#except the idea was tied to something pointless

[heyclickadee]

So, here’s the thing. The finale is weird. Yes, I’m hurt by the fact that Tech didn’t come back and that a character that’s very near and dear to my heart was badly handled, and that will never sit right with me. But even apart from that, the finale fundamentally does not function as a piece of storytelling or as the end to this story. I’m glad that people are enjoying it, and I will never tell anyone not to. But I don’t think it works. (I get very negative about the TBB finale under the cut.)

It’s not just the Tech stuff or the CX-2 stuff (which may very well have been the same stuff) that got dropped. It’s *everything*. Every theme, Every narrative thread besides retrieving Omega, every character arc except marginally Omega’s, Echo’s (also marginal), and Emerie’s, which was the shortest and gets wrapped up by her deciding to help Echo rescue the kids. It all stops. It makes everything that came before seem cheap and pointless if you take it into account. And this is so, so frustrating for me, because the entire show was driving towards this incredibly rich payoff, it could have been immaculate, and then it whiffed the ball so bad in the last episode that it didn’t just miss, it managed to knock over the bleachers and set the entire court on fire.

Some examples:

1. This season had a really interesting exploration of Crosshair’s PTSD via his hand tremor and how it was something he can learn to manage, but not something that would ever fully go away. Aaaaand then his hand gets chopped off. One, that was stupid. I’ve seen some excellent posts (here’s one by @the-bi-space-ace) detailing why that was a terrible way to handle Crosshair’s lingering trauma, and others talking about how the idea there was that Crosshair needed to move on and it was severing his last ties with the empire. The former, I agree with; the latter, I don’t, because not only—not only!—does this episode stop dealing with Crosshair’s trauma, it doesn’t even deal with having cut off his hand! It just sort of occurs. No one reacts to it, no one says anything about it, there’s no follow up or commentary, nothing happens as a result—it’s an event which occurs with no results coming after it. It may as well be an animation error. You can say it was about Crosshair needing to let go and move on, but that’s something you have to project on to the text, not something that’s actually offered by it. It’s empty.

2. Crosshair again: We also have the lingering issue of Crosshair’s guilt and the fact that he never seems to get to a point where it’s resolved. There’s set up for a resolution. We have that, “Sure you have,” like about Crosshair from Rampart. We also have Crosshair saying he deserves whatever happens to him in Tantiss. And then…no pushback. No resolution. No moment of Crosshair realizing that he doesn’t need to carry that burden. Nothing that says he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He had all this character development this season, but he needed - last little push to forgive himself—and we never get any indication that he does. It, like his trauma, gets dropped like a rock.

3. Hey! More Crosshair! A good chunk of Crosshair’s arc this season was about learning that anyone can change, first, and that no one is beyond saving. Eeexcept that goes no where.

4. Which brings me to my next point: There is set up for the CXs to be saved. Even if we’re laboring under the conclusion that CX-2 was never intended to be Tech at any point in the writing process (I have. Doubts. Yes, I’m calling the creative team liars, here, but with the understanding that they have contracts that may require them to lie), we do have the set up where we learn the electrocyanide zappers can be removed, and with Rex offering forgiveness to CX-1. “Whatever they did to you, whatever you’ve done, you’re still one of us.” CX-Tech or no, Crosshair’s arc was tied up with the CX plot, and because he’s the one the CXs tend to react to—or, at least, understands what was done to them—the set up was there for him to help save and maybe rehab the CXs. At the least, there was an indication that they could be saved. Eeexcept nope! That gets dropped like a rock, too, and they’re not going to deal with it. Time for maximum carnage.

5. Hunter’s arc actually takes a step backwards. Sure, he gets a technically happy ending, but because the squad is basically in the same place they were in “Pabu” back in season two (down a member but successfully hiding from the Empire in a safe place), it negates Hunter’s development towards actually taking action—and actually hurts Echo’s arc, too.

There’s been this tension all through the show between just sitting things out on the one hand (Hunter’s way) and taking direct action despite the futility on the other (Echo’s way), but instead of finding some kind of middle ground or third road, it sort of comes back around to saying that, actually, Hunter was right, they should have just gone to Idaflor back in episode three and never left even though the Pabu invasion said that no, you can’t just hide, and even Hunter’s development was moving in the opposite direction. And this also means that Echo never reaches a point where he feels like he can walk away and that he doesn’t have to get himself killed doing this. Despite development otherwise they both end up back at that conversation in “Tipping Point” without any move in either direction or resolution of that tension.

6. Omega. Okay, Omega probably comes out the best after the finale, and, conceptually, I actually love the idea of Omega becoming a pilot even if the epilogue falls a little flat for me. But stuff with Omega still got dropped, including:

- The force stuff. We have two episodes dealing with m-count (after learning in episode three what Omega was created to do). We also have Ventress telling Omega that she doesn’t have a high m-count as far as she can see, Crosshair immediately calling Ventress out for lying, and then Ventress basically saying, “Yeah, no shit, but if she has force potential she’d have to leave you behind, and it doesn’t matter what your opinion on that is, so I’m not dealing with that.” Aaaand then,m. That. Goes nowhere. Despite a bit of set up for Omega connecting to the force as early as episode one, and some more set up in Tribe, and that whole subplot of her learning how to meditate, and so on.

Now, I don’t think that it was ever going to turn out that Omega did actually have a high m-count or that she had a particularly powerful natural connection to the force. I think she’s probably got a low or baseline m-count. What I do think, however, is that we were going to see Omega connect anyway as a refutation of Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire scheme. Their goal (based off of the ST) was to create extremely force sensitive clones as a way for Palpatine to jump bodies without having to waste time re-learning how to connect to the force. You know—dark side, quick and easy path, focus on eugenics and raw power, etc. Had Omega connected anyway because of her big heart and desire to protect, it would have not only paid off that set up, it would have also refuted Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire goal. It would have worked so well thematically and the set up was THERE.

- branching off of that, I think the Omega force stuff was probably tied to the Zillo beast. We also had a through-line of Omega being good with animals and taking the time to calm them instead of responding with violence. The first time we see this is in “Replacements,” where she realizes that the ordo moon dragon (also an electrophage—I don’t know what to call these things—like the zillo beast) is just scared and hungry. This is all conjectural, but it still fits with what was set up.

- Moving on from the force stuff, we also had a through-line that started way back in episode two of the series, but which was really emphasized this season, about Omega feeling like she’s the cause of the bad things that happen to the people she loves. This is why she gives herself up during the Pabu invasion in the first place. This is never resolved! We get Omega’s confidence boost when she realizes she has the force kids to take care of, but we never get a moment where Omega realizes that she has no reason to feel guilty. She’s the glue that holds the family together! But nope! Also dropped!

- But wait! There’s more! The first two season finales have Omega watching someone she loves fall away while she’s helpless to do anything to save them. That’s perfect set up to put Omega in the same situation, but be able to save them, because she’s finally come into her own. Instead we just end up with her needing to be rescued again.

- Omega has this big speech in Shadows of Tantiss about spending her life stuck in one place or another against her will, and how she refuses to be confined like that. I don’t think Omega would have been happy just staying on Pabu for the entire rest of her childhood and young adult life, even if I think she’d want to use it on a home base. But! Dropped!

7. I still can’t get over the fact that the zillo beast is on screen for about two minutes and then just. Walks away. It’s a large beastie that’s been locked in confinement for a while and is probably hungry. And somehow it didn’t go straight to the reactors for some delicious energy smoothies. Like. It. Did. The. Last. Time. Someone. Let. It. Out. But no, that would have required it sticking around for something that was probably dropped sooooo ZILLO BEAST EXIT STAGE RIGHT I GUESS. (Edit: I have been reminded that Hemlock does say to turn off the generators once the zillo beast is out, so that at least makes sense. I still think the zillo beast should have stuck around to do something.)

8. You notice how there are a ton of commandos around Tantiss, even up through “Flash Strike?” And how they kind of largely cease to exist? And how Echo says that there are far more clones imprisoned in Tantiss than anyone thought? And then how they rescue, like, a dozen guys? Because we never find our way back to those cells Crosshair was held in during season two? And how Tarkin does mention not wanting to allow clone dissidence to turn into an uprising back in “The Summit?” Because I did. This show was never going to be about a clone rebellion, that wasn’t the point, buuut I do think the set up was there for an uprising at Tantiss itself. Begin the series with clones losing their agency en masse, end the series with some of the most subdued clones taking it back. Except nope, dropped, soooo we gotta pretend the commandos don’t exist and murder the hell out of poor Scorch.

9. SPEAKING OF. The batch does kill clones sometimes, that does happen, but they do at least usually make some kind of effort to be non-lethal even when they’re not using stun, and times when they do resort to lethal tactics are usually born out of extreme circumstances. Not here, though!! NO HESITATION MAXIMUM CARNAGE. For. Reasons I guess.

10. There’s one point IN THE FINALE where Echo mentions signaling for Rex. This never comes up again. Rex does not show up. In fact, despite being called, “The Cavalry Has Arrived,” the cavalry does not in fact arrive. There is no cavalry. Yes, I know it’s a reference to Wrecker’s first line. But I’m sorry if you call an episode that YOU HAD BETTER HAVE A CAVALRY SHOW UP. Especially when you have a one about calling them in! But that also!! Got dropped like a rock!!

11. One positive: the moment Crosshair and Hunter leaning on each other to make that shot was nice.

12. Sorry, but Hemlock’s death was deeply unsatisfying. Let’s do something more than just shoot him multiple times, okay?

13. Rampart’s death, on the other hand, was incredibly satisfying. That said, the conversation about project necromancer? I’m dying. It’s actually hilarious, because it basically goes like:

“Tell me about project necromancer.”

“Wow! How interesting!”

I’m.

Are you serious?

I’m going to become the Joker.

Yes, I know we know what project necromancer is because of a different show. That’s not the point, the POINT. Is that any pay off for project necromancer in this show got dropped. And that’s deeply frustrating from a narrative perspective.

14. Speaking of, we never find out anything more regarding that partially successful m-count transfer from episode three.

15. We also never do anything with those medical records!

16. And Omega has a whole crossbow she never actually shoots despite the fact that her role on the team was as a sharpshooter after Crosshair left, and despite her getting advice from Crosshair on how to be a sniper. The literal chekov’s gun never goes off. I’m going to go eat gravel.

17. AZI, likewise, got toted around for three seasons for no reason. Probably could have helped with the medical records. Given that he was a Kaminoan medical droid. Oh, and that Omega was Nala Se’s medical assistant. So. Hmm.

18. You can cut everything in the season past episode five and skip straight to the epilogue and end up in the same place. This is not because the other episodes are filler. Far from it! The other episodes are great and deliver some amazing set up. But, because the finale does nothing with that set up, it doesn’t go anywhere.

19. And you know what else? From a narrative perspective, there’s no reason for Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair to be in these episodes at all. They don’t accomplish anything and make everyone else’s job harder. Omega was doing fine, she would have gotten out with the kids with just Echo and Emerie, and Tarkin was coming to cut off Hemlock’s funding and shut everything down once Hemlock lost control of the facility anyway. I can only suppose that the whole reason they were in this episode ended up getting dropped, too.

20. CX-2. Listen, the answer we get about CX-2 isn’t that he’s not Tech. It’s, “Maybe, maybe not—you don’t get to know.” Because. He’s the only CX whose mask never comes off. After a season and a half worth of buildup of unmasking CXs and people pressing them to learn their names. It’s not a no, it’s a non-answer, which is far less satisfying.

And finally:

21: CX-Tech. I’ve seen some people speculating that there was a planned CX-Tech reveal that got scrapped at the last minute—dropped, along with the other points I’ve already laid out. And, honestly? I have to agree. Despite what the creative team says, because even their denials kind of come out weird (like the Kiners saying that the large brass chord in “Battle of the Snipers” was just a nice sounding brass chord and not a reference to “Plan 99.” They also basically say that the sacrifice theme from “Plan 99” is Tech’s leitmotif. Which. Is all over “Battle of the Snipers.” That theme. Not Crosshair’s. In a scene. Where he’s supposed to be fighting a shadow of himself who Totally Isn’t Tech but we put Tech’s leitmotif here and layered it in Techno music but nooo that was never supposed to be him. Nope. I mean, come on. I’m not stupid).This post is already long enough, so here are some posts by @apocalyp-tech-a pointing out the reasons why I think this was the case, and one by @eriexplosion pointing out why CX-2 as Crosshair’s shadow and only that doesn’t quite work. I don’t need to go over the trail that was laid out again. Up to the finale this was a character that had more screen time—and far more solo screen time—than Echo. Some people will not stop yelling that there was no evidence, and. No. I’m sorry, there was. I can’t agree.

And some people might say, well, okay, the show misdirected you guys and pulled off a twist by having CX-2 be no one, and well, I can’t agree with that either. Twists only function if the twist is more satisfying than the conclusion to which the story seems to be leading. And I’m sorry, you can’t tell me that a season and a half of CX building and three seasons (because I can find set up all the way back in episode one of the show) for Tech survival culminating in what amounts to a boss fight is more satisfying than getting to see Omega have her big brother back. You can’t.

The reason I bring this up last is because, yes, I think CX-Tech was a plot dropped at the last minute, but because I also think that it’s the dropped plot that ripped everything else apart. CX-Tech was an incredibly efficient way to tie up most of the lingering plot threads and dropped character development.

-Crosshair’s guilt? Okay, he faces down the end result of his decision to stay with the empire and possibly something he knew about (Tech would be in this situation because of Crosshair, and were given hints that Crosshair knew) and is finally able to forgive himself because they’re able to save him.

- Hunter’s decision to finally take action and be proactive rather than reactive is validated, because it’s the thing that finally gets him his entire family back.

- Echo saves someone the same way he was saved, and maybe he realizes that it is enough and that he doesn’t have to be a soldier forever.

- Wrecker’s efforts to keep the family together and keep Hunter sane finally pay off.

- Omega is able to protect the people she charges about and finally, finally has all of her brothers.

- Thematically, it rounds off each member of the batch (Omega included) traumatically losing and then taking back their agency in a way that correlates directly to who and how they are as people.

- It also rounds out the OG batchers each being haunted by a failure that has to do with the thing that makes them special.

- You get pushback against “Clone Force 99 died with Tech! We’re not that squad anymore!” because no, it didn’t, and they’re more than a squad, they’re a family.

- It comes around and closes the wound opened in Aftermath and ripped back open by Return to Kamino: they go in for Omega and lose someone, but here, they go in for Omega and get someone back.

- Would allow Tech to close off his lingering threads and finish his character development BECAUSE THOSE REMAINED UNFINISHED.

- Completely subverts the “bury your disabled” trope by making sure we know the character whose disability was explored the most’s life is more important than his death. Seems like an important thing to do in a show that is kind of about disability. Just saying.

- Makes the lack of closure and little mentions of Tech make sense from a storytelling POV because the necessarily catharsis would come from his return.

- And it would actually add some triumph to the ending. Yes, this little family survived. They outlived the war. They’re together, despite every effort to rip them apart. They made it, despite the dark times, despite the Empire, despite what they were made to do and be. They defied all of that. That would have been so, so satisfying.

As is, without Tech, without that CX-Tech reveal, we sort of end up in this weird place where all the themes are half-baked. They are more than soldiers…except Tech, who had to fall out of the story as a soldier (despite us getting the clearest glimpse of what his life outside of soldiering could have been). They get to live how they want…except Tech. They don’t leave their own behind, except Tech that one time. They should value their own lives a little…except Tech. They’re more than a squad, they’re a family…except Tech, the only one besides Omega to say that’s what they are, doesn’t get to see it, and they don’t get to have him around. We begin the series with a broken family and end it with a family broken differently. That’s not dynamic.

So there’s no really punch to the ending. It’s sort of…well, okay, we tortured a family for three seasons I guess. Relieved that the survivors are doing okay, but that’s kind of it.

22. The finale in general is just sort of a bunch of events which happen, but which don’t lead into one other. It’s weird. It’s not that too much happens, it’s that almost nothing happens. Nothing of substance, in a way. The finale is, in a word, the only true filler episode in the entire show.

TL;DR: I think a lot of stuff got dropped from the finale. I don’t know why. I suspect that it might have to do with the strikes—basically, the script was done, most everything was recorded and boarded, and then when the finale was in production they got sudden drastic budget cuts (this was during a time when the studios were disappearing entire completed shows and movies as tax write-offs), had to gut what they had planned, and couldn’t bring the writers or even showrunners in to smooth over what was gutted or to even pick what got taken out. They wouldn’t have gotten to choose or compress things. They were on strike (because the studios wouldn’t negotiate), and whoever did choose ended up just ripping out the stuff that would actually take any time or budget to deal with (so, basically everything I laid out), killing it (literally), and using the remains of what they already had recorded. And who knows how they had to fill in gaps.

But I don’t know for sure. Maybe it was that. Maybe it was a last minute decision to take certain plot points and put them in a different show. Maybe it was executive mandate. Maybe the creative team just sucked the whole time (that’s one I have a hard time buying—we have four other shows and most of this one that tell me that they’re better at their jobs than this). Maybe everyone said screw it, who even cares anymore at the same time.

Maybe nothing happened. Who knows? I strongly suspect something bad did happen behind the scenes that was out of the creative team’s hands—I really do, because that’s the only way I can make sense of this—but until we can get someone talking without six layers of PR and NDAs, we won’t know for sure. All I know is that The Bad Batch is an amazing show with 46 episodes that range from “fine-but-clunky” to “IMMACULATE,” with more leaning towards immaculate than not, and some incredible set up, and one episode so nonsensically bad it makes me want to eat drywall.

It’s just that the one terrible episode comes right at the end.

I love The Bad Batch. I love every single episode and all the things that were set up, but…eh, I think I’ll be ignoring the finale until further notice.

[gffa]

So I am very behind on The Mandalorian and just saw 3x03 "The Convert" yesterday, and I was wondering if you had any ideas about how the New Republic was framed in that episode? I'm trying to grapple with it, and am not totally sure why we were shown this. I mean, obviously everything with this is intentional from the writers, producers, showrunners, all of them, but I was wondering how other people saw this episode.

Honestly, I just don't have enough faith in Favreau's writing for the show to feel like there's anything there, I genuinely don't know if it was meant to be taken at face value, if it was meant to be thematic of the problems inherent in the foundation of the New Republic, or just Rule of Cool from top to bottom. If the writing were stronger, I might give thought to well, what is the point of Elia Kane's character, what is the point of bringing back Dr. Pershing, what is the point of showing us this program for former Imperials in the New Republic, but given the way season 3 ends, I'm not sure what the point would be. Anything that's introduced in this season ultimately feels pointless and it's just there because the show wants to expand the universe, not because it's relevant to the thematic elements of the show. I think what the show wants is to have all its Rule of Cool stuff (included just because it's awesome to put in a Star Wars show) and to be something of an anthology series, where episodes are devoted to fleshing out everything that's going on in the galaxy around them, to develop stronger ties between the movie trilogies. Except none of the New Republic stuff really seems to go anywhere, it's not relevant to Moff Gideon's story, it's not relevant to Din Djarin's story (like the Order 66 flashback is relevant because it's illustrating Grogu's characterization and where he's at at this point in time and what he's dealing with), and maybe it'll come into relevance in the fourth season, but I'm extremely doubtful. I can't really get a bead on what Favreau's thoughts about the New Republic are, so I can't really figure out the framing, and I've basically stopped trying because what does it even matter? Like, say what you will about George Lucas, that guy knew the story he was telling and the themes he wanted and, when he included a scene, it was with the thought of supporting the central tenets. I think The Mandalorian has always leaned towards adding things in for fun (the things that'll "break the internet", that are included just to break the internet) but it really came to a head this season and now half of the show is just stuff that's happening without any kind of eye towards the structure of a bigger storyline or purpose. Like maybe I'm missing something because I'm so disinterested in whatever this show is trying to achieve, but it really does feel like there just wasn't a purpose to including it, other than that maybe Favreau wanted to try to connect the OT to the ST because he likes writing references to the movies more than developing the structure of his own story. And sometimes you can get away with that, because people like seeing Luke Skywalker and an interlude of him just doing stuff has relevance just because he's the face of the franchise and so much of the heart of the story. But you can't do the same for Dr. Pershing or even the New Republic as a whole, you have to have a point there and I'm not sure there was one.

[siswritesyanderes]

Hi! I am so happy to find someone with as many fandoms as me, so I have a selection: (I honestly don't mind whichever one you want to do) Yandere Romantic Mettaton, or Leo Valdez, or Druig, or Camilo from Encanto (if you take requests for him), or Yandere Platonic Sprite, Yelena or Luisa from Encanto, or Undyne, all with a fem or gn reader please! My prompt is how they'd react to a smart reader (maybe a child of Athena for PJO) that tries to escape, or cut ties with them (platonic)! Thanks!

(Okay, I had to go with Leo, just because the idea of Leo kidnapping someone is great, to me.)

You edged toward the bend in the corridor, taking up as little space as you could without daring to touch the wall. The next stretch of hallway looked nondescript– the worst kind. You sized up all that you could see of the floor, ceiling, and walls. Most children of Hephaestus were good at disguising pressure plates and trapdoors, and your captor was the best of the best.

But he seemed to move through this place quickly, when he was here; when he left to bring you food, it never took him long. Which meant either that he had a passageway of his own, without the traps, that was hidden from you, or that there was a quick way to pass through.

And since his traps were all nonfatal, you decided to gamble on the latter.

You could easily imagine Leo getting a kick out of easily, routinely navigating through his own maze of tricks and snares several times a day.

You lowered yourself to ground-level to examine the floor again. Yes, they were slight but noticeable: indentations. Little dips in the floorboards, from having been trodden in a particular way over and over and over again. He did run through every time, and he knew the safe way to do so.

You ran through. With great precision, you regulated each step so that your foot always landed in one of the indentations he'd left behind.

You had almost reached the end of the hallway when a giant net scooped you up, and then you were dangling, helpless, from the ceiling. Your foot had landed correctly, but there had still been a trap waiting for you. You strained against the net for a few seconds before deeming it a waste of your energy.

Not long after, Leo showed up, his eyes bright with intrigue. "Wow, you got far!" he observed. "You cleared Section 1 and got halfway through Section 2; that's huge!"

"One of the indentations in the floor was a fake one?" you gathered.

"I'll never tell," he said with a wink. His eyes kept darting over you, taking in the precarious way you dangled, as if the sight was very appealing to him. "You really did make it far. You don't have to keep impressing me, you know; I'm starting to feel spoiled."

"Let me down, Leo."

"Aye aye, captain; back to your room you go."

You sighed but allowed him to steer you back to your room. "This is overkill," you said, though you knew it was pointless. Most demigods had hangups in the realm of separation and attachment; being a demigod meant seeing your loved ones endangered and possibly lost. And Leo was no exception. Far from it; once one got past his wall of lighthearted emotional avoidance (even accidentally), he became more averse to the thought of losing someone he loved than perhaps anyone you'd ever met.

He masked it with jokes and an impish smile, but he hadn't sequestered you behind a network of elaborate traps and protections just for fun. He was terrified of you leaving, he was terrified of something hurting you, and judging by the hoses rigged around your living quarters that would automatically blast him with fire retardant chemicals if he even lit a fire on his pinkie, he was terrified of hurting you himself.

As he opened the door to your room and you went to sit at your reading desk, you continued, "This isn't sustainable. My siblings are some of the smartest people at camp; eventually, they'll figure out you're the one who took me. People are going to come looking for me."

"I'll make sure they don't make it to this bunker," he said. "For their sake. I don't want to have to hurt anybody."

"If you fill the surrounding area with traps and obfuscations, you'll just confirm any suspicion they have of where I am."

"Give me some credit. I haven't made it easy to find you, no matter who their godly parent is. And the longer they haven't found you, the more likely they'll start to think some monster just ate you and give up on looking," he said cheerfully.

You exhaled sharply, annoyed that he wasn't wrong. Really, given how long you'd been here, you would have suspected they'd burned your shroud already, were it not for the fact that Leo would have definitely mentioned it if they had. But it wouldn't be long now.

Maybe he would give himself away when they did. Maybe he would look a little too cheerful, once the camp decided you were dead, and someone would catch onto him. You weren't sure how good his acting was, when he was there; he was so openly unhinged when he was with you, and there was no way he was the same around anyone else, or he'd have been caught your first day here.

"I made you something, while I was out," he said. He didn't wait for you to acknowledge it; just pulled out a little mechanical hummingbird that flew around the room when he wound it up and landed gently on your lap when it needed to be wound again.

Back before he'd trapped you here, you'd used to be thrilled by every little trinket he made for you. They were all so cute, so thoughtful. Even now, you couldn't help your demeanor softening as you turned the little metal bird over in your hands.

Still, in lieu of thanking him, you just quietly said, "I'm hungry."

"Dinner's coming right up," he assured you. He started to leave, then paused in the door frame, still mostly turned away. "Let's not think about the other demigods trying to rescue you anymore, okay?" He paused. "I'd hate to barbecue any of our cousins, you know?" He scratched his head, more restless than before, and then left.

Your shoulders were tense. Did he mean it? You brought up the topic of being saved to get his reaction, and still you weren't sure you believed his words. Leo was a nice guy, present situation excepted. He wasn't above using hyperbole to make a point. You didn't believe he would really kill them. But you also didn't believe there was no truth to what he was saying. Because the point wasn't what he would do to them- not exactly. The point was that he wouldn't give up. Faced with their opposition, he did not plan to back down.

The door to your room closed.

You wound up the hummingbird and watched it fly around.

[autopotion]

CC is trying to do something different and I actively admire the game for that, but I don't think it all totally coalesces (long post incoming lol)

Like, it came out at the end of the 90s, which was a decade rich in console RPGs that established the formula, and it's a sequel to a game that is widely considered to be the best JRPG ever made. CC had to do some new stuff to differentiate itself. Instead of a tight party of 6 to 8 characters that doesn't really change from playthrough to playthrough, you get an enormous but less developed crew of 45 across different playthroughs. Instead of a huge world map, your exploration is limited to a compact (and very beautiful) archipelago. Standard leveling and experience points have been discarded in favor of boss-triggered stat boosts. The whole element system, which I'm not gonna go into detail about, forces you to strategize for battles in particular ways (i.e. it's actually good to use elements in lots of battles as opposed to conserving them because they're not tied to MP). On the whole I like that CC is trying something else. I respect its weirdness a lot.

But I do feel like there are places where CC doesn't commit to its own bit? Like it gets mired in the gameplay conventions it's attempting to subvert, so its fresh new ideas don't always pay off.

For instance, re: the stat boosts: everyone gets a big stat boost after most boss fights, right? And after the boss, there's a limited time in which you can gather smaller stat boosts for the rest of your party (after 5-10 battles, you'll stop getting boosts until the next star level). Without proper experience points, those smaller stat boosts are the impetus for engaging with random battles (outside of, like, element farming). They're also pretty important; CC's numbers don't go high, so every point matters. It's good practice to seek out these mini boosts. After you get all of your boosts, there isn't much point to seeking out random battles until after the next boss.

But IMO a lot of the dungeons in CC are built on the classic JRPG dungeon philosophy, which centers on experience-based leveling. You fight your way through a slightly difficult area to challenge the boss, rinse and repeat. Except if you did any sidequesting or element farming between dungeons and didn't gain a star level, the initial trek through the dungeon feels completely pointless. Since enemies (standing in for battles) are visibly rendered on the overworld, you can theoretically avoid them, but tight corridors often make that difficult or impossible... so in practice, between bosses, you wind up fighting a lot of battles that have very little material gain, except for some gold and items. You can waste 5+ minutes fighting a particularly difficult random battle and have very little to show for it.

This is in addition to CC's charming quirk of boss-stacking, where one will come shortly after another at the end of a dungeon. If you move directly between these bosses, you will miss out on the between-star level stat boosts. So what you should really be doing is retreating back into the dungeon, fighting those same random battles you had to slog through on the way here for the mini stat boosts (and switching out your party btw if you want anyone you're not maining to benefit, which could throw a wrench into your party planning because, if you're like me, you build your parties based on the kind of dungeon you're in).

So dungeon-crawling in CC, if you enter one immediately after gaining the previous star level, looks like this:

Arrange a party for the dungeon -> Fight your way through and get your minor stat boosts -> Go pack to a save point to rearrange your party to get more -> Go back to your original party, which is fully boosted, and progress to the boss, fighting more (now pointless) battles on the way -> Fight the boss -> If there's another boss, go back into the dungeon to get your minor stat boosts (assuming it lets you), then face the next boss -> Proceed to the next dungeon

Like dungeon-crawling ends up taking SO MUCH time, even more than your average 90s console RPG with random battles, and the rewards are fleeting! Random battles already have problems (they're overused in the average console RPG) but it's a guarantee you'll walk out of a battle with more experience than you had going in. Not so in CC.

The crucial difference is that in something like FFVII, for example (which has a lot in common w/ CC re: materia placement & element grids), dungeon design is all about leveling yourself up to face the next boss. The experience comes from practicing on the mooks and pipsqueaks before taking on the real thing. CC totally reversed the leveling expectations, where you get the most out of fighting bosses, not random encounters, but didn't similarly reverse encounter design. It's kind of crazy.

Like if it were me, I would actually station one boss at the beginning of every CC dungeon, and one at the end. That way the random encounters are designed around maximizing the gains from the immediately preceding boss, and you don't have to worry about fighting a ton of pointless battles if you were just off sidequesting elsewhere. Also I would lower the encounter rate significantly, but that's just me.

But yeah this is without even going into how your massive rotating party complicates this too (like constantly reassigning elements if you're swapping folks out to get the minor boosts). IMO I don't feel like the huge party is necessarily a bad thing--I think the average CC player who is not using a guide will have far fewer party members to work with than someone like me, who is very anal about not missing things in 90s RPGs--but it's just another way that the leveling system works against you.

IN SUM I think CC had a ton of cool ideas that didn't get enough time in the oven because they didn't think about changing the basic structure of a dungeon in addition to their leveling scheme, which is a huge oversight because dungeon structure informs how you level, if that makes sense. Anyway thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

“I’m going to make an AU that is so Doesn’t Make Sense” but for some reason the idea of a Shadow’s House AU has just reared its head and absolutely consumed my brain

We can give courtesy names to the Dolls and full names to the Shadows, so Lan Zhan is the shadow and Wangji is the Doll.

Wuxian had been pestering Wangji since the moment they met cleaning the great hall, chattering endlessly about pointless empty frivolous things that go against their teachings. A Living Doll Must Not Think Such Worthless Things! Lan Zhan is Not looking forward to meeting the doll that has his Wangji tied in so many knots.

Then of course on the day of their debut, Wei Ying immediately sticks himself to Lan Zhan and is just as much of a pest as his doll!!! Who, it must be mentioned, is hardly a proper doll at all!!! Wuxian is excellent at serving as Wei Ying’s face, at least, but he wanders off!! A face leaving behind its body!! And — more scandalous than words can describe — at one point, Wuxian even tries to SPEAK. In public! While he is actively serving as his shadow’s face!!

And Wei Ying sees nothing wrong with this!!!!!

Lan Zhan and Wangji DESPISE them

(Except that of course they don’t.)

Something something everybody passes their debut, learn about Soot Powers, and suddenly Wei Ying and Wuxian start. Acting strange. They’re asking dangerous questions, saying things that are… very wrong. Shadows House is absolute! Wangji and Lan Zhan both try to talk to them, convince them to stop this, stop fighting, to come back to the side of the Shadows House where they belong.

Somehow, We Ying gets selected to move up to the second floor. Idk why Lan Zhan and doesn’t. Maybe something to do with soot powers? Or maybe they both did, but Wei Ying’s bracket went first?

Idk. But I have this very specific image in my head of — they know, now, how a Shadow becomes an adult. They know how this works, and Wuxian tearfully tells Wei Ying that it’s okay. They need to do this. They have a chance to protect the dolls and shadows coming through behind them. They know what Shadows House is, they know about the horror that lurks here, now, but that doesn’t do them any good if they both die in this box.

It’s okay, Wei Ying. It’s okay. I love you, and one of us needs to survive this. One of us needs to get out of here.

… Wei Ying unifies with Wuxian. He enters the adult wing with intent to destroy Shadows House from the inside.

Something goes wrong? He gets caught, maybe? Something something this AU’s version of the confession-get-lost incident only it’s Lan Zhan and Wangji both watching in horror as shadows roll across Wei Wuxian’s face, realizing that Wuxian is dead and Wei Ying took over his body and Lan Zhan is expected to do the same to Wangji if they enter the Adult Wing.

They ultimately stay in the Children’s Wing (due to 33-lashes-induced injury?) and lead the Star Bearers, taking care of the younger shadows and their dolls. The Junior Quartet lead the revolution.

[gayhenrycreel]

i really hate how both zionism and antizionism have become so tied to the idea of a state that people have decided you have to support a state to be "on a side".

i dont support any state.

ive seen zionists on this site who are pro palestine (anti israeli GOVERNMENT while still believing that everyone has a right to live in the area, including jewish self determination. ive seen antizionists say the exact same thing.

ive actually never seen a zionist say anything against palestine myself. im not saying it doesn't happen, im saying these words don't have a set definition. ive only seen that kinda zionism from american christians and the israeli government.

antizionists often agree with zionists in everything except title.

i believe people have a right to live where they want, and i think judaism has the right to Jerusalem. i also believe muslims have an equal right to live there too. the states need to dissolve and the people need freedom. we wouldn't kick every non indigenous person out of america, and muslims have lived in the middle east for a very long time, so have a right to live where they have lived for centuries.

so ive seen posts saying this makes me a zionist, while simultaneously other posts say im an antizionist.

but im neither. im an anarchocommunist.

i always support the people, never the state. i dont support the concept of palestine as a state, nor israel. the people of both nations deserve to be free from the tyranny that comes with a state.

zionism and antizionism is a pointless boundary. when i see people claiming that antizionism is antisemitism, i always find that their personal definition of zionism is jewish self determination. and yeah, that is antisemitic to say jews dont deserve to live in their spiritual land.

when antizionists define zionism they say its israel committing genocide, which is totally different.

some zionists are antisemitic and are trying to start the rapture to kill everyone in israel (christian zionism). some antizionists are equally antisemitic and go after jewish people and interrogate them, assuming they want to kill people, even if the victim is openly antizionist.

these are extremes.

a mutual of mine, openly antizionist, says the EXACT same things i see self proclaimed zionists say.

if you wonder how i know this stuff, ive spent over a year considering converting to judaism and i scroll the tag sometimes.

you cant call yourself anti something if you dont learn what the people you oppose believe. their beliefs will always be diverse.

not all anarchists agree either. individualist anarchists are so seperate from my anarchism that its not even the same ideology anymore. but we still call it anarchism.

i genuinely believe this wide spread phenomenon is because people assume they know what The Enemy believes, but, from no fault of their own, people are wrong sometimes, they don't realise that the opposed group is just as diverse as the in-group

so yeah, im not zionist OR antizionist.

im anti state, and pro people, regardless of who they are.

[000life-is-meaningless000]

I honestly don't know why we have so many morals in this world, I don't understand why we have a responsibility to be so fucking moral ?

I don't know why there's so, many deities in higher powers above Humanity, We be fucking moral like why is it fucking matter ?

you're boring this world to serve and be obedient to Good ?

just so you can die go to a good place why can't these deities send u to the good realm because thay often can see someone's life and all that that happens before anything happens deities are Beyond super psychic.

So, I Really see this morality bullshit it's just a guilt trip gaslighting a guilt trip.

I really meant the point of seeing being being just being being a fucking good person some kind of like mental illness.

there's no real punishment for being evil except for the offense to the human spirit.

They who are trained for Good and Bad is the same way that you were trained for Law and Order.

So I really have no idea was the whole point of being moral thought out our lives and Why we fear to be evil ?

if there is a higher power that doesn't want you to be evil like you're just taking it out of the equation.

This whole punishment thing is just bullshit.

. . . . . . .

it's Completely irrational, morals are also tied to mental Health, Law and Order religion and every part of The Human Experience.

it is serves not in place no good role.

. . .

When Evil has all the benefits, Good says it's the most valuable.

And, The most fucked up strangest thing is more people will do evil in the name of Good than Good will do in the name of Evil.

my point is that everybody has their own idea what's good and what's evil and people always are willing to kill other people because they believe that they are evil evil is a good and evil is a fucking religion I really think u should do other fuck you want cuz we're God damn fucking animals with a finite amount of time and there's some stupid piece of shit above us all watching us and judging us of our actions and God damn well they can go fuck themselves.

I think it's a fucking abuse and if human beings don't even have free will why is that even fucking matter you're going to get punished on something you don't even fucking have you don't even have free will and this is big thing of wondering if we even have free will to begin with

and the motherfuckers even talk about everything being fucking predestined so it just gets me even deeper in the rabbit hole wanting to know what the fuck is anything what the fucking point of hell we don't have free will everything is predestined our Free Will is fake we would do to do it anyway you also got to think of DNA on the goddamn math board

in the more you think about shit and the more you contemplate

the way you got to wonder what the fuck, is the point ?

Why be good when evil is all good and then you have Christians always saying that they say that Pitty the fool that See's, Evil is good and good is evil

when everyone does that constantly no one knows what the fuck anything is cuz it's kind of just make up their morals that go along.

We're All God damn flawed imperfect fucking beings trying to fucking survive an endless meaningless pointless fucking existence that just ends up with us being bones in the fucking dirt somewhere ?

and for those dumb motherfuckers that say you won't go to heaven.

😡 - Bible, ACCURATE ! ! ! ! !

[ventureawaybitches]

Fate Legacy Game 2 (part 1)

This is a spoiler warning, you are being warned of spoilers, consider yourselves warned

Love that when needing more information everyone's like I'll phone a friend, except Kara who's going to punch stuff

Genuinely thought to call the Raven Queen Arrnodel would pick Alistar up like a phone and talk into him

The Raven Queen is just so cool and scary and I love how oblivious Arrnodel is to how creepy it all is

Very interested in the idea that with demi-gods giving their power to someone it's like giving a part of their life force, and it hurts the demi-god if they aren't close. What would happen if they were on different planes? That's an immense amount of trust

Our darling Rem

I'm gonna take a bath to clean off all that sexual tension (same girl)

Bastard's Breach is being rebuilt. Interestiiiinnggg

I am water. You are hope. That is your kind.

They were talking to Phin (and maybe Amalthea, I can't remember) about finding a base for the Furies so...it might be on the Jade Isles???

Presana's whole thing that mortal kind are made of hope is really beautiful.

Isolde wearing white in a place where everyone and everything is covered in dust and sand all the time is such a power move (also Rem's favourite colour is black, just saying)

I never loved anyone before her. And I don't know if I'll ever recover. To love a demi-god is all consuming, and when I lost her I felt I lost something of me. WHAT IF I DIE CELESTE!!! HOW DARE!!!!!

Chess has diamond patterned skin, very cool (yep I was surprised they have skin)

I would like Chess and Rem to fight for fun and profit

Carillon brewery confirmed, spend years learning insanely difficult and dangerous magic, also how to make beer 10/10 no notes

Leading on from that please tell me the carillon temple has a gift shop

Sawyeh with the how about y'all just don't fuck my god

Aaron and Arrnodel broke up, I'm not surprised and I think everything going on with Arrnodel at the moment is laying the foundations to her moving to the Shadowfell on a more permanent basis, now she has less ties to the mortal realm

CO-CAPTAINS!

Kara and Fera's talk and how it expands on Fera's arc/rise to power/taking responsibility-autonomy in her life, I like that Fera doesn't want to step back, and she's not going to let go now

This might be cos i haven't listened to the finale in ages and forgot everything but

It's obvious that the cast have discussed where they want to go and retconed a few things from legacy game 1 with more thought about the maidens' future, and maybe how this will tie into Favor.

I don't understand why they had to evacuate New Breach, but i might've been wrong thinking only the Keep was pulled into the Fates realm. I find it slightly frustrating that all the political efforts in Kara's arc to get the fey tree are rendered pointless and all these people who wanted to live away from the Eldrin Empire are forced back to it.

(all quotes are approximate, i do not trust my notes)

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 147

Time After Time/The Big Bang

“Time After Time”

Plot Description: The God of Time sends Dean back to 1944, where he is immediately arrested by the legendary Elliot Ness who, surprisingly, is also a hunter

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: we start with the boys, that is not encouraging for my survival. The only plus is knowing this is a time travel story…so, maybe?? I dunno. Maybe it’s like a weeping angels situation for me

CANTON, OHIO?? It’s funny how we will straight up claim something more than an hour away as still definitely being part of the area.

Dean, what you watch is not just called anime. I love you, but don’t lie to yourself or us. Are you allowed to say the word hentai on network television?

This house where they’re investigating (second one) is beautiful! Got a turret and stained glass

Ohhhhhh that’s the context for the “more anime or are you strictly into Dick(/dick) now?” line. Yes he means Dick Roman, billionaire turned leviathan, but also…

It’s missing Castiel hours…for me.

Lmao at Dean having to use his fingers to calculate what year it is.

Dean gets to go on all the fun field trips. Maybe this is to make up for how everyone made fun of him in the old west. He’s so flustered and excited

You’ll do what to his what, Dean?? But he does look good in 1940s attire

The switching back and forth between Dean & Elliot and Sam & Jody…it, and I’m sorry to say it, feels a little pointless to have the Sam & Jody part. MAYBE they actually contribute later, but Dean’s time traveling adventures are much more interesting

Jody and Sam reminiscing about Bobby is sweet, though

Sometimes I forget that Elliot Ness does have Cleveland ties. Then I remember that a local brewery literally has a beer named after him. WHICH IS WEIRD CONSIDERING HE WAS A PROHIBITION OFFICER. (Now I’m gonna pause the show for a search as to why they did that)

Calling it a paradox seems a bit strong…there is a word for what it is but it’s of course escaping me now. Also, the brewery owners’ mom was apparently Ness’s stenographer

Ness’s trunk arsenal gives the Winchesters’ a run for its mone

I was liking this lady who was kind of like Ness’s Bobby (maybe not in the parental figure way but the knowledgeable about how to kill so many supernatural beings way) until she went and kissed Dean out of the blue and a bit as payment for what she got for him and Ness to kill Kronos

Omg yes Dean. Sending Sam messages on the floorboards from the past. I love it

Not me being like “OH?? THAT day??” when Sam pointed out that Dean’s letter was written on November 5, 1944

Oh so we have a case of Schrödinger’s Dean. He’s alive in 1944, but he’s also dead now, but he hasn’t been born yet in 1944, but also Sam and Jody are still trying to get him back. It’s all very wibbly wobbly timey wimey…stuff. Remember when this was just a show about two brothers trying to find their dad and killing monsters on the way?

Well that was wonderfully ominous. “You’re future is covered in thick, black ooze”

“The Big Bang”

Plot Description: The Doctor is gone, the universe is collapsing, and the only hope lies in a little girl

I remember this one as the fun half (with the exception of the speech to stall the attack), let’s see if I’ve remembered correctly

Little Amyyyyyyy. You know, I never picked up on the fact that she is PRAYING to SANTA. Like…it’s one thing to try to get his attention near Easter, but praying is a bit far. Also…does she think he goes into hibernation? She said it’s Easter now so I hope I didn’t wake you…

☹️☹️☹️ the Doctor didn’t come in this timeline

I wouldn’t want to live in this timeline. How can you live with no stars in the night sky?? Especially if you know they’re supposed to be there, but no one else does

The fact that the Pandorica is just in a museum now…

Man, you have no idea how much I wish I could easily read that note (it just says “stick around pond” but I have a bad time reading things on tv screens)

OKAY I wasn’t crazy for remembering seeing AMY Amy in the Pandorica

Cool. Now we have Schrödinger’s Amy.

Why IS it that the Doctor getting sealed brings about the unbirth of the universe??

Oh no. THAT is terrifying. The thought that we’d definitively be alone in the universe

Rory making the choice to stay with Amy while she’s in there to guard her and keep her company ❤️❤️❤️

The fact that he made it all the way to the 1940s but potentially couldn’t make it that last 60-some (but of course he ACTUALLY did)

I love that we’re getting a very similar story in both of these episodes tonight. The Doctor’s using River’s time vortex to jump between 2000 years of time to leave notes and clues and give solutions

Oh…River being stuck in a few second time loop ☹️

The way they destroy the fez is always a good laugh

When ISNT he being completely ridiculous in one way or another?

I normally really like River, but this is the writing…it’s the writing’s fault. She’s a generic “strong female character in an action film” in this episode…who somehow still needs to be saved, who still defers to the Doctor. Fuck Moffat

Sad goodbyes that you KNOW don’t last long aren’t as good in subsequent watches

I love Amy’s wardrobe. She always has such good outfits

“We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one” ALWAYS a good line

Ok. Watching him say goodbye to little Amy IS still sad, but HEY! The stars are back!

(I’m watching this as leaks are starting to drop for mha and it’s just…hard to focus. Thankfully, there’s not much left)

I feel bad for both of them. Rory’s so confused why Amy’s so sad and distracted at their wedding reception, and Amy’s so fucking confused and distraught.

The rest of their wedding seems like a good time though

[sp4c3-0ddity]

Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love - Part Seventeen

tag, you’re it @hailqiqi (for real this time)

confession:  this ended up being not even that different from what i originally posted BUT i also like it better because it takes something that i TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT into account. also i am no longer mentally beating myself up, which is also good. so i hope you like it!! <3

(that being said, i’m way over the word limit at 1384 words. hail, you have my permission to go loose on the next part ;_;)

Previous Parts:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

Sleeplessness and the constant buzz of work on the eve of their most important battle put Pidge on edge while they stayed on Olkarion, and even the great forest beyond the marvelous city couldn’t calm her the way it did the first time.

Sleeplessness, work, her family, and…Lance.

His eyes hadn’t so much as met hers since that doomed quarrel, and she couldn’t get his words out of her head.

“We can return to Earth.”

Pidge tossed and turned in her bundle of blankets underneath her desk in the Green Lion’s hangar. The hard floor dug into her shoulder, keeping her from getting comfortable, but even after Shiro insisted she go to bed her room held little appeal.

Guilt gnawed at her without a task to occupy her hands and her mind - guilt and frustration that Lance avoided her so thoroughly.

If only he’d give her the chance to explain—

Pidge needed a distraction.

She shoved her blankets away and perched on the edge of her stool, pulling her computer towards her. With her lip between her teeth, she watched the footage she found of Matt’s escape for the umpteenth time, hoping that something new - as if she hadn’t already poured over it enough - would stand out.

But this time the blurry projection only reminded her of how far she little she knew - and of Slav.

What sort of state would her brother be in when she found him? And never mind Matt - what of her father?

Soon she could seek them without Voltron tying her down, she told herself. Soon Pidge could explore the far reaches of the universe, and soon…Lance would be back on Earth.

Pidge rubbed her weary, itching eyes. She shivered, a chill creeping into the hangar and into her body, and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

It wasn’t enough, not when it wasn’t long ago that she didn’t sleep alone.

With the specter of the future weighing on her mind, Pidge stood and crept from the hangar, her feet treading the familiar path to Lance’s room…

…only for his voice to drift from the kitchen as she passed it.

“…don’t know, Hunk. It just feels like we’re caught in some dance.”

“One step forward and three steps back?”

“Something like that,” Lance grumbled, his voice muffled as if he spoke into his arms. “I mean, can you believe she didn’t even tell me her name?”

“I actually can,” Hunk replied. “You ever think of talking to her about it?”

“Oh, not you too…” Pidge leaned forward, straining to hear Lance’s words as they pitched lower. “I know we - all of us - might go our separate ways after this, but…”

“But?” Hunk prompted.

“I don’t know.” Lance sighed.

“Well, now’s the time to—oh, hey, Pidge!”

Pidge’s eyes widened as she accidentally stepped within the range of the sensors, the door sliding open before her to reveal Hunk, his eyebrows flying so high they nearly disappeared under his headband, and Lance slumped over the bar.

Lance spun around so fast he slipped off his stool, landing hard on his back. He groaned as he rolled onto his side, and Pidge, alarmed when he curled in on himself, sprinted towards him.

“Lance, are you—”

“I’m fine,” he said, waving her away and sitting up, rubbing his shoulder. “I’ve had worse.”

“Yesterday you were moaning about stubbing your toe,” Hunk pointed out.

Pidge bit back an involuntary snicker as Lance turned red and retorted, “It quiznaking hurt, okay?”

“I guess this means you don’t want an ice pack this time then?” Hunk guessed, crossing his arms.

“Wait, no, hand me one!” Lance raised his hand. “Toss it to me!”

“Why me?” Hunk said. “Pidge can get it for you.”

Pidge gaped, but when Hunk jerked his head towards the freezer, she jumped into action.

It took her far enough away that she could hear the two of them conversing in angry whispers, but as she turned back with a towel-wrapped bundle of ice in one hand, Hunk clapped Lance on his uninjured shoulder and fled.

Lance glared after him, but something in his eyes softened when Pidge crouched beside him. “I can do that,” he muttered, his gaze fixed on the floor. “It’s not even that bad.”

“It’s fine.” Pidge pressed the makeshift ice pack to his shoulder. “Don’t want to hurt your shooting arm right before a battle.”

Lance snorted. “I kind of need both arms to aim properly.”

At a loss for words, Pidge said nothing. But when Lance shifted, she opened her mouth, fearful that he’d leave before she found the words she needed, until—

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, voice low.

“Why didn’t I tell you what?” Her heart pounded, anxious about everything that could come next, but she kept her eyes down, not sure she wanted to see the expression on his face.

“Your name,” Lance said. “Your real name.”

“I don’t know,” Pidge admitted. She switched her hands, flexing the cold one to work some warmth into her fingers. “I…guess I didn’t think it was all that important.”

“Pidge, it’s your name.”

“I’m aware.” She rolled her eyes. “I think I just got so used to being Pidge - I went almost a whole year without anyone calling me Katie - that I never thought to be Katie again.” She sighed but finally found the wherewithal to look up.

Lance met her gaze, making the tightness in her chest unravel. “You’re weird, Pidge…or, uh, should I call you Katie now?”

Pidge shook her head and said, “That would be weird now, especially from you.”

Lance smiled. “That’s fair. And, uh, you don’t need to ice that anymore.” He tapped her hand.

Pidge dropped the ice pack and rubbed her hands together. After some internal battle crossed Lance’s face, he took her hands in his warmer ones.

A familiar and welcome flutter filled her stomach.

Pidge bit her lip, her eyes on their joined hands, and said, “I’m sorry, Lance.”

When he didn’t respond, she dared a glance at his face.

“Look, Pidge…” He let go of her hands, leaving them colder than before he held them. “I like you, but this whole…thing between us is getting on my nerves.”

Her damn heart skipped a beat at hearing it so plainly. “I-I like you too,” she said. “I just…I didn’t mean to push you away like that.”

“Oh, so that’s why you insult me afterward?”

“What? I don’t insult you!”

“Oh, really?” Lance raised an eyebrow. “Remember Beta Traz when you couldn’t believe I was a sharpshooter?”

“I…” Stunned and with a guilty twist in her heart, Pidge sought for something to say before settling on, “You proved me wrong, didn’t you?”

“I—” A flush filled Lance’s cheeks, an endearingly goofy smile stretching his face, and he said, “I guess I did, huh?”

“Yeah.” Pidge returned his smile, but it faltered when she remembered her purpose here - their last face-to-face conversation, and the one she desperately didn’t want to be the last. “I shouldn’t have said that. You mean a lot to me, Lance.”

“I believe you, Pidge, and we don’t have to date if you don’t want to.”

Maybe she did…but before she could contradict him, Lance continued, “I get that you still haven’t found your family—”

“—and you want to return to Earth after this fight,” Pidge said, her heart growing heavy again.

“Yeah.” Lance took her hand in his, gaze locked onto them - on his blue palm pressed to hers.

“So what about…us?” Pidge wondered, tone almost a whisper.

“For starters, you got any other game-changing secrets?” Lance flashed a slight smirk, something that made a pleasant warmth spread through her chest. “You have an evil twin I should avoid?”

Pidge laughed, feeling lighter than she had in a long time - almost impossibly light for the eve of a battle. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Uh no…” Lance’s eyes narrowed. “Time to sleep?”

“That too,” she said, “but I was thinking…do you want to watch the sunrise with me? Something pretty to see before we take down Zarkon…”

Lance’s suspicion gave way to a smile, and Pidge’s soulmark grew warm. “That sounds perfect to me.”

To be continued

[mimicofmodes]

“The Ladies Waldegrave” by Joshua Reynolds, 1780 (NGS NG2171)

I’ve complained before about two very big pet peeves of mine - corset stuff and Regency women being dressed in 1770s-1780s clothes - but one that may dwarf them because of how frequently it comes up in historical and fantasy fiction is the oppression of embroidery.

That’s probably putting it a bit too strongly. It’s more like ... the annoyance of embroidery. Every character worth reading about knows instinctively that sewing is a) boring, b) difficult, c) mindless, and d) pointless. The author doesn’t have to say anything more than “Belinda threw down her needlework and looked out the window, sighing,” to signal that this is an independent woman whose values align with the modern reader, who’s probably not really understood by her mother or mother figure, and who probably will find an extraordinary man to “match” her rather than settling for someone ordinary. To look at an example from fantasy, GRRM uses embroidery in the very beginning of A Game of Thrones to show that the Stark sister who dislikes it is sympathetic and interesting, while the Stark sister who is competent at it is boring and conventional and obviously not deserving of a PoV (until later books, when her attention gets turned to higher matters); further into the book, of course, the pro-needlework sister proves to be weak-willed and naïve.

Rozsika Parker, in the groundbreaking 1996 work The Subversive Stitch, noted that “embroidery has become indelibly associated with stereotypes of femininity,” which is the core of the issue. "Instead embroidery and a stereotype of femininity have become collapsed into one another, characterised as mindless, decorative and delicate; like the icing on the cake, good to look at, adding taste and status, but devoid of significant content.” 

Parker also points out that the stereotype isn’t just one that was invented in the present day by feminists who hated the idea of being forced to do a certain craft. “The association between women and embroidery, craft and femininity, has meant that writers concerned with the status of women have often turned their attention towards this tangled, puzzling relationship. Feminists who have scorned embroidery tend to blame it for whatever constraint on women's lives they are committed to combat. Thus, for example, eighteenth-century critical commentators held embroidery responsible for the ill health which was claimed as evidence of women's natural weakness and inferiority.”

There are two basic problems I have with the trope, beyond the issue of it being incredibly cliché:

First: needlework was not just busywork

A big part of what drives the stereotype is the impression that what women were embroidering was either a sampler:

sampler embroidered by Jane Wilson, 14, in 1791 (MMA 2010.47)

or a picture:

unfinished embroidery of David and Abigail, British, 1640s-50s (MMA 64.101.1325)

That is, something meant to hang on the wall for no real purpose.

These are forms of schoolwork, basically. Samplers were made by young girls up to their early teens, and needlework pictures were usually something done while at school or under a governess as a showpiece of what was being learned - not just the stitching itself, but also often watercolors (which could be worked into the design), artistic sensibility, and the literature, history, or art that might be alluded to. And many needlework pictures made in schools were also done as mourning pieces, sometimes blank, for future use, and sometimes to commemorate a recent death in the family. A lot of them are awkward, clearly just done to pass the class, but others are really artwork.

Many schools for middle- and upper-class girls taught the making of these objects (and other “ornamental” subjects) alongside a more rigorous curriculum - geography, Latin, chemistry, etc. At some, sewing was also always accompanied by serious reading and discussion. (And it would often be done while someone read aloud or made conversation later in life, too.)

Once done with their education, women generally didn’t bother with purely decorative work. Some things that fabric could be embroidered for included:

Jackets 

Bed coverings and bedcurtains

Collars and undersleeves 

Pelerines 

Neck handkerchiefs and sleeve ruffles 

Screens

Upholstery

Handkerchiefs

Purses, wallets, and reticules

Boxes

Book covers

Plus other articles of clothing like waistcoats, caps, slippers, gown hems, chemises, etc. Women’s magazines of the nineteenth century often gave patterns and alphabets for personal use.

(Not to mention late nineteenth century female artists who worked in embroidery, but that’s something else.)

You could purchase all of these pre-embroidered, but many, many women chose to do it themselves. There are a number of reasons why: maybe they wanted something to do, maybe they felt like they should be doing needlework for moral/gender reasons, maybe they couldn’t afford to buy anything - and maybe they enjoyed it or wanted to give something they made to a person they loved. That firescreen above was embroidered by Marie Antoinette, someone who had any number of other activities to choose from. It’s no different than people today who like to knit their own hats and gloves or bake their own bread, except that it was way more mainstream.

embroidery patterns from Ackermann’s Repository in 1827 - they could be used on dresses, collars, handkerchiefs, etc.

Second: needlework wasn’t the only “useless” thing women were expected to do

Ignoring the bulk of point one for now and the value of embroidery - I mentioned “ornamental subjects” above. As many people know, young women of the upper and middle classes were expected to be “accomplished” in order to be seen as marriageable. This could include skills like embroidery, drawing, painting, singing, playing the piano (as well as other instruments, like the harp or the mandolin), speaking French (if not also Italian and/or German), as well as broader knowledge and abilities like being well-versed in music, literature, and poetry, dancing and walking gracefully, writing good letters in an elegant hand, and being able to read out loud expressively and smoothly.

This wasn’t a checklist. As the famous discussion in Pride and Prejudice shows, individuals could have different views on what actually made a woman accomplished:

“How I long to see her again! I never met with anybody who delighted me so much. Such a countenance, such manners! And so extremely accomplished for her age! Her performance on the pianoforte is exquisite.”

“It is amazing to me,” said Bingley, “how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are.”

“All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?”

“Yes, all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover screens, and net purses. I scarcely know anyone who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished.”

“Your list of the common extent of accomplishments,” said Darcy, “has too much truth. The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse or covering a screen. But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half-a-dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished.”

“Nor I, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley.

“Then,” observed Elizabeth, “you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”

“Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it.”

“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

Mr. Bingley feels that a woman is accomplished if she has the ability to do a number of different arts and crafts. Miss Bingley feels (or says she feels) that it goes beyond specific skills and into branches of artistic attainment, plus broader personal qualities that could be imparted by well-bred governesses or mothers. And Mr. Darcy, of course, agrees with that but adds an academic angle as well.

But what ties all of these accomplishments together is their lack of value on the labor market. A woman could earn a living with any one accomplishment, if she worked hard enough at it to become a professional, but young ladies weren’t supposed to be professional-level good because they by definition weren’t going to earn a living. All together, they trained a woman for the social and domestic role of a married woman of the upper middle or upper class, or, if she couldn’t get married, a governess or teacher who would share her accomplishments with the next generation.

(To be fair, almost none of the trappings of an upper-middle/upper class male education had anything to do with the kind of career training that college frequently is today, either. Men were educated to know the cultural touchpoints of their class and fit in with their peers.)

There are reasons that an individual person/character might specifically object to embroidery, but it was far from the only “useless” thing that an unconventional heroine would be required to do against her inclination by her conventional mother/grandmother/aunt/chaperone. Embroidery stands out to modern audiences because most of the other accomplishments are now valued as gender-neutral arts and skills.

“The Embroidery Frame”, by Mathilde Weil, ca. 1900 (LOC 98501309)

So, some thoughts for writers of historical fiction (or fantasy that’s supposed to be just like the 19th/18th/17th/etc century):

- If your heroine doesn’t like embroidery, she probably doesn’t like a number of other things she’s expected to do. Don’t pull out embroidery as either more expected or more onerous than them. Does she hate to sit still? I’d imagine she also dislikes drawing and practicing the piano. Would she prefer to do academic subjects? She probably also resents learning French instead of Latin, and music and dancing. Does she hate enforced femininity? Then she’d most likely have a problem with all of the accomplishments.

- If your heroine just and specifically doesn’t like embroidery, try to show in the narrative that that’s not because it’s objectively bad, and only able to be liked by the boring. Have another sympathetic character do it while talking to the heroine. Note that the hero carries a flame-stitched wallet that’s his sister’s work. Emphasize the heroine’s emotional connection to her deceased or absent mother through her affection for clothing or upholstery that her mother embroidered - or through a mourning picture commemorating her. There are all kinds of things you can do to show that it’s a personal preference rather than a stupid craft that doesn’t take talent and skill!

mourning picture for Daniel Goodman, probably embroidered by a Miss Goodman, 1803 (MMA 56.66)

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if Voldemort was caught in a time loop from say, his resurrection through the battle of Hogwarts?

He has an absolutely miserable time.

Loop 1

So, first, some thoughts on Tom Riddle and his demise. At that point, I think he was pretty much committing suicide. He was done, with everything, and with everyone.

And then he wakes up, if you can even call it waking up. He's suddenly in agony, every bit of him aches, and it feels like he's been stuffed into a body that just doesn't work. That's because he has, he's been resurrected in the graveyard in a homunculus body.

And there's Harry Potter, again, like always.

And Tom Riddle has to do this all over again.

Suddenly, he just doesn't have the energy for the Voldemort get up. He doesn't summon his followers, doesn't murder Harry or Cedric, he just leaves to get himself a drink. Probably doesn't work because I doubt that body can consume alcohol.

Barty is caught and put to death.

"My Lord, what are your plans?" Pettigrew asks nervously, Tom thinks about summoning the Death Eaters, about breaking Bella and the others out of prison, but he's just so tired.

Plus, most of them die anyway, and the ones that don't probably go on to live worthless lives or else were erased out of existence. Tom goes, "Eh" and continues drinking.

This leads to hilarious events as Dumbledore is still preaching up and down that Voldemort has returned except... now there really is 0 evidence. Dumbledore is accused of tampering with the goblet: the theory being he kidnapped Cedric and Harry, cast some illusion to make them think Voldemort has returned, and is now using them as mouth pieces so that he can oust Fudge and put in his own puppet/run himself. Everyone just feels sort of bad for Harry and Cedric, Harry becoming increasingly pissed off.

Harry also occasionally has the weird dream of Tom Riddle being utterly wasted and hating life. He's sure he's learning something very important!

Regardless, because Tom no longer even cares about the prophecy or even punishing Lucius, there's no scheme to get it: Lucius would just fuck it up anyways. As a result there's no battle at the ministry, Sirius lives, but the government does not discover that Voldemort's been resurrected.

Instead, Dumbledore is arrested for planning a coup and training child soldiers, as Harry still sets up the DA. Tom, when he hears the news from Snape, thinks this is utterly hilarious.

Tom decides to continue his plan of doing nothing, seems to get better results than whenever he does try to do anything.

There's a giant trial that is the most corrupt thing in every way imaginable for Albus Dumbledore. And it's filled with such hot gossip. Everything comes out: hiring Hagrid as a professor despite his complete lack of credentials/all the injured children, all the debacles going on under Dumbledore's control, the DA, and Dumbledores relationship with Grindelwald.

Dumbledore tries to insert his own people into the trial to get him out but the ministry's doing the same thing. Seeing that it's tied, Tom tries to influence on the sidelines to get Dumbledore thrown in jail, because it'd be funny.

Well, he's not thrown in jail, but he is dismissed as Headmaster. But Minerva inherits the position and immediately makes Dumbledore Honored Advisor, and Headmaster in all but name. Tom can't even.

Dumbledore starts horcrux hunting in earnest, ruins his hand and sentences himself to death, and starts prepping Harry for his task. Tom, meanwhile, still isn't doing anything.

The horcrux hunt happens, Harry thinking this is all very important, except at the very end of it... He can't find Tom Riddle. How can he kill Voldemort if he can't even find the guy? Snape would help, except he doesn't know where to find the guy either: Tom decided to take a vacation to France and has yet to come back.

The day of the battle occurs and...

Loop 2

Tom's back in the graveyard.

He lets out a very long sigh.

God, this is just going to be forever, isn't it? When he said he wanted to be immortal, this wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

Tom decides he has to do something about this, because this is just silly now.

He spends the next several loops researching what the hell is even happening to him and if this is a consequence of soul shenanigans. No one has any idea, because this never happens to anyone.

Loop N

Tom decides to get reckless. New plan: time turners. All the time turners.

He raids the Department of Mysteries, gets himself a bunch of time turners and... undoubtedly makes things worse.

Likely, his entire current situation is due to the fact that Tom[N] decided to use time turners to solve his problems. This created the situation in the first place, and now he's stuck in loops forever.

Tom finds a note somewhere: "Tom, don't use the time machine! - Love Tom" and just dies inside.

Loop N + 1

At some point Tom just legitimately stops caring and does whatever the hell he wants. This is just how his existence works now, he is a mayfly who lives forever, only a few short years until he loops again.

I imagine he dedicates himself to trying to figure out how to stop looping and get himself into a body that doesn't suck. Anything else is just kind of pointless.

[erosofthepen]

Letters From Amad pt.2

After about five months of not knowing how to continue it, i have finished part 2!! There will be a third part, not nearly as long, and i already have most of it written, so it should be out a lot sooner lol. BUT, i hope you enjoy it, and thanks for putting up with me lol.

-Part 1

-Words: 4,898

-Warnings: blizzard/storm, injury, hypothermia, some swearing

-Tags: @grunid, @elvish-sky, @sassyscribbler, @whore4fictionalhoes11, @smaugs-guardian, @bitter-sweet-farmgirl, @jotink78, @marvel-ous-hobbit, @anjhope1, (if i forgot you, im sorry, i have trouble keeping track sometimes)

It was moments like this that reflected Thorin’s terrible decision making. In actuality, his decision to not put anymore lives at risk was very wise. But still, it was Fili who was out there. And Kili. And since Thorin would not send a search party out, it was time to take matters into your own hands.

First things first, you went back to your chambers and put on your warmest, fluffiest, most wind-resistant coat. Rabbit fur covered the insides (the hides were hunted and tanned by Fili, a courting gift to you), and thick leather made up the outside, keeping the cold out and the warmth in. Next, you pulled on your winter boots (you had actually just had them made last week, and there were three little pockets perfect for concealing knives in), as well as a hat, gloves, and a scarf, all knitted by Ori, his way to show gratitude after your help in the libraries. You then proceeded to gather up some salted meat and cram, walk down to the entrance of the mountain, and enter the stables.

You choose a faithful companion to keep you company, namely, Daisy. The Mare had a thick wooly mane, and an extreme proclivity towards sweets. This was not to be your first venture with the pony, and now you knew better to bring him anywhere within five leagues of a bakery. You had not been amused when he had eaten an entire box of pastries meant for you and the scholars, though Kili and Fili had thought it to be the most hilarious of stories. However, despite his tendency to devour pastries, Daisy was reliable and resilient, and you hardly rode any other steed.

Several stableboys tried to dissuade you from leaving in the storm, but you brushed off their remarks as you tacked up Daisy. Thankfully, they didn’t try to block your path as you left, though they did warn you to be careful. You weren’t too concerned, for the storm had grown tamer in the day, and the frost was not biting your face. Yet, that is.

You reached Dale in about an hour. It took much longer than expected, with Daisy being nearly up to his belly in the fallen snow. Dale was practically devoid of men and women, most of them having the brains to stay inside during the storm. The only exceptions were some watchmen and one or two passersby.

“Oi, it’s a bit too cold for a morning ride lady, have you lost all sense?” A guard asked as you were leaving the gate on the other side of town.

“No my good fellow, I'm just looking for my friends. Have you seen two dwarrow come this way?”

“Can’t say that I have, but Maurice said he saw a pair last night, a few hours before the snow started.”

“Did Maurice mention where they were headed?”

“To the caravan, where else? It’s about fifteen miles from here, I would guess. You’re not considering going out there, are you?”

“I’m afraid that I must. Good day to you sir,”

“And a very cold day to you, lassie. Best of travels.”

“And to you as well.”

You quickly left and mentally cursed yourself for wishing him best of travels in return. He wasn’t traveling, you idiot!

The embarrassment faded as the wind began to pick up. The blizzard was steadily getting thicker, the puffy snowflakes turning more compact and icy. The city of Dale had long disappeared behind you in the snow, and you could only hope you were headed in the right direction.

However adventurous and bold it sounds, riding bare-back on a pony in the middle of a freezing cold snow storm was not at all an easy task. Your scarf had been moved to cover most of your face, and your hood was tied tightly ‘round your head, yet the flakes still stung your flesh. You were definitely starting to rethink your whole “making sure the brothers were alright in a storm idea.” Especially since it was pointless to look for them in between the caravan and Dale, as you couldn’t even see ten feet in front of you. Your goal now was to simply make it to the caravan without frostbite.

Around noon, you tried eating a bit of the bread you had packed, only to find it frozen. As well as the cheese. And the dried meat. It wouldn’t do good to gnaw on it either, as that would just make your innards cold as well, so you just went with your stomach protesting.

It was starting to get quite dark when you finally saw what seemed to be a glow in the distance. As you drew closer, it grew apparent that it was the caravan, and you sighed in great relief.

The dwarrow on watch were very suspicious. Of course, once you explained your purpose, they grew less so.

“I come from Erebor, in search of the Princes. Prince Fili and Kili left last night with the intention to travel here, have they arrived?”

The guards started to look a bit nervous.

“No my lady, no one’s seen anything of them.”

Your heart dropped to your feet.

“Are you sure?”

“Aye, the whole group would have known.”

You might’ve cried, but your eyes felt nearly frozen. You turned your pony, with full intent to head back out into the blizzard and look for your love, when one of the watchdwarrow stopped you.

“You’ll freeze out there my lady, as will your pony. Stay and get warm.”

“Aye lass” another said, “Besides, if the Prince’s are out there, her Lady Dís should be informed.”

Ah, that’s right. Dís.

One of the guards led Daisy off to get warm with other animals, while the other led you to Her Ladyship’s tent. He announced your presence, awaited approval, and then lifted the flap of the tent, beckoning you inside before letting it fall behind you.

Dís was a truly stunning Dwarrow, even for her age, with long black raven hair and a beard to match. Some strands were turning silver, much like Thorin’s, and her blue eyes were more piercing than an orc’s. She looked incredibly confused when you walked into her tent.

“Good Mahal lass, what the hell were you doing out in that storm? You must be senseless.” She said, looking up from a book she had been reading and furrowing her brows.

“I was looking for the Prince’s. I should introduce myself, my name is (Y/N).”

Dís’s eyes widened and she stood, showing off quite an impressive height.

“Why would you be looking for my sons out in this storm, (Y/N)?”

“They… Fili left a note this morning, he and Kili were coming to the caravan to see you. The watchdwarrow said they hadn’t arrived.”

The Dwarrowdams jaw went slack for a moment, and then she cursed, banging her hand on a small table that held a bottle of whiskey.

“Foolish boys! Have they no sense? I was to be seeing them in only a few more days, but they could not wait, could they? Och, the beasts!” Dís continued her rant for a while longer, before she turned her gaze back on you.

“And you journeyed out here in the storm?”

“Aye. I could not rest well knowing that they were out in this foul weather. I will be going to head back out to look for them as soon as I’ve warmed up a bit,” you replied, very conscious of the Mother’s piercing stare. She was quiet, until she breathed a worried sigh.

“It’s no use to search out in this weather, lass. Especially at night. Rest here with me, we’ll go searching first thing on the morrow. I must talk with the guards for now, make yourself comfortable, I will return soon.”

And, just like that, Dís left the tent. Her talk was brief, and left you standing dumb in the center of the tent. For some time, you debated on whether or not to go out searching anyways, but the fire was surely inviting, and something in you knew Dís wouldn’t take kindly to you leaving against her wishes.

Your travel bag, heavy and frozen from being exposed to the elements for so long, left your shoulders as you set it down by the entrance. Next came your gloves, and then the outer coat, snow and ice caked on it making your fingers fumble whilst trying to unbutton it. Eventually, it joined your bag, as well as your boots (if you had thought the coat was difficult to get off, the frozen buckles on your boots were torture). After you had stripped the burdensome clothing off, you simply stood in the center of the room, close to the fire. There were blankets nearby, piled near a bedroll, but you dared not touch them, seeing as they belonged to Dís. It was rather awkward, simply sitting in a stranger's (of sorts) quarters, and weren’t sure what to do.

Your eyes did some exploring for you, falling first on the book that Dís had been reading. ‘The Heart of Hrund’. Huh. You recognized the title, from the Great Library, but you knew very little about it. You’d have to read it now. Your eyes then fell to the whiskey bottle. ‘Breaker’s’. Ah. Memories you shared with Kili at the beginning of the journey returned, however hazed they were due to your drunken state. Strong stuff, Breaker’s was. Bofur managed to get his hands on a few bottles from a merchant, and you and Kili had stolen one from him, much to Thorin’s disappointment and Fili’s annoyance (he was upset to be left out of the fun). Your eyes then drifted to a leather-fitted box, beautiful khuzdul runes and designs etched into it, however, before you could get a closer look, footsteps crunched through the snow outside the tent.

Dís and a young dwarrow entered, carrying stew, bread, and a plethora of blankets and pillows.

“Mahal,” Dís started, placing the tray of food down on the little table and grabbing a quilt from the other dwarrow, “Have you just been sitting here freezing? You could have taken a blanket, you know.” She said, wrapping the quilt around your shoulders and moving you to sit down.

“I, er, I didn't want to be rude.” You replied, now sitting cross-legged on the floor. Dís screwed her face at you.

“Lass, it is never considered rude to take a blanket in the cold. Only exception is if someone is already using it.”

You didn’t reply, feeling very uncomfortable social-wise, despite finally starting to warm up physically. Dís grabbed the rest of the supplies from the other dwarrow and nodded at him to leave. As he left the tent, Dís set the other blankets down and started making a bedspace for you near the fire.

“I can help with that,” you said, starting to get up to help.

“Nonsense lass, you get yourself warm.” Dis stood and grabbed the food tray once more. “However, I do request that you eat.” she set the tray down in front of you, and you thanked her, feeling a bit guilty as you started on the stew.

“Uh, have you eaten yet, My Lady?”

Dís scoffed, resuming her work on your bed roll. “Don’t call me that child, call me Amad. I can hardly stand to be addressed in that way by servants, let alone my sons One. But yes, I’ve had my fill.”

Her words shocked you, having only ever heard Fili refer to you as his One. You hardly expected Dís to accept you as Fili’s lover, let alone his One.

“Alright.” You replied, once more feeling dumb and without anything to contribute. So you sat in silence, trying hard not to slurp and watching Dís make up your bed. Eventually, She moved up and away, surveying her work.

“Thank you, that was very kind.” you said. Dís sighed and nodded, sitting down on the other side of the fire. You were quiet once more, and were now re-considering going out to search for Fili and Kili, if only to avoid the discomfort of the situation.

“I hope you are only not talking because of the storm. I expected a much more chatty lass, if i’m being honest.” Dís remarked, eyeing you carefully.

Panic flashed through your eyes as you tried to think of something to say, but Dís let out a soft chuckle before you could make a fool of yourself.

“I’m only joking, child. You needn't be nervous here. Tell me, how was your journey from the mountain to here?”

“Cold,” You blurted out, shuddering as you imagined the wind biting your face. Dís smiled at your bluntness.

“Indeed, I imagine it would be, especially if you’ve been out all day. Tell me, was there any sign of them as you came over?”

You shook your head. “Unfortunately no, I could hardly see past my nose once the snow grew thicker.”

“I swear, those boys will be the death of me,” she muttered.

“Just be glad you weren’t Thorin trying to deal with all three of us,” you said without thinking. Dís locked eyes with you, and then started chuckling.

“I do not envy him, based on what I've read of you three. It seems that you made it your entire purpose to create trouble for my brother dear.”

“Well, we tried to. For the first half of the journey, at least. He was much more willing to withstand our meddling before we crossed the Misty Mountains. Then came the orcs, and goblins, and Mirkwood, Laketown, the dragon… and the battle too.” Your face had fallen whilst you spoke, and Dis reached out her hand to comfort you.

“You mustn't dwell on the hardships of the past, child. It does nothing but cause trouble for the mind. Believe me, I know.”

At that moment, Dís seemed to age very quickly, and the wisdom and experience that this dwarrowdam had became clearer. You knew her story well-enough, from nights Fili had needed to find comfort in you, telling you about his childhood and family. Dís had wed Víli Heptifilissøn, and twelve years after Kili had been born, he had fallen ill from the Black Lung*, and had spent months growing weaker and weaker until he perished. Fili was able to remember the wretched coughing, and his Adad’s ragged breaths, as clearly as the day it happened. It was the reason he refused to go deep into coal mines, or else made up excuses. If those memories still hung onto Fili, you could only imagine how horrible it must have been for Dís, who had to watch her husband suffer such a death. Looking at her now, you never felt more in awe of a single person.

“You speak truly, my Lady-”

She looked at you sharply, but with a twinkle in her eyes.

“-I mean, Amad.”

That satisfied her, and she relaxed her hand away. “I do indeed, child. Never has a lie crossed my lips. Except when I told Thorin that he had a mighty spider in his beard.” You chuckled at that, but it quickly turned to a yawn. Dís raised a brow.

“It’s time for sleep then,” she commented, “I’ll leave you in peace to finish eating, and then it’s straight to bed.” Dís stood and went back to her chair, and resumed her book, leaving you to scoop that last of the stew in your mouth. It was not long before you were warm and cozy in your makeshift bed, and Dís bid you goodnight before blowing out the lanterns.

You woke to shouting. In your groggy state, you couldn’t make out the words, and you blinked in the dim light of the fire.

“What new madness arises?” You heard Dís murmur, followed by the sounds of her fumbling about. The shouting grew nearer. “Are you awake, (Y/N)?”

“Only partly,” you replied, trying to untangle the covers from your legs. You shuddered as the extra warmth left, but hurried to your feet, only stumbling slightly. The noise was becoming considerably louder, and your ears could start to make out the words being yelled.

“Get a healer, lads!”

“He looks frozen stiff!”

“SHOVE OFF! WHERE IS AMAD?” Kili’s furious shout snapped you into alertness. At that moment, Dís was able to find a lantern, and finally the tent’s interior was more visible. The flap in front of the tent lifted, and Kili stumbled in, hair frozen with bits of ice and face bright red. With horror, you realized he was supporting another dwarf who was barely conscious. Fili.

You jumped to your feet and rushed towards your betrothed, supporting his other side and lifting his head. Fili’s lips were tinged blue, and his teeth were chattering bitterly, clacking together in a terrible rhythm. Dís was there not a second after you, and she helped guide you all to lay Fili down in the space you had slept just moments before.

“Strip him down,” Dís commanded, starting to work on his boots. You followed her orders without hesitation, helping Kili with Fee’s coat. It didn’t take too long for the three of you to undress him to his underclothes, and you winced when you saw his shoulder looked… definitely not normal. Dís pressed on it gently, and Fili made a weak groan that twisted at your heart.

“He fell off his pony,” Kili said.

“Of course he did. Kili, fetch a healer.” The younger prince sprang up, filled with energy even after being out in a blizzard for nearly an entire day. But he was hardly at the entrance when a grizzled old dwarrow entered, a satchel in hand and a hard look set in his features.

‘‘Hanarr,” Dís welcomed, nodding her head. The old dwarf grunted in acknowledgement before kneeling down by Fili’s shoulder, feeling along the bone. He grunted once more, before looking up at Kili.

“Hold down right here lad,” Hanarr instructed, moving Kili’s hands to rest on Fili’s other shoulder and chest. “Right, hold it firm.”

Hanarr outstretched Fili’s other arm, and began to move it towards his head. A click sounded, and Fili called out, however weakly. His shoulder looked back to normal again, and Hanarr quickly folded his arm against his chest, before searching through his medical pack and pulling out a sling.

“Sit him up, lad.” the healer instructed Kili. He propped Fili up against his side, and this time, Fili held his own head up, his gaze landing on you. Confusion flitted across his nearly-frostbitten features, and he mumbled your name despite of his state.

But Hanarr was upon him again, and soon the sling was fastened to his arm, and the Healer was moving his legs so that they were tucked against his chest. He addressed Kili once more, “Get rid of yer tunic, and stay close to yer brother” and then turned towards you, “do the same, but mind his shoulder lassie.” Without hesitation, you followed his command and soon Fili was sandwiched between yourself and Kili. Dís (with the permission of Hanarr), wrapped several blankets around the three of you, and soon set to work on making some tea. Hanarr presented her with a root of ginger, and, after seeing that all that could be done was done, decided to take his leave.

“He should be fine in a few hours, I'll come back to check on him soon. Keep him awake.” were his final words before departing.

The silence that followed his departure was intense, interrupted only by the sound of the fire, the kettle, and a knife. Dís was the first to speak.

“I would have your hides, if I was not so glad to see you again.” She said in a low voice as she shredded the ginger.

“I’m sorry Amad,” Kili said, eyeing the movement of his Amad’s knife, “Patience has never been my strong suit.”  Beside you, Fili shifted and rested his forehead against your temple.

“Indeed not,” Dís replied, her voice heating like the water she was boiling, “How did you convince your brother to join you in this endeavor?” Fili moved again, this time nuzzling his face into your neck and hair, his nose startlingly cold.

“Who said it was my idea?” Kili argued. However, Dís turned her glare on him, and He flushed and murmured, “he wanted to see you too, it didn’t take much to convince him.”

“(Y/N)” Fili said, drawing the attention away from arguing. “ ‘m tired.” He let his head rest heavy against your shoulder, and you (reluctantly) moved him away.

“You must wait to sleep, Kidhuzel,” You said, bringing your hand up to brush his hair away from his face. He opened his eyes wider, in sheer betrayal. You could have smiled, knowing Fili’s tendency to become unreasonably cross when denied sleep, but instead you kissed his cheek.

“Your Amad is making tea for you, and when you drink it, you’ll warm right up.” The blond prince’s eyes dropped once more and he tried moving back to the crook of your neck, only to be refused a second time.

“ I’d prefer Ale,” He muttered bitterly. At this, you did allow yourself to smile.

“Not a chance. Your heart might stop.” He grumbled and detached his uninjured arm from Kili, taking your hand and squeezing it with what feeble strength that had returned to his veins.

“It won’ stop as long as you’re ‘ere.”

Kili snorted, but was silenced as Dís sent him another glare, and you laughed softly, shaking your head and squeezing his hand back.

“If it worked that way, then I would gladly give you the finest Ale, however, I do believe tea would be a better option.”

When the tea was ready, you helped Fili to drink it. At first, the prince had winced at the heat, but soon he drank it gladly, becoming more alive with each sip. You sensed Dís watching you and Fili carefully, but brushed it off, telling yourself she was only concerned for Fili, not observing how you interacted. A small part of you that wouldn’t be silenced said it was both. Soon the mug was empty, and it had apparently helped Fili along much more than you anticipated, and soon he had detached himself completely from his brother and was pulling you closer.

“Careful of your shoulder,” you reminded him.

“ ‘s fine.” He replied, pressing flush against you. His skin had already warmed, thus proving the hardiness and hot blood of dwarrow. Kili scooted away, seeing that he was no longer needed, readjusted the furs covering yourself and his brother, and pulled his tunic back on. Dís immediately walked over and threw another fur across his shoulders, and pulled him into a tight hug, which he returned just as tightly. You averted your eyes when Kili started to sniff and tremble.

“I missed you,” he said.

“And I as well, inùdoy” Mother and son stayed in once another’s embrace, until she drew away and made him drink his fill of ginger tea as well.

A half hour later, you were struggling to keep Fili’s eyes open, and Kili had already crashed on Dís’s bedroll. The dwarrowdam herself grew impatient for Hanarr’s return, and had gone out searching for him. She reentered the tent with him not ten minutes later, and Hanarr (as grumpy and irritable as he was, he was an excellent healer), inspected Fili. Truly, your prince was proof that dwarves were nothing more than portable furnaces, and his temperature was more or less back to normal. He still was a bit out of it, but it was nothing a good night’s sleep wouldn’t fix. Soon Hanarr declared that it was safe for Fili to sleep, and almost immediately, the blond sank into your bedroll and began to snore.

Diís left after Hanarr, telling you to rest and call her if need be. You didn’t question where she was going, and she did not share it with you.

However tired and exhausted you were, sleep would not come. You sat in front of the fire for hours, feeding it and stoking it, keeping your mind entertained with the images dancing in the flames.

You had just finished adding another log to the fire, when a hand lightly gripped your wrist.

“Ghivashel” Fili said faintly. Your head turned towards him, and you smiled despite all things; for while Fili’s face was still red, his hair undone, and his eyes bleary, he was alive and conscious.

“Khuzd allakhul” you scolded, bending down to lean your forehead against his, “What sort of prince are you, to go out in the snow and frighten your lover?” You kissed his lips softly before drawing away just enough to wait for his answer.

“A very foolish prince indeed,” He murmured, his hand on your wrist pulling you back towards him. “But what sort of lover are you, to worry so greatly and come after me in the snow?”

“A very devoted lover, who has half a mind to leave now that you’ve insulted my care of you.” Fili’s eyes widened and he summoned his strength to pull you down, nestled in his side.

“Forgive me, I was not thinking of insulting you, amrâlimê. I just don’t want to see you suffer for my sake. Menu Tessu.” He said, turning his head to press a kiss to your temple. The beads on his mustache braids still felt frozen, but his lips were warm. You smiled and took his hand, entwining your fingers together.

“All is forgiven. So long as you won’t do anything as stupid as that ever again.” you replied. Fili sighed and kissed the side of your mouth.

“I shall try my very hardest not to.”

“That isn’t very reassuring.”

“Then you must forgive me once more, for I cannot make such bold promises whilst Kili remains my brother.”

You both chuckled at this, before settling into comfortable silence. Slowly, your eyes began to drop, the crackling of the fire and the steady rhythm of Fili’s breath making it harder and harder to evade sleep. The fact that the lion prince had begun to rub circles into your shoulder with his thumb wasn’t helping. After the third time you startled yourself awake, Fili’s voice was near your ear.

“You can sleep now, Amralime. I won’t be going anywhere.”

His words were nothing short of a spell, and in less than a minute, your eyes closed and sleep overtook you, a comforting, dreamless sleep, the best kind.

When next you woke, indeed, Fili was still right next to you, awake, but only just. He was blinking the sleep away, and you suspected that his movements had been what had woken yourself. Cold winter light was shining through the tent flaps, cutting like a blade through the warm glow that filled the inside, and a conversation was taking place.

“We left in the wee hours, m’lady, just before dawn. You can imagine the state Thorin was in when he heard that the entire future of Erebor was out in the snow.” The voice of Dwalin more than successfully brought you to awakeness, and you sat up, looking around for the source of his voice.

“Indeed, I imagine he would be weathering the floors with pacing. I expect we’ll be leaving soon, no?” Now Dís spoke, and by this point, you and Fili had turned behind you to see the pair talking over mugs of mulled wine. Kili was also there, however, he was still dreaming on Dís’s previous sleeping roll, limbs sprawled out wide and mouth hung open almost comically.

“Aye, as soon as these three are dressed and ready.” Dwalin said, turning his gaze onto you and Fili, brow raised and the slightest of smiles on his warrior face. “What a lot of worry you and your brother had us in,” he continued, addressing Fili specifically, “I swear to Mahal, you’ve no idea what sort of panic you caused. Course, when yeh come back with your shoulder like that, everyone’ll be doting on yeh. ‘The poor heir who got caught in a blizzard trying to see his Amad’, not ‘the fucking idiot who didn’t have any patience and went out in the night despite knowing there was a storm brewin’.” But all while saying this, there was humor and relief in the warrior's voice, betraying how glad he felt that the boys were not frozen under three feet of ice and snow.

“Both versions are correct,” Fili pointed out, his voice still croaky from sleep.

“Aye, but only the first version will get told.” Dwalin replied, to which you laughed. He turned his focus to you now. “Don’t think you’re innocent lass, Thorin nearly had a heart-attack when we couldn’t find you. Both the heirs missin’ was bad enough, but the lady who’ll be adding to the heirs disappearing made it all worse.”

“Och, Dwalin, she had a noble cause to come out in the snow, you needn’t blame her for anything.” Dís said, coming to your aid.

“Was our cause not noble and justified?” Kili’s voice piped up. The Prince's eyes were hardly opened, but he was more than ready to defend himself from accusations.

“Not when you were to be seeing me in less than a week. If I was able to refrain myself from going out into a blizzard in the late hours, you should have been able to as well.” Dís retorted. A sour expression crossed Kili’s face, but he dared not argue with his Amad.

“Right then,” Dwalin said, “Get yourselves up an’ ready, we’ve not much daylight left to get back to Erebor.”

*Black Lung: Coal miner’s pneumonia. 

Kidhuzel: Gold of Gold

Inùdoy: Son

Ghivashel: Treasure of Treasures

Khuzd allakhul: Stupid Dwarf

Menu Tessu: You mean everything to me

(part three will be out soon)

[funkymbtifiction]

Inferior Si/Se differences

I’ve been thinking about inferior functions lately. For example, Se is portrayed as the “weakness” of an INJ, but an INJ would still be more affected by Se than an ENP would, correct? <- Yes.

What prompted the question was that a friend (INTP) and I (INFJ) were trying to come up with a bucket list to finish before graduating, and one of the items was to go to a frat party eventually - not necessarily to enjoy it, but to get a sense of what it’s like.

I was asking my ENTP friend for potential adventures to add to the list. He said that just doing things for no reason except to check it off a list seems hollow. I said it seemed no different than when him and I fantasize about stuff our friend group could do together. He said it’s different because the stuff on our list has more “meaning” and would be more fun because it’s stuff we already know we like. He said there’s no point in going to a party if I think I probably won’t like it. I disagreed. I feel like he was having an “ew, not for me” response to the idea of going out and doing something potentially unpleasant for the sake of it, to figure out if it seems cool, and wondered if that was due to Si. <- this seems potentially Fi to me, I have to connect some 'meaning' to what I do, rather than Ti/Fe. It might also be tert-Si (INFP? I could be wrong). Where is the Ne-dom interest in novelty? In trying things out as part of self-discovery? Of open-minded-ness?

In the past, we’ve done stuff he thought he would dislike and he’s ended up liking it, so I’m not sure where the idea of needing to prescribe meaning to new experiences comes from. Similarly, everyone in my friend group except for one person and I use Si, so sometimes I suggest something (“pool party!!”) and people immediately reject it (no, not my thing/too expensive/getting out of pools is uncomfortable/etc.) which can be frustrating, because I can’t comprehend the idea of a new experience being automatically ruled out like that. It seems anti-fun. <- Si's often want to rely on what they already know that they like, rather than taking a risk, especially INP types. Some of their rejections are tied to personal experiences tho (I don't like swimming or I can't afford it).

[...] I consider myself not nostalgic. When people think back on old friends or experiences and wish they could go back to them, my instinctive response is [no]... the idea of regressing to a previous part of my life feels very wrong somehow, like I messed up the present and my work until now was pointless. Could Se/Si manifest in this way, even if it’s inferior?

Se types don't dwell on the past -- it's dead and gone. But it is never gone for a Si, it is ingrained in their soul and reinforced by familiarity.

[sitaarein]

None Stand Equal In This Dark World

A/N: Officially my largest ever fic so please. Just read it and be nice sob because I’m kinda proud of some of it

Written for @grishaversebigbang 2021!!!

Corporalki: @homicide-depot​

Materialki: @generalnabri (x), @kolarpem (x), @aivicart (x), @maximumbluebirdpatrol , @niadrawing (x)

 (Summary: A murder mystery AU featuring Zoyalai, twists and turns, moral dilemma, and then some more

Read on AO3

Chapter One

The apartment door was wide open.

 In retrospect, that alone should have set off the alarm bells in Zoya’s head. No one left the door to their place wide open. She can’t imagine why she simply dismissed it. 

 Scratch that, she knew why. She’d been tracking this idiotic Grisha for a month now. She was tired and desperate. 

 But it appeared that- who would’ve thought- not being at the top of your game has consequences. 

 Consequences like staring down a man who’s been tied to a chair and gagged in the middle of, what Zoya guesses is, the lounge, eyes wide with terror.

 Zoya is mad at herself for not managing to guess it was a red herring- the damn door - and very, very mad at the Grisha who has, once again, slipped right through her hands. 

 She nods to one of her men, and he immediately drops to the man’s level to untie and presumably interrogate him. Zoya doesn’t stick around for the details- she trusts her people to give her good reports. Instead, after a cursory look around, she tips her head back to face the ceiling, taking in a deep breath, and leaves the apartment. 

 The weather outside took a dramatic turn in the fifteen minutes she was inside- it had been sunny before, or at least as sunny as Ravka ever could get. But now, the sun has all but ceased to exist, and the bitter cold is back once more. 

 Zoya prefers the cold. 

 (She doesn’t, not really, but no one needed to know that.)

 Zoya starts walking, pulling her coat tighter around herself. Her mind races, trying to connect all the dots, trying to figure out where her investigation had gone wrong. Start from the beginning. Don’t miss anything. The most minor of details are the most important.

  The beginning. A woman showed up to their headquarters about her missing family. Those cases were usually dismissed completely, handed over to the police forces- Zoya’s force was Grisha-centric, other cases, no matter how large or important they were, did not concern them. But this case was different.

 The woman was Grisha. 

 Her family weren’t, evidently- and neither did they know that she was. They’d been missing for six weeks, and the odds were pretty heavily stacked against them still being alive. The woman was detained (she was Grisha, this was Zoya’s job ) and a group of officers were dispatched for a search and rescue.

 The officers never returned.

 Alarm bells were now ringing, and the General assigned Zoya to the case. In the time since she officially took over, twenty more disappearances were documented, and all of them in Os Kerva alone. Saints knew what was happening in the rest of the country.

 But Zoya had never believed in Saints, so she found out what was happening in the rest of the country.

 The total number of disappearances in all of Ravka that had this case’s signature mark- an eclipsed sun left wherever the victims were seen last- was an estimated three thousand . Zoya couldn’t believe no one had connected the dots before her. Then again, the entire of the force were filled with incompetent idiots, so maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her. 

  The series of events . Zoya travelled up and down the country with the best of her underlings, talking to anyone who knew the victims, searching their last known places with tooth combs, building up working hypotheses, using all the resources they had available. Zoya was not an idiot. She knew exactly how capable she was. 

 And she also knew when she was fighting a losing battle.

 And so, when she got a call from one of her top detectives about a confirmed Grisha she’d been trailing for some time now who’d begun suspicious activity, she was clutching at straws and willing to take anything that came her way. She met up with her agent, and a few days later, they got the address of the apartment she was currently pacing in front of.

  The present . This part could be summed up fairly quickly. Zoya is, once again, at a fucking dead end . 

 Before she can kick something (or someone) out of frustration, A faint ringing reaches her ears, and frowning, Zoya stops in her tracks. Her phone is never not on silent. Calling Zoya Nazyalensky for anything was utterly pointless- she never picked up. 

  But the GIA has ways of getting into contact with its members regardless.

 Muttering a curse, Zoya digs around her pockets, looking for the infernal device with its grating, high-toned ringing. Finally locating her phone, she jabs the answer button without looking at the caller ID.

 “Yes?” she asks bluntly. 

 “Zoya,” Alina’s voice greets her.  

 Zoya immediately forgets everything that had been on her mind. When Alina calls, it’s rarely for a friendly chat. 

 “What’s wrong?”

“You need to get back here. As soon as possible.”

 “Understood. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

 Alina hangs up immediately, and Zoya pockets her phone, mind racing.

 She orders one of her lackeys to send her a report when they're done, grabs the keys for the van they’d used to get to the apartment from a rather distracted officer, taking off.

 Zoya reaches the Grisha Investigation Authorities in approximately half the time she’d given to Alina, and she may or may not have disobeyed quite a few traffic laws to get to her destination as quickly as she did, but that was frankly unimportant. 

 She strides through the doors, not bothering to acknowledge the many who’ve halted their paths to nod to her or, in the case of a few particularly stupid (or courageous, however you wanted to see it) people, attempt to strike up a conversation with her. She didn’t break her pace even once, until she’d reached the door to the meeting room they usually used to meet up for serious issues. After taking a moment to compose herself, Zoya pushes the door open.

 Inside, she finds all of her fellow Commanding Officers assembled- Adrik, Leoni, Alina, and Genya. Frowning, Zoya scans their faces, and mentally shifts whatever’s happening even higher on her scale of terrible shit to take care of immediately.

 Because not even Leoni, who can find positivity at a funeral, is smiling right now. There’s barely a hint of her optimistic and eternally cheerful personality in her countenance. 

 Zoya carefully takes the seat left for her around the circular table. Her gaze flits from one worried face to another, and she decides to be direct.

 “How bad is it?”

 The question seems to jolt Alina out of her reverie. She looks up, and Zoya feels her breath catch, because she looks so… helpless. Terrified.

 Genya takes it upon herself to answer Zoya’s question with another question, her mouth set in a grim line. “How’s your investigation going?”

 “We lost the suspect,” Zoya admits, her earlier frustration returning with the reminder of the infernal case. “We’re right back to where we started- but without the hope and the general idea of where to start.”

 “I’m not surprised,” Adrik mutters. “Considering who your delightful suspect is…”

 Zoya furrows her brow, and glances back at Genya. “Explain.”

 Genya looks as if she would rather do anything else, but after coming to the realisation that no one else is about to, she sighs and does so.

 “I’m presuming you remember Alina’s case that went cold about two years back?”

  A little too well. Even years later, that case haunts her- the truly horrific killings, from corpses with their body parts stuffed down their throats, to children who had clearly been still alive when burnt, the utter dead ends, Alina’s far too close brush with death, and… the person behind it all.

 “You don’t think it’s the same person??” Zoya demands, horror spreading through her veins.  She can not handle another Kirigan. 

 In lieu of replying, Genya nods to Leoni, who pushes forward a large envelope. Dread pooling in her gut, Zoya opens the package to find pictures from Alina’s investigation.

 “We revisited these when your disappearances started,” Genya says. “And… found more similarities than we’re frankly comfortable with.” 

 Zoya shifts the photos around, and then freezes at one, having caught sight of a mostly blurry but still distinctive calling card. “That’s…”

 “The eclipsed sun,” Adrik provides grimly. “You’re screwed.”

 “Hey, now,” Leoni protests. “We don’t know that.”

 Adrik snorts. “Don’t we? Need I remind you of the damage this person wrecked to the GIA and our country?”

 “How do we know this isn’t just a copycat?” Zoya breaks in. “None of the bodies of the victims this time around have been discovered,”

 “Copy cats still tend to have their own twists on kills, a signature, a mark that’s theirs. While none of the killings for either case have many similarities, they also don’t vary in terms of said signature.” Genya says.

 “Killers are proud creatures,” Adrik inputs.

 “And this one’s no exception,” Leoni says, eyes grim. 

 Zoya looks up. “What do you know?”

 Leoni hesitates, but then gives in. “We got a note this morning. A photocopy should be in the envelope too.”

 Zoya overturns the envelope, and sure enough, a piece of paper falls out. She picks it up, reads it, and crumples it up. 

 “You’re sure this isn’t a stupid joke?”

 “It was in the Director’s office.” Leoni says. 

  Shit.  Zoya glances back down at the crumpled mass she’s still clutching. You will burn on your mistakes. What mistakes? 

 She ignores the faint voice in the back of her head. You know what mistakes.

 Zoya takes a deep breath, focuses her thoughts, and then exhales. “How’s the Director doing?”

“He’s terrified.” All of the COs seemed to be equally startled to see Alina was the one to speak. Her mouth is set in an angry line, and Zoya can guess the track of her thoughts, because they were the same ones that had crossed her mind upon hearing the words- who is he to be terrified? What right did the Director even have to feel scared, when he himself never so much as interacted with the cases???

 Adrik sighs, leaning back in his seat. “Which is what has led us to our current predicament.”

 “And what do you mean by that?” 

 Genya exhales in a huff. “He wants the Mentals on this case along with all of us.”

 “He what.” 

 Alina, lips twisted in a sardonic smile, gestures to nothing in particular. “You heard correctly.”

 “Why ??? This is my case, and I will handle it.”

 “He doesn’t want a repeat of the bad press that came with my failing last time, I’m guessing.”

 “Bad press,” Zoya spits out. “I wonder how much bad press he’ll get when I-”

 “Do not,” Genya warns. “This could be helpful to us.”

  But also a personal disgrace , Zoya finishes the sentence in her head. The Mentals were practically a legend of the GIA- they were special, elite investigators, a whole mix of people ranging from scientists to- if the rumors were correct- ex-spies, who ended up with the cases no one else in the force could solve, and somehow, without fail, solved each of them within a week at the least. 

 It was irritating as hell.

 And having them assigned on your case meant that the Director did not trust you to be successful on your own. 

 Absolutely wonderful.

 “So when are these... spectacular detectives arriving?” Zoya asks. 

 Genya opens her mouth, and then closes it, before starting, “Well-”

 “I hope I’m not too late to this marvelous party?”

 Zoya swivels to see who this truly abnormally cheerful person is, and then blinks. She turns back to face the others once more- Adrik still looks glum, Leoni is smiling her most polite smile, Alina seems to have perked up and Genya is genuinely smiling. They all look… unsurprised.

 Of course they were hiding more secrets up their sleeves.

 “ What,” Zoya finally breaks and asks. “Is the damned PR guy doing here?”

 The aforementioned PR guy pouts. “Is that really what I’m known for around here? My PR duties? That’s quite depressing. Why would you focus on that when you could talk about my stunning good looks, or my undeniable charm, or even my ability to-”

 “Nikolai,” Alina interrupts. “Shut up.” she looks at Zoya, a hint of dry amusement in her eyes. 

 “Zoya, this is Nikolai Lantsov, and he is indeed our PR guy, but he’s also… head of the Mentals.”

 Zoya blinks. He’s what??? And then, wait… they knew who the special investigators were? How long have they known? Why was I not informed?

 She doesn’t voice any of her thoughts, choosing instead to stare, unimpressed, at the blond, who grins at her in response. 

 “If I had known you possessed such astounding grace and beauty, Miss Nazyalensky, I would have made your acquaintance sooner! I’m sure these upcoming days will prove to be an absolute pleasure, provided I get to spend them in your delightful company.”

 “Saints save me,” Zoya utters faintly. “The Director assigned an idiot to my case.”

 “Hey, now!” Nikolai protests. “You haven’t even met the rest of my team yet!”

 “An idiot who talks too much,” she deplores. 

 Genya and Alina both snort at that. In fact, all of her fellow COs seemed to be taking far too much pleasure in this situation. Zoya hates all of them. 

  “Well, now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way,” Nikolai says, to which Zoya distinctly hears Adrik mutter “pleasantries?” under his breath, “I think now would be a wonderful time for me to introduce you to my brilliant team,”

  Genya sits up immediately, looking eager. Zoya wonders what that’s about. 

 She finds out fairly quickly.

 Nikolai ushers in a group of people, and she recognises one in particular, one who she has, in fact, known since her college years -

 David. Genya’s husband, David Kostyk, is a part of the Mentals. Harmless old David. Zoya can’t believe her eyes. 

 She scans the rest of the group, but the others barely seem familiar. The two Shu right in front of David look similar enough to be twins, apart from the height difference. Right next to David is a woman that, with a jolt, Zoya recognises as Adrik’s sister from what she’s heard and seen of her. Bringing up the rear is a man who vaguely resemblesNikolai himself, ducking his head shyly as he enters the room. 

 “Now that your merry party is all assembled,” Adrik says glumly. “Any ideas where to start?”

 “Shouldn’t we at least get to know each other first?” Adrik’s sister asks.

 Adrik stares at her. “I’ve known you since I was born.”

 “We’re not the only ones in the room, Adrik.”

 “Oh, aren’t we ? I can’t say I noticed.”

 Nikolai interrupts their glaring match to finally provide Zoya with names to all the unfamiliar faces. 

 “Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, and Isaak, meet the officers we’ll be working with for the next few weeks or longer- Alina, Genya, Zoya, Leoni, and Adrik,” he gestures towards each person in turn. Zoya briefly wonders how he already knows their names, before realising that just because the GIA didn’t know who the special investigators were didn’t exactly mean they didn’t know the GIA either. 

 “And now,” Nikolai beams. “Let’s get comfortable. It’s time to discuss our present conundrum!”

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in July

Once again I’m doing my monthly round-up of movies I’ve watched. This was a good month for the cinema getting back on track and seeing new releases including the new M. Night movie, Old and James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. Pretty sure Marvel put out a new movie also. I’m hoping that this list can help in guiding a decision about what to watch (or what to avoid) and introduce people to movies they may otherwise not have heard of or bothered to see. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie and maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. Here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of July.

Bridesmaids (2011) - 4/10

Off to a good start. I won’t say Bridesmaids is a terrible movie but I don’t think I’m exactly the target audience. As far as I know, this is a beloved comedy but I just can’t get on board with all the boring, juvenile humour; with Maya Rudolph shitting in the street, with Rose Byrne and Kristen Wiig trying to one-up each other at a toast that went on forever, with Melissa McCarthy shitting in a sink… the conflict is so done to death and makes the movie feel unspecial. I do understand the appeal of the film, especially for women in that before this movie the likelihood of seeing something like this, where women play up the more crass and gross side of comedy, was probably few and far between. But the story is very tired and while I did appreciate some moments, namely a couple of decent jokes and some of the more intimate scenes, for the most part it felt like they wanted to corner a more quiet type of line delivery in a way that was supposed to be understated but very funny so as to not rely on over the top body language or musical cues, and it ended up being super dull.

Spectre (2015) - 7/10

As far as I can tell, a lot of people don’t like this instalment of the James Bond franchise… but I really enjoyed it! I’ve really taken a shine to these Daniel Craig-era Bond movies and while I can’t say any of them are the most amazing thing, I have a lot of fun with them. The biggest problem I have with Spectre is the villain being utterly pointless and uninteresting in basically every way. The idea of every villain Bond has fought before being tied to this one organisation controlled by this one guy is ridiculous, and what makes it worse is that the villain is barely in it! There’s so much that doesn’t come together in this but as it goes, I still had a really good time. Daniel Craig holds the whole thing together; he is excellent as 007 and the main reason I’m up for each of these movies is because of him. Sam Mendes directs again after the previous instalment and for what it’s worth I do think he does a good job with some of the action set pieces and the locations. I’m so ready for No Time To Die.

Shazam (2019) - 7/10

Shazam is a genuinely fun superhero movie that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. I was having a great time throughout and while it could conform to some of the same tropes we’re used to with these kinds of movies, it still remained playful and used the character of Shazam to his fullest potential in a way that showed an understanding of just how silly the idea of a kid who can turn into an adult and shoot lightning out of his hands is.

High School Musical (2006) - 6/10

So as you may or may not know, I co-host a podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon. It’s a film podcast and every week I get together with my other co-hosts and watch movies. For episode 38, we watched the High School Musical trilogy. This first movie blew me away. I was really surprised with just how much fun I had, and if you want to hear more of my thoughts on the film, please listen to episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 2 (2007) - 4/10

We then jumped into the second and while it’s certainly not as good as its predecessor, there are still some brilliant songs that manage to top the last movie. Again, more of what I have to say can be heard on episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008) - 3/10

Senior Year was pretty hard to get through. I don’t remember it being as bad as it was, but then I didn’t really remember it anyway. It did however have one redeeming quality, which you can discover on episode 38 of the podcast.

The Piano Teacher (2001) - 9/10

What the fuuuckkkk. The Piano Teacher is horrendously affecting and I was so upset when it ended, maybe not because it’s not what I wanted but because it’s just so fucking dour and unrelenting. This is the second Haneke movie I’ve seen (after the original Funny Games) and I’m so impressed with how well executed it is. Following a woman who teaches piano, we get a glimpse into the life she lives, how sheltered she is from living with her mother at an age where you’d reasonably expect a person to be living alone or with a partner or friends (even going so far as to be sleeping in the same bed as her), and how repressed she is sexually. It’s clear she’s never experienced any kind of sexual interaction or romantic love with another person, so she goes out of her way to take control and make that happen. The upsetting nature of it comes from just what she does in pursuit of it or as a result of her repression, and what is done to her. It is by no means a movie to recommend to your parents but The Piano Teacher offers so much in terms of the ideas it presents (and I’ll admit there seems to be a lot more going on than I think I picked up on a first go round) about women in modern society, and about the portrayal of sex and expectations of people when it comes to how that is represented in a person’s character depending on their gender. I really enjoyed this movie but it is not for the faint of heart.

Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011) - 1/10

My podcast co-hosts decided it’d be a right laugh to add Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure to this episode and that might have been a fun idea for them because they got to watch it together, but I was just watching it alone. Just a 24-year-old man watching Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure alone and having a miserable time, I might add. But for a short and sweet ramble on what we all thought, please listen to episode 38 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Dr. No (1962) - 6/10

A lot of very iffy parts of this movie. A lot of discomfort arising from how black people are portrayed that really didn’t sit right with me. As far as a Bond movie goes, this first instalment in the series is one I’ve seen before and it’s not wholly engaging but it plants the seeds for the rest, with Sean Connery breathing life into the role and making an otherwise lacklustre plot bearable.

Black Widow (2021) - 6/10

I think probably the best part about Black Widow is the experience I had while watching it. It was great being back in the cinema with a couple of friends in a packed theatre. The energy was high and I’m sure for a lot of people, this is the first time they’d been to the cinema since Endgame. For what it’s worth, I did have a lot of fun with Black Widow and I’ve explained more of what I thought about the movie in episode 39 of the podcast.

The Climb (2020) - 10/10

The Climb was added to Now TV recently and I already knew I loved it, having seen it in an empty cinema theatre last year, which I had an absolute blast with. The Climb details the years of a rocky friendship told over scenes filmed as one-shots. Not only is the presentation something to gawk at, but the performances by the two leads playing these friends with a terrifically dysfunctional dynamic is truly captivating. They’re both trying to figure out their own lives and where one can come across as being rather selfish, the opposite is true in his counterpart, whom everyone loves. This is a truly funny and heartwarming movie with a lot to say about how we choose to live our lives and who we choose to be with. It’s a shame the distributors of The Climb didn’t do a very good job because if not for it being available on Now TV, it would be near impossible to watch without forking out more money than is necessary to purchase a film.

From Russia With Love (1963) - 5/10

The second Bond movie. I thought perhaps I’d change my mind on it with another watch, having seen it for the first time maybe a year ago. But no, it’s still largely boring and it treats women like absolute garbage. From Russia With Love is one of those movies I forget as I watch it, and I was trying very hard (in the middle of the day!) not to fall asleep.

The Good, The Bart, and The Loki (2021) - 1/10

I don't usually talk about the short films I watch but for this I'll make an exception. As we all should know, Disney owns The Simpsons now, through their acquisition of Fox, so, coupled with another of their properties, that being Marvel, they decided to make a six-minute animated film wherein Marvel’s Loki is stranded in Springfield. This felt as though it was a minute long due to the horrendously jarring pacing; it is a movie that feels adamant that it needs to exist, while trying as hard as it can to be over as soon as possible. It serves only to stare the audience directly in the face and say “look, characters from The Simpsons are dressed as Avengers”, shit out three credit scenes, then end before you’ve even processed the atrocity you just bore witness to.

Russian Ark (2002) - 8/10

For this next episode of the podcast, we watched a few Russian movies, starting with Russian Ark, a film shot completely in one take as the camera moves about a luxurious museum in a first-person perspective as this main character watches what is happening around him, seeing people moving about the place but unable to interact with them, guided only by another man who seems to be just slightly out of his own perception of reality. This is a tremendous feat in filmmaking and more can be heard about what I have to say in episode 39 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Ivan’s Childhood (1962) - 7/10

For my own pick of Russian movies to discuss on the podcast, I chose the debut feature from one of my favourite directors, Andrei Tarkovsky. It’s amazing that while this is not his best film by far, Ivan’s Childhood is still such a stellar debut, jumping around in its timeline as it details a child’s experience in the second world war. Again, I do go into more depth in episode 39 of the podcast, so be sure to check that out.

Outlaw (2019) - 1/10

The third movie chosen for this marathon is apparently the fourth Russian LGBTQ+ movie ever made. I’m unsure of the ultimate goal of this movie but what seems to be clear is that it hates the LGBTQ+ community. This is perhaps the worst film we’ve discussed on the podcast to date, so listen to episode 39 to understand exactly why it’s such trash.

Almost Famous (2000) - 7/10

I too love heavy music and also studied journalism so it stands to reason that a movie about a teenager who makes his way onto a band tour, following them through America and interviewing them as they hang out and play shows is going to be a premise that resonates with me. This certainly did. I enjoyed Almost Famous a lot; this kid is living the dream and I was so along for the ride, seeing a lot of myself in what was being portrayed. That said, the story itself is at times a bit by the numbers and I really would’ve been more on board if the visual component was more interesting. For what it is, technically it’s fine enough but nothing in that department ever jumped out at me.

Minari (2021) - 8/10

It’s crazy that this didn’t get a theatrical run where I live in the UK. It feels as though I complain about film distribution all the time but I really don’t understand the process by which a movie gets no cinematic release and yet, months later will pop up on the front shelf of hmv, taking pride of place. But of course I got the blu-ray straight away. Minari has a lot to say about the immigrant experience, specifically in America as a family comes over from Korea and tries to start a business and make something of themselves. You get to see a lot of what you might not think twice about when you think about immigration: the hardship of coming from a place where you know everyone to somewhere rural and sparsely populated, having to make friends with locals and integrate within the community; the strain it can put on a family and on a marriage where this idea is presented about the importance of making it on your own in order to live and not just survive, while also taking into account why you’re doing it in the first place and the value you place on being part of a family that you decided to make because that was more important than money, than economy, than proving you were good enough to make it in a place that gave you very little advantage from the offset. This concept of the promised land, of the American dream is a construct. There are times when it’s not pretty, when you have no running water, or you’re in debt, or a family member is dying and it just feels like you’ve been dealt as bad a hand as you can get. But it is better to know you’re not facing all that alone.

Roma (2018) - 10/10

This was my recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. Roma is as beautiful as it is heart-wrenching and I would recommend listening to episode 40 of the podcast to find out more about my thoughts.

An American Werewolf In London (1981) - 8/10

In all fairness, London is enough to make anyone a little crazy at the best of times. An American Werewolf in London showcases some fantastically grotesque effects, akin to something like Carpenter’s The Thing, in showing the dead brought back to life and a horrifically gory transformation scene. Although the film is from the perspective of an American protagonist, directed also by an American, the depiction of British culture and climate is something I’ve not seen many films pull off quite so well, and I was pleasantly surprised at the more comedic tone the film has overall, which is something that works more in its favour than straight horror would.

The Party’s Just Beginning (2018) - 6/10

Karen Gillan’s directorial debut is… pretty good! There are a lot of ideas I like in this movie: a woman living life and through convenient circumstances, is confronted with death in many ways. Gillan obviously knows her homeland as well as she can, imbuing the whole thing with an intensely Scottish vibe (though maybe not in the same vein as something like Trainspotting) that makes it a bit more unique than a more run of the mill movie of this ilk, backed up in no small part by her own main performance. The plot itself is no great diversion from the kind of story I’m used to with these smaller movies and for something that’s trying to include messaging about transgender issues and suicide, it probably could have been handled better or done in a different way.

Solaris (1972) - 9/10

Another Tarkovsky joint, one I thought I’d revisit to see if there was indeed more to get out of it a second time. Well, it’s no surprise that yes, there was certainly more to get out of it. Solaris is a crazy trip of a movie and I would liken it to Kubrick’s 2001 in terms of how grand the scale of it feels. Yet this is a film that comes across as deeply personal, choosing to focus on a specific character as he goes to a space station to help those on board who are experiencing some kind of emotional crises, only to feel the effects of the planet, Solaris invading his own mind as it has the crew. To many, I can see this lengthy Russian sci-fi being a tad slow but my personal experience is one of deep engagement. Solaris pulls its viewer in a lot of different directions and it is always doing something unexpected in terms of where its narrative goes. There’s a lot to think about with the movie and thankfully it’s no chore to watch again.

Y Tu Mamá También (2001) - 9/10

Another recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. This is a very relaxed experience, following three young people as they go on a road trip, visit different places and have sex. Listen to episode 40 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast for more of my thoughts.

Children of Men (2006) - 10/10

My favourite Cuarón movie, one that never stops being tense as its characters are constantly moving towards the end goal. Set in a future where humans are infertile, the oldest living person is 18, and London is the last city in the world that’s still keeping it together, somewhat. This is masterclass filmmaking. Listen to episode 40 of the podcast for more insights.

Minority Report (2002) - 5/10

I’m really not the biggest fan of Spielberg… Minority Report is an interesting movie in terms of its concept of stopping crimes before they happen by way of prediction, but I just didn’t connect with the heart of it. The colouring is way too overexposed in a way that’s supposed to be eliciting a futuristic vibe but instead feels so early-2000’s in the worst way. My biggest problem with Minority Report is just how long it is, clocking in at two hours and twenty-five minutes which allows for a lot of meandering, all while never quite developing characters enough for you to care about.

Caché (2005) - 9/10

Oh god! Another Michael Haneke movie! Here we see a couple periodically sent video tapes featuring hours of footage of the outside of their house. The anxiety ratchets up and the mystery gets deeper with every minute. There’s always at least one moment in any of his films that have so far made me realise just how out of my depth I am. Caché is no exception, and I won’t spoil anything here because I think it’s better just to watch the movie and see for yourself. He is a director that wants the audience to know something and that something is never what is explicitly shown at face value; it is pressed into the fabric of the film - plainly evident, yet hidden. Caché is so stupidly clever in displaying its themes and messaging - making reference to the Siene Massacre of 1961 as well as a deeper study of colonialism - and there’s no way to change a single detail of it without risking the Jenga tower crumbling to the ground. It all works in tandem. It is passion and fury and haunting.

Coco (2017) - 7/10

Pixar had a string of around seven forgettable movies before this point so thankfully Coco emerged to show the company still had something good in them. Coco deals a lot with themes of death and legacy, remembering those who are gone in order to preserve them and while its plotting is quite basic and there are certainly moments that either drag or cannot escape the same Pixar formula, most of what the movie has to offer is a lot of fun, with creative, colourful animation and emotional beats that resonate the way they’re supposed to.

Incredibles 2 (2018) - 5/10

Oh, they almost had it! There's a lot here that could have been explored in far more interesting ways. Setting Incredibles 2 directly after the events of the first movie was not a good idea. If it had taken place five or ten years after, the characters could have been in different places in life and it would feel as though they'd actually changed and developed. But instead of trying to be a film that actually cares about its characters and the journeys they go on, a lot of the film is wrestling with the idea that Bob isn't supportive of his wife and Jack-Jack has to fight a raccoon… They have to shoehorn in a villain that in no way compares to the genius of the original. The ending of the original introduces another antagonist that gets wrapped up within this film's first ten minutes, except they don't catch him and he's never mentioned again. It's a real shame because the animation is fantastic and the acting is superb and there are great ideas sprinkled throughout. It just doesn't come together.

Toy Story 4 (2019) - 6/10

I was rather reluctant to watch Toy Story 4 because from the get-go I’m not really here for sequels being made just for the sake of it. Everyone loves Toy Story and making another one is a sure fire way to make money. This is the first time I’ve seen Toy Story 4 and for what it’s worth, I did enjoy it. The animation is immaculate and that alone feels like a huge flex from Pixar who tend to step up the game when it comes to animation in film, despite not having the best track record for films generally at this point. While it was nice to see these characters again, I found a lot of them to be side-lined (namely Buzz) in favour of a story that focuses mainly or entirely on Woody, who I just don’t like as much as in the previous movies. Generally the movie is good and decent enough but there’s no real antagonist and the plot is quite loose… it doesn’t feel as though it needed to be made from a story point of view.

Onward (2020) - 6/10

And with that I have seen every Pixar movie. And Onward is a fine one to go out on. While I don’t think it compares to the likes of earlier Pixar it’s still pretty fun. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for a medieval setting filled with bright colours and magic! Speaking of which, the animation was super and the medieval quest element is something that hooked me with the film. Again, plot-wise it does feel very familiar and I don’t know, maybe I’m past the point now of expecting Pixar to mix it up where their formula for story-telling is concerned but the movie is quite predictable. Nonetheless, while I’m not rushing back to see Onward I would hardly turn it off or refuse if someone wanted to watch it.

Old (2021) - 3/10

Oh boy! New M. Night movie dropped and my word, was it fun! For more of my thoughts on this… masterpiece (?) of a movie, please direct your attention to episode 41 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

T2 Trainspotting (2017) - 5/10

Trainspotting is perhaps one of my favourite movies and I had never bothered with the sequel, 20 years on, because the ending of that first movie is so conclusive. T2 felt more an excuse for these guys to get together again and in that, I probably would have preferred a couple of pictures on Twitter of the main cast and director, Danny Boyle having dinner or something. This is a fine movie - very arty in its presentation but meandering and dull in its story that doesn’t offer much in the way of proof that it had to exist.

Taste of Cherry (1997) - 9/10

What makes life worth living? This is a central question and theme of Taste of Cherry, and one that leaves such interpretation not only up to its central character but to the viewer as well. This film got me thinking about times in my life when I truly have had no answer to hard questions. Because it’s hard to convince people of things they are so adamantly against and harder still to rationalise what you believe if you’re not even entirely sure why you believe it in the first place. We are all of us alive and in recognising that, does that make it precious? And if indeed living is not a happy thing, why then should we fight so hard to preserve it? I felt upset as I watched this movie because I’ve been asked these kinds of questions before and it makes me feel stupid when I’m unable to answer. But the only real answer I can give is, everything. And if you can’t see the point then you’re not looking hard enough. Taste of Cherry is beautiful in its exploration of these topics and in its overall presentation, offering some of the best visuals in any movie I’ve seen - fitting for a feature with so much to say about the beauty of life - and an ending that as much pulls the rug out from under you as it does pull you out of the dark and make you realise just how lonely you’ve felt.

Bones (2001) - 2/10

Snoop Dogg is Jimmy Bones! This film is super funny but I’m not sure it’s trying to be and I really didn’t love it overall. But I do talk more in depth about it in episode 41 of the podcast.

The Duchess (2008) - 5/10

Another recommendation for the podcast. The Duchess was pretty much exactly what I thought it was going to be and there’s a lot to like about it but generally it’s a bit sparse. For more chat on the movie, listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) - 1/10

This was another one for the podcast and man, was it awful. We had to watch it at 1.5x speed towards the end because it just wasn’t getting finished otherwise. To find out more, make sure to listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) - 7/10

Pull the lever, Kronk! Haha! Slays me. I do quite miss this era of Disney, where the animation was hand-drawn and the stories were actually compelling and funny. The Emperor’s New Groove is vibrant, it’s got great characters and memorable moments that will forever be ingrained in the memory of culture. All in all, it’s just a solid flick that doesn’t waste time, developing the standard fall from glory type of arc but smoothly and in an entertaining way.

The Suicide Squad (2021) - 8/10

Oh, bloody hell! They actually made a good one! The Suicide Squad is not only better than the ‘Suicide Squad’ of 2016 in every way, it’s a genuinely great film! This time, James Gunn (director of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies) is at the helm and it seems clear that Warner Bros. basically let him do what he wanted with the movie, as it doesn’t seem to bog itself down with the restrictions of a more family-friendly rating. The result of this is a far cleaner, colourful film with a clearer vision that takes from early Vietnam movies and uses that style to craft a superhero/villain movie that differentiates itself among the copious amount of existing films of the genre.      The Suicide Squad wastes very little time, introducing fun, crazy characters we’ve not seen on the big screen before and isn’t worried about killing a whole bunch of them, with standouts being Elba’s Bloodsport, Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2, Stallone’s King Shark (expertly rendered with fantastic visual effects), and Robbie’s returning interpretation of Harley Quinn.      A lot of Gunn’s trademark sense of humour is laced throughout and more often than not, it hits. The audience at the cinema were truly loving this movie and I’ll admit, I was right there with them. This mix of the gritty, gory and absurd is not something that should work as well as it does but the basic premise of the film is already so silly (and boy, do they know it) that it just works! Certainly one of the best DC movies since The Dark Knight and one I’d be more than happy to watch again. This is what the modern comic book movie should be: just balls to the wall fun!