#finish your thesis. leave academia.

[drumlincountry]

Man, I’m just happy these days. I’m just happy. It’s wonderful. I’m grateful for it.

It shines. Everything shines. Yesterday, on a ferry I watched the waves roll over each other and catch the sunlight - and I was happy. I spent 12 hours on public transport and still I was happy.

And yes, last night I got 5 hours of sleep and today I was exhausted and sore and stressed about work. But I was also happy. I’m happy because of the autumn chill in the air. I’m happy because I saw my friends, unpacked my bags, and listened to dracula. I’m happy because I have planted roses, even though I don’t know if they will take.

This time last year was one of the worst times in my life. I was hopeless, miserable, crying every day. I knew my life was making me sick and sad, and I couldn’t keep living it. I knew it would take an enormous amount of work to build a life that I could live, that I would need so much support for it. I felt so weak and it all felt impossible.

But guess fucking what!!!! It was possible!!!!!!! I was supported!!!!! and I was capable!!!!! and I did the enormous amount of work!!!!!  AND NOW ... I’m content with my life. :)

There are problems, stresses, fears. There are big things I’m working towards that I might never achieve. There are big things I tried to do, and failed. And that’s ok! Because there are also hopes, dreams, joys. Fun! Love! Games!

My life isn’t perfect. Of course it isn’t. but it’s so much better, and I feel so much better.

[wetcatspellcaster]

While I love hearing about your fic writing, that last WIP Wendy has me curious. What is your thesis about??? How are you feeling so close to your submission deadline? What has teaching been like?

(I finished grad school 2 years ago, and remember the weight of academia acutely)

hey anon, thank you for asking (and condolences on the typo ;) )

i'm a PhD student based in a literature department, but my topic is actually... *fanfare* D&D! that's right, she's that one note, everybody!

anyway, my thesis examines D&D gameplay as reader response to fantasy literature - arguing that often, the ways people play reflects the things they wish was different in the books/media they consume. E.g. people who play/write drow or orc characters no longer tend to perpetuate the racism of the Forgotten Realms, implying they don't appreciate racism in fantasy, or people often queer their favourite characters from media and turn them into something new, etc. It basically takes theories from fan studies and fantasy literature academia, and applies them to D&D as a way of showing that D&D has always had a large role in shaping fantasy literature and what people expect from fantasy :)

as to how i feel finishing - my final deadline, due to my sick leave, is June 28th. I'm currently completing a full draft by the end of the month for my supervisors to read through and offer corrections on. Mostly... just tired? And scared, tbh. I've been funded and thus not really participating in capitalism for 3 and a half years, so I'm not exactly relishing unemployment and job hunting, and academic jobs in the UK are a depressing prospect as there's not many of them. It's also too early for me to do anything about it - the most useful thing for me to do right now is simply finish the thesis, so I don't outstay my welcome and my funding. I know I'll be fine eventually, but it's just going to suck.

Teaching is genuinely wonderful! I teach first year English Lit (basically Novel 101), which is like karma, as it's many books I didn't enjoy in my undergrad, but they are much easier to read now I'm at the skill level I'm at! If a class is chatty and invested, it's genuinely so much fun - it doesn't feel like work. But even the quiet hungover early morning classes are rewarding, bc often people get better grades in their finals than their midterms. Even if I have nothing to do with that, and they've just gotten better on their own, it's nice to see people improve and succeed :) (and know you didn't accidentally fuck em up along the way)

[howlsmovinglibrary]

hi *waves awkwardly*

here because I enjoy your fics but hope it's ok to say:

finishing your thesis and getting it submitted is a huge.deal. literal years of work.

post submission brain is a thing.

academia will leave you feeling like you haven't worked hard enough to be burnt out. (it's a trap)

so idk but if you need permission to be kind to yourself, this internet stranger hereby grants it.

Thank you beloved! This is what i needed to hear when it's no longer past 10pm and the thoughts are once again being Peer Reviewed!

[glamorouspixels]

We've reached the point where I need to ramble about uni again (apologies to everyone seeing this on their dash). I'm working on my BA thesis and getting ready to take the second of two final oral exams that make up the final assessment of my degree. I did the first in early July and it was the worst I've felt since my burnout year. It feels genuinely impossible to survive the second without losing more of myself in the process. I've sacrificed so much for this stupid degree. My life consists of nothing but studying and writing. My attention span has suffered so much that I can no longer read more than a couple of sentences with my eyes and rely on text-to-speech readers for almost everything. Reading fic is so hard even though I desperately want to do it, and I have several-hours-long gaps in my days every single day where I just sort of float through time because I'm too exhausted to make myself focus for another second.

And I just… I can't see myself surviving my Master's degree. It's only ("only") twenty courses compared to the sixty that made up my BA, but ten of them require you to write massive papers, and your final assessment once again consists of two (far bigger) oral exams and a fucking 85-page thesis. The only thing I know for certain is that I need to get out. I can't afford to do both my MA and my PhD abroad, and since the only place I can see myself surviving a full-time job is academia I need to do my MA here before I can leave. You're supposed to do all of the above in two years and it's taken me nine semesters to finish my BA instead of six. I don't want to be stuck here for another three to four years while I suffer through another degree that is so unnecessarily hard compared to degrees at the same level in other countries. I am so fucking tired of this bullshit.

Also, something else I can't really talk about has been happening on the side and making it even harder to push myself through the other stuff the way I normally would. The second anything bad happens, my mind goes to this one specific thing and place I want to go to for comfort, but I can't. It's made things so much harder these past few months. And I keep asking myself if the correct course of action would be to take said thing out of my life entirely because there is so much potential for future pain there and it's almost inevitable that something painful will happen at some point. But I don't want to give up something so incredible that makes me so happy either. Anyway I've been trying to cope by writing fics about it. I hope you guys like extremely comfort-focused hurt/comfort because that's what you'll be getting for the next couple of months 😅

[qqueenofhades]

On the subject of academia... I'm doing my MA now, and just got back a grade for a seminar. It was the most bizarre thing - on the one hand I got 100 on it, but on the other hand my professor basically said my writing is embarrassingly amateur and unprofessional. I couldn't even finish reading his notes. I'll have to go over them when I can handle it better. It just feels like a never ending battle, and with each step I take to better myself academically, I get punched in the face like lol you are a small ignorant child why are you even here? Constantly conflicted about my love of studying and writing and wanting to just get the hell out of there...

See, part of this can be, as in this case, professors who are just kind of bad at their jobs. You can commiserate with your peers via text (or, uh, on your Tumblr blog) or be like "NO" to yourself or whatever, but there's really no point in that kind of blunt-force negative comment being made directly to a student. You are a STUDENT; of course your writing is amateur and not yet to the level of perfect polish! I can guarantee that I wouldn't be able to read my old undergraduate papers and possibly even my master's thesis without dying of embarrassment, but that's the point: I learned, I repeated, I improved with work, and fortunately I never had a professor tell me that sort of thing to my face. Maybe they thought it, I don't know, but still.

Giving honest critique is one thing, but being a dick just to be a dick and flex on someone who obviously has less experience and work in the subject than you do, and is looking to you to help guide that process, is not cool. If your professor thought that your writing needed work, what he SHOULD have done is compliment you for the high grade (after all, you got a 100!) and then suggest that you take advantage of resources, i.e. the university writing center, to help continue to polish your prose. That is a helpful and not-dickish way to point you toward taking the next step and to not make it into a personal attack. You know, HIS ACTUAL JOB, rather than leaving you feeling so disheartened that you struggle to finish reading the rest of his feedback and wonder if you even want to continue investing this level of effort into it.

Anyway, academics who are bad at their jobs -- because teaching is just as important as research, and plenty of them struggle to make that distinction and/or understand exactly what they're supposed to be doing there -- grind my gears, so yes. Sympathies.

[lottiestudying]

Honours in Australia? How does one?

So it occurred to me recently that Honours is something quite specific to Australia. Obviously the term exists in academic contexts elsewhere, but we don’t use the term in the same as say, the US.

Essentially, Honours is the Australian equivalent of a British Undergraduate thesis, or maybe a research capstone project in the States. It’s completed after you have met the graduation requirements of your Bachelors, and most will just leave university to enter the workforce at that point. But for those of us with specific research interests, or needing it to qualify for better paying entry level post grad jobs, or wanting to stay in academia, it’s quite important. It generally requires an average of 70% across undergrad (around a B, although higher for more competitive degrees, like psych).

It’s essentially a PhD compressed into the space of a year (often called a mini PhD). In the end, we produce a 20,000 word thesis, as opposed to 100,000 for a PhD (or around that). We take classes in semester one—compulsory research methods, & some relevant electives (I’ll share mine later), and then thesis writing era begins in semester 2 (although we do a lot of prep writing, like lit reviews & survey design) in the methods course).

We also have a supervisor as you would in a PhD. Some departments provide you with a supervisor, others you have to find as you would a standard PhD. I went with a Professor I had in my last year of undergrad, whose general research interests matched with mine.

Grading is based on the British system (First/Second/Third etc, with breakdowns in between (High 2:1 verse low, for example), although our grade boundaries are different (80% for equivalent of an A. Above 90s are rare in undergrad).

In the end, we re-graduate with our main degree (for me, Bachelor of Political Science), but with Honours this time (I deferred my actual ceremony because having two doesn’t make sense when I already have a second degree to finish).

Anyways, so that’s what I’ll be doing this year. Lots of reading, researching, assignments, and lots of other stuff happening in my life too. Hopefully this can explain what the little Honours brackets in my bio means.

Feel free to drop any questions :))) Wishing you all a (belated) happy new year.

[saucerfulofsins]

phd student here (just advanced to candidacy): i honestly feel like academia is meant to break us. my first advisor bullied me into almost committing suicide, and it's been ROUGH... but that said? i think you finishing your degree in spite of everything matters so fucking much. both on a grand scale (academia needs more people from "untraditional" educational and life experiences) and a minor scale (proving something to yourself and to the people around you who've played a part in breaking you). i believe in you because i believe in me. fighting is hard, but sometimes things turn a corner when you least expect it—networking at a conference i didn't even want to go to accidentally solved a big gap in my advising situation.

sending all the best vibes in your direction. you are smart, capable, and will end up in the right place eventually. academia destroys souls, and you're not alone. ❤️

Hey ❤️❤️

I like seeing it from that side. Maybe not doing it AS well as I could have if I'd have the circumstances other ppl write theirs in (I started mine first with a rejection of my initial topic,then switching to a topic I had taken NO courses or associated courses on, and all of this while I had the very real concerns I might have cervical cancer as a trans man... the day I found out I didn't was the day I found out my supervisor would be leaving, leaving me with about 10 weeks to write a MA thesis which obvs didn't happen and then shit REALLY hit the fan). I wouldn't consider anyone else's grade under my circumstances a true reflection of what they're worth, either. I should add that my MA program is a research master, preparing you for academia and after which you'd move on to a 3-4 yr PhD program in my country. If your grades and project are good enough, of course. Mine? Aren't.

I applied to some PhD programs last yr but only major/big name unis and I think that might have been a mistake too. I had an interview and everyone there sounded so smart, had so much background, and I'm from the countryside with parents that barely finished their high schools (with levels that wouldn't get anyone into uni).

But yeah. You're right. In the end this is one grade, and it's a passing grade, and I... I mean I won't get into a big name uni with this rn and I don't think I wanna pursue a PhD rn anyway just because of all the pain but also the backlog I have compared to everyone else there. I just really wanna figure out a way to stay involved in academia without ending up in this locked down situation where, as you say, there's an attempt to break down everyone that doesn't fit the way the established order thinks we should.

It's just super difficult to keep believing in yourself when you're turned down and turned away at every junction in your life. After so many years (I'm 31 now) it's just. There's a point where it feels too much. At the same time I took an entrance exam to uni at 21 which I failed, and which I took to be a sign I shouldn't pursue uni at all. Clearly I was wrong there. I just.

I just wish there were more ways of learning than just the one specific kind universities (and high schools for that matter) dictate rn.

I also wish you the best of luck in your own degree, now and in the future! I know a PhD is another step up from a MA and I cannot imagine how rough it must've been for you especially with your first advisor. You don't deserve that (and lbr no one does). If you ever want a listening ear abt what you're working on, even if it's something I know nothing about, feel free to contact me!

[lifesfeelings]

Ph.D.

So, since I've gotten to my masters program, I've started to feel less and less inclined to pursue my Ph.D. It's not that I'm not interested in the field anymore (I'm actually still pretty damn passionate for my studies!), but all my professors have such a grim outlook on the field and on what it means to work in higher education, and so I think some of their disillusionment has rubbed off on me. But, I just had a meeting to go over a proposal for a project with the director of my program (also a professor for one of my classes), and I think I just feel that re-ignition totally take place! I'm just like ecstatic at the thought that this could all be real! We were talking about my proposal, and I had been working with a second year when I was writing it. She was telling me what I should leave out and what was beyond my scope, and she was telling me like "ahh, you might save that somewhere because that's out of the realm for this project, but this might translate to a really awesome thesis!" and so I was telling my professor about that thought. He basically took it and was like "Ah, that would be really freaking awesome. I also can think of some really awesome grants that I want you to apply to as you finish this project. I also want to encourage you to apply for travel grants through our department and through organizations like CCCC to fund traveling for conferences." He went on to say like, "You've impressed me so much with your ability of synthesis and how you inherently write really powerful literature reviews." And he was basically telling me that they usually have a sense for which students will get their masters and leave academia and which are geared to and primed for academia and stepping into their Ph.D. and that he's been excited to work with me on getting ready for what's next! He definitely was gassing me up a bit, but it was just SO motivational and inspiring to hear the director of my program telling me directly that he has hopes for my future in academia and that he genuinely sees some of my abilities as being conducive and capable to going beyond what I have been! I just feel like I'm starting to see the path again, and I am ecstatic to really start thinking about my thesis and conferences and building webs within English departments across the states! It's getting real and exciting again!

11.09.2023

[papiliomemnon]

Dear Reader,

I sit in front of a mountain and I am 3500 km away from where I am writing from. Taking up space and taking up a place within the city has been an existential nightmare. How do you learn when you are actively gentrifying the city with your mere presence? How can you scathe colonial power and the rapid gentrification of the neighborhood when you yourself are gentrifying? I am gentrifier. There is no way that a building with painted versions of italian architects which was most likely created as money laundering can be called anything but a gentrifying affront to the neighborhood. The artists have deeply ingrained themselves into the contrite of bushwick, right below ridgewood, right of the J line. These artists and people work in concrete and brick, deeply ingrained themselves within the cement they work. However, even the art is gentrified, the white man sits on top of the concrete painting their portraits of celebrity figures selling them as nfts. I myself am a sad gentrifier with the white man mullet mustache and tattoos. I feel a deep pressure to work through the tapes I have collected from the conversations I have gotten, some in passing and some which required a park bench to properly process. I feel like I need to delve into the information headfirst, working my fingers until the bone exposes. How come I go into the city with the express intent of attempting to gain a further understanding of what exactly is happening only to leave with a deep sorrow and feeling of guilt? I just need a second. I feel so close to the finish line and every second feels wasted. I need some time to process and sit. I need my time to babble through my shit. I need to shit through my babble. There is merit to that, dear reader. Loco que duerme sobrevive terremoto. Sitting in washington square and discussing the issues with the Nyu kids was a gut punch. I had fallen into the comfort of academia. Fuck you, you bewitching siren. I am torn in between these two models, my finished thesis which will allow me to graduate and the active knowledge process that is needed in order to make something interesting and new. Am I other? Am I the one to separate? I need to babble my shit. I need my time to process and I need to sit in front of a camera with a glass of wine and take my talk and walk my walk and maybe that'll help. I am scared of change dear reader. Scared of having to shift my books and my story and the main ideas I was attempting to work. This is why I need to rest and sit, dear reader. I need to sit through my conversations and go through my tapes. I need to wallow in my tapes. I need to germinate and form into something new. I need to burn the film and make something new of it. So here is my proposal dear reader. Gimme some time, as the deadline fast approaches, to let the themes from within my brain. Let me become something new and wild. Let me other.

[damnfae]

˚✧₊⁎ their reaction to your aesthetic / outfit ˚✧₊⁎

chaotic academia

no gender specified, clothes are genderless.

featured creators: dream, sapnap and wilbur

this was requested by @corpiet ! i hope you enjoy. i put a song i thought would go nicely with the outfits

dream:

- he really likes how put together your outfits look but he knows you’re still pretty chaotic

- as you were about to leave for class you spilled coffee on your creme colored shirt, you panic, it also dripped onto the essay you had just printed for class. clay heard the cup drop so he walked in looking at your panicked expression.

- “clay! i just messed up so bad this paper is due today and-” you ramble, being a student wasn’t easy.

- you felt his hand rub your back after picking up the papers covered in coffee. “just relax y/n, go change your shirt i’ll print your essay again and i’ll drive you instead.” he smiled for reassurance.

- you froze for a moment and tilted your head, sometimes you wondered how he was always so put together.

- clay supports you in everything you do, suddenly you wanna drop out? that’s cool with him. as long as you’re happy he’s happy

- when you have finals coming up he helps you practice for them

- he puts his full attention into your interests!

- he isn’t a super fashionable guy but appreciates your fashion :)

sapnap:

- he’s the type to whistle at you as you walk into the room, also takes note of something different or new you have on

- probably bribes you to do your homework

- you sat on the gaming chair you had next to his “but nick i don’t feeeeel like it” you dramatically leaned back in the chair.

- he smiled and looked over at you, he was about to give in but he didn’t this time. “your whining won’t work on me, if you finish your thesis i’ll take you out to eat”.

- the smile on his face didn’t fall as you groaned deciding it was best to just go finish your work.

- when you put on a movie for him sometimes he just doesn’t get it

- “but y/n i don’t understand, how do you know what’s gonna happen? you’ve never seen this movie!”

- you turn to him in the comfortability of a blanket and some pillows “i read the book”

- he chuckled a bit “of course you did”

- you’re his little nerd <3

- he calls you silly nicknames in a nice way!

Wilbur:

- this aesthetic reminds me of him, you both are super alike

- wilbur puts his glasses on you and calls you his ‘mini me’

- he loves watching movies with you, he even debates if you both have different opinions

- “y/n i don’t see why so many women have been with scott pilgrim he’s not that attractive” you turned your head to look at him seriously.

- “michael cera is attractive!” you said looking up at your tall boyfriend, wilbur smiled and shrugged a bit.

- “would you choose me over michael cera?”

- “anytime” you smiled, putting your face in his chest for a hug.

- he knows all the best local cafe’s with amazing coffee and beautiful ambiance

- when he first saw you you were cramming down notes from a slideshow at a cafe, focused on the big midterm you had in a few hours

- if you’re upset and just can’t understand what you’re learning he sits with you and tries to help the best he can

- “just breathe y/n don’t fuss, i don’t mind explaining it over again”

[tact-and-impulse]

Operating a day behind, but putting the ‘dark’ in ‘dark academia’ for this one, @shepherds-of-haven

pact

It must be in the wrong place, she decides, upon finding the volume in the middle of the chemistry section. This book is slimmer than everything else in this part of the stacks, and she inspects the dull burgundy cover for a title. There isn’t one, only an old-fashioned lock that’s coated in rust and rendered obsolete as she opens to the first page.

Her vision is immediately filled with blood-red script. Latin, but the structure is arranged unusually. A code of some sort? And once she realizes that, she can’t stop herself. She’s hit a block anyway, it would be a good diversion. Before long, she’s strolled back to the desk she’s claimed, setting aside her polymer models, fresh off the 3D printer. It’s already late, and the blessed silence allows her to concentrate. She hasn’t touched Latin since her undergrad studies, and she’ll have to find a dictionary to translate some of the vocabulary. From what she can tell, the book seems to be a religious text, for a rite of some kind...

A sting on her index finger, and she reflexively draws her hand away. It’s been a while since she’s had a paper cut, and she’s dripping on the last sentence, mixing with the ink. The book slips from her grasp, as she tries to stem the bleeding, but she never hears it land. Instead, there are the sounds of crackling flame, tearing parchment, and a deep inhale.

The book has disappeared, and in its place is a man, if she can call him that. His hair is the same color as the ink, his eyes glowing yellow. He’s barely wearing anything other than a cloth drape for his modesty and metallic chains wrapping over his skin. His hands are bound in front of him, crossed at the wrists. When his lips part in a sneer, his canines are sharpened to fine points. “What do you want?”

She blinks. “Ah. I must have fallen asleep.” For good measure, she squeezes her finger and the pain tells her otherwise.

“I can assure you, you are not dreaming.”

“So...are you a demon?” It’s the only other explanation she can think of, not that it’s supposed to be possible at all. She’s a chemical engineer; the occult is reserved for the cable TV shows she’s seen advertisements for.

“Correct.” He looms over her, the chains jingling.

“And I released you, apparently.” She tilts her head. “Do you have a name?”

“Croelle. Now then, what do you desire?” This close, he’s radiating warmth, like a space heater.

“For starters, help me with my thesis.”

His flawless features show a hint of confusion. “...Your what?”

“It’s a project I need to finish next week. I’m having a hard time with it. Aren’t you a powerful demon?”

He also doesn’t like loaded questions, because he regards her with scorn. “I have been locked in that book for centuries.”

Clicking her tongue, she turns back to her polymer models. “Then, do whatever you want. Perhaps, you’ll catch up on the current time period before I figure out what I’m doing.” She examines the plastic constructs, but she doesn’t hear him leave. She spares a peripheral glance and he’s still standing there, with a grimace.

“I cannot. I have yet to recover my strength.”

“Do you need more blood?” Her minor wound’s already clotted though.

He scoffs. “Blood was the mechanism to seal me, but it is not how I draw my power. I am an incubus.”

“Oh, so you need sex.” She bluntly says, and his expression wavers in surprise. “You are very attractive, but I’ve wasted enough time on you already and to be frank, stress has killed my libido as of late. I’m sure there are plenty of individuals who can help you. It’s winter now, but with those chains, you look like you appeal to a certain demographic. You won’t have any trouble propositioning anyone.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re a curious scholar.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Croelle.”

“But you have not accounted for one thing. Your own blood undid the seal, so if I attempt to leave your proximity...” He takes a few steps, but he can only manage to the end of the aisle, before a severe headache pounds the inside of her head. It seems to have a similar effect, as he walks back, his voice a growl. “Like it or not, we are bound to each other.”

“For how long?” She demands.

“Until I recover.”

“When I thought the book was a puzzle, I didn’t anticipate this. Alright, let’s try something.” She pulls one of the chains, and the rest of him follows. 

His yellow eyes narrow. “What are you doing?”

“Doing what I love. Testing a hypothesis.” She presses her mouth to his, which is softer than she expected. It only takes a second for him to begin reciprocating, and an unknown number for her to remember to breathe. Abruptly, she breaks it off, heartbeat in her throat. “Is that enough?”

He runs his tongue over his canines, savoring what he can taste. “A first kiss? You are curious.” Then, he moves his hands, which are now free. One chain unlocked, many more to go.

“You’re welcome.” Her lips feel swollen, and she resists the urge to touch them. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better. In fact, I would like to offer an exchange.” He taps her forehead, and it’s like she downed five espresso shots. She’s awake, alert, and...she can see the reaction in her mind. Her hands desperately find her pen and paper, as she scribbles it all down. As the high fades, she stares at her handwriting. It makes sense. She knows where to go from here.

When she finally reaches a pause and rests her cramping hand, she muses. “So, if I keep kissing you, you’ll recover your power. I can work with that.”

“Agreed. However, in return, when you are finished with this project,” He grabs her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I get to have you.”

A thrill shoots through her. Oh, so her libido isn’t totally dead. She swallows. “Only if I graduate, or else, this will have been for nothing.”

“Then, do we have a deal?”

“Yes.” And she intends to be confident, but at his wide grin, she wonders whether this is fair.

[boardwalk-absurdist]

im new to your blog, but i saw your reblog about dropping out of your phd for microbiology. and i'm going down the same path for academia in a different field, and i just wanted to know what you did for a job after you dropped out if thats alright

Hi, welcome~! So basically when I left, I left at the 2 year mark so I was able to write a thesis and leave with a masters degree (instead of passing prelim to become an official doctoral candidate). My plan from there was to become licensed to teach in the state I moved to by entering a combination licensure and secondary education masters program so I could become a high school biology teacher. I chose teaching because I realized that the most fulfilling part of my program was being a TA in intro biology. I really love teaching and talking about biology, and I find that moment when a problem topic finally clicks for someone to be super rewarding. That being said, I finished my microbio masters in December 2019 and moved to try to start the new grad program in February of 2020 so uh that obviously did not go as planned.

Anyway now I’m still pursuing licensure in my state but I’m not actively taking classes cuz my particular Brain Rot (ADHD and a nice blend of CPTSD-induced depression and anxiety) does not mesh well with asynchronous classes or part time schooling. So I’m working as a tutor at a learning center and also working at Starbucks so I can pay my rent and working on getting my foot in the door as a substitute teacher in local school districts.

[allforyoumylovely]

Hi Emma, do you read books? Do you have any recommendations? What are your favorite books or just books that made you feel?

Hii 💗 sorry for taking ages to reply! Yes, I read a lot of books, it’s one of my favourite pastimes. I’m a big writing-over-plot person and I’ll basically read anything if it has good writing (except fantasy tho i just can't do it).

So, some of my favourites:

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara – has every trigger warning under the sun and is heartbreak in book form, but the writing is devastatingly stunning, and the broken characters really get under your skin. Sobbed myself to sleep after finishing it.

Anything by Sally Rooney – I feel like she just gets life to the core and fully understands the complexities of being a human being. I recently read and really enjoyed Conversations with Friends, and I love her wit and her poignant writing style. And I’d highly recommend the tv adaptation of Normal People.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey Mcquiston – just a really easy, fluffy read. It basically felt like a very well-written fic and it gave me all the butterflies 💕

When Death Takes Something from You Give It Back: Carl's Book by Naja Marie Aidt – the book I did my thesis on last year. In 2015 the Danish/Greenlandic author loses her 25-year-old son Carl in a tragic accident and with him her ability to write. She ploughs through all the bereavement literature she can find, letting it speak for her when she can’t. Her writing is fragmented, furious, and painful, just like her grief. But also very beautiful and poetic. A few tears might have slipped into my keyboard while typing in quotes.

I’m currently about halfway through The Secret History by Donna Tartt and there’s just something about her books - the lingering on details, her characters, the brilliant execution – that leaves me in awe. So far, I think this one might be my favourite. It has murder, dark academia vibes, elitist outsiders who form a Greek cult – what more could you want?

And now that we’re at it, I’ll let you know a few of the books on my tbr list as well <3

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell - I literally just got this today and only really know it by title, but it’s supposedly dark and has good writing, so I’m in.

The All for the Game series by Nora Sakavic – read the first book this summer but was put off by the overflow of characters, the very action-driven writing, and how every sentence has the same subject + predicator beginning. I had to drag myself through it, basically. But I’ve been told the story picks up in the next books, and all the fanart makes me really curious about it, so I'll have to pull myself together and put my writing snobbery aside for just a little while lolol 🙃

Thank you for your ask, anon! Hope your day is lovely 🧡✨

[professorchatwin]

Ryder dragged a hand across his face, “this. This is ridiculous. I’m trying to get a law degree not a history degree”. He lay his head on the keyboard. “I want that A damn it”

Taylor raised an eyebrow and slid a plate of cookies across the table, “a little early to be rage quitting. Some of us like that history you know”

Sighing heavily, Ryder ponderously took a cookie, “I like the history but going into this much depth is just beating a dead horse”

“This might be hard to hear but the horses being dead is part of what makes it history” Taylor smirked. “Maybe one day you’ll get a case and you’ll need Coates V Cincinnati” 

“Hmmm… refresh my memory”

“Being irritating in public is protected under the first amendment”

Ryder chewed that over with another cookie, “That’s a shame. It’s probably a good thing but for me but not thee right?”. He slumped forward, adjusting his shirt. The rigors of law school hadn’t left much time for working out and it was starting to take it’s toll on his waistline. Ryder had consoled himself with half assed promises of going back to his volleyball workout routine but the more McDonalds he had, the less likely it seemed. 

“Do you maybe want to take a break and get some real food? I love your cookies but I should probably eat something with actual nutrient value” he mused, “But I should also study”

Taylor grinned, “Sure, let me just finish grading this paper. Grab your flashcards. I’ll quiz you while we wait for the food”

---

Ryder fastened his wrist watch, grimacing. At least his watch still fit. He pinched his waistline, a little doughy but, he reasoned, hardly all that fat. Of course not. He’d just gotten used to being athletic is all. Still, there his medium t shirt sat, resolutely refusing to pull down any lower than his belly button. His pants weren’t in much better shape, the button puckering tightly just below a modest muffin top.

Taylor knocked on the doorframe, “dryer got you good huh?”

“Huh?”

“Your shirt. If you put the dryer on too high it turns them into doll clothes. Need to borrow an undershirt?”

Ryder rubbed his chin, “Yeah hun, that’d be great”

Taylor nodded and came back holding a shirt that, unknown to Ryder, was actually a large with the tag cut off. And he slipped into it, too relieved at the looseness of the fabric to question it. He hugged Taylor around the neck, “Thanks babe, I owe you one”

He got a kiss on the cheek for his efforts, “Don’t worry about it. Now go get lunch before your class starts or you’re not going to be able to focus”

---

“I’m so full” Ryder moaned. “I need to *hic* go to the gym *hiccup* immediately” 

Taylor, just setting groceries on the kitchen counter popped his head around the wall. The sight that greeted him was a certain law student surrounded by the wreckage of a prematurely opened bag of Halloween candy, clutching his stomach and whining. He bit his lip. Over the past month that little bit of chub had swollen into a plump pot belly. The large t-shirt clung perfectly to every soft curve. He walked over and kissed Ryder’s forehead, “Was there a point here or…?”

“I was g-*hic!*going to cond-*hic*-dition myself into *hiccup* liking case history…” he huffed. Taylor laughed, then helped him over to the couch, making very sure to steady his boyfriend’s tummy. Once there he had Ryder lay down with his head in his lap. Still hiccuping Ryder protested that he still needed to study but Taylor kissed him and told him that he’d be doing no such thing.

“What you need is a break”

“What I need is to pass my classes”

“And you will but not by killing yourself with stress. You need to lay down for a bit. Let your tummy settle. I’m going to work on my thesis paper a bit and then I’m going to make dinner which you will be having because,” he patted Ryder’s belly idly, “you need to eat something more substantial than chocolate. You can come back to your studying after dinner. Deal?”

Ryder groaned, “Fine. But only because I can’t move. And as of tomorrow I’m renewing my gym membership”

Taylor let his hand settle just on the lower curve of Ryder’s tummy, “Hear me out. You’re already stressed. Do you really want to carve out even more time to go to the gym?”

He contemplated it for a moment, “No. You’ll have to be okay with me getting chubby in the meantime though. You’re working on a PhD why aren’t you this stressed”

“Well,” Taylor mused, “My degree takes longer, I don’t generally have to argue with people on a daily basis, and I surrendered my soul to academia during my masters for a sense of perennial calm”

“You’re an ass”

“You know you like it”

---

“Really hun, what are you embarrassed about?” Taylor soothed, “you look cute”. He kissed Ryder’s neck, willing him to take a deep breath. The full length mirror stared back at them and in it Ryder pouted, hyperfocused on the gapping hole left by his errant shirt button and the slacks that wouldn’t even go up his thighs. “Why didn’t you tell me I was getting this big?”

“Why is it a problem?”

“Because I’m wearing a double XL and it doesn't fit” he said exasperated, “And my slacks won’t go over my ass, none of my belts fit, and… and… mhmm...that- that’s very distracting. Mhm! Taylor!” he swatted at his partner, “okay it’s not all bad”  

Taylor looked up from kissing Ryder’s neck, both of his hands cupping the plump, heavy potbelly that had taken over where Ryder’s hip bone’s used to reside. “Not all bad? Sure I can’t make it feel good?”

“You’re incorrigible”

Taylor kissed him with a grin, “I know”

---

Once again, Ryder was at his desk desperately pouring over textbooks and old court records. Taylor watched out of the corner of his eye from where he was grading papers. In the span of the last month or so his boyfriend had started stress eating without end and it had made it’s presence known. Even as Ryder chipped away at the plate of brownies Taylor could see how soft he’d gotten. His arms stretched the sleeves of his button up, his chest had softened, he’d let his beard grow to conceal the budding double chin.

He was in the middle of admiring the transformation when Ryder suddenly looked up with a certain look on his face.

“Babe”

“Hm?”

“I’m stuck”

Taylor raised an eyebrow, “you’re what?”

Ryder blushed furiously, “I’m stuck”

Ryder demonstrated his point by trying to get out of his office chair. The arms pinched his sides, hips spilling just over the sides of the seat. Every struggle caused his belly to bounce and jiggle leaving Taylor mesmerized. From this angle he could see how tight the buttons of Ryder’s vest were, how stressed the seams of his pants. 

“Well, I- fuck that’s hot” he hummed.

Ryder rolled his eyes, “Nothing I can do about that if I’m stuck” he pointed out. 

Taylor grinned. He walked over and started unbuttoning. Ryder met him halfway from the top and managed to get the clothing off just as Taylor blew a raspberry on his belly. The soft chub jiggled all the way down his thighs and up his chest. Ryder gasped, “Oh, oh not fair”

“Mhmmm I could do something about it while you’re stuck you know”

“Don’t be a tease”

Taylor just laughed and kissed him, “I’ll be right back. Hang on”

“Ah, yeah. Because I’m going somewhere” Ryder said wryly.

When he came back he was holding a tub of crisco with a big grin on your face. Ryder blushed harder, “I swear if you call that bacon grease…”

“Actually I was going to call you a butterball but bacon grease works too”

The second the lid was off Ryder’s stomach growled. Taylor did his best to distract Ryder from his predicament while he worked, kissing every inch of exposed skin while he rubbed the grease into his sides. By the time he was done Ryder was red, flustered, and slick. He only just managed to slip free and stumbled straight into Taylor’s arms. He kissed him hard, “What’d I say about being a tease?”

Taylor kissed him back, “I’m not teasing. Come on. Let’s get you showered and out to dinner. I’ll show you just how not teasing I am”

---

“Did you say buffet?” Ryder raised an eyebrow. “Babe, this shirt barely fits as it is”

“What? They have that chocolate cake that you like”  Taylor kissed his cheek, handing him his watch. 

Ryder pulled him back and pressed Taylor’s hands to his belly, “I like that, actually” he purred. Abruptly he pursed his lips, letting a sigh of irritation leave him. 

“What’s the matter?”

“I need a new wristband” he huffed. Taylor kissed his neck and gestured for him to hang on a minute. He pulled a small box out of the dresser drawer.

“Was going to wait until you passed this year’s classes but as I know you will it can’t hurt to give you this a little early”

Ryder opened the box, “Aw, babe I love it” he kissed Taylor, “thank you” he said sliding the watch on and fastening it. He bit his lip and raised an eyebrow, “It’s got a lot of growing room”

Taylor grinned, hands on Ryder’s hips, “So it does”

[sapphicwomanwithnopatience]

dark academia in science

-late nights at libraries studying the whispers from dead intellects

-coffee cooling as you flip through the 8th page of alchemy notes

-exhaustion in your eyes as morning dawns again, creaks in your bones as you realize its been another night absorbed in anatomy

-skeleton models grinning at you from the front of the dark hall

-formal wear for your thesis presentation on the newest discovery

-thick, brown toned layered clothes to prevent laboratory accidents

-the third moleskin of the term to plan out all of your research in rushed scribbles

-rushing to class in the pouring rain, trying not to wet your borrowed texts from your professors because you tried to make tea

-cross hatch sketches of molecules and polymer chains on the borders of notebooks

-the feeling of legacy as you walk through halls that taught the great scientists of the centuries

-debates are 2 am over whether a scientist’s personal journal indicates their homoerotic tendencies or not

-cafe sessions before finals in turtlenecks and blazers to pretend you aren’t falling apart

-4 am classical music on low volume as you reorganize your notes once you finish studying

-the accomplishment of completing your experiment to perfection as you leave the gilded halls of the physics department

[superlinguo]

Linguistics Jobs: Interview with a Product Manager

A lot of tech people I know say “the best skill a programmer can have is knowing how to look up the right answer on Stack Exchange” It’s one of those websites that people use every day, but perhaps without thinking about how it gets built. Megan Risdal is one of the people who make Stack Overflow happen, as a Product Manager leading Public Q&A. As Megan mentions below, there’s even a Linguistics Stack Exchange (you might just see some old answers from me there). Megan has not only forged a career for herself in tech, she helps demystify the industry for other linguists who might follow in her footsteps, on Twitter (@MeganRisdal) and her blog.

What did you study at university?

My undergraduate degree is in Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire where my interests were in individual differences. I also did a minor in French and this is where I first learned about linguistics as a field of study. My combined interests in language and individual differences psychology led me to completing a senior thesis project on variation in attitudes towards linguistic diversity. Just last year this work was published with my then advisor, Dr. Erica Benson, as a chapter in Language Regard: Methods, Variation, and Change.

From here, I did a Master's degree in Sociolinguistics at North Carolina State University. Building on my statistics background from studying psychology, I dove deeper into quantitative methods, learning R along the way, while focusing on sociophonetics and laboratory phonology. For my capstone project, I measured articulatory (ultrasound tongue imaging), aerodynamic, (nasal/oral airflow), and acoustic variation in coarticulatory vowel nasalization strategies among Anglo-American and African American (Vernacular) English speakers.

Finally, I started a PhD at UCLA where I intended to continue studying laboratory phonology. I only ended up finishing one year which was spent on theoretical foundations, articulatory phonetics, and learnability before leaving with a second Master's degree in Linguistics. I ended up deciding to leave academia because I was disillusioned already with the prospect of the job market and the limited potential for my work to have impact beyond academia. I made my mind up when I applied for a job at Google and got an interview. I ultimately failed, but this was enough for me to feel confident my resume was "good enough" (completely incidentally I ended up later getting hired and working at Google for a couple of years prior to my current role).

What is your job?

For the past six months I've been working as a Product Manager at Stack Overflow where I lead the team working on public Q&A. If you're not familiar with Stack Overflow, it's a site where anyone who codes can come to find answers to their programming questions. We also have the Stack Exchange network which has similar Q&A sites for other topics like cooking and anime. There's even a Linguistics Stack Exchange site.

In my day-to-day, as a product manager, I work closely with our developers, designers, researchers, data scientists, community managers, marketing, and leadership. So, it's a lot of meetings and a lot of Google Docs. My job entails taking many, many inputs and synthesizing them into a strategy and product roadmap that the team executes on to make Stack Overflow a more useful, engaging place for all developers. On a given day, you could catch me writing a new feature specification for a developer, reviewing results of an experiment with our data scientists, or dropping in on user interviews. One of the things I love the most about my job is the variety. If a project is slipping or we just don't have the resources for something important, I'm the person who can step in and do what it takes to make sure the work of my collaborators adds up to something successful.

How does your linguistics training help you in your job?

My training in linguistics absolutely helps me.

First, and most importantly I believe, my background in sociolinguistics has taught me the significance of diversity among groups of people (like users of a product) in so many ways. For example, Stack Overflow sees many millions of users every month, but we know that not everyone is equally likely to participate on the site. There are huge, intimidating barriers to participation which disproportionately impact different groups of people depending on things like their background and experience coding. So every day I think about how changes to the product will affect different types of users. Me and my team are constantly striving to better understand the important ways our users vary in their backgrounds, motivations, and pain points and how we can better meet their needs. Especially in a globally diverse online community like ours where users interact and community with each other it's extremely important for me and my colleagues to think about always.

Second, and more concretely, the quantitative methods and experimental best practices I acquired while studying linguistics are highly applicable to my day-to-day job. We make use of a lot of different qualitative and quantitative research methods at Stack Overflow and having training in this area allows me to leverage these resources effectively in my product decision-making. Before I joined Stack Overflow, I had also spent some time as a data scientist, so my background in statistics and R was extremely relevant there. Without this training, I don't think I would be where I am today.

Do you have any advice do you wish someone had given to you about linguistics/careers/university?

Overall, I'm very happy with my trajectory. I'm extremely grateful to everyone who supported me at every stage and I would not be where I am today without all of these experience (yes including dropping out of a PhD!). That said, some thing that I wish I had encountered sooner are:

Seriously, build a public portfolio. Make your work visible. Curate an online presence. Having even a just a modest Twitter following and some publicly discoverable content with my name on it has helped me immeasurably in my career. Oh, and learn git.

Pay some attention to what's going on outside of your academic bubble. I fully intended to stay in academia when I started my PhD at UCLA. Had I thought somewhat ahead of time about the possibility that I would end up industry, I may have prioritized different classes or perhaps even chosen a different PhD program altogether. For example, if you have a choice between learning OCaml and Python, maybe see what non-academia has to say, too, as an input to your decision. Then again, hindsight is 2020. I would have seriously regretted not taking statistics/research methods under any circumstances, though.

Any other thoughts or comments?

I think every tech company should look to hire people trained in linguistics. There are so, so many ways in which a background in linguistics is relevant to so many careers in tech. From user research to data science to (apparently) product management, a background in linguistics adds a unique and valuable perspective. If you're not sure what you're qualified for, carefully tailor your experience, cast your net wide, and seek out advice!

More from Megan

Twitter @MeganRisdal

LinkedIn 

Personal blog

Recently:

Interview with a Communications Specialist

Interview with a Learning Scientist

Interview with a Lexicographer

Interview with a Journalist

Interview with a PR Consultant

Check out the Linguist Jobs Master List and the Linguist Jobs tag for even more interviews