#edit: why is it always the posts i don't bother to edit that just. take off without me noticing

[antennatoheaven]

trying to sell the murderbot diaries to other robot fans is an uphill battle. yes, i also prefer it when my robots don't have human looking faces. i understand why you might not be happy with its appearance, but guess who's also not happy with having a human face

[shanastoryteller]

why isn't shanastoryteller's tumblr writing on ao3?

i've been asked this before, and i've gotten asked this a handful more times in just the past week, so

i'm going to link this post in my pinned post so it hopefully comes up a little less. i'm going to go through my answer in a detailed way that isn't necessarily all directed towards anyone who has asked some variation of this recently or ever, i'm just trying to be thorough to answer this for the (hopefully) last time

first there's the issue of formatting. there's pretty much no way to move what's at this point about 2,000 prompts over to ao3 in a way that isn't deeply annoying to myself, other users, and anyone who's subscribed to me. i'm not interested in making a new "chapter" for just a couple hundred words, i'm not going to tag 100 fandoms on one work, i don't want have to go to ao3 after every prompt cycle and copy and paste the prompts into the fic, whether that be as a new chapter or just editing a story to contain new material. the masterlist and updating the google doc already takes a decent amount of time and having to do this on ao3 would be both finnicky and time consuming and there's no way to set it up that i wouldn't find myself irritated with the prompts being on my profile period

however, most importantly, it just doesn't jive with how i use each of these websites

ao3 is an archive and dumping all my random prompts on there is an appropriate use for it. however. it's not how i personally prefer to use each site and just because something can go on ao3 does not mean i'm required to put it there

tumblr is my sketchbook and ao3 is my art gallery

the prompts and snippets and random crap i post here isn't thought out, don't necessarily have an overarching plot, or any real substance to them besides the scenes. they're fun, they're usually low effort, and they're things i work on without any real expectation that they'll spawn into a full, fully plotted story or at least not one i'm committed to writing out. i don't like having unfinished works on ao3 and i try really hard not to. if i'm posting something to ao3, that's me making a commitment to eventually (EVENTUALLY!!) completing it and having all my random, messy, incomplete prompts and scraps on there would 100% stress me out

like how sketches often become full pieces, it's not uncommon for a prompt series or random writing to turn into a full fic that gets fleshed out / expanded and put on ao3

The Great Puzzle, wing bones touching, Snakelet, Here Be Dragons, Become Tomorrow, shrine or scar, that is a door, Cartwheels in Cloud Recesses, Ghosts Shouldn't, Little Lion Boy, and Despite the Abundance all started on tumblr

but even in cases where i found a big chunk of the tumblr writings usable and worth keeping, it's not a matter of just copy and pasting it over and calling it a day. a full fic and and a series of random prompts or whatever scenes i've written on here isn't necessarily how i would choose to tell a longform story, so transporting them over always entails a fairly large amount of work on my end

in the case of the great puzzle, i used all that i'd written, it was just the commitment and plot to writing the story through. for wing bones touching, i'm using most of what's already been written, but there's a lot of connective tissue and build up to earn the payoff that i hadn't bothered to write when it was just a prompt series that now has to be put in

there are some series where this is easier than others. the azula and zuko series, for example, would have to be written almost entirely from scratch. it encompasses a huge amount of time and action and earns pretty much none of it - because the format means it doesn't have to.

living blood is one that i'm thinking will probably end up on ao3 at some point because i've written a lot of the connective tissue and build up into it already so it's not such a huge effort to polish it up

"but you don't have to polish it up!" i can hear you saying. "you can just post it as is!"

i said it above and i'll say it again: i could. but i don't want to

i'm saying this with all the kindness and appreciation for your interactions and your comments and your readership but: not everything is about you

i link all the previous prompts in the most recent one. i make a masterlist after every prompt cycle. i have every prompt linked out in the google doc

i'm not opposed to making things easier for your guys, and have spent a lot of time doing so, but i'm completely uninterested in moving my prompts and random writings over to ao3 for all the reasons laid out above, and being asked repeatedly isn't going to change my answer

if you think those reasons are stupid and inadequate and it makes you mad, the good news is this: you don't have to follow me and you don't have to read my work. you're completely and totally free to opt out of this experience

if you find navigating prompts as i have them laid out to be too cumbersome and difficult then, kindly, don't read them

i'm not a professional, a company, or a celebrity. this blog and my writing is neither a product nor a service

the point where prompts are more stressful and irritating than they are fun, the point where sharing scraps of my writing becomes something that turns into an obligation or a drag or too much work, is the point where i stop doing it

[iamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

Obey Me Brothers and when you feeling their sin turns them on

So as a community we’ve mostly assumed that the brothers can feel when we use or feel their sin so what about times when they get turned on when feeling you feel their sin their certain times

Btw this was written so fast it’s not even funny, it just took me a lot of time to edit and post to tumblr because I wrote this all in one day in one session

TW: GN!Reader, Nsfw not actually in there but is heavily implied and meantioned(I mean look at the title dude)

Lucifer

Lucifer gets harder when he sees and feels how prideful you are when you bottom out on dick, and gets hard when he knows you’re doing indecent stuff with his brothers and feel pride. The thought of you feeling his sin while doing something so sinful turns him on so quick

Mammon

Mammon, when he has to go somewhere with someone or for something but you don’t want him to go because he’s yours and you want him, want him now, want him under you in your arms because you’re greedy and right now you don’t want to share your first man. That gets Mammon rock fucking hard and when you are just being greedy without meaning to fuck him well he ignores that raging hard-on for more time with you. Hey, he can be greedy too~

Leviathan

Levi (Funnily enough this was just going to be a Levi thing because he’s my fave and I started off thinking/daydreaming about this idea with him but there’s potential with all the brothers), when you feel envious of whoever is with him. He feels you being envious of something or someone and turns around to look at what you’re jealous of only to see that you’re already looking in his direction, he freaks out wondering what he did only to realize the focus isn’t on him but on the person that’s with him right now instead of you and that immediately makes his cock rock hard. You mean you want to be with this smelly loser otaku and that you’re jealous of the person whose with him right now hoooooooly fuck. Also when you see his body and the rock hard abs he has despite gaming 24/7 and not doing anything compared to your body that even if you tried to reach his figure the slightest thing done wrong or not managed properly will ruin that figure gets him so fucking hard because you want his body? Holy shit you want to be like him, you want him, you’re jealous of him, well come on MC there’s something else on his body you should look at, won’t you come and see?

Satan

Satan similar to Levi gets turned on when you’re pissed at someone for being with him, or bothering him when you have his attention. You feel this for him? You’re pissed that you can’t have him all for yourself? Don’t worry you can spend all the time you want with him in his room, and while you guys are there why don’t you take care of the boner you gave him with your cute little anger. Gets hard when arguing with you, the wrath and anger you are sending in his direction is absolutely fucking delicious, he just fuck it out of you to make you pliant and calm to his whims. Satan also gets hard when you’re pissed at him for not giving you attention, well, if it’s attention you want then it’s attention you have hun! Don’t worry you’ll get love soon.

Asmodeous

Asmo is always horny and he definitely gets hard or harder when feeling your lust, you want to fuck don’t you? You want loving, don't you? Don’t worry if someone is not providing it for you he’s there to help you with it, and even if you are being assisted you’ll still find him there lurking and ready to pounce once he gets the chance to. As the avatar of lust he feels it the most and makes it his duty for it to all be okay~

Beelzebub

Beelzebub’s is when you’re already fucked out but you want more, you want more of whatever they can give you whether it’s in a sex scenario or a regular scenario, seeing you want more and more and more gets him going, you’re just like him right now, hungering for more and more even if you might not be able to take it and seeing as he’s a big boy that thought gets his dick really hard. Good luck with whatever hole you’re dealing with, or Beel’s dealing with.

Belphie

Belphie is when you’re so tired but so determined to do what you want when fucking, it’s cute to him that you’re fighting sleep because you’re so determined and so want to fuck, awwww such a little minx you are. Also loves when you’re tired and wants to fuck but has him do the work for once in his life, ofc he’ll do the week for his sleepy darling. He especially gets hard though when you’re asleep and you have wet dreams or just become incredibly horny in your sleep, because he feels that lust mixing in with your sleepy tiredness. The things you do to this sleepy boy makes him not so sleepy anymore you know~

Taglist: @kisakis-boyfriend

[bookished]

( a collection of jock x nerd dialogue prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post <3 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips

"You think you're so smart, huh?" "Well, statistically speaking, my GPA says I am."

"Okay, so you're good at math. But can you explain why my heart races whenever you walk into the room?" "Biologically, I suppose adrenaline might— Wait, are you flirting?"

"This is ridiculous. You shouldn’t be lifting me like that!" "Hey, you’re light as a feather! Besides, I just wanted to show you what strength feels like."

"You know, you’d make a great quarterback with how fast you solve problems." "And you’d make a great nerd if you applied that logic to your studies."

"Let me guess, you failed another test?" "Nah, just looking for an excuse to talk to the smartest person in the room."

"You might be a brainiac, but I could definitely teach you a thing or two about confidence." "Confidence? Or arrogance?"

"I don’t understand why you keep sitting next to me in class. You don't even take notes!" "Maybe I’m here for the view… or maybe I trust your brain to get us both through."

"For someone who’s supposed to be so smart, you’re missing something really obvious." "And what’s that?" leans closer "How bad I want to kiss you right now."

"You’re like a puzzle I can’t solve." "That’s because you’re not thinking hard enough." "Maybe I’m just distracted by how cute the puzzle is."

"You’re too focused. Ever thought about focusing on something… or someone… else?" "And who would that be?" smirks "Maybe you should figure that out."

"Bet I can make you blush before you can solve that equation." "Highly unlikely—" blushes "Told you."

"You're not my type." "And yet, here I am, making you smile like I am."

"You look like you could use a break. How about we grab some coffee? My treat." "You sure you’re not just trying to steal my notes?" "Nah, just trying to steal your attention for a little while."

"If you keep looking this cute when you're annoyed, I might just have to irritate you more often." "You’re infuriating." "But I’m charming, too, right?"

"Do you ever take anything seriously?" "I’m serious about getting you to go out with me. That counts, right?"

"You’ve got those smarts, but I’ve got… other talents." "Like what, being a distraction?" "If that's what it takes to get your attention."

"Why are you always bothering me during study time?" "Because watching you concentrate is kinda… hot."

"You know, you’ve got a lot of facts in that head of yours. Think any of them could explain why I keep thinking about you?" "That’s probably an overproduction of dopamine and— wait, are you hitting on me?"

"You're in my space." "Maybe your space is where I want to be."

"I think I just figured out the formula for attraction." "Attraction isn't a formula." "It is when you're involved."

"You know, if I ever wanted to impress you, I’d have to learn some big words, huh?" "It’s not the words you use that impress me… it’s what you do with them."

[sleepyvib-es]

Hey, sorry to bother you if you're busy but what is going on with the aparent pjo script leaks rn?

Hey <3 so apparently some scenes of Nico's script got leaked and from the post i saw, they describe them as "Nico is more stoic and serious from the get-go while Bianca is more brave and outgoing." Bianca apparently remembers their childhood but Nico does not. He feels like he's "living in his sister's shadow" (set up for that one Hades scene maybe but with tv show Hades also having different personality I don't know how that's going to work). Bianca is apparently Percy's age and had a personality shift as well.

We don't know if the leaks are real or not but Becky did make a comment that has a lot of people thinking that there is a high possibility of all this being true.

EDIT: It's important to note that even if the script leaks are real, it doesn't mean they're final. Things can very well be different by the time s3 airs!

I went back and read the first few chapters to refresh my memory on how they were both described when we first meet them:

As we know from the titan's curse, nico was this happy ten year old kid (according to grover) who was excited to know that the gods, monsters, and heroes from his favorite game were actually real. What makes Nico's arc in the books so heartbreaking is that he did not start out as being pessimistic and sad. Nico di Angelo as a character was a breath of fresh air. This was a happy kid who had his child-like innocence taken from him the moment he found out his sister was dead. It's important that Nico starts out as hopeful and as happy as he did in the books because not only is this such an important aspect of his character but also because this was the first time the audience experiences a major character death and it really hammers in how utterly fucked up it is to be a demigod (if the first 2 books didn't convince you of that).

I want to also note that even though we remember him as being happy, Nico was still a kid. Nico was scared.

I'm just highlighting this because I feel like a lot of people forget. Moments before he was the excited kid who was amazed that all of this was real, he was a scared child first.

Even when standing up for his sister. What about these scenes give the impression that he is stoic and serious and not nervous and afraid?

To these changes I'll say: why are we doing this? why are we meshing nico's, i guess you could say future(?), outward personality with the one he had before experiencing the Horrors. I say this lightly because nico from the books was never a rude character. He was never someone that needed to be taught how to politely talk to people or make conversation. This is the same character that befriended a goddess, who was the first to notice her when no one else has. Nico having a bright personality when we meet him and still being so full of hope and kindness even after everything that happens to him is so important to me.

Bianca in the books was rightfully a bit more cautious. She was the one who would ask questions before accepting everything that these literal strangers were telling her.

Bianca worried. She had no choice but to be the caretaker, the responsible older sister who always needed to keep herself and her brother safe. Bianca is indeed brave in the way she demands answers from Dr. Thorn (the manticore) and everyone else but it wasn't because she was a girlboss tm. It's because she had to be:

But despite all of that, despite being bold enough to demand answers, she was still scared.

And for as much responsibility she carried, she was still just a child. She was this 12 year old kid and her being this young with so much on her shoulders while having absolutely no support system is quite literally relevant to her character like this is literally the reason why she joined the hunters:

Bianca being percy's age doesn't take away from how heartbreaking her story is but it does make me wonder why. Why are we aging her up? Is it too much for the audience to see the reality she faced for what it is? Is it easier if Bianca is portrayed as a 14 year old girlboss and not as the 12 year old child she so clearly was? This isn't me saying that all of this is okay to go through as long as you're 14+ btw because obviously not but it does make me question the writers. The books were targeted towards kids as well so saying "oh it's for kids of course they're toning down the horrors" as reasoning for all this falls flat to me personally.

Also, I understand wanting to make bianca a more well rounded character (there is valid criticism of how her character was handled in the books) but do the writers really only have one way of "adding depth" to their female characters? I haven't seen the full script and this may very well all be fake but it's like... if there's one thing the books got right, it's that these kids were allowed to be scared. Bianca was allowed to be worried about her first quest considering her lack of experience. She was the one, along with her brother, who needed to be saved from the manticore! and that's okay.

It doesn't make it anti-feminist to show female characters needing to be saved. It doesn't make it anti-feminist if your female character does not start out as badass and brave. It doesn't make it anti-feminist for the new girl to be less experienced or less knowledgeable of the world she just found out is real compared to the main characters. May I repeat, this is a child. A 12 year old child who was asked to make a choice right after witnessing another child fall off a cliff. Bianca was hardly given any time to process everything that had just happened, and then she makes a choice for herself that strained her relationship with her brother right before she was picked to go on a doomed quest. Bianca di Angelo should be allowed to feel scared, relieved, anxious, angry, sad, and confused and still be a strong female character.

To put it simply: everything we've seen so far from leaks is a mess. The way the di angelo siblings are described does not stay true to their characters from when they make their first appearance. Fans are rightfully upset at all these (supposed) changes because I mean... these are characters we've known and loved for nearly two decades. We love them just as they are. Nico's introduction to the story is iconic. I can't for the life of me imagine why anyone in the writer's room would want to ruin such a solid character lmao

Another reason why people are complaining is because if the leaks are real, it means that Will Solace apparently makes an appearance in s3. If we consider the timeline from the books, Will isn't a character until the last olympian. It seems like the writers are speed running solangelo, just as they did in s1 for percabeth. I personally would have liked to see Will as his own individual character first. If we had to have will appear earlier than he did in the books, I would have loved to see him as a background character (same with charles, silena, etc). It would be nice to see will as a camper, a younger brother, a friend first before immediately pairing him up with nico. Again, I don't know how it all will play out in the show but having the first time we meet will also be the first time he meets nico just feels ... rushed? fan servicey? I say this as someone who loves both these characters and ships them.

As a fan of bianca, nico, and will I want better for these characters. I want the source material to be respected. There is a way to move them from one medium to another without drastically changing who they are. Also this is a personal pet peeve of mine but richard please not everyone meets their soulmate when they're 12-14. The first person you befriend does not have to be your future lover. I see a lot of fans being excited for this because they get to make cute tiktok edits of their favorite characters and ships and like ... sure. okay. Do you not care that they fundamentally aren't the same characters you know and love though?

[shin-zaibatsu]

I don't understand why game devs even bother putting depth of field, motion blur, bloom, and other post-processing like that in their games when it almost ALWAYS looks fucking horrible. Like I get it with older games due to console limitations, they had to rely on having a good art style to carry the visuals, and sometimes having blur can add to it, or depth of field, etc, it mattered more because you couldn't turn it off so they had to make sure it looked good. Instead of now any moron with UE5 can just slap motion blur and bloom on their game and call it good (and if you don't like it just turn it off loll!!!, why is it even in the game then?)

if I'm playing a game I want visual clarity, I want to see everything, blur and depth of field just covers it up, bloom is blinding, chromatic aberration is just pointless, god rays and lens distortion are also horrible to look at too because even though it's supposed to be "cinematic" or whatever, it's just taking something that's an error in film-making and making it an intentional choice, and it looks like shit, lmao

edit: not only that a lot of post-processing like that can make your game run worse!!!!!!!!!!

[aevellewritessometimes]

It's Us Who Made This Mess

Part Three, at last; the bitch that didn't allow me to have any good ideas for a week straight only to suddenly give me a burst of inspiration so strong that I managed to write this whole thing within one sitting. So if this ends up being the worst one, that's why and I apologize lmao.

Content Warnings: It's the alleyway scene, so Vere jokes about eating you. Canon-typical swearing and mentions of death. Vere has a panic attack and there is a very, very brief implication of accidental self-harm.

Other: And the overuse of italics returns! Word Count: 2k

This work may be edited in the future if I discover any previously missed typos or content warnings. This work will not be cross-posted anywhere and I will make a direct announcement if that ever changes. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

The streets behind the Wick were as dead as the bar was crowded. A cold breeze cut through the humid air. The further they walked, the more muffled the Wick's racket became, until the only sounds were their subtle breaths and footsteps.

He stopped at an alleyway. They were alone. Nobody would bother them, and nobody would bear witness. His shadow stretched over the cobbled street in the moonlight, practically devouring the outsider whole.

"You had questions. Ask." His breath misted in the cold air as he spoke, "Quickly. I've got a show to attend. Heavenly lutist, as I'm sure I mentioned."

He already knew for a fact that he did. He simply wanted to test them; to see if they ignored everything he said earlier or is they only ignored his warning.

They were clearly peeved by his attitude---they had been since he met them, actually. But clearly they needed information, and he was happy to provide some. Of course, it would only be vague details, but if all went according to plan, it would be enough to bait them into telling him a secret or two of their own.

He expected the outsider to ask about the Senobium. Or about him, at least. Instead, they wasted his precious time by asking about the others. As much as he disliked thinking about most them---other than Ais, that is---in general, something about the outsider's curiosity of them had him particularly irked.

Vere didn't want to look too closely into why their interest in the others pissed him off so much. He just told himself that it was because he was in a hurry, and they were wasting his time.

It didn't take long for him to grow bored of it, letting out a growl. "Don't you dare ask me about another soul. I haven't got all night for idle gossip."

"But I wasn't finished asking---"

"You get two more questions. Make them count."

He wasn't actually planning on counting any questions. The poor thing just happened to look somewhat cute when their brows scrunched up in frustration.

Their eyes narrowed slightly, exasperated, as they asked their first question "Leander told me that the Senobium imprisons people. Did he mean you?"

Of course, he gets stuck talking about Leander anyway. "Leander's a moaning fool with a throbbing victim complex. He loves to see himself as a savior, but the only difference his cronies and the Senobium's stooges are the uniforms."

A subtle wince spread over their features, showing some mild concern at his words. Fair enough, considering where they're apparently sleeping tonight---if they make it out of the alleyway alive, that is.

"You're asking who, when you should be asking why." Maybe that will be enough o a hint for them to actually ask about him directly.

"Says the asshole counting my questions." Their scowl returned to to their face.

Vere only smirked in response, and they rolled their eyes at him.

They sighed. "Fine. Why were you imprisoned?"

"For the same reason they'll disappear you given half the chance; I'm something special." He gathered up his hair, pushing it behind his back and craned his neck, inviting them to have a closer look. "See this collar?Looks unremarkable, doesn't it?"

They didn't say anything. Instead, they started reaching towards the buckle.

Wrong move.

His hand lashed out, grabbing their wrist before their hand could get too close. He could've easily snapped their bones, but he chose to be merciful, and instead only held their wrist with just enough pressure to scare them a little.

It was the second mercy he's granted them tonight. And no matter how interesting they were, he wouldn't be granting them a third chance. Really, they were lucky he was even generous enough to offer them the second.

He tutted like a scolding teacher. "Don't you know better than to touch without asking?"

"You didn't ask first, so why should I?"

He grins. "because I said so."

"That's not very fair."

A surge of anger began to slowly rise through him at that. "Fuck fairness. Life's not fair."

If life were, he wouldn't even be here, talking with the pesky little outsider. If life was fair, he wouldn't even be Eridia. Shit, Eridia probably wouldn't have even existed. If life were fair, then he wouldn't have been imprisoned by those fucking mages. If life were fair, he wouldn't have killed you that day. If life were fair, you would've died from either old age or some incurable illness, because he would've been able to protect you from an unnatural death.

He closed his eyes, silently pushing his rage to the back of his mind. He's had years to hone and sharpen it into a weapon deadlier than he was, and it wouldn't do him any good to waste it on one, insignificant human when there were plenty others more deserving of it.

"Patience… I'll tell you when and how you can touch me." He opened his eyes, staring into their startled ones, getting another view of the agony writhing within their soul. "Behave, or I'll make you bleed."

"…Is that a threat, or a promise?"

It was both, but he didn't say that out loud as he released their wrist. They began to smooth down the bandages covering their arm, glancing at him though the corner of their eye.

"Are you saying that's what'll happen to me if the Senobium finds out I'm… different? I'll be collared?"

"Doubtful. they keep me around because I'm the best at what I do."

They were looking him straight in the eye now. "And what, exactly, do you do so well?"

"Killing." His answer wasn't hesitant in the slightest. "As long as I wear this collar, I'm made to hunt the Senobium's dizzying array of enemies: Monsters, Soulless, noisy dissidents who grow overbold… I'm bound by their will until the day I die."

He liked to pretend that he was only saying that last bit for dramatic flair. He didn't like to acknowledge just how little hope he had in any chance of freedom.

"That's… awful."

Hah. They have no idea.

"It is, isn't it?" He internally shook off his brooding mood, "And that's all you're getting from me. I really must leave now. I'll be late."

"That's it? Why'd you bring me out here if you weren't going to explain anything?!"

He laughed, allowing it to sound a bit more like his genuine laughter as opposed to the smooth chuckle he's been practicing over the years. "Isn't it obvious? I wanted to lure you out here alone so I could eat you."

They tensed up immediately. "You're lying again."

They were only half-right. Less than that, really. There's been a pit of hunger that's been growing within him since he was captured, and flesh was usually one of the best ways to sate it, even temporarily.

"And you're asking far too many questions for hiding so much."

They quickly hid their hands deep into the pockets of their cloak. "What makes you think I'm hiding anything?"

"Would you like me to list the obvious indicators first?" He asked sarcastically, staring pointedly at their arms, "The bandages, to be specific. Not exactly subtle, after all." He glanced back up at their eyes, "I'll be going… unless you're willing to share some morsels with me?"

As much as he talked about wanting to be elsewhere, he really wasn't actually planning on leaving until he got something out of them.

They hesitated. "I can't tell you anything."

He felt his ears flatten on his head. For fuck's sake. "Wrong. You can start with what you are."

They step backwards, trying to get away from them, bumping into the wall behind them. Vere moves forward in lockstep. They try to turn, but instead of a way out, they only find his arm, trapping them against the wall.

Finally, they were right where he wanted them.

He reached for them, lifting their chin and forcing them to meet his eyes.

"Would you believe me if I said the eyes are the windows to the soul?" Their eyelid twitched, and he smiled, "Cliche, I know, but let me tell you a little secret..."

He leaned in, close enough for his eyelashes to flutter against their cheek.

"There's nothing you can hide from me."

He was staring straight into their eyes now. Straight into them. Straight into the sweet, agonizing suffering that wrapped around their soul the way a ribbon wrapped around a box of chocolates.

"The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search to no end…"

All that from which he listed only came from the more recent suffering they've endured. It was almost like a thick shield, hiding both the true nature of their soul and the strange, seemingly ancient suffering that seemed to be latched deeper in.

"I could give you something new to live for…"

It was a dangerous promise, but it wasn't like they could do anything to force him into keeping it.

They swallowed, skeptical and afraid. He didn't mind their lack of response; it only allowed him to focus on looking deeper.

The ancient strand of suffering was particularly enticing; like nothing he's ever seen before. He could practically feel it trying to pull him closer.

"All that suffering has made your soul so irresistible…"

He searched deeper through the wall of suffering, just trying to catch a better glance at what was being hidden behind all the betrayal.

Then, at last---

A chain clinking as he was escorted through the dim, dank hallway.

A door hinge creaked as a cell was opened, revealing a familiar figure chained to the far wall.

An order to kill.

The sounds of screaming and bones snapping and flesh ripping.

The sound of someone's last breaths

---he had his answer.

He was wrong. This strange, ancient suffering; ancient betrayal… he had seen it before.

He saw it in your eyes as you died in a puddle of your own blood that day.

His blood froze. His heart started to speed up. The fur on his tail began to stick up.

No. No, no. Nonononono---

"Y-You're late… the l-lutist!"

Their---your---panicked little reminder was enough for him to snap out of it.

He blinked, desperately attempting to recompose himself before you noticed anything was off. "Shame."

He let go of your chin and backed away. You slumped against the wall, now gasping for air.

He could only hope he didn't look the same way; frightened, like a rabbit caught in a hunter's snare.

He wracked his brain, trying desperately to find something to say or do that wouldn't give him or any of his emotions away; then he heard Leander' voice, calling out your name, echoing through the empty streets.

Once he noticed that it grabbed your attention, he quietly made his way to the shadowy back end of the alleyway, disappearing into the dark before you could even blink.

-=-=-=-=-=-

He didn't have to run for too long; he knew the city well enough to find somewhere both decently distanced from the alleyway and hidden enough for it to be unlikely for someone to stumble on.

He found himself behind a bakery, trembling; his heart pounding so loud he was almost afraid that the stray cat sleeping in the gutters above him was able to hear it. Chills raced through his blood. His chest heaved from lack of air, but his lungs refused to let any more in. He felt dizzy, and had to slump down to the muddy ground in order to avoid falling over.

He hated this feeling. He could only recall feeling it twice: the first being after he killed you, and the second being when a century had passed without there being even half of a solid chance of real freedom.

Even though he didn't get the feeling often, he still hated it. The fear. The loss of control. The weakness…

He needed to get his shit together. Preferably before his claws accidentally dug deep enough into his arms and drew blood again, since it was too late to stop before he could feel the tears forming.

But no matter how he tried to aim his thoughts into a different direction, they always circled back to you.

You're here.

You're not supposed to be here.

You're here.

You're not supposed to see him like this.

You're here.

You can't be here.

You're here.

You need to get away, they're going to take you again.

You're here.

You need to get away, they're going to make him kill you again.

A trembling, almost manic laughter burst through his gritted teeth, accompanied by breathless sobs.

In the beginning, he wanted nothing more than to see you again. But as time passed, he was happier that he hadn't been able to see you; that you couldn't see him in the state he was in. Nothing more than a particularly exotic and useful pet for some bastards who were too afraid of getting their own hands dirty.

He never did manage to figure out why it was you they ordered him to kill that day; if it was mere coincidence, or if it was intentional.

And if it was intentional, did they already know you were here? Were they already planning to grab you?

He growled involuntarily at the thought; both at the image of them keeping you locked in a cage for them to do as they pleased, and at the fact that he would be powerless to stop it.

And the worst part of it all? For whatever reason, you were apparently planning of walking right into their cruel, merciless hands; desperately searching for something that, apparently, nobody else in this damned city would be able to provide.

Amongst the chaos whirling through his head, he tried to find a solution to your being here:

He could ignore you completely, but somehow he felt like that wouldn't work.

He could try to free himself again, take revenge, and try to fix what he had done to you; heal that betrayal-inflicted wound that he apparently dealt so deep that it still stuck to your soul well over a century and who-knows how many lives later.

He could try to free himself again, take revenge, and then leave you, so that he'd never have to risk hurting you again, and you wouldn't make him weak again.

Or, he could try to free himself again, take revenge, and then devour your soul so that you'd never get to live another life ever again. It would be cruel, sure, and it would probably hurt, too. But somehow, it might just be the most merciful option for both of you…

He focused on these ideas until, finally, he felt his heart stop hammering and his lungs start to take in the appropriate amount of air. He was no longer trembling, though he felt his nerves vibrating as he made himself stand.

He felt restless and his head hurt. He needed to tear into something---into someone---before he made his way back to his dungeon for the night.

He was irritated by the mud clinging to his clothes, hist tail, his hand, and now his face as he wiped the tears from his eyes. But he couldn't bring himself to care about that.

The only thing he could care about right then was his potential plans.

He had no idea what he should do. But he swore to himself that he'd make his choice by tomorrow morning.

For now, it was the best he could do.

< Part Two | Good Ending (WIP) > | Neutral Ending (WIP) > | Bad Ending (WIP) >

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Edit: Any time I make a poll like this that purposefully excludes Gale, Astarion, and Halsin (and Minsc), it is not just because I'm being petty; it is also to test the Bg3 fandom best I can. How does it feel to notice your fave isn't in an ensemble post? How does it feel when your fave isn't included despite being a main character? Why do you think your fave is a default who must always be acknowledged? How come you instantly notice when the white males aren't included, but it would take someone else pointing it out for you to realise Wyll isn't in a fanart or someone forgot to mention Lae'zel in a post about the characters' developments? Why are you angry with me for excluding the white males? Would you feel just as angry if I had excluded Wyll? Would you have noticed at all? I want people to think a lot about this kind of stuff - especially when they are so obsessed with white men they don't even bother paying attention to the others. I'm forcing you to pay attention.

And to the people who reblog this w tags like "I'm mad gale/Astarion/halsin isn't included" cool. Give me that same anger when yet another fanartist forgets Wyll.

[moonystoes]

Tiktok Trend - Elisa De Almeida

Summary: you and Elisa decide to hard launch by doing a tiktok trend.

A/n: heyyy!! This was actually my first ever fic (January 5th) and I completely forgot about it until I decided to clean up my notes app and couldn't even recognize it. It's quite short ( and a mess) but sweet. Enjoy!!!

"Okay let's do this tiktok trend you showed me!" Elisa jumped up from the beige couch excitedly. It was you who showed her the tiktok trend where couples tell the camera what they like and hate about each other, but it wasn't your intention to film one. She was skeptical about posting a lot of photos of you on her account, worried if her fans would bother you. And although it annoyed you at first that she's hiding you, it made you warm that she's doing all of this for your comfort.

But fanpages had already found your accounts on tiktok and instagram, stalking your posts and going through your stories every time you post. At first it made you uncomfortable, but you had accepted it for the sake of elisa. Some of them are nice, ones that you look through their edits and content and smile. But of course there were some that sent you weird messages about leaving their 'wife'.

"Are you sure it's a good idea? I haven't posted tiktoks about you yet."

"I mean... do you not want to? It's your account. And besides, you have already posted photos of me on Instagram so they're aware of us." Her sudden energy slightly deflated when she heard your hesitant tone.

"Yes! I don't mind it at all. Ehm... okay sit next to me and I'll prop my phone here." You pointed next to you on the couch, grabbing your phone and angling it on the coffee table perfectly to show the both of you.

You took a deep breath as you opened tiktok. You knew there was no going back once you do this, they will either love you or completely harass you.

"Hey I'm here with elisa and we have to say one thing we hate about each other." You touched your hair, making sure it's not a mess. Elisa can sense you being worried, she softly intertwined her hand with your other one.

"Why hate? Why not love?" She fake frowned, "wow is there no love in your heart?" She looked at the camera with a raised eyebrow in fake-shock.

"Oh my god!" You rolled your eyes, "we will start with hate and then love. So if you get pissed at what I hate about you, you'd feel better about the love." You played with her thin cross bracelet, your eyes zoning out at the sight of her veiny hand. She looked back at you with a sarcastic angry face and a soft hum.

"Okay who will start?" She asked. Her gaze softening when she realized that you're not listening. She squeezed your hand, making you look up towards her face with a slight flushed face.

It was obvious that her hands and arms were distracting to you, she had noticed your fascination to them since your first date. At first she thought there was something like a sauce or maybe a bug on her hand when your eyes kept going down there, but there wasn't a thing there and it didn't take her long to understand.

"I'll start," she whispered, "I don't like it when you...always put others first, sometimes you need to be selfish and think about yourself." She whispered, her other hand playing with the button of your shirt.

You looked away to stop the blushing, realizing that if you looked at her eyes you'd probably stammer and never end up saying what you want. The amount PDA she's doing is stressing you a little, worried what the media would think. "What I don't like about you is... the tech fleece." You laughed at the way her face dropped.

"Are you serious? Mine was so romantic and yours is just so mean!" She let go of your hand, turning to the camera and folding her arms over her chest. "Wow you guys are witnessing a break up right now. The best thing about you is...the break up right now."

"Okay whatever, the best part about you is-"

"My hands!"

"Huh?" You looked at her face in confusion. She burst out laughing, her head tilting back and her hands clutching her side.

When realization hit, your face had a small shameful frown. You really thought you were slick admiring them, but she obviously knows you a little too much.

"Whatever, my favorite part about you is your smile." Elisa brushed off your reaction as she responded. She placed her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into her side, a soft smile blossomed in your face at the mention.

You hoped your blush was not obvious when you looked back at the small screen. You reached for the phone and ended the video, making a quick caption: "She got mad but it's the truth and you guys know it too."

You threw the phone to Elisa, obviously too scared to press 'post'. She held into your hand tightly and did it for you, before turning to look at you and shrugging, "done."

Since your job was at the evening, it wasn't hard to avoid your phone all day. It was until 10pm when the both of you cuddled in bed. Elisa's face was resting on the nape of your neck, she tapped your arm quickly as she huffed in frustration.

You stopped scrolling on Twitter to glare at her, "what?"

"Tiktok time before we sleep," she lifted her head to give you a pout, making you giggle and roll your eyes. It has been a routine for you to go on tiktok and her just staring at your screen before sleeping. The first time it happened was when you had your first night at her apartment, and you can vividly recall her face trying to pretend that she wasnt looking at your screen until you called her out for it.

"Fine," you laughed and went on tiktok, but the '99+' notifications reminded you of the video you made. Elisa noticed your uneasy look, before pressing the little envelope to see them.

The video already had around 50k likes, which was surprising since your usual ones get around 3000 only. You scrolled through the comments, many of them were in Portuguese since she's mostly popular in Brazil.

"You know... I don't feel so bad now that I don't speak Portuguese, because I don't wanna know what all of this is about."

Elisa sat up and grabbed your phone from your hands, she leaned in closer to your screen since she wasn't wearing her glasses, "umm...some of them are crying about me not being single, and...about us being touchy."

You remained quiet for a second, "so none of them are rude to me, yeah?" You glanced at her face as she turned to look at you, "don't lie, I wanna know what they think about me."

Elisa leaned in close and hugged you, she can hear the insecurity in your voice, "none of them are mean to you, I promise. They're just hurt that this sexy, hot, talented, beautiful woman has a girlfriend. But that's it."

You sarcastically pushed her away, "you don't even describe me that way."

She laughed and continued scrolling. By now, the comments became more international. Arabic, Spanish, French, English and more. You can understand some of them, which made your body relax when you realized Elisa was somewhat right.

"Omg what 💀💀"

"Noooooooo she's not single wtf"

"Please why is Elisa so touchy (im gonna cry I wish that was me)"

"Guys be nice to the poor girl, she looks so stressed posting this. We need to let her know that she's loved and appreciated by us 💞💞 (we need more content of elisa tho, plz y/n 🙏)"

"Please why are they cute"

"OMG WAG?? WE NEED SERIOUS WAG SERIES Y/N IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS PLEASE"

"I think I just heard my heart get crushed. As long as she's happy"

"Why is Elisa with someone like that? She deserves way better 🤮"

Your eyes quickly looked away from the phone. Of course you'll get hate. There is no way you can please the millions that are thirsting for her.

Since Elisa's English isn't the best, it took her way longer to read that comment than you. She glanced at you as you were adjusting your pillow, preparing yourself to sleep.

She sighed and turned off your phone, reaching out to put it delicately on your nightstand, "baby...you know that they're just jealous of you, right?"

She placed her hand on you side and pulled you closer. She hated how you weren't facing her, it made it harder for her to see your features and emotions.

"You're the most beautiful and pure woman I've ever seen, I love everything about you and they clearly don't know anything for them to say a thing," she can feel your tense body slowly relax, "the truth is...dating someone that's famous, there are so many childish teens being obsessed and have no respect for others. It doesn't matter what that person says, because I'm happy with you and I hope I make you feel the things you make me feel."

You slowly turned around to face her, a soft grateful smile in your sleepy face, "I love you, and I'm so happy I bumped into you that day...I don't care what they say, I just hope I don't disappoint them."

"You'll never disappoint me, and they got to see only a minute of us...while I get 24 hours of you."

It softened your heart talking to her about all of this, feeling a little lighter after having this conversation. Within the 6 months of you dating, you were too scared to bring this topic up. And Elisa knew about it but waited for the moment you were comfortable enough to speak.

You leaned in closer to her as you placed your palm on her cheek, pulling her in to give her a peck. Elisa pulled you in closer to deepen the kiss, "I love you so much, y/n. I would make a whole tiktok account to bully the bullies if I had to."

You cackled at the comment, resting your head on her chest, "I love you too...but please don't do that,"

"Hmm...I just want to protect my princess," she joked.

"Goodnight, Eli."

"Goodnight."

___

~ Pleaseee hit my inbox if you have ideas because this was the last one in my brain

~ sorry if this isn't the best, I genuinely didn't know how to make it right

[samoankpoper21]

MTL to date a plus size person - Shiratorizawa Academy

A/N: This is a REPOST!! I didn't like how the first one came out so I decided to revamp, rewrite, and edit, edit, edit this post. Took me forever but we finally made it y'all 🥲 Again these are based off of my opinion/what my gut fupa tells me 🤣 I am also writing from a chubby!/plus size! POC reader POV. All of them are aged up/of legal consenting age. Also in celebration of the fact that the Haikyuu! movie hit theaters in the USA yesterday!! Enjoy~!!

Content Warnings: some cursing, suggestive smut, fat shaming if you squint really hard, small mention of someone attempting to unalive themselves

Ushijima Wakatoshi: I don't know why but I FEEL IN MY GUT that this mans loves him some THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIQQQQQQQQQQ women. He's a big boi so he loves him a thiccccc partner. He loves squeezing your love handles and playing with your thighs, it's his stress reliever. The softness of your skin when he kneads it with his rough, course hands instantly relaxes him. You got cellulite? He doesn't care. Got stretch marks? Baby he'll kiss and trace 'em. Fupa? UGH HE LOVES THE PUDGE. One thing he cannot stand is how sometimes you let society's beauty standards dictate whether he should be with you, he finds it frustrating how you get lost in your head and start comparing yourself to the women you see via ig. He's always encouraged you letting you know IF your weight really bothered you then he would continue to support you by being your gym partner. Regardless please let this man continue to support you physically and emotionally because he will. The sound of the TV only served as background noise, Wakatoshi's head nestled on your tummy as your left fingers ran through his hair, your right hand holding your phone. You were scrolling through instagram a flurry of women similar in age popping up on your feed toting their tiny waist, wide hips, huge tits, and even bigger ass. Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! It was Wakatoshi's dm's going off. Staring in amusement at his sleeping form you chuckled. How could he sleep through all of that? Switching into his account you figured maybe it was Tendou sending him pictures from Paris. He had tons of unopened messages from women, his requests way past 50+. The most recent sender caught your eye, your eyebrow arching up, a slight frown forming. It was from a former classmate named Hana, your memories of her unpleasant. Regardless of the fact that she knew you and Wakatoshi were together in high school she still tried to get him alone, persuading him how much of a better partner she would be instead of you. Back then Wakatoshi just ignored her blatantly telling her, "I'm with Y/N." You clicked on her profile silently gasping; you hated to admit it but she looked amazing, her pictures garnering thousands of likes and comments. Most of her profile were pics of her showing of her "natural body" from working out, the men in her comments thirsty. You tried to switch back to your account but the phone slipped causing you to quickly catch it before it hit your face. Letting out a sigh of relief you glanced at your screen semi panicked, you had just opened Hana's message. >>Wakatoshiiiiiiiii (7:35:06PM) >>Wakatoshi heeeeeeeyyyyy (7:35:10PM) >>I'm talking to you (7:35:20PM) >>I know you see my messages Toshi-kun (7:35:40PM) >>Wow you're really going to ignore me? (7:36PM) >>You're really going to ignore me for that fat bitch 🤣 (7:36:15PM) >>She doesn't' deserve you (7:36:25PM) >>You deserve to be with a REAL woman (7:36:40PM) >>Sends tit pic (7:37PM) >>Like what you see baby? (7:37:20PM) >>Let me take care of you like a real woman should (7:37:35PM)

Love? you hadn't realized Wakatoshi stir in his sleep. "O-oh Ushijima." He frowned at the use of his family name, noticing you averting his gaze. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to it's just your notifications kept going off like crazy and I thought it was Tendou sending you something-" Wakatoshi gently peeled the phone away from your hand peering at the screen, his frown deepening. He sighed typing out his reply: 'Hana, I do not appreciate you sending me such pictures and calling the love of my life, my wife, 'fat'. I suggest you take anti-harassment classes or cyber bullying classes. Don't ever reach out to me again. P.S. A real woman knows that she doesn't always have to resort to using her body to get a man." After he sent that to her, he blocked her, closed his eyes, and deeply sighed. "Ushijima, are you...are you mad at me?"

"I can never be mad at you love. Frustrated, yes. You aren't calling me by my first name or the other names you call me."

"O-oh." you nervously chuckled. He sat up pulling you against him so that you were straddling him, his hard cock pressing into your clothed pussy causing you to gasp. His hands were softly running up and down your thighs, he leaning forward so that your foreheads touched. "Y/N," his gruff baritone voice called out. "I only have eyes for you. I just wish you saw yourself the way I see you."

"I do baby! It's just that sometimes," he shifted his hips causing a delicious friction taking your breath away making it hard to concentrate. "I-I get discouraged when I see -ngh- pics like that." He was kissing the sensitive spot on your neck that he knew would make you weak, submit to his desires. His right hand was squeezing and kneading your thigh, the left gripping your ass. "You are all I need. Rolls and all. I wouldn't have it any other way." Chuckling you kissed the tip of his nose, Wakatoshi's hips never faltering in the way it rolled against your aroused cunt. "I love you Toshi." "I love you too."

Tendo Satori: There's something aesthetically pleasing when you see a big girl/guy with a skinny/lean/muscular partner 😊 It just works okay? Again I feel it in my gut that this man LOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEESSS THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIQQQQQQQ WOMEN 😊 He's had to learn/adapt on his own to ignore the scrutinizing, judgmental stares due to him being a monster he has a monster cock there's no persuading me of otherwise so when he meets you being confident in your skin and owning the fact that yes you are "fat" he can't help but fall for you. ⚠️UNINTENTIONAL MANGA SPOILER⚠️ Satori becomes a chocolatier in Paris. When it comes to sex he's mid key heavy on the food play: he loves drizzling chocolate, white chocolate, whipped cream, or caramel on his partner's thighs, tits, and tummy; loves watching you squirm as you watch him slowly lick all the sticky, sweet ingredients off his favorite meal. "Ma chérie," he purred. "I made a new recipe and would love for you to try it."

"Of course love. You know I can never resist your chocolates. What's the occasion?"

"Valentine's Day is around the corner and the baker wanted me to create a small chocolate snack with a...punch." Punch? Knowing Satori he wouldn't outright tell you what that 'punch' was. "I hope you're not trying to kill me this time love."

"Never that ma douce," He kissed the top of your head as he set a saucer of small, dainty, assorted chocolate squares in front of you. "Enjoy." He smirked. Taking the milk chocolate you popped it into your mouth savoring the sweetness as it melted; you popped a dark chocolate square moaning as the sweet, strawberry jelly like custard gushed into your mouth. "Mmmmmmm mon bébé these are sooooooo goooood."

"Careful now love," He cooed with his back turned to you. "Those are aphrodisiacs." You nearly spit out the third piece you were on. Fuck it. "Is it working?" He asked shyly. You couldn't deny the embarrassing amount of wetness that was gathering in between your legs, your body heat rapidly rising. "Love?" Your quietness caused him to worry, turning around to find that you were no longer sitting at the table, your shared bedroom door slightly open. "Love?" Poking his head inside slightly he smirked to find you panting, lying on the bed naked with your legs spread, your sweet essence already dripping on the sheets. "Oh lo lo lo, so it works hmm?"

"If you don't shut up and fuck me right now Tori."

"Of course mon petit monstre."

Semi Eita: I'm not gon lie I kept overlooking this man but my gut kept going back to him. I am convinced that this man likes his women chubby 😊 Random but I saw this youtube short where they were simping over Semi's hands and I have not been the same since 🤣 His aloof nature allows him to tell people off when they disrespect you or if he feels that you are uncomfortable; however his aloofness is also his downfall sometimes 😅

Admittedly you didn't have the typical build of a body guard, standing at 5', 2" weighing at 250 pounds the academy doubted you: how can this fat chick be able to protect someone? Will she be able to withstand and withhold big crowds? You proved that despite your short height and heavy build you were strong, resilient; the academy calling you Little Ox. The academy had assigned you and 2 other male guards, Yuuji and Rito, to assist a famous band, the lead singer scoffing at you. "This puny thing is supposed to keep the crazy fans away?"

"Don't doubt her Kaku-san" your teammate Yuuji defended. "She has skill and talent, made it fair and square like the rest of us."

"Tch. Just make sure she doesn't get lost in the sea of fans." Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you took note of the shaved headed drummer named Namio, the long haired bassist Kouki and the stoic, handsome, guitarist Semi with headphones around his neck.

As the band made their way through the airport from South Korea, fans immediately swarmed towards them pushing and shoving trying to get through. One intimidating look from you and an extension of your arm caused the fans to slow down, Kaku's eyebrow raised. Yuuji flanking from the back smirked at Kaku's reaction. That reaction was short lived as you noticed an individual moving at an intense speed towards the group from your direction. "Little ox!" Yuuji yelled. Everything happened in a blur: you hit the assailant's forearm knocking the knife out of their grasp, pulled them towards you, threw them over you shoulder slamming their body down, your knee to their back twisting their arm pinning it. Everything went quiet except for the assailant's labored breathing. "Let me go! Let me go!" he screamed.

"Y-N chan! Are you ok?" Rito asked.

"I'm fine. Oi!" you gently slapped the side of the assailant's head. "I'm giving you one minute to explain yourself. After the minute is up I will break your arm."

"I'm not talking to you! You just got lucky to catch me!" Your hold on his arm tightened and twisted further as you continued to count down. "59...58...57...56...55..." the assailant screamed, cursing at how you're hurting him.

"L-let him go." Kaku pleaded. Kaku shivered at the cold, distant expression you gave him. "45...44...43...42...41...40..." She truly is a monster Kaku thought to himself.

"29...28...27...26...25"

"Aaaaaaaaaaagggghhhhh! This is all Kaku's fault!"

"Oh?"

"Ever since that stupid guy announced he was dating that celebrity my sister has been so depressed! Are you really okay with one of your fans dying?!"

"Oi, did Kaku-san hold a gun to your sister's head and tell her to die? You think hurting this man will help your sister? She needs professional help. You're just trying to find someone else to blame because you don't want to help. Stop living like this." The man broke down sobbing, you sighing. "Rito -."

"Security's beside you Little Ox." Turning slightly you nodded your head easing off of the sobbing man, grateful that Rito, a man of few words, was always a step ahead.

"Y-Y/N-san-" Kaku began."

"Please refrain from intervening. That'll make my and your job easier. You asked whether I was able to protect you guys, withstand a crowd? This is enough proof right?"

"Y-yes."

"Rito! Yuuji!"

"Yes!"

"Let's continue shall we?" the walk to the van was quiet, Semi taking note of your full figure: your blazer a bit tight around your middle section, the way your love handles poked out, your ass sticking out of your black slacks. He sensed the dominant aura emanating from you the moment he laid eyes on you but found it thrilling to experience how much of a hold you had over your teammates. Semi isn't one to be submissive but he knew you could be submissive and that made the blood rush to his cock. He couldn't help as his imagination ran wild: you laying on his bed panting in all your naked glory, your tummy scrunching up, begging him to fuck you; Semi's long, thick, calloused fingers from years of playing guitar thrusting into your glistening cunt; Semi grabbing your hips slowly thrusting into you from behind as you pleaded with him to fuck you faster, harder. He needed release.

As the weeks went by Semi would observe you silently: admiring the way you carried yourself, how analytical and precise you were when it came to ensuring the venue they were performing at was safe and that no one could get through. He found himself drawn to you, falling for you. One day before a music show performance Semi found that his feelings for you were overflowing, bubbling over; that if he didn't express how he felt then and now he would go insane. Pulling you to the nearest staircase he trapped you between his arms, your eyebrow arching. "Mr. Semi, why are you trapping me in between your arms like so?"

"If I don't do this now I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

"What are you-"

"I like you." You could feel your face heating up as a million thoughts swept through your mind: was I that obvious? Did he catch on? I thought I was being careful with my facial expressions? Did I stare at him too long? His thumb swiped at your cheek bringing you out of your reverie. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" Biting your lip, tears threatening to spill over, fists clenched, you answered. "Semi-san, if you're only teasing me then I suggest you stop. This is going too far."

"I'm not." He firmly set. Looking up you saw the unwavering emotion in his eyes. You still couldn't believe that Semi had feelings for you, he never showed the slightest bit of interest; always politely saying good morning and making sure to let you pass first, you getting a whiff of his cologne. "But I'm..." you carefully whispered.

"Huh?"

"I'm bigger than you."

"So?"

"You don't mind?"

"I could care less if you're bigger than me. I fell for you not your body." Letting a moment of silence pass he asked, "Wait...do you not like me back?"

"No, no I'm sorry. I do. I like you. A lot."

Reon Ohira: Much like Semi Semi I struggled (I wasn't trying to be biased what with the community/culture I grew up around). He's literally the fine, thin line holding one from crossing into the least likely to date a plus sized individual - it may be because the anime doesn't really focus on him 🥲 or the fact that I don't know much about him 🥲😅 If I'm wrong please tell me 😅 In regards to Reon it's a loud, low hum when it comes to him; like I feel that he would appreciate the fluffiness of a plus sized individual. He's known to be the person to calm the team down/center them so I can imagine that his partner would be a little feisty in comparison to him.

Standing in line for a funnel cake you and your husband Reon Ohira were merely enjoying each other's company, conversation ebbing and flowing smoothly. Standing on your tiptoes you pouted. "Babeeee," you whined. "What's taking so long?"

"Well hunn we're at a carnival. There's bound to be a long line for sweets." He pecked your forehead and continued to stare ahead. Taking this time your eyes slowly swept over his features: prominent brows, sharp nose, pointed ears, tanned skin, the veins snaking down his forearm, the intricate design of it on his hands always turned you on. You were about to stand on your tiptoes again to whisper something raunchy until a hard bump against your shoulder caused you to stumble. Turning quickly to catch the offender you yell out, "Hey!" Ohira, arms snaking around your plump waist already trying to steer you in, calm you down. The man turned around to stare at you blankly, phone in hand. "Maybe you should get off your phone while walking."

"Sorry. Must'n have seen ya."

"How the hell you miss my big ass?"

"Babe," Ohira hissed. The man smirked and agreed. "You're right, how could've I missed someone taking up so much space?" Ohira lengthened to full height booming, "I don't appreciate you talking to my wife like that. I understand that you have your own preferences but disrespecting my wife is unacceptable." The murmurings of the crowd caused the man to feel uncomfortable, his face turning beet red. "Tch." He swiveled around and stomped off. "Are you okay love?"

"You know I coulda handled it."

"Absolutely not. Someone disrespects you they're disrespecting me."

"Okay daddy." You smirked knowing the effect that word alone had on him. Feigning innocence you snaked your arms around Ohira's waist, making sure to press your boobs against the lower part of his chest tightly so that it would push up against him, looking up at him with doe eyes. He groaned when he saw how big your eyes were. "Behave bunny." he warned.

"What are you talking about? I am behaving." You pressed yourself tighter to him pouting, making sure to "adjust" your chest, Ohira's grip on your waist tightening. "Do I need to fuck that attitude out of you bunny? Smirking you answered with, "After we get that damn funnel cake."

[justauthoring]

and i wonder... who? [7]

somehow, you find yourself torn between the two hottest guys at your school and you have no idea who to choose. loosely based off of operation: true love where geto is eunhyeuk and gojo is dohwa :)

a/n: this isn't my favourite chapter but i wanted to get it out before i lost the motivation to finish it

pairing: geto suguru x f!reader, gojo satoru x f!reader, satosugu x f!reader

tag list: @username23356-blog - @anxious-chick - @novacaneformybrain - @mandysfanfics - @rottmntrulesall - @voiceofnoreturn - @rh-tg1 - @ky0mybeloved - @black-swan-blog27 - @ladytamayolover - @the8ate - @maybe-a-bi-with - @dudalo100 - @reese-is-right - @6lonely-town6 - @its-a-damn-blue-brick - @kimi01985 - @dorusken - @siimp4youu - @catobsessedlady - @paper--angel - @animechick555 - @meshiinuma - @xxannyxx - @kaeyaviado - @kochochan-shinobulvrrs - @ichikanu - @valeriinee - @yourfavepookiebear let me know if you'd like to added! also i still don't know how to fix the tags - it works in editing but doesn't link some when i post it. if anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know!

Geto and Gojo don’t stay for long.

It’s an unexpected, odd but comfortable air that falls around the three of you and despite the events of the night and Sukuna’s actions, you find yourself crawling into bed with a huge smile. Your mother, when she comes home, is confused on why you’re so happy but you’re careful to keep the reason why limited.

You’re not exactly sure she’d be all that impressed with you inviting two boys over, alone, when it was dark. And you don’t even want to know what would happen if she had found out and told your father.

So, you just tell her it’s because you had a fun night out with Shoko at the amusement park before excusing yourself to bed. Which, speaking of Shoko, you figure you should probably tell her the truth—the last thing you wanted to do was leave her excluded and she was your best friend, so you feel she deserved to know the truth. 

Of course, she’s upset you didn’t tell her right away and she also professes that she’s “going to kill Sukuna”, but after you talk her down from that, she’s very understanding. The two of you ended up talking for way too long and you go to bed way too late, but nonetheless, the rest of the weekend is spent catching up on homework and relaxing.

Monday morning sneaks up way too fast, like it always does, but oddly you aren’t nervous. Actually, you wake up earlier than you normally do and get ready with a pep in your step, humming softly to yourself as you do. You eat breakfast with your mother who makes a comment on your happiness, to which you simply shrug and she gives you a weird look and then you meet up with Shoko, as you normally do, and walk to school together.

Morning classes go by smoothly. 

Geto winks at you when he catches your eye when you come into class, to which Shoko raises a brow at you and you simply shrug. You send him a wave in return, trying to fight the blush that threatens to grow on your cheeks, before taking a seat. Sukuna’s there, a black eye and a bandage on his cheek, but you promptly avoid his gaze and it seems like he does much of the same. 

Halfway through the lesson, Gojo texts you and when you don’t answer him right away, he sends you three more until you finally do reply and then promptly get caught with your phone by the teacher who promptly confiscates it.

You make the mental note to curse Gojo out.

But despite all that, everything’s good.

Lunch rolls around and Shoko says she’ll meet you at the cafe after you’re done getting reprimanded by the teacher with a laugh, to which you smile sarcastically at her but nonetheless agree.

And even though your teacher is harsh, like he always is, he gives you back your phone and you hurry to leave the class, feeling your belly growl at you in hunger.

You’re in the midst of sending Gojo one particularly long-winded text about bothering you during class when your name is called.

Blinking, you glance up, mid-text, only to instantly frown when you see Mei Mei.

Instantly, your mood drops – this was not good.

-

You’ve never gotten along with Mei Mei.

You still remember the first day you met her. It was fifth grade and you’d just moved. You’d been nervous all weekend about starting a new school and it was even worse because your parents had had you move in the middle of the school year, so while everyone else had had time to get to know each other and bond, you were coming in as the random ‘new’ girl.

Your mother had helped you with your hair, a brand-new backpack and school uniform had been bought for you over the weekend, and then she drove you to school instead of leaving you to walk or take the bus. You’d been a bundle of nerves all morning, feeling sick to your stomach, and when you’d finally arrived and your teacher had introduced you to the front of the class, you could’ve sworn you’d thrown up if you even faltered for a moment.

But you got through it, and you were placed at a desk, and that was that.

Then, lunch rolled around.

All the kids had jumped to their feet and raced outside, and you’d trailed slowly behind, not sure who to approach or if you even should.

You didn't have to, though. Because a minute after standing there aimlessly, a girl just slightly taller than you with the brightest white-hair you’d ever seen walked right up to you. Behind her had stood two girls you don’t remember, but nonetheless, she’d smiled at you and asked if you wanted to hang out with her and her friends.

Thinking that you’d lucked out and found a friend, you’d eagerly agreed.

Only to end up with her yogurt poured all over your head, ruining your hair and new uniform, and leaving you in tears. Her and her friends had laughed at you as she’d done it, and to top it all off she’d smiled cruelly as she asked; 

“Who would want to be friends with a loser like you?”

Her and her friends mocking laughter had been joined by the whole class until the teacher had run out, demanded to know what had happened and Mei Mei had then promptly blamed the whole thing on you. Your teacher, furious, had lectured you in front of everyone, before calling your mother, who had to leave work, to take you home for the day.

You’re still not sure what you did to Mei Mei to make her treat you that way.

And why it seems like she still hated you to this day.

-

“I’m gonna make you pay.”

Swallowing thickly, you shuffle on your feet, moving back to create some distance. “Mei Mei, I don’t know if you’re aware, but Sukuna is the one that—”

“Hit you?” Mei Mei cuts in, crossing her arms over her chest as she raises a brow at you. Your lips parted at her interruption, not really sure how to react given that it seemed she didn’t care that Sukuna was a complete and total asshole. Maybe, you guessed, it wasn’t even that but the fact she knew and still didn’t seem bothered by it “Yeah, I know,” she huffs, “and I’m glad he did it. You deserve it.”

Gaping at her, you shake your head; “I deserve it?”

She takes a menacing step forward and your body tenses, eyes carefully watching her movements. Mei Mei doesn’t seem bothered–the wicked smile on her face remains present and terrifying and there’s a certain manic edge to her eyes that has you swallowing thickly. You hate that you find yourself afraid of this girl, but the trauma roots deep from that fateful day in fifth grade when she’d played you like a fool and humiliated you in front of the whole class. You knew what this girl was capable of, and it was blatantly clear that she had some serious issues that allowed her to gain enjoyment from terrorizing others.

“You’ll see,” she growls. “You’ll regret the day you decided to ever try and be my friend.”

Your lips part and you’re stunned. Honestly, you’re not even sure what to say. Was she serious? She was angry at you… for what? You trying to be her friend when she was the one who offered in the first place? Or the fact that all along it had just been one big rouse to embarrass you? 

And somehow that was your fault?

Clearly this was far more than just Sukuna–maybe, for all you knew, he was just the cherry on top of her burning hatred for you.

Mei Mei is slamming into your shoulder before you can gather a coherent thought enough to speak, walking past you without another word and leaving you to watch her dissipating figure in absolute bafflement.

You stare at her for a moment longer, before there’s a buzz from your phone and you’re pulled from your thoughts.

Lunch.

That’s right. It was lunch. And if you weren’t quick, you’d miss it.

Not bothering to glance at your phone, figuring it was just Shoko wondering where you were or Gojo being annoying, you continue your way to the cafeteria. You make the mental note to talk to Shoko about Mei Mei, but push it from your mind nonetheless. Truthfully, you were just tired of having to deal with this whole Sukuna thing and it was easier to just push it from your mind and ignore it, then play into the reactions he and Mei Mei clearly wanted from you.

You’re turning the corner into the cafeteria, thinking about what you’d like to eat and keeping an eye peeled out for Shoko when you notice the stares. You don’t notice them right away, lost in your own thoughts, and then you catch the glare of a girl you’ve never even met staring at you from across the lunch way; with her, you notice the others.

It feels like everyone–it might as well be everyone–in that cafeteria is staring at you. And not just staring at you but glaring. Harshly. Their gazes burn with something nasty and there’s judgement clear on their faces as they stare back at you.

Just what was—

A hand latches around your wrist and instinctively, you gasp, body tensing in fear only to calm when you realize it’s Shoko.

You don’t notice the panicked look on her face right away, instead moving to ask; “hey, Shoko, is there something on my face? Because everyone—”

You notice it, however, when her grip on your wrist pinches.

“Y/N,” she breathes, panicked, “I—...”

-

Gojo has called you three times.

Three times.

And you still haven’t answered.

Pouting, Gojo glares at his phone – seriously, were you doing this on purpose?

Why were you ignoring him?

With one lasting glance at his screen, Gojo’s decision is made for him then. If you weren’t going to answer him, through text or call or otherwise, then Gojo would leave you with no other choice. 

He’d make you answer him.

-

“Shoko-san.”

Shoko isn’t quite sure what it is that Geto wants from him, but a single glance at the look in his eyes and she knows it can’t be anything good. 

Really, though, Shoko isn’t sure anything is good right now.

“Yeah?”

“Where’s Y/L/N?”

Ah. Straight to the point then.

Honestly, Shoko had figured that was what Geto was approaching her for anyways. She’d known Geto Suguru for years and while they had never had any animosity between each other, Shoko could hardly consider them friends. Acquaintances, maybe, and even that felt like it was stretching it a bit.

Truthfully, Geto had always just sort of been there and that was really it.

He’d known the guy since she was in pigtails and he was a snot-mouthed boy.

But Shoko wasn’t so oblivious to not have noticed that Geto had seemed to take a particular liking to you recently. It had started subtly and just kind of grown from there. You’d been particularly silent about it, but Shoko saw the way you sent Geto glances or the small smiles that Geto would send in return; she also knew that you’d gone to that amusement park with him and Gojo. 

And of course, considering recent events… well, Shoko would be just plain stupid to not have noticed.

“Home,” Shoko offers shortly.

The guy might be your friend, but he was still part of the reason why you were home — whether that was Geto’s fault or not Shoko still wasn’t sure.

“I need to talk to her,” Geto rushes, “she’s not answering my texts.”

There’s a certain odd sense of panic in Geto’s eyes that Shoko, despite knowing him for so long, is not sure she’s ever seen.

“You know why right?” Shoko decides to ask, quirking an accusatory brow at Geto. 

He sighs, shoulders slumping; “that’s why I need to talk to her.”

“Listen,” Shoko figures she’ll just cut straight to the point. She’s never been one to beat around the bush anyways. “If you know that, then you know why I can’t help you. If she wants to talk to you, she’ll answer. I’m not gonna give you anything. Especially because I don’t trust you had nothing to do with it.”

Geto huffs, “you really think I’d do that?” He asks, somewhat terse. “Besides, it’s my name that’s being dragged to the dirt too.”

“We both know nobody has anything negative to say about you or Gojo,” Shoko huffs, shaking her head. “But everyone certainly has plenty to say about Y/N. It’s fucked up. Sukuna’s the one that cheated on her, not the other way around.”

Just thinking about it is enough to get Shoko riled up all over again.

“Horrible things they’re calling her,” she continues, gauging Geto for his reaction. “Just because she’s been hanging out with you and Gojo. So don’t even try and pretend like you feel a shred of what she’s experiencing.”

Geto looks shocked and mildly impressed.

“Is she okay?” Is what he settles with.

Shoko scoffs, “what do you think?”

It looks like Geto wants to say more but doesn’t know what, or figures that it won’t get him any further. With a simple huff, he turns, but instead of heading to his desk like Shoko assumes he will, he turns and walks right out of the classroom.

-

He should’ve figured that Geto would come too.

“She’s not answering your texts either?” Gojo asks, coming to a stop in front of Geto, the both of them stood right by your front door.

“Nope,” Geto offers back shortly, offering a quick glance towards your door.

Gojo nods, slowly, “you know who started it?”

“Nope,” Geto repeats, but then; “figure it’s that Mei Mei girl.”

Gojo tsks, rolling his eyes as he slumps. “She’s awful. Nasty girl.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Geto agrees. Then, he gestures to your door. “Think she’ll answer?”

“I don’t plan on leaving until she does,” Gojo shrugs.

Geto smiles at that – it’s short and strained, but genuine nonetheless. With that, the two boys nod at each other and head up the steps to your front door.

Since Gojo’s in front, he knocks.

[therealcodfather]

Angry rant alert

I am so fucking tired of people drawing/writing Scar with no wheelchair.

If you're an artist, you got this far with drawing you can fucking learn how to draw one. It's not 'too hard' it's your own ignorance. I don't care if it's 'not canon' stop being a pussy and using that as an excuse and just say you don't wanna draw/write your sexy Scar that you drool over in a wheelchair because you think wheelchairs are unattractive. It's not a good look for you. If you're not doing it on purpose and it's subconscious you can unlearn ableism, I hope this is a wake up call.

I'm a wheelchair user and we already get no representation as it is. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to see like 90% of the fandom fucking ignore his wheelchair for the sake of not being bothered to learn how to draw it OR because they think it's unattractive?

Try and come up with an excuse, tell me why you think you don't have to draw/write him in a wheelchair. Yeah? You thought of one? What shitty excuse is it? Maybe it's because you're 'not talented enough' you can learn. Is it because you don't wanna be offensive and mess Something up? It's more offensive to ignore his disability. Is it because it 'wouldn't work in the fanfic/drawing' yeah well guess what? Wheelchair users have to go through that shit in real life. There is ALWAYS a way to make it work because WE have to. We have no choice. If your excuse is 'well I don't want to so I don't have to' you're openly admitting you're abelist. Maybe you're thinking 'oh well I'm not rude to disabled people' if you didn't dislike them or think disabilities are ugly tell me WHY you don't want to draw/write it then.

End of rant. Cosplayers are exempt from this, don't buy a wheelchair JUST to Cosplay. If you wanna still be mindful of his disability you could always do cosplay photos/videos sitting down, or you could make a model cane instead (which obviously isn't as good as a wheelchair and you shouldn't do that in your drawing/writing however if you're a cosplayer it shows you're still being mindful of it and not erasing it completely)

Edit because somebody is ALREADY being stupid: I don't fucking care if cc Scar said it's okay to not draw his Character in a wheelchair. Tell me why YOU don't want to. Tell me why YOU feel relief that he's said that. I wanna hear it.

As my wonderful Boyfriend said, it doesn't matter if you HAVE to draw it. Why don't you WANT to.

Edit 2: Hopefully last edit. I've been told that apparently some people were harassed for drawing Scar in a wheelchair 'wrong' and I want to say, fuck those people for giving people a hard time. As a disabled guy I would much rather people draw wheelchairs 'wrong' than not at all. Drawing them is hard! I literally use a wheelchair and I can barely draw them! Please don't let those awful people offput you from drawing a wheelchair. If you do it and post it and people get mean about it genuinely tag me and I will take care of it. I really do feel for people who don't do it out of fear, and for you this post is irrelevant. If you're too scared because of the harassment you or someone you know has faced, please try and get over that fear but that is an actually genuinely valid reason. I really do encourage you to draw him in a wheelchair though.

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

--

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

--

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

[evieshellscape]

I'm starting to get really annoyed with the 9-1-1 fans.

This is a quick rant, but I felt like I needed to say something. PEOPLE ARENT BAD FOR NOT HAVING THA SAME OPINIONS AS YOU!!! omg whyyy are people so annoying about this in the fandom??? I just want to scroll through the tag to see different takes on the new episodes and whatnot, and I always see someone complaining about people who interpreted it differently than them. It doesn't matter! It's a fictional show! People are going to have unique opinions on it!!!

It's really bad with the shippers, ESPECIALLY the bucktommy shippers. Buddie shippers are also kinda bad with it, but not as much. I enjoy both ships, I personally feel like buddie has more chemistry, but it's ok to like either. What's not ok is to act like the other group is invalid for liking their ship.

I feel like the most common posts from bucktommy shippers are like "bucktommy will always be cannon, buddie shippers are just playing pretend" or "buddie shippers are so annoying they won't shut up about their ship" and both of these takes bother me so much. Don't invalidate another ship just to make yourself feel superior, that's really shitty. And, you also talk about your ship on the internet, why should they have to stop? There's been a lot of hints at it recently, so logically the fandom is gonna be more active.

Buddie shippers, on the other hand, can have some bad takes too. There's been some vaguely homophobic posts following 8x13 that are like "eddie did ballroom dancing! He's confirmed gay!" which doesn't have to do with fandom discourse, it just annoys me. There's also posts that dog on tommy for his actor being a crappy person. I don't know the full extent of what LFJ did, but that doesn't mean people can't like his character. There's a lot of shows with POS actors and you can still enjoy them. It's not a good reason to invalidate people from liking a ship. I've also heard about a lot of people spamming the 9-1-1 instagram account (allegedly, I only use tumblr) and you're allowed to form opinions on the show, but harassing the actors and show runners to try and get your ship cannon aint cool.

Anyways, TLDR stop invalidating people from liking their ship, people are going to have different opinions and you can just go "huh, I didn't interpret it that way!" and MOVE ONNNNN

edit:

Clearly I am not on the same side of tumblr as a lot of the bucktommy fans and missed a lot of hate that's been going around. To be clear, people harassing others for liking something is also very not okay, but if it gets personal, then you should just block and ignore. I've recieved a lot of hate for other things before and the loud minority can get to you if you don't just block them.

[meggannn]

rambly thoughts on johnny's relationships with alt and rogue and how he puts them on pedestals

(note i'm basing on the video game, no ttrpg knowledge. also im posting this at 3am sorry if it doesnt make much sense, ill probably edit in the morning)

someone feel free to bite me if i'm wayyy off base here but another "johnny isn't beating the harry du bois allegations" take of mine is his proclivity to put halos on his exes. alt "the one that got away but v the sex was SO good, trust me" cunningham and rogue "she's the best, she's one cold-hearted bitch but she's MY cold-heated bitch" amendiares. granted that's just two out of who knows how many and they're the most plot-relevant in the game, but they're the two he still kinda clearly isn't over or at least assumes they'll come running when he calls after fifty years lol.

if i had to make a very surface-level observation i'd suspect maybe johnny thinks alt speaks to the artist in him, while he feels rogue understands the soldier. to 2013!johnny, i think alt is the fire of a passionate relationship and his anti-corp ideals, while rogue is the ice-cold of a solo who can get the job done, and this reflects in how they deal with him too: alt keeps coming back for more even after ending it, while rogue went cold turkey and cut him out of her life after cheating on her, rightfully so. i think johnny was probably just more attracted to the fire when he was young, but in 2077 after respecting that she made it so far, he now is more appreciative that rogue's a bitch because it's kept her alive--the tradeoff, that he doesn't confirm until late game, is that she sold out. obviously i suspect there was much more to their relationships than that, but we know alt went to his concerts and they talked "truly, madly, deeply" which to me implies their talks DID border on more emotional or romantic, if not outright (i suspect him telling alt they "were nothing, shared nothing but sex" came out of fear after opening up so much).

anyway i think it's intentional alt appears like a huge, glowing naked women in her scenes; even if it's alt's chosen form instead of johnny's projection in cyberspace, it contributes to emphasizing how he feels inadequate in comparison, how badly he fumbled that relationship. i suspect 2013 johnny actually opened up to alt quite a bit, but frankly alt has a bit of a nasty streak, and when she hit him somewhere it really hurt, he didn't hesitate to hurt her back. johnny does say mean shit sometimes to v or kerry but i kind of hesitate to call his nastier comments cruel--he's can certainly say some awful things to kerry i don't think are fair or accurate, but in his mind i think he thinks he's helping him, therefore it's not mean-spirited to him, it's just banter/chooms being honest. i sort of get the sense if johnny was ever cruel, it was likely in response to what he saw as a cruelty someone else did him first. "she just had to bust my balls! that's why i told her she didn't matter to me even though i still have nightmares about her and got myself killed on a suicide run to save her a decade later!!" like ok sir. tangent, this is why johnny and alt would never work imo (being way too passionate is one thing, but way too willing to hurt the other to win an argument is another). putting aside that he's lying to himself as well as hurting her with that remark, to him, alt threw the first stone and what she said about him being a poser clearly got to him, so he's "justified" in hurting her back.

but alt always came back, or stopped ghosting him eventually, so despite them breaking up repeatedly, he really never suffered any long-term consequences for how he treated her, always knowing she'd cool down eventually and come back for more. which is why he is so disturbed in 2077 that she's now emotionless and cold ("you find this icy bitch persona in there as well?" he asks, like it genuinely bothers him, while he'd said of rogue "there's the ice-cold bitch i know" almost fondly because he expects it of rogue, maybe even relied on it). i suspect he's more bothered by seeing alt as an ai than he lets on. he thought he'd be able to talk to her like the old days only to be met with an uncaring ai that doesn't care he's there; hell johnny sells v on the idea of meeting with alt with the promise he can secure her help, except she doesn't give a shit, and v has to step in to make the deal for him. that's sooo embarrassing for him lbr, that he can't do the ONE helpful thing for v his engram was even stolen to do in the first place, but his emotions are barely a blip to this new alt; she doesn't even care that he's embarrassed. the old alt would've noticed that, maybe even teased him for it.

well alt may not be the old alt, but what she is now isn't all that bad, he realizes; if he's a stack of code, maybe that's what he should be aiming for himself. "alt's out there fractaling, globulating, becoming a bigger and better ai. and i'm stuck here shriveling, spending time with you." this ex is a digital goddess who escaped the corps and survived past the blackwall, so of course now that he's an engram, he's jealous. he thought she needed his help, but he fucked it up; now he needs hers, and tries to frame it as her OWING him to avoid the vulnerability of admitting that. johnny likely sees joining her in cyberspace as the closest thing he can get to freedom as an engram (aside from running away with v's body, which he finds morally disturbing for a number of reasons. we even know from his mikoshi pov scene that a part of him did still miss being alive, given the option to take v's body is there at all, but i personally don't believe he'd do it unless v insisted because he finds the idea so morally repugnant). anyway. eternity in cyberspace with your digital goddess ex? well it's no "truly madly deeply," but it's probably the closest you can get to know someone's code inside and out (except for yknow the whole relic situation), so maybe it's the best an engram can hope for, and maybe if it's forever, if he's changed enough, he can be ok if it's with alt, someone he once trusted his feelings to, even if she's not the same. she still came calling when he asked, right? he can be part of something better with her.

meanwhile, rogue the solo was once upon a time so onboard johnny's "fuck the system" campaign enough that he trusts her to raid arasaka tower with him not once or twice but THREE times... except she doesn't match him on the passion. when he asks her why she thinks they took on the corps, she says "we were young [with] shit judgment." johnny insists "we fought for beauty" and her response is "don't let your mind wander." even in their date, she doesn't fully open up to him. johnny says some pretty romantic things like "i'd do everything in my power not to lose you" and "i'm on borrowed time in a borrowed body, but i'm here" and she replies with more practical responses and kinda shuts him down gently. of course, neither of these situations are ideal for spilling your heart--the first on they're on a mission, the second one she's wrestling with internal conflict. but either way, it tracks with how the rogue of 2077 doesn't ever really entertain johnny's more emotional, philosophical, abstract goals of trying to reconnect with her, of fighting for justice--or even fighting for v, but i'll get into that below.

johnny feeling betrayed over rogue selling out hits him hard because not only is it a betrayal of his ideals but it's smasher that she sells out to, the man that killed him. he registers his shock about it during chippin' in, but if he takes over v's body in the final mission, he confronts her about selling out before he even mentions v's dying, the real reason he's here, arguably risking the help he's relying on; he's really fucking bothered by it. rogue shoot back he has no right to judge her, he was long dead. but then when johnny says "v's dying and i'm the fuckin' cancer that's killing them" rogue replies "don't tell yourself you're out to help someone. it's only ever about you--so you can feel better." even after v says johnny's changed and rogue gives him a second chance, she still suspects he wants something, maybe even wonders in this scene if he only asked her out before to get on her good side for now. it takes actually seeing him in ahq fighting again for her to acknowledge he's changed, to see how serious he is about saving v's life.

one thing gets me, and i think it's why johnny is still not really over rogue, is how he says during the date "i coulda been myself around you. only you. no pretending, no posing." i think johnny wants to believe that if he'd been more open and hadn't cheated, he and rogue could've worked. but rogue goes "i can't... i see what you're trying to do, but i'm in a different place now." this is a pretty big confession from johnny but she doesn't really react to it! this is NOT a judgment of rogue and she certainly doesn't owe him a positive response, but even after she says this, johnny is notably dissatisfied: “that’s how you’re gonna leave it?” not unhappily exactly but upset and disappointed she’s still not really opening up. he’s constantly WONDERING with rogue the way he didn’t seem to wonder with alt. but it is interesting to me that despite her walking away from three date, despite that she keeps saying she's changed and things won't be the same, she DOES pick up every time he calls, she DOES help out every time he asks, she DOES imply they could've worked, so i don't even really judge johnny for assuming rogue will always be there for him, because she kind of is. but every time johnny tries to get emotional with her, she really doesn't ever open up in the same way. and tbf we don't know what rogue was like when they were dating; maybe johnny's betrayal even contributed to her hardening up as a young woman. (mike pondsmith says johnny got her pregnant, so when he came to ask her for help in 2013, he was crawling back to his ex who he knocked up and then cheated on to help him save his current girlfriend. like holy shit dude! though i feel stuff like this doesn't necessarily need to be taken as canon so ymmv.) anyway in ahq, johnny says "you've always been the one--know that, right?" and rogue replies "i do. shame you never did." which is quite interesting because i feel it's the most romantic thing she says to him in the game and it's right before she dies!

but anyway this is my long-winded way to say johnny is a very passionate person hiding behind several masks and a slow-moving devil-may-care attitude. i think alt was actually able to recognize and speak to johnny's emotional core better than rogue, although rogue recognized and appealed to the soldier, so johnny maybe didn’t let her in before to match her cooler energy. in that one fight scene/flashback, alt purposefully picks at his insecurities, but she "sees" and engages with him and his goals in a way rogue doesn't really: alt's thought about his rockerboy persona, thought about what he says and does onstage vs what he says and does behind the scenes, and even though her reaction to it all is "it's all a lie, you're full of shit," she's actually thought about why johnny does all that he does, vs rogue going "well... idk, we fought corps because we were young and did it for the money." that could be an old woman just tired and unhappy with some of her choices, but it does also align with rogue's overall responses to johnny trying to get personal. it's not that rogue didn't ever believe in his anti-corp agenda, but just that clearly she was willing to sacrifice it to survive, and it's something i think johnny, if he sat on it, wouldn't be able to forgive if he had more time in this life. i think he wants to think, though, if he'd taken down the walls he'd put up back in 2013 around her, they could've worked out, maybe alt would still be alive for not being there that day, maybe rogue wouldn't have sold out, maybe rogue really was the one he could've made work if he hadn't fucked up so much.

anyway. i think it's clear that by 2077, both alt and rogue have moved on from ever explicitly seeing johnny romantically again the way they once had. engram!johnny though is currently going through a character arc and is in the middle of reckoning with his faults and mistakes, so because he’s never gotten over anything in his life and deep down inside he hates himself quite a bit, it's easier to believe that he fucked it all up with TWO great women, rather than them just not being compatible. it is possible it could've worked with both or either of them of course! but who knows. this is my silverv agenda here, but i personally think post-2077 johnny doesn't need someone who operates in hot or cold, or someone who sees him in terms of artist or soldier, because he makes strides with v when he's with someone who he can simply sit in silence with and have any kind of talk at all while knowing his emotions will be respected, but also without feeling he'll be coddled, because he certainly won't coddle them in return. someone who can watch his six in the field while they fuck up corps is just icing on the cake. (the reason i place someone who matches the fighting spirit in him a little lower than someone who speaks to his emotional spirit is based on how he chooses the quiet life in the temperance ending, indicating to me a johnny grown is a johnny willing to leave the fight behind, or at least dedicate his new life to fighting in different ways. although that is temperance-specific so i think it's negotiable. i do like my battle couples so it's not that i think silverv sits around all day talking about their feelings lmfao, and i do think they'd go on jobs together if they stayed in night city, but i think post-canon johnny can now admit he has things he doesn't want to lose, and is less likely to throw his life into anti-corp projects again, so he is maybe just a smidge less eager to spend his weekends setting ncpd vans on fire, even with v. maybe once a year on their anniversary instead.)

ok goodnight

[cinnamonanddean]

RANT INCOMING. I know I complain about SV Reddit/Twitter a lot, but I just watched the latest Talkville episode after reading a couple of threads of people absolutely raging about Michael's behaviour and I swear I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

The complaints are always "He's weird! He interrupts people! He doesn't let Tom talk! He shits on the show! He plugs too many products!" In particular, someone was unhappy that he told a story about prostitutes in Vegas after their Patreon guest had mentioned her child passing away.

Literally NONE of this happened. He told the story (which was admittedly a bit off-colour and mildly inappropriate, but not egregious) BEFORE the guest spoke about her daughter. He didn't interrupt anyone (sometimes he jumps in at the end of Tom speaking, but I feel like that's more aggressive editing? Like an abrupt cut?). He said he found the episode boring at first, but then he came around to it by the end (ep was Nemesis so he's very wrong 'cause that's a solid banger, but he's entitled to his opinion).

I don't get why people are so bothered by him??? "He makes fart jokes!" SO?? Is that a bit immature? Kinda, but tell me you've never laughed at a fart joke. Someone else was furious that he asked if Lana would still want to sleep with Lex after she finds out what he did with the pregnancy, etc. It's a valid question! Not a vital one, but certainly valid. SO MANY PEOPLE insisting that he needs to leave TV after S7 and get replaced by Erica or someone else. It's HIS SHOW. I would bet money that it's under his production company or whatever. If he doesn't want to continue after S7 that would suck, because I think it would be both interesting and funny to see his take on the post-Lex of it all, but like...he won't hand the reins over to someone else. It's his project. Yeah sure Tom (and Ryan to some extent) are probably involved to a degree beyond just what's on screen, but it's Michael's project - and I hope he doesn't read the YouTube comments because people are also disrespectful and delusional there too.

I'm not ranting about all this just because I think he's awesome, which I do. I just feel like I must be watching something else, because I don't get what the issues are.

If Tumblr ever goes kablooey, I need us all to migrate somewhere as a herd because I need people with some sense to speak to about SV and I can't get that anywhere but here.