right where you left me- Steve Rogers
I decided I’m going to make a series based on Taylor Swift songs. I feel like I’m months late to this, but it’s fine
song: right where you left me- Taylor Swift
wc: 451
warnings: angst
It seemed as though you were the only one he didn’t tell. You watched as Bucky’s posture slouched as Steve disappeared into the past. Sam’s eyes were glued to the grass, clearly trying to avoid any sort of contact. It was obvious that something was wrong. Bruce counted down from five, and you anticipated Steve’s return. When Steve never came, you could feel your heart drop.
“Bruce?” you questioned. “Bruce, where’s Steve?”
Sam and Bucky stayed silent. Bruce frantically clicked different buttons, doing anything and everything in his power to retrieve his friend. Bruce looked up from the control board, his eyes holding clear sadness. You knew what this meant.
His gaze shifted over to the water, the small bench occupied by a frail grey-haired man. Sam and Bucky walked towards him, and that’s when you knew. Your Steve left you. Your feet betrayed you as they stayed planted on the grass, unmoving. You watched as Sam and Bucky talked to him individually. When the two finished, he turned around to face you completely. He pushed himself off of the bench and slowly walked towards you. You wanted to run, you wanted to pretend that your Steve was going to come back to you.
“Y/N,” he croaked. His voice had aged; it was old, tired.
“Please tell me this is a sick joke,” you pleaded. The tears welled in your eyes, blurring your vision.
“I’m sorry it had to be this way,” he practically whispered.
“You left me. You left me for her,” you cried.
“I’m sorry.”
“Is that all you have to say? You’re sorry? You told me that- that we were forever. You proposed to me, Steve, yet the second you get the chance to go back to Peggy, you do.” you choked out. Your heart broke over the thoughts that coursed through your head. You slipped the small diamond band and threw it to the ground. “Did you ever even love me?”
“You know I did.”
“Then how could you leave me?”
“Because I know you’ll be okay. You still have Bucky and Sam, Y/N. You’re an amazing person that has such an amazing life in front of you,” he said as he grabbed your hands.
You pulled your hands out of his loose grip, “You didn’t have the right to make that decision for me, Steve.” You took a step back, putting physical and mental distance between you two.
“I love you, Y/N, forever and always.”
“I guess our ideas of forever are different.” You turned around and began to walk away, your heart breaking even more with every step you took.
You turned and looked at his face one last time. “Goodbye, Steve.”
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Fuelled by Hope
WARNING: ENDGAME SPOILERS!
In which Steve comes back after returning the infinity stones, but is soon lost again to the fabrics of space and time...
A/N: there’s been some really fab, inspiring, talented fanfics/au/imagines written about the MCU so I thought I’d contribute and try to help everyone else heal from the pain that was Endgame. (not my gif)
On the day of Tony Stark’s funeral you were not only morning the loss of Iron Man, but Captain America too. Steve Rogers was teleported back in time in the late hours of the afternoon, with one sole mission to return the infinity stones.
He was due back approximately ten seconds later, and you feared this wouldn’t be the case. You knew Steve had seen Peggy on the day you collected the stones, his eyes were foggy and dull from the moment you returned to the Avengers base. It was then that you knew, if he were to survive the war, he would return to that exact moment and live his life and he always wanted to. It was then that you lost faith in him – or more so, how you felt for him.
Still, after ten seconds he hadn’t returned. You began to pace back and forth, your mind numb to the shouts of Bruce and Sam. He wouldn’t come back. Your Steve was going to spend the rest of his days with his Peggy. And he deserved it, he deserved to live a life without sacrifice.
You began to turn, walking towards an empty wooden bench which overlooked the green lake. A perfect place to mourn the death of a life you could’ve spent with Steve Rogers.
“Steve?” You hear a voice mutter. Instantly you turn, faced with Captain America – not a single hair out of place. Your knees almost give way, and your heart lurches so far into your chest you think you might choke on it. All those memories, all those worries… faded. Steve was back from his mission, a mission you never thought would end.
He stumbles down from the metal stage below him, eyes red and skin white. You walk towards him, reaching for his arms as he almost fell onto you. “Steve are you okay?” Bruce chimes again from next to you. Sam appears at his other side, holding his body up.
Steve nods, his eyes finding yours. His cheeks return to their normal colour, pupils dilating as he inhales. “I’m fine,” he smiles, eyes ghosting over each of you. Eventually the blue orbs land on Sam. “I have something for you,” he breathes, handing him a round leather case. Inside was the shield, Cap’s shield, in perfect condition.
“How did you-“
“Long story. But it’s yours now, you deserve it,” he grins breathlessly. Sam eyes him; confused, overwhelmed, shocked, unsure whether Steve was joking.
“I can’t take this from you, I…”
Steve pushes the shield towards him, handing over its history, legacy. Sam’s fingers touch the cold leather, taking it in his grasp as if it is the most precious thing in the world – which to him, it was. You see his eyes glaze over as he takes Steve into his arms and holds him tightly.
After that you decided to give him a chance to speak to Bucky. They hadn’t had the chance to be alone, to talk of all the stories they had yet to share. After all, you had all the time in the world to speak to him, a thought which warmed you.
So you take a seat on the desolate bench, looking out over the water. The sun was just beginning to set, casting an orange glow across the sight before you. You almost forget where you were, or more importantly, who you were.
“Hi,” Steve sighs, sitting beside you. You study his face carefully, his skin was tired and worn, eyes grey and grief-struck. He was every element of a broken man, but was still as handsome as the day you met him.
“You saw her again, didn’t you?” You ask softly, careful not to break him. He lowers his head.
“Yeah. I did,” he breathes. A moment passes, silence broken by the sound of birds chirping in the distance.
“Why didn’t you stay?”
“I couldn’t. The guy that went into the ice… he wanted a family, a marriage, a dance. I’m not that same man, and I think only now, I’m beginning to accept that,” he tells you, as if each word is both hurting him yet healing him, giving him a new leash for life. “Plus, I couldn’t leave you all. Especially you.”
You take your hand in his, sitting in silence. He brings the back of your palm up to his lips, and kisses your skin ever so lightly. Your best friend, your closest companion, had made another sacrifice – his happiness for yours.
“You shouldn’t have to give everything up, not again. You had a chance to-“
“I didn’t want to go back. The Avengers are my family now, I’m happy here. As happy as I can be.”
You place your head on his shoulder, “what do we do now?”
“We learn to live again,” he sighs his head falling onto yours, “as Tony wanted us to.”
The wind suddenly feels cool, even with the heat of Steve’s body against yours. You stand, “I’m gonna grab us a blanket, I’ll be back.”
You stand between his legs, kissing his forehead. You hold his cheeks in your hands, holding your tears back. “Thank you,” you whisper.
You rush back to your car, grabbing the blanket you kept in your backseat, and return to Steve. Using your superspeed, your there and back in less than a few seconds.
But when you return, Steve isn’t there. Impossible. You shout over to Bruce, who is disambling the equipment. “Hey Bruce, where did Steve go?”
He looks over to you, shrugging. “Hhe was with you? Was he not?”
“He was… a second ago. Have you checked the background radiation levels? Perhaps the frequency of the air particles?” You tell him, running over to his location. He looks at you, a sudden fear spreading across his face.
“Oh god.”
Autumn was slowly dying, the trees bare, ground dusted with orange and brown crisp leaves. It had been a few months since the funeral, yet you were returning to the Stark’s country home to celebrate Thanksgiving. You often hadn’t cared for Thanksgiving, but knowing you and a few other Avengers were requested to join Pepper and Morgan for a feast, well, you couldn’t refuse.
You were driving through the country roads with Bucky and Sam, all silently admiring the sad beauty of the woodlands. Unlike a few others, you had decided to stay at the Avengers headquarters, which now was almost a cold tribute to what you had lost. Still, it allowed you to continue your research on the limitations of space and time, or more specifically, time-travel.
Sam would train often, trying desperately to shadow the moves of the former Captain America, readying himself for the day that post-war peace would become an old memory. Bucky would flitter in and out of the HQ, but always seemed to return home. Bruce on the other hand was continuing his research with Dr Pym. You often met with them to see if there were any breakthroughs on Steve’s whereabouts.
There were none.
You were lost in thought when Sam announced that you had arrived. Upon exiting the car, Morgan rushes towards you with wide arms. “Hi little one,” you smile, picking her up and spinning her around. She squeals with excitement, her arms wrapping around your neck. “You’ve grown!”
“Soon I’ll be as tall as you,” she giggles as you carry her towards the door. Pepper emerges then, a small smile gracing her features. You put Morgan down, allowing her to tackle Bucky’s metal arm.
“Hi,” you greet, hugging her tightly. She embraces you openly. “It smells brilliant in here,” you tell her, inhaling some of the sweet scents drifting through the doorway. She rolls her eyes.
“I wish I could say it was all me, but we’ve had some help,” she laughs, leading you inside.
“So your research into mechanics is going pretty well,” you grin, eyes catching the table adorned with pies, potatoes, carrots, and the biggest turkey you’ve ever seen. She sighs.
“Aside from the kitchen fire, I’d say Tony would be proud,” she nudges you, hands on her hips.
“You really think Tony’s expectations were set so high?” She laughs then, and you fear that the sound of her laughter was a rarity in this house.
“Bruce, Wanda and Thor are all in the kitchen,” she tells you, “help yourself to a drink.”
You find the others in deep conversation. All of them seem happier, as if they’ve accepted what has happened and learned to embrace it. After all, they did save the world.
“Thor! Is that you?” You chime, eyeing his much slimmer figure. He steps towards you and squeezes you.
“Ah, young Y/N, it is good to see you again.”
“You too,” you chuckle, “though if you squeeze me any tighter, it could be the end of me.” He lets you go, hand patting your head. “Been hitting the gym?” You ask.
“Yes well, my travels with the Asguardians of the Galaxy proved to be slightly more strenuous than I first thought,” he smiles, with a sweet promise to explain all after you eat. You then speak with Bruce, catching up briefly. After all, you had only seen each other a week ago when he thought he’d found a breakthrough in forbidden quantum physics.
“Wanda, how are you?”
“I’ve been good. I’ve actually decided that it might be wise to return home to you all,” she sighs. You embrace her.
“Please, it’s been long overdue. Besides, the testosterone is choking me,” you joke.
“Dinner’s ready!” Pepper chimes, and you take Wanda’s arm, both walking through to the dining room.
The meal is wonderful, the room fills with laughter and joy. Happy sits at the end of the table, and looks really… happy. He and Rhodey begin telling tales of Tony, almost reminding you all that he wasn’t there. Almost.
Then it’s Bucky’s turn, he and Sam start bouncing back with stories of Steve and Natasha. Yet you, Wanda, Bruce and Pepper can’t seem to think of anything to say, instead enjoying the stories circulating around the room – some you’d never heard before.
“Did daddy really say that to the Queen of England?” Morgan asks mid-laughter, her eyes brimming with tears. Pepper nods, in stitches herself.
“That’s why he never went back,” Rhodey chuckles, winking at Morgan. Bruce excuses himself from the table, answering a phone call and you decide it’s a good time to help Pepper with the dishes.
“Allow me, honestly Pepper, it’s what I’m built for,” you smile. Using your super speed, you run into the kitchen, cleaning and drying the dishes before Pepper can even protest.
“I don’t know why I try to object,” she sighs, as you hand her a glass of red wine.
“Now sit, and put your feet up!”
The others make their way over to the couches, each close to sleeping their meal off. You’re about to join them, when Bruce appears behind you.
“Y/N, a word?” He asks. You follow him through to the other room.
“What’s up?” You ask, leaning against the wall. He looks at you, silent for a moment. “Bruce, you okay?” You ask, sitting him down on the stairs. He takes a deep breath.
“There’s been a large burst of energy radiating from the forest,” he starts, “in the same location where we lost Steve, the exact coordinates.” You’re about to leave but he touches your arm, “we don’t know what it is, Dr Pym is on his way, I’ll go get the others so just hold on for one second-“
“You’re telling me Steve might be in the woods, possibly injured, and I need to wait for Dr Pym? Bruce, I have to go. I’ll meet you there.”
It’s darker out, the woods casting large shadows across the woodland floor. Still, you would be able to navigate yourself in pitch black. You knew these coordinates off by heart. You had often visited the clearing, whether to conduct some studies or to just think. You knew this location like the back of your hand. And for once you weren’t running from anger or frustration, you were fuelled by hope.
You appear at the bench, frantically searching the area for any sign of Steve. Yet, there was none. You could feel the energy lurking in the air, but as far as you were concerned, that was useless. You sit on the bench, awaiting Bruce’s arrival, only to report nothing. A small part of you was hopeful. But that wasn’t enough to ride on.
Another empty dream. You face the clearing, a stray tear escaping yet again. You mentally reprimand yourself, you’d promised not to cry. Not today. And yet here you were, sobbing. It was almost as if you could still feel Steve’s presence, though it was all in your head.
“Y/N?”
It was all in your head.
“Y/N?”
You stand the second time you hear your name. The voice was too realistic, it was messing with your mind. He wasn’t In front of you. He wasn’t here.
A hand on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to relay the news back to Bruce. Except you’re faced with a pair of blue eyes, instead of green.
“Steve?”
“Hey,” he smiles, his legs buckling from below him. You catch him before he falls, placing him delicately on the floor. You prop his head into your lap, cradling his features. You softly run your fingers through his hair, as he blinks up at you.
“Bruce will be here soon, they’ll be able to look after you just stay awake, okay?” You tell him, brushing the stray hair from his face. He catches your hand in his, bringing your fingers to his lips. He kisses your knuckles delicately, the corners of his mouth picking up.
“I’m fine,” he says, as his eyelids close slowly. You consider leaving him for just a split second, perhaps to bring Bruce to you. But the sound of footsteps tells you to be patient. Be patient.
You kiss his forehead, continuing to comb through his blonde locks as you await for your remaining Avengers to assemble.
Part 2??
I take requests! Preferable MCU atm to fill the hole in my bleeding heart.
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