#Loki finds out that Thor knew he was adopted/Jotun before him too

[worstloki]

something very horrifying about the concept of Thor but not Loki being told that Loki is Jotun when the brothers are old enough to understand the importance of the secret

[tokoyamisstuff]

Scandal Ch. 4 - Loki x Reader

Summary: Nothing can stop the wrath of the God of Mischief, when he realizes he had been deceived by the people he trusted more than his beloved wife.

Warnings: Angst, Violence

Words: ~1700

"But what the world fails to realize is a villain is just a victim whose story hasn’t been told.” - Chris Colfer

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

Taglist: @hi-there-x @haloangel391 @misssilencewritewell @babayaga67 @accioremuslupinn @mochimommy2002 @just-someone-who-likes-to-write @damalseer @bethanystan @loser-alert @star017 @nina1800 @queenariesofnarnia @n1fangirlsblog @vengefulsokovian @lunamoonbby @freyagallileaevans​

A/N: This is a rather boring chapter, but we’re far from done!

“She already left several moons ago. It was her own wish, we did not force her.”

“Where to?” 

“Midgard.”

Loki was long back on Asgardian territory, yet his mind couldn’t find peace. Well, how could he, now knowing what Laufey told him?

His world had already crumbled to dust when he left you behind - but if Laufey spoke the truth, his whole existence had been built on lies from the very start.

Not knowing where to search for answers, the prince sneaked into Odin’s forbidden chambers, walking in the shadows protecting him in the midst of night.

There it was: The Cascet of Ancient Winters - the very relic that doomed the fate of your newborn, revealing it’s shameful blood to all of Asgard.

It just urged him to try and see for himself, even if the truth would shatter his heart.

“STOP!”

Loki wouldn’t even flinch at the Allfather’s words, already tightly holding the cascet in both hands.

“Am I cursed?”

The God of Mischief wouldn’t even dare to turn around and look at the person he always ever thought to be his father - for as soon as he laid fingers on the cascet, he began turning into that same shade of blue your son did.

Panic began to rise in the young god, fearing to be killed by the people he loved so dearly shall they lay eyes upon what he truly was. His chest began to tighten, fastened breath turning into a cold mist.

“No” was Odin’s firm but unsatisfying answer, to which Loki only responded by putting down the cascet.

“What am I?”

“You’re my son.” His words came from the heart, not even faltering as Loki turned around to present his Jotun form to the Allfather.

“What more than that?!” he almost growled in between gritted teeth, appearance slowly returning to his usual self.

At that deepest, darkest day in his life yet, Loki would be too blinded by betrayal and rage to see his father’s true love towards his adoptive son.

“The cascet wasn’t the only thing you took back from Jotunheim that day, was it?” The prince took firm steps towards the man that he had known all his life, but had become a complete stranger towards him through that sole moment.

Again, only a “no.”

Loki’s mind was racing, thinking about what else may have been hidden from himself - and what kind of consequences that revelation had for everything he had done up until now.

“In the aftermath of the battle, I went to the temple -- and I found a baby” the Allfather continued, “Small, for a giant’s offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die...”

“...Laufeyson” Loki completed Odin’s sentence. So every word the King of the Jotunns had said was indeed a fact.

“W-W-why?!” he almost whined, voice weak and defeated. “You were knee deep in Jotun blood, why would you take me?”

“You were an innocent child-”

“No.” The God of Lies himself had become so sick of being fed those, starting to snap. “You took me for a purpose. What was it???” 

For what felt like an eternity, there was only silence.

The image of that small, blue child in his arms had been painfully burned into his heart back then. But now that he knew the story behind all of this, it held a completely different meaning.

Just like he had been abandoned back on that frozen rock, he had abandoned his own child, as well as the love of his life.

Outcast, abused, left to die...and now, god knows what had happened to you...

That secret had destroyed more than just his own life. It had ruined the only honest happiness he was ever given - you, and his son.

“TELL ME!”

He just needed to know: The reason behind all the pain and suffering he had to endure - and caused to others as well.

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace...through you.”

That was just too much for Loki to bear. “What?” he reacted with a barely-there voice, every word of his father shooting daggers through his heart.

“But those plans no longer matter.” No matter what Odin might want to explain, Loki wasn’t able to listen to any more, jumping into his own conclusions.

“So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up inside of here until you might have use for me?!” he croaked, afraid of the answer.

“Do not twist my words.”

“You could told me what I was from the beginning!” he now yelled, furious at how virtuous Odin would still defend his own action. “Why didn’t you?”

“You’re my son” he repeated once again. “I only wanted to protect you from the truth.”

“Why, ‘cause I-I-I-I’m the monster people tell their children about at night?!” Loki clenched his fists, fingernails drawing blood to his palm.

“At least when my son was born, you should’ve dropped the charade!” Pure agony was dripping from every syllable, and for a mere second, his eyes were glistering bright red once again. “You’ve forsaken two innocent lives - the most important beings in my pathetic existence - and now you’ve burdened me with their suffering as well!”

That sure was a miracle - how a person so broken from the beginning wouldn’t collapse under pressure that huge.

“It all makes sense now, why you favoured Thor, all those years! Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!”

But who cares about the throne, honestly? Not him. Not anymore. Ever since he knew you.

It all dawned to him now: What he could have, if only he had put his trust in you like so many times before.

All his life, he only ever remembers a shadow. At first, he thought it to be the shadow of his brother, or never being enough for his own father. Maybe the other Asgardians looking down on him, making him feel like he doesn’t belong.

Yet in the end, that very shadow was inside of his own mind.

But you?

You had loved Loki with all of your heart, banishing the darkness from his mind through your bright affection.

It didn’t matter to you what anyone thought of him - or even what he thought himself to be.

Because you saw him for what he really was, and he found peace with that.

And he was certain that it wouldn’t matter to you whether he called himself Odinson or Laufeyson - as had you loved his child dearly, ever since he took his first breath.

He could never make up for that greatest of his sins, Loki knew that much.

Or...?

“Where are you going, my son?”

Reluctantly, Loki made his way past the man he now only considered a stranger. Still, when Odin tried to reach out to him, Loki immediately ducked away, startled and afraid for his true nature to hurt anyone.

More than ever before, the God of Mischief despised himself to the core of his being. He was lost, confused, shocked - and still, determined.

“Creating a Kingdom for my family.”

___

[Earth, 2 months later]

On times like these, you thought your mind was betraying you.

Especially when you catched yourself reminiscing sweet, innocent moments - far back in the past, before everything you ever held dearly got destroyed.

You still felt his touch, feather-light on your skin, as well as his scent haunting your memories. And sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder how life would have been, well...if things were different.

Frantically shaking your head, you clasped the book closed and threw it into a corner of the small one-room-flat SHIELD had provided for you.

Your magical pockets were always almost empty, except for a few necessities - and that book. It held the first flower Loki ever gifted you, and you had dried it in between those pages so it would never lose it’s beauty.

But now, remembering meant pain - because Loki Laufeyson would never come back.

For he is dead.

Fell of the Bifrost, as confirmed by Heimdall, who secretly kept in touch with you all this time. So you knew it all: Of his grief and treason, which slowly led him into madness. 

And what did you do in the meantime?! Nothing at all!

You should’ve tried everything, anything to get back and help him go through that time of need, hel!

“Endure it, Y/N...you need to stay strong...for Liam.” After so many times of telling those words to yourself, you doubted them to have any effect on your broken heart at all.

Yet it would never fail to keep you going. For that wonderful child was proof of your love, and now your last memory of him.

Rocking the small Jotun to sleep, tears found their way to your eyes like so many times before, dropping to the baby’s face unnoticed.

So you tried to sing your pain away as you cooed that little wonder to sleep.

“Å eg lengtar så tidt dette landet å sjå, Og det dreg meg så blidt, når eg langt er ifrå. Med den våknande vår vert min saknad so sår, så mest gråta, mest gråta eg kan. Å eg minnest, å eg minnest, å eg minnest så vel dette land. Å eg minnest, å eg minnest, å eg minnest så vel dette land.”

*Translation:

“Oh I long so long to see this land, And it pulls me so gently, when I'm far away. With the waking spring host my missing so sore, so most cry, most cry eg can. Oh I remember, oh I remember, oh I remember this country as well. Oh I remember, oh I remember, oh I remember this country as well.”

[trashmenofmarvel]

Always Will Be - Ch 2

Pairing: Loki x TVA Agent!Reader

Series Warnings (18+ Only): Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Violence, Time Shenanigans, Enemies to Friends to Lovers

Chapter Summary: You interview Laufeyson for his crimes against the Sacred Timeline. 

AO3

The journey from the elevator was uneventful as you led the variant down the long hallway. Other employees of the TVA also walked the hall, alone or in pairs, and they paid attention to the two of you only to make sure you weren’t in their path.

You kept Laufeyson firmly in your periphery, more to keep him from wandering than a belief that he would attempt to escape. You didn’t doubt that would come at some point, but it was a little too early for him to play that hand.

“Where are we going?”

The casual candor of his voice didn’t fool you, not when the sharpness of his gaze was heating the side of your face.

“If it’s to my execution, I would rather know ahead of time,” he added with false friendliness. “It’s just polite.”

“We don’t kill people, Mister Laufeyson.”

“I can’t suffer a liar.”

You stopped before a heavy double door, two Minutemen standing guard on either side of it, and turned to the variant.

“I don’t lie. That’s your department.”

His eyes darkened and genuine anger flashed in their depths, but then it was gone so fast you would have questioned it was there in the first place if you hadn’t known better.

But you did.

Both Minutemen opened the doors, and you led the prisoner into Time Theater 25. It was the same beige color as the rest of the wing, and the only pieces of furniture were a small, round glass table, two metal weave chairs, and a control monitor.

You indicated the seat to the left and said, “Please, make yourself comfortable.”

“I would be more comfortable with this collar removed.”

Out of the corner of your eye he moved, quickly and without warning. You slipped the remote out of your sleeve and thumbed the pad. In the blink of an eye, he vanished and reappeared where he’d been two seconds previously, as if he hadn’t moved at all.

“You’ll find time works differently here at the TVA,” you informed him. “Please, sit.”

He said nothing, the animosity wafting off of him in waves. You ignored him, setting the files of paperwork down onto the table before taking your own chair. He took his own, albeit more cautiously, his eyes narrowed in dislike.

“Let the record show this is the entirety of Loki Laufeyson’s life recording,” you began. “Formerly of Jotunheim, formerly of Asgard—“

“—and formerly of Midgard.”

His smile was sharp.

“I did spend quite some time there. Both in my youth, and well, more recently.”

“I’m well aware.”

“Just wanted to be sure you’re thorough in your interview. That is what this is, isn’t it? My intake interview?”

You ignored the curious tilt of his head, as well as his question, and turned to the control monitor. It was rather small, round and orange, almost reminiscence of the gumball candies invented on Earth.

You flipped a switch and the room dimmed just as a rippling image of light appeared on the wall, powered by the holoprojector.

“We will be very thorough, Mister Laufeyson, and we shall start from the beginning. This is your home world. And that is you.”

The image focused on something small, blue, and wailing. The prisoner as a child, dying and abandoned.

You had seen the reel hundreds of times, had scoured most of this variant’s life. So while the film played, you watched him out of the corner of your eye. It was curious that Laufeyson didn’t flinch at the sight of his infant self being left to die. His face was carefully blank, unreadable, and his eyes barely moved.

But there was a shift when the King of Asgard entered the scene. When Odin lifted the lost babe into his arms, his nose slightly crinkled at the corners.

It was the only obvious tell he gave for quite a while. Laufeyson was closed off, appearing almost bored as his adolescence played out on the wall. The two royal brothers had rowdy, adventure-filled childhoods, though Laufeyson often acted as his brother’s second shadow. He only excelled when given magical lessons by his adoptive mother.

He gave an eye roll or two during Thor’s coronation, and he actually yawned during the fight on Jotunheim. But his boredom fell away when blue stretched across his skin for the first time, inflicted by the touch of a Jotun. And he replaced the carefully constructed mask over the confrontation with his adoptive father, and the truth was revealed that his very identity had been a fabrication.

When the scene was finally over and the King had fallen into Odinsleep, an inexperienced and uneducated person might have believed Laufeyson was unaffected. That all of the events of his childhood were little more than entertainment for his amusement.

But it wasn’t. Having to relive those moments would linger in his mind, and that was the point.

He smirked whenever the scene changed to him displaying power over Thor and his companions while holding the temporary throne. He seemed to enjoy his adoptive brother’s exile to Earth, and there was no shame given for these childish displays. That’s what they were, the product of a child throwing a tantrum.

His mask started to slip again, but not at the timestamp you expected. Laufeyson flinched at the point of violent contact between the Destroyer and Thor, knocking him back and nearly killing him in the process. Would have, if not for Thor’s returned power.

You wondered if Laufeyson had wanted to murder his brother intentionally, or if he had underestimated the Destroyer’s strength.

You picked up a notepad and scribbled down the question. Unfortunately, the chronological record could only display events as they happened, not the motivation or intention of the actors involved. It was a relevant question to ponder later.

“What are you doing?”

You lifted your head to find the variant staring at you. You clicked your pen closed and put it on the table, keeping the notepad firmly in your lap.

“You needn’t concern yourself. Please, pay attention to the screen.”

His gaze narrowed but said nothing. It was a look you were familiar with, though not one aimed at you. It meant Laufeyson would also ponder the question for later, though with an agenda bent toward scheming and manipulation.

You would need to be careful, but not as careful as he needed to be. After all, he was the Time Criminal.

The battle between Laufeyson and Odinson drew a few chuckles and smiles from the variant, as if he were recalling fond memories. His expression flattened into boredom when the King arrived to prevent Loki from falling, and his face remained blank as he let go, falling into the wormhole the unstable Bifrost had created.

It was a show, all for your benefit. Proof that he didn’t care about those he had harmed, that he was above all of his past decisions.

Because of his put-upon apathy, you let the record continue to run. You knew what came next. He did too.

Laufeyson watched his past-self float amongst the stares, frozen and immobilized in the vacuum of space. He didn’t perish, Jotuns and Asgardians were too tough for that, but it wasn’t pleasant. The subzero temperatures, the negative pressure, the absence of air and light, all contributed to his silent suffering.

It was a pleasure compared to what happened after.

A massive, dark ship appeared on the horizon, pulling him onboard. Laufeyson barely had time to defrost (even Jotuns had a freezing limit) before he was fixed with an electric collar and thrown into a cell.

Laufeyson was left in the dark for days with no food or water. He was brought out only to be strung up by his wrists, asked questions he refused to answer, and then he was electrocuted until he was barely conscious.

He was returned to his cell, given nothing for warmth or sustenance, and the process began again several days later.

The present-day Laufeyson didn’t blink. Didn’t seem to breathe as he watched. His eyes were glazed over, skin pale under the harsh lighting.

Another round of torture, but this one was different. It was inflicted not by electricity, but by a blue stone. Not the stone he would use to splinter the timeline. This stone was actually yellow, and it commanded minds rather than physical space, but Laufeyson didn’t know that at the time.

All he knew was agony, delivered by the hands of the owner of the ship. A warlord from Titan that would not stop until Laufeyson begged to be allowed to serve.

And beg he would. It had already happened, was recorded with perfect clarity, and it would happen within just a few short hours of being exposed to the Mind Stone.

Laufeyson made a small noise, quiet compared to the distant screaming of his former self.

“What was that?” you asked at normal.

“I said stop.”

When you craned your head in his direction, he refused to meet your eye.

“I don’t want to see this.”

You put your pen down on the table and fully faced him, folding your fingers in front of you.

“Do you verbally acknowledge that you wish to skip the contents of your time with Thanos the Mad Titan?”

“Isn’t that what I just said?”

“A yes or no response is required.”

“Yes.”

He drew out the word in a growl.

“Do you verbally acknowledge that the Time Variance Authority is under no legal responsibility for memory gaps or incorrect memory recall for the time skipped during this interview process—“

“Yes.”

“Do you verbally acknowledge the contents that lie herein are accurate and complete—“

“Yes!”

He jerked his head toward you, his eyes reflective and bloodshot, teeth bared in a quiet snarl.

“It’s accurate, as you bloody well know, so unless you derive sick pleasure from the tortured screams of others, would you be so kind as to fucking skip it!”

His chest heaved, skin dotted with sweat, and he was half out of his seat with fingers clawing into the table hard enough for hairline cracks to splinter down the glass.

You had witnessed the variant become aggressive and hostile before, mostly against his adopted brother. Having the force of that fury directed at your direction was a much different experience.

You dropped your eyes and smoothed your tie, giving him a moment to collect himself. When you heard the shuffle of him retaking his chair, you lifted your head but kept your eyes on the monitor. With a few knobs turned and a switch flipped, the image on the wall, currently depicting Laufeyson kneeling before Thanos, supplicating him with promises of whatever he wished.

What Thanos wished was now being shown on the screen: the variant arriving on Earth to steal the Tesseract and prepare for Thanos’ full force to arrive.

Replaying the events of Earth Incident 327-A (colloquially known as the Battle of New York by Earth residents) garnered less of a response from the variant. He watched impassioned as his past-self led the Chitauri against the Avengers, and subsequently lost that battle.

“I really don’t see what all the fuss is about,” he said, gesturing vaguely at the screen as it displayed all of the Avengers seemingly threatening the audience. “A few humans perished. It’s what they do. Nothing to get excited over.”

You ignored the comment. He wasn’t, after all, under scrutiny for the lives he’d taken while under Thanos’ control.

No. The reason for his current incarceration came next.

The holoprojector displayed Alexander Pierce stopping Thor Odinson and Tony Stark, demanding Laufeyson and the Tesseract be remanded to his custody. The argument was interrupted as Stark went into a mild cardiac dysrhythmia due to Scott Lang sabotaging his Arc Reactor.

Lang then kicked the case containing the Space Stone towards another variant of Stark.

The only occupant of the room to notice was Laufeyson. Bruce Banner (as his Hulk persona) created the chaos needed for the Tesseract to be freed from its case, tapping lightly against Laufeyson’s boot.

You fully turned to the variant just as his past-self picks up the Tesseract, disappearing into a spacial rift and vanishing off the screen.

“On May 4th, 2012 at 11:39AM local time, a nexus event occurred.”

The variant rolled his eyes. You continued.

“Loki Variant L1130—“

His eyes narrowed.

“—by using the Tesseract to escape the Avenger’s custody, you created an unsanctioned timeline, and therefore have been deemed a Time Criminal. This timeline has been course-corrected by the Time Variance Authority, and it is my duty as your handler to determine whether you are to be assigned to a Time Cell or pruned.”

“Pruned?” He wrinkled his nose. “I believe the term you’re looking for is killed. I arrived at the same time as another man, and he refused to cooperate. Those goons melted him without hesitation.”

You slightly leaned forward, speaking concisely so there would be no misunderstanding.

“That ‘man’ was a variant, as are you. A being whose existence should never have come to be, and therefore, your life is null. Forfeit. It is by our grace that you even draw breath, and it’s my job to ensure you continue breathing from behind the walls of a cell.”

You leaned back and shuffled your papers in front of you.

“As I said before, we don’t kill people, Mister Laufeyson. Variants are not people.”

Something flashed within his eyes. You only caught a glimpse of it before it was gone, and then his expression was back to one of hostility.

“I deny the charges.”

You blinked.

“You cannot deny them.”

“I just did.”

“It is an irrefutable fact that you stole the Tesseract—“

“My apologies, but,” Laufeyson interrupted, not sorry at all, “did we not watch the same act of the play? Because I distinctly remember seeing a very tiny man stealing the Tesseract first, handing it off to what appears to be a second Tony Stark, who then tried to make off with it before a certain green monster deprived him of his ill-gotten gains.”

Laufeyson spread his hands, giving a toothy smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“You may as well charge the Hulk with spoiling the timeline—it certainly wouldn’t have happened without his helpful input. In fact, bring in all the Avengers for crimes against the ‘Sacred Timeline.’ They’re just as guilty as I am, unless that goateed chap I saw happened to be Stark’s long lost twin brother.”

Laufeyson sat up straighter, staring you down.

“You speak of Time Criminals? It’s they you should be after.”

Then just as quickly, he crossed his arms and leveled you with an amused tilt of his head.

“Perhaps you could provide me with a taskforce and resources, and I could return and eliminate them for you. No? Nothing? Cat got your tongue again, darling?”

You rose to your feet, bracing the palms of your hands against the table as you looked him in the eye.

“You picked up the Space Stone and stole it, breaking the timeline. You did that. No one else. It was your actions that brought you here.”

It was not this Loki variant those words had been spoken to, but the smile was wiped from his face just as quickly. Deep down, he may have sensed an echo of those words. A phenomenon known as déjà vu to the common layman, when in reality it was something variants experienced from the Sacred Timeline they were no longer a part of.

Laufeyson also rose to his feet, leaning against the table to meet you in a staring match. He had height on you, and he took advantage of it to lean uncomfortably close.

“You speak of my actions as if you can possibly understand them. You think you know me by watching from a safe, comfortable distance?”

His eyes looked between yours, boring into them with an intensity that was unsettling. And when he spoke, his voice was low and deceptively soothing.

“I know what this place is. Your organization is shrouded in mystery, more of a legend than fact according to Asgardian historians. But Frigga, she should sense your constant manipulations, echoing across time. She forewarned me of what should happen if I come across your ilk. She thought you one of the greatest threats of the universe, but I? I see an amusing sideshow. The Time-Keepers have built quite the circus.”

He leaned in so close you could barely keep him in focus, his warm breath puffing across your face.

“And I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.”

You didn’t budge, refusing to cede ground and give him the satisfaction he sought.

“And in this metaphor of yours, where do you see yourself?”

His lips spread into a sharp grin, and he hovered closer.

“In the center of the ring, of course.”

For a moment, you thought he would close the rest of the distance. The sudden aversion of what he might do was so strong that you looked away first, backing off and sitting back down under the pretense of organizing your files.

“It sounds as if you cast yourself as the ringleader,” you commented, still shuffling papers. “The smartest of us all.”

“I am smart.”

“I know.”

He went silent as he slowly sat down, his expression open with surprise. The only one who had ever acknowledged his intelligence without it being an insult was his adoptive mother. Those who knew Laufeyson personally knew how intelligent he was and saw it as a threat to their ego.

You had no such concern, nor did you have an ego to protect. Laufeyson was smart, smarter than you by all accounts, but he wasn’t in control. You were. And that was something he still needed to learn, for his own sake.

“I believe we’ve discussed all that is required,” you said. “This interview is over.”

You stood from your chair and closed your folders, picking them up and tucking them into your arms.

Laufeyson mirrored your movement, rising to his feet, the movement quicker to catch up to you.

“Now, hang on just a minute,” he protested. “We’re not through here, not by a long shot. I demand to speak to someone with actual authority around here, because this is a mistake. I don’t belong here, and you don’t have the power to—”

Pulling out your remote, you rubbed your thumb across the dial, and an internal TVA portal appeared underneath Laufeyson’s feet. He disappeared into it with a cry before the beige portal vanished.

You adjusted your files, straightened your tie, and left the time theater. You had just enough time to grab a bite to eat before the next stage of Laufeyson’s intake procedure.

Next Chapter

[tarithenurse]

Stolen - 41

Fandom: MCU Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x fem!gifted!reader Content: Angst, uncertainty, surprises, diplomacy of sorts. A/N: Reminder: this is unrelated to the D+ Loki series. The only thing in common between the two is the background (ie: the MCU movies). Sorry it’s taken so long for this chapter - I’m a mess. Ask or re-blog for tag.

41. Unkillable Monster

...   Loki  ...

He knows the way, knows when to slip past a pillar and use the temporary cover to alter his disguise into someone else – someone more distinguished whom no one would question as he stalks the marble floors with the red cape fluttering behind him and blue eyes hard as cold steel. At least this way, Loki thinks, you can be of use, brother.

Though the knock is heavy, it doesn’t quite match the hand the Trickster is using. Still, the answer is affirmative and he enters, closing the door behind him as soon as he sees the All-Mother standing there.

“What a surprise” The queen arches a brow with all the disappointment of a mother.

Still maintaining the illusion (and a gleeful smile), Loki knows he has to ensure she is alone before he can reveal himself. “We have to -” The next words die on his lips as the very man he is impersonating steps around the corner from the balcony.

Heavy, blond brows scrunch together in confusion and the Jotun has to credit the real Thor for showing more concern about Frigga’s lack of worry than the fact that he’s faced with his own image. Still, he lifts an arm, hand outstretched to the open archways he just came through in a silent command for the damn hammer to find its way up to this part of Valhalla.

No one talks as they all wait. If I must, I will incapacitate you. Judging by the hard glare, it seems the God of Thunder might be thinking the same of the intruder. Frigga, on the other hand...as soon as Mjølnir slams into the awaiting fist, she throws her arms up in resignation.

“Oh, for Mimir’s Beard’s sake!” A flourish of fingers sends the heavy curtains falling into place to shut out all light and sound from outside. “I knew this was inevitable. Now sit down. Both of you.” She points to chaise-lounges on either side of a low table. “And don’t you dare place that hammer on the table.”

“Mother, I am-”

“No.”

Loki smirks but only for a second as Frigga shoots him a glance. “And you,” her voice is foreboding, “at least have the decency to show yourself.”

Seating herself equal way between them, fingertips burying into the opposite palm and lips pulled thin, the queen waits while the silence becomes oppressing until both “children” do as their mother whishes. A gracefully arched eyebrow is enough to keep the oaf under control even as he reels from the sight of the fallen prince who has the gall to grin in return, but the air still crackles discreetly – Thor is flexing his fingers the way he always does when longing to grip the handle of his weapon.

Come now, Loki beckons silently as his pretend brother stands, do it.

There are unidentifiable emotions mixed into the confusion in the blue eyes; there’s a hesitation in the movements at first when the crown prince steps closer. None of that remains visible to the younger of the gods as strong arms pull him into a tight embrace that forces all of the air from his lungs.

“I’ve missed you, brother,” Thor mumbles with a desperation that scares Loki.

It takes longer than the Jotun appreciates before he is released once more, allowing him to flatten the creases in his clothes as he fights an unusual ache. Thor, on the other hand, doesn’t even attempt to hide the tears gleaming in his beard when he sits once more, smiling fondly at Frigga too and nudging his head towards Loki as if he, Thor, is the one who has known and brought about the surprise.

Finally, the queen turns to her adoptive son. “Did you speak with them?”

“Ah, I suspected you may be behind the arrangement,” the raven-haired male admits.

Until now, Thor has held back the storm of thoughts raging within. “Does fath-...no, of course he doesn’t know. Brother, how long have you been here?” but he doesn’t allow time for an answer, “[Y/N]...you arrived with her. Why? Why would you come? Is this all because -”

“Yes, because of Thanos,” Loki interrupts, suspecting that there will be no end to the questions. “Why else should I bother returning to Asgard?”

She hides it well, the queen. Only Loki notices the slight twitch of her hand when she pinches it as though the gesture could lessen the sting of the words. Only then does he notice that his hands too have busied themselves in a similar manner.

“Because this is your home,” Thor continues, “we are your family and we have been worried about you.” A black brow raised in question is enough for the man to reconsider his words. “Mother and I...there is goodness in you! What we have learned since the...the incident on Midgard, although your actions seemed sincere, it’s clear now that you were not truly to blame and that it was Thanos’ doing.”

“Incident?”

“Boys...” the warning is spoken kindly and calmly but is all the more potent. “Loki, there will come a time when you will have to explain fully what has been...but right now,” she looks to both of them in turn, “we must deal with what might be.”

[Y/N]. But no, the immediate concerns for the two people sitting before him are the advancing forces of Alfheim and the threat which Heimdal has spoken off too.

It soon becomes evident to the prodigal son that Odin has no intention of spending much effort in diplomatic solutions, preferring to trust in the forces of his own realm if Alfheim doesn’t alter its course of action. He has begrudgingly allowed for Frigga to attempt to mediate until they advance too far which he is certain they will.

“Now that your mortal can not call them off, perhaps you can? She has given me the impression that you are in favourable standing there?”

Thor’s words leave a heavy numbness within Loki. “Truly, she is the one they care for. I am no longer owed any favours by them which means they would only heed my requests due to the association with [Y/N].” Even speaking her name hurts. “She is your hope.”

Mother and son look painfully alike as they share a glance of foreboding – sun-kissed hair and bright eyes that served to fuel Loki’s sense of alienation after his lineage had been revealed – and Loki knows that he longing to share in their knowledge will only bring him pain.

“Tell me,” the demand hardens his voice and cools the air.

It is clear that the choice of who answers is strategic.

“Not knowing the extend of [Y/N]’s powers, Odin has placed her in a deep sleep within a prison cell,” Frigga explains. “She is alive and does not suffer...yet her role is that of a hostage.”

“Wake her.”

“Then what? Brother -”

“We must get her away from Asgard, bring her back to the Älfir! Then she convinces them to retreat and call of any incursion.”

Vague ideas begin to take shape thanks to his keen mind – Loki has always delighted in challenges of the mind. Frigga, who had instilled this intellectual drive during this childhood, senses the direction his thoughts are going and together they formulate a plan sound enough that even Thor believes in it. Little do the two know, that Loki has no intention of following through on the latter steps, because he holds an ace unknown to them.

[gaitwae]

It’s Fate •||• Loki x Reader

WORD COUNT: 3025

Loki stepped into the shadows of the forest, holding his breath and melting into his armor. He wasn’t sure if it was even worth it to go into the Forest of Ydraggsil. But the cosmos were born there, in the “branches” he had been taught about. Loki knew that the answer to his very soul was written in the songs the ruffling leaves sang. His heart hammered in his rib cage as he let out a shaky breath.

He scratched his palms with worry, closing his eyes in thought. He could prove that he was his brother’s equal . . . worthy of being more than just a Jotun. No matter what Odin had said, no matter what Frigga said, he was just not what either of them said. He couldn't be what Frigga had thought he was. He wasn’t even close enough to be as good as she thought. He was much more than Odin had said. Loki could prove that. He just needed to know...

Would it be worth it if he couldn’t?

Child, a beautiful voice of the Norns whispered. That startled him. The Norns were silent, spoke in riddles and curses. But he could just. . . . Tell. He hadn’t expected to hear that. She continued, What brings you to where souls are born and fate is scripted?

Loki swallowed, stepping in to the wood. “Uncertainty,” he says meekly, eyes welling with tears. “And losing the will . . . the will to live.” He sank to his knees. “I beg of you, help me find my place in the world.”

He knew that it was selfish to ask the Norns to give him things, things that not even they could change. He would be cursed for such confident brattiness. He held his head high in the sky, watching the cosmos conflict, purple and blue and green explode and tear at each other. Green smoke curled around his body. Loki had to refrain from panicking, trying his hardest not to scream in fear, not to sob from the pain of his broken soul.

The leaves rustled. He breathed deeply, his heart rate painfully fast. His neck hurt from the rush of blood. His heart kept crying out in the lonely longing for companionship.

Just a place in the world? Nothing else? She sounded. . . . Expectant. Like men who had braved the branches before had always asked for proud things. Wisdom; strength; a lady’s hand. Loki just wanted not to be alone.

A tear slips from his eye. “Give me my glory back. . . . Give me someone who will love me. . . .”

Loki Laufeyson, the Norns whispered with a reassuring tone, you’ll find someone who loves you. It’s fate.

Loki swallowed, gasping some. That was a lie; wasn’t it? It had to be. He wiped his eyes. He sat there, staring at the ground. One day, he would. One day. He tried to swallow his fears. But it didn’t work.

The cosmos rippled again, a woman’s laugh ringing through his ears. Not the Norn who had spoke, it wasn’t Hers. This laugh. . . . It stung. Loki covered his ears. No one he cared for loved him back. He started to hyperventilate. The laughing got louder and louder.

No. No. “Please. . . . Make it stop,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. The smoke curled around his body. His skin turned blue.

“You’re a dirty, evil Jotun,” Thor’s voice taunted somewhere. Loki stood, looking around for his brother. “Did you really believe that the Norns would help you?”

“Stop this illusion!” he pleaded. Loki spun around, hoping to find something. This had to be a lie. “Stop!”

“What illusion, my son? You’re seeing the truth,” Odin called, coming from a different direction. He turned toward the sound, hoping that his father wouldn’t scoff at him, punish him. Tears fell faster. Streamed. His father’s cold voice.

“Father—,” Loki tried, caving in and panicking.

“I’m not your father!” Loki flinched, raising his arms in protection as he stumbled back from the invisible people pushing him.

“No!” Loki cried. “NO!”

---------- -*- ----------

I sat bolt right up in my bed, chest heaving and sweat drenching my body. I looked over to my side. A beautiful woman. My panic melted quickly, but my fears didn’t. I was next to my fiancée. She gently pushed me back down.

“Loki, shhh,” she soothed. “It was all a dream. You’re safe.” I rested my head on her shoulder. She ran her hands through my hair affectionately.

“Oh, Bryleigh,” (Bry-lee) I sigh, hugging her gently. “It was the same dream as last time. . . . With th-the forest . . . you have no idea—”

Her hazel eyes and blonde hair were strangely lit from the moonlight in the window. I had never been more grateful for her. I sigh again, kissing her once, twice, three times. Bryleigh pulled away, resting her forehead against mine.

“It’s okay. Go back to sleep. I love you,” she said, rubbing my back. “We have to both work tomorrow, so we should go back to sleep.” I nodded in agreement. I would have to explain to my secretary, (Y/N) why I was late.

Oh, no. I sat up. I practically scrambled to get dressed. “Honey, what are you doing?” Bryleigh asked. I checked my cellphone. Truly a magical mortal instrument, the cellular telephone. 2:35. I still had thirty minutes.

“Picking (Y/N) up at the airport,” I said, my tongue between my teeth as pull on a shirt. “I lost a bet, so I had to chauffeur her to and from her flight.” I laughed, face hot from remembering her smile. Oh, (Y/N) was adorable. Like my little sister. And I didn’t have to actually chauffeur her; I just wanted to. But Bryleigh wouldn’t have let me.

“Wait; the trip she went on that you funded for her birthday? You spoil her, Loki,” she says, voice riddled with distaste. She sat up in bed. I rolled my eyes.

“Bryleigh, she’s going to be my best woman.” I pulled on my shoe and grabbed my keys on the nightstand. “You better get used to the godmother of your children being around my house.” Bryleigh gaped, looking at me with an offense with an origin I couldn’t place.

“What?” I ask.

“Since when is that bi—” I cut her off, giving her a glare. Good feeling gone. I truly adored my fiancée, but I simply could not stand it when she picked on (Y/N). Especially when she did that.

“Biiiiii-eautiful woman I have adopted as my sister,” I say, narrowing my eyes. “I’m sick of you acting like a jerk to her.”

Bryleigh flopped back down. I kissed her forehead goodbye. “If you loved me, Loki, you’d see she's just evil!” She smiled softly and tiredly. I rolled my eyes.

“Evil? That is a new one,” I comment, kissing her and rushing out the door. Before our bedroom door closed, I heard her scoff. Something in me stirred, both at the thought of Bryleigh making nasty statements about (Y/N), and (Y/N) herself.

-----skip-----

“Flight from [Place you've wanted to visit] now unloading at Platform 9.”

The PA announcements seemed to fly by since the time I got there, but that one I paid attention to. I was almost eager to find her. I was speeding past every person I passed, even doing 360s to see if I could locate her. Her smile, her hands, ruffling her hair.

I passed through crowds, hearing the TSA yelling at someone, kids crying—or was it the other way around?— and twisting and weaving through people to Platform 9. “Where could she be?” I whisper to myself.

Something about all this turning reminded me about going to the Forest of Ydraggsil. But without all the fright; just really confusing and overwhelming and something missing. I didn’t mind. My heart was pounding with excitement. (Y/N) would be in this building somewhere.

“Loki!” I heard her call. I got reminded of my dream, but it didn’t scare me as much as it should have.

I whipped around, beaming when I saw her. She had a rolling suitcase and messy hair; she must have fallen asleep on the plane. I ran to her, lifting her up. She dropped her suitcase as I held her. I spun her with glee.

“You missed me that much, Loki?” She wrapped her arms around my neck, standing closely when I set her down. It was probably because my arms were still around her. (Y/N)’s hands rested within my elbows as she unwrapped her arms.

“Of course, I missed you. Who do you take me for?” I laughed softly, my head spinning slightly as I realized just how tired I was. I also realized that I didn’t care. About anything.

I didn’t care about how mad I had made Bryleigh. I didn’t care about the time. I just wanted. . . .

Oh, no.

But I just couldn’t stop smiling. (Y/N) was the only thing I could see. I was here, with her, no where else.

“I kinda took you for a stubborn prince,” she joked, hands moving again to my shoulders. “You know, the kind that didn’t pick favorites without doing it so subtly, and throwing knives, and doing favors reluctantly. Not picking up your secretary because she asked you to at three in the morning and taking you away from your fiancée.”

“I don’t care what she thinks,” I blurt. She blushed, and so did I. But I stupidly kept going. “I don't want to marry her.”

She stepped out of my arms. “Loki, what are you talking about?” I grew idiotically confident, taking her hands. “Loki?”

“I was such a fool,” I laugh, looking at her. I press the heel of my hand to my forehead. “I’m not in love with her.”

It was all clicking into place, now. The constant dreams of looking for her. The wedding dreams, too, with her in white. It wasn’t just paranoia. And all the times I would feel that awful knot in my gut when she spoke of other men. I gaze into her eyes.

“It’s you.”

She shook her head, “Loki, I — I can’t just—”

“(Y/N) you can’t pretend that you don’t feel this,” I continue. I bring her luggage out with her. “Actually, it all makes sense now.” But as much as I’m grinning, she’s only standing in shock.

“Darling?”

Your POV

Okay. Seeing Loki was already amazing. But now you were sure that one of you had gone crazy, or that you were dreaming.

“What? Loki, you can’t just say things like that!” You felt your face heat up at the delirious Loki’s practically random confession. Your hands and legs were shaking. Yes, you loved him, too, but what about Bryleigh? They had sent wedding invitations already!

“Why not? Better now than in a month, (Y/N),” he said. He opened the door for you. You got in his car. He definitely looked crazed, loopy. But he was happy.

You study him for a second, a thought coming to light almost immediately. He seemed carefree, distracted. He revved up the engine and grinned at you. You knew exactly what he seemed like to you, now that you thought on it.

He was like a bachelor.

“You didn’t!” you gasp. “You didn’t break up with her, did you?!”

“No, but I will. Even if you decide you don’t want me as a friend or a romantic partner. The only person who I can imagine marrying would be you.” He laughs, driving you to your house. You gape at Loki. He really had gone mad.

Not only was he head over heels with you out of the blue, he thought he would marry you. Or, at least he wanted to. Your heart sank.

It all made sense now.

“Loki,” you say quietly. “I’m seeing Steve. From economics.” You ducked your head. He loved you. And you couldn’t see him as anything more than a friend, or a brother. You fiddled with your shirt’s hem.

Loki frowned some, but quickly regained his smile. Except it was fake. You could tell so easily. You shifted in the passenger seat, watching cars pass by. “Oh,” he whispers. “I understand.” You hated this, but you really preferred not to lie.

“I’m so sorry, Loki,” you mumbled. You hugged yourself. You wanted him happy, but you couldn’t be with him. It was the worst kind of lie. “We became an item about three weeks back but I asked him to keep quiet about it. I didn't want to cause any gossip.”

Loki nodded. “No, I totally understand. . . . I was meant to be alone. It’s fate.” His bottom lip quivered. You felt your heart break for your best friend. Then you wondered if he had been dreaming again. He had nightmares that Bryleigh made worse, and you were the only one he could tell them about. Really tell. You felt warm inside. He really was in love with you. 

“Loki—,” you try.

“My immortal life was just . . . the worst. Now my mortal one is mirroring it,” he sighs. He gripped the wheel. Tightly. You saw his knuckles turn paper white. “I became cursed by the Norns. I made a mistake.”

“Loki, please, I am sure that you will find someone who will love you,” you try. You felt something in the back of your head tell you that this was a mistake, letting him go. But it was fate. You knew it. Loki was someone you felt for in the past. Never again.

“You know who I want,” he says. “This time, I won’t settle for something lesser.” He stared at the road. “I’m not getting any younger.”

Something lesser?

“Loki, really,” you sigh, “I’m not fantastic.”

“Steve sure thinks you are.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

You growl, “That's low, even for you.” Loki doesn’t answer, just scoffing quietly.

You huff and cross your arms. Fiddle with the seat belt. “Just marry Bryleigh, okay? What do I care!” That came out harsher than you meant. Oops.

Loki pulled the car over so roughly you almost hit your head on the window. “Excuse me?” He turned to you. “What did you mean by that?” You felt your heart speed, but you had already turned him down.

“Just—take—me—home,” you say through gritted teeth.

“Tell me what that was about,” he protested. Loki rested his arm on the middle compartment, making you face him. Now you wanted to get mad at him and yourself. But he wasn’t your life, and he wasn’t ever going to be yours.

So who cared?

“It meant nothing,” you lie. “Nothing at all.” You shift in your seat, again. Look away from him. All the feelings you used to feel came rushing back, but without the affection they used to hold. You felt bitter about loving him before. A man who was engaged to be married. Now he could feel it, too. 

“Oh, sure. You never told me you didn’t want me married, (Y/N).” He had flipped a switch. He went from giddy to hurt within seconds. But saying something as sudden and intimate as “I don’t want you to get married but I’m seeing someone else” would have to hurt anyone.

“Because at least you were happy, Loki!”

“I wasn’t, you knew that!”

“I don’t want to fight about your witch fiancée,” you grumble. “Take me home, Loki. I’ll resign in the morning.” You sit back, watching through the window the rest of the ride. This would need to be solved, but in what way, you didn’t know.

------------(:V)------------

You stepped out into a clearing. You saw Loki dressed in his armor—something he hadn’t worn since New York. Green smoke billowed around your feet. You couldn’t move anything, no matter how much you tried to run and help him. He was screaming about being sorry, apologizing to whomever was laughing and telling him he’d never know love.

You couldn’t scream. Couldn’t get him. You wanted him.

“Please, I just want someone—!” He was cut off by his own cry of fright. He fell to the ground. You hated feeling so helpless. No. No, you needed to help him. The smoke surrounding the both of you covered Loki, and then—

You sat up, horrified. You were going to be late. Loki would—

Loki. Right. You had fought with him the night before. He probably wouldn’t want to see you. . . . Unless that was a dream. Again. You sigh. No matter what you had told him last night, you weren’t seeing Steve. And you were in love with him.

You picked up the phone. There was only really one thing to do.

“Hello?” he answered tiredly. He sounded like someone who had been crying, or losing significant amounts of sleep. He also had a tone of worry in his voice. You felt your heart skip.

“I love you,” you say. You were rushing to get the wires out. “I don’t want you to marry Bryleigh. I’m sorry for everything I told you last night and I don’t care if you remember none of it; you deserve to know. I’m in love with you, I always have been, Bryleigh is and always was someone who was just so much better than I am, and even though I think you two can be happy together, I want you to myself!”

Just before you hang up from fear of his long silence, he says, “Wait, wait. You said you were seeing Steve. . . . I’m so confused. . . . Bryleigh walked out last night, calling the wedding off, anyway. I’m not getting married.”

You sat there for a minute. “What? Why?”

“Apparently I spent more time talking about you than she liked,” he explained. “But I’m not sure if I should anymore?”

“No. No, Loki, that’s great. I mean—it’s not great, but you didn’t have to break up with her. . . . I just . . . spent so long thinking about what you said. You were right: it is fate.”

He sniffs on the other end. “You picked a fantastic time to tell me, (Y/N).” He laughed. “For the record: I think you’re right. It is fate.”

[loki-hargreeves]

Hela is Loki’s birth mother THEORY

Alright, my theory begins with Hela’s story. She says herself that they were going to take over the nine realms, revealing that she was power-hungry. She was raised to be that way. 

Then all of a sudden, Odin “ashamed of how he got it” wanted to stop. He wanted to be a good king. Hela didn’t want to accept that. Instead of being banished right off the bat, I think Hela tried to come up with her own plan to continue the reign of power, with or without Odin.

Which is how she met Laufey.

Laufey, who was sick and tired of Odin and Asgard in general. When Hela, Odin’s daughter came to meet him, he was interested to hear her out. I believe that Hela proposed a suggestion that they would work together. Together Hela and Laufey could bring Jotunheim back to its glory and they could eventually take over the other realms.

Odin didn’t know anything about this. Laufey made a fake peace treaty with Odin, as Hela says in her story.

During this time, they fell in love. Hela got pregnant with Loki. Obviously she couldn’t hide that from anyone. She joined Laufey’s side fulltime and finally betrayed Odin. I think Odin tried to stop her which led to a battle. It was the battle in which Hela killed a lot of Asgardian soldiers. She got away with it and fled to Jotunheim.

She had Loki at some point. Laufey and Hela decided to leave Loki on Jotunheim as they travelled to Midgard/Earth, Tønsberg Norway to be exact. They were going to begin their conquest there.

It’s the beginning of Thor 1;

(I think it looked more like this tbh)

During that battle, Odin didn’t only win over Jotunheim. He banished Hela.

I think he banished Hela in tonsberg, because it’s the same place where Hela comes back. It’s where Odin went to die. To a place where he could think about his past. He felt tied to Tonsberg because it’s where he lost his daughter.

Anyway, back to when Loki was a baby.

Odin knew Hela had been pregnant. He also knew that Hela had teamed up with the Frost giants. He knew that Hela’s child was on Jotunheim. As Loki’s GRANDfather, Odin wanted Loki back. He missed Hela so Loki was the closest thign to her that he could have.

Knowing that Odin is a d*ck, he also kept in mind that Loki could be used to “unite the kingdoms one day” yadda yadda yadda. 

Also keep in mind that Loki was “small for a giant’s offspring” it’s ebcause he’s half Asgardian. Loki had Asgardian traits because of Hela. He’s powerful because of Hela. Also they look so much alike. 

Why else would Odin, someone who was knee-deep in Jotun blood, take in a random ass baby? Wouldn’t the Frostgiants’ casket be enough?

That’s why when Loki confronted Odin back in THor 1, Odin was so upset. Not only did his “son” find out he was adopted, but the confrontation reminded Odin so much of Hela. A daughter no one had talekd about for over a thousand years. It must’ve been hard for the old king. 

He only gave Loki half the truth.

(This is from the official Thor 1 script, not the movie)

Loki: You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?

Odin: You are my son, my blood.  I wanted only to protect you from the truth.

Look Odin, I don’t know if you knew this but if you snatch a random baby, it won’t have your blood

UNLESS

Loki truly has Odin’s blood. Not as his son, but as his grandson.

The truth he wanted to protect Loki from was Hela. Not Jotunheim, not Laufey or anything like that. It was Hela. How could Odin have told Loki about Hela when no one even remembered her/knew of her? It was Odin’s greatest secret! Then of course, before Odin could say another word, he fell into Odinsleep. 

Now, let’s talk about Laufey, shall we?

In Thor 1 when Thor, Loki, Sif and the warriors three go to Jotunheim, Thor wonders how they got into Asgard.

Thor: How did your people get into Asgard?

Laufey: *stares directly at Loki* Odin’s house is full of traitors.

Note: not a traitor, traitorS

Sure, he refers to the fact Loki told them how to get in there. But since Laufey said it in plurals, it would only make sense he’s also talking about Hela. Hela, who also belongs to Odin’s house. Who also betrayed Odin. The traitors Laufey talked about were Loki AND Hela.

Laufey: (to Thor) “You do not know what your actions will unleash.....I do”

Look at how sad he is. How he clearly thinks back to something that hurt him as he says that. 

According to Odin, Laufey abandoned Loki, left him to die. But what I see here is a father who lost something dear to him. Not only did Laufey lose Hela, he lost Loki too. And it seems to me Laufey didn’t abandon Loki. This theory is strengthened when Laufey says this about Odin “Your father is a murderer and a thief!” Yes, Odin stole the casket but he also stole/kidnapped Loki.

The entire scene in which Loki offers Laufey a deal reminds Laufey so much of Hela. How over a thousand years ago she was the one in Loki’s shoes, offering Laufey a chance very much like Loki’s. It’s why he’s genuinely so interested in it. I also think Laufey wanted his son back, one way or another and that this deal would bring them closer to each other. Laufey didn’t know how to suspect Loki because he was a father who wanted to get to know his son. It was a one time opportunity he simply couldn’t let go of. (+ he would get the casket as well so it’s a win-win situation).

One last thing,

just look at them

Also in this scene when Loki throws a dagger at Hela, Hela catches it. Instead of throwing it back at Loki and killing him, she throws it back and sends Loki away. She has no interest nor passion whatsoever in fighting Loki. She doesn’t want to kill him, she didn’t even want to INJURE HIM. Because he’s her son.

Instead, she goes right to Thor, her brother whom she was replaced by. She has motivation to fight Thor, but no motivation to fight her son, right? After all, Loki has done nothing bad to her. She loves him deep down, I’m sure.

When Hela was in Odin’s vault, she saw the frost giants’ casket and she called it weak. OBVIOUSLY, she has experience with it. She put her trust in Jotunheim and still lost to Odin. That’s why she called it weak.

Loki and Hela also share a common interest, the tesseract

IN NORSE MYTHOLOGY Loki is Hela’s father. Loki is also Thor’s uncle. But if this theory would be true, Thor would be Loki’s uncle, Hela would be Loki’s mother. The roles are reversed from mythology.

Bonus:

In Norse mythology, Odin sacrificed his eye to gain wisdom. But this was never mentioned in the comics. In fact, it was shown that he lost his eye during the very same battle in which I believe he banished Hela. The battle which led him to take Loki.

What if Hela was the one to make Odin one-eyed?

And when Hela first saw Thor, this is what happened:

Thor: “I’m Thor, son of Odin.”

Hela: “Really? You don’t look like him.”

Later in that same movie, Hela does this to Thor

So if Hela was the one to do that to Odin, it would place her at the scene of the battle, Jotunheim vs Asgard. 

Also, when Hela was by Odin’s side, Odin had two eyes. Odin lost his eye when he took in Loki. Hela was gone before that (presumably banished after she took his eye). So how would Hela, who has been banished for 1000+, know that Odin had one eye if she wasn’t there to witness it? She clearly knew about it because she said that to Thor. I’m convinced Hela was the one who did it to Odin. Like if not, the franchise has a pothole. So it’s almost certain that Hela was in that battle. Case closed.

That’s all for now. Please let me know what you think of this theory 💚

[alirhi]

guys... idefk lol

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 3/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable.

WARNINGS: m/m, in case that wasn't obvious. probably some swearing. I rarely do explicit sex but it might get to that point, depending on if the mood strikes me. If you're under 18, just go away XD Notes: I'm sorry I keep skipping around in the timeline. I'm kinda just letting my brain do whatever the hell it wants right now lol Also, I am aware that the conversation with Thor in the SHIELD camp happened before Loki tried to pick up Mjolnir. Given that it happening the other way around suited my purposes, I've elected to ignore that fact XD

He'd never used his powers for an offensive before. Over a thousand bloody years of life, of training with the most skilled witch in Asgard (his mother, naturally), and he'd never thought to weaponize any of his abilities! Impotent rage was really the most obnoxious feeling. Bucky was trapped, was being forced to kill for the organization he'd fought so hard to take down, and Loki had promised – he'd promised! - to save him, but he couldn't. Not yet.

Thor was an oaf, but he was a warrior. The hothead loved nothing more than conquest. Perhaps the Trickster should start spending time with his brother again. They could hardly stand each other, but there was nothing Loki wouldn't do or endure to rescue Bucky, now that he knew he was alive.

He had time, thankfully. He knew from Bucky's cloudy, fragmented memories that HYDRA froze him between missions to keep him disoriented and compliant. Likely it was also to keep their assassin around longer. He loathed to leave him in their clutches, but he didn't see another option. It wouldn't be much of a rescue nor revenge if Loki's mostly passive abilities only got them both killed. It wasn't easy for a human to kill an Asgardian, but it could be done. Better not to risk it.

So he trained, and he fought, and he accompanied his idiotic brother into every ridiculous skirmish he caused. Every once in a while, if he felt things weren't progressing quickly enough, he caused a little mayhem, himself, just to get Thor's little squad of squabbling dorks to get off their asses and back into action... and to bring Loki along as the voice of reason, of course. It was all taking too long for his liking, years were passing during which he couldn't even imagine the suffering his love was enduring at the hands of his captors, but he was on track.

Until a minor, regularly scheduled scuffle on Jotunheim imploded his reality.

"I-I-I'm the monster parents tell their children of at night?" This... This was why no one loved him? Why Thor looked down on him, why nothing he did could ever make Odin proud, why Heimdall watched him with such suspicion? Did everyone know but him?

He didn't have time for this! The thought snapped him out of his bitter, angry meltdown and he realized that the man he'd looked up to and loved as a father all his life was prone on the steps before him.

"Guards! Guards, come quickly!" Father, don't die! I'm sorry!

He backed down a few steps when the guards came, to let them take the All-Father to the relative safety of his bed. What was he going to do? Odin was unconscious and Thor was banished-

To Midgard.

Of course! Going to visit his exiled brother would give him a pretext to go to Midgard without arousing suspicion. As long as Odin remained unconscious and the Warriors Three focused on the grave injustice of their friend and leader being banished, the only one he really had to worry about was bloody Heimdall.

He glanced back at the casket and sighed. There was too much going on, too much to figure out. Even his thirst for vengeance was beginning to cool. All he wanted in all this confusion and turmoil was his precious Bucky back in his arms. He'd let Bucky know him, more completely and intimately than anyone else in his life. From their first meeting, Loki had hidden nothing from him, and somehow that extraordinary man, who couldn't fathom loving another man that way, had loved him. The briefest of flings, especially to a being who would live for thousands of years, but significant for all that. There was nothing Loki wouldn't do to preserve that love.

But he still had to figure out what the hell was going on with his own life. Good grief. That Jotun couldn't have waited until after Loki saved Bucky to grab his arm and turn his whole world upside down?

Think. Think. Think! Figure this out, you fool!

Odin was incapacitated. Thor was gone. The Jotuns wanted war. Frigga likely wouldn't leave Odin's side, and Thor's absurd friends didn't have the sense to see past his exile. Loki was a Frost Giant, albeit apparently a small, wimpy one.

Bloody hell...

He wanted Bucky. Bucky had a knack for making everything make sense... except for homophobia, but nobody was perfect. Honestly, there was no making sense of that utter nonsense.

Focus, damn it!

To Midgard, then. Perhaps he could wake Bucky up for a moment, as he had last time, and they could talk this problem through. Or perhaps the mindless soldier would find a way to kill him and end his confusion and misery another way.

Oh, don't be dramatic! Get up and do something or he'll die there!

He wasn't entirely sure when he'd sat down, but he didn't bother thinking too deeply on it as he stood and started marching back up the stairs.

I told him not to get killed! Well, I suppose technically he obeyed. He's not dead yet. Damn it, James, why couldn't you just come home with me? Stupid, stubborn, macho, painfully attractive idiot!

Somehow the word 'idiot' jogged his memory, and Loki stopped in his tracks at the landing.

The idiot's bloody hammer!

Of course! Finally, he had the beginnings of a plan! Thor was stripped of his powers and utterly useless – not the biggest change there, really – but Odin had sent the hammer to Midgard with him! Just because Thor couldn't use it didn't mean Loki couldn't. He'd take Mjolnir and use it to wipe HYDRA off the map. It was perfect!

Except he couldn't lift it. Seething, he stared at the thing for a moment, willing it to lift when he pulled. Nothing. It didn't so much as shift. So much for that idea.

Well, he'd might as well go and visit Thor, then. At least taunting him a bit might cheer Loki up. If he had to be miserable and humiliated, at least he could share the pain a little. The Mjolnir plan was rather half-baked, anyway, he had to admit. Perhaps something better would come to him while he stripped his adoptive brother of all hope.

That silly Midgardian saying suddenly made so much sense: Misery loves company.

_____________________________________________________

Next Masterlist

[blankdblank]

My Baby

Loki pacing with ridges around the back of his head and cheeks more prominent unable to be hidden anymore giving off a faint glow in the flashes of lightning showing through the ceiling to floor glass walls of the Stark Tower living room. His free hand gently patting the back of the formerly fussy infant curling up again drifting off to sleep against his chest humming an old Asgardian lullaby he had forgotten he knew still flowing out of him naturally in his back and forth path calming the child who was woken by the storm.

Oc half panicked searching for said infant stopped glaring in sheer exhaustion at the Prince whisper shouting to him, “Loki!! What are you doing?!”

“Shh!”

“You did not just shush-!”

“Shh! Sleeping.” He said with a pointed glare of his own in return to the teammate he had barely spent an hour speaking to collectively outside of missions since his place here even before their pregnancy leave when they were ordered to bed rest in a care center Stark paid for fully to ensure their optimal comfort and relaxation for said baby they intended to have on their own not waiting for the textbook scenario to grow their own family. Though Loki had shown up every day simply to read to himself refusing to leave her alone for anyone or any reason including the labor.

“Loki!”

“Shh! Go to bed!”

“That’s-!” Suddenly a double of him popped up, this one more blue than he was with pink eyes showing his failing ability to control his shielding powers through whatever this was coursing through him. Back to her room she was shown and lifted to be tucked into the bed, “Sleep now, I have the little one.”

“Loki! Why do you have my baby?!”

“The storm woke-,”

“Yes! I heard that part! That’s why I got up to help my baby back to sleep but you’d stolen it!”

“I have stolen nothing, go to sleep. I have promised a trip to the zoo to the little one.”

“What?!” She squeaked out to the door being shut behind the returning double. Growling to herself she rubbed her face and turned over burying her face into her pillow muttering about the irritating Prince.

.

Trip to the zoo ensues with Peter Parker eagerly jumping aboard with Morgan and Stark as well for a family day out. All fully witnessing his doubles stalking circles around the group keeping crowds at bay, carrying bags or souvenirs as Loki kept hold of the baby carrier on his chest the now napping infant inside of it. Cross armed oc walked beside the Prince frequently glaring up at him, “Why do you keep stealing my baby?”

“I have stolen nothing.”

“Then let me carry the sling.”

“You require more rest after your birth. I will carry the little one.” He said with arms easing more across the baby carrier protectively.

“Unbelievable,” she mutters then huffs, “I need a pretzel.” Loki shifted a finger and one of his doubles trotted off in search of a pretzel making Tony smirk biting his lip at the comment he wanted to fire off.

.

Hours later Tony and Peter are sharing about the zoo as Loki is readying a lunch for oc and her baby to Thor who just returned from a mission. The blonde Prince beamed listening to all they shared until Tony said, “If I didn’t know better I’d say he was sweet on OC.”

Loki, “I am merely assisting a single mother with minding her newborn child. That is all.”

Tony, “Is that why you charged new socks, pajamas, blankets and pillows to my credit card to the tune of five grand?”

Thor chuckles, “Looks like you’ve hit your nesting stride Loki.” Wide eyed the raven haired Prince froze before his nesting brain kicked in refusing to let the meal sit and spoil for his racing heart.

Silently he finished the meal then returned to oc’s apartment where he set the meal down on the table and moved to the bed where she was nursing the baby. Her eyes shifting from the infant to his still wide eyed self, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I am not stealing anything. However, I desire to have your baby.”

“What? They’re eating, no running off with them right now.”

“You misunderstand me-,”

“So help me Loki if you snatch my baby away from me-,”

“My body is nesting.” Her brows furrowed looking at his face absolutely perplexed, “I did not intend to, however, I desire to have your baby. Protect it, and you, raise it. One of my Jotun traits I did not anticipate.” Silence filled the room flooded with uncertainty of what was intended to have happen from that admission. Yet when the child was done eating he took hold of it as a double guided her to the table easing her into her seat and fluffing her napkin out on her lap before acting in its new fashion as her waiter ensuring each craving was seen to while he rocked the child nodding off to sleep to another lullaby.

“You’re really just adopting my baby like this?”

“And you,” her brows furrowed in confusion, “That is how it works, for any wishing to threaten you they shall face my wrath.”

“Let me guess, when you get tired of this you’ll just zap off and play dead again?”

That had his brows furrowing in defense, “I am not my father! I will never abandon you, either of you. Or belittle you, or make you feel any less infinite than you are,” he accentuated with a gentle press of his lips to the head just under his chin a tiny fist had stretched to. Rocking from foot to foot his weight shifted for the child, “Unfortunately you are stuck with me.”

“You owe me. I am not sure what yet but you have a debt Princey I will collect at my leisure.”

“Anything you desire,” his nesting brain had him respond while the rest of him wondered what it might be she would require of him for this change to her life he had enforced upon her. She went to nap as her child had, still too stubborn to ever admit that she was still exhausted from the effects of the week in and out of labor before the eventual c section when her vitals seemed to be sinking by the day from the stress of it all. He had never felt so helpless as when he watched her suffering through trying to safely bring this child into the world.

First he thought it might have been that guilt but now in recalling those months he watched the progression of the child inside her belly to the stealing pain he felt when she vanished in the night while he was in a mission. That pain only silenced at his search ending with his place in the chair fixed at her side unwilling to move. There had to be more to this than nesting or every pregnant women he came across would be a harem of sorts claimed by him through his time here. Yet again on his heels he turned and up his eyes shifted mid lullaby where his eyes fell on a picture a double of him had taken, the exhausted mother with her new born child draped across her chest deliriously smiling as Loki’s hands were fixed on her arm using every bit of magic to help along her healing from the ordeal.

It was in his eyes, the determination and fear of losing her that struck him the hardest, to the weight of tears pooling into his eyes remembering himself in that helpless moment again. Inhaling deeply to the fussing of the baby his head tilted back to blink those tears away to calm down enough to begin humming again. Not three minutes later the child was deep asleep again and he strolled into the room leaving a simple note by her bed. Her dream vacation to Greece was about to come true, and he would be certain to do all he could to ensure the woman he now was terrifyingly certain he had subtly fallen for through skirmishes and shared silences comfortably lounging about in the absence of others could possibly find they might be able to tolerate a foolish Prince who very well should have known long before now what his body had been trying to tell him all along.

He couldn’t and wouldn’t let them go, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt to have her wishing he wouldn’t ever leave. The pain was evident in the comment on his growing bored, he had a child now, and one day maybe a wife if he was to succeed. He would never leave, never. And there would be a planet of bloodied stacked bodies of anyone dared to try. Shimmering again today a little more blue he returned to humming takin the child on a stroll through this floor unwilling to put it down just yet, planning all that was to come, and all that there could be for the new family of three.

 All –

@himoverflowers​​, @theincaprincess​​, @aspiringtranslator​​, @sweeticedtea​​, @thegreyberet​​, @patanghill17​​, @jesgisborne​​, @curvestrology​​, @alishlieb​​, @jogregor​​, @armitageadoration​​, @fizzyxcustard​​, @here2have-fun​, @lilith15000​​, @marvels-ghost​​, @catthefearless​​, @imjusthereforthereads​​, @c-s-stars​​, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​​, @mariannetora​​, @shes-a-killer-kween​, @ggbbhehe4455

X Loki - @pastelhexmaniac​

X Marvel-Cast - @himoverflowers​, @theincaprincess, @changlingkhat​

[anonwriter27]

Trust in Me Ch13

Here’s the latest chapter! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas :) 

Thor had every reason to be worried.

 He knew his brother would not die, not while his quick wit was still around. However, Thor knew what would become of Loki should he grow weak. During Loki’s interrogation on Asgard, Odin put him through countless trials, testing his strength and stealth; as Loki grew weaker, his heritage began to show. Glimmers of blue could be found in the cracks of his constructed, composed appearance.

 Thor had shared the information about Loki’s heritage with Bruce, purely for medical reasons. Tony had often queried why Loki appeared cold on Friday’s scans, but Thor always shook off the questions.

 But now, as Thor watched over his brother’s sleeping form, he could see the signature Jotun etchings making themselves visible on Loki’s skin.

 Once the team arrived back at the tower Loki was rushed straight to the medical wing. Bruce had summarised that while Loki had lost a lot of blood, it was not enough to kill a God. Loki would just be weakened for a few days, maybe a week.

 The team left Loki to rest, Natasha and Steve were suspicious of Loki’s altering appearance but the concerned look on Thor’s face kept them quiet.

 Thor was left alone to sit with his brother.

 “I’m not sure if you can hear me brother. But you’ve always said that my voice is so loud, it would disturb those resting in Valhalla.” Thor chuckled.

 Thor watched as his brother slowly turned a darker shade of azure. “I know how you get when confronted with your past. But you have made such progress brother, do not let this put you back in your shell.”

 Thor had watched his brother flourish in recent weeks. Loki had become comfortable enough to take part in group discussions. He had willingly made friends, taken part in group activities, he was even smitten with a beautiful young woman. But when confronted with the truth of his birth, Loki became scared. Like a wild animal backed into a corner, Loki felt the judgemental gaze of those around him; surrounding and suffocating him, and when backed into a corner Loki always fought his way out.

 Whether it be with knives or words dripping in venom, Loki could strike the most damning of blows. That was what Thor feared, he worried his brother would lash out at the wrong person.

 Thor held Loki’s hand, knowing the trickster would never allow him to do so when conscious, praying that the worst would not come.

     Y/N was worried sick when Nat told her what had happened. She rushed past the team, ignoring the knowing glance from some, and the confused looks of few. Before she could knock on the door, it swung open to reveal Thor.

 “I heard panicked footsteps, I assumed it was you.” Thor explained upon seeing her startled.

 Y/N reached up on the tip of her toes to try and look past Thor’s large frame, “How is he? Can I see him?” She asked.

 Thor closed the door behind him, keeping himself and Y/N in the corridor outside Loki’s room.

 Y/N looked up confused, “Thor?”

 “Would you sit with me a moment?” Thor said, gesturing to the small seating area a little way down the hall.

 Y/N nodded, growing more and more panicked by the second. Nat had told her Loki would be okay, but what if that had changed? What if there was something that Bruce had missed in his examination? Why did Thor look so worried?

 Thor took a deep breath and began, “What do you know of Loki’s heritage?”

 Y/N thought back, “Umm, I know he’s adopted… I remember the name Laufey from the reports during the incident in New York. I assume he’s a relative…?”

 Thor nodded, “Laufey is Loki’s birth-father. He was also king of the Jotunheim before Loki killed him.”

 Y/N nodded slowly, “He killed his father?” she asked quietly.

 “It’s quite complicated. You see, Loki and I had always been raised to think of the Jotuns as the enemy. We were told stories of their monstrous deeds when we were children.”

 “I see…but what does that…” Y/N began.

 “The Jotun’s have distinctive features, characteristics that Odin demonised. Loki has disguised his Jotun appearance for many years now; but when he’s hurt or weak it begins to show.” Thor explained.

 Y/N didn’t question Thor any further and decided she needed to see Loki to understand what was going on. She made her way to his room and slowly opened the door.

 What greeted Y/N was surprising but not shocking. She walked over to his bedside and took a good look at him.

 He looked beautiful. Loki was always handsome, even when he first woke up dishevelled and disorientated. But this was another type of beauty; his skin was a beautiful shade of blue, like a thin layer of ice over a clear lake. His skin was marked with intricate patterns, they seemed tribal yet elegant. It would appear that in any from Loki looked regal, a born prince.

 She reached out to hold his hand, slightly startled by how cold he was. She looked to Thor for explanation.

 “Jotun’s run much colder than we do.” He offered.

 Y/N thought back to the countless times Loki had felt cold under her touch, why had she never questioned it?

 “This form of his,” she started, “how does Loki feel about this?”

 Thor sighed, “I’m afraid Loki has never accepted his heritage. He will be embarrassed having been seen in this form. So I beg you, if you are frightened then…”

 “Frightened?” She interrupted, “Why would he frighten me?”

 The innocence of her question and the confusion in her eyes put Thor at ease. Thor could relax knowing she wouldn’t run away from his brother. Thor had wrongly judged the Tatum girl, he could see that now.

 They sat by Loki’s bedside for the rest of the night, waiting for the prince to wake up. It was only when Loki’s skin returned to its usual appearance, signalling his growing strength, that Y/N allowed herself to sleep.

     Loki woke up early the next morning, he felt groggy, but the sight of the tower’s walls relaxed him. He was certain he would never admit that out loud.

 He looked to his left and saw his brother, back against the wall, head tilted back and snoring. Loki could not help but smirk, knowing his brother would lose a fair few admirer if they saw him in this state.

 Loki then glanced to his right and smiled instantly. There sat his little companion, wrapped in her blanket, and curled up into an uncomfortable looking ball. Her book on Norse mythology lay half open on the armrest.

 As if sensing his presence, she began to stir. Upon seeing his smiling face, she leapt up from her seat and sat on the edge of his bed.

 “Thank goodness you’re awake.” She fussed over him, stroking the hair away from his eyes.

 He chuckled, “I was perfectly fine. The only thing wounded was my pride.”

 Y/N curved her brow knowingly, “And your shoulder.”

 Loki conceded, “Yes, my shoulder. But I came back.”

 She giggled softly, “Yes you did. You kept your promise.” She leant in to give him a gentle kiss on the lips.

 Loki lifted his right arm to hold her in place before she could move away. “I’m not made of glass darling, kiss me properly.”

 “Your brother is sleeping right over there.” She whispered, her attempts at wriggling away becoming futile.

 “Brother you’re awake!” Thor boomed.

 Loki rolled his eyes, “Speak of the devil.”

 The three of you sat together for some time, Thor boasting about Loki’s heroics on the battlefield. Loki never particularly enjoyed basking in the afterglow of battle quite like his brother, but the proud look in Y/N’s eyes made him feel good. Dare he say it, he felt like a hero.

 “You looked so frail brother; I feared your wounds were far worse. But like always you survived!”

 Loki chuckled along with them, though his mind chose to focus on his brother’s chosen word, frail.

 “But look at you, back to your usual mischievous self. We can add this to the list of stories we have Loki…”

 “Back?” Loki interrupted, “Back to my usual self? What does that mean?”

 Thor looked like a deer caught in headlights, “Well I just meant…”

 “What exactly was I before I returned to my usual mischievous self?” Loki demanded.

 Y/N was uncomfortable with the quick change in atmosphere, but she did not wish to lie to Loki. It’s better he knows now what they saw, rather than find out further down the line.

 “When you were sleeping, you were in your Jotun form.” Y/N admitted.

 Y/N had yet to see Loki angry. She had seen him annoyed or perturbed, but never angry. She feared that was about to change now.

 Loki’s face suddenly went blank, devoid of all emotion; Thor sighed knowing what was to come. His brother concealed his emotions when enraged; then, like the crack of a whip, the pain and aggression would come out in one fell swoop.

 “Leave Thor.” Loki spoke with little emotion.

 “Brother please…” Thor began to plead.

  “Get out!”

 Y/N flinched at Loki’s shout and looked to Thor for guidance on how to handle the situation. But Thor knew better than to question his brother in this state. Instead, Y/N watched Thor’s retreating form, leaving her with her angry God.

 After a minute, maybe two, Loki spoke. “You too.”

 She almost misheard him; he spoke so quietly. “Loki can we not discuss this?”

 “Discuss what?” Loki snapped, “Discuss my monstrous from? Discuss how disgusted you are?”

 Y/N shook her head quickly and reached for his hand, “You could never disgust me Loki. Thor explained the misconception of the Jotuns…”

 Loki rolled his eyes and chuckled darkly, “There are no misconceptions, Thor is foolishly attempting to put you at ease. We are monsters, Y/N, and you’re a fool to think otherwise.”

 His words were beginning to cut her, but she stayed strong, she wouldn’t let him think this way of himself.

 “Loki, I do not believe you’re a monster…” she began, but Loki cut her off.

 “What do you get out of this? Are you hoping to improve your own image?” He sneered, his voice rising as he spoke. “The innocent young maiden who managed to tame a beast, is that what you want them all to think!?”

 “Loki please.” She pleaded, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

 “You’re like the rest of them, craving approval from you’re betters. Get out my sight.” He demanded, ripping his hand out of her grip.

 Y/N felt heartbroken, but she would not anger him even more. She grabbed her book and blanket and quietly left the room. She stood in the hallway, for some time, not entirely sure what to do now. Despite his cruel words, she did not want to leave him. That was when Y/N spotted the chairs she and Thor had previously sat on, just a small distance from the room Loki was resting in.

 So, in a matter of minutes, Y/N grabbed a cushion and some snacks from her apartment. She pushed the two chairs together to form a make-shift bed and she printed out various articles on the Jotunheim.

     Loki had barely moved since Y/N left. Once the door closed behind her, Loki allowed the tears he had been holding back to fall. She had finally seen the monster.

 He knew she would eventually learn of his heritage, but Loki had wanted more time. A few more months, or maybe a year, where she could see him as good. Now it was too late. If his form hadn’t frightened her off, then the cruel words he spoke to her would have scared her away.

 How he regretted those words.

 Loki had spewed out some truly despicable words throughout his life, his aim was always to cut a wound too deep to heal. But he took no enjoyment in speaking to Y/N the way he did, he just felt guilt. How could she ever trust him again?

 Loki had lain in his hospital bed for four days now, ignoring the food that Bruce had brought in for him. His guilt had dulled his appetite. He looked a sorry state when Clint came to see him.

 “I uh, hope I’m not disturbing.” The archer said awkwardly, hesitantly walking into the room.

 Loki raised his brow in surprise, “You’re the last person I expected to visit.”

 Clint looked down, almost ashamedly, “I should have been the first person to visit.”

 Loki’s expression of confusion didn’t alter, “You saved my life out there.” Clint clarified.

 Loki shook his head and sat up in his bed, “I ruined your life. This was a meagre attempt to make up for it.”

 Clint was surprised by the trickster’s honesty, “You’ve been trying. I’ve noticed you helping out around the tower, making friends. I haven’t exactly made your stay here easy.”

 Clint was aware of Loki’s efforts, but his experience with the God had taught him not to give second chances. After the recent mission though, Clint reflected on the many second chances he had given. He had willingly accepted Bucky into the tower, he had all but recruited Wanda himself. Hell, his greatest friendship was born from him giving a young Russian spy a second chance.

 “Your feelings about me are justified.” Loki offered.

 Clint would not accept that, “Perhaps we should start from scratch.”

 They both nodded in acceptance, happy to continue on a clean slate.

 “So, you turn blue… is that like some Avatar shit? You haven’t got a tail, have you?” Clint asked.

 Loki’s dark mood returned, “I am unfamiliar with this ‘Avatar,’ but it is not something I wish to discuss.

 Clint nodded in understanding, “Is that why she’s sat out there?”

 Loki looked up at the archer, confused but hopeful, “She?”

 “Y/N. She’s set up camp outside the room, she’s been there for three days now” Clint clarified.

 Loki didn’t know what to say. Had she really waited for him?

 Clint sensed that Loki needed some privacy, “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t leave her out there too long, okay? She looks sadder by the day.”

 Clint left Loki to his thoughts. The God couldn’t understand why you would stay; he had been cruel and irrational, he didn’t deserve your concern.

 Curiosity got the better of Loki, he jumped out of bed and walked quietly to the door. The window in the corridor presented him with the night sky. Under the faint lights of the hallway, Loki found her. She was sleeping in a position that can’t have been comfortable, her hair was slightly dishevelled, and her blanket had the remnants of empty food wrappers. Had she not eaten properly in three days?

 On the floor next to her lay what appeared to be paperwork; Loki knelt to pick up the discarded papers. They were articles on the Jotunheim, many of them discussing ancient traditions, others analysing the anatomy and appearance.

 Loki could have cried at her concern, she truly wasn’t scared of him; in fact, she wanted to know more about him.

 Loki had been a damned fool. He rested his head on her lap and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

 With the weight of his head on her lap, Y/N stirred awake.

 “Loki! What are you doing out of bed?” She asked, combing her fingers through his hair.

 When he looked up, he saw nothing but concern in those delicate features.

 “Please forgive me. Those words… I didn’t mean them, please.” Loki rambled, choking back a sob.

 She silenced him with a gentle kiss to his forehead, “It’s okay.”

 Loki shook his head, he had received too much forgiveness in one day, he didn’t feel he deserved any of it. “It’s not okay. You cannot allow me to treat you that way.”

 Y/N moved in her seat and took hold of his hand. “I am not okay with what you said… I won’t deny it hurt. What I mean to say is, I understand where it came from.”

 He took hold of her; his arms wrapped around her tightly, as if this one precious thing in his life could disappear into a puff of smoke.

 “Let’s get you back to bed.” Y/N insisted.

 Loki moved, keeping one arm around her. “Will you stay?” He asked, his eyes looked afraid, worried she may come to her senses and reject him.

 She smiled up at him, “Always.”

 They lay in the hospital bed together. Their pasts would always come back to haunt them every now and then; but the knowledge that they had each other, made those moments more bearable.

[the-wiresmarvelau]

T.H.E. W.I.R.E.S.

Peter and his Friends are allowed to design the compound and couldn’t help but riddle it with secret tunels and hallways. While Peter installs said hallways he makes some new acquaintences who he has to help and gets help from.

Chapter 1, Chapter 3

Chapter 2: Dramatic enterance No. 1

The prisoner took a deep breath, closed his eyes and concentrated.

Concentrated on his knees and legs; tucked away underneath the weight of his torso.

Concentrated on his shoulders; tense and raised up to his ears.

Concentrated on his forehead and nose; laying on the insufferably warm stone floor.

Concentrated on the pain, pulsating in his black left eye and on the ripping, burning agony emanating from his lips, tong and cheeks; sewn together with silver wires and chains; embroidered to look like a wide, cruel silver grin.

"A silver chain to bind a silver tong" Odin had said while watching as the young, terrified guard pulled the wires through Loki’s parted lips.

The young man had shaken all over and rambled on about how stupid it was of him to mention to his peers that he liked to sew, then he wouldn't be punished for ‘enjoying a girl's job’.

All the while the prisoner beneath him glared at the allfather, determined not to cry out in pain and to stay in the present…

Because otherwise his head would bring him back in time to a scene oh so similar to this one.

Only that he hadn't been bound by chains then but by a dwarf, standing on his calf’s and hands, pushing down his shoulders.

The hands sewing his mouth shut hadn't shaken then.

He hammered his head against the floor, with a frustrated grunt.

These memories kept distracting him from the only chance, of preventing to collect more of them.

Loki wanted to scream in frustration but knew it would do more harm than good.

So, he took a couple deep breaths to calm down and began to concentrate again.

He concentrated on the hot stone against his shins and the top of his feet; And on the bruises all over his legs and sides, most of them either strained or compressed by his folded position on the floor.

Concentrated on the heat in the cuts and abrasions on his back. Loki still hadn't figured out when exactly he would be beaten; the periods of peace between the beatings where too irregular to follow a pattern.

Concentrated on his throat and the feeling of dry air grating through it with every breath he took; like sandpaper over chalk.

He concentrated on every fibre of his being looking for the small, tiny bits of magic he held; gathered it in a bundle just below his sternum and - when he felt like he had mustered up almost everything he had left - he began to channel it in a shallow rivulet and pushed it.

Pushed it up his chest, down his right arm into his wrist and from there: past the handcuffs that had until a few days ago, not only suppressed all of his ability to rebuild his own magic, but also kept him separated from his power’s origin and made him numb, blind even, to the magical streams, he knew were all around him.

But the guards had been sloppy.

One of the whip strokes had caught on his handcuffs and carved a small notch in the metal of his restraints. Just big enough to allow his magic to regenerate the tiniest fraction of his original power.

Not powerful enough to heal the numerus wounds Odin’s... "audiences" left behind. But sufficient, to ... say.. Send an illusion to his mother dearest.

Adopted or not, he loved her more than anything and he needed her to know what her husband was really doing to him over the past few years in the dungeons.

She was still under the impression that his punishment was simply isolation and had even send him a few books, which Odin had ripped apart and burned before his very eyes.

But before he could visit Frigga, he needed a plan.

During the time he had magic available again, he had tried to find out more about the Avengers, he had encountered back then on Midgard.

It would be the last place the other Gods would look, as his crimes there were the newest. But that didn’t mean hiding anywhere else was easier.

Additionally: Midgardians were far stricter regarding what did and did not count as a crime; while that might not sound advantageous to his cause, regarding that he had killed several dozen Midgardians. But by treating their prisoner much worse than was agreed upon, his captors violated those morals too. Thus, justifying a relocation.

Since the Avengers called themselves heroes, they probably had the moral compass to see it that way.

But for some reason, they seemed to have splintered and were preoccupied with what seemed to be the aftermath of whatever had divided them.

While he searched for others who might be able to help, the ravenette stumbled over a promising individual.

"Spider-Man" he called himself.

From what he'd gathered, the spider themed hero wasn't an Avenger but he had a close bond to Stark.

Otherwise, Ironman wouldn't've shown up, mere minutes after the aforementioned spider had been stabbed in the side, to bring him to the tower personally.

He also didn't kill any of the criminals he encountered and seemed repelled by it; rather trying to talk them into seeing their wrongdoings and changing their ways.

Additionally, he probably didn’t have a personal reason to dislike Loki; While the Avengers might still hold a grudge against him because of what happened with the Chitauri and the thing on the hellicarrier.

All in all, the spider seemed to be his best chance.

His only chance.

Keeping that in mind Loki focused on creating an illusion of himself on a, more or less random, roof within the young hero’s territory.

Since he wanted to be recognised, he gave the illusion the armour he had worn during the battle of New York, minus all the golden parts.

That way the boy could recognise him from pictures more easily, but he didn't look like he was going in for a fight.

He didn't bother to conceal the glowing that would give away the illusion’s nature. It was best to play his cards open, if he wanted to be trusted.

But he masked his black eye and other injuries.

His goal wasn't pity and his pride kept him from showing such vulnerability to a stranger.

The Jotun was aware though, that he might be forced to reveal his physical state; either as prof for the mistreatment or because changing his appearance drained a bit more magic than simply projecting himself.

And just like that, he waited.

It didn’t take long until he could see the kid swinging around. Loki tried not to turn around as the hero swung by.

Had he seriously not noticed him?

Normally the boy seemed to be automatically drawn to anything odd happening in his vicinity; did an illusion not register?

Giving in to his desire to look around just the tiniest bit, he turned his head a little to the side.

Relief flushed over him as he saw a red silhouette on a nearby roof in his periphery vision.

Spiderman looked at him. That meant that he had noticed the god.

Now he had to hope that their conversation would go well.

“KAREN..? activate ’don’t tell mom Protocol’ please”

‘Are you sure Peter? Whoever that is could mean you harm’ KAREN objected.

The worry in her voice sounded so real that the boy had to remind himself that she wasn’t, in fact, human.

“I’m sure,” he replied; sounding anything but. “If they wanted to hurt me my Spidey-sense would warn me about it”

‘Alright. Just remember that I am calling Mr. Stark the moment they touch you’

Peter couldn’t help but smile a little at how protective she sounded.

He began running over the roofs in the direction of the green shining figure.

They didn’t turn around when the hero arrived on their roof; They just lowered their head and brought their hands to the back, the palms turned up to be visible.

Even though the teenager wasn’t familiar with such behavioural customs, he understood that it was meant to show that they didn’t want to seem threatening and wouldn’t be the one to initiate this conversation.

“Excuse me?..” the younger one started, cringing at how childish he sounded.” Do I know you?”

Great. If he was wrong and this was a stranger, he had just made himself sound like a creep. And even if this was Loki, he couldn’t say that he knew him.

“You might have heard of me” The ravenette answered.

Slowly he dared to turn around; still carefully telegraphing his every move but conscious to make his movement seem graceful and smooth.

“Yeah, one could say that. You’re Mr. Loki, right? Thor’s brother?”

The addressee gave a single nod, taking the chance to bring up his head a bit.

He didn’t like to be personified over his adoptive brother, but rather Thor being the first association than the destruction he had caused while under the influence of Thanos.

“I thought you were grounded, for like.. forever?” the boy asked curiously; tilting his head to the side.

“How fortunate, then that this is only an illusion” Loki replied. He had seen the other one sassing pretty much everyone he had come across and hoped that mirroring that would make him more likable.

Otherwise, he would be screwed, because that was how he was used to speak and to change the way you speak long-term is tiresome.

But there seemed to be no need to.

“That explains so much. But what about the distance! Isn’t Asgard really far away? Or does that not affect illusions? ... Doesn’t matter right now! What is your illusion here for? I assume it`s not just to enjoy the view.”

The Jotun almost bit his lip, before registering that that was not a good idea in his current state.

“I’m here to ask a favour. -Or rather for help.” In that moment he regretted that he hadn’t led into this talk with a prepared speech. Asking for help was difficult.

“For you as in your people? Or you as an individual?” The Spider powered teenager asked, cautiously.

‘And I messed up.’ The Jotun thought ‘Of course he wouldn’t want to help me’

But the Midgardian continued before Loki could answer.

“I’m just asking, cause if it’s something all of you can’t handle, I wouldn’t know what I could do about it. Mr Stark would be a much greater help with that kinda thing.” He was about to continue on but shut himself up.

His teachers hated it when he just rambled on, and the face before him showed too little emotion to figure out if that was the case here, too. Better safe than sorry.

That was not what the trickster had expected.

“It’s not that kind of problem. And I doubt the Ironman would even be willing to hear me out, no matter what I’d have to say.” It was worded as a statement but the prisoner’s raised eyebrow seemed to ask for conformation.

“Yeaah.. You might be right on this one. He tends to hold on to grudges. But we’re working on it! He-..Anyways what can I help you with?” The young heroes body language changed like a boomerang from shy and embarrassed to excitedly proud and back to shy again.

If his conversational partner hadn’t been so utterly exhausted, he would have noticed how often he had cut himself of in this little time alone.

“Right. You see, the whole being .. ‘grounded’ as you described, it.. isn’t actually this. Harmless.”

The shorter tilted his head to the side and the lenses in his mask did a creepily good job at conveying a mix of scepticism and confusion.

“I know this sound unwarranted considering what happened. A-nd I wouldn’t be here if it was only the lifetime in prison that was agreed upon b-but.. It isn’t”

his voice broke and the image flickered, revealing the true appearance of the magician projecting it.

Curled on the ground with dried blood and open wounds covering almost every inch of his back and shoulders.

He had lost concentration a bit as memories and sensations washed over him for a second. Threatening to take over his thinking but he managed to push back.

This was his only chance.

He couldn’t mess up now. Now that somebody seemed to listen.. to care.

When he had gathered himself and looked up, He saw the eyes of the mask before him, wide with shock, and the body beneath it stiff.

Frozen in time.

The prisoner tried to make his image smile.

But it was drenched in dread and sadness. And his body froze; resembling the boy in front of his eyes.

Slowly, the stiffness in Peters body seemed to melt.

A finger twitched.

His arm began to inch upwards, while his shoulders began to sag.

The second arm wrapped itself around his waist, plucking at his suit subconsciously.

And, in a move that surprised even himself, the brunette pulled down his mask. Clutching it in his fist as if his life depended on it.

Peter didn’t care about KAREN`s protests right now.

He needed the god to understand, to know. That he believed him.

The Spidey-sense still hadn’t made an appearance, even though it normally alerted him to anything directly threatening him including his secret identity. *

Like pulling his mask of while people who might tell on him could see.

But he was either too absorb in what was happening or Loki just.. didn’t pose a threat whatsoever.

The god of mischief before him couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

How could a genuine superhero, for which paranoia and distrust seemed to come with the profession, trust him enough to reveal his otherwise hidden identity.

Just like that.

One of his titles literally was god of lies.

“I need somewhere to stay.” He whispered after a few beats of silence “somewhere I can rest.. And serve the rest of my sentence. Without – Odin, finding me.”. He didn’t bother to move his image’s lips.

The spider teen still needed to wrap his head everything while also trying to find a solution for this situation.

“Riiight... Uhm-..there’s uhh. Maybeishould.. no - he wouldn’t” It really didn’t help that to his already frantic thoughts, his super sense started to act up now; Telling him to PUT ON THAT MASK and TURN RIGHT.

He let out an irritated huff before following his instincts.

“Okay. I-I’ll figure that out. D-“

‘If I could remind you who you’re talking to. It may be in your best interest to hand over those matters to SHIELD or Mr. Stark.” KAREN chimed in.

“Not right now KAREN, I’ve got this. Mr. Loki, do you know how to get here? Because I have no idea how to get to Asgard let alone free you. Finding a hideout should be easier.”

His answer was a nod and after a beat of silence: “I should be able to contact . my mother in a few days. If I am correct she does not know of my treatment and will bring me here.”

Loki had carefully observed the Midgardian’s behaviour. Something to his right must have distracted him, for he turned his head that way before putting on his mask again. But there hadn’t been any movement nor was there anything attention-grabbing; just the roof and more buildings.

And then he started talking while scanning the street to their left with his eyes, only to stop in the middle of a word for several seconds and dismiss something his illusion’s ears couldn’t perceive.

For anybody else that would be a clear sign of hallucination, or worse; But he knew that this mortal before him had his own set of special skills and since Stark always seemed to talk to a somebody in his suit it wouldn’t be impossible that Spiderman’s suit was sentient too.

It wouldn’t be too farfetched to say the boy had his reasons.

“And what if she won’t?” the teen’s voice was small and just this side of trembling.

A few seconds went by in which the older of the two just stared at the younger in front of him.

His vision was unable to focus on the figure; But his mind...

His mind couldn’t seem to hang on to anything but the small frame in front of him.

On the hunch in the narrow shoulders; the tilt of his head, down and a bit to the side. On those slim hands and fingers who couldn’t seem to stop plucking on the black web covering the suit. On the fear in his voice and the knowledge that not once over the course of this talk did either of them lie. And not once did the hero lose a single bad word about him.

It took him a few second to gather his bearings.

By the time he was able to concentrate again, he had sat up, kneeling on the ground.

The body in front of him mirrored his position. Heavily suggesting that his illusion had yet again slipped to resemble reality.

He didn’t bother altering his appearance again. Instead, he tried to listen.

What first sounded like a murmured stream of incoherent rambling soon cleared up to be cautious, soft-spoken reassurances.

Things like ‘it’s gonna be okay’ ‘I’ll get you out of there’ and a lot of ‘safety awaits’.

Again.

Not once did he lie. Not once did he use present tense and not a single sentence invalidated the hurt he felt in that moment; like all the typical, sweet nothings people normally said would have done.

It broke the ice giant’s heart. To realise that this young, naïve mortal knew enough about pain and panic-attacks to be aware of such details.

“It’s alright. I’ve got it together again” He said and briefly masked his illusions mouth with a smile.

He got a nod in return.

“Does she need my name to find me? Or should I set up some sort of signal?” the boy asked. Trying to get the conversation on a more positive note again.

After all.

The God’s appearance had pretty much answered his question.

“I doubt she will miss someone running around in bright red spandex. I didn’t see that many people doing it.” He joked.

The teen knew this reaction all too well. Humour to distract from whatever it is you don’t wanna think about.

He would let it slide this once.

“But I’m not in my suit all the time!! What if something happens and she has to find me during the day?! Or I’m not allowed to go out that night?”

‘Right.’ The Jotun thought. ‘Midgardians keep their young under close surveillance much longer than we do.’

“I could show her an image of you.” He answered. “She will inform you of when and where she can hand me over.”

While saying that he had closed his eyes. Exhaustion clear on his face.

“Yeah! Sure. Gather your strength. I will prepare something for you.”

“I can’t thank you enough” were the last word he heard from the god, before the apparition disappeared, letting Peter alone on the roof.

Alone with his thoughts.

Down the street to his left stood a woman in a window, holding a camera.

She hadn’t managed to get a shot of the vigilante’s face. Or see it for that matter.

But she knew he had taken his mask of. Revealing his face to a green shining figure, strangely resembling the Norse god of mischief.

‘well done Jones.’ She thought ‘this might just become useful in the future.’

*I took this from the comics. In those Peters spider sense alerts him to anything threatening his interests, even bluffs while playing poker or reporters and cameras during identity compromising situations.

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

[tokoyamisstuff]

Dark Side Of The Moon Ch. 2 - Dark! Loki x Reader

Chapter 2: “On The Run”

Chapter Summary: Even though you can’t help feeling drawn to the lunatic that looks like your deceased lover, you try to surpress your feelings and flee to find your friends.

Warnings: Loki is fucking crazy, Violence, Torture, Jotun! Loki, Mentions of Death, Abuse, Unhealthy Relationship, Mentions of Rape

Words: 3360

[Story Masterlist]

Masterlist to my other works right ->Here<-

“And the shark, it has tears,

And they run down its face.

But the shark lives in the water -

So the teardrops one can’t see.”

- Rammstein - Haifisch

Taglist: @winterglcw​ @commonintrest​ @emmojoy​ @satansbra @just-someone-who-likes-to-write​​

“She died through my hands.”

That sentence replayed over and over in your head, forming a continuous loop as you silently formed those words with your own lips.

“It’s not him!” you called out to yourself, since your reason had seemingly disappeared ever  since you first saw the person that was a perfect copy of the man you once loved.

You were rolling around on the bare floor, shivering as you softly punched your head to not get lost in thought again. The emperor didn’t even have the basic decency to give you any clothes back, only having the Citauri throw you into an old dungeon to keep you prisoner - or whatever he’d plan to do with you.

That man was so different of your Loki.

And the timeline both of you were currently in had exceeded your worst expectations, making you wonder if fate just wanted to torment you.

In this universe, Thanos never even got so far as to collect all of the Infinity Stones. Loki Laufeyson had won the battle of New York and took over this world, then somehow double-crossed and killed the Titan. So right now, he possessed the power of the Tesseract, as well as the Cascet of Ancient Winters. For what reason he kept that Jotun relic was unknown, probably out of nostalgic sentiment you assumed.

Afterwards, the God of Mischief had killed his brother Thor in bad blood, as well as torturing Natasha - the exact way he threatened her back in your world, when he was in his cell. Clint was still his servant, as it seemed. You had seen him when they took you to his cell.

He couldn’t get rid of all the Avengers, however - even though their current location was unknown. They were in hiding for many years now, probably trying to get their hands on the other Infinity Stones. 

Also noticeable was the fact that this universe had neither Hela, nor Captain Marvel - so one good and one bad thing to compensate for each other. Not that they’d be a match for Loki in his current form anyway...

And there was no Dr. Strange on this version of Earth, your last bit hope to escape disappearing as you learned about this fact.

That much was all you had learned by now, mainly through tricking and manipulating some of your guards into giving you information.

All in all, you only knew for sure was that this world’s Loki was a terribly trong, murderous sociopath, intoxicated by power and loneliness.

And you had become the focus of the little emotion left in him.

It was hard trying to surpress all the voices and memory submerging in your mind. So there was nothing left for you except for rolling up into a ball, lying on the cold floor as you prepared to be washed over with sadness and guilt once again.

_____

“Would you help me recieve the greatest honor by becoming mine and mine only, Lady Y/N?”

How could you ever forget this moment?

Back on the Asgardian refugee ship, your Loki had asked you that very question, now popping up in your mind once again.

Every detail was still as bright as daylight, preserved deep into your heart.

You clearly remembered the small, green box he had summoned out of thin air, presenting you a plain but still incredibly beautiful ring. The golden piece of jewlery formed a snake eating itself - a symbol of infinity and wholeness.

It was just his way of being thoughtful.

“I-I prepared this a while go, to be precize...but I never thought of being worthy” he had stammered and you found yourself speechless, admiring that very scene playing in front of your eyes. “A-Anyway, after all that happened, I realized that all moments I spent happy, were when I was with you. I don’t want to lose you again, Y/N! And I feared, well...that it might be too late to ask someday.”

It was most unjust that this most blissful moment would be interrupted by a great rumbling shaking through the whole spaceship - and even before Thor would crash Loki’s proposal, both of you were aware just what kind of danger you would have to face soon:

Thanos.

Your numbers had already been decimated by Ragnarok, all that’s left being some civilian refugees, injured and traumatized. The only ones capable of fighting left were Loki, Thor, Heimdall, you and the Hulk.

Yet all of your struggles were to no avail, only able to watch and scream and bag at the Titan, so he’d at least spare those innocent lives as he mercilessly slaughtered woman and children alike.

“Fucking monster!” Pulling out a gun, your mind went completely blank as you gave it some last, desperate attempt to save or avenge just anyone.

No bullet would even come close enough to pierce his skin, as Ebony Maw would deflect them to hit yourself and people close to you. “I’m not the only one you should see responsible for this outcome” Thanos scoffed.

“What do you mea-” Your voice got swallowed by a pained groan as you saw Loki, kneeling in front of Thanos and revealing the one thing he was after:

The Tesseract.

“You......took it?!?” The only thing managing to escape your throat was a high-pitched yell as Loki’s face contorted in disappointment and regret - just now realizing that he had put you all in danger.

They would’ve never went after you if it wasn’t for him. He had doomed his race, failed you and what was left of his family.

“How could you put us all in danger?! I thought you had changed! You swore it with your life, Loki! That you loved me more than you desired power!”

No answer.

Instead, the god would prepare one of his speeches, directing words of undying fidelity at Thanos and his arms. And even though it was meant to be lies, a play to make the threat feel save, every single word hit your heart like knives.

“How could I ever marry someone like you?!” feeling as if Loki most recent, selfish act was suffocating you, you could only whisper - yet he understood very clearly, the facade dropping in an instant.  “I-I hate you...traitor...”

If only you knew that those would be the last words you’d ever direct at him...

Loki materializes a dagger, desperately trying to make up for his biggest mistake yet, and at least save you, the light of his cursed existence, and the only thing he had ever done in his life full of wrongs.

But Thanos looked right through the charade from the very beginning, using the stones to trap Loki in their hold - and then, grabbing the god’s throat.

“You have what you want, Thanos!” Thor tried to bargain, “There’s even less than half of my race left. Please, just let us go!”

“Oh, I will” he spoke stony, then shifting his attention to the god in his hands. “But first, I’ll do you a favor and erase that disgraceful pest all of you were too weak to take care of.”

As he was struggling for air, gasping uncontrollably as he tried to free his neck from the Giant, Loki’s glare wandered to you - and when your eyes met, both of your hearts skipped a beat.

He smiled. In the face of death, the last thing he wanted you to remember was the good things after all.

And seeing the ring on your finger, how couldn’t he? Loki knew you were about to say yes - and knowing this was more than enough for someone like him.

After all, the God of Mischief was used to happiness being taken away from him as soon as he thought it to be okay to open up to someone.

But you were safe. That’s all that counted for him!

It was like his eyes were telling you “It’s gonna be alright. I’m sorry, Y/N...I love you.”

You don’t remember much after that, having a mental breakdown as you had to watch the love of your life perish - and forever thinking about how you had turned him down just seconds before.

A part of you had died with him back then.

_____

The creaking sound of the cell’s door made you jump from your dream - but the person which entered was one you had never seen before.

A monster.

It’s silhouette very much resembled Loki, yet his skin was painted in a dark shade of blue, with thin linings carved across his whole body. He had fangs and even horns coming out of his temple to add at that.

The beast’s eyes were shining in a threatening red, glistering contrastful in the dark hallway. But the worst were those black irises, absent of any form of compassion - there seemed to be only rage, confusion and hate.

“Fuck!” you screamed, terrified and fearing for your life. Shuffling until your back hit the wall of a corner of the room, you defendingly put your arms in front of yourself. “Go away! Don’t to-ouch me!”

Loki cleared his voice as he put the Casket away, not making any efforts to revert his outer appearance back to ‘normal’. He had admired it on his way to your cell, like he’d do many times a day when he was reminiscing about the day he learned about his heritage...

...and how he had killed Odin, his adoptive father, with that very relic, afterwards clearing the universe of that despiseful race of the Jotunn - making him the last of his kind.

“Oh my” a dark voice finally declared, “Seems like ‘your’ Loki never dared to show you his true form. Pathetic.”

No, that wasn’t completely true. Your lover had at least told you back then. But when did you ever have the time to talk things over and heal, being dragged from one fight to another?!

The Jotunn felt great joy as he towered over you, gleefully watching your naked body cowering to his knees, covered in goosebumps and shaking heavily. Your breath was clearly visible while you tried to cover your shame as best as you could, wary glare never leaving the abomination that was just lurking right in front of you.

“Wha- OUCH!” you hissed as the Frost Giant took ahold of your wrist, monitoring the pain spreading across your face as his touch would frostburn any skin he was touching with ease.

Loki grinned menacingly as he let go off of you, admiring his handywork as the first layer of your skin had already died, crumbling away to reveal your pink flesh.

“Oh, how I missed that” he explained, much to your surprise ripping a piece of his own clothing apart to cover the wound with it. “Your kind is so easily broken. It’s always fascinating to watch.”

“Just kill me already, you freak!”

Well, Loki had in fact spent hours after hours thinking about how to handle you, and yet he couldn’t decide. Obviously he would’ve killed you right away if it was otherwise, but he still had a soft spot for you somewhere deep in his heart, after all.

And it upset him more than he’d ever admit. So he tried to assert his dominance, to ease the feeling of weakness and loss of control.

“I’m only doing you a favor, woman.” The god would touch your cheek, making you flinch away - but this time, it wouldn’t hurt. Never would he dare to scar this most beautiful face!

“The man you loved was just the same as me, yet it seemed he wasn’t completely honest with you. What you are seeing right now is the form of a Frost Giant...the monstrosity you chose to love.”

“L-Loki…”

It was no surprise that he saw tears filling the rim of your eyes - yet out of a whim, you pulled your arms around his neck, tears wetting his robe. He gasped, unable to act in any way as he stiffened in the pose.

That was by far not the reaction he had been expecting - and he surprised you as well. You had thought him to instantly shove you away, beat you agaib or even bite - but he just kneeled there, not daring to make a move.

"Why?” Now his voice was much softer, pained even. “I’m a monster. I hurt you. So why?”

“I’m so sorry” you whimpered, words being interrupted by heavy sobbing. “I try to fight it, I really do. But I just can’t, I-I”

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“How could I be? It’s you, Loki...no matter what you look like.” Eventually, you’d face him again, wiping the tears out of your face when for another moment, you made yourself forget that this was a completely different person. “I was just surprised, that’s all. Letting me see this form out of nowhere...”

“Y/N, I’m not the same as him” he retorted, knowing very well what it’s like to lose oneself in daydreams and illusions to ease the pain of loss. His sight wandered around the room instead of your face, stating “I did horrendous things, dear. Tormented and killed countless. It’s unforgiveable.”

“So did he” you stated, even though you knew those two Loki’s couldn’t be compared. “And you should already know: I feel dead inside, ever since he died.”

“You really loved him, didn’t you?” When you nodded confidently, Loki sighed ashamed, reluctantly touching your wrist again. A warm magic would flow through you, healing the wound in no time. “I wish she had felt the same for me...”

For a while, both of you were plainly sitting in uncomfortable silence, with Loki even lending you his cloak to warm yourself up.

“It’s not him” you told yourself once again. “It’s not him. It’s not him. IT’S NOT HIM!!! That man is dangerous and instable. He can’t be trusted!”

And then, finally, you dared asking, cutting through the thick air:

“What exactly happened to me, in this world?”

Loki’s face contorted in agony, rubbing his face as if in deep pain. “Is this really necessary? I already told you. She died because of me.”

“More details would be nice” you retorted bluntly, not really caring if he was to have a violent outburst again. Curiosity got the better of you at that moment.

The emperor’s voice was low and husky, and just now you realized how damn tired he looked - with dark rings under his eyes, and more pale than you had ever remembered him.

The weight of his sins sure had taken a stroll on that sensitive man.

"I saw the ring” he uttered deeply affected, “That’s something I could only dream of. Thinking about it, I think she never really loved me in the first place. Or maybe she just grew tired of my lies. Understandable, I have to admit...”

“Yes, it was quite the opposite, even” he continued after a long, strained breath of his. “She hated me. Joined the Avengers and tried to kill me, several times. Only years later I learned about the truth: Already far in the past, back on Asgard, she betrayed me. After I fell off the Bifrost, she thought myself dead - and consoled herself by bedding my brother. I had to kill him, I-I-I just had to!”

Loki’s hands were shaking so frantically you could feel it from over there, mad eyes darting over your physique to take in your reaction. “After they finally lost, I took her prisoner. Seven months of trying to make her mine, no matter the methods. Mind-controlling her would not be satisfying. So I tortured her, played games with her sanity, and- I’d rather not speak about how else I violated her.”

“You, wha-” Now you were the one shivering in horrid anticipation, “You raped me...?”

No answer. Instead he just finished this disastrous story.

“One day, I went to her cell like I always did. I hoped once her mind was broken she’d stop struggling to be mine. But she never did. You Y/N’s are quite the fighters, as it seems.”

“Wha- wwhat happened to me...I mean, ‘her’?”

A loud whine escaped his vocal cords as he hit the wall right next to your face, making you suck in a pained breath.

“She used her chains to hang herself. There was nothing I could do. Ever since then I knew I’m cursed to inflict pain on anything I hold dear.”

"D-Don’t give me that self-pitying bullshit” you wanted to shout at his face - but the cramping in your heart as well as the hyperventillation made talking impossible.

How could one do something like that to a person they claimed to love?!

“Go” you whimpered, already shuffling away from him and he could hear anguish and fear drop out of every vocal, and he realized you were having a panic attack. “Please!”

Loki closed his eyes, letting out one last, deep sigh. He knew he owed you that much.

“Very well.”

That whole night, you spent crying and screaming to your hearts avail, unable to process your current situation and newfound knowledge.

So that would be your life from now on? Being hurt mentally and physically, frostburnt and hurt and violated against your will - all while looking at a face that remembered you of happier days?

Never!

Things were just like that evil Loki said: You are a fighter!

And if you couldn’t help that crazy man, you would at least help yourself! The Avengers are still out there, somewhere. You needed to escape and help them!

How could you have been so blind all those years?

Loki - your Loki - would have never wanted to you give up. He’d want you to survive and live your life to it’s fullest, trying to make the best out of everything you’ve got.

Just like he always did. That much you had learned from him.

“I’m sorry, Loki. If I die, I can’t even remember you...I love you…”

Breaking out succeeded faster than you could ever think it would take - because when you’d finally get out of your fetal courl and wandered across the cell, you realized Loki didn’t properly close the heavy steel door back when he rushed away from you.

“It’s not him. There’s no helping that man. I have to find my friends, I-”

Still shocked and scared and traumatized, you didn’t even realize that someone was watching you, not even questioning that the hallways were oddly empty.

You sneaked out of an open window, bare feet feeling the morning dew as you shook away Lokis cloak and ran as fast as your feet could carry you.

There was it - the fence.

No one could tell you what kind of world would await you outside of that property as you swiftly avoided some guards, rushing through the all so beautiful garden.

But as soon as you reached out to climb the railing, you felt someone balling a fist in your hair, harshly holding you back and causing you to stumble and fall.

“I thought you to be different…” an all too familiar voice grumbled. Loki didn’t even want to hear any apology or excuse, kicking your guts so heavily that you had to throw up, cramping on the ground.

“Don’t you dare to run away ever again!” he now yelled furiously, "She tried it too...so damn.many.times…!”

But before you could even respond, he suddenly began to cry uncontrollably. “I thought you would stay. Do you think I like to do this?!”

His voice was laced with grief and regret, yet he kept on forming countless bruises on your body. “Why can’t you fucking love me, hel?!”

You didn’t know how long his violent crying fit lasted, with him weeping as he let off some steam on your helpless self.

There was no trace of the hurt, regretful man left you talked to in your cell earlier. After being finished, having reclaimed a fraction of composure, Loki pressed your face in between his hands, ripping on your mangled body to face him.

“Fate gifted me another chance to possess you, Y/N. And I will form you into a magnificent pet, I promise.”

_______

If you want to get on the taglist (or deleted from lmao) feel free to ask! ♡

Feedback is always appreciated!

[lowkeyassgard]

DAY 3 OF LOKI VS. EARTH: CHINESE FINGER TRAP

Day 3 of the quarantine series and today Loki is pissed off and defeated by a Chinese finger trap.

One shot summary: It’s Loki’s birthday but what will he do when he finds himself stuck and defeated in more ways than one.

Author’s note: I started something called the quarantine series as a way to help others get through this tough time. To join in just write a one shot and tag it with #quarantine series.

Loki never truly celebrated his birthday. Birthdays weren’t a big deal to Asgardians . When you live thousands of years you just don’t see the point of celebrating every year. Loki deemed himself hard to kill; so of course he would be alive another year. He didn’t think much about his birthday or even his age. He just lived his life like there was no end to the mischief.

Loki’s birthday was today and he wanted to spend the day sharpening his knives and greasing his hair. It took a lot of effort to look as good as he always did. Loki also knew that since finding out he was adopted he didn’t care much any type of celebration. What was there to celebrate? A life of lies and deceit?

Thor had informed his brother of his return from Midgard a week prior to Loki’s birthday. Thor had said something about this year being different and wanting to give Loki something. Loki had no clue what his brother would even think of giving him. He loved his brother but giving gifts was out of the ordinary.

Thor was definitely up to something but Loki couldn’t figure out what.

Loki laid in his bed with the black satin sheets draped over him. He wasn’t naked. Fully dressed in his usual green and gold Asgardian clothing. He wasn’t cold. Sweating to be honest. He wasn’t tired. Completely awake. Loki was sulking.

Loki was sulking because even though he said his birthday was no big deal not a single person had come in the search of him. No one to admire him on his day. Yes he has lived for thousands of years and didn’t see the point of celebrating every year but didn’t change the fact that he wanted to be appreciated.

Suddenly there came a knock at the door and Loki saw his brother’s blonde hair followed by his face peek over the edge of the door.

“Brother? Are you sulking? On a fine day like this?”

“No. I am not sulking. I am saving my energy.. for uh events.” Loki groaned out. He had no want for his brother’s cocky attitude. Of course he was sulking. The people of this place did not celebrate him.

“Well I bring a gift.” Thor said and began to walk toward Loki’s bed. Loki sat up and rolled his eyes at his pestering brother.

“What are you waiting for?” Loki said. He just wanted to be left alone to sulk in peace.

Instead of answering him, Thor handed Loki a woven rectangular contraption. Loki was bewildered. This was his gift. His gift of all gifts. He had heard Thor praise this gift for a week for it to be smaller than his finger and uglier than the things he saw in the Asgardian trinket shops.

Loki was confused by the purpose of this contraception. He stuck his index finger in the one end of the contraception just to feel if there was anything hidden. To his disappointment there was not.. He tried to remove his finger to realize that it was stuck. Loki stuck in his other index finger to be able to pul the other end off. Realizing his mistake too late his fingers were completely stuck.

“What kind of joke is this brother?” Loki hissed out.. He pulled and pulled only to find the woven material tighter around his fingers. It was stronger than any material he had ever discovered on Midgard. Why would Thor give this to him as a gift? To imprison him here?

“No joke brother. I’ve heard you say for weeks that there is nothing on Midgard that you couldn’t overcome. How Asgardians are better than Midgardians. Well go ahead. Remove your fingers.”

Loki let out a laugh. He should have known this was another one of Thor’s lessons. Loki didn’t think he was better than humans. He knew he was better. He had powers, knowledge, and experience far past anything their weak feeble minds could comprehend. He could get out of a simple woven contraception like this.

“I’ll be back in an hour. Let’s see what state you’ll be in then.” With that Thor turned and left Loki alone in the room.

For 45 minutes Loki pulled, twisted, and turned his fingers in every direction they could possibly go. He even tried to shape shift into animals just to discover that this treacherous toy was still attached to him

Loki was convinced that if he didn’t get this device off that he would lose his fingers. Who would he be then? Everyone knew that power came from your hands more than anywhere. Without full control of his hands Loki stood no chance against it. He screamed in defeat

He might have lost but he would find a way. He would not let Thor return to see him still in entrapment.

When Thor returned one hour later Loki was happily reading a book in his bed. He licked his index finger to turn the page and smirked at Thor.

“Ahh Brother. You did it! See Midgard is not as bad and stupid as you wish to make it out to be. May I bring you another Midgardian gift to keep your mind churning and ego checked.”

Loki just smiled. He said goodbye and watched as his brother left his room for the last time for who knows how long.

As soon as Thor was gone the glimmer of the illusion faded away. There sat Loki in a state of derangement and anger. His body covered in sweat and his hair sticking to his face. His clothes were drenched with his own perspiration and his room lay in ruins. He had tried everything. Everything but the one way to release a Chinese Finger Trap.

Loki stayed like that for 3 days until one morning he woke up and his servant had entered his room. Upon seeing his state she let out a giggle. She immediately came over and cut the material down the middle. Upon the release of his fingers he used his powers to instantly heal them.

“Push not pull.” Loki’s servant said before leaving him with a tray of food.

Loki sat there humiliated as it hit him by what she meant. All he had to do was push his fingers in to release the tension. All he had to do and yet for three days he suffered.

Oh Jotun. Loki why must you make everything so complicated.

If this made you laugh just stay tuned tomorrow when Loki is pissed off by bouncy balls. :)

[veliseraptor]

it’s that time again, by which I mean ‘the time when I’m going to be on a bus for several hours tomorrow and like using that as writing time, so I’m going to do a 150 words meme because it’s usually good for me’ so - send me up to three numbers and I will write 150 words in that fic

included in this list is my original project because I want to stop being scared of it. there are twelve projects to choose from for this round.

1. Kazem probed his teeth with his tongue to see if any had come loose, though it was perhaps a moot point. The state of his teeth wouldn’t matter much if he was dead. They all seemed to be more or less in place, though, to his relief; foolish vanity, maybe, but then he didn’t have much but his vanity left.

“What do you want me to say,” he ground out. “Am I meant to deny it?”

She snarled. “You could try.” 

“So you can kick me again? No, thank you.” Kazem closed his eyes. “If you are going to kill me, would you mind getting it over with? I don’t have anything to say to you.”  (the ex villain project)

2. “Steve,” he said. “Give me some credit for knowing you, and being able to see when something ails you more than just weariness.”

Steve’s jaw worked. “If Loki won’t-”

“Loki won’t speak to me,” Thor interrupted. “He’s been avoiding me for the past two days. He is very good at it.” 

Steve hesitated, but he shook his head again. “I’m sorry,” he said, and really did sound it. “But it’s not...my place.” He paused, and then said, “don’t,” and then stopped.

“Don’t what?” Thor prompted.

“Don’t...push him too hard,” Steve said, after a few seconds of silence. “He’s not...he’s been through a lot.” Norns, he sounded so miserable. (The Road Not Taken)

3. Lymond stirred to somewhat regrettable consciousness but did not immediately stir, the eyes remaining half-closed. He rallied defenses left in disarray, and his companion, graciously, allowed it.

“Luminibus servabant atque in statione manebant. My Panoptes. Have you found your observation edifying?” (et ipsi sunt jacula)

4. He slid his fingers into my hair then and pulled my head back until my neck hurt and said, “do you know what I am going to do to you now, darling?”

I swallowed and shook my head.

“It is an old piece of magic,” Malkar said, and his voice was like velvet, but velvet with a knife under it or something, and I’d’ve sworn I could feel it all the way down in my bones. “It is called the obligation d’sang. Do you know what that means?”

I shook my head again.

“It is also known as the binding-by-blood,” Malkar said, still in that voice, and he let me go and stood up. “You are my student now, Felix. Do you know what that makes me?” (Pygmalion)

5. “If you don’t want me here, I needn’t stay,” he said sharply. “I only thought to update you on the state of affairs-”

“Loki,” she said, and he cut off. Tense, she observed, and there was a new wariness - or an old wariness returned. A sense of something ever so slightly gone awry, though she still couldn’t quite pin down what it was. “I didn’t say that I didn’t want you here. Why are you trying to run?”

“I am not–” Loki hissed. His jaw tightened and he let out a slow breath. “It hasn’t been the best of months. That is all.” 

“It makes me nervous when you’re cryptic.” 

He flashed her a brittle smile. “Good. It’ll keep you on your toes.” (Persecution)

6. “Is there anyone else you trust?” 

Valkyrie? Not entirely. Heimdall? With Asgard’s best interests, yes; with himself, no. Frigga, once, but she’d been gone for years. “No.” 

Rogers’ expression softened, the corner of his mouth tugging briefly downward. “That sounds incredibly lonely.”

Loki’s teeth clicked together and he almost flinched. “I endure,” he said coldly, and started walking. 

“I’m just saying,” Rogers said. “Maybe it doesn’t need to be like that. You could at least try having a little faith in other people.”

“I could,” Loki said, “but I’d rather not. Given my status, it would be a quick way to get myself killed.” (the first steps stumbling forward)

7. He could feel Loki’s stare on his back as he strode out, his mind already whirling. He knew this was, practically speaking, a terrible idea. His friends would certainly think so. Somewhere in his head Clint was shouting at him about dangerous and insane and he’ll do anything to get any kind of power he can, but...they’d find some other way of containing Loki. Something that wasn’t this, because there had to be another way. The geas wasn’t really about containment, after all. It was about torture. 

Steve grabbed a large pad of paper and a pen off his desk, took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and headed back to Loki’s rooms, feeling a little like he was going into battle. He supposed that after a manner of speaking he was. 

He knocked on the door and waited, again, for Loki to open it. He hadn’t quite managed to wipe the confusion off his face, at least not completely. 

“What…”

Steve held up the pad of paper. “We,” he said, “are going to do some brainstorming.” (Tear My Castle Down)

8. Sometimes, Steve had thought, handling Loki was a bit like battlefield tactics. For better results when it went well, though, and fewer casualties if it went badly. Usually just Loki’s disappearance for a day or two before he came slinking warily back, an apology on his tongue and braced for rejection. (The Closing Ring)

9. “I don’t understand,” he said blurrily, “why you won’t just - finish it.” 

“I told you-”

‘I don’t mean...killing me,” Loki said. “I mean - breaking me. You could. It wouldn’t be hard. Why don’t you?” 

She was silent. Loki counted five breaths before she said, “let’s table that for when you’re not quite so out of it.”

Tell me now, he wanted to insist, I need to know, but he was still having a hard time talking and he was afraid if he argued with her she would leave, and he didn’t want to be alone right now. He didn’t know what he would do if he were, and didn’t want to know. (Perception)

10. He knew where he needed to go. Where the power was. Where the power was, he could steal some for himself. Perhaps, depending on what this Grandmaster was like, more than some. With power came safety, and with safety came the opportunity to gain a foothold. And then…

And then what? Will you stay here for the rest of your life, safely hidden, far from Asgard and your thrice-damned adoptive sister?

The answer that occurred to him was bleak: where else are you going to go? (the rapture of that cruelty)

11. “Loki admires you,” Frigga said. “He looks to you and sees a role model.”

Hela blinked. “Is that so,” she said. 

“Yes,” Frigga said. “You are his older sister. You are powerful, strong, fearless. Sure of yourself. Of course he admires you. Thor does as well, though he does not want to admit it. That is something you can throw away if you wish, but you might remember that even a Queen does not rule truly alone.”

Hela smoothed out her expression, hoping her surprise was hidden. Frigga spoke as though she expected Hela to rule. As though she did not intend to try to push her aside in favor of her own child. There was all likelihood it was a ploy, of course, but it was still...interesting. 

Then again, Frigga was not the kind to make her animosity obvious, or her plans transparent. (swords into plowshares)

12. “Fighting over what?” 

“Long story,” Steve said. He didn’t particularly want to try explaining twentieth-century politics to an alien. Loki had enough trouble with some aspects of modern democracy, and he’d been living here for almost a century. “Regardless, I thought he was in trouble. He wasn’t, but I guess I got his attention because he kept dropping by.” 

He could see Thor thinking back. “He never said anything.”

There were several biting things Steve thought of to say, but he held them back and just shrugged. 

“And...eventually he came to stay?” Thor shifted. “Did he tell you why?” 

“Yes,” Steve said. “He said it was because he would be killed if anyone found out he was a - Jotun. He was just going to say goodbye. I asked him to stay.” He wanted to say he was terrified and miserable and sick with it, but he’d only be saying it to hurt. (Thunderstorms)

[hopelessromanticspoonie]

As You Are

Chapter: Beyond MIdgard (Chapter 3 of ?)

Co-authors: hopeless_romantic_spoonie, yespolkadotkitty

Summary: While in Asgard, Loki has a haunting secret he needs to reveal to Spoons.

Entire series found on Ao3 here :)

A/N: Co-written with my smut sister, @yespolkadotkitty​

Taglist: @vodka-and-some-sass​ @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic​ @myoxisbroken​ @nonsensicalobsessions​

Warning: There be smut ahead.

“And I find another mortal in my court,” Odin finished, his one good eye staring out at his sons.

Loki folded his arms over his chest and did his best to maintain the bored expression he’d trained himself to wear around his father. He glanced at Thor. The golden boy of the pair nodded once, imperceptibly, and Loki knew that whatever his faults, his brother would have his back on this, if nothing else.

“I did not bring her here for you to judge, Father.” The word dripped with snark and Thor subtly elbowed Loki, reminding him to show a little respect. Loki ignored the jab. He wasn’t going to take any insults for his dear Spoons, let alone from Odin.

“Then why did you?” Odin asked imperiously. “And where is your mortal dalliance, Thor?”

His brother’s face tensed. “I have asked you on several occasions not to speak of Jane thus.”

Odin merely raised a brow like he’d heard all this before, and wasn’t interested in any opinion other than his own.

“I brought her here so she would know Asgard. Where I was raised. So to speak,” Loki finally said, his voice echoing to his own ears in the chamber. “She is… I love her.”

Odin’s eyebrow raised further than Loki had ever seen it in his lifetime. “You think you love her, boy,” the old man rumbled.

“‘Tis true, Father,” Thor intoned quietly but firmly, brokering no argument. “I have never seen Loki so… At peace with himself.”

“Is that so?” Odin asked, his tone lazy, like he cared not for the answer whatever it was. “And what about when she grows weak and old, as Midgardians do? What about in the Winter of her mortal life? What then?”

Loki pressed his lips together. To tell Odin that he planned to ask for the apple would surely mean the tyrant destroyed every one he could find out of spite for the stolen child he had taken long ago during wartime.

But to say nothing….

He glanced at Thor, feeling a kinship with his brother that hadn’t been there for some time. Years. Their love for mortals had brought them together again, and he was grateful for it.

“You mean to ask Frigga,” Odin murmured, his eye narrowed in appraisal as he stared at his sons - united in their affections for mortal women.

“Yes.” No hiding it now, Loki thought, frustration simmering in his belly. “If you have anything to say, say it here, or forever hold your tongue.”

“Oh, I have plenty to say,” Odin began. “But little of it that you will want to hear, to abide by. You have ever forged your own path, regardless of my opinion of it, Loki.” His eye raked down his adopted son’s long form. “The mortal knows, I assume? Of your Jotun heritage?”

Loki shifted uncomfortably. She knew. She hadn’t seen. But that would not matter to someone like her. Would it?

“Of course,” he lied, the words falling smoothly from his lips.

“And she has seen your true form and loves you, still?” Odin pressed, settling his weight back on his heels, his brow arched in disbelief.

Loki nodded, not trusting himself to speak the lie out loud. They hadn’t exchanged such proclamations of love, but he would not rush it. That small facet of information did not need to be made clear.

“Father, enough,” Thor commanded quietly.

Odin bristled at his son’s tone but inclined his head. “As we have concluded business, we should return to your mother.”

As they walked together from the throne room, fury coiled tightly in his belly. The shred of doubt had been planted by his poisonous father, and it festered.

~~~

Tension immediately seeped out of your tightly-wound frame when Loki stalked into the garden. The conversation had taken a turn for the serious with his mother, and you were far too exhausted and a little too pained to uphold your politeness beneath such scrutiny, however gentle and well meant, for too much longer.

“Getting along well, are we?” Loki asked, coming up to the duo. He embraced his mother with one arm, pressing a light kiss to the side of her head before releasing her to do the same to you.

“We were just having a lovely chat, woman to woman,.” Frigga graced the pair with a warm smile, her serene face giving absolutely nothing away as to what you’d discussed. The woman had serious game.

You slipped your hand into the crook of Loki’s elbow, leaning on him lightly as the travels of the day weighed down on your aching body. Traveling through the Bifrost, riding on horseback, walking around the expansive palace, and the added strain of meeting the King and Queen of basically everything you knew to be had taken its toll on your body. His face revealed what had probably been a stressful conversation with his father as well, if the crease between his eyebrows and the taut muscles beneath your hand were anything to go by.

Frigga tilted her head in her regal, enigmatic way. “Loki. I’d wager your guest needs some time to recover after the journey, and a moment to acclimate to Asgard. Perhaps you should take her to your quarters to refresh herself.”

Thank goodness. An excuse to take a moment away with him wasn’t one that you were going to turn down. “I’d love to see your rooms.”

“Who am I to turn down such a request?” Loki asked, giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Before you could reflect on that, he bowed his head lightly to his mother and led you off back in the direction of the castle.

As you walked with him, you took notice of the small differences in how he was received compared to his mother. Instead of warm smiles and bowed heads, he was met with cold stares, and the backs of subjects you passed turned away to focus on meaningless tasks. The response made your blood boil in your veins. He should be afforded all the respect of his family, who were greeted with open happiness or at least admiration, at each turn - even Odin, miserable as he seemed. You held your head up higher, showing without words your pride in being seen with the dark prince, despite the nagging pain lighting up your legs, pulling your shoulders back at the confused glances sent your way.

If you weren’t already an oddity for being a Midgardian, then your appearance on Loki’s arm, wearing his colors no less, certainly did the trick.

“And these are my chambers,” Loki said quietly, breaking your train of thought. He pushed open two imposing, elaborately carved golden doors, releasing you from his grasp so that you had the opportunity to explore as you pleased.

The suite was grand, the visible area alone larger than your entire studio apartment doubled. The beautiful Asgardian skyline was visible through high stone arches leading out onto a grand terrace, illuminating and reflecting off golden accents dotted around the room. His signature colors of green and black raced over the lush bedspread covering the largest bed you’d ever seen, complete with intricate wrought iron headboard, the heavy drapes covering the walls, and a plush rug that was spread out in front of a dark fireplace. And each wall was covered with bookshelves full to the brim with books of all different thicknesses and colors, itching to be plucked from the rest and perused on one of the two elegant wooden chairs currently soaking up the sunshine on the terrace.

He hovered behind you, waiting for your response, giving you space as you slowly walked about the room. Your feet carried you in a lackadaisical path to the bed, stopping to brush your hands over a stack of thick tomes, pausing to admire a small display of daggers. You sat down on the soft mattress with an audible sigh, the giving cushion beneath you most welcome.

Loki closed the doors behind himself, locking them with a loud click before turning to you once again. His shoulders were practically up to his ears as he shoved his hands behind his back, and his eyes stared holes in the stone wall behind you. His jaw was set, a muscle ticking there occasionally, revealing the gears silently turning in his head.

“What’s wrong? Conversation with your brother and Odin not go so well?” you asked, patting the bed next to you invitingly. He was so far away, lingering at the door of his rooms like a ghoul, and you craved the comfort of his touch to soothe your frayed nerves.

His eyes flitted down to yours, reading your expression thoroughly as if he could see into your very soul with his penetrating gaze. “It was to be expected. He is a stubborn old man set in his ways.”

It wasn’t much of an explanation, but it seemed the only one he was going to give at this time. Maybe a lighter topic of conversation would help ease his anxieties a bit? “Your mother seems lovely. She’s very… perceptive.”

The barest of smiles tugged on his lips, and he took a few steps closer to you. He brought one hand up, scrubbing it over his face, revealing a fatigued expression in its wake. “I…” he shook his head, putting his hands on his narrow hips and dropping his chin down to his chest as he puzzled over whatever was bothering him. His eyes were shuttered.

Stifling the moan of pain that wanted to creep up from deep inside of you, you heaved yourself up off of the bed, closing the distance between you so that he was forced to look into your eyes. You reached out to take one of his hands gently, trying to reassure him with your touch. “You can talk to me, Loki. What’s going on?”

He pulled his hand away to cross his arms over his leather-clad chest, closing himself off from you. Hesitation was written in the tightness of his eyes. After several lengthy moments of silence, he turned his back to you, addressing the wall, his words cold and stilted as if practiced. “I am not Asgardian.”

“Well, I know that. Everybody knows how you and Thor aren’t really brothers, but that doesn’t mean anything. At least it didn’t seem that way to your mother. She seemed to love you very much when we were talking,” you replied slowly, trying to get to the root of his problem. Your hand settled lightly on the dip of his spine between his shoulder blades, trying to maintain a physical connection to break through whatever was plaguing him.

“No. When I say that I am not Asgardian, I mean to say that I am from another realm. Jotunheim, to be exact,” he corrected you, firmly, but without malice to harden his tone.

“Okay… So you’re Jotunheimian?”

Your hand slid over his back to stop over his heart when he turned around to face you again. “I am Jotun. The creatures that inhabit that world are called Frost Giants-”

You cut him off with a smile. “-That explains the height.”

“Just listen to me, please,” he snapped, voice raised to almost be considered a shout. You jumped back at the suddenness of it, your hands curling into your chest protectively, and his face softened immediately. His long-fingered hands set about undoing the various stays and ties holding his armor on his slender frame.

Heat flushed onto your cheeks. He wanted to get naked now...? “Loki, maybe now isn’t the time.”

He rolled his eyes. “I am not trying to seduce you, kitten. It would help,” he dropped the heavy clothing to the floor behind him, “if you could see more of my body to make my point.”

You felt the weight of his stare as slowly, a blue tint crept across his exposed flesh, starting from the waistband of his pants, creeping up his body until it replaced every inch of creamy skin. You lifted your eyes to his, startled when the deep green you had come to know was replaced with a bright burning red. The intensity of his pleading stare, the pain and vulnerability, held you captive as his arms stretched out from his sides.

“When we first spoke, I mentioned knowing what it was to be different to those around you on the inside, but appear as everyone else on the outside. This is what I meant. I am this creature, a monster I was raised to despise and view as lesser than beings from the other realms,” he admitted, his voice deadly quiet, as if he spoke any louder it would frighten you away. “I felt it prudent to reveal my whole self to you before… Before our relationship progressed any further. To give you the choice to care for me, or not, with all the facts laid out before you.”

Your eyes left his, darting out to the sunlight streaming over the balcony invitingly. An idea formed. “Can anyone see us if we go outside?”

“No, one of the few allowances I am granted as a prince is that of a private terrace,” he replied slowly, dark brow furrowed.

“Can I see you in the light?” you asked, offering him a gentle smile, taking a few steps in that direction and holding your hand out to him.

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and nodded, taking your hand and guiding you outside. You didn’t let go of him once you were able to see him in his full glory, instead pulling him so that your back was supported by the rough stone wall and he was positioned in front of you.

He was glorious. The bright light only highlighted the various shades of red shining in his eyes, and the lighter blue ridges that were scattered across his skin. Deep down he was still Loki, still the wonderful man who had taken your heart for his piece by piece, with each kiss and smile and poetic utterance, and this didn’t change that. One bit.

You tugged on him so that he stood close enough for your other hand to skate along his abdomen, the muscles there fluttering beneath your familiar touch.

“You care for me despite the limits of my physical body, yes?”

The smallest of grins tugged on his indigo lips as he looked down at you. “I do, very much.”

You brought your entwined fingers up to your lips, peppering light kisses over his knuckles. “And I lo-” you stopped yourself from uttering that word. You couldn’t handle that sort of rejection when you were already overwhelmed by your surroundings. “And the hold that you have on my heart is no different. You could be purple, or yellow, or have multicolored eyes, and it wouldn’t scare me away. I have news for you, pal. You’re stuck with me, Loki, whether you-”

He cut you off with a searing kiss, pinning your body between his and the palace wall behind you. The outpouring of his relief and joy was tangible, felt in the way his tongue sought entrance into your mouth and his hands skimmed along your sides to hook beneath your thighs and lift your legs to wrap around his waist.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, tangling in his long raven hair as you deepened the kiss, warmth flooding your body from the gentle rocking of his arousal into your pulsing center and tongue exploring the depths of your mouth expertly, coaxing soft moans from you.

His heated touch seared your skin as he dragged his lips down your jaw to the pulse hammering in your throat, kissing and sucking on the sensitive flesh with just enough pressure to send tendrils of electricity sizzling to your core. Panting, you tapped on the back of his neck, knowing that you couldn’t hold this position for long but not wanting to break the moment for anything. “Bed. Now.”

A pleased hum thrummed through your skin where his mouth had sealed over your collarbone, and he supported your weight easily as he carried you inside and to the bed, gently lowering your back onto the expansive surface without breaking his hold on you.

Your heavy-lidded eyes fluttered open to take him in as he left you on the bed to stand beside it, his porcelain skin and green eyes having returned, watching him as he quickly shed his pants to reveal nothing underneath, his cock springing to attention against his stomach. Hunger darkened his gaze as he knelt beside you, his calloused fingertips rasping against your skin deliciously as he helped you shed the remainder of your clothing until you were both bare before the other.

“I must have you,” he growled, voice raspy and deep as he settled himself between your spread legs, sliding his arms behind your back to press your bare chests together. The rub of his skin against your pebbled nipples made you hiss through your teeth at the almost agonizing thrill of it.

Your hands found purchase on the cut of muscles at his waist, and you squeezed him gently, shaking your head. “Not like this. In your Jotun form,” you commanded breathlessly, wanting him to know that you fully accepted him, no matter what appearance he held. "Please."

The briefest flash of shock was wiped away by the strongest awe you had ever seen grace his face. Murmuring your name reverently, he claimed his mouth for yours just as he slid inside of you in one slow and steady motion, filling you completely and breaking the kiss so you could both gasp for air the other had stolen. As he did so, the now familiar blue swept over his body, complete with the beautifully patterned, ridged skin.

His forehead fell onto your shoulder as his back bowed over you, his steady thrusts just the right angle and speed to heighten the pleasure slowly tightening at your center. His teeth grazed against the heaving top of your breast, sending chills down your spine. The almost punishing pace he set meant you could do nothing but hold onto him, hands clutching at the flexing and rolling muscles of his back, as you both climbed towards the peak of your euphoria together.

One arm unwound itself from beneath you to slide between your bodies, seeking out your hardened nub of almost over-stimulated nerve endings that throbbed with the rapid drum of your heart, rubbing it furiously to give you that last needed friction.

With a cry that echoed throughout the vast room, your orgasm washed over you in a wave that had you clenching around him, milking his completion from him as well. Your name tumbled from his lips in a loud groan, barely muffled by his mouth against your sweat-dampened chest.

Carefully he collapsed onto the bed beside you, pulling you so that you were half-lying on top of him in one smooth motion. Your legs tangled with his and your arm draped across his chest naturally, a position that you had assumed many times before until your back protested. It was comforting to listen to his racing heart slow beneath your ear, feel his chest expand and contract as his breathing returned back to normal.

You traced your fingers over the swirling ridges on his still-blue skin, marveling at the deep colour and the pleasant texture. He was beautiful.

“Thank you for visiting Asgard with me, love,” he murmured, stroking the length of your spine languidly, hushing the ache leftover from his avid lovemaking.

Love? Surely he hadn’t meant to use that endearment; he was simply sated and exhausted from his efforts. Choosing to ignore it, to not let yourself hope that his feelings matched yours, you tilted your head to leave a light peck on his sternum. “With a reception like that, I will return anytime you want," you replied cheekily.

"My mortal minx." He snuggled into you, his cheek pressed to your hair. "I would not change you for all the treasure in the Nine Realms."

As the two moons rose together beyond Loki's private terrace, you slept as Asgard settled around you, the scones in the palace going out one by one, until only starlight remained.

[skydiving-without-a-parachute]

Stars, Guide Me Home

Pairing: Frostiron (Tony x Loki) | Word count: 3096 words | Genre: SO. MUCH. ANGST., fluff if you really comb through it all | Warnings: Suicide attempt, self-loathing

A/N: This doesn’t exactly follow the time line or happenings. Thor: The Dark World has happened until the point where Loki and Thor joined forces. He didn’t die nor even get out of prison, he has found his way out some other way. Irondad and Spiderson are a thing. 

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When Loki and Thor were young, Frigga used to tell them stories. Mainly stories of fierce warriors, dragons and violence, but sometimes even romantic stories, such as the story of soulmates. The older and more naïve brother often claimed, that soulmates were real, but Loki never believed such lies. He was the God of Lies, he knew one when he heard one. Frigga was exceptionally good at lying, but lying nonetheless. Loki had never belonged anywhere, so how could he have belonged to anyone? Who could have ever loved a creature like him? He didn't have a home in Jotunheim - he was a midget compared to real Frost Giants, and had been left alone to die, when Odin found him. But Asgard wasn't his home either - Odin had taken him with him to make his own son, Thor Odinson, shine brighter among his disappointment of a half brother, and to use him to establish peace with the Jotuns. Frigga - bless her heart - had taken Loki under her wing, taught him her magic and hoped it would help him find him some sun for himself, find a way to escape from underneath the shadows Odin and Thor cast over him. But after all, Frigga was not his mother, and Loki was not her son. He was a trophy of Odin's, nothing more.

The mirror shattered, as Loki's fist came in contact with it with force. Burning hot tears streamed down Loki's blue cheeks, and he looked up to see his crimson eyes in the mirror, disfigured by cracks along its surface. He was a monster. Asgardians were taught to fear Jotuns, they were the enemy. Loki was the enemy. He often found himself wishing, that Odin would have never found him, that he had been left on that rock to die. After all, his birth right was to die. Odin had said so himself. And after Thanos, after New York... Who was he to rightfully be alive? Loki had thought countless times about taking his life. He couldn't seem to find a quantum of happiness anywhere. Life had left its markings on him; First the Jotun markings on his blue Jotun form, given to him before birth, then broken bones and scars from fighting Thor as a child and losing, and then... Torture. He could still remember it vividly, like it had just happened. He could feel his skin burning up, his lungs aching from screams of pain Thanos had drawn from him. He could no longer withstand the slightest of touch on his bare skin, even the breath of a wind reminded him of the pain he had endured and woke fright and pain inside him. More burning tears fell from Loki's eyes and his lower lip trembled. If Odin had seen him now, he surely would have done the job for Loki and killed him himself. What a weak little prince he was.

And then there was Frigga's death. The only real ally he had ever known, taken from him much too soon. And he hadn't even been allowed to attend the funeral. He had been locked in the prisons of Asgard like an animal, like a senseless savage. Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath, slowly changing back into himself. With soaked green eyes and a still trembling lip, he accessed his memories, and pulled up moments he had shared with his mother alone in the gardens of Asgard. He watched Frigga smile at him and patiently teach him a new magic trick. She radiated warmth and calmness, and for a moment it held him in its comfort. Until his memories disappeared into the back of his brain, as did the comfort looking at a happy Frigga had provided. Loki had never known how Frigga could have loved a monstrous, adopted child like she had, and never would he know such love again. Thanos had confirmed all the thoughts he had had along the years; He wasn't Laufey's son and he sure as hell wasn't Odin's son, he wasn't an equal brother of Thor's, he wasn't an equal son of Frigga's, he... He was nothing but an abandoned, scared little boy, lost in the Nine Realms, belonging to none of them. A coldness took over Loki's chest again, a coldness so freezing, he turned blue again. For once, his appearance matched how he felt inside.

He had been pardoned for his actions in New York, but on one condition: He would join the Avengers. If he refused or even did a sloppy job as an Avenger, he would be imprisoned for life or possibly even executed for his crimes. So Loki had joined, but not to avoid execution; To avoid rotting away in a prison for thousands of years. He had joined the Avengers to die. As collateral damage or sacrificing himself, it didn't matter... Dying was all that mattered. Sadly he had been doing a somewhat good job with the Avengers and the team always rescued him when he was in the line of fire without defending himself. They often asked, if he had a death wish, but none of them actually thought, he wanted to die. Everyone assumed he was being a dramatic little bitch and rebelling against having to join them. Not once did they think anything near the thought, that nobody infact could hate Loki more than he hated himself. Nobody wanted him dead like he did.

Loki kneeled down on of the Stark Tower's balconies, as a beautiful, ornamental dagger materialized in his hand. The handle was gold and emerald with spiraling patterns, the sharp, even blade glistening in the moonlight. He kept his armour on - he may have been a disgrace, but never would he die in anything but his armour -, and gently laid his golden helmet beside him. This was not a ceremony or a battle, this was nothing glorious enough for him to be wearing his helmet. She gleamed, the light dancing on her bendy horns. Loki laid a hand on the forehead of the helmet, closing his eyes. "You have served me well, stood with me in many battles, many a man's blood have I cleansed off you", he spoke softly. There was something about his helmet, that he had grown attached to. It was just an object, but a very dear object. With a sigh, he lifted his hand off the helmet and focused on his dagger. He took the handle with his both hands and lifted his gaze upwards. The reason he was doing this here, outside, instead of his room in the Tower, was so he could see the stars. He wanted the night sky to be the last thing he saw on Midgard. With a deep breath, he plunged the dagger into his own abdomen.

Air escaped Loki's lungs with a whine, his large hands gripped the handle so tight his knuckles turned snow white, and his form bent forward over the dagger. Pain spread out through his body for a moment, before the shock kicked in and Loki no longer felt physical pain. The shock allowed him to open his eyes again, which he only now noticed he had shut tightly at some point. He watched the blurry stars with tears in his eyes, not hearing the glass door slide open behind him. "Loki?! What have you done?!" came a concerned voice out of nowhere. Loki closed his eyes again and took a moment to recognize the voice. "Leave me, Stark", he asked - no, begged -, but Tony only came closed. He gasped and took a step back in terror, when he saw the handle of a dagger glistening in Loki's hands and the thick, dark red blood running down his armour. Hot, salty tears rose in Tony's eyes as he threw himself on his knees right beside Loki, loosening his grip of the dagger, to see the wound better. "Oh my God, Loki... What have you done?" Tony's voice sounded only desperate anymore, as he brought his other hand to caress Loki's pale cheek. "Loki, don't go. Don't leave me. There's some much I need to tell you, Loki. Hey, Reindeer Games, stay with me. Loki? Loki! Loki, stay with me. I love you."

The first rays of sunshine woke Tony up. He had dozed off sitting by the window no more than an hour ago, after spending the entire night watching Loki. It was the second morning after Loki's... Incident, and Tony was not letting him be unguarded for a minute. The rest of the Avengers were still clueless. He hadn't left Loki's room or told the team, not even Thor, and he had locked the door to Loki's room. The only one who knew was Stephen, as Tony had called him in panic to help Loki. He didn't want anyone to know yet, he didn't want everyone fussing over Loki and making the Asgardian feel small. Loki always thought nobody loved him or even saw him, but Tony knew him like the back of his hand. He just never got around to telling the God, that he was the first thing Tony saw, when he walked into a room, and just how much he loved what he saw. And now he might never have to opportunity to tell him. "We can only wait, Stark. The damage was not that bad, the blade went straight in and stayed unmoved, but considering the circumstances... Loki might not come back, if he does not wish to", Stephen had told him. "What the fuck does that mean? That he might just take off into some heavenly light or something, because he was desparate and tried to kill himself, clearly not in his right mind?" Tony had screamed at Stephen, not out of anger towards him, but out of pure worry for Loki. "Or because you don't want him to wake up, because he's the villain?"

Loki looked so beautiful despite everything. His head laid on two pillows, cased in white, his raven locks spread out, framing his sculpted face and sharp features. Dark brows were slightly furrowed and one corner of the mouth was in a slight grimace; Loki was medicated, but clearly in heavy discomfort and possibly even pain. If he had just been able to relax, he would have been the most angelic thing Tony had even seen. He stood up off the stool by the window, and walked over to Loki's bed. Morning light caressed his prominent cheek bones, his long lashes and his curled hair. Stephen and Tony had undressed Loki for surgery, but Tony had put Loki's forest green henley shirt back on him after he had been bandaged up by Stephen. With the buttons opens and one side folded over, it revealed one of Loki's collar bones. Tony's gaze fell from Loki's sharp jawline down to his beautiful neck and all the way down to his revealed collar bone. It was so visible and beautiful, he almost wanted to kiss it. Loki rarely showed any skin, but Tony had dreamt about what kind of a body was hidden underneath the heavy armour. He would have bet his entire fortune on Loki having a beautiful body he would have loved to explore with his hands, his tongue, his lips, his eyes... He ached for Loki to let him love him. The Asgardian was without a doubt a broken soul, and Tony wanted nothing on this Earth like he wanted to heal Loki.

Waiting for Loki to wake up gave Tony a lot of time to think. He thought about his feelings, about finding Loki on the balcony when he had been on his way to the kitchen for a 2 A.M. snack, and about accidentally telling him that he loved him when he was begging Loki to stay with him. Tony wondered, if Loki was even gonna remember it, or if he would have forgotten about it, due to shock or due to not sharing the feelings Tony had. Mainly he thought about the first time he had met Loki. Fury had showed up with some S.H.I.E.L.D Agents at the Stark Tower, the Agents surrounding a chained Loki. "Honestly, you didn't seem to mind the chains", Tony let out a little laugh. Humour had always been a coping mechanism for him. If he laughed, then things weren't so bad. The Agents had unchained him at Fury's command, and he had shot some snarky remarks their way, as they did. Tony had not been very impressed with the bad guy joining the Avengers; He would surely be nothing but trouble, and would discredit the Avengers eventually. Such thing never happened, though. Loki's intelligence, magic and capabilities with daggers came quite handy during combat, and even though someone always had to rescue the dumbass wizard, when he didn't realize he was getting himself killed, he made for a pretty good Avenger. That's when it hit Tony. Loki had always known, that he was getting himself killed. He had always known when the enemy had locked him as a target and did not fight it, because that was what he wanted. He wanted to die. The realization shook Tony to his core and sent the coldest thrills down his spine. Loki had wanted to die all along.

"Why do you look like someone died?" A hoarse voice snapped Tony out of his thoughts. "Loki!" he exclaimed and locked a warm embrace around Loki, tears streaming to his cheeks. "You piece of shit, you almost died!" "And yet, somehow I am still alive", the Asgardian replied with a sarcastic tone, but now Tony was wise enough to hear, that the sarcastic tone was only a front - deep down Loki was actually disappointed to still be alive -, so he just hugged Loki tighter and sobbed a little. "Loki, why the hell would you do that?" he asked, when he finally took a seat in the chair next to Loki's bed, still holding the God's hand in his. "Why does anyone take their own life?" "Are you really that miserable with us?" "With-, no, Anthony. This is not about the Avengers", Loki replied and tried to shake his head, but the motion was enough to make him let out a whimper. "Why are you even here?" Loki's question made Tony think, that he had forgotten all about his confession of love. He looked down and wondered, what to tell Loki. "What is it about, if not us?" he asked quietly, looking at the white sheets of Loki's elevated bed. "Personal, Anthony", the God gave a short answer, not wanting to share with the man in iron. "Talk to me. If it's not about the Avengers, what is it? I know something about this stuff, Loki, I've been on a self-destructive path. Keeping it to yourself will not help you", Tony tried to convince Loki to talk, keeping his voice soft and steady, even when inside he felt desperate and wanted to cry. "Mortals", the God huffed and rolled his eyes. "It's about me, alright? You fools think you hate me with all your hearts, but none of you can even begin to imagine the hatred I feel for myself", Loki spat out the words like venom, sounding almost angered. "We don't hate you, Loki. The team is starting to see you as one of us, and Thor loves you. Peter loves you. Yeah, Loki, that kid's crazy about you. He always wants to hang out with you, he thinks you're so cool and kinda scary and he just wants you to teach him your ways", Tony's eyes brighten up, when he talks about Peter, who's become practically Tony's son by now. "He's always shushing everyone, if someone tries to claim you're too dangerous for him to mess with."

Tony came down from his excitement only to realize that there's now sadness in Loki's green eyes. "What is it? Was it something I said?" he became instantly worried. "I'm too dangerous for Peter. I'm too dangerous for anyone. I'm a monster and I should be treated as one", Loki answered, turning his face away from Tony, but he gently grabbed Loki's chin and turned him to face him. "Loki, Peter loves you. You're not the bad guy." "I've always been unwanted, Stark, why would I suddenly be wanted? The Jotuns didn't want me, Asgard didn't want me, and Midgard definitely doesn't want me." "You were mind-controlled", Tony defended him. "Because I am weak. It would never had happened to Thor", he replied, exposing his broken soul to Tony for a quick glance, and it broke Tony's heart. He shut his eyes and pressed a kiss on Loki's lips. The world muted around them, and suddenly there was no one else. There was only Loki, his dry lips and the saltiness of Tony's own tears. When he broke the kiss, he saw Loki staring at him in horror. "What- What are you doing?" "I kissed you, idiot." "No, don't- Don't do that, Stark, don't you dare go catch feelings for me. I am a monster, do you understand me?" "Too late. And you're not a monster, Reindeer Games", Tony smirked lovingly at the Asgardian, "you're just misunderstood. You deserve better."

Tony's words struck Loki like lightning. And he should know, he's caught a few of those growing up with Thor. "Heal yourself, please. I know you're strong enough to do that now. Strange stitched you up, but your magic will probably do a better job", Tony snickered. Loki sighed, but removed the bandages with Tony's help and then healed himself. "Good, now I can do this", he smiled and crawled into bed with Loki. Loki was about to tell him no, when Tony laid a hand on Loki's hand. A shiver shot through Loki's body and he winced in fear. "Shh, it's okay, Loki. It's okay", Tony's voice was calming and soft, somewhat like Frigga's voice, but obviously huskier. Quivering in fear, Loki let Tony come near and spoon him. Tony pulled the blanket over the two of them and held the cold God in his arms. Slowly Loki relaxed in Tony's arms, allowing touch for the first time after being tortured. "So you never had a real home?" Tony asked silenty. "Loki, all you had to do was ask. This is your home. You'll always have a home not only in my Tower, but in my arms. Whenever you need", he spoke gently, ghosting a kiss on Loki's neck. "I love you, Loki. You are home."

[fanficshiddles]

The monster within, Chapter 15

When I came round, it was dark. With it being summer, I knew it must’ve been in the middle of the night.

I sat up and my head felt a bit sore while the room spun. What the hell did he do to me? I put my palm against my forehead and took a few deep breaths before standing up. I was in the bedroom, there was no sign of Loki though.

That was until I left the room and found him in the living room, just sitting on the sofa with the lamp on at the side. I felt like running away back to the bedroom, scared. But I knew it was silly because there was nowhere in this cabin that he couldn’t get to.

Looking over to the kitchen, I decided to make a cup of tea. God, I needed one. So, I quietly pattered over and tried not to say anything, though I desperately wanted to shout and scream at him. To ask questions, to hit him. But I knew that would only make matters worse, much worse.

I had to tread carefully. The only saving grace I had was that I knew he wouldn’t harm me, not physically anyway with the condition I was in.

The wait for the kettle to boil felt like it took hours. But eventually I poured two mugs and added the three spoons of sugar for Loki, he had a right sweet tooth. Then I went over and hovered awkwardly at the side of the sofa, unsure on what to say or do.

He turned his head and looked at me, a look I hadn’t seen in him before. It was a mixture of confusion and remorse. He then looked at the two mugs I had in my hands. I held one out to him, still wary about going closer. He seemed to have a short fuse, one minute he was calm and reasonable and the next he could turn on me.

Taking the mug from me, he slid over the sofa so there was more room. He patted the space next to him and I hesitated big time.

‘Sit.’ His tone was demanding but not quite as scary as it had been before he knocked me out. But I didn’t want to anger him or try pushing his buttons, so I did as I was told like a well-behaved puppy.

‘Why did you do it the way you did? You could have met someone in a better way. Not by kidnapping girls and raping them! Making poor Tom rape them! Why?’ I blurted out and turned to face him.

A wicked grin spread across his face, which sent a shiver down my spine. Here was the wicked side of him again.

‘I pulled the deepest, darkest fantasies from Tom’s mind that were hidden incredibly well, but not enough from me. He wanted to kidnap girls, to have his wicked fun with them. It aroused him. The thought of watching another man fuck girls unwillingly. His biggest taboo fantasy… Since I was using him anyway, I thought why not let him run wild by doing it the way he truly desired to? I didn’t force him to do what he did, I simply flicked the switch in his mind and kept one hand on the wheel. He did the rest, mostly.’

‘Last night you were complaining that he did nothing. That it was you who did all the work.’ I countered, while being deeply disturbed by his words I tried to keep as confident as I possibly could. Even though I was fucking terrified inside.

Loki smirked and reached out to grip my chin, I wasn’t quick enough to evade him. ‘Smart girl. Nothing gets passed you, does it?’ He purred. ‘If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have done any of it in the first place. So, it was me who did all the work.’

A tear ran down my face as I couldn’t control myself anymore. I pulled away from him, and he allowed me to do so. I put my mug of tea down, he’d already finished his in a few massive gulps and the mug was gone.

‘Why?’ Was my next question.

‘Why, what?’ He countered.

‘Why did you get banished as a frost giant?’

Loki shrugged. ‘I tried to take over Asgard. Odin was not happy, so he banished me. I never would have tried it in the first place if Thor hadn’t treated me like an ant under his boot. I only ever wanted to be his equal. But no. The adopted son, a monster, could never become King of Asgard.’ He hissed.

I could see the pain etched on his face as he spoke, but it was quickly masked again by rage. Were the films so true to his life? It was starting to seem like it…

I got up and walked away from him, I wasn’t sure if I could do this anymore. But taking a deep breath, I knew I had no other option. I couldn’t go anywhere. I had no one else but Loki. I was trapped, again. Only this time, I finally knew the truth.

I just had to get out of it. Somehow.

He got up and stalked over to me, one of his strong arms circled around me and even when I tried to pull away, he didn’t let me. He turned me in towards him and I pushed against his chest, which was like trying to push a brick bloody wall.

‘Are you revolted? Horrified?’ He sneered.

‘I’m… Disappointed.’

His mouth snapped shut and he actually looked… Shocked? And saddened by my answer. By the slight raise of his eyebrow I knew he wanted me to expand on my answer.

‘You claim that you’re a monster. So you turn another decent human being into one. For what, your own gain? You have ruined Tom’s career, not to mention his life. If this all gets out, he’s done for! He will be sent to jail. All he’s ever done has been portray you in such a magnificent way. Have you even seen the films and the way he stands up for your character in interviews? Whether the films are anything to do with your real life or not! Then you lie to me, make me fall in love with you. With your true form. Not this form, your real one… I think when you were a Jotun, that was the real you, Loki. Not this. This form of you, is the true monster.’ I said truthfully, but it broke my heart to say it.

It took a while before he did or said anything, processing my words first. I knew it had hit him hard. And I was glad. Someone had to. But when he reached up with his other hand, I flinched, thinking he was going to strike me. He looked hurt at that too.

But he was gentle. The tips of his fingers danced softly over my face, caressing my cheek and then along my jawline. ‘I never wanted you to find out in this way. Truly. I hoped we could have carried on as we were, and once the baby came along, just like a happy little family. With a happily ever after ending… But no, monsters like me do not get happy endings. Like you say, I am the monster.’ He said sadly, his finger brushed across my lower lip before he took a few steps back, away from me.

Then he walked out of the room, leaving me alone. I heard him go into the spare room and shut the door…

What the fuck just happened there?