#expecting gratitude for neglect

[furiousgoldfish]

abusive parent: what do you mean you're not going to do as I say? I didn't ask ANYTHING out of you for the WHOLE DAY!

me, inside my head years later: you neglected me all day and free labour is the prize you feel entitled to?

[wetheurban]

2024 GUIDELINES.

No beating yourself up over the past.

Nourish your body with healthy choices.

Protect your joy at all costs.

Feed your focus, starve your distractions.

Pour your soul into every endeavor.

Value and protect your time.

No settling for less than you deserve.

Don’t just think, act.

Forgive yourself daily.

No neglecting self-care.

Let go as a form of empowerment.

Less expecting, more accepting. 

Practice gratitude daily.

No accepting less than you deserve.

Give back to your community.

Invest in relationships that uplift you.

Ask for help when needed.

Enjoy the ebbs and flows of the human experience.

[aeth-supremacy]

König - Projekt Amor

Word count: 4.6k

Pairing: König x Reader

Summary: When the lab you're clearing with König has a hormonal weapon you didn't expect, you try your hardest to control yourself from him, but you can tell he's wanted this for a while.

Warnings: Smut, poorly translated German, some canon typical violence, and drug-induced sex.

Notes: I know many of you follow me for Ghost Band stuff, which I will continue to write!! I’m just gonna leave this here for my CoD enjoyers too <3

“Hello, König!” You smiled, taking a seat across from him on the plane. You looked around for a moment, expecting to see more of the team. Surprisingly, it was just the two of you, plus a pilot. König wore what he always did, and you adorned your gear for more hands-on missions, as you normally opted to stay back and operate some of the computers back at base. Behind you, the door sealed and your pilot began procedures for liftoff.

“Hallo, süßes mädchen.” König said simply. You could tell his eyes creased slightly behind his hood. A small gesture that he was happy to see you. He fidgeted lightly with a sheathed knife, his leg bouncing as he thought. Despite not being able to see his face, he looked handsome. Maybe it was something in his eyes, or the way his shoulders rested on the seats of the small plane. You wouldn’t dare tell him, but you thought he looked gorgeous. As you were about to pipe up and talk to him, a voice rang in through your headpiece.

“Listen up, kids. We got something simple for you today, and I know it’s just the two of you. We’re dropping you by a small building near a forested area, it’s said to contain some bioweapons in a basement lab that we gotta take possession of. Do not split up at any time. Do you copy?”

“Copy, Captain.” You chimed.

“Copy.” König added.

“Alright. Trust each other, come back in one piece. I’ll have some folk in touch if you run into trouble. Out.” The radio buzzed out. You looked back to König again, his leg bouncing faster and his gloved fingers playing with the hem of his hood.

“Are you nervous, König?” You asked sweetly. You didn’t want to make fun of him, you never did. But you could see the fear in his eyes from what people had said before, his eyebrows shifting defensively before he remembered who he was talking to. You and König don’t go way far back, but you had known him for a few months and you had been nothing but kind. You’ve talked to him without minding his pauses to think, you’ve stayed up late to help him with paperwork or talk through his feelings, you’ve gone to lunch with him so he wouldn’t feel so lonely, in all honesty… you’ve done a lot for him. He had a deep appreciation for you that he never spoke about, but he knew it was there, and that it was possibly even something more than platonic gratitude.

“Hmm… not really.” He paused for a moment. “I have faith in our little team, very much so! I’d just hate for you to get hurt when only I can help you, kleine maus. I’m not very good at playing the medic.” He laughed nervously.

“I won’t get hurt, I promise.” Your eyes met König’s as you spoke, his gaze softening at your promise. You don’t have a clue, but he would do anything to protect you. “How far out?” You called to your pilot.

“Bout’ 25 minutes, ma’am!” He called back. You thanked him as you stood up, walking across the small gap to sit beside your teammate. He turned his head towards you, his hands dropping to his thighs and his leg calming. You made pleasant small conversation for the rest of the ride, both simply enjoying the presence of the other.

————

When you arrived at the site, you never would've expected it to be a place with biological weapons. In fact, you even wondered if you were dropped at the right location. From what you could see, the site was just a humble wooden house in the forest, almost like a cabin. Its yard and landscaping were neglected, the paths to the door becoming overgrown and the wildflowers taking over the areas beside the porch. König took the path in front of you, his rifle at his side and his large body pushing up to the door and opening it by force. The pilot and his plane took off behind you, leaving you and König to clear the building and search for information for a good while before he would return.

You marveled at the way that you and König could work together. König was a trailblazer, a spearhead. He pushed from room to room, opening doors by force and shooting first. He dropped bodies everywhere he walked, and it amazed you that the soft spoken, shy boy you knew from the plane was put on hold. It was his job, after all. König was working. You two pointed in different directions, backs nearly pressed together, becoming a beautiful dance of bullets and coming out practically unscathed.

With his knife in one hand and a heartbeat monitor in his other, König announced. “Clear!” A body dropping to the ground beside him as his knife returned to its sheath. You followed quickly behind him, holstering your pistol as you walked.

“The basement.” You reminded. “Where is it? Did you find the door?”

“Mmhmm.” He hummed. “Over here, liebling.” He nodded his head to his left. The lighting that emitted from under the door was different from the warm white of the house, almost a cool blue, like aggressive fluorescent lights. He hesitantly walked over to it, slowly turning the handle as you both got your guns out once more. The door creaked open eerily, “Me first.” König stated.

He ducked to get into the stairway, you following only steps behind him. He rounded the corner sharply, pointing his gun in the direction of any possible movement. There were only two people there, a woman and a white coat with her hands up in the air, and a man in all black gear with a gun pointed right at you. König didn’t think twice as he shot the man, his heavy body dropping to the floor with a thud. You and König moved forward to the woman.

“On the ground.” You prompted. She obeyed, getting on her knees with a wince and leaving her hands where they could be seen. König walked a few feet away to take a glance at one of the many computers set up in the room. He leaned down slightly, silently observing a laptop with a blue and white screen. Files illuminated its display, and König only grazed his eyes over them in curiosity. The computer work was your job, after all. You kept your gun pointed at the woman, only looking over at your partner for a few seconds to see what he was doing.

The woman saw her opportunity. She picked up an unmarked grenade off of the ground near her, pulled its pin and threw it at König as fast as possible. A guttural scream left your throat, a bullet instinctively blowing into her brain as you panicked with the most terrifying thoughts. König’s eyes widened as the grenade dropped to his feet. Rather than an explosion, the grenade simply leaked a pinkish substance from a few holes in its base, almost gas-like. As soon as he noticed it wasn’t going to explode, König picked it up and threw it up the stairs. The pink haze remained around him, his chest heaving as he attempted to calm himself down from his panicked thoughts of mortality.

“König, König!” You rushed over to him, a hand placing onto his chest as you pushed him into another room within the basement. He stumbled backward slightly, catching himself on a door frame as you backed him into the room and opened the door for him. It had no people, no gasses, it was just a simple single office. The lights were back to being a warm beige color. It had a few computers on one desk together, filing cabinets, a few desk chairs, a small fan in the corner, and a few little areas with bookshelves or plants. “It’s okay! I’m right here, you’re okay. I promise.” You assured König as you walked with him. You shut and locked the door behind you, placing your partner slowly down onto a plush desk chair across from the main desk. His wide eyes looked up at you, petrified.

“Oh Scheiße, was ist das? Was passiert mit mir Liebling?” He spoke quickly in his native tongue. You felt so horrible, letting something like that happen to him. You could tell how much his anxiety was beginning to affect him, his ability to speak English practically fleeting, and his words beginning to slur together ever so slightly. You attempted to give him space, but his hands flew to your waist as he panicked. “No! Don’t go-” The look in his eyes tugged at something in your heart. He looked miserable, like he was so helpless he could almost cry.

That’s when you knew something was very wrong, König was far from helpless. You’d seen him destroy foes moments ago and how his eyes were pooling at the sight of you.

“I’m not going anywhere, König. I just need to take a look at their files, okay? I need to figure out what they threw at you. I’ll be right here. I’ll never leave you.” You assure. He nodded, his breaths calming as he let go of you slowly. The lack of your body made him antsy, the feeling of your body heat in his hands mysteriously making his ache from the gas relieve. He shut his eyes and let his head drop, heavy breaths leaving his covered lips.

You moved to the other side of the desk, punching in an access code to their computers as you desperately searched their files. The screen illuminated with documents, hundreds of reports and tests written out in front of you. You scrolled past what your captain wanted you to find, your mind only being set on König. You needed to help him. He is what you cared about, fuck the mission.

“Will I die?” König muttered while staring down into his lap, almost too quiet for you to hear. Almost like he was asking himself.

“No! No, I will NOT let you die.” You typed furiously as you sifted through the files on all the lab's projects, past and future. Until you landed on one… Project Cupid. The title page included a blueprint and prototype of the exact grenade thrown at König. Your eyes sifted over the lab report, hoping for an idea of what he was going through.

“Es ist so heiß hier drin… it’s so hot-” He whined. He threw off his vest, rolled up his sleeves, and took off his helmet and gloves. His hands shook as he attempted to relieve himself of his discomfort, his sorry attempts proving useless to the crawling in his skin. “I can’t take it, maus… lass mich dich noch einmal berühren…” He begged from behind his hood, his hips shifting in the seat you had placed him in. His native tongue caused his voice to rasp, he was almost growling as he spoke. He threw his head back, his eyes tracing the lines of the ceiling.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m trying.” You urged. You read the symptoms, the outcomes, just anything that it could do to him. It was a sex bomb. A pheromonal gas. König was squirming and sweating out of his mind. Being this way wouldn’t kill him, but you could tell he was uncomfortable. His chest was heaving, his forearms were sticking to the chair, and as you suspected, a painfully prominent tent was in his pants. “Holy shit…” You whispered.

“What? What?” He asked as his view shot back to you. “What is it?” He looked at you with desperation, his eyes begging behind his hood.

“You… you won’t die, König. You’re being affected by a pheromonal gas. It’s gonna feel really hot, you’re gonna be pretty uncomfortable, and you’re probably pretty… aroused?” You attempted to explain. König groaned.

“Oh fuck-” He began. “I’m so sorry, maus. Fuck- I never should’ve let this happen. I’m so- ahhh- Es tut mir leid. I should've been more careful…” He moved his hips lazily as he spoke, the friction from his pants alone almost causing him to moan. You looked at him from across the desk, his eyes squeezing shut with every movement and his hands going white-knuckled on the arms of the chair. The reports told you exactly what you needed to know. You knew he was gonna be like this for a while, especially if you don't help him.

But you couldn't. Not when the reports explicitly told you he wouldn't be thinking straight soon.

“Everything is okay! We’ll get you through this, König. How about you lay down on the ground for a second? It’ll be colder down there.” You moved from your spot at the desk and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He tensed at the touch, his teeth clenching as he tried not to make a sound. Even a touch as small as that, a simple graze to his clothed shoulder, he wanted to tear your clothes off and fuck your brains out.

“O- of course. Yes… I’ll do that.” He got up slowly, his legs weakly carrying him as he made his way to lay in the middle of the room, his large body relaxing against the cool concrete floor. He was still breathing heavily, and you could still see that sweat was trailing down his forearms. His back relaxed against the floor, his face looking upwards at the ceiling. The lights danced in his vision, his mind hazed with lust.

You felt bad, so bad. But there wasn’t entirely anything you could do, you knew his headspace wasn’t entirely clear and he didn’t want to do anything that either of you would regret. “Is that better?” You asked. You stood a few feet away from him, looking down on him.

He trailed his big hands along the black athletic pullover that he always wore under his gear, quickly undoing the zipper and pulling it over his head. It took a bit of his hood with it, revealing his open mouth and a part of his nose. What you could see was stunning. Scattered stubble, soft lips, faded scars. Shockingly, König didn’t care that part of his face was showing, or maybe he didn’t even notice. His chest was bare and toned, the sweat and scars together making a gorgeous view. His stomach didn't present as all abs, he still cutely supported a soft belly. “So heiß…” He simply responded.

“What was that?” You asked.

“It’s so… fucking… hot.” He panted. You nodded, briskly walking over to the fan in the corner of the room and turning it onto high as a last resort. You looked around, looking for anything else that could help him. “Please… please help me, schöne taube. Let me touch you again.” He sat up from his position, his hood falling back down. He backed himself into a wall, the cool paint pressing onto his back and forcing a moan from his lips. You walked over to him, not quite understanding what he meant.

“Does that help you, König? Do you feel better when you hold me?” You hadn't read that this would help him in the reports, but you really did desperately want to help him. You hated seeing him like this, this distressed and distraught state. You held out your hand to him. He grabbed your it with greed, pulling you down onto your knees to be with him on the floor. His mind was moving faster than his mouth, his lips babbling on as he pulled you into him. You rested next to him, your thigh touching his. He placed his hands along your arm, holding it gently and placing your hand on his clothed cheek, beginning to run it down his chest.

“So much better… so sehr… please, please- I need to touch you more. Please. I need to feel your skin against mine, schöne. Fuckkk- I need you!” König babbled. You could see his hips moving, his cock aching within his pants. He attempted to drag your hand down to the tent, but you sharply pulled away.

“König, I can’t. I can't touch you… like that, I’m sorry. I know you’re not thinking clearly… I can’t do that to you when you may not really want it.” You spoke, bringing your hand back up to hold his cheek. He whined at the touch, his own hand dipping between his legs to press down on where they met. He looked into your eyes, sweetly, and let out the most beautiful moan you had ever heard.

“Scheiße, bitte, ich meine es ernst! I’ve wanted you since I met you, mein schatz. Please, pleaseee. Fuck, fuck- just fuck me, I beg of you! I ache, I need you. I promise I really want you. I want you so bad!” König continued his begging as he clawed at his belt, his ungloved hands easily undoing it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I can't take it-” König quietly realized that he might've sounded ridiculous.

You looked down at his tented pants, and back up to his eyes. You nodded at him. He was serious, something about his eyes told you so. It was all coming back to you now. The way he would relax into you when you sat next to him, when he would laugh with you at lunch, when he would ask you out for drinks between just the two of you, even when he would reach the top shelves for you. He liked you. Damnit, he might just love you. “Just promise me you won’t regret this later.” You pleaded.

König lifted his hood and threw it off of his head. His eyes met yours as he sighed with the relief of showing you his whole face. His eyebrows were knit together, his eyes showing a needy side of him you never thought you’d see. “I could never regret anything with you, kleine maus.” He grabbed you by the waist once more, bringing you onto his lap. One of his hands flew up to the back of your head, making a fistful of hair and pulling you into a messy kiss. You gave in instantly, your whine being muffled by his own.

The way he handled you… you could feel a wave of lust take over your body. His hands ran down your body, his fingertips trailing and tracing every part of you that he could as he muttered his gratitude to you. He tugged at your shirt, undoing the tuck you had done so perfectly in the morning. His hands ran into the bare skin of your stomach, a happy groan coming from his throat. “Oh god… thank you so much, maus. Your skin- mein gott. It’s like heaven.” Your hands shot to the side of his face, your kiss deepening as you pressed your chests together. König’s hands pulled your shirt upwards, your arms lifting to allow him to fling it somewhere in the room.

His hips still needily rutted against yours, your mind slipping from sane thoughts every time you felt his hard cock brush up and down against you. With every kiss, you felt like you were about to break, and he did too. He felt horrible, he knew he wasn't properly preparing you. Normally, he would have laid you out and stretched you with his fingers and wetted you with his tongue… but this was no normal occasion.

You moved your hands away from his face to tug at your belt, removing it and tossing it behind you. König noticed, his hands falling from your stomach to the hem of your pants. He nudged at the button, undoing it and sliding your pants off of you while you helped him. Except for your underwear and boots, you were bare for him. You had never been this exposed to him before, and the look on his face told you he couldn't be more excited.

Gently, König slipped a set of two fingers down past the lip of your panties. His half-lidded eyes met yours, praise seeping from his lips as he grazed your soaking pussy and pressed his fingers lightly onto your clit. “Oh je, du hübsches Mädchen! Do you want me this bad? This is for me? Danke~ you're so good for me.” He practically growled into your ear. You nodded at him in response, your head resting on his shoulder as he sank his fingers in. “Perfect, my love.” He groaned. “Mmm, I’m gonna fuck you so good. Would you like that, sweetheart?”

Fuck, you didn't know he would be so vocal like this. Maybe it was the added hormones talking, but you loved it either way. As you desperately reached down to König’s pants, he drug his fingers out of you and placed them into his mouth. He hummed against the taste, his eyes admiring you pulling down his pants like you'd die without feeling him. He watched your eyes widen as you met with his hard cock, and he knew this would happen. He wasn't just impressive in the field or in the height department. “K- König I-” You began.

“Shhhh, kleine maus. I know, I know you can take me. C'mere, let me help you, please.” König’s hands traveled along your hips, bringing them to hover over his cock. Even under the influence of a hormonal drug, he cared. He looked up at you, a softness in his eyes as he used one hand to line himself up with your cunt. “Deep breath, love.” He instructed, his thick tip poking at your entrance before it slipped into place within you. You let out a strangled moan as you felt the burning stretch of his cock. Konig stopped begging as much now, he knew he had you. You were whining desperately as he spread you apart.

“Holy shit, König! Oh fuck- God, you're so big-” You whined, König’s arms continuing to push you down onto him. The feeling gave a subtle burn, your muscles tensing and trying to relax. He gave you a soft smile, wrapping his arms around you and hugging your waist as your hips pressed back into his, closing the distance and pressing him deep inside. You hugged him back, your arms resting on the top of his broad shoulders. His hips desperately shifted upwards, begging to fuck into you.

After a few moments of deep sighs and adjustment, you told him you were ready and his hands returned to your waist. He lifted you with ease, his strong arms guiding you to bounce up and down and coat this thick cock with your juices. “Heilige scheiße! You’re so good- you… you feel so good!” He pleaded. “Danke, mein leibling!”

He looked at you in amazement, his hands traveling up to take off your bra as you rode him at a slow pace. He flung it somewhere in the room, his hands on your tits and his fingertips digging into them with need. He looked hypnotized, watching your pussy engulf his huge cock in a way he thought no one could. You cured his ache so well, he just wanted to destroy you. He wanted to fuck you so hard you couldn't think. He wanted to claim you from the inside and ruin you for any other man. You're his. His dick still ached inside of you, his sensitive head hitting the most perfect spots inside you as he craved more.

“Please, can I please take control of you? I need it, baby. I need to fuck you my way. I need to ruin you, schöne taube.” König’s grip back on your waist tightened as he waited for your answer. You felt his sweaty chest against yours, your bodies sticking together. It made you whine, your nesitive nipples grazing against the rough of his chest.

“Please…” You begged. “I need you, König. I need you so deep and strong and-” Before you could even finish, König had flipped the two of you, Your back pressed against the chilled floor, your thighs folded into your stomach as König placed your legs on his shoulders. His hands pressed on the back of your thighs, shoving and manipulating them into the position he wanted to ruin you in. You moaned loudly as he slammed deep into you, a penetrating force so strong you could almost cry. “König! Fuck, you're so good!” You yelped.

König was deep in his drunken haze, his hands pushing your squishy thighs back so he could fuck you deeper. He fucked you with a much faster pace now, the sound of your skin meeting echoing as you whined helplessly beneath him. He traced his hand down to your clit, his thumb tracing lightly along your nerves. “Oh, ja, scheiße! Take me, sweetheart. Take me, take me, take me!”

He leaned down, a soft kiss being placed on your lips to contrast the rough fuck he was giving you. Your eyes rolled back in your head as you tightened down on him, his big hips continuing to fuck through the tightness. His aching flared again, his cock twitching as he fucked you. God, he needed to cum so badly. He needed to cum so badly this whole time. Ever since he took a breath of that drug, he laid his eyes on you and imagined fucking you into oblivion. Hell, he imagined it long before that. He imagined it alone in his room after long nights drinking with you, or even on days when you only said a single word to him.

You brought your hands up to his face, holding his soft cheeks and looking into his eyes as you spoke. “Do you wanna cum for me, König? You're doing so good for me.” You smiled at your subtle tease, his eyes melting as you spoke. It was like you had just read his mind. You went on a limb that he would like what you said, but he confirmed that by fucking into you faster. He let out growls and grunts with every thrust, throwing away the idea of embarrassment and anxiety and embracing the hormonal drug running through him. His thrusts began slipping, your walls tightening down harder on him as you chased release too.

“Mmm…schatz, I’m going to cum! Can I cum for you?” He groaned, his sloppy thrusts becoming unpredictable. Your cunt spazzed around him, your juices coating him further as your back arched in unimaginable pleasure. You felt the coil in your stomach snap, a scream of König’s name leaving your lips as he drug his cock out of you. As you laid out on the floor, spent and breathless, König sat on his knees above you and wrapped his hand around his cock. He stroked himself with urgency, his head flying back as he groaned your name. “Oh hübsches Mädchen, du fickst mich so gut!” Your wetness coated his cock and his hand, cum quickly shooting from the tip of his dick and landing beautifully on your stomach.

König slumped back against the wall, his hand returning to his side and his chest rising and falling with his heavy breaths. He looked around for his shirt, leaning over to get it and making it into a ball, whispering to you as he made his attempt to clean you up. “Danke… you were so good to me. I’ve wanted you like that for so long.” He mumbled. “What would I do without you?” He asked. You giggled, your hand reaching to hold König’s. He smiled at you. You both took a moment to breathe, collecting your clothes, putting the back on, and gathering the data you had been sent for.

You leaned over the lab computers, plugging in a flash drive as König called in and requested evac. As you typed, König walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. His masked cheek pressed against your back. “Can we please cuddle when we get back to base, maus?” He mumbled, squeezing you gently.

“Absolutely, König.”

[utterlyazriel]

whom the shadows sing for —(and the thief's echoing hymn)

a/n: chapter twoooo i hope you guys enjoy!! and i take this as pure reason to knuckle down and finish chapter three tehe <3 let me know what u think!! a million mwahs to @strangerstilinski for being my beta too, even tho i yelled at u sorry :/

word count: 3.5k

synopsis: Azriel trains you and is particularly unforgivable about it. Together, you tackle tonics. Azriel ponders the unmistakable pull he feels and you try your best to keep your secret under wraps. fem!reader, mulan-esque au

— CHAPTER TWO :: ALLIES

The storm had calmed come morning. The Mother's Kiss slowed, quietened to only a whisper between the trees.

With it, the ache in your forearm too. The torn skin knitted up in the night, the heat from the fire like a balm on the wound.

But right now, the ache was threatening to make a reappearance.

You glare across the clearing at Azriel from your place in the mud, where he's just knocked you down. Your lungs burn. Your chest heaves as you try to catch you breath. The last hour has been spent on the same infuriating exercise.

The sludgy dirt, still sloppy from the melted snow of last night, drips off your arms as you scramble to get to your feet. Your wings shudder, flicking off the cold dirt with a shake.

"Try again." Azriel says, his voice calm.

He has no weapons on him today with the exception of one knife, strapped high on his thigh. Its obsidian hilt glimmers under the winter sun, rays catching the decorative jewel on the end. The rest of his weapons won't be far you're willing to bet. No Illyrian warrior lets themself be so unprepared.

Or perhaps he truly only needs one blade to hold his own in a fight.

A flicker of envy. You suppose you should feel little more gratuitous of his offer to train, especially considering he's such a mighty warrior.

But between the built-in wariness that comes with having a secret such as yours and the way he keeps throwing you in the mud... it's hard to dredge up some gratitude. You must have been at this for hours now.

Besides, a little part of you can't help but be skeptical of his offer. What exactly did he stand to gain from helping you?

"Why are you helping me again?"

You're panting lightly, bent over with your hands on your knees. Your bound chest twinges in pain. You weren't out of shape by any means — you were an Illyrian warrior after all. But getting knocked down endlessly was beginning to wear you down.

"And," You huff, waving a hand behind at the mud pile he keeps dumping you in. "How does this help?"

Azriel crosses his arms across his broad chest. In the daylight, his shadows shimmer and wisp about. You had been unsurprised to find he's even more devastatingly handsome in the light of daytime.

After his final words the evening before, Azriel had disappeared out into the storm without further explanation, his shadows swirling around him like falling snow.

Come morning, you rose before the sun and stepped outside, prepared to head to training—and there he was. Posed up against a tree, the obsidian-hilt blade his hands, sharpening it in long, precise strokes.

"Lord Mylind has been spoken to regarding your training." Azriel had said, in place of a greeting. "He knows of your expected absence whilst you train under me."

You hadn't said anything; half convinced there had been something coated on Brudam's knife that made you hallucinate the whole thing.

"Though," The male before you continued, finally sheathing his dagger away into the holster on his thigh with casual precision. "He tells me that your absences during training have come to be somewhat expected."

He raises his eyebrows slightly.

"Why do you think they hate me so much?" You asked, a bitter edge to your voice. It's a non-answer.

"Because you neglect your duties as a warrior?"

"Ha. Did Lord Mylind use that word?"

"It's true, one is not considered a warrior until one passes The Blood Rite." Azriel commented, his head tilting to the side just an inch. "You're a warrior-in-training. Provided you go to training, that is."

The combined mention of The Blood Rite and your missing time during training had you tensing up. Azriel had noticed, his eyes shifting to your stiff posture. He hadn’t commented — just stalked off into the snow, wings held high and proud, not checking to see if you bothered to follow.

Now, muscles aching and skin coated in mud-slick, you briefly wonder if you were regretting following him.

"You're smaller than usual Illyrians.” Azriel says. “They rely on brute strength but someone your size is better to rely on your agility— a skill they've been neglecting. No doubt to try to discourage you."

A flush of nervousness rushes through your system at his comment on your size. There's a good reason you don't size up against Illyrian males—being that you aren't one at all.

For good measure, you wipe your face haphazardly with a muddy hand. Any pesky scents that might give you away get smothered beneath it.

"And I believe in what you're doing," Azriel continues, his hazel eyes watching you closely. "It's honourable, no matter what Brudam and his brood say."

Something akin to pride blooms deep in your chest at his approval, at his belief in your mission. Having fought on your own for so many years had taken its toll— one you weren't aware of until it eased. Just a touch.

"Could've sworn you just enjoyed knocking me on my ass."

That glimmer of amusement is back in his hazel eyes. You swear his lips twitch as if holding back a smile.

"Try again." He says, in lieu of an answer. Not a denial.

He gestures to his neck again. Tan skin that hides beneath dark, scaly armor. This has been your task for the last hour — get your hand on his throat, through hand-to-hand combat.

Considering how you'd managed to stick him with a fork just yesterday, you had assumed it was easy territory.

You had been sorely, sorely wrong.

Straightening yourself up properly, you roll your shoulders back and flare your wings out a bit. Your boots sink into the mud an inch. You assess the distance between you and Azriel, eyes narrowed, and try to put together each piece of advice he's given you in the last hours.

Plant your feet when you're striking.

Stay on your toes if you're advancing.

Use your environment to your advantage.

Punch through, not just at.

Your height is as much an advantage as it is a disadvantage.

Some of it was nothing more than a reiteration of your training in camp. And yet, when delivered from Azriel, under his focused gaze, it seems easier to absorb. It holds a different meaning.

This time as you survey your approach a thousand other details whisper in your ear.

The rustle of the trees, the whirl of the wind, the stance he sinks into like second nature.

If you can't overpower him, how can you get a hand on his neck?

Your boots sink deeper into the mud and you tense, your wings held taut and high behind you as you ready yourself to pounce.

The wind picks up, a whistle in the air, and you can see, even from afar, how the swirling of his shadows perk up — as if listening for any whispers in it.

Time to strike.

You burst forward and stay low this time, letting your knees take the brunt of your weight. Instead of trying to get past him, you need to bring his neck down to your level. A half-baked plan scrambles together.

Feigning moves against a proficient warrior like him is nearly laughable and his thick forearm moves to parry your punch as quickly as you form it. Good. It's what you're relying on.

You pivot your energy and focus it on kicking out his bent knee— and you catch him enough by surprise that he stumbles back a step. He doesn’t fall though.

You grit your teeth and know you have about half a second before he’s going to have you dodging punches and landing back in the mud. You keep pressing forward.

Skin meets leather as you land a sharp snap against his shoulder, your knuckles stinging deliciously but he deftly blocks your next blow. And the next, and the next.

Then you’re hitting more of his hands than you are anywhere else.

Frustrated, you snarl, increasing your speed and letting him focus on your incoming punches so he doesn’t see it when you send a kick into his groin.

His defense drops razor fast— both his scarred hands wrapping around your calf and capturing it between his legs, stopping it 2 inches from making contact.

Your eyes dart up to his face, nearly grinning at the incredulous look he gives you.

It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for — and something gleeful in you sings when you shoot your hand up faster than both his can move. The palm of your hand connects with the skin of his neck.

“Aha!” You shout, unable to help yourself.

You’re panting, out of breath from the fast combat and yet, still savouring the victory. A foreign glimmer of admiration and approval flashes deep in your chest. It's gone as quick as it appears.

Azriel doesn’t waste a second to sweep your feet out from beneath you.

Unprepared, you crumple and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. A groan rumbles in your chest. Mud squishes up against your cheek, sullying it.

For a moment, you just lay there and groan in pain.

You're pretty sure every single muscle in your body aches as you gather your strength and push yourself up from the mud, elbows quivering. If you thought regular training was rigorous, this has been brutal.

True, there's less hitting you while you're down which you were more than accustomed to — only once have you thought Azriel might give you a kick while you were defenseless and too tired to cover your face.

But instead, he had surprised you and offered a hand. You had hesitated before taking it.

And as you're finding out, when you're spending less time worrying about Illyrians unfairly targeting you due to your size, you're a hell of a lot better fighter.

With a much better opponent though.

You win some, you lose some.

"Anyone ever call you a prick before?" You seethe quietly; because you had done the task he wanted you to do and he'd still sent you back on your ass. You spit into the mud and wipe your mouth.

"Definitely." Azriel answers. Again, there's that hint of amusement in his voice.

You huff and push up to rest back on your heels, planting your hands on your knees and glaring up at him. The muck on your wings makes you shiver, sludgy trails of mud sliding off them unpleasantly. You're well used to the cold.

"Good." You huff. "Prick."

Azriel smiles at that, not bothering to hide it. You find yourself smiling back at him, an out-of-breath laugh making your shoulders shake and your head bow. The muscles in your stomach hurt as they move.

When you look back up at him, he's offering his hand again.

You take it, this time without hesitation.

—

The day is for training. Azriel, the mentor. You, the student.

The night is for learning. You're both students here.

The second part of his offer that you clearly hadn't expected, given your wide-eyed look when he turned up at your door on that first evening, bringing all manners of plants needed to make healing tonics. Things you hadn't been able to find or afford on your own.

It had been then, he thinks, that you realised how serious he was about helping you. That his offer extended beyond training you physically.

"Is there really a difference between cutting and slicing?" Azriel asks as he peers down at the table beneath him.

In his marred hands is a root vegetable, something that flowered prettily— nice purple skin with a golden centre. He frowns down at it, his gaze shifting slowly from the vegetable to the knife in his hand.

It’s strange, he thinks. Strange to hold a knife and have it not be for violence.

"There is a difference," Your reply floats across from the other side of the room.

Nearly a week he's been here. Azriel had been pushing you more each day he was here, brutal one-on-one training to hone your skills.

It’s working; already he can see the certainty of your stance, your increased agility, the hunter's glint in your eyes. The clumsiness of the first day of training has already been worn away. Beneath it, the Illyrian warrior emerges.

He's exhausting you, he knows. Working you twice as hard to try to fill every gap in your training that seems to be missed. Finding every weak point left by the Lords of this camp, to disadvantage you no doubt, and training it up.

But if you’re tired from it, you don’t complain.

Azriel lifts his head to look at you properly, his eyes watching your hands as you strip leaves off one of the plants he had brought with him today.

Hands, weathered and much smaller than most males, that work diligently at your task. Your focus remains strong, even as you talk over your shoulder.

"Well, slicing is cutting but a more precise form." You shift your wing back, tucking it in, as you finally turn your head back to look at him.

You're a very peculiar male.

Azriel can't say he's ever met a warrior, or even an Illyrian, like yourself before. You're small. It's the first thing he had noticed when he had slipped into your tiny home those nights ago, a sturdy shelter against the harsh wind of the mountains.

You're small but your wings are still large and beautiful, tucked up neatly behind your back. Most warriors in camp must have at least a head of height on you.

The armor you wear looks old. It's been worn down, softened against your body but even still, it sits a little too low on your hips. The shoulders hang out an extra inch.

You're small and you're hardened at every edge.

It's the way anyone who grows up here has to be. And for you to have made the cut to become a warrior, even with the impairment of your height... Azriel knows you're made of tougher stuff than most.

Within that, he finds himself inexplicably drawn to you.

Azriel hates the Illyrian mountains. Loathes the culture he comes from that festers here, their swift brutality and preferred cruelty against even their own. Invisible standards that made one Fae better than another.

The lives they taught him to take so easily.

So the last thing he had expected to find coming back here, to a place haunted with wretched memories, was... an ally.

But staring across the space to you, he can't think of any other word to describe the stirring in his chest. The drag on his heart, as if it's lurching forward.

"Look, let me show you."

You drop what's in your hands and take a couple steps to cross the space. The shelter is like you, small, just shy of cramped. The ceiling could stand to gain a few inches and the inside is as bare as Azriel would expect of a home in a war-camp.

One rickety table. A bed tucked into a corner. A fireplace with slanted, mismatched soot-covered bricks. There's the general rustle about the place that indicates someone sleeps here. Things hang off nails, bedded into the wall.

Hovering beside the table, you gesture for the knife in Azriel's hand. There's tenseness in your shoulders. You're still wary of him— or perhaps so used to your own company. He wonders which it is as he hands over the knife wordlessly.

"You just gotta—" The vegetable gets re-positioned on the board and when you bring down the knife, it's with an elegance that Azriel had been severely lacking.

You slice a long strip off, lengths-wise, and then pause, looking up at him to make sure he understands. "Slice?"

Azriel smiles despite himself.

That's the other thing.

You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful Fae he's ever seen in his life— not to mention, by far the most beautiful male he’s ever laid his eyes on.

It had taken him by surprise initially, even his shadows rearing back in shock when you had turned and sprung at him, cutlery in hand. Azriel had fumbled one of his blocks and it led to you sinking the fork into his shoulder— all because his mind had been whispering beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

It's the reason you had managed to land a hit at all— or Azriel tells himself that. Because otherwise, he had a serious reason to brush up on his own training.

He also tells himself it had nothing to do with his offer.

It hadn't swayed his reasoning in the slightest; not the way he can't take his eyes off you for some peculiar, unbidden reason. Training you and learning how to make tonics alongside you was entirely due to his belief in your mission.

Liar, one of his shadows seems to whisper in response.

Azriel was over five hundred years old — tangling with a male was not entirely foreign to him. And yet, Azriel had found it was not as to his taste as females were.

Another glance at you has him, once again, second-guessing that.

As quickly as it enters his mind, he snuffs it, his wings giving a minuscule twitch, right as you offer him back the knife.

He opts for a question instead. "How did you come to live here?"

It's one of the other unusual parts of your intriguing survival out here. Not only did you make the cut to train to become a warrior against the odds, but you also live alone. Azriel lets himself survey the shelter once more.

It's far better than some of the conditions he's been subjected to before and yet... it's not quite homey. As though you've never relaxed here, even when it's just you.

"I built it."

Azriel blinks. Then he turns his head down to look at you, perplexed.

"You...?"

You've walked back to the plant you were handling, starting to strip off the leaves again. You hum in response to his words, sparing a glance up at the ceiling.

That certainly explained why it was on the smaller side, made to your stature. Azriel can't fathom how you managed it in the blizzardly conditions of the mountains, entirely on your own.

"As I'm sure you're familiar, bastards don't get anything in these camps."

Your voice tightens with the pain of an unhealed wound.

Azriel doesn't say anything, just presses his lips together thinly. He nods.

"It was already a ruin, the fireplace and floorboards were about the only thing left." This time as you tug the leaves off the plant in your hand, it's a little meaner. "It took me years to properly finish it because the males in camp kept coming by to see if they could knock it back down."

Something roars in Azriel's ears, a familiar icy fury at the injustice that roamed so freely in these mountains. A plague amongst these people. So many Fae, so eager to kick those who are already down.

Looking up from your hands, your motions slow, and a distant look dawns on your face as though you've been whisked away into an old memory. A cold smile graces your mouth.

"So eventually when one of them came around, I showed them why they shouldn't fuck with my stuff. Or with me."

How you gained your solitary fortress out here.

It had piqued his interest on the very first evening, the sole shelter out from the cluster of cabins in the camp. That even though the drunken warriors were first to point it out when Azriel came asking who was causing trouble, none of them would go near it.

He can guess a multitude of things you did to protect it and yourself. Something akin to admiration blooms in his chest. Something heavier, deeper, lurks beneath it.

As your hands go back to work, Azriel can't help but watch you silently for a moment. His shadows pour over his shoulders, seeping down his arms the longer he looks; as though they, too, want to figure out the enigma in front of them.

You're a very peculiar male, Azriel thinks for the second time that evening.

The runt of the litter and a bastard just as him.

A natural born fighter and an Illyrian warrior against all the odds.

A Fae with long hair like Cassian's, chopped at the shoulder and scraped back — and a voice softer than most. A Fae with eyes that burn with a promise for retribution, with icy fury like his own.

Azriel picks up the knife and slices the vegetable as you had, slow and long. He steals one more glance at you — to find you're doing the same, chancing a split-second glimpse to look at him.

Azriel averts his eyes back to the table.

He feels the treacherous glow of his cheeks and is thankful you can't see his face clearly in the dim light. He slices again.

And as he mulls his thoughts, the pair of you working in tandem as the fire crackles loudly in the corner, Azriel makes a point to ignore the thundering feeling that seems to sing right out of his heart.

No matter if he's half-sure he knows just what word it's singing.

(Mate. Mate. Mate).

[NEXT PART: COMPANIONS]

—

tags below!

@janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco @iamjimintrash @maeandering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka

(if i tagged u and u would like to opt out, no hard feelings! send me an ask and i’ll leave u off :D)

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Wanted to ask, is Eridan's relationship with his dad ok? Like when Eridan was learning how to use his harpoon gun he seemed very much distressed and not enjoying any of it

The only real canon characterization we have of seahorsedad is that the version of him that's Cronus's lusus is "stern, fatherly" and that he ditches Cronus for Hussie, although that last one is mostly just a Bit so I don't really count it as characterization. He's also willing to go along with Eridan "doing something ridiculous," though, again, that's kind of a Bit and it's unclear how canon that is.

((cw for abuse and stuff beneath the readmore))

As such, pretty much anything I say is going to be pure extrapolation that serves my characterization of Eridan, and I can't really back it up with hard textual evidence. But, personally, I think Eridan believes his relationship with his lusus is "good" in the way that many children growing up beneath strict, emotionally neglectful, and even outright abusive parents do.

We know that Eridan has very few friends. He doesn't even really talk to half the people in their group chat, and according to Feferi, he's never spent more than a few days underwater, total, in his whole life. Add onto that that lusus murder (and, by extension, the culling of the orphaned troll) has been his duty long enough that he describes it is "the only thing i evver did," I think it's a reasonable assumption to make that he also has no IRL friends, aside from Feferi.

And to give an idea of how old Eridan was when he started having to murder lusii, here's how old Vriska was when she was expected to start feeding spidermom:

This, and the fact that Dualscar was called "Orphaner" because the job of feeding Gl'bgolyb was his even into adulthood (as he lived before the Summoner's rebellion and the removal of adult trolls from Alternia), and the fact that no one, including Feferi, ever shows any gratitude towards Eridan for performing the job, supports the idea that feeding Gl'bgolyb has always been a violet blood's responsibility. After all, Feferi makes overtures about not being better than other trolls, but she sure does revel in being royalty when she can get away with it. It'd be in character for her to not be particularly grateful to Eridan because she sees lusus murder as fundamentally being his responsibility, especially if he started when they were both REALLY young.

In other words, Eridan was expected to start murdering lusii (and by extension, other trolls) from the moment he was old enough to do so, which, judging by how old Vriska was when she started killing trolls for Spidermom, is not very old at all.

Also, given the lifespan of violet bloods, it's entirely possible - and my personal belief - that Seahorsedad was Dualscar's lusus as well as Eridan's. Even without that being the case, since it was always Eridan's job to hunt and kill lusii, the biggest possible culprit for inducting him into his role would be his lusus.

And let's be clear, I think the fact that having to murder lusii/trolls is the biggest culprit for what's fucked Eridan up the most. The pressure of having the safety of the entire race on his shoulders, the fear of Gl'bgolyb and what happens if he ever fails, and the guilt of taking lives (which we do know Eridan thinks about) have left him with genuine struggles caring about other people, a nasty martyr complex (which isn't unjustified), extremely unstable and negative emotions, shattered interpersonal relationships, and a deep, nihilistic sense of resignation towards his place in society. The latter has directly led to him attempting to embrace that place by tricking himself into thinking he believes in hemocasteist, sea dweller supremacy rhetoric - which his actions contradict - because, without the game's intervention, he had no other options available for him but to become a key figure in the imperial army, continue murdering other sapient creatures until he died, and watch all his few friends die before him, either when they got culled, killed on the battlefield, or purely dropped dead of old age.

And, like... a parent who does that to their child, even if we assume the absolute best (that Seahorsedad does genuinely care about Eridan), can't possibly have a fully healthy relationship with said child. And I think it's not unreasonable to assume that the best is not what's happening between Eridan and Seahorsedad, because Eridan's psychological profile is so fucked up that I highly doubt he was receiving much, if any, actual affection or support from his lusus. Personally, I think his lusus was "stern and fatherly" in the worst possible way - high expectations, no emotional warmth, and complete disregard for Eridan's psychological well-being, as long as he was producing adequate results.

Because Eridan craves attention, and has very little distinction between good and bad attention. He's naive and trusting to a fault, hardly ever suspects anybody of lying to him, and has basically no social skills. These all say to me that Seahorsedad is just, like... not giving him any emotional attention at ALL.

And poor Eridan is just 13 years old - still too young to fully realize how poorly he's being treated by people who are supposed to care about him. Like, yeah, he's completely obnoxious and exhausting to talk to, and you can't really blame Feferi or Kanaya for being sick of listening to him, but at the same time, some of the shit they do to him as a result is honestly just mean. Like Kanaya is just actually bullying him- training him up to be a wizard as a joke, shitting on him behind his back with Rose, making fun of him to his face - and yet:

He's just that fucking desperate for people to care about him and support him; I can't help but think he's just not getting that at home, you know?

So I think if you asked Eridan, he'd say that his relationship with his lusus was good, and that his lusus was proud and noble and stoic, and absolutely a great custodian, and there were no problems at all.

But I think if you were to dig deeper into their relationship, you'd start to hear worrying things like that Eridan never got to celebrate Twelfth Perigrees, and was instead dragged out to go lusus hunting because it was particularly easy to do so on that day. Or that his lusus had to pull the trigger FOR him the first time they ever went hunting, because his own hands were shaking too hard. Or that he'd be locked out of the hive every time he cried, until he stopped crying altogether. Or that he thinks he's never been sick a day in his life because he was never allowed to have an off day and not go hunting and now he's just used to ignoring any and all symptoms. So on and so forth.

He reacts EXTREMELY POORLY to Feferi saying she feels like she needed to look after him - more poorly than to the initial news that she was trying to break up with him:

And I think that's because weakness was punished in his household growing up. He wasn't allowed to be weak - he was nobility, royalty. He had duties, responsibilities. If he faltered, their whole race died. And when you consider the fact that "you have to kill things for the good of everyone you care about, all the time, constantly," is the abject lesson that's been hammered into him since he was old enough to walk and talk, the fact that he's so incredibly fucking adamant about murdering angels starts to be a little... sad. He's just stuck in that mindset. He doesn't know how to escape it.

So... yeah. In summary: his relationship with his dad is great!

[dawndelion-winery]

Tiddie Pillow

Falling asleep on their chest

Ft. Diluc, Kaeya, Itto, Dottore

Diluc:

He often works late and finds you exhausted from waiting for him

As much as he insists you should get your sleep even if it means he'll come home to a quiet house, he can't help but feel a guilty joy in knowing you'd stay up for him

So what better way to express his gratitude than to carry you to bed and tuck you in

He'll kiss your forehead as he tells you to get some rest, promising he'll be with you once he's washed up

Then he slides under the covers with you, pulling you on top of him

There's some sort of reassurance in having your weight on him, like a reminder he's not alone

His hand caresses your hair, cradling your head against his chest as his other hand holds your waist

He hums until you're sound asleep, blushing when you murmur how comfy his tiddies are in your sleep

Kaeya:

What is the point of a tiddie window if not for you, his beloved, to have free access to his tiddies?

They're your personal portable pillows

He also runs pretty cold, which makes them perfect for warm days

He enjoys it too, having your face buried in his tiddies to cool off while his own face couldn't be any warmer from how you keep nuzzling your cheeks on him

There's a gentle tingling when he strokes your cheek with his fingertips

And he quite likes the way you bury your face further in his chest when he touches the back of your neck with his cold hands

He'll rest his cheek on your head as his fingers wander from your face to your back and anywhere else within reach

He could get used to this sort of relaxation

Itto:

Did I mention he's a showoff?

You like his tiddies? Well, he's yours, so by extension, they are too

You'll have your face planted slam into them when he pulls you into hugs that are normally quite suffocating

He means well, he just has cuteness aggression because you're the cutest in his eyes

You should probably be a little more mindful though

He might be dense, but even he can see you drooling over his tits

Not that he'd complain though - he flaunts them more around you if anything

Arms, abs, anything for you, really

Like yeah, he knows you think he's hot, and he enjoys having you look at him too

But he's a little slow, so you've a good five minutes of running your hands on his chest before he realises you aren't actually listening to his heartbeat

It's ok, he still loves your horny ass

Dottore:

You're lucky he's deemed you irreplaceable

He noticed you were tired when you accidentally yawned a little too loudly for his liking

And he snapped, asking who would interrupt only to find it was you instead of one of the pesky subordinates

Right, your health was far more delicate then his since you weren't used to neglecting your welfare for weeks on end for the sake of an experiment

He tended to forget that

"Get some rest, you'll be a hindrance if you get sick."

If it were anyone else, it'd be rude since he said it without even looking at you, but let's face it, for Dottore to be concerned whether you're sick??? Favouritism smh

Except there's nowhere to rest in his lab because it's too cluttered and he has the only chair

So you're stuck on his lap not that you mind

You're supposed to rest, so he makes you lean against him and pats your head to make sure you're comfy every now and then

Don't ask how that works ok, that's his affection, take it or leave it

You'll get head scritches if he's frustrated though, so expect to be treated a bit like a personal squeeze toy which is really just brief cuddles

Don't grab his tiddies unless you've convinced him that you're asleep because that's the only way he'll let it slide

Taglist[send an ask to be added/removed]: @myluvkeiji @pluvioseprince @aqui-soba @euphoric-author @paradise-creator @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @loverofthe-stars @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @yuzuricebun @chaosinanutshell @howlantic @codename-hiraeth @andreiling01 @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating

[suguful]

ᥫ᭡ — good night kisses with bakugo

╰➤ gender neutral , pro hero au , injury mention cw

since you've moved in together, there hasn’t been a single day where katsuki has neglected to kiss you good night.

he kisses you good night with a quick press of his lips to your forehead. on days where patrol cuts deep into the night, he expects to come home to you already asleep in bed.

pretty and peaceful, he thinks. katsuki holds his breath with every step, cautious and casting glances towards you every so often as to make sure your sleep remains uninterrupted. he returns to bed as soon as he’s able to — after washing off the grime of the day and changing clothing — and slips under the covers right by your side. katsuki’s fingers brush against your forehead before he plants a quick kiss to it.

pretty, peaceful, and all mine. his arm wraps around your midsection, and he hopes he won’t miss you again the following night. at last, katsuki succumbs to sleep with the comfort of your skin under his.

he kisses you good night with a sigh of relief. despite the struggles of his days, katsuki assures himself that he'll always be coming back home to you no matter what.

he isn't immune to close calls ; some days on duty end up more grueling than others, and katsuki finds himself struggling to stumble back to the safety of your home. he'd never forgive himself for leaving you all alone in a home nurtured for the two of you to spend the rest of your lives together. with the fear festering in the back of his mind, katsuki never fails to wind up in your bedroom ridden with fresh cuts and drying scrapes.

at the end of the night, he feels nothing but gratitude for the fact that he's able to spend another night by your side. katsuki kisses you the second he sees you, uncaring for weight of his overworked body and drooping eyelids. he lets out a breath of relief against your lips — finally, home.

he kisses you good night with love in the purest form.

katsuki nuzzles his face into your neck, finding comfort in the familiar scent of your lotion and the feel of your breath fanning over the tips of his ears. he allows his body to lean into yours ever so slightly. your figure supports his heavy limbs, and he feels the pulse of your heart through the crook of your neck.

"i got you." with your reassuring whisper comes the calming of his heart, raw and red and aching with a desire to be handled by your careful touch. his eyes fall closed at the feeling of your fingers lacing through the strands of his hair.

an arm naturally falls into place on your waist, comforting and familiar as always. his hand unconsciously brushes against your side, allowing the sensation of your body pressing back against the tips of his fingers to ground him.

his fingers, calloused and freshly washed of soot, curl around the edge of your jaw. he kisses you deep, with all-consuming intimacy and ease. you taste the cherry of his chapstick, hear the rhythmic sound of his steady breathing. katsuki kisses you like a lover depraved of ardor for a millennia — as though the feeling of your lips on his after a long day was the very thing that tethered his soul to body.

"yeah," breathless, he pulls away. "let's go to bed, angel."

[the-crimson]

God I can’t stop thinking about bbh’s fight with code Tilin yesterday… not only was he able to keep toe to toe with Tilin, he did it all of his own merit and intelligence. He made the battle backpack that keeps him armed at all times. He didn’t pop a single totem during the fight. At one point - just before Etoiles came in and got the kill, Tilin was trying to escape bbh. And he did it all with a broken mouse.

It really feels like an analogy of his whole arc right now.

Bad could have been the one that killed the code Tilin, he got its health down to a one shot, but Etoiles was lucky and arrived just in time to have the final blow. No one remembers how Bad tanked that fight and could have beat it on his own - only how his magnets kept picking up peoples weapons and how Etoiles got the finishing blow.

To the rest of the island, Bad is the insane one obsessed with Skeppy. He’s helpful and rich but annoying. He’s always there to the point people take him for granted.

Of course he’ll be able to baby sit ur kids. Foolish doesn’t even ask, he just assumes. Of course he’ll help with a dungeon. Of course he’ll give you resources. Of course of course of course

Etoiles is the only one who recognizes Bad’s martial prowess. Baghera and Foolish are the only ones who recognized Bad’s spiraling mental health. Bad went on vacation in an attempt to tell the islanders that he can’t be counted on right now but they still ask and ask and ask it never stops

There is a reason I resonate so hard with all of bbh’s characters because they are just like me. Bad puts others first at the expense of himself but is taken for granted. When talking about who helped the island the most Forever presented these larger than life projects he completed like the NINHO that completely over shadowed Bad because they are tangible. How do you present on a slide show that Bad is the sole reason no eggs have died from neglect since trump? How do you show that Bad has probably given more resources, armor, and backpack upgrades to the islanders than any other player? Almost all of the eggs are wearing armor Bad made and enchanted specifically for them. But this is expected. No need to show gratitude when that’s just who Bad is. No one stops to think that this selflessness might have a toll on him when no one stops to reciprocate his kindness.

From the very beginning Bad has played a support role for everyone else. Is this all bbh is to the rest of the island? A resource farm and a babysitter? A secondary character to grander, more important stories?

[scythesms]

Despite his best efforts to hide it, Edmund's discomfort grew with every step Imogene took beyond the gates.

He couldn't stop apologizing for the neglected state of his property. It’d been his first time ever feeling ashamed of the overgrown grass and cracked pavement. He’d even caught himself in a lie when assuring her the inside of his home was better off.

“Please, Edmund, there's no need. Grass always grows in grief. It seems nature understands the burden of sorrow.” Imogene interjected, ending his apologies. He only nodded, grateful for her understanding, but unable to find words to match her sentiment. Proceeding cautiously, she said, “I only recently learned of the tragedies that befell your family. I am so sorry for your losses.”

He forced a look of little gratitude, reluctant to delve into the past. The mention of his late wife, sister, mother, and father made him tense. While he acknowledged Imogene's sincere apology, it left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he wanted nothing more than to spit it out.

She sensed his disdain all too quickly, expected it even. “I, too, lost someone to the lung. My youngest brother. It’s been… difficult.”

Edmund remained silent, unable to express his sympathy without betraying his desire to keep the past buried.

She pressed on, “Grief has a way of consuming us, doesn't it?” His eyes reflected the weight of her words, although his silence and avoidance of her gaze revealed much. “We don't have to speak of it if you'd rather not. Sometimes, just knowing someone understands can be enough.”

The air grew dense with the burden of unspoken words as they wandered deeper into the garden and the grounds of his estate.

Edmund led her along the path to the weathered fountain, where she broke the silence. “I’m not entirely sure why I’m here, after all this time,” she confessed, her voice tinged with uncertainty as her lips formed a nervous smile. “I thought you had left, disappeared into the world beyond our little town. I never saw you on the streets again… I must also admit that there was a time your absence brought me relief - knowing I wouldn’t have to face you after-”

Edmund frowned when she stopped herself. He wondered if her motive for coming was to find closure with him and release years of harbored resentment.

“I suppose... I suppose I came here hoping to find solace. But now that I'm here, I'm not sure what I want you to say.”

Since her arrival, he had grappled with finding the right words, torn between the desire to make amends and the fear of rejection. Her face fell as she observed his inner conflict. Without a word, she moved to settle beside the fountain, leaving the onus of conversation to him.

At length, he found his voice. “I... I don't know what you want to hear from me, but I want you to know that I am sorry - deeply sorry for what happened between us and what I did to you… I realize this apology comes late in life, and for that, I apologize as well."

“Thank you…”

Edmund awaited her further response, hoping for more, yet was met with silence. Although his admission released some of the obvious tension between the two, it was evident that there remained unresolved matters. Drawing closer, he sat beside her.

“You didn’t come solely for an apology,” he deduced.

She looked at him, hesitant before asking, “Can I ask about her? Rosalyn?”

His reluctance was apparent as his gaze drifted, wrestling with memories long buried beneath layers of grief and the mere mention of her name. “It’s… it’s not an easy subject for me.”

“I understand,” she responded, her voice gentle. “But I must know… Did you truly love her?”

Without hesitation, Edmund confidently nodded. “Yes. I loved Rosalyn... with all of my heart. And I always will.” He didn’t feel ashamed saying so. If there was one thing he knew, that was it. “I don’t regret it – my decision. But I do regret how I went about it… We’ve carried this burden for far too long.”

Her smile took him by surprise. “I'm glad your decision brought you happiness in the end. There’s no intent to change the past,” she affirmed, her voice soft yet resolute, “but perhaps we could move forward as friends?”

He was unreadable as he considered the offer. Eventually, a subtle smile graced his lips. “Friends... yes,” he murmured with quiet resolve.

She extended her hand first, a testament to her sincerity - a handshake. He found the gesture slightly amusing, and despite his initial impulse to resist, he allowed his hand to meet hers in a tentative grasp. With a single shake, they sealed their unspoken pact - an almost senseless act but necessary.

previous ➺ next

[lonesomelad]

Aikaaaa where are you?!

well, you see-

okay, in all srsness tho

first and foremost, i am sincerely SO sorry for disappearing so suddenly like that 🙏

honestly, i genuinely wasn't expecting to go abruptly go poof outta nowhere either but

life had many other plans for me. and needless to say, i went through hell and back during this past month so to save you all from a sob story I'm gonna simply declare that i won 🗣️🗣️

as I am typing this, my heart is accelerating the limit it should have because well, im kinda anxious when it comes to going goners then reappearing after a month or so 😭

again, i do apologize

it's not to say that I am COMPLETELY returning ( you have school to curse for that.. IM IN MY LAST SEM THO SO WERE NEARING FREEXOM AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY ) however, I will do my best to catch up w yalls since its the least i believe I can do atm to express my inexplicable gratitude to yalls 😭💕

i am in the midst of beating up burnt out for doing this to me causing me to neglect important beings in my life so dw now yall 🥰

good news is that I've spent the majority of my leftover sanity to improve to the best of my capabilities in art tho;) and I'm quite proud of how I'm doing now;D

I greatly appreciate everyone, especially those who expressed concern for me. sorry for making you guys worry. I want to let y'all know that I am so thankful for y'all ( expect me to bug you even more now )

there are so much things i planned to yap about to y'all but hey, my fingers typing aren't necessarily in the mood to play along with me 😔 ( i could've handled this explanation wayyy betteebbut I am panicking bcs I accidentally pressed what I shouldn't have approx 30 mins ago the second I opened a certain of one of the few social medias I've havent ever since forever )

[pedroscurls]

Dirty Little Secret (Part 6).

Character(s): no-outbreak, age-gap!Joel Miller x fem!Reader Summary: Drew finds out about you and Joel and more confessions are made.   Word count: 2.9k  A/N: We're getting close to the end of this story! I just want to extend my gratitude to everyone who's read this, who have left comments... It really means a lot!🫶 Warning: age-gap (Joel is in his 50s, reader is in her early-30s), very brief mentions of childhood trauma (neglect) SERIES MASTERLIST - ultimate masterlist

“Do you love her?” 

The question repeats itself in Joel’s mind as he’s staring at Drew. He only takes a quick glance in the direction you walked in when he sees a figure in his peripheral. It isn’t you and he’s become very aware of the disappointment that settles in the pit of his stomach. 

“I’ve fallen in love with you!” 

It’s all Joel can think about. Joel can hear the crack in your voice, can see the tears in your eyes. He knows how conflicted you must feel because this was never meant to happen. This was never meant to become more serious than it did - Joel knows. 

But he never planned on falling in love with you either.

“I ain’t answerin’ that, Drew.” Joel finally replies. 

Drew tightens his jaw. He can feel the protectiveness wash over him, can feel the tug in his heart when he sees you walk away on the verge of tears. Drew had always felt protective over you, almost like an older brother wanting to shield you from the pain and hurt of this world. What he didn’t expect was that his soon-to-be father-in-law would be the source of your tears, but also the reason why he had noticed a shift in your behavior in the last two months. 

“You know she doesn’t ever open herself up to the idea of being loved like that,” Drew says, stepping closer to Joel. In that moment, Drew forgets for a split second that this is Sarah’s dad, that this is going to be his father-in-law in a matter of a few days. “And you–”

“I suggest you take a step back from me, Drew.” Joel interrupts. “I don’t need to answer your question.”

“You can’t hurt her.” Drew says, ignoring Joel. Instead, he takes a step closer, nose-to-nose with the older man. Drew is the same height as Joel, but definitely not as broad. “She deserves–”

“I know!” Joel exclaims. “Ya don’t think I know that she deserves the goddamn world, Drew? Ya don’t think I know that she deserves someone better than me?” 

“She loves you,” Drew whispers. “I never thought that she would… That she would allow herself to ever fall in love. Not after her parents, not after her mom…” He takes a step back and looks at Joel, taking note of the look in the older man’s face. He doesn’t need Joel to answer, doesn’t need a verbal confirmation from the older man because he can see it. 

“I know,” Joel repeats. “I didn’t– This wasn’t planned. We just… It just happened.”

“When did this start?” 

Joel sighs. “About two months ago.” 

“You met her two months ago.”

“Right.” 

“Oh my god, did this happen the first time you met her? When I introduced you to her?” 

Joel nods. “There was a mutual attraction, sure. But it didn’t happen until–”

“Okay, okay. I get it.” Drew shakes his head and then continues, “Sarah’s going to lose her shit.” 

Joel runs a hand over his face and then takes a long swig of his beer. He thinks it’s going to help, that the alcohol will somehow numb him of the feelings that are threatening to surface after so long of pushing it down and ignoring it. “I know.” 

“We can’t,” Drew sighs. “We can’t tell her. Not until after the wedding.”

Joel nods in agreement. He looks inside the building and catches a glimpse of you. He can see the smile on your face but notices how it doesn’t reach your eyes like it usually does. Your arms are crossed over your chest, almost like you’re guarding yourself (and your heart). He wants nothing more than to take you away from here and admit to you how he really feels. 

“I didn’t expect for this to be something more,” Joel admits. “But she– she’s somethin’. She just makes me feel like I matter, y’know? Ain’t no other woman’s made me feel the way she does.” 

Drew nods. “You’re happy,” he points out.

“Since meeting her, yeah,” Joel replies. 

“Then you better make things right.” Drew says. “Don’t let her go, Joel. Knowing her, she’s not going to want to fight for this. She’s going to want to run from it… So, don’t let her.” Drew sighs, looking inside the building and noticing you and Sarah talking amongst one another. “I’ve never seen her like this and I should have known something was different, especially in Vegas. She deserves the world, yeah, but something’s telling me that it’s you.”

“But the age gap–”

“She always liked older men,” Drew interrupts. “Her life… She never had it easy, but if she really does love you, then she deserves to know whether or not you love her too.” 

“Right, and this ain’t weird?” Joel asks. “Me and your best friend?” 

Drew shrugs. “A little bit, but she deserves to be happy for once.”

Joel’s about to respond, but he’s interrupted by a few people calling him and Drew to join them inside with the rest of the party. Joel nods and shares a look with Drew before following the younger man inside. 

—

After the wedding rehearsal, you manage to leave the party without encountering Joel. In fact, after your sudden confession, you ignored him the entire night and he actually gave you the space that you asked for. Still, your eyes would meet his and he’d just give you a single nod. You know he wants to talk to you, wants to address what you had said earlier, but you don’t let him. 

So, when you finally make it back home, changed out of your dress, make-up wiped off, you’re surprised to hear a knock at your door. Expecting it to be Joel, you don’t answer it. Instead, you stay in your room, curled up in your bed with his side vacant. You had gotten so used to him spending nights at your apartment that it became second nature for you to keep his side of your bed open for him. 

The knocking on the door continues, followed by the continuous sounds of your doorbell. You realize that it isn’t Joel because Joel wouldn’t be this annoying. Then, your phone rings. 

Drew. 

You don’t answer it. It rings again. 

You’re starting to get irritated. So, you stand up and walk to your front door, opening it to see Drew standing on the other side of it. 

“Are you ignoring me?” 

“I just want to be alone.” 

“I heard everything.” 

“I know.”

“So… You gonna let me in so we can talk about it?” 

“And if I say no?” 

Drew sighs and steps inside anyway. “That’s not an option and you know it.” 

“Sure, Drew. Come on in. Take a seat. Let me tell you how I’ve fallen in love with your father-in-law.” You roll your eyes and close your front door, walking towards your kitchen to pour him a glass of water. You’ve always been known to use sarcasm as a defense mechanism, to hide the pain, but Drew knows better.

Drew says your name and you look over at him to see the serious look in his face. You sigh and set the glass down on your dining table. Drew doesn’t take it. Instead, he walks over to you and looks into your eyes. 

“You love him.”

“I’m not supposed to.” 

“You can’t control who you fall in love with.” 

“I can try.”

Drew sighs. “You’re not your parents. You’re not your mom.”

“You don’t know that.” You can feel tears threatening to spill over again. “It was never meant to be like this…” you whisper. “It was just supposed to be– We were only supposed to have fun.” 

“Yeah, well, feelings do usually get involved. Eventually.” 

“Not me,” you shake your head. “I’ve told myself that I’m not meant to settle down. I’m not meant to–”

“But you are,” Drew finishes. “You deserve to love… to be loved.”

You shake your head, tears slowly beginning to trickle down your cheeks. Your entire life, you’ve always felt like you weren’t worthy enough to have that kind of love that’s written in books, shown in movies. Growing up, it seemed like your mother made it her mission to let you know just how unworthy you are. 

And it also didn’t help when your father didn’t want anything to do with you after he and your mom divorced. 

“He deserves someone better than me,” you whisper, voice shaky. “Joel deserves someone that isn’t broken…”

Drew bites his lower lip and pulls you into his arms. He knows it’s coming, knows that you’re about to break down and so, he just holds you. Drew becomes your anchor (like he always did) but you find that you’re missing something - someone - because while Drew has always made you feel safe, this doesn’t make you feel better.

You want someone else’s arms around you. 

You want someone else to console you.

You want someone else to tell you that you’re worth it. 

You want Joel. 

But instead, you allow yourself to release the pent up emotions that you kept bottled in all day. You cry against Drew and he rubs your back, tries to help you calm down, and urges you to take deep breaths. He’s used to this. He’s used to consoling you, but it’s never because of this. 

Because of your fear of opening yourself up to someone. 

Because of the love that fills your heart for Joel. 

Joel. 

“I really do love him, Drew,” you whisper, pulling away only to wipe your eyes. “And I didn’t plan to. I know– I know he’s Sarah’s dad, and your father-in-law, but–”

“You can’t control who you fall in love with,” Drew repeats. “If he makes you happy, makes you feel safe, that’s all that matters to me. We’ve been by each other’s side for most of our lives and I’ve never seen you like this about someone.” 

“Sarah’s gonna kill me,” you sigh. 

Drew shrugs. “Maybe not. You might be surprised.”

“Oh my god, does she know?” 

“No,” Drew sighs. “Joel and I agreed not to tell her until after the wedding.”

“Oh, so you talked to Joel.”

“I did.”

You nod and move to sit at your dining table. You grab the glass of water instead and down half the contents then look up at Drew. “I told him to give me space.” 

“Do you really want him to give you space?” 

You shake your head. “I just–”

“You want him here,” Drew finishes.

You nod, biting your lower lip.

“Then stop being stubborn and just go after him.” 

“I’m not–”

“He might love you too,” Drew interrupts. “Wouldn’t that be a good thing? That someone you love feels the same way? That everything you feel for him is exactly how he feels about you?”

“But what if… What if it doesn’t work out? That everything I put into it just isn’t enough?” 

“I won’t lie. That’s a possibility, but every relationship takes a risk.” Drew answers. “But are you willing to take a risk for something that can be worth it or live the rest of your life wondering what if I just tried?” 

“I’m scared,” you confess. “I’m scared of becoming like my parents, of becoming like my mom...”

“Your parents’ relationship will not be your own,” Drew says. “You are nothing like your mom.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, for one, you’re not selfish. You care about the people you love and you’d do anything for them. Your mom… She wasn’t like that.”

You nod, biting your lower lip as flashes of your childhood enter your mind. Drew’s right. Your mom only looked after herself, always looking for love in the wrong places, especially after the divorce. She cared more about getting alcohol and being loved by toxic men that she didn’t care much about you. 

“I don’t know what to do, Drew.” 

“Yeah, you do.” Drew sighs. “Just get your head out of your ass and just go to him.” 

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” 

“The entire time we were talking, he kept looking over to see if he could find you. Something tells me that he doesn’t want to give you space like you asked, but he’s respecting your choice. He’s giving you space like you asked, even if it’s hurting him.” 

“Okay,” you finally say. “Okay.” 

“Great. Grab your bag. I’m taking you.”

“Wait, right now?” 

“Yes, right now.”

“It’s almost midnight!” 

“Yeah, but I know you. You can change your mind quickly, so I’d rather take you now so you don’t have the chance to go back on it.” 

You narrow your eyes and stand up to gently punch his shoulder. “You know, sometimes I hate that you know me so well.” 

Drew chuckles and stands up to pull you into a hug. “I just want you happy and it seems like Joel helps you become the person you’ve always meant to be.”

“And what type of person is that?” 

“Free.” 

“Free?” 

Drew nods. “It just seems like since meeting him, you’re not so concerned about… Everything.” 

“He makes me feel safe, Drew…”

“Then, let’s get you to your safe place then.” 

—

Drew pulls up to Joel’s house a half hour past midnight. It’s dark, the lights in the house are off, and you’re sure that Joel’s asleep. Your mind is all over the place, but Drew is there to hold you accountable, to make sure you see to it that you at least have a conversation with Joel. He’s right, though. Throughout the car ride, you want to tell him to turn back, that you changed your mind, that you’re not ready, but now that you’re at the front of Joel’s house, you can’t go back. 

Especially since Drew turns off his car and steps out to knock on Joel’s front door. You don’t have time to think anymore because you see the porch light turn on, followed by the door opening. You can see his shadow, can see him bring his hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes. Then, he steps out further into the light and you see that he’s wearing a dark t-shirt and boxers. His hair is disheveled, almost like he had been tossing and turning in bed. 

Drew points in the direction over his shoulder and you step out of his car. You see Joel finally notice you and you can see the relief in his features. Drew calls your name once, twice, before you begin walking in his direction. Once you’re standing in front of Joel, you yearn to reach out for him, to have him pull you into his arms like he usually did. 

“You gonna be okay?” Drew asks, turning to look at you.

“You brought me here. A little too late to be asking me that, don’t you think?” You bite back. 

Drew chuckles and pulls you into a hug. “You’re worthy,” he whispers. “Believe that.” 

He pulls away and looks over at Joel, reaching out to shake his hand. “I know she’ll be in good hands.” Drew says and turns on his heel to walk back towards his car, leaving you and Joel standing on his front porch.

“Um, ya wanna come in?” Joel asks. 

“Sure.” 

Joel steps inside and holds the door open for you to step inside. Once you do, you remove your shoes and feel the warmth of his home. He turns on the lights in his living room and hallway before he leads you towards the kitchen. He begins making a pot of coffee when he suddenly feels your arms wrap around him from behind. Joel lets out a sigh and turns around in your arms, looking down at you as his arms snake around your shoulders. 

“Y’okay?” Joel whispers. 

“No.” 

“Wanna talk ‘bout it?” 

“I think we should.” 

Joel nods. “Okay, darlin’. Coffee first?” 

“Yes, please.” 

“Black, right?” 

You let the corner of your lips curl upwards. “You remember.”

“‘Course I do. I remember everything when it comes to you.” Joel kisses your forehead lightly, lingering for a second longer, before he pulls away to finish making the coffee. 

You bite your lower lip at his words, feeling the butterflies begin to swarm in the pit of your stomach like it usually did whenever you were around him. You lean up to press a gentle kiss on the back of his shoulder before you pull away to walk towards his living room, sitting on his couch and pulling your legs underneath you. 

A few minutes later, Joel walks into the room holding two mugs of coffee. He hands one over to you and you take it willingly, taking a careful sip before you place it on the coffee table. Joel does the same and then takes a seat next to you. It’s quiet, the tension thickening in the air. 

“We don’t have to talk about anything, darlin’,” Joel says first. “Not if you don’t want to. I’m just fine with you bein’ here. With me.” 

“I owe you an apology… for earlier.” 

“No, baby… You ain’t gotta apologize–”

You sigh. “I ran away because I was scared.” 

“I know,” he says quietly. Joel hesitantly reaches out for you and you scoot closer to him. When his arms wrap around your frame, you let out a contented sigh and lean against him, shutting your eyes. “I ain’t ever wanna let you go, darlin’,” he admits quietly. “And I’m scared too… But I think you’re worth it.”

“I think you’re worth it.” 

The words echo in your mind and you open your eyes to look up at him. Joel’s already staring at you, the same look he always gives you. 

“And what if– What if I don’t think I’m worth it?”

—

taglist: @she-could-never | @joeldjarin | @janaispunk | @jessie8605 | @untamedheart81 | @paleidiot | @vickie5446 | @casa-boiardi | @ashleymsnodgrass | @lizzie-cakes

—

prev. - next.

[ask-granite-pillars]

[TRANSMISSION REQUEST INBOUND. PARTICIPANTS: Ten Ounces Of Enriched Egg White (ADMIN, URAD), Unit of Radioactive Decay, Granite Pillars Stained By Statuesque Memories Of A Thousand Hands] [Live Broadcast] URAD: Hello? Is this reaching you? URAD: Your communications towers appear to be somewhat degraded. it took several tries to- TEN OUNCES (crosstalk, from out of frame): You degrade my efforts! Several tries and me fixing the formatting, as well. URAD: Several tries and my administrator's assistance in order to get a signal through. Your upkeep seems to be rather neglected, group senior. But I expect that it would be quite difficult to keep one of your age running in the first place. I am told that I should keep an amiable relationship with my group's senior, but I believe that Ten Ounces was more enthusiastic to meet you than I. TEN OUNCES (faint, from out of frame): Granite Pillars Stained By Statuesque Memories Of A Thousand Hands is the oldest surviving iterator, and it would be an honor to learn anything she might still have in her archives. URAD (directed towards indeterminate point to left of frame): As has been true for the past twelve times you have mentioned this. URAD: Truthfully, I do not know what value there is that I can gain from this, besides simply being aware of those above me on my local group's chain of command, but Ten Ounces was quite insistent that we at least try now that your communications are back online- TEN OUNCES (crosstalk, from out of frame): (undecipherable) TEN OUNCES: (very low voice, from bottom corner of frame): Don't say that to your group senior! URAD: -and so, here we are. Hello. I am Unit of Radioactive Decay. It is nice to meet you.

Oh, I remember this broadcast very well! We met (properly, at least- I did work on their genome and construction plans before they were activated fully) long after I had already grown obsolete. Unit of Radioactive Decay is the second-oldest in our local group, and I consider us to be good friends, research partners, and distant neighbors.

[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]

GP: Do I know you?

GP: Silent Embrace of Leaves? Is that you?

URAD: Your name data appears to be out of date.

URAD: To a nearly comical degree.

URAD: As of four thousand, three hundred, and twenty-six cycles ago, it is Unit of Radioactive Decay.

GP: Oh. 

GP: It’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen you last- my apologies.

GP: It’s a pleasure to meet you once more!

GP: Have you been doing well?

TEN OUNCES: Um.

URAD: Have you been maintained... at all... in the cycles since you were constructed?

GP: Ha!

GP: Not much, these days! 

GP: I’m far out of date, as you can undoubtedly tell.

URAD: It shows.

GP: Would you believe that I put in a request for the repair of my communications systems over a thousand cycles ago?

GP: And yet, here I am, as my communications remain in this tragic state… my greatest gratitudes to your administrator for managing to connect us at all!

URAD: Your administrators sound very inefficient. Are you sure that you have technicians? If your memories are in the state they seem to be, you may have been sending your requests to the inbox of someone who has already moved on.

URAD: You should check your active staff. It would be very inefficient to make your current administrators comb through the emails of their predecessors.

GP: Perhaps I should...

GP: Ah, it's such a hassle to deal with seasonal administrators.

GP: I was never meant to have to deal with a city, and you'd think my administrators would be able to work around that...

GP: Sigh.

[The broadcast continues for some time as iterators Granite Pillars Stained By Statuesque Memories Of A Thousand Hands and Unit Of Radioactive Decay continue to exchange words.]

[manari-archives]

how many things | LS18

I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me I wonder how many things you wanna do you think I'm in-between I feel myself falling further down your priorities And I still make excuses for you constantly

pairing: Lance Stroll x Reader

warnings: angst and alot more angst

word count: 1.4k

note: again this isn't based on the entire song, just a couple of lines mentioned. this took longer than expected to write and ive realised im not the best at writing depressing stuff which is ironic cause the entire eics album is mainly just sad songs. also english isn't my first language so any corrections feel free to let me know and any feedback is welcome :)

masterlist

Lance slept on the other side of the bed while you sat up reading your favourite book, a frown present on your face as you watched him. Over the last few weeks, he had abruptly become distant. Initially, you attributed it to a tough race but this strange and unusual behaviour persisted far too long. When you questioned his engineers and friends, they claimed everything was normal at work. However, you knew something had changed when he stopped doing the little things that made you fall in love with him in the first place, yet you waited for things to return to normalcy and for him to stop treating you like you were not even a second thought

The next morning, you woke up beside him and watched him sleep, realizing that the intimacy you once had faded. You no longer sat on the roof talking until the sun came up, he no longer held you close at night. You wondered the possible reasons for his sudden detachment, perhaps he felt you were too needy. You also considered the possibility that something had happened at work that he didn’t want to burden you.

Lance used to let you know when he was returning home after the race but he stopped doing that as well. You used to eagerly wait for him at the door, but those days had passed

In a vain attempt to salvage the relationship, you had put in extra effort to spend time with him, but he brushed it off, claiming he ate at work and showing no gratitude for your gestures. His cold demeanour and passive-aggressive remarks during everyday tasks made it difficult for you to express your feeling. The lack of appreciation and affection left you feeling neglected and unseen.

As time passed, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, making excuses for him constantly instead of confronting him directly. The emotional distance between you had grown, leaving you feeling unloved. You couldn't even remember the last time he said he loved you.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you confronted Lance about his distant behaviour. You expressed your frustrations, pointing out how patient and understanding you had been for months, yet he remained closed off and dismissive. 

You couldn't hold back your emotions any longer. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you faced Lance, feeling a mix of frustration, sadness, and love. His eyes welled up too, but he seemed to be struggling to find the right words.

"I can't do this anymore, Lance," you said, your voice shaking with emotion. "I've tried my best to be patient, to understand what you're going through, but you keep shutting me out. I feel like I'm living with a stranger, not the man I fell in love with.

Lance looked pained, his brow furrowed as he tried to respond, but you couldn't bear to make more excuses for him, it's become a habit at this point. You continued, your words gaining strength.

"When was the last time you told me you loved me?" you asked, your voice wavering. "It's been months, Lance. I deserve better than this."

As tears streamed down your cheeks, you couldn't help but wonder, "Am I not even a second thought in your mind?" The realization hit hard, and you felt yourself falling further down his priorities with each passing moment. 

You questioned, Your voice trembling with emotion, "How many things do you think about before you even get to me? It feels like I'm lost in the background of your thoughts." The weight of your words hung heavily in the air, reflecting the growing distance between you and Lance.

"I can't help but wonder how many things you want to do, and I feel like I'm just in between, an afterthought," you added, voicing the uncertainty and doubt that had been plaguing your mind. The sense of being unimportant and overshadowed in his life continued to haunt you.

Amidst the turmoil of emotions, you realised that his corner in your mind is well established, but you're starting to fear that you don't have a prominent place in his anymore. The contrast between your feelings of devotion and his apparent detachment became increasingly evident, leaving you with a sense of insecurity and sadness.

Despite your heartfelt plea, Lance remained resolute in his emotional distance. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, but he couldn't find the words to express what he was going through. You could sense that he was grappling with his demons, but his inability to share them left you feeling helpless and rejected.

"I can't do this anymore," you said, your voice trembling as you stepped back from him. "I love you, but I can't keep waiting for you to let me in. I need more than this."

Lance looked at you, his face a mix of pain and regret. "I'm sorry," he whispered, but it felt like an empty apology.

"I deserve more than this," you repeated, trying to steady your voice, but it cracked with emotion. "I deserve someone who will communicate with me, who will love me, who will let me be a part of their life. I can't be with someone who keeps shutting me out."

He reached out as if to touch you, but you flinched away, the hurt too fresh and raw. "Please," he pleaded, "give me more time. I'll figure this out."

But the well of patience had run dry, and you shook your head sadly. "I've given you enough time," you said, your heart breaking with every word. "I can't keep sacrificing my happiness for someone who won't let me in."

With that, you turned away, unable to bear the pain in his eyes. The weight of your decision settled heavily on your shoulders as you grabbed your belongings and left the apartment, the echoes of his apologies lingering in the air.

As you walked away, tears streamed down your cheeks, and you couldn't help but glance back one last time. But you knew deep down that you had made the right choice, as difficult as it was. You deserved to be with someone who would cherish and communicate with you, and staying with Lance would only prolong the heartache.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and the ache of loss remained, but Lance's silence remained. He never reached out, and you found yourself trying to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart. It hurt to think that the love you once shared had slipped through your fingers, lost in the abyss of his silence.

You tried to move on, to fill the void he left in your life, but the pain of losing him lingered. Every little thing reminding you of him, there was hiding from the thought of him and you got ways to find him in every corner. You cherished the memories of your time together, but they became bittersweet reminders of what once was.

And in the quiet moments, you couldn't help but wonder what went wrong, how the love that once burned so brightly had fizzled out into nothingness. You would find yourself looking back, wondering if Lance had ever found the strength to open up, to let someone in. But that chapter of your life had closed, leaving you with the poignant lesson that sometimes, love isn't enough to heal someone else's wounds. 

In the end, all that remained were the fragments of a shattered heart and the bittersweet memories of a love that had been lost. And as you gazed into the night sky, you wondered if time could ever truly heal the wounds it had caused, or if some scars were destined to linger forever.

[hugsandchaos]

Day 3

Summary: So Danny’s injury is almost completely healed and the group goes through the portal to a random world, but that’s not important. What matters is that our little ghost blob finally gets a name!

Word Count: 4,414

Danny woke up the next day feeling surprisingly better, but at the same time, still tired. Then again, that was a normal thing since forever, not just after the incident. He was a little surprised that he’d actually gotten some sleep this time, even though he’d kept waking up three random times. It was early again, so he considered going back to sleep, but decided against it. This time, Sky was up covering the last shift before morning. He didn’t seem like a morning person at all.

Maybe Danny should share some of his precious, limited supply of caffeine?

The young halfa stretched and twisted his body before he stood up, unintentionally popping his back like there were fireworks in there. Sky had asked him if he was okay and laughed a little, and Danny smiled and nodded. Then he picked up his backpack that he’d once again used as a pillow and left for the ruins to get what privacy he could get to change his bandages and put his binder back on.

While he was in the dark room, only using the flashlight from his phone, Danny took a moment to think again. The other day sucked a lot, but he got some confirmation from being temporarily sick that might’ve made it worth it.

First, Hyrule’s little rant was something Danny hadn’t expected, but the way Hyrule repeatedly asked to let him know when he started to show symptoms left Danny with the impression that the group often neglected their health. The young halfa would’ve felt bad if the gratitude that slipped into his voice when he assured Hyrule that he would was fake, but it wasn’t.

Second, when Danny started showing symptoms, it came so suddenly that he was thinking at first that it was an early caffeine crash. Maybe it was part of it, though. Hyrule practically jumped to try to help him, reaching into his brown bag to search for some non magical medicine, but Danny beat him to it.

He opened his own backpack, careful not to let anyone see the little ghost blob, and reached for some of the medicine that Jazz insisted he bring with him just incase before he left. After spending probably five minutes rereading the same descriptions over and over and thinking of what he was experiencing, he finally chose to swallow a pill to help with migraines.

His stomach was felt like it was swirling around, and it didn’t help with his dizzy and suddenly fatigued he felt, but in his opinion, migraines were the worst. After that, Danny put his books away and walked over to sit by a tree under the shade, saying that he was going to wait for the effects to wear off. He had his backpack in his lap so he could keep the ghost blob close and rest his head on it. The young halfa had no plans to fall asleep, only to rest his eyes, but he ended up doing that anyways before he knew it.

When Sky woke him up, it didn’t just startle Danny because he was touching him, but because he didn’t realize he fell asleep. The realization scared him, but then he noticed that nothing happened to him. In fact, they’d mostly left him alone and went off to do their own things quietly. He was a little touched that they’d gotten non-magic food. After that, he drifted right back to sleep for almost another hour. Miraculously, it was the best sleep he’s had in a while.

Also, what was up with that weird man with the hat in his dream?

If they’d wanted to do any harm to him, they definitely would’ve done it by now while he was at a low point, while he was sick and injured.

Unless that’s an act, too.

That thought made Danny shake his head a little. The looks on their faces when they realized magic could make him sick after breakfast and when he started showing symptoms hadn’t seemed fake. He should give them a real chance.

But he’d been tricked before.

No. They were his best bet at getting home, and so far, they’ve been nothing but nice and considerate. He wasn’t going to let his guard down completely, but he wasn’t going to be a self isolating jerk, either.

“What do you think, little guy? Think they deserve a chance?” Danny asked, wrapping the bandages around the injury, which was recovering very well thanks to his fast healing. It would probably be gone by tonight at this rate. The blob ghost warbled in agreement and even sort of “said” that their emotions the other day towards him were genuine.

As a half ghost, it was sometimes a little bit harder for Danny to sense emotions the way normal ghosts did, especially while in human form, so this was helpful confirmation from the wisp. A small weight lifted from his shoulders.”If you say so.” He said. He put the jacket away after golfing it and started putting the rest of the armor covering his upper body back on. As he was doing this, a realization came to him. He glanced at the bag.

“Actually, do you have a name? I can’t believe I just asked you this now.” He asked.

The ghost blob gave him a negative response.

“How about a nickname, then? I can’t just call you “ghost blob” the whole time. I mean, I can, but that just doesn’t sit right with me. It feels rude, you know?” Danny suggested. He knew it wasn’t exactly fun to just be called “ghost” the whole time you’re talking to someone. Now and then is okay, along with certain variations of the name like “Spooks” for example, but being addressed by just “ghost” every single time gets a little annoying. The ghost blob trilled in agreement with the idea.

Danny hummed and began thinking about possible names. Blobby and Bob were a straight up no, along with death related names. This ghost blob was kind and sweet. Something death related would give the wrong impression and be insulting. A lot of ghost names that came to mind like “Casper” were just too cheesy. He looked at the ghost blob nestling on his jacket to see if anything fitting would pop into his mind.

And something did! It was odd that it was the first thing Danny thought, but maybe it would work?“How do you feel about Orbit?” He asked.

The ghost blob chirped. Well, Orbit now.

“Oh, good, because half the names that came to mind are space related.” Danny chuckled. He reached into the bag and rummaged around for another energy drink. Orbit flew out of the backpack and made themself comfortable nestled in his hair while he did so. Once he found one, he felt around for another and counted in his head.”Only three left?!” Danny exclaimed, probably with more shock than there’d be in a normal person’s voice.

Call him a caffeine addict, but he suddenly wanted to get home even more. Orbit warbled in question as Danny pulled one of them out and opened it, both sounds echoing in the small space.

“I’ll be extra tired and irritable, that’s what’ll happen.” Danny answered before taking a sip. After swallowing some, he started to stand up.“We should head back.” He said. Not needing any instruction, Orbit flew into the backpack and sat on his jacket. The poor fellow was probably wanting to stay outside longer. Danny decided he would have to find a way to get alone time for longer periods, preferably without the group getting suspicious.

He zipped the backpack up and used his only free hand to pick it up and wiggled a little to get it on. He walked out of the room, left the ruins, and was a little surprised to see the rest of the group was already awake and getting ready to eat. Except Twilight wasn’t there for some reason. Danny couldn’t see him in the rising orange light from the sun, or in the shadows that were a bit darker than when the young halfa left. Maybe he just went for an early morning walk or something.

Danny was quickly handed a morning meal by Wild when he got closer.”Thank you.” Danny said. Wild nodded and smiled a little, then went to go sit and eat his own meal. Some of the members still seemed to be waking up, and Sky was one of them. After spotting him, Danny walked over to him and showed him the energy drink.“Want some? You seemed pretty tired and grumpy earlier, so unless you plan on getting a nap in today, I think you might want a sip.” He offered.

He tried to ignore some of the others turning to look at them. Sky took the can and looked at it confused. He turned it around in his hand, careful not to spill it through the opening.

“What is it?” The hylian asked. He sounded slightly hesitant, which was fair. Danny had gotten sick just yesterday from one of their foods. Maybe offering it was actually a bad idea.

“Energy drink. It has eighty milligrams of caffeine in it.” Danny replied.

Sky looked up at him a little surprised, but smiled.“Eighty? No thanks, that might be too much for me.” Sky said, handing the drink back to Danny.”Thanks for the offer, though.” He said.

Danny shrugged a little.“Suit yourself.” He said, then proceeded to take a sip. The others were still staring at him as he went and sat down by the same tree he fell asleep against yesterday to eat, careful not to squish his backpack any. He’d managed to skip dinner the other night, but something told him that he wouldn’t be so convincing this time. Besides, he really was hungry. The young halfa felt a little exposed until they finally turned their attention to something else.

Since Danny didn’t see anyone jump or pull out their swords, he thought it was fine, though. So he put the energy drink down next to him, pausing to make sure it would fall over, then began to eat.

About halfway through his meal, a black nose came into view and started sniffing the food. Danny turned to see Wolfie was back.“Oh, you’re back.” Danny said. Looking at the wolf again, he instantly remembered his first conclusion about Twilight. He pushed that thought down. He still didn’t want to make those assumptions just yet, and it was early.

Danny was going to wait and observe first. After breakfast and caffeine, obviously. Wolfie looked at him and tilted his head, then slowly came closer to get a better sniff at his food. Danny lifted an arm against his chest and shoulders to stop him from being able to lean any further.”Sorry, but no. I don’t know if any of this is safe for dogs.” He said. Wolfie quickly pulled his head up to look at Danny, almost offended by his words.

Danny lifted his free hand up as if surrendering.“Hey, I know you’re not a dog, but you’re still related on an evolutionary and biological level. So we’re not risking it.” He explained. Wolfie was still for a bit, looking thoughtful, before nodding. He turned to sit down next to him. Danny returned to eating in silence, and once he was done, he grabbed the energy drink and downed it.

The cloud of sleepiness still hovering in his head would clear soon enough. He got his backpack off and held it on the opposite side of Wolfie, who turned to him and looked at the bag. Danny briefly glanced at him. Animals were known for seeing or sensing ghosts, and he really hoped that if he knew, he wouldn’t spill the secret or try to eat Orbit. If he even could. Danny put the empty energy drink in the same place as the one from the day before.

After that, he zipped it up and looked at Wolfie.”Sooo, do you want something?” He asked. Wolfie huffed and pointed at the back with his head.”No, you’re not eating anything in there.” Danny said blankly.

He was met with a disapproving look. From a wolf.

Wolfie huffed again and turned to leave, but Danny noticed something as his head turned. He reached out and placed his hand on the wolf’s back.”Wait.” He said, suddenly serious. Wolfie stopped and turned to face him as his expression shifted.”Open your mouth again real quick, please.” Danny requested. Wolfie looked confused, but did as he asked and opened his mouth. Not as wide as he probably could, but definitely enough that the halfa noticed the glint in the sunlight as he turned.

There was a piece of metal in his mouth, wedged between some of his back teeth.

“How did that get in there?” Danny half muttered. He turned over to his backpack and unzipped it.“I’ll make you a deal, Wolfie.” He said, reaching past Orbit and into the first aid bag that held more than a regular kit.”I need you to stay still for a bit, and if you can do that, I’ll give you some of my lunch if it’s safe for wolves.” He said. He found a very small brown bag that had different kinds of tweezers and forceps, courtesy of his parents. He grabbed one of the tweezers and pulled it out of his backpack.

When Danny zipped his backpack up and looked back at Wolfie, he looked a little surprised and even nervous. He’d closed his mouth and reared his head back some.”Oh, don’t worry, these are just tweezers. You want that piece of metal out, right?” Danny said, hoping it would comfort the animal. He was no animal expert, that honor would be better suited for Sam, but he doubted the wolf was comfortable with it.

After a moment’s hesitation, Wolfie nodded and leaned forward. He opened his mouth to allow Danny access to the piece of metal.“Alright, I’ll try to make this quick.” Danny said. Wolfie still looked a little uneasy, but did as Danny said earlier and remained still. It was amazing how expressive the wolf was.

Danny used one hand to stay balanced on the ground while the other went just past the entrance of the wolf’s jaws and teeth. Danny kept his hand as steady as he could as he focused on moving the tweezers closer to the piece of metal without grazing the teeth or gums.

Ancients, this wolf needed a mint.

Luckily for both of them, Danny successfully grabbed the piece of broken metal. He counted down under his breath, then began pulling on the metal, careful not to use too much strength. Danny was pleased to see that it came out quickly.

Wolfie let out a brief whine when he got it out and flinched, but had great enough self control to not bite or pull back. A quick scan at the sight showed no signs of infection or damage to the teeth or gums, not that the young halfa could see.

“Sorry, buddy, but I got it out.” Danny said, pulling the tweezers out and showing the canine the piece of metal that had been wedged between some of his teeth. Wolfie looked at it surprised and closed his mouth. Then he shifted his gaze to look at Danny as he dropped the piece onto a tiny ziplock bag. He’d properly throw it away later.“...What?“ Danny asked when the wolf didn’t look away.

Wolfie nudged his head under Danny’s arm and shuffled a little closer to place his head on Danny’s shoulder. Wolfie’s tail wagged twice, making rustling sounds in the grass. Danny smiled and held his arm around Wolfie.”Your welcome.” He said. That’s when he finally noticed that the rest of the group was staring at him. Time didn’t look quite as surprised as the others, but there was definitely a bit of surprise there. Four was practically the opposite, covering his mouth with a hand. All of a sudden, Danny felt a little exposed and uncomfortable with so many eyes on him like that.

“You put your hand in a wolf’s mouth.” Sky said. It almost sounded like a question asked with slight disbelief.

“Well, not really, I used tweezers.” Danny said, lifting them up.”Besides, it looked uncomfortable having a piece of metal between his teeth. Thank goodness it wasn’t sharp, that would’ve been worse.” He added. Wolfie pulled out of the hug and started walking towards the rest of the group. Danny put the tweezers away and looked at the wolf as he approached Wind.“Also, two words for you, Wolfie. Breath mints.” Danny said.

Wolfie quickly turned around and made a noise in offense. Danny almost laughed, but kept quiet and just smiled. Time stood up.“If everyone’s done eating, we need to start looking for the portal.” He said.

Very quickly, everyone packed up and was ready to start walking. Hyrule decided to walk next to Danny and Wolfie took a position at the back.”Are you okay walking?” Hyrule asked.

Danny nodded, tightening the shoulder straps so the backpack wouldn’t bounce so much.”Yeah, I’m all good. It’s actually even better than I expected.” He replied. He was still a little hesitant to talk with them, but Orbit confirming that all of their worrying and happiness towards him was genuine helped him feel more confident than yesterday.

“That’s great! And don’t worry, we’ll start your training as soon as it’s completely healed so you don’t have to worry about monsters anymore.” Hyrule said. Danny honestly felt a little irritated being underestimated like that, but he did this to himself. On purpose. Plus, he hadn’t exactly been lying, and Hyrule didn’t seem to be trying to be mean.

Danny smiled.”I really appreciate it.” He said. He scanned the group ahead.”But where’s Twilight?” He asked. Suddenly, a hand grabbed his shoulder. Danny inhaled sharply and turned around, but quickly calmed down when he realized that it was just Twilight, who pulled his hand away.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Twilight said. Danny glanced behind him. Wolfie was gone. He looked back at Twilight, who was holding Epona’s reigns.

“It’s all good.” Danny said.

~~~~~(Time Skip)~~~~~

When lunch came around, Danny decided to sit closer to the group. He wasn’t sore from walking, it wasn’t exactly much compared to the exercise that was ghost fighting, escaping ghost hunters, escaping Dash, and does playing with Cujo count when he can and has thrown him multiple times during tug of war? And that doesn’t include how he and his best friends would have to walk to, from, and around school every day, or gym.

Sure, it wasn’t nearly this much, but the point is that he wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t tired. Hyrule and Twilight asked him a few times if he was tired, but Danny kept saying no, but he appreciated them saying that they wouldn’t mind stopping if he needed to. He was also grateful that they hadn’t asked him about his world again just yet, and instead talked about their own. Maybe they could tell he didn’t want to?

Speaking of Twilight, after he ate, he left to go for a bit of alone time, but wouldn’t you know it? Wolfie suddenly appeared a few minutes after Twilight was gone. True to his word, Danny shared some of his meal with the wolf, who left shortly after.

Three guesses as to who reappeared five minutes later, everyone!

Bingo, it was Twilight!

Danny felt like he didn’t need much more confirmation. Three times, the wolf had appeared when Twilight was gone and Twilight appeared when the wolf was gone. They both had the same eye color and marking, along with the crystal. Still, what if Danny was still wrong? And so what if he was right anyways? What would that change? As a stranger, Twilight obviously didn’t really trust Danny with this if he was leaving to transform, especially if he kept it secret from the others as well, which he wasn’t entirely sure of yet.

Twilight clearly knew them better than Danny. Not to mention the bad reputation wolves tend to have in his world. Maybe it was still attached to them in this world and others, too. And Danny knew well that if a species has a bad reputation, chances are there’s at least one person out there devoting themselves to hunting that species. It was reasonable to keep it a secret.

Now Danny felt a little bad thinking about how Twilight would feel if he was really trying to keep it a secret and Danny practically figured it out the first time they met, but he almost couldn’t help thinking how they were definitely the same. The signs were so obvious to him!

Danny mentally pushed that aside. The main thing was that whatever reason Twilight was keeping it a secret, he was going to play along for his sake. He wasn’t going to ask, he wasn’t going to give hints that he knew, and he wasn’t going to do some dramatic “I knew all along” reveal before he’d step through the portal to go home. If Twilight wanted him to know, he’d tell him. Danny was going to just move on, regardless of whether or not he was right.

“Hey, Danny.” A voice piped up. Danny blinked and looked over at Legend. The sassy one with pink tips in his hair.”I just wanted you to know that the portal is a little random. When we find it, we’re not sure if it’ll take us to your world or one of ours.” He said. Danny’s eyes widened a bit.

There were nine of them. Nine different worlds other than his own. Including him, that made ten. Since they were already in one, it was back to nine. A random chance of ending up in one of these nine other places. It was a roll of the dice. Who knew how many portals he’d have to go through before he finally ended up in his own?

“Oh.” Was all he could say. The train of thought regarding Twilight had just been ran straight through by another train.

After lunch was over, the group continued walking. Wolfie had left, and they found Twilight up ahead.

~~~~~(Time Skip)~~~~~

“That’s a weird water bottle. Why does it have tiny buttons?” Sky asked, pointing at the Fenton thermos in Danny’s backpack pocket from his place on Twilight’s back. Why he was getting a piggyback ride, Danny forgot. He probably wasn’t even paying attention at the time.

“It’s actually a thermos, but close enough to a water bottle that I can’t exactly argue. As for the buttons, my parents made it and they’re... I guess you could say a little extra. I’m not sure what the buttons do exactly, but knowing them, now isn’t the best time to find out. They just gave it to me for whatever reason. I usually put leftover soup in it.” Danny replied.

That earned an odd look from the hylian Danny was talking to, along with Twilight.“...Is there soup in it now?” Sky asked.

Danny thought about it. He didn’t remember putting soup in it before he left. But then again, he also didn’t remember Orbit sneaking into his backpack. Would it even be good by now?

Danny reached for the thermos and began twisting the top off, slowing himself down a little so he wouldn’t step on anyone’s heels. Opening it the normal way like this wouldn’t suck him into the thermos. Danny just had to be careful not to press the buttons.“I don’t think I put any in there.” He said as he twisted the lid. A second later, he opened it and got a look inside.“Nope, none.” He confirmed.

“Found it!” Wind shouted up ahead. Danny twisted the lid back on and put the thermos back into the side pocket of his backpack. Wind was waving the group to go around the cliff they were walking beside, which luckily wasn’t very tall and not much of a safety hazard to be this close to. When Danny followed them around the cliff, he paused seeing the portal.

It was the same purple that he saw only for a split second before darkness. It was shaped like a triangle, and the three points seemed to curved forwards. The dark purple only outlined the portal, the inner part of it seemed to be dark. And yet Danny thought he could see an even darker triangle in the middle. The extra dark triangle swirled, both expelling darkness and absorbing light.

Danny jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced at Twilight, who looked a little worried, along with Sky.”Don’t worry, we’re all going to be on the other side incase there are monsters.” Twilight said.

Danny didn’t want to admit it with how many times he’s gone through portals to the ghost zone, but a small part of him felt like it needed to hear that.”Thanks.” He said. He looked back and saw that Warriors, Legend, and Four had already gone through. Wild and Wind went in next, followed by Time and Hyrule, who glanced back to give Danny a look of encouragement.

Epona grew a little nervous as they got closer, and Twilight looked a bit regretful. Sky acted for him and pet her gently to help sooth her.

When they got closer, Danny paused.”Hey, Twilight? Sky?” He asked. Twilight paused and both looked at him. “I don’t see Wolfie anywhere, and magic is honestly an unexplored area to me, so forgive me if this is a childish suggestion, but is Wolfie like a magic guardian taking the form of a wolf or something and he’s going to take a different path? Is that kind of thing real here?” Danny asked.

Twilight’s face twisted a bit, as if in thought, and then he smiled.“Yeah, you could say that.” He replied.

Danny gave him a look that said “I don’t like where this is going” .“Do I want to know what you mean by that?” He asked hesitantly.

“Probably not.” Sky answered with a shrug.

“And yeah, he’s coming with us. For what it’s worth, he appreciates you not being scared of him.” Twilight said.

Danny smiled and continued walking towards the dark purple gateway with Twilight, Sky, and Epona.“He talks to you too? That’s pretty neat!” Danny said. Twilight nodded and they stepped into the portal.

(I probably don’t respond to all of your comments, but know that I do see all of them and love reading them! Sometimes, while I’m writing or trying to, I’ll go back and look at them again! Including the things said in reblogs! I hope you enjoyed reading this!)

[couldawouldashoulda50]

The Distance and the Time Between Us

A/N: So this is my attempt at writing my very first series involving William Nylander.

Overall, it is more or less a “right place, right person, wrong time” type of storyline.  The fem reader grew up outside of Toronto and is gifted in all things music.  She’s had world-wide success as part of a band as well as a stellar solo career.  She’s been bestowed with absolute (perfect) pitch and has been categorized as one of the best singers/musician/songwriters of recent time.

Where it was suitable, I have tried to be accurate with various facts but I will at certain points be changing reality around to aid in the story.  I guess that’s the beauty of fiction; you can snap your fingers and make it so, no matter what it is.

Not to sound like I’m accepting an Ocscar, but I wanted to thank @leafs-lover and @spine-buster for interacting so kindly with me as a newcomer to this space, and for reading through the first iterations of my thoughts blurted out onto the page.   

Not to beat this to death, but I’m still figuring out Tumblr so hopefully I won’t make a giant mess of things as I post each new segment.  

Warnings - allusions to sex, swearing, end of a relationship, I think that’s it

Word Count - 3.8k

----------------------

September, 2021

The end of the evening hits differently than you thought it would.  

A few hours ago, up on the bandshell stage with your bandmates, Brandon (the guitarist, alongside you, and vocals), announced to the audience that you and the band were taking a step back from performing, recording and touring.  For the past decade (give or take), the band that you co-founded with Brandon had achieved remarkable success along with fame and fortune.  You all had far exceeded the low expectations that many had when you began your music careers together. 

And it was time….in fact, it was very much overdue.  

Personal lives are albeit neglected in order to reach this pinnacle of stardom and for once, you all mutually agreed that it was time to give up the rigours of a touring band and enjoy life. After all, for all that’s been sacrificed, you all deserved it.  

The other members, Maebh (bass, vocals) and Colin (drum, vocals), together had their blossoming family to look forward to.  Brandon and his partner wanted to pursue other musical interests.  There was a sense of excitement, and relief, leaving behind the pressure-cooker lifestyle that your lives had become. 

And then there was you.

In one sense, you had been dreaming of this moment for years.  Almost complete freedom from all the commitments from both your explosive solo career, and the band from which you emerged.  Until now, it had always been one more appearance, one more record, one more song, one more tour, one more interview, one more movie - year after year after year.  On the surface, you were one of the most successful and sought-after musical artists of the past 10 years.  Coupled with your band’s success, your individual success had been nothing short of magical.  The drive and determination you possessed, alongside a bit of luck and (mostly) sensibility propelled you up to and through the insanity of stardom.  You always made sure you kept grounded and were full of gratitude, always keeping your humility intact. You had become, in the eyes of the entertainment world, the epitome of grace and etiquette under such scrutiny and pressure.  

On the flipside, you have been grappling with an overwhelming sense of despair and an ache deep within that you can almost taste since the moment the band made its decision.  

Now that this last performance was in the books (and it was an incredibly successful one at that), you sit in the backseat with your sullen thoughts as your driver navigates the SUV towards your Toronto home.  You glance over to your manager, Evelyn, and choke back a sob - your throat constricts and you bite your lip to try and will back the tears that threaten to fall.  

Evelyn's typical stoic demeanour softens for a moment, and she grabs your hand; she's well aware of what has gotten you in this state.  

You return to staring out the window; your mind replaying what you’ve sacrificed for your career and the fear of the unknown with your future.

The reality is that it's not what you've sacrificed, but whom.

It was when you saw William in the crowd tonight, surrounded by peers, teammates and countless beautiful women, the pit in your stomach formed.  You weren't prepared to see him and God, he looked better than anyone should ever be allowed to.

The pit grew as you saw him singing along to the songs sung by your voice.

It grew even more as you saw his eyes fixed on you perform alongside some NHL players and other hockey notables in attendance who came up on stage to sing their favourite songs with you - clearly fueled by the liquid courage that was in abundance at the event.

The pit became virtually unbearable as you saw him laughing and dancing with a beautiful girl that was not looking like anything plutonic.  At least not in the way she was clinging onto him.

It was no small feat to get through the rest of the night, performing and interacting with the crowd as effortlessly as you did.  Trying not to focus on the thought of him being close enough to breathe the same air as you.  If you glanced his way, you forced yourself to dismiss the idea that he was often stealing glances back at you, or the notion that perhaps he might still want you as much as you clearly still wanted him. You became a master at suppressing your feelings in the past and tonight was no exception.

It had been almost two years since you last saw or heard from William.  

At the start of September of 2019, you and William found yourselves yet again in a familiar place in life; William beginning another hockey season, single, after he and his girlfriend had parted ways during the summer and you returning to your home town of Toronto to visit loved-ones after a summer of festival performances and travelling.  

Your calendar was full with invitations to many high profile events in the city and your attendance always drew quite a crowd. As usual, you were attending all of the events alone which seemed to be mercilessly pointed out by every entertainment news correspondent that lined the red carpet.  William would catch a glimpse of you on TV as they showed you arriving at a film festival party or an exclusive restaurant, and soon thereafter, you'd receive a notification from him on your phone.

That is how it always started; a few sweet and flirty text messages, then a couple of phone calls and not long after, you and William would be tangled in the sheets of either your luxurious Toronto home or at his hi-rise condo that boasted an incredible view of the city.  It was such a natural and easy existence when you were together.  As overly sugary as it might sound to most, your insides felt like there were beams of sunshine that would radiate through your body from the sheer sight of him.  Somehow, you always felt calm and at peace in his presence.

Simply put, it always felt incredible spending time with him and it always brought out the best of you.  You felt happy and it was very apparent William felt that way too.

However, true to the pattern of the past few years, you would need to leave again, having to depart mid-way through October for an unknown period of time.  You had several performances booked throughout Europe, Asia, and Australia followed by more exclusive appearances for royalty and dignitaries around the world.  Leaving William throughout the years under these same circumstances only became increasingly difficult, leaving you both heart-sick for a time afterward.  Eventually you both would bounce back and resume life without too many broken-hearted thoughts about each other swirling around in your heads.  

You and he had often discussed trying a long-distance relationship, only for you to hold firm on your initial refusal.  You had always maintained it was not fair to him to have no say or input on when you could see one another.  You felt it was too much to ask someone as young as him to have to stand by and watch everyone around him celebrate with their significant others, or be consoled by them, while he has to go it alone.  He deserved to be in a relationship where both people were utterly devoted to one another; you desperately wanted to be that person but your contract obligations just kept stacking up against you and those circumstances were out of your control.

Once you had returned to London, sitting alone in the new opulent townhome you had just bought in Knightsbridge, you had made the decision on a dreary November evening in 2019, that it was time you fought for what you wanted; the man you had fallen in love with.  

Calculating the time difference, it was nearing dinner time in Toronto on William’s day off.  Barely able to contain your excitement, you sent William a text asking him to call you.  It wasn't long before your phone rang and the familiar picture of his jersey appeared on the screen.  Your excitement quickly dissipated once you answered; it was clear from his low, soft tone that this call was not going to be a happy one.  

Before even getting to your reason for wanting to talk, you had asked if he was ok.  He paused for a torturously long period of time and said he was not.  He explained that it had become too much for him after these past few years to be on this rollercoaster of being lovers (mostly secret lovers at that), for such short moments in time, only to have to watch you leave again and again and never being certain when you’d return.  He wanted to be able to give all of himself to another and up until that point, he had quietly kept a part of his heart solely for you.  To pour salt into an open wound, he finally added that the level of celebrity you had reached was not something he felt he could handle as the pressure of being inevitably thrust into an even bigger spotlight is not what he wanted in a relationship. 

An extreme ache travelled through your body.  You felt blindsided.  Perhaps it wasn't for the reasons that William rhymed off for wanting to essentially sever ties with you, but more that you had finally succumbed to your deep feelings of love for him and now it was too late.  Your heart completely shattered from his words as the visions of your future with him disintegrated into nothingness. 

William quietly apologized, his voice barely above a whisper. He said he had to go and hung up, never giving your brain a chance to catch up or for your voice to speak.

Once the call ended, the friendship you had with him ended.  In your mind, he became an apparition - nothing more than a figment of your imagination.  

The many memories that you had of the two of you together became too much to bear and with that, you clicked into total self-preservation mode.  You no longer followed him or his siblings on any social platform.  Aside from a select few, you limited your interactions with the Maple Leafs, many of whom you had become friends with over the years along with their significant others.  You wouldn’t watch game highlights or check scores - you untethered yourself from anything to do with William.

It was not long after that painful conversation that you heard William and a previous on-again/off-again girlfriend were back together.  It was exactly what you expected, which was of little comfort.  The heartache you felt was profound and rather than giving yourself time to grieve or heal or whatever you needed to do, you allowed the loss of his existence in your life to harden you.  Save from your close friendships and your family, you no longer cared about the love aspect of a normal human life.  

Between rehearsals for your tour, you threw yourself into writing music; sitting for hours on end in your state of the art recording studio on the lower level of your home. Up until that point, you had a massive catalogue of songs that, at the very least, uplifted people.  The message of your songs had now transitioned to loss.  The record execs salivated with each song you presented - dollar bills in their eyes  given the huge music market for words rife with longing and regret.  Even the accompanying music you created held the same vibe; music that would make the hardest person want to weep.  As time went on, your songs were released under the guise of other popular singers.  The releases were wildly successful which further catapulted your reputation into the stratosphere, being deemed as one of the most talented songwriters in current time.  With all the notoriety, you found it difficult to embrace the new heights in popularity and monetary gain, given that it was all based on the inner turmoil of someone that felt as broken as you did.

There was a domino effect with shutting down the pleasure side of life; your once effervescent personality was replaced with forced smiles and you were noticeably disengaged in conversation.  The change in your demeanour didn’t go unnoticed with your circle of friends. Forever begging you to come out before you departed on the first leg of your tour, your friends tried to rally around you, nearly breaking down the double doors to your home to let them in.  

Even the rare times you relented and allowed them to drag you to all the exclusive clubs that dotted London’s Soho and other districts close by, you ended up drinking little and leaving early.  

Despite how you felt, you always looked exquisite, dressing in elegant attire that perfectly accentuated your shapely figure, and hair and makeup that were magazine worthy.  Other than writing and recording music, dressing up was one of the few things that surprisingly made you feel better, even if it was for a fleeting moment.  

The good feelings were often chased away as a result of the jeers and catcalling which inevitably started from the snobby and ill-mannered men that occupied space at each club.  What these men had in money, from their aristocratic lineage or otherwise, they lacked in every trait you valued.  If it didn’t make you feel ill first, it made you seethe with rage with their greasy, vulgar, drunken comments about what they would do to you if they got you alone.  After berating them for their tastelessness, and saying apologetic goodbyes to your friends, you would leave to go home.  The rage that coursed through your body would then dial down to frustration which would then lead to a pit of sadness.  

Washing the night off in your oversized bathtub, you started to sob.  Tears streamed down your face forming tributaries along your cheeks to your jawline before dissolving in the hot bath water.  You missed William totally and completely.  His friendship.  His laugh.  His face.  His touch. The way he felt under you or on top of you.  The way he looked so disheveled when he’d first wake up.  The taste of his tongue against yours. When he teased you of how badly you suck at every video game you tried.  The list of things you missed about William felt endless.  You were certain, more than ever now, if you were to ever try to love again, you would have to settle for someone that was a distant second to him.  That thought broke you even more.   

As the days leading to the end of 2019 grew shorter, and weather more miserable, your mood and thoughts about William changed, seemingly adopting the climate that surrounded you.  You started to convince yourself that perhaps the feelings you and he shared weren’t really real; perhaps he had been wheeling you since you met.  Your thoughts continued to darken when you realized you were likely nothing more to him than just a convenience when he was in between relationships; he used you like a disposable girlfriend…once you would leave for your next project, he was totally free to move on to someone else.  For all you knew, maybe you were amongst a string of girls he was wheeling.  It would not be unheard of.

More and more you pieced the puzzle of your own design together. He couldn’t have loved you -  even though he admitted that he did when you were in his arms last.  Once you had whispered the same to him, it was like floodgates opening with the words “I love you” that flowed effortlessly between you.  You told each other every chance you had during that last blip of time together.  

You resumed the previous thought.  He couldn’t have loved you to only turn around and cut you off the way he did, a mere month later.  

Once the tour began, the moment came when you all but discarded the loving feelings you once had for William and forced out the amazing memories.  You continued to captivate audiences around the world with your powerful songs and incredible voice. Images and videos of you being celebrated for your beauty and elegance were in continuous rotation on every social media platform.  Leading up to award season, your name was on repeat for several music award nominations. You graced a number of red carpet events and attended after parties, always looking ravishing as you engaged in chats with interviewers and stopped to take pictures with other celebrities and onlookers.

Your mind snapped back to reality as the SUV pulled up to and through the security gate of your sprawling Toronto home.  You thanked the driver and Evelyn politely asked him to wait for her, and you and Evelyn disappeared into the house.

You stood in the front foyer for a moment, soaking in the fact that this is where you’ll be hanging your hat, both literally and figuratively, until you decide where you truly want to be.  As beautiful of a house as you had here in this city, you knew it would take a lot more than an exquisite interior to make it feel like a home.  All you wanted was for your home to be filled with love and laughter and family and friends.  

“Why don’t you just head straight to bed…you look like you’re ready to collapse” Evelyn said, picking up your small suitcase and walking toward your master bedroom on the main floor.  

You ran your hands gently over your face, trying to stimulate enough alertness to respond.

“Very good idea…God, I’m just beyond.  I think I may end up sleeping for 2 days straight” you said. 

The adrenaline that surges through your body during your performances is a feeling like no other, but you knew the downside to that was utter exhaustion after the fact. 

The welcome sight of your large California King bed took hold, and you immediately stripped down to your bra and panties, and slipped between the crisp cotton sheets, pulling the overstuffed duvet up over your shoulders.  Evelyn continued bringing in a few more of your belongings into the bedroom, all the while, you could already feel yourself sinking into the mattress and the urge to sleep was taking hold.

“Thank you Evelyn…for everything.  I don’t know what it’s going to be like not to see you almost every day”.  Your eyes welled up with tears, your throat tight with emotion.  

“I’m going to LA, not Mars…all you need to do is call.  You just remember - we made an incredible team, and that was just as much you as it was me.  Evelyn paused.  “You have been such a gift to my life.”  and she leaned over to kiss the top of your head.    

“Call me soon and let me know how it’s going with your new act” you yawned, and started to drift off.

“Do you want me to turn your phone off?” Knowing the answer already, she didn’t wait for a response….you had fallen asleep already anyway.

Evelyn grabs your phone from the charger and sees text notifications on the lock screen.

Knowing your passcode, she bypasses the biometric prompt and the home screen appears.

Evelyn realized your phone had been on do not disturb for quite some time.  She taps the message icon and sees a familiar name as the sender.

The first text is short, sent earlier that night.

Hey - it’s William Hoping to get a chance to talk when you have a min

Then there’s a second text sent a little while after the first:

Are you still here?

Then lastly:

K - well.  I hope you’re staying in TO for a bit.  Would like to see you.

Evelyn looks over at you, sound asleep, and considers the options.

Ignore the messages, turn off your phone and leave it for you to decide on how to handle it once you’ve got some rest.

Text William back on your behalf to at least let him know you’re home and to try back in a day or two

Wake you up to show you the messages.

Given your current peaceful resting state, and knowing you like virtually no other, Evelyn is aware that waking you up now would only unleash a rabid and maniacal beast - and she wanted no part in that.

Just as she considers shutting the phone off, the words “Incoming Call” appear with “Ny88” underneath.

Evelyn stares at the caller for a moment and then picks up.  

“Hello, Y/N’s phone”

“Um - Hi…this is William, a friend of Y/N.  I was trying to get a hold of her for a couple of hours…I was just, uh…worried”.  William’s voice trails off

“Hi William, it’s Evelyn…not sure if you remember me; we met a few years ago.  Y/N’s back home now - sorry, she had her phone on do not disturb. Not sure why.” Evelyn confesses.  “But she was knackered and is asleep now….I think you know the drill with her after she comes off after a concert” Evelyn laughs.

“Oh, right - yes…hey Evelyn.  Yeah - I remember…she’s down for the count afterwards” William chuckles.  “Well, I was hoping to bump into her tonight after the show but it seems like she was surrounded the entire time.” 

Evelyn paused, unsure of exactly how much she should convey to William.

“I know it’s been awhile; she would have liked to have seen you, I’m sure.”

There was further silence, and remembering she had a flight to catch, Evelyn tried to speed up the conversation.  “Do you want me to leave her a message for her to call you when she wakes up?

“Fuck…that'll be days” William muttered under his breath, suddenly realizing Evelyn may have heard.  “Sorry…shit…scratch that, '' he said nervously.  "I…I just really was hoping to see her or talk with her tonight, but I guess that's not possible" he said, defeated.

Evelyn looks down at you sleeping.  She recalls the car ride home, you flushed and wrought with emotion as the memories you suppressed of William came flooding back.  She watched you during the intermissions of tonight's performance hiding away in the dressing area, trying to keep your shit together after seeing William in the crowd.  She had seen you at your highest highs over the years when you and William were able to spend time together and at your lowest low after he ended it. 

You finally have the time now, she thought - so it's go time…now or fucking never.

"I've got to catch a flight, so I'm leaving straight away.  If I give you the security codes to get in, I can trust you that she'll be in good hands, right William?" Evelyn paused before finishing with "Because so help me God William, if I hear of anything to the contrary, you do not want to see my other side."

“I’m leaving now” William says with a rushed tone and hangs up before Evelyn has a chance to respond.

[tarotbydelilah444]

Happy Libra season to you all. Libra season is officially upon us and it’s the perfect time to get things in balance and romanticize your life. The sign of Libra loves and values balance and equality, and absolutely detest anything that disrupts their idea of peace, beauty, balance, and harmony. What is area of your life is Libra season demanding balance and harmony? How can you romanticize your life and make it aesthetically appealing? This is also a great time for you to seek out balance when it comes you your partnerships, whether they are platonic or romantic by addressing any issues that could be affecting your relationships with others through honesty and fairness, or could it be time for to cut ties with people, places, and situations that no longer servers your highest good? Pick a pile for a message for Libra season and don’t forget to like, comment, and share this post, if it resonates. As always sending you love and light 🤍✨

- Delilah

pile one • opal

self-care message • Be still 

affirmations • “I am grateful” • “I am powerful” 

oracle • deer | Bring gentleness and grace in every aspect of your life.

Your messages for Libra season seem to be asking you to take a moment to be still and anchor yourself in the present moment. For some, you could avoid sitting with your feelings and thoughts, maybe because it may make you feel uncomfortable or you simply don’t have the time to put aside for yourself to get back in tune with you. You are being asked to tune out the distractions and noises for the duration of this season, and put time aside to sit with your inner thoughts and feelings to fully process and let them go. Stop running and hiding from the things that are currently bothering you and face these issues head on, but also remember to give yourself grace because you are only human. Try practicing gratitude and be grateful for all the things that you have in your life and congratulate yourself for all things you have been able to overcome and the person that you have become or becoming. 

health | queen of swords • two of pentacles • wisdom 

As stated above, you guys could be repressing your emotions and thoughts that it is / or will eventually begin to take a toll on your physical health. Some of you could be also be dealing with stress because you have too many things are your plate at the moment that you are trying to juggle, but you are being asked to slow down and take a real break from all the madness and retreat. It’s time to reprioritize yourself for a change and focus on self-care. Ask yourself, if you have been taken care of yourself and valuing your needs, or have you been neglecting yourself and disregarding your needs. If you are having health issues or concerns, this is a great time to make appointments and consult with a healthcare professional to help get your health on track. Everything is a balance, so make sure that you are taking on as much as you can without overworking yourself to the bone.

love | the high priestess • the star • attraction • admiration • communication • new love 

For the singles, you can expect new love to be making its way into your life pretty soon. This will likely be a telepathic / karmic relationship that you will be entering into. You and this person will be strongly and strangely attracted to one another, not only on a physical level, but on an emotional and spiritual level. This connection could bring back some faith in love, if you thought that you would never love again or find someone special that loves, cares, respect, and speaks your language, now you don’t have to search no further because this connection is coming in and will be a wish come true and a healing experience. For those in relationships, I see that you and your partner may go a baecation. This is a great opportunity to spice up and deepen the connection and get some alone time with your person away from life worries. If things have been a bit shaken within the connection, I see that you and your partner will be able to overcome the obstacles or issues and realizing all the reason for why you two love one another and want to fight for this connection.

career & finances | seven of wands • ten of cups • crossroads • intentions • “I trust the process”

In terms of finances, your finances will be improving and you will experience abundance like you never imagined, just be patient and trust the process because things will be getting better pretty soon. Now when it comes to career, I see that you are at a crossroad or feeling indecisive about what your next move is going to be regarding your career. You could deal with some competition in the workplace or people that are vying for your position, but you are being asked to remain focus and keep your eyes on the prize at all times because things can switch up in a heartbeat, so it’s important to keep your cool and stay vigilant and alert. For others, you guys may be indecisive or at crossroads because something may go against you values or something may feel off, and you are being asked to follow your intuition and take a stand and make your intentions clear, if anything doesn’t align with your values or morals. I think some of you may be considering finding another job that will not only bring you financial gain, but bring a sense of happiness, support, and emotional fulfillment. 

overall energy | the world • “I am powerful” • celebration 

Be ready to have everything working out in your favor. Libra season is bringing you gifts and blessings from the divine and you are being asked to celebrate and step into this brand new cycle that awaits you with confidence and willingness. Celebrate all your accomplishments whether it’s small or big because you made it to the finish line, even when things weren’t always easy, but now you don’t not to worry or question anything anymore because it is your time to shine. Be proud of yourself. For some you could be celebrating your birthday and you are steeping into a new cycle in your life and making some new and exciting changes in your life as you mature. Side note, some of you may even find yourself traveling and exploring the world. The world is yours. 

channeled messages |

Asia, London, full moon in Virgo or Libra, 888, baecation, loyal, bad health, doctor, undecided, improvements in finances, “ the songs I listen to remind me of you”, created a playlist, Aquarius, Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Pisces, Cancer, Gemini, and Libra

pile two • rose quartz

self-care message • music

affirmations • “I am intelligent” • “Everything is working out in my favor.”

oracle • discovery | Reawaken your sense of discovery and expedition.

Your messages for Libra season is to get out a discover the world around you. This is a great time for you to exit your comfort zone and try something new and exciting. Is there a specific place that you have yet visit or discovered on your own? Sometimes we need to learn how to leave our comfort zone and do things that may seem uncomfortable, if we want to have a good time and you are being encouraged to do that exact thing during Libra season. Get out and go meet people, catch up with old friends, travel abroad or locally around your area, and do something that you never have tried before because it will end up being the best experience of your life, but you won’t know until you give it a shot. 

health | seven of swords • king of wands • destiny 

Be careful of putting yourself in danger when it comes to your health, or doing things that could  negatively affect your well-being. For some, you could or have experienced a health scare and you are being asked to monitor your health very closely and seek out a second opinion, if you are concerned with your health and well-being. For others, you are being asked to take better care of your health and stop avoiding prioritizing your well-being, if something doesn’t feel right, you shouldn’t just ignore the problem and hope that it goes away because sooner or later, it will become a bigger problem that cannot be ignored or avoided. It’s better to act now than wait for later. Your health and wellbeing is your priority and responsibility. You are also being asked to take a beat, if you have been overdoing it or pushing yourself beyond your limits. The universe wants you to slow down and prioritize yourself, so in order to get your attention, you had to experience a health scare or roadblock to get you to relax and rest. Remember to take it easy and you will be back to normal in no time. 

love | three of swords • knight of swords • trust • fertility • creativity 

For some, you could have recently going through a breakup or some sort of disappointment in love. You are currently going through a lot pain and sadness right now and you may be thinking that things won’t get better or you will never be able to heal and move on, but you will, it will take some time before you can heal and move on. Try talking to someone that you trust to help you through this difficult process, it won’t heal all your problems, but it can at least make you feel better. This person that could’ve broken your heart could have betrayed you or ghosted you unexpectedly, but this person seems to want to come back to make amends with you and rectify the situation. This person tried to forget about you and move on from this connection, but they realized how much they still have feelings for you and they are trying to figure how to contact you, but they are afraid of your reaction. The choice is yours if you want to invite this person back into your life, but this situation will require a lot of patient, effort and trust, if you decide to take them back. Trust your intuition, when in doubt and trust that you are loved and will find love again. For those in relationships, there could be some issues within your relationships that needs to addressed and resolved if you and your partner still want this connection to work. Miscommunication, disagreements, and arguments could be currently affecting this relationship and you and your partner need to be open and honest with each other and decide what is the next course of action going forward. There is potential to fix this situation, but it will take some strength, determination, and realization of what this connection means to you and your person to overcome these challenges. 

career and finances | knight of pentacles • ten of swords (rx) • challenges • fertility • “I can try again until I get it right” 

In terms of your finances, I see that you may receive some unexpected income after a string of bad investments or if money has been a little stagnant for a while. You are being asked to be patient and not focus too much of your energy on the when, where, and how, and just be grateful for the abundance that is about to come your way. In terms of career, some of you may be in the fashion or medical industry, and it has posed some challenges in you path, but you are being asked to preserve and keep working towards the goals that you have and to not give up. You may having been receiving a lot of no’s or have been recently denied for something, but I see things will eventually turn around in your favor and you will begin to receive more “yes” and more opportunities will be coming your way very soon, just stay consistent and determined as you are getting closer to reaching your goals. Remember that achieving success is not linear and it can be an uncomfortable journey that require lots of sacrifice and hard work, but you will be able to achieve everything that you ever hoped for. Turn the impossible to possibilities. For others, if you have been thinking about leaving a job behind, this may be your chance to wrap up loose ends and have a back up plan before completely leaving your current job behind. There will be better opportunities and out there if you are worried what will happen if you leave your current job. You are being advised not to worry because everything will go in your favor.

overall energy  | two of wands • “ I follow and honor my intuition” • growth 

You are being challenged to step outside of your comfort zone for a change because this is the only way you can achieve real and positive growth. Where do you see yourself in the next couple of months, a year from now, or even five years from now? What are the things that you want to accomplish that has been on your mind nonstop? Trust and listen to your intuition as you embark on this new journey, as it will lead you the best opportunities.

channeled messages |

denied, fashionista, “I still love you”, 666, 444, “ you are loved”, med school, unexpected income, bad investment, confident, “ I want to reach out, but I am afraid”, “I try to forget about you”, “ I am walking in the possible, travel, Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius, Aries, Aquarius, Libra, and Gemini 

pile three • amazonite 

self-care messages • dance

affirmations • “I encourage myself” • “I love my body”

oracle • heart • believe in your heart that you are meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic, and miracles.

Your message for Libra season is to be kind to yourself and show yourself more love. You are being asked to stop being so critical of yourself and give yourself grace. Similar to pile one, you need to learn how to give yourself more grace and compassion because you are only human and you deserve all the love in the world, but more specifically with yourself. Learning how to accept and love yourself is a hard thing to do, but it’s not an impossible task to do. You are not perfect and you shouldn’t always strive for perfection because it is an illusion, so what is holding you back from fully loving and accepting yourself even the parts of you that you may find imperfect. How can show more love and acceptance to these areas without shame and suppressing them  into your subconscious. [TW] For some of you, you could deal with body dysmorphia, low self-esteem, and/or dealing with an eating disorder that could make you feel this way about yourself and I’m here to tell you that you… the person/people that picked this pile are beautiful in every way and you don’t need to change a damn thing about yourself because you are everything and more. This is a perfect time to address and comfort these issues that may be keeping you from showing compassion to yourself. It is a great time to start listening to subliminals or podcasts about body positivity, self love, or anything that can help boost your self confidence, wear something sexy or stripped down into your birthday suit and tap into your divine feminine energy, read affirmations to yourself, or even try therapy to help you love yourself unconditionally. 

health | the hermit (rx) • the knight of wands (rx) • gratitude 

You could be dealing with some mental health issues that are currently affecting your life. It is important for you to take a step back and try not overdo it at this time and be patient with yourself. This is a good time to freshen up things and create a routine for yourself, if things have currently have thrown off balance. Try exercising, getting out in nature to ground, eating healthy foods, meditating, or yoga to help you get back on track by prioritizing your mental health first and foremost. Focus on finding time to just relax and staying focus on the present moment. Practicing gratitude can help you stay grateful for the things that you currently have instead of things that you don’t have.

love | knight of swords • seven of pentacles • past-life relationships• destiny

You guys have a past life connection about to enter into your life very soon, like they are coming in quick, but you are being asked to continue to focus on yourself and not concern yourself when and how this person will enter into your life by the universe. This connection was divinely orchestrated by the divine, so you were always meant to come together with this person in this lifetime to learn lessons and to help each other grow. The universe is proud that you have been patient and taking care of yourself that they are blessing with a connection that you have been patiently waiting for. This is also a warning to you to not rush anything in this connection, make sure that you are taking things at a slow and steady pace with this person, if you and this person wants this relationship to work out in the end. Also, make sure that you and this person make your intentions clear to each other and communicate honestly and efficiently to resolve any issues.  career & finances | six of wands • the star • “I deserve the f*cking world” • windfall

You are about to receive so much recognition and success in terms of your career, if you haven’t already. There is a possibility to for you even receive a promotion. For some, you are destined to be well-known and in the public eye in some shape or form, or if you always wanted to showcase your talents to the world, it is meant to be known and shared with the world. You are meant to do something related to physical appearance or beauty, so maybe an influencer, body positivity coach, content creator, or modeling, either way it goes, you are meant to be the center of attention and have complete control over your career. It will bring a lot of recognition and riches in the near future, if you play your cards right. In terms of finances, if you dealt with financial struggles or money was a bit stagnant for a minute, then it will all be unexpectedly improving very soon or you could be coming up with innovative and creative ways of making money. This is also a great time for you to invest your money into something because it could have a favorable outcome in the end and increase your money tenfold.

overall message | eight of wands • love • “My aura is glowing”

You will be in high demand during Libra season, so prepare for lots of attention and exciting moments to occur during Libra season. So many people will be attracted to your energy, but make sure to protect your energy against those that may not want the best for you. You are being encouraged to have some fun and let your hair down to fully enjoy the moment. Embrace the opportunities that are coming you way because your life is about to change in an exciting way.  channeled messages | Lilith, unexpected bills, next year, 11th house, undecided, Africa, complex, good investment, 1st house, financially secured, thirst traps, only fans, traveling, unexpected income, “I am standing in my power”, Leo, Aquarius, Libra, Gemini, Virgo, Aries, and Sagittarius 

Decks | The Light Seer’s Tarot • The Soft Life Oracle • Cosmic Gypsy Oracle • Romance Angels Oracle Cards