#i have all these associations and i wish i didnt and some of those have been undone but some are as strong as ever

[art-from-the-juice-box]

hiiii heres my qsmp stuff from my ipad :) its all really old now i don’t have anything during or purgatory since during is in my sketchbook and after that charlie only streamed like one more time before the server imploded and id moved interests in like october

they’re in chronological order from oldest at the top to newest at the bottom- and the tallulah and chayanne designs are so old that if i redrew them now they would look completely different lmao. (they’re also so old that i spelled tallulah’s name wrong lol) those are from before we knew all that much about them (at least for tallulah, i think for chayanne i just hadn’t watched enough streams) but the canvas next to it that didn’t pass the cringe test does have chayannes skull mask so i fixed that part RIGHT after that drawing lmao. the election doodles are from during the winner announcement stream and the charlie glitches are from the evening that stream dropped i watched his pov live and then watched cellbit and phil’s perspective afterwards while doodling it :) watched a lot of tubbo for a bit since he was always live when i was up and before anyone else went live so there’s frubbo as well :]

[fmab]

insane personal rambling below in the tags. hm. sorry !

[candy-red-river]

I wish the ranfren fandom was different here's why

Recently I had a conversation with a friend, which reminded me of things i liked, which reminded me of why i liked ranfren in the first place before i changed drastically.

many months ago, I was out of the hazbin fandom i was exausted and didnt feel like talking to anyone. so i rested and slept as much as i could. when i woke up i felt different, it was one of those times when i would check out strange and surreal media, only stronger. i watched vinesauce, played yume nikki for the first time and adored it,watched vinny play hylics one, and at some point ranren was recomended to me on youtube. i dont remember which one it was but after looking it up on youtube i watched some more vids, the one with nyon and luther particualrly caught my attention because it reminded me of another artist i liked. i had also left another fandom but my memory is sludge. i decided to dig deeper under the assumption that it was made by the same artist i liked, just a longer time ago

the stuff surrounding it shaped my first impressions on ranfren, it was surreal and sounded interesting, it looked like something else so i associated it with other strange media and assumed it would have a mostly quiet theorist fandom with a couple of fan arts but mostly people talking about it was a work of art and expression. (funny fact, i actually disliked randal at first since he looked so anime compared to everyone else, i thought he'd be a yandere side character but i was wrong. i eventually liked him over tim but looking back it corresponds a bit too well with my negative change)

I was wrong. That frustrated me. all i saw was fan art and it just made me feel, empty.

I was hoping i'd find theories, discussuin, analysis, talk about the different parts of the website, talk about its themes and how people felt about it, but i just got the same stuff over and OVER again, which is when i started making theory posts about ranfren, hoping i'd find more people who liked ranfren for more than just it's characters and surface level stuff.

And it worked!! but what happened after is hella complicated so i'll summerize it, when i wouldn't talk to people i'd get bored, so i constantly made new friends in the fandom. eventually i made a friend who i became obsessed with but over time we talked less and less which stressed me out to an extreme degree. eventually today i just had to unfriend them as we refused to block eachother and i wanted to speak to them when i was lessneurotic. which lead my to the first paragraph of this post.

after watching an analysis on something i liked, i felt something and self reflected.

I had become the problem i had in the first place and it had left me nothing but madness in return.

however, it also made me realize something else, why i didn't like the fandom in the first place.

the ranfren fandom doesn't feel like how it should be. ranfren is a free indie project on a website that's almost structure like an arg if you dig though some of the pages, it's surreal self expression from a near illusive person ho keeps themselves private.

yet the fandom reflects none of it, all the fan content feels nearly one dimensional and barely talks about the source material itself aside from it's characters. but nothing else.

all the fandom cares about is social pleasure as well as parasoocial, fanart, shipping, ocs, it all feels so self indulgent in the end without mutuality or respect for ech other, the creator of ranfren, or the project itself. it's shallow water that dries out FAST and it's not sustainable.

the fandom is filled to the brim with hormonal immature teenagers who care nothing for substance, only using ranfren and it's community as a vessel for interaction, not something to enjoy by itself or talk about in a non hypersocial way.

treating the creator like some internet celebrity that they want a piece of instead of a faceless stranger online.

I wish th fandom was a little more quiet, a little more calmer, a little more considerate, and a little more older and that is frankly all i ask by making this post. take of it what you will.

[pawsometoons]

Edit: PLEASE LOOK AT, READ, AND REBLOG THE LINKED POST FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE

I know I usually don't post about stuff like this. But I'm spreading this over to Tumblr to make absolutely sure that everyone in the NiGHTS and Balan fandoms here know this information

I was a victim of Elfie's a while back last year. Both me and a close friend were victims.

At the time, neither of us knew things were this bad. But now I'm releived to know this information is out there and that server is gone for good. And hopefully, nobody will fall for her manipulation again.

CaptainElfie is also on tumblr. Make sure your steer clear of her and block her if you can.

I feel like, since I'm sharing this, I should also share me and my friend's part of the story

My friend doesnt have tumblr, but she is on Twitter (vibripple)

This was an incident from last year, but it's affected both of us pretty harshly. Especially Vib. Not to say we hadnt had a few questionable ordeals in the past. But I'm just going to explain what I can remember, since some of the information I've repressed for the sake of my mental stability.

For the small things, there were plenty of times where me and Vib didnt feel comfortable or safe in the server. Especially with us both being sex repulsed asexuals. Some of this behavior would be from other members of the server, which would never be pointed out or taken care of. And some of this behavior, Elfie had shown herself. Of course, she attempted to show that she cared about mine and Vib's boundaries. But she simply wasnt trying hard enough, since some other members still were pretty icky. Even in VRChat meetings too. Another thing being, both me and Vib had noticed, Elfie never acted very mature at all. She rarely ever took responsibility or tried to act civil in problematic situations.

And then theres the incident that was in the nail in the coffin for us both. It was just after the Monay vs. Fame vs. Love SPLATFEST in Splatoon 3. Both me and Vib were present in it, confident that we would win. Up until the end where Team Money won. Both me and Vib were devastated. Especially since we both associated the splatfest with a comfort character. And seeing we lost, it felt like we let said character down. Especially me. And though, of course, we were aware that yes it's a fictional character, but that didn't stop us from being upset. But elfie took things too far when she took an already bad day and made it absolutely worse. Elfie saw our behavior that day and our massive disappointment in the splatfest results and had the audacity to pull us both into a group chat with another member and act "worried" about our behavior. Again, we were just very upset at the loss of a splatfest that we were positive we were gonna win in, and again, associated with a comfort character. End of story. Or at least we wished it was. Then Elfie went even further to accuse both me AND Vib of being parasocial because of our behavior towards not only the splatfest, but our comfort characters too. Now, Vib has this thing, where she really likes Reala. I have this thing where I really like Judgement Boy. I call Judgement Boy my son, she calls Reala her bff. We BOTH are completely aware that they are both fictional characters and arent real, as much as we wish they were. And yet, here was Elfie, "worrying" about us like we're those tiktok teens who believe in quantum jumping or whatever it's called. We are both grown adults with of course one or two mental disabilities at best. But we are not that mentally ill. During this time, me and Vib could barely speak. We were both having straight up panic attacks on call may I mind you. And Elfie has the gall to try and force us onto VRChat to speak to her about this. In which neither of us had the energy or mental capacity to do at the time because, again, we were both having fully blown panic attacks. Both me and Vib have some pretty bad trauma when it comes to being confronted about things that arent true about us or thing we never even did. What makes this worse, is that I can say for almost everybody in that server, that they've had comfort characters aswell. HELL, there was one member who's status said things about being in love with Reala. Now I'm not against fictional crushes, or those who have F/Os and such. But for me and Vib, we had nothing close to that! Or at least not to that extent. Especially since Vib didnt even have a fictional crush on her comfort character. She saw Reala as a best friend. But again, being fully aware that Reala is a fictional character. So it was basically on the same lines, just not in the exact same way. And THAT user never got called out for it! THEY never got put on the spot in a private gc and being told they're parasocial for it! And all while this was happening, one of my partners, bless his soul, went out of his way to speak to Elfie for us. Which is when we found out that Elfie didnt care as much about us as we thought she did. She claimed that she didnt like our behavior despite us being some of the more normal users in that server, and even had the audacity to call some of our other close friends that we even had invited into the VRChat group gatherings as annoying. It was a whole mess that I regret having one of my partners get involved with, but I am forever grateful for him to have gotten that information for us. So after that incident, we began slowly distancing ourselves from the group and the server. Slowly started blocking people, leaving and blocking the vrchat group, and soon after, blocking Elfie and leaving the server for good.

Things didn't stop right away though. We still kept in touch with a few users who remained in the server, but at least accepted our decision to leave. Some have even stated that Elfie and some of the others "missed us" or "hoped we were okay" which neither of us believed for a second. Elfie herself even tried to pull in one of our close friends who she had as I stated prior, called him annoying. As he states, she said something along the lines of not knowing when she called him annoying and wanted him to join her server. In which, yeah, he didn't fall for that either.

Most of the other members of that server probably don't even know what happened that day. But if you're seeing this and remember us from that server.. well.. now you do.

But I do wish for everyone else who was in this situation aswell to heal. Their experiences should have to be heard too and not just mine. So many more people were hurt by Elfie than just me and you all should listen to them too.

[dullard]

ok heres my wakfu/waven oc sorry i wrote so much. In a few minutes ill add the text written on the image under a readmore. and also probably more text than that. sorry

The text on the image:

Siamont -Waven-era -runs orphanage -mute, no tail -Before Waven's great wave, he was a Sufokian fisherman along with his dad -He lost his younger brother (who he sort of raised) in the wave -With the influx of orphans post-wave, he started an orphanage -He's used to Sufokia's relative acceptance of less "humanoid" races. As a result, he doesn't want to associate with the countries because they tend to exclude or oppress "monsters" (He takes anyone @ the orphanage) (Arrow pointing to top drawing) -He's very patient with all children, but he has none for threats to them (mostly pirates) (Arrow pointing to his tail tuft in the left drawing) His tail was amputated when he was a child. Sufokian rogue pirate mafia incident. This trauma was why he initially stopped talking, he just never really started again. He still doesn't really like rogues. (Arrow pointing to him smiling nervously in the right drawing) Wishes the little iop would stop hitting crabs with a rock but she's so proud of herself he doesn't want to interrupt.

More text no one asked for:

He's very gentle with kids and has a small island orphanage that scrapes by on donations and goodwill. At high tide, there is no sand and the building (ramshackle. Siamont's been adding onto it and building it himself, mostly. As a result, it kind of looks like a boat, actually) looks like its floating on the water, but at low tide there's plenty of space for kids to run and hunt for extra food like molluskies and cwabs. Most of the kids' clothing seems to be repurposed from pirates. If you ask, the kids will tell you he sends the little ones off with the older children to take care of them before handling pirates by himself. Because they don't have much to steal anyway, there haven't been groups of pirates big or strong enough that he couldn't handle it, getting by without major injuries.

He takes on any kids at all that need help. This means trools, puddlies, taurs, and other less-humanoid "monsters." He does try to get children of those groups with their own kind if he can, but twelvians have a less communal child-rearing style, so most of the kids in the orphanage longer-term are twelvians.

Also, he tends to keep people in each of the cities aware that his orphanage exists. Many parents come looking for their children they lost track of during or after the wave. Mostly, this is where donations come from.

As a kid, he tended to be the "babysitter" for quite a few fisherpeople's kids, including his younger brother. He's just always liked kids, although he was less gentle when he was also a child himself and had a tendency to yell and get angry, which he doesn't have anymore.

Sufokia has a lot of pirate rogues who have a mafia-type hold on the Sufokian economy (source: wakfu game lol). He and his younger brother were getting into normal kid trouble and stuck their noses where they didnt belong. A pirate stomped his tail under his boot to stop him fleeing, and they toyed with him for an hour or so before letting him go (in spite of a lot of "well, he might talk- he could be a spy" type talk). His tail had to be amputated, and he just didn't really talk much after that.

His younger brother was studying to be a lawyer as he wanted to finally get some of the more open rogues behind bars for crimes that were hard to address to them. Siamont considered him to be the family's pride and joy, while his brother appreciated Siamont taking on the family profession with their dad and helping him pay for school. Their dad died sometime before the wave. Their mother was not present in their childhoods, and their dad didn't really talk about her much.

[the-s1lly-corner]

"And what will you do when I can't recognize you?"

Eyeless jack x reader angst but it's based around my specific hc that "jack is cursed bc cult stuff and hes forced to eat flesh; and his mind and body are degrading into something not.. human"

So yeah basically reader and jack trying to cope with his whole monster metamorphosis

Cw. For body horror, and tbh this is mostly me rattling on about my hcs of how jack became eyeless jack

That was something he said to you one night, unprompted

Of course you both had a vague idea of what was happening to him; but neither of you had answers... let alone fully understood

Of course, he knew more than you. He was the one living with this... curse.. and he had it before the two of you met

But even now, it was showing how ugly things could get, and it was only the beginning

Obviously; his appearance was changing. His skin became.. cold, veins were showing, he simply looked like he was dying. Obviously, he had pits for eyes, which were constantly dripping this cold black ooze. His ears and teeth were now pointed, and his fingers ended in claws. But other than that; he more or less looked like a normal person, if you overlooked those silly details

Oh, his tongue.. no matter how you may feel about it, the process of how he "obtained" the monstrous thing is horrifying.

To spare the details, his original tongue essentially split into the half dozen tendrils it is today

Not good stuff, and he felt all of it

And of course there's the psychological and behavioral effects of the curse; to get the big bad out of the way, he can no longer eat normal food. No need to elaborate. Good news is, as of now, he doesnt need to feed often. But when he does, he runs the risk of losing control, almost becoming animalistic in the way he behaves

That's his main fear

He's expressed that those frenzies happen he finds it harder and harder to contain himself, or come back down

He worries that one day you'll be the one getting chomped on

Really, there's nothing either of you can do to stop this or lessen the effects of the curse

Bro only has two options; suck it up and become a monster that can't resemble anything of this world. Or die

There already were some nights where he may have snipped at you. He didn't mean to be aggressive, but he was trying so hard to keep it together. He needed you to leave the area and stay away for a while

Some days his memories begin to cloud, that's probably the scariest for him. It'd be scary for everyone, obviously

I dont typically like writing angst without adding some sort of comfort, or happy ending, but that sort of thing just. Doesnt exist here. Jack's fate is pretty much sealed, and what sucks is that he didnt ask to be dragged into this

This is all sorta based off that spin off backstory jack got (though tbf I dont recall if it was even made by his original creator, though my take is in a silly au), where he makes friends who are (unbeknownst to him) in a cult and had plans to use him

Bro didn't want this, and really the whole thing is tragic

Of course, I'll still try to add some comfort, as it feels wrong to just drag this man around like this

Smells seem to have a positive response

Makes sense; its said that the brain ties smells to memories, and associating it with certain things

So if you wear a certain perfume or use a certain detergent to wash clothing, he'll definitely remember and recognize it. It seems to help him come down after a bad spot

Journaling can help him keep track of the days; though you'll need to give him some time on that... hard to hold pencils when you have claws..

And of course, comfort him; be there for him

I wish I could end this kinda bummer hc ramble off on a lighter note, but the whole thing/this side of eyeless jack is just so

You know?

Anyways yeah I write all my eyeless jack stuff with these ideas in mind so

Yeah, that's why I tend to write EJ all gloomy and reclusive

[narwhalandchill]

anyway tho like. overall (SPOILER FREE!!) natlan first impressions over last week in no particular order for me bc i felt like it sooooo

Firstly: the environments are absolutely insane like. i love the vibrancy they brought into it and the striking distinct sceneries between the three main regions (tho lowkey any water region post-fontaine is... unfortunate for basically feeling like its lacking a layer w/o diving) that rly make them feel unique!! like i havent explored an insane amount but a decent bit nonetheless and i think as much as i Liked fontaine the aboveground environments there just werent that unique which like. kinda couldnt be helped given the geographic inspirations like it was good and v beautiful in its own way but more like. mondstadt premium french steampunk edition if that makes sense. whereas natlan is already striking such a distinct image for itself and thats just great

also loving all the kinds of living creatures going about everywhere like not even accounting for the saurians genshins rly come so far from the early days of barely any non-monster creature anywhere (mondstadt cavalry but no horses moment) and i love all the creatures sm 💕💕 Especially all the surprise chests theyve incorporated into tiny interactions with the animals like it just feels v fresh and immersive. theyve rly nailed the feeling of making the natural environment feel lived in its so nice

the music is also just. knocking it out of the park like ive had to pause on multiple occasions just to listen bc holy shit its good 😭😭😭 and this is also sth i think compares to fontaine bc. i mean as much as of a cringe moment the whole "wow YPC left and now fontaine music is mid its over" tantrum was (ESPECIALLY once remuria dropped like 💀💀💀 that was just gloating . A whole music based region and culture????? ya we get it) buuut. now w natlan. i do have to admit that fontaine does suffer from some of its environmental soundtracks not being as distinctly memorable as previous nations and now natlan as well . obviously fontaine has its shiver-worthy standouts but its interesting that most of those for me are bc of their use in the AQ and that association . whereas natlans been jumpscaring me left and right on the first listen lmao . anyway to be clear the point is not me hating on fontaine music for lacking impact (but never polish or quality) in some tracks just that hoyomix in natlan is delivering some insanely good stuff rn jsjskskskakdkdk

next. SAURIANS. hoyo. Hoyo . WHY DO WE HAVE TO KILL THEM????????!??? HELLO????@?

ITS SO AWFUL I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER 😭😭😭😭😭 like the small ones?????? The whelps WHIMPERING?????? id rather you punched me in the face this is horrible 😭😭 like you rly saw all the complaints about killing the cute sea creatures in fontaine being too cruel and we dont want that and went bet 💀💀💀 why do i have to wear the skin of a baby saurians mom to murder the kids its so. This is terrible why would you do thisss. id rather merk 7848 seals in Fontaine than hurt a single saurian its so badd

But uhhhhh yeah saurians are great, i rly rly love their goofy animations and how much personality each kind exudes theyre just . Lovable shaped and all i just wish they didnt. Make them THE abundant overworld enemy we need for mats 💀💀💀

In all seriousness tho gameplay wise i really like how the saurians kinda bridge the gap between the older 1.x-2.x exploration where it was really mostly just you with your characters not that many exploration mechanics to boost mobility and traversal at all and then the 3.x era and afterwards where there are all forms of assistance from things like the dendro anchors and chenyu vale mechanics and everything bc. as much as the mobility boosts are nice they kinda had the risk of taking you Out of the exploration so it just turns into a zoom around with gadgets mini game ya know???? But i think w the saurians its a lot more balanced bc. youre still playing As a specific character with their own movement and controls not just getting warped from 1 location to another as a hydro bubble and thats rly rly nice. tho i have to say the koholasaur controls are kinda ass compared to the other 2 lmao . like ig its just post fontaine problems where we Already Got flawless underwater movement so its just. not the saurian alone but the water environments themselves just being ehhh without that added... depth (haha) there??

anyway unfortunately tho on a more negative note wrt the characters im still very uhhhh. mixed on the very modern design direction taken for the playable units and the overall lack of cohesion between a lot of them like. yes natlan is its own thing with different tribes and it should stand out but something about it just takes it a bit too far for suspension of disbelief . the three 5.0 characters i think look overall good and work well enough, but then theres designs like chasca and mavuika where its just . Ehhhh.

like chasca in particular (and im sorry in advance for never letting you unsee this either) i havent been able to stop thinking about a comment i saw about how like. her makeup is WAY too detailed and intense for genshins facial models and makes her face look really weird and just kind of like a bratz doll? compared to the rest of the cast like its really this borderline "yassified" parody of a heavy makeup look that just. Doesnt look natural nor fit in with the rest of genshins characters roster and she just looks off its . Weird. like obviously ik theres a lot of v intense hate going on for her design to the point where its actively hurtful to those who like her and idt thats good at all but this is kinda why her model has such issues for me. and the mess of an outfit doesnt help with the uncanny face stuff either lmao

mavuika is more of an outfit problem honestly like. her hair is good the eyes are amazing the color scheme is great & love the sun motifs and her hair accessory but i just. a biker????? Huh? and not even a particularly good looking biker design its literally just a plain bodysuit design without the usual detailing and dangly things to make it look better from the back that theyve usually done w bodysuit type charas (think shenhe) its just this. uncomfortable looking sausage casing of a disaster garment and that zipper is just.... not it 💀💀💀 like. it doesnt look completely awful if i dont actively think about it so its like whatever but i wish she was given sth a bit different. also ffs i hope she doesnt get ACTUAL motorbike animations like the memes are funny yeah but. thats too much for me sorry thats hsr and zzz stuff . like its just. The overt modernity in natlan isnt doing it for me very much 😔😔

But oh well i hope ill warm up to the cast over time. beyond mby chasca its not like i hate-hate the look of anyone to the point where its off putting its just a Bit of a mixed feeling for now. kinich and citlali are easily my favorites from the revealed designs tho and i do actually like xilonen as well (& kachina is baby) . n like to be fair maybe its just not my style this time around - fontaine was Really catering to me personally with the designs there bc i love ruffles and lolita style inspirations and more historical fashion references and uniform-like elements for garments so a lot of designs were just hook line and sinker for me personally lmao . but ig that does make it very fucking predictable that my favorite design in natlans cast so far is Easily capitano even tho he kinda doesnt count bc i just fucking love goth historical military uniform aesthetics so much its embarrassing 😭😭😭 dont ask me how many times ive rewatched The cutscene just to watch the way his garments shift around as he moves at the beginning its...........

iiii dont think im gonna comment on the WQs yet? since its bit of a spoilery territory and im far from done w all of them but ive really liked the ones ive done so far!!! And hmm what else

OH THE REPUTATIONS. So first RIP weekly bounties and requests past max reputation for 150k weekly free mora that was such an unnecessary change hoyo what the fuck.

BUT. i have to say. Absolutely LOVE how the reputations are now distributed among the tribes and how much more lived in the entire nation feels compared to p much. ANY previous one by having multiple settlements and communities that all get their own quests and narratives like. yes its a natlan thing bc it has the 6 tribes but i RLY wish theyll keep some version of this system for snezhnaya too bc like. Especially with the story quest incorporation into the tribal chronicles chain its just??? Such an organic way to tie a playable character INTO their environment and community in a way thats been a major failing in a lot of older SQs before like its just. genius

anyway point being. just Imagine playable tonia happening except theres also some sort of morepesok reputation questline and system like??? Actually featuring the village and its people AND childes entire family fr fr in their own storyline in a voiced capacity?? Please itd be so good 😭😭😭😭

but yeah i love the tribal chronicles approach so much its like the perfect marriage between world quests and story quests and reputation like chef kiss truly. and also new bounty and request QoL is great.

Also no spoilers but man doing the first parts of the scions of the canopy quest.... yeah i was in fucking tears . If you know you know.

aaaand i think thats it for now ??? Overall been having a great time, not pulling for anyone in 5.0 on my main, maybe kinich on my alt but cant guarantee him there . i think ill get xilonen and then mavuika for sure bc obvious archon (unless shes an on fielder HSJSKSOEKDIEI) but the big lookout is still chioris rerun lmao. xilonen and her at the same time would be ideal thanks xx

hope its been fun for yall too o777

[iceglade]

wuk lamat could only have ever been a trans catgirl btw

1.4k words (sorry), dawntrail level 100 spoilers:

thats like the whole point when the dawntrail final arc antagonists are examinations/deconstructions the traditional gender roles. btw.

consider where mamook is in the story. consider who gulool ja ja is to tural.

ive been workshopping an essay about how a few of dawntrail's themes are connected, i think theres an in depth conversation that can be had...

95-100 cannot be separated from the cultural context that came before it , regarding the spirituality of Living Memory, sure, but also regarding legacy and filling the legendary gulool ja ja's shoes™ with mamook being where it is as the lid on a jar that was being filled the entire time to complete a jar mini ecosystem before we crack it open 30 years later in heritage found to see whats grown inside.

dawntrail doesnt go into sexism but it does go into racism, it does go into the psyche of the people who IN REAL WORLD TERMS want rich white men to be the ruling class and the people who arent traditional men who still support that concept. its all connected

like the WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THE GAME WAS ABOUT THE SECOND HALF OF THE GAME AND VICE VERSA GO BACK AND REPLAY THE FIRST PART PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. you NEED to learn about your culture and your traditions and your history and you NEED to embrace change and growth and outsider perspectives DO NOT TOSS ONE OUT FOR THE OTHER. THEY NEED TO WORK TOGETHER TO FILL THE IDEAL, REAL OR NOT, THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO FUFILL.

MAMOOK LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON ME and the solution presented was learn about one another. understand one another. know their problems. offer and accept help from outside perspectives and grow. which while neither perfect nor fully realized is a lot more than ive ever seen a video game do ever lol. history of war, lack of sunlight, difficulty with getting food, self inflicted self perpetuating community trauma, shunning outsiders, clinging to a status quo so toxic that its actively killing both adults and children - all of these are deeply, undeniably connected.

so.

i grew up in the south.. y'all know how it is!! in some places its BAD down here!!

BUILDING FROM THAT,

IMAGINE YOU LEARNED ALL THOSE LESSONS.

heritage found says okay, we did that. we listened to each other, we learned. we improved. and we did not force this growth upon anyone who didnt want it. we DIDNT abandon our culture or tradition. and STILL our problems persist!! people still die and to keep them alive we have to remember them but it hurts. it still hurts to mourn them. we are still haunted by our past and the burdens we inherited

THIS PLOT IS SOOOO STEEPED IN REAL WORLD CULTURAL PHENOMENON. BTW. THE SENSITIVITY READERS ARE OWED A CUT OUT OF EVERY DOLLAR SQUENIX GETS OFF OF THIS FOR THE REST OF TIME. AAGHH

CAUSE THIS COULDVE BEEN SO BAAADDDD , AND INSTEAD, I LOVVEEEED IT

idk...!!!!! i love living memory as an escalation of the idea that if they're remembered they never really die, but it hurts to remember. (GO BACK AND HANG OUT WITH THE YOK HUY RIGHT NOWWW) this is something real world people live by. was talking abt this with some friends and one of them mentioned living memory's color scheme "being the same orange being associated with ofrendas" in the same conversation where we were just. absorbing how deeply horrifying uploading your loved ones' memory to the cloud os (the wording used was, "the excision of memories of the dead"). one youtube comment said its like playing records of the dead and imagining they're alive again. i am haunted by erenville and graha - "i dont wish they were here again, i just wish they never died"

living memory is "if they're remembered they never really die" twisted to its illogical extreme.

the weight of that spirituality is no mistake. and shutting it down because is SUCH an ethically devastating thing to have to do even on top of your friends' parents passing on and you thinking the place was idk pretty or something (cause it rlly was) what the fuck what the fuuck

theres so much in this expansion about learning about and respecting other cultures and offering aid when its hurting others and themselves

which like makes me nervous for the patch quests btw because we need to talk about, that, vs , this is how we honor our dead

we had to shut it down because it was an active threat and was going to go nuclear but that was how they honored their dead

but i do trust this story. so i look forward to it.

all this to say i think it would be a misstep to have us go "hey dont do the soul thing do this instead". just as much as it would have been a HUGE misstep to have us be the protagonist of this expansion instead of lamat'yi.

AND FOR THE RECORD WUK HAD TO BE THE PROTAGONIST OF DAWNTRAIL FOR THIS REASON. I STAND BY THAT.

fuuuck, flaws and all, i love this game.

i have more to say about sphene and zoraal ja hold on this is all relevant to the original premise trust me.

SO YEAH.

but yeah its no surprise that

1. sphene, a traditionally feminine uwu perfect angel princess queen of REASON

2. (erenville voice) Zoraal Ja, The Warmongerer, Mine Is The Power Mine Is The Path, I Must Surpass My Man-The-Textbooks-Teach-About Father burnt out gifted oldest child king of RESOLVE

are DIRECTLY IN OPPOSITION to

1. wuk lamat, catgirl naruto young and dumb shonen protagonist with a big heart and an open mind warrior princess vow of RESOLVE

2. and koana, emotionally reserved well-studied STEM club vp advanced placement poly catboy vow of REASON

there are people who do not fit the stereotype who are suffering trying to achieve it who want it to end, and then there are people who Double Down.

regarding everyone who lives in tuliyollal and the extremely diverse area of tural, it cannot be stressed enough how Gulool Ja Ja is the guy they write the textbooks about. he is the perfect adventurer who traveled the world and united the people. in the context of the story he is the man on the cover of the fantasy novel ripped shirt rippling abs two swords and all. imagine being his gifted full of potential son ON TOP OF how insane being an oldest child makes you PLUS The War thats why zoraal ja is like that.

i love love love sphene. sphene is using zoraal ja. shes based off of the ideal of the sweet beloved disney princess/queen. she was using his agency like a weapon and her lack of agency as a shield and when he turned against her own people , which he said very clearly that he would do, wuk tells her that she needs to actually help the people she loves and do what she can do, and she interprets that from there - it just so happens that "true to herself" puts her in direct opposition to the person who was encouraging her to be that way.

for the homestuck fans shes a muse and hes a lord IM BEGGING YOU DONT CLICK OUT PLEASE LET ME FINISH MY SENTA

WUK AND KOANA WILL NOT FILL THE SHOES OF THE IDEAL MAN LEADER IN THE EYES OF THOSE WHO WANT A MORE TRADITIONAL LEADER UNTIL THEY MARCH UPON THEIR CASTLE AND STRIKE THEM DOWN WITH THE SAME HATRED THAT THEY STRUCK THE PAST GENERATION DOWN, zoraal ja says, in no uncertain terms

and zoraal ja is wrong.

they repel the second attack on tuliyollal because they ask for help. wuk DOES get a good hit on zoraal ja in heritage found. and zoraal ja throws away the ultimatum he himself delivered by throwing away his army, kidnapping his son, overdosing on aether, and leaving the moment its clear that brute force is not going to take wuk lamat's community away from her.

and sphene cant use him as an excuse anymore.

sphene was programmed to do ANYTHING to accomplish an infinitely increasingly difficult goal. she who cursed me with this soft and powerless nature. my desire to protect my people transcends all others. is there no way to make peace with tuliyollal? if it were you, could you have found a better way? i cant bear to lose them - not again!

there will only ever be more dead, forever.

i rlly want to go into that but its a completely separate topic for another time i just.. love these characters. i love what theyve done with this place.

but no parts 1 and 2 are the same part. dont discard tradition, dont reject innovation. wuk lamat put it best

@ bakool ja ja

@ sphene

what do YOU want? beyond the stereotype your community wanted you to fill?

[rathayibacter]

Ask meme: Death, The Tower Reversed, Nine of Swords

[ask game here]

going off the beaten path, nice! ill try and do em justice lol

Death: Talk about an idea you’d love to make that no-one would expect from you.

this ones real tricky cuz i feel like my output is really eclectic. ive got some weird ideas in the books (like a collection of parallel-history card games, or a game-riddle that you can only play twice) but i dont know how many of them would be surprising coming from me, yknow? maybe the zine about how to run a Tarrasque would, given my noted.... disdain for dnd, but that wouldnt even really be about dnd yknow?

The Tower: Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned. Reversed: Talk about a game you were surprised didn't crash and burn.

ill do both of these! i had a game years back (pretty sure inspired by a Prokopetz post) called Party Planners, where youre a high-level adventuring party who spends more of their time throwing galas and managing your reputation as heroes and adventurers than you do actually saving the world. the idea was you had to meticulously schedule everything with a diegetic calendar, so you could make sure to attend all your rivals' events, set up your own, and fit in some adventuring on the side. new dungeons would pop up periodically and everyone would scramble to explore them first for the best loot and biggest bragging rights, but can you afford to do that when the same weekend youve gotta accept an honorary diploma from the wizard school? sadly the concept never got anywhere past "god thatd be really funny" despite trying to make little prototypes several times. i did wind up using a pared-down version of the calendar mechanic in Unskilled Labor though, so thats neat!

and for the flipside, BXLLET! i think ive told this story before, but i had BXLLET 95% done on my hard drive for three months before i finished and released it, because for some reason i was really struggling to get it to a place i was happy with and didnt wanna look at it. if it werent for my friends' passion about it, i dont know that i would have released it at all! which is such a weird thought now that its undeniably my most successful game, lmao. just goes to show, perfectionism's the enemy! reject its vile promises and put yourself out there, flawed and vulnerable, and let the chips fall where they may!

and hmm. nine of swords is usually associated with doubts and anxiety, which i kinda covered in the tower reversed, so lets take a slightly different spin on it

Nine of Swords: What's something you don't think you'll ever master, or that you struggle with every time?

working on large, long-term projects is definitely a struggle for me. ive been getting better at it, im happy with how KATABASIS is coming along even if i wish i could put out releases faster, but i definitely long to be one of those folks who can disappear for a few months and come back with 300 pages yknow? as it is i tend to juggle a couple projects at once, and then switch between them as the mood strikes or as i get blocked on something, and that helps me get things done but doesnt really lend itself to working on A Magnum Opus yknow

on a much more minor note, i wanna get better at worldbuilding around food. i cook! a lot! im pretty good at it! and yet for some reason whenever i sit down to write about food it doesnt come out right lmao

[lesboylycan]

rpp (schizotaxic) was my favorite blogger and i remember back when they were running people repost their posts w/o permission and also spread misinfo or false attributions, even now in the schizoid schizotypal tags u see ppl who uses the "schizotaxic" label constantly attributes it to paul meehl w/o ever mentioning rpp themselves (paul meehl did coined the original word but the updated definition that includes the four specific disorders and the explanations of the mechanisms r from rpp specifically, and its the ones rpp wrote that ppl r spreading on tumblr. paul meehls og definition only defined schizotaxia as the now disproven concept of a "gene" that causes schizophrenia and not all the stuff em wrote for their own model)

i remember when rpp corrected ppl for issues like that 2 prevent the spread of misinfo ppl would reply sarcastically 2 them and there was also problems of harassment and stalking w/ them w/ ppl shaming them 4 being weird and paranoid..... on the weird and paranoid disease blog ofc

2 this day it looks like some ppl who still post w/ the "schizotaxic" label refuse to acknowledge rpp at all and i suspect its either because ppl want 2 look like "real researchers" by attributing a famous psychologist like meehl (while posting content obviously regurgitated from ems writings) or bcuz rpps public breakdowns shoot their reputation in the foot and now nobody wants to be associated w/ the schizo who makes the other schizos look bad

considering rpp became so hard 2 talk 2 was worsened by ppl harassing them and the fact they didnt have any friends makes the way theyre still treated now so ironic and rly left a bad taste in my mouth in the schizoid schizotypal community of tumblr tbh, even when they shortly returned and asked ppl 2 stop reposting their writings so they could update old info nobody ever respected their wishes

anyway i dont mean 2 say this 2 sound traumadumping its just nobody ever talked abt what actually happened online and bcuz em never had any friends nobody ever rly defended them or explained the situation so im just happy 2 see at least 1 person who can actually acknowledge the work they put into the community. we werent close in a personal way and they were always standoffish but i respected their work and they were always attentive to my questions

they were always so nice and compassionate that ik a reason why ppl never realized they were being harassed was bcuz they never wanted to publicize the drama they were receiving and i think only a few people who kept track of their personal blog before their suicide even noticed, w/ the majority of those acquiantances apparently ghosting them shortly b4 bcuz they were rly disorganized and incoherent b4 they nuked everything and was just hard 2 talk 2 consistently

its honestly been a sour point 4 me 4 a few years now that absolutely nobody ever even wants to say their name while regurgitating the things they wrote and pretending they came up w/ it themselves, especially as an old follower of rpp who saw some of these bloggers snarking them to their face back in the day. ik rpp avoiding escalating drama is a reason why alot of ppl especially newcomers who read uncredited rewrites of their posts but never saw the original @schizotaxicblog r unfamiliar w/ what happened 2 them and i respect how they chose 2 avoid picking fights w/ others as much as possible but 2 this day it still upsets me deeply that somebody who helped me 2 the point where i would say they changed my life is left 2 just be remembered as a paranoid depressing weirdo while other ppl take credit for their insights. ik since nobody else will or may even be able 2, i just wanted 2 at least put an explanation of what went down w/ them out there 2 somebody who i think would at lrast care. it means alot 2 me 2 see even 1 person whos able 2 say a single nice thing abt them, so thank u.

Ah, thank you for the explanation! That definitely puts some things into perspective, yeah. It's awful how people treated them.

Their work was extremely influential for us in figuring out what was going on and in finding the words to describe what was happening in our brain; I think if we hadn't found them, we'd still be years behind where we are now. They deserved so much better. We'd go back every now and again to find old things they'd talked about especially while discovering our own shit, and their writings were invaluable, especially as someone who tends to struggle with parsing writing in general, and especially the jargon most commonly used in research. It sucks that they aren't recognized for the good they did and that their contributions are shared, but their name is brushed to the side in the process.

Thank you for sending!

[silvr-skreen]

im. i had to make all these damn transparent pngs

anyways some of these can't accurately be described and got left out sorry, sometimes the pink indicates a QPR

Specific notes under cut bc there's a lot of them:

Jason and Kaddie (club president) are both cryptids who claimed BBHQ as their home turf (and despite sharing bc they dont wanna piss off craig who they both respect) they hate either other and want to kill each other. and have TRIED to kill each other

Chip and Kaddie QPR. Chip's aroace to me but he'd happily hold hir hand. Kaddie just likes the attention.

Pepper (mint supervisor) is like the CFO's teenage daughter by association. He respects her and she's like a familial figure to him. Cathal is his son and he and the VP are like divorced ish? They're on cordial ENOUGH terms but it's a sore spot for them both.

Barry and Mary are both fish monster things and they're not like. This one is hard to describe but it's a species specific thing. They're not exclusive though, but it's pretty frequent to see them just fucking sitting in water and hanging out/looking at stuff down there. (By association they fucking hate Will and Des. Sorry guys you cant throw that shit in the ocean.)

Misty and Courtney are so mean to each other and FOR WHAT. They have no reason for this. (My interp of Misty is slightly mean bc she's woobified sometimes) so she just. thinks Courtney is stupid (for something Courtney didnt even fuckin do. It was Barry's fault and got resolved anyways.

Prester is Atticus's uncle (Sads is Prester's son i couldnt fit him or the satellites) and Winston is his cousin on the other side. Prester doesn't like the vampire bros bc of the dumbest reason ever. Thus Misty hates HIM. (she's a distant relative of theirs. so distant i didnt include it.)

Yes Saul (butch lesbian saul For the win) knows Flint. Yes that is every bit as terrible a friendship as it sounds. Went out with a bang and lots of hysterical crying on both ends. Neither will admit it.

Because I couldnt fit the satellites I cant include the absolute HATRED Erclaim and Styx have for one another. Erclaim's father thought Styx's mom was a very pretty lady and she reciprocated and Styx is an affair baby is what im getting at (Both sets of parents were married btw) and Erclaim blames Styx for fucking up his family. Erfit thinks Styx is alright though. His baby brother needs to chill the FUCK out.

Atticus is the guy who seems really nice but is secretly wishing everyone's heads would explode and they'd die 1000000000000000 painful deaths (he survived in our au but he was very mentally unwell as a result of the trauma of almost dying and watching what happened to clancy)

Half of William's enemies either don't know he thinks of them that way or don't care. Desmond however actually respects him a lot and tries REALLY HARD to get William to like him but Will's a hater.

Another sad fact that comes from no satellites is the fact I can't show the links between them and the Head Attorney but they're all family. Actual relatives those 5 (and related to the HA to boot lol) hydra develops crushes on anyone who can crush THEM. token allo.

[deadoveater]

they don't even have to call Khelif or Lin male, or focus on them, what is needed here is to tell IOC - you have been given an information that there are males competing in women's boxing, there is an urgent need have clearly defined guidelines and testing done to keep female sports female. idk what it is, they have a few top radblr bloggers and a few mutuals whose posts they read and base their opinion on, other than that, no need to look anything up or look into the notes if someone's saying something else. Some of the basic olympic knowledge also gets lost on them

they didnt have to even speak about this if they had no idea what is going on or have any interest. like Im the last person whos gonna go "why isn't anyone talking about this???" because I get it its exhausting to pay attention to so many horrible things happening to women constantly. but to straight up saying conspiratorial shit like "it's the russians" or one of my faves "reduxx might be a psyop to make radfems racist or homophobic" is mindblowing. they had to just wait for couple of days for the official statements tho even now most of them haven't even read those so it's not even jumping the gun atp. one of them even admitted to not knowing rules for intersex athletes like then stfu????

also its always the usual suspects you'll find spreading this kinda misinfo too. their word is taken as gospel because ??? so Ig to hell with what people who don't base their opinions on what they read on an unprofitable website for socially inept morons and know what theyre talking about. ntm I highly suspect that this wouldve happened if khelif and lin were white. its incrediblely direspectful to both white women AND woc. Im not one to believe delusional shit but seeing how I have yet to see anyone defending khelif and lin bring up any valid argument other than their race Im just believing theyre only going so hard for them because its the american tendency to make everything about race. they dont realize how more horrible ioc not having proper eligibility criteria could prove in the future to all women.

a lot or the defenses fall extremely flat on the face when you start applying basic logic or start reading how people involved on khelifs side have handled this decision. like his father has no issue flashing his birth certificate to the world but somehow people saying why khelif wouldn't release the test results to prove everyone wrong are going too far because thats their personal info. like lol, lmao even. and saying iba is corrupt... like these people really dont know shit. all sports associations and federations are corrupt, doesnt matter if theyre national or international, govt bodies or not. theyd puke if they saw the shit wfi has put indian female wrestlers thru theyd puke.

at the end of the day this is social media platform and majority of the people on here are always gonna be morons but I really wish theyd at least stop pretending like they care about women.

[raisinchallah]

the contructions in my mind are so funny im like i can only be attracted to someone if i construct a fake version of them in my mind that is attracted to me because its more fun to pretend its not a one sided awkwardness and intrusion on my part but also if i get any indication they reciprocate for real or simply find out someone might be into me i feel like a frightened cornered animal and need to die change my name and enter witness protection but its like ok well why am i experiencing the various emotions beforehand i think ultimately i should simply perceive and understand myself as aroace as the experiences associated with sex and romance simply are interesting in theory but when indulged in are sickening and frightening or even if nice in some capacity leave me feeling ill like nice in the sense eating sweets can be nice but leaves you feeling sick and like u will simply throw up very easily that these are theoretical constructions and not enjoyable in actuality but it would be nice if i was simply existing in the reality of someone devoid of those feelings to begin with so i would not attempt to open the door and get hit in the face like door labeled door that hits you in the face and im like hm i wonder what this door will do i should open this because everyone else does this and i wish to be a normal person but their doors dont say door that hits you in the face they can walk thru it but i have the insatiable curiosity that perhaps this time once it will not hit me in the face because it didnt hit me in the face when i was 15 so it feels perhaps like something is lost to me that i once had but you know time changes you irreparably and i shall simply never get that back i think because the complex variables that would all need to align are 1 in a million anyways if nobody gets me nagata kabi and my lesbian experience with loneliness gets meeee

[tinybed]

Tiny Bed, if some clique girl has decided she doesn’t like you because you’re not “girly enough” to, say, get your buccal fat removed to be on trend or wear the kind of perfume that’s so overly sweet it makes people sick when they get too close to you, that’s a Good thing. So what if you don’t like Lana Del Ray? You are your own individual person and YOU get to decide what you do and don’t like. Other people shouldn’t have any say in it. If you want to be “girly” then whatever you like is just that, by your own standards that you choose. Societal standards are only meant to box us into submission! Collect bugs if you want to! Also a lot of those clique types end up trad or terfs or being controlling and. I didn’t think you wanted to be that way anyway. Better to not associate with them now than lose the “friendship” later over something extreme or end up One of Them, right?

— Warning ⚠️ My response to this anon goes kind of off on a tangent and i wrote a lot, so im sorry lol —

i understand exactly what you’re saying even though this is written a bit colorfully and stretchy. the message of what youre saying absolutely shines through and i appreciate it a lot. at the same time, i dont want anyone to think i have anything against ppl who enjoy listening to lana del rey and use perfume, its more that…. i wish i was more like that in a sense, i think its pretty and feminine and kind of charming. and i feel very mixed emotions about it because i’ve always been very “tomboy” and i know a lot of what society says gender expression is is determined by ppl who want to sell things to you, but im also one of those ppl who was indoctrinated by that. when i was growing up in the early 2000s, there was a huge marketing campaign built around selling femininity to children using TVshows and commercials (i remember i watched a video about it that had a lot of books as sources that i want to read actually) and like. yeah i saw all of that for sure, but i’ve also grown up a pretty neglected child and even tho i didnt want to wear skirts, at some point i did want to explore femininity but couldnt… so i actually feel like i desire to be more traditional feminine but couldnt ykwim? i couldnt even be clean and presentable at the very least. so i think whenever i dont fit in with “traditionally” feminine girls, it bothers me …… im so happy u said that tho about like. whatever you like is feminine like i can catch bugs if i want to… i just wish it didnt change how OTHER ppl look at me sometimes 😿 this is extremely kind of you to send, thank you..

[pompadourpink]

hi maman, i hope you are well! i just came back from france a while ago and i've been having some grown up™ thoughts. i'm 20, and graduating in a year. i wish i had more time, but i need to get on with my life very soon.

until i can pursue my real goal in 2025 (that's when an exam i need to take for a certain career opens up), i have to find something to do in the meantime: work for an international company as a climate analyst in the EU, or go to grad school... again, in the EU. i specify this because that's what all my french is for––leaving the states. i don't even know WHERE yet, belgium felt miserable with all the dutch and i didnt actually LOVE the parts of france i did see (which means maybe i would like normandy, or far south with all that water, but so far idk!)

i hadn't even been abroad before, and i learned how lonely it was. but coming home was lonely too, and i realized that i have to start a new life no matter what in a year's time when i have to move out of this house, and i dont know where to go looking for my next step. i'm scared because i have no confidants, and these are realizations ive come to in the past like... two months.

i like reading your asks because you have so much insight, so... if you have any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Hello dear,

I hope I'm on time for this one but my advice is to start working. Not only because it seems to me that a routine would be a relief at the moment (you will spend most of your life working: learning how it works, how to navigate colleagues, bosses, micro-management, a life/work balance, etc., is immensely useful) but also because professional experience can be more valuable than degrees, especially if you get a network out of it (most job offers never make it to the public, everyone hires from the inside).

2025 is far away, and then you still need to take the exam and get hired. You have all the time in the world to research francophone countries, take a Monday off and spend three days exploring new cities here and there, learn about new cultures. The reality is that adulthood is often lonely and I hear grown people regularly complain that they don't have friends and that it's harder to make new ones after you graduate.

Listen to your gut and think. Ask yourself why you didn't like those places, what was wrong - if something was actually wrong, or if you just felt like crap and associated it with your environment. I am of the opinion that friends will find their way to us if we frequent the right places, so there's always hope for a better life if you take a risk, but if you stay behind because you're scared, there will be nothing but regret.

Love,

Mum

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami anon x5 YEAH FOR REAL to everything….. The way Majima treats his men is very. Hrm. I saw a good essay about it before regarding how Majima after going through the abuse he's faced only Knows / understands how to project that same sentiment with the most obvious example being Nishida who has almost like a looney tunes esque dynamic with him. And how that later goes on to talk about Majima associating Minami who is extremely clearly trying to emulate him with Sagawa + Shimano which led to like the disconnect in their relationship. Idk if ive tldlred that very well but yeah. It was very Majima centric though which makes me wish it talked abt more how Minami views the situation because again I do very much think it’s just a case of Minami wanted to do Somebody and he ultra latched onto the first person he saw that was That. Very like duckling following the leader. He most likely has no idea what the hell baggage Majima has and just continues viewing this act he's put on in such a glamourised revered light. The Cycle Of hell continues and continues forever. I feel like you could even make an argument Abt the like never wanting to accept defeat thing as another emulation of Majima who like very famously Just Keeps Trucking Along and Never Lets Up. Also so real about the tidbit abt the junior leader like it really just feels like something they made up out of the blue but it’s fine it’s just his now……. I agree that Minami very much does not give me like patriarch vibes I feel like nothing about him screams a person who wants to *the* most important- Its why I word it as like Minami wants to be SOMEBODY, but not the somebody who has all of the responsibilities and the stress that comes with being in the super hardcore major leagues- again, going back, a very sort of Immature or Young person kind of attitude to have. Also okay I thought it was both kinda hilarious and sad How the guys in the karaoke scene didnt want to be there 😭😭😭 really just feels like they were Dragged along because “why not” / because Minami is seemingly more carefree about things. I'd love to see him interact w just like the normal ppl of kamurocho or if he like worked at the construction site with his fellow coworkers like are they immediately put off or find him annoyingly pleasant enough. Idk if i have anythin to say abt it but i also LOVE ur tags and the idea of Minami putting himself through hell willingly to be as strong as majima garghghgghghg….. also its okay if ur actually sick for real like w a cold I hope u get better soon !!! Ironically i also have a minor cold so JWJJDJDEJ

we are so back......... you and me anon... we are both sick in the exact same ways (brainrot included)

I looooove the terrible recycling dynamic of abuse from Majima to his men and that sounds really evil but i mean like. its an extremely interesting and Real Thing to portray (completely on accident!) and explore. and i can't even act like i'd be better if i were him sometimes. i know damn well his boys are incompetent (everyone on earth is) and/or pains in the ass (definitely Aratani, probably Minami, but he dont mean it) and physical violence is part of their way of life in this fictionalised mega-gang. in a twisted way violence is more than just that, it's the solution to everything, it's the crux of everything, it's care for those who need to be able to stick up for themselves to survive and it's also a burden by way of Fighting Game Protagonist Syndrome. at the end of the day the abuse is still abuse, but you see some interesting perspectives with this kind of framework in that world..... including folks who'd enthusiastically participate in the looney-tunes Slapsticked role, like my take on Minami. Nishida too, but i don't think he's enthusiastic, just begrudgingly accepting of things...

i know the EXACT post youre talking about and i completely understand being Majima-focused in these kinds of rants cause he's the one with all the interesting shit going on and yknow. canonical character depth...... i try my best to not get sidetracked but Majima intrigues me as much as the people around him.... they made him and his relationships both fun and fascinating. to keep it Minami ways you'd probably be saying some real no-shit-sherlock shit "wow that's so tragic for him" or you'd get into HC and made up shit territory, like me ^_^ teehee

Speaking of Aratani, i think he's a good example of someone who actually wants the patriarch seat. the pursuit of power is like his whole deal. Gets considerable focus and text(dialogue) acknowledgement. Minami's whole deal is being goofy, he just also so happens to have considerable power both physically and in the yakuza hierarchy..... bullshit as his role may very well be......... and it's only barely noticed. the pros of being a joke i spose. he's treated, and acts, too nonchalant to give me the impression of gunning for the top. with the existence of other Majimagumi men like Aratani to compare, that just exasperates it for me. he wants to be cool, and that's all

and yknow what..... the fun thing is...... is that Majima gets stories told about him. they get told all over. so much so that resident under-rock-dweller Kiryu hears about them. Minami doesn't know shit from fuck about his boss but i bet he eats those stories the fuck up. true or not, Majima's prowess speaks volumes on it's own... he's the Boss for a Reason..... stories get told about people who Matter. he'd totally be all over that. Wanna Be Somebodyism is terminal and it's got him by the balls. too bad he's not destined to be anybody more than a side character in this series!

oh well..... that's what i'm here for. side characters come get your heads smacked hands kissed and existence acknowledged, possibly all three if you're silly enough