#even if we dont kno each other — i know u r doing ur best to survive n that is smth 2 be proud of ! n i love u for it ! ! :D so !

[let-djaqsayfuck]

the bbc robin hood characters n their red flags:

Robin

-hero complex

-mommy daddy AND brother issues like damn hun pick a family member

-kind of a whore

-might have punched a wall

-can do backflips. never trust a man who can do a backflip. this is non negotiable

-ur hulu best have ads or else

-cannot apologize to save his life

Much

-never takes off his carhartt beanie

-“bros before hoes” aka would drop u for robin in a heartbeat

-that run. the way he runs. wtf. little penguin lookin ass—

Will

-gave his dad son issues

-don’t like the look in his eye if i’m being honest

-“car guy” vibes 🚩🚩🚩

-but overall he has the least amount of red flags i love him A+ bf material

Allan a Dale

-“what up bitch can i have a dollar? ugh for a slushee,, i kno you have one open ur purse”

-might rob you blind

-would borrow your car, get in a fender bender and most definitely NOT tell you about it

-any gift you receive from him will get repossessed bc he has stolen it

Tuck

-catholic

-gives unsolicited advice

-idk what his deal is but can he even date??? can friars date?? girl idk but also tucks my 4liferr idc what you guys say

-the way he grabbed that gravel unsettled me

Little John

-he’s married (? taken*?) so

-but i mean hey

-cannot pass a background check

Djaq

-she is perfect no red flags 2 speak of

-would probably forget you in the target parking lot

-judgy but rightfully so

-will always be wittier than u so if u can’t handle that u will never b compatible

Marian

-outdresses you at every event. yea sometimes it is on purpose, die mad ab it

-leaves you on read for hours but will show up at ur doorstep w a stab wound like “oh the bleeding? it’s in a non vital area it’s fine we can go get chipotle now”

-has all the tea on everyone. like not in a fun gossipy way, a “how does she know this much personal information about everyone” and it gets you thinking how much does she know about you?????

-the answer is everything be very scared

-has side hoes. u r probably one of them

Kate

-shanks as a warning

-“i’m a chill girl” she is n o t

-shoplifts but only at franchises she has personal vendettas against (it is a long list, panera being thee top 1)(yes you have had to drive a getaway car stuffed w trash bags full of bagels)

-saw her mugshot on the news, she told you dont worry abt it babes

Isabella

-gaslight gatekeep girlboss

-every time u jokingly ask her how many ppl she’s stabbed, her response keeps changing w increasingly random numbers

-plays games >:( specifically, political ones that involve huge scandals and coups. sexy, but a red flag regardless

-talks about you to her friends but in a way where they all laugh discreetly and arch their eyebrows knowingly at each other from behind their wine glasses. you don’t know what this means but it’s unnerving

Roy

-says he “has his own car” but it’s actually a scooter

-can’t communicate v well

-gave a baby a lightbulb to play with once

-cheesy pickup lines that he 100% believes are smooth

-very easily convinced by the flat earth theory, but will never fall for a multi level marketing scheme pitch

Sheriff

-he’s a gemini

-what else do u need to know? babe RUN

Guy

-he is a walking red flag LOOK AT HIM

-owns more knives than shirts and makes you look at them while he talks about all the unique ways u can kill ppl w them

-got 1 tattoo and made it his whole personality

-has never once talked about his feelings. he told you his favorite season then immediately apologized “for getting all vulnerable”

-hung up on his ex 🙄

[joyseuphoria]

She hated how much she liked him now

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!

The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!

You can read it here or on ao3

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 16:00)

Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up

Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?

Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will

Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh

jamie finally asked lily on a date

Peter Pettigrew: Wait what

Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej

when 

how 

tell me everything 

Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date

voila 

Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black

or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 

Sirius Black: empty threats

if u really wanna know u can go ask em

(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)

Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 

_____________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:00)

Jamie Potter: good riddance 

thx marls 

Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon

now spill 

Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)

Lily Evans: that she does;)

Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl

(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)

Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 

Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy

I didn't like it

Jamie Potter:.........thx??

Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie

_________

THE CURLY SQUAD 

(Tuesday 17:34)

Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!

__________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Wednesday 16:30)

Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?

Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)

Mary Macdonald: hell yeah

Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc

Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius

tho ik its a foreign concept to you

Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously

And of course I wanna spy on them

Remus Lupin: but still...yes

Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds

YAAY

Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 

Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??

Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up

Remus Lupin: how did u know that?

Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno

Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 

Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?

Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them

Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd

Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you

I’m her best friend

Sirius Black: prove it

Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)

Marlene Mckinnon: shit

Mary Macdonald: …...fair

___________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:45)

Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 

Lily Evans: ik u cant 

Jamie Potter: 

Lily Evans: <3

;)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 

(Thursday 19:48)

Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 

lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!

what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!

(Message read at 19:49)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:51)

Jamie Potter: :D

_______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Friday 16:30)

Jamie Potter: u ready?

Lily Evans: yes ! 

wher r u

Jamie Potter: cool

just reached ur door

______________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:30)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 

its only me and marlene here

Mary Macdonald: just outta class 

be there in 10

Remus Lupin: home

Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream

Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?

Remus Lupin: me too pls pete

Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too

mint chocolate chip for me pls

Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??

Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!

Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc

Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!

also charcoal ice cream pls

just as black as my soul

Peter Pettigrew : ...k

U marls??

Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:45)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?

theyll b here any sec

Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here

except for u and marlene

where tf r u guys?!!???

Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 

where tf r u guys????

Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here

Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?

Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 

Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!

Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?

why?

Sirius Black: to dress up ofc

Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?

lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this

and v cant afford that!!!!

Remus Lupin: that is smart….

didnt expect it from u both

Sirius Black: fuck you remus

fuck you

Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??

Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 

a gily suit

a moon suit

rat whiskers and ears

a tree hat and glasses

and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend

Dorcas Meadowes: ………….

Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw

Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here

 Sirius Black: remy how could u

Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 

i thought u loved me

Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?

Remus Lupin: also sirius 

do u really think that we can pull it off?

itd be tooo obvious 

Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them

Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened

do you think that theyll realise that its us???????

Remus Lupin: …...point

Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 

marls gonna wear the gily suit

the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 

Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 

and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:55)

Sirius Black: ok now positions!

marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 

nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside

Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???

Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously

Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 

Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??

Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 

ever heard of privacy?

Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?

Sirius Black: thank u dorcas

Mary Macdonald: yeah!

exactly 

Remus Lupin: …………

i give up 

Peter Pettigrew: Just now?

Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/

Sirius Black: that was a good laugh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:04)

Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 

Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together

Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!

Sirius Black: yes

and yes they look perfect 

our ship is finally sailing 

Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose

Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus

Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more

Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?

Sirius Black: lolol

the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks

Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills

Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????

im ur girlfriend!!!

Mary Macdonald: lolololol

she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol

Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same

i thought she had more sense than that

Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know

Sirius Black: u would know

Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!

neat

Mary Macdonald: lily did it too

Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 

Remus Lupin: ya think?

u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie

Sirius Black: nah she didnt 

if anything lily hates how much she likes her now

Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?

Sirius Black: yeah ig

jamie wants it to be all fancy

Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup

Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup

Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em

Thought she wouldn’t today

At least

Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one

Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol

Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 

Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome

Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!

and including taylor’s song

shehgeueytoaknd

Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 

Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months

:/

Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it

Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it

Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 

Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other

Sirius Black: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here

Sirius Black: spinach soup???

ewww jamie 

Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig

Awesome choice 

Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things

smh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:16)

Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?

we ordered a lasagna 

Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 

ohhh look 

Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY

Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??

Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no

Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute

Remus Lupin: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date

Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 

Remus Lupin: or come here with us

Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then

Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah

It was quite a rough time for her

Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss

I have a question 

Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?

I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much

Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete

Sirius Black: LOLOLOL

Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 

Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so

None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 

Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi

u r ace

dorcas nd mary r pans

remus is gay

jamie is lesbian 

Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 

u already knew that but still

Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 

Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow

Ok

Thanks guys 

Sirius Black: np pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!

Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect

Sirius Black: nauseating more like

Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off

Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily

even first fits in the category 

Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!

Bold

Sirius Black: is that…...snep

Remus Lupin: snep?????

Dorcas Meadowes: Where

Sirius Black: behind u guys

Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK

Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date

Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….

Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit

Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright

Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig

Mary Macdonald: yup hes in

Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD

COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!

Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/

Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon

Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf

Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?

Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?

Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant

oh we r playing call remus wrong names 

sry I didnt realise

 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do

Sirius Black: LAMES

Remus Lupin: but i had to lol

i think v should go stop him from disturbing them

Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way

its too late

Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them

Sirius Black: ill tackle him 

Marlene McKinnon: perfect

Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too

not that im worried abt that

tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 

Sirius Black: v shld go

Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves

But ok!

Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 

Sirius Black: but im their best friend

Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking

Sirius Black: NOOOOOO

Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name

Sirius Black: seems that way

if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it

Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….

Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know

Sirius Black: ok im gonna go

Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??

Sirius Black: lol yes

Marlene Mckinnon: is he

is he pointing over to us

Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us

Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?

Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid

_________

“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 

“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 

“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 

Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”

“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 

“Marlene,” Lily warned. 

“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 

“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.

“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.

“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 

Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 

“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 

“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”

“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”

“Lily, please.”

Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 

 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 

Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 

“I...“ Lily began.

“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”

“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 

“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 

“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 

“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 

The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 

“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 

Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.

“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”

“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 

Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 

“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”

“So we would be incognito, Mary”

“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.

“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 

“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 

“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 

“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 

“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 

“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 

“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 

“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 

[pianjeong]

abby i see u 👀 and as punishment ur doing the asks in stemverse flavor. jeong jeong. sokka. and zuko. love u tho. also full disclosure 100% of sabby is being irresponsible rn i reblogged an ask game too and i havent finished ch. 8 yet so cant judge...

sonny i...this is a gift not a punishment (punnishment) skksdjs we r simply two easily distractible gals doing our best! fyi im doing this specifically for stemverse as u hav requested SO am not doing the notp question bc it’s my verse and i make the rules

stemverse jeong jeong

Sexuality Headcanon: gay as the day is long he is an icon and we love him

Gender Headcanon: male

A ship I have with said character: piandao / jeong jeong aka the impossible professor husbands truly it’s about late nights grading papers......and leading fieldwork trips together......and being hypocrites telling each other to sleep when theyre both awake at 3am...the aesthetic is deafening

A BROTP I have with said character: jeong jeong and toph are the chaotic dirt gremlin squad toph marches into jj’s office at the beginning of the year and declares HIM her adviser and he just. doesn’t say no. do they just eat dirt sometimes? yeah maybe

A random headcanon: hmm he once nearly burned down the specialty lab building that the dept had to fight for extra funding to get bc he wanted to know how close he could get to melting olivine if he lit a diamond anvil cell on fire (DO NOT TRY AT HOME....AND DONT TELL MY MINERALOGY PROF I SAID THIS)

General Opinion over said character: i would die for him truly he is a disaster gremlin but hes MY disaster gremlin (-piandao probably)

stemverse sokka

Sexuality Headcanon: that boi is a bi disaster!!!

Gender Headcanon: male

A ship I have with said character: sokka / zuko obviously skdkjs i simply structured this entire au around sticking them in a closet but u know.....nbd

A BROTP I have with said character: sokka and suki we all kno sokka drinks his respect women juice and he’s ready to throw down with whatever idiot put the engineering building closer to the frat quad than the sorority quad,,they kick ass together and i love it for them

A random headcanon: he once aced the final for the hardest engineering course in his track and then immediately licked toph’s foot because she dared him to

General Opinion over said character: genius boi!!! book smart street stupid representation!!! engineers DO do humanities, fuck you!!

stemverse zuko

Sexuality Headcanon: gay but only out to the gaang bc bitchfather ozai is the worst

Gender Headcanon: male

A ship I have with said character: sokka / zuko, see above :0

A BROTP I have with said character: zuko and katara they meet in a cs class (shes a cs major) and she thinks he’s one of Those Dudes that think women shouldnt be in cs and then he punches someone who says that to her in the face and they were friends ever since even tho she keeps telling him she can take care of those men herself :0

A random headcanon: subsists for several weeks without going to the dining hall bc he has an industrial sized box of ramen under his bed (my roommate did this)

General Opinion over said character: want 2 wrap in a blanket and put on sokka’s doorstep i want him to have only nice things

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[alukaforyou]

um i just thought of smth. so lets say i get some job in the future, u kno how Adult Life™ is like... u working & getting home to have no energy to do things u actually enjoy, and ur schedule never lines up w ur friends schedules so u just start seeing friends / non coworkers less like.. thats a huuuge fear of mine. and take me & my bf for example, i see him about once a week, and once in a blue moon, i'll see him twice a week or even once every two weeks. thats us with Me being completely Free & scheduleless & Him being His Own Boss so hes not under the thumb of someone who gives you a schedule. and we dont see each other on consistent days either. so ur telling me its all downhill from here? i'll just be working and seeing people i love less and less? and dont say "get married / move in together" cuz 1. the only way id move in w him is if we r married also.. inlaws?? im scurred 2. we r both not too crazy abt getting married anyway so that might not even realistically happen 3. ok i might see my s.o every day *IF* we were married But what abt My Friends??? this prospect is absolutely heartbreaking and distressing to me. what is the point of anything if i cant spend time with the people i love? like.. yall live like this? this is acceptable to most working adults? cant relate. if this happens - its the worse case scenario but a very realistic one - even if i'm absolutely miserable, i'll put up with it for exactly one year, just so i wont be quitting without a fight, but after that im gonna just yeet off the mortal coil cuz on god its not worth it for me. it was a good run, i had fun! hopefully, i'm somehow grossly miscalculating or smth and everything will be okay, that would be good (like i remember in highschool - college, my best friends and i - we all went to diff schools - would get extremely busy for certain periods and go weeks, sometimes months w.o hanging out and i got through that? so idk), but just mentally confronting the worse case here, it feels... weirdly calm and peaceful. like i know exactly what to do and i have clear expectations for myself / my life.

[zealusts-blog]

❛ ⋆ ․˙✰ nora grace nguyen is graduating in a month with plans to attend harvard in the fall to study law and political science. four years complete and she’s leaving the hamptons being remembered as the zealous, which makes perfect sense considering how articulate, venturesome, pugnacious, and unpredictable she is. that title landed them the senior class superlative of most likely to be arrested for organizing a sit- in protest at the local kill shelter. you’ll know they’re around when you hear hierarchy - cailin russo coming from a car this summer. speaking of summer, i hear their plans are to spend it doing a part-time internship at a law firm. morning coffee and afternoon boba, shiba cuddles, sitting in during public court cases, and plaid skirts with oversized knit sweaters.

hello it me ellie (she/her/hers pronouns) and this is nora! i havent done an intro or been in a rp in 10 years so please excuse this post if its awkward n stuff im cringing just writing this bc i forgot how awkward an intro post is like wow... ANYWAYS! i’m vv excited to b here and rp with u guys, love u guys, b here w u guys, all that nice cute stuff w u guys!!! 

u can read nora’s stats here and learn more about her here but like that page is  really long n lengthy so i’m gonna some her up for u guys as best as i can but if its gets long n lengthy too pls forgive me thank u im trying 

her family is wealthy bc of their role in pharmacy work. their family owns  a couple pharmacies (mainly in new york, new jersey, n rhode island) and has some investments in other companies as extra money

theyre wealthy and could stop working for like maybe 10 years if they pleased, but the nguyens dont rest and thats y nora’s parents are absent alot 

bc her parents r absent since theyre always working, nora had to grow up faster to b independent and also raise her younger sister, daisy jane

shes mature but only bc asian parents love handing off parenting duties to their eldest daughter and that happens to b nora! it’s only two of them but still she gave up part of her childhood to p much raise daisy jane on her own despite her parents being alive n healthy

shes a big time activist and feminist and is very upfront about how she feels about certain things and about policies and regulations she thinks should b changed/fixed/removed/etc. 

her dream is harvard and thats been her only dream and plan since she was born. her parents gave it to her and she’s never changed it bc (1) her parents r strict n (2) she craves their acceptance and wants to make them proud and if it means listening to what they want from her then she’ll do it 

shes v open about what she believes in and will talk about it and will also fight for it. 

shes always willing to fight someone and have a debate over anything like it’s more fun for her if its something surrounded politics or stuff going on around the world but also if u wanna argue about how people who aren’t lactose intolerant are abnormal then she’ll b a square bc its literally not normal for ur body to still b able to breakdown lactose enzymes 

shes somewhere in the top 10/15 of the entire class, but shes worked hard to get where she is. studying doesnt come easy to her and she doesnt have photographic memory. she feels really dumb bc of that and hates how she has like... work to get the grade bc she wishes she was smart n could read the textbook once and get it but shes not wired like that n so  a bitch struggles w that n feeling like shes not as smart as her parents want her to b n it doesnt help that her parents let her know that

shes v sarcastic n argumentative and funny and sometimes sexual but she’d never act on those sexual things she says shes an innocent n too shy to b upfront like that u feel 

like she never deters from an argument n hates losing but if u say something too sexual for her n make an initiative to do it then she’ll back down n shy away like thats the only way u can win an argument w her otherwise she’ll keep pulling shit out of her ass until she wins or u call some truce (but in nora’s mind she won bc who backs away from a fight? hm not her!)

nora struggles talking about her feelings and will literally not talk about deep shit about herself like  ya she’ll voice her opinions n fight for it n shit but if u wanna talk about her parent’s incoming divorce, her academic struggles, her need for her parents acceptance, n shit like that then good luck trying to make her talk n shit  bc she wont unless ur close to her and have her 100% complete trust 

this is already long and im blanking on what to include bc idk whats important important about nora that i need to include here but! feel free to read the tidbits page for her u’ll get to know nora better n  know lil like... things about her like hades, veganisms, protests, driving, etc. 

i’m also a slut for plots so if u wanna plot with me for ur chara and nora then please reply to this with a word or something so i know and i’ll come to u!! id tell u guys to like this post n then i’ll come to u but sometimes im not sure if people  r liking the post so its like.. an acknowledgment or bc they actually wanna plot idk if that makes sense pls help me?? ANYWAYS below r some connection ideas that i thot would b cool for nora aha x 

neighbors! 

(1) theyre friendly and hung out a lot bc u kno neighbors n its easy to go to each others houses. the person would also b friends w nora’s little sister daisy jane bc when theyre home and nora is on parent duty she n daisy jane r a duo 

(2) theyre not friendly n they cant stand each other we love a good notp! we can expand more  on this if ur interested but rn my mind is blanking

childhood besties:

(1) maybe things went sour and now theyre enemies like maybe its a betrayal or something but like! besties for the resties to besties for never r always so beautiful im a slut for those type of connections

(2) things didnt go sour but they just drifted and now theyre kinda awkward but try really hard for it to not b awkward??  they knew each other like the back of their hands and now theyre kinda like?? r u still the same or did u change?? whats up whats happening??? 

one sided crush: nora could have a crush on them thats ongoing or is new, but its just a crush and nora actually acting on it is so so rare like she’ll punch someone for saying some racist shit to her but will cry if someone forces her to shoot her shot

(1) maybe the person knows and teases her for it n nora hates them for it but is also like :) but also :( u feel like does that even make sense? 

(2) the person doesnt kno n is kinda just like what the fuck y is nora so timid n shy around me when she just decked a guy for blatantly littering at the beach and saying the beach should b more trash cans if they didnt want people littering 

enemies! 

friends!

tutor: maybe a tutor?? like nora isnt dumb and shes not failing like she’s in the top 10 of  the class but that doesnt mean she’s the smartest person and not struggling trying to keep her grades up. having someone she can study with n can like. help her would b really good for her 

(1) twist is that it could b secretive bc maybe nora doesnt want people knowing that she has a tutor or that the person tutoring her is her tutor for whatever reason. again i can expand on this if ur interested!!!!

bad influence: someone to get her to wild n out n like tell her to forget her parents n responsibilites n shit. maybe make her hoe it out so she can stop getting cold u feel what im saying?? idk if u do im literally just rambling at this point im so sorry

i’m out of connection ideas rn but! if none of these r interesting enough for u then we can do something else like if u have a connection u want filled or like??? we can just think of something else that’ll b more fitting im down for anything n everything 

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

[threeracha]

Hi!!! I just wanted to say I love your blog and i’m curious and i don’t know if you’ve done this: if you could ship your mutuals with sk members, who would you ship them with?

hi owo ;;; i lov u more!! pslkfsldkfjsl i did do this like ageS AGO SO NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHO I”VE SHIPPED ALR BUT IMA TRY FOR NEW MUTUALS FOR MOST MEMBERS :”””)

woojin: @bangchant ; LMAO OK i told lina she is like my adopted mom mutual she just gives super comforting / parent-type vibes n i get the same vibe from woojin so this would honestly be a Dream Ship 🗣✊🏻my PARENT SHIP NEEDS to sail.. even a lil bit pwease

chan: @kimwoojin ; T B H JAIME IS SO OO OOO OOOO soft for chan like i just Cant imagine him with anyone else……hands down………chrisme is Superior ;; like jaime sends the utmost cute things abt chan???????? Chan seems to like cute things n acts super cute too i think they would both just die from each other’s cuteness………………a desirable goal for relationships of course;; 

minho: @realstraykids ; listen i’m actually trying so hard NOT to ship mutuals w/ their bias UNLESS IT”S LIKE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN …. n .. here we are….. eminho 🗣💗💞💓em is so relatable n approachable u dont even SEE her mEGA TALENT COMING UNTIL IT HITS U IN THE FACE :// n minho seems so shy n cute but he’s actually SATAN trapped in a pretty boy :// they’ve both got hidden characteristics that = Power Duo tbh

changbin: @sklminho ; lmaolmao OK i feel like sav n changbin r both creatures that try to avoid anything cute or emotional at ALL COSTS but that just makes them cuter u kno :// lol i just remember sav making a personal abt “how to get emotions!!!” which was so funny to me nd in the hyungline vlive changbin was being all cute n minho was kinda like… coddling him n then suddently changbin is like “yikes! get tF off pls ://” so evidently two emotionally shy creatures will be able to make the gr8st pair 

hyunjin: @joyrene ; omg stella is like SOSOSOS soft n cute like she’s p shy…not unveiling her anon cover for a WHOLE MONTH SLKDFJLSDKFJ & hj seems to get pretty awk-shy a lot n IDK THEY JUST SEEM LIKE ULT FIT ;—) they would probably be able to extract their true personalities from each other easily ;]]]]

seungmin: @hyuunjins ; allison’s bias is seungmin it just FITS THAT THEY BE TOGETHER ;; they both SEEM sweet but actually arejust hella talented demons ready to give u Love n attack u at the same time ;;;;;;;;;; they’re both really just Big Teases 😪😷

jisung: @himeaegyo ‘ i just… love jiren so Much. jisung gets teased by the members quite a bit but i imagine karen being his Best Hypewoman ever :( they also both seem to take care of other ppl super well like jisung seems to always make sure no one is left out & that everyone is heard.. like i’ve noticed he’s very good at paying attention to everyone who’s talking n is Actually listening & KAREN IS SUPER thoughtful like that too like ;_______; she has a super altruistic personality and i think she’d lit take all the unhappiness in the world for herself if it meand no one else ever would be sad ;;;;; 

felix: @hyunnlix ; ok alyssa is also SO SOFT. felix also seems to be of a soft / shy nature and i imagine alyssa n felix would just be the Cutest pair ever :///// like alyssa is always so nice to me… almost TOO nice to me I DONT DESRVE AND FELIX IS ALWAYS JABBING RANDO COMPLIMENTS SPECIFICALLY TO CHANGBIN BUUUUT LIKE ok alyssa n felix both give off vibes that make me wanna ProteCT

jeongin: @seoulseungmins ; even tho zee threw jeongin under the bus i think they would be the Cutest together ://// like they’re both just super :( cute :( babes :(((( like zee is super social nd checks on me even tho iM SRSLY THE WORST REPLIER IN THE WROLD AND JEONGIN IS ALSO ONE OF THOSE “NEVER HURT A FLY” TYPE PPL IN MY OPINION LIKE HE SAID HE SMILES ALL THE TIME BC PPL THOUGHT HE WAS HARD TO APPRAOCH IF HE DIDNT SO I FEEL LIKE THEYRE BOTH JUST SUPER ACCOMMODATING N CARING nd just… Yes. 💓🗣

THIS GOT SO LONG I GOT SORTA CARRIED AWAY i hope u all loved ur ships tho ;—-p 😈😈😈

[chimchimchoo]

Fly Me to the Moon :: Ch 4

Genre: Pure fluff crack

Word Count: 1,506

Pair: Yoongi x Jimin

Collaborated with @tayvengeance

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

“CHEER UP THIS SAD, EMO BOY!”

02-222-3333

Jimin stared at the note on the bathroom wall for a solid 5 minutes before he pulled out his phone and typed in the number.

authors note: we do not own any of the pictures, for better formatting so it’s more comfortable to read, check it out on AO3! AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944508/chapters/34790039 Twitters: Tae’s Sujin’s <3 - Tae & sujin

Chat With Hobi_wan_kenobi

2015.12.26

12:00

SUGA:

Hey

Hobiiiiiii

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

Hyungg

MY SUGAR

MERRY (belated) CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

SUGA:

You messaged me merry christmas everyday

from the 20th until yesterday

and even though Christmas is over

you are STILL at it

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

*gASP*

Sugar, every day is christmas until January

why are you like this to me :(

don’t kill my christmas spirit

speaking of christmas

did you have a bANGIN NIGHT?

SUGA:

why did you crop that pic of all of us

NO ONE IS SAFE FROM BECOMING A MEME

also

We didn’t have sex

why is that your first thought

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

i’m extremely disappointed

i’ve seen the way you two look at each other

did you at least TELL HIM YOUR FEELINGS?

come on, we all know you two are so whipped for each other

come o  n

SUGA:

I told him.

He reciprocated

we kissed a few times (a lot)

I held him as we slept

Woke up with him

god, do you know how amazing it is to fall asleep

and wake up with someone you love?

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

Oh?

oH

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCKING FINALLY

THANK THE MOTHER FUCKING LORD

TOOK YOU TWO LONG ENOUGH

If either of you hadn’t done anything about it anytime soon

i owuld have smashed your heads together mySELF

SUGA:

You all act as if we’ve been in love for years

and have been putting off our engagement.

I’ve literally known Jimin for like a month.

and

AND

SOCIAL ANXIETY PREVENTS ME FROM HAVING

SIMPLE CONVERSATIONS, OKAY

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

yes i understand that sugar

but in all my years knowing you

i’ve never seen you once look at anyone like this

besides a fucking piano

(at least its a human this time)

(thank fucking god)

SUGA:

IT’S NOT LIKE I WAS GONNA FUCK MY PIANO

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

there arE KINKS OUT THERE HYUNG

KINKS YOU COULDN’T POSSIBLY IMAGINE

it’s okay i’ll love and accept you however you are

:)

SUGA:

My only kink is the way Jimin looks at me

when I know he’s thinking about us

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

jesus christ hyung

you’re whipped

SUGA:

I know.

I am.

Help me.

I don’t know what to do.

I can’t ruin this.

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

this is very cliche

but just keep being yourself hyung

chim chim obviously likes you for who you are

SUGA:

But

what if I do something

and he realizes just how messed up I am?

I can’t bring him home to my family.

Will that ever come between us?

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

Hyung

he likes /you/

not your family

I think the description i wrote before,

“sad emo boy”

just about summed up who you are

and he was drawn in just by those words

you don’t have anything to be concerned about hyung

I hear him mutter about you during dance breaks

and worry about whether you’re getting any sleep or not

it’s kind of disgusting how much he worries

SUGA:

He texts me a lot late at night.

checking in on me.

I kind of look forward to those texts.

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

well i mean

he is your /boyfriend/ now

what kind of person would you be

if you didn’t

SUGA:

Holy shit.

He’s my boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend

And his name is Park Jimin

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

damn fucking right you do

now go tell that to the whole world

Chat With YOU MOTHERFUCKERS STOP CHANGING THE CHAT NAME

2015.12.26

12:30

SUGA:

Hey

guys

I’m dating Jimin

can you believe?

My Boyfriend Is Park Jimin

iq.148:

look at him you guys

the emo boy is whipped

Worldwide Handsome:

About time you two got together.

Kookie Monster:

But lik Jimins a whol soft boy

nd ur a whol emo boy

The.V.Zone:

YES. Y E S

I FUCKIF TOLD U GYUS THAT THEY WOULD HIT IT OFF ON CHRISTMAS

Kookie hun bun i kno ur my lovely bf but u owe me $50

Kookie Monster:

they warnd me abt ths in High school musical

i shldv known

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

SUGA:

WAIT YOU BET ON THIS, TAE?

The.V.Zone:

oh cum on

it was 2 easy

evryone was in on it too

rite guise

iq.148:

what

uh

no

Worldwide Handsome:

I did no such thing.

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

tae what are you on?

Kookie Monster:

Tae, tht was jst u n me

The.V.Zone:

oh damn

well i have $50 now

DRINKS ON ME GUYS

except for kook

Kookie Monster:

u cnt use a minrs money 2 buy drinks

The.V.Zone:

oh shush honey

money iz money

juss give it to me in cash boo

in fact chim chim is going to yoongi’s tonight

just come over

u kno

come over™

SUGA:

ew don’t solicit sex from Jungkook on this chat

iq.148:

jesus christ taehyung

go fold your laundry or something

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

Worldwide Handsome:

You know, sugar free cereal was created to help young boys

to stop masterbating, because people believed the sugar in

their cereal caused impure thoughts.

SO STOP EATING THE SUGAR FREE CEREAL

AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

The.V.Zone:

yes mom™

SUGA:

Speaking of Jimin

where is he?

I thought FOR SURE my boyfriend would have something

to say regarding my initial message

The.V.Zone:

he’s prolly busy eating sugar free cereal

Kookie Monster:

but he dsnt need

wait

WAIT

th cereal stops u frm jackn off

i get it now

The.V.Zone:

oh you innocent boy you

my baby boo

this is why i love you

iq.148:

jesus christ

Worldwide Handsome:

Mochi_Moves:

I woke up to 65 messages

what’s going on

Aww Mint Yoongi

look at you

telling the whole world i’m your boyfriend

c:

i love waking up to sweet things

SUGA:

You went BACK to sleep after I went home?

baby, we could have stayed in bed longer if you

were tired.

Mochi_Moves:

Its hard to sleep when you’re on my mind all night c:

wait WHEN DID TAE MAKE A BET ON US

Worldwide Handsome:

Oh my goD!

They are so domESTIC~

Kookie Monster:

aftr u sent th frst txt to him

Hobi_wan_kenobi:

I’m gonna throw up

they’re so fucking cute

The.V.Zone:

Kook honey why dont u luv me like this

SUGA:

Hoseok I’ll make you rue the day u called me emo

Mochi_Moves:

but honey if he didn’t

he wouldn’t have written your number on the stall

and we would have never met like this :c

Kookie Monster:

ur not a rmantic lik yoongi

SUGA:

Call me emo boy in every universe, so that I know

Jimin will find me in each one.

Mochi_Moves:

Awww Mint Yoongi

you’re making me blush

<3

iq.148

eugh

stop

pls

Worldwide Handsome:

luckily the other one is always in his producing room

so while we do live with him

we like never see him

It’s like living with Batman.

We know The Batman lives with us, but we only ever see Bruce Wayne.

SUGA:

damn I have enough emotional baggage to be compared

to Batman.

Kookie Monster:

Iv nvr seen Yoongi n Batman in th same room

iq.148:

Kook…

The.V.Zone:

oh honey, this is why i luv u

Mochi_Moves:

He’s always in the producing room??

Does he at least come out to eat??

Jin hyung do you feed him?

Does he sleep?

Worldwide Handsome:

You think I slave away making the finest cuisine available

in my price range and DON’T force him to eat it?

Trust me, I get him to eat.

It’s when I have to work late and can’t make dinner that he’s

on his own.

Mochi_Moves:

I’m glad I can count on you hyung c:

iq.148:

why am I never around for Jin’s best meals :(

SUGA:

Try not working the graveyard shift

Then maybe you’d get to eat the delicious meals he makes

Worldwide Handsome:

I mean I label the tupperware with the leftovers.

What more do you want from me?

Is it too much work to open a fucking refrigerator, Namjoon?

SUGA:

holy shit take this to the roomie chat

Kookie Monster:

Tae my mum said I cn com ovr tonite btw

The.V.Zone:

ahh yes

come over™

Hobi_wan_kenobi

jfc tae keep it in your pants

Worldwide Handsome:

HE ASKED HIS MOTHER PERMISSION TO COME OVER TO

YOUR PLACE

NOT CUM ALL OVER YOUR PLACE

JFC

The.V.Zone:

yes mom™

Mochi_Moves:

Honey I don’t think I should come over tonight

someone needs to babysit these two

SUGA:

Mochi_Moves:

or

you can come babysit with me

c:

The.V.Zone:

no plz

i dont want to see u 2 droolin over each other

SUGA:

okay, but like weren’t you two literally together

the entire week of christmas?

why the rush to have Kookie over, Tae?

The.V.Zone:

:)

iq.148:

that smile concerns me

Kookie Monster:

Tae, u said wed wtch all th Iron Man mvies

SUGA:

This is so innocent

Worldwide Handsome:

I don’t think Jungkook knows how to even kiss with

a lil bit of tongue.

The.V.Zone:

you clearly don’t know him :)

Mochi_Moves:

tae please keep this to yourself thx

Kookie Monster:

Taeeee wat lies r u feedn

SUGA:

Jungkook… ISN’T innocent?

Is

Is that what I’m getting?

Kookie Monster:

>.<

dnt lisn to Tae

The.V.Zone:

he’s full of surprises I tell u

iq.148 left this chat

Worldwide Handsome left this chat

Mochi_Moves left this chat

Hobi_wan_kenobi left this chat

SUGA left this chat

The.V.Zone:

it’s just u n me bby

Kookie Monster:

ur tearin ths famly aprt

The.V.Zone:

i only need u in my life <3

Kookie Monster:

[fridgeleech-archive]

ART SOURCE

FIRST OF ALL HOLY CRAP GUYS 150+ !!!? I am so blessed to have all of you around && interacting with my patrick seriously. i made this blog when i was trying to get into the groove of roleplaying i was so nervous about entering the IT fandom only ever being in the Supernatural fandom && fandomless ocs but this fandom has been so kind and welcoming && has made me meet some of the most wonderful people. i feel like i’ve known you guys since i beginning of time && i cant wait to meet more of you lovely people 

ALSO NOTE: if i missed anyone its probably because i’m scattered brain af im sure theres more people but tumblr ate the last follow forever post i made so i had to spend another hour on this. feel free 2 come into my askbox if i missed u or somethin!!

THE BOWERS GANG: 

@spookcdman CHARLIE, MY DAD MY EVERYTHING !!  You are one of my very best friends on here && i love you so much full homo no homo. i will love you till the end of time && you’ll always be my best dad friend seriously. i feel like i can tell you anything && everything at this point even though we’ve known each other for only 3 weeks. 

@henrybcwers YOU KNOW I FUCKING LOVE YOU !!! I love you i love our ship i love talking to you i love our dumb little plots && rps && EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU I JUST LOVE !!! I LOOK FORWARD TO TALKING TO YOU ALL THE FUCKIN TIME OK !! 

@victheprick bOY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !! I love your vic && and we def need more threads together ok i need more PAT && VIC STUFF. Tbh you’re honestly one of the nicest people && i love talking to you ok 24/7 all day everyday. 

@noteddieble ok we have barely talked but you’re so amazing && i love talking to you && having my patrick stuff eddie into fridges alright like come @ me cause i def NEED to talk to you more 

@hughhoncy OH MY GOD OK !!! I love you so fucking much?? Like?? honestly i love how we both share a love for Dennis && the gang && Patrick && the bowers gang && i love our silly little im rps (?) like seriously they crack me up every friggin time ok && also your dennis is so spot on?? like he’s so close to canon it just blows me tf away every thread i read of yours

@vicviinegar we barely talk but you are so fuckin’ funny && i just love your Mac so much because you put so much love && effort into him && he’s so spot on && we def need to talk more i demand it the silver god demands it

@hockstctter  MY HOCKSTETTER TWIN !!! you know i love you with all my heart !! I won’t lie when i first saw that there was another patrick i was all like “hmmm” && i got jealous @ first cause like yOUR WRITING IT SO AMAZING && GR8  AND IM SO GLAD I FOLLOWED YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE HONESTLY A SWEET HEART && I LOVE THAT WE BOTH HAVE A SHARED LOVE FOR THIS TRASH SON && I CANT WAIT TO START OUR TWIN VERSE !!

@clownlike honestly i love you && your art so much. we dont talk a lot but everytime i talk to you your such a sweet heart && your so fuckin talented with your writing && your art I won’t lie i make THE DUMBEST noise && grin so wide everytime i see you make patrick art for me or just any art in general !! ILY!

@ethrealtrauma AVERY BABY BOY MY BROTHER !!! Honestly first of all, you’re so wonderful to talk to && your such a sweetheart I love talking to you so much even though we haven’t talked a lot so far i can just tell we’re going to be bffs ok. sECOND OF ALL YOU MADE A FRIGGIN AVERY !! Do you know how long this blog had been SUFFERIN WITHOUT AN AVE? Like 5ever ok && im so excited to have all of the awful threads w/ u. some brother bondin. 

@reddreaded��� Ok you are honestly so fuckin hilarious. i love all the patrick memes you send me they legit hurt my sides from laughing && ily for that. we def ??? need to talk more tbh?? cause like you’re just so funny && nice && amazing ?? 

@scarelosers​ OK I’VE KNOWN YOU FOR FOREVER NOW. I’ve know you for how long? For a year now? I’ve known you all the way back when you had a Rick && when I had Marshall. i love you so much && i love how we always find each other && are always in the same fandoms @ the same time no matter what. i love writing && shipping w/ you && your actually the reason i made patrick in the first place && got so into IT  !! I just,,,i love you so much ok?? like forever && ever && you know that already <33

@notrealenoughfor LISTEN GEOFF !! We barely talk but you’re such a nice person && i really wanna talk to you && get to know you better because tbh you’re so nice && funny. also btw thank you for making the group chat so I have somewhere to dump all my pregnant patrick pictures. love u 5ever. 

@realfor ZACH, MY UNCLE, MY EVERYTHING!! u make our little family w/ @papcrman​ complete, u r the bread and butter. you’re so fuckin sweet and i just ?? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH? I LOVE ALL YOUR WRITING && I JUST LOVE U?? Like serious i cant even begin to explain how amazing u are && how much i love you ily 5ever uncle <333 <3 ahem,,,i mean...ur ok bro u chill no homo no homo

FLAMERS 

(AKA PEOPLE I LOVE && ADMIRE && WANT TO WRITE MORE WITH) 

@hestorian @inhalingballoons @fuckindildos @fuckingladies @boardwalkbeauty @frespirited @manquln @gazeeebos @lackedfear @wheezydoll @rabbison @desxderium @itisaspook @curisewer @trashbeep @badokdok @pastclosed @falserep @patrickhockstetter @tozcer @tozielous @fucking-trashmouth @neuroticstuttering @scnguinc @trashmouthsister @getsbeeped @s-stutters @derrybcrn @simplywas @zcphira @dollcursed @trashmouthd @angelcfsin (bae<3) @girlsfeared @spookmyfricnds @taintedbone @bloodworship @compcnction @stillcominback @sitched (so what’s the sitch?) @flcted @hornscrown @you-float-tooo @bevcrlymcrsh @celebrityvictim @praechers @ohvnger​ @neverfeared​ @deadmarket​ @hcircut​ @seemscreepy​ @wheeziess​ @godlyfire​ @fuckiingclown​ @fratriciide​ (u kno i love you boo <3) @haystaxx​ @finalslay​ @scribblingstars​ @freeses​ @ssxgeorgie​ @mafclie​ @shadowfound​ @couldadodged​ @urises​ @hystearial​

@trashfear​ @sncrlisms​ @oflosers​ @clownfeared​ @dcgausscr​ @inhalingballoons​ @hauntsboy​ @bloodlovcd​ @foulfear​ @ripsoms​ @soughtballoons​ @ittakesmanyforms​ @barmitzvahed​ @clownfought​ @scabiaus​ @floatn​ @monstrauma​ @derrykat​ @guiltrauma​ @silverawayyy​ @sicklyguilt​ @tinycomedian​ @fearlacking​ @hefloatstoo​ @pettywise​ @bcbysitter​ @thrustsfists​ @lionguilt​ @unholyhunter​ (OF COURSE I LOVE YOU) @frankencasted​ @flutefeared​ @plainaudra​ @clownfearing​ @birdtrauma​ @eaterofwcrlds​ @wiinstons​ @hallowedbethyname​ @abrastcne​ @chariotsofthegodsman@cxrsedlife (my boo<3) 

[thotrichie]

🐝!

lovely asks!

tag three friends and your three favorite things about them!

THIS GOT EXTREMELY LONG SO UUUHHHH UNDER TH CUT BINCHES

@kar3marina - THEY R MY FUCKIGN QPP ND I WUV THEM A LOT OK, MY 3 FAVE THINGS ABT THEM HAVE 2 BE: 

HOW FUNNY THEY ARE!!! ki has this specific type of humor thts jst rly hilarious n clicks in w/ my humor as well so jokes r easy 2 pass through w/ us bc we both know our limits n whats funny 2 each other!!

THEIR GENUINENESS!!!! they r literally th most genuine person u could meet, th fierce loyalty n care they hav towards th ppl in their life is intense despite th shit theyve gone through n continue 2 go through they rly do try their best 2 ensure tht th world around their friends feels like home tbh

THEIR RESILIENCE!!! its sth i can greatly admire since theyre still going super strong, continuing on n looking ahead 2 the future even tho theyre not sure of what th future may consist of n even if they get confused at times they still strive on 2 ensure a future for themself nd thts sth i can deeply look up 2. they have such a big, kind heart, nd they rly mean a lot 2 me tbh

@werewolfeddie - BETCHA DIDNT EXPECT 2 BE ON HERE HUH U STINKY THOT?

OK SO WE JST MET N ALL IK BUT UR LIKE. SUCH A COOL PERSON??? even tho we haven’t talked a lot i love our convos 2gether since theyre usually p fun nd consist of th wildest jokes which always makes me laugh my ass off tbh-- makes me look forward 2 future convos we have!!! 

U CARE A LOT!!! like ok ik its mostly jokes n all w/ the insomnia thing, it’s now a running gag between us w/ how fucked my sleeping schedule gets, but it’s nice 2 like idk. hav tht kinda care since my insomnia rly is the worst so being reminded (or in this case Scolded smh) 2 go 2 sleep is like p cool bc i never used 2 have friends who realized how important tht shit was-- theyd jst encourage me 2 stay up which fucked w/ my insomnia more i now realize so fvgkjdgvfnj THANKS FOR CARING NERD

U LIKE TOS!!! this is. an extremely random thing 2 add 2 this but hear me out ok stinky, there arent actl many ppl i know who are rly into tos so having another friend who plays that game or like. WANTS to play games / hang out w/ me is jst idk rly wonderful tbh-- hanging out w/ u is usually super fun tbh also ur such a fuckign nerd nd just kno id gladly die for u bc ur such a cool nd important friend.

@idealkey - MY FUCKIGN BEST FRIEND??? THE SWEETEST ND MOST KIND ND CARING ND IMPORTANT PERSON 2 ME EVER??? I LOV U SM!!!!!

OK SO. CROWN CARES A FUCK TON!!!! LIKE i’ve honestl never met more of a caring person whose felt more like home than this nerd. they constantly try to make their loved ones happy n make them feel cared for, they constantly do their best to keep ppl steady when times r rough, they r constantly just there no matter what happens nd they inspire me 2 be a better person. they inspire me 2 wanna help n love others as much as they do.

THEY ARE RLY PATIENT!!!! this is sth thts rly important when being close 2 me bc im a mess, im all over the place a lot of the time, i don’t always reply to 1-1 convos simply on th basis tht i either cant or i forget nd they understand this. they r so understanding nd so patient nd idk they know me rly well, they always try 2 coax me into convos when they can nd i cant stress how appreciative i am of them being here in my life like they are.

THEYRE SOM1 I CAN LOOK UP TO!!!! i dont rly hav many ppl i look up to more for th fact tht like things such as tht can kinda confuse me but crown is someone i can actl look up to, someone i can go 2 advice bc i trust their judgement a lot, bc ik how smart they are. theyre a warm blend of logic & care, they balance tht shit out super well, n even tho shits incredibly rough for them rn theyre still going even tho ik sometimes the urge to give in can get hard to push away but still. they strive to continue onward despite any turbulent feelings they might have nd i rly admire tht a ton-- theyre someone i jst kinda wanna learn from, be like in tht they treat th world around them with such respect nd knowledge nd care nd theyre just amazing tbh. i lov u sm crown

(also s/o to @evilbenny, @snowyglobes, @blubberingbill, @foam & others tbh whomst put up w/ me, i love u guys sm)

[seoschangbin]

please rachel is cute!!!😭💕💞congrats on your freedom!!! i saw your text post about having to do some peer grading🥺it sounds tedious): and then people not doing it properly, gosh😤i hope you can get through them quickly n still have time to relax!💕but i’m glad next semester is gonna be full of fun classes, it’s what you deserve!!! i just know it’ll be one of your best semesters yet😌💕and graduating in april!!! omg :0 congrats!!! that’s such a huge accomplishment hehe. -🎁💫

mndjdj UR cute!! tho waking up at 2am to get to the airport aint it 😬✈️ hehe i finished the peergrade it went better than i thought im so dramatic nd mean 😭 (jk i was v nice imo) ur so sweet i dont deserve u 😭i hope 2020 is good for us both and we both have a good winter semester ❤️ (not sure yours is even called winter) scared for grad but also wouldnt be able to do another semester ahah 😥

do you plan on going to higher education or are ya just gonna chill for a bit?😌that’s true!!! almost halfway! and i’m done with my gen ed classes so now i just gotta focus on my major!!! i don’t really like the uni life so this extra year sounds like hell to me😭but i guess i should start trying to put myself out there more n make the best of my last years😭😔man😭well you tried your best rachel!!! n that’s all that matters😌💕-🎁💫

i applied for grad school! but we'll see how that goes 😣 ooh gen ed is the worst imo bc then u get the fun specialized stuff! 😊 oh noo why dont you like uni? 😔 but i hope you find smth to enjoy in the last years, thats when i started to really enjoy it anyways! 🥰

LITERALLY😭😭felix is just the softest n he’s so utterly sweet!!! he’s been making me go through it lately especially since he keeps on being the ultimate cutie and posting stuff of him being at the dog cafe🥺🤲🏼skz variety😚i saw that video where we get to see chan’s studio n he’s with bin n ji and gosh the tiny teasers we got other songs... omg😳💕i’ve been having levantar on repeat as well, i think she’s gonna dethrone i am who for me😳yeah i dance but i’m not good!!!-🎁💫

omg i KNOW rly goin thru it w felix lately 😭 the dog cafe bls mjsjjdd hes so cute 😭 omg i KNOW!! the seungbin duet bls.. for me.. release it 😭 all the songs sound so so lovely im excited for their future 🙇🏻‍♀️ omg levanter.. shes that gal taking over the world! aww its ok hehe if u have fun then thats all that matters ☺️ how did u get into it?

i used to dance when i was younger but i went through a i’m shy phase n gave it up🚶🏻‍♀️recently i’ve been trying to get back into tho!!! my only source of lessons atm is felix’s dance to😚honestly that’s so valid bc skz titles are always so so so good n leave you with vastly different feelings🥺🤲🏼who knows😭😭😭chan does n says the weirdest stuff sometimes but it’s okay he’s still a cutie🥺right!!! i’m really glad they got a win! they're accomplishing so much n i am so!!! proud😭💞-🎁💫

omg felix nd his dance lessons hes so awkward but endearing bro  is there any dances ur looking forward to learning or currently learning?  i agree skz kings of versatility! i know!! they did so much this yr good job skz ️

i wonder if they’re gonna do more stages n if there’s possible for them to get more wins... i think they’re done right? just fansigns left? hmmm. changbin always gotta play hard to get i guess😤and omg yeah i guess so!!! bc i’ve realized that i listen to mostly jype artists :0 sometimes jype is ya kno... Yeah but i can’t deny that i love most of their groups🏃🏻‍♀️-🎁💫

i think they r done! but im honestly so hazy on their schedule i just take what im given LOL 😭 i love looking at fantakens from their fansigns though i hope they have more! mjdjf mood about jype... but their groups.. pure nd good! not rly relates but did u ticket this past week for skz hehe?

i’d like to file a complaint… 😭😭😭hyunjin is just so powerful, i always think how lucky jinnie stans are bc he just loooooves spoiling stays😚💓ooo i’ve heard of victon but i’ve never watched their variety! there’s so many groups i want to eventually listen n learn about tho and victon is one of em!!! i watched a few eps of that mx variety where they’re with PUPPIES😭i still need to finish it but so far… jooheon can get it and by get it i mean n my heart😞🤲🏼-🎁💫

omg i KNOW hj be like bf vibes always spoiling... omg victon is the CUTEST and theyre always on vlive itll be my mission to get you into them! 😉 omg i havent seen the whole puppy one yet but theyre so pure nd cute! i also recommend mx ray hehe! and hes jooheon must be protected hes the sweetest bab!

oh my goodness please i’ve seen clips of that moment!!!! changbin looks ULTRA teeny tiny i couldn’t believe!!!! so much cuteness in such a tiny body😭💞right!!! i love their friendship so much i just love how attentive they are with each other n how they always play around too hehe, its adorable!!! i will never get over felix whipping out that damn egg, king of comedic timing!!! yes!!! chan n changbin!!💕chan is a mega libra n as a fellow libra i couldnt resist! n changbin is changbin🥺-🎁💫

hes the teeniest i always go back to him on the zipline hes my babyyy 😔❤️ he looks scary but hes. baby.. his muscles r made of love.. mjsjd i KNOW feliz out of nowhere: 🥚 cute.. changbin n chan r a good bias pair! just the sweetest

being a changbin stans can never catch a break bc binnie's whole existence is just utter cuteness most times i can’t handle it, i blame his mega leo energy😭i’m into mostly nintendo n indie games! also its super cheesy but i love chill games like farming games or animal crossing! you too rachel! get plenty of rest n omg i hope you enjoy your vacation!!! being at the beach is the best🥰💞gotta apply buckets of sunscreen then!!! i burn so easily too so i feel your pain😔-🎁💫

omg i KNOW bin is just the epitome of cuteness i never thought id ever stan the aegyo boy 😭 ooh! do u have a fav game? and i hear animal crossing is super fun nd i love chill games so not cheesy at all!! im sure when im back the first thing ill say is damn.. never seen my skin peel like That ⚠️

and no worries!!! please take your time n enjoy your vacation😚💞but goodness you’re so sweet! i’m glad i was able to finish the thing i made for You hehe, i’m excited for you to see!!!🥰💞its been lots of fun chatting!!! even tho i feel so bad for rambling on n on at times😭but i hope this week treats you well rachel n you have the loveliest n bestest holiday!!! -🎁💫

i decided not to bring my laptop this time so i wont be able to finish what i had in mind until january i hope u dont mind! but omg stoP u made me smth 😭 ive enjoyed talking to u sm too thank u for being the sweetest 🥰 i hope u enjoy the week as well and take lots of time to rest!

[actualbird]

hey!! if u dont mind me asking, what are ur top 5 bmc fics of all time and why? (including the ones you've already recced!!) anyway i hope ur doing great ily

THIS IS SO DIFFICULT WTF but i did it anyway. pls take note that these r my personal faves and curating this list was HARD bc i love so many fics and there r so many good ones out there hhhhhh!! but i did it!! god!!!! i tried to keep my paragraphs of praise (relatively) short-ish and spoiler free.

(!!!make sure to check the tags and the ratings of these fics!!! my previous bmc rec lists can be found here, here, and here.)

without further ado here is, in no particular order, 4 fics id take a bullet for (I KNO U ASKED FOR 5 but there are only really 4 that struck me to the point that i go on and on about them embarrassingly)

no such mirrors by Kalopsia

Jeremy didn’t know of any other superhero that had to commute.

Sometimes he was alone when he got the text, and it was easy to slide open the window and sling on over to whatever disaster was striking the City That Could Never Catch a Break. Other times it was during things like his parent’s divorce hearings, in Hackensack, and he’d have to spend his bar mitzvah money on a cab ride to the bridge and change into his spandex in the bathroom of a Dunkin’ Donuts. Even at home, he’d have to spend fifteen minutes slinging webs across highways and toll booths and the George Washington Bridge before he even saw what he was up against.

At least Christine could fly.

(or, the AU nobody asked for in which Jeremy is Spiderman and the rest of the crew has superpowers, except Michael, who has No Idea About Anything except for the fact he’s Spiderman’s #1 fan)

ive recced this before and i love it and! just!! GODDD!!!!! so i think this was one of the first fics i read upon falling into bmc and ive followed it even before i started writing any fic for the fandom myself. reading it was definitely a turning point which maybe cemented my stay in this weird corner of the internet because 1) it was the first Full bmc au fic i had read and 2) it’s so good.

exciting! hilarious! an incredible balance between jeremy’s normal life and jeremy’s spiderman life!! im usually very picky with fight scenes (ive been in several spy movie fandoms) but the ones here are so good fast paced and!! the movement!!!! it feels like watching a movie. of course, when the action dies down, this fic goes fucking hard with the emotions. the last few chapters have had me clutching my chest basically the entire time because god. damn. damn. send help. not just to me but like, to various characters in this goddamn fic, jesus. anyway overall this fic, when not hurting me, is so much fun to read.

your song’s got me feeling like by DivineProjectZero

“Actually,” the DJ says, “I watched you dance for a while.”

God, he just wants to have this man for one night.

this fic was literally just posted yesterday but it’s so good it’s my top 4 already. like okay ive been in love with DPZ’s fics since two years ago in the kingsman fandom (which u should also read if ur interested bc they are 👌👌👌) and when i saw she started writing for bmc i did the mental equivalent of vaulting over a 40ft hedge to yell at the world.

GOD THIS FIC!! heads up, this is porn. and it’s damn good at that. the gang are now functional adults and poor jeremy just meets the most gorgeous dj ever. like. okay all the characters here each get a little bit of their own screentime and it’s SO GOOD! the buildup? FANTASTIC. the chemistry? A++++++. the bit after? added 10 years to my lifespan and also made me believe in love. jeremy’s pov here is sooooooo good because it’s the self esteem mess we all know and love but translated into an older (though not exactly surer) version which is just a joy to read. well written and well paced and fantastically characterized and also the smut is incredible. i need to lie down for a bit.

Like Mother, Like Son by hurricanesunny

“Jeremy gets a text from his mom after a year of her being gone without contacting him.”

i have also recced this fic before and the first time i bingeread it i cried twice over the course of six chapters. i mightve cried more had i not paced myself. who knows!!! all i know is that this fic maybe probably totally owns my ass.

this fic is hands down my favorite post-canon fic for like. so many reasons. all the characters in this piece are glorious messes. like, no joke, they mess up and make mistakes and there are consequences everywhere, be it from the events occurring in the fic or events that had happened prior. theres so much . and. then. this fic confronts each and every one of those consequences. the structure of this piece reads like a one by one revenge arc, but instead of revenge, it’s jeremy making amends. AND IT’S THE BEST THING EVER. each chapter is a special kind of catharsis boosted forward by incredible characterization and a pov internal monolog to die for. the writing is phenomenal. the development is like. beyond words and i wanna scream. or maybe cry for the third time. anyway just. it’s good okay. im beginning to lose my coherency.

you give me miles and miles of mountains (and i’ll ask for the sea) by left_uncovered

It scares Jeremy sometimes, the things Michael does for him.

(Michael is in love with Jeremy. Jeremy just wishes loving and being in love were the same thing.)

havent recced this before but here i am now and. you have to read this. well, okay, you have to read this if youre fine with your heart being ripped out gently by an incredible fic that is a mosaic of pining and pain and how unfair things are sometimes. if ur alright with that, PLEASE READ THIS. IT’S SO GOOD.

left_uncovered, resident pain lord, is startlingly bad at actually getting Michael and Jeremy together in her fics but she’s so ridiculously good at constructing a story that is so real it cuts you to the bone and makes you hurt. it’s not the Over The Top kind of hurt, but the hurt that’s even worse because against all odds and optimism and hopes, you understand why it’s happening. sometimes things dont match up, and it’s a little bit of a tragedy for everybody involved. that’s life. this fic is just so gentle and so good at telling you that with short scenes and a stunning writing style that, at times, can only be described as brutal. in one word: ouch. in many words: ouch but holy god, this was fantastic.

so yeah!! there it is!! i highly recommend all these fics and the other fics these authors have written too. make sure to leave kudos on fics u like!! make sure to comment nice things!! show love!!

[tystrack]

happy birthday jen !! 💕💓✨💗💞💫🌸

i will literally nvr lov a single person more so this is gna be a sappy mess . 

i knOw it isn’t officially your birthday in ur timezone yet but it’s past 12 for me and im heading off to bed soon nd i literally could not resist doing this kjkfjhfkfjh i lit dont even kno what to say im crY but i rly cannot not say anything bc u are literally one of the most important people in my life nd i kno i haven’t been the most attentive person lately or the most present friend but pls never ever forget how mcuh i love you bc u rly are one of the best people ive met on this website nd in general as well tbh ,, i wish i hadn’t deleted my aim acc bc i cannot for the life of me find the first mssg we evr sent each other .. but i remember being there for your birthday last yr so ukno ,, happy belated one yr anniversary of being my person !! we used 2 be so awkward nd uncomf nd look at us now ,, we r happy in luv gfs with matching biases nd matching haircuts nd im j so soft im crying. i rmr the summer last yr nd how u would hav to go babysitting all day nd how tired u would be when u got home nd i would just stay up all night just so i could talk with u for an hour or so nd jsut that hour alone would literally make my entire day nd i think that p much sums up how much u mean to me nd always have.

nd now we r a yr further nd its ur bday again nd u still mean !! the absolute world to me , we hav come such a long way since . u are still my Ultimate fav person nd i cant even rmr how much drama u hav Helped me thru , u are always there for me being the insanely beautiful person inside and out guiding me thru everything . literally everything abt u is so amazing nd i cannot believ u hav been putting up w me for over a yr ,, but it’s all gna b worth it !!! bc ur gna go on ur london internship soon nd i will fly over 2 every mf weekend bc i literallay lov u more than life !!!! enuff of me being sappy , i hope u will have the most lovely nd amazing birthday bc i cant think f anyONE who deserves it more than u !!! i lov u sososososso muchc i cnat even think of words to describe it , my fav Person out there , happy birthday angel !! @cittaphons

[taeslut]

stay with me in 2017

isnt that cute my title kind of rhymes but hello it is me again and this is more or less my (unofficial) 2nd appreciation post bc its a new year and i thought why not also pls ignore my lack of banner i decided to do this on a whim and i honestly cant wait for my photoshop to start up so (and this is in no order at all):

@hwangsae: my dude no need to worry about ur hermitting we understand and we are a ok just as long as you dont completely forget about us. thank you for helping 2016 be less shitty than it was and i treasure our shits n giggles in form time and english. youre always a riot to be with and its literally never boring with you and thanks for always making cheesecake with me; lets hope there are many more cheesecakes in the future (maybe even one where we use an actual cake tin), im sorry for encouraging a certain someone to talk to you to sort his shit out but no worries if he does anything else imma kick his skinny ass for u. i adore your art (bUT IM STILL RGHWJKDF U DIDNT LET ME KNOW I WAS ONLY THE 89TH AND 90TH NOTE) and i will continue to support you in your art and also whatever you decide to do in the future but i do really hope you join me in classics next year. i cant believe how lucky i am that i met you and we’ve maintained our friendship to this point and its gonnA BE SO FRICKIN GREAT WHEN WE GO TO BALL THIS YEAR IM SO HYPED and im so glad we can share moments like that together. i hope youre not too gutted about your math score bc u can always resit and at least you didnt fail which is always good. i have literally so many things i could say about u n our friendship like ur dispatch level photos of me and youre tendency to eat messily especially sushi but i have other ppl to write about too so i will keep this short and let u kno i appreciate u and love u very very much. youre my best friend and here’s to another (hopefully) great fucking year.

@gooseapartment: even tho u have dubbed me with less than ideal nicknames i am nevertheless grateful for your friendship (s/n: i typed out grateful as greatful at first and i stared at it like this isnt right and i had to stare at it for 5 minutes before i understood). even tho i FUCKING HATED AS MATHS ARUHRGJWUGHI you made it more bearable and easier to understand with your chinese lessons. im sososo happy you have gotten into kpop this year as i have yet another friend i can yell with. even though your jokes are lame and i never laugh at your puns, i still appreciate you so so much and idk how id survive in chem without you next to me (especially considering the people we sit with aside from sophia). our conversations are diverse and never really boring and i love hearing about your sunflowers and other plants and your art and drawings and plans for a yt channel and your art blog that u havent posted on and your different jisoos (how is that going btw). i honestly wouldnt have survived in china without you and thank you so much for keeping in contact with me n using wechat bc china hates google n fb. you are such an incredibly strong and inspiring person and i hope you have the best time on camp (even tho u have less than ideal ppl to do it with LOL). i really really hope you come to ball this year because it wouldnt be the same without :((( thanks for being a part of my life for the past 3 years and lets make it a great 4th

@yixmg: its amazing how we have become so close in such a short amount of time and i am so grateful to have met you and gotten the chance to talk to you and realise that no u r quite different from what i thought but in a good way and thank you for putting up with me for basically the whole year last year with me n serena constantly coming over and thank you for listening to me n my problems n my bitching abt certain people. youre hilarious and one of my favourite people to hang around and i frickin love your vines so much i am sad for you that vine closed down :(((( i hope you dont stop making vines even tho u said u might or take up something like filmography or smth idk but you are so talented and i am jealous. its sad we wont be in the same classics class but i wish you luck with your subjects next year (as is a bitch). ur constant love and support for yixing is so cute and admirable (especially bc i am a slut who changes ults every other day) and i love how rapline is rapline and also (current) exom. it makes me happy how whenever we hang out it always involves food and i hope we can go to sura again and study @ the library and hopefully find a spot this time. i am in a constant state of jealousy at the amount of boys u get dang i wish i couldve walked under cherry blossoms w jshaw :((( i love how hardworking you are and im sososo lucky that i got to be one of your friends. i also used ur pen u gave me for math mocks in my eoy exams and ya girl got an a in english so i also have that to thank you for. lets hope we have many more food outings this year along w korean n chinese movies. thanks for being a part of my life and for making 2016 less shitty for me bay-hope :))))

@pixelatedphysiognomy: hoe thanks for all the hoe posts this past year and extra thanks for the dog posts they are one of the few constants in my sad life and i appreciate them very much. i love how i can tell u abt things that made me angry and you will also get angry. i forgot how the whole hoe things started but i am glad it happened because i dont think we really had the awkward first stages of friendship (but correct me if im wrong lol ) i enjoy talking to u about cartoons and the conversations where we exchange “hoe” for days is something i hold dear to my heart. even tho juniors are annoying u are one of the few (ie 3) that i wouldnt mind being friends with. maybe this year ill join the chess club and become chess grandmaster n if i really wanted to get into the role i know a guy to get some of the good shit. thank you for being a part of my 2016 and i hope you stay for the future years for more than just my licence. also i hope 2017 is the year u come to terms with your hoeing.

@yueu: i didnt know which one to tag so i am tagging the newest one. you are one of the cutest people i know and i love ur out of nowhere questions without any context. thank you for being my awkward bean friend this year and i hope we can become closer in the coming year. i love your art so much and you are so talented and i hope you never stop making art and become famous so i can be Famous By Association. you, much like my only other y10 friends, have become such a big and important part of my life considering the short amount of time we’ve known each other and im so grateful to have a friend like you in my life. i hope we can have a great 2017 together and u get all the bread in the world

@seokjinhoney: i havent talked to u in aaaages omg and i know you are on hiatus but thank you so much for being a part of my life. it was so cool to meet someone like you online and its crazy to find out we’re in the same country and meeting you was so frickin cool. youre such a lovely person and i hope we have more time to talk this year

@hmuhansol: rylee u r one of the coolest people i have met this year. even tho its only been like a few months since we started talking we’re already p close considering we were strangers before. i think its so cool how interest you are in maths n science and i hope everything with your school goes well and u get your job witht he fancy name i have 0 capability of remembering bc i am Dumb As Heck. i hope my package arrives soon and i hope you like it even tho it isnt much but i hope we get closer in 2017 and we can laugh even more abt the memeability of svt

ofc there are more people and im sorry if ive forgotten anyone ive also gotten close to this year but these r my top picks n bffs also excuse me for being sappy n my bad grammar and spelling

i hope everyone has the best 2017 and also for trump to be impeached