#even though I’m riddled with stress and anxiety because I’m worried about you and our friendship

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[nymphigeon]

From me, to you || 07

♤ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

♤ Genre: fluff, angst, romance, hybrid au, hybrid!Taehyung, detective!reader

♤ Words: 2.5k

♤ Rating: PG-13

♤ Warnings (for this chapter): Mentions of hybrid abuse, swearing.

♤ A/N: Surprise! I'm really sorry it took me this long, but I finally found the time and drive to write again :) Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Synopsis: A story in which he has never known love, so you’ll give it to him.

Series masterlist

06 07

"What do you mean this hybrid doesn't exist?"

Her eyes are wavering with an unspoken fear, perhaps caused by the bitterness my questions holds. I'm not happy, and she knows.

“It’s just, the chance that a dangerous breed such as the tiger hybrid would escape our system is basically zero..” The gaze she held on the computer screen unsurely moves my way. My expression must've instilled another layer of anxiety to the already existing one, as her mouth abruptly stops moving and her pupils dilate.

“Go on, explain.” The tone of my voice softens a bit as I notice her visible discomfort worsening. Even if there is no way that I’ll get any information from this place regarding Taehyung and his owner, I would still like to know why they’re both not showing up here.

Eun-ji takes a few deep breaths to stabilize her voice. As she does her posture slowly relaxes just a little and her eyes lose some of the nervousness they held before. “Because the first ‘successful’ tiger hybrid ran rampant after killing their creator, anyone who still breeds or creates them is being watched very closely by us, as well as by some other institutions.”

Perhaps it’s my lack of reaction that causes her to trail off at the end. Though I’m not judging her or her story, unlike she may think. To encourage her to continue, I give her a nod, tilting my head to show interest.

“The regular citizen isn’t even allowed to have one, needing special training to handle them. It’s like that for most hybrids that find their origins in wild animals. Creating tiger hybrids obviously requires a lot of knowledge when it comes to playing with genes and breeding them…. Well there are only three organization that are authorized to do so. All the resulting hybrids are registered and chipped.”

The explanation, which turns out to be a lengthy one, gets broken by a shuddering breath leaving her lips. She composes herself, clinging on to the little confidence she has left in her line of work to speak about the rest of her clarification.

“Of course people have tried to do it themselves, but those d.i.y operations have always ended in disappointment. If not taken proper care of, with substances only a board certified hybrid doctor can provide you, the pregnancy will fail. These are no easy practices they are dealing with.”

After the girls’ last words I give myself some time to think, letting a silence full of tension fill the room. It must be obvious that my mind is somewhere else at the moment, as the other girl in the room does her best to stay quiet. I don’t need much time however, my thoughts having quickly rearranged themselves as they were trained to do.

“So what you’re saying is, since tiger hybrids are hard to ‘create’, if you will, there are only a few people who actually manage to bring them to life. And so those few people are kept under close watch, as are the hybrids they successfully wake, am I correct?”

Eun-ji nods affirmatively, clearly happy that I seem to understand the situation. “So there is absolutely no way that someone without authorization has had a decent attempt at either genetically merging a human together with a tiger or getting a tiger hybrid pregnancy to be successful?”

Perhaps there might be a bit of scepticism in the question I asked, as her attitude immediately changes into a defensive one. “There is not! Whatever hybrid you’re searching for either gave you a false identity or is not a tiger hybrid at all, which would seem rather unlikely. I told you they get chipped right? Why not go look into that.”

“He doesn’t have one. We already had a hospital take a look at him, they didn’t find anything. ” The statement seems to shock her, the gears in her head instantly turning as to find an answer to this riddle. She however can’t seem to get one.

“They can be removed, can they not? They’re just under the skin. If someone decided to just cut it out they could. Terrifying, but plausible. Either that or one of your faithful authorized employees has been leaking information to outsiders.”

This is where Eun-ji seems to give up. Her shoulders sagging and a heavy sigh leaving her lips. “There would still be the problem of the missing equipment, test subjects, practice… How would you even get hold of fertilized human eggs to play around with? But I guess that wouldn’t be totally impossible. As for cutting it out… There would be a noticeable scar. The implants are always put in the same place, it wouldn’t be hard to miss.”

I make a mental note stating to ask Taehyung about all of this when I get back. If anyone knows how he got onto this world it would be him. “Is there a possibility that you could have someone look into it?” The girl nods in defeat, paying more attention to the ground than to anything else. “I’ll see if I can get someone on the case. I’ll have them contact you if we know anything.”

After those words she turns around in her chair, facing the monitor that had already put itself into sleep, and turns it off. Taking a notepad out of the drawer to her left, she quickly writes something down with the pen from her breast pocket. “I’ll get on it right away. Would you like me to walk you back to the exit?”

I shake my head. “No It’s okay, I’ll find my way back. Thank you for cooperating.” Eun-ji gives me a small smile, followed by a bow and walks out of the room taking the note with her, presumably immediately keeping herself busy with the extra work. Not wanting to waste any time I copy her, walking myself back into the direction we came from. Turns out it proves quite easy to find the exit by myself.

It’s already far past dinnertime when I make it back to the office. Not many of my colleagues have remained in their seats, most of them opting for a nice meal with their families. The few that have stayed behind are mostly known to live alone, quite like myself.

I quietly knock on my supervisor’s door, but when no response emerges from within the room, I can safely deduce that she too has already returned home. “I’ll have to write her a report about today later..” I mutter to myself, before stepping away from the door and instead heading to the cells at the back.

Technically the arrest period had already ended for Taehyung, as the law wouldn’t allow us to keep him locked up for any longer without any charges being held against him. His cell however technically was never locked and so even now, he is free to go wherever he wants. Though it didn’t change the fact that he still has no place to go to.

“Good evening. Had anything to eat yet?” He just chose to stay here and we accepted it. “Oh, hello! Yes, that tall handsome bulky man gave me something earlier, I can’t remember his name. He said something about it ‘being the best shit in town’.”

I slightly giggle at his quote, knowing immediately who it belongs to. “That definitely sounds like something Namjoon would say. What did he give you?”

Taehyung looks a lot better than he did yesterday. The stress of the interrogation seems to have completely worn off, instead traded for the sweet bouncy personality he used to show around me.

“Umm it was something in the shape of a circle and it had meat all over it… Oh! I think he called it a pizza? It was delicious!”

“You’ve never had pizza before?” The words leave my mouth before I actually get the chance to process them, causing me to instantly regret ever even opening my mouth. These days are stressful enough for him as they are, he doesn’t need a painful reminder of the life he never got to live on top of that.

The question doesn’t seem to hit him as hard as I though it would though. In fact, his demeanour doesn’t seem to change at all. Although sadly, it doesn’t make his next words any less painful. “Nope! When I first got adopted all they would feed me was wet cat food. It wasn’t great, but at least I got my three meals a day. The foster family I stayed at after my first owners mysteriously disappeared didn’t actually have the money to even take proper care of themselves, so at that time all I would get was whatever was left of their dinner that day, if there was even any left. It was mostly just greens. The lack of meat made me real sick at the time.”

He pauses talking for a second to look up at my face through the metal bars. The content look on his face quickly changes to one of worry once he catches my eyes. It’s no mystery why, I know I look at him pitifully. Even if he may not wish for my concern, I am only human. I can perfectly hide it when I need to, but this is not one of those cases.

“There it is again, that sad look on your face…” He sits up straight on the side of his bed to fully observe me, a tilt of his head giving him away. I send a sad chuckle his way as I reach for the door of his enclosure, inviting myself into the small space with him. He doesn’t object.

“Is it that obvious?” It was meant more as a way to lighten the mood, not as an actual question that needs answering. He still does however, giving me a simple slow nod. “You don’t need to feel bad for me.”

“Someone has to. You deserve at least that much.”

There’s a chair neatly placed under a small desk in the room. It used to be quite lively, with all kinds of bright colours blending into each other. It was a little positive additive into the dark grey room, but after all the anger that has been acted out on it, it no longer has that same shine.

I pull the chair out to place myself upon it, straddling the seat while I rest my arms on top of the back rest. Facing the tiger I use my arms as a pillow to lean my head on, making myself comfortable on the creaking furniture.

“Say, Taehyung, do you remember anything from when and where you were formed?”

He seems slightly taken aback at first, though quickly regains his composure. He also doesn’t immediately answer, first taking some time to think before coming back to me. “I was born a hybrid to two purebred tiger hybrids. They did their best trying to care for me in the little time we got to spend together, but seeing as it happened on a breeding farm getting to spend time with my parents wasn’t the plan. I got sold off pretty quickly, as soon as I learned to hold my first few full conversations.”

“Do you… Would you happen to know what happened to the farm? To your parents?” I fail to hide my apprehensiveness, needing too much space to form a careful approach. This shouldn’t feel like an interrogation to him, I never even announced one. There is little reason for him to answer me, the vital information from his side has already been given anyway. Nonetheless, even though I probably shouldn’t be doing this right now, I can’t just miss this opportunity.

“I heard my adoptive family talking about how the place was burnt down a while later. Most likely the police had caught a hold of it and they had to delete their left behind evidence. Both building and hybrids.”

Despite talking about the death of his parents, he seems to tell the story with relative ease. Probably not having much connection with the far past, his brain too young to truly hold on to the memory of them.

“They were successful too, as the case got dropped faster than lightning. It wasn’t long before the general public forgot about it too, believing it was just another misunderstanding. Besides, hybrid lives weren’t as important anyway.”

The amount of rights hybrids had when they were first created back in the day were close to zero, only strictly being seen as objects to show off whatever possible wealth one may have had. For a while there was even a popular theory going around that hybrids didn’t actually have the ability to feel any kind of emotion or pain. The genetic puzzle wouldn’t allow for it, as it had been tampered with to an extreme extent. This only built on the carelessness shown towards them, slowly chipping away at their sanity.

Although the rumours were wrong, they came from a place of truth. Facial expressions were rare for hybrids, as was the ability to speak. Most of them couldn’t even keep up with regular humans, exhaustion quickly taking over the little anger they could show. Scientists hadn’t yet quite figured out how to perfectly combine the pieces of genetic code and so hybrids were more like living dolls in the eyes of evil humans. Having no voice to object and barely any means to actually hurt anyone, it wasn’t much of a surprise the selfish nature in humans came to rise.

Luckily, or depending on how you look at it, sadly, these first generation hybrids were never able to reproduce. The doll like hybrid features eventually died out with the rise of the newly perfected pieces and the theory was debunked by a group of scientist who actually did care about the hybrids’ wellbeing. Those hybrids had lived through countless punishments, and every single one of them had hurt. A lot.

Right now hybrids in a lot of ways are superior to the rest of us. Having the combined senses of both animal and human alike, society has reluctantly given up on trying to contain them. They are still to be bought and owned, but no longer to be treated like dirt. The smartest of hybrids have even already gotten complete freedom to do as the please, no longer having to be bound to a human to roam freely. However, those unable to pass the close to impossible tests aren’t so lucky.

“I’m sorry about what happened.”

Taehyung gives me a reassuring wave of his hand, effectively trying to lighten the mood, along with a sad smile. It wouldn’t take a trained professional to know he still longs for his parent’s presence, even if he may do well hiding it.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.”

That doesn’t make the situation more okay, but I hold my remarks back. For now, that might just be for the best.

Taglist

@suhappysuho @intellectualxprincess @sana-b @littlewolfieposts @nellaphine @the8luvr @deathkat657 @elenaramos1 @namjoonies-dimple

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Healing (Demetri Volturi x female!Reader)

WARNING: Dark themes! Childbirth, Child abandonment and depression mentioned! Mentions of trauma!

You remembered it, like a bad dream. The ripping and tearing. The agony and crunching of your bones. It was the type of pain that made you wish you had died. Your vision had blurred, your hearing echoed as you faded in and out of consciousness, barely able to differentiate your own screams and someone else shouting. You wanted your heart to give out. In what you could only assume was the brink of death - you were able to ignore the pain, your eyes beginning to close. 

It was something of a miracle that you had survived the birth but you couldn't call it that. You felt the wounds of the birth and you couldn't call it a miracle after that. Being used as an incubator for a half human, half vampire was one thing but being in love with the hybrids father only made you feel more used. Demetri deemed it a miracle that you lived. He praised you and planted kisses all over your face when you woke up. He was so pleased, happy even, about his new little family despite it being created for all the wrong reasons. 

Aro wanted to study hybrids and when you came into the picture it wasn't by coincidence that you had fallen pregnant. You agreed to carry because of Demetri. He seemed to excited. You had wanted to give him this. Even if you had lost your humanity and had become an object for his offspring. However you still loved him and Demetri seemed to feel the same. 

You seemed to ruin Demetri's plan of a happy family. When you had come to, your son was brought in for you to meet him for the first time. However you turned away sharply, refusing to even look at the baby. Immediately reminded of the pain. It hurt Demetri but he didn't give up. He figured you just needed time and rest. However within two nights he knew it was more than that. You told him how you felt and he promised you'd get through it together. Although the nightmares were too much for you to handle. You would scream in agony, just as you had previously, until you woke up.  The solution for that was to change you but that also led to more pain. 

As a newborn, you were struggling with your emotions and haunted by the pain of both the birth and the change. Yet as if a sick joke, the change removed any scarring or signs that you ever gave birth. You looked better than you ever had but felt worse than you had ever felt before. "It's the venom." Demetri had told you. "It heals all scarring when your human. You'll scar again as a vampire but it won't be as visible.” It made you sick. All the evidence washed away as though it had never happened. Taking all but the memories away. 

You took advantage of the situation. The leaders didn't necessarily want a newborn under their roof and Demetri was worried about letting you around the baby. Although he also didn't want to keep you apart. Seemingly Marcus had warned him of your wavering ties to your child. You felt completely alienated from your son, as though he wasn't yours. Demetri tried to get you to bond with the boy but to no avail. "Don't punish our son." Demetri pleaded silently. "I'm not." "You are. You've closed yourself off to everyone including him. He needs his mother." "I don't feel like his mother." You admitted quietly. The admission seemed to startle Demetri into a stunned silence- a look of horror. That was when you asked the leaders to leave. Given the circumstances, it seemed to be a good idea. For one year, it would be the end of your newborn days and then you were to return. 

Demetri was saddened but let you go. You had his support. You needed this. Everyone knew it. All Demetri asked is that you held your son one last time before you left. So you did. "His name... did you?" "You don't remember?" Demetri asked softly. You shook your head, ashamed. You had forgotten if he ever had a name. He must have. "Xavier." Demetri said softly, a hand on your back. Your eyes widened a fraction. "Xavier?" Demetri smiled at you. "You chose it. After the birth." You swallowed. 

A year had passed. Your control had improved greatly but you couldn't shake your reluctance to return to the Volturi. You couldn't understand why you should. Why return when your purpose was done? Aro wanted a hybrid child and you were used to get one. Regardless of feelings. Demetri knew the purpose long before he caught feelings for you. Whilst you found out towards the end of the pregnancy. Once you had given birth, the child no longer felt like yours. You were the walking talking incubator that had served it's purpose. Then you were changed to tie up loose ends. They had to keep the secret after all. Although the moment you found out your son's name, you felt a glimpse of a feeling you couldn't describe. Perhaps things weren't as you thought. Demetri could have chosen a different name, you wouldn't have known any differently. Perhaps a name that was older than your bloodline and so complex you couldn't say it. He didn't. He knew you wanted the name Xavier and went with it. You had something that was your legacy. You chose your son's name. Could an object have such a privilege?  You were quick to shake off the thought, deeming that you wanted to believe the more romantic story and ignore what had actually happened. He didn't need you, you had done your purpose. 

It wasn't long before the familiar grey cloaks returned. “You look well, (Y/N).” The voice made you turn. You were faced with Santiago.  “Yeah.” You responded flatly.  “How have you been?” Afton moved to Santiago’s side.  “Surviving.” You replied.  “Well i believe you know why we’re here.” Santiago began.  “Is everything alright?” You asked.  “Of course.” Santiago responded.  “Then it’s not necessary for me to return.” You said simply. Santiago smirked. “You know that wasn’t the arrangement and you also know we can’t go against orders.” You shifted slightly, every memory within Volterra had become a bullet that charged through you. You couldn’t bring yourself to think about Xavier but you couldn't stop some thoughts coming to mind. What did he look like now? You'd cut the thought short. The guilt of walking away riddled you. You couldn't bring yourself to think about it. It was better off this way, in your eyes at least. You stayed quiet and Santiago finished. "You know we can't leave without you." You felt hands upon your shoulders and you looked over to see Afton. "It's time. You gave your word." Afton said gently. 

It was simple. Your time was up. So you complied which they seemed to appreciate. "I'm not ready, Afton." You said quietly who tilted his head in your direction. "I think you are. You're just afraid." "Shouldn't I be?" You responded. "No." Afton replied. "Not of Demetri and you're complying so Aro won't have issue." "It wouldn't be fair to him or to Xavier." "I think you'll be surprised." Afton said quietly. 

The first you saw when back in Volterra were the leaders. All of which welcomed you in their own respective ways, none mentioned your son or Demetri. "How lovely it will be to have you among us again, (Y/N)." Aro smiled, dropping your hand. "Brothers, You'll be relieved to hear that our dear (Y/N) is doing much better." "What a relief." Caius hummed as Marcus slowly nodded. You shifted in discomfort. Aro's judgement didn't have you convinced. 

You looked around the throne room, now empty and quiet. The walls were empty and bland, but your mind made up for it. A flurry of emotions eager to take the front, none winning the sole place. Therefore you were left with an empty expression whilst a war raged on in your mind. You heard smaller but fast footsteps running towards you before a small gasp. You turned and immediately froze. 

The boy was small, he looked to be around nine years old at the most. Unlike the average nine year old, this child was dressed in trousers and a shirt. His eyes were the same colour as yours used to be when you were human. His hair a bright blonde much like Demetri's. Then again, he looked like Demetri, a younger and smaller version.  You knew who this was immediately. Any speculations were confirmed when he spoke. 

"Mummy?" His voice hit you like a train, you took a step back in shock. A year had passed and this was your son. He was no longer a baby, as expected. "You came back!" The boy was shocked, clearly he didn't know. Then again, why would he? 

Faster than any human child, he ran towards you and hugged your waist tightly. His head nuzzling against you. "You're home!" You staggered back. Not from the force but from the shock. You weren't ready to see him. Not prepared for any of it. A gasp escaped you. Surprisingly your vampire instincts didn't kick in as much as you were undecided about the contact. This time, panic escaped you. Panicked gasps. You'd have cried if you could, there was no doubt. 

You didn't touch him, not even to pry him off. However you wanted him to let go, you just couldn't find the words to say so. So many emotions and thoughts rushed through your mind. Confusion, shock, stress, anxiety but one continued to hit in waves. Guilt. You were force to acknowledge that this was very much a child who had been waiting for his mother to come home and you had denied that. You had spent so long alienating yourself from him that you failed to remember that this was an innocent child. Just like other children, he needed his parents and wanted them. Xavier had a name, with his own thoughts and feelings. No matter why he had come to be. 

Xavier stepped away as your gasps became more erratic. He looked at you in confusion. "Mummy? Where did you go?" You squeezed your eyes shut. "Did I do something wrong?" The boy continued. "Xavier..." A new familiar voice called softly. The boy turned and you looked up to see Demetri. "Daddy! Mummy came back!" "Yes, she did." Demetri smiled at you gently but his eyes held sympathy. "Come to me, son." Xavier looked reluctant but complied, moving towards his father. "Why don't you go and find Uncle Felix, hm?" Demetri asked. "B-but mummy-!" "She'll be here for a while, son. You don't need to worry." He cast a glance to you. "Mummy has had a long trip here. Why don't you let her settle in, hm?" Xavier looked down, disappointed. Every so often he'd spare you glance, as though checking you were still there. "Go on, allow me to talk to her please." "...okay." Xavier said solemnly before taking his leave. 

Once he was gone and out of earshot, Demetri turned to you. "Welcome home." He said and you kept quiet. "Why don't we go somewhere more comfortable?" He prompted and you followed as he guided you with a hand on your back. After a moment of silence, you spoke up, meeting Demetri's gaze. Your voice quiet and shaky. "He knew who I was." Demetri cracked a smile. "Of course he did, he's been waiting for you to return." "Did you tell him about me?" You whispered. "He knew about you since day one. He'd ask about you and I'd tell him...within reason of course.” "What did you tell him? About me leaving?" You pressed. "He asked where you had gone. I told him you had to go away for some time. At first I had to remind myself I was talking to a child. So I used words he'd understand. I told him his mother was sad. That she had to go away for a little while to feel better." You stared at him and Demetri continued. "I didn't put in details. He had questions, blames himself even. However I always told him that his mother loved him very much and that it wasn't concerning him. Xavier never gave up hope that you'd return to him one day." You chewed your lip, squeezing your eyes shut. "I know it mustn't be easy to come back here." Demetri began. You nodded slowly. "Even I wondered if you were happier without us. What you did every day, if you thought about us. Seeing you earlier tells me you weren't ready to come back here.” Demetri said quietly. "I didn't think I was." Your voice trembled. "When I saw him...I was finally able to understand what consequences my actions made. I felt total guilt and sadness because I missed so much. I wasn't ready to face either of you but suddenly he was there and talking to me-" your voice began to rise and Demetri put a hand on your knee, gently hushing you. "It's okay.” You slowly shook your head with a pained expression. “It still kills me.” You said quietly. “I think back and I-...” You slapped a hand to your mouth, eyes squeezing shut.   Demetri took your free hand. "I want you to be free of our past." He whispered. “It doesn’t have to end how it began. Above all else, he’s my son. He is considered nothing less.”  “And Aro?” You lifted your head to look into his eyes, searching for the truth.  “Treats him as my son all the same. He lets the boy live freely and notes things upon observation, tiny things but he’s never been treated as an experiment.” 

The next day wasn’t any easier as a matter of fact, you felt more guilty than you ever had before. Although you fought to justify what you had done. You had to justify it. You refused to be alone with the guilt. Whilst Demetri seemed to be somewhat understanding, the twins one the other hand were not and were more than happy to make that known. 

 "Do you feel guilt when you see that boy?" Jane said to you with narrowed eyes and a scowl on your face. "Excuse me?" You turned your head to face Jane. "He's been blaming himself for his whole existence thinking he's the reason you left." Alec continued. "You weren't there to reassure him otherwise." Jane chimed in. "Now you're here and he's terrified you'll leave." "All for a pity party, no less." Alec finished. You were taken aback but quickly, rage filled you. "You have no idea, do you?" "What it's like to abandon a child? No. We are were often the child in that situation. If anyone knows what he's going through, it's us." Jane responded sharply. "But you have no sympathy for the plenty of children you've thrown into bonfires. The countless children you've killed. Who are you two to lecture me on the right thing? How many children have either of you had to ever judge me? You've spent your whole existence on your pity party." You sneered. "Watch yourself!" Jane glared at you. "Aro said we can't hurt you because you're 'delicate' but that doesn't mean you're safe forever. You don't know what we went through." She finished icily. "And you know what I went through Jane?" You retorted, stepping closer to her. "Were you manipulated into having a child for someone's else's curiosity? Were you led to believe someone loved you for you and not because there was a plan to get you pregnant? Were you considered a walking talking incubator Jane?" Alec stepped forward, scowling at you but you continued. "What about feeling something push it's way out of you, breaking and puncturing anything in the way with no pain relief? You want to die just to make the pain go away. Death would have been accepted just to see some relief from the whole damn thing...but it never came. Instead you got more pain because the man you love is tearing your insides out with his teeth. Still, nothing for pain. Alec could have been even a little useful there." You sent Alec a pointed look. "We know that didn't happen though, don't we Jane? Then the stitches! I felt every tug and I survived every last bit of it but I didn't forget. I couldn't eat or sleep. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him when he was born because all I could feel was pain. Then I had to go through even more to become a vampire, not for me but for the coven. So what would you have done Jane? You were used for a baby, manipulated in the most painful ways possible and you'd do what? Please tell me what you, the absolute saint that you are, would do if that was you?" "(Y/N)...", You were so busy ranting you didn't even hear Felix enter the room. "That's enough." He said gently. "You've made your point." "Have I!?" You yelled spinning to face him. "Because it's not even half of it Felix. I wanted more than anything to be happy when my little boy came into this earth! I would have been if I had died that day! Or maybe even if I didn't remember it! Yes, I'm not the perfect mother everyone demands of me but it's not fair for anyone here to judge me!" Your face changed from rage to pain, so quickly it startled the twins, wiping their glares from their faces. "You want to know the other reason why I left? I left because at the end of it all...I didn't feel like I was enough for him. Ive told myself over and over again that he'd be fine without me because what kind of company am I!? Everyone on in this castle knew what was going to happen to me. No one said a word and I wasn't treated like a person anymore! No one once asked me about any of this! No one asked how I felt afterwards!" You fell to your knees, this time startling Felix and Demetri rushed into the room. "I don't know how to fix it." You whispered in anguish. "I hate myself for leaving but I didn't have a choice! I couldn't...I couldn't drag Demetri and my son down with me."  Demetri slowly moved forward, reaching out to you. "Let's go back to our room. We can talk about it there." You didn't respond and stayed still. You looked completely helpless. However, you let Demetri help you up. He wrapped his arms around you, guiding you out of the room. He continued to mumble that it was okay. 

As soon as the door shut, Felix turned to the twins with a dark look. "You two were warned." "We're allowed to disagree with her actions, Felix." Jane responded icily. "Yes, but just because you disagree, doesn't mean you can't keep it to yourself." Felix growled. "You knew what you were doing. Both of you. That's why you were warned by Aro himself to leave her be." Jane scoffed in response as Alec rolled his eyes. "Alright, put it this way." Felix said with anger. "Aro has seen her thoughts. He knows what she's been thinking all this time and he told you two to keep your comments to yourself, like the rest of us. You said it yourself. She's fragile right now because she's trying to put her life back together!" Felix scoffed. "I know you two aren't so stupid to not know exactly what I'm talking about. I know you two know damn well that (Y/N) is torturing herself over this. She doesn't need your help in the torment!" 

Demetri sat you down before sitting beside you. "It's okay, it's out now. It'll only get better from here." Slowly you shook your head, you had never said it out loud now you had. You could never take those words back. "Darling, look at me." Demetri softly pleaded. "I had no idea you felt like that and I'm so proud of you for saying it. I need you to know that I am so sorry for everything. Every little bit of it. I've despised it every day and not once have I ever blamed you for leaving. I could never blame you. I need you to know that to me, you were never just an object. He's not just my son, (Y/N). He's ours. He's yours just as he is mine and you went through a hell no one could ever hope to have the strength to endure. You're the strongest person I've ever known, (Y/N). I don't want you to torture yourself over this because I don't blame you and neither will Xavier." After a moment of searching your face, Demetri heard you speak up. "You're so forgiving towards me." You mumbled. "Why don't you hate me?" "I could never hate you. Not you." You stared at Demetri momentarily. "What do you want to come of this? Really? Do you really want me around?" You asked. Demetri looked into your eyes for a moment. "I knew Aro's wishes. However, I never saw it as he did. Xavier is mine. I grew to love his mother long before he was born. What I want is simple in words. I want my little family. My son and my love and myself together." Demetri paused for a moment, his gaze falling. "I want you to be free of our past, (Y/N). I don't want you to live in guilt or pain because you don't deserve it. I love you, just as you loved me once. I want to see you smile again and be happy." The memories of the times Demetri spent with you before Xavier were now a blur but...they were happy memories, that you knew for sure. "You...still love me?" Demetri cracked a smile. "I will always love you." "Why? Why are you so forgiving? I abandoned you. I abandoned him! I don't deserve-" You cut yourself off, putting your head in your hands. Demetri quickly cradled your face in his hands, making you look at him. "You carried the greatest gift you could have ever given me." Demetri said softly. "How could I not adore you for that?" You would have cried if you could. Demetri continued with a sad smile. "You're my darling. I told you that before Xavier was even born. It hurts me that you torture yourself so, my love. If I could take that pain from you, I would." "I was so angry." You said quietly. "I know, darling." Demetri responded, his forehead moving to rest against yours. "I felt so used." Your hands moved to his shoulders. "I didn't think I'd make it through any of it and I did. I didn't know how to handle what I was feeling." Demetri nodded against you. "When I saw him...I felt like a was dying all over again because suddenly it all felt so miniscule and I missed out so much of him. I should have been there and that scared me because I wasn't ready to let go of all the pain and anger. I wasn't ready to forget." You continued. "What if I'm not a good mother? What if I disappoint him? What if it doesn't get easier?" "It will, it will. I promise you." Demetri said to you. "Demetri..." You looked into his eyes. "...I never stopped loving you. I'm so sorry you ever thought I did. I wanted to hate you but I couldn't." "It's okay, my love." Demetri assured you softly. 

Sure enough, the longer you looked into his eyes, the more the doubt cleared. The pain wasn't about forgetting, it was about moving on. You didn't need it like a crutch to hold you back. It was in the past and with everyday, you shaped the future. In that moment you knew what you needed but you couldn't do it alone. Not this time. "Demetri?" You said much more calmly after a moment of silence. "Yes, my love?" He responded quietly. "I'm going to do something terrifying, but I can't do it alone. I want to be there for you and our son. The two I will always love the most. Although I'm going to have to learn what that is. It won't be easy, and I'm putting myself in a vulnerable position. I need you for this part." Demetri smiled. "Always. Even if you walked out that door and I never saw you again, I'd always be there for you." You shook your head. "I'm not going anywhere." "No?" Demetri said quietly. "No." You responded before leaning in, pressing your lips to his. He inhaled in surprise before kissing you back. One of his hands moved from your face and to your hair, the other moved to your shoulder. "You and me." You promised against his lips. "Always and forever. You and me."   

Demetri opened your son's bedroom door, leaving room for you to enter first. Felix stood by, he couldn't help but want to see the show. Xavier looked at you bright eyed in wonder as he sat on the side of his bed. You crouched down to his level with a soft smile. "You're still here." He breathed in relief. "Yes, baby. I'm here." You smiled. "I'm not going anywhere." "You'll stay with me? And daddy?" Xavier's eyes widened, his hands immediately reaching for your shoulders. "Always and forever." You promised. Xavier immediately lunged, hugging your tightly. You hugged him back, balancing him on your knees. "I'll always be here. Always. Okay? I could be on the other side of the planet and I'll always come and find you." You said to him. Xavier squeezed you tighter. 

After a moment you broke Xavier's hold to look him in the eyes. "You don't need to worry. When you go to bed tonight, I'll be here in the morning, and the next morning and the next and the next and a million mornings after that." "Mummy?" He asked. "Yes, sweetheart?" "Why did you leave?"  As soon as the words left Xavier's mouth Demetri spoke up from the doorway, about to protest gently but you interrupted him. "No, it's okay. I've got this." You assured him with a smile. Demetri nodded despite the unease washing over him. He was concerned you weren't ready for such a conversation. 

You sat Xavier back on his bed. "Well mummy was very sad. I was going through a lot and I didn't want you and daddy to be sad too. So I went away so I could feel better." "Are you feeling better now?" Xavier asked and you smiled at him. "Yes, a lot better sweetie. Sometimes I still get sad but that's okay. It's good to be sad sometimes. Now I realise I have you and daddy to help me feel better." "Daddy gives me hugs when I'm sad! They always make me feel better." Xavier responded as though giving you advice.  You, Demetri and Felix smiled at the same time. "Yeah, daddy gave me a hug earlier and I felt better. Maybe it's his superpower." You replied. "That's not his superpower! Daddy can find people!" You giggled. "That's true but can't people have two superpowers?" Xavier didn't respond but seemed intrigued by the thought. You giggled again, breaking his train of thought, a smile returning to his face. 

"Well son, unfortunately it's bed time." Demetri said, moving away from the door and further into the boys bedroom. "One more hour!" Xavier declared. "No, it's bedtime and I have duties to attend to. Putting you to bed being the first one.” "Please!" Xavier whined. "How about you get ready for bed now but we can do something for an hour and then I'll stay with you until you fall asleep?" You offered. Xavier nodded frantically. "Can you ready me a story!?" You nodded. "Of course I can." Demetri sighed. "Fine but just for tonight. I know you like to push your luck." Demetri said sending a knowing smile to Xavier. "Well, you best rush to it!" You said to Xavier who hurriedly fetched his pajamas before running into the bathroom. 

"You did beautifully, darling. You're a natural." Demetri praised you quietly, kissing the top of your head.  "Can't stay for story time, you two?" You asked lightly, taking Demetri's hand, as you moved to kneel on the floor. "Unfortunately not." Demetri responded. "Guard duties!" Felix grinned now at the door. "Although I'd love to hear a story instead. Guarding duties aren't fun at this time. Just gotta stare at a wall." "I already have one child and now I'm dealing with the adult child." Demetri sent a pointed gaze to Felix. "Hey!" Felix frowned. "Kids wish they were as badass as me!" "What have I told you about that phrase, Felix!? Not around my son!" Demetri glared at his friend. "He's in the bathroom! He can't hear me!" Felix said defensively. "You'd be surprised and if he starts saying that I will have some very colourful phrases to say to you and a beating!" Demetri warned Felix. "...Harsh, dude." Felix's eyes widened. "Dare I say, dramatic." Demetri glared at Felix again before turning to you with a pleasant smile. "Enjoy, my love. I'll be back in a few hours." Before you could stand up, Demetri swooped down to kiss your lips. 

After the bedtime story, you stayed with Xavier as promised. He was clearly very tired, not quite fighting sleep but it wouldn't be long before he was fighting against the closing of his eyelids. He had curled himself into you, his arm over your waist. He looked up at you almost like you were the most magnificent thing he had ever seen and would fade away at any given moment. He said nothing but was clear content as you ran your fingers through his hair softly. It would slowly lull him to sleep. That you were certain. You looked down at his angelic face with a small smile. "I'm happy you're back, mummy." He said quietly. You smiled slightly, lightly stroking his cheek before you continued running your hand hand through his hair. 

An hour later, Demetri returned to the most wonderful sight he had ever seen. Xavier was curled into you, his arm crossed over your waist. He was fast sleep, his mouth slightly agape whilst his head was tilted up towards you as though he had been looking at you. You were quiet, not tearing your gaze from your son with a soft expression, your own free arm that hadn't propped you up wrapped across him. Just when the thought crossed his mind that you hadn't noticed him, you looked over at Demetri giving him a soft smile. "He's been asleep for a while now but...I can't bring myself to leave him." You admitted quietly. Demetri smiled at you. "Not even to spend time with me?" You sent him an amused smile. "One second." You pressed a kiss to Xavier's forehead before slowly rolling off the bed. You tucked him in, pulling the duvet to his shoulders. As you closed the gap between you and Demetri, he took your hand and pulled you towards the door, quietly closing the door behind you. 

Barely a second later, he pulled you in for a kiss. "What was that for?" You asked. You'd have been breathless if you still needed to breathe. Demetri simply smiled at you before reaching for the back of your neck and pulling you in for another kiss. For the remainder of the night, you spent the time with Demetri in your shared room, wrapped in his arms. With nowhere else you'd rather be.

[gt-newbie]

Hey, ever since finding out about G/t, I wanted to try my hands at writing and I've been sitting on an idea for months. Only now, after a lot of anxiety and stress for it, I've decided to try it. I'm pretty new to writing in general, so I'm sorry if it sucks ass.

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Our Place (1/??)

[Vifnep Altau (the borrower)]

Things couldn't possibly get any worse. I'm at the end of my line with my hunger and I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can't go down because of some rodents scurrying around and at my current strength, I can't possibly climb up anymore. I'd just fall to my death, though I'm not sure if that would be a faster, better death. My only escape now...is through the crack in the wall right in front of me...leading into a human's appartment...

I was never trained for borrowing. In her worries of keeping me safe, my mother never trained me in those arts, which doomed me. However, I only have myself to blame for trying, getting found by Harvey and.....

There's no time to dwell on the past. I grab my grappling hook made from a safety pin and rope and prepare myself to enter the human's habitat, both physically and mentally. The crack leads into an open cupboard mounted on the wall filled with plates, glasses and the likes. To my dismay, the human is still around, focused on his computer turned the other way from me. My heart's pounding out of my chest, but if I'm fast, grab a crumb of bread or 2 and leave, I'll be fed for a day.

I plant the pin firmly into the cupboard and begin my descend. As I go down, I can't help but look back and forth between the human and the large drop under me. My only hope was that the pin would stay firmly in place and not break. My prayers were answered, as it wasn't the pin, but the rope to snap, forcing my way down with a loud thump. My entire body hurts, but I dont think anything's broken. That's not my most immediate concern however, hearing the human getting out of his creaking chair. He heard me.

I dont have a lot of time, and in my frantic panic, I try to hide behind a pepper mill. The footsteps are getting louder and louder all the while I hug my legs more and more, trying to be as small as possible not to be seen. Who am I kidding though? He's gonna find me and for all I know, he could be worse than Harvey.

I'm almost begging for a quick death.

[Brandon Mccoy (the human)]

While browsing some internet sites and not contributing to society, I hear something small fall behind me, followed by a soft yelp. The neighbours mentioned having a rodent situation, so the little rascals probably made their way into my walls as well. Should've fixed that hole in the wall months ago instead of hiding it with some plates and thinking "That'll do".

I stand up to go and find the rat and trap it with a box to release it outside, but to my surprise, I find a pin with some string wedged into the cupboard with the hole, and looking down, more string. In my confusion, in the corner of my eye, I spot something behind the pepper mill. Something... purple and shaking. Though I'd love to joke around with that description, I grab the mill and nearly drop it again from the sight. I know what I'm seeing, but I can't comprehend it.

On my counter sits a small human, trembling, looking up terrified at me. He has purple hair, is riddled with scars, has a lean stature and is dressed in stitched up, overgrown grey clothes. The longer I look, the more tiny steps he takes back.

"Uhh...hello?" I say, quietly waving my hand. That was the final straw for him as he makes a break for it.

"H-Hey, wait. I dont mean any harm" but it's futile. He keeps on running and eventually makes his way to the microwave, hiding behind it.

I almost try to move the microwave to see him, but quickly realise that would scare him even more. Instead, I look at him from a distance through the crack. He's hugging his legs tightly and seems to be crying. My heart aches at this.

"I swear, I dont mean any harm...you look pretty malnourished. Would you like some food?" but every word I say just makes the situation worse, his crying becoming more and more frantic, all the while he tries to wipe them on a pink bandana around his neck. I suppose actions speak louder than words, so I go to get him some food and look for something small enough to hold water.

Of course I'm also wondering about how to get to know more about him without terrifying the poor thing.

Next part

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Thanks to @kaseysgtnonsense and @mryield for supporting me with my stupid shit.

[bitchassbucky]

Ｔｗｉｎｅｄ: Ａ Ｓｏｕｌｍａｔｅ ＡＵ

📎Word count: 1.5k

📎Warning/s: Mentions of death, f-bombs galore. MINORS DNI.

📎A/N: Hey lovelies <3 @honeyvbarnes​ and I worked on this Soulmate AU and we hope that y’all like it! I loved working with my bff and we’ll do it again hopefully <3 enjoy!

📎Honeyvbarnes’s Masterlist

📎Masterlist || Ask || AFTERDARK

When Bucky Barnes died back in 1943, he died knowing that he lived his life without a soulmate. 

When he turned eighteen, he waited for a flash of annoyance, stress, or anything emotionally malicious that came from his soulmate since emotional pain is supposedly said to connect two wandering souls no matter how far they are from each other.  

A bit sadistic, Steve Rogers would say. But Bucky would always counter his friend’s point with, “you see, Stevie when your soulmate gets hurt, you’re the only one who can hear them-- at least in your head-- and you can help them, you can help them find you,” 

“Still, I don’t want someone to suffer just to make a connection with me,” Steve said, ever a gentle-hearted (but strong-headed) person.

“They’re not gon’a. Annoyance is enough for them to create a short connection,”

“What I’m hearing is that I get a pass for annoying you more,”

It’s hot. Searing. Humid. The air is so thick, you can almost choke on it.

The beach is filled with people-- couples and families mostly and your mind wanders to soulmates.

You never had one and as far as you’re concerned, you’re better off without one.

Since your eighteenth birthday, you felt a great deal of stress coming off from your soulmate. You had to go through various therapy sessions, evaluations, and couple’s counseling since the supposed love of your life won’t answer to your pleas and calls as to what the fuck is going on inside their head.

They never let you in and it seems like they will never let you in.

Not now and not ever especially since the torment of nightmarish inner turmoil had subsided; granted, there are still some night terrors but it doesn’t compare to the pain you felt back then.

You started thinking maybe they were in the army or something of that sort. 

Maybe, maybe. What if, what if

That’s your inner turmoil; the boiling water inside the pot. 

You weren’t sure where to start looking for them-- you spent years trying to get through but you never get as much as a word.

So you gave up.

And not a lot of people give up on their soulmates, at least not the ones who never had to spend literal years of their lives trying to coax out a word out of their loved one.

You still get worried and anxious about them. You still try to comfort them after a particularly bad nightmare even though you know they won’t answer back to you. You still tell them that you’re always there, ready to give the comfort only a true soulmate can give.

You wanted to give them warmth not knowing that they dislike the heat.

Bucky had always hated the summer. He hated how everything is so warm and dry and humid. He hated how he can’t stay bundled up in dark sweaters and jackets, he hated the way that the glow of the scorching sun brings out the best in people. 

He prefers the cold. The harsh winters remind him of his past, and he likes to suffer, he allows the despair and loneliness to settle deep in his bones. The heat of the summer makes it more difficult for him to keep his mind separated from yours. 

Bucky Barnes died back in 1943 without a soulmate, but after his resurrection in Wakanda, he knew you were there. The dull feeling of annoyance would come in waves and he knew you hadn’t felt him yet. 

Oh, but you did, he came to realize. Over the years, Hydra had control over him, his mind, and his soul. The constant wipe of his memories not even sparing a chance for him to feel emotion, to feel you. The harsh realization that you had to feel the same pain he had, makes him sick. 

Thinking of the years of abuse and torture makes him want to apologize profusely, but would you even understand? Would you ever love the person that’s caused you so much pain? He doesn’t know who you are or your age, and the fact that his soulmate lives in an era where he was never meant to live in, still confuses him to this day. 

So he’s built up walls, a mind blockade in hopes that you’d move on without him. He doesn’t deserve love after all that he’s done. Mostly, you don’t deserve him as a soulmate. You deserve better, he thinks. 

He feels guilty shutting you out, but he forces the guilt away because he knows you can feel that too. On his bad days, you still assure him that he’s not alone in this world. You give him warmth to soothe his ice-cold heart, but he rejects it, doesn’t want it, doesn’t deserve it, he’ll tell himself. 

One fateful summer day changed that though. 

As Sam Wilson finished packing the car with what he calls ‘beach essentials’, Bucky Barnes had his mind a thousand miles away. 

“You okay, tin man? Got your sunscreen?” His dark-haired friend chides soothingly. Sam was wearing a red Hawaiian shirt, his Raybans clipped onto his lapel, and his skin smelled of berries and shea butter; he smelled and looked like the personification of summer himself.

“Let’s go, Wilson; I don’t have the patience of getting stuck in traffic with the both of ya,” Bucky rolled his eyes behind his dark sunglasses, his hair tied in a low bun, he was wearing a baseball shirt and a summer-themed beach short with seagulls on it, as per Sam’s request. His skin glistened with the newly applied sunscreen he snatched from his go-bag. 

“And what’s so bad about it?” Steve wore a flannel and dark jeans combo, his baseball cap was on backwards, because ‘I wanted to try something new,’ he said, and he opted for a pine-scented suntan lotion instead, deciding to get a slight tan.

Bucky decided not to answer the question.

The ocean mist filled your senses as your book chapter hits its end. Putting down the easy-reading material, you stretched out and propped up yourself, thinking if you should join the other beachgoers in the water.

Giving it a quick thought and then glancing at the beach’s showering station, you decided against splashing around. This is more of a reading day for you.

You picked up your dog-eared book again and started to read when a good gust of wind kicked up the sand, sending a few grains your way, you quickly closed your eyes and yet, just as fate intended, you ended up with sand particles in your left eye.

“Ow, what the--” Bucky instinctively put up his arm to protect his eyes when a breeze flew past them, “something’s in my eye.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuckity-fuck.

Your eye has been invaded by sand and it feels like it’s scratching your cornea raw. You can think straight, you’re in pain albeit minimal, it’s still pain.

You try to scramble for the bottle of water you kept close for hydration, hoping it will be enough to put you out of your misery, washing out the sand.

“Something’s definitely in my eye, Sam, I feel it,” Bucky tries not to squirm so much under Sam’s touch, but the pain feels almost invisible, like it’s not his.

“Stop moving so much, I can’t see anything,” Sam said, reaching into his bag to get his eye drop he was saving especially for this occasion, “I got your back. Don’t tell me that I overpack ever again,”

Drenching yourself in water was better than the agonizing pain you felt not five minutes ago. Your left eye was red, pulsating, and tearing up like a mad dog in a shed; perhaps this was your cue to pack up and go home.

Then you feel that magnetic pull again. Stronger this time.

You suddenly remembered the lore and the tall tales of the universe pulling soulmates together, literally, if they were close enough to each other. You try your best not to walk to your left side as the pull dictates.

“Where are you going, Buck? Our spot’s right here.” Steve said, unpacking the food he prepared for their beach day. Sandwiches, chips, fresh fruits, and beer are already in place when Bucky felt a strong pull to his left side.

“I just- I gotta check something out,” He said, not knowing where his feet are taking him.

The lore said when you meet your soulmate, the gravity will shift around you. The magnets of your souls will push you towards each other even if you try to pry yourself away. Your bodies were from the same asteroid before and now the universe wants you together again.

You feel your skin prickle as you try not to look behind you. You’re familiar with the tales, the personal anecdotes, how it feels to be pulled towards your literal soulmate.

Bucky just stands in the sand, his eyes not wandering too far from where you’re standing, your back behind him.

Is this it? Is this his soulmate?

What if you hate him? What if you don’t want to be with him?

Bucky’s heart quickens with the thoughts, his anxiety riddles his brain as he tries to come up with something to call you.

When the pull is strong and the bond is unbreakable, rare cases of soulmates knowing each other’s names before they met is attainable. 

A single name popped up into Bucky’s head, “Y/N.”

[monaownsmyass]

Peace of Mind

Requested fic by anon. (If you have any fic ideas or requests you'd like me to write, you can leave me an ask!)

Book: My Two First Loves

Pairing: Ava Lawrence x MC (Emma Price)

Genre: Fluff but again, make it angsty

Rating: G, none

Word Count: 2,402

A/N: Ava comes out to MC but MC has her own confession to make. This is technically a continuation of my previous Ava fic but can be read as a stand-alone. And, I’m also planning to write another part to conclude this ‘series’ sooo👀

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 @jjlover01 @soft-for-drake @dopeyouth @alexroyard @satrinadia @toalltheboysididntlove @mypegasifly @samanthadalton @playallthechoices @queensayeed (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics and if you only want to be tagged for certain pairings.)

'Can I talk to you?'

I read the message over and over again for the past hour, cracking my head, trying to figure out what on earth she meant by that.

Did I do something wrong? Did I forget something? Was it personal? Or was it school-related? Maybe something happened?

All I knew was that that sentence was the most stress and anxiety-inducing text I could've ever receive.

And here I was, getting it from my best friend.

'Of course,' I replied almost an hour later even though I saw it as soon as I got the message.

Instantly, my phone buzzed with Ava's respond.

'I have to do it in person. Can I come over?'

Okay, that didn't help at all.

'Sure, is everything alright?'

'Yeah, I just have to tell you something.'

I swear I could hear my heartbeat drumming in my ear from how fast it was racing.

'Okay...,' I sent back and fell back onto my bed, groaning.

My mind raced with a million possibilities. The curious part of me wished Ava was already here and would just tell me whatever she wanted to. The fear-riddled part of me wanted to run away and avoid Ava.

But I was done with that. I was done running away from my feelings, I was done avoiding the inevitable truth.

And maybe, if Ava wanted to tell me something, I should tell her something back. Something I think she should know. Something I should've told her long ago.

But was I ready?

Just then, I heard a car stop outside. I peered out my window and saw Ava's sedan. I watched her step out and my heart leapt to my throat. It had been a usual occurrence ever since a few month ago and I don't know where it came from but the feeling never left.

Ava always walked as if she owned the place, every stride exuding confidence in a way I could only dream of. It was one of the things I've always admired about here. But today, there was an extra power to each step, as if she was a woman on a mission.

And what that mission was? I would soon find out.

I moved to open my room door to find Ava about to knock on it, which made me jump.

Damn, how did she get here so fast?

"Hi!" she said, clearly startled as well.

"Hey!"

I side-stepped and let her into my room, catching a whiff of her flowery perfume as she passed me, making me lose my bearings for a second.

She awkwardly stood at the foot of the bed as if she was waiting for my approval and I looked at her, confused. She'd normally plop herself right on it as if she were at home because honestly, this might as well be her second home.

"Uh, don't you wanna sit, weirdo?" I asked her and giggled despite the nervousness bubbling in me.

"Oh! Um, yeah, right."

She cautiously took a seat at the edge of the bed and I shook my head at her.

"C'mon, sit properly! You look so uncomfortable," I told her and waved my hand at her to move onto my bed even though it was more for my sake. Seeing her so hesitant and stiff in my room, the place I called my sanctuary, the place I only let people I trust the most into, seeing her like this in my private space I gladly shared with her over the past few years was unnerving.

She chuckled nervously and scooched up to the headboard, resting her back against it with me beside her. She looked on straight ahead and I looked at her. For a moment, it was silent.

Dead silent.

I cleared my throat to break it and asked Ava, "I know you said everything's okay, but is it really?"

She didn't respond, only gulped and took in a deep breath.

"Ava?" I placed a hand on her arm that sent a jolt up my own. Her head shot towards my direction as if she could feel it too.

"Sorry, I'm just really nervous," she breath out, looking at me. "I'm... I'm trying to get my thoughts in order. My mind is all over the place and I want to get this right."

I stared at her intently, my breathing slow and deep, waiting for her say something.

Finally, she spoke.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now," she began quietly.

"Something?"

"About myself."

There was a pause between that.

"Okay...," I drew out in anticipation. "What is it?"

"I...," her voice cracked but she cleared her throat before continuing. "I, uh..."

I waited for her as I watched her shut her eyes before exhaling slowly, too nervous to say anything. Then, she opened her eyes and looked right into mine. The intensity and determination in them made me gasp.

"I'm a lesbian."

Her words knocked the air out of my lungs and my eyes widen slightly in realisation.

Did Ava just come out to me?

I felt a deep sense of relief wash over me and I felt strangely... comforted?

I realised she still looking at me, waiting for a respond but all I could get out was, "Oh!

"Oh?"

"Oh."

Ava sighed and began rambling. "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you earlier, I swear. But I wasn't ready, and I didn't know how you'd take it! Not that I was assuming you'd react badly, but I couldn't be absolutely sure. And if you did react badly, there's no way for me to know for sure that you won't tell your sister or dad."

I was watching her go on and on but my mind was in another place, trying to make sense of it all, what this would mean for Ava, what it would mean for us and our friendship, this strange sensation of excitement within me, it was taking over my thoughts and overwhelming my entire being.

"And if that happened, it could spread to other people and honestly? I'm terrified of what people will think. Of how they'll start treating me. It's scary not knowing what will happen if I so much as do or say the wrong thing in front of someone."

That snapped me out of my reverie.

"Hey, Ava, it's okay," I reassured her and pulled her into a hug. All my senses were overloading with everything Ava but I managed to composed myself. "You know I don't care. And don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone."

"Thank you," Ava whispered.

"And you don't have to explain, I understand," I closed my eyes and said the next words softly, carefully. "In more ways than one."

She pulled back and looked at me cautiously. I could feel butterflies in my stomach and I gulped.

"What do you mean?"

Well, this was it.

"I... I think... I might like girls too."

Ava's face went from confusion to shock to relief then to excitement and then... hopefulness? All in the span of a few seconds.

Her eyes shined and in a small voice, she asked, "Really?"

I gave her a slow nod.

She stared at me.

And I at her.

Then, I spoke again.

"But I'm not sure," I admitted. I contemplated telling her the next part but damn it, enough was enough. I said I was done avoiding the truth and I meant it. It was time to own up to it. "The only reason I think I might like girls is 'cuz of this one girl in particular."

"Tell me more about this girl," she challenged and looked me in the eyes.

I knew she knew. Even if she wasn't sure, I knew she had a strong feeling she did.

And in that moment, I also knew I was ready to confirm it.

I gazed back into her brilliant eyes and braced myself to pour my heart, soul and mind to her, all my feelings and thoughts, I was ready to bare everything to Ava even if it left me naked with vulnerability.

I was ready.

"This girl, I learnt so much from her. She's taught me to be confident and to stand up for myself and not let others walk over me. But on days where I couldn't do that, she was always the one who had my back. She's always been there for me and it took me a while, but I realised my feelings for her might go beyond platonic." I paused to gauge her reaction but she remain expressionless. The only way I could tell she was soaking in every word was from the way her eyes focused on mine. Pupils dilated, she clung onto every word I spoke. It made me more anxious but I was glad she was listening.

She deserved to know.

"She's the reason for the smile on my face every day. I see her and suddenly, all my worries are gone and my mind is at ease. She's my comfort and my happiness and my stomach lurches just from the sight of her. She's so beautiful and captivating and when she looks at me, I can't help but feel like the luckiest person in the world. These feelings are confusing and messy and uncertain and I've been trying to figure them out for months now. But if there's anything I'm sure about, it's that I like her. I really, really like her. More than I should."

Never breaking eye contact, I reached out to gently touch her hand that was on the sheets between us. Electricity ran through my fingertips and up my arm, leaving goosebumps on my skin. I saw Ava breathing start to deepen but her gaze never wavered.

"And," I added on, feeling my nerves finally get the better of me now.

The moment of truth.

"I think she feels the same about me."

I saw her eyes become glassy as I felt her fingers intertwine with mine.

And she gave me a single nod.

"She does."

I felt a burst of emotions flood through me as a tear trickled down my cheek. The weight on my chest was lifted and I finally got to breathe again. The burden on my shoulders was eased and I felt so light, I was sure I could fly. The thing that was weighing on my mind was gone and I swear I got giddy from the high of being free.

I was free.

Because the wait was over, the truth was out, I didn't have to run anymore.

"You do?" I asked, voice quivering.

"I do!"

That was when I lost it and broke down into sobs, feeling intense bliss take over me.

This time, Ava pulled me into a hug and I immediately buried my face in the crook of her neck, letting myself cry while she tried controlling her own tears as well but I could hear her sniffling.

"I've dreamt of you saying that for so long," she muttered softly into my hair. "It drove me crazy not knowing if I was imagining things or not."

I giggled despite my tears. "Sorry for making you wait."

"I just want to know," Ava spoke as she pulled back to look at my face. "When I told you I love you that day, you knew how I meant it right?"

I slowly nodded, remembering the way those words were spoken. So soft and emotional and vulnerable. It made my breath hitch hearing them. I could sense how genuine and true those words were from her tone and it overwhelmed me.

Ava Lawrence loved me.

"Did you mean it the same way? When you said it back?"

There was hope in her eyes and I felt guilty. I didn't want to lie 'cuz I wasn't even sure myself.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," I looked away, unable to meet her eyes. "I love you, but I'm not sure how I mean it either." I glanced back at her. "But I do like you, Ava. I really like you."

"I can't say it's the exact answer I was hoping for," she gave me a small smile. "But I'll take whatever I can get."

I shook my head. "No, you deserve more than that. You deserve so much more, but I can't promise that to you, at least not yet."

My heart felt heavy reciting my own words but it was true. I didn't want to lead her on in case it wasn't gonna go anywhere even though I was certain it was.

But I just couldn't take the risk and watch her get hurt because of me.

"I need more time, Ava. I need time to figure this out. To figure my feelings out. I don't think I could live with myself if I end up hurting you. Plus, I still have Noah and Mason to think about..."

Even though they were the last things on my mind.

"I'll wait for you," she quickly said.

"Ava, don't."

"Let me, I've waited for you this long already. Might as well go all the way." She took both my hands in hers and said, "We'll figure this out together. You don't have to do this alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my heart and soul."

She smiled. "Yes, I'm sure."

She stood up from the bed and made her way out of my room and out of my house with me in tow.

At the porch, she stopped walking and turned around to face me.

"I love you, Em. And no matter what you choose to do and what your feelings come to be, just know that I love you."

She was about to turn back and head to her car when I stopped her.

"I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"If you meet someone, don't wait for me. Don't let me stop you."

"But I want to."

"I know you do," I tugged her into me left her a small peck on the cheek, whispering against her skin. "But if you ever decide you don't want to anymore, don't wait. I'll catch up to you."

She held my gaze and slowly gave me a small, hesitant nod. I couldn't promise her my love or time or feelings right now, so I promised her the only thing I knew I could.

"I'll be there."

(More fics!)

[cherrybombusa]

GROUP ONE  - THE LIBRARY. SUCCESS.

PLAYERS:

THE ARTIST - Sloane Salt. THE ROMANTIC - Mac Walsh.  THE  FILMMAKER - Zev King.  THE MANNEQUIN - Lilli Montgomery.  THE BITCH - Zahra Jackson. THE WRITER - Noah Russell. 

PERKS EARNED: 

WALK IN MY SHOES: After Jamie Dyer spilled his secret to save his friends, he’s been rewarded with the ability to put other people in his shoes! If something happens to Jamie he doesn’t like, he has the ability to switch places with any character as if it happened to them instead. 

MEMORABLE MOMENTS: 

-MAC GOT TAKEN BY THE KILLERS.  -LILLI GOT GRABBED TWICE AND TAKEN.  -SLOANE ATTACKED A MAN ON LSD AND SAVED ZEV. -JAMIE SPILLED HIS SECRET TO CLARISSA - AND THE REST OF CHERRY. 

THE NARRATOR: It might not have been a quiet night, maybe not even uneventful, but the Gang found themselves grateful, at least, that the Candy Girl hadn’t shown her face. It was nearing midnight now, and with only Paulie Virginia checking on the kids before they fell asleep on the sand, and Lucas Bright left straggling on the beach with the Gang, they were sure to turn-in soon. 

They were gathered around the bonfire, talking and laughing - almost even letting their guards down - but the screech of three white vans pulling up to the shore interrupted every little conversation taking place around the bonfire. They didn’t want to think anything of it at first… College kids in this town were wild, and they were all piling back into town this week, after all. But when a group of masked, hooded figures with baseball bats, and kitchen knives galore began making their way out of the vehicles, and onto the beach - what were they supposed to do but worry?

OFFICER PAULIE: “Hey! Stop right there!”

THE NARRATOR: It was almost instinctual for the rookie to go right into barking cop voice, even with no back up  - stupid, of course - but another ‘Candy Girl’ stunt was the last thing he was going to let happen on his watch. The man reaches for the taser in his belt, just like he was trained to do, but just as he gets it free, the blur of a body rushing forward - Lucas Bright - distracts him for a split enough second to fumble. 

Paulie almost yells for Lucas to stop, but before he can get the words off of his tongue, the Bright kid nearly runs headfirst into one of the masked figures' fists. It’s shocking how hard he falls - makes Paulie wonder if he’s okay - but before he can wonder too much, he realizes too late that one of the hooded figures has gotten the jump on him. He’s half expecting the figure to reach for his taser - the oh shit moment of the century - but when Paulie feels a baseball bat connect with his ribcage… He almost wishes he had been tased. Might have hurt less.

CANDY GIRL: “Hello, my little freaks and geeks! Did you miss me and my little friends? Because I think tonight is about to get a little more fun.”

THE NARRATOR:  ...Uh oh. Maybe I spoke too soon about the Candy Girl not showing her face. 

It doesn’t take long to get the gang tied up - not with the threat of knives, and Paulie’s discarded taser at the hooded groups disposal - and the ringleader of this little group, the one bouncing around telling everyone what to do, seems absolutely giddy with her capture. What else are you supposed to expect from faceless psychos, though, right?

CANDY GIRL: “Here’s the game tonight, losers! We’re gonna split you up and see if you can pass our little trials. Those who do? They get to go home tonight! Those who don’t…. Well, you might end up closer to Lux than you thought you were before.”

THE NARRATOR: Candy turns toward one of the other masked figures - one that seems like her Helper - flicking her chin toward the Gang. It’s a cue, and that much becomes clear when one-by-one, each of them has a hood slipped over their face, obstructing their view nearly completely.

CANDY GIRL: “But first, we’re going on a little trip!”

THE NARRATOR: It’s hard for the Gang to know just how they’ve been split up, but as they’re pushed forward toward the parking lot - the sound of Paulie’s and Lucas’s far-off groaning in their ears - they know one thing. They’re completely fucked, and there’s nothing they can do about it with their hands tied behind their backs… Especially not when they’re about to be shoved into the back of those fucking vans.

Nobody’s really sure how long they’ve been driving - they’re all too terrified to try and keep count - but by the time the van finally slows to a stop, they’re all dragged right back out onto solid ground, and into… some old building. Just where, is the question.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN TAKEN BY THE CANDY GIRL TO CCU FOR A NIGHT OF FUN. DON’T DIE!

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it’s the heavy doors that give away their final destination, or maybe it’s the musty smell of old textbooks, but those who had ever stepped foot into the CCU library know right where they are at that moment. It’s a comforting place for some - one that induces only stress, or indifference to others - but it’s hard to imagine that it won’t be a place that brings anxiety after tonight; just as tainted as the boardwalk, or even walking along Lux’s and Harvey’s block might be. Now is no time to think about how they might feel in the future, though -- if they even make it that far. No, they’re going to have to make it through tonight first.

The gang is led into the room like lambs to slaughter - Jamie carried not-so-nicely over one of the maniacs shoulders - but once they’re situated, the hoods that cover the gang’s faces come off; they even cut the ropes off from around their wrists, but the knives, and baseball bats manage to keep everyone in their place. The library is dimly lit, with only it’s balcony lights shining down on the grandiose room; the bank of computers on the second floor is like a beacon, beckoning them forward. It almost seems normal for a moment, like they were just there studying after-hours, but the two figures heading the circle - Candy and her supposed assistant - shock them back into reality with a clap of their hands.

CANDY GIRL: “Like I said, we’re gonna play a little game tonight, boys and girls! But, you’re all oh-so-familiar with games, aren’t you? Especially after our special little stunt at the boardwalk.”

THE NARRATOR: Her voice could almost be considered familiar, but nobody in the room really knows where to place the memory of it. Did she actually sound like that recording on the beach? Was she someone they knew? The gang just looks at each other from any angle that they can; making eye contact at whatever cost, as if it might help them all jog their memory to know they’re on the same page. They don’t get another chance to listen, though, as the other figure - Candy's helper - begins speaking.

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER:  “She’s written some riddles!”

THE NARRATOR:  They pull a sheet of paper from their pocket.

CANDY GIRL: “And you’re going to solve them! Don’t worry about the doors -”

THE NARRATOR:  The movement is clearly rehearsed as a number of their captors - five, if you’re counting - head toward the door. Three of them leave, but the other two begin looping chains through the antique handles, locking them into the room with no real escape but up… And we know just how well this group does with climbing.

NOAH RUSSELL: Of course. They couldn't have one fucking night could they? Although what more could he have expected from the masked figure who thought a funeral was the time and place to play spin the bottle. The library of all places had a chilling feel to it in comparison to the beach. Almost theatrical like every horror book he'd ever read, and he sure as hell had read a lot of them. "I'm getting real sick of these damn riddles." He started as he thought about taking a step towards the door before thinking better of it. These people had knives, bats, and while on their own that didn't have to overly intimidating, this was the same person who only too recently before had blown up an entire carousel. "Anyone opposed to taking out the windows?"

SLOANE SALT: On some level Sloane knew that this was... a bad situation. There were scary people with what looked like weapons. Extremely tall people, some as tall as the ceiling, maybe and swaying.  The hooded girl's voice sounded kind of familiar, but considering the state she was in, she could hardly pin point who it was. She hadn't said much of a word on the way to the library mostly because she didn't really want anyone to know that she was feeling weird and now she was sitting on her ass, staring at her newly freed hands. "When did I paint these...?" She muttered to herself, turning her head entirely too slowly to look over at Noah as he spoke. As she took in his words, her expression quickly shifted to offence, her eyes widening and her mouth opening in fear. Those poor windows, they hadn't done anything to anyone. "No, don't hurt them!"

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: “--Um, excuse me? You’re totally throwing us off our rhythm!”

THE NARRATOR: Candy’s little Helper interrupts the conversations with an annoyed tone, as if they’re the ones inconveniencing her night. It’s strange, how nonchalant it is, but Candy just just shushes her. You can't even see her face, but you can almost just tell she's rolling her eyes beneath the mask.

CANDY GIRL: “Will literally just say your line?

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: "Fine! You need three keys, and three keys, exactly!"

CANDY GIRL: "Or you'll spend the night -"

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it’s the fear of the moment that kept all of their eyes focused on the two masked figures interacting with them - tunnel vision, of sorts - but it only makes the loud squish of blade entering flesh even louder than it should have been. The group of them flinching before Candy even has a chance to start shrieking through the pain of the blade in their side.

It was almost unbelievable that it had happened at first - did it even make sense that the Candy Girl’s henchmen were even turning on her?  - but the blood splashing against the tile had to have been proof enough that it wasn’t just some fucked up group hallucination… One that didn’t seem so expected by either Candy Girl, or the other henchmen.

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: “What the fuck is wrong with you!”

THE NARRATOR: Fair question. And the attacker should have heard it - as loud as the second-not-so-in-charge-figure shrieked - but the knife-wielder didn’t even flinch as he dragged Candy toward the bookshelves; blood pouring from the wound in her side.

The other mask - Candy’s little helper - almost considers running for it, throws the note from her hands in anticipation of getting the fuck out of there…  but she hardly gets a chance when her own attacker - the other one of the maniacs who had chained the door - comes from behind her and squeezes their hulking arms around her fame. They have their own knife; one that plunges directly into her abdomen, but the Gang doesn’t have much time to watch as the attacker laughs and drags her toward his own row of bookshelves.

What. The. Fuck.

There’s only a moment of hesitation - it had all happened so quickly - but the gang wastes no more time before fleeing to opposite sides of the library, Mac helping Jamie as best as he can in the struggle. The sound of the woman’s dying screams echo across the space, shaking all of them to their core… but they all know one thing: they need to get their hands on that riddle.

If they’re locked in, then it might be their only way of getting out.

MAKE A CHOICE:  MAC, JAMIE, LILLI, AND NOAH ARE ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE LIBRARY, HIDING BEHIND THE LIBRARIAN’S DESK. ZEV, SLOANE, AND ZAHRA ARE ON THE RIGHT SIDE, MAKING THEIR WAY UP THE STAIRS TO THE SECOND LEVEL.

MAC: Tonight is the first time in his life that Mac thinks he shouldn't have went along with one of Libby's ideas. How stupid of them was it to all gather in one spot in the middle of the night? They might as well have asked Sloane to paint perfect targets on their collective backs. He'd already been freaking out enough as it was, but the sound of that blade? The blood? If he made it out of here alive they were sure to be added to his ever growing list of nightmare material. A sudden rush of adrenaline as everyone begins to flee has him nearly carrying Jamie across the room, ducking under the desk, eyes searching to see if the rest of his friends had made it over unscathed. "What the fuck are we supposed to do now?"

NOAH: Even though he knew about the kind of antics the Candy Girl could have possibly gotten up to, there was a difference between knowing and seeing them first hand. Of course it wasn't the first time he'd seen blood drawn, but the blood from cut lips and faces after a brutal run in from home failed in comparison to what he'd just seen. Candy Girl was supposed to be their captor wasn't she? The one who'd been tormenting them since night one? The one who kept Lux fresh and at the forefront of their minds, unable to move on. Watching her fall to her knees, the screeches of pain that rang out behind them as they'd ducked for cover. It didn't make sense. Any trace of alcohol that had once been intruding his symptom felt faint in comparison as he hid beside the desk. "I don't know but we can't stay here. We're gonna be sitting ducks. We need to find those fuckin' keys, but looking in a library is going to be like trying to find a needle in a haystack." He added in a harsh whisper as he attempted to catch his breath.

THE NARRATOR: Split up and helpless. Fuck. Looks like they need that riddle if they're going to make it out of here alive.

MAKE A CHOICE:  SOMEBODY DOWNSTAIRS MUST RETRIEVE THE RIDDLE: WHO WILL IT BE?

MAC: Mac's eyes dart around the room, searching for the slip of paper he'd seen one of their captors pull out at the mention of riddles. He wasn't even sure if it would help them at this point, considering he was almost positive getting stabbed wasn't part of the plan, but it was their best option. Right? When his eyes finally land on the piece of paper his adrenaline once again kicks in, causing him to lunge across the room in an attempt to retrieve it.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS!

THE NARRATOR: Every step sounds like a symphony in their own ears, each and every movement too-loud, even masked by the sound of Candy and her Helper's screams, but somehow Mac manages to make his way back around the librarian's desk and toward where the riddle was thrown. He gets his hands on the blood soaked paper; the breath leaving his lungs as the sound of screaming begins to die - no pun intended - out. It’s not completely obvious what he should do next, but he makes eye contact with his friends behind the librarian's desk; with the few on the second level. 

They’re never going to make it out of this without each other, so they better think fast. 

They hear the sound of the killers beginning to stir from somewhere within the maze of bookshelves, and just like that a plan forms in their freaky little hive mind. Someone needs to distract the killers while everyone else gets upstairs. But who will it be?

MAKE A CHOICE: SOMEBODY MUST DISTRACT THE KILLERS WHILE THEIR FRIENDS GET UPSTAIRS. SHOULD THEY THROW SOMETHING ACROSS THE ROOM ,  SNEAK ACROSS THE ROOM AND KNOCK SOMETHING OVER, OR SHOULD SOMEONE UPSTAIRS THROW SOMETHING OFF OF THE BALCONY?

ZAHRA:  Zahra peered down at the half left on the floor below. Things had gone wrong so quickly and in so many ways and compartmentalising was the only way any of them were getting out of this in one piece, so she did her best to ignore the fading screams. Instead she turned her focus to her surroundings. There had to be something she could throw down to distract the psychos - there! Her eye caught on a computer plugged in near the edge of the balcony. Wordlessly, she hurried over to it and yanked out the plug. Then, with as much of a heave as she could muster, she threw it over the edge.

MAKE A CHOICE: FAILURE!

THE NARRATOR: It was a long shot, but as Zahra tosses the computer off the railing, only one of the killers turns their head to investigate. The other? Well, their gaze lands directly on Mac. 

It’s hardly a split second before they cross the room toward them, and as hard as Mac tries to fight, but it’s no use - the threat of the knife, and the feeling of it’s handle knocking against the side of his face is enough to give the killer the upper hand… At least they have time to throw the riddle in the general direction of their friend before they’re dragged away toward the maze of bookshelves. 

It’s enough to the rest of the gang all in place, but they know they have to get upstairs -  they have to get the hell out of there, and save Mac.. if there’s even time. They all book it as fast as they can, everyone helping Jamie along the way, and somehow they manage to make it up the stairs before they’re spotted - one of them even manages to grab the riddle, even if they were silently hoping it wasn’t Mac's last gift to them all. 

At least it might actually save them. 

Their hearts are pounding loud enough in their chests that they might swear they could all count each other’s heartbeats. Now is no time to check up on each other, though - not as they lay the first riddle out in front of them

.

If you want the first key, you’ll have to find Me,

I’m the keeper of the scrolls, you see.

Melvil named the system, and I check it twice,

Are you feeling naughty? Then here’s some advice: 

I’ll name a book, or maybe name three -

You’ll choose the one that speaks to the dream 

Of losing it all, or leaving behind 

That sweet, sane, little part of your mind. 

Maybe they fight it, or maybe they end it, 

Maybe the pick is the one your friend mentioned. 

Will your gang make it out? Maybe -  who knows.

But I wouldn’t count on it, unless you all know who glows.

HOODED MANIAC: THE KILLER IS HERE.

THE NARRATOR: The killer hardly sneaks up on the, but the Gang is surprised anyway - each of them gasping as Lilli is snatched up by his grasp. She screams - she's caught - but the rest of them have a choice to make.

MAKE A CHOICE: LILLI HAS BEEN GRABBED. DO YOU TRY TO SAVE THEM OR LET THEM GO?

ZAHRA: Yeah, things with Lilli had always been a little contentious but there was no way Zahra was letting her be dragged away. They'd already lost Mac and that was fucking enough. She lunged forward and grabbed Lilli as she was snatched up.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS!

THE NARRATOR: It’s a great effort, and though they don’t manage much real damage, Zahra's still successful in getting her ""friend"" the hell away from that monster. The whole group is terrified, but they’re quick on their feet as they move somewhere else that could be deemed even semi safe within the madness to solve the next riddle.... Watch out though. I think the killer saw where you were going.

MAKE A CHOICE: LILLI RUNS FOR THE KEY.

THE NARRATOR: Lilli runs as fast as she can - the gang all sneaking close behind - and with the correct location, it’s not hard to find the key taped to a shelf in the history section, along with the next part of the riddle. It should be easy to get back to their friends, but before they can even turn around, she feels hands grasping around her limbs and yanking them back through the bookshelves yet again- dragging her away toward the maze of a room to… She didn’t even want to think about it. She just knew they had to fight - but she can’t do it alone.

MAKE A CHOICE:  DOES SOMEBODY WANT TO SAVE THEIR FRIEND, OR LET THEM DROP THE KEY?

THE NARRATOR: The gang can hear Lilli trying to fight her attacker - her screaming echoing through the space  - and though the guilt eats them alive, they know there’s nothing they can do about it. They just have to hope that the fact that the screaming gets further and further away and doesn’t just abruptly end - just like it did when those two masked maniacs got stabbed earlier - is a good sign. 

The remaining members make quick work of grabbing the key and the riddle, and try to find another safe spot in the library.

If you want to get out, don’t Twist and Shout, 

It’s not the Candy Man locking you out. 

If you feel Clueless, then here’s your clue - 

You can find Me behind door number two. 

How to know you’re close? Just think of the times, 

The 90’s are ending, but gossip still thrives! 

Once you’re through, don’t look any further - 

Your key can be found in the one with no murder.

ZEV: Zev scopes out the Librarian's desk and makes a move for it, trying to keep down and quiet as he dashes, heart pounding in his chest.

THE NARRATOR: Zev sprints with everyone else not far behind him. The key is there, taped beneath Glenda Logan's desk along with the last part of their riddle, but at the very last moment - before the Gang can warn him - one of the killers comes and hits him over the back of the head with his knife. He's got a hold on Zev, and as hard as he's fighting, he's not going to be able to make it out alone.

MAKE A CHOICE: DOES SOMEBODY WANT TO SAVE THEIR FRIEND, OR LET THEM DROP THE KEY? 

SLOANE SALT: All of the running around and masked killers has mostly been Sloane moving in accordance with everyone else, eyes bugged out of her face as she tries not to trip over her platform boots. When Zev gets snatched, it's as if enlightenment comes over her and she suddenly becomes aware that one of her favourite people, someone basically a little brother to her is in danger. "Let go of him!" She screeches as she reaches for him, using all of her body weight to try and pull him away.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCESS!

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it's the LSD, or just sheer willpower, but everyone swears they actually see the Killer flinch as Sloane screams like a banshee toward him. They groan in pain as their shoulder is pulled nearly out of place, and in fear they run as far as they can in the other direction.

 The whole group is terrified, if not confident, but they’re quick on their feet as they move somewhere else that could be deemed even semi safe within the madness to solve the next riddle.

Here’s your third key - you’re almost there! 

Unless you can’t take a bit of a scare. 

Your clues can be found with Clarissa Teller - 

But she’ll only tell you if you can impress her. 

Somebody’s secret must be told.

 It’s only then that I’ll give her the gold. 

So, hurry along! But only choose one.

Oh, wow, oh boy!

Now this will be fun.

MAKE A CHOICE: SOMEBODY MUST TELL CLARISSA THEIR SECRET ON THE COMPUTER UPSTAIRS. WHEN THEY DO, THE LOCATION OF THE THIRD KEY TO BE RELEASED.

NOAH: The panic that had gripped his chest as the evening grew, only intensified as they read their final clue. Mac had been taken, Lilli had been taken, he'd watched helplessly as Zahra saved Zev, and perhaps the bit that was the most impossible to forget, he'd seen the Candy Girl murdered before his very eyes. And while he didn't see the life fleeing from her eyes he could picture it a little too well. "Zev you okay?" He asked, in an attempted moment of calm and partially to distract from the racing of his own heart. Waiting the moment for some sort of nod before turning to the rest of the group. "What the hell is she talking about? What doesn't Clarissa know already?" He asked, his voice soft with profound fear as he glanced around the room. The first two clues while challenging in their own right, they seemed to fall into place, but he dreaded what could possibly be meant by the third.

SLOANE SALT: Sloane was definitely riding on more than one high at the moment, one of the unidentified form, from that pill she'd taken and one from saving Zev. She was breathing heavily, leaning on the table in the study room as she looked around at everyone who was still with them. They needed to get through this, that was the only thing that mattered, even if even the furniture was kind of freaking her out. Throwing her arms around Zev, she turned her head when she heard Noah's voice. Her mouth twisted as she fought off the urge to say something, a sly smile forming on her lips. "Come on, she doesn't know lots of secrets." Her eyes widened as she emphasised the 'lots'. In the state she was in, she was tempted to just start blurting out everything she knew, but then her head turned to Jamie and she suddenly felt guilty. "What do we do?"

JAMIE: Jamie had been watching the crew from the jump, lingering behind the rest not only due to his leg but his own dwindling motivation to be part of some messed up game when two of his favourite cohorts had gone missing with no promise of survival. This was what Cherry was now, a mecca of lost, frantic young adults enslaved to the whims of someone other than themselves.  As terrible as they were, Jamie didn't believe any of them deserved to be forced to admit to something they weren't ready for. That was why he'd agreed to hide the note, wasn't it?

When Sloane's desperate eyes met his, he'd already made up his mind.

"I'll do it," he said, with little fanfare. "Can someone help me up the stairs?"

By the time he was seated at the computer, his heroic resolve had diminished. Words that normally came easy for him sat bated behind still fingers as he thought of exactly what to write when he'd never allowed the thoughts to come to real fruition.

𝐝𝐲𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞:  Dear Clarissa, the day has finally come where I have to acknowledge your existence but rest assured that it's not by my own volition. I have a secret to tell you that I'm sure won't come as too big of a surprise. 

Last semester, I snuck in and did the SATs for Cherry High graduates who had the means to pay. My family is in debt, thanks to my father and his frivolous new wife, and I thought I'd be able to pay it off. I couldn't, but that's not the point. The point is that I enjoyed every minute of it. The studying, the acceptance, the shining accolades.

I mean, I wouldn't have to talk to you if I just went to college, would I?

THE NARRATOR: It probably feels like a punch in the gut to be selling their own secret to the local paper, but as they press send on the keyboard - as Clarissa starts typing - the power goes out, and the room goes dark. It’s terrifying at first, enough to make the Gang clutch at each other, like it might be their last moment… But when the sound of chains dropping from the door handles echoes through the room - followed by the scurry of sprinting out of the library - they almost think to breathe a sigh of relief. Could that really be it? Could it be over? 

They don’t move for nearly an hour - or maybe it just feels like an hour - but when they finally decide the coast is clear, the group of them  - or what’s left of them - sprint down the stairs, and the hell out of CCU as quickly as they can. Maybe it’s a betrayal to not even look for their friends… or maybe their bodies. But how are they supposed to stomach the thought of it? How are they expected to stick around with those… killers still on the loose? 

Are their friends still alive? Is the Candy Girl alive? Who knows. They just know they need to get the police down here to help their friends as soon as they can... even if it means leaving people behind for now.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED YOUR PLOT EVENT. YOUR FRIEND'S FATES ARE UNKNOWN.

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

I didn’t have a specific prompt. I’ve actually sent in some before. But if you really want to add to the list - how about Taylor trying to plan her first vegan/vegetarian ( I’m pretty sure karlie eats some meat and cheese but she seems to prefer that way of eating) and stressing and trying to make it perfect but also trying to hide from Karlie how much she’s stressing to make sure there’s good options for her and the rest of their guests.

This is roughly a million years late for the holiday (or may as well be) and full of (vegan) cheese, but I hope you enjoy anyway! This is probably also riddled with mistakes because I’m too lazy to edit…Thank you to anon for this prompt and any others they’ve sent me! More prompt fills are coming soon!

This is set around thanksgiving 2014, so they’ve been dating for roughly a year. Oh and DC Comics owns Posion Ivy

Tw for, like extremely mild allusions to anxiety…?

Happy belated thanksgiving to anyone who celebrates!! 🥰🥰

—

“Are you okay?” Karlie’s voice floats towards her from what she would guess is the approximate direction of the door. It’s so dark in the room that it’s honestly a little disorienting and Taylor can’t remember her girlfriend even having gotten out of the bed.

“Yeah, of course I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be?” She answers a little too loudly and hopes Karlie doesn’t catch on to the slight stress in her tone.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” Karlie says softly, “I was trying to be quiet but-“

“Don’t worry, you didn’t.” Taylor assures her before going back to the frenetic scrolling she’s been doing for the past few hours.

Is that too spicy? Does she like spicy food? How do I not know this?

The mattress dips a little as Karlie lies back down. “Wait,” she says and though Taylor can’t really see her she can almost hear her eyebrows furrowing in concern, “have you been on your phone ever since we went to bed? What are you doing on there, reading scandalous fanfiction?” She giggles at her own joke and the sound actually calms Taylor down a bit, fills her stomach with warm familiarity.

“You’re such a nerd!” She teases as she switches to another of the countless tabs currently open on her phone.

“I am?” Karlie questions the words dripping with mock-offense, you’re the one who’s been recommending me Poison Ivy fics since the week we meet!”

“I don’t see how that is relevant to this conversation?” Taylor mumbles, before trying to focus her attention on the very involved recipe in front of her.

“Okay, but seriously, are you writing something?”

Do I have to make this butter?

“Tay?”

What is even going on in this one? Cauliflower fried chicken, how the hell is chicken vegan?

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this focused on anything in my life and that’s saying something! You’re not googling yourself again, are you? You know what Tree said about that and you should really get some sleep!”

How many different brands of vegan cheeses are there?

“Hellooo, space cadet, you with me?” That’s when Taylor finally registers that her girlfriend is still talking and she opens her mouth to respond but doesn’t get a chance before Karlie has snatched the phone from her.

“Hey!!”

“Are you actually reading something dirty?”

Taylor finds herself reaching for the phone, but Karlie is already looking down and with the light from the screen illuminating her face Taylor can actually see her eyebrows knit together this time.

“Aww baby, you’re looking up thanksgiving stuff? It’s not for another three weeks.”

“I know,” Taylor says sheepishly, thankful for the dark as her face reddens, “I just like being… prepared!”

“Taylor, you’re an amazing cook, whatever you decide to make will be incredible!” Karlie scrolls a little and looks back up, her eyes filled with something that melts Taylor’s heart in her chest and when she speaks the singer realizes it’s gratitude or maybe surprise. “These are all vegan stuff!”

“Uh-hmm,” Taylor confirms reluctantly.

“Am I the reason you’re up at half past three in the morning stressing over this?” Karlie reaches out to run a comforting hand through Taylor’s hair. “I don’t want you to worry about that, you know I’ll eat whatever you offer me, I’m not picky and I want the rest of your family to enjoy the food too!”

“I know, but mom is bringing most of their stuff anyway and I know you prefer to have options…” She pauses briefly as she realizes she’s speaking a little too quickly, takes a breath. “It’s just, I don’t have that much experience with vegan holiday stuff and I don’t wanna mess anything up!”

“You’re not going to and if you do you do, it’s not the end of the world!” Her words sound so comforting Taylor wants to believe them, but she’s already in too deep in this anxiety spiral to really take anything in.

“This is our first thanksgiving together, Karls,” She insists, trying not to sound as defeated as she feels. “I just want things to be…”

“Perfect?” Karlie finishes and the blonde gives her a small nod, making sure the hand that’s now resting on Taylor’s cheek can feel the movement in the dark.

Karlie processes what she’s saying for a second before responding. “It will be perfect as long as we’re spending the day together. I don’t want you to stress yourself out, if you insist on giving me vegan options, I’ll help make them, okay?”

“But I promised I’d cook everything mom isn’t bringing and that includes your stuff!”

“Hey, this is supposed to be our first thanksgiving together so let’s actually spend it together without one of us agonizing the day away in the kitchen. If you’ll let me I’d love to help, I have lots of great recipes!”

Taylor can’t help, but smile now, “Okay,” she agrees, “we’ll do it together!”

Karlie presses a soft kiss to Taylor’s shoulder. “Together,” she mumbles into the warm skin, “together we can do anything!” Taylor isn’t sure if it’s the comfort of Karlie’s lips on her or the anxiety finally letting up and being replaced by exhaustion, but this time she believes it.

They are going to spend the first of many holidays together and together they’re unstoppable.

[bakubabes-tatakae]

For The Love Of Humanity’s Strongest (Part Nine)

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be in a taglist for this feel free to let me know! Happy to do it for anyone!

(Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Summary: When all seems lost Y/N knows that she can count on one person to always be there for her brother, Eren Jaeger, and herself. Can humanity’s strongest not only keep Eren in line, but keep his relationship alive as well?

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six: *NSFW Ahead!*, Part Seven, Part Eight

AO3 Link

Word Count: 3.3k

Part Nine:

By the time I reached the common area everyone was already down there. I entered the doorway and stretched, a yawn covering my face. Eren sat at the table with Hange, she was still rambling about Titans. Poor Boy. His face looked like he would pass out at any moment. As I entered the room and stood next to the rest of the group I heard her words. “Now let’s review shall we?” 

We all groaned in the corner and as we turned to make our exit a member of the scouts burst through the door. “Section Commander Hange!” Hange stopped talking and looked to them. “It’s the test subjects, they’ve been killed. 

I had never seen Zoe move so quickly in her life. We all grabbed our cloaks from the hanger by the door and made our way out of the building. Who would do such a thing? They were tied down, they weren’t a threat. 

When we all reached where they were holding the Titans Hange jumped off her horse, running as fast as her legs would carry her. I turned to Levi and the rest of them. “I’m going with Zoe, you guys go see Erwin.”

Levi nodded to me. “Take Eren with you.”

Eren jumped from his horse and followed me as I jumped from mine. As we got closer to where they had been holding the Titans I could already hear the mortified shrieks coming from my best friend. 

Zoe held her head in her hands and fell to her knees. “How could this happen?! Someone tell me this isn’t real!”

I looked behind me at my brother. “Stay here.” I slowly approached Zoe. I hadn’t seen her this distraught in a long time. I put my hand on her shoulder and knelt down next to her. “Zoe, I’m right here.” She turned to me and buried herself in my arms, shrieking into my shoulder. 

I heard the squad come up behind us. Eren looked to Levi. “How did this happen?”

Levi watched on as I tried to comfort the one person I knew could never be comforted right now. “Let it go, it’s a matter for the Military Police now.”

Levi left him, but Erwin walked up behind him. As Erwin spoke to Eren our eyes met. “What is it you think you see?” Eren’s eyes grew wide. “Who do you think the real enemy is here?” Eren didn’t say anything, he just stared at him in confusion. “Ignore me. Loaded question.” Even I was confused by his statement, but before I could say anything to him he walked away with Levi on his heels. 

* * * * * * 

Eren tended to his chores as the rest of the squad watched on. None of them lifted a finger but me to help him. We both held buckets up to the horse’s mouths, hoping they would get some food into them when Gunther spoke up. “Hey Eren, do you know if any of your classmates are planning on joining the scouts?”

The Recruitment Drive was tonight. Anyone from the training classes that graduated was able to choose which branch they wanted to join. Eren looked over at them. “Yea, there’s a few.” He turned to the horse. “Or at least, there were. I’m really not so sure now.”

Levi’s horse approached and as he stopped abruptly we heard a shout come from Gunther. “Fall in!”

We all gathered around him. He looked to the three of us that had been outside. “Make ready, we’re going on Patrol.” Gunther and Eld saluted him and left, obeying their orders. 

Eren came running up behind me, stopping next to me. He saluted him. “Good morning Captain, reporting for duty.”

“Eren, you will stay within ten meters of your sister and me at all times. The only reason you’re out of your cell is because I’m keeping an eye on you. Understood?” 

“Yes sir.” A small nod from Eren was given. 

“Let’s ride then.”

I put my hand on my shoulder. “Grab my horse Eren.” As Eren ran off and left Levi and me by ourselves my worry started to show. “We’re leaving early?” All Levi did was nod. “Why Levi? Erwin was dead set on waiting an entire month before we went out. He wanted us to fully grasp Eren’s ability if we can.”

“And he thinks that we’ve grasped it as well as we can right now. We need to see him out in the field before we can say more. He wants us back in town for two days, then we leave. The new recruits we get in tonight will be tried on this mission.” His face turned serious. “You are to stay within ten meters of me at all times as well. I need you to stay objective out there Y/n, you know what that means.”

I swallowed hard. “I will. I promise.”

Eren approached with the horses and we all climbed on, following Levi at full speed. Tonight was the night of the ceremony. I couldn’t believe that Erwin was going to take a chance at having the mission two days early. I couldn’t believe that he was going to take brand new recruits out there. That wasn’t like him at all. I couldn’t deny that it would be good to spend a couple of nights in my own home again tho. 

* * * * * *

When we were all back in town the squad split up, using the last two days to spend some time with our families since we knew we were all about to leave the walls. Levi and I had talked about keeping Eren with us for the next couple of days. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him in a cell until we left. The familiar surroundings that welcomed us when we unlocked the front door of our apartment were like heaven. The pictures of Levi and I hat hung on the wall, the pictures of my family from another time that sat on the coffee table in the living room as you entered. 

I pointed to the back hall and smiled at Eren. “The guest bedroom is right down that hall and the bathroom is right next to it.” I had forgotten that in all the years Levi and I had been together and living in this apartment Eren had never been there. I pointed behind us. “If you need anything during the night Levi and I’s room is over there.” Our room was on the other side of the kitchen. 

The night quickly approached us, time going by at fifty times the speed since we were about to embark on a mission. It always had right before them. 

I stood in our bathroom that connected to our bedroom, closing the door behind me. Just that small difference had alerted Levi as he came into the room. It wasn’t like me to shut the door behind me. I couldn’t help it this time. My nerves were shot, all that had been running through my mind all day was the possibility of us having to kill Eren. Nausea took over as I jumped for the toilet, wrapping myself around the bowl. 

Levi knocked softly on the door after a second. “Open the door Y/n.” I had forgotten I had locked it so I slowly crawled over and did so, returning to the toilet a second later. Levi walked over to me and knelt down slowly, taking my hair in his hands and holding it back. I could hear a small sigh come from him as he pulled me into his arms, sitting on the cold bathroom floor. “Stop stressing yourself out. You’re just making yourself weaker. You have to stay strong for him.”

I leaned into him. “I can’t help it. What if something happens and you guys have to kill him?” I could feel the knots in my stomach coming back but I ignored them. “What if you have to be the one to do it, Levi?”

“I promise that I’m going to avoid having to at all costs, and you know that the rest of the squad will do that same. You know that we have your back as well as Eren’s. He’s all you have left and we all know that. We don’t want to see anything happen to him.” He brushed my hair back with his hand and kissed the top of my head. “Now brush your teeth and come to bed. We have a long day tomorrow. We have to take Eren to meet more of the members before we leave.”

I nodded and sat up slowly. My stomach stopped doing flips as my anxiety calmed a little. I would never understand how Levi was able to do that for me. A rough day of training was ahead for us. It was now or never to get some sleep.

* * * * * * 

Daybreak approached without warning and as I rolled over to say good morning to Levi my arm fell onto the empty bed. My eyes opened and I hopped out. Levi was always right there when I woke up. I swung the door to the bedroom open. “Levi?!”

Eren was at the kitchen table, a cup of warm tea in his hands. “He told me to wait for you and meet him at the training area when you woke up. He’s already there with Hange. Today’s the day they’re gonna stick me in the well and hope I can figure out how to transform again.”

I felt that same uneasy feeling creeping up on me again. I held my finger up to Eren and turned back for the bedroom. When I returned a moment later Eren looked worried. “I’m fine. Don’t worry little brother. It’s just my nerves.”

Eren relaxed a little, but I could tell he wasn’t going to let me off that easy. He’d be watching me the rest of the day. Guilt riddled his face, he knew my nerves were about him, but I would never admit that to him. 

* * * * * * 

We approached the well on horseback, Hange, and Levi already there waiting for us. We both hopped off the horse and I gave them each a weak smile. The flipping in my stomach hadn’t gone away this time. Not a good sign. Levi walked over to me as Hange directed Eren on what to do when he was in the well. “Are you okay?” He placed a hand on the small of my back. 

“I’m fine.” My voice was weak, even I could hear it.

His eyes watched me even though he didn’t protest to what I had said. Hange looked down the wall at Eren. “Are you ready my dear? When we’re a safe distance from the well I’ll fire off a smoke signal. What happens after that is entirely up to you.”

The day was still breaking, the sun still barely risen. I watched the clouds float by as I listened to them speak. Eren raise his hand and shouted back to her. “Ready when you are Commander.” We hopped onto the horses and Levi grabbed the reins to Eren’s horse, leading it up the hill with us. Levi grabbed his signal flare and handed it to Hange, letting her shoot it off.

We waited in anticipation for it to happen but after a few minutes, Hange grew confused. “I don’t understand it. Maybe he missed the signal?”

“Perhaps,” Levi watched the well with intensity. “Or perhaps we’re naive to think he can just turn it on and off.” Levi advanced and hopped down, approaching the well with me in tow. “Eren, enough, we’re done for today.” He could tell there was something wrong before he even reached him. 

I looked down the well at my brother and my eyes grew wide. He stared back up at us with defeat in his eyes. Blood covered his hands and mouth. I grabbed for the ladder, but Levi pulled me back. Eren’s fearful voice broke my heart. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do it now.”

* * * * * * 

We all sat around a table, other scouts filling in the area as the day passed by. Eren wouldn’t let himself feel alright about what had happened earlier. He was so upset that he hadn’t been able to transform that he was beating himself up. I stood next to Levi a little distance from the table, just far enough away that they wouldn’t hear us. “What do we do Levi?”

“We do nothing.” He took a sip from the tea in his hands. “There’s nothing we can do about it. We just have to figure out what makes it so he can transform.” 

“Levi, the bites on his hands aren’t even healing. Usually, they’d be gone way before now.” 

His tone changed as he approached Eren, now worried about that. “They really don’t show any signs of healing?”

“None sir.” Eren rubbed the bandages on his hands. 

“No offense, but you’re not much good to us in this form.” I glared at Levi, his words cutting me. “If you can’t change then our plans for Wall Maria go up in smoke.” Levi’s tone changed from worry to anger. “Pull it together, and that’s an order.”

I watched his pissed of figure leave the table and sat next to my brother. “Don’t take it to harshly.” Petra approached him and my glance changed to her. I hated it when she even went near him alone. “He doesn’t mean to be so angry, he’s just got a lot riding on this plan.” I stood from the table and hoped that I had eased my brother’s mind some, but I couldn’t let the one that was lovestruck by Levi spend too much time with him.

As I listened to Petra question Levi about the whole operation we were all hit with intense heat and wind. I looked behind me and held my arms up, debris swarming the area. The other three members of Squad Levi were flying through the air and Titan steam now filled where the picnic table had been. My heart started to pound out of my chest as the smoke cleared. Eren was standing on top of a half transformed Titan’s arm. 

Eren desperately pulled at his arm, trying to break it loose from the Titan’s arm. “Damn it, why now?”

I ran for my brother at full speed, the rest of the squad reaching him as well. Each one of the four of them drew their blades, pointing them at Eren. My instincts kicked in and I stood in front of all of them, my own blades drawn, pointing them toward my team. “Leave him alone!”

As the steam cleared out more and Levi realized what had happened he ran to us, planting himself between the team and me. “Calm down!”

Eren was frantic behind us, he had thought that Levi was talking to him. “I’m sorry Captain I…” Then he saw the team standing with nothing but malice in their eyes as they watched him. 

Levi was trying hard to calm them down. “The situation is complicated. Now calm down.” He glanced back at me. “You too.”

I couldn’t calm myself. These people were threatening to hurt the only family I had left. “They need to put down their blades first!” The desperation in my voice was becoming all too familiar. “I won’t let them hurt him.”

I could hear Hange’s screaming coming from the distance. Cheer in her voice, but I couldn’t worry about that now. I had to protect Eren.

Eld was screaming now. The whole team about to erupt. “Eren, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Sir, please.” The pleading in Eren’s voice was about to send me into a rage as I listened to my team go after him. 

“Nobody gave you permission to transform! Did they?”

Levi’s calls were still falling on deaf ears. “I said calm down!”

Oluo was next. “Answer the question Eren. What got into you?”

I pointed my sword directly at Oluo. “Try to say he did it on purpose again! I dare you!”

Eld walked toward him, each step making my heart pound. “Leave it, explanations can come later.” He pointed his sword. “First things first, you need to persuade us that you’re not hostile like your life depends on it.” His next words made my eyesight turn red. “Prove it or we kill you!”

I moved my sword from Oluo and swiftly moved to Gunther. My blade inches from his throat. “Try it, Gunther. One wrong move and yours is over.”

Oluo spoke now that my blade wasn’t on him. “So much as move an arm and I’ll take your head off. This is the first and only warning you’ll receive. I could end you in a heartbeat, do you understand me, boy?”

Levi screamed again. “Oluo, how many times do I have to say it…” 

Petra interrupted him. “Captain, I need you to step away. You’re too close.” 

Hearing Petra’s words in my haze of anger made me turn to her, my sword still on Gunther. Levi noticed my eyes and spoke to her himself, afraid of what I might say. “Right now I believe you’re the ones that need to step away. DO IT!”

“Why on earth?”

“Gut feeling.” With each passing second Levi was growing angrier and angrier.

Eld’s face was sweating. “Eren better say something.”

My head was spinning as Oluo started in again. “Don’t try anything!”

“Prove you’re not hostile.”

“I’ll do it, I swear to god.”

Eren finally was overcome with anger. “Be quiet! All of you just be quiet!”

Levi approached me slowly, his hand resting on my arm. My eyes still saw nothing but red as he slowly lowered my sword from Gunther’s throat. My breath was shaky as I watched him. “They won’t hurt him. I’m right here.” 

I could barely catch my breath as Hange came from behind us, screaming my brother’s name. “Eren!” As she reached him she looked rabid. “I want to touch the arm, I wanna touch it.” The woman started to drool. “Pretty please with sugar on top. Let me touch this glorious thing.”

Eren objected. “I don’t think that’s such a good…” Hange approached it anyway. “Wait no!” 

Her hand touched the arm and she instantly tore it away. She turned around and slid onto her knees on the ground. “Son of a bitch! That mother is hot with no skin. This is the best day in the history of science.”

One of her squad members ran up behind her. “You’re a maniac.”

She turned back to Eren. “Are you not burning up? What’s it like? How’s it connected to your hand? You have to show me. I really really really wanna see!”

Eren pulled at his hand and Oluo spoke to him again. “Are you ignoring me? Don’t do anything stupid.”

As Eren’s hand let go I jumped for him, grabbing him right before he hit the ground, breaking his fall some. He leaned against me as I knelt down with him. Hange was screaming on the other side as Titan steam started to take away the Titan arm before us. “Oh no! What are you doing? Not so soon! I wanted to put it under the knife.”

Levi walked up beside us. Eren looked over at him, having a hard time catching his own breath. “Sorry captain.”

“So you feeling okay or what?”

He fought for his breath. “Not… exactly… No.” I wrapped my arms around him and put a hand on his head, brushing hair back. My little brother shouldn’t have to go through this. 

Taglist 💕@gamegirl23100​ @super-peace-fangirl​ @pjimochi​ @izzythefanfreak​ @echimozart​ @peachymochimochi​ @primusk​ @hunie-hun @absolute-randomness-forever​ @omg-lexiiloveyou @dazaismaniaclaugh​ @renaissance-tragedy​ @titaniabuck @always394patronus​ @yeoulkim​ @thefirelordm​ @inmyouwnthoughtss​

[bitchassbackup]

Twined: A Soulmate AU

Word count: 1,580

Warning/s: Mentions of death

A/N: Hey lovelies <3 @honeyvbarnes​ and I worked on this Soulmate AU and we hope that y’all like it! I loved working with my bff and we’ll do it again hopefully <3 enjoy!

Bitchassbucky’s Masterlist

Honeyvbarnes’s Masterlist

When Bucky Barnes died back in 1943, he died knowing that he lived his life without a soulmate.

When he turned eighteen, he waited for a flash of annoyance, stress, or anything emotionally malicious that came from his soulmate since emotional pain is supposedly said to connect two wandering souls no matter how far they are from each other.  

A bit sadistic, Steve Rogers would say. But Bucky would always counter his friend’s point with, “you see, Stevie when your soulmate gets hurt, you’re the only one who can hear them– at least in your head– and you can help them, you can help them find you,”

“Still, I don’t want someone to suffer just to make a connection with me,” Steve said, ever a gentle-hearted (but strong-headed) person.

“They’re not gon’a. Annoyance is enough for them to create a short connection,”

“What I’m hearing is that I get a pass for annoying you more,”

—

It’s hot. Searing. Humid. The air is so thick, you can almost choke on it.

The beach is filled with people– couples and families mostly and your mind wanders to soulmates.

You never had one and as far as you’re concerned, you’re better off without one.

Since your eighteenth birthday, you felt a great deal of stress coming off from your soulmate. You had to go through various therapy sessions, evaluations, and couple’s counseling since the supposed love of your life won’t answer to your pleas and calls as to what the fuck is going on inside their head.

They never let you in and it seems like they will never let you in.

Not now and not ever especially since the torment of nightmarish inner turmoil had subsided; granted, there are still some night terrors but it doesn’t compare to the pain you felt back then.

You started thinking maybe they were in the army or something of that sort.

Maybe, maybe. What if, what if

That’s your inner turmoil; the boiling water inside the pot.

You weren’t sure where to start looking for them– you spent years trying to get through but you never get as much as a word.

So you gave up.

And not a lot of people give up on their soulmates, at least not the ones who never had to spend literal years of their lives trying to coax out a word out of their loved one.

You still get worried and anxious about them. You still try to comfort them after a particularly bad nightmare even though you know they won’t answer back to you. You still tell them that you’re always there, ready to give the comfort only a true soulmate can give.

You wanted to give them warmth not knowing that they dislike the heat.

—-

Bucky had always hated the summer. He hated how everything is so warm and dry and humid. He hated how he can’t stay bundled up in dark sweaters and jackets, he hated the way that the glow of the scorching sun brings out the best in people.

He prefers the cold. The harsh winters remind him of his past, and he likes to suffer, he allows the despair and loneliness to settle deep in his bones. The heat of the summer makes it more difficult for him to keep his mind separated from yours.

Bucky Barnes died back in 1943 without a soulmate, but after his resurrection in Wakanda, he knew you were there. The dull feeling of annoyance would come in waves and he knew you hadn’t felt him yet.

Oh, but you did, he came to realize. Over the years, Hydra had control over him, his mind, and his soul. The constant wipe of his memories not even sparing a chance for him to feel emotion, to feel you. The harsh realization that you had to feel the same pain he had, makes him sick.

Thinking of the years of abuse and torture makes him want to apologize profusely, but would you even understand? Would you ever love the person that’s caused you so much pain? He doesn’t know who you are or your age, and the fact that his soulmate lives in an era where he was never meant to live in, still confuses him to this day.

So he’s built up walls, a mind blockade in hopes that you’d move on without him. He doesn’t deserve love after all that he’s done. Mostly, you don’t deserve him as a soulmate. You deserve better, he thinks.

He feels guilty shutting you out, but he forces the guilt away because he knows you can feel that too. On his bad days, you still assure him that he’s not alone in this world. You give him warmth to soothe his ice-cold heart, but he rejects it, doesn’t want it, doesn’t deserve it, he’ll tell himself.

One fateful summer day changed that though.

—

As Sam Wilson finished packing the car with what he calls ‘beach essentials’, Bucky Barnes had his mind a thousand miles away.

“You okay, tin man? Got your sunscreen?” His dark-haired friend chides soothingly. Sam was wearing a red Hawaiian shirt, his Raybans clipped onto his lapel, and his skin smelled of berries and shea butter; he smelled and looked like the personification of summer himself.

“Let’s go, Wilson; I don’t have the patience of getting stuck in traffic with the both of ya,” Bucky rolled his eyes behind his dark sunglasses, his hair tied in a low bun, he was wearing a baseball shirt and a summer-themed beach short with seagulls on it, as per Sam’s request. His skin glistened with the newly applied sunscreen he snatched from his go-bag.

“And what’s so bad about it?” Steve wore a flannel and dark jeans combo, his baseball cap was on backwards, because ‘I wanted to try something new,’ he said, and he opted for a pine-scented suntan lotion instead, deciding to get a slight tan.

Bucky decided not to answer the question.

—

The ocean mist filled your senses as your book chapter hits its end. Putting down the easy-reading material, you stretched out and propped up yourself, thinking if you should join the other beachgoers in the water.

Giving it a quick thought and then glancing at the beach’s showering station, you decided against splashing around. This is more of a reading day for you.

You picked up your dog-eared book again and started to read when a good gust of wind kicked up the sand, sending a few grains your way, you quickly closed your eyes and yet, just as fate intended, you ended up with sand particles in your left eye.

—

“Ow, what the–” Bucky instinctively put up his arm to protect his eyes when a breeze flew past them, “something’s in my eye.”

—

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuckity-fuck.

Your eye has been invaded by sand and it feels like it’s scratching your cornea raw. You can think straight, you’re in pain albeit minimal, it’s still pain.

You try to scramble for the bottle of water you kept close for hydration, hoping it will be enough to put you out of your misery, washing out the sand.

—

“Something’s definitely in my eye, Sam, I feel it,” Bucky tries not to squirm so much under Sam’s touch, but the pain feels almost invisible, like it’s not his.

“Stop moving so much, I can’t see anything,” Sam said, reaching into his bag to get his eye drop he was saving especially for this occasion, “I got your back. Don’t tell me that I overpack ever again,”

—

Drenching yourself in water was better than the agonizing pain you felt not five minutes ago. Your left eye was red, pulsating, and tearing up like a mad dog in a shed; perhaps this was your cue to pack up and go home.

Then you feel that magnetic pull again. Stronger this time.

You suddenly remembered the lores and the tall tales of the universe pulling soulmates together, literally, if they were close enough to each other. You try your best not to walk to your left side as the pull dictates.

—

“Where are you going, Buck? Our spot’s right here.” Steve said, unpacking the food he prepared for their beach day. Sandwiches, chips, fresh fruits, and beer are already in place when Bucky felt a strong pull to his left side.

“I just- I gotta check something out,” He said, not knowing where his feet are taking him.

—

The lore said when you meet your soulmate, the gravity will shift around you. The magnets of your souls will push you towards each other even if you try to pry yourself away. Your bodies were from the same asteroid before and now the universe wants you together again.

You feel your skin prickle as you try not to look behind you. You’re familiar with the tales, the personal anecdotes, how it feels to be pulled towards your literal soulmate.

Bucky just stands in the sand, his eyes not wandering too far from where you’re standing, your back behind him.

Is this it? Is this his soulmate?

What if you hate him? What if you don’t want to be with him?

Bucky’s heart quickens with the thoughts, his anxiety riddles his brain as he tries to come up with something to call you.

When the pull is strong and the bond is unbreakable, rare cases of soulmates knowing each other’s names before they met is attainable.

A single name popped up into Bucky’s head, “Y/N.”

[theritualofourexistence]

Odes to Old Gods

I started this year intending to journal about things I survive. Then at the end of the year, I could look back on my challenges and think about them in a more positive way--wow, look at what I overcame! The plan was to document everything, both good and bad, so that I could think about them more as experiences and lessons learned than as... good and bad. 

Needless to say, I stopped keeping track of those things in April. 

Earlier this month, I pulled out the journal again to update the list. I ended up quitting on that too. 

I do think, though, that in a less chaotic year, thinking about my life this way would be good practice. So, here I am, sharing my list with you in the form of an end-of-year, wrap-up blog post. 

A few quick caveats: 

This year was hard for literally everyone except maybe Jeff Bezos. 

It is not healthy to compare challenges or struggles or suffering.

I am not sharing this because I am looking for sympathy... I believe that being vulnerable is a very important part of the human experience but we can all also use a reminder that we never really know all of what anyone is experiencing. We shouldn’t need that reminder to treat others with love... but the older I get, the more I think those reminders might be necessary.

Things I have survived in 2020:

- A bit of a stalking experience in January which has since been resolved.

- Losing my job, hunting for a new job, securing a new job, training for the new job.

- My first Harry Potter tattoo for my ten-year tattooiversary.

- The fires in Australia.

- An absolutely wonderful trip to NYC with my dad when I got to see both Beetlejuice and Hadestown and have an enormous strawberry cheesecake milkshake from Junior’s. 

- Losing Kobe Bryant.

- Parasite absolutely CRUSHING the Oscars.

- Having a really, really good visit with my grandparents in March before all hell broke loose. 

- Weinstein being convicted and sentenced.

[Everything after this point happened during a global pandemic.]

- Losing Grandmom. I was unable to attend her funeral and still have not had the chance to grieve this loss with my extended family. 

- Losing my health insurance.

- A Zoom party for my Grammy’s 80th birthday.

- Losing Breonna Taylor. And George Floyd. And so, so many others. This is the first year I have really committed to understanding the current race-related issues this country faces and BOY, do we have work to do.

- The stress but success of orchestrating a safe family trip so that I didn’t have to go an entire year without seeing my brother.

- Losing my shifts at my primary job due to virus-related concerns.

- Countless other family happy birthdays over Zoom.

- My 60-year-old mother returning to work face-to-face with a student population that largely ignores all virus-related guidelines despite her working tirelessly for months this spring to offer UHS providers an adequate work-from-home option. 

- Being diagnosed with hypertension.

- A nightmarish friend trip. Despite our best laid plans for a safe and healthy visit, Mother Earth decided to trap me 90 miles north of my best friends for 4 days. I eventually got to see them for about 12 hours and honestly, it was worth it. That is the only time I’ve gotten with them all year.

- Losing Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

- The selection of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court.

- Our sweet girl Clio being diagnosed with a seizure disorder and then coming down with a life-threatening upper respiratory infection. 

- Learning that my grandmother would be voting for Trump in the 2020 election.

- The actual election.

- Losing Rooster, my sweet, sweet boy.

- Learning that my uncle has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer.

- Missing Thanksgiving with my extended family.

- Getting really excellent holiday gifts for my favorite people.

- Missing Christmas with my extended family.

- Safely spending some holiday time with my immediate family.

That is FAR from everything. But I don’t have the energy? Capacity? Time? to sort through everything.

Here are the things from this year that I am still currently surviving:

- A global pandemic! And all the associated chaos. With my asthma and high blood pressure and obesity, I am considered high risk and am still not able to safely return to my primary job. 

- Hypertension! More on this later.

- Grieving Rooster. In the days after we said goodbye, I wrote a memorial that I will eventually share here. Psychology has recently analyzed data suggesting that losing a pet can be equivalent to losing a relative... I have never felt grief like this. It’s been over a month. I cry every night. 

- Managing Clio’s health. She is still adjusting to her seizure medication, which she gets twice a day, and is still on medication to help with lasting symptoms of the respiratory infection. She is fussy about food and her weight fluctuates a lot week to week. She is also a feral rescue who has only ever been handled by me, my mom, and our vet. If mom and I are ever going to vacation together again, we will need to find someone who can manage catching and pilling her twice a day... no easy feat. Fortunately, at the moment, vacations aren’t really a thing for either my mom or I and I am working hard to approach these concerns in a cross-that-bridge-when-we-come-to-it way.

----

This year has been overwhelming. The last two months alone have been overwhelming. And they would’ve been overwhelming without the added spice of a global pandemic. The number of Americans we have lost to this virus has doubled since I last posted here in mid-August. Some time this week we are likely to reach a point where we’re losing 4,000 Americans per day. PER. DAY. This year has been overwhelming.

----

There were some good things this year, of course. I am so, so thankful for all the time I got with my immediate family and the very brief but vital time I got with my friends. Fortunately I am only ever a text away from my closest friends and we are able to message pretty much every day. I am also extremely glad to have found a place in the fantasy enamel pin community. The family I’ve found in pin-land has carried me through some of my lowest points this year. I spent more time in view of the ocean than I typically do in a given year... even though much of that time was still riddled with anxiety. I did art this year. I read books this year. Some really important ones, in fact. If you read nothing else in 2021, read The New Jim Crow. I also got tattooed! I’m going to include those here because I think the significance of each reflects something interesting and important about all I have survived and am surviving this year.

----

In January, I got my first Harry Potter tattoo! My favorite quote from the entire series is delivered by Hagrid during the Triwizard tournament:

”What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” 

I got that incorporated into a tattoo. In January. 

Also in January I got a “Prisoner of Donuts” tattoo... because life just wouldn’t be manageable at all without donuts.

In March, I got a bird of prey carrying a book to represent one of my all time favorite poems, “On Thought in Harness” by Edna St. Vincent Millay. The final lines of that poem:

“Soar, eat ether, see what has never been seen. Depart, be lost, but climb.” 

In July, I was able to safely navigate getting a tattoo that symbolizes the saga told in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. LOTR is my first and oldest fandom and the story is still so, so important to me today. The lessons I learned from Tolkien when I was a kid also carried me through some of my hardest moments this year.

Also in July I got a Plumpy tattoo. That’s right. Plumpy. From Candyland. If you haven’t played the game in a while, you may not remember Plumpy. He’s one of the first characters you meet on the game board... and one of the worst cards to see when you’re close to winning the game. You could be three damn squares from the finish line and pull the Plumpy card and back to the beginning of the board you go. Plumpy is a really great reminder that even when we have no choice but to lose ground, we can gain that ground back again. And hey, once you pull the Plumpy card from the deck, you likely won’t see him again for a good long while. 

In October, I was able to safely navigate getting my second Harry Potter tattoo. Neville has always been one of my favorite fantasy characters and I chose to carry him with me permanently. His courage, despite so, so much bullshit, inspires me every day. I also got a nautical tattoo for my mom’s ancestors who came to this country and fought in the Revolutionary War. Just as my family has a long and proud history of fighting for what matters, I too will carry that banner, even if it looks very, very different in the modern age. My third tattoo of the appointment is a cuckoo holding playing cards, a nod to one of most important stories I’ve read: Ken Kesey’s “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” This book has informed not just my personal journey with mental illness but my passion to work in the field as well. My final tattoo of my October appointment, less than a week before the 2020 election, is a weeping Lady Justice. 

----

This year has made me look critically at things I very comfortably ignored for a long time. I would hope that it has done the same for most of you. Very little if any of this year was easy for me... but the most important lessons are never easy to learn. I’ve spent this year more worried and more angry than I’ve ever been before... and all I hope to do moving forward is use that fear and that anger to make this country, this world, a better place. Miss me with your resolutions this year. Every single day we should prioritize surviving and treating others with understanding and active love. I worked hard to do that this year and I will continue to work hard to do that every day. I’m proud of the work I’ve done. And in case it wasn’t clear, I’ll be dragging as many of you as I can on this journey with me. If you really feel the need to make a resolution this year, resolve to learn. Resolve to understand. Resolve to read The New Jim Crow and then TAKE ACTION. Take action with your votes and your voices and your money. Resolve to act.

----

This year wouldn’t let me escape it without being put on blood pressure medication, despite my best efforts to lower my blood pressure without it. Although I had gotten back down into a healthy range for a few weeks, RBG’s death and the landslide of utter shit that followed that completely wrecked all the progress I had made. I’m not happy about adding a new medicine to my regimen. I’m not happy about adding a new chronic diagnosis to my already lengthy laundry list. I did not expect 30 to look like allergy pills and three daily moisturizers and foot stretches and Metamucil and acid reducers and migraine medication and iron supplements and six prunes a day and chronic pain and blood pressure medication... but here we are. I’m exhausted from working so hard to be healthy just to have all that work not be enough. I feel very much like my body is giving up on me... and that is a feeling I am struggling with a lot right now. My soul is a vibrant but powerless passenger in a car speeding towards the edge of a cliff.

I’ll keep trying though. I start my new medication tonight. Hopefully it helps. Hopefully the side effects are manageable. I don’t really feel like I can handle much more... but I guess we keep going until we can’t.   

----

I have no expectations for 2021 to be better. I don’t have much hope for it to be better either. This vaccine will saves lives and that’s really good news. But a lot of other things will be difficult, will stay difficult, will become difficult. I’m going to try to keep fighting, and I hope you do too. 

“What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” 

[megaderping]

Having another one of those anxiety-riddled days, and I hate it. :/ Anxious rambling below. Please don’t reblog.

I... have some weird traumas, tbh. A lot of gossiping and backtalking from when I was a kid has made me STUPID paranoid about people just. Not communicating and time and time again I’ve had to deal with some pretty awful crap like folks conspiring behind my back to get me removed from a server/community because I was “too soft” and “too sensitive”. Because apparently caring about the feelings of others and encouraging kindness is “sugarcoating” and that’s NO GOOD. Sure, it got resolved, but I still remember it and it still hurts. Because it’s happened so many times. People periodically taking their issues with me to other people instead of telling me so I can learn and improve on those behaviors- something I care a LOT about, tbh. Like, honestly. If I EVER say or do anything hurtful, or my work conveys an uncomfortable message, it’s okay to talk to me about it. Communication is so, SO crucial- and previous lack of communication honestly has me constantly second guessing everything I say and do. I’ve been gaslit in the past. I’ve been treated to passive aggressive jabs where people won’t just TELL me what it is wrong but you can tell something is. And the condescension. Good lord, the condescension. People talking to me like I’m a little kid... Awful. Absolutely awful. It’s happened to me at my JOB, even. That condescending tone when I say something that I guess was dense? Or something? I dunno. But it still stings. It reminds me of all the times it happened before. Just like the gossip. And the two-faced behaviors, being friendly to my face but wanting me to be “fucking destroyed”. I remember this one time a coworker humiliated me by, during break, telling me over the headset that I needed to move a cart and insisting I do it RIGHT AWAY... but by the time I got out there, he’d moved it all ready and was so smug about it. In general, I just tend to internalize a lot of these negative experiences, and then replay them in my head randomly. Usually when something tangentially reminds me of it. And the problem is... it’s hard not for me to take this stuff to heart. In January, I was harassed on a freaking virtual pet site of all things. It’s stupid, right? That I’d get so worked up over a silly game that’s long antiquated- it was petty and I should’ve just walked away. But the passive aggression and nasty messages I got, the accusations, the gossip... 

It was seriously bad for my mental health because it reminded me of all the times from my childhood to the present I’ve had to deal with crap like that. So I can’t detach because my mind goes on this snowball of a tangent of all these bad memories. Which is also a problem, I think? That when something upsets me, instead of backing away, I just. Focus on the thing that’s upsetting me, which makes it worse. (This is the part where I acknowledge tumblr is so not a substitute for therapy. I don’t expect anyone here to have the answers, I just really need to vent.) I think another problem I have is just... this eagerness to please as many people as possible, which can lead to me being basically a doormat because I’m too scared to upset people thus too scared to take a definitive stance. Or I hide my feelings for fear of conflict. Which is stupid, I know. It’s important to be firm. And it’s not like I HAVEN’T been in the past- but sometimes getting to that point is scary. And my go-to response when people are mad is “it’s my fault,” which is probably not healthy either. I think it’s something that’s easily exploited. So often I get put into situations where I’m expected to mediate. And even though it’s stressful for me, I do it because I’m empathetic and care so much about how other people feel. It is SO hard for me to be like, “I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable getting involved.” It’s also just... hard when someone says something that bothers ME to like. Confront ‘em about that. It’s been an issue in the past- particularly since my server opened- where someone might say something offensive and I’d get intimidated instead of putting my foot down because I’d already been told repeatedly that I’m “too sensitive.” That it’s ‘censorship’ to ban certain terms that MULTIPLE friends and users deemed uncomfortable. That people need to “grow thicker skin”. Good lord, when we banned certain slurs, some people were OUTRAGED and tried to argue “but it’s not ACTUALLY a slur!!!” People getting miffed about our restrictions on overly offensive/edgy humor and toxicity. Maybe some folks need to “grow thicker skin.” Maybe I do, too. But I’m not gonna be a hardcase who disregards the feelings of people who trusted me enough to tell me that, hey, this is a very uncomfortable and hurtful term. Again, I honestly do care a lot about how other people think/feel to like... an overwhelming and probably unhealthy degree? But I just... think it’s important to be kind to others. And to me, getting angry because one community decides, hey, maybe don’t say something that is hurtful to a lot of the userbase is just... callous. And I know you can’t please everyone. That constantly worrying about other people’s opinions will only bring more stress- but at the same time, I also don’t want to be entirely dismissive. I want to accept that yes, I can make mistakes, and yes, I’m not perfect- but also make efforts to improve. But sometimes it’s just so hard to tell when it’s just my paranoia and when it is legitimately time to make an effort. Just... I dunno. This became a ramble with a lot of tangents. Kinda like my last big rant. x_x It really was a stream of consciousness thing, I guess.

[shawn-does-stuff]

SHAWN MENDES AND CAMILA CABELLO ARE THE SOUNDS OF SUMMER

Just in time for summer and their single, "Señorita," this season's biggest stars grace our digital cover.

June 21, 2019

The Internet is begging for Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello to “get together.” As two of the world’s biggest stars, who also happen to be old-time friends, the hankering for them to become this age’s Britney and Justin is both abundant and palpable. Fans obsess over public displays of adoration from one to the other, like after they each performed (separately) at the 2019 Grammys—a feat that’d been on their joint bucket lists since they were kids, “singing Ed Sheeran songs in the dressing room,” Camila tweeted that night.

Getting the two together was almost a year in the making. One pop star’s schedule? Crazed. Two? Impossible. Let’s look at what’s on the agenda. Headlines tell us Camila’s set to star in a new reimagined Cinderella, recorded “Find U” with Mark Ronson, and is finishing up a new album, while Shawn fronts Calvin Klein’s latest campaign, tours the world, and just released his latest song “If I Can’t Have You.” Thankfully, for their throngs of fans, the two did get together — just not as a couple.

Today, the two drop their joint single, “Señorita.” The irrefutable summer smash is an accruement of their songwriting talents, vocal flair, and sixth sense for pop gold that’s already landed both Cabello and Mendes on the top of international charts. What’s more is the song’s unapologetic frivolousness. Its self-aware levity is an encapsulation of where both artists stand at the moment: on top of the world, riddled with talent and a world full of stirring opportunities.

The excitement is something we all can relate to in the summer time, even if on a much smaller scale. To celebrate “Señorita,” we photographed Cabello and Mendes together (before they flew off in opposite directions) and had the two pop giants tell us all about their fruitful friendship.

Catch “Señorita” and the full interview, below.

•

Camila Cabello: Do you remember what your first impression was of me?

Shawn Mendes: That’s a great, great question.

CC: It’s a good one. I remember thinking we met on the Austin Mahone tour, and I remember I wanted to hang out with you, but you were always on the tour bus, just learning guitar.

SM: Yeah, that was me. I didn’t talk to anybody. You were the only person that talked to me. Like, you were the only one of everybody on that tour who would say words to me. Actually, I think if we go into our DM’s or something, there’s a photo from the day we met, I think.

CC: I also remember right before going on stage, I would hear you [singing].

SM: I also thought you were crazy. Insane.

CC: I am.

SM: Yeah, you are. And I thought you were out of your mind. I’d be in my bus where no one could see me. I’d be looking through the window and I’d see you like, flying around on a scooter and jumping and doing cartwheels. I’d be like, she’s insane. Close the window and go to sleep.

CC: Yeah, I was actually even crazier as a kid. My name on Facebook one time was Carla Billaba Billabong Cabello ’cause I thought I was funny. I was one of those people.

SM: You’re insane.

CC: Writing a song with someone is a vulnerable process, so how do you get over being shy about your ideas, opinions, etc. when writing with someone?

SM: I think you get over that before you even walk in the room.

CC: You do?

SM: I do.

CC: You’ve never been nervous when writing with someone?

SM: About like opening up to them?

CC: Yeah.

SM: Not about that. I get nervous about like, am I gonna be a good singer today?

CC: Really? That is so funny.

SM: Yeah, but then about the opening up, I’m okay with that.

CC: Especially if I have a lyric that’s really personal, I’m like, “Oh my god, I do not want to say this in front of five people right now.”

SM: I literally walk in and I’m like, here’s the deal, 100 percent from the top.

CC: I think I make myself do it anyway, but it’s definitely nerve-racking to me.

SM: I really trust songwriters. I don’t know why I trust them so much. I shouldn’t trust them. I tell them everything, like too much.

CC: I know. I’m the same. I’ve literally thought if somebody was voice memo-ing this conversation, my entire life—

SM: Is over. Everything.

CC: Yeah, for sure. But for me it depends what vibe someone’s giving off. I feel like if you write with someone and they’re not sensitive, then I feel weird being like, “And then this happened, and then this happened…”

SM: And they’re just like, “Okay, well, couldn’t it be simpler? Like, we’re trying to write a hit.”

CC: Yeah, exactly. Then I’m like, “Woo, shutdown.” How do you gauge the success of a new single or record outside of charts and numbers?

SM: People on the street. Like, just people. And life, like nothing to do [with] online. If you’re walking down the street, and someone’s like, “I love your new song,” that’s a thing. ’Cause I think anyone online can say things easily. But it takes someone to really love it to say it in person.

CC: I actually really like when I see little kids singing along. Like if a fan is like, “Look [at] my baby brother [singing].”

SM: Yeah, that means it’s hitting a nerve.

CC: I think that’s really cool.

SM: So, “Señorita.” I had to do it all in Spanish yesterday. It was insane.

CC: Woah, I haven’t heard it.

SM: I haven’t heard it either.

CC: Do it right now.

SM: No.

CC: Do just one line.

SM: No, I can’t even remember one line.

CC: Okay, some funny details about the song. The song is actually like eight months in the making.

SM: It took me 10 months to convince Camila to sing this with me.

CC: This is true. My fans are just absolutely gonna hate me now.

SM: Oh, they should.

CC: They’re like, “She’s so stupid.” Honestly, it just takes the right time for things to happen, I feel. You know?

SM: Yeah, 100 percent. We also did a song before…

CC: We wanted to do a song called, “I Know What You Did Last Winter” and "I Know What We Did Last Fall”.

SM: And our managers were like—

CC: They were like, “No,” and we were like, “What?!” We almost fired them. We were like, “What do you mean? How’s that not a good idea?”

SM: And the “Last Fall” was a really cool idea.

CC: It was really cool. Then we did the winter version that was like Game of Thrones version.

SM: Yeah, Game of Thrones Christmas.

CC: Yeah, and then we did Spring, which was like flowers.

SM: Yeah, but none of those worked. But “Señorita” was great. I think this is probably the most anticipation I’ve ever had to release a song. Besides “I Know What You Did Last Summer.”

CC: I know, me too. It’s actually sick though because nobody knows that it is happening. Which has been really, really cool, like that we’ve actually been able to keep a secret.

SM: Literally no one has any idea. People probably don’t even think we’re in the same place in the world.

CC: We were looking at the video for “I Know What You Did Last Summer” and we were 30-feet apart.

SM: Numb…But now this video is basically the complete opposite of that. We grew up a little bit.

CC: Yeah, I think we’ve definitely matured. I actually think when we were that age we did not know what was going on. We were just like, going through stuff.

SM: I had no idea what was going on at all times.

CC: And now I feel like I’m gonna remember this moment, as opposed to like—

SM: Back then. I think we were just doing what was right in front of us. Now, we’re like, “Okay, this is uncomfortable. Let’s do it because of that. Let’s push ourselves because it’s hard. Let’s push ourselves because its uncomfortable. And that’s making it great."

CC: What are some of your own personal goals in the next five years? Oh, how do you feel like you’ve grown as a person in the last five years?

SM: I think that all of the things I was putting importance on were so wrong. Like three years ago. Like the things I worried about and the things I was hoping people were liking and just like unnecessary stress and anxieties on things that I didn’t need to worry about…I used to get so nervous and numb about everything.

CC: I know, I used to get so nervous and kind of suffer through even good things before I was like, “So then when am I actually going to enjoy my life?”

SM: You’re like, you’re playing the Grammys—well not the Grammys, but you’re playing something, and this is like a—

CC: Actually, that was the first time I actually enjoyed the Grammys.

SM: Me too, I loved it.

CC: And I literally was like, do you know what? If this is going to be what you do 90 percent of your time, what’s the point of being miserable?

SM: 100 percent. Then what’s the point?

CC: Then just don’t do it, bitch.

SM: I was literally like that. I feel like back then, we were like, “Oh my god, I have to do my singing in the morning.”

CC: And then I realized, what’s the point? I actually realized that people’s opinions don’t actually matter to me that much. Like they don’t matter more than my experience.

SM: Exactly, yeah.

CC: That was such a big thing for me. I was like, “Okay, I’m so nervous about this interview or this session because I care what other people that I don’t know, what they think.” What’s the point? I don’t even know them.

SM: You’d go to start singing and you’d be like, I’m thinking about what people are thinking about me; I’m not even thinking about singing. Like am I literally 100 percent just thinking about what everyone’s thinking about me, and just doing the motions?

CC: Self-love is being like, “I actually just care about the experience that I’m having more than what the other person thinks of me.”

SM: 100 percent. Especially when you’re young, too. This is the time when I’m supposed to be having the most fun and not stressing.

CC: For sure. Okay, one last question. What is something that you would want to do, that’s non-music related, in your career?

SM: I want to open a coffee shop. It’s so simple but it’s like—

CC: Nice. I wanna have a podcast. I would actually love to make a podcast.

SM: Okay, me too! I actually think that would be amazing.

CC: I actually love podcasts. I never thought that I’d want to do that before.

SM: What would you talk about?

CC: Literally, I would interview people like this and just ask them completely unrelated stuff.

SM: Why don’t we do nothing that has to do with music.

CC: Or like the questions that nobody really asks. Like, “What’s like your biggest fear? What makes you cry?” The human part that you never see.

SM: “The Human,” you should call it.

CC: “The Human Experience.”

SM: Yeah, something like that.

CC: Isn’t that John Bellion’s album title?

SM: That’s his title but you should—

CC: I honestly love that, cause I actually really… like the more I grow up, I’m like you always see just the surface of what everybody’s going through. And it actually makes you feel so much more connected.

SM: What’s your biggest fear?

CC: Mine?

SM: Yeah.

CC: I think my biggest fear a lot of the time is making mistakes. I have to work on that about myself. I feel like I always am afraid to make the wrong decision. And then I’m just paralyzed. So, I feel like I have to trust more, in whatever.

SM: We have to trust in like, even if it’s the wrong decision, it’s the right one because that taught you to not do it again, which is the right thing—which is the only way it was gonna go.

(Source: https://vmagazine.com/article/v-magazine-presents-shawn-mendes-and-camila-cabello/)

[shysneeze]

Facing Worries Together (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

FACING WORRIES TOGETHER

I shouldn’t be allowed to make titles oops

Request : Hi can I request a draco x reader where the reader is Nevilles twin sister and when she finds out that bellatrix is his aunt she gets scared that Bella is gonna come after her but draco does everything to make her feel better  - @rochelle-the-ravenclaw

Warnings: Angsty I guess, I can’t write for shit this is so bad I’m sorry.

I knew people were going to find it weird, me dating Draco Malfoy of all people. Other people couldn't see beyond his surname, no one else had tried it would seem. It had originally taken me a while to see it too, to see his sweet side, the soft side he covers with his cold façade and his teasing.

It had actually taken me getting incredibly worked up about his teasing of my brother, Neville, and storm after him as he left potions to chip away at part of his wall. I'd finally caught up to him entering the owlery and from behind him I asked why he was doing it, all the teasing and bullying. He didn't have an answer and he'd looked like he was about to break down, so I'd let out a sigh and dragged him up the steps before sitting him down and just listening to him talk.

After that we talked more and more, growing closer much to everyone else's dismay, especially Neville's, though he trusted me enough to make my own decisions. It was just before getting on the train at the end of fourth year that we got together, when, saying goodbye to him, I worked up all my courage and pressed my lips to his, pulling back before he could process it and, embarrassed, I'd ran away before he could stop me. Neville kept asking if I was okay all the way to the station but I'd kept silent until, the next day, a large, expensive looking owl swooped in at breakfast with a letter addressed to me, from Draco Malfoy.

By the beginning of fifth year we were together and people were very confused. By now though, I thought people would be over it, but apparently not , although today I found out why.

"Is it not a little odd, with his auntie being well, you know..." Lavender hints before trailing off with a small blush hinting at her cheeks.

"Hmm?" I hum, flipping the page of my book.

"I thought you might find it a little difficult to be with him given Bellatrix Lestrange is his auntie is all." She admits and for a second I don't think I've heard her correctly.  

I look up from my book with a frown and stare at her.

"What?"

Lavender's eyes widen in shock, her cheeks washing completely red now and her mouth hangs open as if she's not a clue what to say.

"Y-you didn't know?" She stutters.

I shake my head violently, feeling my heart racing in my chest.

Draco doesn't like to talk about his family past his mother and father, he likes to tell me about his mum's failed attempts at baking cookies the muggle way, or, late at night during our many meetings at the astronomy tower, how his father intimidates him, how much he hates the mark on his father's wrist and how much he wishes his family was normal. He's never once told me that his aunt happens to be Bellatrix Lestrange, the women who tortured and drove my parents mad.

"Oh my goodness, (Y/N), I'm so sorry." Lavender rambles. "I thought you know or I never would have said anything."

It's an odd feeling that washes over me, like suddenly everything is out of place and nothing seems normal for a minute. There is also that bit of anxiety that makes me feel queasy as I push myself from my seat.

"I need to uh, go." I explain to Lavender whose face is riddled with guilt. "I'll see you later."

"(Y/N)..." She starts but I've already grabbed my book and started to walk to the door.

I already feel guilty about missing mine and Draco's study date as I enter the common room. I was supposed to just have dinner and go to the library with Draco, but Lavender's revelation has left me with an anxious feeling that won't leave and I know there is someone else I need to speak to.

After climbing the stairs to the Gryffindor boy's dorm, I'm disappointed to find it empty, though ridiculously messy, beds unmade and articles of clothing strewn across the room. If I was less anxiety ridden, I'd roll my eyes, but with the heavy threat of tears I just climb straight into Neville's bed, the only one that seems to have had someone attempt to make it, and curl into a little ball.

The fear the pit of my stomach isn't completely unnecessary, I trust Draco, he's not like his family, but that doesn't mean his family will stop just because he's dating me, it means they'll have easier access to me, and to Neville.

"Uh, (Y/N)?"

I sit up quickly to see Harry and Ron, stood in the door way, frowning in concern at seeing me in my brothers bed, very clearly not dying of happiness here.

"Are you okay?"

"C-can you get Neville if he's around, please?" I say, my voice cracking slightly and Ron nods with wide eyes, grabbing Harry's arm to pull him down the stairs but Harry doesn't budge.

"Is it Draco, did he hurt you?" Harry asks and I almost smile at him.

It's no secret to me that the Gryffindor boys can be protective of me, they all just about threw a fit when Draco and I went official and though I can tell Harry's question is partly fuelled by his rivalry and growing obsession with Draco, I can still hear the genuine concern in his voice.

"No, it's not him." I say with a sniffle. "Not really,"

It's not really a lie, it's not Draco directly, just his notorious death eater of an aunt.

"Okay..." He says unconvinced. "We'll go get Neville."

"Thank you." I say as they disappear back down the stairs.

It's not long before I hear footsteps approaching again, though this time only one set and it's followed by the door swinging open to reveal Neville, eyes wide at seeing me in such a state.

"(Y/N)..." He breathes, coming forward and pulling me into his arms. "Harry and Ron said you were upset, what's wrong."

" I-I-" I start and the tears finally fall and he pulls back looking down at me.

"If it's Malfoy I swear I'll..."

I let out a shocked laugh at this, I can't help it.

"You'll what, Nev?" I ask and his cheeks redden despite his angry look. "Hit him? You know that's not in your nature."

"I'll put stinksap in his robes and the smell linger for weeks." He says angrily.

"How daring." I tease though my smile is soon replaced by another bout of tears. "It's not him."

"What happened." He asks softly, sitting back on his bed and I push myself back to sit with him.

" Bellatrix is his aunt." I mumble and I feel him tense beside me.

We sit in silence for a moment before he sighs.

"I know."

I sit up, wiping my tears on my sleeve and stare at him in shock.

"You didn't think to tell me." I ask, not hiding my irritation.

"I assumed you knew too." He defends. "Plus, I may not like him but he was making you happy."

"His aunt ruined our parents, Nev." I frown. "That's some important information."

"Well I'm sorry." He says defensively. "But what would it change if you knew?"

" A lot!"

He looks at me with a mixture of concern and confusion.

"You can forgive him for his actions through the four years you've known him and can look past his parents actions, why does Bellatrix make a difference.

Is he being serious right now, because I might hit him if he is.

"You are kidding right?" I ask. "She tortured our parents, drove them mad."

"I know that." He sighs in a pitiful attempt in defending himself.

"If I'm with Draco, she can come after us easier." I say, my voice lowering to a pathetic whisper. "I can't let that happen, I won't put you in danger like that."

He looks even more concerned now and he puts an arm around my shoulder.

"Don't worry about me, (Y/N)." He says. "Just do what makes you happy."

"Knowing you're not in danger will make me happy." I say and Neville looks unconvinced.

"It's your choice." He says. "Are you going to break up with him?"

My heart drops completely and more tears spill.

"Y-yes." I say before pressing my face into his side to hide my tears from him, knowing he has already seen them and would know anyway, on twins instinct.

"Dean heard you were sad and said you could pinch from his chocolate stash." Neville says. "You specifically, I'm not allowed any."

"Has he got chocolate frogs?" I ask pathetically through tears, it's muffled but I can feel Neville chuckle and gently get up, returning moments later with a hand full of chocolate frogs.

I know it's selfish and it's not making the situation any easier, but I've not managed to break up with Draco yet. I can't bring myself to do it and so it's become a week and a half of just avoiding him as best as possible and making terrible excuses when he asks me to go somewhere with him or talk to him. I don't want to break up with him, that's the truth of it. Over the last five months we've been together I've been so happy. The thought to breaking up with him hurts so I've avoided it.

It stops though, when Neville forces me to talk to him, fed up of finding me crying or stressing out in his dorm room. He told me to meet him in the potions classroom, which I do, although now that I'm here I see it's not just him I'm meeting. Beside him stands Draco, grey eyes wide when he sees me.

"(Y/N)..."He breathes and I can't help but look to Neville, feeling completely betrayed.

"Nev?"I squeak pathetically.

"I'm sorry (Y/N), but I'm beginning to work up a chocolate debt with Dean."He says. "Me specifically, not you- and you need to talk to him anyway."

Before I can even open my mouth to protest, Neville is fleeing from the room as Draco nods his head in a quick thanks as the door slams behind my brother.

"I uh."I begin but find myself completely lost for anything to say to Draco, being in the same room as his is making me realise how much I've missed him over the last week.

"Care to explain why you've been ignoring me all week?" He starts, I can see annoyance in his eyes and feel a surge of guilt hit me.

"I'm sorry."I say, though it comes out a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

His stormy eyes soften and he comes forward to take my hand in his own. He looks to me in concern now and I feel like I might burst into tears.

"We need to break up." I say, my voice wavering, tears edging closer to falling when he drops my hand in shock.

"What?" He asks, his voice sharp, his frown deepening.

"I think we need to break up." I repeat, holding my voice slightly more steady than last time but the guilt doesn't leave me. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" He asks, anger clear in the way he says it.

I try to think of a lie but with such little time I decide the truth is my only option.

"Lavender told me that Bellatrix Lestrange is your aunt." I admit and he tenses.

"You didn't know." He sighs, as if just realising it.

"No, I didn't." I explain.

His grey eyes meet mine as he runs a hand through his platinum hair in frustration, the angry look hasn't left his face yet.

"So you're just breaking up with me for it? You know I'm not like that."

"I know you're not, Merlin." I breathe out. "You're not anything like that I know."

"Then why?" He snaps.

"Draco, if I'm with you it gives her an easy route to Neville and I, I won't be the reason he gets hurt."

Suddenly he is looking angrier than before and I see him grit his teeth together.

"You didn't consider that I wouldn't let that happen?" He asks.

That takes me by surprise for a second because honestly, I would never expect that from him, to go against his family more than he already is by dating me and the revelation leaves me feeling kind of dazed and with even more respect for him than I already hold.

"I wouldn't like to put you in that situation either."

"Merlin's sake, (Y/N)." He lets out an exasperated breath. "I would never let anyone, not even my aunt, hurt you- or your brother, because even if we don't get on , he means so much to you."

My mouth drops open slightly and I gape at him, his words making my heart swell and I'm sure I'm holding myself back from just kissing him now.

"I will never let anyone hurt you (Y/N)." He says, softer now that he's calming down a little. "My family could never change that, because I love you so much, even the last week without you was unbearable."

I don't hold back this time, I launch myself forward and connect my lips to his, flinging my arms around his neck as he tries to stay upright after my surprise attack, then he's kissing back, hands running down my side and pulling me closer. We only pull apart for air and when his eyes reopen they're full of shock.

"I love you too." I smile, holding back tears. "I'm so sorry for ignoring you but I just panicked and I-"

"I get it, I understand, it would be a difficult thing to approach in your position." He exhales before pressing his lips to mine again, as if the experience had been so new for him that he had to do it again. "I'm sorry I never told you before, I assumed you knew, I'm sorry."

"I just don't want to get Neville hurt, or put you in a position where you'd go against your family more than you already are."

"Don't worry about me, (Y/N)." He says, pushing a strand of hair from my face and smiling.

"I'm sorry for being so selfish too, I ignored you all week because I couldn't bring myself to break up with you."I confess and he shakes his head.

"Don't worry about that." He soothes. "You need to stop worrying yourself over things you don't need to deal with alone, I'm your boyfriend, we are supposed to deal with these things together, okay?"

"Yeah." I nod, unable to rip my eyes from his and I resist the urge to lean in again.

"Next time, promise to come to me with things that worry you. I'll be here to listen, and to talk."

"I promise." I nod with a smile. "I love you."

I'm still giddy, on a high from his confession of love just minutes ago. I never believed he'd be the first to say it in our relationship, I always thought it would be me, and all of last week I believed I'd never get to say it aloud.

"I love you too." He grins, pressing his lips to mine again and I shut my eyes, allowing myself to melt into the kiss, feeling him grin against my lips as my fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He pulls back eventually and I can't figure out why until I hear the click of high heels and my heart drops.

"When your brother planned this..." Draco starts. "Do you think he planned for the situation in which Umbridge catches us?"

"Bless him, but probably not." I admit.

"Well, if we run quickly the Slytherin dorm is nearest."

"Sounds like a plan." I grin.

[agentbarton12]

Old People Teenager Watchers

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

~

the sleepover - 4

Tony was happy to say that MJ was back to spending her Wednesday afternoons with her dudes. Apparently, somewhere down the line, Gwen joined their group and now MJ and Gwen were friends. Really, Tony felt like MJ was looking for excuses not to tell Peter how she felt.

Peter was no help either, going around to parties and whatnot, blatantly ignoring Tony whenever he brought it up.

Over the course of the last three years, it had become common knowledge that Peter would come over every weekend and work with Tony in the lab. He’d never admit it out loud, but the billionaire secretly enjoyed it when the kid came over. Unfortunately, over the past few months, Peter has become extremely busy and was often late for the weekly meetings — sometimes not even showing up at all.

Tony understood when Peter couldn’t come over, but it never stopped him from feeling hurt. He never held it against him, and that was because he always had a good excuse. He’d call in beforehand that he couldn’t make it and Tony got it.

The billionaire only ever got mad at him once.

Because one time, Peter never called.

He didn’t answer his phone.

It was early Saturday morning and Tony had no idea where the kid was and neither did May. He was pacing back and forth in his lab trying to figure out if he was in danger and of course his anxiety riddled brain came up with the worst case scenarios and it did nothing to help his rising panic.

Then, by the grace of God, he remembered the tracker he put in Peter’s suit and found out where he was. And when he did, he flew straight over to that dumb house party Peter ditched him for and dragged him back to the compound. The press was gonna love this.

Of course Tony was glad that Peter was finally enjoying his teenage life, but he wished he did so responsibly.

He made sure to say as much to Peter as soon as they landed.

Obviously, being the moody teenager he is, he just walked up the stairs to his room while Tony scolded him. Once reaching his destination, he turned around to address his mentor. “I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve called, but my phone died, and I swear to you that was what I was going to do before it switched off. Ned had already left and I wasn’t going to ask someone else for their phone because you hate people you don’t know calling you. I’m sorry I made you and May worry, I really am.”

Well, hell. How was he supposed to be angry at that. Like, he couldn’t. Peter was responsible enough to stay away from alcohol and drugs, he didn’t have sex and he was in one piece. There was nothing Tony could rib him for on that part, but the fact that he saw how late it was and he stayed, made Tony a teeny bit upset. Jealous, maybe.

“Well, why didn’t you come here when you realised the time?”

Peter had the decency to blush (involuntarily, but still) but kept his hard expression. “I was gonna take Gwen somewhere. Like, a date, kind of. We sorta had a moment at the party.”

Tony was not expecting that. Really, he wasn’t. If anything, that answer made him even more upset. His frown deepened but he allowed him to go to bed. It was way too early for anyone to be up on a Saturday.

Before Peter put his hand on his door handle, the door swung open to reveal a freshly wakened MJ. She looked exhausted. She was wearing a large hoodie that fell over her small frame like a blanket — Tony had a feeling it was Bucky's — and a pair of sweatpants she must’ve stolen from Steve, seeing as he’s one of the only other people who’s legs are long enough for her. She had bags under her eyes and she was wearing a frown deeper than Tony's.

Peter looked as shocked as Tony did, because — seriously, how does she keep getting in here? — none of them had any idea she was in there.

“Uh…MJ, hey. What are you doing in there?” Peter asked, shifting on his feet.

“Lord of the Rings,” was all she said before brushing past him and walking away. Behind her, Scott walked out and shot Peter a heavy and disappointed look.

As if something was set off inside him, Peter shot his hand out and grabbed MJ's wrist, pulling her back. Tony moved to stand off to the side. “Jesus, MJ, I am so sorry. We were supposed to watch the movies tonight and — ”

“ — Last night. We were supposed to watch them last night. Seems you forgot the days as well as our plans, huh?”

Peter sputtered. “No, no. I didn’t forget, the party — I told you about it — it was crazy. Ended later than I expected it to. I would’ve called but my phone died.”

MJ rolled her eyes. “Ned got back six hours ago, and he already told me how lame it was. Honestly, if you had just said you forgot, I probably would’ve brushed it off, but now you’re lying to me.”

“I’m-I'm not.”

“It’s fine. I don’t care. Watched them with Scott, so it doesn’t matter.”

“No. Yes, it does. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Tony saw a flicker of hope flash through MJ's eyes at Peter’s words. “Maybe not tomorrow though — today, I mean — Abe and I are working on a project. After I help Tony in the lab.”

MJ sighed sadly. “You mean Gwen.”

“What?”

“You’re doing a project with Gwen, not Abe. You’re doing every project with Gwen.”

Peter looked confused. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No.”

“Then why do you make it sound like it is. I mean, Gwen's my friend. I’m allowed to do projects with my friends.”

MJ's expression darkened and Tony shifted uncomfortably. He glanced at Scott who was watching Peter closely with a murderous expression that Tony had only ever seen him wear when protecting Cassie. Tony assumed that MJ would be Cassie in this scenario.

“Then do them with your friends! But, remember that Ned’s your friend too. I’m your friend too. And maybe I’d like to do a project with you.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but Gwen likes me, okay, and I’d like to spend time with the girl who likes me,” Peter said through gritted teeth.

“God, Peter, I like you!” MJ was very near on the verge of tears and Tony heard the slight hitch in her voice.

Peter, blindsided by exhaustion and stress, snapped without fully understanding MJ's confession. “Well, at least Gwen had the balls to tell me first!”

The silence that followed was deafening. MJ's breathing quickened and Tony clenched his fist.

MJ took a breath, trying to steady her breathing. “Well, then I guess it doesn’t matter if I tell you I love you, huh? Because it’s first-come-first-serve with you, isn’t it?”

Peter gaped at her and Tony audibly gasped. “MJ…”

She got out of his grip and pushed herself away. “Here,” she shoved her phone against his chest, “call Gwen. Ask her out. Propose to her — I don’t care.”

“MJ…” Peter started.

“Leave me alone.” And she walked away with Scott's arms around her shoulders, leading her to Wanda's room where she slept for the rest of the day. Tony desperately wanted to hug her, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He had to deal with something else first.

He turned to Peter who's colour had drained from his face. Before he could open his mouth, Tony stopped him. “Sleep first. Then we talk. Then you fix this.”

Peter nodded numbly before turning away and going to his room.

Tony sighed heavily.

No one told him teenagers were so much work.

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Im begging you, please write more about Alora. She is what we need right now. Maybe when Lotor first found out she was going to become a racer like them?

Parental Worries - A future-AR-universe one-shot

36-year-old Lotor Dalir leaned his elbows against the workshopcounter in a sigh. “Oh, love,” he moaned. “Not this. Not yet.” He hid hishandsome face in his hands, his frazzled fingers tangling into his hair pulledback into a bun.

On the other side of the counter stood Allura. She leanedagainst the counter as well, wiping engine oil from her hands. “You knew thiswas coming,” she deadpanned.

His velvet voice twisted with worry, muffled by his hands. “Butso soon? She is only five.”

“You know how these things are,” Allura said, voice raisingin a helplessness. She roughly wiped her fingers, white brows knittingtogether. “She’s been sneaking into this workshop and hacking our passcodes. Icaught her pretending to drive Black Lion three times this week. And if thatwere not enough, she’s heard about how the association lowered the minimum agefor the Junior Dragsters circuit. And I checked. That new age is, in fact, fiveyears old.”

A silence fell between them.

Lotor pulled his hands away from his face, revealing stresslines that had begun to etch themselves at the corner of his eyes. His voicestrained with an airy complaint. “I am not…ready for this.”

Allura giggled in a sad way. “I’m not sure we’ll ever be.Might as well rip off the band-aid now, don’t you think?”

“No, we cannot allow our daughter to race this early.” He bithis lip with increasing passion. “Or race at all. It is far too dangerous, andshe is so precious.”

The woman huffed at him. “Do you not think it hypocritical ifwe impose such on her?” Her eyes searched his. “You know what we risk everytime we race. Even with all the safety equipment in the world.”

He pursed his lips at her, narrowing his eyes. He saidnothing again for a time as he hunched over the counter, his broad shoulders tightwith stress. “Ngh,” he whined. “Darling, we are experienced. We are very good at what we do. There is a differencebetween us and our little girl, who is so tiny and innocent.” His throat tightenedup. “I cannot imagine her crashing. I do not think my heart would hold out,love. It just wouldn’t.”

The earnest fear in Lotor’s eyes inspired Allura to reachout to him. She ran her calloused, lithe fingers down his worn face.

The man closed his eyes and nuzzled into her touch, pressinghis lips against her offered palm. The risks of their profession were neverlost upon them.

Her voice softened. “We can’t protect her from everythingthat can go wrong in this world. But we canprepare her.” Allura swallowed hard and then weakly smiled, attemptingbravery. “That’s all we can do, I’m afraid. She has your rebellious streak.”

Lotor’s eyes opened to focus upon her. “And your sense ofambition,” he murmured with a sad fondness. “Oh love, why couldn’t we have hada child who enjoyed something harmless, like accounting.”

“…Accounting?” she repeated incredulously, slipping her handaway from his face. “Do you honestly think that would keep her attention?”

He raised a finger in determined thought. “No, but perhapsthere is some profession yet that might catch her eye.”

“…Or we could admit inevitable defeat, and focus on trainingher and getting her into racing classes,” Allura deadpanned. “Maybe acompromise, in which we don’t allow her to compete officially until she’sproven competent in various areas.”  

Lotor was hardly listening. “Perhaps,” he said suddenly, “shewould enjoy becoming a librarian.”

“…Lotor.”

The man then whined again. “No, that job would not work becausethen she could get papercuts or have shelves fall on top of her. Allura,darling, I think I just want to put Alora into a bubble.” He then pulled awayand patted his pockets, pulling out a lighter and a cigarette. The stress on hisface had tightened enough that his fingers trembled as he light the cigarette,dragging on it hard.

Allura face-faulted and attempted to grab the cigarette fromhis fingers. “You said you were quitting.”

He gracefully avoided her swipe. “I will quit tomorrow,” hedeclared, still in a daze. “At the moment, my nerves need a reminder that theyare still, in fact, inside my body and not a supernova.” He breathed out smokein relief of the nicotine, rubbing his temples. “Oh, Allura. Hold me, love. AndI shall hold you. This parenting business is quite anxiety-inducing, and I feelmyself fighting the need to go wake up Alora right now and cuddle her.”  

She crossed her arms.  “And then she would ask you about racing.Also, she says you braid her hair better than I do, and I’ve no doubt you’d endup in another braid train until at least three in the morning.”

Lotor moaned again. He breathed in hard on his cigarette andthen snuffed the end of it into the metal of the counter, attempting to limit hisreliance on it. “Oh, I know the question is inevitable. I’ve no doubt I cannotkeep her from racing, given her spirit.” A glimmer of humor etched in his tired,worried eyes. “And I do in fact braidher hair better than you can.”

Allura scoffed. “Not true.”

“You pull her hair back and then forget to brush out all thelittle hair bumps,” he complained lightly. “As a perfectionist, I find it cutebut distressing.”

The woman pouted playfully, giving him a dirty look. “My hairbraiding skills are much less concerning than your attempts to smother ourchild with your helicoptering.”

Lotor’s brows flew up. “Myhelicoptering?” His voice had roughened a bit from the cigarette, but he placeda hand over his heart in an airy fashion. “Love. We’ve made this most precious childbetween us. How are you not terrified every time she steps outside and fallsdown, much less the possibility of her crashing into a wall?”

Allura’s face tightened. “I am terrified of it.”

“Everyone talks about how much they love their children,” hecomplained. “No one ever talks about the fear that comes with it.”

She set down the grease-riddled towel and sighed. “I know, Iknow.” And then she made a groaning sound not unlike a standard Lotor Dalir whine.“But we cannot keep her from living,dear.”

In that moment, it looked as though Lotor had aged. “Objectively,I agree with you.”

“And these junior dragsters for that age circuit, they gomuch slower. They’re more like a car than anything.”

His face tightened. “They still can go up to 50 miles per hour.”

Allura gave him a look.

Lotor sighed, raising his hands in defeat to pull out hisbun. His thick, white locks fell down his sharp cheeks, and he squeezed hiseyes shut in pain. “…I will be an absolute disaster any time she races,” hedeclared. “My hair will fall out, and I’ll get even more wrinkles from the stressof it. But do not think for a second I wouldn’t be her biggest fan.”

Her gaze softened. She reached out and pulled his hair tiefrom his hands to intertwine her fingers with his. “I’m afraid you’ll have tofight me for that position.”

His long fingers tightened upon her own. “Will I now?”

“Absolutely.”

Lotor leaned forward, setting his forehead against hers, theslope of his nose slipping against her own. “I can think of a few ways to fightyou for it.”

Her full lips twitched up. “Does it involve a bed, Mr.Dalir?”

His pained voice lightened in a sultry merriment. “It could involve this counter right here.”

“Hmm. But what if Alora sneaks in.”

“…You’re right. Bed and locked door it is.”