#fic in general has always been difficult bc i find it hard to write characters who aren't mine and my standards are insane

[lesbianalicent]

did you guys know that writing is the hardest thing in the world and you should never ever do it

[pinkomcranger]

I agree with you about Saga! I personally don't ship Andercasey (no hate to people who do, of course! You're all great and your creations are fantastic <3) but I love love love their platonic relationship! It's so great to see male/female platonic relationships represented in media, and their relationship is fantastic (whether you like it platonic like me, or romantic!). Saga in general is such an amazing character and it's sad to see how the fandom treats her. I know this is a usual pattern in fandoms in general, not just with AW - people ignore the women (of course, woc even more so!) in general, no matter how interesting they are, just to focus on the (white) men. I do like Caseywake personally, since I find the dynamic interesting, but I don't like, ship-ship it very hard, I find it intriguing. But whether people do or don't, it's sad to see they also can't give focus to Saga and acknowledge she's her own person. They make her a prop in other people's relationships. It just sucks. Why are women always the backdrop and props to mxm relationships?? In general I find it sad that people are so quick to only value romantic love - not that there is anything wrong with shipping. Usually I'm a big shipper as well. But bc shipping is such a huge thing, then they can use the excuse of "I only like Saga and Casey platonically, but I don't write platonic things, and Saga doesn't have any interesting romantic pairings to make for her if it's not Andercasey so I just don't write her!!" And it sucks so bad. I wish this fandom was different but unfortunately it follows this very old pattern of a fandom. :(

I think everyone in every fandom needs to do some self-reflection on why they ALWAYS ignore the female characters and poc. It's always been a problem and unfortunately continues to be.

Oh, you absolutely do not have to ship Andercase romantically. It's perfectly fine to see them as platonic, it can arguably be said they were written that way! Their relationship is beautiful however way you see it. Their chemistry was off the charts, Melanie and James/Sam made sure of that!

Platonic m/f relationships do make me happy, and personally, that's Alan/Saga for me. Nary a hint of romance or even surface level attraction, and I'm here for that.

Now, putting my personal ships aside, you're very correct. In fandom, women and WOC especially get ignored to place more focus on the white men. And I've never understood that in this day and age, when women and WOC are finally starting to get the recognition we deserve. What's the point in this?

You can very much ship your fav men, while also including the woman, especially if she was such a big part of the source material. It's very egregious when it comes to Saga, considering she's the deuteragonist. She gets equal writing and treatment, in fact, I would go so far to say that if the series WASN'T called Alan Wake, Saga would be the protagonist.

There's truly no reason to ignore Saga when she drives the story we get. Alan himself admits, with no hesitation, no anger, that he needs Saga. So to see the fandom essentially go "that's nice you feel that way, Alan, but I don't need her beyond propping!" leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

You can't even give a good case of "I CAN'T create for Saga shipping-wise, there's nobody to ship her with outside of Casey!" There's her husband (and I know that's difficult considering we don't even get so much as a glimpse of him, and that's interesting to me, but that's a topic for another day), there's Rose, there's Tim, there's Ahti, there's Estevez, there's even Alice. Saga has just as many options as Alan.

And there's no excuse to ignore her in another pairing. You can EASILY write CaseyWake without using her as a prop, or just an aside to say "see? I remember she was in the game!" Where are the ensemble fics? Why can't she be written with all of her characteristics and agency that was she given in-game? Does a black woman who isn't a stereotype that uninteresting or frightening to the general content creators?

Again, this isn't something new to just Saga in this fandom. Alice suffered from it the most, by virtue of being the most important woman in the previous games. And she got pushed aside for ScratchWake. But with the release of AW2, she's been given more love, I've seen more fics for her, I've seen quite a few Alan/Casey/Alice fics. Which also tells me that fandom finds it easier to write for a white woman than a black woman.

There really isn't anything I can do about that, I can't FORCE anyone to relate to Saga in the same way I do. I know there's difficulty writing for WOC, there's difficulty relating to them personally if you're not one. But again, in this day and age, when we're being shown more on the big screen/small screen, in books and video games, there's truly no excuse.

POC in general are still nowhere close to being represented as much as white people, but seeing a character like Saga so well written, so wonderfully portrayed, so loved by her creators get ignored for the basic white men, while this same group of people claim they're tired of decades of white men being the focus but continue to personally make them the focus, shows an extreme case of hypocrisy and covert racism, because again, there's no excuse.

I understand the fixation on fictional and FBI Casey. There's so much we're not shown, that we can fill in the blanks and easily fit it into canon. But at the same time, you can do the exact same thing with Saga, because we're NOT shown or told everything about her and her life.

I want this fandom to be better and do better. Like you said, all fandoms need to take a good, hard look at doing some self-reflection. Don't choose to ignore the beautiful women we're given just because they don't fit your narrative.

[bluebaric]

just finished what i (for some reason) thought was the last chapter of all your blood and was temporarily gutted thinking that was how it ended… turns out that was not the last chapter but i am still gutted! big props to your writing man!!! i love lottienat but i have a hard time finding fics that feel true to their actual characters, so naturally when i found this i spent the entire night speed reading it. id love to know more about your mindset when writing them, their motivations in both happiness and the wide range of sadness between both of them and stuff like that. again big compliments to you!

ah dude thank you so much! i'm really glad u like it. and of course i can tell you about my mindset! i'm so glad you asked! (putting self aggrandizing explanations beneath the cut)

honestly, i struggle with these girls a lot. I'm a real stickler on characterization—my general philosophy on fanfic is that fic is really a sort argument one is making about the text that one is writing fic for: that argument being, under these circumstances, these characters would think/feel/act this way, and you need to have evidence from the original text to back up the thoughts/feelings/actions you put in your writing. I know, that sounds like an insane and not fun way to write! But i like it :) having canonical validation of my writing choices makes brain go burr :)

so the real issue i run up against in yj fic is that i'm writing abt a scenario in which they were never in the plane crash, and the plane crash is so vital to who these characters are and how they act in canon that i can really only pull from like, the pilot and flashbacks for the basis to my characterization. lottie esp is very difficult, because we have essentially no idea what she was like pre-crash and fully medicated. so on one hand that's fun, i get to have my own little ideas :D on the other hand it's rough, bc need everything to seem canonical and perfect >:(

in any case! the characterization i settled upon!

i feel like one of natalie's primary character traits is that she thinks she's inherently a bad person incapable of achieving anything worthwhile in her life or experiencing any happiness that will not inevitably be ripped from her grasp or held against her in someway—poor baby, she's traumatized :( so she has a hard time connecting with people, because she trusts no one and hates herself. she wants to be loved like everyone else does, but she constantly gets in her own way without necessarily even knowing why. she has no healthy frame of reference for what love is supposed to look like, so she feels like she's bound to fuck it up eventually if she ever does accept love from someone. and on some level she does not think she deserves to be happy or loved, because of how inherently bad a person she is. GOD that's depressing. also she has no impulse control, perhaps due to the insatiable void of repressed longing within her.

lottie, on the other hand, is so openly and ardently desperate to give and receive love. she's been lonely for so much of her life and she really isn't ashamed of the fact that she wants to be connected with other people (unlike some natalies i could name...). she's deeply empathetic, very charismatic, honestly great at the whole human connection deal. her largest hang up is her mental health, which she feels is the main thing that keeps her from being able to love and be loved the way she's always wanted. she hides her struggles and performs normalcy in order to gain access to the friendship and love she thinks she will be denied if she were to be entirely honest about who she is. her parents were really the biggest factor in instilling that mindset into her. fuck those guys.

so how does that create the dynamic that plays out between them? lottie ends up making a lot of the first moves, not because natalie doesn't feel just as strongly about their relationship, but because natalie is scared and lottie is frankly a bit impatient. she sees through nat's bs, loves her anyway, and wants to get this fucking show on the road. natalie does not know how to deal with being cared for so strongly, so honestly. it's never happened before, she was pretty sure it was impossible. lottie's love sort of destablizes nat's personal perspective, leading to a very tumultuous emotional state wherein to accept being loved is much, much harder and scarier than to insist upon being hated. oof.

lottie, for her part, admires how nat refuses to change herself for other people—not that natalie doesn't care what other people think. she absolutely cares about and internalizes what other people think of her. but she keeps going anyway, doesn't make any attempt to appease those who disapprove. lottie, as a person who keeps a lot inside in order to be liked by other people, sees in natalie the possibility of being yourself—a self that the world doesn't particularly care for—and being good, being loved anyway. if lottie can love nat, and nat can love lottie, then lottie can love herself. it's like a lil math problem or smthn.

idk man, it's so complicated. there's so much i could say—we haven't even mentioned the side characters, nor did i break down the exact moments in canon i use to validate all my writing choices! i think it would perhaps be slightly unhinged for me to do that! i spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff. i guess it's worth it if it's leading to a fic that people enjoy lol?

anyway, if you made it this far into my self indulgent rant, you deserve a cookie. hopefully this is what you wanted, anon? thanks for the ask, i clearly had some stuff i needed to spill out onto the keyboard. and thanks again for reading my lil fic! hope you're having a good one :D

[eusuntgratie]

13 & 25 for the weird writer’s asks! (These are fun!)

i like them too!

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

writing actual hockey is hard for me. i'm NOT a sports person (wasn't) and am still learning the game and all of the lingo and intricacies and still send a lot of obnoxious questions to the group chat. so i generally avoid writing game play in my fics even though i frequently set my hockey rpf fics in a canonish universe or have at least some of the characters still being hockey players in an au.

i can't think of anything else, subject matter wise? but i only write what i want to, so i'm sure there would be plenty of things i'd be bad at or that would be hard that i just...don't want to write, so i don't.

this isn't really subject matter necessarily, but i still really struggle to write good kissing/making out scenes. i feel like my smut has come a long way but i still find it incredibly challenging to write a good kiss that strikes the right balance.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

i don't always have a lot of backstory in my head for my fics, but i do sometimes.

in she, tk and patty play hockey together (they'd be on a 16U or 19U team i guess, i hc them as 16 or 17). patty's coach is being shitty bc she's dealt with a series of injuries despite being so young, not because she's trans. her and tk have played together since they were young and have always been close. they're best friends, and were both too scared to do anything about their changing feelings until this moment.

weird writer asks | ask me

[atxxzist]

Hi. I just wanted to drop this here after binge reading Broken. I'm in shambles. Literally.. The more I read on the more I was drawn in. It's really been quite a while since I got to read some good Ateez [series] fics. Often times there aren't many series/long fics... I'm also unfortunately a sorta, picky reader so that makes it harder for me to just read anything. But still I applaud all Authors for putting in the effort and writing regardless!! It's not easy, but do what u love 🤍 As for yours, I'm convinced. Writing was on point as well. I absolutely love it so far. There are also a few things that truly spoke to me with ur writing! But I'll share those another time. Looks like I'm gona be sticking around for a while 🫡. I've completely fallen for the characterization of Yeosang!! Just so u know. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT. BUT I WENT SEARCHING; AND READ FOR SAN, but ended up falling for Yeosang. Like what's even up with that. I'm just so exited to see what's up next. Again thank you for sharing ur work 🤍 I will be browsing through Tumblr with giddiness and restlessness for the next few hours. Sleep can certainly wait. & classes can certainly be skipped XD. BUT SERIOUSLY, Broken is gona be replaying in my head so much that there's even a chance I fall asleep and dream about it. 😭😭😭😭

crying 😭 first of all, ty 4 taking the time to send in such a long and thoughtful message. i honest 2 god have not been having the greatest time when it comes 2 writing 😭 i was rlly excited 4 the upcoming chapter but its proving to be a lot more difficult than i thought lol, and am just v swamped with life in general that even finding the time to actually sit down and write is hard. but enuff of that, i am glad you gave the story a chance bc y/n's pain has always been one ive been wanting to write 4 a very long time lmao and i hope 2 b able to convey it the way i have in my head.

more under the cut

and yeosang, omg. was honestly kind of worried abt his characterization at first bc he rlly isnt a bad person, but with how he acted initially, it is fair some would write him off as an ahole. im just relieved i was able to get that across, that he is a lot more than what he shows around y/n and what she thinks of him. and next chapter kind of breaks down his character more so i am also excited 4 his backstory. but by the time im answering this, i hope u got 2 sleep and attended your classes lmaoo. again, ty 💕 u made my day.

[redrocketpanda]

This is just a random little thought that's currently unraveling in my brain that may be of interest to no one but me (which is fine, whatever, it's my blog and I'll leave my dirty laundry on the floor if I want to), but I am currently having some Thoughts about my fears around writing dialogue + characterization and wondering if this stems from being autistic...? I am also now genuinely curious whether those of you who are autistic who write fiction that involves people/characters (in all its many forms, including comics) may share similar fears/issues/generally relate to this

I find that I'm constantly tripping up whilst writing the fics I'm writing at the moment and started reflecting on what the issue(s) might be. In all of them, I know what's happening and what I want to happen, and yet when I come to write I feel like I start to choke. For the most part, I would say my previous fics have been quite Dialogue Lite. They tend to focus a lot on description and emotions. I know what the rooms look like, what the character's are doing, how they feel about each other... I know what it feels like to touch, to inhale someone's comforting scent, to be scared, to love... and I know that my writing is very emotive because of this

But when it comes to writing dialogue? Jfc kill me now. Every piece of dialogue I write feels like getting blood from a stone. It feels absurd. It sounds (to me) so unnatural. The KazuRei fic is supposed to be humorous and heart-warming; the Kunichi one teasing and hot. But my mind just draws a blank over and over again.

I don't experience this IRL - I always have something to say. People tend to find me to be charismatic and funny. But I have no idea how to translate this into writing, because I don't know how I'm doing it or sometimes even what I'm doing. It just comes out like that. I do also know that I constantly misunderstand people, often think about thing's very literally, find turn-taking difficult, and find things like RP stressful bc there's no dialogue options for me to choose.

And when I was sitting here reflecting on why dialogue scares me so much, I had this thought hit me; I don't really understand how people (who aren't me) talk to each other, I don't always really understand how verbal communication works, I don't really understand other people. And I'm scared of that being printed in black and white text for everyone else to see. I'm scared of people reading my work and realizing that I'm like... some kind of "broken" human.

If you ask me to pick a favourite character (let's take an easy one and go for Bakugou), I could tell you in intimate fucking detail about who he is, what his emotional landscape is, all of his fears and desires and dreams. Ask me to write something that he might say... and I can't. And the further we get away from characters that are like me, the harder it continues to get. I am finding it hard to even think about how my friends who I speak to every fucking day might respond to something.

Anyway, this was a really long ramble as my thoughts literally processed in my brain. And it's makes me super sad bc I would love to write something that people think is funny and has characters that people fall in love with, but I'm starting to worry that I don't have that capability

[aclosetfan]

the pet peeve/pettiest opinion i have abt this fandom is how sometimes ppl portray the blues w/o any substance and/or any sort of depth like they do the greens and reds🤝

I don’t even think this is petty, it’s just true 🤷‍♀️ it seriously irks me to no end. I’m so glad you brought this up!!! lmaooo short response is I 100% agree with you.  unfortunately, I agree with you so much I wrote a whole freaking essay, which can be found under the cut. I could rant about this all day long. I don’t even care. The blues are such a disappointing couple :( I wish fic writers would cut out the cutesy pure bs that you find so often with these two.

I really think that the biggest problem with the blues (and Boomer) is all rooted in Bubbles’ characterization. I think she’s the most difficult for people to write because she’s the least “problematic.” And a lot of people don’t know what to do with her because no one can relate to unproblematic. She’s written as (excuse the annoying early 2010s expression, but it fits) the perfect cinnamon bun and there’s no conflict if a character doesn’t have some kind of internal conflict, they’re boring! They get tossed to the side!! Blossom is often written struggling with leadership and perfectionism. Buttercup is often written struggling with impulsiveness and aggression. People relate to them because they’ve “gone through things” most people have experienced themselves. Fic writers like writing Bloss and BC for the same reason because you can only write what you know! But shoot, writers still got to place Bubbles in somehow! So she’s either an airhead, or a crybaby, or too innocent/naïve, or the uwu character, which is good for a few laughs but 🤷‍♀️ it gets pretty 2D and old real quick. Her biggest issue in the show was people babying her, but usually, that conflict is written off in fics with one simple “OH so she’s actually a badass” scene and that’s like it?? It’s never visited again?? (Even though all her solo episodes focus on her accepting who she is despite what others think so idk if badass scenes actually do her justice. She’s a lover not a fighter at the end of the day tbh.) It’s understandable though. I struggle with Bubbles because I’m not as optimistic as her character, and I certainly don’t relate to being “the joy and laughter.” It’s hard writing someone whose fanon character is interpreted as practically flawless. In ppg fics you’re also juggling a big group of characters, so it’s advantageous to rely on the simpler archetype tropes. So, I think it’s easier for people to set Bubbles up in a relationship than explore her more thoroughly since she’s the sensitive one who would be into the lovey-dovey stuff. Further, if you want to give readers a break from the heavier themes of your main plot, having a cute side pairing is a good safe escape. Not a lot of thought is needed to make those relationships work. And since Boomer’s just there and also underdeveloped, they get paired together. And because people (rightly) want to stray from the predator/prey trope because Bubbles is just so Pure(tm) and the trope feels assault-y, writers make Boomer inherently good. But now you’re just stuck with two good, cute characters. That’s it. And because their plot in the story revolves around their romantic relationship, it's their relationship that is the only thing that aids in their character development. The blues make up the lighthearted B-plot (but probably more like C-plot because the greens are usually B-plot material) The blues seem to follow two tropes: 1. Pure childhood crushes—Boomer was always good and wants to do good by Bubbles and she wants to “protect” him from his “mean” brothers 2. Bubbles “fixes” Boomer, but he really doesn’t need any fixing in the first place because he was good all along, he just needed encouragement. (Weird side note, have you noticed how Bubbles is always like “Boomie you’re NOT stupid” and then all the sudden it’s like the boy has a PhD) And I'm not faulting anyone for having a b-plot relationship with the blues. If it’s done right, being in a relationship does wonders for people! But relationships are work and without the blues having their personalities developed OUTSIDE the relationship, there’s no “work” to be done. They’re just the Perfect Couple and it’s boring. Don’t get me wrong, I like the pairing (it’s v cute), but what’s nice about the greens and the reds is that each individual character has usually been personalized (Butch not so much, in my opinion, his character generally revolves around BC, but bear with me for argument's sake), which makes their relationships with other characters fun to read. The greens and the reds are flushed out because their most basic archetypes are the most relatable and easiest to write. The Blues, though, just seem to get together. Bubbles is a hard character to write, so by default, so is Boomer. They have no conflict outside each other that would trigger character development. They flirt, sometimes Bubbles resists, then they’re together. She’s the cutest thing ever and he’s a simp for it. Easy, fluffy, they fade to the background because now that they’re together what happens to them next?? Irl people either get married or they break up. Most of these fics are high school AUs, so they can’t get married, and no one wants the cute ones to break up, so they just start to enter and exit the story as convenient segues. And that’s disappointing because individually they could be so interesting. Bubbles has to struggle with the fact that people infantize her. Her ideas are often dismissed, people treat her like a ditz, and her ability to be a hero is often called into question because she’s the one who seeks peaceful alternatives, and when she DOESNT seek those alternatives, people in the show freak out and become scared. Like I said before, most bubbles centric episodes focus on her accepting her sensitive side and using it to overcome a conflict. Also, HIM’s like her main villain in all her episodes. and, shit, one of her nicknames is literally Chubbles. She’s been called fat a few times. There’s so much a writer can do with her conflict-wise. Optimism and sensitivity don’t equal naivety, we don’t have to make her Pure. In fact, it’d be way more fun to see her trying to show everyone that she’s no longer a child but a young woman. And Boomer has like 3 episodes, right? Maybe 4? Literally in all of them, he’s a bratty little boy. He carries slugs in his pockets. He’s bad at trash talking. Easily distracted. Fights with his brothers. Dumb and chaotic. Good at spitting. He doesn’t put Bubbles on a pedestal. He wants to beat her up. He’s not a good guy. Bubbles thinks he’s cute. That’s literally all we know about him lmao. He wouldn’t be soft so why would what we know translate into a boring unproblematic underdeveloped boy?? You can write him unfulfilled. You could write him stuck in his brothers’ shadows. You could write him as a weirdo who’s obsessed with bugs (to match bubbles animal obsession). In my head, if Brick’s the smart one and Butch is the strong one, I make Boomer the charming one. And charming boys are dangerous boys 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️he probably had to charm his way out of plenty of dumb situations. I also make him unluckily lucky since he gets captured by the girls in one episode, but he still makes it out just fine. Everything bad that could happen happens to him but Boomer’s like “eh 🤷‍♀️ It’ll blow over. Lol already died once. What can ya do?” So you've got a girl who is never taken seriously and a boy who takes nothing seriously and yall really think their relationship would be unproblematic??? Individually, these two characters could be fun to write if the fic author plans it out correctly! Idk why their relationship wouldn't be either. If you want a compelling romance, you’ve got to make compelling characters. 

[spectogram]

Writer tag game time >:)

Thank u sweet @palimpsessed and @mostlymaudlin for the tags!!

Tagginggg whoever tf wants to do this and tag me 0:)

How many works do you have on AO3?

4!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

44,164

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? I’ve written for 3 and only published for 2 and the fandoms are twilight (i have a PhD in twilight tbh), teen wolf and simon snow.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Generally yes! I always read comments, but sometimes responding feels kind of overwhelming, especially when I get a really nice comment - like however I respond it’s going to be inadequate.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Honestly I don’t think I’ve published any fic in the last year that has an angsty ending at all, unless he count my 2 wips. Idk how to quantify angst/fluff in my own writing, bc i think those are just like elements of pretty much any story?

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I haven’t written any yet imo even though I think all my fics have some kind of reference to sex. I guess I like writing about sex and intimacy but I don’t feel very confident when it comes to writing something that’s meant to be sexy?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t! Me and @stillmadaboutpetra have a fic we wanna write together at some point when we have the free time. I’ve collaborated on writing projects that aren’t fics, but nothing fandom related yet.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Omg ummm. This is kind of a difficult question to answer, since I think it’s just basically whatever fics I feel like reading at the moment. For the past year it’s been snowbaz - it’s just they’re like the culmination of character archetypes and dynamics i find myself attracted to frequently, and the fact that they’re BOTH the crazy bitch, both gross weird and bloodthirsty in different ways. All time though??? Reading twilight fan fiction at 13 gave me brain damage so i guess I’m obligated to say Bella/Edward and based on the twilight references in the simon snow series i suspect i haven’t really outgrown it sadly. Idk if that’s favorite so much as like my ball and chain. Hannigram bc just who doesn’t love murderers in love, mutilating their way through the stages of courtship i ask u

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but you don’t think you ever will?

I don’t have a lot of wips tbh, and i really try to only start writing something when i feel confident I’m going to finish it. Ill Met by Moonlight is the exception, but I also really don’t care about finishing it. I still wanna write my Satanic Panic/Jennifer’s Body femme!snowbaz AU but I’m not sure when I’ll get to it. Idk! I’m superstitious about this kind of thing so if I’ve fleshed it out enough that it’s made it to being a WIP i like to think that I WILL write it bc it’s hard enough to motivate myself to write and finish projects when I’m not second guessing it once I’m in the process of writing it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m good at capturing mood and atmosphere. I think I come up with really good concepts in a big picture sense, and get how to draw themes and nuance out of stories I’m writing. I think I’m good at letting my characters be complicated and weird and prickly, and not fussing over how palettable everything is to everyone.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I definitely overload my stories with ideas. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but sometimes I’ll start with a simple idea, and it’ll balloon to the point it’s intimidating to start or finish because there’s so many things i wanna jam into it. I don’t think I’m great when it comes to dialogue and it’s one of the reasons i don’t usually write first person. Worrying too much about being smart and not having fun is like my biggest writing weakness, that’s the real roadblock though.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I only speak English

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Twilight is my fucking rosebud, it’s why I’m like this

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Omg ummm usually i guess whatever’s the most recent thing I’ve written. Probably offerings because i think the concept is really fun and weird and not really like other fics in this fandom — i haven’t worked on it recently though because i think it takes a lot of my brain power to write adequately and i just wanna write stupid dopey fics. I like taste of red really only because it was kind of a big personal milestone to have written 20K in a month, and actually finished something i set out to write. I like speaker seen bc it turned out exactly the way i wanted it to. I like the twilight fics i wrote tbh! It’s how i figured out i liked writing and that i COULD be a writer.

[bae-science]

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

[mira--mira]

Question from an aspiring writer:

How do you stay motivated on one project for such a long time?

I personally have the attention span of a goldfish, and whenever I have an idea I either have to write down everything my brain can spew immediately or have it be lost in the void for eternity.

Never mind going back and turning my outline into a fic or gasp editing.

Do you have any tips and/or tricks you use?

Ok, I got completely carried away with this just fyi, but hopefully I ended up answering your actual question 😂 tl;dr at the bottom.

To be honest, staying motivated is a tricky thing, one that I feel I'm still learning how to do even now and varies a bit between shortfics/oneshots and multi-chaptered fics/longfics. For a bit of background, I've been writing fanfic for about a year and a half, but I've been writing original fiction since I was seven, over a decade and a half, and I still wrestle with it. It's definitely a learning process.

One thing I wish someone would have told me when I was starting out was the power of ~scenes~ in either multi-chapters or one-shots. All writing is ultimately made up of scenes, but if you're struggling to put things together, focusing on an individual scene, or multiple short scenes, might help you focus on getting something completed, and it's something that eventually can be applied to longer works as well. Writing has been a snowball process for me and once I started getting anything completed, I felt more secure in knowing what I could write comfortably and what was out of my comfort zone, eventually getting to the point where I felt comfortable tackling bigger and longer projects and knowing I could stay with them.

OoT's interlude chapters and the snippet series are both good examples of scenes because I wrote them with that intention...even if most of them are actually two or three scenes combined. "Gai meets Hashirama and Madara", "Hashirama gets revenge on Kakashi", "Tatsuki and Hashirama pick flowers for Madara, then give them to him" etc. were all my starting points.

If you're first starting out and feel comfortable with outlines of some sort before you start writing I would encourage you to try and write down a bullet point list of your scene(s) and what you know you want to happen in it.

"Gai meets Hashirama and Madara"

* Hashirama meets Gai first, mistakes him for Lee.

* Madara is shopping for a gift for Hashirama

* Madara finds Gai and Hashirama, they spar, Gai kicks his ass, both of them love him.

This is how my initial outline looked for the first interlude chapter, technically each one of these "points" are their own scenes stuck together. Outlining is different for everyone, some people like super specific points, others even less detail than this. For me this is a nice middle that gives me a roadmap for the chapter, but allows plenty of room to naturally diverge and add detail. Play around with outlines and see what you're comfortable with/what gives you the best results.

I'm not sure of your individual situation, but if you're struggling to put together fics in general something like this might help. Doing this process again and again personally helps me stay on track and gives me a sense of progress.

This sense of progress is ultimately key and why I think motivation differs slightly between one-shots/short fics and longfics. If you confine the individual scene to a one-shot, that might give you the motivation to complete it. Even if you start writing and you get interrupted/can't finish having in one setting, bullet points sometimes help inspire me to finish because I'm not starting from scratch when I return to writing. The whole "eat an elephant one piece at a time" thing was difficult for me to learn, but ultimately proved true. Learning to chip away at something bit by bit is going to be the only (healthy) way to write longer projects you can't complete in one sitting.

For longer projects, it's a similar beast just on bigger levels and with an added dimension. I would actually suggest something similar to OoT for a starting project because it is ultimately broken up into arcs that you know and can reference, instead of making a lot of og content for a fan setting. Maybe not go into it thinking, 'I'll do a complete rewrite' but once you feel like you're ready for a longer project 30K+ or so, the rough outline method and the ability to follow arcs was what got me started when I eventually decided to make the fic multi-chaptered. Try writing one arc and keep yourself contained in that. Now the added dimension aspect in general for longfics is that you eventually want to plot individual chapters in a multi-chaptered longfic and individual arcs (character, plot, etc). This comes with practice. I honestly don't think there's a way to get around that. It's something that I'm still trying to work on and I can look back at my early work and see how I've improved, how I can recognize where things didn't go well in certain places, and how I would change them if I was writing today. That's a good thing to be able to do, it means you've grown! The other thing I find that helps with staying motivated week after week for longer projects is to roughly know where you're going and to try to be excited about a plot point/scene/chapter/etc that you're going to write. Really try to hype yourself up. For me, it's a moment that comes at the very end of the chunin arc and I start grinning even thinking about it because I know it's going to be awesome. It's always what gets me through the rough days, imagining the moment I'll get to actually write that scene in its entirety (it's definitely already outlined and I mentally play it out at least twice a week lol) and is a big motivating drive.

So far I think this is pretty standard stuff if you're an outliner and you've been writing for a few years, but the other thing motivational-wise for me is having a schedule. From reading this message alone, I would not suggest it for you right away. Get comfortable finishing small things and feeling confident that if you let an idea sit for a week or two, you can pick it back up and continue. But if you eventually dip your toes into longfics (and don't plan to pre-write everything before you publish) that routine and rhythm really helps keep me going. I've made a commitment, I've posted it online, I'm going to stick to it. No one is going to jump down my throat if I fail to keep it (this is still a hobby and having fun is the most important thing) but in my mind I should commit to it unless something irl prevents me from doing so. Don't put a tight deadline on yourself, I'd start with once a month or if you write shorter chapters every three weeks. This also would help you build up and get a readership, interaction being another big motivational key.

Also, it's important to accept that sometimes you bite off more than you can chew, and when you feel completely demotivated from a fanfic project...it's okay to drop it. It's okay to take a step back and work on something else. Maybe you'll come back to it, maybe you won't. If you can, try to pinpoint what it was about that project that made you demotivated, were you pushing yourself too much and you got burnt out, was it an ongoing series and your interest for canon lagged and so did the fic, was it just too stressful to keep juggling plotpoints, etc. and keep that in mind moving forward. Every experience can be a learning one and eventually make you a better writer that can eventually tackle those bigger projects. Don't be afraid to take on big aspirational projects, but don't walk into them blind either. Above all, and this is repeated a lot because it's true, enjoy what you write. Some days you might not. That's true with anything, but any project you take on the good should outweigh the bad.

This is my wrap up of the motivational section but I also wanted to throw my two-cents in about editing because "oh no editing" is a perspective I've seen from a lot of writers, and used to have myself, but I think is going to stifle your progress in the long run.

Here's the thing: you need to look forward to editing.

You don't have to be jumping for joy, but editing, imo, should be a positive thing. You have all these great ideas, you made it into a fic, something you wrote, and now you get to go back and make it even better! This is a tough attitude to adopt. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. It took me a long time to unlearn the negative attitude and even then sometimes I still wish the editing was already done once I type in the last period. But I've learned to at least appreciate what editing does and I try to think to myself as I'm going through and making changes things like "wow, this suddenly became so much better. X plot point that I thought of ten pages from now is suddenly being hinted at and doesn't come out of left field. The transition points are a lot cleaner, it's not so jarring anymore. I bet the readers are going to love this little detail. Here's some foreshadowing that I hope someone picks up bc it's going to come back in like 5 chapters from now" it's hard, especially when you start, but this is something you made, and now are actively making better and that's something to celebrate.

I hope this helps anon! I know it's a lot and I'm by no means an expert but I've been doing this for more than a decade because I love it and I want to help others get into writing to! I have no problem answering any writing questions you may have if you find this helpful!

tl;dr

-motivation is slightly different between short/long fics.

-starting out, learn to outline by scenes and focus on finishing small projects and getting to a point where you feel like you can put something down and come back and pick it up again in a week. Completion is key and will help you feel satisfied/know your limits.

-long projects also can work on the scene-to-scene outline but now with individual chapters and individual arcs. It's tough to balance both but comes with practice. Bit-by-bit is key, as is having 'one moment you can't wait to write', possibly a schedule if it works for you, and reader feedback are all huge long-term motivational points.

-editing is tough but learn to look forward to it instead of dreading it.

edited: added a bit more/few typos fixed

[coollyinterferes]

What would you consider is the most challenging aspect that comes with writing your character?

unprompted asks 【always accepting】

Hi, anon!! First of all, sorry to have kept you waiting (rl has been getting in the way a bunch as of late on top of my usual slowness orz)!! And I also apologize bc this is gonna get Long, so I hope that's okay! There's also gonna be some inevitable salt in some parts, so I hope that's alright, too ;v;

There are some aspects I still find kinda difficult, even after the years I've been writing for this dork tbh. One of them is probably the fleshing out of all those sides Speedwagon's character has and that a big chunk of the fandom sometimes completely forgets about or even pretends they don't exist at all for a variety of reasons. Same with the fleshing out of PB as a whole, too, as it's directly connected to the character in different ways, and the many things we didn't get to see on screen but that we were told that actually happened (or didn't happen in some cases). Much like with many other jojo characters, people tend to reduce Speedwagon's entire character to One Trait, though in his case its usually a trait taken from wrong ideas they got from all those "haha kono dio da funni amirite" memes, which is why you often see him being labelled as the "uwu soft and pure ball of blushu blushu virginal sunshine boi who can do no wrong and will never do it either uwuwuwuw" by a lot of people even when Robert is a ruthless criminal from the worst part of London in canon, and taking his actual heart of gold and twisting it into "absolute and immaculate purity UWU". Basically, he gets woobified a shit ton by a big chunk of the fandom, with certain aspects of his personality getting twisted waaaaay beyond recognition sometimes or just entirely made up or taken completely out of context for a variety of reasons. All of this is one of the main reasons why I've always put a lot of effort into showcasing all those sides of his that we were shown and/or told about in canon. Showing all his traits, yeah, but also making sure to always show his many MANY flaws and those dark and sour sides there are to his character (many of which he retains even in his older years, with some of those traits/flaws most likely being 'passed down' to Joseph, i.e), since people tend to forget that not only Speedwagon comes from literally the same shady place as Dio, having lived there for twice as long than Dio did, no less, but people also forget that he was also some ruthless gangleader who hard-earned the respect of dozens of other criminals and violent thugs and who are now under his command, ready to kill whenever he orders them to.

With all this said, in general, the most challenging part I think would probably be keeping some kind of balance in all that and not overdo or leave out one or the other since all parts are just as important to his character and to that personality that we were given in canon, and keeping all those hideously ooc fanon takes as far away as possible. All this while also doing research as much as necessary on Victorian stuff like terms, speech, customs, gay culture, and everything else that plays a role in Speedwagon's character (as a fun fact: no kidding, I legit knew NOTHING about the Victorian era when I first got into JJBA, so it's thanks to this dork that I started digging into that era and learning everything I now know about it xd).

As far as the side muses go, I think Tattoo and Li are more challenging right now in the sense that I don't write them as often, so I'm still trying to get a better hang of their personalities overall, their flaws and traits and so on. As for Jonathan, I've written him in the past a bunch of times for both rps and fics, but I haven't fleshed him out "a lot" rp wise yet, so I always worry about getting him right and close to his canon since, just like Speedwagon's case, Jonathan gets woobified a fuck ton by the fandom, too, for a variety of reasons.

Pretty sure I rambled a lot, but I hope all this stuff made sense ;;;; And thank you so much for sending this in, anon! I love this type of asks (and p much all types of asks, too xd), so please keep them coming any time~ Hope you're having a wonderful day!! ♡♡

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[listless-brainrot]

tagged by @scrtminlikesdrawing and @harutheestallion !! thank you sm for tagging me <3 <3

prompt-share your: 

first fic: my VERY first posted fic was on ff.net and was. it was a total drama oc cast thing. i don’t really remember most of it bc i’ve blocked most of my younger fan days out of my mind but ESPECIALLY that. as for my first official atla fic it was bending expectations (which i’ve unfortunately deleted for the time being but it will come back! i just wanna flesh it out more)

favorite fic: i have a few!! i don’t read fic as much but fics i go back and revisit are Until Ba Sing Se, Not Ready to Make Nice, and Kiss Me?, and i love all of these for different reasons that i will list Now

>Until Ba Sing Se: the first Jetru-centric fic i found that made me go oh? other people,,, ship what i do? i have content? and seeing it really inspired me to go all out and write my own stuff!! not only that, it’s really well written, and takes place somewhere often loathed by most- The Great Divide. it also gives this really good interpretation of jet that feels practically ripped from my own mind, and haru’s characterization is pretty good as well, giving him a nice relationship to both of his parents. jet and haru’s relationship slowly develops over the course of the oneshot, and it’s just really sweet. the part where they share blankets?? lives in my mind rent free. it all ends.... uhhh... it all ends with... it... i’m sad. but everything else is really good!!

>Not Ready to Make Nice: plays with a concept that i’ve always struggled with for some reason, and that is jet living after lake laogai. not that it’s a concept i hate, there’s just a lot of questions that need answering, ranging from ‘would bee and longshot stick around?’ to ‘does jet ever get his swords back?’ to ‘what now?’. i think this fic really takes these questions and not only answers them, but runs with them. jet’s portrayal in this fic is incredibly nuanced, and it really feels like arthur has such a good grip of what exactly makes him tick. not only that, hama!! dude hama is in this fic and she has a personality and her and jet interact and it’s really good and you should all read it Right Now

>Kiss Me?: this is one of my fav fics for a lot of reasons, and one of them just has to be that sense of pure puppy love that you don’t really see in most fics, especially with haru and jet. when people write these characters, they often forget that they’re kids, teenagers at that, and teens tend to be stupid and inexperienced. that comes to a head here, where haru finds out that jet’s never really kissed anyone before. i love how jet is the inexperienced one, and it’s just really funny to me, and haru’s reaction is really endearing. there’s just this sense of both of them having these mutual feelings for each other that feels natural and really sweet, and it culminates into a nice kiss. a win for the jetru nation, truly

as for fav fics in terms of my own i think hooked is pretty up there

most recent fic: in terms of being posted?? i saw a boy at the party, a modern au oneshot. in terms of being updated?? hooked!! my biggest jetru project. 25k+ words and i’ve barely even STARTED

fic with the most notes: before i deleted it, bending expectations had the most hits, but now that i have, hooked does!! as for notes taken and outlining and other things... hooked. hooked is a HUGE undertaking you guys have no idea

a line or two from a wip: lemme see what i can find... digs through my snippets to give you a piece of a little oneshot i’ve been meaning to flesh out:

The war was over.

Somehow, against every single odd… it was over.

Of course it had ended in spectacle. Why wouldn’t it? The very sky itself had been a display of the sheer power it took to take their greatest enemy down, blinding hues of red and blue locked in a battle for dominance- for victory. 

And then, the red that entrenched the sky, threatening to saturate it in its bloody hues for all of eternity, was outshined, outright engulfed by the swaths of blue energy that grew brighter and more intense, eradicating its opposite, reducing it to nothing. And then there was silence.

favorite character to write for (and why): i only ever write these two exclusively, but it’s really a tie between haru and jet. both of them have these specific structures i try to follow closely, and their characterizations are extremely specific, but i think that’s what adds to the appeal. jet is admittedly harder to write than haru, but he’s also Fun to write. just seeing the difference between their respective povs which are so similar and yet so different, makes them an absolute joy to write, even if i suffer because there are just so many moving parts

character(s) you find hard to write: funnily enough, smellerbee’s kinda hard to write- i really like writing her spunky nature, but i give her very specific dialogue tics that i constantly have to keep track of. solely because of that, she’s pretty difficult to write, but i think it pays off!! i also have to flesh out her characterization a little more, and in general Write her more, but i like what i have so far!!

tagging: anyone who would like to do this!

[lukeshemmings]

Hey Vicki!!

Number one, I just wanna say I adore your blog and your content sm!!! Thank you so much for making such wonderful gifs for this fandom. Your work is genuinely so appreciated.

Number two, you definitely do not have to answer this question if you don’t want to, but I was wondering if you could expand on your relationship with nsfw content?? I understand certain things are triggering for you but I’m wondering what the line is and where your comfort level falls, considering how you sometimes caption your own gifs. Like, how do you determine what is and what isn’t nsfw, y’know?

Again, I can’t thank you enough for making your content!! And you don’t have to answer my question, I was just curious because I’ve been a little confused.

So much love to you!!! 💙

i am very scared to talk on this subject cause it's just my personal thoughts/feelings and i hope no one takes it a bad or personal way D: but you're very nice so i will be brave 🥺 thank you for complimenting my art 🥰🤧

it's a complicated question with a nuanced answer if i'm honest. i've tried to be black and white about it before but it's really not that simple so it's hard to express 😭

first things first i'm demisexual (we both are actually) which obv affects my relationship with sex. and my personal relationship with it is complicated for a lot of reasons (religious upbringing, eating disorder, etc) so it causes feelings of panic/distress for me. but also i write smut with my wife all the time. i'm comfy talking about it/expressing that side with her but very little with ppl outside her. i'm most comfortable with sex when i am not personally involved which is why i write about it a lot. i have no problem trying out new kinks and being really graphic about fictional characters.

^^ that said, reader insert fics make me so uncomfy bc it personally involves you. i have no interest in that LOL and it breaks the fourth wall so to speak and that makes me SO..... uncomfortable, alarmed, anxious, whatever u wanna call it. esp when you add on some are kink heavy. it's much too intense and distressing. i also just think doing that with real people without their consent is wrong but i get it.

there's grey area there cause i don't mind slash fic as much? it can still be exploitative and fetishizing for sure but there's also more of a clearly defined character? the author is gonna have their own headcanon on how the relationship works in the fic and what the people are like vs a second person fantasy porn. the perspective is diff and the goals of the writing. i actually read slash sometimes and enjoy it.

in general i don't think talking about real people sexually/graphically is right? it's one thing to say "luke looks so sexy" and another to say "i want to ride his dick" you know? and bc i'm demi, porn without plot makes me feel uncomfortable too, or i had mentioned a few days ago the warning list on fics of what sexual acts occur in the fic,,, fuck reading those has caused breakdowns/anxiety attacks before.

as you mentioned tho i listen to rap/rnb a lot and love when women are sex positive and i think it's great! also i love women LOL so i'm about that. i don't personally have a problem with ppl being that way even tho i'm ace. i do think it's hard to voice your discomfort when you're asexual tho if you're overly saturated with sexual content. it makes us look judgey/preachy when it's literally not about that at all. i would not speak on it or care if it wasn't so difficult to insulate yourself from in this fandom, unfortunately. idc if people do it as long as i can avoid it JALKDF

edit: sorry to make u read more, if you do return to read this ramble or talk to me about this (which i don’t mind!) but i also thought it was important to add that the primary thing i feel for the boys is loving/caring/affectionate. it’s very emotional and then finding them attractive is secondary or unimportant sometimes when other ppl might be focusing more on that. it’s not really my first instinct most of the time? it always surprises me actually, when others jump there and i’m so far from it. 

[al-kaysani]

hi! i kinda left fandom but came back bc of tog so i could find some good quynh content, and ended up sorely disappointed at how hard it is to find stuff. yours is one of my favorite blogs rn tho, so i was wondering if you by any chance had some recs for more pls? blogs, fic, hcs, art?

hello! i definitely feel the same - hopefully tog2 will give us more quynh background/screen time and we’ll all have more canon to elaborate on. in the meantime:

here are some blogs that i like who post a good amount of quynh & andy/quynh: @lesbianandromache , @afterlaughy , @nicolodigenovas , @ssungods , @justqueeerious , @themoonwheniamlost (if anyone has other blog recs please reply with them)

there’s also her tags on togsource and theoldguarddaily and the general andy x quynh and quynh x andy tags on tumblr for art! (you could also search [ the old guard quynh ] on tumblr but a lot of the posts on there aren’t about her)

and lastly i went through her tag on ao3 and picked out some that i really liked, so those are under the cut! (and if anyone has fic recs i am begging you to reply/send them to me)

Memories - trigger warning for drowning, death.

character study during her imprisonment, and it is sad, but it has a hopeful ending and i’m always a sucker for those.

Loveable, and Oh, my love, don’t forsake me - 

these are both by dani @afterlaughy which is why i’m grouping them up, but i love her writing! she balances the love and angst very well, andromaquynh fandom legend

raised from the darkest depths - this fic does discuss quynh’s trauma and recovery so be careful if you have to!

i like a good rescue fic! it also considers how lengthy and difficult quynh’s recovery would be pre any type of reunion, but it has a hopeful ending too.

let the water hold me down

this is sad and spooky and strange? but in a good way - i would do anything to set a mood like the author does here.

touch the threshold, it is ancient

it’s very heartwarming and very well written!

worship me not, love me until the end - light gore.

i know 5 + 1 fics have been done many times but this one is so good i really need to yell about it! historical accuracy!! the way they’ve made their mark in history!! a really interesting interpretation of that scene in the desert!! quynh in chapter two alone is one of the best things that i’ve ever read!! angst and humor and godliness with our immortal wives making it through it all :”) 

[gracefulweather]

omg you did?? u have to tell me who u pull when it arrives !!

time does fly 😭 i really can't believe 2021 is almost over

tysm ! i hope you're doing well too !! ☺ yess i'm trying to find time to work on the new au haha and i keep changing the damn plot 😭 omg 😳🥺 the ateez smau, i haven't officially made a decision yet, but i think when the semester is over i'll upload the rest of what i have...and go from there ! also ty for reading 🥺

also ! i have seen 2 people fall off of their skateboards on campus and i think of ur sunwoo fic every single time i do haha

oh ! that site does work ! i'll definitely read it now when i get the chance ! that would probably be best, esp bc we dont get s2 until next december 🥲

arisa is so interesting, i love it ! like every single chapter is so amazing and mysterious akfhslfja

i wanna watch us now 👀

you stayed up?? :O i agree, they are releasing so much its so hard to keep up with, i wanna watch dnd and timeout ! esp w the new maverick series ! but i also hate how a lot of the content is only on universe :(

being a multi is so difficult 😭 i barely watch mvs in a timely matter anymore :")

halloween was fun and movies are always a good time !

exactly ! the details of their performances are insane ! yes yes yes to all ur favs ! all of the groups outdid themselves truly 😌 year end awards...im nervous 😳

ur right, the storybook ver is so cute 🥺 i loved all 3 songs too ! and i agree, the mv was good but i think they could've added more story or something

THE LITTLE BAD RAP SUPREMACY 😭😭 it is so addictive

omg yes 🥲 the stylists have been going tf off this era and i am living for it

yesss i'm so excited omg should be here sometime this week i think!! (i hope...) but did yours arrive yet?

oooh what is the plot about 👀 have only gathered that it'll be dark... and sad... with evil characters LOOL. and yes i love ur ateez smau 🥺 i sometimes find it hard to get into smaus in general but the mystery has me hooked for that one <3 oh yeah speaking of ateez, thoughts on the world tour? i'm still holding onto my 2020 tickets rn but likeeee the thought of being in such a large crowd still sounds risky to me 😭

FALLING OFF SKATEBOARDS ADKJDKJF omg every time i get random bruises i think of it :')

oooh yeah heard that they haven't even started filming borderland s2 yet 😭 oh did you watch hellbound? it's so popular rn but i didn't think it was thaaat good.... deffs a cool concept tho. but YEAHHH i wanna start arisa soon!!

was dnd the one on universe? the app actually sucks :(( i know some fanbases have been subbing/uploading it elsewhere but it seems like the vids keep getting taken down 😭 the new maverick series is so cool omg i love all the brain twisters and puzzles they do!! really hope IST decides to keep putting eng subs on their videos 😔

ahh the multi life :') how do you decide which group/member to write for?? it's hard enough choosing amongst even just one group LOL

omg i heard one of the members say that they're gonna do one of the rtk/kingdom performances at the fancon??? i'm still hoping for drink it at least once... somewhere :') and yeahh i thought the mv would be a whole storyline like golcha's mvs these days but it's nice that we got to see some acting!!

but yeahHH maverick era ended so fast </3 do you ever feel like the promo periods are too short though? i remember back in the day everyone would promote on music shows for at least a month, but i guess they're preparing end of year stuff already :')