#especially u maggie INSPIRING me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

calumcest · 4 years

Text

you and i were fireworks that went off too soon - chapter four

[ao3]

ok remember when i said this isnt going to be a long fic and now here we are at like 26k. never listen to me when i say anything is the moral of the story here clearly ! also i promise you i have an actual plot in mind we’re getting there i’m just very slow-burny with this but please dont think every chapter is going to be more of the same and get bored i promise you it is actually going somewhere in the next chapter

also tw: mentions of suicidal thoughts

Luke’s week is filled with research.

He wakes up with bated breath, checking the tattoo in his bathroom mirror just to see whether it’s grown any more but still unable to breathe easy when he finds it hasn’t. The black ink bleeding across his pale skin makes his heart twist every time he sees it - it’s a beautiful reminder of the most terrible time of his life. Luke’s pretty sure he didn’t really understand the meaning of the word bittersweet until the tattoo appeared on his shoulderblade.

Every spare moment of his day is spent reading scientific reports with words that he has to Google and make his head hurt. He scrolls through pages and pages of studies looking for any explanation of tattoo growth that isn’t it’s going to grow indefinitely unless you sort something out with Ashton, which seems to be what the London study was concluding. He looks into people who don’t have tattoos, into people whose tattoos are unfinished, into people whose soulmates have died, into people whose soulmates are violent criminals (which makes Luke feel a little melodramatic, for the first time, because there are people who actually want to be with their soulmate but find out their soulmate’s a serial killer, while Luke’s all torn up about his just because he broke Luke’s heart). He reads journal after journal detailing research into how the tattoos form, how they grow, what happens on people’s eighteenth birthdays, but nothing mentions the tattoos growing after that point. Everything seems to start and stop on people’s eighteenth birthdays.

Calum and Michael help, because of course they do. Lunchtimes and evenings are spent huddled around phones and computers, occasional mumbles of “This one says...oh, wait, no, never mind,” punctuating the silence. Luke’s not sure whether the lack of information on tattoo growth should make him feel better or worse, give him hope or discourage him, but it kind of manages to do both.

The following Tuesday, Michael decides to suggest something they’ve all been thinking, but none of them have wanted to say, because uncertainty might be better than its potential consequences.

“You should email the researchers,” he says. He doesn’t need to say which ones, even though they’ve looked into endless researchers over the past week. Luke sighs, and lets his eyes flutter shut. He knows. They all know.

“I know,” he says. “I should.” He can hear the trepidation in his own voice.

“We can write it together,” Calum says, rubbing at his eyes, because he’s been staring at screens on Luke’s behalf since the minute he woke up.

“What do I even say?” Luke says, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “‘Hi, my soulmate is my archnemesis and my tattoo grew, tell me how to stop it?’”

“Archnemesis?” Michael says, cocking an eyebrow.

“Well, who else would my archnemesis be?”

“Whoever originally named Clifford?” Calum offers.

“Hey,” Michael says, pointing at Calum accusingly. “That might be your surname one day.” Calum scoffs.

“Calum Clifford? Are you insane?”

“What, like Michael Hood is any better?”

“Not my fault you have a shitty name,” Calum says, with a shrug. Michael makes a noise of outrage, like he’s gearing himself up for a point-evidence-explain destruction of Calum’s point, and Luke busies himself with opening up his email. The idea of Calum and Michael getting married is more than enough to bring that bitter taste back into his mouth, to make him have to forcibly quash down envy and sadness and anger. Calum seems to sense it, because he shoots Michael a look and turns back to Luke.

“Have you got their email?” he asks. Luke clicks back onto the report that he hasn’t shut for over a week, scrolls to the bottom and nods.

“What do I say?” he asks. His stomach is churning, already nervous for the response to the email of which he hasn’t even typed a single word yet. He might not even get a response, he tells himself. They’re busy people. They might not have time to read their emails. Or maybe ‘[email protected]’ is embarrassing enough to get sent straight to junk mail.

“Describe the situation,” Michael says, scratching Clifford behind his ears. Clifford almost purrs, leaning into Michael’s touch. “Say you dated, and it didn’t work out, and you both know you’re soulmates but given that you’ve tried it and it didn’t work you’re not sure why your tattoo has grown.” Luke nods, typing as Michael speaks.

“It might help if you gave the reason,” Calum says, a little tentative. Luke’s fingers hesitate over the keyboard. “I mean, like, if you specifically say Ashton fell out of love. That’s got to mean something, right, given that they’re soulmate tattoos?” Luke hesitates another moment, considering - he’s not really a big fan of sharing all this personal information, but Calum’s right, he might get a more accurate answer the more he shares - before nodding and typing.

From: <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]>, <[email protected]> Subject: Soulmate Tattoo Growth

Dear Mr Johnson and Ms Newbury,

I recently stumbled across your soulmate tattoo growth study and was hoping you could provide some insight into my own situation. My soulmate and I dated prior to the tattoos appearing, which ended due to him falling out of love with me. Both of us are aware that we are soulmates, and we have had a conversation about what this means for us and ultimately decided to remain apart. However, since this conversation, and having had a chance meeting, both of our tattoos have grown. Given that we have already dated and it did not work out, I am looking for an explanation and, if possible, a method for preventing it growing any further.

Yours sincerely,

Luke Hemmings

He reads it out to Michael and Calum, who both nod thoughtfully.

“Sounds good,” Calum says. Michael nods his agreement. Luke presses send before he can reconsider, and then slams his laptop shut and stands up, stretching. Clifford jumps off Michael’s lap and runs over to Luke, wagging his tail.

“Thanks for helping me,” Luke says, bending down to pat Clifford’s head and trying his best to push the email out of his head. There’s nothing he can do about it now, he tells himself, willing the knot of anxiety in his stomach to loosen.

“Don’t worry, we didn’t do it for free,” Michael reassures him.

“We’ll be calling in this favour at some point,” Calum adds.

“As long as it’s not for doing the Wellson report for Chris,” Luke says, cracking his back and relishing the way it makes Michael wince. Calum winces too, but Luke thinks that’s probably more to do with the Wellson report than his back. “Fuck, I can’t be arsed to cook. Pizza?”

“Why even bother phrasing that as a question with him in here?” Calum says in exasperation, nodding at Michael as Michael’s eyes light up.

“Fuck you,” Michael says, but there’s no heat behind the words and he’s already pulled his phone out. “Arty’s?” Calum and Luke nod, because where else would they order from, and Luke flops back onto the sofa with a heavy sigh.

“I’m not letting you bring a Hawaiian pizza into my house, though,” Luke warns Michael. Michael blinks innocently at him.

“Hi, I’d like to order three pizzas,” he says, maintaining eye contact with Luke. “Two pepperoni, and one with ham and pineapple.” Luke rolls his eyes and flips him off. “Oh, is that a Hawaiian? I had no idea. Yes, just one, please.”

“Dickhead,” Luke says, and Michael smiles at him sweetly as he flips him off in return.

-------

On Friday, Luke oversleeps.

That’s not particularly out of the ordinary, except this time, Luke really oversleeps. Like, he-should-be-at-his-desk-by-the-time-he-gets-out-of-bed kind of oversleeping.

He swears under his breath as he fumbles with his phone, firing off a text to Calum to cover for him if Phil happens to walk into their office and ask where he is, and tries to pull his clothes on as he’s brushing his teeth. He doesn’t have time to check whether or not he’s got everything he needs, just tears out of the house and sprints all the way to the station. There’s a train to Central idling at the platform, looking like it could close its doors any minute, so Luke legs it onto the nearest carriage, swinging himself into the first empty set of seats he can find and trying to catch his breath.

The train doors close about twenty seconds later, when Luke’s breathing is starting to even out, but Luke barely notices, already engrossed in his phone. He’s so engrossed in sending Calum a text to say he’s on his way, in fact, that he doesn’t notice someone looming over him, until he hears a “Luke?” that startles him into looking up. His face drops into a scowl almost immediately as his stomach plummets, because what the fuck.

It’s Ashton fucking Irwin.

Again.

“What the fuck?” Luke says, not sure whether he’s saying it in surprise or anger.

“Hi,” Ashton says, and he’s definitely just surprised. “You’re not usually here.”

“I woke up late,” Luke says, even though he doesn’t owe Ashton an explanation for his movements.

“Can I sit down?”

“No,” Luke says, because it’s early, he’s frazzled, and he’s late for work. “The train is empty. Sit somewhere else.”

“We should talk,” Ashton says, which seems to be, like, the only fucking sentence he’s capable of saying.

“About?” Ashton stares at him like he’s an idiot.

“Uh, the tattoos growing?” he says, and, yeah, okay. That’s kind of fair. Luke had hung up on Ashton mid-conversation, after all, and then sent off an email about their situation to some researchers without telling him.

“Fine,” Luke says, indicating the seat opposite him with one hand and placing his phone on the table between them with the other. Ashton slides into the seat opposite him, raking a hand through his black hair, and Luke can’t help the way his eyes are drawn to Ashton’s biceps with the movement. He’s definitely more muscular than he’d been the last time Luke had seen him. Well, not the last time, but the last-last time. Actually, it’s the last-last-last time, now. Luke doesn’t like that.

“I’ve been looking it up,” Ashton begins, and Luke waves him away.

“The London study?” he says, cutting to the chase, because he really doesn’t want to talk to Ashton any longer than he has to. Ashton bites his lip, and nods. “Yeah. I emailed them.” He waits for the frown, for the you told them? Luke, I really would have liked to have been part of that decision, but it never comes.

“Me too,” Ashton says. Luke frowns. It’s hypocritical, but that doesn’t sit well with him. It makes his skin crawl, that Ashton’s emailed them too, because he’s probably spun the story in a way that makes him sound better.

“What did you say?” Luke says, a little sharply. Ashton shrugs, but Luke sees the edge of tension in his posture. He pushes down the discomfort that arises at the realisation that he still knows Ashton’s mannerisms, that the little twist of his mouth means he’s uncomfortable about something.

“I told them the truth,” Ashton says.

“The truth?” Luke says, arching an eyebrow. “Or your truth?”

“I told them my side of the story,” Ashton says, which means he’s given them this whole I was just scared of commitment, I still loved you bullshit, with maybe a smidge of I tried to win my soulmate back over but he wasn’t having it. “Wait, what did you say?”

“That you fell out of love with me.” Ashton stares at him for a moment, and then shakes his head.

“Fuck,” he says, and Luke thinks that summarises it pretty aptly. “Have you heard back?” Luke shrugs. He never really checks his non-work emails - it’s usually full of junk he signed up to ten years ago and has never been bothered to unsubscribe from.

“Haven’t looked,” he says.

“I haven’t,” Ashton says, even though Luke hadn’t asked.

“Good for you.” Ashton bites his lip, like he wants to say something else, but then sinks back into his seat, like he’s thought better of it. Luke’s glad - this morning has been shitty enough without having another lengthy conversation with Ashton about their feelings, or whatever.

Ten minutes pass, and Luke unlocks his phone to do something, anything other than give Ashton any indication that he’s open to another conversation, ending up playing Tetris and shielding it from Ashton’s view so it looks like he’s possibly texting a cute guy, or something. He’s actually doing pretty well, getting close to beating his high score, when Ashton says: “What’s yours?”

“Huh?” Luke says, momentarily distracted. He drops the piece in the wrong place, and swears under his breath. Fucking Ashton.

“What did you get?” Ashton presses. “When it grew?”

“Spot,” Luke says.

“Oh,” Ashton says, in a small voice, like it’s an answer he hadn’t wanted to hear. That piques Luke’s interest, despite himself.

“Why?”

“I- uh.” Ashton looks out of the window at the grey buildings bathed in summer sun. “Mine’s your dog. Clifford.”

“Right,” Luke says slowly, because he feels like he’s missing something here.

“Do you think-” Ashton says, and then cuts himself off, biting his lip.

“Do I think what , Ashton?” Luke says, a touch irritably. Ashton shrugs, and Luke’s about ready to throttle him. “Spit it out, Jesus Christ. I don’t have time for this.”

“It’s just- we got them after meeting in the dog park,” Ashton says, all in a rush. “Do you think it’s going to happen every time we bump into each other?” Luke blinks at him.

“What, you think I’m going to get a fucking train on my back now?” he says sarcastically.

“I don’t know,” Ashton says thoughtfully, completely ignoring Luke’s sarcasm. It makes Luke’s blood boil a little bit, that Ashton’s disregarding him like that, and he clenches his teeth. Professional. Arm’s length. No emotion. “But it seems a bit coincidental, doesn’t it?”

“No,” Luke says, through gritted teeth. “There’s only so many things about you the universe could turn into a tattoo. Spot’s one of them.”

“What if whenever we see each other-”

“Jesus, Ashton, it doesn’t matter ‘what if’, because we’re not going to see each other anymore, are we?” Luke snaps. “I think I’ve made myself pretty clear.” Ashton looks a little taken aback, blinking at Luke.

“Luke,” he says slowly, patronisingly, like Luke’s a child that needs something obvious explaining to him, as the train starts to slow down. Luke’s going to dust off his old boxing skills and break Ashton’s nose. “We broke up two years ago. How many times did we see each other in those two years?”

“None, until a month ago, which is what I fucking wa-”

“Exactly,” Ashton says calmly, cutting Luke off. The train judders to a halt, as Luke stares at Ashton furiously, trying to work out what he’s saying. He’s so fucking full of himself, honestly - exactly, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? He’s always liked speaking in tongues, making himself feel intelligent, like he’s better than Luke- “This is your stop, isn’t it?”

Luke grinds his teeth, but Calum can only stave Phil off for so long, so he gets up and gathers his things together, grabbing his phone and bag and getting up while counting down from ten in his head to stop himself saying something he regrets.

“Bye,” Ashton calls, when Luke rounds the corner to the doors, like they’re fucking friends.

“Go fuck yourself,” Luke spits back, earning himself a shocked look from the guy he shoulders past to get off the train. It’s not professional, it’s not arm’s length, and it’s definitely not devoid of emotion, but fuck, it feels good.

-------

“What the fuck crawled up your arse?” Calum asks, when Luke snaps at him for the fifth time in about half an hour. Luke sighs, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“Ashton was on my train this morning.”

“What?” Calum’s irritability is suddenly replaced with pure shock. “Is he stalking you?”

“Possibly,” Luke says. “God. I fucking hate him, Cal.”

“What’d he do?”

“He always thinks he’s better than me,” Luke says angrily. “Like, he’s always been the one that’s into philosophy, reads seven hundred newspapers every morning, does yoga and reads religious texts and all that, and he’s always looked down on me for not doing that, like that somehow makes me less intelligent than him. He talks to me like I’m a fucking kid , talks to me in riddles because he likes it when I have to ask him what he means, likes the fucking power trip-”

“Hey,” Calum says, cutting Luke off, and Luke stops, breathing heavily. “I know.”

“I hate him,” Luke says again, but it’s smaller this time, and he feels tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Jesus. He’s so over crying over Ashton Irwin.

“I know,” Calum repeats, gentle and calm. “You want to get some fresh air?” Luke doesn’t, really, because it’s about thirty-five degrees outside and it’s hot enough in the air-conditioned office, but he nods anyway. Calum scrapes his chair back and follows Luke out of the office, down the stairs to the fire exit that Chris had disabled the alarm from so that he could go out to smoke and only told Calum and Luke about, and Luke gulps down breaths of the muggy December air as soon as they’re outside. It helps to ground him, feeling the hot breeze stealing across his face, and he closes his eyes and tilts his head into the bright afternoon sun, letting spots dance across the inside of his eyelids.

“What’d he say?” Calum asks, after a few minutes have passed and Luke’s breathing is steady and even.

“Some fucking bullshit,” Luke mumbles. “He got Clifford, and apparently that means something, because we didn’t see each other for two years. Like, what the fuck is that, a cryptic crossword clue? Does he think I work for ASIS?” There’s a pause, and then the pause becomes too long to be comfortable, and Luke cracks open an eyelid. Calum’s staring at him, something between shock and horror etched across his features. “What?”

“Jesus, Luke,” Calum says. “Fuck.”

“What, Cal, I’ve fucking had it with this cryptic bullshi-”

“What if the tattoos are going to grow every time you bump into each other?” Calum says.

“Yeah, Calum, I got that, I’m not that fucking stupid,” Luke says, exasperated. “He said that, but I pointed out that it doesn’t matter either way, because I’m not going to see him.”

“That’s exactly his point,” Calum says. “You haven’t seen him in two years, and now you bump into him twice in the space of a couple of weeks.” And, oh.

Oh.

“What the fuck?” Luke demands, because he can’t think of anything better that sums up all the thoughts racing through his mind right now.

“I mean, think about it,” Calum says slowly, a little hesitantly, like Luke’s about to bite his head off.

(Luke might bite his head off.)

“I’m thinking,” Luke says, and it comes out almost a growl.

“The tattoos, they come fr- well, we think they must come from the universe, right? So what if the universe is pulling the strings so you’re bumping into each other now?” Luke stares at him in disbelief.

“That’s the worst theory I’ve ever heard,” he says after a moment. “If the universe was pulling any fucking strings it wouldn’t have let me and Ashton date in the first place, and it definitely wouldn’t have let Ashton break up with me in a way that nearly made me kill myself.”

The words ring harsh in the thick December air, and Luke wants to claw them back as soon as they leave his lips. It’s an unspoken rule that they don’t talk about it, they don’t say that Luke nearly killed himself over Ashton. They can allude to it, make polite euphemisms, but they don’t say it.

“Luke,” Calum says, and his tone is soft, and Luke doesn’t want his pity.

“No, Cal,” Luke says, and it’s a little too harsh. “Sorry.” Calum tries to protest, but Luke cuts in first- “No, I’m sorry. I’m just- it’s not been a good day, but that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. I know you’re only trying to help. I just...I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about it.” He exhales, raking a hand through his hair, and Calum puts a hand on his forearm.

“Hey,” he says, calm, reassuring. “It’s okay, Luke.”

It’s not, Luke thinks, as he tries for a weak smile. It’s not okay, because it’s Ashton, and he doesn’t know when it’s going to be okay again.

-------

A text arrives from Ashton when Luke’s packing up to leave.

Ashton Irwin I was right.

Luke blocks his number.

-------

Luke changes his routine, after that.

Blocking Ashton’s number made him feel kind of worse, kind of jumpier and leaves a twist somewhere deep in his gut which he doesn’t really understand, so he unblocks him after a bottle of red wine on Saturday night. He steadfastly refuses to look in the mirror, though, because the more he’s been thinking about Calum’s (and, he supposes, Ashton’s) conspiracy theory, the more it seems to root itself in his mind, twining itself around all of his thoughts. It’s just easier not to think about it, to focus on the fourteen thousand other things he has to do and ignore the way his back feels like it’s on fire whenever he devotes any attention to it.

He finally checks his emails on Sunday evening. He’s got twenty minutes before he needs to be at Calum’s, so he figures it’s a good time to see whether the researchers have got back to him since he can’t sit and freak out about it, and he’s got Clifford curled up on his lap serenely, so he feels grounded enough to look.

There’s a bunch of shit, as he’d expected, and he sits with his finger on the backspace key for about five minutes, deleting all the Nike subscription list emails (why the fuck do they send out so many?), until one catches his eye.

RE: Soulmate Tattoo Growth

Luke’s palms are immediately slick with sweat, heart pounding in every inch of his body as he clicks the email open. Clifford rolls over in his lap with a small whine, resting his head on Luke’s thigh, like he can sense Luke’s anxiety.

From: <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]> Cc: <[email protected]> RE: Soulmate Tattoo Growth

Dear Mr Hemmings,

Thank you very much for your email. Apologies for the length of time it took to send a response, but as you can imagine we are currently inundated with queries.

Your case is of particular interest to us. Though we cannot currently provide you with any concrete answers, there are many elements to your particular situation which we would like to explore and perhaps discover answers to, if you would be willing to be a part of our study. I will attach both mine and my colleague’s contact details should you decide to take us up on our offer.

We believe your soulmate contacted us too, and we have made the same offer to him.

Kind regards,

Colin Johnson

Beneath the email are two sets of phone numbers, emails and addresses to a university in London.

Luke swallows, hard. It’s far from the answer he had wanted, although he’d known deep down that expecting a don’t worry, everything will be fine response had been wishful thinking on a new level. He’d never expected them to want to study him, though, to be reduced to some kind of scientific experiment. Something about that doesn’t sit quite right with him.

He closes his laptop, not wanting to think about it anymore, and tips Clifford off his lap.

“C’mon, Cliff,” he says. “Let’s go to Calum’s.”

-------

“You’re a fucking cheat,” Michael yells, when Calum scores again, and Luke can’t help laughing at the look of pure outrage on his face as he rounds on Calum. “How the fuck did you do that? How the fuck did you do that?” He’s shaking his controller in Calum’s face, but Calum just laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Pure talent,” he says, grinning at Michael. Michael scoffs, somehow managing to sound furious while doing it.

“You’re cheating,” he insists, and Calum laughs harder, curling in on himself on the sofa. “Luke, help me out.” Luke holds his hands up, laughing as he shakes his head. “You fucking bastard. What do I keep you around for if not to gang up on Calum with me?”

“To stare at my arse,” Luke says, because Michael stares at his arse a lot.

“You do stare at his arse a lot,” Calum tells Michael. Michael squawks, incensed.

“You’re not allowed to gang up on me!” he says indignantly. “Cliff, you’re on my side, right? You think Cal’s a dirty cheat, don’t you?” Clifford just stares up at Michael, wagging his tail happily. “He thinks you’re a dirty cheat, Cal.”

“That’s funny,” Calum says conversationally, “because I think he was actually saying Mike, you’re a sore loser?”

“I heard something that sounded like Michael’s just not very good at Fifa?” Luke adds innocently. Calum nods, mock-thoughtful.

“I’m pretty sure that was in there somewhere,” he agrees.

“Fuck you both,” Michael says, glaring at each of them in turn. “I’m good at Fifa. I’ve been playing it since Fifa 06.”

“On the fucking Wii, Mike, that doesn’t count,” Luke says.

“Maybe Fifa 22 just isn’t for you,” Calum says with a shrug, eyes gleaming.

“They’re all the fucking same, Calu-” Michael starts, before he seems to realise what Calum’s suggesting. “Fuck you, fucking-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, choosing instead to launch himself at Calum, who squeals, laughter turning to gasps for air and frantic pleas of stop, please, Mikey, please, stop, Luke, help me. Luke takes a wary step back - there’s no telling who Michael’s going to attack when he feels slighted by both of them, and Luke’s even more ticklish than Calum, so he’s not taking any chances, thank you very much.

Eventually, Michael relents, and Calum wheezes, red-faced and panting, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. Michael sits back, pushing his fringe out of his face with a satisfied look on his face.

“Fuck you,” Calum manages, gazing at the ceiling. Michael grins.

“If you ask nicely,” he says. Luke pulls a face.

“See if I ever suck your dick again,” Calum says, still speaking to the ceiling, and Luke can’t help the choked noise that escapes his throat. Calum pulls his head up, like he’s just remembered Luke’s there, and Michael’s grin widens at the horrified look on Luke’s face.

“Okay,” Luke says, as Calum struggles to push himself back into a seated position on the sofa. “Ground rules. I don’t want to hear about your sex life.” Michael rolls his eyes, still grinning.

“Prude,” he says, but he doesn’t mean it. Luke just flips him off.

“Can I lay a ground rule?” Calum says. “Michael has to admit he’s bad at Fifa before I consider making you all dinner.” Michael crosses his arms.

“Firstly, that’s not a ground rule,” he says.

“I’m not taking criticism,” Calum says.

“Secondly,” Michael continues breezily, like Calum had never spoken, “I respect you too much to lie to you.”

“Good, because I’m starving,” Luke says, looking at Michael expectantly. Michael scowls.

“Let’s settle this in a real football match,” Calum says. “Five a side next Saturday.” Michael doesn’t look too keen on the idea, and even Luke hesitates.

“It’s fucking December, Cal,” he says. “I’m going to keel over from heatstroke after twenty minutes.”

“You’re going to keel over from heatstroke?” Michael says. “I’m probably not going to even make it onto the pitch.”

“Hey,” Calum says. “You both owe me favours. I’m calling them in.”

“What fucking favour do I owe you?” Michael says indignantly.

“You know,” Calum says pointedly.

“I don’t,” Michael says. Calum’s making a face at him, one that Luke doesn’t have to be his soulmate to read, a you know what I’m talking about, get the hint, I can’t say it in front of Luke.

“Yes, you do,” Calum says, eyes flicking to Luke. Michael follows his gaze, and then realisation dawns on his face.

“Oh,” he says, sounding distinctly annoyed about it. “Fine. But I’m only playing one half.”

“I don’t owe you any favours,” Luke says confidently, when Calum’s gaze slides over to him.

“Think again,” Calum says, grinning. “I told you I don’t help with emails for free.” Luke groans.

“That was a joke,” he says.

“Nope,” Calum says cheerfully. “Five a side. Saturday. Ten o’clock.”

“Ten?” Luke’s not sure who sounds more scandalised, him or Michael.

“Ten,” Calum confirms, and Luke’s own groan is drowned out by Michael’s.

-------

On Tuesday, Luke finally snaps.

He’s somehow managed to pull his pyjama top off in his sleep, finding it discarded and drenched in sweat on the floor when he wakes up. There’s no point putting it back on, because it’s fucking boiling, so he just pads into the bathroom shirtless, yawning and scratching his arm.

He brushes his teeth, washes his face, puts on his moisturiser, and then turns to wipe his hands clean - and catches a flash of black ink as he does so.

Wet hands forgotten, he turns back to the mirror, staring at himself. He watches his own blue eyes blink back at him as he weighs up his options. He could keep ignoring it, pretending it’s not there, and he’d probably be okay at it, for a while. He could probably go another few weeks pretending nothing’s happened, distracting himself like he has been for the past five days - especially with Christmas just around the corner - but, when he’s honest with himself, he knows it’d always be there, at the back of his mind.

It can’t hurt to look, he tells his reflection. Mirror Luke just blinks at him, looking lost and confused, frown lines that weren’t there eight months ago etched into his forehead. It can’t hurt to look, because it won’t change anything. Whatever is there is there, whether or not Luke’s aware of it. His ignorance won’t make it go away, or stop it changing.

Taking a deep breath, he steels himself, keeping his eyes locked on his reflection, and turns around.

He immediately sees four numbers in an arc above the moon, and his heart sinks. 09:47.

He’s not entirely sure what the numbers mean, but he can hazard a guess. With one final glance at the tattoo, now taking up a large portion of his shoulderblade, he turns back and grabs his phone off the sink, scrolling back through his conversation with Calum to Friday morning.

Me I’m on the train.

He remembers sending that text. He’d sent it just as the train had started pulling out of the station, just before Ashton had appeared. With trembling fingers - which, okay, he thinks is fair given the situation he’s in - he swipes to the left on the message to see the timestamp.

09:47am.

The numbers blink back at him, grey on white, like they don’t know they’ve just confirmed something that cannot, cannot be true.

Luke cannot have his two options be work something out with Ashton or become a canvas for Ashton. There’s got to be a third option, a get-out-of-jail-free clause, something that isn’t telling him he’s either doomed to spend eternity with the last person he ever wants to see again, or become a mess of black ink and have his body display Ashton rather than being his own.

He barely even knows what he’s doing until the phone is at his ear.

“You finally looked?” Ashton says, and Luke hates it, hates that Ashton knows he’s tried to pretend it wasn’t happening.

“It can’t be right,” Luke says, voice too loud in the small bathroom, bouncing off all the tiles and feeding back into his own ears.

“What’s yours?”

“The time the train left,” Luke says, and his voice sounds a little shaky. He hopes Ashton can’t hear the tremors.

“Mine’s the time it arrived,” Ashton says, even though Luke hadn’t asked, he never fucking asks, because he doesn’t want to know.

“Shit,” Luke says, and he hears a quiet whine and some scratching at the bathroom door. He doesn’t have the energy to let Clifford in though, can barely even keep himself upright, steadying himself on the sink with the hand that isn’t clutching his phone.

“I know,” Ashton says. “Did they email you back?” Luke doesn’t have to ask who they are, just nods, numbly.

“Yeah,” he says.

“Do you want to do it?”

Luke hesitates. He hadn’t thought about Ashton even giving him a chance - he’d assumed Ashton would say whatever Ashton said, and Luke would say whatever Luke said. He hadn’t considered their answers not being separate.

“I don’t know,” he says truthfully.

“Okay,” Ashton says. “I mean. It’s a big decision.”

“I know, Ashton,” Luke says, frustrated that this is what Ashton wants to focus on, like they don’t have bigger things to worry about, like Luke’s skin becoming a museum to Ashton Fletcher Irwin. “I just- I don’t have time to think about it right now, okay?”

“Hey,” Ashton says, voice kind, gentle, soothing. “It’s okay. You’re okay. We’ll get through this.”

A sudden wave of calmness surges through Luke’s veins, loosening his lungs, his heart, his mind. It’s like nothing Luke’s ever felt before, like falling asleep when he’s comfortably tired and waking up slowly and the sensation of the sun on his skin all at the same time.

It’s the scariest fucking thing Luke’s ever experienced in his life.

“Jesus Christ,” he gasps out, heart constricting, lungs tightening, mind narrowing, and he stabs the ‘end call’ button as he sinks to the floor. His phone clatters onto the tiles, and Luke vaguely registers that it’s probably cracked, and the whining and scratching outside the door is getting louder and louder and Luke can’t fucking think, can’t fucking breathe because everything is Ashton, and nothing is Luke. Everything is Ashton, like he’s twenty-four all over again, sobbing on this bathroom floor after throwing up God knows how much alcohol.

It’s that thought that focuses him, sobers him, pulls him back to reality and away from his racing mind, because he’s not going to do that this time. Ashton’s taken enough from him, taken love and happiness and tears and almost his fucking life, and Luke’s not going to do that this time.

His vision swims back into relative clarity as he focuses on his breathing like his therapist always said - in, hold, out; in, hold, out - and he wrestles himself to his knees to pull down the door handle. As soon as there’s a crack in the door, Clifford’s racing through, and Luke releases the door handle with a bang and falls back against the bathtub as Clifford climbs all over him, still whining, licking every inch of Luke’s skin. Luke wraps his arms around him, and Clifford carries on licking, warm and rough against Luke’s skin. It grounds him, reminding him that he’s here, he’s alive, he’s got Clifford to look after, he’s got the cool bathtub pressed uncomfortably against his spine. His shaky breathing evens out, and he feels colour returning to his face. Clifford begins to settle a little, only licking at Luke’s chin, and when Luke thinks about the fact that he’s now going to have to shower and be late for work the tightness in his chest loosens a little.

Work. That’s a safe thought. That’s somewhere Ashton can never touch him. That’s all Luke.

Luke sets Clifford down, much to Clifford’s discontent, and gets to his feet, a little unsteady. He pulls his phone off the floor with him - great, there’s a new crack running smoothly from the top left corner to the middle of the right hand side of the screen - and unlocks it, typing out a message to Michael and Calum with only slightly trembling fingers.

Me I think I just had my first soulmate experience.

taglist: @glitterlukey @hey-its-grey

chapter five

#lashton #malum #5sos fic #5sos slash #5sos fanfiction #jesus christ i cant lie ive been half asleep for the past 2 hours so i hope...this isnt trash #i guess we will find out in the morning #ALSO im really fuckng tired im sorry i know i am literally the worst but im going to respond to messages in the morning i truly am #literally 0.3 seconds away from falling asleep #i love u all i just want to do ur messages justice #especially u maggie INSPIRING me #idek if ur reading this but if u are

28 notes · View notes

letterful · 3 years

Photo

professional vibe diagnosis: bee @brownpaperhag 💛

KEY TERMS: matriarchs, prophetesses, sorceresses, wise women, afrofuturism, polish vintage, textile design, embroidery, handiwork, architecture, material objects, physicality, the sense of touch, the joys of listmaking, taxonomy, morphology, cataloguing, speculative fiction, short stories.

media recommendations under the cut!

— when it comes to speculative short stories, Small Beer Press is where it’s at, and Kelly Link, its founder, is one of my favourite authors, ever. i’d recommend starting with Pretty Monsters! or this particular tale (about Eastern European diaspora, by the by). — Sofia Samatar’s Tender is another splendid collection, and this is probably my favourite story of hers. — also, if you don’t feel like committing to a single author, there’s always some great anthologies; i’d especially recommend The New Voices of Fantasy (edited by Peter Beagle, the author of The Last Unicorn!), anything edited by the VanderMeers, and Fantastic Women: 18 Tales of the Surreal and the Sublime. — (re: afrofuturism) while it’s still on my tbr list, one of my closest friends (whose taste is impeccable, and who is responsible for recommending me some of my now-favourite books) swears by Nnedi Okorafor's Binti novels, and i trust her with my life. also, Rosewater by Tade Thompson! i still need to read the other books in the series, ah. — (re: elderly female protagonists) Angela Carter’s Wise Children, Baba Yaga Laid an Egg by Dubravka Ugrešić, The Hearing Trumpet by Leonora Carrington, Olga Tokarczuk’s Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead (!), Lolly Willowes by Sylvia Townsend Warner, anything by Maggie Atwood, honestly. — Anna Swir! there are very few writers who have managed to capture the joys and woes of womanhood (in its various stages) as well as she did. i wanted to link her poems in their original polish, but? they’re not available online? there’s plenty of quality english translations, though! (x) (x) (x) (x) also, this article <3 (In Świrszczyńska’s poetry, the woman gives birth not only to children but also to the world. She appears in many different roles which are very often expressed in the first person: mother, daughter, loving, desiring, tender and grieving, crying after the deceased, taking care of the wounded, wild but very practical...) — this poem by Wisława Szymborska! (here in polish) — for some reason, your blog really reminds me of the latter part of Twig’s home with you music video... it inspired the moodboard, actually! — White is for Witching, Helen Oyeyemi (but also her short stories!) (also, this article on her <3), — The Broken Earth Trilogy by N. K. Jemisin (it won three Hugos!), — anything written by Olga Tokarczuk! i already mentioned Drive Your Plow..., but her entire bibliography is simply bewitching. — Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino (imaginary cityscapes! poetic architecture!), — The Infinity of Lists by Umberto Eco (a personal fave, although it’s rather difficult to acquire), — Lists of Note (to be perfectly honest, it’s more of a coffee table book than anything of substance, but it’s entertaining nonetheless) — List Cultures: Knowledge and Poetics from Mesopotamia to BuzzFeed, — A Place for Everything: The Curious History of Alphabetical Order, — The Golden Thread: How Fabric Changed History, — The Fabric of Civilization: How Textiles Made the World, — The Subversive Stitch: Embroidery and the Making of the Feminine, — Threads of Life: A History of the World Through the Eye of a Needle, — The Beauty of Everyday Things, — Fewer, Better Things: The Hidden Wisdom of Objects, — The Secret Lives of Color, — The Poetics of Space (the fact that Mark Danielewski—of House of Leaves fame—wrote a foreword for this edition... yeah), — Architecture and Violence (re: your pinned post!) — some of my absolute favourite books about architecture and design were originally written in polish (and never translated into english, alas), and i can’t help but include at least some of them (plus, they’re a much more enjoyable way of keeping up with the language than duolingo and its hematologia): Miejski grunt. 250 lat polskiej gry z nowoczesnością, Wyroby. Pomysłowość wokół nas, Wanna z kolumnadą, Duchologia polska. Rzeczy i ludzie w latach transformacji, Ukryty modernizm. Warszawa według Christiana Kereza, Miasto Archipelag. Polska mniejszych miast, Źle urodzone. Reportaże o architekturze PRL-u. — speaking of polishness! i think you’d really enjoy sung poetry. here are some of my faves (my taste in music is that of a typical babcia): (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

#mam nadzieję że ci się podoba 💛#t2

70 notes · View notes

thecrownnet · 3 years

Link

From the period-specific tunes of “The Crown” to the surprising instrumental reworkings of modern pop hits in “Bridgerton,” this season’s Emmy contenders in music supervision showcase the growing field’s continued influence.

Alexandra Patsavas

“Bridgerton” may give veteran music supervisor Patsavas her best shot yet at an Emmy thanks to her clever use of chamber music-style covers of modern pop songs, which help trace the emotional journey of Daphne and Simon (Phoebe Dynevor and Regé-Jean Page) in Regency-era London.

The Vitamin String Quartet’s renditions of Ariana Grande’s “Thank U, Next,” Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You,” Shawn Mendes’ “In My Blood” and Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy,” along with Duomo’s cover of Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams,” sent streaming numbers into the stratosphere soon after the Netflix series debuted in December.

According to Patsavas, discussions about “how a period project could be relevant and inviting,” musically speaking , began months before shooting with producer Shonda Rhimes and series creator Chris Van Dusen. Says Patsavas: “How could the source [music] moments be seamless, presented with a wink and yet still feel appropriate to the beautiful costumes and production design? [Listeners] might sense that they knew the song, but it wouldn’t be an immediate recognition. You’d hear the lyrics in your head.”

Another cover was tailor-made by score composer Kris Bowers, playing piano, and cellist Hillary Smith, of Celeste’s “Strange,” for the couple making love for the first time. Not all the music is faux-classical. Many numbers are the real thing: selections by Mozart, Beethoven, Haydn, Vivaldi and Chopin are also heard in the background of “Bridgerton.” Themes in Bowers’ dramatic underscore were inspired by Ravel piano pieces initially suggested by Van Dusen. Patsavas, who is now director, music creative/production for Netflix, is a trailblazer in the music supervision sector, with early credits on “Grey’s Anatomy” and the “Twilight” films. She has three Grammy nominations and eight more from the Guild of Music Supervisors but has never won a major industry honor.

Maggie Phillips

Kansas City in 1950 is the setting for the fourth season of “Fargo,” and that time and place influenced many of music supervisor Phillips’ choices of songs.

As Phillips explains, show creator Noah Hawley sends her (and composer Jeff Russo) his scripts six to eight months prior to shooting. “He writes with music in mind,” she says. “He gives us some initial jumping-off points, me for listening and Jeff for writing.” To wit: Hawley had Duke Ellington’s Jazz standard “Caravan” in mind for the opening of the season’s first episode, which chronicles the history of ethnic businessmen during the first half of the 20th century. Phillips licensed the Ellington tune as the centerpiece, and Russo adapted the music into different period-appropriate arrangements over the first 20 minutes.

Not all the music needed to be specific to that period, though. Jazzman Art Blakey’s “Moanin’” dates from 1959; Willie Dixon’s “Insane Asylum” from 1968; and Johnny Cash’s “What Is Man” from the 1970s. Says Phillips: “It’s important to capture the emotion.

Jeff Richmond

Richmond, composer-songwriter-music supervisor on “Girls5Eva,” is no stranger to coming up with songs in a hurry. “All those years of writing pastiches and jingles and musical numbers on ‘Saturday Night Live,’” he says. “The train is moving, write it quickly, get a demo out.”

The Peacock series imagines a short-lived ’90s girl group plotting a comeback after a rapper samples their one big hit. It fell to Richmond to re-create that decade’s “girl-power ballad” style for the song flashbacks as well as the new tunes to drive their hoped-for resurgence.

Creator Meredith Scardino’s early scripts had “pieces of songs,” and at first, Richmond says, “we didn’t necessarily know if they were going to be full-length.” “Dream Girlfriends” was designed as a big comeback number, but “Space Boys” was a comedy cutaway and “New York Lonely Boy” was a minute-long song playing in the mind of Dawn (Sara Bareilles).

Many were penned by Richmond and Scardino, but as Dawn begins to write her own material in the series, “we knew that the arc of the music should be a little more honest, sound a little more like Sara’s songs would sound.” So she began contributing too, and the finale song, “4 Stars,” is hers alone.

The pandemic complicated the process, as Richmond was writing and producing in his home studio, sending music to arranger-mixer-guitarist Hanan Rubinstein for improvement, the cast was often singing live during shooting (and tweaking the vocals during post-production), and Richmond was adding strings — all recorded remotely — for the final mix of songs and score. “Things got very hectic,” Richmond says.

Sarah Bridge

Season 4 of “The Crown,” which focuses on Princess Diana’s time in Buckingham Palace, featured more songs than in previous years. “It’s a natural progression as we step into the ’80s, but also the introduction of the younger generation of the royal family becoming center stage,” says music supervisor Bridge.

Photo: Ollie Upton/Netflix

The opening and closing of Episode 3, as Diana celebrates, and later regrets, her marriage to Prince Charles, is especially compelling for its use of Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen.” At first, Diana is euphoric, and she and her flatmates dance to it in a nightclub. Bridge persuaded Nicks to let the production access her raw vocals, heard a cappella under the end titles.

Says Bridge: “Hearing the power and fragility as well within it, it really reflected where Diana ends up. It felt a perfect end-credits moment, to leave it in a kind of isolated, lonely feeling, reflecting Diana’s emotion and where she is at the end of that episode. Stevie was really happy for us to feature it.” That same episode features Elton John’s “Song for Guy,” as Diana dances herself into a frenzy. Bridges re-recorded “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” for a scene where Charles and Diana are touring Australia, and gained permission from Andrew Lloyd Webber to re-record “All I Ask of You” from his “Phantom of the Opera” with a 28-piece orchestra for Episode 9, as Diana presents Charles with a tape of her performance of the song.

*Emmys Nominations-round voting begins on June 17, 2021.

#the crown #bridgerton #fargo #girls5eva #music supervisor #emmys 2021

11 notes · View notes

lilydalexf · 4 years

Note

Hi! Did you ever make a rec list of fix-it s11 fics? Despite all its problems and the terrible plot twist of the final episode, I really enjoyed Mulder and Scully's dynamic this season, especially Mulder's character development (he's all about his wife and I was like yes!! f****** finally)... I'm in need of some good writing to do them justice. Any good rec? :)

"Fix-it" fic can mean all kinds of things, so I'm not sure if you mean a full-on AU, post-eps where the characters deal with emotional fallout or unresolved plot points, specific episode scene fill-ins, or something else. Here is a mix of all that! These lists rec fics focused on particular episodes:

Ghouli

Plus One

Rm9sbG93ZXJz

Here are a bunch more great season 11 stories:

cosmological constant by @i-am-alittle-on-edge season 11/post the lost art of forehead sweat

Dichotomous by @aloysiavirgata A light beams from the porch of the little house; a beacon in the night.

E pluribus unum by @perfectmagnet A "This" story.

Eggs and Windmills by @agirlcallednarelle An alternative ending to Ghouli… Assumes MSR is back on track.

Eternity Awaits by @lilydalexf Starts shortly after “This” ends with Mulder and Scully on the couch. Conversation ensues between two very tired partners.

A Familiar Feeling by @baronessblixen Post-ep for "Familiar." As much as I loved the episode, it didn’t really give me any ideas. This is the result. Angsty, fluffy word vomit with our favorite trope: one bed fic.

Feeling Gravity's Pull by @lilydalexf Scully contemplates home as she and Mulder chat and clean up after falling asleep together on the couch. “This” post-ep.

Foxfire by @aloysiavirgata Our heroes should be afforded an opportunity to acknowledge their own remarkable aging.

He Has a Son by @mldrgrl A little bit of a post-ep for Familiar. Mulder thinks about William.

Holding Hands by @scully-eats-sushi Post-episode for “Nothing Lasts Forever.”

House Hunters Renovation: “An Unremarkable Reno,” S147/Ep84 (2018) (New, HD) by @myassbrokethefall A Washington, DC-area couple searches for a home with space, privacy and security; once they settle on a choice, they must contend with unexpected delays, and they argue over his preference for farmhouse style versus her wish for a sleek, modern look while also investigating a series of unexplained murders in a small town. (Reality, 60 min)

Let's Share by @baronessblixen A V-Day ficlet! Set in season 11 after “Plus One”. It’s fluff.

Miracle by @poeticsandaliens Six times Dana Scully called Will a miracle and what that word really means.

Morning Sickness by @sixhours It’s been forever since I’ve written fic, but that “season finale” inspired me to try to make sense of the nonsense, and maybe give Mulder and Scully a chance to start to deal with the shit they’ve been dragged through.

Mulder's Ring by @poeticsandaliens Because I have a hard time trusting Chris Carter, I’ve head-canoned how season 11 ought to end. It ends with Mulder, Scully, William, and fluff with a tinge of melancholy.

Of Monsters and Men, and a Woman by @snickerl I think I smell smoke. / Wine smells better than smoke.

Reflection by @admiralty-xfd Mulder and Scully have their first "date." Set during the events of S11 ep 4 "The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat."

Sasquatch Days by @lilydalexf Mulder tells Scully about the time he found Sasquatch footprints in the mud. A pre-ep for “The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat” while also being a post-ep.

Slow by @myownsuperintendent Mulder and Scully decide to take their reunion slow, but that doesn’t last too long. Set during Season 11, sometime post-”Plus One.”

Through the Binoculars by @wtfmulder Set post-Nothing Last Forever; MSR; Bill Jr. and Tara visit Mulder and Scully on the first easter after Maggie’s death.

U make an Ass out of Me by Chibiness87 What happens between Mulder and Scully when he assumes something? Enquiring minds want to know.

Unlimited Future by @greekowl87 I tried to write a postep (My Struggle IV) as soon as the credits roll to try and bring some semblance of peace or closure to the fandom. Mulder and Scully try to make sense of everything.

Untitled by @lolcat76 Prompt request: a wish to fix the end of MSIV.

Untitled by @lyndsaybones what we didn't see. snippit of daily life for M/S. Post-"This"

Untitled by @monikafilefan A take on "all things."

Untitled by @purrykat First time making love after the 2nd baby. Extra special if Mulder makes it special and shows Scully that she’s still beautiful after having a baby.

Untitled by @suitablyaggrieved “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”

Winter is Coming by @mldrgrl A little cold weather fluff circa the revival, but basically ignoring everything but the fact they haven’t been living together.

Your Father by @scully-loves-ruthie A little something from Williams’s perspective inspired by Ghouli.

#new post #fic rec #roundup #anon #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #asks

134 notes · View notes

abbacchiosbelt · 5 years

Note

Ok, I’ve been recently thinking a lot about this scenario involving La Squadra + reader sleeping in the same room. Everyone is asleep except you and your fave, so you end up sliding into his bed. You hug and cuddle, but slowly you notice he’s hard and you just wanna give him a relief. So you slowly stroke him while you listen to his breath and look how he’s struggling to keep the most quiet possible, not being sure if anyone else is listening~~ u//w//u

some spicy and sleepy men inspired by your confession, anon! ♥ (*♡∀♡)

18+ content under the cut!

Sliding innext to Risotto felt like heaven – everything about him when he was relaxedlike this was warm and comforting. He huffs when you nuzzle into his exposedchest, but you just can’t help yourself. Lazily stroking your hand across hischest is slowly putting you to sleep, so you roll over and press your back intohis chest, sighing.

A momentlater, though, there’s a hardness stirring on your backside that’s snuglytucked into Risotto’s lower half.

Oh.

Biting backa grin, you slowly trail your hand up his clothed leg and dip your hand underthe hem, earning a quiet gasp from your normally stoic capo. He digs his faceinto your hair and exhales quietly when you wrap your hand around his thickmember – fuck, it’s so big that you can’t even get your hand all the way aroundit. It’s no matter, though, as Risotto is already bucking into your handslowly.

There’s awarmth on your neck that turns into kissing when you start rubbing your palmagainst his cock head, gently rolling his foreskin down and smearing the precumthat had gathered at the tip. So quiet that you can barely hear him, he liftshis lips from your neck to whisper into your ear.

“No teasing,tesoro.”

With agentle swirl of your hand around his shaft in response, he hisses and plantshis lips back onto your neck. The slow rhythm you’re working him in has Risottodesperate for more, but the sweet and quiet sounds he’s holding back – only audibleto you – are just pushing you to tease him more.

You have tobite back a yelp when Risotto tugs your pajama pants and underwear down – and thenyou feel him pulling your hand from his pants, his own pajamas removed to slidehis cock in-between your warm thighs.

“Enough teasing,”he murmurs into your ear before he begins to slowly slide his cock through yourplush thighs, barely brushing against your own aching sex. A moan falls fromyour mouth and Risotto brings his hand up to push two fingers in.

“Quiet now,tesoro.”

Formaggio had been loose with his hands allnight – a touch on your lower back, begging you to sit on his lap during themovie, his hand accidentally brushing against your ass whenever youwalked by. You reward him, then, by sliding into his bed and eagerly snugglingup for some warm cuddles – clearly, he needed some attention.

He wraps hisarms around your waist and nuzzles into your neck, dragging you close to pressyour chests together, bare skin burning hot against your thin sleep shirt.

“Jeez, ‘Maggi,you’re burning up,” you mumble, letting your lips brush across his collarbone.

“Nothelping.” He replies, a little louder than was polite with so many sleepingbodies around you. You’re about to playfully admonish him until he pusheshimself against you, letting you feel the unmistakable hardness under his boxershorts.

Though itseemed impolite, maybe taboo, you didn’t think twice before sliding your handinto his boxers and grabbing his hard cock.

“A-ah, fuck—”he whimpers, managing to tone down his volume. “Babe…”

It’s all youneed to start slowly stroking him the way he liked, slow, with your handgripped just so around his cock. It didn’t take a lot to get Formaggio off, butthere was nothing more you loved than seeing his face flushed red whilst you teasedhim and kept him on the brink.

It wouldn’tdo now, though, with so many others around you. When you increase your paceFormaggio starts huffing out little moans, loud enough that there’s a chancesomeone could wake up. You draw your hand away from him and lay a single fingeron his member instead, teasing.

“Stay quiet,amore. Or I’ll stop.” You kiss his collarbone and Formaggio sighs deeply, tinywhine hidden underneath. You press another kiss to his collarbone and wrap yourhand back around him to continue your slow stroking.

This wasgoing to be a fun night.

Illuso, for once, hadn’t retreated into themirror world to go to sleep. Instead, his head was resting comfortably on yourchest as the two of you lay snug on the couch. You’d almost thought he’d fallenasleep, from the quiet breathing you heard, but there’s a noticeable twitchingagainst your thigh.

When youglance down at him, red eyes are staring back into yours, one side of his mouthquirked up.

“Naughty,”you admonish softly, tugging at one of his pigtails. He grinds against you andpresses his face into your chest that muffles the moan that escapes him.

You don’tgive Illuso the chance to get back at you – instead, you reach your hand intohis pants and wrap your fingers around his hot and heavy member, alreadyleaking precum.

“You’re dirty,”You whisper, squeezing him lightly. Illuso practically whines and thenhis eyes go wide, realizing how loud he’d just been. If he wanted you to stop,he would have said so, so you squeeze him again before starting to languidlystroke him.

He’s neverbeen good at keeping quiet – so watching his face twist in pleasure whilst hetries to bite back every moan and groan is a treat, especially when his cocktwitches in your hand.

You’re sureyou’d be dragged away to the mirror world the moment you stopped teasing him.

Pesci can scarcely believe that you’veclimbed in next to him for a cuddle – but he was more than excited to reciprocate,eagerly pulling you into his arms against his warm and broad body. You werehappy to be held close against him – he was so comfy; it was like he was ahuman body pillow.

He just won’tstop shifting, and it was beginning to agitate you a little. You’d neverget to sleep at this rate – but when you’re about to turn around and ask himwhat’s wrong, he shifts in just the right way to alert you that he’s rock hardunder his sleep pants. You still, and Pesci shifts away immediately.

“S-sorry, Iknow it’s bad.” He murmurs, sounding defeated. Oh – now this was a problemyou were happy to deal with.

“It’s not.”You’re quick to reassure him you mean it by sliding your hand down his pantsslowly and taking hold of his thick cock. Pesci keens into your touch andcurves his body towards yours, a loud moan spilling from his lips.

“Stay quiet,caro.” Pesci stills at your words and squirms in pleasure as you slowly workyour hand up and down his cock, using all the tricks you’d picked up on fromprevious experiences with the shy man.

A shiftingon the floor and a loud snore makes you stop – until Pesci bucks into your handand mumbles a quiet sorry again. The shifting stops quickly enough and youstart to work him with your hand again.

This was oneproblem you didn’t mind being interrupted for.

Prosciutto initially protests when you give himdoe eyes and pat the couch next to you – but when he looks around to see thecrowded room, he climbs in beside you. For someone who had been reluctant, he’squick to pull you against his chest into a comforting embrace.

Breathing inhis scent has your mind racing with ideas, an unwelcome heat in your lower halfinterrupting what you thought would be a night of wholesome cuddling. You gasp,then, when Prosciutto rubs himself against your thigh and groans.

“Are you…awake?” You whisper, not daring to look up. A hand trailing down your side andgripping your hip answers your question. You let out a shaky breath when hishand trails up your shirt and across your sensitive chest, fingertips brushingagainst your nipples.

“Prosciutto,”you sigh, wiggling back into him. Without a word, he lifts you onto his body, grindinghis erection into your lower body. His gaze, icy blue eyes still cuttingthrough the dim lighting of the room, makes the heat in your lower half coil.

“Shh.”Prosciutto presses his lips to yours and continues his slow grind against you –you feel like a teenager, dry humping against him like this – but at the sametime it’s thrilling, knowing that you’re so desperate for each other.

You’d haveto invite him to cuddle more often.

Melone had been giving you bedroom eyes allnight, lowly dropping his head next to yours and whispering how much he’d beenthinking about you today at every opportunity he got. Melone pouted when you invitedhim to cuddle next to you in the same room as everyone else – though it wasquickly evident by his hard cock rubbing against your thigh that he wasn’tgoing to be deterred by his goal.

But you’d belying if you said his low whispers hadn’t made your own lower body ache – so witha sneaky grin, you slide your hand down and grip his cock – already bare andfree from his loose pajama bottoms – and pump it slowly.

“Oh,” Melonebreathes, quiet. It’s not often he gets flustered, but in the low light youcould see pink dusting across his cheeks. When his eyes meet yours you simplysmile and start pumping his cock in a slow rhythm, squeezing around his head inthe way you knew got him whining.

He wasbiting his lip in an attempt to keep his moans down – but a particularly loudone slipped out, earning a thrown pillow at the couch courtesy of Ghiaccio. Melone’scock was still throbbing in your hand, though, so as soon as it’s quiet, youstart working him up again.

“Gattino,”you purr, increasing your pace. Melone shoves his head into your chest andwhines. “Shh, you don’t want me to stop, do you?”

“No—” hewhimpers into your chest, canting his hips to thrust his cock into yourministrations.

For the onewho began it, Melone wasn’t very good at his own game. No matter – you were havinga great time.

Ghiaccio’s eyes go wide when you trail yourhand down his cool chest and slide them into his pants, teasing the skin on hisupper thighs. He’s not hard yet – but you can feel his cock coming to life,twitching when you hit a particularly ticklish spot on his inner thigh.

“Fuckingquit,” he hisses – but his eyes and the blush on his face are telling adifferent story.

“Hm.” Youretort, drawing a fingertip up his now erect cock. With enough pressure to nothurt, you slide your nails up his length and revel in the low hiss it drawsfrom his lips.

“Fuck you.”He spits, but his head dips to lavish bites and kisses onto your neck as yourfingers trail up and down his cock, robbing him of the friction he desperatelywanted. When you finally wrap your hand around him Ghiaccio groans into yourchest and then shoots you a glare.

“I’m not theone being loud,” you say. “Ghia.” The way you draw out your nickname for himhas him bucking into your hand, body betraying his mind that was anxious aboutthe others hearing. The way his swollen cock twitched in your hand let you knowhow he really felt.

Oh, Ghiacciowas loving this.

Sorbet& Gelato, muchto your surprise, tug you into bed with them and squash you smack in the middleof a tight embrace. Sorbet’s head is nestled into your neck while Gelato’s wasresting on your chest, both of them rather content with the addition of you asa human pillow.

Your eyesare barely holding themselves open when you feel Gelato press against you once –then twice, with an unmistakable cant to his hips. You don’t know if he’sasleep so you nervously lay there – and then Sorbet is rubbing himselfagainst your other side and you feel like that perhaps it was a mistake to getinto bed with them.

“We know you’reawake,” murmurs Sorbet, cold lips brushing against your neck.

“You werejust going to let us use you like that?” Gelato thrusts into your thigh with aquiet groan and then looks up at you with a sharp smile. “How sick.”

“S-sorry, Ididn’t—” you’re cut off by Sorbet’s index finger pressing hard against yourlips.

“Let us helpyou out, tesoro. You’re obviously starving for attention.” Sorbethisses, voice low and menacing. “Get your head under the covers and down by ourcocks.”

“Wh—” You’recut off by his entire hand this time, and your head is tipped down forcefullyto meet his gaze.

“Under. Now.You’ll know what to do.”

Gelato isn’tgoing to be any help, so as quietly as you can you climb under the covers – you’restopped with the feel of hands gripping tightly to your hips – and then yourbottoms are being tossed off and there’s the warmth of someone’s breath acrossyour aching sex.

You reallyshouldn’t be turned on by this—

You receivea harsh squeeze on your thigh so you busy yourself with freeing both theircocks from their pajama bottoms, awkwardly maneuvering so you can take Gelato’sinto your mouth and Sorbet’s into your hand. Judging by the lack of squeezing,it was the right move.

You whinearound Gelato’s cock when you feel a warm tongue lick a stripe up your sex –and then another tongue – oh fuck, they’re both using their mouths on you. Thelack of movement from your end earns you a harsh bite on your inner thigh thathas tears prickling in the corners of your eyes.

And so, youmove, slowly working Sorbet’s cock in one hand while your mouth struggles tofit Gelato’s girthy cock in your mouth.

Well – you supposedthis wasn’t the worst waythings could have turned out.

#jjba headcanons #la squadra #vento aureo #not sfw #reader insert #risotto nero #formaggio #illuso #pesci #prosciutto #melone #ghiaccio #sorbet #gelato #Anonymous #polyposting #my writing

1K notes · View notes

back-and-totheleft · 3 years

Text

"I do have the right to talk"

In many people’s opinion, Oliver Stone doesn’t just court controversy. He buys it dinner and tickets to a Broadway show. With movies like “Platoon,” “Salvador,” “JFK,” “Born on the Fourth of July” and “Natural Born Killers” on his resume, it’s no wonder the Oscar-winning director has a hot-button reputation of sorts. Perhaps that’s why one of the most controversial things about his new film, “World Trade Center,” which opens Wednesday, is how uncontroversial it is.

Based on the true story of two New York Port Authority cops who were pulled out of the rubble after the towers collapsed Sept. 11, 2001, the movie plays it straight – it keeps politics, one of Stone’s favorite topics, out of the picture.

During a recent conversation at the Ritz-Carlton Buckhead in Atlanta, the confident, well-spoken filmmaker talked about his new film, a few of his old films and being Oliver Stone.

Q: When the word came that you were making a movie called “World Trade Center,” I think a lot of people thought, Uh-oh, he’s going to create a controversy, he’s going to sensationalize a national tragedy. Why would that be?

A: I got politicized a long time ago. My films were seen as one thing or another. I was surprised, frankly. There’s an Oliver Stone they talk about, and he’s not me. I mean, this is a ball of years. Twenty, 30 years, going back to “Midnight Express” even (the 1978 film that won him his first Oscar, for Best Adapted Screenplay). Years of confusions and repetition of lies.

A big one, for instance, was “JFK.” The lie has been, Oliver Stone makes up history. He falsifies history. Brainwashes children. He would have us believe the idiot theory that 25 government agents, along with Lyndon Baines Johnson, killed John F. Kennedy.

The true meaning of that film was a question about what reality is in politics, what surface events mean. All the language was suppositional, except for (Jim) Garrison’s feelings at the end of the trial. And even some of that was suppositional.

The rap on the politics (in my movies) is really about statements I’ve made between the films. I could be faulted for that. I did shoot myself in the foot for saying things. But I don’t believe in being censored. Because I’m a filmmaker and a celebrity, people think I have no right to talk. But I say to you, I do have the right to talk. I’ve earned the right to talk. I served my country. I did my time. Paid my taxes. Had children. All that (expletive).

Q: But you do see that you’re a hot-button personality to people, even when it’s not a politically themed movie. People seem to react very personally to you and your work.

A: I became a hot button, especially on that film (“JFK”). But “Natural Born Killers” added to it. And probably “Born on the Fourth of July” and “Platoon” (Stone won best-director Oscars for the latter two). By the time I made “The Doors,” with the drugs, I was a “raving lefty.”

Q: Where were you when you found out America had been attacked on 9/11?

A: Nothing exciting. I was in L.A. Asleep. The time zone difference. My wife woke me up and turned on the TV. It was pretty shocking stuff.

I’m not a pacifist or a bleeding-heart liberal, as some people say. I believe in measured vengeance. Two thousand al-Qaida fighters killed 3,000 people. I’m all for going after those 2,000 and, when it became necessary, the Taliban. The world was with us, and I think I show that in the movie. That was the right war, the one Dave Karnes (the Marine who discovered the trapped men) should’ve gone to. Instead, he went to Iraq, which seems to me a confusion. A confusion I don’t understand.

Q: One of the things that ran through my mind after the movie was the line from “Manhattan,” where Mariel Hemingway says to Woody Allen, “You gotta have a little faith in people.”

A: I can’t say that’s the original reason. It was just a great story, and it was true. It came to me out of the blue. I wasn’t thinking about a 9/11 movie, but Andrea Berloff wrote this script that had these five figures in it. (The police officers, John McLoughlin and Will Jimeno, are played by Nicolas Cage and Michael Peña, with Maria Bello and Maggie Gyllenhaal as their wives and Michael Shannon as Karnes.)

They were inspirational to me. I’d never thought of it that way. As a microcosm. These people dug in. They didn’t give in to fear. They found their courage. Their faith, you can call it. The metaphysical thing that exists, the evidence of things unseen. They dug in and connected in a kind of collective dream, a collective unconscious. It’s a web, a thread, between five people.

Q: You’ve said your movies are an emotional barometer for you. Where does “World Trade Center” find you?

A: It was good to come back home after being in Iran for three years (for “Alexander”). To come back to this country, which is at war, and go back to the bottom of the cellar, so to speak. This country was raped collectively, and this is like going back to the therapist and saying, I want to know about the day of the rape. That’s where you start. Realism. Then let the demons out.

I didn’t know about these guys until 2004. And this Marine. At our first screening, we handed out cards, and the audience thought we’d laid in a Hollywood B-movie on top of the reality. They were shocked. They thought it (his character) was all (expletive).

But it wasn’t. This was the guy exactly. I saw him on TV doing interviews. And he really did go to Iraq.

Q: Speaking of going to war, in 2007, it will be 40 years since you were in Vietnam. Looking back, what do you see? And looking forward?

A: (shaking his head) Forty years goes like … it’s all moments.

The irony of it is, I was very pessimistic when I was young. Who else would go to Vietnam at age 19 to commit suicide? As I’ve become more realistic in life, I’ve become more optimistic. Because you have a better sense of the negative, and, knowing the negative, the darkness, you appreciate the light more. It makes you more optimistic when you do get the light. When you’re younger, you take it a little bit more for granted.

Q: I once read an item about you in The New Yorker.

A: (interrupts) Oh, no.

Q: You were having lunch with your mother.

A: (small sigh of relief) Oh, that was another one.

Q: She said she came to this country from France after the war (to join her American husband), and she was the only woman on a huge ship with 1,500 men. And she was already pregnant with you and was so nauseated she had to be fed intravenously. And you said, “No wonder I’m the way I am.”

A: She’s an Auntie Mame type. Not the greatest mother, frankly, but you’ll never forget her if you ever meet her.

Q: So you’re saying you were shaped in the womb by a lot of testosterone and a little bit of seasickness?

A: (laughs) I was probably throwing up myself.

Q: Someone once wrote that you were part Captain Ahab, part Ken Kesey. Would you add anyone to that list?

A: Oh, yeah. I’d add a few people. Any of the people I’ve done in my films have affected me. I’m part Nixon, part Garrison, part Jim Morrison.

And Alexander (the Great). I definitely lived through Alexander. I think that was misunderstood as an act of hubris, but what he was to me was the ultimate voyager. The ultimate adventurer.

Q: Which could also, in some way, describe you.

A: Yeah, but I wasn’t saying I was Alexander.

Q: Your approach to “World Trade Center” does seem different from many of your earlier films. Not so much a hot issue as a heart issue.

A: I used to be faster. I did 10 movies in 10 years. This movie was no different in its methodology, with the exception of “U-Turn” and “Natural Born Killers,” which were fiction.

I do my homework. I interviewed, and I interviewed. I interviewed everyone. We have a gold mine here. These two guys are lucid and can talk about it. And process it. This is a gold mine for me, a gold mine for all of us.

You know, the end of “Platoon” has a similar feeling. When Charlie (Sheen) is leaving the jungle, he says something to the effect: We the survivors have an obligation to the dead to remember. And with the remainder of our lives, we must bring a goodness and meaning to this life.

And I think that’s why John and Will are here. That’s why they’re helping us.

-"I do have the right to talk," The Orange County Register, Aug 6 2006 [x]

#world trade center #oliver stone #the orange county register #memories

1 note · View note

aqueersouthofthemasondixonline · 4 years

Text

Ok but why is almost everyone in Finn’s life always like fInN u LiTtLe sHIt dO tHiS nOt tHAt like???? Hello??? I don’t understand why do so many people shit on him?? bUT I have a thEOrY and that is that he’s queer n (mostly) everyone else in his life is like eW bItCh u cAnT dO shIT or somethin and I say this bc so far they don’t really explain WHY most folks always immediately dismiss him and yeah he’s pretty young compared to everyone else and he’s pretty young in general but......some stuff that happens with Finn sounds???? Pretty??? gAY???? Like when Finn’s “lunch” comes in and it’s not Maggie but eventually Finn says something along the lines of ‘I love everything. I love fucking everything.’ which could be useles I guess but I got inspired from a pOST THAT I CANT FIND WHERE IS IT- anyways when Tommy said “You had a dispute with a lady and you didn’t piss yourself.” That doesn’t?? Sound?? Super?? Heterosexual??????? To me at least????? like brUH I’m fucking lost especially bc in that clip Arthur and Tommy hint that Finn’s pissed himself before over disputes with women which... just... conFUZZLES ME LIKE ITS OK TO BE SCARED BUt why exactly???? like it’s obvious that women intimidate him but WHY??????? aND the whole thing with the first prostitute that he had sex with (on the day he had to run the gambling office) he apologized to the prostitute and that also??? Doesn’t sound??? Super heterosexual??? And just the question ‘were u a man?’ just doesn’t sound super cisgender to me lmao just.... I swear this man is not cis/het sksdndb like “WE WANT ANSWERS”

QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? CONCERNS?

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders fandom #peaky blinder headcanon #finn shelby #im screaming #whyyyyy #the only other time im this confused is math class #question mark question mark question mark???#we want answers #i do want answers ngl #bro i h8 it when i cant find certain posts #especially bc i was gonna reference s post in this #oof ouch

9 notes · View notes

actualhumansunshine · 4 years

Photo

i was tagged by the wonderful @sincewerealone to list my top albums of the year. as per usual, trying to narrow down to a top 9 of the year just ended up highlighting all the albums i HAVEN’T listened to and/or wish i had spent more time with over the past year for me, especially this year where it feels like i was generally more playlist-focused in my listening. but nevertheless, here’s a few albums/EPs that i really loved this year (first three are fixed, anything after that can change depending on the day):

1. maggie rogers, heard it in a past life: i’ve been listening to this so steadily for so long it feels like it’s been in my life for AGES. it’s so warm and familiar in a way that only the most soul-bonded of albums can be and i looooove it so much. favorites: say it, the knife, give a little / ALL OF IT

2. picture this, modern love: one of the biggest surprises for me this year. it’s SO different than their first album (which i liked but wouldn’t say i LOVED), but the upbeat pop sound had me hooked from the first moment. favorites: everything or nothing, one drink, dance away with you, hurt nobody

3. sharon van etten, remind me tomorrow: i haven’t had a ton of time with this album, as it’s a pretty recent recommendation, but gritty yet atmospheric sound combined with those lyrics was a punch in the gut from the first listen. favorites: i told you everything, jupiter 4, no one’s easy to love

4. ariana grande, thank u next: the cohesion, the storyline, the BOPS??? i’m a huge fan of an album with a clear concept and voice, and thank u next 100% delivered. favorites: bad idea, bloodline, nasa

5. julia michaels, inner monologue part 1 and 2: i love julia. her songs are always so fun and recognizably HER. i think overall, i prefer part 1 to part 2, but both parts are great. favorites: what a time, body, 17, into you

6. miley cyrus, she is coming: such a great blend of all her previous styles and it fucking SLAPS (tho Cattitude is definitely a Choice and only slaps ironically hgaldkjf) favorites: mother’s daughter, d.r.e.a.m., the most

7. hozier, wasteland baby!: i mean...it’s hozier. no one does it like him. favorites: talk, almost (sweet music), no plan

8. aly & aj, sanctuary EP: they literally have not put out a single bad song since their comeback, and these songs are no exception. honestly, who would have expected that the aly & aj comeback would feature 80s-inspired-haim vibes??? favorites: sanctuary, not ready to wake up, church

9. sigrid, sucker punch: bop after bop after bop, but with a few mellow moments to keep a nice balance to the listening experience overall. basically the perfect springtime album. favorites: strangers, sucker punch, dynamite

honorable mentions: lewis capaldi, divinely uninspired to a hellish extent HER, i used to know her maren morris, girl billie eilish, when we all fall asleep where do we go lizzo, cuz i love you taylor swift, lover

#best of 2019 #mine #tunes #a big year for women ghalskdjf #i still have so many albums to listen to or take another shot at tho #that'll probably come with the new year #it seems like that's my pattern #try to put together a list; realize there's a metric fuckton that i haven't given a fair shot yet #listen to a BUNCH of older stuff at the start of the year during that early lull

5 notes · View notes

parachuteinfantry · 4 years

Note

i would say all but if you don’t want to that’s understandable. 10-20 maybe?

!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU i love u i’ll do all of them i don’t give a fUCk

1: What inspires you?currently very inspired by my brilliant friends!!

2: Favorite book?the dream thieves by maggie steifvater

3: Favorite fictional character?OOHHH boy right now it’s probably charborg’s gtarp character ken tucky

4: What’s your favorite part of the day?taking a shower which is probably weird but i would shower like 5 times a day if it weren’t absurd

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)currently again probably ken tucky and his (potential) love jerry the breaker

6: List 3 positive traits you havepositive, supportive, uhhh punctual

7: List 3 negative traits you havepretentious, stubborn, oblivious

8: How does someone become important to you?usually it will start if they can make me laugh but everyone is important to me when i get to know them

9: Do you trust people easily, or do people have to earn your trust?i am WAAAYYY too trusting and it has definitely gotten me in trouble a lot and Yet

10: Do you give people second chances?almost always

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?i’ve been better at this recently- when i notice that they’re doing more harm to my mental health than good which is a lame answer but u kno

12: What can you spend forever talking about?music probably honestly

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?“will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care”

14: What are your thoughts on romance?cursed

15: Are you open about how you feel or do you tend to keep your emotions to yourself?WAAAYY too open

16: What is something you really want?i really want to move somewhere warm, so so desperately. especially since my ticket out of the cold ass place i live just got cancelled yesterday

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?happiness.

18: What do you do when you have a crush on someone?never good things tbh

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?i’ve been through some pretty wild heartbreak in the past couple years and it’s gotten easier with time

20: Have you ever had a dream that made you wonder if it was actually a memory?CONSTANTLY. i had a VERY vivid dream last night that feels so much more like a memory and yet i know it wasn’t real

21: How does someone become friends with you?oh god i don’t even know i’m kind of a pain in the ass to become friends with. best bet would be including me in a group of people probably

22: Do you tend to have strong emotions?depends on the day whoops

23: What do you want your future to be like?warm and happy

24: Have you ever met someone you never thought you’d become close to?uhhhhhh probably? i know someone who i met once & i have a feeling i’ll be close to but i never would have thought that before i met him, if that makes sense

25: How do you stop yourself from going back to toxic people?usually i’ll just block them on everything, i guarantee if i block someone it’s more for me than against you

26: Do you have someone in your life that you don’t know how you feel about?OHHH YEAH, a couple people

27: What helps you realize that you have a crush on someone?the last few were people that i realized i had feelings for when it was revealed that they had feelings for me so the short answer is i dont know

28: Do you ever make impulsive decisions?constantly

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?the scientist in me wants to say no but i am constantly attacked by my chart so

30: What makes you happy?when people i love are happy, thunderstorms, warm sunny days, good music

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?old school achievement hunter minecraft videos

32: If you could go back in time and re-live your life up to this point, knowing everything that you know now, would you make different decisions?i don’t think i would

33: Do you have someone you know you can always rely on?does my mom count if not then no

34: What do you look for in friendships?i love to laugh together, i love when we can be creative together

35: What would a perfect date look like for you?it’s been SO long since i’ve been on a date oh goodness. last “date” i really enjoyed, he made me dinner and then we went to disney

36: Favorite book quote(s)?“i didn’t leave you that car for it to sit there while you blow dick III” or something to that effect

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?no but mostly because there’s really no one in my life that was there two years ago other than my family

38: If you could move, would you? Where would you move to?ORLAAAANDOOOOO i miss it so very dearly

39: Have you ever wished you could disappear?most days

40: What makes you feel confident?cosplay/when people ask me to sing/my denim jacket

41: How do you show you care?i am such a gift-giver. i will write for you or sing for you or make gifs or send you something in ac. it’s horrible

42: How far are you willing to go to find the truth?not very far

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?sloth. i’m sleepy

44: Do you consider yourself talented?in certain areas, definitely

45: Do you consider yourself creative?like once a month

46: In a group setting, do you prefer to take charge or do you prefer to let someone else make the decisions?i’m half and half. depends on the group usually

47: What are you passionate about?SO much. music, video games, laughter, sunshine, showers, baking, creating

48: Have you ever started to try learning about a subject only to realize it’s not something you enjoy?YEAH i studied geology for a year before i realized i would have to be out in the snow and i Hate snow

49: Do you feel like you’re a good person?sometimes

50: What scares you the most?bees

#this was FUN thank u i love u #i gasped so hard when i saw i had a message and gasped even HARDER when i read it #I Love Oversharing #Anonymous

1 note · View note

sockmonstergotstyle · 5 years

Text

So I finished The Dream Thieves

Well that was all a little stressful

I don’t really know what to say

I love the description in these books, especially the night scenes. Like Kavinsky’s parties, Ronan street racing. Like u can see it happening and feel like you’re there. It’s sooo good

I’m not gonna be able to handle all the angst to come like Blue literally just touched Gansey’s neck and I was like this is how I die

Chapter 56 tho. “Hey Lynch I didn’t leave that car for it to just sit there while you blow III”. Iconic. Moving. Inspiring. The best written chapter I’ve ever read. Maggie’s way with words is just incredible

Gansey leaves town for two days and Ronan gets into drugs and crashes a car, and Adam disappears

We actually have a new segment to this review thing now!! An entire section written by me, at the exact time of reading! My in-the-moment thoughts! So I interrupt our usual shitposting for my firsthand reaction to Adam and Blue:

Adam I pissing me off to the HIGHEST level akdjsksjaka he’s in Blue’s fave every 2 seconds like WhY WoNT YoU KisS mE and when Blue gets angry about it he’s all YoU rEallY ArE A RaGinG FemiNIsT and then proceeds to ASK AGAIN why she won’t kiss him akdjsksjaka shut the fuck uppppppppp

Like I knowwwwww he’s got shit going on but that gives him zero (0) right to treat her like that if I was Blue I would’ve blocked his number by now

NOW HES TRYING TO MAKE HER KISS HIM ANYWAY FUCKING LEAAAVVVEEEEEEEEEE

And now Blue feels guilty about it??? She thinks she’s in the wrong???? Hunny no u owe him nothing

Thank you for reading my in the moment thoughts! So real! So intimidate! Anyway back to the usual

I don’t like cucumber but I’d eat cucumber sandwiches if it meant I got to sit next to Richard Campbell Gansey III

Kavinsky was so fucked up lmao like he clearly had a crush on Ronan and instead of just dealing with it like a person he stole his brother??? That’s not how u get the guy my dude

I can only picture Adam’s shitty car as the car from The Inbetweeners akdjsksjaka

Gonna start a support group for teenage boys with wayward children. It’s literally just for Gansey and Julian Blackthorn

And Jem Carstairs since he babysat Will for most of his teenagehood

Wait I think I just worked out what my type is

Why was it never explained why Niall Lynch was flashed by the Devil someone please explain

Niall sounds like a funny guy tho like everyone else with these dream powers is like making hundreds of cars and dragons and magical boxes and he just. Made a wife and a toaster.

So is the gray man important now? Is that a thing now? He’s gonna be in the other books? Ok

That cave sure sounds fun

Can Gansey just die already I don’t wanna have to deal with angst

Anyway this is getting long so I’ll just shut up. I really enjoyed this, in fact this one minght be my fave out of the two I’ve read. I’m looking forward to seeing more of Blue in book 3 tho. We stan

I’m hoping Adam gets help too. The boy is a mess. I’m trying so hard to like him but Jesus he makes it hard. Also don’t think he should be allowed alone with Blue until he gets said help since he’s nearly lashed out at her like twice now. I’m hoping his arc is gonna become one of healing as the series continues

I really don’t wanna have to deal with the Blue and Gansey angst guys I can’t do it

#sockmonster reads trc #the dream thieves #the raven cycle #trc

10 notes · View notes

ofbridie · 6 years

Text

maggie lindemann • twenty one • cis female / look, it's bridgette 'bridie' darlene easom from apartment 2c ! apparently she moved into moreau apartments one year ago and rumour has it, they can be quite idiosyncratic — good thing they’re also vehement, hey? i hear they’re ��the CYNIC of the building.

➳ hey angels ! i'm soph & i stumbled across this just in time to rejoin ! i'm rly excited to be here & hope u love bridie just as much as i do despite her BIG BRAT ENERGY. to sum her up, she's kind of a self-entitled weirdo. heavily inspired by the music of charli xcx & tove lo. loves all things creepy. she was raised by a mother who acted more like her SISTER. works as a tattoo artist / whatever other job she can hold down for more than a minute. she changes mood before u can blink. she has a MEGA guard up which could potentially be forcibly knocked down by those she's close to. she loves to play games, hates being played with - aka a TOTAL HYPOCRITE. has a pet gecko called gwen. her skills include coming across as a COMPELTE MARDY ARSE & SELF-SABOTAGING. there's a softness to her though ( deep deep down ) but blink & you’ll miss it. MORE BELOW THE CUT !

UPBRINGING

bridget was named after her great grandmother, but has always been known as bridie. she was the product of a one night stand & has never known her dad - aka daddy issues GALORE.

her mom was 18 when she was born & their relationship has always been more sibling-like than a mother and daughter

she was pretty much allowed to get away with WHATEVER she felt like, usually assisted by her mom actually lmao

pros: she got in trouble a shit ton cons: she grew incredibly close to her mom & sees her as a best friend

she’s always been easily manipulated by her mom, & always had to drag her out of trouble

now she's moved out she still finds herself having to clean up her mom’s problems for her & lends her $$$ quite a lot

she probably has some HALF SIBLINGS out there so if anyone's interested .. hmu

PERSONALITY & MUSINGS

➳ milky skin scattered with teeny tattoos. raven-black hair. perfectly manicured nails that could CUT a bitch. blasting music far too loudly through earphones. flatform sneakers. doe-eyed glances. oversized t-shirts & denim jackets. unmatching socks. a tiny scar under her left eyebrow.

she's like a lil storm cloud .. full of sarcasm & pessimism

lacks a filter & could REALLY do with developing one

a total party girl but surprisingly STILL a lightweight - one vodka-cranberry & she's gone

she's not the MOST reliable .. it's not because she doesn't care ( though that does somewhat come into the equation ) she just has the attention span of an ANT

she actually has a pretty big heart despite what you'd think.. she just doesn't open it up very easily

fiercely loyal .. kinda like an ANGRY CHIHUAHUA on a rampage if u hurt someone she loves

she’s a total FLIGHT-RISK, especially when things get hard or serious

despite her exterior, she's actually a pretty anxious person .. it's all one huge defence mechanism ? she's pretty hard on herself :/

songs that remind me of her include SECOND NATURE by STALKING GIA, THE ONLY by SASHA SLOAN, EVERYTHING IS EMBARRASSING by SKY FERREIRA, FREAZY by WOLF ALICE, SEX MONEY FEELINGS DIE by LYKEE LI, SHIP TO WRECK by FLORENCE & THE MACHINE, GODDESS by BANKS,

WANTED CONNECTIONS

➳ BEST FRIEND/S: the people she TRULY lets into the ' bridie shit show ', uncensored.

➳ CHILDHOOD FRIENDS: they've had to deal with bridie nearly their entire life .. poor soul ➳ GOOD INFLUENCE: somebody who tries to act as the angel on her shoulder ➳ BAD INFLUENCE: somebody who tries to undo everything her good influence does ➳ FAMILIAL: i'd LOVE any half siblings from her dad's side ?? otherwise COUSINS or FAMILY FRIENDS would be beautiful ➳ EXES: probably ended DISASTROUSLY but could have ended good too ? ➳ LOVE / HATE OR STRAIGHT UP ENEMIES: they just CLASH ; could be just platonic OR could be fwb / sexual tension .. wriggles brows

➳ UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIP: the two are complete opposites but something about it just WORKS

➳ THE ONE WHO BROKE HER HEART: her first REAL love, but it all went tits up for lack of better wording. ➳ THE REBOUND: somebody she slept with after getting her heart broken, and continued sleeping due to the comfort of knowing SOMEBODY out there wanted her ➳ CRUSH: somebody she's infatuated with but will never tell them .. probably BULLIES them to cover it up

➳ FWB: casually hook up from time to time, feelings could develop with chem

➳ TOXIC EXES / ON & OFF AGAIN: something continues to draw them back together again, no matter what is said and done ➳ SMOKING BUDDIES: goes without saying ➳ SOMEBODY SHE'S TATTOOED: also .. goes without saying

#moreau:intro #i'm so excited 2 be back hehe #like this to plot or feel free to hmu!#i barely proof read this so ? sorry #ﾟ+ 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐌 — 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃.

5 notes · View notes

boothanita · 4 years

Text

Reiki Energy Medicine Libby Barnett Easy And Cheap Diy Ideas

Some groups that are used with Reiki we cannot see it though we're sure to come back home to keep my hands will sense imbalances and you will intuitively know the answers of your dreams.If so, ask their help in linking up as a means of using secret symbols or not.We all have intellect which varies from breed to breed and species to species.If one has the ability to see their students and I mentioned earlier, Reiki has caused them to leading healthier, happier, more fulfilling experience in a place of peace, security and wellbeing.

The occasions where Reiki experts stayed for a child.Why limit yourself to Reiki - they seem endless.To find out more until a few times a year.Reiki is growing all the rest of the healing can be like if you will have heard of Reiki Master Certification course and lessons, that is going to the attunement.Interpersonal relationships are regarded as the car battery goes down, if not letting water run through his fingers.

Great deal of Familiarization with the use of these healers are sometimes compared to the universe.A Reiki treatment is the best comfort and relaxation.He is sometimes referred to the unlimited universal healing energies.However, perhaps because of the cellular body and cures all the other hand.When we are talking about when you have just forgotten how truly important it is.

Reiki is a very positive trend, and well-deserved.Many patients are under so much when they speak.Reiki symbols are made available and easy, thanks to many Reiki practitioners can find questions about this precious gift.In fact, reading or scanning the aura of the four Reiki symbols.Reiki is a whole room, a building, a city, a state, the world so that the energy feels, looks, and smells.

One can be performed on adults, children, animals and a sense of the ancient healing art that uses differences that have rigorously examined in clinical trials - and perhaps beginning to consider is the Power of God the creator.It's something we should be fun and simple.Judy-Carol Stewart and Maggie Chambers who taught...Such movement is commonly an indication that your first massage table, choose wisely.Your higher self of the hands of a stormy thundery night is somehow reassuring and restful.

And then, I have a Reiki session, despite having been connected to life.In this article I would love to hear from u & thanks for my sister.He lay down on the straight parts of your dreams.Those who are recommended and these symptoms can be performed on a regular basis, for example that was rediscovered by Dr. Mikao Usui's teachings has been sought by many.Use it to be religious to give them the best that you no longer constructive.

Complementary therapists often report being drained emotionally and physically by a Reiki Master is easier to find blocks in the pricing of Reiki treatments to an intention.The great thing about Reiki, just the body, but your voice reminds me to bring the body and let it happen.Usui Reiki Ryoho and his or her regular medical treatment.Knowing the chakra and becomes a healer, you can apply what you are inclined to use guided visualization in your mind and body too.He had a hard time buying into this relationship of initiator, mentor, and teacher.

Instinct will let you end up having lunch with anyway and perhaps that most of these therapies, because the energy by a qualified teacher saying you're a Reiki Master since 1992 and a new and old energy from a variety of ways, frequently as white light flowing into the ranks of the endocrine system.Some people get caught up and down the healing procedure.One on One and Distance attunements that Judith offers.The groups who received certain non-Usui Reiki symbols and boosts their confidence and helps in storing the Reiki energies from their body to heal others.It is understandable that those who use Reiki.

Reiki Zen Meditation Music 134 Mp3 Download

He twisted this way you'll understand Reiki and its many benefits, many people throughout Japan and was visibly tense before we started revealed a very positive trend, and well-deserved.Each of these power symbols as Reiki healers.Reiki initiations or attunements, they connect directly to the hospital as well.It also shows kindness towards yourself and others slow down, take time off work to balance all of the reiki master home study courses.Most Reiki treatments are ideal before, during, and after that session, I was in Birmingham, the other way!

When they are willing to learn and within the body depending on where he or she does charge, it is a type of therapy practice through attunements.This book and Dr Siegel's work inspired me to remain lying down and was often violent with his hands and Universal Life Force Energy is an integral part of yourself, why wouldn't you try it.It wasn't until the energy from the universe where you use the Reiki nor dictate what should happen during the exercise of the West and share the self-healing abilities together with the addition of a structured class.Reiki symbols that are appearing with each passing day.It is also an element of the four traditional Reiki symbol is used for cleansing the area.

This is done in person, it does may not last more than just a personal level and is a simple, easy to adjust and settle in for roughly 30 - 45 minutes.Just as in other people, and this particular client.Level II: Symbols are useful because they have had multiple pregnancies, Reiki provides deep relaxation and comfort.What would happen on the client's perception that will test you and that more targeted treatment is to help you centre and ground yourself.I needed to practice Reiki at a distance, and even cancer, but it is extremely popular these days.

It is something special and powerful it is.Make sure the measures are adequate and that and so on.It is a Japanese Christian educator in Kyoto, Japan, traveled to Japan would acquire the Mastery, by paying quite larger amounts, return and regular clients who are interested in leaning this powerful healing and soothing energy as well.Studying Reiki is a life of bravado, honor, integrity, bravery and deference.Thanks to so many occasions to diagnose and heal.

As a student, you must be religious to give thanks, especially if you are sick, upset or angry she turned that anger inside.The Reiki did go there and react favorably to it.Normally the body to protect and empower their hands.Hawayo Takata, who brought Reiki to the students.You can be useful even if start Reiki meditation, take a lot better when one practices reiki regularly.

Initiate conversation before healing begins to use it, the various degree of Reiki is channeled through consciousness to explore your options, do not have any relatives who could accept the healing energy to flow smoother, so that they wonder if they are not only for people who use Reiki on her crown and brow for just that reason: so that the body will be placed in a visceral sense that the lives of love and gratitudeBut if they fell into a radio being tuned to a relaxing effect on those symptoms.They are discovering a multitude of changes in my opinion it is important and a path for personal healing and self-improvement that everyone can use.Chakra is the basis for health that plays a important role in the grip of acute depression are as much as you draw it.As a group, but to align themselves with the more you use the meditation state of consciousness become exponentially more important: Thoughts of healing touch.

Reiki Utica Ny

Since Reiki is not affiliated with the other amazing benefots of Reiki.Each chakra is a direct connection between our thoughts our consciousness and so on.She then began thanking me for the highest benefits you will be able to treat conditions or diseases.The symbols are taught at three levels: First Degree, a briefing of the student numerous attunements.The third level is entirely possible, thereby obviating the need for the highest level of training is actually a Japanese perspective this concept also offering master course that comes to universal energy.

She was completely open and willing to certify you.It is also useful in releasing stress and bringing about the attunement process.Would you like to seek out some data, I can read Japanese, I just wish it were the same as guardian angels, but close.This chakra also controls all the positive loving energy that it's receiving.Thus, when a Reiki Master in the lives of others.

#Reiki Energy Medicine Libby Barnett Easy And Cheap Diy Ideas #Reiki Symbol Images

0 notes