#if u publish

[alphabetboyluvr]

hiii holly! i hope november's treating you kindly so far!

i wanted to ask whether you have any advice for writers that are just starting to publish. literally any modicum would be greatly appreciated.

it's really hard to assess whether one's writing is any good when literally no one ever reads it :( at the same time, I know I should write for myself first and foremost. can't help but want to be held accountable by the possibility of an audience, tho (maybe that's just my brain chemistry??) I fall into the pit of thinking "if no one's reading it, why am I even writing? I can daydream indefinitely and be satisfied. Why write?" Yet I always come back to writing; it's something magnetic.

it's not the same to ask close friends to read ur stuff bc they are ur friends, and may not give you the sincerity ur looking for so as to not discomfort u. conversely, they might not be interested enough so as to pick up on the fine details.

f/u question: how do you deal with publishing your work on the internet for free? does it ever scare you that strangers could copy and republish ur work without your knowing?

I guess that's one of my main apprehensions about posting loyally on writing platforms. I'm scared I'll write something I'm very proud of and have it plagiarized and not be able to track it back as my original property??

anyways, enough of my self-exposing on your q and a's feeling v vulnerable sharing my doubts so openly lol

thank youuuu :) ly <3

hiyaaa!! it's getting chilly, i won't lie, but other than that November has been pretty typical. likewise, i hope it's treating you well too!

honestly the fact you casually drop words like modicum probably suggests you're a paygrade above me in terms of writing hahaha

my answer is a long (srsly i just kept on going lmao) ramble, so I'll put a read more here haha

i've many lovely friends who i absolutely adore that I've met through writing that are now irls, but none of my friends that i know independently outside of writing have ever read my stuff - I've even got irl friends who are deep in the ao3 trenches, who are paying for other tannie writers' patreons, but we have an unspoken rule that my work is not to be read by them. i just don't let my friends read my work, full stop, so i get that sentiment.

the thing is, humans are naturally inclined to be storytellers - it's been that way for thousands of years. our tales are meant to be told. sharing is just a very human thing for us to do.

I've been publishing on wattpad (within the tannie space) for 4 years, now. readers didn't appear overnight - i actually recently found a screenshot of you up? from march 2021. it had 28 parts, 2.03k reads and 313 votes.

it now sits at 62 parts, 1.45million reads and 55k votes.

that's a little bit perspective for you, i guess - i'd written half of an entire novel that was averaging around 70 reads per chapter, but i loved that world, and i had story to tell, so i told it. some people viscerally hated it, some loved it. i was writing for me, and the numbers prove that. if you worry about the numbers, you'll never satisfied.

similarly, comparison is the thief of joy, or so they say.

comparing yourself to other writers is never healthy. there are far more 'successful' authors on wp in terms of reads, but i genuinely mean it when i say i think i have the most fulfilling and rewarding space on tannie wp because my readers are so unbelievably lovely. i wouldn't trade my current readership for bigger numbers, not a chance.

in terms of plagarism, there are 170,000 words in current use within the english language, and 36 plot types. we've exhausted a lot of them, already. overlap and similarities are bound to occur, so i try not get fixated on it.

take cv for example - i was so gassed up with myself when coining the terms mono and multi, only to find out after i'd finished writing the story that there was a drama with a similar concept that also used the term mono for a similar condition that aired after i'd already started writing cv. overlap happens.

similarly, we're a product of the media we consume. endeavour is my favourite word, because it was in a song i liked when i was a teenager and it stuck with me. i use it all the time, and we can trace it back to the pen of alex gaskarth lmao.

I've seen readers of mine publish work that's been heavily inspired by my work - with and without 'permission' - and i just sort of shrug my shoulders whenever i notice it.

the way i see it, we'll never tell the exact same story. likewise, no two readers will ever read identical texts the same way. i encourage creativity, and know how important it is for me to empty my brain, so I'll never go for someone's throat for doing the same. that's how myths were born, right? people telling and retelling the same stories over and over again? how am i gonna write a romeo & juliet x greek mythology inspired fic and then get annoyed for someone taking inspo from me?

just like the way hair will always grow back after a terrible cut, new words can always be written after a disappointing discovery. idk, i just don't take it very seriously, i guess.

as for whether or not your writing is any good - it's totally subjective. there are people who have explicitly, publicly stated their disdain for my writing. I've had cruel opinions about my writing projected and amplified to large followings. and it sucks.

but there are people who have been exceptionally kind about my writing, too. i get some of the loveliest messages in the world. there are tiktoks with hundreds of comments of just unadulterated loveliness directed towards my work. I'm afforded so much grace and love that it can be overwhelming at times.

not everything is for everyone, and that's okay. you can't let yourself get hung up on pleasing everyone.

the one thing i will say, is that if you're seriously concerned about your IP, write original characters, and use wattpad as your platform. i know they have a reputation, but they give a shit about copyright infringement and the second someone gets reported for plagiarism, they'll investigate it, and take down the story.

no reward without risk - you gotta decide if the risk of plagiarism is worth the reward of sharing your work.

and plus, ai is taking over anyways. may aswell write while we still can lol.

so i guess tl;dr - don't let outside influence impact your internal need to create. the right readers will find your work eventually, but it's not an overnight miracle kinda thing. if i stopped writing just because i didn't see results in my stats, then i would have stopped after kumiho, and we'd have never gotten throttle, or bd, or anything else of mine you might have read.

do it because you love it, and it fulfils you. i love the communities built around my stories, and that's why i share them. writing without sharing doesn't fulfil me in the same way.

okay i've really rambled too much so i'll leave it here, but i hope that helps a little!!! or at least has given you insight into my brain!!!!!!

luv u byeeeeeee

[tartppola]

headmage's night terrors, based on raverne = crowley theory

[icaruspendragon]

make sure to leave suppressed bisexuality and self-worth issues out for castiel tonight

[sentientsky]

wait but can we talk about how jarring it is to read official news releases ab this show after marinating for months in the good omens fandom on tumblr?? like, i'll read a piece from an actual news site that goes something like,,, "Good Omens explores the dynamic between two unlikely friends--one angelic, one demonic--as they navigate their lives on Earth in the aftermath of a failed attempt to enact Armageddon. Throughout the course of the second season's six-episode run, Crowley (as played by Dr. Who's David Tennant) and Aziraphale (played by the delightful Michael Sheen of Prodigal Son) must face down power-hungry demons, unexpected visitors, and new job prospects, all while playing matchmaker for a couple of shopkeepers in the area. In the wake of an overwhelmingly positive reception from fans, there's discussion of an upcoming season 3."

and it's like,,, I-- WHAT??? is this how non-brainrotted individuals approach the story? did we even watch the same show???

cause meanwhile, for the past three months, we've all collectively been like,,,

we really truly are living in the eye of the hyperfixation hurricane, huh?

[saturnyukaa]

some tristevas i drew while the internet was out… enjoy

[oooocleo]

Do you have basic info abour your characters?

this was hard !! narrowing down the 50.000 character/worldbuilding notes i have floating around into little blurbs... but i wanted to make it digestible for Those Not In The Know (=everyone bc im a bit shit at talking abt my characters lol..... still, it feels very special when ppl seem curious about them or even just recognize them at all!)

also i do have other characters besides these four but theyre... the ones i draw/write for the most 🫡

patreon

[jesncin]

I love ur Lois so much!!! Lois has always reminded me of my mom and so seeing your version of Lois, one that faces similar uphill battle when it comes to work and how you can start sanding yourself down to try and get further, is amazing and touching. Can't wait to see more of this Lois, especially as she works up the ranks!

Thank you! I think that part of Lois (becoming less of yourself in order to move ahead in an industry, especially as a woman [of color]) is so underappreciated and should be explored way more.

[ifishouldvanish]

Fashion and Power; Hair and Identity: An Analysis of Olrox in Castlevania Nocturne

So. I've been thinking a lot lately about Olrox's design and how he dresses.

Like we have Drolta who is serving cunt in a totally different, usually wildly anachronistic, outfit every other scene... And we have Alucard still wearing the same tattered, moth-eaten overcoat he was sporting 300 years ago...

And then we have Olrox, whose outfit is very much in keeping with the style we see worn by our model french nobleman, the Marquis:

You can see the similarities between their looks: the stockings and shoes, the cravat, the tall collar, the pleats, the contrasting trims and accents, the highlights that suggest the fabric has a silken/satin sheen.

...But for his first appearance in Boston, he's wearing something similar—but not so flashy. Which makes sense, because a lot of the above details would be too ostentatious for colonial sensibilities and just not as accessible there. His Boston look is very clearly in the same style as Julia's outfit:

The boots with the dramatic cuffs, the wide lapels, the longer coat, the way the trims and accents are much more subtle, and the lack of that satin sheen we see in the French outfits.

I point this stuff out because it tells us that not only does Olrox dress well, but he dresses according to what is in fashion around him. He's not like Drolta, expressing himself by wearing whatever the fuck he wants—nor is he like Alucard, still dressing the way a past version of himself once did, existing sort of outside of time. That Olrox has two subtly different outfits in the span of ten years seems to indicate that this is a man who speaks the language of fashion, who understands the role it plays in society, and how it is used to assert power for oneself in the right contexts.

I've seen the take a few times of like, "Olrox is probably itching to take off those stuffy white people clothes" or whatever and... I can't say that I agree. I get the sense that he enjoys not just wearing fine clothes, but dressing in a way that signals to the people around him: "Do not presume that you are better than me". It serves as a form of armor, a safety blanket, a way to protect himself and assert the power he fears he will be denied otherwise.

I've said this before but like... his dialogue in his scenes with Drolta and Erzsebet is positively laden with these sort of subtle, calculated assertions or denials of power. From the moment he first arrives in Machecoul, he refuses Vaublanc's escort, thus refusing to engage on the terms they are trying to set for his visit: you are not my host, I am not dependent on you, I am here acting on my own interests and not to answer to your beck and call. He speaks carefully, politely, and hides his true feelings behind a façade of respectability. Saying all the things they want to hear, but wearing none of it on his face, in his eyes, in his tone of voice. He's playing a part, playing the game, and playing it well—all the while hiding his true intentions and dodging questions he doesn't want to answer.

That Olrox is such a careful, eloquent speaker can be read as a quintessentially 'Aztec' thing: the Nahuatl language is very full of metaphor, the nobility spoke a different dialect that distinguished them from the rest of society, and the ability to speak beautifully and wisely is something that was regarded very highly. Furthermore, the words we have on record that Motēuczōmah Xocoyotzin said to Cortés and that the Spanish would later use to claim the Mexica thought Cortés was a god, were probably more like... sarcasm. You've heard of malicious compliance; the Mexica were apparently fond of malicious politeness: over the top flattery meant to mock rather than praise. Which is exactly the vibe Olrox gives off in his exchanges with Erzsebet. ("Yes, charmed to meet you", "Flattered, for a god to have heard of me," "As you well know, I both admire and worship you, goddess," etc.)

I think his manner of dress functions as an extension of this.

While Olrox's clothing bears like, zero resemblance whatsoever to how men styled themselves in the Mexica empire (Fantastic references by Daniel Parada on ArtStation), the Mexica did have strict sumptuary laws about which classes of people could wear which types of clothes/colors/fabrics/jewelry/hairstyles. Maybe he was a commoner who had to wear clothes out of rough maguey fiber and never wants to go back to that. Maybe he was nobility and this is a mentality that he has clung to. Either way, fashion as a language of status, power, and control is something Olrox would understand intimately.

Consider Drolta for a moment: in retrospect, the fact that she has so many outfits and wears whatever she wants to the point of outshining Erzsebet in every scene she's in, was a strong indicator that she was the one with the real power, the one pulling the strings all along.

And here creates a stark contrast: Drolta who asserts her power by dressing in a way that expresses herself in her own visual language, vs Olrox, who is asserting his power in the visual language of his oppressors. Even in Drolta's more conservative outfits, there are a lot of details that are undeniably her own spin on the style; she's playing with these conventions rather than conforming to them. She does not have to play the game and follow the rules in the same way that Olrox does.

So now let's address the elephant in the room:

Olrox's hairstyle is... not at all accurate to how men were wearing their hair in pre-colonial mesoamerica, which was either a sort of shoulder-length bowl cut, shorn on the sides, or long but matted and tied back. (More fantastic references by the same artist on ArtStation) But unlike his clothing, it's also not a style that would be considered fashionable to the European upper class.

I've seen plenty of people theorize that it's meant to resemble a style that would have been appropriate for Mahican men at the time—a way to pay homage to the man he loved. But I don't really think this is the case. For most tribes in the northeast, men either traditionally wear two braids, or in times of war, a 'roach' or 'mohawk' hairstyle: with most of the head shaved except for a single lock, which might be adorned with feathers, beads, and so on. At most, Olrox's single braid could maybe be a nod to this, but not the hairstyle as a whole.

Honestly, I struggle to find any tribes whose men traditionally wear their hair loose, and I'm sure half of this design choice was just the animation team trying to give him some likeness to his voice actor. Zahn McClarnon, who is Hunkpapa-Lakota, often wears his long hair loose—though this hairstyle isn't necessarily characteristic to the Lakota either, who also traditionally wear their hair in 2-3 braids (and which to be fair McClarnon also wears often). The other half of this design choice I'm sure lies in the fact that loose hair lends more flexibility for animators to use it expressively in-frame.

Regardless, any piece of media is in conversation with a contemporary audience. Nowadays, it's pretty common for indigenous men from various cultural traditions to sport long, loose hair. And there's a reason for this: regardless of the specific beliefs and practices around hair from one tribe to another, hair has become a strong marker of cultural identity for the larger, pan- indigenous community, as the forced assimilation of indigenous people often manifested as the cutting off of indigenous men's hair in boarding schools. In this context, to grow out one's hair can be a way of reclaiming a part of their identity which has long been forcibly taken from them.

So... the cultural/historical inaccuracy of Olrox's particular hairstyle aside, we can still look at the significance of hair itself in a broader sense: Hair is important to his character.

I look all the shots we get of Olrox's hair, the way it is used in the frame, used so expressively, and it feels like... yeah. His hair is the piece of himself he refuses to let go of. The clothes can change, he can bow down to Bàthory, get branded, etc. But his hair is an inextricable part of him. In this context, his hair becomes his identity, this stand-in for his true self when all the rest of him (clothes, speech, etc) are functioning instead as a sort of social camouflage.

We normally see Olrox's hair neatly swept behind his shoulders, often with a few strands framing the side of his face. But we get a couple of scenes where this isn't the case:

The first time we get a shot of Olrox's hair kinda spread out and disheveled outside of motion scenes is the cut to him and Mizrak lying in bed after having had sex. Paired with the askew angle of his body contrasted against Mizrak's rigid body, Olrox's hair suggests that he is in a vulnerable state, that he has let his guard down if not physically, then emotionally. He has "let his hair down" and already caught some kind of feelings for Mizrak—while Mizrak spends this scene putting up a giant brick wall.

The majority of Olrox's hair here is also to his left—away from Mizrak. While Olrox has given up some measure of power here, he doesn't need Mizrak to know that yet. He turns his head to see what Mizrak is doing, and receives a clear message: Mizrak is not ready to give up any power or control. Not ready to be vulnerable with him. And so Olrox takes this cue to sit up and let his hair return to its usual, neatly gathered position—thus putting back up a kind of wall of his own as he tries to coax some honesty out of Mizrak through more deliberate means.

In the S1 finale, we see Olrox's hair cover his face just as Machecoul falls to Erzsebet and becomes enshrouded in shadows. One Nahuatl expression, "Axcan mixtlapachmana yn tonatíuh" translates to, "Today the sun has covered its face." This is an expression of grief over the death of a leader or elder, the fall of a city, or the loss of a tradition. Despite the stoicism on his face in this moment, Olrox's hair tells us how he really feels. Something has been lost, and despite the fact that he probably expected it—despite the fact that he has been here before—he is still grieving that loss.

During the S2 branding scene, we see Olrox get on one knee and bow to Erzsebet—thus arriving at the inevitable conclusion of the game he's been playing all season. In his effort to survive by playing along, conceding his pride, his ego, his integrity, his self—he still finds himself trapped. As he accepts his fate, his hair fails over his face in a pattern that resembles the bars of a cage or prison cell. (Interestingly, his dialogue before this is "What did he do?", which makes this whole scene echo his "what crime did you commit?" scene with an imprisoned Edouard in the catacombs back in S1)

In S1, we also got a scene where Olrox bows to Erzsebet, but it's very different from this one. He never gets on his knee, and his hair remains neatly draped over his shoulders. He's conceding a little bit of power, but it's a strategic thing he ultimately does with some degree of willingness. In the S2 bow however, it is because he recognizes he is cornered and no longer has any moves left to make.

In S2E6, we see Olrox waiting at the harbor, preparing to leave to return to the New World. In the previous episode, he asks Mizrak to come with him—who refuses on the grounds that they would spend their lives hiding from Erzsebet. I'm sure @mysteryanimator could write an essay about the framing in this scene and how it makes it so that Olrox is boxed in and can't leave—but his hair is flowing freely. He doesn't have to leave. He has always had a choice: the choice to stay and to fight, and to win true freedom—not just a life on the run, or the sort of double life of having to carefully navigate the social world of others and keep his true self hidden in order to survive.

Now, in the S2 finale, Olrox turns a dying Mizrak into a vampire—but they have an interesting conversation leading up to that moment, and for just about the entirety of this conversation, Olrox's hair is obscuring his face. There is something he is hiding from Mizrak in this scene, something keeping them apart and keeping this conversation from being an open and totally honest one. I've written about what I think this scene foretells, and @mysteryanimator has also done a really thorough shot-for-shot analysis about the visual storytelling happening here, which also touches on the role Olrox's hair plays in this scene.

After Olrox turns Mizrak, we see him lying in bed with his shirt open, exposing his chest and bisecting his heart. The Nahuatl "Omeyolloa" translates to "two hearts", or "the heart is split in two", and refers to an internal conflict. But Olrox's hair is splayed out around him, adding to the sense of vulnerability and being laid bare. While Olrox's hands are folded in his lap with apprehension or restraint, his hair seems to reach in Mizrak's direction in their stead. The hair gives voice to the half of his heart that cares about Mizrak and wants to reach out to him, while the rest is immobilized by the guilt or remorse over what he had to do to keep him.

I've also written a bit of analysis about how this shot mirrors the shot of Julia bleeding out in S1E1: how Olrox's hair is pooled around him the same way her blood was, and how these compositions suggest a sacrificial offering. In this scene, Olrox is offering his hair—his self—up to Mizrak in a gesture of love and penance.

Anyway I could probably go on but I have reached the 10 image limit and this is long enough already. I guess if there's a point to be made with all of this, it's that I don't think the cultural/historical inaccuracy of Olrox's design detracts from his character, but actually does a lot to tell a story about how he has been affected by the forces of colonization, and in what ways his identity as a Mexica man influences the way he now navigates the world around him.

But mostly??? I just love Olrox Castlevania Nocturne and like thinking about him a totally normal amount 🫠🫠🫠

[oh-no-its-bird]

Canonical MILF energy gender nonconforming single mom boruto Orochimaru you continue to be the funniest thing in the whole wide world to me

[p4nishers]

[thru tears] yah the fifth elephant was nicq

[inkskinned]

my father told me he read it, but he hasn't read it. that's okay. my friends keep picking the words out of my throat.

someone once told me that the more trigger warnings that go on a book, the better it is. i didn't mean to write something with so many conditional phrases - i was writing about what i felt while being a human. sometimes you are a person and sometimes you are a statistic. sometimes it is falling upwards and sometimes it's sliding back down again.

my father tells me that it will be difficult to get people to read it. i didn't like the idea of a singular genre. i'm not going to lie to you - it is actually a difficult book to get through. i change the rules in it. it's not poetry or prose explicitly. it's neither false nor reality. i give you the tools to "solve" the book, but i let you do the thinking. my father says people don't care to think. i don't know about that - i think we just, like, enjoy reading.

the thing is - i was tired of stories about survival where someone with depression goes to therapy and wakes up okay. i didn't live like that. i was tired of books about violence, where the gore of what i experience was splashed in glitter to lick off the page. like, i was a person, you know? i had a life and a job and a family. and in books, i watched my story get ripped up so people could explore the viscera of my body. so they could feel good. my brother once called it inspiration pornography. we had walked out of a suicide-prevention seminar, both of us disgusted while the increasingly-elated presenter kept listing methods-of. i remember the look on my brother's face. like i would tear that man apart given the right time and place.

my father says that kids these days. he warns me against writing about things that are too-serious. he says that they don't want it. i don't listen. he does make me take out a scene from the book where i go to church after having sex with a woman. it used to be the 7th scene in the book. i don't think he's read further than that, it rocked him too hard to continue.

it's a book about being queer. it's a book about being raised catholic. it doesn't have monsterfucking, i'm sorry. it's just about, like.

at some point you have to choose to stay here. and then you do have to stay here, which takes practice. this is about forming the habit. this is about what happens after you've already started doing the work. because, like. you keep going. you have to. and it's like. very imperfect.

i should make a post on instagram. i should make this announcement less bittersweet. but like -- i'm giving it you, specifically, because i think you know why i had to write it. you and me. this little community.

body's a bad monster. here's the link if you're interested in ordering.

[deadtower]

Do you like books about guys and girls that spend the entire book as best friends and don’t get together at any point in the story?

Do you like books where “aaaaagggghhhhh [my telekinesis throws the furniture across the room]” is not just a hilarious Tumblr post, but also something that happens at regular intervals to the deuteragonist?

Do you like books where sixteen-year-olds get sacrificed by their parents to eldritch gods that live in their basement but the sacrifice doesn’t entirely take and they Come Back… Right? Sort Of????

WELL THEN HAVE I GOT THE BOOK FOR YOU.

(It’s my first book and also, like, it’s free on Kindle Unlimited and only $4.99 on Kindle, and if you really can’t afford it, you can send me a message with your email and I can send you a PDF of it, so like… why not, y’know.)

[bauliya]

Can I just say in six weeks when Neil Gaiman pulls the Johnny Depp DARVO playbook and sues his victims and claims they abused him and he has proof, all these “no one wrote good omens” and “separate the art from the artist” and “it’s my comfort fandom” assholes are going to come on here and make posts about they always knew he was the victim actually and people don’t care about men being abused and feminism is about gender equality and if you don’t support Neil Gaiman you’re trash and everyone owes him an apology???? because they’re absolutely going to do that. complete with corny fanart of aziraphale and crowley hugging him or some shit.

[cyclorose]

' FRANKENSTEIN OF WIRES '

short fanfic found in ao3 ⚙️ (click for link)

REGARDING THE STORY!

- >3.700 words (9 pages. ≈20-30mins to read)

- sci-fi

- warnings: dysphoria, brief mention of vomit, mild & non-explicit depiction of gore & body horror/modification, implied death

reblogs are appreciated! :)

[cheersonlyy]

I loved Dogman's movie sm, now to see all the comics

Extra + sketch ↓

⋆.˚ 𝗥𝗘𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗘 .𖥔

✶⋆.˚TᗩᘜՏ.ᐟ ⋆.˚

[archive-z]

The Vampire: A New History by Nick Groom