#ep: 164

[ddf-deepcuts]

[bearjam]

Casually catching up to w.bg at work.

164: “who is ty betteridge”

Yall I’m so normal about this fucking show. HELLO?? AT WORK?? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY NORMAL IN THESE CONDITIONS

[cuntyglam]

luffy doing an impression of both his boyfriends is so cute

[shittysmscreencaps]

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #164

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily (haven't missed one yet!) and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please like and reblog if you enjoy - the notes keep me going!

The following material is classified - unless you've read the rest of Government Man here on Tumblr!

Government Man and Government Woman climbed into the helicopter from opposite sides, his suit covered in blood and hers covered in the same blood, though slightly less of it. GM’s eyelids drooped like the bags beneath them, but GW’s eyes were wide open, staring a thousand yards out.

Government Man took his pistol from its holster and began cleaning it with deep focus and determination, though he knew he could never truly clean it of the blood it had spilled. Government Woman turned to him and watched as he ran the microfiber cloth over every surface of the gun.

“Do you… ever wonder if what we’re doing is… wrong, somehow?”

He glared at her. “How?”

“Aren’t we hurting people?”

Government Man blinked. “Speak for yourself, Government Woman.” He went back to cleaning.

The blades began spinning and Boss Man jumped into the seat opposite the others. He strapped in and the pilot took off.

“Great work, agents. The world is in your debit.”

“Debt.” Government Woman corrected him.

“Yes, debt for short. Now, without further ado, we must discuss your next mission.”

“Do we not get some kind of break, Boss Man?”

“Forces working against our government do not take breaks, Government Woman, so neither do we.”

“When is lunch?” Government Man asked.

“Noon, eastern time.”

Government Woman tilted her eyebrows. “Isn’t that seven-thirty PM local time?”

“We shall be in flight by then, so it does not really matter.”

“May I have the vegetarian meal?”

“No.”

The helicopter shook. Boss Man grabbed onto a hand hold.

“Turbulence.” The pilot said over the intercom.

“Shouldn’t we be at the airport by now?”

“Don’t be silly, Government Woman. If we were supposed to be at the airport by now, we would have landed. Right, pilot?”

The androgynous pilot turned around and saluted. “Right you are, Boss Man! You are very smart.”

Boss Man pushed his hair back. “Finally someone notices. Anyway, we must track down those missile launch codes as soon as we return to headquarters. Government Boy has recovered enough to help us search.”

The helicopter touched down and everyone got out. Government Woman looked around at the unfamiliar landscape: wide open nothing with a building in the middle of it.

“This isn’t the airport we landed at.” She noted.

“This is a special airport, just for CIA VIPs!” The pilot replied, gesturing to the building. “Please proceed through that rusty door for your security checkpoint.”

“Oh no!” She pulled out a jar from her pocket, which held a red scorpion. “You don’t think they’ll make me get rid of him, do you?”

Government Man scowled at her. “Why do you care so much for that stupid insect?”

“Scorpions are arachnids! And not stupid… And I think he’s pretty!”

Just as the four walked through the door, they were at gunpoint. Five nondescript henchmen had rifles pointed right at their heads.

“Hands up where I can see them!” One of them said.

“Aaah!” The pilot fake-screamed. “We’d better do what they say!”

Another henchman focused on Government Woman. “She’s got a grenade! Drop it!”

“No, no, he’s just a cute little scorpion! Leave him alone!”

“Drop it!”

She complied, letting the jar fall to the ground and shatter. The scorpion scurried off and hid in a crack in the brick wall.

[filmjunky-99]

s t a r t r e k t h e n e x t g e n e r a t i o n created by gene roddenberry [the pegasus, s7ep12] 'Captain Picard Day is one of the children's favourite school activities. They look forward to it all year. You're the Captain, and they look up to you. You're a role model for them.' - troi

[cyanide-rifle]

I FINALLY FOUND THAT LITTLE TINY SECOND WHERE THEY SING!! this episode is so beautiful i just adore the way it wraps up

[the-backwards-eel]

BRUVHVHVHWKEDKMEKCJRKDMF

YUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOHHHHEHJRJEBNEZJX

GWEN FINALLY GETYING. TO MEET HER MUM

GWNE FINALLY REALISING THAT SHHES BEAUTFIYL

LIYTH TELLING GWEN SHES BEAUTIFUL

BABY PASTEL SIBLINGS

LILYRH BIRTHING GWEN AND REALISING THAT SHES THE MOST BEAUTFIL IN ALL THE LAND

GWEN LEARNING TO LOVE HERSELF

LELANDS STILL THERE BUT HE CAN FUCK OFF I HOPE LILYTH PORTRAIT GHOST WHOOPS HIS ASS

SCREAMING CRYSING B UT IN A GOOD WAY

[blazernot]

Helen is such a shipper

[fizzseed]

”and to check up on the happy couple, i knew you two crazy kids would make it work!”

can someone PLEASE tell me straight what’s going on with these two like. i trust NOTHING in this damn show.

[ddf-deepcuts]

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

WTNV quick rundown - Live Show/164 - The Faceless Old Woman

Read the rest here!

Featuring the voice of Mara Wilson as The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In All Of Our Homes

CW: emetophobia (also there's a lot of insect mentions but I forget what that fear is called so cw bugs I guess? sorry~ )

I am the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home...

This live show we hear from the FOW. She is the only one we hear during this episode/live show.

The FOW feels fear when noticing three elderly residents living in a single house. She is not sure at what time they are or will be there because time is still weird for her, but knows that they scare her. She thought at first they were in a polycule but the residents have their own rooms and don't speak to or even look at each other. They also don't actually sleep despite going through the ritual of it and aren't afraid when she reveals herself to them.

One has deep scar tissue around an ear. One has no tongue. One has a bad tattoo with poetry written underneath it. They all inspire fear in others when seen and ignore each other whilst showering somehow leaving completely dry towels behind.

At meal time they all make seperate meals (still ignoring each other) and attempt to consume it only to vomit it up in a single watery fountain and begin again to try and consume the food. One of them gets tired of this and throws their plate through the kitchen window before punching out the glass despite it cutting them badly. They howl in sadness and their neighbour, Susan Wilman's lemon tree dies, it's fruit dropping down and bursting open showing meat-like flesh inside.

The FOW realises they are the three people she's been talking about, except they are dead (or will be dead) and each of them will be trapped in that house together yet not together as ghosts unable to move on.

She ends by saying she plans to start showing herself to everyone.

Weather: None

The resident with the tattoo is Toni. The tattoo was given by the FOW using the metal rod from Toni's fondue set. Toni wants to be a poet but currently works doing direct marketing selling high interest credit cards. The FOW enjoys putting various insects on Toni's face and taking pictures of them, which she plans to eventually exhibit in Toni's living room. The tarantula she placed on their face bit them causing swelling of the eyes.

Adi, wanted for murder in another state (but ironically not the murder they actually did) goes on House Hunters to get the house they will eventually live in. They left their family, friends and girlfriend of two years behind. They had a dog, but it was arrested for peeing in the dog park. The FOW put a woodboring bettle into their ear and this is why they are heavily scarred there after their death.

Morgan does not pay the standard 20% and often yells for a manager over the smallest issue. The FOW cuts out their tongue and feeds it back to them in the soup they later orders at Applebee's. They are the resident who moans and wails after breaking the window.

Someone else directly mentioned is Alex. They have terrible wifi and are asked if they've done their taxes on time. They also apparently had a yellowing lettuce in their crisper. The FOW makes herself a salad, using up all of Alex's parmesan cheese and replacing it with dead skin she's collected.

The FOW writes how, when and where everyone will die in the back of journals and notebooks they own but people tend not to read them, except for Jonathan Franzan who is also not going to die.

The FOW also mentions replacing a Community Players' fake poison for the end of Romeo and Juliet with borax.

The FOW is over 200 years old, was born in another country, spent some time amongst thieves and then later upon death spent time under the sea. (the book about her explains it more but alas I do not have it).

She advises that we all Tweet too much.

I am the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. And your home. And your home. And every home. And I will be seeing you very, very… soon.

Proverb: Never judge a book by its cover, judge it by the title page instead.

[ytarchive]

[shittysmscreencaps]

[twirlymarimo]

SKYPIEA ZORO ONE PIECE | EP. 163-164