#either way im stick to those earlier songs

[jasontoddsreanimatedcorpse]

trying to assign a crawlers song to dick so i can write a fic for him and either im projecting or this man has too many issues bc bruh i cannot decide

[callemreine]

Brave face, talk so lightly(hide the truth)

'All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them.'

Au August

Day/Prompt: Day 26 - Soulmate

Ship: Prinxiety, brief logicality, creativitwins

Word count: 3k (I'm so sorry I got carried away)

Cw: swearing / brief murder mention / implied death / crying / nightmares(?) / anxiety mention / caps / claustrophobia(?)

A/N: the prompt is your dreams are your soulmate's memories. The title is from the song "Sick of losing soulmates" by dodie. I wrote the first 1/4 of this a few days ago and the rest in one sitting and I couldn't care less about proofreading it so Im so sorry if there are any mistakes ;-;

@tsshipmonth2020

I see a girl in the distance. She has her back turned. Long chocolate-colored hair tied in a low messy bun. My hand is reaching out to her. I feel this sudden longing to be held by this woman. Craving her caring and loving words. Telling me that everything is going to be alright.

Wait. Why is she getting farther away?

She looks back at me with a sad smile. Everything gets dark. I let my eyes stray from her to look around. When was I in a hospital corridor?

"I'm sorry, Pumpkin. You're gonna have to continue our adventure without me. But, fear not, Little one. I'll always be there by you. You just gotta learn to know where I am,"

She caresses my cheek, giving me the warmest smile I have ever received.

She's gone, suddenly. I touch my cheek, still feeling the ghost of her warm touch. Along with… something wet? Am- Am I crying?

"Roman!"

I don't move. I feel stuck. But, also free, somehow. Just unsure of what to do, I guess?

"Roman! Wake up. You idiot!

"Roman!

"Oh, thank all things unholy! I thought someone was in our room, trying to murder us! You were crying, and- and whispering stuff! And it's creeping me the fuck out! And I'm not easily creeped out, you know that" Remus exclaimed as he sat on Roman's chest, grabbing his twin’s shoulders.

"Man, you're soulmate must have some twisted memories," He continued, getting off of Roman and returning to his own bed across the room.

'Yeah. Twisted…' Roman thought.

~*~*~

"You okay there, Sweetie?" Roman heard from where his head was buried on the kitchen counter. "Yeah... Just thinking about my soulmate again," he admitted.

"Another bad dream?" His mom inquired as she sat next to Roman, patting his back. "It's not just that. It's about the move. Like, we're never really sure which of our memories they see, right? But, they've seen all my memories from this place. Like, they know where I've been my entire life…" he trailed off.

"I'm just not sure how they would feel seeing a whole new different place… They don't seem to be in a place to experience a big change right now. All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them. And, yeah, my dreams don't really change that much. But, I make an effort, y'know?" Roman looked up at his mom to seek at least some kind of reassurance.

"I understand what you mean, and I think that what you're doing is great. And I know that you're gonna be the bestest thing that's ever gonna happen to them. But, I'm really sorry. We don't really have any choice with this move. I know your soulmate is in a dark place right now, but you can't always do everything for them. You're also your own person," His mom hugged him.

Roman felt like he was hopeless in this situation. And, he was always hoping for the best. For his soulmate or otherwise. Maybe his mom was right about putting himself first sometimes.

~*~*~

Virgil was in his first period when someone he didn't expect to walk into his classroom… walks into his classroom… They were wearing an army green shirt, a denim jacket with neon green highlights and spikes at the bottom, ripped jeans, and platform boots with more spikes and vulgar words written on them. To say that this man was familiar was an understatement. He KNEW this man's entire life THROUGH his dreams.

Virgil felt like he was trespassing someone's life. Like, he wasn't supposed to know the man. And that, they shouldn't be in any way related. Especially to their sibling.

He wasn't really ecstatic about meeting his soulmate. IN SCHOOL NO LESS. It wasn't really an ideal 'meet-your-soulmate' place for someone like Virgil.

"Alright, students, I'm sure you've all noticed that we have a new student right here. Now, why don't you go and introduce yourself, Mister," their teacher said to the denim jacket guy.

"Umm. Sup? I'm Remus Duke Kingsley. Nice to meet you all. And, if you see a guy that looks like me but without the mustache and wears red all the time, he’s always loud, you can’t miss him. That's my twin brother, Roman. The boring one," Remus says, yawning by the end of his introduction.

'HOLY FUCK, TWINS?!' Virgil thought. Fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on which part of Virgil's brain you're asking), Remus already gave him a vague description of who to look out for.

~*~*~

Virgil continues his day and falls into his daily routine, which mostly includes attempting to avoid being perceived by anyone. It usually succeeds if you exclude his friend, Patton, from ‘anyone.’ He only hopes that his soulmate also sees Patton in their dreams cuz, to be honest, Patton is the ray of sunshine everyone needs. Yeah, he was also friends with Logan, but he’s more like a moon if you ask him.

Virgil goes into the cafeteria and sits at their usual table, his back facing the entire cafeteria. He takes out a paper bag from his bag and grabs the sandwich he bought earlier, not waiting for his friends.

A few moments pass before Logan and Patton reach his table. “Hey, kiddo! You alright?” Patton says as he sits down. Virgil just gives them a nod and continues to eat. “I heard this morning that there were new students,” Logan inquires before Patton interrupts “Oh yeah! They’re twins! I have first period with one of them. He’s really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!” Patton shouts and waves his arm toward a student that just entered the cafeteria. “Hope you guys don’t mind that I invited him over to sit with us,” He continues and flashes both Virgil and Logan a smile no one could say no to.

“Hey, Patton.” The guy says to Patton. “Hope you guys don’t mind me crashing your table. I’m Roman by the way,” Roman says to the other two. “Pleasure to meet you, Roman. I’m Logan. And, no, we wouldn’t mind at all,” Logan answered him back. Roman looked over to Virgil who just nodded and said his name. Roman then proceeded to sit next to Virgil but not paying him any mind.

And, though Virgil seemed to be calm about the situation, his mind is currently in flames having his anxiety and his gay panic fight over each other. Virgil is currently waiting for who would win, that's why he seems so calm on the outside. After finishing his sandwich, he was trying to think of something he could do to keep himself from leaving and be noticed. He looked over to Logan, attentively listening to Patton talking about the dog he saw this morning. Roman was silently eating his lunch, also listening to Patton, but looking around the cafeteria every once in a while.

It seems that Virgil’s anxiety won the fight because he decided that he doesn’t want to stick around with his friends and his apparent soulmate without doing anything. So, he stands up and excuses himself from the group. "Hey! Wait!" Roman calls after him. Virgil stops a few feet from the table to look back at Roman who was already jogging towards him.

"Virgil, right?" He assures.

Virgil nods. "Ok, there’s just something I wanna ask you. Are those two soulmates?" Roman throws his thumb back, pointing at the two left at the table. "Cuz, as much as how adorable they look together, I kinda don't want to be stuck as a third wheel," he continues.

"Oh. Yeah, those two are soulmates. Sometimes, I wonder if they ever do notice me every time I leave the table," Virgil elaborates, looking back at his friends with a slight smile.

"Umm. Class doesn't start for a few more minutes. I was wondering if I could join you for a while? Wherever you were going…" Roman trailed off, realizing he didn't know where the shorter male was headed.

"Uhh. Yeah, sure. I was just headed to the courtyard to pass the time,"

'Shit. Virgil, why are you doing this?! Why did you agree?! You have anxiety!' Virgil mentally scolded himself.

"Ok. Cool. I'll just go get my stuff," Roman flashed Virgil a smile before heading back to the table.

'Fuck. I am so screwed,' Virgil thought.

~*~*~

"So, what's the deal with those two? I mean, how did they deal with the soulmates thing?" Roman finally spoke a few moments after they found a bench to settle on. "Uhh, well. Logan is my childhood friend and the first day we started high school here, they both had a dream of roll call the other had that day, I guess? They both heard each other's name and boom. You got your glasses gays," Virgil discussed, reminiscing the events that happened that day.

Roman let out a chuckle at Virgil's last words, causing the other's heart to skip a beat. They remain silent for a while, watching the other students passing by.

"What about you?" Roman spoke up.

"What about me?" Virgil glances back.

"I mean, what about you? Have you met your soulmate? Do you know who they are? You just seem like an interesting individual to me, having to stick around knowing you're third-wheeling all the time yet valuing your time with them and your time with yourself all the same. Well, either that or I'm just embarrassed that I think you're uncomfortable with me here…" Roman rambled, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.

Virgil chuckled, "Nah. I just get anxious when meeting new people. Plus, I think you're a pretty nice guy." They smiled at each other, Virgil feeling his face heat up, and looks away immediately. "And, about the soulmate thing. I think I have a clue of who they might be, I just…" he trailed off.

"What's holding you back?" Roman muttered, lowering his head, attempting to catch the other's eye. "I… I just think that my memories aren't that… for them. They're just this amazing and joyful person… I just don't think they deserve to see my bland memories every night,"

The pair fell silent, Roman feeling sympathy for the other. Virgil felt Roman shift in his seat before speaking up, "I don't think anyone's memories are ever bland."

Virgil looks up at Roman who has a far-off look with a slight smile on his lips. "I think that our dreams are what shows us what we're missing in life. What our soulmate has that we need and what we have that they need. You know, what makes you both feel complete when you're with each other," Roman smiled.

Virgil pondered on the other's statement for a while. "Is that... Is that how you feel when you're with your soulmate?" He said, being careful with his words. Roman sighed but remained smiling, "I haven't met them yet. But, what you said earlier reminded me of them. I always think they're a little different. My moms said that dreams are supposed to show my soulmate's memories. But, no one is ever sure which ones we see. Well, my dreams always have one thing in common… There's darkness every time…" Roman trailed off, looking more sad as he continued.

"Sometimes, they walk out of their house and, suddenly, everything goes dark and I see pairs of eyes staring at me as I walk. Or sometimes, they lie in bed and, suddenly, it's dark again and I'm stuck inside a box too small for me. But, there’s always this one dream that always repeats itself. Though, I'm not sure my soulmate's gonna be comfortable with me sharing," Roman finally snaps out of his trance and looks up at Virgil, looking embarrassed.

At this point, Virgil is now entirely sure that the person in front of him is his soulmate. He feels tears cloud his eyes so he looks away to play off wiping them away before looking back at Roman with pity in his expression. This is exactly what Virgil was afraid of, having his soulmate also experience the darkness that clouds him every day he wakes up.

"Wow… They- I- I don't know what to say… What are you gonna do when you meet them?" Virgil glances at Roman, pity still in his eyes. Roman let out a sigh but smiled, "I'm gonna give them the biggest hug they've ever received and reassure them that I'm always gonna be with them and that they'll never have to feel alone all the time ever again." Roman looked at Virgil with a smile. But, before he could notice the tear that fell from the other's eye, a loud shrill of their school bell rang throughout the courtyard, signaling the start of their next class.

"Talk about first impressions," Roman said with a chuckle, standing up. "Well, see you around, Virgil. I got a few more 'Hi, I'm Roman' to do," he continued, leaving Virgil on the bench.

~*~*~

I hear my converse squeak as I walk through the hallway. There are people around me, but they're all just silhouettes of the same familiar darkness. I'm walking to what seems to be the cafeteria. I sit down and grab my lunch from my bag. A few minutes pass, two figures sit in front of me. There's something familiar about them despite being two black silhouettes.

"Hey, kiddo! You alright?"

Patton?

"I heard there were new students," Logan?

Wait. Am I…

"Oh yeah! They're twins!"

Oh.

"I have first period with one of them. He's really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!"

Before I could look over to… me…

Darkness. Again.

I hear muffled voices. Too muffled to be recognized.

I stay in darkness for what felt like hours before I get surrounded by light.

Too bright.

There's a silhouette in front of me. It doesn't have any facial features but I can feel it stare at me. Slowly, the light around me doesn't feel too bright anymore. It feels… warm and comforting. Similar to the feeling I have in my chest, along with a squeezing feeling. I feel tears cloud my eyes, but I feel happy, somehow?

I feel someone embrace me. I look up to see the silhouette. Its arms around me, like it's protecting me. I feel secure. I feel loved.

I hug back, breaking down in its arms.

"You don't have to be alone anymore"

I hear my own voice. I break down sobbing, seeking more of the silhouette's warmth.

I stopped sobbing after a while but remained in the silhouette's arms for what felt like hours.

"You gotta wake him up!" I heard a distant voice say in a hushed tone.

"No, he hasn't slept like this since who knows when… Something must've happened yesterday..."

I feel myself slowly drifting from where I was standing.

"We can just tell the school he's sick"

"On the second day?"

I feel someone caress my cheek.

"You can stay too if you want"

"Hey, sweetie," Roman opens his eyes to his mom in front of him.

"What's going on? Why are you all in our room?" Roman asks as he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He eyes Remus standing in front of their mama. Their mom is sitting on the edge of Roman's bed, facing him.

"Well, sweetie. You see, you just had a full night's sleep," their mom explained.

"You looked so peaceful too," their mama added with a smile. Roman stopped to let the events of his dream last night come back to him.

"Roman, is everything ok?" Their mama walked over to him, tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ear. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay!" He flashed a smile to his moms, meaning what he said.

~*~*~

Roman hadn't been able to sit still ever since he got to school. 'Late', he should add. Apparently, he overslept while Remus and their moms decide whether to wake him up or not.

When they got to school in the middle of first period, they were excused because their moms were there to explain. With a slightly bent truth, of course.

Roman had to wait three(and a half) classes to talk to Virgil. They didn't have any classes together, to which Roman was bummed to find out. When the bell rang, signaling their lunch break, Roman hurriedly headed to the cafeteria. When he got there, he spotted Virgil just about to sit down at their usual table.

"Uhh. Virgil? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Roman felt awkward, to say the least.

"Uhm. Sure," Virgil replied, standing up. Roman led them under a tree in the courtyard, away from other students. They stayed silent for a while before Virgil spoke up, "So… what'd you wanted to talk about?"

Roman just stared at Virgil for a few moments, examining him, before enveloping him in a tight hug. Virgil stood frozen for a while, surprised at the gesture. He slowly placed his hands on Roman's back, still confused at the sudden affection.

"You're not alone anymore, Pumpkin," Roman said in a gentle voice, cradling the other's head. Virgil froze when he heard the nickname. His expression then softens and hugs Roman tighter, burying his face on the taller male’s shoulder.

"How did you find out?" Roman heard, slightly muffled by his jacket. "Had a dream about yesterday," Roman simply stated, not elaborating more. "What about you? You said you had a clue. Oh! That rhymed,"

They both laughed.

"I have first period with Remus and I recognized him right away," Virgil replied, his face still buried on Roman's shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with him," Roman chuckled.

"No, I'm sorry you had to deal with him your entire life,"

"Well, we're not alone anymore now, are we? Roman asked with a serious tone. Virgil parted a few inches from Roman, still holding on to him. He smiled as he looked up at Roman, "No, we're not."

This might be the last one I'll do for AU august but I'm also deciding if I should go back to the prompts I missed when I was sick hmm

I wish I included Remus more in this but it was already 3k words and thats the longest I've ever written so maybe its for the best XD

[m4ycrowave]

OKAY THAT'S IT

listen fellas I am fed up with this it's time for a quick rant

WHY'D YALL DO THIS TO MY BOY TOMMY

(Before I begin I'd like to clarify that this is talking about the characters btw, not the real people, I love them all to bits! But this is abt their characters in the SMP)

Listen, this might seem like I am about to shit on Tubbo and the rest of the smp BUT IM NOT SO HEAR ME OUT

Do I think tubbo was right to exile tommy?

Yes, but also no. Let me explain.

So I think we can all agree that tommy burning down george's house was stupid of him, yeah? Yeah.

(Although, the fact that the house could be rebuilt that WAS NOT worthy of an exile. But okay, whatever, it happened anyway)

Tommy acted selfishly by burning down George's house, Tommy DID deserve greater consequences cuz Tommy IS the vice president, Dream is not. Which is why Tommy's actions have greater concequenses than the green bastard's, and by logic almost everyone else's.

The discs are just discs. Like, literally they are.

But to Tommy they're not. We all know that Tommy's discs mean a lot to him emotionally and we've established that the reason dream wants them is to have power over Tommy. To Tubbo, I believe they're not just discs, either. He just doesn't have as much emotional attachment to the discs like Tommy does.

Tommy thinks emotionally, he's impulsive. Which is why he did what he did.

Tubbo thinks logically, and to him, the most logical thing to do was exile tommy. To him, the discs were too insignificant to decide the fate of an entire nation.

Tommy acted selfishly, however, he is NOT selfish. He does care about L'manburg(berg? Jfc idk) and THE ONE TIME he decides to go "okay, enough nation for a day, it's me time!" HE GETS FUFJFKIN EXILED.

Like he's said, he's put the discs to the side EVERY SINGLE TIME, it's just that his way of getting them back was incredibly stupid.

I might be getting confusing, but basically,

I agree that Tommy had the right to get the discs back for himself, I just believe he should've gone about it differently. and while the exile seems like to severe of a punishment, Tommy is the vice president, and he did fucking put the nation at risk Because of his selfish actions, so people have the right to be mad at him.

Now, that must mean that I DO agree with tubbo exiling him!

And you'd be right! Exiling tommy was the best thing Tubbo could've done for the nation, BUT, the way I'm which he did it was HORRIBLE.

Tubbo didn't want to exile tommy but he did it for the nation, and I can respect that!

WHAT I DO NOT RESPECT, HOWEVER, is the fact that Tubbo did it in such a way that he really DID BETRAY TOMMY

again, hear me out, Tubbo exiling Tommy was for the best, I agree! But he could've just done that from the start instead of cowering out of the god damn plan at the last second by going "WAR!" "n..nevermind..EXILE!"

He should've VOICED to the others that he WAS NOT on board with this plan instead of doing it in the moment, because those kinds of decisiones CAN'T BE MADE IN THE MOMENT!

I Don't CARE if he says he didn't know he was going to do that, you agreed to a plan to take down dream, YOU SHOULD'VE STUCK WITH IT!

Those kinds of decisions CANNOT. BE. MADE. IN. THE. MOMENT.

So okay, Tubbo exiled tommy in exchange of peace, that's great! Isn't it?

No.

Because afterwards he literally WENT ON WITH THE PLAN TOMMY HAD SUGGESTED FROM THE START.

Are you KIDDING ME?

you exile your best friend for peace and then proceed to do the one thing you ended up exiling him for. What the hell?

Literally nobody seemed to be concerned to have exiled Tommy and left him alone. The only one who actually seemed to care if just a BIT was QUACKITY AND RANBOO.

"do you think tommy's okay?"

"Tommy..he's not here anymore."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?"

"I can't be there with you right now, but know that if you ever need anything, I'll be here."

LIKE

WH

Listen to be, they are just kids, I understand. I am upset with tubbo, but not because of the decision he made! Just how he went about it, but I still want what's best for him.

Now, more about Tommy and why I made this post in the first place,

Everyone, or at least from what I'm seeing, keeps shitting on Tommy for being hurt, UH, WHAT???

I've seen so many posts of people complaining about how "Everyone else is in the right and Tommy is just being a big baby" LIKE-

I don't like to say "they're all right" because they're not. So I like to phrase it as, "they're all wrong, in their own ways." Because they all did something wrong, wether we want to believe it or not.

What Tommy is NOT doing wrong, however, is feeling HURT and BETRAYED.

Like I've explained earlier, we all know the discs mean something more to Tommy than just "oh lmao this is a kick-ass song", I don't think they mean /power/ to him, because while Tommy does like power, he seems to value something more,

Friendship.

Whoops we're going into mlp territory-

Okay, but really, he seems to value his friends more than almost anything else,

He'd rather stick by his friends and die, than have power. Which is why I truly believe that he wouldn't have exiled Tubbo if the nation depended on it.

He cares about L'manburg, however, he cares more about his friends.

Now, who's Tommy's best and closest friend?

Tubbo.

The discs, I believe, are a symbol of friendship between him and Tubbo, which I think is the reason he values them so much.

Tubbo saying the discs don't matter to Tommy was basically screaming at him that their friendship doesn't matter to him.

Tommy cares about friendship more than L'manburg, which is why he can't seem to understand why Tubbo cares more about L'manburg than their friendship.

Throughout the wars, Tubbo has been the one and ONLY person to stick by him, not even Wilbur did that (ghostbur did but that's another post for another day)

So it's understandable why tommy would feel HURT over Tubbo exiling him.

Because by Tubbo exiling him, he's made it clear that he doesn't care about him or their friendship, at least to Tommy.

And I'm not even mentioning the fact that Quackity and Fundy were so damn quick to blame him and put everything on /HIM/ when everything wasn't going according to plan

Or how his whole family basically betrayed and then left him.

So,

No, Tommy being hurt isn't him being a big crybaby, he has a REASON, many reasons to be.

Let's stop calling them crybabies and horrible people and just accept the fact that they all did something wrong

#poor tommy he does not deserve this.

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

A) hi how ya doing? B) I miss you C) can you analyze anything of Aragon? Thank you :)

Hey anon! I’m doing good ❤️❤️❤️ thanks so much for asking! I hope you’re doing well too!

Aragon is really interesting to me, because her song is kind of like the bohemian rhapsody of six. Very few people will say that it’s their favourite, but everyone will instantly sing along because it’s so catchy! Plus, it’s a great song to follow ex-wives with. It keeps the energy up and introduces the audience to the plot of the show.

I will say this until the day I die: while I would love if more songs were as scathing as say AYWD...you could never start with those songs. It’s too much too quickly. You need the more catchy, light-hearted songs of Ex-Wives, No Way and DLUH to start with because it helps get the audience invested in the show and the plot as a whole. Six, first and foremost, will always need to work dramatically. That’s why the old, more openly bitter No Way was changed to something a little more light-hearted.

The first thing that always comes to mind when I think of Aragon is regal. She’s the queen who was married to Henry for 24 years and was a Spanish princess as well. She’s the refined, confident queen who knows her own worth and honestly? I get the vibe she just wants a little bit of respect from the other queens. While some people characterise Aragon as rather cold, I honestly don’t get that? The show portrays Aragon as a very loyal person despite all that Henry put her through, and she clearly cares for Mary and also, to a lesser extent, Parr as her god daughter (remember she calls Howard “the least relevant Katherine”...meaning she does see Parr as relevant.) and she often refers to other queens as “babe” even though she was just arguing with them five seconds earlier (harking on the idea of forgiveness, something I think Aragon is very good at in the show!). Plus, while there’s only one line referring to Mary, Aragon is always so protective of her and warm to her. In the album, Renee’s “aw, hi baby!” is the most adorable and heartwarming part of the song and it’s clear she adores her daughter, while the “oh, you don’t remember?” in the live versions is so protective of her baby. It’s honestly something we don’t discuss enough. Moreover, Aragon’s song is one of the most energetic, but she has her earnest moment of pleading as well, along with her undisputable strength of refusing to back down and accept Henry’s lies. She is also incredibly passionate when talking about something she loves or defending herself when she has to (which make sense! This was the woman who rode with an army wearing armour while pregnant. Aragon was not to be messed with!).

I personally disagree with people who try and claim that Toby and Lucy wrote Aragon as the “angry” queen because she never truly gets to the levels of boleyn or seymour (yes there’s the miscarriage argument where she does raise her voice but like...are we ignoring Seymour’s “boohoo Mary had the chickenpox” or the fact that Boleyn is also shouting in that argument??? And she usually goes louder than Aragon???) and yet she’s so often defined by that trait even though other queens share it and are even more extreme. And yes, Im fully aware of why certain people characterise aragon in this way and I’m so annoyed that even though we continually call out the fact that’s it’s problematic, it continues to happen. However Aragon does have flaws like every good character should. Aragon just won’t try and listen to the other queens. She refuses to accept that Boleyn or Seymour might have had a worse time than her. Now I personally never got the feeling that Aragon blames the other queens for anything. Her feelings are directed at Henry. Notice in now way she talks about how henry is “running around with some pretty young thing” and she refers to him having “one son with someone who don’t own a wedding ring”. Those people? They’re clearly supposed to be Boleyn and Bessie, two people who are actually on stage at the time. But Aragon doesn’t take an easy shot at either of them in her song. She doesn’t say their name or call them out or try and involve them in her song. Contrast this with DLUH where Boleyn grabs Aragon, forces her to be front and centre in this verse and then insults her constantly (“three in the bed” = airing Aragon’s and Henry’s ✨ intimate issues ✨ with the entire world while “Don’t be bitter, cause I’m fitter” and “he doesn’t want to bang you, somebody hang you” are both pretty self explanatory). I think it’s absolutely key that Aragon doesn’t blame Boleyn or Bessie or direct any misplaced feelings towards them in no way or the show. Her (very justified) feelings of anger and betrayal are (generally) directed at Henry. And that’s something so many people ignore! And I personally wish more people would be like Aragon in this regard in the real world. I don’t know if other people agree with me, but it’s your boyfriends/husbands job to not cheat on you, not someone else’s. I do know some people think that Aragon is slighting Boleyn and Bessie in that verse but if we’re sticking to tudor ideals, Aragon not mentioning them by name (in essence keeping their “dignity” and “honour” intact) would be the kinder thing to to. (Note I’m only saying this with Tudor ideals in mind. I also think Aragon fully knows that Bessie was 13 when Henry started making advances on her and again, refuses to blame Bessie for what happened because she knows she’s a victim).

However...Aragon doesn’t ever try and listen to other queens and will insult them if she has to. She (along with the other queens like Boleyn and Seymour) gets more and more defensive and petty as the show continues. However, she never gets to the same levels of hard hitting insults has say Boleyn. But I mean...Aragon was a queen who went through so much in her lifetime and never was able to really talk about it. Yes, she resisted Henry trying to get their marriage annulled, and she was one of the strongest women at the time, but she couldn’t deal with her emotions the same way that we can today. She never got to told Boleyn to go away or leave her alone. She never got to bad mouth Henry because he was the king. She was, first and foremost, a lady, and she was expected to act in a certain way all of her life. And now that she’s reincarnated in modern days, she doesn’t have to do all of those things. She can be annoyed and let it show, she can tell Boleyn all those things she wanted to do back in the day. Some actresses even lean into the idea that it’s sort of cathartic for Aragon to FINALLY just say what she wants to say without having to worry on how it would reflect on her as queen. Mind you, I still think that Aragon considers how her words would reflect on her (much more than any other queen) but she definitely has more wiggle room within the show than she did during her reign.

In addition, while the fandom also like to reduce Aragon to obsessed with her religion, I actually really like how her relationship with Catholicism is portrayed in the show. While I do concede that Aragon’s faith is sometimes reduced to the butt of the joke, that’s not always the case and I personally really enjoy how Aragon seems to gain a lot of strength from her religion, instead of it holding her back or hindering her. While I do understand why so many characters in media struggle with their religion or find it suffocating (my relationship with Catholicism is...fragile at the best of times), but I genuinely love this idea that Aragon’s faith is what guides her and gives her inner strength in times of need. I mean,,,when she’s pleading to Henry during now way, the music slows to something that sounds more like a gospel song, Aragon is kneeling with her hands clasped and there's bright white light around her (i also vaguely remember something that looks like a crucifix behind her as well? But I'm not 100 percent sure on that). At the time where Aragon is most vulnerable and needs to find inner strength and wants guidance...she turns to her religion and that's seen as a very positive thing!!! The same with Aragon's verse in Sox. Moving to a nunnery and finding friends there is something that's now postive and liberating instead of being stuffy and boring and restrictive like nunnery are often portrayed as in media. (yes I know that's also a play on Henry wanting to send Aragon into the nunnery after their divorce but I do think that there’s no malicious religion-basing in Six is a nice touch that’s often overlooked).

Finally, Aragon’s costume is quite important to her character. It is one of the more feminine outlines (especially the updated version on broadway) and I do think it’s an inadvertent issue that the queens with the more stereotypical feminine costumes are more catty whereas the more stereotypical androgynous or masculine outfits (aka Parr and Cleves) are often the voices of reason, but I don’t think that’s intentional or is intended to comment on anything. It’s just a coincidence. However, the gold of Aragon’s outfit obviously symbolises her love, courage and passion, along with indicating her status as a noble. While yes the rest of the queens were all noble in some way before they married Henry, Aragon was a Spanish princess and the daughter of two incredibly powerful monarchs. She was probably the highest standing out of any of the queens, and her costume reflects that. I also think that her wearing gold to flaunt her status could be her trying to make up for the years between her marriages to Arthur and Henry (where she didn’t have many provisions made for her as far as I know) and also the last few years of her life. (I’ve seen differing reports on how Aragon was provided for after Henry divorced her, with her claiming that she was living in poverty while others state she got 3000 pounds. If anyone has any confirmation then let me know). Either way, her wanting to flaunt her status after her reincarnation by wearing lots of bright gold makes total sense. I’ve also seen a few people say that the bust on Aragon’s costume is the most historically accurate but I can’t confirm that, although if it is then that’s a really nice touch.

Well this took ages, but it was fun to finally get to analyse stuff again AND do it on a queen who doesn’t get discussed very much!!! Aragon often gets reduced to “catholic” or “angry” within this fandom, even though she is just as complex as any other character within the show but she just expresses things in very different ways. And that’s okay! This whole show is about how women (and NB folk!) are different and do have different experiences and do express things differently and have different personalities and that’s okay! We should celebrate our differences.

[cloveroctobers]

CHELSEA ELLE HODGSON —

IG info/Bio: @/chelseaaahodecor | 109k followers | hi babes! welcome to my life lovelies, please get comfy with this Prosecco im serving thru this screen! xx here’s my site if you need some light in ur life: ichelseahdgsondesigns.com 🏝💕

24 (25) years

From Buckinghamshire, England

Comes from a wealthy family

her father’s side of the family founded, “Hodgson investments” their company is built off of financial services

Her papo (grandfather) was arrested on tax invasion & served some time for doing so

Her father, Alistair now manages the company but under a different name

Her mother’s side of the family comes from old money...something about horses?

Her mother, Connie holds many events and seems to make $ from them but Chelsea isn’t quite sure what the woman does or if it’s fully legal

The family is all about protecting their image & if you don’t cut it, there will be repercussions

Feels a little like dynasty (I’ve only seen 2-3 episodes & never finished but get the point?) , maybe that’s why Chelsea & her sister enjoy watching it so much

Parents forsure held courtship events or either went to courtship events with their children (even Albie) & found suitors in hopes of marrying their daughters off (& finding Albie a new wife, only on Mrs. Hodgson’s part— mr. Hodgson seems nicer/easy-going)

Has older twin sibs: Albie-Crispin & Dolly-Georgiana

Often referred to as “the triplet” in the press

Well-known in their city

They’re all called by their first & middle name in their family household even tho their parents do not have middle names

Has a love/hate relationship with albie, he is selfish & has proven to do anything to drag others down to make himself look better

He’s a lawyer & has been married to his wife for about 7 years

Mrs. Hodgson, Dolly, & Chelsea all agree they do not like her but Chelsea puts on a smile whenever her sister-in-law is around while Mrs. Hodgson makes it known that she dislikes the woman, she thinks she’s beneath her son since her family does not make nearly enough $ put together between her & Mr. Hodgson

Dolly has a bf who’s a dental hygentist that she’s been dating for about 3 years but they’re both cheating on each other, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be married

She’s in office management

Chelsea fell in love with interior decorating from the moment she played with doll houses. Her grandparents made sure to send her the biggest doll houses they could find every Christmas. She’s always been in love with rearranging and picking certain items and best putting them into a space that works

She shit at drawing (she’ll leave that to the Architects) but she knows her furniture & patterns quite well

Has asked a few architects out on dates, some she worked with or stumbled across, only one seemed like it could have truly worked...I imagine him to look a bit like Henry Cavill with light facial hair (told you I’m a sucker for it, & Chelsea probably can tolerate just a bit not too much)

Yet Chelsea always has a wondering eye, she gets curious quite often which makes you wonder, is she really ready for love? To fully commit? One day she will be

It’s a competitive field and when she’s ready to battle she will but there are moments when she gets let down & has to pick herself up again

Has ADHD, goes to therapy for it & hates taking her meds. She’d rather stick to therapy sessions since it’s always nice to talk to someone

When she was younger she probably stole a friend or two’s bf & would definitely get mad if they did it back to her but they somehow still end up being friends in the end? Yikes

Hung out with the popular kids, was always at the parties making sure everyone was having a good time. Filling up the cups, directing where furniture should be moved, where the kegs should go, how many people should be there, etc...She doesn’t seem like the stuck up type like her mother but she is privileged & doesn’t realize it as much

Was a cheerleader & ran track, quit track to commit full-time to cheerleading since that kept her in shape enough

Dated here & there, had one bf where they would scream at each other and wouldn’t allow the other to leave or would be upset that the other didn’t come after them...yeah one of those couples

Broke up with her goth bf because he didn’t tell her he wasn’t coming to school for about a week; he had the stomach flu

Canon: Took a computer course in high school & in uni & found out she was at the top of her class for typing the fastest, she now loves the sound of her short pink ombré nails on the keys

Canon: Wanted to be a show jumper due to her mother’s side of the family & their history with horses

Goes to the stables every now & then, there’s one horse there that she’s absolutely in love with & loves to ride. Her father always offered to buy it for her but it’s not a animal she wants to own

Canon: loves finger foods + will get full off them at events quickly. She also doesn’t mind the tiny portions of food at expensive ass restaurants, it’s just enough for her

Takes hair supplements. Probably had long hair growing up that she always kept up in a bun or ponytail but decided to start chopping her hair off & getting layers & highlights which damaged her hair

Approves of plastic surgery

Is part of the itty bitty titty community & got a lift for them

Gets lip fillers for her bottom lip but isn’t a fan of needles + overlines her top lip

loves going to the dermatologist, the spa for facials & whatever else she’s willing to try & finding new skincare to buy

Tans & loves tropical hot summers

Buys an overload of bikinis even in the winter

Hates the rain, it messes with her mood

Loves a good lipstick & lipgloss combo, nudes & pinks are her to go to’s

Fav color is pink

Got herself a guinea pig after the show & named her “bubbly” after her baby in the villa

I feel like she would eventually get a tiny dog too

Has her own flat, that’s quite far from all of her family. She loves her dysfunctional problematic family but Chelsea likes her space from them too

Since buckinghamshire’s culture is more of a Middle Ages style, Chelsea made sure her home wouldn’t hold much of that style inside. It needed to be lively! Her family home was filled with dark wood & she can’t stand that

She loves going to the markets tho. She always seems to leave with something & either finds herself not liking it months later and ends up selling whatever item caught her interest

Her family tends to pop in whenever they want, especially her mother

Canon: talks about cat cafe’s when she’s drunk, says its her version of the chocolate factory + she’s the dancing drunk

Always down for a girls night out, girls trip & girls sleepovers

Probably goes to bed early around 10pm or earlier m if she’s not out having the time of her life, which makes her regret her choices the next morning

All her closest friends back home are a group of girls

Hangs out with Priya, Marisol, & Hope from the villa whereas the rest she’ll mostly communicate with them through socials or gatherings

Will host gatherings & expect them ALL to show up

Is dramatic when things don’t go her way

Loses focus more than gets bored in relationships? She’ll find other things or people to occupy her time which she doesn’t realize can be hurtful to others

When she does realize she hurts someone, she immediately wants to fix it

Canon: Is a blabbermouth. Cannot hold a secret for shit, also cannot tell a lie. Her body language gives it away first if she doesn’t spill it

Retail therapy is the best therapy if she doesn’t have a office appointment

Any spice girl song will be her karaoke song, she is always baby spice

Loves her Prosecco (me too sis!) & keeps plenty bottles in her wine fridge. She originally wanted a space with a wine cellar but got creeped out at the thought since it’s just her & bubbly living in the home

Has high cell phone bills, the girl loves a good chat

Cannot cook no matter how hard she tries. She’s been to cooking classes with an ex, watched videos, order from those food delivery sites to prepare food & it just never turns out well

Will spend hours in furniture stores, she’s had to be escorted out pass closing hours by security guards before & manage to make friends out of them. They all know who she is in majority of the stores she enters

Throws a party every time her following goes up. There’s never not a reason to throw one

Was upset that Carl unfollowed her once and figured Hannah made him do it. Which wasn’t true, Hannah was sure of herself now & doesn’t feel the need to be jealous, the man could follow whoever he wanted—she knew he barely stayed on IG in the first place. He thought it was too shallow

So when Chelsea called him one night sobbing he was utterly confused, he didn’t understand why a follow meant so much

He reluctantly followed her back

Thrilled to know Elijah, Lucas, & Carl all keep up with her. Oh & the rest of the boys ofc!

Chats with Jakub! They also hang out. They’re a bit of a odd pairing but they get along well, he’s basically another big brother to her but she actually likes him—

Afraid of the dark, keeps fairy lights lit throughout the night in her bedroom, keeps scent infused night lights in her hallways

Believes in feng shui

I feel like her voice is soft like jennifer Tilly’s?

Idk what her sun sign is? Is she a sag far as daydreaming cause she does that. I KNOW she has Leo in her chart, she’s dramatic, warm, likes to be admired & appreciated. Sun sign I need help? Maybe she’s a Sagittarius sun? + Leo moon + libra rising

Has a collection of celeb gossip magazines that she keeps on a stand next to her pink velvet chair beside her bow window

I think she will be the first islander that gets pregnant tbh & it’s by an architect (the guy I mentioned/envisioned that’s been waiting on her to realize he can give her the love she needs or prove he can balance her out) or firefighter or someone “manly” she wouldn’t end up with a islander I don’t think

she has a girl & names her, “adore”

Canon: Still wants 5 kids but we’ll see how that goes & if it’ll change, it’s been a bit difficult not drinking Prosecco but she’s got a lovely baby out of it

Crushes? Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfred Enoch, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Cole, Gregg Sulkin, Frank Dillane, Charlie Rowe, & Hero Fiennes Tiffin

Can listen to anything that’s got a good beat. But we all know she’s a pop & folk genre lover. She listens to: Astrid S, Maty Noyes, Cher Lloyd, Bebe Rexha, Allie X, Poppy, POST MALONE, etc.

Anthem? Gabrielle Aplin — Until the sun comes up

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Idk why but im curious what you think about rachel santana and quinn from glee

Hi anon 🧶 Wait, I have barely talked about Glee here. I’m surprised you know/have guessed I have opinions lmao.

But sure, fine. Let me regale you with a tale of watching Glee as it aired. 😂 Though I’ll be honest, I quit Glee after s3, because it just seemed so plotless and like the songs were chosen before the script, etc. I’ve never been one to stick with a piece of media to the bitter end.

But anyway, I’ve never really been an Unholy Trio fan. My faves were always Kurt and Mercedes. It’s not that I don’t like mean girls, because I got really attached to Mini from Skins gen 3. When Brittany said in ep 13 (can’t believe I still remember the ep number gvhv) that she and Santana had sex on the reg, I was like ???? Is this a joke, are they like evil lesbians and/or man eaters? (Because Glee would kind of present them as like, the Siamese cats from the Aristocats, evil twins who were also sexually involved.) Those weren’t the characters I’d have been interested in being explored as wlw, but I wasn’t against it either.

What happened later clued me in a bit on how an opinion will get passed down from top to bottom on a set. Ever since that joke, bi/lesbian fans and bi/lesbian sites (such as AfterEllen and an online forum called the L Chat, iirc) started petitioning the actors and writers to make Santana and Brittany canonly into women. To not relegate that line to a joke. It was impossible to miss that it was bi/lesbian fans agitating loudly for this to happen. There were the people who wanted canon Brittana, Quinntana shippers who wanted Santana and Quinn together because Brittany came off to them as like, not exactly able to consent, Faberry shippers who wanted Rachel and Quinn, and Faberrittana shippers who were writing them in an OT4 or love quadrangle.

And yet, when Ryan Murphy would be asked about Brittana, he’d say that perverted dudes had gotten obsessed with that relationship and were the ones making noise about it. It was so baffling, because if you were in fandom for any amount of time, you knew the fans congregating at these sites and forums and creating fan content for them were women. I have no idea if dude network execs were pressuring him at a creative level or where the fuck that idea came from, but like, that was absolutely not the case in fandom. 

And then, the ACTORS THEMSELVES started saying the same thing. Harry Shum Jr. was asked about Brittana, and he said that fandom was just dudes. And I mean, at this point twitter was only getting started as a platform, but the people who would be tweeting Harry or Dianna or Chord about Brittana would most certainly not be guys. So I had to assume this was either the official PR line, or just an opinion/idea that was passed around on set as real. That the Brittana fan demand wasn’t coming from young bisexual and lesbian fans, but horny dudes who wanted to see Heather and Naya get it on. (Which is bizarre not just because Glee didn’t have a major straight dude fandom, to say the least lmao, but also because Glee never really featured sex scenes? In its earlier seasons, Glee was fairly tame because it was a network show on the period right after the Dubya admin, where there had been a greater focus on ~appropriate TV~, i.e. less homos, less sex.)

Heather was also asked about Brittana on several occasions, and she too seemed to think this was all coming from horny dudes. Many times, she would be asked about Brittana and reply about how much she liked the Brittany/Artie relationship, which was obviously disheartening for shippers. On the other hand, Naya was always very supportive of Brittana and always took the fans seriously. In interviews, she was tentative at first, and then with time more and more vocal about the ship. With the way the characters’ storylines went in s4, with Santana being shipped off to NY to date Demi Lovato and having sex with Quinn in one truly epic episode, and Brittany going back to dating guys (I can’t remember Brittany dating any girl other than Santana on the show, does anyone else remember anything like that?), I’m pretty sure Brittana shippers had given up on them being endgame until the last season.

As an aside on Quinn having sex with Santana, I think it’s so funny that all three initial cheerleading characters were wlw by the end of the show. Who’d have anticipated that when the show first started? Not me!

I also think it’s so funny that Ryan Murphy now pats himself on the back so hard for the representation, when he had to be dragged into the writer’s room kicking and screaming, and he pretty much fought for every other LGBT storyline (not just Kurt and Blaine, but also Beiste and Unique) before he’d fight for Brittana. I think it’s sweet that those fans managed to turn what could’ve been a one off joke into easily THE storyline that Glee is remembered for these days with any fondness, and the showrunners should be grateful to those fans. (And to Naya!)

[keroujack]

ask me if i do this every day

Steve’s not surprised. Not really. It’s 10 PM on a cool March Thursday. He’s locked in his room writing a paper he should have finished three weeks ago instead of waiting until the night before to do it. But he’s an idiot and he always waits until the night before. Suffers immensely because of it.

So no, he’s not really surprised when his phone lights up with a text from Billy, who had finished the paper days ago and wanted to see a movie, rolled his eyes when Steve told him why he couldn’t at his locker earlier that afternoon.

He’s not surprised either that the text doesn’t say anything, it’s just a link to a playlist on Spotify. It’s called “i’m sick of steve harrington listening to shitty music” and the icon is a truly awful picture of Steve that Billy had taken at the diner a few weeks ago. His hair’s flying in about 400 different directions and he’s got no less than 17 French fries shoved in his mouth.

Which, you know, Billy had dared him to do.

“Bet you can’t fit 15 at once.”

“Watch me, dickhead,” Steve had said, pulled the plate of fries they’d been sharing closer to his side of the booth. “And you’re paying for my food if I can.”

“You’re on.”

15 kept his wallet full, two extra proved a point.

It’s a bad picture. Steve laughs anyway.

For the most part, the playlist is pretty typical. Predictable. A lot of loud shit, the kind that makes Steve’s ears hurt a little bit, though, not exactly in a bad way. There’s also a lot of indie nonsense Steve doesn’t entirely recognize, thinks maybe he’s heard the songs once or twice when Billy’s had control over the aux, but not so many times that he knows what the songs or the bands are called. 

There’s only one song that’s any different. One. Sticks out like a sore thumb. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_gxp28AgLA)

Steve’s pretty quick to look and see who it is. Laughs when he does. Gets halfway to texting Billy, “the weeknd is mainstream asshole”, because Billy says it all the time.

“You’re too mainstream, Harrington. Way too mainstream, I mean, Christ. Don’t you ever listen to anything that’s not Top 100?”

And Steve can hear it. Can hear the exasperation, the annoyance. The way Billy goes a little huffy when he thinks he’s right, when he thinks Steve is being ridiculous. 

His thumbs hover over the letters, over send, ready to be right and rag on Billy for the rest of the night, but then the lyrics start. And he stops.

Because suddenly the song’s got his full attention and he’s listening now.

Like. Really listening.   

And the whole thing-the music, the beat, the words-well, it paints a picture. A vivid picture. One that sends a warm flush up his neck, makes his eyes go a little wide, his mouth a little dry.

It’s dirty. The song. And it’s not that Billy doesn’t listen to songs that are dirty. Steve knows he does. Has balked more than once at the lyrics Billy hums under his breath, low and lazy and way too downright obscene for something like lounging next to Steve’s pool on a calm Sunday morning.

It’s more that Steve’s not expecting a song like this at, now, 11 PM on a Thursday on a playlist made for him by his best friend.

What makes it worse is that it’s easy, almost too easy, the way Steve can see it. See him.

Billy.

Often.

The short mess of blond curls that fall across his forehead after practice every day. The bright blue eyes that cut across a classroom where the teacher no longer allows them to sit next to one another. The sharp curl of his lips around a white-hot smile when he thinks Steve’s said something funny.

The broad line of his shoulders, bare, hard, like the muscles that stretch across his chest, his arms, his back. Stretches endlessly for miles and miles and sometimes Steve wonders, quietly, and only to himself, what it would be like to trace along them all with the tip of his finger.

Often.

The image evolves before he can help it.

He can see Billy’s lips, but now they’re pressed to smooth skin, dark stubble rough against it, rougher against the moan that comes from above him, long, high, breathy. The fan of his eyelashes is thick against his cheeks, eyes closed, focused, devoted. The hand in his hair is slender, thin, twists, tightens as he presses slow kisses down a soft, delicate stomach, lower, lower, lower.

Often.

Steve closes his eyes, tries to wipe the thought away with it, wants to wipe the slate clean. But Billy’s still there. Steve still sees him. Sees his head between a pair of pale thighs, kissing the inside of one, the inside of the other, dragging his lips, trailing his tongue. Working up the long, warm line of tense muscle, inching, closer, closer, closer.

Do it how I want it.

By the time the song’s over, Steve’s laptop has gone black, paper long forgotten. His breathing’s gone heavy, pulse quick, jeans way too tight.

He pushes at his eyes with the heels of his hands because what the fuck-what the fuck?

Since when do those thoughts wear Billy’s face?

The next song, back to loud and abrasive, does a good job of wiping the music from his mind, but the image sticks. Makes it hard to focus. Hard to write about The Iliad and the inherent tragedy of a fate you can’t avoid.

He wants to text Billy, wants to beg him for a copy of his paper-like he always does-so that he can rewrite Billy’s thoughts to sound like his own. Wants nothing more than to be done with this already and go to sleep. 

But he can’t. He really can’t.

Can’t even bring himself to answer when it’s Billy that texts him first. Just a simple, “wyd im bored” but it’s still got Steve’s hands shaking. He damn near puts the phone through the wall when he throws it onto his bed before he can respond.

Before he can say something stupid.

For all the distraction finishing his paper is able to provide, fitful, restless sleep brings the images back. Makes sweat drip at his temple, makes his hands curl into the sheets.

Gives him a reason to spend fifteen extra minutes in the shower before he goes downstairs for breakfast. 

Steve still feels like he’s flushed, like he’s exposed when Billy’s shoulder knocks into the locker next to his that morning. Backpack slung easy over one shoulder, Henley done low, collar spread wide over his chest.

“So?” he asks, rests his temple against the cool metal as he watches Steve struggle to shove a textbook in his bag. “Did you like it?”

“Like what?”

“Like what,” Billy repeats, a bit of a scoff, a laugh mixed in with the words. “The playlist, dumbass. What’d you think?”

Often.

Steve can feel the word sitting on his tongue.

“Loud,” he says instead, smiles when Billy narrows his eyes. “It wasn’t bad, but you still listen to too much of that metal garbage.”

“Oh get the fuck out of my face with that ‘metal garbage’ nonsense,” Billy spits, without venom.

Steve takes that as his chance to lean in close. “What was that? Sorry, you’ll have to say it again. My ears are still bleeding.”

Billy reaches out, flicks his ear at that. Steve smacks his hand away, closes his locker with a slam, a laugh that comes as naturally breathing.

They walk to class. The day goes on.

Steve can’t stop thinking about that song.

Often.

He can hear it.

Hears the echoes in the curl of Billy’s hand around the strap of his backpack. In the twist of his fingers when he leans down to tie his shoe. The sweat that glides along the plane of his back at practice. The strip of skin on his stomach that peeks out when he leans back in his desk and stretches.

It’s everywhere.

Often.

Three days of this and Steve feels like he’s beginning to lose his mind. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday pass in a blur of daydreams, a haze of images he shouldn’t still be ale to see this clearly.

Shouldn’t be so easy for the daydreams to shift, to evolve.

For the body beneath Billy’s to no longer belong to some nameless, pretty face. For it to belong to Steve. For it to be him Billy’s looking up at. His stomach Billy’s kissing down. His thighs Billy’s there between. 

Mornings wake him with a gasp, with ragged breaths and goose bumps that ripple up and down his arms, his spine. A flush that spreads along his neck like wildfire and a throb between his legs so strong that he can’t help but slip a hand below his waistband. 

Do it how I want it.

His heart climbs up into his throat on Thursday night. Billy’s sitting in the passenger seat, phone pillowed in his lap, aux cord firmly attached because, “I can’t deal with your mainstream shit today, pretty boy. Not a fuckin’ chance.”

They’re on their way to the diner for milkshakes after practice, both beyond starving and craving something a little sweet after two and a half hours of basketball and getting screamed at.

Often. 

Steve’s heart climbs into his throat and his stomach drops because, just like that, the song is on. The song is on and it’s started and Billy’s tapping his finger in time with it against the window. Steve feels the words wrap around him, hardly has time to even process how he’s going to exist in the same space as Billy for the next four minutes when he realizes Billy is humming.

He’s goddamn humming and Steve swears he can see Billy looking at him out of the corner of his eye. Feels his cheeks go a little pink, feels his hands tighten around the steering wheel with a grip that hurts.

They’re the longest four minutes of Steve’s natural born life.

He convinces himself that it’ll get better after that. That food and company and conversation will be more than an adequate amount of distractions, but he’s wrong. It’s almost like the diner makes it worse.

They’re sitting across from each other in a small, familiar booth along the windows. The place is fairly crowded, which isn’t weird considering the dinnertime rush here is known for that. Their legs are too long beneath the table and Billy’s knees nudge at his when they settle in, warm, snug. Sets Steve’s skin on fire. 

There’s already a shared plate of fries between them when the waitress comes back with their milkshakes. Chocolate for Steve. Strawberry for Billy.

When Billy’s lips wrap around the straw, Steve’s breath catches and suddenly he realizes he should have said no when Billy asked if he wanted to get food. He should have said no. This was a mistake.

Because now he’s trapped here, in this booth. With Billy’s knees knocking into his and his pretty pink lips around a straw and his cheeks hollowed in the exact same way Steve can see every time he closes his eyes. Hollow around him.

It’s too real now. Too real and too much. Way too much. 

He tries his best to hide his face in his glass. Tries to focus on his shake and hide the fact that he’s not breathing. Not looking as he listens to Billy talk between sips. Nods. Doesn’t really trust his voice at a time like this. When his heart’s racking behind his ribs like they’d only just finished sprints and his mind is cloudy like he’d walked through a wall of smoke.

He’s still not sure he’s breathing by the time they’re back in the car. Steve has to drive Billy back to pick up his car from the school and without the noise of the crowded diner to fill pauses, the silence becomes more noticeable. Thicker. Tenser. 

Especially because Billy doesn’t take the aux again. He doesn’t even turn on the radio. Just sits and drums on the window, jiggles his knee.

Steve is wound so tight he’s afraid he’s going to explode.

The silence doesn’t end when they get to the school, isn’t cut off by the loud slam of the passenger side door.

No. Billy doesn’t move to get out at all. In fact, he does the opposite, turns away from the door, turns towards Steve. Faces him. Steve keeps his body square to the wheel.

The sharp breath Billy lets out is harsh in his ears. “So are you gonna tell me what the fuck’s got you so weird or am I gonna have to ask?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve swallows hard when the words make Billy laugh. Doesn’t really understand why.

“Steve,” Billy says, and that’s when Steve knows he’s fucked. Well and truly fucked. “What’s the problem?”

And Billy knows something is wrong. Always knows it. Has known it since Steve got pushed off the swings by Tyler Boyd in the fourth grade. Billy had only been in school a week, had only just moved from California, but Steve had scrapes all over his legs, was fighting back tears when he said, “It doesn’t hurt that bad.” Had hardly even gotten the words out before Billy tackled Tyler Boyd and pinned him to the blacktop. He wasn’t allowed back outside for recess for two weeks, but Steve started sitting next to him at lunch and that was about as good as a blood pact in their young, adolescent minds.

Stuck together forever.

It’s then that Steve looks at him, realizes Billy is so much closer than his peripheral vision had led him to believe. He’s got one elbow on the center console, his other arm out long, hand on the dashboard, angled completely in Steve’s direction.

Steve still hasn’t said anything, can’t with Billy’s eyes on him like this. With Billy so close. The car so quiet.

Billy’s laugh is softer this time, comes when Steve worries his bottom lip between his teeth, feels the pinch that’s caught between his brows.

“What?” Billy asks, the word even softer than the laugh. Small. Encouraging.

Steve can’t help the way his eyes fall to greet it.

“You’re not allowed to hate me.” 

It’s the first thing he’s said in a while and it’s low, totally miss-able. But Billy never misses anything. Flinches a little when Steve says it.

“Hate you?” he asks, something like disbelief pulling at his tone. “Why would I-”

Steve leans over and presses his lips to Billy’s before he can finish the question, forgets the words in favor of a tiny hmmph of a noise somewhere in the back of his throat.

Which gives way to total silence.

And Steve’s going to pull away. It’s been at least ten seconds and Billy hasn’t moved and Steve’s going to pull away. Going to get out of the car, dig a large hole, fall into it, and die. 

But that thought only last as long as it takes Billy’s hand to find his jaw. It grounds him, holds him, keeps him there like Billy knows exactly what he’s thinking. It’s Billy that moves first, tips his head a little, brushes his lips over Steve’s and smoothes his thumb along his cheekbone.

Steve falls into it like they’ve been doing this forever, lets his hand go to the side of Billy’s neck, follows as Billy guides him. Moves with him. Breathes with him.

He tastes like strawberry when he opens his mouth and Steve can’t quite believe he ever thought milkshakes were a bad idea.

Steve’s pretty sure the soft smack that separates their lips, only barely, is going to be burned into his memory until the day he dies. That. The fan of Billy’s eyelashes, still flush with his cheeks, and the bow of his lips, still parted just slightly.

Billy’s slow to open his eyes, only gets them about halfway there when push comes to shove. Just like when he’s waking up. When they accidentally fall asleep on the couch during a movie and suddenly his breath catches. When he keeps his eyes half lidded and lets consciousness creep in like hunger.

Billy’s looking at his lips when he says, “Yeah?” Breathless. Maybe a little beautiful.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers, doesn’t want to say it. Doesn’t want the words to take this away.

But they don’t. He says it and Billy doesn’t move, hardly bats an eyelash.

Is actually kind of smiling.

Steve can’t help but kiss him again, laughs when Billy whispers, “Backseat’s probably a lot better for this,” against his lips. Lets Billy drag him into the back and feels that heat spread low when Billy climbs into his lap and ducks his head to pick up where they left off. Like they’ve been doing this forever.

Steve wants this to be forever. Wants Billy to be forever.

Always.

Often.

[purplesurveys]

1128

[created by: pinkchocolate]

When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Wednesday when Bea had food delivered to my house. One of our clients was hosting a roundtable session and our task was to order food to be delivered to the attendees’ house, and it turns out she snuck in an order for me as well. 

It was super touching and I tried to do a nice deed yesterday by getting food for her as well; but as I mentioned on my previous survey, I got paired with a scammer delivery guy instead who ended up stealing my order...that I already paid for... :( It was such a flop and I ended up having to give away the surprise to Bea since I had to check if she received it, and that’s when I learned she never got anything. I’ll try again next week or whenever I get my money refunded, hahaha.

What color was the last fruit or vegetable that you ate? Green (green onion).

Is there a compliment you've received, that sticks in your mind? I like it whenever I’m told I write well, since that’s my main talent and it’s always nice to be complimented on my skills.

The last time you received a gift, what did the wrapping paper look like? I have no idea but probably red/green and holiday-themed since it most likely had been a Christmas gift.

What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Not reading anything.

If so, what did you specifically like about it?

Anyone you haven't talked to in a while, that you'd like to hear from? Not really. It’d be cool to hang out with Sofie again because I haven’t seen her since our little trip to Nasugbu, but I’m not necessarily waiting on a message from them.

When you were a kid, did you own any accessories with your name on? Probably a bracelet.

Do you own any items of clothing that you haven't yet worn? Yup. I got a yellow romper from one of my aunts for Christmas, but I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. It’s short and airy, so I’ll probably pull it out once the climate gets warmer again.

Were you awake before 8am today? Yeah, I got up at 4:30 earlier even though I fell asleep at like midnight. I think my body understands that my brain wants me to get as little sleep as possible during weekends so I can maximize my free time, so it woke me up by then.

Is there any food in your house at the moment, that you're looking forward to eating? I still have some of the chicken wings that Bea ordered for me. She got such a huge order and it’s taking me forever to finish the damn box of wings lol.

Is there anyone you know who dislikes the Internet, technology etc.? My grandma refuses to learn how to use a phone or laptop. Which confuses me because usually she’ll ask my mom to relay a message to one of her friends who are on Facebook, and my mom ends up playing messenger. Like pls just get at least a Facebook account if you want to keep keeping in touch with your acquaintances anyway :(((

Name any item in your bedroom that is blue. Trying to remember what’s in my room since I’m currently staying in the living room...and I think I have push pins that are blue.

Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Rocky road and Double Dutch. Marshmallows and/or nuts in my ice cream is a big nope.

Are there any cat cafes in your hometown? There could be but I’ve heard little of them. I’m more aware of existing dog cafes.

Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? I doubt it.

Does anything you own have an image of a bird on it? It’s possible, but again I’m not in my room to check if that’s the case.

Do you know anyone named Abigail? Yes, my mom.

Do you ever use flavored lip balms? I don’t use lip balms at all.

^ If you do, what flavors do you like the most? Kate once had a peanut butter lip scrub that I loooooved to borrow. Other than that, the strawberry ones are nice too.

Does anyone you know own a spaniel? How about an Irish setter? My great-aunt once had a spaniel. Not sure about Irish setters.

What are your plans for the remainder of today? I wanna eat at La Creperie and spoil myself a litle bit, but we’ll see if I’ll have the energy to drive to the mall today. I’ll also have some work to do since we have a presentation on Monday :(

--

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, ideally that would’ve been the case but they thought differently. I admittedly still feel the same, but I’ve also since been able to move on and move forward. If that makes sense.

Who was your closest friend when you were 7 years old? Do you still speak to that person? I actually met Angela when we were 7. And yes, we’re still the best of friends. I just shot a birthday greeting video for her mom last night.

Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? Technically it was Cooper, but the last male person had been my dad. He does but for the most part he keeps it to a stubble.

How many times does the letter 'R' occur in your full name? Twice; in my first name and in my surname.

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with 'S'? Sure, I can think of a couple of relatives whose names start with S.

What color is your TV remote? I haven’t used a remote in ages lmao, but if I remember correctly ours is mainly black.

When was the last time you went to a wedding? Who got married? 2007. My uncle and his then-girlfriend, who of course became my aunt when they wed. We’ve since had relatives who got married after that period, but for all those occasions only my parents received an invitation. It’s understandable though, I know they want to save up on costs and stuff.

Name a band you like, that starts with the 2nd letter of your name. One Direction is the only group coming to mind.

Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? My 7th birthday gown was inspired by Cinderella’s, but it wasn’t the same exact dress as it was orange.

Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. I’ve never been able to understand the rules.

If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Mr. Goodbar has always been the least exciting chocolate to get hahaha.

Of all your close friends, who have you known the longest? Angela.

Do you own anything that has an image of a butterfly on it? Again, I could. I can’t think of any particular item, though.

Has anyone told you recently that they miss you? Yes, orgmates for the most part.

What was the last song you heard, that made you feel emotional? HYD by Hayley Williams.

What color are the socks you're currently wearing? I’m not wearing any socks right now. < Me neither.

How many friends do you have whose name starts with the letter 'R'? Just Rita.

How many vowels are there in your first name? One. Two if you count y.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Last Saturday, I think.

Name someone you know who has curly hair. Andi.

Have you ever worn orange eye-shadow? Never tried.

Name a song that reminds you of someone close to you. Be Alright by Dean Lewis.

Has anyone ever walked out of your life with no explanation? Yeah but they tried very poorly to keep in touch. It ended up being detrimental to me more than anything else so I took the initiative to be one step ahead and cut ties altogether.

Do you know anyone else with the same first name as you? I can think of one Robyn and one Robin.

Think back to 10 years ago. What TV show(s) were you into? Wrestling programs were all I watched as a 13 year old.

Do you have a favorite T-shirt? What color is it? Yes, one of my wrestling shirts. It’s predominantly white but it has some black and red on it as well.

As a child, did you ever have any scented gel pens or markers? Yessssssss. I spent more time sniffing them than writing with them too, lol.

Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. I find whiskey pretty nasty. I hate beer as well but sometimes I gotta drink it, especially when socializing.

Do you own anything that previously belonged to someone else? I wouldn’t say I own them; they do belong to the original owner and I’m just still borrowing them.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? How did you meet them? That would be Angela haha; we met when we got assigned to be seatmates in 1st grade since our surnames were arranged alphabetically in class.

Is there anyone who sends you messages to say good morning/night? No.

Can you recall the last time you were on a dance floor? March 2020, at a club with mostly Hans’s friends.

Have you ever let someone go, and then regretted it? No.

Do you own any color changing mood jewelry? Nope and I don’t believe in those either so I don’t see a reason why I should get my own.

--

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Was there anything that you planned to do today, but didn't? It’s only 7:06 AM so I’ll refer to my plans yesterday instead – I wanted to continue working on a Google Slides presentation by nighttime, but I was so tired from my shift yesterday and even got a migraine that I never got around to it. I’ll have to work on it this weekend instead.

Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? I mean, hasn’t this been the case over the last year with the pandemic? I communicate mainly through social media now, if not through IM apps like Viber.

What color box does your favorite cereal come in? Don’t really like cereal. The closest thing I have to a ‘favorite,’ Cookie Crisps, comes in a white box, though.

Do you have any plates, dishes, mugs etc. with pretty illustrations on them? Nah, don’t really like printed stuff. Angela had a customized Friends-themed mug made for me but I wouldn’t call it an ~illustration, since the main design is just my name styled in the Friends logo.

Does anywhere on your body currently hurt, or feel sore? I actually took a break from this survey to take Cooper for a walk, and I think I can confirm that I definitely have some kind of allergy to grass. My legs were super irritated the whole time and my skin has since turned reddish.

What is your favorite snack to eat with a hot beverage? Croissants.

Is there any advice you have been given, that sticks in your mind? “Let your healing take time,” from Andi. He also accompanied it the advice with an anecdote about this basketball player who insisted on playing even while he was still dealing with an injury, and playing only aggravated that injury so he was forced to sit out for an even longer time than what was initially set for him. That was really helpful and I keep it close to me to this day.

What's the nicest advice you have ever been given about love/relationships? Know when it’s enough and when to leave, and be kind to yourself.

Do you own any adult coloring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah, I have like three thick ones. I just haven’t gotten the chance to touch them because for the meantime I only have cheap coloring pencils that start to get dull after a few strokes. I’ve yet to buy a more premium set of pencils.

When was the last time you got some new headphones? Headphones would be 2013 when my dad got me a pair of Beats. Not a big user so I haven’t felt the need to get new ones.

Is there a lamp in your living room? What color is its shade? No but my mom has wanting to get one for a while. She just can’t seem to find one that she likes.

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I went to high school with a Xenia. Super nice guy; we were close friends for a while since we were seatmates, and our friend groups also overlapped.

Have you eaten any rice or pasta today? Not yet. I will definitely be eating rice though, because Philippines.

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. I don’t like rice pudding at all, or oatmeal. But those are also taste issues as well as texture issues. < Oooh, oatmeal is a good one. I also could never enjoy marshmallows in my ice cream.

Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Angela.

Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? I wouldn’t say that. There will still always be a part of me that has some sort of feelings for my exes. But the extent to which I love them/care about them fades over time, thankfully. < Yeah, exactly.

^ If so, why do you think that happened?

If you have pets, do you talk to them? Sure.

Are there any TV shows that you strongly dislike, but others seem to love? I tried to get into Grey’s Anatomy or Glee on Netflix, because they were “popular”, but I tried a few episodes, and just couldn’t seem to get into them. < OMG same again, especially with Grey’s??? I tried watching it a couple of weeks ago but I noped out as soon as I heard how poppish the theme song was. I’ve always thought it was a serious drama show but it turned out to have so many teen show elements to it that I was definitely taken aback. The script and some of the acting also kind of sucked, so that was a letdown.

Is there anything you haven't done lately, that you'd like to do soon? Coloring.

Do you own any T-shirts with brand logos on them? Yes, my dad got me a Vegemite shirt from his last contract abroad hahah. He was staying in Australia and I asked him to get a jar of Vegemite so I can finally have a taste, but I think he was scared that I’d hate it and end up throwing out the whole jar so he just got me a shirt instead lol. I’ve also got a Nike shirt somewhere in my closet.

Have you experienced any kind of food cravings lately? Surprisingly not. I’ve been longing to eat at La Creperie again but I’m not craving for anything particular.

Have you watched or read the news today? I watch the news every weeknight since we have it on during dinner.

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. Can’t see any books near me.

Are there any take-away or fast food places close to your house? There’s a McDonald’s literally beside our village, and beside it are a Shakey’s and a Dunkin’ Donuts. There’s also a Burger King right across. If you drive for like five more seconds, there’ll also be a Starbucks.

^ If so, do you ever order food from any of them? Only from Starbucks. I don’t really get fast food anymore.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to? Nothing yet so far.

[paper-stars-and-fireflies]

Asking for a friend

The second story in the Grimm Omens series! As before, both main characters are OCs: Magnolia is mine, and Omen belongs to the wonderful @splanoot​. Thanks for reading!       “I’m tellin’ ya, you gotta go straight for the heart on those, don’t waste your time with the rest!” Maggie waved her arms, gesturing at some imaginary prey as she argued. Omen and Husk nodded back, Husk holding his bottom lip between his lip to keep himself from laughing. Magnolia was a friendly drunk, if a bit loud, and it’d be a long time since she’d let her walls down like this. For his part, Omen had the visor on his helmet cracked a little wider, his trademark jacket folded over the stool between them. Scars criss-crossed his forearms where the sleeves were pushed up to bunch at his elbows. He kept the gloves on, hands resting carefully around his glass. He shook his head, a silent laugh shaking the stress off his shoulders. It was a good night. 

     “You can’t get to the heart on those until you take care of the rest.” Omen pointed out, tilting his glass at her. Maggie smirked back, finishing her glass and setting it down with a loud clack. She leaned across the open seat between them, almost invading his space - as close as she ever got to him.      “That’s what you think, mister. Hunters like me, we get all up close and personal. Besides,” She drew her words out, jabbing him playfully in the chest before leaning back to her own chair. “Don’t underestimate me just because I stick to blades.” She toyed with her snack, some mystery basket of finger food Niffty had dropped off earlier. Her other hand patted at the sheath on her left hip, one of the few she bothered with when she wasn’t on a hunt. She nodded toward his own holster. “Do you ever draw the wrong one? What’s special about it, the gun itself or the bullets or is it both?” Husk shook his head, refilling drinks, watching the two mercenaries argue back and forth in a language only they seemed to speak. Hell, if he didn’t know any better, he might think they’d known each other longer than a couple months. More than once he’d wondered if Omen had earned another fangirl.        A thump to his left and the sound of hands hitting his bar drew his attention, along with both his regulars. Angel Dust lay face down on the counter, one set of arms wrapped around his head while another pair of hands clutched at the edge of the bar. Magnolia threw an arm over his hunched shoulders, cooing excitedly.      “Angie! It’s been so long!” She said, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Angel just groaned, sitting back just enough to rub at his eyes. Husk got busy making him a virgin drink - he was still on restriction according to Charlie.      “I don’t get it, Maggs.” He moaned, finally dropping his hands to his lap. She moved back, letting him sit up. The others ignored him, unamused with his antics. Maggie egged him on, moving to rub his back.      “What’s wrong sweet pea?” She asked, pushing him her mysterious bar food. He eyed it before, disgusted, shoving it back. He accepted his drink, also scowling at it when he realized it was nothing but juice and soda.      “Men, Maggs! Men are wrong. Well, one man.” He finally spat out, gesturing wildly. Maggie nodded sympathetically, sipping on her drink. Omen turned away some, subtly clicking his visor back down. Magnolia might flourish in social situations, but it was always somewhat awkward terrain for Omen, even with those he was closer with. He didn’t have any ill-will towards Angel, either, it was just… not his area of expertise. It was, however, Magnolia’s. Or least, it had been.       “Oh honey,” she drawled, arms around him still, “Tell me about him and I’ll tell you how to break that motherfucker’s heart.” She bared her teeth in a smile that belied her true nature. Angel flinched back, no matter how many times he’d seen it. She dropped it quickly, biting her lip. Angel quirked a smile of his own that quickly faltered.       “I don’t wanna break it, doll. I want to keep it.” He whined. He dropped his hands to the bar again, taking a slow sip of his drink for an excuse not to talk.      “Oh. Ohhhh. Oh nooo.” Magnolia wailed theatrically, dragging her hands down her face and wiping at imaginary tears. “My baby Angel has all done grown up and found a man he wanna love.” Angel blushed, crossing both sets of arms and turning away from her. She chased him, giggling and smiling sincerely for once.       “Look, I came down here for your help, but clearly I shouldn’ta crashed ya date. I’ll be going now.” He complained, standing up and pushing her off. Maggie lurched after him, latching on to his hand.       “Don’t gooo, babe, I was just havin’ some fun. I’ll help you, I’ll help you. Look, I’m happy for you, that’s great news!” She said, pulling him back to sit beside her. He complied, one eyebrow raised. She nodded, kicking her feet in little circles, doing her best not to wiggle off the stool. Her best friend, in love! He reminded her of her brother half the time, she could only imagine the kind of man that’d caught his eye.      “So tell me about him!” She prompted, when he didn’t start to speak. Angel eyed Husker and Omen. The latter turned away, suddenly fixated by watching the ice bobbing slowly in his glass, while the former shifted bottles around behind the counter, taking stock perhaps. Magnolia sat facing him, both hands perched on her knees, waiting. She shot a glare at Husker when she picked up on Angel’s agitation.       “Do we need to head upstairs?” Maggie asked, sliding her empty cup back across the bar. “Or maybe you need a few songs to calm down? Step outside?” She gestured to her mouth, miming smoking, then snapped, letting a spark dance across her fingernails.       “No way. He’s grounded, Magnolia. Hand ‘em over if you’re not gonna behave.” Husker jumped in, as much as he didn’t feel like it. If Charlie caught Angel misbehaving on his shift, he’d never hear the end of it. Magnolia huffed, reaching for her pocket, but Angel cut her off.       “I, no, doll. It’s fine, I just.” He paused, took a deep breath, held it. Letting it out in a short, he picked through his mind, trying to describe the target of his frustrated affections without giving it away completely. He still had a reputation after all.       “Look, you ever, I dunno, you meet a dude you’re into, like, really into, but it don’t make no sense?” He looked down at his hands, all four meshed together and fidgeting in a heap. Maggie laid both her hands over them, helping him still.      “I can’t stop thinkin’ about ‘im. I’ve been flirting like crazy, but it’s like he don’t even notice! Me! Am I slippin’ or somethin, Maggs?” He shrugged, aware of how his reputation worked against him here. “I can’t get his attention, does whatever he wants. One of those tall, dark, handsome types momma warns you about, ya know? I don’t know what to do.” Magnolia clicked her tongue, nodding along.        “I think types like us fall for types like that because our usual tricks don’t work. I need more to work with though. What have you tried? Or what are you after? What’s the issue exactly?” She asked carefully. Angel slumped a bit, still picking through his brain.      “I tried out all kindsa personas and lines and nothin’ phases him. I can’t read him! Not at all! He don’t get rattled, no matter how filthy my mouth gets or what I wear or do. I offered to suck his dick flat out, and what does he say? ‘No!’, to me!” Angel dragged his hands down his face, grumbling. Husker and Omen had turned away completely, taking up the farthest corner of the bar to give them as much privacy as they could with the open floorplan. Angel lowered his voice, leaning closer to his friend.       “Those eyes, and that smile. Maggs, I didn’t even know I was into suits!” Angel complained, taking a drag from his drink before sticking his tongue out. “Too sweet, Husk.” Angel called out louder, trying to cover his whispering, maybe, or dismiss the tension he’d created. Husk nodded as if he cared, refilling Omen’s drink without looking. Maggie held her chin, thumb tracing her lips, fingertips pressed into her cheek, studying Angel. Finally, she spoke, though it was barely a whisper.       “Angie…. Are you… In love with..Al-?” Immediately Angel lunged at her, almost tackling her out of the chair, trying to cut off the demon’s name. She grabbed his wrists on reflex, springing to her feet and throwing him into a headlock. He coughed, reaching for her side with a free hand.       “Easy tiger, save it for the bedroom.” he wheezed, and she dropped him, hands flying to her face in horror. She helped him back to his seat, apologizing profusely.       “It was just instinct, I’m so sorry! I - I didn’t mean to!” she repeated, hands clasped in front of her. “Oh, Angie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think it was gonna be - Okay, okay.” She held out her left hand, green sparks fizzling along the back of her hand. She blinked and the same sparks lit in her eyes, hellfire come to witness.       “I swear to keep your feelings a secret, until my extermination or the deal undone. Sound like a deal?” She tried to smile reassuringly, offering her hand to him. He shook, sighing. Green wrapped around her hand, gone in a blink. Both of them settled back in their seats, silence hanging awkwardly over them. It wasn’t the first time Maggie had made a deal with Angel, but she hated using them on her friends. Still, it was to protect them.       “The deal’ll keep it safe, and he doesn’t send shadows after me when I’m not out on a contract. Your secret’s safe. I, um, bet I can help you out! You’re lucky I’ve been working for him for a while, though, or you’d be shit out of luck.” She continued on, trying to cheer Angel up, but Omen didn’t hear her anymore. He gestured to Husk, bowing his head slightly. Husk moved in close, disguising it by changing his drink for another.       “She’s one of Alastor’s?” Omen asked under his breath, eyes trained on Maggie behind his visor.       “Has been for a good few months now. Since a couple weeks before you met her, anyways. That boy she’s tryin’ to kill, he’s the real deal. She struck a deal with Alastor to even the playing field.”       “Why.” Omen couldn’t keep his voice as flat as he’d have liked, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Husk could see through him.       “She needed help. You saw how tore up she got. They probably have some kinda kinship or whatever, or same rulebook.”      “Husker. What are you talking about.” Omen barked at him, anxiety spiking. Just when he thought everything was going to be peaceful for once.      “She’s a crossroads demon, Omen, same as him. You saw the light show. Made a deal with the bastard.” Husk turned away, knowing he couldn’t say anymore. Omen lowered his head, nails digging into the countertop where he clenched his fists. He stood up abruptly, patting at his pockets. “Gonna go out for a minute,” he said, but only Husk was listening. Magnolia was too wrapped up in swapping stories and details about difficult love interests with Angel and moaning about the ones they’d missed out on for one reason or another.       “Do you have any, not tryin’ to be rude here, doll, but any actual, helpful advice? Something for this, ah, particular case?” Angel asked, eyeing the door shutting behind Omen. He had a theory of his own.      “Hmmm. Well….” Magnolia hesitated, glancing at the empty barstool behind her. “Those types of men are...very hard to work with sometimes, you know? Your normal tricks aren’t gonna work. Can’t come on strong, can’t come on too weak, or leave it all to them. Hmm.” She paused, running a hand through her hair. There was a flush in her cheeks that definitely wasn’t the alcohol.       “Those types, you gotta be blunt and honest, but not so forward. Just kinda, friendly? But a litttttle bit more. You kinda gotta give them room to come out of their shell to you, not the other way around. Take it real, real slow. Make them as comfortable as you can, meetin’ them on their turf. Every now and then, it’s alright to give them a little push or nudge, let them know you’re into them or you want something, but you really gotta leave it up to them in the end. That...that make any sense?” She looked at the empty stool again, then the door, trying to find Omen’s silhouette behind the dark glass.       “Uh-huh. Real helpful, doll. So! How long you been datin’ the big bad biker?” Angel shifted gears, leaning into her space. She sputtered, leaning away, face red.       “We’re not dating at all! Just friends! We’re just both...regulars here! Right, Husk?” She looked to him with pleading eyes, but he just smiled, not bailing her out.       “Uhh-huh. And you just so happened to be into a ‘tall, dark, handsome’ hunter guy that don’t let nobody close, and it’s not your drinkin’ buddy who just so happens to match up perfectly to everything you’ve hinted at for weeks? I ain’t buying it, doll.”       “Angel! There’s nothing - I’m not!” She grabbed her drink to hide her embarrassment with a sip but was disappointed to find it was empty. Angel just laughed at her, grabbing at her basket of snacks.       “You’re a crossroad demon! Just make a deal with him!” He managed through his laughter. She pouted, carefully tucking her hands away.       “I don’t wanna go that route. Not with him.” She whispered, face turned down.      “You’re breakin’ my heart, Maggs. I thought I was special!” He whined, arm thrown over his face. She huffed at him, staring at her hands. He softened, dropping his hand on her shoulder.      “Tell you what, doll. You take your shot, and, after a little bit, I’ll take mine. How’szat for a deal?” He asked, offering a hand. She took it hesitantly, shaking just once. Another wash of green light snaked around her palm and she sighed, overdramatic as ever with them.      “Alright,” she said finally. “Sounds like a deal. But -” She stole a glance at the door, and the figure beyond it. “Not tonight.”   

[simpinforyoongi]

Hey that's my water! ~ Shy!Jungkook x reader

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: fluff?? A bit of angst mAYBe like 0.002%, attempted humour but like, IDK how to make things funny ok don't attack me

Summary: Jungkook finished all your water while kinda confessing and you just ask him to give you time to get to know him. (and you're hoping that he doesn't change his mind)

{Note: This is my first imagine on Tumblr and I'd really appreciate any feedback and comments and notes. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy it!!}

{p.s guess where the picture is from!}

~~~~~~~

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don-

You peek at the confused boy to your right who sighs for the umpteenth time in the past hour.

Focus y/n focus . It's your finals.

You look back down to your half finished paper and start writing again, but not before taking yet another sneek peek at him.

You know, seeing such behavior of yours, one would think that you're crushing on this cute boy, Jungkook.

Well, it's not fuLLY wrong, I mean, he's kinda cute,ok. But its not quite true either.

Well its just, its hard to resist such a baby face and honey-sweet charms, okay?? And the fact that you're a hoe for shy boys isn't helping at all

I'd say you're giving exams a run for their money when it comes to being avoided by Jungkook.

I mean the guy hasn't held eye contact with you ever for more than half a second!

That day when you bumped into each other? Nopity. One second he was there with books sprawled across the floor and the next second he wasn't. He didn't even look at you!

Then there was that time when the only seat available was next to you and the rest were near his "fangirls". Its fair to say he shared his meal with squirrels that day.

And then there was that day when the teacher had asked you to explain something to him since she was in a hurry and you were the only one left in class. That was probably the only time he directly talked to you.

By "talk" , I mean the low "yes" when you asked whether he had understood or not. That's it.

Those were the only times when you interacted. In the past year.

And that last time was like 4-5 months ago.

Weird, considering the fact that you share a good number of classes with him. Well maybe he's just too shy, don't stress over it you dumbass.

You put your pen down and stretch out. One gets stiff after sitting in the same position for so long you know.

15 minutes are still left on the clock.

Jungkook still seems to be writing.

Your eyes linger on his face for longer than you'd like to admit.

Ok but like

Damn

he has a sharp jawline.

Slice my throat with that jaw please

But still those chubby soft looking cheeks? Howww?? Then there are those doe eyes that hold the soft chocolate brown orbs.

Oh how you'd love to stare at them for hours on end. And tangle your fingers in the soft brown locks that are hiding his forehead. Your eyes wander down to the sweet brown pools of caramel that I mentioned a moment ago and you can't seem to avert your eyes from his.

.

.

wait.

.

He's looking at you.

.

Y/N HE'S LOOKING AT YOU

You instantly turn back around and stare your paper with such intensity that if looks could burn, the flimsy piece of paper would've been long gone by now.

Well that's an amazing way to initiate contact. Great job!

Since that creepy eye contact, you didn't even dare look at his general direction

Unknown to you, he was smiling since he caught you staring at him with a hint of a dreamy smile.

He thought you looked cute with blood rushing to your cheeks.

He should try to make you flustered more often. Actually he should've tried a lot of things.

But him being a wimp is getting in his way of even looking at you nicely.

After revising your paper, you hand it in and head out.

Anyways

yeET FINALS ARE OVERRR

Walking to the entrance, you make a list of all the delicious food you're gonna eat and get fat now while binge watching all the dramas that had to be kept on hold due to exam season TT

BUT FINALLY ITS OVER SNSMMDMD

YEEEHEE

The sun suddenly seemed brighter and the sky seemed bluer.

you put in your earphones and settled on a favorite after much thought.

Ah life is sweet

And then it isn't

As you neared the entrance, a group of boys caught your eye. What surprised you more than them staring at you was the fact that Jungkook was one of them.

They immediately went back to talking amongst themselves.

Huh

Anyyyywaaaayyysss its time to PARTAYYY

So there you were, minding your own business, skipping along the song and mouthing the words.

You know, beautiful life.

But this peace didn't last long when your tranquil venture was interrupted by heavy and fast footsteps behind you.

Oh shit what if its a kidnapper. Oh shit oh shit oh shit

Instinctively, you looked behind.

Jungkook

Oh wait it's Jungkook. Hah not a kidnapper.

Oh wait

its JUNGKOOK

What if he's here to talk about the weird eye contact.

OhMY GOD OH MY GOD OY MY GOD OH MY GOD OHMY-

He stopped right in front of you and you swore your heart would leap out and break dance in front of you any moment now.

He glanced behind him at a black van.

Oh wait maybe he IS here to kidnap me.

Good as long as the weird eye contact isn't brought up.

He looks back at you and you're like ????

He says hey

You say hi

And then you're just standing there.

He again looks back at that kidnapping van and this time some of those boys from earlier stick their heads out and give him a thumbs up and you're again like ????

"So ummm.. hehe.." Jungkook looks away from you and your hoe-for-shy-boys side is just really to jUMp out of your skin and on him

"hey you tryna kidnap me or something" you smile, trying to ease his extrEMely visible tension thats being emitted from him in squiggly Iines like those in cartoons and stuff

but you're like honestly confused???when he keeps opening his mouth and closing it like a fish trying to breath in air

and as cruel as it sounds but you haTE it when someone interrupts your music sessions and its not an exception this time either,

even though the reason of interruption is extremely pretty and you're entertained just by looking at him

"...heyyy??"

"oh um... well..its just.."

"You know what nevermind Jungkook. I'll do the rest"

you look to your right and

its one of those boys

and boYY HE'S just as pretty as Jungkook if not more and you'd think you're drooling but actually you're quite a composed lady so you just normally very un-creepily look at him.

Composed lady my as-

"Hi I'm Namjoon. I'm Jungkook's friend. And I'm just here to-"

"Hi iM YOUR HOPE YOU'RE MY HOPE IM J HOPEEE"

"Hobi cAlm down you're not calling yourself that"

"hiii excujje meee I'm Jimin nice to meet you y/n"

"jimin calm down and get insi- TAE DON'T PUSH JIMIN LIKE THAT"

"GoddAMnit I'm being sqUISHED you guys let me breath-"

"ah sorry hyung but its y/nnnnnn"

"thats not an excuse to FRIGGIN KILL ME Jimin!"

"i said I'm sorry hyung but come out meet y/n"

"wait but let me breaTHsjnxxn hoBIII"

"GUYS CALM THE HECK DOWN YOU'RE SCARING HER" namjoon yelled.

wow

Ok

"umm we're really sorry. Please gimme a sec" and then he was like guys get the frick in or I'll personally kick your asses to the moon and it was supposed to be a whisper but you heard it lolol

So you're standing there like.. ok hi nice to meet you all Im y/n and wait how exactly do you know my name again???

"Jungkook talks so muc-"

"aaAAAHHHA BBBBSHHH ye ye i told them about you haha ye ye that's why they know" and he's like furiously sweating and stuttering and you're like waah ok ok calm down I don't want you having a heart attack or something good god

"Anyways, hi I'm Namjoon and I'm a friend of Kookie here" he smiles and OH THOSE GOOD FREAKING DIMPLES SOMEONE DROWN ME IN THEM

"kindly ignore these savages here" and you find that really funny so you're like "lolol that's fine XD XD haha" and smiling and all

The rest of them introduce themselves and by the end, your name just sounds unreal because of all the "hey I'm y/n"s and did i mention each of them is like.. a freaking living masterpiece?? and like so so sweet, except the Yoongi guy, he's a bit quite but you can't judge because you're like that most of the times too but you're an amazing person and so might be he .

then you ask them why they are here

"so actually, we're here because," he looks at Jungkook, "Jungkook is a coward."

"huh???"

"well you seem like a sweet girl and we decided we'd get Jungkook to ask you to hangout but he is of course a coward and thats why I had to pipe in to save him because Jungkook really likes you a lot an-"

"AAAAAAAAABABABA BALAKLAVA CHOCOLATE CAKE BANANA MILK yes hyung I'll handle this you leave" and he's just pushing all of them back in the van like a sack of potatoes despite their protests and then they just...take off??

What the-?

"ehh??"

"um..ijustwannaaskifyouwannahangoutsometimemaybeifyouwant" his eyes are closed and nose is crinkled and you just wanna SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH HIS GHADDAMNED FACE

"uh what?"

"i..i just wanna..askifyouwannahangoutsometime"

"umm?? Sorry could you please speak a tad slower??"

and he seems like he's suffocated now, like his ears are just red and sweating even more and honestly he's worrying you now

"dude you okay?? You seem really red. Here have some water" Dude. Yes. You're cool unlike those fanfic girlies with their blushing and stuttering. You're a complete badass actua-

He takes the bottle from your hand and gulps everything down and you're just like hey thats my water! but you gave it to him to drink so you can't really say anything

and okay he really seems like a fish who just got dropped in a bowl of water after being on land for 3 days

yea wait that won't work he'd die so like

he really seems like a fish who got dropped in water after being on land for like 3 minutes

So ok he seems human now

"yes you were saying?"

"Uh...do you..um.. would you wanna hangout sometime? If you're free that is.. only if you want to though" and he's like blushing a little and just so cute and you just nsndnfnfkwk

But you're also like OoO

"i-i mean d-dont worry its not like a date or anything i mean if you want it can be a date but i don't think you want that so like its just normal two people hanging out and its just like I really like you you're really cute and i just wanna hangout and just-" he takes a deep breath

"uhh.." you look down.

He just kinda confessed to you so you're kinda ?!?!?!?! right now but you also don't like dating and stuff because? Why would you waste your time on someone when in the end you're gonna just get your heart broken and like, yea that might not happen but you'd just rather sleep

But like, this weird voice at the back of your head says that you should go for it even though you're breaking your rules but like rules are made to be broken you know but you're also scared but you really don't wanna say no to him cos

well you kinda maybe a little bit like him ok?

"uumm.." your brain still can't form coherent sentences

"it's ok. Don't worry." He says and you look up and he has this sad expression and you're like NXNFFDND DON'T BE SAD PLEASE HEAR ME OUT but of course you say that in a more composed way

Ms. Composed lady

"no Jungkook that's not what i mean um.. actually.." so you explain how you think its a waste of time and stuff and you also explain that you really really really wanna get to know him more

"so..can you give me some time? Please?? So at least I can have you as a friend if you don't like me anymore later??" and he seems to be thinking and you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind

"I'll take you for ice-cream!!" and that seems to convince him

"and banana milk too??"

"sure"

And the sweetest little smile dawns on his lips and he's just nodding his head and you're just UwU

"but you finished all my water though."

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

[confessionsofalionholic]

Hi, COAL admins. I don’t want people to be posting on my blog, at all. Ever. That’s why my stuff is Anon.

So, as far as NIP…..

Should be apologizing to me. Especially after those lies.

I have done nothing but protect Rat Clan. From thieves, from people only there for drama… and others.

Let’s go through what Nip said…

(A bird just flew into my window?)

“

hey guys, it’s nip here, ya know, the “thief”. Yes, the thief.

ashri isn’t part of that, for obvious reasons. (I’m not sure why, I let you be admin for longer than you should have been. ALL you did was sit around, ask permission to take GB & without waiting, take it, you made CSS & maybe accepted 4 or 5 member requests and came out with the theme song…) 

i’m gonna come clean here; i didn’t steal because ‘i wanted that stuff!!!’ (All the stuff you stole, Land put in, which is why she was upset. I had her talk to you…)

it’s because i’ve seen so much bad shit on ashri (you’re not even in the discord, so you wouldn’t know if any of it is true or just framed [which most of it is, trust me.], that i decided i was sick of her abysmal rules (?) and the harmful things that she had said to many clan members in the discord [when? LOL this is a blatant lie]. i wanted to leave the clan to avoid getting bashed for being part of it (AND STEAL?). that backfired. i didn’t mean to steal 10gb worth of items [sure ya did]; i hadn’t counted the gb count when i took everything i did. of course, the sb and gb were on my terms.

This is where it gets interesting… 

a dear friend i was talking to told me to stick with items, but i was low on funds and required the 5gb for my FAPA  as i have 40+ lions in my pride and, what, 100 sb+0 gb? the 3k i planned to use to help me alot, while the 5gb i used immediately on FAPA because it was a pain to go through all my lions every day. (Who cares, you could have asked)

i took the css i made too, because i worked hard on that and was going to leave anyway. (Ok cool)

when ashri came on, i had her blocked out of fear i was going to get a pure yell at. i was heading to sleep when i opened my phone about 11:00 pm to see messages from the friend i mentioned earlier, a screenshot. i checked to see ashri had come back on.

I have never "pure yelled” at someone. I didn’t understand it, and an admin told me what happened I was like, well shit. That’s all. I tried to message you friendly, AS YOU COULD SEE in previous posts, hoping you’d come to your senses. You had me blocked, which then put me into a little bit of frustration. I then asked another admin to 3rd-party.

a few quotes directly from ashri, from a screenshot: ‘just don’t trust nip lmao’ 'my messages are not harmful to anyone’

Yeah, don’t trust Nip, they were supposed to keep this clan running, as an admin, but never did anything to support it and didn’t just leave like a mature person would, they stole alot of items, set the clan hoard grab to 10, took their CSS, took GB, and SB, and blocked the admins.

i was scared. scared i’d get in trouble. scared i was going to get a ban, or to get questioned, or harassed by rat clan members [which didn’t happen, luckily] Yeah, because that wasn’t my goal. Yeah. I’m going to call you out because you’re a fucking thief. That’s it though.

THIS IS INTERESTING a member came to question me. they asked, 'why did you take that stuff?’ i explained to them, and they understood. added me on discord and told me that land [an admin of the clan] was upset. of course, i was like 'oh no’ because i didn’t mean for this to affect the entire clan. i unblocked land [as i had, thinking she’d have a go at me] and profusely apologised, in which i will have shown at the bottom, and offered to put everything back. (After Land bribed you basically)

land told me the things she wanted back, which were the lambs, rmas, sb+gb, zebra heart [which i had used] and a few decors which the members wanted. along with some brawl apps [i only took 2 of each]. they allowed me to keep 1ksb and 2gb [but of course i used the gb], so i asked if i could give the zebra heart + 3gb back in the morning as it was 12 at this point. she allowed it luckily. (I did.)

Ok, coming clean. everything Land told you was me. I was the one who let you keep some of the GB, some of the SB, and some of the items. That was me. If you don’t believe me that’s up to you, you can ask Land. I told Land, if he’s willing to give it back, then here’s a list of what I’d like to be returned. Tell him he can keep some of the GB/SB, I don’t want to cause that many problems, but I want most of it back. 

Yeah Nip. You’re banned from Rat Clan. And the discord. Don’t come crawling back because you believed the lies about me. The only thing I see wrong that I’ve done is “whine about hoard” in chat, when we have thieves / target people, and the thing I said about suicide.

I never targetted anyone from this clan, or abused my powers, or accused players of things they didn’t do. My clan messages were supportive to all so long as they’re not just there to frame me.

Currently re-doing all of rat-clan, CSS, summary, hoard, everything. Damn nip, if you would have joined the Discord you wouldn’t have believed anything people here said. Oh, but people post the one or two things I say that are wrong, and deem me unprofessional, a bad person, a bitch, an asshole, etc.

I know people are targetting me & that is making them target rat clan which I’m fixing right now.

Target me all you want, just leave my clan out of it. I’m keeping it that way. You guys think I care, I really don’t. I enjoy replying and proving peoples’ lies wrong, but you know, im not going to screenshot the 100 nice things I’ve said to make up for the one wrong thing I’ve said.

Everyone claiming I banned them, apparently Land banned one, I banned one for admitting they’re just there for screenshots, and I kicked two for “”'roasting’“” me. AKA just being unfriendly and negative in the community.

i’m extremely sorry for all of this. i’m extremely sorry for taking the things you admins and clan members worked hard to get and put in the hoard. i didn’t mean for this to become so big, nor to harm the rat clan. after all, i helped create it and build it up.

i hope you can forgive me.“

No, you’re banned. :)

COAL, I don’t know what you guys mean by "blog”. Again, I do not want people crawling onto my personal blog. But yes, I would appreciate if they started getting filtered out and there was less.

This is a blog. The account that you used to submit this on is a blog. The Ashri drama is getting irritating and we can’t be used as a middle man for you to complain to other people about their submissions. Either make a new blog, make yours private or stop submitting.

[feel199x]

going, gang member! han jisung, band!au, florist reader

chapters: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X masterlist   [this fic is complete!]

warnings: hospital setting? angst

a/n: that’s a wrap, cherubs! i hope you enjoy, i worked super hard on this fic! IM SCARED HHH

song rec: jungle - julia

 Your recovery wasn’t graceful. You spent a month in critical condition, barely able to maintain consciousness for even a short period of time. The doctors had explained that it would take a while for you to recover physically, and a lifetime to recover from the psychological trauma. Maybe it had only been a short amount of time maybe, but those days would replay like a broken record in your head. Jisung understood, even if he got frustrated with your state- it wasn’t fair that you were going onto your second month and the fuckhead was fine- albeit in federal prison where he belonged, but he was still alive. You were barely hanging on.

Jisung had brought in your record player and played your records as you lied in the bed. He was missing performances, his presence missed on stage- but he vowed to never leave your side again. He never left your bedside, holding tightly to your mostly limp hand as he worked on another rap. It was two months now, and since you didn’t have any family around- they wanted to pull the cord. Jisung cried when the doctors talked to him, and they sympathized they really did, but Jisung would never do that. He told himself he would love you forever, and he would. He knew that you would wake up some day, he still had hope, naïve as it was.

 Jisung refused to let them, calling his members in a desperate attempt to scare off the doctors. They visited you as much as they could, telling you about their day and leaving flowers for you at your bedside. They kept your apartment and shop in shape. None of them were too sure if you would ever wake up, but they had to have hope. If not for Jisung, for you. They kept Jisung company as he sat beside you, gripping your hand tightly like it would fall off if he let go. Everyone was worried about you, you looked so weak and helpless and they felt worse because there was nothing they could do. Even guiltier because they felt in part at fault for everything that had happened. Every day, there was more pressure on Jisung to pull the cord, but he refused. He lived in your hospital room now, afraid that the doctors would come in suddenly and rush you to the morgue.

 It was three months in when you finally became responsive. Jisung had spilled tears, barely able to compose himself and make out words as he planted kisses all around your face. He was sputtering, unable to form a cohesive sentence, just happy that your eyes were finally opening again. It had been so long, too long until he’s seen them at last. They were such a pretty color, especially in the sun, especially when they shined bright while you smiled.

It took two more weeks to get used to walking again, eating and chewing all by yourself- it was faster than most, but you felt like you had already wasted so much time. Jisung had lot a significant amount of weight, and you ordered him to go home to eat. He wasn’t happy about it, eyeing the doctor suspiciously but he obliged if anything to make you happy. His band members visited in that time, excited to see you up and about. They walked the hospital hallways with you, telling you silly stories and enjoying your company. Jisung returned a week later, much healthier and looked a lot more full of life. You felt heavy with guilt, so self-involved when you learned that Jisung hadn’t left your side for all this time.

“You should’ve gone on with your life, Jisung. You can’t live for me.”

“I wanted to be the first person to see you become responsive.”

“I feel selfish.”

“Please don’t. I wanted to do this, I can rap anytime. I love you.”

“I love you.”

The doctors were reluctant to let you leave the ICU but compromised with the promise of physical and psychiatric therapy. You weren’t very fond of having to spill your feelings to a stranger; it felt invasive, but you knew that it was for the best. You couldn’t deal with all of it alone, you wouldn’t do that again. You wanted to recover, and you knew it wouldn’t be fast or linear, but any progress was better than none. You were starting to look like yourself again, finally recognizing yourself in the mirror. Most of all, you were excited to sleep in your bed again and most importantly, with Jisung. It was hard to cuddle in a hospital bed, and it wasn’t one of the most comfortable either. You wanted to see your plants again, maybe they would’ve been dead by now, but at least you would have the chance to revive them. Jisung had brought you a large teddy bear, one that he was struggling to carry your room and he got you a large bouquet of roses.

“Boring, I know. You remember that dude you thought cheated? Well, after seeing how pretty the arrangement looked I wanted to get one for you.”

You wrapped your arms around him, laughing. “I love it,” you whispered, pecking him, “And I love you.”

“Don’t I get a longer kiss for that?”

“Mmm, yes.”

All the boys were thrilled to see you, and you were welcomed to a surprise party in your shop. You expected all of the flowers to die, but it turns out the group had taken turns taking care of your shop- it wasn’t the best since their knowledge on flowers wasn’t exactly extensive- but it was endearing nonetheless. Your shop was a rainbow of colors, petals decorated the floor, your name in shiny balloons. A record playing in the background. You started to cry, a smile plastered onto your face as you hugged each group member. The cake you got was frosted messily.

“Okay, so I know it’s not that good,” Felix huffed, “But we made it with love.”

“We brought a cake Jisung’s grandmother made in case this one sucks.”

“Jeongin!”

“He’s right.”

“Seungmin, I will end you.”

Seungmin surrendered, putting his hands up. Minho put an arm around your shoulder. “You’re the only other person with sense here,” he sighed, “Chan and Woojin bought dollar store paper plates for your comeback. How disgusting is that?”

“I didn’t know there were better options!”

“Plus, they’re efficient. So don’t trash dollar store paper plates.”

Minho made a face and turned to you, sticking out his tongue. “Disgusting,” he smiled, “I decorated this all by-”

“Not true,” Hyunjin ruffled your hair, “I helped. Do you feel okay?”

You nodded. “Great!” Minho twirled you, “Let’s dance.” You were still a little weak, but thankfully, Minho did most of the work. He danced around you shamelessly and eventually forgot that he was supposed to be dancing with you. You smiled and laughed hard as you watched Minho just fall short of grinding the floor, Hyunjin, on the other hand, taught you some basic steps, careful not to push you too far. It was good to finally be able to relax, your favorite music playing, everyone pleased with your recovery.

“Hyunjin.”

“Hm?”

“Where’s Jisung?”

“Shh, just dance.”

You were more or less swaying, slightly worried, but watched Felix do a dance from a game you were glad you didn’t know. The music came to a halt and you spun around seeing a very smug Chan and Jisung set up a mixer on your counter. “This song,” Chan spoke into the mic, “was made by 3racha for a very special someone.”

“Mostly me though,” Jisung cut in quickly. “Mostly me.”

A stupid smile spread across your face, and it hurt from how much you were smiling. It was hard for you to completely understand what he was saying since his Korean was a lot faster than you were accustomed to, but it was sweet nonetheless. Because the fact that he made a song, specifically for you and had spent all that time by your bedside without complaining or getting angry at you- it wasn’t enough, it was more than enough. When he came down from standing high on a stool, he pulled you into a rom-com kiss, with the dip and all.

“It’s been a while, huh?”

“Too much for my comfort.”

“Right in front of my salad?” Minho sighed, “Disgusting. I am. Disgusted.”

The night continued, as the stars twinkled not out of obligation- but because they wanted to illuminate the sky. The moonlight made the stained glass color spill across the floor, melting with the flower petals color. Things were finally good, things had worked out. Love always found a way. Each member bid you goodbye, seeing the time as their cue to leave and knowing you must be completely exhausted. But Jisung stayed, as pulled you up to your apartment. “I have something to show you.”

You had gotten up much earlier that morning, Jisung head refusing to remove your head from your chest.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I do. I want to.”

He planted a morning kiss on your lips. “I love you.”

“Then let me get up.”

“But you’re so soft..”

“Sungie, pretty please?”

“Fine. But you’re not leaving this bed when we get back.”

“Alright,” you kissed him on the cheek, “Only because I love you too.”

“I don’t even get a kiss on his lips?”

“Maybe if you get up..”

He shot up, turning to you and pulling you towards him and you happily obliged. “I love you a lot,” he murmured against your lips, “so much.”

The car ride wasn’t quiet. You and Jisung were singing along to the song playing on the radio, he held your hand even as he drove. The scenery was surprisingly nice even though the season was making its transition into fall. It was scenic, the route. The red, orange, and yellows decorated the pale blue skyline. You hummed, trying to ease the tension in your chest. The sky was slightly dimmer, the sun just barely passing for shining. There were leaves scattering up and everywhere as the crisp air carried them to places you’d never know. You were a little nervous even though you knew you were safe. Jisung parked the car and quieted the music.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” you kissed him, “I’m sure. I’ll be fine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, always.”

“And forever.”

“And forever.”

It was bleak, and your hand had a slight shake to them as you signed your name in and was lead into a visiting room. You wondered how many people there were here, how bad they must all be if they were in a place like this. It scared you, enough to give you a slight shake, but you pressed on. There were so many gates, a constant clicking and beeping as someone led you. There was nothing rehabilitative about this building. It was gray and damp, the wardens angry and spiteful of everyone and everything. You wondered the things they must’ve seen, the people they must’ve experienced to bring them to a point like this. There was regret pulling at your intuition, and you were beginning to grow weary. You sat in the plastic chair, the only thing separating the two of you a polycarbonate class. You picked up the phone when you saw him coming.

“I miss you,” he sputtered, “I miss you so, so much. You have to forgive me, I love you more than he ever could. You know I don’t deserve to be here. I’m a good guy, all I did was love you. You have to get me out, you have to. Wait, is that-”

“A promise ring,” you said, trying hard not to display emotion. But you help up your hand, staring at the ring lovingly, “Jisung got it for me.”

“He doesn’t love you, no one does. Not like I do, never-”

“Rot.”

[smallblueboyscout]

NAME : Leo NICKNAME :   Leo  FACECLAIM :   It varies between Sleepy Ash, Leo, and Vanitas, tho i might do a shift because Kuro is my muse and we have a leo and i dont wanna confuse people PRONOUNS :   it varies. ill keep yall posted HEIGHT :  No BIRTHDAY : December 5th AESTHETIC :  Pink and blue. Specifically those soft rose pinks, the rose quartz lookin pink. Like the stone rose quartz, not the character rose quartz, tho her pink is about what im talking about. And either dark ass blue or like, soft soft soft blue.  LAST  SONG  YOU  LISTENED  TO : Deathly Loneliness Attacks. It’s a big mood for me. I’ve also been listening to My R, because it’s also a mood. FAVORITE  MUSE (S)  YOU’VE  WRITTEN : Jon, Licht (I CANT HELP IT. HES SO DAMN FUNNY), and Yamanbagiri Kunihiro 

         * GETTING  TO  KNOW  THE  ACCOUNT :

WHAT  INSPIRED  YOU  TO  TAKE  ON  THIS  MUSE :

^^;;; I really only took him on because someone had reserved Damian so I was like “fuck it, I’ll app Jon!”. He outlived my damian muse and has weirdly become popular. Seriously what is wrong with you people?? Why??? i don’t understand....

WHAT  ARE  YOUR  FAVORITE  ASPECTS  OF  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE :  

His kindness tbh. He wanted to protect people when he was a small child. He’s been through more than some people know and he still doesn’t want to turn a blind eye to ANYONE suffering. He’ll take bullets for bad guys who just got done kicking his ass, even when he doesn’t have his powers to protect him. 

His priorities. In Adventures of the Supersons, Jon is kidnapped and dragged far from home and across space. You know why he was mad?? Because it was ruining his summer. I love this kid. He’s such a kid! He’s a hero, yeah, But he’s ten. All he wanted was to train and have fun and become the best crime fighting duo with Robin and the “gang” ruined it. He was livid they got in the way of his summer plans.

And honestly??  He was an easy character to me. I could understand him, I can write him, I read through his series without having to read 32 separate comics to understand him. Sure I probably still need to read a few more featuring him, but what I have read is easy enough for me to understand.

WHAT’S  YOUR  BIGGEST  INSPIRATION  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  WRITING :

My mood, my partner’s reply, general stuff like that. If I’ve reread the thing, it probably makes my muse a tad stronger for a bit, but. Shrugs.

FAVORITE  TYPES  OF  THREADS :

Fluff. For the longest time in the homestuck fandom, it was angst all the time, and drama. It was too much. I’ve gotten into an argument with Ash about it once or twice because all he wanted to do was angst. it used to not be a problem, but after the Homestuck RPC, it was almost unbearable. That isn’t to say I don’t mind angst, but I prefer to be talked to ahead of time, because it can stress me out quickly. 

BIGGEST  STRUGGLE  IN  REGARDS  TO  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE :

My insecurity for one. It’s gonna sound silly but I worry often that because there’s only like 3 Jon muses, that people only interact with me because they want a Jon, any Jon will do. I’m no expert on DC. I’ve never actually read a DC comic until I decided to make Jon’s blog. I also worry about my sentence structure being too like... choppy?? But I don’t know how to improve. I’m just, a ball of insecurity and paranoia. I try to keep it from getting in the way of my replies, but it’s there. 

My in general real life stuff. My medication makes it hard to focus a lot, work gives me long hours and the customers are a nightmare that can kill any mood quickly. I’ve considered bringing my laptop to work so I can do some replies during lunch but I have no where to put it and I don’t trust people not to steal it. I also get really tired despite the insomnia and can fall asleep a lot earlier than I want. I never sleep for long, though. 

Really, because of these things, I’m always so grateful for people sticking with me and tolerating my slow ass and my forgetfulness and stuff, ya know? For whatever reason, yall have decided Jon is the most popular muse I write, and I have more threads for him than any other muse, and it’s... shocking. I’ve never been so warmly welcomed before or popular. I know this isn’t the spot for it but I wanted to end this with a small thank you to everyone I’ve interacted with and anyone who’s even wanted to plot with me. It means more than you know.

Tagged by: Stole it from @pseudcsuper

Tagging: idk man steal it from me??

[2ptonpt]

You Look Happier

Masterlist 

This work is technically part five of a seven part series based on songs from Ed Sheeran’s album, Divide. This chapter and “I was Happier with You” can be read without the other chapters though.

Rami x Reader

Word Count: 3,120

Thirty days. Thirty days, twelve hours, and fifteen minutes since he had watched you walk out of your shared apartment. He tried not to recall the exact second you walked out. How utterly defeated and ruined you looked as you turned away broke his heart, but he didn’t have the courage to try to fix it.

He’d been walking down the street to O’Reilly’s for a couple drinks with some old Mr. Robot cast-mates when he looked up from his shoes and noticed you and Joe about thirty feet ahead of him. Joe had his arm wrapped around your waist, hand in your back pocket. Where his used to rest. Rami chastised himself briefly before shifting his eyes from your jean-clad back pockets to the rest of your frame. He couldn’t see your face from his point of view, but he could tell from the way you carried yourself that you were in a much better state from when he last saw you. You looked happier.

He realized too late that you and Joe were headed into O’Reilly’s as well. He slowed his steps, making sure you two didn’t see him. He skidded to a stop as Joe pulled at your back pocket with his hand, throwing you into a quick spin as he captured your lips in a quick, chaste kiss before he opened the door for you. You laughed loudly, the laugh that made Rami’s insides melt. That sharp, bark of a laugh escaped from you when you found something obnoxiously funny; like the pocket spin. How many times you had mentioned to him that you were in love with that scene from that movie your cousin was in. He had been listening, always planning on trying it with you, but never got the chance. 

Joe pulled out a chair for you at a table for two at the far corner of the bar. Rami watched from the doorway as a waiter came and took your orders. As he left, Joe leaned over and whispered something in your ear. You covered your mouth with your hand to cover a blush and Rami couldn’t help but notice the pale line wrapping around your ring finger where his ring used to sit. You removed your hand before he could dwell on it any longer and the two of you shared a smile. You and Joe giggled for a moment before erupting in loud laughter, grabbing the attention of some of the other patrons. You both looked so God damned happy. He was trying to remember the last time you and him had looked that happy, but was having a hard time at the heaviness taking over his fond memories of your long relationship.

How could he have hurt you like he did? He didn’t mean any of it. Honestly.

~*’*~*’*~*’*~

Bohemian Rhapsody star Rami Malek; a CHEATER??

Marvel actress YFN YLN stays quiet about the Malek/Boynton affair.

Malek neither confirms nor denies allegations of affair with Bohemian Rhapsody co-star, Lucy Boynton.

Lucy and Rami seen together shopping at CARTIER. Where is YN???

@ighandle1: I can’t believe he would do this?! He seems so sweet! Lucy a lil hoe.

@ighandle2: She needs to dump his ass. She can do soooo much better.

@ighandle3: I doubt Rami would do this, he’s too sweet and Lucy and YN seemed like they got along from their instagrams. He and YN are perfect for each other. I hope you can work it out @ramimalek @itsyagirlynn

@ighandle4: With YN’s reputation before she started dating him I thought she’d be the cheater. But I’m not surprised. People suck. Karma’s a bitch, @ramimalek. @itsyagirlynn im single ;)

You were physically sick just looking at your phone. You always knew that being an actress would have its trying times with the press and social media, but you never thought that you’d be caught up in a disaster like this. You figured you’d accidentally leak a Marvel secret like Mark or Tom. There was the short-lived rumor between you and fellow co-star Sebastian Stan; but honestly, you two had been quick to shut down those nasty rumors.

Even Cam - Sebastian’s wife and fellow Marvel actress - had released a statement, tagging you, Rami, and Sebastian, stating that every single rumor was false and no one could convince her otherwise that one of her best friends could or would cheat on her with her own husband. And how obviously in love you and Rami were. The picture she posted was of you and Rami behind the scenes of your engagement photo shoot.

You had been very outspoken during the whole Sebastian rumors, responding to the earlier rumors with satire. A cheeky, clearly staged photo of you and Seb hugging tightly as Cameron glared at the two of you with her arms crossed over her chest in the background. You were all in your respective outfits for the Marvel Short you were filming for that day. Rami wasn’t a part of that particular impromptu photoshoot, but made sure to comment an equally funny response to your caption.

@itsyagirlynn: miss steal yo man! @imcammystan Americans do it better! Aussies stink!

@ramimalek: Baby, @itsyagirlynn why you do me so cold?  Though tbh how could I compare to THE Winter Soldier? @imsebastianstan, @imcammystan I warned you about her! She’s crazy!

@imcammystan: What ever will I do?! :’( Guess @anthony_mackie will have to keep me company from now on.

@imsebastianstan: Can’t everyone just get along. There’s enough of me to go around. Except for you @anthony_mackie, you get none of this.

@anthony_mackie: I mean I won’t say no @imcammystan. Ya snooze ya lose @imsebastianstan. @itsyagirlynn, why don’t you come to the real winners here?

You blew air out of your nose, recalling how much Rami and your co-stars had laughed that night at dinner after you were done on set. The media and fans were having a field day with it. Your small smile faded from your lips after a few breaths. That had been over year ago. Things were different then. Rami had just been called back for the casting of Freddie for Bohemian Rhapsody. The fans and media knew nothing about the movie yet. Things had been simpler then. You had been engaged for about a year, with no wedding date set in stone due to both of your busy schedules but that hadn’t bothered either of you.

Of course you knew that the allegations were false. Rami would never cheat on you. You would never cheat on him. Hell, you had admitted to feeling sick every time you had to kiss someone on camera. To your relief, Rami had the same reservations about on-screen romances. Not to mention, Lucy had quickly become one of your closest friends while you tagged along on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody; your contract for Marvel easing up a bit until twenty-twenty.

You thought fondly about all the beautiful memories you had of everyone involved in your life during the past year. Late nights with Rami, Ben, Joe, Gwil, and Lucy that turned into mornings… Impromptu jam sessions with the Roger Taylor and Brian May… Naps with Joe, Gwil, and Ben as Rami and Lucy shot their Mary and Freddie scenes. It was probably one of the best years of your life, besides the year that Rami had nervously admitted his feelings towards you. You’d made new friends, and learned a lot about one of your favorite bands. It was heaven. That was, until it wasn’t.

About halfway through the press tours for your fiancée’s newest movie, rumors had started circulating about Rami and Lucy. You knew they were just that - rumors. But what had bothered you most about the whole thing was the absolute silence coming from Rami. In private, behind closed doors and between friends, he was very vocal about the fact that Lucy and he were just friends. You had no doubt in that; but on social media and during interviews Rami was very tight-lipped and shy about the whole ordeal. To be honest you were a little miffed about his whole persona in the public eye.

You had been very vocal all over social media and the press interviews about how absurd the rumors about you and Seb had been. Why couldn’t he do the same? You knew his anxiety got the best of him sometimes, but he usually was good about supporting you and backing you up with anything; press-related or not. The fact that Rami had been quieter than normal was unnerving.

You had voiced your concerns to Joe, since he had kept in contact the most since the boys had finished press tours. He only lived a few blocks down from you and Rami, so he was over at your apartment often. You had known him for years, you’d met during your sophomore year of high school after you’d moved from Brooklyn to California for your dad’s job. You had stayed in touch over email and phone ever since, reconnecting when you moved back to Brooklyn after you finished filming your first Marvel film. In fact, he’d been the one to introduce you to Rami on the set of The Pacific years ago.

He’d been very supportive of you and Rami, if not a little reserved about the whole ordeal. He didn’t believe that Rami was cheating, but agreed with you on the opinion that he should at least deny any rumors. You took his opinion to heart, especially after what happened with his ex and his best friend; he didn’t take cheating rumors lightly. Lucy had been quiet about the whole ordeal too, but you didn’t want to bother her. She was dealing with her own husband and getting ready for her first child at the moment.

You had tried to talk to Rami multiple times about how you felt about his silence on the matter, but he always repeated that he didn’t really feel comfortable talking about rumors to the public. It wasn’t really their business. You had agreed at first, but the itching feeling at the back of your head as to why he wouldn’t even post something small about it - personally dispelling the rumors – wouldn’t leave you alone.

You were hurt, as much as you hated to admit it, that Rami wouldn’t stick up for your relationship like you felt he should. Weren’t you worth it? You had some anxiety as well about dealing with the short comings of being famous, but you felt like you handled them well. You would never dream about letting someone you loved deeply come under back lash about any nasty rumors. Yet it seemed Rami didn’t feel the same way.

It had been six months since the rumors started, and your phone was still exploding with abhorrent comments and tags about the whole thing. You couldn’t take it anymore. You had already asked Joe and Seb for help. Cam had wanted to assist, but she was out of town filming for an Agents of SHIELD episode. The boys had quickly moved all of you essential belongings out of your shared Brooklyn apartment that you had shared Rami for the past seven years. He was at a photo shoot for Hugo Boss that morning so you’d had plenty of time to pack up.

You’d left any framed photographs of you two, including your engagement photos adorning the hallway walls leading to your master bedroom and study. You couldn’t bear to take them with you. Despite what some would think, the last thing you wanted to do was leave Rami. But you couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t stick up for you. It just wasn’t healthy. You two had been through a lot together. You shared more happy times than sour; but no matter how many times you’d argued about this the last six months, you couldn’t come to terms with each other.

Joe and Sebastian had left you alone at your apartment about twenty minutes ago. You had passed the time scrolling through your social media accounts and returning emails. Eventually you heard the door unlock. You stood abruptly from the couch and smoothed your baggy t-shirt before stepping into Rami’s open arms. The stiffness in your posture immediately notified Rami that something was wrong.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He dropped the folder of printed contracts he had received after his photoshoot and gripped your shoulders soothingly, pressing a hard kiss to your forehead. His strong hands ran over your shoulders, up your neck, before tangling in your hair. You squeezed your eyes shut at the contact. You didn’t say anything as you twisted your engagement ring off your finger and pulled his hands away from your shaking shoulders. You pressed the ring into his palm before forcing his tanned hands to close around it.

“I can’t do this anymore Rami.” His shoulders sagged with defeat. He didn’t need to ask you what you were talking about. He knew. He wished he hadn’t seen it coming. Wished he hadn’t hurt you this badly. But he had, and he didn’t know for the life of him why he let things go this far. You pressed a sorrowful kiss to his pouted lips before letting go of his clenched hands and backed away. You grabbed your purse and walked to the door. Opening it, you waited with a bated breath for him to say something – anything - to try and stop you from leaving. But it never came. You couldn’t stop the gut-wrenching sob that forced its way up your throat and past your lips as you closed the familiar oak door.

~*’*~*’*~*’*~

He clenched his eyes shut as he leaned against the doorway of the bar. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and blinked his eyes back into focus. It was Carly. She had a heavy brow and a slight frown marring her lips. Her eyes followed to where Rami’s had been when she’d caught him frozen in the doorway from her seat.

“We can meet another time, Rami. It’s no biggie.” She waited for Rami to reply, but all she got was a slight nod. He didn’t make eye contact as he shuffled his way out the glass door, but Carly had not missed the unshed tears that were gathering in his green eyes. She glanced over toward YN and Joe at their corner table, giggling softly at Joe’s phone. She wished she knew what exactly had happened between those two. Rami and YN had so clearly been head over heels for each other when he took her on set of Mr. Robot. She didn’t think that Rami was at all capable of cheating, but he was very tight-lipped about anything regarding his personal life and the tabloids that she didn’t know what to think one way or another.

Rami had stopped by the liquor store a few blocks from his apartment before making himself walk up the stairs to what used to be YN and his home. He was trying to prolong the inevitable – that he didn’t want to return home. Home. He didn’t even really consider his apartment home anymore. The only thing that had made it home was YN. Before he even removed the keys from the knob, Rami had twisted off the cap of the handle of Jack and took a long, burning gulp of the whiskey. He tore the keys out and let them fall to the floor, flinching slightly at the loud slam of the heavy front door.

Taking another drink, he flopped onto the black couch and cradled the Jack in his arms. He found if he kept perfectly still with his eyes closed, he could almost ignore the mournful voice in his head trying to comfort him. The voice wasn’t a familiar one, rather a compilation of all his friends’ voices over the past month trying to reassure him that everything would be okay. That he would move on with someone too, eventually.

Truth was he didn’t want to move on. He hadn’t even taken any of your old things to the Women’s Shelter yet. All of the photos of you two together or with groups of friends and family still adorned the walls and shelf spaces throughout the house. Your engagement ring still sat on the coffee table in front of him; he had placed it there the day you left. He had been looking at it every night, trying not to recall the night he proposed with it, but just like every other night, today was no different. He couldn’t help the flood of memories wash over him as he recalled the night about a year ago when he had asked you to be his wife.

~*’*~*’*~*’*~

You two had been snuggling on the couch nearly all day; before the couch, it had been your bed. You’d gotten home from filming last night and hadn’t left Rami’s sight since he picked you up from the airport. You were on your fourth Disney movie – and Rami’s favorite – which happened to be Beauty and the Beast. You were almost asleep when your favorite scene came on. You found yourself singing along to Tale as Old as Time softly with Rami whispering it in your ear.

After the first verse, Rami shifted and stood, pulling you up with him. He started the all too familiar dance in the middle of your living room, humming and singing into your ear the whole time. His hands found their way to your sides halfway through the song. You’d stopped singing; choosing instead to bask in the sweet I love you’s and You’re perfect’s that Rami had been whispering.

As the song ended you pulled away slightly. You were sure if anyone had seen you, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and baggy sweats, they would describe you as making heart eyes at Rami. He blinked a couple times before reaching behind the couch cushion and pulling out a small black box. Your heart jumped out of your chest as he stepped closer to. As he started opening the box and went to bend down, you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to you, smashing a sloppy, tear-filled kiss to his lips.

“YES! Rami, yes!”

“I didn’t even ask anything yet!”

“I already know what you’re gonna ask! And the answer is yes!” Rami smiled and laughed, not even bothering to kneel down. He slid the perfectly sized, simple princess cut diamond on your left ring finger and kissed you, the salty tears from both of you intermingling over your connected lips.

He loved you so fucking much. He was positive no one else could ever love you like he did.

[4lexturn3rs]

𝒮𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 - 𝑅𝑒𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒴𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Alex's P.O.V

I had all the symptoms; I was speaking in rhyme; I was crying candy hearts, and my teeth ached from the sweetness of her kiss. There was no denying it. I was lovesick. I can't sleep at night and when I try, she's all I dream about. She fills every space in my brain and I'm sure the boys are getting tired of my constant rambling, but I can't help it.

I always think of something to say but all that comes out is "did I tell you about how Maude..." She probably....not probably definitely didn't talk about me like I talked about her, I know that despite the way she looked at me, she still thought I was just gonna use her, probably for song purposes or summat like that. I'm not gonna lie, she was helping the writer's block I'd been having, but it wasn't like that at all, I knew I had done it in the past because those numbers the entirety of Britain can't get over... well they meant nothing to me. 505. It wasn't anything significant to me. They were numbers. 521. Now those numbers, those meant everything to me. They were what consumed my dreams...and my nightmares.

I hated her being there, in my nightmares I mean, she was always telling me how much she hated me and how she wished she never met me. The thing that scared me most is that it had happened with other girls...many other girls.

I'm such an arse when I'm drunk so when she told me I passed out a wave of relief passed through my body, I knew that if she had not wanted to kiss me when I was pissed that night, I probably would have said something to shatter her heart into a million pieces, and that's what's scared me most about this girl, she was already hurt, deepening that cut would send her right over the edge...and I knew I could.

Mallory's P.O.V

"Maude, get up we're going to the store!" I screamed from my room down the hall "WE?! WHO THE FUCK IS WE? IM NOT LEAVING MY ROOM TODAY" she shouted back "yes you are, and you're going to take those cups out of here because we only have two in the cupboard" I replied softly opening her door to find her hanging off the edge of her bed doing a crossword "how do you spell conundrum" she looked at me upside down " N-E-R-D that's how" I grinned back at her "whatever I'll be over here broadening my vocabulary, you can stick with your lol's and your omg's" she shot at me with a smile that looked a frown due to the angle of her head "I will thank you very much" I remarked at her as she shot up and the colour came back to her face.

If it weren't for Maude, I would probably be a woman of the night. Shagging random blokes for a few bucks doesn't sound too bad to me. Maude and I met in year 10 (freshman year) I had already lost my virginity by then, granted I shouldn't have, but I did and it wasn't like I could go back. I was the stupid one in the group. Maude was 21, a host on Popworld (and basically anything Channel 4) and still did part-time uni.

I'm not sure how she managed to do it all she was the hardest worker I'd ever met. All while I was 22, I had only done a few modelling gigs, but I had a ton of followers on my space so that's all I had, really. Of course, being internet famous had its perks, like meeting Matt.

Right, Matt, lets talk about that instead. Matt is the world to me, the whole world without him I would still be with Charlie Cheater, that's the name Maude and I came up with, this guy Charlie would fight with me and then kiss slags right in front of my face while he gave me side-eye, because he knew the power he had over me, he knew I wouldn't leave, but I did thanks to Matt. I met Matt, and we became amazing friends Matt told me that I shouldn't let him do this to me and all that soppy stuff, but I knew Matt was right, so I did, I left him, and I'm glad I did.

"Right then, are we leaving or what?" I heard a grainy voice come from behind me "I knew you would come" I smiled back at her. "Don't ever assume anything about me, I'll break your heart Mallory?" she said, taking the piss, something she did quite often but didn't bother me cause I was the same way.

"What are you getting out of this, I know there's something" I tilted my head in a demeaning way that I knew she hated "1) stop looking at me like I'm a shelter dog 2) I know you like to shop in Sheffield, so I texted Al-" "Al? You're calling him Al now?! Just the other day you couldn't stand him now you can't even be arsed to say his full name?!" I interrupted causing her to purse her lips at me and cock her eyebrows at my remarks "look, I don't suspect it'll go too far but it's worth a try, aren't you happy for me?"

Something in her face changed when she asked me. She was letting her guard down to me after five fucking years she was letting me in. Thank you, Alex Turner! "Of course I am Maude why wouldn't I be, I just don't want you to get hurt and honestly I don't think Alex or Al as he is to you, would hurt you alright, so don't go into this with all your walls up but don't let it all down either, I love you and I don't wanna see you hurt," I said softly "whatever mom" she snapped back, there was my Maude, but I couldn't let her brush what I said off so I grabbed her wrist as we walked out the door "babes, I'm not joking," I said sternly "I know Mal I'm sorry, but when have I ever been the type to let all my emotions spill out" she gave that demeaning look that I had given earlier "yeah, yeah, I'll back off," I said throwing my hands in the air "off we go then?" She smiled at me "off we go!" I said, doing her job and taking the piss.