#experience for a while because i have a lingering feeling like nothing really happens until the synopsis (which is supposes to be the

[kashilascorner]

I think books official synopsis should only include things that happen very early on the book (I also think all books should include a shnopsis on the back cover or on the jacket or anywhere)

[star-girl69]

Because Of You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: years after your rite of passage, the boy who’s heart you broke just won’t leave you alone. clarisse, your girlfriend, quickly decides she’s not a fan.

a/n: should i stop procrastinating and then forcing myself to write shitty fics quickly? probably. but not today!! this is kinda just like an au of dont delete the kisses but… you guessed it… IDC!!!!!!!! from this ask

thank you all so much for patiently waiting i love y’all soooooo muuccchhhhhh 🫶🫶💋 as i mentioned on my acc i have the next week off from school, pls expect more content then!!

Because Of You - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, this sucks so bad y’all sorry lolllll, y/n is a year round camper!, starts out very background heavy but i really don’t care 😭, creepy men UGH, ugly bitches not being able to let shit go, im gonna say sexual harassment just incase, swearing, usual demigod stuff y’all know what you’re getting into, jealous!clarisse YESSS, possessive!clarisse ik i screamed!!, protective!clarisse too, slightly graphic makeout scene, i think that’s all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

When you were young, you were thrilled by the thought of love.

The idea of belonging not only with someone- bodies fitting together like puzzles pieces- but belonging to someone- wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Later, your half-siblings would describe mostly similar experiences to yours- an overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, needed. Ever since you ran into camp with a monster hot on your heels and satyr shouting encouragement next to you- everyone’s stared at you. They poke and prod, they act like they’ve never seen a daughter of Aphrodite before.

It’s annoying, but it makes you feel good- but not quite.

Until Alek came along.

You were both 13, you still believed in soulmates, and you wanted nothing more than to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

You were 13, and he felt like the only one for you.

And when you had to break up with him to fulfill your rite of passage- it felt like the world was ending. You cried for days and begged your sister Phoebe to say it wasn’t a true, it was just a mean, mean prank.

But she couldn’t tell you that, and there were more types of love that romantic.

While you longed to hold someone, to be held- you also craved your mother’s approval like you were starving. You wanted her love, you wanted her to visit you in your dreams, you wanted gifts from her, you wanted everything and anything she could give you.

So, it hurt like you had never known hurt before, but you did it. Alek seemed entirely indifferent to it, almost ignoring you and pretending you hadn’t said it- but you felt a warmness around you, a dove flew between trees, you knew your mother was there and she approved.

Breaking up with Alek felt like the sun had exploded on top of you.

Being with Clarisse felt like the sun was wrapped around you.

—-

After Alek’s initial denial, he went through all the other stages of grief, mourned your relationship like you did, and you came out on the other side with a one-sided agreement to forget it ever happened.

Alek got stuck. Or went back. He started to believe that you were still meant to be, that much you could tell.

Until that day at the training fields when your hand slipped at archery and you almost shot Clarisse in the head- and she had glared at you so harshly while you ran over and examined her head, gushing out apologies and fretting over her.

She pushed you away, hand lingering for a second, eyes softening before she quickly looked away.

“Just… be more careful,” she had said, almost like a question, like she wasn’t sure the words were coming out of her mouth.

And, Gods, were you terrified it was all some secret plan. Make you think it was alright only to corner you in the woods and probably kill you, or something.

And when she asked the next day to teach you how to shoot a bow, you agreed with tears in your eyes, knowing of her reputation, and it took a lot of trust and a lot of swapped secrets for her to prove to you it wasn’t all some elaborate plan.

But even if her plan was to kill you the entire time, you fell in love over her fixing your stance, hands brushing as you accidentally grabbed the same arrow, stolen looks across the pavilion.

It wasn’t until a random kid bumped into you, making you fall and twist your ankle. Clarisse had this look in her eyes that was so genuine, so full of love and care for you, softly caressing your leg after she had punched the other kid in the face.

And you realize as she said you were doing great, limping while she helped you to the infirmary, that this was something.

And as much as you hated the violence being committed over you, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, and the warmth in your chest was all you had ever wanted. This was what it was like to belong with someone, to someone, with her, to her.

This was what it was like to be admired. Loved. Wanted. Needed.

And when she softly told you goodbye, you had kissed the corner of her lips and thanked her- turning to walk into your cabin, ankle already feeling better thanks to the ambrosia.

She grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around, pulling you against her tightly and kissing you so harshly like she had just found the secret to the world in her lips on yours, her hands on your hips.

And when she finally pulled away, embarrassing strings of spit connecting your lips, she said she was sorry. Probably the first time she had ever said that to someone, and you smiled.

“Sorry. It’s just… once your lips were on mine, I don’t think I can ever stop. I don’t wanna stop.”

And she kissed you again and it was all you ever wanted out of this life- to love and be loved, to hold and to be held, and it was all because of her.

—-

The welcome back campfire is your favorite time of year.

It’s when the camp comes alive, when the Gods themselves seem to return to this place- even Mr. D is a bit more lively with all the pure infectious energy running through the first few days of camp. Everyone’s getting settled, classes haven’t started quite yet, and the year round campers get a much needed break.

As much as you and Clarisse wanted to keep things private, when she punches someone in the middle of the pavilion for accidentally bumping into you, it’s not hard to figure out Clarisse cares for you more than she does anyone else.

And after one of your younger siblings, Cara, a 12-year-old notorious for staying up late, saw you and Clarisse kissing that first night- it spread like wildfire.

But it was the winter, so it still felt secret, until summer rolled around and Clarisse kept getting more and more annoyed by every camper who entered the gates. She would grab at you in the middle of meals, drag you into her bed, even kiss you in public- do all these things that seemed so out of character for her, but she was a different person when she was with you.

Everyone had been looking at you oddly all night, shocked, confused, even Clarisse has cracked a genuine smile at someone who dropped their drink- squeezing your hand.

Maybe they had all heard the rumors. Maybe they didn’t believe them.

But it’s all cleared up when Clarisse leads you to the best seat, the log not too far from the fire but not too close, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your temple.

Your cheeks heat up, only because Clarisse is never this touchy in public, and never around this many people before.

All of the eyes on you feel weird- they feel so judging.

And you’re not used to that, however vain it may be.

“Everyone’s staring at us,” you mumble, shuffling closer to Clarisse so your legs are pressed together.

She leans her head against your shoulder. “‘S okay. Don’t worry about ‘em, baby.”

You huff. “Did no one ever teach them it’s rude to stare, though? Like… c’mon.”

She sighs dramatically, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“Stop fuckin’ staring,” she says. Not quiet shouting, but her voice is loud and forceful. Her voice carries weight.

And eventually, at the risk of Clarisse’s wrath, all the wandering eyes stop.

A few of Clarisse’s siblings laugh from around you, commenting that the stares were getting a bit ridiculous, everyone just grateful that you all might get a little reprieve from the overwhelming stares and whispers.

But, you still feel uneasy. Clarisse kisses your shoulder.

And while you look around at the faces very pointedly not staring at you, there’s one person who still is. You roll your eyes, open your mouth to comment on it- but your mouth quickly snaps close at the sight of Alek.

—-

You don’t mention it to Clarisse. Maybe because breaking his heart haunts you, maybe what could have been haunts you.

You try not to think of Alek or that night, you try not to think of the entire age of 13. You always knew that Alek never quite let you go. He still sort of believed that the two of you would come back together- subscribing to some abstract belief soulmates.

You don’t think about Alek. Everything you do is because of her, because of Clarisse.

Sometimes, knowing you have secret admirers makes you feel all happy, but now that Clarisse sneaks you into her cabin every night- it makes you feel weird. You really don’t want anyone except for Clarisse, the idea of even being near someone else kinda disgusts you.

But, you choose to believe that maybe he was just shocked, and he’ll get over it in a few days.

You spend your days in the summer sun with Clarisse, holding her hand on walks through the strawberry fields, still using your archery lessons to spend time together, staring at each other from across the pavilion at meals, dreaming about a future together when it gets dark and you’re forced to whisper softly.

Alek is just always lurking. Is it coincidence? Is he stalking you? Every time you’re with Clarisse, trying to enjoy a nice date, he’s there- staring at you like a lovesick puppy.

And if it wasn’t because of her, you would probably be flattered. But you have Clarisse, you’ve moved on, you’re in love and happy.

It’s the late afternoon, you’re trying to enjoy a long moment with her, breathe in the sweet smell and just feel how happy you are, know it’s because of her.

The fields are still crowded with kids who pushed off their chores until the end of the day, so you and Clarisse stay on the outskirts. Not too far into the woods that’s filled with satyrs and nymphs who have grown very hostile towards any two campers who make their way into the woods. But not too close.

You don’t even register that other people are there. You’re going on about your annoying half-brother, she’s pretending to listen intently- but it’s just enough to be here with her, and at least she’s listening to the sound of your voice. At least that brings her some comfort, and that makes you feel good.

“And then, he said-” you trail off, feeling like something’s crawling all over you, practically being able to feel the anger in the air.

“Hm, what?” Clarisse asks, snapping out of her reverie at your silence.

Alek is glaring at you, of course. It just feels so juvenile. You had received letters from him for years- ones that he didn’t sign- but you knew. He said that the two of you had so much more to give together, that a second chance was all he needed to make you forget about the rite of passage, about pleasing your mother.

Clarisse squeezes your hand, leaning closer to you.

You used to like the feeling of getting those letters, of knowing you were loved and wanted. But now, with Clarisse, because of her- it feels wrong.

She follows your eye line and Alek quickly looks away, back down at the strawberries he’s supposed to be picking.

Clarisse’s hand tightens around yours.

“Who the hell is that?” she huffs.

You suck in a breath. “Alek.”

“Al-huh?”

You smile, despite how uneasy you feel.

“Alek, Clarisse. From my rite of passage?”

“Oh,” she nods, nose scrunching ever so slightly. “The one who left you those creepy letters? Has he left anymore?”

“No, no,” you say, risking one more glance at his back- just to assure yourself. Maybe you’re just making it all up. “Not since last summer. I mean, he was staring at us the night of the bonfire too, he’s always around on all our dates- it’s just creepy, at this point.”

“Sounds like the fucker has a death wish,” she drawls. “I’d be happy to help him with it.”

You bump her shoulder with yours. “Yeah, yeah Miss Violence.”

She smiles back, but she searches her eyes and you can tell she doesn’t like what she sees.

“Hey, c’mon. I’ll kill him if he pulls some shit again.”

“Clarisse.”

“Beat him up?”

“Clarisse.”

“Physically threaten him?”

“Clar-”

She smacks her hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” she smiles. “Don’t stress. I’ll take care of it.”

“Clarisse!” you shout, laughing, but her hand is still pressed tight over your moth.

“Oh, sorry, baby, I can’t hear you!”

“Bitch,” you hiss, and she frowns.

“Mean.”

—-

Clarisse, unfortunately, is true to her word.

Alek finally leaves you a note. It’s simple, unsigned, but obviously him. You recognize his chicken scratch scrawl.

All it says is:

I miss you, we could be something

She writes him a note back, a long one- first talking about all of her accomplishments as a daughter of Ares, then detailing all the ways she’ll make him regret thinking about you.

She tells you now, whispers in her bed, she laughs and your mouth hangs open.

“Clarisse!” you gasp, scolding her with a soft hit to her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes and moves closer to you.

“What else was I supposed to do? Ignore it? You don’t know me if you think I could just ignore some random dude flirting with my girlfriend. He’s a fuckin’ weirdo, and hopefully that note will teach him somethin’.”

“I mean. I doubt it will,” you mumble after a moment.

She smiles, your heart squeezes- because her smile is so beautiful- and because Clarisse never smiles like this. It’s bloodthirsty. It’s almost inhuman. It’s Godly.

“Then I’ll have to teach him in… other terms.”

—-

Dinner this evening is slow and relaxed. It’s Friday, so you’ve all made it to the end of the first official week of camp. Chiron let’s the rules fade away tonight, cabin tables have been abandoned and everyone sits where they want.

A few Hermes kids volunteered to start a fire, Mr D is busy trying to get the new kids to sneak him some alcohol- but he’s hard pressed to find ones who haven’t already been warned not to.

The energy in the air is infectious. The promise of a late wake up tomorrow, a fun night, the feeling of the moon and the fire, warmth on your skin- it’s a recipe for lowered inhibitions, for everything to come a little easier.

Clarisse sits next to you a table in the pavilion. You’re surrounded by Silena and Beckendorf, a few Hermes kids, a few Ares kids- a big mosh of random campers squeezed together at this one table- but it works, for whatever reason.

There’s nothing like laughing at someone’s shitty joke and feeling Clarisse laugh with you, pressed close to her so you can feel her chest rumble, feel her arm squeeze around you.

“He did what?!” Silena screeches, looking at you with wide eyes.

You laugh at her shock, at the audacity of Alek.

She sneaks a quick glance at Clarisse, who seems entirely engrossed in her siblings’ arm wresting tournament at the next table over.

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling sort of complacent with it now. It’s not like anything will change. You’re here because of her, because of Clarisse. Everything you do is because of her.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. Basic human functions and the need to survive has only strengthened with the motivation of staying alive for her.

“Anyways,” you smile. “Clarisse left him back this big, long note. All about how she’s the strongest girl at camp,” you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too big to be anything but joking. Besides, everyone knows she’s probably right. “And then threatened him a whole bunch. So, hopefully, he’ll just get his head out of his ass and then everything will be good again.”

You breathe out at the end of your small rant, and Silena smiles sympathetically.

“Hopefully,” she echoes.

But, because of Clarisse, because of her arms around you, you don’t feel anything but peace.

—-

Of course, life is not straightforward for demigods.

At the end of the day, you’re doomed to fall in your parents footsteps- except there is no immortality for you to fall back on. You’re vain and you’re proud, just like your parents, and you step too far, jump too high, and you’re as left dust on the floor.

Even though the same path had been left out for you to repeat, doomed footsteps to follow in, you step where they stepped and expect a different end.

The night is pitch black, besides for the brilliant stars and the bright, bright moon. It makes everything feel so private and secret. It makes Clarisse relax, makes her hold you closer but looser.

It feels good to feel her arm loose around you. She’s not afraid of you disappearing, because she knows of someone dragged you away you would rise up from the waves and straight back into her, into her arms.

The Apollo kids are playing music, voices hum along, the night is on fire with the crackles and the rising smoke, on fire with the peace, the content.

It feels like nothing can hurt you here.

But you’re a demigod, and life is not that easy.

The seat next to you is abandoned, and you barely even take notice as it’s quickly filled again- but you take notice of the eyes on you, of the body leaning forward to speak softly to you.

The fact that he’s here, the fact that he blatantly didn’t listen- you suppose you could have felt some sympathy for before, craving a life that wasn’t his anymore. Living off of memories made him too hungry.

Your mouth presses into a thin line as you recognize the voice in your ear.

“Y/N, I jus’ wanna talk.”

The rest of the table has fallen silent, and you realize everyone had almost immediately taken notice of his entrance- and you could tell by the way Clarisse’s body was tense against yours- he would regret ever coming over here.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, shifting closer to her.

She hooks her head over her shoulder, shifting completely so she’s straddling the bench, pressed up against your back.

Her tone is genuinely confused.

“Are you, like, okay in the head?”

The table, previously silent with fear, now bubbles with forced laughter.

“It’s not of your business,” Alek says, staring directly into your eyes. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, just completely shocked, too scared to move like it will all become real.

Clarisse puts her hand on your forehead and floats it down across your face, and your eyes voluntarily flutter shut.

“You’re not even worthy of being looked at by her,” and you can hear the smile on her voice. She confidence seeping from her pores- you can feel it all with the way she’s protectively wrapped around you.

“Y/N,” he says again, ignoring her through gritted teeth. “I just want to talk.”

“If you say one more fuckin’ word to my girlfriend I’m gonna kill you.”

There’s no smile on her voice, no edge of a joke. Not even angry. She’s deathly calm. She’s focused, like a 20 pound weight sinking to the bottom of the sea. She cuts through whatever she has to and everything else knows to avoid her.

You don’t know why the hell Alek just can’t let the 13 year old version of you go, why he’s looking something where there’s nothing, and you’re just so done with all of this.

You open your eyes, sitting up, letting Clarisse’s arms fall around you in confusion.

“Alek,” you start, softly. “We dated for a month when we were 13. That’s all it was, that’s all it’s ever gonna be. It’s over, okay?”

“Exactly,” he breathes. “A month when we were 13- and we were that good together? We could do so much more now, I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumble, standing up.

And without you in between, Alek finally gets a good look at the daughter of war. She’s pure, streamlined muscle. Every inch of her body has been meticulously trained to kill monsters- Alek knows that killing him would be easy.

Clarisse cracks her knuckles and you almost laugh at how cinematic it is.

—-

You hum as you run the alcohol pad over her split knuckles. Clarisse likes to leave the scars like this, the small ones, let them heal on her own. Even though she winces at the feeling, you know she’ll be walking around, proudly showing off her scabs until they finally fade away. She’ll cross her fingers and hope they scar, probably.

Clarisse watches you with admiration, admiring your movements, your voice, even though you’re really not doing anything special. But, to her, everything you do is special.

“Did you see how bad his face was?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but eagerness slips into her voice.

“I did,” you laugh. “It was real bad, baby. Good job.”

She huffs, as if it’s common knowledge.

“I always do a good job, just matters what level of good I’m on. I think this was one of my best works though, huh?”

She admires her split knuckles and you roll your eyes, finally starting to put some bandaids on the clean wounds.

“You’re crazy,” you mutter.

She shrugs. “You’re the one who let me. You’re the one who loves me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble after a moment, not really wanting to lie to her, tease her right now. She smiles soft and sweet, placing her fingertips against your jawline and leaning forward.

“Did you like watching me?” she breathes, her low voice hitting you right in the stomach, breath against your lips.

You circle her biceps with your hands and run them up and down the tense muscle.

“You know I did.”

“Three months no dessert,” she smiles.

“Three months of sharing with you,” you laugh. She smiles wider before finally, mercifully, putting her lips on yours.

Everything you do is because of Clarisse. It feels so good to be close to her like this- practically in her lap- fo feel how strong she is, to know what she did for you today.

It feels so good to know she loves you.

When you pull away, trying to chase her, she dodges you and kisses your jawline, your neck, and you throw your head back and release the most unladylike sounds as she leaves hickies on your neck, seemingly determined to make them as dark as possible, as easy to see. And a lot of them.

“Jealous?” you say, biting your lip to keep in a moan.

“Just want everyone to know you’re my girl. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, feel loved, huh?”

You stomach twists and your mind goes blank.

“Huh?” she repeats, sticking her face in your neck to breathe in and out, catching her breath. “Why you feelin’ like this, baby?”

“Because of you,” you breathe. “Because of you, Clarisse.”

—-

y/n walking around the next day looking like she got attacked by a vampire

silena trying to be happy for y’all but also concerned for your health

clarisse just being proud as hell

—-

this was small so idk if y’all picked it up but clarisse was jealous before alek even came along- jealous that there were more campers coming! like? she just doesn’t like unworthy losers looking at her girl 🙄

—-

possessive!clarisse i love you so much baby

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[radiance1]

Random Danny Phantom au.

The world ended, nukes launching to every corner of the world.

If the nukes didn't kill them, then the aftermath sure did.

An actual, honest to god supervillain wanted the end of the world, and they did it even when they got taken along too.

Vlad, Danny and Dani survived due to their Halfa biology, with Dani leaving for the ghost zone after everything went down.

Danny is overcome by grief, and anger with no place to direct it.

Same goes for Vlad.

And they already didn't like each other, so just one minor thing set them off on each other.

Due to Danny's victory over Pariah Dark, and Vlad helping him with the suit and pushing Pariah back into the coffin, they each became king of the Ghost Zone.

More like half-king since they both share the position but eH.

Danny got the Crown of Fire, which because of his ice core turned into the Crown of Frost.

Meanwhile Vlad got the Ring of Rage, and became much quicker to anger than he was before.

Surprisingly enough, Danny was the one who landed the first hit.

The opposing nature of their cores, fire and ice, wasn't at all helping the planet when they both went all out, especially with the added power boosts.

They fought on the wasteland planet for a few years, then moved to space. To which something of surprise happened, Danny, with his ice core and the Crown of Frost connected to the moon, meanwhile Vlad, with his Ring of Rage, connected to the motherfucking sun.

Why is this important?

Well, because even though humanity was basically wiped out, the faith left behind on things they worshipped was still around.

So Danny and Vlad both got even more boosts of power from the lingering faiths left behind on the sun and moon. Basically becoming gods.

Not that Danny or Vlad cares, for Danny he just wants the earth back to how it was, and his family by extension. For Vlad, even though he has all of this power now, Madeline isn't here anymore, nor is Vladco and everything else he worked for.

So they just, continue fighting.

The Sun vs the Moon.

They held nothing back, using every inch of power in their cores and the power gained from lingering faith of the sun and moon and caused devastation if they were still on earth.

They fought for years and years. Until one day they just, stopped.

Be it because of how much power they used up, or they just felt emotionally exhausted, perhaps both. Danny just stayed on the Moon while Vlad just kinda, drifted, around the sun.

During this time, Clockwork saw this as the best time to yoink them over to the ghost zone, and properly appoint them as Kings of the Infinite Realms.

Of course they had to have the clothes to match, and with them having a connection to the sun and moon certain ghosts had a motif to go off of.

Danny was gifted a white robe that glowed a soft light, with the edges seeming to turn into frosty mist and the area around him is extremely cold.

Vlad was gifted a golden robe that glowed intensely, the entire thing seemed to be made of fire and the area around him extremely hot.

Opposites and stuff I guess.

No other ghost really wanted to fight them and take the Ghost King title, it's honestly far more trouble than it was worth and they didn't want the responsibilities.

So Danny and Vlad had to put aside their differences and rule together properly for each and every ghost in the zone.

Safe to say, neither of them were thrilled to be working with the other. (With Danny not thrilled to be working at all.)

Which is pretty in character with them being polar opposites.

During their off time, much to some ghost's chagrin, they typically leave outside of the zone to their respective domains, the moon and sun. Both of them feel a sense of comfort when near them.

Surprisingly after their battle and working together, Vlad feels calmer around Danny because of his overall aura, whereas Danny feels the never ending chill he experiences lighten up whenever he's near Vlad.

So they're on some sort of truce right now.

Everything is going fine, the zone finally stabilized with the extended presence of both its kings, the Ghost Zone now has some sense of law and order, and everything is just better over all than under Pariah Dark's absence and rule.

Until Danny gets summoned to some far off dimension, still in the appearance of a teenager because he never aged (neither did Vlad) and is absolutely stunned to see living, breathing humans.

It's been far, far too long since he's seen humans.

So there he is, still in his king robes (Which basically become his regular clothing), sitting in a magical summoning circle with cultists all around him preaching to him about he's going to enslave the world and how they off themselves up to be his servants.

Stunned beyond compare seeing people, and then out of the blue more people come out and beat up the cultists, with the last one begging for him to help them and then being knocked out.

A stray thought entered his mind, and he doesn't even care about the other people anymore. So he steps out of the circle, ignoring the others surprise, their battle ready stances, and their attempts at talking with him and just exits the building and flying out of the planet's atmosphere.

He then turned to look at the planet, and he started crying.

It was breath taking to see the earth living again, especially when from the moon all he ever saw was the wasteland that was once his.

Some random dude came up out of the atmosphere with him, with a determined expression on his face before that melted away into surprise and concern. Who then just floated there alongside him.

Meanwhile, over in the DP outer space:

Vlad is not at all amused when he felt the sudden void of the moon. So he went to check it out, seeing the moon deity gone from his place. Usually when they go to the Infinite Realms they are still aware of the others presence.

But now Vlad doesn't feel him at all.

So Vlad goes to find Clockwork, who should surely know if his opposite decided to go back in time.

Clockwork says he doesn't know where Danny is, but he does know he was summoned to another dimension. Vlad questions how Clockwork doesn't know where Danny is since he's the literal Master of Time.

Clockwork says that he oversees all the events and timelines in this dimension, the one where Danny was summoned to however? Noooot so much.

So now Vlad feels he has to look for his counterpart and is increasingly angry that he has to do so, but then Clockwork nudged him along to go and find him.

So now Vlad has to look for the wayward moon deity; while said deity is now talking with a bunch of actual people and is not at all hiding his wonder and amazement at seeing and talking to living people again.

(Clockwork when he knows exactly where, how, and why Danny got summoned, but isn't telling Vlad a single thing other than "You have to go find him." and acting as if he couldn't just pop into the timestream and ask the Linear Men if they've seen an immortal teenage moon deity in any timelines.)

[ya-bug-boy]

I don't know if you do any other characters but, can you do Bottom N and Top Reader Smut? And can you have it being N's first time doing it? And can you have it all soft and slow at first but then make it get very fast and loud at the end. Thanks

Bottom N x Male Top Reader NSFW 18+

Given the sheltered and manipulated life that N lived prior to leaving Ghetsis and everything that happened in the Unova region, when he was crowned he initially had an arranged marriage to another girl.

He tried his earnest to put up with it, not fully understanding his feelings at all on why he wasn't attracted to her. When he still believed in the promises and glory of Team Plasma, he didn't think to consider her as part of his future plans.

That is until you, his rival, challenged and opposed him and Team Plasma's nefarious efforts.

At first initially, he thinks nothing of you. Until he talks to your Pokemon, greatly surprised by how much your leading Pokemon member loved you. He's never heard a Pokemon speak so kindly of another human except when it was about him.

That really made you stick out to him. You saw him time and time again on your Elite 4 journey and he simply couldn't stop thinking about you even though you were considered his enemy.

When Ghetsis is taken away and he leaves, flying on the back of Zekrom, for obvious reasons, all of his future plans fell apart. He didn't know what to do with himself anymore but in all of his wandering thoughts, it always led back to you.

But he doesn't return to Unova for a while. He stays lingering in the Johto region. And somehow by sheer luck and coincidence, you two run into each other.

The two of you are naturally apprehensive of each other, not knowing how the other would act. N asks what the Champion of the Unova region is doing here and you tell him simply and plainly that you're keeping an eye on him. He does a light laugh at that, trying to make a joke to lighten the situation but he fumbles it. You laugh anyways.

The two of you end up traveling the Johto region together for a while. With your experience with traveling, you basically teach N how to socialize with other humans properly. You didn't know how much this simple gesture would mean to him.

Eventually the two of you start making friends, keeping their phone numbers of skilled trainers who want to challenge you again. With your status as Champions, the gym leaders are drawn to you as well.

The two of you are invited to a social gathering with them actually. It's quite the honor to be invited to a League party. You bring N as your plus one guest.

Despite how meek and shy N was when he initially started to travel with you, he starts to feel as though he's somewhat normal. He can talk to other humans without looking down on them as his first initial reaction. When it's revealed he can talk to Pokemon, the League members get incredibly curious as to what their team says about him, making him a popular guest at the party.

As things settle down, N goes to look for you. His social battery simply isn't as good as yours and this would be the first party he's ever been invited to. He naturally seeks the comforting, secluded corner of a party and that feelings comes directly from you being next to him. But when he sees you socializing with Morty with his other guest, engaging in a conversation over the Johto legendaries... his heart sinks a bit. You look like you're having so much fun. He doesn't want to interrupt. Maybe he should just leave.

Then he feels it, a feeling he would consider ugly. He's envious that other men are talking to you. He wants you to himself. But what did this mean? Can other men be attracted to each other?. . . do you feel the same way about him?

He looks like a sad Lillipup and turns around, deciding to partake in some of the provided beverages.

When you find him again, he's a little drunk. He's never had alcohol before. You get worried because he shouldn't be drinking alone, even if it's a party but he whines as you pick him up. He's so skinny that you can carry him with ease. You bid farewell to the other gym leaders, wanting to make sure that N would be okay. So you take him back to the provided hotel room that the League provided you two with.

When he gets to the room, he sobers up, thanks to your guidance and help. You tease and warn him that he shouldn't be drinking without knowing what his tolerance level is. He looks sadly at his glass of water and you ask him what's wrong.

His voice is quiet, just above a whisper and he asks if you like him. Because he can't stop thinking about you. Every thought N has ever had about you comes spilling out, about how ever since he met you, he's just wanted to know more about you. The way you treat him so kindly is so much, so intense, but he just finds himself wanting more. When he eventually stops, he tries to leave but you silence his protests with a kiss.

His first ever kiss was yours. When you give him space to breath, he traces his lips with his fingers, feeling the lingering warmth yours gave his. He asks if you can do it again.

What started off as gentle, soft kisses only became more intense the longer you kissed him. N has never felt so hungry for another person before, he finds his hands reaching up, pressing his body against yours.

His breath hitches when he feels your hands snake around his waist, pulling you closer to him, your kisses becoming harder and more passionate.

You take the lead. You take off your clothes first. N stops to stare at your naked upper form, his hands hesitant to touch you as if you were shattered glass. You coax him into taking his clothes off. He shows a hesitant shyness before obeying, removing all of his clothes at once.

He feels so dirty in front of you. He's never been naked like this before. His cock is already leaking with pre, just thinking about you. N hides his face with his hands as he shyly mumbles he's never done this before. You stop to ask him if this is what he wants and he nods. You instruct him over the principles of a safeword, something he can say that would make you stop. He understands but can't imagine he'd need to use it, he feels safe in your presence.

You lay him down, giving him another kiss, tracking from his lips, to cheek, jawline, and then his neck. His breath hitches again and he initially squirms away from your touch, only to lean the other way to expose more of his neck.

He lets out a cry, his body shuddering as he feels your hand grope his cock. N covers his mouth with his hand as he tries to keep quiet, embarrassed over the noises he was making as you lovingly stroked his member. Whining as you give him a hickey.

You stop to give him another kiss on the lips, as you trail down, going from his lips, chest, stomach, peppering kisses all the way down until you meet his cock. He lets out a large gasp when he feels you lips press against the tip of his cock and lets out a whorish moan when he feels your tongue trace circles.

N has never felt so undignified before but it feels just so good. You're doing everything right. He wants you to keep going, to keep touching him. When your jaw relaxes and you take his length into your mouth, he can't stop himself from bucking his hips as he squirmed, surprising you. He immediately apologizes, but he can literally feel your smile as you start sucking his cock. He lets out shaky breaths as he lays back down, his hands clutching the bed sheets underneath him.

It's obvious he's never done this before, but even masturbation was sacrilegious to him. If he only knew sooner that he could feel this good, he would have confessed his feelings to you sooner.

He's getting close, you can tell with how his knees bend and his whines change, begging you to keep going. You wrap your arms around his legs, pressing your face closer to his crotch before you deep throat him. His body is squirming under your touch, he's falling apart and it's everything he wants and more.

It doesn't take him long to cum after that, his semen shooting into your mouth. His eyes open wide and he apologizing as he cums, before his body weight sinks back down into the bed.

You look at him, very pleased with his lust drunk expression. His pale complexion turned red as he stares at you with big begging eyes.

[earlgreytea68]

Many years ago now, when I was a very unhappy and depressed lawyer, I went to see a therapist. The therapist diagnosed that I was suffering from severe levels of stress and asked me to keep a "stress journal": for the week between appointments, I was to write down whenever I felt my stress spike.

When I returned to the next appointment with my stress journal, the therapist was shocked I'd actually done the assignment. He said nobody actually keeps a physical journal. I suspected that maybe he didn't fully understand my personality type and the fact that some of my stress was the result of PEOPLE ASKING ME TO DO THINGS THEY APPARENTLY DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT ME TO DO BUT I WAS RESPONSIBLY DOING THEM BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I AM.

Anyway, I digress, that's not the point of the story. The point was that when we looked together at my stress journal, we diagnosed that a recurrent source of spiking stress was receiving an email. This was so many years ago that it was before the smartphone, in the age of the BlackBerry, and every time my stupid BlackBerry vibrated, my stress skyrocketed. Having figured that out, the therapist was like, "What happens if you miss an email for an hour?" And that was hard to articulate. Probably nothing, tbh. Like, realistically I could go without checking my email if I was too busy with work, so why couldn't I when I was home watching TV? So the therapist suggested I confine my email checking to a set schedule. Only at the appointed times would I check my email and deal with whatever had come in.

And you know what? The world never ended, and it WAS a huge relief not to feel like I had to immediately be available for every email. To this day, my work email does NOT come to my phone and I only check it at my appointed times of day. (Actually, I resisted getting a smartphone until very late because after I left the law firm I thought the most glorious thing in the world was PEOPLE COULDN'T REACH ME.)

Anyway, I was thinking about all that today because I had a bad day at work and I realized that I was dreading checking my email and it just made me think that I have lingering issues around email. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I was like, ...no, I probably have lingering issues around WORK because of that job experience I had. Like, was it really about what emails I might have, or was it because I spent the day feeling manipulated in an unpleasant way that made me wary and suspicious of certain things around me, and then THAT made me think, like, I was overreacting because of the way that previous job experience was and the fact that the way it manipulated and abused me will never actually fully leave me, but THEN I was like, OR is it that I honed excellent instincts for that kind of situation happening and I should listen to myself when I feel that way, or or or--

Which is all to say that I wonder sometimes how I would have developed as a professional had I not had that career experience so early on in my life. But then I am in a weird way grateful for it, not because it forever kind of messed up my head in some ways but because I learned SO MUCH about those messed-up situations. Like, it was awful, don't get me wrong, but I did learn a bunch of coping mechanisms I still use today. Like limiting my email exposure. And I think I am warier than a lot of other people I know who didn't go through a workplace that mentally abused you the way that mine did, but I'm not so sure that's a terrible thing. I think it makes me touchy about work-life boundaries and i think there are way worse things to be in our capitalist society.

And also, every once in a while I think about the fact that I didn't think I was going to make it through those years but I did and I am pretty proud of myself for that, so also that. I made it through the other side when I honestly for real didn't think that I would, and every once in a while I have a day that reminds me of how I felt all the time back then, and it makes me remember to be grateful how many days I've gotten to have without that feeling.

[sesttalgi]

to my first - sungchan.

part 1.

synopsis: you and sungchan have been inseparable since childhood but as your friendship deepens, unspoken feelings begin to surface.

this is kinda based on nct dream's first love series.

pairings: sungchan x reader , giselle and shotaro as the readers friends.

im still writing this so anything can happen really.˙ᵕ˙

genre: friends-to-lovers , fluff , slow-burn. possibly angsty down the line.

cw: none.

word count: 2.5k

he was your childhood friend - the one who would always share his last candy with you, despite also being a sweet-tooth himself. the person who pushed you on the swings at the playground until his arms were sore.

sungchan was more than just a friend, he was your best friend. the person you would share everything with, whether it was good or bad. he saw you through all your seasons and you saw him through all his.

when you won your first gold medal in athletics, he was there, cheering you on. he always accompanied you to training, and in turn, you attended his soccer games, serving as his personal cheerleader.

whenever you injured yourself from practicing too hard, sungchan was always there to comfort you. he was protective, although sometimes too much and he never failed to give you a stern talking to whenever you accidentally hurt yourself.

"why do you always push yourself so hard?" he would ask as he gently inspected your injuries, careful not to cause you any more pain. "you need to be more careful. i cant keep patching you up like this."

his tone was firm but there was always a softness in his eyes that showed how much he cared. despite the scolding, he would tend to your wounds with utmost care, his fingers lightly brushing over your skin as he applied the bandages.

"promise me you'll take it easier next time," he would say. "i cant stand seeing you like this." and so even though his words were stern, his actions were always gentle.

"i'll be more careful" you would promise. "i dont want to worry you."

years went by and your friendship with sungchan remained unwavering. you were still each others confidants, sharing your hopes and dreams together. through the good and the bad, you were there for each other - a constant presence in each others lives.

you were in highschool now everything seemed to be changing - everything except your bond with sungchan. while others drifted apart, lost in the whirlwind of new experiences and friendships, the two of you remained inseparable.

but as time passed, something unspoken began to grow between you - a tension that you couldnt quite define.

it started subtly without even realizing it. you were too caught up in the routine of your friendship, too used to the comfort of sungchans presence. when his hand brushed yours or when his gaze lingered, you thought nothing of it. it was just sungchan - your best friend.

when your heart fluttered or your cheeks warmed in his presence, you dismissed it as nerves or maybe just the stress of athletics and your academics. you chalked it up to anything but what it really was, never suspecting that something deeper was beginning to stir.

"what is happening to me?" you would think to yourself.

you thought love was meant to be a fairytale. that prince charming would come sweeping you off your feet, but instead you found yourself developing feelings for the person you had been friends with since you were both in diapers - the friend who had seen you through every milestone and every flaw. it wasnt the grand, dramatic romance you had imagined but it was something far more real and intense.

you tried to rid yourself of the feelings youd developed for sungchan by keeping your distance from him for a while. spending time with your other close friends instead - giselle and shotaro. they were surprised to see you though because they knew you usually spent your free time with sungchan.

"finally remembered us, huh?" giselle said with a teasing smile while scrolling through her phone. she was always attached to that damn phone - whether it be listening to music or stalking herself on instagram. "i started to think youd forgotten about us."

shotaro on the other hand looked rather concerned as he noticed that you werent your usual lively self - too consumed by your thoughts about your sudden realization of your feelings for sungchan.

"whats going on? we havent seen you much lately..." shotaro asked, raising an eyebrow. "did sungchan finally join a circus and forget to send us the memo?"

you forced a laugh, trying to brush off their concern. "i just needed some time to myself... i figured it was time for us to catch up though"

giselle and shotaro exchanged a glance - the kind that said they were onto you.

"come on, spill it" giselle said, her tone shifting from teasing to serious. she set her phone aside, her full attention now on you. "youre about as subtle as ningnings laugh."

shotaro nodded in agreement. "yeah something is definitely bothering you, you know you can talk to us?"

feeling cornered by their concern, you sighed - feeling the weight of your predicament.

"its sungchan. i dont know whats going on with me but for some reason my heart keeps racing every time im around him" you admitted, frustration creeping into your voice. "i thought i could ignore it, but the more i try, the more it feels like my emotions are on overdrive."

giselles eyes widened in shock. "wait, hold on. you and sungchan? the guy we've known since like, forever?"

shotaro looked equally stunned, his expression a mix of surprise and amusement. "seriously? i had a feeling something was up, but i didnt think it would be this."

you slightly chuckled at their reactions, feeling a bit of relief despite the shock they expressed. "i know, right? its been so weird trying to make sense of it all."

giselle grinned mischievously. "well, if we had to bet on which of us would end up falling for a best friend, youd be at the top of the list. its almost poetic."

shotaro laughed, shaking his head. "yeah, poetic and a bit cliché but honestly, it makes sense. you and sungchan have been joined at the hip since forever. if anyone was going to catch feelings, it would be you."

you rolled your eyes, but there was a smile on your face. "great, so im the cliché character in your drama."

giselle chimed in, her tone playful. "hey, clichés can be fun and besides, its not like we didnt see this coming. we've all noticed the way you two are around each other."

you interjected - confused, "and exactly how are we around each other gigi, enlighten me please?"

giselles eyes sparkled with mischief. "oh, you know, the way you both get all soft and gooey when youre together. its like watching a romcom unfold in real life."

shotaro nodded, adding, "and dont forget how sungchan is practically your walking first aid kit, always ready to patch you up whenever you push yourself too hard."

"you really need to stop doing that though, you cant keep running yourself into the ground like that" giselle interjected, her tone concerned yet a bit serious.

you chuckled, rolling your eyes. "yeah, yeah i'll stop." you responded to giselle, somewhat dismissive.

getting back on topic you responded to shotaro, "yeah, sungchan is definitely the overprotective type. sometimes i think he forgets im not a delicate flower that needs constant tending."

"come on, you know you like it, i mean youre in this predicament for a reason" giselle teased.

you raised an eyebrow at giselle. "oh, really? and what exactly is that reason?"

giselle responded, "well, if youre asking, its clear you dont mind having someone whos always looking out for you."

shotaro added, "yeah, and if youre honest, you probably appreciate the attention even if it drives you a bit crazy sometimes. its part of why youre feeling this way about him."

you sighed, smiling slightly to yourself. "okay, maybe youre right. its hard to ignore the fact that he is always there for me, even if he can be a bit over the top."

giselle nodded. "exactly. its kind of sweet, really and it makes sense that your feelings would evolve with someone who has been such a constant presence in your life."

shotaro leaned in with a smirk. "so, whats the next step? are you going to confess your feelings, or are you just going to continue this romantic subplot in your own head?"

you laughed, feeling a bit more relaxed. "im not sure yet. i guess i need to figure out how to handle this without making things awkward."

giselle gave you a reassuring smile. "whatever you decide, just remember that we're here for you, whether its for the drama or just to help you sort things out."

you hung out with your friends until it was time for you to go home. you knew you would possibly bump into sungchan because you lived in the same neighborhood but you assumed he would be at soccer practice so you walked home feeling light.

however, there he was - standing right in front of your house, seemingly waiting for you.

you continued to walk towards your house, surprised to see him, "sungchan... what are you doing here?"

sungchan looked at you, a bit annoyed that youd even ask. "i havent really seen you much these past few days, so i came to check if you were alive and well" he said, reaching out to pat the top of your head, slightly ruffling your hair. he continued, "seems like you are."

you couldnt help but smile at his familiar gesture even as a slight flutter of nerves hit your stomach. "i have just been busy, thats all" you replied, trying to sound casual.

he raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "busy avoiding me, maybe?" he teased, but there was a hint of something more serious in his tone.

you looked away, suddenly feeling the weight of the situation. "its not like that" you said, though even you werent sure if you believed it.

sungchans expression softened as he studied you. "if somethings bothering you, you know you can talk to me, right? im here for you, always."

his words, so sincere and caring only made the feelings youd been trying to suppress come rushing back. you nodded, forcing a smile. "i know. thanks, sungchan."

he gave you a small smile in return, his hand lingering on your head for a moment longer before dropping it to his side. "good. now come on, lets get you inside before you catch a cold or something."

as you walked towards the door, you couldnt shake the mix of emotions swirling inside you. it was all starting to feel different and you werent sure what to do about it.

you made your way to the bathroom to refresh yourself, needing a moment to collect your thoughts. as you splashed cool water on your face, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, the reality of the situation sinking in.

drying your face with a towel, you took a deep breath, trying to push down the feelings that had been bubbling up ever since you realized your heart had started to change.

you couldnt deny it anymore - the bond you shared with sungchan was evolving into something deeper, something that both excited and terrified you.

but how could you act on these feelings without risking the friendship youd cherished for so long? the last thing you wanted was to make things awkward between you two, especially when he was such an important part of your life.

with a sigh, you left the bathroom, feeling a little more composed but still unsure of what to do next. as you stepped back into the hallway, you found sungchan leaning against the wall, waiting for you with that familiar, gentle smile on his face.

"feel better?" he asked, his voice warm and soothing.

you nodded, offering a small smile in return. "yeah, just needed a moment."

sungchan straightened up, his eyes searching yours for a moment longer than usual. "you know, you dont have to go through whatever this is alone. im here, whether you need to talk or just… be."

his words, so simple yet so full of meaning, sent your heart racing. "i know" you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.

there was a silence that stretched between you, filled with unspoken words and feelings you were too afraid to express.

finally, sungchan broke the moment with a soft chuckle. "come on, lets go grab something to eat. you look like you could use a good meal."

you smiled, grateful for the distraction. "sure, lets go."

you and sungchan made your way to a little fast food place in your neighborhood, one of your usual hangouts. the familiarity of the place brought a sense of comfort, easing some of the tension youd been feeling. you slid into a booth by the window while sungchan headed to the counter to order - two burgers and fries, just like always.

as you watched him, you couldnt help but notice how natural everything felt. even after all the confusion and the mixed emotions swirling inside you, being with sungchan was still as easy as it had always been.

sungchan returned with the tray of food, sliding into the seat across from you with a smile. "here you go, your usual. i even got extra fries because i know how much you like to steal mine."

you laughed, grateful for the lighthearted moment. "hey, sharing is caring, right?"

he chuckled, shaking his head as he unwrapped his burger. "you keep telling yourself that."

as you both started eating, the conversation flowed easily, just like old times. you talked about everything and nothing - school, sports and random things that had happened during the week. for a while, it was like everything was back to normal and the confusion youd been feeling faded into the background.

but as the meal went on, there were moments when your eyes would meet and the unspoken tension between you would flare up again. it was subtle, but it was there - the way his gaze lingered a little longer, the way your heart skipped a beat whenever he smiled at you.

at one point, sungchan leaned back in his seat, looking at you with that familiar, warm expression. "you know, i've missed hanging out like this. it feels like we havent had much time together lately."

you looked down at your fries, feeling a little guilty. "yeah… im sorry about that. i've just had a lot on my mind."

he nodded, his tone softening. "its okay. i just want you to know im here, no matter what."

his words hung in the air, and for a moment you wondered if this was the time to finally open up about everything.

but before you could say anything, sungchans phone buzzed on the table, breaking the moment.

he glanced at the screen and sighed. "coach wants me to come in early tomorrow for practice. guess i'll have to cut our night short."

you nodded, trying to hide your disappointment. "thats okay. we can hang out another time."

sungchan smiled, reaching across the table to give your hand a quick squeeze. "definitely. we'll catch up properly soon, i promise."

as you both got up to leave, you couldnt help but feel that there was still so much left unsaid. but for now, you were content with the familiarity of your friendship, even as the unspoken feelings between you continued.

[castlebyersafterdark]

I don’t know if you already answered this but how do you think will’s first time bottoming will go? I read it hurts the first few times and you need to be a consistent bottom so it wouldn’t be as painful

I've dabbled here and there with the topic. And my vision for Will is that it's a slow process to get there, because of the joy of having Mike. Their relationship, the progression and exploration of the physical side of them being together, the joy of taking the journey of exploring everything together. Not everyone has that!! 🥲

I have scenarios and wips with different ideas and then I have what I call my personal "canon timeline" for my general HCs and in this, Will and Mike do wait to go all the way. There's so much else to fill their sex life with until the time is right. I view them waiting until they're off on their own, living together in college. So they don't have to rush into it. Explore everything except full penetration. Nothing wrong with that. And it doesn't have to hurt to a crazy extent, if you work up to it, know what to expect, what you're doing. Will would have tried stuff on his own, experimented himself. A finger or two while getting off alone, or in the shower. He's curious. But then he and Mike experiment. Fingers, mouth. By the time they actually decide to go all the way with anal, it's not like it's a spontaneous unprepared idea. And yeah, it's still probably gonna hurt a bit - a dick is a lot more than a few fingers. And Will wouldn't have ever done it yet, you don't really know your body until it's actually happened to you and you've tried it. But they're not strangers or a hook-up who don't know each other or their experience/history.

They'll communicate, they'll work up to it, they'll prepare. It's not so bad with all that. Full on making looooove the first time, even if it's still, you know, not perfect at all. But perfect for them. Because it's Will's first time, but it's also Mike's first time. The start and stop, the trying to figure out angles and what to do with your limbs, your body, the new physical feelings. Mike trying not to come in under a minute from how amazing Will feels around him, while making it as pleasurable as possible for Will. Discovering how to find a rhythm and Mike's really into it but then Will's not feeling the speed or angle so they need to stop, slow down, breathe. Then Will wants it a specific way and Mike's gotta figure out what he's asking for. Oh, but how good is all that. The tip over the edge when your body finally understands and adjusts and this totally new type of pleasure overrides any of the lingering hurt. Wonderful.

And then over time, doing it more... then it's really really good 🤭😉 Will and Mike are going to have so much fun with each other and discovering everything.

[blainesebastian]

unwavering support

words: 1,714 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request)  can i request austin with a s/o who lost their father? notes: honored you felt comfortable enough to ask me to write this! thank you and I hope fics continue to feel healing for you 💕 warnings: grief, heavy emotions associated with loss  tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylesmendeshearted

Two months.

Time is a weird thing, something you don’t think you’ll ever be able to figure out as long as you’re alive to contemplate about it. You’re not sure how it’s somehow this riddle’s answer of something that can go so fast and yet tick along so slow like the inching of a second hand on a clock. How is it possible to be both?

Some days are better than others—instinctively, you know that’s normal. Even when bad days happen, they won’t all feel the same and sooner or later, it’ll still hurt, but that hurt will be easier to live with. It’ll become a part of you as anything else, an experience, an identity, a feeling that lingers as it warms and becomes memory. Letting go is not the same thing as forgetting.

Even though that sometimes feels like the better option when the pain is nearly completely overwhelming.

Not much makes sense after losing your father, not much feels real. The only thing you’re certain of is that you don’t think you would have gotten through the initial agony and loss without Austin. Your boyfriend of two years has been with you every step along the way, ever since your father got sick. And while it feels like something you might have saw coming? Nothing ever prepares you for the real thing happening. You know Austin empathizes with exactly how you feel since he lost his mother—not quite the same, of course, but he seems to instinctively understand when to keep you close, when to give you space, and when to gently push to let him in.

He is indescribably kind, thoughtful and patient, your rock, never understanding how much you needed him until he was there. He’s put so much on the backburner for you that you can’t help but feel a little guilty, even though you know you’d do the same thing for him in a heartbeat if the roles were somehow reversed.

You suppose that’s what love really is.

Some days are particularly hard to get out of bed. You have every intention of movement, having brunch with your agent today, but…when you go to pull the covers back after turning off the alarm, you just don’t. You settle between the sheets, dozing for a few minutes, waking back up to see an hour has actually passed. Letting out a soft sigh, you listen to the sounds of the apartment settling, the silence, the slick noises of cars running over wet pavement outside the windows from a thunderstorm last night.

Austin isn’t home, or at least you don’t think he is? He had his own agenda items today. There’s the pitter patter of nails against the hardwood floor as your dog paces around outside the bedroom, finally using his nose to push the door open. He pants, jumping in bed with you, lying down by your feet. You turn a bit to lie on your stomach, arms up and under the pillow, pressing your face into the fabric and breathing in the lingering scent of Austin’s cologne.

You must fall asleep again because the next time your eyes flutter open, you hear the door creak again. For a moment you think it’s your dog leaving but you still feel the weight of him at the bottom of the bed. Footsteps against carpet before the bed dips and Austin begins lying his body down, his top half mapped out along your back. He settles his arms on the pillow, one underneath so his hand can find yours. He creates this cage almost, his chin hooking over your shoulder and pressing his nose and lips into your neck, your hair, breathing you in. Austin lets out a soft sigh that tickles your skin, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, fingers running up and down your arm and massaging small circles into your shoulder. He lays there with you like that for a few minutes, completely quiet, and you swallow over an automatic lump in your throat at the feeling of him against you. Like a weighted, heated blanket.

You’re not sure if he knows you’re awake or not until he finally speaks against the shell of your ear, “Thought you were doin’ brunch today.”

There’s not one lick of judgement in his tone, just utter concern as he checks in with you, trying to gauge where you’re at. To be honest? You have no idea where the barometer is—everytime you think you got a good grasp on it, it twitches in another direction you’re not prepared for. Still…you think? You’re alright. You have every intention of leaving bed today, going through the motions, feeling more like yourself the more you move. Just seems like your limbs need the reminder, not quite caught up with your thinking. There’s a heaviness in your chest that seems to squash the optimism though.

Clearing your throat, you switch gears as to not talk about yourself, “Thought you had things to do today.” Not argumentative nor defensive, just adding to the conversation.

You don’t often push Austin away—you do admit there are moments where you’ve tried, where emotions are so overwhelming you feel as if you’re drowning. He keeps your head above water. He gives you space but never lets you feel like you’re alone.

“I did,” He presses a kiss to your head, “They were quick.”

You’re not sure if you believe him or not, wondering if he canceled something or sped through his errands as quick as he could to get back home to you. And while part of you wants to feel touched by that sentiment, the last thing you want to feel like is a burden to anyone, especially him. Even though, distantly, you know you’d never be that at all.

Austin is just…he has to be one of the most understanding men on the planet. He never pushes you to talk, to share your emotions before you’re ready. He just lets you feel them, formulate them into words the best you can and put them into the universe when it makes sense to. It has to be frustrating for him—not that he’d be aggravated? But that he can see you’re clearly hurting and not knowing what to do to help. You hope he realizes that he helps every single day just by being there, by being present, by loving you.

You shift in bed, Austin moving with you so that you can turn in his arms until you’re lying on your back. He continues to lean over you, brushing some hair away from your face, holding himself up with his arms. He must be able to see the tears sitting along your eyelashes like little beaded weights because he cups your cheek with his one hand, running his thumb against your cheekbone.

Sniffling, you shake your head, tipping it back slightly, “It hurts to breathe today.” You admit, biting down hard on the inside of your mouth so your lower lip doesn’t wobble.

His eyebrows draw together in a soft wince, hurting because you’re hurting, “I know baby,” He whispers, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “You want me to call your agent? Tell her you can’t make it today?”

Shaking your head, you move your hand to run down your face. Austin shifts to lie beside you and you turn to shuffle closer to him, pressing yourself into his chest. He wraps his arms around you, keeping you close, a long breath of air leaving his nose. His one hand slips up and down your back, sliding underneath your shirt every so often to trace pressured circles against your spine. It sometimes creates goosebumps on your skin.

You still have good intentions to meet your agent today—might not be the time you set out to, but they’ll understand, right? You’ll send them a message in a few moments…currently all you want to do is lie there in your shared bed with Austin as he continues to hold you, threading his long fingers through your hair. He never makes you feel pressured to talk or explain yourself and honestly that’s a relief because you’re unsure if you can even find the words to describe anything in a way that mattered.

It hurts to move too quickly right now—it hurts to breathe. You don’t even realize that tears are slipping down your cheeks until they plop onto Austin’s shirt. You sigh unevenly, wiping the one side of your face, Austin leaning back a little to brush his thumb against your cheekbone.

“What can I do?” He murmurs, like he’d be willing to grab the moon for you if you asked, pluck it right out of the sky.

A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth—you’re not sure what you’ve done to deserve someone like Austin. Reaching up to press the palm of your hand against his cheek, your run your thumb along a spackle of freckles underneath his left eye. Beautiful, really.

“You’re already doing it.”

Austin smiles a little back, dipping his chin to press a kiss along your thumb. His one hand slides around your neck, drawing you into his chest and keeping you close for as long as you need. Later, when you manage to get out of bed, shower and dress for the brunch that turns into a late lunch, dinner, you tug Austin towards you as he stands in the kitchen drying dishes. There’s a soft chuckle that leaves his lips as you press yourself up on your toes to kiss him.

He hums, stealing one more to the corner of your mouth, “What was that for?”

“Because,” You tell him. “Thank you for everything, for being here.”

He shakes his head, beginning to wave you off, “You don’t gotta thank me.”

“I do,” You reply—because if it may seem automatic and natural for him to do it, even if you’d do the same thing for him if he needed, Austin doesn’t have to be as wonderful as he is. He’s a good man, but he has his own things going on that require his attention—he does it because he loves you.

And on your worst days, that always feels like enough.

--

Thanks to anyone who’s reading, commenting, liking, etc! I felt like I wanted to push this to the front of my requests, so here’s the ones I still have left to post:

-exes working on the same film (and a sentence prompt from Bri) -austin x reader on the beach -exes but reader calls Austin in a time of need

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️

pick between 5 of my babies? 🥺 GLADLY

(these aren't necessarily my favorites btw. just the ones that i wanna boost!)

lies of attrition

my priority atm, and also a super fun collab with me and @ladyofthenoodle! if you want some post-s5 angst, action, pining, and ladynoir enemies, this is the place to be!

summary: The trust between Ladybug and Chat Noir is stretched to breaking point when a new butterfly holder emerges in the wake of Monarque's defeat. Chat Noir doesn't know who to trust until Chrysalis confronts him with a truth Ladybug had tried to bury: Monarque made the Wish—and she wants Chat Noir’s help to undo it. excerpt: “Chat,” Ladybug said, her voice coated with worry. “Did something happen?” He could tell her, now. He had come here to tell her, to show her his face after three years of partnership, to let her see why so much was suddenly wrong. If only he knew what she would say when he pulled off his mask. If only he knew whether she would stay or go. “I could tell you,” he ventured, turning to look directly at her. “But… it’s easier if I show you.” He saw the moment she realized; the way her blue eyes widened, her pink lips parting in a tiny “o.” They stared at each other, unmoving, the sounds of the parade fading into the night. A single firework burst overhead, shattering the standstill. Red blazed over her face, the fall of sparks raining down behind her. Then her features pinched, and in that moment, every hidden place within him was painted red too. “Oh, Chat Noir,” Ladybug whispered, her expression growing more pained by the second. “I… I don’t know.”

Like Smoke from a Furnace

one of my personal favorites! this was an experiment for me in present tense and internal conflict, and i really like how it turned out!

summary: Marinette and Adrien give up their Miraculous. Ladybug and Chat Noir never meet again. excerpt: Giving up the Ladybug Miraculous was supposed to unshackle them both. If she had done so earlier, it could have been different. If Adrien had spoken up later, it would have been different. But Ladybug knew nothing about Chat Noir except the heart he had always laid bare, and that was of her own doing. If Marinette passes him in the street, they will both keep going, none the wiser, the culmination of all their self-imposed secrets. She has nothing to go on. No name, no circumstance, no poorly-disguised hint, as she suspects he has tried to leave before. Chat Noir had become better at following her rules than she, and Marinette had so recently been simultaneously proud of him for it—and resented him too. It doesn’t sink in until several quiet nights later, when she and Adrien are tucked together on his couch, the soft blues and grays of his chosen film flashing across his screen. She is never going to see Chat Noir again.

rest your head (upon my shoulder)

i love this one so much. sometimes i go back and read it to myself because it gives me the exact toe-curling pining i always crave. i like to think of it as one of those "so close but so far away" stories - one of my favorite brands of angst.

summary: Ladybug can save Chat Noir from anything, except what he doesn't tell her. excerpt: “I don’t think there will be any Akuma attacks for a while.” She frowned, but he leaned back, staring up at the starless sky through the leaves of the tree hanging overhead.  Something was wrong. She could feel it lingering over him, heavy like suspended rain. “Chaton?” “I had this dream the other night,” he said, gazing over the roof of the Musée. “We grew wings without needing anything—no macarons, no magic words, no Miraculous. And then we just…took off. I don’t really remember where we went, but it was beautiful.”  His eyes slid to hers once more, unnaturally bright. Her blood rushed with unbidden heat and she reminded herself why she had stopped sitting in dark, quiet places alone with Chat Noir. 

borealis green

a feligami oneshot! this covers the time between "pretension" and "representation" and is probably one of my only canon-compliant au's. i really like writing kagami's pov so this was super fun!

summary: Getting to know Felix is easier than Kagami anticipated, especially as he keeps following her. excerpt: “Goodnight, Félix,” she whispers, though she does not need to. Nobody is around to hear them. No one is watching them. It is only a taste of the freedom he promised her, and yet it sinks into her with the softness of the street lights and the prickle of the night air.  “Can I see you again?” he asks, just as softly.  She has exactly nine minutes to walk back to the ikebana studio where Tatsu will be waiting to transport her home. She can make it if she walks fast. She can linger a few moments longer if she runs. The vertigo crescendos as she remains in place, watching the gleam of headlights flash in his eyes as cars speed past.  “You should go home,” Kagami tells him, holding his gaze. “It’s not safe for you in Paris.” Félix tilts his head in acknowledgement, but the corners of his mouth turn up. “No,” he agrees. “It isn’t.”

mirror image

another post-s5 fic centered on adrien & felix, but with a twin telepathy twist. it's kind of like my r&r time for fic, easy and cathartic and a fun break for me between other projects!

summary: The voice in Adrien’s head is strangely familiar. It also tells him the truth (when no one else will). excerpt: You are hearing things, the voice said as though in answer. Doesn’t mean I’m not real. Adrien reached for the silver chain around his neck, his fist closing around the two rings resting warm against his sternum. “As real as me?” Yes, idiot, the voice replied with a bite. As real as you. “That’s not what some people would say,” Adrien replied, not caring if the voice was annoyed. It was his head, after all. Well, what would you rather be? The voice plowed on, unbothered by Adrien’s ire. Born of magic, or born of Gabriel Agreste?

ty for the ask kayla 💛 love me some self-promotion. hope y'all enjoy!

[riirhythms]

BLOG ENTRY #1 Dilaw: A Colorful Journey of Love and Loss

"When you came into my life, it was like a burst of sunshine on a cloudy day, filling everything with warmth and brightness. But now that you're gone, I'm left with a mark of your presence that won't go away, like a stain that stays no matter how hard I try to scrub it."

Maki's newly released music video for "Dilaw" is a visual and emotional masterpiece that takes the audience on a poignant journey through the highs and lows of love. The narrative encapsulated through clever color symbolism, leaves a lasting impression that is both heartwarming and heart-wrenching.

The Color Transition: From Monotony to Vitality

At the start, it's all in black and white, like old photographs. It feels boring like nothing is exciting happening. That's how the music video begins, showing a dull life. But then, something changes. The colors start to shift, and suddenly, there's yellow everywhere! It's like someone turned on a big, bright light. Yellow represents warmth and energy, and it's like a burst of sunshine in the video. This change shows us how having someone important in our lives can make everything feel more alive and colorful.

The Yellow Stain: A Mark of Unforgettable Impact One of the most memorable parts of the video is when Maki accidentally leaves a yellow mark on Maloi's uniform. It's not just a simple stain; it's like a little piece of sunshine that Maki leaves behind. This stain represents how someone can leave a mark on our lives, even after they're gone. It's like a reminder of all the happiness they brought us, but it also reminds us of the sadness when they're not around anymore. The stain is like a symbol of the deep impressions that the people we love leave on us. It's a mix of happy memories and sad feelings, all wrapped up in one little mark.

The Bittersweet Reality of Relationships The main idea behind "Dilaw" is the mixed feelings we experience in relationships. The video does a great job of showing how much someone can affect us, blending moments of happiness with moments of sadness. It's like a true-to-life look at love, where we feel both joy and sorrow. By the end, we realize how much relationships can change us, leaving us different from how we started.

The Enduring Impact of Love and Loss One of the most touching parts of the music video comes at the end when Maloi starts crying. Up until that moment, the colors in the video are kind of dull and muted, matching her sadness. But then, something changes. Maloi picks up a yellow object, and it's like a switch flips. Suddenly, the whole scene becomes brighter and warmer. It's as if she's finding a little piece of happiness again. This moment is really powerful because it shows how love and loss can still affect us, even after someone is gone. It's like their presence lingers on, shaping our feelings and experiences long after they've left.

A Visually and Emotionally Rich Experience Maki's "Dilaw" is not just a song; it's an experience that resonates deeply with anyone who has ever loved and lost. The clever use of color transitions and symbolism in the music video adds layers of meaning to the lyrics, making it a visually and emotionally rich narrative. It reminds us that while people may come and go, their influence, whether it brought us joy or sorrow, remains with us, coloring our world in unforgettable ways. In essence, "Dilaw" is a testament to the enduring power of love and the inevitable intertwining of happiness and heartache in our lives. It's a music video that will stay with you long after it ends, much like the yellow stain—an indelible mark of unforgettable impact.

Ratings for "Dilaw" by Maki💛 Lyrics: The words in "Dilaw" are beautiful and really capture the ups and downs of love. They're like a painting, full of emotion and meaning. (Rating: 4.5/5) Vocal: Maki sings the song really well, and you can feel the emotions in their voice. Sometimes they sound vulnerable, other times strong, but it all fits the song perfectly. (Rating: 4/5) Emotional Impact: This song really hits you in the heart. It's so relatable, especially if you've ever been in love or gone through a breakup. It makes you feel things deeply. (Rating: 5/5) Production: The music in "Dilaw" sounds really good. Everything sounds clear and well put-together, which makes the song even better. (Rating: 4.5/5) Replay Value: You'll want to listen to this song over and over again. It's just so good and has a timeless feel to it that keeps you coming back. (Rating: 4/5) Overall Rating: "Dilaw" is an amazing song in every way. From the lyrics to the music to how it makes you feel, it's just really well done. (Overall Rating: 4.5/5)

[sapphire-weapon]

You say that, but in the same time, I very clearly remember seeing you put someone down by linking their lack of intelligence to the fact they probably didn’t go to school. I’m not even asking you to justify it. I saw you do it, plain and simple.

Also, you'll notice I'm not really asking you to justify anything. I'm just giving you my point of view and explaining why a lot of people see you as an arrogant person. Do with that what you want. Listen or don't. Honestly, it's not my problem what you do with it.

no, you didn't see me do that, because i've never done that. and if you can pull up this post and link it to me and show me that i've done that, i will fall on my sword and admit defeat. but until then, all you're doing is coming into my inbox and telling me that people have a view of my arrogance based on a fucking lie.

and there's nothing i can fucking do about that.

so, if people want to see me as arrogant because of a fictional story that someone made up about me, i am powerless to stop them.

and this is something that happens in everyday life irl with people, too. you might work in the same organization with someone for a long time but not see each other very often, so after a while, you can't remember why you dislike them (because the specific memory is long since lost to you), you just do. memories fade, but vibes linger. and if a story that someone tells you about this person matches with the vibes you already feel, you accept it as true without question. you may even, over time, refile that story in your brain as a false memory that you were a part of or witnessed personally.

every single person on the planet is susceptible to this. that's part of the human experience.

and, being an adult, i accept that. i cannot control other people's thoughts. i cannot control other people's feelings. i cannot control other people's actions.

that's why i don't beg people to stay. there's no reason to. if you are fundamentally, diametrically opposed to me calling someone a dumbass for saying that using a slur is a morally defensible (and even SUPERIOR) position -- if that somehow reinforces your negative view of me -- then i don't fucking want you here. there's nothing i can do to win you over, and there's no benefit for me to try. i gain nothing by earning your approval or raising your opinion of me.

i don't care what you think of me. if you're unhappy, leave.

bye.

ps: your word usage tells are present in this ask, and i know that you're still the ass-blasted anon that still hasn't answered my question about your method for eating tide pods. i'm just being nice by pretending like we're talking about someone else. i know you're still upset that i yelled at you, not some other anon.

in fact, me and @godtier were just talking about you yesterday, because you've been blowing up my inbox, and you know you have.

[headstrongblake]

[ swat ] your muse swatting mine's hand away from something they're not supposed to touch. / kassy & o / @thewholecrew

for the afternoon it's nice to be outside. to breathe fresh air instead of the sterile hospital, she'd been dying to escape the second she woke up. this normal quality time in the sun with everyone surrounding her is exactly what she needs. & if octavia ignores the painful twinges in her stomach when she moves, it's almost like nothing terrible has happened at all.

she's still sitting on the picnic table with grant as nick begins to corral the group back toward them with his large plate of food. hunter and bellamy join them first before alec and kassy saunter up the hill together. alec encouraged rev to join them while it looked like kassy had enjoyed a nap under the tree, rubbing the sleep from her eyes before they sparkled as her arm linked through octavia's. "hi baby," o greeted her warmly, smiling as grant and her moved off the top of the table to the benches below. "alright, i cooked, you lot can serve yourselves." nick told the group as he smirked, setting out the last of the bbq while alec unpacked different sides and fruit trays from the coolers.

although her appetites had been low ever since the surgery, octavia couldn't pass up reaching for a plate to grab some strawberries before she withdrew her hand at kassy's smack. "hey!" her brows drew together, shooting her best friend a look. kassy simply shrugged her shoulders, "i will get you a plate all set," was all she offered as an explanation as octavia rolled her eyes, watching her best friend dish up an array of foods for her. even if she wanted to argue that she could get herself food, she knew it would do no good. it brought kassy joy to take care of them, and who was she to deny kassy after all she'd put her friends and brother through?

"o," bellamy's hand at her elbow startled her as she turned toward him. he held out some water for her before emerald hues watched his fingers leave her arm, moving to his pocket as he pulled out a bottle of medication. her teeth clenched as her insides excitedly reacted to seeing the pills her brother dispensed into his palm, "time for your meds," he said, offering them to her like she was still a child. it's for the best. both of them know it, but it only makes her feel weak. pitiful for needing her brother to monitor her pain meds until the stitches come out, and she can work toward kicking this again.

quickly, octavia washed down the medication with a silent thank you to her brother before she turned her attention back to grant and the plate of food kassy had created for her. while everyone chattered around the table, octavia slowly picked at the fruit on her plate, basking in the sounds of her family. grant's right...this feeling right here, how they support each other and linger in each other's company...this is what it's like to have a family. "hey guys... i have something to say," spilled out of her before octavia could really consider the consequences. this is her family, and she's only ever survived her addictions because of bellamy. his unwavering support as her family. maybe this time...it didn't have to be on just the two of them.

as the chatter ceased around her, emerald hues flickered to her big brother. she knew he already knew. he knows her better than anyone. has been there to experience her blissful highs and devastating withdrawals. "i wanna thank you all; really, these past few weeks are not how i wanted summer to end but it means the world to me the way you all rallied around bell while i was out, how all of you supported me while i was in the hospital..." she begins with her gratitude because although she feels incredibly undeserving of it, she loves all of them immensely. as she spoke her eyes wandered along her group, the addict side of her screaming to leave it at that. but she pushes it aside for her sake.

"i haven't been the most honest with any of you this summer..." she admitted, her eyes moving between grant and her best friend. by telling them the truth, she's accepting the long hard road to recovery. accepting that she no longer wants to shove everything beneath a glorious high. if she tells them everything, she admits the oxy is a problem too big for her to contain herself. "the massive drug debt chase had that got us shot? it wasn't just his. i've been using a lot of oxy and coke since july...thousands of dollars worth and um," shamefully, her head dipped from everyone's gaze as her hand curled against her sweatpants. "after this is all healed," she gestured toward her side where she'd been shot, "i'm going to stop using...i want to, but um, i guess you all are my family and i just...wanted you to know. tried of lying..."

[aksbe]

Oh you know that scene where ava falls and practically dies in front of bea in 5th ep? Did you notice that the song playing in the backround while beatrice holds ava is literally called:

and oh boy do i have a theory to why its their theme, so pull up spotify, youtube, apple music, your local singing bird choir, whatever and listen to this song on loop if you wanna know what im babbling about.

So why is it their theme?

The song starts off sounding so unsure, like its so new to both of them, its carefull, slow and so soft as if something would break if it was too loud or fast and in a way thats perfect for them. Their start was slow and their love was something new to both of them. Theres even these small notes mixed in the start which could symbolise the small moments those sparks that started it all.

If their relationship would have happened any faster i dont think it would have been the same, because yes, they're made for each other, but it just woudnt have worked out. The slow burn was what was needed for both of their character developments. Without that pining, without that jelousy or those moments and looks i dont think bea would have ever left the ocs later, because it could have easialy be swept under the rug as "just a fling, small temptation, nothing else". But with the slow burn its more like... she feels the love and she feels happy and it dosent bring her any pain untill she lost ava.

And for ava it was another new thing. So far ava has rushed trough new things, new experiences, enjoyed the moments and moved on. Like take JC, she rushed in and trough that relationship so fast, but ultimately we dont ever hear her mention him much after. It was just another new shiny thing she hadnt gotten to experience before. But now, with this build up, her slowing down, she starts to apprechiate the small things she now has, the small important moments with beatrice. Like when they danced in the club and the moment where she just looked at bea, really looked and i bet nothing else mattered for her in that moment.

In the second half of the song theres this build up which is like how their love was so slowly and delicately built moment upon moment and emotions upon emotions and ultimately at the end of the build up with the last high notes its their high point, every small building block being down, all those months of experiences just everything coming togheter and then one of the most purest forms of affection. A simple, beautiful kiss.

And the way the song fades out in the end... Their time being cut short. Their love tossed in the air, left to the wind because ava is gone(for now) and bea is left behind. But the sound lingers for so long that i cant help but believe theres still hope for both of them, and i think they believe the same.

Extra thoughts

Honestly i cant decide which came first in this case, was the piece written for that scene and later made the theme song or was it first their theme song...

See this song fits so well in that scene. Which makes me believe that it was first written for it. Like the fear at start and then bea feeling the pulse and thinking ava is dead, and comforting and asking her not to be dead, and then her being okay and alright and ending on the high point of "they cant beat us bea, not togheter." Which is such an important line!

Maybe they wrote it for that scene and realized how well it symbolised their relationship too.

Cant lie about the fact how sad sounding it is either. Which makes sense for the scene but also maybe a tiny bit for their relationship.

Its always been known how warrior nuns dont live long, the line where camila says "theyre never yours, they never last" perfectly shows the looming saddness and eventual ending to their arc in this season. How their love was, is and will be under the threat because any moment any one of them could die and the other would be left alone.

Of course these are all just my thoughts, and if you have different ones i happily welcome them in the comments, dms or even asks. <3

[distortedkilling]

Mahito's value in cursed spirits I feel like goes through its own evolution. Something I've mentioned in another post but I still have thoughts on.

While with his gaggle of fucks, he's much more influenced to keep in mind the bigger picture beyond himself. The understanding of 'sacrifice for the greater good or evil' in terms of the 'bust Sukuna out' plan is one he wholly has no issue with. He'll die for a cause, no biggie, right? He reflects the ugliest parts of humanity back upon them but he gets along with curses who embrace their true nature. A willingness to be awful and be all the things Mahito is born from - the only things he knows how to be. Even if for the majority of his role he only acts upon the hatred and the satisfaction he gets out of generating negativity (hatred, fear, mistrust, disgust especially) in others. It isn't until his end that he finally experiences what he has always been suspicious of (betrayal) and what he has always instilled in the majority of others (fear).

To circle back though, the willingness to die for a cause is on the table. Especially when the others are present and willing to do the same. His confidence that his squad can handle surviving Gojo I think highlights his regard for the others. This isn't in the sense of, 'oh, Mahito is baby girl - so much softer than we think!' because no, he's an awful evil little fuck. But even with all his fuckery, it's a shining moment that he has enough regard about some others.

And in addition to that, while I think Mahito sort of regards the loss of his chucklefucks in his own way, I don't think it's in the same sentimental manner humans do. It's more of an awareness that guides him into doubling down. The plan to get Sukuna is done with, tossed out and trashed. His gang is dead (save for Geto). The disaster curses all instilled in him a confidence that he was their best chance of turning the tide and giving curses the advantage in the world again.

Only now he has no bumper rails to guide him down the alley. Mahito is still young, he's selfish and impulsive - most of all, he's hungry for his own growth. To understand the entirety of his own soul. And I think that's where things get really interesting. The plan becomes becoming the best/worst curse he can be in order to succeed. It means going down a new path suddenly, without restraint, to accomplish the mission. There's nothing he can do about his crew being dead now, but he can become more. Just like they knew he could be.

I'm not going to sit here and say it's a selfless gesture on Mahito's behalf, that would be silly. But I think there's an interesting acknowledgement within it of his evolving maturity as he grows into himself very quickly.

In a way, Todo's speech to Itadori on lingering over the dead and how it can be insulting to them is something that can be applied to Mahito, too. Even if he could feel agony over the matter, it would still be disrespectful to the efforts vs just getting the fucking job done.

Then you also adopt further parallels into Mahito's growth such as:

I get the difference between s1 frame being domain-related, but the way the scenes are styled with Mahito looking up and Itadori pursuing down I really love. Because on one hand, Mahito is realizing an 'oh shit' moment because he knows his disadvantage (surprised by Itadori and because of that awareness regarding what is about to happening with Sukuna). Whereas on the other, he's grown more confident in his abilities to combat Itadori. Domain be damned - it won't be a repeat of last time.

I think Mahito, despite his youth, was put in charge specifically because of the type of curse he is. Not just human born and therefore extraordinarily potent to their enemies. More specifically, because they knew if anything happened to them they could count on Mahito's nature and desires, left to run rampant, to get things done.

And to be fair, they were right. He did. He succeeded in a lot of ways. I mean that both with the gang, on his own, and even after Geto slurped him up just by extension of Mahito's technique. In the end, curses were victorious even at the cost of all of them.

Mahito may have laughed and been thrilled at the brink of death in s1, but after his growth and truly being pushed he felt the same fear he has instilled in so many. He discovered the value of his own life and purpose and wanted to see it through. His acceptance to die for this cause was one that still existed, it was just more potent when the crew was alive. It was especially more potent when it was the idea of, "hey, we won! Sukuna is out! And now he's killing us, whatever, we did our job." Loss became much harder to face the reality of when it came from someone you hate (Itadori), then when it came from someone you liked but could never fully trust (Geto). As well, the loss of what had been just recently gained - the true understanding of himself.

I think it's very easy to consider Mahito as, "Evil Fuck" because that's what he is. But there's nuances to all things, and I feel like not acknowledging the bare minimum of that - as in, curses have souls, discredits their characterization and the entire point of them/their personalities.

[highlifeboat]

Honestly, considered way Sarah's sisters are, that's probably is the way they found out about it...

Now, I'm thinking how Sarah didn't really understood what happened that time, but it stayed strongly in back of they mind. And Sarah probably never told their sisters. Because they thought they wouldn't listen? Or wouldn't understand? Or would ridicule and laugh at them? Sarah wasn't sure. But they never told them.

Both Winnie and Mary noticed, that Sarah's behavior shifted somewhat. They've gotten way too interested in boys. But obviously they didn't connect the dots they couldn't see.

Over the years, memory faded. Staying only as strange pangs of fear and anxiety, whenever older man would get a bit too interested in them. Sarah never understood what those mean. And thought it's for the better, if they just ignored it.

It wasn't untill SarDaximus were sharing they "life expiriences and talk slowly shifted to "first time". Sarah's story was foggy and messy, and for some reason made them cry a bit. Max understood implications almost immediately.

I imagine, while Sarah didn't fully understand it was wrong, there was a lingering... gross feeling in the aftermath for a while. It wasn't a nice experience, but "maybe that's just what sex is"

I imagine the talk with Dani and Max is them going "Ah, I do not remember mine very well...." and Max and Daniela initially joking about it because it happened literally 300 years ago. Like "Well it can't have been that amazing then" type stuff. And while Sarah kind of laughs with them, they start getting this ball of anxiety in their stomach thinking about it. Like a deep rooted fear.

Mind you, Daniela and Max both have generally fond memories of their first times. Like Daniela's was with a maid she had loved at the time, and while Max's was technically a fling and maybe a little bitter sweet, it wasn't bad. Nothing like Sarah's (though Max has his own experience with that type of stuff.)

And when Sarah starts their story, Max is already a little weirded out. "He was an older man. He said I was pretty. He gave me a lot of compliments.. He was big. Very big...." And it just gets more off as they go. It takes a little longer for it to hit Daniela, but she can see the way Sarah's body language is changing. How they start to shift and wrap themself in their cloak. They're clearly getting uncomfortable and maybe talking about it is starting to bring the memory back.

But they still don't fully register it as something bad, pushing through the anxiety while explaining it. So they don't understand why Maxand Daniela are getting so upset.

And Max and Daniela just wanna pull them into a hug. They do think Sarah should know what happened and that it was bad, though.

[thatgirl4815]

Elle..do we know anything about sandray endgame in the OF novel? ‘Cause atp i am 🥲✨SCARED✨

What is happening?? Ofts was going fine up until ep10 and ✨ep11✨ happens. What is jojo thinking?Why did they add Boeing in the penultimate episode. This should have happened during the halloween episode. Then this might have added much more sense.

Boeing: ep10:going after topmew;ep11:going after sandray;ep12:potentially going after boston(if the preview is correct) LIKE WTF IS THIS??!!

1. I am happy for bostonnick with whatever is going on for them(but i wanted an open relationship for them)

2. Topmew topmew topmew I have so many things to say about them like i am happy mew gave him another chance. (Not to make this about me But my ex was a cheater and i gave them a chance though we were happy most of the time i was paranoid if they might cheat again and it didnt end well..so this might be a ‘me’ problem)

3. Cheum babied him just like that, the girl who judges everyone and their mama for everything doesnt feel like what atom said and did is probelmatic????!!! Boston might have gone to jail!!!!

4. SANDRAY. Oh i am trying to collect proper words to write about them.. 💕BOYFRIENDS 💕they are painfully in love with each other😭 but sand baby ily i really do but wtf happened to youu!!i know you might have some lingering feelings about boeing(🤮)and thats okay but dont send away ray your BOYFRIEND and then go and talk to boeing(🤮)

OMG WHERE IS THIS GOING???HOW IS EP12 GONNA END??WE HAVE TOO MANY PROBLEMS TO SOLVE!!ARE WE REALLY GETTING SEASON2???ATP I AM NOT GONNA BE HAPPY WITH AN OPEN ENDING FOR SANDRAY I NEED NEED NEED HAPPY HAPPY BOYFRIEND SANDRAY

Unpopular opinion:they should have ended this with ep10 if they wanted to add boeing in the last 2 episodes

I am really so sorry for ranting so much i wanted to vent my anger somewhere🙏🙏

Love you lots!!❤️

I do not know anything about the novel besides a few snippets I've seen translated, but those are all of scenes we've already seen in the series. And I'm glad for that, because even though the anticipation is killing me, getting spoiled would honestly ruin the whole experience for me (and so close to the end would be heartbreaking).

I have to think that Jojo and the rest of the crew/writers know that adding an ex, particularly at the end of a series, is very common and--imo--is almost always a needless way of stirring up drama. The TopBoeingMew conflict was resolved fairly early in the ep, and I wasn't at all surprised with the way Boeing pursued Sand, but Sand's reaction still bothers me. I take it the writers are using the BoeingSandRay plot to 1) create conflict in SandRay's relationship after they've already resolved their other issues and 2) connect that conflict to Sand personally, seeing as many of the conflicts in SandRay's relationship have been from Ray's side of things.

It's certainly an interesting approach to use Sand's reaction to Boeing as further proof that he doesn't know how to no to people, even those that have hurt him most. While it's true that he didn't reciprocate Boeing's advances or say anything to suggest he was all for them, he also just allowed it to happen. Given what Boeing did to him and the state of his relationship with Ray, I find this behavior just generally odd. It's not entirely out of character, but...it is to some degree.

I'm pleasantly surprised that Nick is portrayed as way less pathetic in his relationship with Boston now. Yes, he was eager to get back with Boston last episode, but he's not groveling at his feet the way he was before. He even expresses hesitation over being in a relationship with Boston when he's going to move away soon. Interested to see if that dynamic will remain consistent or if Boeing will screw things up. (Also, about Cheum, I'm also quite frustrated that she brushes Atom's behavior to the side like it's nothing. Like that was a serious accusation people. Why are we acting like it's nothing??)

I'm glad we got that scene of Top crying to Mew and the discussion of paranoia and distrust in their relationship. I think they've established some healthy communication in the wake of Top's betrayal. This is a personal thing, and it's a valid reaction, but something about Mew's behavior towards Top at the beginning of the episode was incredibly annoying to me. First of all, using Boeing to make Top jealous is just stooping to Top's level, so I'm glad Mew quickly moved on from that. But something about Mew's expressions when talking to Top strike me as so entitled. Mew as a character rubs me the wrong way more often than not, and I'm tempted to say it's all because of that sense of entitlement just ebbing off of him at all times. He's justified in being angry at Top, but every time he's onscreen I can't help but get annoyed.

Prayer circle for happy boyfriends SandRay in the finale!! I'm a bit scared but still hopeful that once this Boeing mess is sorted out, they'll be okay. They were just fine until he came back, which tells me that once he's removed from the situation, they'll go back to being happy and in love. I choose to believe the best. 😊🥲 <3