#feel free to add/disagree with me in the notes

[lesbianspeedy]

What are your favorite musicals? Besides Six and Hadestown, of course

Also also!

Assigne musicals to each arrowfam member. It can be what you think would be their favorites or just something that makes you think of them

besides them, legally blonde and newsies :] legally blonde the musical is better than the movie i will not be silenced. just cannot be topped. and i saw newsies live recently and it kinda changed my fucking brain chemistry, it's also the show that got me INTO musicals! also im so sorry if u actually know me enough to know how insane i am about hadestown and six, no one deserves to be witness to who i become when i talk about them

i've definitely done this in a groupchat but i cant remember if i ever posted it so if not this is a great excuse to actually do so, thank u anon

ollie - (this will ignore in-universe canon references to cats and singin in the rain, tho i do think singin in the rain would be my choice otherwise) hadestown or come from away, unions, romance, and community innit. (i'd add newsies but i think ollie would refuse to watch it out of anti-disney principals. also maybe les mis but i dont feel qualified to say that bc i still havent forced myself to watch the stage version ive only seen the shitty film adaptation ((im so sorry)))

dinah - hate mosts musicals for the principle of it, will however watch chicago any time (but she used to be mine from waitress makes me think of her)

connor - waitress, i dont even have a reason for this im just Right

roy - mamma mia! roy has 3 dads and also great frog were for SURE an abba cover band

mia - heathers and moulin rouge, if u get it u get it if u dont u dont (i also spend about 50% of my time debating mia's relationship with R.E.N.T in my mind so theres that)

emi - outwardly hates them, secretly a legally blonde stan

lian - matilda, yes im mostly choosing this bc she is a child

(these are all incorrect, all of them have the same fave musical and its hit show spider-man: turn off the dark ((i cant lie ollie would fuck with some of the songs in that show, just like me fr)))

[midnightrings]

Ship Analysis: Remus & Tonks (Part 1)

Some time back when I’ve been writing a oneshot for Remus and Tonks, I thought about doing a quick analysis of their relationship. I finally found the time to do so – even though I don’t have the books with me right now (so I hope I remember everything correctly lmao). I don’t think I’ve ever done this but because this fandom is so big and they barely have any scenes together, I feel like canon, fanon and fan theories get confused a lot, so I thought it would be interesting (for me, at least) to just kinda look at what’s actually in the text and to try and interpret those parts.

Even though they don’t actually have that much content, I still split up the posts in two different ones, because I never know when to add read-more but also don’t want to disrupt anyone’s timeline with a long ass post. So the first post will cover OotP and HBP, the second one the last book and my final thoughts :)

Also, I basically already stated this before but just for clarification: when I mean ‘canon’ I’m talking about what’s actually in the books. All those extra information published outside of the books are just that: extra information, but not canon (for me, at least).

Order of the Phoenix

Tonks makes her first appearance during this book, and while her and Remus appear in several scenes together they hardly ever interact with one another. One of the few times they do is in the beginning of the book, when Remus introduces Tonks by her full name and she says her most recognizable line “Don’t call me Nymphadora”. The second one is a conversation they are having at Grimmauld Place, before Harry’s trial. They also carry Harry’s luggage together and get the kids back to Hogwarts after Christmas. It’s clear they don’t dislike each other, but there is not much more to their relationship. It could range from being mere colleagues to friends to even (secret) lovers.

I think it’s safe to say that their relationship wasn’t planned and most likely a last-minute decision as there would probably be more hints to the nature of said relationship otherwise. Which isn’t a bad thing btw, just an observation.

Half Blood Prince

Now, we get actually introduced to their relationship. Interestingly, they don’t interact with one another until the very end (actually interact less than they did in OotP, probably). Remus is on a mission, so we only see him appear a few times, and while we see Tonks more often, her character is written more like a red herring (that honestly wasn’t resolved/written that well imo).

Nonetheless, there are many hints towards their relationship throughout the book. When we meet Tonks for the first time here (and realize she isn’t doing too well, to put it lightly), she declines an invitation made by Molly, which also mentions Remus would be present, showing she has no interest in seeing him, at least not publically. Shortly afterwards, as the trio and Ginny discuss Tonks and her current state, Hermione talks about her suffering from survivors’ guilt and that apparently Remus has tried talking her out of it. How Hermione knows that remains a mystery but he was clearly mentioned on purpose here. However, there is no context on what that purpose was or when it happened. Perhaps it was simply made to show the reader that they are clearly close (prior to revealing how close), considering their relationship was not very defined during OotP.

Later on, we learn that Tonks’ Patronus has changed, which Snape teases her about. This was definitely written re: Tonks as a red herring, but I find it quite interesting that Snape (out of all people) knows what’s going on between them, so it's clearly not a secret. Obviously, we later learn that basically everyone in the Order knows, but I find it hard to believe that neither Ginny nor Hermione or even Ron know about it. Yeah, Harry is not very observant – though he does show quite an interest in Tonks throughout this book (for plot reasons, mainly) – but none of the others knowing feels a bit unlikely to me, tbh.

Anyways, at Christmas, Tonks is mentioned two times to Remus. One is by Harry re: her Patronus change, which Remus is clearly uncomfortable about. The other one is Molly, telling Remus (angrily) that Tonks declined her invitation. Two things I find interesting here: First, Tonks declined an invitation by Molly that involved Remus for a second time, showing that she’s probably been trying to avoid him. Second, Remus doesn’t really react to Molly’s ‘accusation’ but is uneasy around Harry’s question. Now, this is probably overanalyzing this lmao but I find it an odd choice writing wise to not have him react. Perhaps, he simply tries to block out Molly’s attempt to guilt trip him here (and is probably annoyed by it too, as I doubt that was the first time), but when Harry is mentioning the Patronus, he is essentially confronted with something that shows the genuineness of Tonks’ feelings for him.

Later, we meet Tonks in extreme distress at Hogwarts after she heard about a werewolf attack. Interestingly, she tried to reach Dumbledore (who wasn’t there), hinting that perhaps he has provided her with information about Remus’ whereabouts prior. It also shows how much Remus’ absence and mission are affecting her emotionally.

Eventually, we reach the hospital wing scene and their first interaction in this book. The scene reveals that Tonks’ character change had been due to Remus, because she was in love with him, but he rejected her. However, he did not reject her because he did not replicate her feelings, but because he was ‘too old’ (they have an around 10 years age gap), ‘too poor’ (he’s been unemployed for the majority of his life) and ‘too dangerous’ (he’s a werewolf). Tonks states that she does not care about any of this, and again seems in clear distress. Remus can’t look her in the eyes but everyone else seems to be on Tonks’ side (well, Arthur and McGonagall, as well as Molly, though not in this scene iirc). At the end of the book, they are shown to be together, as they are holding hands at Dumbeldore’s funeral, and Tonks has regained her metamorphic abilities. Both of those things – holding hands and Tonks regaining their powers – are obviously used to show they are in a relationship now without directly telling it, though it also hints at Tonks losing her powers due to Remus’ rejection.

So, there’s a bit to unpack here. First, Tonks’ emotional (and mental) state. She seems to be suffering from depression throughout the book, which can be seen through her change in personality, numbness as well as irritability. Hermione states in the beginning that she has been badly affected by Sirius’ death as she feels like she could’ve prevented it if she had won the fight against Bellatrix. She has a breakdown when she is unable to reach Remus after fearing he might be in danger, so his mission (and it’s danger as well as his absence, possibly) is affecting her emotionally as well. And last, we see her regain her metamorphic powers when Remus und her start dating, meaning that his rejection most likely fueled into all that as well.

What is also noticeable is that Tonks was clearly trying to avoid him, declining invitations by Molly on two different occasions. Why was never stated, though considering how she reacted when they were together in the hospital wing scene, perhaps she wanted to avoid any drama and/or knew how that might impact her (and everyone involved, considering guilt is often also a major part of depression) negatively. We do not know whether Remus was avoiding her too. He is on his mission throughout majority of the book. In the beginning, Hermione stated that he had tried talking to Tonks, but we obviously don’t know the context of it. The way Hermione talked about it means it probably happened after Tonks was already showing signs of depression, probably already losing her powers, but in what context of their relationship he tried to talk to her, we simply don’t know, so it could’ve been prior to him rejecting her. Later, at Christmas, after Molly said Tonks declined her invitation, she asks Remus if he talked to her recently, which he replied with by saying he had barely any contact to anyone. I think it is to some extent safe to assume that they have been avoiding each other, though Tonks perhaps more than Remus, and that they most likely have not talked to one another for almost a year.

Perhaps this could present one explanation on why Remus changed his mind in regards to dating Tonks. If he had rejected her several times throughout the year. Essentially, we see them argue and then the next time they are together they are holding hands, with no explanation whatsoever. If, however, he had rejected her and then they had not talked for months, that could explain why – now that he saw her again, and after probably missing her a lot – he would change his mind and start a relationship with her. The fact the he could not look her in the eyes adds onto that, as he probably had trouble pushing her away, and was most likely heartbroken (and possibly feeling guilty) at seeing her like this. A counter-argument here is however that Tonks states in the hospital scene that she has 'told him a million times' that she does not care about his arguments against the relationship. So they definitely had that discussion quite a few times before, though we do not know when.

Mainly I believe the reason he reconsidered was due to the war and Dumbledore’s death. The entire theme and setting for the rest of the book is basically ‘the calm before the storm’: They all know they are at war now, a war that is just getting started, and they won’t know who will survive and what will become of their world. Taking McGonagall’s words and their storyline in the last book into consideration, Remus probably just ignored his own doubts and worries for a moment because he realized they did not matter either way anymore (basically just said ‘fuck it, let’s do this’).

-> Part 2

[itsallyscorner]

At Fault | MV1

pairing: Max Verstappen x reader

summary: Max invites his ex to a gp and upsets you. Soft and stubborn Max, but he’s a cutie. A mix between angst and fluff, but mostly fluff towards the end. Lots of reader just ranting. Plus a little cameo from the Ferrari WAGs <3.

warnings: Does Kelly count as a warning? Kinda of toxic, I’m not really sure? But who actually likes seeing their boyfriend’s ex girlfriend??

author’s note: Italics are flashbacks! This turned out longer than expected, but I hope you guys like it! It’s also been a while since I’ve written fics, so it there are any errors pls ignore them😭

The tension in the car was thick. So thick, Max believed he could cut it with a knife.

Your arms were crossed as you stared out the window while Max glanced at you wearily every other second. Thankfully, there were only three of you in the car. You and Max in the backseat, and the driver in front being separated by a divider. Though, Max was sure the driver was able to hear the current disagreement between you and him.

Max fidgeted with the lanyard of his paddock pass and stared at the side of your face. He knew he had upset you and honestly you had every right to be. You were biting the inside of your cheek in frustration trying to keep your emotions at bay. As much as you wanted to argue with Max about how you disagreed with his actions, he was due to race in a couple of hours and you didn’t want to add any more stress on his shoulders.

But Max wanted to talk about this now while you were both alone.

“Schatje, are you really mad?” Max asked quietly, leaning closer to you and trying to get you to face him. He truly didn’t mean to dampen your mood before the race. Most importantly, he didn’t like that he was the reason for you being upset. Your brows furrowed ever so slightly and a faint pout was on your lips, both indications that you were in fact not happy with him.

“Yes, Max, I am mad.” You answered, your voice trembling a bit. You had finally turned away from the window and were looking at him. Max felt a pang of guilt in his heart once he saw the look in your eyes. They weren’t glaring at him with the heat of anger, but they were soft and glossy, you were hurt—he hurt you.

Max cautiously reached out for your hand and tangled your fingers together, though your hand felt limp, like you didn’t want to hold his hand at all.

“I told you the truth.” Max said, leaning his head down trying to catch your eyes again. You took in a deep breath before turning to fully face him.

“Yes Max, you did and I absolutely appreciate it. I really do.” You began, grasping his hand between yours. “But that doesn’t make up for that fact that you’ve had this planned out for nearly a month and only told me thirty minutes ago!” You argued.

Thirty minutes ago, before your ride to the paddock can pick you guys up, Max had revealed that his ex-girlfriend, Kelly, and her daughter would be at the garage to watch the race. When you asked how they got passes to the garage, he shared that he had flown them out and provided them with passes for the weekend.

“So she’s been here all weekend?” You questioned him, arms crossed and a brow raised at him. The Italian heat felt even ten times worse as you grew frustrated with your boyfriend.

“Yeah, but they were at the Paddock Club, they’re going to watch the race from the garage though.” Max shrugged, as if it were not a big deal. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder and grasped your hand in his free one.

You couldn’t help the feeling of insecurity seeping into your bones. Kelly was rich and gorgeous, she was a model, and you weren’t. You had a normal job that offered you stability, paid you good money, and you knew how to clean up nice. However, you were no where near her level of anything or any of the other WAGs at that.

“You’ve known this whole time that she was here?” You asked quietly, your brows furrowed at him. You hated that you kept asking him questions, it was like you were interrogating him.

Max looked down at you, confusion etched on his face, “I did, schatje. I flew them out and got them some paddock passes.” You acted before you could speak, and shook your head at him, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Your boyfriend was one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, however, many people took that as a sign to take advantage of him. While it took him longer to realize it, you noticed it instantly.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset though, I told you the truth, it’s not like I’m doing anything with her.” Max defended himself, his hands wildly moving around. “She reached out telling me that P missed me and wanted to come to a race, it’s not for her, it’s for Penelope.”

“I understand that Max and as harsh as this sounds, Penelope isn’t your responsibility. I get that you helped raise her, but you guys broke up, you don’t need to provide for her anymore.” You threw a hand in the air, emphasizing your point. “Kelly’s fully capable of flying herself out and buying tickets to a race weekend.”

“I was just being nice.” Max raised his voice, also growing frustrated with the situation.

“And she’s still using you!” You fumed, tears welled in the corner of your eyes. “How many times does she have to use you for you to realize it? You guys broke up and she still manages to get what she wants out of you! Do you know how embarrassing it is to walk in and see her there?” You tried to reason with him. While many of his fans didn’t approve of Kelly, you knew Twitter would have a field day clowning you when they find out Kelly was present in the garage. Social media was never always a nice place and you’ve learned to ignore it, but that didn’t mean it stopped the hate from happening.

Max ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“This is ridiculous.” He muttered under his breath, you scoffed and leaned back into your seat, staring at the window again.

“Do you not trust me?” Max asked forcibly, staring at the side of your head again. You let out a defeated sigh and turn your head to look at him, “I do trust you, Max.”

Max’s shoulders slouched as he leaned on the seat sideways, his body fully turned to you.

“Then why do you not trust me with this?” He pushed, nudging your knee with his, trying to get an answer out of you. He knew he was at fault and he just wanted to make it right.

“I don’t trust her.” You simply answered, feeling done with the conversation. The car turned, nearing the entrance of the paddock. You sniffled as you untucked your hair from behind your ears, removing your sunglasses from the top of your head.

“You don’t have to worry about her, schatje. I want you not her, there’s a reason why we broke up.” Max reassured, trying to ease the tension between the two of you.

The car came to a halt, a knock came from the driver, indicating that you guys arrived at the paddock. Before you could leave, you turned to Max and said, “Yet, she’s still here.”

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

Entering the paddock was always a frenzy. The moment you stepped out the car, fans were quick to recognize you, knowing that one of their favorite drivers were right behind you. You slid your sunglasses on and smoothed out the white maxi dress you wore. Max followed in suit and flashed a smile at the fans.

Shouldering his bag, he held his hand out to you, “I know you’re upset, but can I please hold your hand?”

You nodded and entangled your fingers with his. The two of you began your walk into the paddock hand in hand, as fans screamed and waved at Max. He gave your hand a squeeze before guiding you guys to some of the barricades and signing a few things for the fans.

After you guys scanned your passes, Max led you guys to the Red Bull garage. However, you came to a halt. Max was quick to look back at you, “You okay?”

“Yeah—I’m gonna meet up with Alex and Rebecca, if that’s okay? We were planning on seeing each other before the race.” You tell him. A small pout formed on Max’s lips, “Oh, okay, I’ll drop you off.” He offered, still holding your hand.

You and the girls decided to meet up at the Paddock Club. In front of the entrance, Max stood in front of you.

“You’ll come to the garage to watch, right? I need you there.” He asked quietly, so that people passing by cannot hear your conversation.

You nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be there before you’re in the car.”

Max mirrored your actions, “Okay, I love you.” He pulled you in by the waist and pressed a kiss onto your forehead. You squeezed his waist in response, “I love you too.”

Max watched as you entered the building, huffing to himself, while he watched you walk further and further into the building.

Placing your sunglasses above your head, you scan the room until you see one of the girls, Alex was the first to spot you, standing in her spot and waving at you to come over.

“Coucou mon amour!” She greeted you, (Hello, my love!) immediately wrapping you in a hug. You squeal as she squeezed you, “Helloo!” You giggled. You go to greet Rebecca, who is immediately giving you a knowing look. Being the older one amongst the three of you, she was often looked up to as the older sister.

She wrapped an arm around you and smoothed your back, “What’s wrong?” She asked while you got situated in the chair beside her.

You shook your head, “It’s just Max.”

Rebecca grabbed the bottle of champagne on the table and poured some into a flute glass. She offered you the glass, “Thank you, I needed this.”

She smiled watching you take a long sip from the glass, “Oh honey, I know.”

Alex pouted and nudged your foot with hers, “What happened with Max?”

“He invited Kelly to watch the race at the garage today.” You bluntly shared, slumping yourself in your chair.

Rebecca’s eyes widened, “Shut up.”

You raised a brow at her, “Oh, I didn’t even get to the kicker yet.”

Alex’s brows raised, “Which is?”

“He flew her out—he fucking flew her out and gave her tickets for the entire weekend.” You revealed through gritted teeth, still being aware of your surroundings. Rebecca cursed under her breath as Alex took your glass and refilled it with champagne.

Grabbing the glass, you continued, “She’s literally been here all weekend and he only told me this morning. I just don’t get it, they broke up, I don’t know why he’s still so concerned about her.” You took another long sip of champagne,

“What was the reason why?” Rebecca asked you.

“Apparently Penelope missed him—which I can believe, but did he really have to do all the providing when she can financially support herself? I get that he was trying to be nice, but still.” You grunt, fiddling with your glass.

Alex comfortingly rubbed your arm, “No, I get it, if Charles did the same thing with his ex, I’d also be upset.”

“I literally told him that she’s using him once again.” You threw your hands up. “If he wants her to be there so much, he might as well just get back with her. Like—am I crazy for losing my mind at the fact they were in contact with each other, even if it wasn’t in a romantic sense?”

Rebecca shook her head, “No, your feelings are absolutely valid. You’re just concerned and it obviously caught you off guard. He shouldn’t have been texting his ex in the first place.”

You groaned and held your head in your hands, “I hate feeling like this, it makes me question if he actually wants to be with me or not.”

Rebecca held her finger up, “I’m gonna stop you right there.” Placing her hand on your shoulder she says, “Max might be acting very stupid right now, but one thing I know for sure is that Max loves you and absolutely adores you. Without a doubt.”

Alex nodded, agreeing with Rebecca, “Like have you seen the way he looks at you? He literally worships the ground you walk on. I’m sure he’s beating himself up right now for doing what he did.”

“He loves you, (y/n), everyone who’s seen you guys together knows it. I don’t think he’d put himself in this kind of position on purpose, you’ve got that man wrapped around your finger, babe.” Rebecca reassured you, throwing her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into another hug.

“Come on cheer up, who cares if she’s in the garage today? You’re the one he’s gonna be going home with tonight.” You laughed shaking your head at her teasing.

“Hey! Tonight and every single night!” Alex pointed out raising her glass at you.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

Two hours. It’s been two hours since Max has dropped you off at the Paddock Club and he still hasn’t heard back from you. He’s been distracted all day. During a meeting with Christian and some of the engineers, he couldn’t help but constantly check for a text from you, earning himself a scolding from the team principal. Checo and a couple of people from the team tried talking to him, but he wasn’t paying attention. His eyes wandered wondering when you would enter the garage.

He did in fact see Kelly and P—obviously he was expecting to see them since he invited them, but all he felt while talking to them was guilt. Guilty because he remembered the look of hurt and betrayal in your eyes and how he was the reason behind it. He hated it, he felt grimy, and dirty for going behind your back and texting Kelly. Not even ten minutes into catching up with the mother and daughter, Max realized that you were in fact correct. Kelly had used him again, instantly making advances on him despite knowing he was happily taken. But for the sake of P, Max made sure to be friendly though kept his distance to not feed into her mother’s schemes.

It was nearing lights out and you were still not in the garage. He had gone through his warm ups with Bradley, had his fireproofs and suit on, and even laced up his shoes. Still, no sight of you whatsoever in the garage. He was beginning to worry about you, sending you a couple of messages to your phone.

The car was due to be on the grid and there was about half an hour left till lights out. Max looked around the bustling garage, checking to see if you had snuck in without him seeing, though to no avail, you still weren’t there.

“Max…Max…Max?” GP tried to get Max’s attention. Snapping a finger in front of the driver’s face, Max’s eyes flickered over to his race engineer.

“What do you want now?” Max groaned, throwing his head back. To onlookers, it looked like a typical interaction between Max and GP. Though, GP felt like he was babysitting a child whose attention span couldn’t focus on one thing for more than a few seconds.

“Mate, I’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes.” GP claimed. Choosing to ignore the information he had just “briefed” Max on, he decided to be a friend.

“Where’s your head at?” GP asked Max. The Dutch man sighed, leaning against one of the storage units in the garage.

“I messed up with (y/n). I did something and it was my fault, I know it was. But she’s not happy with me at the moment and I just want to make it right.” Max summarized, not sharing any more details to protect the privacy of your relationship.

GP motioned towards Kelly who was talking to one of the other influencers in the garage, “Does it have to deal with that?”

“Unfortunately.” Max mumbled, crossing his arms and choosing to stare at the floor.

GP took a minute to stare at his driver. Max was deflated, he wasn’t as hyped for the race or over explaining some random fact about god knows what. Instead, Max kept to himself, greeting people when he had to and communicating with his team prior to the race. Other than that, Max chose to stare at his phone and look longingly outside the garage.

“Listen, I don’t know what exactly went down. But I’ve seen you with (y/n) and she clearly makes you happy, we’ve all see how lively you are with her around. You’ve got a lot of groveling to do bud, but it’ll be worth it.” GP advised, clapping Max on the back to wake him up.

“She’ll always be worth it.” Max quietly said, taking another glimpse at his phone. Only to be met with his wallpaper of you and him, with no notifications.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

Christian Horner stared at his monitor at the pit wall watching as drivers and their teams gathered on the grid. He saw Checo by his car, taking a few sips of water before the race. When the camera panned to Max’s Red Bull, the driver was no where to be seen. Sparing him a second of wondering where his driver was, the camera cut to the garage where Max stood, race suit at his waist, looking no where near ready to participate in the race.

“Why is Max not in the car?” He turned to GP, stress evident on his face. GP turned in his seat and looked back into the garage to see Max pacing. Cursing under his breath, he excused himself from Christian and rushed to Max.

“Max, the race is literally about to start!”

Max stops his pacing and places his hands at his hips, “I need my girlfriend.”

“What?” Bradley and GP both stuttered out. Max deadpanned at the two men in front of him.

“(Y/n), I need to see her before the race.” Max demanded. Bradley pinched the bridge of his nose, “Max, she’ll be here after the race, you’ll be fine.” He pushed the balaclava towards Max’s chest, who simply let the mask fall at his feet.

GP sighed at Max, before calling one of the Red Bull employees.

“Please send out a search for (y/n), Max is refusing to get in the car.” He whispered to the intern. The girl looked at him confusingly but nodded and set out the garage.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

You rushed as best as you could in kitten heels towards the Red Bull garage. You were supposed to be at the garage at least half an hour ago. You and the girls got caught up catching up with each other’s lives that none of you realized it was getting close to lights out. It truly was a funny sight, the three of you rushing out of the Paddock Club and running through the paddock like a bunch of maniacs.

“(Y/n)!” You heard someone yell. You stopped in your steps and looked around, only to see a girl dressed in Red Bull uniform. You recognized her, you believed her name was Nicole and was an intern for the team this season.

“Hey! Is Max on the grid already?” You approached her, a little sad that you missed seeing him before the race.

“No, he’s actually waiting for you. They’re sending out a search for you because he’s refusing to get in the car.” Nicole explained, placing a gentle hand on your back and guiding you through the crowd of fans and towards the garage.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

GP released a sigh of relief once he saw you enter the garage. He shoved Max’s shoulder to avert his attention to you.

“What—oh,” Max began, only to stop himself and rush towards you. You met him half way, placing a hand on his elbow.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant to stay there for too long.” You quickly apologized. Max shook his head, “I don’t care, I’m just happy you’re here.”

Your brows furrowed at him, “Why are you here? Why aren’t you in the car yet?”

Max placed both his hands on your waist with a faint blush on his cheeks, “I need my goodluck kiss.”

You paused your actions, “You’re kidding me. Max, the race is about to start in five minutes!” You scolded your boyfriend.

“Please, schatje.” He pleaded, leaning closer towards you. Other team members and guests watched the both of you, the scene in front of them peaking their interests.

You gazed up at his stormy eyes, giving in because you knew he was stubborn and wouldn’t stop until he got his way. Plus, the team would hate you if you lowered their chances of scoring points this weekend.

“Just because I kiss you doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you anymore.” You clarified quietly. His forehead nodded against yours, “I know schatje. I promise to make it up to you, I really do.”

A small smile forms on your lips, “I know, Maxie.”

Max takes that as his sign to crash his lips onto yours. One of his hands support the back of your neck while the other rests on your lower back. You smile against his lips, pulling back and placing a peck right above the small mole on his upper lip.

“I love you.” You whispered to him.

“I love you too.” He whispered back. Before you can fully pull away from him he quickly adds, “I’m serious about my promise.”

“I know, baby.” You squeeze him comfortingly. “Now get out there and win the race. Stay safe.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead as both you and GP ushered him towards his gear that’s been waiting to be put on.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

A man of his word, Max won the race. With at least a five second gap between him and Lando, your boy was top step yet once again. As much as he won, the thrill of seeing him win and crossing the finish line never got old. You celebrated every win of his as if it were his first. You’d always be proud of him, whether he got pole or not.

Many of the engineers and members of the team began to rush towards the grid, eager to greet Max once he got out the car.

Looking around, you suddenly make eye contact with Kelly, who seemed to have been sizing you up. You weren’t really sure what look was on her face, but the hints of a snarl were on her lips. With her nose stuck up in the air, you watched as she carried her daughter and began to follow the rest of the team.

“Don’t mind her. You’re the one he wants to see when he gets out that car.” A voice said from beside you. You jumped, coming face to face with Christian. Your eyes widened at your boyfriend’s boss. Prior to the race, he was informed of the search party the entire team had for you to get Max in the car. While he was annoyed earlier, he thought it was rather cute that Max was so fond of you.

“You know, he’s never begged her for a good luck kiss.” Said Christian, a knowing look on his features. “You on the other hand—he can’t seem to function whenever you’re not around.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was gonna put that much of a fight earlier today.” You apologized, feeling a bit flustered. “He’s a bit stubborn sometimes.” You added, to which Christian chuckled at.

“Oh, I know. Max and I have worked together for years.” He stated. He glanced out the garage and motioned towards it, “C’mon now, I’m sure he’s already looking for you.”

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

You make your way through the crowd of Red Bull members, many of them recognizing you and helping you squeeze through till you were at the very front of the barricade.

Max was already out, helmet in his hand, while his other embraced GP and a couple other engineers. You watched as he high-fived Penelope, barely sparing a glance at her mother. A little burst of pride went off in your stomach, you couldn’t help it.

His blue orbs scanned the crowd of red and blue, looking for you. You yell his name, his eyes immediately finding yours. A smile breaks out on his face as he rushed over to you, dropping his helmet in the process. Despite the barricade between you two, he wraps both his arms tightly around you, lifting you off the ground.

“Max!” You squealed, your arms wrapping around his neck. His large hand found your cheek, slightly pulling you away from his neck so he can connect his lips with yours. Naturally, your lips moulded perfectly against his moving in synch. The team erupted in cheers around you.

“I’m so proud of you!” You tell him once your lips separate.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” He grins, gently pinching your bottom lip between his pointer finger and thumb.

He couldn’t stay long, being told that he had to get to the podium for the trophy ceremony.

“I’ll see you after the podium, schatje!” He yelled with a wink over his shoulder, causing a blush to form on your cheeks.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

The ceremony and the media tent took a while, you finally got to see Max an hour later. You were sitting in his driver’s room, when he bursted through the door already looking for you.

You stood up, smiling at him, “Hey.”

He mirrors your smile. Placing the trophy on the couch he opens his arms for you. You walk into the comfort of his hold, burying your head into the crook of his neck and wrapping your arms around his torso.

Finally it was just the two of you.

“I’m sorry.” You said, though it came out muffled against his skin. Max’s hands stopped the circular motions they were rubbing on your back.

“For what?”

You pulled back looking at him, “I overreacted about the whole Kelly thing. I should’ve taken your word for it.”

Max immediately shook his head, disagreeing with you. “No, you were absolutely right about her. I should’ve listened to you from the beginning. The moment I said hi to them she was already trying to come onto me—I avoided her by the way, I just entertained P.”

“I’m also sorry for what I said about P. I was in the wrong for that comment.” You said, a small grimace on your face when you remembered the off hand comment you made about the poor child.

Max chuckled, “Schatje, seriously, it’s okay.”

His calloused hands were rough against the soft skin of your face. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and cradled your jaw in his hand.

“I may have a soft spot for P, but they’re in my past. You’re my future, (y/n). The future that I only want and see myself in.” Max admitted. Your eyes gleamed at him, “You’re the future I want too, Maxie.”

“Good because you’re not getting rid of me that easily. You’re stuck with me.” He joked, squeezing your cheeks.

“I love you. So much. I know it seemed like I didn’t trust you today, but I want you to know that I do. I fully trust you with my life and I mean it.” You said, your fingers playing with the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck.

Max nodded, “I believe you. I love you too.”

The two of you basked in the silence and comfort of being in each others arms. Max was the first one to break the silence, “You don’t have plans after this right?”

You hummed against his neck, “Besides celebrating your win, nothing. Why?”

“Because I’m taking you out on a date.” Max proudly announced, a goofy smile on his lips.

“Don’t you wanna celebrate with the team?” You asked him. Max shook his head, “Nope, the only person I want to celebrate with tonight is you.”

You giggled at Max’s antics, “Whatever you say, Champ.”

[seventeenytiny]

♡ Stray Kids as Dads ♡

Word Count: 637 Author's Note: As always this is just for funsies, feel free to add on your own ideas ♡

Bang Chan

He's such a girl dad and I don't think anyone will disagree with this. His daughter is the apple of his eye, the most precious thing he has ever seen. Everything he does in life is for his daughter and family. He will always do his best to take time off work to not miss big milestones and events. I can imagine him smiling ear to ear watching his child's first choir concert, even if it sounds bad he is still so proud of his baby girl.

Lee Know

I can't quite explain why I view him as a father of twins but I just do, it'll be one boy and one girl. When the two of you found out you were having twins his immediate excitement for it took away all your anxiety. If you choose to breast feed he will do everything he can to help you such as cleaning your pumps and changing diapers so you can rest. When the kids get older he will take great pride in making them healthy and yummy homecooked meals.

Changbin

Girl dad 100%, you can't convince me otherwise. He became very protective of his baby girl the second he saw the ultrasound. He does as much as he can while the baby is a newborn to help develop a bond. This includes things like skin-to-skin cuddles, diaper changes, and baths. When his daughter gets older he will always be picking out the cutest outfits for her.

Hyunjin

Honestly, I could see him as both a girl and boy dad but I think his first might be a girl. I can see him as the dad who plays dress-up with his daughter. He'd let his girl paint his nails, do his hair, and put makeup on him and he'd do the same to her. They'd also do crafts together, once his daughter develops better motor skills he will definitely teach her how to paint.

Han

Baby girl is the father of a baby girl. He loves spending one-on-one time with his daughter. He will take her to the park to play while also allowing his partner to have some quiet time to themselves. When his daughter is a little bit older he will take her on "dates" so she can learn how a man should treat her. By dates, I mean things like daddy-daughter dances where he will bring her flowers, open car doors for her, and treat her to dinner.

Felix

I have a feeling if he decides to have kids he would like to settle back down in Australia. He would love to take his son to all of the places he has fond memories of in his hometown. I'm sure he would be thrilled if his child showed interest in doing taekwondo as well. Everyone will be wondering if his son will have that same signature deep voice he has.

Seungmin

I think he would really like having a child he can play sports with and roughhouse with. Obviously, he can do that with either a girl or a boy but I think he ultimately would like a mini him to play with. He'd love playing catch with his boy and taking him out to sports games. They'd probably play outside all day, rain or sunshine, and always come back in covered in mud and ravenously hungry.

I.N

Like Seungmin, he also can't wait to have a mini him. He and his child will be so mischievous together, they will always be doing stuff like playing pranks on each other. Jeongin also has two brothers so I could see him and his bros taking his son on a classic boy's trip. He will also teach his son how to be the perfect gentleman, the two of them will always come back with flowers for mom.

[dekarios]

i’m actually so interested in this topic so i’m gonna make a poll.

i tend to have way more conflicts with autistic people as an autistic person myself, particularly people who are new to their diagnosis or are simply in their younger twenties or teens. i also have a much harder time in conflict resolution with other autistic people. a standout reason for me is finding difficulty in reaching compromises that make everyone happy, or being so set in our ways we cannot give room. or very simply: we share a special interest but disagree on something to do with it immensely.

i’m wondering if it’s just me who finds the similarities in myself and other autistic people more difficult to navigate than more easy to navigate. feel free to add to this/spam in the notes! but no being mean!!

[thebrookesnook]

okay call me crazy and I know the newest chapter of Wind Breaker just released like over an hour ago, but hear me out: I think I know the deity Nii Satoru used to represent Takiishi.

Part 2: Umemiya Hajime and Fudō Myō-ō

So let's talk about it. Spoilers for Chapter 150!

I believe Takiishi is being represented by a Karura (迦楼羅, かるら). Here's my evidence to this theory:

[Karura (Left) & Karura (Right) were sourced from the same page on Japanese Buddhist Statuary: A to Z Photo Dictionary]

According to my research, karura are said to be a race of mythical fire-breathing bird-men (demigods) originating from Hindu mythology and was later adopted by the Buddhist into their pantheon as a protector deity or in accord. to legends were converted into Buddhism by Buddha and are considered one of the Eight Legions.

While going through my research, I found some interesting connections that may or may not apply to what we know of Takiishi and the imagery of the deity depicted:

Bird-like figure = appearance wise, the deity's depiction looks very similar to that of the karura.

"In Japan, Garuda is an enormous fire-breathing eagle-man with golden feathers and magic gems crowning its head."

- Schumacher, M., Karura

"They are humanoid in appearance, with the heads and wings of eagles. They have red skin, and red and gold feathers. Karura are fearsome. They breath fire from their beaks. The flapping of their wings sounds like thunder, and creates gusts of wind so strong they can dry up lakes, knock down houses, and cover entire cities in darkness. Their gigantic wingspans are 330 yojanas wide, and they can leap 3,360,000 li in a single bound. (The lengths of one yojana and one li vary greatly from country to country and era to era—a yojana can measure anywhere between 1.6 km to over 13 km long, and one li can measure anywhere between 400 m and 3.9 km.)"

- Yokai.com, Karura

Fire symbolism = Karura are said to be fire-breathing creatures. In Takiishi's lastname (焚石), it consists of the characters that roughly translates to "burning stone" (焚, taki = to burn; 石, ishi = stone). Also, his hair. (Note: Need I say more?)

The original Hindu deity's name is Garuda (sanskrit: The Devourer). The name comes from the fact that karura are known for feeding on dragons, more specifically naga or malicious serpents who have not been converted by Buddha, due to a fued between Garuda's mother (Skt. Vinata) and her sister, mother to the naga. Relating this to Takiishi's bloodlust and extremely violent tendencies during fights, perhaps Umemiya is the dragon he wants to "devour", 🤔. (Note: @yellow-gardenia-48 made a really interesting point in the replies about Endo's signature animal being a snake.)

Conclusion: While I'm not 100% certain that this deity is the exact one the mangaka used for the panel, I'm 95% sure that it is. If anyone would like to add anything more in terms of connections between Takiishi and Karura, feel free to do so! Or disagree with me, that's also cool too. I definitely would like to see more discussions on the symbolisms and cultural references Nii Satoru uses in the series so if I can be a jumping point to that, I'd be happy to do so.

(P.S. I am not Japanese but I have been deeply interested in the culture and history. I do my best to use credible sources (both in English and Japanese) and credit them accordingly. However, I am prone to slip ups so if there is anything that requires correction in my post, you may notify me directly through the post via reply/reblog.)

(P.S.S. I have a blog specifically made for wbk content for further post like this so feel free to visit me there @transient-winds )

[jewish-vents]

first - i just want to say thank you for making this blog. it’s so important to know that we aren’t alone in the many things we’re experiencing and feeling right now, especially when so many of us have become painfully isolated as of late.

i apologize for how long this one is going to be.

i’ve been feeling so, so alone recently. my tumblr dash has been cut down to just a handful of jewish blogs that i can trust to be kind and understanding and nuanced, but it means that the majority of the content i see is about antisemitism and the war. after a while, it becomes draining to scroll through what feels like endless sadness. i turned to looking at fandom tags instead of following fandom blogs, but it makes me feel equally as insane to click on a blog about race cars and immediately see a post with 60k notes calling what’s happening in gaza “the new holocaust”. i started going back on twitter, but fan accounts on there too are only safe for a day or so before the account owner shares some awful antisemitic tweet from an account known to be an anti-jewish extremist. i went back on instagram briefly, but i was soon afraid to look at people’s stories for fear i’d see something terrible and lose yet another trusted person from my life.

in person, i have to walk by signs saying “zionism = genocide” and hastily scribbled palestinian flags with the colors in the wrong spot on my way to class every day. a wall across from my apartment says “BDS” in giant letters. i haven’t opened my curtains in months because of it. a “protest” of about 25 people stood in the center of campus and yelled and waved their fists in passing students’ faces, so jewish students didn’t go to class on any of the days they gathered. i only have one non jewish friend left at school - the rest abandoned me because i either called them out on antisemitic rhetoric or refused to go along with the idea that anyone, palestinian or israeli, muslim or jewish, is less than human. i had taken several of them along to our hillel’s seder in the past. i don’t know who i can safely go with this year. i have a few jewish friends, of course, but i love bringing goyische friends with little connection to judaism along to experience how joyful and loving jewish holidays can be.

it feels like there is no escape from this fucking war. it sickens me that it’s the only thing people pretend to care about - where is the attention for sudan, ukraine, armenia, uyghurs in china, syria, guyana? how is putting an emoji in your twitter bio or putting a translucent overlay of the palestinian flag on your tumblr icon any sort of real activism? how have we gone from “antisemitism is wrong” to “(((zionists))) control the world media”? it seems like the war is a fandom to these people. it seems like nobody cares enough to fully read and think critically about what they share, let alone do real research beyond looking at an infographic somebody shared on their instagram story. they’ll add on “don’t forget your click today!” to an unrelated twitter thread that went viral, flip the bird at the local starbucks, and put “won’t you free my palestine” on their instagram stories. they’ll anonymously tell a jew online to commit suicide. they’ll feel secure in the knowledge that they’re the perfect leftist, that this is somehow “good trouble”. all this praxis, and nothing to show for it but massive surges in hate crimes against jews. good job, guys! you singlehandedly saved every innocent person in gaza!

it’s isolating. it’s scary. jews can’t mourn. jews can’t be angry. jews can’t disagree. jews can’t suffer. jews can’t be whole, complex people with diverse beliefs and experiences. suffering is a game, and the goal is to hurt the most, scream the most, die the most, all to appease western leftists whose closest connection to war and violence was reading the hunger games in middle school.

i’m tired of it all. i want a peaceful and just resolution to the war. i want the mindless hatred everywhere to stop. i want to be able to scroll through social media and see nothing but fandom. i want to walk through campus with my magen david showing and all the friends i lost by my side on the way to the hillel seder. i want to open my curtains again. i know the experience of one diaspora jew is nothing compared to what people living in israel and palestine are currently going through, yet i still need this all to end. i don’t think any of us can go on like this, but we must, because we have. for thousands of years, we’ve gone on. that still doesn’t mean it has to be this hard all the time.

all i can think is “now we are slaves. next year may we be free.” now we are slaves to hatred and violence and suffering. next year may we all be free. next year may we all be in jerusalem.

.

[onesidedradiostatic]

I feel like Alastor made that deal to save his life. That'd be so much more tragic and create so much more conflict if he was literally on the verge of death and someone told him either you do this or you die. In general as someone with thanatophobia I do headcanon Alastor as a person who's very, very afraid of death which just adds to the panic he had in the finale.

Something that I really see in Alastor's character over and over again is that sure, he craves power and control and he loves having that but also he wants to be seen; to mean something. He's an entertainer with his radio show. He's killed terrible people probably because of his moral code, yes, but I think also to give himself this grand purpose (think Light from Death Note) of bringing justice etc.

Alastor hates fading into the background, he hates being overshadowed (Lucifer), hates when people do not give a shit about him. He clearly cares about his reputation; wants the other overlords to wonder where he's been even though he has no intention of giving that information out whatsoever. A lot of people really do want him to be this powerful villain who seems untouchable but I really like the theory of Alastor being a fraud. A Wizard of Oz type character. With all of his power coming from his deal. I love the idea of "The Radio Demon" being this grand persona he carefully crafted for himself and now bases his identity around and hiding everything behind a smile when underneath it all; without the deal, without his reputation; he is just a very traumatized, slightly pathetic little man who fears nothing more than cracks in his facade and going back to being that little mixed kid in Louisiana whose dad hated him and who was treated like he was never going to make it as a radio star or like he doesn't matter. The whole taking charge of one's own fate quote really drives that theory home for me.

I've never seen Alastor as someone who wants control because he's a power hungry maniac, he wants control because he grew up without that; because even now every day in that deal is a reminder of how much his life depends on the forces around him. I see Alastor as someone with this delusional idea of freedom that if he just puts himself above everyone, if he's able to take on anything; he'll finally feel free when in reality the biggest problems are his unaddressed fears, his perspective and his mental illnesses. And the more he fails, the more this drives him insane.

I think deep inside he feels pathetic and more vulnerable than he actually is and it's why he lashes out at Husk and immediately gets into this dick measuring contest with Lucifer. Episode 5 really showcases how impulsive and meaninglessly destructive Alastor can be when he feels threatened. Like a hissy cat.

And what would be a worse fate for someone like that than to die in hell, bound to a contract, owned by someone; only to fade away into nothingness for all eternity and eventually be forgotten like he never meant anything? I think that's the worst possible scenario for him and the only thing that could get him to put himself into a deal no matter the terms. Because at least if he's alive, he still has a chance.

DAAAMN yeah this is pretty crazy, I mean I personally don't even have my own theory on what the deal could be so I just accept whatever people throw out there

the thing with the idea of all his power coming from his deal is that then we'd have to assume the deal was made very early on in his time in hell (since well. he does have a long reputation pre-absence), and in that case the making of his deal wouldn't have caused his 7-year absence, and if not then why did he disappear for 7 years? why does it coincide with lilith? was it still something related to his deal??

I don't really have any theory I agree or disagree with in particular, I'm just consuming all of them and will see if anyone's hit the nail on the head when it's revealed in the show proper

[real-reulbbr-band]

The Reimagining of Cats Undermines Female Characterization

My anxiety's going to eat me alive if I keep being chicken about posting this so here's my more in depth feelings regarding what I mean in this post. All opinions expressed are my own and based on what I know of pac. Anyone is free to disagree with me. and thank you to @pinkieclown and @per-the-jellicle-magician for proof reading!

I”ll keep this simple cause I don’t want to get ranty on Tumblr, but by removing and cutting so many aspects of the show out they’ve lost key characterization for the female cast and replaced them with virtually nothing.

My problem isn’t that the characters don’t resemble their stage counterparts; that was expected. The issue is that they aren’t given much of a character at all. You could switch their names, and nothing would change. This problem isn’t apparent with their male counterparts with previously established on-stage storylines. 

Male characters in the reimagining, such as Munkustrap, Rum Tum Tugger, and even Macavity, retain or gain distinctive characteristics and storylines. Munkustrap is portrayed as an MC not a leader but still very much leading the show, it’s the same general role; Rum Tum Tugger as a charming rogue though slightly more akin to his 2019 movie counterpart except he still manages to ‘save the day’ at the end, and Macavity, despite his thievery, is given a more comical persona with a deeper relation to his now fellow jellicles.

 In contrast, female characters are stripped of their individuality and reduced to plot devices or mere extensions of male characters. Victoria doesn’t experience a coming-of-age or even touch Grizabella here. (It’s old Deut pretty sure which…I have problems with) She’s simply another attendant at the ball with a solo at the start that lacks deeper meaning. She’s portrayed as a ‘drag baby,’ and as stated by her actress  this isn’t even her first ball. No pas de deux or additional solo is performed to further her importance in the narrative. This reduction strips Victoria of her journey and her role within the tribe or in this case community. 

Demeter and Bombalurina have no dark history with Macavity, which affects Demeter’s characterization more than Bomb’s. They are reduced to his drag daughters and are merely other competitors at the ball who further Macavity’s story by being the ones he steals for. This change eliminates the layers of trauma and complexity in Demeter’s character, reducing her to a plot device for Macavity’s storyline.

If the female characters aren’t given distinct roles, their characters end up heavily associated with male counterparts: Jellylorum with Gus, Jennyanydots with Munkustrap, and of course, Bombalurina and Demeter with Macavity. They don’t exist as individuals without these associations, as their typical roles are relegated to the background.

In the original stage show, despite its issues in instances, female characters like Demeter and Bombalurina exhibit significant agency and emotional depth. Demeter’s fear of Macavity and Bombalurina’s protective nature towards her and the kittens add layers to their characters. The reimagining erases this agency, reducing them to passive participants who exist only to further male characters' narratives. Namely Macavity’s here.

Now, it is important to note that a lot of characterization happens outside of the character’s main numbers. Things like who they interact with in their down time, what they do when they’re not actively participating in a song besides simply watching and waiting for the next que; that’s when the actors are given time to just be the character. The actors don’t have as many opportunities to do that here just due to the formatting of the show with the runway catwalk and walking space outside it. During which they’re mostly interacting with the audience or reacting to what’s happening on stage. They don’t have a lot of moments to just interact with each other to give the audience a better feel of who they are. 

The reduction of female characters in 'Cats: The Jellicle Ball' reflects broader patterns of misogyny in the media. Historically, female characters have often been sidelined, their stories minimized, and their roles diminished to support male-centric plots. This reimagining perpetuates this problematic trend by failing to provide female characters with the same depth and development afforded to their male counterparts.

I know what you’re going to say ‘but Grizabella’. Yea, Grizabella has fifteen minutes of stage time and she’s the character who resembles her stage counterpart the most. That’s why these issues negate her and she’s of the few I don’t have this problem with, the others being Rumpleteazer, Cassandra, and Skimbleshanks as her role has never had a deeper narrative meaning outside of reflecting the behaviors of the tribe as a whole.

In conclusion, the reimagining of 'Cats: The Jellicle Ball' is a missed opportunity to reframe and enrich the narratives of its female characters. Instead, it falls into the trap of diminishing their roles and individuality, perpetuating a longstanding issue in media representation.

[jellalism]

Diluc x GN!Reader fic: In safe hands

You are having a depressive episode. Diluc takes care of you.

Word count: 1018

Genre: Comfort

Content warnings: Depression, not wanting to eat, and anti-natalist thinking (i.e. thinking it is better not to be born).

Notes: First published on AO3 a year and a half ago. Thought I'd finally post it on here, too.

Read below or on AO3.

You sit on the couch of the Dawn Winery Manor. Knees up, nestled under a blanket, staring into space. Comfy, but you’re not happy. It isn’t that anything is particularly wrong, but you’ve been feeling down today. The whole week, really. It’s just one of those episodes you have every once in a while. You know you’ll get through it, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. On the worst days, you can barely drag yourself out of bed, eating is a chore, and doing any actual work is an impossible task. Today is perhaps not that bad, but not much better either. Add to that, the terrible boredom. If you had anything to distract yourself with, it might be bearable – but what do you do if your very diversions seem insurmountable tasks themselves? You sigh.

“y/n?” Diluc stands in the middle of the room, taking his coat off. You hadn’t even noticed him coming in.

“Hey,” you say. You wish you could be more outwardly enthusiastic, but you’re too sapped of energy. Inwardly, though, you are quite happy to see him.

“I see you are not doing so well.” He pauses, then walks up to you, bends over, and kisses your forehead. “Hold on, I will make you some tea.”

You murmur a word of thanks, but probably too softly for him to hear as he leaves the room. He could just have one of the servants make the tea, but he prefers to care for you with his own hands. Besides, his expertise doesn’t only pertain alcoholic drinks. He knows the exact right way to make tea, too. None of the servants’ tea can match the Master’s.

You listen to Diluc making noises in the kitchen, as he left the door open. Bringing the water to a boil, measuring the amount of tea, taking the pot from the cabinet – all the while humming a soft tune. Diluc has told you before that humming is an indispensable part of making good tea. You have your doubts, but have no reason to complain; you’re quite content listening to his song. Diluc isn’t free of his own demons, but he can get into the tasks at hand and lose himself in it, which allows him to hum in such a carefree way.

After a couple of minutes, Diluc returns, carrying a tray. On it, a pot of tea, two cups, and… a croissant. Why must he be so perceptive? you wonder. He definitely noticed you haven’t eaten – it is like a sixth sense he has. Diluc places the tray on the table and, without a word, starts pouring the tea. Then he puts one cup in front of you, giving you a smile and a wink. The second cup he places next to yours, and then he seats himself next to you on the couch. His arm goes over your shoulder and pulls you closer to him. You relax, leaning against his body. It’s warm, comfortably warm. You close your eyes.

“Tell me what is on your mind.”

You are silent for a moment, collecting your thoughts. “I don’t know,” you start softly. Diluc murmurs an encouraging sound. Still trying to find the right words, you continue: “Sometimes I just feel so down without an apparent reason. And once I’m that way, the negative thoughts come pouring in, to keep me held down. I fear that I’m never gonna be alright. That I’m not worthy of love. That I’ve misled people into loving me, because if they truly knew me, they wouldn’t stick around. That it'd be better for everyone if I were never born.”

“I respectfully disagree, my love.” Diluc replied. “You are… quite someone, you know? There is no need to be afraid that people would cower at the sight of the ‘real you’. I have been with you for some time, and you have bared your soul. And I am still here, remember? I love you with all your insecurities and wounds, all your mistakes and the things you think are imperfections. I have seen all of you, and I am ‘sticking around’. I love you, and I love being with you.”

A single tear runs over your cheek. “Thank you,” you say. The response feels inadequate, but you can’t quite put your feelings into words. “That means a lot,” you add, turning to face him. He smiles at you in a loving way. His right arm still wrapped around your shoulders, he brings his left hand to your face, holding your chin. His touch is ever so gentle, like you’re a beautiful yet fragile flower. You close your eyes as he leans in. His lips touch yours, press upon them with reservation betraying unparalleled devotion. He tastes like apple cider, with that slight taste of cinnamon.

As the kiss comes to an end, Diluc doesn’t lean back, but rather embraces you tightly. “You mean a lot to me,” he murmurs in your ear. “Don’t you ever forget that.”

You make no sound, letting yourself melt in his arms. They are so warm, so safe. Diluc breath tickles your neck.

After a while, Diluc lets go of the embrace, though one of his hands searches yours and holds it. With the other hand, he reaches for the plate with the croissant and picks it up. “Eat something, sweetheart.” You look at the pastry with aversion. Diluc doesn’t fail to notice. “I know you do not want to, but I do not wish to see you neglect your body. If you cannot do it for yourself, do it for me, alright?” He looks at you imploringly and softly squeezes your hand.

“Alright.” You remove your hand from his hold, take the croissant from the plate and take a small bite.

“Good,” Diluc mumbles under his breath. His now-freed hand goes to your head, and starts playing with your hair. “It’s so soft.”

As you slowly eat the pastry, Diluc continues his play with your hair. His fingers are so delicate, so careful. If it’s under his care, eating isn’t all that bad, you suppose.

Notes

Thanks for reading! I really enjoy reading your comments, whether that's as an actual comment or just your reactions in the tags of a reblog. So if you enjoyed, please leave a comment!

[ashistired37]

Yes the nap was refreshing. Let's talk about what I think is going on with Erin!

So. Spoilers for 2-2-32!

sorry most of this is based on speculation but that's the fun of this! If you disagree or think there's something I missed I will very gladly read through it! I love theories even if they aren't mine feel free to share yours <3

Okay so I literally wrote a draft of my theory the night before so I'll summarise it.

Basically I think what's going on with Erin- atleast subconsciously is tied to the backstory theory I cooked up.

I think his soul was either very prone to elemental corruption or the elements were just too much for him to control.

I think maybe using one element like we've mostly seen him do was alright but using it for too long would cause problems. So using them would usually lead to him being bedridden or sick in some way.

Because of this he probably felt powerless in a way. Sure he could use all the elements but he can't do anything meaningful with them without injuring himself (or others depending on how out of control his powers were before the magic tats/seals)

I mean obviously he felt helpless when it comes to helping Tess. He was a child what could he say to his father to get through to him? We don't know much about his parents but from what we know his father was definitely a douche. We know Erin and Tess seem to like/respect their mother and she was probably a Soul mage but that's about it

I think the line about holding him back just meant Tess would TRY to stop him from overworking himself which probably came before the seals. Maybe he kept trying to make his magic work despite knowing how much of a toll it takes or even after he got the tattoos he probably wanted to feel useful now that he could actually use his powers safely. He had to.

This is why I think he's a good person to parallel Kendal. They're both trying to justify their existence by doing.

Kendal with saving Vash.

And Erin by solving problems.

Is it fair to him to assume he can do all that? No. This whole thing really reminds me of the first episode of I think justice league?

I know it was a DC animated show- where in the first episode they assign superman to protect the whole world and when people protest saying he doesn't have enough hands for that he reassures them he will take care of it.

Erin's kinda like Superman in this case- oh wow I never thought I'd say that. But you understand why I draw the comparison. They're both insanely powerful and taking on way more than they can in these instances.

Now I know I mostly used 2-2-30 and 31 but I had to use them so we can get to the 32 stuff.

Him saying no one can help him and that it always comes back yo him to carry the weight because nobody can catch him if he falls as hubouris it sounds it's also. Really fucking sad.

I think he probably had a lot of instances where people expected him to fix things because of how much power he has (probably his father or even fellow students of The academy but that's just a guess) so he internalised it.

"But Atlas didn't you say he probably feels like this because he feels the need to justify his existence so he doesn't feel as helpless?" yes. Because I think it's both. Things mixed together to create the awful storm that is Erin mc hubris pants.

On another tragic note he's been one of the core members for so long. Since like chapter 4-5. This guy has fought with atleast Alinua and Kendal for AWHILE now. He knows they can help but the one thing they can't help him get rid of or solve?

The dragon.

He's right. He's absolutely right but that's only if you think about directly helping. By directly getting rid of it. If you think about helping him more indirectly so he can get the help he needs? They've been doing that since they met him!

Obviously he's not thinking completely rationally if he was more level headed he could probably acknowledge this but I NEEDED to mention this.

I might add to this sometime but I am exhausted I'll see you after ANOTHER nap

[trans-axolotl]

Perisex person here, asking purely out of curiosity: why are there so many different terms for not-intersex? Like dyadic, perisex, endosex, juxtasex. Are there differences in meaning or connotation? Is there some kind of complex history behind it or do people just not agree? It's interesting that there isn't a consensus for one word. Also, while I'm at it, is there one you personally feel would be best for me to use?

Hey! So they are slightly different in meaning and usage, even though they all basically mean the same thing. I'll share what i've learned, but other intersex people please feel free to add on your intepretations-a lot of this is going to depend on what intersex spaces you're in. There's not one right answer and I only have one perspective!

Dyadic: have seen this used online at least as early as 2011, most likely was being used earlier than that. some intersex people don't like it because they think that since it is based in the prefix "dyad" which means two, that it still reinforces the sex binary. I personally really like the term compulsory dyadism and think that's an incredibly useful concept, but don't use dyadic as much anymore because I don't think it is as popular a term and I want to avoid confusion.

Perisex: coined on tumblr around like....2014? Seems to be used mostly on tumblr. I don't think I've ever seen any in depth critiques of the term but I tend not to use it as much because it hasn't really caught on in any other intersex spaces. nothing wrong with using it, just my preference. Some people in the notes added on that it’s the preferred term in their country, which is awesome!

endosex: coined by Heike Bödeker, a German intersex activist in 2000. Endo means "inner" or "internal" and is used to signify that someone fits within the constructed sex binary. This is the term that seems to be most widely used in physical intersex spaces, and also is used more internationally. For that reason, this is definitely the term I prefer-although we aren't at a consensus in intersex spaces, this seems to be the most popular term in the region I'm in, and lots of resources, materials, language guides, etc, are starting to use it. Of course, that could always change and that's fine!

juxtasex: have never heard it before now. i never have problems with intersex people creating more language to describe our experiences, but am not familiar with it at all!

I would personally recommend sticking with endosex--I think that is the terms you are going to get the most recognition with. It hasn't really become popular on tumblr, because most of us who blog about intersex stuff use perisex or dyadic, but I think that endosex is a really good term to use irl if you want to talk about intersex topics.

as always other intersex people feel free to add on or disagree!

[ceoandslutler]

have you heard kuro dubbed in any language other than english? or in any other asian language other than korean or chinese? well i found a persian one and it's so fucking bad that it's hilarious.

(also stay tuned to find out why the persian dub of kuroshitsuji being so bad has directly to do with anti-shipping sentiment and puritanism)

i would like to politely invite anyone who's ethnically from/lives in/speaks the language of a country with an ultraconservative government to contribute to this post if they know a dub of kuro (fandub or licenced by a company) in their language to contribute to this post (agree or disagree that policing media causes a drop in its quality and accessibility in other countries) but let's keep it civil. if you are not from a country like this but have something to say, feel free to add anything on, the conversation is open to all :)

so i just heard the homemade persian dub of kuro's first ep made by some young people who sound like they're in uni (probs 18-23 yr olds), tears have been flowing from my eyes for the past 20 mins

(link under the cut)

to save time, go watch the bits i linked below or just laugh at the whole thing (full link) but don't blame these kids for being awful at this or just skip to the end of the post. as i said, there is a reason this dub is so bad and no official dub exists and it has to do with... anti subculture?!?*

but first, the funny stuff

ciel's voice is awful but just listen to the goofy dub laugh seb's va did at the start I'M FUCKING SOBBING (00:15-00:35), and also not ciel's va MOANING after the op song (2:35) ??? i REPEAT the woman who VA'd ciel was fucking MOANING, the YAWN was the worst part, dub team shotacons???

also SHEEL FANTOMHAYO?? THE KID'S NAME WAS DUBBED AS SHEEL FANTOMHAYO. (refer to 6:30 in the video linked)

now this isn't because we lack a 's' in our language (my alias is literally a persian name meaning shadow aka ✦sayé✦), we've just transliterated it as shiyel, but SHEEL???

the other guy calls him fantomhayo too (8:25) and the fantomhayo condition strikes again with sebastian's va talking about the fantomhayo hospitality at 12:40 ish in the video.

this is particularly bizarre because we do have a V in persian, please guys, use it!

please note: i have nothing but good things to say about finny's va... the way the va says "sebaastiyaan!" (12:43) is so cute <3

at 13:00, we get this golden crumb "meyrin... oh meyrin" from this college aged dude doing sebastian (who is SO lost) then he proceeded to say in persian "i beg you, ON MY LIFE, just pour the fucking wine in the glass and walk away" save me from the bad dub, ono daisuke, save me...

the furnace scene is just gold (18:50 onward is comical, the scream at the end... priceless), these people deserve an award, im tempted to do subs on this whole video because the translation is so wrong yet absolutely too hilarious to leave untranslated. also, i like how you can hear other people talking in the background constantly, they didn't even bother finding a quiet room 😭😭

finally i translated some of the best comments under the vid (everyone fuckin hated it 😭)

..tldr: irani/persian speaking netizens are brutal. but also, it shows that persian speakers are used to quality dubbing, otherwise this wouldn't be so offensive. if we were used to badly done dubs, the comments wouldn't look like this. many famous kdramas and jdramas and indian/turkish films have been dubbed. animated movies e.g. disney films and most commonly 70-80s anime have huge followings in iran and were dubbed extraordinarily well. in fact, in iran, many of our own films are dubbed especially if the original footage did not capture the audio well enough/the director was unhappy with the actor's delivery and it's usually hard to tell if this has happened because it's done very well. shockingly, dub is more popular than sub. so why does kuro not have an official dub? why is the fandub so bad???

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING

*IMPORTANT: an anime like this is not allowed to be legally dubbed by studios in iran because iran is under an islamic theocracy (the islamic republic) and all media that promotes devil worshipping and blasphemy is banned, homosexuality is too (anyone can tell kuro has homoerotic undertones, the homophobic heads of media would never let this queer gothic romance through). oh and trans people are "allowed" on TV but only if they're not vulgar/explicit (not even then, half the time) & grelle would not make it into the anime AT ALL. even if we ignore all the devil worshipping and queerness, sex is banned too (as well as lewd appearances of women), so season 1/2 & boc would never make it. oh and alcohol, bom would never make it. oh and also, women's empowerment is banned too so boa would never make it. when will it end? will someday everything be banned? sure looks like it. but isn't this what anti shippers want? i mean kuro IS problematic media, it never condemns people for having sex or partaking in drinks, not even murder is condemned.

moving on, the subtitled version of the episodes are very well done for what they are but it's still not good, you won't understand what's going on properly. meanings are lost. a dub is much more accessible to those who can't read subs and generally a necessary option. people NEED dubs. don't get me wrong, the iranian fansub team are dedicated however subs are much easier for fans to do than dubbing. as you heard, kuro's persian fandub was frankly terrible. these kids didn't even know how to pronounce ciel's name and it's NOT because of the language barrier, my theory is that because the internet access is so limited, they had to figure out how to pronounce ciel's name purely from the japanese original or another lang dub and had no access to the eng dub. as you can see, they are not able to follow the mouth movements either (don't have editing software); i assume the internet restrictions targeted streaming platforms w the dub on it (because the government wants to CONTROL what media people consume) so they had to figure everything out from japanese or another language, (they probably used another fandub to translate since the ed seems to credit the eng vas while they can never be heard in the bg) which is not easy. unfortunately english is taught in schools around the world not japanese so the dubbers' translation was quite honestly terrible- after all, they had no official script to base their translation off. BUT if a professional dubbing studio (e.g. iran's glory entertainment) got their hands on kuro, it'd probably be dubbed very well. if mehrdad raissi, CEO of glory, was on for seb's role, it would be glorious (pun intended). if he did flynn rider well, he can do sebs well too. but that studio often has their shows played on state televisions and the last thing they want is to get blacklisted and arrested for dubbing the gay demon butler anime. please do not take this fandub as representing all persian-language dubs. and remember, kuro itself is banned for being problematic media in counties like iran... no sebaciel needed (although anyone can definitely see the gay undertones to the story from a cover alone).

if you want to ban people from shipping things or making fan works that are problematic... soon you'll have to get rid of problematic media in general. and already, antis sound like the media people in charge under a dictatorship. "violence is okay, murder is okay but s-sex?!? women in scandalous clothing!!! oh good heavens..!" this is the kind of mindset which leads people down the rabbit hole of "this is problematic!! let's ban it!!!" until there's nothing left, a slippery slope. imagine this was the english dub of kuro. imagine it was banned in western countries and a team of young'uns had to gang up and make their own dub using only the japanese raws. imagine problematic media like kuro wasn't picked up the west because it's "shota" and that's bad. we'd be stuck looking at the same sanitised stuff and if we wanted to watch kuro, our options would be trash dubs (no offense) like this one. pretty scary to think this could be the state of the english dub if puritanism was as bad here as it is in countries like iran. policing media and deciding what creators should or shouldn't create will take you to the side of theocratic dictatorships and you will fall into alt right puritan lunacy, fanpoll are about as woke as a dictatorship, remember that.

don't sound like this:

NEVER sound like this.

it is clear that conditional freedom is no freedom at all. there should be zero criteria to the media we want to create, no religion or purity culture to it. just be media literate. let nobody control what you want to create or consume! (or you'll end up in a world where the media that is deemed "problematic" is maintained but only through underground circles, losing quality and accessibility day by day, until these channels are shut down too and only a sanitised husk of options for media consumption remain)

[toastymarshie]

Thinking about how Itadori and Fushiguro were probably never suppose to meet.

Feel free to disagree with my argument or chalk it up to me being a sad ass bitch, but it does feel like that.

Feel free to add to this post or send me an ask lol.

Why do I feel like this?

Well, I can’t pinpoint the exact reasons for why I feel this way, I can give some evidence to back it up. I know that JJK is a shonen and it was going to start with Itadori Yuji and end with or without him.

Ofc the most obvious one is Yuji’s death and path leading up to it.

(I will refer to the manga at this point if I will put anime screenshots if I just have them at hand)

Their first meeting

As you can see Fushiguro was impressed by Itadori’s natural strength. Even comparing him to Maki. However that was the extent he was willing to give to a random person. A very one sided interaction.

Until

This is the moment the narrative shifts for both Megumi and Yuji. Yuji carrying a curse since the beginning of their meeting (how ironic!) and Megumi is going after him. Sure it’s to retrieve Sukuna’s finger but it’s there.

For anyone who doesn’t know for some odd reason, Megumi’s name translates to Blessing hence why Toji and mama Fushiguro call him such. Yes, his name meaning is important to not only Yuji but to the major players such as Gojo.

Also we have to talk about Grandpa Itadori’s last request.

Of course we know now that Grandpa’s last words were a curse to Yuji. How this last request shapes Yuji as a person in the coming chapters. Another curse to add to the list of curses. (Do the note the rule of three)

Then we get the scene in the hospital after Yuji’s grandfather dies. (Abridged for time)

This is when the plot finally kicks in. Yuji unknowably putting his friends in danger and Megumi has to go save them and the finger. I don’t personally count this as a curse for Yuji as it’s just the direct effect of the first curse I noted. Remember that Yuji comes in when he remembers his grandpa’s words.

Then finally we get to the final curse

Ryomen Sukuna

Itadori Yuji’s last and final curse that sealed his fate. The very thing that led him to the path he’s in. Not just him but also Fushiguro Megumi. From Shibuya to the current arc (Chapter 244-245) both of them have been by each other’s side trying their best to break this curse.

Remember, Yuji was going to be executed once he ate the first finger but due to Gojo’s interference and Megumi’s own personal feelings he was given a choice.

The first chapter really set them up to meet each other regardless of the factors that scream don’t do it/don’t follow him. Especially in hindsight, you can feel the tragedy brewing before it even begins. You somewhat know the consequences in the first chapter and it only grows worse in the second.

But that what makes a good tragedy.

Fuck you Gege you one eye cat

Now I’m gonna bring up chapter 9 for a bit because it’s history is very interesting. Gege did say that if the series didn’t do well, he will leave Yuji dead. (Ofc this didn’t happen and please help me find the source of this information. I know it was stated in an interview but I couldn’t find a translated version.)

Even then, it just solidifies my feelings.

This is the ending of the story. How it’s suppose to end.

Someone said that this seemed like a confession and I have to agree. Whether it’s romantic or platonic, Fushiguro’s feelings for Itadori are real.

Hear that?

That’s me sobbing.

With the recent chapters, it seem bleak but I believe that we will see Fushiguro again.

Yuji and Megumi will meet again maybe for the last time. I’m not Gege, but I trust him not really to give them a proper ending.

[clover-system]

Allow us to introduce ourselves

Half a year active, over a hundred followers, the majority of which are veteran tumblers from that one 60k note explosion, and we still haven't properly introduced ourselves. Time to fix that.

We are Clover, an endogenic plural system. That means we are multiple people sharing one brain and body, and we aren't plural because of trauma. We do not have DID. (nor do the vast majority of endos)

I am Quincy, the headmate who fronts the most. Quincy is not my real name, but it could've been, and it's an alias I've been using for a few years.

Edit 2024 August 1: Quincy split into Eliza and Mia. Eliza's egg opened easily. Mine crumbled painfully. We now share the host role and this blog. There isn't much difference between us; we both inherited Quincy's memories.

Edit September 18: I live.

There are a lot of people on here who say that it's impossible for a plural system to form without trauma, but as you may have seen from our syscourse (system discourse (expect a lot of sys- compounds)) reblogs, they rarely cite any credible sources, and that's because they're wrong. I am not a LARPer and I do not claim to have DID. This really is every hour of my life, online and offline. If you have any more questions about plurality, feel free to send me an ask.

Though if we're talking about origins, "not from trauma" is overly vague for my taste. If we're really talking about how the system formed, I prefer "dreamgenic", because everyone originated from some combination of nightdreams and immersive daydreams which I had varying levels of control over.

The second most active headmate, Victoria Penelope, has her own blog @victoria-penelope-clover. She posts more infrequently, when she's able to front/cofront/proxy, and is currently mostly focused on syscourse, with occasional slices of life. She's my older syster.

Headcount is currently in the upper teens. Some more may be mentioned occasionally but I'd rather not have a list of private details about everyone easily accessible here for anyone to see. For the most part, all you'll see every once in a while is some colored text indicating a distinct voice.

Anyway, enough plural stuff! Now for typical bio stuff!

Fleed Reddit to come here and wow Tumblr is way better. Always happy to commune with fellow Rexxitors!

For obsession I circle between Chess, Minecraft, Geometry Dash, Warrior Cats, and Undertale. Fandoms I am on the edge of getting sucked into include The Amazing Digital Circus and Death Note. I also plan to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender at some point. Ever since our syscovery, I've consumed next to no fiction for fear of more headmates.

I have a few projects in the works but I've promised myself that I won't post them publicly until I've actually made substantial progress!

No DNI! Maybe it's just because I'm not jaded by years of wasted time with unproductive trolls, but I think assuming someone is in bad faith just because they disagree with you about something heated is bad actually, partly because I've seen what happens and how long progress takes when left-of-center people generally refuse to interact with, for example, transphobes. Relatedly, I will only block you if I think you're a bot or if you really, really fuck up.

Do not be surprised if I casually shit on something you believe in without warning.

I have an ever-growing queue set to post five times per day, and I try not to post too much more than that. I also try to keep my dash at less than 100 posts per day, which is apparently uncommon here.

Reblog reblog reblog! Not just my posts, but everyone (unless you have a good reason not to, like with this intro post). Reblogs are what keep Tumblr alive! Likes do next to nothing.

That's all for now! If you have any more questions, send me an ask and I might add it to this post!

[sindar-princeling]

just passing by to say that i love reading your takes about the rop episodes! i really dislike the show but i wish people could just have civil conversations about its real flaws instead of just spewing racist crap like i'm seeing a lot of purists doing. since the show came out it seems to me that you have to love the show and excuse every single thing it does because the bigots hate it or else you're a bigot too. idk it makes me not want to engage with the fandom that much

yeah especially new tolkien-related content always makes you remember how many racist pieces of shit treat every racist trope he wrote like actual word of god, because they suddenly start crawling out of every corner of the internet :// and I'm just here like. I just want to not enjoy a mediocre show in peace and see what they're doing to my favourite fictional world.

(I am of course aware that this situation is not about me - a white as raw bread dough central european - this is only my personal annoyance)

(ESPECIALLY since the show the racists hate so much for the cardinal sin of *checks notes* having a black elf in it.............. has actually already contained some really racist tropes (rhun will never be free of the racism present in the original text, it seems)! not to mention amazon mainly cast POC as their original characters (arondir, disa, some harfoots, miriel being the only exception i can think of rn) in a move that I imagine was meant to not piss off the racists too much, because there's still money to be milked out of them. amazon don't think we didn't notice your spinelessness)

.......ANYWAY, I'm sorry for derailing this so much, rop asks always make me ramble

I'm really glad you're enjoying my posts! I dislike the show but I try not to be an Angry Internet Person about it, mostly for my own peace of mind but also not to spew bile on yalls dashes - I just don't want my blog that I have for fun to be such a place. So I'm really happy that someone like you who wants to see civil conversations about it feels that they can do so here, it really means a lot to hear!!

it's the same reason why I don't really go to the main tag - many people like the show, they enjoy the aspects I don't - and I know going into the tag is pointless, I'll just be disagreeing with most of the posts I see. the most sensible thing I can do while criticising the show is add the 'rop critical' tag so those people have a way of knowing that my opinions won't interest them either, and just... live and let live, you know.

(and leave the longest, most cathartic rants for one of my very best friends, who actually wants to listen to me 😂)