#excerpts from a book that won't be published

[early-october-snow]

My mother created this version of herself in my mind. This person who tells me no one loves me, I don’t deserve it, the people around me are disgusted by me. She whispers cruel words in my ears, pointing out every roll, every extra bit of pudge, every pimple, every unattractive curve, every wispy strand of hair out of place. 

She makes me hate myself. 

Some women they- they aren’t made to be mothers.

[hooked-on-elvis]

[FAN STORY] "Those five or six minutes that will stay in my heart forever" — Excerpt: "ELVIS: Live at the International" by Kieran Davis (2011)

February 18, 1970: Elvis backstage with fan, Judy Cherry. Judy is an England "super fan" of Elvis, who met him in 1970, at the International Hotel in Las Vegas, NV.

Here's Judy's recollections of that moment:

"... The first thing I said when he came out was just a whispered 'Elvis!' He put his arms around me and gave me a nice warm hug. I told him I had waited fourteen years for this and he said 'Have you? That's a long time to wait, isn't it honey?' Then gave Jamie (the girl with me) a nice hug and said, 'Did you come all the way from England?' She said, 'Yes' He said, 'Thank you, hon.'

I said, 'Elvis, do you have time for a couple of pictures?' His answer was a warm, 'Sure.' So while Jamie was getting my camera out, I showed him a copy of the Elvis Presley story, that I had brought with me, and told him I had had it since 1957. He seemed genuinely amazed. He came across this one real old picture and said, 'This really is old, man. I was 21 years old here!'

Note: Possibly, Judy is refereeing to a magazine called "ELVIS PRESLEY: THE INTIMATE STORY MAGAZINE" (Published in 1957)

IMPORTANT UPDATE -- March 2024: I won't erase what I published orignally because there are friends who reblogged it already and I feel this can look confusing, but one minor correction is needed. This magazine above is definitely NOT the one Judy Cherry was holding for Elvis to sign. @whositmcwhatsit posted the actual book on her blog which is "The Elvis Presley Story edited by James Gregory, introduction by Dick Clark". I apologize for the wrong assumption I made, friends. I had never saw the actual book cover (until now), thus when researching the name "the Elvis Presley story", as Judy mentioned in her recollection, it only got me to think the magazine I shared on my original post [the one above] could be a the one she was referring to. My bad. Well, it's corrected thanks to our wonderful Jade. ♥ I hope you don't mind, dear, if I use the picture of your copy to illustrate this post.

Photo by the copy our friend Jade [@whositmcwhatsit] bought. Lucky girl! Precious!🥹🩷

[Continuing the story...]

"In between these dribbles of conversation we had taken one picture (shown at the beginning of this post), had some trouble with the flashcube and now we're taking another picture... then he turned to Jamie and said, 'Now we are gonna get one with you, aren't we honey?' I got the picture, he said goodbye to Jamie and came over and gave me a hug. I said, 'Goodbye, Elvis, I'll see you tomorrow night... whether you see me or not: cause I'll be going to the show every night for the rest of the time.' He seemed really surprised at this and said 'Eleven times! Thank you so much, sweetheart. I just wish I could meet everyone of you!'

"He kissed me goodbye and he was gone but the 5 or 6 minutes will stay in my heart forever."

♥

One of the things I love the most about EP (and what turned me into a passionate fan of his) is how loving he was with his fans, he really listened to them. He treated them like people, not numbers or simply "admirers". He cared about giving them the time of their lives once they were there to watch him performing or even if they were just around to ask for his autograph or pictures. Elvis was truly genuine when interacting with them — actually this word "genuine" is used by many of the fortunate fans who got to meet and talk to him, to describe EP's interactions with them.

He cared so much about his fans that it's said he could remember the frequent ones by their names, all of them, the die hard fans, and even asked about some of them to his other fans whenever they were uncommonly not around for a few days (specifically talking about the fans that hanged around at his homes gates now).

EP was a great guy. He deserved all the success he conquered. The best performer ever! It's always said the good ones are always taken from us too soon. Well, that seems to be the truth, tragically. How we wish we could see and talk to him today, having such great memories like Judy's, while EP would be at his 88 year-young of a well-lived life. Imagine the conversations with this guy! The stories he could share with us. Anyway, we'll forever cherish you, EP.⚡♥

[historicity-was-already-taken]

i have this excerpt from Notes from the Warsaw Ghetto: The Journal of Emmanuel Ringelblum printed and framed

Like, I paid an etsy seller to print it for me on the nicest cardstock with the best ink, and then I waited in line and paid a stupid amount of money to have it framed at the Michael's custom framing counter. And I have zero regrets. I've probably posted this excerpt here before but I don't care. It is everything.

The heroic girls, Chajke and Frumke—they are a theme that calls for the pen of a great writer. Boldly they travel back and forth through the cities and towns of Poland. They carry “Aryan” papers identifying them as Poles or Ukrain­ians. One of them even wears a cross, which she never parts with except when in the Ghetto. They are in mortal danger every day. They rely entirely on their “Aryan” faces and on the peasant kerchiefs that cover their heads. Without a mur­mur, without a second’s hesitation, they accept and carry out the most dangerous missions. Is someone needed to travel to Vilna, Bialystok, Lemberg, Kowel, Lublin, Czestochowa, or Radom to smuggle in contraband such as illegal publica­tions, goods, money? The girls volunteer as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Are there comrades who have to be rescued from Vilna, Lublin, or some other city?— They undertake the mission. Nothing stands in their way, nothing deters them. Is it necessary to become friendly with engineers of German trains, so as to be able to travel beyond the frontiers of the Government General of Poland, where people can move about with special papers? They are the ones to do it, simply, without fuss, as though it was their pro­fession. They have traveled from city to city, to places no delegate or Jewish institution had ever reached, such as Wolhynia, Lithuania. They were the first to bring back the tidings about the tragedy of Vilna. They were the first to offer words of encouragement and moral support to the sur­viving remnant of that city. How many times have they looked death in the eyes? How many times have they been arrested and searched? Fortune has smiled on them. They are, in the classic idiom, “emissaries of the community to whom no harm can come.” With what simplicity and modesty have they reported what they accomplished on their journeys, on the trains bearing Polish Christians who have been pressed to work in Germany! The story of the Jewish woman will be a glorious page in the history of Jewry during the present war. And the Chajkes and Frumkes will be the leading figures in this story. For these girls are indefatigable. Just back from Czestochowa, where they imported contraband, in a few hours they’ll be on the move again. And they’re off without a moment’s hesitation, without a minute of rest.

He only namechecks Chaike Grossman and Frumka Plotnicka here, but I can tell you for a fact that he's also referring to Tossia Atlman, Tema Schneiderman, and Lonka Kozybrodska. At least.

So far the count of Jewish women (that I'm aware of) who have responded to "They are a theme that calls for the pen of a great writer" with a book (or long-planned book) are three: me, Dr. Lenore Weitzman (who won't return any of my emails) and Judith Batalion (who did return my emails, had lunch with me, and told me that Dr. Weitzman wouldn't respond to her emails either). I hope more Jewish women--in and out of the academe--continue to take up this call, and I hope they keep getting published and aren't rejected because it's "too similar" to mine and Batalion's. No like seriously like two months after I signed with my agent, and one month after I got my book deal, I received a rejection from a lit agent saying that my book was "too similar" to Batalion's. Ok first of all it's not. I read Batalion's the day it came out, and they're very different books with very different focuses, goals, and approaches; the only thing they have in common is that they're both about this underserved, underappreciated group of amazing women. There SHOULD be multiple books about each and every one of them. There SHOULD be multiple books about one day Tossia spent in Vilna. Every white man who looked sideways at WW2 and the American Civil War have like, 87 terrible books dedicated to them, and I DEMAND at least 3 for each of these women. And 17 for Queen Zivia. (Who does have a biography, written by Bella Gutterman). Plus a biopic. So this post went in a direction.

tl;dr:

[sunniedesi]

Sakae Esuno's Old Blogs (Author of Future Diary)

If there is one thing Sakae Esuno is known for, besides being the creator of Future Diary and three other manga series, is his privacy. He’s never had a very active presence online like other mangakas, given that he doesn’t post much on Twitter and he’s also not given many interviews. That being said, Esuno did have a few blogs back in the day with interesting content to look into. While not active anymore, the blogs can still be accessed through the Wayback Machine, albeit lacking some of its images.

Esuno’s official blog was originally hosted on the site Sakura. The page went through many changes throughout the years, to update the blog whenever a new project or volume of his current manga was on sale. 

This is what the page looked like during 2005 - 2006, dedicated to his first manga “Hanako and the Terror of Allegory.” All the page shows are the history of changes to the site (top right of the page) and his schedule for publishing the volumes of the manga (bottom right).

Snapshot from April 2005

Snapshot from December 2005.

The top of the page says “As previously announced, a new series titled "Future Diary" will begin its publication in next month's issue of Monthly Shonen Ace. Since I'm busy with work, there won't be any major updates to the homepage. Please be patient and wait for next month's issue.” The other two changes in this snapshot were the addition of Amazon links for each volume of “Hanako and the Terror of Allegory” and changing the schedule to feature Future Diary’s release in January 2006.

When Future Diary came out in 2006, the page went through a major overhaul to center on this project.

Snapshot of June 2006

The text here features a synopsis of Future Diary

Snapshot from February 2007

The text here is announcing the sale of volume three, and at the bottom requesting for assistants.

The updated blog also featured three new subpages: 

The character vote, where people could vote for their favorite characters and leave their opinions in the comments.

The webstore for all of Esuno’s mangas.

And the official picture section, where Esuno displayed different pictures and banners free to use for people’s personal blogs, as long as Esuno was credited. While this page is saved on the Wayback Machine, none of the pictures load. It’s possible some of these were illustrations from the manga, but it’s also possible that a few of these were unique drawings from Esuno, meaning we might have some lost media here, unfortunately.

In 2009, Esuno moved his blog to a different domain, though still powered by Sakura. This new version of the blog brought about more personal posts from Esuno, such as updates on his work progress for both Future Diary and Big Order, sales announcements, his thoughts on the series and its many iterations, etc. This blog was active until June 2018.

Most of his blog entries are visible through the Wayback Machine, with the exception of 13 entries from 2009 and two from 2011. Many of the pictures are also inaccessible through the Wayback Machine. While I won’t translate every blog entry (since they’re mostly updates on sale dates), I decided to translate a few excerpts that I felt were interesting enough to look at in this post, particularly those about Redial and Esuno’s interviews.

Excerpt from entry of December 26th, 2012:

* About Future Diary: Redial It’s already been announced in the Big Order Obi (note: Obi is a strip of paper wrapped around manga that usually displays information about the product, special announcements or ads), but both the anime and manga of Future Diary will receive an OVA in July of next year. Both the comic and anime will feature new content (the book will not be sold as a standalone piece.) Both stories take place in the third world, and follow Yuno’s journey to meet Yukiteru again. They’re a sort of sequel to the manga and anime. I’m in charge of the plot, while Takayama-san (FD’s screenwriter) is in charge of the screenplay.  (I’m very thankful for the fun script he’s provided.) It wouldn’t be fun to write the exact same story for the manga, so I’m planning to go in a different direction.  Lots of characters will make an appearance in the anime (Akise included). Please look forward to it!

Now, onto an entry from March 12th, 2013:

* About Future Diary: Redial I sent the manuscript for Redial a few days ago. I’ve been taking a break from Big Order since last month to work on Redial’s manuscript. I apologize to the readers of Big order for this short wait, the series will resume publication on April’s issue of Ace. (Photo unavailable) (Here’s a drawing of Yuno trying her hardest to reach a candy that’s high up… lol) I asked my assistant to read the manuscript, and she pointed out that some of the pages were quite dense in content, so I should provide some explanations for the plot.   Hence, today I’d like to explain Redial’s plot a little. As I mentioned earlier, Redial is a story of how third-world Yuno regained her memories of Yukiteru. The anime will be sold in bookstores with the manga attached. Please preorder it through Kadokawa’s website or your local bookstore.  I wrote the plot for the anime, and participated in the script meetings. The manga is a little different from the anime, but they both share the storyline of “third-world Yuno recovering her memories of Yukiteru.” I’m sure that the anime will turn out well because Takayama-san’s script and Hosoda-san’s storyboards are very fun. It seems like it’s still in the works, though. Now, about the manga. You could say the Redial anime and manga are in competition with one another. The anime production team may not think so, but I do (lol). The anime and manga productions each took their own approach to the theme of “third-world Yuno regaining her memories.” Of course, I participated in the creation of the anime, so the basic premise for both is the same. (questions like “what happened to Yuno’s body after she died?” or “what happened to first-world MurMur?” will be answered in both.)   Both the anime and manga have their merits, I didn’t try to make any weird adjustments to the manga; I just had fun while making it. So, I think it will be interesting to watch and compare the differences between style and media. ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー A side note. I started considering them competing projects after “Next Project” was announced (we still hadn’t decided how to go about it). Kadokawa: “Let’s do another book store release.” Esuno: “Uh, there isn’t much to draw from the third world.” (in terms of story for the manga.) Production: “Please write us a premise, and we’ll decide what to do from it.” (hopefully, we’ll get material for the anime from there.) Esuno: (Huh? I was supposed to be making the manga, but now I got dragged into this…?) (Now I have to write a plot with the anime in mind.)  ~ After many meetings, the script was finished (a good one, of course). Esuno: “Well, I’ll take the more favorable aspects and write the manga on my own.” Esuno: (Ehehe, I’ll just do what I want, I’ll change the plot to suit the manga…) … That’s kind of how it went. ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー Well, the first part of the manga version will be published in this month’s issue of Ace. (It’s about 15 pages). I hope it will give you a feel for the rest. Though, please remember that for the reasons mentioned before, the content will differ from the anime.  Redial feels like killing two birds with one stone.

I’m adding these excerpts in because it explains a lot of things about Redial. If you’ve seen the anime and manga versions of Redial, you know that they’re substantially different. Finding out that not only were they purposely written to be different, but that the anime script was made before the manga, is also very interesting to me. I was always under the impression that the manga came first, and then they based the anime off that, but it’s the other way around. Though it’s very easy to tell they were written by different people; the anime went for a more fan-service/slice of life approach, while the manga centered more on Yuno’s mental dilemmas. Maybe I’m biased towards Esuno, but I always preferred the manga version of Redial for its more serious approach. 

Entry from March 21st, 2013:

I came across a lot of things while working out the manuscript.

This is Minene’s Mosaic cover. In the end, we only used the top part of the illustration, even though the bottom part was fully drawn. There’s more stuff, but I’ll only upload it if I find the patience…

Excerpt from June 25th, 2013: 

Incidentally, when I was interviewed in Italy, a reader asked me: “which is your favorite character?” (I often get asked this in interviews.) My answer was something like this: “If your kids asked you which of them is your favorite, you wouldn’t be able to rank them. So, in that sense, when I talk about my favorite characters, I’m referring to the ones I had the most fun drawing.” You might think my favorites are Akise, Minene or Reisuke (of course, I like them all), but there are no characters that I dislike. If that were the case, I wouldn't have drawn them in the first place. For example, my assistants really disliked Funatsu, but I still enjoyed drawing him… (lol) (As a side note, when I first heard Maruyama-san playing Funatsu in the anime, I was so impressed. I thought to myself: “he’s the real Funatsu!”)

I also remember reading that Esuno had a picture of a limited edition shirt in his blog. I’m not sure if this is true, but it might be on one of the 13 missing entries. I’m bringing this up because I’ve been meaning to obtain a better picture of the shirt’s graphic (I want to recreate it lol), or at least figure out what the circle surrounding Yuno is. I can make out what it says on the inside, which is Yukki (ユッキー) written over and over again, but I have no idea what the outer rings say since it's not Japanese. 

Before ending this post, I want to add that Esuno had at least two other side blogs before his official site, which are also accessible through the Wayback Machine. This is a personal blog that dates back to 2003 and a Bulletin Board Site, which is sort of like 4chan, where several people can comment on a forum dedicated to a specific topic. BBS sites were very popular back in the day, particularly in Japan, and Esuno seemed to be quite keen on them since it is a topic that’s often brought up in his first manga: Hanako and the Terror of Allegory.

These sites are more focused on the release schedule for Hanako, so they don’t contain anything Future Diary related (since they predate the manga), but I think it’s relevant enough to add for anyone interested. I assume Esuno must’ve been active on other board sites, but these are the two only ones linked on his official website, hence they’re the only ones I’m aware of.

Lastly, here are all the recoverable images from the Wayback Machine:

[jessi4fanfics]

Excerpt From: The Plague (A Trolls Fanfiction)

Okay, this is a crazy story idea. I think Imma write about the trolls getting a sickness kinda like Covid but it's only through like poison in their water (someone put it in there BUT I WON'T TELL WHO-) and so the whole story is gonna be Poppy trying to solve who did it and why while having a new friend (Fern🌿) help her find out what the antidote is.

BUT THROUGHOUT ALL OF THIS Branchifer gets what they call "The Plague."

So this excerpt is just what happened after they found out that Branch has it, and he's already been in the hospital, he's good, he's fine, all he has is sudden dizziness and is kinda confused at times, but other than that he's good. Poppy visits him every day and one day she finds out that he has enter PHASE 3 of THE PLAGUE

pls tell me what you think of this. I WANNA KNOW IF THIS BOOK WOULD BE WORTH WRITING. Very dramatic but it was fun to write so far. If I do publish this it would be both

btw, this is in the middle of the book. I'll tell you more deets later if you guys like this small part.😉

Poppy walked into the doctor’s office and walked up to the front desk.

The troll behind the desk seemed surprised to see her there. “Oh, uh– can I help you?”

Poppy frowned. “Um, I’m here to sign-in to visit Branch– like usual.”

“Oh.” The trolls looked a bit embarrassed. She fiddled with her glasses. “I’m sorry, Queen Poppy, but no one is permitted to see him right now.”

Poppy gaped. “What? Why? I always see him at this time of day without fail! He’ll be worried if I don’t!”

The trolls finally sighed and said, “Poppy– Branch has completely lost consciousness.”

~~~

Poppy didn’t remember her bewildered daze once the troll told her the news. 

She didn’t remember her screaming Branch’s name as she burst through the door into the hallway searching for his room.

She didn’t remember any of the nurses trying to tell her to stop, trying to reach for her, as she ran into his room.

She didn’t even hear Dr. MoonBloom’s comforting, “I’m sorry, Poppy,” or feel her gentle touch on her shoulder. 

All she remembered was seeing Branch lying on his hospital bed, his eyes closed, his body limp, his chest barely moving up and down, almost as if he was asleep.

All she remembered was hearing the machines “beep beep beep” slowly, but surely.

~~~

He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t dead. He isn’t dead. How many times they had to repeat it to Poppy before she believed them.

When she sat down on the chair beside his bed and reached for his hand, it was cold.

It was never cold.

She didn’t cry. She didn’t complain. She just bit her lip and gave a tuneless hum, trying to block out the sound of all of the “What ifs?” pounding into her brain at the moment.

She wished the stupid world would just swallow her up and leave her out in space where she wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

Branch was gonna die. And it was all her fault.

“Queen Poppy.”

Poppy finally looked up at the doctor, who’s violet eyes were looking gently at her.

“Queen Poppy, this is not your fault. He has just entered Phase 3 of the plague. The first phase, you remember, was just fevers and sleepiness. The second, as you also probably remember, was sudden dizziness and confusion. Now, Phase 3, he’s just– unconscious. His body is fighting back. It needs all of his inner strength. It was expected.”

Now the tears began to fall. Poppy knew what Phase 4 was– the slowing of the heart. That usually only took a day, from what the doctors said. Then Phase 5 was–

“We’re working on the antidote too, Poppy. We want Branch to get well too,” Dr. MoonBloom continued. “We probably have a few weeks before we should really worry. He’s basically just in a coma right now.”

That wasn’t helping. Not even a little bit.

“How long has he been like this?” Poppy managed to gulp out. Couldn’t have been longer than a day, she only saw him just yesterday afternoon.

He had been perfectly fine. Dizzy, but fine.

“He lost consciousness last night– around nine or ten. About 15 hours ago.”

Poppy bit her lip even harder. If they didn’t find an antidote within a few weeks– she wouldn’t even be able to say goodbye.

“We’ll keep him on his medicine just in case he wakes up.” The doctor said this as if she didn’t believe one bit that this would happen. “Until then, Fern is helping us figure out the antidote.”

“Okay.” Poppy sighed. “Can I just– have some time…alone with him? Or would that be stupid?”

Dr. MoonBloom immediately got up. “No, of course! Take your time!” She set a hand on her shoulder again. “He’ll be alright, Poppy. I promise.”

Don’t make promises you can’t be sure you’ll keep, Poppy thought.

Poppy sat down on the chair for a little while, just holding Branch’s cold hand. His breathing was ragged, his face expressionless. Even when he slept he had more expression.

The stupid plague. Whoever put them in this terrible situation had better feel sorry. Poppy still had no clue who had put that poison in the water, but she was going to find out. It was hard enough that Branch was diagnosed with it, but to have him be– like this?

“Branch, I promise,” Poppy whispered gently, leaning over closer to her boyfriend, “whatever I do, I’m going to put this troll to rights, and this whole situation. And– I’ll do anything I can” oh darn here came those stupid tears again “to save you. I promise. I promise.”

She kept whispering those words to herself over and over as if they’d make a difference. She thought of all the times Branch had been there for her. 

He deserved everything she had and more. He didn’t deserve this.

“I promise.” Poppy said it one last time before kissing his hand, gently setting it back on his bed, and getting up and leaving the room.

Btw, the rest of BroZone finds out about Branch being in this phase later in the story. THANKS FOR READING LOVE YA -@jessi4fanfics

[the-casbah-way]

so i'm thinking of making a down then left blog or website after the fic is finished. it will be sort of like a directory for all the extra content i've made for the au that won't be in the fic itself

things i would put on the website include:

chapters i removed from the original draft, including chapters from jed's pov

drabbles (smut, post-canon and pre-canon scenes, and sections from the unofficial sequel that i won't be publishing on ao3)

concept art and excerpts from the octavius and amelia prequel

any of the art or stupid little doodles i've made, including the Office Drama comics

all the world building art and notes i made last year before the fic was written (floor plans and designs for the office and octavius' house, art moodboards, etc.)

stuff from my down then left book including timelines of jed and octavius' lives and basic facts and introductions for all the characters

playlists (as well as the ones that are already public i have ones for dexter, kahmunrah and amellia, and a general fic soundtrack with tracks for specific scenes)

if anyone would be interested please let me know !!!

[leftistfeminista]

Sexual violence: the forgotten chapter of the military dictatorship of Brazil

Despite being present and constant, the sexual violence practiced by repression agents, authorized by the regime's top brass to torture any suspect, is hardly mentioned in history books and other more common records about the period. One of the challenges faced by consultants, academics and specialists who worked at CNV was precisely to bring these reports to light.

"Sexual violence is an unknown aspect of the military dictatorship. Even today, even after the publication of the CNV's final report, it is something that remains little known because it is a taboo topic and carries this extra burden when discussed", says Glenda Mezzaroba, scientist politician who coordinated the working group "Dictatorship and Gender" at the CNV and author of the book A reckoning with the future: amnesty and its consequences, a study of the Brazilian case . "

According to the political scientist, it was extremely important to conceptualize very well what can be considered sexual violence using the concepts of international bodies such as the World Health Organization. Especially because at the time of the military regime (and even today) the concept of sexual violence and rape are very focused on whether or not there was penetration. And the reports collected show that there was, indeed, sexual violence that did not necessarily involve penetration of the vagina or anus, "The majority of victims did not have the idea that being forced to be naked at the time of arrest is already sexual violence," explains. "We even observed that there were allegations of sexual violence in the book that Carlos Marighella published in 1965, reporting electric shocks to the genitals. However, there was not much clarity in the classification of this violence.

The chapter reserved for sexual violence in the final report of the National Truth Commission published in 2014, showed how the agents of repression had a macabre appreciation for the practice. In the reports, the initial act of stripping the prisoner naked and placing him in front of other agents and spectators was standard. Verbal humiliation, accusations and death threats against companions, family and friends then followed. Women were raped in front of their spouses as a way to get them to hand over information.

"I was there, I was vulnerable, completely vulnerable. Then the guy put his hand inside my clothes and then, well, like any other sexual abuse, I won't describe details, but that's what happened. His hand went through everything and I don't know what. He said: 'No, she's going to cum, with me she's going to cum and she's going to talk'. That's just normal people's stuff."

The excerpt above was taken from the testimony of Ieda Akselrud de Seixas, daughter of Minas Gerais militants, raped at DOI-CODI in 1971 when her entire family was arrested for involvement in revolutionary movements that fought against the military regime. Ieda, like several women and men, reports that it took some time to understand that the rape she suffered was also part of the military's torture method.

"But it took me a long time to realize that it was sexual abuse, do you know why? I minimized that episode because, after all, it wasn't a macaw's dick, it wasn't a shock and it wasn't a dragon's chair. That's really crazy! It's really crazy," she said.

Maria Auxiliadora Lara Barcelos, known as "Dora", was arrested in 1969 and taken to the Army Police barracks , in Vila Militar , where she was stripped naked, beaten, and subjected to electric shocks on her breasts, vaginas and various parts of her body. She was banished to Chile in 1971, but had to leave the country because of the Pinochet dictatorship. Dora never recovered from the emotional consequences left by torture and committed suicide in 1976 at the age of 31 in West Berlin. Photo: Reproduction.

The simple fact that they were women, whether left-wing militants or not, was also a reason for the military to curse and verbally humiliate the captured women. The common sense was that they were to blame for being there, as it was far from their role as daughter, wife or mother. Gender hatred was evident. That's why they called them "whore", "slut" and any other adjective that is the counterpoint of saint. The only two roles applicable to women in the regime's view.

"Because you are a woman, you also realize that there is perhaps, sometimes, a much greater anger, I don't know if it is because of the question of thinking 'why is a woman doing this? Why is a girl doing this?' And it's a way, perhaps, of wanting to disqualify you in every way. In fact, the least you hear is that you're a 'cow' That's the way you're called," reported Maria. Aparecida Costa to CNV.

According to the final report, sexual violence was not occasional but rather widespread as a common practice throughout the repressive structure of the regime. "In the testimonies analyzed by the “Dictatorship and Gender” working group, DEIC, DOI-CODI, DOPS, Galeão Air Base, Army Police battalions, Casa da Morte (Petrópolis), Cenimar, CISA, police stations, Oban are mentioned. , military hospitals, prisons and barracks," says item 37 belonging to chapter 10 of the final report of the National Truth Commission.

In addition to the emotional scars that the torture left on the victims, there are still some who carried great guilt for having given up information about their companions during the torture sessions. This issue was also addressed by the team coordinated by Mezzaroba. In an anonymous statement, a woman reports the great guilt she felt after not having resisted the pain during torture and revealed information to the military. She was arrested at 19 years old.

"(…) We can hear in the speech of many of those who have gone through the experience of imprisonment and torture, referring to themselves, expressions such as “I resisted”, “I didn't inform on”, “I didn't turn anyone in”. Or, referring to others, expressions like: “he didn’t open anything”. (…) Expressions that, on the one hand, reflect the feeling of pride and honor of those who say them, also carry with them, implicitly, even if subtly, a painful accusation against those who say them. who, for some reason, didn't resist. Maybe they don't understand their pain," said the victim in her report.

Mezzaroba says that the owner of the above statement carried a load of guilt, apart from the inevitable psychological consequences of anyone who was a victim of torture promoted by the State. "She brought great pain, embedded in this logic that you should resist and not give anything away. In fact, everything that happens from the first violence in torture, nothing becomes the victim's responsibility after that. (…) she was the victim of unspeakable and incapable of measurement violence. Nothing that happens under torture is the responsibility of the victim. There, the human being no longer has control over his or her body. which is really important."

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Hi again.😊 I've run into something... odd? when trying to figure out how to fit all twelve years of Devil's Minion into the show timeline. I'd really like your input.

So I'm trying to make sense of Daniel's "kids-and-marriage" timeline. Alice being his first wife and the car seat thing muddies it up for me.

According to gaypiratedivorce's Chronological timeline on Ao3, (found it through your bookmarks, so thank you❤), car seats became mandatory in America in 1986. The excerpt that Louis reads aloud from Daniel's memoir states: "I am in my Buick, staring in the rearview mirror at my daughter in the car seat, (...). My editor reminds me, it's seven years before car seats are mandatory. My ex-wife reminds me, I never owned a Buick." This means his first daughter was born before 1979. Based on Daniel's comment in 01x06, he was 20 years old in 1973, so he must have been a father by the age of 26.

We don't know whether the ex-wife referenced here is Alice or his unnamed second wife, but we do know that one of them must have been around already to remember what cars he owned (and didn't) at this time.

We also aren't given any indication if he was in any relationship with the mother of his eldest child at this time, or ever.

In 02x02 we learn that Alice told Daniel she was pregnant in 1985. From my understanding this was immediately after she had turned down his marriage proposal, so he and Alice are not married at this point. We are told that Alice was his first wife, so the second marriage happens sometime after this.

This makes the minimum age difference between Daniel's two daughters 6 years. His daughters don't appear to have the same mother, since when talking about Alice telling him she was pregnant in 1985, there was no indication that this would be their second child.

By June 2022, when the second interview takes place, he's twice divorced, with two daughters. His oldest daughter would have to be at least 43 years old when he goes to Dubai, and his youngest would be 37-38.

From 1979 to 1985 the only information we have about Daniel is: 1) he was working, (02x05: "I was never so messed up I couldn't hold down a job"); 2) he is not married; 3) timing of irl. law that might not be the one used in the show indicates that he already has a child, but we know nothing about them or their upbringing. Seems unlikely that he was a single father, but we know nothing about the mother.

Thoughts?

Ok, so I have thoughts on this.

Like, first off, I think Armand was full of shit when he said Louis asked him to make him forget what happened in San Francisco. He said Louis asked three days later, after getting out of the shower. And there is no way he was healed up enough to take a shower in three days, even if he was slurping up Armand's blood often. he was only a vampire for 62 years. less than a century. the sun would burn the shit out of him. I think Louis had to do that thing vampires do in the book, and take a power nap for a few years.

Cue Armand being all alone. And he hates that. Plus, he still has to find out what makes Daniel fascinating. He literally said to Daniel in 2x05 'teach me how to be fascinating'. like that may not be the exact wording, but you know what i mean. so he starts to stalk daniel.

daniel, of course, does not remember him bc Armand literally mind-wiped him. all Daniel has is vague memories about being bitten. so maybe Armand goes on his whole 'i won't kill you as long as i find you interesting' bit. or maybe he says something else entirely different or nothing at all. until eventually they start to talk, and debate, and fight, and fall in love.

i think the chase timeline from the books was shortened, and Daniel and Armand were probably in a relationship by like, somewhere in the back half of 74 or the first half of 75. And I think it probably went from zero to sixty pretty fast.

based on what we know so far, we have no info on Daniel publishing anything from 1974-1978. So I think Daniel and Armand could have had a relationship those four years.

then something happens, and they break-up for awhile. (daniel had this thing about leaving then coming back in the books) so maybe during that time he meets Alice. Maybe even gets genuine feelings for her. And then he gets her pregnant sometime in 78, bc the kid is born by 79.

Daniel remembers a car seat. And while car seats weren't required, General Motors did make one in 1969. Here is a picture of what one looked like in 1977:

And most people didn't really start using them to around the late 70s, when different states started making laws. So Daniel could have a car seat in his car in 79. Likely Alice's idea, not his, since he is literally buying drugs from some guy with his daughter in the car with him. Not dad of the year material.

Here's what I think, at some point Daniel's relationships with Alice and Armand overlapped. He remembers being in a Buick with his daughter in the back seat bc he was with Armand in a Buick at some point. Probably not with his daughter, but it could be possible. (There could be some scenario where he's taking care of the baby alone and Armand shows up and they go on a wacky adventure together. But that scenario probably only exists in my imagination.)

I don't believe Louis was aware of their relationship, bc he showed no real signs of remembering something like that. That means that Armand either hid it from him, or made him forget it. Maybe Louis was asleep through the whole thing, and Armand never told him about it.

Or maybe Louis did wake up. And his waking up put pressure on Armand and Daniel's relationship. Bc Armand would have to divide his time between them. Daniel isn't stupid, he probably figures out there's someone else. And maybe he demands that Armand make a choice. And Armand chooses Louis. But he wants to choose Daniel, only Daniel hasn't given him reason to trust him. Like, Daniel having a kid with someone else may have been enough to end the relationship.

I think the relationship with Alice comes after they break-up some time in 78. In the books, when Daniel becomes a vampire, he's 32 and has left Armand for six months. (It's also 1985 there, but roll with it) The longest he ever had. Some maybe he leaves Armand for an extended amount of time. It doesn't have to be six months, but it's probably at least two or three. And during that time he could have met Alice, been having his rebound fling with her. Then she gets knocked up. So you know, he sticks around for the kid. Kinda sorta. Bc he's still seeing Armand. I think that he would have to know about Louis, to bother starting a relationship with someone else. Bc the book says that him leaving is a thing that happens more than once. So maybe the first time he leaves is bc he finds out about Louis, and he meets Alice and knocks her up. Who knows? I think it's been left vague on purpose so they can tweak things as they need to. Or maybe he just takes up with Alice after leaving Armand 'for good'

I'm not entirely clear on the timeline. But I do believe something happened between Armand and Daniel sometime 1974-1978/79. At that point they either break up and Armand erases his memories.

Or their relationship shifts into an affair on both their ends. Like that line about them being secret lovers from the book is taken literally. Daniel has Alice and Armand has Louis. But they can't quit each other, and keep seeing each other secretly. Daniel proposes to Alice in 85 and she says no. Probably bc Daniel was a shitty boyfriend. As one tends to be when they are in love with someone else.

But he likely does propose bc she's pregnant. After he's 'gotten his shit together' I can imagine his not marrying Alice after getting her pregnant the first time is something that could have caused resentment from Alice. Maybe she implied she wanted Daniel to propose before this. Maybe she didn't trust him bc she suspected he was cheating. But I do think that Daniel didn't propose until after he lost his memories of Armand.

So like, somewhere between 78-85 Daniel and Armand break up for the final time. But exactly when I'm not sure.

But I am 100% sure that Armand is going to fuck that old man. They are going to get together. And I will feel that comes from seeing something I've shipped over two decades kiss on screen. Or like, bite each other.

[azsazz]

I need assistance from the Fic Finders!!!

Elucien fanfic.

Elain is secretly a writer. She hides her latest draft(s) in the library/study of one of Feysand's houses (I think it was said to be in the river house?? Or maybe the townhouse?? WHATEVER—) by putting it inside some old book that nobody ever bothers to even touch.

She stows away her latest draft,,, when Lucien just happens to be around to witness her sneaking around and everything.

Against his better judgement, he snoops (oh boy) and CUE THE DISCOVERY : Elain writes some FILTH.

(If I'm not misremembering...) Elain catches him mid-discovery.

She's worried he'll go spill the secrets to Feyre & co. He won't. BUT he WILL tease her about it.

I can't remember much past that... I can recall a few little details, though :

I f*ckin' SWEAR I remember something from the excerpts, where Elain's main male character calls the FMC "my gem" and it's, like, a whole thing (maybe?)

Nuala & Cerridwen were the first & only people who knew about Elain writing what she does. They found something she wrote by accident → Elain was embarrassed at first, but they enjoyed reading it & told her as much → they convinced her to publish it (under an alias) and helped her find a publisher.

[innocenthedgehog]

Writeblr Intro

Hello everyone! I'm Tom (he/him), and I decided to join Writeblr to make some more writing friends. I have no idea how any of this works, but let's give this a go and see what happens!

My Writing

I mainly write YA sci-fi, though I'm open to a bunch of other things

I started writing seriously in April 2021, messed around with a few projects, finally finished a first draft in 2022, shelved it, and have been project hopping ever since. But I've finally found a story I have passion for, so here's hoping purgatory is over!

I'm a pantser

I like third-present, first-retrospective, pretty prose, specificity, pulpy action scenes, unique worlds, sympathetic characters, disaster characters, sympathetic disaster characters

WIPs

Beneath the Burning Sky

I call this story Berg for short, after my friend was very mean and called it ice Dune lol. This is my main focus, and a book I hope to traditionally publish someday. I have no idea how much I'm allowed to share with that caveat, so I'll probably avoid major plot things.

Genre: YA sci-fi sapphic romance

Status: Currently drafting, approximately 25K

Description: When they're both stranded in the frozen wilderness by an attack on their planet, Lana (a village hunter) tries to bring Sierra (the president's daughter/rising star of the stage) back home. Rivals to lovers, class conflict, winter survival. Lana may have a long-lasting crush on Sierra from watching her performances on TV. Also sentient flying snake aliens which are very friendly. Mostly. I promise I will write an actual blurb soon lmao

To Dream of Brighter Shadows

This has a very complicated history which I won't go into now, but in it's current form, it's a project I desperately want to write some day. The discovery writing I've done for it so far is by far my best prose.

Genre: Adult literary sci-fi

Status: Discovery writing

Description: A university student struggling with burnout and undiagnosed neurodivergence uses VR cybernetic implants to try and rebuild her old life.

Space Spies

This is entirely vibes right now, but it'll probably be the book I write when Berg's first draft is done.

Genre: YA sci-fi thriller

Status: Brainstorming

Description: Think Cherub/Gallagher Girls in space. May or may not include aliens.

The Ether Cycle

I will not let this distract me.

Genre: Adult? epic fantasy

Status: I will not acknowledge this exists. Though I may have the start of a magic system. And a world. And a conlang.

Description: A world made of floating islands, trees that are impossibly tall, reverse waterfall elevators, magic airships, teleporters, matchlocks? There is no plot.

Can't wait to make some friends here. Please like/reblog/friend me if you like the sound of any of this. I'll be sure to post some WIP intros and some excerpts soon!

[early-october-snow]

I wasn’t lying, when I said you were beautiful. You looked so shocked when I said it. I realized afterwards, that perhaps I am the first to say it to you. That made me want to say it over and over and over again.

The beautiful Jane Woolf. 

The beautiful Jane Woolf.

The beautiful Jane Woolf.

The beautiful Jane Woolf.

The beautiful Jane Woolf.

The beautiful Jane Woolf.

The beautiful Jane Woolf.

Do you believe me? That you are beautiful?

[greenerteacups]

Dear GT,

I'm among the many admirers of Lionheart, and I can't stress enough how deeply, madly, and profoundly I love it. Your sharing of this masterpiece is something I'll always be thankful for.

I've mulled over this extensively, but would you mind terribly if quotes, phrases, scenes, and the like (the ones we often see of published books?) from Lionheart were shared on other platforms?

There are numerous passages and scenes I feel compelled to shed light on. Lionheart holds immense literary value for me, and I'm certain there are others who feel the same. I'm eager to exchange views on Lionheart with fellow enthusiasts.

Please don't hesitate to decline if you have reservations, as I too am wary of the potential negativity that often accompanies popularity. I trust your expertise, which is why I'm seeking your opinion.

I'd be mortified if my actions inadvertently caused any harm to you or anyone else.

Hello, friend!

Firstly, thanks for a really beautiful message. It's made my day.

With respect to sharing Lionheart — sure! From this message I'm not sure exactly what you have in mind, but here are a couple of thoughts:

Quotes/excerpts/short passages: yeah totally! Go for it! Talk about it with anyone you want to, anywhere you want to! It's really courteous of you to ask about this.

Please don't repost full chapters/the fic in its entirety (I have cleverly defended against this problem by writing a fic so bonkers fucking long that it would require Herculean efforts to do this, but it's still worth saying — if not for you then just to make sure it's in writing)

I don't have Instagram/Facebook/TikTok/etc., and I try not to engage too much with discussions of the fic outside of AO3 or my Tumblr inbox. Unlike those spaces, Reddit/Facebook/etc. are platforms for negative criticism about fic, and people deserve spaces to do that without the author breathing down their neck. Just as I can set etiquette for my inbox, readers have every right to share their opinions and enjoy the (valid!) fruits of critical discussion; I have neither the ability nor, frankly, the desire to stop them. I'm a big girl, and I take responsibility for my own Internet experience. The only way I even feel empowered to reject that kind of feedback in my inbox is because I pointedly leave space for readers to do it elsewhere.

All of this to say: if you want me to see something, please send it here or in the comments section! Otherwise, I probably won't.

[goodluckclove]

hello hello! i saw your post for aspiring writer :p that's me. I used to write a lot growing up and even started a book and was going to get published but life happened ya know. I wrote fanfiction, fiction, and poetry. Life got very messy for me and then I got back into doing music and now i want to write stories as well again. I am a person of multitudes i guess, i want to do so many things at once. Anyway, you don't care about that. I'm writing a story right now and I just need motivation, maybe someone to read the things i write and tell me if it's bad. What services do you provide my friend?

Hi there! First off you should do me the favor of never calling yourself an aspiring writer ever, ever again. I hate that label with a fervor that is frankly unreasonable. You've written. You just told me how much you've written. If you've finished a novel or fanfic or even a fucking poem you are no longer aspiring to write, you're just writing.

But that's besides the point. Uh I don't really offer services so to speak. This definitely isn't a business for me, my business is writing. I just see a lot of people on here struggling to do something they really want to do and I try to help whenever I can. I'm a sort of obsessive writer-type, and people seem to appreciate my enthusiasm, as aggressive as it may be.

I certainly won't read your writing and tell you if it's bad, though. Like holy shit, do people do that? Why do you want that? I've read a lot of people's writings, mainly first drafts, and I've never given it back to a single person and just said "this sucks". If anyone ever reads a first draft like that the proper response ranges somewhere on a scale between "it's supposed to, it's a first draft" and "go fuck yourself". That's so mean and unhelpful and really not the sign of having any respect for the craft or your fellow writers. If I ever was in a room with someone doing that I would probably have to leave to gather my composure before privately pulling aside the writer being "critiqued" and informing them that the person giving their ""constructive feedback"" is, in fact, a dipshit.

The first draft of a project can be as fucking loose as you want it to be. It does not matter if it is not immediately publishable and that's a buckwild standard for a writer to hold themselves to. I post excerpts from my first drafts on here, both to show my process, and also to let people see my typos that come from typing and thinking too fast. All of that is fine. You go back once you're done and tinker around like you're building a car.

You wouldn't look at the engine of a sports car and say "that's a bad sports car" unless you were being ironic or revealing you don't know shit about how cars work. Like yeah, it's a bad sports car, but it's a fucking great engine. It's got all the tubes. I don't know about cars. Either way, you get the skin on (the car skin?) and you'll find it looking a lot closer to what you imagined. It just takes time, and that's okay. It takes time and trusting your own intuition as a writer.

Once again, not an ASPIRING writer. A WRITER. You are a WRITER. No writer here, myself included, is an authority over you and please do not let them be. A lot of the writing advice accounts are run by people that don't actually make their own writing or reading tastes available, meaning you run the risk of being misled by someone you'd otherwise disagree with just because they have an official branding. It's manipulation and a lot of their information lacks nuance or is just blatantly incorrect. But that's a separate sticking point of mine.

Trust yourself. Write your story. If you find it weak or indirect or not truthful to what you're trying to express, that doesn't mean it's bad or that you failed. It just means you have to keep honing your skills and practicing. This is a craft you can spend a lifetime developing and that sounds scary, but once you stop treating every pitfall as a moral failure it's actually really fun and fulfilling. I'm still learning too!

Yeah and if you find you can't write at all, feel free to just jump in my DMs and we can talk about it. That's mainly what I do. I'm pretty good at getting to the nitty gritty of the issue.

[wordsmithic]

What would you say is the worst retelling of Greek myths,

At this point there are THOUSANDS, so you can understand why I cannot answer this by taking every book into account. I can tell you about some retellings I saw that will stick with me forever - and not for good reasons. Let's begin...

The winner of this shitshow: "The good side of wrong" by Jenika Snow.

A ddlg erotica posing as a HxP retelling. And before you say anything, it's not about the kink, okay? It's about many things, including Persephone being barely legal and Hades being predatory and abusive, and her actual blood-related uncle in a modern setting. I only stomach some pages desperate friends sent me because of the violence and even blood related to sexual acts. Out of many nsfw and violent excerpts, let's go with the "mild" one. (Uncle Hades harasses his niece Persephone at school)

Daddy: Bunny, when I call you, answer. I went into the contacts, clicked his name, and promptly changed it. I’m at school. Leave me alone. I was just about to toss the phone aside when it chimed with another incoming text. Asshole: Did I ever tell you how pretty you are when you sass back? I shouldn’t have liked that praise. Asshole: Are those little fuckers at your school leaving you alone, or do you need Daddy to come and break their kneecaps for looking at you? DO I NEED TO GO ON? I don't think so

Wanna write erotica? Fine! Do you absolutely HAVE TO have the supposed "Greek gods" as the characters who spank each other and tie each other from walls? If that writer was me I would never look even an ancient statue of Persephone or Demeter in the eyes EVER AGAIN!

I want you to look AN ACTUAL ANCIENT VENERATED STATUE OF PERSEPHONE (this one was to be placed near a grave I believe), I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT GODDESS PERSEPHONE, AND TELL HER "I am writing ddlg about you hehee". You are sooo out of touch, people! No, look at her! Look at her and think of ddlg, I fucking dare you

I've also seen some Anglo USian authors on Twitter crying about "people not respecting the greek gods" and when you go on their profile they write this type of erotica with the Greek gods....

Second "honorable" mention: Lies We Sing to the Sea, by Sarah Underwood

As the author hasn't read the Odyssey and yet her book is a published for profit retelling based on the Epic, I am not going to read her book but still provide my opinion on it. Magical how that works, eh?

Let me start by saying I despise the author for saying that the most important Epic of my culture is "but it's so long, and written in a 'prose-y' way that's kind of impenetrable." Oh, but also she did us the favor to mention that "parts of it are very beautiful". Oh thank you dear, white anglo author, for recognizing some value in that overcomplicated primitive culture of ours!

In Greek school we studied whole poetically translated rhapsodies of the Odyssey in GYMNASIUM, what the hell… And she said she owns "various translations" but I think that's an outright lie because, ma'am, how haven't you read the Odyssey but you own it multiple times??

The writing may be okay-ish, from what I've heard. I put it in the "worst" category because if you like Greek myths in your books, this won't have any Greek myth in it. The author herself ignores the nature of Greek myth, how the themes are woven there, why the characters do what they do, how the gods and humans behave there, and so many other cultural conventions.

If your joy is reading books that fool everyone with how they market themselves as "Greek mythology retellings" just because they have characters with Greek names (and a Hebrew name for a Greek character who isn't Hebrew, because what is basic research? 😂) then, fine, maybe this book is for you. Go, live your girlbossing life, babygirl.

And last (nightmare) but not least: Circe by Madeline Miller

Because you can still fuck up Greek myth despite managing to avoid it the first time. Maybe this case is worse than Lies we sing to the Sea because this author has degrees (not too relevant to Greek antiquity) and can hide behind them when people call her out. And more people are going to believe she knows what she is doing.

I have a #Circe tag for this horrible retelling, about the girlbossification of Circe which ended up disrespecting the myth, the characters - especially Circe - and making a distorted version of how the author thought justice looks like in the context of that myth. Seriously, did Circe HAD to be raped and abused all her life?? She was pretty badass in her own right on the myth. (Westerners don't idolize every evil and violent woman / female creature from the Greek myths challenge).

As I've said before, writers like Miller love forcing violence on foreign eastern women as an escapist fantasy of righteousness.

The book can bore you to death or offer you ample cringe with pieces of dialogue and character behavior that reminded me so much of USian teenagers I wanted to claw my eyes out.

“And how were our father’s (edit: Helios) golden heifers?” “Beautiful.” Perses laughed. “She doesn’t know! Have you ever heard of anyone so stupid?” “Never,” my sister said. I shouldn’t have asked, but I was still drifting in my thoughts, seeing those severed bodies sprawled on marble floors. “What don’t I know?” My sister’s perfect mink face. “That he fucks them, of course. That’s how he makes new ones. He turns into a bull and sires their calves, then cooks the ones that get old. That’s why everyone thinks they are immortal.” “He does not.” They howled, pointing at my reddened cheeks. The sound drew my mother. She loved my siblings’ japes. “We’re telling Circe about the cows,” my brother told her. “She didn’t know.” My mother’s laughter, silver as a fountain down its rocks. “Stupid Circe.”

Ours is the Land of Comedy (derogatory) so we Greeks know one thing or two about embarrassing stuff.

Also Helios didn't fuck his cows. His cattle just didn't die because it was blessed. Correct me if I missed something here but it seems that Circe took a SACRED cattle and shoved zoophilia into the whole situation because "I must show ancient Greek males bad".

Speaking of Greek men... she describes Prometheus like this:

His skin was beautiful, the color of polished walnut. It smelled of green moss drenched with rain.

Yeaaah No... It goes without saying that no Greek, today or in antiquity, describe other Greeks in their circle (or outside, as far as I know) like this. The world you are looking for is μελαχρινός, Miller. You want to write realism, I am giving it to you.

This description is not exactly neither natural or realistic. It looks like exoticization. Tree/dirt/crop colors are not in our language to describe colors in humans unless it's for "ebony" hair, so this description along with the "pressed olives" skin color from TSOA makes me think Miller sees skin tones not pale as hers as something "other". I might be wrong here but it feels... icky. It's like she thought, "let me describe these marvelous otherwordly skin tones of these exotic people in breathtaking prose!" Meanwhile the dude is just a bit tanned, and two tones darker than Miller herself.

Ok, that's it, I can't do this anymore.

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Intro: Favorite Mongolian Authors & more

#slavic roots western mind

I've always had an interest in Mongolia, primarily because there's literally so little international news coverage, at least in my neck of the woods so to speak.

Despite my Mongolian language learning attempts being paused for the time being, I nonetheless continue to fall in love with Mongolian literature with every read, especially with poetry, which is why I've wanted to share my favourite authors.

Here's my quick list of Mongolian authors who's works I've read so far (and a few that are on my to-read radar).

1. Galsan Tschinag

My absolutely favorite poet, born in Mongolia in 1944, famous for his poetry, which interestingly enough was originally written in German, and then translated to English.

His works primarily feature the themes of a nomadic lifestyle, nature, heritage and cultural identity, so if any of these topics interest you, definitely check out his works!

2. Chadraabalyn Lodoidamba

I've only managed to read one of his novels "Тунгалаг тамир" (The Crystal Clear Tamir River), but it's definitely a worthwhile read. Set in the 20th Century, it provides an interesting insight into Mongolian history leading up to the uprising of Mongolia in 1932, with a strong focus on the struggle of the poor against the rich

There's no official English translation (there are German and Russion versions somewhere, but I didn't find them yet), but google translate helped me create a readable version from the original Mongolian.

There's also a movie split into several episodes avaliable on yt but with iffy subtitles, so if you liked the book, you can sort of follow along with the movie.

It's rare for me to hear spoken Mongolian, so watching the movie episodes has been a fascinating experience.

3. Choinom Ryenchi

Once again, I've only read one of this authors works "Buriad", written in 1973 and published in Sümtei Budaryn Chuluu [A Stone from the Steppe with a Monastery] in 1990, but it was enough to interest me.

Buriad refers to an ethnic group in Mongolia, with the poem describing their lifestyle and history. I don't know if what I've read is the entire work, as I found it in a research paper, feauturing said poem with the translation, but it was still quite beautiful.

The style is very lyrical, almost like a song or even a chant at times, and very captivating. A must-read.

4. Mend-Ooyo Gombojav

He has written quite a lot of novels, with many of them luckily translated into English.

His "The Holy One" is a great work of historical fiction, about a 19th century poet and teacher of Buddhism, whose memory and works were later persecuted by the governments fight against intellectuals and free-thinkers, all whilst his works protector attempted to save his works.

Unfortunately I've only read excerpts and bits and pieces, which is pretty frustrating because it seems so good? The style is unusual for me, but it's pretty great either way.

I've read the peom "The Way of the World", which has a rather nostalgic vibe, remembering the past warriors and their heroic deeds but also suggesting that only the stories of their victories will remain. Short but "sweet".

5. Oyungerel Tsedevdamba

I only know her "The Green-eyed Lama", co-written by her and her husband Jeffrey Lester Falt, but the plot description is enough to have me hooked. A love triangle, love and faith amidst war and rebellion... Here's me hoping that it won't be a tear-jerker, because sad endings are not my favorite genre.

Here's a link to a video about Oyungerel's and Jeffrey's writing and research process and how they wrote the novel. It's actually based on a true real-life story, so I guess I'll see how reading this novels turn out. History isn't exactly known for it's happy endings, so we shall see.

6. Combo: Mongolian Short Stories

This one is a compilation of short stories by various Mongolian authors rather than just one author, but it'll have to do because Number 6 exhausts all my knowledge of Mongolian literature.

Edited and compiled by Henry G. Schwarz, each story is about 4-15 pages long with different themes, ranging from daily life in rural Mongolia to critiques of the political situation at the time, the style is a tad over the place, as each author has their own distinct style. Nonetheless, this book gives interesting insights into what life was like in Mongolia at the time, and whether our notions and initial ideas about Mongolia reflect the literary depictions.

Here's my list so far, but chances are I'll update it soon, so watch out for any new updates!

I'll happily share any links and digital copies of these works that I have, just message me please!

[faededaway]

Yandere partner who doesn't activity do anything to isolate you. They know your life and your decisions will eventually make it happen [sfw unless you consider yan themes to be nsfw, mentions of gambling, theft, and isolation]

You're too trusting. You give too much. You ask too few questions.

It starts with your friends. One incident peels apart layers of problems and makes the whole circle fall apart. You had shared your story drafts with some of them. They were your beta readers.

“Its just inspiration! Not your concept. You didn't create this trope did you?”, they had said when you read excerpts of your writing from books published under their names. The ones who disagreed wouldn't agree with you because you weren't important enough. You weren't the glue that held them together. So you lost your long-term friends and felt terrified of making new ones.

Your partner knew this would happen. They knew how little worth you had in that circle. They knew you deserved better. By not saying anything, they were able to bring you closer to them. Every second opinion, every consolation, every joy shared, every tea spilled, was done with them. They were your new friend. Your only friend.

Then came your family. They won't lie and say they didn't do anything to instigate it. They weren't sure how effective it would've been. But luck was on their side.

Your sibling was in a tough spot. Life had been hard on them and they had been unable to pick themselves up. So your generous partner offered to help your sibling get back on their feet by lending them money.

Your love for them had grown deeper at that gesture. Even you family had offered them a seat at the family dining table.

Unbeknownst to you and your family, the only reason they did such a generous thing was because they knew it wouldn't help.

Your partner was the only one who knew of your sibling's affair with the wrong crowd. Luck had been on their side when they overheard your sibling asking someone for more time to pay back their loan as, “the race was rigged this time! It's not my fault I lost the money!”

So when your sibling's debt collectors came home to collect their interest, your sibling's life was shown to have become worse.

“I broke my fifteen year old savings account just to get them back on their feet. I-, I, no. No, it is okay. They're family. Family comes first.”

The crack in their voice broke you. You had run to your parents and demanded they help get the money back. Your parents tried to reason with you. They tried to tell you how your sibling's life was a more pressing issue. But you could only hear the crack in your partner's voice. This level of disrespect made you cut contact with your selfish family.

It was fine. You had family. Your partner was your family. One who went though hell for you. One who broke their back for you. One who never betrayed you, left you, or forgot you. They cared so much for you. They love you more than anyone else in your life. So why would you need anybody else?