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jcmorrigan · 3 years

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I saw the tag- I am gonna ask you about the crossover universe- (omg I’m literally gushing about this)

OH, IT IS TIME!

So you can find a lot of this on the “What is the WHAM ARMY?” page on my blog – I’ll try to remember to link it; I’m drafting this in a word processor first so I don’t use it. Essentially, this is the universe I’ve created for my fanfic “Taking Back the Crown,” which is about…basically my favorite villains all moving into the same house and trying to take over the multiverse. And then it got lore. And more lore. Because I cannot write anything normal. The fic is nearing its 150th chapter and I’m nowhere NEAR exhausted of all the ideas I want to put in it – it’s just my big playground for hyperfixation fun. Anyway, here’s a rundown of the major points of it!

THE CAST

The main characters are the eight villains who are the founders of the WHAM ARMY. The faction name is an acronym of their first initials. They’re my ultrafaves, the villains I always get fluttery heart for, and probably the biggest collection of losers you can imagine. I’ll put them in order of the acronym and give you some background on how each entered the team.

Wuya (Xiaolin Showdown) – So the connecting factor between these people is that Mozenrath (his name is a few slots down) is their team leader and the one who decided to build a team in the first place. Wuya was recruited when Mozenrath found her puzzle box in an ancient vault. This is set post-series for XS (and Chronicles is not at all canon), so what had happened is in the big Showdown right after Raimundo was named team leader officially in the finale, the Xiaolin Monks won ALL the Shen Gong Wu to their side and stuffed Wuya in the box. So Mozenrath found her and let her out so they could be pals. A magic potion let her regain human form fairly early on, and her power isn’t even nerfed either the way Chase Young would’ve done.

Huntsman (American Dragon: Jake Long) – ADJL is also post-series in this timeline. Mozenrath has the power to resurrect people from the dead at will because he’s memorized an ancient and incredibly complex ritual that he can execute mentally (note that this means you can remove this ability from him by tampering with his memories). The Huntsman was resurrected so as to show Mozenrath around the old Huntsclan vault (which is where they found Wuya’s puzzle box). No other Huntsclan member survived the purge except Rose (and 88 and 89, but they don’t count and aren’t in this story), so the Huntsman is starting from square one.

Ayam Aghoul (Aladdin: The Animated Series): Basically just got sick of losing. He’d teamed up with a few other rando Aladdin rogues to try and pick a fight with Maleficent, and she sent him packing. So he ended up finding one of the few residents of the Seven Deserts who was powerful enough to match him AND had a similar grudge against Maleficent.

Mozenrath (Aladdin: The Animated Series): The man of the hour and the creator of the entire team. He starts the fic by crashing Maleficent’s KH Disney Villain alliance and trying to add himself to it, but…ends up being such a disrespectful nuisance that Hades just drags him straight down to the Underworld. That moment inspired him to get his OWN band of friends and start making a name for himself.

Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls): Met Mozenrath in the Underworld after his death in film canon. Annoyed Hades one too many times by claiming that he wasn’t actually supposed to die, seeing as he isn’t allergic to dairy (he is), so Hades threw him in the same cell as Mozenrath and…

Roman Torchwick (RWBY): I started writing this fic in 2016, immediately post-V3, so it’s canon-divergent after the last episode of V3 (but I got all the later-game characters to show up eventually). Which means Roman is ALSO dead at the start of this fic. He ALSO comes storming up to Hades insisting he’s not even supposed to be dead. At the same time as Snatcher is already pestering him. Which is how Mozenrath, Snatcher, and Roman end up in the same jail cell in Tartarus and get the idea that maybe they should break back into the world of the living and try to build something BETTER than what any of the three had beforehand.

Mad Madam Mim (The Sword in the Stone): Mozenrath, immediately after breaking out of the Underworld, attempted to take over Arthur’s kingdom by just walking in and throwing magic around. It backfired horribly when Merlin showed up. But then Mim showed up to counter Merlin and realized that maybe she had a potential friend here who was as blackhearted as she.

Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove): Post-TENG, no KNG or TENS (but I reference things from TENS every now and again). Merlin turned Mozenrath into a rat, so Mim brought him to Yzma’s Secret Lab to change him back. There, they found Yzma as a cat, and she so desperately wanted out of her living situation that she added herself to the team. She was also restored to human form shortly thereafter.

There is a potential ninth member of the core in the form of Vexen (Kingdom Hearts). KH is canon-divergent after DDD and basically ignores almost every game that comes out after Fragmentary Passage. Vexen, as Even, was trying to integrate into life as a hero in Radiant Garden, except everyone annoyed him way too much, so he decided to go be with people that would give right back any insults he dished out. And then realized he was much happier being on the evil team and doing mad science with no ethics. However, he will not be promoted to the upper ranks because 1. it would spoil the acronym and 2. he is unanimously agreed-upon to be the biggest wet blanket of the group and nobody wants him at the founder parties.

(Imagine my disbelief when the actual canon arc for Vexen was THE REVERSE ONE IN WHICH HE JUST DECIDES TO GO LIVE AT RADIANT GARDEN AND NOT BE ANNOYED BY ANYTHING and that’s why JC doesn’t like Kingdom Hearts III)

Anyway, this crew is a bunch of silly friends who enjoy partying, singing, dancing, drag, indulging in vices, causing mayhem, taking over cities, arranging for mass murder, piecing together smear campaigns…but they’re all pretty much ride or die for each other. And that goes double for the ships of the set: Mozenrath/Huntsman, Mim/Aghoul, Wuya/Yzma, and my favorite ship to end all favorites, Roman/Snatcher (RedHatBlackHat is the ship name).

From there, you have a B-Squad of, like, seventy other people based on my faves. Nonnie, I know you saw this because of Vincent Edgeworth, Victor Blake, and Albert Krueger, and they are three of COUNTLESS examples. It’s a found crime family that keeps getting bigger as I get more fave villains and there’s hardly a rhyme or a reason. Currently, they live in a floating fortress designed when they stole Terra Cyclonia (Storm Hawks) and hefted it out into the aether between worlds with crystal technology.

They have a rival hero faction in the form of the Cinnamons: a gathering of people who they’ve wronged who turned out to make pretty good friends themselves. While the WHAM ARMY are the villain-protag team that you feel slightly bad loving the escapades of, the Cinnamons are the rainbows, fluff, sunshine, (secret crippling depression and anxiety), and pep-talkers of the multiverse. They’re the deuteragonist team as opposed to the “villains” of the story. They also have eight “leaders,” but they were picked up a little less quickly than the WHAM ARMY founders, instead coming together over the span of a much longer quest. These people are:

Sora (Kingdom Hearts): Heart of the team and the person who pulled them all together, because Sora loves everyone. He, Riku, and Kairi witnessed the WHAM ARMY wreaking destruction on both Radiant Garden and Disney Castle, and Sora decided no one gets to treat his homes-away-from-home like that and get away with it! Between Mozenrath and the still-looming threats of Maleficent and Xehanort, he’s now collecting pals from all worlds to fight against evil and do as much good as they can do! (While having sleepovers.)

Ruby Rose (RWBY): Before she, Nora, Ren, and Jaune could get into Mistral, Sora interrupted them on their path and directed them right back around to Vale with the news that Roman Torchwick was back in action. After an incident involving the Destiny Trio and Team RNJR having to team up and actually kill the massive Grimm unleashed in the V3 endgame, they all headed out to Radiant Garden together to continue their mission.

Papyrus (Undertale): Sora found him while exploring worlds and they clicked immediately as pals. Then the WHAM ARMY, who was living in Mt. Ebott at the time, sparked an anti-monster racist sentiment through the town, and Papyrus was advised to leave the world for his own safety, so he went traveling with Sora.

Stork (Storm Hawks): Maleficent, who is also an active player in this game, made a power play by destroying the Condor with the entire Storm Hawks team onboard while they were on the Far Side of Atmos (post-series). Stork, believing himself to be the only survivor, attempted to take his own life – only for Sora to show up just in time and offer him something better: hope that his friends survived, and new friends to tag along with until they could prove either way.

Jasmine (Aladdin): The Cinnamons came looking to Agrabah for more information on Mozenrath. When Jasmine heard he was causing chaos, she decided to get personally involved.

Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender): Post-ATLA, no LoK. Sora made a trip to the Fire Nation to see if he could head off the WHAM ARMY’s latest scheme, and ran into the Gaang along the way. After helping Katara, Aang, and Zuko protect the Fire Nation from a very near miss, Sora invited them to come travel with him. Only Katara accepted at first, the other two wanting to clean things up on their homeworld.

Kazuichi Soda (DanganRonpa): Post-SDR2, no DR3. Xehanort requested Izuru Kamukura be used as a vessel, and Kazuichi went in Izuru/Hajime’s place so his buddy didn’t have to. But the first chance he got, Kazuichi turned and ran from the Castle That Never Was…where Sora had just crash-landed. Kazuichi patched up Sora’s ship, and immediately became part of his crew. (Worth noting: in this AU, the Remnants of Despair were never brainwashed and were completely aware of what they were doing. Kazuichi is basically a redemption story, trying to be a better person to make up for the hell he caused. Also, while on the Despair side, he’d hacked off his leg to sew Junko’s in its place, disabling himself – that leg goes through an arc regarding what prosthesis is in its place.)

Rapunzel (Tangled): After the Vardaros arc of S2 of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. Rapunzel was targeted by the WHAM ARMY because she was essentially a living MacGuffin for one of their spells. Sora showed up, and Rapunzel decided to go along with him for safety AND fun, leaving Cassandra to continue the pilgrimage to the Dark Kingdom. (Wrote this before KHIII was out. And before the Evil Cass twist.)

And just like the WHAM ARMY, these folks have a huge B-squad that lives in the Radiant Garden castle and helps them deal with the various tragedies they have to clean up after. Riku, Kairi, and Jaune Arc in particular get a decent amount of stage time.

As you can see, Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty/Kingdom Hearts) and her forces are another big set of chess pieces on the board! After she sent Mozenrath to gay baby jail and it didn’t stick, she’s been trying to continue plans for domination as usual but ALSO wipe the WHAM ARMY off the face of the multiverse. She, Jafar (Aladdin), Ursula (The Little Mermaid), and Hades (Hercules) all came straight here from KH. But I’m working to model that team’s inner circle on the team in “Quite a Glittering Assemblage,” the sister fic by gavillain (it’s basically this premise but Maleficent gets a team to start instead, but similarities end there, his is a whole different, fresh, and fun flavor). I’ve just gotten all these characters intro’d instory, but the other biggies are Loki (Marvel – I based him in the Cinematic Universe but he’s kind of just an amalgamation of Lokis), Dr. Doom (Marvel), Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time), Russell Edgington (True Blood), and Fish Mooney (Gotham). Currently, they operate out of the Forbidden Mountain in the Enchanted Dominion.

There’s also a very new addition as of the 140’s chapters: the Heathens. This is a squad of villains with moral lines in the sand (and some antiheroes or corrupted heroes). Basically, these aren’t your killers for fun. These are the people who steal candy from the gas station and think they’re slick, but the point is they’re enjoying themselves so just let it happen. The four founders of this one are Harley Quinn (DC – based on The Batman but an amalgamation of Harleys that leans sympathetic), Yang Xiao Long (RWBY), Giovanni Potage (Epithet Erased), and Velvet Crowe (Tales of Berseria). Currently, they operate out of the old mansion in Twilight Town.

The Xehanorts are here, and that team is largely who you think it is – though I stripped away Vexen, Demyx, Marluxia, Larxene, and Luxord in order to replace them ALL with Xaldin. More crossover shenanigans to come on this front. This team isn’t very active – they’re waiting for the Keyblade War – but they’re operating out of the World That Never Was.

There’s also another side villain faction: the Morbians, led by Mirage (Aladdin: The Animated Series). These are the demons of fear, the stuff that lurks in your nightmares, and…the villains I really like but who I don’t quite think fit in with the WHAM ARMY or any other more prominent group. But to give you an idea of what the flavor of this team is, she’s recruited not one but TWO Boogeymen – Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) and Oogie Boogie (The Nightmare Before Christmas).

There will be more villain factions to come, and I kind of want to splinter the Cinnamons to multiple bases as well. Obviously it’s easier to split villains up because they’re fun to write at war with each other – when I have hero teams come up against each other, usually they end up becoming best buddies instead of fighting, and that’s how I like it, but that’s why there’s just ONE BIG HERO TEAM as opposed to the many villain squads rattling around.

THE SETTING

So as you have probably gleaned, the multiverse setup is largely based on Kingdom Hearts, which is one of my favorite things (in the KH1 through Fragmentary Passage era anyway). There are many worlds that can be visited either by Gummi Ship or Corridor of Darkness. Basically any evil-aligned sorcerer can use Corridors in this ‘verse – they’ve opened their souls to Darkness and have magic, so they can do so.

The implication is that every world represents a separate “story” or part of one. As in if it’s a work of fiction HERE, it’s a world THERE. Some characters are actually savvy enough to know they’re fictional (e.g. Megavolt from Darkwing Duck, Xayide from The Neverending Story). Most of them aren’t built to handle the news, though, and just shrug it off if told. (No, really, the cosmic order prevents them from taking that news seriously if they’re not from something that regularly leans on the fourth wall anyway.)

But sometimes, things get AU’d in without their full worlds. I was inspired by how Final Fantasy is treated in canon KH, and once I started bringing in more FF stuff by the same method, I felt motivated to do that with MORE fandoms if I felt the characters could be divorced from their settings and histories easily. I’ve done it for most Disney Channel non-animated properties as well as Satellite City (ain’t that the worst combo you’ve ever looked at). I’m planning to do it for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn because I’m coming up on a location I want to delve into the civilization of but don’t have many canon characters for, so guess what, you get the FE cast now.

Major worlds or relevant locations in play are the Cyclonian warship, Radiant Garden, Twilight Town, and occasionally the Enchanted Dominion, but we move from plotline to plotline with journeys to many, many, MANY worlds of things I want to play with the settings and casts of. Also, the Cyclonian warship is about to get replaced with another WHAM ARMY base; we’ll get there.

THE STORY

For the first major “book” of TBTC, the WHAM ARMY has found a spell that they think will let them conquer the entire multiverse by giving them control over Kingdom Hearts itself. All they have do to is collect a bunch of MacGuffins that correspond to twelve elements: fire, water, earth, air, light, darkness, life, death, time, space, entropy, and aether. In order to do this, they visit the worlds of KH, RWBY, Avatar, Storm Hawks, Okami, Undertale, Wakfu, The Legend of Zelda, The Neverending Story, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and many many more. The Cinnamons catch wind of what they’re doing and start assembling. Meanwhile Maleficent is on the hunt for the Book of Prophecies and starts hiring villains on her team as well. After many madcap adventures and some devastating tragedies near endgame, the Cinnamons accidentally put the Book of Prophecies in Maleficent’s hands at the same time that Maleficent finally captures Mozenrath and gets him under heel. The WHAM ARMY and Cinnamons both launch attacks on Maleficent’s forces, and each walks away with what they came for. This is also the part where we slowburn up to the four major WHAM ARMY ships and many Cinnamon ships. In the end, the WHAM ARMY actually gets all the ingredients for their spell, but what they don’t know is it will actually cause the DESTRUCTION of the worlds. So an outside force intervenes (Discord from MLPFIM, who later joins the WHAM ARMY because he wants friends who actually appreciate him as a villain and won’t make him change) to stop them, and the next thing they know, they’re starting from square one.

We’re now in the second “book” of this story. The Cinnamons are gathering up all lost friends – the rest of Team RWBY, the Gaang, the Storm Hawks (who did in fact survive the explosion), the lost KH characters. The WHAM ARMY, on the other hand, is gathering up more villains to bolster their forces for a new evil plan: to conquer the worlds one by one, starting with Atlantis (Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire) and using portals to link to other territories of interest. While the WHAM ARMY is essentially working through a to-do list of what they need before they can launch such a massive invasion, the Cinnamons are finding strength in numbers because the writing’s on the wall that between Mozenrath, Maleficent, Mirage, and Xehanort, things are going to get worse before they get better, and as evil builds, good will need to rise to protect the innocent. As for Maleficent, she’s no longer able to chase the Book of Prophecies, and so, because she’s got Hades, Loki, and Salem (RWBY) there and they’re all like “Even though we’re pretty godlike, we are not that happy with how the gods we knew have run things,” Maleficent’s new goal is to slaughter the gods of all pantheons (minus those in her care) and replace them with her allies.

Anyway, as I had said in the post you saw, Anon – I basically take everything fictional I love and shove it into this AU for daydreams because it lets me imagine my faves having CROSSOVER INTERACTIONS and doing cool epic stuff on a multi-world scale. (But as much as I’ve talked up the epic aspect, a lot of it is just…like…people fucking around and hosting karaoke nights.) Anyway, I hope this gave you a good sense of the madness, and I hope it serves as a reminder to everyone that they can and should just. Make a daydream and/or fanfic universe that’s indulgent as hell. Just do it.

#wham army #tbtc #long post #i considered a read more #but i hate the tiny text on my blog #i need a new blog theme

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rachelkaser · 3 years

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Stay Golden Sunday: Take Him, He’s Mine

Dorothy foists a needy Stan off onto Blanche, only for it to backfire. Sophia and Rose try to start a sandwich business.

Picture It...

Sophia tries to convince Rose to join her in a new business venture: A sandwich stand on the beach. Rose seems open to the idea, even if Sophia is very pushy about it. Dorothy enters, excited and dressed for a date with her new squeeze, Jeffrey the naval commodore. Blanche enters and tells Dorothy that Stan’s unexpectedly arrives. He asks to speak to Dorothy, and she tells him she’ll give him a minute.

BLANCHE: Dorothy, guess who’s here? DOROTHY: My date! BLANCHE: Your husband. DOROTHY: I don’t have a husband. Call the police. STAN: *appearing in the doorway* Your ex-husband. DOROTHY: I’ll call the police.

In the living room, Stan breaks down crying and tells Dorothy he lost his business. Dorothy is sympathetic, but tells Stan she doesn’t have time for him right now. He begs Dorothy to keep him company for the night, and Dorothy goes into the kitchen to ask the Girls a favor: For one of them to do it instead. She hones in on Blanche and bribes her with a promise to introduce her to Jeffrey’s sailor friends. Blanche tells Stan to wait while she gets dressed.

Rose and Sophia are making sandwiches in the kitchen, substituting potatoes for tomatoes in their BLTs. Dorothy comes home from her date with Jeffrey, which was a huge success, and laments that she stuck Stan with Blanche. As if on cue, Blanche comes home from a, to use her word, “bizarre” date. Dorothy expertly guesses what Stan’s odd idea of a night out was, including a meal he ordered for Blanche at a cheap Indian restaurant. Blanche says it actually wasn’t so bad, and they’re going out again the next night. Dorothy’s a bit uncomfortable, but doesn’t object to it.

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Sophia hustles Rose out of the house at 5:30 am, waking Dorothy in the process. They’re trying to beat a rival sandwich vendor named Johnny No-Thumbs, who Dorothy accurately pegs is mob-connected. However, she has other worries: Jeffrey dumped her under the guise of shipping out on a top-secret mission. Blanche unexpectedly comes home from a date with Stan to a now-pissed off Dorothy.

The next day, they’re shopping in a grocery store, and Dorothy is giving Blanche the silent treatment. She believes Blanche slept with Stan the previous night, which Blanche denies. Blanche protests that Dorothy was the one who asked her to go out with Stan, and that it’s unfair for Dorothy to be angry at her just because she didn’t have a terrible time. Dorothy realizes that she’s not acting right and apologizes to Blanche . . . at least until Blanche says she’s going out with Stan again that night.

*Blanche’s grocery cart taps Sophia’s* SOPHIA: Ah! I hurt my back, I’m paralyzed! BLANCHE: Sophia? SOPHIA: Oh, it’s you. Look where you’re going.

They cross paths with Sophia and Rose, who’re getting supplies for their sandwich business. Blanche is worried because Johnny No-Thumbs leaned on them, but Sophia says she’s going to call in her own connections. Meanwhile, Dorothy continues to rage at Blanche for going out with Stan, making a scene such that other shoppers get involved. Finally Blanche gets exasperated at protesting her innocence and storms off.

Later that night, Sophia is trying to school Rose on proper business practices, including the valuable lesson to “Quit being an idiot.” Dorothy is coming in and out of the kitchen, seething that Blanche is still out. Sophia tells a “Picture It” story about coming to America, only to prove Rose forgot the aforementioned lesson. Dorothy grabs her coat to go to Stan’s hotel room and confront him and Blanche. Right after she leaves, there’s a ring at the bell: Two thugs walk in, saying Johnny No-Thumbs sent them.

ROSE: Sophia, it’s for you!

In Stan’s hotel room, he’s got company and tells her to hide under the covers when Dorothy knocks. Dorothy tells him she’s just there to talk to “her,” pointing at the bed. She goes on a long monologue about how hurt she is that the woman under the covers would put dating Stan ahead of their friendship and is mad at her for not being honest about sleeping with him. The person in the bed throws the covers back: It’s a 20-something blonde who laughs in Dorothy’s horrified face.

Dorothy returns home to see Sophia and Rose with flowers. Sophia’s own mob connections came through and got Johnny No-Thumbs to back off. The two are also getting out of the sandwich business. They tell Dorothy that Blanche is in the living room. Dorothy goes out there and sincerely apologizes, saying her emotions were very confusing and she shouldn’t have taken it out on Blanche. Blanche accepts her apology and says her word for those weird feelings is “magenta.” They make up, and Blanche asks Dorothy why she ever married a man like Stan. Dorothy says Stan used to be handsome, charming, and there’s one other reason:

DOROTHY: And, of course, I was four months pregnant.

“Stanley, you truly are one chromosome away from being a potato.”

Stan makes his second season debut in an episode where he really only appears at the beginning and the end, despite him being the source of conflict. We get another instance of Blanche and Dorothy getting into conflict over a man, as well as a B-plot of Sophia’s get-rich-quick schemes, the latter of which Rose is also drawn into. Each of the Girls has something to do this episode, and the handling of some fairly complex and incendiary emotions elevates it above a simple love triangle episode -- though not by much, if I’m being honest.

Bea Arthur gets to put on a masterclass of conflicting emotions. Even before Jeffrey dumps her, she’s still uncomfortable with her ex-husband and her best friend getting close, but it really reaches a fever pitch afterwards. She’s upset, can’t really articulate why, and even admits that she doesn’t fully understand what she’s feeling. I really appreciate it when a show doesn’t hold my hand and spell out what a character’s feeling, letting me figure out why Dorothy might be bent out of shape without having her say it outright.

ROSE: *about selling English muffins disguised as Belgian waffles* I was cute then, so I could get away with it. SOPHIA: Don’t worry, you get cute again when you hit 80. How do you think I’m gonna peddle this slop?

The “magenta” scene is probably the best of the episode, and the most quoteable in day-to-day life. If there were ever a single word that describes feeling a mess of emotions all at once, it would probably be “magenta.” I don’t even hate magenta, like Blanche does, but I still use it sometimes.

Stan is a . . . tricky character. On the one hand, Herb Edelman’s charm and chemistry with the actresses, Bea Arthur especially, makes him fun to watch and he makes sympathetic a character who might otherwise be pretty unlikeable. But on the other hand, his actions are pretty unlikeable here. Sure, he’s going through a personal crisis, but he imposes himself on his ex-wife (whom he left after 38 years of marriage for a younger woman with nary a goodbye, let us not forget) and refuses to take no for an answer when she refuses to spend her evening comforting him.

It’s a bit odd that, other than a couple of lines exchanged at the very beginning of the episode, we don’t see Stan and Blanche actually interact. Considering their burgeoning friendship is the conflict of the episode, I think it would have added something to the episode -- not to mention I feel we missed something by not having Rue McClanahan and Herb Edelman do any scenes together. Also, where is Stan, who just lost his business, getting the money to take Blanche on the dates that he is?

STAN: I lost it, Dorothy! DOROTHY: *looking off to the side* You never had it, Stanley!

Then again, it’s probably a good thing that we don’t see too much, because the lack of information is what gives Dorothy’s suspicions their impact. I wish she trusted Blanche a bit more and didn’t immediately jump to thinking the worst of her, but I can also see why it’s hard for her to believe Blanche can have a platonic relationship with a man -- any man. And I also appreciate Blanche standing up for herself, even reaching a point where she’s not going to humor Dorothy anymore.

The B-plot marks the second get-rich-quick scheme the Girls have partaken in in three episodes. It’ll be a recurring secondary plot on this show, mostly instigated by Sophia, and this is the first time she’s roped someone else into it. She and Rose make an hilarious pair, especially with her constantly taking advantage of Rose’s naivete and dimness. The ministory about Johnny No-Thumbs attempting to lean on them and Uncle Vito from Palermo leaning right back with a threat to “Johnny No-Knees” is the most amusing part of the episode.

Still, I do have some logistical questions. Rose has apparently got her job as a grief counselor back and is no longer a waitress at the Fountain Rock -- no explanation for that, but whatever, I can suspend my disbelief. Presumably that means she has to work normal hours, so how does she have time to man a sandwich stand with Sophia?

SOPHIA: Lesson number one: Quit being an idiot! ROSE: Okay! SOPHIA: Lesson number two: The law of supply and demand. Before you supply the sandwiches, you demand the money. Lesson number three: Quit being an idiot. [...] ROSE: That’s a really moving story, Sophia. But what exactly is the point? SOPHIA: The point is, you already forgot lessons one and three: Quit being an idiot!

Also, this marks, I think, the second time in the series that Sophia tells a “Picture It...” story. It’s a blatant lie, of course, but Estelle Getty makes every one of these enjoyable.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite Part of the Episode:

ROSE: Where are you going? DOROTHY: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I’ll decide in the car.

#golden girls #picture it #stay golden #stay golden sunday #dorothy zbornak #sophia petrillo #blanche devereaux #rose nylund #take him he's mine #s02e03 #stan zbornak

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stardancerluv · 4 years

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Is Immortality the Ultimate Gift?

Part 2

Summary: Reuniting...

Warning: angst, mention of blood

Arthur’s night: 🎃👻😈 Happy Halloween! 🎃👻😈 This mini series, is an AU of Ewan McGregor’s character in the Tales of the Cyrpt, episode Cold War. It was the first thing, I ever saw Ewan in. And I’ve been a fan ever since.

“Little Lambkin?” You heard the voice, it was still deep with soft raspiness.

The screecher came bouncing over with her large cocktail. “Ford?” She looked between the two of you.

You were truly at a loss for words, your eyes moved over his features. It was him, but how could it be. How had the two of you never crossed paths. Aylwin, it was simple. He used him, then disposed of him. It was a miracle he survived.

In that first year, you had been a ravenous beast. He had been there to rein you in and show you the life in the shadows. You swallowed hard, remembering what it had been like.

Moving closer, you felt his cold fingers on your face. You couldn’t stop yourself from flinching. How long had you missed his touch?

“I probably shouldn’t have done that.” He withdrew his fingers.

If you could cry, you would have started. Last time you cried was when the ocean took, Aylwin. You didn’t love him but you cared. After a few centuries together, it happened.

“Yeah, you stupid wanker. Why are you touching her?” She screeched, her eyes were aflame with irritation as she glanced at you.

You breathed, resisting the urge to snap her neck

You swallowed, “Go,” You looked at him and reluctantly her. “In the alleyway there is a warm meal you can enjoy. We can talk at my table.”

“What makes you think I want your scraps?” She took a sip of the obscenely large cocktail.

You turned towards her. “Isn’t that why you came in here?” You spat out.

“I’ll go and eat. Come on, Cammy. It’s been awhile.” He hung his head.

“Fine.” She said through her teeth.

Life ceased to bother you. Seeing, what humanity had gone through entertained and saddened you. As many strides forward they made they also had taken so many steps back.

Seeing, Thomas knocked you. You managed to get back to your table. You motioned to the barman.

“Yes?” He came over with an eagerness in his step. You had given him very good business. He surely wanted to keep you happy.

You held up your glass. “I’ll have another of mine, and for the gentlemen...”

“That punk?”

Your eyes met his, he took a step back. “I’m sorry, is he a friend of yours?”He was immediately contrite.

“One from a very long time ago.” You looked down at your glass.

He pressed his lips together. “Be careful. Her and him are quite the annoyance in these parts. For you, I won’t make a big deal.”

You smiled, it was forced. You didn’t like what he said. “Thank you. But for my I mean for the gentlemen, whatever he wants I will pay for. As for her, she can pay for her own drinks.”

He cracked a small smile. “Very good.” He walked away then.

You finished the drink. Thomas, walked in you noticed, he made haste for the men’s room. His smell was distinctly different than hers. Not much better, but different.

She came a short time later. She grabbed her cocktail and then coming over, she sat across you. Opening, your purse you pulled out a handkerchief.

You noticed a red smudge on her cheek. “There’s a little on your face.”

“Oh!” She took it.

“On your cheek.” You gestured.

She wiped it and handed it back.

You held up a hand. “Keep it.”

“Thank you.” She tucked it into her cleavage. “So what are you doll-face? I didn’t see any marks on him.” She cut to the chase.

Thomas, came back and sat near you. His arm resting on the back of the soft booth, he faced both of you. Seeing, the flush of life in his otherwise porcelain pallor was pleasing.

She sipped at her drink. “I just asked her what she is Ford.”

He looked at you. “I have my suspicions.”

The barman came over then. “Thank you.” You said as he placed the drink beside you.

When the barman spoke to Thomas, it gave you a chance to look him over. “Is there something you would like?”

“Two fingers of Johnny Walker if you have it.”

You noticed something hanging from his throat. If it had been anyone or anything else you would have gotten up, for him you stayed.

“Ice?”

“Sure, thank you.”

“You still have a good taste.”

“Somethings don’t change.”

Once, seeing the that man was out of earshot you answered.

“I’m a vampire.”

His lips curled in a way that made you ignore what he was around his throat and reminded you of the past.

“I had a feeling he did that to you.” He sneered. He looked at the barman. “Thank you.” He took a sip.

“Anything else?” The barman looked at all of you.

You shook your head.

She wiggled in her seat. “I thought so when I saw the kid all dazed and shit.”

Your irritation was growing the more she screeched. “He made you a ghoul.” It wasn’t a question, just a sad statement.

“He drained me for you.”

She snickered, clapping. “I love hearing these kind of stories.”

You shot her a look, thankfully she shut up. “He told me, you died.”

Thomas, threw his head back and a bark of laughter came from him. His throat, you noticed looked especially delicious. The laughter, had an edge you were not familiar with.

“There were times when I wish he had.” His eyes gleamed. You noticed, she made an overly dramatic sad pout on her face when he said that. “Instead, he poisoned what was left. He told me, my blood killed you.” He took a sip.

“To our deaths!” The screecher held up her large glass.

You slid her a look.

“Cammy.” His face tightened.

“Fine.” She finished her drink. “I came here to dance. You two,” Making a dismissive gesture with her hand, she slipped of her chair. “Talk. I’m going to dance.”

She swished over to the jukebox. You soon found out, her taste in music was as bad as her taste in clothes.

“Did he help or do anything else?” He never seemed to leave your side for long. You could not even imagine what he had gone through. Maybe it was easier as a ghoul.

Looking over, you were grateful she was in the other half of the bar. Finally, you moved closer to him; in doing so, you brushed against his hand. It felt warmer.

“Once, the change was complete, he told me a few things, I needed to know. And that was the sum of it.” He took a big pull on the whisky. Vaguely, you wondered if the liquor still effected him. It only effected you if it was in the blood stream when you fed. “And you?”

“We didn’t part ways till, the Titanic went down.”

His eyes grew. “Seriously?”

You nodded, taking a sip. “I didn’t know what else to do. He took care of everything.” You wished you could read his expression or had the ability to read his mind. Though you heard, ghouls were incredibly simple. Nothing except basic needs and wants, so most likely nothing was there now. Maybe that was a blessing. “He trained me and told me everything.” You pressed your lips together. “Well, apparently not everything.”

“Did you marry him? Do vampires do that kind of thing?” His lip curled before taking a sip.

His words stung, they had never stung. “No, you were my husband.” You finished your drink.

“Lambkin, that was a very long time ago.” His fingers, drifted along his glass.

“Yes, though when you have nothing to fear, time no longer exists. My only fear was the sun. After sometime, I decided not to walk out into it.”

“Why?”

“Because it had been your blood that kept me alive.”

“He told you?”

“Yes, it was during that when you supposedly died.”

“I see.”

“So I never let anyone else enter my heart,” You paused, remembering Thomas. “Well, except Thomas. He was my wolf companion, I named him after you. He was a lot like you.” You smiled with real emotions, for the first time in quite a while. You were used to plastering one on.

He smiled. “How is that?”

“His fur,” You couldn’t stop yourself. You moved even closer to him. “Was as black as your hair. A night without stars.”

Saying that brought the sweet throb of pain. It was something, you had once told him. Reaching out, you let your fingers graze his inky strands. Your fingertips moved fast, he surely felt them but they were not slow enough for anyone to realize you moved.

“And his eyes were blue like yours.” This time you allowed your fingers to graze from his temple to his cheek. It was almost too much. It was a sweet agony.

Turning, you had to look away from him. All of this was so much. Memories, from before had softened you. Now all of this was ripping you apart.

His hand reached out to your hand that rested in your lap, he squeezed it. It was warm from feeding.

You looked down at your hands. “I need to know Thomas.” You looked back at him.

“Anything.”

“Besides the bullet, is that a pair of vampire fangs around your throat?”

He withdrew his hand, his fingers reached up and he tugged on the leather cord. You watched him look away.

Looking back at you, his eyes had darkened. “Yes, he had tried to kill me. That is why the bullet.”

That made you feel a little better but it still prickled you with fear. “Excuse me for a moment?”

“Of course.”

Going outside, the breeze felt good. You had to see the ally, it was awash with blood. Oddly, seeing what was left of the kid made you feel better.

His smell, lingered you could not tell if it was from what he had done a few feet from you or when you touched him.

You felt two hands on your shoulders. “So was my stench too much for you or was it that I killed a vampire?” His voice a whisper.

You closed your eyes, gently you put your hands over his. “No.”

Turning, to face him the wind whipped your hair into your face.

“Thomas...”

When he touched you this time you didn’t flinch.

@mac-n-cheesie @shantellorraine @fandomgirl800 @vcat55 @pooshnulooshnu @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching

@greybeardthetotallylegalpirate (wasn’t sure!) if you don’t want to be...pm me!

#ford #cold war tales from the cyrpt #ewan mcgregor #ford x reader #ford x you #ford x y/n #part two #Is Immortalized the Ultimate Gift #cold war

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emachinescat · 4 years

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Night and Morning with My Tears

A Merlin Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat

@febuwhump day 20 - betrayal

Summary: Takes place when Merlin is Morgana’s prisoner in "A Servant of Two Masters.” When Morgana looks into Merlin’s eyes, what she sees there surprises and angers her in equal measure. Merlin has no right to act betrayed, not when his betrayal was so much worse.

Characters: Morgana, Merlin

Words: 1,756

TW: None

Notes: Takes place during “A Master of Two Servants,” with flashbacks to “The Fires of Idirsholas,” so there will be spoilers for both of those episodes!

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

I was angry with my friend:

I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe:

I told it not, my wrath did grow.

- From “A Poison Tree” by William Blake

And I watered it in fears.

Night and morning with my tears:

And I sunned it with smiles.

And with soft deceitful wiles.

Morgana Pendragon stands before her prisoner, eyes cold and green like the deep forest. Despite her anger at her men for failing so miserably in their task, she cannot say that she is displeased to see Merlin again. Although the servant’s mere presence incites a furnace of rage within her, he could prove very useful in her plans to kill Arthur – and if she is able to play with him in the process, make him pay for what he did to her sister, then all the better.

Merlin hangs, unconscious, from his wrists. He is too tall for the stooping ceiling of her hovel, so his legs fold awkwardly beneath him. His chin rests against his chest, and he sports a nasty wound on one shoulder. She will probably end up healing it eventually, as infection is beginning to set in. She needs Merlin healthy for her plans for him. Still, she supposes she can let him suffer a bit before she takes on the task of cleaning the wound. Any amount of pain he endures will be nothing compared to what he has inflicted upon her, time and time again.

When she throws a cold bucket of water into his face, he wakes, coughing, and gasping; she smirks. When he regains his bearings and locks eyes with her, any satisfaction or pleasure she receives from his struggles melts away like candle wax under a flame. It has been a long time since she has looked into those very blue eyes from mere feet away, and what she finds in them is unsettling and unexpected – they are familiar, but foreign, and they stir up memories that she prefers to keep hidden, even from herself.

Stolen glances, conspiring winks, soft smiles. Fighting bandits in Ealdor, not out of duty, not for Camelot, but out of loyalty, for a friend. Defeating a clay monster, teasing Arthur, smuggling Mordred out of the citadel. This is a part of her life so disconnected from herself that she has all but convinced herself that it happened to someone else.

But a chilly fierceness has descended over his eyes like a veil, and it is as if she is looking at an entirely different person all together. Long ago, back before Morgana knew of her powers and heritage, when she was young and naive and living a life of luxury, Merlin had never failed to have a smile on his face. He spoke softly and kindly, and Morgana had loved the compassion for others she could sense in his gaze. That innocence has vanished, leaving him suspicious, cruel, and hard.

There is one emotion that Morgana detects in those blue eyes that causes a righteous fury to swell inside her like a summer tempest, tints her vision red and sends her hurtling back into her past, to the worst moment of her entire life, and she has to restrain herself from ending Merlin’s miserable existence then and there. Pace yourself, Morgana. You have use for him yet.

But it is a hard battle. Indignation seizes her heart and squeezes. How dare Merlin have the audacity to look betrayed when he looks back at her? How dare he act as if she is in the wrong, as if she is the one who has turned against her friends? Morgana has no friends, not anymore. She has no family. And she has Merlin to thank for that.

He has no right to act like she is betraying him by capturing him, holding him as her prisoner in the hovel he might as well have picked out for her. Morgana is the only one who has the right to feel betrayed – what she has planned for Merlin is nothing, nothing, compared to what he did to her.

***

Dying is strange, if you think about it. It is the one thing, other than being born, that unites all of humanity, all creatures. Two people may live out lives on opposite ends of the map, may never meet one another; one may be a king, the other a slave, one a scholar, the other a simpleton. And yet, someday, they both will die. Death unites us all, even as it tears us apart. The funny thing is, although everyone is plodding forward to the same destiny, only those who have walked the path to completion know what it is like. Death is the great equalizer, but no one who meets it can divulge its secret. It is at once the most common experience of mankind and its greatest secret.

Morgana came closer to discovering that secret than most people who have played the delicate strings of life and death when she was poisoned by a man she called her friend. Even now, when she recalls that moment when she realized that something was wrong – I can’t breathe, oh gods – her blood drains from her body and fear replaces it, cold and numbing and terrible. She remembers with complete clarity the feel of her throat swelling, can hear the rasp of her breath and see her vision becoming a vignette, dark around the edges, closing in, prowling ever closer.

Dying was bad enough. Dying of poison, feeling her body shut down, attack itself, turn on her, was hell. By far the worst part of Morgana’s death, however, was the moment she realized who was responsible. Her entire world came crashing down when her eyes, bulging from the panicked strain of trying to pull in breath where none existed, traveled from the discarded water-skin to the servant she called her friend. If she had doubted his involvement before, it was confirmed with the expression on his face. He reeked of regret and guilt; shame radiated off of him and contaminated the air around them.

Merlin had poisoned her. Merlin, the clumsy, goofy, kind-hearted, loyal servant of the prince, the man she had risked her life for more than once, who had treated her like a person instead of royalty, who had been her friend when she felt alone and afraid as her powers blossomed – Merlin was killing her. It was like she had been stabbed in the heart, that realization, and for a brief moment that could have been the rest of her life, that knowledge that she was dying at the hand of her friend hurt far more than her closing airway, than her lungs starved for air, than the pain and the fear and the darkness of death swooping ever closer.

She backed away, her limbs clumsy; they no longer belonged to her, only the living had use of them. Through pain-hazed vision, she watched as Merlin walked over, sat near her, saw his lips move without hearing his words, and then he was gathering her into his arms, holding her close, and she tried to fight, tried to call out, tried to escape, but – she was helpless.

He sat with her, held her, rocked her like she was a child, and she felt his face against the top of her head, felt warm tears hit her scalp, and she couldn’t breathe, her ears rang like tinny chimes and her vision flickered, her hands and feet tingled like she’d been sitting on them all day, and her chest wouldn’t move.

Oh gods.

The feel of his touch made her want to scream, burning vile fingerprints into her skin. She heard a terrible noise, a choking, garbled sound, and realized it was her. She tried to squirm away from him, from this disgusting facsimile of comfort, partially wondering what his game was, why he was acting like he cared about her, what he could possibly gain by holding her as she died of a poison he had administered. The other part of her knew that it didn’t matter, and resigned itself to the fact that the last touch she was going to feel before she died was that of the man who had killed her.

Her last few seconds of consciousness were comprised of pure terror; she floated in that empty space between life and death, felt everything and nothing, and was consumed by her fear and the overwhelming, blood-freezing understanding that she didn’t want to die. She had done nothing to deserve this; she had only been his friend. It didn’t matter that she didn’t wish for death, that she had plans for her life, that she could have made a difference, that she had a sister she was just getting to know and that she could do so much more. All control had been stripped away, any choice and free will had been stolen in an act of violence and betrayal that she simply could not understand.

Right before she gave in to the pain and the cold and the dark, she realized that she hated Merlin.

When she awoke, sometime later, to Morgause’s concerned brown eyes, not knowing how she could be alive but grateful nonetheless, that feeling of hatred hadn’t dimmed. In fact, it had grown, and it continued to fester, burrowing deep into her soul like a cherished tumor, one that she fed and nurtured, loved and despised in equal measure.

And she waited, knowing that a time would come to repay Merlin for the terrible sins he had committed against her, for taking the trust she had in him and crushing it beneath his ratty servant’s boot.

***

No, Merlin does not deserve to feel betrayed, to look at her through eyes tinted with hurt. He has no right to speak of loyalty, or friends. He pretends at being loyal to Arthur, but Morgana has seen his heart, has felt the rot inside of his soul, and knows that it is only a matter of time before he betrays his beloved king as well. Merlin is no mere servant – he is a hollow man, filled only with cruelty and hate, and sooner or later, he will destroy everything he loves.

Morgana is only helping that process along with the Fomorroh. She relishes the look of betrayal melting into fear. His wide eyes and hitched breath whisper comfort to her innermost hurts.

And when he screams, she smiles.

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heka-write · 6 years

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Merlin Rewrite #6: Morgana and Gwen’s Relationship

This relationship between Gwen and Morgana is not really talked about much in the fandom nor the show, and I think that’s a shame. I touched upon this friendship in both Morgana’s and Gwen’s respective posts, but I feel like this topic deserves it’s own focus.

We always knew that the main friendship of the show was between the two guys Merlin and Arthur. They took the center stage of the conflict as the manservant and the King. Their interactions started out tumultuous but later they grew to care about one another as close friends.

The Morgana and Gwen friendship was set up as a perfect foil to Merthur. Inversely, they started out as close friends but later became enemies because of their alliances. However, this direction of their relationship was not because the writer’s gave them the time and attention they needed to develop, but merely because that’s what parties they were coincidentally on. Gwen was on the good side, so Morgana had to hate her when she turned evil, even though it didn’t make any sense.

Their Relationship on the Show

We saw snippets of Morgana and Gwen interacting in season 1. They have a friendly relationship, and Morgana is very kind to her despite being her mistress. Morgana came to Gwen’s defense when she and her father were both put in jail, and even tried helping her father free himself later. Gwen risks her life in helping Morgana save Mordred, and they both team up together to help Merlin later on. Even though they had a lot of great moments showing their friendship, they were always in the background of the conflict, never at the forefront like Merthur.

Then Season 2 came around. Gwen started spending a lot more time with Arthur and Merlin, and whenever Morgana wasn’t the center of the episode she seemed to be missing entirely. We got a good display of their friendship in “Lancelot and Guinevere” when Morgana does everything in her power to get a rescue squad sent out to Gwen but that was about it. After that, their interactions all but stopped and Morgana turned evil and everything went down hill.

This lack of interaction made absolutely no sense to me because Gwen seemed to trust Morgana. Would she really not say a thing about her feelings for Arthur to Morgana? Wouldn’t Morgana be for Gwen X Arthur because she didn’t believe in the class system? Or maybe Morgana would try to push Gwen onto Lancelot knowing he likes her and is also a civilian like her (thus furthering that love triangle like the show was trying to do already)? These are the types of scenes I’d expect form Morgana and Gwen but we didn’t get them because the writer’s stopped caring about Morgana’s relationships after they decided to make her evil!

Like I said in my Morgana rant, Morgana suddenly turned evil in season 3 for no reason, and in turn, suddenly started hating Gwen for no reason.

Morgana comes back in season 3, heartlessly murdering anyone who comes in her way. The murdering part is very OOC, but her anger is somewhat in character. To some extent she understandably hates Merlin for betraying her, hates Arthur for idealizing Uther, and hates Gwen...for some reason. She is willing to use Gwen and her brother as bait for Arthur (even though she almost turned against Uther to save Gwen’s father previously), has a dream where Gwen becomes Queen and FREAKS out, and callously tosses her life aside numerous times. Morgana’s treatment of Gwen was probably one of the things that made her “transition” to evil very OOC and unbelievable. There was no reason for Morgana to hate Gwen so much. Even her anger at Merlin and Arthur didn’t justify the extent of her violent behavior, so her anger at Gwen made even less sense. Again, it was just another way for the writers to toss aside Morgana’s character complexity to give the show a steady villain.

In reality, if Morgana really went to the dark side she wouldn’t target Gwen so much because she saw Gwen as one of the people Uther targeted.

How it Should Have Been Done

Merlin and Arthur have so many big and small moments showing their dedication to one another, showing how they grow together. Arthur has made big sacrifices for Merlin and vice versa. However, the problem with the show was that after season 1 Merthur became more important than everyone else. Every relationship, including Morgana and Gwen’s, took a backseat. Like I mentioned in my first rewrite post, the conflict between Merthur (the magic revelation) didn’t happen at the very end of the series, so there was no separation or time for them to interact significantly with other characters. It would have been much more beneficial for the show to give all the characters dynamic relationships that allowed them to interact with each other and explore different sides to their personality.

I would also have Morgana and Gwen’s relationship start off good, hit a roadblock, and have them find their way back to each other. Their relationship would be great until Morgana turns to the dark side (but doesn’t completely turn evil, again only doing so to further her own purpose).

Gwen would want to be loyal to Morgana and help magical people, the way she helped with Mordred. However, Morgana joining the side that directly opposes Camelot would give Gwen pause, because she grew up in the Kingdom and loves it and wouldn’t want anything to threaten it. She would be conflicted between her friend and what she perceives as a threat to her home.

I can see Gwen turning completely against Morgana when she learns (somehow) that Morgana was ultimately the one responsible for her father’s death. Gwen begins to resent magic as it was the cause of her father’s death, and in turn begins to resent Morgana for partaking in magic and hurting her father. As Gwen grows closer romantically to Arthur, she begins to resent Morgana as well and this puts a strain on their friendship. This situation would give a more complex view on their relationship and have it go bad gradually and realistically. This type of revelation would also help in Morgana’s struggle in finding the right way to fight for magical people’s rights without hurting others.

At this point, Morgana would be away from Camelot, figuring out her own path and dealing with the dark forces without becoming unreasonably evil. Like I mentioned before, I could see a situation where Gwen is kidnapped and Arthur goes to save her, and Morgana tags along to help because even though she resents Arthur, she still cares about Gwen. She not only proves to Arthur she is loyal and good hearted but also to Gwen, who she risks her life to save. This situation would help soften both Arthur and Gwen’s hearts to magic but also help Morgana see that she can work with them to make the world a better place, and not against them. In the end, she’d still go back to going rogue, but a progression in all their relationships would happen that would be a stepping stone in her coming back.

I would also have Morgana realistically react to the idea of Gwen becoming Queen. I think the real Morgana, if she went rogue, wouldn’t hate the idea of Arthur marrying a servant, in fact I think she would be impressed by it. Morgana since the beginning had the impression that Arthur was just going to turn out like Uther, but him marrying non-royalty would be one more proof to her that he is capable of changing the old ways. It would give her one more reason to come back to Camelot (with a peaceful way of bringing magic back).

The more I think about it, the more I know that Morgana written after season 3 was OOC as hell.

Another aspect I’d include in their relationship would be the female perspective of the show. What I mean by that is that the show revolves around Merlin and Arthur but rarely explores the troubles Gwen-Morgana had to deal with in being women in a time where they didn’t have rights, and had a lot more restrictions. Instead of having the Gwen-Morgana bond shoved aside to glorify Merthur, I’d have their bond complement it in ways that enhance both relationships and all the characters involved.

#morgwen #morgana pendragon #merlin #merthur #guinevere #blog #essays

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nellie-elizabeth · 5 years

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Elementary: Reichenbach Falls (7x12)

I can't help but feel that this episode was slightly anticlimactic. Let's talk about it.

Cons:

Anybody who knows anything about Sherlock Holmes knows what "Reichenbach Falls" means. So honestly it's a little insulting that they tried to fool us for even one second with the idea that Sherlock might really be dead. When they did the "reveal" that he had fled the country, I sighed and rolled my eyes. They did that thing where they kept him off-screen for as long as possible so we'd all be "surprised" at the last second. But like I said, was there really a single person watching the show who was surprised by that twist?

It's also patently obvious that Joan was in on the plan. There's that moment when Sherlock says they have to "plan a murder of their own" and it's supposed to be a trick, like we think Sherlock and Joan are planning Odin's murder. But obviously he's talking about the plan to fake his own death in order to frame Odin for killing him. I just don't want to waste any time in next week's finale hashing out the details of this ridiculously obvious plan.

Doing the Sherlock Holmes death fake-out thing is a classic of adaptation. I don't begrudge them for putting their own spin on it, and as I will discuss below, there were things about this version that I actually really enjoyed. But on the other hand, it felt a bit forced. Like of course they had to give it a try, and this is what they came up with. Sherlock states that they missed their one and only chance to get Reichenbach, and that leads him to the desperate plan that we see him enact. But I don't know if I'm convinced that their backs were really up against the wall. They needed to do more to convince me that this was really the best and only solution to the Odin Reichenbach problem.

One last note on how this all went down: they subverted many of the expectations about the classic fall/death moment, and I did appreciate that. But earlier in the season, when Joan's name was being thrown around as a potential weakness for Sherlock, I really thought they were building to an even bigger subversion. I thought maybe when it came down to it, Joan would be the one to "die." Think of how interesting and different that would have been. Imagine a true Reichenbach fake-out ending, where Joan is forced to make a move without the time to properly prepare Sherlock for it. She seemingly falls to her death, and Sherlock believes it, until the truth comes out. Now that would be something different, and interesting, and intense. I can't blame the episode for not doing what I hoped it would do. But I guess I just wish that in its final episodes, Elementary could have found a way to pull off another Natalie-Dormer-sized twist. If they couldn't get their Moriarty back, they might have found another way to twist a classic into something shiny and new.

Pros:

All that said, they did make some changes to the formula that I thought were pretty cool. Other than the obvious fact that this villain isn't Moriarty, although he does fulfill the tropes of the classic spider-like Professor from the originals, there's the fact that Odin doesn't die. Instead of Sherlock faking his death to ensure his nemesis will perish, he uses the fake-out to capture Odin, to get him arrested and start him on the path to his own destruction. This is a really clever change, and one that I definitely wouldn't have expected. It makes perfect sense, though - it's the ultimate sign of the philosophical differences between these two people. Sherlock knows that Odin is dangerous - knows that he has killed, and will kill again. But he still wants to find a way for him to be punished through legal channels, without resulting to vigilantism. Odin, on the other hand, continues his plan of executing potential threats, right up to the end. The system doesn't always work. In fact, it often fails. But Sherlock knows that killing people isn't the answer. He's not willing to cross that line, even now.

I also appreciate that Joan appears to be in on the plan, even though it's telegraphed far too obviously within the episode. Traditionally, Watson isn't supposed to know that Holmes is alive, but for Sherlock to pull that kind of a move here would have been wildly out of character. So I appreciate that it seems pretty clear that she was fully aware, and worked with Sherlock to pull this off.

Also, there's just the general angst of this scenario. I'm a sucker for it, as always. While Joan appears to know what's going on, Bell and Gregson seem ignorant of the plan. This means that we got to watch two of Sherlock's dearest friends try to process their grief and anger over what happened. Gregson getting in Odin's face was particularly affecting. And Bell has this quieter grief going on. I think he's in shock. He's just looking for answers, like if he can find Sherlock's body, it will allow him to accept the awful truth.

Despite my many problems with how this went down, the acting in that final moment on the bridge was really great. So much tension. I almost wish Odin could have been more Moriarty-esque. Not in the traditional Arthur Conan Doyle sense, but in the later-adaptation sense - a long-standing villain, cropping up again and again through the life of the show. But even without a multi-season buildup, this scene had a proper epic scope. It was very simple. Nothing elaborate, nothing too built up or ridiculous. Just two men talking on a bridge. Very well performed by both actors.

I think that's where I'll leave it. As you may be able to tell from my above comments, one of my main disappointments with this episode is simply that this show has never managed to top what it did at the end of the first season. Here at the end, I was hoping for something to really blow me away, and instead what I got was... perfectly fine. I'll still be a bit sad to say goodbye to these characters next week!

7.5/10

#review #elementary #elementary review #elementary cbs #sherlock holmes

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soveryanon · 5 years

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Four weeks later, reviewing time for MAG139 /o/

-I’m still crying over how the first time Tim ever spoke on tape, he pointed out so many mistakes/typos/misreadings from statements that were faaar from being one-liner but actually… Big Mysteries that are still relevant now. Amongst those:

(MAG033) TIM: Um… oh, and here, in Miss Montauk’s statement about her father’s killings. You refer to case, um, 9220611 as case, um, 1106922. Oh, and don’t get me started on the other case numbers around the Hill Top hauntings, they’re a mess! […] So, in case 8163103… it isn’t clear if Albrecht’s wife is called “Clara” or “Carla”, ‘cause you keep switching back and forth…

Aaaand it was in that episode that we heard about “Peter Lukas” for the first time ever. I miss Tim and gdi, he had a good nose…

- I want to say a word about Jon’s reading of the statement in itself: “Jon, what the FUCK.” Part of why it was so sneakily terrifying was… how much Jon was into it? He totally ran with the sheer glee and cruelty, especially, I felt, in these moments:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “It’s hard to say how much I’ve got left in me; how much longer my sacrifices can buy me. But when I go… you better believe I’m going big – and it is going to hurt. […] And I hurt so very many people… A building fire is a dreadful thing – but so much more dreadful when it’s shining out into that night. It was the first of my crimes, but not the last, and arson has always been my thing. It’s such a simple way to destroy everything someone has built, both literally, and figuratively. […] I was to secure her sacrifices. I would spare you the details, but I do not wish to~”

Presumably, the dramatic reading is still a Jon Thing and not intrinsically spooky, but w o w Jon, you didn’t have to take that edge for a sadistic serial killer.

- YEAH OKAY, and Eugene was terrifying per se. Why are all Desolation people Like That. And Eugene started… very young:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “So, me? I was born in ’36 […]. But now, staggering through the ruins of his life, the look I saw on his face… it woke something in me. Something… truly awful… Anyone who talks about “the Blitz spirit” wasn’t there, or wants to paper over their fear with nostalgia. Terrible things happened in the Blackout, and we hurt each other just as much as the Germans hurt us. And I hurt so very many people…”

He… wasn’t even ten, back then…

;; Aaaand once again, demonstration that spooks tend to go for the easy, vulnerable targets:

Gerry had commented about the fact that the world becoming a Factory Farm for a Fear God would mean being able to snatch everything (MAG111: “right now all the entities have to act like a hunter, they pick off the weak ones around the edges, the ones that wander too close, and the rest of the time they have to just graze on whatever fear we all passively give away.”) but it’s always upsetting when we get Spooks describing their preferred targets… ;;

Eugene said that he was already seventy, he’s now eighty, Jon had found hints that he was probably still active (MAG139, Jon: “looking at the details for the British Steel Plant in Scunthorpe, it does seem like Eugene is still around. So I can only assume… some sort of equilibrium was found. Given what happened when I met Jude Perry, I’m not in any rush to track him or… any of them down myself.”), but given how Eugene had promised that he would be “going big” at the end of his life, it… probably won’t be pretty.

(And I totally understand that Jon feels like it’s not his own battle! But at every little concession, my heart breaks a bit. There are still people in the coffin; Eugene is probably still taking foreign workers even after Agnes’s death, for his own sacrifices… and it’s true that it’s not the Archive team’s role to save them, that they have bigger things to focus on? But they know what is happening, and that still means that innocents are getting killed and/or consumed and they… let it happen. It feels so Beholding, to know and to allow it, feeding from the scraps of the surviving witnesses’ tales…? They’re not actively allowing these terrible things to happen but they take advantage of that whole system…)

Eugene also highlighted how in the end, the cults/clusters/congregations of people worshipping the same concept are… human-made. There doesn’t seem to be any special instructions or a divine revelation about how they should proceed; they scramble and try things out, but it’s mostly coming from punctual decisions, in the same way that Robert Smirke made arbitrary decisions regarding his Architecture of the Fears.

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “I found my God through my own path, served It in my own way; and when Arthur and Diego found me, told me there were others that shared my devotion… Well, I can’t say it doesn’t feel nice to belong. Even if we do have our… little disagreements. […] But a longing… is not the same thing as an instruction. We’d all been touched and warped by proximity to the holy Burning Fire, but none of us had any special knowledge, no matter what Diego claims he might have read. […] Some objected, said that unless the child was conceived of the Flame, it could never be a true incarnation. But they had no idea of how such a conception could possibly even work, so it was decided that it would have to be enough to birth the child by fire. […] There was some… division amongst us as to the best course of action, something that will surely not surprise you at this stage.”

It’s kind of impressive that the Lightless Flame managed to be a small cult, that Rayner attracted people around his own “religion”, and that the Magnus Institute apparently managed to establish itself around something its people shared (given that there are the international canals, the Usher Foundation and the Pu Songling Research Centre, who knew about the Archivist’s powers, and Jon was identified in Beijing, Elias was clearly familiar to Xiaolin, etc.). It makes sense, in that regard, that even when feeling like they “belong” and are worshipping the same concept, spooks tend to give their same patrons so many different names – like different aspects of it. I wonder if there are also divisions amongst the Beholding people about their ritual and how they should try to go about it? Outside of the fact that some (Jon…? Please, Jon, confirm that you still don’t want That.) might refuse to partake in it altogether because they’re satisfied with the world as is, like Jared demonstrated in MAG131 in his refusal to join in The Last Feast.

- I wonder to which extent we’re going to hear about the history of the Lightless Flame again, because… it sounds like there are still so many mysteries (even more than before this episode?) and I have no idea if they’ll fall into the left-in-the-air-for-us-to-guess/wonder category (Jonny did promise that we won’t get spoon-fed all the answers, iirc?), or if this will all get cleared up later.

* First, everything around Diego Molina (Malina? Not the first time his name has popped up, but each of his episodes are floating in the no-official-transcript void):

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “We all felt the calling, the dreams, pulling us ever closer to a world of fire and loss, a place of burning, and agony, when we remade the world in the image of the Lightless Flame, the one Diego called “Asag”. […] none of us had any special knowledge, no matter what Diego claims he might have read. […] Arthur has told us not to harm you yet, but this whole thing has really rather weakened his authority, and many of us are now looking towards Diego for leadership. But we shall see, I suppose.”

[…] ARCHIVIST: “Diego”, I assume to be Diego Molina, who Basira crossed paths with back in her Section’d days, and “Arthur”… could be Arthur Nolan – though, going from… the head of a cult to watching over Jane Prentiss as a landlord… does seem like something of a demotion. … God knows. It’s not like I don’t have my own office politics to keep track of.

Jon remembered Basira’s account of her encounter with Diego (when she had been able to tell his name), from MAG043, which gave us an official description of him. He had been involved in the case which got her to sign her first Section 31 form, regarding a fire near Clapham in August 2011, and resulting in the death of a fellow (racist) officer:

(MAG043) BASIRA: He was… a Hispanic male. Probably mid to late forties, heavyset with a completely shaved head. […] I realised for the first time the bald guy’s saying something. Not loud, but intensely. I mean, this was years ago so I don’t remember exactly what he was saying, but it definitely involved the words “cleansing fire”, “all shall be ash”, and the name “Asag”? Which, I later learned, is some kind of Sumerian demon. So that’s fun. […] Our arsonist’s name was Diego Molina. He was assistant curator at some Mexican museum, come over with a loan to the Natural History Museum, but… they hadn’t heard from him for a few weeks. […] The only thing Diego Molina had on him, when we brought him in, was a small book, bound in red leather. They caught Spencer in storage, trying to destroy it with a zippo lighter. […] They told me he killed himself when he got home. Apparently, he’d somehow filled the bath full of boiling water and just… just got in. Official story was he’d somehow done it using a kettle, which… that’s, that’s just about the weakest cover-up I ever heard.

And the description she gave, and the focus on “Asag”, is of course putting to mind the mysterious man from MAG012 who was transported to Lesere Saraki’s service on the night of the 23rd December of 2011 (so six months after Basira’s case), and who had apparently been fighting with Gerry Keay, before Gerry killed him for good in the hospital:

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “Apparently the fire brigade had responded to reports of a blaze in a building site near St Mary’s churchyard, and had turned up to find the two men lying unconscious. There had been no fire, although the ground they lay on showed several burn marks and a metal bar that had been lying nearby appeared to have bent slightly as if from great heat. […] the more I heard, the more it sounded like most of them weren’t in English. The first sounded like “Asak” or “Asag”, then “Veepalach” and finally in English “The Lightless Flame”. The last part was very clear, and I assumed he was talking about whatever burned him, but he said it with such intensity that the words made me feel quite uncomfortable.”

[…] ARCHIVIST: As far as the mystery man’s chanting goes, if it was indeed “Asag” that he was saying, then that’s quite interesting. Asag is the name of a demon in Sumerian mythology associated with disease and corruption, which doesn’t really seem to have much relevance to this statement except that it was also fabled that Asag was able to boil fish alive in their rivers. Admittedly in Sumerian myth this was because he was monstrously ugly but a curious coincidence nonetheless. “Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out.

* Tangent about Gerry but mMMmm, there is one item I had absolutely forgotten about that was mentioned in this episode?

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “He was in almost identical shape to the first, except for the fact that the burns seemed to stop at his neck, along a clear line. It was as though he’d been wearing a choker that the damage couldn’t get above but his neck was bare. […] Like the first, he was completely covered in almost uniform second-degree burns, except for what at first I thought were small black scorch marks. Looking closer, I saw that they were eyes. Small, tattooed eyes on every one of his joints: his knees, his elbows and even his knuckles, as well as just over his heart. I would have expected the burns to have almost destroyed tattoos that small but instead they were unblemished and the skin about a centimetre around each one also didn’t seem to have been affected. […] After a few seconds of awkward silence, Gerard spoke. He asked me if the paramedics had brought any items in with them. Specifically, he was after a small book bound in red leather and a brass pendant he had been wearing. He didn’t say what design had been on the pendant but I guessed it had been an eye. I told him that neither of those things had been brought in with him, and he was quiet for a long time.”

With the descriptions of his wounds and how the Eyes had apparently protected him from the burning, and how there was specifically a clear delimitation after his neck, and how he had lost a pendant… it looks like he had a(n Eye?) pendant acting as a protection, which was pretty efficient? Given Gerry’s reaction, was it actually… from Eric’s…? (I doubt he would have been apparently stunned into silence like this if it had just been something from Mary?)

Plus, I’m not sure about a few things but they’re quite interesting to think about: Why had Gerry apparently been fighting against Diego? In MAG111, he mainly described his activities around Leitner books at the time, and we spotted him casually saving or giving hints to a few statement-givers here and there, helping them to survive, but this was the only time we heard of him him… actively fighting and killing a Spook. Had they been fighting over the “small book bound in red leather”? Given how Eugene mentioned Diego’s reading in MAG139, that Basira remembered they had retrieved a book on him in MAG043, and that Gerry was after one that matched its description in MAG012, he was tied to at least that one, so… I would say it was either a (proto)Leitner, either a Smirke book covering some thoughts about the rituals? Did Diego become a Spook thanks to it, à la Mike Crew and Jared Hopworth? (Though in their cases, they got rid of their own books once they acquired their powers…)

(Given Gertrude’s personal history with the Lightless Flame, I first thought, very excitedly, that Gerry had tried to neutralise someone who was threatening direct harm to Gertrude. Technically, unless small retcon, it can’t be the case: Mary Keay was stated to have died in September 2008 (MAG004), Gerry explained that she had “haunted” him for five years after that (MAG111) until Gertrude found him and got rid of Mary, and that Gerry had only begun working with her after that. There is a very small discrepancy here (that would mean that Gertrude made Mary disappear in 2013 and Gerry said he then proceeded to work with her “for a few years”… but he died in late 2014) but, technically, with the information we’ve got, Mary was still haunting Gerry at the time of his hospitalisation in 2011… and sadly, was probably indeed the person who came to fetch Gerry (MAG012, Lesere Saraki: “Gerard Keay was treated for a further four days in the hospital before being discharged into the care of his mother.”). When Jon had highlighted how he had the feeling that Gertrude drew a sick pleasure from pretending to be Gerry’s mom (MAG107), my first instinct was to scream “gERTRUDE…” about MAG012… but nop, doesn’t appear to work. Damnit.)

* Anyway, back to Diego: he was apparently the Scholar-like of the group (was the one calling their god “Asag”, was the one to tell the others that their ideal world was called “The Scoured Earth”), and he was definitely tied to that book in red leather, and Basira did mention that John Spencer hadn’t managed to burn it, and HUUUU, I remembered having thought, with “They caught Spencer in storage, trying to destroy it with a zippo lighter.” (MAG043) that there were lots of lighters involved (Gerry’s, Jon’s…) but… specifically there, given the Very Tense relationship between The Web and The Desolation, I wonder if this might have in fact been the same one with the web design that would later end up in Jon’s hands – the Web trying to use someone to get rid of a Desolation-related item, to put another dent into the Lightless Flame’s activities, a few years after Agnes’s death?

* It’s REALLY interesting that Diego was obsessed with calling their god “Asag”, given how Jon highlighted that it was more linked to “corruption” (MAG012: “Asag is the name of a demon in Sumerian mythology associated with disease and corruption, which doesn’t really seem to have much relevance to this statement except that it was also fabled that Asag was able to boil fish alive in their rivers.”)… and how Arthur Nolan was apparently punished, or cast away, stuck with the Hive:

(MAG032, Jane Prentiss) “I don’t know how long the nest has been there. It’s not even my house, I just live there. Some sweaty old man thinks he owns it, taking money for my presence as though it will save him. […] Now I know that whatever the old man thinks, as he passes about the house with brow crinkled and mouth puckered in disapproval, it is not his. It has a thousand truer owners who shift and live and sing within the very walls of the building. He does not even know about the wasps’ nest. I wonder how long he has not known. How many years it has been there. Have you ever heard of the filarial worm? Mosquitoes gift it with their kiss and it grows and grows. It stops water moving round the human body right, makes limbs and bellies swell and sag with fluid. Now, when I look at that fat, sweaty sack, I think about it, and the voice sings of showing him what a real parasite can do.”

(MAG055) JORDAN: […] a couple of years ago, I was called in to deal with a wasps’ nest. […] The landlord’s name was Arthur Nolan. He was a short man with a constant scowl, thinning white hair and a well-chewed cigar. It looked like his denim shirt once contained quite an athletic build, but it long since settled. […] After he hit me with a look of disappointment, he nodded and began to walk down the hall. I followed him, desperate for answers, but he ignored my questions about what the hell was going on and kept walking down the stairs towards his flat. At one point, he shook his head and mumbled something about hoping it wouldn’t get this far, but he didn’t seem to be saying it to me.”

(Jane Prentiss gave her statement on February 23rd 2014, and Jordan Kennedy mentioned that he had met Arthur shortly after, in February or March 2014.)

Was there a prior “architecture” of the Fears where the Desolation and Corruption might have been lumped in together, through the name “Asag”…? The Hive, at least, sounded very, uh, eager to show how Special it was (to Arthur, in the same way that it was hissing at Beholding in Jane’s statement). Was Arthur tied to The Hive, given how he immolated himself right after Jordan “killed” the nest…? (Jon mentioned that they found Arthur’s body after the fire, in MAG032’s post-statement.) Was he supposed to be punished by getting consummated by it, and tried to throw Jane to it as fodder instead…? Given how there was apparently that Diego-Arthur rivalry and how Arthur (unlike Eugene) knew what had happened to Agnes at Hill Top Road, I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up finding a statement left by Arthur somewhere, when he was “demoted”…?

- Alright, so we got official confirmation that Hill Top Road initially belonged to The Web:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “The compromise we came to… was Hill Top Road. We knew it was a stronghold of The Web, full of other children Agnes’s age […], though if we’d known exactly how powerful The Web was in that place, perhaps we would have reconsidered. […] it seems the fight scarred the place in a way far deeper than simple fire. A scar in reality, that I believe has since been compounded by the interferences of other powers.”

Sarah Baldwin had described the taxidermy shop as a “place of power” for The Stranger, Breekon had referred to the Institute as The Eye’s “pedestal”, Elias pointed out Ny-Ålesund as a “stronghold” of The Dark.

(MAG096) ARCHIVIST: There are, er… there, there are dozens of deliveries recorded here by Breekon and Hope. What were they delivering? What is the significance of this place? SARAH: Nothing, except what people give it. But they give it a lot, make it a place of power for us. Enough to keep certain items here.

(MAG128, Breekon) “That was the first time we saw what would become this place, The Eye’s Pedestal.”

(MAG135) ELIAS: I don’t know the details. Ny-Ålesund is a stronghold of The Dark, meaning I can’t see inside.

(Plus, potentially: somewhere in the sea and/or the graveyard Naomi encountered in MAG013 for The Lonely, given Carter Chilcott’s dreams in MAG057; Point Nemo for The End?; the remains of The Maria Fairchild encountered in MAG051 for The Vast?)

Interestingly, Eugene used “stronghold” and Elias referred to Ny-Ålesund for The Dark in the same way, so it seems to be the Right Word to describe the concept, no need to beat around the bush. Hill Top Road used to be Web, and, as we got a glimpse in MAG008, at least The Desolation (the glimpses of Agnes’s ghost, the burning) and most likely The Spiral (through Ivo Lensik, Father Edwin Burroughs, and/or Anya Villette) have been around that place – is it still powerful, but too chaotic to be definitely claimed…? Jon had said that he didn’t think it would be wise to go there (MAG114: “I’ve half a mind to just go down and have a look at it myself, but… I don’t know. Ever since it first came up I’ve felt like it would be… just a very bad idea.”), but. Was that genuine concern because he Learned From Poking Into Danger (which sounds ludicrous, it’s Jon we’re talking about), or the spiders nudging him to not go because ~obviously, he doesn’t want to go, he’s absolutely not being held by strings, what do you mean~.

- You fucked up a perfectly simple place, is what you did, Agnes. Look. You gave it reality bending.

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “I was… not one of those assigned to watch our chosen one, so I can’t say much about exactly what happened within the walls of that house, but it seems the fight scarred the place in a way far deeper than simple fire. A scar in reality, that I believe has since been compounded by the interferences of other powers.”

Since then, there had been at least, uuh… Desolation and Spiral which have been spotted there (MAG008) + some timeline problems, with Ray and Agnes’s ghosts appearing. Anya Villette (MAG114) seemed to say that The Web might possibly be re-emerging? And there is the problem of Anya Villette herself – was the reality-getting-messed-up-around-her an effect of The Spiral, did she come from a parallel dimension, did she ever exist at all, etc.

- There is something fundamentally hilarious about the fact that the cultists of the Lightless Flame tried to guess how to raise Agnes and failed utterly, because she was… a child. No, wait, it was sad and heartbreaking.

But the fact that they sent her to Hill Top Road because it “was a stronghold of The Web, full of other children Agnes’s age” when they were late teenagers, and she was ten-to-eleven? What a bunch of idiots, holy Mew. (I’m sad for Agnes but also covering my face snickering at these idiots trying to raise a Messiah and having no idea how to deal with a child. No wonder she was “prone to fits of violent rage”, you weren’t giving her the environment she needed……………)

- Iiiiii don’t know what to think about Jack Barnabas. On the one hand:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “That stupid coffeeshop twit. I honestly don’t know why Arthur allowed it, or why Jude didn’t step in – she’s usually so jealous! But Agnes… [SIGH] Maybe Agnes asked them to leave him alone…! Or maybe they were just surprised by her interest in this… boring, unremarkable fool. […] We have allowed Jude free rein on what happens to the coffeeshop boy, though Agnes asked her… not to interfere. She has not yet harmed him, but I cannot imagine what is going through her mind. The misery, and pain, he has brought upon himself. For all her anger, she is not rash, and I fear her quiet consideration far more than I worry about her temper. It may be he lives the remainder of his natural life – but she will make sure he is never happy, and never without pain.”

Eugene was sure that he would be getting hell. And it is indeed what Jack lived… for a while, right after the events (March 2007):

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “I lost almost everything after that. I never had much to begin with, and after I was let go at the café, I couldn’t afford to keep my home. They didn’t even try to pretend it wasn’t because my burned face would scare away customers. I’ve ended up living with my father again, who has been… understanding about the situation though… even he can’t bring himself to meet my eye most days.”

But Jon had also mentioned in his post-statement (January 2017) that his situation had gotten much better:

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: […] Martin has been able to make contact with Mr. Barnabas by email. He’s apparently been doing much better in the years since his statement, having received some reasonably successful plastic surgery.

;; I had assumed it was a genuine improvement, I really hope it is… and not, like, a small respite before Jude comes after him again to strip him of what he managed to get back.

- Eugene was probably That One Guy With The Candles spotted by Jack Barnabas the night of Agnes’s death:

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “They were all dressed in rough work clothes and wore severe expressions. One of them, a big guy with a shaved head, was holding an unlit lantern, and speaking to the others that I think was Spanish or Portuguese. Another held a bag that seemed to be full of candles, while a third had a clear plastic container filled with hundred of tiny spiders. None of them paid me any attention, and I was rapidly feeling like I was falling into something that I really didn’t want to.”

Diego Molina, Eugene Vanderstock and… probably Arthur Nolan with the spiders? Jon had identified Arthur in the group but without tangential proof (though MAG055 had associated him with burning and fire):

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: […] If the bald man with the lantern is as I suspect Diego Molina, it would indicate a link between his notable obsession with burning, and… Agnes, who apparently had not inconsiderable abilities in that area. I can’t help but wonder if Arthur Nolan, The Hive’s landlord, was one of the other members of that little group.

* Small fuuuunny thing: there had been a few mentions here and there that Agnes didn’t eat regular food, before Eugene confirmed that she needed another kind of sustenance:

(MAG059, Ronald Sinclair) “She never came to church, though; never sat around the dinner table when it was uncovered.”

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “She never actually put any milk in it. She never even drank it. […] What was her life, that every Tuesday at 3’ in the afternoon, she came into the same café, and didn’t drink a black coffee? […] We went to the park a couple more times; had a meal in an Italian restaurant where she didn’t eat anything; we even went to see a film.”

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “I took foreign workers, mostly. Those with the fewest immediate connections to complicate matters, and the most hopeful dreams of what their life might be. They were the ones that provided Agnes the most satisfying nourishment. […] Agnes would take them to her small, empty flat, lay them on the floor and light them. Over the many hours these candles burned, she would crane over them, so Arthur tells me, inhaling all the agony, suffering, and loss from which they were created. Or he could’ve been lying to me, just keeping me busy with torture and murder so I didn’t get in the way of anything. I don’t think I’d have minded that, actually. At least, I felt useful.”

- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WAS ABSOLUTELY ABSENT OF EUGENE’S STATEMENT REGARDING AGNES’S DEATH? SPIDERS. Probably-Arthur had been bringing some on the night of her death. There were SPIDERS in Jack’s flat (that Agnes’s presence burned):

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “It was as I was doing this, I noticed kind of an odd smell? Like when you turn on an electric heater for the first time in a while and you get a whiff of all the burning dust. I looked up, and noticed within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider’s web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke. It was weird, but I had more important things on my mind.”

And also, THE FUCKING TREE at Hill Top Road, which prompted Agnes’s death on November 23rd 2006. Eugene made it sound like Agnes had slowly come to the conclusion that she couldn’t carry out the ritual because of her “doubt” but… we know that her death was tied to the tree at Hill Top Road, the night Ivo Lensik was compelled to unroot it (and to free spiders):

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “[…] I heard Agnes gasp. I turned to see her gripping her chest as though in sudden pain, and she told me we had to go. I followed her as she… staggered out of the park and over to a phone booth where she made a panicked call. She said something about a tree falling, and that they… had to finish something. Then she hung up. She leaned on my arm as we walked back to her flat. […] Agnes turned to me and apologized, told me goodbye, and thank you. There was such a sense of finality to it that I felt like my heart stopped.”

Eugene knew that Hill Top Road had been a stronghold of The Web, but I’m not sure that he understood how much The Web might have possibly been still hanging around? It had struck me, in MAG067, how Jack… had suddenly decided to go talk to Agnes, and how he had described her:

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “But she was so beautiful, she… she was tall, with long straight auburn hair, and these eyes that… when they looked at you, it didn’t feel like she was seeing you so much as… was trapping you. […] I was… drawn to her in a way I can’t… even explain. […] That was the moment I decided to try and talk to Agnes. Seeing her interact with someone else, even in such a weird way, unblocked something in my mind. The following Tuesday, when she came in and ordered her coffee, I asked her name. She looked at me in surprise and, for a second, I felt like I’d made a terrible mistake, but then she… told me, very matter-of-factly. And then I asked her out on a date. I don’t know how it happened, it just… tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it. […] I worried I was boring her, but every time I looked over, she had that same expression on, which… by then I was pretty sure was a smile. I’d catch her eye and that feeling would flood though me – I… I still don’t know quite how to describe it, but whatever it was, it was powerful. […] I… I don’t know if I would have had it in me to resist. I just couldn’t avoid being drawn in, like a moth to the flame.”

Except for that last image, the way Agnes was attracting him… sounds super Webby to me? And as mentioned above, we know there were spiders in Jack’s flat. I don’t think that his crush was Web-induced, but his decision to go talk to her could perhaps have been due to a string…? (I’m really not sure but one my personal takes would be: The Web’s presence at Hill Top Road was diminished because of the tree, but it eroded over time and/or something made the seal weaken; the spiders used Jack’s crush and pushed him to confess, humouring Agnes and/or giving her a pretext to officialise that she wouldn’t do the ritual (making it sound like she couldn’t, rather than admitting that she didn’t want to); the spiders got Ivo Lensik to “kill” the tree, freeing The Web’s influence… and it was back as a contender for the ownership of the place. Possibly: it’s also what allowed Annabelle to be born as an avatar, a few years later, as Raymond Fielding had been dead for a long while and Neil Lagorio was growing old and incapacitated?)

- Regarding Agnes’s timeline, some bits are now a bit clearer, others still blurry:

* Agnes was sent to Hill Top Road to deal with The Web sometime around 1965, when Ronald Sinclair was turning 18 (he said he was born in the late 40s). Agnes was described as “younger than the other kids, maybe ten or eleven years old, and didn’t talk much”. She (playfully) freed Ronald from Raymond Fielding’s influence. (MAG059)

* The house got slowly depopulated until only Agnes and Raymond remained; Raymond disappeared when Agnes “must have been 18 or 19”, Agnes claiming that “he had gone away and that the house was hers” (Ivo Lensik, MAG008).

* In 1974, a five-year-old boy goes missing in the area. People are suspicious of Agnes, the house burns, Ray’s body is found, missing his right hand, and there is no sign of Agnes. (MAG008)

* Agnes apparently got stuck in the place (MAG139: “As far as we could tell, she had destroyed the place utterly. And yet, she remained bound to it, tied to it in some vital way. I knew, when Arthur told she had kept Raymond Fielding’s hand, that he was worried.”)

* In 1989, Jude met Agnes and the others. (MAG089)

* Gertrude did something tying Agnes to the place (MAG139, Eugene: “Jude simply flies into a rage when it’s brought up. I assume it’s why we were waiting, biding our time for decades, unable to bring our designs to any culmination. Jude had only just joined at the time”), Agnes kept Ray’s hand.

* Agnes began to frequent the Canyon Café in the 90s as, by November 2006, she had been visiting for “a decade and a half” (MAG067). She waited, they all waited.

* In autumn 2006, Jack Barnabas confessed to Agnes and they went on a few dates. (MAG067)

* On November 23rd 2006, Ivo Lensik uprooted the tree at Hill Top Road, freeing spiders from the apple buried under it; Agnes felt it, said that she had to finish something, gathered the members of the cult, and at her request, they hanged her, with Ray’s hand tied to her waist. (MAG008/MAG067/MAG139)

The Web binds and traps, so it might have been its way to get back at Agnes, before Gertrude did… something, fifteen years later? I would have assumed that Gertrude had struck around the time of Ray’s death, but no, Eugene said that it was around the time Jude had joined them, and Jude was absolutely crystal clear that she joined in 1989.

- … I’m still side-eying (ha) a loooot Agnes’s stance on the candles, given that Eugene never actually saw her inhaling them (it was more of a Jude thing, to like incense?), and that Arthur was the one to say she was using them. It sounds like there is room for her to… not have used them at all. And, actually, to not have been that much into serving the Desolation in the first place.

It’s impressive how much Agnes herself still remains a Mystery, despite the fact that we’ve now learned about her birth and how she was raised. Interestingly (and I really doubt it was a coincidence), all the titbits we got about her were people who were either infatuated with her (Jude, Jack), either barely knew her and were unable to decipher her (Ronald), either saw her as a symbol more than a person (Eugene). The only time we heard about what she might have thought or felt was through Jack, and very briefly:

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “She was talking about… some sort of job, and whether Agnes was going to be able to do it. At first, I thought it was a job interview, and… then she started talking about Agnes being released from something. Agnes just… said something softly, and shook her head. She looked sad, an expression I’d never seen on her face before. The other woman sighed, clearly unhappy with the answer, and stood up to leave. Before she went, she took out a brown paper envelope and handed it over; said that she’d give it to her now so she didn’t forget later. She called it “a collection”, and it looked like the envelope might have been full of money. Agnes put it in her jacket and returned to staring out the window, as her intimidating companion left with a frustrated expression.”

(And we still don’t know what was in that envelope! You could technically put small candles in an envelope but they would still be too big for a jacket…? (Were there spiders inside of it.) Was the other woman Jude, since it was “a collection” and Eugene mentioned she might come “to collect” after Gertrude…? Perhaps he wasn’t being metaphorical.)

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “We sat on a bench as the sun went down, watching the sky redden, and Agnes asked me a question. It was the first time she’d said anything more than a few words since we left my flat. [STATIC:] She asked me if I had a destiny. [/STATIC] I don’t need to tell you the question caught me off-guard. I don’t know if I’ve given the impression clearly enough yet, being a single guy in my early thirties still working the tiller to Sheffield Café, but I don’t really see myself as having much of a destiny. Hell, I’m not even sure I believe in destiny. I certainly don’t believe in God, and I feel that’s… kind of linked. So I told her this. She looked at me with the same sadness I had seen on her face before. “That must be nice,” she said, and went back to staring into the sunset.”

It sounds like Agnes might have been much more reluctant about The Lightless Flame’s ritual than Eugene wanted to believe…? Whether or not we get a statement left by Arthur, I’m pretty confident that we might have one left by Agnes herself – or possibly a recording of her talking with Gertrude. There have been lots of people talking about Agnes without us getting to hear Agnes’s voice and intentions directly, and I doubt that this has been a coincidence? Eugene explicitly said that Gertrude did something to Agnes – is it possible that they agreed on something together, with Agnes more or less trying to spare her extended family’s feelings while ensuring that she couldn’t get used by them…?

(It would sound super positive for the series, which tends to give characters darker sides too, but… Agnes’s story has sounded very tragic so far? Just like Gerry – being programmed to be Something by their own mother, getting involved with spooks and fundamentally twisted, unable to escape, until they would reach their bitter end?)

(- There is something very poetic in the idea that… we’ll see about it, but maybe Agnes, whose whole life was programmed, who had a “Destiny” inflicted to her, actually gained agency for the first time in the house of the Web, which is known for its mind-control?)

- … Okay, so the Fears/Dread Powers/Outer Gods definitely are able to touch people more easily through their dreams.

Jane mentioned her “crawling and many-legged” dreams (MAG032), Annabelle had reported “several unsettling dreams about spiders” (MAG069); there were Oliver’s dreams (MAG011, MAG121); Adelard mentioned his own nightmares (MAG113); Lucia was pursued by some (MAG130); it’s unclear how Garland Hillier got his “revelations” but it could have happened through his dreams (MAG134); Robert Smirke had seen the Fears, and ultimately Beholding, in his dreams (MAG138); and of course, there are Jon’s dreams, which… seem more active than most of the others (given that Daisy confirmed that she was seeing him back, and that the way Elias described them in MAG120, Jon was inflicting anguish on the victims and was identified as the cause of their suffering).

- Regarding how the Lightless Flame proceeded and how Manuela designed The Dark’s ritual… the overall guidelines seem to be to Believe In It Very Hard, And It Will Happen?

(MAG135, Manuela Dominguez) “Scientifically, it was nonsense of course. Dark energy and the like don’t work like that, not even remotely. But that wasn’t important. What mattered was that it felt like science, and that was all I needed. To do my work, to create the Black Star would need a parody, an aping mockery of science. But it would also need the deepest of darknesses. When I told Maxwell what I actually needed, he told me such a thing was impossible, but I insisted. And so he began his work on the Daedalus. […] My experiments continued largely uninterrupted, pushing the boundaries of light, darkness and fear. It was dangerous work and more than once, I got too close to the light and it almost destroyed me. But it didn’t. I could regale you with the technical terms or scientific disciplines I played with and rendered meaningless, but in the end all you actually need to know is that I succeeded. A tiny, terrible sun of the pitchest black, shining beautiful Darkness all around it.”

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “But a longing… is not the same thing as an instruction. We’d all been touched and warped by proximity to the holy Burning Fire, but none of us had any special knowledge, no matter what Diego claims he might have read. He wanted a Grand Inferno, a ritual of apocalyptic burning that would make the firebombing of Dresden look like a sparkler. Which sounded… amazing! […] And that’s when Arthur proposed his own plan: a Chosen One. We would create a messiah, the Flame Incarnate, one who could usher in this new world and lead us in what Diego called “The Scoured Earth”. […] Some objected, said that unless the child was conceived of the Flame, it could never be a true incarnation. But they had no idea of how such a conception could possibly even work, so it was decided that it would have to be enough to birth the child by fire. […] And in the centre of the pyre, a hollow, where Eileen was to lay. We prayed, and sacrificed, and anointed her body with holy oil and a crown of kindling. I protested the last one, felt we could do better than to ape the Christians, but I was shouted down.”

It looks like The Lightless Flame improvised… basically everything, by picking here and there symbols and ritualistic gestures that belonged to other cults – so the baffling thing is that it worked, and it’s probably because they thought/hoped/believed it would.

- Whiiiich directly raises the question of The Rite of the Watcher’s Crown, as Jon implicitly seemed to think – or, at least, he has been shown voicing some interrogations about why he was there.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Why were we chosen? Agnes was created – crafted with a specific purpose so finely tuned that even a grain of uncertainty threatened the entirety of her being. [CHORTLING] But I’m so full of doubt it feels like there’s no room for anything else, and… I’m sure Martin is the same…! Is there “destiny” here? B–bloodlines and… prophecies, or did we just… stumble into this? Maybe we’re the opposite of Agnes; maybe our doubts are exactly what we need. I–if that’s the case, I’m a… an amazing chosen one. … [LONG EXHALE] Don’t know how that would work, though.

And indeed: how is this ritual meant to work, if the Archivists tend to not be so keen to see the world warped…? Elias pointed out in MAG092 how fitting Jon is for the role and, indeed, his personality matches his powers, which seem to be… compensating for things he is lacking: compulsion means getting the truth out of people (while Jon is prone to paranoia), Knowing comes in handy given that he has so many questions, being able to get formatted statements help to satiate his curiosity… And precisely, because Jon is prone to doubt, he’ll push forward to know. But that doesn’t mean that he would be ready to doom the world and inflict fears on people, especially when Elias pushed him to stop another apocalypse (MAG102, “I should have thought preventing the horrific transformation of our world is not solely my concern!” YEAH, DEFINE WHAT IS AND ISN’T “HORRIFIC”, ELIAS). So what is it Elias saw in Jon that led him to think that Jon might be up for it, if his plans are indeed to carry out The Watcher’s Crown…?

I’m surprised that Jon would mention “bloodlines” in the list of potential reasons for them to be here, given how… it hasn’t been the case for any of the characters we’ve met so far, except Gerry – who, precisely, told Jon that blood didn’t matter (except if you’re a Lukas and use family structure as a tool to shape more believers)?

Overall, there is a non-systematic but still notable trend, amongst the Archival staff, to have encountered Spooks before joining the Institute in order to try and find out more about it:

(* Michael Shelley: lost a friend to The Spiral when he was young, which pushed him to join the Institute to understand what had happened, according to MAG101.)

* Jon had met The Web as a kid, probably never truly got away from it even though he did not die right away. Georgie highlighted how, personality-wise, he was perfect for the job:

(MAG093) GEORGIE: That does at least explain why he picked you. ARCHIVIST: Uh? GEORGIE: If your job is asking questions, I mean. You were always the one who pushed too far, and asked smart-arse, awkward questions. I always was surprised you never got punched.

* We heard Melanie’s recruitment live, though the reasons are still a bit unclear:

(MAG084) ELIAS: Do you want the job, Melanie? MELANIE: Oh… Um, I…Well, it’s, it’s rather sudden, but… er, I mean, sure. Yes. Yes, I do.

(MAG106) MELANIE: Threaten, then. I’ve got nothing. ELIAS: That’s… almost true. Your life is indeed shockingly absent of any meaningful connections. That’s actually one of the reasons I chose you for this job.

(Melanie had had various Spooky encounters at this point: she witnessed a fight between agents of the Stranger and of the… Flesh? Slaughter? (MAG028), got wounded on the shoulder by a Slaughter ghost (MAG076), and was already infected by a bullet from another Slaugher ghost (MAG117) when Elias recruited her. Static was even heard when he was talking to her, so he definitely did something, whether it was… seeing the bullet, or compelling her to think about the reasons for accepting? But why did he want her in the team – was it because she was leaning towards Beholding, in her quest for seeing things that could destroy her/being a witness overall/working with cameras and recording supernatural events? Was it because of the Slaughter wounds, set-up for Jon?)

* Same for Basira and Daisy: officially, Elias needed to neutralise Daisy and to be able to use her “competences” in dealing with Spooks, hence the trapping of Basira as blackmail material. Both had large amounts of Spooky encounters beforehand, as Section 31-signee officers (including the showdown with Rayner). Given recent development, it’s possible that Elias mostly just wanted Basira in the team, but her being good at investigating and “suit[ing] the academic life” (MAG102) might also just have been a happy coincidence – unlike the other Beholding folks, Basira has demonstrated that she’s able to call things quit when she is done with them, such as with her quitting the police.

* It’s unclear whether Jon had personally asked Sasha to be transferred to the Archives when he was appointed as Head Archivist (he liked Sasha a lot! She was getting a free pass on everything!). He did mention that “her working here seems the natural progression of her lifelong interest in the paranormal (MAG048), but it’s unclear whether that bit was Sasha-Sasha… or something rewritten by the Not!Them ;; (Since from what we knew it season 1, Sasha was pretty short on money and even hated Artefact Storage when she was working there but “couldn’t afford to quit”… so it might be that the real Sasha had just been desperate for a job, like Martin.)

* We know, however, quite a lot about Tim: he followed Danny and became an unwilling spectator to Grimaldi/Nikola’s skinning and dancing; he joined the Institute shortly afterwards in order to try and track down the Circus and get answers about what had happened to his brother (he even became a Smirke specialist in just two years!). We know that Jon specifically asked him to come with him to the Archives:

(MAG065) TIM: No. No, you listen for once. I was fine in research, happy. Then you asked me to be transferred here, and suddenly it’s all monsters and killers and secret passages, oh my!

(Plus, the whole thing with how he hadn’t managed to move but only watch in the Covent Garden theatre (MAG104) sounded verrryy much like Jon watching his bully disappear behind the door. Watching until the end, unable to do anything to stop events – but not closing their eyes either. Beholding-compatible.)

* AND MARTIN IS STILL OUR BIG MYSTERY, but of all things, we know that Elias was the one to interview him when he was applied with a fake CV, which UHOH.

(MAG056) MARTIN: I… … I lied on my CV. ARCHIVIST: … What? MARTIN: I don’t have a Master’s in parapsychology, I don’t even have a degree. […] So I… I just kinda started to lie on my applications, sending them out to just about anywhere. For some reason, my lie about parapsychology got me an interview with Elias and, and then a job here. M–most of my employment details are made up, I’m only 29!

(Unclear whether this happened when Martin was 17 or a little later, but he was at any rate already employed at the Institute in 2009, at age 22.) More specifically about working in the Archives, it doesn’t sound like Jon asked Martin to follow him there – firstly, Jon was super dismissive of him in season 1, and secondly, there was Martin’s awkward silence when he and Tim discussed that:

(MAG098) MARTIN: […] [Jon] said he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. Like, y’know, it’s his fault. TIM: Isn’t it? MARTIN: No! No, it isn’t! I mean, you heard Elias… We never really stood a chance. TIM: Yeah. Maybe. But Elias wasn’t actually the one who offered me the job down here. MARTIN: No, I– Sure. …

So either he volunteered, either he might have been sent down there by Elias… which just raises another “why”. It was a bit weird how Jon, in MAG139, immediately segued from Martin to the question of why they had been “chosen” to be there (why did thinking about Martin prompt that?), but on the other hand, it’s still an enigma why Elias hired Martin. Could be that everything was absolutely accidental, could be the Spiders at work, could be that Elias did have specific plans about Martin (because Elias didn’t especially like Martin…? He’s always very casually talking him down), who knows.

*SHAKES ELIAS AGAIN, SPIT WHAT YOU KNOW YOU INSUFFERABLE GRINNING EX-HEAD*

(Other option of why they were chosen: their isolation. Jon’s parents died when he was a kid, and his grandmother died around the time he began working at the Institute, in 2012; Tim’s only family member mentioned was his brother, who had died before he joined the Institute; Martin’s only family member mentioned around him was his mother, and given that he had to care for her when he was only 17, it is implied that he might not have had many family members around or close; Basira only mentioned her father, and in past tense; Melanie’s parents are both dead and Elias pointed out she didn’t have any real anchor anymore; Daisy’s “last connection to humanity” was stated to be Basira. Could be Elias being a vulture, or a bit of classism, targeting people in need/from poor upbringings, assuming that they would be more influenceable and easy to handle?)

- À propos of Martin, this episode also reminded of One Big Important Question:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “And that’s when Arthur proposed his own plan: a Chosen One. We would create a messiah, the Flame Incarnate […]. When we finally decided, it was Eileen Montague who came forward as a volunteer. She was five months pregnant at the time, and had already taken care of the father in the usual manner of our little congregation. […] We baptized her with the boiling water of Asag and named her… “Agnes”, as had been her mother’s final request.”

IS THERE A SINGLE GOOD MOTHER IN TMA. I’m snorting and weeping over the fact that:

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: […] [Jack Barnabas] was unable to provide much more information on the above but, upon Martin’s asking if Agnes had mentioned her childhood at all, he did recall her briefly alluding to being adopted.

L-O-L YES, SHE WAS ADOPTED… by so many different people. By the cult of the Lightless Flame after her birth, and then by Raymond Fielding (kind of) when they sent her off to fight the Spiders as a kid.

We don’t have Stellar Parenting overall, very true, but I can still think of a few fathers who sacrificed themselves to save a child – Jason North was implied to have immolated himself to save his son from his own curse in MAG037, and YEAH OKAY, ROBERT MONTAUK WAS A SERIAL KILLER but he was also good towards Julia in MAG009 (and we will probably hear a bit more about their family’s story, about Julia’s mother… but I had gotten the feeling that Robert probably did what he did in order to avenge his wife and/or to protect Julia from the same fate?). Plus, Gerry mentioned that he thinks that his father might have wanted to help raise, him before Mary decided to get rid of the problem. Not role models, sure, but not-failing-as-parents. Meanwhile, almost every time we see a mother or hear about her feelings (ie, excluding for example Andrea Nunis’s mother, who was an anchor to her, but who wasn’t a character in herself), it’s Bad News. As MAG139 demonstrated, Agnes’s mother imposed the Destiny on her daughter before she was even born. See also: Mary friggin’ Keay to Gerry, and not-his-mother-but-was-apparently-getting-a-kick-out-of-being-mistaken-for-it Gertrude. Do I need to mention Martin’s mother.

It’s a great subversion of the idea that mothers are inherently nurturing and kind but they’re also… the Rarest Species in this series, uh.

- Hey hey hey, alright, I deserve tomatoes to be thrown at me, but on the subject of Martin Lukas Keay von Closen Son Of Puppets Blackwood. So. Martin and spiders have a loving relationship, but this episode also reminded me that another of his loves is also…

(MAG117) MARTIN: This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that cool!

(MAG118) ELIAS: Tell me what you’re doing, and why. MARTIN: I just thought I’d, y’know, drop a couple of ideas in the old suggestion box! Turns out my suggestion is… fire! [LIGHTER ON]

… arson, so on the list of “what the heck is Martin Blackwood”, what about Unholy Grandchild of Web and Desolation or something through his dad.)

- Gertrude’s death was sneakily pushed back to the forefront again:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “And he’s probably right. Just as well you are not here. Smart move on your part. But they always are, aren’t they? Smart moves. Someday, you’re gonna push your luck too far, and when you do… Well, you just better hope it isn’t Jude who comes to collect. […] As for you… Whatever you did, and whatever protection it might have afforded you is severed, with Agnes’s death. Arthur has told us not to harm you yet, but this whole thing has really rather weakened his authority, and many of us are now looking towards Diego for leadership. But we shall see, I suppose. I hope, when it is time, we may burn you forever, Gertrude.

[…] ARCHIVIST: […] Nice to see Gertrude [EXHALE] also used to get a lot of threats. So far it doesn’t seem that any went… desperately well. Except for Elias, of course. But he didn’t threaten, did he? He just… did it.

And I still feel like we might be missing a few things about the circumstances surrounding it – if Gertrude was pursued by so many people and so cautious about it, how come Elias managed to get rid of her in the end…? Is it because he was kind of a blind spot (ha) and she had been underestimating him…? Is it because, so focused on Spooks, she didn’t consider mundane means…? But she was well-aware of the power of regular, non-paranormal weapons! She used so many explosives…

I wonder if the Reminder that Gertrude had a long list of would-be killers, that she had managed to avoid for so long until Elias got to her, is supposed to mean that we’ll hear more about the Elias-Gertrude relationship… Oliver had mentioned that she had many things going after her, in MAG121; Peter mentioned that he wouldn’t have been against offing her himself in MAG134; and now, again, we’re getting another mention in MAG139…

- Jon is still gathering information about past rituals and we can add another name for the Desolation: “The Scoured Earth”, which should have been carried out by Agnes… and was left on standby and/or cancelled entirely for this round. We’re only missing the name and description for The Lonely (though we know from MAG134 that Gertrude successfully derailed it already), The Corruption (was it whatever Jane tried against the Institute?), and everything about The Vast. Jon didn’t say how and where and why he found Eugene’s statement in particular: whether he was drawn to this one, or found it cobwebs-wrapped, or Knew he had to read it?

(And The Corruption still hasn’t had any statement in season 4! Oh worms.)

- Jon gave us updates on the Archival staff, and it is various shades of sob. Chronologically, by order of mentions:

* Basira still hasn’t spilled the beannnns ;_;

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: The others are doing… better, I think. Basira’s busy doing research for something secretive, unsurprisingly. But she seems to be adjusting to, uh… the new Daisy.

So, on the one hand: Basira is still Hiding Everything from Jon… but on the other hand, it sounds like it’s going better between her and Daisy? … but WELP, if their relationship is pacifying, it means that it’s becoming Something That Could Be Taken Away from us and from them / it’s giving Jonny an opportunity to hurt us a whole lot if one of them dies. Let me be happy about them, gdi?!

* I Have Reclamations To Make About Jon’s mentions of Daisy:

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: I actually like Daisy now, which is a… really weird feeling. [INHALE]

Like, on the one hand, I get that becoming kind of bff with Daisy is throwing you off, Jon, but don’t you dare lie to Us/The Tape Recorder: you liked Daisy and sharing your fantastic shitty sense of humour with her, I Have Receipts:

(MAG096) DAISY: Come on. Before the Met get here. ARCHIVIST: Whatever you say~ DAISY: And wipe that grin off your face.

Plus, you’ve been listening to THE ARCHERS in her company, probably to indulge her, and you went out for drinks with her; there are limits to pity, you’ve been way into Friendship territory for a while now, don’t try to bluff!! :w

Also, a bit saddened that he’s describing her as “the new Daisy” because… it doesn’t really seem accurate? According to Daisy, this was her all along/her true self, and we indeed could see glimpses of it in season 3, like how she gladly accepted the nickname “Daisy” (MAG082, Elias: “Everyone calls me Daisy. I like that because it sounds so gentle […] It makes me feel strong, to know that the soft nickname everyone calls me comes from a bloody wound.”) (But at the same time… ;; It’s very easy to picture Elias waltzing in at some point to highlight that ahah, but the rabid dog was the real you all along, too…)

* Melanie is “quiet”.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Melanie’s quiet, but I think therapy’s helping.

And given that the identity of her therapist is still undetermined, I’m filled with dread… The Web is known for making people come off as “quiet”……………

(MAG059, Ronald Sinclair) “The other kids living there were the same – at least, I think they were. I remember them being kind of dull, not that they were… boring, exactly, […] but there was something about them, as though… there were some things that they said and did without anything behind them. Occasionally there would be flashes of something. […] mostly they were quiet, almost placid. I’m sure they’d have said the same things about me, but at the time, nothing seemed amiss. I did what I did because it was what I was supposed to do, and it never struck me to question it. I’m not sure I really recognise who I became while living at that house.”

Please, be just fine and healing, Melanie…? ;;

* Helen is… *LOUD SOB*

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Haven’t seen Helen much. The door is… sometimes there, sometimes not. … I haven’t knocked. I’m never going to trust it. Trust… her. … Trust it. [DRY EXHALE] And I shouldn’t. Whatever its relationship to the person who was or is Helen… assuming that I can ever know its motivations is a mistake.

Damniiiiiiiiiiiiiit… Extra-aouch that Helen directly told Jon that she wasn’t super-fond of the “it” in MAG131 (and given how Melanie, who seems to be the closest to Helen?, used “she”), and that Jon is… very pointedly choosing to still using “It” anyway after some hesitation (reflex to call The Distortion “it”, then remembering his discussion with Helen and going for “she”, then reaffirming his distrust with “it”?).

I’m really not surprised that Jon is having trouble with her door (Jon has a History of doors that should stay closed, and specifically got bad experiences with Michael’s), I’m saddened that he is choosing to not trust Helen, although… I can imagine why. But is it through an intrinsically personal decision (The Distortion is supposed to lie and deceive; maybe it’s currently trustworthy only because of his lack of trust? Is it because he still feels guilty over what happened to the human Helen Richardson, who got snatched right before him? Is it because he still resents Michael?), or is it also because of the Beholding in him – pushing him to not trust what he can’t know…?

I wonder how Helen being around will end up causing harm (because surely, it will): will it be because Jon will finally decide to trust her because he has no choice left, and immediately be given reason to regret? Is it because Jon will adamantly refuse to trust her when she could be preventing another disaster…?

* And theeeeeeeeeeeeen…

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: And that just leaves Martin, which…

[SAD PAUSE OF ARCHIVIST DESPERATELY PINING] Jon, p l z. If you’re beginning to reach Martin Level of concern/pining/worrying, then Oh No.

(MAG117) MARTIN: I suppose you can get used to anything, but… [PAUSE] It feels different. I need them to be safe. I need him to be okay. … So–sorry, hum. I–I’m not afraid for me, though. Isn’t that weird…? […] I just… really hope everyone makes it back. … And I want to win on my own. Oh, and I hope the world doesn’t end. Obviously. [SIGH] Just… [SIGH] Just don't die, Jon. … O–or Tim, or Basira, or… Daisy, I guess. Just… just everyone please, make it back home…?

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] I’m just worried about Martin. … Christ… Every other Avatar gets to have their feelings… burned right out of them, but me? I’ve… just got to sit in mine. … I know he said he had everything under control. I need… to trust him; whatever he’s doing with Peter, he’s… he knows what he’s doing. Probably. I just– … [VERY FAST] I need him to be okay. I just do.

(I’m still not sure whether the “I need him to be okay” was a conscious reference to MAG117 from him, or just a coincidence to convey that these two tragic idiots are reaching the same point independently. We have clues that Jon had heard Tim’s testament from that episode, potentially Melanie’s as well since she gave her statement about the Ghost Bullet; but they weren’t dated from the same day, and not on the same tapes if the official description (“A-F”) is any indication, so…)

Anyway. Please, Jon, don’t wish for your feelings to disappear. There is something very delicious and entertaining about Jon complaining that he has FEELINGS, URK, IT SUCKS, but at the same time, This Is That Kind Of Series. Please, enjoy your sad pining and your concern and your worrying, Jon. (;wwwwwwwww; for Jon still trying to put some reason in his own mind; explaining what is the problem, and at the same time still holding to his decision to trust Martin…)

(- There was something very… “SO WHO IS HAVING A CRUSH, NOW, UH.” with that Martin mention, given that Eugene’s statement referred to Jack Barnabas and… back in MAG067, Jon hadn’t been fundamentally kind towards the latter’s story:

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: Statement of Jack Barnabas, regarding a short-lived courtship with Agnes Montague in the autumn of 2006. […] A rather different perspective on the woman known as Agnes Montague or… Agnes Fielding, depending on who you ask. Although hardly a reliable account, steeped as it is in messy obsessions and confusion.

HEY JON, WHAT’S GOOD, and who is the one pining, now.

(Although of course, more seriously: there is kind of an echo between Jack and Agnes, and Martin and Jon…? Someone Normal harbouring feelings for an avatar who was Chosen and burdened with a specific role in their little society and who had met The Web in their youth, and after a while, the avatar growing fondness in return – though the nature of their feelings is unclear. In Jon’s case, not sure whether his worries and concern for Martin are derailing anything Beholding-related or… just part of the Bigger Plan. Though Jack&Agnes, and Martin&Jon, could also all be… part of The Web’s plans overall. Too many spiders.))

(Following: bits typed down before MAG140 was released:)

- Big question is what happened at the end of the episode exactly?

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: … If I… Knew… what his plan was… If I knew what Peter was doing, if I just– [WHISPERING] … Can I…? [LOW RUMBLING SOUND, STATIC RISES] [CRIES OF PAIN] [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION STEADILY RISING] [NOISE OF SOMETHING-OR-JON FALLING] [SQUEAL OF DISTORTION DECREASES] [MUMBLING] End… E–end recording…! [CLICK.]

1°) See, Jon: assuming you’re on a first name basis with “Peter” is a bad idea, and karma went right back at you.

2°) Re: the noise of something falling. Was it Jon falling off his chair AGAIN, JON, YOU ALREADY DID THAT IN MAG128. Did Jon manage to get a concussion by trying to Know too hard. Does it count as his Lonely scar. Is Elias laughing hysterically in his cell because Jon is such an Embarrassment.

3°) Okay, so, unlike the other times Jon got to Know about something or purposely used that power… there was, on top of the usual static, Peter’s trademark “squeal of distortion” (I am using the way the official transcript introduced it, in MAG100, and it’s been the same sound surrounding Peter’s appearances since then). So, whatever happened was definitely Lonely-related, but: was it because Jon can’t pierce through the Lonely, in the same way he didn’t manage to peak through The Dark in MAG135? Was it Peter hiding himself a bit deeper in reaction to Jon’s attempt, feeling (or SEEING, if he was… right in the room with Jon) what Jon was trying to do? … Another possibility is that it was that Jon couldn’t access Martin because of MARTIN himself (ie: he’s a bit too much into the Lonely, or worse… is beginning to use Lonely powers), but I’m leaning towards Peter here. With The Dark and now The Lonely, that makes a lot of Power Walls that Jon isn’t yet able to bypass…

4°) Did Jon manage to Know something through the experience, or… not at all? I got the impression that he had just hit the wall of squealing sounds, bounced back, and… didn’t get anything at all.

5°) Obligatory “JON used Beholding powers! JON’s attack missed. JON hurt himself in his confusion. JON fainted!” joke here.

Speculation for MAG140 based on the title (20/05/19):

A PRETTY ONE, and uuuuh, smells of… alchemy? JOHN FLAMSTEED? So either about another way of interpreting the powers before Smirke, in general (Gerry had put them on the same level in MAG111), either, more specifically… about The Dark, and its previous ritual attempt (and then, could also be about Edmond Halley, since Basira had linked the two in MAG108)? Or could be about The Vast? Second meaning… could be about a ~sky~, so Basira explaining her current activities/researches…? Will she finally tell Jon about the fact that The Dark is potentially planning something in Svalbard…?

(17/06/19: AHAHAHA sob.)

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #tma liveblog #tma season 4 #the magnus archives #mag139 #long post/#tma spoilers/

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jq37 · 6 years

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well. that was it.

**spoilers for prompocalypse part 2**

Y'all this is it. The end-end. The last recap, at least for Fantasy High.

I honestly could have gotten this up yesterday but I wanted to give myself a hot sec before it was really over.

But, no way out but through. Let’s get to it.

We start back up right where we left off with no break in between. Cast still freaking, Brennan still gaping.

“What the Fuck.” –Brennan 2019

Anyway, Kristen once again appears in corn heaven and she’s very not chill about it. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. On the plus side, she runs into Doreen in heaven who is young and hot again (which I’m sure Fig would appreciate knowing) and also apologizes for her traumatizing speech to Adaine during her death.

Helio playing beer pong. I wonder if that was always a facet of his personality or if Brennan just decided to yes-and all of Ally’s suggestions of him being a frat bro.

The angels being like, “Please be nice to God. He’s our dad,” was kinda adorable.

“Why are you dressed like a weird stripper?”/“It’s too hot in here. He’s the sun!”

So while the gang has been living out Breakfast Club + Stranger Things, Aguefort has been Weekend and Bernie’s-ing Heaven apparently. I want to say wild, but tbh that’s pretty on brand for him. The wild part is that he was able to knock out GOD. Like, how even?

Aguefort tells Kristen that Sol is one god of many and she says, “Cool, I always thought that,” as if this is new information but, living in a D&D world, shouldn’t she definitively know that already? Like, the gods in fantasy worlds are pretty blatant about letting their presence be known and there are clerics/paladins who aren’t Heleoic but still have powers.

OK I have a bone to pick with Ms. Kristen Applebees. You get a chance to talk to the primordial source of all divine power and magic and you (1) ask who you’re allowed to bone and (2) create a TERRIBLE god. Just truly TRASH. She created a reaction gif god. It’s not even a physical representation of the concept. Like, I thought she meant something like Yass from Wreck it Ralph 2 but no. Just a literal Yes! Like, you can trash talk Helio when you come up with something better, girl. Also, wild that you can just…walk into a room and do that. Like you have to knock out Sol first but still. Wild.

“You’ve created a new deity and already you’re fed up with it. I would say that’s par for the course.”

I low key thought Kristen was going to get the option to deify herself. I think because I had just rewatched The Gamers: Dorkness Rising and that figures in to the plot. But, thinking about it, she wouldn’t have gone for that I don’t think.

Aguefort flipping out at Kristen saying that friendship is the greatest magic of all, and rightfully so. That’s BS.

Since when does Kristen have dog tags?

Anyway, as we all suspected, the chronomancy line from episode 1 wasn’t a random line of dialogue, it was a chekhov’s gun.

I mentioned this in an earlier post. Brennan didn’t seem too concerned that the party was wiping and I think this is why. I think he had two paths for this fight to take. In one, Riz successfully rolled for police and like 6 helpful NPCs plus his mom show up. That’s enough to beat the dragon without dying and Aguefort shows up having Die Hard-ed his way out of heaven. In the other, Kristen dies, goes to heaven, and basically that same series of events happens. Chronomancy saves the day. I think he was shocked because the roll dovetailed so perfectly with the story beat.

“Is Arthur Aguefort black? Hell yes. My brotha.” Gonna be honest, I basically had that same reaction when they showed his character portrait in ep 1.

Kristen and Arthur jump back into the battle and Arthur gets possessed by Mr. Gibbons. I guess he’s just been hanging around as a ghost this whole time? Because this seems to lend credence to the theory that that’s who possessed Fig in the arcade but didn’t we see him go to the afterlife (which, I have a question about that too later). But I feel like that must have been Brennan’s way of sidelining him for the fight so they didn’t have like a level 20 wizard making it too easy.

“Oh, and Jawbone!” Murph loses it.

Jawbone stuck in Goldenhoard’s mouth like that meme of the dog smiling, stuck in a fence.

Gorthalax is like, “I don’t feel great sleeping next to this dude.” Fig meanwhile is all, “I wanna sleep between his legs.” She says this at least twice.

So everyone just have a freaking picnic and takes a nap in the middle of this fight. Can’t say I saw that coming exactly.

Fabian tries to stab Dayne, who is already dead, during the time stop.

“What the fuck do they teach you at this school?”

“Are you talking about the time thing or–”/“Yeah Gorgug! The time thing!.”

“We’re gonna kill this motherfucker, sweetie.”

I love Sklonda so much.

Jawbone is a salad guy.

OK so I know people were shipping Sklonda and Gilear and it was like, “But how would that work with the height difference?” so Brennan, the absolute madman, decides to pair her with the GIANT DEMON???

Adaine about Gilear: Cucked again.

Everyone treating the DRAGON like a JUNGLE GYM.

“It’s basically Jeb Bush’s Campaign.” Ally, with the fury of 1000 suns: EXCUSE ME?

“I bless, [Riz], your mom, and [Fabian.] Are you the only ones with vendettas?”

“I think we’re all pretty blessed.” Gorgug/Zac is so good.

Adaine, who has all the wisdom and intelligence points of the entire party at the moment: You need to stay safe because the reason that we died is that you died.

The shot that shows everyone on the giant dragon and then the foreground fuzzes out and shows Adaine a safe distance away in the background is hilarious.

Ice guitar pick. Sweet.

Yeah, Siobhan really shoulda got healing potions out of her jacket, not the freaking wand. Hilarious. The only thing helpful about that was it hinted he was vulnerable to frost damage which they could have guessed.

I wonder what Brennan had in his notes about the freaking city in Adaine’s jacket. It’s wild they weren’t more curious about that.

I low key loved Emily buffing Murph the whole fight.

“Hell yes Sklonda!”

Ragh: Giving a gay pride speech./Adaine, who doesn’t want to get knocked out again: STAB HIM IN THE DICK DUDE.

And, speaking of, OWWW.

Fig shapeshifting to Dayne. The hell Emily!

And another eye gouging.

Fabian is incapable of doing a single thing without doing some ridiculous parkour stunt first.

Kristen,not twenty minutes after Riz said it would be crazy to go inside the dragon: Can I climb inside the dragon’s mouth? (Adaine: KRISTEN!)

Gorgug saving Skonda and Riz going, “Thanks for saving my mom!” from across the room.

Brennan is narrating the epic final battle and what cool thing everyone is doing and Kristen is just being digested.

Riz was my second choice for the coup de grace until it turned out that Kal ate his dad and then he was my first choice. Riz!!!!

What a badass moment for him. The image of him casting a shadow on the wall is super dope.

Everyone flipping off Kal as he dies.

Riz and Sklonda are making dragon casserole bay-bee!

MURPH FAILS WITH BARDIC INSPIRATION AND BLESS AT A 12 DC.

Aguefort. What a chaos monster.

“I fucked that bird! It is my paramour!”

Hold up, hold up, hold up. Did Kristen’s freaking Yes god kick Sol out of his own freaking heaven? WHAT?

I love that what Adaine got out of this experience was, “Wait, so my powers are bullshit?”

“Everything in this world is bullshit, Ms. Abernant.” Preach.

“So is the sun just a yes now?”/“Maybe.”

Literally 6 cop NPCs. Like they all seem like they’re morons but I’m sure it would have helped!

“Fuck it dude, it’s worth asking.”

“Are you my dad?”/“I was about to ask you the very same thing.”/“What?”

“TAKE HIS EYE. CUT OUT HIS EYE. YOU WANT ME TO BITE IT OUT FOR YOU?”

Brennan really likes the word bud.

Freak the fuck out all the time and just fuck things up.

They got their ice cream later! And Adaine says thank you to Basrar, even though he’s not even there.

Adaine as the 7 freed maidens (way to go Sandra-Lynn) are re-killing Goldenhoard: Us and them are the only good students.

Gorgug’s nat20! What a WILD time for the dice to give that to him.

“You gotta ask. I ask everyone if they’re my dad.”

Gorgug’s dad (Gorbag) has just as low an intelligence score as his son. It’s hilarious but also sweet.

THE VULTURE

I thought that Digby and WIlma just found Gorgug in the woods? Maybe I’m not remembering right. I would guess that was their version of the stork story but they straight up told him what docking was so…

“Do any other federal agents want to step to Arthur Aguefort on the grounds of his school?”

The Aguefort way!

I wonder what Sam has to say about her former BFF selling her out like that and also getting murdered.

It seems like Gorgug was put on the guest list for hell by accident (his relieved reaction was adorable) but I thought that was orc heaven?

Interesting Gorthalax still has pull in hell when he’s a high school coach now.

BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

How did he watch the fight? Do they have pay per view in hell?

“I doubt Cathilda will end up here.”

Bill is just such a maniac. I love him so much. I wanna say I can’t believe that killing the devil dril tweet was serious but I can. It’s Bill.

Bill and Fabian having a casual convo in HELL.

Oh my God, Fabian’s mom stabbed Bill’s eye out and he proposed on the spot. No wonder Fabian is so into Aelwen. It’s in his DNA.

What a dope ship.

I can’t believe Emily tricked me into thinking that her end speech wasn’t in service to some nonsense. She held it together for so long but I should have known bc it’s EMILY.

“Young lady, I have no idea who that is and I’m telling you right now yes. I will make whoever that person is vice principal.”

Adaine: Uhhhh….we should find Zayn.

Aww, Zayn’s parents were also terrible elves.

Unwanted Wingwoman Kristen Applebees

lol at Adaine casting Ray of Sickness on everyone suggesting she date ghost Zayne. Great callbacks to the early eps all around.

Don’t @ me, but Adaine w/ a ghost boyfriend who also had terrible elf parents might be kinda sick.

“Tomorrow, we’re gonna start training you on how to actually swordfight.” Uhhh, I kinda love Fabian’s mom now?

She literally hasn’t been sober in 15 years. Icon.

“I didn’t know you spoke Tornado.”

Siobhan’s late season tendency to just flip things/people off is hilarious.

Wild that Adaine’s parents just legit DITCHED her that hard and she was like, f ‘em. Clean break.

“She’s helping me spread something.”

Gorgug has so many friends now!!!!!

Lol, Fabian’s whole journey has just been about becoming captain of the Owlbears.

Riz got his PI License.

Lou and Fabian immediately being so mad at the idea of his mom (Hallariel?) getting with Gilear. Emily/Fig having an equal but opposite reaction.

“Mama, I will kill this man.”/“I’ll kill you first, it’s not up to you.”

Sandra-Lynn gets with Jawbone. Did Brennan just roll to pair up everyone?

Also, the group is almost all related or quasi-related now. Gorthalax got with Sklonda which makes Fig and Riz sorta siblings. Gilear got with Hallariel making Fig and Fabian sorta siblings. Jawbone sorta adopted Adaine and he got with Sandra-Lynn, again making Adaine kinda siblings with Fig. Plus Fig claimed Gorgug as a sibling a lot of eps ago and if Kristen sticks with Tracker then she’ll marry into this mess. Crazy!

Fabian totally dipping on the sequel hook because he’s gonna be busy trying to break Aelwen out of jail.

I’ve been keeping up with the fanart but there was some in here I hadn’t seen and it was super dope!

I’m so glad we had the after epilogue-epilogue. It was a very nice send-off.

Adaine using her oracle authority to get Zayn back into school! She’s so good.

Lol and she helped Basrar so he can grant other wishes. I love that this is the NPC that she decided she was going all in for.

Riz and Adaine join AV club! Idk why I love that detail.

Riz cutting off Adaine’s very good question about her jacket w/ his PI talk.

“They’re our rivals.”/“Into it.”

“Is ‘The Ball’ not your real name?” I love Fabian so much.

Zac doing Gorgug’s excited crack-y teenage voice when he’s just concentrating on that and not playing the game is so adorable. He’s just so sweet and enthusiastic and a good kid.

“Guess that tin flower worked, huh?” I cry.

I love that Gorgug’s happy ending is basically just that he has friends now. And that’s literally all he wanted starting out.

“FIG! GO TO BARD CLASS!”

Aww, Ragh and Gorgug are friends now.

I knew it! I at some point pitched the idea of Ragh ending up with one of the AV guys so he would be w/ someone who had enough intelligence to keep him from dying and I’m 90% sure it’s somewhere on my blog but I can’t be bothered to find it right now. But anyway, he’s in the lgbt club w/ Ragh and Kristen so it’s def a possibility!

“My bitch sister? Don’t you fucking dare.” (lol, if that happens then the group will be even more related)

Fabian considering recruiting the Cubbys for his rescue attempt of Aelwen.

“Gilear!” I love that Fig loves Gilear now but still calls him by his first name.

And that was Fantasy High!

I have at least two more posts in the hopper: And epilogue retrospective type deal and also the official JQ37 ranking of all the adults in Fantasy High.

Thanks for sticking with me this far you guys. I can’t draw to save my life and I don’t really do fic so this is the one little way I can contribute to this thing I love so much.

It’s been real and I’ll see you all soon for an epilogue because, no surprise, I have more things to say.

#fantasy high #asks #anon #Anonymous

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animebw · 6 years

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Binge-Watching: Blue Exorcist, Episodes 20-22

In which the absurd speed of the plot finally catches up to us and the show completely falls apart at the seams. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

100 MPH Car Crash

You know, it’s not like I wasn’t expecting this. I had been warned that the first season of Blue Exorcist completely falls apart in the back half. And the signs were clear from the last few episodes that the show’s quality of storytelling was taking a noticeable downturn. Yet part of me still hoped that it was just a passing phase. That the show would recover, brush off the dust and stride confidently forward with the same self-assured storytelling that endeared it to me in the first place. Unfortunately, it seems the doomsayers were right this time around; Blue Exorcist is completely collapsing in on itself, the component pieces of its make-up coming unglued as the story barrels ahead completely out of control, with nothing ahead but a dead end for the whole apparatus to eventually crash up against and erupt in a fireball of wasted potential.

Really, the problem is very simple when you get right down to it: there’s too much stuff happening in too short a span of time. It’s not like I can’t follow the logic behind the paths the story takes; Yukio turning to the dark side in a misguided attempt to “cure” Rin of his demon-ness is an arc I can definitely see that character taking, and the usurpation of the corrupt Vatican by an even more extremist power, bringing the organizational hypocrisy and lies to the forefront as our noble teenage heroes must rush in to save the day with the power of friendship, was probably the only honest way this story was going to end. I even think the idea of Rin and Yukio’s grandfather turning out to be the final villain, forcing them to confront the evil on their human sides and the worth in their demon sides, was a smart call. As a framework, pieces to be filed in later, that all tracks.

Unfortunately, it feels like the show never built off that framework to make a complete viewing experience. Scenes happen so fast and blend into each other at such ridiculous speeds that it’s impossible to find your emotional bearings. Mr. Noihaus’ return and subsequent redemption needed another whole episode to flesh out the connection between him and his wife, how it tied into the Vatican’s inhumane experiments, and giving Rin and Shiemi a chance to butt heads but come together in the last moment for the greater good. Mephisto is imprisoned by the Vatican so quickly I almost didn’t realize it was happening. There are so many pieces of information tossed out that it feels like we missed the set-up for; since when did Shiemi’s grandma have a secret garden? How is Yukio suddenly the Paladin when Arthur’s still alive and kicking? Why are we suddenly diving headfirst into a massive, worldwide demon purge with all the grace and gravitas of a checklist? Hold on, Rin and Yukio’s mom was actually killed by the Vatican as punishment for Blue Night or something like that? Should we have just a little more time to process that information?

But no, there isn’t enough time to process anything anymore. It’s all gears turning, all plot happening, no meat on the bones to make you care. It’s the same frustrating feeling at slowly watching Seraph of the End’s second season get lost of the butthole of its own shambling mess of a plot. And honestly, I can’t even work up the effort to be angry about it. I’m just sad. Blue Exorcist could’ve been something really special. Why did it have to go so wrong?

Odds and Ends

-Oh my god, Shiemi has freaking ent familiars now? I love her.

-CAT TO THE FACE!

-Mephisto casually eating tamoyaki in the dungeon is big mood.

-”It’s a picture show?” I’m so glad Mephisto remains untainted by the narrative chaos.

-Sadly, Shura isn’t as lucky. She’s just the voice of reason now, no spark of her old personality left. Feh.

-Okay, but why would the Vatican prisons not be equipped to stop people from escaping through means like transfiguration? They’re literally built to hold demons, why are these not basic countermeasures?

Just one session to finish out the season. Hopefully it won’t be quit as disappointing. See you then!

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #rin okumura #yukito tsukishiro #shiemi moriyama #rin x shiemi

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sxpiosexualx · 7 years

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GoT Preferences

I was tagged by @tiny-little-bird tq for the tag <3

Do you watch the episodes when they air?

Unfortunately they air at 9AM for me, so I catch them online once I have the time. I woke up to watch the finale last season live though just so I could live tweet my reaction along with everyone else!

How often do you rewatch it?

I was on my second rewatch but I sort of forgot where I stopped so I’m definitely going to have to rewatch it one last time before S8. But there are certain episodes I’ve rewatched like four times, namely the final two of Season 6 because I was between flights a lot that year and they had those two showing. I love love love those episodes.

Do you rewatch the previous episode before the next one airs?

Nope! Not unless I plan to really absorb what happened for meta purposes.

One character that everyone seems to like that you don’t care much for:

Tyrion Lannister, I’ve dated someone like him and it put a sour taste in my mouth. Since I watched before I read, I admired him as much as anybody but after meeting him in the books I’ve since been disillusioned. Daenerys too, for obvious reasons that I’m sure I’ve made clear.

Your 3 favorite pairings:

Jonsa

Gendrya - I know people think they’re just a cute shippy pair, I did too but there’s more substance there than people give credit for.

Robb x Sansa - this is crack but I am a sucker for pre-asoiaf works on this pairing. Sansa grew up believing in knights and gallant men of valour because she had Ned and Robb to look to and it k i l l s me. There’s not much platonic works out there on this pairing but I don’t mind either way. Anything to fuel my Robb x Sansa depression hours are great lol. We love crack.

also Ned x Cat because it’s practically the only healthy ship we’ve seen on screen.

Favorite scene:

A tie between the Jon x Sansa reunion glomp, Sansa riding in with the KoTV when all hope was lost, and the forehead kiss. BUT, I very much love the entire wildfire sequence during Cersei’s prosecution, the music and cinematography is amazing! Sam seeing the Citadel library with Maester playing in the background was stunning too. Basically, the final two episodes of season 6 were packed with well-shot scenes, no thanks to Miguel Sapochnik. (I really couldn’t choose just one huh)

One character you wish got more appreciation:

Sansa Stark. I don’t blame people, when she’s first introduced to us there’s this bias because we’re seeing her through Arya’s eyes and we all know how Arya views her. But throughout the series I’ve had enough of people complaining that she’s done nothing, and yet come season 6 and 7 once she’s really standing up for herself and making decisions she thinks are right - people call her bratty and “out for herself” like can you give her a break?

Also as much as I adore her on the show, and agree that had she been put through the Ramsay plot, it’s only natural she come to this progression: I very much wish people would have a read of her POV chapters. She’s not some “cold” power hungry bitch, she’s never been and never will be. Sansa’s a sweet young girl that got caught up in everything and yet despite it all, she’s still going. I admire her a lot and hope she survives and proves important to the endgame so all the disgusting victim blaming misogynistic haters can suck it once and for all.

Fanfic or nah?

I fuck with that. I’m still waiting on my AO3 account tho wyd AO3 lemme in I’m finna spread love to all the fanfic writers.

Favorite quote:

lol one quote? here are a few:

“Power resides where men believe it resides… It’s a trick, a shadow on the wall.” - Varys.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” - Jojen Reed.

”We look up at the same stars and see such different things.” - Jon Snow.

“Their dreams were full of songs and stories, the way hers had been before Joffrey cut her father’s head off. Sansa pitied them. Sansa envied them.” - Sansa Stark.

”When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.” - Tyrion Lannister.

“Words are like arrows, Arianne. Once loosed, you cannot call them back.” - Doran Martell.

Do you avoid spoilers?

Depends. If it’s brought to the Jonsa community for speculation then I consider giving it a look, otherwise I stay clear of YouTube suggestions because they’re always so... final? It’s like “Jon Snow’s death CONFIRMED,” or “BLACK WEDDING S8 CONFIRMED,” like shut up lol. Also the reddit script leaks... I don’t know? Sometimes they just seem completely like fanfiction, and not the good kind.

Favorite house words:

“Growing Strong.” - House Tyrell. It’s flowery, easy to be overlooked and underestimated and yet even roses have their thorns. Scheming, but with grace. Not allowing themselves to appear threatening so that they may make friends, and yet all together, the very words of “Growing Strong” alludes to a growing threat.

One character you’d bring back from the dead:

Robb Stark, definitely. He’s a powerful military man, he showed promise as a ruler and he’s not a total dolt. I remember reading somewhere that George had to kill him off because he wouldn’t have fit into the natural progression of the story, he’s made him too invincible. And look how many factors had to come to play to bring the Young Wolf down. He’d be a valuable asset, though that would mean sacrificing Jonsa. But I love him so <3

One character you’d kill, or kill sooner than they were killed:

Daenerys Targaryen, but even I understand she has a part to play in all of this as they all do so there’s really no point in this. It’d only disrupt the plot and I wouldn’t have it any other way(than what GRRM intended, not D&D).

Direwolves or dragons?

Direwolves, they’re loyal. Dragons can’t be tamed and are a threat.

Which was more satisfying: Ramsay dying or Joffrey dying?

Ramsay. They gave a satisfying wrap up by Sansa’s hands. Each punch Jon gave him felt so good too.

Wildlings or the dothraki?

Wildlings, but only because they follow no king and I can respect that. Their way of life, seeing each individual as a free man - I fuck with that.

Favorite Lannister?

Jaime, definitely. I quite like his chapters. He’s never been the quickest and I truly hate whenever that’s been used to snub him. I’ve heard it been said he can be considered as Jon’s foil, and I agree(actually I’d go as far as to compare him to Sansa’s romanticised ideas of the world, though Jon is the better fit in this case). They both started out naive, and Jaime never struck me as innately cruel. For instance, he thought he was being honoured by King Aerys with a white cloak only to later find out that it was to snub his father and rip him of his heir. He believed Cersei truly loved him, only to realise that’s not the case(Cersei’s infatuation with him is a tale of Narcisus falling in love with his own reflection, or rather what Cersei wishes she was). He saved the city, only for people to dub him “Kingslayer.” His tale thus far has been tragic, and out of all the three Lannister siblings, I think he’s most worthy of a redemption arc especially considering how Tyrion is headed to a darker path and Cersei is, well, Cersei. He’s quite the anti-hero.

To be completely honest I’m not sure I read his arc as a “redemption story” either, it’s more like finally getting a POV for us to better understand how he came to be so jaded.

And me, that boy I was... when did he die, I wonder? When I donned the white cloak? When I opened Aerys’s throat? That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Knight instead.

- Jaime, ASOS.

His chapters to me, serve to humanise him, and I’ve decided I like Jaime Lannister.

Favorite stark?

Sansa, obviously, but I admired Robb and will always weep at how we lost him too soon, a boy who showed so much promise. Also, Bran is my baby boy and I love him dearly.

Would you rather be able to be resurrected anytime, but gain scars and all like Beric, or become a faceless man?

If I had to choose, I suppose resurrection though I don’t think I’d be fond of it at all. I don’t fuck with the faceless men because I don’t fuck with this idea of living life in servitude. I suppose we all do, but I’d hate for it to be that direct.

Would you rather have the rebellion tv show or the conquest tv show?

You’re asking me to choose between seeing the younger versions of Ned’s generation on screen vs. more Targaryen propaganda? Robert’s rebellion, anytime.

I tag @nutellaninja0001 @lilbreck @starkkingss @vivilove-jonsa @occupyvenus @lostlittlesatellites @riahchan @asilentfrenzy @hbicstark @twilight-sparx @qinaliel @fedonciadale @ladywolfmd @myrish-lace-love @viking-hel @trinuviel @itwasmycroftbbc @jonsasnow @thatfictionalgal @eximperial @thewindsofwolves @thecrowandthelittlebird @visenyastargaryen

and anyone that wants a go, really! Tell me I’ve tagged you either way because I’d love reading just about anyone’s preferences haha x

#jonsa #gendrya #jaime lannister #anti-daenerys #if this pops up in a tag and u have a problem with it then mate idk what to tell u but u shouldve blocked the tags u hate

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writtenndust · 7 years

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What I love, about Roxton & Marguerite. And why I’ll never get over them.

So there’s a lot of reasons, and I likely won’t cover all of them, but there’s a magnetism to this OTP that completely cancels out the campy, low CGI quality of the late 90′s. I hate to use the term realism, but there really is a sense of realism in how they portray the relationship and I’m sure that comes down to Will and Rachel’s chemistry (having worked together multiple times before, I think allowed them the freedom to really embrace Roxton and Marguerite’s strengths and weaknesses as a couple) so here is the cliff notes:

The narrative as a whole:

In the grand, overarching story of ‘Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World’, Marguerite is revealed to be what’s referred to as ‘The Balance’ and Roxton is ‘Her Knight Protector’ and to really break that down, I’d have to give you a play-by-play of most of the series, but the general gist is - they get stranded on the plateau of the lost and it comes out the plateau is actually the centre of the universe, or some such and to maintain harmony in the world, good must be the prevailing force on the plateau. Come in, the line of Protectors (ie, Veronica and her mother). But the peace is threatened by the line of Mordren, who seek to tip the balance to evil. Somewhere along the way, Marguerite is born and she is a product of the union between one of the line of Protectors, and one of the line of Mordren, making her the balance between the two, capable of choosing which side and her choice, defines the fate of the Plateau and the world.

Roxton’s job, as her protector, is to be pre-destined to love and protect her for their entire lives and keep her from tipping toward evil. (FUCKING A+)

Their narrative, within the show:

Quite literally, from the first episode, Roxton and Marguerite are flirting like a pair of cats in heat. They’re in a canoe, rowing down the amazon river and all Marguerite does is take off her top shirt (she’s a woman in 1919, she’s got LAYERS) and Roxton is all *heart eyes*.

But he’s not a smitten, drooling lap dog because he’s a hunter and he’s a Lord and he’s no withering flower, neither of them are. So he’s like WOOT, CHALLENGE. and Marguerite steps the fuck up.

Roxton makes NO illusions as to his intentions from day dot, and even though Marguerite literally bit his face (lip; he kissed her in the first ep and she bit him) it sets them on their romantic path from the get. And I kinda love that. He brands her, he paints a target on her and he says in his head, likely with the guttural growl of a lion, that she’ll be his. But, best thing is, she fights him and shoves at him and beats him back with a stick on occasion, but that only tenderises the man. He just gets softer and softer towards her, the more the show moves on.

Their relationship, in the family unit:

What’s kind of lovely about the early stages of their genuine relationship (not just the flirty banter of S1, but the fully-fledged relationship that blossoms in S2) is that, while it’s starting, within the family unit in the Treehouse, in front of Challenger, Veronica and Malone (and later Finn), it’s virtually invisible. They have little tender moments, might make a snide little snip at each other, followed by a smirk, but the real stuff, the sweet stuff, is kept between them. They don’t let whatever is starting between them, get between their family.

And it also gives them something that is just theirs, where they’re five people living in a tree, virtually on top of each other.

I mean, pretty much by 1x22, they’re exclusive and the family pretty much knows it, but it’s still low-key, ‘cept for the pesky period they thought all the men died and Marguerite went around hugging Roxton’s hat until they found them.

A different aspect that’s kind of sweet, is in S3 when Finn joins the family, Roxton and Marguerite take on a sort of Mama and Papa role with Finn and I *heart* that.

Marguerite:

She’s the most complex character on the show. She was an orphan and never knew where she came from and she got herself into some pretty sticky situations. She was a jewel thief, a triple agent during the first world war and struck a deal with a Shanghai mob-lord to track down a talisman on the plateau and trade it for her birth certificate.

She can read and speak almost any language (it’s one of her powers, the languages of the plateau just appear for her), she can manipulate any one, uses seduction to get what she wants before she’d ever pick up a weapon (because she’s pretty shit with weapons, even though she’s a halfway decent shot) and she’s a scrappy fighter who’d rather kick and scratch than land a decent blow.

Roxton:

He’s a typical 1920′s adventurer, he’s an english Lord, inherited the title when he accidentally shot his older brother on an expedition while trying to shoot down the ape that was mauling said brother. So he’s got a lot of hang-ups about the people he loves and how desperate he is to step up to that position as a protector.

He’s also a good cook, roasts the coffee beans for Marguerite’s ‘necessary’ coffee and does all the manly things of the household, like greasing the guns, making shells and gunpowder and smoking their meat.

Their interactions:

What’s great about them, is the way they talk to each other. Roxton can sometimes be a bit chauvinistic because it’s 1919-1923 and it’d be kinda unrealistic if he wasn’t, but he tries and Marguerite doesn’t really let him get away with it. They fight, and sometimes not just pulled-punches tv fighting, but screaming matches, threatening to throw each other to the wolves. In one of their most iconic scenes, they have a knock-down, drag-out screaming match about hating each other and Roxton actually screams at her that they’re finished. But then it’s “I’d give my last breath for you, Marguerite, you know that.” and the heart just melts into a puddle.

I love that they’re not afraid to show the ugly stuff. They’re not all flowers and sunshine and Marguerite has so many secrets, it’s true a lesser man would run for the hills. And maybe the only reason they have survived is because they were stuck on the plateau, together, with no where else to go. They were forced to flesh out every corner of their emotions towards each other, and there’s just something really special about that.

They don’t have a forced-together, due to a lack of options, feel - because Veronica and Malone are in an incredibly similar situation and they worked out, their relationship didn’t need to be romantic to be meaningful. That was another thing that really worked for the show. They had two romantic couples - one this fire and ice, burn the skies, cosmic sort of love and the other, very down to earth, friendship love that learned it didn’t need to burn like Roxton and Marguerite do.

So while I never cared for Veronica and Malone as a ship, up against Marguerite and Roxton, I can respect what was done with it. And appreciate that it played out for the best.

And none of this diminished, at all, the powerful characters that Marguerite and Veronica are. They’re strong, powerful ladies with a destiny tied to each other, and the plateau. Roxton and Malone are important, for sure and they love them, most definitely, but Marguerite survived on her own, fighting off police and war-lords, gendarme and mercenaries her whole life, long before she met Roxton. And Veronica lived ten years on the plateau alone, until the Challenger Expedition arrived.

I need to stop, the post is getting too long, but there are endless reasons why this is the best ship ever.

The way Roxton always stands between Marguerite and danger, unless it’s a danger until he’s certain it’s what she can handle, then he passes her the knife and takes a step to the side with pride.

The way their history and destiny are tied together, from when they were children, to him being arrested to protect her identity during the war, to the plateau.

The way Marguerite’s eyes light up at even the mention of jewels or treasure, and Roxton just rolls his eyes and lets her have her moment.

The way they argue.

The way they flirt.

The countless times she chose the right path, and only John was there to see it.

Roxton: “I love you Marguerite, don’t say I can’t. Don’t pretend you can’t hear me.” Marguerite: “I’m not pretending.” Roxton: “Well then why can’t you say it?” Marguerite: “Even if it isn’t true?” Roxton: “Isn’t it? It’s all for you. You can’t keep running away. Your future, our future, is now.” - he starts to lean in to kiss her - Marguerite: “I love you.”

- 3x21 Trapped

#the lost world #marguerite krux #lord john roxton #I have so many thoughts and feelings about this show #and i just can't get over it #I will always be devastated that it never ended #and i'll always wonder what might have been

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notagarroter · 8 years

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The Eternal Problem: A Meditation on Mortality in Sherlock S4

When asked about S4 during the promotional lead-up, Moftiss repeatedly said this new series would be about one thing: consequences. Now that we stand on the other side of S4, what do we think they meant? It obviously wasn't legal consequences for shooting Magnussen, or physical consequences of overdosing on drugs.

In this meta, I argue that TAB and S4 are above all about the moral, metaphysical, and narrative consequences of Sherlock faking his death during the Reichenbach Fall—an act which continues to reverberate through the story two series later, both for the characters and, significantly, for the writers.

Reichenbach Revisited

First, a little review session: What exactly was the "final problem"?

Ah. Here we are at last—you and me, Sherlock, and our problem—the final problem. Stayin’ alive! It’s so boring, isn’t it? It’s just ... staying.

We got an answer, but it was hard to grasp without a larger context. How is staying alive a problem? It is only in the context of Series 4 that the full meaning and extent of Moriarty's final problem starts to become apparent.

Moriarty was sick of staying alive, and he wanted Sherlock to feel the same way. It wasn't enough for Moriarty merely to kill Sherlock (which he could have done at any point on that rooftop)—he needed Sherlock to welcome death, just as he did.

Moriarty tried to give Sherlock the perfect motivation and opportunity to kill himself. He went to great pains to threaten Sherlock's best friends, so Sherlock could honorably sacrifice himself for their safety. Moriarty even stepped first into the breach, hopeful that Sherlock would follow him. But Sherlock refused his offer, and wiggled his way out of this pre-ordained death. He survived the fall and persisted in staying alive.

Appointment in Samarra

When does the path we walk on lock around our feet? When does the road become a river with only one destination?

The sinister story of The Appointment in Samarra is introduced early in Series 4, and referenced repeatedly in the first episode. Some found this heavy-handed, but it was vital to underline the significance of this fable, because this is the heart of our story -- not just The Six Thatchers, not just Series 4, but the entirety of Sherlock since The Reichenbach Fall.

What happens when someone misses their appointment with Death? Does Death show up at some other moment to claim what it is owed? Or does it pass them by completely?

When Sherlock returns from his faked death, he seems to be at least considering the latter possibility.

You know my methods, John. I am known to be indestructible.

As time passes, Sherlock appears to be testing his hypothesis by actively courting death. Mary threatens to shoot him if he steps forward, and he does. He accepts Mycroft's promise of a "certain death" assignment in lieu of a prison sentence. He overdoses on the plane in TAB, enough to potentially kill him.

It is during this drug-fueled fantasy that Sherlock starts to wonder why Moriarty was drawn to kill himself, and he himself flirts briefly with the temptations of death.

Dead is the new sexy.

But in the end, Sherlock doesn't die.

Between you and me, John, I always survive a fall.

He can fall and fall and fall, and he will never land.

Arthur Conan Doyle and the Fandom Problem

The meta-story about Sherlock Holmes's death and rebirth is so often repeated that it has taken on the quality of myth: Doyle hated Sherlock Holmes, he was sick of writing him, so he decided to kill him off once and for all. He even titled his story The Final Problem, for good measure.

We all know what happened next: the fans, to put it mildly, objected. The stories of people dressing in mourning clothes over a fictional character's death may well be apocryphal, but they are nevertheless an important part of how we understand Sherlock Holmes. The fans wouldn't let him die, so Doyle was forced to bring him back from the dead.

Doyle never tried to kill Holmes again, and when he died, other writers took on the project, and in the past hundred years, Sherlock has never stopped being revived.

"There can be no grave for Sherlock Holmes," Vincent Starrett tells us in that famous quotation. It's meant to be reassuring, heart-warming even, but looked at a certain way, it takes on the aura of a threat.

The Final Problem

This, then, becomes The Final Problem, both for Sherlock and for Moftiss. How do you end Sherlock? How do you make him mortal again? Now we see how right Moriarty was: the problem is, in merely "staying alive", Sherlock Holmes becomes inert, stagnant, boring. We don't need him to die, but the audience needs to feel at least that he can die, or all the tension and drama go out of the narrative.

As S4 opens, Sherlock has now walked away from three certain-death situations, and he's a bit giddy.

I’m just glad to be alive!!!

But even as Sherlock is gleefully tweeting and solving crimes and petting dogs, living life to the fullest, there's a pall over the episode. He doesn't quite trust his good luck—surely Samarra can't be avoided forever. So when will it catch up to him?

At last, it seems like it's going to.

But Mary gets in the way, sacrificing herself to save Sherlock, and thus perhaps fulfilling her own missed appointment.

At this point, Sherlock starts to realize the downsides to his invulnerability: it only protects him, not those he loves. Nothing he did could protect Mary, because she was destined to die before him.

Premonition and Predestination

What we call premonition is just movement of the web. If you could attenuate to every strand of quivering data, the future would be entirely calculable, as inevitable as mathematics.

As TST highlights, Appointment in Samarra isn't just about death, it's also about destiny. According to the story, no matter how far you run, you're always exactly where you were meant to be.

Series 4 takes up the idea of predestination repeatedly. In TST, Sherlock appears to be having premonitions—a dalliance with the supernatural almost unheard of in the entire Sherlock Holmes mythos. Sherlock claims to Mary that, given enough information, he can even predict the roll of a dice. This thread is taken up again in The Lying Detective, in which Sherlock is suddenly able to predict (with plausibility-defying accuracy) exactly where everyone will be and what they will do at any given moment.

Really? I correctly anticipated the responses of people I know well to scenarios I devised? Can’t everyone do that?

This preoccupation with predestination serves the narrative, while simultaneously serving as a commentary on the narrative itself. Predestination is a handy metaphor for what it feels like to rewrite someone else's story. BBC Sherlock is fanfic, and in theory it can go wherever it wants, make any changes the writers desire. But even as they make the story their own, we know there are some things Moftiss won't change: the Big Plot Points from ACD they feel obligated to respect. So yes, in a very literal sense, it was predetermined over a hundred years ago that Mary had to die.

Nothing’s certain; nothing’s written.

But Mary is wrong—her death was indeed written before, and so it had to be written again. Nothing Sherlock did was going to change that. He doesn't need to attenuate to a zillion strands of data, he only needs to follow one to its inevitable conclusion: the narrative. The path that has locked around his feet. Watson in TAB says he always knows when he's in a story; Sherlock is starting to notice the signs as well.

If this is the case, nothing Sherlock does can seriously put his own life at risk. He's the hero, so the narrative will always protect him. But while at the beginning of S4, this idea seemed to thrill him, in TLD he has become much more ambivalent. He cautions "Faith" against suicide, but he also thinks admiringly about Mary sacrificing herself to save him. He goes on a life-threatening drug binge, but doesn't take the idea of his death seriously, despite Molly's chiding. He tells Smith that he doesn't want to die, but he does want Smith to kill him. It's not that he wants to die—he wants to be mortal.

“Taking your own life.” Interesting expression. Taking it from who? Oh, once it’s over, it’s not you who’ll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own.

This is an anti-suicide speech, but in this context it's also kind of a lament. Sherlock does not own his life. Nor do Moftiss. Nor even does Doyle. The fans do—he can only die at their behest, and they will never let that happen.

Meanwhile, Moftiss are expressing the same anxieties about the fate of the narrative. If Sherlock can't die, how do you build to a satisfying, meaningful ending? The show can't go on forever, but its narrative can't be killed, either. The twists get twistier, the cliff-hangers ever more dramatic, the stakes grow higher and higher, but how can any of it ever be resolved?

Samarra, Revisited

The Final Problem is their answer to this question. In interviews since the airing, Moftiss have claimed the key word for the episode was "transgression": TFP goes out of its way to break all the rules of Sherlock. There are no loving shots of London, no text messages floating on the screen. 221b gets blown up, and the rest of the episode takes place in a very blank, artificial, alien environment—more like a stage set than the lived-in world we've come to know. There's no case, no client. Even the Belstaff is missing for much of the episode.

As a result, many fans thought that with TFP, the show had finally gone off the rails—that somehow the writers forgot how to write an episode of Sherlock. But this shift in aesthetic and narrative mode was entirely by design. The writers were deliberately upending everything we know and love about Sherlock in an attempt to convince us that anything was possible, that anyone might die. Even Mycroft. Maybe even Sherlock.

And so, it is in this context that Sherlock makes one last attempt to find Samarra.

As is only appropriate, it is Moriarty who (from beyond the grave) once again suggests this option.

And here we are, at the end of the line. Holmes killing Holmes. This is where I get off.

Up until this point, it seems like Sherlock is planning to kill Mycroft, but here he changes course. It's probably not the locomotive double-entendres that spark his epiphany, so it must be the line "Holmes killing Holmes." Eurus tells us that Jim Moriarty thought Sherlock would make this choice, meaning kill Mycroft. But that doesn't really make sense. When he was alive, Jim never said anything about wanting Sherlock to kill his brother. What Moriarty always wanted was for Sherlock to kill himself.

Of course. That’s the point of this.

Suddenly Sherlock realizes that Moriarty's original plan for him is the only way out of his current situation.

And so he "remembers the Governor", who did the one thing Sherlock couldn't do: he killed himself to save someone he loves. Never mind that it doesn't work—that was his appointment in Samarra, and in doing it he atoned for his earlier misdeeds and became a good man. Sherlock missed his appointment, but thanks to Moriarty's hints, he realizes he has a chance to do it over, make it right this time. He must fulfill his destiny and sacrifice himself to save his friends.

Except he can't. It's what Moriarty wanted, his final gift to Sherlock, the solution to their "problem". But Eurus/the narrative/the fans won't let it happen, and Sherlock is saved once again.

The Eternal Problem

And so the Final Problem remains unsolved, as it always will. The episode wraps up with a kind of coda—not so much an ending as a promise/threat of endless repetition. Again and again, we see Sherlock walk the path to his sister's cell. The flat at 221b Baker Street, which was so dramatically exploded earlier in the episode, is recreated with finicky, almost neurotic precision.

And a montage accompanied by Mary's voice-over reassures us that all our favorite characters will continue on ad infinitum. The idea is comforting and horrifying all at once.

Fans have made much of Lestrade's full-circle assertion that Sherlock is now a "good man", and Moffat has confirmed that the point of the show was to humanize Sherlock.

But this isn't really accurate. From the very first episode, Sherlock was always a deeply human character—that is to say, he was flawed. He was complex. He did good things for bad reasons, and bad things for good reasons. He tried and failed. He was vulnerable and sensitive. He was vain and petty and occasionally cruel, but he was also at times unfathomably kind and empathetic. He inspired loathing in some, but great loyalty and devotion in those who knew him best. He was playful, funny, unpredictable. If he hadn't been all those things—if he had truly been a cold, emotionless machine—he would have been a horrible bore to watch.

The progress of Sherlock Holmes, then, is not from great man to good man, but from a man—a mortal man with weaknesses and flaws—to a mythic hero who is perfectly strong, perfectly wise, perfectly compassionate.

Who you really are, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about the legend, the stories, the adventures. When all else fails, there are two men sitting arguing in a scruffy flat, like they’ve always been there and they always will.

Sherlock Holmes will go on forever, in fanfic and pastiche, in other adaptations, and maybe even under Moftiss's pen. This is how the story is ended, how the "final" problem is solved. Not by killing Sherlock, but by at last submitting to his true, unalterable destiny: Sherlock is fated (or doomed?) to spend all eternity "in a romantic chamber of the heart: in a nostalgic country of the mind: where it is always 1895."

#meta #sherlock meta #sherlock #S4 #the final problem #original post #1000

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