#feels good to return to shitposting occasionally

[irithyllians]

is this not them?

[thatswhatsushesaid]

tagged (kinda) by @mingguangsword!

i lost my first draft of this post 😭 let's try again.

1. why did you choose your url? because i am weak for puns, and because i am actually su she. weepy yet defensive lestat de lioncourt at the end of s2 voice, i am him, he is me.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. a whole whack of them:

@dailyayao which is just daily screenshots and scans of jin guangyao from all versions of the mdzs canon

@yaozongzhupressoffice my neglected satire blog where i answer asks and reblog stuff in-character as yao-zongzhu. occasionally will make references to his entirely heterosexual feelings for his very good friend ouyang-zongzhu in the tags.

@itwasabeautifulwebbing my minthara baenre from baldur's gate 3 simping blog lol. it's also turning into a catch-all for various video game nonsense, tho i'm definitely not as active there as i am here.

@fakerashid same deal as above, just for armand from amc's interview with the vampire.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i first joined back in 2011 with a different username back in the migration of the dragon age fandom from livejournal to tumblr, and have been kicking around in some form or another ever since.

4. do you have a queue tag? sure do! 'moling queue' because, as i said, i'm weak for puns.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? originally this blog had a different username, and i started it with the intention of cross-posting very serious horror fiction thinkpieces from a wordpress site. obviously i stopped doing that and have been enjoying myself a lot more here since i stopped taking myself so seriously lmao.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? i don't understand the question, that's literally me, su-zongzhu. (please god recognize this is a joke)

7. why did you choose your header? i just think jgy and sms look very powerful and dapper together in that scene. 😌

8. what’s your post with the most notes? some unfortunate ides of march shitpost that broke containment within an hour, i have it muted and hope to never think about it again.

9. how many mutuals do you have? no idea. lots? lots and lots?

10. how many followers do you have? 1271 as of this morning.

11. how many people do you follow? apparently 400 on the nose

12. have you ever made a shitpost? absolutely not, i don't have a sense of humour or believe in laughter.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? every time my attention wanders pretty much lmfao (despondent)

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? never!!!! 😬

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i ignore them.

16. do you like tag games? yes!

17. do you like ask games? "i love them, but i don't like chain asks" <- same hat

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? "probably ray" <- oh no oh dear 😬 i think if i qualify as tumblr famous (doubt.jpeg) then probably a bunch of my mutuals are, too.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? i am boring and married so no.

20. what is the last song you listened to? this performance of the famous "flowing water" composition for the guqin.

21. what are you currently watching? nirvana in fire, and it's consumed my soul. mei changsu 👀...... /clenches my fist

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? "savory"! <- correct!!!

23. what is your current relationship status? "literally on my way to break up with someone T_T i'll be single in a few hours!!!" <- omg fennel!!??? um, as i said above, i'm married! no plans to divorce mr. sushesaid, he surprised me with flowers and takeout from my favourite indian restaurant yesterday because i was having a rough day.

24. what is your current obsession? jin guangyao. it's still jin guangyao. it's probably going to be jin guangyao this time next year too.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

it's not an album, but basically all of the ensemble and solo performances by zi de guqin studio on youtube.

return to cookie mountain, tv on the radio

the wellermen's album of shanties and other arranged covers

the hades 2 videogame soundtrack

the baldur's gate 3 videogame soundtrack

the chain, fleetwood mac

all of the lyrical ballads from the kentucky route zero videogame soundtrack (are u noticing a pattern, because i am)

the haven videogame soundtrack

the assassin's creed valhalla videogame soundtrack

tagging: @ratheralark @holy--milk @carnivorous-horses-lover @sunriseverse @watertightvines @frodo-of-the-nine-fingers @confusion-and-more @occasionalinanity @varethinsilico @thepurplewombat @peacocksdance and anyone else who puts eyes on this thing and feels moved to complete it.

[pettyeti]

vrai lore (kinda).

unscripted. this is mostly a joke, but there are some serious bits.

i will preface this by saying he changes a lot after meeting Etienne, so take this as Before Eti Era (B.E.E)

real lore page coming soon. for now take this shitpost.

Name: Asmodeus. Real name is Vrai. Do not call him by his real name otherwise he will k*ll you. Vrai does not remember his last name.

Age: OLD. Too old tbh (935 years old). Don't call him old otherwise he will k*ll you. He was 37 when he became a voidsent.

I don't know when the Flood of Darkness happened. I bend canon and say that it occured 1000~ years before canon.

Gender: Cisgender man.

Sexuality: GAY.

Personality: Very charming and suave. Will call you "my dear" and "my girl" like Howl (you know what scene I am referring to.) Makes you feel like you're the most important person in the room.

Unfortunately, this is just a front. Vrai holds no love for mortals and throws people away when they stop being interesting to him. Vrai is very selfish. Vrai does not care about you. Vrai wants you to suffer because it is interesting to him. He will just be very polite while he watches you die.

Secretly, Vrai longs for the bygone days before he became a voidsent. He misses the sun on his face. He misses the love he once felt. He misses adventuring. He looks at the heroes of other worlds who have not lost their souls to the darkness with extreme intrigue and extreme jealousy.

Vibe: The vibes that emanate from this dude are MAD rancid.

Smell: Oh he smells so good. Like a moonlit path in the forest. Like old books in a well loved library. He also has a bit of a rosy scent when you get close.

Wisdom: 100000/10. Extremely smart. He is a walking encyclopedia. Knows a bit about everything, but has special interests in astronomy, aetherology, and biology.

Job?: This binch unemployed!!

Um? Where does he live??: He has a giant castle on the Thirteenth. It's located on the northern continent so it's cold as fuck! Vrai sits on a throne usually because he is melodramatic. Much like Zero's place, Vrai's castle serves as a domain for weaker voidsent who have pledged their loyalty to him. In return for keeping his castle pretty, Vrai protects them.... kinda.

What does he do all day?: Vrai lounges in his castle and watches people on the Source using a magic mirror he crafted himself. Vrai's been watching heroes and other interesting people for centuries, occasionally going to the Source himself to spook people. When he's bored, he'll spark conflicts. Think Eris and the Trojan War.

Likes: Reading. CHAOS. Collecting books, rare crystals, and other expensive junk. Intelligent people. Wine (hates all other alcohols.) Fighting. Learning about new topics.

Dislikes: Liars. Being outsmarted. Cockroaches. Weak willed people. Being reminded that he was once mortal.

Parents: Vrai had two moms. One was a witch who had a keen interest in herbs and horticulture. The other was a shepherd who liked her solitude and lived in the mountains. They did not survive the Flood. Vrai loved them very much and had a good childhood <3

Combat: Expert caster. Uses a scythe to channel devastating black magic. The scythe isn't just for show either.

What about G*lbez?: Vrai doesn't fuck with Golbez and Golbez doesn't fuck with Vrai. It's an uneasy cold war situation going on between them because Vrai don't care Golbez's plan. He's here for a good time.

Golbez doesn't fuck with him because it would be a waste of time and resources. Golbez is stronger than Vrai and would win in a fight if it came down to it, but it wouldn't be worth it because Vrai would destroy everything Golbez has worked for before kicking the bucket. Still, Vrai let's Golbez do his thing because uhhh. He don't give a fuck. Just leave him alone and let him play with his heroes and they'll be Gucci.

[elshells]

Hello! Ella here, it's nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping by.

I joined Tumblr in 2021, started sharing stories online in 2018, and I've been writing for fun for even longer than that! Science fiction is my usual jam, but I also dabble in fantasy, horror, mystery, and thriller. I'm always looking for another good read and I'm easy to please, so if you're a reader or writer, hit me up! We'll have a lot to talk about.

When I'm not writing, I'm pretty much always looking for an excuse to info dump about my beloved WIPs, so tag games and asks in my inbox are both welcome! I can't promise a quick response every time, but I'll try my best!

Otherwise, I don't have much else to say. If you need me, I'll be quietly lurking and collecting shiny posts to add to my ever-flowing magpie nest of a blog. Oh, and I'll occasionally come out to throw a shitpost into the void. I'm rarely funny on purpose, but I've been told I've got some zingers, so if you could just clap and nod politely before moving on, that would be lovely! But in all seriousness, I hope I can make you smile!

* * *

The Lore

—‌I'm currently pursuing degrees in English creative writing and gender, sexuality, and race studies, and a minor in publishing and printing arts. So, naturally, I can be a busy gal.

—‌My absolute dream is to be a published author, but I also have aspirations to work in voice acting and community theater.

—‌I've been playing the flute for ten years, and am slowly picking up piano and guitar. I'd love to eventually learn my way around a drum set as well, if I ever find the time, money, and discipline. Maybe I'll even write my own music one day, who knows?

—‌I do competitive swimming, weightlifting, and yoga, and I rode horses for several years. Beyond that, I'm pretty much hopeless at sports. My depth perception and hand-eye coordination leave much to be desired.

—‌I used to draw a LOT, and inspiration still strikes every now and then. I haven't been that dedicated to the craft in recent years, so I've lost a lot of mojo, but I hope to one day find the confidence to share some doodles!

—‌I have a passion for animals, and I volunteered at my local zoo and aquarium for many years. I might go back one day, but for now, I work as a lifeguard and swim instructor.

—‌I make my own dice and play Dungeons & Dragons. My PFP is my tiefling bard, Enyo. If you're interested in learning more about her lore, check out this post (which features even more art and the wonderful artists I commissioned to make them)!

—‌We can be friends, as long as you're friendly and respectful. I don't tolerate any form of hate.

* * *

WIP MASTER LIST

If you enjoy a chapter, please consider letting me know by reblogging and leaving a comment! I welcome anything you have to say, so long as you're kind. Useful and constructive criticism is always encouraged if you catch something I didn't, so feel free to share your (respectful) feedback, opinions, or questions. I'm always looking to improve and I appreciate all the support I can get!

THE HARMONT HEROES SERIES —‌A fusion of science fiction and urban fantasy told through the dual POV of two sisters on opposite ends of society. This saga features mystery and intrigue, thrills and chills, and an array of LGBTQ+ characters. -BOOK ONE: Agent Ace -BOOK TWO: TBA -BOOK THREE: TBA -BOOK FOUR: TBA

EMBR OF THE EARTH (Standalone)—‌In the far, unknown future, the world is overrun by human survivors, robot scouts, and hostile, alienesque creatures that came from nowhere. A ragtag group of teens choose to leave the safety of their satellite and return to Earth, determined to discover what happened to their planet and find out if there's a way to save it. -ON INDEFINITE HIATUS -The current, unpolished draft is available on Wattpad.

ENCORE (Standalone) —‌An eighteen-year-old girl is rescued from a deserted island as the lone survivor with an unbelievable story. Twelve years later, the same girl, now a struggling musician tortured by the past, is given an opportunity to go back in time to save her friends. But with such high stakes to succeed, the price may be too much to pay. -A twist on the Final Girl trope in classic horror. -COMING TO TUMBLR SOON! Get started with the first five chapters here.

AMATEUR POETRY

Water Nymphs

Witches

Alley Cat

Sea Urchin

Homebody

Puhpowee

* * *

WHERE ELSE YOU CAN FIND ME

Wattpad: @ persephonehale

AO3: @ elshells

Instagram: @ ellanoblewrites *In the meantime, thanks for saying hi!*

[iammissingautumn]

Since some people may be moving back over do you have any good recommendations of people to follow that are active? I have not been on tumblr for almost 2 years :'D

Ive been thinking this since I posted I made my original post. Especially since a lot of people appreciate direction! I’ll speak a lot to my moots and people I follow myself since I rejoined south park recently. I also don’t read a lot of fic so this will mainly be meta/shitpost writers and artists!

@lozislaw is an amazing artist that’s i’ve been admiring since the day I opened their blog. They also do writing! All can be found in their description. Check them out :> They’re a great moot of mine. Honored to get a follow back out of this all. Very main ship core (Style, bunny, creek, etc)

@roostertuftart Hey. this is my beloved. Rooster posts a lot of really good art and half runs an ask blog on insta @/ask_the_freedom_pals_sp which I’m hoping will return from the war sooner rather than later ! Big Style lover, bigger kyle lover

@candyunicornsateme - k2 queen. literally been posting k2 for at least four years and has amazing art.

@furu242 - best McCormick siblings artist out there. they’ve also been out here a long time and i love all their art. always hits me in the McCormick feels

@lunarincubus - dude my beloved, if you’re looking for intriguing stories that fuck with the characters and give them bits of trauma. Lunar’s the mf for you. I love her art, she just just started opening asks for a mushroom au she has and i’m in love with her art and takes. She loves a lot of Kyle/Wendy!

@currrsy - great art with such an animated style. focuses on the main boys!

@bbathsalts - the art style for this stan lover feels so homely. I lovb their stuff.

@bunytime - style enjoyer with some great art

@fayoftheforest - amazing and the most based meta of all time

@erratic-brainrot - good meta, reblogs, and just fun posts occasional based af art. beloved.

@styleweek - they’re starting this up soon, participate or follow what you see when it starts up!

@real-south-park-confessions - for all the real and true takes of this fandom. rep from all sides. it could even have rep from you!

@hollow-park - south park sims extended universe for all you sims lads.

@south-park-fanart-archive - for all fanart that’s long gone due to bans, deletes, or deactivations.

and don’t follow @bitzi-bee their art is too good and they’re too based but i can’t let them have this win.

[psylunari]

About time I introduce myself

TL;DR Luna's nonsense about herself. Feel free to reblog!

If you're looking for my original posts or my fics:

The tags are #psyluna.txt (for fandom info posts, writing tips, and posts like this one it's the first but you get the idea) and #psyluna.fic (for fanfiction). #psyluna.ask is for ask games and answers. #psyluna.png is for image edits, art, and memes.

The tag for when I get fanart is #I GOT ART. Bless all the people who have ever made something for me, I would like to give you the entire planet, but I'm poor, and taking care of a planet is too much work. So all I can give you is more fanfiction.

If I translate something that's not my work, the tag is #translation I just did.

From lurker to occasional reblogger to regular shitposter to… I don't know. The sky is the limit. Nice to meet you! I created this account in 2019, together with my return to posting fanfiction. I wrote fanfiction on again, then off again, for years, since I first picked it up at the fresh age of ten.

I was never a people person, nor did life make me a public figure, thank goodness. I'm not made for the spotlight, so I didn't see a point in blogging here myself. Anyway. I wanna do it now. Buckle up.

My name: the IRL one is so lame that I won't tell you. Call me psy, luna, or psyluna, as you wish. It fits me better.

My age: I was born in 1995, just so that I don't have to update this yearly.

Pronouns: I go by she/her. Gender is a myth. So is being internet famous.

My home country: I hail from not-so-distant, not-so-unknown Brazil.

Languages I speak: English is my second language (Portuguese is my first), and as per local standards, I can speak and write in English quite well. Before you ask, I write fanfiction in Portuguese and translate later, for reasons I'll disclose if anyone asks. I had basic Spanish in school and can still read/listen to it okay, can't write/speak it anymore. Japanese is my hobby language of choice. I plan on becoming more proficient if everything goes right.

My writing: it was always my favorite way to express myself. It's how I organize my thoughts and communicate with the world. Consequently, I wrote lots and lots all my life, even if not fanfiction, just personal vents. I got better in speaking out loud as I became more confident, less self-loathing, and ran out of fucks to give.

Should you talk to me: I enjoy chatting more than I enjoy people. It's not that I don't like people… Okay, let's not lie here. People are troublesome, even myself. I'll willingly talk to people who talk to me, and even start conversations at times, but getting attached and forming bonds isn't a default expectation. That said, if you wanna talk to me, please do.

Miscellaneous: I was somewhat raised by the 2000s internet. Meaning, I was there for a lot of memes and chaos, too. I miss some things and not others.

You won't see me engage with drama and discourse a lot. I keep many personal opinions private or restricted to close friends, as one should separate personal life from public life. To be honest, no one cares much what I think (again, thank goodness). Won't ever bother putting up a DNI list.

I usually follow back. If your blog is blank (as in you don't reblog anything), I might follow back if I know who you are.

Among other artsy things I like doing: drawing (not too well), singing (okay to well), playing a few instruments (okayish), typesetting (pretty well, actually). If cooking counts, then cooking.

My fandoms: I've been obsessed with lots of things along the years. For every phase, I bookmarked lots of fanart and wrote a bit of fic. My interests come and go. They're mostly anime/animated series and video games. I'm also a “mild kpopper” and a dormant rock/metal enthusiast.

My favorite characters: too many to count. They mostly fit the “well-meaning but kind of a jerk” archetype. They don't have to be morally gray, but can be. I don't vibe with stupid characters a lot. My favorite works of fiction are a bit or very tragic. I love bishounen/bishoujo in character design. My ships are based on if I like the chemistry, not much on the characters' genders.

As for my writing strengths: I'm good at putting one word in front of another and finding mistakes. That's the gist of it. Many writers struggle with low productivity and procrastination, and that isn't my curse, fortunately. I can work with a preexisting idea and propose solutions, maybe even add a thing or two. I'm also very critical of things and quick at noticing patterns.

As for my writing weaknesses: I don't think my ideas are too innovative, and while that doesn't matter a lot in the bigger picture, it makes me a little sad. I recycle ideas and themes a lot and hope no one notices. Whenever I'm forced to create, instead of working with preexisting things, I go ughhhh. I used to joke about how I had one idea worth writing every six months. It's been different these days, and I took notes of all nice ideas I've been having, but it's pretty recent. I'm also bad with prompts I don't click with.

The rest like prose, characterization, style, etc. is up for debate, and to some degree, a matter of personal taste. I like to think I can adapt to the needs of whatever I'm writing.

Do you write original fiction? Yes! I'm just not very far into them. I won't disclose much about it, though. Not now, at least. Some are more slice-of-lifey, others are more fantasy-like.

You can find my compiled social media and writing profiles in this carrd. If you don't feel like clicking on the carrd, here are the fic sites:

Archive Of Our Own (most up-to-date, missing older works and personal vents)

Fanfiction dot net (not very up-to-date because I hate this website)

+Fiction, formerly Nyah! Fanfiction (in Portuguese only, has lots of old stuff and vents)

I have a Wattpad account with nothing posted.

I'm used to talking about myself, since nine times out of 10 I'll be brooding in the corner and people get curious. I don't know why exactly that is. Hope you could get to know me better!

[monochromemedic]

I had been stuck in the Dark World for who knows how long. The days didn’t seem to matter down here. No sun, no moon, just the vibrant green grid that coated the sky that would twitch and surge with occasional frequency.  When I first got here, I fought hard to get back to the surface, to fight for any sense of normalcy, for home but after a while the dream began to fade. The options began to run dry when compared to the dangers that surrounded me. And so I settled. I survived. I searched for food, begged for shelter from kind Darkners. I did what I had to to live. The Queen was not an option. Whispers from Darkners told me how I was just what she was looking for, that would help her expand her reign to the Light World. As much as that would probably help me, I didn’t want to ruin the lives of others for the chance to see my family, as much as I missed them with every passing minute. The sound of bustling cars and the blinding lights of neon signs stung my senses, my palms pressing into my eyes to drown out what I could. Damn it this place never slept did it? There was always something, some sort of noise. Whatever bags I had under my eyes were probably made cartoonishly drastic with the lack of pure rest I was getting. ‘Supose it was better then being dead... My body felt heavy, and I knew I’d have to find a place to rest or I’d fall asleep mid crossing of a road and get run over by one of those goofy cars I’d seen. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad... I recalled the time one of the car’s rear bumped into a fire hydrant (or at least I thought it was) and made a squeaking sound. The darkness of a certain alley called to me, the silence a sweet lullaby to the roaring around me. Was it dangerous? Oh yeah. Was it stupid? No shit. Was I going to do it? The shadows the engulfed me were perfect and if it wasn’t for the underlying stench of garbage it’d probably be ideal. Still beggars couldn’t be choosers and if tonight was good enough I would have to consider having this as my permanent sleeping spot. My back slid against the cool wall across from the dumpster, eyes half lidded as they read the advertisements littering above. Why the hell did the Queen have ads anyway, if she wanted she could monopolize any products she wanted... Despite the quiet I couldn’t shake the feeling that creeped down my spine. The presence of something other then myself around me. I tried to close my eyes, I was in the city after all. It’d be concerning if I didn’t feel like people were one second from crawling up my ass. Though I had to admit I didn’t expect to actually feel something begin to touch me. My eyes snapped open, elbow prodding into a blurry shape that yelped and tumbled backward, it’s grasp my on shoulder tearing a hole in my already worn shirt in the struggle. “Hey! What the hell?!” I barked, standing over the perpetrator. My shoulders slumped when I saw what looked to be a doll staring up at me with wide eyes, an over exaggerated smile permanently spread across it’s face. The creature’s jaw opened wider with a clack, it’s small body shooting upwards to stand on it’s small pointed feet. “WOAH WOAH WOAHAH- [Live worms]!”   The darkner’s voice was deafeningly loud, a shrill tone that cut the air like newly sharpened blades. “ I THOUGHT YOU WERE [Roadkill]. NICE TO KNOW I WON’T BE [Sleeping with the fishes] T0NIGHT!!” Well he had a certain way of speaking that was obvious. What the hell was going on with him, he talked like he was constantly being cut of random clips of other people speaking. He talked like a youtube poop or any other shitpost that would randomly shove memes into them for a quick laugh. “You thought I was dead? I was just... I was... uh.” I looked around me, eyeing the dirt and debris. “I was... going to sleep... here.”  Dammit, telling people I had to sleep in such ratty places were always a blow to the ego but I suppose it was better then saying ‘Oh I was just sitting down here to die’ The puppet shook his head and waltzed over to the dumpster, his small hand smacking the side with a sense of pride. “ [Finders keepers, losers weepers] HUMAN, YOU PICKED A GOOD SPOT. TOO BAD [so sadd] I GOT HERE FIRST. THOUGH FOR A DEAL I SUPPOSE I COULD [Share the love~]” “Got here first... what are you talking about?” The Darkner let out a laugh, distorted echoes filling the air as he leapt inside, a solitary hand popping out to beg me to come closer. This was a terrible idea, but despite my best judgement I followed, and witnessed what I could only describe to be a makeshift bed inside.  The puppet laid on top of musty mats and raggedy rugs, a single stained pillow resting just beneath his head. My god was he living in here? The creature continued his laugh, lurching only a few inches away from my face. “ [Sweet deal] ISN’T IT? J3ALOUS, [baby]?”  I shirked back, cheeks reddening at the tone of his last word. I was most defiantly not jealous, in fact I was filled with remorse, something his pride did not help with. “It’s... uh something. I guess this means I’ll have to find another alleyway um, sorry for bothering you-” “SPAMTON.” “What?” His hand shot out towards my chest, fingers wiggling for a handshake. “SP-SPA MTON G SPAMTON, [Number 1 rated salesmen 1997]” He announced, an extra flair of bravado laced his titled. His hand was surprisingly warm for what it was made of but nothing that would be described as body temperature.  “Jenna. Also 1997.” “WHAT A YEAR. LISTEN LIGHT nER, I AM DEALSMAN [yes/no?]” “Um... y-yes? I don’t-” “THEN LET ME MAKE A DEAL YEAH? FOR ONLY [many] KROMER, YOU MAY STAY IN MY [Privately owned] ALLEY. IT’S A REAL [steal] YOU’RE ROBBING ME [deaf] HERE!” My brows furrowed as I searched his face for any context clues for what the hell he was trying to say. Kromer? What the fuck was ‘kromer’? The only thing I knew of currency down here was dark dollars not kromer... even if he did ask for dark dollars he didn’t name a price, he just said many. And the amount of dark dollars I had was zero. “Uh I don’t have kromer. I don’t even have dark dollars I’m kinda broke Spamton, in case you couldn’t tell from uh...” I trailed off realizing saying that sleeping in an alley wasn’t a very smart thing to say to someone who slept in an alley.  He seemed surprised by my words, beginning to tug on my coat, flipping my pockets to see if I was really lying. I had to push his mitts off me a couple of times, to which he eventually got the idea the way his hands began to rub at his extended jaw. “NO KROMER... WHAT CAN YOU DO?” “What do you mean?” He seemed to sense my change in tone, his grin beginning to wobble nervously “[Whoopsie daisy!] LET ME START AGAIN. DO YOU HAVE A [trade]? A [skill] TO [Exchange for goods and services]?” he croaked. I eyed the ground, rubbing the back of my neck. What the hell was I good at again? “I mean, I can draw, I suppose...” “ARTIST? WOW OWOW!” Spamton’s face lit up before digging in the dumpster, pulling out a few napkins and a ball point pen and shoving them into my hands. “WHAT A [trade] TELL YOU WHAT. YOU DRAW A [one-of-a-kind masterpiece] AND YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT!” “You’ll let me stay... if I draw something for you on this napkin. Am I getting that right?” The doll nodded feverishly, basically hovering over my shoulder as I played with the pen. This was certainly the weirdest way to pay someone that I could imagine... well no but one that was in the realm of reality. I had to ask Spamton to give me some space a few time, the feeling of his breath on  my neck making me more then nervous as I drew. God he was like those kids in school that would ask for drawings but ten times worse with the amount of personal space he’d give you. Besides I needed something to draw and with nothing on the mind why not draw the most interesting thing in front of me. I held the finished doodle out to Spamton only to have it snatched out of my fingers so fast I swore we could have started a fire. “WOAH...” The puppet sank inside of the dumpster, his face softening  as for once in what seemed like forever the alley way grew silent. “THIS IS... ME?” “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t know what to draw, you kind of put me on the spot. Besides everyone likes drawings of themselves right?” I shrugged, being pulled away from my thoughts by an overdramatic sniffle. Was he... crying? Not quite, just damn well close. Spamton’s shoulders quaked as a warm smile returned to his cheeks, slipping the napkin into his pocket with glee. “SO GOOD... THANK YOU.” “It’s really nothing, honestly that was a pretty shitty drawing.” “WHAT? YOU’RE [&#!^]ING ME! THAT WAS [BIG SHOT]” He was screaming again, hands gesturing wildly about. “It wasn’t but thank you. I wish I was better to be honest. I’m not very happy with my art, not at all.” I turned away from his gaze, unsure of why I was overcome by a choking sensation building my throat.  Why the hell was I telling this stranger this sort of stuff anyway? I mean I could hazard a guess it was the fact that this was the longest conversation I had had with anyone since I had gotten down here but with how things were it could be some magic power the doll possessed to tell him my deepest darkest secrets. “YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS [Big?]” “No.” “WHY NOT?” “I don’t know. I just... I think it doesn’t look the way I want it to. Doesn’t look good to me, and I don’t know how to fix it. Which I guess is a little funny considering how long I’ve been drawing. Just keep... drawing and drawing and never improving, least not how I’d like. It’s just garbage to me.” Spamton’s face seemed to fall, his glasses fading to a dark inky black.  “YOU FEEL? NO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO? YOUR [passion]?”  “Yeah.” A laugh ripped from his chest, his head lolling back with each chuckle. I felt my soul began to crack, a shame flooding my body with how hard he seemed to laugh. Did he find this funny? Humorous?  I felt tears prick my eyes as I snapped my head back to glare at him, his head glitching back to stare back at me. “YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME, JENNA. A [slime] A REAL [slime]!” With a quick motion the puppet jumped to the ground, his hand resting against my arm as he spoke.  “YOU’RE A REAL [BIG SHOT] YOU KNOW THAT? STAY AS LONG AS YOUR [Greasy little heart] DESIRES!” Well... that was unexpected. He’d really let me stay here as long as I want cause I was pathetic? Or did he just feel sorry for me? What was going on? And why was he calling me a slime... or us a slime?  “Oh... uh thanks? I didn’t think I was being  much of a big shot whatever that is but I apricate it. Really.” His head clacked with every little nod, leading me to a pile of cardboard boxes and patting them with the grace of a car salesman. “BEST [Seat in the house] ALL FOR YOU. [Night night forever]!” Spamton beamed, awkwardly swaying side to side before stumbling back to the dumpster a few inches away and crawling inside of it, much like a wild animal. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. This guy was weird. Kinda creepy but also kind of funny. I honestly couldn’t pinpoint a feeling on him but at least he didn’t want to hurt me just make weird ass deals and make me ‘big’. Did that mean famous? Was this guy so into my art he wanted to be some sort of manager? I rubbed my eyes and let out a yawn, the excitement of the day finally beginning to fade. God I forgot how tired I was, that little guy made me feel like I was gonna go into fight or flight.  “Hey Spamton?” “YES?” his voice echoed from inside the metal container. “...Thank you.”

[erabundus]

@momijiba &&. said... 📂 📂📂📂 !!!

after  awakening  from  his  coma,  scaramouche  had  to  relearn  how  to  move  independently  of  his  own  will.  he  wasn't  supposed  to  ever  leave  the  machine  again  —  and  the  manner  in  which  he  tore  himself  free  was  effectively  the  worst  possible  way  he  could  have  ever  gone  about  doing  it.  the  tubes  were  attached  to  his  vitals;  he  damaged  much  of  his  internal  mechanisms  to  such  an  extent  he  very  well  could  have  "bled"  to  "death."  (  frankly,  he's  fortunate  that  he  didn't.  )  it  wasn't  only  the  shock  of  detaching  from  the  robot  that  made  him  fall  into  a  coma;  it  was  his  body  putting  all  unnecessary  functions  on  standby  so  it  could  focus  everything  it  had  on  making  what  repairs  he  needed  to  continue  living.

when  he  regained  consciousness,  he  could  barely  move.  everything  was  numb  —  the  most  he  could  really  register  was  unpleasant waves  of pins  and  needles.  (  which  understandably  distressed  him  even  more,  as  someone  who  relies  so  heavily  on  touch.  )  eventually his capacity to feel returned. however, he  had  to  slowly  build  up  the  strength  to  do  literally  anything  —  and  even  when  he  finally  could  pilot  his  own  body,  he  needed  to  figure  out  how  to  walk,  run,  jump,  everything  all  over  again.  he  doesn't  like  to  talk  about  it  because  it's  a  massive  blow  to  his  pride,  but  he  had  to  go  through some fairly strenuous  physical  therapy  to  make  a  complete  recovery. thanks nahida.

there  was  at  least  one  occasion  wherein  a  complete  stranger  thought  it  would  be  a  good  idea  to  (  flirtatiously  )  grab  ren  by  the  waist  /  hips without permission  and  his  first  instinct  was  to  punch  them  in  the  face  so  hard  they  swallowed  their  front  teeth.  at  the  time,  all  he  could  really  think  to  do  was  awkwardly  speed  walk  away  —  but  in  hindsight  he  feels  it's  amusingly  well-deserved.

and  speaking  of  ren  being  awkward ...  ren  is  very  awkward!  i  don't  know  if  i'm  able  to  properly  convey  just  how  off-putting  this  man's  vibes  are  in  any  given  social  situation.  it  probably  doesn't  come  through  as  clearly  in  threads  because  those  are  outliers  wherein  he's  forced  to  interact  with  other  people  by  design.  as  a  default,  he  just  perpetually  lurks  on  the  very  outskirts  of  any public  gathering.  (  the  "they  don't  know  [  insert  shitpost  here  ]"  meme  of  someone  standing  in  the  corner  at  a  party,  but  that's  just  ren  24/7.  )  mind,  he  isn't  necessarily  shy;  he  merely  possesses  absolutely  no  desire  whatsoever  to  interact  with  most  people.  if  you  try  to  make  eye  contact  with  him,  smile,  wave  and  so  on,  he  probably  won't  engage.  he  might  stare  at  you  a  little  —  don't  take  it  as  an  invitation  to  strike  up  a  conversation,  because  it  isn't. he's probably calling you names in his head. he's awkward, but he's not the glamorized cutesy kind of awkward. he's the weird guy who occasionally forgets to blink kind of awkward. if he wasn't small and relatively harmless looking, he would probably terrify a lot more people. scara certainly did.

he's  always  been  like  this,  too.  the  kabukimono  is  the  only  one  who  would  actively  put  forth  an  effort  to  interact  with  others  —  but  even  he  was  strange  and  unsettling  in  his  own  way.  scaramouche  and  ren  just  do  it  deliberately.

ren  is  actually  surprisingly  good  at  gambling  —  or  at  least,  what  aspects  of  it  are  skill  based.  luck  is  entirely  up  in  the  air  (  and  often  against  him,  all  things  considered  )  but  reading  other  people,  knowing  when  to  make  a  call,  weighing  probabilities  and  so  on  he  has  an  innate  proclivity  for.  he's  never  touched  genius  invokation,  but  if  you  tried  to  challenge  him  to  a  game  of  something  more  traditional  (  like  poker  )  there's  a  very  good  chance  he  will  destroy  you.

SEND 📂 FOR A RANDOM HEADCANON

[industriallyinsecure]

Since this is a shitpost hell I hope you hear me out. What do you think would happen if la squadra's darling, wanting a pet but not getting one (or being allergic to them), started treating them like a pet occasionally? Not in a weird fetish way but rather giving head pats, offering them to rest on their lap while they read, watch something or nap or feeding them a snack when they seem to be doing good. Like a silent companion type of affection?

*Zaps them all with a catboy laser* problem solved

With Sorbet and Gelato you're most likely to be treated like a pet, so you’d probably pick up on their love language too. Gelato loves physical affection while Sorbet is happy with quietly sitting next to you while the TV is on. There’s lots of love to go around, and plenty of loving head pats and back scratches for the three of you. Please give them both the same amount of attention, though. You’ll be accused of favoritism, and Gelato has a rather nasty jealous streak. Sorbet is far more understanding and doesn’t complain when you give Gelato more domestic sweetness than him. Gelato is needy, but he’s more than happy to let his tesorino take his share of your affection.

Risotto isn’t a cuddler. Even though he was deprived of it as a child, he still didn’t force you to touch him or force you to let him hold you. It was already like living with a cat in a sense. He tended to watch from afar, eyes fixed on your every move. It’s when you called him over to rest in your lap that his opinion changed. You took his hat and put it on, tracing his buzzed undercut and playing with his messy mop of snowy hair. It would’ve been more therapeutic if he hadn’t locked up and stiffened when you did it. Gradually, he came around to having a little bit of loving attention, but always shied away when he had enough. In an odd way, it was cute. A big giant killer who had kidnapped you was shy about being loved on. On days where he was particularly stressed or didn’t want to be touched because he was still on high alert, you’d attempt to stand on a surface to make yourself taller and gently pat his head.

Ghiaccio is already pretty much like a cat. He’s temperamental, only lets you touch him on his terms, and is very aloof. There’s a high chance he already rests his head in your lap after a long day, but you gently combing through his curls was new, and surprisingly not unwelcome. He did get a little pissy when you started to gently rub his ears when he ranted though. He looked it up the day before and found it was a way to soothe anxiety and promptly started denying that he was anxious in any way and didn’t need your comfort. It was...tense, to say the least, when he put his head in your lap the next time. Of course, growing used to your gentle petting, he was miffed when you didn’t give him the attention that he wanted. He starts to headbutt and place your hand on his head. Absolutely do NOT feed him anything! Even as a joke! He might bite you.

Melone loves it!! He’s a very big believer in physical affection and will melt in your arms if you stroke his back while he works. And he’ll be over the moon if you play with his hair! His favorite is if you two are wrapped up in warm blankets with a rom-com or comedy movie on so he can snuggle close and be loved on. One of his favorite cheesy couple things to do is to feed each other little bites of things. If he can get away with it, he’ll rest his head in your palm and just smile at you. Likely to return your mannerisms and love all over you if you let him. But if you don’t, he’ll whine about you not being fair and being a tease. You’ve made your bed, so now you have to lie in it, next to a very cuddly Melone. Make remarks about him being like a cat at your own risk.

Prosciutto is also very catlike. He won’t let you touch his head, he doesn’t like to curl up with you (even in private), and hates being “infantilized” as he calls it. Poor man is so touch starved that his definition of infantilize is doing normal lovey dovey couple stuff like feeding each other small bites of food and such. Yet he still loves the attention, even if he’s being prissy about it. He likes to let you indulge in your little petting for a while before abruptly stopping you with his hand when he’s had enough. Not that he’ll ever admit, but he likes it when you gently undo his hair. He enjoys being pampered, but only when he wants the pampering, which isn’t very often. Once in a while he’ll let you snuggle up to him and stroke and pet his chest, back, etc.. Eventually you do get to feed him some charcuterie (not prosciutto though because that’s cannibalism). All in all he’s very good about letting you know when he wants attention and when he wants to admire you from the balcony while he lights up another cigarette.

Pesci is used to being manhandled by Prosciutto, so your gentle touches startled him at first. He loves it when you pat his head and poke his cheeks. Snuggle with him, please. Little spoon or big spoon, he doesn’t care. And please, please, please, pat his head!! He likes to have his hair gently ruffled and his cheeks squished. Any sort of positive attention he will appreciate and love. It only fuels his passion and convinces him that taking you was the right decision. He’s your sweet little fish, no matter what happens.

Illuso only allows you to play with his hair if he’s fresh out of the shower or if he’s feeling generous that day. For lack of better words, Illuso is an attention whore but is also very specific about the attention he gets. He likes to be verbally praised and only lets you touch him if he wants to be touched. That being said, there’s a reason the center of his jacket is cut out. He likes to have you stroke and caress his chest and tell him he’s handsome. Secretly, he wants you to fight back and insist on pampering him because he’s just that type of person. If you give in to his secret desire, prepare to have it thrown back in your face when you(inevitably) fight him.

Formaggio is the type to already put his head in your lap and beg for love. He and Melone are the biggest lovers and givers of affection, except Formaggio actively seeks out anything he can get. Putting his head in your lap, snuggling close in bed, pressing up against you from behind; there’s not much he won’t do for just the slightest touch. He melts in your arms if you gently scratch his head or pet him. His pet names for you will always outweight your pet-treatment of him, though. Such names include: hunny bunny, snuggle bug, sugar pie. All in all, it’s pretty wholesome if you look over the fact that he’s forced you into a relationship.

[whatudottu]

Any headcanons on the Andromeda family?

Hmm let’s see- I had to sit on this one because I’ve only recently been especially thinking about them. Yes, they were my favourite folk for UA, but only retroactively am I actually beginning to really have any thoughts on them. @thistlehawk ‘s the one to really talk to about Andromeda 5, I just come up with the art for it.

Still though, I’m not afraid to give it a whirl- let’s do a cute and cursed hc each shall we?

Bivalvan

I do not know why- Bivalvan gives me heavy Mom Vibes™️, and I don’t know if it’s because of my recent shitpost or not, but he feels like a bit of a parent??? Like- chiding because he cares, sarcastic but affectionate, and if like actually parental-child relationship (don’t mind me slipping in some father-daughter content) understands when and where to intervene or let breathe? Applied to everyone else in Andromeda 5 you’ve got bickering competitions between him and P’andor, bonding over being both aquatic AND most of the brain cells with Ra’ad, getting to talk about random things with Galapagus, and being the strangely sturdy pebble to Andreas’ shaky mountain. The vibes- they compel me-!

Though, if ever there is a piece of technology that ISN’T bolted down, with Bivalvan around it inevitably goes missing. If you ask he definitely won’t say- it’s not like he’s taking anything vitality important anymore, he’s just tinkering with a few household items, Bivalvan WILL not return whatever lost device to default working order. Whether or not it’s a ‘being prepared’ thing or a ‘needing those claws to constantly be on the move’ thing has been long since muddled by time and also maybe slightly a little bit of criminal activity maybe possibly- Asking for permission is a relatively new thing for him to try out.

Galapagus

Though he won’t engage in violence unless deemed otherwise necessary (like of course his attempts to garner the attention of Ben Tennyson), Galapagus had undergone a little bit of a corruption arc. By Aldabra standards- Galapagus is a villain most foul, but really he only partakes in the occasional heck word and one little ‘cookie jar’ lie as a rare treat.

But did you know he had retractable claws? i didn’t know that at the time of drawing :(- I just couldn’t resist thinking about cats when I realised- and soon that thought turned to scratching posts and perhaps the need to just claw into something and… I don’t know? You’d like to think it was Andreas tearing cushions or Bivalvan itching seams of fabric or even P’andor peeling out the stuffing on a varying scale of nervousness, need or boredom- but you’re wrong. That is Galapagus’ urge- he is the one to scratch up the couch-! there’s a few trees on aldabra surely one can contemplate philosophy while giving the bark a good scritch

Andreas

Being a big lad himself, Andreas can bench-press everyone in the Andromeda 5… but not at once- not that Andreas himself would be the type to use them as weights, haha! Ra’ad and Bivalvan are easy to lift for obvious reasons, P’ander’s weight is all in the armour rather than matter (especially if he’s still stuffed in there), but Galapagus is at top difficulty, mostly due to his shell which for 1) doesn’t offer any flexion, so it’s not an easy hold and 2) is a dense mother heckery for full on bone.

Also, that isn’t just simple armour, those are technically densely packed plates. Andreas has layers upon layers of thin but durable scales that pack in and come across as armour, so outer layers can break without effective the overall integrity of the plates. That uh… DOES mean that shedding happens at some point, even if it’s less Andreas getting bigger and needing larger fit armour and more just ‘refreshing’ the quality of the scales. He’s just lucky to not need it seasonally, else Earth might’ve futzed with something with its no doubt different seasonal cycle.

P’andor

You’ve probably already seen my redesign of P’andor’s true form - the fucked up deer-taur look - but if you manage to find a large, flexible AND relatively thin rad suit (or just find it more convenient to get 4 different suits), P’andor when well fed and significantly more ferret/centipede-y is at his least bastard and most pretzel. Don’t get me wrong- he’s still one heck of an ass, but without the constant annoyance of eating his own bones for enough energy, he’s got a lot of warmth and totally not radiation to share- with only the Andromeda 5 + 1.

Though, speaking of eating, because most of the time being out of his suit is off-limits, on most occasions when P’andor is just hankering for something to naw, hearing clanking coming from the suit isn’t all too unusual. Don’t you worry, that’s just P’andor shifting and maybe accidentally forgetting how cramped the suit is, sometimes one gets a little sneak peek at his fingers as they claw out the slots for that day’s surplus intake. The best kind of ‘sustenance’ that can fit through the slits is probably overwhelming energised energy drinks- to the toxic slutch degree, heart-palpitations degree.

Ra’ad

Saying that Ra’ad is an empath isn’t exactly right, or at least gives off the wrong vibes. Yes, being able to read the minds of folk with a proper nervous system has a little more uh… actual mind reading than trying to understand based on what one may or may not know. But- you could say that Ra’ad is a great listener, so even if he pretty much has exactly a mind to know what you’re thinking (though only if you DO have a nervous system), listening and responding seems to be what Ra’ad would do instead. Though- in place of thoughts, he gets the joy of listening to a constant hum coming from P’andor’s direction- like listening to a microwave.

The bonus to being able to float is that Ra’ad gets to have some degree of control over how much it LOOKS like he has bones, but sleeping breaks all illusions. While he’s far from the level of jellyfish liquidity, the most bone he has in his body are some cartilage plates segmented in his main body, so while his body looks like it does when Ra’ad is consciously aware that folk don’t typically lack a skeletal structure, his many limbs can end up twisting up on themselves- not quite in knots but most certainly in positions most skeleton folk can’t get.

[pinkandgreenroom]

I was tagged by @mona-liar, thank you so much!!!! ❤❤❤

I tag @im-not-a-monster, @ojibways, @brrave-face, @soullessminyard, @pinktop-s, @thottiehardy, @acelucky

1. Why did you choose your url? I was 16 when I started this blog and I wanted to make sure no one in real life could find it so I somehow went with that name? Idk, I have always liked the pink and green colour combination I guess and this was the only good thing I could come up with (and tbh, I never found a better name so it stays) 2. Any side blogs? Nope 3. How long have you been on tumblr? Too long, since November 2011....UGH...it's gonna be 10 damn years in a few months.... 4. Do you have a queue tag? No, either I am online and go on reblog sprees or I am not and there is silence 5. Why did you start this blog in the first place? A friend of mine showed me this site and her blog and I thought it was interesting and half a year later I made myself a blog as well...tbh I started because I wanted to reblog pretty pictures and maybe use this a bit as a diary? And guess what I am still using this as. 6. Why did you choose your icon? Because the song slaps and their performance was so good, I am still grinning like an idiot when I think of it. 7. Why did you choose your header? Because that is a mood tbh and because he is drinking beer. Also I just happen to love this dude very very much 8. How many mutuals do you have? I have no idea...probably a lot but I only talk to a handful and with the rest it's just silently following each other and occasionally reblogging some stuff from each other 9. How many followers do you have? I don't know tbh? Like I never really check the number, I just see whenever someone new follows but that's it 10. How many do you follow? I literally have no idea, maybe around 300 people? But like half of them are probably inactive and I only follow them cause we're mutuals 11. Have you ever made a shitpost? Yes and they are my most popular posts for some reason -_- 12. How often do you use tumblr a day? Nearly every day for several hours....too much, I am trying to reduce it though 13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Yes, some years ago...and it was super stupid and not really a fight but unpleasant nontheless...and yes it was my fault because I was a) incredibly stupid and b) unnecessarly hateful...but well, that is long in the past, now I can vagueblog better 14. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? I hate them so much and I usually try to ignore them 15. Do you like tag games? YES!!!! I love them!! 16. Do you like ask games? YES, I like to ask someone something and shower them with love and to recieve love in return!!! 17. Which mutuals do you think are tumblr famous? I can think of a few, mainly because their posts blew up or they are getting weird replies but tbh I have no idea 18. Do you have a crush on a mutual? No. I never had a crush on anyone so I wouldn't know tbh. But I know they are incredibly beautiful <3

[exmo-freakshow]

a rant (CW: mentions suicide, religious trauma, and queerphobia)

I love the church I grew up in but I also hate it. I grew up feeling accepted by a wonderful community. Now I can't tell how deep their kindness goes. I feel like I have to hide my identity in order to be accepted, because I am unsure if my church leaders would ostracize me - strip me of privileges, or tell me I lack faith or that I've been deceived - if I lived truthfully. Church leaders speak words that are 99% beautiful and uplifting and 1% scary or offensive. The church spends millions on humanitarian aid while spending billions on stocks, real estate, and lobbying. It shaped my life for the better. It's now arguably making my life worse.

I love the BYU/Provo community but I also hate it. People are incredibly friendly and invite you to parties and bring you food and also whisper the word “queer” like it's a dirty word. They'll talk so much about loving everyone - and they really try! - but see any act of acceptance as "condoning sin". They are quick to serve but they also speak of people who have left the church or identify as LGBTQ+ or struggle with addictions with a strong "hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner" tone. They are very wholesome and will defend their values to their dying days yet many will bristle at being told to wear a mask. Many of them have never met a Black person before, or a queer person, or a person who is not a member of the church. They are essentially the only friends I have. I love them. I hate it.

I love BYU itself but I also hate it. It’s given me an amazing education, and its tuition is very affordable for anyone - and through scholarships, it’s technically paid me to attend. But its standards are in many ways absurd. Modesty I can understand, to a point, but a ban on beards? no colored hair? and don't even get me started on the ban on "homosexual behavior" or the outright transphobia/enbyphobia. It offers free counseling and formed an official committee for diversity and inclusion yet condemns groups for shining rainbow lights on Y mountain, refuses to issue a statement after a church leader told students to resist LGBT inclusion with proverbial "musket fire", refuses to change a problematic honor code even after sustained protests, and boasts a student body of which a whopping 0.4% are Black. In a year and a half or so I will get my degree from BYU. My time here will shape my life forever. It already has - in good ways and bad.

I love Mormon doctrine but I also hate it. There are so, so many wonderful elements to it - eternal families, personal revelation - but also enough about its shaky history - polygamy, child marriage, racism, queerphobia - that it can be hard to balance. It talks about how God’s love is unconditional but then sets conditions on how to feel that love. Much as it repeats "you don't need to be perfect," it's easy to feel like you can never measure up. And its only answer to not feeling the way you're supposed to - having doubts, not feeling like your prayers are being answered - is to just keep going. Don’t trust outside sources, they could lead you astray. Throughout my life, through my mission, it gave me hope and comfort. But when questions came, it had few answers, and when the depression and mental health struggles came, there were fewer answers still. And then, when at the ripe old age of almost 23, I finally realized I was queer, it seemed like the nail in the coffin given the Church's history and vague doctrine surrounding queerness.

I love God but I also hate Him. I still fundamentally think He exists, and that He had a hand in my life once upon a time. When I was a child, and occasionally as a missionary, I truly felt He loved me and guided my life. I loved Him back and did the things that Mormons do not because I felt I had to, but because I loved God. But it seemed like His love and closeness expired when I hit 16. Although I did not doubt God’s existence, everything was suddenly harder, and answers to prayers seemed few and far between. And then shortly after returning from missionary service, everything stopped. I was struggling with my identity and with burnout - if there was one time I needed God's love and help, it was then, but He was gone. I nearly ended my life because I felt so abandoned. It’s been a year. There’s been no indication that He cared, or was there at all. I love God for what I truly believe He's done for me in the past. I resent Him a little now.

It's General Conference time, when Mormons everywhere tune in to watch church leaders give sermons for 10 hours or so over the course of two days. It's a big deal, especially around here where you'd be hard-pressed to find a non-Mormon within a mile radius. Everyone's excited. It's wonderful. It's also conflicting, and terrifying, for some of us. I've listened to 1.5 hours or so of the 6 hours that broadcasted today. Some of it resonated with me. Some of it made me feel sick. The same thing that used to make me feel so loved is now the thing that often makes me feel unloved.

That's the end of my rant. I want to use this blog for fun rather than an outlet for religious trauma and identity crises, but with my roommates blasting Conference on the living room TV, my social media full of #ldsconf and stylized quotes, and virtually no non-Mormons in sight, it's what's inevitably on my mind. Hopefully in a few days my brain will be off its bullshit and back onto its desired path of shitposting and memes.

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

AUTHOR REVEAL of the JATP: ROUND 1: ANGST FICS!

The Tropes:

1. Character discovers they’re not human

2. Coffee Shop AU

3. Poorly Timed Confession

4. Character A catches Character B crying

————

the sky was gray and white and (cloudy) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie] by @screamin-amuseum

Summary: “I’ve got you,” Willie’s whispering over and over, panic creeping into his voice. “Alex, I’ve got you, okay? Come on, baby, come on, it’s okay, I’ve got you, you’re gonna be okay, I love you–”

Alex spits out what feels like a clot of blood and gives Willie a tired grin, probably looking completely insane.

“That’s pretty gay of you,” he says, just as his vision clouds over and he passes out.

Honey, You’re Familiar (Like My Mirror Years Ago) (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by nik_knows_nothing

Summary: Luke works at a coffee shop, which is normal, quietly pines after his coworker, which is normal, and also occasionally steals people’s faces without really meaning to.

It’s probably that last part that moves him pretty solidly out of the “normal” territory.

But that’s fine, that’s totally cool.

He’s handling it super well.

You Can’t Value People Less Than a Good, Hot Cup of Bean Juice (It Just Seems Rude) (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by nik_knows_nothing

Summary: Julie gets a job at a coffee stand in the middle of nowhere.

It’ll help to pass the time, if nothing else.

And if there’s a cute guy who works the shift after her and sometimes leaves her ridiculously endearing messages on an ancient tape recorder?

Well, that’s just a bonus.

honest to god I’ll break your heart, tear you to pieces and rip you apart (Rated T) [Julie x Luke] by @tonightthestarsalign

Summary: Julie wakes up with a start. Her hair is stuck to her face with sweat and there is a loud crashing noise. The sheets beneath her feel rough against her skin. She shivers, when a breeze meets her naked skin. She must have left the window open when she went to bed last night. She opens her eyes. The room is dark around her, but the glow in the dark stars, she stuck on her ceiling when she was a kid, are shimmering brighter than ever before.

or: the siren!Julie AU no one asked for

new instincts (Rated T) [Luke x Reggie] by @comeonpeters

Summary: Reggie is fine with being the only human member of his band, Julie and the Phantoms (tell your friends!), just like he’s fine with being the only single member. It doesn’t make him feel lonely, and he’s only picking up more shifts at the coffee shop because he needs more money, not because he’s avoiding being alone. And picking up more shifts at the coffee shop is making the work easier! He’s only a little confused by the fact that he can now touch the espresso machine mid shift without burning himself… must be all of the experience.

you look like you’ve just seen a monster (is that what i look like to you?) (Rated T) [Bobby x Alex x Luke x Reggie] by @aroacethetic-shitpost

Summary: When Bobby woke up that Friday morning, he wasn’t expecting to have horns. Who would? There was absolutely no reason to expect horns to just start growing out of his temples, but there they were anyway.

He stared in silent shock at the little nubs in the mirror. They were only an inch or two big, but pointy and a little fuzzy when he poked at them.

Well, at least they weren’t fully grown yet.

(or: it’s angsty tiefling bobby time, folks!)

We Are Monsters, We Are Proud (Rated G) [Flynn x Carrie, Julie x Luke] by @americanhoney913

Summary: The clock is striking thirteen

It’s time to scream your team

We don’t have to say goodbye

‘Cause friends like these will never die

Carrie finds herself at a college like no other in search of her dad and some answers.

Julie’s not feeling good and maybe staring at roses wasn’t the best idea.

Monster College/Coffeeshop AU

sending forth their beautiful voice, and my heart was fain to listen (Rated G) [Julie x Carrie] by @savannahleemay

Summary: Months after the death of her mom, Julie prepares to sing again and makes an upsetting discovery.

rise from the ashes (Rated M) [Alex x Willie] by @willexxmercer

Summary: At a time when everything was going wrong for Alex, the one bright spot in his life was the charming barista at the coffee shop he frequented. At least, it was the bright spot until everything went up in flames. All he could do was hope that they could rise from the ashes and figure things out together.

Siren’s Song (Rated T) [Ray x Rose] by hufflebibin

Summary: The Scopuli was never meant to be a permanent arrangement. Rose had taken the job straight out of school just looking to make a little extra money before the tour kicked off.

That was four years ago.

After a string of bad luck befalls Rose and the Petal Pushers, she can’t help but wonder if she is the problem. Or is there something more sinister at play?

Yellow (Rated T) [Julie & Reggie] by @tmp-jatp

Summary: Reggie picked up his apron and polo. Julie returned, this time hiding behind Alex. He held a pair of metal pastry tongs out in front of him like a weapon. One of his arms was extended protectively in front of Julie.

“Alex, Julie, what are you doing?” Reggie cleared his throat; his voice was deep and gruff, like he was developing a cold.

Julie and Alex startled. Julie glanced down at her nametag. Alex readjusted his footing and his grip on the tongs.

“What’s going on, guys?”

Alex took a deep breath. “I don’t know who you are, dude, but you have got to leave.”

–

Reggie just wanted to get some new guitar strings. A shapeshifter!Reggie au

Angels Like You (Rated T) [Luke x Reggie] by @sunsetcurveofficial

Summary: Reggie is having a bit of a weird day. It gets worse when he figures out that it’s because he died in his sleep and has somehow been walking around as a ghost without realising it. Meeting Luke helps. Luke says he’s a fellow ghost, and there is something about him that Reggie just feels drawn to. Falling for him is the easiest thing Reggie has ever done, but Luke is a little more than he lets on, and it turns out that their story actually started long before Reggie thought it did.

look into my eyes (it’s where my demons hide) (Rated T) [Flynn x Carrie] by @fanfics-she-wrote

Summary: Hiding out from demons was never a desirable nightmare. Of course, Carrie would much prefer a run-for-my-life nightmare than actually running for her life. Having Flynn around is a very welcome soothing balm, though.

Bring All The Monsters Out To Play, Let All The Red Erase The Grey (Rated T) [Bobby & Reggie] by @kennysbirthday

Summary: Mythologicals, Reggie realised, were kind of like queer people. Sometimes your Token Human friend turns around one day and admits that actually, there was something they were suppressing all along, and they hadn’t realised.

–

Reggie’s final exam has been pushed forward at the most inconvenient time. Bobby is sick, Alex is missing, and now he needs to help a selkie get their ‘Happily-Ever-After’ in order to scrape a passing grade. Oh, and if his boss catches him handing out more free coffee, he’s gonna get fired.

————

All the Winners can be found here.

We hope you enjoy these fics from our fabulous Fantoms! Make sure to leave kudos and comments to show them some love! And don’t forget, if you missed the initial writing deadline you can still submit your fics to our Non-Anon Collection at any time! Thank you all so much for participating this round! Now that winners and authors have been revealed feel free to post about your fics, create artwork for it, if you like, and don’t forget to tag us!

We hope you all will join us for Round 2! The prompt drops at Midnight tonight!

[bensonhurstbullet]

SALVATORE + THE USE OF POWER.

SALVATORE IS A FUN OC TO WRITE.

which is why I often come back to him. He’s talkative, energetic - depending on the age, a shit-talker, a borderline bully, and overall I’d say that he has a vibrancy. In shitposts Sal is incredibly easy to make into a one-dimensional character, though. Like, one dimensional in a matter that are more or less in line with stereotypes centered around  Italian Americans & The Mafia. HE HAS ATTITUDE, HE RUNS HIS MOUTH A LOT, HE’S AGGRESSIVE. But while these are traits he possesses, this is not representing his full personality in a multi-dimensional way.

Salvatore is a shifty person, and he has been HIGHLY OBSERVANT since childhood in multiple ways. So needless to say, Salvatore has quite literally survived by making himself possess qualities others will find pleasing. Charisma, humor, a sense of leadership, VIOLENT RUTHLESSNESS: you name it, he has embodied this trait to get in the good graces of older men. Although Salvatore knows his true values and core personality traits are, as a middle aged man, Sal’s personality remains to alter depending on who is around.

WITH FRIENDS ( people who have known him since his youth ), Sal is the life of the party. He’s funny, he can get a little wild, inappropriate. All and all, he can be ‘a bit much.’ It’s SIMILAR to his attitude when he was a young man, but Sal watches how far he goes with his wild actions. After all, he has people to return to at night. Meaning, his WIFE AND KIDS.

With them, Sal is doting and protective. He is also the ‘lively’ parent who is far more laid back than Delores. Ultimately, when Sal is providing for the family he made, he feels as if he is doing THE ONLY RIGHT THING in his life. This is how much of a priority they are for him.

NEIGHBORS? They can become friends, but if they do not - Sal is more temperamental and aggressive, which can cause ‘rivalries’ to form. This can cause physical, drunken fights. And more often than not, Delores navigates his social life with their suburban community. And when it comes to BUSINESS PARTNERS? SALVATORE IS ON HIS ABSOLUTE BEST BEHAVIOR, for public perception is so important. 

He shows good ethics, rational decision making and a little charm. He isn’t afraid to let his business partners get closer to him as if they are friends, however even THAT is an occasional tactic utilized for good partnerships. This is because Sal doesn’t authentically want to be companions with them, what he wants is for them to lower their guard a bit and WARM UP TO HIM.

Sal can be quite egotistical with a high perception of himself, so for someone to belittle him genuinely hurts on a personal level. He will be seething for days. ( Which is ironic, since he picks on people and belittles them. ) However, he knows better than to retaliate for something such as this. ( When he was young though? Living for nothing BUT his name? He would. )

Sal can only be brought to a state of violent fury if someone says something derogatory about his wife or children ( which just aren’t insulting, mind you. These comments can be racially motivated which literally ignites Sal’s bloodlust. ) Alternatively, for someone - a grown man, like him, in the same business - as him, to make vivid, upfront threats about his family or put their hands on them? That’s it. That makes Sal see red. ( other triggers include the abuse of any children, he does not respect men who abuse kids. Even if they are business partners. )

All and all, if Sal has his crew strike someone, it’s never irrational. There’s reasoning behind it. If Sal wants to kill you gruesomely? It’s because you’re a despicable man.

[hotforhandman]

Good morning!

I have a bee in my bonnet about something. 

A few days ago, I - on the advice of a friend - created a Patreon account for my writing. It hasn’t been picked up yet, I haven’t started getting pledges yet, it’s only the early days, but it got me thinking. 

Why is it that I see artists with Patreon accounts all over the place, same with Youtube analysts and such, but I never see any authors with them? Sure, people who have a primary creative focus elsewhere might write and publish stories on the side, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen even BNF writers monetising their work. 

And like... why? Writing requires so much work, so much dedication and so much time. Fanfic is a cornerstone of fandom communities, and I see so many tumblr posts praising writers for churning out novel-length works for free, so why aren’t fanfic writers supported the same way fanartists are? What cultural division is there between creative fan media that has meant writers’ payment comes in the form of kind words and kudos, which is all well and good but doesn’t help put food on the table? 

I generally don’t like talking about getting recognition online because I think it can come off as entitled sometimes, but it is true that in the era of likes over reblogs and the onus of spreading work lying pretty much exclusively on the creator, it does feel like writers do get kind of shafted. The occasional bit of art might get lucky and rack up a few hundreds or thousands of notes, but a fic will be lucky to scrape dozens. Fandom tags are always flooded with art, meta, and shitposts, and you have to go looking for writing that isn’t x reader scenario requests. So maybe that explains why writers don’t bother with Patreons or more useful forms of support. 

So this is my request to fandom, not just for myself but for every other author out there dedicating hours and hours of their lives to entertain people and getting table scraps in return: be kind to writers. Treat them the same as you would artists. Feed them and support them and make their work valuable. Writing is a form of labour too, and it’s not an easy one. So please, do your part to make it worth it. 

Signed, your friendly neighbourhood author x

[manicmarsupial]

The Smallest Outlaw Chapter 4- The Point of Snow Return

I’ve really got to progress to the Horseshoe Overlook chapter. I’m running out of snow puns. A bit of a boring chapter, but there is Ollie’s origins and a small (lol) physical description...that’s kind of it really. Also...I really stink at trying to write accents because of stupid hearing

I’m still trying to figure out if this story will follow the plotline exactly or make it in to a fix-it fic. Oh the choices...help...

As usual, feel free to submit ideas you would like to see. Also, acknowledgments and thank yous to @yeenybeanies (Devin is awesome), @lilnoodlegal (Outlaws and Winglings is a much better story than my brain barf shitposting), and @tiny-james (for fuelling the fire of my madness regarding RDR2 G/t).

Feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged for updates to this story. Let’s get this started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know when I fell asleep. I’m no longer on a wooden surface in front of the fire. Judging from the feeling, I’m still wrapped up in Hosea’s scarf…and it’s dark. One surface I’m resting against is moving steadily. Occasionally I can hear a deep thump.

I try to adjust my position to get more information. I hear a questioning hum reverberate above me. A sliver of light above me widens. As my eyes adjust to the light, I see the towering figure of Hosea. I unconsciously attempt to retreat.

“Mornin’ Ollie,” he smiles as he looks down at me.

I look around. As well as being wrapped up in his scarf, he also had me under his coat. That explains the movement and the thumping.

“Morning,” I mumble in return.

I cover my eyes and hide back into the scarf, whining about bright light. Hosea’s chuckle rumbles through his chest as I feel the woollen material close around me. I brace myself as I feel my confines move.

“You have an explanation due,” I hear Hosea’s voice almost directly outside.

I emit a grumpy ‘no’ sound and burrow further into the scarf.

“Are you going to continue this stubbornness?”

“Yah huh.”

“Just my luck,” he mutters with a sigh.

Honestly, now I kind of feel sorry for him. I scrabble my way to the open part of the bundle, only to pull part of the scarf over my head like a hood due to the cold air nearly freezing my ears off.

“I can’t tell you what’s going on, because I don’t rightly know,” I admit with a shrug.

“How is that possible?” Hosea raises an eyebrow.

I think about this. Should I tell this giant stranger about myself? He did admit that he and his friends were outlaws. Outside, there’s wolves, bears, and a blizzard. Inside, a whole lot of giant outlaws. My question is, which is more dangerous? Well, if these guys wanted to kill me, I’d be dead already.

“Because two days ago, I was human.”

A brief look of disbelief crosses Hosea’s features.

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Your pointed ears were off putting.”

“My what?!” I exclaim.

Hosea looks confused, then smiles.

“You obviously haven’t seen yourself in a mirror, have you?”

“Uhhh, no. I woke up with my hotel bed the size of a barn and lit a shuck anywhere else. No time to preen,” I admit, hesitantly moving my working arm to one of my ears.

They’re pointed, as Hosea said, but much longer and stick out. At my surprised realization, they twitch upward.

Hosea chuckles softly and my ears flick at feeling the exhalation of his breath.

“At least you’re entertained,” I grumble.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you end up in Colter?”

“I stowed away in someone’s satchel. Turned out he was an O’Driscoll. Not my best decision.”

“An O’Driscoll? Do you remember which way they were heading?”

I try to recall what direction the horseman was going.

“Uh, North East, I think.”

“Ah, we’ve already run into them,” a dark look passes briefly over Hosea’s face.

“What about your arm?” any sour attitude regarding the O’Driscoll’s has gone.

“Oh, the horse bucked. I landed badly, then staggered over here for shelter.”

“How are you still unconvinced that I was human?” I ask on seeing Hosea’s dubious expression.

“It sounds too simple.”

I shrug off my makeshift hood and go to search my bag, but I don’t have it.

“Where’s my satchel?”

I’m sure I had it with me.

Hosea shifts me to one hand then rummages through his pocket and pulls out my bag. It’s positively dwarfed in his palm. I move one hand to take it from him, then reconsider. I just spill out the contents.

“If I wasn’t human, all that would be too much of a coincidence,” I gesture to the two food tins, my journal, and a small amount of coins.

Hosea raises his hand closer to his face to inspect the items.

“Awake already, old friend?” Dutch enters the room with a booming greeting.

“Just talkin’ to little Ollie here,” I feel my ears flick in irritation at the nickname Hosea just referred to me as.

“What have you found out about our latest acquisition?”

“Used to be human. Ended up in Colter by accident,” Hosea answers, passing Dutch the stuff I had poured into his hand.

He inspects the items before placing them back into the bag.

“And how is Ollie feeling?” Dutch hands me my satchel.

“I’m a tiny human with a broken arm and a thin coat in a blizzard. I’ve had better days.” I grumble.

I recoil as Hosea brings his other hand up, but he only rearranges his scarf to cover my shoulders.

“At least you’re no longer stuck outside alone,” he smiles.

With that in mind, this isn’t one of my worst days.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Hosea had left the cabin to discuss something with the other gang members, something about another missing member. I kept myself busy by reading…trying to at any rate, the book Hosea always has.

When you had no-one to teach you as a child, it’s a hard thing to teach yourself. I’m no exception. I understand enough to know it’s a crime story. It doesn’t take long for me to focus all my attention on reading.

 My ears flick as I feel a short gust of warm air from behind me and a familiar chuckle.

“Sorry, probably should have asked you first,” I mutter, grabbing the cover of the book to close it.

I’m stopped by Hosea’s massive hand over mine. I track my eyes up his arm to look up at his face. He’s kneeling next to the small table.

“I would never have taken you for a reader,” he says with a smile.

“Uhh, I can’t read…not very well anyway,” I admit.

He takes the book, marking the page with his finger and puts his other hand out in front of me.

“C’mon Ollie,” he urges.

“Why?” I ask cautiously, slowly backing away.

“Because you’ll freeze to death like that.”

I look down at myself. I hadn’t realized the scarf was no longer over me.

“Oh,” is all I can say as I shiver.

I give a squeak of fright as Hosea wraps his massive hand around me. I struggle to escape his grasp as he lifts me off the table.

“If you keep squirming, I might drop you,” he warns softly.

“I’m trying not to hurt you.”

That’s kind of true. I notice that his grip isn’t actually tight. More of a secure hold trying to avoid my splinted arm.

My stomach drops as Hosea stands up and I grab onto his finger with one arm, holding on for dear life. He takes a step to sit down in a chair in front of the fireplace. He leans back slightly as he settles into his seat. His fingers loosen and I drop the short distance, landing on the fur lapel of his jacket. I barely have time to get my bearings before his hand pins me down. I try to wriggle out from under his hand.

“Shh, just relax. You need rest with your injured arm, and you are going to freeze without intervention,” his voice rumbles through his chest.

My next sentence is interrupted as the cabin door opens. It’s not Dutch or Arthur, but an older man with glasses. Hosea quickly places his other hand over me, concealing me from the new arrival, though I can just see through the slight gap in his fingers.

“Ah, good evening Herr Matthews,” the new man greets in a thick accent.

I’m guessing German maybe. As he turns to close the door, Hosea closes both hands around me. I register upward movement then I’m dropped onto his shoulder. Specifically, between his shirt and coat collar. He wraps his scarf carefully around, then stands up. I grab his coat in fright.

“Evenin’ Herr Strauss,” Hosea’s booming voice echoes in my ears.

“I’m vondering vhen we are getting off zis mountain. I’m sure zhe others are curious about zhis also,” Herr Strauss says as he attempts to rub some warmth back into his arms and hands.

“We have to be extremely careful, Strauss. Pinkertons are still crawling all over the state.”

Pinkertons?! What did this gang of outlaws do? And what have I landed myself into?

“I know. I’m just anxious, is all,” Strauss replies.

I don’t register the pounding of hoofbeats until Strauss is already at the window.

“Zhere back. Wit John. Mein Gott, he looks awful,” he exclaims.

Hosea took the opportunity while Strauss was distracted to take me off his shoulder and put me into the small drawer of the end table, then gesturing ‘shush’, before following German outside.

That was…weird.