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bteezxyewriter12 · 12 days

Text

War

Pairing- Jungkook x Named Reader

Word count- 14.2k

Includes- One of my favorite fics I've written, historical fiction, war, battles, violence, death, blood, injuries, sex, pool sex, wall sex, cock riding, multiple orgasms, fluff, side characters from TV show Vikings

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

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J POV

I am anxious while I get ready for battle. We landed on this island a few days ago. Ragnar went to speak to the King of this island, threatening war unless we are paid to leave

Same as always

I began to notice the more we travel east from Denmark the more well protected the kingdoms are. This kingdom is behind very high walls that surround it. Similar to the walls of Paris. We were not able to get into there either. Ragnar had to fake his death for us to get in and raid the city.

His special slave that he took from there told him about the island she was taken from. How far it was. How rich it was. How the king would never surrender to him

And naturally Ragnar wanted to raid it. Lagertha did not join Ragnar this time but his sons came along. Bjorn Ironside, Ubbe, Hvitserk, Sigurd snake in the eye and Ivar the boneless

Ivar is my husband. Ragnar married me to him because I am one of his war generals and Ivar is actually in love with me. And Ivar does not love anyone

I love him but I am not in love. He is not my soulmate and I am not his either. But we both married with the understanding that if we find our soulmates we would separate. Although I think it will be hard for him. He does not like to give up what is his. Or share

It is said that soulmates are incapable of physically harming each other. That sounds ridiculous

One of the maid doing my hair in braids pulls my hair hard and I yelp

"I am sorry", she says worryingly

"Is she hurting you?", Ivar asks, coming inside the tent

He is using the contraption he built so he can walk. The maid stiffens behind me and I know she is afraid. Ivar is known for being ruthless and anything or anyone who hurts me dies

"No", I answer

"Are you sure Joanne?"

"Yes Ivar, of course I'm sure", I assure him

The maid finish my hair and I get up to get dressed. I take off my dress and start pulling on my pants. When I turn around, Ivar is smirking at me

I raise my eyebrows, "Like what you see?"

"Always. It is too bad we have to go fight or I would have you right now"

"There is always tonight", I say

People always made fun of Ivar because he had one bad experience with Margrethe. And she told everyone. But I can tell anyone that Ivar has no problem getting stiff and having sex. He is really good at it. And he makes me scream all the time

"I do not want to wait that long", he complains

I shrug, "After battle then"

He nods. One of the maids helps me wrap my chest tightly with cloth, then helps with my shirt and leather armor.I put my daggers and axe on the belt Ivar made for me

I am good with throwing knives and he made me a belt that can hold ten at once. I take my sword and attach it to the belt as well. Checking to make sure I have an adequate amount of arrows, I sling the quiver over my back, then grab my bow and shield

"You are a fearsome shieldmaiden, love", Ivar says, looking at me

I smile at him, "So are you. Well fearsome warrior, not shieldmaiden"

He smiles too

"Ready?", I ask

He nods and I wait for him to put his braces on. He stands, kisses me and we walk outside

-----------

Ragnar returns a few minutes later and tells us we are going into battle now. The seer calls the war generals to him, so I walk over along with Ivar. The seer sacrifices a goat and he dips his fingers in the blood, then runs his hand down the first war general's face. When he gets to me, I don't move back, letting him drag the blood down my face

The blood feels warm on my skin and the smell fills my nose. When I move my mouth I can taste the coppery taste of the blood since it was on my lips too. This is nothing new, this is done before every battle. When that's done, I walk back to Ivar who is in his horse and chariot now

"Come love, ride with me for now", he asks

I nod and climb in the chariot too. There is plenty of room. Ragnar gives the signal and we start marching towards the wall

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Jungkook POV

I cannot believe I have to fight today. Why would king Yoongi not just pay the heathens and spare our lives? And I have to fight. I am one of his war generals

I saw the king of the people who came here when he went to speak to king Yoongi. I was in the room with them. Northmen they are called. We know about them because of Namjoon, who acts as an interpreter. Once king Yoongi heard of these northmen raiding surrounding cities, he told Namjoon to learn all about them and learn their language. He was able to translate between the king whose name is Ragnar and king Yoongi.

They apparently cause massive destruction and are skilled in battle and war. They have successfully raided many cities and overthrew many kings around their country and beyond

Ragnar became king by killing the former king and taking his place

And they successfully raided the surrounding kingdoms near us. King Yoongi refused Ragnar's terms and after Ragnar left, king Yoongi called the army to gather and prepare to fight

I do not want to fight

We will have to fight outside the walls and that always makes me nervous. If we fall, then the northmen may be able to knock down the walls or find a way in. I will not let that happen

Standing outside the walls of my city, I hold my sword and shield waiting for the opposing army to come. I know King Yoongi is up on the wall looking down, watching

A few minutes later, I see people begin to appear. They look just like their king

Long hair, long beards, leather armor. And they are huge men. They could wipe out a few of our soldiers at a time. They stop a good distance away. Someone walks to the front of the faction that is in front of me. I do a double take. Is that...

A woman?

I look closer. It is. It is a woman. They let their women fight?

She looks like a warrior, with her shield and array of weapons. She is wearing the same leather armor as the men, her dark hair up, blood on her face

It is then that I look around the army and see other women standing among the men. This is insane. We are supposed to kill women?

Ragnar yells something to king Yoongi. I hear Namjoon yell something back in their language. Ragnar shrugs then says something to his army

A few men step forward. And the girl with the blood on her face does too. She hands her shield to the warrior next to her, taking an arrow and putting it in her bow. The men do the same. They will never reach us, they are too far away. The men shoot their arrows at us but they fall feet short of us

I watch the girl and she points her bow to our archers on the wall. There is no way she can make that hit. She lets the arrow loose and I watch it sail over us and hit one of our archers in the chest. He topples forward and falls off the wall

I stand there shocked and watch another arrow take another of our archers. I turn back to the girl. She is firing her arrows in rapid succession. And she is hitting her target every time. How is she this good with a bow? She is going to take out our archers on this side

"She is killing all our archers!", I hear one of the men say

"How is she able to make the shot?"

"She should not be able to. Maybe she's a witch"

"Why is she there in the first place? Women should not be fighting"

"Be quiet", I snap

They are not wrong with their questions but now is not the time to lose focus

"Focus on the army in front of you", I order

Their army is out of range for our archers although we try to fire at them. The girl walks along her army, firing arrows at the wall. I watch her as she moves and notice she is down to her last arrow. That quiver was full of arrows when she started. She killed that many people already and the battle hasn't even started yet. She walks back to the warrior holding her shield, takes it from him and pulls out her sword. Honestly she frightens me a bit

Ragnar gives a signal and she shouts, marching forward. The faction of the army behind her follows her. Is she...a war leader? A woman is a war leader? I see more men all along the army leading their faction towards us. Including Ragnar. Which is strange to me. A king who fights alongside their army? But I cannot keep my eyes off the woman, marching towards us

Quickly glancing at the wall behind me, I see that some archers survived her attack. We will be able to kill some of them now. Once her and her warriors reach the archer range, I wait to see them fall

But she shouts something and all the warriors run together building a wall out of their shields. And the arrows hit the shields instead of the warriors. My mouth drops. I have never seen anything like that in my life

We are all dead

--------------------------------

J POV

"Shieldwall", I shout and in a few seconds, shields surround me and my warriors

"Forward", I shout and we walk more towards the opposing army

I hear the arrows hitting the shields. I took out as many of their archers as I could. But I knew some were still there, hiding from me. I peer through a small hole in the shield to see. I do not look for too long. I do not want to get hit in the face if an arrow makes it through

When I look again, the other army is close and we are almost ready to break off. Just a few more steps. Finally we are close enough that the arrows stop to avoid hitting their army.

"Break!", I yell and all the shields move

We all run towards the army, swords swinging. I hold my shield up and swing my sword down into the man in front of me. It goes into his shoulder and I pull down with all my strength, cutting down to his chest. Blood sprays in my face, on my armor and shield. I pull up as the man falls, releasing my sword

I turn, swinging again and hitting another man in the back. I see a sword coming towards me and I raise my shield, the sword hitting the shield. The impact sends shockwaves down my arm but I do not drop my shield. I am used to this. I love this. I was born to fight.

I stab my sword towards the man and bury it in his stomach. Pulling out the sword, I continue to fight through the men coming at me. Using my shield I slam it into the man in front of me, knocking him down, while I stab my sword into another. I look up seeing a man further away from me, swinging his sword and killing my men easily. He blocks all hits with his shield and hits his mark every time with his sword

He's an excellent fighter. And he's beautiful. Too bad I need to take him out. But I have to kill everyone in front of me first

Raising my sword I swing it down but the man in front of me blocks my hit with his sword. I keep fighting with him, waiting for him to make a mistake. He raises his arm with the sword but forgets to hold up his shield, leaving him open. I thrust my sword through his chest as hard as I can and it goes right into him, coming out of his back

Fuck. I have to let go of my sword. I cannot pull it out now. He falls forward and I let go of the hilt moving away. It is fine, I have fought without swords before. A man comes running at me and I swing my shield, slamming it across his face. He goes down and I raise the shield, slamming it down on his neck, decapitating him

I lift up the shield and when I look up across the field, I see the man who fights well, staring at me with anger in his eyes

I just smirk at him

--------------------------------

Jungkook POV

I cannot believe I just watched this woman decapitate one of my men with her shield. And when she saw me, she smiled. Anger like I never felt rises in me. She needs to die. She is good at fighting and is a huge threat. She lost her sword so she should be easier to kill

But as I watch her kill every one who goes against her with her shield, I know she will not go down easily. I have never seen anyone fight with a shield like that. These northmen really are ruthless and mad

I bury my sword into the man in front of me and pull it out as he falls back. Turning, I seeing one of my men fighting with another woman. He looks like he is trying to back away and not fight her. That will not work with these women. They are more violent than the men

"Kill her!", I yell at him

He looks at me for a moment, then nods. I hear a sword coming towards me and I spin slamming my sword up, hitting the one coming down. The man swings his sword again and I block it again. I decide to take the cue from the girl and slam my shield into the man. It works and he stumbles, allowing me to stab him in the chest. When I pull my sword out, he falls and I look back at my warrior to see him bury the sword in the women he was fighting

I look around and find the girl again. Her shield is now broken and she has no weapon. She grabs a piece of the wood and attacks one of my men, running at him while he is swinging his sword at her. These people have no fear, I realize. She dodges the sword and slams the wood in his chest, killing him. I watch her take out an axe and go into the next man. I cannot believe it. She's fighting with a small axe and killing everyone she fights

One of her warriors comes running at me and I raise my arm with my shield just in time to block the hit. Pain radiates down my arm and my shield breaks in half. Fuck. I let go of the rest of it and use both hands to swing my sword, decapitating the man. Blood is all over me and I grimace. I do not enjoy killing people like these northmen seem to. I need to find the girl and kill her

Fighting and killing everyone who comes in my way, I search for her. I find her again, seeing her throw a knife and it landing in the forehead of one of our soldiers. She turns to one of my men coming at her too late and he stabs his sword in her shoulder, some of it coming out of the back

She does not scream and I watch in horror as she grabs the sword and pulls it out of her shoulder. My warrior stares at her in horror as well and she takes the chance to strike. She swings her arm, cutting his throat with her axe. And she keeps moving and fighting, like she did not just get a major wound. We are not going to win. These people are brutal. And it is like they do not feel pain

She throws her axe, burying it in one man then spins and throws a knife into another. I watch her run to another of my men, punching him right in the face. She lifts her leg and kicks him in the side, then smashes her foot in his kneecap. He goes down and she goes behind him, her hands on his neck. She pulls her hands in opposite directions snapping his neck

I cannot believe I just watched a woman do that. As he falls to the side, she jumps over him and grabs his sword, then turns to fight another. There is no more time to waste now and I start walking towards her

Cutting down anyone who gets in my way, I am solely focused on her. She is finally a few feet away from me, fighting against another of my men. She slams the sword in the side of his neck then pulls it out as he falls

"You!", I shout

She turns and looks at me. And even through all the blood on her, I realize she is absolutely beautiful. Large deep eyes, long hair in intricate braids, small nose. Then she smiles and I get so angry for thinking that when she is killing all my men. I start walking towards her when I see her throw a dagger at me

Shit

I have no shield and I wait for the pain. But as I watch the dagger comes closer it passes right through me. What? I glance behind me quickly to see the dagger landed in the dirt a few feet behind me. No blood on it. I look down at my shirt and there is no blood, no pain

Oh shit. I look back up at the girl covered in blood

She is my soulmate

--------------------------------

J POV

I stare in horror as the dagger I threw at the man I want so badly to kill, pass right through him

He is not...

He cannot be....

He is not my soulmate?

Surely I missed and confused what I saw

But...I never miss

Ever

No, it is not true

I growl and swing the sword, running at him, pain exploding in my shoulder but I ignore it. I will not let that slow me down. Lagertha taught me to fight through pain

As soon as I get close, he brings his sword up and stops mine. He maneuvers his sword trying to hit me with it but I block it with my sword. We keep fighting with both of us trying to get the upper hand and failing. I let out a frustrated scream, and swing the sword into his side

We both watch in horror as my sword passes right through his body. There is no blood, no wound, nothing. And he is not screaming. This is NOT happening. It is not

I hear footsteps and see one of the enemy warriors run at me.bMoving back from the other man, my soul...no he is not, I face off with the other fighter, still shaken by not being able to kill the other man. I fight the man in front of me but I move too slowly to block the sword and I feel pain burst in my side and along my stomach. I look down to see blood spilling from the slash wound he made with his sword. I am shocked he was able to do this and I watch him swing the sword again. I block it but not fast enough and it cuts into the side of my torso. I stifle a scream and punch the man in the face. Then I plunge the sword into his chest, burying it to the hilt. I let go of the sword and shove the body aside

Then I turn to the other man and run at him, ignoring the pain

He swings his sword but I duck and his momentum turns his body to the side. I kick at the sword making him let it go. I grab his shoulder and pull him back to face me. I punch him across the jaw but my hand passes through him

"What the fuck?", I yell

I do not see his hand come up as he tries to punch me in the face. I see his hand and I know it went into my face but I do not feel any pain

This is not real. I move back from him and try to kick him in the stomach. My leg passes into him but it is like he is a ghost. He makes no sound of pain and just looks up at me. He is real, I know he is real, I touched his shoulder

I grab his wrist, feeling him to make sure he is real. He grabs my other arm, feeling me as well. He says something but I do not understand his language. He looks at me then back down. He raises his hand to my side wound, looking back up at me. I raise my eyebrow but I do not stop him

He touches my wound and presses on it. But it does not hurt. I slap his hand away and I press on my wound. Pain slices through me and I yell bending over, squeezing his arm that my other hand is still on

I look up at him and he is looking at me in fear. He grabs my other arm and helps me right myself up. I move my hand gesturing him to press on the wound again. He hesitates but then he touches me and this time I watch. I feel his hand on the wound, on my skin. But as soon as he presses, his fingers pass through my translucent skin and there is not any pain

Holy shit, he is my soulmate

He pulls his hand away and starts yelling in his language

"Joanne!", I hear someone yell my name

I turn to see Ragnar staring at me

"Kill him!", he shouts

"I...I cannot!"

"What, why not? Snap his neck!"

"I cannot. He is...he is...", I stammer, looking at the man

"He is what?"

"He is my soulmate. I cannot hurt him. It does not work! He does not feel any pain when I try to hit him. My sword passes right through him"

"What the hell?"

I turn my head to Ragnar

"And I do not feel anything when he tries to hit me"

"Fine, I will kill him", Ragnar bellows, coming towards him

The man picks up his sword getting ready to fight. No, this man is no match for Ragnar. No one has ever gone against Ragnar and won. I watch Ragnar come closer and raise his sword. Without thinking, I pick up a sword from the ground. As soon as Ragnar is close enough he brings the sword down towards the man. I run and step in front of him, raising my sword and stopping Ragnar's sword with mine

"What are you doing?", Ragnar roars

"I.....you cannot kill him.", I answer, "He is my soulmate"

Ragnar looks at me in disbelief. What the hell am I doing? How can I be defending this man? This enemy? I should not be but he is my soulmate. I cannot let him die. And if I have to protect him from my side, my family, I will. And I cannot believe I am willing to do this for someone I do not know. Turn my back on everything I know. But I will

--------------------------------

Jungkook POV

I stare in shock as the girl runs in front of me and raises her sword against her king. To protect me. She blocks his sword and he starts yelling at her. She talks back to him and I hear the panic in her voice even though I don't know what she is saying. I realize the huge risk she is taking to protect me. She is turning her back on her king, her people, her country. And he could kill her for it

I watch them argue, him yelling at her, her speaking lowly and in fear. He then looks at her and asks her something. I hear her speak, her voice sad but firm. Ragnar lets out a yell, lowering his sword. She lowers hers too but then he punches her across the face, shouting something. She sways to the side and I do not know why but I pull her to me and hold my sword out towards him

"Do not touch her!", I yell

As much as I know I should let him kill her, I cannot watch her die. She is my soulmate. I cannot let her be killed, especially for protecting me. Ragnar looks at me in fury but I keep a tight grip on her and start walking backwards. She comes with me but I do not take my eyes off Ragnar. I call out for the rest of my men and they move in front of me as I pull the girl with me. The battle is dying down right now. I need to get her inside. She needs the medics to look at her

Ragnar gives me a nasty look, then calls something out. His men listen to him and they slowly back away. For now

"Open the gate! Now", I yell

I tell my men, "Stay out here until they all leave"

The gate opens and I go inside with the girl. Once inside she moves away from me and falls on the floor

"I need a medic!", I yell, "Get one now!"

"Jungkook"

Shit. I turn and see King Yoongi staring at me from up on the wall

"Do you want to tell me what the fuck you are doing?"

"Please your majesty, please let a medic help her and I will tell you anything you want"

I don't know why but I am terrified of her dying

He stares at me, "Fine. Bring her to the palace and have Hoseok and Seokjin take care of her. I will be there soon and you better have a good explanation for this"

I nod, "Thank you"

I kneel next to the girl and look at her. I know she will not understand me but I talk to her anyway

"Can you come with me? I am bringing you to get your wounds fixed"

She looks up at me and she is crying. I feel my heart hurt for her. She just left everything behind when she came in here. I do not know if she can walk so I gently put my arms around her. She doesn't push me off so I keep moving, picking her up as I stand. She lays her head on my shoulder and cries more. I hurry to the palace as fast as I can

------------

I watch as Hoseok sews the wound on her side and Seokjin works on her shoulder. She does not scream or make a sound as they work. Does it not hurt? Does she not feel pain?

No, she does, I saw when she pressed on her wound and the sound she made. Is she trained to not focus on the pain? The other warriors did not seem to feel pain either. Hoseok finishes then pulls a metal dagger from the fire. He lays it on her side to cauterize the wound. The girl grimaces and she starts breathing heavily. After, Hoseok gives it to Jin and starts cleaning her slash that is across her side to her stomach. Jin presses the dagger on her shoulder wound, then puts it back in the fire

"Jungkook", King Yoongi says as he enters the room

I stand up and bow to him. Hoseok and Seokjin do as well

"Get up all of you", he snaps, then turns to me, "You better start explaining why she is inside my kingdom and in my palace no less. And what you were doing with her on the battlefield"

"She is my soulmate"

"What?", Hoseok gasps, looking up at me

"Fix her wound!", I yell

He scowls but he turns back to her. Seokjin gently moves her shoulder and starts cleaning the wound on the back of her shoulder

"Start speaking", King Yoongi demands

I quickly explain what happened when she threw the dagger at me and when we fought. Then I tell him about what happened when she touched her wound and when I did

"I really cannot physically hurt her. It is just like the stories and texts say."

"Prove it", King Yoongi says

"Now?"

She is being tended to by the medics

"Yes now", he snaps walking towards her

"Move", he tells Seokjin

Seokjin stands aside and I move quickly to the girl's side. King Yoongi presses on the wound Seokjin is fixing. The one on the back of her shoulder. She yells in pain and glares at King Yoongi

"She feels pain. Now you touch her"

I'm not comfortable with this but I can disobey an order from my king

She looks pissed off, so I tell her, "It is alright"

She looks at me, then turns away. I put my hand on her arm. Then I press my fingers into her wound. Her skin goes translucent and my fingers pass through her. She does not move or make a sound

"Oh my god", Seokjin gasps

"The same thing happens when she tries to hurt me", I tell them

"Fine she is your soulmate. Why is she here?", King Yoongi demands

Was he not watching how Ragnar was going to kill her? How could he think I would let that happen?

"Because she tried to protect me. When Ragnar came to kill me she grabbed a sword, stepped in front of me and stopped Ragnar. They argued and I knew that he would kill her for what she did and probably what she was saying to him. When he punched her in the face, I could not let him hurt her. So I brought her with me", I explain

"Without asking me"

"I had to make a quick decision. I am sorry", I answer

"Why should I not kill her right now?", he asks menacingly

Because she would probably get up and kill him. I have seen her fight, close up, with the wounds she has still bleeding. He has not. She can kill everyone in this room in minutes. But I cannot say that

"Because she is my soulmate. Because by protecting me she turned her back on Ragnar and her country. She has no where to go.", I reason

"So I should just throw her out and let Ragnar kill her"

"If you do then I am going with her", I answer

I do not know when I decided this but once I said it I realize it is true. If he makes her leave, I am going with her

King Yoongi stares at me in shock

"You would leave here, you're home, your position in my army to follow her? A heathen Northman?"

I know he is going to get angry but now that I found her, I cannot let her go. I just cannot

"Yes"

King Yoongi turns from me and I know he is calming himself down

"Get Namjoon. She needs to start talking"

A guard in the room bows then leaves

I sit next to her while Hoseok and Seokjin still fix her remaining wounds. She does not look at me, just at the wall. I want to comfort her so I take her hand. And I am surprised but glad to feel her squeeze mine

--------------------------------

J POV

The two healers finish working on me . I do not move, I just lay down, holding my soulmate's hand. I do not know why I have not shoved his hand away but I do not want to. Holding his hand is making things a little bit better. I cannot believe I rose a sword against Ragnar. That is treason and betrayal. I know that I can never go back. Not after that. If I do they will kill me . And not quickly. I will be killed by the blood eagle. I rather kill myself

Why did I protect this man? Why? Ragnar retreated today but he will be back. And Ivar will come for me

I do not know if he would want me back or want to kill me. Either way Ragnar will never let me live. Whether it would be a public execution or a secret one, I am dead if I go back

A few minutes later another man comes inside the room. The king starts talking fast. I know he is angry I am here

I understand. I am the enemy. But the man, my soulmate, is fighting to keep me here. I do not understand him but I know that is what he is doing

The man who just came in talks to my soulmate. He nods then looks at me, saying something I do not understand softly. He has a nice voice. He makes a move to put his arms around me. I do not know why but I trust him. He helps me sit up, pain filling my body. The wounds hurt but I have been hurt worse before

He helps me stand and walks with me to another room. In this room there's a large table with an intricate chair. A throne. For the king

There are regular chairs around the table. The king sits down on the throne and motions for us to sit down. The man helps me get to a chair and helps me sit down. He sits next to me and then holds my hand. And I like it. What is wrong with me?

"I am Namjoon", the man from before says in my language

How the fuck does he know it?

"How do you know what I speak?", I ask

"I studied your language and culture when we found out your people were attacking kingdoms around ours"

So they knew we were coming

"What is your name?"

"Joanne. Joanne Lothbrok", I answer, "Who is your king?"

I do not know his name. It never mattered before, I never needed to know the name of the kings we raided

I did not care

"King Min, Yoongi"

"King Min?"

Stupid name

"No. Min is his last name. He is King Yoongi"

Alright, why did he not just fucking say that?

I look at my soulmate, "What is his name?"

"Jungkook", my soulmate answers, "Jeon, Jungkook"

Strange name

"Jungkook", I repeat

He nods, then points at me, "Joanne?"

I nod. He smiles and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I cannot tear my eyes away

King Yoongi starts talking to Namjoon

"King Yoongi wants to know why you are fighting since you are a woman?"

I roll my eyes, turning to Namjoon. This is the same question every King has asked

"I am a shieldmaiden. In our kingdom the women fight as well as men. We are trained as well. Not all women are shieldmaidens but all women know how to use a sword. To protect the home when the men are raiding"

Namjoon turn to his king and speaks in their language. The king answers then Namjoon turns back to me

"How important are you in the army? You led a group of men to battle"

"I am a war general in Ragnar's army"

"How did you become a war general?", he asks

"Because I am good at fighting and killing. I am his best shieldmaiden, the best out of his warriors"

"How did you become the best?"

"Because I was trained by his first wife Lagertha"

I wait while he translates to King Yoongi

"Your name is not like theirs"

"No. I was taken by Lagertha when they raided Northumbria, when I was five. Before that, I was taken from my home in Rome when the king of Northumbria came on a pilgrimage to see the pope. I was sold by my parents to the king to become a maid when I was three"

"They raised you then? The northmen?"

"Yes"

"Are you Christan?"

"No. I adopted the northmen gods and goddess. I believe in them"

Again I wait for Namjoon to translate

I watch Jungkook's face as he listens to Namjoon. He looks surprised but at what I do not know

"Why should king Yoongi not return you to your people?"

I do not know. I cannot answer that. He should not keep me here. He should throw me back to them. It is what I would do. He does not seem to be like Ragnar who's interested in other cultures. Ragnar took Athelstan when he first raided Northumbria and they were close friends. I doubt King Yoongi would do that

"The only thing I can say is that they will kill me much more brutally than your king will."

"How?"

"By the blood eagle"

"What is that?"

I explain to him how the blood eagle works. The cutting of the back of the skin, the breaking of the ribs with an axe, then pulling out the lungs and placing them on the back. His face pales as I go on

"And if I want to be welcomed in Valhalla, I cannot make a sound while it is happening"

"Valhalla?"

I nod, "Where all warriors and shieldmaidens go after death to await Ragnarok"

He looks at me confused and I sigh explaining, "The end of our world"

"Has this, blood eagle been done before?", he chokes out

I nod

"Yes to a jarl who betrayed Ragnar. I witnessed it. And what I did was betrayal and treason just like the jarl"

I watch Namjoon turn to King Yoongi and start explaining what I told him. King Yoongi's eyebrow raises as he listens. But Jungkook starts yelling something and I can tell he is upset by his tone. King Yoongi barks at him but he keeps arguing. King Yoongi slams his fist on the table and Jungkook stops talking. Silence fills the room before I start talking

"What did Jungkook say?"

"He was expressing that King Yoongi could not let you go back and be killed that way. That there was no way that he would let you go back to that"

I look back at Jungkook and he shakes his head, talking to me

"It is ok", I tell him

He shakes his head again

"Joanne, is Ragnar going to leave? He retreated today"

I take a breath. These people have no idea how ruthless he is

"No. He will not leave until you give him what he asks for or until he breaks in and raids the kingdom. And he may demand me"

"You?"

"Yes. My husband will demand to have me returned as well. For execution or to stay with him I do not know"

"You are married?"

I nod, "I am married to Ragnar's son, Ivar the boneless"

"Why is he called boneless?"

I explain to him Ivar's condition. Then his personality

"When he wants something, he will stop at nothing to get it. And he will want me back. He is worse than Ragnar in that regard"

Namjoon sighs, then turns to tell King Yoongi what I said. I guess he gets to the part with Ivar, because Jungkook turns to me and asks me a question, surprised

Namjoon finishes translating then says, "Jungkook wants to know if you love Ivar"

I talk to Namjoon but I look at Jungkook, "No. I care about him but I do not love him. I was never in love with him or anyone else before"

He tells Jungkook what I said and Jungkook talks again

"He is asking why you married him"

I sigh, "You do not know Ivar. When he wants something he gets it. No matter the cost or what he has to do. He is ruthless. He has never been violent to me but I have seen him be to others. And he had never loved anything or anyone before. And he fell in love with me. There is no way he will let me go. And I never thought I would find my soulmate, so I married him"

Namjoon speaks to Jungkook but he just looks at me, in my eyes. Jungkook speaks to me as he looks at me

"He is asking if you will stay with him. He promises to protect you and keep you safe. But only if you want that"

I don't hesitate

I nod, "Yes"

I do not know why but I do not want to leave him. And I will not, if I can help it

--------------------------------

Jungkook POV

She nods when I ask her to stay with me. I will protect her and keep her safe for as long as I live

She talks to me and Namjoon translates what she is saying, "I will stay with you and protect you as well."

I smile because I know she can. I saw her fight

"Excuse me. Are you not forgetting that she needs my permission to stay?", King Yoongi hisses

I look over to him, "I am sorry your majesty but where she is, I will be. So either she stays here with me or I go with her"

King Yoongi narrows his eyes, "Fine. But if she stays she fights against her people."

I am shocked

"You cannot ask her to do that!"

"I can if she wants to stay", King Yoongi snarls, "Namjoon translate now"

Namjoon tells her about fighting against Ragnar. Her eyes widen and she starts speaking rapidly. I wish I could speak her language

"She says she cannot do that. She could never kill the people she grew up with, who took her in and loved her"

"Then she leaves", King Yoongi answers

"And I will too", I growl

"You will not. You are a war general in my army. You will not follow her", he orders

That's an order I cannot follow. She defied her king for me. Now I am going to do the same

"I am sorry majesty but I am going with her. You cannot stop me"

King Yoongi raises his eyebrows

"Guards, take the prisoner"

My heart fills with dread. Guards come and grab her by both arms. She struggles against them but they get her hands behind her and shackle them. She starts yelling in her language

"What is she saying?", King Yoongi demands

Namjoon is looking at her as he speaks, "She is saying she is going to kill us all. That none of us will survive"

At that moment, she slams her head back into the chin of the guard behind her. The guard stumbles back and she lifts her arms, contorting her body like. I have never seen before until she gets her arms back in front of her. I have never seen anything like that. It is like she does not have bones. The other guard comes at her but she side steps him, kicking him in his side. As he doubles over, she grabs his head and slams his head into her knee

She is absolutely amazing

He groans falling to his knees. She goes behind him and snaps his neck easily. King Yoongi is standing there unamused and Namjoon is in pure shock. The other guard gets up and runs to her. She throws a punch, her fist slamming his face, blood bursting from his nose

"Oh my god", Namjoon whispers, terrified as he watches her

She goes behind the guard and throws the chain that is attached to her shackles over his head. She pulls back the chain against his throat, crossing the chains and choking him

"Stop", King Yoongi yells

She shouts at him as the guard desperately tries to get the chain off. He leans forward but she presses her knee against his back and keeps pulling the chain

"What is she saying?", King Yoongi yells

"That she is coming for you next", Namjoon whispers

"Guard. Go to Jungkook and hold him there", King Yoongi orders

What?

Suddenly there is a guard behind me and a sword against my neck

"Joanne!", King Yoongi shouts

She lifts her head up and sees me, yelling

"She says stop, do not hurt Jungkook", Namjoon yells

"Then tell her to let the guard go and stop fighting!"

Namjoon translates and she answers

"She wants to know if you will leave Jungkook alone and alive if she stops fighting"

"Yes"

Namjoon translates. She lets go of the guard, who gasps for breath and steps away

"Take her to the prison", King Yoongi orders

"No!", I yell

"Stay there. Do not move", King Yoongi growls

The guard gets up from the floor and turns to her. He punches her across the face, her head snapping to the side

"Stop!", I cry, horrified

She slowly turns to the guard, fire in her eyes. She spits blood from her mouth in his face. He yells and hits her again

"Stop! Stop him! Please", I shout

"Enough. Take her. Now", King Yoongi demands

I watch as the guard grabs the chains and pulls, making her follow him. And I cannot do anything. He is going to hurt her because of me. She will not fight back to keep me alive. King Yoongi makes a gesture and the sword is removed from my neck

"Give her back to me", I shout

He raises an eyebrow, "No. You know my demand for her to stay"

"That is not fair to ask of her. I would never fight against you or any of my men if they had taken me! Why would you expect her too?"

"Because she wants to stay with you. Let me make this clear, I have no use for her. Whether she lives or dies is not my concern. She came here with her fucking army. She slaughtered more than half of your faction. She killed one guard so easily and almost killed another. She threatened to kill me. And you want me to let her run around free? No, that will not happen"

I understand where he is coming from. He is the king, he needs to protect himself and his kingdom. But I do not care about that, I care about her

"She will not be running free. She will be with me. In my home. Away from you"

"And you will be there with her, will you not?"

I nod. I will be

"That does not work for me. I need you here, leading your part of the army. You need to stay here"

"So you are leaving her in a cell?", I cry

"For now. I have not decided if I am giving her back to Ragnar or not. Or if I am going to keep her alive."

I am so scared he is going to have her killed and I will not be there to protect her. And he cannot give her back to Ragnar. I cannot let her die by the way they will kill her. The blood eagle. I was horrified hearing about how it is done. That she cannot make a sound or she will not enter Valhalla upon death. Or that she actually witnessed that being done to someone. I cannot imagine watching that

"If I stay, then keep her alive. Please"

"You are staying regardless of what I do with her."

"Please your majesty. Please do not kill her", I beg

He stares at me for some time, then says, "I will not kill her for now"

"Thank you"

I am not stupid, I know he can go back on his word whenever he feels like it

"May I see her?", I ask

"Not now. Tomorrow."

I just nod. I know if I ask for anything else, he will just get angry. And he does things without thinking when he is angry

"Go check on your men and see whose still alive"

Then he turns away from me and walks out of the room. Namjoon is about to leave when I stop him

"Yes?", he asks

"Teach me her language", I say

He nods

🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

The Next Day

Jungkook POV

I am impatiently pacing in the meeting room we were all in yesterday. Namjoon is here and I am waiting for King Yoongi and Joanne. I was summoned here today to talk with her again

Yesterday after she was taken from me, I had Namjoon teach me some phrases and words in her language along with some answers she might give. It is not much but at least I can ask her if she is alright and know what she is saying. He has agreed to teach me some of her language everyday. King Yoongi walks in and we all bow

"Sit", he commands

Namjoon and I sit in the same seats as we did yesterday

King Yoongi sits and speaks to me, "I want you to talk to her. I decided she does not have to fight against her people in battle. But she must tell us a way to make them go away or defeat them. And she seems the most receptive to you"

I nod. I can do that. She is still betraying her people but she will not be doing it in physical combat. Although I already know she is going to refuse. I would

"Where is she?", I ask

"She is being brought to us"

We wait a few minutes and the wait is killing me. I hear chain noises and I look up to the doorway. A guard comes in first, then her. And I gasp when I see her. She looks so much worse than yesterday. Her face is bruised all over, her lip is split and she has a bloody bandage wrapped around her upper arm. She has dirt all over her skin and her hair is unbraided and a little messy. She is dragged to the chair next to me and forced roughly into the chair

"Joanne", I whisper

She turns to me

When she sees me she smiles, "Jungkook"

I feel so much happiness when she says my name

"What happened?", I ask in her language

She raises an eyebrow and asks something. Namjoon answers and her smile widens. She talks to me but I only pick up a few words- me, he, hurt

"She says she was hit over and over by the guard she tried to kill. He cut her arm and threw her in a cell. Her body hurts but she's alive"

"I am sorry", I whisper in her language

She shakes her head, talking while Namjoon translates, "No Jungkook, it is not your fault. I said I would protect you and I will keep my promise"

She should not have to protect me. I should be protecting her. She was hurt and I was not there. Again. I look down and she takes my hands, holding on tightly, speaking

"She says do not blame yourself. She does not blame you"

I look back up at her and gently touch the side of her face, nodding. I still blame myself but I will not show it to her

"Jungkook, talk to her about what I told you too", King Yoongi demands impatiently

I sigh but I speak with Namjoon translating

"My king says you do not have to fight against your people"

She nods

"But he wants you to tell us a way to make them go away or how to defeat them"

Sadness enters her face as she speaks

"The only way to make them go away is to give them what they want. And I will not tell you how to defeat them. I will not be responsible for their deaths"

Glancing at King Yoongi, I can see the anger fill his face

"Take her back", he snarls

The guard grabs her by her arms and rips her away from me, hauling her out of the chair

"No. Joanne!", I yell, "Stop, please stop"

She struggles against the guard, yelling too

"Jungkook! Jungkook!"

"Take her!", King Yoongi yells

Another guard comes to help, each one taking one of her arms and dragging her back. I cannot help it, tears start falling as I watch her being torn away from me. I start moving towards her to get her from them

"Guards, hold him!", king Yoongi shouts

Two more guards move forward blocking my way and holding my arms

"Stay here Jungkook", king Yoongi barks, looking at me with barely controlled rage

But I am just as angry. The guards get her out of the room but I can still hear her screaming my name

"Jungkook!"

She is calling for me and I cannot do anything. Again

"Are you weeping?", King Yoongi asks incredulously

I don't answer and wipe my eyes

"Do you love her?", he questions

"Yes", I answer with no hesitation

I do. I do not know how I fell in love so fast. But I did the second I found out she is my soulmate. I feel complete now that I found her. I cannot explain the feeling. I just know I belong with her

"That is too bad", he sneers

"Www...why?"

Why? What is he going to do?

"Because I am giving her back to Ragnar"

"No. You cannot. You cannot", I cry, hysterically

"I can and I am"

"No. Please no. I...I cannot be without her!"

"You will have to be"

Then he stands and leaves the room

And I fall apart

🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

A Day Later

J POV

I open my eyes as my cell opens. The guard grumbles something at me, waving his hand up. I sit up, peering at the guard. He starts yelling but I have no idea what he is saying. All I know is the king is keeping me apart from Jungkook

I feel like I am dying inside. I want to stay with him. I love him. It happened so fast but I love him. And being away from him is killing me

The guard grabs the chains and yanks me up. I stumble to my feet and follow him. He walks fast pulling me behind him. I am trying to keep up with him but I am so tired. I am led outside, closing my eyes against the bright sun. I have not been outside in two days. I guess I am going back to Ragnar

People look at me as I follow the guard, whispering. I do not know what they are saying and I do not care either. The closer to the wall I get the more I hear. And what I hear sends chills down my spine

"I demand my wife back!"

It is Ivar. He came for me

"I will slaughter all of you if you do not give her back"

He will. He absolutely will. I am led up the stairs to the top of the wall, to King Yoongi. He glares at me, takes my chain from the guard and leads me to the edge. I can see everything from up here. And I see Ragnar's entire army with him and his sons at the front. Ivar is screaming for me, in his chariot

King Yoongi motions for Namjoon, who yells out, "She is right here"

I know Ivar sees me because he yells, "Joanne, I have come for you"

I have nothing to say. There is nothing to say

Then Ragnar yells, "You must give her back so she can answer for her crimes"

I knew it. They are going to kill me. I look down at King Yoongi's men and my heart stops. Jungkook is there, right in the front, just like he was the first time. Looking up at me. King Yoongi is making him fight. My heart breaks. Ragnar will aim for him. Kill him to spite me and then execute me

Namjoon yells, "If you get her back will you leave?"

Ragnar answers by yelling and charging with his army. I watch in horror as Jungkook gets ready for the first wave of my warriors as they crash into king Yoongi's men. Jungkook kills every man who comes in his way. He fights gracefully and efficiently, stabbing and cutting off heads

But I watch Ivar and Ragnar as well. Ivar is cutting through king Yoongi's army with his chariot and Ragnar is killing his way to Jungkook

"He is going to kill him", I whisper

"What?", Namjoon asks

"Ragnar, he is going to kill Jungkook. He is going straight to him", I answer pointing to Ragnar

Namjoon translates to King Yoongi, then speaks to me, "The king says that Jungkook will win. He is the best fighter"

I shake my head, "He will not. Ragnar has never lost. He has killed everyone he went up against. Jungkook will die"

Namjoon speaks to king Yoongi but the king does not say a word

I watch Ragnar get to Jungkook

"No", I shout

Jungkook turns to Ragnar and blocks Ragnar's sword

"Let me go!", I yell

Namjoon looks at me

"Tell him", I yell

He speaks to king Yoongi but the king shakes his head. I watch as Jungkook barely has time to duck under Ragnar's swing

"Let me go! If you do not he will die!"

Namjoon speaks and still King Yoongi shakes his head. Ragnar lunches at Jungkook in his face and he stumbles

I cannot watch this. I turn to the guard next to me. Grabbing his should I spin him to me, slam my fist in his face and grab his sword

"Undo the shackles now!", I scream, holding the sword at King Yoongi

He raises his eyebrows but nods. He does not need to understand me to know what I want. The guard who brought me, quickly steps to me and unlocks the shackles

I look at Namjoon, "Tell them to open the gate. Now"

He nods and yells in his language as I turn and run down the stairs. The gate opens just a little but it is enough for me to slip by. Ragnar lunches at Jungkook again and this time Jungkook falls back, slipping

Ragnar raises his sword and I run faster. Ragnar brings his sword down and I slide to them just in time to catch Ragnar's sword with mine. I use all my strength to push his sword away and punch him across the face

"Do not touch him!", I scream

He turns his head back to me, fury in his gaze

"You are protecting him! Against us who raised you!", he yells

He is trying to use that against me but I will not let him. I am not part of them

I was used by him. By Aslaug. By his sons. As a weapon

"You did not raise me. Lagertha did!"

"And you would betray her like this?"

I shake my head, "She taught me to follow my heart no matter what. And my heart belongs to him"

"You are not one of them!", Ragnar rages, "You are one of us"

"Not anymore"

I swing my sword at my once king. He is wrong. I belong to no one. I was sold by my parents. Then taken by them. I have always been alone, always an outsider. But now I have Jungkook and I am not leaving him. Lagertha taught me to not blindly follow anyone, to think for myself . And I am. And I will do anything to protect Jungkook

Ragnar stops my sword with his but I move aside bringing it up again. He barely has time to block it and he does but not before I slice his arm open. He looks down at his arm and roars in my face. He does not scare me. I punch him in the face, his eyes watering, then kick his side. He backhands me across the face and I stumble, landing on one knee. I hear the sound of a sword swinging and I bring up my arm, the clanging of my sword stopping his. I look up at Ragnar and growl

Pushing off my foot, I stand up quickly, shoving him back. Swinging my sword I slash at him but he blocks it again. We keep fighting, swords swinging but neither of us get the upper hand

"Joanne", I hear Jungkook yell

I do not turn around but I yell, "Keep fighting"

Hopefully he can get the meaning of my words. Ragnar pushes my sword off his and punches me in the stomach. I drop to my knees on the ground, sword at my side as I gasp for air

"I wish you would not make me do this", Ragnar says

I look up at him and watch him raise his sword above his head

"Joanne!", I hear Jungkook scream

"You will not", I tell Ragnar, then grab my sword and plunge it into his stomach

It is like the entire battle stops. His sword drops but I dodge it easily. I stand up holding on to the sword, with Ragnar looking at me surprised. I push the sword in more, burying it to the hilt. Ragnar nods at me. I see the life leave his eyes as he falls to the side

No one is moving. I turn my head to the wall, glaring at King Yoongi, who has surprise all over his face. Now he knows. I killed one king, I can kill another

"Joanne! What did you do?", I hear Bjorn yell, his eyes wide in shock

I meet his eyes and I see the rage in his face

"Attack!", he yells

I turn, running back to the wall, screaming at Namjoon

"Bow and arrows now!"

He grabs a quiver and bow from an archer and drops it down the wall. I run grabbing the bow and an arrow, then turn and train it on Bjorn, whose running at me. Aiming, I let the arrow loose and it buries right in his eye. He screams and goes down. I turn and stuff the arrows that fell out of the quiver back in quickly. Putting it over my back, I grab the bow

I need to kill the rest of Ragnar's sons. So there are none to avenge him

Quickly I look for Jungkook and he is fighting more of my former people. Then I run to Bjorn to make sure he is dead. When I get to him, I see the arrow went through the back of his head and he is gone. I grab his sword and put it in my belt to use later

Then I look for one of the sons. The first one I see is Ivar. I do not want to kill him. But I have to. He is the most ruthless of them all and he will want to avenge his father. I take aim and shoot at his horse. My arrow hits its flank and it falls. Ivar's head turns to me, fury on his face

"Joanne"

"Ivar"

"You killed my father and my brother. For one of them?", he screams

"Not just one of them Ivar. He is my soulmate. I am sorry but I have to"

Ivar's eyebrows shoot up, "Your soulmate. Him? You choose him over us?"

"Everytime"

I quickly notch an arrow, aim and let go. As I see the arrow hit through Ivar's neck, I feel excruciating pain in my hip, taking me down

--------------------------------

Jungkook POV

As I fight I watch her. I cannot believe she killed Ragnar. She actually killed him. Then looked at king Yoongi as if warning him. I have never seen him so shocked

Then I saw her kill another man with an arrow. I dodge a sword thrust and cut the head off the warrior. Looking for her, I find her yelling at a man in a chariot. Her husband. Is she....going to kill him?. I watch her shoot the arrow, it going through his neck

Then I see her go down

"No Joanne!", I scream, my heart stopping

She is not dead. She cannot be. I just found her, I cannot lose her so soon. I start running to her. My heart starts beating again when I see her slowly get up. She is alive. But what happened? She is hunched over and it looks like she may be pulling at something

"Joanne", I yell, getting to her

I look down and see her holding a bloody knife. He threw a knife at her. The wound is in her hip and she is bleeding. A lot

I grab her, moving her behind the chariot for a few seconds Grabbing the end of my shirt, I rip the bottom off in two long strips. I fold one quickly and press it to her wound

She winces and I say in her language, "I am sorry"

Taking her hand, I press it against the cloth so she can hold it. Then I take the other strip and tie it around her, securing the folded cloth in place. It is the best I can do for now. I look up at her and she is looking intently at me

Suddenly she pulls me to her, her lips on mine in a kiss

Stars explode in my vision and heat fills my body from her kiss. I put my arms around her, holding her close and kissing her back. I am aware there is a war going on around us but I want to kiss her at least once in case we do not make it

When it is over, she pulls away and looks in my eyes

"Ek elska þik*", she says

My heart bursts in pure joy. I understand what she said because that is one of the first things I had Namjoon teach me

She told me she loves me

"Ek elska þik", I tell her in her language

She smiles at me

"Joanne!", I hear a voice yell, then more words

She looks at me, takes my hand, then stands and starts running towards the wall. She is screaming something and I hear Namjoon yelling back at me

"There is three more sons you have to kill. She already killed two"

We get to the wall and she turns around. I turn too and she points to a group of three men walking towards us

"Sons?", I yell to Namjoon who speaks to her

She nods, moving her fingers as she talks, "Sigurd, Hvitserk, Ubbe"

"Ok", I nod, taking out my sword

I watch her throw down the bow. She takes a few arrows out of her quiver and breaks them, keeping the arrow still attached to some wood. She puts them in her belt in the back then draws the sword. She nods at me, then leans closer, kissing me again

We will survive. I will make sure of it

She moves away and takes my hand. Then she starts running to them and I follow. As we get closer, she squeezes my hand. We are almost upon them and we let go of our hands, both of us swinging our swords

Metal clangs as my sword hits one of the son's, I think it's Ubbe. He yells something at Joanne and she answers. The one I am fighting slashes at me and makes a cut across my chest. It stings and blood seeps on my shirt. It is not fatal but it needs sewing

I growl at him and thrust my sword, burying it in his shoulder. I pull it out quickly and stab him in the side. He yells, blocking my sword swing and punches me in the eye. My vision goes black for a second as pain explodes in my head . My vision comes back and I move out of the way of his swing. I glance at her to see her fighting the two other brothers. If she were anyone else I'd be worried but she is holding her own well. Pain hits my thigh and I see the son pull his sword back

He stabbed me. I feel my muscles spasm but I force myself to stay up. I scream and duck the swing then I punch the man in the face as hard as I can, putting all my strength behind it. He flies backward, landing on his back. I run to him and slam my sword down right into his chest where his heart is. He groans, dying in seconds

I turn to her and see her decapitate the son she is fighting. But.....where is the other one? I feel arms grab me from behind and a knife at my neck

"Joanne!", he yells

She turns and her face turns white. She begins shouting in her language. He yells back, digging the knife into my skin more. I feel the knife cut me a little and I know I am bleeding. She throws down her sword but I see her reach behind her

She yells, "Hvitserk!" and gestures at him to let me go

He says something and she shakes her head. She looks right at me and I understand what she is trying to say. I trust her. Completely. I nod

She starts yelling to distract him and then throws one of the arrows. I duck, hear the man scream and he lets me go. She runs at him, tackling him. I turn just in time to see her take the dagger from him and stab him in the chest twice then cut his throat. I do have to admit, she is vicious

She stands up slowly, blood all over her. She looks terrifying. And she is mine

My eyes are on her when I hear, "Hail Queen Joanne!"

"Hail! Hail!", voices yell

I look around to see the battle had stopped. The northmen are raising their swords up and the ones closest to her, kneel down to her. I realize that she killed all the heirs of Ragnar

And that makes her queen with no one to oppose her

My mouth drops open. Does this mean she has to go back now?

She turns to look at King Yoongi and I follow her gaze. King Yoongi is looking at her in horror. She is queen. She has the power to order her men to attack or retreat. And King Yoongi treated her horribly

I have no idea what she is going to do

J POV

"Hail Queen Joanne!"

"Hail! Hail!"

I look around the battlefield and see all of Ragnar's army looking to me and hailing me as queen

I am queen

I killed Ragnar and his heirs. It automatically makes me queen. They still consider me part of them

I don't want to be queen. Aslaug is queen and Lagertha wants to be queen. I do not care about killing Aslaug. I hate her. But I cannot kill Lagertha. She raised me, she is like my mother. And obviously these men do not consider either one of those women queen. They did not kill any heirs

I do not know what to do but right now as queen, I can scare king Yoongi. I turn to look at him

And he looks terrified. I smile at him and he flinches

"My queen. What do you want us to do?", a warrior asks me

I make a decision

"Retreat to the boats for now. I will speak with King Yoongi.", I yell

"Hail!", they all yell

I watch as my army retreats. I stay until the last warrior leaves. Then I turn to King Yoongi

"Open the gate!"

I see Namjoon speak to him and he nods. I reach my hand out and feel Jungkook take it

Walking together we make our way towards the opening gate

------------

Hoseok just finished cleaning and sewing my wounds. I sit, waiting for Seokjin to finish working on Jungkook. Using a cloth and water, I wipe away some of the blood on me. When Seokjin is finished, Jungkook stands up and takes my hand. He says something to Hoseok and he nods, disappearing

I look up at Jungkook and tell him in his language, "Saranghae Jungkook"

His eyes widen and he looks so handsome. When we returned inside the kingdom, I spoke to Namjoon, telling him we need the healers. Jungkook was speaking to king Yoongi when I asked Namjoon to tell me how to say "I love you" in his language. It's the only thing I can say in his language but it is everything I need right now

"Ek elska þik", he tells me in my language

Then he comes closer and his lips touch mine in a kiss. Fire bursts in my body from his kiss. I felt this the first time I kissed him. Then the second time. And now

I never felt like this kissing Ivar. I hope this feeling never goes away

Hoseok comes back, speaking and Jungkook pulls away. He turns, gently leading me somewhere. I trust him unconditionally

We get to a room where there is a big pool of water. He points to the water and moves his hands around his body, telling me to take a bath. I nod. He kisses my cheeks then moves to leave. I grab his hand

When he turns back to me, I shake my head, "Stay with me"

He doesn't understand my words but I know he understands my meaning. He nods. I do not know how things are done here or how they feel about nakedness but being naked in front of your husband or lover is not something to be shy about

And I am not

I start undressing, dropping my clothes to the side. When I take all my clothes off, I turn around to see Jungkook staring at me. His eyes are wide and his mouth slightly open. I smirk at him, walking to the pool, going down the stairs and getting in it

He hurriedly gets undressed. When he pulls his shirt off I almost choke on air. His body is incredible. I guess it should be since he is a war general. His entire chest and stomach is muscular as well as his arms. He has some scars on his body but that is to be expected

When he pulls his pants down, my eyes are glued to his cock. He is already so stiff and he is huge. Much bigger than Ivar. If I was not in water, I know I would be very wet

When he is finished undressing he gets in the pool and comes straight to me. His lips are on mine in a second and I throw my arms around his neck, holding him tightly against me. His tongue slips in my mouth and I moan from the feeling. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around him. Pushing me against one of the walls, he looks at me

I know what he wants. It is exactly what I want. I nod and a smile bursts on his face

He kisses me passionately as he slides inside me, stretching my pussy wide around him. I moan loudly as he gets all in. Fuck, he feels so good and he did not even move at all yet. He breathes heavily, then starts moving, thrusting in and out

"Oh fuck", I moan, absolute pleasure filling my body

He fits so perfectly and I can feel everything he does, every inch of his cock, his head hitting my spot deep inside me

He murmurs something in his language, then starts kissing my neck. His hands grip my hips hard, as he moves harder. I have never felt like this during sex before. I have never been in this much pleasure before and I am ready to explode any second. No one has ever gotten me so close so fast

"Jjj... JUNGKOOK!", I scream as I orgasm hard, squeezing his arms so tightly

Pleasure like I never felt before explodes all over my body and I just keep screaming his name

--------------------------------

Jungkook POV

She screams my name as she orgasms, pleasure fills my body when she climaxes and it has not left yet. Sex has not ever felt so good before. I moan loudly feeling her and watch her, pleasure all over her face. I love that I can give her this much pleasure

And I want to give her more so I hold back from coming. When she finishes, I start thrusting again, slamming into her. She moans, speaking in her language. The only thing I understand is my name that she keeps saying over and over. I love hearing her scream my name

"Again", I ask her, kissing her neck and shoulder

Her hand slides in my hair and pulls hard. Fuck, it feels good. She starts tightening and squeezing my cock hard as I thrust, pushing through her tightness. She is going to orgasm again. I never wanted anything so much as much as I want to feel her cum again

"Jungkook!", she screams, clinging to me and her body shaking against me

Pleasure fills my body again but still I hold back. When she finishes, she pushes me back and I fall out of her. What? Why? She kisses me hard and begins pushing me backwards. I am lost in her kiss so I just go where she is pushing me

I feel my legs hit something and she pushes me back more. It is the stairs. She pushes me more, out of the water and onto the stairs. I sit, my back against the step above where I am sitting. I watch her move on top of me. She slides down my cock and I moan as I go all in, her tight pussy opening for me

She leans over me and kisses my lips . I kiss her back, loving every kiss she gives me. When she sits back up, she moves sliding up and down my cock. Pleasure fills my body as I watch her ride me. I can see her entire body and I have to keep my mouth from dropping

She has muscles but not like a man. She also has blue tattoos on her body. I saw some of the other northmen with tattoos as well. She has a wolf on her side and her shoulder has chains tattooed all over. And that's just the front of her, I do not know if she has any on her back. I reach out and run my fingers over the wolf

I feel her skin tremble against my touch and I like that. She also has many scars on her body from battle as well as the wounds she just received from the past two fights. I understand why she has them but I do not like it. She has much more than me and that means she has been in more battles. More chances to die. I will do anything to prevent that

She takes my hands from her hips and puts them on her large breasts. Then she starts moving harder, slamming herself down over and over. I yell in pleasure, squeezing her breasts and closing my eyes. It feels amazing. I feel myself getting there but I want her to orgasm first

She keeps moving and I feel her starting to clench my cock. I know that when she orgasms, I will. I cannot hold it back anymore

"Jungkook!", she yells, orgasming again and her body shakes again

Pure pleasure fills my body, blinding me as I cum, my hands keeping her on me

"Joanne!", I shout

I cannot, it feels so good, I cannot take it. I have never in my entire life felt this much pleasure from coming. . It is taking over my body and I feel myself shudder. When we both finish, she leans over me, kissing all over my face

I love her kisses. I never want anyone else ever again, just hers. Her lips land on my lips in a gentle kiss. Wrapping my arms around her body, I hold her close to me

After a few minutes of kissing each other, she pulls away, looking down at me, in my eyes. She smiles and runs his fingers in my hair

"Saranghae Jungkook", she says

My heart bursts in joy and I cannot hold back my smile

"Ek elska þik Joanne"

I pull her back down to me in another kiss

------------

She and I walk into the meeting room to wait for King Yoongi. We bathed and had sex again. I cannot keep my hands off her . And the best thing is she cannot keep hers off me either. It does not matter that we cannot speak to each other, it is like we know what the other wants . It is amazing

Maids brought towels to dry us and new clothes. We changed and when I turned to look at her, my mouth dropped. She was given a dress to wear. I have not seen her in a dress yet and she looks beautiful. She had a face on though like she did not like it. I do not think she is used to wearing dresses

I went to her and kissed her softly

"You are beautiful", I tell her in my language

She tilts her head, but smiles . I took her hand and led her here. She goes to sit while I go to Namjoon. I need to speak to him about something

A few minutes later, King Yoongi walks in. Everyone bows except for Joanne. Namjoon and I take seats, waiting for King Yoongi to speak

He looks at Joanne and says, "Queen Joanne"

My mouth drops in shock. He actually acknowledged that she is queen. He starts talking and Namjoon speaks to her

"What can I do to make your army leave my lands?"

She starts speaking

"Give them some of the things Ragnar demanded. They came here to raid and I cannot send them away with nothing. That will just ensure they will come back."

Yoongi listens to Namjoon, defeat on his face, "Agreed. I will give them the gold Ragnar asked for but they must leave upon receiving it"

She listens then speaks, "Agreed. I will tell them to leave and not come back"

Namjoon speaks and King Yoongi nods, then asks her a question. A question that makes me nervous

"Will you be going with them?"

She talks and I intently listen to Namjoon

"I am not sure. I need to speak to Jungkook"

He nods

She turns to me and starts speaking, Namjoon translates, "Honestly I do not want to be queen. There is already a queen, Aslaug. Apparently my people do not like her since they named me queen. And I have no problem killing her."

I nod. I understand that she may not want to be queen. I would never want to be king

"There is someone who will have a problem with me being queen. It is Lagertha, Ragnar's first wife and the one who raised and trained me. And I do not think I can kill her"

I can understand that. This Lagertha is like her mother. I would not expect her to kill her mother

"But what I choose to do depends on what you want. I will not leave you behind. If you want to come with me, I will be queen of the Danes. If you do not want to leave, I will stay with you and name Lagertha as Queen."

I am shocked. She's willing to give up being queen if I do not want to leave? I do not know what to say

"If I give up being queen, I have to make sure they know I am not staying here or Lagertha will come back for me"

That is easy to do. We can pretend we are leaving after giving them the gold. I would go with her but would her people accept me? Or would they try to kill me? I am the reason she killed Ragnar and his sons. I do not want her to have to protect me all the time. And if we stay here, I can finally leave the army and stay with her

"Will your people accept me? Or would they try to kill me?"

Namjoon speaks to her and she answers almost immediately, "They will try to kill you. They will not accept you unless you are a slave"

"You cannot go there as a slave Jungkook", king Yoongi cuts in

I look at her, about to speak but then she starts

"I am going to stay here with you", Namjoon translates

I look at her and ask, "Are you sure? We do not have to"

She shakes her head, "I do not belong there. I have not belonged anywhere my whole life. I was taken and lived in places but I did not really belong there."

I hate that her life has been so chaotic and she was taken from her original home. I cannot imagine that happening to me

"But I belong with you, Jungkook and wherever you are is where I want to be. So I am staying with you"

I nod, overjoyed that she feels that way. I feel the same

"I belong with you Joanne and I'll follow you anywhere"

I hate that Namjoon has to translate for us. But it will have to happen for now

I take a breath and speak to her in her language, "Joanne, will you marry me?"

She smiles and nods. I pull her to me and kiss her. That is what I spoke to Namjoon about when we came in the room. I wanted to know how to ask her that in her language.

When we pull away, I speak to King Yoongi, "She is staying here. I am marrying her and she is going to live with me"

"Fine. As long as the Northmen are gone, do whatever you want", he answers

Good because he is not going to be happy with what I am going to tell him

"I am also leaving the army"

"Excuse me?", he snaps

"I am retiring from the army. I found my soulmate and I want to be with her. I will not put myself in unnecessary danger and chance death. I refuse to leave her alone without me."

I do not know what I will do. I have only known the army. But I have skills and money that I can do whatever I want. Maybe be a farmer. That would be easier than a war general. Or a painter. I used to love painting

"And what will you do? Be a lowly farmer?", he snaps

"Yes. Or a painter. Something like that. I just want to live with her peacefully"

He glares at me but he answers, "Very well"

I ask Namjoon to translate what just happened and he does. She smiles and nods. We finish the meeting with Joanne and King Yoongi discussing the details of when he will have the gold, when she will give it to her people and renounce herself as queen. I suggest my idea to make them believe that her and I are leaving the kingdom. Everything is agreed upon and we can finally leave

Taking her hand, we leave the palace and I lead her the way to my house. She looks around at the people and market, smiling at everything. I smile watching her

I am happy for the first time in a long time

I know we still have a lot to do to,- get her army away from here, get married and move away from the city so we can live peaceful lives. But for now I'm just happy being with her, happy I found her

I stop walking and turn to her, "Saranghae"

She gives me a huge smile and answers, "Saranghae"

I lean down, my lips on hers in a sweet kiss

#jeon jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook smut #bts jungkook smut #jungkook smut #bts fic #bts smut

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lilacliquors · 7 months

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pairing: phillip graves x reader

sweet or spicy: spicy

word count: 934

prompt: [COLLAR]: sender grabs receiver by the collar to pull them closer

notes: and here it is, our final day! i was so excited for this one bc i really do love me a fictional bastard american war criminal with a southern accent. so i was so excited to get my first request for this man. but thank you for participating in this event, it was so much fun! happy valentine's day everyone <3

a successful mission was always a call to celebrate. the shadows had always seemed like one big family, the way everyone looked out for one another, and you were proud of that. what you did was … questionable at best, and on occasion, you had your doubts. but your husband, one phillip graves, always knew how to make you feel better.

while the other shadows were off celebrating, he had you in his office, splayed on his couch as he kept your thighs apart with his hands. his face was buried in your cunt, lapping at your folds like a man starved. and starved he was. he had to go weeks without touching you, without having you to himself. when shepherd called, duty was all that mattered. getting the mission done as soon as possible was on top of his list of priorities, and while he of course knew you’d be by his side, as his second in command, he knew that you wouldn’t get a moment of well deserved and hard earned privacy. not with the way the shadows operated.

but now he had you the way he wanted you, naked on his leather couch, panting and moaning and whimpering and squirming as he devoured you. the tip of his tongue flicked over your clit, and you gasped, your back arching as one of your hands gripped the arm of the couch, and the other went to his hair. he groaned against you as your nails traced over his scalp, and it only encouraged him to do more. he lived for this, making you feel good. as your husband, he felt obliged to take your pleasure as seriously as he could, and while the world saw a tough commander of a private military company, you saw a man who wanted nothing more than to please his woman. his mother raised a gentleman, after all.

he reveled in the soft gasps that left your lips, groaning as you tugged on his hair, then tried to sooth him as you ran your fingers through it, just the way he liked. you always moved in sync with one another, a perfect team. you knew each other in and out, in more ways than one. And not a day went by where he didn’t thank god for bringing you to him (and he wasn’t even particularly religious these days, but a little thank you here and there didn’t hurt).

he could tell you were getting close to the orgasm you craved so badly when he felt the muscles in your thighs tense. you had your tells, and he knew them like the back of his hand. the sounds that came from between your legs grew more obscene as he went on, determined to make you scream his name. that was all he wanted to hear, it was all he craved. nothing else mattered to him in that moment, all he wanted to see, touch, taste, feel, was you.

“p-phillip,” you gasped, your toes curling as he sucked on your clit. he could only mumble against you, grabbing your thighs to hold them over his shoulders and keep them there. he wanted to feel your thighs squeeze around his head, and he was going to get his wish. he looked up at you, his blue eyes locking with your lust blown ones, and to you, he looked like perfection. there was nothing better than seeing a powerful man on his knees, worshiping you like he always did. but you didn’t even have time to lovingly caress his cheek the way you wanted before your orgasm rocked your body. he groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as your thighs clenched around his head your back arched off the couch, and your nails dug into the leather of the armrest. he didn’t even care if you somehow punctured it, he would just buy a new one. he’d buy a million more if he could soil them all like this. he continued to lap at your folds as you came down from your high, but the licks were slow and lazy, long stripes from your weeping hole to your sensitive clit. he glanced up again as your thighs relaxed, and he watched your chest heave for a moment. you were a masterpiece, unraveled by his tongue and only his tongue. there was never a sight so beautiful to him. he barely even had time to register the fact that your hand had come down to grip the collar of his shirt, and you pulled him up from his knees to rest between your legs as you pressed a deep kiss to his lips.

you could taste your essence on his tongue, and the act alone made his eyes flutter shut before he kissed you back. you weren’t sure how long you remained that way, but when you finally had to pull apart for air, his face was just as flushed as yours.

“how … how was that?” he asked breathlessly, a light smirk on his lips.

“nothing short of amazing,” you whispered back, gently tracing your thumb over his cheek.

“well, you deserve nothing less than that. and i’d spend a thousand lifetimes proving it to you,” he murmured, his hands rubbing your sides gently.

“then why don’t you get back down there? the celebration isn’t over yet,” you purred, and with a wicked gleam in his eyes, he slowly eased back down onto his knees and used your ankles to pull you forward, all while you laughed.

“oh, honey,” he murmured, “you have no idea what you’re in for now.”

#phillip graves x reader #phillip graves smut #phillip graves #phillip graves sweet and spicy special #lilacliquors

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angel-maybe-alive · 2 years

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My problem with Hades and Persephone retelling

(aka this will not end well for me)

So sometime ago I made a post about things I hate in "modern literature" basically me ranting about booktok shit, and I mentioned my pure hatred for the "hades/Persephone retellings" genre and I tried to explain it in the reblogs but I didn't phrased myself very well there so I want to do it again?

So here I go swinging another baseball bat to the wasps nest.

The Homeric hymn of demeter is this very known tale of why we have the seasons, the plot basically goes as: Hades god of the underworld kidnaps Persephone goddess of flowers, demeter her mother goddess of crops gets desperate don't do her job while trying to find her the world suffers yada yada something something in the end Persephone has to spent half of the year with her mother (spring and summer) and the other half with her husband in the underworld (autumn/winter)

Right

Now let's go to the " doesn't matter my opinion people will be mad at me "part

The full myth as is presented in the Homeric hymn of demeter has Persephone pretty clearly being kidnapped and held against her will

The myth was very clear about Persephone's not willingness to the marriage as she 1- screamed for help 2- was described as miserable when visited by Hermes 3- asked for her mother 4-lightened up once hearing about her 5- is described as being tricked by hades to eat the pomegranates who kept her tied to the underworld

In the context of when the myth was created the reasoning was pretty clear to be about the horrifying yet inevitability of wedding, and the separation between mother and daughter.

Arranged or forced marriages are a fictional thing to a lot of people nowadays, it's a thing of time pieces or something from religions that you don't understand and find oppressive but it was (and still is in some places ) a reality

The arranged marriage has its perks in some context as it takes away the burden of having to choose your partner and if your culture is build on this you would not see this as a oppressive practice just how things are the sky is blue and someday your father will choose your husband.But there's also the fear, your future husband could be half decent person there was a chance or an horrible monster very possible sometimes you truly couldn't know.

Kinda like death itself there was This uncertainty, the fear yet anxiety and maybe longing of it without knowing what would come next.

So in context this tale probably resonated a lot with girls and women at the time as a reminder that after the marriage they can still see their mothers time to time, it wasn't death itself just separation, even if their wedding was bleak as a dark winter, spring will come.

And I love this tale really

Then we have the new context, like I said the fear and longing of arranged marriage is not a reality to many people in modern western secular world, But suffocating mothers are.

There is discussion on whether or not Persephone went on her own will but it is a pointless discussion the result is still the same she has half of the year up here half down there.

But the retellings do a weird thing, some of them reframe it to make demeter the villain.

Demeter goes from grieving mother to an angry wench who it's just terrified of an empty nest and suffocates Persephone she is mother goethel locking Rapunzel in a tower,She is the opressor.

And hades is the stand in badboy he is rhysand, darkling, Damon Salvatore and draco Malfoy In leather pants and all the other guys in black clothes but not in a cringe emo edgylord way in a dangerous way with a jawline to cut diamonds and abs for days, rich and powerful a dominating alpha ready to sweep the damsel ad bring her to freedom.

Do you ever heard that anarbor song 18, if not listen it's exactly the hades guy on those retellings

And the thing is I have no true problem with this concept it's not my cup of tea(I prefer the golden retriever rather than the black cat) and I do think the amount of coercion and straight up sexual assault on those are quite not good, but it might be someone's else's cup.

The problem is calling this a feminist retelling as by making Persephone a willing bride it empowers her.

It truly doesn't.

The original was already empowering a grieving mother doing anything on her power to save her lost daughter is fucking punk.

Yet the rebellious vein of the modern author the desire to be that girl the one who had the guts to actually runaway from home after fighting with your mom for not letting you paint your hair, mixed with the desire to be coddled by a dark prince charming, aman who will desire you so much he won't be able to control himself, a beautiful rich man who will worship you, have amazing sex with you, will be enough of a feminist to respect your choices yet enough of a patriarchal alpha male to spoil rotten with all things money can buy, provide for you as you are his queen, this desire takes one of the most simple yet understandable tale of true feminine power and bastardize it to another opposite Attraction tale.

And this is why I hate hades and Persephone retellings.

#anti acotar #anti booktok #anti hades and persephone #writing #books #i know post this is a terrible idea #but i will just say my prayers and wait for the bullshit #feminism

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thetoaddaddy · 6 months

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A funny little thing about fandom and fandom spaces. Especially if you are new to these spaces:

I got a friend who is fairly new to fandom spaces. She sends me screenshots sometimes of people in her fandom like being dramatic about shit and I’m not really phased by it cuz I’ve been in fandom spaces since I was like 12.

I gotta school her and tell her all these fandom lores. Like the fact Lord of the Rings had a gay fanfiction cult that scammed people out of money with promising amazing meet ups and were lack lustre, including flying out jed brophy and having his partner having to sob confess to him that she didn’t have enough money to fly them back home and they met Sean Astin several times for charity events and even got him to make the proposal between the cult leader and his main victim/“partner”.

Or that one time in the Hamilton fandom with that one white chick who pretended to be a woman of colour who had aids via sex trafficking but was in fact a white girl with a normal middle class upbringing. All to validate her fanfic about the aids crisis in the 80s with an age gap ship. Which she had no reason to do, like girl made a problem about nothing. And used this marginalized voice she crafted to scam money from people with sickbaiting. But the story then got watered down to the girl who exposed her did so cuz of a rival Hamilton mermaid cannibal crack ship… and then the call out poster then doxxed the scammer after promising not to. Honestly, what a damn mess that was.

The mass shipping wars between harry/ginny traditionalists vs the unhinged proshippers on the other side who shipped anything and everything(which is whatever i’m more proship at the end of the day its just fictional characters and they’re tagged properly, if you interact with it that’s on you). They fr had turf wars and an exchange of harassment(not to mention mrs scribe and her socks). Hello Draco’s Leather Pants I see you. Or the Snape Wives who astral projected sex with Snape via their husbands.

That bible self insert fanfiction writer who went to hell and back to try and claim they wrote my immortal. But he was bad at covering his trail, claimed this multiple times, tried to (shocker) get money and fame from this.

The sonic fandom in its god damn hayday was on a whole different level of insane. The ocs the edits the tracing. In general most spaces were toxic.

Clown meat fandom.

Or when Naruto fans harassed and sent death threats relentlessly to kishi for not making their ships canon at the end of the Naruto manga. We’ve seen things. We have lived through scammers, freaks, and extremists. There always will be in fandom.

I think whining about people who take their favourite character too seriously is not really looking at the full picture of what raving fans will do. Especially in young fandoms. Fanatic people have and always will act the fuck up. They’re the loudest of their fandom usually. But they don’t define their community as a whole. Just let them be. Nothing you can say will change them. They gotta go through the ravenous phases of fandom themselves. Then they become fandom elders like I… Like most of us are. We like what we like. We get friends from it. We make new headcanons and expand upon the blanks the canon materials left out. The ravenous do this too but they tend to have a sort of tunnel vision.

Regardless I don’t think antagonizing them is the right call. Fandom will always fandom. I think it’s just the natural life cycle of the fandom space. We’re all cringe. Ain’t none of us better than anyone else.

#🌺 ooc #idk #welcome to my ted talk #fandom #fandom spaces #fandom culture #im drunk i got to thinkin

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cuntdestroyer3000 · 1 year

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Fictional men Lana album assignments

Ok so I’m always thinking about this, my fave fictional men are literally so lana coded and I have decided to assign them her albums hehe

Javier Peña- Honeymoon

First up we have my husband, Javi. Javi is 100% Honeymoon like COME ON. He’s so Salvatore coded. Honeymoon is all about romanticism but the darkness within it. And Javi is so cunty in his little tight pants like he’s so honeymoon. Also the lyrics of 24 align with him so well it drives me insane.

“Catch me if you can working on my tan, Salvatore. Dying by the hand of a foreign man happily.” Salvatore

“If you lie down with dogs then you’ll get fleas. Be careful of the company you keep” 24

“We both know the history of violence that surrounds you. But I’m not scared, there’s nothing to lose now that I’ve found you” Honeymoon

“It’s no wonder every man in town has neither fought nor found you” Honeymoon

“When I’m down on my knees you’re how I pray” Religion

“I was so wrong not to doubt your Medellín, tangerine dreams” Salvatore

Joel Miller- Norman Fucking Rockwell

Next we got Joel HEHEHEHEHE JOEL omg ok so this one is a no brainer: Joel is Norman Fucking Rockwell. Like come on how is he not. Like so many of the songs remind me so much of him. I could write a whole ass essay on this one. The whole Joe(L) part of How to Disappear like AHHH R U SERIOUS?? Also happiness is a butterfly and hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have- but I have it. HOPE IS A DANGEROUS THING FOR A MAN LIKE JOEL TO HAVE BRO. I feel like the aesthetic of NFR isn’t very frilly either, she’s in her wetsuit at the beach, in her lil shorts yknow? And I feel like that fits with Joel. Also the color green is very prominent in that album and I rlly associate that color with Joel. I feel like NFR can reflect the relationship Joel would have with a love interest but also the relationship he has with Ellie, like if you take her lyrics out of context I feel like it could relate to the relationship he has with her bc she really healed him and changed him and like broke down his walls which imo is all that NFR is about.

Anyway here’s some lyrics that I associate with him:

“You’re just a man, it’s just what you do. Your head in your hands while you color me in blue.” Norman Fucking Rockwell

“Maybe I can save you from your sin.” mariners apartment complex

“All the pills that you take, violet blue green red to keep me at arms length won’t work” cinnamon girl

“Joe(l) met me down at the training yard, cuts on his face cause he fought to hard. I know he’s in over his head, but I love that man like nobody can, he moves mountains and pounds them to ground again.” How to disappear

“If he’s a serial killer then what’s the worst that can happen to a girl who’s already hurt?” Happiness is a butterfly

“You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are when you’re lying in my arms.” California.

-This is so him he j needs to be held. The fact that he was the little spoon w Tess :’(

NFR is just so Joel don’t even argue with me.

Negan Smith- Ultraviolence

Next we have Negan and I feel like the choice is pretty obvious. Ultraviolence is probably Lana’s darkest album and it fits him so fucking well. He literally wears a fucking leather jacket like that is Ultraviolence in and of itself. He’s also just a violent person and violence is how he deals with things. I can really see the relationship between him and a female oc being like ultraviolence: really toxic but she can’t get enough. So many lyrics for him. So many

“He hurt me and it felt like true love” Ultraviolence

“I can see my baby swingin’, his parliament’s on fire and his hands are up” West Coast

“When he calls he calls for me and not for you” Shades of Cool

“You’re fucking crazy” Cruel World

“Lay me down tonight, I’m your favorite girl.” Fucked My Way Up to the Top

“You didn’t warn me at the time, but you were worth it anyway” Guns and Roses

“You’re my cult leader, I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you forever” Ultraviolence

“If you send for me you know I’ll come and if you call for me you know I’ll run” Old Money

“Get a little bit of bourbon in ya, go a little bit suburban and go crazy” Cruel World (when he went to Alexandria, got drunk, played pool and murdered a dude)

“But I can’t fix him, can’t make him better” Shades of Cool

“Loving you is really hard” Ultraviolence

“I wait for you babe that’s all I do babe you don’t come through babe it’s just what you do” Pretty when you cry

HE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABT U BITCH CAUSE UR PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY

Tommy Shelby- Born to Die

At first I was vibing with Tommy being Ultraviolence but he’s more Born to Die. His whole outlook on life is very consistent with born to die- when lana said I wish I was dead already. Tommy feels like he’s already dead after surviving the war. He’s Born to Die because although he’s dangerous and a lil toxic he can be very loving and he’s always so gentle with his ladies. And when he falls he falls hard (i.e. Grace) also Off the the Races?? That’s literally Tommy bro

Lyrics:

“My old man is a bad man but I can’t deny the way he holds my hand and he grabs me he has me by my heart” Off to the Races

“Come take a walk on the wild side let me fuck you hard in the pouring rain. You like your girls insane” Born to Die

“I’m in his favorite sundress watching me get undressed” Video Games

“No one even knows how hard life was I don’t even talk about it now because I finally found you” Radio

“He headed out on Sunday, said he’d come on Monday. I stayed up waiting anticipating and pacing but he was chasing papers. Caught up in the game it was the last I heard” Blue Jeans

“I don’t know how you get over, get over someone as dangerous tainted and flawed as you” Million Dollar Man

FINALLY

Pedro Pascal- Did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean boulevard

Ik I said fictional men but Pedro is the source of my comfort in this cruel world and I had to include him. I feel like Pedro is this album because it’s Lana’s most personal album. In the other albums on this post she’s kind of creating these stories but with tunnel it’s very personal and real. Since Pedro is an actual real person I feel like this is an appropriate choice since he has a lot of depth just like tunnel. Also Pedro really cares about family- his relationship with his sister, and has suffered loss to suicide just like Lana has. And tunnel explores themes of family, loss, healing and trying and struggling to find love. Like bro Pedro is Sweet. He’s sweet and he’s Sweet. Yknow?

Idk abt lyrics bc idrk what he’d resonate with but here’s the songs i associate with him:

The Grants, Did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean boulevard, Sweet, Kintsugi, Paris Texas, Fishtail, Let the Light in, Taco Truck x vb

Ok that’s all thanks for listening🖤🖤

#dilf lover #fictional men #pedro pascal #jeffrey dean morgan #joel miller #negan smith #tommy shelby #cillian murphy #lana deal rey #lana album #javier pena narcos #i love joel miller #i love dilfs

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downwiththeficness · 7 months

Text

Shadow and Veil-Chapter Forty Two

Summary: Eva Moore’s life was a carefully constructed fiction. Every day, she did exactly what her mother in law, her husband, and his best friend expected of her. No mistakes. And, that was going pretty well for Eva right up until a huge complication literally tried to run her over. Now, she’s faced with trying to keep the pieces of her life from falling apart while attempting (and failing) to keep her feelings for her husband’s new business partner at bay.

A/N: This fic is a sister-fic to A Need So Great and A Need Unleashed. You do not need to have read ANSG or ANU to read this fic, but there are Easter eggs from those fics in Shadow and Veil for readers with keen eyes. This fic is explicit for canon-compliant blood, gore, violence, and sex. As such, it is intended for an adult audience, only. A/B/O dynamics come with their own warning. Anyone under the age of 18 should not interact with this work. I do not consent to reposting this work to other platforms. Reblog only to Tumblr.

Word Count: ~5,000

Start from the beginning Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Masterlist Read on AO3

Eva leaned over the counter with a hand pressed to her forehead. The morning brought with it nausea and cramping. Both lasted through the day and into the evening, threatening her plans for the night. The nausea, she could attribute to anxiety; the cramping to an ill timed period. Which made little to no sense, given that she was at least two weeks early and there hadn’t been a single drop of blood.

The pills from Bobbi Lynn were long gone. And, Eva guessed she was dealing with the consequences of moving on to a commercial brand. She was not looking forward to months of her body swinging wildly from one extreme to the next as it regulated her hormones.

Inhaling deeply, Eva patted her face with water and dried her hands on a towel. Then, she took a quick look at herself in the mirror.

The ochre dress still fit. In fact, it fit better than the last time she’d worn it all those months ago. She touched the deep neckline that exposed the skin from her collarbones down to mid chest. Her thumb no longer fit snugly in the hollow around the clavicle. She could no longer see the individual ridges of her ribs.

Fingers drifting downwards, Eva touched the soft swell of her breasts. They were fuller, now, peeking enticingly from behind the fabric. She turned, watching the skirt swish around her hips—they were fuller, too. So much that she’d bought new pants twice over to accommodate the curves. In the back of her mind, she could still hear Myra telling her that she looked fat, but that voice was very dim. She hoped, one day, she would stop hearing it at all.

Satisfied with her reflection, Eva sauntered into the bedroom to find Horacio trying to decide between two belts. He stared at them intently, thumbs worrying the metal buckles.

Eva smiled as she quietly observed him. He was dressed in all black—button up, slacks, leather shoes. Very Diego. She could see the gold chain around his neck flashing against brown skin. He hadn’t yet styled his hair and the curls were falling over his brow. Eva was struck anew by how attractive she found him and she wondered at how lucky she was that they were together.

She wrapped her arms around her middle to soothe a vaguely worrying cramp, saying, “The gold one.”

Horacio looked up with his brows raised.

“The gold one,” Eva repeated, “It will match the chain.”

He nodded once, “You’re right.”

“Of course I am,” she pronounced, with confidence.

When he turned to put the other belt away, Eva was greeted with the sigh-worthy sight of his shoulders as they blocked out the entrance to the closet. Whoever tailored the shirt he was wearing deserved a medal for the way it smoothed over his back and tapered in to his waist. The material pulled ever so slightly over his bicep when he reached up to turn off the overhead light, hinting at the muscle she knew lay below.

Her hands curled into her palms and her feet moved without conscious thought. She closed the distance between them in three long steps. Horacio tossed the belt on the bed and gripped her hips in a firm hold, “You look beautiful.”

Eva started to say something pithy, like ‘this old thing?’, but the words died on her tongue. Horacio’s eyes were roving her body, lingering on the skin exposed by the neckline of her dress. Although Horacio hadn’t mentioned that her body was filling out, he did seem to be enjoying it. He pulled her closer, until the material brushed against his slacks and murmured, “I remember this dress.”

She nodded, “I brought it from Louisiana.”

Horacio hummed lowly, “I liked it in Louisiana, too.”

The memory came to her slowly. Stag Nation. The Lounge. The pool. Let me go.

As if he were remembering the moment in tandem, Horacio lifted his hand and pressed it to her sternum. His fingers spread wide, slipping underneath the fabric. The heat of his palm was nearly scalding and Eva was awash with his scent. It swirled around her, running up her nose and into her head where it demanded her attention. Tobacco and vetiver and the delicious smoke of his interest. Eva breathed deep, her chest pressing into his hand. The pressure increased on every inhale, grounding her body.

He was so close, so very present, that it almost overwhelmed her. She couldn’t look away from his face as he studied the way his hand laid atop her skin. His expression was intent and focused, on the very edge of anger. It confused Eva, and she said as much.

Horacio glanced at her, “At the party, I wanted...so much more than this.”

This was absolutely not a surprise. As naive as Eva was about who Horacio was and what he thought about her, even she could read his intent when he approached her that night. One side of Eva’s mouth lifted, “I know.”

He didn’t share her humor, “I was very close to dragging you out of the house.”

Her smirk fell, words once again failing her. An image of being thrown over his shoulder and whisked away flashed in her mind. The heat of the fantasy was visceral and real, as was the realization that it could have never happened. At least, not like that.

His grip on her waist slid around to the small of her back, “It would have been easy to take what I wanted.”

Eva gasped when the hand on her chest rotated and cupped her breast. Skin to skin, her nerves sizzled afresh. She bit her lip when his thumb rubbed back and forth over her nipple. And still, she couldn’t quite look away from his face.

He wasn’t even looking back.

All Horacio’s attention was on his hand as it caressed her. His breathing was shallow and heat wafted from him like a lit furnace. He pushed the material of her dress aside and swallowed audibly as he took in her exposed breast. Another impatient swipe and the dress dropped down to hang on her upper arms.

Eva trembled as he explored every inch of skin, groaning when he pinched a nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The sensitive bud hardened, seeking more. Her head tipped back, giving Horacio room to lay a kiss on her neck, her collarbone, and down a winding path to meet his hand.

“I could have sucked on these all night,” he rasped as he took a nipple in to his mouth.

Eva’s hands scrambled for purchase, one carding into his hair and the other digging into his shoulder. A high, breathy moan left her lips, followed by a shorter, louder sound of pleasure.

Horacio worked his way to the other side, “I could have made you beg me for it.”

His head lifted and he kissed her hard. Eva moaned into it, the sound harsh in her ear. She clung to him, suddenly needing more than anything to have him as close as possible. Horacio obliged her, arms tight around her body.

The kiss grew frantic. Hands roamed over hard angles and soft curves. Eva arched into him, reveling in the feeling smooth silk against her breasts. She tugged at his collar, wanting more skin, more sensation, more everything.

He broke the kiss, breathing heavily, “Javier is on his way. We should…”

Eva took advantage of the pause in his words, cupping his jaw and bringing his mouth to hers. She coaxed a kiss from him, sucking lightly on his lower lip.

Horacio returned the kiss enthusiastically, palms squeezing her ass. “Eva,” he choked between kisses, “Amorcita, we don’t have time.”

They could make time. As far as Eva was concerned, Javier could wait on the doorstep for as long as it took to get Horacio inside her. She wanted him more than she cared about being polite.

Eva took his hand and guided it to her chest. She held it there and offered him more drugging kisses as a distraction while she walked ever so slowly backwards. When her knees hit the bed, Eva dropped heavily onto the mattress and looked up at Horacio from beneath her lashes.

He was at little bit lost. And torn. Eva knew he had a plan for tonight. That he had responsibilities that he needed to take care of. The two of them had discussed every tiny detail, worked through a thousand scenarios—all of which had the same conclusion.

Horacio had a criminal to catch.

And yet.

He took her in, staring at her like a he was dying of thirst and she was a pool of cool water. Horacio was a man who wanted to drown. Eva let him look. Let him want. Right up until she couldn’t take another second under the heat of his eyes. Eager hands reached forward, catching his waistband and pulling him down. Horacio slammed his hand down on the mattress beside her to catch his weight. His mouth met hers, following as she laid back.

He hovered over her, frame caging her in on all sides. Eva tried to get him closer, to get him to drop all that heavy weight on her, but Horacio was steadfast. He kept a few inches’ distance between them, refusing to give in.

This wouldn’t do.

Eva’s mouth veered off to the side, over the stubble on his jaw and downwards. Her tongue ran over sweet skin, swirling over a rapid pulse. She gave him no warning before she laid a hot, open mouthed kiss on his gland. Above her, Horacio shouted and the arm supporting his weight collapsed.

She took it willingly, hips opening to make room. Horacio’s chest vibrated with a groan, and Eva expected him to push into his palms, to replace the distance between them. He didn’t. Horacio let Eva fold him into her embrace, let her keep sucking a kiss to his gland. She swirled her tongue over the swollen flesh, drawing in the taste of him. His arousal was touched with frustration. And, underneath, there was the metallic iron of his will.

Horacio grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her down to the bed His voice was filled with warning as he said her name. Eva could sense how close he was to breaking. Horacio might be holding her down with one hand, but the other was dragging her skirt up her thighs. That knowledge kept the self-satisfied smile from her face. Made her work to keep upping the ante.

Eva tried to kiss him again, whining pitifully when he denied her. She wriggled on the bed, knees spreading. He squeezed her thigh before easing it to the side and tracing his fingers up to where they met her underwear.

“I’ll make you come,” he said between harsh breaths, “Yes?”

The thought was tempting, but it fell short of what Eva really wanted. Something in her body was driving her towards slick skin and burning pleasure. She wanted hours of pleasure soaked in arousal, and she knew there would be no satisfaction in a quick orgasm.

She shook her head, “Want you.”

Horacio mirrored her, “Can’t. I’m too…” he searched for the words, “tight.”

Eva squinted at him, “Tight?”

He gripped the elastic of her underwear, “Like a watch. Take these off.”

Shimmying out of them, Eva tried to figure out what he meant so that she could convince him otherwise. What did a clock have to do with sex?

“Do you mean ‘wound up’?”

A nod while he gathered her skirt up and around her waist. He took no time to press his hand against her mound, swirling the slick around. The pressure eased some of the strangely painful want in her pussy. Temporarily. With every movement, it grew wilder, blazing hot when he pushed his fingers inside.

It felt so, so good, but it just wasn’t enough.

Reaching between them, she pulled his shirt from his slacks, earning a grunt of censure from the man above her. He loosed her neck to grab for her hands, only to find that she was now free to lick the salt from the hollow of his throat.

“Eva,” he pleaded, “mi amor, I said I would take care of you.”

“Wanna take care of you, too,” Eva replied mindlessly.

“Its too much,” he breathed, “I don’t—fuck, yes, ride them.”

Eva’s hips moved in a smooth roll, sinking down on his hand with growing speed and force. Horacio helped her along, moving with her body and rubbing his thumb over her clit in a wide circle. The rhythm faltered when Eva wriggled her fingers into his slacks and gave his length a firm stroke.

His hand left her folds to grab at her wrist. Several expressions flashed across his face in such a quick succession that Eva couldn’t quite catch them. But, she definitely understood the way his eyes closed and his mouth hung open. The wet fingers around her wrist were tight, but he wasn’t stopping her hand. He let her pump him slowly, let her kiss his mouth until she was giddy with it.

“Can you,” she murmured against his lips, “put it in? Just for a minute.”

Horacio hissed, an angry sound, “We don’t—,”

“Have time,” she finished for him. “I know. Just for a minute. I wanna feel you.”

He pulled his hips back and dislodged her hand. Then, he grasped her jaw and made her look at him, “One minute. Don’t you dare fight me when I say its over.”

Eva grinned, “Do you want me to set a timer? I think there’s one in the kitchen.”

“Cállate.”

She bit down on her lower lip to suppress a giggle that would likely annoy him more. Eva was getting a little bit of what she wanted and she knew to stop while she was ahead.

Horacio pushed his slacks down his thighs and grasped his cock, lining the wet head up against her opening to make the first push inside. Eva let her hips relax, anticipating the two or three thrusts that it usually took to allow her body time to reacquaint itself with his size.

Two or three thrusts that didn’t happen.

Eva’s body welcomed him whole, and it surprised them both.

Horacio struggled to breathe. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaw was clenched. For her part, Eva could only marvel up at him while her body screamed out at the rightness of it all. She still struggled to take him, felt like he was bigger than he’d ever been inside her. But, that didn’t matter. It just didn’t fucking matter.

When he caught his breath, Horacio braced himself on his forearms and looked down between them. Eva’s dress was wadded up around her waist, the sleeves caught at her elbows. Beyond the pile of fabric, she could see how their bodies fit together.

Perfect. They were perfect.

Horacio brushed the hair back from her face, “How do you do this to me?”

Eva hummed in question, distracted by the way his cock brushed up against something inside that made her toes curl. He didn’t answer. Instead, Horacio chose to lay slow, lingering kisses along the column of her neck and down her chest where he scraped his teeth over the swell of her breast.

On the way back to her mouth, his weight shifted forward and his cock sank a fraction deeper. Eva’s gasp was swallowed down by a deep, unrelenting kiss. All the while, Horacio held himself still inside her—or, he attempted to.

The longer the kiss went on, the more Eva fought to keep still so that he wouldn’t end it too soon. Her body refused to obey the commands of her mind, seeking friction on her clit. What started out as small movements bloomed into planting her feet on the mattress so that she could lift her hips against his.

Horacio’s laughter was more felt than heard, “Greedy omega.”

She shivered, “I can’t help it.”

“I know,” he said, mouthing along her jaw until he reached her gland and running his tongue over it.

Eva gasped a harsh breath and her body curled up against him. She slipped both hands into his hair to hold him to her while he sucked what would later be a hickey onto her skin.

On his way to the other side, Horacio grunted, “I’m supposed to be prepping for a tactical mission. Instead, I’m trying not to come inside a delicious, perfect omega.”

She pulled at his shirt, at the skin beneath, while he drove her out of her mind with his mouth. The fire in her belly grew brighter and hotter, drawing Eva very close to the edge. He was barely moving and she was ready to come.

Lifting up, Horacio drew in a deep breath, “Time. Time.” When Eva began to protest, he added, “I said a minute.” Then, “I’ll make sure you come, Amorcita. Don’t worry.”

“Please,” she begged, holding him by the shoulders, “Please.”

“I’ll make you feel good,” he said as he dropped a kiss to her mouth.

Eva had no doubt about that, but all she could think about the way he said he was trying not to come inside her. The words went around and around in her mind, accompanied by the heat in his tone. Bone deep instincts were begging her to act, to convince him to stay right where he was.

“I need you,” she whispered. Then, louder, “Please, alpha.”

Horacio’s expression went slack with shock. He blinked at her for several long seconds in silence, “Say it again.”

Eva touched his cheek, “Please, alpha.”

He laid his forehead against hers with a defeated sound. One by one, he lifted her legs so that they rode high on his hips. His mouth touched her lips briefly, followed by her nose, her cheek, her throat. Eva expected him to fuck her hard and deep. She expected him to channel all his frustration into explosive, powerful movement. Instead, Horacio moved slowly, gliding easily in and out of her so that she felt every inch.

Half way between one thrust and the next, there was a knock at the door. Horacio’s shoulders drooped. Still buried inside her, he blew out a disappointed breath and looked at Eva with almost a smile, “That’s Javier.”

“No shit.”

“I told you we didn’t have enough time.”

He had, and Eva was disappointed to find out that the was right.

Another knock.

Horacio kissed her briefly and eased away. Eva sat up, pressing her legs together and smoothing the folds of her dress. She was grateful that the material wasn’t prone to wrinkling or she’d have to change.

Having righted his own clothing, Horacio looked her over one more time and went to answer the door. She heard him speaking with Javier and offering a beer. While she ran her hands through her hair and touched up her makeup, they went over the plan again.

As usual, Diego would parade around town, making a spectacle of himself. Nothing different from what he’d been doing the last few weeks. Eva would tag along with him, which was also not much different.

Except…

Except, this time, Eva wouldn’t play the part of the fearful omega or the put-upon accountant. This time, Eva would play a role both familiar and alien to her.

The lover.

Eva would hang from Horacio’s arm the whole night, doing her best to show anyone who might look their way that she was infatuated with him. Not a difficult task, if she were being honest. All Eva had to do was exaggerate the way she already wanted him—which was also not a difficult task.

She could still feel him inside her, could still feel the way her pussy wrapped around his length. Her body was gently simmering, reminding her that they’d been interrupted. The idea that she might be able to draw him back into the bedroom drifted across her mind, but Eva knew that Horacio’s attention had fully shifted to the mission. It would be a waste of time to try.

God, but she still wanted him.

Eva always wanted him. She always wanted to be near him. Nothing about that was surprising. But, there was something intense about how she wanted him now. About the way she wanted him. And, the things she wanted from him. Her feelings were a jumble of arousal and frustration and something that resembled anger, but wasn’t.

She stepped into her heels and wondered if she should be worried. It almost felt like she should be.

Horacio walked into the bedroom, “Almost ready?”

“Almost,” she answered, voice high and breathy, “I just need to get my purse.” And the gun inside it.

He moved to the bed and picked up the belt he’d discarded earlier, slipping it through the loops, “Javier will drive us. He says Josh and his people have been seen at this bar a few times a week for months. If we’re lucky, he’ll get an eyeful tonight.”

At least someone is going to get lucky, Eva thought wryly as she grabbed her clutch from where it sat on the dresser. “You think he’ll start a fight, if he does get an eyeful?”

Horacio shrugged, “We’ll be ready, if he does.”

Tempted to roll her eyes, Eva turned from him to go out into the living room with every intention of having a drink before heading out. A hand caught her elbow, stopping the movement. She looked back at Horacio with a question in her eyes.

He leaned down to speak directly into her ear, voice low, “I know you’re unhappy that we didn’t…” his words trailed off. Before Eva could reassure him that she understood why they hadn’t finished what they started, he continued in a direct, raw voice, “When we get back, I’ll do whatever you want. For as long as you want.”

She believed him. She totally fucking believed him.

Not waiting for a response, Horacio ushered Eva out of the bedroom and down the hall to the living room where Javier was waiting on the couch. Eva, still flustered, offered him an awkward wave and bee-lined for the kitchen to pour a glass of much needed liquor.

While she poured, the phone rang.

Horacio picked it up. The conversation was too low for her to hear, let alone translate. By the time she carried her drink to the living room, he was telling Javier that they could spare a man or two.

“What happened?”

Horacio very nearly grinned, “We found Josh’s lab.”

Eva was impressed, “That’s great news!”

A nod, “We’re sending someone to scout the area.”

“So, does that mean we aren’t going out tonight?” Eva tried to keep the hope from her voice and didn’t quite manage it.

Horacio caught her meaning, “Its better if we stick to the plan.”

Javier, seeing Eva’s pout, said, “Don’t worry. You’ll do fine. And, if shit goes sideways, we have back up.”

She let him continue to think that she was worried about her performance and not put-out by the delay in fantastic sex.

“We should go,” Horacio announced, glancing at his watch.

She threw back the rest of her drink and followed the two of them to the car. Horacio surprised her by sliding into the back seat beside her. He pulled Eva against his body and laid a hand on her thigh while Javier turned over the engine and pulled out of the lot.

Eva leaned into Horacio, watching the scenery flash by in a swirl of lights. The night was warm with the first hints of summer. People were out and about, eager to blow off steam after a long work week. She could see them laughing and drinking and dancing every time Javier slowed to a stop.

Normal people doing normal things.

In the enclosed space of the car, Eva could not escape the man beside her. He was practically wrapped around her body, a few inches from pulling her into his lap. His scent was similarly all around, filling her nose and reminding her that—after weeks of restraint—Eva was allowed to touch him in front of other people.

She traced little circles over the hand on her thigh, listening to his breaths. They weren’t quite even, hitching now and again when she ran her fingers over the sensitive skin of his wrist. He kept his eyes on the road ahead, but Eva knew she had his attention.

The bar was packed when they walked through the doors. Horacio led her further inside with an arm around her waist while Javier dealt with the hostess. A well placed wad of folded bills got them a table in the back of the room. Eva slid into the booth, surprised when Horacio rattled off an order of drinks before she’d even settled into the seat.

She forgot that he wasn’t Horacio, now. Eva was out with Diego, and he would act accordingly. She tried to remember what Diego was like, what he was prone to do. Her memory helpfully supplied half a dozen instances where he was a complete ass. As much as she knew it wasn’t actually Diego sitting next to her, Eva wondered if she could keep her composure when he inevitably stepped out of line.

You’re overthinking it, a voice in her head prompted.

Agreeing with herself, Eva crossed her legs and tried to relax. Horacio noticed her heightened anxiety—because of course he did—and reached for her. He pulled both of her legs over one of his thighs, patting her hip affectionately. Eva giggled, feeling a bit ridiculous, but let him do as he liked.

The music was loud, making conversation difficult. Eva was glad for it. She didn’t feel much like talking. Didn’t think she could manage it when her mind was singularly focused on Horacio.

She watched him watch the room, watched the way his mouth moved when he sipped his drink, watched the way the lights flashed across his skin. Reaching up, Eva wrapped a finger around a curl that fell over his collar. He hadn’t had time to style it and she smirked when she thought about why.

Horacio caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. Eva had to bite her lip to keep the moan at bay. She met his stare, letting the molten heat in it wash over her. It settled low in her gut, causing goosebumps to rise.

Eva’s world was very small for those few hours. Javier got up and circled the room now and again, but Horacio stayed right where he was—and, Eva stayed with him. She drank the fruity little cocktail he ordered for her and listened absently to the music. All the while, Eva indulged in every urge to touch and kiss and sink deep into Horacio’s warmth.

He encouraged her, taking even a light caress and turning it into something hot and lingering. His hand supported her neck while he nuzzled it, mouth rubbing over her gland. He smirked when she moaned low in her throat and he outright laughed when she swatted at him in annoyance.

At one point, his hand dropped down beneath the table and eased her legs apart. Very slowly, he rubbed up her thigh until his fingers met her center. Horacio’s eyes grew dark when he discovered that she was still bare beneath. His mouth opened as he drew in a breath to speak.

Javier dropped down into the booth, “We got trouble.”

Horacio cut him a look, “What?”

“One of the girls says she saw Josh and a few guys circle the bar, then drive away.”

Eva felt her stomach drop, “What does that mean?”

Javier shrugged, “Means that we missed our chance tonight.”

Horacio cursed and withdrew his hand, “I want to talk to her.”

He helped her off his lap and stood. Eva scooted along with him, saying that she had to use the restroom. She would meet them by the bar when she was done. Clutch in hand, Eva sidled off to the restroom.

There was a line, which wasn’t surprising, given the crowd. Eva leaned against the wall, moving a few inches forward at a time. She kept her eyes peeled for anyone that might be out of place, that might not be who they pretended to be. Eva didn’t necessarily want to use the gun in her bag, but she was prepared to protect herself.

Once she made it into the stall, she sat down and rested her head in her hands. Nausea made itself known, and not in the way it did when she drank too much. Her belly cramped, pulling at muscle and swollen flesh. Eva tried to breathe through it, but the feeling refused to abate.

Curious, she looked between her legs to find a slow, steady drip of slick. Warm and vaguely embarrassed, she wiped at it only to find more in its place. And, with every touch, it seemed to grow. Her body bloomed with energy. Sensation zinged from her core up into her head and back down again.

She stood, one hand catching her balance on the stall door. What the fuck?, left her mouth in a whisper. At the sink, with at least a dozen women angling around her for the mirror, Eva had to rest her hand on the counter while she caught her breath. She felt like she might faint.

Omega, came a gentle voice. Omega, you need to find a safe place.

Eva looked up at the woman, barely comprehending.

Hand on her arm, she continued in heavily accented Spanish, You don’t have much time.

She couldn’t remember the words to tell her how she couldn’t understand, so Eva settled for shaking her head and making a ‘huh?’ gesture.

The heat, she said. It won’t be much longer. Do you have a safe place to go?

Eva blinked at her, mouth open in shock. She hadn’t even considered that she might have a heat, let alone planned for one. Did she have a safe place to go?

Horacio’s face drifted before her mind’s eye. His smile. His scent. His strength.

“Yes,” she said in a voice that cracked, “I have a safe place.”

#Shadow and Veil #narcos #Horacio carrillo #carrillo #maurice compte #au #A/B/O dynamics

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notsocheezy · 5 months

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Brain Curd #24

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction, posted daily and usually written with the intention of being terrible… in an endearing way. Please enjoy.

Millionaire Robert Green stepped out of his limo onto the red carpet. As a film producer, he was always invited to awards shows, and often forgot that producers were not meant to be the center of attention. This evening, he wore a peacock-patterned suit, eleven gold rings (you do not want to know where the extra one was), freshly shined black leather boots, a hat with a long feather sticking out of it, and sunglasses that he absolutely didn’t need to be wearing.

He walked the red carpet, ruining photo ops by putting his arms on every actor’s shoulders as he passed by, refusing to move until a dozen photos were shot of each interaction. He wanted to live eternally in the minds of the public. The trouble was that he didn’t have a creative bone in his body and nobody cared about him. This outfit he wore, as ostentatious and distasteful as it was, was his wife’s idea - and she only suggested it because she suspected he was cheating on her.

Satisfied by the attention, he made his way inside the venue and sat down in his assigned seat, next to the other producers, who were blinded by the reflections from his rings (including the eleventh one, as he forgot to zip up). Not even any of them wanted to talk to him, though he tried his best.

“Hey,” Green said, trying to do small talk. “Nice weather, huh?”

“Yeah… it was fine.” The other producer replied. “I have a husband.”

“Who is he? Maybe I’ve worked with him.”

“You wouldn’t have. He only works on really high end productions.”

“I’ve worked on high end productions! For example, DarkLove -”

“Never heard of it,” she said.

“Easy Girls?”

“Never heard of it,” she said.

“It Goes Up?”

“There’s no way that one’s real.”

“It was on Netflix!”

“Everything was on Netflix.”

“No, Everything was on Max. I should know, I worked on that show too.”

“Did you produce House of Cards?”

“No.” He answered.

“That’s too bad. I would have loved to gossip about Kevin Spacey.”

“Oh yeah? I met him a couple times. I always thought he was just a really good method actor who stayed in character between shoots.”

“He was, but a little part of him always poked out.”

“He should have kept it in his pants.”

“You too.” Her eyes flicked downward.

Millionaire Robert Green zipped up. “Sorry about that.”

#NSC Original #brain curd #brain curds #writing #creative writing #writeblr #flash fiction #author #writer things #writers #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #writerscommunity #women writers #female writers #queer writers

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revoltagainstcoffee · 5 years

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Alright, ADOW Season Two spam session complete. I haven’t been on my computer and got dragged out to clubs

But you know I was admiring that released still on my phone while everyone was dancing

#A discovery of witches #Shadow of night #ADOW season 2 #adow casting news #fictional husband in leather pants #of course I couldn't stop myself

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billsfangearring · 2 years

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So you want to read about 2000s Harry Potter fandom drama

Let me introduce you to my favorite subreddit, r/hobbydrama, by way of posts about some of the most sordid moments in early Harry Potter fandom history.

Content warning: While most of these are amusing Internet dramas, the first one is genuinely awful, as will be clear from the summary.

I've put them in chronological order and pulled the summaries from the posts. Many thanks to everyone on Reddit who put these posts together!

Popular author turns out to be a cult leader (Late 1990s-2015*)

TL;DR: A famous fanfiction author turns out to be a real creep. He uses a lot of pseudonyms and sockpuppets, convinces some of his fans to move in with him, claims to mind-meld with fictional characters, insists his fanfiction is better than Harry Potter itself, and has questionable views on women. Oh, and he was involved in a triple homicide and used the girl's death for fun and profit.

*Edited to fix my "2005" typo. Sorry! Thank you @olderthannetfic for the catch.

The Cassandra Cla(i)re Saga (2000-2016)

TL;DR: The author of the fanfic trilogy that popularized “Draco in Leather Pants” is also a famous YA author, with a long, complicated history involving fandom drama and Ginny/Ron romance fic.

Married to Severus Snape on the Astral Plane: The Story of the Religion of Snapewives (early 2000s-early 2010s)

TL;DR: There was an actual religion centering on Severus Snape, who was portrayed as an eternal and divine being similar to the Christian God. It had theological arguments, early schisms, and its own vows and prayers, which were all taken completely seriously by its followers, the Snapeists.

Bored woman creates 12+ sockpuppet accounts, becomes a fandom celebrity (2002-2006)

TL;DR: Woman wants to be a part of the popular clique, uses a combination of ridiculous lies, made-up fangirls, and Christian strawmen sockpuppets to build up enough fame to join the popular clique. Is eventually exposed.

J.K. Rowling's husband's "fake" appendicitis, symbolic hippogriff romance, evil Chinese abortions, and the genetics of shipping the wrong ships: tales from the Harmony vs. Ronmione ship war (2005-2007)

A not-so-brief, still not at all comprehensive account of some of the earliest, stupidest Harry Potter shipping drama. Many thanks to the archived remnants of Fan Wank for detailing all of this, and to the people who made this extra funny by coming up with some of the most batshit ship names and insults I’ve ever seen. Merlin bless the good ship Ronmione/Romione/Heron/whateverthefuck, long may she sail. And, though the HMS Harmony/PumpkinPie/whateverthefuckelse capsized long ago, may her memory live on.

Goffick Harry Potter and Fabricated Child Abuse: The Saga of My Immortal (2006-2007, 2017)

Here’s another summary of ridiculous internet drama. This time, it involves Hermione Granger being an emo weaboo who speaks exclusively in broken Japanese, a satanist vampire Harry Potter whose scar has turned itself into a pentagram, a teenage girl’s shitty Mary Sue who gets darker and edgier with every passing chapter, and a YA author desperate to capitalize on the unlikely success of an infamous fanfic published a decade ago. Welcome to the increasingly weird saga of My Immortal.

#harry potter #hp fandom history #fandom history #fandom wank #my immortal #tbh I have no idea how to tag this #enjoy!

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minshookie · 3 years

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All Play, No Work.

Pairing | CEO!Yoongi x reader

Genre | yandere,angst

Summary | “your secret relationship with Yoongi is all smooth sailing,until Mrs Kim gets in the way.”

!warnings! | mature language, workplace bullying, gossip, and infidelity. Also some pretty steamy scenes, for readers 18+.

| this is not in anyway shape or form a true depiction or representation of BTS, this is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously. For entertainment purposes only.|(this is my work, please don’t repost or steal)

Requested [open for request] words: 2k.

A/N | “I’m so happy you enjoyed “meetings at midnight.” I never really expected over 100 notes that’s crazy! I may have gotten a little carried away with this one but I hope you don’t mind & enjoy it as well. I’ll probably be making a part 2, please take any mistakes as love ❤️”

The disturbing rattle of the air conditioner served as white noise while you toyed with the drooping noodles swimming in the savory sauce placed before you. A few of your coworkers droned on about their plans, their kids and undeserving husbands leaving you alone in the corner of the depressing break room to think about what to expect when getting back to your cubicle. Which was a little less depressing than the powder white painted room you resided in now.

“Y/L/N, Min is asking for you.” The conversations stopped and all three of us looked up into the door frame. Jimin,Yoongi's assistant stood with his hands buried in his stiffly pressed pants pockets. “I-I’m on lunch.” You slowly went back to your lukewarm meal, taking a few noodles into your mouth. Chewing, You waited for the heavy pitter patter of his polished leather loafers to exit, but You never get what you wish for.

“Y/N, please don’t make me have to run back up there just to run back down here and tell you the same thing….c’mon.” He came closing your tupperware, sighing as you pushed it into your lunch bag, embarrassment growing on your features as he stood over you. The stare of nosey coworkers followed as you stepped out of the bland break room. The clacking of Jimin’s shoes found your nerves rather quickly, closely he walked behind you like a school principal making sure you went where instructed.

Taking you past your cubicle to leave your lunch you could almost taste the jealousy being thrown at you like missiles. Disapproving and confused whispers and glares followed you out the area. Reaching the stairs, out of sight of your colleagues you out ran Jimin, the looks, noises and scoffs getting the best of you. You practically threw yourself through yoongi's door, your heart pounding in your ears.

“Hey! hey! Bunny, got here quickly didn’t you?” He walked over locking his loyal assistant out. Falling back on the couch struggling for your breath, closing your eyes, you heard him walk around you. “I told you I’d see you after work, we’d have all night together.” Sighing, he pulls you up by your arms. With a grunt he sat down and replaced your head on his lap. “I know what you said, but did you really think I was going to wait...why should i?” Opening your eyes you met his soft gaze. “Tell me you love me.” He whispers, almost ashamed in himself. Needy, needy,needy,always needy. “This can’t be why you called me in.”

“Why should I?” You laughed, obviously he didn’t share your sense of humor as he tugged harshly on a strand of your hair. “Well if I didn’t love you I’d quit Yoongi.” Rolling over you cuddled into his soft tummy inhaling his masculin scent, this here under him locked in his dim office was your safe place. “No you wouldn’t, I pay you too much.” He murmured petting your back with his large hands. “As if!” You giggled into his tummy, pulling back to look up at your lover. His signature smile displayed on his features, moving his hands from your back he places his limber fingers at the back of your knee. Locking eyes he slid skillfully under your skirt to massage your ass over your panties. “Who were you hiding from today hm?” Groaning you rolled your eyes, you hate how he knows you so well.

“Kim?” “Mrs Kim is the least of my worries now.” You grimaced playing with his buttons. “Mm good, can't be the new girl, maybe her boyfriend?” Your eyes shot open, “boyfriend?! Who?” He planted this topic in the conversation, knowing your interest in the drama of your workplace. “Yeah, she’s running around with the coffee boy.” Laughing, he cut himself off “Jungkook.” He laughed almost uncontrollably. “That’s so cute since when?!” He hums calming down, “uh since about last month, I’ve been watching them get all close and flirty jeon puts extra cream in her coffee, she blushes blah blah. And you know Jimin is the nosiest person in the population of this place.”

You chuckled Nodding in agreeance “learned that way before you did, he was my cubicle neighbor before he was your assistant.” Sitting up you go to his drink cart to grab a bottle of water. “Yeah they’re cute as long as they stay on task, Answer the question though, who’s bothering my baby hm? I hate seeing you that way.” He comes from behind gliding his hands around your front pulling you into his embrace “you have a whole cafeteria in the next wing, I made sure they served your favorite today, and yet you chose the shitty break closet.” His rambling turns into background noise as you look through the one way window. Watching as your coworkers attended their duties, Jungkook balanced coffees in his arms with skill the new girl watched in admiration...I wonder what he’s actually here for.

Yoongi’s breath fans your neck causing you to shiver against him. “I’m sorry what’d you say?” “You’re ok.” He turns you around swiftly kissing you passionately against the glass obviously you’ve missed something. Though unseen the act feels extremely dirty. Dropping your water you cling to his shoulders, legs around his Slender waist. “You're not paying me to make out with you I hope.” He pecks your nose, gnawing his bottom lip. “Huh looks like I am.” “Ah, as tempting as that sounds Yoongs-” “don’t ever call me that.” He nips at your neck in retaliation. “I have a stack of papers on my desk that Mr Jimin has been beating me over the head about.” Groaning he loosens his grip around you. Letting you gather yourself before going to his door.

“I’ll see you tonight yeah?” Pouting,he came kissing your lips once more. “I’ll be waiting.” He opened the door and watched you strut down the stairs.

Getting back to your respectful area, you notice something was off...where’d your lunch go? You could’ve sworn you threw it on your desk. Pulling out the rolling chair to take a seat, “I’ll find it later.” You whispered to yourself,taking a seat, directly in the cold remains of your lunch. “What the fuck!” A wave of laughter was given with your ill response. Noodles dangled from your backside as you turned to look at the mess on your office chair.

“Okay! What are we a bunch of middle school virgins?” Jimin shouted, his face turning a dark shade of peach. “I’m sorry y/n.” Rolling your eyes you tried to keep back tears of utter embarrassment turning away from you colleagues. “Uhm...it’s pretty bad, do you have anything to change into?” He takes off his styled coat and hands it to you. You can’t process over the harsh giggles and whispers, “yeah like I have a closet in my car, Jimin I don’t have shit to put on!” You hiss making him pull an offended expression.

“I could give you something.” Your head snapped in the direction of the quiet new girl in the far corner. “I have a few dresses in car I-I I’m in the process of…” she scans the room unsure of her words “moving.” You offer a smile to cover how distraught you are, unable to respond correctly. “Thank you luci, we appreciate it.” Nodding she smiles softly grabbing her bag going to retrieve the clothes. “Go to the restroom, please.”

Tying the coat around your waist you rushed with your head down to the bathroom, shutting the door behind yourself roughly. Taking off the grey coat Turing to examine your soup covered ass. You brushed the cold noodles letting them splat onto the tiled floor. Pulling coat off the conjoined sinks you found the spacious stall at the end of the row, stripping off your soiled skirt. Nothing better to do, but to sit on the cold stool and wait.

The creaking door of the bathroom cut your silent thoughts short, isn’t Luci a quick one? You chuckled to yourself getting up, about to tell her of your whereabouts…“maybe if the bitch didn’t have her head so far up Min’s ass she woulda saw it coming.” The unknown voice stopped you in your tracks. Her friend snickers. “Shh she could be in here.” “As if I give a fuck, she needs to know!” Peeking through the side of the stall you could see them in the mirror touching up their makeup. “Min’s probably got his head up hers too!” The quieter of the two spoke up.

“Ha that would explain my recent hours, I heard they fuck in the office, I wonder if the sluts any good.” She cleaned the edges of her lipstick, “I’ve fucked him, I know he’s good, really into all the rough shit, he’s crazy.” She tossed her makeup into her bag fixing her hair, “why’d you guys stop?” You felt your chest ache, yoongi never told you about him and Mrs Kim, what kind of fucked story is this? “Little miss pasta booty got the job, and Joon finally proposed...guess he didn’t want me any-” “y/n are you in here?!” Luci’s softened voice searched for you.

“I’m in here.” Responding slightly above a whisper, the soft steps of her pumps were trampled by the clicking steps of the two mud slingers who quickly bursted from the restroom. “I didn’t know what you would like, I have this blue one, it’s a cute summer dress.” She hung it on the door of the stall for me to see. “Or this white one, it’s a bit tighter but I think it’ll look great on you.” Randomly choosing you stripped of your top pulling the dress over yourself. “Thanks Luci, I owe you one.” Collecting your clothes and Jimin’s coat, you left the stall. “No no, I’m sorry Kim did that to you...I should’ve stopped her.” She coyly hangs her head, “not your fault...thanks Luci.” She smiles politely, leaving me alone in the bathroom.

Eunji That jealous bitch, yoongi has much explaining to do. You smooth out your dress bracing yourself for the environment behind the door. only to be pushed back. A deep blush pink shade covering his face, yoongi brings you back in, “you can’t be in here, this is the ladies.” He scans your body before looking at the dirty laundry in your arms. “This is my building. I can be anywhere in any room I want.” Scoffing you attempt to leave, grabbing your forearm he pulls you back. “What’s going on with you I’m here to check and see if you’re alright and here you are acting like an ass y/n” his face held a concerned stare.

“Yoongi the last thing we should be doing is huddling in the bathroom, we’ve drawn enough attention to ‘us’ already.” Unable to look him in the eyes you examine his posture, he propped your chin on his pointer finger bringing your face up. “And since when did you care?” “Ever since your ex painted my ass with my lunch.” He giggled darkly, “what?” Again you attempted escape, only to be overpowered and lifted with ease. “Okay sit the fuck down.” Placing you down in the sink like a child he took your skirt looking at the back. “And this just had to be the one I bought?.” He shook his head like a disappointed father. “What are you acting so mad towards me for, who’s supposedly my ex huh?” He took the skirt under the faucet scrubbing it harshly together with soap.

Why can’t he ever just leave you alone, drawing attention to your relationship was the last thing you needed today. It’s not like nobody knew, it was hard not to. But you hated the unwanted attention the favoritism brought you. “Who lied to you?” “You did.” He stopped the water, “y/n now you know I’d never.” He folded the cleaned wet skirt along with your shirt. “Yoongi, I heard Kim Eunji talking about it. She told her little follower about it while I hid in the stall.” You answered blandly, ready to be freed from the bathroom. His face shifted shades, “what? I’ve never fucked that bitch, all she does is lie and get into shit she has no concern for.” He gripped the sink roughly.

Like a switch, when the right buttons were pushed Yoongi’s temper was quick to strike….though never thrown at you. It can have harsh outcomes and you've seen it first hand. “She runs her mouth about you too much, I’ll have to help her out.” Aggressively released the marble counter, “Yoongi w-what, calm down.” He walked to the door, unsure of what to do. Naive of his wrath you followed behind. “She wants to get fucked? I’ll give her something that’ll fuck her up, something that’ll make her piss off for good this time.”

Not my image

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neonponders · 3 years

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*sigh* catch me projecting on a Saturday.

I read this post ( @lazybakerart you wizard - ALSO IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?????? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹) and am now thinking about a sugardaddy!Billy with an ace!Steve. (*emphasis on grey ace*)

* Please nobody attack me for writing about leather fashion. I’m vegetarian and it’s fiction. Live a little. *

Read on ao3 ~

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹

Steve just kind of stared at the box on the restaurant table. It wasn’t a ring box, but it was velvet. Goodness knew how many of these he’d seen in his life.

Steve knew wealth. He knew money, and all of the material variations therein.

He’d gotten pedicures with his mother before his father declared such a thing unfit for a boy coming into puberty. If you look like a man, act like a man. As if men didn’t have feet, or something.

Then he went to the salon. That wasn’t so easy to take away. Ventures with her son seemed to be the only things keeping Mrs. Harrington from being connected to her husband’s hip, so Mr. Harrington let them both have this one. Steve, fresh out of graduation, being given a hairdresser’s chair to accomplish summer-fresh highlights.

Mrs. Harrington was also the type of woman to enjoy shoes. Everyone has a thing. For some, they had bags. Others, jewelry. Vintage furniture. Designer wallpaper. Mrs. Harrington enjoyed shoes. It was where Steve learned to carry a woman’s bags, but he didn’t stay outside of the store. He learned how to clean suede, the difference between a 130 So Kate and an ordinary heel. What fetish meant in terms of fashion. He can convert heels sizes in millimeters to inches faster than a cashier calculating change.

Tommy and Carol had joked about Steve’s father having a different kind of fetish. Nothing to do with fashion, and everything to do with sex. Steve had foolishly let them into his mother’s bedroom and they were having a field day with a shoe closet that cost more than both of their houses combined. Still smelling of Nancy and pool chlorine, Steve as good as ended that friendship right there.

Because they didn’t get it.

Mr. Harrington certainly didn’t get it. Could never have such a sexual inclination because he didn’t understand pampering or indulgent interests.

He understood favors. Material apologies.

Mrs. Harrington had a collection of pearls and diamonds that she never wore.

Steve knew she liked opals and pink, pink rubies, because Steve liked opals too. Because he used his father’s money to buy ruby studs his mother actually wore. Because he gets her oldest, broken bracelet with green amber fixed, and she wears it until it breaks again. And then she presented Steve with a thin, gold chain to go around his ankle. With a gleaming, green amber stone flanked by two opals.

The green goes with our eyes, she said. Someone special will see the green in all that brown. It’s why we look good in reds.

Steve was still looking at the box on the table.

“It’s not going to catch fire, the longer you glare at it.”

His dark hazel, creek water eyes slanted up to the man sitting opposite him.

Billy Hargrove.

Stubborn to a fault. Gorgeous as Lucifer with wings freshly burnt off. And just as dangerous.

“I thought I said no more gifts.”

“And I ignored you. Open it.”

Steve went about it like ripping off a bandaid. He sighed at the window beside their booth, wrenching the thing open to see -

Diamonds.

He shut it with a loud clap and set it on Billy’s placemat. “No, thanks.”

The man’s features froze in tolerant stoicism, but he eased the box inside his suit jacket pocket. “You’re a hard one to shop for.”

Steve’s eyes widened dramatically over his wine glass of water. Not because he was sober - he’d willingly pay for an overpriced red, himself, if the handsome asshole weren’t trying to wave his wallet everywhere. “You can stop trying to buy your way into my pants any time you want.”

“If that’s all I wanted, I would’ve stopped three months ago.”

Three months ago,

When Billy breezed into Steve’s life as easily as he had senior year of high school. The two of them certainly deserved some kind of award for having a bizarre history.

Within a handful of months, Billy had arrived upon a turbulent time in Steve’s life, and then left nearly as quickly. Billy witnessed Steve and Nancy’s break-up, Steve’s fall from Hawkins High grace, and even beat his face a little bit. Because that’s what teenage men with bad emotional processing and even worse communication skills do.

Now, almost ten years later, Billy had some kind of empire behind him and Steve, well, didn’t. He had no idea what Billy’s job consisted of, but he got little hints. Mostly the negative space from Billy’s lack of discussing his job told Steve a whole lot.

Steve, who worked two jobs and occasional gigs wherever he was needed. During one such time, while Steve managed the cables and sound boards for Robin’s band, Billy Hargrove sauntered up to him with just as much charm mixed with hauteur as he’d ever displayed.

It wasn’t like meeting an old friend, because they had never been more than acquaintances, and roughly ten years was enough time for a personality to evolve ten different ways.

Steve couldn’t say how much he and Billy had evolved, really, but there was a point in there somewhere.

Maybe it lived in the, “I never expected to see you in a dyke club, pretty boy,” since it was all the coming out either of them needed.

Or the wanton kisses and fervent hands underneath the neon rainbow on the venue’s wall.

Maybe the point sat in the things Billy wanted, and what Steve was reticent to provide. Because Billy was a king who knew what he liked, and seemed particularly talented at walking into Steve’s personal crises like an anniversary.

Steve craved.

But he didn’t know what he craved. What he yearned for. He knew Billy’s kisses made his brain go molten and fuzzy. He knew Billy’s smell brought him just as much comfort, excitement, and anxiety. He knew finally being outside of sex-crazed high school had deflated something in him. The expectations to perform. He knew losing Robin’s stupid game of You Rule / You Suck gave him a secret gift of relief.

But he still craved. He wanted touch but he wanted to be alone. He wanted companionship but he didn’t want sex. But he did enjoy sex, except he didn’t want the expectation of it.

Well.

That was it, wasn’t it?

Billy Hargrove, who could have anyone he wanted plastered to his stupid, unbuttoned chest, had sought out Steve. Steve, king of mixed signals, Harrington. It was only a matter of time before he got his face beaten again. For wasting Billy’s time. For refusing Billy’s advances even though Steve clearly enjoyed Billy’s lips on his neck, and Billy’s hand on his inner thigh. For wanting Billy’s company and flirtation without the rules that finished in the bedroom.

So Steve refused the gifts. The material favors he could’ve sold for a better apartment. Fucked his way to owning a house that his mom would feel comfortable visiting. Be an unfeeling toy who could pay for his mother’s shoes and his own pedicures.

“Steve?”

He turned away from the window and the city’s electric constellations. “Hm?”

“Where’d you go?”

The back of Steve’s throat ached. He looked down at their appetizer plates and decided, “I think I’m going home.” After a second of them both hearing it out loud, Steve said with more conviction, “I need to be home right now. I’m sorry. Thanks for dinner.”

He almost reached for his wallet to pay for his half of the artichoke dip, but reconsidered. He took his old prom tuxedo jacket off on the way to the elevator, waiting for the doors to close before he pressed his face into the old fibers.

It would be easier if Steve didn’t know money. If wealth were a foreign pillow he had never slept on; could be spoiled into never giving it up again.

Like a true mother with a sixth sense, Steve withdrew a package from his mailbox when he returned to his apartment building. Mrs. Harrington’s versions of care packages were fashion magazines, a subscription to The New Yorker, polaroids of her latest closet pieces, and Steve’s favorite candy.

He loved it all. He didn’t need laminated recipes, bags of rice, or resupplied hair products. He went up to his bedroom, stripped down to nothing, and fell into bed with the hefty parcel. Fruity hard candies fell out like confetti, and he stuck a green apple square inside his cheek while he looked through her baggie of polaroids.

Peach suede 130s. Steve felt a warm tickle in his belly at that. She only wore 130s if she was pissed at his father. A woman in 130s walked with the force of a storm, mostly because the damn things were nearly intolerable to wear without a platform.

Another pair of diamond earrings. One of these days, people were going to realize how boring clear rocks were.

Dark, amethyst Miu Mius with the heel and toe encrusted with pearls. Steve’s dad must’ve really pissed her off to warrant that apology.

The magazine subscription had piled up, so he had three New Yorkers to read, but he opened the tome of Vogue first. His mother dog-earred her favorite articles, scent samples, and spreads. She often favored the androgynous and male fragrances. Steve liked that a whole lot. He wasn’t sure if she did that for him because he liked them, or if he liked them because she did that.

He held the magazine to his face as he went to the kitchen, smelling the first fragrance sample while he reached for his cache of boxed cake mix. It was a funfetti kind of night. He rattled the package of sprinkles in his hand while reading about some summer collection where the runway happened in a Greek ampitheatre. Sounded fun. Sounded like a great vacation. Beach, wine, and then modern art fusing with ancient architecture.

Steve didn’t excel in chemistry, but he knew a different kind of magic.

Which didn’t actually include baking. The cake emerged a little dark, but he cut off the burnt top, iced it to glorious, sugar perfection, and took a slice to bed with him. He turned the parcel upside-down for the last of the candy to come out so he could throw the envelope away -

Two bottles of nail polish landed heavily on the bed. Steve lifted the darker bottle to see a purple so ebony he thought it was black until he opened it to see the paint up close.

Purple and peach. To match his mother’s shoes.

Not many people understood his parents’ methods of producing or avoiding affection. But Steve did. He shook up the poison violet and painted his toenails in between forkfuls of cake.

He didn’t hear from Billy the next day.

Or the next.

As bad as Steve felt, he couldn’t say he minded. Nor would he be surprised if Billy never called him again. The idea brought a lonely peace during the commute to work, reading his magazines on the train before keeping them safe in a folder that he stuffed inside his backpack. Even if Steve’s chest felt like a cold balloon, with its latex worn thin and tired, he had his little things to keep him warm.

Then a knock on his apartment door.

Steve answered it with a cheek full of cake, interrupted from making his grocery list of actual nutritional value -

Billy had never visited before. Steve stared at him long enough for him to ask, “Are you going to let me in?”

Steve glanced at the box under his arm and turned into his apartment with a sigh. Billy closed the door behind him as he remarked, “You don’t know what’s in it yet.”

There wasn’t exactly anywhere for Steve to theatrically storm off to. His kitchen was also his living room, and a half-wall partitioned the bedroom off to the side. His apartment was one long rectangle, and Steve remained stuck in the middle of it.

“Billy, I don’t know what you want from me that you think you can get from expensive things.”

“I don’t recall asking for anything in return,” he drawled while removing his coat.

“Don’t take that off,” Steve retorted.

“I’m taking it off.”

“This isn’t going to be a long visit.”

“Would you at least open the damn thing first?” Billy presented the box on the flat of his hand like a waiter’s tray.

Steve knew a shoe box when he saw one. He swatted the lid off the box before he even meant to. He was so tired of this game. Of these rules. He doesn’t want to see some snotty designer sneaker that isn’t to his taste. Some item the rules would dictate he accept without complaint. Or some chunky, foamy plastic, glorified tennis shoe that is over hyped . . .

He sees the red first.

It’s not a sneaker.

Hot Chick heels. 100mm. Black suede on top, red bottom. The leather around the heel scallop-cut like minimalist flower petals.

Steve’s breath has stopped in his chest. The pad of his thumb moved across the soft, matte leather before he stops himself. He tries to look stern when he dares to peek up at Billy, but those water-turquoise eyes are steady on him, absorbing his every reaction.

“These don’t exist in suede.”

Because they didn’t. Hot Chicks came in patent leather only.

“They do now.”

“Louboutin sizes down.”

“Then we’ll have them stretched.”

Steve is losing. Billy knows he’s losing. Billy - he -

“How - ?” Steve begins but stops. He closed his eyes and swallowed, only to flinch a little when Billy grasped his chin, holding him in place as he leaned in to lick the corner of his mouth free of icing.

“Will you try them on for me?”

Steve feels a mixture of defeat mixed in with petulance and vulnerable glee as he warily takes the box to his humble couch. Billy looked at his bed, and then to the kitchen on the other side of the apartment. He strolled into it and lifted the knife for a slice.

Steve, meanwhile, took his time. He opened the paper from where it had floated back over the shoes. He lifted the box to inhale the leather. He took one shoe out just to...see it. Look at it. Read the number stamped on the red arch.

Steve had to remove his socks, revealing his lacquered toes as Billy sat next to him with a plate. He eased the coffee table out of the way, giving Steve room to wiggle his foot into the severe 100mm heel.

They were hardly glamorous under his old, cut-off sweats.

But.

He’d never actually seen his feet in heels before. Never bothered to try to find his size.

Billy handed him the other shoe, and stood up with a ready hand. Steve wiggled into it and accepted his hold as he stood up.

How do you walk in those? he’d once asked his mother.

Trust the heel, my love, she’d answered, strolling around her bedroom in her 130s. If you’ve paid enough for it, it better hold up your entire form, and your dating baggage.

Steve had laughed, but listened to her every word. Move like a wheel barrow. You pivot on your toes, like the wheel, and rest on the heels.

“I’ve got you,” Billy purred when Steve teetered. Just a little.

“Why did you get me these?” Steve had to ask while he began to ease his arm off of Billy’s shoulders.

“Might’ve had a look inside your mail,” he admitted shamelessly. “I thought you might’ve ordered something and I could finally see what you liked. Instead, it’s the one thing I’ve seen you accept.”

“You’re a creep,” Steve declared, but he couldn’t look away from his feet as he strolled around the coffee table.

Billy laughed and sat down to his cake. “This is good.”

“It’s from a box.”

“It’s still good.”

Things . . . changed, after that. Billy came over just to come over. And he pestered Steve with endless questions.

“Do you like these?” he asked with his nose against the magazine pages.

Steve towered over him in his heels, but he’d wash dishes in whatever he wanted, thanks very much. And leather needed to be worn, as his mother taught him. Plastic is trash. If it comes from a living creature, it lives on a creature.

Steve snorted beside him. “My mom crimps those pages.”

“But do you like them?”

“They’re fun in magazines, but perfumes were never really my thing.”

“What is your thing?”

“Right now? You, elbows deep in here.”

Billy perked right out of the magazine only to lock onto the sink. “Because you’re having trouble reaching it now?”

Steve meant to have a witty come-back, but he got caught up in his own giggles. “Yeah.”

Then,

“Can I stay the night?”

Something must have flashed across his face, because Billy added, “Not for sex. I’ve taken the hint, all right?”

Steve slowly unfolded his socks where he sat on the foot of the bed. “Why do you want to?”

Billy wiped his hands on the dish towel and padded across the room to sit beside him. “Because I want to taste you before I sleep. And I wanna taste you when I wake up. I want your snark in my ears all the time - ”

“All the time?” Steve repeated, deadpan.

“Yeah, all the time. I can’t believe it either.”

Billy’s features were warm, unbelievably warm as he watched Steve laugh. “Of course I want to have sex with you. But I miss you when... I miss you all the time. It’s embarrassing.”

Steve rolled his eyes onto him, to which Billy defended, “I have things to do.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re the big man in town,” Steve babied, pushing his chest so he toppled backward.

“I am, actually,” he crooned, his hands finding Steve’s legs easily when he straddled him. “I’d work better with you on my desk.”

“My hairy legs and scraped up heels?” Steve threatened breathily, holding Billy’s cheek and jaw in one hand while he leaned over him so all Billy could see was Steve.

“All of it,” he exhaled, and pulled Steve’s head the last inch for a kiss.

Billy’s next gift was a pair of slippers. Plush, soft, and perfect after an afternoon in 100s.

Then he gave Steve a massage. Steve could accept those with ease. The balls of his feet hurt and even blushed a faint indigo from being so unused to heels. The warm attention of Billy’s hands on the arches of his feet, heels, and ankles; as well as the cold tennis balls he stored in Steve’s freezer to roll along his feet.

By then, he’d seen Steve’s anklet. So the next shoe box Steve opened were dark green suede, as poisonously dark as his mother’s violet heels. The toe was bare, but the heel was encrusted with opals. The milky stones flashed green and orange as Steve walked in the 120mm heel.

“How do they feel?”

Steve, with far more mastery over heels now, pivoted on his toes and planted one on the couch in between Billy’s thighs. His warm hand cradled Steve’s ankle immediately.

“What if I shaved for these?”

“Then I’d never take my hands off you.”

“So nothing would change,” Steve giggled, teasing gone as he landed on Billy’s lap. The man underneath him hummed his mirth into Steve’s mouth, his other hand burying in Steve’s hair while he let Steve control the kiss, explore his mouth.

“I thought they’d go with your eyes,” he said when the kiss petered off and Steve kissed his nose. Billy touched the pad of his thumb high on Steve’s cheek. “There’s a little bit of green there.”

Steve let Billy fuck him in those shoes.

Because he finally craved all the way, beyond fear of rules. Beyond the existence of toys. He craved Billy deeper than skin, and Billy gave it to him.

And when Billy got him a pair of 130s . . . blood red and spiked with tiny, crimson points, he let Steve fuck him.

#everything i know about shoes i learned from Violet Chachki #harringrove #ficlet #asexual!steve #sugardaddy!billy #sugarbaby!steve #neonponders #pondermoniums #lazybakerart #happy birthday love!!!#no i don't know billy's job #cover a plot hole with an unreliable narrator~

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