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lebizcanada20 · 5 months
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Express Entry vs PNP: Which one should I apply to?
Express entry & Canadian provincial nominees represent the 2nd largest channels for new arrivals every year into Canada, among the many other programs run by immigration refugees citizenship Canada.
That means that up to 220,770 newcomers will arrive in Canada via these two channels in 2024 out of a total of 485,000 immigrants into the country.
However, for people who want to migrate to Canada, they may ask themselves: should I file my profile under Express Entry or Base PNP? It is worth noting that both routes have their own merits. In this section we shall look at how you can make your choice between basic and enhanced PNPs.
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What is Express Entry?
Canada’s major immigration routes include the Express Entry application management system.
For instance, in 2024, Express Entry will be the largest single way for immigrants into Canada. These programmes are intended to bring in about 110,700 permanent residents to the country.
Each of these three programs has at least one individual requirement which must be met before a person can provide a profile for inclusion in the pool of potential candidates for Express Entry. In case someone’s eligibility is verified and they submit their profiles under any of the available programs through Express entry, then such individuals become official Express Entry candidates who possess a profile in the pool.
When you submit your profile to Category based express entry Pool, all candidates have been assigned Comprehensive Ranking System (CRS) scores based on human capital factors like work experience and other characteristics.
Now, applicants should wait for a Canada Express Entry draw (either a general draw or a program specific one) that has the minimum CRS score corresponding to their CRS score in order to receive an initiation- apply (ITA)- application. After submitting successfully, an Express entry Alberta profile will be valid for twelve months with the candidate having the option of  z express & re-submitting it after expiry.
On receipt of an ITA, candidates become applicants and present their PR application within sixty days from the day they were invited by the government to apply. Upon approval of this application, immigrants are given permanent residence and can live in Canada. More details about Express Entry can be found on our dedicated webpage.
This is possible through special Provincial Nominee Program (PNP) streams known as enhanced streams. These are different from standalone or Base PNP streams (more on Base PNP streams…).
Enhanced streams nominate individuals to submit an enhanced PNP application to the province or territory through invitation from the Federal Express Entry pool or from the provincial/territorial pool of eligible candidates. Those who receive provincial nominations obtain an additional 600 CRS points, which boost their chances of obtaining ITA from the Federal Government. Find our dedicated webpage here to help you understand more about enhanced PNP streams.
What are Base Provincial Nominee Programs (Base PNPs)?
Base PNPs are not Express Entry-aligned streams that are handled by a given province or territory. Such streams need separate applications and have different eligibility criteria (more on this later).
Provinces and territories can nominate eligible individuals under Base Provincial Nominee Programs (or simply Base PNPs) as one way of responding more directly to local demographic and labour market needs.
Each Canadian province and territory (except Nunavut which is also self-governing but does not have its own specialised immigration programs, and Quebec) has its own PNP. The eligibility depends on the particular program one applies for,
Lack of access to reading and writing put blind people at a serious disadvantage in nineteenth-century society. Text was one of the primary methods through which people engaged with culture, communicated with others, and accessed information; without a well-developed reading system that did not rely on sight, blind people were excluded from social participation (Weygand, 2009). While disabled people in general suffered from discrimination, blindness was widely viewed as the worst disability, and it was commonly believed that blind people were incapable of pursuing a profession or improving themselves through culture (Weygand, 2009). This demonstrates the importance of reading and writing to social status at the time: without access to text, it was considered impossible to fully participate in society. Blind people were excluded from the sighted world, but also entirely dependent on sighted people for information and education.
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chuluoyi · 10 months
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✎ wife
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- gojo satoru x reader
in which the new batch of first years are unaware that their eccentric teacher's wife is the pretty woman roaming the school grounds
genre: fluff, crack, gojo being a silly little menace as always, yuji and nobara are confused, an attempt at humor, lovesick gojo, mention of breastfeeding
note: it’s so silly but i had fun writing this! based on a request by anon (thank you!) but i tweaked it a bit and partly inspired by this fanart. reader is also a teacher at jujutsu high and has a baby with gojo—loosely a continuation of protect
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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"Take that off immediately!"
"Kyaaah~! Yuji is here, you pervert!"
Yuji was a laughing mess. Megumi and Nobara collectively sighed. Nanami attempted to retrieve his once-immaculate suit, now a crumpled mess, from the one and only Gojo Satoru, who found humor in stealing his signature attire and impersonating the stern-faced Nanami in front of his fresh batch of first years.
"He is incorrigible," Nobara grumbled, her eyes slitting. They said that he was a strong sorcerer, possibly the strongest there was, but she found it really hard to believe.
Megumi threw her a deadpan stare. With many years of putting up with this kind of antics under his belt, he pitied her for not knowing that this was far from the worst. "Yeah, he is."
"How does anyone ever put up with him?"
That was actually a good question. "We don't..." Megumi paused, recalling each and every occasion where he tried to do so. "His wife is probably the only one who can."
Nobara sputtered, spinning towards him. "What the—wife? That annoying man has an actual, living, breathing wife?"
"Who? Gojo-sensei?" Yuji chimed in, jumping into the conversation, leaving the supposedly two adults in their catfight. Nanami was still clawing to get his suit back, and Gojo continued to giggle and evade him, playfully running away.
Nobara scoffed. "I bet the woman just married him for the money. He comes from prestigious clan, yes? That must be it."
Yuji felt his eyes would pop out of its sockets. "What are you talking about, Kugisaki!? What woman—"
"Shut up, Itadori! Don't be too loud!"
Nobara and Yuji's unharmonious ruckus irritated Megumi to the bone, and he decided that the best course of action now was to leave them all in the dust. With a glare and a shake of his head, he stalked away.
And thus the two new first years were left with half-truths that would lead them into a major misadventure later that day—
—which happened when they spotted Nanami with you, whom they were still unfamiliar with.
They were convinced that Gojo’s wife must be some sort of boring tramp eyeing his wealth and not this positively radiant, mature woman, and so ruling that possibility out, they positively swooned at the sight before them.
"He's irresponsible, egotistical—" snippets of Nanami's frustrated words conveyed enough to paint a picture of Gojo's character. He was definitely ranting about Gojo to you.
"Is that Nanamin's wife?" Yuji mused, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "She is so pretty..."
"They... look cute together," Nobara hummed with dreamy eyes, and then looked at Yuji sharply. "And yes, she's indeed pretty, but know your place, Itadori!"
"I know!"
Based on how the two of you interacted, they concluded that you must have been close, with the way Nanami visibly relaxed around you, and not as formal as he was with anyone else. They highly suspected that the two of you were married, as you wore a ring, which was the ultimate sign.
"And how's the baby?" Nanami asked then, directing the question to you with a smile on his face, prompting surprised gasps from both Yuji and Nobara.
You were glowing, to say the least, and when you let out a small giggle at his question, even both students couldn't miss the way your expression exuded pure happiness. "He is well. Ah, I really wanted to bring him along too, but he was a little messy after eating so I left him at home. You can see him later…"
Yuji gaped. "So it's true..."
"Oh my gosh... and they have a baby." Nobara almost squealed.
And that sealed it. The headline of the day: Nanami is married to this stunning woman wandering the school grounds.
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So imagine their utter shock when the second time they found you, you were with Gojo, and he was shamelessly snogging you in the hallway.
“Why are you here?” Gojo was breathless after the soul-sucking kiss he smothered you. His tone remained playful yet carried a clear undertone of concern. "You're still on maternity leave. I'll make sure Yaga knows that."
“Satoru,” you whined, and the use of his given name made Yuji and Nobara gasp in disbelief. “I’m perfectly okay and I don’t need to breastfeed anymore. I should start getting back to work.”
Nobara seemed to finally understand the implication. But Yuji didn’t. His mind flitting from one scandalous idea to another—
Gojo-sensei seducing Nanamin’s wife? Nanamin’s wife cheating on him with Gojo-sensei?
In the brief period he spent with Gojo, Yuji realized that he didn't exactly have a reputation for decency. So despite himself, he could only muster up this one word: “Homewrecker. Homewrecker!”
Yuji’s shriek took all three of you by surprise, and now both you and Gojo were aware of his presence.
“You absolute idiot,” Nobara hissed, face-palming.
“Oh, Yuji? Nobara?” Gojo genially asked, his concern towards you quickly dissolved into a meaningful smirk on his face. “And what do you mean by—?”
Yuji yelped. “You! You are! You’re trying to seduce Nanamin’s wife!”
Silence. Gojo’s eyes twitched beyond his blindfold. You blinked. Nobara wanted to save herself from the second-hand embarrassment. And his loud voice caught the attention of Megumi too, who was close by.
“You seem to be mistaken. First of all, Nanami isn’t married,” Gojo said with a strained voice, maintaining his smile. He then gestured at you, showing you off with pride. “And this here, is my wife.”
“Y-your wife?!” Yuji exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger. “H-how?! I saw her with Nanamin! Talking about a baby—”
“That would be my baby.”
“But how?!”
“Yuji, do you want me to give you a crash course in baby-making—”
“Satoru!”
You sent him a glare and turned to the young first years with a smile. "You must be the new first years? I’m Y/N, and I’m in charge of the second years.” You gestured towards your husband. “And please, ignore most things he says. He’s a bit crass, and if you ever feel he's harassed you, don't hesitate to report it to me."
“Wifey! How could you!”
“Shut up, Satoru! You’re embarrassing yourself!”
“What are you doing here?” Megumi inquired with a deep frown, getting between Yuji and Nobara as they stared at Gojo in total bewilderment.
Yuji exclaimed in disbelief, pointing at you. “Fushiguro! Gojo-sensei’s wife is a beauty!”
“…I know that already.”
Nobara whipped her head towards him. "You knew?! Since when?!"
“They… took me in.”
“THEY WHAT?!”
Gojo grinned at their chorus of surprise. “And what a fine boy he turns out to be, eh?”
Megumi scowled, but Gojo wasn’t bothered at all. If anything, what offended him was—
"What makes you think my dear wife here belongs to Nanami instead of me?" he joked with a mock scoff, earning an eye roll from you.
Nobara and Yuji blurted out their thoughts simultaneously.
“They look good together?”
“Nanamin is dependable?”
Gojo gasped dramatically, one hand flying to his mouth. "So, not only do I not look good with her, but I also don't seem dependable enough?" He turned to you with the most aghast expression. “Tell me that isn’t true—”
You shot him a withering look, deadpanning, “Actually, you might be.”
And Gojo clutched his chest, letting out an anguished cry.
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Epilogue
“Satoru… come on, you know I was joking.”
Your dramatic ass of a husband had his head on your lap, hugging your torso tight. The pout on his face hadn’t faded a bit ever since he was done with his class, and now on your marital bed, he was clinging to you with all of his might.
He shook his head petulantly, clicking his tongue. “You’ve embarrassed me in front of my students. You’re so mean!”
You sighed. “I’m sure you have made a fool out of yourself far often. This is insignificant.”
“Hmph! How could you say that?! I don't care if it's me, but I can't believe that it's coming from you! I shower you with my undivided love each and every day!”
“Yeah, yeah…”
Somehow seeing him like this made your heart lurch. He reminded you so much of your baby boy who was sleeping right in the next room that you couldn't resist smiling and pinching his cheeks.
“Okay, okay. My husband is handsome, looks good with me and definitely someone I can rely on,” you relented, and like a lightbulb going off, Satoru suddenly beamed so wide that you were certain his cheeks hurt.
“That’s more like it! Now, now, there’s only one way that can prove how responsible I am! Let me just fill you up with another baby—”
You smacked him on the head.
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joelmillerisapunk · 4 months
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How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz
Joel Miller x reader
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Masterlist
Wordcount
Summary: The enemies to lovers/one bed/forced close proximity/light grumpy x sunshine/patrol partner fic no one asked for.
Warnings: 18+, unprotected p in v, grumpy joel, reader is called "the new kid", reader has breasts but no physical description. It's more tension filled fluffy bickering than smut, but I couldn't help adding a little drop of it in.
Notes: I've been so sick this weekend and was strictly supposed to read fic, but this idea came to me anyway, so I queued it up. I hope you like them as much as I loved writing this. Ty @saradika-graphics , what would we all do without you?
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Evening, Day 1
As you fasten the straps of your worn-out boots, the reality of your first patrol with Joel Miller, the cornerstone of Jackson's defence, settles in. You've heard stories about his exploits, and you're determined to prove your worth, that you're more than just another mouth to feed.
The morning air is crisp as you meet Joel by the gate. He grunts a greeting, his eyes scanning the perimeter with practiced vigilance. You fall into step beside him, the weight of your rifle a comfort against your shoulder.
"So, where are we headed?" you ask, trying to break the ice.
Joel's response is terse as he nods in front of himself. "Out there."
You nod, swallowing your disappointment and try again. "So, Joel, I've been studying the maps, and I think if we—"
"Save your breath. We'll check the traps, clear any infected, and get back before dark. That's the plan."
You nod, a little deflated but still hopeful. "Got it.” You press your lips together, taking his words to heart. 
The rest of the patrol is silent, save for the crunch of leaves underfoot and the occasional direction from Joel. You're vigilant, alert, and when you spot a tripwire, you quickly signal to him, earning a curt nod of approval. But upon returning to Jackson, you go to sign out in the patrol book, and your brows furrow at the entry Joel has already made. 
Patrol Log - Jackson Settlement
Date: Indeterminate, Outbreak
Pair: Joel Miller/The New Kid
Entry Signout: All clear minus the constant chatterbox that seems to think their voice is a homing beacon for every clicker in a ten-mile radius. - J
You didn't even talk that much. You roll your eyes and close the book a little too hard.
Evening, Day 2
You meet Joel at the gate once more, you notice a flicker of surprise in his eyes when you simply nod in greeting, foregoing the usual stream of words. He grunts in response. You're determined to show him you're not just the “constant chatterbox" he'd written about. You've spent the day replaying his words in your head, using them as fuel to prove your mettle.
"Up ahead, there's a blind spot by that old truck. Cover me while I check it out." 
You nod, taking up position without hesitation. 
As he disappears behind the rusted vehicle, your heart pounds in your chest. Every sound is amplified in the stillness of the evening—the distant hoot of an owl, the rustle of leaves in the wind, and then a low growl that sends a chill down your spine. An infected emerges from the underbrush, its eyes locked onto Joel's last known location. Without missing a beat, you take aim and fire—a clean shot that drops it instantly. 
Joel reappears just as quickly as he vanished, his expression one of mild surprise at your swift action. "Nice shot," he grunts begrudgingly before moving on as if nothing happened.  A small victory for you; perhaps he's not entirely immune to your efforts after all. 
The adrenaline from the encounter with the infected is still coursing through your veins as you and Joel continue your patrol. His rare compliment echoes in your mind, fueling your determination to prove yourself further. 
As you make your way back to Jackson, you can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. You've not only held your own but also protected Joel's back when it counted. 
Back at the settlement, you hurry to the patrol book before Joel can beat you to it.
Patrol with Grumpy McGrumpface complete. All infected cleared. Check back in a few days. And for the record, this chatterbox saved our asses tonight. Maybe next time, you'll  remember to check your blind spots—and your attitude.
You add a little smiley face next to your entry, a playful jab at his perpetual grumpiness.
As you walk away from the book, you glance back to see Joel reading your entry, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. It's a small crack in his tough exterior, and it gives you hope that there's more to Joel Miller than he lets on.
Evening, Day 3
The air is tense as you approach the gate, the familiar silhouette of Joel Miller waiting for you. There's a certain expectation hanging between you two, a silent challenge that has been building since your last patrol. You greet him with a nod, the same flicker of surprise in his eyes, quickly replaced by his usual stoic expression.
As you set out, the landscape feels different, almost as if it's holding its breath. You're more attuned to the subtle shifts in the wind, the way the light filters through the trees, and the distant sounds that could signal danger. You move with a newfound confidence, your steps sure and quiet, your senses heightened.
We're going to sweep the old high school today," Joel says, breaking the silence. It's the most he's volunteered about the day's plan, and you take it as a sign of trust, however small.
You acknowledge his words with a simple, "Understood," and follow him towards the dilapidated building that looms in the distance. The structure has seen better days, its windows shattered, the playground overtaken by nature, a haunting reminder of a world that once was.
As you approach, you signal for Joel to hold position while you scout ahead. You move with caution, your eyes scanning for any signs of movement. The silence is broken only by the creaking of a swing, swaying gently in the breeze.
You clear the perimeter, finding no immediate threats, and signal Joel to advance. Together, you methodically clear the classrooms, the gymnasium, and the cafeteria. 
As the sun begins its descent, casting long shadows across the desolate high school, you and Joel finish securing the premises. The tension between you has simmered down to a low hum. It's eerie how the remnants of childhood laughter still linger among the abandoned desks and faded educational posters. You can't help but wonder what became of the students and teachers who once filled these halls with life.
"All clear," you report, as you finish sweeping the last room, your voice echoing through the empty halls.
Joel grunts in agreement, his eyes lingering on the swing set outside, its melancholic creaking a stark contrast to the silence that now fills the school. "Let's head back. It's getting dark."
You nod, but as you turn to leave, a sudden storm rolls in, the sky turning an ominous shade of grey. The wind howls through the broken windows, whipping up leaves and debris in a frenzied dance. Within moments, the heavens open up, unleashing a torrential downpour that shows no signs of letting up.
"Damn it," Joel mutters under his breath, his gaze fixed on the rapidly deteriorating weather outside. "We ain't makin it back to Jackson in this."
Your heart sinks at his words. The high school isn't equipped for an overnight stay—at least not comfortably—and sharing close quarters with Joel Miller is an entirely different kind of danger than what you've faced so far today. But there's no other choice; safety comes first. You follow him to the least damaged classroom and start gathering materials to make it through the night: some old mats from the gym for bedding; whatever dry wood helps you start a small fire, and some canned food from what remains of the cafeteria's supplies. 
As night falls and darkness envelops your makeshift shelter, you can feel Joel's unease mirroring your own—two predators forced into an uneasy truce by circumstance. You both know that despite your differences and his gruff exterior, survival often requires uncomfortable compromises... like sharing body heat when temperatures plummet during stormy nights like these... like sharing a “bed” when there's only one dry spot left in an abandoned high school turned refuge from infected monsters lurking outside.
The storm outside rages on, its fury unabated, as the match from your hand hisses out against the wet concrete floor. The darkness inside seems to thicken and you can feel the cold creeping in, the dampness seeping through the layers of your clothing, chilling you to the bone.
Joel's silhouette is barely visible across the room, his frustration palpable in the heavy silence that follows the failed attempt to reignite the fire. The tension that had momentarily subsided now returns with a vengeance, amplified by the primal need for warmth and the instinctual fear of the unknown dangers lurking in the darkness.
Joel rummages through his bag, the sound of items being shuffled around punctuating the silence. He pulls out a small waterproof match case, flipping it open to reveal just three matches left inside. His fingers, roughened by years of survival and hardship, gingerly pick up the first match. The strike against the side of the box is sharp and swift, but the wind howling through the broken windows extinguishes it before it can catch. A second attempt meets with the same fate, and Joel's jaw clenches in frustration. "Damn it," he mutters under his breath, his voice barely audible over the storm. He looks at the final match with a mix of resignation and determination. "You know, if you were more careful, we'd have more to work with," Joel grumbles.
"Oh, so now you're worried about being more careful?" you retort, unable to keep the sarcasm out of your voice. "A little too late for that now ain't it Miller?” 
Joel glares at you, his eyes narrowing in the dim light. "I've been careful," he growls. He strikes the last match, shielding it from the wind with his hand. But again it fails, leaving you with no heat. 
You can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction at seeing Joel struggle. "Yeah, well, maybe you should've thought about that before we ended up in this situation," you say.
Joel shakes his head. "You think this is fun for me?" he asks. "Stuck in this godforsaken place with someone who can't stop talkin?”
You glare at Joel, his silhouette a dark shadow in the dim light. "You think I wanted this?" you snap back, frustration seeping into your words. "I'm here because I have to be, just like you."
Joel grunts in response, his gaze fixed on the remnants of the failed fire. "We don't have time for this," he says gruffly, standing up and brushing off his pants. "We need to conserve body heat."
Reluctantly, you both make your way to the makeshift bed, nothing more than a pile of old gym mats and whatever dry fabric you could scavenge and a small emergency blanket meant for one person. The thought of sharing such close quarters with Joel is unsettling, but survival trumps discomfort every time.
You lie down first, turning your back to him as he settles in behind you. The awkwardness of the situation is not lost on either of you. You can feel the heat radiating off his body despite the layers between you. As minutes pass in silence, save for the howling wind and rain lashing out, Joel shifts slightly behind you. His arm drapes over your side as he tries to find a comfortable position—and then his hand accidentally brushes against your breast. You stiffen instantly; it's an intimate contact that neither of you expected nor wanted under these circumstances. 
"Whoa! Watch it!" you exclaim indignantly, trying to wriggle away from his touch while still maintaining contact for warmth's sake—a delicate balance indeed under these cramped conditions.
Joel recoils as if he's been stung by a wasp. The tension in the room spikes, and for a moment, neither of you moves. Joel's breath hitches, and you can feel his body tense up behind you. The accidental touch has set off a chain reaction of awkwardness, and you're both acutely aware of the other's presence. "Sorry," Joel mumbles, his voice rough with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to..." His sentence trails off, lost in the sound of the rain pounding against the roof.
You nod, acknowledging his apology, but the damage is done. The line between survival and intimacy has been blurred, and the close proximity is playing tricks on your mind. You can't ignore the warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, or the fact that you're both very much alone in this abandoned high school.
Minutes tick by, and despite your best efforts to keep a respectful distance, the reality of your situation becomes increasingly apparent. The cold is seeping in, and the need for warmth can't be denied. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you find yourself leaning back into Joel, seeking the heat that his body is so eager to provide. He stiffens at the contact, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he cautiously wraps his arm back around you, pulling you closer. 
It's been a long time since either of you has felt the touch of another person, the comfort of human contact that goes beyond mere companionship.
Joel's breath is warm against your neck, and you can feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against you. It's a startling realization, but it's met with an unexpected surge of desire that you can't quite suppress. The knowledge that he's affected by your closeness is thrilling, and you can't help but wonder if he can sense the effect he's having on you as well.
The line between necessity and want is blurred, and in the end, it's the human need for connection that wins out. With the storm as your only witness, you turn to face Joel, your eyes meeting in the dim light. There's a silent question hanging between you, one that's answered with a soft, almost hesitant kiss. The kiss is an exploration, a rediscovery of a basic human need that has been long neglected. It's a slow burn, fueled by days of tension and the shared experiences that have brought you closer than either of you could have anticipated. Joel's hands find their way to your face, cradling it gently as he deepens the kiss, his tongue tracing the contours of your lips before slipping inside to meet yours in a dance that is both familiar and new.
The cold is forgotten as warmth spreads through your body, ignited by the friction between you. You find yourself pressing against him, seeking more contact, more heat. Your hands roam over his chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt. The sensation sends shivers down your spine, and a soft moan escapes your lips as Joel's fingers deftly undo the buttons of your shirt, revealing skin that is hungry for his touch.
There's an urgency building between you now—a primal need that cannot be ignored or denied any longer. Clothes are shed hastily; each piece removed reveals another patch of warm skin eager for exploration and connection
As the last of your clothes fall away, the cool air of the high school classroom is a stark contrast to the heat that radiates between you and Joel. His hands trace a path down your sides, exploring the curves of your body. The rough pads of his fingers leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake, and you can't help but arch into his touch, seeking more.
Joel's gaze meets yours, and there's a vulnerability in his eyes that you've never seen before. It's as if the walls he's built around himself are crumbling down, brick by brick, revealing the man beneath the hardened survivor. You reach up to cup his face, feeling the stubble scratch against your palms, grounding you in this moment—a moment that feels both surreal and more real than anything you've experienced in a long time.
With a tenderness that surprises you both, Joel lowers his lips to yours once more, kissing you deeply as he positions himself between your legs. The anticipation is palpable; every nerve in your body is attuned to his presence. As he enters you, there's a brief moment of discomfort followed by an overwhelming sense of fullness—a completion that transcends physicality. You move together in rhythm; each thrust is punctuated by gasps and moans that echo off the walls of the abandoned classroom. The world outside has ceased to exist; all that matters is this connection—this desperate need for closeness in a world gone mad.
Joel's pace quickens; his breath comes in ragged gasps against your neck as he drives into you with an urgency born of months—if not years—of pent-up desire and longing. You meet him thrust for thrust, your fingers digging into the muscles of his back as waves of pleasure crash over you both.
The tension builds within you like a storm gathering strength—a tempest that threatens to sweep away everything in its path until there's nothing left but raw sensation and pure ecstasy coursing through every fiber of your being until finally - release washes over you both in a rush of heat and sensation that leaves you gasping for air. The world around you fades away, replaced by the pulsating rhythm of your shared climax. It's a moment of pure, unadulterated bliss.
As the aftershocks subside, you find yourselves entwined in each other's arms, your head resting on his chest and the steady beat of Joel's heart is a comforting sound against the backdrop of the relentless storm outside. The cold is kept at bay by the warmth generated by your bodies, and for the first time since this ordeal began, you feel truly at peace. 
Eventually Joel's breath evens out as he falls into a deep sleep, his body relaxed and sated in a way you've never seen before. You take a moment to study his face—the lines etched by years of hardship softened in slumber, revealing a hint of the man he might have been under different circumstances. With gentle care, you extricate yourself from his embrace and pull on your clothes, intending to keep watch over the sleeping giant beside you.
The hours pass slowly; dawn is still a distant promise when you hear it—the unmistakable sound of movement outside your refuge. Your senses immediately go on high alert; adrenaline courses through your veins as you cautiously approach one of the broken windows, rifle at the ready. The storm has lessened but not enough to obscure the shapes moving in the pre-dawn gloom. Infected? Or something worse?
You glance back at Joel, still lost in sleep, and make a split-second decision. You won't let whatever danger lurks outside reach him while he's vulnerable. Steeling yourself, you slip out into the storm-ravaged landscape. The rain pelts against your skin, a relentless barrage that does little to dampen your resolve. You move with purpose, your eyes scanning the darkness for any signs of movement.
The high school grounds are eerily quiet, save for the occasional clap of thunder echoing in the distance. You keep low, using the remnants of the playground equipment as cover as you make your way towards the source of the disturbance. The last thing you want is to lead any potential threats back to Joel.
As you approach the perimeter of the school, you catch sight of a small group of infected, their grotesque forms illuminated by the occasional flash of lightning. They seem disoriented, their movements erratic as they struggle against the wind and rain. It's clear they're not here for you; they're simply passing through, driven by some primal instinct to seek shelter from the storm.
You take a deep breath, steadying your aim as you prepare to engage. The first shot rings out, echoing through the deserted schoolyard. One of the infected drops to the ground, its body convulsing before falling still. The others turn towards the sound, their milky eyes searching for the source of the threat.
You fire again, and then again, each shot carefully placed to conserve ammunition. The infected fall one by one, their bodies piling up in the mud as you advance, keeping the upper hand through sheer determination and skill. But as the last one drops, you hear a new sound—a low growl that sends a chill down your spine.
You turn just in time to see another infected emerging from the shadows, its jaws snapping hungrily as it charges towards you. You raise your rifle, but the mud beneath your feet gives way, sending you sprawling to the ground. The infected is on you in an instant, its weight pinning you down as it tries to bite through your rain-soaked jacket.
With a surge of adrenaline, you manage to free one arm and reach for the knife strapped to your belt. You drive the blade upwards, aiming for the infected's exposed throat. The creature gurgles in pain, its grip loosening just enough for you to wriggle free and deliver the killing blow.
Panting heavily, you push the infected's lifeless body off of you and take a moment to assess the situation. The immediate threat has been neutralized, but you're acutely aware that more could be drawn by the sound of the struggle. With no time to lose, you make your way back to the school, your heart pounding in your chest.
You slip back inside and secure the door as best you can. You turn around and see Joel is already awake, his eyes scanning the room as he reaches for his weapon. The sight of you, unharmed, brings a look of relief to his face, quickly replaced by a scowl. "Where the hell were you?" he demands, his voice rough with sleep and worry.
"I heard something outside," you explain, keeping your tone even. "I went to check it out."
Joel's expression darkens. "You should've woken me up, you could have gotten killed out there," he grumbles, his concern for your safety masked by his usual gruff demeanor.
"I didn't and you needed the rest," you reply, meeting his gaze. "Besides, I can handle myself.”
Joel's jaw clenches, and for a moment, you think he's going to argue. But then he just nods, acknowledging your capability even as his protective instincts chafe at the thought of you facing danger alone. "Next time, wake me," he repeats, his tone leaving no room for argument.
You can't help but smirk at the gruff concern in Joel's voice. There's a part of you that enjoys getting under his skin, challenging the walls he's built around himself. "You know, Joel," you say, your voice light but your eyes serious, "I think you might actually care about what happens to me."
Joel's scowl deepens, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes—something that looks a lot like vulnerability. "Don't get the wrong idea," he grumbles, looking away. "I just can't afford to break in a new partner."
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. "Sure, Miller. Keep telling yourself that." You walk over to where he's now sitting and nudge him playfully with your foot. "Admit it. You like having me around.”
Joel rolls his eyes, but the corners of his mouth twitch upwards in a reluctant smile. "You're alright," he concedes, his voice gruff. "But don't let it go to your head.”
You can't resist the urge to tease Joel a little more. "I think you protest too much, Joel Miller," you say with a playful grin. "I mean, first you can't stop complaining about my chatter, and now you're almost starting to sound... affectionate."
Joel's eyes narrow, but the ghost of a smile still lingers on his lips. "Don't push your luckp," he warns, his voice carrying a note of fondness that he's unable to fully conceal.
You lean in closer, lowering your voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You know, for someone who pretends not to care, you sure were... attentive last night," you say with a sly grin, your eyes dancing with mischief.
A flush creeps up Joel's neck, and for a moment, you think you might have pushed him too far. But then he chuckles—a low, rumbling sound that you feel more than hear. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" he says, shaking his head in mock exasperation.
You beam at him, feeling a sense of triumph. "Maybe," you admit, "but you like me anyway.”
As the first light breaks through the retreating storm, you and Joel prepare to leave the high school behind. You gather your belongings, exchanging quiet glances with Joel as you both acknowledge the shift in your relationship.
The journey back to Jackson is uneventful, the aftermath of the storm leaving the world outside quiet. You walk side by side, your boots crunching on the wet gravel. Joel seems more at ease, his usual stoic demeanor softened.
Upon your return to the settlement, the familiar sight of the gates brings a sense of relief. The guards nod in recognition as you pass.
You make your way to the patrol book, your fingers brushing against the worn pages as you prepare to document the latest entry. Joel watches you, his expression unreadable, as you pick up the pen and begin to write.
Patrol Log - Jackson Settlement
Date: Indeterminate, Post-Outbreak
Pair: Joel Miller/The New Kid
Entry Signout: Patrol complete. High school secured. Infected cleared. Storm provided unexpected overnight stay. No serious injuries to report. 
You pause for a moment, considering your next words carefully. With a small smile, you add a final note
Casualties: Zero. Zilch. Nada. Unless you count the ego of a certain grumpy individual who may or may not have been out-shot by yours truly.
You cap the pen and step back, allowing Joel to read your entry. His eyes scan the page, and you see the ghost of a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as he reads your postscript. He doesn't say anything, but the look he gives you speaks volumes. 
As you turn to leave, Joel's hand catches yours, his grip firm yet gentle. 
Hey," Joel says as he pulls you closer. "I, uh... I don't know how to do this," he admits, his gaze dropping to where your hands are joined.
You give his hand a reassuring squeeze, offering him a small, encouraging smile. "Do what, Joel?" 
He takes a deep breath, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. "This," he repeats, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. "The... talking about feelings stuff." 
You can't help but chuckle at his attempt to articulate his feelings, the corners of your mouth curling up into a smile. "Is this the part where you tell me that despite your better judgement, you've grown fond of me?" you tease, squeezing his hand in return.
Joel rolls his eyes, but there's a hint of amusement in his expression. "Somethin like that," he admits gruffly, releasing your hand to run a hand through his disheveled hair. "You've got guts, I'll give you that. And maybe... maybe I don't mind the chatter as much as I let on.”
Your heart skips a beat at his words, the gruff admission meaning more to you than any grand declaration of love ever could "Well then," you say, stepping closer to him, "I guess this means we're stuck with each other."
Joel's response is a low chuckle. "Yeah," he agrees, his hand finding its way to the small of your back in a gesture that feels both new and familiar all at once. "I suppose it does.”
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kisses4reid · 6 months
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convenient pt.3 | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,
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pt. 1 | pt.2 (you cannot read this without prior reading)
summary - spencer likes the girl from the convenience store
warnings - awkward conversations and long silences, both of them being hopeless romantics, allergies/sickness
genre - fluff!!! college!fem!reader x earlyseasons!spencer
a/n - thank you for the love and support on this series. it goes without saying i appreciate all of you all 🫶 thank u @raevyng for the cameo. sorry this is short, it’s either i upload this part or i make y’all wait for another week - i like you guys too much to do that.
“good job on you’re stem cell report, y/n. it was very informed and unique. i liked the, now who was it… william blake quote you included!” the teacher spoke before a class of 60. it was back to teaching new information before the next assessment, you were just about finished typing the professor’s notes before she spoke up. the mention of your name nearly made you jump.
a few of the students looked back up at you, some looking around because they had no clue who you were. you liked it better that way.
you also had no idea who william blake was.
“oh- um. thanks.” you say barely above a whisper. professor raena simply smiled and pushed back her shoulder length bob from her face. she started talking again, so did your friend.
“thanks? the professor who’s known to call out people for their incompetence more than smile in the classroom just praised you. that’s all you had to say?”
maybe logan wasn’t your friend per say. maybe she was just someone who sat next to you the first class and also happened to be your neighbour. she was stubborn and straight-forward, insanely intelligent and also smelt great. but she was caring, and gave you tough love when you needed it.
you glanced at her and smiled awkwardly, “i didn’t have much time to think about an answer.”
“i spend most of my time thinking about what i’d say to professor raena if she ever complimented me.”
“that’s because your-“ you suddenly muffle a cough into your hand, “obsessed with her.” you bring out a small packet of tissues from your bag and wipe your nose, nose reddening. logan leans slightly away from you and you roll your eyes.
“you’re not going to catch anything, it’s just allergies.” you lean back and try to continue typing notes but logan continues,
“you should go home, have some medicine, get some sleep.”
“i can’t, i’ve got work.” you whispered, a man in front of you turning around to shoot you with a side eye.
“you’ve told me multiple times that your manager wouldn’t care if you stole from the store. i’ve also told you many times i also don’t care.”
“yeah well… i like working there, that’s all.”
she rolls her eyes again, and waves you off, her long brown hair blocking her disappointed expression from you.
you stayed loyal to your job for two nights, for nothing. sure you got paid, and sure you got to steal some strawberry milk to ease your throat for a couple of minutes, but it felt boring. you actually started to file through the month old magazines you sold for double the price of a new one. you almost made it a third day without dying of allergies (and another secret feeling of sickness you constantly ignored), before you decided you were over it.
you stood up, flipped the door sign so the word ‘open’ faced you, and turned off half of the fluorescent lights before someone was suddenly in the corner of your eyes. spencer was opening the door so quickly you thought you were being robbed, you wouldn’t have seen him if not for the bell ringing on his entry.
“y/n.” he panted, watching your fingers hover over the last light switch. there was two lights left flickering softly above the front door and the check out desk. he looked stoic in the light, dressed in a grey sweater a little too big for him (like his mother had bought it for him telling him he’d grow into it) and black slacks. he seemed to have gotten a trim, his hair just under his ears now. “you don’t close until 1.”
he was confused, eyes wandering with a light hint of relief. like he was happy he didn’t miss you.
“yeah.” is all you said before you turned away from the light switch and returned to the register, assuming he would get his usual. but he didn’t keep walking, he just turned his body to face you. his eyes were expectant, delirious in a way like he needed something from you.
it was silent before the tension literally forced you to speak, “um. i need to close the store before i pass out. so i can uh… get home alive.” you look down and realise the pile of tissues before you was making a mountain, quickly grabbing them and stuffing them in an over filled bin.
“um.” a cat caught his tongue, he looked down to his feet.
spencer was sitting in his desk chair, scrolling on his government provided computer through forums and websites on ‘how to ask out a girl.’ not realising a majority of his team was reading them as well. he heard a small, familiar giggle behind him, quickly closing the tab and turning his head to be met with many other faces. jj slapped garcia on the shoulder with a smile, who’s hand was over her mouth, morgan and emily also smiling. spencer sighed and was about to cover for himself before morgan stepped in,
“look, pretty boy. no websites or article is ever going to teach you how to ask out a girl. they know nothing.”
emily joined, “yeah, none of those things are going to work. i mean, one of those said ‘don’t take no for an answer’. that’s straight up harassment.” she chuckled. morgan walked forward and placed a hand on spencer’s shoulder.
“all you have to do is talk. learn to what she likes, and be confident.”
“that’s easy for you to say.” spencer mumbled.
“who is this girl anyways? who’s taking our genius away from us?” garcia asked, today her hair was adorned with green themed pieces and a small pink flower clip.
spencer couldn’t help but let the corners of his mouth perk up when he thought about the girl who worked at the convenience store. the girl who’s report honestly impressed him. the girl who knew his total without looking at the register. the girl who called him good looking without noticing, like it slipped off of her tongue with no second thought. “just someone.”
you were not just someone.
“yeah you should get home. you look terrible.” spencer’s eyes widened as you raised an eyebrow, “no i mean- not terrible- you never look or have ever looked terrible- i just meant today- no you- like you’re sick and obviously- i mean you don’t obviously look terrible- it’s just uh…” he nodded at himself after he noticed a smile creeping onto your face. “you know what i mean.”
“i know i look terrible, thank you.” he was slowly walking up to the register.
“you really should go home, i shouldn’t keep you here because of some coffee.”
you eyes stung and were puffed in redness, you nose dried yet running, eyebrow lines permanent from warding off a migraine. any other customer you would stay for, but you felt less guilty with him. not because you didn’t care, because you knew he did.
“yeah, thank you.” you grabbed your bag, put your empty water bottle into it and walked over to the lights, turning off the last ones, leaving you both in darkness. spencer was waiting for you, quite creepily as he was basically just a block of void. “you sure you don’t need your 3 minute lasagne?” you joked, and he smiled.
“no, this is fine.”
this? them? you thought this man was articulate.
you opened the door with a key-accessed button that automatically locked it after it closed, and walked into the warm streetlight with spencer.
“bye spencer.” you looked up to him only to find his eyes already on you. his face was plain of emotion, except maybe it was just the lighting that made you think he looked disappointed. not at you, at himself. he was silent, hands making their way into his pockets. it was a habit, you had learned. “what’s wrong spencer?” you asked softly, sniffling immediately after.
it was cold, the wind let a stray piece of hair cross your stuffy features.
“do you like old bookstores, y/n?”
you blinked, taken aback. “yeah. i like old bookstores.” you huddled into your sweater, a darker grey compared to his with a large font displaying your university.
“okay, goodbye y/n. see you tomorrow.” he hurried off into his car and you followed him with you eyes in curiosity.
you were already walking away before he could turn around and ask you something, he felt like he had missed his chance. but there would be more. spencer closed his eyes in frustration and took a breath, starting his car before texting the team’s group chat.
“Attempt One failed. 😐👎”
there was a string of messages after but he didn’t read them. all he could think about was the percentage of people who die alone, and then the percentage of people who are like you.
the next night he appeared at the normal time, around nearly 11pm. but he wasn’t the only one, logan was there with you, studying behind you on the floor.
she was bored, and needed to get out of her room, and the only person she knew well enough was you. there in her mens pyjama pants and an over-sized shirt that read ‘RIP Princess Diana’ with a photo of owen wilson on it, her computer warmed her lap and made a soft whirling sound the in the background.
“hi y/n.” spencer waved, he felt bad about last night. you were barely walking straight when you left and he could tell you wouldn’t get out of your ‘work clothes’ (whatever you wanted to wear with a vest over it) before falling onto your mattress, and he drove away. he didn’t even offer to take and walk you home, let alone give you a ride. but his hands were sweating and his heart thumping in his ears, and he couldn’t think straight.
“oh, hi spencer.” you turned from your own textbook splayed on the counter beside you to see spencer and his tall self. a bag of apples, a 2 minute bolognese container, and a bag of coffee. you scan them, weigh the apples, and watch him.
he wasn’t meeting you eyes. you furrowed your eyebrows for a second before telling him his total with a sniffle.
“i’m sorry for not driving you home,” he lifted his head, a piece of chocolate brown hair crossing his left eye, “or walking you home. or making sure you made it home safe.”
you widened your eyes slightly and sat still before spencer cleared his throat and continued, “i was nervous, about being around you. and my friends- my colleagues- told me i need to be more confident around you so.”
logan had stopped writing, glancing through her bangs up at you both. your mouth was slightly agape before you realised how stupid you looked and how awkward you were making it.
“oh- no it’s okay spencer, you don’t have to say sorry. i was- i’m fine. um,” you tilt your head with the corner of your lips quirking up with little resistance, “you talk about me to your friends?”
spencer nodded, put his hands in his pockets and thought for a second. he wished there was a better place to do this, a better person to take over for him.
all you have to do is talk.
spencer is great at talking.
“did you know that you could be scrolling for seven weeks before you can reach the end of ‘how to ask a girl out’ results on google? i was scrolling for a long time but then my friends told me to just talk and be confident, but i’m only good at one of those thing. so i was trying to ask you out last night but then i- well i failed basically, it isn’t my strong suit,” he took a breath, “so basically i’m saying sorry for not asking you out and not driving you home.”
it was silent, even a customer stopped humming.
“and also your allergy medication isn’t strong enough for your symptoms.” he glanced down to a white and blue box by your hand. you looked down, seeing logan in the corner of your eyes, hand covering her face.
“spencer-“
“dude just ask her out.”
spencer’s face dropped, and he looked over the counter to find another woman sat down, a cringed out expression on her face. his nervousness increased after he realised this wasn’t as private a conversation as he thought. wiping his hand on his vest, he continue with a gulp,
“no i can’t. not here, um. i’ll see you on monday. and i promise i’ll uh- be better? i’ll try again, so. okay see you on monday.” he quickly took his groceries and walked off quite speedily. you watched him walk away and then once he was out of sight, you simply stared at the box of allergy medication on the counter.
logan groaned in the background and said something about growing balls, but it was tv silence for you.
you didn’t know how to go out with someone, your last relationship was in your first year of high school with a guy who thought baby’s came out of a woman’s bum. not that spencer meant he wanted a relationship, no it could just be a friend ‘going out’. totally not romantic.
you slump and stuff your face in your hands. you didn’t care if you hadn’t dated for however long, he didn’t seem to be a man-whore at all. you just cared about how you were actually going to say yes to a man you’ve only talked to inside of an off-brand convenience store on the night shift.
you muffle a scream before the same silent customer placed a carton of milk on the counter.
“$2.50.” you grumble.
you carried logan’s computer bag as she took out a box of strawberry pocky on the sidewalk. the store was locked, the air was crisp, the light was flickering. you didn’t say much until logan couldn’t stand it anymore.
“you know when you’re this silent it’s actually pretty nice, i like peaceful walks home.” you nodded, and continued your racing thoughts with your line of vision stuck on the concrete as you both walked the block to your apartments. she sighed, “but it’s odd. you love talking. a guy likes you and you go mute?”
“his name is spencer, he does something dangerous for a living, he likes old books and drinks a lot of coffee. he gets home late at night, looks skinny but can lift a box of flour above his head with ease. he’s insanely smart and reads poetry, and helped me with my stem cell report.”
you look over at logan who looks a little disgusted but mainly confused.
“he helped me lift that box of flour without me asking. i have no idea who william blake is. i have no idea how he managed to put poetry in a biology report, and i have no idea how he can admit he’s going to ask me out and then not ask me out. his favourite colour is purple, his favourite fruit is grapes but he buys apples because they’re cheaper. and his name is… spencer.”
logan stopped in her tracks, making you copy. you flung out of whatever trance you were stuck in and raised an eyebrow at logan, “what?”
“what? oh no i don’t know, maybe you’ve just never told me about a man you happen to know a lot about, and yet don’t know anything about. you sound insane- not in the ‘loony-bin way’, in the romcom way. it’s disgusting.”
you both continued to walk, climbing the stairs to the foyer of your building before she took back her bag and gave you the pocky, mumbling, “you need these more than me.”
the elevator ride was mostly silent, and that continued before you both unlocked your apartment doors right beside each other.
“you need to ask him out, if he doesn’t do it first.” she entered her apartment before you could speak, let alone think.
suddenly your apartment felt lonely.
so did spencer’s.
he was cross legged on his plush couch on a call with penelope garcia, she was squealing every second minute trying to create a plan for spencer to ask someone out.
“spence, you’re making this very hard. how am i supposed to be your coach if i only have half a team?”
“you can find someone’s address with half a fingerprint, i think you’ll be fine.” he takes a bite of his 2 minute bolognese.
“that takes the fun out of it. i can only give you tips if i know her personality.”
spencer sighed, and thought for a second, he could practically hear penelope’s growing smile knowing she had won.
“her names y/n.” garcia squealed. “she’s smart and pretty. and her favourite colour’s purple and she studies biology. she knows my groceries off my heart and she’s allergic to pollen. she works late at night at the convenience store two blocks away from my apartment building, and she likes old book stores. she’ll be introverted around an extroverted person, but extroverted around an introverted person. she can read my expressions faster than anyone else, she tries out different hairstyles when nobody’s in the store, and she’s funny.” spencer smiles to himself, “she’s pretty.”
“you mentioned that, lover boy.”
pt.4
taglist: @jeffswh0re @hypotheticallyspeakingwitch @trashmonstersara @wannabewolf @evysian @navs-bhat @mywellspringoflife @daphnesutton @smalls155 @amortencjja @anuncalledbridge @belsreid @redmurderbaby @tatilolz @criminalmindsandhouse @forensicuntology @nomajdetective @ilikw @screechingphantommaker
1K notes · View notes
xxspringmelodyxx · 2 months
Text
"𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊"
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┗━━⊱ 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒇𝒂𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 ⊰━━┛
⊱ 𝑰𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔: 𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒖 𝑮𝒐𝒋𝒐, 𝑺𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒖 𝑮𝒆𝒕𝒐, 𝑲𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝑵𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒊, 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒐 𝑲𝒂𝒎𝒐, 𝑻𝒐𝒋𝒊 𝑭𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐, 𝑺𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒏𝒂 𝑹𝒚𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 ⊰
✩⁺₊✩☽⋆Warnings: Swearing ⋆☾✩⁺₊✩
𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕
✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 @𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓9 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏! 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 <3333
─═✧✧═─ 𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕦 𝔾𝕠𝕛𝕠 ─═✧✧═─
It had been an unusually quiet afternoon when your sister showed up at your apartment unannounced. You were out running errands, leaving Satoru alone at home. He was lounging on the couch, scrolling through his phone, when the doorbell rang. Expecting it to be you, he opened the door with a bright smile, only for it to falter slightly upon seeing your sister standing there.
"Satoru," she greeted, a hint of something unreadable in her eyes. "Can I come in? I need to talk to you about something important."
Though slightly wary, Satoru stepped aside, allowing her entry. She walked in, clutching a folder tightly against her chest. They settled in the living room, your sister on the edge of the couch and Satoru casually reclining in an armchair.
"What's this about?" Satoru asked, his tone polite but guarded.
Your sister took a deep breath, as if steeling herself for what she was about to do. "Satoru, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but you deserve to know the truth about your wife."
His eyes narrowed slightly, a flicker of unease passing through them. "Go on," he said, gesturing for her to continue.
With a dramatic sigh, she opened the folder and pulled out a stack of photos and printed text messages. "I found these. I thought you should see them."
Satoru leaned forward, taking the photos from her. He began to flip through them, his expression shifting from curiosity to mild amusement. The photos showed you with another man, and the text messages painted a picture of a secret affair. However, Satoru immediately noticed the inconsistencies: the poor quality of the photoshopping, the time stamps that didn’t add up, and the way the text messages sounded nothing like you.
"Is this supposed to be evidence?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Your sister nodded earnestly. "Yes. I know it’s hard to believe, but Y/N has been cheating on you. I just thought you should know the truth before things got any worse."
Satoru couldn’t help but laugh out loud, shaking his head. "You’ve got to be kidding me."
She blinked, clearly taken aback by his reaction. "What do you mean? This is serious, Satoru!"
"Oh, I’m taking it seriously," he said, his tone suddenly sharp. "I’m seriously considering how someone could think I’d fall for such a poorly executed lie. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice the obvious signs of fakery?"
Your sister’s face turned red, a mix of embarrassment and frustration. "I just thought—"
"You thought wrong," Satoru interrupted, his voice firm. "I know my girl better than anyone. This? This is nothing but a desperate attempt to create doubt."
She opened her mouth to protest, but Satoru cut her off with a raised hand. "Look, I don’t know what your motives are, and frankly, I don’t care. What I do care about is your sister. And I trust her completely. So whatever you’re trying to pull here, it won’t work."
Standing up, he walked to the door and opened it. "I think it’s best if you leave now."
She hesitated for a moment, then stood up, her expression a mix of anger and defeat. "You’ll regret this, Satoru," she hissed before storming out.
Satoru closed the door behind her, letting out a sigh. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. He knew your sister had always been a bit jealous of your relationship, but this was a new low.
When you returned home a short while later, you immediately sensed that something was off. Satoru’s usual cheerful demeanor was slightly subdued, his smile not reaching his eyes.
"Hey, everything okay?" you asked, setting your bags down and walking over to him.
Satoru pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly. "Yeah, just had an interesting visit from your sister."
You pulled back slightly, looking up at him with concern. "What happened?"
He sighed, leading you to the couch. "She came over with some fake evidence, trying to convince me that you were cheating on me."
Your eyes widened in shock and anger. "What? Why would she do that?"
"I don’t know," Satoru said, gently cupping your face in his hands. "But what matters is that I didn’t believe her for a second. I trust you, princess. I love you more than anything, and nothing she could say or do would ever change that."
You nodded, feeling your heart swell with love. "Thank you for believing in me."
"Always," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you, baby girl, and I always will."
─═✧✧═─ 𝕊𝕦𝕘𝕦𝕣𝕦 𝔾𝕖𝕥𝕠 ─═✧✧═─
Suguru sat at a cozy corner table in a quaint café, his favorite book lying open in front of him. He glanced at his watch, noting that you should be arriving soon. The café, with its warm ambiance and the soft hum of conversations, was one of your favorite places to meet.
Just as he was about to take another sip of his green tea, the door swung open, and to his surprise, your sister walked in. She scanned the room until her eyes landed on Suguru. With a determined look, she walked over to his table.
"Suguru, do you have a moment?" she asked, her voice urgent.
Suguru raised an eyebrow, slightly puzzled. "Sure, have a seat. What's going on?"
She sat down quickly, pulled out her phone and began scrolling through it, finally landing on a series of photos and messages. She placed the phone on the table and pushed it towards Suguru. "Look at these."
Suguru picked up the phone and started scrolling through the images and messages. They depicted you with another man and conversations suggesting an affair. However, Suguru quickly noticed the watermark on the bottom of the text messages and the photos, making it clear that these were all fabricated.
He set the phone down and looked at your sister with a calm but firm expression. "Why are you showing me this?"
"Isn't it obvious?" she replied, her voice rising. "She’s been cheating on you, and you deserve to know!"
Suguru leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving her face. "Do you honestly expect me to believe this?"
"Why wouldn't you?" she shot back, frustration evident in her tone. "I’m trying to help you!"
Suguru sighed, shaking his head. "Help me, how? By giving false information to me?”
Your sister's face turned red, anger and embarrassment mixing in her expression. "I don’t know what you’re talking about," she muttered.
"I think you do," Suguru said softly, leaning forward. "You’ve always been a bit jealous of our relationship. But this… this is too far. I trust your sister completely. I know her, and I know she would never do something like this."
Tears of frustration welled up in your sister’s eyes. "You’re making a mistake, Suguru."
Suguru's eyes hardened, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "Listen carefully. I don't take kindly to deceit, especially when it revolves around my partner. If you ever try something like this again, you'll regret it. Do you understand?"
Your sister recoiled slightly, fear flickering in her eyes. She nodded quickly, gathering her things and leaving the café without another word.
At that moment, you walked into the café, your face lighting up as you spotted Suguru. You waved, making your way over to the table. "Hey, what’s going on?" you asked, sensing the tension.
Suguru took your hand, pulling you into the seat your sister had vacated. “Nothing you need to worry about, my love~”
Your eyes flickered with concern, but you trusted Suguru implicitly. "Are you sure? You seem a bit tense."
He smiled, the warmth returning to his eyes. "Just a minor inconvenience. It's all sorted now."
You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "Okay, as long as you're sure."
Suguru lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. "I'm sure. Let's enjoy our time together."
You nodded, feeling a sense of peace settle over you. "I love you, Suguru."
"I love you too," he replied, his voice full of conviction. "And nothing will ever change that."
─═✧✧═─ 𝕂𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕠 ℕ𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕚 ─═✧✧═─
Kento Nanami was in the midst of a busy day at the office. Papers were scattered across his desk, and the hum of conversation and ringing phones filled the room. He glanced at the clock, noting it was almost time for his lunch break. He had planned to meet you at a nearby restaurant for a quick bite.
As he was about to leave, he received a call from the receptionist. "Mr. Nanami, there's someone here to see you. She says it's urgent."
Nanami frowned, slightly irritated by the interruption. "Send her up," he replied, deciding to deal with this quickly before meeting you.
A few minutes later, your sister walked into his office, looking visibly distressed. "Kento, I need to talk to you. It's about my sister," she said, her voice shaky.
Nanami motioned for her to sit down, his expression calm but inquisitive. "What's this about?" he asked, folding his hands on the desk.
She took a deep breath and pulled out a small box from her bag. "I found something, and I think you need to see it."
Nanami took the box, feeling a bit puzzled. He opened it to find a necklace he had given you, along with a letter. The letter was a handwritten note that appeared to be from you, detailing an affair with a colleague. His heart sank momentarily as he read the words, but he noticed subtle differences in the handwriting that didn’t match yours.
"Where did you get this?" he asked, his tone neutral but with an edge of suspicion.
"I found it in her things," she replied quickly. 
Nanami leaned back in his chair, studying your sister intently. "You expect me to believe this because of a necklace and a note? Do you think I don’t know her handwriting?"
Your sister’s face flushed with embarrassment and frustration. "It’s not just that," she said, pulling out her phone. "I have texts, too."
She handed him her phone, showing a series of messages supposedly from you, confessing to an affair. Nanami read through them carefully, noting the odd phrasing and the timing that didn’t align with your usual schedule.
Nanami sighed, his expression darkening as he leaned forward, his voice dropping to a cold, intimidating tone. "I see right through you, you know. And frankly, I don’t like what I'm seeing. If you ever try something like this again, you'll regret it. Do you understand me?"
Her eyes widened in fear, and she nodded quickly. "W-What? I don’t–"
"I know what you’re trying to do.," Nanami interrupted, his gaze piercing. "But our relationship is built on trust. This—" he gestured to the box and the phone, "—won’t change that. Don't test me again."
She gathered her things and left the office, clearly shaken. Nanami took a deep breath, trying to dispel the frustration before heading to the restaurant. He knew you would be waiting for him, and he didn’t want to bring any negativity into your time together.
When he arrived, you were already seated, a bright smile lighting up your face as you spotted him. "Hey, how was your morning?" you asked, sensing a hint of tension in his demeanor.
Nanami took your hand, pulling you into a gentle kiss before sitting down. "It was... eventful," he began, his voice softening slightly.
Your eyes flickered with concern, but you trusted Nanami implicitly. "What happened? You seem a bit tense."
He sighed, squeezing your hand reassuringly. "Your sister came to my office today. She brought some... fabricated evidence, trying to convince me that you were cheating on me."
Nanami's expression softened as he looked into your eyes. "I saw right through it immediately. The handwriting didn't match, the texts were out of character for you, and the timing didn't add up. I confronted her and made it clear that if she ever tries something like this again, there will be serious consequences."
You smiled at him and kissed him on the lips. “I love you so much, do you know that?”
He smiled back, his eyes full of warmth and love. "I love you too. More than you can imagine."
You leaned in, resting your forehead against his. "Thank you for believing in me, Kento. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that."
“Ah, don’t worry about it, honey. It's done and over with now, and I know for sure it won’t happen again. So, lets just put it behind us for now and enjoy our lunch together, hm? We can go deal with your sister later.” He said, making you smile.
“Of course. There's nothing I would want more~”
─═✧✧═─ ℂ𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕠 𝕂𝕒𝕞𝕠 ─═✧✧═─
Choso was always a bit nervous at family gatherings, despite how much your family loved him. He often felt like he didn't quite belong, even though everyone went out of their way to make him feel welcome. Today was no different. The backyard was filled with the sound of laughter and the aroma of barbecue. He was standing near the grill, chatting with some of your relatives, when your sister approached him, a serious look on her face.
"Choso, can we talk in private?" she asked, her voice low.
Choso nodded, excusing himself from the conversation and following her to a quieter corner of the yard. "What's going on?" he asked, his brow furrowing with concern.
Your sister pulled out a small photo album from her bag. "I found something, and I thought you should see it."
Choso took the album, feeling a knot form in his stomach. He opened it and flipped through the pages. The album contained photos of you with another man, appearing close and affectionate. Some pages even had handwritten notes that hinted at an affair. Choso's heart clenched as he looked at them, but something felt off. The lighting in the photos was inconsistent, and the handwriting didn't match yours.
“Im sorry, Choso. You deserve better.” She spoke
Choso studied the photos and notes again, his suspicion growing. "I appreciate your concern, but I need to investigate this myself."
Your sister's face showed a flicker of irritation, but she quickly masked it with a worried look. "Why? Isn’t this proof enough for you? What more could you possibly need?!"
He ignored her, his mind already working to piece together the truth. "Give me a moment.," he said before walking away to find you.
He found you in the kitchen, helping to prepare some dishes. As soon as you saw him, you smiled brightly. "Hey, are you having a good time?"
Choso managed a small smile, but his mind was still racing. "Can we talk for a sec?"
Your smile faded slightly as you nodded, leading him to a more private area of the house. "What's wrong?"
He took a deep breath, pulling out the photo album. "Your sister gave me this. It suggests you're having an affair."
You looked at the album, shock and confusion clear on your face. "What? Let me see."
He handed you the album, watching your reaction closely. As you examined the photos and notes, your eyes widened in disbelief. "This isn't real. The photos are doctored, and this handwriting isn’t even mine."
Choso nodded, his initial suspicion confirmed. "I thought as much. The inconsistencies in the photos and the notes... it doesn't fit."
Your eyes filled with tears of frustration. "I can’t believe she would do this."
Choso wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "I trust you. I just wanted to make sure you knew what she was trying to do."
"Thank you for believing in me," you whispered against his chest.
He kissed the top of your head, his voice gentle but firm. "Always, baby. Our relationship is stronger than any lies she tries to spread."
You pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a grateful smile. "What should we do now?"
"We'll confront her together, later," Choso said. "For now, let’s enjoy the rest of the gathering. We won’t let her ruin our day."
As you returned to the gathering, hand in hand, Choso felt the need to love all over you. He constantly was giving you little kisses all over your face when he could. He stayed by your side the entire time, his presence a comforting reassurance. He helped you with the dishes, playfully splashing water on you and making you giggle. You fed each other bites of food, sharing secret smiles and stolen kisses. At one point, you found yourselves dancing to the music playing in the background, swaying together under the warm sunlight. Choso twirled you around, and you laughed, feeling happier than ever. The love and trust between you felt unbreakable, a fortress that no one could breach.
He squeezed your hand gently and whispered, "You know, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Your heart melted at his words, and you leaned in to kiss his cheek. "And you're mine."
─═✧✧═─ 𝕋𝕠𝕛𝕚 𝔽𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕦𝕣𝕠 ─═✧✧═─
Toji Fushiguro was in the middle of an intense workout at the gym. The sound of weights clanking and people chatting filled the air, but he was focused on his routine. He enjoyed these moments of solitude and exertion, pushing his limits while thinking about you. Just as he was finishing a set, he noticed your sister entering the gym. She spotted him and made her way over, a determined look on her face.
"Hey Toji…got a second?" she asked, her tone serious.
Toji wiped the sweat from his brow and nodded, leading her to a quieter corner of the gym. "What's up?" he asked, slightly annoyed by the interruption.
She took a deep breath and pulled out a stack of printed papers from her bag. "I found something that you need to see. It's about her." she said, talking about you.
Toji raised an eyebrow but took the papers. He began to skim through them, his expression growing more serious. The papers were printed screenshots of messages, supposedly between you and another man, discussing intimate details and plans to meet. As he read, Toji's eyes narrowed. Something felt off—the language was formal, not at all like the way you talked, and the dates and times didn't align with your usual schedule.
"I knew she was unfaithful. She always gave me that vibe.” Your sister continued. Toji stared at the papers for a moment longer before crumpling them in his fist. "This is bullshit," he said bluntly. "I know her, and this isn't her."
Toji took a step closer to your sister, his eyes cold and hard. "Listen closely. I'm only giving you this warning because you're her sister. If you ever try to sabotage our relationship again, you'll wish you hadn't. I don't take kindly to deceit, and I won't hesitate to make you regret it. Do you understand me?"
Fear flickered in her eyes as she nodded quickly, not daring to say another word. She quickly gathered her things and left the gym, clearly shaken. Toji watched her go, his expression remaining stern until she was out of sight. He then took a deep breath, trying to dispel his anger before heading home. He knew you would be there, and he didn't want to bring any negativity into your time together.
Toji managed a small smile, though his mind was still on the earlier confrontation. "It was good. Feeling strong," he replied, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. He pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, making you giggle.
"You seem a bit tense," you observed, turning to face him. "Everything okay?"
Toji nodded, his eyes softening as he looked at you. "Yeah, just had a bit of a situation at the gym, but it's taken care of."
You raised an eyebrow, curious but trusting his words. "Well, I'm glad it's all sorted out."
"Me too," he said, pulling you into a deeper kiss. "So what's for dinner?"
You smiled, looking up at him, "Your favorite—steak and roasted vegetables."
Toji's eyes lit up with genuine happiness, his lips trailing down your neck. "Sounds perfect, doll~."
─═✧✧═─ 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 ─═✧✧═─
Sukuna's palace was as grand and imposing as ever, with its vast halls and ornate decorations. The air was thick with a sense of power and mystery. Sukuna was in his private chamber, reviewing some ancient scrolls, when he noticed a commotion outside his door. Your sister was being escorted into the room, looking both nervous and determined.
"State your business," Sukuna demanded, his eyes narrowing as he observed her.
"I have something you need to see, my king," she said, her voice trembling slightly as she handed him a small, ornate box.
He didn’t even bother to look, he could tell what your sister was trying to do. He instantly burned them up
“W-What are you doing?!” She asked with widened eyes.
Sukuna stood up, towering over her. "You think I would be so easily deceived? Do you really believe I wouldn't recognize a poorly executed plan?" His voice was low and dangerous, sending a shiver down her spine.
She took a step back, her confidence quickly fading. "I...I–"
Sukuna's patience snapped. In an instant, he was in front of her, his hand around her throat, lifting her off the ground effortlessly. "You thought wrong. And now, you'll pay for your insolence."
Your sister's eyes widened in terror as she struggled to breathe, her hands clawing at his grip. "P-please... I won’t do it again..."
"You dare try to undermine my trust in her? You dare think you can deceive me?" His grip tightened, his eyes glowing with a murderous intent. "Know your place."
She gasped for air, tears streaming down her face. "I'm s-sorry... please..."
Sukuna sneered, his face inches from hers. "I should end you right here. But for her sake, I'll spare your pathetic life this once." He released her, letting her fall to the ground, coughing and gasping for breath. "But if you ever try something like this again, there will be no mercy."
Your sister scrambled to her feet, nodding frantically before fleeing the room. Sukuna watched her go, his expression remaining stern until she was out of sight. He then took a deep breath, calming himself before heading to find you.
When he found you, you were in one of the palace's beautiful gardens, tending to the flowers. As soon as you saw him, you smiled brightly. "Hey, how was your day?"
Sukuna managed a small smile, though his mind was still on the earlier confrontation. "Fine. What are you doing out here?” He asked
“Helping the flowers~” I say as I look back at all of the various flowers surrounding us.
Sukuna's eyes softened slightly as he watched you tend to the garden. "They look good," he remarked, stepping closer but keeping his distance.
"Thank you," you replied with a smile. "I thought it would be nice to have some fresh flowers for the palace."
He nodded, his gaze lingering on you for a moment. 
You kissed his cheek before continuing your work. "So how was your day?"
"Fine," he replied, his voice steady and reserved.
You sensed there was more to it but decided not to press him. "Well, now that you’re here, shall we spend the rest of the evening together?"
Sukuna nodded, another small smile playing on his lips. "Yes, let's."
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harmonictechnicality · 3 months
Text
It’s the way Steve places a pin in that damn map of Hawkins. Two fingers, muddy knuckles. Fuck if Eddie knows the actual destination because all he can navigate is the curve of Steve’s index finger as he smooths out the edges of the map.
And it’s stupid, right? Because the world is folding in on itself and he’s looking at a guy in the kind of way Victorian novelists would only describe as ‘longingly.’ It’s objectively stupid. Probably some adrenaline bullshit that a doctor could explain with a brain scan.
The rest of the group has scattered, plotting amongst themselves. Pulling plans out of their asses. Finding layers of courage behind clues and cassette tapes.
Eddie should do that too. Plan. Make decisions. Do anything other than stare at the dirt underneath Steve’s goddamn fingernails.
“Please blink, Munson.” Steve says while clearing his throat. He’s been doing that a lot. Which is, like, understandable after coughing up lake water all night long.
He clears his throat again. “Show sign of life before I ransack the supply bag for that shit you call music.”
“That… shit?” Eddie spits out the words. Briefly forgets his swirly Steve feelings because of the fucking audacity on this guy. “Rightrightright, because Bob Seger is so fucking dignified, huh?”
“Uh-oh.” Dustin murmurs behind him.
“Because Old Time Rock and Roll is the highest ranking of ear candy?” Eddie searches through their duffel bag until he finds Steve’s Vecna Saftey Tape. Waves it around wildly as he speaks. “Forgive me. I didn’t know entry-level chord progressions were considered Carnegie Hall worthy these days. But by all means, call my music shit.”
He throws the tape at Steve’s lap before dropping back down to his seat on the couch.
“Well,” Steve smirks. “At least we know if the music won’t wake you up, mocking it sure as hell will.”
“Guys. Focus.” Nancy steps into the center of the room. Everyone nods, even Eddie. They listen intently to her directions. Henderson doesn’t interrupt her, not even once.
Nancy’s entire demeanor is charged with currents of determination. It’s honestly impressive. Truly. She could convince congress to change the fucking constitution if she wanted. Have the supreme court eating out of her palm with how persuasive she can be.
And the only thing that distracts her, is the same thing distracting Eddie.
Two fingers. Muddy knuckles.
Eddie follows her gaze back over to Steve. Her expression softening when she sees him.
It’s cruel and expected. Cruel that Eddie has to witness such softness, knowing exactly how it feels. Expected because wedding bells can practically be heard every time those two interact with each other. No one can deny that.
But knowing all this doesn’t stop the cruelty from squeezing Eddie’s stomach till his insides feel raw.
He swallows down his flimsy fantasies. Keeps repeating those words from back in the woods:
It’s jealousy, it’s jealousy, it’s jealousy, it’s-
“Hey, man.” Steve says.
Man? Not ‘Nancy, my betrothed?’ Not “Nancy, my muse?”
… Man?
Eddie blinks. Glances up to see Steve looking at him. “Your taste in music isn’t complete shit.”
Which isn’t exactly an apology. But the teasing scratches an itch in Eddie’s brain that he hasn’t be able to reach for a very long time.
“Yeah.” Eddie says. “I guess Bob Seger’s stuff is… intermediate. Assistant managerial-level chord progressions.”
He pauses. Then leans in and adds a quick, “At best.”
They both laugh a little. It’s cut short by Steve clearing his throat again. One of the many reminders that they’re not well.
That nothing they’re going through is fair. Not even in the same universe as Fair. Eddie’s eyes fall to the red markings around Steve’s neck. Wonders if that makes his cough hurt worse.
“Look.” Steve nudges Eddie’s arm. Pulls his attention back into this moment. “We’ve got this, okay?”
Eddie can’t exactly tell if there’s softness in Steve’s eyes - the same kind Nancy gives to him so freely. Or if it’s just regularly scheduled Concern. But it doesn’t even matter because Steve said that.
We.
‘We’ve got this.’
Him and Steve.
And, okay, was Steve referring to a collective ‘we?’ Sure, yeah. Obviously. But Eddie is allowing himself to wallow in delusion while the world’s expiration date remains questionable.
So he aims a lovesick smile at Steve and sighs. “Whatever you say, Harrington.”
528 notes · View notes
nuemanfilms · 15 days
Text
innocent, taken by a cowboy — Sam Winchester
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Content pwp, corruption kink, innocence, purity rings, soft dom!sam, cowboy!au, virgin!reader, praise, mentions of Sheriff!Dean, piv, unprotected, mentions of oral (f!recieving)
- Summary save a horse ride a cowboy
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Sam winchester groaned above you as he felt you buck your hips up to meet his hips. His cock demanding entry into your tight heat. He was holding back though. Afraid he might break you.
You wore white. Your bra, your panties, white. White, a sign of purity. And you were letting the man take it away from you. He would then delicately slide the ring off your finger with your consent.
He was hesitant, after all, he could’ve gotten killed for this. Even though his brother was the sheriff, he wouldn’t be able to save him from this. If your father knew.. knew what Sam was about to do to you, he’d never seen sunrise again.
“You sure you’re ready for this, Sweetheart?” His expression was a mix of hunger and restraint as he looked down at you, wanting to make sure you were absolutely sure.
You nodded, but that wasn’t what Sam wanted, he wanted words.
“Yes, I’m sure, Sam. Please.” You said, you were admiring the man infront of you, the man you met only a few days ago. The man you shared your first kiss with.
Sam could feel the sweet plea fall from your lips against his neck. The desperate need in your voice for him, and he knew he couldn’t keep you waiting any longer.
His touch on your thighs was tender, he rubbed his tip up and down your slick entrance. Finally pushing past your entry.
He leaned down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. To soothe your worry and ease you into the mood. He was big, there was no doubt. You were sure you could feel him in your tummy when he bottomed out.
But that felt so good only a few moments later.
The kiss was soft, yet quickly grew more passionate. Your lips were sloppy against his, but he didn’t mind it one bit. Not when your plush lips were against his own.
The desire built inside him, and when he pulled away to lean his forehead against your own.. you finally nodded. Granting him consent.
“You can move.”
He rocked his hips slowly, carefully. He was afraid he’d hurt you, but your small whimpers encouraged him to give you what you craved hours ago.
“You’re so perfect, Darlin’..” He groaned, you nodded into his neck. Your nails grazing his back.
His hands gripped your hips, not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to let you know who was taking care of you.
This wasn’t sex. This was love. He was making love to you. And it felt like the best thing in the world.
“Faster, Sammy..” and he gladly obliged. Moving his hips in a steady rhythm as his cock prodded at your sweet spot. Your moans were like a melody, a song to his ears. He could sense you were getting close.
The sound of skin against skin filled the room, along with your almost sinful moans. He was happy to know he was providing you this pleasure.
He gently thumbed at your clit, you moaned louder. A cry of pleasure escaping your mouth.
“‘M gonna cum, Sam. Please, make me yours..” You gave him a plea for him to come inside of you, to claim you for his own. And he was happy to accept.
“Cum for me, Sweet girl.. you’re perfect, perfect for me.” And that you did. Crying out in ecstasy as your bodies conjoined into one last embrace.
It was pure pleasure.
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Note
Hi thank u for opening asks! Can I request headcanons for the male companions (and or gortash Raphael and the emperor) having a mute s/o either because they can’t talk or they’re very shy
A/N: Here ya go! Managed to get everyone to stay mostly in character. Please be warned there are hints of nsfw for each character, although nothing graphic in nature. And that the entries for Gortash and Raphael describe abusive relationships, so heed the trigger warnings below. 
🔇 Mute!Reader HC x BG3 Males: 🔇
TW: Domestic Abuse & Vaguely NSFW Content
(Abuse and Manipulation for the Gortash & Raphael ones. Also allusions to sex throughout each entry.)
Astarion: 
He’s suspicious of you at first. Even more so that you don’t talk. But if you prove you’re  not a threat in other ways, he doesn’t actually mind it all that much. He talks to you about the same. A good amount of what he says is either posturing or complaining- and that doesn't change just because you can’t talk back. If anything, he complains even more, knowing you wont tell him to shove off like the others. He greatly enjoys how dramatic he gets to be around you. He’ll lean against a city wall and dramatically lay the back of his hand over his face: ‘I tell you Darling, it’s like these people don’t notice me at all!’ You blink at his outburst, your expression unchanged, clearly unamused. 
Still says lots of witty comments under his breath, and subtly looks over at you to see if you’ve smirked or blushed in response. Gets really good at reading all the little reactions you make. He makes a mental catalog of every half smirk, every eye twitch, every shoulder shrug, so that he knows how you feel about something he or another has said.
Appreciates the fact that you’re unlikely to repeat anything he says to you, which makes him feel all the safer confiding in you about his condition and his past, knowing you can’t go sounding the alarm. 
Ends up going on tangents or rants about the others while you just sit there and kind of grimace, empathetically. He knows it can get annoying to just have to listen, but he’s extremely grateful for the outlet. Cazador certainly never cared what he was feeling. Nor did any of his ‘siblings’. But with you, he can bitch about his day only to turn around and find you still there, listening intently. 
Becomes a lot touchier. Like a lot. He switches from checking to verbal confirmation to physical confirmation. Takes your hand, or pulls you close, squeezes your shoulder- those sorts of things. 
Personally takes it as a challenge to see how loud he can get you to be when you’re intimate together ;) 
Gale: 
Doesn’t notice immediately lol. He’s too busy being overjoyed at the fact you don’t interrupt his long winded, pun-filled speeches to even consider it’s due to a disability or something similar on your part. He just thinks you’re the most wonderful listener. And of course, this makes him fall head over heels for you lol.
Once he does get it, he just sort of goes, ‘Oh.’ And lets that sit in the air. (He’s a bit awkward around you for a while, unsure of how to apologize, so you’d probably need to approach him and make your forgiveness known.) 
Once that misunderstanding is over, he immediately becomes occupied with finding spells to help you talk. If that’s something you want, you appreciate the effort, and let him know you’re in no rush. If that’s something you’re not interested in, you tell him as much. He’s a little disappointed and taken off guard. He explains he’s always used magic to solve his problems. You raise your brow and give him a look that says ‘And that’s been working well for you, has it?’ He relents after that. 
The two of you get really good at reading each other’s faces. And Gale takes it upon himself to talk less as well, even though you explain he doesn’t have to. He insists, saying he wants to understand what your life is like. He lasts like two days lol. 
Becomes mostly competent at understanding what you’re saying either via sign or body language, but occasionally Tera has to translate for you. Thank the gods for tressyms.
Wyll: 
Is momentarily taken aback, embarrassed by his concern he was being rude to you before, assuming you could talk to him but were choosing not to. Apologizes, profusely, for the misunderstanding on his part. 
Learns to communicate with you through other means, be it writing, or by whatever the Faerun equivalent of sign language is. He’s not the best at it, but he tries really hard to learn. Picks up basic phrases like greetings, and moods. Does request that you slow down if you’re fluent, to give his brain time to catch up. 
Doesn’t let anyone in the group make petty or passive aggressive comments while giving them a look or chewing them out. He’s very serious about it. The next time Astarion says something off the cuff, Wyll responds with, ‘Well, Astarion, I’d assume you of all people would be used to it being quiet. Having only the other rats of Baldurs Gate as friends for years.’ He’ll go for the jugular- he doesn't give af! No one gets to make you feel bad about it.
Considers going to Shadowheart or Halsin, or even Gale and asking them if there’s something they can do to help you/your condition, but that’s only with your blessing of course. He wants to help you, but doesn’t want to overstep. 
Comes to appreciate how honest you are in your other reactions- your eyes and your body language. Wyll is used to being deceived- by demons, humans, and the like- so he thinks it’s so special he can read you like a book. Whether you’re strolling through Baldur’s Gate, or enjoying your marital bed, it matters greatly to him how you truly feel and think. He’s glad he’s able to share your truth with him. 
Halsin: 
Catches on fairly quickly, although he doesn’t bring it up to you directly. He figures you will bring it up when you are ready to discuss it, and in the meantime, he would not want to pry. Listens intently when you tell him by checking in with your facial expression as he reads your writing. 
Tries to find ways to help you with what you can do. Suggests maybe enchanting a feather pen and scroll or some chalk and a small board to write out what you’re thinking so others can understand how it is you feel in real time. He offers his druid magic to do whatever you need. Hell, he even considers mentoring you to see if you feel nature’s calling. If you were a druid, perhaps you could develop a relationship with an animal companion, say a bird, or an awakened rat, or a giant eagle and get them to speak for you. 
Similar to Wyll, Halsin will try to learn sign language if that’s something you speak. However he isn’t the most adept at it. He’s very used to spellcasting, which requires at least one free hand, often his dominant hand. So he tries learning sign with his nondominant hand, but that makes it all the more difficult. He knows the alphabet, but that’s about it. You will have to slowly spell out your sentences word by word in order for him to get the gist. 
Makes sure you’re either safely hidden away at camp, or stay within his sight during a battle. He knows you cannot cry out for help, so he wants to make sure he can keep an eye on you throughout any conflict. 
Loves just being close to you. Swears he can hear the intention of your heart when the two of you are so close. He wants to assure you, your difference doesn’t make him love you any less. If anything, he is impressed with how much you continue to adapt to and overcome. He’ll say, ‘You need not speak for me to know your voice, my heart. One look in your eyes, and I know, it is an internal melody so beautiful, all of nature could not compare.’ He’ll place soft touches to your skin and face, and check your reaction before progressing any further. He thinks being intimate with you is the best way to express your emotions as a couple. After all, sex is the most ancient language of all.
Minsc: 
He doesn’t get it until Boo points it out to him lol. And even after being told, he still forgets from time to time. 
Minsc loves to talk. Well brag. And boast. And speak in the third-person. So he’s not thrown off by you having to refer to yourself with body language or with possessive pronouns in Common writings. 
He will ask you lots of questions, all throughout the day. Some are obvious and others are seemingly random, and difficult to explain with your words limited to being written down as fast as you can before Minsc’s mind wanders and changes the subject. It’s a workout for your wrists honestly. 
He will loudly announce that you’re mute every time you meet new people. ‘This is (Y/N), my dear love, she cannot speak. So (Y/N) will write her answers for Boo. And Boo will tell me. Then Minsc may tell you.’ You keep trying to tell him, the system doesn’t need Boo and him to interpret for you, especially if you’re already recording your answers in Common for others to read. 
He will never let you apologize for not being able to speak. He refuses to see it as a problem. ‘Minsc speaks loud enough for both of us, no?’ He thinks you’re the most wonderful person around. He could have his pick of the crop, and yet he chose you. Trust him, you’re the person he wants to be with more than anything. 
Gortash:
Actually kind of prefers lovers who don’t talk back, lol. He’s a very insecure man when it comes to his character. He’s cunning and wise, but clawed his way out of hell (quite literally) and the self-critical voice in his head never silences. So he’s oddly comforted that you can’t demean his temperament. 
He won’t try to fix it, nor will he allow you to try and change it in any sort of way. He doesn’t want you to go babbling on about his plans or how he is behind closed doors. That information cannot be getting out. So no, you will not be allowed any magic or spells to help you communicate. 
He will open up to you on occasion in private. The longer you’re together, the more safe he feels like confiding in you. If you feign sympathy, or if you are in fact sympathetic to his backstory, he’ll feel something akin to love for you. It’s not quite love. It’s much more logical, more calculating and pragmatic than that. But it’s about as close as you’d get with him. 
Likes how you have little to no choice other than to stay at his side and listen to him intently. He loves watching all your little apprehensive reactions when beckons you closer and pulls you into his lap. How your pulse races, how your breath quickens, he knows how his proximity makes you feel, even if you can’t open your mouth to speak the words. Besides, he’s very sure your mouth will be good for, let’s just say, other things. 
He will allow you to write him little notes here and there, but only in his office, and only when no one else is around. He’s rather paranoid that way. But he’s also rather pleased how it means you must keep seeking him out during his working hours. He’s under no false impression that he's the kindest lover. But you can’t leave him. You need him. He’s the only one who’s allowed to understand you. And he intends to keep it that way. 
Raphael: 
Like Gortash, Raphael feels a sort of sick satisfaction over the fact you can’t talk back to him. But then on the other hand, he feels a sort of sick disappointment that he can’t torture you into making all those sweet pathetic noises for him. So it’s 50/50 with him. 
He will consider giving you a voice via deviant magic if it means he can hear you beg. It drives him absolutely wild, and he refuses to go completely without it. Takes said voice away if you venture too far into brat territory, or you directly insult him. It’s a privilege for you to even look upon him, how dare you use the gift he gave you against him?
Has Harleep babysit you when he isn’t there. You can’t exactly call for help, and Raphael’s house isn’t safe for you to be wandering about unsupervised. 
Enjoys the look of pure frustration on your face when you try learning to write in Infernal, only to fail miserably. He thinks you’re adorable all revved up. He will read the notes you write in Common, he just doesn’t always respond to them. Despite his refusal to acknowledge most of them, you can tell he understands them, based on how large that vein on his forehead gets lol.
He will let you choose whether or not to have a voice during certain moments of pleasure; well, mostly pleasure. He loves the little gasps and moans you make, it fuels his lust for you even more. Then again, he doesn’t need to hear the sweet cries of your pretty voice to know whether he’s on the right track. ‘I can sense your heartbeat, little mouse,’ he'll whisper to you. Your body reveals to Raphael all there is to know, whether you want it to or not. 
The Emperor: 
It literally doesn’t matter. Dude’s telepathic lol. 
Wishes you’d become an illithid so you’d be telepathic too. Almost doesn’t take no for an answer on that one. 
Ultimately ends up relishing in the fact he alone can understand you- your wants, your needs, your dreams, and hopes. It makes him feel all the more powerful. 
Will give you the play-by-play about the Nether Brain and the Chosen Three because he’s been dying to tell someone, and he knows you can’t go running in the streets telling everyone and ruining his hopes of manipulation. Mainly because you don’t talk but also because he’s not letting you leave his realm lol, no way in hell. 
If you really don’t feel at home here, ‘You could always,’ he’ll suggest coyly, ‘Become one of us.’ You don’t even have to shake your head to tell him ‘no’. Your facial expression does all the talking for that one. 
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rosyhoneydew · 1 month
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As Long As You'll Have Me
My entry for day 3 of @bucktommywhumpweek - "You act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong." | Prompts: Abandonment issues // Forced to leave the other behind
This is pretty brief whump but hopefully it still fits the prompt :)
"Are- Are you going somewhere?" Buck asks, there's a hollow kind of deja vu setting in when he steps into their bedroom to see Tommy packing a small duffle. "You're home!" Tommy says, startling and turning to face Buck. "Yeah, Ravi picked up the rest of my shift. Said he could use the extra hours." Normally he'd walk right up to his boyfriend, kiss him hard, maybe show him exactly how much he missed him during his shift. But right now Buck can't move from the doorway. Because Tommy's packing a bag. "I, uh, thought you'd be a little while still," Tommy says, something like a guilty smile on his face. And Buck... he's not exactly sure what's going on here but he can feel his face getting hot and his heart rate speeding up. He thought things were good with them. Is Tommy not happy? Did he miss the signs? Again? "Hey," Tommy says, "you okay?" "Are you leaving?" Buck asks in lieu of a response. It comes out a little harsher than he planned, but he's focused on not doing something like crying and begging his boyfriend to stay. Tommy sighs. “I wanted to surprise you,” he says, expression softening a bit. “You remember that I call I had up near San Bernadino?”  Yes. A hiker’s mom called in when her daughter didn’t check in along the trail. She’d been out there for a few days at least. Buck remembers the look of relief on his boyfriend’s face when he got home that night, the girl dropped off at the hospital, safe and sound.  “Turns out her mom’s got a place in Big Bear and she thought it would be nice to let me vacation there for a few days, as a thank you.” “Vacation?”  “It was supposed to be a surprise,” Tommy says, smiling and making his way toward Buck. His lightly grabs Buck’s arms, about to lean in for a kiss before he stops. “Is everything alright?” 
“Y- yeah, just…” Buck takes in the room before looking back at Tommy. “You’re not leaving me?”  “Leaving you?” Tommy seems genuinely shocked by the prospect. “No, Evan, no. Why would you think that?”  “Sorry, I’m sorry,” Buck says, shaking his head like he can dislodge the thoughts that way. Tommy rubs his arms and presses a light kiss to Buck’s cheek, seemingly content to wait until Buck is ready to talk. He takes the moment to let the pounding in his heart return to normal. He's not leaving, he's not leaving, he's not leaving. “You remember my ex I told you about, right? Abby?” Buck starts. Tommy nods. “That’s how I found out, when she was going to leave you know? I came home - I was living at her place then too - and her stuff was all in suitcases.” He pauses for a moment, remembering how he had believed her when she said it was just a trip. That she would be back for him. “At the time she had planned to come back, you know? Then she, umm, she didn’t.”  Tommy’s looking at him like his own heart is breaking, and, shit, the last thing he wants is for Tommy to feel bad when he was just trying to plan a surprise for his boyfriend. 
"I know you're not her," Buck clarifies quickly. "I just- I think I saw you packing and I didn't know where you were going and it kind of took my brain a second to catch up."
“Evan, I am so sorry,” Tommy starts. “I had no idea this would stir up those memories for you.”  “Don’t apologize,” Buck says. “Of course you didn’t know. You were just doing something nice.”  Tommy reaches up to rest his hand on the nape of Buck’s neck, softly brushing his thumb there and leaning his forehead against Buck’s.  “I am not leaving you,” he says. “I will never leave you.”  Buck huffs a little laugh at that, because, well, “You say that now.”  Tommy leans back a bit to look Buck in the eye, “Evan,” he says, “I love you, and so long as you’ll have me, I will never leave you.”  Oh. He means… is he saying… Buck lunges forward to wrap Tommy in a kiss, passionate and full of feeling. Tommy's right there to catch him, arms wrapped around him, letting Buck set the pace but never faltering at his intensity. “Let me try this again,” Tommy says with a smile when they part. “Evan, would you like to spend the weekend together in Big Bear? Just the two of us.”  “Yes,” Buck says, only able to peel his eyes away from Tommy’s lips for a moment to say, “I love you.”
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allfearstofallto · 7 months
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Prying Eyes
Yandere Scaramouche x Reader
Word Count: 2.3k
Synopsis: Such things as privacy don't exist when you're married to Scaramouche
TW: yandere, obsessive themes, violence, oral (m. receiving), non-con, very harsh words (just Scara talking)
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You always appreciated the fact that Scaramouche let you have a separate bedroom. When you asked for it, head bowed and hands trembling in fear of how he'd respond, you remember thinking that he'd punish you for not wanting to be in his presence every hour of the day.
But much to your surprise, he merely thought on it for a second, then nodded, “Yes, that would be fine.”
Your eyes widened to the size of saucers. You wholly went into this expecting him to say no, and you thought he was going to. There was no harm in asking, you told yourself, but there was harm. Scaramouche had the most ruthless punishments for you, his “doting wife,” and you were subjecting yourself to the idea of one, just for the opportunity, the opportunity that you actually got.
“Are-are you sure, my lord?” You stuttered, you weren't sure if he'd heard you correctly and your mouth went dry knowing that he could take this back away from you thinking it as a misunderstanding.
“Must you constantly ask questions?” He sighed in annoyance, “I agreed upon it so it will be done. Go and bring me a maid.”
You turned on your heels quickly while also trying not to seem to excited. Your heart was beating so hard in your chest, you were sure it would lurch out of your throat.
Your hand was nearly on the sliding door when he spoke again, “Wait,” he ordered. And you did. Still as a board and stuck in place. His word was law. He said jumpand you'd ask how high. He said wait and you didn't dare ask how long. If you were waiting for him, you were expected to be enthusiastic about it.
You looked back to face his, his expression still as unreadable as usual, “Yes, my lord?”
“You've forgotten something,” his finger was gently patting his delicate cheek.
A kiss was pressed against his face, something he seemed to enjoy from you. But there was a little more emotion pit into it this time, a bit of a more expressive kiss on his cheek, showing how happy this made you. And the slight blush on his face told you that he was happy too.
Your room was at the very end of the hall. It wasn't your room just yet. There were no empty spaces in the balladeer's home, a former supply closet was to be cleaned out for you. But anything was better than nothing.
Of course, nothing was without it's rules and Scaramouche had a few. If he requested you spend the night in his bed, you would, no ifs ands or buts. Your room was also to stay open to him, if he wanted entry, he'd have it, no matter the time of day. And lastly, he didn't want you to spend all day in your room. You were still expected to come out and wander the house, and most specifically, greet him throughout the day.
All of those rules sounded like nothing to you, easy feats considering how strict Scara typically was with you.
“I'm doing this for you because I want to trust you. Do you understand?” he said the day your room was completed. His words fell on deaf ears as you looked over the area in awe. Scaramouche spared no expenses when it came to you and it showed in the expensive, handcrafted furniture that was given to you as well.
His eyebrow twitched in annoyance at your lack of a response and to get your attention back, he grabbed you by the cheeks and made you look at him, “Just as easily as this was given to you, it can be taken away. This is a privilege, not a right,”
“Yes, my lord, I apologize,”
Your answer was enough to suffice and he released you, but not without swiping a finger across your lips first, a sign that he was going to want more than a kiss on the cheek later.
Much to your surprise, he left you to your own vices. Saying he'd see you at dinner and to enjoy your room. Those words were by far the best thing he could ever say to you, that and “I'm sorry for thinking that I was in love with you, you're free to go.” But that would never happen.
You sat at the desk you were gifted, the chair was possibly the most comfy place you'd sat your butt. Thick and soft enough to sleep in if you truly wanted to. And you did want to. You wanted to do whatever you wanted to, because he wasn't there to stop you.
Your journal was pulled from where you'd hidden it on your body. For the longest time, your journal was your solace. It was a little booklet that you'd found in Scaramouche's office and it was where you stored your thoughts, your escape plans, where you screamed into the void and didn't let the void scream back. It was your only comfort.
The book was flipped open and placed on the desk and you began to write in it. All your thoughts, all your feelings, everything was in this book. You were never truly one for writing before you got in this situation, but after, words were all you had.
There was a gentle knock at your door. The fact that someone was knocking at all told you that it wasn't Scaramouche. Your book was placed into a drawer, the first place you could think to hide it, and you told the person to come in.
“Good evening, my lady,” a maid bowed to you. All the maids in the manor looked the same. That's because that's what Scara wanted. They had the same haircut and they wore the same clothes and shoes. When they moved around, they kept their heads lowered to obscure their faces and they all spoke in a whispery tone, it was like he'd managed to hire the exact same woman thirty times.
“Good evening,” you replied back. You didn't bow to her in return. No matter how much your husband berated and scolded you, he insisted that you were better than the employees, and that you were not to lower your head to them.
“The Lord requests your presence in the dining room,” she said in a hushed tone, “He would like to eat dinner now.”
You looked out the window, by the way the sun hung in the sky, it didn't even seem close to dinner time, “Now?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.
“The Lord will be leaving for a trip before nightfall, he wants to partake in his dinner early and he wants you there with him,”
Of course his selfishness would force you to have to eat your dinner early as well. But you didn't complain, it was not like there was anything the maid could do anyways. You stepped up from your chair and walked past her. In your disappointment and anger at having to leave your little safe space, you didn't notice that she'd lingered behind.
Scaramouche left that night after dinner, another one of those many trips he took that you weren't allowed to join him on. Fifteen nights of peace, as you called it, fifteen nights of your own thoughts and feelings.
But all good things had to come to an end, and he returned home on the sixteenth day, bearing his usual gift of a flower from whatever nation he visited and a new tea for you to drink.
“Did you miss me?” He asked with an arm around your waist and you resisted the urge to gag in his face.
“Always, my lord,” was your answer instead.
You watched as he walked up the stairs and to his office, then you went back to your own room. The whole time you were gone, that's where you tried to stay as much as possible. Between your mandatory lessons that Scaramouche made you take in etiquette and skills, there was time to sit and enjoy the peace of your room. To bask in a sunlight that felt like your own, to write in your journal without the fear of him peeking over your shoulder.
Another knock at your door and a maid stepped into your room, “Good evening, my lady. The Lord requests that you bed with him tonight.”
You sighed. That was all you could do. Just sigh and take it. In order to keep the “luxury” of your own bedroom, you had to do what he ordered. And what he ordered was his night of bedding together.
If it wasn't for his piss poor personality, stalkerish tendencies, and jealousy to the point of obsession, the indigo haired man would actually be rather attractive. That's what you thought as you stepped into his bedroom and saw him sitting on the bed, his kimono open, and his eyes on you hungrily. Skin like porcelain and sharp eyes that practically shone in moonlight.
“Come. Sit with me,” he patted the bed beside him. Your steps were with purpose, head held high while you made your way across the room. You sat next to him as he ordered, then wrapped your arms around his thin waist and rested your head on his lap, facing away from him. He didn't ask for that, but he always loved when you went above and beyond for him.
“That room of yours must be rather pleasant, you've been agreeable lately,” he spoke while patting your head.
“I enjoy it, my lord,”
He merely hummed and continued to pat you. Against your cheek, you could feel him hardening in his pants, the last sign you needed that this would not turn into a night of just sleeping until sunrise.
“Am I…satisfying you tonight, my lord,” you asked quietly and hoped that the answer would be no.
“You wish to taste the cum that makes you wish that you could slice your own tongue off?”
His words were spoken so casually, so calm and collected, that you almost didn't register what he'd said. But sure enough, he'd said it. Said a sentence that sounded familiar to you. Said something that you'd written.
“i-i apologize, my lord, but I believe I misheard you?” You began to raise your head from his lap, but his hand on the back of your head changed from loving pets to firmly gripping your hair, and your face was pushed back down.
“Misheard? No. I think I read every word correctly,” you opened your mouth to speak, but he continued talking, “Sex with me makes you disgusted, you couldn't get aroused if you tried.”
Every word made his grip on your hair get tighter and tighter, until it felt like he was going to rip your scalp from your skulls. Tears welled in your eyes. From the pain, from the fear, from the shock. He truly knew everything you'd written, even if he wasn't around.
“W-wait! Please! My lord!” You sobbed, but he didn't falter. Tears soaked the fabric of his hakama, yet his erection was still hard and twitching, your face being pushed even closer to it.
He continued to speak as he opened his pants, freeing his cock and rubbing it against your trembling lips, “But your disgust with me isn't all that's there, is it?” You whimpered as the salty precum forced its way into your mouth, mixing with your tears until you couldn't tell the taste of the two apart anymore, “Answer me!”
“N-no-” there wasn't even an opportunity to finish what you were saying, the second your mouth was open for more than crying, he forced his way into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat immediately.
“You were going to leave me weren't you. You were going to try to,” he spoke between pants as he fucked your mouth, still gripping your hair so tightly it was giving you a headache, “I'll give you credit, some of those ideas were thought on for a long time. Seducing a guard? My, aren't you a minx?”
You gagged and choked on his dick, sobbing between every thrust, but trying not to black out at the same time. Every time he fucked into the back of your throat, you saw stars behind your eyes, all you could do was breathlessly beg around his cock for him to stop, to forgive you.
Your head was held down, keeping his length all the way down your throat. The way you sputtered didn't deter him, his grip didn't loosen, even when you hit and scratched his thighs.
A tear was wiped from your eyes. A gesture that would've been considered tender, but his other actions made it seem meaningless, “You really are a stupid little thing,” he degraded you in such a sweet, but vicious tone. With your head still pressed flush against his lap, he started a slower pace of thrusting his hips up into your mouth, “You truly think that you can get away from me? That you can pretend to hate me? I'm merciful to only you, yet you don't appreciate it.”
His cock twitched inside your mouth a few times, followed by a loud groan from him. He threw his head back, gasping as his body twitched through an orgasm. His cum shot out of his cock too quickly for you to even attempt to swallow it down and there was so much, it spilled from your lips.
You could only imagine what you looked like when your head was pulled from his cock, your face covered in tears, drool, and cum. You were panting and sobbing, still trying to beg for his forgiveness.
“Your room will be locked and your little diary destroyed,” he used his still firm grip on your head to make you look at you, “You'll burn the book yourself and I want you to be the one to lock the door, it's only fair.”
Through little hics and sobs, you could only ask one question, “H-how…?” How did he know? How did he find out?
“I'll have eyes on you, always on you, for as long as you live,”
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chuluoyi · 8 months
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✎ sick days
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- gojo satoru x reader
who holds the fort when you fall sick? of course, it's your lovesick husband and baby!
genre: fluff, fluff, fluffff. basically, your baby is adorable, gojo is your husband and not only is he lovesick with you, he humors your baby so much it’s making me— sighs
note: based on this post! hi hi chu is back from vacation and here’s another dad!gojo fluff indulgence and we stan domestic men okay🤭
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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It's plain sight that Gojo Satoru is a highly attractive individual, and now that he has a son, it's fair to say that he’s the hottest dilf on the block.
With one hand twirling a famous brand of flu medicine box and the other propping his baby son at his hip, he garnered curious eyes, even in drugstore near his home.
“Hmm, why is it so cheap? Suspicious…”
Satoru let out a light hum, studying the orange and pink boxes, as well as glancing at the other purple box with bold labels claiming its effectiveness in halting cold symptoms, and then looked at his son.
His baby's big, crystal blue eyes blinked in wonder at the vibrant colors, and he reached out with grubby hands towards them. “Bwah!”
Suddenly, he got an idea.
“Hey, kiddo. Which do you think is better for mama?” he asked the baby, gesturing at the all three medicine on the rack with his jaw. “You choose.”
As if on cue, the little ball of fluff that was his son immediately reached out for the purple box, the more expensive out of all three displayed before him. Without missing a beat, he also seized both the orange and pink boxes in quick succession, holding them close to his chest.
Satoru broke into a hearty laugh, a wide grin split his face, as he affectionately tousled the boy's head with pride.
“That's my boy! Splurging is allowed—after all, we're rich!”
When the first signs of cold manifested in you, Satoru was already worried. He had warned you to take more rest, but typical you, you brushed it off as a mere fatigue.
And when this morning, you woke up to sudden coughing fits and hot-and-cold spells, which ended up with kicking him out of your shared bedroom in fear of spreading the virus, like the doting husband he was, Satoru promptly headed to the pharmacy with your baby in tow to get you some help.
"Oh my, sir, your son is so adorable!" the female cashier gushed when he got over to pay, finally voicing what other customers thought in their heads. He could sense the discreet glances from those around him even now.
As the baby clung to his shirt, Satoru tightened his grip on him and responded with a self-assured grin, ensuring those nearby heard his words, "Of course he is! My wife is pretty as heck too, shame she's down with fever today."
"Aww! Such high praise, you must adore your wife!"
"Mm-hmm!"
Ah, so he still has a wife. The other customers went about their day, some disappointed that the dilf was still evidently devoted to his wife. They could only wonder just who could the lucky woman was.
Moving on— after the short trip to the drugstore, Satoru went back home. He promptly checked on you in your master bedroom, inquiring, "Hey, how are—"
But he immediately halted upon seeing you nestled so comfortably under the blankets, sleeping soundly. For a moment, he simply stood, blinking and observing your serene slumber.
Strange that something inside him both softened and lurched at the sight. You were just that precious in his eyes. Stupid as it was, he was quite miserable to go through the day without your nagging and nitpicking. And above all, he never liked seeing you in any kind of discomfort—it made his protective instincts soar.
Hence his thought— there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, even if it means sacrificing heaven itself.
“Myah!” A hard shove on his arm and his baby’s babbling snapped him out of his trance. Satoru shifted his baby to his other hand, let out a questioning hum, and affectionately pinched his mochi-like cheeks.
“Hmm? You can’t be hungry, I—oooh,” a sheepish expression of realization appeared on his face, his blue eyes widened slightly as his baby glared at him. Then, chuckling like the goofball he was, Satoru patted him on his head to appease his grudge, “I haven’t fed you since this morning, eh?”
“Fwah!”
“Pfft! There, there… Me is sorry~ Now let me whip something up for you and mama, yeah?”
Now, he wouldn't claim to be the best chef, but he could certainly cook to save himself. Rolling up his sleeve, he went to the kitchen after leaving and stuffing his baby boy with a pacifier on his high chair.
“Hmmm, baby food for the minion and… congee? Yeah, congee should be good.”
Next task was feeding his already seething baby after he mixed together his baby food. He was a fussy eater—mostly with him, but surprisingly not so much with you (apparently, that's just his way of showing who he favors between his parents, heh). But when he managed to get the food in, with every spoonful, his son’s smile gradually widened, and so did his happiness.
Satoru thought then that he was the cutest thing he had ever created. His son was clearly a mini-him, but his reactions were definitely so you.
“Is it tasty? It is, isn’t it?” he cooed with baby voice, earning a delightful giggle in response from his son. Pushing his luck, he added with a suggestive grin, “Papa is the best, isn’t he?”
“Bwah...” The joyful expression on his baby's face faded instantly, dissolving into an unamused pout, prompting Satoru to righteously click his tongue.
“Why are you so against me?!”
After he was done with his fill, Satoru picked your baby up to the master bedroom to bring you something to eat. Seated on the opposite edge of the bed, he silently adored your sleeping form once again.
Right at that moment, the baby in his arms wriggled, reaching out for you. Acting on a sudden impulse, he put him on the bed, facing you.
“Now, go to mama, would you?” he whispered gently, grinning and giving his bum a light pat. “Go!”
Your son was also Gojo Satoru’s son, therefore he was an adept crawler even at barely seven months old. With remarkable agility, the little soldier steadily moved towards you, his diapers jiggling with each motion. He stopped right in front of your face, clearly recognizing you as his mother.
And your husband swore that even his logic-driven heart melted at the sight of your cute baby suddenly leaned in and clumsily smooched your nose.
Simply just the two most treasured loves of his life.
“Mm?” you let out a soft grunt, feeling the dryness in your throat as you cracked your eyes open, surprised to find yourself face-to-face with your baby. “Oh… why are you here? Don’t get too close…”
“He’ll be fine.” Satoru picked your son up, placing him on his knee and steadying him with one arm. Having moved next to you on the bed, he brushed hair from your forehead. “What about you, hmm? Feeling better?”
Your eyebrows creased into a frown. “Yeah, I think, but more than that, Satoru, I’ve told you, don’t let him—”
“Yes, yes, sweetheart. He won’t get sick, look, he’s as healthy as he can be~” and to make a point, he turned his baby over and lightly smacked his bottom, prompting a whimper from the little one and a gasp from you.
“Don’t spank him!”
“Ehh? Then can I spank you instead?”
“Satoru, you’re a little piece of—!”
Just you and him, as well as the little treasure that was your son. This little family was enough reason to live. To win.
And Gojo Satoru once again thought, that being the strongest didn’t really mean that much anymore because with his world in his hands, nothing else matters.
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Epilogue
“You’re so silly, why did you buy so many?” you grumbled at the sight of three different brands of cold medicine your husband displayed in front of you. “One is enough, do you want me to overdose?”
Satoru snickered. “Don’t blame me, blame your kid. He’s the one picking all of them.”
You totally didn’t get what he meant at all, but yeah, your husband was the silliest human ever and that’s that.
“Hey, don’t you think it’s a bit smelly here?” Satoru suddenly asked, wearing a quizzical expression.
You took a sniff of the air, glancing at your baby blinking innocently and sitting calmly on your husband, and a realization struck you. “Uh, Satoru...”
Following your gaze, as if sensing an omen, Satoru hastily scooped up his son, letting out a bewildered gasp as he felt a slight wetness where the baby had been sitting on him.
“Did he just poo on me?!”
4K notes · View notes
chrissdollie · 1 month
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︶♡︶ OKAY, BET!
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🍭🎀⠀⠀ notes: not proofread!! like always, street racer chris x reader, nicknames (doll, baby, sweetheart, mama, honey), kinda based off the fast and the furious, illegal street racing, nsfw, smut, fingering, semi public sex, messy ass kissing, oral sex (m receiving), soft!dom chris, riding, ‿ ୧ 🎀🍭⠀ word count: 4.3k ( ˵⁠’⁠O⁠’˵ )!!
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"he's tryna get in mad dawg's pants brotha eughh.." your friend nathan snorts. the small market & cafe you and your sister-like friend madi work at is quiet, similar to most days. a few regulars drop by occasionally and update you and the girl about their life before driving off in a fresh, sick car. however, it's a little different today. you hear a childish whisper from your boyfriend's brother, matt, after returning from a lunch break and locking your customized pink honda. nate snickers next to matt, distanced away from madi and a new customer sitting in the cafe. his eyes catch yours from the mini market with a cheeky grin before waving his hand low to invite you over. your hand clutches a brown paper bag filled with lunches for you, madi, and your boyfriend's gang. speaking of your lover, the youngest triplet walks out of the messy male restroom with damp hair, clearly from fixing it up. chris' bored frown is quickly replaced with a toothy smile and a wink upon your entry.
you hurriedly rush past the unfamiliar guest to your crew, handing them their sandwiches out of the bag. "hey mama." chris brings up a hand to your cheek, pecking your glossy lips in greeting. "hi baby." you sweetly smile after pulling away before turning your head towards the stranger. "who's that? never seen him before.." you whisper with pinched eyebrows once your head snaps back. nate shoves a cold-cut sandwich into his mouth, eyes flickering between you and the counter where the blonde-haired individual sits. matt quietly thanks you for lunch and grins at the scene. the boy shrugs, "i dunno-- just showed up outta nowhere. he's got pretty eyes though." he jokes, taking a bite of his sandwich. you giggle lightly, turning around again to watch the madi and the guy interact. "man, he's got a nice cut." nate muffles through a full mouth. chris slaps his bare arm chuckling, "chew your food dumbass". the two playfully bicker as you stare at madi, searching for any signs that may show she's uncomfortable. she seems fine until that bitch salem struts in with her stupid ass ponytail and fugly cowboy boots. she drunkingly plops down on the stool next to the blond, a goofy smile spreading across her face as she pulls shades off her face.
"my, my!" her voice cracks loudly with madi scrunching up her nose. "i've never seen you before. you from outta town?" she smirks, tapping her hot pink nails against the counter melodically.
madi scoffs, annoyed. flicking a strand of hair out of her face, she turns to the four of you knowingly. you sigh, tugging the front of your boyfriend's black tank. "go get her" you fold your arms as your head spins to look at chris. he groans. salem always has a problem with any new people. she's childishly defensive of "her" territory. stupid, yeah. chris brushes past you guys to salem where he pulls her off the stool, matt following behind him. "oh-- hey guys! is this our new pal? the new buddy? fuckin' weirdo i say, tryna FUCK MADI, YOU WEIRD ASS!" salem begins to screech as the two triplets grab ahold of her arms. their faces are stone cold having been through this far too many times before. the blond gets out of his chair, throwing money on the table with an icked expression befire he waving to madi and walking out of the cafe to his car. "BETTER FUCKING RUN, PUSSY!!" salem continues to yell. chris and matt drag her to the back of the building into a tiny office. they throw her on the chair while nate comes up from behind you to grab a water bottle.
"why the fuck are you drunk at 1pm?" chris spits, taking the bottle from nate and shoving it in her hands, tired of dealing with her shit. like he does madi, he considers salem a sister knowing her since their teenage years. unfortunately, that's the main reason why he keeps her around. "you don't turn your back on family", as he says. as you stare at the pitiful girl, you think, if it were your choice, you'd kick her to the curb without a second thought. she's never liked you anyway. you bite the inside of your cheek, watching her rub up against your boyfriend, pushing her drunken state. chris had always made sure she knew her boundaries. don't worry, he's not totally clueless. he's been aware of her feelings for him, but she just doesn't care. the girl abruptly snatches the front of chris' tank into her fist, standing up after slamming the water bottle onto a desk. you roll your eyes, dropping your arms by your side ready to interfere. "alright, alright, that's enough."
the four of you standing around salem turn around to the sight of jimmy sturniolo, the triplets' father. the man who runs this business and had street raced for years before quitting when he reached a mature age. his thin long sleeve is covered in oil from fixing up cars. "hey dad." the two triplets greet him unanimously. jimmy adjusts his cap before slapping his boys on the back as hello with a fatherly smile. "miss yn.." he playfully gasps and bows. you grin back toothily while wrapping your arms around his torso and kissing the side of his wrinkly face. he holds his hand to your cheek with sweet adoration before clearing his throat and turning to salem, nate, and now madi in the office. everyone stays quiet, watching jimmy as he stares back at everyone else blankly. that is until he claps his hands and rubs them together. "race tonight on 4th. i'll be there watching." he smirks, ruffling matt's already messy hair before striding out of the store.
"yo mads, what's up with that dude that was here?" nate wiggles his eyebrows, grabbing a capri sun from the employees' mini fridge. the girl rolls her eyes with a shy smile, shrugging her arms lazily as her silky hair falls behind her. "he just comes around sometimes. it's no biggie, he's nice." she says giving you nervous side glances. you hide your knowing face by turning to a frowning triplet. "hey youu." you poke his cheek with your finger. he hums in response, wrapping both arms around your waist and swaying you away gently. "m gonna race t'night." you state, looking up at the boy while you hold onto him. he sighs, dropping his head onto your bare shoulder, fluffy brunette hair brushing against your skin. "babe.." chris starts. you cut him off almost immediately, "i know, i know! but listen, i'll make sure everything is good, 'kay?" the boy picks his head up, looking down at you while he thinks. you raise your eyebrows hopefully, squeezing onto him a little tighter.
finally he exhales dramatically, throwing his head back. you smile widely. "fine, but i'm checking everything twice!" he pinches the side of your waist. you giggle, giving him a quick kiss. "thank youuu! i'm gonna beat your ass so bad." you grin at the trace of pink lipgloss you left on his lips that he doesn't care to wipe away.
chris scoffs, "okay missy. you wanna bet on that?" he challenges with daring eyes. a loud interruption from one of your boyfriend's employees catches chris' attention. "yo! andre wants the engine fixed boss!" the brunette sighs with a curt nod. you rub your glossy lips together while he reverts his blue eyes back to you, shrugging his sweaty shoulders with disappointment. "duty calls sweetheart." he plants a sweet kiss that was only supposed to be for a second onto your mouth, but you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip teasingly.
grinning playfully, you begin to pull away when a hand lifts from your side and reaches to the back of your head, dragging you back in. chris sucks on your tongue nastily while massaging your waist with his resting hand. then he abruptly pulls away grinning with a string of saliva holding onto both of your mouths. he licks the spit off his pink lips with his long tongue before dropping the rough hand from the back of your head. your pretty lashes flutter back at your boyfriend's smirk dazedly, fixing your little pink skirt from where his hand left. "bye baby." he finishes pulling out a toothpick from his denim pocket and tugging it between his lips before smacking your ass as he walks by you with a chuckle. with smeared lipgloss, you smile gently. that is until you remember the race. you call out to him, "wait! how much are we betting?"
your boy smirks as his head cocks around , still keeping a fast pace. “5 times you gotta make me cum okay?!” that horny loser you call your boyfriend yells back, his hand cupping his mouth. your eyes widen making a “shut the fuck up!!” face. chris giggles before turning his head back around and heading out the door. five times huh? you shake your head with a stupid grin and return behind the counter, picking up your brown paper lunch bag when you do. your eyes scan up to your pink honda parked infront of the cafe. you smile confidently. "okay, bet!"
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chris had tweaked some parts of your car before the race. fixed little things here and there, practically perfected your precious vehicle. you pull up to your designated spot right before the starting line. the large crowd forming cheer at the sight of your pretty car and you inside. you being your sweet, bubbly self, you roll down the passenger window to blow a little kiss to the onlookers and betters. engines around you revving, excited cheers, disgusting catcalls, the sounds were all too familiar. most would argue that a sweet girl like you doesn't belong in this type of area. you used to think so too, but you'd proved your worth here. most people don't fuck with you, not just because of your boyfriend's status, but your true threats. one time, some whore said she'd give chris head since you lost a 1v1 to her friend. you scoffed, telling her you'd slash her tires if she tried. guess who had to visit the repair?
your moment of attention fades into the past when your hot ass boyfriend turns the corner of the street in his glossy orange toyota supra. his black bulletproof tinted windows roll down to flash his toothy, smug, panty-dropping smirk to the audience. one hand on the steering wheel, his other arm wraps around the passenger seat's head, his muscles flex beautifully. your eyes wander all over him. he looks gorgeous, to say the very least. the flag girl pops her bubblegum, a knowing chuckle leaving her mouth. "you winnin tonight?" she cocks a brow with a questioning eye. the egotistical brunette lets a "tsst" past his lips, picking up a can of pepsi from the console. "is the sky fucking blue?"
the flag girl chuckles, sticking her tongue out before heading back to the starting line. your boyfriend's head turns to you with hearts in those blue eyes. "whooo, you're lookin stunning, baby!" chris whistles, fanning himself with his hand playfully. you giggle, fluttering your lashes unconsciously. it was true, you always dress all out for races, from glittery pink eyeshadow on your lids to the chunky mary janes on your lace stocking-covered feet.
"what's a lil thing like you doin here?" an unfamiliar voice calls out to you. a taller viewer next to him smacks the man's chest lightly with a startled face like he just asked the most unimaginable question ever. his head shakes with annoyance before turning his head to you with a sigh. "my bad doll, he ain't from these blocks." you smile. "doll", a sweet nickname given to you from chris and spreading throughout the streets. your attention turns back to him, currently checking all his mirrors. your thighs clench, remembering his words from earlier in the day. whether you win or lose, it's gonna be a good night.
nathan enters your vision as his blue nissan pulls up next to chris. he throws you a friendly wink before getting situated. one more person to go! you adjust your tiny pink miniskirt just before pulling lipgloss out of your purse and reapplying, puckering your glittery lips in the mirror afterward. you hear tires coming up from behind you. you quickly glance to the right to see the final driving you're up against. your little smile drops to a frown almost immediately. "hey princess." salem waves teasingly, both hands gripping the steering wheel. your eyes dart to the figure in her passenger seat. "who's the hunk?" you nod to the guy. she turns her head before rolling her eyes. "i dunno. we're gonna fuck when i win though!" the girl makes direct eye contact with you, biting her lip as she arches her back, her tits pressing into the wheel. her mouth drops open widely, eyes clamping shut pornographically. the man next to her laughs dryly, both hands resting behind his head.
"i'm surprised you could even get in." your sugary voice sasses in reference to the $2,000 buy-in. she scoffs, however not getting to bite back when the announcer waves his hands. you drop the conversation, locking in. hands on the wheel, you look at chris one more time before the race begins. he's already looking at you, a hand on the gear stick. "i love you, best of luck." he comments simply. you dopily smile, "i love you too."
"alright, ready..."
your hand reaches to your gear stick.
"set.."
the mob of people whistle and cheer, most crossing their fingers that they consume more money than they've lost. you're ready, craving the extreme acceleration, close encounters with violently crashing, sharp drifts. the risk is what you race for.
"goo!!"
the flag drops simultaneously when you drop your foot on the gas sharply. the four of you take off, tires screeching as you speed down an empty road leading into the city. it's intense when you reach it, turns fast and swervy. you check your mirrors and see salem following you like a lost puppy. you grin with a scoff. poor thing. you step on your pedal harder, speed rising past 140 miles per hour. you turn into an alleyway, cruising through the tight space with ease. bye bye salem!
you make it out the backstreet, spinning the wheel acutely. you slide into lanes of cars, your favorite part. you hum excitedly, weaving through the vehicles scattered around. you purse your lips noticing nate and chris up not too far ahead. "alrightyy!" you beam, taking a hand off the wheel to fluff your hair. accelerating, you gain on the two boys. they switch lanes fast, and you almost forget which way you're going. cars honk annoyingly at you three, driving at higher speeds than usual. "fucking street racers!" you hear behind you distantly. a clump of traffic catches your attention, races are normally well into the night so this doesn't happen. "dang it." you whisper, swerving onto another road. this'll slow you down for sure, and you have no doubt in your mind that chris will somehow make it past the clutter, the way he knows how to drive.
you make it back onto the track you're familiar with when salem pulls up right next to you. you curse under your breath, using your accelerator and revving your car. you pace ahead just to see chris passing the finish line, and nate not too far behind. you exhale, using all the boost you have left to speed ahead, beating nathan past the finish line by just an inch. “damn!” the boy yells, slamming his palms onto his wheel. you slow down, watching chris climb out of his car as the crowd swarms around him with congratulations. he flashes his toothy smile, lifting the designer shades from his face. he looks so good like this, city lights reflecting onto his chain and belt buckle. he's handed a cash envelope which he proudly takes, thanking the host who begins rambling to him.
though chris' head spins around, looking for you. he almost immediately catches your eye with a satisfied grin, walking away from the person talking to him without a word. he comes up to your rolled down window, leaning on the sill. he waves the orange envelope as nathan and jimmy come up behind him. "let's go celebrate, drinks on me!" chris exclaims, jimmy patting his back with a proud smile. "congrats!!" you smile, leaning over to give him a sweet peck. he cheeses against your lips when you pull away, remembering your bet from earlier in the day. "uh, actually i left something in your car babe. jimmy do you mind driving mine?" you ask innocently, batting your lashes at the older man. he waves his hand, "no problemo doll." chris winks knowingly, your eyes darting from his shyly.
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you and chris hop into his toyota, driving off to the bar where everyone was supposed to meet. "what did you 'leave in here'?" he mocks, one hand on the wheel and the other on your revealed thigh. you giggle, grabbing the hand on your thigh. "chrisss.." you mutter in defeat. suddenly he pulls into a partially deserted spot away from all the buildings. he puts the car in park, ripping off his seatbelt.
"well it looks like i gotta get my second reward huh baby?" chris grins, eyebrows raising teasingly. you purse your lips with an agreeing hum before clumsily shuffling over to his side of the car, lifting the armrest back as you do. with a chuckle, the boy lifts both arms to reach behind the seat, staring down at your face right infront of the noticeable bulge in his pants. you gawk hungrily as you unzip his jeans, dig past his boxers, pulling his hard cock out. he hisses quietly before laying a hand down against the back of your head gently. his eyes soften for a second, clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth, his hand grabbing your chin softly. "hey," he directs your eyes to meet his. "you tell me if it's too much, kay?" his thumb rubs against your cheek delicately as you smile warmly. "okay."
your gaze falls back on the delicious sight before you, your mouth watering. you blink hazily, mouth opening slowly. you give the slightly dripping tip a little stroke when chris' head falls back against the seat, teeth digging into his bottom lip. it's been a while since you went down on your boyfriend, he usually prefers to give you head under normal circumstances, but tonight is all about his pleasure. you stick out your tongue to lay it flat against the head of his dick, the precum sticking onto the pink muscle. you suck as gently as you can, spit beginning to drip out of your mouth. the boy's hand goes back to your head, lightly pushing you down. your mouth opens wider, taking in more of him. he sighs heavily, eyes squeezing shut. "fhuckk, g-good girl. such a good girl, mama." he pants, small grunts falling out of his throat.
you moan contently against his cock, the vibrations scrunching up your boyfriend's face blissfully. you remove your mouth and replace it with your soft hand, finger pressing against his tip while you turn your head to the side to lick a long stripe along the base. "o-oh god.. yesss, fuck!" the brunette mutters, teeth gritting as his hand rubs the back of your head comfortingly. you go back to sucking him off, deciding to speed this up as you feel your panties getting stickier as seconds pass. one of your hands pump the length you can't reach with your mouth while the other slides down your body to your crotch where you rub your clit in small circles. of course chris notices, a cheeky grin spreading across his gorgeous face. "this gettin you off baby? ahshhitt, 'm gonna take care of you in a sec, doll. s'close.."
you're making such a mess on his dick, it's disgusting. saliva dripping down his girthy length while he fights the urge to rut his hips up into your mouth. “oh god i’m gonna cum.” he groans, wiping strands of hair out of your face. you pull your head up slightly with tears down your face to swirl your tongue in circles on his tip. and just like that, his load spurts down your throat. he hums contently, eyes squeezed shut. you slurp what's left of his release before getting off him with a popping "p".
you wipe your bottom lip with your manicured finger, staring at the mess you've made chris with a lustfully fuzzy head. you dumbly whine, pushing your skirt down your legs. chris chuckles, "yeah i know what y'need sweetheart, c'mere." he coos, patting his lap and scooting his chair back so you have space to climb onto him. your skirt is thrown behind you onto your seat before latching onto your boyfriend's beefy arms like a koala. he gently kisses your puffy cheeks, hands resting on your hips as you hoist yourself above him. you glance at your boyfriend's face that's filled with love and longing. you needily crane your neck down to smash your lips onto his. he grunts in surprise before slithering his hands down to cup your asscheeks. it's all teeth and tongue really, he sucks on your tongue sloppily, devouring you as much as possible.
"won it f'you."
you moan into his mouth, thin panties brushing against the head of his dick. chris brings a thumb to your needy clit, slowly rubbing in small circles. you were already dripping just from tasting him, the stimulation on your pearl only adding to your arousal. you whine, unintentionally rolling your hips onto his finger. his arm moves from your hip to wrap around your waist, holding you more securely. you quietly squeal and squirm when he applies harder pressure. you let out tiny strings of "mm"s as you slowly sink down onto his big dick. he watches with hungry eyes, cooing, "doing so good honey."
"so full-- inside me.." you babble, hips finally pressing against his as you bottom out. your face twists in a mix of pain and pleasure as chris sighs in relief, hands at your hips again. he lets you get used to him, leaning forward to distract the small feeling of pain while you get used to his length. he sucks on your cute wet lips that gush out drool while your hands come up to grab his face. his hips uncharacteristically buck up at your soft touch. you pull away from his lips to whine loudly, his head pushing against your chest, hand pulling down your shirt to reveal your perky tits. he groans, smushing his face onto one, latching his lips on the bud and sucking roughly. "chriss.." you moan, your hips starting to move. he praises you with a mouthful of boob, "start movin' baby-- yeah, good girl.. ride this dick." he spits out any thought in his mind as you start to pick up the pace.
"gonna make you feel good, baby!" you whimper, bouncing on his cock with all your strength. he grunts, head pulling away from your chest. you're not usually on top, you and chris both prefer him taking care of you. but shit, you're doing so well right now. "my girl must've been waiting all day huh?" he teases, though you don't see through his pestering. "yeah.. all day." you shut your eyes, the squelching of your slick getting louder as you wear youself out. "looked s-so good winning, chris." his heart swells with pride, an strong rush flowing through his body. he sits up straighter, hands gripping your sides and ruts himself up into you. his feet plant on the floorboard of his car, pounding up into you as hard as he can. sweat drips down both of your foreheads, moans in unison. you cry, your back arching against the steering wheel. "oh fuck." chris whispers, watching you come undone. he rubs your clit again and licks a long stripe up the valley of your tits. "ohmygosh, m gonna--" you whine.
"i know, angel. want you to cum, it's okay." he utters smoothly.
he feels you squirting around his cock, completely soaking his lower half and the seat. watching you only pushed him over the edge further, releasing hard inside of you. you moan happily, feeling his warm liquid spill into your body. your face is flushed, hand sliding down chris' abs while he sputters out curses, dick still throbbing even after cumming. "so good, love you baby." you kiss him, licking his teeth. your lower half starts to move again, rolling against him. with a gentle hand, he pulls your face off his. "nono, we gotta get home. not gonna fuck you in here again, gotta do it good." he rambles, grabbing your skirt from your seat. "three more times, remember?" he smugly grins, flashing his pearly whites. you shyly smile, resting your head on his shoulder. "okay." you whisper as he rubs your back with a large hand. he kisses your head, not bothering to move you when he moves the gear stick to drive. "how about later we go get that designer purse you wanted?" he beams, loving being able to treat his girl in any way he can.
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its finally outt!!!! after a month of saying i was gonna release it oopsies... anyway! hope u enjoyed, ending was kinda rushed but oh well. i kinda just realized that i never did anything with salem regarding to her crush on chris... sorry abt that!! ♡
🍭🎀⠀⠀ tags @leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht @mattttypooh @harrys-whorecrux @cherry-red-heart @ananskanansbsnwbensb @https--roman
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hollybell51 · 2 years
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Don't bet on it
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Castiel x AFAB!fem!Reader
Supernatural (2005)
Word count: 9.6K (I'm shocked too dw)
Summary: I have no idea how to describe this I'm so sorry it's just smut. There's also some morning-after shenanigans. Believe me if I could I would but thinking of a title was hard enough.
Content: Just... pretty much 9.6K words of shameless Cas smut because I love him. Only one bed, porn with a plot, friends to lovers (sort of), little bit of hurt/comfort and first aid (?), Cas is a bit of warning honestly. Smut: Cas is a virgin, first kiss, making out, hickeys, blowjob, handjob, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (yikes), fingering, very very light dirty talk, very loving very gentle sex, sharing a bed. Dean is a bit of an oblivious idiot, Sam is less oblivious.
Notes: I wrote this while trying to fall asleep at my friend's house and didn't proof read. I've also only known Cas for six episodes (almost seven), so most of the characterisation for him is based of gifsets, incorrect quotes, and other fanfics (so is the lore/plot because I'm not that far into the series yet but I was impatient so just ignore any mistakes or plot inconsistencies if you find them, although I did try). Hence it's probably bad. But oh well, this wouldn't leave my brain until I wrote it and like I said I'm impatient and also I'm a little bit proud of the smut alone and he's fucking hot I mean come on. Dean Winchester is a better man than me because god damn I would've jumped his bones the second he looked at me and I have no idea how he didn't. Be nice.
Cas was watching you. Again. It wasn’t like you minded, but something about his cool eyes following your movements from across the booth made butterflies swirl in your stomach. You were acutely aware of every single bubble in your glass of lemonade, every clink of the ice cubes, every slurpy noise it made through the straw you were sucking on. You probably looked a bit stupid, hunched over your drink and the plate that had contained your burger, the huge shirt you’d borrowed from Sam while the one you’d packed for yourself dried rolled up to your elbows, hanging off your shoulders way too much to ever be considered cute. Not that you wanted to look cute, and not that it mattered, but…
“There’s a pharmacy down the street,�� Sam was saying. “They’d probably have more of that antiseptic, right?” 
There was a pause in which you snuck a glance at Cas. His gaze was fixed on the bubbles clustering on your straw, mildly interested as they formed and floated away, formed and floated, again and again in an endless cycle. You’d never found bubbles so fascinating, but now that you looked – and you knew he was looking too – there’d never been anything so beautiful. 
“(Y/N)?” 
Right, yeah, antiseptic. The cut on your shoulder seemed to itch at the thought, prickling under the carefully applied dressing. You’d done it on a barbed wire fence that had barred the entry to a nest of vampires, and a day later Sam was still worried it would get infected. It wasn’t exactly a clean cut – the fence had been filthy, and your assurance that yes, you were up to date with tetanus shots had stopped him driving you to a hospital. You appreciated the concern, but really, you were sure it would be fine. 
“Mhm,” you answered, leaning back in your seat. “D’you think it’ll still be open?” 
Beside you, Dean frowned, looking around for a clock. “It’s not that late, right?” 
“There’s an open sign in the window.” All eyes swung to Cas, who shrugged, pointing. “It’s lit up,” he added. 
“Oh, right,” you said faintly. “Thanks Cas.” 
He smiled, a tiny twitch of his lips that had no right to make your heart speed up as much as it did. “That’s ok.” 
You smiled back. Your face seemed determined to ignore your brain and grin like an idiot, and it was a damn struggle to keep it to a normal expression. 
“Right,” Sam said, clearing his throat and bursting the little bubble you could have sworn you’d been stuck in. You would have liked to stay there, where it was just Cas smiling at you. But no, you were being silly. 
“Right,” you echoed. There was a slightly awkward silence, in which you swirled your straw around idly, watching Cas watch the movement of ice cubes and bubbles. When you’d first met him, you hadn’t really believed he was an angel. He seemed so… ordinary. Shabby, even. But the longer you were around him, the surer you’d become that he was the real deal. Strange, not what you’d expected at all, but a real honest-to-goodness angel nonetheless. Even now that he was human, there was still definitely something otherworldly in Cas. Something that, despite the grime and rust of the lives all four of you lead, was almost pure, precious to you, and a little unnerving all at once. 
“Do you want some?” you asked, gesturing to your drink. 
Cas’s eyes snapped up, almost guiltily. 
You smiled. “Lemonade.” 
He nodded slowly.
“Here.” You pushed the glass across the table, leaning your chin on your hands and watching as he moved the straw around, then sipped it. You’d been having way too much fun plying him with new things to taste, since food now actually tasted like… food. As opposed to molecules. Apparently. 
He wrinkled his nose, drawing back and staring at the glass. Then he leaned forward again and took another sip. There was something in his near-childlike wonder that made your heart ache, the appearance of innocence and naivety so profound that it was hard to remember he was – had been – a soldier. A divine soldier of God. Watching him made you want to reach across the table and just… Well, you didn’t know what it made you want to do. Grab him, maybe? It didn’t matter. 
“Any good?” Dean asked, watching Cas mildly. 
“It’s very sweet,” he reported. “And sticky.” 
Despite yourself, you laughed. 
Cas surveyed you, then gave another of those little smiles you’d come to treasure. He took another sip, his eyes never leaving your face. 
You cleared your throat, suddenly hyper aware of exactly where you were and what you were supposed to be doing. Not staring at – “mooning over” Dean had teasingly called it not even three days ago, a thought that still plagued you – Cas, that was for sure. You slid out of the booth, since you were the one who needed the antiseptic and you were on the edge. “I’ll go across, meet you back at the hotel.” 
“You sure?” Sam asked, watching as you dropped some money on the table. Enough to cover your burger and a small portion of the tip. 
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” You turned towards Cas, shooting him a small smile. He looked a little confused, and you couldn’t deny the pang of guilt that tugged at your insides. “You can finish that off,” you told him, “if you want.” 
“Thankyou,” he said after a moment. 
“Yeah, sure.” You nodded to Sam and Dean, the former of whom was staring between you and Cas with a look of what could only be described as incredulity plastered across his face. You were going to ignore it, you decided. “Seeya later,” you said, and left. 
You stood before the motel room, shopping bag in hand, staring at Sam’s text. Had he and Dean done this deliberately? Was this some kind of conspiracy between the two of them? 
“Room 09,” the message read, “you’re sharing with Cas.” And then, shortly after; “Don’t worry, it’s a double.” 
Well, you thought, at least you wouldn’t have to share a bed, and at least you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt of Cas taking the couch – even though he insisted he didn’t mind, and refused to let you do it. 
Just as you raised your hand to knock, the door swung open and there stood the former angel, still in his beige trench coat, tie and all. He hadn’t even taken his shoes off. 
“Hi,” you said, slightly breathless. There was something stupidly endearing about the way he just stood there, looking at you. 
“Hi,” he repeated. “Do you want to come in?” 
“Uh, yeah.” Awkwardly, you squeezed past him into the dully lit room, switching on the light with your elbow. Had he just been sitting in here by himself, in the dark? You hoped not, but at the same time, it was exactly the sort of thing you could imagine him doing. 
You deposited your groceries – the antiseptic, a new packet of dressings, painkillers, and a twix you’d grabbed at the counter. You’d figured you could share it with whoever your roomie was, and now you were glad you’d had that foresight. You turned, surveyed the room, then did a double take. Surely not. There had to be something you were missing. 
But no, on closer inspection, your eyes were not deceiving you. There was only one bed. A double bed, sure, but still only one bed. 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you muttered, already reaching for your phone. 
“What’s wrong?” Cas asked, a concerned wrinkle appearing between his brows. 
“Sam said this was a double,” you told him. 
“It is.” 
“Yeah, but there’s only one bed. I always feel bad kicking you to the couch.” 
“I don’t mind. And besides,” he added, “you’ve never kicked me.” 
“No it’s–” you broke off, catching his smile. “Yeah, alright” 
The smile widened. He was a little too proud of himself for your liking. 
You looked away, hoping to hide your own grin as you dialled Sam’s number. “You said it was a double,” you accused before he could even greet you. 
“Yeah, hi to you too,” he snorted. “It is.” 
“There’s only one bed, Sam. Does your room have only one bed?” 
“No, we’ve got two singles.” 
“Lucky you,” you practically spat. “Now I’m gonna have to live with the guilt of knowing Cas is on the couch.” 
“So?” You could almost hear the frown in Sam’s voice. “He doesn’t mind.” 
“I know, but–” 
“Share the bed with him if it bothers you that much,” he cut you off. In the background, Dean was saying something. Sam shushed him. “I’m sure he’d be happy to.” 
“What’s that supposed to–” 
He interrupted you again, all too cheerful. “You’ll sort it out.” 
You stared at the phone, “call ended” flashing up at you. “Fuck you, Sam,” you sighed. 
By the door, Cas frowned. “Is something the matter?” 
“No,” you sighed again, grabbing the dressings and antiseptic and taking a seat on the end of the singular bed. Through the gap in the curtains, the sky was darkening from the pale purple it had been at the diner to a deep indigo. “Just… Sam.” 
Cas nodded solemnly, as if he knew exactly what you meant. 
You tried not to pay too much attention to him as you unbuttoned Sam’s shirt, sliding it down off your shoulder to bare the current dressing. You’d had it on all that day and the night before, so you figured it was time to change it. Gently, you peeled back the adhesive, hissing as the air brushed over the cut. It wasn’t as bad as it had been, mostly scabbed over and less raw-looking than when you’d first applied the dressing, but it was still tender. It was awkward to reach too, running from your shoulder along your collarbone, stopping just shy of the centre of the sternum. Stupid, you’d cursed yourself when you’d done it, and you cursed yourself again now. 
“Would you like some help?” 
You looked up, meeting Cas’s eyes. Soundlessly, he’d crossed the room and was now standing directly in front of you. 
He gestured to the cut. “It looks hard to reach.” 
“Uh, yeah, it is.” You shifted over, making room for him beside you. “Thanks.” 
“You’re welcome.” He sank down beside you, his weight tilting you towards him. Your stomach lurched. 
Determinedly dismissing it, you turned slightly to face him, one leg dangling off the side of the bed, the other folded under you. Almost immediately you wished you hadn’t done it, because now all you could see was him, bent over you, his face impassive and focused to a fault. 
He took the antiseptic from you, gently dabbing it along the edges of the scab. 
“Is that alright?” he asked when you gasped softly. 
“Mhm,” you nodded. “Just… stings a little.” 
Guilt flashed across his face. “Oh, I’m sorry.” 
“No, no, it’s not you. You’re fine,” you assured him. “It’s the antiseptic, it’s normal.” 
“Should I keep going?” 
You nodded, your heart racing. His skin was cool where it brushed yours, the shitty lighting somehow playing tricks with the colours in his eyes, making them appear even more startlingly blue than usual. Those eyes were fixed on your cut, like it was the only thing that mattered in the world. 
“I wish you’d taken me with you,” he said as he reached for a dressing pad. 
“Hm?” You frowned, unsure what he meant. You’d gone alone, which wasn’t why you’d fumbled crossing the fence, but it certainly hadn’t helped. Sam and Dean had been after a demon in the next town over – it took precedence over vampires, you all knew that – and Cas had been with them. You’d been convinced you’d be alright to tackle such a small nest, it was only three, barely a nest at all, and had insisted on it. But still, you’d been a bit more wired than usual, and that was probably to blame for your bungled entrance. It didn’t matter now, you were fine. They were dead. 
He shrugged, smoothing the dressing over your skin more gently than you’d ever thought possible. “On the hunt. I wish you’d taken me with you.” 
“Nah,” you shook your head, trying to dispel the ache his action caused inside you. “You had other stuff on. You don’t need to be wasting time running after a nest of vampires, demons take priority.” You smiled. “You’ve got more to worry about than a silly little hunter who can’t jump fences.”
Cas looked up, that little wrinkle reappearing on his forehead. “That’s not true,” he said, “I’ll always have time for you. I’ll always worry about you.” 
You froze, taken aback by the… intimacy of the words. You’d mentioned before that you liked when people just said what they meant (“Even if it hurts you?” he’d asked, frowning. You’d said that you’d rather that than be left searching for double meanings and hidden clues, and he’d seemed to find that acceptable.), and since then he’d indulged you in that regard. But this felt different, it felt more real than anything he’d ever said to you before. He’d always have time for you, he worried about you. 
“Really?” you asked. “You mean that?” 
He nodded, his eyes sincere where he held your gaze. There was something here, you knew, something tingling in the air between you. You’d half thought you were imagining things when you noticed him looking at you. You’d chalked it up to him being, well, Cas, and hadn’t allowed yourself to dwell too long on the glimmer of hope that it was more than that. And he’d been an angel for Pete’s sake; divine, untouchable, totally out of your reach. But here, now, with his hand resting where it had settled on your thigh and his face inches from yours, the dimness of the motel somehow illuminating every dancing fleck of colour in his eyes, every beautiful shadow and line on his – human – face, you weren’t ignoring it any longer. 
His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke. “You’re important to me, (Y/N).” 
Oh. Oh. There it was.
He was still looking at you, but there was a hint of what you would have said was nervousness, maybe apprehension, mixed with the sincerity and lingering concern in his eyes. It was so… raw. You felt strangely vulnerable, while at the same time like you were seeing something you weren’t supposed to. 
Involuntarily, your eyes flicked down to his lips, your breath hitching in your chest. Fuck it, you thought, then closed the few inches of space between you and pressed your lips to his. 
He was completely motionless, and for a wild moment you were convinced you’d grossly misread something and had just made a massive mistake. Then it was like he was coming to life beneath you, pushing back against you, his lips parting under yours, his free hand finding its place cupping your cheek. His mouth was soft, impossibly soft. His tongue, when you brushed against it with your own, tasted like your lemonade. 
It was near dead silent in the room, the ticking of the clock on the wall and the distant thrumming of traffic outside the only noises. Then, as you slid your hand up over his leg, fingers squeezing gently at his thigh, Cas made a sound. 
It was halfway between a sigh and moan, tiny and restrained, and you could feel him hesitate in the kiss. This is new, it said. This is nice. You let your lips curve into the smile they’d been trying to, squeezing again. It’s alright, you told him with your hand, you’re alright. 
You drew back momentarily, sucking a quick breath as Cas chased you, his hand on the back of your neck pulling you closer and closer and closer and closer and impossibly closer until your chest met his. Then you were shifting into his lap, swinging your leg over his and straddling his hips like it was the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it was. It sure felt like it. 
“Cas,” you breathed, breaking away properly this time and raising your hands to cup his face. “Castiel.” 
“Hm?”
You moved your thumb in a soft arc over his cheekbone, smiling as he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. His lips found your hand, peppering your palm and wrist with featherlight kisses. 
“Can I?” you asked, reluctantly freeing a hand to push at the trench coat he was still wearing. 
He looked up, frowning. “What?” 
“Take it off,” you whispered, then heat rose in your cheeks. “If you want to, of course. If you want this. You don’t have to.” 
He shook his head, pulling back to shrug off the heavy piece of clothing. The blazer followed. He loosened his tie, then seemed to think for a moment before undoing it altogether. It was the first time you’d seen him without it, and he looked… different. Unguarded, almost. Then he was reaching up and unfastening the buttons of his shirt, torturously slowly. He paused, meeting your eyes. 
“Is this alright?” he asked. 
You smiled, nodding. You’d been staring, you realised, watching his deft fingers work at the material so intently that you hadn’t been thinking about what would show on your face. You took over, finishing off the last few fastenings and pushing the shirt back off his shoulders. You didn’t know what you’d expected his body to look like. You’d had the vague notion that it would be nice, that it would somehow match the rest of him, and you hadn’t been wrong, but now that he was in front of you that same disconcerting feeling of unearthliness haunted the back of your mind. This was Cas, Castiel, and that made it somehow hallowed – irony aside. 
“Are you alright?” He was peering up at you, apprehensive. 
You nodded. “Are you?”  
He echoed your gesture, his fingers running along the collar of your own shirt. A question, a request, testing the waters. 
Careful of your still-tender shoulder, you reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it smoothly over your head, then undid your bra and cast it to the side. Cas’s eyes snapped to your chest, interest and a sort of hunger mixing on his face. Hesitantly, slowly, his hand inched up your waist to your ribs, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. He paused. 
“It’s ok,” you breathed. When he still seemed wary, you reached down and took his hand in your own, guiding it to your breast and giving a gentle squeeze. His breath hitched, his tongue darting out between his lips. 
“I’m…” he broke off, swallowing hard. He shifted, a hard bulge pressing against your thigh. You smiled.
“Hm?” 
“I’m… I’m kind of…” He stopped again, floundering. 
“It’s alright, Cas. You’re alright.” 
He looked up, something close to nervousness dancing across his face. “I haven’t done this before,” he whispered. “I don’t know…” 
Oh. Right. Why hadn’t you thought of that? It made sense, you supposed. Despite Dean’s best efforts, Cas hadn’t picked up the other guy’s… habits, at least not yet. You’d wondered about it briefly before coming to the conclusion that it had to be an angel thing, a choice on his behalf. You knew some people didn’t want that with just anyone, which you could understand. What you couldn’t understand was a world where nobody was interested in Cas, but then again, you might have been biassed. 
You bit your lip. “Do you want to? It’s ok if you don’t.” 
“I do,” he said, his hand still resting on your chest. “I really do, (Y/N). But I don’t know… what to do.” 
“I’ll help you,” you assured him, affection blooming in your gut. And alongside it, an odd sort of pride. Cas was trusting you here, enough to admit he didn’t know what to do. It was more than any guy you’d ever been with had been willing to give away. 
“We’ll go slow,” you continued. “You tell me what you like, what feels good. If you wanna stop, you say so, ok?” 
He nodded. 
You took his face in your hands again, running your fingers over the rough stubbled coating his jaw. “Can I touch you?” 
“Please,” he murmured. 
You trailed your hand down his neck, along his collar bone, over his chest. His skin was soft, smooth. It wasn’t scarred like Dean or Sam’s or your own, and suddenly you wondered if that was somehow a turn off for him. He’d been an angel, immortal, eternal, unblemished even now. If he hadn’t done this before, or even if he had with a normal human, he probably wouldn’t have encountered the kind of skin a hunter such as yourself possessed. Would it bother him? 
Then his chest heaved under your hand, the flesh twitching as your touch crept lower, sideways, up again, mapping the expanse of his torso. He moaned softly as you pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, fingers splayed over his heart. Again, you swept down the centre of his body, all thoughts of your own imperfections dashed from your mind as you revelled in the little hums of pleasure you were coaxing from him. 
Carefully, slowly, you inched lower. You passed his belly button, the light trail of hair that led down from it, finally encountering his belt buckle. You paused, tracing aimless patterns over the skin just above the waistline of his pants, pushing your fingers below the material after a moment. 
“Is this alright?” you asked, watching his face. His eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed. 
“Mhm,” he sighed. “Yes.” 
You smiled. God, he was beautiful. “You wanna take ‘em off?” 
At that, his eyes snapped open, the pupils so wide they almost obscured the blue of his irises. “My pants?” he asked. 
You nodded. “You don’t have to, but…” You ran your hand lightly over the increasingly noticeable bulge you could feel. “I can touch you? Here.” 
He stared. “Do you want to?” 
You gave a little huff of laughter, nodding. “Only if you do. I can keep touching you other places if you want, I can kiss you…” You stopped as he deftly reached down and undid his belt, button and fly in one fluid motion, lifting his hips momentarily and kicking off his pants. It was very fast, impressively smooth. And underneath… 
Your mouth watered at the sight. The outline of his cock straining against his underwear, a small wet patch already forming. You usually didn’t indulge the mantra of “bigger is better”, especially not when it came to penises, but there was no denying that your pussy was already aching at the thought of the stretch Cas’s would cause. Not that it was a behemoth, far from it, but he was certainly well endowed.
His voice snapped you from your reverie, jerking your gaze away from his dick and back to his face. “Is that…” he paused, searching your gaze anxiously. “Is it alright?” 
Your heart melted. “Oh, Cas,” you sighed. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Just perfect.” 
A sound that could only be described as whine slipped from his still kiss-bruised lips, sending a bolt of heat shooting down your spine to pool between your legs. Before the request had formed on your tongue, he shed his underwear too, leaving himself bare to you. 
“Have you touched yourself?” you asked, jerking your gaze from his cock. Fuck, you’d never wanted to lay hands on a dick more in your life. 
Cas looked away for a moment. “No,” he said. “Should I have?” 
You shook your head. “It’s up to you. I’d like to, if you’re ok with it.”
“Touch me?” 
“Mhm.”  
He opened his mouth, closed it again, then nodded.
“Ok.” Dammit, you thought. If this was his first time, you wanted him to feel good. Would he tell you if he didn’t? You thought he would, he was always honest when you asked him to be, and he clearly wanted this. But it was that same want that made you wonder if he’d just keep going no matter what, and you didn’t want that. 
You quickly spat into your hand, stretching up, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Then, on second thoughts, you licked softly at his bottom lip. His breath rushed against your skin, the kiss hot and messy and barely even a kiss at all. It was more you licking into Cas’s mouth, Cas experimenting with his tongue in yours. After a few tries he found a rhythm, soft and supple, gentle and careful. Wonderful. 
It was then that you reached down with your spit-lubed hand, wrapping your fingers around his throbbing length, coating the whole thing with moisture. There was already a little precum beading on the tip, and you used that too, your hand sliding easily. The skin here was smooth too, apart from the thick veins and swell of the head, the slit that you ran your thumb over, causing Cas to moan – really moan – into your mouth.
“Like this?” you murmured, moving your kisses away from his lips, over his stubble-roughed jaw, down to his neck. You sucked gently at the hollow under his jaw bone, hot and wet, leaving a red mark behind. You moved further down, over his jugular, more and more hickeys blossoming in your wake. 
“Ah, (Y/N), yes–” Cas gasped. “Oh, just like that, please.” 
You hummed softly, his breathlessness coupled with the words themselves like fog clouding your mind. All you wanted was more. More of his ragged voice, more of the desperate pleading, more of his hips jerking up into your hand and as your fingers slid smoothly over his cock. Your mouth paused at the base of his throat, made more apparent by the strain in his neck – the Plender gap, you thought it might have been called. You could vaguely picture that word with an arrow pointing to the spot on a medical diagram, although you weren’t sure why – and sucked a particularly dark hickey into the skin there. His collar would cover it in the morning. 
His hand, which had been flitting about your waist, suddenly found its way to your hair. His fingers tangled in it, pulling your head back up so he could kiss you again. You smiled, your own free hand squeezing at his thigh just as you had before. 
He moaned again, deep in the back of his throat, the sound reverberating through your whole body. How had you waited this long? If you’d known it’d be like this, you’d have jumped his bones the second you laid eyes on him. Hell, you’d wanted to. 
“Can I use my mouth?” you asked between kisses – they still weren’t really kisses by any stringent definition, too messy for that. 
“You are, hm, using your mouth,” Cas pointed out. 
You laughed. It was so… matter of fact. “I mean down here,” you explained, giving his dick a gentle squeeze. “I can keep doing this if you want, but…” 
“But?”
“I wanna taste you, Cas,” you smiled. 
His mouth fell open, his cheeks colouring. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he was new to this, you supposed. “Taste me?” 
“Mhm,” you nodded, ducking forward to nip at his lip. “Wanna feel you in my mouth, wanna choke on your cock. I’ll make you feel so good, Cas, I promise.” 
“(Y/N).” His voice was even more gravelly than usual, roughened by the raw desire glinting in his eyes. 
“Mhm?” 
“Are you sure?” 
“That’s sweet,” you laughed again. “I’m sure, Cas. Remember you can stop me whenever you want, though, yeah?” 
“Yeah, alright.” 
“Alright?” 
He kissed you again, more gently and with more precision than before, then nodded. “Go ahead.” 
You felt a grin break across your face, your mouth already watering. You didn’t waste time, giving Cas a quick peck on the cheek before sliding off the edge of the bed and kneeling between his legs, your arms resting comfortably on his thighs. You ignored the slight pull of your cut, taking his cock once more in your hand and pumping it gently, once, twice, three times before you lowered your head and kissed the tip. 
Cas’s stomach twitched, his hand going once more to your hair as his breath caught in his throat. 
“Alright?” you asked, your own breath ghosting over the sensitive area, raising goosebumps. 
“Yes,” he sighed. “Keep going?” 
You smiled. “Magic word?” 
“Please,” he practically growled. 
Alright then. You slid your lips over him, relaxing your mouth as you sank as far down his length as you could. What wouldn't fit in your mouth was taken care of by one hand, the other busy holding his hips down. He nearly whined when you moved, bobbing your head back and forth slowly at first, but faster by the minute. 
“Oh,” he panted, “oh, (Y/N), yes–” 
“Good?” you mumbled, but it didn’t come out sounding like the original word at all. Still, Cas seemed to get the point.  
“So good, feels so good. You feel so good, (Y/N), you have no idea.” 
The praise went straight to your panties, pooling with the rest of the hot wetness that had been gathering steadily. You’d wanted to take your time, be as careful and gentle as he’d been with you. But now, breathing in the smell of him, feeling the weight and the heat of him, you were losing your composure. 
“Oh,” he whispered again as you sped up, your hand moving in tandem with your mouth. He dick was slick with your spit and only getting messier, the saltiness of his precum mixing with the lingering sweetness of your lemonade. 
You moaned, the vibrations jolting Cas’s hips despite his best efforts to stay still, as well as your hand attempting to hold him down. You gave a tiny huff of laughter out your nose, lowering your head even further until the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, relaxing completely. 
“(Y/N),” he panted. “(Y/N).” 
“Hm?” You glanced up at him, your eyes watering slightly. He made a sound you’d thought only existed in pornos as his fingers tightened in your hair. 
“You look… ah, so…” He paused, the words choked by another moan as your tongue swirled around his cock. “So beautiful.” 
For the second time, your heart felt like it was melting in your chest. You smiled, your enthusiasm doubling. You were gonna make him cum in your mouth, you were determined. And after that – if he wanted, of course – you’d spread your legs for him and let him fuck you senseless. 
He was close, he was so damn close, cock twitching and fingers clutching desperately at you despite his best attempts to be gentle. “I’m–” He broke off, gasping. “So much, (Y/N), it’s so much.” 
You wondered if you should stop, if you should pull back and ask if he was ok. If he’d never done this before and hadn’t touched himself either, it was unlikely that he’d ever experienced an orgasm. Maybe you should reassure him. You ran your free hand down his thigh, squeezing gently. It’s alright, you tried to say with the gesture, hoping he’d understand. I’ve got you, you’re alright. 
Then he was groaning deeply, his head thrown back and his eyes closed, thighs shaking under you and hot saltiness shooting down your throat. His skin shone with sweat, his chest heaving, his hand gripping your hair so tight it almost – almost – hurt. But it couldn’t have, not when your throat was working to swallow every drop of what he was giving you, not when he looked so beautiful laid out bare above you, not when you could see the pure, raw pleasure painted on his face. 
As gently as you could, you drew back and licked him clean. You rested your head on his thigh, placing a soft kiss there, then drew back and sat, waiting. 
Finally, Cas opened his eyes and looked at you. He took in your swollen lips, the flush you could feel dusting your cheeks, the tears that had leaked from your eyes, the bird’s nest that was your hair. And he smiled, reaching out a hand to help you up. 
“Are you alright?” you asked, settling back on the bed beside him. You took his hands, holding them close to you. “It wasn’t… too much?” 
“It was wonderful,” he said solemnly. Then he looked away. “Can I…”
“Yeah?” you prompted. “Can you…?” 
He turned back, meeting your eyes. “I want to make you feel like that, too.” 
Your stomach did a flip. “Oh.” 
“Will you show me?” Cas’s eyes searched yours, curious and sincere. And how the hell could you say no to him?
You nodded, unbuttoning your pants and casting them off – admittedly with much less grace and efficiency than Cas. After a moment’s hesitation you did the same to your underwear, dropping them carelessly over the edge of the bed. You could hunt for them in the morning. 
He was watching you the whole time, eyes following every movement you made in that way that was so him. You’d been unnerved by it before you’d gotten to know him, but now it just turned you on. 
Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out and ran his hand over your stomach, up, up, up until he reached your breast. He didn’t stop as he had before, his thumb skimming your hard nipple, making you suck in a harsh breath. 
“Is this alright?” he asked. 
You nodded. “Mhm.” 
“What about this?” He slid lower, past your belly button to where your leg joined your hip. It sent tingles running through your whole body. 
“Mhm.” 
“This?” Lower still, over your thigh, along the inside of it, so close to where you wanted him most. 
“Yeah, Cas, you don’t have to ask.” 
“I want you to feel–” 
You stopped him with a kiss, brief and gentle. “Whatever you do is gonna feel great, ok?” 
“But I’m–” 
“Cas.” 
He fell silent when you placed your hand on his face, leaning into your touch. 
“Don’t worry,” you whispered. “I’m gonna help you, remember?”
He nodded, leaning forwards to press his lips against yours. He was getting pretty good at kissing, you noted. Not that he’d been bad when you’d started, but he’d figured out what worked with you. 
“Show me,” he urged, the hand that had been tracing over your leg finding yours. “Show me where to touch you.” 
This is it, you thought as he drew back, watching where his fingers twined with your own. He had officially smashed apart your standards for all men – and former angels – with just six words. You did as he asked, drawing his hand down between your legs to your now practically drenched pussy. 
“Here,” you murmured, a little shock going through you as your fingers brushed your clit. 
Cas’s eyes were wide, the pleasure-haze from his orgasm all but gone now. “Here?” he confirmed, pressing gently at the stiff little bundle of nerves. 
“Yes,” you gasped, your voice much less steady than you’d have liked. 
“Like this?” He slid his finger in a careful circle around it, his eyes never leaving your face. 
“Yes, Cas, just like that.” 
He did it again, then again and again. You sucked a harsh breath through your teeth, your hips twitching involuntarily. 
“Fuck,” you moaned. “Fuck, Cas.” 
“Is this alright?” he asked mildly. 
“More than alright,” you half laughed, half panted. You broke off in another moan as he moved his hand, sliding the tips of his fingers around your hole, his palm pressing against your clit. You briefly wondered if he was doing it deliberately or just experimenting, and if he’d heard something about how to finger girls somewhere. If so, you wanted to know where. But, you thought a moment later, who really cared when it felt so damn good? 
“Can I?” he murmured, watching your face carefully. 
“Yeah,” you nodded frantically. “Yeah, go ahead— please.” The word was torn from you in a way that made colour bloom over Cas’s face as he pushed his finger into you. The heel of his hand was still pressing on your clit, and you ground down on it in a desperate search for friction as he added another finger, your own fingers digging into his shoulders and your breath coming in short gasps. 
“Am I…” he started, then swallowed. “Is this good?” 
“So fucking good,” you replied. “How the fuck are you so good at this?” It was ridiculous, unfair. Most dudes who’d tried had lamely poked at you until you’d given up trying to show them and just moaned loudly, leaving them to grin smugly, convinced they’d made you cum. Cas, however, was well on his way to conjuring the real thing. 
He looked away for a moment, a small satisfied smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Good, you thought. He should be satisfied, he was fucking phenomenal. “I’m not sure,” he said. 
It was your turn to smile. “Well you are,” you said simply. Then he moved his hand again and all you could think was fuck, because he really was incredible. He was kissing your neck, sucking at the spot where it met your shoulder, his other hand resting on your hip as you rocked against him, his own soft moans mixing with yours.
And God, you wanted him to fuck you. 
“Hold on,” you panted. Much as his fingers were doing it for you, you couldn’t fight the shiver the thought of his cock buried inside you sent down your spine. 
Cas froze immediately. 
“No, no, it’s ok,” you assured him quickly. “I wanna try something else.” 
“Is this not–” 
“You’re doing great,” you interrupted. “I promise. But…” As before, you slid your hand gently down to palm at the already half-formed erection sitting between his legs. 
Cas frowned.
“Would you like to fuck me?” you asked tentatively. You hated how unsure you sounded, how small. 
His eyebrows shot halfway up his face. 
“Only if you want to,” you added quickly. But from the way his dick had visibly hardened at your words, you guessed he probably did. So, you continued, “I’d like it if you did.” 
Again, his tongue darted out over his lips. His voice was husky when he spoke. “I’d like it too.” 
“Ok, what are we waiting for?” You smiled, shuffling backwards and easing yourself back on the bed. When you saw that Cas wasn’t following, you reached over and took his hand, dragging him down on top of you. “Come on,” you encouraged. 
He gave a little “oof” as he crashed against you, quickly propping himself up above you. It looked uncomfortable. 
“Relax,” you said, wriggling into the mattress and running your hands over his arms and shoulders. “It’s alright.” 
“I don’t want to squash you.” 
You smiled, pulling at him to come closer. “You won’t, don’t worry.” 
“How do you know?” 
“I just do. Besides, I wouldn’t mind.” 
He snorted indignantly. “I would. Then whose lemonade would I steal?” 
You laughed at that. Castiel, former divine soldier of God, joking about stealing your lemonade while he was about to fuck you. If you’d gone back and told yourself from a year ago, she’d have slapped you in the loony bin. “You could just order your own,” you pointed out. 
“I could,” he conceded. “But I will not.” 
“Ok, I don’t mind.” You stretched up, capturing his lips with your own and drawing him down towards you. What you’d said was true, he really didn’t need to worry about squashing you. You liked the warm weight of him, the firmness and certainty that his body pressed against yours brought, his arms caging you to the bed. 
You smiled as his tongue slid along your bottom lip, opening your mouth almost immediately. Yeah, he knew what he was doing now. You hooked your leg over his, pulling his hips hard against your own. You were still tingling, still electrified with want and need from having deprived yourself of his fingers just minutes before, and almost without your conscious awareness you ground against him.
You swallowed the little moan that slipped from his mouth, rubbing your wetness over his hard cock. 
“(Y/N),” he gasped, breaking the kiss, his hips moving in time with yours. 
“Cas,” you echoed, equally as breathless. “Please?” 
He swallowed, his eyes dark. 
“I want you inside me,” you continued. “Please, Cas, I need you inside me. Now.” 
He cursed softly, so softly the only thing you caught was the tone. You wondered what angels cursed by. Not God, surely. But it didn’t matter, because he was taking himself in hand and lining up at your entrance, looking at you for permission. “Here?” he asked. 
You nodded. “Yeah, go ahead.” 
Gently, so gently, he pushed inside you. You gave a little whimper that might have been embarrassing in any other situation at the stretch, the delicious feeling of being filled up completely by him. Cas, on the other hand, didn’t make a sound. He wasn’t even breathing, just staring at the place where your body swallowed his, his eyes wide. 
“Hey,” you said softly, smiling at him when his eyes met yours. “You alright down there?” 
“Yes,” he whispered, running a hand reverently over your stomach. His fingers brushed over your scars, some silver, some a newer pale pink. Your earlier doubts fluttered to the front of your mind, but you determinedly pushed them away. Now was not the time. 
“You can move,” you told him, rocking your hips gently against his by way of demonstration. Then, “Please?” 
He nodded, one hand resting on your hip as he pulled out a little, sliding smoothly back in. He hummed quietly, did it again, then again and again and again, finding his rhythm. It was good, it was as gentle as everything else, firm enough to pull at that special place deep in your belly, steady and decisive. Most of all, it was Cas. Cas fucking you, Cas’s cock sending spasms of heat through your body, Cas’s hand steadying himself and you, Cas’s lovely gravelly voice mumuring your name. 
He leant further over you, bending his head to place a wet, open-mouthed kiss to the cut-free side of your collar bone, following it with another, more forceful one, then more until you were sure you looked like someone had spilt wine over your chest. You supposed it was only fair, given how many love bites you’d showered him with.  
“Shit, Cas,” you whispered, your hand coming up to run over the back of his head, fingers carding through his mussed-up hair. You’d always wanted to fix it, stroke it down, maybe make it worse. When you’d first met him you’d gone so far as to tell him to his face that it was “un-angelic”. He’d been amused by that. 
Now, he groaned against your skin. You smiled to yourself, stroking his scalp again and coaxing another wonderful little moan. You curled your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, lifting your hips off the mattress in time with his thrusts. His breath fanned over your neck, the muscles of his arm taut. 
“I’m so close,” you whispered, and you were. The tightness was building in your stomach, coiling and swirling into a dense knot of pleasure. Every movement Cas made had his pelvis hitting your clit, the bedhead hitting the wall behind it – you briefly felt bad for the next room’s residents – and Cas’s cock hitting deep inside you. The only sounds were the squeaking of the mattress – again, you felt bad – and the wet slap of skin on skin, peppered with your combined moans and sighs. 
“Fuck, Cas,” you gasped, your voice rising in pitch as you spiralled closer, closer… “Oh, shit, fuck, oh my God, Cas, Cas, I’m gonna cum, holy shit I’m gonna– Castiel!” 
You let go, your eyes screwed tightly shut, spine arching off the bed as the bomb inside you exploded. Sparks fizzed through your veins, every muscle in your body clenching as stars speckled your vision and you cried Cas’s name over and over like some kind of mantra. 
He hadn’t stopped, in fact he’d sped up, and when your mind finally crashed back into your body his hips were stuttering, his face buried in your neck. He spilled inside you, hot and thick as it had been in your mouth, a deep groan thrumming through you from where his lips still rested on your chest. He stilled after a moment, still holding most of his weight off you despite your arms wrapped around his back, whispering your name like it was a prayer. 
You wriggled sideways, smiling as he went limp and flopped down beside you. Well, sort of beside you. His head and the better part of his shoulders still rested over your chest, his lips ghosting over you in feather light kisses, his hand running up and down your arm. 
“We should get cleaned up,” you whispered after a moment. 
“Hm?” 
“Clean up,” you repeated. “We’re all sticky.” 
“Oh,” was all he said. Then, “alright then.” 
You extricated yourself, squeezing his shoulder gently as you rose and headed for the bathroom. You debated pulling him into the shower with you, but as your eyes settled on the folded washcloth by the sink you scrapped that idea. This would be quicker and easier, and you were tired, dammit. There’d be other opportunities — at least you hoped there would be. 
You wiped yourself down, turning to find Cas standing in the doorway. The flickering yellow neon strip of illumination above the mirror cast weird shadows over his body, still shining with exertion. Beautiful, even with the medley of hickeys on his neck and the mess of his and your cum around his crotch. 
You beckoned him closer, spongeing away the sweat and other spunk coating his skin. Occasionally you’d look up, without fail meeting his eyes. The usual interest had been replaced with something more; something whole and warm and just for you. The thought made your heart skip a beat. 
When you were finished, you stretched up and kissed him again, just once. Then you took his hand, heading back towards the bed. 
He hesitated, and you turned. He was looking at the couch, indecision marring his face. 
“What’s wrong?” you asked. 
“I assumed you’d want the bed to yourself,” he shrugged. “You usually don’t share”
Oh, ok. “Usually, yeah,” you replied, as casually as you could. “But I wanna share with you.” You looked down at your still joined hands, pulling gently. “Stay?” 
After a moment, he nodded. 
It took longer than it should have to sort out the stupidly layered sheets and blankets, but finally you were both finished wriggling and shifting around, comfortably facing each other. You smiled at him, taking his hand again. 
“I wondered what it would feel like to lie beside you, while you slept. You looked so… at peace.” He leaned forward the few inches between you, his lips cool against your forehead. “Beautiful.” 
Your voice was quieter than you’d meant it to be, and breathier. “You watch me sleep?” 
“It’s hard not to.” It may have been your imagination, but he sounded a little guilty. 
You laughed, leaning forward to whisper, “That’s a little creepy, Cas.” 
“Should I not have?”
“I don’t mind,” you said after a pause, “but maybe try not to mention things like that. Most people would find it weird.” 
“You don’t?”
You shook your head. “Not when it’s you.” The hand that had been holding his was free now, sliding up to cup his face almost of its own volition. You pressed your lips to his, softly and slowly, sweet as syrup. You shifted closer still, draping your arm over him. 
“Because I’m important to you, too?” he asked when you drew back. His eyes searched yours in the dimness, sincere and open. God, he was just… so much. 
You smiled. “Yeah, Cas, you sure are.”
You woke to a hand running over your shoulder, the rise and fall of a chest beneath your cheek and the steady beating of a heart. Cas’s heart, Cas’s chest, Cas’s hand.
“Hi,” you whispered, sitting up. His hand ceased its movements, his lips curling into a gentle smile. 
“Hello.” 
You dipped down, kissing him softly, your finger tracing the outline of his lips when you drew away. “Sleep well?”
He sighed deeply, staring at the ceiling for a moment before his gaze found yours again. “Better than I ever have before. Thank you, (Y/N).” 
“That’s alright.” You looked away, heat rushing to your face. “It was my pleasure.”
“I can see why you – humans – like it so much.” 
You raised an eyebrow. “Hm?” 
“Sex,” he explained. “I think I get it now.” 
“Oh,” you laughed. “Well, that was pretty good sex. For someone who’s never done it before, you were amazing.” 
“Really?” He leaned back, surveying your face carefully. 
You nodded. “And anyway,” you went on, “it usually feels better when it’s someone who’s…” 
He waited, watching you stumble over your words. 
“You know…” You paused, swallowing, half wishing you’d just left it at telling him he was good. “Someone who’s special to you,” you finished lamely. 
“Well,” he said after a moment, “then I’m glad it was you.” 
You didn’t really know how to respond to that, so you just smiled and kissed him again. It was slow and lazy, his bare chest silken under your own, nothing but the soft rush of breath and tiny hum he gave, the rustle of the sheets, the ticking of the motel room clock. Then your phone rang. 
“Fucking hell,” you muttered as you broke away, giving Cas a final apologetic peck before making your way to the table where you’d dumped it. Sam’s name flashed on the screen. 
“What do you want?” you growled. 
“Breakfast,” he answered. “What’s up your ass?” 
“I was sleeping” you answered smoothly, then, “I don’t like being woken up.” 
He snorted. “Yeah, alright. Meet us outside in, say, twenty minutes?” 
You glanced at Cas, who was now sitting up and, you guessed it, watching you. You squished the phone to your chest. “Breakfast in twenty?” you asked. 
He nodded, already swinging his legs over the side of the bed. You couldn’t help staring just a little as he went about getting dressed, drinking in every rapidly disappearing inch of skin like some kind of sexually repressed Victorian maiden. 
“Sure,” you said to Sam, then hung up. The problem that you hadn’t thought through last night was the hickeys. You had a scarf, you could button your shirt over your chest, and thankfully Cas had shown more restraint than you had. The most problematic mark sat right in the hollow under his jaw, two love bites blending together. It wasn’t even hickey-shaped, really, but you didn’t think that’d fool Dean and Sam. 
“What’s wrong?” Cas asked, fastening the final button on his shirt. 
“Nothing,” you sighed. “But Dean’s gonna give us endless – and I mean endless – shit.” 
“You’ve killed demons, (Y/N),” he smiled. “And you still can’t deal with Dean’s endless shit?”  
“Oi! I can, I just don’t want to.” You crossed the room, poking him square in the chest. “And you’re gonna be dealing with it too, so don’t get cocky.” 
“We’ll deal with it together.” It was tentative, almost a question. 
You smiled, taking his hands. “Castiel and (Y/N) vs Dean Winchester’s endless shit. I can work with that.”
Things were a little strange over breakfast. Sam and Dean kept glancing at each other, having their annoying silent conversations that consisted of raised eyebrows and side-eyes, the occasional jerk of the head or twist of the mouth. Self consciously, you re-adjusted your scarf, pointedly not meeting anyeone’s eyes. You’d almost made the call not to sit next to Cas, but then he’d looked up at you from his spot by the window and you didn’t stand a chance. You were grateful for your decision when the food came, it made sharing with him a lot easier. 
“Dude,” Sam said suddenly, twisting to face his brother and nearly taking out his glass of water. The eyebrow raising and eye-widening had gotten more intense in the last minute, and clearly they’d hit a boiling point. 
“It’s not a hickey!” Dean protested. “It’s not even hickey-shaped!” 
You froze, fork halfway to your mouth. 
“What?” Cas voiced your thoughts, frowning over the cup of coffee he was nursing. 
Sam sighed. “Cas, look out the window for a second.” 
“Hey–” you started, but you were too late. Both Sam and Dean’s eyebrows shot halfway up their foreheads, and Cas was dutifully peering through the glass. Why did he choose now of all times to listen to Sam? 
“That’s a hickey,” the younger man was claiming triumphantly, nodding to the stain on Cas’s neck. 
Dean whistled softly. “That’s two hickeys. It’s like… a Siamese hickey.” 
“Gross, Dean,” you muttered, ignoring the heat in your cheeks. 
He shrugged. “It’s a beautiful, natural act, (Y/N), lighten up. Congratulations, Cas. Who’s the lucky girl?” 
Sam made a noise like he was choking. You studied your hands on the table in front of you. Dean grinned. Cas didn’t say anything. 
“Was it that waitress?” Dean asked, leaning forwards. “She was cute, man, I’d have tapped that.” 
“No, it wasn’t the waitress.” 
Dean frowned, then his eyes widened. “The hotel receptionist?” he whispered. “Dude, she was a milf. Nice one.” 
“Dean…” Sam started, looking between you and Cas. You glared. 
“What? He deserves a pat on the back. I gotta say, I wasn’t sure if you had it in you.” 
Sam sighed. “I don’t think it was the hotel receptionist.” 
“No? Who else?” 
Again, he glanced at you. You hadn’t moved, stiff as a statue and bracing for impact. You were so close to just spitting it out right there, biting the bullet and getting it over with. But you hadn’t discussed that with Cas, and you couldn’t exactly do so now. 
Dean was looking expectantly at Sam, who was shaking his head in disbelief. You couldn’t blame him. Then, as if in slow motion, Dean’s face fell and realisation dawned in his eyes.  
“No,” he said softly. “No, you didn’t.” 
It was your turn to shrug. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t get a little bit of a kick out of Dean’s absolutely horrified expression. Endless shit that was about to rain down on you and all. 
“You slept together? You,” he looked at you, “and you?” He looked at Cas. 
“Yes,” the former angel said stiffly. “It was nicer than the couch.” 
“No, I mean–” 
You raised a hand, stopping him. “Yes, Dean,” you sighed. “Just… get it out now.” 
“Aw, man.” He groaned, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “That was you guys?” 
“I told you,” Sam shrugged, looking all too smug. 
Cas frowned. “Told him what?” 
“We could hear you,” Dean muttered, his cheeks going a deep red. “I didn’t think we were sharing a wall, Sam did. Drew me a diagram of the motel layout and everything. I didn’t wanna believe it, I didn’t wanna know that… Aw, man!” 
Sam’s smile widened, and he extended a hand across the table. “Pay up.” 
“Pay up?” You glared at him, incredulous. “What the fuck do you mean, pay up?” 
“I mean he owes me fifty. Thanks for that, by the way.” With this, he nodded to Cas. 
You gaped. “Please don’t tell me you bet on me and Cas sleeping together. And please don’t tell me you bet for it.” 
“What can I say? I knew it’d happen eventually, the way you drool over each other. Not my fault Dean actually took me up on it.” 
You groaned, twisting to bury your face in Cas’s trench coat. Absently, he patted your hair. “Why can’t you guys just be normal about one single thing?” you lamented. “Who the hell bets on their friends sleeping together?” 
“Actually,” Dean said through a mouthful of bacon, “it’s a very normal thing to do.” 
“Mhm, back at Stanford–” 
“Back at Stanford,” you mimicked, cutting him off. “I can’t believe you two.” 
Dean held his hands up as if surrendering. “Hey, sorry, but I didn’t think either of you would have the balls to ever make a move. And it was fifty dollars, don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t take that.” 
“I can’t believe I’m gonna have to sit in the car all day with you.” 
“Me too,” Cas added solemnly. 
You sighed, taking his hand under the table and laying it between you, squeezing in full view of Sam and Dean. Cas squeezed back. 
“You’re not allowed to… do anything in the back of my car.” Dean said after a moment. “Especially not with me or Sam there too.” 
Defiantly, you shifted closer to Cas, fingers still entwined with his, firmly meeting Dean’s eyes. “Don’t bet on it.”
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kithtaehyung · 1 year
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seven days (m) (teaser) | jjk
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POSTED HERE JULY 22ND, 2023!!  upcoming series: seven days (m)  pairing: fuckboy!jungkook x reader(f) genre/rating: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; roommates to lovers au  summary: you dump yet another guy that wasn’t up to your “ten day standards,” which leaves your cocky ass, very off-limits roommate to tease your single status yet again. but the teasing is always expected. what’s not expected, is the bet that you make without thinking. the bet that even though you give ten days, he wouldn’t even last seven. warnings: cursing, alcohol/vape mentions, parties, he wears glasses sometimes😔👍, chains bc it’s tradition atp lmaooo, cocky!jk, feelings🤕, big big big jk, flirty!jk, baddie!reader😌, multiple explicit scenes🫠, jk constantly in grey sweatpants and nothing else :))), full lists to be revealed each chapter! notes: …so this song called seven dropped and— notes 2: but really there was a fic that had been in the wips for a minute, and i just so happened to have a burst of energy to expand on it so here we are! making it a series to allow myself time to dedicate meaningful energy to each scene and not rush them💕 est. chapters: prologue | mon | tue | wed | thurs | fri | sat | sun | seven days est. running dates: july-september 2023 taglist: sign up here (i check every entry so read the rules!) teaser: below the cut if you want a taste 🩵
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“Sure did,” Jungkook puffs before stepping away, taking all the tight space with him and letting you breathe again. “But all I’m saying is, you gotta lower your standards or—” 
“No.”
“Or,” he continues, giving you a look, “Not complain if they’re too high.” 
“Well, thank you.” With your nose grazing the sky, you point out, “I’d like to think they’re just right.” 
“What even are they anyway? All you’ve said is something about ten days.”
“That’s basically it,” you murmur, resting your arms on the island as to not have your chest in full view. “If I still like someone after ten days, I know I’d be fine dating them for real.” 
There’s silence when you finish. When you finally look, the gawk you’re getting in return almost makes you laugh. “What?”
“You mean those days are only a trial run?” 
You do break into laughter this time, burying your face in slight shyness. “And what about it!” 
“Are you serious—?” Jungkook rounds the island so that he can speak directly at your hidden features. “Has anyone even gotten past all ten with you?”
You pause, breath fanning the granite top beneath you and wisping around your face. When you lift your gaze above your arms, you keep it trained on the countertop instead of his curiosity, 
“No.” 
He doesn’t say a word. 
“Not since my standards changed.” 
And you think that’s the end of this conversation. Because what else is there to say? You know your expectations are impossible but you think this is a hell of a lot better than—
“I could do it.” 
“What.” A glare is shot. “Absolutely not.” 
“Why not?”
“You? No.” You shake your head. “You wouldn’t even last seven.” 
“Try me,” he challenges, and you still can’t take him seriously despite the fire in his eyes. “I’ve lasted a lot more than that as your roommate, right?” 
“But that’s—this is—this is different! Be for real, Kook.” You vacate the island and head to your room, having enough of his teasing for one morning. 
But you get stopped at the doorway, a bare chest and chains blocking your vision and sending your mind into a frenzy. When you flick your gaze to his face, he simply says, with the straightest expression,
“I am.”
--
--
--
tbc. :))
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🦋 soooo how do we feel !! | wanna be tagged? 🩵
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a/n: yeah idk what happened to me. one moment i was saying i wasn't gonna get bitten by the seven bug, and the next.. well. this happened lol. anyway! taglist is on a form so that i can easily keep track of who to tag. pls make sure to either tell me ur age in the survey or to have it on your blog bc i check all entries when tagging. prologue is already written and will be up soon! ++ ⇥ masterlist
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guiltyasdave · 3 months
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sweet nothing
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pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader
word count: exactly 700 words hehe
summary: An interesting man keeps coming back to the museum you work at.
tags/warnings: able-bodied reader, no use of y/n, angst all over the place babeeeeeyyyyy
a/n: my entry for @iamasaddie's zodiac sign au writing challenge. i got javi and a museum au and this is what i came up with. thank you for always hosting these challenges aly <3
once again thank you @sizzlingcloudmentality for pushing me to even participate and for letting me ramble about this <3 you’re an amazing friend!
dividers by @saradika-graphics <3
find my full masterlist here and follow @guiltyasdavenotifs to get notified when i post a new fic :)
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You had noticed him the first time he came in. A little lost, a little out of place, not the kind of visitor that usually frequented your workplace in the middle of a weekday. 
It was a time that was usually reserved for the odd tourist couple, sometimes families, wandering the mostly empty halls, occasionally halting their steps to take a closer look at one of the historic paintings or sculptures. You preferred it to the weekend rush, liked to breathe in the cool air and relish in the quiet, peaceful atmosphere. 
He had wandered for a bit too, before seating himself on one of the benches in the middle of the room, eyes trained on the large painting on the wall in front of him. Your gaze had followed him, as was your job. Not a sign of your interest in this visitor in particular, you told yourself. 
When he came back two days later, it wasn’t a big deal. You hadn’t thought about him, hadn’t imagined running into him on the street, hadn’t wished to get a closer look at his face, weirdly intrigued, an almost magnetic pull to that man that you had seen for all of thirty minutes. 
Then he kept coming back. Always in the middle of the day, never sitting in the same spot, never staying longer than an hour.
Eventually, after weeks of your eyes trailing his movements, you decided to take the leap. 
“You must really like this type of art,” you say quietly, sitting down next to him, hoping that he’ll catch the joking undertone in your voice. 
His responding chuckle, a rich, deep sound from his throat, has a pleasant shiver running through you. 
“You want to know the truth?” 
You hum, not wanting to appear overly eager, but the entirety of your attention focused on him. 
“I just— It’s not really about the art. I just like coming here during my lunch break. My type of work is very… demanding.” He clears his throat, his voice stumbling over the word. “Coming here makes me feel further away from it. It’s—” He hesitates for a second, searching for the right expression.
“Quiet,” you finish for him. 
He nods, a small smile playing on his lips. You’re mesmerized, so close to him now, finally able to take in his deep brown eyes, to let your gaze linger on his plush lips for just a second. Just long enough that you’ll be able to remember. 
He heaves a sigh, standing up. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. Sorry.” One hand rubs over his face.
“No, don’t be. It was nice meeting you—?” 
“Javier,” he says. 
You provide your own name in return, smiling, trying to not think about how warm his hand is, how it’s dwarfing yours as he shakes it. 
You don’t always talk to him after that, not wanting to disturb the quiet and peacefulness that he’s seeking here. But you keep looking at him, keep thinking about him. Keep wishing for more, but are too shy to pursue it. 
He nods and smiles at you every time though, and it’s the highlight of your day every time. Sometimes he comes to you, chats with you. You start to notice the subtle differences in his demeanor, how when his shoulders seem particularly tense, he likes to keep to himself, how the smile he gives you then doesn’t reach his eyes. 
When two weeks pass by without a sign of him, you try your hardest not to worry. Maybe he had to travel somewhere for his work. Maybe he’s on vacation. Surely he’s fine. 
However, you promise yourself, that if— when he comes back, you’re gonna have to be braver. Ask for what you want. Ask to meet him, outside of these halls. 
He does come back. Looking tired, circles under his eyes and shoulders slumped like he’s carrying an enormous weight on them. Still, you ask him. Certain that if you don’t do it now, you never will.
His lips curl up in a weak smile, remorse painting his gaze. You know at this moment that you’re not gonna see him again.
“You don’t want that, sweetheart.”
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thank you for reading! please consider leaving a comment or reblogging if you enjoyed this :)
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Studious IV (Aemond Targaryen x Reader) 18+
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You continue reading Aemond's diary. As his true feelings for you become ever more clear, can you decipher your own feelings for him?
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (second person, no use of Y/N)
Warnings: Aemond in his smut writer era (semi-public sex, p in v sex, tiddy suckin', riding, fingering, oral sex f receiving, bad sex)
Author's Note: So sorry for the delay! But this baby is 11K words, so hopefully that makes up for it! Also, I tried for a long time to format this like the others, but tumblr wouldn't let me post it if I did, so the formatting is a little different here.
Read Part I Here - Read Part II Here - Read Part III Here
My Masterlist
Taglist will be done via reblogs (there are simply too many of you to fit here)
Studious IV
You were never setting foot in the library again.
Not after what you just read. Not when you were sure that the mere memory of it would have you bursting into flames the moment you crossed the threshold.
Good gods, only a few entries ago, Aemond could hardly bring himself to write the word ‘cunt,’ and now this? What in the Seven Hells were his advisors – Grand Maester Orwyle, Lord Jasper Wylde, and Prince Aegon – teaching him?
You weren’t sure whether the odd feeling in your stomach was due to how much you ate – an entire meat pie and five tea cakes, all washed down with a pot and a half of raspberry tea – or what you had just read.
Either way, it was not enough to stop you from glancing about your bedchamber to ensure no one was watching you and then rereading the entry from the beginning.
The 16th day in the 5th moon of the year.
I have just returned from the library. Grand Maester Orwyle suggested that I consult a book on anatomy. Since there was no business of court I was required to attend today, I asked one of the librarians to help me retrieve the title after I finished my training.
I also found a few books Aegon recommended, only after I dismissed the librarian – I did not want him to know that I took those. Or that I even knew what they were. Gossip abounds in the capital, and I do not wish to be the subject of more than I already am.
By the titles alone, I am surprised Mother allows them to remain in the Keep. I likely will not read most of them. Aegon has already traumatised me quite thoroughly. I see no reason to allow him to ruin reading for me, as well. Although one title, ‘A Caution for Young Girls,’ seems innocent enough.
But the books are not why I am writing now, when my usual routine is to write immediately before I retire to bed. I just… I need to commit this to paper before it leaves me entirely.
On my way out of the library, I saw her. My wife – if I die tomorrow or in a hundred years, I shall never tire of calling her that.
She has quickly found the more private areas of the library, it seems. I would never have seen her if I had not been considering going there to read myself.
It must mean something that she did not choose just any of the countless hidden places within the maze of the library, but my favourite – a secluded alcove along the western wall. An indicator of our compatibility, perhaps. Or even a sign from the gods?
Had the books I’d been carrying not been so… unsuitable, I would have asked to join her.
No, I wouldn’t have. That would require far more courage than I can summon when I see her.
I just stared at her, watching her face as she read. From where I stood, I could not see what she was reading. But I could see her, and that was enough.
She is so expressive! I saw her both smile and frown in quick succession, and once, her entire face scrunched in displeasure as if she had just taken a bite of lemon! Gods, how can even such an unpleasant expression be so beautiful?
Perhaps I should not have watched her at all, for the longer I stood there, the further my mind drifted. And then, I heard Aegon’s voice, as clearly as if he were standing beside me.
‘Don’t limit yourself to the bedchamber brother, or even the bed! A wall or a table serves just as well. And there is a certain thrill to knowing you could be discovered…’
Damn him. Why did I ever ask for his assistance? I would have been better off enlisting the help of an actual whore! At least then, the vulgarity would not come from the future King. Damn him to the deepest of the Seven Hells.
But that stupid advice echoed in my mind over and over. And against my will and better judgement, an image began to form. A dream – a waking dream.
Though my feet remained planted on the floor, I imagined setting aside my books and joining her in that alcove. She would look up and smile upon hearing my approach, perhaps even giggle at my attempt at stealth.
I would sit beside her and ask what she was reading. I might even ask her to read to me. But I would not let her read for long.
I would kiss her while she read. Not on her lips but all over her perfect face. Her cheeks, her forehead, on the tip of her nose. All just to distract her, to make her laugh. Only when she made so much noise that I feared discovery would I kiss her lips to quiet her and finally claim my prize.
The kiss would not be like in the Sept, or in her chambers that night. Instead, she would kiss me back and open herself to me. I would kiss her, and kiss her, and kiss her. Until we were both out of breath but still wanting more.
Seeing her like that, with her lips swollen and cheeks flushed… I would not be able to wait until we returned to our chambers. I would lift her onto that very table, books be damned.
Like our wedding night, we would not undress. We would be in too much of a hurry.
But even hurried, I would be gentle. I would take the time to prepare her, as Lord Wylde said I must do every time. Doing so makes the experience more pleasurable for the woman, he says. And Orwyle added that her enjoyment makes it more likely that the coupling will be fruitful.
Gods, I hardly care about that anymore. Of course, I want an heir, or several. But I want her more. I want her to feel as much pleasure as I do. To ‘peak,’ as Wylde and Orwyle put it. Aegon uses other words, but I find them too vulgar.
And in the library, making an heir would be the last thing on my mind. Even finding my own pleasure would be secondary. I would use my fingers to prepare her – perhaps get her to peak once before I even enter her?
Aegon says women can find release much more than men can. According to him, he once made a woman peak ten times in one night. I would be more amenable to believing him if he didn’t also claim he did so five times. But maybe he is right about ‘practising’ increasing stamina. Though he has had years of practice, and I have had only two days…
But in the dream world where I have the courage to approach her at all, and the gall to bed her in the library of all places (can you call it ‘bedding’ if it is not done in an actual bed?), I also have that stamina. And the skill to indeed make her peak with just my fingers.
I do not know what sounds she would make, as she was entirely silent on our wedding night, but I would want her to make them. I would want her to make such noise that I would have no choice but to kiss her to quiet her and keep her from drawing the attention of the rest of the library.
Even when I was buried within her, I would kiss her. With one arm wrapped around her hips to hold her steady as I fucked her so hard the table would shake, and the other hand tangled in her hair so I could kiss her just as hard.
I want to kiss her so badly. When I finally go to her again, that is what I will do first.
Once we had both finished – for I would ensure she peaked again with me inside her – I would kiss her more, softly, until our breathing steadied. Then, we would simply take our seats again, and this time, I would read to her.
By all the Seven, what has become of me? To not only have such thoughts but to revel in them as I do?
You didn’t bother reading the rest of the entry again before clutching the diary to your chest and staring at the bed canopy above you as a thousand questions burned through your mind and set your heart racing.
Had he been thinking about that the day he came to you in the library?
Was it what he intended to do, had you not reacted so poorly to his words?
Were you really wishing that he had?
You turned on your side, cradling his diary as you once did a small stuffed pony, and noticed for the first time that night had fallen – you had spent nearly the entire day reading. For a moment, you considered running to Aemond’s chambers. But when you looked back at the journal, there were still more than a dozen ribbons shut in its pages.
And if you went to him just after reading what you did…
Whatever was becoming of Aemond, no doubt thanks to the men he had asked for help in better bedding you, by reading his diary and the most private thoughts and fantasies contained within, it was becoming of you too. For when your eyes drifted closed, Aemond’s dream of the library became your dream as well.
-
The next several days of entries were almost identical.
Aemond woke at dawn after a night of dreams filled with you. They were not always of a carnal nature. Sometimes he dreamed simply of holding or kissing you. Once, he dreamed about flying with you atop his dragon. You didn’t know whether the prospect was thrilling or terrifying. Perhaps both.
Each day, he broke his fast, trained, then ate a small meal before joining court.
Before joining you.
When he wrote in the diary after dinner and several hours of studying and ‘practising’ (you still could not determine what that meant), he still remembered every little thing you did. You had never spoken at court – it was not your place to. But he had catalogued your every movement and reaction to the business of the realm. Every raise of your brows, every repressed smile, and every curious tilt of your head.
You thought you were quite proficient at maintaining a regal mask of indifference. Your mother had you practice it on the journey to King’s Landing while she commanded your brothers to shout at you the most outrageous things they could think of (much of which she promptly scolded them for when they were done).
But Aemond saw through the mask. Not only that, but he correctly interpreted every movement you made.
He knew that the twitch of your lip when Lord Bolton made a petition was a sign of your marked distaste for the man. He knew the scrunch of your brow upon the reading of a missive from a Pentosi diplomat was you noticing a contradiction from the previous message and realising the diplomat was lying. And he knew that you stiffened every time he looked at you because you were nervous about what he would say or do.
Aemond knew you. Even then.
And yet you had so dreadfully misunderstood him.
The shame of it was enough to make you set down the diary and call for a bath – a private bath, without any of your maids present even in the adjourning rooms. You gave an excuse that you were exhausted and simply wished to remain alone.
But really?
As part of his study of the anatomy book Orwyle recommended, Aemond had drawn a diagram of what lay between a woman’s legs. And annotated it based on the advice of Lord Wylde and Prince Aegon.
You were curious to see – with the aid of a hand mirror – just how accurate the diagram and annotations were.
-
You awoke the following morning feeling more refreshed than you had since you came to the palace, from both the welcome break in your courtly duties and the exploration you had conducted in the privacy of your bath. Though you were fairly sure you did not reach a ‘peak,’ as Aemond described it, you felt close to the height of something several times. But each time, you panicked at the intensity of the racing feelings within you and withdrew your hand. Still, those few minutes of pleasure were incredibly relaxing.
And as it was Aemond’s notes that allowed you to discover the feeling that your own clumsy attempts had failed to bring, the prospect that you would – eventually – once more join him in his bed became thrilling beyond reason.
In truth, the only thing that stopped you from rushing across the castle the very moment you emerged from the bath was the unfortunate fact that you were still bleeding, though it was light.
More than that, while your body was more than ready to forgive Aemond, your heart and mind were still hesitant. He had hurt you. He made you cry. Reading his diary helped you understand that it had never been intentional. However, you still needed to understand everything before making a final decision on whether to forgive him and if you could, as Aemond hoped in his note, ‘learn to like’ or even to love him.
So, after breaking your fast, you again settled into the couch and turned to the next green ribbon.
The 23rd day in the 5th moon of the year
Were Aegon not my brother and the heir, I would throw him from the top of the Rookery.
‘A Caution for Young Girls’ is no such thing. It is little more than a manual in promiscuity and sin!
But… damn him. It is quite educational.
Unlike the book Grand Maester Orwyle suggested, it is not focused on the science of anatomy or conception. Rather, it is entirely concerned with the pleasure of women. After all, it is the supposedly true story of a woman’s quest for pleasure.
A Wylde woman, if it is to be believed. I may have to ask Lord Jasper about it. Is this why he’s had such success with his own wives?
But that, and indeed the sinful nature of the book itself, is unimportant. What is important is that it may actually be the key to my learning how to pleasure my wife.
It spoke at length of various methods of using one’s fingers. Crooking the fingers while within seems to be crucial, as is locating a ‘sweet spot’ where her walls feel slightly different. That spot, as well as the ‘pearl’ which lays at the top of her sex, is the epicentre of her pleasure.
And, like the others said, preparation is required. This is where the use of the fingers comes into it – as well as various other methods. For example, the book mentions kissing quite often, and not only on the lips. Or the cheeks. Or even anywhere on the face.
I admit the idea, though it is new to me, is quite appealing. The book mentioned several places where women most like to be kissed. The jaw, the throat, behind the ear, the nape of the neck, the collarbone…
There was a spot of ink, as though Aemond’s pen had been resting on the page without moving for a long moment.
…the breasts, and lower.
I do not understand why. Perhaps it is because of Aegon’s incessant comments about the breasts of every woman in the Keep, save our mother and his wife – would that he would also exclude my wife! – but I find myself thinking about her breasts with startling frequency. I did not get to see them on our wedding night after I foolishly forgot to undress her.
There is a story in the book which… well, I find myself wanting to replicate. One which would provide me ample access to her breasts. But more than that, it carries an intimacy which I crave most of all.
When Lady Coryanne was serving as a handmaid to a warlock in Qarth, she often found herself called to help him ‘relax’ after a long day. On such occasions, she would mount him while he sat at his desk and ‘ride’ him while he buried his face in her breasts.
I… it was easy to imagine my wife and me in a similar, though more loving, position. Likely not at my desk, as I don’t actually use it often. But perhaps, here. On my chair by the hearth, where I read my books and write in this diary before bed.
She would come back – for she would be living here, with me, not across the Holdfast and so far away – after a long day. Maybe she would have been in the gardens, or with Mother, Helaena and the children, or in the library for hours. I would have been stuck away from her all day in meetings, court, or training.
Even apart from her for only a day, I would miss her terribly. As I do every hour I do not see her. And she would miss me too.
When she came in, she would press herself against the door as she locked it, then turn to me with a mischievous grin. I would know what she wanted, but I would not play along. Instead, I’d mutter a greeting and turn back to my book, pretending that my blood was not racing at just the sight of her. For I want her blood to be as heated as mine.
You read the last paragraph again, the realisation finally set in that Aemond was about to narrate another of his fantasies. Fortunately, after his previous entry about the library, you decided to be more cautious and had already dismissed your servants until your afternoon meal. You had suspected that there may be more in the diary that was thoroughly unsuitable for prying eyes.
And, thanks to his diligent notetaking, you knew precisely what to do when the feelings such unsuitable words provoked began to burn through you.
You undoubtedly did not want an audience for that…
I would let her tease me, pretending none of it fazed me. When she brushed her fingers lightly across my shoulders, I would not flinch. When she leaned over me further than she would really need to see what I was reading, but wanting me to see that peek of her breasts nearly spilling out from her dress, I would barely look. And when she pressed a kiss, long and slow, to my neck – gods, would I like that too? – I might even pretend it was an inconvenience.
It would vex her that I did not give her the attention she desperately wanted. Not enough to truly anger her, but only enough to make her pout. So that when she took the book from my hands and dropped it to the floor, then sat atop me in the chair with her thighs straddling mine… I would simply have no choice but to grab her little lip as she stuck it out and push it back into place before kissing her.
I would kiss her in every place the book instructs, taking my time to worship every bit of her. I want to drive her as mad as she does me just by her mere existence.
But I know she would not simply let me tease her. She would return each kiss I gave her and more. Atop me, she would roll her hips slowly, purposefully, as if we were engaged in a dance. I would be able to feel her, hot and wet and as eager as me, but each time I rose to meet her, she would pull away.
Gods, am I really wishing for her to deny me? Perhaps practising as Aegon instructed has conditioned me to crave such delays to my satisfaction.
Either way, I think I would break before she did. She is strong-willed, and with as many brothers as she has, I believe she can be quite patient. So, I would beg. I would apologise for trying to tease her and plead for her forgiveness. And for her to…
She would, I hope, without hesitation. She would rise only long enough for her to remove her smallclothes and for me to do away with my trousers. Then, we would both sit again, together, with me gently guiding her down to mount me – Seven Hells, that makes it sound like I’m a horse.
I’ll be whatever she wants.
Again, and as always, I would give her a moment to adjust and make sure she is comfortable. Orwyle’s book said that with well-endowed partners – which, according to the measurements in the book, I am – women may always need that moment.
But I would be glad to give it to her. For it would allow me to unlace her bodice, and like the warlock from the book, I could bury my face in my beloved’s breasts.
I find it hard to imagine what it would be like, how they would feel. Soft, I think. Warm, as she is. And perhaps, if I pressed close enough, I could hear her heart beating.
When I was fully settled within her, would I hear it beat faster? Or would it slow with contentment, knowing she was safe and loved – oh so dearly loved – within my arms. Perhaps it would be like the stories, and I would hear it skip a beat.
Either way, I would be more than content to just sit there, breathe her in, and let her move at her own pace. We would not need to be fast, as we would in the library. In my own rooms – our rooms – there would be no need for hurry. We could just stay there, entwined, or we could move together.
I think I would prefer it slowly. Not even seeking our releases, really. Just… enjoying each other. Enjoying the connection of our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Knowing that we are one, that the gods have made us one, and that nothing can tear us apart.
Although… I do think her legs would get tired after a while. That is something I should perhaps be worried about. Especially if she did want to move, and fast. To seek release.
If she did, I would help her. The book did not detail how, as Lady Coryanne was a servant at the time, but… I could figure it out. I could move my hips up to meet hers, or even lift her on my own? I think doing so with my hands on her hips would give me the most leverage. Or perhaps her rear?
I am very drawn to the idea of holding her close as we reach our peaks. Of feeling her breath on my skin, being close enough to hear each little noise she makes, and the sensation of her gripping me as tight as she can as she comes. Even the thought of her nails digging into me brings a certain thrill. And if I don’t reach my peak with her – which, I think, is very unlikely – we can always continue. Or move somewhere more comfortable if her legs do get tired.
At this point, I think I am more than ready to practice. Of course, this wasn’t my intention when I started writing, but… yes, I am most definitely ready. And anything else I wanted to write about seems inconsequential now.
You dropped the diary onto your heaving chest, the image Aemond’s words had painted still burning in your mind. Seven Hells, you could practically feel his strong arms wrapped around you, holding you to his chest as you moved together, his breath hot against your neck as he whispered words of praise between desperate kisses.
With a hazy smile, you snuggled further into the couch and beneath your blanket. As exhilarating as the descriptions of his desires were, what truly warmed your heart was the way he wrote about you, the two of you together.
The connection of your souls as one? It was exactly what you’d dreamed of when first told of your betrothal. Aemond was what you dreamed of.
Why did he have to stop writing? What in the name of the Seven was he practising that was more important than that?
Frustrated and with your pleasure now truly over, you closed the diary and turned on your side, resigned to simply stewing in your own thoughts for the few hours left until your maids returned.
-
After a light, solitary afternoon meal, you again dismissed your maids. By this point, they were more than a little suspicious about the titleless book you were reading. But, you insisted that you simply wanted to be alone, for your moon’s blood still plagued you. It wasn’t entirely a lie. You did still have some cramping and a slight headache.
In truth, it was because you knew what would happen in just a few entries – your second night together.
It surely wouldn’t be as thrilling as some of his other fantasies. You knew that firsthand. But after learning what Aemond felt for you, you were desperate to know his side of that night.
So desperate, in fact, that you barely skimmed the following two entries in your haste to reach it. Both primarily had to do with whatever smut he had read in A Caution for Young Girls. The first was a rather exhaustive list of all the ways he wanted to kiss you – and there were far more ways than you were previously aware of.
The second caused your most intense blushing yet, for it was near treasonous! After reading another story of Coryanne Wylde ‘riding’ a man, he fantasised about you riding him while he sat on the Iron Throne. It was an intriguing idea, but it seemed a little too hazardous to tempt you.
Finally, you reached what you had been waiting for.
The 26th day in the 5th moon of the year.
I had hoped not to make an entry today – for I had every intention of spending tonight in my wife’s chambers. But she is there, and tragically, I am here.
Tonight was almost worse than our wedding night.
When I saw her watching me in the training yard today, I thought… she was almost smiling – at me! She had no obligation to be there, and yet she was! She sought me out! She wanted to see me!
I had to bite back a cry of joy and relief. I immediately abandoned the rest of my training, nearly impaling the poor squire with my sword for how hard I threw it at him, so I could rush to the ramparts and greet her.
But when I got there, she was gone. I asked a few of the other lords and ladies that were there, but no one knew where she went. Even after speaking to her, however briefly, I still do not understand why she left.
You felt your cheeks flush with shame. Aemond hadn’t grimaced at you that day – quite the opposite. He had been so excited to see you there, and as usual, you had misinterpreted his reaction.
Or, based on how frequently these misunderstandings occurred, perhaps his expressions were merely indecipherable to normal people. Or, more likely, maybe just to you.
You set his diary down, careful to use one of your discarded ribbons to mark your place, and picked up your own. By this point, you had filled several pages with your reactions to Aemond’s writing – some of it sincere, some bordering on humour.
Yet you had no words to express how sorry you were that you had so thoroughly misjudged him. So you wrote nothing and just kept reading.
When I went to her chambers to check on her, I encountered one of her maids, who told me she had retired early with a headache and would not be joining the family for dinner.
Perhaps I should have gone into her chambers then and asked what was wrong. I knew – or at least suspected – that the headache was a lie. An excuse to allow her privacy. I often do the same, citing my scar. Which, as I told her, is not always a lie.
But if I had gone to her, as I wished. I would not have known what to say. Ask her why she ran from the training yard without speaking to me? Or why she wanted to avoid me and the family? Tell her I’m sorry for the disappointment of our wedding night? Ask Beg for a second chance?
I could not do it. I was tired from training and admittedly still somewhat discombobulated from realising she had been watching me. Though I did make it to her door, I merely touched the handle for a moment before retiring to my own chambers.
Now, after yet another disastrous visit… I should have gone to her earlier. I should have trusted my instincts (as Aegon often encourages me to do) instead of allowing my mind to think itself into an inescapable hole.
As I bathed and redressed, and even while attending court and dinner, I could not stop thinking about her. Agonising over what I may have done to make her flee from me?
I never even considered that she may actually have a headache until I was again at her door after dinner. The fear that I was disturbing her, perhaps making her pain worse, was nearly enough to make me turn and flee.
But then, her voice came, soft and light and so enticing. Of course, I somehow managed to answer idiotically when she asked who it was. Though she lessened the sting of embarrassment with a small joke. She is so achingly clever!
I asked her how she was, and her answer made it evident that the headache was a ruse. I am trying not to be too proud that my deduction was correct. She is not used to lying, nor is she good at it. And it is yet another thing I admire about her.
For hours, I planned what I would say to her. It was eloquent and thoughtful – practically poetry.   
The tail of the last ‘y’ extended nearly an inch, and you imagined Aemond just staring at the page, consumed by his thoughts for a moment.
But her room looked different tonight. She finally unpacked.
There is a large tapestry above her hearth depicting her home keep, the field below filled with vibrant pink flowers with bright yellow centres. The same flowers appear nearly everywhere. On framed examples of embroidery, on her curtains, pillows, and even the blanket strewn over the back of her couch.
I must find out what they are, for they are clearly very important to her.
You looked up from the diary, glancing about your room. Indeed, you had not realised how many dog roses decorated your possessions. It was no wonder he guessed they were your favourite.
‘I was quite impressed when you brought me my favourite flower,’ you wrote in your diary. ‘I thought you had somehow read my thoughts. I suppose I made it easy for you.’
She also has a large bookcase in her sitting room, which was specifically requested when her father sent word accepting the betrothal. Since the last time I was in her chambers, she has begun to fill the shelves with books and trinkets. I spotted a small silver bell, a wooden box carved with various birds, and a little glass flower. It was not the same flower that is so prevalent elsewhere in her chambers (this one was a pale purple rather than pink), but still quite pretty.
While pondering that flower, I returned to the couch to compare it to the pink flower on her blanket and saw what she had been reading – “The Last Dragonlords,” my first, and still favourite, history of my house. It is not a particularly rigorous academic work, but I prefer it for the sense of wonder it has for the story of my ancestors.
If, at that point, I remembered any of what I wanted to say to her, the sight of that book, and the knowledge that she was somehow reading my favourite… I lost all words. I fear I fell silent for an uncomfortably long time, for she spoke next.
She wanted to know the reason for my visit. I asked her directly about the ruse of her headache. She seemed nervous, so I told her I do the same and that I often experience lingering pain. I was tempted to remove my patch and show her, but… she was already quite nervous. I did not want to make her more so, or frighten her so thoroughly that she will never warm to me.
What lay beneath his eyepatch that would frighten you so? You had heard many rumours. That his lost eye was nothing more than a pit of darkness. That he had replaced it with a jewel. That an ever-burning fire, fueled by his hatred and rage, burned within.
Despite the stories, you felt a twinge of shame and hurt that, despite his love for you, he did not trust you with seeing him truly bare. He thought you could be frightened away.
Somehow, that shame far overshadowed any curiosity or fear about what lay beneath the brown leather of his eyepatch.
I could already tell it wasn’t going to go how I wanted – she would not meet my eye. So, I offered to leave. I would not impose myself on her when she did not want me to. That is not how I want to start this. Or, start it again.
But she did want me to go! At least, that is what I thought she meant. I am not so sure anymore. She said something about my right to be there as her husband. At the time, I thought it was her shy way of asking me to stay. Now… I think she may have just been repeating something her mother or a Septa taught her.
There was another small patch of angry scribbles.
I’m so stupid! And hardly better than Aegon. No – she may not have been particularly enthusiastic, but I am sure if she genuinely did not want me there, she would have said so. And I would have obeyed. After all, she was quick to ask me to stop some of the other things I tried to do.
She did not like the kissing.
When I first mentioned that I would like to lie with her – which I foolishly reasoned was out of my desire for an heir instead of my desire for her – she simply laid on the bed like on our wedding night. But that is not what I want. I do not want this to simply be a union of duty! At least, not anymore. And I so wanted to kiss her.
So, I beckoned her to me, and she obeyed. My hopes that this would be different were still relatively high. I got closer, touched her face, and asked if I could kiss her.
And she asked, ‘Why?’
I swear that one little word hurt more than any pain I’ve felt in the training yard. Almost more than… well, not quite more than that. But close.
I could not think of any reason other than that she is my wife, and I love her and want more than anything to kiss her. I only told her the former and the latter, for I think if I told her I loved her, she would have been more afraid than if she had seen me without my patch. And the gods must be good, for she said yes.
Then I kissed her. I held her close, and I kissed her.
It was the most wonderful thing! She was soft and warm. And when I laced my hand through her hair, she made the most delightful sound! I could have just kissed her forever.
But then it was over. She shouted and pushed me away. It was… it was just after I tried to use my tongue. I don’t think she liked it.
She asked me why I ‘needed’ to kiss her. She must have disliked it very much.
I had no other explanation than what I had already offered. At least, none that I could tell her without sending her running from me forever. So I stopped and told her I did not need it – the first lie I’ve ever told her.
When she moved back to the bed, I could not help myself. I could not let us be in a marriage where we lie together out of nothing more than duty, fully clothed and anxious to get it over with. It was foolish, and I probably scared her with the request, but I asked her to remove her nightgown. She had already taken off her robe – a massive thing in her house colours that practically drowns her.
You allowed a brief kernel of anger to spark within you, enough for you to pick up your pen and write him another little message in your diary.
‘That robe is dear to me, thank you very much. What is it that makes you hate it so?’
There is nothing more beautiful in the world than her. She puts even the Maiden to shame. I would have been happy to stare at her, to take in that beauty until I had my fill – if I would ever get my fill.
She got on the bed and positioned herself exactly how she was on our wedding night. Not quite how I pictured it, but considering her hesitancy, I did not want to push her.
It took all my control to stop myself from kissing her again when I undressed and joined her. But I did. I also resisted doing anything more than just looking at her breasts.
I sat between her legs and stared at her. While I was more than ready to begin, she was not. At all. Of course, I knew I would have to prepare her, but I hoped she would have had at least some desire for me already.
I started with gentle touches, drawing circles on her thighs. She shivered a bit when I began, but she didn’t ask me to stop. From where I was sitting, I could tell she enjoyed it, even if she didn’t understand it. She did ask me to explain, and my answer was probably lacking – how does one explain why he was so inadequate? – but she gave a small nod when I promised that tonight would be better.
Then I finally touched her where I really wanted to and was delighted to find her… well, not as wet as I’d hoped, but it was an improvement upon our wedding night! I ran my fingers over her entrance, hoping to coax more wetness from her before I truly began. And when I looked at her again to ensure I wasn’t hurting her, she smiled at me!
Encouraged, I kept my fingers at her entrance, not venturing inside yet, but continuing my preparations there while I began to seek her pearl. As the books said, I only had to draw a straight line upward from her entrance to find it.
And, oh, when I found it! Her eyes snapped shut, her back arched off the bed, and the most glorious whine escaped her! It was everything I had imagined and more. Gods, I think I could have peaked just from watching her as I circled her pearl again and again, faster and faster.
But then, she asked me to stop – begged me to.
I thought I must have done something wrong, but she shook her head when I asked if it hurt. And when I asked if it felt good, she would not answer. She merely requested that I get on with what I needed to do and leave, for she was tired. This wound cut even deeper than before with the kissing.
I wanted to prepare her more – I was going to use my mouth on her. To show her how dearly I wish to please her, how much I want to worship and love her, if only she’d let me.
In anticipation of that act, I have been consulting Coryanne Wylde’s various accounts and expert critiques of the act in order to form the perfect strategy.
To begin, I would undress her, as I planned to do on our wedding night, laying gentle, nearly chaste kisses on each new bit of skin I revealed. Once she was bare, I would kiss her. Deeply. To give her a taste of what is to come. Then, I would kiss my way down. Her jaw, her throat, her collarbone, her breasts, and the plane of her stomach.
Once I made it past her navel, I would take her leg in my hand and begin a new trail of kisses upwards. The book says to start at the ankle, but I am too impatient for that – I will begin at the knee instead.
Just when she thought I was finally about to give her what she craved more than anything, I would once again change course to kiss her lips one final time. Then, I would descend.
I would start slowly, experimenting with different tactics to determine what drives her deliciously mad. Once I knew, I would feast. I would devour her like her pleasure was the air I needed to breathe. Like her cries of pleasure were beautiful music, and I would die if it ever stopped.
I would bring her to peak once with my mouth on her entrance. Again on her pearl. Then again and again in whichever way made her scream the loudest.
Only when she was so drunk with pleasure that she could no longer rise to meet my mouth or grasp at my hair would I relent. I would make my way back up to her mouth and soothe her with gentle kisses until she had regained herself and was begging for me to finally fuck her.
But I didn’t get to do any of that.
She asked me to stop, so I did. I pumped myself a little to ensure the disappointment hadn’t rendered me incapable of performing my duty and entered her.
The preparation did help. Entering her was easier, and she did not wince as much as the first time. And she felt even more heavenly somehow. The feeling was so intense that I had to take a moment to remind myself that she only wanted me to finish quickly so she would not have to endure me any longer.
So, I fucked her. I did not make love to her, as is my true desire. I just fucked her, like she was just any woman and not the love of my life.
And then, a miracle! I thrust into her, something about the angle allowing me in quite deep, and she reacted. She gasped, breathless, and her hips snapped up to meet mine. I froze in surprise and elation. I found her ‘sweet spot!’
But when I smiled at her, she turned away and refused to look at me again.
I just kept going. I did not try to hit that spot again, so as to not upset her further. I finished as quickly as I could and left the bed.
It was stupid of me, but I turned back to her after dressing. Everything had gone so horribly, but I still love her. I still need her. So I could not just leave her like that.
I asked if I could kiss her again. She let me. I was quick, as promised.
Then I came back here, once again alone and no closer to earning her love than I was before.
I must meet with my advisors again tomorrow. Perhaps they can help me understand why I keep fucking this up so badly when all I want is for her to let me love her the way I want to and for her to love me in return.
Your heart ached so severely that you thought there might be bruises when you looked down at your chest. But there was just skin – skin that Aemond would have happily kissed, had you let him.
As horrible and confusing as that night had been for you, it had been so tenfold for Aemond. He had wanted a grand, romantic evening, and you had greeted him with only coldness and suspicion.
He called you ‘the love of his life.’ You ran your finger over those words so many times that they became smudged, then went to write something in your diary but halted with your pen hovering over the paper.
What could you write to match what he’d said about you? Even if you could, would it really be true? How many times could you say, ‘I’m sorry?’
Well, at least one more time. ‘I’m so sorry, Aemond,’ you wrote, ‘I didn’t know, and I was still scared. Not of you, but of what I thought my life was to be. If you had only told me… I do not blame you, I swear. I just wish the both of us had been more honest with each other.’
You were far too exhausted to continue. It was not yet midafternoon, and you had already been from the near-heights of carnal pleasure to the depths of your despair that the unfortunate state of your marriage was, in actuality, mostly your fault.
So, after setting Aemond’s diary aside, you picked up your embroidery basket and began to work while your mind wandered.
It was only when your maids arrived to bring you dinner that you realised that, somehow, the dog roses you intended to make had become a sprawling wisteria vine.
-
You dreamed of the castle garden in late spring when all the flowers were in bloom. As you walked down the garden path, you saw every colour imaginable amongst the vibrant greens. But there was only one flower you really wanted to see – and the man you knew would be waiting for you beneath them.
Just as the first purple tendrils came into view, the dream faded, and you woke to see the first hints of dawn still beneath the horizon.
Drawing your blankets over your head, you squeezed your eyes shut and stubbornly tried to fall back asleep and return to your dream – to no avail. You were well and truly awake. And it would be some time before your maids came to dress you for the day.
So, dragging the blanket from your bed with you, you trudged back into your solar and settled into the couch before picking up Aemond’s diary again.
The 27th day in the 5th moon of the year
I met with Lord Wylde, Grand Maester Orwyle, and Aegon this morning. They had advice, but it was not as… straightforward as I had hoped. There is no simple trick to get her to love me. Nothing I can study from a book and then implement with assured success.
I have to woo her. I have to be witty and pleasant and charming and… romantic.
I do not think this is going to work.
Especially not after my first attempt was so disastrous.
Lord Wylde asked that I tell him about her, so I did. When he learned she enjoys reading as much as I do, he suggested I try to find common ground there. So, I went to try and find her in the library.
She was exactly where she was the last time I saw her there, still reading “The Last Dragonlords.” I watched her for a moment, savouring the look of contentment on her face as she read, as well as a few quick reactions to the book. How I love it when her nose scrunches in displeasure!
‘That is quite the odd thing to fixate on,’ you wrote in your diary. It seemed a decent night’s sleep had helped recover some of your humour. ‘What is it, in particular, that you like about my scrunched nose?’
She did smile at me when I approached, but I think she thought I was a Maester, for her smile faltered when I greeted her. And she was so shy. Usually, when I struggle to find the right words, she breaks the silence. Today, she did not.
At least it gave me time to remember why I came to the library. She was still reading “The Last Dragonlords,” so I told her it was my favourite and asked if I could join her. I think she was somewhat embarrassed about reading a children’s book, but I assured her it was no matter and that I would nonetheless enjoy reading it with her, and she allowed me to sit with her.
My plan was to sit with her, discuss the histories, and perhaps, in time, hold her hand as a first step toward genuine affection. But the plan quickly went awry.
It all happened so fast that I don’t even remember exactly what I said. But somehow, I insinuated that she was not intelligent enough to understand the book. The book meant for children – young children.
She was very upset with me. Rightfully so! Still upset enough that she stormed out of the library after making several cutting remarks that proved that she is, in fact, quite intelligent.
After several minutes and a brief reprimand from one of the Maesters, I finally gathered myself enough to realise that she had left the book there. As well as several pages of notes.
Of course, the noble thing would have been to not look and ask a servant to return them to her. But in that moment, I was desperate, not noble. So, I looked.
Her notes were beautifully organised and remarkably thorough – the work of a true scholar! She even crafted a beautiful family tree all the way through Aegon the Conqueror and his sisters. Had I not fumbled our initial interaction so entirely, we would have had a wonderful discussion.
You had feared him finding the notes, but you had never considered that he would be impressed rather than arrogantly amused. It made sense now that you knew his true nature. Perhaps, once whatever was between you was resolved, you could have that discussion.
In all honesty, there were a few questions you had that you hoped he would be able to answer. Not least of which being why in more than a thousand years, Targaryens had only come up with a dozen names that they repeated over and over again. You wrote as much in your diary.
It was useless for me to sulk in the library, agonising over what I should have said, so I gathered the book and her notes and left the library.
An apology was more than necessary, so I went to Aegon’s rooms. After all, there is perhaps no one with more experience apologising to women. Even if his apologies are self-serving.
When I arrived, I found Mother had already found Aegon first, and was well into another tirade about his behaviour. Normally, I would be happy to watch Mother yelling at him, but I did not feel I had time to. And Aegon was glad that I granted him a reprieve.
Admittedly, I had not wanted to admit to Mother that my wife and I were… not as close as I wanted. But, as she always is, she was eminently understanding, and far more helpful than Aegon was. His only suggestion was to bring her something nice – jewels, silks, or the like.
On the other hand, Mother gave me sage advice on what to say when I go to her. As my words have been my primary point of failure, I was very grateful for this. She did also say that a gift would not be amiss. An ‘offering of peace,’ she called it. But she advised something personal, not luxurious. If the gift is too valuable, she says, it will seem as if I am trying to buy her forgiveness rather than earn it.
I knew immediately what I should get her. I thanked Mother (and Aegon) and left at once for the gardens.
I found them – the flowers she loves so dearly. Dog roses, they are called. Unfortunately, they do not grow well in our climate, but the Maester’s managed to coax a few to bloom with their various potions and other horticultural creations.
They are almost as beautiful as her.
The Maester I spoke to said that it would be best if I had them cut just before I brought them to her, to preserve their beauty. So that is what I will do.
I will not practice tonight. At least… not that kind of practice. Instead, I will rehearse my apology. I cannot fail tomorrow.
You winced slightly, knowing that the next day would not go as Aemond planned and feeling as though it was your fault. But there was no changing that now. And you had already apologised – often and profusely.
So, you wrote only a simple note: ‘I don’t recall seeing dog roses on our tour of the gardens. Did you pluck them all?’
Looking back at his diary, you took a deep, steadying breath. Only two ribbons left.
The 28th day in the 5th moon of the year
I am the stupidest, most idiotic man in all the seven fucking kingdoms.
All I was trying to do was apologise to her for my unkind – though unintentionally so! – words in the library, but somehow it ended with her crying and me fleeing from her chambers yet again.
You cringed at the memory, almost not wanting to read on.
Aegon gladly offered his explanation, even after I told him I did not want it. He insists that I have so thoroughly repulsed her that she cannot help but burst into tears at the sight of me.
Mother thinks that she is just missing her family and her home, as she said. That she is overwhelmed by being alone in a strange place, and the familiar sight of the flowers – dog roses, as I have learned – brought those feelings to bursting.
Perhaps Mother is right. But her parents left a fortnight ago, and she has shown no other signs of homesickness. And she is not alone! She has the other ladies of the court to talk to, and Helaena and Mother adore her. And me.
If she came to me, I would do anything to cheer her. Not that she would seek comfort from me, no matter how dearly I wish she would. She certainly won’t after today.
After the disaster in the library yesterday and the scolding I received from Grand Maester Orwyle after my training this morning, I knew beyond a doubt that I needed to apologise. I… the shame I feel for having played any part in the state Orwyle described her in is unbearable.
So, I went to the gardens and had a Maester cut the flowers for me and arrange them in a simple bouquet.
She was on her couch when I arrived in her rooms – still in her nightgown and that robe. And again, she did not look at me. She had eyes only for the flowers. I thought then that they had been the right choice.
I apologised, but she did not react. She still just stared at the bouquet. So, I went ahead with the rest of my apology.
Then she touched my hand. It startled me, and I pulled away from her on instinct, dropping the bouquet in her lap. She looked at them like I had dropped a helpless kitten rather than flowers!
And she started crying. Softly, the tears welling in her eyes for a long moment before spilling over. I do not understand what I did to upset her. I said only what I had planned last night. It was so hard to resist brushing the tears away, but she seemed nearly volatile, and I did not want to make things worse.
‘I miss home,’ she said, finally.
It did sting that she does not consider King’s Landing and her life with me her home – it still does. But she is hundreds of miles away from the family of her birth, from the people who have undoubtedly treated her better than I have. I cannot blame her.
I apologised again for upsetting her and left.
At dinner, I had planned to ask Mother and Grandsire if we could find a way to send her home, at least for a little while. So she could be happy. Perhaps I could even go with her. I might have an easier time talking to her without the pressures of my family and the capital upon me.
You smiled at the thought of Aemond at your home keep. Of him in all his black leather among the fields of dog roses. Talking with your father in the library. Him training with your brothers – you were confident he could defeat any one of them alone, but knowing your brothers, they would absolutely gang up on him.
‘One day,’ you wrote, ‘I would love to show you my home.’
I was waiting for the opportunity to ask when she arrived! After this afternoon, I did not think she would come to dinner, but she did! I could have wept for my relief.
And when I offered my hand to her, she took it. Not only that, but she squeezed it – hard. I think believe it was her way of accepting my apology.
She did not speak during dinner, nor did anyone ask her too many questions. Aegon was his typically infuriating self, silently encouraging me to do something with her. What he expects me to do when in front of the entire family, I do not know.
After the meal, I offered to escort her back to her chambers, which she accepted. And once we were alone, she thanked me for the flowers!
It was going unusually well. That is, until I decided to open my mouth. I only meant to compliment her, as she did look quite beautiful, but… I just kept talking. And then I had suddenly insulted her gown from yesterday and her robe.
She closed herself off from me then, shoving away my arm. Why could I not just shut up? I know my words are the source of so many of our misunderstandings, yet I keep talking! At this point, I am strongly considering a vow of silence.
‘Please don’t take a vow of silence!’ you wrote, scrambling for your diary as if it mattered how quickly you got the words down. ‘Your voice is far too lovely for me to never hear it again.’
Tomorrow, I am going to try a suggestion from Lord Wylde. Show her that I am not a failure in everything I do. I pray it works.
You turned the page, expecting to find the entry for the next day, but there was none. There had been a page between the entries for the 28th and the 30th, but it had been sloppily torn out. All that remained was the beginnings of the date in the upper corner.
It was entirely against what you knew of Aemond. The man who had dutifully started his journal on the first day of the year and began each entry on a new page would not do something like this.
What had upset him so? Had you said something to him?
No, of course not. The only time you had seen him that day was in the training yard, and you hadn’t spoken to each other, not after… not after he stormed off. Had he actually been hurt in his fight with the Kingsguard? Or was he just embarrassed that you had witnessed him fall?
Gods, how you wished you had gone to him that night. But perhaps you could make up for it now.
‘After you were absent for dinner,’ you wrote to him in your diary, ‘I almost came to your rooms. I was worried for you. Though I confess, that was the only reason I found myself walking toward you… I missed you, at dinner. I missed you helping me into my chair. I missed your smile. I missed the way you’d hold the plates for me. Most of all, I missed your voice, and your presence next to me.’
You sniffled slightly, staring at a lamp on your wall to dry the tears that were forming before finishing the entry, ‘I’ve missed you these past days, as well. But I’m almost done. I’ll see you soon.’
The 30th day in the 5th moon of the year
I have made my gravest sin yet. And my most foolish.
We had the perfect morning together in the gardens. Silent, mostly, but perfect. She smiled at me! She allowed me to lead her through the gardens on my arm. It was… precisely what I had hoped for.
Until I once again acted like an absolute fucking fool.
Before I had to leave for court, I asked if I could come to her rooms that night. And for one perfect moment, I really believed she was going to say yes.
But then she mentioned her moon’s blood, and I just… panicked. I am not entirely an idiot (though I become less sure of that declaration with each passing moment), I know what that means.
It means that I’ve failed her. In even more ways than I knew.
I have made her miserable. I have made her cry. I have failed in every duty of a good husband, including the most basic of tasks – I have not given her a child.
I cannot go on like this – trapped in an endless cycle of misery where I can do nothing but hurt the both of us. I must do something to free us from this.
It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t love or even like me. I just want her to be happy. If that means that I never get to see her or love her again, I will make myself accept that.
First, she needs to know why I’ve acted this way. To know my true feelings so she can decide what she wants me to do. Gods, if she wanted me to go to Essos and never return, I would.
A blot of ink covered half the page, as though he had simply set his pen down while he thought.
I know what to do. I just pray she understands.
“I understand,” you said aloud, as though Aemond were before you. But, of course, he wasn’t. He was halfway across the castle, a distance that suddenly felt like the Narrow Sea itself. Throwing down your blanket, you shouted for your maids to dress you at once, your morning meal be damned. The moment finished tying off the last lace of your gown, you ran.
You had only been shown where Aemond’s chambers were once – on your first tour of the Holdfast. Then, you did not know whether to be disappointed or thankful that they were far from yours. Now, as your nervousness flooded through every part of your body, you hated the distance more than anything.
Each step was an effort, as with every one, your legs felt heavier and heavier, as if they were made of iron. Your blood felt as though it was rushing dangerously fast, carrying with it a marked chill. Despite feeling frozen within, sweat still somehow beaded at your brow. Yet you could not wipe it away, for your hands were all but stitched to the two diaries you carried.
Was this a terrible idea? Would Aemond laugh at you for all your silly little notes? Would he be angry with you for taking days to fulfil his request? You came to a halt in the middle of the corridor, tears prickling in your eyes as you considered so many horrible possibilities.
No, you thought, the word echoed by the impact of your foot on stone as you took a heavy, sure step forward.
The Aemond you thought you knew would do those things. But that Aemond wasn’t real – and never was. He had only ever lived in your terrified imagination.
The real Aemond was the one who had been so awestruck upon first seeing you that he could not say anything other than your name. Who had fallen for you so quickly and with such intensity that he forgot how to act like a proper person and instead stumbled over his words and actions like a drunk man through a crowded alley. Who had been so desperate for you to return his affections that he swallowed his pride to seek help. And who had finally given you his diary when he could think of no other way to show you how he really felt and who he truly was.
It was the thought of finally meeting that Aemond that made you put one foot in front of the other, faster and faster, until you were sprinting down the halls, only stopping when you came to the door you had seen only once before – his door.
You did not understand how you had found it again after only seeing it only once before. Nor did you remember knocking on the smooth, dark wood.
But then you heard footsteps approaching.
Hastily, you transferred the diaries to one hand and wiped the sweat from your brow with the sleeve of the other. You wanted to straighten your hair, for it had surely come loose from its braid after running so fast. But there was no time for that.
There was the dull, metallic sound of the door being unlatched, and then there he was.
Aemond stood before you, breathing heavily himself as though he, too, had been running. His silver hair was mussed, and there were smudges of purple beneath his widened eyes – his eyes.
He was not wearing his eyepatch.
Your mouth fell open at the sight. At least one of the rumours had been true. Beneath the raised, rough skin of his scar, in place of his lost eye, was a brilliant blue sapphire. It suited him perfectly and was perhaps the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.
He looked at you for a moment, the corners of his mouth lifting in a hesitant smile before realising what had caught your attention so thoroughly.
“Oh gods,” he whispered, covering the sapphire with his hands and turning away. He took a few steps into the room before speaking again. “I did not mean for you to see this. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please…”
You said nothing. Silently, you moved into the room and shut the door. Aemond stared at you, his good eye watering as you approached him.
“I’m so sorry,” he said again. “You should not have had to – ” He startled when you brought your free hand up to his wrist and started trying to tug his hand away from his face. “What are you…?”
When your only response was to continue tugging, he relented, allowing you to lower his hand. He swallowed thickly, fixing his good eye on the wall behind you instead of at you. Seeing his shyness, and now knowing it for what it was, almost made you smile.
But your own shyness took hold of you as you guided his hand down and wrapped it around the spines of the twin journals you held. When you looked back up at Aemond, he was staring at them and the green ribbon that now marked a page within your diary.
“I don’t understand,” he breathed, tightening his hold on the books.
With a slight smirk, you gazed up at him and dropped your hand from the diaries. “It’s your turn.”
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