#everyone is here btw... on the way back from heaven's edge

[elavoria]

WIP Whenever

Tagged by @sylvienerevarine and @nostalgic-breton-girl, thank you! <3 I tag @sheirukitriesfandom, @dirty-bosmer, @boethiahspillowbook, and whoever else wants to join.

Just Inquisitor Things™, because I decided the one rank of trickery Isanna will have represents the ability to originate/duplicate keys:

“So, Chief, I’ve been thinkin’,” Woljif said, tail twitching nervously. “If you’re so good at making keys, what’s to stop you from going through our rooms whenever you like?” Isanna looked up at him and held his gaze, serene and serious, with the slightest of smiles on her lips. “What makes you think I haven’t?” she asked. His eyes went wide with fear, and although his mouth opened and closed several times, no sound came out. Her own eyes shifted over the rest of her companions, and only after she savored their variously horrified expressions—even Regill was frowning; Ember was merely confused, but Arueshalae alone seemed entirely unperturbed—did she burst into laughter. “I’m only joking,” she said when she caught her breath, “but—the looks on your faces!” She fell to giggling again as they began to protest, then held up her hands to quiet them and added, “I respect your privacy, I assure you. But I would be well within my right to inspect your rooms”—she pointedly looked back at Woljif—“so you’d best not give me any reason to want to, yes?”

[sitkowski]

but only for you ( jolly karlsson x nick folio )

pairing: jolly karlsson x nick folio cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ the boys are fighting, mentions of flirting with other people, a little bit of angst, makeup sex. word count: 1.6k author's notes: more riptide boys. they're my babies and i adore them. the picture mentioned in the fic is this one! this is set between sunshine riptide and heaven's gate, btw! title comes from "last of the real ones" by fall out boy, divider by @sweetmelodygraphics 🩷

⇉ masterpost || taglist signups || riptide verse masterpost

The slam of the front door is inexplicably loud when Jolly storms out, and Nick jumps at the sound. He’s left standing in the middle of their living room, staring at the space where he’d just been standing. He can’t blink back the swell of frustrated tears, meant more for himself than for Jolly, who left without a word after Nick couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut.

“You could have acted like we were in a relationship tonight, not just when I let you fuck me.” Why had he said something so stupid and so untrue? Jolly had looked rightfully hurt the second those words came out of Nick’s mouth, eyes going wide and glassy before he turned and left.

It had started at a party. Jolly hadn’t really wanted to go, but Nick had insisted. Because Matt’s new girlfriend was throwing it, and he thought they should be there. So they go, and then Nick does the stupid thing and abandons him to talk to a bunch of different people. By the time he actually finds Jolly again, he’s talking with Zephyr’s best friend. Did Nick get jealous? Of course he did. Did he think anything was going to come from it, the way he saw his boyfriend smiling at her? He didn’t, not even when she wrote her phone number on Jolly’s hand like they were in high school or something. Because he knows Jolly.

But when Nick came over to them, he just introduced him as Folio, not his boyfriend, just his last name. For some reason, it got under Nick’s skin even though that was what he normally went by. Everyone called him that. Jolly didn’t, not as much as he used to. Hearing him say it and having to be polite and smile and shake this girl’s hand, it bugged him. So much that he went and sulked, ignoring Jolly for the rest of the night until it was time for them to leave. And then he ignored him on the drive home, insisting nothing was bothering him, even when it was.

Jolly was Jolly, he pushed until Nick gave in and let it all out. The girl’s number on his hand, him showing her something in his wallet, the two of them flirting with each other all night. Him introducing Nick as Folio. It bugged him. He was jealous. And once he started talking, he couldn’t stop and soon they were yelling at each other. Jolly wasn’t responsible for Nick’s insecurities, he didn’t even want to go to the party but Nick made him. Nick fired back with the comment that left him in the position he’s in now, trying to figure out why he couldn’t just talk to him about it when it was bothering him, instead of letting it bottle up on the drive home.

He sees Jolly’s wallet laying on the counter where he tossed it when they came in, and his curiosity gets the best of him. He wants to see what he’d been showing the girl at the party. When he opens it, a folded picture falls out. Nick opens it up and stares back at a picture of himself from at least three or four years earlier. Before the two of them even got together. The edges of the picture are a little faded, from Jolly handling it. He’s got a picture of Nick in his wallet, and all Nick wants to do is cry.

Tucking the picture back into the wallet gently, he takes it with him to go outside. Jolly is sitting on the front step, rubbing his fingers back and forth over his hand. The phone number that had been there is all but faded now. Nick holds out the wallet to him, and Jolly looks up.

“It was a joke, you know?” he says as he takes his wallet. “When I showed her the picture of you in here, she teased me for being old school and she wrote her number on me. Actually, she wrote a fake number, from some song from the eighties. Which I could have told you instead of saying all that shit in there.”

Nick sits down beside him. Reaching over he takes Jolly’s hand, turning it over and seeing the faded three, zero and nine. “I’m sorry I dragged you to the party, this probably wouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have acted like I did.”

“You thought I was gonna leave you for that girl? She’s Z’s friend, but…you know I love you more than anything, don’t you Nicky?”

Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, Nick nods rapidly. “I do. And I love you too. So much.”

“I introduced you to her as Folio because she’d already met Ruff and wanted to know what to call you when she met you, she didn’t want to be confused.”

“I didn’t mean what I said, Jolly. You don’t just treat me like your boyfriend when you want to, you know? We were friends first, for a long time—”

Jolly laces their fingers together. “You looked in my wallet, didn’t you, pretty?”

“Maybe I was expecting something else, but not that.”

“You and I, we were…oundviklig…inevitable,” he squeezes Nick’s fingers. “If I ever treat you as anything less than what you are to me, you need to tell me, okay? Because yeah we were friends first, but you’re mine now. And that’s something else entirely.”

Nick doesn’t even think about it, he moves over and crawls into Jolly’s lap right there on the front steps. He wraps himself around him, presses his forehead against his. If he got any closer to him out here, they’d probably get the cops called on them if their neighbors were nosy enough. Jolly lets out an amused sound, grasping Nick’s waist and nuzzling his nose against his cheek.

“You can’t do that,” Nick says, shaking his head. “You can’t bring out the Swedish and say shit like that to me. It’s not fair.”

Jolly shrugs his shoulders. “Never said I was gonna be fair. Do you wanna hear more because I—”

“Take me inside, right now.”

He starts to get up, but Jolly doesn’t give him the chance. He tightens his arms around Nick and stands, and Nick lets out a startled sound, grabbing onto him tighter. Somehow, they manage to get into the house without running into anything or without Jolly dropping him. They’re both laughing, and they make it to the bedroom doorway before Jolly’s got to put him back on his feet. Fisting a hand in the front of Jolly’s shirt, he pulls him backward. Past their bed and towards the bathroom.

Jolly steps around him, opening the stall door and turning on the water. Nick waits, letting him lead. When he turns back towards Nick, he reaches out to unbutton his shirt, pushing it off of Nick's shoulders and dragging kisses along the bare skin beneath as Nick takes it off the rest of the way and tosses it aside. His hands slide down to undo Nick's jeans. Jolly's fingers tease beneath his waistband, and Nick reaches up to push his hair behind his ears, pulling his mouth down to kiss him softly.

They don’t rush. Once Jolly is done stripping Nick out of his clothes, he takes off his own clothes and leads him into the stall beneath the spray. The water’s just this side of too hot, but Nick lets it sink into his skin. He’s surprised by how relaxed he suddenly feels, all of the tension from the night leaving him in a rush. He wraps his arms around Jolly, pressing soft kisses to the middle of his chest.

“Here, let me,” he says, reaching past him for the shampoo.

Jolly indulges him, letting Nick wash his hair for him. He also returns the favor, and Nick practically melts beneath his touch as he scrubs at his scalp and then turns him so that he can rinse the shampoo away. They take turns moving around beneath the water to wash up before they finally stumble out of the stall, drying off haphazardly as they make their way into the bedroom.

Nick tumbles them to the bed, and immediately Jolly grabs onto his hips and rolls them, pinning him between his body and the mattress. He presses his chest into Nick’s back, mouthing at the water droplets still lingering on his shoulder while Nick manages to get a hand into the nightstand for the lube. His moans are muffled into the sheets as Jolly preps him so slowly it might be considered torture. He’s murmuring praise in Nick’s ear, in English and in Swedish, and Nick is seconds away from begging him when Jolly finally sinks into him.

One of Jolly’s hands tangles with his, the other pinning Nick down to the bed by the nape of his neck as if Nick’s going anywhere. As if there’s anywhere else he’d rather be. He pushes, leaving Nick breathless with the steady, hard rhythm he sets. It’s almost instinct to struggle in Jolly’s grasp, not to get away but to get him closer, to get a hand down between himself and the bed to wrap his fingers around himself, trying to keep up with Jolly’s thrusts.

“Jag är din för alltid,” he whispers in Nick’s ear. “Och du är min för alltid.”

Nick’s been around him enough to know some words. He picks up on mine and forever, and he sobs out an agreement, turning head to sink his teeth into his own arm as he comes. He clenches down around Jolly, ensuring that he’s not that far behind him. It’s messy and rushed and absolutely perfect.

“We just showered,” Jolly mumbles into the damp skin of Nick’s shoulder after, not even bothering to keep his weight off of him. “First one who can move has to get a towel.”

Nick squirms around until he can roll over, wrapping himself around Jolly and kissing him soft and slow. “Later. Stay here with me for now.”

“Oh, pretty,” Jolly pets his hair back off his forehead. “I’ll stay here forever.”

swedish translations (thanks google) oundviklig = inevitable jag är din för alltid = i'm yours forever och du är min för alltid = and you are mine forever

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[bunnypeew]

Angel with a shotgun - Lucifer x Fem!reader

okay okay,, so I was listening to my nightcore shit and of course, the best song ever came to me, SO I HAD AN IDEA TO WRITE A ONE SHOT WITH LUCI CUZ HES AN ANGEL :3 This is a one-shot set in the finale of hazbin btw where he comes to all of them cuz Y/n almost dies yippie,, this is gonna be really short and shitty (divider by ioveartfilm)

it finally arrived at the point where everyone had to fight the exorcists, she was scared but wielding her spear with the best force she could. Everyone was ready for what was about to happen except her, she was shaking and breathing heavily, terrified, and really on edge.

She was waiting for Lucifer to come there too even tho she knew he probably wouldn't since he had no idea what was happening.

''GET READY EVERYONE WE GOT THIS,,

Charlie shouted from the front of the row, and then the exorcists spilt from the heavens ready to kill every single demon that was in their way. So the fight began.

Everyone was going around with their weapons, killing all the angels they could, while Y/n was trying her best to fight too until she got cornered by a couple of them, spears pointing at her neck, she was shaking but managed to kill one or two of them and get them off of her, but it wasn't until one flew over her and speared her on the side.

before she dropped to the floor she killed the angel, red blood was spilling from the cut on her hip, she put her hands there pressing down to stop the bleeding while she crawled to a wall to rest on it, calming her breathing down she looked around to see where the others were, to look for help mostly but no one was looking at her, she was quite literally fucked.

She kept taking big deep breaths, pressing down on the wound and fixing her position to get more comfortable, still looking around, her vision fixated on an angel that saw her, she knew she was done for right at that moment, she was shivering again, tears spilling from her eyes slowly, the exorcist flew fast towards her making her shut her eyes, waiting for the impact.

That didn't happen tho, though what happened was a big golden light appeared in front of her making her squint, the light slowly disappeared to reveal Lucifer flying on top of her impaling the exorcist with its own spear, golden blood spelt on her face making her close her eyes for a second, she wasn't moving, her hands still pressing her side, she looked up again to see him looking down at her with a concerned look, he flew down, getting on his knees and looking frantically at her wound, seeing the blood spilling out and her hands tainted of it, he pressed down his hands on it, a faint golden light emanated from his hands and just like that her wound was cured.

She started shaking and crying jumping to hug him, arms around his neck, he put a hand on her back to keep her from falling backwards and one around her waist. He kissed the top of her hair softly, rubbing the crook of her back gently

''you are fine little duckling, I'm here for you,,

IM GONNA WRITE MORE I SWEAR I JUST NEED A PROMPT TO WRITE CUZ I DONT HAVE IDEAS OF MY OWNNN

[taeilskitty]

Hey there! I saw that you open for a request so here's what I thought : what kind of sound did nct make when having sex? Are they more into whimpers, groans, or maybe dirty talk? Thank you so much for answering my question and hope you have a good day!

i was BORN to answer this omg. lemme tell you, i have thought about this so SO much!! (i'm leaving chenji out of this bc i don't know how people feel about that yet)

anyways, i hope u enjoy and i hope this matches what you had in mind <3

taeil

oh fuck. taeil is most certainly a groaner. i think (and trust me, i've thought a lot) he must make these gorgeous low moans like right in the back of his throat if that makes sense - have you ever heard his bubble voice messages? oh my god, they're so fucking hot. his raspy voice in the middle of the night is just to die for. that makes me CONVINCED that he dirty talks super up close. even thinking about it makes me shiver :(( he's the king of praise, i just know it. i think he degrades too, but his favourite is when he mixes both together - "you look so pathetic there baby, how cute." "daddy loves his pretty slut so much." "god you're so fucking good for me, my cockslut~" taeil also asks things, i think that suits him so much. "yeah? you like that?" "is daddy's cock too big baby? shh, i'll be done soon..."

taeyong

whiner. whiner. undoubtedly. this boy has the sweetest, prettiest little moans... he gets all high pitched when he's close and oh god when he sinks into subspace he just mewls and his voice gets so weak </3 little "yes" and "a-ah thank you"s slip out because he such a good kitten. he's so precious... and if he gets asked to speak while he's getting fucked he just squeaks out an answer. "m.. love it... ah..." n he will never fail to say his please and thank yous - he's so well mannered even when hes getting used !!!

johnny

this is just. oh my. i think he's silent for the most part. heavy breathing and quiet grunts and groans until he's close. THAT'S when he starts moaning, all sorts of things slipping out. "god you're so good" "i love this hole so much" ahh??! i think he talks down too. fuck !!! daddy!johnny is so patronising, and not just outside of the bedroom. kinda like taeil, he asks things, but he makes u feel so dumb and cock drunk :( AH AND he like... coos when you feel all dazed from his cock... "awh~ is that good? you like that don't you sweetheart? yeah, i know."

yuta

i have this vision of yuta just SLAMMING from behind with his face right up in your ear, telling you all sorts of dirty things lowly with just the hottest voice ever. he's very vocal about what he wants, and he loves cumming inside... so expect him to talk about that. oh, he is so fucking possessive too. "hmm. mine. this is mine. you're mine." he probably bites your ear/neck when he says it... the grunts that come out when he slams are enough to send anyone reeling, but i bet he tells you "fuck. gonna. gonna cum in my fuckdoll--" n his voice just trails off as he fills you up and sighs<33

kun

now kun is !! an interesting one !! ... i envision him as a pretty hard dom, so i don't think he's any stranger to degrading. that being said, i think he's more talkative when he's giving punishments (e.g. spanking over his thigh... heaven<33) rather than when he's fucking. i think he moans lowly, semi-quietly but as he gets more and more pent up he gets louder. (i think this is the case for most of the nct doms but oh well) he'll praise how good you make him feel - assuming you've been behaved enough - but that doesn't stop him from cursing under his breath at every chance he gets ,,..

doyoung

definitely has pretty moans !! he probably does whine, but i mean that in a dom way - if that makes sense? higher pitched moans but not pathetic, in fact it's probably paired with him whispering "fuck yes, good [insert ur fave petname here]". i think he's the type to kiss you a lot during sex and like... moan into your mouth; any space not taken up by the sound of moans will for sure be filled with the sound of his panting and his tongue dancing with yours.

ten

another semi-whiner. i always saw him as a dom but i'm sliiightly succumbing to the idea that he may be a switch... which is why i think there's so much BEAUTY in his moans?? ten makes really pretty, breathy whines and moans i'm sure, i don't particularly think he talks a crazy amount but rather short instructions. (yes i'm going back to dom!ten) "turn around." "get on your knees" "quiet." AH !! he always lets you know what he needs - however, sub!ten will just whine and squirm till you make him cum because he is most definitely a slut who takes anything:(

jaehyun

first of all, this man wrecks me to the fucking core, and i could talk about this for... a while. but his moans are definitely like, raspy high-pitched type. think about his vocals. esp in try again... i bet you they sound like THAT. i'm sure he talks a bit too, tbh he probably says rather textbook dirty things but it sounds so fucking hot when it's him. "yeah take it, take my cock" "fuck yes just like that", he loves how you whine when he moans right up next to you btw - it just makes him do it even more. oh, and bonus - he will never call you ANYTHING without prefixing it with my or daddy's. daddy's girl, daddy's boy, daddy's pet, my dirty slut... ahh<3

winwin

it's almost contrasting to jaehyun but sicheng's voice is so low. i can't explain this in any way other than that he's kitty, but his moans are so... puppy? and when he's fucked, he makes himself sound so dumb too. he's constantly slurring his words and biting his lip because he's trying to keep quiet but anyone who walks by the room will hear "mm.. m!!" because he just can't help himself :( when he's close he probably squeaks like taeyong and cums all over the place GOD i want him

jungwoo

oh god there's no doubt that jungwoo talks SO much during sex. he probably loses his fucking mind with how good he feels. he's such a good boy but sometimes you just need him to shut up - but he can't. he squeaks out a little moan when you push into him, or when you start touching his cock, but withn minutes he's babbling non-stop; "oh god oh god mommy/daddy i love it so much, a-ah like that, please~"

lucas

my brain used to be convinced that xuxi was a dom, but i'm now sure he's a switch. either way, his moans are pretty much the same. they're very heavy and... i guess manly is the best way to put it. in my head i can literally picture him being like "ughhh..." when you start fucking because he just feels like he's wanted to fuck you so desperately - yes, even if you fucked hours before. it's always so breathy and moany and i think he sounds like a bit of a fuckboy tbh... "fuck yeah" as he slides his cock into you? THANKS

mark

loud baby loud baby LOUD BABY:((( no matter how much you cover that pretty mouth of his he will be so LOUD!! he can't stop talking and whining and panting, kinda like jungwoo but honestly... more. he swears a lot too. he tries not to but he just can't help himself :( "aw shit... god shit!!!" under his breath UGHHFDGGDFDD SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SCREAM !!! he's very polite though, so he always says sorry every single time :( he babbles like hell when he cums, he can't stop himself, again like jungwoo. "i'm gonna cum i'mgonnacumi- i'm -- ah fuck, shit--!!"

xiaojun

two words. action figure. everyone knew that was coming, HA - i'm sorry but THAT verse means we all know how he sounds. i think he tries his best to talk normally while you edge him but his little voice keeps on wavering and cracking and just... he can't help but sound all pretty and pathetic :( but surely dejun has some (very frequent) moments where he can't keep his front anymore and just whines like a whore because it feels so good<3

hendery

the things i'd let this man do to me:))) i think at first he'd actually try and hide his moans because he feels like that's what he's supposed to do, but no. for me personally, i know i would NOT LET THAT HAPPEN !! he probably sucks the air in through his teeth in an attempt to hide it - it's very fucking sexy when he does that, granted - but he can't keep doing that for long. i think he hums and laughs when he can't keep it in any longer because he almost feels some kinda defeat but then he just moans semi-loudly and lets out a "good girl/boy/baby... let me fuck you, huh?"

renjun

renjun scares the fuck out of me. why? because his moans are fairly quiet. he's master and it S H O W S. he grunts quietly, maybe muttering things under his breath like "so fucking tight" "mmh there you go..." to fill some silence but he does it subconsciously; he goes so far into domspace sometimes that he just can't control himself. when he's close he talks through his teeth and he's like "i'm. i'm gonna cum baby..."and the more you whine on his cock the more he just laughs at you because he's a sadist hhhhhhhhhhh.........

jeno

most definitely a fun one... you see when he's sub, he pants and whines and drools all over himself like a big dumb puppy boy and he just breathes so heavy n his moans are all shaky... if he's a brat he will try and talk big but he can't take it, he just gets so pathetic and !!! but dom jeno is fucking TERRIFYING because he talks down and tries his best to intimidate you. he chuckles and degrades you, but one of his faves is when he can big himself up under his breath. "look at you now. you love this fucking cock."

haechan

this isn't good for my mental health :) i fucking cannot TAKE this brat :) AHA! hyuckie is honestly such a whore, he's bratty and rude and always talks back at you like he's the king of the fucking world. he's constantly laughing at you and trying so hard to make you feel like you're not worthy but he feels so good he just gets fucked dumb by you :( he is SO loud too. he wants everyone to hear what a dirty whore he is and he makes sure he puts on his prettiest pornstar moans. he whines like his life depends on it. on the off chance that he's being a good boy, he begs and cries and whimpers when he finally cums - and i mean CRIES. sobs. he'll be heaving by the time you're done with him, but god he fucking loves it.

jaemin

fuck... fuck okay... well firstly he loves to talk. we all know how much he praises and how he's constantly showing his love off... that doesn't stop at fanservice, nope. he will fuck you like a ragdoll and keep calm and composed as ever, talking down to you as if you're in his lap for a soft cuddle. "baby loves nana so much hm~?" "oh you really love that don't you?" "you know you're so pretty. nana wants to cum in you so bad~" yes, he calls himself nana because he's a cocky fuck and loves how it sounds. especially when you're moaning it for him.

yangyang

i'm kinda in 2 minds about this... on the one hand, he's kinda like hyuckie in that he whines a LOT. but he can actually keep his composure - he's a breathy whiner, he's not quite as loud and he most certainy doesn't crumble as easily. (that's not to say that he can't, he most definitely can.) on the other hand i think when he's in a more neutral headspace rather than subby, he talks to you like a total fuckboy. not in a mean way but he's just like "hah. i know you love me fucking you like this." he gets so cocky and he sucks hickeys into your neck and hums quietly<3

shotaro

he's such a shy baby :( he wants to moan so much but he probably gets all self conscious and tries to hide it... so you gotta make him feel safe :( when he does he whimpers and it's so pretty and pathetic. the way he wells up with tears and hitches his breath is. adorable. he whispers "thank you... ah..." every time he feels that good and by the time he cums it's just falling from him like a waterfall :( the more comfortable he feels, though, the sluttier he can get... he will always be a good boy but i think he lets his whore side come out every once in a while <3

sungchan

last but most certainly not least, yet ANOTHER boy who pains me to the core. i think sungchan whimpers too. THERE I SAID IT. his cock is too big for his own good so he just... needs you to do SOMETHING to him :( he always sighs at first, maybe hissing just a little but then he gets to a point where he's quietly whimpering because he just needs to cum so fucking bad <//3 "need it... p-please..." he's always nervous to use titles but if he wants to cum he has no choice :( when his dom asks please who? he blushes bright red n mumbles a little "please mommy/daddy... 'm so good..." and god yes he is he deserves it so much ugh<33333333333333

[sortasirius]

“Unity” and the Broken Boys

BOY Y’ALL BETTER SIT DOWN BECAUSE THIS IS AS LONG AS CAN BE AND I TOOK OFF WORK TOMORROW SO I’VE GOT TIME

This is....one of the best episodes in the show.  Yeah, in all 325 of them, this is hands down one of the best.

First of all, stan Amara for clear skin.

That silent treatment babey, right out the gate with the Angst.  Tbh Dean deserves it.

“Like I said, killing Amara, Jack dying...that’s the only way.”

“The only way.  Our one shot.  Our Last chance.  You ever get tired of saying stuff like that?”

“We don’t have to like it, alright?  But you and me, we gotta get it done.”

Amara is such a welcome energy in this whole episode.  She’s warm and understanding, whip-smart and probably more powerful than Chuck.  I love her.

Sam is a wonderful, understanding, loving dad.  I love him eternally.  He loves Jack so much, he’s trying so desperately to do what’s right for Jack but also what’s right for the world.  Jack made this choice, but he can’t live with it.  How do you support your child when their life is at stake?

“Come on man.  Blindly following orders, lying to Amara, sending her to her death. Does any of this feel right to you??”

“It doesn’t matter how we feel!  You know what?  Stay.  Stay.  Someone has to be the grown up here.”

“Yeah well someone has to keep fighting for Jack!”

“He knows what he signed up for!”

“Last I checked, we don’t give up on family.”

“Jack’s not family.”

Y’all should have heard the noise I made.  What a fucking line.

“I know how you feel about the kid, I care for him too, I do, but he’s not like you.  He’s not like Cas.  He’s just not.”

“I’m- I’m ready.”

You can see the regret, the heartbreak in Dean’s eyes.  You can see how he wants to take those words back the moment he said them, and for Jack to hear them?  It’s unthinkable.

Sam and Cas I’m just so fucking emo dude.

“Sam, you stayed behind to find another way huh?  I woulda done the same.”

AMARA

First of all, LOVE this structure.

Amara and Chuck have such a fascinating dynamic.  Rob and Emily do a great job (as they have all along) by clearly being siblings but...heightened.  You can just tell they both exude power, and the other is the only one they consider an equal.

“You and Dean had that whole weird...thing.”

“That wasn’t you writing?”

“Ugh, not that part.  Gross.”

What I took away from this is what I’ve suspected all along.  They HAVE free will, just not total free will.  Dean and Amara’s connection wasn’t Chuck, there are parts of the story he didn’t write.  Obviously, this comes into play later. 

I also have a hunch that Chuck doesn’t write romance.  I also think that in particular will come into play.

“Balance.  Something we’ve never tried before.  Creation and destruction, light and dark, brother and sister united again, but on behalf of one world, this world.  True balance.  The way it was always meant to be.  But you can’t.  You only care about your pleasure, your story.  Well, I guess that makes you the villain.”

“Villains get all the best lines.”

We see again and again this season, Chuck is irredeemable.  He doesn’t care about the angels, he doesn’t care about the world, he doesn’t care about anything.  He is a petulant toddler who has broken his toys. And when he realizes he’s trapped, he gets angry, he shouts and screams, completely at odds with Amara’s peace.

“You can’t hold me here forever.”

“I can hold you long enough.”

DEAN

Pain is the name of the game in this section homies.  Because not only are we dealing with Dean’s pain, we’re also dealing with Jack’s.  Jack says he understands why Cas and Sam mean more to Dean, but Dean clearly doesn’t, he, once again, wants to say more, but is stopped, still stopped by his fear: his fear of not beating Chuck.

Alright guys, gals, and non-binary pals.  Let’s talk about Adam and Seraphina.

Adam.  The first man.  And Seraphina.  The angel.

“My old lady.  She’s the only one who could put up with me all these years.”

Yeah okay.  Volume at 100 I get it lmao.

But also: Adam wants God dead not because he and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, but because he went after their sons.  The theme of protecting the children strikes again.

“Killing God is your plan?”

“Yeah, Billie’s been giving us a hand but Sera and me, this is our baby.”

This juxtaposed directly with Dean’s own pain at what he has to do to kill Chuck, to gain his free will: the cost of his child.

Adam’s rib.

And who else might get his ribs hurt, only to be likely healed by an angel?

It’s fine, that’s fine.  I’m fine with that.

“Jack, I don’t know how to explain it but, when I found out about Chuck, it’s like I wasn’t alive.  Not really.  You know like my whole life I’ve never been free, but like really free.  But now?  Now me and Sam, we got a shot at living a life, without all this crap on our backs.  And that’s, that’s because of you.  So, I want to say, I need to say...thank you, Jack.  Thank you.”

I’m gonna have to do a separate post about just Dean in this episode, because there is so fucking much to talk about, but there are a couple of things that I think are important:  Dean realizes how wrong he was, to say what he said.  He knows that it’s not true, this is the way he’s always coped with loss, by pushing the person to be lost away, but for Jack to hear it?  He can’t stand for that.

And:

Dean has finally pushed through the barrier.  He won’t be quiet in the face of his doubts anymore.  This is a breakthrough for him, and, of course, there are more to come.

SAM

Sam and Cas, my chaos duo.

The box, the inscription, the door.

Death’s library, filled with dead reapers.

And there it is.  The Empty.

It tells Sam the plan, the plan for Billie to take God’s place.  For everything to go back to the way it’s “supposed to be.”

This has always been the game, since season 13.  This is the longest of long games.

Sam fuckin Winchester, lying his way out of a confrontation with the Empty like the legend that he is.

He comes back with a new purpose: to stop Billie’s plan, and here’s where we get to the heart of the episode and maybe the heart of the season.

“You hear that?  Dean, brought to the edge of doubt.  His sense of duty, his rage winning out in the end.  And poor Sam, always gotta know everything.  Can’t leave well enough alone.  This is my ending, my real ending.”

The gun comes out, pointed at Sam.

Hmm...what did I say during 15x05?  Oh yeah, this.

And:

Dean would never survive killing Sam, but he’s willing to do anything, anything to earn his freedom.  His ending, where one brother kills the other and then kill himself.

Why, you might ask, did Sam not mention that the angels would be sent back to Heaven, why does he not mention Cas?  I’ll tell you why, or rather, Becky will.

Plus, Dean looks back at Cas IMMEDIATELY when Sam says that, when he mentions Eileen, and THAT’S the first time he hesitates.  He can’t lose Cas.  But at the same time, he’s willing to do anything to have his freedom.

“Sam we don’t have a choice, Jack’s about to blow!”

“We always have a choice!”

You know me, just sitting here thinking about choice, the ability to choose, and how that translates to their free will.

And Sam...I don’t think there will ever be characters I love as much as these.

“I don’t care if Billie gets what she wants!  I don’t man, I’d trade it all, I’d trade em all for Chuck.  In a heartbeat!”

“What about me?”

“You’d trade me?”

“Chuck has to die.  He has to!  Otherwise he’ll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can’t live like that man, I can’t live like that, I won’t!”

“I know you feel like that right now, okay? I know you do, but you gotta trust me.  My entire life, you’ve protected me.  From Dad, from Lucifer, from everything.  I didn’t always like it, you know?  But it’s the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on.  It’s the only thing I’ve ever known that was true.  So please, put the gun away.  Just put it away.  We’ll figure it out, Dean, we’ll find another way, you and me.  We always do.”

Okay I feel like this is going to be one of those scenes that I cry watching for years to come.  Because fuck.  After fifteen years they finally admit that not only did Dean protect Sam from Lucifer, but he protected him from John.  John.  On a par with Lucifer.

Dean and Sam have, for so many years, sacrificed themselves for the other.  Dean’s demon deal, Sam and the trials, every season they have fought to see who can die the quickest for the other.  But this?  This is them fighting to stop the violence, to stop from killing the big bad.  This is them growing, in our eyes, in real time.  Sam has always been able to get through to Dean when no one else had a prayer, but for Dean to listen, for Dean to take his words to heart, to stop the hunt for Sam, for their family, that’s how you know they do have free will.

(Btw Chuck’s eye effect when he dusted Amara was sick as fuck but I’m emo for my boys so.)

Chuck knows it’s a loss, he knows that his story has, once again, been thwarted by the boys making their own choices.  And he’s pissed, but in his anger, we get a bomb dropped on us.

“Spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday.  You know what every other version of you did after “gripping him tight and raising him from perdition”?  They did what they were told.  But not you.  Not the one off the line with a crack in his chassis.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Also, just worth bringing up this one as well:

Every Castiel pulled Dean out of Hell.  Every one told him the same thing.  And yet, immediately, with this Cas and this Dean, something was different.  Because what has everyone seen about Cas, from the moment he met Dean?

And there’s our endgame people.  Laid out on the line.

But we ain’t done yet, fam.

We’ve talked about the handprint, but you know:

So there you have it, our prep into the “monumental” 15x18.  I have spec on that, of course, but I think a novel is long enough for this.

What to take away: Dean’s rage was always Chuck’s plan, they do have free will, their love for each other, for their family, is what will stop Chuck’s control, Death is about to come back with a vengeance, Cas’ deal is at play, and, most importantly, Castiel and Dean Winchester are a blind spot for Chuck, something he has never, not once, controlled.

[shirophantomvox]

Ging Freecss Character Analysis

Hisoka Analysis| Illumi Analysis| Killua Analysis| Chrollo Analysis

What’s up, y’all? I am back again with another analysis. Today, I will be talking about Ging Freecss and I am glad that this was requested by @dukinaxael. I’ve been wanting to talk about Ging for a while and now is my time to shine. PS, I’ll be doing Leorio’s character next.  I’m sorry that this is so short! I haven’t been able to watch the last seasons because Netflix will not upload them. Enjoy anyway!

We all know that Ging is considered to be a dead-beat father to his son Gon. He is the reason why Gon wants to become a hunter in the first place and will do ANYTHING to achieve that goal. As the story is told, Ging left his home when he was 12 years old to take the Hunter’s exam. After passing, he never returned home, at some point met Gon’s mom, and saved a lot of felons/criminal’s lives. Now he is apart of the Hunter’s association (I think?) and apart of the Zodiacs (I think). Some of these next statements are assumptions because I haven’t seen anything past season 4. From that little bit of information, it seems like Gon gets his “over achiever” mentality from his dad. Who would have thought that a young man who had just obtained his hunter’s license would use it to help out criminals instead of busting them? Aunt Mito has expressed how she felt once her brother left and didn’t return, that is why she stressed that Gon should return home once he gets his license. She even stated that she cried for the longest when she realized he wasn’t coming back.

The whole mystery about why Ging abandoned Gon is very fuzzy. According to Aunt Mito, Ging dropped Gon at his house, said that he isn’t with Gon’s mom anymore, and left while some people say that Mito took Gon from Ging because she felt that he was too immature to take care of him. Some even say that he lost a custody case to her. I can’t tell you if this is true or not because I don’t know and I haven’t seen any seasons after 4.

Judging from YouTube Clips, Ging seems to be a selfish dad and doesn’t care about how his son basically cried like fuck for feeling guilty about what happened to Kite.

Leorio asked why he hadn’t seen Gon in the hospital and he acted like he didn’t care. If you think about it, Gon is the type of child that doesn’t want things handed to him, so maybe Ging was implying that he didn’t want to see Gon until he continued to push and work towards finding him. Still, that’s a horrible way to reacted once you’ve found out that your son is about to die. Here are some questions that I’m sure most of you have:

Why did Hisoka want to talk to Ging? Does he know that Ging is related to Gon?

Why does he refuse to go anywhere near Gon?

Why does he only talk to Gon on a high tree and not on the ground where everyone else is?

Why did he send his son on a goose chase just to find him?

I don’t want to say that I hate Ging but I strongly dislike him. (If he did do this) Why would you abandoned your child and leave him with your sister for her to raise? Then you send your 12 year old son, who had endured so much emotional pain/trauma from beasts he had to fight along the way, BTW,  just to meet you and then you only talk to him once your high off the ground? Ging, not the best guy in the world and certainly doesn’t deserve the #1 Dad mug.

Did Ging do all of this so he could make his son stronger while he was away?

In regards to question 1, I’ve seen some rumors on YouTube implying that Hisoka had an agreement with Ging to watch over Gon until he returns. I’m assuming this was after Gon left home.  Ging said that once Gon returns home safely he and Hisoka will fight until the death.

Do you all remember when Hisoka told Gon something along these lines at the end of their fight at Heaven’s arena?

Many people have suggested that Hisoka had been protecting Gon and Killua from fighting opponents they wouldn't win against and it makes sense. He wouldn’t let them pass until they learned about Nen and beat the crap out of them hoping that the pain would cause them to quit fighting and never receive their Hunter’s License or take on strong opponents. Now if that last part is true, why would Ging set up an entire game to lead Gon to him? That's still twisted no matter how you look at it. Like I said, this manga is twisted in ways that I can't understand, lol.

Hisoka and Gon consistently fighting reminds me of Danny Phantom and Vlad Plasmius.

Another person implied that Hisoka and Kite were people directed by Ging and along the way included Bisky (just by coincidence).

I would like to make a note. Pictures that were taken of young Ging portrayed him to be a happy and proud man but present day Ging looks angry, unhappy, and always ready to fight. Could this be due to the horrific nature of the Hunter's exam and other opponents that turned his innocence and humanity into something worse? We see the same thing happen to Gon. He was a happy bright kid that allows his anger to spiral out of control...and always wants to fight.

Well, you know what they say: Like father like son.

Ging and Gon finally have a talk as father and son.

Apparently, Ging is on his way to the Dark Continent and forbids Gon to follow him. Overall, Ging has a toxic love for his son by consistently pushing his away until the very last second. I don’t know what is up but this anime is the definition of toxic love.

I can definitely say that Ging is a much better father than Zarkon. At least he acknowledges Gon unlike Zarkon who thinks his son is weak because he is half Altean. Damn, anime/manga’s; what’s up with the toxic father trope? Is this supposed to be the driving force to marketing these male characters stronger? Not going to lie, the toxic or sexist father trope is old and annoying .

This part of the analysis is based form what I’ve heard about Ging, YouTube clips, and what has been said about him. Of course I’m probably leaving out a lot of information but that’s because I haven’t seen the rest of the seasons.

Judging from photos kept around the house, Ging always wore his hat over his eye. I guess he was going for the Emo look when he was younger. His hat has hairs stick out from it which probably implies a certain type of cloth the hat is made from. In other instances, He has his hair sticking up like Gon’s but has a cloth wrapped around the edges. He wants them to be on fleek you know? Other times he just has his hair out with no hat or cloth. He usually wears white pants, shirt, and a blue cloth over his front and back side.

I hope you all enjoyed this. I did try my best and I am so sorry that it is short.

[reidgraygubler]

Could you write some headcanons about Spencer and his bisexual gf going to Pride together I’m deeply closeted and I’d appreciate it a lot—❤️ I understand if you don’t write for female readers btw

omg yes i love this! mostly bc i too am a closeted bisexual girl! bear with me because i’ve never written hcs before! but here’s what I came up with! i added reader coming out as bi to spencer! i’ve also only even been to one pride festival and it was the VERY last day, almost the last few hours...

Spencer going to pride for the first time w/ his bi girlfriend:

You and Spencer had been in a relationship for a little over a year now. It was like a match made in heaven.

After the first few months of dating and getting comfortable with each other, you decided to tell Spencer that you were bisexual

Of course, you were very worried and scared about his reaction. 

Would he be mad that you kept something from him? Would he be hurt? Would he leave you? You were worried about all the stigmas of being bisexual in a “straight” relationship. 

You didn’t want to lose Spencer about this. Being bisexual was apart of who you were and you didn’t want to change who you were for someone.

So, you went and got coffee when you told him. 

The two of you went to his favorite cafe. 

It was silent for the first few moments, taking in the way Spencer watched you and looked at you.

Part of you was worried that he was compiling a profile on you and why were acting a little… off.

“What’s going on? You’re really quiet,” he asked, watching as you lowered your coffee back to the tabletop.

You swallowed roughly as you tried to avoid his gaze. 

“Yeah, everything is okay.” You half lied, even though something wasn’t okay.

The look on Spencer’s face worried you a little bit, but you brushed it off and shook your head. 

“Actually, I have to tell you something, Spence,” You spoke, shifting slightly in your seat.

Spencer sat closer to the edge of his seat and folded his hands on the table in front of him. It was clear he was worried about what you needed to tell him.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about how I wanted to tell you this.” 

The two of you had a fair share of emotions go through your heads.

Spencer was worried you were about to break up with him, or he was thinking you were pregnant. So it was fair that he was worried. 

“I’m… Basically, I’m bisexual.” 

The words fell from your lips so easily and smoothly. You weren’t sure if you actually said the words.

It felt like a weight was off your shoulders. Your body relaxed slightly once your confession/secret was out to him. 

You were actually out to someone who wasn’t your best friend. And it felt so, so good. 

But then the realization of it hit you and you looked back at Spencer. He was looking at you with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Thank you for telling me… And for trusting me with something like this.”

He reached out and grasped your hand. 

“It doesn’t change the way I think about you. You’re still the person I care deeply about,” 

“You’re not mad… You’re not going to leave me or anything? You don’t think I’m going to leave you for JJ or Emily?” 

You blabbed, your words kinda slipping from your mouth because of how anxious you were getting. 

Spencer laughed. But you weren’t hurt by his laughter, you were relieved in a weird way. 

“No, I’m not mad. I’m not going to leave you… And, I trust you enough to know you won’t leave me for JJ or Emily… Considering JJ is married.” 

The relief you felt was exponential. He trusted you.

A few months later, and it was mid-June. Pride Month

You’d always wanted to go to a pride festival and/or a pride parade. You’ve never gone because you didn’t want to go alone.

You’d mentioned it to Spencer once or twice that you wanted to go to the DC festival, that it’d be a lot of fun, and you wanted him to go with.

He wasn’t sure if it was possible, due to work commitments.

That was until one morning, Spencer appeared at your door with a small gift bag and a smile pasted on his lips. 

You weren’t sure what he was going on when you invited him into your home.

“I got you something,” he smiled as he handed over the bag. 

You raised your eyebrows before pulling the tissue paper out of the bag and pulling out an object. 

Spencer looked at you with a playful smile as you unwrapped the gift. 

It was a bisexual pride 

Your heart filled with so much happiness as you looked between the gift and Spencer. Tears filled your eyes from how much emotion you felt.

“I also heard the pride festival started yesterday…” He smiled as you pulled the plastic wrapping off the flag. 

You looked at him with wide eyes and a wide smile. 

You pushed the flag to the side before throwing your arms around Spencer’s neck and pressing your lips to his cheek.

“We can go if you want to. I know you’ve wanted to go to one for a while now,” 

“Of course I want to go!” You exclaimed as you looked at him.

And just like that, you two set to get ready to go to the festival. 

You changed into a pair of shorts with fishnets and a pink crop top.

You also managed to attach the bisexual pride flag as some sort of cape over your shoulders

Spencer was content in what he was wearing (which was his usually wear. Black slacks, a button-up, and his signature cardigan)

Spencer drove and he could tell you were buzzing with excitement.

When you actually got to the festival yourself, you felt so welcomed by everyone there

Even Spencer felt the same way!

Hand in hand, you two walked around the festival, taking in everything and everyone. 

People complimented your outfit and flag.

People even hit on Spencer (which you honestly found mildly humorous, because it totally went over his head.) 

Some places of the festival held some LGBT+ artists (both singing and art)

Spencer was interested in a lot of the books and art in the “artist alley” whereas you were interested in the “Concert” and food truck alley

One vendor stopped you two and offered Spencer a makeover.

At first, he was a little apprehensive. He wasn’t one to wear makeup or glitter or anything “feminine” 

Sure you’d convinced him to wear nail polish once or twice, but it didn’t last too long.

He eventually caved and got the makeover.

He looked great.

The vendor put rainbow highlighter and glitter on his cheekbones and a dark berry lipstick on his lips. 

His eyeshadow (and liner) was flawless. You were definitely jealous of the purple, blue, and magenta shadow and perfect cat eyeliner. 

He got even more compliments from fellow LGBT+ members. 

When you guys eventually made it home, you were still excited but equally exhausted. And Spencer could tell. 

“I had a lot of fun today, Spence,” you looked at your boyfriend as you sat beside him on the couch.

He wrapped his arm around you and looked down at you. 

“It was a great idea. I’m happy I could go to your first pride,” he whispered before pecking your forehead. 

“The parade is in a few days… Would you want to go?”

“We’ll see,”

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

hello hello hello!  and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural. 

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12.  I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round.  HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance,  and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad).  Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation.  **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?)  We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily] 

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY 

How do you know all that?

DEAN 

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY 

John Winchester.

DEAN 

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME.  Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”).  The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.  

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas.  I HATE it here in super hell.  Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt.  This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines).  We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand.  That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment?  In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment.  This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John.  That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean.  Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument.  That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN.  We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried.  The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone.  The part that helped Amara.  The part that loves Cas.  And that’s why Amara brought her back.  

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN 

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL 

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL 

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN 

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth - 

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean. 

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok?  Ok.  You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT 

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people.  Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have 

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!  

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks. 

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN 

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN 

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.  

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL 

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY 

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN 

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY 

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY 

And you took it?

GREGORY 

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN 

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY 

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY 

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY 

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that.  Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.  

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing.  You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.  

[anothersillyfanblog]

Earth On Hell

This is my Sanders Sides gift for @marsupials-of-mars for @sanderssidesgiftxchange!!! Basically all the sides are demons, hanging out in hell, but one of them (wonder who) is a teeny bit more chaotic than the others. (P.s I am gonna post on ao3 in a few days as well btw.)  Btw I’m not great at tags so mega apologies if it still slipped through sorry.

Hell.

Lunch breaks round here weren’t boring- there was plenty to see and do in hell- it had just kind of reached a point for Janus where most of it had already been done. Hence why, no matter what his colleagues in the eighth circle said, there was something interesting about sitting down with this chatty little demon and watching the human flesh blister.

“Y’know what I think?” the younger demon, Remus, casually asked. Janus sighed. “I try not to.” “I think that everyone who ends up here is dumb.” He tossed a rat into his mouth “All you gotta do is act nice and suck up to the big daddy in the clouds- that’s it! Easier than boiling babies!” “No,” Janus raised his eyebrows. “Because it’s based on the nature of your soul not what you do.”

“Well that ain’t fair! What if you can’t HELP dreaming of torture and carving hearts into carcases (or whatever these idiots got in here for), like it’s in your pretty little head from day uno?” He wagged his finger at Janus. “They could never do anything wrong in their entire life but get sent here for naughty thinking… seems a lil shitty to me.” “Well apparently they can ‘repent their sins and get eternal salvation’.” Janus revelled in the other guys’ confusion for a moment. “Say sorry a lot and it’ll be ok.” “Ohhhhhhhhhhh right. Oh yeah ok.” Remus nodded. “Seems a bit suspicious, are you sure that’s a thing?”

A couple of screams got louder, and Janus turned to see a scrawny horned demon carrying a bucket and biting his lip. He had his arms comically wrapped all the way round it- an ugly neon yellow bucket with a ‘warning’ label (because hell needs health and safety standards)- and he was edging towards a nearby cliff.

“Hey Virge!” Remus called out “What’cha doin?” “I…” the horned demon tipped the bucket over the precipice as the screams intensified “…am adding a couple… of new souls… to the… whirlwind.” “Come get lunch, Virgil! It’s rat day!” he grinned, holding up a rodent “Also didn’t Pat tell you to do that like, a week ago?” “Yes but I’m also a dumb bitch.” Virgil sat down next to Remus. “Who’s this?” he glanced awkwardly at Janus. “I-” “HE’S my friend from the EIGHTH FUCKING CIRCLE!!!” Remus interrupted. “That not being the eighth circle of fucking, though it might well be…” “It’s not.” Janus clarified. “Yeah, I didn’t think it was.” Virgil smiled “I’m Virgil. I work with him under Patton? Second circle so-to-speak.” “Oh yeah I know the guy.”

Patton was the overseer for a lot of things in the lower levels. Not really a specific tier, or a specific expertise, but if you spent any time in one-five then you at least saw him. Most people ‘above’ him were aware of him in a general sense. Janus had met him twice? Three times? Yeah, if you counted bumping shoulders at the river Styx that one time, then it was three.

It made sense that Remus and Virgil worked for Patton- a lot of the younger demons did these days.

“UGH doesn’t everyone?” Remus whined “He is annoying!” “He’s your boss.” Janus observed. “Yes, and he’s annoying! I say we, I dunno, set fire to his ass or something…” Virgil shrunk into his seat “He’s our boss? Also he isn’t in charge of everyone, he has a boss right…” “Yeah, but uh…” Remus clicked his fingers “We were saying weren’t we?” he looked at Janus. “No. Whatever you think we were saying, we weren’t.” “People shouldn’t get here for wanting to do crimes!” he clapped his hands “I think we should break everyone out of hell.”

One week later: Hell

Work hours, naturally. Janus was trying to process new souls but honestly there was no signal and his tablet just wasn’t working.

“And they say eighth circle is an enviable job…” he tapped the screen “I- I’ll be with you in a moment, sorry about this.” He said to the guy in line to be thrown into the pit. “No, no, take your time.”

Finally, the sound of footsteps approaching! Janus looked up and smiled. “Ah, the tech guy! Yeah, there’s no service on this, so if you could-”

“Where’s Remus?” Janus smiled a little “Excuse me?” “Which circle can Remus be found in?” the tech guy kept his face stern (if he was the tech guy) “I know you know him.” “I’m working right now, or trying to, so come back when I’m not and then we can talk.”

The tech guy ripped the tablet out of Janus’ hands.

“Where can Remus be found?” “He isn’t an important demon-” “Lower tiers…” “Not what I mean, I meant you shouldn’t need him.” “But I do.” “Why?” “Irrelevant, just tell me where he is located.” “Well forgive me for thinking you’re going to hurt him, but I think you’re- you know- going to hurt him.” “Falseh- it’s inconsequential, I must find him.” Janus paused. “Fix my tablet, please. I believe you.”

The tech guy looked momentarily confused before realising what Janus meant and doing so. “Second circle, every time I’ve seen him.” Janus said “Is… is he in trouble?”

“Not with me, negative. I do not have the influence to get many people into trouble. As for the future…” he sighed “I would advise you to keep your distance from him, though that’s my observation.” He left off towards the exit of the tier.

Janus grimaced, looking at his now-working tablet.

“If it’s any consolation, it probably won’t affect you.” The guy in line said, making Janus jump in surprise. “Shit! I need to get all you processed, I am gonna get in trouble.” He smiled at the guy who now frowned. “Okay name and age at time of death…”

One month later: Hell

“Where’s-” “Remus?” Patton interrupted. “we’re dealing with it.” Janus chuckled “Will anyone down here actually let me finish a sentence?” “Of course, my apologies- what were you going to say?” “Where is Virgil?” he smirked. “He works in your general bracket, right?”

Patton breathed in sharply. No one had seen Virgil since Remus had started (conveniently) quietening down, and Janus knew it. Everybody knew it. His work tallies were still placed in- by who, nobody knew- but the second circle was widely lacking in Virgil.

“He’s doing some work on…” Patton’s eyes darted round rapidly “admin. He’s working on potential field experience up there, needs to put in the admin first.”

Janus raised his eyebrows, looking up towards the Earth. “The thing is, Pat, I’m Eighth circle. I specialize in fraud- you know what that is?” Patton nodded. “Deceit, Patton, lies. And every day suave fuckers queue up trying to tell me why I have ‘the wrong circle’ or why ‘they should get special treatment’ and guess what, Patton? It’s always bullshit.”

He stared straight at the other demon. “I have been doing this for too damn long to not have the fucking right to tear the throat of anyone, ANYONE, who dares to be as lousy as you at lying to me. So don’t ever tell me that Virgil is doing admin, FUCKING ADMIN, because no one here will believe- or miss- you.” He sighed. “Let’s start again. Where’s Virgil?”

Patton swallowed “I…”

“Do you not know?” Janus asked, “This will go a lot better for you if you just admit that you don’t know.” Patton shook his head “Not exactly, no.” he whispered, “We’re not sure where he is.” “Not sure or don’t know?” “We know he’s in hell… we know that, we’re aware of him but not where.” Janus pinched his forehead “Okay so out of all the nine circles of hell, you have no clue, none. Lovely.” “If Remus would co-operate…” Patton muttered. “If I would what now?”

Ah yes, Remus. Walking cheerily towards them, smile slightly wider than ever, living his best life. Of course it was most likely that he had been questioned on Virgil’s whereabouts, given their activities during the past month-or-so, but Remus had decided to ‘calm down’ now and had ‘no idea about anything that anyone was doing’. Or so he had said to Janus.

“Patton! You already know I told ya everything about Virge, didn’t I?” he grinned. “Of course, don’t doubt it.” Patton said, as if he were lecturing a child. “And you got all your silly little friends to stand down which was very good of you.” Remus clapped his hands. “Yes! I did that!” “BUT!” Patton wagged his finger “I think you may have forgotten places that Virgil could be- or things you knew about Virgil.” Remus gasped in shock “Oh no!” “We want to find him, you want to find him. Let’s do this together please.” Patton nodded towards Janus. “Isn’t that right?” “Huh?” Janus smirked “Oh yes, working together. Of course.” Patton smiled again, then turned to leave.

Remus groaned “Ugh, what an annoying piece of poop! Wanna feed him to a pack of rampaging squirrels!” “Where’s Virgil?” “Up your butt!” Remus laughed, “Just kidding, don’t check, I have no idea.” Janus nearly prayed out of sheer frustration. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Remus, unholy shit.” “Okay, okay!” he giggled. “So I might know… but I can’t tell you.” “Why?” Janus asked, confused, “You think I’m going to run to Patton?” Remus looked down “Well, Logan says you shouldn’t be involved in-”

“You’re still working with Logan? You said you’d told them to stand down…” Remus chuckled “You believe that?” “Well, no,” Janus admitted, “But I…what the fuck are you planning?” “Eh, just a little bit of trouble…” “What you did already was a ‘little bit of trouble’- hell, it got your supervisors’ attention, so actually it was kinda a bit more than that.” Janus explained. “I made a group?” “A militia.” Remus threw his arms up “Well, we barely did anything! Pat WAY overreacted!” “Not… if you’re actually planning something he didn’t.” “So you are on his side?”

“I…” Janus looked away. “I don’t want this going south. For you, Virge, us. That’s the bargain you make when you leave heaven, to look out for you and yours. Get what is considered ‘best’ down here.” “But what if what is ‘mine’ is…” Remus looked wistfully at the hurricane of souls swirling around them “Never mind. See you around!”

He made his way off towards the offices where he worked, leaving Janus listening to the winds scream for mercy.

One year later: Hell

“Here.” Janus held out a bucket of blood that spat angrily at both of the demons, “from management.” Roman didn’t look up. “Chuck it in, before they get too comfortable.”

Janus peered down at the bubbling lake, almost glad to see that some parts of hell hadn’t changed that much. He poured the new blood in and watched the souls writhe- no hope of Remus for this lot. Though somehow, in some corners, they screamed out his name. How? Patton had nearly torn his horns off the first time he’d heard it, because how? How could they know about him? And that was the problem when the fresh blood was added and the screaming began anew.

What they screamed for.

Roman rolled his eyes “I’ve never wanted them to stop more…” Janus scoffed “You should see Patton, he has lost it.” “How so?” “Apparently,” he began, “He’s been inventing and subjecting harsher tortures for any souls who mention his name- or the others.” Roman chuckled at this “Well! Woe betide any gossip outlet, then…” “He’s getting them shut down, I think.” Roman gasped “His higher-ups can’t approve of that- right?”

Janus raised his eyebrows “His higher-? Roman, after the whole, well, you know… after Remus did all that, his only higher ups were a couple of folks in what used to be ninth circle.” He looked to the lake of blood. “Now? I don’t think some of them would even challenge him…”

“Oh.” Roman smiled. “How long’s that going to last?” “What?” “Patton- in charge? Until things are figured out, right?”

At this Janus started to laugh. He kept laughing and laughing till Roman joined in then realised it just wasn’t funny because it never had been.

“Forever.” He scowled. “He’s going to stabilize and reorganize the layers he has, take back the ones he doesn’t, put the souls back into torment, then execute the demons. All of them. Remus, Virgil, Logan, Remy, ALL OF THEM WILL DIE. Painfully. And then! He will rule over hell forever.”

“That’s a bit cynical.” “Well EXCUSE ME-” “No, I just thought- being an ex-friend of Remus- you might’ve been more cheerful.” Janus bit his lip. “We weren’t friends because we were even remotely similar. We were friends because I was bored, work was boring.” “Okay, makes sense!” Roman smiled. “So we’re all gonna end up working under Patton (if we aren’t already) and it’s gonna be aaaahhh ooohh not good very bad?” “Little bit more than that, but yes.” “Ah so more painfully terrible every moment we’re awake?” “Yeah.” “Hm… why not leave?” Roman casually asked. You know, casually.

Janus scoffed “Because of the whole dying thing?” he gestured wildly “I can’t go off on my own; I don’t stand a chance, I can’t repent; you have to mean that shit, and I can’t go with Remus and his crew because- because…” he looked down “I’m sorry Roman but the reason I never got too involved in the first place is because what he plans just isn’t going to work. He can’t win- he’ll die, and if I get involved then I will too and the point of all of this,” he spread his arms round “Is so you can look out for yourself, so you don’t have to be selfless and give up everything for someone else. Why do I have to be ashamed for not wanting to be a martyr?”

“I… you don’t.” “Exactly” Janus snapped. “If you truly believe that this is what’s better,” Roman added. Janus whistled “No, that’s…” he shook his head “Anyway. Whatever happens, they can’t be faulted for trying.” “No, absolutely not! Wait we are talking Remus and-” “Of course I’m talking about Remus’ lot.” Roman nodded “Ah, well yes- I agree. They’ve done a surprisingly competent job, all of them.”

They both paused for a moment. “It’s because they have the tech guy.” “It’s coz of the tech guy.” Roman agreed “I mean it’s not like the rest of his crew can’t organize things, but…” “It’s the tech guy.” Janus concluded “I hear he orchestrated the ‘Virgil plot’.” “Exactly!” Roman exclaimed “and that was wow, just impressive as anything (if you don’t mind me saying), like- hiding Virgil for that long to steal that many souls? If they don’t win it’ll be a little depressing.” “It’ll be more than that.” Janus smiled solemnly.

“It’ll be the end of life as we know it.”

Ten Years Later: Italy.

“Virge!” Janus could hear someone calling outside of the cavern “can you get that thick ass over here, please?” That ‘someone’ was probably Remus. “Janus, that includes you too!” “How does ‘Virge’ include me?” he called back. “Don’t question the king of crimes!”

Reluctantly, Janus stood up and wandered out to the frosty mountainside. He grimaced- the cold bits of hell had never been his favourite, even when they flaunted ‘coveted positions’ and such. Still.

“You want a coffee?” Remy asked. “Please.” He gestured over to a nearby hut “The coffee machine is right there, honey.” “But I never get the ratio right…” Janus pleaded. Remy chuckled and sipped his drink “Girl, that just ain’t my problem!”

“Janus!” Remus grabbed his arm suddenly and yanked him away “You sexy motherfucker, I called you an AGE ago! Now come on!” “Right, what do you need?” “Emotional stability…” Remus placed his hand on his chest “Just kidding! So basically, the waterpump’s broken (but Logan’s “dealing with that”), we received word that Patton has guns now- so we need better defences just in case- and also Patton has guns so yeah. Can we have those please?” Janus’ eyes widened. “Ok so is Patton-with-a-gun confirmed, or a rumour? Because hell basically never deploys projectiles.” “Are you sure I can’t be used as a projectile?” Remus half-spoke aloud “Yeet me at them.” “You’re getting distracted.” “Oh. Yes, it’s confirmed. One billion percent.” Janus pinched his forehead “Well, somehow I doubt that statistic, but okay. Let’s work on anti-gun strategy, defence, etc. because it is possible they’ll get hold of unholy projectiles specifically for us.” “Why can’t we get guns?” “Maybe one day, but if you actually think I trust you with a GUN-” “Fair point”

“Um, I was called?” Virgil was stood in the snow, watching them talk. They both jumped. “Yeah like, FIFTY YEARS AGO!” Remus cried. “Oh I’M sorry, look I did show up- it’s just I didn’t want to interrupt…” he trailed off. Janus smiled. “That’s understandable.” “That’s understandable.” Remus mimicked “Ooh, whatever, we were just chatting! No rules on chatting! Also what are your thoughts on guns?” “I think we should focus on hiding for now…” “BORING! Guns?” “Let him speak” Janus warned. Virgil looked down “I mean, our last skirmish went well, and we are getting more to join… but right now I think we should focus on what we have. And that advantage is mystery. Let’s keep it.” “Ooh mystery! Spooky!” Remus wiggled his arms. “No, I get what you mean.” Janus nodded “Like how you got so many in the beginning because they were intrigued, people will talk if we stay off the map for a while.” Remus tutted “Oh, you. Being sensible.” He frowned “We’ve been lucky, haven’t we? To live?” Janus smiled “Like this? Absolutely.” “Yeah, we should go under. Be sneaky! Recruit people who aren’t dicks and so on.”

Logan agreed with the idea for once, which was probably because it was Virgil’s, but also he stated: “We have already been living ‘both figuratively and literally underground’ so it makes an appropriate amount of sense to make this an officially secret place of dwelling.” 

He also agreed with Janus’ gun-plan. This, of course, being that they focus on defence and perhaps work on getting weapons of their own in the future. Though he was a little heavier on the “no gun-wielding-Remus” stance, stating: “On no condition can he be allowed a gun, none. Others in our company- fine. I will trust from the upper-most generals to the smallest child amongst us with a projectile, but never Remus. Oh and can we consider adding Remy to that list?”

Janus didn’t bother to question the part about trusting children with guns, he simply nodded and got to work on defence, sometimes smiling at Remus as he did.

And it didn’t matter what anyone was or wasn’t doing, Remus always grinned away.

One Century Later

[exodusmc]

Written in the stars

Genre: soulmate au, werewolf au, angst, fluff

Words: 1667

Paring: Werewolf Seungcheol x human reader

Warning!: Hinting to feeling very low and alone

a/n: I hope you know you shouldn’t follow a starnger :) btw I want to start writing for seventeeen cus I love them

gif is not mine 

Watching the stars was what you loved the most, how they shone so bright while they were so far away, how they could still sparkle while the moon hung heavy in the sky. It was like they were a force which couldn't be taken down, like they would be up there forever.

The hill was in the outskirts of the city, edging to the forest standing tall and dark. You would come here whenever you felt down or the sky had lit up by the millions of stars, unfortunately were your reason the first one now. 

Tears rolled down your cheeks, quiet and somehow invisible. You had always wondered how the people around seemed so oblivious to your pain, the hurt behind every smile, but over the time had you learned that it was your own fault for laying your happiness in their hands. If you just could talk to someone, everything would change, but you couldn't and was left to wither like the flowers during autumn. A shaky sigh left your lips, back pressed against the grass, and now were you somewhere else but on earth, a place where everything was magical and nothing hurt. 

“Are you okay?”a voice broke your dream, made you sit up fast with wide eyes. Teras still fell down your face so you tried to dry them as fast as you could while the boy with raven hair and eyes like the sky above your head stared. He seemed concerned, a white shirt hanging loosely over his shoulders. It was odd in a way, since you were bundled up in a winter jacket and he was dressed so lightly.”Are you hurt?”

“N-no..”you sounded so weak in your own ears, sending shame right down your bones. He had caught you in your most vulnerable moment and you hated it.”..I’m fine..”

“Are you sure..?”the more you looked at him, the more relaxed you felt. He had a kind face, upper lip a bit bigger than the under and warm orbs. He was on the fairer side but you wouldn't call him pale.

“Yes..”he only shrugged to your answer, sitting down by your side but with a distance so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. You watched as he gazed at the stars, how he mirrored them, and then he smiled, a gummy smile which made your heart race. 

“Can you see Orion’s belt? It’s over there..”you finally managed to tear your eyes from his to watch where he pointed. His finger drew lines over the sky, connected the stars until they made pictures. All over the sky were small stories of people before you, they who had maped the heaven for everyone after. 

You stayed with him for a long time, so long the first rays of the sun slowly peeked over the city. It surprised you slightly, the way he made you forget the world with just his voice, the soft melody of tones making you fly so far away from the grey. 

“It’s morning…”

“It is..”you hadn't meant for it to be a question, just a simple statement which he answered with those lips and eyes, deep as the sky is wide. 

“..I should go..”but you didn't want to leave him, this stranger who regarded life a little different, saw it through the night instead of the day. 

“..You probably should…”no one moved, just watched the other as if to remember every line crossing over their face. He truly was breathtaking, born to meet you on the hill where grass was green. 

So you sat, back leaving the ground as eyes found the city line. He did the same, shoulders brushing against the other, sparking life in your numb limbs. This stranger pulled you to him without reaching for you, had you trembling with no more than the feel of his shirt. He had made you forget about your hurt with just his presence and you didn't even know his name. 

“Who are you?” if you had been with someone else, the question would have sounded stupid to your ears, sent embarrassment to colour your cheeks, but with him were you just curious and maybe a little scared, because what if he was just a dream? A dream too good to be true?

“I’m sorry…”and with that was he running away, disappearing into the thick forest hiding everything from the world. You had been right, he had been someone you weren't worthy of having, just your imagination losing its grip. A new tear rolled down your cheek, cracking the euphoric feeling you so greedily hogged. The world is just cruel, luring you with beauty that is more than a face, luring you with the beauty of a soul. 

-

Oh how you hurt that week, felt every stab at your heart as your life slowly went on. He never left you dreams, a smile which haunted you, ripped your skin from your bones so you would feel naked. Pain and pain and pain and pain. 

Saturday was your saving grace, a day you didn't have to do anything, a night you could spend by your safe space. Only he had changed it, dulled it just a bit. Looking around, you felt like there was a missing piece to the puzzle, a tree too little or a stone too much, all because of him and his smile. 

“..Hello..” and there he was again, sheepishly watching you with those drowning orbs. If you would describe his expression would it be like a puppy who had done something it knew it shouldn't have.”How have you been?”

You wanted to hit him, scream all your pain he made you feel, but just sat there, watching, waiting for him to come. 

His hair hung down his forehead, hiding his eyes just a bit, making him glance from under them. You could tell he studied you, careful with every move you made. He knew he had hurt you and oh how much pain he felt too. 

“Why’d you leave?”down casting his face, he mumbled something too low for you to hear. The stranger you saw as a friend, a saviour, laid down on the grass, once again dressed in a thin shirt, muscles pressing against the fabric for you to see. 

“I didn't want to..”frustration filled you, furrowed your eyebrows while your heart hurt. 

“Then why?”your anger melted right off when he looked at you, eyes and forehead on full display. Pain filled him too, pulled you into his grasp once again.   

“Because what if?”what if what? You wanted to ask, get the answer you thought you deserved but this boy only shook his head, turning to the stars so he could watch them with the eyes you wanted to feel.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”his voice was low, disappearing high in the sky as you tuned out the world in favour of hearing him, in favour of wondering about his words. Soulmates? No, you didn't believe in them because how you could you? When you always were left to stare at others and never feel the bond of only being someones and them being yours.”Well I do...I think it’s written in the stars..”

And he looked at you, straight through every layer you had, deep within your soul as the whole path you should walk stayed clear in his orbs. It wasn't written in the stars, it was written in his eyes. He was pulling you in with every breath, made you want to believe because how could you not want him? The stranger with no name but a familiar feeling to his smile.

“Do you think I’m yours?”you could hear how bitter you sounded, feet standing on the ground while you felt like you were flying. He was taller than you but the warmth in his eyes never let you feel scared. 

“I know…”he was good at stealing your breath, good at make your aching heart feel like it was whole, good at luring you in with every gaze. He had spoke about the stars like they were his home but looked at you like you hung them where they were.”I know that you are mine as well as I’m yours because of what I am…”

Now were you confused. What he was? Human, with features soft as wind and the pull of the moon when he became your night. And you? Someone who felt like the world was wrong and only right when he stood by you. 

“I’m a werewolf...Something from your stories but real..”you could say nothing, just watch as eyes turned sad and mouth tight lipped.”You were supposed to be mine and I’m yours, I knew it from the second I saw you..But I was scared of what you would think, so I left, went home to my pack where I felt awful..”

“There are more of you?”thoughts swirled in your head, made it hard to pull out the important parts. 

“There are..13 to be exact..”a smile graced his face, broke that tense hard edge to his eyes for a second, brought back the warm feeling on your skin.”They are loud but they are my family...yours too if you want..”

Every rational part of your brain told you that this was crazy, that he crazy, but he didn't feel like he was lying. He felt so sincere, so scared when he added the last words, and what did you have at home? The empty feeling of staring at the ceiling alone in the dark?

“I don't even know your name…”that sheepish look came back as you realized that you had brushed over the important detail.

“..It’s Seungcheol…”

“Well Seungcheol I’m Y/n and I hope the stars are right..”he beamed as you said his name, hair standing by his nape when you kept speaking.”Because I want to see what they wrote..”

[dacreshoney]

chapter 1 the new kid on the block

the days outfit | above |

chapter 1 of my new stranger things/billy Hargrove x reader series 

summary: The new kid on the block billy Hargrove, the two baddest kids in Hawkins catch each other eyes

warnings: flirting, swearing and actions some people may not agree with 

(I do not condone any behaviours)

read to find out more 

Recap: August 20th 1983 - senior Year, not like it mattered to me, I'd already missed the first week of what is said to be the most important year of my life. This was to hide the bruises and cuts my father decided to place me with this week, but If you asked Steve Harrington I missed school to avoid him after our summer hook up. Definitely not the case, but I'll let him fill his giant hair with a little more ego.you know, having the bad girl/popular persona at school always helped hiding the cuts and bruises, suppose that's why I like to play on the stereotype a little. Saves me explaining a whole lot of no good to the principle or the police; in which would do me a fat lot of no good as my dad is the chief of police. But today I needed to get myself out of bed and stop feeling sorry for myself if i ever want to get out of this shit hole, I needed an education.

7:00 am The sun started beaming through your window, the sunrise catching your eyes, you were always an early riser, but this morning you did not want to get out of bed and face the music of school. You dragged yourself out of bed and slogged your way to the bathroom to fix yourself up, you freshened your face and applied the days makeup. Nothing too dramatic but something which compliments your features, you made your way to your wardrobe where you grabbed your favourite black cropped sweater and khaki midi skirt to match with your dr marten boots and black backpack. Your hair wavy and tucked behind your eyes complimenting your chiselled face. 

You made your way downstairs in which your father was in the kitchen reading the Hawkins daily newspaper, he glared at you as you walked passed him in the Kitchen, expecting you To forget everything he had done the days previous. 

"stopped feeling sorry for yourself and actually going to make use of your life today are you" he mocked, edging for a sarcastic response 

in return you tried not to ease into his schemes and replied, turning on your heel To glare right back at him 

"don't you worry, you will still have a job by the time you get home today" you uttered with a slight smile coming from the left corner of your lip and made your way to fetch your car keys and headed out the door. You had a black alfa Romeo spider convertible, you turned the keys in the holder and headed towards heathers house, she was just as shocked to see you pick her up for school as well as Nancy and Barbara. 

“just tell me again why you decided to miss the first week of the most important year of school miss head cheerleader?” heather probed you with one arm lent onto the edge of the window, followed by Barbara who also questioned, 

“yeah, Steve has kinda been telling everyone you were trying to avoid him after he dumped you in the summer” barb giggled with the girls. 

you eyed them up in the mirror and responded with some annoyance, 

“ for a a matter of fact girls, I dumped his ass and two heather, had stuff to deal with” 

“you won't be saying that if you don't get into college Y/N”  Nancy vocalised in the back of the car

The girls then started to giggle as heather spoke, “just you wait till you see the new boy y/n,now that is someone I wouldn't mind taking my virginity and just walking away” and she followed, “ maybe someone to finally put you in your place and play you at your own game” she mocked.  You smirked and rolled your eyes at them in which you stated, 

“I would like to see the poor boy try” and laughed, the girls followed on to coo over the new kid, you really was not interested in boys after your recent fling with Steve Harrington, well you were interested in boys, but not for a relationship. You didn't mind playing them here and there, but you had decided that there would be no strings attached, your life was too crazy for anyone to handle. As you pulled up to school and found your parking spot, crowds of people entered the hallways as the bell rang. 

5 minutes late you were to class and Mr Hodge just had to call you out, you could just never catch a break with that man.

“late miss Y/N Johnson, and he followed with “nice to have you finally grace our presence” he spoke as the class looked up to find you at the doorway. You edged towards the desk and lent over in a flirtatious manner and stated

“ well hodge, just missed your face too much so of course I had to make an appearance for you” you smiled and walked to find your seat as he dismissed you, the class laughing. You saw a new face, one you hadn't seen before staring right at you smirking and licking his lips, this must be the new boy everyone has been gawking over. Billy Hargrove. 

“this seat taken?” you winked and questioned the boy, slumped on his chair legs spread in his tight denim jeans, he looked right up to you and cheekily responded with a wink right back, 

“well princess, you could sit of my lap or the chair, take your pick?” you knew he was a little heartbreaker just by his comment. You further added while taking the seat on the chair, 

“ sweetie, we've just met, don't get to big for your boots” 

“ill take my chances with you darling” he teased. 

Billy’s POV: this was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, she seemed cheeky as well, not afraid to say what's on her mind like the rest of the cat litter at this s*** hole of a school. He knew then he'd have to get to know her, maybe someone who would make his time in Hawkins a little more bearable. 

Y/N POV:

The class had begun, you started writing your notes and could feel like someone was watching your every move, every inch of your movements were being hawked on. You turned to face billy who you could feel eyeing you up and asked abruptly “so, you must be billy, explains why you feel the need to eye up anyone with a pulse, heard a little about you” 

Billy paused and smirked right at you and commented, “well all good things I hope, but judging by that I guess not sweetheart, so tell me, why has no one mentioned you?” 

“well” I turned to face him and implied, “because i’ll break your heart sweetie, should be happy you got no one telling you about who I am” . 

“already broken, besides I might break yours” he quickly responded licking his lips.

“already broken too, shame, I might of enjoyed breaking your heart Hargrove” I claimed, turning to face the front of class as mr hodge turned to face my direction and projected. “I hope you aren't distracting my class miss Y/N Johnson”

(BTW this is a sexual education class) 

“not at all sir, billy over here was a little confused about what circumsized meant, so I was giving him a little explanation” everyone in the class giggled and turned to face billy who turned bright red. never had someone pulled him up before, never mind a girl. 

“well aren't you a class A dick sweetheart”  he spoke

“ I am yes, get used to it billy boy” I smirked 

................................................

End of class came around fast, the bell had rung for break, you spent all the first few periods teasing billy, after the end of each lesson you would make sure he got an eyeful of your long legs and curves budging past his desks. 

“still not going to tell me your name princess?” he shouted as he packed up his things to leave, your turned to face him with a smile and lent over his desk whispering in his ear, 

“ it’s Y/N” and you walked off. 

................................................

Later that day was cheer practice, you were cheer captain and you had a lot of s*** to prepare for the schools champion league for the soccer and basketball team games. So you had a lot to prepare to get the team ready and geared up to support them teams and you couldn't deny it either, you looked good in a cheer uniform. 

The soccer team had finish practice and the basketball players were getting ready to enter the pitch, to your surprise you noticed the gorgeous permed blonde `come out from under the bleachers, ripped to the heavens he was in his tight khaki booty shorts. You carried on coaching your team, shooting and throwing commands for them to get their toe touches right when you heard a voice come right up to your behind and say 

“ I wouldn't mind you ordering me about princess” billy spoke as he was licking his lips bouncing the ball on the ground. 

“I'm sure you would like to be someones little bitch hargrove” you winked, the whole practice you made sure he had full view of you in your short cheer uniform, you're good at teasing. Also not to my liking Steve was on the basketball team, having a right good stare, he was not happy one bit with Elena flirting with the new kid. 

After practice billy approached you at your car, hands leaning on the roof of your car and asked, “hey sweetheart, how's about we go for a ride? you take your car home, I follow you and we go from there” 

“why do you thing I would one let you follow me home and two get into a car with you hargrove?” you joked with him, leaning on your car door. in which he answered, 

“well I know when a girl is into me so, thought id make the offer first” he smiled. 

I laughed, “confident and cocky, must think me to be like one of the other girls here then, to fall straight at your feet, think again pal” 

to your annoyance Steve interrupted with a bitter tone to his voice, “wouldn't go there mate, she will sleep with you and leave you hanging like her dirty washing” 

you both turned to face Steve, you shouted with a hint of anger in your voice, “really Steve, you are still hung up on that, come on” 

“stay clear if I was you” Steve followed

“just proving my point harrington” you laughed as you opened your car door and turned to face him. 

“and what's that huh?” Steve laughed, expecting you to come back with a s****y comment. 

“ that you are just a little boy and I don't need a little bit steve, I need a man” you claimed facing billy who was smirking the whole time, Steve waked off with his friends in a tantrum. 

“so that ride?” billy questioned 

“you still wanna be seen with me huh?” you smiled getting into your car, turning on the engine, and billy lent down to the window where you would then be face to face and said

“ you sure as hell I do”

“then lets go billy boy” 

[christophcalledbingo]

The Guessing Game Part 2 (Dr. King Schultz fic)

Hope you are all doing well! It’s sequel time! This is the second part of the fic, read the first one or you’ll be lost. 

(Link to the first part) 

https://christophcalledbingo.tumblr.com/post/616560017298112512/the-guessing-game-dr-king-schultz-fic

(This is a bigger chapter btw, a bit more of 4k)

Hope you got the memes too hehe. There is teacher kink? There is teacher kink! Kids having class on Saturday? Yeah, it fits the narrative, don’t question the narrative!!! There is some anachronisms, this is a fic, don’t worry about it! A bit of relationship building and a bit of spice :) (I‘ll wait to use the big guns on the next part). WE GOT POVS EVERYONE (points of view).

Mentions of loss too.

It’s not that nsfw but it gets close so... idk, just enjoy.

Translations:

Himmel: Heaven

Bitte: please

Natürlich, ja!: Of course, yes!

Liebling: dear

Bastard: it’s the same in English but with a capital letter :)

Danke: Thank you.

CLARA’S POV:

I wake up to the sound of a rooster crowing, but I’m still too tired from yesterday’s little adventure, so I just go back to sleep-

“I’M A TEACHER!” I suddenly remember that I am an adult with adult responsibilities. I try to dress as fast as I can. However, my wrist still hurts and it takes longer than expected. I end up wearing a light-blue blouse and a long black skirt up to my knees. I put my caramel brown hair in a bun, grab my glasses, my shoes and my bag and I run to the school. 

Our town is the most centrical of a lot of tiny communities, so the school is located here, and all the kids from the surrounding towns come here to learn from me!

I’m was running so late that I forgot to eat breakfast... Today is going to be a bad day. Just before I arrive to the building I see a carriage with a bouncy tooth on top of it. That must be King’s… He must have parked it here and then went off to sleep at the Inn, I don’t see him anywhere. However, I see a very friendly-looking horse that’s drinking some water. Just as I get close he salutes me. 

“Good morning to you too!” I say, cheerfully. This must be King’s horse then. He looks like he has had nothing to eat since yesterday though… 

I sprint towards the school building and I see everyone inside. As I expected, someone has left me an apple on the table. I grab it.

“Thank you, to whoever gave me this, I appreciate it, so much. However, there is someone who needs it more than I do. I’ll be right back!” I then sprint outside to, what I presume, King’s horse. 

As he sees me arrive, he moves his head in a happy motion.

“Here you go boy, hope you like it. It looks very tasty indeed!” I smile and pat his head. I wonder what’s his name… “I’ll see you later, untitled horse.” And I go back to the school to give my lecture of the day. 

KING’S POV: 

I woke up quite early at the calling of a rooster. I’ve slept quite nicely… but I can’t get Clara out of my head, so unique and yet so intriguing. I hope I can find her today.

I leave the inn in a rush, no jacket, just my vest and my hat. I forgot Fritz’s dinner yesterday. He is going to be mad at me, I’m certain. Just as I arrive to the spot where I left him, I see that there is someone interacting with him. As they turn to pat Fritz, I see Clara. I try to call her, but she ends up not hearing me and running to the closest building. 

“Sometimes I envy you, my dear friend… I wish that was me, a moment back there. To be the one she gets to pet so dearly.... I mean, not pet- just- just have a good lunch together and then maybe hold hands, and then...” I shouldn’t think that way, she is far too young and no interested at all… Nonetheless, curiosity gets the best of me and I look through the window of the closest building. Clara is writing something on a board in a beautiful cursive, and there is a room full of children that seem to be cherishing every instant. 

“Ok, so today is ‘shifting book day’.” And every kid in the room just complains. “I know and I’m sorry. I know that you wanted new books, but I couldn’t aff… get my hands on any that were worth of your amazing taste! I’m so sorry, I’ll try to find some worthy books next week.” She seems to have economical issues, and I just caused her night job to close… 

The kids shift the books with their friends as Clara looks at them with sadness. Just at that moment she takes notice of my presence. She gives me a very big smile and I smile back, then raises her hand, showing me one finger, and mouthing something on the ways of “Give me just a moment.” And I nod to let her know that I understand. 

“Next class is going to be biology everyone, but before that we should all get a rest. Grab your snacks and we will resume the lesson in fifteen minutes.” All the kids cheer as they go outside. Then Clara makes a motion that lets me know that is ok for me to enter the building. As I enter however, I take notice of how beautiful she looks today, and I unwittingly smile . 

“Hello you! Good morning! I knew that we were going to look for each other today, but I wasn’t expecting that you were to find me so soon!” Clara laughs and I think I just went to Himmel.

“It took longer than planned, where you hiding from me?”  

“Me? I would never do that! Not from you that is.” She says ironically, as she puts her bandaged hand on her chest.

“Are you feeling better? Does the bandage hurt?”

“Oh, no, not at all. I guess… I guess it’s a little bit tight, but it’s supposed to be like that, isn’t it?”

“Indeed but, can I take a look? Just in case.”

“Yeah, sure, of course, do whatever you need to do…” I put on my glasses, grab her hand very gently and I start to examine the bandage.

CLARA’S POV:

Oh my- Why am I so flushed?! He touched my hand yesterday and I wasn’t so flushed! Is it the glasses? He does look very handsome with them- I SHOULDN’T THINK ABOUT THAT! He touches my hand very gently, putting one of his under mine for support, and he uses the other one to look for any weird marks of signs of excessive pressure.

“I don’t see any worrying marks, but if you want I can change the bandage now and loosen it up a bit.”

“Please… If it isn’t too much trouble, it’s difficult to write in a blackboard with the bandage so tight.”

“I’ll go to get what I need then, just a moment.”

As I see him get out of the building, I allow myself to drop on my chair and breathe. This man should know what is he able to do with such charms. However, I shouldn’t get my hopes up. He is going to leave in a couple of days and my heart will be broken for nothing… I don’t even know if there is a Mrs. Schultz in the first place?! I’m so dumb… Even if he didn’t have a wife, I’m sure he wouldn’t like to have anything with me…  Just as my mind gets to that last thought he comes back, smiling like the cute dork he is.

“Give me your hand, bitte.” He says while sitting on the edge of my table, one leg hanging, one on the floor. (SIR! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I’M WEAK!) “This is not going to hurt, you don’t have to be so tense.” King comments, as if it was so easy! To calm my nerves I just try to distract myself with a little small talk, maybe I can kill two birds with one shot. 

“So, King… I know you are leaving in a couple of days, but you seem to be a very interesting person” the most interesting person I’ve ever met, in fact “and I want to know you a little bit better. Is that ok?” He smiles so widely that I can see both of his rows of teeth. 

“Natürlich, ja! But you have to tell me something about yourself as well, liebling.”

“It’s a deal then!”

“I wanted to ask you about this double life you seem to have…” King says and stops, maybe not knowing what to say next, perhaps thinking about how to phrase it. “Do you have money problems?” I am a bit scared of that question, but I can see where is coming from.

“I have…” I say with hesitation. “ However, my main job is this one, I take pride on being a teacher but the salary here is not the best, so I decided to look for another job.”

“That’s a very sacrificed thing to do… I admire you Clara.” I blush to that compliment and I joke a bit.

“You just met me so… Causing a first good impression: check.” I say while I make a ‘tick’ with my other hand.

“You caused the very best first impression, if you allow me to compliment you some more.” 

“Just if I can compliment you as well...” I say and he chuckles. 

“I am a bit shy, I like better to compliment than to be complimented actually…”

“That is because you have never been complimented by me!” I laugh and he flushes, a lot. “Did I say something…?”

“No, it’s fine… What is it that you wanted to ask?” He changes the subject, but I don’t forget that I will have to compliment him later, even if he combusts. 

“I just wanted to know something about you… I just know that you are a bounty hunter and a dentist, that’s it.”

“Oh well, let me delight you with a German tale then…” he begins “I was born in Düsseldorf, you don’t need to know the year.” I chuckle “I practiced dentistry for some years, I got married-” I hold my breath… I knew it… “but” he pauses, looking extremely sad “she died a long time ago, of a fever.”

“King, I’m so so sorry…” I say, genuinely, tears forming in my eyes, I hate to see him this heartbroken.

“No worries dear, we Germans think positively about death. I still think about her a lot, but I know she is in a better place and that she wanted me to be happy.” He smiles a bit, but I can still see sadness in his eyes. So I smile back and put my other hand on his. “Well, after that, I moved to America with my brother, and we both became bounty hunters. We hated slavery and we wanted to do something about it.” I just gasp to give a bit of a dramatic effect and he laughs, but the sadness isn’t gone. “Sadly, my brother was killed while we tried to help a couple of slaves that were trying to get to the north…” I just stayed in silence, he knew what I wanted to say, my hand just stayed on his and squeezed it a bit, tears now rolling down my cheeks. “And now I travel from state to state collecting bounties. I think that’s it, for now…” He says, in an exhale.

“I wanted to complement you later, but allow me to do it now…” 

“Clara, I-”

“Please…” He stays silent, and nods. 

“I just wanted to say that…” I hold my breath a bit, trying not to cry, unsuccessfully. “You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met. I’ve just known you for a day and I realised instantly that no matter the issue, no matter the problem, you are there to help.” He lowers his head. “I appreciate you so much… and I’m so happy I got to meet you. I will thank the universe everyday for that.” He squeezes my hand, and then looks up. His eyes are shiny because of the tears forming.

“You were right… I just had to be complimented by you.” I smile. “Thank you, Liebling. I-”

As he is about to say something all the kids enter the room and stare at us with curious eyes, holding hands, looking each other in the eyes.

“Miss, is he your husband?” Says little Sheryl, and I just start to panic.

“NO, OF COURSE NOT!” King looks at me with a grin on his face and with a slight blush. “I mean- He is just a friend…” And then I got a mischievous idea “In fact! Dr. Schultz is a dentist that has come here today to explain you all about your teeth and how to take care of them.” As words come out from my mouth, King turns his head to look at me very slowly and in the end murmurs something like “I hate you” and I murmur back “No, you don’t” and I go sit down with the kids with a very big smile as King stays alone at the front of the class. 

King starts to explain, he seems to be a little bit nervous, maybe he has never talked to children like this, the look in his face is priceless. As time passes he actually starts getting confident and explaining some interesting stuff I don’t know about. I get happy every time he looks at me and smiles. I try to cherish every bit of information that leaves his lips. I think I’m actually getting turned on by this…

“And I think that is all I have to teach you, Professor Valle, is there anything else I should say?” He gets me by surprise, as I was looking at his lips, but I stand up as quick as a spring.

“No, I think that’s it. Did you enjoy the lesson?” I say, looking at my students and they all nod or say “yes”. “Then that’s it for the day, remember to do your homework, on Monday I will be checking it.”

As the students leave I get close to King and he looks at me. We start talking at the same time.

“I-”

“I-”

“You first.” He says.

“I want to thank you for this, and I’m sorry for putting you in this situation. I really enjoyed your lesson, I feel like I’ve learned a lot.” I say, still my eyes looking shyly at his lips.

“I was going to say that I really liked the experience. At first I was quite worried and cursing you a bit, but I ended up liking it.” My eyes turn to his.

“I’m very glad! You truly have a way with words…”

“Danke!” I quickly go back to where the students’ tables are, sit on one of them and raise my hand. “Yes? The pretty lady of the first row. What’s your question?” He said I’m pretty? Oh Lord… I’m actually quite hot and this isn’t helping so I unbutton the first three buttons of my blouse, he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Yes, I actually wanted to ask about the sensibility of the teeth. When I clean them, sometimes they bleed. Is that normal? Because I think is not…”

“It is actually quite normal. It is your gums that bleed, maybe you brush them too hard, but if you have not complained about it before, I guess that they aren’t inflamed. I could also take a look at them, if you want.”

“I couldn’t- I- I mean you have done so much for me and-” I stutter.

“It’s fine, really, it’s my job… well one of them.”

“Fine, but I will pay you.” And I stare so hard that I think he gets scared because he agrees to me paying him, even though I don’t have any money.

KING’S POV:

We arrive to my carriage and Clara goes directly towards Fritz. 

“What’s his name? I’ve been wondering about it all day!” She says while petting Fritz, that lucky Bastard.

“His name is Fritz, and he is the most loyal companion one could ever ask for.”

“Awww! That’s so adorable! I love him, he’s so friendly!” Clara kisses Fritz’s head and I think I’m about to lose it. 

I take out all the equipment to the alley, including the chair for the patients. I offer Clara the seat as if we were in a fancy restaurant.

“Oh, thank you so much. What a gentleman!” I smile a bit and then I get sad, thinking that this might be the only time I get to do this for her.

“Ok, let’s see if there is anything wrong in here.” I put some gloves, grab my tools and ask her to open her mouth, I suddenly freeze. Is that how she looks when-? King! Control yourself! You are a gentleman, she said so herself. I get a grip on myself and I start examining her mouth. She has pretty good teeth, not exactly white, but with signs that she sometimes smokes. it doesn’t seem frequent though. Also her inner cheeks have bite marks, she must be a pretty nervous person. 

Just as I finish checking her mouth I take notice that three of her blouse buttons are open and... I can see her undergarment, it’s shiny and white, and a bit of her breasts… I try to breathe normally, but it is actually quite difficult…

CLARA’S POV:

Why is he breathing faster? The faster he breaths the quicker my heart gets… Suddenly I realise that I’m getting a bit cold on my chest and I see that I still have my blouse open… He- he is looking at my… I then take notice of his hair and beard moving a bit because of a slight breeze. He looks so sexy in that vest… I couldn’t bring myself to call him ‘sexy’ until now, but that is exactly what he is, he is even more than that.

I just get lost in his features, first his eyes, his nose, then his cheeks and finally his mouth. I stay there, looking at this pure ball of positivity. He seems to notice my eyes, wandering. King stays still, dentist tools still in my mouth, and returns the look. I feel his eyes looking not only at my face, but also my whole body. I feel exposed, but also safe. I want to be feel vulnerable, only if it’s him who makes me feel that way. He takes the tools out of my mouth, but we are still silent, looking at each other. The colours of his eyes are mixing into something darker, filled with what I can only infer is desire, and I can’t stop myself from biting my lower lip, trying to restrain the sounds that want to come out of me. He gets closer to my mouth, as if he is looking for something in it. Maybe something that makes sense, probably something that tells him to stop. However, before he retreats or changes his mind I push myself up from the chair a bit and kiss him. I can feel in his lips that there is a confrontation inside of him, but I just close my eyes, caress gently his face with my hands, and I try to tell him through my kiss that everything is ok. It takes a bit, but he gives up to it.

He grabs one of my cheeks with one hand, and the back of my head with the other and kisses me passionately. My hands go down to his neck and I can’t stop myself from grabbing his shirt collar with both hands, which makes him get closer. His beard and moustache tickle my face. I giggle into the kiss a bit and he lets go. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you? I shouldn’t have-”

“King! It’s ok. It was just your beard, it tickles a bit. I really want this…”

“Are you sure? I’m old and, and you are beautiful and-” My heart skips a bit. He is still on top of me but he is looking away. My hands go back to his cheeks and make him look at me. 

“I really want this… I fact, I thought that you didn’t want it, that I wasn’t attractive enough...”

“Liebling… Listen. You are beautiful, no matter what. I am in fact attracted to you in a way I had never felt before, but I don’t want you to waste your time with someone like me…”

“I am more attracted to you than to anyone, ever. You have this magnetism that pulls me to you. Again, I’ve just known you for a day, but I can tell that you feel it too.”

“I do… guess what I want to do to you now…”

“I-”

Before the words leave my mouth, he takes them on his. He becomes and extension of my breath, wet and needy. 

I can tell that he is getting tired of this position, so I push his chest backwards with one hand and stand from the chair and I lead him into the wall of the school building. My arms are on both sides of his head and he looks at me, not scared, just eager. So when I kiss him again he grabs my hips and shifts our positions. Now I am the one pushed against the wall. With both of his hands he grabs mine (not my wrists because of the injure) and pins me to the wall, with my arms of top of my head. King’s carriage is hiding us from the street, but I can still hear people walking and talking, not that far away from us. As the kiss gets even more passionate I open my mouth a bit. I try to hold a moan when he slides his tongue in, as if he knew what I was about to do, quieting me up. One of his hands leaves mine and goes directly to my ass, grabbing it tightly. An impulse makes me rise my leg up and put it on his back, which makes him be a lot closer to me. He is so close to me in fact, that I can feel a bulge starting to form in his pants. If I was getting wet earlier during the lesson, now I feel a river. With my free hand I grab King’s hair, his hat falling to the ground. As I mess with his hair our lips part. He takes advantage that my blouse is a bit open. His mouth goes to the spot where my neck joins my shoulder and starts kissing there. To repress a moan, my mouth goes to to his left ear and I start to bite his lobe. I can tell he is liking it because he starts to bite instead of kissing… this is going to leave a mark. 

Just as King’s hand leaves my ass and starts to lift up my skirt we hear someone’s steps approaching, so we quickly separate, both sweaty and breathless. 

“Miss Valle, I’m so sorry. I forgot my book on the table, could you please open the school?” A worried Sheryl pleads, she does not seem to notice how messy we look.

“Yeah, of course.” As I go to reunite with Sheryl to help her recover her book my eyes go back to look at him. King is getting his hat from the floor and smiling, once again, like the precious dork he is. 

When I get back to King, he is trimming his moustache and I’m once again alone with him. He looks a bit disappointed and the air feels tense around him. However, I try my best to act calm and collected. 

“I’m back, I’m so sorry for the interruption-” I cannot even finish, once again he is kissing me only this time he is much more gentle.

“Sheesh! I cannot restrain myself around you, can I?” King says, smirking. I cannot stop myself from laughing.

“You silver tongued devil you! You still haven’t invited me to a cup of joe!” I joke, and he laughs too. 

“I don’t know what we are waiting for then.” He offers me his arm and suddenly I remember.

“King, the tavern is closed…” He stops, and looks at me very slowly. 

“I… I forgot about that, sorry…”

“It’s ok, I also forgot but” I pause dramatically “I got some coffee at home, would you like to come in for a cup?”

“Just if I can kiss you all night long…”

“That is one of the requirements for you to enter my home again, don’t you worry, it was part of my plan.”

“Is there more to your plan, Liebich?” King asks, his eyes locked in mine.

“Why don’t you try to guess?”

[cillianmurphy]

ocean eyes

I wrote this small story a few weeks ago and the response @robertdowneys​ gave me made me cry so I am putting it here under cut. It is, obviously, based on Billie’s ‘Ocean Eyes’ (bold are song lyrics) and is my first piece of creative writing after 2.5 years, so if u have feedback pls let me know. It’s gender neutral btw <3 I am very nervous to put my writing out here and I can only hope whoever reads it, likes it <3

warning: extreme fluff, sad ending (death tw)

best read on desktop bc of post formatting!

-

I've been watching you  For some time

It was as if time stood still. Under the dazzling lights on the ceiling, also named the starry sky, you slowly moved throughout the crowd. With every step, people moved aside to let you pass through them. Seconds seemed like hours as you approached the person who had caught your eyes years before.  

Four years.

It had been four long years since your now betrothed caught your attention. You don’t know when your feelings for them had surfaced, but you did know they had your heart from the day you met them. For years you wished they would return the feelings you held for them. It was a drunkenness of the soul. You swore nothing came close to the feeling of being in love with the one person who would hold the key to your soul for the rest of eternity. An addiction was nothing compared to the feeling of being in love; it was intoxication.  

Can't stop staring At those oceans eyes

You don’t know why you fell in love with them. Maybe it was because of their courage, their loving heart or maybe that smile. That damned smile. Love works in mysterious ways and you don’t think you would ever know what exactly made you fall helplessly for your other half. They turned your dreams into reality; made your heart feel things you could not begin to comprehend. Your souls were tied to one another with a fierce grip, incapable of letting go of each other for even a second.  

As you approached your lover, you took a moment to take in their beauty. They were smiling gently, a smile reserved for you and you only. The tiny dimples at the edge of their lips, luscious and full. The lights of the ballroom glistened in their eyes; pinpricks of the gold above dancing in an orderly fashion.  

Those eyes.

They were beautiful beyond belief. The way the world reflected in them; you swore it made your knees weak. The colours of the iris mixed in the most exquisite way possible, caught your attention and pulled you in whenever you sneaked a glance towards your lover. It should be a criminal offence to have such mesmerising eyes, you thought. They held you captive and even if you were able to pull away, you didn’t want to. You wanted to get lost in them for hours on end.

And now, maybe now you knew why you fell in love with them in the first place. Their eyes were the windows to their soul, and they captivated you from the first glance, holding you hostage. They were the last thing you saw when you slept and the first when you woke up. When you looked in them, you saw forever. You sought comfort, love, peace in their dazzling eyes. They soothed you, words were rarely necessary.  

It was their eyes you fell in love with. And then the rest of them followed.

Burning cities And napalm skies

They held out their hand, waiting for yours. Slowly, you lifted your hand up to meet theirs and a shock of electricity went through your body. It was if your entire life with your fiancé flashed past your eyes. The good, the bad. Everything you had experienced with them, came back to you in the most intoxicating fashion. You remembered the moments where you woke up next to them, the peaceful mornings. How they dragged you off on adventures you could not begin to imagine before they took place. How you forced them to see the lighter side of life and stuck by them through the bad times, as they did for you.

Alas, life isn’t just full of good times. Like any relationship, bad times had fallen on you as well. Life isn’t always exquisite roses, sometimes it is thorns as well. Unfortunately, all love and hope could be ripped apart when you experienced just one inconvenience. It pained you to even admit it but you two had come so close to losing one another due to general stubbornness. It scared you, losing them. They were your better half, the person who had your heart and would own it for the rest of eternity. And you were theirs. You could not afford to lose one another, because once you did, there would be a gaping void in your soul, unable to be filled by even the most priceless of treasures.

Because they were your most priceless treasure, as you were theirs.  

Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes Your ocean eyes

‘Y’know … all these people are staring at us and we both know we can’t dance.’

You scoffed at their words, but they were true. Weeks of dance practice had gone by, yet it was as if you forgot all you had been taught. In your defence it wasn’t your fault, you were just reeling at the feeling of your lover’s touch on your skin. The feather light touch of their fingers gently held your waist in place whilst their arm was snaked around you. The other hand stroked your cheek with the utmost care, as if you were a porcelain doll that could break at the slightest touch. Their touch made every rational thought within you bubble away and all you could possibly focus on was them.

Only them.

Nothing else was needed. Even in the crowded ballroom, it was just you and them against the world. Whisking you through the room, they twirled you away from them, yet you were still so close. All that time, their eyes on yours. Nothing else mattered. It was just the two of you, and that’s the way it was meant to be. 

No fair You really know how to make me cry When you gimme those ocean eyes

This was supposed to be a happy day. A happy day, without any feelings of sadness. But if it was so happy, why were you crying, your lover thought. Did they do something wrong? Did they accidentally step on your feet whilst dancing? Damn it, they knew they should’ve gotten the shoes that didn’t have a sturdy heel. Another tear slipped from your eye and they wiped it away with their sleeve, looking into your eyes and voicing the concerns they had, without words.

‘I’m fine, I just,’

An unsteady gasp crossed your lips as your chest shook. You were unable to keep your tears from falling. You felt yourself stop moving and warm hands placed themselves on your cheeks, their nose rubbing yours. You felt them wipe your tears away as they held you close. More sobs wracked your body and you shuddered in their touch. They were so warm, so why on earth did you feel so cold? Their eyes, those eyes, looked down at you in worry and you felt so selfish. They thought they had done something wrong when it was the complete opposite.

They could do no wrong. They were your angel, sent down from the heavens. Well, a faulty angel, but an angel, nonetheless.  

‘I never thought I would have this moment. And feel so loved.’ you stated, looking up at them. And it was true. You never thought you were capable of being loved in the way you were now. The insecurities piled up over several years and though you tried to convince yourself you weren’t what others deemed you, you couldn’t help it.

Unlovable, ugly, not suitable.

They had taken their toll on you and you believed everything they said about you were true, until you met the person who convinced you that you were not. The person who currently held your hand with their larger one, kissing your knuckles lightly, their eyes not leaving yours. Their eyes brimmed with tears, as they knew what you were talking about in great detail. They knew every insecurity; every worry, and they’d be damned before they ever let you think about yourself in such a degrading way again.  

Grabbing your sides gently, they whisked you away again. The two of you danced for what felt like an eternity, until you stopped. They pulled you closer to them and tried to show all their love for you through their eyes. And you’d be a liar if you said they didn’t succeed.  

I'm scared I've never fallen from quite this high Falling into your ocean eyes Those ocean eyes

Everything would be alright. The rest of the night was spent in a blur, dancing to the gentle beat of the music, and most of it you spent staring into their eyes. They soothed you, made you calm down and made you feel so loved. Who needed ‘I love you’s’ in words when the same message could be conveyed through eyes? Eyes were the windows to the soul, and you saw your lover’s soul glistening through their eyes, and it was blinding; intoxicating. Those eyes told you that, yes, hard times would come and go, but good times would outnumber them. They comforted you and made you forget your insecurities and doubts. They made you feel whole; complete in unimaginable ways. A cluster of a thousand stars wouldn’t be able to generate the light and warmth that coursed through your body when you looked at their eyes.

Their ocean eyes.  

I've been walking through A world gone blind Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind

Good times don’t last. Surely everyone knew that? Life is unpredictable and so unfair. There were a multitude of awful people the world who could’ve been taken away. People who were a disgrace to humanity. People who did not deserve to walk the earth.

So why them?

Why the one person who had so much love to give and asked for nothing in return? Why the one person who made you feel loved and whole? Why them? Why?

The day your lover died in a car crash, your world died with it. There was no reason to live anymore. You always selfishly hoped that you would be the one to die first. That way you would not have to feel the pain of your soulmate dying.

And what a pain it was.

You had heard childbirth was the worst pain on earth. Every mother you met confirmed this. But this? Losing your loved one; your other half to such a cruel fate, was it really less of a pain than pushing a kid out?

It wasn’t, you concluded.  

Because that pain would ease and slowly become nothing. Not having the person you were dependant on, to love you anymore, to help you out of the dark void, it was a pain that tore at your soul, ripping it apart into hundreds of fragments, unable to be repaired.  

Careful creature Made friends with time He left her lonely with a diamond mind And those ocean eyes

‘You know I’ll never leave you sweetheart.’ They once said, after you voiced your concerns. Your initial fears, that you were unlovable, had risen again and you had been harbouring those feelings for so long. At one point you were scared that they would see you for the broken person you were and realise they were wrong in loving you.

‘Promise?’ You sniffled, extending your pinky finger towards them. They laughed, what a beautiful laugh and nodded, wrapping their finger around yours and what they said next made you laugh at their fandom references, which were in abundance.  

‘Pinky promise meleth nin.’  

--

They lied, you sobbed. They lied. They promised they wouldn’t leave you but here you were, gaping hole in your heart. Nothing would ever soothe the pain you felt, for only they could, but they left. They broke their promise. Why was life so cruel? It was a curse to be left on this cold earth, so empty of love after their departure. Your soul broke in two every day and you tried, oh you tried to soothe yourself by thinking of the one thing that soothed you all those years before.

Their ocean eyes.

END

Note: meleth nin means ‘my love’ in elvish (hobbit reference)

[lovedsammy]

half light; sam/cas [commission for @avalonsilver]

Commission for my good friend @avalonsilver! The request was for a fic where the alternate, past!Castiel from 14.13 is brought back (by Chuck), pissed that Sam banished him and out to get revenge for it. He attacks Sam, and our Cas comes to his rescue. But to save Sam, Cas needs to take the grace of this other Castiel. The kicker? If he does, he will forget Sam, Dean, and everyone else he’s ever known. So Cas is faced with the choice: does he save Sam’s life, or choose to forget him, at the expense of Sam’s safety?

This is pre-established Sastiel (kinda; they’re figuring things out!), and takes place after 15.09. So kind of spoilery if you don’t know anything about the upcoming ep (hint: Sam is stuck with Chuck. This fic takes place after he gets away from him). 

(I totally listened to ‘Half Light’ by Banners during this btw, just fyi!)

-

Castiel lands like a fiery meteor upon the earth, dumped on the ground in an unceremonious heap. It’s undignified for an angel, he thinks, completely unbecoming. The first thing he registers is annoyance at the current state of his vessel. The clothing and hair is in disarray, and he smells of smoke. The next is righteous anger that the insignificant little human that was Sam Winchester had caused this. Castiel had only heard of him up until now, the boy with the demon blood. In some way, the angel guesses he’d been somewhat fascinated with the idea of the man who’d been born to become Lucifer’s true vessel. Meeting him had dissolved that fascination all together. The boy had no idea of his place. He’d used his tainted blood to send Castiel away, had weaponized it against Heaven and all it stood for. Zachariah would not be pleased, were he still alive. But he wasn’t, because Sam Winchester had killed him. 

The boy was going to be a bigger problem than he was worth. He had somehow disrupted the natural timeline and caused the deaths of angels with seemingly no regard for the consequences. So Castiel would make him understand, make him pay for the transgressions he’d committed against Heaven. He’d make Sam Winchester revere him, bow to him, and learn his place before he died. 

And if Dean Winchester tried to interfere, well - he’d learn, too. Heaven needed Dean alive and cooperative - they never said anything about unharmed.

Castiel searches for Sam’s current location, fixating on his presence, and detects it about 1,568 miles from where he is.

He takes off in a rapid flap of wings. 

-

Sam needed some fresh air. 

After escaping Chuck’s clutches, his brother was holding his hand a little too tightly when it came to readmission into the outside world. They hadn’t gone out for over a week, and if Sam tried to go for a run, it was always with Dean - or Cas, at Dean’s request - accompanying him. It was incredibly frustrating, the constant chaperoning. But Sam understood the reason for Dean’s current bout of overprotectiveness -- he was worried about Chuck nabbing him again. But it wasn’t like Chuck couldn’t get into the bunker and haul Sam off from there if he’d really wanted to. And Sam couldn’t just stay locked up inside forever.

“I need to get out, Dean,” He’d said, exasperated, when he brought the issue up to his brother. “We all do. God’s not gonna stop just because we’re hibernating inside. If he wants to get at me, he’s gonna get at me. I’m done hiding. I’m going for a grocery run, because frankly, man, I need some actual food and not the junk we’ve been gorging on all week.”

Cas had looked up from the book he was skimming through. “Sam’s right, Dean,” He agreed. “He can’t stay locked up in here. Neither can you. I can go with him, if that makes you feel better.”

Sam could tell that Dean wasn’t fully comfortable with the idea, but after a long moment, he’d nodded. “Yeah, all right,” He relented. “I’m sorry, Sammy, for breathing down your neck. You’re right. I know it’s stupid. It’s just… let Cas go with you, okay? Please? Just for now, just until…” 

Sam sighed, but the extent of Dean’s concern admittedly made his heart swell. “Okay, yeah,” He’d agreed. He enjoyed Cas’s company, and wouldn’t mind him tagging along, if even just to appease Dean. So he’d nodded at Cas, who’d jerked up instantly and come over to his side. 

“We’ll be back before you know it,” Sam had assured his brother, patting him comfortingly on the shoulder.

- 

It wasn’t often that Sam kept the windows rolled down when he drove, but tonight, he does. He breathes in the mild night air, inhaling leisurely. It feels refreshing after the long period inside. Cas glances over at him, lips twitching. 

“It’s about to rain,” The angel says conversationally. “I can taste it.” 

Sam laughs. “Really? And what does rain taste like to an angel? For me, it just tastes like water.”

Cas hums, thinking it over. “It’s hard to describe. It has a very strong earthy taste. Not like dirt, but… if air had a smell to it. It’s atmospheric, a mixture of gases that you are unable to taste, much less identify. Your mind recognizes it as water because it is unable to reach the capacity for beyond that.”

“Huh,” Sam says, intrigued.

He always learned so many interesting things when Cas was around, like the difference in biology between a human and an angel, for instance. Dean made fun of them for the late night class sessions, calling it ‘getting their geek on.’ Sam and Cas would roll their eyes simultaneously, and then head off hand in hand ,just to annoy Dean, to Sam’s room to binge more Netflix. The affronted look they got from Dean made it worth it every time. 

They finally arrive at the grocery store and get various breakfast, lunch, and dinner items, plus pie for Dean. It’s as he’s paying for the purchase that Sam gets the first inclination that something isn’t right - he feels like he’s being watched. A chill goes up his spine and he blinks, looking around, startled. Cas gives him an inquisitive look, but Sam just smiles at him. He was probably just being paranoid. Perhaps subconsciously, Sam on some level was worried about Chuck, too. Thanks, Dean, he thinks wryly. It’s contagious.

When they enter back out to the parking lot, the sensation is there again, stronger than before. Sam shakes his head as if to clear it, coming to an abrupt stop. No, something was definitely…. 

“Sam? What is it?” 

“I don’t know,” Sam murmurs. “I keep thinking…there’s someone. It feels like….” He trails off, looking at Cas.

Cas is instantly on alert. “Is it Chuck?” 

“I don’t know, I…” 

A sudden blast erupts around them and Castiel goes flying half-way across the parking lot, ejected high into the air before landing loud and painfully onto the hood of a car.

“Cas!” 

Sam makes to run to him, when a figure manifests before him and Sam’s stomach lurches. “W-What…?” 

It’s... Castiel. 

Sam’s confused beyond all hell. He opens his mouth to speak when Cas quickly seizes him, pinning him against the car with a hand clamped around his throat. Sam squirms under the pressure, trying to get free.

 “Cas? What the hell?” 

“Be silent.” The angel snarls. “Heaven has allowed you to exist, Sam Winchester, when we could reduce you to dust whenever we should choose. You are an abomination on the highest level, just as Lucifer.” He leans forward, closer to Sam, and sniffs. “You reek of it, the blood that Azazel has tainted you with. Your soul itself is smeared.” 

Sam’s choking on the painful grip, not understanding what’s happening, why Castiel is attacking him, or saying such things. The angel uses his other hand to pull at Sam’s hair, forcing his head up. 

“You are going to learn to show me respect, abomination. You are going to grovel at my feet, at Heaven’s feet, and beg for forgiveness. I will embed the price of your sin into you as you beg for death.” He removes the hand from Sam’s throat only to redirect it into the younger Winchester’s face. The back of Sam’s head collides with the side window, and he groans loudly. Castiel continues the assault, dragging Sam forward and shoving him head first through the windshield, pieces of glass flying everywhere, jagged edges cutting into Sam’s flesh. He falls to the pavement with a gasp, trying and failing to fight the angel off of him. 

“Cas, stop,” He says weakly, holding up his hands. “It’s me.” He remembers now. This was the Castiel that he and Dean faced in the alternate timeline, when their father had returned. But they’d fixed that, hadn’t they? Sam had banished him… 

“My name is Castiel, and you will address me as such.” Castiel growls, standing over him. “How dare you refer to me with such a condescending name, speaking of me with familiarly, as if we know each other.” 

“We do,” Sam insists around a mouthful of blood. “Cas, please, you’re my friend, you’re --” 

“Sam!”

Sam raises his head to see Castiel, the real Castiel, his friend and whatever they were now, running towards him, eyes wide and angel blade clutched in his hand. 

The other Castiel stares at him in shock. “You… you’re….?” 

“I’m Castiel,” The real Cas snaps. “As are you. We are one and the same. I’ve heard of you. You’re me, but from the past. You’re who I was before I met the incredible man that you seem to take pleasure in manhandling. I don’t know how you got here, or what you’ve been led to believe, but it’s a lie. Sam is my friend, and I do not appreciate the harm you are dealing to him. So let him go.” He brandishes the blade threateningly, taking a step forward. “Now.” 

The other Cas’s eyes narrow. “What has happened to you?” He demands. “You have befriended the taint of Heaven? You offer him protection? How far have you fallen? You and I are not the same. The mission, our mission, was to stop Sam Winchester, and offer Dean Winchester the sanctuary of Heaven. Our mission was to inspire the brothers Winchester to start the Apocalypse, and become the Vessels.” 

“That mission was a farce,” Castiel replies tersely. “It was orchestrated by Heaven, not because our Father commanded it. Castiel, you should know this. How many times have you, have I, have we questioned Heaven’s objectives? How many times have we been reprogrammed by our superiors for doing so?” 

The other Cas looks confused now. “Reprogrammed?” 

“Yes,” Castiel says impatiently. “Your head, just as mine, has been washed clean over and over. Do you know why? Because of our love for humanity. Our love for the man before you that you insist on submitting to your will. You do not know him, Castiel, not truly. Not yet. But you will. And who you are now is who I once was. Who I am now is who you will become.” 

Perplexed, the alternate Castiel’s eyebrows furrow, and the pressure on Sam’s hair decreases slightly. “Heaven’s will is absolute. I don’t understand.” 

“I know you don’t,” Castiel says almost gently, beginning to approach further. “Believe me, I didn’t for a long time. But you have been deceived. I am not your enemy. And neither is Sam Winchester.” 

Sam watches the pair of them, hardly daring to breathe. He didn’t remember past Castiel being this aggressive about Heaven’s commandments. Something was off, more than the other Cas being brainwashed to obey without contention. Even while it was true that the other Cas had beat the shit out of him, it’d been robotic and without any feelings involved. He wants to voice this, but as he looks up at the alternate version of his friend, the hateful look he gets makes him go pale. 

The grip on his head is back in full force, and Sam cries out. The other Castiel’s eyes are aglow in blue. “No,” The angel growls. “Sam Winchester is Heaven’s enemy, and therefore he is mine. He has to die here and now. Stand down, and I may choose to let you continue existing in this current time.”

“No!” Terror grips Castiel and he surges forward, ready to attack.  

“Ah, don’t you just love crossovers?”

The new voice makes everyone pause, and Sam’s heart stutters. Oh no....  

“Chuck.” Cas declares, eyes flashing dangerously. “What are you doing here?” 

Chuck raises a hand. “Relax. Just catching the newest episode of my favorite show. And oh man, what a show! Two Castiel’s? Sam Winchester caught between them? Not exactly my cup of tea, this would be more up Becky’s alley for a slash fic, but, hey! When life gives you lemons, right?” He smiles wide, nodding at the other Cas. “Well, what are you waiting for? Kill him already.”

The other Castiel hauls Sam painfully up to his knees, going for his throat again, the force of his grip so strong that it makes Sam’s eyes almost bulge out of his head. 

“N-No..” 

“Don’t you dare!” Cas yells, striding forward again. “Don’t make me kill you. Let him go!” 

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Chuck says easily, amused. “There’s no point trying to reason with this Castiel. See, I made him for this very purpose. I kind of played around with his machinery a bit. This version of you is not going to protest against Heaven’s orders. There’s no crack in his chassis. This Castiel will do whatever I ask him to. He has no emotional attachment to Sam, unlike you.” 

Sam stares blearily at him through his fringe. Of course he was behind this. Blood is pouring from his mouth and nose, and he thinks his arm may be broken. “Cas,” He wheezes. 

The fear in Sam’s voice and the fact that he’s turning a dark shade of red makes Cas finally act. He closes his eyes, hating what he must do, but knowing there was no choice, not if it meant saving Sam. “I’m sorry.” He plunges the angel blade as far as it will go into the other Castiel. 

But there’s no reaction. No sign of pain, nor blinding light. He was still standing, still alive. But it’s effective - the grip on Sam lessens slightly, enough that he can get some oxygen back into his aching lungs. The other Cas twitches his wrist, flinging Castiel backward and back to the ground again. 

“Killing him isn’t gonna work,” Chuck continues as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “There’s only one way to stop him, Cas. You need to take from him what Metatron once took from you. Then you can save Sam. But!” He holds up a finger, smirking, as Cas clambors back to his feet. “Before you decide to spring forward to help him, you may want to think about this. To save Sam, you’ll need to take the other you’s grace. But if you take his grace… there’s going to be some, ah, adverse side effects, we should say. You will forget Sam. You’ll forget Dean. You’ll forget your son, Jack. You’ll lose them, all memory of them, and who you are now. Tell me, is saving Sam really worth that to you?” 

Castiel pauses as Chuck’s words sink in, feeling helpless. He didn’t want to forget them, his friends, or Jack. He didn’t want to forget Sam, and his love for him. He didn’t want to lose himself, to go back to being the unfeeling warrior standing before him. Everything he was now was because of Sam and Dean, and his love for them. 

“Cas,” Sam calls out urgently. “Cas, don’t do it. Don’t lose yourself, not for me.”

Castiel looks at Sam and can hardly believe that he’s real. Such a beautiful creature this man was, so loving and selfless and irreplaceable. The world would never recover from losing Sam Winchester. There was no contender. Sam could never ask Castiel to sacrifice him for the sake of himself. 

The decision was made before Chuck had even really given him the choice. He’d choose Sam every time. Cas can tell that Sam knows, sees the weight of the realization on the younger Winchester’s face, the way his eyes widen. 

“No. No, no, Cas, don’t.”  

“Didn’t I tell you once before, Sam?” Cas smiles resolutely. “Nothing is worth losing you.” 

Effortlessly, he brings the blade forward and swings. It glides horizontally across the other Castiel’s throat, slitting it in half. Cas doesn’t wait to watch the life leave his counterpart’s eyes before he opens his mouth and swallows the brilliant white glow whole. 

He thinks he hears Chuck laughing behind him, but ignores it. The sensation of the grace fills him up, and he can feel them slipping - his memories. His emotions. He tries to cling to them still, those precious fleeting moments in his long, long life. It’s terrifying, the way they start to slip away. “No, no,” He whispers. “Come back. Please, don’t…” 

“Cas… Cas…” 

Cas feels Sam’s hands on his face, sees his brilliant hazel eyes staring back at him. Sam looks terrified, guilty, heartbroken. Cas wishes to calm him, even in the depth of his own fear. He raises a finger to swipe the tear on Sam’s cheek away. 

“It’s all right, Sam,” Cas tells him. 

Sam shakes his head. An instant later, he’s pressing his lips to Castiel’s, and the connection it creates is beautiful. If this is how he’s going to forget the man that he loves, then perhaps it’s not so bad. Cas waits, but nothing’s happening. It all stops. Sam is still kissing him, more passionately now, and Cas lets himself get lost in the feeling of Sam’s lips on his own. The memories that Castiel could feel slipping before are suddenly at the forefront of his mind. 

“No!” Chuck shouts, drawing both of their attention enough to break the kiss. “Damn it, this wasn’t supposed to happen.” He looks furious, put out, and vanishes into the night.

Sam whips his head around to look back at Cas just as the sky opens up and rain descends upon them. “Cas? Cas, are you…?”

“I’m fine,” Cas says in disbelief. “I still remember, Sam. I remember everything.” He presses two experimental fingers to Sam’s forehead and easily heals the damage. “And I’m fully me again.”

Sam laughs in pure elation, resting his forehead against Cas’s as the rain seeps under their clothes and onto their skin. 

[espejonight28738]

The Destiel Story (A Playlist)

Merry Christmas! Here’s my gift to y'all. I made a chronological playlist of destiel, and I’ll explain each song on by one. Or if you aren’t interested in reading that much (3) HERE you have the spotify playlist :)

Tagging: @verobatto-angelxhunter @agusvedder @legendary-destiel Happpy Holidays :3

04×01/04×06 Infra-red -Three Days Grace Just getting to know each other

Everyone’s living in black and white We see each other in a different light That’s why I look at you like I do Like nobody else is even in the room [...] In Infra-red The heat and the light and the way you move Like nobody else is in the room If you fall into me, I fall into you I see you, I see you

04×07/04×20 You Found Me - The Fray In 04×07 we have the whole “I’ll tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul”, so trust begins to flourish here.

Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Why’d you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me

04×21/ 05×03 - Angel With a Shotgun - The Cab You know, rebel against heaven and everything you ever believed for a friend. It’s casual.

They say before you start a war You better know what you’re fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be I’m an angel with a shotgun Fighting til’ the wars won I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don’t you know you’re everything I have? And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight

04×05 - Stoned on You - James Young I was about to put Toxic, but I think that joke’s been made to many times already.

Girl, I get stoned on you Rubbing my bones on you (yeah) Nothing else burns like you do (no) Oh Lord, I get stoned on you, oh Stoned!

05×05/22×05 - Dangerous Night - Imagine Dragons Does it happen to y'all that you are trying to stop The Apocalypse, but you keep having gay thoughts about your angel? Annoying, I know

What a dangerous night to fall in love Don’t know why we still hide what we’ve become (oh, oh) Do you wanna cross the line? We’re runnin’ out of time A dangerous night to fall in love Started a stranger, a love endangered The edge of a night The face of an angel, the heart of a ghost Was it a dream?

Time Skip bewtwen s5/s6 Dare I Say - Alexander Rybak If only Cas had kept contact with Dean, I would be able to use Lips Of An Angel, but no, he had to go all MIA. But this song’s still good so. Cas POV, btw.

She doesn’t know that I’m thinking of her […] She makes me glad just by being alright Though I would wish that just for one night She would come back and again we’ll be friends Like those times where love never ends […] You said you love him the last time we met Please tell your boyfriend that I’m not a threat I know the difference between right and wrong […] But dare I say you are amazing in every way? And would you mind if we woke up with each other each day? But then I remember that I’m just a guy And still I keep dreaming of you ‘cause that’s all I can do

06×01/06×19 I’m Not An Angel - Halestorm Cas POV again. S6 is so angsty istg I had like 300 possibles songs for each of the following parts. 

You saw all the signs, but you let it go You closed your eyes […] Hate being that wall That you hit when you feel that you gave it all I keep taking the blame When we both know that I’ll never change […] I wasn’t always this way I used to be the one with the halo But that disappeared when I had my first taste And fell from grace and left me in this place

06×20 Set Fire To The Rain - Adele You can’t have a descent playlist without Adele, amirite? Dean’s POV this time. Poor baby really felt betrayed. The Man Who Would be King is probably one of my faves episodes tbh.

But there’s a side to you That I never knew, never knew All the things you’d say They were never true, never true And the games you play You would always win, always win […] I set fire to the rain And I threw us into the flames Well, it felt something died 'Cause I knew that that was The last time, the last time Sometimes I wake up by the door, That heart you caught must be waiting for you Even now when we’re already over I can’t help myself from looking for you

06×21/06×22 Angels - Within Temptation I love this song so much and it’s so destiel in these episodes I swear I can’t for how much it fits. Dean’s POV

Sparkling Angel, I believed You were my saviour, in my time of need Blinded by faith, I couldn’t hear, All the whispers, the warnings so clear […] You took my heart, deceived me right from the start You showed me dreams, I wish they’d turn into real You broke the promise and made me realize It was all just a lie

07×01/ 07×02 - What Have You Done - Within Temptation  I don’t know whose POV, but this song is so perfect I can’t believe no one has thought of this before.

Would you mind I kill you? Would you mind if I tried to? Cause you have Turn into my worst enemy You carry hate that I don’t feel. It’s over now, what have you done? (What have you done now?) I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you But now you are slipping away (What have you done now?) Why, why does fate make us suffer? There’s a curse between us Between me and you

07×03/07×16 Incomplete - Backstreet Boys And in this Dean Grieving Cas Pt.1, we have a little bit of denial and a lot of heart-brokenness.

I tried to go on like I never knew you I’m awake, but my world if hald asleep I pray for this heart to be unbroken But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete […] I don’t mean to drag it on But I can’t seem to let you go I don’t want to make you face this world alone I want to let you go

07×17 Taking Over Me - Evanescence The Born Again Identity. Dean’s POV. No more comments.

You don’t remember me, but I remember you I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do I believe in you I’ll give up everything just to find you I have to be with you to live to breathe You’re taking over me Have you forgotten all I know And all we had? You saw me mourning my love for you And touched my hand I knew you loved me then

07×18/07×22 Clarity - Zedd Is this a joke about Crazy!Cas? Maybe. But I think it’s mostly serious. Probably.

Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need Chasing relentlessly Still fight and I don’t know why If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy If our love’s insanity why are you my clarity

Purgatory - A Thousand Years - Christina Perry The Purgatory storyline makes me so emotional I love it so much and now we are going back and- If they don’t solve their problems so I can add Halo to this playlist then what’s even the fucking point.

How to be brave? How can I love when I’m afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone All of my doubt Suddenly goes away somehow One step closer I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more […] And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more

08×01/08×07 The Night We Met - Lord Huron Dean trying to deal with his feelings about leaving Cas behind, and his really platonic hallucinations.

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

08×08/08×16 Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye Dean’s POV hurting because Cas is acting strange and doesn’t respond to his prayers even after all they lived together in Purgatory.

But you didn’t have to cut me off Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing And I don’t even need your love But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough No, you didn’t have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records and then change your number I guess that I don’t need that though Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

08×17 Find my way back - Eric Arjes Cas finding his way to Dean even with Naomi’s brainwashing :D

On my way now Don’t give up on me And no one knows what What tomorrow brings These weary eyes will never rest Until they look in yours again […] There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do I’ll find my way back to you I’ll find my way back to you I’ll find my way back Into the dark to chase your heart No distance could ever tear us apart There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do I’ll find my way back to you

08×18/09×02 Hold On - Chord Overstreet Cas bailing on Dean -again-, and going AWOL -again-, and then saying he will close Heaven and probably die, or in the least never see each other again.

Loving and fighting Accusing, denying I can’t imagine a world with you gone The joy and the chaos, the demons we’re made of I’d be so lost if you left me alone […] I don’t wanna let go I know I’m not that strong I just wanna hear you Saying baby, let’s go home Let’s go home Yeah, I just wanna take you home Hold on, I still want you Come back, I still need you

09×03 To Good at Goodbyes - Sam Smith I won’t comment this chapter bc it still hurts me :) “You can’t stay”

I know you’re thinking I’m heartless I know you’re thinking I’m cold I’m just protecting my innocence I’m just protecting my soul […] But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry And every time you walk out, the less I love you Baby, we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true I’m way to good at goodbyes

09×06 Do I Wanna Know - Artic Monkeys This is POV both of them kinda, I don’t know how to explain it, it just gives me the vibe. An alternative to this if you like music in spanish, is “Ex de verdad” from Ha-Ash. I think that one is much funnier for the situation, but I decided for english only :(

Do I wanna know If this feelin’ flows both ways? (Sad to see you go) Was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay (Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made For sayin’ things that you can’t say tomorrow day Crawlin’ back to you Ever thought of callin’ when You’ve had a few? 'Cause I always do Maybe I’m too Busy bein’ yours To fall for somebody new Now, I’ve thought it through Crawlin’ back to you

09×07/09×23 I Would Do Anything For Love - Meat Loaf “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love. With Humanity.”

As long as the planets are turning As long as the stars are burning As long dreams are coming true You’d better believe it, that I would do Anything for love Oh I would do anything for love Oh I would do anything for love

10×01/ 10×03 My Demons - Starset This is completely serious. I swear.

Take me over the walls below Fly forever Don’t let me go I need a savior to heal my pain When I become my worst enemy The enemy […] Take me high and I’ll sing Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay) We are one in the same Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away) Save me if I become My demons

10×04 /10×22 No Rest -Dry the River A.K.A time for the angsty parallel Cain/Colette & Dean/Cas

Did you see the light in my heart? Did you see the sweat on my brow? Did you see the fear in my heart? Did you see me bleeding out? I loved you in the best I loved you in the best way possible I loved you in the best way possible I loved you in the best way possible I loved you in the best

10×23 /11×10 Next to Me - Imagine Dragons -I almost killed you bc of the Mark of Cain and then you almost killed me with Rowena’s spell but still here we are.

Oh, I always let you down You’re shattered on the ground But still I find you there Next to me And oh, stupid things I do I’m far from good, it’s true But still I find you Next to me

11×11/11×22 If You Only Knew - Shinedown *Violently pinning while Cas is being Lucifer’s vessel*

If you only knew How I refuse to let you go, Even when you’re gone I don’t regret any days I Spent, nights we shared, Or letters that I sent It’s 4:03 and I can’t sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew […] You help me live and learn

11×23 I’ll Follow You Into The Dark - Gavin Mikhail “I could go with you” GOD do they make me cry

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied And illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I’ll follow you into the dark

12×01 Arms - Christina Perry That hug so cute, my babies.

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth And I’ve never opened up I’ve never truly loved 'till you put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go […] You put your arms around me and I’m home

12×02/12×09 I Found - Amber Run *Pining bc Cas doesn’t pay attention to you because he is looking for Lucifer*

I’ll use you as a warning sign That if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind And I’ll use you as a focal point So I don’t lose sight of what I want And I’ve moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would And I’ll use you as a warning sign That if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind

12×10 Hot N Cold - Katy Perry I could have used a more serious one, but the best part of the episode is them bickering like an old married couple.

'Cause you’re hot then you’re cold You’re yes then you’re no You’re in then you’re out You’re up then you’re down You’re wrong when it’s right It’s black and it’s white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up (You) You don’t really want to stay, no (You) But you don’t really want to go-o

12×11 - Losing your Memory - Ryan Star This is the episode where Dean gets witched into amnesia.

Call all your friends And tell them you’re never coming back Cause this is the end Pretend that you want it […] I would have died I would have loved you all my life You’re losing your memory now You’re losing your memory now You’re losing your memory now You’re losing your memory, now

12×12 In The Name of Love - Martin Garrix, Bebe Rexha “I love you.” *looks at Dean* “I love all of you" 

If I told you this was only gonna hurt If I warned you that the fire’s gonna burn Would you walk in? Would you let me do it first? Do it all in the name of love Would you let me lead you even when you’re blind? In the darkness, in the middle of the night In the silence, when there’s no one by your side Would you call in the name of love? In the name of love, name of love In the name of love, name of love

12×13/12×18- I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - ZAYN, Taylor Swift *Cas keeps going after Lucifer’s child instead of paying attention to Dean*

Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you’d call It’s just a cruel existence like there’s no point hoping at all Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day Give me something, oh, but you say nothing What is happening to me? […] I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

12×19 Thank You - Led Zeppelin This song has absolutely no relation to the episode but I KNOW Dean put it in the mixtape in hopes that Cas would do 1+1 and understand his confession, but he didn’t. And you can pry that headcanon from my COLD DEAD FINGERS.

If the sun refused to shine I would still be loving you When mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me Little drops of rain whisper of the pain Tears of loves lost in the days gone by My love is strong, with you there is no wrong Together we shall go until we die My, my, my inspiration is what you are to me Inspiration look, see

12×23 Slipped Away - Avril Lavigne :)))) Do not think of Dean on his knees next to Cas’ body and the burned wings.

Now you’re gone, now you’re gone There you go, there you go Somewhere I can’t bring you back Now you’re gone, now you’re gone There you go, there you go Somewhere, you’re not coming back The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won’t be the same, no The day you slipped away Was the day that I found it won’t be the same, oh

13×01/ 13×05 Dark Paradise - Lana de Rey Dean grieving Cas Pt.2 but this time he takes it like, a thousand times worse.

All my friends tell me I should move on I’m lying in the ocean, singing your song Ah, that’s how you sing it Loving you forever, can’t be wrong Even though you’re not here, won’t move on Ah, that’s how we play it And there’s no remedy for memory your face Is like a melody, it won’t leave my head Your soul is haunting me and telling me That everything is fine But I wish I was dead Every time I close my eyes It’s like a dark paradise No one compares to you I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side

13×06 Better Than I Know Myself - Adam Lambert Brokebacknatural. Dean being a happy ray of sunshine now that he got his sunshine back.

Cold as ice And more bitter than a December Winter night That’s how I treated you And I know that II sometimes tend to lose my temper And I cross the line Yeah that’s the truth I know it gets hard sometimes But I could never Leave your side No matter what I say 'Cause if I wanted to go I would’ve gone by now but I really need you near me To keep my mind off the edge If I wanted to leave I would’ve left by now But you’re the only one that knows me Better than I know myself

Emm… from here I’ll be skipping many episodes because, as you know, the writers decided that Dean and Cas didn’t need to interact for anything other than talking about Jack, because it’s not like they had a profound bond or anything, right? 

14×22 September - Daughtry Dean seeing what would have been of Cas if they haven’t met.

Of all the things I still remember Summer’s never looked the same The years go by and time just seems to fly But the memories remain In the middle of September we’d still play out in the rain Nothing to lose but everything to gain Reflecting now on how things could’ve been It was worth it in the end

13×23/14×02 Hymn for the Missing - Red *Reverse pinning now with Cas pinning for a Dean that’s being Michael’s vessel*

Where are you now? Are you lost? Will I find you again? Are you alone? Are you afraid? Are you searching for me? Why did you go? I had to stay Now I’m reaching for you Will you wait, will you wait? Will I see you again?

14×03/14×17 Stone - James Young This is… mostly just from 14×14 with Dean and Cas’ talk when Jack went to the bathroom bc they still never talk.

Your father came and went like the ocean’s tide And the day he left he never said goodbye […] You’ve been waiting for a miracle all your life […] So give me all your pain And love will set you free Give all your shame Put all your weight on me And I’ll be the stone you need me to be

14×18 /15×02 Bad Guy - Set it Off Look! They are talking again and- and now they are fighting. And Dean is blaming Cas for things that weren’t his fault. *sighting* Cas POV

I stole the moon I made the stars align I showed you how to fly And you made me the bad guy I fought for you I kept you safe at night I would have risked my life And you made me the bad guy

15×03 Fade - Lewis Cappaldi The DivorceTM 

Well, I know that we’ve been hardly holding on To tell the truth, I can’t believe we got this far Running near on empty I wish somebody would’ve told me That I’d end up so caught up in need of your demons That I’d be lost without you leading me astray Guess that I’m a fool for the way that you caught me Girl, you make my heart break more every day But don’t fade away

15×04/15×06 - Always - Gavin James And now we are pretending you are okay with the fact Cas dumped you? Okay, let’s pretend the drinking and comfort food ain’t signals of depression

What am I supposed to do without you? Is it too late to pick the pieces up? Too soon to let them go? Do you feel damaged just like I do? Your face, it makes my body ache It won’t leave me alone And this feels like drowning Trouble sleeping Restless dreaming You’re in my head Always, always I just got scared Away, away I’d rather choke on my bad decisions Then just carry them to my grave You’re in my head Always, always, always

15×07- Feel Something - James Young I Don’t Miss My Ex, so I’ll go have a good time with my other ex- oh no his evil. Oh no I had to kill him. Oh no I came back home and Cas won’t even look at me. Damn.

Touch me someone I’m too young to feel so Numb, numb, numb, numb […] So if you’re gonna stay, then stay But if you’re gonna go Make sure that you hurt me just enough to Make me feel something, something

15×08 Habits of My Heart - James Young So now we are pretending we aren’t sending indirects to each other? Fine. And you still don’t look at me even when you heal me AND NOT TOUCH ME. FINE.  And now our brothers are sending us to the time when our love was strongest? Where I spent a year praying to you and looking for you? I place that feels pure? Oh fuck.

You know I’d rather be alone, yeah But then you call me on the phone Oh the habits of my heart I can´t say no It’s ripping me apart You get too close You make it hard to let you go […] 'Cause I’d rather be alone But you fermented in my bones

(Note: You can measure my failure by the fact the word Angel was only 4 times in all this list.)

[fluffyunicornofdanger]

Just What I Needed

A/N: This might be a little confusing, but this fic takes place in 1987. Roger is 38 and Axl is 25. I changed the ending of the fic from the request. It kinda just went where it went. I may turn this into a series, let me know if I should. I have a few more requests that I’m gonna try and get done before the end of the week. Requests are open, so don’t be afraid to send them in. I would love to get feedback or whatever. If you want to be added to the taglist just ask. Hope you guys enjoy.

*~~~~~*

Masterlist 

Roger Taylor x Reader/ Axl Rose x Reader

Part Two / Part Three

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Hey! So I had this idea some time ago, hope you can do it. I know you will have to mix timelines to make it make sense, but what would happen if Roger or Bri (aware of reader’s feelings) had taken the reader for granted until Axl Rose tries to make a move on her during a party or whatever. Rog/Bri gets really mad because suddenly is afraid of losing the reader. Lots of fluff at the end, please. Btw, I love your writing.

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: Language???

*~~~~~*

The studio was buzzing with life as Y/n walked in. It often amazed her how full of life the building could get during the day and how silent it would become at night. The difference in time was astonishing, making her fall in love with the art of music. It had a way of bringing out colors and feelings that weren’t present when the sound was turned off. That’s what it did to the studio and her heart.

Y/n took a seat on the couch, watching Roger play the drums. He did it with such power and certainty, it was unbelievable that sometimes he would screw up. She sighed, trying not to stare but that’s all she could ever do around him.

It was a horrible thing to admit, she knew it, but she loved the man. There was no way to pin down exactly what it was about him. It seemed to be everything and nothing all at once. Sometimes it was his smile, others it was his personality, and then there were those rare moments where it was nothing but the ora surrounding him.

Not only was it a horrible thing to love him, seeing as how he was 18 years her senior, but it was stupid. She could see it plain as day. Though he wasn’t married, he practically was. Dominique was still in the picture and Y/n was also aware that a few other women were as well. So her love for the drummer was stupid and foolish. He simply couldn’t stay with one woman long enough and the only reason that he was still with Dominique was because they had kids. Those poor kids who had to grow up knowing that their parents didn’t really love each other. It was a shame, but she loved him anyway.

That, to her, was the funny thing about love. She knew that her feelings were useless, nothing would really come of them. It wasn’t like her and Roger would ever be involved, yet she still loved him. Hopeless love, it seemed. But each and everyday, she felt that same spark when he was around no matter how much she tried to suppress it.

Y/n was snapped out of gaze when Roger stood from the drums and walked into the room. He gave Y/n a quick smile, one that was always thrown her way ever since he found out about her feelings, before turning to John.

“How did that sound? Cause I’m not doing that again,” he stated with a chuckle.

John shrugged, a playful smile growing on his face. “One or two more times should do it.”

Roger shook his head, his short blonde locks flying out of place. “Then you can do it, Deacon.” He extended his drum sticks to the man as a joke, taking them back when John wasn’t interested. He then plopped on the couch next to Y/n.

As much as she wanted to scootch away, create a barrier that she felt was needed around him, she found that she couldn’t. He had her wrapped around his finger and everyone knew it. It was obvious.

Roger threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close her.

“Roger,” she whispered, trying to move away. “Not here.”

He laughed, vibrating against her. “Why not? They already know.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, giving in to his sweet voice.

They already knew.

She hated that. Y/n felt like eyes were always on her, giving her dirty looks when her back was turned. Try as she might to escape them and escape the drummer before a scandal broke out, nothing worked. She was Queen’s assistant and they not only needed her but loved her. They would probably crash and burn without her there to keep them in line. Though they weren’t as wild as they used to be, it wasn’t hard for them to go off the rails every now and then. She was quite like an anchor to them, so any time she tried to resign, no one would have it. Freddie would tell her how they would be lost without her, Brian and John would tell her that nothing they did would be the same without her there, and Roger would always tell her that she would miss them too much to stay away for long.

It was a horrible situation to be in.

All she wanted was the best for them. She truly did love each of them, but she felt that if she stayed things would... get weird. Her feelings for Roger wouldn’t disappear anytime soon, but his would. He was always going after the next best thing. So, he would be interested in her for a while until a prettier woman was to come along. And Y/n didn’t think she could deal with that pain. Not when she would have to see him almost every day. That was pain she didn’t want to go through in front of prying eyes. That pain would change everything, she knew it.

Y/n was too caught up in her thought, something that was becoming a reoccurrence, to notice that Roger was talking to her.

“Y/n.”

She blinked, turning to him. A serious look plastered on his face. “Yeah?”

He rolled his eyes, a small laugh escaping. He looked at her like she was some child. The same way he looked at his own children. It was sickening. But she was young and naive, making looks like that normal, but she didn’t want to receive them from him. “Were you listening?”

“No,” she sang, “Sorry, what were you saying?”

He folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t think you deserve to know, seeing as how you weren’t paying the slightest attention.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, pouting a little, something that always made him give in. “Fine.”

“Now, don’t look so down,” he told her. “I’ll tell you.”

She perked up, repositioning herself so that her body was almost turned completely towards him, his arm still wrapped around her shoulders. “Alright, let’s hear it then.”

“The boys and I have been invited to a party in L.A. by one of our friends,” he began. “Seeing as how Freddie is a partier, there is no way we could turn down the offer.”

Try as she must to understand, she simply couldn’t. Freddie may have been the life of the party, but Y/n wasn’t even close to that. So, she wasn’t sure why Roger was even telling her about it. They were grown men, who were all smart enough to pack their own bags and get to the airport. There was nothing they needed her to do. Y/n raised a brow, “Is that it?”

“No. I was thinking that I won’t have nearly as much fun Freddie will, so maybe you should come with me. It will be a blast. What do you say?”

She swallowed, unsure of what to say. What about Dominique? What about the press? If she went with him, people were bound to ask questions. Most assistants never got the chance to leave their office, let alone go to a party halfway around the world. It would be more than odd if she were to go with them and even odder if she hung around Roger the whole time. He may have not cared about what the public had to say, but she did.

The logical answer to his question was obviously no, but logic had been thrown out the window a long time ago. “Sounds like fun,” she replied. “When do we leave?”

*~~~~~*

Music was blaring, encasing Y/n in a layer of noise. The idea of going to the party was great at the beginning before she had even arrived, but now it was the last thing she wanted to do. Everything was too loud, overloading her sense, and people were way too close for comfort. She enjoyed having her space, but here, in the middle of a crowded room, she got none of that. It didn’t help matters that the one person that was supposed to guide her around had disappeared into the crowd.

Y/n sighed, trying her best to slip between people to get to the bar. She needed something to take the edge off. Parties had never been her thing. She was always that good kid. Her grandmother never had to worry about her sneaking out, doing drugs, drinking, or getting pregnant. She was the good Catholic girl that she had always wanted, seeing as how her brothers were the exact opposite. Y/n was her little piece of heaven, always trusting that she would stay out of trouble. And she did. Even in university, she was good about sticking to her studies. She needed to graduate to get a good job. There was no way she was going to fail as her grandmother had spent so much money on her education. So, parties were always out of the picture.

At least ones like the one she was at.

Once at the bar, she took a seat at one of the bar stools. It would be better for everyone if she just stayed put and out of the way. There was the chance that she would have to drag a drunk Roger back to his hotel room, so she was gonna try and stay out of as much of the chaos as she could manage. She flagged the bartender down, smiling when the woman stopped in front of her.

“What can I get ya?”

Y/n thought for a moment, she didn’t really trust herself around alcohol. Well… she didn’t trust others around her when alcohol was involved. “Wine.”

The woman nodded, her braid whipping around. “Any particular kind?”

“Surprise me.”

With that the woman was out of sight, going to fetch whatever wine she could get her hands on.

Y/n drummed her fingers against the bar, looking around at everyone having the time of their lives. She wished she could be more like them. More carefree and less uptight. God, how life would probably be more fun. She would probably spend less time stressing over the smallest of things and have a larger social group than just people involved with Queen. Maybe she would travel more, get a job that didn’t involve taking care of people. Being a personal assistant was never on the top of her dream jobs list.

She wasn’t allowed to daydream much longer as there was a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, her eyes landed on a young man, maybe around her age, with long red hair.

“Is this seat taken?” he asked her with a small smile.

She shook her head. “No, it’s all yours.”

He took a seat, turning to face her, with a curious look on his face. “You’re British?”

Y/n laughed, nodding just as the bartender set a glass of white wine in front of her. “Well, not really.”

The man shook his head, “Sorry, I guess I should have introduced myself before asking questions,” he confessed. “Axl Rose.” He held his hand out for her to take.

“Y/n Y/l/n.” She grabbed his hand, giving it a firm shake.

Y/n grabbed her glass of wine, smelling it before putting it to her lips. It wasn’t the type she would have normally chosen, but she was glad that it was the one picked out for her. She needed to try new things and why not do that in a whole new setting?

Axl ordered his drink in the time it took her to set her glass down. When he was finished ordering, he turned back to Y/n. “So, you’re British but not really.”

Y/n let out a laugh, nodding. “I guess you could put it that way. Technically, I’m American, so are my parents, but I was raised by my grandmother in England,” she told him.

“That’s interesting. This you’re first time here?”

She shook her head. “In L.A., yeah. But I used to visit my aunt almost every summer in Texas.”

The conversation just went on from there. She told him about her favorite places to go in London and he told her about what he liked about L.A. He asked about what she did for a living and she asked about what made him become a musician. Whether they intended for it to become a deep conversation or not, that’s where it lead.  

Y/n tried not to think too much about it, but she couldn’t help but think that she had never had conversations like that with Roger. Never in the time that she had worked for Queen, had she ever had a real conversation with him. He had no clue that she was raised by her grandmother or that she was American. All he knew about her was the small things that everyone else knew. He knew about as much as he cared to know, which it seemed was nothing at all.

It was weird how open Y/n was with someone that was a complete stranger. Well… they weren’t really strangers anymore. It seemed that with alcohol racing through their veins, they spilled their whole life stories. It was odd, but Y/n felt something she hadn’t felt before. She couldn’t put a name to the feeling, just that it was foreign. Axl made her feel something… something that brought about butterflies, but not the nerves that often came with them. Just a fluttering feeling that made her feel free of whatever had once bound her. Roger never made her feel like that. Her feelings for him often felt like dead weight. Something she had to drag around with her all day, every day. It didn’t help that she would often beat herself up over feeling that way.

It was refreshing to feel light as a feather.

“Did you come alone?” Axl asked, the bartender sliding a new drink in front of him.

Y/n sighed, thinking back to the man she had arrived with. Just thinking about him made her want to scrunch her nose up in disgust.  “No.”

“Are you gonna leave with him?”

Looking around the crowded room, Y/n couldn’t pick Roger out anywhere. He had probably gone off with some woman that had planned from the beginning to leave with a man. “No,” she drawled, once she was sure Roger or any of the boys weren’t in sight.

“You wanna leave with me?”

Y/n didn’t need him to ask again. “Hell, yes.”

With that, Axl took her hand, both hopping off the bar stools and making their way through the crowd.

*~~~~~*

Y/n rubbed her eyes as she entered the room that the boys shared during their stay. Her head was pounding from all the wine she had consumed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had drank so much. Thinking about it, she probably hadn’t drank that much before. Walking fully into the room, she smiled at John and Brian.

“There you are. We thought we had lost you,” Brian admitted

She waved it off, not wanting to bring up what she got into after the party. They probably wouldn’t think very highly of her for it. “Well, here I am.”

John opened his mouth to say something, maybe ask where she had gone off to or if she enjoyed the party before Roger walked in. He looked angrier than a bull chasing a clown, smoke was practically blowing out of his ears. He didn’t even have to say anything, John and Brian understood enough, both taking their leave.

It was just Y/n and Roger as the hotel room door shut behind them. Y/n bit her lip, unsure what was going on. Roger had no reason to be mad about her leaving with Axl. It wasn’t like Roger had been around to leave with her. And why would he even care what she did?

“So, did you enjoy the party?” she asked in an attempt to break the ice.

“Yeah, probably not as much as you did.” His voice was like venom when it hit her ears, something she hadn’t expected.

Y/n rolled her eyes, as much as he was trying to hurt her, she couldn’t understand why. He didn’t own her. “What does that mean, Roger?”

He folded his arms in front of him, “You know what I don’t understand?”

She didn’t respond, as silence filled the air, he was bound to tell her.

“I don’t understand how you can love me yet sleep with that, that drugged up excuse for a musician!”

Y/n let out a sigh, trying to stay calm. She was not going to give in to this childish behavior. Not when he had every chance to love her back or make her feel wanted. “That may be so, but I can’t seem to understand how you can love every girl at once but none at all at the same time! And you may see him as a drugged up excuse for a musician but at least he has yet to lead me on like you have!”

Roger groaned, throwing his hands in the air. “What am I supposed to do, Y/n? You act as if you don’t want to be seen with me!”

Taking a deep breath, she tried to keep her voice steady as she said, “Maybe that’s because you don’t know what commitment is. You haven’t been loyal to Dominique, now have you? You haven’t been loyal to any of the woman you have been in a relationship with.” She paused, tears were on the verge of spilling. “How can I be seen with you when you’re cheating on all the other woman in your life? How can I be in a relationship with you if you do nothing but cheat?”

She waited for an answer but he gave none. She nodded, there was no way he could answer either question. Y/n knew him like the back of her hand. She knew the dirty things he did and there was no way he could get around it. She may still love him, but she was no longer blind to his behavior or intentions.

Turning from him, she wiped a tear away. “Goodbye, Roger.”

Y/n slipped out of the room, tears rolling down her cheek. She let out a sob as she walked down the hall.

“This is just what I needed,” she muttered, wrapping her arms around herself.

As much as it hurt, she knew that loving him was wrong. It was from the start. Last night, it had been eye-opening. She was no longer blind, she could see the world in bright colors. The dead weight that she had carried with her for so long was now gone as she walked down the hall. It was replaced with relief. She no longer felt like a caged bird. What she would do now was a mystery, but she knew that she couldn’t go back to working for Queen. She needed time.

Maybe L.A. would give her that. 

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