#feeling like. okay but a little unstable and like maybe it has to do w how ive been thinking a lot about how

[fmab]

insane personal rambling below in the tags. hm. sorry !

[rozcdust]

I don’t speak to whores

Pairing: Bonten x AroAce!GN!Reader, QPP Kazutora Hanemiya x AroAce!GN!Reader

Genre: Crack, fluff

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Canon divergent, profanity, ooc, whore behaviour, qpp relatinship, NO ROMANCE, just reader bullying Bonten, vomiting, drinking, taking care of a drunk person, reader has emotional capabilities of a carrot

masterlist

Somehow, in the entirety of 2 minutes you were gone, leaving to change out of Kazutora’s oversized clothes into Kazutora’s oversized clothes, the situation escalated into having two, instead of only one, grown men sobbing on the floor of your bathroom, clutching onto each other like long lost brothers, as if they didn’t meet each other exactly 15 minutes ago.

You will absolutely make sure to send Mikey the babysitting fees for having to do this bullshit at all.

You have no idea who the he Kakucho is crying over is, but you’re pretty certain Kazutora is weeping over that one tiny incident where he may or may have not stabbed Keisuke as a mentally unstable, undiagnosed teenager.

Your platonic boyfriend is weeping over Keisuke, who Kazutora saw less than 12 hours ago, and who is, in fact, still very much alive.

May Lord help you cope.

Taking one of the bottles of sake Kazutora kept in the fridge, slamming the refrigerator doors shut, you take a long, deep sigh as you open the bottle, gulping down half of it right away.

You’ll need it for the shit show about to occur.

Cautiously poking Kazutora’s shoulder with a broom, you tilted your head, eyes darting between him and Kakucho.

“Need anything?” Whispering, you pointed towards Kakucho, carefully observing Kazutora’s tearful eyes for any indication of what the actual fuck to do.

Kazutora was easy to care for in his down moods, excelling in communication and making his needs known, so you could assume that he could be fixed with some light cuddling and plenty of kisses, maybe some soft bullying.

However, you doubted there was a manual on emotional support for depressed, emotionally constipated and violently drunk gang members.

“A hug.” Kazutora sniffed, pathetically, unwrapping one of his arms from Kakucho and extending it towards you, offering you space to slither in.

You had a hard time keeping the grimace off your face as you cautiously looked between the two men, thinking of an excuse on the spot.

“Um, sure thing Tora, just- Lemme check that our fish aren’t drowning.”

“He kept fish too!” Kakucho sobbed harder, gripping Kazutora’s shoulders like his only lifeline.

God.

“You don’t gotta hug us if you don’t wanna, baby, no worries.” Borderline whining, Kazutora’s arm slumped to the ground, his gaze moving away from you.

Fuck.

Kazutora had an excellent grasp of boundaries, and even if he knew you didn’t mind physical affection with him, he knew it was an issue for you with others, and he’d always politely ask before as much as kissing your cheek, never forcing anything on you even if he himself was touch starved as hell.

Yet the utter defeat in his voice made you feel just a little guilty.

Putting the broom down, you take a step towards them, sitting on the ground and getting into the space Kazutora opened for you, wrapping your arms around both men.

Okay, not too bad yet, you thought to yourself as they leaned each on one of your shoulders, letting go of each other to hold you instead, Kazutora’s arms firmly around your waist and Kakucho’s carefully thrown around your shoulders, his touch feather light compared to Kazutora’s death grip.

If they get snot on you, you will be taking legal action against them both.

“There, there, boys, no need to cry now, is there? Momma didn’t raise a bitch.”

Wrong words, y/n.

Wrong fucking words.

“My mum died!” Kakucho choked out, suddenly tightening his grip as he buried his face into your shoulder, clearly barely choking down the loud sobs rocking his body.

“Mine hated me!” Kazutora yelped against your neck, snivelling, balling his hands into fists as he gripped the fabric of your - well, his - shirt.

Handling crying people is fucking hard, how is Baji so good at this? You’ve seen Kazutora and Chifuyu have a meltdown on him often enough to be mad at the way he made it look so easy to calm them down.

You comforted yourself by considering the fact that perhaps Baji, despite having the smarts of a first grader, simply had more emotional intelligence than you’d ever truly need or want.

You wished he could airdrop you some now, though.

Racking your brain to remember what Baji did when Chifuyu or Kazutora started getting snot and tears on his shirt and sobbing so loud that you couldn’t think, all you came up with is that he’d stroke their hair and call them pet names.

Aight, doing that now. Treating an ex-con and a wanted criminal like cats. Fully reasonable. That’s a fully normal Thursday.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, get it out, crying is healthy…” Awkwardly getting your arms out of Kakucho’s and Kazutora’s iron grip, you manage to gently set them on their head, raking through their hair.

Your back ached.

You should move them to the couch, maybe they’ll calm down and you can slink away, sell them a lie you’ll go buy milk and just never come back.

No, Kazutora would see through that.

Hm.

“Hey, guys, let’s move to the bed? Sleep will help you, I’m sure.”

Kakucho’s legs refused to work, but Kazutora was capable enough to help you drag him to your shared bed, before both of the men immediately fell on the bed and kept crying.

Won’t this cause dehydration? Do they need more water? Perhaps more vodka? Would knocking Kakucho out and dealing with Kazutora only be ethical?

Probably not, Kazutora may disown you if you did that, he was always the more moral one in the relationship.

Luckily, shoving a plushie into Kakucho’s hands seemed to occupy him enough so his sobs calmed into whimpers instead. It was a rather small, blue cat, with a bowtie and a tiny suit, a gift Kazutora bought you to cheer you up after a bad day, but you suspected that was merely an excuse so he had a reason to add one more plush toy to his, frankly, absurd collection.

“There, she’s nice and fluffy, isn’t she?”

Kakucho merely nodded, hiding his face in the plushie.

Kazutora was laying next to him, calming down slowly and steadily, but his hands still shook, the only difference was that the tears streaming down his face were silent.

“Hey, Tora, want me to spoon you? You can be the little spoon.” Whispering, you move a strand of bleached hair to look at his face better, craning your head to press a kiss to his cheek.

Kazutora nodded, rather shyly, as if he didn’t spend most nights falling asleep halfway on you.

He curled up into you as soon as your arms locked around his waist, rubbing soothing circles into the skin of his sides, trying to make himself smaller.

He always did that when he was upset, seemingly wishing to become invisible, a habit stemming all the way from his childhood, and you truly considered hunting down his father and throttling him.

For now, though, you just wait for Kakucho and Kazutora to fall asleep.

. . . next

🔖Taglist (open):

@dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @rinsie @kisekihany @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @levistiddies @graythecoffeebean @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @xashiui @bontens-whore @nqctre @lumi-does-some-stuff @hana-patata @hxked @erza-uzumaki @sh4nn @sisnot @nahoyas-nymph @one-green-frog @justrandomlypassing @kio-kookie @haikyuu-simps-assemble @ayhashi @tiredlattes @crown5 @medusalovessnakes @bblyerim @ohnoyouareasimp @sakinotfound @syddisheep @barcelona-sergei @solliver05 @vanillaashakee @gumiwaka @withlovetengen @naorizenin @bontensbabygirl @anahryal @luvjiro

[gam3bo1-movedagain]

— DOMESTIC SHIP MEME ! (under the cut 😋)

@likescrazy

who reaches out to new neighbors? oh my fucking god why do i feel like neither of them would. MNSBDMDNBCMSDN theyre both busy people! there are better/more productive shit to do than to greet new neighbours! they'd just end up running into e/o in th fucking lift or something and exchange pleasantries there idk

who remembers to buy healthy food? serena <3 bcos tate is a child

who remembers to buy junk food? tate :sob: he'd forget everything else BUT junk food... like the first and last time tate went grocery shopping he came back with 43793749583749 bags of snacks and NONE of what serena asked him to get

who fixes the oven when it breaks? god both. theyd do it together. and theyd ACTUALLY fix it!

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s)? they take turns methinks x

who wakes up earlier? maybe tate but like. by a minute or two... i know they'd wake up at the same time tbh

who makes the bed? its a game 4 them. whoever gets up later has to make the bed... MSDNBCSMDNCB

who makes the coffee? HMMMM i think it depends?? whoever gets to the kitchen first makes the coffee :yum:

who burns breakfast? nobody but tate probably fell asleep standing up while making pancakes and he ended up charring most of it <3 MSBCMNDC

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house? okay i think...... i think they'd leave together. like theyd both head out at the same time idk??? when they have to part though tate would kiss her <3

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home? instantly complaining ab their day. and then a smooch <3 and a "what's for dinner" (ik tate would wait outside her office building though... he enjoys walking home w her :D)

who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often? definitely tate...hed bring home food!! lots of takeout. hc: they have takeout thursdays! MSNDBCMDSNBCSN

who picks the movie for movie night? mayb they take turns? but i feel like tate would let serena pick most of the time???

their favorite kind of movie to watch? crime documentaries maybe... or action...

who first suggests a pillow fort? tate <3

who builds the pillow fort? s-serena... MSDNBCSMDNCBSDM tate wouldve tried building it but it jst looks weird and unstable </3 so serena wldve torn down th entire fort and fixed it herself

who tries to distract the other during the movie? surprisingly i feel like theyd both be too into the movie they dont even think about making out or messing around SDNCBSMDNCBSDMN

who falls asleep first? THIS ALSO DEPENDS???? I KNOW TATE WOULD PASS OUT WITHIN A MINUTE THE MOMENT HE GETS COSY IN BED...

who is big spoon/little spoon? tate is Definitely the big spoon!!!!!! <3 he likes having serena in his arms shes sm smaller than him 🥺

[rianafying]

i’m turning 23 in 2 months. it’s raining today. i just watched an episode of heartbreak high. i have 5 different very important emails to send and 300 pictures to edit for work. i also have to pick up some parcels from the post office. and also call nanu make sure she’s doing okay. i’m apprehensive all the time. i’ve been apprehensive for as long as i can remember. even in elementary school. i need to somehow miraculously manage my stress to get my cortisol levels down. and everyday for many many many days i’ve been the most exhausted person on the face of this planet, and yet i keep on limping through life. it’s not all bad, but i feel bad. at least it’s raining today. maybe i could listen to the new song i found earlier today. i wanna dance but to loud music. i feel uncomfortable with headphones on, it’s a sensory issue, i feel deprived and anxious. i wanna dance to some loud ass music. maybe 23 won’t be awful. 22 wasn’t the most awful year of my life. too much happens, all the time. i don’t want anything to happen ever. enough things have happened for one lifetime. please can the rest of my life be boring please.

i was wondering if i should throw away my fan, vacuum cleaner and steam oven or get a storage thing or risk offending my relatives by asking them to keep em in their garage. they all have two storey houses, what’s a little oven gonna do to ruin that? my mother is an unstable woman. and for that i have suffered and continue to suffer, but i believe it’ll get better when i won’t have to depend on her financially. i kind of want to disappear. for like a long time. but where would i go? what would i wear/eat? i’ve been disappointed in my inability to do a regular job. it’s not even the job that’s the issue, it’s the application process. my sibling said they’ll help me w it but i still don’t do it. i had a whole box of cherries this morning. i’d been craving cherries for such a long time. finally gave in. i wish i was better at things. like cleaning, working, etc. it seems as if i’ve lost interest in doing things. even things i’m supposed to love doing. they say it’s depression and i believe they, but what next? what now? i hope my fake will to live becomes real someday. i might not make it. but i do try. everyday i try.

my bed has been good to me. i have not been good to my bed. it needs serious cleaning, there’s crumbs on it. but my bed has been good to me. january’s such a strange month. so much to think about. which is the last thing i want to do. think. i wish i could dump out all this chaos vomit from my head and wash it out with cold water. have a fresh start. new year new me?

when will it be worth it? i live for my sibling. their well-being is worth it. at least i have someone to love unconditionally. not the most glamorous purpose in life. but it’s a purpose that i never doubt. maybe i’ll find some shiny cool new other purposes to add on to it.

i’m grateful for tumblr and my notes app. i couldn’t have done it without u two. but yeah, about the years passing me by. oh tell me why, i’m doomed to hold on to this fight. while i stay in all day shutting away these thoughts i have to hide. but i’m kidding myself i know that nothing can change the way i feel inside. it doesn’t have to be so difficult. i can’t be a part of this villainy. at least i’m not currently dealing with the perils of romantic heartbreak.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Okay so I live (all things said and done) not far from the arctic circle, and long story short got to thinking about the various snow/ice safety things that are drilled into you up here and what to be wary of- like Snow Blindness 👀 what if MC,all alone, ended up out in the icy fields, her goggles broken/etc from a fall, and she ends up with it? In pain, blinded, she can’t tell what is where and Sans sees all of this unfolding, the growing panic, her probably eventually going still as she realizes trying to fumble around would make her more lost…. Would he lead her to safety, perhaps tapping on the ice in front of her to lead her way back to her warm tent, or would he take advantage and perhaps bring her to safety in some sort of icy cave only he has access to, to “nurse” her while her eyes recover~?

“stop.”

The voice was so distinct that if you’d heard it before, you would’ve recognised it immediately. You didn’t. The soft, dark, sonorous tone didn’t belong to anyone on the research team- it didn’t belong to anyone you’d spoken to before.

But you knew who it was.

Your eyes hurt. They hurt so much, the aching worming back into your head and spreading through in a headache that felt like it was going to split your skull in half. You had snow blindness- your goggles had broken hours ago, and your attempts at keeping your eyes shielded had done nothing to aid your worsening condition. You couldn’t see anymore, eyes squeezed shut in your last attempt at defending them from the glare... a gritty sensation under your eyelids was making irritated tears drip down your cheeks no matter how many times you tried to wipe them away. The sun was setting, you didn’t know where you were, you couldn’t see... at this point, the fear of freezing to death in the arctic was nagging at the back of your head.

You didn’t know where you were. 

... 

You’d obeyed the voice instinctively, stopping dead. Yes... despite not recognising it, you knew exactly who it was. 

That was what frightened you.

“Wh-what do you want?” You blurted, heart beginning to pound even faster than before.

How was he there? How far had you moved? You weren’t wearing your ear protection... stumbling home blind and deaf just wasn’t an option. Part of you wanted to force your eyes open to see him, to see the giant orca siren who had been stalking you in both the waking world and your nightmares. But at this point it wasn’t possible anymore- your eyes were so painful, trying to open them felt like trying to drag your hands over broken glass.

So you had to just stand there, blinded. Even more vulnerable than before.

“just listen to me.” Despite the musicality and silkiness to his deep voice there was an underlying urgency that couldn’t be faked. It was coming from just a distance ahead of you... only a few paces, if your hearing was correct. “you’ve walked onto thin sea ice.”

“... H-huh?” 

“there’s cracks everywhere. all around you. if you go forward anymore you’ll fall through and drown.”

... Your heart very nearly stopped. You thought the swaying you’d felt through your feet had just been from the confusion and splitting headache- not from walking so far out you’d managed to make your way onto the treacherous thin ice that’d give way under you any second.

“i’m going to lead you back to safety, okay? just follow the sound of my clicks.”

...

... You didn't really have the grounds to question him. I mean... what were your options? You'd blindly wandered onto deadly and fragile ice, an inky and icy death waiting just a few inches of frozen water below you. You desperately needed help, there was no way you were getting away safely on your own... if you take his help there's a chance he's lying, so you die, but if you reject him...

... You die either way. Might as well take the route with a sliver of hope. Maybe he’s... had a sudden change of heart? Randomly decided not to eat you?

Besides... You thought, shuddering. There's gotta be a little truth to it. Why would he try to trick me if I’m that close to gaps in the ice? Why bother leading me if I’m within range?

... You just... tried not to think about the fact that orca siren were well known for toying with prey for hours.

You heard his clicking, easily penetrating through the ice just ahead of you. That familiar echolocative sound... tapping like water droplets hitting a stone floor interspersed between louder clicks that you felt in your feet.

... You took a shaking deep breath, wiped away more tears... and started stumbling after the monster’s beckon.

He was right about there being cracks everywhere. The ground continually rocked beneath you; as he led you across the ice, you occasionally heard him surface, breath and rippling water... then the clicks would begin again somewhere else- further ahead or a little to the left or right. All around you there were places for him to come up for air... holes that you could’ve staggered straight into.

He led you across the shaking and unstable ice, weaving your stumbling blind form out of a maze of cracks and imminent danger. He could probably sense, with his echolocation, what sections of ice were thick enough for you to safely walk across.

Eventually, the ground evened out, and stopped rocking back and forth when you trod on it. His breaks for air became fewer, and further between... it must’ve been safer territory now...

...

... You turned your face.

... You didn’t have to see the setting sun to be able to see it. Everything under your eyelids got brighter when you turned toward it, you felt a modicum of warmth on your cheeks and still-burning eyelids.

So...

...

“W-we’re... going the wrong way.”

... You heard him pause, his clicking stopping short as he surfaced a short distance away. You couldn’t tell if he’d turned to face you or not, you desperately wanted to see.

“The... the st-station is... east, from the m-melting ice. We’re... g-going south right now...?”

...

His voice changed. You could hear the smile- in your minds eye you could see the dark grin spread across his face.

“i said i’d take you to safety. didn’t i?”

... 

You clapped your gloved hands over your ears and, just like you’d been trained to do, began shouting out the lyrics to the first song that came to mind as loud as you possibly could. Just underneath the words you were yelling you could hear something beginning to resonate... something sweet and beautiful, soothing and otherworldly and terrifying, but you couldn’t linger on it, not even for a second, you couldn’t think about it at all because as soon as you concentrated on the sirensong instead of your song you wouldn’t be able to pull yourself back again. As soon as you thought about him instead of the stupid lyrics, instead of the burning in your eyes and head, instead of the hoarseness in your throat, it’d all be over.

...

A gunshot.

The bullet landed in the water only a few feet away from where Sans was floating, sending up spray that dotted the ice around it. It caught you and the siren off guard- both of you stopped, your panicked yelling broke and the beautiful melody cut short jarringly like an entire orchestra freezing mid performance.

You took your hands away from your ears just in time to hear Sans mutter “stupid researchers...” before the unmistakable splash of him diving back under the surface again; under the ice, back into the depths.

For a second, you literally couldn’t help it- you forced your eyes open the barest fraction, the glare immediately shooting pain through your skull. And... it was Hit, in his signature black and red coat, the sunset-coloured world behind him completely fuzzy. Boots crunching on the ice as he moved toward you, rifle raised and pointed at the water; goggles pulled up to his forehead... 

Even as you shut your eyes again, just a second already too long, his expression was burned into your mind. Glaring at where Sans had been with a look you could only describe as... furious.

And possessive.

You heard him swear softly, anger dropping away- you heard him hastily put his rifle over his shoulder, rushing over to you and dropping heavily to his knees, saying your name like he was nervous you weren’t going to answer. You felt coarse gloves against your icy face, turning it up to him, warm breath on your painful face... you never thought you’d feel so much relief at the touch of somebody you’d never trusted before, but you let out a tiny shuddering exhausted sob and leant into him until your forehead touched his chest.

“hey. hey, it’s okay.” His voice was gentle, but still clearly panting- how far had he gone to look for you? “it’s okay, i gotcha.”

When he hoisted you into his solid arms, you just leant against him completely... tucking into the hold as much as you could. You were emotionally and physically spent and all you wanted to do was sink into his jacket and sleep.

"... c’mon, doll. let’s get you home.”

[fangurk]

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

[bitchassbucky]

.zip

Word Count: 2k

Warning/s: toxic/abusive relationship dynamics, gaslighting and manipulation, abduction, injuries were mentioned, stalking, dark!bucky x dark!reader, emotionally/mentally unstable!reader, dismemberment (not gore-y but still), three very special character mentions, shady corporate stuff, career sabotage?, food mention, sedation/drugging, f-words.

A/N: oh my god, this is the final chapter of CTRL. to all who read from the start, thank y'all so fucking much - from the bottom of my big-ass heart, thank you so much for coming along with this journey. this is my first FINISHED series, oh my god. to @babyboibucky (CTRL's number one fan), @sarge-barnes-sir, and @borikenlove thank you so much for indulging my inner degenerate GHJSDFG and for screaming (affectionately) at me when i first let y'all read the finished draft.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE END (just yet), i will be uploading TWO epilogues very soon: the explicit version and the not-so-explicit version. stay tuned!

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

epilogue:

.eps (explicit)

.eps (cut)

CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard

Your demeanor, character, even tone, changed.

Calculated, cold, unnerving.

But you sat there like a housewife in front of her husband, eating spaghetti and meatballs. Acting all dandy like there isn’t a man strapped onto the chair four feet away from you.

“C’mon, darling, eat! I made your favorite,” your eyes twinkled as Bucky helplessly tugged on his restraints, “oh, sorry, you’re tied up.”

Hm, sick in the head, bad for the heart.

“What do you want?” Oh, wow, even talking hurts for him. His throat is all dried up, he tasted something bitter under his tongue.

You chuckled, moving half a meatball around your mostly empty plate, “for you to stop treating me like I’m stupid.” You spear the meat with your fork, swirling it in the sauce, “I know you’ve been… checking in on me, Bucky.”

Oh, fuck.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was-- I mean, look at you--” He’s making it worse. You’re mad. You’re angry because he was being a good friend.

He only did that because you were lonely and he’s right: you are lonely.

So lonely that you’re willing to kidnap a grown man to keep you company, “I’m so sad for you.”

“You’re aware you’re the one’s been tied up, right?” You’re curt as you should be, scooting over near Bucky to feed him.

“I can’t eat that—” If he wasn’t sitting down and tied, Bucky would’ve vaulted over you and called the neighbors, she’s fucking crazy!

You giggled, rolling your eyes as if he had the freedom to make a choice right now, “if you’re thinking of screaming… More than half of my neighbors are felons or on parole, I doubt that they’ll call 911.”

Jutting forward the fork, you let the prongs gently touch Bucky’s lips, “now, eat! We have so much to talk about.”

“No. I don’t-- I’m not hungry.” He shakes his head, the fork hitting his chin and clanking down the floor.

“Just eat the fucking food, Steve!”

Bucky flinched at your sudden outburst. The words—the name—seeping in a moment later. Steve? Who the hell is Steve? Was he your husband? Boyfriend? His head throbbed again, his mouth filling with saliva like he’s about to throw up.

You kneel down, pulling a napkin from the table to wipe the meat and the sauce from the floor.

“This better not stain.”

—

He promised thrice.

Once over pasta and meatballs, once over dessert, and once when you were clearing the table.

You relented, of course. Half because you love him and half because it’s getting annoying.

“As long as you don’t leave me, okay?”

“Yes, I promise. I won’t leave you.”

Bucky’s still seating on the dinner chair, slightly slumped without the ropes holding him up, “look, I’m really sorry about the anesthetic, I went overboard with it.” You look over to him—at least he’s regaining his fingers and arms again.

“It’s okay, babe, I wouldn’t trust me either.” If he could stand up, he’d go over and hug you. Helping with the dishes, peppering you with sweet kisses.

A genuine laugh slips out of your lips, “ugh, still… I’m really sorry.”

The last of the plates were neatly stacked, cups and cutleries were placed gently on a drying rack. It was getting late, you could tell.

“I’m not mad, by the way.” You muse, prompting Bucky to lean forward, listening to you.

“What do you mean?” He takes your hand into his, ever so gently.

“You did that,” you squeeze his hand back, gazing into his soulful eyes, “because you love me.”

Did you know that some people could read microexpressions well? Bucky went through a whole lot of them before answering, “of course, I do.”

Contemplating whether you call him out on it or not, you hum, placing a gentle hand on his jaw, “it’s okay, you’ll learn how to love me.”

He has to. He has no other choice.

Bucky clears his throat, “have you seen my phone?” His tone was hopeful, upbeat, maybe he can reach out to someone, anyone, before you can do any more damage.

“Yeah, ‘s on the couch.”

He tried to move, he really did. Bucky’s fairly strong, he can bench an easy 140 on a good day. But even the beefiest motherfuckers have no match for Propofol.

“Don’t worry about your friends, they’re not worried about you, Buck.” The coolness of your tone sends Bucky into a panic—again. “D’you wanna check your messages though? There’s a lot of ‘em.”

Grabbing his phone, you asked Siri to read him his latest notifications.

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

From Joaquin: Where are you, man?

From John W.: Do you have copies?

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

Urgent: Gross Misconduct

From Joaquin: Bucky, what the fuck?

From Samuel Wilson: Pick up the phone, Barnes. You’re fired.

17 missed calls from an unknown number

From John W.: I knew you were a freak but holy shit, dude!

72 text messages from an unknown number

Bucky never really liked horror movies. It made him jumpy and anxious. Too paranoid, even. But now? Now he’s sure that people have never experienced sheer fright before.

His toes cramped inside his boots, his feet were cold, sweating. The little hairs on his legs stood up, goosebumps littering the entirety of his body. If he held his breath, he’s sure he could hear his heart hammering out of his chest. The blood rushes past his ears and onto the base of his skull—he’s gonna be sick.

“What,” he gulped back the saliva pooling in his mouth, “what did you do?”

You’re irritatingly calm, “well, I mean… We’re already together, what do you need those for, right?”

Putting a warm hand over his forehead, you cooed, “poor thing, you look sick.”

—

Bucky thinks it’s well past midnight when the anesthetic wore off.

His limbs were heavy, he had to lean on the wall every couple of steps to regain his balance. Helpless. He’s helpless and you both know it. As if it’s a bear trap, Bucky carefully took his phone from the coffee table.

Why would you leave it unattended?

The screen lights up as soon as he picked up, his lock screen littered with ‘fuck yous’, ‘sicko’, and his personal favorite, ‘motherfucker.’

Ignoring the glaring messages, he went straight for the emergency dialler and—you took out his SIM card, snapping it into two neat pieces, placing it beside the phone.

Bitch.

The golden surface of the card was scratched too, he can’t do anything, use it as a toothpick, maybe? His phone was just as good as a paperweight.

He looks out of the window, limping towards it. Even if he could climb over, it would take him forever to get onto the street. Your neighbors would probably think that he’s just on a bad trip.

“It’s bolted shut. Perks of living alone as a single female.” Your voice made him flinch back, like a kid whose hand was halfway down the cookie jar.

Bucky plays it off with a cough, he can’t be weak now, “no, babe, I was checking out a noise. You ready for bed?”

You smiled softly, taking his hand and draping his arm on your shoulders as you prop him against you, “almost, big guy. Gotta get you settled in bed first. Are you tired?”

Nodding, Bucky kisses your temple, “yeah.” He just needs to play with your sick little games until he regains his strength.

Where would he go? His reputation and his job are besmirched, his apartment is probably crawling with forensics too.

“You fell down and banged your head earlier. Nasty cut on your head too. I told you to not tire yourself much.”

You hit and drugged me but I digress, “Yes, darling. ‘M sorry.”

“You scared me, Buck. I thought you were dead.” Are these tears forming in your eyes?

“I’m not leaving you, not by any chance. I promise.”

He promises a fourth time.

—

Your bedroom was bigger than he thought. But of course, he only saw your desk and your bed through the webcam.

Save from the Ted Bundy-esque corkboard you have in front of your workspace, he feels weirdly at home. You tucked him in, reminding him to wake up every two hours for the painkillers.

“You’re not going to bed?” He muses from behind you, all cocooned in your blankets.

“Just need to take this phone call real quick, babe.” Your back was turned from him as you work on your company laptop. He noticed that the webcam is covered with white tape.

The sound of an incoming call filled the room before you quickly answer it, your voice turning hoarse and raspy as if you’ve been crying.

Hi, Mr. Wilson. I’m so sorry for the late call. Do I- do I need to come in tomorrow? I just... I don’t feel comfortable facing everyone—I used all my home hours this week and—

Miss L/N, I’m glad you reached out to me. Is it okay if I record this call for security purposes? It’s just for you, me, and the HR department.

You turned to Bucky, your face is stone-cold but your voice belonged to someone so utterly helpless.

No, you don’t have to call into work tomorrow… Or any other day.

A dainty gasp and a fucking sob comes out of your mouth, your eyes were telling a different story.

Am I fired?

God, no. Please, Miss L/N, don’t worry about that. We want you with us through this entire debacle. We want you to take some time off—paid. We’ll also grant you… a grievance package.

You could almost hear what he would say next.

As long as you don’t talk to any members of the press or any journalists until our friends in the PR department can clean this up.

A triumphant smile creeps on your bare features, putting a finger in front of your lips, you mimic a ‘shh’ gesture to Bucky.

You round up another mirthless sob as the CEO drones on about the bureaucracy of this whole thing.

He was really nice to me, you know? He took me out on dinners and lunches. He even brought me to his place and I– nothing happened but I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m really sorry, Miss L/N. I thought he was…

A good guy? I really thought so too.

Please stay offline for a bit, just for the weekend, alright? Someone from the HR department will be in touch with you for the process. We don’t wanna be a hassle more than what Barnes is. On our behalf, please accept our deepest apologies.

Jesus, this guy had the PR department cook up an apology letter.

Thank you—thank you so much, Mr. Wilson. I’ll keep in touch.

You burst out in laughter a second after the call ended. Hearty laughter, the one where you can feel your belly tightening.

“Did you hear how good I was, baby? Oh my god, we had them fooled.”

We? Fuck your ‘we.’

You slide over the covers, propping up yourself with your elbow as you turn to face Bucky, “don’t worry, you don’t need them anymore. You have me, yeah? We have each other.”

—

Out of the most bizarre things that happened to him last week, finding dismembered fingers in the fridge was the least of his concerns.

“Honey!” Bucky calls out, holding the ziplock bag with a pair of tongs.

You bound down the stairs, your laptop in hand as you squint, “what am I looking at?”

Bucky hesitated, maybe he’s going insane too, “fingers. Dismembered fingers—are these yours?”

Setting down the laptop onto the table, you peck him on the cheek, smiling as if him holding a baggie with human remains is just your Sunday normal, “god, I hope not. I need my hands to do things.”

As soon as you look back at him, you dropped the facade: “those are Steve’s. Well, used to be.”

Bucky’s afraid to ask the question where’s the rest of him?

“You know the term pinky promise, right? Well, it has a dark origin.”

Just as fast as a bustling train, Bucky rakes his brain for all the times he promised you something. Hoping that he won’t end up with a stump for a hand.

One vividly bright memory is seared into his brain though, the days blurred together with sharp edges and mismatched colors: we love how we were taught to love.

So, who taught you how to love like this?

[the-broken-truth]

Surprisingly, i really love your oc (Eliza Dimitrescu) Senior! Ahem- okay so, my question is could you do a headcanon for the dimitrescu daughters (including Eliza) reacting to their youngest sibling (the reader) die because of various ways such as illness or being killed and others?

I really want to see the bond of caring for their youngest sibling- and this idea has been stucked in my mind for a while, and That's why I drew Eliza's Death and Daniela visited her grave because she still cares about her little sister even though Eliza is already gone-

Oh i almost forgot, it's okay. It's not a canon. Maybe not yet- (hehe)

welp- thank you for ur time! remember, ur junior is always here to help and support u >:3

-Snowwy

Broken Truth: Anything for a friend, Snowwy. Now, let the words weave together!!

Warning - Very Dark, Involving Death [PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK]

- Bela Dimitrescu (Unaware) -

Bela was the Eldest of the Dimitrescu Daughters.

She was the most responsible one.

The one who was aware of anything going on with her sisters.

But in this case, she wasn't and it caused the House of Dimitrescu the loss of something precious - something that would not be returned.

And Bela was to blame.

She stood before the grand fireplace and looked upon the golden urn that sat upon the top of it.

Upon the surface of the glass was a golden plaque with the words: [Y/N] Dimitrescu - Gone But Never Forgotten.

Bela could feel the tears building up.

Her youngest sister was gone...and it was all her fault.

The 2 of them were in the library - Alcina had to attend a lord meeting, while Cassandra, Dani, and Eliza were in the village for some manner of business.

Leaving Bela with the youngest of the Dimitrescu Spawn - a little toddler named [Y/N].

She was young - small. Only 5 years old but could still get into trouble just like her sisters could.

She was mortal - too young for the Cadou Parasite; Mother Miranda wouldn't give it to her until she was at least 15 to make sure she would live through it.

Bela wanted to read something and gave the child a book to read, sitting her in a chair beside her with the stack of baby books with bright and colorful pictures, along with a doll that Eliza had made for the infant.

Bela sat in the chair next to her and the two of them began reading their books.

Hours had passed and it was silent - just as it would be if Bela was alone in the library and it was that silence that made her slip into her own little bubble.

That bubble made it impossible for her to noticed the child got out of her chair and began to walk around.

That bubble stopped Bela from looking up from her book to see her youngest sister climbing on a very unstable bookshelf.

But that bubble popped...when the bookshelf came crashing down...right on top of the girl's tiny book.

Bela's eyes widened as she threw her book away and ran over to the down bookshelf and pushed it off her sister but she could tell by the look on her face...

She was too late.

The toddler's neck was snapped clean half and the light in her eyes was fading fast.

Bela gathered the girl in her arms and tried to hold her head to make her breathe easier but it was no use - no air was coming from her lips...and her heart began to slow its pace...until it stopped completely.

She screamed.

The door burst open.

And the entire family came in.

Alcina shoved her eldest away and held her baby in her arms but seeing as there was no longer a heartbeat, she knew her baby was gone.

The mother cried out in agony as the daughters looked at their eldest sister and asked...

"What have you do?"

She couldn't give an answer.

There was a small service.

The Lords and Mother Miranda attended.

The body was burned and the ashes were placed in the urn and secured above the fireplace.

No one said a word to Bela who just stood there...with her little sister's doll clenched to her chest.

Never again did she enter the library.

Never again did she read a book.

Forever would remain aware - for the sake of her other sisters.

And in honor of the one she lost.

- Cassandra Dimitrescu (Reckless) -

Her mother always told her that she needed to make sure she closed the door to the cellar when she comes and goes from her experiments.

She always thought her mother was overreacting.

But it wasn't until she lost something precious.

Cassandra was bored and wanted to have some fun with the creatures in the cellar.

She took her key and went down there but she didn't notice that she didn't lock the door from the other side to keep anything from getting out.

She had her fun and played with her toys until she was bored again and went up the stairs to return to the castle, only noticing that the door was open and bloody footprints were leading out of the cellar.

Her eyes widened and her blood froze.

One of them got out...

Loud screaming made her jump in her robes - something was wrong! Someone was hurt!

She ran out of the room and slammed the door, making sure to lock it behind her before she followed the bloody footprints.

She began noticing that the footprints were more apart - showing that the creature was running.

No - it was hunting.

But what would it be able to hunt? Everyone in Castle Dimitrescu could take care of themselves.

Except...

Oh no...

Mother Miranda, no...

[Y/N]...

She ran after the footprints and rounded the corner when she saw something familiar on the ground - a bright yellow stuffed bunny.

Not just any bunny - that was [Y/N]'s Bunny, she's had it since she was a baby and she never left that bunny anywhere.

As she got closer - she noticed that the bunny wasn't so yellow anymore.

It was stained.

Stained red.

And the red stained recked of iron.

Blood

And it was still fresh.

Cassandra picked up the bunny and followed the bloodstains down the hall until she came to an open room - crying from the inside.

that was her mother crying.

She entered the room...and her heart sank...

In the room were her mother and sisters - her mother on her knees with her back as she held something in her arms.

On side of the room laid the missing creature that escaped from the basement - dead with his throat sliced open - and its mouth...fresh blood was dripping from its open jaws

Bela noticed Cassandra standing there with the bunny in her hand...and she marched over to her middle sister with fury in her eyes.

"What have you done?" Bela hissed.

"W...What?" Cassandra stuttered but that just made Bela even madder.

'"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!"

SMACK!

Cassandra's face hit the ground as her elder sister struck her - she opened her eyes and in her mother's lap...

She could see a small lifeless arm...dangling...

Her worse fears...were confirmed.

Her recklessness...killed her little sister.

- Daniela Dimitrescu (Accident) -

Dani loved danger.

It made her feel like more of a badass and she loved the feeling.

But it made her mother and her sisters uneasy and they constantly warned Dani that she if wasn't careful - there was gonna be an accident.

She didn't believe them.

She didn't listen.

But now...

She wished she did.

Daniela was in the weapons room - testing out a new bow that her Uncle gave her.

She was always told to lock the door to the room to make sure no one came in and was caught in her crosshairs.

But that day, she didn't lock the door - too excited to try her new weapon.

She gathered her arrows in their quiver and began firing them at random targets.

She loved the feeling of the bow in her hand.

She loved the sound of the arrows hitting the hearts of their targets.

She was so entrenched with the feeling that she didn't hear the door open.

When she turned to face the target at her 6, she saw a figure but it was covered in shadows - a new target.

She pointed the arrow at the shadows and released the arrow...

It went soaring...

And hit the heart of the shadow...

And the shadow...screamed in pain.

The rush began fading as the confusion rose and when everything began clear - she was horrified at what she saw.

The arrow did hit it target - the heart.

The heart of her youngest sister.

The girl was groaning in pain as the blood began leaking from the wound.

The girl opened her mouth to speak but it came short.

Dani threw the bow to the ground and rushed to her sister's side - gathering the girl in her arms, careful to miss the arrow in her chest and run out of the room to reach the doctor.

Her mother and sisters stood with her outside the doctor's office, waiting for the doctor to tell them she was able to save her sister.

"What were you thing?!" Eliza screamed at her, "Firing an arrow at an infant?!"

"It...It was an accident. I didn't hear her come in the room." Dani said.

"This is why you were told to lock your door! To make sure nothing like this would happen!" Bela screamed with tears in her eyes.

The doctor came out with her head down and Alcina asked the question.

"How is she?"

The doctor shook her head and said...

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Those were the words that shattered the Dimitrescu Family and all the time, all Dani could think was...

'It was an accident.'

- Eliza Dimitrescu (Killed) -

The day she became the youngest sister was the day that destroyed both her mind and her heart.

It was a normal day - she and her youngest sister was going shopping in the village for a new winter coat for her little one.

Everything was fine until they ran into her.

Eliza's Birth Mother.

She hissed at her.

Demanding money.

"I'm your mother, you have to do what I say!" Was her reason

But Eliza was a Dimitrescu and she owed her nothing and warned her never to approach her again.

But she didn't listen - it must have been a mental problem or maybe she was drunk...but that would cost them both deeply.

The stray woman lunged forward and grabbed the little girl by her wrist, yanking her away from Eliza and pulled her into her body before taking a few steps back.

Eliza was ready to tear out her throat but she saw the woman pull out a blade and hold it to the young girl's throat, making her shiver.

She told her she would give her money, she'd do whatever she asked but begged her to let the child go.

She was 5.

She was innocent.

She had nothing to do with this.

But the woman didn't see it that way...

She wanted to hurt Eliza for not doing what she said.

She wanted Eliza to hurt as much as she did when she lost her husband.

And most importantly...

She wanted to hurt Alcina Dimitrescu for saving Eliza and giving her a perfect life.

And she would do that.

She had to do that.

And she did...

By slicing the throat of the little girl.

Eliza screamed out as the blade went across her little sister's throat and her noble blood stained the ground and snow.

Eliza lunged with her claws and fangs out.

Tearing into the body of tainted flesh like a vengeful tigress.

Once she was done - she crawled over to the little girl's body and roared like a mournful dragon, causing her mother and sisters to come out.

No one blamed Eliza for not being able to save her.

No one thought it was her fault.

Eliza blamed herself.

Every time she went to the grave, she would tell her little sister's soul this...

"If I had killed her time the same day I killed her husband...you would still be with me."

[End]

Broken Truth: Thoughts, Snowwy? @snowflakestree

[tsarisfanfiction]

“Can I sleep with you in here tonight?” w/military bros

Restless

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Gen Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort Characters: Scott, Gordon

My muse has been determined to write something with Scott in bed for the last couple of days, and when I remembered this prompt was sitting in my inbox it all slid into place. Not my first time writing Gordon sneaking into Scott's bed, and I'm sure it won't be the last, either...

Needy/Vulnerable Dialogue Prompts

Scott supressed a groan as he instinctively tried to roll over, only for his leg to remind him why he couldn’t do that. The spike of pain that flashed along the immobilised limb had him throwing an arm over his eyes, blocking out the world.

It wasn’t the first time he’d broken a leg, and considering what he did for a living, it probably wasn’t going to be the last, either, but that didn’t make it any more bearable. The hoverchair lurked by the door – far enough away that he couldn’t get himself into it, leaving him stuck in bed – and he’d been gently deposited for the night by Virgil two hours earlier, completely unable to move around under his own steam.

The problem was that he couldn’t sleep. His leg was being a bother, he couldn’t get comfortable, and he couldn’t even escape the bed and hunt down a change of scenery. Starlight shone through the open curtains, left that way by Virgil so he could watch the sun set from the security of his bed, bathing his room in a pale silver. There was no moon tonight.

Restless, he tried to sit up, only for his leg to complain at that, too. It seemed particularly temperamental tonight, determined that no matter what he tried, there was no way to get comfortable. Scott was almost – almost – tempted by the painkillers that had been left on his bedside table for when the pain got too much.

It hadn’t got that bad. Not yet.

Flopping back down against his pillow, he huffed out a sigh. Scott was no stranger to sleepless nights, but he usually had some way of occupying himself. His brothers, in their infinite smothering wisdom, had removed any and all work-based electronics from his immediate reach, presumably in the hopes that he’d get some sleep.

Needless to say, it wasn’t working, and Scott would take even the GDF reports over the dull disgruntlement of his leg and the lack of external stimuli if it had been an available option.

He let out a frustrated – and slightly pained – huff and threw his arm back over his eye. Maybe if he stared into the darkness for long enough, he’d fall asleep regardless of what his leg had to say.

He didn’t. Instead, several minutes later, he heard his bedroom door open slowly and wondered which member of his family had decided to check up on him in the middle of the night. The footsteps that padded quietly across his floor belonged to bare feet, instantly disqualifying John, who had a preference for slippers. They were too light to belong to Virgil, but too heavy to be either of the females. Brains almost never ventured into their rooms, and certainly not at night, which narrowed it down to one of the terrible two.

From the even, measured pace rather than something off-kilter and hurried, Scott surmised that it had to be Gordon.

“What’s up?” he asked as his brother reached his bedside, not bothering to move his arm from where it was still slung over his face.

“Can I sleep with you in here tonight?” Gordon asked, voice appropriately quiet for the time of night. Scott let out an equally quiet sigh.

He wasn’t really in the mood for a wriggling brother in his personal space, especially when he couldn’t sleep anyway, but on the flip side of things, if he couldn’t sleep anyway, a wriggling brother wasn’t going to make much difference. Besides, it went against every big brother instinct he had to turn away a little sibling.

“Sure,” he allowed, an inevitable caving they’d both known he’d make. “But I’m not moving.”

Gordon let out a small huff of amusement. “I know,” he agreed, still keeping the volume down to an appropriate level. Scott’s comforter shifted, and a moment later the mattress sank as a new weight settled on it. The aquanaut was more than capable of being careful when he wanted, and Scott knew it wasn’t a coincidence that he’d chosen to settle on the side that didn’t have the broken leg.

Still, none of his brothers asked to share a bed without a reason nowadays, and if Scott couldn’t sleep he might as well be the big brother Gordon no doubt needed.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked. It had to be a nightmare of some sort – they were painfully frequent for all of them, and the guaranteed reason to get little brothers snuggling up to him for the night. True to form, Gordon pressed himself against the length of Scott’s side, and an arm snaked across his chest lightly.

“Nah,” his brother yawned, wriggling just a little before apparently finding his comfortable spot. “I’m fine.”

Scott knew better than to push, but he still wrapped his arm around his brother’s shoulders lightly in return. Gordon hummed lightly.

“Go to sleep, Scott,” he murmured, cheek pressing against Scott’s shoulder. “You’re okay.” The arm across his chest squeezed for a moment. “You’re safe.”

It almost sounded like Gordon was trying to convince himself, rather than Scott. Then again, it had been Gordon who had found him trapped in the cave-in and screamed for Virgil and his exosuit to come and move the rock off of Scott’s leg. With the area so unstable, and other rocks periodically falling while they waited, in one instance only narrowly missing Scott’s helmet, it had been a hair-raising experience – for both of them, if Scott was completely honest.

The words themselves were accompanied by another yawn, sure-fire evidence that the blond was rapidly falling back towards sleep himself, and a small fond smile crept, unbidden, onto Scott’s face.

“I’m safe,” he agreed. “You get some sleep, Gords. I’ll still be here when you wake up.” It wasn’t like he had much of a choice in the matter, still too soon into the healing process to even be permitted crutches and completely reliant on his brothers helping him from bed to hoverchair, but even if that wasn’t the case he knew what his brothers needed. Gordon needed to be sure he was safe, and that Scott could provide.

It was barely any time at all before Gordon’s breathing even out in sleep, breath tickling Scott’s throat the same way it always did when Gordon came crawling to him after a nightmare. The familiarity was almost a comfort to Scott, and he closed his eyes, listening to the steady inhale-exhale and feeling the reassuring warmth of another body pressed against his side. He would never admit how much comfort he, too, gleaned from having a brother or few in his bed after a rough day, but it was undeniable in the safety of his own mind.

In fact, despite his earlier thoughts about a sleepless night, and a leg that had refused to settle comfortably earlier, it was only minutes before Gordon’s breathing coaxed him down into his own slumber, leg suddenly, inexplicably, content.

[milo-my-beloved]

chapter nine of stupid things!

Read on AO3 // Playlist // Buy me a coffee?

Group Chat: Double Daters

Jesper: guess where we’re going on friday

Inej: where?

Jesper: no u have to guess

Wylan: I know!! :D

Jesper: if u spoil it, i’m breaking up with u

Wylan: aw :(

Kaz: does this have anything to do with the email I just received?

Jesper: depends what ur email is about

Kaz: a ticket for a festival this friday

Jesper: ...yeah that’ll be it

Inej: why are we going to a festival?

Wylan: it’s our last friday together! I move on sunday :(

Kaz: do we have a choice in the matter?

Jesper: no

Kaz: then see you on friday, I guess

Jesper: hey Kaz you’re driving, right?

Inej laughs, sliding her phone back into her apron. It looks like there’ll be one last outing after all. She doesn’t know what she’ll do when she doesn’t have all these idiots to laugh at on her weekends, but she has an extra week to figure that out.

Nikolai wiggles his eyebrows. “Going on a hot date?”

“Shut up,” Inej whines, shoving him playfully. “We’re all going to a festival, actually.”

“Well, good luck,” he replies with a smirk. “I’m sure you’ll need it.”

{o0o}

The festival, as it turns out, is little more than a gathering of drunk people in a field decked out with a collection of speakers. Inej can’t say she’s particularly impressed, but she’s here now, so there’s no point in complaining.

“This is shit,” Kaz declares, his nose wrinkled in distaste as he surveys the crowd.

Inej smiles. “This barely classifies as a festival.”

“It’s closer to a houseparty that spilled out into the garden,” Kaz jokes, and Inej laughs.

He’s not wrong, though. Actually, it reminds her of the party where they first met.

“We need to stop being the only sober people at parties,” Inej announces, turning towards the bar. “Will you let me buy you a drink this time? I actually brought my wallet this time.”

Kaz grins, but shakes his head. “I’m the designated driver, remember? Besides,” he continues, pointing out Jesper and Wylan in the crowd. “I think one of us needs to stay sober to look after those two.”

Inej groans. “We need to stop going to parties just because Jesper asked us to.”

Kaz shrugs. “I don’t know… If we hadn’t gone to the last one, we never would have met.”

“I also wouldn’t have had to run away from a load of bouncers in my pajamas,” Inej replies, but she knows Kaz is right. “Jesper might not have been lying about the live music, though. Shall we see if we can find it?”

Kaz gives Inej one of his mischievous grins, offering her his arm, which she latches onto. “Sounds like fun,” he answers, and they head towards the crowd.

{o0o}

Jesper doesn’t remember the first time he met Wylan. He asked Kaz about it, later, but the man had just glared at him and told him that he would never pick him up from a houseparty again.

At the rate they are going, he isn’t going to remember tonight, either.

“WYLAN!” he yells over the music, slinging an arm around his boyfriend’s neck. They’ve been there for an hour or so, and thanks to the open bar, they’re both already quite tipsy. “HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?”

Wylan rolls his eyes, but Jesper’s rewarded by a huge, dopey grin. “You should do it more often,” he suggests, laughing at Jesper’s fake offense.

“WELL, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.”

Wylan laughs. “I love you too, idiot!”

Jesper suddenly goes very still, like he has just remembered something. He frowns, pulling his arm back and patting his back pocket but coming up empty.

“Have you lost your phone again?” Wylan asks, concerned.

Jesper shakes his head. “NO, IT’S FINE. LET’S GO FIND KAZ AND INEJ.”

Wylan doesn’t look particularly convinced, but he nods anyway. “I saw them head towards the stage,” he says, taking Jesper’s hand in his and squeezing it.

The stage is near the bar, anyway. So far, he’s not quite drunk enough to forget that school’s over, and with it, everyone will be going their separate ways. In just a week’s time, he’ll be back in the Van Eck mansion with his father, and he might never see his friends again.

Jesper squeezes his hand back, giving Wylan his most charming smile.

If this is our last hurrah, Wylan thinks, then I had better make the most of it.

{o0o}

There is, in fact, a stage. It’s tucked away in a corner of the field behind a few tall poplars and an alarmingly large bonfire, so Inej thinks it’s totally reasonable that it took them half an hour to find it.

If anyone brings up that it’s right next to the bar… well. She doesn’t really have a good excuse for that one.

Even though it feels impossible, Inej is sure it is getting more and more crowded with every minute that passes. She lost sight of Jesper and Wylan a while ago, and the ice has melted in her glass of lemonade, leaving it lukewarm and slightly sticky.

Kaz looks like he might throw up and she doesn’t blame him, so she grabs his hand and tugs him around the bonfire, climbing up onto a boulder and pulling him up after her. Away from the crowds, everything seems much more manageable.

“Thank you,” Kaz mutters. Inej squeezes his arm in response, taking a sip of her drink.

“Let’s hope no drunk people try to climb up after us,” she jokes, and Kaz smirks.

“I don’t know,” he replies, wrapping an arm around her back to stop her from tipping backwards. “I think it would be funny to watch.”

“Kaz!” Inej chastises, slapping his arm playfully. “It would definitely not be funny. They could get hurt.”

“HEY GUYS!” Jesper yells from right behind them, startling Inej enough for her drink to slosh all over her legs.

She locks eyes with Kaz, both of them desperately trying to stifle their grin, but they burst out laughing anyway.

Jesper doesn’t seem to notice. “CAN I HAVE MY VERY SPECIAL PRESENT, PLEASE?” he yells at Kaz, wobbling precariously as he reaches out a hand so Kaz can pass it over.

Kaz looks him up and down, sizing up whether or not it’s a good idea. Eventually, he sighs, reaching into the inside of his jacket so he can pass it over to Jesper.

“THANKS!” Jesper shouts, smiling widely, before jumping back down and dashing into the crowd, presumably to find Wylan.

They both watch him go, Inej dabbing absentmindedly at the spilt lemonade on her lap. These pants are old, so she doesn’t particularly mind them getting wet.

“What’s his ‘very special present’?” she asks, fishing in her bag for a tissue. She comes up with an old Subway napkin and stares at it for a second, before mentally shrugging and trying to make it look like she hasn’t wet herself.

“Unless he manages to completely fuck it up, I think you’ll know soon,” Kaz answers cryptically, but he has a fond smile on his face, so Inej doesn’t worry about it. She trusts Kaz to tell her everything she needs to know in his own time, and she isn’t going to push when she has bigger problems.

“I’m going to see if the bar has any more napkins,” she declares, twisting around so she can slide off the boulder. “Want anything to drink?”

“A glass of water would be nice,” Kaz replies, smiling down at her.

“A glass of napkins and a wad of tissues,” she confirms, nodding as she drops down onto the crowd. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Don’t get lost,” Kaz jokes, leaning back into the extra space.

Inej just laughs, the noise disappearing into the night as she is swept into the crowd.

{o0o}

Jesper has the best plan in the entire world, and he’s absolutely sure the sober version of him would approve of it. That’s what his dad used to tell him - if you think you’re about to make a bad decision while drunk, figure out what sober you would think.

If he’s being honest, Jesper doesn’t think the sober version of him would be this calm about the plan. Sober Jesper would probably have put more than ten minutes of thought and more than three steps into the plan.

Luckily for him, Sober Jesper isn’t here.

Besides, it’s not like he has a history of making terrible decisions while drunk. Okay, sure, there have certainly been some… unfortunate accidents, shall we say, but nothing irredeemable. And, if you’re considering the bad things, you have to look at the good ones too; Kaz and Inej may never have met without him drunk dialing both of them, and look how happy they are!

(Well, happy is a relative term with Kaz. Jesper has seen him smile more than once a month, which - for Kaz - is an absolute win.)

Jesper’s favourite drunk decision is somewhere in the crowd, probably getting them both another drink. He feels bad about leaving Wylan on his own, but the first two steps of the plan require total secrecy, and it’s only for a few minutes. He’s sure Wylan can manage for that long.

With step one (Retrieve The Goods) complete, it’s time for step two of Jesper’s master plan.

He heads towards the stage.

{o0o}

There are no napkins at the bar. Inej doesn’t really know what she was expecting, considering the biggest infrastructure at this entire ‘festival’ is a few people stood on a unstable platform with some speakers next to it, but she’s still a little disappointed.

A little bit of looking around confirms that there aren’t even any toilets for her to grab some loo roll from, so she’s stuck with her one soggy napkin, Kaz’s glass of water, and not a lot else.

“‘Nej?” someone asks from behind her, and she swirls around to find Wylan looking a little dazed.

“Wylan?” she asks, concerned. “Are you okay? Where’s Jesper?”

Wylan shrugs, his entire body wobbling with the effort of staying up straight. “He said he had to go do something and that he’d be back in a minute, but now I can’t find him.”

Inej mentally curses him. “Did he tell you where he was going?”

Wylan pouts, considering her question. “The stage, maybe?”

“Okay,” Inej says, looping her arm through his so they don’t get separated. “Let me deliver this to Kaz, then we’ll all go find him together, okay?”

Wylan nods, looking pretty put out. Inej isn’t sure what he’s been drinking, but if the blue stains on his shirt are anything to go by, it’s a weird mix of something probably designed to get you drunk fast.

The bar is fairly close to the boulder where they were sitting, so it only takes a few moments to get there. Inej lets go of Wylan’s hand, making him promise to wait where he is for a minute, before clambering up the rock one handed so she can pass the glass of water to Kaz.

Only, when she reaches the top of the boulder, Kaz isn’t there.

“For fuck’s sake,” Inej mutters, looking around to see if she can spot him, but finding nothing. She carefully balances his glass of water on top for if he returns before dropping back to the ground beside Wylan.

“Kaz isn’t coming?” Wylan asks, sounding unreasonably upset by the news.

“He’s not there,” Inej explains, grabbing Wylan’s sticky hand so he doesn’t wander off.

“Oh. Can we find Jes now?”

“Sure,” Inej says gently, pushing her way through the crowd so they can head towards the stage. “‘Don’t get lost’, you said,” she mutters as they go. “What a load of horseshit.”

{o0o}

When Kaz spots Jesper clambering onto the stage, he slides off the boulder and heads towards the stage in record time. Sure, he had agreed to help when Jesper had told him about his plans, but he never thought he’d go through with them drunk.

Only a special kind of idiot does that, and Kaz had been stupid to think Jesper didn’t qualify.

A few elbow jabs and well-placed ankle whacks later, Kaz makes it to the stage. Jesper is up there, whispering something to the guy on the drums, who starts to smile and nods enthusiastically.

Kaz climbs onto the platform, grabbing Jesper’s arm and yanking him back down. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Jesper blinks at him slowly, like he’s trying to comprehend Kaz’s question. “STEP TWO!” he exclaims, grinning.

Kaz briefly considers kicking Jesper in the privates, but refrains, satisfied with just the mental picture. “What?”

“Kaz!” a woman’s voice yells from the crowd, and he turns around to see Inej leading a very drunk Wylan behind her. “Where’d you go?”

Before he can get out a response, the song finishes and the lead singer steps up to the microphone, tapping it a few times to get everyone’s attention.

“Hey everyone! Thank y’all so much for coming out here to show your support, it means a lot to us! Now, before we go onto the next song, we have a very special announcement to make…”

The crowd lets out a collective ‘ooh’, everyone’s eyes on the stage.

“Is there a Wylan in the audience with us today? Come on up here, we want to meet you!”

Kaz watches as Wylan hesitates at Inej’s elbow, hovering for a moment before making his way up to the stage. He’s too drunk to climb up by himself, but the singer just seems to find his clumsiness endearing, and gives him a hand to help him up.

Inej comes around the side of the stage to stand with Kaz. “What’s going on?”

Kaz shrugs. “I would like to officially state that I didn’t know Jesper was going to do it this dramatically.”

“Okay everyone, here’s Wylan! Now, Wylan, your lovely boyfriend over here - Jesper, he’s called - he wants to ask you a question up on stage, if that’s alright.”

A heavy silence hangs over everyone in the crowd as Jesper steps up to the microphone, seeming more sober than he has all night. He swallows nervously, fidgeting with something behind his back.

“Wylan… I know we haven’t known each other very long,” he begins, his voice unsteady. “But I love you much very and I think you are really cute.”

Wylan blushes, apparently not noticing the fact that Jesper is barely speaking English.

“I just wanted to tell you that you’re the best, and…” Jesper pauses for dramatic effect, waiting a few seconds before dropping to one knee and holding a ring out in front of him. “D’ya want to be the best with me forever?”

Wylan is far beyond words - Kaz is pretty sure he’s crying - but he launches himself at Jesper and they both topple to the ground in a laughing, crying heap.

“Is that a yes?” the singer says, stepping up to the mic. “I think it is! Congratulations, guys!”

The crowd explodes into cheers, everyone now personally invested in Jesper and Wylan’s relationship. The two of them still haven’t managed to successfully pick themselves up off the floor, their arms wrapped around each other as they kiss.

“We’re taking them home,” Inej decides, grinning widely, and Kaz isn’t about to complain. They’re both absolutely pissed, and he isn’t about to spend hours scouring a field tomorrow when they inevitably lose the ring. “And then we’re gonna cuddle on their couch and watch a movie.”

“The deal is the deal,” Kaz says, both of them grinning as they remember the night they met. “Let’s get these two idiots home.”

{o0o}

Jesper wakes up many hours later to a bursting bladder and his head feeling like it is about to explode. He sits up, gently disentangling a drooling Wylan from his side, when he spots the ring on his boyfriend’s hand and he stills.

“What. The. Fuck,” he whispers to himself.

Instinct has him reaching to his forehead, and sure enough, Kaz has been kind enough to leave a note taped to him. On it is printed a single word: Congratulations.

Jesper smiles. Maybe proposing while drunk was a stupid thing to do, but his life is made up of a million stupid things, and he wouldn’t trade a single one of them for the world.

[ridiasfangirlings]

[1/2] In a world w/o powers, sarumi still gets separated when they joined Homra. One terrible day, they all get trapped inside a collapsed tunnel and Fushimi wanted to be with Yata but saying the wrong things resulted in an argument and Yata leaves to find the rest of Homra. Fushimi soon gets badly injured when the earthquake happens again and he's sad that he's gonna die alone since Yata chose his friends over him but thought it was his fault anyways. He gets reincarnated and regain his memory

Okay but what if the original timeline was no powers AU but then the reincarnation was them in the proper K timeline :3c Like say initial timeline, Yata and Fushimi are friends who meet in middle school, Fushimi's parents still suck (because it always sucks to be Fushimi) but Yata manages to get past his walls and become important to him. The two of them end up running away together to get Fushimi away from his family, living in a run down apartment in a bad part of town and always having to worry about getting caught up with like drug dealers and gangs and such. At one point they end up like stuck in the middle of two gangs fighting and get briefly separated, Yata thinks Fushimi's going to get killed and runs around looking for help which is when he runs into Mikoto. Yata doesn’t know that Mikoto's the head of the scariest gang in the area but asks for his help anyway and Mikoto saves Fushimi, afterward Yata and Fushimi ask to join Mikoto's gang. Fushimi initially thinks things will be okay but of course he quickly starts to feel like he doesn't belong and meanwhile Yata's fitting right in and finding a bunch of new friends and Fushimi feels like he's being left behind.

One day when Homra's like hunting down some drug dealers in these abandoned tunnels beneath the city there's an accident and a bunch of the tunnels start to collapse while they're inside. Everyone gets separated and Fushimi and Yata end up together, one of Fushimi's legs gets trapped by this huge chunk of rock and Yata can't move it. Yata's freaking out a little that Fushimi's going to die and he wants to go find help, except in his panic maybe he doesn't word it exactly that way and keeps talking about how he “needs to find Mikoto-san” instead. Fushimi's a little delirious and it loosens his tongue more than intended, coldly talking about how of course all Misaki cares about is his precious Homra and how Fushimi always knew Homra was more important to Yata even than his own life.

Yata gets angry that Fushimi's misunderstanding and Fushimi just spits out a laugh, saying he would rather die by himself than have Yata pathetically calling Mikoto's name beside him. Yata tells Fushimi to shut up and says he's going to find the rest of Homra, leaving Fushimi behind. Fushimi thinks that Yata's chosen Mikoto in the end after all, they're in trouble like this and all Yata thinks of is Mikoto. As he's lying there laughing at his own stupidity for clinging to Misaki so tightly the tunnels start to collapse some more, Fushimi can't get himself free and he just leans back and closes his eyes (and somehow, even though he's trying to tell himself that he hates Misaki, there's this odd feeling of relief that at least Misaki did leave after all so he didn't have to die too).

So then the two of them are reborn into the K universe, imagine they become friends like in canon but then at some point during the time they're in Homra together Fushimi regains his memories. He immediately feels all this disgust for how he let himself get close to Misaki again, he should have just been alone from the start so he wouldn't have any expectations. Fushimi decides he needs to leave Homra and it's during the whole betrayal that Yata remembers, like seeing Fushimi burn himself jogs Yata's memory of when the two of them were together in the tunnels. He tries to talk to Fushimi about it but Fushimi won't listen, acting like he doesn't remember and that he doesn't have any interest in being Yata's friend ever again. Yata has all this guilt though knowing that Fushimi died alone and that there was nothing he could do, like he feels as if he failed Fushimi and does he even have the right to ask Fushimi to come back to him.

But then the jungle mission happens and for Yata it's like history repeating itself, Fushimi trapped underground and he knows the plan to defeat Hisui will cause the entire place to come down and there's a good chance that Fushimi will once again die all alone underground thinking Yata doesn't care about him. As soon as the airship crashes down Yata goes immediately after Fushimi to save him, things happen like in canon but say after they defeat Sukuna the hideout is really unstable and looks like it could cave in at any time. Fushimi tells Yata to leave him and Yata refuses, carrying Fushimi on his back and just dragging him bodily. Fushimi gets agitated, telling Yata that he's an idiot and he's going to die for the sake of someone who hates him. Yata looks back and gives Fushimi this shaky smile as he says it's okay if Fushimi hates him, Yata isn't going to leave him alone this time. That 'this time' shocks Fushimi as he realizes for the first time that Yata still has his memories of his past life. Yata tells Fushimi that he couldn't find Mikoto or any of the others at that time, he was too weak to get Fushimi any help and by the time he went back to Fushimi's side it was too late, if only he'd stayed at least they could have died together. This time he's determined not to make the same mistakes, if he dies in these tunnels that's fine but no matter what he won't ever let Fushimi die alone again – either they make it out together or they stay here together, no matter the outcome Yata isn't going to leave Fushimi's side, not this time or ever again.

[the-magnificent-otaku-draws]

On Our Own - The Hey Ho Whoa Car

Summary: Grace decides to finally come clean and let go

A/N: Might make a whole ask blog/AU out of this. What do you think?

Chapter: 1/?

Word Count: 2.8k

Warning: Slight gore (Accidental scratches/cuts via rocks)

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That scream

She had only heard it once yet it was enough to make her blood run cold. 

   The girl quickly turned,eyes growing wide. All that time she spent trying to hide the truth,all the lies she had let slip to her dear friend,all the questions that bubbled in her mind the longer she spent protecting her,it was all for nothing. 

     On the rocky floor was a six year old girl,a shell on her back and beak on her face. Tears fell down her scaly cheeks,soft whimpers escaping her as she looked to the one person who had known all along with a fearful gaze. 

     Grace caught a glance of her friend,his jaw close to dropping to the floor. He quickly turned to her,his expression begging for some sort of answer. She could only guess what he was thinking,a rare panic written on every feature of his face. 

"I...I can't believe it"

    That was what she instinctively thought of the second she met his eyes. Lie again,just as she had been doing this whole trip. She could keep up the charade a bit longer,right?

....

No

Neither of them deserved that. They never did. 

    She let out a deep breath before walking to the child and crouching down to meet her terrified gaze. "Hey, Hazel, its okay"

 "I-I'm sorry" Hazel sobbed,chest heaving with each shaky breath. "I-I didn't m-mean to"

"It's okay Hazel" Grace repeated for her sake. "Don't worry about it"

"But I promised to control it" She forced herself to say through sniffles. 

"You couldn't help it," The woman said softly. "Its my fault for making you hold it for so long"

"Are...Are you mad at me?" Hazel asked,each possibly answer concocted by her mind scarier than the last. 

"No,I'm not"

"You…You aren’t leaving me,are you?"

"Of course not" She opened her arms,a kind smile on her face. "You're still Hazel and that’s all that matters"

     Tears turned to waterfalls,the girl throwing herself into the other's embrace. Grace held her close,a hand running through her messy blonde hair. The only remnant of her past form,still just as tangled and fluffy as before. A finger landed on the hard shell that rest on her back,smile falling.

"We just won't tell Simon”

   Why did she ever think she could get away with this? It was only a matter of time before everything fell apart. Still,the possibility of what could have been was enough to keep her lips shut. The image of the baby faced girl hanging off the train's edge,fingers slipping off one by one until she vanished into the darkness below the bridge and into the deadly wheels...it was far more horrifying than any death she could have imagined for herself. 

"Grace,what is this?"

   She cringed at the familiar mix of confusion and anger. Hearing his tone she would normally play into their once shared fantasy,but this time was different. She couldn't afford to fall back now just for his sake.

   She looked back to the boy,voice stern. "Simon,we...I've been hiding something"

"Obviously!" He motioned towards the child,a sneer on his face. "What the Hell is this?!"

   The eldest woman grew wide eyed at the realization. “Of course,the turtles!”  She ran a hand through her hair,memories flooding back to her like a broken dam. "It was just a stupid hankerchief"

    She turned her attention back towards the child,Hazel quick to bury her face in Grace’s chest. Her eyebrows furrowed before she got to her knees to examine closer. In every other car her attempts led to nothing but failure,a turtle that could hold a conversation while on a long stroll at the most. It was no easy feat but it was all child's play compared to this,an almost entirely human being. “I’ve gotten closer than I could ever imagine”

“What are you talking about?!” Simon asked yet again,frustration dripping through his words. 

“The child,she’s not a passenger. She's one of my failed attempts at making Alrick" Amelia explained,surprised by her own words. “She’s the anomaly I’ve been tracking”

“So...Hazel is a clone of your dead boyfriend?” In all her eighteen years Grace had seen many strange things but this...this was something even she couldn't imagine.

“No,not a clone” The woman clarified,arms crossed. “Something...Something else…”

"I'm Hazel!" The child cried through a cracked voice.

"Debatable" She thought for a moment,mind buzzing with a million thoughts and questions. There had to be some reason this little experiment took such a wildly different detour,so close to a want she had attempted to smother long ago. This time it wouldn't be for her own self interest,this time it would be for science or whatever justification she could come up with that didn't send her back to step one. 

"I’ll take things from here on" She finally decided. "The girl will need to be quarantined before the pulse returns"

     She reached out to grab a frail arm,Grace immediately turning to shield the trembling child. "I don't know why you think Hazel will make your boyfriend come back but I’m not letting you take her"

"I don't have time to argue with you" Amelia reached once more,the other jumping to her feet with Hazel in her arms. 

"You are not taking her with you"

"If the pulse passes through any car with her inside it will be ejected" The woman said,agitated by her defiance. “If you take her every car you go through will have to be dismantled from the ground up!”

"I'm not letting you take her," Grace repeated, stepping back. “Make new cars or just-just ignore her like you did before!”

“I wasn’t ignoring her” Amelia snapped “ I didn’t even know she existed”

“Then keep ignoring her!” The girl yelled out,her hold on the child tight. “You’ve done it for six years and you only want her now when you think she’s useful?”

“I don’t need her for anything! She is a danger to this train and everyone on it!” Amelia shouted,hands curled into fists. 

    The feeling of tears on her shirt returned,Grace looking back down to Hazel. “Don’t listen to her Hazel”

"Grace,let her go"

The girl looked to Simon,eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

“Just leave her with the old woman,we’ll go around the outside and get home” He said,as if they weren't in the middle of a heated spat. 

Her shoulders slumped,heart dropping to her stomach. “Simon…”

"It’s just a null," He said bluntly. "Why do you care about it so much?”

“Because…” What answer could she come up with to satisfy him? Nothing she could think of made sense,even to her.

   A sudden realization hit,the boy pointing to Hazel. “That's why your number's going down "

   She raised an eyebrow at the idea. "What are you talking about?"

"Think about it,your number has been going down ever since we met it" His tone grew more bitter with each word. "You've been changing ever since this whole mess started!"

"You know what..." She hesitated for a moment,mind clearing once she heard a soft whimper from her side. "Maybe I should change"

He tensed,anger morphing to confusion. "W...What?"

"Simon,she's still a kid," Grace said firmly. "She's just like any of the Apex. You would never wheel one of our kids because they did something you didn't like"

"She isn't one of our kids!" Simon shouted. "She's just some mistake made by the train,we don't need her and she doesn't need us!"

"We said she was part of the Apex,just like any of the other kids we rescued" She could still remember the excited smile that graced her face when the red,now meaningless, squiggle was drawn across the bridge of her nose. She had done it a thousand times before with pride yet now the memory left a sour taste in her mouth. 

"That was before I found out she was like this!"

"So you lied to her"

       The boy froze,breathing coming to a halt. No...N-No,he wasn't a liar. He told Hazel - no - the null, everything when they first met. She was going to be part of the Apex as long as she was brave and the human Hazel was brave in her own way. That was the one reason he kept pushing and pushing for them to hurry up this seemingly never ending journey,to get them all to the Apex. But they wheeled nulls and Hazel was a null but he promised she would join their little group. No,no,none of this made any sense. His mind kept running in endless circles,looking for something that proved her wrong. He would take something, ANYTHING, just please don't make everything he lived through in all his ten years on this stupid train mean nothing. 

   An annoyed sigh finally broke the silence. "I'm tired of this,I'm taking the child and that is final"

"I...I'm not going with you"

    Amelia looked to Hazel with disdain. "Don't be difficult,this is for the good of the passengers"

"I'm not going with you!" Hazel cried,tears now frustrated as she clung to Grace. 

"Simon,do something!" The girl begged,the other trying to catch his breath. Imagined claws tore at his lungs and through his insides,mind clouded with so many questions he was too terrified to answer. 

"You have until I count to three" 

   Grace looked to Amelia,her expression enough to send a shiver down her spine. 

"One..."

    Hazel attempted to calm herself,breathing harshly into Grace's shoulder. Relax,Grace would protect her,she promised and she wouldn't break her promises anymore...right?

"Two..."

    Grace's eyes darted back to Simon,the boy's stance unstable as his fingers dug into his arms. The straps of his grappling pack hung off his shoulders, only his elbows keeping them from hitting the ground. Did she truly have to do this? After so long and so many past promises...

"Three"

   She bit her lip,eyes shut tight as she dashed towards the woman. She ducked under her arm,hair barely missing the grip of her callused hands. A field of green pushed her forwards,the girl bouncing off and onto a heavy weight as they both skid across the ground. 

    The thump of his bag echoed through the car, Simon taking the full force as the cloth of his hoodie ripped at the shoulder. 

    Heavy pants escaped her,a tight grip on her sleeve keeping her conscious. "Y...You okay?"

     Hazel nodded,catching a glimpse of the bag. She attempted to stand,a rough hand grabbing her arm as she let out a shriek. 

"Simon!" Grace grabbed his own arm,free hand attempting to pry his fingers off the other's wrist. 

"Just let her go!" He demanded between grunts. 

"You don't have to do this!" She shouted over him. "I-I'll tell you everything!"

"LIAR!"

   A sharp beak clamped around his wrist,the boy letting out a scream. With contempt he reached for her face,Grace quick to knee his stomach. All air was knocked from his lungs,the boy folding over to clutch the soon to be torso sized bruise.  

     The girl scrambled to her feet,grabbing Hazel before making a mad dash to the bag. Its straps were hastily thrown over her shoulder,hands fumbling to find a good grasp on the dirtied rod. 

"GET BACK HERE!"

     Shit,no time to overcomplicate something like this. She looked over to Hazel,grip on her near deathly. "Hang on tight"

      With no thought she took her finger off the small button,watching nervously as the hook flew towards the other side of the cavern. 

      The elder grew closer by the second,Grace giving her one last fearful glance before running off of the cliff's edge and into the pit below.

      The first thing she felt was the wind in her face,body pushing past the whooping stones that fell from the car's roof. The occasional rock scratched her skin,the girl only able to wince as each edge dug deeper and deeper into her arms. Yet the entire time she heard the screams of the two she had left behind,one of anger and another close to a sob. No,forget Simon,he made his choice. Still,that cry...she had only heard it once before yet it still managed to drown her in guilt. 

"Grace!"

      A panicked voice yanked her from her thoughts,a gasp escaping her as she roughly landed onto the cavern's side. Knees aching she climbed up the hook's rope,finally collapsing onto the ground. 

"Grace...are you...?"

"I...I'm okay" She said through tired pants. She looked back to the girl,fighting back the urge to give into the fatigue that wracked her body. "W...What about you?"

"I'm okay," Hazel answered. 

"Good..."

"Um..." She pulled her knees to her chest,looking away in shame. "I'm sorry I bit Simon"

Grace let out a soft chuckle. "I can't believe you actually did that"

"I'm sorry..."

"It's fine Hazel" She reassured her. "You were pretty brave"

"But Tuba said we don't bite"

     Grace froze,slowly turning her attention back to her hand. Her gaze trailed from her palm,down her number ridden knuckles and dressing her arm until it finally stopped at her elbow. Two numbers had disappeared. It wasn't much yet looking at it,she couldn't help the melancholy that creeped upon her back. "You're right...but...this is an exception"

     Hazel reluctantly looked up,the other two barely visible from a distance. All she could see were their blurring silhouettes,one pacing as obscenities were spit from her mouth while another lay limp by the edge. "Is he dead?"

"No..." The Simon she knew could and had taken much worse.

"So...what now?"

     The girl thought for a moment,trying to process all that had happened in just a few short seconds. It seemed almost like a dream,the only thing disproving that being the still bleeding wounds on her limbs. Not enough to kill her but enough to leave behind a slight sting. "I don't know"

    Hazel looked to her own hand,number barely visible under her green scales. She couldn’t help the growing guilt that clung to her back. Did Tuba know? If so,why didn’t she tell her? If not...if they were somehow ever meet again,would Tuba still want her? 

     The sound of a far off clunk caught her attention,prying her away from her old thoughts and to the two on the other side. Her eyes grew wide,immediately jumping to shake the other awake. "Grace! Wake up!"

She let out a sigh,sitting up on her elbows. "What is it?"

       The noise grew louder before she could answer,Grace turning to find its source. Her pulse quickened,fatigue quickly turning to horror. 

       A few feet away were the two,Amelia and Simon,some sort of contraption now being used as a makeshift bridge. 

"No..." She sat up,body shaking violently. "No,no,no,no,no!"

     A small hand grasped at her arm,struggling to pull her up. Grace took hold of the other's hand,coming to her feet. Or at least attempting to. An agonizing pain rocked through her body,each wound feeling as if it was being split open. She let out a pained hiss,falling back onto the red wood. 

    Heavy pants escaped her,the girl struggling to look up. Though blurry vision she could see the child having pulled away. Hazel took a defensive stance,rocks in her arms as she aimed for the two. With frustrated grunts she threw them as far as her tiny body could,each hit barely making a dent. 

"H-Hazel,stop"

"They're gonna get us!" She reached into her pile,hoping that at least one rock could leave a dent or buy the other some time to heal.

     A dizzy gaze drifted past the door frame and into the small space between them and the next car over. From the crack she could see the rail rumble,a strip of white light inching across the other car's roof. It looked like...

'A pulse'

    An idea came to mind,one that seemed crazy even to her. Still,it was either that or be forever torn from the child she swore to protect. 

     Grace pressed a hand on her last open wound,hoping the pressure was enough to stop the bleeding. "Hazel,can you give me a hand?"

   Hazel gave her a nod before setting down her remaining ammunition. With a hard shove she opened the door,the elder stumbling through the exit. She could do this,just think of what could happen if she messed this all up. 

    With a deep breath she pulled the child up and into her arms,the sound of footprints growing close making her brow sweat.  The bridge began to shake,the girl stepping back and watching it split down the middle. This was insane,even for the leader of the Apex. One wrong move,just one slip up and they would both be dead. Still,the single glimmer of hope was enough to push her no matter how foolish it all seemed. 

     She began to run,adrenaline drowning out the shocks of pain in her arms and leg. Dirtied tiles of the bridge began to flip towards them,the car disconnecting from the other and rolling itself into the air. Holding the child close she jumped,hand keeping the other's head pressed against her shoulder. Time seemed to slow,the only sound she could hear being her racing heart. The grip on her body tightened,tiny fingers digging into her sides for dear life.

"I'll leave when I want null!"

    If the Grace that could say something so cruel with only minor regrets saw this she would be outraged. Disgusted at how weak she was,angry at how easily she had destroyed the life she had made of this train and enraged that she had abandoned her one true friend. But if that was the Grace she could have become just to keep people by her side,a Grace that put others down for her own satisfaction,that was the Grace she wanted dead.

    It was then she felt something unexpected. Something that made her finally open her eyes. The dark green floors that lead into one of the train's many cars. She was here. She made it. She was alive. No,they were alive. 

    She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry,the excited rush running through her every bone. She did know one thing,the realization bringing a smile to her face. 

"Are...Are we okay?"

     Grace let out a happy sigh,holding her close. "We're okay Hazel,we're okay"

"GRACE!"

Well...almost okay.

     She turned to see the train car thousands of feet above her. A body rushed to the edge meeting her gaze for a split second. It slowly stepped back before running towards the edge,attempting to copy her daring escape. Only a tight grip kept him from the leap of faith,a hand grabbing his already scuffed up hood. A woman yanked him to her side,surely scolding him for even thinking someone could succeed at something so dangerous twice. 

    The boy pulled away,falling to his knees as he leaned over the edge. Even from far away she could see his face bright red,never ending globby tears falling from his down his cheeks until they landed on his fists. His eyes were filled with so many emotions,pain,anger,sadness,yet only one seemed to smother them all under its cloak. Agony. Pure,unfiltered agony. 

    He reached out for her,thousands of feet apart as he held back sobs through grit teeth. Guilt tugged at her heart,a part of her wanting to use the janky pack one last time. She instead raised her arm,giving him a weak wave. 

    Brown eyes grew wide,the clanging of the gears below meaning only one thing. He let out one last strangled scream,words barely breaking through his cries it faded off with the car. 

"GRAAAAAAAAAACE!"

In a flash they were gone,the train still chugging on without them.

    The girl slowly turned,opening the door in silence. Tired eyes looked around,catching sight of dotted paper folded into what resembled a tree. She made her way to it before setting down the child in her arms. She let herself collapse against the trunk,purple slips of paper falling off and to the ground. A heavy sigh escaped her,eyes focused on the sky. It was a mix of warm reds and oranges,the gold of the origami sun peaking through the swirls of dawn. If she squinted hard enough she could pretend it was yet another comforting sunset from her old home off the train. Few things in the train made her want to return to such an awful place,yet she couldn't help but wonder if the sunsets that now only her family could see looked the same. 'Simon would have liked this'

    She turned,expecting to find her friend staring off into the distance with a rare calm smile on his face. Instead she was greeted by Hazel looking to her with a nervous expression. 

"Grace?"

"Yeah?"

"Your sleeve ripped off"

     She looked to her shoulder,the orange sleeve ripped off leaving only thin strings behind. "Oh...I didn't notice"

 "And your arms..."

      Her eyes drifted towards her arm,a scar running from her shoulder,down the limb and leaking through the last row of numbers. The last digit was left flickering like a broken light,the girl pressing a thumb on it as if to keep it still. She let out a pained hiss,holding her arm out to avoid any more injuries. 

    The sound of ripping caught her attention,Grace finding Hazel tugging at a stray strip that hung from the paper tree's branch. Before she could question her the strip snapped,the child then handing it to her. "Here,it's so you don't bleed to death and die"

"Right" She took the strip from her tiny hands,starting from her elbow with a tired grin. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd be with Simon"

     Grace stopped,eyes full of worry as she looked to the child. She clutched the hem of her sweater vest,shifting from heel to heel. "You...You can go back if you want to"

"Hazel..."

"It's okay" She lied. "I-I can take care of myself. You can look for him and I'll go to the Apex. I promise I'll be safe and find it fast"

     The Apex. In this whole mess she had nearly forgotten about the rag tag group of children no older than sixteen at most. She glanced to her number,then to the child. In her eyes she was the same Hazel she had known since the jungle car,but to Simon with just one word she became an enemy. All it took was one moment to change everything. "Hazel...we can't go back to the Apex now"

"But what about the other kids?"

"Simon...Me and Simon taught them a lot of bad things" She finally admitted. "If we go there now..." In all truth she didn't know what would happen,children were unpredictable after all. What she did know was that if they went now,their second leader gone with a denizen in his place,it would end badly for both of them. 

    Hazel thought for a moment,returning to her seat by her side. She looked back to Grace,eyes focused on the few numbers she could see peeking out from her makeshift bandage. She did the same,her own number a dull grey. Permanent and unchanging. Even in the few similarities they had there was always something keeping her miles away from being one as close to her as she was before. Back when she thought she was human. "Do you miss Simon?"

    The girl traced the top row of her numbers with a thumb,imaging the other's sure to have grown exponentially by the time they met again. Was there even a chance of them meeting again on a train that seemed to go on for infinity? "I don't know yet"

"Its okay if you want to cry"

She looked to the child,eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

    Hazel pulled her knees to her chest,chin rested on them. "Simon was bad...really bad"

"That's a nice way to put it" In all honesty she expected a lot more animosity on her end. If she had to describe someone that killed her mother and hated her very existence something as simple as 'bad' would be the farthest word from her mind. 

"But he was still your friend," Hazel reminded her. "Even when he was bad you wanted him to come with you"

"I..." 

    She could still feel her feet planted to the rocky ground,close to frustrated tears as he stood what felt like miles away. 'JUST ANSWER ME!' Was what she wanted to scream or better yet just grab him by the hood and swing across the pit and onto the other side. They probably could have settled the whole denizen issue if they just had a moment to talk,right? Surely he could understand what she did if he just took the time to listen. But then again,if it wasn't what he wanted to hear,would he listen at all? "I guess I did..."

"Simon was like your Tuba"

     Grace froze at the sentiment. Tuba was someone so kind,so motherly,so generous, and Simon was so...well,he was a lot of things. Stubborn,clueless at times and yet far too blunt at others but at the same time he wasn't all bad. He wrote fantasy novels that were nothing short of comedic in their sincerity but she dare not ruin his dreams. He spent his heart and soul on miniatures and creating worlds he could never see out of junk collected from their many raids and he always found some excuse to be by her side at every other free moment. He was a dork plain and simple but a dork she had spent her most of her life on this train with. 

    Her eyes widened at the realization. Ten years. Ten years of spending cold nights on the train together,ten years of doing the dumbest things to get a laugh out of the other,ten years of being each other's shoulder to cry on each time they thought of their life before the train,and ten years sure that they would spend the rest of their lives on this stupid train together. 

     Tears pricked at the corner of their eyes,the girl quick to wipe them away. No,don't think about the past. It'll hurt less if you just ignore it and move on. Just move on from their mess and onto the next car as they had done before. 

      A pair of small arms wrapped around her waist,a now beakless face pressed against her side. Tears slowly fell down her cheeks,soaking the paper leaves that had collected around the two. For the first time in what felt like years she sobbed,cries loud and pained. She could already imagine her mother hovering over her,scolding her for grieving with no grace. "You're embarrassing yourself" 'You're embarrassing me' is what she truly meant,at least that's what she assumed for so long. Yet this time she didn't feel the shame that had once been forced upon her. Instead a new feeling slowly began to fill her. 

Relief

   Relieved to have escaped what was sure to be Hell if she hadn't taken Hazel in her arms and away from the remaining two passengers,relieved to be free from the shackles of holding so many secrets,and relieved that she could finally start over. No more Grace Monroe,leader of the Apex who tormented denizens for their own amusement. Now she was a new Grace,not one entirely figured out but one she was willing to find. She would figure out how to rescue the remaining children later,for now she lay in the origami car watching the sky turn to a gorgeous dark blue with sparkling paper stars.

"Grace?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

   A soft smile returned to her face,a gentle hand resting on the other's head. "Yeah,I'm okay"

"You're being honest,right?"

She let out a weak chuckle. "Yeah,no more lying"

"Okay...but what are we gonna do now?"

Grace thought for a moment,looking to the sky. "I don't know...but we'll find out together"

Hazel nodded in agreement before letting out a yawn. 

"You tired?"

Another nod from the young girl. 

"You can take a nap,you deserve a break" She released her from her hold,Hazel immediately flopping onto her lap. She couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. 

     Hazel hesitated for a moment before looking to her. "Are you gonna be gone when I wake up?"

"Of course not" Grace assured her. "I'm not leaving you,ever"

     Hazel hummed before turning back to rest on her thigh. Eyes shut tight she slowly drifted off until she was fast asleep. 

      Grace let out a sigh,her own eyes close to drooping shut. Where to next? The question lingered in her mind,not an answer in sight. Maybe they could focus on her number,try to get it to glow and drop to zero so they could both escape this nightmare. Or maybe she could reform the Apex,make it better and tell each and every child the truth or maybe...maybe she just needed to get some sleep. 

    Head leaning back against the trunk she finally shut her eyes,each muscle slowly relaxing until she placed a protective arm over the sleeping child. Before she could fall asleep a soft song fell past her lips,ease settling over the two once they both sat fast asleep under the origami tree. 

"Don't be a worry baby

No need to hurry, baby

When you're with me"

[thebigqueer]

hiii! could you write a fic/headcanons of leo, nico and will. i had no idea that was a ship until recently and i love it!!! and i want to read how they get together. in my mind solangelo is already dating (bc leo is in no condition to date after canon) and after leo comes back (after toa5) they became friends and eventually they confess to leo (when he already got over calypso and is better emotionally y'know?). no pressure if you don't feel like writing this tho :)))

hhhh anon im sorry i absolutely would love to write this for you into like an actual fic but it takes me a long time to write fics :(

but! i can def give you headcanons! after all they’re like fics but in outline form and much less grammatically correct! but if i do make a fanfic, i’ll be sure to post it. maybe you’ll like it! can’t make any promises i’d write it anytime soon though cuz i have a few more projects on the line but you know... i’m def considering making one after everything i’ve written in this post...

okay exactly yes i totally agree that leo only gets with them after he’s emotionally stable & after toa5

this is straying from soldezangelo a little but i made a post here about what i personally think should have happened w/ leo’s ending in HoO, if you’re interested in reading it. i’m gonna make the following bullet points based on that

but tldr: i’m just basically saying that i wish caleo ended up leaving ogygia as friends so that leo didn’t get that forced romance on him

so he stays at the waystation for a while with calypso (only as friends; like they’re staying there and are really adorable friends) and all the while he’s really thinking only about himself and his well-being. he goes back to high school and keeps up with that project he’s doing w/ other kids and giving them opportunities to make things (GOD THAT WAS SO CUTE)

then leo decides that maybe for the winter, he’ll go back for a trip (i also hc that piper and percy and annabeth go to chb for the same winter so that some of the seven see each other!)

there, he meets will and nico, but i think mostly he’s interested in talking w/ nico. so they talk a lot. nico expresses how angry they were for leo dying like that and scaring everyone, and leo says he’s sorry but he had to. i think this also provides nico and leo the perfect opportunity to talk about jason, since they were both really good friends with him. and nico also understands that it was leo’s decision and his sacrifice. but they also talk about how leo’s sacrifice kind of... felt weird. since in the end, they still lost the storm but the fire lived on (ehehhehe idk if that made sense but i was tryna be smart lakjsdlfkj) 

i think that opportunity ultimately provides nico and leo to get along a LOT better with each other, and they both realize that they actually have been through a lot of similar feelings. by which i mean theyre both so fuckin mentally unstable and they relate to one another.

nico talks about how he’s been in a relationship with will for a while, and leo’s happy for him, really. but i think a small part of him is jealous, too. not because “oh god here’s another couple im supposed to worry about after ive just started getting over this ingrained idea of needing romance to solve all my issues and feeling like i belong,” but more because i think leo’s always been a little attracted to nico since they were on the argo II with each other. i don’t think he ever acted on those feelings, especially since a lot of the people on that ship were more judgmental towards nico and he probably felt like he had to be as well (by the way, none of this is an excuse to leo’s treatment of nico, or, by extension, an excuse for anyone’s treatment of nico on the argo II.)

leo apologizes to nico about how he treated him, and nico smiles and tells him it’s fine. like, nico has had his own bout of personal growth as well, especially in the past year. he doesn’t - and won’t - forget how people treated him, but now he’s learning to just let it go, in a sense. 

and i think this is when leo and nico kind of develop underlying feelings for each other. 

leo and nico probably hang out a lot, but will also joins becuase he’s nico’s boyfriend, and nico loves to have him tag along. so i think leo feels a little intimidated by will, like “damn my crush is really just bringing along their boyfriend huh??” 

and leo’s like. so jealous. like “ugh why does this hot golden ray of sunshine have to ruin everything. why is he always around. he’s so fucking distracting. like hello i’m trying to simp for nico but he’s so gorgeous for the both of us.” and then it hits leo that oh wait oh fuck he actually likes both of them and that “intimidation” he was feeling was mostly just him being attracted LMAO

leo and will get a bit closer through nico, and then i think the two of them are like very joke-y with each other, and they totally connect with each other about texas and being absolute fucking NERDS (since they are both canonically absolute dumbass nerds HSDHFSLFKDJ)

and leo’s struck with how cute he is omG 

and then nico’s like “wow they’re both so glowy aslkdjffdj HHHHH” 

and then will’s like “damn they’re both so dark and mysterious” 

and also not to mention they all totally relate about mental illnesses, abandonment issues, and the like. i mean, after everything that’s happened to all three of them (since will has been through like two wars, has lost two brothers, and has probably lost a lot of lives and feels guilty for it) they probably really relate to each other about always feeling... this dark uncomfortableness inside them. a void. they get really deep about mental health, and i think nico actually suggests to both of them that they should all talk to dionysus, just like he does (because, as we all fucking know, love cannot fix mental health and it doesn’t matter how much they’re all attracted to each other, they will not cure each other just because they’re in love) 

i think somewhere in the relationship between will and nico, a tension starts to build up a little. they’re not really sure how to exactly deal with teh fact that they like leo (and neither of them actually admits it to the other because they like the other as well and they really are not in the mood for a “”””love triangle”””)

but the funny thing is, they probably all talk about it with dionysus in their separate times. and Mr. D is just. he’s so done. 

SLKDJFKLSDHFLJSDKFSDKJFSFDLJK - Mr. D falling asleep at night thinking about this soldezangelo thing because he thinks it’s really funny that they all like each other but don’t wanna admit it

he totally suggests that nico and will talk about it together, and after lots of hesitation, will is probably the first one to come outright and say that he likes leo as well. and nico’s like “OMG WHAT ME TOO. like i really like you but i also really like leo...”

so they’re both actually really relieved, because they didn’t really want to break up with each other but they didn’t really want to keep lying to each other, either. 

and they tell leo, and then leo’s so happy because lKJSDFJLSLDFK YALL I LIKED YOU FOR THE LONGEST TIME

and bada-bing, bada-boom, ya got yourself a little soldezangelo!!!! 

i hope you liked that!!! i’m actually tempted to make this into a fic now, but since it’s already in headcanon form is there a point? hmm... imma think on this though. thank you SO MUCH for the ask!!!

[lotusthekat]

I’ve felt this way before (so insecure)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T

Relationships: Steven & Lars (please do not ship them)

Characters: Steven Quartz Universe, Lars Barriga

Summary: There’s something wrong with him.

Word count: 2.200

AO3

A/N: basically me venting through Steven and also to show off my very personal headcanon that he might have BPD.

Please be aware of the trigger warnings below. Take care of yourself. <3

TRIGGER WARNINGS - non-graphic depictions of self-harm and blood, trauma, panic attack, anxiety and depression.

--

It was weird when Steven received Lars’ text, suggesting their usual baking session could take place at the former’s house instead. As if Steven hadn’t just trapped Lars and all their friends in an enclosing pink dome.

Well, Lars still hasn’t decided whether he’d go to space or not, but considering everyone else was definitely leaving, then Steven didn’t take it very well. But he wasn’t anywhere mature about it, either. It embarrasses him every night when he can’t sleep.

Even then, Steven couldn’t reject the invitation. If anything, he’s quite relieved that Lars wants to hang out with him despite the scene. But deep inside…

There’s something wrong with him.

Maybe since his new powers developed, as they’ve only gotten stronger and more dangerous with each day. They synchronize with his emotions. And that’s exactly the problem.

Steven’s emotions have been staggering.

He doesn’t want to be abandoned, but he doesn’t want to hold anyone back.

He’s angry at everyone, at himself and no one. He’s so angry, he’s prone to lashing out and cracking walls and windows far too often.

He’s ashamed of his shameful clinging to everyone around him, and as a result, he’s isolated himself. Then Steven becomes sad and tired, too, which is why he dropped Little Homeschool in the first place.

But in the next moment, he’ll be smiling like nothing happened. Because maybe he should be getting his life together. Maybe he should smile and let it go.

In reality, his mind is dangerous. Domes and walls will imprison him, while he tries to protect himself from something inevitable.

(Loneliness? Death? War? Everything? Nothing?)

It’s confusing and terrifying and Steven has no idea how to get through this. However, the half-gem can’t let anyone know, because what if they actually leave him when they realize how unstable he is? What if Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst leave the house forever? What if Connie never comes back to Beach City? What if Dad also moves out? What if Lars really goes to space?

It’s especially harder to hide now, with Lars right next to him, laughing at the stories Steven is telling him. Lars is having such a good time, and Steven is trying, because his friend will leave if the dome disaster happens again.

Steven has shoved his pink fists inside his pockets, only helping when Lars needs. It’s been tough keeping it all in. Keeping the hurt, enraged pink to himself. It aches for something, something he’s not at all sure.

The younger boy doesn’t want to ruin their time. He doesn’t want to push Lars away. He might go to space and never come back. Maybe he won’t even want Steven to visit him.

Be quiet.

Think of love.

Flexibility, love and trust.

It’s okay.

It’s okay.

It’s not.

Shut up.

It’s not!

“… uh, Steven?”

The sixteen-year-old boys looks at his friend as if he were away to space again.

“Oh, hi,” Steven laughs nervously.

“You, um. You wanna take a break? You look a little—”

“T-That’d be great!” Steven blurts out. “I gotta go to the bathroom real quick, don’t disappear while I’m gone!” He laughs forcibly as he runs to the small door and locks himself inside before Lars notices.

He lets out the shakiest breath.

Why is this happening?

Why can’t he be okay?

He…

He needs to do something.

Steven inhales deeply, very deeply, trying to swallow the threatening tears. Not now. Not now.

It’s useless.

He’s useless.

…

He needs to do it.

Steven hates it,

but there’s nothing else he can do.

The boy takes a look at himself before opening the mirror cabinet. He’s crying despite telling himself no, and he’s glowing pink like never before.

This is the only way, then.

Beside the Diamond Aura bottles lie the small, subtle razor blades, now shining bright with his pink reflection.

Steven already shudders just by touching the blades, sharp in his fingers.

His hands are trembling badly, for that matter.

He hates, hates doing this.

But if the pink won’t comply, then he has no choice.

It’ll be quick, though.

He’ll be fine.

…

The moment the blades are close, his thoughts scream.

They cry like lost souls haunting him, the same ones that have stalked him for all these years.

Steven is angry.

Get out!

GET OUT!

…

Then there are crimson flames in his pink arms, burning like lava and poison.

It makes him sick.

He’s gonna puke.

The blades fall off his hands.

Steven will never be used to this.

Even if they’ll be gone with one healing tear…

The red hurts.

Steven’s arms wrap around himself, maybe as a way of comfort. Maybe so he doesn’t throw up and panic.

His own pathetic hug is all he has, soothing the painful but quiet sobs.

However, the world outside comes right back, knocking at his door.

“Steven?”

Gasping, the boy takes the stained razor blades off the floor and put them back in the cabinet.

“Just a second!” He exclaims.

“I- I heard you crying, is everything-?”

“Yep, everything’s fine!”

Lars soon sounds frustrated, “Dude, you’ve been weird all day, why won’t you talk to me?”

Oh no, no, no

“Wait, please!” Steven begs, please don’t be mad, don’t leave me, please—

He quickly kisses both of his arms, the crimson stains gone, and he cleans the remainders from his mouth.

Steven doesn’t waste time to open the door and force a smile onto his face.

“I’m right here!” He yells. “I’m completely fine!”

Lars opens his mouth, only for his eyes to go horribly wide.

“… Lars?”

“St- Steven, there’s blood all over your jacket!”

Indeed, his pink jacket is stained where he’d been hugging.

Something cracks.

(His mask? His lies?)

“It- I-It was an accident! I w-was… I…”

What sort of accident?

What could explain it?

“I…” tears form in the corner of his growing eyes, his skin glowing pink again. “I…”

Lars’ eyes pale. “Steven…”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, the younger boy laughs.

“You must think I’m crazy, right?” Steven asks, his smile fading to nothing. “Maybe I am. Nothing is making sense anymore,” he sniffs and looks away, avoiding the horrified stare. “You should probably leave, Lars. I-I don’t want to hold you back again. I’m sorry.”

The lonely silence meets him. It’s all so quiet, Lars might not even be there anymore. It’s probably for the best.

Regardless, steps come forward and Steven shivers.

Soft yet calloused hands carefully reach his arms, pulling up his sleeves.

“… are your arms okay?” The question is quiet. Too quiet. But not angry.

Steven gulps either way, nodding, “I-I healed them. It’s okay.”

“… okay.”

Thumbs rub where the crimson once was. They soon go for his shaking hands, squeezing both with care.

Lars doesn’t look angry at all.

At least not to the eye.

Steven doesn’t know if that’s a good thing, unsure what his friend is feeling.

Lars takes a deep breath – and Steven shivers again, expecting to get yelled at – only for him to give him a simple command.

“Turn around, will you?”

“Um- okay?” He does as he’s told and wonders what this is about, when…

Lars removes the jacket for him, leaving Steven with his black t-shirt exposed.

“We should probably wash this, right?” Lars suggests, not a hint of annoyance noted. “Where’s your washing machine again?”

“O-Oh, it’s…” Steven gulps, “it’s outside. We’d have to take the warp pad there.”

“Alright.”

Lars walks to the crystal platform inside the house, expecting Steven to come with. In spite of all his confusion, the half-gem takes them to the giant hand statue that holds the machine and the clothes that are yet to be dried.

Steven hasn’t been here with someone else in a long time, to be fair. He’s had good times here. But bad ones too.

Lars does all the work, even if Steven insists he shouldn’t. The older boy doesn’t complain.

The stained pink jacket is then inside the repetitive, circled movement inside, the crimson clues to be gone in minutes. Lars doesn’t actually question how the washing machine works, which is quite unlike his nature.

Steven is scared of questioning it, afraid Lars might actually be mad at him. Maybe he’s planning to leave soon. He must be doing all of this out of obligation, even though he shouldn’t.

Lars is waiting in front of the machine, arms crossed. They don’t share any words.

Steven has… so much to say, and yet…

He’s so humiliated.

He sits at the corner of the giant hand, holding his own hands.

“Lars…” Steven dares let out, “are you mad at me?”

The seconds that follow terrify him.

“No,” Lars replies simply, approaching him, “of course not.”

“Why won’t you say anything, then?” Steven insists, loud. “W-Why are you still here?” He burns pink, “I thought you wouldn’t want to see me again after everything I’ve done!”

He dries his own tears, ultimately hiding his face because it’s useless.

Lars is sitting next to him, but not too close.

“Do you want me to leave?” The older teen wonders.

Steven overthinks.

“… no.”

“I thought so.”

Steven vaguely looks at his friend. “D-Do you want to, though?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my friend, Steven. And something has been wrong for a long time now,”—Lars looks back, sympathetic —“hasn’t it?”

The sixteen-year-old gazes at him, unable to give a verbal response.

Lars gets it.

“Have you…” he hesitates, “have you hurt yourself before?”

Steven clutches his arms.

“Yeah.”

“Does it make you feel better?”

Steven ponders in the setting, giant sun watching them from the horizon.

“I don’t know,” he mutters.

Lars quietly expects him to continue.

“I hate doing it, actually,” Steven admits, “I always feel sick every time I do it. But for some reason, I… I want to do it again, again, and again, because… it’s all I can do.”

He stares at his arm, as if it’s red still.

“I know it’s wrong, but… it’s all I have right now. It’s the only way I have of letting everything out, without hurting anyone else. I can’t let people know how much of a mess I am, or else—” he sniffs, “they’re going to leave me. They’re going to realize I’m a fraud. T-That I’m- I’m not as good as everyone thinks I am.”

Steven squeezes his arm, quite too tight.

Lars puts his hand onto his, silently asking him to stop.

He does.

“So, no one else knows about this?” Lars asks.

Steven shakes his head.

“I didn’t want you to find out.”

Lars doesn’t take his hand away. In fact, he’s rubbing Steven’s arm again. The latter doesn’t want to say it, but it’s quite comforting.

“I’m glad I do, though,” the space pirate says. “I mean, of course I’m upset you’re hurt… but I could never leave you for feeling that way, buddy.”

Steven looks up in hope. “Really?”

“Really. Steven”— Lars sighs —“you know how much you mean to me, right?”

The younger boy wants to say yes, but…

“Well, maybe I don’t show it that much,” Lars speaks, taking his silence for an answer. “Maybe I should’ve realized why you were so upset at the Graduation, and I’m sorry I didn’t. But Steven… you’ve changed my life so much that I could never thank you enough. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. And even then, you didn’t need to prove me anything. I always knew you were amazing, as much of a prick I was back then.”

Steven is…

He’d never imagine Lars felt this way.

“What I mean is…” the taller boy’s eyes are also shining with water. “I love you, Steven. I do.” Lars is smiling with the most fondness Steven has ever seen. “And I love every part of you, even the ones you want to hide.” This time, he’s pulling Steven close with an arm wrapped around the latter’s shoulders. “I know it’ll take a while for you to remember this, but that’s okay. I’ll be here to remind you every time you need.”

“Lars…”

Steven has absolutely no idea what he could say.

I love you, too.

I’m sorry.

For what?

I don’t know.

Lars doesn’t expect him to speak, though.

He’s then squeezing Steven in a half hug.

“Can you promise me something?” Lars wonders. “Will you tell me when you want to hurt yourself again?”

Steven hesitates.

“I… I-I’ll try.”

“Please do. You don’t deserve to hurt, pal.”

Steven tries to hold in, but he buries himself in the other’s chest, like a child haunted by a nightmare. Lars retributes the hug and even rocks him a little side to side.

“I-I’m… I’m glad you’re here, Lars,” Steven sobs.

“Yeah, me too.” Lars puts a hand on the back of his head, softening his messy curls.

The now clean jacket is set to wait out in the night. The boys end up ordering pizza, pushing the baking session for another day. They resort to the champignon pizza Steven has gotten fond of as of late.

At least tonight, he sleeps at ease.

[cottoncandyjester]

Hey guys im sorry I haven't been posting, honestly tumblr is making it hard to. every single story I write tumblr crashes then deletes it so it's been HIGHLY frustrating...guess I need to invest in a laptop or a better phone

Sorry this was so long I always want the boys' back stories to be only 2 parts

This story contains: death, torture, abuse, toxic relationships, murder, violent themes

"you're too soft! They are sinners theodore why are you being so damn sensitive"

Theo winced at the punch his father landed which caused him to stumble back his back hitting the table which held their latest victim, a young woman that theo cleaned up and dressed in his mother's clothes, he didn't like the sight of her all bloody and mangled it made his heart sting.

Theo never helped to Kill any of these women, only cleaned them up and made sure they looked beautiful in death it was his way if asking for forgiveness.

When he was ten he idolized his father but it's been two years since he caught his father and been training under him to take his place and all that love vanished he found himself feeling nothing but hate and disgust for his father, what made matters worse was the fact that his mother had to take half the brunt of his father's anger.

"I won't do this anymore, you're wrong. Women aren't devils, mother is an angel and I wont hurt her"

Theo's harsh remark earned him yet another punch in the face this one knocking him down as he spat out blood the metallic taste making him sick to his stomach.

"you're a damn fool boy, I'll make you see her filth"

With that his father left him in the attic to starve for the night which was always a common occurrence. As he laid back on the floor the boy let out a dry chuckle.

"Just a little more...then you'll be the one burning in hell father"

Theodore felt everything go black and it wasn't long until he had passed out soon waking back up in bed with his mother caring for his wounds. He could smell her sweet perfume and hear her soft humming, something about those things made his heart flutter in the purest of ways.

"you should be careful theo, you know making him angrier will only result in pain"

"it's okay, we'll leave together one day..just me and you.."

There was silence after that and for a while things were okay, the family was quiet during dinner and once it got late theo figured his father would have went to bed forgiving him for his outburst in the morning.

Theo woke to the sound of two metal objects clashing together, the sound was enough to stir him awake though when he tried to move he realized he was tied up against a chair. That clashing noise he heard was his father sharpening a few knives, the sight made theo's blood run Cold.

"f-father?"

"god told abraham to kill his son, and abraham was about to do it like a loyal sheep. God will make you do awful things theodore and as a man we must do them"

Theo frantically struggled against the ropes binding him only feeling more and more stressed as his father stepped closer and closer thing soft steps of his shoes making theo feel like he had to puke.

What's going to happen to me?

Am I going to die?

Theo felt his father press the tip of the blade pressed softly against his forehead on the left side of his face, the cool metal only brought theo to reality more, his father was going to kill him cause god said so.

"i-i know we are nothing alike but please-"

"we are absolutely nothing alike! You are exactly like your mother a sissy little housewife! You were never going to be a good man or husband! When I asked God for a son I thought he would send me one I could be proud of!"

Rage fuelled theo, he wasnt sure why but something about what his father said made him want to scream, his father was wrong... absolutely wrong.

"I'll be a perfect husband, and a better Father than you"

As soon as he said those words theo felt the sharp pain of his father pushing the blade into his skin earning a sharp inhale of breath trying not to show too much weakness. Theo kept thinking about his mother and how in a way he was protecting her, their goal were to run away safely together.

"we might have one thing in common theodore, you have a devil in you just like me..it's time to show you just how tainted you are"

With that theo felt a harsh intense pain as his father dragged his blade along the boy's face earning screams coming from him as he thrashed and tried kicking but his father pressed his knee onto the boy's legs now carving his skin off in such a slow and unbearable way that it was driving theo crazy

"accept your sins theodore! This is your punishment for being unloyal!"

Theodore couldn't stop screaming as the knife raked down his face roughly cutting a large chunk of his skin clean off, the pain was so great he was close to fainting but his father came prepared and injected him with an adrenaline shot.

"p-please f-father please please please..."

Theodore at this point didnt know what he was begging for, maybe death? The overwhelming taste and smell of his own blood was making him sick and not to mention there was a lot of blood pouring down his face.

I'm dying.. god has forsaken me

"may you be reborn as a perfect child next time"

Theo kept his head down but felt a soft kiss on his head before hearing footsteps walk away from him before the door to the attic closed, his father left him to die!

Theo swayed side to side hoping to get free, if he could just get to his father's desk and grab a knife though without his glasses seeing things far away was near impossible though he could see the shape of the desk.

"mother needs me, I can't die.."

Theo grunted in pain as he fell forward which wasn't his plan but he'll take it, with every fiber of his being he crawled and scooted along the ground towards the desk before seeing a knife handle over the edge of the desk. Thankfully his legs were tied just his arms so with some embarrassing attempts to stand of even kneel before turning around to grab the knife with his hand.

Before he could cut himself free he heard banging on the attic door before a crash, the sound was enough to startle him into cutting the palm of his hand and dropping the knife

"argh! I-it hurts!"

Soon the attic door opened and rushing towards him was his loving mother, her frantic questions and worrying about him made him feel far better especially when she untied him from the chair.

"I'm leaving tonight theo, my fiancee is waiting for me outside"

"t-then let's go mother! Now is the perfect time to go!"

There was a tense silence after that as theo felt his mother bandage his wound up, his mother was hiding something and he didn't like it.

"w-we have a little girl and he's very protective of her and well with how your face looks now you'll scare her and I don't want to bring any baggage from my pa-"

Theodore felt as if his head was spinning, what was she saying? He did everything for her he almost died for this woman and she saw him as baggage to toss away before going to her new family.

"y-you're going to leave me here? J-just like that?! I protected you from him! I made sure he never hurt you! Were you ever going to bring me with you?!"

"keep your voice down theo, please calm down you're scaring me-"

"I'm scaring you?! I'm the one scaring you?! How could you?! I'm your child! I love you!"

He watched his mother look down shamefully and slowly back away clearly afraid of what will her next words do to him. Theodore was feeling a little unstable at the moment, his own mother just betrayed him can he truly trust no one in his life?

"your eyes just...look just like him. I can't theo I'm so sorry I can't it's too painful for me.. you're too much like him"

That was the thing that broke theo all together, it was like his brain just snapped and no clear thought came just pure anger and pain. How could she think that?! Theo thought he was nothing like his father absolutely nothing!

"no! I'm nothing like him! Nothing! He's abusive and a horrible man how could you say that!? I thought you loved me but you're just like him-yeah you're like him not me! I'm pure! A good person"

Theo couldn't stop himself, before he knew it he had grabbed the knife he dropped earlier, the large blade held tightly in his hand and scaring the one person he thought he can trust.

"w-why do you want to leave me? You're just embarrassed of me..you don't want me around cause you hate me"

"no no no baby I love you I just-"

Theo swung the knife slashing his mother's arm, hearing her cry out in pain made him only smile as he gazed at her fearful expression. His sense of reason was vanished and all he wanted now was to show everyone how much they hurt him

"maybe if you were a better mother I wouldn't have gotten hurt all the time, maybe if you weren't too busy being a good wife instead of a good mother I wouldn't be in such pain!"

"t-theo please I just-"

"why couldn't I just have a normal family?! I prayed for one! So why!?"

Theo slashed at his mother again and again over and over sloppily slashing at her without caring about where he aimed. He was far more focused on releasing all this pain and betrayal he felt

"why doesn't anyone want me?! Why don't you want me! I want you so what's wrong with me?! Why am I so broken?!"

Theo ignored the sobs and begging for her to stop, they were not processing clear enough to him he just wanted to hurt them to hurt them in ways they hurt him. Her thrashing soon stopped but it wasnt enough for theo, he moved ontop of her now raising the blade and slamming it down inside her chest his eyes glossed over as he did so.

"I'm not like him, I'm nothing like him! I'll be a good father! A good husband! I'll never abandon my family! Never! Never ! Never!"

The knife slipped I his hand and when he tried to catch it he grazed his hand before hearing the knife clatter onto the ground, theo panted heavily before looking at his hands seeing hands were lightly bruised from gripping the knife so hard, he then looked down at his mother and her horror stuck face.

"look at what father did, I told you we should have left before...it's okay I'll protect you"

Theo reached out taking the scarf his mother wore before putting it on himself before pressing it to his nose and taking a deep inhale, the sweet scent gave him shivers.

The sight of his dead mother made the boy tear up but he honestly didn't realize he was the one who had did such a thing, it was something he refused to accept. Now gripping the knife he once had before he creeped down the attic stairs each step more and more anxiety fuelling, from the quiet sounds it seemed like his father was asleep.

Theo had never acted out so violently than when he saw his father sleeping soundly in bed, once again much like before he had completely snapped now walking over and plunging the knife deep into his father's side earning a painted grunt along with his father's eyes to snap open

This caused theo to panic and he did the first thing he could think of which was to bite his victim's ear using that time to shove the blade into his father's chest before biting his ear off and spitting it onto the ground in a feral snarling mess.

"t-there's your demon... y-you're just like me"

"I'm nothing like you! Nothing!"

Theo gripped the knife blade shoving it deeper til it became stuck and his father stopped breathing, what struck theo as odd was the lack of struggling..didn't his father want to live? That escaped his mind as he tried wiggling the blade out of the corpse only to whine lightly at how stuck it was

"heavy, too heavy"

Theodore decided his next plan was to change out of his bloody clothes except for his scarf of course and to turn on the gas stove as high it can possibly go, he used his bedroom window to escape since his mother's boytoy was still waiting for her outside.

One match, it took one match to burn the place down starting the fire in his bedroom and letting it spread. A few minutes after theo jumped out the window the house roared to live now completely on fire.

Theodore only 12 years old had killed his parents and burned the place down, he had no one else to turn to no family or anything so he turned to his local church. They sent him to a boarding school where he grew up and found a passion for medicine as well as helping others.

His dark past always haunted him, he was known as the boy whose family died horrible deaths. There were always rumors about what happened that night some say that his father killed everyone before burning the place and stabbing himself others think that his mother's lover killed them all in an angry rage. Theo would always just shrug and laugh it off thanking God that he's alive

Those dark desires of having a family only grew as he grew older, it became a twisted obsession that festered stronger and stronger by the time he was 18 he was already waiting for marriage..after all a good husband waits for the perfect bride.

"theo? Hey theo? Hello earth to theo?"

Theodore snapped awake only to see his sweet darling staring at him worriedly, he must have fallen asleep in his office again. Theo simply smiled as he stood from his chair

"what's wrong?"

"well, dinner's ready have a good dream or something?"

Theo chuckled softly before running his fingers through his hair trying to come up with a suitable answer

"just dreaming about the past my angel, though I should focus on the future with you after all the past is the past..."

[thotsforvillainrights]

Is there a yandere setsuno you can write or did you already make Headcannons about him?

(I don’t actually remember writing a yandere Setsuno at all to be honest. If I wrote that then it’d most likely be on the masterlist. But I’m 90% sure I didn’t so let’s do it now!)

~Yandere Setsuno~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-Baby come here, lemme pray for you. Setsuno is already unstable as it is. Now imagine magnifying that times 10x. Of course (as usually brought up) the past breakup too?! It’s really not a good outcome for you.

-I mean if you catch his eye or his interest, it really didn’t take much. He’s desperate and lovesick. It can be something as simple as letting him cut in front of you in a coffee shop and chatting with him about the weather while standing in line. After that initial small amount of attention you’ve given, unfortunately he’s hooked. Now he’s coming to that coffee shop every single day (I’m serious) in the hopes of seeing you again. When he finally does see you again, he act’s like it’s some big surprise. “Heeey yoouuu :)” Please don’t let this sweet disposition trick you. He’s really fucking unhinged at this point.

-So now he’s gotten brave enough to follow you everywhere throughout the city as you run mundane errands. The weirdest thing is the way you throw away your coffee cup before entering the mall, and he fishes it out of the trashcan to take home with him that evening after following you all day. He most definitely drinks out of it whenever he misses you the most. Or maybe he just keeps it to put in a shoebox with other trash you’ve thrown away.

-He’s observant. He notes all the little bits and pieces of details about you and plays on it to a T. I mean surely he’s going to wait for you in that coffee shop and by then you should expect it since you just think harmlessly ‘Oh he must be one of their biggest customers’ or ‘Oh he must love this shop too’ but that’s not the case. You’ve met him enough to have a seat with him and enjoy a cup of coffee together. Of course he’s going to bring up a lot of stuff you enjoy but play it off as if it’s just coincidence. Poor little you for thinking this too! 

-Things take a worse turn when you mention your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner of 2 years to him while you guys have a coffee chat together. That’s when he feels the last bit of sanity he has remaining snap. From this point on, he’s more frequent with stalking you. The fact that you don’t notice is so odd, but at least you have that creeping feeling of being watched. But it gets worse. Now that he knows where you keep your spare key (the old fake rock trick yknow?), then he’s going to sneak into your apartment. By now he knows your schedule so he knows when to sneak in. The tricky part is hoping to avoid your significant other...

-Or maybe he doesn’t care at this point about that:)

-After yet another successful night of sneaking into to your apartment and grabbing your panties/boxers/underwear, amongst other things, he sets off to go home and add them to your shrine when suddenly the front door clicks and unlocks. This is odd to him, you shouldn’t be home for another hour or two from your work/school things. That can only mean your partner is coming in. So Toya hides under the bed. But halfway through the hour he realizes he can do something so much better than all of this. Something that’s truly beneficial towards your relationship. Something that can help you two finally be together happily. He smiles to himself proudly and slips from underneath the bed...

-When you come home and see him stringing up the dead body of the love of your life it leaves you frozen in shock/fear. You can turn right now! You can turn and try to make a run for it back out that door but you can’t. You’re just frozen there as your stomach churns and your lunch threatens to spill over your lips. Toya turns to look at you with some sort of twisted and cloudy expression of love. He looks at you as if he’s treated you with utmost kindness and love. There’s a sense of pride in there too. Most of all it’s happiness at finally being able to see your face after a long day of not following you around. He places a bloody hand on the side of his face and smiles sweetly. “Y/N, you’re finally home. Oh my God, I missed you so much.” 

-”T...Toya...w-w-why woul-would you...wh...”

-”Because I love you. Because if I know you love me too. I know we’ll be so much happier without this trash in the way. It’s okay...you don’t need to thank me.” He steps once toward you, hoping you’d run into his arms and kiss him. You stepped backward and slowly reached for the door. But the sudden way his smile dropped and his pupils dilated really made you stop cold. “You wouldn’t wanna do that Y/N. If you try to run away from me I’ll just find you...and kill you. Because if I can’t have you...

no one can...”

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