#fall lout boy

[holdingfocus]

Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy - 2ourdust - Minneapolis, MN 04.06.24

photo by me. if using - credit @holdingfocus on tumblr & @amymckeonphoto on twitter/instagram

[spideykrs]

i know that this is an incredibly niche and probably ooc hc but punk/hardcore roksoo... like, after all the shit teenage krs would have been put through he would have wanted to just be able to hit back, just to get the feeling that he isnt as weak as he always felt with his uncle. sixteen-something krs with wear lines and baby fat lost from his face being able to sneak into clubs/speakeasies bcause they think he's older than he is. krs going to shitty punk venues and mosh pits and angry crowds thrashing around to screechy guitars and he does get a little bruised but that's okay because he probably gave someone else a broken nose too.

idk. i know this is very out of character and self indulgent but id like to see krs's built up and understandably repressed anger and him coping w it by joining the pop punk, hardcore scene downtown. worn leather jackets and full body tattoos and face piercings and a sort of unadulterated freedom krs has never been privy to. a group of scene guys take a look at him and are immediately able to tell that despite what krs looks like that he's just an angry kid and they sort of... become friends with him. take him in.

this may also just be because im a huge pop punk/rock piece of shit. when i eventually write this into a fic ill definitely be cameo-ing bandom guys...

[blondeboyfriend]

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈

[ PAIRING ] Wolfwood x f!reader [ AUTHOR'S NOTE ] Yes, this is a repost. Yes, I didn't write this my brain. [ SYNOPSIS ] idk you fuck your best friend's brother. I truly didn't think that hard about any of this. [ WORD COUNT ] like 1k [ CONTENT ] Porn without a stitch of plot, you're besties with your roommate, vaginal sex, "just the tip", he hits it from the back (ayyy), dubcon (drunk sex), alcohol, overstimulation, pet names (girlie, baby), barely edited, and nothing about this is serious like in the least.

You alwaaaaaaaaays thought your best friend’s older brother was cute in a fucked up kind of way. He was tall, legs toned and long, and broad shouldered. His clothes were always disheveled in some way: pants that were too short and revealed his ankles, shirts with several buttons undone that showed off his chest. His black hair was always in a state of perfect disarray. He wore dark sunglasses all the time and chain smoked.

But the biggest appeal was that he was a seminarian. A priest-in-training. You assumed those types were stuffy, good boys that went to bed sober every night.

Nicholas, however, was anything but that. You wouldn’t say he was an alcoholic, but he felt no guilt when it came to imbibing. Anytime he stopped by he brought a bottle of dark rum and made you play drinking games. When your friend would go to bed, you would jokingly confess to a multitude of sins of varying severity.

And you alwaaaaaaaaays wanted something more to happen, but getting caught by your friend deterred you. She already thought her brother was a bit of a loser and she would have judged you endlessly for having poor taste.

She loved him of course; she simply didn’t hold him in high regard. His existence was too contradictory, the juxtaposition too much to reconcile. He was a lout of the first degree, but also was relatively pious and devoted to his studies.

Your friend wanted more for you (not her weird, religious brother). And as long as she was around you could fight off your desires with zero issues.

That’s why you were set up for failure the night he stopped by without warning. Your friend wasn’t home and your fantasy started to feel more tangible. Everything was falling into place; this was the perfect opportunity to indulge in your crush.

You scurried around in search of something slutty yet comfortable to wear which ended up being a pair of booty shorts, a cropped sweatshirt, and absolutely nothing underneath. You knew if you stretched your arms over your head he’d get a tantalizing view of your breasts.

You opened the door and told him that his sister wasn’t home, batting your lashes. He smirked and asked if you were doing anything, his voice like honey, endlessly beguiling. You invited him in.

“You tryna have some fun?” he asked with an impish grin. He held up a bottle of Bacardi.

“Hell yeah. Let me grab some shot glasses.”

You strutted to the kitchen with a little spring in your step. You looked over your shoulder to make sure your guest was following. His eyes were firmly pointed at your ass, noticing how the cheeks poked out from the bottom of your shorts. The swing in your hips successfully hypnotized him, pulling him deeper into your clutches. You were going to make this night count.

He took a seat at the table and watched as you grabbed two glasses from the highest shelf. He smirked as your sweater rode up, revealing the plush underside of your tits. You pretended not to notice.

“Shall we?” you asked, handing him a shot glass.

The two of you took shot after shot, rarely speaking to one another. You didn’t need words. A smoldering glance, a flirty wink, said it all.

“You got a drinkin’ problem, girlie,” Nicholas finally said, pointing at the nearly empty bottle of rum.

“You drank just as much!” you laughed, elbowing him.

“I’m shouldering the weight of God’s words. What’s your excuse?”

“I’m trying to get the courage to fuck a priest-in-training obviously.”

He cocked an eyebrow and genuinely seemed surprised by your bold initiative.

“Nah. My sister’ll kill me… And you too probably.”

“She will never know,” you purred, grabbing a hold of his hands and leading him to your bedroom.

You undressed immediately, tossing your clothes at him. You got on the bed on your hands and knees, and arched your back. You gave him the perfect view of your glistening cunt. You heard Nicholas fiddling with his belt and dropping it on the floor. He positioned himself behind you, rubbing the tip of his cock along your dripping folds.

“I’m only puttin’ the tip in, alright?” he said, flicking his lighter. You immediately smelt the acrid smoke of his cigarette. “I don’t need you fallin’ in love with me.”

He guided his cock into your cunt, stopping halfway, and began to massage your clit with his free hand. The pads of his fingers were soft and warm. 

“I want all of it,” you whined pathetically.

You craned your neck back and pouted at him. His cheeks were pink, jaw clenched. He was a man in trouble, a man weighing his options. He took a drag off his cigarette and put it out in the cup of water sitting on your nightstand.

“Alright. You want my cock that bad, huh?” he asked, playing with your aching clit.

“Yes!”

He sank his cock inside you and he let out the most heavenly moan. It was thick, stretching out your cunt in a euphoric way. His thrusts were fast and deep, with an air of desperation to them. He kept his fingers firmly placed on your clit, furiously rubbing it. It was almost too heavy a burden to bear. You felt like you were going to collapse under the weight of your ardor.

“To—too much,” you choked out.

“Nah. Lemme show what too much really is, baby.”

He pinched your clit between his fingers and you yelped. It was already so sensitive, the pressure he was applying was dizzying. You struggled to hold yourself up and buried your face into your pillow. He was right. This was too much. But you loved it.

Nicholas chuckled and slammed his cock into you. His thrusts were relentless. Each one was punctuated with one of your dreamy moans. You were seeing stars, ascending into the arms of God, or something… you didn’t fucking know. Your brain was leaking out of your ears. And it didn’t matter; it served no purpose. All you needed was his cock throbbing in your slick cunt.

[toomanyfictionalboyfriends]

Peter Parker (written with TASM in mind but could be any)

"would you love me if I was a worm" x Christmas time

"Pete?" You call for him as soon as you hear the door open.

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry I'm late, May needed me to get a few things." He apologizes, kicking out of his sneakers.

"S'okay bub. I picked out a movie, it's all queued up, I was just waiting for you to get here to make popcorn so it didn't get cold." You press a quick kiss to his cheek as he shrugs out of his coat, hanging it on the rack next to yours. It's such a simple action but the thought of having your own home with Peter one day where your coats permanently reside next to one another makes your heart swell.

"What movie?" He follows you into the kitchen, puttering around with his phone while you talk and make popcorn.

"Santa Clause. It's one of my all time favorite Christmas movies."

"Well I know that. I just thought we'd be watching something different since we watched it last week." His phone is left playing a tik tok on loop for a moment while he peppers your face with kisses.

"No we watched Fred Claus, it's not the same, Peter. This one is the one with Scott and Charlie. Santa falls off the roof and Scott puts on the suit? Scott's Santa because of the Santa Clause? Bernard the elf? We absolutely did not watch this last week. I will fight you on this one."

"I'll win."

"You think you're all big and bad cause you're Spiderman, well, newsflash, pretty boy. You wouldn't hurt me if your life depended on it." You deliver a peck to his nose before he defeatedly slumps at the counter again, scrolling to another tik tok. It's quiet besides the microwave and Peter's phone but soon enough that's paused.

"Princess?"

"Mh?"

"Would you love me if I was a wo-"

"No, Peter, I would not love you if you were a worm. Worms are gross and slimy and they wiggle too much. Besides, I'd never be able to kiss you, you could never hold me again. I'd just be lonely, you wouldn't be able to talk and I couldn't send you funny tik toks that make me think of you. Pete you being a worm is a lose lose situation. No I would not love you if you were a worm. I'm sorry." You shake your head.

"Have you thought about this?" He gasps in disbelief.

"Would you love me if I was a worm?"

"Abso-fucking-loutely I would. I'd put you in a little Tupperware with some holes in the lid, and not a cheap one either, one of May's good Tupperware. I'd put in some wet dirt for you, cause worms like moist dirt, right? And some- whatever it is worms eat. I could start a compost on the balcony. I'll become a worm expert for you bub, I'll learn everything there is to know about worms so I can take care of you and love you." He also seems to have thought his answer through.

"Peter, you could never kiss me, or cuddle me."

"That's what the Tupperware is for, kissing and cuddling, bub."

"I'm not going to turn into a worm, thankfully, but here, your popcorn is done." You shove the bag into his chest.

"Are you mad?"

"You would be totally fine with me turning into a worm Peter, what do you think?" You plop down on the sofa, starting up the movie.

"I'd be fine with myself turning into a worm too, we could be little wormies in love, bubba." He nudges you excitedly.

"Shut up, neither of us are turning into worms, we need arms so we can hold each other and lips so we can kiss each other. Now watch the movie with me." You curl up against his side and give him a kiss, thanking whatever power exists that neither of you are worms.

[alessabriel]

DadBruceWayneYan! That he is completely and hopelessly in love with his precious girl, the apple of her eye and his fourth eldest daughter, it was inevitable not to fall for you.

DadBruceWayneYan! Always seek your well-being above all things, did a boyfriend of yours stand you up on a date? Say no more, he will be there for you and take you on a date you will never forget, you are the center of his universe.

DadBruceWayneYan! Who always takes you shopping, going to such lengths to rent the whole damn mall to yourself, and stands by you and compliments you on how beautiful you are, how gorgeous every item of clothing looks on you, and how wonderful it looks on you. each dress.

DadBruceWayneYan! He loves everything about you, your always innocent and brilliant look, your beautiful body, your voice and every sub-tone that lay hidden in your being, how your hands always searched for him, how your simple existence was unique to him and you fill every lack , you complement it.

DadBruceWayneYan! That hits every lout who dares to make you cry and feel less, each one of your tears wipes them away and takes you to her bed to sleep, assuring you that you are beautiful, that no one deserves you. And no one knows what happened to those boys who treated you badly in your relationships, none of your brothers stress you out about it and they dedicate all the love they have to you.

DadBruceWayneYan! Who, because they believe you are innocent and pure, does not notice how you love being the center of their attention, how you gloat when they abandon those women who try to get into their pants by taking you by the arm to show off your galas and your achievements that benefited Gotham. You could only smile behind your glass of champagne.

DadBruceWayneYan! Whose love becomes heavy, overwhelming and suffocating to his soul that begins to pick up on your innocent flirtations and how your outfits become shorter when you two would go out alone.

DadBruceWayneYan! Who you love in the same sick, possessive and overwhelming way, hidden behind your facade of innocence.

[platinumrosetail]

Book request

Yandere lmk x magi hinahoho twin reader

So it was during a fight in a Storm and fighting a enymy and she fall into the lyunreth the other and her brothers try to find it

She go though the lybresth against the enemy and win ( now for this it goin be water and plant powers cuz I don't know what else do she like yuni oni)

So her wepon was a a beautiful LOUTS flower pendeite

And when she won it her enyms in rage did a attacking but the labyrinth didn't like that and sent him out but gave the reader a extra reward for being kinda ( or punsmet lol)

So she gets sent to the lmk and she changes a little bit she still tall and buff but has LOUTS flower looks and her hair like a beautiful LOUTS poud and her smki like water and other stuff basically she look like a LOUTS godsse and she fall into the lmk world try to find a away back home and help her friends who she doesn't know don't want her to go and fell in love with her

I’m guessing you mean one with text for the conversation, “” this is what I meant but I’ll try my beast with this so I hope you like it! 😁

Warning: noob author, dark theme, yandere romantic characters, female!reader, and others.

Characters: various males.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

( fair warning, since your didn’t seem to have specify how far you wanted it to go I’ll just do 2 episodes of season one to help at least hopefully make it into a long post, and I’ll try to have the characters and reader have conversations, ain’t no guarantee but I’ll make sure to at least try and do that. 😅😁)

You wake up to bricking in a whisper like tone that you can only make out a few bits of; like “Who is she?”, “How is she as tall as sandy?” Which was random for you to hear cause most people would know how you’re so tall except for children of course and you also don’t know who this sandy person is.

“Um… who are you people and where am I?” I ask to the people in the room that was turned away from me though when I had spoken that seem to have alerted them on how I’m awake now.

“Oh! I’m mk, this is mei, pigsy, tang-” this ‘mk’ kid was interrupted by a pink pig like man.

“Kid! We don’t know if she’s a threat or not! So don’t go introducing us to her so easily!” He scolded the boy. I sweatdrop but understand the possible skepticism.

“ooh, but pigsy she seems like a nice person, plus we found her all alone and she could be like sandy all big but in reality a sweetheart.” Mk tries to justify which made pigsy groan before relenting.

“Fine!” Then he turns to me. “But if you do anything to mk and the others I’ll make sure you wished you were never born.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you for allowing me to stay here.” I thanked him politely.

after everything got settled with how i’m ging to sleep and how things run i began working for pigdy with mk and getting to know them all.

it wasn’t long for their supposed mayor and leader of this city to come visit the shop which i had found a bit weird and suspicious on how he came here all of the sudden.

the mayor spoke a few words to mk and creepily said “cause i’m the mayor!”  very loud with an insane look.he looks at me before he left and i got a chill as he does so.

when he was out of my vision i could still feel his eyes on me even if he isn’t there anymore.

“that was one weird mayor.” i say as i look back to where he left just to make sure he wasn’t actually there watching me with hios insane eyes of his.

“ehhh, he’s been mayor for a good long while so i wouldn’t worry about it, he’s done some good things to this city plus he usually not out of his office most of the time so if you’re uncomfortable then you’ll won’t be seeing much of him that much anyway.” mei says trying to ease my worries which helped with what it could.

“ok, i guess i’ll have to take your word for it as y’all been in this city longer than i have.”

“yea! and since i got this open to anything key from the mayor let’s test it out shall we!” mk suggested.

i worry they’ll get in trouble so i go with them just in case.

that worry was very much justified. mk and mei began opening a lot of things, some was things you shouldn’t open while others are things were empty thankfully.

mk even got a bright idea to put it to his head to see what would happen, i don’t know what had happened but it must’ve been something.

though soon after this red like person came in and demanded that we handed over the key, not likely as it might be used for something no good and would put many people in danger plus they seem to know him and don’t have a good history with the red boy.

all three of us battled the red boy until his own mother decided to join in on the fun of this battle.

sadly they now have the key to anything, which most definitely won’t be used to unlock any pet stores to see any puppies or cats.

we couldn’t get the key back so we just had to leave it at that, plus we can most likely defeat whatever comes at us for if it is being used by red boy, who i now know is called redson family.

What I didn’t know is that I seemed to have sparked a interest in redson.

mk was over at his mentor; monkey king’s place training and stuff when it happened. we had to faced this big shadow likle being that suspiciously looked like a monkey.

“shouldn’t we wait for mk?!” i asked mei as we all fail to defeat the purple and dark theme monkey beast.

“ehhh, i think we can handle it and if not then we’ll call  mk over to help.” i sigh before deciding to go help the bystanders to a safer place away from here not noticing or taking in account that i’m being watched.

after heling the bystanders, i soon joined up with the others and help them take down the monkey beast.

.

.

.

��we should really call mk over now.” i say to mei as the beast took down the others and us which she finally agreed on doing thankfully.

(i’m doing this by memory so some things might be wrong than in the actual episode so please bare with me, thank you.)

It oddly enough wasn’t mk who defeated the monkey beast but a shadowy figure that also looked like a monkey; I wonder if that’s the famous monkey king.

“He that’s monkey king!!” Mk exclaimed before grabbing me and rushing off to his supposed monkey mentor. “He can finally meet you now, (Y/N)!”

“Hey, monkey king! I’d like for you to meet a new- wait you’re not monkey king…” mk stopped himself when he noticed the differences between monkey king and this newcomer.

“Uh- yea i get that a lot.” This new monkey squatted before introducing himself to mk and me. “But my name is macaque, six eared macaque actually.”

I was skeptical as tang never really mentioned about this sized eared macaque before or he musta forgot, that could be it and I’m just overreacting on this monkey fellow.

Mk started training with this new monkey acquaintances of ours as monkey king; i don’t really think this would be a good idea plus the advice that is most definitely not good advice coming from this dark monkey named macaque.

I sadly can’t really say anything as mk seem to get more dark than he actually is and that could react very bad on my end as well as make a scene but i do make sure to give him silent support here and there.

Though this feeling i had gotten proved to be correct about macaque being someone we couldn’t trust.

Macaque had betrayed mk and was truly after monkey king’s powers that was inherited from him to mk

I decided to help mk out as I had followed the two to were this beast was which was not some random dwelling beast but in fact a power of macaque that he had used to i guess have mk lured out so they can get buddy-buddy with each other to get macaques plan in motion.

“Spirit of nature and life dwell in my body and in case me into natures will, buer!” i chanted which had light in case my body turning my body.

Me and macaque started fighting each other as mk was busy trying to get himself unstuck from where he was trapped by his staff. Monkey king soon came in som show and is now helping me defeat macaque.

It was a difficult battle but we finally became victorious in it and mk even was able to help and get his powers back with encouragement words by monkey king which allowed mk to get his staff from keeping in place.

“Oh! Monkey king!! I would like for your to meet a new friend of mine, (Y/n)!!’ I look down art the monkey before giving my hand out for as handshake with the monkey king who also introduced himself.

“H-hi! Hi! Nice to meet another one of buds friends. You can call me sun wukong or just sun if you want, b-but monkey king is also aright, too!!” Sun blabbed on making me chuckle at his nervousness that is never thought he would have.

“Well it’s nice to meet you as well, as mk said my name is (Y/n).” I reintroduced myself for myself this time before me and mk headed i off to pigsy’s shop.

What i didn’t know is that every man i meet from here on out was going to gain a obsession with me and would like to keep me to themselves.

(A/n: hello!!! Hoped you liked it!!!! I don’t usually make things like this so i hope i did alright and hoped y’all liked it!! And this will be my big break of taking request for a long while, I’ll still post but for my little ideas and stuff and I’ll also be busy on Wattpad with updating my books so i won’t take any request for a long while until i see fit it’s time to start doing requests again. Also I’m burned out on lmk request so i won’t be doing those as much as you’d probably hoped for when i do post on here so please keep that in mind and even then when i do open my request again i would like for some of those request to not be of lmk as i want y’all to understand that i don’t just only do lmk ands know that lmk request would most likely burn me out so i hope y’all can understand that and hope y’all have a wonderful dayevening/night!!!)

[lemonhemlock]

The Thing of it is, show doesn't even support the whole "Happy" Black Family. Jace clearly doesn't like Daemon and seems to be afraid of him as well, plus being the mentions of bastardry ( secret, but obvious) is clearly sore spot for him. Lucerys showed he was uncomfortable with becoming heir to Driftmark because of his bastardy ( I look like Harwin Strong) and even says Driftmark should have gone to Vaemond. And Daemon has been shown to be abusive towards Rhaenyra and etc.

So yeah I do agree the Blacks! Family is not a happy family in verse and there is case of " showing, instead of telling" going on with there scenes. It strikes me as putting on facade of Happy Family, when it clear they're are major cracks and it going to burst.

hello, anon, it's true that jace and daemon clash a little in episode 10, but it's unclear whether that's a regular thing or just a high stress situation with v high stakes. i do hope we get to see more of that in the future, though.

it's v hard to extrapolate since daemon doesn't interact with the children at all after the 6-year time jump, not even so much as to look at them, i don't think. baela does snitch on her grandmother for him, so there's that.

this is where a few extra episodes in S1 would have helped a lot, i suppose. the blacks are a very big mixed family with 7 children going on 8. there are a ton of dynamics that we know next to nothing about.

luke does show some level of awareness and remorse as a result of his illegitimacy, but he still is quick to get physical at a slight insinuation. there is this disconnect between how he presents himself and his actions. i don't want to say that he is validated by the narrative, because i don't really think that's the case exactly. often enough, the show has presented us with events and allowed us to form our own opinions, very rarely has it spelled anything out. but luke's story could have really been contextualised better with a couple of tweaks.

when he's with rhaenyra or jace, he's a sweet, sensitive boy, not especially confident in himself. yet he expresses no guilt faced with the person he disfigured. he just witnessed the theft of driftmark in broad daylight and the summary execution of a man for his own benefit. for someone plagued with guilt, you'd think he'd be a little more contrite, traumatized even. aemond was right in what he was saying, after all. and his taunt was comprised of a mere insinuation, he didn't even utter the word bastard. it wasn't even in open court, just a private dinner with close family members where everyone present knew the truth already. the damage to jace and luke's reputation was exactly zero.

then he runs to mummy to complain about it - after the deed is done, not before. and he's only just a little puppy-dog-eye sad about it. meanwhile, rhaenyra is framed in a lovely, fulfilling motherhood glow, comforting her silly boy, assuring him he's the victim in all this and that she's going to help him live out this lie she has carved for him.

it could have been a pretty sinister scene if it was shot with gaslighting vibes. but it's shot as a lovely family moment of a mother supporting her son. so it's pretty easy to fall for the facade that they're the westerosi brady brunch. many people who watched the show came off with this exact impression - there must be a reason for it, it's not mass hysteria. especially when the dysfunction within the green camp is highlighted so much more - we see alicent positively fuming at aegon's behaviour, aemond is seething with jealousy and rage, helaena is quick to point out her husband is a drunken lout etc.

this has turned into a very rambly answer, but i do think there is an imbalance between the two camps in how they're framed. they either should have shown more dysfunction within the blacks (it's not like they don't have enough material to work with) or shown more positive interactions between the greens.

remember that scene at the end of GOT S02E09 Blackwater when Cersei is sitting on the Iron Throne, with Tommen in her lap? She is tenderly telling him a story and saying how much she loves him. You'd say she is such a gentle and caring mother, but she is trying to get him to drink poison! (to spare him from execution, yes, but it's not shot like a fluflly hallmark moment) Imagine those kinds of vibes when Rhaenyra is telling Luke how he shares blood with the Baratheons before sending him to Storm's End.

[fandomtrumpshate]

Unlisted Fandom Challenge - update

We now have 151 write-in fandoms. Egads.

At the front of the pack it's still Young Royals leading Malevolent and The Queen's Thief, with 911: Lone Star now in a 3-way tie for 4th place with Overwatch and The Owl House. Fifth place is an eleven-way tie -

3 Alex Rider 3 Chainsaw Man 3 Disney's Descendants 3 Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (The Husky & His White Cat Shizun) 3 Homestuck 3 Justified 3 Lout of the Count's Family / Trash of the Count's Family 3 Miraculous Ladybug 3 Red White & Royal Blue 3 The Legend of Zelda 3 Top Gun Movies

Under the cut is the full list of all write-in fandoms with one or two signups … so far. Write in your own fandom, or sign up for one of these to bump it up the list.

Signups are open through Feb 19!

2 Professional Wrestling 2 Aphmau MyStreet 2 Attack on Titan 2 Between Us 2 Bungou Stray Dogs 2 Carmen Sandiego 2 Destiny 2 2 Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency 2 Escaflowne 2 Gravity Falls 2 Hollow Knight 2 Love in the Air (Thai BL) 2 Not Me 2 NU: Carnival 2 Pokemon 2 Scholomance 2 Stargate: Atlantis 2 Supergirl 2 The Song of Achilles 2 Video Blogging RPF 2 X-men 2 YuYu Hakusho 1 A Series of Unfortunate Events 1 A Voice from Darkness (Podcast) 1 Ace Attorney 1 All The Wrong Questions 1 Animorphs 1 Be Kind My Neighbor 1 Bioshock 1&2 (only) 1 Blood of Youth 1 Blue Exorcist 1 Blue Lock 1 Bug Fables 1 Cabin Pressure 1 Call the Midwife 1 Cats the Musical 1 Citizen Sleeper 1 Cobra Kai 1 Coco Pixar 1 Cosmere (Brandon Sanderson) 1 Crossover Chaos AU (multifandom crossover AU) 1 Cyberpunk: Edgerunners 1 Danganronpa 1 Dead Poets Society 1 Dice Punks (podcast) 1 Digimon 1 Divergent (Movies) 1 Downton Abbey 1 Dragon Ball Z 1 Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey 1 Dungeons and Daddies 1 Eerie Indiana 1 Elder Scrolls 1 Emma - Jane Austen 1 Fire Country 1 Firefly 1 For All Mankind 1 Glee 1 Grace and Frankie 1 Greys Anatomy 1 Grimm 1 Guardian/Zhen Hun 1 Gundam 1 Half-Life 1 Hit the floor 1 Howl's Moving Castle 1 Hudson & Rex 1 IDOLiSH7 1 Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie 1 Infinity Train 1 Jane Austen (any novel any pairing) 1 Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse 1 Jojo's Bizarre Adventure 1 Jurassic Park 1 King of Scars Duology 1 Kingsman 1 Les Misérables 1 Los Simuladores 1 Love Between Fairy and Devil 1 Madre Solo Hay Dos 1 Miss Scarlet and The Duke 1 Mob Psycho 100 1 Monochrome Factor 1 Outlast 1 Parasol Protectorate 1 Peacemaker 1 Persuasion - Jane Austen 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 1 Psych 1 Qi Ye 1 Ranger's Apprentice 1 Ranma 1/2 1 RPF 1 Sable 1 Sanders Sides 1 Scooby Doo 1 Shadow and Bone 1 Shameless (US) 1 Sidemen 1 Suits 1 Stephen King's IT 1 Tamora Pierce works 1 Tangled the Series 1 Ted Lasso 1 Teen Titans (Animated Series) 1 Temple of the White Rat series by T. Kingfisher 1 The Ancient Magus Bride 1 The Boys 1 The Daevabad Trilogy 1 The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison 1 The King: Eternal Monarch 1 The Legend of Drizzt 1 The Lion Hunters Series - Elizabeth Wein 1 The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) 1 The Man From UNCLE (TV) 1 The Tarot Sequence - K.D. Edwards 1 The Terror (TV 2018) 1 The Vampire Diaries (TV) 1 This Way Up 1 Tortall - Tamora Pierce 1 Tower of God 1 Transformers 1 True Blood (TV) 1 Twilight 1 Until We Meet Again 1 UuultraC 1 Valorant 1 Vikings (TV) 1 Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold 1 Warframe 1 Warrior Nun (TV Show) 1 What We Do in the Shadows 1 White Collar 1 Whiteley Foster's Mansong

[crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell]

The Crowley Tour 9x16

I don't think Sam has to like Crowley

But man why does Sam have to do me like that for? 😭 Sam actually said Crowley was useless even more so than usual meaning Sam saying Crowley has never been useful

Crowley:

*was the reason they found Pestilence

*was the reason they were able to bind Death

*was the reason they were able to get alpha vamp blood

*was the reason they were able to make a God weapon

*was the reason they were able to read Metatron's spell

*was the reason they were able to get Gadreel out of Sam's head

*was the reason they found out about Cuthbert Sinclair because they were only thinking of the active BMoL membership until Crowley told them about the inactive membership

*was the reason Dean was able to get the MoC to even be able to kill Abaddon at all

CROWLEY

If memory serves me, I'm the one who helped your brother find Cain so that we could find the Blade, so that Dean could receive the Mark. I'm the one who flushed that lout Gadreel out of your noggin. So, lately, big boy, I've seen more playing time than you.

SAM [exasperated]

Exasperated because our king spitting facts and Sam is annoyed that Crowley is right tbh

What saved this episode was the quote above and also this moment

CROWLEY

Did I or did I not keep my end of the bargain the other night? Quite brilliantly, I might add. We are partners! And you owe me!

SAM

"Owe" you?

CROWLEY

I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you two. You shoot me up. You make me a junkie. You keep me stashed away for months while my kingdom falls apart?!

CROWLEY

Crowley is able to stand up for himself and Crowley almost always has that fight to him throughout his seasons. Even in season 10, Cas was like but I might have to kill Dean and Crowley was like "so?"

Crowley also won that episode

Intelligence: Being able to understand Latin, out of the box thinking about the inactive membership etc. Was able to stay hidden from Magnus

Sassy: Poor moose. It's always a little tricky keeping up, isn't it?

Brilliant, I must say. I'm speaking of myself, of course. All you two managed to do was get trussed up. Combine a little derring-do on my part, a little dumb muscle from squirrel, a little bleeding from moose...

Witty: DEAN [kicking a foot of a dead body on the floor]

And what do you call this?

CROWLEY

Refreshments?

7 out of 10 for Crowley. Would have been 6 but the episode ended with Crowley winning so

[ridiasfangirlings]

S4 and Homra go to the beach and compete in a surfing/volleyball competition. S4 surprisingly wins and while they’re celebrating, Homra is in the back being all salty to the point where they pick up S4 members bridal style and throw them in the water. Long story short, they all have a good time and the couples are being very flirty with each other (mikorei, sarumi, izuseri, bit of Fushimi and Akiyama too)

Somehow I can totally see all the Homra guys just tossing the S4 boys into the sea, like returning fish to their habitat XD Imagine Everybody Lives AU, post-ROK Munakata suggests a joint bonding trip between clans and Totsuka agrees, wouldn’t it be nice for everyone to enjoy the sun and the sea and some friendly competition. The Homra guys are raring to go, all very confident that there’s no way the skinny nerds of the Blue clan could ever beat them at anything. Munakata picks a team for the volleyball competition and another for the surfing competition, imagine Fushimi trying to sneak away until Yata prods him into playing volleyball. Munakata himself prefers to surf, certain he can ‘ride those sick waves,’ as the kids say, while Mikoto is actually willing to go surfing if it means getting to see Munakata wipe out. The Homra guys playing volleyball feel pretty confident until Chitose nearly ends up with a broken face trying to return Awashima’s mighty serve.

Ultimately S4 manages to win both competitions, Doumyouji and Hidaka are surprisingly adept surfers (and Munakata picks it up far too quickly, Doumyouji thinks it’s creepy but also cool maybe), while over at the volleyball game Awashima has led everyone to a stunning victory. Munakata naturally can’t help but praise his men effusively for their skill and ability, while also possibly taking multiple digs at the barbarian louts of Homra, especially their King who surfs as if the board is a stiff mattress — Munakata barely gets the words out of his mouth before he’s just scooped up by Mikoto bridal-style. Munakata’s all huffing like Suoh unhand me while Mikoto just grins, wondering if Munakata has a problem. Munakata states that he did not ask to be manhandled and Mikoto’s like no, I’m pretty sure you were asking for it as he promptly tosses Munakata into the ocean.

That breaks the dam and the rest of the Homra guys figure they should follow their King, Yata is positively giddy as he grabs Fushimi. Fushimi is not happy about Yata grabbing him for once, he was planning to hide under the shade all trip and he is not interested in being tossed into the cold water with all the stinky germy fish. Yata’s like well if that’s the case you shouldn’t be so skinny that I can pick you up with one hand. Yata hopes Fushimi enjoys a soaking, Fushimi is like you wouldn’t dare. Yata grins and throws Fushimi into the water. Akiyama’s already been tossed by Akagi and attempts to help by catching Fushimi, except this leads to them both falling backward into the water with Fushimi pressed against Akiyama’s chest (Yata suddenly wishes he’d thrown Fushimi the other direction). Kusanagi grins at Awashima and she just looks coolly back, he lowers his arms and apologizes for ‘the boys’ being so rowdy. Awashima says she supposes this is a good way for them to blow off steam, all things considered. Kusanagi wonders if she would like to join her clan then, only to find himself hoisted over Awashima’s shoulder and thrown right into the water.

[puella-peanut]

I wish you would write Daniel flirting with some other guy while Terry is jealous and trying to get his attention. They're not together yet so Terry really has no claim and they're in public so he's trying to remain socially acceptable lmao. Daniel being oblivious or not is up to you

Oh my god, I love this. Terry trying to remain socially acceptable, Daniel being oblivious to the effect he has on people men. Some real potential for comedy here folks. And let Terry get his comeuppance for once, hehe. Here are some thoughts...

—Terry has always been a planner, always has something up his tailored sleeve. Which is why he’s at a total loss for how badly his plan for the afternoon has gone awry. He’d intended to sweep Danny off his little feet at this fancy afternoon garden party he’d cordially invited the boy to—to give the poor darling a taste of the finer things in life, and of course to show what he, Terry, would be giving him when he made things official (because of course Daniel is his already, he just doesn’t know it yet).

—But, well...maybe it had been a mistake to buy Daniel that gauzy, see-through summer shirt, and those matching slim-cut trousers (in full white to set off that delicious tan skin), and have him parade about the garden, growing more sun-kissed and lovely by the hour. The boy is turning heads with a vengeance which is one thing (and Terry does so love to show off what is his)...but the problem remains that these upper class louts don’t know that Daniel is his. (Neither does Danny-boy.) Fuck.

—And really, this is stoking Terry’s ego to see how everyone desires his boy, but also—he’s pretty much done nothing but swat these men away from Daniel since they’ve arrived. Just like keeping a swarm of bees from an especially attractive flower. Whoever knew taking the boy out would be such a job and a half? Terry’s not had such an exhausting time in a while—he’s had multi-million business deals less stressful!

—And well Christ on a stick just what he needs—here comes the buffoon of the hour, Spencer James-Edgar Lovejoy-Phillips the Fifth with his idiotic name, too many hyphens, his Swiss Bank Account(s), hideous love of pinstriped suits, and—

—...Apparently an interest in Daniel that runs deeper than just lust. (!!!) Terry’s gaze sharpens, he immediately shifts so his body is as close to Daniel’s as possible without having an arm around him. If only, but that might scare him off, skittish thing that he is. Anyhoo, Terry sends Spencer an ice cold smile as he sips his 5000 year old wine—all while fantasizing about Spencer’s (slow and painful) demise. 

—Meanwhile, Danny innocently prattles on, and clumsily flirts (and it would be so utterly adorable if Terry had been on the receiving end!)—but Spencer looks too damn charmed for his own good, and so smug that the boy is clearly interested (un-fucking-believable!!) in him. Terry silently fumes and wonders if he should round kick him into the bubbling fountain nearby. Maybe he can pass it off as an accident? Man accidentally dies after falling into garden-fountain and snapping his neck: he can taste the headlines now. He shoves a fist into his pocket. This is not happening. (Except that it is.)

—...Terry can’t believe the thought crosses his mind as Daniel and Spencer chit-chat, but, does Daniel have a thing for blonds? Sure, Spencer is tall (though not nearly as tall as Terry, hah), with golden-blond hair (so what?), grey-eyed (Terry preferred his own blue), broad-shouldered and fit (nothing on Terry though). He’s so jealous that even though he’s grasping at straws at this point he’ll do anything to soothe his ruffled feathers. 

—And FOR FUCKS SAKE did Spencer just brush Daniel’s arm? And did Danny lean into it a bit?! 

—Anyway, Terry breaks his wine glass since he’s holding it so tightly. What a pity it isn’t Spencer’s neck. (At least Danny is concerned that he hasn’t cut himself too badly. Take that, you blond fuck.)

—Terry gets his boy to bandage up his hand (so the party isn’t a total loss). And Danny does fuss over him in the privacy of a secluded gazebo, wondering innocently if Terry has heatstroke, or maybe it was the wine? The moment is sweet, and Daniel looks like a wood-nymph in the afternoon sun. If only Spencer were here to stew in jealousy, it would be perfect. Heh.

—Somehow the afternoon ends with Spencer falling into the garden fountain, spraining his arm badly. The guests wonder what happened, and Terry just shrugs. He was probably tipsy, the Lovejoy-Phillips family could never hold their liquor, could they? Terry just soothes Daniel, anxious thing, while Spencer departs to nurse his wounds. Terry just grins as he leads Daniel away--no one even noticed his scuffed shoe, did they?

—In the car, Daniel can't stop babbling about what a good time he had, and how kind (the men) had been to him. His obliviousness is totally adorable, and Terry's jealousy is soothed. Until he says that Spencer did give him a private number, and told Daniel to "expect a call" later on that week. 

—It's a good thing there's a driver, because Terry would have dissolved into road-rage by now. 

—When night comes, Terry has one hell of a migraine, as his pale-Irish ass has been deeply fried by the sun. He had assumed that he might be leaving with something along those lines—but a rival?! For Danny’s heart?! Unacceptable. He’s going to destroy Spencer. In fact, he’s going to start planning his demise tonight. Just as soon as he gets an icepack and some fucking aloe vera first. Damn it. 

[sixpillarsofgenesis]

Soooooo I was wondering. How do you come up with your titles for your fanfics? Especially the ones in "In infinite Stars" ?

So this is a decently involved answer, and I'm not sure how to start with it.

For Fanfic Titles? I generally have a go-to list of songs, quotes, or theories that I tend to go for. For less serious works, I just take things like game mechanics or inspiration from a character. Take In Infinite Stars. I used the fic title from a line of either a song or a book that I really enjoyed. "I find it wonderful, that despite the infinite stars and thousands of places you could be, we met each other anyway." It's not the exact quote, but close enough that I decided to save it in my brain.

Let's use another Fic Title Example - Phoenix-VII. This title was based off of the number of battlesuits Fu Hua had at the time this fic was written, and the story was also based around Fu Hua's weapons Fenghuang Down and Oblivion Down (which are Phantylia's lotus weapon/enemy thingies)

And last Fic Title Example using HSR in specific - Echo of Memory. In this case, I was using just the idea of an 'echo' to be synonymous with a large, empty space - A room, or in Caelus' case, his lack of memories thanks to Kafka, which helped set the tone.

Now, for regular chapter titles? I don't normally have a solid theme. For In Infinite Stars, I chose to use colors because more fool me, I didn't think the fic would be that long, twenty chapters at most. I could come up with twenty chapters with a different yellow-color association, right? (and here I am, almost a hundred chapters later jfc me)

For another long fic such as my Xenoblade Chronicles 3 fic - Action over Words I based it off in-game references, and things like what I planned - roughly - to go for. I had the quest ideas planned well before I actually ever got to them, because that fic focuses a lot on the overall in game mechanics style feeling.

And for my last example, for Lout of Count's Family The Birth of a Villain I used the Fall Out Boy philosophy. Mostly because the association was funny, but it also gives a certain tone to the fic that helps make it more in line with the overall story.

[fantomcomics]

What’s Out This Week? 7/5

We hope everyone has a safe and fun holiday weekend!

Batman: 5 Scary Stories For A Dark Knight HC - Matthew Cody & Jeannette Arroyo

Batman is back with five more ghostly adventures filled with thrills and chills in this all-new illustrated collection of spooky tales from the dark corners of Gotham City! Gotham City, the home of Batman, is filled with long shadows, sinister characters, and mysterious goings on. This hardcover illustrated chapter book is a collection of scary short stories featuring some of Batman's strangest adventures that end with wild twist and turns-some funny, some spooky, and some maddeningly frightening! 

A Boy Named Rose TP -  Gaelle Geniller

Paris. The 1920s. Rose is a boy and, like all the girls he's spent time with since he was born, he wants to dance at "Le Jardin", the cabaret managed by his mother. As Rose blossoms into a 19 year old young man, he discovers love and tries to find his place in a society that's not ready to welcome true love between two men with open arms.

Created and beautifully drawn by Gaelle Geniller, A BOY NAMED ROSE is going to make you fall in love with this story, set in Art Deco Paris and where a young man discovers who he really is in a place filled with entertainme nt and drama. What is Rose's place in the world? Is he just a boy? Is he a girl inside? Rose just wants to be accepted for who he really is and live, love and dance as free as he can be. A beautiful LGBTQIA+ tale from a time where loving differently was a challenge, A BOY NAMED ROSE will move you, in all its subtleness and tenderness.

All Against All TP -  Alex Paknadel & Caspar Wijngaard

In the distant future, a race of disembodied alien conquerors called the Operators moves from world to world, harvesting promising species for their most impressive physical traits. Their quest for ever-more-effective host bodies leads them to a forgotten research station, where animal specimens from a dead Earth, along with a small human boy named Helpless, have been collected and preserved in a savage artificial jungle environment. But as the Operators descend on the research station in search of an apex predator to harvest, they'll find more than they bargained for when they learn that Helpless is anything but!

Ancient Enemies: The Greater Good #1 -  Dan DiDio, Jim Calafiore & Danilo Beyrouth

Out of the pages ANCIENT ENEMIES, learn the origin of THE GREATER GOOD, as Morrigan strikes an uneasy pact with the leader of the Zaiyan Race pushing humanity closer to choosing sides in the alien struggle.  Only a mystery from Morrigan's past can undue everything she's planned.  

Doctor Who: Doom’s Day #1 (of 2) -  Jodie Houser, Roberta Ingranata & Pasquale Qualano

24 HOURS TO FIND THE DOCTOR! DOOM! This lonely assassin from the 51st Century is hunting for her survival, and there's only one person who can save her: the Doctor. Using her vortex manipulator, she'll do anything to find the tempestuous time traveler, including cavorting with the maleficent Missy. Every hour a new adventure, every hour closer to death...

Gore GN -  Verity Holloway & Ivo De Jager

Beryl Gore is a lonely orphan living and working at the Palace Theater in London. Night after night, the company performs tales of guts and glory to an audience of drunken louts while young Beryl cranks the artificial wave machine, entranced by the drama. The plays color Beryl's otherwise humdrum life amongst the slaughterhouses and cobbled alleys of the city. In her attic room, she pens her own melodrama, a bloody yarn of pirates and damsels where goodness is always rewarded. When Beryl shyly shows her work to Mister Perry, the Theater Manager, he shoos the child away. As Beryl enters adulthood, the theater ages with her, becoming shabbier and emptier with each passing season. As theater-goers turn to fresh spectacles elsewhere, Beryl realizes her theatrical world is in trouble. If the Palace is to be saved, it will need a bold new playwright.

Gun Honey: Heatseeker #1 (of 4) - Charles Ardai, Ace Continuado & Artgerm

IF THE HEAT IS ON, DAHLIA RACERS CAN HELP YOU DISAPPEAR - FOR A PRICE. Marked for death by a U.S. intelligence agency, Gun Honey Joanna Tan turns to Dahlia Racers to help her pull a vanishing act. But the killer hot on her trail, beautiful sociopath Sarah Claride, will leave bodies strewn from New York to Las Vegas to Tijuana, Mexico, if it means cornering Dahlia - and breaking her...

Henshin Vol 1 GN -  Bon Idle

Becoming a superhero isn't easy! Alex must balance becoming a superhero tasked with defeating Kaiju, making it as a journalism student, and navigating life as a gay man in modern Europe. Nine years after a mysterious ecological disaster, journalism students Alex and Rosalia investigate the strange company that rebuilt their city and turned it into a vision of the future-that is, until Alex's world is turned upside down by a chance encounter with a gigantic monster from another world, a Kaiju, and the mysterious masked hero fighting it! Inheriting the masked hero's power, Alex must now take on these powerful Kaiju when he transforms into the hero Blaze. Alex never imagined his cozy college life becoming deadly, but that's just what happens as his battles uncover an unholy connection between his city, the most powerful company in Europe, and the Kaiju. Can he uncover the secret before it's too late?

Like A Butterfly GN Vol 1 -  Suu Morishita

After Kawasumi rescues her from an unwelcome admirer, Suiren finds herself captivated by him. However, Suiren is too shy to speak to anyone, much less this reserved karate boy. What's more, Suiren isn't the only one interested in Kawasumi. Will a class trip offer the opportunity to reveal her feelings before it's too late?

Magic The Gathering: Soul & Stone HC -  Seanan McGuire, Kath Lobo & Jung-Geun Yoon

In this deluxe hardcover collection, experience two standalone tales each spotlighting a beloved Magic: The Gathering character. First, delve into Ajani Goldmane's past adventures and uncover stunning surprises, including what happened when the steadfast, valiant protector faced threats beyond his capabilities! Meanwhile, Nahiri has protected her home plane of Zendikar for centuries, her ruthlessness and power kept in check by a strong sense of justice. But a new challenge awaits that may change the way the Multiverse perceives her...

Night Of The Ghoul TP -  Scott Snyder & Francesco Francavilla

A dazzling work of horror, intercutting between the present-day narrative and the story of a lost horror film.

Filmmaker T.F. Merrit has spent decades confined in a retirement facility, which he claims is ran by the Order of the Fly, a cult organization from his very own movie. And as the night goes on, Forest Inmann and his son Orson find themselves falling deeper into his cinematic nightmare.

Pathfinder: Wake The Dead #1 -  Fred Van Lente, Eman Casallos & Steve Ellis

New creative team! New party of Iconics! New lands of Golarion to explore! The tantalizing prospect of a rendezvous with a Geb defector in possession of priceless secrets from that undead nation brings a diverse group of adventurers to the Nexian metropolis of Ecanus. When they find themselves cornered by the city's remorseless Deathsealers, can the Iconics band together for survivalescape a city full of hostile wizards alive?

Featuring playable character stats for Seelah, the iconic paladin, and new character options for inhabitants of the magical military city of Ecanus; officially sanctioned by the Pathfinder Society!

Pink Lemonade TP  -  Nick Cagnetti & Don Simpson 

Mysterious past! Colorful costume! Altruistic outlook! Zippy motorcycle! And one very overactive imagination! Meet PINK LEMONADE-the new hero on the scene! She dreams of doing big things, but ultimately, she'll settle for just helping where she can. But when Pink Lemonade accidentally crashes into the set of the next Rex Radical blockbuster, she'll take an unexpected leap into the spotlight...and will soon find herself confronted by a series of increasingly threatening doppelgängers, extraterrestrial fanboys, and nefarious corporate machinations.

Swan Songs #1 -  W. Maxwell Prince & Martin Simmonds

SWAN SONGS comprises stories about endings...The End of the World. The End of a Marriage. The End of a Sentence. The End of the End of the World!  (Which I suppose one might consider the BEGINNING of a new world...) And along for the terminal ride are some of comics' best and brightest artists! The first apocalyptic issue, "The End of the World," is drawn by none other than THE DEPARTMENT OF TRUTH's MARTIN SIMMONDS.  Future artists for future endings include CASPAR WIJNGAARD (HOME SICK PILOTS), and FILIPE ANDRADE (The Many Deaths of Leila Star), with more to be announced. All things come to a close; these are the SWAN SONGS.

The Pink Elephant #1 (of 3) - E&E Plissken & Benson Chin

From the writers of Heavy Metal Drummer, The Purple Oblivion, and The Firstborns comes this 80s slasher, lysergic, weird, indie, lynch-esque story. A group of teens on a road trip meet a creepy old woman at a gas station. A brief back and forth conversation with her leads to a night of acid trips, teen hijinks, and a giant killer with an elephant head. Things are about to get weird.

Untold Tales Of I Hate Fairyland #1 (of 5) -  Skottie Young, Dean Rankine, Aaron Conley & Mike Del Mundo

A five-issue anthology series featuring Untold Tales based on Eisner Award-winning writer  SKOTTIE YOUNG's bestselling comic, I HATE FAIRYLAND, with stories written and drawn by a stellar lineup of creators. BULLY WARS co-creators SKOTTIE YOUNG and AARON CONLEY pit Gert against an uncouth barbarian in "Bruud the Brutal." And in "Don't Trust the P.I.G. in Apartment 23," by DEAN RANKINE (Simpsons Comics, Invader Zim), Gert finds herself at the wrong end of a classic fairy tale.

UTOWN GN -  Caroline Breault

Utown is the story of a seedy neighborhood that a cast of misfits call home. Samuel is a twenty-four-year-old self-described aspiring artist (but mostly a video store clerk) who's doing his best to avoid adulthood. When gentrification shows up at his doorstep, he must face the fact that the town he grew up in is no longer his safe haven-and that he's not ready to leave just yet. With no money and few options, it's time for him to step up and prove his worth as a serious artist or keep on repeating old, toxic behaviors.

Weird Work #1 (of 4) - Jordan Thomas & Shaky Kane   The hard-boiled noir of LA Confidential mixes with the bright, alien-filled worlds of Futurama in this crime epic. Following months of gang shootings, Detective Ovra Sawce is paired with a new partner on a triple homicide. But what were a billionaire's assistant, a hood-turned-cult leader and Sawce's former partner doing in that warehouse?

Whatcha snagging this week, Fantom Fam?

[kumomist]

yeah some of these tags are only used once or with crossovers. probably not 100% accurate

#animorphs

#avatar: the last airbender

#big hero 6

#baymax!

#blue lock

#boku no hero academia

#bokura no kiseki

#chainsaw man

#columbo

#danganronpa

#danny phantom

#dcmk

#dcu

#the batman

#death note

#deltarune

#discworld

#doctor who

#dracula daily

#dungeons and daddies

#final fantasy

#fire punch

#fullmetal alchemist

#game of thrones

#genshin impact

#gintama

#good omens

#goncharov

#john mastodon

#gravity falls

#haikyuu!!

#harry potter

#jkr

#honkai star rail

#how to train your dragon

#hunter x hunter

#ib

#id:invaded

#jujutsu kaisen

#katekyo hitman reborn

#knives out

#glass onion

#koutetsujou no kabaneri

#kung fu panda

#legend of zelda

#leverage

#link click

#little nightmares

#lord of heroes

#lord of the rings

#lout of the count’s family

#lycoris recoil

#malevolent

#marvel

#spiderman

#spiderverse

#megamind

#merlin

#mob psycho 100

#mythology

#naruto

#natsume yuujinchou

#nimona

#noragami

#one piece

#one punch man

#orv

#our flag means death

#ousama ranking

#over the garden wall

#paranorman

#pathologic

#persona series

#percy jackson

#pokemon

#pokemon mystery dungepn

#submas

#portal

#prehistoric planet

#princess bride

#puella magi madoka magica

#puss in boots

#saiki

#scissor seven

#scooby doo

#scp foundation

#sherlock holmes

#sonny boy

#splatoon

#spy x family

#star trek

#star wars

#stranger things

#stray

#the addams family

#the ember knight

#the magnus archives

#the murderbot diaries

#the sandman

#the scum villain’s self saving system

#the umbrella academy

#tokyo mew mew

#transistor

#trigun

#umineko

#undertale

#vocaloid

#what football will look like in the future

#wild kratts

#willy wonka

#witch hat atellier

#world trigger

#yakuza

#yugioh

[am-i-losing-myself]

like fall lout boy is so good and i already knoew this but wtf GO patrik go

[stonewallsposts]

Is it really impossible to be a woman? 

Well, not literally, of course, since half the world's population does it every day, but I think America Ferrera's monologue is really addressing what many see as contradictory and unrealistic standards for women. 

There are two general complaints: 1) contradictory standards and 2) unrealistic standards. 

The real issue I see is what she says in the penultimate sentence: I'm so tired of watching [women] tie themselves into knots so people will like us. 

Contradictory standards 

Let's imagine I wear a pink shirt to work. One friend says: Hey, that shirt looks great. A second friend says, Pink is a girl's color, you shouldn't be wearing that. I might deduce that it's just impossible to be a man because I'm getting contradictory standards! But the issue isn't that it's impossible to be a man, it's that it's impossible to please everyone because different people have different standards. These aren't even contradictory standards, they are just different standards: the distinction being that different people hold them. At the risk of sounding pedantic, if person A holds two different standards- X and not-X, then that person is holding contradictory standards. If person A holds the standard of X, and person B holds the standard of not-X, then those aren't contradictory standards, they are just different standards held by different people.  

So when some of the complaints in the monologue are contradictory, the character complains that it's just impossible. Well, yeah, it's impossible to please everyone, but then... so what? 

There's an ancient fable collected by Aesop about a man, a boy, and a donkey.  

"A man and his son were once going with their donkey to market. As they were walking along by his side a countryman passed them and said, "You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?" So the man put the boy on the donkey, and they went on their way.  But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said, "See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides."  So the man ordered his boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other, "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along."  Well, the man didn't know what to do, but at last he took his boy up before him on the donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passersby began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at.  The men said, "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours -- you and your hulking son?"  The man and boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, until at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey's feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them until they came to a bridge, when the donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the donkey fell over the bridge, and his forefeet being tied together, he was drowned." 

The moral of the story is that people are going to complain no matter what. It's not a woman problem, it's a human problem. The standards will be contradictory if you listen to everyone.

The only way you can perhaps get to this being 'contradictory' is if you use a reification trick, as in saying something like "society" holds contradictory standards for women. But of course 'society' isn't a person, or even a thing with its own agency, it is merely the collection of different individuals that make up the whole, which we call society.

Unrealistic standards 

Some of the standards quoted in the monologue would fall in the category of "the ideal". There are people out there who meet the ideal, or pretty close to it. But most of us... nah. I think of the male ideal of 6 foot, 6 figures, and 6 pack. I'm capped out at 5'9", and I'll never make 6 figures. I used to have a 6 pack so... one outta three ain't bad I guess... but hey, that's an ideal. I don't worry about being an ideal, and I don't generally worry about anyone else not being the ideal. Every once in a while I run across someone who is pretty close. Years ago I had a shoulder surgery, and the doctor was like 6'1", younger, blonde, great looking, super nice and personable too... and I just thought- lucky bastard! But I don't hold any grudge, or feel like I'm not measuring up to him. Yeah, I'm well aware that 99% of women would pick him in a choice between me and him, but that's the breaks. I could also measure myself against some others and pretty confidently believe that 99% of the women would pick me. So what? That's not the way life works.  I suppose the closer someone is to the ideal, the more attractive they are in a general sense, but attraction works in mysterious ways and most of us end up meeting and falling in love with people who aren't the ideal.  

So sure, the ideals for women are unattainable for most. Just as the ideals for men are unattainable for most too. Because ideals are... ideals... if they were easily attainable, they wouldn't be ideals anymore by the simple fact of their being so commonplace.  

Again, the issue seems to be that women, as a group, seem to feel their non-idealness much more. Guys think... whatever. If anyone thinks YOU ought to be closer to the ideal than THEY think YOU are, that's on them, and their opinion can be considered like a butthole: everyone has one, and they usually stink. 

I can imagine the pushback on this would be: whatever unrealistic standards are put on men, it's amplified 10x for women. I would probably grant this point, but I'd grant it as a consequence of the fact that women take the criticism more to heart than men. Advertisers can prey on women much more effectively than they can on men in these areas, so they do. They suggest you aren't 'up to par' if you aren't using some product. And women are likely more susceptible to that. I don't want to make it seem like men are perfectly balanced counterpoints to women- we are even bigger idiots... just in other ways.  

Women, in general, are more likely to take personal complaints to heart than men, and that can lead to men, finding they have an effective, even if rotten, way of motivating women, to utilize this.  

Perhaps this is the feminist response- to try and convince women not to give in to this. And like many tactical approaches, you turn it up to 11, knowing that the compromise will result somewhere in the middle. I don't really know what the answers are to these questions, but in thinking about this, these are some of my thoughts. Take them or leave them... I don't care... cause I'm a guy.