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css1992 · 3 years

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Guilty Pleasure

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X / Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

Almost two months after moving out of Beck’s place, Peter was able to rent an apartment in the same building as Ned and MJ. It was tiny, of course, but pretty inexpensive, compared to other options he found around that area. Besides, with the money he made with Just4Fans over those few weeks, he would be able to afford it comfortably for at least a few months – largely thanks to YKWIM. He still planned on saving up as much as possible, so he put a lot of effort into making his account grow and it was working – by the end of April, he was up to five hundred subscribers.

He didn’t check to see what Beck was doing, he was too afraid to look and see him with his new boyfriend, but he got lots of comments from his old fans, who still followed Beck, telling him that the new boy had nothing on him. Again, he didn’t dare to check, but the ego boost was nice, even if he didn’t really believe them. Also, he was down to crying once every two days instead of every other day, so he was counting that as a win as well.

His apartment was still pretty empty, specially because he spent most of his time downstairs at his friends’ place, but he decorated the bathroom and his room to the best of his ability, since they would be the background of pretty much all his videos and pictures. He also bought some new lingerie sets, a few costumes and sex toys he wasn’t even sure how to use, but he was slowly figuring them out.

Aside from decorating his room and the bathroom, he also bought an armchair and placed it by the window with a couple of pillows. It was a nice spot to spend the afternoon reading or working on his computer. The light in that apartment was great, sunlight streamed right into his living room and warmed it up nicely. As they approached the end of April, the weather was getting better everyday.

Some days, he felt happy. He felt okay with the fact that he was still doing porn and that it wasn’t a terrible crime. Sure, it wasn’t what he had planned to do with his life, but he was young, he would eventually figure things out. For the time being, he needed that gig and he couldn’t beat himself up for it. Also, it wasn’t so bad now that he was only doing solo stuff.

Some other days, though, were just – hard. He remembered all the videos that were still online and he felt awful for the sole reason that they existed. Not so much for the ones he filmed with Beck, he was somewhat okay with those, the guy was his boyfriend after all, they had sex anyway, the only difference was the camera in the room. But the other ones…

When he started filming with other men, it quickly turned into an unpleasant experience for him. He hated every second of it and always ended up feeling guilty, used and disposable at the end of the day. Beck didn’t make it any better with the way he looked at him afterwards as he told him to get in the shower.

He wasn’t entirely sure of the reasons why those videos bothered him so much, sometimes it felt like it wasn’t even him in them. It was like he was watching a different person, he looked at himself and felt completely dissociated from that boy – at the same time, he looked at him and he knew – he knew – exactly what he was feeling when those were shot.

But that was a lot to unpack and he just wasn’t ready for that particular crisis.

So in short, sometimes he was still a little unsure about how long he would be able to keep his Just4Fans account, because even though most days he didn’t feel too weird about it, sometimes it reminded him of things he preferred to forget. But that was fine, he was usually able to work around that. Also, most of his subscribers were great and didn’t make him feel like a cheap whore, so he had that going for him as well.

YKWIM was one of the good ones. They chatted almost daily, and Peter always sent him exclusive pictures and videos just because. He never posted those pictures on his feed once he sent them to him, it was their little secret. In return, he got his own collection of short videos of YKWIM finishing himself off. He didn’t know much about the person behind the videos, he’d taken to calling him daddy because most of his subscribers seemed to like it and YKWIM never complained, so it stuck.

Peter did know he lived in New York – which made him shiver – and that he was a businessman of some kind, but he also always talked about a workshop, so Peter wasn’t sure and he avoided asking personal questions. He worked most of the day and into the night, they usually talked when it was late, always around two in the morning.

He traveled a lot, too, and sometimes sent Peter small clips of his hotel rooms or the view from his balcony. In return, Peter sent him pictures of his messy bedroom and the horrible view from his window as a joke. It was nice talking to him, he always made Peter laugh – and then it often ended with a very satisfying orgasm that put him right to sleep, which was awesome.

Peter estimated YKWIM was older than Beck, but not by too much. He clearly had a fit body, which at first led him to believe he was in his thirties, at most; but he noticed YKWIM sometimes talked about the 80’s like he lived them, so he had to be at least in his forties, but Peter couldn’t be sure. He really wished he would show his face, though, it would be nice to have one to fantasize about. But then again, maybe it would ruin the whole thing.

One afternoon, after Peter spent hours taking pictures, shooting videos and editing them so he could post them over the following week, he got a message from YKWIM. He hurried to check it and was shocked to see that he had sent him yet another tip – forty thousand dollars this time.

“For you to buy pretty things so you can show them off to me.” Said the message that came with the money.

Peter almost dropped his phone when he saw it. It had been only five weeks since his last insane tip, so that made fifty thousand dollars in just a little over a month. For, like, thirty nudes. Who even was that guy?

“Wow, daddy, that’s way too much!” He added a flushed face emoji, for lack of something better to say. He was honestly feeling a little overwhelmed, even if the guy had millions to spend, there was no way just giving someone that amount of money was normal.

“That’s not nearly enough for what you’ve given me, baby.” Peter’s cheeks burned.

“I’m very flattered, but please, I really don’t think I deserve all this.” He was pretty sure he sounded pathetic, but that was how he felt, so. Yeah.

“Oh, but you do. Trust me, you really, really do. You’re worth every penny.” Peter bit his lower lip, a little unsure and still a little shocked.

“At least tell me what you’d like to see from me, please. Do you have any kinks that you’d like me to perform? Don’t be shy.” He asked, even though it always made him nervous to offer that kind of thing. Sometimes people were just waiting for the perfect opportunity to make the weirdest requests.

But, to be fair, he had been talking to YKWIM for over a month, so he somewhat trusted him not to ask for anything too absurd. And then again, the guy had just paid him forty thousand dollars.

“Well, if you insist...” Here it comes, Peter thought, bracing himself. “Red and gold are my favorite colors. I’d love to see you wearing them.” Oh. Not what he was expecting at all.

“Done! Anything else? Come on, there’s gotta be something else.” Again, risky move. But again, forty thousand dollars.

“I’d love to hear you. You’re always so quiet in your videos. If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear you call my name.” The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end at that request. It sounded… almost sweet? It obviously wasn’t meant like that, it was completely sexual, but out of all the wild things he could have asked for, he wanted to hear Peter call his name.

“What’s your name, daddy?”

“Tony.” Tony. Peter tested the word out on his tongue, saying it out loud once, twice. Tony. It suited the image he had created in his head. Tony.

“I can definitely do that, Tony. Anything else?”

“Buy yourself something pretty and send me a picture wearing it. Nothing sexual. Something you’d wear to a date with me.” Peter’s breath hitched. He supposed it was probably just a weird, rich people kink or something, but his mind went wild anyway. Very, very wild.

“I don’t know what I’d wear to a date with you, daddy. Any advice?”

“I like expensive and beautiful things such as yourself, baby.”

Normally, Peter wouldn’t appreciate being called expensive, like he was a thing to be bought, but he felt weirdly flattered by the answer. He promised YKW – Tony – he would send everything he requested over the next few days, and he was actually excited about the whole thing. And of course he knew that feeling was trouble, there were warning signs flashing like crazy before his eyes, but he ignored them and convinced himself that he was just having fun and he was allowed to have fun if he was going to keep doing porn. He didn’t have to feel miserable and guilty all the fucking time. He could – and should! – take some pleasure from it. He deserved it.

So the following day he asked MJ to go shopping with him, but he still didn’t tell her the whole story, he just said it was for his Just4Fans and she readily agreed to go. They went to Victoria’s Secret and Peter told her what he had in mind.

“So, how’s the job going? You’re doing okay? Not too overwhelmed?” She asked coolly as they searched through the panties section.

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s different when I’m in control, you know? Like, I know my limits and I don’t need to count on other people to respect them. Well, most of the time. So it’s cool.”

Some subscribers were a little pushy sometimes, asking for things Peter wasn’t willing to do and then getting really aggressive after being told no. But it didn’t affect him as much as it did when Beck ignored his boundaries, because those pushy subscribers could be easily blocked, whereas with Beck, well. It was a different story.

“Don’t ever feel like you need to push your limits, okay?” Michelle stopped what she was doing to grab him by the shoulders and force him to look at her. “If you ever feel like stopping, for whatever reason, just do it. No matter what, you’ll always have me and Ned, understand? We’re family, we’re here for you, we’d never leave you alone. If you want to stop, we’ll figure something out together, you hear me?” The way she looked into his eyes made him understand that she really meant every single word of it.

Family. He had a family with them.

Peter felt silly tearing up in the middle of Victoria’s Secret, so he pulled her into his arms and hid his face in her neck.

“Thank you. I needed to hear that,” he muttered, as she squeezed him a little tighter, before pushing him away.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get all teary-eyed on me, come on, you’ll ruin my reputation.” She looked around, sniffing, then stuck her hands in her pockets. Peter laughed halfheartedly, drying the corner of his eyes. “C’mon, there are panties to be bought.”

They spent a couple of hours searching the store, but in the end he found the perfect set. He bought some other pieces, too, for his feed, people had been asking for lingerie a lot lately, after a slightly weird phase of cat ears and tails. Once they left Victoria’s Secret, Peter was nervous because he had to tell MJ at least part of the truth to get her help with the second part of Tony’s request.

“So, listen,” he started and she turned to him, happily sipping her large coffee as they walked down the street. “I have this subscriber. He’s, like, a rich, old dude who always sends me tips and stuff. Anyway, he gave me some money and asked me to buy something nice and pose for him, but like, not in a sexual way. He wants to see me clothed.” She frowned, staring at him suspiciously. “Um. I was wondering if you could help me with that?”

She was silent for a few seconds, just looking at him with narrowed eyes. He looked away discreetly, trying to avoid her mind-reading skills.

“Should I be worried?” She asked, finally. He shook his head and chuckled nervously, waving a hand dismissively.

“He’s harmless, just some lonely, old dude. So, will you help?” He looked at her expectantly. She was still frowning and definitely knew something was up, but she nodded anyway, to Peter’s relief.

“What do you have in mind?” MJ asked and resumed her stroll down the street, Peter had to jog a little to keep up.

“Something expensive and beautiful,” He quoted Tony, like an idiot, because he honestly had no idea what that meant.

“That’s oddly specific and somehow not helpful at all.” She lifted an eyebrow and looked around the busy street. “How expensive are we talking about?”

“I’m not sure. Very?” He answered nervously, and, yet again, she looked looked like she wanted to rip the truth out of him, but she also knew that was not the way to go with him.

“How much did this guy give you?”

“Um. for – five thousand dollars.” He stuttered. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her the actual amount, because it sounded absolutely insane and she would worry unnecessarily.

“Holy shit!? Fuck, why aren’t I doing porn?!” She screeched and Peter hurried to put his hands over her mouth, because at least three people turned around to look at them.

“Don’t even joke about that, you hear me? You have a bright future ahead of you, don’t fuck it up,” he told her seriously and she looked like she wanted to argue just for the sake of being annoying, but something in the way he looked at her must have made her realize he meant it.

“Chill, I’m joking.” She patted his shoulder and looked away. “So. Five thousand dollars? We can work with that.”

He was a little scared of the weird gleam in her eyes, but followed her anyway.

They spent the rest of the afternoon shopping, it was a lot of fun and he even got her a pair of shoes she kept staring longingly at. She was worried they would go over the budget because she wanted him to save some of the money, but he assured her he could afford it. They managed to put together a great outfit that he was very confident about and then called Ned to meet them for dinner in the evening.

Later, they took the subway home and, for a while, he felt like a normal 20-year-old guy – happy, weightless and just a little heartbroken, like everyone was bound to be at some point in life. He was going to be okay, he realized. That thought hit him like a punch in the face and it felt fucking awesome.

He rested his head on Ned’s shoulder with a sigh of relief, feeling the warmth of MJ’s hand on his thigh.

It was around midnight when he got home, which for him was still a little early, he had developed the terrible habit of going to bed well after two in the morning – he blamed Tony, but to be fair, many of his subscribers were mostly active around that time as well. He debated whether or not he should start working on Tony’s requests, he was a little tired from a long day of walking around carrying bags, but also surprisingly eager to show the older man what he got for him.

He took the Victoria’s Secret bag and displayed the new outfit on the bed. It was a simple, but beautiful lingerie set. What Peter loved most about it was the fabric – it was made of deep red satin, smooth and glossy, and it felt simply amazing on the skin.

He decided to try it on, just to make sure it fit properly.

The top was a delicate bralette, two little triangles only big enough to hide his nipples and a little bit of his pecs. It was the perfect size for him, it sat flush with his skin, no unflattering cup gaps. The panties were tiny, Peter wasn’t too sure about those back in the store, he was worried not everything would fit in it. It did, but just barely, but it actually worked in his favor, in his humble opinion. Lastly, he put on the garter belt, which was just a thin piece of fabric that went around his waist, with two straps that hung down to clasp onto two elastic bands that went around his thighs.

Since Tony said red and gold, he also put on a thick, golden choker, just to see how it would look.

Once he was dressed, he went to check in the mirror. He bit his lower lip, running his hand over the fabric that covered his chest. It felt really smooth, and the way it brushed against his nipples sent shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes and imagined it was Tony’s hands on his body. They looked strong enough to hurt, but he imagined they would be gentle with him, as they traced a path from his collarbone to his neck, to wrap themselves around his throat – but not tight enough to choke him, just a promise.

He sighed, as if to check that he could still breath under the pressure, and slowly slid his hands down from his neck, brushing his hard nipples on their way down to the front of the panties – God, it was so smooth...

For some reason, he imagined Tony would be a gentle lover. Maybe it was the way he talked to him, always so charming, all sweetheart and baby, all praise and compliments. Maybe it was the way he never demanded anything, only asked nicely, all please and thank you.

Tony wouldn’t ruin him, like he promised so many times in those last few weeks, he would fuck him long and slow, raspy voice whispering sweet praise in his ear, rough hands holding him down, hips snapping with each unrelenting thrust.

He bit his lips, knees buckling as he felt the front of the panties getting wet, while his leaking cock struggled to get free.

Well, then.

He grabbed his camera from the closet and positioned it on a tripod in front of the bed, just a few feet away, and programmed it to take pictures every five seconds. He sat on the bed, facing the camera, feet still on the floor, and just closed his eyes for a minute, letting a sigh escape his lips as the fantasy from before filled his mind again.

He spread his legs and his fingers reached down to the front of his panties again. His cock felt impossibly hard, straining against the delicate fabric, dark pink tip peeking out of over the top of the tiny underwear. He touched himself slowly, hips rocking lightly to match the pace of his own hand, as he listened to the clicks of the pictures being taken.

He had to force himself to stop, before he lost control, and moved to kneel on the bed, with his side facing the camera, and lowered his chest until it was touching the mattress, letting his back curve in a sinful arch, head turned to the side, staring right at the lens. At Tony. Imagining what he would do if he were there.

He sat back on his heels and turned his back to the camera, spreading his knees, each of his hands grabbing one ass cheek, pulling them apart, only a thin, barely there strip of fabric hiding his nakedness. He looked over his shoulder and waited for the camera to take at least a couple of pictures.

Next, he laid on his back, side facing the camera again, left hand rubbing one nipple over the silky fabric, as the right one reached down the front of the panties, to finally give himself some sort of relief. He let out an almost pained moan as he wrapped a hand around his cock, pumping it slowly, once, twice, but all that teasing was driving him a little insane.

He knew he should probably take a few more pictures, but he also knew wouldn’t last much longer.

He got off the bed and went to the dresser where he kept all of his “work stuff”. He grabbed a tube of lube and a vibrator that was neither too small, nor too big, it was a size Peter was comfortable with.

He switched the camera to video mode, pressed record and resumed his position on the bed, knees on the bed, holding his lower body up, and chest resting on the mattress. He squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, pushed the panties a little to the side and circled his hole gently, slowly, because that was how he imagined Tony would do it. Those big, rough hands would have grabbed him by the hips, put him in that exact position, before teasing him mercilessly.

He moaned quietly and closed his eyes, rubbing slow circles around his rim, pressing a little against his entrance, but not hard enough to breach it. He felt his cock pulsing, begging for attention, but he didn’t dare to touch it, not yet.

“Tony, please...” He whined, pushing his hips back against his own hand, he was so lost in his fantasy he almost forgot he didn’t need to beg. Almost. “I need you...”

Gently, he started pushing one finger inside, knuckle by knuckle, he was so aroused he barely felt the burn, just delicious pressure that made his eyes roll to the back of his head. He started fucking himself on his finger, feeling the muscles around it slowly make way.

“’Been thinking about you, Tony…” he rasped out, hips pushing back against his hand. “Can’t stop thinking ‘bout you...” When he felt loose enough, he pushed another finger inside, the stretch becoming a little more noticeable as he slowly scissored himself open. He got on all fours and turned his back to the camera to give Tony a better view, all spread out for him, and kept fucking himself, picking up the pace once just those two fingers weren’t enough. “Fuck, daddy, need you so bad...”

He eased the fingers out of himself, sighing at the loss, and reached for the vibrator that was sitting on the bed and turned to face the camera again. He knelt on the bed and, with one hand, he propped the vibrator up on the mattress, holding it down from behind him, as with the other hand he guided its tip to his already abused hole.

He flicked the switch and it vibrated to life, nudging against his hole before finally slipping in. Peter’s breath hitched at the intrusion, feeling the delicious burn on his lower back, as he moved his hips up and down slowly, trying to push more of it inside with each painful thrust.

“Fuck me, Tony,” he begged, as his free hand finally reached for his neglected cock, pumping it hard and fast, matching the maddening pace his hips set. He lost all sense of rhythm when he felt the tip of the vibrator finally – finally – reach his prostate and he pushed it even further in, until the pressure against the bundle of nerves became too much and he exploded in one of the best orgasms he had had in a long, long time. “Oh, f-fuck!” His vision went dark for a second as he let himself fall back on the bed, wasted.

He spent almost ten minutes just lying there, trying to catch his breath and regain consciousness. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like that, he was boneless, floaty, completely satisfied. It was honestly the best he felt in months.

When his legs stopped shaking, he got up and headed straight to the shower, still feeling a little dizzy and weak, but he wasn’t complaining.

Once he was finished, he debated whether he should just go to bed or send Tony what he had, but with the way he was feeling, he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep so easily. So decided to send at least the pictures right away, even though it was nearing 3AM. Peter knew Tony was probably up, the man did say that he was an insomniac and that he sometimes went days without any real sleep, so it wasn’t a surprise when he answered just a few minutes after Peter sent them.

“Holy fuck, Peter!!” Peter bit his lower lip, burying his face in the pillow to hide his blush, even though he was alone in his room.“What the fuck, baby, it’s three in the morning, are you trying to fucking kill me?!”

“So you like them?” He asked with feigned innocence.

“I fucking love them, you little tease, these are hands down my favorites yet. I swear I’m gonna have them framed and hung in my workshop and I’ll spend the rest of my fucking days just writing odes to you.” Peter giggled into the pillow, turning on his side to get more comfortable on the bed.

“I bet you say that to all the boys.” He joked lightly, blushing again, which was stupid, but he couldn’t help it.

“Fuck no! You’re something else, kitten, and you don’t even know it.” Peter suppressed a smile, biting his lower lip.

“Are you touching yourself right now, daddy?”

“To be honest, I’m so fucking hard I think I’m gonna come instantly if I even brush my fingers on my cock. I’m literally just staring at the pictures right now and worrying I’m gonna come untouched just from that.” Peter laid on his stomach and bit the pillow, gently rocking his hips against the bed.

“That’s so hot. Can I see it?”

Seconds later, there was a video in the chat. He played it immediately and, sure enough, Tony wasn’t kidding. His cock was rock hard, throbbing, the head was an angry purple, already glistening with pre-cum. Tony was just holding it at the base, not daring to touch it, and the whole thing almost made Peter hard again, but he was really exhausted.

“Fuck, daddy, I really wish I could help you with that.”

“Oh, you don’t even know what I wish.”

Tony didn’t say anything for a few minutes and Peter figured he had gone to sleep, but then his phone beeped, alerting him to another message from him. It was, of course, a picture of Tony’s spent cock, resting against his belly, which was covered in come, so much of it Peter’s mouth watered.

“Was it good, daddy?”

“The best, sweetheart. Thank you. I’m gonna sleep like a baby today.” Peter chuckled. Tony always said that was high praise coming from someone who hardly ever slept and the younger man took his word for it.

“Goodnight, Tony. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Looking forward to it, Pete.”

He knew he was fucked the second he tried to suppress a small smile, but couldn’t.

#starker #peter parker x tony stark

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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years

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Jij Verliest - Chapter Three: Clip 2

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Zondag 18:25

When Robbe had seen the message pop up on his phone in the middle of his Saturday afternoon stream, it had taken nearly all of his willpower not to answer it right there. He had toyed with the idea—multiple times—of sending a message to Sander. But every time that Robbe typed up a message and nearly hit send, he would talk himself out of it and delete it altogether. Then, Robbe had seen the notification on his lock screen—earthlingoddity sent you a message—and, despite the fact that he had started the stream thirty minutes before, he had been ready to leap to the phone to respond.

Robbe managed to restrain himself from doing so, trying his best to focus on the stream and the chat while in front of the computer. Yet he didn’t even last an hour. Once his eagerness to read the message got the better of him, he announced that he was taking a break before immediately taking his phone in the other room. Despite the length of time that had passed between his text and Robbe’s response, Sander responded back immediately and their entire conversation made Robbe’s stomach swell.

So much so that he nearly forgot to go back to the stream.

From the moment that Robbe sat down at the table—the one next to the jukebox that Sander said he loved so much—he could feel the nervous bubble in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know why he was so nervous to meet Sander. It wasn’t the first time that he was alone with Sander. They had been short interactions, all interrupted by something or someone they couldn’t control, but they had been nice all the same. Yet he felt nervous; like he was sixteen all over again, heading out on his first date with the first guy he liked.

And it brought up another question—was this a date?

In every sense of the word, except for being labeled as such, it felt like a date. Robbe and Sander were two people meeting up at a bar to hang out, have a few drinks, and get to know each other. Since Wednesday, all of their conversations—especially their texts in the past 24 hours—had been flirtatious. Whenever Robbe thought about it, it felt like a date or, rather, a potential date. For all he knew, Sander simply wanted to hang out because they got along so well. Maybe he flirted with everyone.

When Sander arrived, dressed in a graphic shirt, a pair of skinny jeans that curved to his legs, and a blinding smile, Robbe felt his stomach clench a little. The bleach-blond headed over to the bar gracefully, where, as soon as he had stepped inside, the bartender had placed a beer on the counter. Sander waited until she served another then, moved to the table where Robbe was waiting and placed one of the glasses on the coaster in front of him.

“I hope a beer is okay,” Sander said, grinning at him.

“Yeah, it’s good,” Robbe replied, moving the glass closer to him.

There was a moment of silence that drew out in the space between them. It wasn’t like the silence that he experienced with Thomas, especially in the last months of their relationship, where it felt like someone was dragging their nails across a chalkboard. That silence was the kind that could make a minute feel like an hour, as Robbe teetered uncomfortably on scattered eggshells. With Sander, the silence felt warmer and more comfortable, as though both of them were unsure how to start, but there was an eagerness in the air like they couldn’t wait to begin.

Robbe took a sip of his beer, swallowing his nerves. “So,” he said. Sander glanced at him, raising his glass to his lips. Robbe searched for a question to ask, trying not to seem too invasive, before settling on. “How did you and Senne meet?”

“Let’s see,” Sander chuckled. There was a serious look on his face as he launched into the story. Robbe leaned forward to anticipation. “It was a month or two after he and Zoë split up. There was this little bakery near my apartment that I would always go to. One morning, I was rushing to get croissants for my step-mother as Senne was entering the store and you can imagine what happened.” Robbe laughed. “And, after that, we started talking when we were both in the store—the general stuff, studies, relationships. Then, we exchanged numbers. Once that happened, we were virtually inseparable and he quickly became my best friend.”

“That’s awesome,” Robbe commented. “I’m glad that he found a friend after leaving the flatshare.”

“Yeah, it’s been a fun time,” Sander said before asking, “Do you have a job on campus?”

Robbe shook his head. “No, I don’t,” he said. “I—” Robbe caught himself before he could continue, biting down on his bottom lip. Sander glanced up questionably and Robbe shook his head. “No, I don’t really have a job. My dad helps pay for my expenses and stuff.”

“That’s nice of him,” Sander said.

“Yeah, I think he might still feel guilty,” Robbe admitted.

“What for?”

As Robbe launched into the story about his father leaving his mother, he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about the white lie that he had told Sander.

Over the past two years of streaming full-time, he had grown used to the upturned noses, uncomfortable looks, and snide remarks about how he should “grow up.” There were people in the world who didn’t believe that Robbe could make a comfortable living by playing games on the Internet or liked to voice their opinions on his life. While Robbe knew he couldn’t do it permanently, at least at his current level, Robbe never felt comfortable hearing people rip into what he loved. Generally, he avoided talking about it until he knew someone better.

When Thomas had found out, back in their second month of dating, Robbe had been worried that he would react that way. But Thomas had surprised him. He had wanted to learn more about Fortnite and watched his streams in between classes and studying. Thomas had been one of the rare exceptions of the people he dated in that regard. If Sander launched into a tangent about what he was doing to get money for bills and expenses, Robbe wouldn’t know how to feel.

“That sucks,” Sander said, pulling Robbe out of his thoughts. His companion was staring at Robbe as he traced the rim of his glass with his pointer finger, the silver band glinting in the light of the bar. “I never had to go through a divorce so I can’t imagine how heavy that must’ve been.”

“Yeah,” Robbe admitted. “When my dad left, my mom crashed. I tried my best to be there for her, but I knew there was only so much I could do. I resented him for leaving us and then for trying to take me away from her. But since then, we’ve managed to repair our relationship a little.”

“That’s good,” Sander said. “Isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but it’s never going to be the way it was before,” Robbe said sadly. Seeing Sander’s soft gaze, those green eyes pointed directly at him, Robbe had to fight the blush growing on his cheeks and ducked his head down. “I don’t know. Sometimes I get nostalgic.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Sander said. He crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward. The song playing on the jukebox behind them ended and it let out a light buzz as it searched for a new song to play. Sander shrugged his shoulders as he turned to Robbe. “Sometimes I like to think about what might have happened if—”

Suddenly, a song broke out from the speakers. Sander cut himself off mid-sentence. For a second, it looked like something else washed over him. His head tilted back, letting out a content sigh, and Robbe simply watched him in curiosity. His eyes lingered on the beauty mark on his cheek and the mole on his neck. Then, as soon as it began, Sander snapped out of it and turned to him again. Robbe didn’t even register the embarrassment of being caught because Sander was speaking again, “Do you know David Bowie?”

“A little,” Robbe admitted.

Truth to be told, Robbe had heard of David Bowie before. One evening, Thomas had taken Robbe out to a small restaurant near the campus. While the two of them were talking, a song came on the radio that caused Thomas’s nose to twist up in disgust and a sneer covered his face. Soon after, Thomas had launched into a mini-rant about David Bowie and 80s music and how he hated the rift or the acoustic. Every time a particular song would come on, Thomas would launch into a discussion about it, ripping the song and its lyrics to shreds. Most times, Robbe would tune the majority of the rant out, trying to hone in on the song he hated so much. Since then, Robbe made sure to never bring up David Bowie or switch the station.

Even if he was enjoying the song.

“So,” Sander said, bringing him back. “By ‘a little,’ you mean ‘not at all.’”

“What? No, I do,” Robbe said, laughing.

“Okay,” Sander said, smirking at him. “Name three of his songs.”

“Okay, challenge accepted. Space Oddity,” Robbe listed off, holding up one finger. In the briefest of moments, Sander’s face lit up and his emerald green eyes somehow got brighter. “Life on Mars, and…” he trailed off, holding up a second finger. Robbe bit down hard on his lip, trying (and failing) to ignore the soft look on Sander’s face. “Ah, and Heroes.” As Robbe glanced over to him, the corner of Sander’s lips tugged up and Robbe leaned towards him. “How did I do?”

“Three out of three,” Sander said, grinning.

Robbe fist-pumped.

“I’m impressed,” Sander admitted, leaning toward him. “You don’t really strike me for a Bowie fan.”

“I’m not,” Robbe admitted. At his admission, Sander looked downright offended. Robbe felt his cheeks flush under Sander’s intense gaze and he quickly added, “At least, not really. I’ve heard a handful of his songs on the radio and I really liked them. But when it came to older music, specifically David Bowie, uh, my ex-boyfriend was always incredibly opinionated about it.”

There was a disgusted look on his face as Robbe took the final drink of his beer. “How opinionated?” Sander asked, curious.

“Bad opinionated,” Robbe admitted. He shrugged and leaned on the edge of the table. “Every time an 80s song would come on, he would launch into a rant about the acoustics or the lyrics of the particular song. I’m not sure if it was specifically 80s music, but that’s what he would say it was. And it would go on forever. From the way he was talking, you would have thought he was arguing a case in a courtroom, not talking about a song on the radio that he didn’t have to listen to.”

For a moment, Sander was quiet. His bright green eyes were staring at Robbe intensely, and Robbe couldn’t help the need to stare right back. As his brown eyes connected with Sander’s green ones, he felt the electric spark shoot through him again. Robbe bit down on his lip, refusing to look away as Sander continued. Then, Sander announced, “Well, your ex-boyfriend has bad taste.”

Robbe blinked, confused. “Huh?”

“What? He does,” Sander said, matter-of-factly. He twisted on his stool and grabbed his empty beer glass in one hand. Turning to Robbe, he held up one finger. “Firstly, he doesn’t like David Bowie or, as you say, ‘80s music,’ which is an automatic sign that he doesn’t have good taste.”

“I think your scale is a little biased,” Robbe said, grinning at him.

“Maybe a little,” Sander admitted, shrugging “But David Bowie is an amazing artist and what I wouldn’t give to have discovered him sooner.” Robbe chuckled, shaking his head. “And, secondly,” Sander added, holding up a second finger. “He broke up with you, right? From our talk the other day, you didn’t seem to actually want to end the relationship.”

“Yeah,” Robbe whispered. “He was the one that wanted to break up.”

“There you go,” Sander stated. He reached toward Robbe, grabbing the empty glass out of his hands. Robbe looked at him as Sander leaned closer to him, grinning from ear-to-ear. “No one with a good sense of taste would walk away from you. Your ex broke up with you. Therefore, even if he did like David Bowie, he couldn’t have good taste.”

Robbe swallowed, his stomach swelling unexpectedly. As his brain struggled to keep up with what Sander had just said, Robbe found himself struggling to keep the heat from rising to his cheeks.

With a knowing look in his eyes, Sander held up the glass that Robbe had relinquished. “Did you want a refill?”

“Yeah,” Robbe replied. When his voice cracked a little, he swallowed again. Thankfully, his voice didn’t crack as he added, “Yes, I would like a refill. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Sander grinned, sliding off the stool with ease. “I’ll be right back.”

Robbe nodded. As Sander moved to the bar, Robbe watched him without hesitation. Once Sander reached the bar and handed over the glasses, the bartender, an older woman with brown hair, quickly set to work with refilling the glasses. As the two of them talked, Robbe couldn’t tear his eyes away from Sander. Even if he wanted to, which he didn’t, Robbe couldn’t stop thinking about Sander and his confession. Quickly, Sander glanced over at him and smiled once he saw Robbe was looking.

Without thinking, Robbe returned the smile before shifting his attention elsewhere. As he focused on the nearby television, which was playing a football game, Robbe let out a shaky breath, trying to calm his nerves as one thought ran through his mind. Now, it definitely felt like a date.

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punk-tozier · 5 years

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Social Media famous Eddie and Bill au (part 1)

(Reddie/Stenbrough)

Part 2 Part 3

- okay so, if Tik Tok/Vine was around in the 80s you all know for a fact the losers would be all over that shit

- Richie LOVES making stupid videos of him yelling random shit, doing stupid stuff and pranking the others

- and Bev join in with Richie 90% of the time with the stupid videos

- they don’t get many views though, they have maybe 12 loyal followers

- but Eddie and Bill are the real famous ones

- Bill loves to make horror themed videos, like the ones you see with fake blood and spooky edits

- He also loves to tell horror stories/write short horror films

- Every week he does a story time where he tells a creepy story

- it’s either something he and the losers have witnessed or just something he made up

- the losers also star in his films, they’re all semi decent actors

- except Richie, he’s not allowed to be in them anymore because he can’t take himself seriously

- Stan thinks it’s stupid but loves his director boyfriend too much to say no

- All of Bill’s fans love Stan and quote the shit he says often

- on more than one occasion on Bill’s live shows the viewers get to overheard the best conversations between the losers

- this is because Bill likes to stream whenever they’re all at the club house because it produces the best content

- ‘Stanley why the fuck have you labelled everything in here’

- ‘I had a meltdown last week and that’s how it is now’

- Which was the first of many quotes Bill’s fans have stolen

- others include

- ‘Shut the fuck up before I end everyone in this room and then myself’

- and

- ‘Im friends with the biggest idiots in the world, HOW AM I NOT DEAD YET’

- let’s just say Stans a favourite in the Bill Denbrough community

- The viewers also have a conspiracy that Stan and Bill are dating, they are but they find it hilarious to see people argue about it

- ‘L-Look, someone in the chat said I’m obviously dating Eddie because of how much we make videos together

- ‘HAHAHA really? okay, tell Richie that’

- ‘Everyone now wants to know who R-richie is, look what you’ve done Stanley’

- Eddie has more fans than Bill so that comment obviously caused an uproar

- Eddie makes cute soft videos like outfit videos (he’s a Pastel queen) and aesthetic videos

- he also tells funny stories of the losers often

- ‘So today I was convinced to jump of a cliff’

- ‘Heres the story of how I got stuck in a hammock for 5 hours’

- ‘Today I want to tell you guys about the time Bill got stuck in a mirror maze’

- however most of his followers are just there too adore how cute he is

- Richie likes to also post comments about how adorable he is because he loves his cute as fuck boyfriend too much

- ‘Wow you are the cutest human ever’

- once in one of his aesthetic videos he had a short clip of him holding hands with Richie but the video just showed their hands

- This caused 50% of his fans to get jealous and the other 50% get super excited

- Richie also commented on that video

- ‘your boyfriend is so lucky’

- Eventually the amount of comments asking who Richie is got annoying so he posted a photo of them both

- the photo was one that Bev took of them holding hands but the shot was from behind so people still didn’t know exactly what Richie looks like

- this was 100% because Richie is insecure and doesn’t want to get bullied by jealous fans

- the photo got a lot of comments

- mainly people commenting about their height difference as Richie is 6’1 and Eddie is 5’6

- Bill also commented saying ‘omg I wonder who that could be lol’

- Which was a mistake on Bill’s part as he also began getting comments asking what eddies boyfriend looks like

- It got annoying fast so eventually Eddie managed to convince Richie to be in a video

- The video was basically a compilation of stupid shit Richie has done

- the video included but wasn’t limited too

- Richie falling out of the hammock at the club house

- The time he forgot his glasses and walked into a lamp post

- Him shouting ‘SUP FUCKERS’ whilst jumping down the stairs at the club house and immediately falling over

- Richie yelling ‘aaaaa’ whilst running to Eddie and hugging him with Eddie saying ‘I haven’t seen you for ONE day it’s not that dramatic’

- Eddies fans went from obsessing over him to obsessing over his boyfriend in a matter of hours

- Eddie likes to live stream in his bedroom and often does live Q&As

- the questions are usually about the losers because many of his and Bill’s fans are in love with the group as a whole but only get to watch them through Bill and Eddie

- so the questions are things like

- ‘What is Beverly’s social media’

- ‘Are Stan and Bill dating’

- ‘Is Mike a vegan’

- He often gets asked about Richie as well who is usually doing something stupid in Eddie’s room or sleeping

- ‘Richie someone asked you why you stuck duck tape to your arm last week’

- cue the camera panning to Richie standing on Eddie’s desk chair and trying to spin

- ‘It was funny and now my arm is SMOOTH AS FUCK’

- ‘HEY someone asked you how you get your hair so fluffy’

- this time the camera pans to Richie sleeping with his head on Eddie’s chest

- ‘??..blow dryer?’

AGAIN with the spelling mistakes, I’m sorry I have d y s l e x i a

Please add more, l love reading your additions

Also please request themes/aus, I love writing but have 0 ideas xoxo

#it chapter 2 #richie tozier #the losers #reddie headcanons #reddie #stenbrough headcanons #stenbrough #guess who actually posted something #wow

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Bo Burnham: Inside Songs Ranked from Worst to Best

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The musical of the summer was supposed to be a life-affirming celebration of one of New York’s most vibrant neighborhoods, full of color, romance, and big group dance numbers. Instead for many viewers, the musical of the moment was filmed and performed by one man, alone in isolation from the comfort (or discomfort, really) of his own home, with songs centered on techno paranoia, mental health, and the fear of aging. Maybe after a year stuck in their homes, audiences could relate to the existential dread and general anxiety on display in Bo Burnham: Inside more than a conventional movie musical.

Billed as a stand-up special, Burnham’s latest musical comedy endeavor finds the former wunderkind holed up and feeling more uncomfortable than ever. Writing, editing, directing, and performing from a claustrophobic studio, Burnham’s stand-up special skews more toward being a straight-up musical, and not because the special is light on jokes and missing an audience. Rather this has all the hallmarks of a musical narrative and plays closer to experimental cinema than sketch comedy.

Burnham expresses his characters’ inner-thoughts, fears, and desires via song throughout a contained narrative, in this case the narrative being one man trying to occupy himself during a pandemic. It has ballads, charm songs, comedy numbers, “I Am” and “I Want” songs, and a big reprise. By capturing his personal pandemic experience and putting the whole affair to song, Burnham has created one of the most compelling (and catchy!) accounts of life during 2020.

To celebrate the musical that we all needed after a year in our homes, we’ve decided to rank every song from Bo Burnham: Inside. You can stream along via the Inside (The Songs) album on the streaming platform of your choice.

20. I Don’t Wanna Know

Merely an interlude, “I Don’t Wanna Know” doesn’t quite work outside of watching the special itself. However, it is a clever way to address the fact that modern audiences do not have the attention span to sit through a film at home without checking their phone or complaining about a runtime.

19. Bezos II

While certainly meant to poke fun at the real-life Lex Luthor, it’s not that fun to listen to Bezos’ name repeated. Stil, Burnham does elicit a few laughs with his over-the-top mock congratulations. “You did it!”

18. Any Day Now

A Sesame Street-like mantra that plays over the credits, “Any Day Now” suggests this could all end either hopefully soon or on a depressingly vague far-off date that will never come. We’d like to think it’s the former, but it’s safe to assume what Bo thinks.

17. All Time Low

While this number gets docked points for its short runtime, it absolutely packs a punch with its four-line, single verse. After Bo admits that his mental health is rapidly deteriorating, he describes what it’s like to have a panic attack set to a chipper ‘80s dance backbeat. Unfortunately, we don’t get to ride the wave long enough, and judging lyrics, that’s probably a good thing for Bo.

16. Content

This strong opening number musically sets the vibe for Inside, letting us know that we’re in for some synth-heavy throwback beats that would be best listened to underneath a disco ball. Also incorporating silly backing vocals, a hallmark of many of Inside’s best tracks, Burnham declares he’s back with some sweet, sweet content. “Daddy made you your favorite,” he sings, and he ain’t wrong.

15. Bezos I

Unlike the reprise in “Bezos II,” “Bezos I” gets by off its increasingly deranged energy, with Burnham roasting fellow tech billionaires and working himself up into a manic frenzy by song’s end. Musically, it sounds like the soundtrack to an intense boss battle on a Sega Genesis game before ending with a sick little synth solo and Burnham hilarious squawking. It’s arguably the only acceptable thing that Bezos has ever been associated with.

14. Unpaid Intern

While “Unpaid Intern” is one of Inside’s shortest tracks, it absolutely makes the most of its time. The jazzy tune scorches the exploitative nature of unpaid internships before Burnham breaks out into a laugh-out-loud worthy scat routine. It unfortunately ends too soon.

13. Shit

Inside’s funkiest jam sounds like Burnham wrote the lyrics for a new Janelle Moane album cut. Bo show’s off his vocal dexterity and plumbs the depths of his depression in a surprisingly danceable fashion. Throwing in a little faux crowd interaction helps bring home the fact that we have all felt like this at one point or another during the pandemic.

12. Sexting

This slow-jam details the complications of sexting, throwing out hilariously too-true punchlines like “the flash makes my dick look frightened.” “Sexting” feels like one of a few songs that could most easily appear on previous Burnham specials. Proving that Inside’s musical textures do not come exclusively from ’80s synth pop, the outro of the song expertly mirrors modern pop trends by throwing in some trap-influenced “yahs” at the end of Bo’s lines.

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11. How the World Works

Influenced by comedian Hans Teeuwen and children’s entertainment in general, “How the World Works” finds Burnham going back to the well by playing the ignorant, smarmy white guy who is oblivious of the real issues plaguing nonwhite Americans. What’s even better though is Socko calling Burnham out on forcing others to educate him for his own self-actualization instead of doing the work on his own for the betterment of others.

Socko pointedly asks “Why do you rich f—— white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?” Not to keep things too heavy, the song ends with an absurdist bit where Burnham returns Socko to the nether place that he goes when he’s not attached to Burnham’s hand. Scathing and bizarre, it’s a great piece of social commentary.

10. FaceTime With My Mom

While most of the music of Inside feels directly transported from the 1980s, “FaceTime With My Mom” seems only inspired by the past decade’s musical trends, updating the sounds in much of the same way that the Weeknd and Dua Lipa have. This is Bo Burnham as a hitmaker, and his attempt is convincing. “FaceTime With My Mom” earns easy laughs by getting to the seemingly specific, yet universal things that all our moms do over video chat.

9. Goodbye

Every good musical needs a good closing track, and Burnham nails it with “Goodbye,” pulling off a reprise that weaves in many of the special’s signature musical moments and touches on the special’s core themes. A forlorn piano ballad before it soars through Inside’s best motifs, “Goodbye” caps a triumphant musical achievement, coming back to “Look Who’s Inside Again” just to punch you in the gut one last time.

8. Problematic

Addressing his past work and some aspects that have not aged well, while also skewering celebrity apologies, “Problematic” is self-aware critique by way of an ‘80s workout bop. From the specific Aladdin confession to the overall apology for being “vaguely shitty,” Bo has never made accountability sound so good.

7. That Funny Feeling

This is Bo Burnham’s version of Father John Misty’s “Holy Shit,” a laundry list of all the stupid things that are signaling the fall of culture and civilization as we know it. If Misty hadn’t gotten there first, we may have had this one ranked higher. Still, Burnham manages to come up with a sticky chorus that you’ll be humming the next time something makes you feel like you’re living in the uncanny valley.

6. White Woman’s Instagram

Perhaps the special’s most playful moment, “White Woman’s Instagram” uses the musical cues of an inspiring empowerment anthem to poke fun at the predictably, perfectly curated feed of a “girl boss” Instagram. The song is greatly enhanced by the accompanying visuals, which find Bo recreating the meticulously staged and glamorous portraits that women pass off as their everyday lives.

However, Bo always likes to sneak in some sentimentality, and imagines a genuinely heartfelt post to his white woman character’s deceased mother. Don’t worry, the emotional moment doesn’t overstay its welcome, and we’re soon back to laughing at horribly derivative political street art.

5. All Eyes on Me

The droning synth and pitch-down vocals make “All Eyes On Me” oddly hypnotic and beautiful. The song seems to be addressing Bo’s depression along with his need for validation and attention, a juxtaposition that many performers deal with. It becomes clear that Burnham isn’t addressing an invisible audience, but himself, trying to will himself up and out of his dreary mental state.

4. Look Who’s Inside Again

A classic “I Am” musical song, “Look Who’s Inside Again” just may be Inside’s most emotionally resonant track that seems to hit closest to who Bo Burnham was and who he is today. This is the song that I will most likely regret the most for ranking so low.

“Well, well, look who’s inside again. Went out to look for a reason to hide again,” perfectly describes the cycle of depression and will, for me, be the special’s most lasting moment. The downbeat ending “come out with your hands up, we’ve got you surrounded” is heartbreaking enough to send a shudder down your spine.

3. Comedy

The special’s real first number is absolutely packed with hooks, from the “Call me and I’ll tell you a joke” bridge to the “Should I be joking at a time like this?” change-up. This is Bo really flexing how far he’s come as a musician, expertly utilizing autotune and a key change (us “stupid motherf***ers” can’t resist them).

“Comedy” also finds Bo comfortably in the lane that we’re most used to seeing him in, playing the egomaniacal white messiah with a wink. “Comedy” is the tone-setter and it’s so good that it lets you know that you’re in good hands for the next hour plus.

2. 30

Either I’m ranking this song too highly due to its personally relatable nature or the fact that I haven’t been able to get “All my stupid friends are having stupid children” out of my head, but I really don’t care. “30” is Inside’s biggest earworm and addresses the existential terror that comes with no longer getting pats on the back for being a young wunderkind.

“30” also examines generational differences, showing how 30 year-old people are more infantile than ever. However, at the end of the day it all comes back to those shimmering keys and that irresistible refrain. Apologies to my friends with children.

1. Welcome to the Internet

No matter how deep and emotionally rich some of Inside’s other tracks may be, “Welcome to the Internet” is the one that will live on the longest. If this were a traditional musical, this would the antagonists’ showstopper; a vaudevillian romp through the alluring chaos that is the internet. Speeding up and slowing down the pace to mirror the manic, addictive nature of surfing the net, Burnham pitches the negative aspects of online culture as they are: a feature, not a bug. Promising “a little bit of everything all of the time,” “Welcome to the Internet” is almost as enticing as the dark tool itself.

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renlimotroll · 4 years

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Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Mintosu × Siruko (side), one-sided Limone-sensei x Siruko (main)

Summary: It's not the butterflies that tell Sensei that he's in love. It was the death by a thousand cuts.

Tags: angst, heavy angst!!!, endgame MinSiru wedding, long fic, unrequited love

Warning: BL, Cursing, Imagination, but I like to keep my characterization 80% canon.

Ren's notes:

Before you read this, I want to say that this is Sensei’s POV, so the MinSiru moments will come across as sad and painful. I love Siruko-san, Mintosu-san and Limone-Sensei equally, and this is only just a story, okay? Please come into the story with an open mind and finish it with no attachments. Also, ready your heart.

I woke up at 3am and started writing this because all my best thoughts come at 3am. I was supposed to write cutesy, romantic Christmas stories, but when inspiration hits, it hits. This story is 100% MinSiru because no matter how pseudo-canon LimoSiru is, it's not what people want (wow, bitter Ren is bitter).

This story might be controversial, so I spent a week debating whether to publish it or not, but after all the hard work and me trying to be poetic, it would be a waste to keep it in my folders.

I'd like to thank Taylor Swift for possessing me with her poetic ghost. I listened to "The Moment I Knew", a song about her bf not coming to her birthday party, and was filled with so much angst because it hit home too much.

Please enjoy and don't blame me for your holiday blues!!

This story didn't have a happy ending.

Because the moment Limone-sensei realized he had fallen in love, he knew he was screwed big time. And it won't end well for him.

But that was okay, because all he wanted was for this person's happiness. This person deserved it more than anyone else in the world, and Limone-sensei will do everything in his power to make sure he gets it.

He being Siruko-san.

He didn’t like them, at first. Limone was a possessive, jealous friend, and when he learned Hana-chan met new gaming friends, his first instinct was to shoot them. But how could anyone not love Siruko-san? He had a beautiful soul, a kindness rare to the human race. Siruko-san was the kind of person who could bring a group of people of different personalities together and make them all get along well. It was really easy to fall for someone like him, and no matter how hard Sensei tried not to, it just happened.

After that, it was death by a thousand cuts.

The first cut came out when they were shooting a video. He always looked forward to the four of them shooting, because that meant he could see Siruko-san. But something about the Bintroll leader was off, had been off for days actually. Sensei knew because Sensei watches all his live streams when he can, and he was observant. It made Sensei’s heart weak, but because they weren't that close and they didn't have the same level of friendship Siruko had with Mintosu-san, Sensei couldn't just LINE him and say, "Hey, is something wrong with you?" But something happens with the Minecraft trap he was making for Hana-chan, and his first thought was, I can use this as an excuse. So he calls Siruko-san and all is saved, and after that they start to communicate more, outside the games they play for Hana-chan's channel.

Sensei's plan to get closer to Siruko-san fails, because the more time he spends chatting with him, the more he gets to know Siruko-san, the more he falls in love. They text almost everyday; they VC on nights they both couldn't sleep, on days something good happens and they both wanted someone to share it with. And then Sensei realizes something that'll break his heart forever.

One day, after Hana-chan wrapped up the first Atsumori video of them, and Sensei and Siruko moved to private messaging on Discord and continue to chat and talk like they always do after each shoot (sometimes about editing and most times about nothing), Sensei thought it was time.

"Siruko-san."

"Hm?" The purple head answered absent-mindedly. Because they're on a video call, like they've done most times now actually, Sensei could see his beautiful purple eyes fixed on something in his monitor. He's reading the comments on the latest Bintroll video, and Sensei always finds it endearing that he's always liking all the comments. Sensei does read his comments too, but he thinks it's too troublesome to like all of it. It's just not his style.

Sensei decided it's now-or-never. "You like Mintosu-san, don't you?"

Siruko stopped scrolling, eyes shifting to the webcam. Sensei kept a straight face, fakes being detached and indifferent to the reply, but it's something he already knew. He's seen it in the way Siruko-san almost always talks about Mintosu-san when they voice call, in the way that he's always so soft and patient for Mintosu-san. Sensei saw Siruko scrambling for an answer in a panic and took that as a confirmation, even as Siruko-san started to deny it.

"W-what's gotten into you Sense--? O-of course not!! I-what made you say that? Mouuu, is this a prank?? Stop joking with me Sense-- hidoi yo!"

Sensei rolled his eyes for effect, but his chest is heavy with something he can't explain. "You're a fucking idiot. Just spit it out, okay? I know it. Don’t make a fool of me."

"I really dont!" Siruko vehemently opposed it. A moment later, he gave up and sighed in defeat, because Sensei always saw right through him. "I-is it obvious?"

Very, Sensei thought, but instead he went with, "I don't think Mintosu-san knows. That guy is as dense as the air itself."

They fell into silence, and Limone-sensei was very sure right now that Siruko was thinking of the green robot. His heart told him, “No, don't say it, don't do it Limone!!”, but since when has he listened to his heart? So he said to Siruko-san, "You should confess."

"E-EHHHH?!?!"

"Tell him what you feel, Siruko-san."

"I-uhhh… Minben-san is not…. And I c-can't… uuummmmm…."

"Oh for fucks sake! Stop being a fucking coward, okay? If Mintosu-san accepts your feelings, then good. If he rejects you, then you'll learn how to move on. But I won't let you just keep this to yourself." Limone face-palmed himself internally, thinking hard about how he’s such a fucking liar and a hypocrite. The wide, scared puppy eyes Siruko-san is showing melted his heart. It's his weakness. But Sensei never gave in to any of his weaknesses. "I've watched all your videos and we've been friends for a long enough time for me to be sure that you love him, Siruko-san."

"But… but what if Minben-san..." Siruko whispered with this lost, desperate voice, and Sensei gritted his teeth to keep himself from falling apart. He had to do the right thing, even if it meant ruining himself.

"You'll never know if you never try. That's why you need to do something about this, instead of carrying it in your heart all the time. At the very least, it'll give you answers." Siruko looked so unsure, and Sensei knew he's thinking that Minben-san will never like him, that he's thinking bad thoughts about himself, and Sensei won't let Siruko belittle himself again. "Stop overthinking this! It's all in your mind. I said it, didn't I? You'll never know if you never try. Don't make me call Mintosu-san myself and tell him your feelings."

"A-ah!! Okay okay!! I'll… think about it?"

"Fine. I guess that's good enough."

Siruko smiled that sweet, precious smile of his, and usually it warmed Sensei's heart, but today it brought a thousand cuts. "Thank you Sensei."

"Whatever. Now hurry up and finish liking those comments so we can go to sleep."

"But you can sleep! I told you you didn't have to stay up for me!"

"And since when have I ever listened to you?"

"All the time." Siruko muttered, but Sensei heard it, so he faked being insulted with a "HA?!?!" and Siruko laughed (and Sensei loved that laugh), "Nothing, nothing!! Of course you'll do what you want, Sensei, you're badass like that."

"Damn right."

And a week later, Siruko texted him "Sensei, I did it!! Minben-san is my boyfriend now aaaaa!! Thanks so much Senseiiii!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄"

And Sensei replied "Good for you. Congrats." then went back to bed. Stared at the ceiling for long goddamn hours. He tweeted to his followers that he didn’t feel good so no video today, and turned off his phone.

And it felt like there was a big black hole in his chest. He didn’t get up to eat, he just stared at the ceiling, hating himself for being such a goddamn coward. He finally knew what it felt to be pierced through the chest like those characters in DbD, only his bleeding wasn’t physical, just metaphorical. The pain was real though. So real it cut him open and every breath was hard to get.

The next day, he moved on. Or at least, he pretended he did. One day of moping was enough. He replied "I'm fine" to everyone who texted him even when he's not. He had to be fine.

It's just death by a thousand cuts after all.

The next time it happened, Sensei had just finished playing a horror game and he felt accomplished. He was about to reward himself with a cookie even though he doesn't really like sweets, when the notification sound for a video call rings. He answered it automatically and he's greeted by a crying mess, and his heart dropped in response.

"Siruko-san?"

He didn't get an answer. Limone tried to make him calm down and breathe, and thankfully Siruko-san listened to him. The poor guy hiccuped and sniffed, and Sensei was already plotting Mintosu's death. He'll make it look like an accident too. One can’t play video games in prison after all.

"*sniff*... we had.. a fight, tente-… He got angry coz he said I was smothering him. I swear I didn't mean to nag, Sensei! I was just worried coz you know!..... Minben-san doesn't keep normal sleeping hours… well, I don't too so I don’t have the right.. but I was just worried, Chenche-!!"

Sensei pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Okay, so maybe he won't kill Mintosu, but he deserves a punch. Maybe two. In times like this Limone wished he could run to Tochigi and comfort Siruko in person. He'd been there once for a business-related meeting, and instead of staying in a hotel, Siruko offered their home. It was a nice trip, and he got to meet Siruko's lovely folks and brother. It made him guilty but also fulfilled for some reason, that he was able to stay in Siruko's house and spend time with him. It was something his internet relationship with Mintosu hasn't had yet at that time.

Forcing himself back to the present, Limone took off his glasses and wiped it with his shirt. Ever since he urged Siruko-san to confess, he became somewhat a confidante to their relationship. Siruko would sometimes share the good stuff but also vent out his frustrations. The positive point of this is that Sensei got to talk to Siruko-san, but it low-key stings as well.

"Siruko-san. You know what you were getting into when you started this relationship. Heck, you know Mintosu-san so well, so you should have known that he loves his freedom. I'm not saying you're wrong for worrying, but Mintosu-san is… well, Mintosu-san after all. I'm sure he can take care of himself."

"I know that." Siruko sulked and pouted and sniffed again. He really should blow his nose. Sensei resisted the urge to wipe his tears from the monitor by clenching his hand under the table.

"Sometimes… sometimes I feel that he's not my boyfriend."

Sensei couldn't help it, but this ugly, dangerous thing called hope arises from the pits of his locked-up emotions that he squishes down every single time. He's only human after all. Limone forced himself to remember who it was that made Siruko-san laugh, who it was that Siruko-san always worried about, who it was that Siruko-san loved, and gods Sensei wished it was him, but it's not.

In his wallowing he didn't realize Siruko-san was still talking, "...and he doesn't even text me good night, and I'm not asking for so much romantic stuff, but would it kill him to at least say he loves me too?"

Siruko stopped, waiting for a reply that Sensei forced through the shards of glasses in his throat. He killed the thought that sprung in his mind, "I'll tell you I love you everyday if you were mine.", and instead he settled for, "No, it wouldn't kill him."

Sensei continued because he doesn’t hate Mintosu-san. The guy's a good guy, and he can see why Siruko fell for him. Even his annoying sides are endearing. Sensei wanted to defend his side that Siruko-san might have missed.

"But Siruko-san, you knew he wasn't the romantic, hearts-and-roses type of guy, and you fell for him anyway. Don't you think it's a bit unfair of you to expect him to suddenly be a sweet-honey-words kind of guy? If you really wanted things like that, talk to him about it. Guide him through it, coz for all that idiot's bountiful of APEX skills, he sucks when it comes to emotions. Talk to him properly, and maybe back off with the nagging a little bit."

Siruko considered his words and looked thoughtful, and Sensei swallowed the bile coming up his throat, half-wishing they’d break up even though he just helped fix the misunderstanding. Finally, after long minutes of silence, Siruko showed a hint of that really cute, embarrassed smile. "Thanks Sensei. You're really good with advice."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Siruko chuckled a little and Sensei was content with that, he told himself. Just that slight hint that he was able to make Siruko-san feel better was enough. He doesn't want more, he lied to himself. "I might start to call you love-sensei now www. How come you're so good with relationship advice but you don't have a girlfriend? Want me to set up someone for you?"

"Do it and I'll kill you. You're lucky I don't charge you consultation fees."

"Coz you love me~" Siruko sang playfully.

You have no idea, Sensei thought hard. "I'll fucking kill you, bakagayo! Now if you don't have anything else to say, I'm gonna go to sleep."

"It's just 12 midnight! Since when do you sleep so early?"

I actually won’t. I'll lie down and imagine ways I could treat you better than he can, then hate myself for thinking such evil, selfish thoughts. But Sensei replied instead, "I just played a horror game and I went out today, so I'm a bit tired." Sensei knew Siruko-san would feel guilty he disturbed Sensei, that's how well he knew Siruko-san by now, so he followed up immediately. "Shut up, don't apologize. I'd always make time for you, you know that." The teacher said quietly. "We're friends, aren't we?"

Siruko's pretty lips lifted up in one corner wistfully. "Yeah."

The conflict of Sensei liking that smile versus the painful confirmation that they'll only ever be friends clenched Sensei's heart tight. "Then, good night Siruko-san. Ja na, mata ne.”

"Bye bye. Thank you, Sensei."

Sensei lay awake the whole night, until dawn came and the golden rays of the sun filter through his windows. It's like this every time, and Sensei should have been used to it, but he's not. He let the pain wash over him, thinking he might not be a sadist like what people think, but instead he might actually be masochistic.

But he'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

The third time, or he's not sure since it's been so long enough that he's not keeping count anymore, it was Siruko-san's birthday. He had just finished streaming Minecraft, and he put the Bintroll stream on background while he got something to drink. He didn't notice at first, but he knew something was wrong. Siruko-san was good at pretending, sometimes too good, so it's no surprise if the listeners didn't hear it, if even his own friends didn't know. But Sensei knew, heard that off-note, that slightly forced laugh, slightly louder, more exaggerated reaction. From the way Bintroll reacted too, they knew it, or at least have noticed it enough, but the show must go on. It's a livestream, and it's an unwritten rule among streamers that no one should break down during that. He knows that Siruko-san is happy, he really is, but something was missing. Or someone.

"Call me when you're done streaming." He typed on LINE, knowing Siruko-san is checking his phone. Not for his message of course. Never for his.

They finished the stream without reading the superchat donation, partly because Siruko-san was tired laughing and talking from the stream, but Sensei knew the other reason. He waits, but he also knew Siruko-san wouldn't call, because he doesn't like imposing on someone, troubling someone for something he thinks he can endure, even if it breaks his heart. He's too kind to do that, even if that was dumb. How many times has Sensei told him it was okay to rant to him, to call him when he's in trouble, or even when he's just bored? How many times has Siruko-san done it too, but each time Sensei has to reassure him that it was okay, he's not disturbing, that Sensei wants to listen to him. Siruko-san is truly dumb and masochistic, keeping everything to himself until he explodes with it, and there will be ugly messy crying and moping for days and drowning in alcohol and not leaving his bed. Sensei knew him too well. And if it was in Sensei's power to, if not protect him from things that can hurt him, then to pick him up when he's down, Sensei will do it, no questions asked.

Maybe Sensei is dumb and masochistic too, he realizes, as he dialed Siruko-san's number.

After 14 rings, during which Sensei is thinking of a hundred and one ways of killing Mintosu even if he has grown to also be close and endeared to the guy thanks to Siruko-san's efforts of getting the three of them to play together, Siruko finally picked up. He's silent, but Sensei knew he's there, and it just meant he wasn't in the mood to talk. Sensei could pick up the low sounds of sniffing and knew he was crying. Damn it. Sensei could take a million broken bones if it was just him, but just a hint of Siruko-san hurting and his knees lose strength.

"What happened." He demanded, but nothing. Silence answered him. Sensei waits and waits and waits. It always took so much coaxing, because no matter how friendly and sunny and cheerful Siruko-san always appears to be, he's an introvert who has insecurities deeper than the ocean and a long list of anxieties making it hard for him to open up sometimes. But Sensei is a patient man. He's already broken the walls Siruko built, passed through the mazes of Siruko's brilliant mind and fragile heart, and if Siruko-san makes more walls, Sensei won't ever be tired of breaking it down. Because beyond those walls is a precious, child-like heart that only wanted to be loved and accepted and happy, and it was very simple to give those things to him. Sensei knew he could give it.

"Minben-san."

"What."

"He…" Sensei sees it without really seeing it. The opening of the waterworks, tears flowing down. "He promised.. he'd come."

And Sensei understood immediately. Goddamnit, that fucking idiot. He could picture Siruko waiting, checking his phone from time to time, waiting for a Discord notification. Smiling and laughing as people wish him happy birthday, and it makes him happy, it really does, but it's different.

"Sensei.. you're really smart, right? You're love-sensei, right? So can you tell me…" Siruko sobbed, breaking Sensei's heart to a million pieces. "...what do you do.. when the one who means the most to you… is the one who didn't show?"

Sensei held his breath. Horror games he can do. Minecraft he can do. This? He doesnt fucking know how to fix this.

"Sensei… thank you by the way… you… you gave me superchat even in the middle of you streaming…You always do that, and it’s really thoughtful... that was really nice… thank you."

And Siruko dropped the call. Sensei clenched his fist, wanting to punch something. It was 4am, but he moved into motion almost without thought. Bought a train ticket to Tochigi and boarded the first train as soon as the station opened, carrying nothing but his wallet and phone and earpods. It took about two hours, and he stared as the view changed from high-rise skyscrapers to something a little more green, a little more rural. He took a cab to the address he knew so well; he's been here so many times that he's already a familiar face.

"Sensei..?" Hakotaro-san opened the door, surprised, but also relieved. He let him in without so much ado, even though it was too early. Sensei realized it's a Sunday, and it's still breakfast time. It's a weird time to come over a house, but maybe Hakotaro-san has an idea of why he came. He said "ojamashimasu” and took off his shoes.

Papataro and Mamataro were surprised to see him, but they welcomed him with warm smiles, asked him how he'd been, took him to the dining table and forced him to eat breakfast with them. Sensei really likes them--this house, their family--and it makes him miss his own back in Hokkaido. He apologized for coming unannounced and gave them the big cake he bought in haste because it's rude to come to a house without a gift, and they waved him off, telling him it's alright, although Siruko-chan's still in his room, probably still asleep. It's not a surprise to Sensei because he knows Siruko-san doesn't eat breakfast. He chatted with them and felt warm, because they treat him like he's a part of the family too, and Sensei knows where Siruko-san got his kindness from. Siruko and Hakotaro got their looks from their father, but they both got their mother's sweet smile.

He waited in the living room and scratched Baron absently as Hakotaro-san came up to his Niisan's room, and Sensei chuckled when he heard Siruko's loud, panicked shriek. Sensei liked cats more than dogs, but Baron is a good good boy. He's a bit older now so he's calmer and more domestic than most dogs, and Sensei loves his quiet company. Hakotaro-san came again and brought him snacks and a glass of water, and Baron followed his master and jumped on his lap like he's still a puppy even though he's bigger now. They sat in silence, because while they're friendly enough to have exchanged banter or two, Sensei's actually a bit more quieter and serious off the camera, off his online persona. The silence was actually nice, comfortable even, because it gave Sensei time to think and evaluate. Why the hell did he come here so impulsively?

"You would have been better for him, Sensei."

Sensei almost choked on his own spit, actually coughed a bit at that statement, shock covering his face. Hakotaro-san continued to brush Baron's fur as if he just announced the weather and not like he just delivered the finishing blow to Sensei's already pining heart.

"I--uh… what?"

"Don't get me wrong. I love Minben-san too, and I can see how he tries his best to make Niisan happy, and I'm supportive of them. But Minben-san…. He's too independent, too free. Niisan's better off with someone he can spoil but also someone who spoils him. Niisan likes to be needed, but also is needy himself. I know Minben-san is trying, and I know he loves Niisan with all his heart, but if it was you, Sensei, it would have been easier. Less clashing. You're both equals in a sense that Niisan can give and take, that… forgive my Kansai metaphor for the lack of better expression, Niisan can be boke but also tsukkomi. You balance each other in a way."

And the truth is, Sensei did think that too. It's not that Mintosu-san is a bad guy, but he's someone that was already happy and content by playing games, and complicated things like emotions and things like that is not his forte. He's been friends with the guy long enough to know who he actually is even off the camera. Mintosu did not strike him as someone who could be raw and open, which is something you need for a relationship to work. And Mintosu also seemed that kind of guy who would feel confined with the commitments of a relationship.

Mintosu-san is a great guy, a really good person, but he's not a natural lover. He's tough and doesn't mince his words and doesn't do the hearts-and-flowers and the feelings thing, and that's not wrong, but sometimes Sensei thinks he has a better relationship with his fans and listeners than with Siruko-san. He was always more considerate of them, kinder, gentler, and maybe it’s because that kind of human interaction is simpler and easier.

But that doesn't mean Mintosu didn't love Siruko. Heck, it's a testament to how much he loves Siruko-san because he always tries hard to be what he's not. Sensei knew that Mintosu-san tries his best to remember important events, to send gifts and take Siruko out on dates, to be more generous with his I love yous. Mintosu-san is good for Siruko-san; he knows Siruko-san full well and understands every part of him, and they can be a really good team when they try hard enough. They have this shared history that Sensei can't ever replicate. Sensei acknowledged, respected, and supported their relationship with all his being; heck, he's even the one that triggered it into happening.

And Sensei hated himself everyday for this, but he wished he was Mintosu. That if one thing had been different in this universe, he wished he could have been what Siruko's heart wanted. That he was the one who received Siruko's kind, loving smiles, who got to make love to him, who got to give him the happiness he very much deserved. Limone-sensei would have been so good to Siruko-san, would have given him the attention he craved and the reassurances he needed. He would have been strict to him because Siruko tended to forget everything when he's so addicted to a game, would have crashed his stream to scold him to eat, but he also would have given in to Siruko's whinings, because there's very little Sensei can deny Siruko-san. He already does all of these things, but only as a friend, never more than that. He would have given him the universe if Siruko-san asked for it.

But Sensei had no time to indulge this self-pity, because his universe came out of the room, covered head to toe with a soft, velvety brown blanket. His beautiful purple eyes were puffy from crying, and he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. Sensei wanted to bundle him up and just envelop him in his arms to protect him from anything that might hurt him, but in this universe, he didn't have the right to do that.

"What are you doing here?" Siruko-san pouted. Sensei wondered if he was disappointed that it wasn't his lover that came to surprise him. His voice was hoarse, either from streaming or crying, Sensei didn't know, but he hated it. Hated that he couldn’t take care of Siruko-san the way he wanted to, because in this universe, Siruko’s heart wants what it wants, and that was Mintosu-san.

"I brought you cake. Happy late birthday."

"I don't like sweet things though." Siruko-san sat between his brother and Sensei and casually placed his head on Sensei's shoulder, because they're close enough friends he could do that. Totally platonic, to Sensei's disappointment, but Sensei let him. That's one thing about Siruko-san, he's clingy and surprisingly craves touch. Sensei draped one arm over him and pats Siruko's shoulder, and he thought about where he finds this easy to do, Mintosu would have been repulsed yet forced to give this level of affection. He felt bad for Mintosu-san, but not that much, because at least Siruko's heart belonged to him.

Sensei rolled his eyes in response. "Yeah, like I didn't know that. It was lemon cake."

Siruko snorted playfully underneath the blanket. "Because it's from you?"

"What else?"

The three of them sat in silence for a while. It should have been weird but it wasn't, at least not to them. Sensei decided to break the silence and finally reveal what he came here for. His exhaustion suddenly washed over him--a few intermittent naps on the train wasn't enough--but he had to do this. He'll never let Siruko-san cry again, not if he can help it.

"Go take a bath and wear some nice clothes, bakatare. We're going somewhere."

Siruko sat up like a puppy who had been called to attention. "Where?"

"To Nara, to Mintosu-san's house."

He saw the hurt and betrayal and refusal in Siruko's eyes, but there was also this hope and desire that made Sensei feel what he's doing is right even though it's not what he wants to do at all. "I-it's okay Sensei," Siruko denied, "I-it's really okay and I… I'm used to this. Minben-san texted me that he forgot and got tired from streaming so he fell asleep, that's all. You don't have to do this and I… I'm fine."

Sensei stared at him hard and Siruko flinched. "There's no reason to go there, and besides, I'm sure he's busy, and--"

"Does there need to be a reason?!" Sensei suddenly raised his voice, and he stilled himself. Sometimes it's so hard to control his emotions, and he's so so angry but he can't be, because there was no black and white here. He can't blame Mintosu for unknowingly hurting Siruko because he had never been that kind of guy anyway, one who prepares romantic stuff to surprise his lover on his special day. It was an honest mistake on his part, and even that was just, so Mintosu. And he also can't blame Siruko-san for this, for expecting something more, because it was his right as a boyfriend, his right to get the simple happiness he wanted. Sensei took a deep breath to calm himself. Here were two people who loved each other but sucked at showing it, and if all they needed was a little push, a little nudge to the right direction, then Sensei was willing to make himself fall apart just so they could both be whole.

"You want to see him, don't you?" Sensei said in a hushed voice. He glanced at Hakotaro-san who didn't interfere and made a reaction, just watching them. "If you want to see him, that's good enough reason, Siruko-san. And when you see each other, you'll fight and be at each other's throat, but also make up and forgive, because you can't let this misunderstanding be unresolved. It'll be a festering wound, and I can only see this incident as something that'll come back and bite you in the future. I know both of you too well because you are my friends. I know you, Siruko-san, that you'll say you're fine now but you'll never forget this, and you'll bring this up against him every time you see the chance, because you were hurt and you'll want him to acknowledge it. And I know Mintosu-san, that he'll get sick of it because he can't tolerate your emotional needs, he'll push you away and turn the blame on you again like he always does, because he has always been a prideful person. And you're both idiots but you're both not wrong for being what you both are. So if I have to drag you to Mintosu-san's house by stuffing all 175cm of you in a suitcase, I swear I will, because you both need to talk."

Siruko freezed, processed everything that Sensei said, and stormed back to his room and shut his door with a loud bang, because for all their silly fighting, Siruko is too similar to Mintosu sometimes, both idiots who likes to bottle their emotions inside of them, and when confronted with it, will run away from it. Hakotaro-san hummed in consideration, making Sensei jump a little because he had honestly forgotten about him.

Sensei cleared his throat. "What?"

"You're right, of course, but I still stand by what I said. Their chemistry is too… explosive, and that can be a good or a bad thing. Their similarities make it stable, but both being water signs, one moment they can be as peaceful as a lake, then the next it's a raging tsunami. Them knowing each other so well works for them, because they have their own level of understanding no one can reach, but that also means they know each other's buttons and what ticks each other off, and they both use it against the other. I don't like that Niisan always has to apologize first and he just goes along with what Minben-san wants so they don't clash, but I also don't like Minben-san being forced to go out of his comfort zone to be this person Niisan needs him to be. Their love can be something so very beautiful, but it can also easily turn into something toxic.

On the other hand, while you and Niisan are very different from each other, it's complementary. What the other lacks, one makes up. People have this misconception that Niisan is outgoing, but he just finds it easier to make friends on the internet. So while you, Sensei, is extroverted, it complements Niisan being introverted. Niisan's patience can keep up with your need to try new things, and your ability to back down works with Niisan's need to be right all the time. You're fire and water and it shouldn't work but it can because you're both emotionally mature and flexible enough to balance each other out."

Sensei didn’t get scared easily, but now he did, because his palms are getting clammy and there might be actual goosebumps at his nape. Was… Hakotaro-san reading his mind? Did Hakotaro-san… know he's been harboring these feelings for his older brother all this time? He knew the younger one had always been observant and intelligent like his Niisan, but to this extent? Sensei resisted the urge to shiver.

"Why… are you telling me this?"

Hakotaro-san shrugged. "No reason. I know Minben-san and Niisan will get through this, especially with you always helping their relationship. I want what's best for my Niisan, but I also want what makes him happy. Give me a moment to talk some sense to him. He'll only go to Nara if you come with him, so, yoroshiku onegaishimasu." Hakotaro-san bowed slightly and Sensei was a second too late to return it, mind reeling from the analysis the blonde just revealed, and by the time he recovered, Hakotaro was already in his brother's room, and he's left alone with Baron and Pii-chan in the living room.

It took everything in Sensei to not get undone in that living room, to kill the rising hope in his heart that maybe, maybe he has a chance. Maybe he should just let this incident go, so that if their relationship sours, Sensei can swoop in and show Siruko-san how to be properly loved and treated. If they break up, Mintosu will be free of this emotion thing that shackles him and do what he loves the most, sometimes more than his own boyfriend, which is gaming, and that would be best for him. And Siruko, sweet, dearest Siruko, won't have to settle with the scraps of affection and attention Mintosu-san gives him, because Sensei can do it. Sensei can come to every one of his birthday stream and be touchy and affectionate and open, and he can love him more than this.

Gods, he wished he was a horrible enough person so he can be capable of ruining a relationship.

An hour passed, and Hakotaro-san told him his Niisan was calm now, so Sensei entered his room. Siruko, who looks like a burrito with that blanket bundling him, glared angrily at him, but without any heat. Sensei settled on his gaming chair.

"You're mean." And the buriko ojiisan actually stuck his tongue out at him, the nerve.

He's mean?! As if Mintosu didn't bully him every time. Tch. "So?"

"Do you even know how far Tochigi and Nara is? It's like 6 hours away by train."

"And if your dramatic ass didn't throw up a tantrum, we would have been in the train by now."

"See?? Meanie!!" Siruko accused, turning his back to Sensei. "I'm not sure I wanna talk to him. I don't even know what to say to him."

And Sensei thought, this is it. He could say that they didn't have to go, and let this misunderstanding pile up with their other issues until it blows in their face. But he glanced at their rare framed picture on Siruko's desk, with their wide smiles, Mintosu's arm draped over Siruko's shoulder while holding a peace sign and Siruko looking at Mintosu with such adoration in his eyes, and Sensei can’t.

"I'm sure you can think of something during that stupid 6 hour ride."

And Siruko looked back at him, gave him this soft, grateful smile and said okay, and Sensei tasted cotton balls in his mouth. If only Siruko knew how awful Sensei's thoughts were, he wouldn't be so trusting of him. Sensei's stomach is filled with gravel, and it makes his body heavy and sick with something medicine can’t cure. A martyr, that’s what he was, or a living thing but dead inside. Loving Siruko-san was the most exquisite form of self-destruction.

And in the train ride to Nara, where Siruko spent most of the time sleeping on Sensei's shoulder, Sensei should be feeling happy with this moment of just the two of them. But he didn’t.

It just felt like death by a thousand cuts.

And later, Mintosu, who did this stupid perfect impression of a fish out of the water with his surprise to see them in his apartment, jaw dropped and eyes wide, let them in. Siruko was silent and kept biting his lips, and Mintosu was genuinely confused, and Sensei would like to punch them both and go home. So Sensei acts like a mediator, almost like a marriage counselor, and at first Mintosu and Siruko refuse to let their emotions out, but Sensei shouts at them that he didn't come all the way from Tokyo for this bullshit, so they let their frustrations out and shout at each other, and Mintosu almost storms out in anger but Sensei doesn't let him, and Siruko cries this angry tears but Sensei forces him to calm down, and they both manipulate each other's emotions and are both stubborn and vindictive, but in the end they come to an agreement to be more understanding and more open with their feelings and with a promise to always talk and communicate, and they make up. Sensei faked forgetting to make an important phone call and stepped outside to give them some privacy, because the last thing he needed was to see them kiss in front of him.

At midnight they went out and ate the best ramen in town and it was really delicious, and they traded jokes and laughed and talked about their favorite things. Sensei slept on the couch while the couple slept in Mintosu's room, and Sensei didn’t really get any sleep, because he's busy trying not to imagine what they must be doing on the other side of the apartment, and hating himself for being unable to be an awful person because once again, he probably has contributed more to this relationship more than any outsider has or needed to, and he tries to be happy for them because they are happy and in love.

Sensei asked the Mintosu's ceiling if he'll be alright and it said, "I don't know."

The last time, it wasn't really the last, but it did feel like the end. It's been more than a year, and one day, as they finished shooting a video, Mintosu DM-ed Sensei.

It's not that unusual, since Mintosu and Sensei did develop their own friendship outside of their collabs, partly because of Siruko. Sensei kind of became their go-to person when they're in trouble with their relationship, and it kills Sensei but also makes him feel like he's not completely a terrible person if he was able to help them out.

It was rare though, for Mintosu to reach out first. So Sensei voice-called him, partly because he wanted to rest his fingers, and partly because he'll be able to hear Mintosu's emotions through his voice.

"Moshi moshi Sensei!"

"Hai hai, mosh mosh, doushita doushita."

"Ano.. I was kind of wondering if… how do you say this… if you had any advice for me..?"

That was weird. Mintosu, unsure of himself? At loss for words? Is there a zombie apocalypse outside his door right now?

"For what?"

"Coz I… um… I'm planning to ask Siruko-san to marry me."

And the world stopped spinning. Time stood still, and the world turned into shades of gray. Sensei’s heart gets caught up in his throat, and his insides were being turned into mush.

"...Sensei?"

Sensei shook his head to clear his mind, but it's so hard to breathe. He regretted voice calling now, because it's so hard to talk when his throat felt like acid. "C...Congratulations, teme!! W-wow this is such a big.. move, like wow, really. Dude, congrats…"

"Thanks Sensei! You're actually the third person I told, after my family and my best friend. I'm kinda nervous and excited for it!"

"Y-yeah… I bet you are… Listen, can I go to the toilet for a bit?"

"Sure, iterrashai!"

Sensei ran to the toilet and hurled the dinner he ate, his hands shaking. He splashed water on his face to calm himself down. He'd seen this coming, taught himself how to react when he hears the news, trained himself to accept it, but it still came crashing down on him like boulders on a landslide. This was his worst nightmare coming true.

"I’m back."

"Osu!"

"So… advice huh?"

"Yeah! The ring stuff, my bestfriend can take care of that, coz I have zero knowledge in that area hahaha. But I still don't know how to ask him. Should I go for the dinner style? Or the… blegh, ring on champagne thing? Coz I really dont wanna have to, thinking about it makes me puke, blegh."

And Sensei felt horrible for this, he really did, but he told Mintosu… what he let himself imagine in the middle of the night when he lets the devil in him take over, when he would revel in his deepest, darkest fantasies, things he would have done for Siruko-san. How he would have proposed.

Siruko-san deserved something grand, but also private. Sensei would have made a scavenger hunt for him, but one Siruko can do in his house because he doesn't like going out, so he'll need to ask Hakotaro-san for help. It's perfect for him, since he loves games, and he's good at solving problems and figuring things out. The next puzzle pieces will come from Bintroll, and Siruko-san can VC or chat with them about it. It will give him time to spend with the people he loves the most, and when he looks back at this memory, Siruko-san would love that they were involved. The last puzzle piece would take him to a hotel though, for their privacy. Sensei would have pulled out all stops for him, rose petals and candles everywhere (he leaves this part out because he doesn’t think Mintosu-san will do this, nor does it suit him), and he imagined Siruko-san confused but super touched at the romantic gesture, and then Sensei would come out and give him an embarrassing but heartfelt speech about how much he loves him and wants to spend forever with him, that Siruko was his lifeline (like the character they both like in APEX), that a man like Sensei can only love someone that greatly once, so Siruko was his one and only. Sensei imagined Siruko-san getting a bit emotional with the speech and cracking a joke to lighten the mood, and then he'd fall down on one knee and tell him how he loves everything about Siruko-san, his good leadership and charisma that makes everyone around him respect and treasure him, his supportive side that lifts everyone around him up, and even his demanding, whiny side that makes you wanna scold him but also indulge him.

And they would have been good for each other. They compensate for what each other doesn't have. They bring out the best in each other. Where Sensei was sometimes emotionally distant, Siruko's empathy and warmth fills that. Where Siruko was full of insecurities and anxieties, Sensei was the confidence and the daring that would support him. They both have a loud personality, which, in a non-arrogant way, has this center-of-attention thing that charms people so well, but also, they both have a side that sometimes hides in the background blending in quietly, and that's what make it's so balanced, because when one roars, the other one knows how to shut up, and vice versa. They can be both assertive and analytical, but they're also both attentive and generous. Sure, they would have had some friction, but they were both understanding enough to have handled it. It would've been sweet, if it could've been him. It would've been fun, if Sensei was the one.

They would have been as natural and beautiful as the purple-blue daybreak sky.

But it wasn't. In this world, it was Mintosu that Siruko wanted and loved. Mintosu who gets to wake up in the morning next to him, who got to cook curry for him and take care of him, who got to hold him in his arms. And they still worked, despite the seemingly destructive fights, because they were proof that if two people tried hard enough, they could make it work. Siruko learned how to assert his opinions and call out Mintosu for his bullshit, and Mintosu learned how to listen and be more showy with his affection. They still have their worse moments, and sometimes they both treat their issues the same way: either pretending it didn't exist even if it bothered them, or giving the other the cold silent treatment, or have screaming fights where they throw their words like knives, and on the worst ones, someone has to interfere, most times (to his agony), it was Sensei who did. But they pulled through by some miracle, and Sensei was happy for them, he really is. They make a good couple when they actually cooperate, and Sensei wouldn’t have approved of any other man other than Mintosu-san for Siruko-san.

And Mintosu-san actually did follow Sensei's advice, to his surprise. Sensei volunteered to make the scavenger hunt for him because that's not Mintosu's strength, but he helped and made an effort to be involved in the process. There were no roses or candles or long speeches, only the few words of: "Siruko-san, I want you to be my partner in everything; in gaming and in life. Marry me." And Siruko didn't believe him at first and thought it was a prank, but when he saw Minben-san was serious for once, he dived into Minben-san's arms and shouted “Yeeees!” And Mintosu-san almost drops the ring but he was able to catch Siruko, and they laughed while their eyes got a bit moist and they spent the whole night reveling in each other's presence and owning each other in all senses. Limone-sensei knew this because they both told him, and he congratulated them sincerely and joked about buying them PC gear for their wedding gift, and later finally let himself cry for the first time.

That was months ago. Sensei's now dusting off his black suit and adjusting his navy blue tie while sitting on his chair, waiting for the wedding ceremony to start. There were two aisles that meet in a center altar, where the officiant is already on standby. Sensei was one of the few lucky people invited in the small ceremony, as usually most people attended the reception instead. Both Mintosu and Siruko wanted him to come, as they said they both owe their relationship to him. Sensei couldn't say no even if he tried, of course. Some good part of him was still proud at what he's done to help, even if his heart dropped to his stomach and shattered to a million pieces at the thought of attending the wedding he very much wanted to be his.

The grooms arrived and walked the aisle, but of course Sensei was only looking at Siruko-san. He was beautiful, with his purple hair combed well and there were no longer dark shadows in his eyes. Not that he has ever been any less beautiful to Sensei, because Sensei found his tired or drunk state equally cute, but this, his wide smile full of nervousness and excitement, his purple eyes shining with glee, it was too much for Sensei, because it wasn't meant for him. He choked on bitter bile and coughed, and beside him Shoichi side-eyed him worriedly. He was the only one who knew, of course. Sensei couldn't have confided in Hanachan; he was already too busy with his own things to think about, and plus, he wouldn’t understand why Sensei backed off. He would have urged Sensei to pursue Siruko-san. Shoichi only knew because he and Sensei went out eating one day and ended up in a bar, and Sensei couldn't hold his alcohol well and accidentally ranted. Shoichi promised he'd never tell anyone, and Sensei knew Shoichi also wanted to ask Sensei why he never tried, but the editor didn’t, only offered silent consolation like a brother. It helped him get through the pain and the heartache, but it never fully healed. This kind of pain lasts a lifetime, because the only love that lasts is unrequited love.

And as they exchanged vows, Sensei tried to let go. He's known for a long time now, what love really means. It meant making difficult, painful choices for the happiness of another person, more than your own. Loving Siruko was the most beautiful and tragic thing he's ever done, but it was okay. He sees Mintosu gaze at Siruko with the same loving eyes he has, and that was good enough. Perhaps such a great love like Sensei had was never meant to be returned, but it will be alright.

And when they kissed, Sensei thought it was okay. People fall in love with people they can't have all the time.

He'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

And this story did have a happy ending, just not for him.

The end.

Ren’s RANT that you don’t have to read:

About the story!

Please don't hate Minsan. I love that guy so much and even though him forgetting birthdays is almost a canon-like thing he can do, my good friend Hotaru (who likes to pretend she is Minsan's wife) pointed out that Minben-san doesn't seem like a person who would forget someone's birthday especially if it was someone special to him. He'd most likely buy you a present, although he might forget to give it to you on your actual birthday. 😂😂😂 and that's okay, it was an honest mistake on his part, that's the reason why Sensei wouldn't punch him and Siruko-san forgave him easily. It's just a Minsan thing and I love him.

I also want to point out that Minsan is also emotionally intellectual in a sense that he analyzes feelings and emotions very well, and if you watch his streams he actually has a side to him that's good at self-introspection. We just think he's not the type to show his vulnerable self, and that's why he doesn't really show up much in Bintroll livestreams, because he's more comfortable with gaming than casual chatting, and that's okay. Please don't think I don't ship MinSiru too; I was the biggest MinSiru fan and I still am, and I have probably influenced so many to their ship too. I like their dynamics as well, but as someone who has watched Minben-san for quite a bit of a long time, lately I realized that when it comes to him, Mintosu x Fans are the true canon ship. If you watch his streams closely, you'll know how much he cares about his listeners and really truly genuinely enjoys his interactions with them. He's a complex man; he has different sides of him in the Hanae channel, Bintroll channel, and his own channel, and if you watch him more, you'll fall in love with how close he is to his listeners. That's why I think Mintosu x Fans is canon www (ship MinRen for world peace and clear skin!!) (Ren who imagines herself with Minsan more than Minsan with Siruty)

I see Mintosu as someone who cannot be tied down by a relationship because that’s not him, and that’s okay because you can already see his happiness by gaming, and I love him for that.

This fic is controversial (and that's why it took me a full week to decide whether to publish it) in a sense that I've given some bad points about MinSiru. I did give them some good points, but since it's Sensei POV, it came across as sad. But just because it would be difficult doesn't mean it wouldn't work. Trust me, I'm in a relationship with someone who's almost like Min-san in personality, but we've been together for almost 3 years now. I used to think Siruko-san was a saint for enduring all Mintosu-san's trolls, coz if that was me, I would be annoyed, but there's a reason why Mintosu only does it to Siruko; it's because he's the most comfortable with Siruko3. Siruko-san is patient and understanding enough to deal with Minsan's quirks, and Minsan is also loves his company. They are more similar than people think, and that's why it's easy for them to be in sync. It'll be difficult, but it'll work. Believe me.

LimoSiru rant:

I think I’m getting better at writing angst wwww it’s just sad because if one really watched closely all four channel’s livestreams and videos, they’d see LimoSiru is beautiful too. They may not have had shared history and sexual tension, but it’s obvious how Siruko-san really supports Sensei in everything, and Sensei in return supports Bintroll even if he didn’t have to, and that’s beautiful.

I think part of the reason why I ship LimoSiru is because they make it so easy for me. It's not my fault when they are the ones who make all these cute, flirty interactions. I've started shipping them since the Fall Guys stream and have noticed how incredibly cute their relationship is. Imagine someone crashing your stream because he had this puzzle he couldn’t solve and because you’re so smart, he goes to you instead, not caring if you are currently streaming or if there are fans watching. Like seriously, Sensei, don’t you have friends? Or couldn’t you just LINE Siruko-san afterwards? If it seems like LimoSiru just happened all of a sudden, I assure you it didn’t. It’s always been there, and they started as friends too. It's almost enemies to friends to something more. In the Dedomental video, Mintosu asks Siruko-san where his name came from, although he jokes it’s kinda dirty. If you watch Sensei’s POV, you’ll hear him laugh and say “I think it’s a good name.” Siruko-san always crashes Sensei’s stream and Sensei does the same, and I found it especially cute when Sensei always superchats in Siruko’s birthday stream; first, when he played DbD with them, and on the second, isn’t it cute how he sends superchat while he’s streaming, like he doesn’t have to do that, but he did. Even in the Bintroll 100k stream, he helped them make the DbD minecraft after his own stream, and that was so on-the-spot, and the fact that he did that even though he could have just ended his stream and rested, is very thoughtful. And have you watched that sudden stream that took our wigs off? Bintroll had just received their silver play and moments later Sensei wanted a stream with Siruko-san, when he could have just congratulated them on Twitter or LINE. The conversations, gods they sound like two people who were in the early stages of dating, and it felt like we listeners were third-wheelers. They learned their lesson on stream #2 because the conversations were more proper and they kept themselves in check, but that raw, unfiltered, natural first stream was everything. I’ve always had so little content for LimoSiru and even if they didn’t do that I would have been happy, but now with that big, fat LimoSiru official thumbnail there, I have died and ascended to heaven. (As of the release of this post, they have interacted almost everyday for a week, and I don't know what to do with all these interactions! I've been so used to little content and now I'm just… dead)

But not everyone ships like me, I guess, one who can ship anything and everything equally. At the end of the day, nothing is canon. That’s the real angst in this post, hahahaha. I know the characters in my mind are different from the people who livestreams in real time, no matter how much I always try to keep the characterization close. So let’s just enjoy supporting them in our own ways.

Thank you for reading! I love you~~

#Bintrollfanfic

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abundanceofsoph · 4 years

Text

SkyFire 1: Chapter 13

Aurora’s Birthday & New York 2014

Word count: 2.8k

SkyFire 1 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts

Aurora was confused when she and her dads walked up towards the front of the Golden Stag on Saturday evening for her birthday dinner. The chalkboard was set out on the footpath announcing, WE ARE CLOSED: PRIVATE PARTY. “I thought it was just us, Helen and Greg for dinner?” Rori asked after reading the sign.

“They probably closed so that they can enjoy their dinner without worrying about customers,” Tony replied smoothly.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” she said, reaching out to push open the front door. Aurora froze on the threshold as a chorus of surprises tore through the small crowd amassed inside the small pub. She felt her eyes grow warm as Tony stepped up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Happy Birthday Kid,” he whispered, kissing her cheek and gently pushing her forward into the room.

Ella was the first person to rush forward and throw her arms around her best friend. “Happy Birthday Rors,” she cheered. “Were you surprised?”

“Absolutely,” Rori replied. “I had absolutely no idea.” She smiled warmly as she looked around the room, taking in everyone who had come to celebrate her 19th birthday. Helen and Greg were there of course, as was Ella’s mum Rebecca, the Stag regulars Tom, David, Mick and Jim were also there, but it was the unexpected addition of the 5 other men amongst the small group that surprised Rori. Harry’s smile split across his face as their eyes locked, Liam, Niall, Louis and Zayn standing next to him. Helen ordered everyone to pull up a seat as she began dishing up hearty servings of the best looking Sunday roast Rori had ever seen, but before she could take the seat left for her at the head of the table, Harry was by her side.

“Happy Birthday love,” he said, his voice low and husky.

“Thank you,” Rori replied with a soft smile, very aware of both of her fathers watching their interaction. “I never expected you to be here, or the other guys.”

“It was your dad’s idea,” Harry replied, reaching out to take one of her hands in his, playing with her fingers absently as they spoke.

“Which one?” Rori asked.

“Steve. Not sure how he got my number, but he called yesterday to invite me, and I suggested bringing the rest of the band too.”

“Dad probably had JARVIS pull your number off my phone,” Rori said. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Harry replied, kissing her cheek before leading her over to the table filled with her family and friends. He pulled out her seat for her and then made his way down to the other end of table to sit with the guys. Throughout dinner Rori found her eyes returning to Harry and his face would light up with a smile every time their eyes met, causing Rori to blush. Tony watched the looks and smiled softly to himself, nudging Steve with his elbow to draw his husband’s attention to the young couples flirting. Steve chuckled softly, happier than he could explain to see their daughter falling in love. After dinner, before the cake was served Rori watched as Harry quietly excused himself and headed towards the toilets. A few minutes later she not so subtly also excused herself from the table. She found him walking back towards the table, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the stairwell leading to her old apartment, out of the sight of the table. She stepped up onto the lowest step, bringing her face level with Harry’s and lent forward to kiss him.

“I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he whispered against her lips when they pulled apart, foreheads resting against each other as their breath mixed together between them.

“Me to,” Rori replied, her fingers tangling themselves in his curls. She pulled him back into another kiss, deeper than the last, her breathing turning shallow as his hands rested on her hips, pulling her flush against his torso. They sprung apart a few minutes later when someone coughed loudly behind Harry. They both blushed profusely as Ella grinned back at them.

“If you two would like to stop eating each other’s faces,” the blonde chuckled, “the rest of us are ready for cake.”

“Be there in a minute,” Rori told her best friend, watching as she turned on her heels and headed back to the table. Rori dropped her head against Harry’s shoulder as she heard her best friend loudly address the group.

“They were sucking face but still fully clothed so we’re all good.”

“OMG,” Rori moaned. “She’s gonna be the death of me.”

Harry chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “How likely are your dads to kill me?”

“They’ll probably thank you,” Rori laughed. “They’re honestly the weirdest. They’re always trying to convince me to go to parties and be young or whatever. I mean they were troublemakers their whole lives and then they had this shy 16 year old land on their doorstep and they’re baffled by me.”

Harry chuckled again, lacing their fingers together and tugging her reluctantly back into the main room. Louis and Liam wolf whistled as the pair re-emerged, causing the blush to return to both of their cheeks. “Yeah alright,” Harry said, “lay off.”

“Anyway,” Helen called out, “now that the birthday girl is ready to grace us with her presence again. Who wants cake?”

Harry sat down, pulling Rori onto his lap as the cake was sliced and handed out to everyone. She looked across the table to where her parents were sitting, catching a smirk on Tony’s face while Steve smacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Leave her alone,” she heard him tell his husband. “You’re such a shit stirrer.”

xXx

The morning after her birthday dinner, Aurora met Harry for Sunday brunch at a trendy café in east London. While they knew they were risking being spotted together, neither could say they really cared, and they decided that while they wouldn’t publicly announce their relationship, they also wouldn’t actively try to hide from the world either. Luckily no one seemed to pay them much attention as they ate, chatting happily and nocking their feet against each other under the table. Aurora had often felt herself marvelling at the normalcy of talking to Harry. In the 6 weeks she had known him he had never once acted like the majority of famous people she’d encountered since moving to New York. He didn’t flaunt his wealth; he didn’t name drop other famous people he knew; he was just like any other 20 year old guy Rori might meet at university. They talked about sports, movies, books and other normal things that normal couples talked about, but most of all they talked music. Aurora found that they had similar taste in genres, although Harry didn’t understand her fascination with American country music, no matter how much she tried to explain the appeal of the storytelling and simple chords in her favourite songs. Louise had introduced her to a steady diet of 70s and 80s pop and rock, and she and Ella had obsessed over 90s and 2000s pop, but it wasn’t until she’d moved to the US a few years earlier that she’d really encountered country music. Now her music taste was so varied her go to playlists would jump from the Beatles to ACDC, Lady Gaga to Rascal Flats, Backstreet Boys to Linkin Park or Mayday Parade. As she’d told Harry, she firmly believed that enjoying every genre of music made her a better song writer.

xXx

The Stark-Rogers remained in London for another week and while Aurora made sure to spend plenty of time with Ella and her mum, she also spent as much time as possible with Harry. She hung out with Louis quite a lot as well, finding that other than Harry, he was the band member that she got along with the easiest and they were fast becoming great friends. The day before she was scheduled to fly home to New York, she was lying on the sofa in Harry’s house, a movie playing on the flat screen that neither were paying attention to. Her head was cushioned on his lap, a blanket pulled up to her chest despite the crackling fire nearby.

“I don’t want to go home tomorrow,” she said, looking up at Harry. “These last 2 weeks have been so incredible.”

“I don’t want you to go either,” he replied. “But I’ve got 3 more months before tour prep starts, so I’ll fly out to see you a couple times and then you can come spend summer with me. It’ll be great.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“I’m so glad you get along with the guys,” Harry continued. “It’ll make it so much easier for you to join us on tour.”

“I’m glad they like me,” Rori agreed.

“Like you? They love you,” Harry laughed. “You and Louis together are gonna be a pain in the ass. I can already tell.”

“I always wanted a sibling to get up to mischief with,” Rori confessed. “He kind of feels like the big brother who’d buy booze for you and your friends when you’re underage.”

“Louis can’t help throwing out the strong Big Brother vibes,” Harry agreed. “It’s like he spent so many years being the eldest sibling that he skips the friend’s stage and goes straight to sibling mode. He did it with all of us when the band was put together, and it looks like he’s tucked you under his wing too.”

“I’m happy to be there,” Rori said. “I like being a little sister.”

xXx

In mid-February, Aurora was sitting in her favourite on campus café at Columbia, with her laptop, notebook and art theory textbooks spread out across a small table in the corner. She’d been set up there for most of the day, attempting to get her head around her latest research paper, a steady stream of coffee refills, muffins and a sandwich getting her through the hours. A little after lunch she was joined at the table by her manager, Mark. She attempted to push some of her books to the side to make space for him to rest his coffee on the table, offering him an embarrassed apology.

“I know I’m a mess,” she said. “Thanks again for meeting me here, I was just in the zone and didn’t want to pack everything up to trek across town.”

“All good, hon,” he said. “A meeting is a meeting, regardless of where it is.”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said a few weeks ago about a solo album,” she said, jumping straight to the reason they’d organised to get together. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I mean don’t get me wrong, the response to Over You was incredible but I just don’t think I’m ready to do an album or a tour or anything on my own yet. Please don’t be mad.”

Mark chuckled as she finally took a breath. “I’m not mad,” he promised. “As your manager, it’s my job to help you achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. Do I think a solo career is a smart move for you? Yeah, I do but I’m not going to push you into it if you’re not ready. I kind of figured you weren’t ready yet anyway since we dropped Over You almost 3 months ago and nothing since. Do you know what you want to do instead?”

“I’ve been writing a lot,” Rori said. “So, I think I could probably start churning out demos a lot faster than I was last year. Might need you to find me a guitarist and drummer.”

“I can do that,” Mark replied, typing the note into his phone to follow up later in the day.

“And then I was thinking I’d really like to do some YouTube collabs, but I have no idea how to make that happen.”

“I can reach out to people for you,” Mark said. “Get me a list of people that you’re interested in working with and I’ll see what I can do.”

Aurora smiled in response. “Awesome.”

xXx

Aurora walked through central park late one night in March. It was dark and cold, but she wore a big jacket, but the party at the San Remo had been so loud that even though she’d known it was a bad idea, she’d chosen to walk home from a party. She should have called Happy to come pick her up given the late hour, but it was only a 20 minute walk, and she relished the quite of the park. She was halfway home when she felt someone walking close behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see a tall guy with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head walking close behind her and she quickened her pace, her heartbeat rising and her breathing rapid. She chided herself for being so stupid as to walk through Central Park alone, well after midnight and tried desperately to come up with a plan. She could call her fathers, the tower was only 10 minutes away, closer given the speed of the Iron Man suit, but they would be asleep, and god only knew what this guy would do in the time it took her dad to get to her. It would be useless to scream for help either, there was no one else in the park. She scrolled through the small menu on her StarkWatch, immediately hitting the panic button when it appeared on the screen. She kept walking, not knowing how long it would take for her Dad to wake up, activate the suit and get to her. She just had to hope he arrived before the guy got any ideas.

As if knowing his window of opportunity was closing, he quickened his pace and in an instant, he was right behind her. Suddenly there were hands on her shoulders, and she was pushed towards the ground but when she looked up from where she lay, her would be attacker was running in the opposite direction while a costumed figure stood above her.

“Are you ok?” the guy asked, offering his hand out to help Aurora off the ground. Before Aurora could even thank the man for saving her, she heard the unmistakable sound of repulsors charging up to fire.

“Get away from her,” Tony warned, his voice low and terrifying as he trained the suits weapons on the man in front of her. Aurora scrambled to her feet, throwing her hands out in a peaceful gesture.

“No, no, no, no,” she stammered, “He didn’t attack me. He saved me.” She could imagine the look of confusion she would see on her fathers face if it wasn’t shielded behind the Iron Man faceplate.

“I’m Spider-Man, by the way,” the costumed man offered. “Huge fan, Mr Iron Man, sir.”

“Jesus how old are you?” Rori asked, swinging around to look at her saviour.

“Aaaah,” was the only response she got in reply. “I gotta go, glad you’re safe.”

Before he even finished speaking, she watched in awe as he shot some kind of rope from his hand and used it to pull himself off the ground and swing away and out of sight.

“What the fuck?” Rori mumbled, turning back to her father to see the faceplate retract.

“Did he hurt you?” Tony asked, concern clear in the set of his brow.

“No, I’m ok,” she promised as he grabbed her around the waist and took off for the tower. They arrived on the balcony a minute later and Tony placed his daughter back on her feet as the suit begin to recede from his body.

“What happened?” he asked, following her into the kitchen and watching as she set about making a cup of tea to settle her nerves, shaking his head when she gestured to a second mug. She explained as the kettle boiled and then took a seat at the island bench, her mug clutched in her hands. “What were you thinking walking home on your own this late?”

“I know,” Rori mumbled. “I know it was stupid. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Tony said softly. “I’m just glad nothing happened. Although I can tell you right now, tomorrow I’m gonna find out who this Spider-Man is because if he’s gonna be out there doing the crime fighting thing he’s gonna need a real suit and back up or he’s gonna get himself killed.”

True to his word, Tony did find Spider-Man and after showing up unannounced at Peter Parkers front door 2 days later, he invited the teenager to the tower.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

#skyfire #skyfire fic #aurora stark #dad!tony #iron dad #step dad steve rogers #stony #stony fic #boyfriend harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #superfamily #harry styles #tony stark

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honeymoonjin · 6 years

Text

roll credits - a jungkook x reader oneshot

A/N: This is dedicated to the lovely @xilee-reaper. I’m sure you have a string of happy days just around the corner, and I hope you see that cute barista again ;)

Bad luck always seemed to have momentum. You’d have a good run for a week, a month, six months, but the moment something went really bad, it would set off a chain reaction of rubbish that just got worse and worse.

The thing that would finally make you lose it, the thing that currently had you muffling sobs in the back of a movie theater over, was never the true source of the problem. It was just the final straw that broke the camel’s back. An accumulation of all the heartache that was building up before.

Any other time and you would’ve been a little disappointed. Slightly angry, maybe. But you had had such an awful few weeks that when your friend failed to show up to the movie you were meant to go to together, you completely lost it.

Crying quietly was an art you had the misfortune of mastering, and you managed to scrounge up enough tissues and jacket sleeve fabric to wipe away most of the snot on your face, but no matter how silently you were while angry, upset, overwhelmed tears streamed down your face, nothing could hide you from the ugly reality that the movie attendant who waved their torch over the audience midway through the movie definitely saw you.

This fact, of course, only made you more miserable, and the remaining 80 or so minutes of the cheesy blockbuster comedy dragged by solemnly, every laugh from the audience feeling like a party you weren’t invited to.

By the time the credits rolled, your face felt like a swamp, your eyes swollen, and a headache was forming in the center of your forehead from screwing your face up. You knew at some point you would have to leave, but surely you could wait out the credits, as guests filed out, shuffling awkwardly past your legs and the seat in front of you, you trying to hide your shame by shoving your head into your backpack, pretending to look for something.

While you were doing so, you pulled out your phone to check your messages.

Your friend hadn’t even replied to your message asking where she was, although the little icon below the chat told you she had read it.

You sent a follow up message with shaky fingers, feeling a new wave of despair overwhelm you. It was probably a misunderstanding, you were sure, but you had been really looking forward to spending time with her, and…

You glance up when someone taps you on the shoulder.

There’s a guy in front of you, red waistcoat and black pants, crouching down so that he’s closer to your eye level.

You wipe your eyes and nose hurriedly, trying to blink down any tears about to fall. As you clear your throat so you can apologize, you notice everyone else has already left.

You curse yourself. He probably wanted you to hurry up and get out so that he could clean up.

Feeling even worse than you did before, you almost bowl him over in your rush to get up out of your seat.

“Woah, woah, woah,” he exclaims, holding his hands out in front of him, “don’t go running off, now. I was just about to offer you some free food.”

“Sorry, what?” You frown at him, but for the first time, you’ve actually looked at him properly. Under his soft brown fringe, he has big, round eyes and a soft smile. Fuck, and he’s hot too. That’s just embarrassing.

He grins up at you, then pulls himself back up to stand. He’s much taller than you, but he still seems to have a boyish charm about him. “It seemed like you missed most of the movie. I figure it’s my duty as an attendant to ensure patrons have the best moviegoing experience, and I can’t do that if they walk away without knowing a single plot point. There’s a movie starting in fifteen minutes so we can’t stay here, but if you have nowhere to be, I can take you to our staffroom and give you a recap. There’s plenty of food and drink in there, if you want.”

You sniff, a little ashamed that he’s talking to you while you still probably look like a sick goblin. “I don’t know, I don’t want to bother you, I’ll just get out of your hair.”

He places a hand between your shoulder blades, and you jump a little at the contact, but he simply puts a little pressure there and escorts you out of the row, and down the stairs to the exit. “Listen, I can’t let a pretty girl like you leave the theatre miserable. It wasn’t even a sad movie! I promise you my dramatic reenactment will be just as good, if not better, than the acting on the screen. Let’s go,” he encourages gently.

You find yourself being led by him through a staff-only entrance, to an empty, somewhat small staffroom. He makes you a hot chocolate from the stuff they have in the cupboards, and presents it to you in an old, cracked mug.

The heat radiating into your hands cheers you up enough to stop sniffling, but you still feel a little sorry for yourself.

Here this good-looking guy is, taking you in like charity, being nice when he definitely didn’t have to. He sits down next to you with his own drink, a little carton of flavored milk with a mini plastic straw, and turns to you. “By the way, my name’s Jungkook. I hope you don’t think this is weird, I just hated seeing you so upset.”

You rustle up enough energy to smile at the concerned look in his eyes. “It’s really sweet of you. I don’t deserve it, but I appreciate it. I’m Y/n, by the way,” you add, copying the intonation he used.

He nudges your shoulder playfully. “Well then, first up, there are a lot of female characters, so don’t laugh at me when I do their voices, okay?” You chuckle weakly and nod. “Let’s get started. So, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away,” he begins, and breaks off with a laugh when you give him an unimpressed look. “Okay, okay, you got me! I’ll be serious this time,” he promises.

For the next half an hour or so, he delves into all the intricacies and layers of the shitty comedy you had attended, affecting a high-pitched tone for the female characters, adding in his own theories and complaints about the plot, and providing various sound effects and facial expressions.

You find yourself feeling lighter than you have in probably months, sipping mug after mug or hot chocolate, Jungkook jumping up to dutifully refill it every time, and you thank whatever urge had compelled him to approach you exactly when you needed it most.

“And of course, Tania can’t go to the client’s dinner, because then Kyle would find out she actually stayed in the country instead of being invited to live with her fiancé (who isn’t really her fiancé) like she said she was, but at the same time, she has to go otherwise her boss is going to fire her. So, what does she do? She gets Natalie, you know, the friend with the ugly dog, to dress up like a robber and kidnap Kyle so that he misses the client dinner. Classic Tania,” he exclaims dramatically, and you giggle at the way he emphasizes it like it’s an obvious fact. “But then Natalie’s dog finally chews through his leash like he’s been trying to do the whole film, and he’s all like ruhruhruh going mental, trying to find Natalie, and he gets into the room she’s holding him in, and Kyle recognizes the dog, and then he goes to Natalie, “I know it’s you, Cabbage Girl. Now let me out of these goshdarn ropes!” So, Natalie lets him go, but she tells him everything that’s happened, and he realizes that the woman he loves is still in the city, and that she’s not actually engaged with that dickhead Brian. And then Natalie and Kyle go crash the client dinner, and he declares his love for Tania, and then they make out, but PG make out, you know? And the movie ends with the dog catching up to them and bowling over Tania and Kyle and everybody laughs and then roll credits, because that’s the piece of shit movie you paid for and didn’t watch,” he lets out an exhaustive sigh when he finishes. “You know what, it was probably a good thing you didn’t actually watch the movie. You dodged a bullet, really.”

You put your mug down on the laminated coffee table in front of you. “I really should get better taste in movies,” you offer.

He grins at you. “I beg to differ; you clearly have amazing taste in movies since this movie was so bad you bawled your eyes out for the whole runtime.” He blinks and purses his lips. “That was too soon, wasn’t it?”

You laugh at him. “It’s okay, I feel much better now.”

His smile returns, though softer this time. He wraps an arm around you and squeezes your shoulder in a brief but genuine side-hug. “I’m glad,” he answers sincerely.

You take a deep breath in and exhale, pleased that it no longer shakes and wobbles like before. “I should get going now.” You gently remove his arm from around you but hold on to his fingers when you stand up, swinging them slightly to and fro between you. “Thank you. Really, thank you.”

He nods in understanding, but his eyes glimmer cheekily. “You know, that new comedy with the chick from Bridesmaids came out yesterday, and I can assure you it’s much more worth your time. I recommend the Wednesday night showing.”

You feel yourself begin to blush, and you can’t hold back a happy grin. “Why, are you working Wednesday night?”

“On the contrary. I won’t be working, so I can sit right next to you.”

#bts au #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts oneshot #jeongguk x reader #jungkook x reader

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junker-town · 5 years

Text

A conversation with Nick Eh 30, the Fortnite streamer who signed with Twitch

Nick Eh 30 is one of the most recognizable Fortnite players on the planet, and he’s making the move to Twitch September 1.

Nick Eh 30, YouTube’s top Fortnite streamer, announced Thursday that he partnered with Twitch and will begin streaming on the Amazon platform. Creative Artists Agency (CAA) orchestrated the deal for Nick Eh 30 and Twitch.

The announcement comes almost a month after Ninja left for Mixer, which is run by Microsoft. Nick Eh 30, repped by CAA, will still post gameplay videos and vlogs on his channel, which has over 4.6 million subscribers. But the move is a significant pick-up for Twitch after losing esports’ biggest name in Ninja.

If you aren’t familiar with Nick Eh 30, he’s known for more than just his Fortnite skills. His manners and family-friendly content are what he’s built his foundation on, along with funny moments, and unbelievable tricks on the world’s most popular video game.

He took time to talk to SB Nation about his move to Twitch, his perfect manners, and why he microwaves his ice cream, among other interesting food habits.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

For some people who are reading this and might not know who you are, tell us how you got started in gaming.

Nick Eh 30: It started with trying to prioritize school. From junior high to high school, I was getting straight As. On top of this, I was doing Taekwondo, guitar lessons and many other extracurricular activities. When I do something, I want to do something to the best of my ability, so the main thing I wanted to do was become a doctor. Eventually, I stopped doing all those extracurricular activities. I wouldn’t really do much outside, I didn’t have too much of a social life or anything, I didn’t really go with friends.

So naturally, I had to take breaks from studying. Video games were my quick break, my quick little getaway from school, and then I could get right back into it and really, really grind. Eventually, this kind of turned into a love and a passion that I wanted to share.

When I was in university and high school, I would be uploading videos just for fun. People would say, “Nick, you make my day, thank you for making this, thank you for making me laugh.” It made me really happy, and I loved editing and recording, and it basically kept going on from there.

My parents gave me a year to take a break from university. They would support me, and if I became successful [at something], I could keep on doing it. If not, I’d have to go back to school and become a doctor.

Live streaming took off around the time of Fortnite, and I had a little bit of talent on Fortnite when most people were very new to the game and didn’t catch on as quickly. People really liked tuning into my streams because I share tips and tricks and because I was walking through my thought process. It just kept spiraling up from there and growing, growing, growing, and here I am today.

View this post on Instagram

Nothing better than Fortnite with friends! @sanchowest

A post shared by Nick Eh 30 (@nickeh30) on Aug 7, 2019 at 12:21pm PDT

Obviously, there’s no sure thing in this world, so what was it like taking time away from school since that’s not a traditional move? Were there any nerves there?

NE30: Oh yeah, and before then, school was my bread and butter. That was my happiness, that was what I relied on. When I started to do a little bad in school — like I wasn’t performing like I used to because I was just burnt out on it — it got me feeling a little down and nervous. That was my future up until I thought, “OK, maybe I could do YouTube.” When I started doing YouTube, I was a lot happier. It was scary, but I would say because of the hard work I was a little more confident.

Was there one thing that really helped your channel take off, or was it just about consistently putting out good content that people knew was going to be there?

NE30: One big thing was streaming early in the morning when every other big streamer on YouTube was offline. I would be a streamer with like 200 viewers, but I was the top streamer because everyone was offline. Everyone who was getting 10,000 viewers, 15,000 viewers, they were all gone. I was making sure to get up early — 5 a.m. — every single day, which transitions into another point: consistency. Literally took no breaks — seven days a week, five hours in the morning at the time, five hours at night at the time. It was just an early-morning stream every single day, and an afternoon stream every single day. So I think those were the two big things.

Your move to Twitch is obviously a big deal, and the timing shouldn’t be lost on anybody with Ninja’s recent move to Mixer. I’m curious for you, as somebody who’s built up a huge following on YouTube — were there any nerves in making that switch? You’ll still do videos and vlogs on YouTube, so those followers won’t go to waste. But you still have to hope those people move over to Twitch.

NE30: Twitch has been so accommodating, and they’re making sure that all of the loyalty badges and tenures of my members will be getting transferred over, and it’s the first time they’ve done this for anyone. So my entire community — if they’ve been supporting me — that recognition will still be there on Twitch. That’s one thing that makes me really confident. Another thing is that — you know, I’ve worked really, really hard to build up a community and have a family-friendly community. And you could almost say I’ve become friends with my audience and with my community. A lot of them really really support me, and I’m just focused on the fact that I get some incredible support. I’m going to try to entertain and do the best that I can to entertain people that want to follow me, and I absolutely know that a lot of people will. Because at the end of the day, it’s still going to be the same me. Nothing has changed — it’s just the platform that changed.

youtube

You mentioned having a family-friendly stream — one of the things you are known for is your manners. Please and thank you. How did that become such a staple for you?

NE30: This was just one of those things when I’d be interacting with my chat. As with any chat, [fans] try to help you. They’ll try to say, “Nick, you missed that!” or “Nick, go back there!” And the way I interpret it — because with text online, it’s hard to interpret tone and how people are saying things. I was interpreting it as rude, and I explained to them how I interpreted their messages, and I’m like, “Guys, maybe add a please and thank you on the end, and I’d be more than willing to do what you guys are asking me to do.” I would reinforce that behavior in the chat, only responding to people who would say please and thank you, and then eventually it just kind of became a thing that people recognize me for and think that it’s all I say.

Is it hard to keep that same energy all the time? In the streams that I’ve watched, you’ve always been chill and happy even when things might not go your way. Your “tired” is a lot of people’s peak energy. How do you maintain that?

NE30: I think it’s a combination of things. No. 1 is just being grateful for what you have. Every day before I start my stream, I’m like, “Oh my God. Wow. I get to live a dream job, I get to play video games for a living.” That definitely helps keep you motivated.

Another thing is I know that so many kids are watching that I want to try to set as good of an example as I can. I get so many emails where people say, “Nick, I’m so glad that I can turn on your stream with my five-year-old in the room and not have to worry about you swearing or getting angry.” I always think of those moments, and I’m like, “OK, keep it cool. You get to live an amazing life, an amazing job.” And I just want to try to set the best example that I can and influence people in a positive way.

I know many people just want to watch the best Fortnite players possible, and obviously you’re one of them —

NE30: Thank you very much!

But I think part of the entertainment value of your stream is when your parents get involved. What’s that like?

NE30: With my parents, my mom, she’ll help even behind the scenes. She just does so much, and I think it’s kind of nice to get them involved. I really enjoy that, and it gives people another way to relate.

youtube

Do you ever show up to these events with people screaming “please and thank you” and just stand there and tell yourself, “I can’t believe this is my life”?

NE30: [laughs] The last fan meet-up I did at the Fortnite Pro-Am, there were so many people. Not everybody was able to get a picture because the line was so big, and people were waiting around the fence and screaming, “Please and thank you!” I got everyone to do push-ups outside in 35-degree weather [95 degrees Fahrenheit]. The fact that I can do that and inspire people in a positive way through fitness doing push-ups — I mean, it will never get old, and I’m just always so grateful that I can do that, and I want to continue to be the best example of a person that I can.

Most consecutive push-ups you’ve ever done?

NE30: I don’t know if you’d believe this, but when I was younger I would do push-ups every single day. When I was lighter and younger, I’m talking 14, I would do 200 push-ups in a row. The most I’ve done recently is about 80.

Whenever we cross paths, I’m challenging you to a push-up competition.

NE30: Bring it! You better come prepared!

I’m going to get into the hard-hitting questions here because I am a big important journalist. Can you please explain why you microwave your ice cream?

NE30: OK, let me do some clearing up here: people think I microwave my ice cream to the point where it’s melted, like completely melted and it’s a liquid —

Can I stop you right there for a second? Because in your Twitch announcement video, that looked like SOUP!

The Big Announcement! https://t.co/osyFjCi6Ve pic.twitter.com/SYfPVUbuet

— Nick Eh 30 (@NickEh30) August 29, 2019

NE30: [laughing] That was definitely overdone! I want you to think of McDonald’s or Dairy Queen soft-serve ice cream. It’s a soft type of ice cream versus the tub that you get, and it’s rock-hard frozen. It’s like taking a piece off the side of the top versus in the center — the side is usually a little more melted and a little more soft.

That’s fair because I don’t microwave mine, but I do need a more solid consistency, where it’s almost chewy? It’s weird, I don’t know, but that video took me out, man. I was like, “There’s no way that was appetizing, even for him.”

NE30: I had to do that take like 20 times to get it right, and it was only in there for like 0.5 seconds. But I took like 20 bites of that melted, disgusting ice cream.

Were you actually throwing that down, or were you spitting it out for each take?

NE30: I was actually eating it because I didn’t want to make a mess. We didn’t have another bowl, but yeah, I was eating it all. I probably gained a solid pound by the time I left.

Do you have any other weird food habits? Not that that one’s really weird, but just others where it’s like “what are you doing?”

NE30: I pour the milk before the cereal.

That’s a problem.

NE30: That’s a problem, I know. I’ve heard that from a lot of people. When I have tea in the morning — when I was younger anyway, not anymore — but I’d have tea as well as some toast, with peanut butter on the toast. I would dip the peanut butter and toast into the tea, so it would almost get soft and mushy, and then you take it out, and you bite it, and it’s consumed in the tea, so it’s moist. It’s pretty gross now that I think about it, but that’s what I used to do.

Would you do that today?

NE30: I mean, honestly I wouldn’t mind doing it. It definitely tastes good. I think it sounds gross, but it tastes good. But I don’t do that anymore.

You should do that on stream one of these days, just for old time’s sake. A throwback Thursday, if you will.

NE30: It would definitely trigger a lot of people, so only when I’m feeling extra positive. [laughs]

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kayleygoestolondon · 5 years

Text

Hola, Spain!

I’ve just logged on and realized that I haven’t posted since last summer... eek. In my defense, I didn’t travel anywhere exciting the first half of the school year, and by the time I went to Paris and Morocco, I thought people had surely lost interest in reading my posts. We have more important things to read about! Brexit! Donald Trump’s latest tweets! What bizarre name Kim Kardashian will give her newest baby! However, I had such an incredible time in Spain and Portugal that I figured I might as well write it down. Even if my grandparents are my only devoted readers, it’ll make a good memento for me to reflect on fondly when I’m 80 years old in a retirement centre in Camrose.

My latest trip began with arguably the best flight I’ve ever had. Since I usually fly alone, I’m always stuck sitting beside one of the following Flight Ruiners™:

Crying infant who will not be soothed

Severely overweight person who insists on taking up most of my personal space

Armrest hogger

Somebody with a terrible illness (most likely the plague or Ebola) that coughs and sneezes the entire flight

NOT THIS TIME! I was seated with two guys from central London who were on their way to Barcelona for a bachelor party. At first, I expected the worst: when I flew to Morocco, an entire bachelor party boarded the plane at 6 AM already drunk and proceeded to be the most obnoxious human beings I’ve ever encountered for three hours. These guys redeemed my faith in good old British lads. They chatted with me the whole way about travel and insisted I have a drink with them to celebrate being hired at a new job! They even paid, which was great, because I am the stingiest person in the world and would never pay for a beer on a flight. It’s also part of my personal vendetta against RyanAir. When we arrived in Barcelona, it was after midnight and pouring rain, so they offered to share their cab with me to make sure I got to my AirBnB safely. Chivalry isn’t dead after all!

My friends from Canada (Dillon, Candice, and Bal) were waiting up for me at the AirBnB with McDonald’s chicken nuggets and a batch of questionable homemade sangria. If that isn’t a welcome, I don’t know what is.

BARCELONA

We had breakfast at the cutest tiny cafe and I had the best omelette of my life made by an equally cute and tiny Spanish woman. Also discovered that “cafe con leche” (Spanish coffee with milk) is pretty delicious.

We did a walking tour of the city and learned lots of interesting historical facts while seeing some of the main sights. On the tour, we met some other Canadians so we went for drinks with them afterwards. What a small world.

Discovered you can go into a store and buy an entire jug of wine. Or, if you’re an efficient on-the-go type of person... wine juice boxes.

Checked out the Sagrada Familia. I’ve been to nearly every famous cathedral in Europe (#humblebrag) and this was the best one. If you go to Barcelona, it is 100% worth seeing.

Walked up to Parc Guell, which has a beautiful view over the city. Fun fact: the park was designed by Gaudi, the same designer of the Sagrada Familia. If you’re gonna read this all the way through, you bet I’m gonna give you some unrequested knowledge. His architectural style is pretty distinct and I really loved seeing how those elements were incorporated into the design of the park.

Hopped in the car and prepared for the first portion of our journey. This is where it’s really important for me to note that we started our trip with “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under” by Shania Twain (more like Shania SPAIN, am I right? lololol). This song did not leave our heads for the entire week. I’m not exaggerating. We sang it constantly. In the car. At the beach. In the bar. SHANIA TWAIN EVERY DAY.

DRIVING IN SPAIN

Since Spain drives on the right side like we do (sorry UK friends, but the left side is stupid and I will fight you about it), it was pretty easy to navigate... excluding the massive traffic circles with stoplights in them and no lanes marked. We circled those in terror, not knowing what we were doing but somehow avoiding collisions.

There are tolls EVERYWHERE. We paid 40 euros in tolls between Barcelona and Valencia, which is a toll-tally ridiculous amount (lol, I’m not even sorry for these jokes)

The highways are really well-maintained, but are virtually empty. We encountered almost no traffic at all and didn’t see any police either. Dillon did not take advantage of this and drove a respectable speed the whole way, rather than living out our Fast & The Furious fantasy

The Spanish countryside is really gorgeous. It’s much more mountainous than I realized, particularly the areas that we drove through. We got some really stunning scenic views along the way.

We all had important roles within the car. Dillon was the Driver, I was the Navigator/DJ, Candice and Bal were the backseat Snoozers and Snack Providers. This meant that Dillon was the MVP of the trip, because he drove without any road rage at all (how is that even possible... my driving is just like a constant stream of swearing), whereas my sole contribution was playing 500 Miles by the Proclaimers as often as possible.

VALENCIA

We had the unfortunate timing of arriving Valencia just as a massive football game was ending; Valencia had won against Barcelona to win the Copa Del Rey. The streets were swarming with people and the honking was endless. Easily the second-most stressful part of our drive. Want to know the worst one? READ ON FOR MORE (#clickbait)

Spent our whole day there at the beach. The weather was great, if not a bit windy, and Dillon was magically transformed into a red lobster thanks to the sunshine. We all went home with sand everywhere. I think I still had some in my ears at the end of the trip.

We enjoyed beers and a selection of meats and cheeses on the beach. We ate so much meat and cheese during this week. You may be thinking, “Meat and cheese seem very impractical to eat on the beach because of all the sand”, and you would be CORRECT... but sandy cheese is better than no cheese.

There were no toilets or change stalls at the beach so we had to go on a bit of an excursion to find somewhere. We eventually infiltrated a fancy hotel to use their lobby bathroom. Candice and Bal got caught going in the second time when the concierge asked if they “had enjoyed the toilettes, and would they perhaps now like to pay for something from the hotel bar”. They ran away. Classic escape!

We sampled a traditional Spanish drink, horchata, which is a “plant-based milk drink” according to Wikipedia. Sounds appealing, right? We collectively hated it. That’s what we get for trying something non-alcoholic. Therefore, it was logically much safer to stick with beer for the rest of the trip. At least, that’s what I told myself.

GRANADA

En route to Granada, we passed through a place called Lorca. High on top of a mountain, we could see a massive fortress. We spontaneously decided to drive up there and check it out. Turns out Castillo de Lorca was built in the 9th century and is one of the largest castles in Spain. Super cool... and we were the only tourists there!

Most Stressful Driving Moment: leaving Lorca Castle. Obviously because it’s on top of a mountain, the roads coming down were windy and steep. Our Google Maps got confused and took us down a side road into this local area that was hellishly narrow and we ended up going down a road that was like a 75 degree angle. I had visions of us driving our poor Volkswagen Polo off the edge of the cliff. Dillon, ever the stoic hero, got us out of it while I panicked and failed at asking locals for directions.

Our apartment in Granada was in the historic part of the city, within the old city walls. Think super tiny, winding cobblestone streets with high buildings. It was very charming, if not excessively sweaty climbing all the stairs. Good thing there was beer at the top!

In the evening, we went for a really great traditional dinner and then to a flamenco show. Definitely one of the highlights of the trip for me. For some reason, the waiter did not seem to think we were capable of drinking 2L of sangria when we first placed our order. We proved him wrong.

We sampled churros with chocolate the next morning. This is apparently quite a traditional thing and honestly I could eat it every day for the rest of my life. Who doesn’t want to start their day with deep-fried dough and chocolate dip?

As we left Granada, we stopped at Alhambra Palace & Gardens. It was founded in 889 AD and mostly constructed in the 13th century. The gardens were stunning and were more impressive than anything I’ve seen before, including the gardens of the Taj Mahal. (#humblebrag2)

SEVILLE

It was a long walk from our AirBnB to the centre of Seville and it was about 35 degrees out, so we punctuated our stroll with frequent beer stops. This meant that we were feeling pretty good by the time we arrived at the Plaza de Espana. Some scenes from Game of Thrones were filmed here, so you could probably add our names to the credits now.

We then had the best seafood paella and sangria at a local restaurant! The paella was HUGE... and we ate all of it. No regrets.

Seville was one of the friendliest places I’ve ever been. When we went for breakfast the next morning, we went to a local cafe where literally nobody spoke any English. The manager seemed really excited that we were there and got us our own separate table. There was no menu, so we managed to communicate that he could bring us whatever he wanted. We got this awesome selection of incredible sandwiches and he checked to make sure we were happy with them. Everywhere we went, people were super eager to please and would joke around with us, despite the language barrier. I’d go back here in a second.

FARO

We crossed the border into Portugal after leaving Seville and made a pitstop at Praia de Faro. It’s a small island that’s basically just beautiful beach and little bars and restaurants. We had some great beach time and beers because it was a scorching 37 degrees. Dillon attained an even higher level of lobster.

Women on the beaches of Spain and Portugal often go topless... so when we asked a stranger to take a photo of the four of us on the beach, I realized afterwards that there was a mostly-naked lady in the background. Thank goodness for Photoshop; I made that disappear.

LISBON

People in Portugal speak better English than people in Spain. I only managed to learn two words in Portuguese: “cerveja” (beer) and “obrigada” (thank you). I got along with those pretty well :)

The metro system in Lisbon is super easy and efficient, so for the first time we took advantage of public transit and spared ourselves walking everywhere in the extreme heat

When we went out for dinner that evening, we discovered that boiled meats are pretty standard in Portuguese cuisine. This was not my favourite :( On the other hand, Portuguese custard tarts (pasteis de nata) are phenomenal.

We checked out the seaside and a couple of cool markets. We also took a walking tour here to learn more about the city. Our tour guide recommended a super cool bar underneath a church. There was some kind of street festival going on, so there were outdoor bars and decorations everywhere. We explored that and then ended at an outdoor cinema.

I had to get up at 4:30 the next morning to get an Uber to the airport. Note to self: next time I have an early flight, don’t have so many cervejas the night before. Lesson learned.

If you’ve made it this far, wow - you probably need a hobby! This trip was so much fun and so interesting; I really wanted to take the time to tell the story. If you haven’t been to Spain or Portugal, maybe I’ve convinced you to go. I couldn’t recommend it enough. I owe the biggest thank you to Dillon, Candice, and Bal for being my travel companions and for making me laugh a million times during the trip. What an amazing final experience before I head back to Canada in August :)

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