#even for cis ppl gender is performance but I think they feel more comfortable in costume than out

[badolmen]

I had a much healthier relationship with femininity when I realized it was a behavior to be performed rather than an innate state of being.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[tiptapricot]

I was going to ask abt transfem marc too but they beat me to it lol

You said you had headcanons about the system and their relationship to gender? I'm listening,,,,,,,,,

YUSS!! I’ve talked ab stuff off and on in various other posts, like the ones I’ve done on clothing, Jake’s sense of self/home, and some of these, but I’d love to do a lil dedicated hc post just on my gender vibes for em :-)

Since I’ve just done the one on Marc I’ll do only Steven and Jake in this one, though Marc’s gender stuff can vary, again, based on the headcanons I work with (like sometimes he’s a cis man sometimes he’s a trans man sometimes he’s ?? sometimes he’s transfem, etc).

Some of this esp Jake’s stuff will get into heavy hc territory but I hope I can give my vibes for my thoughts in a cohesive way anyway. This will also ofc be an examination of their genders through the lense of western/American systems of gendering, as well as through English language understandings and descriptions of those experiences. There is so much that can also be filled out culturally and through the lens of different languages when it comes to concepts and connection to gender and the self. So while this is limited to a certain scope, I hope it can still spark some thoughts and ppl are welcome to add on their own ideas as well :-)

Let’s go!

Steven’s vibes to me are generally autigender man/cis+. He would use the label of man, he doesn’t necessarily feel outside of the binary or like he connects strongly with anything outside of being a man, but it’s different for him conceptually and in experience than it is for neurotypical cis men.

He doesn’t really think very strongly about the role he’s meant to play, the stereotypes he’s meant to fit. Gender isn’t really a concept on his mind as far as something to worry about or adhere to or live up to. He’s just… vibing. He’s soft spoken and friendly and snappy and awkward. His experience with others is more shaped by how they accept him for his behaviors than how they perceive him for his performance of masculinity. Because he doesn’t try very hard.

He likes loose clothing for sensory reasons, big sweaters, comfortable pants and shoes, things with patterns that make him happy and relate to his interests. And that includes skirts sometimes, maybe occasionally dresses if they’re long sleeved. He doesn’t think “I’m a bloke I can’t wear a skirt” he just does. He talks to people and connects with them, he’s earnest and kind, he cries and loves his fish. He doesn’t have this same weight that can come with trying to fit within the bounds of gendered expectations.

I feel in some ways if he had to try and conceptualize his own gender it would be strange, a role that’s not exactly been strongly felt or enforced (he wasn’t a part of a lot of the hypermasculine parts of their life, doesn’t have the same input Marc or even Jake do), but he also feels comfortable in being a man, in that being his label and the space he occupies.

He likes suits, he likes being called someone’s boyfriend or husband, he likes being called Mr. Grant, he likes the memories of receiving his tallit on his bar mitzvah, and still leads blessings over wine and challah on Shabbat, but none of it feels like an obligation. He also thinks makeup can be really fun and expressive, he likes wearing earrings or bracelets if they add a pop to his outfit, and he lights the candles on Shabbat without feeling out of place (until he encourages Marc to start doing it, to heal through that reclamation of the motherly role [idea courtesy of @fdelopera ]). He’s just comfortable where he is, not feeling the need to do too much and not feeling a need to change.

His brain experience plays into that conceptualization of gender and self, something that can’t be separated when describing it and in some ways can’t be described. Gender is experienced differently when you do not meet the same social expectations/understand the same social cues for it to be taught to you, when the rules themselves don’t make sense, when you have a blended experience of life.

So Steven is Steven, and that’s all he needs to know, and all he needs to be :-)

Jake is more complicated. Again I’ve talked about it before, I think perhaps even in its own post, but I forget the things I’ve ranted about on discord or in various ppls dms versus actual posts. Most of the text I’ll give here is from a wonderful conversation with spicyboelives over on Instagram, as that’s one of the best times I’ve been able to express my thoughts on this, but the ideas themselves have grown from multiple conversations with multiple people.

Essentially though, Jake’s having a ball.

Gender is one of his ways to reclaim and take hold of his sense of self, of his personhood, and as such it is multifaceted and strange. It has pieces to it, distinct ways of experience. To delve into his gender I have to delve first into my thoughts on his existence, and how he feels about that existence, because they’re deeply related and hard to talk about separately.

Jake Lockley protects. In my headcanon of his role and actions he’s a gatekeeper, a physical protector, and an extractor. He handles things Marc can’t, and his goal is to get them away from the threat or neutralize the threat so they’re safe, whether that be a direct attack, or self harming tendencies Marc may be enacting.

When he’s not out—for fast moments, for adrenaline filled snapshots of an outer world—he keeps them steady on the inside, makes sure whoever’s in the front seat is who needs to be and that no memories are trying to backseat drive them into a car crash. With such limited time out, and such a specific purpose, I think personhood as a concept would be complicated. He doesn’t get to experience things the same way Steven and Marc do, and he’s got a lot of responsibility and awareness from the start on what to do and how to do it.

He’s their transport, their traffic coordinator. He’s not fully a person, and he doesn’t get a chance to Be someone for a long time. So he builds it on his own, finds what he likes, the things he can take and repurpose into his own meaning and use, make them his so he has something to keep and someone to be. He defines his own edges, his own boundaries. Jakob wrestled with G-d and Jake takes that for himself. He is the lock and key for memories and he takes that. He forms himself into a man, into an experience, into a tool and a vehicle and a weapon. He is himself, and he is nothing. He is a man, and he is no one.

Jumping forward, for a moment, there was a joke in fandom early on about Jake using she/her pronouns. This came from that scene at the end of episode two where Khonshu threatens Marc with making Layla his next avatar, but he says “you may not like my next candidate, near and dear as she is to you.”

And as Khonshu ended up always wanting Jake, some people were like “omg she/her Jake real.” And then as me and other people are wont to do, we took that seriously. I’ve seen a lot of transbian Jake headcanons and similar stuff, and I realized I really liked some kind of gnc aspect for him. It tracks. Gender is a part of identity and self definition, and queerness is contradictory and strange and powerful. So then I headcanon Jake with the following:

—he/him for the man, the boy, the cabbie, the smile

—it/its for the tool, the entity, the weapon, the space he displaces, the cracks in between

—she/her like how you reference a car or a boat, taking power from things he loves and the weight of painted nails pushing a flat cap up, or lipstick under a mustache; gender nonconformity is confusing and not stuck to the binary idea of people and men, and he is not wholly a person, not wholly a man

He is Jake, and his boundaries can’t be defined by anyone else but himself because they are his to control and his to grip with moon-shielded knuckles, to pull back beneath the suit and tie into the practiced Someone he’s chosen to be.

In line with this, through a semi-recent conversation, I realized something else for him. Cars get people from place to place, they’re an escape, the rumbling engine and headlights showing the way, and for the system Jake is their transport. He gets them out, gets them away, pushes them off-road when they have to dodge an obstacle.

And I think there’s something there that really connects, that feels right. Humans anthropomorphize vehicles of all types, see them as a friend and a companion, and isn’t that what he is? I feel like Jake really connects with cars on an identity level, just with what feels right, with what he does, with how he experiences the world and the ways his brain connects with things and people and himself.

So like… in more modern terms, I feel like he might be partly cargender/otherkin for cars as well. He’s not a fully human headmate, and vehicles are something he aligns with, connects to, and loves on a self level. Maybe he’d even be a car in headspace sometimes, stuff like that can happen, and I think it’s an interesting layer to explore for him and his actions and who he is (and can even add an interpretation to the Shiva memory scene of the cab in the background being Jake, being him watching over Marc at the time, hovering in the periphery).

With all of it, with all of him, it is complicated. But she knows, she gets himself. Jake doesn’t need others to understand it, to know why it is the way she is. He just is.

Just Jake.

[lexa-ocean]

Hi!! Sorry to bother but... I'm having quite a difficult time with this for days agos and I thought you could help me with that! Hope I don't sound to foolish, stupid, or rude... :'/

You see, i identify myself as a genderfluid, it's cool! But, i lately have been feeling more masculine, i feel a bit uncomfortable being referred as a girl/lady. I don't really like it to where girly clothes when i feel non binary or like a boy or even as a girl...

So, my question is... Does that make you trans? Or is that what you feel being trans? Can i still be genderfluid, but also being a transmasc?

Thank you for ur time! :')

Hi!! Ok so first off:

Trans is usually seen as an umbrella term!! In general, is accepted that if you wish to identify as trans, then, you are!! Being genderfluid already makes you trans, so no worries in that regard

Re: your current predicatement, it would seem that it's simple that you don't want and don't feel comfortable presenting as femenine. That's ok and a normal expierence on afab (assigned female at birth) ppl, where since we've been forced to perform femenity all our lives, once we figure out we're not girls, we resent the idea of having to present femenine even if we could theorically be ok with it. Like for example, i know guys can wear dresses and still be guys 100%, but i personally don't want to, since i wore them for so much of my life. Ditto with stuff like shaving or having long hairs: none of those are exclusive to womanhood, but since they were forced on me for so long from a "a girl must be like this" view, i got tired of it and no longer want to. Of course, cis woman can get tired of performing feminity too, is not a trans only expierence!! But this is relating to you and your current problem

Another possibility is that, while you're genderfluid, you don't fluctuate to feminine genders. It can happen, but really it's something you'll have to think for yourself.

You can absolutely be genderfluid transmasc!! It all goes down to how you wanna refer to yourself and how you feel comfortable getting refered as. Remember: You Can Do What You Want Forever 💖

Happy transed gender!!!

[banghwa]

Loved your discussion on Like Crazy and queer loneliness. <33 I just wanted to say that as a queer person who has to mask+pass as straight/cis almost 24/7 because of safety reasons and has essentially no irl queer community b/c I live in a conservative area, I feel disconnected to my own queerness constantly and Like Crazy and FACE have quickly become a kind of safe space for me. Like…I don’t know how to articulate this but I feel so seen in Jimin and the MV almost made me cry??? I mean I’ve always felt “seen” because of him to some extent, but this album has taken it to another level. Idk but this album makes me feel like one day I’ll finally get to a place where I feel both safe and seen.

(And honestly? I’ve stopped myself from thinking about my gender identity because the thought of being anything other than cis feels so frightening to me because now who tf am I??? Figuring out I wasn’t straight was difficult enough to admit. But leave it to Jimin to give me a gender crisis I can no longer ignore. And a part of this realization feels so freeing despite the uncertainty.)

(Sorry for all of this lol but I really just wanted to share this with someone, even as an anon. Your blog means so much to me and I alway enjoy reading your thoughts.)

EXACTLY!!! its so unfortunate that this is something a lot of us can relate to :(( but im so happy to hear you find comfort in like crazy and face in general :')) it really is that though like. i doubt like crazy necessarily had that intention but the way it was displayed and performed just has this underlying grief that i think a lot of lgbt ppl can see themselves in. the overlapping of desire and loneliness, the eroticization of alienation, the longing and grieving for something you never had because putting yourself out there would be a risk beyond what most people can understand... even if it wasnt necessarily the intent of the EP i think its so lovely that despite everything we can see ourselves in it, and find connection through a struggle that speaks the same "language" ours does.... :')

as for the gender stuff, oh my really it was the same for me :')) figuring it out was so scary. i had the same thoughts around "what does this mean about who i am? do i even know who i am?" figuring out gender stuff is a long journey, honestly a lot more challenging than understanding my sexuality. n i feel like even now nearly 6 yrs since first coming out to my friends im still figuring stuff out. and thats fine ! it may feel scary right now, and for a long time even. but it is also such a freeing journey that i wouldnt trade it for anything. i hope your journey brings you much joy and love and community, regardless of where it leads you <333 rooting for you my love <3333

[barbiefaeg]

I’m trying to wrap my head around how I feel so here are some words.

Today I didn’t “feel male.” I decided I felt a little more agender. I can’t figure it why? I felt less… I though less about wanting to be male & wanting to “look male.” And I can’t figure out if that’s just… acceptance or hopelessness. I don’t feel good about it. I don’t like that I was apathetic toward gender today. There’s a twinge of euphoria that comes with that chase, that desire to “look male.” I think I feel hopeful and I like I can imagine myself achieving that some day. I think today I felt like— regardless of how much I wanted to look/be male there wasn’t really a point to hoping because it just doesn’t feel achievable. When I feel shitty, actively and blatantly dysphoric, there comes with that a sense of peace. A sense that there’s a solution. This is just… apathy. Hopelessness. Reassuring myself isn’t working because all I can think is, if I’ve accepted I can “be a woman”/“perform woman” today, then is transitioning really the solution for me? Am I going to feel apathetic about “performing man” too? And any thoughts of joy about transitioning are clouded by: how will other ppl think of me? What will they think of what I’ve decided to do? Will I be promoted to “prove” my gender to them (a gender which I apparently don’t even always “feel”)? Transitioning is so far off, why even think about it? Transitioning won’t ever make me a cis man, why should I even do it in the first place? …etc. I wish I had faith in my gender today. I wish I felt comfortable.

[violentviolette]

hey!! i see your post about overcoming ideas about genitalia. i’ve honestly gone through a long journey to overcome any preconceived ideas about penises. and honestly i fully understand and accept that there’s nothing about penises that makes them manly or male-associated. i think they can be beautiful in their own right! i don’t have any negative feelings. however, i still just don’t have any interest in performing sexual acts with them, and idk how to get over that? im not disgusted. i guess it just doesn’t do much for me like pussies do, even tho i KNOW it doesn’t impact how i view someone as a woman. any advice on how to go from here? i don’t wanna like. experiment with a trans woman and put her in a situation that makes her uncomfortable and objectified just so i can over come this indifference, idk what else to do tbh. like i know trans women are women no matter if they have a pussy or a penis. i know that in my heart regardless of if people believe me or not, i know what’s in my heart more than anyone. but still. i can’t seem to figure out how to change what i want sexually. so i guess i’m just looking for advice here!

so like I think this is a great example of people (unintentionally) fundamentally misunderstanding the point of why ur unpacking ur transmisogyny in the first place

the point is not to make everyone personally go out and have sex they dont want to be having. the point is to get people to see and treat trans women as both women and people. with humanity and dignity and respect and with all the civil rights and liberties we afford to cis ppl. if ur doing that, then thats it. thats literally all u have to do

none of that has anything to do with ur personal sexual taste and interests and what arouses u. none of this conversation is about what arouses u personally

the answer to ur question is do nothing. change absolutely nothing about the people ur fucking. u dont have to have sex with someone with a penis. like genuinely. who u personally are choosing to fuck has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation.

its not about changing ur personal sexual behavior or tastes. its about understanding where societal bias and bigotry has enterered into our assumptions about others and how that affects both how we treat them in real life and how we protect or oppress them on a societal scale

I'm personally not attracted to red heads. this doesnt mean that red headed women aren't women just because I, a man who fucks women, doesnt want to personally fuck those specific women

its the same as when we say that cis ppl questioning their gender doesn't mean "become trans or ur not woke" it means "understand urself and ur choices better and where societal pressure might be influencing u"

cis people can question their gender and stay cis. striaght people can question their sexuality but ultimately stay straight. some lesbians can decide they still aren't comfortable personally having sex with a penis even of others are and thats fine. theyre all still lesbians. u don't ever have to have sex that u aren't comfortable with or force urself to be comfortable with things u aren't

none of that has anything to do with what trans people are actually advocating for when we advocate for our human rights. none of this is about u and ur sex life.

decenter urself and ur sex life from ur politics because it has no reason to be here

[thedeadflag]

I’m so confused! I know it’s not your responsibility to educate me but in your post bringing awareness to the negative aspects of g!p fanfic you say

“Why do these g!p characters rarely if ever involve experiences reflective of trans/intersex women? Why are they so utterly cis and perisex-washed? Why do nearly all writers have zero idea that tucking is a thing? “

Doesn’t that answer your original question? The reason they don’t reflect those groups of ppl is bc g!p isn’t trying to represent those groups of people or else it WOULD be transphobic to limit them to one specific fetish right? it just refers to a canonically female character with the addition of a penis (I don’t argue the name “g!p” should be changed bc that’s a no brainer why that could be offensive). But the fanfic in general, how could it be harmful? I’ve noticed in my time reading it as a non binary person it’s given me great gender euphoria reading a reader insert where reader has a penis while being a femme representing person just bc that’s a reflection of my personal experience. I don’t see anywhere where g!p fanfic ever references or tries to emulate the experiences of trans or intersex people so how could it be offensive?

Sorry this is way too long I’m just very confused

I'm going to try and lay this out as politely as I can. It's after 3:30 in the morning here, so this could be a bit disjointed and rambling. More under the cut:

In real life, ~99.999999% of women with penises are trans women. Which puts us in a tricky situation of (A) being the only women with penises around for media involving women with penises to reflect back on, and (B) being in the lovely position of precious few people actually having had meaningful real life exposure to trans women, meaning (C.) all those stigmas and all that misinformation are going to purely affect us and it’s going to be uncritically gobbled up by the masses, since they don’t have any meaningful information to fill in the blanks with instead.

When we peer into the depths of femslash fandoms and see all these folks who aren't trans women writing about women with penises, and using cis women’s bodies as platforms for these penises, it’s the simplest thing.

I mean, some of those folks might actually be struggling and confused about why they’re into it, what the real appeal is, why they get off on it, why they might have some feelings about wanting a penis of their own…

…but from our vantage point, it’s really easy to gauge 99.99% of the time. We can generally see valid, legitimate yearning to have a penis pretty damn easily in a piece of art/writing, and we can also see when people who create this media are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization.

And 99.9% of the time, the creators are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization, and see trans women’s bodies as a perfect vehicle to tap into that, generally due to deeply held cissexist views that link us and our bodies and genitals directly to cis men, to maleness. As if penises are rooted in maleness and masculinity (which is absolutely not true).

And I have sympathy for NB folks (certainly TME ones who have reached out to me in the past about this) who might be struggling with that, but just because they’re non-binary, it doesn’t mean they get to appropriate our bodies and reproduce transmisogyny and trans fetishization in their attempts at feeling better. Shit doesn't work like that.

Because again, the only women with penises in this world, essentially, are trans women. Meaning any woman with a penis in media is a trans woman, implicitly or explicitly. Meaning that when people who aren’t us want to write us, intent doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if it’s just the writer’s fantasy, it’s still going to attach a variety of messages directly onto us.

And more often than not, due to cissexism, those messages are linking us to maleness, to toxic masculinity, etc..

While I do want to believe they're a fairly small minority, a lot of NB folks in fandom spaces like g!p characters in part because they see penises as male and the rest of the body as female and think that duality is interesting and would be comfortable, and is a nice balance of “both worlds” or a nice position “between male and female”, but that’s a wholly cissexist, transmisogynistic view to have, and it’s one that absolutely cannot be supported without directing sexual violence against trans women and invalidating our entire existence. Certainly not all NB folks into g!p like it for that reason, but holy shit a fair bit of them do and it’s weird and wrong and fetishistic.

g!p emerged from the idea that women can't have penises, and drew on the transmisogyny and cissexism of tr*nny porn to structure that frame of desire and the core patterns and trends within these works. It's always been trans women's bodies being used as a vehicle, whether or not the writers of these fics are explicitly aware of it, because the trope itself still holds true to its original patterns and cissexism. It's not the name that's the problem, it's the content; changing the name would be a surface level change that wouldn't affect anything.

g!p objectifies women with penises (trans women). A woman with a penis is more than just a woman with a penis, but the use of the term and trope is literally to (A) remind people that women don't have penises, otherwise the g!p term wouldn't be needed if people actually accepted women with penises as women, and that (B) this is a story centered on a scenario where there's a woman with a penis, with key focus on that genitalia specifically. it's the drawing point, it's the lure, it's what everything is centered on. It is a means for folks to write lesbian sex while also writing about penis in vagina and getting off to it. It's also no surprise that the penises so clearly emulate cis men's penises in these works, that is by design.

As I’ve said many times before, if you’re only writing trans women’s bodies to showcase cis men’s penises, you’re not respecting the womanhood of trans women, and this ultimately has nothing inherent to do with penis-owning women, it has to do with (cis) men and their penises, because trans women are just being used as a vehicle to emulate them. When NB folks do the same thing, and imagining themselves as those g!p characters, they are ultimately embodying cis men, their maleness, and often toxic masculinity, in a way that feels safe and distanced enough for them, a shell that they often code as cisnormative due to their own unprocessed cissexism.

And trans women don’t deserve that.

You seem caught in the idea that if something doesn't directly perfectly reflect trans women, that it can't be linked to us., which ignores the long long history of media being used to misrepresent marginalized peoples and cast us in insulting, dehumanizing lights. You show a lack of understanding of the g!p trope and the long history of its usage across a few other names, even if the content and patterns remained the same. It shows a lack of understanding of tr*nny porn and transmisogynistic stigmas, which the trope draws heavily from.

I think we can all recognize that most 'lesbian' prn that's made does not represent actual lesbians, it's overwhelmingly catered to the male gaze. We can also recognize that this category of porn has led to a lot of harassment towards lesbians from cis men who at the very least want to believe lesbians are just like they are in the porn he watches, that lesbians just need the right man. Lesbians are being used as a vehicle for a fantasy that was created externally to them, and doesn't represent their realities.

It's the same kind of situation here. The way g!p fics play out overwhelmingly doesn't reflect trans women's realities, but they are inherently linked to us regardless, as we're the vehicles for those fantasies, as unrealistic and harmful as they may be.

g!p characters are built in our fetishized image that’s based on a deeply cissexist misunderstanding of us, of the gender binary, and of bodies in general.

I mean, when 99% of cis folks don’t understand how trans women tend to be sexually intimate… when they don’t understand what dysphoria is and how it works and how it can affect us physically and emotionally…when they don’t understand almost any of our lived experiences…then they’re not going to be able to accurately portray us even if they wanted to.

And I’ve read enough g!p fics where authors wrote those as a means of trying to add trans rep, but because they didn’t understand us at all, it wasn’t remotely representative, and it was ultimately fetishistic, even if there was an undercurrent of sympathy and a lack of following certain common g!p patterns there that differentiated it from the norm.

If g!p fics were at all about reducing dysphoria or finding euphoria, then it wouldn’t be explicitly tied up in the performance of very specific sex acts, very specific forms of misogyny and toxic masculinity, very specific forms of sexual violence and exertion of sexual power, etc.

But it is.

So the notion that creating g!p fics helps NB folks? Nope. It CAN certainly prevent/delay those folks from facing a whole boatload of shit they’ve internalized, and coddle them at the expense of trans women.

Because if it was really about bodies and dysphoria/euphoria, there would be a considerable push (allying with out own) to end our fetishization and to represent us in and out of sexual contexts with accuracy, respect, and care. Because they wouldn’t care what sex acts were performed and what smut beats were hit, they’d just want to see someone with a body like their ideal being loved, being sexual, connecting, being authentic, etc. Which very much is not the case in the overwhelming majority of g!p fics. That's what we want, and it's not what g!p writers want, it's nothing they give a shit about.

Like, a ways back I started doing random pulls of g!p fics from various fandoms and assessing them for certain elements to provide some quantitative clarity. I started on The 100 here, and did OuaT here. Never finished the 100 one since the results leveled out and stayed pretty consistent as the sample size grew, so I didn't really see the point in continuing any further after about 140 fics when the data wasn't really changing much at all.

Lastly, media influences people. I've read countless posts and comments from people who use fanfiction as a sex ed guide, in essence. Which is ridiculous, but I also know sex ed curricula often isn't very accurate or extensive in a lot of areas, so people take what they can get. Representation in media can be powerful, and when it overwhelmingly misrepresents people, that's also powerful. Just because fandom is a bit smaller than televised media, it doesn't make that impact any lesser, certainly not for those whose primary media intake is within fandom.

Virtually all trans representation in f/f fanfiction is misrepresentative of us. That has a cost in how people understand us, how people react to us, and how people treat us. Not just online, but in physical spaces, and in intimate settings.

I invite you to read that post you referenced again, or perhaps this longer one which is a response to a trans guy who seemed to feel something similar to you with this trope.

All I can do is lay it out there and try to explain this. It's up to you how you handle this. All I know is whenever there's a big surge in g!p in a fandom, trans women generally leave it en masse, because it's a very clear and consistent message that we're not valued, respected, and that people value getting off on us over finding community with us.

[kienansidhe]

one of my friends shared a post that was just. screenshots of vitriolic hatred towards trans men and transmasc ppl from women, claiming that transmasc ppl are the same as cis men, are oppressors, benefit from patriarchy, that cis privilege doesnt exist, that trans women are valid but trans men and nonbinary people who dont identify as women are not, etc. etc. etc. and it was so painful to read i was physically nauseous for over an hour.

ive been thinking tho, looking back at what i can remember of my childhood, and i think if id been allowed a girlhood, if i had enjoyed access to a cis girlhood with other cis girls, i would have been much more reluctant to let go of girlhood/womanhood. if i had ever been included in groups of girls, had experiences as a girl that werent just me, alone, an object with no other girls to comfort and be comforted by, i would have a community of girls i would want to keep. i wouldnt feel the need to look elsewhere.

id still have a complicated relationship with gender, but if i had a girlhood to hold onto i think i would like to keep it. the fact is, however, that while i have always been gendered as a girl by social hierarchy, by the role i was forced towards, by the society at large, i have never been welcomed by girls. its an unfortunate consequence of the cult i grew up in, my disorders, and the severe isolation i was raised in. the only girls i grew up around were extremely, well, christian. they shunned anyone who didnt put god first. they were christians before they were girls, really, and would tell you as much themselves. in the brief years i spent at public school i was bullied because i wasnt allowed to wear makeup and i played with bugs in the corner of the playground, too shy to interact with people after the first few attempts were met with being laughed at by girls a grade younger than me, utterly humiliated.

what i mean to say is, cis girlhood, cis womanhood--there are correct ways to perform it, and to deviate from those ways is to be punished. it absolutely sucks to be born a woman. its a miserable experience where youre all pitted against one another. but some manage to find a place in it. some find comfort in other girls, a community, a place to belong. and thats something. when you dont even have that? when even other girls treat you like a freak because of your race, your autism, your class? when even the small comforts of cis womanhood are denied from you because you cant perform it correctly no matter how hard you try? why hold onto womanhood, and how dare people punish you and call you an oppressor for embracing your individual, non woman, maybe masculine self?

is it oppression, to be able to punish the people who never had access to womanhood? the people in those screenshots, they talk as if trans men and non woman-aligned nonbinary people had the chance to be women and threw it away to become oppressors. they think of us as traitors who went over to the other side to turn around and stomp on them. they say we police their womanhood by defining ourselves apart from it, when those are the rules that kept us alienated and barred out in the first place.

they say all this as if we could even grasp cis male privilege if we wanted to and tried. they say this as if we universally pass. they say this as if by rejecting womanhood for ourselves we inherently seek cis manhood and hate women.

transmasculine and non female aligned nonbinary experiences are so, so very varied. some feel they were born men and have always conceptualized themselves as men, internalized gender propaganda as men. some of us grew up not particularly internalizing any of it. i personally think of myself sometimes as a failed woman, as a woman-reject. not bitterly, not to the fault of women really, since women are forced to compete constantly, but i do see myself as someone who could not access womanhood no matter how hard i tried. and i tried so, so hard. i didnt really hate being a woman. i didnt grow up with a lot of dysphoria, i only discovered im trans when i learned about gender euphoria--the dysphoria actually got worse AFTER i figured it out. i had nothing against womanhood, i just. never felt included in it. and it hurt. and in some ways it still does.

does that make me an oppressor?

[starsnhiseyes]

one thing i RLY WISH ppl understood about trans gay men vs cis gay men is that conforming to masculinity does NOT necessarily make us feel comfortable like i read smth the other day that suggested that conforming to masculinity makes trans men happier whereas it makes gay men unhappier and its like no that's not it

what makes trans men happier is being recognised as men instead of women. and that often means we have to perform masculinity even more strictly than cis gay men do. because while a cis gay man might be belittled, excluded, looked down on, and otherwise discriminated against for not being masculine enough, no one is going to look at him and genuinely think "oh lol she has a uterus and a vagina shes not even a man 💀" but they WILL do that to a trans man who doesn't sufficiently perform masculinity. they disregard our gender with even more firmness and conviction than they do with cis gay men.

what makes us happy is not performing masculinity. its being recognised as male! and often if we don't perform masculinity even more than cis gay men do, we don't pass, and it's easier to perform masculinity we might not necessarily like or want than it is to go through life being *genuinely* seen as *actual women* and not as "men who are too feminine" or "sissies" or "women in men's bodies" (not that any of these are okay either)

i promise you if trans men were more respected and our genders taken seriously, we'd be in the exact same boat as cis gay men. i want to be kinda femme! but it's really hard to figure out where the line is between being allowed to be a femme gay guy and being forcibly gendered as a woman in a way that a cis gay man wouldnt

the difference is that trans men often don't have the option to be femme men. our options, in most people's eyes, are masculine, or cis woman. that does not mean we like masculinity any more than cis gay men.

i genuinely struggle with this a lot myself because i don't want to be as masculine as a cishet guy. but i know that the more i deviate from that, the less seriously people are going to take me as literally anything other than a quirky cis woman, and that is more appalling and nauseating to me than being a little more masculine than i want to be. that's not something cis gay men struggle with.

[bitter-bitchbites]

Genuine question, if being trans isn't seen as a medical condition isn't that a bad thing? Insurance wouldn't cover life saving surgeries/hormones, so isn't that detrimental and against the trans communities interests?

“fair” point in theory, but you’re not seeing the matter from the right angle, because you got a transantagonistic and cissexist bias.

being trans isn’t a medical condition and it does not inherently implies medical care. 

transitioning does. like, yeah, hrt, surgeries, stuff that some trans people need so their dysphoria stop beating them in a metaphorical bloody pulp, because they need their body changed so they stop feeling so suicidal. insurance should cover that, because yeah, their mental health and life depend on it.

and no, the “trans” isn’t short for “transitionning”. it’s short for “transgender”, that was thought to contrast with “cisgender”, and “trans” has the sense of “crossing to the other/another side here, while “cis” means staying on the same side one starts on, more or less. that’s ancient greek, i think. so being trans isn’t defined by transitionning. transitionning is a choice, and sometimes it’s not, because sometimes it’s the only solution to not break because of dysphoria.

because of course, dysphoria is also its own medical thing, it’s a mental disorder, that can cause depression, self harm, self hatred, and suicidal urges.

but not every trans person has deadass terrible dysphoria that we can’t deal with without changing our bodies at a high price. some have mild dysphoria, that they can deal with haircuts, different clothes, and shaping their bodies in one they like themselves as and all. sometimes it’s bargaining because they can’t afford surgery, but sometimes, they just don’t feel like they need surgery. and yeah im mainly talking about nb trans ppl, altho there gotta be binary trans ppl who are like that too. i just know that it’s smtg we nb ppl often feel like. 

nonbinary ppl show that (hence why transmedicalists aka truscums hate us, tho idk why they care so much about pathologizing us and themselves). we don’t always hate our body. there are trans ppl, nb or not, that don’t suffer dysphoria, because dysphoria isn’t smtg you’re born with, it’s a disorder that’s caused by a bad environment that triggers it. 

extreme example, imagine a trans boy who’s forced at age 0 into pink dresses, pink shoes, pink hats, drinks from pink cups, in a pink chair, sleeps in a pink bed, in a pink room. and he’s said “you’re a girl girly girl” all the time, goes to dancing class because “that’s what girls do”, is put on make up cuz “that’s what girls like” and can’t put on pants cuz “that’s not a girl thing”. forced in a cissexist bs mold. a nightmare. it’s not that that makes him a boy, he was a boy at age 0, regardless or circumstances; but he grew in an environment he could not be comfortable exploring his identity and questioning his assigned gender. and that’s going to worsen his already possible dysphoria. 

but being trans isn’t what’s going to make him break down and slap his abusive mother with that fucking pink violin, and run away to live with his bf in the next state raising cats, no, that’s his anger caused by the hurt of his many mental illnesses, dysphoria being one of them.

being trans doesn’t cause pain. it’s dysphoria’s fault. and not every trans person has dysphoria, and sometimes nb ppl have dysphoria, and sometimes not and they’re still trans, and some trans ppl’s dysphoria goes away at some point. but being trans doesn’t.

and take me for example. i have dysphoria. had it since i was 10. im a demigirl. that’s a nb(trans) woman identity. but i don’t wanna change my body with surgery. i don’t want to take away parts of myself, because i got enough of that, and i want to love my body. so instead i wanna add stuff, like letting my body hair do its thing, and not wearing bras and getting muscles, and asking ppl to use they/them for me, and not try and push me into being whatever tf they think a cis girl does. and that, plus mental work on my image, helped me tone down my dysphoria. maybe i’ll see if i can get hormones, if it doesn’t turn out i already have pocs. i was sick because of my dysphoria. not because im trans.

there’s a lot of cases like this that are weird and hard to understand, maybe, but they all point to one thing: the problem is dysphoria and other mental illnesses caused by being misgendered and abused.

i wanna be trans. i like that. it’s good, it’s me, it helps me, the community is mostly nice, im at peace with that label, and i don’t want to have it taken off. because that’s what it’d mean, to see transidentity as a medical condition. it’s be an illness. something to correct, to fight, to destroy. i don’t want to fight myself. neither does the majority of trans ppl.

so no, not pathologizing transidentity isn’t anywhere near detrimental to the trans community. because we still have valid problems that deserve specific attention, we still have dysphoria, we still want to transition, and we deserve the health care that we need to cope with cissexist abuse. the problem isn’t being trans. it’s the environment, the ppl, the society we live in. and doctors already know that. they don’t allow you to get hrt on insurance because you’re trans. they do because they dx you have dysphoria. that’s literally how they decide if we deserve to get the treatment we know we need. sometimes they won’t even dx ppl with dysphoria that they have dysphoria, because they’re “too mentally ill for that”, or “too sane to be trans”. and hormones don’t even cost as much as we gotta pay them. the prices are artificially inflated, like most medicines, because a compagny own them.

trans ppl don’t need to be pathologized to get the issues linked to our marginalized identity acknowledged. insurance would/should cover surgery and hrt regardless of what ppl think being trans is. because when we say we got a fucking problem or need things, we should be listened.

we would be, if our society cared. we wouldn’t be pathologized if our governments weren’t cissexist trans-hating little shits.

another example, a comparison this time. being afab isn’t an illness. but we still need medical attention, like detecting breast and uterus cancers, or other gyneacological treatment that can be a matter of life and death. and to that, you add the mental baggage caused by being in a mysoginistic cissexist patriarchy. sounds like worth being covered by insurance, uh? well not to many pseudo-civilized countries, but to the happiest on earth, it does, and it works. and yet being afab, especially a cis woman, isn’t an illness, or a curse.

because yeah, we also used to think that women were inherently sick and taht they needed men’s guidance and validation to be allowed to live, it’s just the same fucking mentality, but applied to trans ppl, with cis ppl. 

we’re not the correct gender, we don’t even perform it correctly, so we’re not worth being cared and listened to.

that’s victim blaming. that’s putting ppl under oppression, making them grow in a toxic environment they can’t escape from because it’s their very identity that’s thought to be inherently hostile, and we tell them it’s their fault. that they’re sick and that’s it.

considering being trans a medical condition is fucking murder. you’re placing the power in cis ppl’s hands doing that, because that means we’re to be corrected, and only them can do that. it also gatekeeps from getting treatment. it also misplaces the blame on our identity when it should be on our oppression.

being transmedicalist is allyship to the cistem. that’s believing the lie they made up to say we only deserve care if we accept that we’re sick, and to be ashamed.

im repeating myself, but insurance should cover our treatments for our dysphoria, and let us do what we wish of our bodies and identity as we endanger no one. nobody is allowed to call us ill for what we are while ignoring what we suffer of. we should get at least partially insurance covered surgery and hrt and completely insurance covered when we have dysphoria. it’s possible. spain does it, in good enough conditions. yeah, spain, the catholic country that was still a royalist dictatorship fourty years ago. and france too, can do the insurance coverage, even if it’s harder because you need psychiatric approval first, which is bs and intrusive. 

we aren’t sick for being trans, we deserve to be listened on our terms, that’s not a fleeting dream, and that’s not up to debate. 

and we’re going to change shit so we can get that.

[elvesofnoldor]

kinda went off the rail yesterday and made a dragon age elf oc called Micah, who is based on gwindor and I plan this elf’s story into finley lavellan’s story arc in inquisition and now i decided that after my lavellan and dorian breaks up one year post-trespasser in this fanfic arc i planned for them, they aren’t gonna get back together by the end of the fic. instead, my lavellan is gonna keep taking a break from this relationship and im gonna leave it open like that. like, im not sure if i wanna ship my lavellan with this Micah (whom i actually really love right now), but lavellan x dorian is making less and less sense the more i think about it. And honestly, i dont think any sort of development dorian can have would change anything substantially.

i always have a rough time writing lavellan x dorian, cause the fact that dorian is tevinter, the fact that he shares kinship with slavers and slave owners is just always fucking ridiculous on its own. And given that lavellan is an elf in dragon age universe and there is this history of tevinters enslaving his ancestors and enacting literal and cultural genocide against his people, i always have a hard time justifying lavellan falling in love with dorian and im pretty sure other ppl has that problem too. Also, even though dorian is the head of his house now, we still dont know if he dismisses the goddamn slaves his parents owned, so there is also this bullshit. Then there is dorian “i almost definitely slept with elven sex slaves in the elven slums--who are either socially marginalized people forced into sex work or victims of sex trafficking” pavus talking about how slavery isn’t that bad in tevinter, and then turn around and wax poetic about how same-gender relationships aren’t meant to be about love in tevinter wah wah wah. Anybody who read the codex entry on tevinter culture in da:i knows that same-gender relationships are only frowned upon in tevinter imperium when it disrupts the cis-heterosexual political marriages between noble mage houses, same-gender sex and relationships are in fact ENCOURAGED in tevinter when it happens between slave owners and their slaves. so yeah, i said dorian has never been a fucking victim before, well, this is why. sexuality and class privilege/oppression are intertwined in real world and in fictional universes that mirrored the real world and believe or not, being the top of social hierarchy means dorian got the better end of the bargain. he said, oh, “anything between two men, it’s about pleasure”. yeah, specifically a slaver owner’s pleasure in violating and further dehumanizing a person lol!!! but sure dorian you are so fucking oppressed.  im just. i have been wary before, of dorian. because of this slavery thing, and i never really talked abt why. and im just. i am even more wary now. and i still like dorian i guess, but, lmao. i just can’t make lavellan and dorian some sort of great love story, cause it really ain’t one. lavellan fell in love with dorian cause i insisted on having romance interests in every single one of my dragon age playthroughs--especially when it’s a canon one, but honestly he really shouldn’t have. in my fic, they broke up cause  finley lavellan knew dorian used to whore around in tevinter’s elven slums/alienages, and someone lied to lavellan and said that dorian is still doing that with lavellan living at his estate, and even though lavellan knew abt the truth later, he still felt gross about sharing a bed with someone who slept with potential victims of sex trafficking, so, they are taking a break for now. it’s just bad ok, lavellan is also in the right, ok. fuck knows whats gonna happen in da4, i doubt it’d change anything--and that’s speaking on the pretence that dorian will even be involved in da4.  i have this headcanon abt lavellan crafting a pair of rings for him and dorian in his forge as their engagement rings, i will retain that headcanon about the engagement rings, but the ring might not be for dorian.  anyways this is elf oc is based on gwindor, and gwindor’s story is that he was an elven lord (presumably a noldor elf) of hidden kingdom of nagathrond, and he was a valiant and fierce warrior who literally charged inside The Devil Himself (morgoth)’s stronghold with his company after his little brother was brutally executed (god. poor gelmlir) in front of the elven host, unfortunately for him, everybody in his company is killed and he alone was captured and enslaved and forced to work in morgoth’s mine for 14 years. apparently during the 14 years, he was “mutilated”, his hair turned grey during the process, and the experience “sapped his strength” (i think it’s like, spiritual strength, cause it seems elves in tolkien universe draws strength and power of all kinds from their fea aka their spirit). he eventually escaped and he lost his hand in the process, and almost died from losing the goddamn hand, but then he got rescued by another elf. BUT this elf (beleg) got accidentally stabbed to death by his disaster of a human best friend soon after. And gwindor, who’s already dealing with a truck load of trauma himself, was kind enough to comfort and and guide this disaster human dude (who went in shock cause he can’t accept what he did with his own damn hands) and brought him to nagthrond aka his home. but when gwindor needed love and support the most from his loved ones, they all stop listening to him and he lost his previous influence on his people and nobody is there to help him through his trauma, and he ended up feeling like he’s unfit to be loved, which is bullshit. eventually this disaster human dude’s dumbass advice got him and everybody he loved killed. And i was like it’s pretty bullshit that this obviously traumatized character is ostracized from his community for being traumatized, instead of getting the love and support he deserves and i said thats bullshit because in this house traumatized people get to have live happily ever after. so my desire to make gwindor happy inspires the creation of this elf oc.  now dragon age elves can’t really be lords or ladies or prince or princess, but the keeper and the keeper’s children are usually descendants of the elven nobilities of the dales, so, that should be close enough. Also i want more dalish mage characters anyways. This elf oc is a dalish mage, his name is Micah and he’s the First of his clan, as matter of fact. I wouldn’t say he’s exactly like merrill, but he does have merrill’s hair colour (dark raven hair but his hair is long), merrill’s eyes (more hazel than just green, but yeah) and merrill’s skin tone (light/pale). he’s also the more studio type, like merrill, and has a more bubbly personality than either of my lavellans. This dalish mage used to love the fade, and he loved the ancient songs he witnessed in the fade the most. Micah also has a beautiful voice and he’s very good at singing and he always carries a little lute with him to accompany his tunes. When he’s not nose deep in tomes about spells and magical theories and ancient texts, he’s out singing in the woods with his lute--he only performs in front of his family or his closest childhood friends since he’s not a people person. While finley lavellan has this appearance of gentleness, he can be quite ruthless and cold. And lavellan is more of a natural leader type of person. Micah, on the other hand, is truly a soft and gentle soul and is really not the kind to truly be a leader of any kind. 

so what happened is that, Micah is from a clan that’s always travelling around ferelden. they settled around denerium when the fifth blight broke out (that was events of da:o), but specifically he went to the denerium alienage to trade some goods with the shop keepers at least two weeks prior to the warden’s arrival at the alienage. However, he noticed the presences of the tevinters, become worried for the alienage’s safety since he suspects these are slavers, and he’s locked in the quarantine inside because of the spread of the plague. shianni found him trying to warn the sick alienage residents and shared her concern, but at the time shianni is just suspicious and not openly oppose to the tevinters’ presences. now in da:o, im pretty sure if you are an elf warden at least, you can feign sickness and get “admitted” in, but then you’d get stripped of your belongings and had to fight 14 tevinter enemies with literally no weapon so im pretty sure you weren’t supposed to do that (i did that cause i was a dumbass). so what happens is that Micah tried doing that, he ended up fighting a dozen and more soldiers with no weapon or any sort and was quickly subdued. And he was shipped away with the rest of alienage residents before the warden ever got to confront the tevinter slavers unfortunately. he just turned 20. Then after his disappearance, shianni becomes more openly oppose to the tevinters’ presences at the alienage since she’s more convinced that something fishy is going on.   so...a tevinter magister had him....for 10 years. that guy is a blood mage and he’s also like, basically danarius. so like, a demon. Not gonna go into detail about what happened because i dont like to talk too much about actual events that caused the traumas, i just wanna talk about the recovery and dealing with the trauma. but, basically, micah revealed right away that he is a mage, hoping the status of being a mage’d get him released in tevinter but that didn’t happen and the magister kept using his blood to fuel his spells, since his blood is potent with magic. later, the magister also experimented on him with semi-refined lyrium to make his blood even more potent but the experimentation failed and permanently blinded Micah and turned his hair white and he received a long scar from the left eye that goes straight down to his lips and continues down the right half of his torso. Basically, instead of losing a hand like gwindor, Micah lost his sight. And apparently, in canon, king maric got captured by this tevinter blood mage magister dude and alistair had to go and save him or whatever but king maric was hooked to this machine and trapped in this dream-state in the fade so that the blood mage can use his blood and life force to fuel spells. so after Micah is blinded and disfigured and deemed not as “useful” as he is before, what happened to king maric sort of happened to him, but he didn’t spend long enough time hook to the machine so he isn’t gonna die once he’s unhooked from the machine. for a while, Micah doesn’t even know he was trapped in a dream, and when he realizes he’s trapped in the fade, he couldn’t get out and back into his body. Events of inquisition start to happen, this tevinter magister is obviously a venatori, and he went south after the inquisition started to fight the venatori everywhere, probably as reinforcement. he brought Micah with him. And i think my lavellan either confronted this blood mage at hissing wastes (maybe it’s the moutaintop camp? maybe it’s after you cleared out the venatori at hissing waste and he came as reinforcement?). not to digress but i’d love to fight a blood mage in inquisition but that was not meant to be, so it’s happening in this oc fanfic scenario.  Inquisitor finley lavellan had a very hard time trying to get to this guy, and know he’s a quite a powerful mage, and he is forced to retreat with his companions and inquisiton soldiers to the camp. This time lavellan decided to sneak in while his party member created a distraction outside, and once inside the camp, he discovered poor micah hooked to a machine--presumably the source of the magister’s power. pegging the machine as something that traps the elf in the fade, lavellan connects himself to the machine and went to find micah in the fade. With lavellan’s help, micah is able to break away from the eternal dream and wake up. his body is obviously frail from spending a few years immobile, so lavellan tried to sneak out with micah in his arms but they were confronted by the magister who brought numerous archers and ambushed them at the lobby (inside some mountain at hissing waste), lavellan opened one or two rifts to suck in the archers, and petrified the magister with earth magic enhanced by the anchor’s connection to the fade (the magister is immobile and his flesh is slowly hardening from the earth magic but he’s alive and acutely and painfully aware of what’s happening to his body). Micah is the one who got the tear the magister from limb to limb with his own magic and explode him into chunks of meat, avenging the abuse that’s done to him. and finley brought micah with him to skyhold and there he rests and recovers. finley,  inquisition mages (not dorian though, him being tevinter mage and a mediocre healer and all, it’s more like, vivenne and solas actually) all help to nurture him back to health. he become healthy again, even though he is still blind and his hair remains the same grey white colour and the scar that disfigured his face is unremovable. Micah unfortunately becomes afraid of the fade and hates it when he dreams, sometime he’d wake up terrified, not knowing if he wakes up from a dream or if he just drops into one. It was with finley’s help that he become more aware of what’s dream and what’s reality. while Micah’s at skyhold, micah and finley becomes good friends as finley constantly visits him and even brings him a lute after knowing micah loves to play and sings. they become close enough that micah is comfortable singing to finley. micah didn’t get involved with inquisition business while he’s recovering, however, he did discover a way to “see” with the tap of his feet and sounds bouncing off object, kinda like how toph (btw i love toph) “see” with passive earth bending. i like to think micah always favours earth magic and telekinesis and rarely uses other elemental magic. Micah ends up combining his telekinesis skills with a form of weaponizing sounds (it’s sound bending lmao) and develops something very close to the force mage specialization in da 2. aka pushing people off with force of sound, manipulating gravity. And Micah uses sound to “see”, basically. And singing evolves from a hobby to necessity, since humming/singing or playing an instrument allows him to “see”, so that he’s not trapped in an eternal darkness.  with finley’s help, micah finds his way back to his clan still wandering around ferelden and they tearfully welcomed his return after presuming him dead for years. That was like, right after the events of inquisition main game concludes. Then three years later, micah crosses finley again in tevinter out of all places. turns out that micah has seen the dread wolf/solas in the fade and he was offered to join him but micah is loyal to finley and did not answer. More importantly, ever since micah is back, he hate it that everybody pities him. even though his clan loves him still, they treat him like a broken fragile thing who can’t take care of himself. And micah, is able to walk around and goes about his daily business as anybody who has their sights, is sick of people pitying him. The fact that he is no longer the First as he is seen incapable of becoming the keeper angers him (and micah is almost never angry), so he willingly left the clan and started his own journey to find out more about the dread wolf and that journey allows him to cross path with finley again. when micah met finley again, finley has already break up with dorian and now lived in the cottage he built somewhere in the woods at the outskirt of some city. There, they both devised the plan to venture out to ruins of Arlathan as companions to find out the truth about the blight and solas’ plan/stopping solas. 

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hi! Could i pls get a matchup for GOT and Naruto?? Im a cis gendered female whose bisexual (but id prefer a male match if thats possible!) my interests are art, music, makeup, and anything glamorously girly. I love working out, but im also a total foodie. I love to sing and perform. Im an actor, and i feel that my purpose in life is to make ppl laugh. I need someone dominant and masculine that can keep me grounded, but also has empathy and can make me laugh. The more buff, the better! Thank you!

GOT - Robb Stark

- Your creativity is something quite rare in Winterfell, but he loves that about you. Sometimes you use your creativity to help Robb with war strategies, and he finds that your ideas are often quite ingenius and always helps him out on the battlefield. He always listens to and considers what you’ve said, and even though others think it unwise, he knows that more often than not, he’ll regret not listening to you.  Robb honestly just takes care of you and makes sure that you’re well-fed and content before you go to bed each night.

- Life in Westeros can become daunting and downright scary. So he loves the fact that you do what you can to bring light to others’ lives. He often spends his time laughing at what you’re saying and doing, and in the moments when he’s got a true smile on his face he will tell you that he loves you and kiss you gently. He loves watching you lose yourself in another personality, another character, and always knows when you’re using your acting skills to mask something bothering you.

- He’s incredibly empathetic. Having so many younger siblings means that Robb is very good at comforting others and getting down to the root of whatever is upsetting them. So he’s there with cuddles and whatever else you need from him, but he’s also not afraid to tell you when enough’s enough and that you need to sort out and take action against whatever i bothering you. He’s always got your best interests in his heart and just wants to see you happy. 

Naruto - Kiba Inuzuka

- Kiba finds it incredibly relaxing to be around you. He loves your creativity and understands the depth of emotion, time and effort that goes into making anything remotely artistic. He often works out with you or does whatever kind of exercise you’re up for doing, and he uses this as a way to spend time with you and motivate you. As far as food goes, well, you often go out to eat and Kiba makes sure you’re eating the right amount of food for you and that you’re always happy with where you go to eat. 

- Your purpose in life is to make people laugh, and this is something that Kiba loves about you. The life of a shinobi isn’t an easy or pleasant one, so your spreading of cheer and joy gives him that little bit of extra value, extra worth and sunshine to hold onto. When he’s missing you or is having trouble completing a mission, his mind turns to you and your laugh, the warmth that comes over you when you smile, and it pushes him through. He’d do anything to protect that smile.

- Kiba would always know when you’re not quite yourself and would do whatever he knew would work to bring you back to yourself. His intuition would be helpful in pinning exactly what’s wrong and he’d be there with open arms and two listening ears. He loves you and would do absolutely anything for you.

[maghrebim]

On your post about reblogging to punch Terfs and Nazis you talk about how you rarely see people stand up for the groups that they affect. What are some ways to better do this? What are things people can do that would be more helpful?

ok so i really like this ask and im sorry that it took me a bit to answer it but i wanted to do it somewhat right even though im like......an 18 y/o dumbass with a blog please keep that in mind

different groups have different needs, of course, and geographically what one can actively DO can vary a ton, but in online activism and generally in leftist/sj spaces there’s a lot that could use improvement. getting rid of microaggressions is a big one, and its something probably everyone is guilty of. analyzing your own conceptions about marginalized groups that you dont belong to and your language when talking about these groups and how you treat members of a group. battening down on cissexist and transphobic language and ideas is a good start, wrt the trans community at least. this isnt new at all but basically dont unnecessarily gender language to exclude trans folk, dont gender body parts, be cool about peoples pronouns, do your own research, TALK TO PEOPLE (!! this is an important one! members of a marginalized group tend 2 be the best experts after all), be careful of & learn to recognize insidious radfem rhetoric like ppl talking about “male socialization” re: trans women (an incorrect and fucked up concept) or “biological sex” or those kinds of things, and, if youre financially able, support people with their transition! that shit is expensive! there are tons of donation posts there for people who need hrt or surgery, and even just reblogging helps a little bit. boost voices coming from the community, be critical of the media you consume and if youre cis use your privilege to protect and help trans people in the ways youre able to. GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL ELECTIONS! do a bit of research about the politics and elections in your area, and use your vote to shut down horrible politicians who want to use their power to punch down on marginalized groups by passing laws and bills that discriminate against them, overtly or not. theres probably a lot more than this and its pretty basic, but its something at least!

also i think some of the above could be said for groups affected and targeted by nazis and white supremacy too, although antisemitism in particular can be incredibly covert and IS really widespread in leftist spaces, which someone else could probably talk more about than me since im dumb as fuck. but yknow, shut down alt-right assholes who spout that garbage (using reductive terms like “the jews”, “blacks”, “transgenders”, etc. is a BIG red flag), make an effort to educate yourself on the history behind nazism (and understand that antisemitism didnt begin or end with nazis), shut down holocaust denial AND attempted “justification” of the holocaust (but also: if youre not jewish or rromani then dont overstep your bounds wrt this topic in particular because whatever you have to say about it is probably gonna be extremely lacking), be careful of stereotypes and hate speech (”jews are greedy, barbaric, [any comparison to an animal], colonizers, white supremacists, controls the government” etc.) AS WELL AS goyim making criticisms of jewish people and/or zionism. be wary of (goyishe) people who generalize or use being anti-zionist as a shield against accusations of antisemitism, and who calls anyone who calls them out on their antisemitism a zionist. take jewish people seriously on our accusations of antisemitism (suggesting jewish folks are overly paranoid is, you guessed it, antisemitic), BOOST OUR VOICES (a lot of posts we make about things regarding us & antisemitism usually just circulate among other jewish people). for the love of g-d, do not ask a jewish person on their stance on palestine and israel if its unsolicited and not something they tend to talk about. learn more about our culture! knowledge is fun and learning whats appropriation and whats appreciation is pretty important i think. be wary of nazi imagery!!! its not always as obvious as actual literal swastikas, neo-nazis are known for using imagery and, like, certain phrases to be more lowkey about their nazism. learn to recognize these.

this is super long already so im gonna (try to) wrap it up and also put another disclaimer here that i can be really fucking stupid so if i messed up please tell me and also realize that i could probably be more constructive or specific about this and that i probably left out a shitton of things people can do. you can always improve in your activism!! theres always stuff to learn or unlearn, theres always something to do, theres always gonna be times when you fuck up but letting people educate you so you can better = very good start!

like, going into the point of my original post (here, for reference), SAYING you want to shut down terfs/nazis/any other hateful group is all well and good, spreading that and making sure they have no platform and dont feel comfortable expressing their disgusting views is great! but saying is one thing, actually doing it is another. like idk hopefully i managed to shed some light on how to do that and how to support marginalized people (specifically trans people and jewish people in this case i guess) at least a little bit. like....people can say they hate terfs and nazis all they want but unless they ACTUALLY do something to demonstrate that then its worthless. performative activism is completely useless and selfish and allowing yourself to become lackluster and not even try to do anything about the problems you claim to oppose or even think about why it needs opposition (beyond “its bad to oppress people”) has no place within activist spaces imo

its a constant struggle probably, and theres always gonna be things you could theoretically Do More of, or ways to be More Helpful, but yknow. begin with the little things and try to grow and extend compassion where you can. ask questions too, if you want to learn how to help specific people. oppression is often systemic and hard to untangle and hard to fight, and like.....not to be sappy but theres a saying from the talmud that goes “you are not obligated to complete the work, but nor are you free to abandon it” and idk. i think thats good to think about. doing just a little bit is better than doing nothing.

anyway im done