#english is not my first language either

[xo8ball]

woah i think its been a year since i started suspecting (and identifying) that i have autism, and i feel. glad.

I remember having this horrible, horrible breakdown about not knowing what was "wrong" with me. Nothing ever was wrong with me, i was just different. I just had some things and didnt have some other things, and that made me human and normal, just not like my peers, and i still can and should fit it and be accepted.

Though, this was the longest journey of self acceptance, i've always had a big problem with my own self id, so self dxing was something im always scared of because (by my therapist's words.. yeah i got really mad at that) "my anxiety makes me absorb traits i search up, so i end up believing things that i am not part of or even experienced". Which is totally not true all my whole life i've been the weird, quiet, excellently academic, nerdy, lonely, socially inept queer kid and because i was raised a girl and im "high functioning" (bad label) nobody ever tried to think a little to why i am experiencing bad burnouts in my high school years about social life.

I've always thought autism was a weight, and i kind of still think its heavy on my shoulders. Its not an easy thing to say, for me, that i have autism. its a harsh word in where i live, and other autistic people that my peers know are "low functioning", so they think its dumb comparing the same traits we share because we both have autism, it just expresses differently .

I do have friends and a loving partner, i like to talk and sometimes do a nice small talk, i go to parties (not frequently) and see my family (very frequently). but i get burnouts, i get isolated, i hate ugly specific noises, i get sensory issues, i bond better with individuals with the same characteristics as me, or children, or animals, i have special interests that keep me very happy and talking for hours, im "weird" and say things out of context or un-needed, i have gastrointestinal problems too if that matters (haha), i cant socialize correctly because i show disinterest in some activities, im good at school but i cant function correctly without drawing the whole class because it helps me paying attention while eliminating the art from my brain (last year i got the 2nd place in highest academic score in my class, by drawing the whole year.), i zone out and get uncomfortable by eye contact or physical touch i have not asked, i stim and enjoy repetitive behaviors, i have to listen to my music alone once a day to charge my social battery. i have autism, i am autistic, and im on the spectrum, and i live and breathe and exist because i am human too.

this counts as a vent right? I'll keep on crochet (new interest 🧶)

[whumpeteerscrankli]

Scientist Whumper has been working on his greatest achievement, a superhuman, for years. Initially, he had no reason for creating and enhancing Whumpee, aside from the usual “Research purposes” that motivated most of his other experiments.

Imagine how ecstatic he is to hear that a high-ranking government official is in need of protection. Imagine how pleased he is to be granted the opportunity to finally give Whumpee a purpose.

[kaladinkholins]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.

essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[saelterlude]

Us, In(tense)

Summary: On a random day in the studio, high school seniors Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang are studying for their exams. The subject they’re studying? English. 12 short prose, exploring Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s thoughts and relationship through the English tenses.

Read my new fic!! I worked really hard on it. Click on the title!

It is exactly what it said on the tin, a Link Click fic seen from all the 12 English tenses.

It's a little bit of slice-of-life with a flavor of humor, fluff, and angst. Right before shiguang fluff week starts in 2 weeks.

[red-velvet-0w0]

arlight so i was thinking about the norse god heimdall, and how his death acts as a sort of canary call, the first to die in ragnarok, but with his death warning the others of what is coming. and that got me thinking about, you guessed it, canary!jimmy. And then I thought "but what if life series norse god symbolism" (or maybe even AU not sure)

So I present:

Jimmy - Hiemdall (for afformentioned reasons)

Martyn - Tyr (martin is the Hand to Rendog, Tyr loses his hand to the fenrir wolf)

Rendog - Fenrir wolf

Scar - Loki (he just is okay I cant really explain it)

Grian - Odin (eye themes, omniscience, is the most powerful, complex love hate relationship with loki/scar)

Scott - Frey (god of nature & peace, dies from not having a sword, like how scott refuses to kill)

Joel - Thor (it just fits idk)

Lizzie - Sif (Joels wife, also kinda fits)

BigB - Bragi (god of poetry, bigb is skilled manipulator)

Etho - Ullr (god of hunt, duels, and winter)

Bdubs - Narfi (tricked by odin to turn on brother (impulse))

Cleo - Jormungandr (something about dripping poison into the world feels very on brand for them) (not as an insult) (more as a compliment if anything)

Tango - Mimir (god of inteligence who (depending on the version) dies due to his own actions)

Mumbo - Kvasir (god of innovation and invention)

Skizz - Baldur (hes just a sweet guy who dies too soon)

Impulse - Vali (betrayed by an brother (bdubs) and death lead to "binding" of loki/scar)

Pearl - Hel (she just is)

Gem - Freya (goddes of love but also battle)

[official-chai]

you are swagger but why are you following me or is this because of all the troll videos I watch

~~@spotify-kids-real

"Um..."

he blinks.

"...thanks."

[heartyearning]

My mother studied what was at the time known as Germanic languages and has since been rebranded to language & literature studies which basically means she has a library about three times the size of mine (especially since she, unlike me, is unable to get rid of books) and of course I deeply enjoy perusing said library and found her school copy of Gawain & the green knight full of her notes. Very cool shit.

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

Everybody shits on Ulysses for the way he talks, arguing that he sounds too complicated or something, and I just understood why: english isn't his first language.

During the Honest Hearts DLCs we learn there's tribes with their own languages, and that they can incorporate english, but they will still use their languages.

Ulysses is a tribal. A tribal who had his identity almost erased, but he still maintains it, probably in defiance to the Legion. It would be logical that this speech manners come from not having english as first language, and being taught it in a really improvised and forcible way. It would also make sense that he refused to "speak it properly" out of his desire to maintain his tribal identity.

Such a simple and logical answer, yet everybody refuses to acknowledge Ulysses backstory.

[sneakyneth]

Steddie soulmate Au idea

(I don't know if someone already thought of this but I got the idea after reading this)

So, Soulmate au, Season 4, they have necklace/Chockers that only come off when your soulmate touches it, so when Eddie has the broken bottle against Steve's neck he accidentally touches the choker and it falls down and everyone it's looking at it surprised like "...omg..."

[choki-the-rich-cactus]

Me: You know that cute romance trope where one person in the couple is really bad at playing arcade games so the other would come to the rescue? Like the MC would say ‘Can you win this game for me? Please, I really want the prize’ and the love interest would just win the game in their first try?

Nagireo: That’s not a romance trope. We did that.

Me: You know that sweet trope where the one of them would say something that implied that they are not going to be by their Love interest’s side forever and the LI would say ‘But why not? I thought we will be together till the end?’

Nagireo: Also not a romance trope. We did that.

Me: Oh, you know what’s cute? When couples would wear a couple outfit, or have a cute little gimmick like putting the other’s birthday flower in their suit pocket?

Nagireo: Done and done. So definitely not a couple thing.

Me: or when you would think of that person as an essential thing in your life? Someone you can’t live without?

Nagireo: Nah. Just BFF stuffs.

Me: Or simply just repeatedly think ‘he’s so cool’ ‘he’s so amazing’ ‘I’m so happy’ when ever you breathe the same air as him?

Nagireo: That’s literally what best friends are like.

Me: Either the definition of Best Friend in a dictionary has change without my awareness, or these boys have no idea what a best friend is.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! I am not good at english, so sorry if it's my mistace and I just don't know this (probably), but in case it's a typo - ‘There,’ Sebastian said against his mouth, biting as(at?) his lower lip, and then his neck. Sorry again, if it's correct, not trying to annoy!

Hi anon, thanks for pointing out the typos!

So I usually post the excerpts in advance - and that's often before the chapters are edited! These mistakes were already fixed by the time you saw the excerpt <3333

That doesn't mean there won't be more though lol, if you ever see mistakes in the excerpt it can be worth waiting to still read the chapter because sometimes whole sentences have been changed/tightened from the excerpt that happens here, to the chapter actually being posted (this happens so often I'm surprised folks haven't pointed it out more aslfkjdsa)

The chapter gets more than one pass through from me before it goes up, and excerpts are usually the messiest version of the writing. :D

That being said, if you spot typos in the chapter/s when they go up please feel free to let me know! They still definitely happen.

[goldammerchen]

I Am Not Immune To Ivan's Thighs 🥰

[silversoulstardust]

Hi! I am an artist, and I like your headcanons and the perception of Lawlu! Can I ask you to share some drawing ideas with me? Do you have a story or a scene with Lawlu that you would like to see in "Art"? I'm sorry for the mistakes, I'm writing through a translator!!(

omg I never thought it’d come a day when someone would ask me this 🥺💕

Umm ok where do I start

1. I absolutely love the idea of law and luffy exchanging hearts using law’s ability so they can feel each other all the time, even when they are oceans apart. luffy gets to feel law’s heart beating fast in his chest despite law playing it cool whenever luffy does something cute. law feeling luffy’s heart jumping in frenzy all day because well — luffy’s AuDHD — and then feeling the beat drop down to a steady pace for an extended amount of time. he can tell luffy is probably sleeping somewhere on sunny-go. it lets law know that luffy is safe whenever they’re apart.

2. another specific one that I love is luffy becoming a subject for medical practice for law and chopper. law teaches chopper about anatomy and physical examination for some orthopedic/surgical problems and luffy volunteers as a subject because law can’t exactly be showing it on chopper (as chopper possesses different anatomy) (and while luffy isn’t exactly the best person to represent normal human anatomy he goes “I wanna play with torao and chopper too!” after he got bored of bothering usopp so law has no choice but to concur). luffy absolutely messes with law. he keeps giggling. (“it tickles, torao!”)

law and chopper are in deep discussion as law holds him at odd angles trying to explain some special orthopedic tests to chopper when it all culminates to a point where luffy steals a kiss on law’s lips and grins from ear to ear as if he just win at some game over it heheh (obviously law gets flustered and speechless as luffy skips away to bother his other crews. robin who was watching over them from the upper deck manages to cover chopper’s eyes in the nick of time lol)

3. big spoon luffy, small spoon law. I said what I said :p

4. I’m a big believer that luffy is gonna grow up big and strong like his grandpa and dad. so yeah. law realizing he has to look up to luffy after a long time of not seeing him would be cute lol

5. luffy being oblivious with his PDA with law in front of boa hancock is a funny thought. poor queen having to witness all that 💔

there’s more but um it’s not safe for kids lol so maybe another post for that. I hope you like it and it inspires you to make more art 💕

[dearlexies]

ok, I deleted the other post because god there a lot of typos (don't rely too much on Google translator) sooo i finally plucked up the courage to write a 4433 au, the problem is i had ideas for 8 different aus but i have serious focus and organization issues so i wanted to focus on just 1. Some are just ideas that haven't been written yet, others are already 1 or 2 chapters, others are just the name and a poorly done synopsis. I separated my favorites (and most likely to be made) and I want you to decide which one I should focus on.

1- something started in a getaway car

In this one Jos is forcing Max to have an arranged marriage, but ofc he doesn't want that, so on the day of the wedding Max runs away and ends up getting into Lewis' car, which is cool enough to drive him a long way away. Lewis takes him to a small town and temporarily shelters Max in his house while he is on the run from his father. As the days go by, Max begins to enjoy life away from the city as he slowly falls in love with Lewis and the quiet life he has.

Important information: long-fic, anxiety, past child abuse, single dad Lewis, parental neglect, kinda coffee shop au, found family, probably will be a series with fics of the other drivers.

2- Delicate

This would be after the Vegas GP where Max e Lewis have been in a secret relationship for years until at a party Max ends up drinking too much and ends up making posts on Twitter that imply that he is not straight. his and rbr PR team takes care of this, deleting the posts, paying journalists to not spread this information, and ofc Max says this is just a misunderstanding and that he was hacked, because he wasn't ready to come out. Everything was fine, the dust below and he even thought people had forgotten about it, that is until just as the 2024 season is about to start, pictures of him kissing another man appear. Now the media is on him like hungry sharks, his father is pissed off and is trying to disown him, and all Max wants is Lewis but at the same time he is terrified of dragging him into the madness his life has become, especially knowing everything that the media had done with Lewis over the years, so he tries to pull away and leave him alone even though I know it's not right.

Important information: Long-fic, established relationship, secret relationship, forced coming out, homophobia, anxiety, a little bit of miscommunication, angst with a happy ending, probably a series with fics of others drivers

3- I'm the reporter, baby, you could be the news

Max is a reporter who is covering his first Formula 1 GP, he ends up being responsible for interviewing the drivers who went to the podium and everything was fine until Lewis started looking at him with these lovely eyes, as if were looking at the most beautiful person in the world (like he does in THAT interview) Max doesn't notice at the time because he's so nervous and just trying to do the best he can so he's not really paying attention to Lewis or his answers, but then he comes home and he gets a text from daniel asking if he and lewis were dating and he's super confused because he had never talked to Lewis before, Max asks Daniel where he got the idea and he starts sending out a bunch of twitter posts of people asking who was the reporter and why Lewis was looking at him like that. So he looks at his interview trying to pay more attention to Lewis and he can't deny it, he looks at Max like he's the most beautiful person in the room. When they meet again it's kinda weird, but Max tries to be a little more open in communication and even tries to joke with Lewis about it, and when he flirts and Max blushes the fans go wild and start shipping them and getting really interested in this.

Important information: long-fic, angs/comfort, media being media, stalker (not lewis or max) cyberbullying, past toxic relationship, homophobia

4- We never go out of style

Max is a photographer who gets a last-minute work call to photograph a famous designer's newest collection, he accepts without a second thought, for the money ofc. there he meets a man, who he assumes is one of the models because of his beauty, he's really nice and for some reason is flirting with him?? Max doesn't understand why such a handsome model would be interested in a clumsy photographer like him, but that doesn't stop him from flirting back. While talking with him Max confesses that he didn't like that designer's collection, the model explains the clothing concept, but still Max didn't seem to like it, he looks a little offended but doesn't say anything. When the photo shoot finally ends, Max asks George (who had called him offering the job) why that model was the only one who wasn't being photographed and he reveals that he is not a model but actually the designer Lewis Hamilton. So Max runs over to apologize to him, but of course Lewis still looks a little pissed off. They have a small argument, with Lewis saying that Max has a very close mind for fashion and that he is not able to see the cultural and political messages behind the clothes, Max trying to make a joke (and get them to end this fight on good terms) says that Lewis should teach him about this complex and political world of fashion, and Lewis sees that as a challenge and doesn't think twice before invites Max to the louis vuitton fashion week in Paris.

Important information: long-fic, one bed, slow-burn, mentions of ed, anxiety, past toxic relationship, racism, mentions of transphobia, homophobia

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

I don't know if you've seen the movies but the first one is about wtf Ryder, how you take your traumatized dog to the city that traumatized him and you hope he's okay and in the end he resolves his trauma?? Idk

I like it it's interesting, the second one isn't so much of my favorite maybe it's because I don't think Skye is like that at all. The first movie seemed very Chase to me, but the Skye thing? It didn't seem too much like Skye to me.

But it just my opinion. :D

Yeah I didn't get to watch the movies yet because I only started watching Paw Patrol last month and I'm trying to do this in the "correct sequence" for seasons, specials and movies. I just started 5th season last night, and from what I saw, I'll watch the first movie after the 8th season, so YEAH, LONG ROAD AHEAD FOR ME YET

But I've seen some gifs here and there around Tumblr AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT'S THE SAME IMPRESSION I HAVE SO FAR ABOUT THE FIRST MOVIE LMAOOOO ALL I SEE IS CHASE IN DISTRESS AND I'M LIKE RYDER WHAT ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU GIVING YOUR CHILD ANXIETY

[keirientez]

honestly its so great to learn italian now bc there were words that my mind keeps on messing up with and now ik this doesnt mean that anymore for example mare ring in which ik mare means sea from the one explanation of the tri ni sett being rainbow shell sea bla bla bla but i keep thinking of horses and once my brain went too far and thought of the chances of cavallone and millefiore being families which split from the same ancestors