#fat blunts for santa

[hailieshapedbox]

tis the season✨💫

to smoke fat blunts

[chocolatechubby]

Maybe it was the glass of heavy cream and dozen gingerbread men I ate just before bedtime. Or maybe it was the fact that it was Christmas Eve, and the residue of waiting up for Santa Claus hadn’t diminished in the 23 years since I was six years old. Maybe it was the hard on that wouldn’t go away if I thought about growing fat and round. Whatever it was, I couldn’t sleep. I reluctantly pulled my bloated body from my warm bed to take a piss and a crap in the bathroom. On the way to the john, I passed the Christmas tree in the living room. The shiny packages underneath danced with the reflections of twinkling lights. I’d made quite a haul this year. I was pretty sure the small neatly wrapped package in the front was an Ipod from my mom. And I was pretty sure that the envelope from my ex-partner was a membership to a gym. My gaining sixty pounds had a lot to do with our break-up. It was nice that we were still friends. “Funny…” I thought. “The thing I REALLY want Santa to bring me won’t fit under a tree.”

When I had finished in the bathroom, I took a long look at myself in the mirror. The 160lb gym rat was gone. There in front of me was a 220lb jock-gone-soft. Since I had continued to go to the gym, I was thick and solid. The roundness of my face was beginning to cut away my cheek definition. The beginnings of a double chin made my cock jump. The definition in my arms was beginning to fade: I loved putting on sleeveless shirts and seeing the thick round guns that were once defined biceps and triceps stretching through. My legs were growing huge. The size 38 pants were straining to keep my thighs in. And I had a real belly. Not the beginning gut I was so proud of in college, but a thick waist protruding over my jeans and a noticeable round mound that jutted out from my plump tits and curved forward six inches. It had gotten a number of rubs and stares from my co-workers over the past few weeks. I thought my pecker was going to fall off from all the jerking off I did in the office restrooms after each “Woah! When’s the baby due?” or “You’d better lay off the holiday food Chris!” But it wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted to look like all of those fellas that I admired online. I wanted people to move out of the way when I walked down the street. I wanted to look in the mirror and be awed by my girth. I reached down in my shorts and began massaging my cock. I imagined what it would be like to have to work pass mounds of belly fat just to touch it. I could feel my hard on growing, and my dick was responding to both my touch and my fantasy. It wouldn’t be long now—at least not for the explosion from my balls. The weight gain would take more time.

As I was going for climax, I heard a sound. Not from me but coming from the living room. At first faint, it grew louder—a slow and steady rise and fall. A snore? It sounded like someone snoring. Maybe somehow the air conditioner had turned itself on. I listened a little more intently. No, this was a HUMAN sound. Someone had broken into my apartment! I pulled up my shorts, looked around for a blunt object, grabbed the toilet brush, and headed towards the sound. As I rounded the corner, I was not prepared for what I saw. There in my leather armchair next to the Christmas tree, snoring to high heaven was Santa Claus.

Only it wasn’t Santa Claus. I mean he was dressed in a beautiful red suit—far superior to all those costumed Santas that you see in department stores. This suit looked like it had been tailored for him: luxurious and warm—trimmed in ermine and leather. It fit his big round frame to a “t.” He had to weigh 350, if a pound, and his thick beard was close-cropped, neatly trimmed, and a deep auburn like the wavy hair that curled from under his fur cap. This guy couldn’t have been more than thirty-five years old. And he was gorgeous. During my whole relationship with my ex, Zach, I had never cheated. But I will admit—especially towards the end when he started nagging more about the weight—I had serious fantasies about dudes like the one asleep in my easy chair, but they never included being robbed by them.

Next to him on the floor was a big, empty red velvet sack. I had to admit: this guy had class. I’d read stories in the newspaper about thieves breaking into houses dressed as Santa Claus and taking people’s presents. I never thought it would happen to me. Pictures of the Grinch stuffing Cindy Lou Who’s Christmas tree in his sack crowded my brain. Well this sucker wasn’t getting MY Ipod without a fight!

I tiptoed over to where the hot thief was snoring, and I kicked his engineer boot and stepped back—toilet bowl brush held high. “Hey you!” I shouted. The guy stirred. I gave him my best grimace and said: “What the hell do you think you’re doing in my place?!” He opened one eye and peered up at my brush and me. He grinned (and of course he had a killer smile) and said, “What are you going to do? Tidy Bowl me to death?”

I wasn’t quite ready for such a laid-back attitude. It took me aback for a moment. “No, smart ass…” I answered finally. “… I’m going to call the police and have you hauled off to spend Christmas in jail—that’s what I’m going to do!!!” I bellowed triumphantly. “Oh, and for future reference: Santa has a WHITE beard—not red! You are NO Kris Kringle.”

“Actually, his beard isn’t white. It’s silver. And you’re right…I’m not Kris Kringle. He’s my dad. I’m KARL Kringle—his youngest son.”

Of all the responses in all the scenarios that I could imagine, not one of them included that particular statement. I stood in shock with my mouth open. He fumbled around for a bit and spoke: “This is what I get for breaking the first rule of Christmas Delivery: Don’t Fall Asleep. It’s just that it’s been a long night and seeing as this is my Last Stop and all, I couldn’t help myself.” He yawned and started hauling his big belly out of my chair “Look, don’t set off your loaded brush—I’m just looking for my wallet.” He was even more appealing standing. He was a fireplug: about my height (which made him somewhat short), he reminded me of Sean Astin as Samwise Gamgee in “The Lord of the Rings”: much bigger, but as cute as he could be. He patted himself down, searching around his big gut and barrel chest for a bulge. “Ahh, here it is!” He pulled out a simple leather wallet and flipped it open. “See.” He said.

I slowly inched forward and took the wallet out of his chubby hand. There he was, smiling with rosy cheeks. NORTH POLE DMV: Driver’s Permit was printed in white at the top of a red and green card. “May operate cars, trucks, motorcycles, snow skis and High-Capacity Sleighs” was prominently placed in the lower right hand corner.

“Real cute” I smirked. “So you’re a clever bandit. I’m sure your cell mate will get a real kick out of your sense of humor.”

“Man, some things don’t change, do they?” He smiled. “You’re still a closet believer posing as a skeptic aren’t you? I remember when you were six years old and wanted ‘Dream Date Ken’. You said to yourself, ‘I’ll believe in Santa if he brings me Ken.’ When you didn’t see it under the tree that Christmas morning, you were really sad, but you said, ‘I knew he wasn’t real.’ Boy were you surprised when you found it…”

“Hidden in your stocking!”

“Hidden in my stocking!”

We said it at the exact same time. My mouth was agape. “How did you know that?” I uttered. “Because I asked Dad if I could put it there.” Karl said. “I was twelve. Dad had been training me to take a route of my own. I had been coming with him since you were a baby—watching you grow up. I wanted you to work harder to trust your beliefs.”

I stumbled to my couch and sat down. This was incredible! So it was true: Santa really DID exist. “Yup.” Karl said, as if he’d read my mind. “Only the doubters have got part of the story right: he DOESN’T circle the world and deliver toys in one night. He hasn’t done that in a few hundred years. He has help from his sons.”

“Sons” I gasped, with emphasis on the “s.” “You mean there’s more of you?”

“Oh yeah” said Karl. “It's the family business. There’s Kris Jr., Kevin, Kurt, Klaus, Kyle, Keith, and Kwame.”

“Kwame?” I asked.

“Yeah, a little incident with dad and an African Queen a few years back…we don’t talk about that.” He whispered.

“So we divide up the earth and each take a chunk. Dad spends most of his time these days with the kids that need him most. He took India and New Orleans this year.”

“I see…” I said. “And you got my area.”

“Well, not so much GOT, as CHOSE your area. I told you. I’ve been watching you for many years. I’ve been waiting for that jerk of a boyfriend of yours to exit the picture. I’ve been crushing on you for a while now. I happen to be gay.”

“Oh.” My dick was jumping at regular intervals now. “Are all of you uh…?”

“Gay?” He said. “I doubt it. Nobody’s talking so we don’t really know. I’m pretty sure Kwame is. He keeps picking San Francisco as one of his stops. Listen, do you mind if I make myself comfortable?” he asked. “Uh…no.” I stammered, still trying to make sense of the fact that I had a big, bearded Santa Claus in my living room that was hot for me. “Great” he said and proceeded to undo his belt and buttons. His velvet coat fell to the floor, revealing the magnificent fat physique bulging from his white undershirt. His big, gorgeous arms were covered with a layer of soft red fur, and I could see tendrils of the same curling from under the neckline of his t. He began playing with his nipples as he slowly moved his ball belly towards me. “Listen,” he said again. “…do you mind if I make YOU more comfortable?”

“Uh…no.” was my startled reply.

We stood face to face. The heat between us was more intense than anything I’d ever felt before. He smelled of smoldering fires and apples and cinnamon. He leaned in, and I felt his cock. “So THAT’S what’s meant by Christmas Sausage! “I thought. He pulled me into him and whispered, “I’ve been waiting 29 years for this” and moved his tongue over my lips and into my mouth. He tasted like warm cocoa. His belly met mine and I moaned at the solid thickness of his girth. Our tongues swirled together in a hot dance that left me weak and energized at the same time. I could have stayed like that forever.

Karl ran his thick hands over my nipples, slightly squeezing them between his fingers. He slowly traveled down to my belly and began massaging it with both hands. I was in heaven. “Such a beautiful starter belly. I was so hot for you when you started putting on weight that I had to stop working in the toyshop—couldn’t concentrate. Kept making Barbie dolls with penises!”

“Oh.” I mumbled—trying to get his tongue back in my mouth.

“And now I’m with you” he said, caressing my cheek. “And we’ve got all night. He leaned over and kissed my gut. “I’m going to give you that present that won’t fit under the tree.”

For a moment I was stirred from my reverie. Had he really the power to know what my deepest desires were? I tested him. “Oh yes? “I whispered in his ear. “What might that be.”

“Don’t be coy Chris” he smiled. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. By dawn, you will be fed, fucked, and fat as a house. Are you ready to get started?”

TO BE CONTINUED

[topsytervy]

Santa Looks Familiar

So, I thought of this while on my drive home yesterday from work. I decided it was finally time to listen to Christmas music willingly and so I put on my playlist, appropriately named tis the season bitches, and I forgot I had Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy (Travis Tritt version courtesy of my mother) on it and this came to be.

I just couldn't think of who I wanted it to be so I made it as vague as possible so you can imagine whoever you wanted it to be. Sports player, video game character, movie character, whoever. I'm just going to add some tags so this can make it's rounds.

Happy Holidays folks.

synopsis: your daughter notices that Santa looks kind of familiar. Almost kind of like daddy?

warnings: none except probably grammar/spelling, and one mention of beer

word count: 1,075

~~~

“Asher, wake up, wake up.” The young boy groaned, flipping onto his side as he pulled the blanket up higher. “Asher, come on. Santa’s here.” 

Asher’s eyes shot open as he sat up, “really?” He asked his older sister and she nodded, putting a finger to her lips. 

“We gotta be really quiet though.” She whispered before motioning for her little brother to follow her.  

The two of them creeped out of the bedroom and into the hallway, keeping low as the peeked through the banister, looking down into the living room as the man in the red suit put the last of the gifts under the tree, standing up afterwards. 

“That’s the last of them,” the siblings heard him say and Lily furrowed her eyebrows. 

The voice sounded familiar to her, but she shook her head. 

How many times had she thought she heard their mother’s voice, but it turned out to be a complete stranger? 

“Look, Lily. He’s going for the cookies.” Asher nudged her and she watched as he reached over, snagging a couple of the cookies, taking a bite of one. 

“And what do you think you’re doing?” 

The two trained their eyes on their mother who was walking over to Santa before stopping in front of him, hands on her hip. 

“Santa tax,” he shrugged before holding a cookie out to her, “you really outdid yourself on these. They’re amazing. Here, open up.”  

Their mother rolled her eyes before opening her mouth, the kids' eyes widening as Santa popped the cookie into her mouth before his arms snaked around her waist pulling her close. 

“Uh oh. He better be careful or daddy’s going to beat him up,” Asher whispered to Lily and Lily squinted at the two. 

She watched the two adults for another minute before grabbing her little brother's arm. 

“Come on. Let's go before they catch us.” She whispered, softly tugging him back to his bedroom.  

She tucked Asher back into bed, saying good night before shutting the door until it was only open a crack. 

She glanced between her room and the stairs before heading towards the stairs, going down them as quietly as she could. 

She didn’t see her mother, but she did see Santa, his back turned to her as he drank the milk. 

The little girl cleared her throat and the man in the red suit froze, swallowing the milk in his mouth before turning towards her. 

“Well, if it isn’t miss Lily. What are you doing up and out of bed?” he questioned before leaning down, dropping his voice to a whisper, “you know, I take away presents from kids who aren’t in bed when I come right?” 

Lily stared into his eyes, the eyes that seemed oh so familiar with the same twinkle and color. 

“Daddy, is that you?”  

Santa raised an eyebrow, “now why would you think I’m your father?” 

“Well, you sound like him, and your eyes are the same,” she started. 

“A lot of people share the same eyes and voice as your dad.” He shrugged and she cocked her head. 

“And you’re not fat.” Lily was blunt with her words. 

“That’s not a very nice thing to say, Lily May.”  

“And you know my middle name. No one knows my middle name except mom and dad.” She stated matter-of-factly and he narrowed his eyes. 

“I’m Santa. I know everyone’s middle name. I know your middle name and Asher’s. I even know your parents' middle names.” 

“If you’re not dad, then why did you hug mom?” 

Santa waited a second before responding, “because all your dad wanted for Christmas was for your mom to make sure she was very loved and in order for that to happen, I had to hug her very tight so she could feel the love from you guys.”  

Lily blinked at him, “really?” 

Santa nodded, “yep. There’s no way to wrap love up and just hand it to someone. You have to give it to them through hugs.” 

“Oh,” Lily said, her eyes casting downwards before she turned them back towards Santa, “I’m sorry for getting out of bed and eavesdropping but between us,” she leaned in close, “my dad would’ve hurt you if he saw you hugging mom like that. He’s very protective of his family so I was just looking out for you.” She whispered. 

“Ah I see,” he smiled before reaching behind him and grabbing a cookie from the plate, handing it to her, “well, since you were looking out for me, I think I can overlook yoy being out of bed this one time.” He told her with a wink, and she grinned, nodding her head as she took the cookie from him and turned back towards the stairs. 

“Merry Christmas Santa.” She told him before heading back to her bedroom.  

“Merry Christmas Lily.” 

** 

Your eyes moved from your book to your husband as he came into the bedroom, removing the fake beard and hat.  

“Did you enjoy your milk, Santa?” You teased and he shrugged. 

“It was aright but between the two of us, I’m more of a beer guy.” He grinned before beginning to get changed from the costume to his pajamas and you bookmarked your page, setting the book on your bight stand. 

“What took you so long anyway honey?” 

He took a breath and looked over at you. “A very close call with Lil.” 

Your eyes widened. “Oh god.” 

“It's okay. I’m a fast thinker.  Explained any suspicions of Santa being daddy away. Many people have the same eye color and voice. Of course I know her middle name, I know everyone’s middle name.” he chuckled as he came over to his side and climbed into bed, “and that Santa was hugging mom because all dad wanted was for mom to know she was loved,” he pulled you into his chest and pressed a kiss to your head as you blushed, throwing an arm over his waist. 

“I love you,” you told him, pecking his lips. 

“I love you too.” 

“You know she’ll figure it out eventually, right? Two years from now she could look back on this moment and put two and two together. That Santa and daddy looked an awful lot alike.” You told him. 

He shushed you as he closed his eyes. “Let's push that thought far away from us and just enjoy the fact that our kids still believe in Santa.”  

~~~~

[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 15. Frosty Glass

Pairing: Gruber x Fem!OC

POV: First, OC

Setting: Small village in the English countryside

Continuation of: 14. Icy Roads

A/N: So yesterday Anna-Louise and Hans met for the first time, both seemingly instantly connecting on some other level. So, let’s see what happens today between plastic santas and a sassy old lady, shall we? 🥰💚

+A/N: AND IT'S ANOTHER BLOODY LONG ONE - WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?! 😭👍 I was hoping to have everything written for the prompts up until nr.19 today since my dad is coming over to celebrate Christmas this weekend but here I am, just having finished this one... I am terrible at containing myself and it's biting me in the ass right now 😂

Tags/TW’s: Dysfunctional Family, Self-worth Struggle, Repressed Emotions, Abandonment Issues, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Fluffy Feels, Finding One’s Courage

Word Count: 4.7k+

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // AO3 // LINK TREE

“Lulu! There’s no cookies!” dad shouted from the kitchen while I tried to dress the tree and keep sis’s blasted cat out of it simultaneously. Ferdinand was a menace on his best days, Christmas always turned into a blood bath, my hands and arms scratched up from chasing him out of the tree, out of the curtains, away from the presents — it was never-ending.

“Coming!” “Get the minty ones!” he shouted while I tried to hang the tinsel without Ferdinand getting the other end of it. “Sure thing, dad!” “Not those peppermint ones! The minty ones! The green ones!” “Oh my god,” I sighed under my breath. “Yes, dad! I KNOW!” “Oy! Don’t you take that tone with me, lassie!” “Why can’t you go your bloody self for once?” I muttered under my breath while stepping down from the stool.

Mum would have liked this tree, I thought with a smile of relief and pride. “Quite gorgeous if I do say so-, FERDINAND! NO!” The cat was already halfway up the tree, swatting at the tinsel before I could grab him. The cat shrieked and hissed, sinking their claws into my hands repeatedly. “Bloody hell, stupid cat!” Ugh, it’s not your fault but sod off, kitty!

I sat him down on the couch, knowing full well the second I’d leave the room he would be right back up in the tree. “Feral thing,” I hissed and he looked at me with those big eyes that I just couldn’t stay mad at even if my hands stung and were spotted with tiny droplets of blood from his sharp claws.

I washed my hands and grabbed my coat, hearing Ferdinand in the tree before I went out the door just as sis called my name in that tone that could only ever mean she wanted something from me. I didn’t stick around to find out what.

The afternoon was clear and bright despite the clouds hanging low in the sky. The wind had died down at lunch and it hadn’t snowed since last night. So, truthfully, it wasn’t so bad to be out of the house — even if it were on yet another errand for someone else who was too lazy to go themselves. Doesn’t matter, the weather is good, there’s not much people and there’s salt and gravel on the sidewalk so no slipping about today.

I didn’t dare think more of it as Hans had been on my mind nearly constantly since I had basically bolted away from him. Not even affording the man a chance to say goodbye as the conversation had hit too close to home when he asked such a direct question about my own perception of myself, my value. Are all Germans so direct and blunt?

I opened the door to the little café on the main street of the little village I was forced to call home and stomped off the snow from my boots. The space was decorated to the nines with all things tasteless. From the askew garlands to the tacky plastic Santas and elves dotting the surfaces of the room. Just like every year, it gets progressively worse.

“Oh, Anna-Louise!” I turned only to smile kindly at the little lady with a hunched back and a fat little dog by her feet. She was a sweet thing, hard of hearing and brutally honest but kind, to me at least. “Martha, how lovely to see you,” I said while she stepped up with short, slow steps to me. “Oh, don’t be daft, nobody likes me,” she said but I laughed for I actually did — even if she scared the children and swatted at peoples’ legs with her cane when they were in her way. She had taken care of me when nobody else did. When the house was empty and I was all alone at too young of an age she’d dragged me to her house and stuffed me with the saltiest treats and teeth-breaking cookies burned to a crisp.

“Now, when are you leaving?” she asked, peering up at me without being able to straighten her back, her hat askew and her teeth anywhere but in her mouth, as usual. Nothing changes here. “Martha, please,” I said with a smile as I bent down to scratch the fat dog under its chin — mostly to alleviate the strain on Martha’s neck from having to look up at me though. “You know I’m not leaving, I have nowhere to go, and nobody who cares.” “Humph, that’s hogwash and you know it, lassie! Your mum would have been pissed like a babe eating a sour lemon to see you stay around here with that brain of yours. You should be out there, exploring the world,” Martha said and began to throw around her cane to indicate the great big world.

“You know I can’t—” “That cane will cause harm eventually, waving it about in such a way, lady.” My body stiffened, my hand stopped scratching the dog as the dark German accent interrupted my sentence and Martha slammed down her cane by my foot with a loud thud. Hans…

I rose as quickly as I could. “Hans?” I asked while turning around and there he stood, all well-dressed and straight-backed. “Anna-Louise,” he said with a short nod and a warm smile. “Now here we have a fine man!” Martha exclaimed and I blanched for a second before whipping my head around. “Martha, you can’t say things like that!” I hissed, feeling my entire face burn. “What? Nobody ever uses that pretty name of yours anymore, always saying Lulu this and Lulu that. And look at him,” she kept going while pointing with her crocked finger blemished from old age, “he’s right off handsome, dressing as the men used to when I was a lassie.” “Martha, shush,” I tried with to silence her but Hans merely chuckled behind me. “Why, thank you, most kind of you, my lady,” he said in a charming manner that somehow felt quite false to me. He didn’t sound like that yesterday.

But Martha gobbled up the words with a chuckle before moving closer to the German man who'd saved my life yesterday while I was at a loss for what to do with the old lady and her daft behaviour. “You know my Anna-Louise?” she asked. “She’s yours?” he asked in return. “Well, her sleaze of a father ain’t much to hang in the tree, her good-for-nothing sister nothing but trouble and her mother—” “MARTHA. That’s enough,” I interrupted and the old lady tutted at me.

“Anywho, she’s my responsibility, so who are you?” “Hans Gruber, at your service, my lady.” He clicked his heels and bowed ever so slightly and still I felt as if it wasn’t quite him, yet he was bloody charming with his wide smile and friendly manner. There was just something wrong with it.

“German, eh? Love Germany, went with my husband back in the day, before the whole war thing, of course. Bloody waste of—” “Martha, for god’s sake, stop,” I sighed as the lady was about to set off on her usual campaign about how war was worthless, how her family raised bunnies to eat, how her husband was taken by it and all that stuff — stuff everyone already knew, agreed about or felt the same way about. There was absolutely no bloody reason to bring up world war two in the little café with its twinkling lights and the delicious smell of freshly baked treats.

Hans seemed unaffected though. “Shall I hold the door for you, my lady?” he asked with a wink in my direction and my shoulders slumped. Martha seemed delighted at the chivalry so uncommon in the poor village with too many dodgy people loitering about. “A gentleman, that’s proper behaviour!” Martha said and smiled her toothless grin up at him before moving towards the door that Hans opened for her. “Bye Martha! Remember to put your teeth in before you eat!” I called, a bit too loud perhaps, but the old lady really had bad hearing. She just waved me off though, too busy getting her wobbling dog out the door while looking at Hans.

I took the chance to get to the counter. But I had barely found the right minty cookies before Hans appeared next to me. “Lively lady,” he said with a chuckle and I smiled up at him in apology. “She’s quite the rascal, really, but she’s sweet. Just need to watch out for the cane, and have lots of patience, but she’s not bad,” I said before clamping my mouth shut. “I can imagine,” Hans simply said with a much warmer smile, a genuine feel to him now.

“Here for the treats?” I asked while turning back to see if there were any blueberry muffins left even if I couldn’t afford them. “Ah, no, actually,” he said and I glanced up at him. “You do know this is a café, right? Treats are kinda what they do here.” “Well, yes,” he chuckled, “but I saw you through the window, schnuki.” “Oh,” I said, not knowing what to make of it but feeling the strangest of giddy feelings at the way he looked a bit nervous.

“But, now that I am here, what do you recommend?” “Hmm, well, that depends on what you like. They have a lot of good stuff and the owner is really nice too, he bakes amazing bread too. The coffee is fresh as well, if you like coffee. I’m quite dependent on it,” I smiled while blabbering on. Unable to stop. Feeling as if there were butterflies in my stomach when he stood so close and offered me his full attention. “What are you having?” “Oh, nothing, I’m just getting some cookies for my dad, he ran out.” “So, out on another errand for someone else again?” I laughed nervously at that before biting my lip and turning away, not wanting to show that he’d hit the nail on the head once more.

“Why not get something while you are here? Tell me what you want the most?” “We aren’t all Oxford owners, you know.” “Oxford owners?” he asked, and my shoulders crept towards my ears — embarrassed about the muttering tone of my voice. “We can’t all afford treats,” I clarified in a low voice. “Schnuki,” he said and stepped a little closer, “I can afford to treat you. So, what do you want to have?”

I looked up at him, seeing him so close had my heart in a revolt of the warmest kind. “You really don’t—” “I can afford Oxfords,” he said matter-of-factly, putting an end to the debate. “Blueberry muffin,” I said, almost stunned at my own words -- short and to the point for once. There was no need to blabber much more as Hans actually listened to me, it felt a bit strange, honestly. “That’s your preference?” “My favourite.” “Well then, let’s get one each and some coffee.” I nodded at him, not knowing what to do when he was so kind, and giving. I wasn’t used to it. Everyone in the village had to hold on tight to their money, some more than others and my family was definitely part of that group. Or, I was at least, dad doing whatever he wished and my sis getting her way most of the time — with him or boys in general.

≪⁕≫

Hans hummed as he took the first bite of his muffin. “It’s good, right?” I asked with a small smile while tugging off my gloves to take my own muffin. “Really deli—” His eyes widened as I reached for my muffin and before I knew it my hands were in his. “What happened to your hands?” he asked while the warmth of his skin spread across my chilly hands with a wave of warmth rising within me. I couldn’t get my brain to even think a thought when he touched me, skin on skin.

“Schnuki? What happened? Why are you harmed?” I shook my head, blinking away the daze. “Oh, Ferdinand swatted at me, I’m fine though. He’s just—” “He? Who? Who is Ferdinand?” he gritted out, his blue eyes harsh. “Oh, my sis’s cat, he’s such a rascal because she never tamed him properly and I was doing the tree and he was trying to get the tinsel and climb it so I had to grab him and-, sorry, I’m blabbering… But I’m fine,” I said with a nervous smile as my hands kept tingling while he held them.

“Your hands should never look like this. Why did your sister not deal with her beast?” “Hans,” I laughed while he inspected my hands anew, “he’s no beast, he’s just a bit of a feral kitty.” “Still, this looks painful.” “I’m used to—” “This happens often?” “Well, yeah, I have to deal with him since sis doesn’t. She just thought he looked cute as a baby kitten, and dad hates Ferdinand, but he’s obsessed with making my sis happy so the cat would die if I didn’t care for it as much as possible. He doesn’t like me very much though, he’s a cat so he doesn’t understand who cleans his litterbox and makes sure there’s cat food and treats and clean water every day and all that. And he hates it when I bathe him, that’s a bloody war each time but he has sensitive skin so he needs baths with a special shampoo and-, oh, I’m blabbering again, I’m so sorry, I talk too much, all the time,” I said and finally managed to shut my mouth while my nerves were tied up in knots.

Through it all Hans still held my hands, his eyes apparently never leaving my face while my eyes bounced all over. He was too handsome and when he gave me his undivided attention I could barely hold myself together. So much in me was ready to burst out but he was a stranger I’d only met twice.

“Your family sounds quite terrible, quite selfish,” he said quietly and I laughed nervously, his words being too accurate. Again. “It’s not a laughing matter, why do you let them treat you this way?” “What else am I supposed to do? They’re my family,” I said and he finally (regrettably) released my hands while leaning back, looking at me intently. “Leave? You’re an adult.” “Yeah but I don’t have anyone and I can’t just leave, where am I supposed to go? I’ve never been further than London.” “You don’t need anyone, schnuki. You’re capable and more than able to stand on your own two feet.”

I glanced at him while wrapping my hands around the coffee cup, seeping up the warmth it offered my cold palms. “You don’t know me, Hans,” I whispered, feeling defeated when he had such faith in me. The last person who ever had faith in me was my mother and there was no faith to be had there anymore. “I don’t need to know you, it’s enough to look at you and talk with you a bit.” “Fine, be that as it may, I don’t want to be alone out there. The world is too big, too cruel and harsh. I’d break down in a puddle of anxiety. No, I’m better off here.” “Yet you’re not.” “I didn’t realise the muffin came with a therapy session,” I chuckled while I did my damnedest to restrain the tears wanting to well up. He was so genuine in his words, it just touched something within me — not to mention how he watched me, what it felt like to be near him and the strong sensation of care he radiated.

“I’ve offended you,” he said. “I’m sorry, schnuki.” “No, no you haven’t, I just-, it’s not so simple.” “What if I make it simple?”

I looked up at him, my muffin still untouched on the table and he had gotten comfortable in the booth. Something about the way he spoke those last words had my full attention. Something lingered in the air around him and it felt… honest.

“How would you do that?” I asked, leaning my elbows on the table to not crumble under his heavy gaze. He smiled slyly yet it was done in a comforting, alluring manner. The man had some unexplainable charm, not to mention he was easily the hottest man I had ever seen — not that I had ever been very attracted to anyone I’d ever met before. But his looks were so singular and it felt as if he held himself with a certain pride that had nothing to do with vanity. “Come with me,” he said, no faltering or humour in his voice while I blinked rapidly at him.

I burst out laughing, turning a few heads at the loud noise. “Oh yeah, let me just go with the stranger I met only yesterday, that’s a brilliant idea,” I laughed but he didn’t join in. He remained quiet, serious. “You’re joking, right?” “No.” “You’re being serious?” “Yes,” he nodded while his smile crept back for a second.

I leaned back, my mouth agape and my brain stunned. “You do know that’s like how to not get kidnapped one-o-one, do not go anywhere with strangers. Especially as a woman, and even more so when the stranger is a man.” “So that’s what we are, schnuki? Strangers? Just a man and a woman?” “Well, yes! We just met yesterday!” “Yet I’ve been unable to stop thinking about you.” And I you… This is madness!

My heart was running amok, my brain malfunctioning, and there was some idiotic part of me that simply wanted to say yes. Say ‘take me away from here and never stop looking at me like you are doing right now’ kind of thing that was wholly foolish and a thousand times idiotic.

“I don’t know you, Hans,” I said, even if there was some part of me that for whatever reason had faith in the man. That I wouldn’t come to harm, that I wouldn’t be abandoned again, or treated like some slave in my own home. Hans was… different. “And I don’t know you, Anna-Louise. Yet still, I feel as if I know who you are, what you are supposed to be.” “Nobody knows that,” I sighed, grabbing my coffee anew and drinking a large gulp despite the hot liquid burning my tongue.

“If nobody knows, then that includes you, no?” he asked while I sat the cup down. My eyes lingered on the blueberry muffin. “I guess, that’s almost fair to say. I don’t think anybody really knows who they are or what they are supposed to be.” “Then why not trust in someone else to see something more in oneself?”

I had no answer to that.

“Schnuki,” he said while his hand reached out and took mine gently, his thumb stroking over my knuckles softly. “Why do you call me that? What does it even mean?” I asked and looked up at him, his face soft while his eyes hooked mine. “I’m leaving at nine, taking the train north,” he said and avoided my questions entirely. “If you change your mind and decide you’d like to see the world with me, I’ll be waiting until the very last second, schnuki…”

He release my hand, stroked my jawline gently, and stood. My eyes followed his face all the way up while everything in my body screamed for me to take his hand and walk right out of the café by his side. That my life was going to walk right out with him and I’d never live another day as anything more than Lulu when I could be schnuki, whatever the hell that means. It can’t be worse than losing my name because it takes too much energy to say it, to be of so little value not even my name worth saying in its entirety… But he says it.

Hans walked around the edge of the table, pulling on his black gloves and adjusting the scarf around his neck while my body tensed. He was handsome, elegant, different and alluring in a way I’d never experienced before. “Schnuki,” he said and leaned forward, kissing my forehead gently. Yet, there was resolve and some touchable feeling of longing I couldn’t quite place seeping from his lips against my skin. “If we never met again, know that you are worth more than you think,” he said against my forehead and straightened to his full height.

The sound of the door closing jolted me. I turned to look out through the window, wanting to see him one last time only to find him standing there on the other side with a warm smile that was slightly blurry through the glass covered in frost. He just stood there, watching me for a long moment while my body appeared frozen in place, unable to run after him because of the fear yet unable to get my heart to understand that he wasn’t going to stay.

He took off his glove and drew the tip of his finger against the glass, melting the frost with his body heat while writing something. My eyes were too occupied with the view of his handsome face to fully register what he was doing though. And then he looked at me again, smiling softly with sincerity in those clear eyes. My heart pounded, my ribs hurt from the beating — or perhaps from the knowledge it held that my brain couldn’t comprehend.

One second he was there, and then he was gone. It took me a moment to realise I was staring out the window at absolutely nothing, then I bolted outside. “HANS!” I called over the sound of passing cars and laughing pedestrians. But he wasn’t there. My entire body slumped and a cold sense of dread crept in as I looked around the main street — all the shops and buildings engraved in my mind, every stone housing a memory I wished to forget or a feeling I never wished to experience again. All around me lay everything I had always wanted to escape from, yet had been tied to so fiercely I failed when the opportunity was given. Because I was afraid, taught to think of myself as something small and worthless to the world.

I hugged myself and turned only to catch my reflection in the frosty glass. My eyes had smiled yesterday when I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth, because he had been on my mind. Now, they were back to their normal state, closed off and vacant. I drew a deep breath and tried to find it in me to turn around and go home.

‘Sweetie’ it said on the window. Where Hans had been writing with his finger, the word sweetie was left behind and I couldn’t understand why such a childishly cute nickname damn near hurt every fibre of my body. Yes, you do, you know, Anna-Louise. You know why it hurt. You bloody well know! I screamed at myself in my head while I grabbed at the fabric covering my chest.

I had been nothing but unwanted, found to be a blabbering nuisance that could never do enough or be enough. The only thing I ever did enough of was talking, but what point is there to talking when nobody ever listens? I talk all the time because-, because no matter what I say or how many times I say it nobody hears me anyway… Nobody listens. I could say I’d off myself and nobody would bat an eye, they wouldn’t have heard me…

I wiped at my cheeks, the tears coming even if I didn’t want them to. My throat closed up as my fingers touched the glass where his finger had been, my other hand covering my mouth to silence the crying I didn’t want to let out. It felt as if years upon years of suppressed hurt, caged anger and hidden fear were trying to crawl their way into the light. It was so easy to hide it away, pretend it wasn’t there when nobody ever cared to see, to listen, to remind me of the fact that I deserved more. That I didn’t deserve to feel like I always did, to hide away and blabber myself into oblivion in the hope that maybe someone would see me, hear me…

I withdrew my hand, wrapping it around my aching stomach while clamping down my hand even harder on my mouth as my tears rolled despite my wish for them to stay hidden while my legs began to tremble beneath me. Did mum feel like this when she left? Was I not enough even for her to-, to bring me with her… It was the thought I never allowed myself to think.

“It can’t end like this. I can’t end up like this. There-, there has to be more to life than-, than-, than this,” I whispered against my palm while the tears chilled my face in the icy English winter. I’ll go. I’ll go and I won’t look back no matter what happens. I can’t-, I can’t live like this. And I… A gasp escaped me as my eyes lingered on the word ‘sweetie’, I feel something significant for him. There’s more to him, us, than just… strangers. There’s more.

≪⁕≫

I ran. My bag thudded against my thigh. They didn’t even notice. They won’t notice until there’s nobody there to do it all. And I won’t! I won’t be there anymore for them!

I panted as the station came into view, the large clock at the entrance standing at 08.56 pm. My heart ached and fluttered, my legs were drained and stiff while the wind clawed at my cheeks. He’ll be there, he has to be there, I chanted over and over in my head to keep the tears at bay.

I was leaving. I wasn’t coming back. I was running away. Running towards something. Someone.

“Please, be, there,” I panted. My breath turned to fog and I slowed down, unable to breathe without a burning sensation erupting in my throat from the cold air being inhaled too swiftly. I slowed down, feeling the nerves erupt and the fear of the unknown tried to make me turn around. But I couldn’t. The thought of him, of Hans, waiting for me with that longing in his eyes that saw me. The man who was happy when I blabbered after having been so quiet at the beginning. ‘She speaks’ he had said with warmth and I could not imagine ever forgetting those words.

I walked through the station house, my naked hands red and raw from the cold while I grasped at the strap of the duffel bag. He’ll be there. He’ll be waiting. He’ll absolutely be there. Right..? “I’ve lost my mind. I’m leaving with a stranger who calls me sch-nuky,” and I can’t even say it right… What am I—

There he was. Waiting on the platform. His entire body tense and stiff. But he was waiting. He was there.

It felt as if I could breathe again. My shoulders sank and an involuntary smile stretched my lips wide at the sight of him. I remained utterly still for a moment as I took him in, took in the fact that he was waiting for me while the train lay idle in wait for its departure time.

“H-Hans,” I whispered, my voice shaking. There was no chance he could have heard me from so far away, yet he straightened and looked around. His eyes found me nearly instantly and his entire body softened. A smile of his own spread across those thin lips framed by his perfectly groomed beard.

I couldn’t move, couldn’t get my legs to take me to him. Stunned that it was all happening. Surprised at the absolute joy in my heart at seeing him again. Transfixed by the shift in his eyes as he looked me over, his gaze snagging on my bag for a second before he began walking towards me. My fingers squeezed the strap harder as he drew closer, my throat closing up.

“Schnuki,” he exhaled a step away from me and then I was in his arms. “You came,” he murmured, as if he struggled for words as well. My arms came around him and I buried my cold face in his chest and shoulder. “I did.” “Anna-Louise…” he exhaled and kissed the side of my head. “We’ll see the world together, my sweet treat,” he continued after that and I couldn’t imagine I would ever have found the courage to leave the misery behind if it weren’t for the stranger who I’d so foolishly swiftly fallen head over heels for.

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // AO3 // LINK TREE

A/N: I love these two… Like, I love the way this is so held back yet obvious at the same time. They are so darn cute together and I can’t help but wonder how Anna-Louise would react to finding out who she’s actually left everything for… 😬 What do you think? Would they be able to get through that when they are so new to each other 🤔 I have no idea, maybe?

Either way, I hope you enjoyed this and that you found some delight in the cuteness 🙈🥰💚

Taglist: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie@setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @sunnylikesfrogs @mamawolfsmith16 @dianilaws @snowblossomreads @leah1243 @reinekefoxart @reiketsunomizunomegami @lokisbjchn

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[Dec:2022]

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

heheh i always get big brain ideas for these silly things

@ccartman

write a fictional story about bojack horseman playing santa claus at a mall with eric cartman as his next child customer who sees right through his disguise

Bojack Horseman was feeling particularly down this holiday season. He had been struggling with his own demons and was trying to find a way to spread some cheer in his life. So when he was offered the job of playing Santa Claus at the local mall, he jumped at the chance.

As he sat on his throne, surrounded by fake snow and fake presents, he waited for his first customer. The next child in line was none other than Eric Cartman, a notoriously mischievous and skeptical kid.

"Hey, fat man," Cartman said as he climbed up onto Bojack's lap. "I don't believe in you, you know."

Bojack was taken aback by the kid's bluntness. He had expected some skepticism, but not outright disbelief.

"Well, that's okay," Bojack replied with a weak chuckle. "I'm just here to spread some holiday cheer."

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure you are. You're just some washed-up actor who needs a paycheck."

Bojack winced at the kid's words. He had been trying to leave his past behind and start anew, but it seemed like his reputation had followed him.

"I know who you really are," Cartman said with a sly smile. "You're Bojack Horseman, the guy who used to be on that stupid sitcom. You're not Santa Claus."

Bojack sighed. He had been caught. "Okay, you got me," he said, taking off his beard and hat. "I'm not really Santa Claus. But I'm still here to make kids happy."

Cartman looked at Bojack for a moment, then burst out laughing. "This is hilarious! You're like the saddest Santa Claus ever."

Bojack felt a pang of shame in his chest. He had hoped that playing Santa Claus would help him feel better about himself, but now he just felt even more pathetic.

But then something unexpected happened. Cartman's laughter slowly died down, and he looked at Bojack with a new sense of understanding.

"You know what?" Cartman said. "You may not be the real Santa Claus, but you're still trying to make kids happy. And that's pretty cool, man."

Bojack looked at Cartman in surprise. He had never expected the kid to show him any kindness.

"Thanks, kid," Bojack said with a small smile. "That means a lot."

Cartman hopped off Bojack's lap and walked away, but not before turning back and giving Bojack a thumbs up.

As Bojack sat there, he realized that maybe he didn't need to be the perfect Santa Claus to make a difference. Maybe just showing up and trying was enough. And maybe, just maybe, he could find a little bit of holiday cheer for himself as well.

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

What people from MI6 are like (in fanon)

Blunt: #TheRealVillain

Jones: either “Alex, I’m sorry but you must listen to Mr. Blunt” or “Alex, I’m sorry you got caught up in our [insert unladylike language spoken in a ladylike way here]"

Crawley: I think I have a headache coming in.... *stares pointedly at Alex, who walks into the room at that moment*

Smithers: *cue lots of jiggling fat(suit)* Alex m’boy!!! *whips out 3+ gadgets like spy santa*

Ben: I don’t get paid enough for any of this. *swallows two aspirin pills dry*

[fucko]

now remember son, you've got to leave santa a FAT ASS BLUNT under the christmas tree

[blkgirlcafe]

Watering Hole

I am bored, and I had a dream about meeting a hot guy in a bar, so here ya go. 

Ray Merrimen x Riley (Black OFC)

Fluff, Flirting, little backwoods racism

Riley walked into the dingy bar, she couldn’t believe she let her friend, Sarah, drag her to this dingy hellhole. 

“Just a couple shots and a few around of pool, besides the air cranking in there.” 

One of the worst heatwaves had hit the state and their place didn’t have air, so here they were driving to the dingy bar on the outskirts of town. Cold drinks and cold air were all she wanted. Riley didn’t dress up for this, she had on some regular jean shorts, where the pockets hung lower than the hem, and a plain dark green cami. The green against her brown skin was perfect. 

Sarah walked in ahead of her; and Riley Immediately felt the rush of ice cold air. The sudden change in temperatures caused her to shiver.  80s soft rock played low on the radio. 

They walked past a group of guys, her eyes meeting one before she turned away. At the bar they ordered two beers and rented a pool table that was open.

“Can we smoke in here Sam?” Sarah asked the bartender. 

“Until someone complains.” He slid them the beers. 

They walked past the table again, 5 guys looking them up and down as they went to their table. Riley took a long sip of the beer before racking up the balls. 

They played a few games, Riley was in a chill mellow mood, between the blunt and beer she was happy. She didn’t feel like she was melting anymore either. 

“Girl, he look over here one more time, I’m calling him over.” 

“He looking at you anyway.” Riley replies. 

Without looking over, she cast her eyes in his direction. He was definitely looking over here but at who was the question. Riley bent over the table, sending the chosen ball into the pocket. 

“Nah, sis he looking at you.” 

The bell went off over the door, signaling that someone had entered. In walked a dude that looked like he could play Santa in the winter, as long as he put on clean clothes. his overalls dirty and filthy, stretched over his stomach. He took a seat at the bar. 

At first Riley didn’t pay him anymore attention, until he started directing remarks at her. 

“Didn’t know y’all allowed those types in here. And she smoking that junk.” 

Sarah was fuming, Riley just shook it off, use to it. More racist and sexist remarks were said. One of the guys from the table got up, the one that kept looking over here. Riley watched out the corner of her eyes as he walked over to the fat man. 

The tall man leaned over to whisper in his ear, the fat man turning red. He got up and rushed out the door, visibly shaken. The man sat down, finishing his drink, sending a wink her way. 

Riley was tired of this, she went to the bar to get another drink. 

“And one of whatever he is drinking…” she ordered. She picked up the two drinks and walked over to his table, swaying her hips. Riley boldly leaned over his shoulder to set the drink down. 

“And just what did you say to Old McDonald that had him running out of here?” She said. 

The guy chuckled, “I told him I would fuck him up if he kept messing with you, so he decided to go home early, smart on his part.” 

The man turned so He was facing you, even sitting down you were almost eye to eye that how tall he was.

“Well thank you kindly.” 

Riley leaned over, giving him a shot of her breast, kissing him on the cheek. 

“Not many guys are nice enough to stand up for someone else.” 

The bar was quiet and Riley turned and went back over to Sarah who stood there open mouthed. 

“Oh my fucking god, bitch I love you.” she whispered. 

Riley heart was beating a mile a minute, yeah she was bold but never that bold. She just out bolded her damm self. She risked a look at the guy, he had a dorky grin on his face, his hard guy persona slipping. 

People slowly starting leaving the bar, even a few guys from that table swayed away. Riley downed her beer, ready to go, she was just drunk enough to sleep no matter the heat. 

Sarah had a arm swung around her as they walked past the table. A hand reaching out grabbed her wrist and she stopped. It was they guy. 

“I didn’t catch your name, I’m Ray.”

“Riley, thanks again for tonight.”

“No problem, I think we should Exchange numbers, never know when you might be in a bar and need help.”

“Here I was hoping you would ask me out.” Riley quipped. 

“Take this down…” his voice was deep but soft gently commanding. 

Riley read the number back To him just to make sure she got it right. 

He bid her a goodnight and when they stepped outside into the cool night, Riley couldn’t fight the smile on her face. 

“Aww look at you into white boys.” Sarah joked. . 

“Shut up.” Riley shotback. 

[analyze-astrologize]

Sagittarius: the Sacriligous Centaur

🐴 November 22- December 21

🐴 Notice how every time Sag season comes around, people get all jolly *cough cough* Christmas season..noooo I give Jupiter all the credit!

🐴 The Santa Claus of the zodiac because of their giving and jovial nature🎅🏾

🐴 Sagittarius is a mutable fire sign ruled by the optimistic planet Jupiter. This element and mode combination explains why they are so passionate (fire) about travel (mutable).

🐴 Symbol is the centaur: half man, half horse

🐴 One minute they act human and the next they’re off galloping somewhere like a wild horse! 😂

🐴 Passions: travel, philosophy, higher learning, fitness (sometimes fitness 🍕 in their mouths), and just having FUN!!!

🐴 Know the ends and outs of whatever city they visit almost intuitively.

🐴 “I know this town/campus/mall/etc. like the back of my hand”

🐴 Pack rats or neat freaks

🐴 Very blunt...and wouldn’t mind smoking a blunt!

🐴 Arrogance = confidence

🐴 Are surprisingly thin-skinned. Can dish shit but barely can take it.

🐴 That friend that’s “been there, done that”

🐴 Try-sexuals

🐴 Either fat or fit.

🐴 Obsessed with either eating, exercising, fucking, or d. All of the above!

🐴 Leaps from wisdom to straight up foolishness!

🐴 Think Yoda mixed with Peter Griffin

🐴 More extreme than Scorpio. Higher highs and lowest lows.

🐴 Get the big head REAL easy!

🐴 Always learning and enjoys sharing their knowledge.

🐴 Arrogant Sags like to sit up on their high horse ! Lol! Get it?

🐴 Have strong muscular legs like a horse! 🦵

🐴 Very loud and if they’re quiet, their presence is loud!

🐴 IM THE LEADER, FOLLOW ME

🐴 The Pastor And the Pimp

🐴 Hot in the pants 🔥 👖 🔥

🐴 King/Queens of interracial dating

🐴 Wherever you have Sagittarius in your chart is where you’ll experience expansion. It’s Also where you will be well educated in and might have too much excess. It’s also where you’ll experience optimism and where you’ll meet foreigners.

🐴 Got Gemini’s beat in the talking/gossiping department.

🐴 Quick to jump into relationships, contracts, fights,etc.

🐴 Forever the Bachelor for the men

🐴 Forever the Wife/Mistress for the women

🐴 Beautiful dimples

🐴 Prominent noses; something about their noses. Ex.: Shaunie O’Nostrils

🐴 Whenever Sags enter the room, the reaction is strong: loud greetings or loud sighs.

🐴 Major flirts

🐴 More loyal to friends than to lovers

🐴 More loyal to lovers than to their kids 👀

🐴 Will have the most sinful sex on Saturday and do the most worshiping on Sunday (in church)

🐴 Sags don’t play about their spiritual walk. They must center themselves...for now 😈

🐴 Enjoy exposing others and exposing themselves! 😜

🐴 Their jokes sound like insults

🐴 Got Virgos beat on the criticism

🐴 Big ego 😎 and even bigger sexual appetite 🍑🍆💦

🐴 Have a nice ass

🐴 You can’t slut shame these people. They’re proud of their skills and have partners 🗣 on rotation!

🐴 You cannot tie down, control, or constrict a Sagittarius ESPECIALLY IN BED!

🐴 Always end up w/ Virgos, Pisces, Geminis or Capricorns.

🐴 Sag men LOVE Capricorn women just as much as Sag women love older men. 😉

🐴 Sags And Aquarius are ALWAYS going toe to toe! ♒️ 🥊 ♐️

🐴 Exciting and colorful emotions

🐴 Someone always thinks you’re hot, even the dorky Sags can get it! 👅

🐴 Respecters of different customs and cultures

🐴 Laugh through their pain or laugh AT their pain! Ex. Kevin Hart (Sag Moon) has a comedy show called Laugh At My Pain

🐴 You know that one friend that seems happy all the time, but is secretly depressed? Check on your Sag friend!

🐴 November Sags tend to have it harder emotionally because they carry the baggage from the Scorpio energy, brought on by the excessiveness of Sagittarius, mix it up....ITS BIPOLAR DISORDER!!!!

🐴 Comedians of the zodiac

🐴 Always jumping on planes, trains, and automobiles! 🛫🚃🚘

🐴 The world is SO much brighter with Sagittarius around!

[franklyshipping]

Day 23 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

WOOOOO DAY 23 MY FRIENDOS LET'S CARRY ON WITH SOME SWEET ROMANCE! LET'S DO IT!

TAGGING: @darkipli-ler @darkipliler @giggles-and-pink-mustaches​ and @wilford-lee-warfstache

Now we come…to the patron of Christmas. This being is known far and wide for being the bringer of hopes and dream and gifts and jingles and jangles and happiness to all those in the world who deserve it. That’s right, it’s Daddy Yule-UH…I mean Father Christmas. The jolly, bearded, chunky, sack bearing guy himself…though for some reason he seemed to be wearing garters on top of his trousers, and he also had a pink moustac-ohhh…it seemed Wilford Warfstache was taking on the role of Santa this year. He’d just collapsed with a happy sigh into a squishy armchair in the main living room, and smiled to his boyfriend.

‘Wowie that was tiring!’

Dark, who was on his knees next to the Christmas Tree, looked to Wilford with a sigh and a raised eyebrow.

‘That, my dear, is because you insisted upon putting all these presents under the tree whilst in your full Santa Claus garb.’

…there was in fact no lie here. Wilford was fully dressed up as Santa, with the white beard, the hat, the boots, red trousers and waistcoat and jacket…all on top of a fat suit. As a result, amidst the present depositing task, Wilford had gotten very tired very quickly. Even though he was sat, he still managed to put his hands on his hips as he replied to Dark passionately.

‘But I have to practise wearing it for an extensive amount of time if I’m going to be able to do it for the kids on Christmas Day Dark! Just imagine their cute little smiling faces!’

Dark let out a soft laugh, lounging on the floor on his side in white, suit-like pyjamas as he smiled up at Wilford.

‘You sap.’

‘You still loooove me!’

Dark rolled his eyes with a snicker, before raising an eyebrow when he felt something nuzzling his hand. He looked down with a grin and crooned.

‘Yes, yes I love you as well, god you’re as bad as him…’

Gooper gurgled and giggled, particularly when Dark used his blunt nails to scratch his underbelly playfully. Dark smirked at the little creature, before sending that smirk Wilford’s way.

‘Wow, you two really are alike.’

….Wilford was grateful for the fake beard right now because it hid his embarrassed blush very well.

‘You hush it! And don’t torture the poor bumpkin, he’s worked hard today!’

Dark rolled his eyes once more, before having mercy on the giddy, trembling little glob. He pet him instead as he softened his voice affectionately. Gooper had helped them so much today, working so tirelessly, he was a special, warm-hearted little glob.

‘That is true….I don’t know how we all survived in this house in the past without you…’

Gooper cooed and wiggled softly in response to that, before Dark booped him with a smile.

‘Alright, enough heartfelt things, off to bed or that underbelly is mine!’

Gooper squeaked adorably, and nuzzled Dark’s fingers before hurriedly speeding out of the room, making Dark chuckle and sigh, before looking back to Wilford.

‘Shall we head off too love?’

Wilford hummed, stroking his fake beard in thought, before straightening up in the armchair as he replied.

‘In a minute, while I’m in this chair though I wanna test something, c’mere.’

Dark raised a curious eyebrow as he stood, ambling over as his boyfriend beckoned him….but then the suave gentleman pursed his lips when Wilford patted his lap with a grin.

‘Come sit on Santa’s lap.’

‘No.’

‘C’mooon!’

‘Absolutely not!’

‘But Daaaark we have to check if I’m comfy for the kids!’

‘….fine.’

Dark huffed, looking around to check that they were absolutely alone….before he settled himself on Wilford’s lap. He couldn’t help but smile when Wilford grinned and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him softly as he spoke.

‘So?’

Dark averted his gaze, feeling a tad bashful since it was such a sweet little moment between them.

‘You are comfy….as you always are, love.’

Wilford grinned, keeping Dark close so he could relish seeing him succumbing to the sweetness of it all. Wilford reached up to take of his fake beard, before cupping Dark’s face with his hands as he purred.

‘C’mere….’

Dark obliged happily, and soon they were both melting into each other’s lips, kissing warmly and gently and happily. Dark was gripping Wilford’s jacket as Wilford’s fingers snuck and nestled into Dark’s hair, and it was all beautifully sweet….until Wilford whispered.

‘Santa thinks you’ve been a naughty, naughty boy this year…’

Dark spluttered and pulled away from the kiss, cheeks going pink as he shoved Wilford’s chest, the owner of which was cackling his heart out.

‘Wilford! That’s rude!’

Wilford snorted amidst his mirth, eyes gleaming with his happy cheekiness as he purred.

‘Darn right it is honey, how’s my lap treatin’ ya?’

Wilford wiggled his hips with a smirk, which made Dark jump and let out a low growl. He leant in nose to nose with his boyfriend, and his eyes were narrowed threateningly….if Wilford wasn’t careful, Dark was seriously going to punish him for bringing rudeness into their sweet moment.

‘Any more rudeness out of you….and you’re getting it.’

Wilford’s and Dark’s eyes met….and Dark knew right away, before Wilford had even spoken….that Dark was going to be dishing out punishment to Santa Claus instead of mince pies.

‘….Daddy Yuletide at your service-!’

‘OH THAT’S IT!’

Wilford yelped with wide, giddy eyes as Dark ripped open his jacket and waistcoat, yanking off the fake belly strapped onto Wilford….before using his devilish fingers to dig into Wilford’s real tummy.

‘WOHOHOHAHAHA BAHAHABE NAHA!’

Wilford threw his head back with laughter, batting at Dark as he writhed around in the chair, trying to get up to escape….but with Dark solidly on his lap, that was impossible. Dark smirked, eagerly squeezing and scribbling Wilford’s soft abs as he purred.

‘Seems to me that it’s Santa who’s been the naughty one this year….and he needs to be punished.’

Wilford shook his head adorably as his limbs flailed, his cheeks a dark pink now as streams of bubbly cackles spilled from his lips. He tried hard to initially curl up, but Dark had leant right on top of him, so there was no chance of shielding any of his sensitive spots….Wilford was screwed.

‘NAHAHA IHIHI DOHOHON’T I DOHON’T!’

Wilford tried to insist, but he should have known better than to try and play to Dark’s morality….because when it came to tickling his beautiful annoyance of a boyfriend, Dark had no morality. He just smirked and tickled to his cool heart’s content.

‘Oh but you do….you’re such a naughty thing, and we can’t have any of that on Christmas Day, think of those poor children!’

Wilford howled as Dark dug into the sides of his stomach, making him kick out and squeeze his eyes shut with desperate flusteredness. It was such torture, and the fact that it was his evil, loving, teasy Dark tickling him to pieces….made Wilford crumble even more.

‘PLEHEHEASE BAHABY! I-IHIHI’LL BEHE GOHOHOOD!!’

Dark hummed in a disbelieving manner, relishing in how Wilford trembled and twitched as he used one finger to trail about over his tummy.

‘Hmmm….you don’t sound particularly sincere.’

Dark sneered, before slipping his finger into Wilford’s navel and swirling it about devilishly, making the moustached man beneath him squeal and arch his back cutely.

‘AAAEEE IAMIAM EHEHEEE IHI AHAAAAM!!’

Dark chuckled fondly at his hyper-sensitive darling, letting out a light, happy sigh as he watched him screw up his face with mirth and beg for mercy….whilst at the same time, never lifting a finger to fight him back. It was so beautiful to Dark, Wilford was so beautiful.

‘Mmm….you know, I’m still not sure….’

Dark purred, twisting his finger in the ticklish bellybutton at a slow, evil pace to make Wilford wail and shudder, encased by his ticklishness. Wilford was beyond embarrassed by this point, he was red faced, hot, nearly hysterical, and flustered not just by the tickles, but also by the smirking and chuckling from his boyfriend that he couldn’t escape.

‘PLEHEHEHEASE BAHAHABY!!’

Wilford cried with wide eyes, and Dark smiled…dammit, he never could protest against those sweet, chocolate, puppy dog eyes. Dark let out a playful growl under his breath, smiling at Wilford playfully as he crooned.

‘I suppose I don’t want you to go completely crazy….’

Wilford panted and giggled, relishing in the chills and goose-bumps happening all over his body as he looked up at Dark from beneath his eyelashes. He loved Dark so much, and honestly, Dark was someone that Wilford would allow to drive him crazy. Dark’s heart flustered when Wilford sported the beautiful, tired, lopsided grin in the whole world.

‘Hohow Chrihistmas spirited ohof you….’

Dark raised an eyebrow at his sarcasm, and leant in to ghost his lips over Wilford’s teasingly as his crimson eyes glimmered with flirty playfulness.

‘Really? You really think it’s a good time to get sassy with me?’

Wilford nibbled his bottom lip….before leaning in and nipping Dark’s bottom lip with a giggle.

‘Ahabsolutely.’

Their eyes me again, before Dark leant in and captured Wilford in a more passionate kiss, causing the moustached man to purr and melt and let the kiss take up all the focus in his mind. He even rested his arms on Dark’s shoulders as they made out….but Dark wasn’t done with his punishment yet. He smirked into Wilford’s lips as he let his fingers teasingly splay against Wilford’s inner thighs….and he chuckled when Wilford’s breath hitched.

‘….b-bahabe….’

Wilford’s whisper was weak and shaky, and his lips were already twitching as Dark smirked against them and purred, letting his fingertips trace the sensitive areas.

‘Yes dear?’

Wilford whimpered, smiling properly now as his eyes started to water adorably, and his thighs were twitching.

‘….i-ihit t-tihickles….’

Dark snickered fondly, growling as he kept softly kissing Wilford, wanting to drive him absolutely over the edge of flusteredness.

‘Excellent….’

Wilford whimpered even more as Dark’s fingertips and blunt nails ragged and circled all over Wilford’s vulnerable, sensitive inner thighs. Within minutes, Wilford was a mess of splutters, squeaks, beet red blushes and whines as he felt himself weakening completely at the tickling and affection.

‘P-Plehehease….D-Dahark….’

Dark smirked, raising a playful eyebrow as he purred, still teasingly tickling.

‘Yes dear?’

Wilford whined as he gazed at his boyfriend, his hands now moving to cling to his pyjama shirt as Wilford’s begged oh so preciously and handsomely.

‘P-Plehease….D-D-Dahahamien….m-mehercy….’

Dark blinked a few times, and his smirk melted away into a tender smile….dammit, Wilford using that name always made him weak….but in a way that Dark loved. His hands moved away from Wilford’s thighs so they could cup his face, making Wilford gasp and giggle residually amidst the mercy.

‘Anything for you, my naughty, naughty darling.’

Wilford absolutely lit up and giggled when Dark started to snuggle into him….and there they stayed. Honestly, they were probably the two naughtiest little shits in the entire household….and yet if anyone were to walk in now and see all the cuddling, kissing and smiling….they would say that it was nicest thing in the whole damn world.

WOOOO HOPE YOU ALL LIKED THIS NEXT FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DID WOOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[pindaleng]

Merry Pitchmas @c-k-mack​!!! Hope you’re having a happy holiday :)

Title: There’s something ‘bout when I see ya, think I need a drink

Pairing: Junksen

Chapters: 1/1

Wordcount: 2467

Summary: It's Emily's first holiday party with her new coworkers, and there's one in particular she wants to impress. Or at least not look like a fool in front of. Should be easy...right?

Emily paced nervously in front of the apartment door, rehearsing her greeting. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this nervous. Close to her chest, she held a homemade pie. Apple. The favorite of the host’s.

On top of the pie was a bag of cookies in case she was wrong about the pie. Just to cover all her bases. She was pretty sure no one could hate chocolate chip cookies.

Emily muttered to herself. “Hi, long time no see! No that’s dumb...Hey there homie, happy holidays! I can’t believe I just said that…”

It was her first company party after starting her new job, and she really wanted to make a good impression. She liked all her coworkers, and was pretty sure they all liked her, but that was all in the workplace. There was something different about being out-of-office cool.

Emily jumped as the door swung open, revealing Aubrey in a green holiday sweater, decorated with reindeer and snowflakes.

“I thought I heard someone out here. You want to come in?”

“Um yeah, I’d love to.”

So that could have gone better.

Continue reading on Ao3 or below :)

It was only a couple of days ago that Emily figured out her massive crush on Aubrey.

She was with her coworker Beca at lunch in their building cafeteria, and going on and on about how cool and great and smart Aubrey was. And how happy it made her every time Aubrey said her name, in person or over email. She was sure Beca stopped listening to her five sentences ago, as she probably heard Emily’s spiel a thousand times before. Yet, Emily still felt the need to express all the amazing things about Aubrey Posen. She got to listing all the pretty intricacies of Aubrey’s smile when the epiphany hit her like a ton of bricks.

Oh.

The sudden and unusual silence must have pulled Beca’s focus from her phone. “Dude you okay?”

“I have a crush on Aubrey!” Emily shout-whispered across the table. “Oh my god Beca what do I do?”

Beca shrugged. “Beats me, Em. I don’t know, just tell her?”

Emily glared daggers at her friend. “Easy for you to say. I know you and Chloe pined over each other for seven years and she was the one that ended up telling you.”

“Well, that seems a little dramatic.”

“We both know that it’s true.” They engaged in a brief staring contest before Emily broke and pouted. “Help meeeeee.”

Beca rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. “Fine dude, but you owe me lunch.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!”

----

Sharing a cubicle wall, Beca and Emily became close friends through the proximity of their desks. Emily liked asking a lot of questions when she first started, and Beca (to her chagrin) was the closest victim. Gradually, gruff Beca warmed up to her, and the two became close work buddies.

And although Emily liked Beca a lot, her favorite coworker would definitely be Aubrey Posen. Hands down, no contest. No offense to Beca.

(“None taken,” she said, when Emily inevitably shared her thoughts one day.)

There was no one that could match the quiet authority, intelligence, and kindness Aubrey held.

Aubrey had been at the company for a couple of years now, quickly rising through the ranks with her invaluable insight into various projects. She also became a great resource for Emily whenever Beca couldn’t figure out how to help.

Sometimes Emily would skip asking Beca altogether, making the excuse that Beca was busy, when she could clearly see Beca over their shared wall, playing games on her phone. She told herself that she learned better when Aubrey was giving her advice, probably because she hung onto every last syllable. Though some people in the office were intimidated by Aubrey, Emily didn’t get it.

She kept feeling herself drawn towards her, rather than away.

And so, Emily took every opportunity to get on any project with Aubrey. Even if it was just scanning reports or organizing files.

Sure working at a desk wasn’t exactly what Emily envisioned when she graduated college, but it wasn’t the worst thing either. She hadn’t really known what she wanted to do, besides hopefully something in psychology. Unfortunately, that vagueness and indecisiveness didn’t land a job in the field. Those in her major that did get a job right out of university knew exactly what they wanted to go in, and could flawlessly articulate their motivations.

But Emily wasn’t like that.

Psychology 1001 was her favorite course freshman year, so she stuck with it. She enjoyed most of her psych classes since, but none really convinced her to pursue a certain career. It was incredibly interesting, sure, but she didn’t know what she wanted to do with all the information.

Senior year, she applied to a bunch of different positions on her school’s job website, and eventually got an offer from a financial consulting company. It involved a mixed bag of work, none of which utilized her psych degree, but there were definitely worse places to be. It had good benefits, a nice desk space for her family of plants, and most importantly, fun coworkers.

Everyone’s genuine kindness came as a pleasant surprise. So even though it wasn’t her field of choice, Emily found herself enjoying her days, as the people she got to help were awesome.

And there was one person in particular she especially liked working with.

Whenever Aubrey sent out a mass email asking for volunteers on new projects, Emily would respond almost immediately. A message would appear on Emily’s computer asking her to stop by Aubrey’s office to talk over the project. Emily usually left the conversation thinking it all could have easily been communicated through email, but she wasn’t going to complain. Meeting with Aubrey always made her day, if not her entire week.

----

On Friday, Emily spent over an hour in Aubrey’s office, discussing all the issues in their current project. It was a frustrating one, with two more problems springing up whenever they solved one. Being near five p.m., they decided to press pause and look at it with fresh eyes next week.

Emily turned to leave before being called back by Aubrey.

“Hey, um. Are you still going to the office party?” She looked uncharacteristically nervous.

“Yeah! Your place right?” Emily replied cheerily. Her response seemed to relax Aubrey’s shoulders. “I’ll try not to trash it.”

Aubrey smiled warmly and Emily struggled to maintain her professional composure. “I’ll hold you to it. See you this weekend.”

----

Now Emily was at this party, hanging out with her coworkers. Again, she loved them all, but there was one in particular she was hoping to spend time with. To her disappointment, the host was in high demand, greeting people at the door and finishing up food preparations.

So besides their brief interaction when she got in, Emily wasn’t able to get a moment with Aubrey.

“What are you doing in the corner?”

Emily looked up to see Jessica and Ashley watching her curiously. She didn’t even notice they arrived at the party.

Jessica ended up answering Ashley’s question. “She’s sulking because she hasn’t gotten any time with her girlfriend yet.”

Emily spluttered. “Girlfriend? What? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend. Massive crush. Same thing.” Ashley dismissed.

“Are you going to do anything about it?” Jessica asked.

“About what?” Playing innocent wasn’t her strong suit, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

Ashley was blunt about it. “About asking Aubrey out.”

“Don’t deny you have a thing for her.”

Emily knew she wasn’t going to get out of this one. She sighed. “It’s just, I don’t want to mess up our work relationship, and I’m pretty sure she just sees us as coworkers.”

They both gave her a weird look. Jessica sipped at her drink like she had a secret.

Emily narrowed her eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” they said in unison, walking away to rejoin the rest of the party.

Well that was weird, she thought as she made her way to the drink station. Emily was already one beer down, and ready for another one. Her eyes latched on the bottle of patron.

----

The party was going very smoothly, all low-key mingling and chatter in small groups. Multitudes of Christmas lights and festive sweaters added to the cheery atmosphere, and that shot of tequila helped Emily loosen up. But of course, with this group, the calm wasn’t going to last. It came as a surprise to no one that Chloe was the one to suggest a party game.

“Okay, I have the perfect idea,” she said once the entire group gathered on the floor around her. Chloe’s eyes glinted mischievously. “Truth or drink.”

“Game is simple. Basically truth or dare, so the person whose turn it is can ask anybody a question, and they have to answer truthfully or opt out by taking a shot. That person then gets to pick who they ask a question to, and so on.”

Stacie and Fat Amy were practically jumping out of their skins in enthusiasm. Beca had a look in her eyes akin to fear.

When Emily entered the apartment earlier that evening, never did she expect she’d be learning her coworkers’ dirtiest secrets. Thankfully, they seemed to think of her as the kid of the group, so the questions asked to her were tame in comparison.

Aubrey: “Where was your first kiss?” (Under the football bleachers.)

Lilly: “How many summoning spells have you done?” (None? Lilly seemed disappointed by the answer.)

Chloe: “What age did you stop believing in Santa?” (Emily threw back a shot for this one. Everyone laughed.)

A couple of rounds passed, and it was back to Chloe’s turn to ask.

“Okay Aubrey. Out of everyone in this room,” Chloe tapped her chin thoughtfully, “who would you want to bang?”

Aubrey froze and immediately knocked back her shot, which resulted in a chorus of ooo’s.

“Oh my god Aubrey who is it??”

“Is it Beca?”

“Ew Flo don’t suggest my girlfriend.”

Fat Amy piped in. “Okay then, it has to be Stacie.”

The ooo’s were even louder this time. Emily saw Stacie throw a suggestive wink to Aubrey across the circle, and a slight blush painted Aubrey’s cheeks.

Suddenly the room felt too stuffy.

Emily got up in an attempt to escape the situation, but ended up knocking into the coffee table next to her and tipping over a glass of wine. Her reflexes were enough to save any red liquid from getting on the carpet, but the same couldn’t be said about her white snowman sweater.

Sloppy drunk at her crush’s holiday party. Cool cool.

As if this night could get any worse.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help get you cleaned up.” Of course Aubrey was offering. Emily didn’t know whether to be excited or mortified at the prospect of being in close quarters with Aubrey.

As Aubrey grabbed paper towels nearby, Emily noticed Chloe whisper something in her ear, causing her to blush again. Emily frowned. It probably had something to do with Stacie.

Emily locked eyes with Beca, who gave her an encouraging two thumbs up. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Plans A and B that Beca concocted consisted of asking Aubrey out via taco sauce packets that say “Marry me?”, or serenading a lovey Christmas song with Aubrey’s name added in. Thank goodness Chloe was the one that asked Beca.

Aubrey made a pitstop in her bedroom to pick up an extra sweater and bath towel, and as she closed the bathroom door behind them, Emily’s heart raced. She’s literally just helping you remove a stain. Not sexy. Calm down. Emily internally yelled at herself.

Aubrey handed over the sweater and towel. “I’ll turn around so you can change.”

True to her word, she turned as Emily pulled off her ruined sweater. Emily toweled off any wine that seeped through fabric and onto her skin.

“Sorry I’m taking you away from spending the party with Stacie,” Emily muttered as she pulled the clean sweater on. She passed the now blotched towel back to Aubrey.

The older girl furrowed her eyebrows. “Why would I want to be spending it with Stacie?”

“Because, you know, you have a crush on her.”

“Did I say that?”

“Well no, but everyone seems to think so. From earlier.” Aubrey didn’t add anything so Emily continued. “And, I get it. She’s smart and beautiful, and flirty and cool. And probably really good in bed. Oh my god why did I say that—”

“Emily.” Aubrey’s firm voice brought her back from her spiral.

She took a breath. “Sorry.” Emily finally met Aubrey’s eyes.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

The hem of her sweater suddenly became super interesting. She heard Aubrey take a breath.

One moment, Emily was wondering if her clumsiness completely blew her chance with the prettiest woman in the world, and the next, she was feeling soft lips on hers. Just as quickly as it began though, it ended.

“Was that okay?” Aubrey asked, searching her eyes for any signs of discomfort.

Emily nodded furiously, then pressed her lips back onto Aubrey’s, sinking into the feeling. This kiss was more needy, as if making up for lost time. /Aubrey, Aubrey, Aubrey/ shouted her mind, body and soul. Hands gripped her waist, desperate for some sort of grounding.

Just as Emily pushed Aubrey up against the wall, sharp knocking pulled them out of their bubble.

“You guys done making out in there??”

Emily could feel Aubrey smile against her lips, then slowly pull apart, giving one last quick peck.

“Out in a sec, Chloe!”

“You better because I really need to pee!” Came the shout back through the door.

As the sound of footsteps receded, Emily found Aubrey’s eyes focused back on her.

“So…you kissed me.” Emily said slowly.

“Mmhmm.”

“Like on the mouth.”

“That’s generally how it works.”

The gears in Emily’s brain were working overdrive to process the past few minutes. She was sure she was dreaming, except it was better than every single dream she’s ever had. Every cell in her body was electrified. Emily hated running, but she felt like she could sprint a marathon .

“You like me.“

The corner of Aubrey’s mouth twitched up, and she laced her fingers with Emily’s. “Yeah, for a while now.”

“What??”

“I didn’t know if you felt the same way about me.” Aubrey bit her lip. “And I didn��t want to mess up what we had at work if I was totally misreading any signs.”

Emily leaned in and kissed Aubrey again, soft but firm, a nice medium between their first two kisses.

“Hope there isn’t any more confusion.”

Aubrey laughed, and Emily melted. She could get used to this.

[bionicallywriting]

I wrote a drabble for the Fairest of the Rare Secret Santa Exchange! (And made my first ever manip.)

Title: Girl of Sun and Summer

Word count: 800

Pairing: Charlie Weasley x Luna Lovegood

Whenever Charlie was required to stay at the sanctuary over Christmas, one of his siblings would make a point of visiting him. Unfortunately, this year, it fell to Ginny, who had spent the last five years setting him up with her numerous friends in a variety of increasingly creative ways. 

Charlie resolved not to bury her in snow. Even if she deserved it.

***

 

Ginny's visit coincided with tragedy at the reserve: Hera, mother of dragons, had died of a bad cold. 

 

Charlie hated discussing this topic with laypeople, because the inevitable question was "but don't they breathe fire? Shouldn't it, you know, keep them warm?" He probably heard this joke at least twenty times in the first week of December alone. 

 

He wasn't feeling very humorous about the plight of the dragons. Hera should have been tending to her newest brood, carrying her young in her mouth during winter when it was chilliest out. Instead she was gone. Charlie was not only sad but worried sick about her babies. He had never wished so hard for the season to be over.

 

In the wintertime, dragons entered brumation, requiring only minimal care. The dragonkeepers restocked the pastures less often and relied on the animals' natural instinct for cover to dig underground shelter for themselves.

 

The same could not be said of baby dragons, whose growth slowed drastically if they brumated in their formative years. All five hatchlings were showing signs of ill health and seasonal lethargy due to being orphaned. Instead of being iridescent shades of blue or green, their scales were grey and dull, their fat pads were depleted, and they had mucus in their mouths. None of which endeared them to visitors, though infancy was the time people usually appreciated them the most.

 

"Ew," was Ginny’s ever blunt first response. "Why is that one drooling foam?"

 

Next to Ginny, her friend was silent. A quiet girl—a rarity among Ginny's friends, each of whom was more raucous and forward than the next. She looked like a child and would probably not even come up to Charlie's clavicle. Ginny was really running out of prospective setups for him.

 

When Charlie didn't reply right away, the small girl reached into her bag and drew out a flute. Charlie watched with elevated brows, as he recalled the one setup who liked to recite erotic poetry. That one was—interesting.

 

"Luna?" Ginny frowned, falling silent as her friend lifted the flute to her lips.

 

Both Charlie and Ginny waited, but nothing could be heard. 

 

Then the five baby dragons nesting under the lamp started to croon—a high-pitched shrieking sound that trailed off into random barks and screeches. They were singing, albeit horribly.

 

All five of them had lifted onto their hindquarters, waddling slowly towards Ginny's friend. Luna.

 

Luna lowered her flute, and she glanced up, directly looking at Charlie for the first time. He felt a jolt go through him. Her eyes were the color of healthy silver scales on a bright summer day.

 

"I wasn't sure if it would work." Her voice was soft, ethereal, and calming. "That's how dragons mourn their loved ones. They've just been orphaned, haven't they?"

 

He was too startled to reply. 

 

The five baby dragons bobbed their heads up and down, searching for the music that had disappeared. Luna laughed, the sound delicate and light, tinkling like elven song. Just like her, Charlie supposed, dainty thing that she was. 

 

But there was nothing dainty in the fearless way she crouched down and let the nearest dragon crawl up onto her hand.

 

"Her name is Luna?" Charlie murmured to Ginny. He still didn't like setups, but there was no point in being rude.

 

Ginny grimaced. "I know, I remember what you said. This isn't a setup. I just thought it'd be a nice trip for her. She's one of my best friends and she likes—misunderstood creatures."

 

Suddenly, Charlie remembered Luna. Luna Lovegood, the wraith-like girl who lived not far from the Burrow. She and Ginny used to play together, chasing fairies into the dusk. This was Luna? She had grown up—although, admittedly, not vertically. A small pale blonde girl made of snow and winter, exuding the warmth of sun and summer. When she shifted, Charlie saw red and green potted mushroom earrings dangling at her earlobes.

 

"Oh," was all Charlie could think to say. He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. He scratched his beard and then his temple. "She—seems like a nice girl…"

 

Ginny stared at him. "Are you—are you interested in Luna ?"

 

He didn't quite know how to answer that. Only—any girl who knew to play inaudible music to newly orphaned dragons deserved a closer look. 

 

Especially when she had silver eyes as bright as the sun and a laugh like the warm summer breeze.

Also posted here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21884917

[mycngs-blog]

                it’s  ya  girl  𝒅𝒓𝒊  (nineteen  —  twenty  next  week  !,  she/her,  pst),  a  soft  edgy  born  with  a  name  that  means  "dark  one  of  the  lord"  on  friday  the  13th  !  some  fun  facts  are  that  i  have  the  incredibly  dangerous  combo  of  high  ambition  and  poor  time  management  and  i’d  Risk  It  All  for  a.c.e,  ateez,  and  loona  !  so,  anyway,  here’s  my  girl  olivia  !  if  you’re  interested  in  plotting  connections,  feel  free  to  im  me  or  ask  for  my  discord  (where  i  would  be  Way  easier  to  reach)  !

                𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍.  𝐒𝐇𝐄/𝐇𝐄𝐑.  𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄.  ╱  was  that  𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀  𝐌𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆  i  just  saw  in  the  hideaway  lobby  ?  i  hear  the  𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐓𝐖𝐎  year  old  spends  most  of  their  time  𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐀𝐒  𝐀  𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇  𝐓𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐑,  but  i’ve  always  just  seen  them  𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐑𝐇𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐌  𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒.  they  live  in  𝐀𝐏𝐓  𝟓𝐂  and  i  often  see  them  in  the  halls.  they  always  give  me  a  vibe  of  𝐃𝐎𝐆-𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃  𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒,  𝐂𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐃  𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒,  and  𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐒  𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐃  𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓.

* ╱  𝒒 𝒖 𝒊 𝒄 𝒌  𝒔 𝒕 𝒂 𝒕 𝒔

𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘:  olivia clarisse myung  

𝗡𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗦:  vi, oli, no one calls her liv tho

𝗔𝗚𝗘:  twenty-two  

𝗗𝗢𝗕:  january 12, 1997 

𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗢𝗪𝗡:  santa clara, california

𝗭𝗢𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗖:  capricorn sun, pisces moon 

𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡:  bisexual  

𝗢𝗖𝗖𝗨𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡:  tutor

* ╱  𝒃 𝒂 𝒄 𝒌 𝒈 𝒓 𝒐 𝒖 𝒏 𝒅

originally hailing from santa clara, california, the myung family was nothing short of a series of tech success stories. her father a machine learning engineer and her mother a user experience architect, it was to no surprise when olivia's older siblings (a sister 6 years older and a brother 4 years older) followed suit and found themselves pursuing similar careers. they were coded to be a stereotypical silicon valley family, so growing up, expectations were high for olivia, the last of the bunch.

olivia was that girl in school who knew she was smart and made sure everyone around her knew it as well. in high school, a lot of people didn’t really like her because they perceived her as a show-off, which she totally was, but she’s aight once you get past her insecurity-generated superiority complex. her parents were overprotective and pressured her to do better than her classmates, so she just grew up conditioned to be super competitive because she was kind of scared of her parents and therefore scared of failing them.

she majored in statistics at uc berkeley and ended up finishing in three years with plans to go into data analysis (she’s really good with numbers and doesn’t quite understand how people have trouble with math… Nerd).

a few months out of college she got offered a position with a startup company in seattle that she had interned for remotely in the past, so she made the trip to washington!

however, the company later began to experience major losses and had to let go of employees, which unfortunately included cleo, before dissolving completely. she had only been working there for about half a year.

olivia wasn’t ready to return home, wasn’t ready to break the news to her parents that she — in her mind — had failed, so she remained in seattle and kept up this lie of being a successful data analyst for a rising company, when in reality, she put all of her marbles in the wrong bag. she didn’t want to be the one to fail when everyone else in her family was succeeding, she didn’t want to be the disappointment, so she lied. she wasn’t that close with her family, so the vague information that their daughter was making Big Moves would suffice for them to sprinkle into conversations with their colleagues.

currently, she’s trying to get back on her feet and secure a stable position of a similar caliber, but in the meantime, she’s been back and forth between different jobs and also getting paid to tutor people (mostly over skype, sometimes irl). not being certain of what she’s doing terrifies her and Sucks because she’s not used to the feeling of not being good enough.

* ╱  𝒑 𝒆 𝒓 𝒔 𝒐 𝒏 𝒂 𝒍 𝒊 𝒕 𝒚

olivia is like... accidentally blunt a lot ?? not even gonna lie, she really does not think before she speaks sometimes (book smart but not street smart Big Time)

i don't think she ever really had a Solid friend group growing up; she was the type to be on the border and never really belong to any specific set of people

she has, like, Zero patience and a low tolerance for stupidity, so how she manages to tutor people is something many people cannot comprehend

olivia's like the gordon ramsay of academia: rude if u act like u know everything, kinder and understanding if u genuinely want to learn something or get better

her demeanor is so deceiving i would say ?? she's the opposite of someone who looks intimidating but is actually really sweet — she's like a siren or some shit, seemingly approachable but once u do approach, u regret

despite the fact that she's quite cold 90% of first encounters, over time, she does warm up to people, which bring the coldness probability to about a 50% depending on how she feels about u

she’s not heartless i promise !! it’s mostly a front bc she was Played a lot growing up and has some trust issues :// when ur smart n want friends sometimes it’s ok to be used right ?? haha ?? :(( ??

her way of caring for people is .. tbh .. kinda awkward ?? she has compassion but she doesn’t really know how to express it without feeling kinda weird about it KSDLHDS she’s the type that wouldn’t be comforting emotionally but she tries .. her Best in her own way 

did i say rly guarded ?? superiority complex turned impostor syndrome ?? someone PLEASE validate this girl , living in her siblings’ shadows did Not do her well

secretly a romantic but she thinks love is a privilege she hasn’t quite earned yet

in short, i’d say she could be classified as a Classic Tsundere

i feel like i didn't list that many redeeming traits DSGJSDG but she's got some !! she's dependable and a hard worker !! if ur close to her it's ride or die !!

* ╱  𝒇 𝒖 𝒏  𝒇 𝒂 𝒄 𝒕 𝒔

can speak english, korean, french, spanish, and knows asl

owns a large collection of books; really into personal essays

has never been in a serious relationship; claims she’s too busy but really just lacks the ability to be vulnerable so she prefers things to be non-committal

when she was 14 she had a crush on this guy but then people found out and it eventually reached him ;/ he asked her out after school with some people around ;/ she accepted ;/ turned out he was joking ;/

can play the viola, clarinet, and piano

really really really good at rhythm games, especially osu !! played local tournaments before but when her parents found out she was investing a fat chunk of time into the activity, they had her stop ;/ now that she doesn’t live with them anymore, she’s taken it up again

surprisingly holds her alcohol well and is an affectionate drunk; perhaps if u met olivia when she's drunk she wouldn't be as intimidating

incredibly bad at responding to text messages !! it's like a roulette, she either replies within seconds or the text is lost forever and suddenly it's been months

[crashdevlin]

Good Things: Part 2

part one 

You were lucky, when the demon started making its way through the wake, to be wearing a silver anti-possession amulet. Elvis, Alicia and Jody weren't so lucky. 

At one point, you were searching the manor with Mary, the stunningly beautiful and young mother Winchester. "I saw how Dean was looking at you. His father used to look at me like that." She said, quietly, not looking at you. She concentrated on clearing the room.

"Oh?" You couldn't think of anything better to say.

"I rejected John when he first asked me out. He was a Marine. I didn't want a soldier. Spent my whole life around hunters, didn't need more of the macho BS in my world." Mary finally turned to look at you. "Dean looks at you like he's trying to figure out how to win you over."

You cleared your throat. "I... don't... Dean has a reputation." You weren't sure why that was what came out of your mouth.

"I've heard." She confirmed.

"And I'd've been fine with that rep, but he was talking about some chick he had a connection with and I'm not the kind of chick guys like Dean cheat on their girlfriends with... I mean... I can't... Look at me."

"He doesn't have a girlfriend." Mary put her hand on your shoulder. "You should talk to him when this is over."

You did. After the exorcism, as you were watching Asa, Randy and Elvis being sent home in smoke, you bit your lip and approached him. "Thought I should actually say 'Goodbye' this-"

"You should come to breakfast with us." He interrupted. "We're takin' Mom to get some bacon. What do you say?"

You smiled. "Well, does this look like a body that says 'no' to bacon?"

You sat between Sam and Jody in a diner booth in North Dakota. Dean sat across from you, sharing a large plate of bacon with Mary. "Okay, craziest thing you've ever hunted?" Dean asked.

"Uh, probably the transsexual witch who cursed her community college to wake up in the body of someone of the opposite sex so they'd understand how she felt." You answered, before taking a bite of pancake.

"When you say 'she'..." Sam trailed off. It was a genuinely curious question.

"Born 'Michael', became 'Michelle'."

"What'd you do with her?" Mary asked, drinking down some coffee.

"Well, she hadn't actually hurt anyone, just confused the fuck out of 'em for about 16 hours, and she did it out of an overwhelming desire to be understood, so I put her in contact with a Wiccan priestess I know. Last I heard, she was flourishing in her new coven, really embraced the 'Harm ye none' thing."

"Wicca is new agey white-" Dean started to explain, but Mary shot him a death glare.

"Gardnerian witchcraft has been around since the Fifties, Dean. 'Wicca' replaced 'Witch' because the hippies wanted to beat the negative connotations, wanted everyone to know they weren't wart-covered crones in candy houses trying to curse everyone and eat little children."

"Oh, we met her." Sam spoke up.

"Who?" You and Jody chimed in together.

"The witch from 'Hansel and Gretel'. She was turning crappy adults into shitty kids so that she could eat them. Hansel was in on it."

You looked between the brothers. "You're bullshitting."

"Swear to God. She was one of the last old-timey witches from the Grand Coven. Probably only a small handful of 'em left. Rowena doesn't count." Dean answered Sam's unasked question.

"Who's Rowena?"

"A tiny Scottish ball of fury and dark magic. Not really evil, but definitely not one of the good guys." Dean responded.

"She got kicked out of the Grand Coven for being too ambitious." Sam followed up.

"Not to mention: you know Crowley? That's his mom."

"Crowley, the demon?" You asked.

"Crowley, the douchebag." Jody snorted derisively.

You laughed. "Okay. Somebody else, weirdest hunt you ever been on?"

"There was a Shifter who spent a year following Paul Simon's tour. He was killing people who had tickets to the shows so he could take their spot." Mary said, around a piece of bacon.

"Being the reason Bobby Singer found out Leviathans are allergic to borax was pretty weird." Jody provided.

"What's a Leviathan?"

"They almost ate the world, what, five years ago?" Sam asked Dean, who nodded. "They were seriously low-key about it, though. I'm not surprised you haven't heard of them."

"You sound like a hipster." You laughed. "So, what about you two? The legendary Winchester Brothers must have been on some ridiculous hunts."

"Oh, all kinds. Let's see, top of my head. Bloody Mary, killer clown ghost, haunted movie set where I got really into my role as PA, we killed Santa, the angels once wiped our memories and gave us new identities working office jobs. There was that time with the dragons. Oh, and when we went back in time and met Samuel Colt and killed a phoenix." Dean went through the list alternating between excitement and boredom.

"Not to forget everything Gabriel did to us. That was all ridiculous. Oh, and that alternate universe Balthazar sent us to where our lives were a moderately successful primetime TV show." Sam added.

"And Chuck's books about us."

"And finding out that Chuck was God."

"And not dying in the dust-up between God and his sister." Dean turned to Mary with a smile. "And getting Mom back as reward for mediating a reconciliation between them."

You stared at the table, going through everything you just heard. "Holy shit." You gasped out, finally. "I... I knew you guys started and stopped the apocalypse a few times, but... holy shit. Back and forth through time, alternate realities, you know God and he has a sister?!"

"You should stick around. We're bound to blow your mind some more. Crowley and our angel friend, Cas, are working together to find Lucifer, who was most recently seen in the body of has-been glam rocker, Vince Vincente."

"Oh, holy... Lucifer was in Ladyheart."

"No, Lucifer was in a dude who was in Ladyheart." Dean corrected.

"Wow. Your lives really are legendary."

"Well, you never know. Stick around. It might rub off on you. Then, you could be a legend." Jody nudged you, lightly, as Mary looked down with a smile. The moms were conspiring together.

"Yeah, well... I'm not sure if I could handle that."

"You don't know til you try, do you?" Dean smirked at you from across the table.

You took a deep breath. You had one more tool in your tool-bag to try to fend off whatever the hell was happening here: blunt, honest confrontation. "You are putting in a lot of effort here to get your 'I Fucked A Fatty' badge, aren't'cha?"

Everyone at the table jerked and the mood immediately fell into a limbo of apprehension as Dean blinked at you. "What?" He said after several long seconds.

"Oh, come on. This is obviously some Playboy Scavenger Hunt, right? Your list of conquests, a 'Fuck-it List'?" You took a bite of your pancake and looked pointedly across the table at him. "I'm a novelty, right? Bang a black chick, bang a latina, a milf, a mature... twins?"

Dean nodded, slowly, and licked his lips. "You think I've been flirting with you, trying to get you in bed, so that I can cross 'fat chick' off my list? Just makin' sure I got this right." You took a drink of your coffee and returned his uncomfortable gaze. He nodded again, then leaned forward. "When I was twenty-three, I met a chick named Ursula Green at a bar. She was five-foot-nothing, three hundred pounds, wearing a red halter top and a skirt with a split in the side clean up to her hip. She danced like no one was watching and threw a beer bottle at the redneck who told her to 'take her fat ass home' and I grabbed two nice big handfuls of her ass when I took her back to her home that night."

You swallowed. His green eyes bored into your soul as he continued. "She crossed 'fat chick' off my list." The way he said it was like he couldn't believe he was saying those words. "Now, I don't know what you've heard about me and I'm sure that I've earned a bit of that reputation... but I am not gonna sit here and let you think that I've been talkin' to you just because you're a little on the chunky side and that makes you a novelty. I don't know what kinda men you generally let into your life, y/n, but I don't play games like that."

You opened your mouth but no words came out. The other three occupants of the booth table all looked very uncomfortable, so you cleared your throat and stood. You threw a ten dollar bill on the table and walked out of the diner. 

"Where the hell are you going?"

"I'm going home, Dean." You grabbed the handle of your driver's side door and pulled your key.

"Yeah, I got eyes, y/n." He growled, putting a hand on your car door to keep you from opening it. "Why?"

You turned to him, exasperated. "Because I don't know what to do!" You shouted, pulling away from your door and leaned against the backseat window. 

"I've never had a man want me for anything more than a single-night novelty fuck, or worse a pity fuck, Dean, and I don't know what to do about a man like you wanting-"

"What do you mean, 'a man like me'?" Dean interrupted.

"A preposterously handsome biblical hero who shouldn't even look at a woman like me."

"What do you mean 'a woman like you'?" Dean shook his head. "Look, y/n, more than what I saw from you last year and-and what I saw from you with Jael last night, I have asked about you. Every hunter I've talked to since Spirit Lake has a story about you, some way that you've helped them in the past." You opened your mouth to argue that you weren't anything special and you'd always just done what any hunter would do, but Dean stepped closer to you and you were suddenly struck with how tall the man was. "You think outside the box, you put others first, you are the epitome of selfless and goddamn it, you're gorgeous."

You looked down. "That's not true..."

"Stop acting like you don't see it." Dean demanded.

For some reason you needed to resist him. "See what? I've got mirrors in my house, Winchester. I see-"

"You obviously don't see. You don't see what I see."

"Are you kidding me?! You really expect me to believe that you met me, spent two days with me, and I-I somehow impressed you enough that you've spent the last year with me on your mind? I'm not an idiot!"

"Yeah, not an idiot but you sure are blind." Dean took another step closer to you, looking down at you with a confused annoyance. "Fuck, y/n. Why the hell won't you-"

"Because it's too good to be true!" You exclaimed, pushing off from the side of your car and standing up to him, ignoring that his height was so intimidating. 

"Good things don't happen to me, Dean, they never have. So when I have a stunningly handsome man telling me I'm gorgeous, it sets off my bullshit alarm."

"Good things don't happen to you because you run away as soon as they start!" Dean insisted. "You think those extra pounds around your middle are your defining characteristic, but they aren't. That weight is nothing and you need to stop focusing so much on it. I didn't even clock you as fat until you started that shit inside. This isn't bullshit, y/n. I leave my lies for when I'm on a hunt."

You bit your lip and looked up into his stunning green eyes. "Dean, I-"

His face softened. "I'm not trying to get you to jump in bed with me, y/n." He reached out and brushed a stray hair out of your face. His hand rested against your ear and his fingers twirled your hair. "But don't run. Stay. Let the good things happen... in their own time."

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and presented it to him. "Put your number in. I'll text you."

"You're still gonna leave?" He asked, disappointed, as he took a step back and took the phone out of your hand.

"I've got a hunt in Tennessee. Only reason I'm not on it already was for Asa." You answered. "But... I'm interested in... letting the good thing... this good thing... happen."

"The cautious approach. I'm all right with that." He said, tapping his thumbs against the screen of your cell phone. "I just texted myself so that I have your number, too. A warning: I drunk text." He smiled as he handed your phone back.

"Okay. As long as you don't send pictures I haven't requested... I'm okay with that."

"There gonna be pictures you do request?"

You chuckled, turning your forgotten key in the driver's door. "Maybe, Winchester."

"Can I request pictures?" He asked, as you got into your car.

"Not yet." You smiled as you turned your engine over and headed out. 

Part Three

[kdfrqqg]

Naughty or Extra Special Naughty part two -- Yes, please

Crowley x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Naughty or Extra Special Naughty part one   Advent Challenge Master list

A/N: Part one was written for @webcricket advent challenge. I had a few requests to write a part two/continuation piece.  This did not start out as a plus size piece but I know my plus size girls need some Christmas Crowley love too.

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, BDSM, bad Christmas jokes, language 

Crowley wasn’t going to let you get away before making you his, he followed after you capturing your wrist twirling you into him. His lips were firm as he slid them across your mouth, you opened yourself to him as you tasted his delicious tongue.  “Tell me you want this?” he asked lowly.

“Yes, please.” You kissed back closing your eyes tight.  He popped you out of the parking lot and when you opened your eyes again you were strapped to a bed with leather bindings.  Looking down you noticed you were in a tacky red crushed velvet get up with fuzzy white trim, and there was something tight around your neck but you couldn’t figure out what it was.  You struggled at the restraints a little, you could easily break them if you really tried but you thought this was kind of exciting.  Then you saw him move in the distance, Crowley came out of the shadows in a pair of fitted red and white boxers with a leather dog collar on, you realized that you had to be wearing the matching one and that was what was so tight around your neck.

“How do you like being on my extra special naughty list?” He questioned smacking his hand with a black leather riding crop.

“I don’t know Santa are you going to stuff my stocking?” You asked biting your lip with a chuckle. “Oooo or am I going to get to jingle your bells?”

He had to hold back a laugh only giving you a smirk.  “Oh you have been hanging with Dean too long, Love, those bad jokes are rubbing off on you.”  You both laughed at his comment.  

He ran the crop up your thick thigh, over your sex and down the other leg, causing your breath to hitch.  Once more he swiped it up your leg, now lifting your embarrassingly short skirt showing him your panties, “So wet for me already.” He liked the small moist spot forming, “Do you like being my submissive?”

A quick chuckle escaped your lips, then your face went stern, “Do I look like a submissive to you?”

“In those bindings you do.”

You snorted giving him some serious side eye, “Let me out of these and I’ll peg that handsome ass of yours.”

He shook his head not believing what you just said. “Damn and you kissed me with that mouth.”

“I’ll do more with this mouth than just kiss you.” You insinuate, he raised his eyebrow at your comment giving you a sly grin.

He moved the riding crop by your amble breasts and over your meaty arms, sending a tingling sensation through your whole body.  “How naughty have you been this year, little girl?”

“I've been very naughty, and I need some punishment.” You giggled at how silly you sounded.

With your confession, he glided the leather over your plump legs again, raising his hand to bring the crop over your thigh.  You whelped out in surprise, it didn't hurt a lot more of a slight sting.  “Do you need more?” He asked.

“Yes, please Santa I need more!” Your voice was breathy.  

There was a loud pop when he brought down the crop on your other thigh even harder this time. “Ouch!” You told him.

“Did I hurt you too much?” He questioned earnestly.

“Yes, but I've had worst.”

“What do you want?” His teeth ghosted over your clavicle.

“Just you.  I want to touch you all over.”

“But I like you like this.” He admitted his eyes were dark and lustful. Climbing on the bed, he sat on his knees over top of you.  This angle was the best, you could see only the outline of his enormous bulge, biting your bottom lip you tried to looking away but you didn’t even know why you tried.  Your eyes just kept wandering back as he kissed over your squishy torso.  Small moans came from you wanting to lick, suck and touch him.  

He watched you strain against your bonds, “Please Crowley, I need to feel you.”  

“You asked so nicely.” He pulled down his underwear, finally showing you what you wanted so badly.  “Do you want my cock, (Y/N)?”

“Yes, yes please.” You lifted your head up as he guided his tip into your mouth.  You wanted to do more but in this position he had all the control.  He fondled your breasts making your nipples stand up firm,  he bent his body, pulling down your top seizing your tit in his mouth.  He bit down pulling a moan from you, he swirled around your large areola.

He sat up and his eyes bore into you as you sucked his thick cock, circling his head with your tongue.  “Mmmmm you do that so well.” He moaned leaning back his head pushing his cock farther into your mouth.  He picked up the pace grabbing a hold of your collar fucking your mouth good when he abruptly pulled away.  You huffed feeling a sense of loss. “Oh do you want more little girl?”

“Yes, please.” You said with a smile.

“Do you want out of these?” He played with the velcro on the leather restraints.

“Yes, please.” You continued to say playing along with his game.

“Maybe not just yet.” He teased keeping you tied up.  You whined and pouted, “Put away that sad face or I won't let you out at all.”  He lowered himself over your body, his hot breath blew over your neck as he trailed kisses down to your wanting bosom. Your hips bucked up desiring to feel some friction, his throbbing cock rubbed deliciously close to your core.  Your head fell back just enjoying his expert hands on your body.  A loud rip of fabric, tore you from inside your own head as you looked down. “These needed to come off.” He held up your red lace panties.

“If you say so!” You smirked at him.

Thick fingers pressed inside your pussy causing you to moan, his thumb swirled over your clit, “I bet you taste so sweet.” He gazed in your eyes before he continued to lower himself down until his lips were right in front of your sex.  He licked slowly savoring your taste, his tongue dipped deep into your entrance.  

You calmed your breathing not feeling anything this good in so long. Normally, you were the giver not the reciever, men would use you just to satisfy their needs.  “Oh yes!” You screamed wanting to be released from your bindings, your large hips wiggled and flexed with his movements. You gasped and groaned, as he lap up your juices, his tongue flattened hitting just around your hood but not touching your clit.  He was teasing you making you whine and want him even more.  

Squirming under his touch, he thrust his tongue in and out, he looked up at you being driven crazy, he snapped his fingers and you were no longer bound to the bed.  Your hands flew into his dark brown hair as he buried his whiskers into your pussy, the ecstasy and bliss of the moment was so overwhelming, your knees rose up boxing his ears, “Fuck! Oh God! Yes please!” you yelled when your release hit you forcing your whole body to shake.  

He held you down continuing to work over your sensitive bud until you giggled uncontrollably squeezing your thighs together, Crowley sat up from between your legs as you rolled over on your side. “How do you like being on the list, my lovely?”

“I'm learning to enjoy it.” You looked over your shoulder as he snuggled up to your side, rubbing his huge member against your ass.

“Are you ready for me come down your chimney?” He asked with a snicker.

You rolled your eyes, “Now who’s making bad jokes?”

“But you love it.” He responded kissing your neck. “I need to hear you say it, Darling.”

Smirking, “Yes, please!” You moaned breathy.

He pumped his cock a few times before he slipped is blunt head into your soaking wet cunt, he let out the deepest moan as his cock filled you, stretching you inch by agonizing inch. One hand wrapped under your body groping your large breast while the other sweeped over your full hip gripping you tight with his fingertips.  He slid in and out slowly, “Fuck little girl! I knew these generous hips would feel amazing.”  You wanted to shy away from his comment on your size.  He could sense you tense up knowing he should have never said that.  He would have been more rough with you but he knew he needed to be tender as he lay sweet kiss after sweet kiss on your skin. “You are so beautiful and soft, (Y/N).”

You whimpered melting into his touch and kind words, “No, I’m not beautiful.” You hid your face a little.

He moaned, “Darling, you really are.” His hand tilted your face towards him, his pouty lips pressed hard against you as he thrusted even rougher now. “I only like beautiful things and you are ranked as one of my favorites.” Sharp nails dug into your hips while he flipped you over on your hands and knees.  

Your fat ass jiggled as his hips slammed up against you, his cock head kept fucking you with such a concentrated force that it didn’t take long before you were screaming his name and telling him not to stop as your core clenched around him. “Shit! Yes!” You yelled while he came harder than any man you had ever felt.  Your body slumped down once you finished shaking through your orgasm.  You puffed air out trying to calm your racing heart.  “Oh Oh” you fell onto the bed. “Crowley, I can’t believe that just happened.”

He dropped himself facing you. “Me either but I’m glad it happened, Love. Would you want to do this again?” He reviewed your face seeing that you were a little unsure of his suggestion.  “It could be in secret.”

“Only if it’s in secret. Then yes, please!” Your lips crashed into his.

“Then I will keep you as my secret naughty girl.” He smiled smacking your plump ass forcing you to giggles as you let out a fake cry.

I love all the likes and reblogs but I really do want your feedback. Please leave me a comment; let me know what worked or what didn’t. If you hated it let me know what I could do different. It may determine how I write my next fic.

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[softestsquish]

Tag, I’m it

@mochifordays u lucky i love you

RULES: Answer these 85 statements about yourself then tag 20 people

LAST…?

1. Drink: Water

2. Phone call: My cousin

3. Text message: Mum

4. Song you listened to: Shinee - I want you

5. Time you cried: uhh January or February

6. Dated someone twice: :) 

7. Kissed someone and regret it: sadly

8. Been cheated on: don`t think so

9. Lost someone special: Not yet

10. Been depressed: no

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Two or three times

12. Favorite color: Orange

13. Favorite color: Red

14. Favorite color: Orange/Red

IN THE LAST YEAR YOU HAVE…?

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: yyyyyyyyyymaybe?

17. Laughed until you cried: @mochifordays is guilty of that

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yup

19. Met someone who changed you: don`t think so

20. Found out who your friends are: Yes

21. Kissed someone in your Facebook friends list: mhm

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: less than half

23. Do you have any pets: UGH YES A FUCKING CAT AND SHE’S SO LAZY AND DOESN`T LOVE ME MOST OF THE TIME BUT SHES SO CUTE I LOVE HER SO MUCH IM :(((((

24. Do you want change your name: nah

25. What did you do for your last birthday: went out with my best friends and laughed at everything

26. What time did you wake up today: 8 am or so

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: talking with a friend

28. What’s something you can’t wait for: redecorating my room it looks like a 5yr olds rn

29. Last time you saw your mother: 1 min ago

30. What are you listening to right now: Outro : Tear

31. Have you ever talked to a Tom: no

32. Something that is getting on your nerves: people that act like they’re the shit but they aint

33. Most visited website: Youtube, Twitter, Tumblr and Web Whatsapp

34. Hair color: some shitty dark brown to light brown ombre that`s actually just my hair growing out 

35. Long or short hair: do i have to pick one? 

36. Do you have a crush on someone: i guess

37. What do you like about yourself: I`m pretty blunt, so that :D also the fact that i can grow my nails for months and they don`t break

38. Want any piercings: only in my ears

39. Blood type: have no idea

40. Nickname: I don`t have any really?? but some of my friends call me “ little one “ cause im small :)

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Zodiac: Gemini

43. Pronouns: She/Her

44. Favorite TV show: Stranger Things

45. Tattoos: do pen tattoos count?

46. Right or left handed: Right

47. Ever had eye surgery: Not yet

48. Piercings: Ears

49. Sport: professional food eater and sleeper

50. Vacation: spend it as much as i can with friends

51. Trainers: ??

MOST GENERAL

52. Eating: i just had a big ass watermelon 

53. Drinks: anything fizzy or iced coffee

54. I am about to watch: Flash

55. Waiting: for my asshole guy friend to reply to my msg

56. Want: to dye my hair again

57. Get married: sure why not

58. Career: probably a manager or smth

WHICH IS BETTER

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs

60. Eyes or lips: Eyes

61: shorter or taller: taller

62. Older or younger: my age or older

63. Nice arms or stomach: arms

64: hookup or relationship: relationships

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER

66. Kissed a stranger: no

67. Drank hard liquor: yes

68. Turned someone down: yup

69: Lost glasses: no

70: Sex on first day: i wish

71. Broken someone’s heart: yeah

72. Had your heart broken: yea

73. Been arrested: close enough

74. Cried when someone died: no

75. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…?

76. Do you believe in yourself: i like to think i do

77. Love at first sight: if the guy is hot maybe

78. Santa clause: nah that shit got ruined thx mom

79. Miracles: yeah

80. Angels: yes

OTHER

81. Best friends name: @mochifordays <------ big fat loser

82. Eye color: hazel

83. Favorite movie: don`t think I have one :\

84. Favorite actor: DOES KIM MOTHERFUCKING TAEHYUNG COUNT BC HIM 

@brenduuhhh28 and @shimmyshimmyfukmeup cause im a loser and don`t have any other friends