#everything else is like: you need a degree and 5 years of experience if you wanna make $20 an hour

[crowcryptid]

Got home at 7:30…… yippie..

I love traffic.

[astrologydayz]

ASTRO SEXOLOGY NOTES🔞 - NATAL CHART2

VENUS/EROS IN PISCES/AT 12, 24° = Pisces degree points 2 someone being sexually attracted 2 "lost souls", they want someone who's willing 2 let them be their saviour✨. They could also hold deep thoughts about being saved by a lover themselves, and the idea of "escaping" 2 their "happily ever after". Sex them up with how artistic/poetic u can be. That shit always works. They need someone who's willing 2 show them a kind heart, while also fulfilling their deepest desires/sexual urges.

VENUS/EROS IN SCORPIO/AT 8, 20° = Scorpio degree points 2 someone wanting a lover that's more sexually charged in private, and someone who's willing 2 give up their "thought patterns", as they can be a little "obsessive" with wanting to know everything, or them investigating when they feel the other persons sexual attraction "dying down a little bit"🧯🔥. These people can easily find your weak spots, so they won't disappoint. They need someone who's willing2 give them their soul, as they do the same💀😍.

VENUS/EROS IN LEO/AT 5, 17, 29° = Leo degree points 2 wanting 2 be praised all the time, and a need 2 praise, if the other person does good🐕. They want someone who worships them, puts them on a pedestal👑. They need someone who knows that they're not 2nd place, but always 1st place. They put passion, & sexual attraction/admiration at the top of the list, of things they NEED, 2want to get sexual with somebody. They need platonic, romantic, &sexual flirting from people all around, 2 get that "confidence in", people telling them how fine they look/how sexy they are🌟🌟.

Moira asteroid (638) conjunct 5th house can show fated romances/affairs throughout life, or with one special person💜.

A MAN’S Venus in Leo/1st house is mostly all about themselves in bed, they want 2 get off first and then maybe, if you're lucky, they'll finish u off2. No hate, I just don't fuck with it 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨.

Black Moon Lilith conjunct Vertex in a MAN’S chart shows that he's meant 2 have fated experiences, that puts him out of the "conventional". Like him dating/seeing younger women&getting shit4it, or him being "thrown" into situations where he has 2 "defend himself", because of the women he's in a sexual relationship/romantic relationship with🙄. These fated connections/experiences is what turns him into who he's supposed 2 be - someone who doesn't give a fuck about anyone else's opinion - BML energy🖕🖕💜.

Medusa asteroid (149) conjunct ASC in a WOMAN’S chart will make herself look "tempting", or "available" in front of a man, but as soon as he looks or tries 2 hit on her, she'll degrade him. "U disgusting man, or "u pig"!! "I didn't look at u, or made any attempt 2 flirt with u, whatsoever"😂.

A MAN WITH Venus, Mars and Saturn in Capricorn = Ultimate dom. They'll make you scream their name over, and over again, & won't stop until he made you cum multiple times. He's REALLY sexually experienced, when he reach his older years, like from 30&up.

Lust asteroid : 4386 conjunct Jupiter = crazy sexual needs. Even if they've had crazy sex all night = they can go again the next day, all day😵‍💫😲🤣🤣 Mars in Virgo/8th house in Virgo in a MAN'S chart typically finds "younger people" 2 be way more sexual attractive, than people at their own age. They're attracted 2 the feeling of "feeling young", while being with a young woman/man❤️. They want someone they can have an insane sexual attraction2, while also being able 2 "teach" the other person a lot in the sexual department. Them wanting young/inexperienced women.

Neptune conjunct Black moon Lilith can make you so damn ethereal. Especially if you got Mars or Venus aspecting it 2. people want 2 rip your clothes off but r afraid 2 even say hi 2 u😭😭😭. Afraid you'll reject/embarrass them.

💜💜💜💜 Look at aspects from Venus (the planet of love&attraction), & Mars (the planet of sex), 2c what u like, & what u need sexually💋.

👅👅👅 Mars in Gemini changes their mind a lot when it comes 2 sex. One day they like 2 dominate, & the next they like 2 be submissive. It really comes down to how they feel on that particular day. &it makes sense. Mars (planet of sex&) in Gemini - Duality. A MAN’S Venus/Mars in Leo wants praises from u. They want 2 hear how good they are, and amazing they are in bed. If u don't, they can get bored of u, and seek somebody else - get their "needs" taken care of by another person👀 👀.

If your 8th house ruler is in your 8th house = sex can be so transformative for u but you'll probably only hookup with a few people throughout your life tho. Only having sex with people you feel a deep soul connection with.

🍆🍆 A MAN'S Mars/Venus/in 11th house in Aquarius is FREAKYYYYY, they'll try anything with their partner. MOSTLY ON VIDEO/cam🙃🙃🙃 PERIOD.

A WOMAN'S Venus in Pisces/8th/12th house is the "I'll do anything I can 2 satisfy your needs, before my own". I love these placements, they want their partner 2 feel all the pleasure and doesn't even think about their own.

Taurus Mercury/Mars LOVES 2 be neck kissed, damn. Just go wild there and they'll go crazy 4 u, I promise 👄👅. MEN with Mars in Taurus/Taurus in 8th house = attracted 2 women that always looks "beautiful", "sexy, but classy", "ocd around looks", "model looking". They want a gorgeous woman, that can "cater" 2 their most sensual needs 🫦💦. Find some whipped cream/ice cream + your tongue&his body = go loca. If he doesn't go crazy, (u probably have the wrong chart😂🤡). Webb asteroid (3041) conjunct/trine/sextile/quintile BML can indicate doing "Web porn", "only fans", "showing yourself off, in a "sexual, provocative way online"🧯💨🔥.

Mars/Venus in Gemini/3rd house loves using toys! But they especially love2 use their hands&fingers!! They can also love oral👅.

REPOST OF SOME OF MY POSTS FROM MY OLD BLOG/SOME NEW COMMENTS

THANKS4READING💘 Appreciate u, always!

[janeyseymour]

Love Thy Neighbor one shot where ellie calls mel mom for the first time in front of all the abbott family, maybe she gets sick at school and calls for her mom and when reader and mel show up she refuses to got with reader and they realize it’s mel she’s talking about

bestie. i got you.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7. Part 8. Part 9. Part 10. Part 11. Part 12.

Title Change

WC: ~2.65k

Every year, right around the holidays, Ellie gets sick with whatever is running rampant through the school. And every year, you absolutely dread that time. It could be just the stereotypical, run of the mill fever, but it could also be the flu, a stomach bug, strep throat, pneumonia, pink eye… the worst was right before you moved out of Utah and she ended up with croup and in the hospital overnight. You’re pretty sure you’ll never be able to get the images or sounds from that experience out of your head. Seeing your little girl down for the count is so hard for you, and it doesn’t get any easier as she gets older- she’s still the same little love bug that you remember fussing over when her temperature ran a bit too high for your liking and she would fall asleep at a moment’s notice on your chest.

This year, she gets sick without fail, although you hate to admit that neither you nor your girlfriend had picked up on it when you brought her with you to school today. Her cheeks were a bit rosy this morning as you walked into Abbott, yes- but this December has been particularly cold so far and she had insisted on running around in her t-shirt and shorts this morning despite the fact that the living room was a crisp 65 degrees this morning when you woke up. And then on top of that, you were running a bit late and didn’t get your usual parking spot close to the front of the school.

Your little girl had been adamant that she stay attached to Melissa’s hip while the three of you sat in the staff lounge before everyone else comes in, which is not an uncommon occurrence. It’s warm and peaceful until Janine comes in with cookies for her students, and inevitably one for your daughter. Ellie begs you to let her have it, and you chuckle before relenting. It turns out that was the last think she needs because she’s running circles around the shorter second grade teacher within five minutes. Thankfully though, the time comes where the child high on sugar is no longer you’re problem- she’s now her teachers problem. The two of you walk her down to her first grade classroom before the rest of the kiddos trickle in.

“Be a good girl today, little miss,” you crouch down and open your arms.

Ellie’s arms are around your neck and squeezing you tight. “I always am, Momma.”

“I know, but I’m just reminding you,” you chuckle as you kiss her forehead. It’s a bit warm, but nothing that is too alarming. You release her, and it’s your girlfriend’s turn.

“Love you, kiddo,” Melissa embraces your daughter.

“I love you too,” the seven year old sighs as she rests her head on the second grade teacher’s shoulder for a few seconds. And then she’s bouncing into her classroom and greeting her teacher with the gusto that only a little girl who had a cookie at seven in the morning could have. You and the redhead chuckle as you watch before you loop an arm around your girlfriend and walk down to your little corner of the hallway.

“Did she feel a little warm to you?” Melissa asks you quietly.

You shrug. “A little, but she was also running circles around Janine not five minutes ago.”

“I guess,” she says softly. “I just know you said she always gets sick right before the holidays, and with everything going around…”

“God,” you groan. “I’ve had five kids out at the minimum everyday this week. I’m praying to God Ellie doesn’t get sick for break.”

“Knock on wood,” Melissa sighs as she knocks against her door. “But if she does get sick, we’ll be here for her.”

“Until I get sick with it too because she insists on laying on me,” you quip quietly.

The redhead kisses your temple. “And I’ll be here to take care of you.”

“It’s still insane to me that you haven’t been sick in over ten years.”

“It’s one of the few benefits I get for being in this germ breeding ground for so long,” Melissa chuckles.

Your kiddos come in and start on their morning work, and all is fine and normal until your classroom phone starts to ring. That’s unusual. Nobody ever uses the classroom phones because your crew will just call or text your personal phone, or they’ll just make the trip down to your end of the hallway. Honestly, the only people who really use the classroom phones are… the nurses.

“Hello?” you answer, and you pray to God it’s the nurse calling about the student that you had just sent down to the nurse’s office five minutes ago. But June comes walking back into the classroom right on time to confirm that this phone call isn’t about her.

“Hey.” It’s Ellie’s teacher.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to call and ask if Ellie was feeling okay when you brought her into school today?”

You exhale a heavy breath. “She was running around the apartment this morning singing Frozen and ran circles around Janine in the lounge this morning, so I would say so. Why?”

“Poor thing’s been shivering at her desk for the last twenty minutes while we’ve been doing word work,” your coworker says quietly. “I asked her if she had a sweater with her, but she said she left it with you.”

“Send her down,” you tell the woman.

“Will do,” the first grade teacher nods into the phone. “Thanks.”

Ellie appears in your doorway a few minutes later. Your third graders immediately start cooing over how adorable she is.

“Hey, baby girl,” you smile at her from your place at the front of the room. “Come to get your sweater?”

She nods before coughing a bit. You frown a bit, the lines in your forehead etching their way into your face. You tell your students to work through the next math problem while you attend to your little girl.

As you help her pull on her sweater, you whisper to her, “You feeling okay?” You press your hand against her forehead, and then her cheeks, and then her neck. She does feel warmer than she had earlier this morning.

“Jus’ cold,” Ellie mumbles.

“Okay, baby,” you sigh softly. “Well, you tell your teacher if you aren’t feeling well, and I can always take you home, yeah?”

“I’ll be okay, Momma,” your daughter tells you. “I’m tough like… like Mel.”

You chuckle a bit before kissing her head. “Okay, sweetness. But still, if you aren’t feeling well, that’s okay.”

“M’kay, Momma,” you little girl sighs as she holds her arms out to hug you. “I love you.”

“I love you too, little one,” you whisper as you kiss her still somewhat chubby cheek. “Head on back to class, and I’ll see you at the end of the school day, okay?”

She scampers out of the room, happy to have that extra layer on. Ellie really is going back to her classroom, but as she passes Melissa’s door, she can’t help but stop in the open doorway.

Your girlfriend raises her brows at the sight of your little girl. “Hey, El. What’s going on?”

“I had to get my sweater from Momma, but then I was passing your room and I wanted to say hi,” Ellie smiles bashfully from the door. “Can I come in and give you a hug?”

“One quick one,” the redhead sighs dramatically as she opens her eyes wide. Your daughter knows she isn’t one bit annoyed with the big grin that your girlfriend is wearing. “But then you have to get back to your room.”

“I know,” the first grader says as she runs into the room and into Melissa’s arms. “Quick snuggle, and then back to Miss Smith.”

“Right. Good girl,” Melissa praises your daughter before releasing her from the hug. “I’ll see you at the end of the day, okay?”

Ellie hums her response before stretching on her toes and kissing the second grade teacher’s cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too, El.”

“I know!” your little girl grins as she skips out of the room and heads back for her own classroom.

By the time lunch rolls around, you still haven’t heard anything from your daughter’s first grade teacher or the nurses, so you assume that Ellie really is just toughing it out until you all get home for the night.

“Hey,” you greet your girlfriend sitting her place with a kiss to the temple. “How’s your day going so far?”

“I had a little visitor today,” Melissa chuckles. “Oh?”

“Ellie came in wanting a hug after she got her sweater from you,” your girlfriend smiles. “She’s lucky she’s cute.”

“Did she feel warm to you?” you ask her the same question she asked you this morning.

“I asked you that this morning,” Melissa rolls her eyes. “But yes, why?”

“Smith called asking if El was feeling well while I was teaching math and told me that she was shivering for the entirety of their word work time.”

“Poor thing’s probably getting sick,” the redhead sighs as she brings a forkful up to her mouth.

You hang your head. “Great.”

“At least it isn’t during break that she’s going to be sick,” Melissa tries to comfort you.

You nod. “I guess, but I hate seeing her like-”

“I want Mommy!” you can hear your little girl before you can see her. You raise a brow at that though- she never calls you ‘Mommy’. You’ve always been ‘Momma’, from the time that she was born. The staff room door whips open, and there is a wailing Ellie with snot running down her face as she clings to her first grade teacher’s hand. “I want Mommy!”

“Y/N, I’m so-” Miss Smith tries to get out.

You shake your head, refusing her apology- you know how your daughter can get when she’s not feeling well, and it’s quite clear to you now that Ellie is under the weather. You rush over to her and crouch down in front of her.

Melissa raises her brow, and she contemplates making her way over. But you’re always so good with your daughter, and you she figures that you have this one handled.

The rest of the Abbott crew makes their way in, sidestepping around you to get to their own spots. But of course, Ava stops in her tracks.

“Why’s your kid so snotty?”

“Ava,” you scold.

The principal shrugs and bypasses you to get to the coffee machine.

“I want Mommy!” Ellie continues to wail.

You open your arms for your sick little girl to fall into. “Momma’s right here, baby. I’m right here.”

“I want Mommy!” the child refuses and goes so far as to stomp her foot in frustration. That action is not something you would usually condone, but you let it slide just this one time. God, is she so sick she’s delirious and doesn’t realize that you’re right in front of her?

“Sweetheart, I’m right here,” you whisper and you reach out a hand to brush away a few of the hairs that are in her face. You pull your sleeve over your hand and wipe the snot away from her face. “Momma’s right here.”

“I want Mommy!” Ellie shrieks again as the tears pour down her face.

You run a hand over your face before pulling her into your arms. You lift her onto your hip and hold her as she cries, offering the rest of the staff an apologetic look for the commotion your daughter is causing. 

“Mommy’s here, baby,” you sigh softly. You take your seat back next to your girlfriend as you try to soothe your daughter enough to be able to take her through the halls to gather her things to head home for the day.

Melissa reaches a hand over and starts rubbing circles on Ellie’s back in hopes of helping to calm her down. At her touch, your little girl’s head pops up from its place on your shoulder, and she immediately reaches for the redhead.

Your girlfriend pulls Ellie into her lap and holds her, rocking her gently.

“Mommy,” the little girl whimpers as her cries and wails turn into soft sniffles.

Everyone’s eyes in the room, including your own, go wide. Melissa’s jaw drops, and she looks to you.

“What was that, baby?” you ask softly.

“I telled you and Miss Smith that I wanted Mommy,” Ellie mumbles as your girlfriend’s warm touch and gentle rocking starts to lull her to sleep. She starts to lazily play with the red curls that are within her reach as her eyes flutter shut. She’s snoring softly against Melissa’s shoulder within minutes.

The silence that has washed over the staff lounge at Ellie’s words is finally broken when the redhead asks softly, “Did she- did she call me ‘Mommy’? Am I ‘Mommy’?”

“I think she did,” Barbara smiles from her place.

“Wow,” Melissa whispers as she looks down at the little girl in her lap. “Wow.”

You also whisper your shock and surprise.

Those green eyes that you’ve fallen in love with look into yours seriously. “Are you- how do you feel about that?”

“Honestly?” you ask quietly.

She nods.

You smile softly, a bit sadly. “I wish it didn’t take her being ridiculously sick for her to call you that… but it feels so right.”

The second grade teacher takes one hand off of Ellie’s back to take your own. She squeezes it gently with tears in her eyes. 

“Sorry,” she chuckles as she wipes at her eyes. “I didn’t think I would get so emotional over this.”

You chuckle softly, as does Barbara.

“Well,” the kindergarten teacher looks to the two of you expectantly. “Little Ellie needs her Mommy and her Momma to take her home and look after her.”

You glance to your girlfriend, and she nods without hesitation.

“Even if Ava and Mr. J are our subs?” you double check.

“El needs us,” Melissa tells you firmly. “I don’t care who is with our kids as long as we’re with Ellie.”

“I’ll get everything together if you want to stay here with her?” you ask.

She nods. “You know where my sub plans are?”

“Of course I do,” you laugh softly as you stand. “Just give me like fifteen minutes, and then we can head out.”

When you return back to the staff lounge, Melissa is still holding your little girl close to her heart and humming softly while glaring at everyone else, daring them to make noise and wake the Ellie.

“Hey,” you lug your bags, your girlfriend’s bags, and your little girl’s backpack in as quietly as you can. “We’re good to go.”

She stands from her place, still managing to keep Ellie asleep on her. You’re both able to get her in the car and back into the apartment while she naps, and once the little girl is settled on the couch and still asleep, you take Melissa into the kitchen. You wrap your arms around her neck and look her in the eyes.

“I love you,” you whisper as you press your foreheads together.

“I love you too,” she tells you quietly. “And El.”

“You’re so good with her,” you tell Melissa softly. “So good.”

She hums before kissing you gently.

“How do you feel about being ‘Mommy’?” you ask your girlfriend.

Your girlfriend’s eyes well with tears again. “Like I’m on top of the world… that little girl of yours… wow.”

“That little girl of ours,” you correct her. “Ours.”

As if Ellie knows the two of you are talking about her, she whines out from her place on the couch. “Mommy! Momma!”

Motherhood never stops, and the two of you head into the living room to hold your daughter together. 

TAGS (and lmk if you wanna be added!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson

[azrielgreen]

Once again back on my "Please write whatever the fuck you want especially if it's unhinged" bullshit.

I feel like fandom doesn't talk enough about contrast to understand how important it is and how human nature will always inevitably seek it out to some degree. One of the BEST things about a pairing in fandom is that you get to read fic about them in all different ways. From Canon typical meet cutes and happy ending fix its to serial killers AU and dead doves ahoy. Contrast and multifaceted expression is necessary. It will always exist. It needs to. It should. It MUST.

I say this because the suppression of "contrast" (I.e anything the loudest people in fandom don't vibe with) is especially rampant where the pairing becomes an extension OF the people engaging with it. The inability to separate and share space securely without needing to dominate through bullying and harassment is behind so much of what's wrong in fandoms now.

But see, most people don't understand what fucking contrast IS. They can only imagine someone doing what they are doing: trying to dominate and suppress by asserting superiority, when in fact that's not the case at all.

Contrast is a good thing. A fic that's different and weird and provocative might inspire something new in a reader. Art doesn't only come from happy hyperfixations and an echo chamber of agreement. Salt tastes AMAZING after chocolate. Everyone's tastes can be expressed and contrast is what's responsible for so much of creative expression that we barely realise it. Contrast is Eddie Munson DYING in SE4. Did anyone like it? Fuck no. Did it trigger a mass movement? Hell yes, at least in part. If everything in fandom is "Happy and Safe and Approved By The Self Selected Voices of Fandom TM" then everything will become a replica of everything else. There must always be space for the new, challenging and downright dark explorations because they provide balance, they trigger reactionary imagination, they provide context and critical thought and that's without even touching upon catharsis or human experience in a narrative frame.

Contrast is necessary. Anyone can write ANYTHING. AO3 is an archive, it's for everyone and anyone but not any ONE person to try to control.

No cruelty or discourse will be worth it in 5 years time. Only the art will remain.

💜💜💜

[thebindingofpillo]

It’s been a while since I did a proper character introduction so this will be a little all over the place but MAGGY queen of my heart, best girl 2kforever is here!!!! Read all about her under the cut.

As with everyone else in the cast, Magdalene is a Normal Person trying to move through life the best way she can. While she’s aware or the existence of the supernatural, her strategy is to chug along and having a normal life in spite of all this. So who cares if the Angel of Destruction is chilling in her living room? That’s her boyfriend and he’s gonna help her with dinner, don’t be rude.

Her and Isaac are adopted siblings - you can find out about Isaac here - and they both have an artistic drive BUT while Isaac’s passion lies in figurative arts, Maggy is more of a writing type. Personality wise, I envisioned her as a really sweet, passionate girl, but also with an extremely short fuse. Quick to anger! But also very quick to calm down if people don’t respond to her anger - Judas is a master of this trick, while Isaac can get as emotional as her and their fight usually devolve into screaming matches.

This doesn’t mean she’s constantly looking for a fight, in fact she knows how to keep her cool if the situation calls for it. Her emotions only get the best of her if she’s with people she trusts and if the situation is dire enough (like discovering your beloved boyfriend killed the son of God…). She’s also a huge nerd! And a bit feral. Could either ramble for hours about her interests or eat a bell pepper like it's an apple. That's why her boys love her so much. Her and Judas met when they were in middle school and have been inseparable ever since. They bonded over their mutual interest in history and literature, so much so that they ended up pursuing a higher education in their respective fields. But while Judas had no problems getting a masters, Maggy spent years struggling to complete a base three-year degree* and ended up dropping out entirely. In the years she wasn’t studying, she focused on writing and publishing her first book, but that didn’t go so well either. She eventually ended up applying for a job at a kindergarten not too far from her home - where she met Lilith - all the while still trying her hand at writing. She’s currently working on a second book, with the help of Isaac (illustrations) and Judas (research).

*I am using my own experience with Italian university, I don’t know how American colleges work lol sorry. Anyway in Italy university is divided as such

Laurea triennale (three-year degree) - 3 years. This is the basic degree.

Laurea magistrale (masters degree) - 2 years. You can only access this after completing the three-year basic degree.

Dottorato (doctorate) - 3 years. Can only be accessed after completing the 2 year masters degree.

If you wanted to get a doctorate you’d need to go through 8 years of school. Judas has completed 5 years of studying (therefore has a masters degree) and is now taking a sabbatical before working on his doctorate. Magdalene dropped out after a couple of years and never completed the basic three-year degree. Hope this is clear enough!

Anyway, dropping out of school didn’t make Magdalene any less educated. She loves learning! And both her and Judas have amassed a huge library filled with every single book that captured their attention. She’s also very curious and has a knack for teaching herself new things, like calligraphy, cooking, and even lerning new languages. Everything that catches her attention - from mushroom growing, to crystals, to ancient religions - is free game!

Despite all this, dropping out of school and seeing her first book flop did put a damper on her overall mood. While her loved ones reassure her that her worth isn’t defined by her successes or lack of thereof, deep down she feels like a failure. Sure, she has a job, but idling away the rest of her life at a 9 to 5 isn’t really a thing she sees herself doing. At the same time, she’s afraid of putting too much hope into this new book, because another failure might push her to give up writing altogether and make her truly miserable.

As for her religious belief, she’s a born again Christian. She had a slight crisis of faith after highschool - nothing too serious, she just didn’t see the point in going to mass every week and was frustrated that this thing that was supposed to bring her joy felt more like a chore than anything. With her being a rebellious teenager at the time, she did a complete 180 and converted to satanism for a while. Her parents didn’t really support her decision, but they didn’t stop her either, as teenagers are teenagers and they just wanted their girl to be happy (and not hurt anyone or herself in the process).

During this phase of her life she dabbled a little in witchcraft, and her knowledge of tarots and crystals comes from here. She didn’t do much more than that though, as she was still a bit skeptical of the whole magic ordeal.

Eventually she met Azazel, who was nothing short of horrified to see her proudly announcing she was a satanist, since he had direct experience with the guy and could attest he was an asshole. Seeing a real demon from hell scared her half to death but since he was very sweet and knowledgeable, he managed to help her find her faith again and answer all the questions she might have had in the meantime. This does not mean that Magdalene is now the stereotypical Good Christian Girl Trademark. While her faith in God is stronger than ever, she still takes all the rules imposed by the human Church with a grain of salt. She’s not a zealot, but still goes to mass and tries to love her neighbour the best way she can (even when it’s difficult!).

More stuff (rapid fire)

She likes to joke she’s the world’s worst Catholic as she still reads tarots from time to time and stili has her pendulum and crystal collection

While she still has an interest in divination and magic, it’s from a purely cultural perspective now.

Her new book is about… the adventures of Perseus. I am getting meta with my story lol

I had the idea she was able to mend clothes and sew, but I don’t think it fits her too much anymore, so now whenever she needs something done she gives it to Isaac.

[siblingshuffle]

Any instance where Blues has gotten hurt really bad, needing to be treated by either Roll, Light, or Rock, who are concerned?

Thanks for the ask, Anon!

Despite his non-combative role, Blues has gotten hurt a couple of times. Not often to a “really bad” degree because he’s not often put in a position where he’s likely to get hurt, but it does happen sometimes by nature of being related to the city’s hero. That said, unless he is physically incapable of "just dealing with it", he probably wouldn’t let someone else fuss over him for very long (if at all).

I mean, I made him mentally 13 years old because that’s the first official “teen” year (which are traditionally marked by rebellion, searching for identity, and attempts to assert their own autonomy - so basically for thematic reasons) on top of his already fierce sense of independence and his introversion. He tries to do everything himself unless he literally can’t.

Here’s a short list of injuries (& health issues) that he has had to make his family worry:

The incident that led to the discovery of Blues’s defective core. His power output wasn’t stable, it fluctuated due to the imbalance in his core, and he lost power mid-demonstration (basically passing out), and on top of that he was still being attacked on his way down. Dr. Light panicked over that, given that his son was hurt and possibly dying and it was his fault. The guy was beating himself up even before he discovered Blues climbing out through the window. (Also fun fact: Dr. Light still hasn’t completely given up on the idea that maybe he can find a way to ensure that Blues can get a new core AND keep his personality, though Blues doesn't think that’ll happen in his lifetime.)

As mentioned here, he ended up kidnapped by Oil Man to be used as bait after being sent home (since he was low on charge, and that’s when he starts getting more frequent weird/painful sensations in his limbs), and I’m unsure how clear I was, but he did not get the chance to get a good charge before being taken to a second location. So, for that whole arc, he’s very grumpy, sleepy, and uncomfortable (and definitely took a lot of little spite-fueled mini-naps). Roll got super worried upon discovering his scarf and the ransom note, in part since it didn’t look like he actually made it inside of the lab. She has him chug an E-Tank immediately upon his rescue and she & Dr. Light make him take a long nap once he was back home (and he was actually very willing to comply with both requests. Let Blues Sleep 20XX).

Also not an injury, but Blues was not "Live Laugh Love"-ing in game 10. I’m not sure how much you are counting this, but he was sick for most of the game, and everyone was very concerned.

Similarly, though not as seriously, Rock got EXTREMELY worried and would not stop trying to help Blues the first time Blues got the aforementioned sensation in one of his limbs around him. (It’s Rock’s function to help, after all.) Like, Blues had to sit him down and say "It’s just a power fluctuation. My core does that sometimes because it doesn’t work right. I’m not dying. Well, not yet anyway." This likely doesn’t count, but I’m putting it out there anyway.

—————

As you can see, not a lot of dramatic injuries, again probably due to lack of proximity to as dangerous activities. I do like to think, though, that newly-activated Robot Masters have very young-child-like responses to things despite thinking like their programmed age (because they still have to learn about the world around them via experiences to fill in the gaps that data can’t cover). So, here’s a bonus based on the idea:

5. Blues (approximately 2 days old) fell out of a tree he was climbing at the park (he saw some human kids doing it the day before and thought it looked fun, but didn’t account for the fact that he was heavier than those kids and the tree he’d picked was a little less sturdy.) He didn’t make it very high up before a branch snapped. The fall didn’t actually hurt much, but he hadn’t been hurt before and ended up so startled that, because he was 2 days old, translated to crying (and, because he’s also 13 years old, trying to stop crying because 'it’s not that bad' and 'this is so embarrassing'). Cue First-Time-Parent Dr. Light frantically checking up on him while Blues is trying to convince him that he’s fine.

[devotioncrater]

ed/stede + edizzy + edward's bipolar

oh man the first three episodes of season 2 are. wow. okay. much to unpack. more fuel for my Edward Has Bipolar Theory.

DISCLAIMER: i am not a clinician, nor do i hold any degree in the psychology field. this meta is purely drawn from my own experience with diagnosed bipolar i, alongside what i've learnt in years of therapy as well as reading bipolar books/articles and peer-reviewed research papers. above all, this meta is for fun; please do not use this as a self-diagnostic.

this meta is broken up into sections:

the intro section

the bipolar section

the codependency section

the season 2 speculation section

The Intro Section

right away, the admittance of edward hating himself & feeling unloveable recontextualizes everything. his dynamic with stede & the crew, his dynamic with his own crew, his dynamic with izzy.

because like. hi hello?? when izzy says "you know me better than anyone else, and i daresay the same is true for me to you" it's just. a nail in the coffin. one of many nails. here's why.

it took an insane amount of vulnerability for edward to open himself up to stede in season 1. it took a lot out of him to even accept stede's love, and then believe it to be real. he believed that just for one moment in his scarred life, he was someone worth loving, baggage and all. as he himself was. for who he was. stede saw him and loved him and accepted him. if edward had been there to hear when lucius said to stede that the time edward spent with stede was the best it'll ever be for him, edward probably would've agreed.

which is. oh man. it would be a bit of a thin ice situation, wouldn't it? that's fucking bleak.

before we get into that, we need to dissect the dysfunction in the edizzy dynamic. i mean it's all tragic, all toxicated, especially with the downward spiral edward's on. so why examine it? what is there to examine?

the downward spiral began in season 1, became abated by stede & the crew, only to jumpstart at the end thanks in part to izzy. so we need to examine why, because edizzy's dysfunction plays a role in all of this mess.

it's undeniable izzy triggered edward, yes, but look a little further. edward's irritability, his emptiness, his substance abuse, the sudden shift in gears between his erratic moods. the crew walk on eggshells around him, because his behavior in season 2 so far is reckless, dangerous, and suicidal. there's pressurized speech patterns and racing thoughts present and they intermingle alongside low-energetic periods when he isolates. above all, he feels hopeless. overwhelmed by a sea of loneliness. fang starts the season off being unable to recognize him.

on the flipside, in season 1, he's on the tail-end of a low when we meet him. listless, bored, passively suicidal before he swings the other way. with stede & the crew he's up in the clouds. he's affable, he's happy, he's social. there's hope for change. he tries new things, laughs, even falls in love. he imagines a life for himself outside of piracy. there's impulsive actions such as the act of grace and impulsive thoughts like sailing to china. even when stede leaves him, edward grieves at a healthy-looking level. in episode 5, when edward's mood first shifts, fang doesn't recognize him in the elevated state.

the point is, edward feels things in the extreme. he lacks emotional regulation. "uncharacteristic" high highs and low lows.

how he reacted to izzy's trigger — "this is blackbeard" — is disproportionate until you piece together two puzzle pieces:

edward likely has bipolar + his core beliefs (self-loathing/feeling unloveable) throw oxygen into the flame of his relationships.

The Bipolar Section

to get on the same page here, let me provide a few Basic Oversimplified Definitions (here is a pdf of the DSM-5 for a scientific understanding, scroll to page 168. please do not use this PDF or meta as a self-diagnostic. contact a clinician/psychiatrist if you have questions or feel you need an evaluation):

bipolar disorder: a chronic, lifelong mood disorder characterized by manic highs and depressive lows. fluctuations in moods are extreme and, depending on subtype, can inhibit functionality. it can be managed today with medication and psychotherapy.

manic episode: lasting one week or more, this is the high highs. the mood is elevated or irritable. if severe, it can include psychosis/psychotic features such as hallucinations, paranoia, and/or delusions. mania belongs to subtype Bipolar I.

hypomanic episode: lasting at minimum four days straight, this is a lesser high than manic. it does not include psychosis/psychotic features, nor does it inhibit functionality. hypomania belongs to subtypes Bipolar I and Bipolar II.

depressive episode: lasting two weeks or more, this is the low lows. anhedonia and major depression are hallmarks of a depressive episode. depression belongs to all three subtypes of bipolar (the third subtype being cyclothymia).

mixed episode: best of both worlds. a person experiencing one may possess high levels of energy — such as pressurized speech — while simultaneously feeling overwhelmingly low and suicidal. a mood may flip from elated to hopeless on a dime.

euthymia: a mood state that is stable, without (hypo)mania or depression. it is a neutral baseline which occurs between episodes.

IMPORTANT NOTE: bipolar disorder is more complex than "just a mood swing". mood swings are situational, while bipolar presents even without situational factors. think about how, in season 2, edward has got his hair in a messy updo, cleans his cabin, swears off drinking & drugs, and is smiling. he explains to frenchie that he's decided to change after a rough night. then it cuts to a flashback of him the night before lying on the floor bawling his eyes out. the scene is played for laughs, however that is a textbook bipolar mood fluctuation. you go to bed hopeless and you wake up on top of the world, or vice versa. edward's situation hadn't changed in the hours between him crying and his conversation with frenchie.

(it can be argued that he thought izzy had died, but i don't think he believed frenchie had truly finished the job. why else had he grilled frenchie? he was sweating frenchie out, testing frenchie's loyalty. "you don't think i know the smell of my rotting former first mate?" edward knew izzy was alive the entire time).

like with almost every disorder, bipolar disorder presents itself differently in different people. in my experience, when i am in either a depressive or manic episode, two different outlooks may occur:

it becomes hard to remember what life was like on the other emotional end. (i.e. when manic, i tend to downplay my prior depressive episode).

i become hyperaware of the other emotional end, so i try to either get it to happen or prevent it from happening. (i.e. not wanting to become depressed, so i'll do XYZ).

i mention these outlooks because they're common. when you're in it, you're in it; when you're out, you're out. the first outlook is something edward's actions point to him experiencing, too, as evidenced in season 2 with his extreme suicidal behavior. he's in it in it.

the ups and downs in bipolar are difficult for the person struggling with the disorder. often, it feels uncontrollable. the symptoms — especially the ones which risk becoming severe like hopelessness or distractibility — are a challenge to cope with. during the high highs, your brain feels like it's frying. during the low lows, your brain feels like dense fog. therefore it's common for people to turn to substances to help alleviate what they're experiencing, and/or they partake on an impulsive whim. drastic life changes also may occur in an attempt to "fix" or "control" the disorder. severe episodes, when left untreated, may ruin or end people's lives. people with bipolar disorder are 15x more likely to commit suicide than the general population.

people who do not have bipolar themselves yet are close to someone with bipolar may also experience related difficulty. it may feel overwhelming to witness episodes occur with little to no understanding or tools on how to help. it may also feel stressful to try and gauge what state the other person is in. "walking on eggshells" is a common descriptor for the experience when the bipolar is unmanaged. that does not mean the person with bipolar disorder is automatically bad/abusive/harmful, it just means the disorder is a disorder. it interferes with daily functioning, causes distress, and impacts interpersonal relationships.

at the end of season 1, izzy hit edward where it hurts (edward's self-loathing, intertwined with the role of blackbeard) while edward was in what i believe to be a euthymic state (calm). now with their recontextualized relationship, we also see the underlying message of: "i serve blackbeard, he is my captain." -> "edward isn't good enough for my love".

izzy loves edward, but he's made it clear in season 1 it was for edward's blackbeard persona. or was it? you see, i don't believe that claim to be entirely true anymore, not after the first three episodes of season 2.

i believe a more accurate reading would be that in season 1, izzy was concerned, jealous, and vindictive. all in that order. the above underlying message weaponizes edward's separation of Edward and Blackbeard against edward. more on this later.

in season 2, izzy is just plain concerned ("we're worried for you"). he tries a different approach at managing edward's unstable mood. he goes for a softer attempt ("i have...love for you") because maybe, maybe it could work. it worked with stede. when it backfires, he ditches it and goes right back to bluntness ("the atmosphere's fucked!"). he also refuses to kill edward despite everything edward's put him through.

both seasons' motives were not for blackbeard, but for edward.

when we meet them in season 1, their relationship is dysfunctional at best. their baseline dynamic before stede is best depicted during episode 4.

in the model ship scene, edward's excited about stede's stuff, restlessly moving, unable to focus, appearing happy even though he's a hair-trigger away from irritability. he purposefully avoids or dismisses izzy's concerns about dying. he feels bored and trapped ("is this all there is?"), then feels frustration over feeling trapped, citing that he's blackbeard and blackbeard shouldn't feel trapped.

later in the episode, izzy frustratingly points out that edward's moods are "increasingly erratic" and something that izzy himself has had to manage. izzy also states that he's followed edward's every whim for years, and smoothed over their crew for him. edward, again dismissive, says "sounds stressful, izzy". izzy says it is but he felt honored to do it all for blackbeard, who is the greatest sailor he's ever known. this ties into their codependency, which i'll go over later on.

at this point in time, "edward" and "blackbeard" are synonymous, the names are just different titles reserved for different settings. edward himself doesn't see a distinction until stede — a person he respects — consistently treats him like Edward and not like Blackbeard. edward's identity to Blackbeard separates because he opens himself up to the possibility that Edward is someone worth knowing. Blackbeard, once a healthy coping mechanism created to survive in the pirating world, had soured somewhere along the way into an unhealthy coping mechanism. it became more of a cage than a home.

but to izzy, "blackbeard" is a good thing to be because it's an accomplishment of edward's. they built their whole careers and lives around it. when izzy says he's honored to sail with blackbeard, the greatest sailor out there, he says it to try and bring edward back to himself. it's his botched attempt at grounding/helping edward. if edward can be reminded of how great he is, reinforced by his accomplishments under the name blackbeard, maybe he'll snap out of his funk. if edward values izzy, loves izzy how izzy thinks edward does, he'd see the weight behind the compliment. izzy doesn't sail for just anybody.

it's botched entirely because any time edward tries to voice how "blackbeard" really makes him feel, izzy dismisses/minimizes/mocks it. he isn't supportive to edward because he feels threatened in two parts: that edward finds stede fascinating, and that edward is making a drastic life change for both of them based on yet another mood whim.

to izzy, edward becoming Edward and ditching Blackbeard would mean izzy's lost control of the situation, which means izzy's lost control of edward, which means no one will have control of edward. not even edward himself. this is yet another facet of izzy's codependency.

side note: speaking of names, in the calico jack episode, we know "ed" is a nickname edward doesn't allow people to call him. the only two people who call him "ed" are stede and izzy.

so that begs the question: why did izzy call edward "eddy" in season 2? where the hell does that nickname come from? why does edward use it on himself when he was struggling in purgatory?

based on these two conversations in episode 4, we can glean both sides of the situation. on one side is edward, who is struggling mentally and whose work is deteriorating because of it. on the other side is izzy, who is equal parts concerned about edward and frustrated at him because he isn't functioning as well as he used to, leaving izzy to clean up his messes. since this has been a years-long tension point, they are both at the end of their ropes. about to snap.

that is how we meet them.

from then on, edward begins falling for stede, and his mood shifts. he begins functioning better. stede is genuinely good for him. stede, with his different view on life, provides emotional balance and radical acceptance and a general softness that edward's been missing. he is supportive, he is kind, and he treats edward like edward isn't broken.

but stede is not accustomed to pirate life or its reality. he's naive to the point of foolish. foolish to the point of fatality. and izzy sees those flaw points right away. it's a red flag to him because how can edward — passively suicidal edward — be trusted to not take advantage of stede's naivety and steer them all into a doomed situation?

edward's relationship with stede is also where izzy's jealousy kicks into gear, clouds his judgement.

i mean, shit, wouldn't anyone feel slighted? if you devote your life to a man, stick with him through thick & thin, feel responsible for both of your lives, go above and beyond, worry over his wellbeing, put him before yourself....just for him to run off with a wannabe pirate.

a wannabe pirate who has only known your man for a fraction of the time you and your man have been together. his weeks compared to your years. yet somehow he gets your man's good side, gets the love you desperately want.

of course izzy's seething. wouldn't anyone?

it makes sense for izzy to sell edward and stede out to the british navy. he's spiteful, vindictive. bet there's a bit of hurt pride to it, too. it's fucked! it's a terrible thing to do!

his motive here boils down to, once again, keeping edward alive. cleaning up what he perceives to be another mess. sell stede out, keep edward where he can see him. izzy hates spanish jackie's, he hates the navy, he doesn't enjoy any of it. this is his hail mary, his last ditch effort.

of course it backfires. royally. no one expected edward to call for an act of grace. to sign away his life. izzy tries to stop him, but edward goes where stede goes. and soon after that, edward returns without stede.

and soon after that, the situation deteriorates. edward's launched into a severe mixed episode, triggered by the compounded stress of stede leaving and izzy's rejection of Edward. pressurized speech, emptiness, irritability, suicidal behavior, increased goal-directed activity...he ping-pongs between mania and severe depression. this is more than a break-up.

edward struggles with emotional impermanence. when stede's right in front of him, kissing him, edward feels secure that stede loves him. but when stede doesn't meet him at the dock? Stede Never Loved Me.

another example: izzy. when izzy obeys edward's orders, edward feels secure that izzy loves him. but when izzy speaks up or disagrees? Izzy Never Loved Me.

"he was your friend," jim tells edward, in reference to edward's awful treatment of izzy. but edward, at this intersection of a severe mixed episode + emotional impermanence, can't see that.

he burns his bridges left and right. destroys everything because he's lashing out in pain and he doesn't think he deserves anything good. Blackbeard? sure, he'll be Blackbeard. Blackbeard is all he'll ever be anyways. a killer, a pirate, a crazy captain who does too much rhino horn.

edward hates himself so fiercely that he only finds relief during the storm, right before he believes he's going to die. "finally."

The Codependency Section

edward's relationship with izzy was always going to end in destruction.

they both love each other, we have canon confirmation of this. "i have...love for you" and "i loved you best i could".

edward's confession is critical here, because he did love izzy as best as he could. there exist moments between them that shine light into possible happier times. the way edward talks to izzy to placate him in season 1 when izzy packs a dinghy, even if manipulative at the time, requires intimate knowledge on what izzy would be receptive to. david jenkins mentioned that it was izzy who helped doll edward up for the season 1 ball, an offscreen act of intimacy. edward tries unsuccessfully to connect with izzy over stede's model ship and the clouds. the casual way edward says "i had a dream about you last night."

"best i could." if edward hated himself less, he could have loved izzy more. if he believed he was deserving of love, he could have accepted the fact izzy loves him.

so they both love each other, but love is not enough to combat self-hate. it just isn't. the only opponent to self-hate is self-compassion.

self-compassion is a process you have to choose for yourself. you must work on it yourself, hopefully with the aid of an external support system. self-compassion is separate from self-love and other forms of love because, oftentimes, people who operate under the core belief of Being Unloveable also operate under an assumption that love is conditional. "i'm not enough" / "i'll never be enough" / "i don't deserve love" / "i'm too much". it's unrealistic for someone to jump headfirst into healing when that healing is programmed with restrictions. we are our own worst critic. so to practice self-compassion is to soothe that inner, hater critic until we heal ourselves enough to get to a place where we can practice unconditional love on the neglected self.

the conditional love aspect is one that is modeled. edward grew up in an abusive household. abusers hold their victims out on a string of conditions. furthermore, his mother rejected his interest in fine things by saying that it's not "for people like us". it makes sense for edward to internalize an "i'm not [rich/nice/good/etc] enough" message, thereby shutting himself out.

he continues to shut himself out in the aftermath of killing his alcoholic father. he doesn't tell anyone about the traumatic event — an oscillation into "i'm too much" — until he opens up to stede.

so here you have an unloveable boy, the victim of domestic violence and the killer of his own father, going into the chaotic world of pirating. a world — put so eloquently by calico jack in season 1 — where everyone fucks each other over. where trust is a prized, rare currency.

and somewhere along the way, he and izzy find each other. and they stick together for years.

both edward and izzy bottle their emotions up and then blow up on each other. it's so completely different to how stede & the revenge crew operate. it's years of miscommunication and mutual resentment between them, caused in part due to their pirate enviornment. their pattern is hot and cold. reactive.

izzy smooths over things with the crew -> edward is dismissive of izzy -> izzy blows up on edward and resigns -> edward convinces izzy to stay -> edward begins falling for stede -> izzy and stede fight over edward's heart -> izzy gets exiled for losing, edward says nothing -> izzy goes vindictive mode and sells edward/stede out to the navy -> edward hates izzy's guts -> edward comes back without stede, depressed -> izzy smooths over things with the crew -> edward is dismissive of izzy -> izzy blows up on edward and triggers him -> edward convinces izzy to stay through violence

it's that one friend who keeps returning to their shitty partner — on again/off again —, only here they both are the shitty partner.

the thing about unhealthy relationships is that they provide a layer of comfort. it's known territory. which is why, when an unhealthy relationship morphs into a codependent one, it is incredibly difficult to break out of them.

codependency definition: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.

like conditional love, codependency is learned/modeled inside of a dysfunctional family setting.

it works a bit like an ouroboros in that it's an infinite loop. the codependent partner compulsively takes care of their struggling partner in the hopes they get better. this role of "caretaker" makes them feel needed/wanted, ergo filling their own low self-esteem void. however, all the rescuing does is enable the struggling partner further into self-destruction.

sound familiar?

izzy is edward's caretaker. izzy is codependent.

important note: no one feels good inside of a codependent relationship. there may be positive periods, yes, but codependency is primarily stressful for both parties involved.

in order to blossom, codependency relies on low self-esteem.

we know edward oscillates with his self-esteem, but we don't talk about how low izzy's self-esteem is.

izzy doesn't have an identity outside of edward, with the exception of being one of the best swordsmen in the pirating world. of course, this exception is taken from him when edward cuts his toes off.

izzy is high-strung with a compulsive need for control. things must be done when he orders them to, to the high standards he creates. do not question his authority. this compulsion is exasperated by edward's uncontrollable mood shifts.

izzy rolls with the punches, metaphorically and literally. he shuts down attempts at comfort, evidenced by his knee jerk reaction when fang hugs him in season 2. "i'm fine. unhand me. unhand me!" he doesn't allow himself to fully break down and cry. the tears only appear in this scene, and when edward attempts to get izzy to kill him.

loyal to a fault, izzy threatens to leave, goes to leave, but never leaves. he gets casted out, so he devises a plan to return instead of, i don't know, creating a new life for himself. even when edward maims him, he stays.

so is this loyalty? or is this a belief that this is what he deserves? or maybe it's loyalty born from the belief that this is all he's deserving of.

a hit dog will holler, and boy does izzy holler when questioned. about his role, about himself, about who he is to edward.

so who is izzy without edward?

"you know me better than anyone else and i daresay the same applies with me to you." is an insane thing to say because izzy does know edward, but only the version of edward he stitched his skin to. the unstable, erratic version that needs help, and who he subconsciously sabotages with enablement.

and edward does know izzy better than anyone else because izzy's consumed by him.

if edward could not accept izzy's love in a direct form, then the roles izzy inhabits are his only outlet. Caretaker, Punching Bag, First Mate. 50 ways to say I Love You and none of them are healthy.

they both are violent with each other, drag each other down, but can't quit even when they know that they function better separated. codependency is an addiction, and like an addiction, the only way for this to end was in rockbottom or death.

The S2 Speculation Section

going back to the very top, here's why i say this thing with ed/stede is on thin ice right now: without edward working on his self-compassion, their relationship runs the risk of devolving into yet another unhealthy dynamic.

stede has decent self-esteem, an identity outside of edward, so i don't think they'll ever become codependent. stede also doesn't try to fix or enable edward. again, stede is genuinely good for edward.

i think the Mer!Stede scene was amazing, vital in balancing the heavy topic of suicide/death with the overarching comedy genre of the show. love saves lives, without love the world is bleak. who are we as humans without connection?

that being said, i personally want to see edward heal before jumping into a full-blown romantic/sexual relationship with stede. he deserves to choose himself, nurture Edward, and figure out how to manage his moods. especially since his last relationship with izzy was so tumultuous.

speaking of izzy, i also want to see izzy find himself and heal, too. he needs to learn how to let go. i'm hoping he'll build up his self-esteem in his own way, doing something he's good at (maybe as a sword-fighting instructor?).

either way, i trust the direction this show will go in. they've done well so far in their depictions of mental health and the impact of mental health. it'll be interesting to see the rest unfold.

[kricketscontent]

This Little Life- Sims4 Challenge

This Little Life Challenge

This is a challenge I created to tell stories with your sims. There is a lot left open in each story so you can finish writing each book yourself! It does use certain packs and some can be replaced with something else. I have Listed some mods that would be helpful as well. Have fun and let me know how it goes for you! 

REQUIREMENTS: 

Packs: Get to work, Cats & Dogs, Island Living, City Living

Mods: MC Command Center

NO MONEY CHEATS

SUGESTIONS:

Packs and Stuff: High School Years, Cottage Living, University, Snowy Escape, Horse Ranch, Crystal Creations, Realm of Magic

Mods: Live-in Business, Slice of Life, Base mental (for alcohol) , Shorter University Degrees, SNB, More part Time Jobs

TO START: 

-Your first gen starts as a teen in high school. You can choose to have them start with their parents, or alone. 

-Hard Start: If starting without parents- start with 500 simoleons. If starting with parents they can have starting funds, and your sim will get a part time job. Once your sim is out of their parents start with only saved up money from their part time job. 

-Simple Start: Start with 2000 simoleons. 

-I always suggest adding new townies, places to visit, and things to do around the world you’re playing in at the start of each gen. The gallery is a wonderful place! It adds new things to experience each time! Places like arcades, restaurants, parks, shopping. 

-YOU MUST KEEP AT LEAST ONE PHOTO FROM EACH GEN IN A BOX THAT MOVES DOWN TO EACH HEIR. It is important for the 10th get. If you don’t trust the box (Because you know, sims and glitches) you can keep them on a wall in a hidden basement/attic, or at a cemetery you build to keep them safe. 

GEN 1- Dream Reacher.

The ideal life dream is right in your reach. College, marriage, white picket fences, and babies. You have your high school sweetheart, the college acceptance letter, and your massive self confidence. You’re ready to take on the world and get everything you have dreamed of since your were a child. However, life has another plan. An unexpected pregnancy, a cheating partner, and being outcast by your parents was NOT on your bingo card. They all say that you are SOL. You’ll never attend college, you’ll never get that job you dreamed of. You are trapped with a baby to raise on your own and no way to do it. This only fuels you more, You WILL go to college, you WILL get that job, and you WILL show them! 

Teen Career: Any Part time job

Adult Career: You decide! Get to know your sim as a teen, pick their career and degree. Just be mindful of the careers in the next gens, unless you don’t mind doing a career more than once.

Traits: Self-Assured, Cheerful, as an adult add Jealous

Optional Color Theme: Blue

Teen Years:

-Work hard to get A’s

-Work at advancing in a part time job as much as you can

-If you have SNB put all your earned money into an account.

-Find High School sweetheart (give them the evil trait) and exchange promise rings 

(Optional Hard mode: have pregnancy as a teen instead) 

Adult Years: 

- Accidental Pregnancy with High school sweetheart

- Catch partner cheating and end the relationship

- If you have parents, tell them about the pregnancy and get disowned (you can cheat their relationships to negative if needed) 

- Find a place to live with that you can afford with your baby

- Attend college using student loans (if you don’t have university work part time job while advancing skills for chosen job. Once skills have reached level 5 or higher, join the career.)

- Get dream job and fix up small home for you and your child

From here you decide! Does your sim find love again? Do they have more children? Tell your own story. 

GEN 2- Love is NOT an Option. 

You grew up wanting to know your other parent so badly. You pestered your parent over and over again to learn something, anything! One day, they finally snap and tell you the true story of what happened in your parents relationship, and tell you where to find them. You meet the other parent and boy oh boy are they awful. You were not wanted, your parent was not wanted, and love is dead. From that moment on you vow to be a solo act. You keep a small tight knit friend group that you create a club with. You all spend your time hanging at the library, doing homework, and playing chess. This is all you need. As an adult you put your big brain to work and become a scientist. You slave your days away in your little lab by yourself, until one day you meet someone- a fellow lonely scientist. This someone quickly becomes your best friend. When you both aren’t in the lab, you’re hanging out together having fun. One of those nights leads to beer pong, more drinking, dancing, and….OOPS. Accidental kiss. The morning comes, you’re groggy, and you vaguely remember. OH MY LLAMA. You kissed them?! Now what? 

Teen Career: No job- Focus on the club and the skills

Adult Career: Scientist 

Traits: Genius, Geek, as an adult add Noncommittal 

Optional Color Theme: Green Blue and White

Child and Teen years: 

Make a small group of friends for your geek squad

Spend lots of time building skills to help you in your future career

Seek out your other parent and get a negative relationship with them

Adult Years:

Join the scientist Career

Meet and befriend a co-worker

Hang out with them often on off hours

Have a drunken kiss (using mod to get drunk, or pretend!)

Do they fall in love? Or does this sim have too many trust issues

Have as many children as you’d like by adopting science baby, or with your potential partner! 

GEN 3- Adventure is Out There! 

Dreaming of big open skies, thrill of adrenaline, and going out into the unknown. Reading books about the world beyond the walls of your house. That is all that is ever on your mind. Your parent is not adventurous, not even a little bit. You? You’re ready to try anything and everything. Snow Boarding? Check! Rock climbing? Check! Swimming with mermaids and dolphins? Check! You spend your time discovering secret worlds, and trying the spiciest of foods. There is no time for you to care about your home much, cleaning, or relationships. Just you and the thrill. To pay the bills from your adventures you get a job as in intern at some rocket building place. You only took the job because rockets sound cool and the pay was decent. But you do find yourself getting more into it each day. Maybe you can build your own rocket at home?! Then you can complete the ultimate adventure. Space! One Adventure in space leads to another, and another, and then.. a baby! Oh boy.

Teen Career: Your choice

Adult Career: Astronaut

Traits: Active, Adventurous, as an adult add Slob

Optional Color Theme: Yellow and Orange

Child and Teen Years:

-take off all the time to parks, arcades, and anywhere fun.

-try out the Live Fast teen aspiration

-Work out at the gym and get yourself ready for adventures ahead. 

-Start exploring what you can. 

Adult Years:

-Move into a crappy run down place. You don’t care because you’re never there!

-Explore by snowboarding, swimming, finding secrets, and/or anything you have in the game packs you have. 

-Get a job as an intern in the astronaut career

-Build your own rocket

-Visit Sixam often collecting everything you find.

-Meet an alien and find out what space woohoo is like!

-Have a half alien baby 

You chose from here: Marriage, number of kids, and anything else!

GEN 4- A Little Different Than All the Rest. 

So you’re half alien? No one needs to know that! Except fitting in is harder than you expected, and understanding humans is even harder. You know what isn’t so hard to understand? Animals! Ever since you were little you had special connections with any animals you would see. Your parent let you take in any strays you wanted, and you cared for all animals around you. You didn’t have a lot of human friends, but that’s okay. You even do grocery delivery to avoid seeing people at the market. You have a hoard of animals that love you and that is all you need. 

Teen Career: None

Adult Career: Vet

Traits: Cat Lover, Dog Lover, Socially Awkward. You can give this in any order

Optional Color Theme: Blue and Purple

Child and Teen Years:

Try and fail at making friend ships with people

Meet and befriend lots of strays

Adopt at least one of the strays

Start working on vet skills

Adult Years:

- Work a part time job or odd jobs to make money to buy your own vet. 

Open up a starter vet and start your journey caring for animals

If you use the live in mod, you can run a vet clinic from home!

Meet a partner that loves animals just as much as you, and helps you at the clinic! 

Your house is full of animals and love, so why not add another person to help with all your duties!

Gen 5- Farmers Only

You grew up in a house full of animals. You loved them and learned from them. You also had a very lonely parent who wouldn’t even go to the market to get groceries. So you did the same. Your family stuck together like a pack of wolves. This left you with tendencies of avoiding socializing. So how do you survive? Animals and plants. That’s how! You build up your own farm, selling your crops and animal products. You even spend your time making jams and things to sell. You are fully self sustainable and you wouldn’t have it any other way. All you need is a partner like your parent had to help you run the place and everything is solid. 

Teen Career: None- help out at the clinic

Adult Career: Your Farm

Traits: Loner, Animal Enthusiast, add Good as an Adult

Optional Color Theme: Green and Yellow.

Child and Teen Years:

Spend time taking care of animals and helping at the clinic

Start a small garden 

Spend a lot of your time outside and learning to be self sustainable 

Adult Years: 

Build up a farm

Have the simple living lot challenge

Optional: be off the grid

Have a farming partner to make a family and help tend the farm

If you have cottage living get cows and chickens. You can also get goats and sheep if you have Horse Ranch. 

Gen 6- Sparkles are DISTRACTING

Your family farm was booming. You always needed to help out around the garden. Man did you hate it. You hated harvesting crops, watering plants, and milking cows. You were just a goofy hippie kid that wanted to exist in earths beauty. But one day while pulling weeds you noticed something glittering in the distance. A crystal that must have been left behind by last nights lightning! You smuggled it into your room and placed it on a shelf above your bed. You went to sleep every night thinking about how beautiful it was, and what you could do with it. One night, you sit up in your sleep, you have the best idea! Jewelry. You can make sparkly jewelry that catches other peoples eyes the way the crystal caught yours. You open up your own little hippie shop of crystals, jewelry, and potions. No dirt and animal poop here. Just sparkles. 

Teen Career: Farm

Adult Career: Jeweler or Crystal Sales

Traits: Lazy, Goofball, Creative

Optional Color Theme: Rainbow

Child and Teen years:

Help out on the farm

You’re silly and you’re wild and free

Get easily distracted when you’re supposed to be working on the farm

Find a crystal that starts it all

Adult Years

- Move into a little secluded cottage in the wood

- Start crafting jewelry (or just sell crystals if you don’t have the pack) 

- Learn to make potions (optional) 

- Optional: you can also sell paintings your sim makes. I like to paint from reference in the trees! Any crafted items you can sell.

Again, you choose love life and children. Just make sure to have an heir! 

Gen 7- High Class Life

Bug Bites. Creepy Crawlies. Dirt. Wolves in the wood. You wanted out. Out of this cottage, out of the trees, and into the world. The city is calling your name. As a teen you and your friends would often spend your free time there at festivals or singing karaoke and meeting the best of the who’s who you could find. You wanted in to money, fashion, high rises, and parties. Everything you saw in the city begged for you to take it. Now you just had to figure out how to escape your simple life and move up in the world. The highest paying job takes the win. And a Politician for a spouse is your final goal to really reach the top of that social ladder. 

Teen Career: Part time of your choice

Adult Career: Business Career- Investor Branch

Traits: Outgoing, Ambitious, and Snob

Optional Color Theme: Black, White, and GOLD

Child and Teen Years:

Have your sim visit the city often

Make a group of friends that you bring everywhere with you

Gain a good reputation and make yourself known to people in the city

Never bring your friends to your house- You’re too embarrassed. 

Adult Years:

Start in the Business career and advance quickly. You are a workaholic

Move into an apartment and make it modern.

Have social gatherings at your apartment often to show off you life

Dress high class business all the time. 

Modern, fancy, and expensive is the only way to go for your apartment. 

Meet and marry someone in the politician career. 

Gain at least one star celebrity fame. 

GEN 8- Style Is A Sims Best Friend

The city has so many interesting people. So many fashion choices. Way too many fashion don’ts. That could never be you. You grew up in a polished, expensive home, and you only go for the best of the best. It’s time to correct the world, make and set fashion trends, and get these sims into clothes less painful to the eyes. There is no way you are going to let Kyle Kyleson walk around in a sweatshirt with flip flops for another day! Then you see them. The most unfashionable, messy, ugly sim you have ever laid eyes on. Now this is the project of a lifetime! You can’t just go up to the and tell them ”you’re ugly. Change.” So you befriend them, and learn that they are actually the most beautiful person in the world. Well, on the inside anyway. So you get them to let you give them a make over, and man oh man are they a HOT commodity now. Only problem is- now the world sees them the way you do, and you’ve been too scared to tell them how you truly feel. Now you have a world of competition for their love. Do you regret worrying about looks so much? Is this your karma for living a shallow life. Will you end up together? 

Teen Career: SimFluencer

Adult Career: Stylist

Traits: Creative, High Maintenance, Romantic

Optional Color Theme: Red and White

Child and Teen Years: 

You focus son learning fashion and make up

You make a fashion club

Give your friends make overs

Adult Years:

-Get the stylist job and advance it in it

-Use your skills to set trend and give make overs

-Find an outwardly unattractive and poorly dressed sim that you befriend

-Platonically move in with the sim because you’re too afraid to fess you feelings

-Give them a make over and watch lots of sims start to flirt

-Decide if they end up together, or if your sim missed their chance. 

GEN 9- Lets Go to The Beach, Lets Get Away

Your parent saw beauty in the city. You saw trash, protests, and a lack of care for the world. Plastic bags floating through the air where birds should be. Air the color of green toxic fumes. Not a soul doing anything about it. You vowed as soon as you could, you’d leave that awful place and head for Sulani. But when you do get there, you realize people have trashed that too and big money is trying to turn it into a city. Not on your watch! It’s beach clean up time. You buy a little shack on the beach and get to work. As you pick up trash, and confront littering idiots, you meet someone good for a change. They are chasing down the same litter bug as you and shouting something about restoring Sulani. You have got to hear this, so you invite them out for drinks and chat. They tell you about working as a conservationist and all the good it can do. That is it. That is your dream. You can make a difference. And with this person by your side your team will be unstoppable and Sulani will be clean in no time. You never thought you’d find someone as passionate about a clean world as you. However, they are hiding a secret that reveals the real reason they care about Sulani so much. 

Teen Career: Life guard

Adult Career: Conservationist

Traits: Loves the Outdoors, Hot Headed, Child of the Island

Optional Color Theme: Coral, Light Blue

Child and Teen Years:

-Have an ocean/island themed room

-practice swimming at the local pools often

-Get a job as a lifeguard at the local pools

-Participate in protests you see to try and help

Adult Years:

-Move to a shack in Sulani. 

-Clean up the beach

-Meet a conservationist, go out for drinks, and join the career

-Find out your new friend has a secret- they’re a mermaid 

-Restore Sulani

-Get together with your work friend, or find another beach goer you love. 

-Have a house with a storage attic in it. 

GEN 10- Life’s A book, So Write it. 

Growing up to sunsets on the beach can inspire anyone. Especially you. As a child you would write all day in your diary, you find pen pals and ask them questions to learn all of their stories. You get your inspiration from food. You find a good place to eat, sit down, order, and write as you bite into whatever the dish of the day is. As a teen you, your parent asks you to dig out decorations for Christmas from the attic. You find an old box covered in dust. What could be inside? The box has photo after photo of every gen of your family. Careful you tac them up on the attic wall and study them. What a life your family has lived. From Farmers to business, to space and beaches. The warm breeze from an open window buzzed you to life and you have an idea. A story for each member of the family! You get to work. You freelance write to pay your bills, but you send most of your time writing a ten book series telling the story of each of your family members. The final book a biography about yourself. The ending? Who knows! 

Teen Career: None- Just write!

Adult Career: Freelance Writer

Traits: Bookworm, Glutton, as an adult add Family Oriented

Optional Color Theme: Colors of the Sunset

Child and Teen Years: 

- Write in a journal every day

- Find Pen Pals

- Spend time at the beach, and restaurants a lot to get inspiration. 

Start writing short stories and food reviews to gain skill. 

Go to the attic and find the box or wall of pictures of the family. 

Adult Years:

Work as a freelance artist 

Stay in your childhood home taking care of your parents till the end

Start your Book series about the family. Start at Gen 1, and name each book after the sim in that gen. Always save a copy for yourself and memories! 

The final book, gen 10. Its your turn to write the story from here! 

Thanks for playing,

XOXO Kricket

[libra-stellium]

Saturn conjunct Ascendant

As a 14 degree Pisces rising this was March 12, 2024 to May 8, 2024.

"Bitch wtf is going on????" - me the entire 57 days and it's coming back around in early 2025

Notes from Saturn in Transit - Erin Sullivan

Saturn over the ascendant can be experienced as an extremely dramatic shift from "who you used to be" to "who you will be" but with a rather traumatic period of uncertainty while the no longer useful persona is sloughed off

It’s been a weird timeeeeeee like there’s some things i'm like so excited about that are a “new me” and then there’s some other stuff I’m like 💀💀💀 about and I’m gonna pretend like nothing is happening for a while longer bc this feels like too much change at once 🥲 maybe in 2025 lol my mind has been going nonstop!

The thresholding that is experienced during this time can be a shock to someone who has strongly identified with or has been identified with a particular and definite image

lol I literally introduced myself as an astrologer to someone the other day bc they mentioned astro and me being an attorney never came up and it honestly felt nice 😩 yeah my entire schooling revolved around becoming an attorney but like it doesn’t "feel" like I succeeded at it lmfao and I’m honestly not putting a lot of effort into making it feel like success either so 🙃

Understanding this necessary loss of personal identification greatly reduces stress and allows a more conscious transition into the new self image. The struggle is all about coming to terms with unconscious material in the conscious mind and vice versa

I think so much is happening in my unconscious mind bc I usually remember most of my dreams in complete detail and the last two weeks at least I know I’ve had very longgg detailed dreams but when I wake up I can’t remember it in the part of my brain that can say it into words lol I feel like I’m missing out on messages!

Saturn brings to the ascendant all the manifest experiences and control issues that have dominated the last 14 year extraverted cycle during which the individual learned how to be present and accountable in the conscious world or accomplishments, deeds, and collective goals

"I'm giving myself goals because I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not accomplishing anything." - Me in 2021 a year after getting my law degree lol I feel like it encompasses this whole thing! During this transit I wrote a list of personal goals and they're not outward things like graduation they're more like be consistent with skin care lol the other day I told my aunt I just relaxed and I didn't do anything and she was like if you're so boring why don't you go on a walk and i was like??? I didn't say that?? lol made me not want to say anything else!!

Symbolic of a descent into oneself

When I first read this I was like oooh seems zen 🧘🏾‍♀️ IT WAS NOT ZEN IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES!! It feels like too much pressure to know and be like "this is who I am" i just want to be a pisces rising whose personality changes whenever

Notes from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

You will try to eliminate everything in your life that is not necessary to fulfilling responsibilities

I didn’t do many things just for fun during this time everything had a purpose. I did finish reading two books unfinished from last year and it was in an attempt to spend less time watching videos which worked!

You will become more complex and simpler at the same time

Idkkkk I’m not sure I understand what this even means

You are finishing up tasks going into a 5-8 year period of relatively quiet preparation for a new beginning

I feel like I’ll see this more in 2025 bc right now I don’t really have anything started that needed to be finished lol

You may have less freedom of movement than usual because of the pressure of circumstances and the need to get things done

A week into this I made happy hour plans and I was going to leave work extra early bc I had nothing to do and I got an assignment literally 2 hours before I was going to go! I did finish in 2 hours and went to HH but it was stressful lol

You may have to exert more effort at work in order to get the job done

For real the last month I actually had so much more work at work than usual I was working a full 8 hour day sometimes 😭 usually I have like maybe 8 hours of work a week!

Your superiors may give you even more responsibility than you would choose to have

Facts! The last few days I’ve been essentially training this girl at work and the last day of this transit I finished lol seemed fitting

Do not start out on a completely new project because in a few years you may find that you do not have the material or psychological resources to complete it

This makes me feel like it should be about something big 😂 I have not started any projects lol I did apply to a few jobs but none of them even responded to reject me so that was also unintentionally not started

Good relationships will not suffer but bad ones will break up completely

I feel like Saturn in aqua in my 12H took care of most of the bad relationships already lol so this was fine

You are withdrawing from everything in your life that is in the way of your development during the next few years

Yeah I’ve been more annoyed than usual at people around me who are making the choice to struggle just bc they don’t want to try something new 😩 it’s been making me feel like I can’t be as close to them like it’s contagious 😂

Avoid building a wall between yourself and others because they are important to you now that you are excluding those who do not belong

Yes I’ve been making it a point to actually say yes to events lol but it's hard to keep in contact with people for some reason! I forget to or think that less time has passed and then I check messages and it's been weeks!

This is a productive time

I did get a lot done! I cooked a lot of meals, I washed all my bedding that’s been sitting there since end of last year, I cleaned my fish tank, I cleaned the mildew off my bathroom walls, I put a lot of my clothes away, my recycling pile is way down, I built a storage shelf thing for under my desk, I sewed a skirt, I read and wrote a lot

Follow through on the tasks that need to be done and get your life in shape for the next phase of preparation

I’ve been intentional about this! I made a list of things I want to get out of my saturn return in my 1H and one of those things is clear skin so I’ve been consistent with the routine like actually tracking it on the calendar! Losing weight was another on that list and the last two months I was just focusing on food like getting back into cooking and the last almost 3 weeks I’ve been tracking all my food and even using a food scale. On the last day of this transit I signed up for the gym!

Overall I would give this transit 6/10 😂 the mental anguish was toooo much Omggg I hope it’s easier in 2025 and after that I’m glad I don’t have to deal with this for another 30 years

[magnuficent76]

🖊

Holy shit you on the inbox....... This is so awesome hello.

UHM um this is my oc her name is Melaine. She is a Normal Girl who is a Bug also

A doctor by profession, a biologist by heart, and a mutant through experimentation. Melaine T. Curatella was a renowed name in medicine, a part of one of the most famous families in the interplanetary system, until some horrid event lead her far outside the bounds of sanity... and now, who knows what she's after, using mutagenics and science horrifically in some far off planet? There's only speculation to be done.

Originally from Promethea, came to Pandora with a mission to help everyone who needed medical assistance, eventually ended up setting up her own hospital for the same purpose (free healthcare W). She is surprisingly rarely ever attacked simply because she is nice to people and as it turns out, even the worst of mercenaries would rather not die because of an unaddressed broken bone. Do not mistake this kindness for tolerance however, because she's more than capable enough to defend herself should a threat arise (Trust me scalpel stabs are Way Worse than regular stabs). Extremely competent in what she does to a scary degree, often being called "the Angel of the Wastes" for it. She could probably rearrange someone's entire skeleton if she was up to it. Deep down she has a lot of pent upanger because of how everything in this planet just is so exploited, so ignored, how everyone is clearly struggling but can't do anything about it because of the ideals that are perpetuated. She hates hates hates hates it so bad and she WANTS to do something too but, where is she even supposed to start right ? Well, "not letting everyone die constantly because of turf wars and meaningless violence" is probably a start.

Gets really passionate about everything really fast. Once she decides she likes or supports something, it would take hell freezing over to make her change her mind. This stubborness and resilience is what allows her to keep moving even throughout the most awful of situations, even in the face of the worst of adversity, she will come out on top covered in blood and permanently changed but she will stand by her extremely strict set of morals or so fucking help me. Melaine has a bad tendency to overlook special case scenarios because of this as well because she really dislikes the idea of being wrong about anything, which is how she feels after you tell her that things aren't just forever set in stone. Probabilities and other such interference don't matter to her, because only one version of every situation exists in her mind. This severely limits her ability to navigate new situations because she doesn't have the proper equipment to understand them, and it frustrates her beyond belief, so she does anything and everything to classify it as something she's already familiar with. Nothing else matters but my understanding of it, my classification, my experience, MY method. This woman would rather spend 5 years on the same argument than admit she maybe miscalculated. Totally not taking after her mom <3

After everything goes down in the story, she has to escape everything and ends up crashing back on her home planet, which is ironic for her giving she said she'd never go back under any circumstances, but I think the circumstance of "My husband is possibly dead and a company wants to take me + our 2 young kids out too just for being associated with him" is kind of a special case. This does not make her feel hopeless as much as it just makes her ANGRY. Injustice runs loose everywhere, with the worst people you've ever seen having most of the power and thus perpetuating it, while you're just getting kicked down over and over after climbing the ladder. It's humiliating, it's awful, and it makes her so fucking mad. This kickstarts her descent into madness and obsession after the concept of justice, something she herself has to do, because clearly nobody else knows how to. No one else knows justice how she does, and therefore, she must be the one to instill it.

Has been fascinated by insects and other arthropods ever since she begun to talk. Most namely, the Praying Mantis. If left to her own devices she would infodump about bugs for days at a time. Their exoskeletons and surprisingly tough claws and their big stupid eyes just captivate her, to a point where almost everything she owns has a mantis pin. This fixation takes a weirder turn later in the story as she attempts to BECOME a mutant version of one, often using several chemicals and other substances on herself to achieve what she considers "the perfect predator form". She's very normal about it and she would never perform any particularly unethical experiments to achieve such a goal. She is not doing it for any nefarious reasons (like say, especialized murder) and would never awaken cannibalistic urges within herself after all that. Don't worry about it !👍

Lookit her <3

Despite it all, she loves a lot. She is enamored by the beauty of life and understanding it is only her goal because of how much she appreciates every little detail of it as well. She loves helping people and she loves her husband and she just wants to keep loving things but unfortunately the world wants to make her Insane Constantly.

[obsoleteozymandias]

Hi! I saw your requests are open so I was wondering if I could get a matchup for Resident Evil, any character if fine with me. Sorry if mines a bit long. Feel free to detail or take your time with it.

Nonbinary, She/They, Bi-oriented demi romantic gray ace

INFP 4w5

In short: A shy, informed of being too empathic, depressed, and autistic college student, studying at the moment radiology, but works as a freelance journalist and occasional host on different podcasts with a focus on bettering society through education. Has a record for chronically getting in over their head, but has emerged a jack of many trades due to that. Comically experienced best example was when I got onto a podcast hosted by experts in a bunch of fields and I just graduated hs but was able to discuss topics ranging from development of ai to causes of cultural polarization, with me and the psychologist bouncing off each other in discussion quite a bit, for a couple hours with them.

Personality: Quiet and shy, only really opening up as I work, see someone needing help, or notice a common interest. I have been called mom by many people due to how deep running my older sibling instincts are. I have a mask of confidence due to often working with people years older to hide a fear of rejection. My work as a journalist has led me to see some of the worst in people, so I can come off a bit tired but I try to use my experiences to help others. I tend to speak with a large degree of candor and I’ll spring off whenever I hear someone say to make a joke or affectionately poke fun at something. I’m also known as the cockroach because of my sheer tenacity to survive situations that would bring a lot of people down. While I don’t seem like the sort to take charge, I will if I see things go downhill with efficiency to make sure everything that needs to be done gets done.

Appearance: 5 foot 6 inches and gonna say this since I saw you know TWST is the fact I basically look like a shorter Malleus with brown eyes and glasses like Azul. I tend to dress in sweater vests, waistcoats, and button ups but I do love my leather jacket. Some days, I’ll look more feminine other days I’ll wear my binder. Additionally, I also sometimes wear a brace on my elbow due to an injury I got due to the amount of desk work I do.

Likes: Coffee, having time for a nap, going down random rabbit holes of research, media analysis, writing, working on my novel, making different drinks and food, punk, and rock.

Dislikes: Bigots, loud crowds, unrealistic expectations, conformity, people that have a simmering anger, and environments that leave people on the edge.

Me in a relationship: Very much more of an unspoken affection sort of person, I’ll make small changes to things or add steps in my daily routine to help my partner. I also am a bit cuddly, though only after people gain my trust, as I’m a tad touch starved. Cooking is another thing that I will do, especially with trying to figure out things that bring happy memories and such.

What I look for: Someone who can make me laugh and is willing to listen. Doesn’t cause feeling walking on eggshells constantly. People that care for others and are empathic. Able to deal with some distance at times due to needing time to mentally sort things. Acceptance of flaws and quirks but willing to help each other grow.

Have a good day, night, whichever is applicable to you, and thank you for your time.

Not that it matters because wikis exist, but I feel like I should mention that the last ResE game I played was the original 4 back when I was young. Everything else is just fandom osmosis if I’m being real, so if anyone reads this and is like “yeah Oz you dink it’s obvious” I apologize. 

Hope you enjoy!

== Resident Evil==>

I match you up with…

Rebecca Chambers 

Rebecca is the epitome of caring and empathetic, not to mention extremely intelligent and capable. She’ll keep up with you like few others can. 

As such, she’ll understand when you need space. And she’ll need it herself - she’s a busy gal. 

I imagine this is somewhat of an unspoken relationship - where the things you need to say are communicated with loving looks and gestures, and where it feels like you two may even be psychically connected. 

You also share a passion for activism. She’s been through hell, and so her dedication to making the world a better place is on par with yours. 

When you first meet, she’s the kind of person who you find yourself talking to for hours, completely out of nowhere. She’s easy to like, and what's more, she likes you, and likes hearing what you have to say. 

She’s also someone who you can feel comfortable around given her younger age. 

You both have the same way of behaving due to having to be around those who are alot older than you. 

She’ll be a stable figure in your life when you two start dating (which I imagine would be after a long few years of friendship under which romantic feelings simmer unsaid). She’s there when you need her, and even when you don’t, and she won’t hesitate to step in or help you. 

At the end of the day, it can sometimes feel like it’s you and her against the world. But maybe, together, you two can change that. 

[gauntlets-shot]

Knowing your partner well can potentially make writing together a lot easier

Name: Royal

Pronouns: She/they

Preference of communication: Discord since its more mobile friendly than tumblr IMs

Name of muse(s): Vi and Caitlyn Kiramman

Experience/how long (months/years?): Geez uhh I wanna say...less than a decade but more than 5 years. I did have breaks within those 5ish years though, different fandoms/lost muse/school were the primary reasons

Best experience: Just one? Hm well I'd probably just vaguely say some 1x1s on discord. At that time, I was writing OCs and most of them were wlw ships and ofc I'm a sucker for wlw content so yeah, being able to expand my own OCs and discover other people's was (is) really fun!

RP pet peeves/dealbreakers: It's not really a pet peeve or a deal breaker but one liners. Can't really work with them, I need a little meat to give something fun back haha. Also implementing major character changes into a thread/RP without discussing first, for example killing my muse or vice versa. I'd really love a heads up or if we talk about it first. Adding onto that but this is obvious, godmodding. Please don't control my muse to the point where I can't put in some action/help roll the thread/RP along for the both of us

Muse preference (fluff, angst or smut?): A N G S T! Forgive me my muses, but I am such a sucker for angst. Breaking them down is fun in such a twisted way but I love delving into all that drama, what makes muses tick, what makes them throw everything aside for one person/purpose

Plots or memes: Plots! Even if there is a vague discussion of what we wanna do, I love planning little details/background info for our muses/RP

Long or short replies: This one I actually had to think about as I love both. That being said, I'd probably prefer longer replies (from me or the other party) since every juicy detail is packed in and I can better envision what our muses are doing/going through. The emotion of our muses in a thread really comes out the longer it is, though of course I would never expect anybody to write to a certain degree

Best time to write: Night. I can't focus for most of the day so when everything is dark and I'm left alone with some good music, I can write for hours (and completely wreck my sleep schedule but shhh)

Are you like your muse(s): Somewhat. I'd like to think I am a nice mix of both Caitlyn and Vi. I sure as hell am not as smart as Caitlyn but I'd like to think I'm as analytical as she is. And for Vi, well...I'm a masc lesbian. That's all you need to know lmfao

Tagged by: @ferinehuntress

Tagging: @everybodysenemies, @tealsteel and anybody else that wants to!

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

CHAPTER 16

THE NANNY: CHAPTER 16

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: Working and single parenting is not easy. Andy needs to find a nanny for his son Jacob. Annie, an education degree student at Lasell University, comes to their lives just in time for the big changes in Andy’s life.

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Smut, language, explicit sexual content.

A/N: They finally go out on a date… we will know about Andy’s past and things will get steamy! Wrap it before you tap it!

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

Word count: 2865

GIF not mine, if its yours, please let me know to give you credit :)  

                                     ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Saturday, late morning, Annie felt drained. It was around noon when she got up and went to the bathroom, the reflection in the mirror showed her red puffy eyes, and she splashed her face with cold water. She get out of the bathroom colliding with Andy.

“Shit! Sorry honey. You ok?”

“Yeah” Annie rubbed her eyes. “I’m tired.”

“Maybe you should go back to sleep. I know having anxiety attacks take a lot of energy so I think…”

“I didn’t have an anxiety attack” she answered defensively.

“Very well,” Andy didn’t want to argue with her “Whatever you say honey. Can I get a kiss?”

She smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.

“Alright I have to leave now, have to buy some things. I see you in our date.”

“Date?” Annie looked at Andy befuddled. “You still wanna date me?”

“Of course I do!” Andy give her a quick kiss “why wouldn´t I?”

“Because of what happened last night” Andy just stared at her “I’m damage.”

“You’re not damage. He hurt you, but what happened doesn’t define who you are, and certainly doesn’t define why I’m in love with you.” Annie was taken aback about by his confession, “And if you think I’m gonna miss my shot to take you out, you are completely insane.” Andy give her another kiss “I see you later. Be ready by 5.”

Andy left the house and she came back to her room and decided to rest some more to have energy for their date.

Annie heard Andy came back around 4 p.m. and went to his room to take a shower, on the meantime she was in her room choosing what to wear for their first date. She was incredible nervous, she lived with the guy and still her stomach was the nest of a bunch of butterflies that didn’t want to go away, she couldn’t even have lunch. She changed her outfit at least 5 times, going for simple and casual to sexy and everything in between, it didn’t help that Andy wasn’t telling her where they were going; he said anything will be fine, but what if it wasn’t? It was almost 5 when he put the last outfit she had chosen, a red sundress, with short sleeves, it was a little above her knee and she opted to wear a pair of white tennis. She turned to see herself in the mirror, it was simple, comfortable and she felt cute. She was finishing her make up when the doorbell rang a couple of times.

“Andy! Can you get the door, please?!” But the doorbell kept ringing. “Argh! Andy?!” She left her room and went towards Andy’s only to find it empty so she went downstairs. “Coming!”

When she opened the door she found Andy standing there with a bouquet of pink daisies and a wide smile spread on his face at her flabbergasted expression.

“Hi! Ready to go?” Andy was wearing jeans, a white polo shirt, black letter jacket and tennis shoes.

“I… wait, what?”

“I decided to give you the whole dating experience. If I’m missing something please just tell me cuz I haven’t done this in almost four years.” Andy stepped into the house “You look lovely” gave her a kiss on the cheek, “These are for you.” He handed her the bouquet.

“Thank you, how you know they’re my favorite?”

“I asked Sharon last night when you were in the bathroom.”

“Of course you did. You’re cute. I girl can get used to this.”

“Please do.”

“Let me put them in water, grabbed my jacket and we can go.”

“Perfect!” Andy followed her to the kitchen, “You have a great house.”

“hahahaha thanks! It’s my boss’, he’s a lawyer.”

“Sounds impressive. I better not mess up with you then.”

“You better not, he is a menace.”

After Annie grabbed her denim jacket, they both jumped to the car. Andy drove throughout Newton and out of the city.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

It wasn’t a long drive, 20 minutes at most. Andy turned in the middle of a dirty road, no houses, no pavement, and he kept driving until the floor was covered with grass and she saw all Newton from above.

“Oh my god! Andy, this place is beautiful. How did you find it?!” Annie stepped out of the vehicle, Andy following behind and walked to get a better view of the town.

“I come here every time I need to think. I don’t believe people in Newton know about this place. Is always desolate.” Andy walked to his car “Can you help me?”

Annie came to assist Andy taking out a fluffy blanket and some cushions while he carried a huge basket. They placed everything on the floor and Andy took out the food and plates for their picnic. He had a bit of everything in that basket, juice, soda, wine, water, salad, fruit, sandwiches, pasta, croissants, strawberry jam and chocolate spread. Annie was amazed at the many options they had to eat.

“I thought to take you to a restaurant, but we went to one last night.”

“You said last night didn’t count.”

“Well, we can still go to the restaurant if you want.” Andy looked a bit disappointed.

“Andy, I´m just joking, this is perfect, thank you.” She kissed him and he smiled. “You put quiet the effort with the food.”

“I bought it, I didn’t want to screw things up, and if I made this at home you would have noticed. So, what can I serve for the lady?”

“I want pasta and salad for now.”

“For now? I love a girl with a great appetite.”

“I didn’t have breakfast or lunch, I’m starving.”

Andy took a sandwich and serve a glass of wine for Annie and he took a beer out for him. They were eating and talking about work and school, they were almost finished and the sun was setting when Andy phone dinged, he opened the text he got and showed Annie his phone. Jake was on screen, a video of him and Luis swimming in a pool.

“He is having a great time.”

“Seems like it. I’m glad he is having fun. Let’s take a picture and send it to him.” Annie took Andy’s phone, putting the selfie camera, “Ready?” Andy place himself behind her, taking her by the waist fully smiling to the camera. They took a couple of pictures, one of them Andy kissing her in the cheek, and another where they were kissing on the lips. They send the first picture to Jake and the rest were send to Annie’s phone.

“We will talk to him when he is back.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Hit it.”

“What happened to Jake’s mom?”

“Oh God” Andy sighed and sat up straight.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“What do you think happened?”

“Well, based on the fact that you never mention her, nor Jake; I assumed she died.”

“No, she is pretty much alive. Her name is Laurie and she left me. She left us almost three years ago.” Annie’s attention was full on him so he continued. “I met her when we were studying in New York, and you know things happened, and we got pregnant, so I asked her to marry me and she said yes. After we graduated they offer me a job here, so we moved, Jake was born here, and everything was fine for a while, until it wasn’t.” Annie took Andy’s hand and intertwined her fingers with his, “I worked, and she stayed home with Jake. We weren’t intimate anymore, we started to fight over stupid stuff and on Jake’s first birthday she left.”

“What?” Her voice shook.

“I went to work, and when I came back she wasn’t there, nor her things. Jake was crying in his crib, alone and dirty, with a note next to him, where it said she couldn’t be with me anymore that she didn’t want to be a mother and she wanted a divorce.” Annie sobbed, she couldn’t picture baby Jake all alone in his birthday. “Hey” Andy turned to see her with a single tear rolling on her cheek “I’m sorry honey, I’m making you upset.”

“I can’t believe someone will just leave Jake. He was just a baby, he needed his mom.” She said with a trembling voice.

“Yeah but, apparently she didn’t need our son. I went to look for her and tried to get her back.”

“And what did she do?”

“She went back to New York. She had gotten together with someone, and he offered her things that at the time I didn’t have, money, stability, and her dream job in a gallery. She send me the divorce papers a month later, along with a letter where she said she was resigning to every parent right over Jake.”

“Has Jake ever asked about her?”

“No, not really. I actually think he believes the same thing you did, that she is dead. And is better this way, I don’t have the heart to tell him his mother left because she didn’t want him.” Annie nodded, “You know Jake’s nightmares? I took him to a psychologist once, she asked me a bunch of questions, had Jake to make some drawings and told me it probably had to do with Laurie and her abandonment, but she wasn’t sure. With time the nightmares have subsided, because I manage to convince Jake the monster is not real, and that is not going to hurt him, but you know he still has them once in a while. I hope one day he doesn’t have to go through that.”

“He has to keep going to the psychologist Andy. Is not just a one-time thing. They need a couple of sessions before they can give you a proper diagnosis. I can go with him if you want. I want Jake to have a healthy childhood, and we can make that happen.”

“Why would you do something like that?”

“Cuz I love Jake, he is such a sweet boy and is unfair he is having these nightmares because of what he went through.”

Andy got closer to her and give her a slow passionate kiss that took her breath away.

“I love you.” He said, Annie’s face lighted up “You don’t have to say…”

“I love you too.”

The sun set, and they stayed there laughing, joking and drinking, from the viewpoint they saw the wonderful view of Newton’s lights at night. They were laying on the blanket kissing, the soft breaths and little moans Annie left out were making Andy hard and she could feel him against her tight.

“Andy…” Annie said out of breath.

“I’m sorry,” Andy lifted his body with his arms. “I’ll stop.”

“Take me home.” She said shyly.

“What?”

“Now, please.”

As soon as they walked into the house, they were all over each other. Kissing against the wall, Annie took off Andy’s jacket, her hands going under his shirt while Andy leaned to kiss her neck, his hands touching and grabbing her ass. They broke the kiss.

“We don’t have to do this, honey.”

Andy caressed her cheek and she smiled, took him by the hand and guide him to his room. Andy will be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, he hasn’t been with anyone since Laurie, and didn’t want to push Annie into anything she wasn’t ready for. Once in there, she walked towards the bed, took her shoes off and her dress. Leaving her in just her white cotton panties. She climbed in the bed placing herself in the middle looking at Andy. He took off all his clothes except for his boxer briefs, Annie never missing a movement he did while doing so.

Andy crawled on top kissing her gently, his hand touching the side of her body. His lips going down on her breast taking a nipple in his lips, sucking it softly while he massage the other, his hand went down and touched her through her panties, a moan escaping Annie’s lips.

“Andy, please.” Her hips move against Andy failing at feeling any friction with his body. The pool between her legs growing by the minute.

“Tell me when you want to stop.” Andy hooked his fingers on her panties leaving her bare for him, her glossy pussy in full view for his hungry eyes, the tuff of curly hair on top was inviting. Andy kissed her thighs so close to her pussy but not going there.

“Andy…”

His tongue licked her pussy with a long stripe, Annie’s moans filling the room, her hips moved against Andy’s face and he placed a hand on top of her tummy to make her stay in place. Her hand grabbed Andy’s hair while he kept eating her like he was having the best meal in the world, he grabbed her right leg and put it on his shoulder. His lips took her clit sucking it slowly and inserted one of his fingers in her and started pumping, feeling the tightness of her pussy. He added another finger.

“Fuck! Please, don’t stop.” Annie plead.

Andy’s fingers moved faster, feeling her pussy tighten around his digits, his mouth never leaving her pussy.

“Andy!”

“I know honey, cum for me.”

She came around his fingers, her body shaking at the explosion in her core, her thighs closed around Andy’s head. When the wave of pleasure fade away, her legs opened, making Andy giggled a bit. His hair was a mess, a lustful smile on his face.

“You look so fucking gorgeous right now.” Andy came to her face and kissed her, savoring her own taste on his lips.

“It’s your turn.”

Andy took off his boxers and his hard cock sprung free, it was thicker and a bit longer than Daniel, He sat against the headboard, Annie bating her eyelashes before taking him in her hand. Her tongue gave him a small lick over his head before sucking it. Andy’s moans were deep and manly, sending electricity through her body and hitting right in her core. She took as much as she could in her mouth, making her eyes watery, moving her head up and down, and hollowing her cheeks, she gagged when the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat.

“FUCK!” Andy cursed, taking a hand full of her hair.

Annie kept bobbing her head, and twisting her hand in the rest of his shaft he couldn’t fit in her mouth.

“Honey… fuck!” Andy’s cock twitched in her mouth “Stop, stop, stop!” Annie took his dick out of her mouth.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked timidly.

“No, God no, you have a talented mouth.” She smiled feeling proud “I was just about to cum.”

“I don’t mind.” Annie said leaning towards his cock, but Andy stopped her.

“I rather be inside you.”

Annie approached Andy straddling his lap, the tip of his cock gracing at the entrance. Andy grabbed his dick by the base, while Annie steady herself using his shoulders, sinking in gradually until he was fully in and they moaned. Andy took her by her ass making her go up slightly and going down again, she began to move with Andy’s help, her small breasts bouncing with the movement. She felt full, Andy’s cock hitting all the right places in her pussy, her clit rubbing against his pelvis when she grinded her hips back and for. They hold their hands, Andy feeling her pulsing pussy against his manhood.

“Andy, I’m gonna cum.”

Andy grabbed her by the waist, thrusting hard against her. Annie’s moans grew louder.

“Come on, honey, give it to me.”

“Andy!” she choke out, head falling on his shoulder, her orgasm washing over her, Andy following right after her, spilling his seed in her warm pussy. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, Andy’s dick inside her, giving her small kisses in her shoulder.

“I love you” she whispered without looking at him.

“Don’t get all shy on me, look at me.” He nudged his nose on her neck. She turned giving him a tired smile. “Hello there. You good?”

“Yeah, more than good.”

Andy turned with her on top, his dick slipping out of her pussy, making her flinch at the lost. Annie make herself comfortable on the left side of the bed, fatigue washing over her body, her eyes feeling heavy. Andy stood up, went to bathroom and came back with a washcloth to clean himself and Annie. When he came back she was peacefully sleeping, he moved her to open her legs, and groaned at the wet sensation against her pussy.

Andy came back to bed, covering her and taking his side of the bed, he took her leg and put it over his hip, his cock was still hard so she pushed inside her, making her moan.

“Shhhhhh, go to sleep.” She complained a little, but kept sleeping none the less. “I love you, honey.” He closed his eyes, tiredness taking over his body, a content smile on his lips.

[diamondshapedcat]

Dehumanization. That's what it was. That's what it is. All I wanted was a place at the table, a level playing field. The opportunity to work among everyone else in the world.

That's what they told me in school. They said that I should think about what job I wanted when I was older. That there was so many options out there. So I picked one and started to learn how to fix cars. And they set me up to fail, probably thinking that this autistic person was just being silly for wanting to work. 'Awww he thinks he's people' 'Let the little guy pretend he's smart' All said behind my back of course but looking back I can tell they were thinking it. After 3 years of learning and unsuccessful applications I found out why I wasn't getting anywhere. In addition to the qualifications I needed hands on experience as well. Everyone else was working part time in a garage and never told me. I spent 3 years on a worthless degree because I never got the practical time to go with it.

But I foolishly didn't give up, I kept trying to make it work and be more flexible. I felt that I had to prove that I could do it and make something for myself. I learnt and listened to every bit of advice I could about interview skills and job hunting stuff. I picked up new skills, did the song and dance routine again and again.

But they were only interested in what I didn't have. A neurotypical brain. The world said you have to work, you have to get a job but that assumed that you were neurotypical. I kept going and going, listing to their false reassurances and lies that I would get it next time and I just need to try a little bit harder. Despite everything I kept going despite my mental health spiraling downwards into the toilet and suffering from depression. I dug my nails into the false hope that I would get it next time. I based my self worth on getting a job and that blinded me to every horrible ugly truth about this world. I felt like I had to get a job because I wanted to be able to look after myself without having to worry about anything. It was my world and I made it my sole reason for existing.

In 2021 I finally had enough and told my job advisor at the time to pull his finger out of his arse, stop bullshitting me and get me a job. Of course realising that I had seen through the lies he let me go.

That was a good day and even now it brings me a smile.

That was the day the pain stopped. The day I walked away. The day I regained my humanity. When the healing started.

For a while I kept applying for jobs on my own. trying out whatever tricks I could think of. Over the 15 or so years I lost, I notice that as time went on I met less with people and more with automated applications. It got worse, in other words. Another barrier put up to stop me. I struggled with people who didn't care and algorithms that couldn't care. If by some miracle I managed to get to a person, they would figure out I was autistic within 5 minutes and another day would be wasted.

The biggest thing I learned was that no was the only answer I would get. Again and again no matter what I did, I was told I was worthless. Come back where you are human. And I believed it. What I should have learned was that I should have told them to fuck off and not give a shit about their rigged game but that just made me try harder to prove myself. If my best wasn't considered human that what was I? Did I not have worth? Did the world see me as nothing more than a problem that no one wanted to deal with?

Dehumanization.

So that brings me to today. Free from the pain and discrimination but with too much time and nothing to do. I forgot how to be human and I'm relearning my self worth. Not to value myself entirely on my employment status.

I know that one day I am going to forced back into that hell, and I won't survive. I will be broken down again and again to the point so that when I finally throw myself off a bridge I won't feel anything when I hit the ground because I will already be dead inside.

For now I'm just going to try and enjoy life while I can.

[apparentlybychance]

About babygate…

I haven’t been in this fandom very long. Certainly not since 2015, though I have always been a big fan of 1D music. I have read so many good, balanced, takes on this situation from @sadaveniren @skepticalarrie and @twopoppies, as well as others. If you haven’t read their thoughts, you should jump over to their blogs to check them out. But, here I wanted to offer my thoughts on babygate for whatever it’s worth.

We know that along with the global fame, money and adulation, all 5 of the boys of 1D went through an extremely abusive situation that they’ve mentioned or eluded to many times over the years since the hiatus. It wasn’t just the soul-crushing closeting that Harry and Louis experienced. If you’ve ever read about any of Rebecca Ferguson’s experiences, you know there was a pressure to perform no matter the physical strain or exhaustion, drugs provided and pushed to find the energy and enthusiasm and horrible mental abuse of all kinds. I honestly feel there was more abuse that none of them have ever discussed. Let’s face it, they were 5 beautiful boys in the entertainment industry with no one truly looking out for them except themselves. There are predators of all kinds out there.

The entertainment industry as a whole is incredibly abusive, especially to the young and naive. There is big money to be made. I’m honestly surprised all 5 of them are as well-adjusted today as they are. That is a huge accomplishment for them.

If you’ve ever known anyone who was in a long term abusive situation, you know that making decisions is very hard for them. They don’t trust themselves. Most of them blame themselves to some degree for the abuse. They tell themselves that they should have removed themselves from the situation, they should have said no, they should have been stronger. People that have been in abusive situations are notoriously harder on themselves than anyone else. That’s why correct decisions that are so obvious to someone else aren’t so obvious to them. They are terrified of making another mistake and of trusting themselves to know the right response.

I think this is what we’re seeing with babygate. Louis is a good person who is characterized by protecting others even to the detriment of his own goals, success, and livelihood. That’s not opinion, it’s a fact. I think he’s struggling with the right response to this situation because in addition to himself, others (like Harry and maybe others he cares about that we don’t know about) will be exposed and attacked for a situation he had no choice about in the beginning.

I don’t think his lack of action has anything to do with money. He has plenty of money already and I think if he’s learned anything, he’s learned there is more to life. Common People anyone?

I think it may have something to do with the fact that with Faith in the Future, he finally has a chance to have success on his own terms. Finally has a chance to redeem what has been stolen from him. He’s terrified to lose that. He’s gripping that with both hands and doesn’t want to let go for anything. That may be selfish on his part, but it makes sense he’d feel that way with everything he’s gone through.

So where does that leave us as his fans? First, I do think it will end. I think he knows it needs to end and desperately wants to be out from under it. But he’s feeling conflicted on timing because of the unknown response to the announcement. I also know, based on who he’s shown himself to be over 12 years, he knows this is wrong. Of course he does. He’s still the same guy. Just one who hasn’t made the right choice yet.

Every fan has to decide how much they are willing to support him. It’s a personal choice. I, personally, have decided to give him grace through this because I don’t know what he’s dealing with and because I know his indecision is motivated by fear and by past abuse instead of greed and cruelty.

This is how I feel today. If this is still going on even next year I may grow tired of giving him grace and bow out of the fandom like so many others I’ve watched do it just in my short time here. So no judgement on my part for anyone who makes that choice now.

But, I have HOPE for a happy, healthy, prosperous and stunt-free new year for all of us in this Larryverse we’ve found ourselves in together!

Lots of love to you all! ❤️

[springonyans]

10 things I would tell myself 10 years ago, my 16 year old self

You don't have to live with feeling like you don't deserve to. You are loved, and deserving of as many chances at happiness as anyone else (your friends, your cousins, and people you admire on the internet). The years that follow up will be difficult. But you will experience joy and love that you won't trade for anything else. I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't deserve to live at such a young age. Oh, did I also tell you that you end up finding a real, genuine love who cares for you so much? You won't even believe it. I still can't believe it til' this day.

You are smart, there is no doubt about that. But you need to learn how to maintain and grow from that, and build better learning strategies just like any other people. Do not rely on your memory and how you had a head start than most people to push you through the next part of your life. Work hard, put in the hours to really understand your materials, and don't think you're better just because it was easy for you in the previous 5 years.

You eventually got to afford nearly everything you want in your life. But you developed a strong financial responsibility that I am very proud of. You can still buy things you want, but you'll slowly find out that they don't actually add as much value as you want to just impress other people. PS: none of the things you bought actually follow you into adulthood. But the things people have given you - the things you appreciate greatly - they are still with you. I'm also proud of you for being responsible with money throughout your childhood and young adult years.

You end up visiting Japan, Australia, and South Korea. Isn't that crazy? You managed to fund most of these expenses as well from your new job. You'll do just fine without a medical degree.

You should've pursued all the things you wanted in life other than what was prestigious. There is a slight regret to the choices you made later on, but don't ever doubt yourself that you can't achieve those things. You can, and you did. Go with your heart.

Take care of your health. It only got worse after you reached an older age, but you need to stop punishing yourself for having an illness. Take a stroll.

It's okay to hate your circumstances. You're unapologetically true to yourself and I'm proud of you. It's alright to not like the people you live with, because they make you feel small. You only recognise that you were right to feel your emotions because of reasons beyond your control. You're doing just right.

You should start drawing like you wanted to.

You have the capability to take care of people you care about in the later years. You don't have to feel ashamed for your circumstances.

Spend more time with your mum. Forgive your dad. Talk to them nicely and try to cheer them up. They've rarely showed you times when they feel depressed as you are. And let me tell you: They do feel depressed, the way that you do. Your time with them is limited and is only reducing. You can live and still thrive despite the things you could not control.

I think I was really hard on myself when I was 16. I spent a lot of the years afterwards trying to understand myself. I didn't end up doing well in school as I did when I was 16. But that's okay, a lot of things turn out for the better anyway. I hope I can use this as a reflection for the life that I'm about to live next.