#feel free to share ur perspective

[sobersight]

which gilmore girls characters would own guns?

lorelai: has a tiny pink camo pistol she has never bought ammo for — she thinks if she just pulls it out during a confrontation, it will scare off her attacker. really, she thinks of it as more of a cute accessory she can keep in her purse instead of a weapon

rory: is pro-gun control so she doesn’t own any firearms. however, she does have a baby blue pepper spray instead (it’s expired)

luke: has a couple firearms he all keeps very responsibly in a safe hidden in his closet. one he bought for self defense purposes, but the others were passed down from his father and he doesn’t have the heart to sell them

christopher: used to own one or two pistols, but he got rid of them when gigi was born

emily: has one antique rifle kept in her panic room that she thinks will defend her in the case of a burglar (it won’t)

richard: has a gun safe in his office containing a pistol and a sophisticated looking rifle, but he hasn’t told emily that they’re there

trix: believes that it’s a man’s job to handle the self defense of the home. however, she still keeps the old firearms that her late husband owned in case of “dire emergencies”

dean: goes hunting with his family regularly and therefore owns several firearms and knows how to use them

jess: has illegal firearms, one of which is a fully automatic that he takes out into the woods occasionally to shoot with his buddies

logan: has several high-tech, custom built handguns and rifles that he and his friends show off to each other. rory vehemently disapproves

lane: prefers knives, or perhaps a baton

mrs kim: she once shot an american soldier during the korean war, traumatizing her and being the inciting event for her conversion to seventh day adventism

paris: expert at self defense. she has a tricked out glock with tons of attachments, as well as excelling in several forms of hand to hand combat

sookie: was there when lorelai bought her pistol, so she also has a matching one. hers is lime green camo and it hasn’t seen the light of day for about five years

jackson: afraid of guns, but owns one gun (that he never touches) to keep up appearances of being tough and masculine

michel: european (doesn’t like guns)

taylor: acts scandalized by the idea of townspeople owning guns and tries to pass a motion banning them from the town, but really he has a large collection of historical muskets and rifles in his home for which he made “special exceptions”

kirk: bought a handgun once, but he shot himself in the foot and the town petitioned at a town meeting to confiscate it as a matter of public safety (it passed unanimously, with even kirk voting to confiscate)

liz: not really interested in firearms. she knows she’s too clumsy to use them — instead, she owns several swords, none of which are really practical

tj: bought a handgun once he and liz bought their house, but he still doesn’t know how to use it

patty: when asked, she says dramatically that she once “shot a man in reno.” she will not elaborate

[temeyes]

I HAVE GENUINELY BEEN LAUGHING SO MF HARD AT YOUR ICON AND THE REST OF THE GANG WITH THAT PERSPECTIVE HOLY FUCK, bless you for sharing them all bc MY GOD i need to make simon my icon one day (with beloved credit ofc ♡♡♡) fuck.. maybe even König?? - IDK theres sSOOO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM (absolutely almost spat up a lung @ alex and nikolai)

anyway spitting up lungs aside.. I've come here to dump more love on u abt ur art and how its SUCH serotonin for me to see & always makes me SOOO fking happy ♡♡, your art style is the cutest stuff ever (spesh when its little chaotic foap my beloved ♡) have a wonderful day sweetpea!

dissolves into the void again

ahsHSAHSAH glad u liked the [0.5 perspective] [icons] bestie!! and yeah, feel free to use any of them if you want. it's no problem! thanks again for showering my art w/ ur love!!

[seawing-vibes]

HI THAT WAS ME IM SORRY TUMBLR ATE UR ASK. PERIL IS TRANS I KNOW HER ALSO INTEGRAL TO HER CHARACTER AND IM THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES IT(THATS BASICALLY THE ASK)

HII NO NEED TO BE SORRY TUMBLRS SYSTEM IS ASS!! THANK YOU SM FOR RESENDING THE ASK A <33 OKAY PERIL POST DO-OVER!!

SPECTRUM USED FROM THIS POST!!!!!!!!!

OKAY SO I JUST DECIDED TO FILL THE WHOLE THING OUT! I headcanon Peril as Intersex and nonbinary!! AND SAME FOR ME, they fall fight between “I know them” and “their lore is literally impacted by their transsexualism”!! Peril is a very Nonbinary character to me, the way she was raised to view things as very “black & white” and hosting a sense of little self autonomy— makes them finding a comfortable identity in a very “”in the middle”” gender compelling! Especially within the understanding of how Peril was raised and brought up in someone else’s vision, being able to find self-identity in that nature of breaking down the “black & white” structure that was forced on them through the act of finding identity in neutrality. I find the development of self-love extended through gender expression in that nature something that works well in-unison with Peril’s pre-existing themes! Especially in regards to the layered metaphors of the Necklace. As a nonbinary person myself - I found that to be a pinnacle moment of forced suppression of identity into something more “palatable” to the public perception - in this analysis that being the forcing of femininity onto a gnc aligning identity - speaking to the way many nonbinary identity’s are expected to lean “one direction or the other”. So that moment being involved in Perils story - and her breaking free of it and having a self-realization/control moment - very reflective of nonbinary/gender non conforming experiences !!

With that though - thats just my own interpretation and connection to those aspects of Peril’s characterization! I find her lore and themes within her character to speak to many universal experiences of identity that can be interpreted in a fluid way. Like I personally read it as a very compelling arc about non-conformity and applied my own experiences with gender expression onto it, but other interpretations/analyses are just as strong! Thats why I put this headcanon in the middle, because I find it connects heavily to their lore, but is similarly just an extension of it and not necessarily interwoven in-full. Its a lot of personal interpretation which is why the personable “I know them” also 100% fits my perception of transgenderism onto Peril <33

Also the Intersex headcanon is purely a me thing, I always thought Peril was intersex just like. Factually lmao (one of those “I somehow convinced myself this was canon and was surprised to learn it was not” moments lmao). The reason I included it as well is because within my headcanon I think Peril would similarly absorb her being intersex to a further extension of gender identity! Again, breaking down those “black & white” views that were forced on them through themself - literally! Notably being intersex does not inherently mean gender identity is going to be impacted as well, just for this headcanon I feel Peril’s relationship to their gender identity would be strongly impacted by them being intersex <3 !!

OKAY SORRY THIS GOT LONG BUT THIS WAS FUN TO WRITE! TWICE ! LMAO! I have lots of thoughts on these guys so feel free to ask any questions about the other characters if ya want!!! I have many thoughts lmao…

Also I love analyzing these dragons so if anyone has a different interpretation of the characters & wanna share PLEASE DO!!!! I love hearing other perspectives, especially if they contrast my own interpretations, it’s all so cool!!!! <333

[hiiragi7]

hi there!! i've been reading some of the discussions you've had & many of them are super informative and some comforting to read from the perspective of someone who's questioning if they might be plural/have a CDD. i really appreciate ur blog & the views and experiences u share on it, it feels like a warm hug amidst The Horrors of Syscourse.

i've had something on my mind though. this is probably a silly question, but it's possible to have a CDD without (C)PTSD, right? admittedly i'm kind of just asking this for reassurance while i'm on my own discovery journey. like. i have experienced traumatic events and some of it is ongoing & i'm still living with the people responsible, but i don't think i fit the PTSD criteria due to not experiencing flashbacks or strong emotions related to the events—i usually just feel totally empty & detached from it. i still believe i've been negatively affected by the events hence considering them traumatic, but that doesn't include any kind of flashbacks.

i've been trying to look into it & find answers but i've seen a lot of conflating of having experienced trauma with having PTSD, so most of what i find is "can you be plural/have a CDD without trauma" discourse.

i think it'd be neat to see more conversations about this but free to ignore this ask if u don't want to answer it/if u don't feel equipped to! wishing u the best. have a great day!!

This is actually a very interesting question.

I've read a lot of medical literature on trauma, and each author in the field seems to define what qualifies as PTSD or PTSD symptoms differently, which also lines up with my own experiences with medical professionals in practice. In general, me simply being traumatized was enough for me to be given an automatic PTSD diagnosis, regardless of which therapist or psychiatrist I saw. Some professionals I saw were very specific with what they called what, others were a lot more loose with it.

I've seen a lot of differing definitions and academic debate over what qualifies as a flashback, dissociation, a posttraumatic symptom, and so on. That is to say, it can all be very vague.

For example, there are other forms of flashbacks that exist outside of the well-known ones; some people only relive traumatic events emotionally, or through repeated thought processes, or somatic pain. A lot aren't even aware these are flashbacks, because it's experienced as 'random' emotions or pain or spirals or some other response, and a lot have trouble figuring out what even triggers these responses.

Would these experiences fall under what we call flashbacks in PTSD? Well, it probably depends on who you ask. And, in practice, whether someone with these experiences gets diagnosed with PTSD or a mood disorder or a personality disorder or somatic pain syndrome depends on the medical professional evaluating them.

To further complicate it, a lot of people don't experience overt c/PTSD symptoms until they are no longer living in the traumatic situation, which, for people who develop cPTSD, means they may not show obvious symptoms until a very, very long time after the trauma started. I didn't start getting "classic" PTSD flashbacks and "waking up in a panic attack in the middle of the night" type nightmares about the trauma until I wasn't around the people who did it anymore. However, I have experienced many other trauma-related symptoms and heavy dissociation ever since I was very very little. Before I was diagnosed with PTSD in highschool, I was diagnosed with a lot of other things first.

There's also just the fact that, for whatever reason, people don't all develop the same symptoms in response to trauma. Some people with very complex trauma never experience classic PTSD symptoms. Some people are very dissociative and numb, or develop mood disorders, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms, or somatic symptoms, or eating disorders, or some combination of things. Some people never externally harm themselves or cope using substances while others develop addictions to these things.

In addition, some people's experiences with trauma don't fall under the PTSD criteria's definition of trauma, so even if other symptoms are present they don't "technically" fit criteria. And sometimes medical professionals use their own judgement and diagnose these people with PTSD anyway, and sometimes they don't.

Plenty of people diagnosed with other childhood trauma-based disorders besides CDDs also don't fit c/PTSD criteria or show many c/PTSD symptoms or receive a comorbid c/PTSD diagnosis for whatever reason. It's complicated and messy.

This is all to say, I've encountered medical professionals who treat PTSD as synonymous with "traumatized" and are very loose with what they call PTSD and I've also encountered medical professionals who are very strict about the criteria and are very insistent on only diagnosing people who fit that, and I've met a lot of professionals somewhere in the middle as well. I've also encountered plenty who would much rather focus on helping the symptoms than on what the diagnosis is or isn't, and who don't really like the way mental health diagnosis is structured in the first place.

So, to come back to your question... I don't think there really is an objective answer to it, though personally I'd just say "sure it's possible, and I wouldn't really worry about it much."

In the end, what I've found is that it doesn't actually really matter that much? Regardless of whether there is comorbid PTSD or whether there isn't (or whether it's delayed onset or etc), in the end what you're dealing with if you have a CDD is still trauma, and the treatment for that is more or less the same, regardless of what you call it. There might be differences in, say, approaches to medication specifically, or specific symptoms, but even that is often just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. Honestly, in my experience, treatment mostly looks different based on symptoms and individual needs rather than diagnoses, really.

In general, I find that a lot of people dealing with trauma and mental illness tend to over-focus on diagnosis and getting it right and trying to figure out whether they "really" have something or whether they're mistaken or somehow faking or so on. I think that's an unhelpful approach to it; there's no objective way to confirm that sort of thing, and either way you still need ways to cope with your symptoms, and coping skills are useful regardless of diagnosis. Learning how to ground yourself is useful regardless of whether you "really" dissociate that bad, learning emotional regulation skills is useful regardless of whether you "really" have severe mood swings, learning calming techniques and self-care and how to be gentle with yourself are good things for everyone to learn, coping skills are not just for people with certain diagnoses. In fact, you don't even need a diagnosis of anything to do these things.

And with trauma, like... it's all just trauma processing in the end, really.

I'll even go as far to say that even if you don't have PTSD, books and resources for PTSD might still be useful to you if you have a CDD or another trauma-related disorder, since a lot of symptoms overlap with other disorders and especially with trauma the recommendations for what to do about it tend to be applicable to a lot of different situations outside of strictly PTSD.

I realize I rambled a long time just to say "well, it's complicated and depends on what we mean by PTSD, but also it's all trauma anyway" but I hope this was helpful still?

I'm also glad to hear what you said about my blog, it was very nice to read.

[dykementality]

forgive me if you're not interested, but I'd actually love to hear more of your thoughts on the maroon arc, what you thought was/wasn't done well. would u like to share?

hii i didnt see this. im gonna apologize right away bc this is not gonna be organized i have talked soooo much today already and im tired lol.

for starters what i think was done best is flint and madis dynamic. its incredibly well played both as individual characters and as representatives of pirates and maroons in relation to empire. their chemistry is crazy and their dialogues are extremely didactic. i also find that flint not immediately viewing the maroons as natural allies but as tools to reach his own purposes and later deconstructing that after getting involved with them aggregates to his ongoing theme of progressive radicalization which i think is also a highlight of the maroon arc in the way it makes it explicit for good that his political stance has done a 360 and is now entirely discordant from the one he had as a lieutenant in every aspect that matters. freeing and partnering with the maroons is expected after that and i dont think theres anything special on that regard. then the shitty parts are essentially everything else. especially steinberg admitting he stalled to really explore the topic of slavery due to not being in his element as a white guy but still not putting black people on the team to do it. this reflects very obviously in the show and makes the entire arc feel rushed and reticent besides leaving a billion loose threads and missing opportunities to appropriately explore character dynamics that couldve been way more interesting (such as silver/julius/flint & madi/eme & madi/eleanor & eleanor/scott) and really engage confidently in the impact that flint and the pirates having canonically sold slaves would have had in their relationship. speaking of julius i also very much felt like it was a tragedy to hinder his presence and had they started it earlier or extended it longer his perspective on war vs. protecting his community as opposed to madi’s for example would have been probably my favorite part of the arc. i know the version in my head of it is. all in all its a vital arc for the story and everyone slayed really hard with with they had i just wish the creators hadnt shied away from all the implications of it. if i had the energy to go look for some posts for u i would bc my mutuals have definitely also discussed this before but alas. thanks for asking anyways feel free to add ur own thoughts or question mine further

[mingigoo]

ur wip titles sound so good!! can't decide which one I'm excited for the most, so pls tell us more abt all of them👀 ! (if u want ofc)

AH oh yes! Gladly!

1. Melancholia — song mingi

summary: when all hell breaks loose among the main mafia families, your father arranges your own marriage to Song Mingi, the son of the most dangerous mafia boss. You’re told he’s cold-blooded, a monster of men, but when you start to get closer to him, you begin to see his true, sweet persona no one ever cared to know about.

genre/au: mafia au, arranged marriage au, enemies to lovers, smut, angst

This one is a request

2. Orange Juice — song mingi

summary: growing up as neighbors, you and Mingi were inseparable. Everything came to a screeching halt when he disappeared one summer after a terrible car accident. Years later, he walks through your door, nearly in tears when he sees you. So much has changed, but not how you feel about each other.

genre: angst, smut

3. Sensual Politics — jeong Yunho

part of swift classics series collab with @yourdreamsyourwish-2

summary: set in the 1970’s, you push your way through the obstacles to enter the country's most prestigious law school. With your head on straight, you meet a shy, handsome boy in your major, and fall into a sweet love that you hoped would last forever and ever.

genre/au: more than friends, less than lovers, college au, 1970’s

4. If We Were Vampires — kang yeosang

summary: while living out the last of your sickly days, you begin to wonder how your life would be if you were a vampire. Living forever with the love of your life sounds delightful, but one nightmare changes your whole perspective. Knowing that this can’t go on forever makes it much more special.

genre/au: angst, melodrama, some fluff, smut

based on the song 'if we were vampires'

5. We fell in love in July — Choi San

summary: as the daughter of the notorious underground fight club owner, you’ve had to deal with a fair share of crazy fighters—and there’s one you hate the most. He’s brutal, has no class, and is a certified dickhead. But after a drunken kiss…it’s impossible to see him in the same light as before…

genre/au: smut, slight angst, enemies to lovers, fight club au, grumpy-sunshine

6. Astrophilia — park seonghwa

part of swift classics series collab with @yourdreamsyourwish-2

summary: with only a month left after being diagnosed with cancer, you meet a mysterious man on your train to nowhere. He offers you an ultimatum—you can be pain free for your remaining days if you teach him how to love, as it guarantees both his salvation and your comfort.

genre/au: supernatural au, terminal illness au, angst, fluff

7. Blissful Ignorance — choi jongho

summary: Jongho is the all-star on the University’s basketball team, but as his grades start to drop, he is about to fall from the heights. As he struggles to raise his grades, you swoop in to save him from the fall as his tutor. Despite him being the man of your dreams, you act like you hate him and everything about him. As he falls for you despite your ignorance, he begins to question who he is and where his priorities lie.

genre/au: enemies to lovers, reverse academic rivals, university au

8. Everywhere, Everything, You. — jung wooyoung

summary: love is a tricky word for you and wooyoung. you grew up together, shared your firsts together, and as the years went on, you both went your separate ways. when you meet again, everything in you craves for his love. everywhere you go, everything reminds you of him. Can you let yourself fall once again, even when the future isn't guaranteed?

genre/au: angst, fluff, smut

9. Savior Complex — kim hongjoong

summary: Your life wasn't worth living anymore. After a night of drinking alone, you find yourself on top of your apartment building, ready to risk it all. Suddenly, you are tackled to the ground by a pizza delivery boy, who looks even more upset than you were. Now, ever since then, he is hell-bent on making sure you're okay—following you around to protect you as if his life depended on it.

genre/au: strangers to lovers, angst, smut

10. Tis the Damn Season — kim hongjoong

summary: as you arrive in your hometown for the holidays, you run into the only boy you ever loved. Knowing that this time of the year was rough for both of you, you promise to spend the weekend together one last time, giving both your families a little hope for the future.

genre/au: old flame au, holiday au, angst, smut, slight fluff

Hope these interest you!!!! I’m currently working on a few of them more than others, so hopefully they’ll be out soon!!

[goatcheesecak3]

HI UR WRITING IS INCREDIBLE UR SO COOL

i was wondering (if your requests are still open) if you could do a dean taylor fic with a GN reader where he lowkey has a breakdown and his partner helps him through it??

just rewatched the entitled, so brainrot is strong lmao

feel free to ignore !!

Nightmare

Dean Taylor x gn!reader

A/n hello! I've actually had this fic in the drafts for about a month, I just never got round to finishing it, so thanks for the suggestion and giving me the metaphorical kick up the arse I needed to finish it :^))) and thank you so much for saying you like my other stuff! It means a lot :^)))

Contains: angst, fluff, not catered to any gender in particular, brief mentions of hostage situation, gun violence

It had been nearly a year since that fateful night. The night you'd stopped Dean from making the worst mistake of his life, the night neither of you were supposed to survive, the night that still haunted both of you. That scumbag Paul had had Dean and Jenna both wrapped around his fingers, with empty promises of a better life and revenge against those who'd wronged them. You'd never bought Paul's act, but it want until it was almost too late that you realised just how awful he really was.

That sinking feeling, when you finally realised what was to happen to Dean was nothing short of mortal dread. You had been sat in your apartment, having opted out of the scheme, because something about it just didn't seem right. Pondering, desperately trying to find the cause of this uneasy feeling, when all of a sudden the pieces just fell into place, and your worst fears were confirmed. You recalled the pit in your stomach bubbling, with rage, fear and nausea all at once, because you'd just realised that Paul had planned to kill your beloved Dean that night.

Almost a year on from that night, you and Dean were both finally leaving those memories in the past. The pair of you had moved to a new city, began to get your lives together, and from an outsider perspective, you almost seemed like a normal couple. But in the dead of night, when no one else was around, you knew that the two of you were bound by your secrets, by your shared pain, sorrow and scars.

"Get off her/him/them" Dean mumbled in his sleep. He was having that dream again.

You held him close to you, hoping that by some miracle your touch would be enough to stop him from reliving that night.

You knew exactly what part of the night he was dreaming about. You'd gone to the house where the scheme was taking place, and were trying to find a way to get Dean out without alerting anyone else. That was when Jenna found you lurking about the property, and had frogmarched you into the house at gunpoint, all too eager to finish you off execution-style. Thanks to Dean, you'd both made it out alive, but it was a close call. You were certain that your fate had been sealed, and you'd never forget that feeling.

It would appear that Dean was never to forget that feeling either, as he stirred in his sleep. You watched his brows furrow, his lips quiver as he mumbled incoherent sounds and his hands gripped the bedsheets. He'd wake himself up soon.

You got to work turning the lamp on, and cracking the window slightly. The cool air would hopefully help bring Dean back to reality, and the warm orange glow from the lamp that illuminated the room, would help him realise he was safe in his bedroom the second he woke up.

Dean let out a choked gasp, as he sat bolt upright. His eyes huge and bug-like, his breathing shallow and fast. His hands scrambled across the bedsheets, searching for nothing in particularly, until your hands found them.

"Dean, honey?" You said, taking his hands in your own and rubbing them softly.

His eyes darted to you, and without hesitation, he threw himself at you in a hug, holding you tight and hiding his face in your chest, letting out small quiet sobs.

"Shhhh, baby, it's okay. It was just a dream. That's all, just a bad dream," you rubbed his back soothingly and kissed the top of his head.

"Sh.. she was gonna kill you," Dean blubbered, trembling in your arms like a lost puppy.

"But you saved me, baby!" You whispered reassuringly, "look at me, Dean, come on"

You tenderly held his chin and tilted his face to look at you, running your thumb over his skin to calm him as you did so.

"My brave boy, you saved me, didn't you?"

Dean's big sad eyes blinked away tears, as he nodded timidly. It pained you to see your usually cocky and laid back boyfriend so frightened.

You pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead and ran your fingers over his cheek.

"It's okay, baby. It's over now, we're safe."

He nuzzled into your chest again, his clammy hands gripping tightly at your nightshirt.

"Every time I close my eyes it's like I'm back in that fucking house" he cried, his tone sounding ever so slightly angry, but mostly just defeated and hurt.

"I know, I know" you cooed, stroking his head and rubbing his back, "come on, let's get you some fresh air, it'll calm you down."

You picked up a blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around Dean's trembling shoulders, carefully taking him out to the balcony.

Two rusty iron chairs sat facing out to the city, with an equally dishevelled iron table, home to an overflowing ashtray. You and Dean took your seats and let the cool midnight air wash over you, listening to the distant sounds of cars and late night party goers. After liberating two cigarettes from their packet, you handed one to Dean who took it eagerly. His hand shook like a leaf as he smoked, causing Ash to drop all over the balcony. You watched as Dean inhaled with deep, slow breaths, savouring every last bit of nicotine he could get. It wasn't your typical breathing exercise, but at least he wasn't hyperventilating anymore. These technically being your first cigarettes of the day, rendered the pair of you quite light headed and dizzy.

"How you feeling babe?" You asked quietly, not wanting to startle Dean.

"Tired.. and cold" he replied, groggily, sounding ever so slightly stuffy from crying.

"You wanna try going back to bed?"

He nodded, and stood up to head back inside, you followed.

He seemed calmer now, still clearly not doing well, but collected and less afraid.

The pair of you climbed into bed, and Dean crawled over to you, resting his head on your chest and draping his arm over you. He looked so sweet, his pink lips puffed out in a sleepy pout, his soft hands curled into relaxed fists, and his eyelids droopy.

"Night night, Dean" you whispered.

"Wait..." he mumbled

"Hm?"

"Can you do that thing where you rub my back again? It feels nice" he said, without opening his eyes, only shifting on his side slightly, to give you better access to his back.

"Course I can, babe" you smiled to yourself.

"Love you" he murmured, clearly more asleep than awake at this point.

"Love you too, big guy".

A/n hello! Sorry if this wasn't exactly the most "Dean" fic, it's really hard to write for him without either completely flanderizing him, or making him too cute and fluffy you know? I hope I did him justice though!

Replies and reblogs are very much appreciated! I thrive on your validation lmao

Requests are open! Check my pinned post for details and masterlist! <3

[seelestia]

Odeliaaaaaaa, Thank you so much for writing this masterpiece ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ (https://www.tumblr.com/seelestia/752992189846585344/the-gambler-and-his-knight?source=share), you did it very very meticulously!!! >< I really enjoyed the touch of anxiety and perhaps also denial you gave him. (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ to a certain point, I imagined that the reader was dying because of Aventurine's reckless behavior when he was gambling. I mean, not every time bodyguards are able to look after their clients and come out alive, they could be lose an eye or hand, of course I'm not underestimating the reader's abilities, but if only. maybe it will be the breaking point where they know each other's feelings, or maybe not (please don't take it seriously, I just really enjoy angst. And that one just reallllyyy goooooood) wwwww (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑) seeing how deep their relationship is, even though it's unspoken, I feel, angst will be their main color. Last, tysm for the food! May you have great day ε(´｡ •᎑•')っ 💕

hi, nonnie! thank u for giving it a read ( ;´ - `;). i'm glad u enjoyed the themes of anxiety & denial in the post russian roulette scene. aventurine is always so laid-back and frivolous—on the outside, anyway—so getting to lace his inner monologue with panic while he's trying (rlly hard) to keep up a front felt like a breath of fresh air to write. aven the beloved ‹//3

dw, ur free to imagine & it isn't unlikely! bodyguards are technically meant to take the brunt for their clients so injuries, minor or heavy, are unavoidable. which gets aventurine worried sick LOL i think it's obvious from a third party perspective that he cares for us, whether that be some moral principle or pesky feelings, it's just hard to come to terms with or acknowledge out loud. (defense mechanism?)

oh no, the confession at death's door trope... the regret, the feelings that finally spill free, the haste & urgency to say it all before it's too late... who knows? maybe. it could be enough for the reader & aven. they're both stubborn in their own ways 🤕

[cdbabymp3]

Hi I just saw ur post from a couple days ago abt having friend problems😕 I’m not sure if that’s resolved for you now but I wanted to share my perspective/advice! Feel free to completely toss this if it is not at all relevant or helpful to you lol

I was in a vvv similar position with my ex best friend of seven yrs. I always left our hangouts feeling drained and angry for some reason. Whenever I thought about her outside hanging out it was never positive memories, mostly the negative. I always felt like I had to diminish my light in order to make space for hers. I was constantly taking responsibility for her emotions. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of that was me not being able to set boundaries and be stern with them, but she was always pushing it and making it harder. These were red flags I totally ignored and pushed down because I knew the best parts of her and kept making excuses for her.

This friendship was gradually getting more and more hostile and emotional and weird until finally it blew up in a giant argument where we ended up cutting each other off completely.

My point is, friendships should be rewarding. They should energize you. If that’s not happening, then it’s worth considering whether or not this friendship is worth the energy expenditure.

Much love to you sweetness, my fave Hamzah writer😚❤️

oh my god why are we the same person....literally everything you explained about how you acted in that friendship is me. especially with leaving the hangouts feeling weird or angry. first off, i just wanna say how sorry i am that you had to go through that. just from having brief exchanges with you i can tell that you're a very sweet, good person and don't deserve that at all !! sending you a giant hug !! i 100% agree that the friendship is taking more than it's giving and i'm going to try to end it once i can properly gather my thoughts. i love you so so much god i needed to hear this thank you so much angel 🙁💟

[astroismypassion]

Can you do a Pisces moon men culture

Hi!

Hahah, you asked me this before already!

Here you go:

Where to even start…

I’ve been “lucky” to get so many learning opportunities through them. My father is one and my two other male friends. I’ve encountered a few that gladly didn’t stay in my life for too long.

So by now, you understand that I have yet to have more positive experiences with them.

It was supposedly to be said that these men have A LOT of secretly hating female figures in their life, starting with their mother. Which I must say, I ALMOST fully agree with this. 😬😳They really do seem like female figures often backstab them in life throughout their lifetime.

✨PISCES MOON MEN✨

Mention of s*x, ma**ur**tion

they are SAPIOSEXUAL despite telling you otherwise, they fall in love with all the smallest unconventional details of the person (how they pronounce certain words, their perception of life, unique character traits, compassion, being able to emphatize with them and STILL understand other peoples perspectives etc.)

they have tremendous respect for women, however it’s a double-edged sword. They will only have that level of respect for them if you are keep fulfilling their vision, desire. Once you lose that or disappoint, they become a women hater or god forbid even women abuser. Then all women are the absolute worst and ALL horrible.

further on that note, they will appear like they have two extreme opinions of women, when they are in a good space with their female partner, they will talk sweetly about their own mother and other women too. However, when you are not on good terms with them, they will blame everything on women, starting their seeming “bad” relationship with their mother.

they need a lot of space for their sexuality to flourish, so they will purposely travel a lot or keep their distance from you, so that they miss you more and that longing after their partner is created again. Because they basically feed of that.

another thing with them that ties into their sexuality, they thrive off DESIRE. And here comes in delusionment. They would often think that women around them are trying to flirt with them. So they would often say someone was flirting with them to make themselves look more desirable to other women. Once a woman was nice to them and they take it as flirty behaviour. They often equal being nice = flirting, because they were not used of nice treatment in childhood, but mostly neglect and ignoring. So when ignoring DOESN’T occur they too quickly mistake that niceness for flirting. They are a bit naive and gullible in this way.

Bringing on another point, despite being master manipulator, they can also be really, really naive due to not being chosen that often in younger years. A lot of them grew up in some strange religious dogma and didn’t talk to that many actual, real women (the closest they were usually a sister, an aunt who visited). They often “interacted” with women through “a lense”, a barrier, a buffer. Like they only saw Holy Mary statues, iconography, women in magazines, like Playboy often when younger so they got very distorted perceptions of women.

to me their sexuality is much like Sagittarius with a Libra mix. They like open-minded, opinionated women, who act a bit helpless at times or are a co-dependent partner. These men cling onto their partner as well, without NOT seeming that way to outside people.

either might strongly like or strongly dislike women feet. If not into feet, could be a hands, fingers person.

very experimental in bed, like to try something new that allows them to “travel” in their mind

more into idea of having a woman than while being in a partnership with her

fan of phone sex, might call like a hotline or something and mutual masturbation

Feel free to share more of your experiences below.

@astroismypassion

[youremyheaven]

girl your moon post was so accurate for me too! my father has rohini rising and is such a narcissist and a master at gaslighting. he resorted to manipulating ppl's perspective of me ig so they wouldn't believe me when i started calling him out after a liiiifetime of his crap. he is extremely two faced and a lot of ppl find him really sketchy, but those he manages to fool he fools really well. the only positives of this is that at least i can see these patterns in people easily. frankly, confronting a liar is so taxing bc even if you do manage to outsmart them they'll just make some excuse. like girl. i also know this hasta moon girl that is a pathological liar and every time i see her i just can't take anything she says seriously bc i just always feel like she's lying out of her ass ab the most menial stuff. her family has had issues w her bc she skipped school for months and no one knew ab it bc she would tell such bold lies like, "call my teacher. here, have the phone so you can talk to her ab my grades" and everyone was like, ig she's doing well in school otherwise she wouldn't offer to call? i genuinely worry thinking ab what if i have a kid and they have a moon nakshatra and express it negatively like this omg i'll go crazy. anyways thank you for your post it was so interesting to see such thoroughly explained examples 🤍 it reminded me of ariana grande as well who just seems so shamelessly manipulative to me too. like when she's like "for total transparency i'll say that..." i'm immediately like ok. so you're lying 😂

im glad 😭😭😭that my Moon post resonated with so many of you, it means so much to me

Im so sorry about your father. I agree with what you said about confronting liars, I confronted someone about something deeply hurtful that they said to me and they literally said "i don't remember" 😭😭 idk how these people sleep at night bro like do they not have a conscience??

I'm happy every time some shady person is exposed in the media, including Ariana who I've found sus for yearsss ,, it's so hard to be an intuitive bc u can't even explain why u feel the way u do so no one believes you when u say that somebody is not what they seem on the outside, u get torn apart for speaking the truth but sooner or later the truth will be seen and will be heard and I truly believe that.

I hope you remain protected from abuse of all kinds in the future and always surrounded by kindness and support. 💛💛

GIRLIEEE what u said about kids is sooo 😭😭I do think about that from time to time but i believe that kids are a manifestation of our karma so the more we focus on bettering ourselves and thereby bettering our actions, we can design our lives to be drama free. What kind of children we have depends on what kind of parents we're capable of being (and you are completely in control of how you behave/treat others) so don't feel too powerless about ur future kids!!! Focus on yourself and your healing and the rest will flow💛💛💛 also if you believe in manifestation 👀just believe that you'll manifest healthy and wonderful children

This blog is a hobby of mine but what makes all my research and writing meaningful is the fact that not only do I get to learn more about astrology, I get to reach people who perhaps might benefit from the things I share. I love to hear about your guys experiences related to the things I post bc sometimes I genuinely wonder like is anyone even reading my 5k words slander on a nakshatra lmfao

Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me about your experiences, I appreciate it so much 💛and i believe many others will also feel seen

[kylejsugarman]

(jigsaw voice) we are not done playing our Game (alaska au). what about baby, when she opens up about feeling so unwanted?

my extended trap sequence is just me putting people in non-lethal traps, appearing on the little monitor, and just talking about alaska for an hour before the locks open and ur free.....god poor baby :( its really hard for her to open up about it in the first place because it feels like such a terrible thing to think!! jesse and demi obviously take good care of her and have given her so much of their time and their love, what kind of ungrateful kid would think they're faking it?? what kind of kid would want more?? but she eventually does, albeit under duress, and it of course breaks her parents' hearts because they love her more than anything in the World. to know that she thinks she's a burden and that no one has ever wanted her is just debilitating tbh

it takes them a while to figure out how to express to baby that she is wanted, especially because they know that anxiety is powerful and there will always be a voice in her head telling her that this is all conditional and impermanent. honestly, the thing that helps the most is probably the therapy that baby starts receiving since it provides her with an outside perspective, someone with no skin in the game helping her unravel these thought loops and tell her that she is worthwhile and not a burden just by existing. jesse and demi do their best to support this journey and reinforce the things that baby is learning by encouraging her to vocalize where her thoughts are going and to use her coping mechanisms when she's anxious.

they also find their own special ways to love baby. demi introduces baby to more elements of yupik culture so that they can share in these special traditions and connect with their family, even the departed members. demi didn't just take baby in out of godmother obligation or pity: she did it because she loves baby. they are part of something special (the yupik tribe and the ayuluk family) and these connections are cherished, treasured. Wanted. before baby, demi did not feel these connections as strongly and felt her life was incomplete. baby completed her and tied her back to the communities most important to her. demi didn't just Want baby. baby made her whole. jesse is kind of distraught by the notion of baby feeling unwanted since he very nearly ruined his life because he so desperately wanted to be loved and chosen. he starts to open up more to her about some nebulous aspects of his past and his own feelings of inadequacy and loneliness just to let her know that she's not alone. it's a little awkward and uncomfortable, but he loves her too much to stay silent. he stays just as invested in her life and her interests and her health as he did before: it's just colored by a new vulnerability, a new openness. baby healed a part of him that he once thought would never recover and she deserves to know that, even if its sometimes hard to articulate.

[tokillamockingbird427]

hey katar again ! its random anon (now 🎧 anon because everyones random ^^) :)

after saying ill ask more asks in the future (in hopes of stepping out of my poor and very depressing comfort zone.), i have a very questionable “what if” hc i would love to share; merrick beardless. not cleanly shaven, i wont put the man under THAT much misery than i would like to but, its a very big difference to which even logan would gasp audibly. (i also hc he’s selectively mute, which was not mention at all last ask until i read ur response… shame on me.)

now, heres my perspective of how this could go, feel free to add on !;

1) the poor man is going undercover(alone or with other ghosts, ill leave that up to you.) mainly because merrick has a terrible sense of style and those who are close to him will probably recognize him from afar(inspired by your hc of who in the ghosts has the best/worst sense of style from a while ago, which i also agree with :)). but, the beard gives it away if you really see who the hell it is, so, he (regrettably) shaves the beard off to his demise. tears were shed, and not only from merrick. (a comment of merrick looking like mr.clean but with more facial hair was definitely made by someone.)

2) he got shaven because somebody decided to get revenge. (this parts completely up to you :D) Poor guy probably was in such a bad mood, and the comments did NOT help. hesh was probably the main one bullying poor merrick, along with keegan and kick, with neptune making a few comments and logan snickering and almost bursting out laughing everytime he sees merrick.(would be an accomplishment but in this situation…no.) if merrick was getting bullied before this, its fucking hell now.

anyways, thats the end of this ask ! its a little long like my previous ones which i apologize about. maybe even id even share another ask one of these days about another victim caught in my thoughts. :)

—🎧 anon

Good on you for stepping out of your comfort zone! Pleased that you decided I was a good first step lol. And neat sign off! 🎧!

"Not cleanly shaven" But imagine, hairless mole rat Merrick... A horrible reality in which he doesn't have that carpet of hair on his chest. Or arms. Or legs. Or his █████ (Explicit material censored)

Logan audibly gasping has me cackling. Bro never makes a noise, vocal or otherwise, but a beardless Merrick is literally so shocking he can't help it. Just slips out. GASP!

Okay okay, you say undercover, I say undercover too... but how fucking funny would it be if he had to be a dad to one of the other Ghosts? He'd be so done. "If you do not come by the dad instincts naturally you will be provided with them." and the Ghosts being the absolute shits they are (Because *all* of them are little shits.) would 100% be snuggling up to their "dad" at any given opportunity and making jabs about the missing face fuzz. "Oh yeah, he's been told he should grow a beard out, but idk I'm just so used to his face as-is. Been like that allllll my life." "Mom said I pulled all his face hair out as a kid, hasn't grown back since." "Some people say he looks like Mr. Clean, I think that's mean. I think he looks more like Lex Luthor." "Dad with a beard? Oh never. I don't think he can grow one!" Meanwhile Merrick just has to grin and bear it. Poor fuckin guy lmaooooo.

He gets his face shaved due to a bet he lost very sorely. As apart of the bet all the Ghosts get to shave one swipe off his face. (They all ganged up on him for this bet, hence the loss. I like giving Merrick a bit of a big ego, which is mostly harmless... to everyone but himself. Lol.) They all rip into him during the Shavening, which they have made an incredibly big deal, and while Merrick would like nothing more than to melt into the floor he's stubborn as a mule and refuses to back down or beg for mercy. (Which would not be given anyways.) It remains infamous in their history for years to come... mostly because Merrick concocted the most wild heist-esqe plan to get back at each and every one of the sorry fuckers who crossed him. A plan even Rorke can't rival! So good in fact, that I cannot even describe it to you. (Cheap cop out LMAO)

Please feel free to send more asks, ones even longer than this one, and don't apologize. I love seeing what other people come up with, and you are no exception, okay?

I eagerly wait another one of your asks in my inbox! :D

[eggtwobroes]

big post explaining/apologizing for my (eggtwobroes/theyhitthepentagon) behavior under the read more

sorry for maintagging this i just. think its important

i dont really kniw how to word what im thinking so im like. going to type it as im thinking. but i wanted to make a real genuine post explaining my behavior over the past year, because ive been a dick there is no avoiding it!! this post is going to be about how ive acted from june up until now. im mostly going to be explaining the situations and apologizing. if you see this please feel free to share it around, i know it most likely will not reach alot of people because i have like. a loot of people blocked. and alot of people have me blocked. idk please share this ok thank u

back in june 2022 (specifically one year tomorrow, june 16th) i got like. really worked up after i had foundout that most of my adult mutuals (and some people i followed) were drawing hlvrai nsfw! the only post i had made about it (at least from what i remember) is liiike a not Kind post that basically said "hey if u like hlvrai nsfw please block me i thought that was common sense". after i posted this a large hlvrai artist (either by chance or caused by me) posted like "hey if u shit on hlvrai porn ur homophobic! sex is an important part of gay relationships etc etc"

this caused a Massive out break of discourse over hlvrai nsfw and me getting alot of adults in my inbox being weird towards me. here i feel its important to mention that:

when i was 12, i was around Ex Friends that posted a lot of porn of media i liked. even though most of them were teenagers and not that much older than me it Greatly Impacted Me and how i act, both related to what i saw and how i was treated

i used twitter from ages 12-15 (recently left) and you know how they handle conflict there. its not good

i dont think either of these excuse how i acted (but they may explain it)

the combined pressure of getting a bunch of adults in my anons being (from my perspective) really weird about this 14 year old kid who doesnt want porn artists to interact, and the unhealed trauma of Being Exposed To Homestuck Porn When I Was 12 (a devastating situation that everyone goes though all the time) i didnt really. handle it in a Good Way. which Means i sent horrible anon hate to people.i dont clearly remember if i made alot of public posts about the situation at the time (beyond answering the anons i was getting) but if i did im very very VERY sorry.

i feel like. alot of how i acted during this time (june-early august, mostly) was extremely Dickish and rude. as much as i justify or explain why i acted the way i did, i was still causing issues and handling the situation in a way that was unhealthy for not just myself but for everyone else around me. for this i really genuinely do apologize as much as i can, to the people ive hurt (melonsharks, xenodogz, many other artists) and to the people who were annoyed by me rehashing 3 year old drama. ever since the situation i have been working towards learning to block people and move on if they make content that makes me feel nauseous.

As for how ive acted in recent months, mostly over characterization, im not going to pretend that im already a new person. because im not! as much as i say im trying to be less of an asshole im just Not. it takes effort that i feel like im not putting in.

for those who just Dont look at my pages often enough, i will occasionally make posts about how hlvrai fans treat or characterize the. characters. and lets behonest these posts are really rude and ive been working on at LEAST being more vague or keeping it in private or like. just Not Posting it. but of course i HAVENT done all of those things! ive been really unvague!

ive posted direct screenshots of authors writing (someone younger than me, ive recently learned) to shit on it for being mischaracterized. i should Not have done that. at the very least i should have kept my thoughts to myself, not even shared with my friends.

after reading how other authors and artists have felt about the things ive said, and looking at the way ive come to think of other artists or authors in the community, ive realized that even though i thought i was targetting mischaracterization and poor treatment of the characters, i was harming and discouraging artists and authors who are still learning and growing as creators.

for this, im VERY very sorry to all of the artists and writers ive hurt or discouraged with my posts. i want to personally apologize to joyflameball, for publicly posting about and hating on your writing and the discouragement i caused as a result. i should have never put mischaracterization over your own feelings, and i definitely should not have put your work on blast, especially because we are (i think) around the same age. i will be trying as best as i can to deconstruct the way ive come to think of other creators in this community and support other creators as best i can.

i dont expect to be forgiven for the way ive acted, since alot of this is VERY very recent and so far i dont think ive shown any signs of improvement. i am writing this post now because i want you all to know that i will be trying my hardest to become a better person, change the way i think of other people, and change the way i act in public. i dont think my actions can be excused, as much as i try my best to explain them from my perspective. ive undeniably hurt many people. if i havent addressed something important, or if you have any questions/things to say, please feel free to send me an ask or dm me at wretched yaoi lich#9564 on discord. im most likely going to be queueing this post alot so my followers see it. thank u for ur time

[nahalism]

i was wondering, how did you get to develop your art? im currently in a process where i am trying to experiment and go beyond the need to create art that is realistic (as in "objectively like reality as it is", like I was being told by both school and family). i feel like I struggle a lot to follow my inspiration because of this, and I am also trying to learn how to draw scenes from my own ordinary life, but unfortunately I am quite impatient and frustrated with my inability to create what I wish to create + perfectionism in general makes me scared of using colour as well 😭 I really admire your art so much, both your sketches and finished pieces, and I have always wondered your own learning process throughout the years. please feel free to not reply if you feel uncomfortable cause I know it is a very personal process as well, and above all I hope you are doing well and I am sending you endless love <333

🥺🥺 this is so lovely to receive because if im completely honest there are multiple moments where i feel exactly as you've just described and despite pushing through it, a message like this is very validating that ive progressed in some way

i dont mind sharing at all. i started drawing/painting when i was 21/22 which is relatively late and i was so fearful because despite having a vision for what i wanted to create i lacked any skill that could help me bring what was in my minds eye to fruition. i was also insanely depressed and in the middle of getting my degree at uni (so felt like i had no time to pursue art, at least not to the extent i wanted to). — my plan to get better consisted of multiple things. id draw everyday. i had/have two styles i'd practice, one realism, and the other 'freestyle'? basically draw only from my head and from the rhythms that came naturally to my hand, no references. by doing that, or drawing the human figure/portraits/cars/buildings from my imagination, not only was i reinforcing what id actually learned from my study of the fundamentals, but i was learning to incorporate my own creativity into the rigid structure that sometimes comes from only drawing from reference. by doing that and drawing studies every day i began to build a library in my head of images/poses/character archetypes i could pull from which made drawing from my imagination easier, but also had the structural knowledge of forms/perspective/anatomy to make them look credible. id do this whenever i had free time, and once i left uni began practicing anywhere from 6-9 hours daily. a bit extreme but i felt like i had time to make up for since i started drawing relatively late in life. only tip there is to balance practice with making finished pieces. finished pieces will show you which fundamentals you still need to work on & how much progress you've made. they also show the completion of a thought whereas practice only gives you the tools to bring that thought to reality

just so u know, ur practice of the fundaments is not in vain. you just need to revive your own capacity to draw from your imagination/subconscious. the main thing is knowing your going to find your work horrible for a long time before it gets better. the joy has to come from the process of creating rather than the end product. by the time it gets better, your eye will also have improved, so you still wont be satisfied. thats where growth comes in. being your biggest critic is what will make you great, as long as you remember where you came from (date and keep your work so you can look back on it) and the role criticism plays. separate your skill from your self worth.

something helpful i was once told is along the lines of 'perfectionism is a lie we tell ourselves to justify our procrastination. no one is ever perfect, so the only way to gain skill is to practice. you cant grow if you dont begin. so if your really a perfectionist, your only solution is to start'

i would love to see your work someday and hope i will. wishing you luck and sending you all the courage to begin and be great. you got this <3

[alphabetboyluvr]

hiii holly! i hope november's treating you kindly so far!

i wanted to ask whether you have any advice for writers that are just starting to publish. literally any modicum would be greatly appreciated.

it's really hard to assess whether one's writing is any good when literally no one ever reads it :( at the same time, I know I should write for myself first and foremost. can't help but want to be held accountable by the possibility of an audience, tho (maybe that's just my brain chemistry??) I fall into the pit of thinking "if no one's reading it, why am I even writing? I can daydream indefinitely and be satisfied. Why write?" Yet I always come back to writing; it's something magnetic.

it's not the same to ask close friends to read ur stuff bc they are ur friends, and may not give you the sincerity ur looking for so as to not discomfort u. conversely, they might not be interested enough so as to pick up on the fine details.

f/u question: how do you deal with publishing your work on the internet for free? does it ever scare you that strangers could copy and republish ur work without your knowing?

I guess that's one of my main apprehensions about posting loyally on writing platforms. I'm scared I'll write something I'm very proud of and have it plagiarized and not be able to track it back as my original property??

anyways, enough of my self-exposing on your q and a's feeling v vulnerable sharing my doubts so openly lol

thank youuuu :) ly <3

hiyaaa!! it's getting chilly, i won't lie, but other than that November has been pretty typical. likewise, i hope it's treating you well too!

honestly the fact you casually drop words like modicum probably suggests you're a paygrade above me in terms of writing hahaha

my answer is a long (srsly i just kept on going lmao) ramble, so I'll put a read more here haha

i've many lovely friends who i absolutely adore that I've met through writing that are now irls, but none of my friends that i know independently outside of writing have ever read my stuff - I've even got irl friends who are deep in the ao3 trenches, who are paying for other tannie writers' patreons, but we have an unspoken rule that my work is not to be read by them. i just don't let my friends read my work, full stop, so i get that sentiment.

the thing is, humans are naturally inclined to be storytellers - it's been that way for thousands of years. our tales are meant to be told. sharing is just a very human thing for us to do.

I've been publishing on wattpad (within the tannie space) for 4 years, now. readers didn't appear overnight - i actually recently found a screenshot of you up? from march 2021. it had 28 parts, 2.03k reads and 313 votes.

it now sits at 62 parts, 1.45million reads and 55k votes.

that's a little bit perspective for you, i guess - i'd written half of an entire novel that was averaging around 70 reads per chapter, but i loved that world, and i had story to tell, so i told it. some people viscerally hated it, some loved it. i was writing for me, and the numbers prove that. if you worry about the numbers, you'll never satisfied.

similarly, comparison is the thief of joy, or so they say.

comparing yourself to other writers is never healthy. there are far more 'successful' authors on wp in terms of reads, but i genuinely mean it when i say i think i have the most fulfilling and rewarding space on tannie wp because my readers are so unbelievably lovely. i wouldn't trade my current readership for bigger numbers, not a chance.

in terms of plagarism, there are 170,000 words in current use within the english language, and 36 plot types. we've exhausted a lot of them, already. overlap and similarities are bound to occur, so i try not get fixated on it.

take cv for example - i was so gassed up with myself when coining the terms mono and multi, only to find out after i'd finished writing the story that there was a drama with a similar concept that also used the term mono for a similar condition that aired after i'd already started writing cv. overlap happens.

similarly, we're a product of the media we consume. endeavour is my favourite word, because it was in a song i liked when i was a teenager and it stuck with me. i use it all the time, and we can trace it back to the pen of alex gaskarth lmao.

I've seen readers of mine publish work that's been heavily inspired by my work - with and without 'permission' - and i just sort of shrug my shoulders whenever i notice it.

the way i see it, we'll never tell the exact same story. likewise, no two readers will ever read identical texts the same way. i encourage creativity, and know how important it is for me to empty my brain, so I'll never go for someone's throat for doing the same. that's how myths were born, right? people telling and retelling the same stories over and over again? how am i gonna write a romeo & juliet x greek mythology inspired fic and then get annoyed for someone taking inspo from me?

just like the way hair will always grow back after a terrible cut, new words can always be written after a disappointing discovery. idk, i just don't take it very seriously, i guess.

as for whether or not your writing is any good - it's totally subjective. there are people who have explicitly, publicly stated their disdain for my writing. I've had cruel opinions about my writing projected and amplified to large followings. and it sucks.

but there are people who have been exceptionally kind about my writing, too. i get some of the loveliest messages in the world. there are tiktoks with hundreds of comments of just unadulterated loveliness directed towards my work. I'm afforded so much grace and love that it can be overwhelming at times.

not everything is for everyone, and that's okay. you can't let yourself get hung up on pleasing everyone.

the one thing i will say, is that if you're seriously concerned about your IP, write original characters, and use wattpad as your platform. i know they have a reputation, but they give a shit about copyright infringement and the second someone gets reported for plagiarism, they'll investigate it, and take down the story.

no reward without risk - you gotta decide if the risk of plagiarism is worth the reward of sharing your work.

and plus, ai is taking over anyways. may aswell write while we still can lol.

so i guess tl;dr - don't let outside influence impact your internal need to create. the right readers will find your work eventually, but it's not an overnight miracle kinda thing. if i stopped writing just because i didn't see results in my stats, then i would have stopped after kumiho, and we'd have never gotten throttle, or bd, or anything else of mine you might have read.

do it because you love it, and it fulfils you. i love the communities built around my stories, and that's why i share them. writing without sharing doesn't fulfil me in the same way.

okay i've really rambled too much so i'll leave it here, but i hope that helps a little!!! or at least has given you insight into my brain!!!!!!

luv u byeeeeeee