#ed never left not in my mind shes sTILL HERE WITH EVERYONE

[puppy-steve]

promise you forever

steddie ☆ 971 ☆ cw: none ☆ appalachian eddie ☆ ao3

“phone for ya, eds,” wayne chuckles as he comes out of the house to the front porch where everyone’s sitting. “think your boy’s had one too many.”

eddie frowns and stamps down the worry bubbling inside him. steve rarely ever drinks anymore. doesn’t smoke anymore, either. not since starcourt. eddie slides off the porch swing where he’d been sitting with his aunt pep and goes inside to the wall phone in the kitchen, the receiver laying on the counter.

“steve?” he says, lifting the phone to his ear.

“country boy, i love youuuuuuuu!”

steve’s words are slurred, which doesn’t make eddie any less panicked. what happened? was he okay? eddie leaves to visit his family for one week and he can’t seem to escape the horrors that hawkins, indiana seems to breed every day.

“stevie? baby, you okay?” eddie tries to keep his voice from shaking.

there’s a laugh on the other line and steve flat out yells into the phone, “eddie! hi!” yep. he’s definitely drunk. eddie strains to hear any background noise that would give any hints as to where steve is at, but it’s silent.

eddie’s knuckles grip the phone. “where are you, sweetheart? are you safe?”

steve makes a grumbling noise, like he’s talking to someone else and eddie doesn’t know if that makes him feel better or worse.

“i’m fiiiiiine, eds,” steve says after another second of grumbling. “teds. teddy. teddy bear.” he starts listing ever iteration of eddie’s name, and eddie doesn’t want him to stop. if he keeps going, then eddie knows he’s not in immediate danger.

“dingus! stop hogging the phone!”

wait.

“robbie, i’m trying to talk to me boyfriend,” steve whines and there’s sounds of a scuffle and “no—hey—robin, it’s still my turn—!”

“hi, eddie!” robin’s voice is suddenly in his ear and sounding just as drunk as steve. jesus christ, eddie’s never leaving them unsupervised again.

eddie sighs and runs a hand down his face. “robin, where the hell are you? and why are you drunk?” these two are gonna finish what the bats started and put him in an early grave, he swears it.

on her end, robin groans. “dingus!” she scolds steve. “you didn’t remind him?”

“remind me of what, bobbie?” eddie asks. now that he’s sure the two of them are somewhat coherent and probably not in danger, he feels so fucking tired all of a sudden.

“it’s my birthday, doofus!”

well now eddie feels awful. steve reminded him before he and wayne left, but in all the excitement of seeing the rest of his family again, it slipped eddie’s mind.

robin continues, “and you, theodore munson!”

if eddie thought he was off the hook, he’s dead wrong. he’s never hearing the end of this now. it’s not likely, but maybe luck will be on his side for once and she’ll forget this conversation ever happened.

“you owe me a birthday breakfast, lunch, and dinner when you get back. and you have to buy me a present.”

eddie rests his forehead on the wall as a laugh bubbles up out of his chest at the ridiculousness of the situation. “alright, birdie,” he promises. “as soon as i get back, i’ll start right on it and get you the most expensive present i can afford.”

“it better break your bank account, munson!” she threatens, but eddie knows she’s bluffing.

“alright, birthday girl, can you put steve back on?”

robin yells out for steve. “you better not be doing any hanky panky on my birthday, dingus,” she warns before steve comes on the line.

“hi, baby.” he’s definitely still drunk, but he’s quieter, not yelling into the phone like he was a few minutes ago.

warmth fills eddie’s chest and he leans his shoulder on the wall, angling himself away from the door to give himself a sense of privacy in case anyone comes inside. “hey sweetheart,” he says just as softly. “you two having fun?”

he can practically see steve’s nod. “mhm,” he confirms. “miss you, though. wish you were here.”

eddie’s gonna marry this boy someday, just you wait.

“i miss you, too, sugar,” eddie tells him. “wayne said he thinks you’ve had a little too much to drink.”

“no i haven’t!” steve’s voice raises for a second before dropping back down again. “just had one… three… four beers, i promise.”

eddie hums, not bothering to hide the amused grin on his face. “uh-huh. s'at why you sound drunker than a skunk, right now, sweet thing?”

steve huffs and eddie wants so badly to kiss the pout off his boyfriends lips. “m'not drunk,” he says without any real argument.

“alright, i believe you,” eddie concedes. he can’t help but to let a little worry back in. he bites his lip. “can you promise me something, stevie?”

steve’s answer is immediate and almost shatters eddie’s heart. “i’ll promise you forever, teddy.”

eddie takes a breather to calm himself down so he doesn’t jump in wayne’s truck and make the five hour drive back to hawkins. “promise me you’ll call nancy if either of you start to feel weird?”

steve hums in his ear, like a purring cat. “i promise, baby. cross my heart ‘n everything.”

eddie grins and wishes he was there in front of him so he could touch him. “thank you. i won’t keep you any longer, then. i’m sure birdie’s getting impatient.”

“she’s always impatient,” steve huffs. “it’s her best quality.”

there’s no argument there.

“i love you, stevie. call me tomorrow when you wake up?”

steve sighs softly. “i love you, eddie.” he makes exaggerated kissing noises over the phone until he hangs up.

eddie hangs the receiver up. he’s here in his grandmother’s kitchen, surrounded by his family, but his heart has never felt as full as it does in this moment.

🥐☕💕 buy me a coffee? taglist: @yournowheregirl @steves-strapcollection @thefreakandthehair @stobinesque @vecnuthy @tboygareth @starrystevie @inairbinad @flowercrowngods @starryeyedjanai @matchingbatbites @corrodedbisexual @theheadlessphilosopher @sidekick-hero @patchworkgargoyle @sentient-trash @wormdebut @legitcookie @corrodedcoughin @steddieas-shegoes @wynnyfryd

[bingbongsupremacy]

Closure Pt. 3

I'm taking requests! Please send you ideas in! I'd love to write them!

Pairing: Steve Harrington x plus size!reader

Warnings: swearing, anger, idk what else

Series Summary: You never knew Steve could be so shallow. When he leaves you to date Nancy Wheeler, you're left with a pain you thought he'd never leave with you. Maybe you should've stayed friends.

Part Summary: Robin invites you over for a small get-together before you leave, little did you know Steve was also invited.

*Not Proof Read* Stranger Things Masterlist

Based on Taylor Swift's Song Closure. This was a request. I tried to make everything as general as possible. Pls let me know if missed something ty. Also Eddie did not die in this.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

It's just an hour. And it'll be nice to see everyone again. I mean, I haven't seen Robin in years. I wonder whatever happened with Vickie.

I press the doorbell of the older-looking apartment. A loud ring echoes from the other side of the door. Immediately, it's opened by an excited-looking Robin.

" You made it! " She grins, pulling me into a tight hug. Her hair's grown slightly but she still looks the same as she did in high school. " We have so much to catch up on. I haven't seen you in forever. "

" Of course I made it, Rob. I wouldn't miss this for the world. " I smile at the girl.

She leads me into the apartment, loud voices immediately flooding my ears. " Make yourself at home. There's snacks and games in the living room. And Eddie brought beer. There's a few people I invited that you might not know. I hope that's okay. "

" That's alright. I don't mind. "

" Well well well, look what the cat dragged in. " Eddie's playfully acts annoyed. His hands are on his hips, a pout on his lips. His arms support multiple new tattoos, some of which look fresher than others. " I thought you died. "

I roll my eyes. " Still alive and kicking. I see you're still a drama queen. "

Eddie gasps. " Am not. "

" It's good to see you, Ed. " I grin while hugging the slightly older man. " How's the band? "

" Better than ever. " Eddie pulls out a folded sheet of paper from his black jeans. He opens it, revealing this band logo on the very top. " We're playing multiple venues now. And we've been asked to go meet with some exec hot shots for a record label. " His excitement is evident in his tone. " We fucking did it, Y/N. "

" I'm so proud of you! "

The doorbell rings and Robin jumps up from her spot on the couch to answer the door.

A few muffled voices make their way down the hallway as Robin brings the guests further into apartment.

" What about you? What've you been up too? Livin' good up in the big city? " Eddie asks. His arms are splayed out comfortably on the top of the sofa behind him. His legs are lazily crossed out in front of him, his posture very casual.

I don't get to respond. A voice behind me grabs my attention.

" Y/N? "

I know that voice.

Steve.

I turn my head to see the man I'd been hoping to avoid for days now.

Fuck.

Steve's eyes are wide in confusion. He looks slightly older but still just as attractive as he did all those years before. His hair is still styled the same, only slightly longer.

" Steve? " I mumble in surprise.

" You two know each other? " Robin asks, a smile on her face. She has no idea about us.

I nod stiffly. " We did a long time ago. "

A small movement behind Steve's shoulder grabs my attention. Nancy Wheeler peeks over his shoulder, curious to who I am.

" Oh my, Y/N? " Nancy smiles warmly.

Even better.

" Hey, Nancy. " I greet politely. Moments ago this apartment felt fun and casual. Now it feels absolutely suffocating.

I thought I was done with Steve. I threw his shit away. Why is this bugging me so much? He's a stranger now.

Then why does he feel so familiar?

The doorbell rings again and Eddie lets out a grown. " How many people did you fucking invite, Robin? At this rate the whole towns gonna be here. "

" Shut up. It's the pizza. I'll be right back. " Robin rolls her eyes before disappearing into the hall.

" Didn't you two used to date? " Eddie asks out of the blue, pointing to Steve and I.

" Uh, yeah. " Steve nods awkwardly.

Eddie looks between Nancy and Steve. " Shit, you two dated too! "

Ten points to fucking sherlock over here. Really solving all the worlds greatest mysteries.

" Man, that's awkward. "

" You think? " I glare over at him. Of course, he had to bring that shit up, didn't he.

The room grows quiet. Nancy and Steve sit side by side on the ground across from Eddie and I. A small brown coffee table separates us, thankfully putting some distance between everyone.

" Who fucking died in here? Why are you guys so quiet? " Robin asks while carrying the pizzas in. " This is supposed to be a game night, guys. Not a sit-awkwardly-on-the-floor-in-weird-silence-and-stare-at-the-floor night. " She places the pizzas on an empty area on the coffee table. " I'm gonna grab some plates and napkins. When I come back I want everyone talking. " She playfully orders.

" So..." Eddie drags out the word awkwardly. He reaches into his pants and pulls out a small baggie filled with long white rolls. " Anyone want some weed? "

" You're not smoking weed in my apartment Munson! " Robin shouts from the kitchen.

This is going to be a long night.

*******

" I'm gonna go get some air. " I take one last swig of my beer before standing up.

Who knew Eddie and Robin were so competitive when it came to twister?

They don't seem to hear me over their loud trash-talking. Robin cackles loudly as she manages to contort her body somehow to get her arm onto a green circle. " It's alright, old man. You can give up now. We all know you've got fragile bones. "

" Shut the fuck up. You're just salty I kicked your ass at uno. " Eddie's voice dies down as I make it outside.

Outside is cold and quiet but it's a nice change from the loud environment inside. It's pretty late. Everyone is tucked in their houses, away from the streets.

I'd spent the last two hours debating if I should go home. Every time I'm about to say I need to go, thoughts about how I wouldn't need to leave if I didn't still feel sad about Steve start to pop up.

" Can we talk? "

" What's there to talk about, Steve? You sent me a letter. I read it. We're fine. " I reply stiffly.

" You never replied. " Steve steps out further onto Robins' front porch. He leans against the railing a step's length away from me.

I don't bother to look at him. " I didn't feel like it. I'm not into the whole letter thing. You know that. "

I've never been a fan of writing letters. It feels less personal than talking to someone else in person or on the phone.

Steve lets out a small sigh. From the corner of my eye, I spot the steam of his breath from the cold pre-winter air. " I'm sorry. "

" You broke my heart, Steve. " Anger bubbles in my chest. " You fucking broke it. Why did it take you so long to write to me? Why didn't you try to call? " I look over at him.

" I didn't know where you lived. You moved across the country, how was I supposed to get in contact with you? " Steve asks, his eyes staring into mine.

" That's bullshit Steve and you know it. If you really fucking wanted to you would've tried to get ahold of me. I was still at home the entire summer after graduation. You could've asked my mom for my number or-fuck even my address. You had options and you chose not to do anything. How am I supposed to believe you? " I feel my face heat up from anger.

" Admit it, Steve. You sent me that fucking letter because you feel guilty. You're ashamed of yourself. You wanted to smooth things over, make yourself feel better. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready to pretend nothing ever happened yet. It wasn't just the fact that you broke up with me, Steve. We were friends. Best friends, at least I thought so. You just threw our friendship away. " I let out a bitter laugh. " And the ironic part was you were worried that you telling me how you felt would ruin our friendship. No, you did that when you let other people's opinions into our relationship. "

" I was a fucking coward, Y/N! What do you want me to say? " He asks desperately. " I lived off of the opinions of others and that ultimately cost me the best fucking thing that happened to me. " He grips the cold railing in front of us tightly. " I lost you because I was too scared to be myself and I will never forgive myself because of that. " He sighs. " I don't want you to forgive me, Y/N. I just want to know you're okay. "

" I'm not okay, Steve. I-I'm so conflicted. " I gesture to the man. " I still love you and I'm so fucking angry about it. I shouldn't still love you but I do. "

" I still love you to. " Steve replies honestly. " I haven't stopped thinking about you. I wonder what you're up to and who you've become all the time. "

I miss him too.

" What do we do? " I ask after a moment of silence.

Steve shrugs. He looks defeated. " I don't know. "

" Are you and Nancy dating again? " I ask quietly.

Steve shakes his head. " What? No. We're just friends. We haven't dated since the end of Senior Year. She's with Jonathan. "

We fall into another silence.

" I'm not ready to date you again. I don't know if I ever will be. " I begin.

Steve nods sadly. He shoves his hands in his pockets. " I completely understand. "

" But I'm willing to try to be friends again. Only friends. "

Steve's eyes light up. " Really? " A small smile of relief breaks onto his face. " Thank you, Y/N. Thank you so much. I promise this is going to better than last time. I'll treat you better than last time. "

" This doesn't mean your forgiven, it just means I'm willing to try. "

Steve nods. " I get that. I won't let you down. "

Is this stupid?

Probably.

Will I get my heart broken again? I don't know.

But we only live once and who knows where this could go. Maybe Steve has changed. Maybe he's a better man.

I guess we'll see.

Steve Harrington, please don't break my heart again. Please.

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog@queen-apple24

[piratefishmama]

Forgiven not Forgotten | Part 6

Matchmaking would unfortunately have to wait. As much as the parents wanted to dive right in, meddle a little, be insufferable, it was well overdue after all, there were more pressing concerns. Eddie was awake. He was awake, coherent, sure he’d been initially a little loopy loo on the drugs, but he was able to answer questions, simple questions. Sort of.

“What year is it?”

“I mean, I thought it was 1986 but I seem to be missing a couple of years so, pretty sure it’s 1988 now. So much for graduating.”

“Who’s the president?”

“Man I dunno, how would I know? I just told you I’m missing a couple of years. Reagan? Is it still Reagan?”

“It’s still Reagan, Eds, election isn’t for another few months.”

“Thanks, Stevie.” Eddie turned back to the doctor “Reagan then.”

“Don’t help the patient, Mr Harrington.” Steve mouthed a sorry but didn’t actually look sorry. Eddie just smiled at him. A conspiratorial little grin shared between them, like an inside joke they’d never had the moment to create. It continued on like that for a good half an hour, boring step by step questions to ascertain just how much of Eddie’s memory was simply not there.

It turned out, he remembered nothing from after he took his seemingly last breath, to waking up in that room. Or at least that was what he was sticking to. Until the doctors left and everyone decided to leave Steve on his own in that room with him. The Harringtons gently guiding Dustin out as well, offering to get him something from the vending machines as their sandwiches had been distributed already to those sitting in with Max, Will, and Eleven via Robin.

Stinson had already collected the documents and was likely off to do whatever she had to do to fulfil her promises.

“I do remember some stuff.” Eddie finally broke the silence that seemed to fall over them the second everyone left the room. Steve’s eyes shot to him, wide, fearful? Why was he afraid? He held up a hand quickly, then got up out of his chair. Eddie watched in confused silence as Steve rummaged around the room, checking around things, the flowers people had left, the plant in the corner of the room, the TV that hadn’t been turned on, each of the little machines, he even checked the lights, and only when apparently satisfied, his search coming up empty-handed, did he finally turn back to Eddie.

“What do you remember, Eddie?”

“Nothing out here I guess.” He wasn’t going to ask why Steve ransacked the room, it didn’t really matter. “The real world I mean. It was like… a void. This big, dark space. It felt like I was stuck in limbo, but I could like… make stuff appear if I thought about it hard enough.” Steve’s continued silence only prompted him to talk more “like—like my bedroom back at the trailer? I could make that appear, everything in it, crystal clear, I could use stuff in it like my guitar, or my yo-yo! I could make the picnic table behind the school appear, I could even make Red’s living room appear if I thought about it hard enough… it was like… like I was stuck in my own brain or something, it was only places I’d been too. Time didn’t really… move there, y’know? I thought I’d only been gone a few days.”

Steve was looking down at the floor, brows furrowed, eyes flicking as if searching for answers in his own mind, working through theory after theory in silence. “Was it just you in there?”

“Mhm yeah, I mean… sorta. I think so. I mean, the mirror in my room always freaked me out a little bit but… I dunno, it was me just—”

“Not you.”

“Yeah. How’d you—"

“Don’t talk about this. At all, with anyone else. Okay? Nobody else. Not even the kids. This cannot leave this room, alright?” Eddie’s eyes flicked to the door, before he nodded “you stick to your story, you don’t remember anything. Nothing. You got ate, you woke up here. Nothing in between. Not the void. Nothing. That’s the story you stick to. Got it?”

“…Steve… what happened?” Steve sat back down beside his bed.

“Nothing good, nothing good happened these past two years okay? But as long as you don’t remember, and with what we know, I don’t think there’s anything out there that could jog that memory, you’ll be fine.” Eddie let his eyes drop to his lap, fingers fiddling with the blankets, full of nervous, uncertain energy. He was missing something. He was missing a lot of somethings, but Steve was right. It wasn’t like there was a fog in his mind where memories should have been, he remembered dying, the void, and then waking up. Nothing was missing there. He didn’t even feel like he was missing something. “I’m not going to tell you what happened, Eddie so don’t ask. There are things that you don’t need to know, things that you wouldn’t want to know. Just be grateful that you don’t remember them, and that you’re here, alright?”

“…I still don’t know how I’m here.”

“You don’t need to, just… be glad you are. We all are.”

“…All of you?”

“All of us, Munson.”

They fell into silence again, not uncomfortable, Steve seemed content where he was, a little troubled maybe, there were lines on his face that weren’t there before, stress and worry having etched permanent lines into his skin the past two years, but he was content. “Steve I—”

The door bursting open cut off anything Eddie would have said, he wasn’t even sure what he was going to say, he didn't have a plan but Steve was staying so he had to say something even if it would have been dumb... so he was sort of glad it happened.

He was glad Robin burst in and immediately took to reaching for the TV with a “you have to see this shit.” As her explanation as a news channel, the screen split between two women quickly came into view. one in a news studio, one backed by a horrorscape the people in the room unfortunately recognised.

“—he closest we’ve been allowed to get to Hawkins Indiana in the last two years, after a 7.4 magnitude earthquake rocked this quaint town 80 miles outside of Indianapolis. This town, once struck by tragedy, after tragedy, now lays desolate, a wasteland, and although the government remains tight lipped as to the exact cause of the decay which has steadily overcome this town for the last two years, government operatives who have been slowly picking through the wreckage of this disaster looking for more survivors, have assured us that it is a contained and isolated incident.”

“And this decay… I’m sure towns nearby will be worried, it can’t spread further, right?” The anchor prompted.

“No Judy, we have been assured that, while it remains classified, the cause has been located, and destroyed by a combined herculean effort from both civilian, and government forces.”

“Is there any further information on the murders that took place just before this disaster struck? If you recall some were claiming these disasters were tied to satanism and caused by ritualistic sacrifices at work?”

“Unfortunately the losses sustained in this catastrophe include the majority of the police force investigating this heinous crime, however our sources have revealed the true identity of the perpetrator, to be none other than a Mr Henry Creel, brought to justice by the very man he framed for the murders of Chrissy Cunningham, Patrick McKinney, Fredrick Benson, and the attempted murder of Maxine Mayfield. Eyewitnesses have come forward to reveal Edward Munson was seen alongside several other civilians who will remain nameless, heroically subduing the man in his attempt to flee a second thankfully unsuccessful attempt on miss Mayfields life. His reign of terror over this small town, finally ended by the very people he tormented.”

“I have here that Henry Creel was presumed deceased several years ago, is that correct?”

It was so scripted, everything about it, nothing felt real but… they were at least pinning it on the actual guilty party.

Creel’s human face revealed on screen in between the two video feeds, a blurry ID photo with no discernible origin used as the picture. It disappeared again shortly after, the two feeds growing larger once more to fill the split screen.

“Yes. Perhaps that is what gave him the freedom to enact this terrible crime without suspicion. He was being held in a private psychiatric facility which cares for mentally traumatised youths, pronounced deceased to protect him from association with his father, Victor Creel. He escaped spring of '86 under the name Peter Ballard, and immediately took to live up to his fathers’ terrible legacy.”

“And what can you tell us about the survivors of this catastrophe?”

“Once a population of just under 15,000, survivors have been spread across just four hospitals in Roane County. The death toll…” the reporter appeared to breathe, she looked down for a moment, clearly emotional “unfathomable. This will surely go down in history as one of the worst natural disasters The United States has ever experienced.”

“Thank you, Harriet.” The second feed was cut, the anchor taking up the entirety of the screen once more. “Government officials have stated that the names and current locations of identified survivors will be made available at this free to call automated line.” A number flashed up on the screen. It stayed there for just long enough to write it down “it will be shown over the course of the following weeks until all survivors are claimed by family or friends.”

The camera switched to another anchor, a man. “In lighter news, Washin—” Robin turned off the TV. Screw lighter news.

Steve stared at the now blank screen, mouth hanging open, “Did they just—”

“Pin the blame on the actual guy who did it while giving Eddie the credit for taking his ass down? Haha, yeah. Stinson didn’t fuck around.”

“Holy shit. That was like, an hour. Maximum.”

“Stinson, didn’t fuck around. Also your parents have been calling estate agents in Bloomington.”

“Huh?”

Eddie needed a nap.

Part 8

[poppadom0912]

Together (X)

Warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, injuries, abuse, kidnappings, shootings, swearing and scary men.

Summary: Everyone's reunited at last and are never letting go.

A/N: This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I just wanna reiterate how much fun writing this has been and how much i appreciate all the love and support you've shown this series.

It's a bit too late for my liking but I've only now finished writing. This week was so busy for me but I promised and here it is!

Enjoy the last 2.5k words of angst because the epilogue is next!!🙃😊

Previous Chapter / Series Masterlist / Next Chapter

Kelly was bursting through the seams with anxiety. The entire time while responding to the car pile-up, he was riddled with it and the tension he harboured carried through to everyone else.  

It put him at somewhat ease to know at least Sylvie and Violet were with you as well as Intelligence and then eventually everyone at Med. You were going to be surrounded by people you loved and vice versa.  

When the scene started to get cleared up, Boden wasted no time and let Kelly go, urging him to take his buggy and promising everyone would be there once everything was finished.  

The second Kelly stepped into the ED, April was at his side and guiding him towards the ICU where you were being kept for now. On the way up, she carefully explained what she knew and warned him about your appearance.  

Kelly didn't know what to think till he saw your face for himself and God, he wanted to bring hell onto earth.  

Jay heard his soft steps, picking up his head from the back of the chair. Kelly wouldn't say it to his face, but Jay looked horrible, eye bags dark and sullen, hair uncombed and frizzy and injury wise, the bandages told him enough. Somehow, Jay looked worse than what he did yesterday when Kelly last saw him.  

Upon seeing the lieutenant, Jay tiredly smiled at him, easing himself out of his chair and half limped out the room with the IV pole in his left hand. Kelly went forward hastily to help him, telling him to sit back down or help him out the room into another seat but Jay shrugged him off, weakly pushing his efforts away. 

“Go be with my sister you dumbass. April’s here to help me, don’t worry.” 

And with that, he watched his childhood friend help support his supposed soon to be brother-in-law down the white hallways of the intensive care unit. 

Kelly's eyes burned when he first caught sight of you. The last time he saw you was on the video he'd been sent of you screaming as you were being beaten up.  

Gosh, Kelly had felt so helpless and still feels as such.  

Sitting in the chair Jay had previously been inhabiting, Kelly took his time to fully study you, memorising every feature of your face once again in fear of having you ripped out his grasp again.  

You looked so different. Kelly knew your body by the back of his hand and had your every single detail down to the cell engraved into the forefront of his mind. You looked so different but so recognisable, there was no mistaking that this sleeping woman was indeed you.  

Six hours ago, everyone was ready to mourn the oldest and the youngest Halstead. Despite the resilience Intelligence bleed, everyone had been told to prepare for the worst and six hours ago, all hope was lost and giving up seemed so sweet but so sour it still stung now.  

Kelly hesitated, hand hovering mid-air over yours, eyes cast down on your battered body that he could only see little of. Healing scabs and scars alike marred your hands, the sight making him falter, wondering if it was even a good idea to hold your hand. But then the last two days flashed in his eyes and without another thought, he gently placed your hand in his.  

Relief washed over him in waves, flooding his veins. This sensation felt so bittersweet, the sweet poking the tears from his eyes and the bitter nipping at his ankles. To have you back in his vicinity, to have you back home, Kelly never wanted anything so badly before in his life. Despite this, you had been through the ringer, experiencing pain like no other, pain that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.

Actually, the Murray’s deserve worse, maybe the devil himself. Hell and a bit more sounded sufficient enough.

With his hand safely enveloping yours, Kelly felt himself calming down. Even with all the machinery beeping around him, to feel your pulse against his fingers made this dream a reality.

Soft knocking brought him out of his thoughts. Reluctantly pulling his eyes away from you, Kelly found Sylvie standing at the door with two coffees in hand, Violet nowhere in sight.

“Maggie said I can’t give this to Jay, so…” Sylvie said, dragging the word as she held out the paper cup towards him, shrugging her shoulders sheepishly when Kelly smirked in amusement.

“Thanks Brett.” Kelly smiled, gladly taking the caffeine from her hands, and drinking with no hesitation. Truth be told, no one in the firehouse slept much last night, they had too much playing on their minds.

“Crocket said surgery went well.” Sylvie started, standing by your head, fingers caressing your hair as she gently pulled each tangle apart one by one. “I know it doesn’t look like it but she’s going to be fine.”

There was a pregnant pause, Sylvie’s attention diverted and solely on detangling your matted hair before bringing a washcloth that sat on the table to get rid of any residue and dirt stuck on your face. Her trained fingers were put to work, her eyes not once leaving your face as she continued without stopping.

“She’s going to be just fine.”

*****

Kevin was overwhelmed, so was Kim and Hailey but much less so than the aforementioned man. The rest of the team, well they were off busy with the Murray’s and their many, many (somehow attained) henchmen.

The two women were bystanders in it all, coming much later and missing out the most brutal parts. The same could not be said for Kevin and Will.

The two men were following Jay out the warehouse but at a much slower pace. Kevin was supporting Will as best he could, apologising every time the doctor winced and faltered in his steps. Eventually, Jay got so far ahead that he disappeared and very likely was already outside and getting you into the single ambulance waiting.

All of a sudden, the silence that was only interrupted by Will expressing his pain was intruded by gunfire.

They really couldn’t catch a break, could they?

Will apparently remembered the hallways and pointed out a dead-end corridor for them to take cover in and despite his pain riddled brain, he wasn’t wrong.

Without any hesitation, Kevin drew his gun from his holster and shot when necessary and whenever he found someone lurking nearby. Without diverting his attention, he grabbed his walkie and called for backup, relaying both in code and not what was happening.  

Eventually when some time had passed, way too long for Kevin to be comfortable with, Kim and Hailey appeared from around the corner, guns held up in caution before they lowered at the sight of the officer.  

Despite having everything under control, Kevin felt better having his colleagues with him now that Jay was gone. With their help, together they could probably get Will out quicker.  

Now that everything calmed down, Kevin could finally solely put his focus onto said man. Turning his back to the two women, Kevin went to talk to the redhead but found himself speechless at the sight he was met with.  

Lord knows how but up above was a window that some crazy henchman busted his way through and had silently landed on the ground behind him. The man was dressed in all black, blonde hair pocking from the mask he wore armed with both a gun and knife.  

Worst of all, the unnamed and very much unwelcomed man was way too close to Will for Kevin's liking.  

Before Kevin could properly take care of the dude, a shot was fired, and the man fell very ungracefully onto the solid floor, the sound of the impact making all the intelligence personnel internally wince.  

With the nuisance out of the way and no more pathetic distractions, Kevin turned to the redheaded man once again and the sight made him sick. So sick that he had to bite his tongue and hold back any bile from coming up.  

Kim and Hailey clearly felt the same, both gasping from behind him.  

The annoying man had been left ‘alone’ with Will for plenty long enough because along with all his injuries, another gaping wound had been added. Will was riddled in open wounds, the longer you stared the worse they looked. This one, instead of sitting among the others in his torso, was nicely placed in his thigh which conveniently was just above where Jay had been shot.  

It seemed very convenient that every place on his body that had a wound were the places that bled the most. Will was having so much fun right now.

“Shit! Will!” Kevin rushed to kneel down before the slouched man. Chucking his gun and radio aside, quite carelessly, his brain short circuited before everything kicked in.

“Pressure.” Will coughed out, visibly struggling to keep breathing steadily. “You- you need to put pressure on it.” He repeated, wheezing as he liked his chapped and pale lips.

Without question, Hailey hastily took off the thin jacket she was wearing, rushing forward, and kneeling besides Kevin. With caution and slight apprehension, she positioned the jacket around his thigh but hesitated when she was supposed to tie it.

“This is going to hurt Will.” She said firmly, her strong tone warning him.

“The tighter…” Will started, slowly blinking up at the blonde woman who he knew secretly liked his brother and vice versa. “The better.”

And with that, Hailey tied the simplest knot and pulled hard.

“Fuck!” Will exclaimed, voice breaking. “Motherfucker-“

“Sorry! I’m so sorry but it’s all done.” Hailey incessantly apologised to him; her remorse visible on her face but before she could get up, she was stopped by a hand gripping her wrist.

“You have to go tighter.” Will stated, his fingers clutching her wrist as tight as he could but Hailey barely felt any weight. “Just like a torniquet. It has- has to be tight or else…”

“Will, stay with us man.” Kevin said, his tone leaking with urgency, almost pleading him. “You’re the doctor, walk us through it.”

Forcing his eyes open, Will blearily started at the three of them. His mind was completely muddled and subconsciously, he incredulously wondered how they hadn’t been trained to make a tourniquet in the field.

“Belt?”

Without further say, Kevin was getting up to unbuckle his belt easier, Kim replacing his space.

With much struggled, many pauses and tons of encouragement, they kept him alert enough for him to guide them through making a tourniquet around his thigh. The pain was unbearable, altogether it was blinding.

“I’m so sorry Will.” Kim whispered, sitting in front of him but she was alone with him, Kevin and Hailey gone off to find what was taking the medical attention so long to arrive. “Just a little longer I swear.”

“Jay! Stop panicking.”

“Hailey, it’s Will-“

“We’ve got him, go be with Y/N.”

“But Will- are you sure?”

“He’s trying his best, okay? Go be with our girl.”

And that might’ve been the last thing Will heard, the faint shouting between the two detective partners. Kim’s voice actually, he heard that last, her shouts for help when his eyes slid shut.

Actually, Jay’s desperate pleading, that was the last thing he heard.

*****

"It was part of protocol we run a rape kit."

Kelly couldn't breathe. His only saving grace being that Jay wasn't currently in the room with him.

"It came out clean."

Kelly physically deflated at the good news.

"It's going to take a while but she will recover. They both will." Ethan said, having permission from Crocket to tell him the news.

"And no one's heard anything about Will yet?"

The silence was so suffocating, if Kelly squinted, he could probably see Ethan turning blue from the lack of oxygen.

"We've been told we're waiting on a body. They want us to confirm it."

Kelly didn't need to ask for Ethan to break it down for him. He knew exactly what that meant.

If he looked the Korean man in the eye, Kelly would definitely see a thin sheen of tears coating his eyes.

*****

Antonio had been doing this for a long time, he’d seen and been through a lot himself but this, this would stay with him for a long time.

The guttural screams that tore his vocal cords to further damage. The blood trailed after him like the bread from Hansel and Gretel, painting the crime scene a war zone. His cries begging to know his baby brother and sister were safe and, in a hospital, where they could recover.

They were watching the innocent doctor become a martyr right before their very own eyes.

What happened next could only be explained by pure, sheer will and determination.

While they were hounding for an ambulance, Antonio caught men getting escorted away in cuffs, all looking identical until the final two men left the building. The rage he felt, Antonio didn’t know how any of them remained stationary.

It was a miracle Will came back to consciousness. When he closed his eyes and his body went limp, everyone truly thought that was it, after everything the Halstead’s had done to survive, this was the unhappy ending they were getting. But then, Will gave the biggest middle finger to fate because after all of this, she could be damned for all he could care.

Will remained alert enough, being continuously roused by each of the remaining intelligence members when they noticed his eyelids sliding shut. They tried distracting him, updating him on the wellbeing of his siblings, news that was happily provided.

The only ones that remained was Antonio and Kevin. The rest had been forced to accompany Jay just in case, they were all preparing for the worse case scenario. And Hank, he was making sure the bastards never got to see the light of day ever again.

Ten minutes passed. By now, it had been two hours since they got on the scene and an hour since they raided the warehouse. The more Will struggled; the more Antonio was losing his patience. Right before the naked eye, out in the open for the entire universe to see, Will was bleeding out; he was dying. Death was looming, crawling from a mile away but its stench was strong, it’s shadow too close for comfort.

Making eye contact with Kevin, they had a silent conversation and with no argument, they were lifting Will up and nearly carrying him towards the car.

This was their last chance and they weren’t going to wait for that ambulance anymore.

And for once, fate guided them with a beaming light. She overturned the hatred she'd shown and led them safely, holding out a much-needed lifeline.

And so when the car screeched to a halt at Med’s ambulance bay doors, Will found it easier to breathe.

Series Masterlist:

@mads-weasley @sowrongitslottie @elite4cekalyma @senjoritanana @hufflepuff-blackwidow @mrspeacem1nusone @kmc1989 @goth-cowgirl-03 @daggersquadphantom @photographerkaiya0306 @jamie0515 @samanthavitale @iamasimpingh0e @lanea-1 @swidkid @jamie0515

[lostloveletters]

Big Girls Don't Cry (Bucky Egan x OC)

Summary: After a night out spirals out of control, Holly thinks she's doomed to be a haunted house. Bucky’s brave enough to let the light in.

Note: An angsty first kiss for Holly and Bucky…I’m so overwhelmed by the response to the MotA fics I’ve posted so far, thank you so much🖤 There's going to be a parallel Woody/Brady-centric fic to this, which is why I included a decent ensemble here lol. Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Descriptions of a panic attack and related self-inflicted injuries; mentions of death and grief (hurt/comfort). Inevitable historical inaccuracies. Ends on a somewhat suggestive note, but nothing explicit.

Holly was exhausted when Bucky asked her to go to the pub in town with him and some of the other pilots that evening. She initially hesitated, but between his near insisting and her notion that a break from the base would do her good, she accepted the invitation. When she found Woody later on to ask if she was going, Brady had already invited her, a light blush spreading across Woody’s face when she told Holly. The overall group of seven required pushing two tables together and stealing some empty chairs.

“Holly, your drink’s on me. I got $4.50 when you won the last typing contest,” Bucky said.

“You bet on it?” Buck asked.

“I knew she’d win.”

“Beat her own record,” Woody added.

Buck shook his head, smiling a bit. Holly liked Buck a lot, especially the way his face lit up when she asked him about Marge. Seemed to be physically lighter, too, like the weight of being one of the de facto leaders of the 100th was off of his shoulders for that moment in time. He’d get almost flustered if he realized he was rambling, apologizing for taking up so much of her time talking about his girl even though she was the one who asked him.

“Which is why I’m buying my sailor a dark ‘n’ stormy, and the rest of you are on your own.”

She laughed, “Thanks, Bucky.”

‘My sailor.’ He had taken to calling her after they listened to the Nationals-Yankees game together. But she apparently inherited her sailorship from Stan, her preference for rum and penchant for cursing around Bucky (and few others), made him designate her so.

Nevermind she had only been on a boat a handful of times, one of which was the ship that brought her over to England from New York, and no, she didn’t know any sea shanties. He took it upon himself to learn one from a local laborer who worked on schooners at the turn of the century. Of course, Bucky had been drunk when he tried to teach her the song, remembering half of the lyrics and ad-libbing the rest. She left the singing to him.

She still had one secret–an anchor tattoo on her upper arm. An impulsive decision she and Stan made together when she accompanied him to San Francisco the week he shipped out to the Pacific. The same week she met Woody, and the rest of her life started before she could blink.

Being in the pub with everyone was the most normal she’d felt in a while. She hoped could finally shake whatever stormy clouds had made their home in her mind over the past year. 

“Hey Holly, you’re from DC, right?” Curt asked abruptly. “You ever meet the President? See him around the neighborhood or something?”

She laughed. “No, unfortunately I’ve never run into President Roosevelt at the drug store.”

“How would he even do that? He’d get mobbed,” Crank said. 

Woody nodded. “He’s probably got a mean security detail, too.”

“Well he can’t spend all day in the White House!”

“Why not? Heard they got a bowling alley in there,” Buck said.

“Woody, I’ll get you a beer?” Brady asked, his voice low among the clamor of what President Roosevelt did for fun in the nation's capital.

“Thanks, John.”

Holly sneaked a glance at her best friend when Brady stood up and headed over to the bar. She wasn’t sure if Woody had told him that Holly knew about them. There were few, if any secrets between Holly and Woody, and guys were certainly no exception.

“Look, if I were the president, I’d wanna know my neighbors,” Curt said.

“If you were president,” Buck repeated, toothpick between his teeth as he smiled. “Listen to him.”

“Hey, anybody can run,” Curt said. “That’s what it says in the Bill of Rights or something.”

“That doesn’t mean you should,” Crank said.

“You got my vote, Curt,” Bucky announced, setting his and Holly’s drinks on the table.

“Thanks, Bucky. You’ll be my VP.”

Bucky grinned, sitting next to Holly. His arm settled on the back of her seat, his fingers brushing the ends of her curly hair. 

The next few minutes was a game of musical chairs as everyone else came and went with their drinks of choice, Brady taking the seat next to Woody as soon as it was open. 

Holly found herself leaning against Bucky as she drank, nursing her dark ‘n’ stormy with the intent of making it last until it was time to leave. He was the only person she felt comfortable enough to be in such close contact with besides Woody. He felt like sitting next to the radiator in her childhood bedroom, and she nearly nodded off after some time, Buck and Bucky in the middle of some conversation she couldn’t follow. 

Curt returned to the table with what must have been his third or fourth beer of the night.

“Hey Bucky, some of these blokes are lookin’ to play darts,” he said, motioning behind him.

Bucky nodded. “Hope they’re ready to cover my tab.” He threw back his whiskey and gave Holly’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he got up. “C’mon, doll.”

Holly didn’t remember much of what happened between then and when she heard it. An entire chunk of time morphed into a hazy blur in her mind. Vaguely remembered cheering for Bucky and Curt. Then Curt called an RAF pilot an asshole, and a fight nearly broke out before fizzling down by the grace of god. Or maybe Buck stepped in. Bucky had something to her before his turn, an aside she laughed at, but couldn’t recall.

Different conversations around her jumbled with one another, stringing together in a cruel way only her own mind could conjure up for her. She heard him clear as day. 

“Stan?” she whispered, her voice crazed with illogical hope.

Her heart raced. She looked frantically around the room for a sign—any sign of him.

But Stan was dead. There’d been a funeral with a body. His mother wept over the open casket. Her own mother had written as much. Sent her the funeral program which remained hidden among her belongings. 

She kept the accompanying memorial card on her person at all times. A nice photo of Stan in uniform. His full name. Dates of birth and death. A bible verse and a little mention of his service in the Navy. 

Stan was dead. Had been for over a year.

Her chest tightened, pulling like a rubber band about to snap. As the room closed in on her, she barrelled through the pub patrons, paying no mind to who was in her path, only that they were between her and a door. 

The cool night air shocked her skin, but it wasn’t enough to snuff out the burning in her lungs. Panic overtook her brain. With a strangled shout, she curled her fist, unleashing months of unspoken grief directly onto the brick wall in front of her. Pain struck her hand like a bolt of lightning, but she could breathe again. 

Her knuckles split open, bruises blossoming across her fingers in the darkness. “Fuck!” she shouted, both in pain and disbelief at herself. “Motherfuck–”

The alley door slammed open, chaos from the bar ringing in her ears as she looked wide-eyed at the person who interrupted her. A tense mortification swept over her body. 

She’d been doing so well. Kept the self-destructive thoughts at bay. Used to chew on her bottom lip until it bled, the pain of broken skin and taste of copper strangely grounding when her mind wandered too far. Hadn’t done in it months. But she never exploded. Not quite like this. 

Bucky stumbled forward, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. “Holly?” he asked, his gaze drifting down to her hand. “Jesus, what happened?”

Of course he would be the one to witness her breakdown. She wished it were Woody, but she sure as hell didn’t want to ruin her best friend’s night out with her boyfriend either. 

Woody was used to it. Holly was always too embarrassed to go to a nurse, so Woody would sit her down and carefully apply petroleum jelly to Holly’s raw lips, eyebrows knit together in concerned concentration as her fingers brushed across the cracked, scabbed over skin. Didn’t care if she had been working for over twelve hours straight or was in the middle of something else.

But Bucky wasn’t Woody, and she never wanted him to see her like this.

Holly stared at him, trembling as he took a tentative step toward her. Tears welled up in her eyes. She frantically rubbed at them with her sleeve. She let out a shaky breath. 

“Holly,” he repeated. “Are you alright?”

“I felt like I was going to explode in there so I came out here and…” She flexed her injured hand and winced. “I heard someone talking. He sounded just like Stan.”  She swallowed a lump in her throat, feeling more pathetic as she explained herself. “I guess my wires got crossed.”

“Hey, it happens,” he tried assuring her. “You think you’re the only one?”

Holly shook her head. “Even when I got the letter last year, I still showed up and did what I had to do. Didn’t miss a day.” She was silent for a moment. “I don’t know why tonight was so different.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it.” He took her bruised hand, whispering an apology when she hissed in pain. Examined it as best as he could in the cover of night. “At least not any more than you already have.”

“I punched a brick wall. I’m not gonna be able to type tomorrow,” she said, quickly adding, “I can’t go to a nurse. They’ll ask what happened, and I’d rather crawl in a hole somewhere.”

He shook his head. “C’mon, I’ll patch up that hand for you. It’s probably not even that bad.”

“Don’t cut your night short because of me.”

Briefly, almost enough to convince her it was just a trick of the moonlight, he looked uncharacteristically sheepish. “It’s the least I can do for making you come out tonight.”

“Bucky, you didn’t make me do anything. I don’t want to be some wilting flower who’s too afraid to keep living. Stan wouldn’t have wanted that for me. I just wish my brain would get the message.”

“Well, I’m sure Stan wouldn’t have wanted you to walk all the way back by yourself if you didn’t have to,” he said.

She smiled weakly. “Yeah, he’d chew me out for that.”

So would Bucky, if this had happened and he hadn’t found her. If she walked back to Thorpe Abbotts alone in the dead of night with nothing but the stars to keep her company. She never cared for them, especially not after Stan. They gave the night glistening teeth that tore her apart far too often for her to be comfortable beneath them.

“Hey, what about darts?” she asked, a good distance away from the pub.

“I pulled Crank in. He can hold his own. Besides, if there’s an angry bartender hunting me down on the base tomorrow, you could probably hold him off for me,” he joked, lightly elbowing her side. “You got one hell of a hook.”

“Stan taught me.”

“He taught you how to fight?”

“Sort of, but he was probably thinking more along the lines of self-defense instead of getting into fights with brick walls.”

“That wall had it coming. If you didn’t punch it, I probably would’ve.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Will you tell that to Chick so he doesn’t kill me tomorrow?”

“He’s not gonna kill you. Might be pissed that his best typist is gonna be out of commission for a few days, though.”

“I can still proofread. Or sort mail. Or—“

“Let me worry about that, alright?”

Holly hesitated. “Alright.”

—————

Bucky had the keys to the Air Exec office, empty for the night, and sat Holly down at her desk. He disappeared for a few minutes, but returned with an armful of peroxide bottles, absorbent cotton, and a roll of gauze. 

“Geez Bucky, don’t waste all of that on me.”

“If I brought you to a nurse, they’d use it on you, anyway.” 

He pulled up a chair, his knees touching hers as he took a closer look at her hand beneath a desk lamp. His eyebrows furrowed as he considered the dried blood, cuts that had already begun to scab over, and a particularly gnarly knuckle that didn’t sit quite right.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but one of your knuckles got dislocated. I’m gonna clean your hand and then pop it back into place.”

“Fuckin’ A,” she said. “I learned that from Stan, too.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“No. Neither did he.”

He snickered, grabbing the peroxide and some cotton. “What was Stan like, anyway? Sounds like an interesting guy from what you told me.”

“Stan was…” She paused. Nobody asked her about Stan. All anyone knew was what little she offered. What was he like? “He cursed like a—well, he was a sailor. Of course he was a Nationals fan. Loved detective novels. We’d have ones we’d read together and see who could figure out the big plot twist first. His front tooth was chipped, but god, he had the best smile. I’m talking serious wattage—“

“Wattage?” Bucky repeated incredulously.

“Okay, I made that up—think electric! He could light up a whole room with just his smile,” she emphasized with a smile of her own. “You know what I mean?”

He glanced up from her hand to her face for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”

“What else…we had this goofy thing going where we’d play tic-tac-toe in our letters to each other. I started doing that because I’m not great at writing letters. I never know what to say, but I wanted him to still look forward to getting them from me.”

“How’d you meet him?”

“I just started secretarial school when he got a job at this fish market up the street from my house. I remember thinking he was so handsome, he almost looked out of place,” Holly said, her voice soft for a moment. “Well, I’d spend so much time there that my mom would complain about how awful I smelled by the time I got home. I asked him out first.”

Bucky laughed. “You’re kidding.”

A wide grin spread across her face. “I wanted to make him mine before he could even think about another girl, so I went in one day and said, ‘When are you gonna take me to see a movie?’ Most guys wouldn’t have liked that, but Stan got a kick out of it. He’d tell the story to anyone who’d listen.” She paused. “I think what really scares me is that at some point, I’ll remember him for longer than I knew him, and I’m always gonna be…like this.”

“I’m gonna set your knuckle back in place now,” Bucky said, his voice low, almost contemplative.

Holly tensed, staring at the ceiling while Bucky pushed against her bruised knuckles. Bone clicked back into place. She groaned. Clenched her good hand into a fist, blinking away tears.

“Barely flinched,” he said. “You’re tougher than you give yourself credit for, doll.” 

She smiled. “Thanks, Bucky.”

They were quiet as he finished bandaging her hand. The room was almost chatty though, buzzing overhead lights, ticking clock on the wall, a leaky pipe somewhere. Among them, a thought broke free from the confines of Bucky’s mind.

“Stan was lucky to have a girl like you waiting for him.”

Glassy brown eyes, wavering with the weight of the world, stared back at him in silence.

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Holly. I shouldn’t have—”

She kissed him, her bandaged hand caressing his cheek. Weeks of silently longing, lusting, and wondering, answered in full as she moved her lips against his. Nearly forgot to kiss her back until he felt her pulling away. 

He placed his hand over her bandaged one, still tenderly cupping his face. The gauze was rough against his skin, a contrast to the pads of her fingers. He curled his fingers around hers, her blunt nails lightly scraping against his cheek.

She gasped against his lips. “John.”

A shiver rolled down his spine as he brushed his thumb over the bandage he’d just finished wrapping, her knuckle that he set back in place for her. All for her. And she kissed him first.

‘I wanted to make him mine.’ 

Mine.

Mine. 

Her dulcet tone echoed in his head until he couldn’t think of anything but kissing her again, offering himself to her as the sole object of her affection. 

Mineminemineminemine. “Holly, baby—” He was trying so hard to be coherent, nearly choking on his words until finally uttering, “I’m all yours.”

[cherry1sblog]

PART 2

PAIRING: Lee heeseung × fem!reader . a

GENRES:smut, fluff, bullying, alcohol,party,unprotect ed sex (rember to wrap your Willy so the out come won't be silly

WARNINGS there is bullying in this heeseung is basically a dick to y/n and nothing in this story is real!!! This is fan fiction and the way I write about heeseung is not the way I portray him as he's a person himself this is simply for entertainment only !!

SUMMARY:heeseung had always bullied you through your 3 years of Highschool but never let anyone touch you other then him and if he found out someone did that was the end of it you were basically marked as his toy that's until the summer of your junior year you had enough you were done with him always making fun of you and you hated the fact that after all he did I to you you still adored him and liked him but it dosent matter cause you wanted to leave your senior year with a banger so you were no longer your nerdy self still smart asf obvi but appearance wise different you got contacts new clothes thank god you guys didn't have a dress code and most importantly you spent all summer learning how to do your makeup..

RECAP….

y/n and sunghoon on the couch asleep "holy shit heeseung hyung is not gonna be happy" jungwon picked you up and ran with you on his back you being confused when jungwon locked his door and threw you on the bed *WHAT TH-

" jungwon covers your mouth muffling your yelling until you stoped "shut the fuck up unless you want to make heeseung hyung and sunghoon hyung hate eachother more right now " honestly you couldn't give a fuck less and if this made heeseung miserable then you had every reason not to care " why should I care on fact I actually don't mind going back ou " jungwon grabed your hand pinning you on the wall wtf is it with everyone pinning you on the wall " look I know heeseung hyung did fucked up shit and I know it's fucked up we didn't do anything but we all grow from our mistakes and plus now your like hot so please just shut the fuck up and well stay in here

————————————————————-

/the next day after all that//

You got home after sometime of being stuck with jungwon you were honestly so feed up with everthing at that point but being stuck with jungwon wasn’t too bad you got to knwo him actually as a person and the way he talked about heeseung made you actually see there is a diffrent side to heeseung getting lost in your thoughts you didn’t know that chu was talking to you “oh sorry chu I just have a lot on my mind rn” she looked at you with a smirk confused you looked at her “I bet you are having a lot on you mind scince you slept with Sunghoon “ afraid someone would hear you covers her mouth “chu first of all we did not sleep together second of all please don’t say that” you wind to her “okay oaky I’m sorry “ she wisperd “ but if you guys didn’t fuck what did you do “ obviously her not buying it “well I mean we actually just watched a movie “ chu was in disbelief “you telling me you spent that night at his house and didn’t fuck!” “Omg shut up chu “everyone now staring at you and her apologizing “speak of the devil” you turned around confused at chu it was heeseung jake and sunoo sunoo smiled happyily at you giving you a hug sunoo was normally like this even when people were rude to you he made really nice gestures making you at least happy one person back then didn’t totally hate you “hi y/nnieeee” avoiding heeseungs contact a bit embarrassed from What hapoend the last time you guys spoke “didn’t know you had a nickname other than doll y/n “ sunoo smacked his shoulder “cmon now hyung don’t be a dick”sunoo said defending you “what ever “ heeseung said walking away sunoo being left behind “oh btw y/n I was wondering if I could get your help with something “ nodding at him curios to what he could need your help with “I know you and heeseung aren’t best of buds but cause you help me plan his birthday par-“ you stopped him “hell no sunoo” “why not th-“ you get it that sunoos action didn’t mean to hurt you but why would you do anything to help him “please y/nnie “ sunoo made it so hard to say no “your lucky your pretty “ sunoo smiled happily “okay well I’m his party is next week and all of the boys are pitching in and I need your help with decorations “ nodding but you didn’t want heeseung to know you helped cause that would cause problems “sunoo just don’t tell heeseung I’m helping you plan this “ nodding and not questiong you “oh and chu would you mind going with Jake the day of to get drinks “ you could see chus eyes light up in mention of jake “ofc!” Sunoo thanked you guys and had left

//2 days later//

“Okay sunoo so we have all the Ballons ordered and the banners nikis and jungwon and gonna pick up the cakes Sunghoon sunoo getting all the food so we’re set “ being so tired staying up late at night to plan more things for heeseungs party even tho as much as you hated him you still put a lot of time in this for no reason you couldn’t exactly pin point why you were putting so much thought in it being worried he wouldn’t be happy with it…. anyways back to sunoo “yes everything looks perfect !” Being happy everything was set in place for Saturday “wait y/n have you chosen your outfit yet “ omg after picking out everything and setting it all up for heeseungs party you completely forgot to buy and outfit with only 1 day left before the party “oh shit” sunoo being confused “what’s wrong?omg you didn’t chose one out yet did you” you shook your head “okay well you should have some time tommorw right I can go shopping with you” you thanked that sunoo even reminded you or it would have been so bad “your a life savor sunoo ilysm “

//The next day//

Sunoo arrived at the mall but not alone he came with sunghoon you hadn’t talk scince that day so you too were a bit awkward sunghoon just standing there as sunoo ran up to hug you “sunghoon hyung are you broken” laughing a bit at what sunoo had said “what no” sunghoon being defensive you ended up greeting him by just waving as he waved back “okay!let’s go shopping “

You guys had gon into a dress store to find a dress for the party you wanted somthing simple not to much it still being a little awkward beetween you and sunghoon but you guys lightens the mood by just saying some jokes sunoo had handed you a dress scince you weren’t liking any that you chose and sunoo really had an eye for clothes showing them the white dress sunoo had chosen for you his and sunghoon mouth hanging open “y/n I think you broke sunghoon” you both started laughing as sunghoon was a bit embarrassed but you knew that this was the dress you were gonna chose

//DAY OF PARTTYYYYY//

After you and sunoo had spent all night and the morning of the party decorating at jakes house you finally had to go home and change tha fully the party was supposed to be a Suprise so you didn’t have to worry about heeseung seeing you…”hey y/n “ nudging you head at chu “what up “ she seemed like she was being held back by the question “e-even tho heeseung bullied you and none of his freinds did anything to stop him why are you still nice to them “ you yourself didn’t fully understand but as much as you say you hated heeseung you really well didn’t how could you hate him from the moment you saw him in middle school till now you could never get over his Bambi like eyes and you’ll never forget the first encounter you had with him either heeseung was super nice the first time you had met him he had accidently number into you the first day of 6th grade helping you pick up everything and apologizing but reassuring him that it was okay every year from that money on you guys always had the same class but 6th grade heeseung was much diffrent then heeseung now “I’m not really sure chu but I know that I don’t hate them and I can’t really blame the boys either at times they would tell heeseung he was doing to much or that it was enough and I thanked them for that it was never there fault “ nodding chus head understating you now and feeling simpathy for you “but chu that’s not important right now cause we’re gonna go party!”

//at the party //

Beomgyu had driven all of you to the party you walked in thrue the door and you were so proud of the decorations and that everyone loved them “holy shit y/n “ beomgyu said “I need you to be my party planner cause damn “ giggling you made your way to find the rest of the boys leaving you freind for a bit instead you ran into heeseung you rolled your eyes as he starred at you “cmon doll you can’t be rude to the birthday boy “ he walked closer to you “what ever happy birthday tho ig “ he just nodded surprised you said happy birthday to him at all jake and sunoo seeing you and going up to you and heeseung “y/nnieee!!” You hugged sunoo and Jake “do want a drink y/n? Chu got a pack of beer that you like” you nodded pushing thrue the crowed to go get a drink getting déjà vu as you saw sunghoon agian in the same place as last time “oh hey y/n” Sunghoon seeming a bit tipsy already “hey hoon are you drunk?” He shook his head “no not drunk but what ever you do do not drink jays punch” “noted” you said as you guys laughed he passed you a beer as “are you enjoying the party so far” he asked you saying it to you ear as the music was too loud nodding to him “do you wanna go dance?” You asked him being a flustered but agreeing as you two were dancing you had made eye contact with heeseung but he didn’t look away you were in a trans you didn’t even realize sunghoon was talking to you till you felt him pat hour back “hey are you okay?” He asked a bit concerned “yeah I’m good “you said as you look back to heeseungs spot as he smirked and left with a girl sunghoon noticed and looked in the same direction “don’t worry about heeseung “ he told you “I’m not dont worry” you saw him smile as you to continued dancing

//later in the party//

You saw heeseung with a girl making out you were staring so hard you were sure they’d be able to feel u you “yo y/n “Jake was talking to you now “you seem a bit to munch into heeseung making out with other girls “slaping jake for making that remark as he laughed “shut up Jake “ you rolled your eyes beomgyu laughing at his joke “ you two are so immature “ soobin added “I can’t belive you choosing sides “ “Jake hee not choosing sides he just has a brain” now you were laughing but still going back to heeseung every now n then but this time was different heeseung made eye contact with you and you had gotten flustered going outside on the balcony for some fresh air you were two into you thoughts you didn’t know heeseung standing behind you “you know y/n if you wanted to keep watching you should have tooken a picture “ being scared as he talked in you ear grabbing you wait being flustered at his comment and his gestures “what’s wrong doll you always have so much to say “ you turned around just to be caged into him “heeseung go away “ he tilted his head “why you don’t like this “ he came close to you neck sucking on your skin moving your neck to let him have more access but you knew it was wrong “no I’m not gonna be one of your quick fuckes “ you said as you pushed him back you could tell he was a bit drunk “why cause I’m not sunghoon? Are you now to good for anyone” you were a bit confused on why that even mattered “yk what heeseung you seem a bit drunk so I’m just gonna g-“ he grabed your arm and tugged you back the drink he had placed before down before he had it in his other hand but it got on your dress he himself was a bit upset he had gotten it on you dress and by now you were furios “why do you hate me so much! What have I ever done to you for you to hate me you can’t just fuck with my feelings heeseung” he was taken aback by your question “yk heeseung Even after all the times you hurt me I never hated you but you always hated me and still do I don’t know what I did but I don’t think I even deserve this “ tears coming in your eyes now he could see them even tho it was dark he get bad now “y/n I-“ “no heeseung save it I’m done with you bull shit have a nice night happy fucking birthday lee” and with that you stumbled and ran out the door realizing soobin was the one who had driven you so you had to walk home now.

//back in the party //

Part three will be out quickly I just couldn’t write on this page anymore for some reason tha my oh for waiting !!

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

you ain't woman enough

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : some crazy diehard fan claims to steal your man, of course- you won't let that happen

Word Count : not too long, I hope

Warnings : 18+ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, reader and Eddie are both (25) also they're MARRIED to each other, no use of y/n, Gareth is (18), Jeff is (20) mentions of a fan having self-harm history, the lunatic fan (I named her Delancy, she's 18) can be very invasive, disrespectful, delusional and too obsessed with Eddie, alcohol consumption, mentions of pregnancy at the end, I think that's just it tho

What to Expect : angst and fluff teehee

Note To Reader : guys, you're not going to believe this because my fever just bounced back again making me suffer once more 💀 (but I'm good right now don't worry)

Author Note : LOVE LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH- OF COURSE YOU KNOW I'VE HAD TO MAKE A FIC WITH IT ;)) (idk if I feel satisfied about this fic but here it goes)

You and Eddie have been together for ages

A bit dramatic, isn't it?

But no, seriously, it's like you spend a lifetime every minute, hour and seconds being with him

Since high school, Eddie thought it's cruel joke when you talked to him for the first time

He had a bit of time to grow on you back then, but when you finally get to know him when he unsheds his layers of showing the tough act to people at school

He is actually very sweet

That's where it all took off

You're always been there

The Hellfire Club campaigns, The Hideout sessions, the best part is that you we're also there when he got his long-awaited diploma

Wayne loves you, gosh, Eddie can still vividly remember the teasing moments that make him so freaking embarrassed when it revealed that Eddie has a crush on you

It's the most silliest confession that you both shared to each other, giggling at the same time

It's also wholesome in a way that you feel like yourself when you're with him than you're own

That's says something

You watch him grew to become one of the highest paid rock bands all of time, Corroded Coffin

Back in graduation in college, he said that he'll marry you and you'll be on his side while he's touring around the world

The words you told him never left his mind

"Always keep your dreams alive, Ed's"

You both love metal music, films, obviously certified nerds, always excited when you're both talking about your favorites

I mean- what's not to love?

"You're ready? sweetheart?"

"Yeah"

You gave him 360° turn to your full ensemble for the tonight's show

Oh, he was stunned at it, he takes a minute to process

"Well?"

"You look fantastic- I mean- hot, super super hot"

You snort "Okay, let's go rockstar"

You've prepared yourself for this since the beginning, the moment that Eddie got himself big time at a record label

You know what you're in for

You're ready to face it all, the tabloids, loads of paparazzi everywhere, awestruck fans that recognize the both of you walking in the streets of L.A

You also know once you entered this business, there's no longer privacy that you knew before

The fandom that Eddie has is like a freaking movement almost like an activist, every false lies, rumors, gossips, they defend him with his bandmates

You adore them, really, grateful for it

The head of the official fanbase of Corroded Coffin is really nice and respects everyone of you, even treat you like normal human beings

They organized parties when it's time for an occasion like Corroded Coffin won a Grammy, New Year's, when someone in the band has a birthday, it's really great

Sometimes, you wish every fan is just like that, or sometimes even not a fan, you wished they'll treat you kindly

While eating lunch with Eddie at a local diner downtown

"You know, there's a young girl keeps looking at our spot for like 30 mins now" Eddie is wearing Ray-Ban black sunglasses as he quietly speaks as he takes a sip of his coffee

You had a mouth full of philly cheesesteak as you turned around to find what your husband is referring to

There, you spot her, when you catch her eyes, she simply look away shyly

You hum as you shrug "It looks like she wants to say something"

"Oh, boy, here she comes"

Before you can react to what he just said, she's now standing to where you both seated but she gave a distance for personal space that leaves an impression to the both of you

Eddie caught a glimpse of the young girl's wrist with marks of healed pocks, you saw it too, he watches her intently but when he saw how genuine her eyes are, he knows this isn't some weird fanatic

You cleared your throat as you smile at the young girl

"Uh- hi, I'm so very sorry, if I made you both uncomfortable but I- I just want to express my gratitude, your songs really helped me a lot and ever since I stopped doing it for 5 years already and I feel a whole lot better and uh- your love story has always been my favorite- it's very inspiring and I've always been looking up to the both of you and uh- yeah thanks for everything" she leaves at that

the young girl went on and on with her slightly ducked down too shy to even look at the both of your eyes

"That's really sweet" you say with twinkling eyes as you kept your eyes on the young girl

"Wow, see- this is why I'm doing this! I will keep on making music when something like that happens! I can help people!" He beams exhilaratingly with a smile

"Eddie, haven't you realized you've been doing this since highschool?" You hold his hand across the table

"Yes, I know and I will do what I do best" he winks and you by that look

You know he's gonna make this interaction memorable

"Hey, kid"

The young girl almost can't believe the Eddie Munson called her out

"We appreciate you so much" he says as he picked the whole new latest album from his bag

Young girl is appalled, felt weak on the knees almost, you giggled at her reaction

To make everything go insane, he even signed the album cover

You hand it out to her "We're so proud of you"

She takes it with shaky hands as she laughs "I-I'm sorry, I'm freaking out inside, thank you so very much"

"You'll be the first person to hear it"

"I'll listen to it once I get home, I will never forget this day in my life!"

You and Eddie both chuckled "Treasure it, sweetie! You deserve it!"

"I love you both so much, you have absolutely no idea! um- I'll be attending your show this coming Saturday" you shyly added with a grin

You squealed as you look at Eddie with excitement, he took his glasses off

"That's very metal, dear" he makes a rock n roll sign as the kid does the same time, both shared laughs

You watched the kid happily as she runs over to her parents with the album in hand as they become starstrucked when they saw both of you, waving at their daughter

You sigh in content "Isn't that just awesome?!?" You slam your hands on the table feeling giddy

Eddie throws his head back in laughter as his mind replays the endearing interaction earlier

"My manager is going to kill me after this"

"Oh, yeah right- you weren't supposed to reveal your latest album yet"

"I doubt it she'll not spread it to everyone"

"I'll drink to that"

Turns out, both of your guts we're right, the young girl didn't leaked the whole ass album for the whole world to hear

The tour was going fantastic, the crowd roars, screams, cheers everyone is going nuts once the band came out the stage

The after-party is your favorite part when the set is done, it's just you, Eddie, Jeff and Gareth hanging out

It's like old times, the difference is that all of you are a part of public figures now

But, no, never once or anyone of you let that get into your head, you don't want to believe or let yourself be aware of that "I'm a celebrity and you're nothing" type of shit, all of you remained humble since day one

No wonder why people adored you so much

Jeff finished his degree last year, now he's got himself a babe beside him, Gareth only have 2 years left at his college

He is so sick of it already, but he won't stop until he finally graduated

"Now, I get it why- Eddie feels so fucking drained after college" Gareth groans as he sats down next to you

"But my tutoring while on the tour bus helped, right?" You gave him an sympathetic smile

He smiles tiredly "Yeah, I'm just so exhausted but I'm almost there"

"That's the spirit!"

"Man, I don't know how you do it, are you getting enough sleep?" Jeff chimes in as he drinks his beer as he awaits for his friend to answer

"I don't even remember when's the last time I got a good night's sleep"

"Your time has run out" a voice rudely interrupted your conversation

You, Jeff, Gareth turn around at the girl who is standing closer to you

Jeff and Gareth shared confusion looks to each other

"Excuse me?" You say as look at her directly

"I said he's done with you"

"Who?"

"Eddie"

Jeff makes a face and Gareth is unamused, offended by it

You tried your best to be polite as you wave your hand in front of her dismissively, maybe it's just some girl who mistakenly thought you're someone that she knew

"He doesn't love you anymore"

Who is this person? You think to yourself

You laugh incredulously as you lean forward, Jeff and Gareth looked at you and thinks why you're aren't doing anything to be mean just for once

They're watching the nicest argument ever

"You have to let him go" she says as she crossed both of her arms

"Why would I do that?"

"So, I can take him"

You, Jeff and Gareth looked at each other with knowing looks as you tried to keep your composure stable

The bartender is clearly knows what the fuck is going on and couldn't help but to bite back a laughter as well

"Ooh- okay, hot shot- gimme a sec" you say with a mockery on your voice as you bit your lip to stop bursting to any second

You kick Jeff and elbowed Gareth to stop them from snickering

"Hey, Francis" you paid for the tabs, you treat the guys for the drink tonight

"You didn't have to-"

"I insist, you always gave me fine drinks and you never let me pay? Come on- take it"

The older man smiles and sighs and muttered a small thank you

All of you go down to your rotating circle chairs, but before you left her, you twirl around with a teasing smile

She became annoyed at you, you didn't even know what the hell she's annoyed at you for

"Sorry to burst your bubble, you can't do that"

"What makes you think that I can't?" She snaps and it makes you amused

Jeff and Gareth make a teasing "Oooh's" as you flipped the guys off behind your back

"Because-" you looked at her from top to bottom

She really wasted her beauty for pulling a stunt like this?

"You aren't there yet"

You know, she ain't gonna understand that phrase because she's young, you didn't even bother to explain what it means so you turn heel and left her at it

You wiggle your fingers at her as you wave goodbye and she watches the three you finally booming the streets with the loud cackles

At the backstage, 10 mins left before the show starts

"Eddie! Stand still!" You say as you fix his outfit

"I've been performing for years and I still get nervous" he says with a unsure smile

"That's totally normal, Eddie, once you get out of there and feel all of the people energy and literally once you start singing? You'd be great like you always do" you say as you finish doing touch ups to his look

He didn't replied, he instead hugged you

"Oh" you got startled at his sudden action but you melt with it

"Thank you, sweetheart"

"Anytime, Ed's"

A frequent knock is going on the door, almost breaking it, he swung it open- he got cutt off by someone

"Alright, alright! I'll be there-"

"Where have you been?!? I've looked for you everywhere!"

"What-"

"Didn't you missed me?!?"

You lean onto your side of the doorframe with arms crossed as Eddie looked at you for help almost like he's saying "Do you have any idea who is this person?!?"

The young lady who you encountered last night meet your eyes, you swore you saw the fire ignited once you came into the frame

"What is she doing here?!?"

Eddie is so perplexed as he continues to look at the random girl and you just smirk to yourself

She reached for Eddie's hand as he became so stunned at her action and you raised both of your eyebrows at her boldness

The audacity of this person is wild

"Honey? Care to explain, please?" Eddie is obviously trying to let go of the grip that she's holding onto him

"Oh, I just met her last night and how rude of me not knowing your name- if you even had one" you sarcastically speak up, it's very comedic to watch her face crumpled up to your smugness

"It's Delancy"

"Yeah, right- Delancy!" You act like it was the most interesting information ever

Eddie is watching you with a wolfish grin, he finally understood it

"I'm here to support my boyfriend" she lOviNgLy looks up at Eddie, the situation doesn't even get worse from there as he looks at you through his bangs as he purses his lips together

"Sweetie, before you can get to him, I'll have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here"

"You can't!"

"It will be over my dead body"

Eddie finally got away from the hold as he looks at her with fake sympathetic smile with a pout as he throws both of his hands in defense

You glanced at the corner and saw the security guards probably looking for her

You lean closer as you say "So, get out while you can" you nudge your chin towards the guards and she panic as she runs away

"Oh my fucking god" Jeff jogs as he tries to catch up his breath

"Give me a minute" Gareth holds up a finger as he pants

"So, she's the girl that you little shitheads talking about, huh?"

Both of the young men nod as they chuckled slightly

"Can't believe she got herself inside" you scoff as you shake your head

"Hmm, maybe there's a way to end this ridiculousness" Eddie smirks as all of you looked at him in confusion

The show is exhilaratingly amazing, Eddie called out for you, is this his plan?

You shyly get up on the stage as the crowd cheers for your name

Once you walked closer to Eddie he pulled you in for a kiss

You're surprised but managed to recover as you wrap your arms around him as you kiss him back

Jeff whistles as Gareth clapped aggressively

The whole crowd screamed harder as Eddie pulled you closer more to him as if that were possible, you became flustered as you break the kiss from running out of breath but Eddie?!? Kept stealing kisses as you giggled

"My beautiful wife everybody!" Eddie announces in the microphone not caring if your lipstick is all over his face

"Thank you guys for the insane night! We love you! We appreciate all of your support! Take care and we'll see you soon! Keep on rockin'!" Eddie left with that as Jeff and Gareth came onto your side as they join you for a bow before all of you waved goodbye and exit the stage

The interview is happening in the morning after the last night's show

"Have you heard about the rumor? There's basically a young girl claiming your husband, Eddie, to be as her boyfriend? What is your comment about this?"

Gareth chimes in with a smirk on his face as he leans over to steal a moment in the camera "No comment" he says as Eddie, Jeff snickered as you chuckled as well

"Yeah, I did, I even interacted with her- she seems....interesting"

"Interesting for a therapy" Jeff adds as the three man crack up to his joke

"She even said that Eddie looked at her at the concert last evening" the interviewer spoke up as you can watch Eddie genuinely reacted to this

"Oh my god" Eddie rubs his face as he hides his face buried on his palms as he tries not to laugh

"Well, a man looks at things sometimes that he doesn't need, I think she's referring to what happened at the backstage-"

"I took a second look-" Eddie narrows his eyes at you

"But he's in love with me" you point to yourself ignoring your cheeks blush

"Exactly" Eddie grins as you held his hand

"She even said that the kiss that happened was a fake"

"I don't know where that leaves her" you shrug at the interviewer

"You know where you stand"

You chortled at the interviewer's remark, knowing that this will even more pissed her off

"Precisely, I know where I stand" you agree as you nod

"And there you have it, folks, The Corroded Coffin, it's such a delight to finally to get to talk to you all and the man of the hour, Eddie Munson with his wife, Jeff and Gareth the icons behind the band, Thank you for tuning in!" The interviewer wraps it all up

"Please, do invite your fans to come on over to your tours"

"it's our pleasure, to share our music around the world and all we wanna do is just inspire people" Eddie smiles at the camera while he always pulled you into his side, you love that he never fails to show you off

As the airing ends, Eddie whispers to your ear

"Let's make her even more furious" Eddie bites his lips as he could think for a conniving idea

You snorted at him with a playful smile

"Telling to everyone that you're having a baby" he winks

"Eddie!" You push him playfully on the chest but he laughs as he carries you and spins around at the studio

But he ain't wrong with that, you'll even consider it later ;))

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 3: sketch 1

ed note from the future: this got long. its going mostly under a readmore for everyone's sake. and i didnt even finish sketching, just trying to explain what is going through my mind while trying to sketch. look, if i write down my process in exhausting detail people will realize im completely insane. this is a net benefit to anyone trying to interact with me in the future who thinks i can be reasoned with. community service. thank you for allowing me to post this shit lol

hmmm. giving up on the first few panels for right now. here's what i'm thinking about as i sketch this:

too many of my panels were talking heads or constantly relied on one point perspective. i have been trying to work against this for a while with mixed results. sometimes the result is so bad i have to scrap what i did and start over but sometimes it's "good enough for TV"* and i hit publish on it. no risks, no reward after all. can't get better if you don't try.

in this first panel, i have two people having a back and forth conversation through a weird magic hole in the floor/wall. maxine is laying on a couch with hole right above her head. homestar runner will demonstrate what i mean:

however, there are logistical problems with maxine that homestar runner doesnt have. maxine's right shoulder is dislocated, so she can't lay on that side, or any side that would put pressure on the joint. im realizing i don't actually know what position would be most comfortable in her situation or how she would instinctually arrange her body to avoid pain. i start looking up videos from physical therapists on how they recommend patients sleep for some ideas.

also i start looking up what women look like sleeping on couches. how does the human body fold up. because this isn't it.

anyway, this was my first effort with the first panels.

for reference, the last page ends like this:

the top left of the sketch would have been the hopi clown back on the shelf with the "camera" tilting above it to reveal maxine. while this keeps the relevant object from the previous page in frame as a piece of connective tissue between updates....i'm struggling to fit the second character in. the one talking from the hole. maybe there's still hope for this? it's not terrible. initially i nuked it but maybe i can make this work.

fuck! she needs a pillow or two to make this work. this video is right, that DOES look naturally comfortable compared to the standard fetal position that would pull the affected shoulder inward. i didn't draw any pillows into the stupid establishing shot of the office bc its not the kind of couch you are expected to sleep on!!! this is a man's business office!!! i thought i was so smart!!

basically every couch comes with decorative pillows though, and the shot of the room didn't include the wall the "camera" was up against. my 2-point perspective failure might have paid off here lol. if i can establish that the second character is talking through the hole, he can use his rayman hands to reach across the room and get the pillow for her. it can be part of his personal campaign to show maxine he means her no immediate harm. the pillows were just out of frame. lurking. ok let's try it again. uhhhh after i eat some lunch

---

*my friend kelly had an anecdote from working in animation that im going to retell badly from memory. her boss would take the work she labored over to meet by deadline and would laugh at it, saying "ah, its terrible! but good enough for TV". and while extremely mean, he had a salient point: it never has to be perfect. it just needs to be good enough to be seen. sometimes i seriously think about this anecdote when im dissatisfied with my own art. it's bad. but it's good enough for tv.

[eldritchdiplomacy]

Bottom Table OT3: The Playlist

We, like Jinnah, will mourn our lads forever

(click for song explanations!)

Take Me Out To The Ball Game - Ed Meeker

"Eldritch Harrahs," He says, fingering the bright red laces on a baseball like a rosary

Team - Lorde

Classic poly theme, living in ruins.

"And everyone's competing For a love they won't receive 'Cause what this palace wants is release."

Ravenous - Autumn Orange

Impeccible vibes.

Eat Your Young - Hozier

Post-war heroes left in slums with their ghosts

"Come and get some Skinnin' the children for a war drum Puttin' food on the table, sellin' bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young"

Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac

A shiny jade jewel in said slums

"She rings like a bell through the night And wouldn't you love to love her? She rules her life like a bird in flight And who will be her lover?"

Boats & Birds - Gregory & The Hawk

Children without souls

"If you'll be my boat, I'll be your sea A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze I live to make you free, I live to make you free…"

Hearts a Mess - Gotye

Sean Fucking Finnerty

"You have lost too much love To fear, doubt and distrust, it's not enough You just threw away the key to your heart Don't get burned 'cause nothing gets through It makes it easier, easier on you That much more difficult for me To make you see."

Love In The Time Of Socialism - Yellow House

Teenagers all in love with each other

"But I am home wherever you are near There's no life in anything When you're not here."

Whatever Fits Together - Skullcrusher

I mean…

"Do you ever look back? Does it all fit together? If we're here, does it matter? (If we're here, does it matter?)"

Marked For Death - Emma Ruth Rundle

Marion & Jean

"Who else is going to love someone like me that’s marked for death? Who else is going to be with me when I breathe it all?"

Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists

Marion & Sean

"And here I dreamt I was a soldier And I marched the streets of Birkenau And I recall in spring The perfume that the air would bring To the indolent town Where the barkers call the moon down The carnival was ringing loudly now And just to lay with you There's nothing that I wouldn't do Save lay my rifle down"

Hard Times - Ethel Cain

The Exorcists' Daughter

"Tell me a story About how it ends Where you're still the good guy I'll make pretend 'Cause I hate this story Where happiness ends And dies with you."

Edith's Theme - Crimson Peak

The Lighthouse

Say Yes To Heaven - Lana Del Rey

Sean & Jean

"If you go, I'll stay You come back, I'll be right here Like a barge at sea In the storm, I stay clear 'Cause I've got my mind on you I've got my mind on you…"

Sunlight - Hozier

Sean & Jean & Marion

"All the tales the same Told before and told again A soul that’s born in cold and rain Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight And, at last, can grant a name To a buried and a burning flame As love and its decisive pain Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight."

Your Protector - Fleet Foxes

The Circle of Needle & Thread

"As you lay to die beside me, baby On the morning that you came Would you wait for me? The other one would wait for me."

The Mother Road - Chelsea Wolfe

The doc who knows she'll never lead a normal life, have a normal love.

"I do not have a child But I'm old enough to know some pain And I'm hell-bent on loving you Women know what it is to endure."

Running Up That Hill - Placebo

All too stubborn to let each other die.

"Oh, come on, baby Oh, come on, darlin' Let me steal this moment from you now Oh, come on, angel Come on, come on, darlin' Let's exchange the experience…"

A Vampire's Heart - Peter Gundry

Doplegangers

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

Jean, Sean, & Marion

"I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map And knew that somehow I could find my way back Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you…"

Oh, To Dream Of Such Eldritch Things - Autumn Orange

The Compromised Lightkeeper

A Shot Rang Out - Emily Jane White

Sean FUCKING Finnerty, Marion, Jean

"Dreamers we aren't few But I don’t want to bury my dreams with you."

The Ghost On The Shore - Lord Huron

Man down

"Die if I must, let my bones turn to dust I'm the lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it…"

Call Your Mom - Noah Kahan

You can't do this to Peggy, bud.

"Medicate, meditate, save your soul for Jesus Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason Don't wanna drive another mile without knowin' you're breathin' So won't you stay, won't you stay, won't you stay with me?"

Funeral - Phoebe Bridgers

War boys wearing the same face, so many hearts.

"And last night, I blacked out in my car And I woke up in my childhood bed Wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself When I remembered someone's kid is dead…"

Francesca - Hozier

Jean & Marion re: Sean

"Now that it's done There's not one thing that I would change My life was a storm since I was born How could I fear any hurricane?"

Is Your Love Strong Enough? - GWTDT

"Just one beat of your heart And stranger than fantasy I knew from the start It had to be the place for me Someone that I would die for There's no way I could ever leave."

Death With Dignity - Sufjan Stevens

The Survivor

"Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you And I don't know where to begin And I don't know where to begin…"

My Love - Florence + The Machine

The Next Step

"My arms emptied, the skies emptied The buildings emptied…"

[nortism]

doctor who liveblog pt 22

s4 ep10 midnight

- i’m glad donna’s getting a nice holiday

- COLIN MORGAN OF BBC MERLIN FAME??! katie mcgrath next pls

- “ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon”

- ROSE ON THE TVVVVVVV

- oh god was she possessed

- FUCK SHES REPEATING LIKE THE THING OUTSIDE

- SHE GOT HIS VOICE

- that was such a good episode, genuinely unsettling

s4 ep11 turn left

- omg are we in a country that’s not the uk?? i didn’t know the tardis knew how to do that 😭😭

- oh never mind they’re on a different planet, should have known

- and billie piper!!

- oh the doctor’s dead

- get the screwdriver donna!!

- ROSE TYLER!!!!!!!!!!

- oh she’s vanished

- donna’s so funny

- NO MARTHA’S DEAD this sucks

- SARAH JANE SMITH’S DEAD?!?! this au is awful

- ROSE

- i love donna’s grandad so much it’s not even funny

- london’s gone??? thank god the world is free!

- not leeds

- uh oh america

- ROSE

- oh fuck jack as well

- oh great, now the uk is turning into nazi germany

- that’s a big old bug

- rip alternate universe donna

- BAD WOLF?!?!?!!????

- shitttttt

s4 ep12 the stolen earth

- oh fucj the earth’s gone

- MARTHA

- ohh fuck the companions r all gonna come together

- ROSE WITH A GIANT GUN WOOOO

- oh yeah the whole gang in the opening credits

- oh great we’re gonna find out what a shadow proclamation is

- ofc the british are celebrating the end of the world by drinking and rioting

- ofc it’s the fucking daleks

- i feel like there was easy ways to exterminate the human race i won’t lie

- the crucible?? always with the religious imagery

- idk if i trust the space cops

- not the rhinos again

- ohhhh they’re building a mega planet

- for what it’s worth, i trust martha to save the world. she’s done it before

- NO MARTHA

- the loss that is yet to come???

- also which god??

- BEES ARE ALIENS?!?!

- i knew i couldn’t trust the space cops

- ROSE

- when he was a 90 year old teenage girl

- HARRIET JONES MY LOVE

- yay martha’s alive

- aww rose is jealous

- is everyone here a jones?

- HARRIET NOOOOOO

- he’s still thinking about rose 😭😭

- jfc what is that

- ewww

- FUCKING DALEKS RUINING MY REUNION

- oh my polycule did reunite, just under the worst circumstances possible

- FUCK HES REGENERATING ALREADY

- noooo sarah jane

- whatttt

s4 ep13 journey’s end

- did he just regenerate back into david tennant???

- MICKEYYYYYYYYY

- JACKIEEEEEEEE

- oh the whole gang is back together i missed them 😭😭😭

- oh donna i love u

- they gotta stop leaving the tardis lying around!!!

- that’s nice of the daleks to translate for different countries

- that’s a lotta daleks

- donna?!!

- DONNA?!?!!??

- hello is donna regenerating?!?!

- ITS ANOTHER DOCTOR?!?!?

- dw rose this is just an avg day for jack

- nah is the new doctor technically donna and the doctor’s child???

- pls leave my girl and her mummy issues alone

- oh they’re soulmates

- when did martha learn german??

- oh yeah on her world tour

- it would be cool if they subtitled the german bc i’m getting none of this

- not loving the sound of a reality bomb

- omg they’re disintegrating

- oh so we’re destroying all matter now???

- won’t this also destroy the daleks??

- apparently not

- SHES GONNA BLOW UP THE EARTH

- oh fuck the whole gang’s been teleported

- it’s up to u now donna

- uh oh rip the other doctor

- uh oh rip donna

- this is a bit awkward

- YES FHEN DONNA

- the doctordonna

- SHES PART TIMELORD?!

- they oppenheimer-ed him

- K9!!!

- finally an explanation for why he sucks a flying the tardis so much, he needs more guys

- he’s got the biggest family on earth 😭😭

- she’s getting her own doctor?!

- aww she got her kiss?? i think aww?! this is a weird situation all round

- oh no donna’s malfunctioning

- wait what

- is she fucking dead

- HER MIND’S BEEN WIPED!!?!?!

- awww she’s forgotten him

- this is so sad

- aww granddad

- jesus that was bleak

[pleasinghellfire]

Old Faces

Request: An Eddie x reader fic in which he lives OBVIOUSLY and they go back years later for a high school reunion with the Helfire Club?

A/N: In this world, the upside down and Vecna exist but Chrissy and Jason do survive. I don’t mention it but Eddie still loves DnD and plays it time to time when he gets the chance.

“Do we really have to come back here?” Eddie groaned as you dragged him through the familiar halls of Hawkins High towards the gymnasium. It's been ten years since darkness took over this once quiet town and Hawkins was finally back to normal. No one had to worry about flickering lights or a dark shadow in the sky. It was over.

“Nancy told me she and Steve would be here. It’s great timing since Hawkins is a pit stop. Come on.” You pulled on Eddie’s dead weight arm as he whined and wrapped his arms around you.

“Hey,” You lifted Eddie’s chin so he could look you in the eyes. “I remember but that was years ago. Look at how far you’ve come. ‘Eddie the Freak’ got that diploma, ran like hell out of here and made a name for himself. We don’t have to do this, I just wanted to say hi to our friends while the bus fueled up. We can go back to the station or we can walk through those doors and show everyone who Eddie Munson is now.”

Eddie looked between you, the gymnasium doors to his left and down the hall to his right as he contemplated his opinions. “Ten minutes.” Eddie gave in. “We say hi to Steve and we are out.”

You kissed his cheek and smiled. “Ten minutes and out.”

You pushed through the doors to see your old classmates sitting in their own individual crowds scattered across the stands as the sound of everyone’s conversations bounced off the walls. The same championship banner from 1986 still hung high in the center behind the basketball goal alongside multiple tiger spirit posters. There was a table to the left full of drinks and small snacks for everyone to enjoy.

“Oh my Eds, look.” You pointed towards the table. “There’s Nance. Aww, her baby bump got so much bigger. Let’s go.”

You dragged Eddie towards Nancy who was nibbling at the cookies. Eddie started to tune the two of you out as the conversation started about Nancy pregnancy cravings and other women's bodily functions he had no idea about. Taking a look around he caught sight of his old Hellfire Club members waving him over.

“Wow, Eddie Munson. We thought you were too famous to ever walk back through these doors.” Eddie laughed as he hugged Garrett.

“Munson, you clean up nice. Never thought I’d see the day where you didn’t have long hair but glad to see you still rocking the old hellfire shirt and vest.” Jeff greeted.

“Yeah,” Eddie muttered looking down at his attire. “My girl insisted I wear this tonight. You know how it is, always gotta do what your lady wants.”

Eddie was so lost in conversation catching up with his old friends that he missed that ten minute mark. Ten minutes turned to twenty which turned into almost half an hour but he didn’t mind. He was amazed to see how much everyone has grown since graduation. It felt like no time was lost and everyone fell into a comfortable conversation laughing among each other.

“Well would you look at that, the freak is still around.” The conversation died as Jason Carver walked up. Even all these years later, he still wore his Hawkins letterman jacket.

“Goddammit, here we go again.” Eddie cracked his neck before he turned around to face Jason. “What do you want?”

“What are you doing here, freak? I thought we ran you out of town back in 86’.” Jason tried to seem all intimidating as he puffed his chest out stepping up to Eddie but it only made Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire club snicker in laughter.

“Yeah thanks for that man. I’m living the life now. (Y/N) wanted to stop by for a second while we were on the road.”

“(Y/N)?” Jason turned around, looking at you as you were smiling up at Nancy with your hand on her bump trying to feel for any baby kicks. “Huh, I expected more from her than to stay a freak just like you.”

Eddie grabbed Jason’s letterman, pulling Jason’s attention away from you. “You better watch your mouth Carver.”

“Whatcha gonna do about it? Are you gonna get your satanic cult on me again?” Jason lashed out.

“Hey!” The two boys turned as you walked up, stepping in front of Eddie. “Jason, still a pain in the ass all these years later huh? Nice to see you’re still stuck in this dump holding on to your teenage years.”

“Yeah? I bet the two of you went out spreading that cult demon shit all over the city.”

“Yeah, this city and the next one and the next one because while you peaked in 86’ and stayed stuck here, Eddie made a name for himself as Corroded Coffin opens for Metallica every night. And to top that off, unlike you, he has a hot girlfriend while you can’t get anyone since Chrissy dumped your sorry ass after we graduated.” You fired off.

Jason scuffed under his breath as he shook his head and walked away, leaving the gymnasium.

Eddie wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you in and connecting his lips to yours. Even after all these years of dating, a simple kiss still sent a shiver down your spine.

“Thank you for sticking up for me sweetheart.” Eddie whispered between kisses.

“Don’t mention it baby but we gotta go. Tour buses are full and we’re running late. Time to be Mr. Rockstar, lead man of Corroded Coffin.” You fake swooned making Eddie laugh.

You and Eddie bid a farewell to all your old friends before you stepped back into Eddie’s tour bus, leaving Hawkins once again behind.

[steddieas-shegoes]

this place is such great motivation for anyone trying to move the fuck away from hibernation

chapter 7: i will die in the house that i grew up in also on ao3 all chapters masterpost rated e

🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰

Neither of them got more than an hour of sleep.

Steve curled into his side, tried to hide his sniffling and silent crying, but wasn’t doing a great job. Eddie let his own tears fall silently as he tried to think of any possible way to make this work for them.

Mia woke up as usual for a bottle, but Steve wordlessly got up the moment he heard her whine on the baby monitor.

Eddie could get used to something like this.

He just couldn’t get used to it here.

- - - - - - - - -

The next morning, while Steve was in the shower, Eddie made coffee and oatmeal for them.

Robin was already standing at the counter with a cup of orange juice and a magazine.

She took one look at him and set both down on the counter.

“What happened?”

Steve should talk to her, not him. He wasn’t that close with Robin even before she left Hawkins. They hung out, of course, but never alone, and rarely even talked to each other outside of the group.

He couldn’t be the one to explain this to her.

“Maybe you should talk to Steve,” he suggested, focusing on his task so he wouldn’t break down in tears.

“You look like someone died. Did someone die? Oh my god, who died?” She started pacing behind him, her breathing getting louder and faster by the step. “Steve would’ve already been out here if it was one of the kids. It can’t be Hop, he would be devastated. You wouldn’t be able to be out here making coffee.”

“Robin, no one died,” Eddie said, pressing the start button on the coffeemaker.

“Then why are you miserable? Did he break up with you?” Now she sounded pissed. “I swear, how many times do I have to tell that idiot to just let himself be happy? He could have nice things if he just stopped questioning everything all the time. I don’t know what the hell he needs to believe it. A sign from God himself? He doesn’t even believe in God, never mind.”

“Robin.” Steve’s broken voice came from the kitchen doorway. They both turned to him at the same time, taking in his still-wet hair, his comfy clothes.

Robin ran to him, already opening her arms in comfort.

Eddie turned back to the cabinets in front of him, hoping it would be easy to find the oatmeal. He ignored the whispers coming from them, grateful when they finally left the kitchen area so he wouldn’t have to hear his name again.

Steve deserved to be able to talk this through with someone else.

But so did Eddie.

He checked the clock and saw that it was a decent enough time to call Wayne. Mia was still asleep, but probably wouldn’t be for much longer. He had to do it now or risk not doing it at all.

Wayne answered in two rings, probably busy making himself breakfast near the phone in the kitchen.

The moment Eddie heard his gruff voice say “Ed? That you?”, he broke down in tears.

“What’s happened? You need me to come get ya? Is Mia okay? Are you?”

“I can’t- Wayne, I can’t-“ He gasped, breaths painful and harsh as he started to realize that this really wasn’t gonna work.

“Hey, where’s Steve? You need to take a breath, son. Nice and slow like I showed ya.”

Eddie tried, but it hurt.

Hands were on his back and the phone was being pulled from his grip, but the tunnel vision kept him from properly seeing who it was. He would assume Steve, but if he was able to think clearly he would have registered Steve talking to Wayne in the distance and two hands still being on his shoulders a lot faster.

“Keep breathing in and out, Eddie. It’s okay. Everyone is safe. Steve’s talking to your uncle. Just keep breathing.”

Robin was the one touching him.

His eyes focused on her, immediately noticing the panic on her face.

“S-sorry,” he managed to get out.

“Hey, don’t apologize. Just breathe.”

Robin was pretty damn good at this. He thought about Steve telling him how she was the one who usually got him through panic attacks and nightmares, how she would hold him until he could remember he was human again, how she could talk him out of the worst feelings in the world.

She kept squeezing his shoulders and arms every few seconds, giving him a silent reminder to breathe in. She didn’t break eye contact with him, even though he knew it was sometimes hard for her to maintain it in regular conversation.

“Thanks, Robin. I got it from here,” Steve was taking her place in front of him, warm hands cupping his face. “Hey baby, think you can move to the couch?”

Eddie nodded and managed to stand up —when did he even actually end up sitting on the floor?— with Steve’s help.

The couch was a lot better than the floor, but only until he heard a small cry come from Mia’s room, and the panic started again. He started to get up, but Steve pushed him back down.

“I’ll get her. Will it help to hold her or make it worse?” Steve asked calmly, the hand on his shoulder a comforting weight.

“Help.”

Steve was up and out of the room quickly after that, and Eddie could faintly hear him talking to Mia, fake cheer in his voice as he said good morning to her.

He listened as Mia babbled incoherently and started saying ‘mama’ as they came out to sit in front of him.

“Give Daddy a big hug, just like I told you!” Steve held Mia out towards him and he pulled her close, hugging her against his chest. “I’ll get her breakfast ready.”

Steve seemed hesitant to actually go, but he managed to sneak away before Mia noticed.

Eddie let Mia babble at him, sounds that probably meant a lot to her, but just sounded like gibberish to him. He didn’t mind though, every sound was a reminder that she was here in his arms, safe, and he was safe, and they were gonna be fine.

They would have to be fine.

And they would have to be fine without Steve.

Somehow.

“Oh, princess, I dunno what to do,” he mumbled against the top of her head. She was too young to remember his crisis, so he let a few more tears fall as she kept babbling at him.

He heard footsteps coming back towards them and looked up to see Robin sitting down across from him.

“Hey,” she whispered. “I’ll handle her breakfast if you wanna go talk with Steve. He’s trying to do that thing where he’s big and strong and doesn’t need to cry, but we both know he’s on the edge of a breakdown and the only person who could handle it right now is you. I’m built for the after.”

Eddie let out a snort, picturing the way she probably had to be around for at least a few of Steve’s breakdowns, trying so hard to comfort him with words and hugs that just weren’t right. Steve was particular about how he received comfort, and even as well as Robin knew him, she just never quite got it right.

“Mia, you wanna hang out with Birdie? She’s pretty cool. Likes to talk a lot just like you,” Eddie winked at Robin. “And I bet she’ll even read you a story if you’re nice to her.”

Mia looked over at Robin, studying her in the way that babies always do with strangers.

She looked back at Eddie with the most serious face, let out the tiniest of sighs, and reached out for Robin.

Eddie relaxed as Robin took her, still clearly nervous and awkward, but trying her best.

“Let’s go! I hear you like bananas. Well, I’ve got the best bananas in the world in my kitchen waiting for you. I even cut them up so you can feed yourself. Apparently that’s something babies your age can do with finger foods. That’s so crazy to me. You’re barely even alive! Like you haven’t even been alive a year yet and you already figured out how to shove food in your mouth! That’s so cool.”

Eddie laughed as Robin’s voice faded, her nervous rambling probably entertaining Mia the more it went on.

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the couch behind him, already trying to think about what he and Steve could possibly do.

This was a shit situation all around.

“Hey,” Steve said from next to him, sinking down to join him on the floor. “Think we should probably try to figure some stuff out while Mia’s distracted.”

“Yeah, probably should.”

But he didn’t know where to begin, didn’t know where they’d end up, and hated that getting anywhere would involve them talking about things neither of them wanted.

“So you can’t live here,” Steve started, placing his hand on Eddie’s knee, a calming presence that Eddie needed more than anything else. “And I can’t live in Hawkins.”

“Seems that way.”

“Is there anything I could do to make this feel like an option? Maybe we could look at apartments somewhere else in the city?” Steve suggested.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I could do the apartment thing until Mia’s older.”

“Not even a first floor one?” Steve asked, trying to think of everything. “No balcony.”

“No balcony, but more likely for break-ins.” Eddie sighed. “It’s not just the balcony thing. I’m sure there’s plenty of places with no balcony. It’s just all of it. Being in a building with a bunch of strangers. Having to park so far from where we live and walk half a block or more just to get inside. With a baby that’s tough, it’ll probably be just as tough with a toddler, especially if I have my hands full. And just all the people. What if someone tries to take her?”

“Eds, I know you’re worried and it’s okay to be worried, but you wouldn’t have to do things alone.”

“Not always, no. You’d help, I know that.” Eddie covered Steve’s hand on his leg. “But you can’t always do everything with me.”

“No. I guess not,” Steve sounded so resigned, like he just had all of his worries confirmed. Maybe he had. “And Hawkins is…it’s just not an option for me. Not long-term. I could maybe do it for a few months while we figure something else out, but I can’t just stay there. I don’t want you to be stuck there either. Or Mia.”

“I know. I don’t wanna be stuck there either.”

“So…what now?”

“I think we just have to search for other options. Would you be okay leaving here?” Eddie asked, hopeful.

Hawkins was out, but maybe they could find somewhere close to here that wasn’t the actual city. Maybe they could get the best of both worlds somehow.

“I would if I still had access to decent money somehow. I make surprisingly good money at the restaurant, and if I can’t work there, I have to be able to find somewhere like it.” Steve kissed his cheek. “We could look at some of the suburbs?”

“Aren’t those mostly houses?” Eddie shook his head. “I can’t afford a house, sweetheart.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it wouldn’t be easy. But I do have some savings from when my parents sold the house and gave me half. And Robin could come with us if it’s close enough, as long as I could drive her to classes. She could help pay towards everything.” Steve shrugged. “I dunno, maybe I could grab the classifieds and see if anything decent is available?”

“Today? So I can help,” Eddie felt hope blooming in his chest. Dangerous, potentially painful, but there nonetheless. “I wanna help.”

“Yeah, Eds. I’ll go run to the corner store and grab one while you get Mia ready for the day. Maybe we could go to the park for a bit? I promise I’ll be by your side the entire time.”

Eddie nodded. It sounded nice. It sounded really nice actually.

He could picture a life like this with Steve: going to the park with Mia after they all had a nice breakfast, maybe stopping at a coffee shop on the way back to grab some hot chocolate during the winter or an iced coffee during the summer, finding happiness in the little moments as a family.

He just couldn’t picture it here.

“I’ll go make sure Robin hasn’t had a panic attack,” Eddie stood up, leaning down to help Steve get up too. “We’ll be alright?”

“We’ll be just fine, baby. We’re gonna make this work. I promise.”

Eddie had to believe him.

********

Their day was lovely.

Steve stuck to his word about staying right by his side, Robin even tagged along for some of the walk before she had to head to work. Mia babbled as they pushed her in the stroller Steve had in their coat closet.

She waved at everyone, which would be cute if it didn’t make Eddie’s chest squeeze with anxiety. Steve kept sliding his hand to Eddie’s back when people weren’t looking to comfort him, to remind him that they were fine and safe and that nothing would happen to Mia.

The park was a bit worse for his anxiety at first, until he realized that Steve wouldn’t let Mia be more than an arm’s length away from him as she crawled across the toddler play area. There were small steps and slides for her to climb on and she was having a blast. Eddie just needed to remember that she would be fine.

They stopped at Steve’s favorite sandwich shop on the walk back to the apartment.

“Steve! Who is this?” An older woman with curls coming out of her hat yelled across the busy shop. “You bring friends to see me at my busiest time, what is wrong with you?”

Steve blushed, looked back at Eddie with a fond smile.

“This is Eddie and Mia, you remember me telling you about them?” Steve nudged them closer to the counter as he spoke, ignoring the eyes on him in the store. “They came to visit for the weekend.”

“Oh, blessed day! This is Eddie and Mia? Charlie, come see!” She yelled towards the back kitchen area where it looked like most of the prep was happening. “Charlie!” She yelled again when he didn’t come fast enough.

Another older woman walked out the back and Eddie’s mouth fell open.

“My love, if you interrupt my cutting tomatoes again, I will make you deal with them,” Charlie said as she came forward with a smile. “Oh! Steve!”

“Eds, this is Maryann and her partner Charlie. They make sure I’m fed,” Steve introduced them before both women came bustling around the counter to coo at Mia.

“Oh she is too precious. I could just eat her right up,” Maryann said as she tickled Mia’s belly.

“She must get her looks from Eddie. Not a drop of Steve’s unruly hair to be seen on her,” Charlie teased with a wink. “And those dimples. You’ll have your hands full with this one.”

Eddie’s mind was reeling as he took in the way they were casually touching, smiling at each other the way Steve and Eddie smiled at each other.

“Are you two…” Eddie asked.

Charlie and Maryann froze and looked up at him, brows furrowing as they took in his confusion.

“Well, aren’t you?” Charlie asked.

“I-“

“You’re scaring him,” Maryann scolded Charlie before offering a gentle hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “We are. It’s not exactly a secret, but we don’t really shout it from the rooftops either. This one had his whole sexuality crisis in our shop.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “He what?”

“Oh yeah. New in town, stopped to grab food after a shift, started crying the moment he saw Maryann kiss my cheek. We made him stay with us for the night until he calmed down. He told us all about you and what he’d left behind.” Charlie was smirking as Steve turned a darker shade of red. “I remember he said this was the first time he’d ever realized the way he loved you.”

Eddie glanced at Steve, who was trying to distract himself from the conversation by letting Mia play with his hands.

“And what did you guys say?”

“Well, I told him to go back and tell you how he feels. Maryann was a bit more reasonable and said he should wait it out a bit and make sure it wasn’t just a panic from moving.” Charlie nudged Eddie. “Must’ve still been head over heels for ya if you’re here now.”

“Are we done embarrassing me now?” Steve asked as he pulled Mia from her stroller. She was kicking and waving her hands excitedly, babbling now that more attention was on her again. “Mia would like to say a proper hello.”

Steve silently asked Eddie for permission to let them hold Mia, and of course he nodded in confirmation. These two were obviously important to Steve, and Steve wouldn’t keep anyone he couldn’t trust around.

Both of them started fawning over her, and Steve stood next to Eddie with a fond smile on his face.

“So, you had a whole crisis in this sandwich shop? Over me?” Eddie watched Mia giggling with them, relaxed for maybe the first time since he arrived.

“Sort of. They’re being a little dramatic. I just missed you.” Steve squeezed his hand in his own before turning back towards the commotion. “Alright, can we get some service? I’m sure the people waiting behind us aren’t that thrilled about waiting this long.”

“Oh, hush. They can wait or they can leave. Family comes first,” Maryann said while smiling at Mia. “Right, Mimi?”

“Mimi!” Mia mimicked, surprising everyone huddled together.

“Oh boy, she’s never gonna stop with that,” Eddie faked annoyance, but his words were dripping with fondness. “Everyone and everything will be Mimi.”

“Mama!” Mia yelled and reached back out to Steve.

“Except for Mama, apparently,” Charlie smirked. “Lovely to meet you both. Better visit us next time you’re around. I better finish cutting the tomatoes before the boss gets to yellin’.”

“As if I ever yell at you!” Maryann replied, swatting at Charlie with a towel from her apron. “Alright, let’s get you boys some food. The usual for you?”

Steve nodded. “And the club for Eddie. Any way we can get some toasted bread for the princess to snack on until we get home?”

“Of course. We might even have some grapes back there we can cut up for her if you want.”

“Please,” Eddie agreed, pulling his wallet out to pay.

“Oh, put that away. Family of Steve’s doesn’t pay for their food.”

Eddie flushed, but did as he was told, too scared of Maryann to not listen. He slipped his wallet back into his pocket and took Mia from Steve’s arms so he could be the one to grab their food when it was ready.

He pushed the stroller with one hand while holding Mia, slipping past a few tables full of people who were all engrossed in their own conversations. He could feel Steve’s eyes following him as he tried to find a table for them to sit down.

The shop was packed, but there were two tables in the far corner by the window facing the street. Eddie plopped down in one of the chairs and let Mia sit on the edge of the table in front of him. She watched out the window as people passed by, quiet as she took in her surroundings.

“You see all the people? You think they know that a princess is here?” Eddie asked her quietly, smiling when she started kicking her feet. “Look at that yellow car. That’s a taxi. You know what a taxi is? It’s a car that drives people where they need to go so they don’t have to walk or drive their own car.”

“Mama?” Mia turned back to Eddie.

“No, Mama doesn’t take taxis. Mama walks and drives his own car.”

“Mama!” Mia said again, louder.

“I brought you some treats, princess,” Steve said as he sat down in the seat across from them. “And some for Mia, too.”

Eddie squinted his eyes across the table. “Watch yourself, princess.”

Steve smirked before setting Eddie’s sandwich to the side.

Eddie adjusted Mia in his lap so she was facing the table while Steve broke up pieces of the bread and spread it in front of her with cut up grapes and applesauce.

“Did they do this just for her?” Eddie asked, looking over at the growing line at the counter. “They’re too busy to do special requests.”

“They don’t mind. One thing you should know about them is that they will do whatever they want whether you think they should do it or not.” Steve started opening the wrapping around Eddie’s sandwich for him so he could eat with one hand. “Now, when you take a bite of this, you’re gonna fall in love with them just like I did.”

And he did.

He’d had plenty of club sandwiches in his life, but this was different. The chicken was smoked with rosemary and garlic, and the mayo had some kind of spice mixed into it.

Mia seemed to love her snacks, and Steve quickly made her a bottle when he noticed the time on the clock behind the counter. He took her from Eddie so he could finish eating in peace.

They worked so well together. Eddie wanted to keep this.

They’d figure it out.

***********

Robin got back from her shift early that night, and she insisted on them going out.

“Mia’s just gonna sleep the whole time anyway, and you two may not get to have alone time again for a while,” she said as she heated up a can of soup on the stove for her dinner. “Steve gets a huge discount at the restaurant he works at. Just go there.”

“We need reservations-“

“Yeah, right. We both know they always have a table for emergencies and you’re their best server. They’d be stupid to not seat you.”

“And how exactly do I explain being on a date with a man?” Steve asked with his hands on his hips.

“It’s a business dinner with one of your father’s colleagues. It’s to keep up appearances or whatever. I dunno. No one’s gonna question it,” Robin rolled her eyes.

She was probably right, but it still made them both a little nervous to be dressing up and going out on an actual date together. In public. Where anyone could make assumptions about what they were to each other.

Plus, he had to leave Mia here.

He trusted Robin, he did. But if Mia woke up and was scared or sick or something, what would happen? What if someone broke in and tried to kidnap her while Robin was in the bathroom?

“Eddie, I promise I will keep my eyes on her the entire time. I’ll sit in her room and watch her every breath. I’ll call the restaurant if there’s an emergency. I know CPR for babies. It’ll be fine,” Robin didn’t even turn around while she spoke, just sensing his panic from the silence.

“Okay, but we won’t be gone long. Two hours max.”

“Sure, whatever. Just be quiet when you get back. I might be passed out in the crib with her.”

Steve snorted, but pushed Eddie out of the kitchen and towards his room.

“I know you didn’t bring super nice clothes, so you can borrow one of my button downs and a jacket,” Steve started going through his closet and pulling things out as he found things that might work for him. “I’d offer something of Robin’s, but she wears a small. It’d never cover your shoulders.”

As they got ready, Steve snuck kisses to his lips and his neck, silent check-ins that he couldn’t quite believe belonged to him. Steve belonged to him. He belonged to Steve.

That wouldn’t change now, not even if they still had no idea how to actually be together.

“Hey,” Eddie said as Steve was finishing tying his shoes. Steve looked up at him with his brows raised in question, his hair flopping in front of his eyes. “I love you.”

Steve visibly melted at the admission, cheeks tinting pink. “I love you, too.”

“Let’s go on our date.”

**********

The restaurant was beautiful.

No wonder Steve made good tips.

The hostess gave him a hug when they walked in, ignoring professionalism entirely when Steve introduced him as “that Eddie.”

She sat them in a table mostly hidden from the main room, clearly a table set to the side for people who may need extra privacy or people without a reservation.

The server was nice, though he didn’t seem to recognize Steve, or if he did, he must not know him that well.

“That’s the guy who usually only works weekday mornings. He took my shifts this weekend as a favor to the manager, but he hates working weekends,” Steve explained after he walked away with their drink orders placed.

They talked about the menu a bit, Steve making recommendations based on what he knew Eddie liked, as well as letting him know that the eggplant parmesan was surprisingly tasteless in comparison to most of the rest of the menu and to avoid it at all costs.

As they waited for their food, Steve’s ankle brushed against Eddie’s.

“Hey,” he said softly, voice filled with affection.

“Hey,” Eddie replied, equally soft.

“I think I found a house.”

Eddie nearly spit out the sip of water he had in his mouth. “What?”

“I was looking through the ads while you were changing Mia earlier and I think I found one that works for us. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, decent backyard, in a pretty small neighborhood. It’s three miles outside the city so we’d have pretty easy access, but would also have the privacy of living outside of town.” Steve smirked. “And with my down payment from savings, our mortgage would only be a couple hundred a month. If Robin comes to help out, it would actually be cheaper than the apartment by the end of it.”

Eddie gaped at him, his heart racing at the thought of the problem already being resolved.

“It may need some work on the porch, but I figure we could probably buy what we need relatively cheap and maybe Wayne could come out one weekend to help fix it up. The master bathroom needs a deep cleaning, but I can do that once it’s ours.”

“Stevie-“

“It already passed inspection though other than that, so they reduced the price a bit since it’ll involve some other costs once we move in. And since it’s so close, we’d just fill up my car for a few trips so no need for renting a truck. And Robin already said it looked nice!”

“Steve.” Eddie placed his ankles against Steve’s legs under the table and squeezed. “Can we go look at it tomorrow before I leave?”

“You want to?” Steve settled back in his chair.

“Yeah. I want to make this work. We can look at it and see if it’ll be good for all of us,” Eddie smiled reassuringly.

He knew Steve felt just as much, if not more, pressure to make this work for them. He’d been so set on making his apartment work.

And Eddie knew that if he could let go of his anxiety, it would’ve been perfect. But since he couldn’t, Steve felt even more like perfection was the only option.

“And if it’s not?” Steve asked.

“Then we’ll find something else. I’m not giving up.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

*********

They’d promised Robin they’d be quiet when they got back, but they hadn’t made any promises about after they made it to Steve’s room.

They knew they had to still be as quiet as possible with Mia sleeping next door, but they knew she was a deep enough sleeper that a few noises wouldn’t disturb her.

Robin, however, was a very light sleeper, if she was even sleeping, and would probably hear everything.

“Shit, Stevie, you’re leaking through your pants, sweetheart,” Eddie gasped against his mouth as he pushed him against the closed door. His hips rutted forward as Steve nipped at his bottom lip in response. “Guess I should clean you up, huh?”

“Please,” Steve begged, his eyes glassy and needy.

“Being so good for me,” Eddie unbuttoned his pants as he kissed down his neck, holding him up against the door with one hand as he worked his pants down. “Lean on my shoulders if you need to, sweet boy.”

Steve didn’t need to be told twice, his hands gripping Eddie’s shoulders tight as Eddie dropped to his knees. He licked at Steve’s leaking tip, smiling to himself as Steve huffed around a quiet moan.

“Put your shirt in your mouth if you need help being quiet,” Eddie ordered.

Steve didn’t at first, apparently confident that he could control himself when Eddie took all of him down his throat in one go. His knees did almost buckle, but he remained surprisingly quiet, possibly from the shock of the wet heat surrounding his cock now.

“Think I should let you fuck me? Get you all wet and then you can fuck me against this door?” Eddie kissed up and down Steve’s length as he spoke. “I could prep myself right now with how much you’re leaking. Don’t even need lube when you’re this wet.”

Steve finally let out a whimper, and Eddie put a pin in it for later.

He hadn’t bottomed in a long time and he’d need more prep than he could give himself like this. But next time, maybe when they had their own home, when they could take their time and open each other up, take turns inside each other, maybe then Steve could fuck him.

Definitely then if Eddie’s twitching cock had any say in the matter.

“Shit, Eds, gonna come,” Steve whined out.

“Already? Barely even had my mouth on you,” Eddie looked up at him with fake innocence, his hand moving up and down Steve’s length with purpose.

He knew Steve had already been on edge in the car ride home, Eddie’s hands drifting up and down his thigh as he maneuvered through the city streets to avoid as much traffic as possible.

His hands had been shaking as he unlocked the main door downstairs and the apartment’s front door, Eddie watching and breathing hot on his neck while he did so.

Eddie would be lying if he said he wasn’t just as close as him. Seeing what he did to Steve was a major turn on.

“Wanna swallow it all. Come in my mouth, big boy,” Eddie said before swallowing him down again.

Steve barely covered the surprised moan he let out as his cum shot down Eddie’s throat.

Eddie’s answering moan was louder, maybe pushing the boundary of the acceptable noise level for the apartment, but he couldn’t control it.

Having Steve like this was all he ever wanted.

He licked up the few drips of cum as he pulled off of Steve, looking up at Steve’s messy hair and sweaty face.

“Sorry I didn’t get to fuck you,” Steve breathed out.

“Next time,” Eddie stood up, placed a kiss on Steve’s lips, and watched as Steve’s eyes closed and his head fell back against the door. “You wanna get in bed?”

“Mhm,” Steve nodded.

“Alright, get all of this off. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Wait-“ Steve grabbed his wrist before he could turn away completely. “Wanna take care of you.”

“You can in bed, sweet boy.”

“Mkay.”

Steve would be lucky to last a single minute once his head hit the pillow, but Eddie would be fine without getting off. He’d calm down soon.

Steve managed to throw off his shirt and get his shoes kicked off so he could finish taking his pants all the way off. He got under the covers and blinked his eyes open to watch as Eddie undressed and joined him.

“Fuck my thighs?” Steve asked him, eyes blinking slower as sleep started to win.

“You’re tired, sweetheart.”

“Want you to anyways,” Steve sighed as he turned over, his back facing Eddie. “Make a mess.”

“Jesus Christ, sweetheart. You’re gonna kill me,” Eddie huffed a laugh as he reached into the drawer that he knew had a hidden bottle of lube. “You want me to fuck you so bad you don’t even care if you’re asleep?”

“Mhm.”

“Fuck, okay. Lift this leg for a second,” Eddie patted at his left leg before he poured some lube on his hand. “Gonna get you nice and wet so I can fuck you good.”

Steve let out a long moan at the words, but his leg was shaking with the effort of holding it up when he was this tired, so Eddie took pity on him.

He lathered lube on his inner thighs and rubbed some on his own throbbing cock before throwing the bottle behind him and hoping it landed closed somewhere. He pushed between Steve’s legs, already on the verge of coming too quickly.

He gently moved Steve’s leg down, moaning at the squeeze around his dick, the easy glide through the heat of Steve’s thighs.

It wouldn’t take long, maybe a few thrusts, but God, Eddie would have to do this again sometime when he wasn’t already so close to the edge. It felt almost as good as actually fucking him, almost better knowing that Steve was letting him use him while he was too tired to do anything.

He knew Steve was unconscious now, watched his chest heaving up and down slowly, his lips pursed open as he breathed. Eddie kissed the back of his neck, lingering for a moment so he could breathe in the faint musk of Steve’s sweat mixing with his spicy cologne.

“So perfect for me,” Eddie whispered against his skin as he pushed forward and pulled back. “Love you so much.”

He spilled between Steve’s thighs less than a minute later, hips still moving even when the overstimulation started to be painful instead of just too much pleasure.

Steve didn’t wake up, but he did shift slightly, making Eddie wince as he pulled away to clean them both up.

As he wiped up the lube and cum all over Steve’s thighs, Steve’s eyes blinked open for a moment. Eddie paused and watched as Steve smiled down at him.

“Better?” Steve rasped out.

“Much better. Thank you, sweetheart,” Eddie kissed his thigh, his stomach, his chest. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mkay. Love you.”

“Love you so much.”

Eddie settled next to him, lifting his arm when Steve cuddled into his side and wrapping it around his shoulders.

They’d have this every night.

Soon.

[misscongeniality18]

request for peter sutherland x reader and she has very low self esteem. readers family isnt very supportive and maybe at like a family gathering someone in her family makes an offensive joke at readers expense and peter defends her?

Of course! I hope you don't mind me using a bit of my own past with family members as inspiration, and that it's not exactly an offensive joke, more like an offensive opinion/observation? Anyway, enjoy!

Perfect - Peter Sutherland

Synopsis ! You and Peter go to your family's monthly get-together, where your family continuously judges you. Pairing ! Peter Sutherland x fem!reader Genre ! Fluff, some angst Warnings ! Judgemental/unsupportive family members, reader has body/self-esteem issues, social alcohol consumption Word Count - 1454

" When you said you looked a mess I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it Darling you look perfect tonight " - Perfect, Ed Sheeran

Masterlist Request Guide

You gripped Peter's hand tightly while smoothing out your dress. Today was the day that you were bringing him to meet your family. Every month, your family would meet at your parent's house for dinner and to catch up. To everyone else, it was a lovely tradition that started with your great-grandparents and was passed on through the generations, but to you, it was a nightmare that you dreaded each month.

"What's wrong, Y/N?" Peter asked you as the two of you walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

You sighed, trying to keep your clammy palms dry. "I'm just preparing myself. Are you sure this dress looks okay?"

"You look great," Peter said, furrowing his brows at your sudden anxiety. The door opened, revealing your mother in her best sweater set and pearls. "Y/N, darling! I'm so glad you could make it this time. You must be Peter. I've heard a lot about you."

Your mother was warm and friendly, just like the home she worked so tirelessly to keep. She was a teacher at the local community college, and you admired how dedicated she was to her job.

Your mother led you and Peter inside while calling for your father. Your siblings were gathered in the living room, their own significant others sitting at their sides. Your aunts and uncles were there as well, and so were a few of your cousins.

Your mother led the introductions, and Peter shook everyone's hand in turn. So far, things were going well, but the pounding in your chest never left. You were squeezing Peter's hand tightly, holding him close to you. Out of everything in the world, only Peter could keep you grounded.

"So, Peter, what is it that you do?" Your father asked, handing Peter a beer. You sipped your own drink, preferring one of the fruity seltzers.

Peter was relaxed, sitting next to you on the couch. "I'm an FBI agent. I'm currently on a classified assignment in the White House."

"Wow, that's impressive. Must pay pretty big bucks for that, huh?" Your father joked. "Well, it's nothing like being a writer, right Y/N?"

You bit your lip to keep yourself from speaking. If you did, you would lash out. Your father had never been supportive about your choice in career.

Still, your father continued, ignoring the annoyed sighs from your siblings. They knew his habits as well. "I mean, being a writer is a nice hobby, but it's not realistic as a stable career."

"Actually," Peter interrupted. "Y/N has had several short stories published, and her first novel is getting considered for a book deal. "

Before anyone could say anything, a voice called from the kitchen that dinner was ready.

You instantly stiffened. Peter felt you go rigid, and he glanced at you with concern. His eyes were asking if everything was alright, but you didn't have time to answer as everyone went into the dining room.

Your grandmother stood at the dining table adding the finishing touches to the spread that she and your mother created. "Y/N, you're here!"

Your grandmother rushed around the table to hug you tightly. When she released you, she eyed your dress with a frown. "Is that dress the right size? It's making you look bigger."

After taking a deep breath, you stiffly turned to Peter. "Grandma, this is Peter, my boyfriend. He's an FBI agent."

"Oh!" Your grandmother gave Peter a hug and showed him to a place at the table. "That must include a lot of training to keep you fit. Does Y/N join you at the gym?"

"No, Grandma, I don't. I—"

Before you could continue with that you go to a yoga class every week, your grandmother interrupted you. "Oh, darling, you should. You look like you're getting heavier."

She walked away from you then, and you bit your lip as you sat down next to Peter. He took your hand, giving you comfort. "I see why you don't like coming home," he whispered to you.

You nodded in agreement as the food was getting passed around. Peter was asked more questions, but he always brought the conversation back to supporting you.

But eventually, your grandmother began to go on a tangent about you. "I loved having Y/N stay with me while she completed college, but I always thought to myself, what can she really do with a degree in English literature? You would think that she'd become a teacher or something, but no, she wants to be a writer. It is admirable, I suppose, but how does she just become a writer? What does she have to do?"

Peter took a sip of water. "I mentioned this in the living room, but she's had several stories published, and she's really talented—"

"Are you going to eat all that?" Your grandmother interrupted, seeing the amount of food on your plate.

You looked down at your plate blankly. A helping each of meat, potatoes, and green beans, and a roll with butter on the side. You turned back to your grandmother hesitantly. "Yes?"

"Oh my. That's not going to help the figure, is it?"

The table was uncomfortably silent with the occasional clink of silverware against plates, but your grandmother still continued.

"Why don't you take care of yourself, Y/N? You have such a pretty face, don't you want a body to match?"

There was a sudden thud coming from your left as Peter forcefully set his water glass down. He wiped his mouth with a napkin before placing it on the table, pushing his chair back. "I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

"You're leaving?" Your grandmother asked in shock.

"Yes," Peter replied, helping you from your chair and taking your hand. "I'd stay, but I can't stand listening to you insult the woman I love any longer. She is beautiful and smart and so incredibly talented. I wish I had a fraction of what she has, but I don't. You've all praised me for my job, but you know what I really do? I monitor a phone for eight hours that doesn't even ring! Mrs. Y/L/N, thank you for the meal. I hope to see you again soon."

Peter thanked your mother before stalking out of the dining room and through the front door.

Your mother sighed, turning to your grandmother. "Mom, he's right. You can't keep talking to Y/N like that. And you," she said, turning to your father. "No more making wisecracks about Y/N's job."

"Okay, okay. Honey, I'm sorry," your father apologized to you. You gave him a warm smile. After all, his comments were mainly poor-taste jokes. But your grandmother's...

"Grandma, I'm not obsessed with my weight like you are. Yes, I know I'm bigger than average, but I eat right, and I exercise almost daily, it's just that I have to find the right things that fit me. Eating salads and running ten miles a day doesn't work for me," you said, turning to your grandmother. "So please stop making these comments to me. All they do is make me feel bad."

Your grandmother sighed. "Fine. I'm sorry. I'll keep my mouth shut."

Not entirely heartfelt, but if she'd stop, that was good enough for you... for the moment.

"I'll go talk to Peter. He's just really overprotective, but that's what I love about him. He takes care of me," you said, smiling to yourself.

You left your family in the dining room, walking out to your front yard where Peter was waiting at your car. He was leaning against the passenger door, arms crossed over his chest.

"They're angry at me, aren't they?" He asked you, cringing.

You shook your head as you approached him, pulling him toward you by his tie and pressing your lips to his.

Peter's hands moved to rest on your waist, moving you closer to him. When you pulled away, his eyes were lighter and he was smiling. "What was that for?"

"I'd never been able to stand up to my family, especially my grandma, and you defended me when I couldn't. And I love you for that."

Peter kissed you again, soft and sweet, wrapping his arms around you. "I love you, too. You are perfect, no matter what anyone says."

You gave him another quick kiss before pulling him back to the house.

He groaned, not budging an inch. "Do we have to go back in there?"

"Not necessarily, but they apologized to me while you were gone, and I know they'll do it again if you're there. I kind of want to hear it for a second time."

Peter laughed, allowing himself to be dragged by the hand.

Yes, every insult has been said to me before, and if you've heard something similar, you are PERFECT just the way you are! I love each and every one of you. Happy reading. <3

[suffersinfandom]

A Summary of The OFMD Meta (Part IV)

This is part four of an incomplete summary of A Meta-Discussion Of The Subtext by meratrishoslee (Mera) on AO3 (linked to, as the author requests). I’m trying to stay impartial and present the content fairly and with context. Like, I started reading this 140K beast after I saw a wild screencap and thought, "Surely there's context that makes this make sense," so I do want to provide at least that much.

This part includes interviews and a response to one of the “concern trolls that couldn't quite manage to wipe the foamy froth from their mouths long enough to keep it from dripping on their keyboards.”

No more chapter numbers because they keep being reordered.

Other posts Part I Part II Part III

Chapter The Vanity Fair Article - A Wondrous Fuckery

Here’s the article that chapter is about.

Mera suspects that the interview happened via text, giving David Jenkins time to sort out what he was going to say. They note that they’re “going on vibes and subtext, which is really more [their] wheelhouse.” You’re welcome to disagree with them.

“First off, I was trained in the House of Moftiss/BBC Sherlock fandom, where we just assumed that every word the showrunners spoke in an interview or on social media was a shameless distortion at best, and an outright lie at worst -- so that's where my mind goes first. [...] Having said that... so much of the Vanity Fair interview is an actual gift.  You do have to cherrypick somewhat... but again, DJenks just released an episode with a major character death.  He can't go back and reverse himself and suggest on any textual level that the death was less than permanent.”

VF mentions the happy endings in the finale, and Jenkins says, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it’s unrequited or it’s unrealized; something horrible happens and they’re punished in a way.

“That's not a happy ending -- and that's exactly what you apparently fucking did with a central character.  Gosh, how weird of you to bring it up here.  So why?  Is it... is it something you left open for a third season?  That the horrible death of an unrequited love isn't what it appears?”

Jenkins says that Izzy is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure. Mera says that “this is the closest he gets to queerbaiting us” because Izzy is definitely not Ed’s father figure.

“Notice we are still given the subtext here: mostly dead is slightly alive, and "kind of a father figure" feels like a limp gesture in the direction of explanation.  The rest of it... if you feel insulted on Con's behalf, that Izzy Hands was reduced to an old dog being put down at the vet's office here ("beautiful arc", "does a lot of things", "it's time", "full meal" -- god, a day at the dog park and a last fucking supper with cheeseburgers and pie and all the human food he never got to have otherwise she says sarcastically) -- YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO.”

Jenkins keeps mentioning “magic, love, turning, losing, changing, rebirth, resurrection, present tense about Izzy Hands, ghosts/life after death, or anything of those flavors.” He is “legitimizing repetition” in order “to prime your mind to see the subtext.  You can only look for something if you know what it looks like: he is giving you the key to the season.”

Jenkins reminds us that “he was not a straight white guy alone in that writers room, and he's telling you the story worked for everyone in that room of all queerness/genders.” 

“And then he brings our head back around and goes ‘hey, look at Izzy again. It's almost like he's the key to everything.  Hey, look at me using present tense on a character that's supposed to be dead and gone which would be past tense. God I love Con O'Neill, and I need you to hear that in every single interview I ever give EVER. His character IS a joy to write.’”

Mera mentions all of the “subtextual queer references and coding” put into Izzy. “You don't create a Queer Avatar by fucking accident. And these professionals certainly did not.”

Mera encourages their readers to read the Q&A that wraps the article “with the mindset that we will have an S3 where a queer self-sacrificing man rises from the dead in a damn near explicit Christ metaphor and our Izzy Hands is safe and whole and loved.”

“The Vanity Fair interview, as far as I'm concerned, is not some painful/cruel gloat. It is a subtextual love letter back to the fans, published just in time to be ready to soothe our hurting hearts -- if we know how to parse it.”

Chapter "Who Do Ya Trust If You Can't Trust God?"

“I'm finding myself tired at being the point of the spear. No one prepared me for how exhausting it is to be among the first to realize a massive truth.”

This chapter is about coping with fandom and contains some solid advice: “The block button is our friend. The unfollow button is our friend. The mute option is our friend. If someone's relentless negativity hurts your feelings or drags you down, mute/unfollow/block them as needed.”

But then:

“I choose to believe my daily-growing mountain of evidence that Izzy Hands is alive and that the writers intend that he be hollered home from the gravy basket. 

“Furthermore? If I can be painfully real for a minute? I am amazed at the trust the writers have given us. 

“Because we the Unseen Crew have been put into the position of Izzy's future lover -- to be to Izzy what Stede was to Ed.  We are called on for our audience participation now, to hold his hand and beg his return -- not for a minute, an hour, or a day... but potentially for the next several months, over a year or more, until we get Season 3. 

“I do tend to have this fatal flaw of wanting to uphold others' trust in me, and to be loyal to those who show loyalty in return.”

Mera reminds us that her word is not canon. She isn’t affiliated with the show and is just trying to provide hope and positivity.

“Even though I often will get tired... I am determined to stay positive. When I can't say something nice, I close the window or the app and say nothing at all. You will find me on my social media being as unrelentingly kind as I know how to be.”

Next: interviews and what we can take from them. “Interviews have exactly two purposes: pocket money for the subject of said interview, and promotion for the show. I was trained to never fully trust what is said in interviews.” Engagement and getting people clicking is more important than imparting useful and truthful information, and nothing engages people like anger.

That’s how we get the early “interviews that are half touching and half enraging, with seriously tone-deaf seeming self-conflicting statements from the writers/showrunners [...]. We can trust that if the interviews are live/verbal, they'll be more irritating rather than less. The showrunners would much rather say too little or say something wrong than give away something too big or too true accidentally, and in the pressure of the moment they will fall back on phrases they've memorized as safe to use.”

Don’t trust that interviews are telling you the truth (but they might be saying something truth-adjacent).

Mera has doubts about Jenkins telling O’Neill about Izzy’s death mid-season. She doesn’t think that Jenkins is that stupid. “It's not too far a stretch to think that this "mid-season" conversation occurred in the middle of filming the first season, and all DJenks is prevaricating about is the timing thereof.” 

Jenkins realized mid season one that Con is an amazing actor, so he takes him out for dinner and says, “Next season I want to kill Izzy 3 times. The first time will be Stede's dream sequence, and the next two will be actual Passion Plays, because we're setting Izzy up to be Jesus and Westley from The Princess Bride and Han Solo from Star Wars.”

“And Con takes up the challenge of being coded as an OVERT Queer Messiah (with an additional layer of subtextual HIV/AIDS)... because of course he does. Of course he fucking does. If he can pull it off -- and if anyone can, it's him -- it's the role of a fucking lifetime. It's a role for history books and media studies for the next fifty or one hundred years. 

“Doesn't that sound a bit more likely? Doesn't that sound a bit more real?”

Mera predicts that interviews and articles will start publishing ideas about Izzy still being alive, and talking about how weird and off the end of season two was. Everyone involved with the show, after all, will “know we inspect every frame and every pixel of every BTS and teaser they release,” so they’ll feed us enough to keep us guessing at the truth.

“Here is my promise to you: if/when I'm wrong about any of this, I will edit this chapter only to admit I was wrong and when and how. I will not remove my evidence.  I am comfortable being wrong.  If I was never wrong, I would never have tried and failed and learned from my failures!”

Chapter Until You Come Full Circle

This chapter is about interviews. “We’ve had, just in the last week, two very sweet and classy interviews with Con (which I did predict, although that was about as safe as saying the sun would rise in the east this morning) – and one that seemed… less so, with Taika.”

First interview with Con.

Con says to trust David Jenkins, which immediately makes Mera think of Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. “Now. Am I delulu, as the kids are calling it these days, suggesting that Con might intentionally be throwing some religious vibes at us?”

Con is also “earnest and intense” in his praise of OFMD’s writing. This is a good sign; that means he thinks the show is written well, and that’s further evidence that Izzy will be back.

Second interview with Con.

Con “seems to me to be very reluctant to outright lie, which is awesome for a meta writer and squares with my experience of him. Lying is easy in the moment and difficult in the future – a person has to remember what lies they’ve told in order to remain sufficiently consistent in their stories. It takes more skill to tell just enough of the truth that it's both vague in the moment but pays off later.” This makes interviews with him extra valuable.

A short analysis of one of his quotes: “Everything Izzy is in Season 2 was there in Season 1, only understated and repressed. According to the actor who played him: he didn’t change who he was. Izzy just got safe enough to let what was inside him out to where others could see it too.”

One of Con’s quotes backs up Mera’s Sacred Heart meta, namely the part about Izzy trying to serve the crew that loves him. 

Now a Taika interview.

This interview bolsters Mera’s idea of Ed as Judas. 

From the article: When Consequence asks writer/director/actor Taika Waititi if he’s feeling optimistic about a third season of Our Flag Means Death, his initial response is this: “Have you seen the end?”

“I think we can safely assume that Taika’s not asking the interviewer if he’s literally seen the last episode of Season 2. This feels to me like the blunt, sardonic, dry humor Taika’s evinced (and occasionally gotten into trouble over) during other interviews, aimed at the word ‘optimistic.’ ‘Have you seen the end? How optimistic did you think it was?’”

It’s not an optimistic ending. The interview mentions the inn’s renovations, but we don’t see anyone doing any renovating. Ed and Stede don’t even have food as the Revenge sails away. 

From the article: For Waititi, though, the Season 2 finale “feels like a natural end to their story. Just because I feel like, you know, they’ve been through so much and then wind up in that nice place at a happy ending.”

What nice place? What happy ending? 

From the article: Waititi says, though, that “I don’t want it to feel like Rambo III suddenly, you know, when you’re like, ‘Oh man, they have to leave their idyllic life again.'”

“Okay, everything else was fucky as fuck… but that feels wrong enough to be a lighthouse.” So Mera went and watched Rambo III, which is more relevant than she expected. 

Rambo’s “idyllic” life isn’t that great. “We don’t see an emotional, human connection. We see a white guy who’s on tolerance in a place he doesn’t really belong, separated by a language he doesn’t fluently speak. We see a man tormenting himself with boredom and isolation.”

“When you look at John Rambo through most of this movie, you see a pretty good correlation to Edward at the start of the last episode of OFMD S2: on tolerance in a place that’s not truly his home, trying to fit a life and do a job he’s not suited to… and he gives it up without another thought because a man he cares about is in danger.” A hint to season three?

Chapter My Ridiculous Obsession With Love

In this chapter, Mera addresses one of her “haters.” 

For anyone who forgot the thesis of this meta: “The overarching hypothesis I'm building in this meta-discussion is that Izzy's death was more serious because HIV/AIDS and queer grief is serious.  He had to go into the grave and take the full journey of the passion play to be able to leave it behind him, and to re-emerge as someone that can touch, kiss, and love again.”

--

Commenter: “None of that makes this a definitive interpretation, or one that the creative team can reasonably be held responsible for.” 

Mera: “... yes?  Okay, sure? (Dear non-haters: just picture that John Travolta confusion gif again, because if I threw it in here every time I rammed up against an example of begging the question in this comment, there'd be like 30 of them and we'd all get tired of them.)”

--

Commenter: “The crew hold back because Ed is the person Izzy dedicated his life to and has not yet fully reconciled with- they're giving him space to sort things with Ed so he can go in peace. Etc etc.”

Mera: “I see a rapid parade of images and sounds. "He's a dick, but he's our dick." Jim snarling "He was your friend" up into their captain's face, even though they know for a fact that could get them killed. The crew make the unicorn's leg for him together but they leave it at his door because they know he can't (yet) let himself accept it if anyone's watching: what an incredibly emotionally intelligent maneuver. The easy way that we see Jim and Lucius and Frenchie and Fang interact with Izzy in later eps-- all touching him or letting him lean on him, just never skin to skin. The way that we see Izzy go into Wee John's arms and stay held there for a while as he commits the incredibly vulnerable act of singing for them. The way that Izzy lays his hand on Stede's knee while they're talking at Jackie's bar, and there's no real animosity from them on either side then.

“So I'll give you this one, 100%.  I can't say that you're wrong or prove it in any way.  Your reading is absolutely as valid as mine, no more and no less.”

--

Commenter: “Isn't it heavily implied that people touch him with bare hands while dealing with his leg? And if he is coded as having AIDS and being untouchable, why would the crew be so willing to dive in and get covered in his blood when they treat his leg, especially when they're also scraped up at the time?”

Mera: “I haven't had a chance to write up this meta yet, but in a nutshell: we see Jim and Archie amputate his leg (with their hands pressed together in visual union atop it).  They're covered in blood and this is one of the least realistic depictions of a survivable amputation attempt in media ever, frankly... and yet Izzy lives through it!  [...]

“Notably we do NOT see Fang cleaning up.  I need to go back and verify, but I'm like 99% sure. 

“Why? Is Fang lazy or unhelpful? No, I'd say two reasons. One, he's paralyzed with grief (and the men in this show are so emotional, as Auntie rightfully notes).  But two, certain classifications of men were more susceptible to Izzy's subtextual disease. [...]

“I think it's a direct subtextual sign post to the part that lesbians/wlw/AFAB people had to play in the care of queer men dying of AIDS. [...] Jim won't catch Izzy's subtextual HIV/AIDS, ever.  Jim's hands heal and comfort, with both Izzy and Auntie -- repetition (usually) legitimizes, as I've said elsewhere.”

--

Commenter: “...while I know I have no control over this... it's alarming to see other commenters accepting this elaborate interpretation as if it's definitive.”

Mera: “Ooooh, I'd pay a dollar to find out how many comments you leave on fix-it fics. Are they also dwelling in their delusions of a world where a fictional character in a show overcomes a fictional death in the same show? Is it a sign of mental illness to indulge in word count or WORSE -- for them to irresponsibly leave those insane words just out there online where other people can also continue their madness by READING THEM?!?! The absolute horror. We writers should be ashamed, etc etc. 

“There's every possibility all the words I'm spilling over this are worth just as much as you paid for them: exactly nothing. 

“So thank goodness we have you and others like you, willing to do the purely altruistic and entirely virtuous work of... leaving comments to tell us you didn't agree? I guess?  Honestly I don't have a full lock on what your goal was here, if something other than trying to make people feel bad but fortunately not being very skilled at it.”

--

Commenter: “I wish you and every other fan nothing but the best, and for that reason, I find this hard to watch.”

Mera: “My sibling in Shiva: the 'back' button and the 'x' to close the window are available in every single web browser I have ever used in the history of the internet, ever. But I appreciate your martyrdom in staying here and nobly suffering so hard in an attempt to save me and my readers from ourselves!”

--

Commenter: “It seems like you are setting yourself and others up for even more rage and heartbreak than there would otherwise need to be.”

Mera: “I want to point out that I've tried to be very careful in not speculating about Season 3; I think it's reasonable for any fan to assume all characters living at the end of S2x08 will return in S3 unless real life status of the actors, scheduling, or budgetary considerations prevent that. 

“I want to point out that all I have are the first two seasons, and I am telling you that Izzy Hands, inside the last second of S2x08, is "mostly dead but slightly alive" -- and he's in the house, being the cause of the smell that Edward doesn't want to recognize (as he is at least twice before shown refusing to recognize what he's done as Blackbeard after the fact) but does actually recognize all the same.”

Mera admits that there are two options: “Either I'm correctly parsing the absolute bounty of subtext available in every aspect of the show, or I'm not.”

“On the day that we get that confirmation, I will feel one of two things: either the delicious vindication that I was right -- or amazement that they could build such a wondrous sky castle of subtext, whether consciously or subconsciously, and fail to complete it satisfactorily.”

“I've been wrong before and will freely and cheerfully admit it [...]. That's also why I put in my first meta post that I had been a TJLC'er -- and why I've left it in there, actually. It's correct and it's honest. Straight off I admitted I was wrong about Something Big. 

“See, it's [...] ‘hater bait,’ and it's already caught several. Lots of concern trolls that couldn't quite manage to wipe the foamy froth from their mouths long enough to keep it from dripping on their keyboards, because all of them had mentioned it... until you.”

--

“I've cackled my way through all of the writing of this post, even as I've tried to be very kind in reply -- you should have seen some of the shots I chose not to take due to their cruelty (even though they were fucking hilarious) -- so thank you for a most diverting morning.  I even got more meta and more word count out of this, so it wasn't actually a waste of productive time!”

--

Commenter: “I urge you to reconsider this approach that you're taking.”

Mera: “Here's where I'm gonna get all the way real again. Because I'm not talking to [...] that poor dear any more. I'm talking to the ones who are here with me in the stinking dark of the Pit of Despair, holding onto Izzy's naked right hand with no glove between us any more or hopefully ever again, hollering him back home out of the gravy basket.”

“If one sound had been added, everyone would know what the author knows. “We have the house. We have the grave -- with Izzy's collar on it like the dog collars on the dog graves in Pet Sematary -- where whatever comes back often comes back wrong. We've got the concept of a bad smell. We've got Stede reacting to something awful with a scream [the one thing Mera’s adding in this scenario]. 

“DONE. 

“Now the fandom is convinced that Izzy is alive, just as most of us were convinced in the last 18 months that Lucius was still alive.”

“This is part of what convinced me in the first seconds after the episode was over that Izzy wasn't dead. If I could both change the story and prove it to everyone else with just one small addition... then he's not dead.”

After Lucius was pushed overboard in season one, “I just trusted that this soft and sweet little show wouldn't actually permanently kill one of its gays. [...] And I still trust that it didn't actually permanently forever and truly kill the most gay-coded of its gays.”

[starboysbrainrot]

Another day in the red room

situated in episode 17 of season 2, it’s a bit of a shit post, and it’s not meant to be serious 😭

inspired by one of @sillydeafwitch ‘s post where B&J can see what they’re doing in the real world

characters : og mystery inc (minus Pericles), mayor jones, Ed machine, Darrow family, nova etc etc, in the red room

another day in the red room.

-What in the living hell did you do this time ?

Cassidy was watching over a mirror-like window serving as a link between the red room and the real world, where mystery incorporated was already facing a new mystery.

-I honestly don’t even want to know.

Judy sighed, glancing over Cassidy’s shoulder.

-It looks like he found another way to waste my money…

Both turned their head, spotting an understandably pissed younger Ricky, sitting in one of the room’s seat.

-Can you even imagine how much hundreds of mutated cows cost ?! All that money, to track down teenagers and to find a stupid disk !

He sighed.

-Beside, I never wanted to hurt anybody… and yet it still happened…

Mrs Darrow put a reassuring hand on the boy’s shoulder, trying to comfort him.

-Honey, nobody here wanted to hurt anyone… Don’t be too hard on yourself.

-Beside, nothing that’s happening right now would be happening if some interdimensional creature whose name I will keep silent had deigned to mind their business and had left the human race alone.

Ed Machine growled, glancing at Nova who simply ignored him by walking to the center of the room.

-We have to be patient, the new mystery incorporated will be able to beat the demon, we have to trust them.

-That’s easy to say for you, said Cassidy, scoffing. You have nothing to lose, it’s not even your world that’s gonna get destroyed !

-I don’t see the problem, even if it’s not my dimension, I can still care about your world.

-Ah ! Shouted Danny Darrow, the kids have trapped the Queen, they are taking it out of Crystal Cove !

A sigh of relief was heard from everyone in the red room.

-See ? You have to trust them.

-Oh cut it out ! Jones snapped, before curling up on one of the red sofas in the room, that’s easy to say for you. Your body’s not being used by an evil entity who’s acting like a freak and neglecting your son !

He sighed.

-My meddling Fred, I hope he’s okay…

-Eh, I don’t think so, well, surely not after that.

Judy and Jones simultaneously turned their head to Cletus Darrow, who was worryingly watching trough the multi dimensional window.

-Brad’s launching a missile at Fred and their friends.

-I’M DOING WHAT ?!

Brad had been a complete mess since the Krampus incident and who had spent the week in a corner whimping and crying, no longer able to stand seeing himself in the real world. Seeing himself betray his son, snap at his wife, and blindly follow a mad parrot who had betrayed him years ago made him want to strangle himself. Literally.

-Why do we even HAVE a missile ?! And why on earth would I launch it on Fred ?!

-I don’t know, but you did. But you missed it so I guess they’re okay.

No answer came from the ex-redhead who had once again curled up in a corner, whimpering.

-Oh for god’s sake Bradley, Judy scoffed, clearly annoyed by her husband, stop whining, your son nearly died !

Another sniffle, coming this time from the mayor, accompanied those from Brad.

-My poor Fred… my meddling Fred…

Cassidy sighed, before shooting an exasperated look at Judy.

-You should go talk with those two stressed out whining idiots before I whip their ass.

-Got you.

Nova observed the rest of the room with an odd look, before clearing her throat.

-Well, the important part is that we have to trust the new mystery…

But before she could actually finish her sentence, the whole room turned to her, shouting their lungs out.

-SHUT THE HELL UP !

[lizzie-is-here]

like the dawn

part ix- freefall

“i wish i had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep and there are no words for that.” - brian andreas

summary: after the avengers publicly drop the accords, you have to help pick up the mess. all while dealing with some very complicated feelings.

wordcount: 4.4k

warnings: cussing, paparazzi, the press sucking, trauma, steve feeling left out 🥺, pining, arguing, guilt, a brief moment of what could be seen as su!c!dal behavior?

a/n: sorry this took so long! also that it’s kind of random and jumps around lol. gen eds have been kicking my ass and i’ve been drowning in work but the parties here are good and i’ve managed to avoid the sororities 😭 love u guys hope you enjoy!! 🤍 also peep the parallel from when bucky and reader fell asleep on a mission and now 👀

ps: pls help decide my next series! i’ll be posting it again later to try again, but there are three options! 🤍

taglist: @whelvedfeelingsstuff @sebsgirl71479 @rebloggingmyrecs @babyblublossom @local-mr-frog @thenyxsky @capsiclesdoll @moonlightreader649 @saranghaey

previous part | series masterlist | next part

“Wait, you’re dropping the Accords?”

You huff as the group of superheroes bustle around one single board room. It’s been 20 hours since Siberia, and you still haven’t gotten to sleep.

Tony put out a formal announcement dropping the Accords hours earlier, promising that his lawyers would deal with the property damages. Now, until some of the mess gets cleared up, everyone involved is stuck.

In the Avengers Compound. Together. For at least a month.

“How do we know we can trust them?” Sam asks, flinging a hand at the other side of the room. Steve begins to explain your reasoning as you sink further into the corner. You don’t want to be seen right now, much less dragged into the conversation.

The compound is full of technology, with doors that open for you and some disembodied voice called FRIDAY. You like FRIDAY. She sounds nice.

The robot, who you now know is called the Vision, frowns. “Sergeant Barnes and Agent (L/N) have extensive charges to be dealt with, as well as most of Captain Rogers’s team. Are we sure we're going about this the right way?”

“The fact that we stay together is more important than how,” Natalia reiterates. “And besides, I know those two.” You glance up guiltily, curling even further in on yourself. “They aren’t going to pull anything.”

Tony massages the spot between his eyebrows as you’ve often seen him do lately. He hasn’t been necessarily rude, no, but more… apprehensive.

“Well, if we’re going to be stuck together, we might as well get used to it,” he announces. I’ll have FRIDAY show you all to your rooms. We can head into town tomorrow for decorations, pillows, all that fun stuff.”

You get your own room? Following the AI’s instructions, you wind down a hallway as Bucky follows you, Steve trailing along. He won’t admit it, but he feels out of place in your trio now.

As horrible as your time in HYDRA was, it undeniably strengthened the bond between you two. And Steve? He can’t help but feel a bit behind.

You and Bucky seem to communicate on some subconscious level. A brief glance and he’s getting you water, a shaky breath and you’re resting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

You open the door to your room first and practically freeze in the doorway. Yes, the room is pretty bare right now. The ceilings are noticeable though. A large, round bed with a metal frame and matching furniture fills the carpeted floors. Some curtains, a small TV, and a view over the compound grounds. Opening a door inside the room, you find a private bathroom. All your own.

You’ve never been more grateful to have a place to stay. Bucky sits on the bed tentatively, almost startling at how soft and plush it is.

“Why’s it round?” he asks, tracing the edge.

Steve chuckles. “Tony won’t admit it, but he did his research. Figured a round bed would be easier to navigate with wings.”

You want to hop on, but to be honest, you’re sweaty, greasy, and absolutely dying to see why there are two showerheads and a whole shelf of bottles, so you gesture to the bathroom.

“I’m gonna get the dirt off. I’ll be right back,” you call, wandering in and leaving your boys behind. They grin in unison.

Bucky lifts up a hand and begins to count. “1, 2, 3-“

“Steve?” Your voice echoes. “How do I turn on the shower?”

The brunet nods. “Told you.” Steve heads to the door, knocking before stepping inside. After pointing out all of the different shampoos and how to adjust the temperature, he leaves you be.

Back in your room, Bucky’s fiddling with the TV. He manages to turn it on and avoid the news channel, offering the remote to Steve. As casually as ever, he immediately identifies what’s been on the latter’s mind.

“You’re not some third wheel,” he mumbles.

“What?”

“Cut the crap, Rogers. You look like a kicked puppy.” Steve huffs, giving in. Bucky’s always been a bit too good at reading him. “I know we aren’t the exact same people we were back then. I’m not sure if that’s what you were expecting-” He clenches his metal hand. “-But we… Whatever happened, we’re still the same, on some level, at least.”

The blond considers his words. “You two just seem so… close now. Even with the whole memory thing, you know everything about each other.” He glances at your bathroom door. “I feel like I don’t know as much as I want to.”

Bucky shrugs. “Well, we’re stuck in this compound for a few weeks at least. Got plenty of time to learn.”

“It’ll take some time,” he continues, “70 years in HYDRA is no joke. But I know I trust you. And I know she trusts you. And I know we have for a long, long time.”

You step out of the bathroom just then, wrapped in a fluffy towel with a small yet beaming grin on your face. The shower was heavenly, clearly.

“Do you want some clothes?” Steve asks, watching your eyes widen further. He opens a drawer, pulling a tank top and some sweats for you. A moment later, after you change, you literally soar onto the bed face-first, sinking into the blanket with a contented sigh.

Bucky runs a hand over one wing. You cleaned your feathers, but now they need to be preened. And he did promise he’d show Steve.

“You mind if I teach Steve a valuable skill?” he asks, only half-joking. Taking care of your wings is his way of showing that he cared when words were either too much or too little. The same way you showed that you care every time you pleaded with him to heal the pain in his shoulder, even temporarily. He never did let you, though.

You nod, stretching them out with a groan. Ink-black and shimmering with hidden colors, they touch each end of the bed as they lay across Steve and Bucky’s laps.

“See feathers like this?” Bucky begins, pointing out one that got a bit rustled in the shower. He gently pinches it at the base and smooths the barbs down. “If too many get like that, it can affect waterproofing and flight.”

You snort under your breath. “Yeah, had to learn that the hard way. Ran into a window,” you huff. The brunet points to another feather.

“You try.”

Steve is beyond careful. He touches the feather like it’ll snap in his hand, smoothing it out with delicate precision. When you don’t react negatively, only reach for the remote and begin to search for a history channel, he continues.

“What’s it like? Living here?” you ask, humming softly.

Steve keeps his focus on your wings, but shrugs. “Not bad. Gets a bit loud sometimes.”

“And the team?”

“They’re good. I trust them, they do the same.” He carefully avoids the word ‘family’. “We’ll get this all sorted, and maybe we can get you a job in the infirmary or something.”

You stir. “What? No, I want to work with you. I want to get back on the field.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Steve says. “You don’t have to fight anymore, no one’s going to expect you to.”

Bucky, who had been occupied with the TV, cuts in. “She’s right. I want back in. If we have a chance to do good, and reverse some of what we did, we need to take it.”

“Exactly.” You nod, which seems to only frustrate Steve.

“Neither of you need to be charging back into a fight! You’ve been fighting for decades, you need a break.”

“You’re still raiding old HYDRA bases, correct?” you ask. The name sickens you. “We know more about… them, than anyone. We’d be valuable assets.”

Steve shakes his head. “You’re not assets,” he insists. “Why are you so set on this?”

“Because we almost killed you,” Bucky snaps. “We promised Sarah we’d keep you safe, and we were the ones who almost took you out.”

“That was in 1927, we were in fourth grade,” Steve sighs. “Plus, it was before the serum, and all-” He waves a vague hand around. “-this.”

Throughout the whole argument, neither had ceased preening your wings, and upon finding all of your feathers in place, had resorted to fiddling with them. You let out a deep groan, sitting up and folding your wings behind you.

“This is stupid. We don’t even know if we’re going to prison yet,” you mumble. “We’ve gotten you into enough trouble, Steve. We just want to help you out.”

He eases, tension leaving his shoulders. “And I just want you two to be okay. We’ll get you introduced to the modern world, and then maybe- and it’s a big maybe - we can talk about missions.”

That settles down the argument, and you lay down again between the two.

“Don’t you have a room too, Buck?” you ask. He freezes for a second, but nods. You get it. You’ve been sleeping near each other for so long that separating is scary. But it’s probably better for both of you. Probably.

Rolling from your bed, you follow Steve as he steps only two rooms down. His room is in the middle.

Bucky opens the door, pleased to find some blackout curtains already hung up. His room is similar to yours, though the bed is a bit smaller and a heating pad is folded up on the nightstand.

He’s about to lay on his own bed when a knock sounds on the door and Natalia peeks in.

“Are you all gonna come to dinner? Or are you gonna argue again?” You aren’t sure how she heard. She was always sneaky.

“We’ll come,” you say, trailing behind her as Bucky and Steve stay behind for a moment.

“So,” she says. “The Angel of Death is secretly the (Y/N) (L/N). As in, ‘the only bow sniper in World War II, first female SHIELD agent, save Director Carter herself,’ (Y/N) (L/N).”

“Between us, I always looked up to you. Especially after escaping the Red Room. I knew you were out there somewhere.”

She grins, bouncing gracefully along the halls.

“You don’t… hate me?” you venture, struggling to keep up with her pace.

She shakes her head. “No, you were just as trapped as I was. I can’t hate you for that.”

You allow a small grin to yourself, shoulders lighter as she turns a corner and enters the kitchen.

“Thanks, Natalia,” you say.

“Natasha.” She passes you a glass of water and extends a hand as if introducing herself. “Romanoff.”

You play along. “(Y/N) (L/N).”

Dinner turns out to be courtesy of Wanda, and the smell of a Sokovian dish is pleasantly overwhelming as she serves plates. Instead of a chair, she magics a tall stool over for you. You eat gratefully, enjoying your first home-cooked meal in over 70 years.

The table is separated into the previous teams, with occasional glares thrown here and there. Mainly between Steve and Tony.

“Would you two quit it?” Wanda chides. “Your thoughts are so aggressive.”

Scott Lang, mid-chew and leaning over the table, raises his hand. “So how does that work? Can you just, read everyone’s minds?” That sends an uncomfortable shiver through you. Even if she means well, you don’t want her peering into your thoughts.

Thankfully, she shakes her head.

“No, just the loud ones.” She points to Tony, Steve, Peter, and him. Then, she turns to you, Natasha, and Bucky. “I can’t read them at all.”

Bucky nods. “I doubt you’d want in there, anyways.”

———————————————————————

After dinner, you help clean up, awkwardly avoid Tony, and head to bed after saying goodnight to Steve and Bucky. You turn the TV on to a random channel for some noise, secure the room, and lay down.

Sleeping isn’t easy. Or, at least, trying to. The bed is so soft you feel like you’re sinking, the blankets are too comfortable, and your wings have a surprising amount of room.

And after you finally get close to sleep, the memories sink in. With nothing but the quiet sound from the TV, there’s nothing to distract you.

Your time in HYDRA is never clearer than at night.

Endless training regimens that you’ve memorized cycle through your head. Different experiments, new recruits fighting back but always succumbing to the iron grip of the guards. And screaming. Lots of it.

How you forgot the names of your best friends when one was right in front of you and the other was a national hero. How scared you are that you’ll forget them again. Your hand twitches towards the nightstand drawer where your notebooks lie.

Pages and pages describing them both, with every memory you have in some attempt to never forget them, no matter what happens.

But what if HYDRA gets you? What if they put you back in that goddamn chair and scramble your brain again?

What if they don’t stop you in time?

Your mental spiral is cut off by you doing what you know best. Hopping out of bed and summoning a ball of light, you walk down the hallway to Bucky’s room.

He opens the door before you even knock. As silent as your footsteps are, enhanced hearing picks up everything.

“You too?” You nod. Glancing towards Steve’s room, he slips into Russian.

“Он чувствует себя... изолированным. Мы можем… [He’s been feeling… isolated. Can we…]?” He waves a hand to Steve’s door, wordlessly asking if you’re okay with opening this part of yourself up to him. Without hesitation, you knock.

Clearly, Steve wasn’t getting much sleep either. His lamp is on and he doesn’t seem shocked to see you waiting.

None of you say anything as he lets you both in, tosses the covers on his bed back, and turns off his lamp. You crawl in on one side, Bucky on the other- just like before when you’d keep Steve warm when the heat kicked off and his countless illnesses kicked on.

You feel an arm wrap around your shoulders and you reach across the blond to lay a hand on the brunet’s shoulder.

And you sleep. And in the morning, when the rest of the team comes looking and find the three of you peacefully tucked under the covers, none of them wake you either.

———————————————————————

It’s three days later, after keeping up the same routine with your boys without acknowledging it, when you run into Tony in the early morning. You’re standing in the kitchen, frozen on the spot as you grab the orange juice.

The genius never seemed to sleep. But you’d never run into him.

“I’m not gonna tackle you for getting a drink, geez,” he mutters, passing you to start the coffee maker.

You pour three glasses, hoping he doesn’t notice. He does, but doesn’t comment.

“Thank you.” You barely speak above a whisper. You’re living in his compound, off of his money, after killing his parents. “For all of this.”

Tony softens. From his dad and his history books, he’d formed an idea of you that was confident and proud. But here you were in the kitchen, afraid of pouring too much orange juice lest there isn’t enough for someone else.

The way you and Bucky have been trying to make yourselves as small as possible reminds Tony of himself. Howard was a busy man, who didn’t really want a toddler running around his legs. So young Tony learned to stay quiet and undisruptive.

It’s the same behavior, even if it doesn’t work as well for a metal-armed assassin and an archer with a ten-foot wingspan.

“You’re welcome,” he finally says. “You know, if you drink all the orange juice, all I’m gonna do is send you and Barnes and Noble on a grocery run.” The teasing is his way of apologizing for the fight in Siberia. Even if he isn’t ready to forgive the other two, he’s willing to give you a pass.

Tony leaves without another word, taking his coffee with him. Balancing the drinks in your arms, you head back to Steve’s room. When you open the door, your boys are already up. A side effect of the serum; you needed much less sleep.

“Morning,” they greet. You smile, passing off the glasses as you stretch. Being stuck inside has started to bother you. Not that you’d complain, but without access to the gym (which is constantly full of nosy SHIELD agents) or outside, you’re getting a bit antsy.

Peeking through the curtains to the compound grounds, you turn away from the window just as Bucky and Steve get up and start getting ready. None of you have even spoken about the sleeping situation.

Falling asleep is easier with them. Breathing is easier with them. Everything is.

Maybe it’s time to stop avoiding the subject of those letters you wrote.

“There’s a team meeting this morning,” Steve calls from the bathroom. “Apparently, we got some updates on what we’re allowed to do now. Hopefully we can get you guys out of this compound for the day.”

“Where’d we go?” Bucky asks, pressing the knots out of his left shoulder.

“Well, there’s always this museum in Brooklyn. Whole thing’s based on us there.”

You tear your eyes away from the shirtless brunet. “We’ve got a museum?”

“Yeah. Replica of our apartment, some old items of ours. Plus, we’ve got an exhibit in the Smithsonian. Your lockbox is there.”

The box. You had thought it’d been destroyed.

“They didn’t open it, did they?” Steve shakes his head.

“They’ve got the key, but kept it locked out of respect. Especially now that you’re back.” Thank fuck. You might have to go and get that back if you aren’t tossed in prison.

Bucky finally picks a shirt and tugs it on. “That’d be nice. Might go crazy if I have to talk to Wilson anymore.”

“Go easy on him, he’s trying to be nice,” you tell him.

You take your time getting ready, lazily navigating around each other as the sun rises and the compound starts getting busier. Around 7:00, you decide to head to the designated board room.

After a few days, you’ve gotten much better at navigating the compound. The Avengers’ meeting room is one of many down the hall from the first floor elevators, the third room on the left with the door always left open.

Meetings and dinner are the only times the whole group is together. Probably for the best, since some members have been going a bit stir-crazy.

The teen, Peter, spends most of his time around Tony, but when he isn’t following the billionaire he’s talking to you, Steve, or Bucky. Something about how he can pass US History now that he knows you.

Scott Lang has resorted to sleight-of-hand card tricks, practicing them for anyone who will watch. He’s pretty good, all things considered.

Everyone else has been doing alright with the confined space. Except you, you’re reminded as your wings ache.

You’re the first ones to arrive, shortly followed by the assassin duo and Sam. Everyone else filters in shortly after, with Tony arriving last with a new cup of coffee.

“Well, we’re starting the day off with some good news. We’re allowed to leave the Compound now, just not go out of state.”

When no one else asks, you give in. “And the bad news?”

He sighs. “Lots of that. Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross is pressing charges. I’ve got my team on it, but…” Hesitating, he projects a screen. Holographic. You try your best to focus on the video and not the tech.

“National War Heroes Sgt. James Barnes and Agent (Y/N) (L/N) were found to be the infamous Winter Soldier and Angel of Death just a year ago. Now, they’ve gotten involved with the Avengers, and the most recent dispute over the Accords, which would put the Avengers under control of the United Nations.”

“Earlier this week, Tony Stark announced that the Avengers would not be supporting the Accords, and is moving to gain the rights to operate independently. But with the track record of Barnes and (L/N), it’s not proving to be an easy task.”

The newsreel cuts away from the woman, showing a march at a Texas courthouse. Some people carried signs calling you a traitor, pictures of you and Bucky with marks drawn through them. They labeled you murderers and monsters.

Neither of you says anything about it. Just exchange a glance and try to ignore the familiarity of the words they shout.

“Only time can tell how this will end for Earth’s Mightiest Heroes,” the reporter finishes.

Your stomach turns. You can feel the lingering eyes as you hunch in on yourself, staring at the expensive-looking table and tracing the lines in the wood. Your wings twitch, giving you away.

“Hey, the good news is that a bunch of people are supporting us,” Peter says, checking his phone. “There’s a few petitions going for the team and you two.” You smile gratefully, still worrying a line into the table.

“What can we do to make this easier?” you ask.

Tony sighs. “We need to get the public opinion of you up. If we send you out for errands and you make a good impression with the press…” He trails off as Bucky grows visibly nervous. “...If you’re willing to try it, it’s worth a shot.”

You nod. “I will. If it helps you, I’ll try.”

“I can come too, just to help mediate if something goes wrong,” Steve offers, mainly directing his words to the brunet who won’t look up from his left hand.

Bucky steels his nerves and nods. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll do it.”

Sam speaks up, gesturing to the team. “So, now that we’re not stuck lazing around, shouldn’t we get back to training? Having a routine will help with whatever’s coming and exercise is a good outlet.”

“Plus it’s a chance to get you flying again,” Steve says. “I know your wings are sore.”

The group starts putting together a workout circuit, scheduling who gets the gym at what times, who wants to train with who. The weather outside is pleasant, not too hot, and with a light fog covering the grounds.

Slipping away, you wander around until you glance to the ceiling. “Hey, FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Ms. (L/N)?” You smile at her gentle voice.

“Where’s the nearest roof access?”

She guides you down a few hallways, eventually pointing out a stairwell. When you finally open the door to the roof, stretching your wings wide, you nearly sob in relief. In HYDRA, you only flew when you had to. But flying for yourself had become one of your favorite things ever since Bucky suggested it as a way to reclaim that part of yourself.

Bending your knees, you launch yourself into the air, squinting against the wind as you rise in the early light. The air is heavy with dew, and condensation runs off your feathers as you reach your desired height.

And you drop.

Freefalling is a moment of peace. It’s absolute bliss to give into gravity and have a moment of true, stomach-dropping exhilaration. It’s not fear, it’s not joy. But it makes you feel human.

It never lasts long, though. You spread your wings and break the fall right above the compound, swerving around the building. You don’t notice that the door you left triggered a notification to the board room or the team watching.

Unaware of them, you loop and spin to your heart’s content before landing back on the roof. Shaking the water from your wings, you hurry back down the stairwell and back to the team.

Thankfully, they don’t mention seeing your little joyride. You slide back onto a stool and apologize for running off.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ve been cooped up long enough,” Natasha grins. “We were just discussing when to send you three out.”

“And since we’re out of milk because someone-” Tony glares pointedly at Scott. “-has a cereal addiction, we figured today would be good.”

That’s sooner than you thought. Well, best to get it over with.

———————————————————————

You let Steve drive. He knows his way through the city and is the least prone to road rage, so you take the back seat while Bucky takes the front and mans the radio.

Steve pulls up by a grocery store and grabs the list, warning you about the paparazzi before he opens the door and a crowd descends on you.

You dodge eager hands as they reach for your wings and Bucky’s arm. Cameras flash as you try not to look too panicked for the photos.

“Ms. (L/N)! Is it true you were brainwashed under HYDRA?” Glancing to Steve, he nods in approval.

You lean towards the microphone as the reporters also lean in.

“Yes, that’s true.”

They scramble at your words and you flinch away, backing into your friends.

“What do you mean by that?” one asks.

Clearing your throat, the words flow easier as you go on. “HYDRA perfected a form of electric-shock treatment that could brainwash us when combined with trigger words.”

Even though they continue to press for more quotes to take out of context, you make it inside the store and finally get to breathe. Sure, you’ve been in groceries before, but the variety in the 21st century continues to amaze you.

While Steve works his way down the list, methodically stacking the products in the two carts, you and Bucky go a bit crazy. With his permission, you both grab things at random, tossing them into the cart with no regard to Steve’s organization.

By the time you check out, you’ve grabbed marshmallow fluff, a mango, a few chocolate bars, and some ice cream. Flinching at the price, you help carry the bags to the car to make up for the extra items.

It’s drizzling and the sidewalks are much less busy now, and no one approaches you as you sit in the car peacefully.

“I’m glad to have you two back,” Steve says eventually. ‘I care about you more than you know, and I’ll fight every government in the world if I have to,’ he thinks.

“I’m glad to be back,” Bucky agrees. “We got pretty lucky. We all made it back together in alright shape.”

You feel more at home than ever. It’s an all-encompassing sort of comfort that you don’t have the words to express. It’s the being carried to bed and being given the last bite of food kind of feeling. It’s knowing that you’re cared for, and wanted, and-

You know the closest word to describe it, but don’t dare utter it.

Instead, you smile, think about the letters in the lockbox, and watch as cars pass by.

“Well. the universe couldn’t keep us apart forever. We made a pinkie promise, after all.”