#egg noodles are just dessert pasta right???

[enbeemagical]

alright I gotta know

no results button it's only a day

[futurecorps3]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

Masterlist<3

Summary: Sirius and reader plan a romantic dinner for a very tired Remus Pairing: Poly!wolfstar x reader Warnings: mentions of sex and that’s all, I think! It's fluff and post!war where absolutely nothing went wrong because Reggie was a spy for the Order just like in canon duh Word Count: 1.4K Requested: No

Sirius leaned against the kitchen counter, a playful twinkle in his eyes, and said, "You know, love, if our cooking skills don't impress Moony tonight, at least our charm will do the trick." Y/N laughed, adding a bit more salt to the pasta they had been working on for about an hour now.

"Bet your pretty smile and my dazzling gaze will be fit enough… I really hope he likes it though," she mumbled that last part, feeling a pair of arms round her from the back. "I'm sure he'll love it," Sirius whispered, kissing his girl's cheek and moving on to whisk the eggs for the brownies they were baking for dessert.

It was Remus' first year as a professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. He had started the charge right after the war ended, and the trio had settled into a lovely flat on Eaton Square—a two-story building bought with Black family money. ("One thing my mum and dad will be good for!" Sirius had said back when he bought it.) They were slowly transforming it into a home. During the war, they realized they had the power to turn even a cavern into a warm place, as long as the three of them were together.

For the past week, Remus had come home absolutely drained. When he jumped into bed or the couch with them, he'd fall asleep right away and still wake up tired. Sirius and Y/N were aware that he was struggling to adapt to new routines; going from spending all his time with the people he almost lost to teaching six classes a day with minimal breaks was becoming challenging for him.

He'd adjust eventually and would be back to his old self, but for now, their boy was tired, and all they wanted was to treat him with every ounce of love and care he deserved. So, when Remus told them that he'd be coming home earlier that Friday, they decided to go all out with a romantic home-cooked dinner.

"Can you try this? I-I think it's a bit insipid," she said, stirring the cream-based sauce that was ready to serve, pouring a bit onto the back of her hand for Sirius to lick. His tongue gathered the liquid, and his eyes opened in shock. "That's amazing! D-don't change anything; it's perfect, baby," he smiled, grabbing the spoon from his girlfriend and taking more of it into his mouth, directly from the spoon to then place it back inside the boiling pot.

He either didn't mind or didn't think about it; knowing him, it was probably the latter. "Sirius, no!" she half-scolded while laughing, slapping his shoulder playfully. "Wouldn't be the first time my saliva is in either yours or Moony's mou- oi!" he snickered as the girl assaulted him again, all tiny hands against his broad figure. "You're disgusting," Y/N smiled, walking over to the dining table where a white tablecloth was set.

While the noodles cooked and her boyfriend danced to Queen while baking their last course planned for the night, she set the table. Y/N knew her boys to perfection, and Remus had always appreciated neat and aesthetically pleasing settings for their dates, and while this was not exactly one, she wanted it all to be perfect. Before coming home from a job interview that day, she stopped by and bought some candles and a nice bottle of wine; red. He loved red wine.

As she picked the bottle, she wondered how many bottles they'd collect as time passed and their flat became truly theirs. She smiled.

"Love, the water's doing it again…" she heard Sirius warn in a quiet panic and almost giggled. "Just stir them for a bit and turn off the stove; they're almost done," the girl reassured as she placed the brand-new silverware Regulus and James had gotten them when they first moved in neatly over the tablecloth, right next to the plates and careful that no wax could reach them when the candles eventually melted.

When all places were set and ready to be occupied—a bouquet of red roses and baby's breath in Remus', courtesy of their boyfriend—she returned to the kitchen. Her pasta was done, and brownies were in the oven. She found Sirius cleaning his rings, which he hadn't bothered to take off and were now covered in flour, delicate fingers gently scrubbing off the white powder.

Y/N took in the sight of him. He was going on about something that happened to him on the way home, about how he fought a lady for Moony's bouquet or something. She really didn't care when he looked like that. His long, black hair was tied in a messy bun with his wand, with a few strands falling out, a Rolling Stones t-shirt he turned into a crop top let a glimpse of his v-line show, as if it was purposely teasing his girlfriend, jeans hanging low and covered in flour.

Fuck. She scored. "… and so I told he- what are you doing?" he questioned when approached. Y/N stepped between the sink and his body, looking up at him while biting her lip. He felt her fingers hook on the empty belt loops of his pants, making him press flush against her body. "You're too pretty for this world; did you know that? Who gave you permission, Sirius? Do you think it's okay to be this perfect and just… exist like you're not this gorgeous?" she asked in all seriousness, making him blush and snicker at her flirting.

They were always like that with each other. Always flirting. Always trying to make each other blush. That, until Remus stepped in and made them both blush, fluster, and giggle like twelve-year-olds who just pecked someone else's lips for the first time.

"Careful. My brownies are still in the oven, and Moony won't take long in getting home," he warned, his eyes darkening a bit. "And?" she teased, scratching the bit of stomach exposed he displayed. "And if I bend you over-the-counter right now, dessert will be ruined, Remus will get too distracted in punishing us, and dinner will never happen. Just be patient," he groaned, stroking her face and kissing the corner of her lips, turning to clean his hands once again.

She ran her hands through his chest and screamed into his back in frustration, making his chest bubble with laughter. Right after, keys jingled in the front door, and they were both quickly at the door, smiling at each other like they held some secret intel Remus could never know about, and in some sense, they did.

Their boyfriend walked through the door, looking at them like they had grown two heads as he discarded his coat and boots by the door. "Well, hello," he smirked, walking over them and kissing their lips gently. "Are you baking something? I thought we'd do that on Saturday when Harry came over," he asked, trying to peek over their heads before Y/N pulled his head down with both her hands on his cheeks.

"We've got a surprise. Go change into something more comfortable and meet us in the dining hall." She smiled. "Dining hall?" Remus laughed, shaking his head as he felt electricity running through him with the information. Sirius remained serious as he nodded at their girlfriend's statement. "Yes, the dining hall, dear. Now go, c'mon," he encouraged, patting his shoulders as he walked away.

They used the time he took in putting some joggers and a shirt on to serve the pasta and place it on the table. Pads took care of the wine and looked up giddily at their boy paddling through the floor in disbelief. "Come sit." Y/N smiled gently, having changed the record to The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars; Remus' favorite. "Oh, I absolutely despise you both," he said, running a scarred hand through his curls as he approached the table with a soft smile playing on his lips.

Remus eyed the food, the table, and the soft music playing in the background, somehow managing to keep it together. Until he saw the flowers. He picked them up and looked at his partners with utter adoration in his eyes. "Fuck you," he laughed as tears prickled his eyes, making his boyfriend and girlfriend walk over to him to engulf him in a tight hug.

He felt safe and protected, even when he was very clearly towering over both of them. "We know you've been having a hard time coping with change, so we wanted to do something special for you," Y/N mumbled against his chest, stroking his back comfortingly. "The things I cooked might be shit… know I made them with a lot of love though," Sirius joked, kissing Remus' cheeks, which left a salty taste in his mouth. Moony laughed airily.

Surrounded by the warmth of his partners, Remus felt a surge of emotion. It wasn't just relief; it was a profound sense of belonging. Y/N's lips pressed against his cheek, leaving a lingering warmth, while Sirius's hand ruffled his hair in a gesture that felt both affectionate and familiar. "Come on, or it'll get cold."

They sat at the table, humming to the tunes playing in the background as they rambled about their day, sharing minutes of comfortable silence accompanied by loving glances out of nowhere. After the war ended, this is what they longed for. The trio would never forget how they fantasized about simpler times while laying on icy surfaces or in the woods, praying to whoever was willing to listen for a crumb of grace and a bit of luck to find solace after all that was done with.

As their eyes locked, there was an unspoken promise of enjoying the one thing they dreamed of a few years ago lingering in the air. They were giving themselves and each other a gentler life, a kinder environment, and a safe haven they could always go to. A safe haven with great pasta.

"Shit, dove… this is amazing! Where's the recipe from?" Remus exclaimed, resisting the urge to lick the plate and limiting himself to only gathering the leftover sauce with his fork like a civilized person. "I called Effie.” "Bless her soul," Sirius groaned in a solemn tone, licking the plate. Moony chuckled and drank the last bit of his wine as Y/N playfully scolded him. How he loved them, he thought.

Y/N slipped off her shoes and started prancing around to the music with a glass of wine on her way to serve dessert, a pair of warm smiles beaming at her going unnoticed as she was too lost in the beats. She paid attention to the plating, so she grabbed the small plates they had with tiny flowers on them and sprinkled some powdered sugar on top of the brownies her boyfriend baked.

"Here you go." She smiled, kissing both Sirius' and Remus' cheeks as she put the plates in front of them after putting hers on the place, sitting back down the next second. They bit into the pastry at the same time Padfoot waited for their verdict. "So? How'd I do?" He asks, in a concerned state his partners found hilarious, seeing how seriously he was taking the whole situation.

Y/N's expression turned into a disgusted frown as she chewed but quickly replaced it with a smile, making the change obvious to Sirius. "What was that!?" the black-haired boy said with wide eyes, taking a bite off the dessert himself and frowning when he actually found it good. "Come on love, it can't be that bad," Remus said, biting into his piece and closing his eyes in disgust in a very exaggerated manner.

"The-they're good, baby." She smiles, leaving the large piece untouched in her plate as she looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "I tried them; I did a bloody great job, so don't co-". His partners erupted in laughter. Moony almost cried, and Y/N's tummy hurt as Sirius shook his head with an upset pout.

"You're so mean. I hate you both. I'll never bake for you again!" "No, love, come on! We're sorry I-I just saw where Y/N was going and played along," Remus laughed, reaching over to engulf him in a hug, but his boyfriend pulled away, back facing his smiling face. He couldn't avoid the love for too long, cornered between his girlfriend who also reached out to embrace him.

"They're really good, Sirius! Come here; I-I'm sorry." "Why do you keep laughing!?" He whined with a little smirk playing at his lips he tried hard to contain when he found himself sandwiched between his loves. "No, ge-get off!" he playfully fought in-between giggles, trying to squirm out of Moony's arms, failing miserably. Y/N jumped over to them and kissed Sirius' face repeatedly.

"I-I'm leaving this house! Stop, Y/N, there's no changing my mind." He laughed. "We won't let you go; hate to break it to ya'." "Yup, I'm kissing you until you forgive us." They collapsed in giggles with sore bellies, letting go and going back to their spots to finish their desserts. "You did a splendid job, darling." Remus smiles, biting happily into his brownie. "Yes, they're amazing." Y/N assured and presses one last kiss to Sirius' cheek.

After several stories, laughs, warm smiles, and kisses were shared, they all decided to call it a night. Y/N grabbed one of Padfoot's shirts and a pair of Moony's socks, throwing them on before brushing her teeth and washing her face as her boyfriends got ready as well.

They jumped into the two queen beds they had joined and covered only with a soft silk sheet Sirius had insisted on getting since it was spring; They liked to cuddle, and if for some reason they covered more, they'd be kicking away in their sleep so they could be fresher.

Usually, Y/N would sleep between them, but today Remus took her spot and they were all comfortable with that. He wrapped his arms around his partners and kissed both of their heads, feeling exhaustion wash over him as their limbs pressed against all of his body; engulfed by love and warmth he craved his whole life before they came into the picture. "Thank you," he sighed, "for everything."

"Anything for our Moony," was heard in a soft whisper in the dark room, and with that, they drifted off to sleep.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Marauders taglist (DM or answer to be added): @kquil

Oh I had so much fun writing this one!!! Hope you lovelies like<3 SIDE NOTE I JUST REALIZED I SAID NO WARNINGS BUT I LITERALLY HAVE A LINE WHERE SIRIUS MENTIONS BENDING R OVER THE COUNTER HELP 💀

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[officialjamesflint]

1-30. unless ur a coward

SCREAM LEXI THIS IS SO CHAOTIC <33 so of course i had to do it

chipotle order?

I'm the bane of all burrito bar workers because i get sooo many things 😭i get a burrito with: white rice, barbacoa usually but sometimes i mix it up, black beans, corn, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, sometimes i get mild salsa, guac if i have the dollars! and i usually get chips n guac on the side

2. thoughts on veganism?

you do you but i could never because i love dairy and eggs too much. i also have a crazy metabolism and meat alternatives don't always sate my Hunger (but i do LOVE tofu esp when it's cooked well <33)

3. a specific color that gives you the ick?

i legit couldn't think of any <33 i suppose like. really bright neons?? but they just hurt my eyes and they're also cool in certain contexts

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

aliens i guess?? i want nessie to be real she is my friend <33

5. favorite form of potato?

TATER TOTS!!!

6. do you use a watch?

yes!! i have one of those cheap timex expedition watches because i can't read analog very quickly 😔

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

answered here!

8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?

nope! i lounge in my jeans because i'm evil

9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

sort of i guess?? i wash my face and put spf moisturizer on every morning

10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

ginger ale baybee!! or water sometimes because i'm a cool guy

11. anything from your childhood you've held on to?

lots of stuff!! books, stuffies, clothes (legit almost all of my winter gear is stuff i've had since elementary school). i love Objects <3

12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

uhh i'm not really a Brand Guy. but i like neutrogena for skin stuff. and cerave cause all my moisturizers are from them

13. first thing you're doing in the purge?

is the purge the one where laws don't exist?? i forgor. probably go hide in ikea i guess??

14. do you think you're dehydrated?

not at all i am obsessed with water

15. rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning

yikes! freezing/drowning/burning i Guess

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

YUM

17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

i don't even know...i guess? stick to my bedtime routine?? because if i don't i'm always scared i won't fall asleep??

18. your boba/tea order?

answered here!

19. the veggie you dislike the most?

hmm this is a good question. probably tomatoes (FIGHT me they're used as veggies in cooking) (sorry tomato lovers they simply make me feel sick in my heart. but i like them in sauce)

20. favorite disney princess movie?

mulan <33 but i also love moana and tangled

21. a number that weirds you out?

none of them all numbers are the same to me. except the funny ones

22. do you have an emotional support water bottle?

YES i've had the same water bottle since i was 16. yes i know that's gross but shh i love her i've replaced her cap like. 5 times.

23. do you wear jewelry?

i have 2 permanently attached friendship anklets! i need to repair my friendship bracelets they both had threads snap 😭

24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english?

uhh american i suppose. but also when i'm writing i accidentally spell things british style and google docs yells at me

25. would you say you have good taste in music?

yes <3 it is my job

26. how's your spice tolerance?

all right. i can handle like medium spice just fine <3 it's impressive for a midwesterner but i also didn't grow up here so it's just regular

27. what's your favorite or go-to outfit?

jeans. t-shirt. fun sweater. boots. i am a simple man (autistic)

28. last meal on earth?

BIG bowl of fried rice from a nice restaurant. fancy blue cheese. bubble tea. i can't think of a dessert but something delicious and chocolatey

29. preferred pasta noodle?

corkscrews <33 idk what they're actually called

30. ask me anything !

lexi i love you <33 this was so chaotic and also really fun to think about all of these

[leaving-grapefruitss]

A3! Instant Noodles Headcannons 

Because the responses to my cereal hcs prompted me to make another 

Oh boy let’s go, I guess

Makes noodles on the stove:

Omi

Yuki

Tsuzuru

Sakyo (“iF yOu’Re gONna Do iT, Do It RigHT” 🙄🤚ok Mr Michelin-Star chef)

Tsumugi

Homare

Guy

Sakuya

Chikage

Muku

Misumi (wants to shape the noodles into a triangle 🥺)

Makes noodles in the microwave:

Kumon

Kazunari 

Azami

Banri

Juza

Itaru (Chikage hits him with a chilli pepper [💀] for being lazy)

Citron 

Matsukawa (burns the noodles and the microwave)

Kamekichi…? (Who taught the bird how to use the microwave?)

Tasuku

Azuma

Hisoka 

Taichi

Tenma (does not know how to use a microwave. Tries anyways)

Can I just add: just because I listed so many members doing this does not mean that I do 💀 

Boils just the water and seasoning and forgets to add in the noodles:

Kazunari (is the type of person to accidentally use paint water as broth. I have as many questions as you do)

Tenma 

Taichi

Kumon

Tsuzuru

Itaru 

Misumi

Tasuku

Banri (💕no surprise there 🥰)

Juza (the Hyobros represent my last two braincells at 2am) 

Homare (don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to)

Hisoka (“accidentally” boiled marshmallows)

“Stir fries” the instant noodles:

Omi (why tho)

Tsuzuru (mmm coOking)

Itaru (mmm coOking part two)

Tsumugi (thinks it’s valid)

Masumi 

Guy (💀???)

Chikage

Dips raw noodles in seasoning and eats them as a “snack”:

Tenma

Itaru

Tsuzuru (...he’s supposed to be normal, huh?)

Citron

Taichi

Muku (…? Baby why?)

Kumon

Kazunari

Misumi

Eats raw noodles and drinks water and mixes it around in their mouth like an absolute heathen: 

Taichi

Chikage (did it on a dare. Will do it again to see the look of horror on Itaru’s face)

Tsuzuru (sleep-deprived as heck)

Kazunari (“yO bRo, lOoK AT tHIs cOOl TRIck! FiLm ME cUz I WaNNa PuT iT oN tHE ‘bLaM!” 😔 Kazu why)

Misumi (films Kazu trying it. Tries it for himself later on)

Thinks that adding instant noodle seasoning to pasta is valid (Omi’s sobbing rn): 

Tenma (he’s showing up too often 🤨)

Taichi

Kumon

Tasuku

Itaru

Chikage (likes the pot ramen curry seasoning)

Citron

Sakyo

Banri

Juza

Crushes up the noodles and turns it into pizza dough (like that one five minute craft):

Misumi (TRIANGLE PIZZA!!)

Omi

Tsuzuru

Itaru (work smarter, not harder)

Chikage (“improvise, adapt, overcome” idk some guy on TikTok said the phrase whilst cooking and it stuck. Reminds me of our resident cabbage)

Sakuya

Kumon

Guy

Taichi 

Kazunari (”yUh PiZzA nItE w DA bOiZ 😚 ✌️”)

Banri (”who needs takeout?” itaru, apparently) 

Tsumugi (adds an egg smack in the middle)

Doesn’t eat instant noodles:

Azami (“iT cAn’T BE gOod fOr YoUr SkIn-“ 🙄 🤏)

Sakyo (says the man who probably lived off them during his twenties 😒) 

Tasuku (eats them when he has to but he doesn’t like them)

Guy (didn’t eat them until he was introduced to different flavours)

Hisoka (rarely eats them. “They don’t have marshmallows-“ no kidding 🤨)

Lives solely off instant ramen to the point of concern for sodium poisoning:

Itaru (is anybody surprised)

Tsuzuru (does it intentionally)

Azuma (does not like cooking period)

Masumi 

Hisoka (…adds marshmallows?)

Adds sugar and milk to “mAkE iT a DeSsERt”: 

Muku (tries to state that they’re good-)

Tsuzuru (collegecore) 

Kazunari (mmm dessert 👍) 

Juza (adds flan. this should be criminal)

Hisoka (we already know he’s adding marshmallows and marshmallow fluff. Dammit Homare, why’d you introduce him to marshmallow fluff again?)

Misumi

Taichi 

Makes instant ramen and substitutes it as rice in curry:

Matsukawa (…boi-)

Chikage (uses curry flavoured ramen 💀)

Omi (~eXpErIMeNtiNG~)

Tsuzuru (what a chef, honestly)

Taichi

Azami 

Banri (“Rice takes time, bro,” 👏 use a rice cooker 👏) 

Somehow turns packet ramen into a full 5 star meal:

Omi (who’s surprised?)

Guy (doesn’t understand the concept of “instant” noodles)

Kazunari (I’m still surprised that he can cook)

Tsuzuru (adds lettuce 👍) 

This took a lot longer than it should’ve, I’ll be honest. I also gave up on making this feasible halfway through so there’s that.

Fuyu sick day HCs should be up within today or tomorrow? Idk I’ve been sick recently so I’m tryna transmit my own mood into my HCs

[pretendingboyfriends]

Warnings: smut babayyyy

Word count: 2.7k+

Summary: A quiet evening in Italy with Harry.

On an Evening in Roma - Dean Martin

The coral hue of the setting sun seeps through the open doorway leading to the terrace, casting a similarly colored shadow onto the tile floor as the two of you move around the kitchen. A warm breeze drifts through the room causing the curtains framing the door to flutter daintily and the scent of the homemade bread to waft throughout the house, setting a soft and romantic mood for the evening. 

You leisurely pour a second glass of wine for Harry and yourself before you begin crafting your meal, the warm buzz of impending intoxication lulling the both of you peacefully along with the soft jazz you have playing quietly in the background. You both have aprons tied around your waists to prevent your clothes from being splattered with flour or wine, aware of your tendencies for clumsiness.

“Can you crack the eggs into a bowl for me, darling?” You request, nudging the small carton of eggs towards Harry as you scoop the right amount of flour from the bag and onto the clean counter. 

“Mhm,” He hums happily, “How many?” 

“Two is fine.” You smile, shaping the flour into a decently large pile before pressing your fingers into the middle to make a well for the eggs and sprinkling a little bit of salt into it. 

Harry quickly cracks the two eggs into a small bowl and sets the bowl on the counter besides you. “Okay, now what?” 

“Now, we pour the eggs into the middle of the well I’ve created in the flour, like this,” You start, reaching for the bowl of eggs as Harry watches intently, pouring them carefully into the well. “And then we knead it with our hands, like this.” You finish, burying your fingers into the flour, kneading slowly and carefully as Harry rolls up the sleeves of his button up. 

“Can I just-” He mutters, walking behind you slowly and wrapping his arms around you, placing his hands over yours as he rests his chin on your shoulder to watch what he’s doing. “That’s better.” 

You snicker girlishly at him, shaking your head as you continue to knead with his hands over yours. “You’re an absolute idiot.” 

“Mmm, yeah, but you love me.” He hums through a chuckle, nudging his hips against you playfully. 

The two of you knead the flour and egg mixture into a malleable dough, making sure to add flour when needed. Harry’s playful attempts to flick flour into your face has a smile glued to both of your faces as you giggle and scold him for getting into your hair, though truthfully, you don’t mind.

Once the dough is thoroughly mixed, you form it into a ball and wrap it tightly with cling wrap to let it rest.

“Now, after we let the dough rest for 15 minutes, we flatten the dough out with a rolling pin,” You announce, slipping from your place between Harry and the countertop to find a rolling pin. “And then, after that, we cut it into the noodles.”

Harry wiggles his eyebrows excitedly, taking his half empty wine glass from the counter and downing the rest of the liquid as he watches you. “What kind of sauce are we having?” 

You pull a wooden rolling pin from a drawer, mumbling a small “aha!” before setting it on the counter. “I was thinking alfredo, if that’s alright with you. It’s simple and doesn’t take long at all.”

“Sounds amazing,” He hums, stepping towards you to curl an arm around your waist and press your body against his. He leans down for a moment to capture your lips between his and your hands come to rest on his chest. Your lips meld together languidly for a few passing moments as he presses you into the counter and trails his lips down your jaw to your neck. You can’t help but whimper from the plush warmth of his lips, sponging along your skin. 

“Salad!” You exclaim suddenly.

Harry frowns, pulling his face from your neck, “That’s what you’re thinkin’ about right now? M’doing some of my best work over here and all you can think about is salad?” 

“Well, we need something to go with the pasta and bread and we have that vinaigrette that we still haven’t tried.” You reply, patting his cheek with your hand before you wiggle from his grasp. Harry watches you with a pout on his lips, making you roll your eyes at him as you take a container of lettuce from the fridge.  

Minutes later, the two of you are back working on the pasta, a pot filled with water is put aside as you slice the rolled dough into fettuccine pasta. Harry watches as you cut into the dough, creating almost perfectly measured strips, all dusted lightly with flour to prevent them from sticking to the counter. 

“Can you turn the stove on to let the water boil? I’m almost done with the noodles.” You hum, glancing up at him. He quickly complies, smacking a kiss to your cheek before sliding over to the stove and turning the dial to high. “Oh and salt the water, too. Helps it boil faster.” You add, sliding the salt shaker towards him. 

Once the noodles are boiling and the bread is cooling on the counter, you and Harry pour yourselves some more wine and begin swaying to the sound of Dean Martin crooning in Italian. His arms are loosely wound around your waist, one hand grasping his wine glass. You have one arm draped over his shoulders, the other grasps your own wine glass, allowing you to sip it at your leisure.

“Quite like this,” Harry purrs, eyes focused on yours. “Havin’ you all to myself for awhile. S’nice.” 

You smile, bringing your hand up to tangle your fingers into the curls at the base of his neck. “It is nice.”

He leans down, pressing his lips to yours gently, continuing to sway the two of you side to side. His lips taste strongly of red wine as he licks into your mouth, a low grunt vibrating from the back of his throat. Your fingers tug at the curled tendrils of his hair as you adjust your grip on the wine glass, careful not to spill or drop it. 

Suddenly, the hissing of water overflowing onto the hot stove causes your face to separate from Harry’s with a quiet smack as you whip your head to the side to see the water from the noodles spilling over the side of the pot. 

“Shit,” You mutter under your breath, unwrapping yourself from him quickly to turn the heat down and fan at the bubbles with an oven mit. The water and bubbles calm to a simmer and you sigh in relief, stirring the noodles slowly. 

“Everything good?” Harry asks, leaning over your shoulder to watch you stir. 

“Yeah,” You breathe through a sigh, “I think they’re done anyways.” 

Eventually, you’re serving the noodles onto two plates as Harry tosses the salad and slices the bread. You slice a few small pieces of butter onto the steaming noodles before grating parmesan cheese over them generously and stepping back to admire your work. 

“Looks delicious,” Harry smiles, slicing a few pieces of bread from the loaf. 

Once everything is finished, you bring the food to the terrace, placing all of it on the small, round table to set up for the evening. Both of you discard your flour dusted aprons to reveal your cream, silk slip dress that reached to mid thigh and Harry’s white button up with a lavender sweater vest layered on top of it, paired with his brown, flared trousers. As always, he looks like a dream.

You sit across from each other and enjoy one another’s company as you eat, the sun slowly setting as you lounge. Harry endlessly moans over how delectable everything is and you giggle at him, nearly kicking them under the table every time he makes a sound. 

After both of you clean your plates completely, you finish off the bottle of wine, splitting the remainder of the liquid between the two of you before migrating to the metal railing of the terrace. Harry’s arm is wrapped around your waist tightly, pressing you into his side as you gaze out into the quiet street.  

“Lovely view,” He says from beside you and you nod, glancing at him to find him staring directly at you. 

You roll your eyes, taking a sip from your wine glass and muttering “Wanker” under your breath before turning your attention back to the actual view in front of you. He chuckles to himself quietly, easily dragging you around to his front so that he can wrap both arms around you from behind. His lips drop to your shoulder, softly trailing along your skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. You can still hear the music playing in the house, Etta James’ “A Sunday Kind Of Love” drifting from the small speaker on the kitchen counter to the small terrace where the two of you sway.  

You stay like that for awhile, drinking in the perfect weather and enjoying one another’s company until the sun goes down and the only sources of light are the street lights below and the soft light coming from the kitchen. By this time the tune of Yes’ “Yesterday and Today” is playing, the soft piano nearly lulling you to sleep in Harry’s arms.

“S’gotten dark,” He hums into your neck.

“So it has.” You reply, opening your eyes for the first time in what seems like hours.

“Think we should head in?”

You grunt quietly in response, allowing Harry to unwrap himself from you and lead you to the doorway. The sudden prospect of what’s about to come causes both of you to become giddy with excitement. The alcohol coursing through your veins heightening your emotions immensely. 

The two of you stumble back into the house from the terrace, tripping over one another’s feet as you giggle drunkenly. Neither of you bother to shut the door behind you, leaving it wide open for anyone to hear or see into your house.

 Harry falls back onto the couch, gazing longingly at you as you stand above him. His hands dropping to the backs over your bare thighs and tugging you forward to straddle him. You snort loudly and press your nose into his cheek as you wrap your arms wrap around his neck. 

“Dinner was nice,” He mumbles, pressing hot kisses to your neck. You hum in agreement, clutching the curls at the base of his neck as his lips move. “Think I’m ready for dessert now.”

You chuckle softly, rolling your hips into his, “What kind of dessert were you thinking?”

He pulls his face from the crevice of your neck, his hands sliding to grip your waist and push you against his growing bulge as he gazes up at you with lust blown pupils. “The kind where you ride me right here on the couch.”

The delicious feeling of Harry’s bulge pressed directly against your clit mixed with the sexy rasp of his words causes a quiet whimper to pass through your lips. You lean forward, capturing his lips between yours fervently as you grind your hips against his slowly over and over. 

“How’s that sound, baby?” He asks, pulling away for a moment to gaze up at you. 

“Sounds good, s’good, just- please,” You slur, desperately pulling him back in for kisses. He chuckles drunkenly against your lips and slides his hands up your thighs beneath your dress, bunching the fabric around your waist so that he can easily grasp your ass and press you into him. You whimper a little louder this time, fingers tangled into your lover’s mop of curls as he works you up. 

Harry’s fingers find the waistband of your thong and he helps you tug them down your legs  before dropping them onto the couch cushion beside him. Your hands start to fumble with the button of his slacks, fingers working loosely due to your intoxicated brain. 

Finally, his trousers are off and kicked to the side along with his briefs and you’re stroking him slowly as his lips brush against your clavicle. He’s discernibly hard already, rutting his hips up against your hand despairingly. You push yourself up onto your knees above him, holding him right against your entrance before slowly sliding down onto him. Once you’re fully seated in his lap, you gasp out a moan, pressing your forehead to his as he breathes out his own guttural moan. 

“So fuckin’ tight,” He mutters under his breath, hips jutting up into you subconsciously. 

The thin strap of your dress slides off your shoulder as you begin to move on top of him, the movement causing your braless breasts to nearly spill out of the fabric. Harry leans forward, pressing hot, wet kisses to the swell of your breasts as you move, both of you whining breathlessly. 

“Mm, Harry,” You gasp after he thrusts up into you harshly, his tip brushing directly against your g spot and causing your legs to quiver violently. 

“That’s the spot, hm?” He growls, wrapping his arms tighter around you to aid him in thrusting against the same spot over and over as you bounce against him. You nod weakly at his venereal question, hiding your face in his neck and pressing your chest flush against his. 

Your tepid, clammy bodies slide against each other with every girate of your hips, fingers tangled between locks of hair, tugging and combing at the tendrils. Neither of you are fully undressed, Harry's vest and button up crumpled up over his belly button, both straps of your silk dress barely holding on to your shoulders, but you’re both so entrapped with each other that neither of you care. 

“Fuck,” you whimper, biting into his shoulder. “You’re so big, H. Always feel so good.” 

He grunts, pushing up into you harder and silently requesting a kiss from you by moving his head to nudge against yours. You move your head to kiss him, haphazardly taking his bottom lip between yours. His tongue slowly works its way into your mouth as you kiss, hands pressing into your ass cheeks to push you onto him deeper. You move back against him harder, chasing your imminent release no matter how much your thighs burn and ache with your constant movements. 

“I’m gonna cum,” You breathe into his mouth, his arms immediately tightening around your waist to pull you into him and thrust upwards harshly. 

His hand slips between the two of you, thumb quickly gliding over your slippery clit. “Shit- c’mon, cum for me, baby.” 

You toss your head back onto your shoulders, Harry’s lips immediately stamping into the column of your throat as you gasp and your thighs tighten around his waist. You cry out as the knot snaps and warmth spreads across your body from within, Harry continuing to fuck into you from beneath you. 

“That’s it, good girl.” He mutters into your throat, perspiration building at his hairline as he chases his own orgasm and brings your body down into his. 

Moments later he grunts into your skin, cum spilling into you thickly. Your hips roll into him slowly, coaxing everything out of him as his head falls against the back of the couch. Your fingers slip into his sweaty curls, gently and soothingly stroking his scalp whilst the two of you catch your breath. Leaning forward, you press gentle kisses to his face and he mumbles under his breath, “So fuckin’ good to me,” 

The playlist you put on is finally repeating itself after sifting through nearly 2 hours of songs. The door to the terrace is still wide open, curtains quivering slightly from the steady breeze. Harry finally regains his strength and rolls the two of you over so that you’re lying back against the couch cushions, hips still pressed together as he hovers above you. He presses a few kisses to your neck and face before he pushes up onto his knees and pulls out of you. 

He steps away for a moment to grab a damp washcloth for you to clean up with and returns with a clean pair of boxers on and a t-shirt for you to wear (along with the washcloth, of course). He helps wipe the stickiness from the inside of your thighs before waiting for you to change into his t-shirt.

Once you’re both (for the most part) cleaned up, you pitter into the kitchen to grab a small container of gelato from the freezer.  “Up for some real dessert?”

-

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OK HEY!! i kinda just wrote this bc i saw a tik tok of a couple making pasta and wanted to write something similar so here ya go <3 don’t forget to reblog and send me asks!!!<33333

[heavenunderthemoon]

Can we get JJ and daughter reader where the reader bio father comes back

ROOM 286

Warnings: mentions of drug abuse, blood, death, abandonment. 

This piece is extremely angsty, I didn't even mean for it to happen it just kinda came to me while writing last night, enjoy:)

Sanitizer.

It smelled of sanitizer and something else. Something heavy, pulling you down, the scent dragging against the floor as you walked along with it, sneakers hitting the freshly waxed floor with a squeak. What was that smell?

It could have been anything, walking among the halls of that hospital, a hospital you had never been to, a hospital far away from your home, from Quantico.

Blood, maybe. Blood leaving someone else's body, a severe injury or just a small wound. Or blood entering someone else's body. A transfusion, a hope to save someone's life, a wish to stay alive for just a while longer. Blood, scarlet and distinct, heavy and substantial, entering or leaving.

Or death. Perhaps the heaviness was the mere proximity of death that hospitals seemed to have. Hospitals were like a precipice, a border between the living and the dead. Some who entered simply never left, and those who didn't were walking behind you, mirroring your footsteps, following your direction. It was the darkness of death, the souls of those that were lost covering the hospital like a shroud. The weight of those souls, the anger, dread, and our sadness that filled them weighed them down, pulling the hospital with it.

You had never liked hospitals.

"This is his room."

Your mother's voice was taut, laced with pain and something else. Bitterness, maybe? You snuck a glance toward her. She was still dressed in her work clothes, having practically sprinted off the jet to grab you from the house. Her gun was holstered, resting on her hip directly next to her badge that clipped to her belt loop. It gleamed under the fluorescent lights of the hospital, and you looked away, back to your mother's face.

She was crying, albeit small. Tears pooled in her eyes, the bright blue you had stared into for your entire life. Her teeth were sinking into her bottom lip, tiny sniffles escaping every so often, as if attempting to console herself as to not let you hear it. She never liked you to see her cry, not even after those stupid, cheesy romance movies that the two of you rented out every Valentine's Day. The woman was still operating under that archaic belief that once you turned an adult, once you became a parent, your emotions were supposed to simply leave you, become secondary to your child. You wished she wasn't. You wished you could take her hand and let her know she could cry but the entire situation at the moment, the real-life fever dream had you incredibly uncertain of how to handle anything that came next. Your hands clenched in your jacket pockets, glancing back to the room before you.

Room 286.

"Your father is dying, Y/N."

A glance back to Will in the kitchen had made you furrow your brows. The LaMontagne man was whistling as he cooked, fingers clenched around a wooden spoon being used to stir the noodles in the pot. Will was an excellent chef, and you had just gotten your report card back for the first semester- straight A's (and one B, but it was math, and both Will and your mother knew how much you absolutely loathed the subject, and so they took that as a win). The dinner was celebratory in a way, nothing too fancy  you didn't like all the fuss, nor did you want to have to make your mother miss a nice dinner in a restaurant that passed out free breadsticks before a meal (she would argue that any restaurant that did so was, automatically her favorite, no matter if the bread was crappy and stale). And so, pasta at home it was, and you had even negotiated Will's famous peanut-butter cookies for dessert. Henry sat on the counter beside him, giggling at his father's horrible dance moves. They were off-beat, choppy, and out-dated, but it made both Henry and you laugh uncontrollably when he did them, and so he continued.

The sun was just setting and your mother was on a case. She liked to call before bedtime when she was away, enough time to coax Henry into a sleepy stupor, to tell him goodnight, and to let you know how much longer she would be gone. You would tell her about your day, and she hers. The two of you would talk for forty-five minutes if she had time, ten if she didn't. But the sound of your phone ringing at dinnertime hadn't made you think anything was wrong. Perhaps she was calling early, or maybe she just wanted to hear your voice. That happened sometimes too, when the cases were especially heinous.

"What?" You asked confusedly. Will was looking at you with a raised brow, mouthing a 'You okay?', to which you didn't quite have an answer for. Instead, you shrugged, holding up a finger as a signal to give you a minute, before you were exiting the room. The playroom was a mess, Henry rarely ever picked up his toys. You sidestepped two matchbox cars before you stepped on a lego, hissing at the pain and walking over it irritatedly. For as small as he was, he sure could create a mess.

A pregnant pause.

"It's Christopher." Another pause. You were starting to hate those. "Your birthfather... He's dying."

Your breath seemed to have been stolen, and the last of your air hitched in your throat, eyes becoming unfocused. How were you supposed to react to this? You weren't entirely sure. your birth father, a man you didn't know, a stranger, really. You didn't know anything about him.

Horrible thoughts began to flood your mind.

You didn't know what he looked like. You inherited a lot of traits- too many traits, honestly- from your mother, so you had never thought to ask. You were a bit taller than your mother...was that him? Was that his genetics coming into play? What color eyes did he have? What did his smile look like? You didn't know small things either. How did he like his eggs cooked? What method of shoe-tying did he prefer (bunny loops or round-a-bouts)? Dogs or cats? Movies or books? Did he watch T.V. with the captions on or off?  You didn't know his favorite book genre, or band, or what foods he didn't like. You didn't know any of these things about him, about your father.

You knew these things about Will, of course. Because when you thought of 'father', Will was the first thing that came to mind. It had been that way for a while, so perhaps the fulfillment of the 'father' role in your brain was obscuring your mind, but you were wracking your brain to remember the last time you had thought of your brith father. But, then again, maybe you shouldn't have, because now, flashing before your mind were not saccharine , wholesome stories, but memories of empty chairs in audiences, uncelebrated Father's days, and 'Father-daughter' dances with Derek, or Reid, or Hotch.  Sour thoughts and memories of an absentee father who left your mother in the lurch, abandoned her in her time of need, was that bad to think of he was dying? Were you supposed to be nice now? You weren't sure the rules of this arrangement.

"What?" It was weak and strangled, as if someone had clutched your throat right then and there and squeezed.

"He's at Saint Mercer's. It looks like an overdose, he had a stroke. It was too much for his body, and the doctors declared him brain dead. I was his emergency contact, and..." Your mother was speaking, rambling from the tone of her voice. She was in shock, surely, and you were only half-listening.

An overdose.

You wondered what you'd find on the other side of the door.

"Are you ready?"

Your mother was speaking, but she didn't sound like she was...there. You were sure she wasn't. No, she hadn't been there ever since she had gotten you, taken you to that airport, boarded you on the first flight out, planted you both in front of room 286 in Saint Mercer's Hospital. Her eyes were glazed over, as if replaying every single moment with the man she had once known , the man she had created another child, her first child, with. A man she hadn't seen for entirely too long, and a man she hadn't ever expected to see again. A man she wouldn't even recognize, surely, because he wasn't a man when he left. You weren't sure if he had ever become a man. To your mother, he had been a boy, just a boy and a girl, in childish love, until they weren't.

"Are you?" You countered, eyes glued onto the wooden door separating you and a man you should know, but had no relation to.

For the fist time that night, she smiled.

She smiled because despite it being the most unfair situation in the world- a situation in which she was placed as an emergency contact for a man who intentionally left her when she was pregnant with his child (placed as an emergency contact in hopes to either advocate for them to try harder to save his life, or to let him go if need be, which, ironically, he had abandoned her completely without regards to treat her reciprocally)- you were there. You, her shining hope, a silver lining in the entirety of it all. You were the one thing that made her not regret a single decision she had made with the man, made her not regret meeting him in the first place, because she had gotten you. Your hair was shoved into a baseball cap, Will's, she recognized. It usually hung on the coat rack by the door, the man tugging it on whenever he went to the store or to pick Henry up from school. It was sun-damaged, tearing at the lip, but he refused to buy a new one because 'that just means it was well-loved, JJ.'. And now it sat on your head, a hat that belonged to a man you had met six years ago, a man you called Dad, willingly and without any input from her. You, a girl who had gone without a father for so long. Years of Father's Day cards, heart-wrenchingly sweet cards made out to Reid, or Derek, or Hotch because they volunteered to take you to your dances, even if she had offered to go, because you said you didn't think it would be allowed for her to crash it. Cards made out to her, thanking her for being both the mom and the dad (those tended to make her cry a lot). Years of ballet recitals, soccer games, spelling bees, silly school graduations, all of which she happily attended, but attended alone. All the nights of fevers and stomach aches and sniffles and dry throats. All the diaper changes and reverse cycling. All the scraped knees, busted elbows, trips to the ER. And now you were here, in front of the man who had abandoned you before you had even let out your horridly beautiful wail. JJ felt so many emotions at once, swelling within her that she reached out, grabbing your hand.

You weren't sure if it was to comfort you or herself, but you took it, entering the room as she opened it.

Machines.

Lots and lots of machines.

They stood at attention by his bedside, beeping and humming so loudly you weren't sure your thoughts would be able to tear their way through your mind anymore. Perhaps stat was a good thing.

There he was, lying in the bed before you. A standard hospital blanket was draped across his lower half. It was cream and thin, you recalled your days spent in a hospital not too long ago, how much you had hated it then. Those blankets were always itchy and uncomfortable, and you had all but forced Penelope to bring you one from home, to which she happily obliged, toting an assortment of stuffed animals as well (you argued you were too old for them, to which she had responded that no one was too old for comfort brought about by a stuffed animal.). His hands were resting limply at his sides, and you forced your eyes to skip over his arms, the damage an indicator of the activities he had chosen over taking care of you for the past decade.

When you reached his face you tilted your head. His face was sullen, cheeks sunken in, lips dried and caked in dead-skin. A redness spread about his face, a sunburn, perhaps, but you weren't sure. His hair, brittle and receding, was brown and you wondered of you had gotten anything from the man. A small part of you hoped you didn't. Looking at him now, you weren't sure if you wanted to. A sudden thought popped into your mind and you turned to your mother, who seemed to try to be looking anywhere but the man before her.

"What color were his eyes?"

They were shut now, and he almost looked...peaceful.

JJ lips parted, eyes coming to meet yours. "Brown." She said softly. Her hand was still in yours and you didn't make a move to drop it.

You nodded, glancing back to him. Something was missing, you gazed around the small hospital room to find what it was before it came to you. "Where is everyone? His family, or friends? Do they know he's here?" You looked back to the man, eyes following the rise and fall of his chest created by the ventilators attached to him.

The blonde stiffened, looking at her shoes. "They do. They won't come." With a clear of her throat, she was glancing back to you, your face softening as your teeth took your lip in their hold.

He was alone.

Was that by choice? Or had he run away from them like he had run away from you and your mother?

The doctor entered the rom, signaling for your mother to speak with her, and she left with a squeeze of your hand, leaving you with...him.

What were you to call him? Christopher? Dad?

Alone.

He was alone. His parents weren't coming to see him, he didn't have any friends. No loved ones to hold his hand in his time of need, to tell him it was going to be okay, to tell him that he was safe, and loved, and would be remembered. Regardless of his past actions, you felt...awful. Looking at him, you couldn't feel anything other than immense sympathy, because he had pushed away everyone and everything in his life, and he was left with nothing. You pondered his appearance, wondering what he must have looked like back when he had met your mother, what had drawn her in to him, made her love him and want him and that thought train had you reaching for his hand. Your mother didn't love without reason. She was logical, and fair-minded, and welcoming, and you knew that if she had loved a man, the man before you, it must've been for a good reason. And so, you couldn't judge him based on what was before you, because that was a result of all of his bad choices, all of his digressions and, yes, they were horrible, but they had also allowed your mother to meet Will. It allowed them to have Henry, it allowed you to have a family, a perfect family, and now all you felt was sympathy. No anger. No pain. Just sadness.

His hand was warm, surprisingly. What would it have been like to grow up with his hand, one to put in yours when you crossed the street, to feel your forehead when you said you felt sick, to help tie your shoes when you were still learning?  

The beeps of the machines sang louder as you stepped closer.

"Nice to meet you." You said softly, closing your eyes for just a moment. Just enough time for you to feel the weight of his hand in yours, to reassure yourself that this was real, that you were there, before you were opening them again.

When you did, your mother was back in the room.

Your mother's heart almost broke when she entered. The doctor needed her signature, needed a confirmation that they could remove life support, and her shaky hand had signed beside the 'x' with tear-filled eyes. And when she returned back to that godforsaken room, a room in which she felt all the air was removed, a room in which she felt suffocated, she saw you. Your hand in his, an image she had imagined in her head over and over and over again when you were growing up, a pipe dream, really.  A dream in which he suddenly got his act together, came back to find the both of you, declared his love for her, and begged for forgiveness for leaving. It was a dream that she wasn't even sure she wanted to happen so much as wondered if it would. Because you two didn't need him, she would attest that you two didn't need anyone, not really. Not before Will and Henry. You two were strong and independent. Jareau women were fighters. But still, she had thought about Christopher, and now that dream was shattered because instead of him holding flowers, he was hooked up to a life support machine, brain dead and unresponsive.

She wanted to yell. She wanted to yell and laugh and cry because this wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. She wanted to stomp her feet and throw herself to the floor like a toddler throwing a tantrum but it just...wasn't fair. She couldn't yell at him because he couldn't respond. She couldn't yell at him, because he was practically already dead, and he had left the decision for someone to give him the final blow to her. Her, a woman he had neglected, and your hand was in his, and everything was wrong.

Her feet took her to you, despite every cell in her body attempting to make her turn around.

"They're gonna unplug him, right?" She had told you on the way there that it was a strong possibility, depending on his state. But saying it aloud made it feel much more real. It shouldn't feel so absurd, you scolded. He was never in your life anyway, it wouldn't particularly make a difference. But, in some strange, bizarre way, it did It made a difference because now, Christopher wasn't just some man who abandoned you, he was a dead man who abandoned you.

"Yes." Her voice was small, and you latched onto her once more.

"He's all alone." You said with a frown, and she removed her hand from yours, instead, choosing to drape her arm across your shoulder and bring you into her embrace. Doctors were beginning to enter the room, beginning to explain what each machine did, the consequences of unplugging it, and then doing so quietly, though neither of you were listening.

"He is." She nodded, blonde hair rubbing against the side of your face.

You both stood silent for a moment watching the doctors continue.

"Tell me about him. When you loved him."

JJ sucked in a breath. She had only thought about the bad for so long, only thought about the moment his hand was no longer hers, his retreating figure as she clutched that pregnancy test in her hand, that panic in her chest as she realized she would have to do this alone. "He transferred to my high school in my sophomore year. Everybody went nuts. We didn't get new people in town...ever. But there he was. His hair was a mess," She glanced toward you, a soft smile replacing the frown she had been wearing. "Kinda like yours when you wake up."

"Hey." You mumbled into her shoulder, but you laughed all the same.

"We had a few classes together and he never let me forget it. Chris bugged me almost every minute of them, passing me notes, trying to talk to me, asking me out. I swore I wouldn't, I was too focused on soccer. But, he wore me down."

You rose a brow. "Wore you down? I didn't think that was possible."

She chuckled, the vibrations from it were felt on your cheek. "It wasn't before him. He was...different. He was a total music snob, spent almost all his money on the latest releases. He liked to take me swimming, said everything, all the bad things and all the troubles just floated away when you were in the water."

You looked back to the man in the bed, the doctors having turned off all the machines by now. Now, it was just a waiting game.

"That sounds silly." You whispered.

"It was. But, then again, so was he. He was carefree, spirited, and laid back. He hated the thought of having to grow up one day, said that being an adult was a life sentence to nowhere. Your grandparents hated him, but I didn't care. He was my first love."

You took in all the information, watching the ragged rise and fall of his chest, the sound of his wheezing making you cringe. "Would he have been good dad, you think?"

JJ thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. He chose to run. But I don't think he was suited for being a dad. I think he wouldn't have liked the responsibility of it all." She said thoughtfully, squeezing your shoulder before she was placing her head atop yours. "I know, without a doubt, that he would have loved you, though."

A snort escaped your lips. "Really?" You asked doubtfully.

"Oh, for sure. I think that if he had met you, he would have tried his best to be there, to be there for you. You both do that thing when you get mad, where you nose twitches like a little bunny and it's so cute that no one can ever stay mad at you. Or when you're tired, your eyes droop down and you can sleep instantly, no matter where you are. You both like rock music, and comedy movies, and blankets when they're fresh out of the dryer-"

"I don't think anyone can hate blankets when they're fresh out of the dryer."

She chuckled. "And you both hate peas. I swear, I tried to feed them to you when you were little and you actually scoffed at me. A seventh month old baby, scoffing at me."

"Hmm, wonder where I learned that from."

JJ rolled her eyes. "And you both have a big heart. Sometimes, his heart was so big, that he didn't quite know what to with it. You're better with following it, but you both have it. Just, too much love to give, and he never knew where to place it."

Silence settled over the two of you once more, the wheezing become quieter.

It was just you and her. You and her and the man in the bed. Her arms around you, chin atop your head as you lay in the crook of her neck.

"Are you sad?" you asked softly.

She took three breaths before she answered. "Yes."

You looked back at Christopher, imagining a relationship, one that included movie nights and car rides filled with shared music interests and dinners that revolved around your hatred of snow peas. But the image was foreign and fleeting, and all you could see was Will in your kitchen, producing horrible dance moves and whistled melodies. You could only see Henry shaking you awake. Reality reminded you of the life you actually lived, one without a Dad for a small amount of time, and then finding one. A life without Christopher. Your life and his. Ones that should have been lived together, but never were.

"Me too."

And the wheezing ceased.

Well damn. ANYWAYS, I’m so happy people are liking my JJxdaughter!reader content. It’s so strange because I really thought it wouldn't get much attention so that’s a fun surprise. Let me know what you think about this piece!

[acti-veg]

Cheap Vegan Essentials

With everything going on right now, I thought may be useful to repost an edited version of my list of cheap vegan groceries. Most of this is standard stuff but if you’re used to ready meals and faux meats but you can’t get them with the panic buying, this post may prove helpful to you. A lot of these have a really long shelf life as well, so they will be useful if you end up isolating. You may struggle to find some of these items with people clearing the shelves, but it will hopefully help to know what to keep a look out for. Just please avoid stockpiling. It is sensible to have these items in your cupboard but you should only buy what you need.

Rice: Rice is an extremely cheap and filling staple. A cup of rice contains roughly 45 grams of carbohydrates and 4-5 grams of protein. In an airtight container it lasts at least 6 months.

Beans: Beans are one of the most accessible protein sources and have been a staple around the world for thousands of years. Just one cup of soybeans, for example, contains a massive 28.62 grams of protein, while even standard baked beans contain around 14 grams. They also contain lysine, which is missing from most other plant sources.

Chickpeas: Chickpeas can be purchased very cheaply canned, and in large bags in bulk if you’re willing to prep them yourself. Each cup contains about 15 grams of protein, tonnes of fibre as well as magnesium and folate.

Lentils: Similar to chickpeas, lentils can be bought canned or in large bags. A cup of cooked lentils contains a massive 18 grams of protein, they also lower cholesterol, improve heart health and help stabilise blood sugar.

Oats: Oats are very cheap, can be bought in bulk and have great shelf life. They are high in protein, fibre, and B12; they are even thought to help lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

Cereals: Most cereals, especially supermarket’s own brand products are very cheap. Whole grain cereals like bran or oat based products are high in fiber, calcium and iron, and most are fortified with B vitamins.

Pasta: Pasta is another great product to always have on hand, it is one of the least expensive items in any supermarket, can be bought in bulk and has a very long shelf life. Depending on the type, pasta can be a good source of fibre and carbohydrates; it is a high energy food and is very filling.

Potatoes: Potatoes are one of the cheapest foods available in most supermarkets, at an average of just $0.56 per pound. They are versatile, filling and despite their reputation as unhealthy, they are an excellent source B6 and a good source of potassium, copper, vitamin C, manganese, phosphorus, niacin, dietary fiber, and pantothenic acid.

Sweet potatoes: Sweet potatoes are as versatile as white potatoes, are high in vitamins B6, C, D, iron, magnesium and potassium. They’re also a more balanced source of energy than white potatoes, as their natural sugars release slowly, avoiding blood-sugar spikes.

Noodles: Many varieties of noodles are vegan, they are very cheap and last a long time. Noodles are very filling and contain high levels of B vitamins, vitamin E, magnesium, iron, riboflavin, and calcium.

Nut butters: Depending on the type, nut butters can be purchased very cheaply. It has a surprisingly good shelf life, is an excellent source of heart healthy fats and is very high in protein.

Falafel: Falafel is usually cheap to buy pre-made but it is even cheaper when made at home just using chickpeas and spices. It is filling, can be used to make great vegan burgers and is a good source of protein, fat and soluble fibre.

Hummus: Though buying pre-prepared hummus is usually relatively cheap, it is far more cost effective to make your own in larger quantities, depending on the recipe you usually only need chickpeas, tahini and lemon.

Couscous: Couscous can be great in salad or as its own side dish, it is cheap to buy and is a convenient option since it is so easy to prepare. It is a good source of lean protein, dietary fibre and B vitamins.

Tofu: Tofu has an odd reputation for being expensive, quite probably among people who have never bought it. Tofu has been a Chinese staple for thousands of years, it is now widely available in supermarkets and is far cheaper than comparable animal products, averaging less than $2 per pound. It is filling and is high in both protein and calcium. If you find it expensive in your local supermarket, try a Chinese market or world foods store. It will keep for months if you freeze it.

Tempeh: Tempeh is similar to tofu in price and use, but has a different texture and slightly different nutritional properties. The fermentation process and its retention of the whole bean give it a higher content of protein, dietary fibre and vitamins compared to tofu, as well as firmer texture and a stronger flavour.

Seitan: Seitan is made with wheat gluten and is extremely high in protein, as well as being one of the cheapest sources of protein per dollar when made at home and is around the same price as low quality beef in stores. It has a steaky texture and is very filling.

Frozen fruit/vegetables: Large bags of mixed frozen vegetables can be bought extremely cheaply almost anywhere. Despite popular opinion to the contrary, frozen vegetables are almost as healthy as fresh produce since they are frozen while fresh and don’t endure the loss of nutrients associated with long travel and extended shelf time. Frozen fruit like mixed berries can be a cheap way to prepare smoothies or dessert.

Canned fruit/vegetables: Having a few cans of fruit or vegetables around is always a good idea, things like canned tomatoes or corn can be a side on their own, canned peaches or orange pieces are an instant dessert and canned tomatoes can be used to make sauces.

Bananas: Bananas are one of the cheapest fruits available and deserve a mention based on their nutritional value and their versatility. They can be used in desserts, as a healthy snack and can be used to make cheap vegan ice cream.

Citrus Fruits: Citrus fruits like lemon, orange and limes are cheap to buy in bunches, especially when in season and can be eaten as a healthy snack or used as a cheap way to add flavour to existing dishes.

Vegetable stock: Vegetable stock is good to have around for a variety of purposes; it will add flavour to any dish from gravies to soups and roast dinners. It is extremely cheap and relatively healthy if you go for a low sodium option. It is even cheaper if you make it yourself from leftovers or trimmings.

Olives: Olives are a healthy source of fat, they are thought to have anti-inflammatory properties and contribute to good health health, as well as being good sources of iron. They can be bought in large jars very cheaply and can be a healthy snack.

Olive Oil: Thought to be the healthiest oil to cook with, it is heart healthy and can be used to add flavour to a variety of dishes like pastas and salad.

Spinach: Spinach is often called a super-food in terms of nutritional content, it is is high in niacin and zinc, as well as protein, fiber, calcium, iron and a multitude of vitamins. You can also buy large bags of pre-prepared spinach very cheaply.

Kale: It has a different flavour and texture to spinach, but has similar uses. It is a great source of dietary fibre and is packed with nutrients, vitamins, folate and magnesium. Even a 500g bag should only set you back around $2.50.

Bread: Many new vegans assume bread is off limits, but many breads are vegan. Even speciality loafs are very cheap considering the amount of meals they can contribute towards, and they can be a good source of carbohydrates and protein. It will keep for 3-6 months if you freeze it.

Plant Milks: Plant milks have an undeserved reputation for being expensive, this is only in comparison to heavily subsidised dairy milks, though even then the price is comparable, in fact, some supermarket’s own brands are even cheaper. Plant milks are packed with calcium and are usually supplemented with vitamins B6 and B12.

Non-Dairy Spreads: Non-dairy spreads can be made form a variety of sources, from soy or olives to coconut oil. They tend to be comparable to dairy butter in terms of calcium, but without the unhealthy fats and cholesterol. They are usually priced similarly or cheaper than their dairy counterparts.

Peppers: Peppers tend to be very cheap to pick up in large bags, particularly bell peppers. They can be stretched over several meals, and can add flavour and texture to curries, stir fries and salads.

Nutritional Yeast: Seen as something of a speciality health food, nutritional yeast is actually very cheap, lasts a long time and is one of the best sources of vitamin B12. It has a nutty, cheesy taste, so you can use it in place of anything you’d usually sprinkle cheese on. It is also great in soups and when used to make “cheesy”, creamy sauces.

Flax seeds: Each tablespoon of ground flax seed contains about 1.8 grams of omega-3s. It is included in this list as they make a great egg substitute in baking, can be sprinkled on cereal, yogurt or oatmeal. It is cheap to buy, and even a small packet lasts a long time.

Dark chocolate: Dark chocolate is not only far healthier than milk chocolate, it is usually cheaper to buy in the same quantities and is far more filling. It is versatile for use in baking and desserts and is a healthy snack in small quantities.

Selected Produce: Fresh vegetables are not always expensive. Seasonal vegetables are usually cheap in most supermarkets, but some vegetables like carrots, turnips, onions, cabbage and cauliflower are inexpensive all year round, and can often be bought on offer or as “irregular” (but still perfectly edible) for even less.

Herbs and Spices: Having a range of spices on hand is always a good idea; things like cumin and garlic can add depth and flavour to simple meals and they last a very long time. Investing in a good spice rack and some curry powder will save you money in the long term.

Stay safe everyone, and please check in on your vulnerable friends, family members and neighbours. I am always around if you need any advice, resources, accessible recipes or just a bit of a chat to help with the stress. Take care of yourselves and each other.

[putschki1969]

2021/07/07 Blog post by Wakana 「麺」と「MEN」が仲間入り！！〜私の昼食大革命〜 

Super-Noodles have joined the ranks！〜My Great Lunch Revolution〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗ Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Recently, I've come across something amazing that has shocked me to my core, the food of my dreams, it's truly revolutionised my daily diet. SUPER NOODLES!  ･: * +. \ ((° ω °)) /.:+ ･:*+.\((°ω°))/.:+ ･:*+.\((°ω°))/.: + ･: * +. \ ((° ω °)) /.:+ (they are gluten-free). These noodles are made from rice. Some of you may wonder if these taste like Vietnamese pho noodles or vermicelli noodles since they are also made from rice but they are actually quite different in texture and taste. They are not as soft but instead they are firm and chewy like udon, ramen, and regular pasta (they are vacuum-packed as seen in the picture and it only takes a minutes to make them, amazing, right?).

For the most part I live gluten-free so I do my best to stay away from flour. For example, I usually eat ramen and udon about once a month or so, the last time I had pasta was in autumn last year (if I remember correctly?*laughs*). I had pizza at the end of the year! And I had some bread while we did a shoot the other day ♪ It was delicious ~ ♪

I'm not allergic to gluten, so I can eat it without any issue, and I honestly really love noodles and bread. But as we all know it's better not to eat too much flour. That's why I try to refrain from it. I love pasta so much that I used to eat it almost every day. Whenever I have some delicious pasta I get addicted and super greedy, I will feel the need to eat it again the next day and the next. That’s why I really try my best to stay away from that *laughs*. Pizza is really delicious as well, and when I eat it, I feel like having it every week, so it is also very high on my list of things I try to avoid as much as possible. There are many occasions where I am tempted to eat bread but I am not really addicted to it so I don’t suffer from withdrawal symptoms if I don't have it regularly, it’s not like I need to have it every day so I am fine with that *laughs*. Also, I don't have much desire to eat cakes or other types of desserts with flour, so I don't mind staying away from them. I have gotten stronger and more patient when it comes to udon and ramen so I can tolerate having them only once a month. I have actually not had udon in a while now ... since I love udon so much I want to eat it in Fukuoka ... (when I am in Fukuoka, I allow myself to eat as much udon as I want ♪)

Writing all of this I feel like many people might assume that I am overdoing it, that it might not be very healthy to deny myself all these foods but the truth is, this eating habit has become part of my life, it feels very natural to me. I have various options for my main and side dishes so it’s not troublesome at all and it doesn’t feel like I am missing out on anything(⌒ ▽ ⌒) ♪ And sometimes the ban is lifted and I will eat whatever I want ♪ But yeah, for the most part I just want to eat udon and pasta without having to worry about my body. And that’s possibe now. Thanks to the super noodles!!! My wish has come true!!!! (´ ； Д ； `) Really, a true revolution! These special "noodles" have joined the ranks of my favourite lunch foods (lunch is the only meal where I eat carbs)!! I have so much fun every day thinking of new ways to prepare my noodles *laughs* In the first picture you are seeing my basic lunch. Very lazily prepared *laughs*. And the follow-up picture is what happens if you use noodles instead of rice  ↓ ↓ ↓ I added a raw egg to the hot boiled super noodles, some Saku-Saku Crispy Soy Sauce and then sprinkled some sesame seeds on top, pure heaven. If you add some tomato sauce, it tastes just like regular tomato sauce pasta. The noodles look like real pasta, but it’s all made of rice. And they taste just like pasta!! A huge surprise!! Noodles by themselves aren’t the most nutritious food so I always make sure to have miso soup or natto on the side *laughs*. My lunch is in the midst of going through a great revolution!

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣ ▽ ￣0) /

My introduction turned out really long *laughs*. Yup, it’s a long wall of text this time *laughs*. If you are interested in a gluten-free diet, there are so many powerful and useful foods that will help you on your journey and provide peace of mind! \\\\ ٩ ('ω') و //// ♪

By the way, today is July 7th! It's Tanabata ☆ o (^ ▽ ^) o It gets cloudy on Tanabata every year so as expected it’s cloudy in Tokyo tonight too ... a shame~ (￣ ▽ ￣;)

Time flew by, it's already been two and a half months since my spring concert ... How is time going by so quickly? Prior to the release of the live Blu-ray, Victor's Official YouTube Channel released a digest video! The trailer is about 7 minutes long and you really get a proper feel for the live *laughs*. Please be sure to check it out~ ♪

And the other day we got to finally announce the musicians for "Wakana Anime Classic 2021" which will have its first performance in Osaka on August 15!!! Tadaaaa!!! 

Music Director / Piano: Shin Hashimoto (Sin) Violin: Koichiro Muroya Cello: Takahiro Yuki

Sin-san, the music director and pianist, has assisted me on many occasions, he contributed to the "Wakana Covers ~ Anime Classics ~" album and he has accompanied me on YouTube videos and other online events! The violinist Muroya-san has not only worked on my "Wakana Covers ~" album, he has also participated in the recording for many songs on my other albums! I have actually known the cellist Yuki-san ever since my days in Kalafina, back then he played the cello during various productions. Now that I have become a solo artist, he continues to be of help during recordings. Such a fantastic trio!! I think that the arrangements this time around will be simpler and the sound will be much more intimate. We want to carefully create immaculate arrangements so you can enjoy every second of the concert. I can’t wait for rehearsals to start ...! I think August will come in no time so I'm really just looking forward to the first live performance in Osaka (● ´ω ｀ ●) *excited* ♪

It's a little while before I can meet you in person but there will be an online sign event this Friday and Saturday ~ (* ^ ◯ ^ *) Just a little while longer! I'll be writing your names and adding my signature on these lovely sheets ~ (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Please look forward to it~! !!

Well then, let’s meet on the weekend! Until next time〜☆( *'▽’*)/

*** Wakana ***

2021/07/07 Instagram post by Wakana

More location photos! I went to a place of my dreams ~ 🌿🌿🌿 A country of plants! ️😆😆 I have been there several times already, there are many plants, flowers, gorgeous pots and fashionable vases every time I come here, it's truly a magical land that I never get tired of ... 🥰💕 Details of this location will be announced at a later date 😊 Please be patient a little while longer🎵 The second photo is featuring colourul vases in the shapes of vegetables and fruits ~ 😍🍓🍋🍍 🍓 I was worrying so much about whether to buy one or not ❗ (in the end I resisted). By the way, today is Tanabata 🎋 Please spend a wonderful night with your wishes in mind ✨🌠🌟🌠

Source

[whattolearntoday]

July 7th is...

Dive Bar Day -  From the one-time speakeasy to the little hole-in-the-wall, the dive bar is like an old pair of jeans; it just fits right. The dive bar is more than just a place to kick back and relax. It’s where we mark out life’s plans, celebrate its successes, and make memories to treasure. We make friends who become family and remember those who have left us behind.

Father-Daughter Take A Walk Day - This day promotes the benefits of family bonding time between fathers and daughters as well as the benefits of physical activity. The memories made during your time together will stay with you forever. During the summer season, there are many incredible places to walk and enjoy nature as you spend time talking, laughing, and bonding. While taking a stroll, cherish the time spent together. Your child will value the gift of the time you give no matter how old they are. 

Global Forgiveness Day -  A day to forgive and be forgiven, Forgiveness Day is a chance to set things right. It is the perfect opportunity to set aside old differences, move beyond grievances or hurts, and start afresh. In fact, some health studies have shown that people who are willing to offer forgiveness, whether to themselves or others, are much more likely to be happy and healthy than those who withhold forgiveness! That’s a great reason to live a life centered around forgiveness.

Macaroni Day -  Made with durum wheat, macaroni is a large variety of dry pasta, which typically does not contain eggs. While many people think the shape gives macaroni its name, the kind of dough used to make the noodles gives it the name. In the U.S., we like our macaroni! In fact, elbow macaroni is the most common form found in the United States.

Strawberry Sunday Day - Americans combine vanilla or strawberry ice cream, strawberry sauce, fresh strawberries, and whipped cream. While the oldest known record of an ice cream sundae is an Ithaca, NY advertisement, the originator of the dessert is cooly debated.

Tell The Truth Day -  Now is the time to take a full 24 hours to honor the important facet of telling the truth. This is a great opportunity, whether people are working toward being more honest with themselves, with others or both. The University of California research will sit a little better, suggesting that humans typically tell two lies per day, on average. It is important to remember, however, that telling the truth doesn’t just give people license to go around hurting each other’s feelings.

[vickyvicarious]

Eliot sweet talking Nana into sharing her secret family recipes so he can get more vegetables into both Hardison and Parker.

I was just going to write a short headcanon post about this but then the first line popped into my mind along with a line about Eliot utilizing his retrieval skills, and then next thing I knew this was a fic. First in this fandom so go easy on me.

(AO3 link.)

.

The carrot cake was the final straw.

Eliot knew his partners had terrible diets, okay? It was impossible for anyone to miss that, the way Hardison would just fill up any empty space in any fridge with orange soda, or Parker would get more cereal than was physically possible to store in the cupboard until there was at least one box permanently sitting on the table. He was well aware, and he’d been taking steps for a while to deal with matters.

He bought Hardison a fridge of his own - a mini fridge - and just poured out any soda he found anywhere else. He impressed upon Parker that just this shelf was for cereal and solemnly swore to her that he would never let it get beyond half-empty before filling it again. In the meantime, he filled the rest of his kitchen with actual ingredients, and always had a bowl of fruit out so they would have something healthy as an easy-to-grab snack. He didn’t put anything Parker liked hidden on a high shelf, because she’d find that fun; just small decoy portions while he kept most of his chocolate inside an old Wheat Thins box at the back of the cracker shelf. Speaking of chips, if he opened the bag of a good brand, then Hardison would gravitate toward it once he’d finished his Cheetos instead of going out to buy more, so that was just a matter of letting him buy one bag and then watching the level and timing when to get the other stuff out.

They both ate meat well enough, though Hardison liked to put in requests for absolutely sacrilegious misuses of various cuts; when Eliot humored him and actually destroyed his fish or brisket or whatever else as requested, he actually did seem to enjoy it, which was... very wrong, and disappointing, but at least the food was still going in his body. Parker quite liked some types of pasta now, and she seemed to enjoy when he put effort into plating things up nicely, but she was still a work in progress on any actual mealtime like a family (or a date. Not that Eliot hadn’t had to eat on the run plenty of times before, but - he’d had to. You don’t walk in to a table set for multiple healthy, delicious, innovative courses he’d been cooking for hours and then just grab bites as you wander around the room! He’d had wine out! Norah Jones playing softly in the background! No candles because he wasn’t an idiot, but it was clearly a romantic meal! What the hell kind of untrained toddler behaviour-).

Breakfast was easy, since they both liked eggs and there were a lot of ways to go from there. Breakfast potatoes were a hit too, and bacon, and they’d even eat oatmeal if he smothered it in sugar so that was something. For lunch, Hardison at least appreciated a good sandwich. Granted, usually only a stolen one because he didn’t like to make any kind of food at all that didn’t come out of a plastic package with microwave instructions on the side (and that had been an argument for the ages, the microwave one. Frankly most things could be heated better on a pan or in an oven, and those that were meant for the microwave were usually mass-produced garbage Hardison really didn’t need in his diet, but he disagreed vehemently and in the end that was one battle Eliot had definitively lost), but once Eliot caught on, he just started making double whatever he ate. Parker scoffed at the idea of lunch, for some reason, claiming that a granola bar or a brownie would get her through till dinner, but if he packed a lunchbox to look interesting and then gave it to her, she’d usually eat it. He just stocked up on bento boxes and made various kinds of colorful and/or childish looking foods and they came back mostly empty so that was good enough.

(Hardison claimed to have gotten jealous about it. Eliot was pretty certain he was making fun of him, so obviously he said he’d be caught dead before packing a lunch for him. He was a grown man and could do it himself.

“She’s a grown woman!” he complained, pointing at Parker, who was sitting perched on the back of an armchair nibbling away at her kraken bento - black noodle limbs, gyoza face, and grabbing a little egg scuba diver. “Sh-she should have to - this is discrimination!”

“Stay away from my octopus,” she squinted menacingly. When Hardison just glared mulishly back, she hugged the food closer to her chest. “It’s not for you, this is my little dead man.”

She popped the egg into her mouth and chewed, never breaking eye contact.

He turned back to Eliot to complain some more, but apparently that was only an attempt to fake her out, because he tried to grab the gyoza barehanded and she screeched, flinging her chopsticks at his face before fleeing across the room. Noodles got everywhere, Hardison had two little round bruises on his cheek the next morning, and somehow Eliot wound up packing everyone lunches every morning after that, and putting notes on them to label who each one went to.

He did not put sappy notes instead the boxes. He wasn’t their parent, okay. The notes inside the lunch were only ever reminders they needed for the con, like Parker’s character’s peanut allergy and how she needed to have the attack exactly two minutes after the mark joined her at the break table, or for Hardison to lock Lucille II behind him because even if he could track down someone who took off in her, he really shouldn’t have to again.)

Anyway, Eliot had something of a system down at this point. It wasn’t perfect, but it was workable for the most part. The one exception was vegetables, which they both hated. He’d tried to hide them several times, but they often picked them out or he just couldn’t stand to puree broccoli into a little garnish/dip just because his girlfriend and boyfriend were both giant babies about actually eating them whole. He had to eat the food too, and he enjoyed himself some veggies like any sane person would. They ate the ones hidden in their lunches almost half of the time, and sometimes other varieties, so he tried not to focus on that too much. Baby steps, he thought. First regular meals at all, then vegetables later.

But the carrot cake.

That was just too much.

It was cake. It was covered in cream cheese frosting. Carrot cake wasn’t anything but decadent, at least not the way Eliot made it for Hardison’s birthday. It was sweet, had just the right texture from the roasted pecans, the perfect hint of cinnamon and ginger. Not a complicated dish by any means, but pretty well near perfect, in Eliot’s no goddamn need to be humble opinion.

Hardison scrunched up his nose.

“Oh,” he said, not accepting the large slice Eliot tried to give him. “Eliot, I’m hoping this is a joke and you have my Red Velvet in the fridge?”

Parker let him hand her the plate, ate a bite, spat it out, then just started eating straight frosting off all the sides.

Eliot could feel his hands twitching. He very carefully set down the knife.

“What’s wrong with my cake?” he asked. Gave them the benefit of the doubt, and tried a bite: delicious.

“I mean... it’s a carrot cake,” Hardison said delicately, as though Eliot had made some kind of mistake and he felt a little bad pointing it out to him.

“So?”

“Carrot, Eliot.”

“Cake, HARDISON.”

“I like the frosting,” Parker interjected, and Eliot glanced over to her. She’d moved on from her own plate and was just scraping fingerfuls of frosting directly off the top of the cake. His cake. His cake for Hardison’s birthday, his beautiful cake -

“Babe, we love you but you gotta know vegetables don’t have any place in a dessert, that’s just wrong. C’mon, you really didn’t make me something else? Really?”

“THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!” Eliot bellowed and stormed out of the apartment. He took the cake with him.

.

He brought it to Sophie and Nate, since they were in town and they weren’t insane like some people he knew.

“People you’ve, uh, chosen to dedicate the rest of your life to,” Nate pointed out around a mouthful. “I mean, you knew what they were like.”

“Oh, hush, Nate, don’t you get it? They’ve hurt Eliot’s feelings,” Sophie explained. She ate another bite, hummed approvingly, then waved her fork around to emphasize her words: “For Eliot, food is life. He wants them to lead long and healthy lives, he wants to live with them and show his love for them and keep them safe, and they just rejected that. It’s not all about the vegetables, y’know?”

Eliot was never sure whether he loved Sophie best or least of all.

“It’s definitely all about the vegetables,” he said, crossing his arms. The pair of them exchanged a look and then smiled at him warmly, like he’d just done something cute.

“Fine! Forget it,” he snarled, pushing himself roughly to his feet.

Behind him, Nate grunted the distinctive grunt of someone receiving a pointy elbow to the side, then cleared his throat.

“Okay, okay - wait! Wait, all right, I might have one idea.” When he turned back, Nate was rubbing thoughtfully at his chin. “You’ve tried featuring the veggies, right, and hiding them. I’m sure you’ve lectured them both to death about why they should be eating more vegetables, but that’s not going to work on them, is it, because there’s no connection there. Ad novitam is only going to get you so far, you need the, the personal touch, a little ad misericordiam if you will.”

“I am not telling them it makes me sad when they don’t eat their greens,” Eliot said firmly.

“But it does,” Sophie said lightly. She met his glare with a soft smile, and popped another bite of cake into her mouth.

“N- Well, no, obviously, but you’ve got to think it through, Eliot. Step away from the situation. How can you imbue the food itself with emotion? Not for you -” Nate spoke a little louder as Eliot started to answer, “you’re not our mark here. What kind of food, with vegetables, is going make them feel an emotional connection?”

Eliot subsided, frowning down at his own plate. That... was actually a pretty good point.

“Hm, my favorite is still that little restaurant in Paris, with the exquisite quiche. But, I suppose hard-scrambled eggs are a bit of a guilty pleasure,” Sophie mused. “Mum was never any good at cooking.”

“You too?” Nate turned to her. “Yeah, my dad could set water on fire. I remember eating from my meal plan at college - the cafeteria, mind you - thinking how good the food was in comparison.”

The solution clicked into place. (Of course it did, they’d practically hand-fed it to him.)

Eliot stood up and grabbed his coat.

“Oh, are you leaving, Eliot?” Sophie asked.

“Yeah,” he said, and turned back to smirk at them. “I’m gonna go steal Hardison’s childhood.”

.

Once upon a time, Eliot had been a retrieval specialist. You name it, he got it back. Sometimes it was actually a they or even a them, on occasion. He’d committed arson for a pair of scissors, had gathered up a scatted set of Fabergé eggs from seven different countries and two different mafias, had traveled more than once through airport security with a live frog in his pants. The business was a strange one, but he’d been the best at it. And in the years since he left, his life hadn’t exactly gotten less weird; Leverage saw to that.

Breaking into an old woman’s home and stealing a book of recipes would be easier than taking candy from a baby. Of course, Hardison made sure to keep his Nana safe, and from everything he’d heard she could certainly take care of herself, but still it wouldn’t be any great challenge for Eliot to just break in and take what he wanted. He could do it and leave without her ever knowing he’d even been there.

He rang the doorbell, and gave her his best smile when it swung open.

“Hello ma’am, I’m Eliot. Can I come in?”

(This was Hardison’s Nana, he’d never do wrong by her like that. Anyway, it wouldn’t even work. For this he needed her direct input.)

Nana was a short, soft-looking woman. Her hair was pushed back with a purple headband, and she wore loose comfortable pants and a clearly old t-shirt covered in child-sized paint handprints. She exuded a sort of maternal air that had Eliot relaxing into the visit almost despite himself. They’d only ever spoken on the phone, and he’d admittedly felt a little awkward about his plan due to that detail alone. He knew Hardison would love for them to meet her, but it just hadn’t happened yet - honestly, Eliot had been reluctant before, worried that she would find him wanting, and he’d always been relieved that no plans had crystallized into anything solid.

Certainly, despite welcoming him in and getting them all set up on the couch with home-made lemonades, it was clear she felt suspicious. A few minutes in, she dropped the small talk altogether to pin Eliot with a steely glare.

“I’m fairly certain Alec wanted to be here when we met so he could brag some more about how hot his partners are,” she said, making Eliot flush. “And I’m just as certain nothing has happened to him, or it wouldn’t be you here to tell me, so that just leaves me confused.”

She raised an eyebrow, letting him take his time responding.

He looked down at his lap. Ran a hand through his hair, feeling... not less confident that he’d get those recipes by the end of this visit, but certainly more bashful about it.

“Uh. Yes ma’am,” he said. Quickly corrected himself, remembering her insistence over the phone, “uh, Nana. See, he doesn’t actually... know I’m here...”

“I’d guessed as much,” she said wryly.

“Right. Um, I actually wanted to ask you something. There’s something I want to do for him - well, for them - but I need your help to do it right.”

She stared him down a moment longer. Then her eyes widened, and she sat back in her seat with a little gasp, hand over her heart.

“Oh, Eliot,” she said warmly, leaning forward again to grab his hand and hold it between hers, “Oh, sweet boy, of course he’ll say yes. You should hear the way he talks about you, Alec’s been head over heels for years. I may not have met Parker personally, but I’m sure she will too. You don’t have anything to worry about, trust me on that.”

“What?” he croaked. “I... w-what?”

His voice broke in his throat. He wanted to yank away but he felt frozen in place. He didn’t understand how she’d - okay, no, he could easily see how she would draw the wrong conclusions from this situation, but they were the wrong conclusions! He’d never even considered marriage since Aimee, let alone proposing to Parker and Hardison. It wasn’t like a three-way marriage was even legal, and even if it were he would never. It was too much - not too much commitment, he’d already promised the rest of his life to them both, but still too much, somehow. He’d never dare.

“I know Alec doesn’t think too much of the institution in general,” Nana said, waving a dismissive hand, “but if you do he’ll understand that. He might not need it but he won’t say no if you ask, hon. I can promise you that.”

Eliot meant to deny the very idea. Instead what came out of his mouth was a shaky:

“...Are you sure?”

.

Hardison’s Nana - his Nana too, she insisted, even after Eliot finally managed to clear up the misunderstanding - was truly a gem of a woman. He could see so much of who Hardison had turned out to be in her kindness, her cleverness, her sense of humor. She’d broken out the picture albums for him, and had even kindly let him keep one photo of a gaptoothed little Alec in a horrible bowl cut, grinning proudly and brandishing a blue ribbon next to his science project. To Eliot’s complete lack of surprise, he’d won every year with zero competition from his peers.

(He told her that he wanted the picture to make fun of Hardison with. It was true, but she still just patted him on the shoulder and told him to keep it. Didn’t say a word when he tucked it into his wallet with unnecessary care.)

They talked for a long time. She gave him a journal to copy directly from her personal recipe book, a lovely clothbound thing spattered with grease and burnt at one edge, smelling of spices and old paper; clearly well used. She told him it was passed down from her mother, who’d put in lots of her mother’s recipes. Eliot took notes as she talked him through every one. He had a good memory but he didn’t want to miss a thing, and her recipes as written were bare bones. He could cook a delicious meal from them easily enough, but it wouldn’t have her heart in it, not like what he wanted to make.

Just talking could only do so much, and eventually they found themselves in the kitchen, demonstrating techniques and favored spice blends. It was nice, just in and of itself. Eliot rarely got to talk shop with other cooks, and it had been a long time since he’d eaten anything home-made by someone else. Nana never went to school for this stuff, but clearly her long years of experience carried their own weight, because she knew what she was talking about. 

It was late in the night by the time Eliot left her house, feeling himself flush to his ears as she kissed him on the cheek before waving until he’d driven away. And this after wrapping him up in a tight, warm hug just inside the front door.

“Alec’s done well for himself,” she said, and winked. “Now, next time I want you to bring that young lady of yours as well, you hear me? Make that a promise.”

“I will,” he said.

.

It was nearly three AM by the time he got home. Parker crashed out of the dark the second he stepped inside, clinging to him as he caught her midair.

“You made Hardison sad on his birthday,” she told him sternly, and headbutted him hard on the temple. As he winced, she pressed her nose down against his shoulder and took a long sniff. “You smell like lemons.”

“You made me sad on Hardison’s birthday,” Eliot sighed. “I mean, mad.”

“Doesn’t matter, you made him sad so I’m not sorry,” she said, and snuggled close.

Eliot carried her through the apartment, avoiding bumping into any furniture through the ease of experience, and into the bedroom. Hardison was sprawled across the mattress, fast asleep with a frown.

Setting Parker down, Eliot got undressed and climbed into the bed. He scooted behind Hardison, leaning up on an elbow to swipe a gentle thumb over the furrow between his brows. It came back, so he wiped at it again, and kissed Alec’s shoulder when he huffed a little and his face relaxed. Eliot kissed him one more time, then lay down behind him with an arm draped over his side.

Rather than going around the bed to the free space on Hardison’s other side, Parker crammed herself onto the mattress right behind Eliot, pushing him further into Hardison and determinedly spooning him.

He craned his neck up to look at her in the dark. She met his gaze solemnly and squeezed tighter, slipping a leg between his.

Eliot fell asleep warm, entangled in the two loves of his life.

.

He woke stinking hot, still entangled but a lot less happy about it. This happened every time he slept in the middle; he didn’t know why he kept letting it happen. Every single time he’d wake abruptly, heart thrumming in an instinctive alert to something wrong... Only to realize that something was just Parker drooling on his ear, or Hardison’s morning breath in his face, and (every time) both their limbs all wrapped up around him and each other in a very sweet, sweaty, and constricting mess.

The first few times he’d suffered through it, unwilling to wake them. Still basking in the fact that he was here, that he got to be a part of this. But Hardison slept like the dead, and Parker had the ability to wake up and go back to sleep pretty much indefinitely, so Eliot had no compunctions about shoving them aside anymore. He also knew that the other two were night owls who would happily sleep in to eight or even ten if left undisturbed. Eliot woke habitually at five regardless of how late he’d been up, maybe six at the latest; morning snuggles just really weren’t practical.

He wriggled free, clambering over Parker and catching her when the bed dipped and she nearly fell to the floor. Her eyes shot open, clocked him, then dropped shut as she went right back to sleep. He left them there and went to go take a shower, then wandered into the kitchen, grabbing up his new cookbook from his jacket pocket on the way.

Eliot was operating on only a couple hours of sleep; Nana didn’t exactly live next door, and he was frankly lucky he’d got out the cake relatively early in the afternoon, to be able to catch her awake at all. It wasn’t like he’d ruined Hardison’s whole birthday, just that last part they’d set aside for the three of them. They had already hung out with Nate and Sophie in the morning, and Hardison had a long phone call with Nana even before that. Parker had even given Hardison her present: a little statuette originally from a museum in Delhi if Eliot wasn’t mistaken. It was some god or something, but bore a striking resemblance to an Ewok, a detail she’d correctly guessed Hardison would love. He’d been planning on giving his present after the cake, at which point they were going to, on Hardison’s specific request, have a very normal and boring date at home. There had been a lot of jobs lately, so that must have tied into his desire for domesticity - that and ‘birthday rights’ to force them to watch all his nerd movies and lose at various video games.

They hadn’t planned anything for today either, so it wasn’t like those plans couldn’t still happen... And in fact yesterday hadn’t even been Hardison’s real birthday, just the replacement day they’d agreed to celebrate on when a con ran through the actual day. But in the cold light of day he felt a lot more stupid about taking a vegetable-related risk on Hardison’s cake, and then reacting stupidly when they didn’t like it. To be fair, he hadn’t considered it a risk at all, hadn’t even been thinking of his ongoing quest to feed them better so much as the fact that carrot cakes were good and he knew Hardison liked cream cheese frosting - but still. Sophie may have hit the nail on the head, but it was still a stupid and immature nail to let get in the way like he’d done.

He had to at least try to make it up to him.

Accordingly, the breakfast casserole Eliot put together was about as far removed from a healthy meal as any non-dessert in Nana’s cookbook. A baked blueberry French toast creation with lots of sugar, it actually was more of a dessert than anything else. It also took hours in the fridge, but that was alright; not the first time Eliot getting up so much earlier came in handy.

He took the time that it spent in the fridge to clean the apartment. He got out his gift to Hardison, swept and mopped and watered all the plants. Did some laundry, meditated a bit. Pretty much just puttered around for hours, steadily feeling worse and worse about his outburst the day before. Parker had been accepting if not forgiving, and didn’t need an explanation; Hardison might not feel the same. Eliot didn’t expect him to; he was the one clearly in the wrong. He really couldn’t regret the outcome of meeting Nana and getting her recipes, but it should have been on any other day.

He managed to time the casserole just to when the other two got up; just as Eliot pulled it from the oven, Parker wandered into the room.

“Ooh!” she said, and approached with a clear intent to stick her fingers directly into the hot food. Eliot intercepted her with a glare and a whap with his oven-mitt. She retaliated with a vicious pinch to the back of his hand and grabbed a blueberry off the top, tossing it into her mouth and wincing as she burnt herself chewing it.

“Quit that, it’s Hardison’s,” he told her.

“Hardison!” Parker yelled in what appeared to be terror, because of course she would. “I need your help right now!”

He came tumbling into the room, still only half-dressed and clumsily wielding Parker’s taser at the couch. When he saw only the two of them calmly watching him, he attempted to hide it behind his back.

“Oh hey, what’s up everyone,” he said nonchalantly. “Breakfast? Awesome. Smells like something Nana used to make.”

Parker went over and kissed him as she stole the taser out of his hand. She held it up in front of his face.

“Mine,” she scolded.

“Hey, I was ready to defend your life,” Hardison said, mock-offended. “What, you want me to run into an ambush empty-handed? Come on, baby, look who you’re talking to.”

“If you’d let Eliot teach you MMA like me then -”

“Then what, you’d use it as an excuse to choke me out again? I know what you’re after, I recognize that look in your eyes -”

“Hey, come’n eat.” Eliot put two full plates of breakfast  casserole down on the island. He braced himself, ready for Hardison to keep giving him the silent treatment or outright call him out on his behavior.

It didn’t happen.

“Morning Eliot,” he said as he came over to grab a stool. He leaned across the island; when Eliot was too surprised to meet him halfway, he rolled his eyes and reached out a hand to grab his face and pull it close enough for a quick kiss. Then he plopped down into his seat, inhaling deeply at his food. “Oh man, this smells exactly like Nana’s Blueberry Thing, I loved that as a kid. How’d you know?”

Eliot slowly sank down from his tiptoes. His stomach hurt a little from being yanked up against the edge of the island, his lips still felt the impression of Hardison’s. He... really didn’t understand.

“Uh, Nana said you liked it best,” he replied a little too woodenly. Neither of his partners seemed to notice.

“You been talkin’ to her without me?” Hardison asked, before taking a bite and moaning. It wasn’t a sex moan - Eliot knew what those sounded like - but it was damn near. “Did you turn into her? What the hell, this is it, this is the Blueberry Thing!”

Parker was at her own plate the moment Eliot said Nana; she was always fascinated by any mention of the woman, and would probably taze him for meeting her first. Right now, she was digging into her own plate, eyes closed.

Eliot cut himself a serving too and sat down to eat with them. He felt tentative, somehow, embarrassed.

“Yeah,” he grunted. “Went to talk to her last night. Got some recipes.”

The food was good. Sweet, warm, filling; clearly a comfort meal. He dug in.

When he looked up, Parker and Hardison were both staring at him. She opened her mouth, paused, and then fell silent with a glance to Hardison. He was staring at Eliot, mouth open.

“What the hell, hon?”

Eliot clenched his jaw. He knew what he should say. He’d spent all morning prepping himself to say it.

“...You never opened my present,” he said instead.

Hardison squinted at him.

“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna without you there,” he said pointedly.

“Right, well, here,” Eliot said and shoved it his direction before going back to his food. He could feel them staring at him but didn’t lift his head, kept shoveling bite after bite into his mouth as he heard Hardison final tearing at the wrapping paper, grumbling incoherently to himself.

A moment later, the angry mumbles got louder when he opened the first box to reveal the second one.

By the time Hardison got down to the final layer, a small paper booklet six boxes in, Parker was snickering rudely and his muttering was about half swear-words. Eliot still didn’t look up, kept waiting until Hardison actually read the gift.

(He’d thought it would be funny, obviously. He’d thought it would be hilarious, to watch Hardison getting more and more irritated by the wrapping paper. And he knew the gift itself wasn’t anything much, but Eliot usually prided himself on being good at getting people things they didn’t know they wanted, or didn’t think they’d ever get. He knew it was childish and kind of stupid right from the jump, but money didn’t really mean too much to Hardison, and he was confident he’d love this.

After his behavior last night, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Immaturity took on a different tone right now.)

“‘Eliot Tickets,’“ he heard Hardison read off slowly, then - “no.”

He glanced up sharply, but it’d been a sound of delight. Hardison’s eyes were wide and he was flipping through the pages rapidly with an ever-widening grin.

“No nerd jokes for twenty-four hours, back massage, favorite food, favorite sex, get-out-of-scolding free, dessert for dinner, oh my god Comic-Con?! Get to play with your hair, get to pick your cover, computer lessons, videogames, sleeping in, what kind of goldmine is this -”

Parker leaned over his shoulder as he kept going, pointing out her favorites as they worked their way quickly through the rest of the little booklet. It wasn’t horrendously long, but long enough: one ticket for every year. Twenty-eight in all.

Twenty-nine, including the piece of paper Eliot had slipped in front of the last page at seven-thirty this morning, before carefully re-wrapping every box.

“‘One I’m sorry,’” Parker read out loud. She met Eliot’s eyes as she asked, “Are you gonna use it?”

Hardison hummed thoughtfully, then picked it up to reveal the last page.

“No, I’mma save this for just the right time,” he said, waving it in the air. He looked Eliot in the eye and smirked meaningfully. “You messed up, man, you didn’t put an expiration date on any of these.”

“Dammit,” Eliot grumbled, like he’d just realized.

(It hadn’t been a mistake.)

“Don’t need that right now anyway,” Hardison continued, tucking it back into the middle of the book. “This, on the other hand - this one I’m cashing in now.”

Eliot took the little piece of paper Hardison ripped free. He sighed.

“Really?”

“Hell yes, now get in here - and no complaining, them’s the rules you made your own self. You too, Parker, c’mere.”

Eliot stood up and rounded the island, halting with a sigh just before reaching Hardison, who stood to meet him. He ripped the coupon in half.

“All right, here goes.”

Tucking the pieces into his pocket, Eliot stepped forward into Hardison’s outstretched arms, tucking himself in close and hugging him back tightly. A moment later, he felt Parker collide with them both, one arm over his shoulders and a leg around his hips. He sighed again, this time into Hardison’s shoulder, and let himself sway when they did, a gentle rock back and forth.

He closed his eyes when they started to sting.

“Sorry,” he mumbled into Hardison’s shoulder after a long minute. “Shouldn’ta left.”

“That does not count, Eliot,” Hardison told him firmly, and didn’t let go. “I did not use my coupon, I still got my coupon, you aren’t getting out of anythin’ with that you hear me?”

Parker snickered behind him.

“Not getting out of anything at all,” she said, and squeezed tighter. “We’ve got you trapped.”

.

(The next time he fed them vegetables, it was a Nana recipe and Hardison ate without complaint. Parker ate because she wanted to know what it felt like to be a little Hardison, and proclaimed the experience ‘like one of my harnesses’ which was obviously a very positive review.

The next time he fed them vegetables and it wasn’t a Nana recipe, they exchanged a look and then each ate exactly half of their servings. The rest they snuck back onto Eliot’s plate one bite at a time like he wouldn’t notice. He let them get away with it and looked down at everyone’s empty plates afterward with a weird content feeling relaxing his shoulders.

The next time he saw Nana, her words on Hardison’s bragging proved embarrassingly correct. She and Parker got along like a house on fire, and if left alone too long would probably cause a house on fire, and Hardison just watched them with a giant grin like he didn’t see the danger. Nana asked Eliot if he’d considered what they talked about last time right in front of them both, proving beyond all doubt that she shared Hardison’s love of driving him goddamn crazy for fun.

The next carrot cake he made was for Sophie and Nate. He refused to call it a thank you, but she did and also asked him to make that little French quiche she’d talked about like she honestly expected “it had spinach, I think, something green anyway, it was very light, and some kind of unexpected spice too?” would be enough to go on. Nate was no help whatsoever.)

[namfine]

⦿ | 𝕲𝖚𝖑𝖆 : 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕀𝕟𝕕𝕦𝕝𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖 | ⦿

gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or wealth items.

                                         - - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

β pairing: kim seokjin x reader

β word count: 5.3k

β summary: your boyfriend’s mastery of the kitchen is a pleasant surprise. he loves watching you enjoy the food he makes for you, and he has you eating out of the palm of his hand- literally. when a cute little game turns into something more sinister, can you handle the heat, or do you need to get out of the kitchen?

β tags: 18+/smut, bts smut, seokjin x reader, reader insert, boyfriend jin, blindfold, strip game, food play, oral (f + m receiving), light breath play, ripping clothes, unprotected sex (pls stay safe kids), lite monster fucking?, demon au

β part: 2 out of 7 of our seven deadly sins milestone challenge

⋫ link to master list here

β a/n: heya everyone! hope you enjoyed zesty’s first chapter yesterday! we’re diving a little deeper into the next sin. things will continue to unravel from here, so be sure to stay tuned because we will be releasing a chapter every day this week! please go to the masterlist linked above to see the rest of the chapters- you’re definitely going to want to read these bad boys in order. thanks luv, enjoy!

love, ya girl minty ✧

Jin’s front door opens, and a wall of aromas smack right into you. The scents flying into your nose whisk you away to a faraway shoreline, where the fresh breeze is hinted with a little bit of the ocean’s saltiness. The bright smell of lemon and the rich smell of wood chips fill you with delight, and your stomach churns at the thought of what he’s prepared for you. 

You have been seeing Jin for a couple of months at this point, and he had finally, finally offered for the two of you to have a special dinner at his house. You’d been dreaming of taking it further with him every time you had been out with him, but he was a very classy guy, not that you were opposed. He had been intent on the two of you taking time with your budding relationship. Though you had spent hours flushed at your daydreams of him between your legs, eager for him to just get down there already, you allowed your desire to build inside of you. When you were finally allowed to let the dam burst, you wanted it to be a flood.

 He is easily the dreamiest guy you’d ever seen in your life. He’s tall. He’s got the most gorgeous set of lips. His laugh is just ridiculous enough to be endearing. When you’d hugged him goodbye at the end of these last several dates you’d been on, his strong and broad shoulders rippling under your arms had your knees weakened and crumbling in moments. He’s incredibly handsome, and he knows it. 

And you love it.

You’re plucked back to reality when you catch Jin looking you over, slowly up and down, taking in every inch of your form with his hungry eyes. His eyes are much darker than you remember, but it could just be a trick of the light. Tonight, they look like they’re churning with something mischievous. He’s also never been so bold about checking you out before.  Perhaps there is a hope there’s more to his menu tonight than just food. 

“Come in from the night, beautiful,” he says, reaching for your waist and helping you in his front door, “you’re right on time; everything is just about ready.”

You’re glad to come indoors, too. The sun had just barely fully set, but it had already turned cold. He gently shuts the door behind you as you take off your shoes, and for a moment, a waft of something sharp hits your senses. It smells a little like something is roasting, maybe broccoli, judging by that slight sulfur tang.

“What smells so good, Jin?” you ask flirtatiously as you follow him into the kitchen. You take a seat on the stool at his kitchen island and watch as he begins stirring something in a large pot ever so gently. His dress shirt sleeves are rolled up over his forearms, and taking in the sight is stirring something within you. 

“I’ve got one pretty big lobster finishing up in that pot next to me, and this one I’m stirring has the pasta. I’ll be adding the meat to the lemon butter sauce in that pan there, and then I’ll toss it with the capellini which should… just… be… about… done?” he says, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he whisks out a steaming noodle and slurps it into his mouth, leaving his perfect bottom lip slightly damp. God, you want his mouth on you so badly, you feel like you could die.  “Mmm,” he says, “al dente,” and you can’t rip your eyes off of how his lips move when he speaks. It’s almost as if his words came out in slow motion. That’s how mesmerizing this man is. If there wasn’t a steaming pot in front of you, it would be so easy to just lean across the counter and kiss him, to finally feel his lips on yours, to hold onto his shoulders as--

“Wanna try?” he asks, breaking you from your devilish thoughts. You find his hand itches away from your lips, offering you a noodle that is hanging delicately off of his pointer and middle fingers. You swallow hard before opening your lips and wrapping your mouth over his fingertips, using your tongue to secure the noodle before pulling yourself off. You dared to look up into his eyes, desperately hoping that he would understand your verbal message. You needed him to know how badly you wanted him. His eyes flashed with something incomprehensible, something that looked like, for a moment, wild anger, and you quickly avert your gaze and really hope he wasn’t turned off by your eager advancement. Just as you mentally scold yourself, it hits you again. That smacking smell of sulfur, for just an instant.

“Is there broccoli too?” you ask, trying to play off your daring move. “I thought I smelled some when I walked in.”

“No broccoli, just a summer salad for a side,” he says casually, looking back across his shoulders as he drains the pasta in the sink, steam rising. “I hope that doesn’t disappoint you,” he adds with a little bit of his odd laugh, “I’ve never heard of anyone being upset at a lack of broccoli.”

“No, it’s fine,” you laugh as he turns back to the stove to grab the other pot with the lobster, “I just swore I could have smelled it. Either that or maybe boiled eggs? Maybe for the salad?” 

He turns back to the sink to drain out this pot, and you see three large bright red-orange lobsters fall out into the colander. 

“Nope, not that either, I’m afraid,” he says as he carries the lobsters onto his wooden cutting board and begins the de-shelling process. “The salad is a mix of field greens and spinach with candied pecans, sunflower seeds, sliced strawberry and mandarin oranges, topped with a simple vinaigrette. No egg in sight, my dear.”

You hear a patter and a tinkling sound from his hallway and moments later, a little black and tan miniature pinscher trots out. 

“Jin! I didn’t know you had a dog,” you say, reaching down to let the little guy sniff your hand. He seems unimpressed and hops onto the lounge chair just in the other room.

“Name’s Spot. I got him as a guard dog.”

You glance over at the small pup curled up on the chair and snicker. “There’s no way he’s a guard dog. He’s so cute and tiny!”

Jin laughs a little, “He gets the job done. Alright!” Jin exclaims, clapping his hands together. “Dinner is ready! Go get comfortable,” he says, gesturing to the table, “I’ll bring you your plate.”

Wow, you think, he’s really going over the top with this dinner. You seat yourself and take in how beautifully the table’s been set. Two matching sets of sparkling white dinnerware on either side of the table, and in between, two small candles sit, waiting to be lit. There’s a beautiful clear glass bottle of still water and a very expensive looking white wine to your left. You pick up the wine bottle and give it a look. LaVeyan Vineyards. You’ve heard that name before, but you can’t quite place it. 

You glance back up at Jin who is skillfully plating your food, before glancing over to Spot who is sleeping soundly on the chair. You nearly drop the bottle of wine in your surprise, because there are three dogs on the living chair. You forcefully shut your eyes, only to open them and still find the three dogs still there sound asleep. Just as you’re about to turn and call over to Jin, he sits your plates in front of you and caresses your shoulder, interrupting your gaze from the growing dogpile. When you look back, there’s just the one little snoring pinscher again.

“What is it?” he asks, concern lacing his voice as he rubs circles on your shoulder. “You look like you might be nauseous.”

“No, I’m fine,” you say, “I just must be really hungry.”

“Well, then, enjoy!” Jin says, watching you intently as you take a generous first bite of your salad. The taste is nothing like you’ve ever had before. The sweet nuttiness of the pecans, the crispness of the fresh spinach, the crunch of the sunflower seeds and the tartness of the orange and vinaigrette swirl together and overwhelm and consume you. You melt away, feeling like you and the food are one. 

Sometime later, the wine is gone and your plates are clean. There’s not a drop of sauce or dressing left. You’ve never been so full in your life, even still, you long to eat more.

“Jin, this has to be the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I can’t believe you made this.”

“Only the best for you. But I do hope you have room left, because I think it’s time for… dessert.”

“Dessert?”

“I’d like to play a little game with you. You’re going to close your eyes, and I’m going to feed you something. Using only your taste and smell, you have to tell me what it is. If you get it wrong, there will be… consequences.”

This piqued your interest. You’d almost fainted when Jin let you eat the pasta off of his hand earlier. You wonder for a moment again if he knows just how weak he makes you. 

“Okay, close your eyes.”

You do as you're told, shaking with anticipation. Your world becomes dark, and you sit there waiting for Jin. Something cool touches your lips, and you part them a little bit to allow the food in. It’s a slightly conical shape, but there’s no taste to it. 

“Bite.”

As soon as you bite, the familiar flavor bursts onto your tongue. As you chew, the sweet and tangy flavor coats your mouth, and you smile, knowing that you’ll get this one right.

“Strawberry. Easy.”

“Very good. This next one will be a little harder.”

The next sensation to hit your lips is a surprisingly cool and tangy pudding-like texture. It swirls with what feels like a warm whipped cream that’s been toasted. You can taste the little bit of char on the top, and then there's the crunch of something buttery as you chew. This one is definitely more complex, but you’ve had this before. 

“Lemon meringue pie.”

“You’re right again, my dear.”

“You’re going to have to try harder than that, Jin.”

Your eyes remain closed as you feel something smooth and cool graze against your bottom lip. You open wider to accommodate, and as you close your lips around it, you feel that you’re eating off of a spoon. Once the spoon is gone, you’re left with a sweet and spongy mouthful of… something. This one is definitely more difficult. There’s coffee, cream, and chocolate. Some sort of cake texture fights with a fluffy cream for dominance. There’s something familiar about this taste, though. You remember having it several summers ago with your friend Soobin. Where were you? You struggle to bring up the memory. The smell of fresh bread and a summer breeze soars through you. You’re hit with the smell of after dinner coffee, and then you can see a small plate in front of you at the cafe table. You were in Italy, and the dish you had shared with Soobin was…

“Tiramisu.”

“Impressive. Although I was hoping you would get it wrong. Let me try again.”

“You’re on.”

Feeling cocky, you sit there with your mouth wide open. You’re more than ready for his next challenge. 

In slides something warm and sticky, and you feel the juice coat your tongue as you chew. It’s definitely rice; the texture is unmistakable. It’s sweet, tropical, and pudding-like in consistency. A sticky sweet bite of fruit bursts in your mouth. The cold fruit fights with the warm pudding for dominance, and they end up in a draw, mixing perfectly with each other to create something so harmonious, it should be impossible. You’ve never tasted anything like this, and it’s driving you crazy. 

“So, what is it?” Jin asks. You don’t have to be able to see to know he has a smug look on his face.

“Let me have another bite,” you say. He obliges and you’re sent again into the whirlwind of flavor. This time you pick out coconut and mango as those tropical flavors, as the combination dances on your tongue and drives you dizzy.

“I’ve never had anything like this, Jin.”

“Does that mean that you can’t give me a correct answer?”

“Is it… rice pudding?”

“No, it’s not.”

You open your eyes. There’s nothing on the table but your empty plates and the table setting. Where did those deserts come from?

“I have to know what that was. That was the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“First… Consequences, my dear,” Jin says, standing from the table. He strides over to you and lifts you up out of the chair by your hands. He leads you out of the kitchen and down the short hallway into his bedroom.

“J-Jin?” you stutter, “what are we doing?”

“Consequences.” he states, sitting you on the end of his bed. As you sink into the soft comforter, he walks to his dresser and retrieves something out of the drawer. He turns back around and presents to you a dull orange blindfold. 

“I didn’t say you could open your eyes yet, so I guess this is the only way I can be sure you won’t peek,” he says, poking his tongue into the side of his mouth. The change in scenery seeps in.

“Are we going to continue… in here?”

“I’d like to… heighten the stakes a little,” he says, towering over you. He holds your jaw delicately in his hand, and directs you to look up at him. “Every time you guess wrong, I get to remove a piece of your clothing.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

“And once I have you the way I want you, because you will be getting every answer wrong from here on out, I’m going to eat you up. How does that sound?”

There’s no way you can speak right now, so you just affix the blindfold over your eyes and release a shaky breath.

“Very good. Now tell me, what is this?”

You bite down on something that feels like melon, but the taste is… bizarre. It’s savory, and you feel the ice cold juice run out and coat your tongue. It’s incredibly delicious, but you have no idea what it is. It’s an impossible food. As you chew, it gets more and more complex; flavors of cinnamon and ginger swirl together and then as it breaks down further, you begin to taste… ash.

“Jin, what is this?”

“I’ll take that as wrong answer number one. First, your shirt. I’ve been wondering what your bra looks like all night. I bet you put on your sexiest set, hoping I would see it.”

You had never imagined for him to be this… blunt. You would be lying if you said it wasn’t turning you on further. Him simply feeding you already had you soaked. You feel his hands on your hips, and his fingers dip beneath the hem of your blouse, inching it up and gingerly lifting it over your head, careful to not disturb the blindfold. You hear his breath hitch when your breasts are exposed to the chilly air. He was right, you did put on your nicest bra. The way your simple necklace draped down your cleavage and accentuated the curve of your breast was lighting a fire in him. 

“Of course you have perfect tits,” he mumbles. As you open your mouth to ask him what that was supposed to mean, he gingerly places another morsel on your lips. He must be eager for you to try again. You bite down and crack through some sort of hard coating, and a sticky inside clings to your molars. You chew and chew, trying to decipher the flavor, but really nothing is there. It’s as if you were chewing on air. Only when you swallow, you’re met with the taste of dust.

“Jin, this is getting weird,” you say.

“Do you not know what this one is either?” Jin asks, a slightly teasing tone slipping like honey from his lips.

“It didn’t taste like anything at all, Jin!”

“Are you saying I fed you something bad?”

“No, I-”

“Okay then, sweetheart,” he says, slipping his fingers along the inside of your thigh, dipping just below the hem of your skirt, “I think you know what comes next.”

Your breath hitches as he unzips your side zipper. He takes his sweet ass time with it too, fingers barely grazing your hip as he shimmies the fabric down. Your palms begin to sweat as you reflexively lift yourself up to help him get them off. 

“You are a hungry woman, aren’t you?” Jin questions as you hear your skirt hit the floor. You really wish you could see where he is. You really wish you could see where exactly he’s looking. “I knew you would be a dangerous little thing, but coming into my house, my realm, my domain without the decency to even wear panties?” 

You unconsciously cross your legs and tilt your head away from where his deep voice is speaking from a distance. You can’t see him looking at you, but you can feel it. You can feel the weight of his gaze roaming over your body. You feel utterly exposed, and a little humiliated. You also feel very aroused. As if he can read your thoughts, he speaks again, this time quietly into the shell of your ear.

“You know you came here with one thing on your mind. You’ve been teasing me all night. Look at you, you’re practically shaking,” he says with a small chuckle, “you’re touch starved, aren’t you, my darling?”

His large hands wander down your waist and hips and he grips your thigh, just firm enough for you to feel small bruises forming where his fingertips dig into your flesh. His grip is almost sharp, but that tiny bit of pain only causes you to clench around nothing.

“I did promise to eat you up, did I not?” Jin says, as you feel him getting closer to your bare form. There’s an immense heat radiating off of him, and that drives you to reach out and touch him. His chest is as firm and tight as you’d imagined, but his skin is hot to the touch, almost burning. He slightly winces at the coolness of your touch, but is only emboldened by your engagement. 

You feel yourself being shoved back onto his mattress, and your breath leaves your lungs upon impact. The next thing you know, your legs are being roughly opened, the cool air against your dripping heat causing you to clench again. Jin chuckles darkly.

“I’ve barely even touched you, and you’re already dripping for me,” he says, swiping up your entrance and collecting some of your slick. You hear an obscene popping noise, and as soon as you realize what he’s done, you gasp. The mental image you have of Jin’s perfect lips coated in your slick has to be nothing compared to what he actually looks like right now. There’s a guttural groan, not much more than a low rumble coming from the man between your thighs.

“My dear, the gods knew what they were doing when they made you. They knew you would ruin me.”

Before you can ask, his mouth is firmly on your slit, sucking and nibbling at your folds like a man starved. He grunts into your sopping cunt, hands firm on your legs as he slurps up every last drop of you. Your hands find purchase on his comforter, and you thrust up into him, a silent beg for more. 

His tongue slides inside of you, farther than you think it ought to go, but you’re too far gone reeling in ecstasy to protest. His tongue splits you open as his nose finds purchase on your aching clit, and you’re sent into a silent scream. Your hands race to his beautiful black hair to hold onto him for dear life, wanting to be assured he can’t pull away. You twist your fingers through his soft locks and find purchase on two solid objects protruding from his head. 

You edge closer, begging him not to stop as he struggles to hold your hips in place. His tongue is replaced by two of his fingers, that same sharpness you felt before on your thigh now at your inner walls. He curls his fingers up into the spot that will have you seeing stars, and he finally speaks again. This time, his voice is almost an octave lower, and heavy with desire.

“I can’t wait to taste your orgasm on my tongue. Cum for me, darling. Let me taste all that your sweet pussy has to offer.”

And with that, you come undone.

It’s as if your climax rips through your body and destroys everything in its wake. Your bones feel like jelly, and your mind is torn to shreds. Here, in this time and place, it’s as if you cease to exist for an instant. You are utterly consumed by your orgasm. The pleasure is so great that you forget who and what you are; all you know is that you want more. You don’t even register that you’re screaming until you start to come back down. Your body pieces itself back together, your heartbeat resumes normalcy, and you find your hands still firmly affixed to Jin’s silky hair. 

“I want more,” you say, voice cracking. You’re met with another growl, this time directly on your swollen folds. You get a glimpse for only a moment out of the bottom of your blindfold, and that instance will forever be burned into your mind. Jin is looking straight up at you from between your thighs, slick coating his plump and swollen lips. His irises are no longer the warm chocolate hue you’ve grown to love, but between the few stray strands of hair that has fallen into his face now lie two bright and churning orange eyes. 

“What, one orgasm not enough for you?” the man teases, “I knew you were a hungry woman, but I hadn’t pegged you as glutton for punishment. Are you sure you can handle more of me?”

“Jin, let me be clear: I want you to give me everything you have. I want it all.”

You can hear him exhale deeply as you feel him crawling on top of you. His heat again radiates onto your chest, and intensifies as he comes closer. He’s thrown one leg to each side of you, and his weight on your hips is delicious. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You don’t realize the mess you’re getting yourself in, little one,” he says, almost tenderly, as he grazes your collarbones with his touch.

“I think it is you who will be rendered a mess when this is all over, dear.” you retort, confident in your ability to make him see stars as well.

“Don’t hold your breath,” he mumbles against your ear. “Or… do.” he says and quickly fastens his hand around the base of your neck. Your heart quickens its pace at your lack of oxygen, but you’re determined to hold out. Only when you start seeing spots does he let go and wrap his hands around your body tenderly. 

“I bet you thought I was going to be rather plain when it comes to sex,” he toys. “You thought you were going to come in here and seduce me tonight. You thought you were with an innocent man. You thought wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth, little one.”

The hand that was once caressing your back is now ripping through the fabric of your bra. As you hear the fabric tear, you feel a deep rumble in Jin’s chest. How can anyone be strong enough to tear through the band of your bra?

Maybe you had bitten off more than you can chew.

You hear what you assume to be your bra hitting the floor, and Jin wastes no time in making you putty in his hands again. He is busy placing open mouthed kisses over your chest and down your cleavage, taking special care to remove your delicate necklace.

“You should be more careful with pretty necklaces,” he says into the crook of your neck, biting down there where your pulse point is. You feel something poking against the inside of your leg, and you wonder for a moment when he managed to remove his pants.

“Jin, please,” you beg, your voice lingering on his name, hoping the extra little bit of whine would get you what you want. You feel his cock twitching right at your folds, and having what you desire be so close and yet so far away is the closest thing to actual torture you’ve ever experienced. You start clenching around nothing again each time you feel his cock twitch. You’re still so wet, he could just so easily slip right i-

Your thoughts are cut short as he takes his time inserting himself into your still dripping cunt. You thought it would be frictionless, but clearly he is much... bigger than you’d anticipated. Inch by inch, he slowly sinks into you. The stretch is slightly painful, but the fullness that accompanies it is to die for. His tip reaches your cervix, and you realize that there is still more of him to go. 

He pauses. You whimper.

“I warned you, beautiful,” is all he says before he’s slamming into you over and over again, hitting your cervix and sending waves of pleasure through you. The slight pain fades and all you’re left with is unbelievable ecstasy. You reach up to hold onto his shoulders, desperate for support. You feel the muscle ripple under your touch, as he uses his arms to grab your hips. You don’t remember his hands being this big, but they seem to be able to wrap all the way around your hips. 

In no time, you feel yourself approaching your second high, and you wrap your hands around his back. You want to dig your nails into his skin; you want him to notice the scratch marks you leave and be reminded of tonight. On your way down, you feel a rough patch of skin near his shoulder blades. Like it’s been shredded over and over again. Jin hisses as your hands drape over his scars, and you’re afraid you hurt him, but it’s followed with the deepest groan you’ve heard yet. His hips start to sputter, and you can tell he’s getting close. You scratch down his back once more and you finally get to hear how he sounds when he comes undone. His release triggers your own, and you’re both reeling through your orgasms, panting hard into each other’s mouths.

He pulls out of you with an obscene pop and you wince at the loss of warmth. You sit up, wondering where he’s gone, but in a flash his warm hands are on your shoulders, holding you steady. 

“You think I’m done with you yet?” he asks, “Or is that all you can take? Do you still want more?”

You feel his seed drip out of you, and that sparks an idea. You quickly get onto your knees in front of him and let your hands roam down his torso until you find his cock, still completely hard. You guide his tip to your mouth, and you hear him gasp. You take in just his tip, tasting yourself on him, and let out a moan of your own.

“You know,” you say against the shaft of his cock, “You would enjoy this so much more if I could make eye contact with you.”

“You’re insufferable, aren’t you?” he grunts out as you continue to tease his tip with your tongue. “You’re almost too hot to handle, you know that? I’d be surprised if anyone else can… handle you like I can.”

“Just admit that you’re not strong enough to last long if I take your whole dick and look at you. Or I could just take off the blindfold and you could prove me wrong.”

“Well, well, is that some pride I see?” he asks with a low chuckle, “Oh dear, you’re in for quite a ride, aren’t you? Have it your way, spoiled brat,” he says as he rips the blindfold off.

Your eyes have to adjust to the new level of light, but when they do, you’re met with the most intense stare you’ve ever seen. Jin is staring right through you, right between the stray pieces of hair that’s fallen into his face. His whole body glistens with sweat; his chest is flashing as he breathes. From his parted lips come his last demand, wrapped up nicely in just a single word.

“Swallow.”

You waste no time in showing him what you can do. You alternate teasing his head with taking him as much as you can with some help from your hands. You quicken the pace and hollow out your cheeks as you make eye contact with him, getting lost in his beautiful brown eyes. He tilts his head back and you can see his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to contain himself. His abdominal muscles clench when you hit a particularly sensitive spot, and you know you’ve got him. 

He told you to swallow, but you don’t think he was anticipating you being able to do this.

You paused, only just to catch his attention and have his eyes back on you. Opening your throat, you ease down every last inch he has, and he fingers through your hair, using it as a hold as he fucks into your mouth. Tears are stinging your eyes as his devilish length hits the back of your throat, but you know he’s close again. 

You hold out until he’s a sputtering mess inside of you, and his cum is like honey on your tongue. You’ve never tasted something so delicious, and you don’t think you ever will again. You wait for Jin to finish, and without wavering eye contact, you look up at him with your best innocent expression, and display your cum covered tongue. You swallow, as instructed, and lay down feeling proud of yourself. 

“You’re going to be trouble, woman,” is all he says before laying down next to you, cock still twitching, eyes closed as he tries to gather himself.

You take this time to scan the room, now only being able to properly see everything. There’s a beautiful painting of two people mid-sex act, and you make a mental note to ask him about it later, because you notice something rather odd. 

You’ve been on your dinner date for maybe a few hours, but according to the sun outside of his bedroom window, it’s the middle of the afternoon. You look back over to the resting Jin to say something, but the reflection of his back in his dresser mirror is… not right. The skin on his back is… cracked. Like a porcelain doll.

“Jin?” you sheepishly ask.

He opens his eyes. 

They’re bright orange.

[vegetalass]

RDR2 Boys Cooking + Eating Habits

Arthur 

Somebody else on here wrote some headcanons about Arthur not being able to cook and just eating microwave food all the time and I just have to say…. That’s canon 

Lowkey though he’s trying his best to get better at cooking

Probably the only thing he knows how to make is pasta 

He adds a bunch of random frozen veggies to water as the noodles are cooking 

And then smothers the whole thing in butter and calls it a meal

Or he puts marinara sauce on it straight from the jar 

And yes, that means it’s cold

He’s also getting better at friend rice, too

But he’s really bad at actually making rice 

If he doesn’t add too much water… He burns the bottom 

Charles makes a mental note to buy him a rice cooker for his birthday 

Makes his own popsicles out of random fruit juices and eats them 24/7 

Thinks this qualifies him as a chef

Eats pickles and olives straight out of the jar with a fork 

And sauerkraut too probably 

Just goes over to john’s house on his pizza nights 

Puts ketchup on eggs

John 

Pizza dad 

Probably orders pizza, salad, and a 64oz soda twice a week 

Everything else is just Dino chicken nuggets, Eggos, hot dogs, quesadillas, and frozen peas and corn 

Food you feed to little kids, basically 

Mostly because he does have a little kid 

But also because it’s easy and takes minimal effort and he doesn’t mind eating it, too

Abigail would be mad but she has no room to talk

The most you’ll see him actually make is buttered pasta (like Arthur) or sometimes beans and rice 

Abigail bought them a rice cooker a while ago so that’s one thing he doesn’t have to worry about 

Probably always has some type of dessert laying around 

Doesn’t mean it’s good, but it’s there 

Abigail buys a bunch of those gross, low calorie ice creams and John ends up having to finishing them 

Family lunches consist of a bologna sandwich on wheat bread with American cheese and mayo, a piece of fruit, a bag of chips or crackers, a go-gurt, and some gummies 

And yes he makes them for himself and Abigail too 

They’re all eating good at the Marston household 

(Not really)

Charles 

Everything he cooks are things that can’t be made in single batches 

Lots of healthy soups, chilis, stew, etc…

Most of the time, he makes too much of whatever it is so he always has leftovers 

Everyone is jealous when he brings them for lunch

Probably finds all of his recipes in the newspaper or random magazines he reads while at the grocery store checkout line

Everyone is like, “Charles… Why are you reading Women’s Fitness?” 

And he’s like, “Check out this salad recipe, though”

Puts hot sauce on everything 

Salad, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers... You name it 

And he’s the king of snacking

All of his snacks are healthy, though

Raw veggies and fruit and quinoa chips from Whole Foods or something like that

Nobody likes this

He’s one of those people who brings hard boiled eggs everywhere as a “snack,” too

And yea, he puts hot sauce on those, also 

He really likes those weird protein bars that are hard to bite into and taste like chalk 

The flavors are either normal stuff like white chocolate macadamia or Protein Power Punch with whey, chia and seaweed 

There’s no in between 

He’s also a charcuterie board legend

Hosea is jealous of this talent

Micah

Spends all his money on take out 

He’s totally one of those weird people who’s entire trash can is just filled with take out boxes and cans of coke or beer

Constantly eating fast food 

You ask him what he bought at the supermarket and he’s like “Pub mix and bud light” 

SIR 

Everything that he does manage to cook only involve one step of preparation 

Unseasoned, fried meats and boiled veggies 

Sometimes scrambled eggs and bacon

If he’s feeling fancy, he will make plain sandwiches

This is very rare, though

Can and will complain about anyone’s cooking

Even if it’s good and he he likes it

There are certain people he can’t do this to, though, or they won’t let him eat

The only person’s cooking he doesn’t complain about is Dutch’s

Constantly snacking from an entire party sized bag of chips

And yes, he eats straight out of the bag and wipes his fingers on his jeans

His oven is dirty

Hosea 

A meal for him is probably a handful of almonds and an applesauce or yogurt cup 

He is constantly making a bunch of those Tik Tok recipes where you just put a bunch of random stuff into your crock pot and add ranch seasoning and cream cheese

*insert all of those memes about mom pulling out the crock pot*

If you complain, he says “Well, you’re always welcome to cook, too”

Wears an apron when he cooks

Constantly eating plain toast with butter

And bananas 

And cheese sticks

Thinks that this makes him “healthy” 

Definitely likes to snack on those cocktail fruit cups and canned mandarin oranges

His entire freezer is just full of ice cream 

It’s all weird flavors like Cherry Garcia, chocolate banana, and pistachio though

Everyone hates him for this

Raisins are his late night treat 

Has a secret stash of candy no one can find 

That’s okay though because it’s mostly Werthers Originals

And Chiclets gum

He picks out all the orange ones, though

Dutch

Tries to re-plate takeout so he can call it his own

Everybody sees through this but they stopped commenting on it like four Thanksgivings ago 

Buys a bunch of those meals from Costco that all you need to do is heat up in the oven

He does like fast food but only from the less popular places

Carl’s Jr., Wendy’s, BK, Arby’s, etc. 

A&W, too, because he’s old and weird

He can totally cook, he just never does 

It’s just normal stuff like spaghetti and meatballs or chicken and rice, though

Tuna fish casserole

He over-seasons everything, though

Mostly because he’s trying to prove that he’s a good cook 

Eats dessert twice, every night 

Once right after dinner, and then later when he’s feeling like a treat 

Will eat in bed

Uses a little bib and tray and everything 

Likes pumpkin and sunflower seeds

Would eat hot wings with gloves on 

He’s the one who taught Arthur to put ketchup on eggs 

Kieran 

The second I realized that Kieran would probably be white trash, my life changed 

Hamburger Helper meals for LIFE

That one cheeseburger pasta? Kieran probably eats that three times a week 

He 100% makes the ketchup-butter sketti from Honey Boo Boo 

“It’s been a while since I done had roadkill in my belly”

His favorite dessert is ambrosia salad or that weird yogurt/Cool Whip covered jello that was popular in the 2000s

Probably has a TV dinner every once in a while, too

Instant mashed potatoes and minute rice type of guy 

Also gives me big microwave cheddar broccoli vibes 

I’ve said this before, but his house is probably stocked with all kinds of on-brand goodies 

Probably always has some kind of chip and cookie around 

Eats dinner in front of the TV

Dips french fries in mayonnaise

All of this said though, he isn’t a picky eater and will eat whatever is put on his plate 

That’s why he’s great to take to restaurants, because he never complains

Honestly it’s just so sweet to think of him making big crockpot meals to share with ppl even if his cooking is a lil.... strange 

Javier

Thinks that the hot dog combo from Costco is a suitable dinner 

Also gets hot food from the grocery store for dinner a lot

Literally will just heat up a can of something and eat it plain 

Beans, chili, soup… 

Doesn’t doctor it up or change it at all 

He’s happy to share but no one wants any

Chips and dip, 24/7

And it’s just Tostitos Hint of Lime chips and hummus

Probably puts hummus on everything, too 

Corn chips, tortilla chips, tortillas, vegetables, sandwiches, etc. 

Will put anything in a tortilla and call it a sandwich 

Eats leftovers cold 

The rest of the gang thinks this is a sin

Makes stir fry with whatever is laying around the house

It’s a little gross because he will try to add leftover beans

Refuses to eat fast food

The only exception he’ll make is for french fries and ice cream

Walks around and eats at the same time

Isn’t above asking the other boys to share with him 

Despite the fact that this only happens if what they’re eating is good

Which is almost never

Sean

Sean can’t cook. That’s the end of it

The most he can make is that weird microwave Mac and cheese where the pasta is boiled in the mug?? 

He never does it tho and just sticks with the normal, frozen Mac and Cheese you can microwave instead

Uses his microwaving ability to make mug cakes

And microwave scrambled eggs

Burns his popcorn every single time

He’s probably set of the smoke detector or fire alarm multiple times

He’s Irish though so of course he’s addicted to potatoes and cabbage

And since he’s from the UK, he likes stuff like beans on toast and marmite

He’s a little nasty too so catch him eating bologna sandwiches on wonder bread

Not even the Marstons are that bad

When he does get takeout, he overspends trying to use a delivery app 

He’s like, “And do I need the extra side of special sauce for $5…? Yes.” 

Cooks like this 

[sicilitude]

I need some advice. I’m hosting a dinner party for my friends and I need to impress them, but I don’t really know how to cook that well. What should I do?

You’ve come to the right place my friend

First of all, have booze: lots of it, lots of variety, lots of mix ins, lots of temperatures. It’ll make everything else go much easier, but don’t drink too much yourself.

You’re going to want some fairly basic recipes that look more impressive than they are, which means roasts are your friend. You’ll want a basic side--whatever kinds of salad you deem appropriate, oiled spaghetti with garlic and breadcrumbs, that kind of thing. Get your bread the same day, from whatever baker you prefer, and warm it up in tin foil in the oven for a few minutes before you serve it. Have your butter out starting that morning too, so it’s nice and soft. 

As for the meal, it depends. If you’re willing to fry some eggplant, make an alla-norma. You’ll want some wide ridged tubes for the pasta, some good quality tomatoes (tinned or fresh, as long as they’re good), some basil, some garlic, the eggplant. Dice the egg plant, fry it in shallow oil until it’s golden brown, let it drain on a wire rack and salt it right when you take it out of the oil. In a different pan, cook your garlic (sliced or diced, either works) very briefly. Add and simmer your tomatoes until they’re as thick and saucy as you like (plan on at least a half hour), throw in the basil when it’s almost done, toss in the eggplant and your cooked tube noodles, and finish with salted ricotta. It’s simple, and easy, and easy to turn into a little assembly line, but it has to be done just before dinner. If you have some time, and want something meaty, you’ll want a stew. Get yourself a few pounds of roast meat (chuck is your best bet), and let it sit on counter for half an hour so it comes up to room temperature. Preheat your oven to about 150C, and break your down into large chunks. Take a large, heavy cast iron pot with a lid (you should be able to get a decent cheap one that’ll last you a very long time), and put it over a hot fire on the stove with some olive oil. Brown your meat in it, remove it once it’s nice and browned on the outside (don’t worry about cooking it), then reduce the heat, add wine and scrape the bottom of the pot to get all the burned meat bits into your wine. Let it reduce a bit, and add tomatoes, chunks of carrots and potatoes and onion, a rosemary sprig or two, whatever dried spices you want to add in, maybe a lemon or orange peel if you’re feeling zesty. Then, cover the pot with the lid, put it in the oven, and forget about it until for a few hours, until about half an hour before dinner starts. The meat should be shreddable, and your vegetables should be soft. Try it, add salt and pepper if you think it’s needed, serve it over whatever starch you like. It’s easy, you can forget about it for hours, but it’s not going to please any vegetarians.

Then, make some coffee for dessert, get some brioche buns, make some granita if you feel like it. There’s no shame in getting a family pack of cannoli either, if you’re in a pinch. Desserts are difficult; focus on your simple main course and no one will be able to say a bad thing about your dinner party.

[tmntstyle]

BIRTHDAY GONE WRONG

**BEEP BEEP BEEP**

A green hand reached over and hit the 'off' button on a Mickey Mouse alarm clock. Stretching and yawning loudly, Michelangelo slowly sat up in his bed. The young terrapin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced across his dimly lit bedroom.

"GASP! Today's the day!!" Mikey exclaimed as he hopped out of bed and bounded to his calendar in excitement. Mikey grinned and bounced in place as he viewed the highly decorated date on the kitten calendar Raph had gotten him for Christmas.

"Ooh I can't wait to see what my amazing older brothers have planned for me today."

Mikey set about to get ready for the day. Once the bathroom had been visited with teeth brushed and an orange mask had been tied securely on his face, Mikey skipped out to the main living area.

Sitting on a beanbag was Leonardo scrolling through some app on his phone, his shell facing Mikey. On the ground beside Leo sat Donatello tinkering with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. again. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Hmm. Mikey shrugged and strode toward his immediate older brothers. "Good morning, dudes! It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

Leo glanced up from his phone and turned his head to smile at Mikey. "It sure is, hermano. Too bad we can't go outside to enjoy it."

Confused by Leo's lack of acknowledgment of the day's importance, Mikey went and sat in front of his brothers.

"Well yeah, but I mean... It's a beautiful day down here. In sewer sweet sewer. Don't you think?"

Mikey directed the question at Donnie, who merely shrugged and said in a flat tone, "Don't know how this place can be anymore beautiful today than any other day."

'What is with these guys?' Mikey thought to himself. A bit disappointed by his brothers' lack of enthusiasm, Mikey stood and headed toward the kitchen.

'Maybe it's too early for any celebrating. Neither of them like mornings.' Then it was if a lightbulb turned on above his head. 'Aha! Of course! They have a big surprise planned and don't want to spoil it. Oh, those guys...'

Mikey hummed a light tune as he entered the kitchen. There, he found Raphael pouring milk into his bowl of cereal. Seeing his youngest brother, Raph smiled wide. "Mornin', little man!"

"Raaaph. How many times do I have to tell you? I'm NOT a 'little man'! I'm grown up like you!" Mikey rolled his eyes and huffed, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at his oldest brother.

"Right, right, sorry. Ya hungry, big guy?"

Mikey grinned and nodded. "You bet! What do we have?"

Raph looked at his brother in confusion. "Uh... Same stuff we always do. Cereal, toast, leftover pizza. Whatever you want."

Posture deflating, Mikey uttered an "Oh," and rifled through the fridge for the pizza box from the night before.

Heating up two slices of supreme pizza in the microwave, Mikey poured himself a glass of milk and took his 'breakfast of champions' (Leo's name for it) toward his room. Noticing Mikey's dejected behavior, Raph followed him.

"Somethin' wrong, bro?"

Mikey shook his head and opened his bedroom door. "Just still tired, I guess. Kind of a slow morning."

Nodding at his brother's words, Raph gave him a small smile. "I think we're all a bit tired. Take it easy for a bit."

Mikey didn't respond and shut the door behind him. Rather than sit and possibly drop grease on his bed, Mikey opted to sit in his egg-shaped floating chair. He sat his glass of milk down on his desk and started eating his pizza.

"What the heck is going on today? Does no one respect the joy of a birthday anymore? No happy morning greetings with confetti, no pre-made breakfast...no pops. Where is he?"

Setting his empty plate on the desk, Mikey sipped his milk and used his left foot to push on the floor. His chair lightly swung as he mulled over his family's behavior that morning.

After some time had passed, Mikey was woken out of his light doze by a knock on his door. Rubbing his eyes, Mikey called out, "It's always open!"

Splinter entered the room, ears twitching as he beheld his youngest and smallest child alone in his room. That alone was not concerning. What bothered Splinter was that Mikey seemed to have been asleep instead of painting or drawing or writing something. Keeping one hand behind his back, the older rat shut the door and walked toward his son.

"May I ask why you are alone in here and not with your family out there?"

Shrugging, Mikey kept his toes on the floor to maintain a steady swing of his chair. His right leg was bent underneath his left, hands resting on it. "Not much going on out there, dad. Seemed more fun to do my own thing than be around those party poopers."

Frowning at his son's words, Splinter sat on the edge of the bed and held out a brightly-colored box. "Well, I hope this can lift your spirits, Orange. It's not much, but I hope you like it."

Eyes widening at the expertly-wrapped gift, Mikey took the box from Splinter's hands. It wasn't overly big, nor was it small. Mikey smiled and tore off the orange wrapping paper, removing the lid covering the box.

Inside was a small book. Mikey gently lifted the brown leather tome, noting the professional binding. In gold lettering were the Japanese characters for Hamato on the spine. Turning the book over, Mikey found that there was no description for any story. Looking up, he saw Splinter smiling at him.

"It is a journal. Tradition in my family is to pass one down to your son to write of his life and adventures. Seeing as I have four sons, I had to decide which of you to give it to." Splinter reached out and flipped the book over to the front cover, pointing to an engraving on the bottom right corner.

"I knew a long time ago that it would be given to you once you had reached the right age. Of all my sons, you are the most creative and open-minded. I had your name engraved with April's help a few years ago. I hope you may find some use for it."

Mikey didn't know what to say at first. So he sniffed and threw his arms around Splinter in a tight hug. "Thanks, dad! This is the best birthday present I've ever gotten!"

Splinter chuckled and patted Mikey's shell. "I am glad you think so, my son."

Pulling out of the hug, Splinter stood and headed toward the door. "Feel free to join us whenever you wish. Though I am sure you would rather use this time to use your present."

Mikey grinned and nodded, grabbing a pen from his desk drawer. "You bet, pops. I'll be out there for dinner and topside shenanigans."

Smiling softly, Splinter left the room and shut the door behind him.

Hours of writing/doodling later, Mikey shut his journal and got out of his chair. Stretching his stiff limbs, Mikey checked his phone and was shocked to see that he had indeed missed lunch and nearly dinner.

"Oopsie! Guess I should finally make an appearance." The young turtle, mood drastically improved, exited his room and headed to the kitchen.

"Hiya guys! Wassup?" Mikey's entrance was met with wide eyes.

"Mikey! Where have you been? Haven't seen you all day!" Leo pulled out a seat at the table beside him. "I was bored without you."

Grinning, Mikey sat beside Leo and piled the pasta onto his plate. Other than Mikey himself, Leo was the best cook when he needed to be.

"Sorry. Got distracted. Excited to head topside, though!"

"Oh... Yeah, about that. No one is going up top tonight."

Groans and protests were the responses to Raph's statement. The leader merely crossed his arms and shook his head. "According to the news, a large storm is coming in. We're not going out there. End of story."

Sighing in defeat, Mikey rested his chin on his fist. He twirled noodles around the tines of his fork. 'Well this sucks,' he thought.

Standing up and grinning, Leo addressed the room. "Fear not, brethren! I have a fantabulous plan!"

Donnie rolled his eyes. "This oughta be good."

Ignoring his twin, Leo went on. "We can have a skateboarding competition! Winner decides on dessert and movie."

Mikey's eyes lit up at the idea. If he won, he could demand cake and an awesome movie. Then they would have to celebrate his birthday and reveal whatever surprise they've been hiding.

"I'm in!"

The four turtle brothers later stood at the top of their indoor skate ramp, skateboards in hand. "Alright, bro-hames. Rules are simple. Do a trick. Stick the landing. Winner will be decided by majority votes." Leo looked at his brothers for understanding. After an affirmative nod or thumbs up from each, Leo designated himself as first up.

The turtle in blue skated down the ramp and flew up the other side, completing a flip before skating down to the bottom. He finished with a twirl and bowed with one foot on the board. The other three clapped at the performance before moving on. Leo stood beside the ramp, watching as Donnie did a similar trick, but instead landed on his hands rather than his feet. Impressive.

"Why don't you go next, Mikey?" Ralph suggested.

Mikey grinned. "Don't mind if I do." With a determined look on his face, Mikey kicked off the edge of the ramp. 'Gotta win. Gotta win. Gotta win.' This chant overtook Mikey's thoughts as he picked up speed. When he made it up the other side of the ramp, he was too distracted to realize his placement and instead of doing any kind of trick, he plummeted toward the bottom of the ramp.

CRASH!

"MIKEY!!" Three turtles surrounded their fallen brother. "Mikey, you ok?" Donnie immediately assessed his younger brother for injuries. When he saw the unnatural angle of Mikey's left ankle, he cringed.

"Ooh, that looks bad. I gotta get you checked out then bandaged."

Shaking and silent, Mikey held his leg. No words came to him. Nothing except, "Ruined! It's ruined!"

Raph lifted Mikey delicately. "Don't say that, bro. Don'll fix your foot good as new." With that, the brothers headed to the genius' lab.

Mikey refused to speak after that. He didn't make a sound the entire time Don poked and prodded his obviously broken ankle. Even after being treated with utmost care and gentleness, Mikey remained mute.

"You're all fixed, Mikey. Can't you say anything? Not even 'ow'?" Leo tried his best to coax any words out of the youngest, but failed. Sighing, he patted Mikey's head. "Some birthday, huh?"

Mikey looked at his brother in shock. "Y-You remembered?" Taken aback by his brother's voice, Leo blinked several times before responding.

"Of course I remembered! That's why I came up with the skateboarding competition. I know how much you were looking forward to being topside today. Sorry my plan sucked."

"No! No no, your plan was great! I just... I thought you guys all... forgot. Or were just messing with me to surprise me later."

Leo swallowed and sat beside Mikey. "I'm sorry, Mikey. I didn't forget, but the others might have... They haven't talked about it at all."

Heaving a sigh, Mikey looked at his bandaged foot. This birthday sucks. Seems like everything went wrong today. No special breakfast, no party, not even a cake!

"Hey, I just remembered. I have something for you. Be right back." With that, Leo got up and left the lab.

A few minutes later, Leo returned carrying a cake, followed by Raph and Donnie. Both had apologetic looks on their faces.

"I'm so sorry, Mikey. I wasn't thinking. I can't believe I forgot what today is." Raph looked devastated. He took pride in caring for his family. This whole situation hurt him.

Donnie looked just as upset. He sat next to Mikey and took his hand. "Bro... Why didn't you say anything? We could've had a party!" Then the genius in purple smacked his own forehead. "April's text makes more sense now! That's what she meant by 'when's the party '!"

The three older turtles gave Mikey pleading faces. "Can you forgive us, bro? We didn't mean to give you a terrible birthday." Leo held the cake out to Mikey, candles lit.

Glancing at each brother, seeing the love and regret in their eyes, Mikey slowly smiled. "Of course you're forgiven. I can't stay mad at you guys. Besides, you brought cake! How can I say no to that?"

Three huge smiles were given in response. "Alright then," Raph said. "Blow out your candles and make a wish, big guy."

Mikey blew out the candles. "I have everything I need already. My family. My friends. Personal butlers who will cater to my every whim to make up for my sucky birthday and broken ankle." At this, his smile turned into a smirk.

"Isn't that right?"

Raph decided to answer for the group. "Sure, bro. Just until your foot heals."

Nodding, Mikey opened his arms. "You may hug me now."

His brothers chuckled and hugged him tight. They'd never forget important days like this again.

[foodtheywrote]

food+drink from AYESHA AT LAST by Uzma Jalaluddin

(these are all Kindle highlights. please let me know in the comments if you have other mentions of food and/ or drink in this book.)

This book also had a number of food-making sequences but those are dense (one more reason to read it!)

1. ...took a bite of the clammy scrambled eggs Farzana had prepared for breakfast.

2. Farzana neatly flipped another paratha flatbread onto her son’s plate, though he had not asked for more.

3. Humming to herself, she placed a small pot on the stove, adding water, milk, cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, and tea leaves for chai.

4. I sneak them rice and dal sometimes.

5. ...Maple donuts and Tim Hortons hot chocolate.

6. Which meant takeout pizza and...

7. Their community also boasted the best kebabs, chicken tikka, dosa, sushi, pho, and roti in the city...

8. ...stirring a fragrant curry and sprinkling minced coriander on top...

9. Are we going for bubble tea this weekend?

10.  When he was younger, he would make desserts and simple pasta dishes for Zareena.

11. The pakoras were delicious...

12. She accepted the tea...

13. ...wiping down counters and frying samosas in the kitchen...

14. “I’ll get chai all over my new shalwar.”

15. ...a bowl of spicy Indian chaat mix, and a plate overflowing with samosas.

16.  I made the cookies...

17. ...cook at least three different types of rice, twelve or more meat dishes, and at least as many vegetable curries.

18. ...you just had tea...

19.  I wish to purchase an apple fritter...

20.  “Two steeped teas double-double, and one apple fritter please.”

21. She placed two overcooked paratha flatbreads on his plate...

22. ...silently mopped up his spicy tomato and egg curry with the second paratha and washed it all down with the watery chai...

23....eaten the kheer I made.

24. It was probably the extra-large helping of chicken curry...

25. His biryani burps kept him staring at the ceiling for hours.

26. He removed some sourdough bread from the fridge and beat three eggs...

27. ...fried the French toast, spreading each slice with a peanut butter and Nutella mixture.

28....a large mug of chai.

29. ...slid over his ears like caramel.

30. Nani already fried the samosas...

31. ...Saleha offered tea. Nilofer requested sparkling water—“Perrier, if you have it.”

32. ...tray laden with water, tea, and cookies.

33. She ordered a lychee mango drink and waited.

34. ...makes a yummy pad Thai.

35. Your saag paneer and kofta kebab have become the stuff of Christmas party legend.

36. Your forgiveness for a kofta?

37. ...filled with rice and peas, kofta meatball curry, and a packet of homemade crispy papad lentil chips.

38. My sister always loved my pasta.

39. ...too busy to learn how to fry frozen samosas.

40. The first time I cooked an egg...

41. Ayesha could still taste the basmati rice on her lips...

42. ...compliment her on the chai she brings for you.

43. She balanced a tray of tea and snacks... 

44. My son loves pasta.

45. ...help me make some more chai for Farzana Aunty.

46. Can I pour you some more tea?

47. ...give him a lesson on how to make your delicious parathas.

48. ...Nani got out some canned mango pulp, and they all sat to eat at the kitchen table. She told them she hadn’t known how to cook when she was first married. “We ate a lot of eggs,” she said.

49. ...a plate of samosas in front of him.

50. Best butter chicken in the city.

51. ...revealing teeth stained red with betel nut.

52. ...offered her a plate of sizzling chicken tikka.

53. ...but he kept his gaze on the lamb biryani.

54.  ...taking a bite of spinach pakora.

55. He took a bite of the biryani—it was quite good, though heavy on the ghee. “Butter chicken is popular...

56. ...who was sipping a cup of tea.

57. ...ladled out a generous serving of rice, chicken, and naan.

58.  Khalid swallowed the rice, which was too salty, and took a bite of chicken...

59. ...looked at the stale bagel she had packed that morning. In her rush to be on time for school, she hadn’t even prepared it with cream cheese or peanut butter.

60. “Rob made pad Thai,” Clara said, wheedling. “He bought halal chicken...

61. Maybe there would be time between the faux-wine and pad Thai to apologize.

62. ...Khalid said sugar dates are a superfood. I’m gonna put them in your morning smoothie...

63. ...offered her the noodles first, before serving himself.

64. Rob took a big swallow of cola.

65. ...two iced slushies and a box of Twinkies. “Blue watermelon or red raspberry?”

66. ..boxes of sweets were being passed around.

67. Ayesha’s mother sat down beside her, nibbling on a chum chum.. 

68. She silently filled a glass with water and handed it to Ayesha.

69. Nana sipped his chai, his face unconcerned.

70. ...I brought chickpea salad.

71. ...offered her water or tea.

72. Farzana returned with a small cup of tea, and Nani noted the absence of the usual cookies or snacks.  

73. She took a sip of the tea—it was weak and lukewarm.

74. The uncles expect tea.

75. ...plates with biryani, butter chicken, and aloo gobi.

76. Would you like tea?

77. How about coffee?

78. ...putting another greasy, overcooked aloo paratha...

79. ...held out a granola bar to Khalid.

80. I want butter chicken, vegetable tawa, palak paneer, veal korma, and meat biryani. ... We’ll have Amritsar fish pakoras and channa chaat for appetizers.

81. ...I want mango kulfi and ras malai.

82. ...lecture on the right brand of paneer.

83. Would madam like some chai?

84. Would sahib like chicken tikka instead?

85. Hafsa was sitting in the food court of the mall, a container of fries in front of her...

86. Tarek suggested they grab coffee...

87. ...after they’d ordered their drinks and donuts.

88. The group broke for coffee and cookies...

89. Amir filled a Styrofoam cup with strong coffee, grabbed a jelly cookie...

90. What if I bring you some kofta and paratha...

91. She was surrounded by half-empty cups of tea...

92. ...in the food court eating chili-cheese fries.

93. ...a small carton of 2% milk, almond Daim cake, and vegetarian meatballs. Khalid’s stomach felt queasy, and he settled for a cup of coffee, black with three sugars.

94. She took another sip of chai...

95. ...an overcooked egg that had somehow cooled to freezing, paired with dry toast.

96. His chicken karahi is amazing...

97. “He made me donuts,” she said simply. “All the things I was craving: poutine, pizza, spaghetti, cheeseburgers.”

98. Khalid was sipping his double-double when Amir and Idris slouched into the Tim Hortons.

99. ...finished their coffee and donuts.

100. Hafsa was waiting for Ayesha with chicken wings, two pizzas...

101. Make me a tea too...

102. Not even a cookie?

103. They split a frozen pizza and bagged salad...

104. ...walked past with a tray of mango lassi.

105. ...steel dome–covered dishes of mutton biryani, haleem, and Mughlai chicken.

106. He handed a cup of tea to Nana.

107. ...taking a swig from his Budweiser. Khalid took a sip of his club soda.

[hellofashionist]

Tasty Food Recipes That You Can Cook Within Ten Mins

you recognize the information: preparing meals at home is ideal for your health and your wallet. But permit’s face it — you have other priorities taking up space for your time table and minimal unfastened time, so spending hours or maybe minutes within the kitchen isn’t always on the top of your to-do list. So many matters can crowd out meal prep (think: lengthy hours at work, vast others, preserving in touch with circle of relatives, perhaps even a exercising here and there).

24 healthful and portable mason jar food

but before giving in to endless seamless clicking, turning into a ordinary at the chinese language place near the office, or residing off frozen meals, recognize that in the time it takes to look at your favored cat videos on youtube, you could make a nutritious home-cooked meal. Most of these recipes are smooth and healthful — and equipped in 10 minutes, tops. For each meal of the day, along with make-and-take breakfasts and lunches, that is fast food that fitness experts could approve of. Reader survey please take a brief 1-minute survey your answers will assist us enhance our enjoy. You're the satisfactory! Breakfast

1. Peach cobbler oatmeal picture: spoonful of taste neglect flavored oatmeal packets and move au naturel with this oatmeal that’s reminiscent of a cobbler. With sparkling peaches, chopped pecans or your nut of desire, and cinnamon, it's going to fulfill your sweet enamel so nicely that you could find yourself making it for dessert. 2. Easy poached egg and avocado toast

avocado toast is all of the rage, however adding a poached egg takes it to a new level and completes the trifecta of nutrients: protein, fats, and carbs. Parmesan cheese and sparkling herbs sprinkled on pinnacle make it appearance and taste fancy. 3. Oatmeal blueberry yogurt pancakes image: formidable kitchen a stack of selfmade flapjacks doesn’t take that lengthy to make. These are high-protein and free of gluten, however they still flavor incredible and fluffy, way to bananas, oats, vanilla, and of course blueberries. Four. Cheddar-garlic grits with fried eggs

a southern classic, tacky grits don’t need to be a complete fat and calorie bomb. Cook dinner them in water rather than milk and leave out the butter. However keep the cheddar: the 2 tablespoons in keeping with serving here maintains the dish gooey and rich and affords almost 10 percent of your day by day calcium. Then upload eggs for staying electricity, chopped chives for their slightly oniony flavor, and garlic, which makes the whole lot flavor higher. 5. Hot quinoa cereal picture: marin mama chefs terrifi as it's miles, quinoa takes some time to prepare dinner. Even as a few humans have stated it can be nuked, that takes extra than 10 mins in most microwaves. But quinoa flakes, which can be similar to oats however are a complete protein, can be equipped in a flash. Cook them in your selected milk with dried berries, after which top away with nuts, nut butter, seeds, and fresh fruit.

6. Scrambled tofu whilst properly prepared, tofu is something however blah — and this model gives as a great deal protein as a scrambled egg. Toss the vegan staple with tacky nutritional yeast, turmeric, cumin, and paprika (buy smoked for even greater taste). Even egg enthusiasts will enjoy it. 7. Pumpkin pie oatmeal photograph: two healthful kitchens this healthful, autumn-stimulated oatmeal gets its pie-like taste from pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, and vanilla. A sprinkling of dried cranberries provides natural sweetness. Eight. Open-confronted sandwiches with ricotta, arugula, and fried egg photo: john autry

a breakfast sandwich may be a lot more than a smashed viscount st. Albans, egg, and cheese eaten in the back of the wheel. Yes, this one requires a fork and knife, however it’s really worth it. Toasted bread is topped with spicy arugula, an excellent source of vitamin ok, which allows your blood clot. Then add an egg, salty ricotta — it has greater protein than cottage cheese — parmesan, and thyme. It’s a sandwich like no different. Nine. Omelet in a mug photograph: scattered mind of a cunning mother toss your favored breakfast meat (or pass it if you’re vegetarian), salsa, eggs, and cheese in a mug and zap it for 1 minute. Stir, and then prepare dinner for some other 30 to forty five seconds. Season to flavor and pinnacle with greater cheese. Breakfast has by no means been less complicated to make — or to clean up. Lunch

10. Butternut squash ramen bowl with rice noodles, tofu, and clean pea shoots photograph: in pursuit of more a scrumptious dinner for one, this noodle bowl has all the flavors of your fave brief-prepare dinner noodle cups however none of the icky components. Rice noodles offer the majority of this vegetarian-pleasant bowl, which makes use of boxed butternut squash soup as a base for instant cooking. Pea shoots taste like, properly, peas, and are rich in vitamins a and c and folic acid. If you can’t find them, you could use spinach. Eleven. Mediterranean panzanella photograph: the noshery

rather than top a salad with bagged croutons, whip up this tuscan version with toasted pita bread. There’s the usual right-alone-however-higher-together suspects predicted in something called “mediterranean”: tomatoes, cucumbers, feta, and olives. The olives are key since the fat in them assist your body absorb the vitamins inside the greens.

12. Crunchy asian ramen noodle salad picture: gimme some oven this colorful, crunchy salad is simply what the health practitioner ordered when leafy-veggies-based sorts are dull you. Crunchy coleslaw blend and dried ramen noodles (swap in crunchy rice noodles for a less-processed option) are tossed with avocado for wholesome fat, edamame for protein, and mango for imaginative and prescient-protecting beta-carotene. Thirteen. Brief and clean hen burrito

leftover hen finds a new domestic in this short burrito. Blend it with avocado and cheese earlier than wrapping it up in a tortilla and cooking it. We’d take it one step in addition and upload a few peppers, onions, and perhaps a few vegetables to the filling. Bonus: make some immediately and freeze the extras for a fair quicker lunch subsequent time.

14. Salmon and herbed bean salad photo: grocery store healthful uninterested in tuna salad? Strive canned salmon combined with creamy cannellini beans, greens, and sparkling herbs for a remarkable smooth meal that’s as scrumptious on its personal as it's far in a pita or with whole-grain crackers

15. Creamy buffalo fowl and black bean quesadillas if you usually reach for the wings on sport day, this is the lunch quesadilla for you. It’s spicy, creamy, and loaded with flavor. Black beans bump up the fiber and protein, and inexperienced onions upload a touch more zing. Experience loose to cut back on the bitter cream or use greek yogurt instead. 16. Tomato salad–crammed avocados image: taste of home

not only desirable for guacamole, moist desserts, and rich smoothies, avocados are designed to be filled! Dispose of the pit and fill the center with a mixture of tomato, feta, onion, and herbs for a filling meal that’s quite sufficient to serve at a brunch. After all, not every breakfast-meets-lunch recipe must take hours to put together.

17. Caprese quesadilla italian and mexican favorites crew up for a mashup that’s better than something blended with the aid of a dj. The how-to is quite apparent: fill a tortilla with tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil; cook until the cheese is melted; and drizzle with balsamic glaze for a taste-packed final touch. 18. Herb and onion frittata at the same time as this recipe uses liquid eggs, you can alternative  complete eggs for the reason that ldl cholesterol and fats inside the real factor are not anything to worry approximately. Upload anything herbs — clean or dried — enchantment to you, due to the fact all of them have distinct flavors and fitness blessings. Like pizza and mashed potatoes, frittata tastes simply as properly bloodless as it does warm, so cross in advance and double the recipe and devour the alternative half of for breakfast tomorrow.

19. Turkey-provolone wrap with avocado mayo this isn’t just every other turkey sandwich. Smear mayo and coronary heart-wholesome avocado on a tortilla and roll it up with lettuce, provolone, and tomato. This recipe is gentle, creamy, and crunchy, but view it as a starting vicinity and play with other fillings. Dinner

20. Zucchini pasta with vegan cashew-basil pesto photograph: the fitchen the addition of cashews — a good source of bone-building phosphorus, strength-generating magnesium, and other minerals — makes pesto distinctly creamy. Make the sauce in a meals processor, spiralize zucchini (or use a vegetable peeler), and integrate the two. Then dig in! 21. Veggie fried rice image: pinch of yum fried rice is a dream for chefs pressed for time, and this model is not any exception. Leftover brown rice works high-quality for this, however in case you’re in a pinch, microwaveable rice stands in nicely. Peas, eggs, and corn get tossed with salty soy sauce and rice vinegar. Mix in any of your different preferred greens, too. You surely can’t cross wrong.

22. Highly spiced cilantro shrimp with honey-lime dipping sauce image: love grows wild because it chefs so quick, shrimp is the right protein for busy evenings. Season it with paprika, cumin, cayenne, and cinnamon (yes, cinnamon — it provides warmth) for max flavor, and sauté it in butter for just minutes. Toss with sparkling lime juice and a selfmade honey-lime dipping sauce that tempers the heat of the shrimp.

23. Oven-baked tostadas image: yellow bliss avenue crunchy oven-baked corn tortillas famous person in this meal. After they’re golden and crispy, pinnacle them with refried beans or any simple beans, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, cheese, and avocado. That is one recipe to have fun with and spot what mixtures you can create. 24. Broccoli and parmesan soup

with five ingredients and 10 minutes, dinner is prepared. Cooking the broccoli with a parmesan rind infuses cheesy flavor into every spoonful, and a hint of soy adds umami — that savory taste that you may’t pretty describe but taste pointers of (in a terrific manner). This pureed soup packs nutrients a, b-6, and c, plus phytochemicals that can fend off cancer. 25. Pan-roasted salmon with arugula and avocado salad

picture: serious eats a complete seafood dinner in 10 mins? Oh, sure. While the salmon sears on the stove, toss arugula with a lemon–olive oil french dressing, cubed avocado, and parmesan. Once the fish is achieved, plate it on pinnacle of the salad. Your coronary heart will thank you, for the reason that two servings of fatty fish weekly may additionally decrease the hazard of cardiovascular ailment. 26. Brief and smooth black beans and rice image: the perfect pantry

there’s a reason rice and beans is this kind of popular dish: it’s cheaper and clean. But it could additionally be uninteresting. Not so with this flavorful take. Conventional latin flavorings like sofrito, cumin, and chili powder are introduced to cooked rice. Toss in inexperienced chile peppers for heat and black beans for protein and you've a complete meal right away. 27. Low-carb chili picture: i breathe i’m hungry whilst you want chili and you need it now, pull this recipe out. Using your preferred keep-sold salsa speeds matters up, and there’s no longer even any dicing or slicing worried. Use ground lean red meat or turkey, and pinnacle together with your favorite fixings like sour cream, corn, avocado, or clean-squeezed lime juice.

28. Bbq chook pizza neglect frozen pizza or delivery: this pie is ready even faster! Use a whole-wheat pita because the crust, and pinnacle it with fish fry sauce, red onion, mozzarella, and precooked hen — leftover or rotisserie from the store works nicely. Microwave until the cheese is flawlessly melted, and then go beforehand — consume everything! 29. Lean and green tofu stir-fry photograph: consuming fowl food

stir-fries are ideal when you need a healthful meal speedy. Plus, they’re an smooth manner to % in greens. This recipe consists of onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, and a couple of cups of spinach in step with serving — that alone offers approximately a third of the daily advice of diet a, plus loads of vitamin k and some potassium, vitamins that are critical for the fitness of your eyes, bones, and coronary heart.