#first all that discussion about louis' masculinity

[lets-laughagain]

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[desertfangs]

Daniel for the 'send me a character' thing

Send me a character and I'll do the thing!

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s definitely on the bi side of the scale, but I think he skews a lot closer to gay and probably identifies more as gay, especially in the 70s in the circles that he and Armand traveled in. Although I don’t think Daniel has ever been particularly picky about labels applied to him in that sense, either.

Gender Headcanon: Daniel is the opposite of toxic masculinity. He can be masculine and he has body hair for days, but he’s generally soft-spoken and gentle. Cis, but not worried about being manly enough, you know? 

A ship I have with said character: Armand/Daniel is my OTP of all time. I think he and Armand are just two halves of a whole and they make each other better. I absolutely think they’re soulmates in the deepest sense of the word. There’s the joke that Daniel is sort of Armand-sexual but I think it’s sort of true. Armand is the love of his life and the feeling is mutual. 

And sometimes Daniel/Marius? Please don’t hurt me, but I go back and forth on whether I see him and Marius as romantic. The first time I read PL, it felt very platonic. Marius had spent a long time as Daniel’s caregiver and while they’re obviously close and connected, it didn’t read to me as anything romantic and the asexual in me longs for more platonic ships in this fandom. But I think the vampires can have a lot of intimacy without getting hot and heavy (this is true of humans too btw). I do think as a romantic ship, it's hot as hell and tbh I’ve written it both ways. I can enjoy it both ways! But in my personal fanonverse, it’s something I waiver on a lot. I do think they’re good together either way!

A BROTP I have with said character: Daniel and Lestat (it’s a BroTP with benefits, bonus points if it’s with Armand as an OT3). They just have a fun dynamic. They can get into trouble together and cause chaos, but they also sort of even each other out. Daniel allows Lestat to open up a little more than he usually does because he’s a good listener, non-judgemental, and adept at asking the right questions. Lestat allows Daniel to vent about Armand (in an affectionate way - we all need to get things off our chests!) and he appreciates Daniel’s sense of humor and wit. They both liking having fun and doing random shit.

A NOTP I have with said character: I don’t know that I have any real NOTPs with him. Maybe Santino? I don’t personally see him having any sort of romantic relationship with Louis, I see them as being friends who both have great love for Armand, but I’m not bothered by the idea either. 

A random headcanon: When Daniel was recovering from his madness, Armand sent him an iPod when he heard Daniel sometimes got overwhelmed by noise. Daniel became obsessed with the podcasts at the time, mostly radio shows, things like Radio Lab, This American Life, and Stuff You Should Know. After he moves back into Trinity Gate, he and Armand listen to his favorite episodes of these together and have long discussions about them afterward. 

General Opinion over said character: I think Daniel is neat. He’s affable, he’s friendly, he’s good at making conversation. He’s curious and up for almost anything, which is why he and Armand work so well. He’s funny and has a dark, sardonic sense of humor. He laughs easily, maybe too easily, but he’s pretty easy to get along with. He’s generally pretty agreeable but he isn’t afraid to speak up when necessary. He’s a cool dude. I dig him. 

[grendelsmilf]

when I was watching iwtv and lestat revealed his abusive personality I immediately thought of rgu and the comparisons that could be made between him and lestat and louis and claudia to anthy and utena, did you have anything rgu related thoughts while watching?

i feel like i'd be remiss discussing this without first pointing out that @dictee got me into both of these shows, and also succession (i mean w/ succession i had wanted to watch it for a while but the fandom annoyed me so much that i didn't know whether it was actually worth it, so i still would've never actually watched it w/out ziska being like "it's good i promise"). and one of our first ever conversations was about how much we both love king lear. idk if you're sensing a pattern yet but the nuclear family as a microcosmic site of patriarchal abuse that reflects the ordering of society at large is truly one of the themes of all time (as a side note all of you intersucctenalearview heads out there need to read palace walk by naguib mahfouz right now). so it's not so much that i'm inclined to draw 1:1 character parallels across these shows, but rather that i'm deeply interested in how these similar themes map across each, as well as locating the nuances where they differ (eg, the fact that iwtv focalizes race whereas succession focalizes class whereas rgu focalizes gender/sexuality w/in their respective explorations of interpersonal abuse and systemic exploitation) (and obviously race is also a factor in rgu and gender/sexuality is a major factor in iwtv, etc).

that said, i've definitely compared lestat and akio before in conversation. i mean, they even have similarities in how they embody their specific modes of masculinity, how they convince anthy and louis that they are needed and thus to find freedom is to abandon him is to wound him, etc etc. there are also of course marked differences: notably, akio is one of the only brown characters in the entire show, while lestat is in many ways defined by his whiteness. i could also see parallels between louis and anthy as figures who complicate the notion of victimhood and are in some ways complicit through their abuse of others (utena, claudia) as a way of enduring their own abuse. and in that sense, claudia can be mapped onto utena, even if their characters are very noticeably different in other ways. both shows also deal with obfuscation and the notion of a false narrative and unreliable narrators. a venn diagram delineating parallels versus points where they differ (the focalization of incest in rgu, for example) would probably be pretty interesting! of course, i'm not gonna do that, because i don't have time for that, but y'know. someone could.

[fluideli123]

The Depths Of Our Heart Have Blackened the Sun (WIP)

So, when OFMD first came out, I read a fanfic where Alma and Louis board Edward's ship and thought it was an amazing concept that I wanted to try and develop in multiple directions!

The Main Idea of the story:

Blackbeard comes across Alma and Louis by accident, in a strange change of events Blackbeard takes it upon himself to care for Stede’s children and get them back to their home land. On the venture there Edward learns about Stede through their eyes and Alma catches on to Edward’s pain in ways Blackbeard never expected. The crew watches as the children lighten up the ship and Edward’s suffering, even for just a little while. 

But I'm also going to dig much deeper into the concepts, explorations, and perceptions of characters. So, if you don't want to read that skip this part and read below the cut!

Character Dynamics:

Alma & Louis: Alma is quite an outstanding, headstrong, brave character who is the complete opposite of her timid, shy, caring brother. In this story, I wanted to dive into their childhood, how Alma and Louis become the siblings they are now, how they view each other, their family, and, most importantly, pirates. On top of this, I wanted to show the hobbies, interests, and special skills they possess, not only Stede's kids but Mary's too.

Alma, Louis & Edward: Most people know the intention of most fics is the dynamic between Stede's Broken Hearted Man:tm: and his kids, but I wanted to dive deeper than just the kids getting to know Edward and Edward getting to know the kids. In fact, I wanted to show Edward's past pirating rules through them, his childhood, what made him carefree and childish, and what made the kids strong, fearless, and so on. They are reflections of Stede just as they are of Mary and now everyone else on board. There is nothing like seeing the world through two different eyes when the world has been shattered to pieces.

Alma & Jim: Two stubborn hotheads who don't back down to care for those they love? The fact they mirror each other in many ways and possess aspects that cause hidden characteristics in the other to stand out? The SHEER CHAOS? HOW CAN I NOT EXPLORE ONE OF MY FAVORITE DYNAMICS EVER MAN?! Also, the inside jokes could rule all the seas man, all of them!

Louis & Izzy Hands: Now, this one may or may not take a lot of people by surprise, but I have never thought that this dynamic couldn't be seen through because it SO can. Externally they are complete opposites; izzy hands is selfish, immature, a dick, and the definition of toxic masculinity. Louis on the other hand is overly worried about others, observant, fragile, and just a young boy who hasn't been tainted by the world the same way izzy has been. There is so much under the surface however that make these two one of my favorite dynamic to explore in this concept.

It's been quite a while since I wrote this (since it's been a year AND WE STILL DON'T HAVE A SECOND SEASON) but my love for the characters and ideas still burn strong! So, if you ever want to send in asks concerning this story, go on ahead! I'm more than excited to discuss and answer questions in regards to it!

Thunder rumbled and roared from the harsh, heavy, hoary sky, flashes of lightning illuminating the intimidating clouds, leaving an electrical sensation in its wake with each strike across the sky and towards the sea. The ocean rolled dangerously in response, leaving The Revenge creaking and groaning as each wave repeatedly pounded against the ship's sides. Rain smacked down like bullets on its deck as its new crew tried to save the sails and masts from the merciless, chilled winds, changing course to sail at an angle, causing the waves to attack the strongest areas of the vessel. 

Throughout the chaos, a single silhouette stood, tied to the base of the mast, dagger dug within the tough Brazilian wood, holding onto the weapon with an iron grip. Long hair snaps with the wind as the kohl painting his face smears, dripping and trailing across his face in a newly deranged style, falling away with sharp breaths of air. Blackbeard stands clenching his teeth, staring forward with unnerving malice at the storm as Izzy continuously barks their Captain's orders over the booming culmination of noises on the main deck in front of him. 

It was satisfying and utterly irritating how the storm reflected Blackbeard's fervor. Numbingly cold, bone-rattling, and absolutely, catastrophically, furious.

The storm had snuck up on them, nearly causing the ship to take on water before Blackbeard appeared from his chambers to save this god-forsaken ship from sinking before Izzy could make his way into the Captain's quarters to screech at him for allowing them all to die. All because he was too busy locking himself away to use his 'excellent' sailor skills to predict this stupid fucking squall.

Blackbeard ran on rage and the downpour only fed into his quickly dwindling supply. He was angry, so fucking angry, and with every bolt of light that lit up the sky like an explosion, Blackbeard felt his chest take on every beating the world gave to fill the aching emptiness that settled there. 

He was a dangerous, heartless monster and the sea knew it. 

An exhausted voice in the back of his mind hoped the rope and dagger tying him to safety would snap so he wouldn't have to depend on this burning, heated, thrashing feeling any longer. The idea of drowning was almost pleasant; he would never stand a chance against the waves in this storm.

"Captain! I can't see the weak point!" Fang shouts from behind him, holding onto the steering wheel for dear life. Blackbeard's head snaps around, trying to peer through his hair for the calmest part of the storm they'd seen only moments ago. All he's met with is a roar of thunder and dark, inky water rolling towards them. 

"Fuck! There!" Jim responds, limbs intertwined within the netting at the bow, a hand barely able to keep their hat on as they point toward the ship's left, obscured by the mast Blackbeard had attached himself to. 

They start to turn towards the calm of the storm as swiftly as possible, tipping to the right at the sudden turn, the sea's tormenting only aiding its motion, though dangerously. 

Izzy slides with the last few objects that hadn't been consumed by the ocean, hitting the taffrail with a pained groan as he ties himself to the rails. Frenchie and Ivan had secured themselves on the Quarter Deck directly behind Fang. Frenchie practically hyperventilates himself to death as he trips, trying to stand on the soaked, tilting deck as Ivan tries to keep Fang from fucking up the steering so they don't flip over.

Blackbeard feels his wrist and muscles burn as he pulls himself toward the mast by his dagger against the wind and a tidbit of gravity. "Hold!" 

Fear and tension mix with the crackling of the skylight as Fang and Ivan groan and clamor to get hold of the situation as they start entering dangerous territory. Jim hides their face in their arms and hat, protecting their face from another fierce splash of water onto the forecastle deck. Izzy bellows at Ivan and Fang to get their asses in gear as Frenchie squeezes his eyes shut and screams bloody murder in nearly incomprehensible English about magic and sea witches. 

"Hold!" 

Izzy scurries away from the edge of the railing, Jim starts swearing in Spanish, and the panicked shouting from behind drowns together.

Blackbeard turns his gaze to the ocean they were slowly tilting away from, cold and remorseless, ready to engulf everyone on board with a single lashing wave. His hold on the dagger falters as he continues to stare, the whisper in the back of his head growing louder. The storm wouldn't make him feel irate forever; the anger would dip away; he couldn't chase those feelings locked deep down in his gut when they reached safety. 

A spine-chilling wind whistles against the vessel, a dark promise only solidified by the salty water sending another threatening spout that washes away half the kohl left on the right of Edward's face. Leaving him spitting the water that had made its way into his mouth, turning a sneer towards the murky waters.

Edward shifts his gaze towards the mast, to the only other scar in the wood, smaller than the one Edward's dagger would leave behind, yet not as deep. 

"Did I do it right? He missed all the important bits."

Edward rips his gaze away as lightning strikes. Waves swell as he clutches the dagger tight, quickly grasping the rope tied around his waist, breath hitching, ignoring the screaming of his arms at their use.

With a last knee-weakening rock, the ship rights itself as the waters soften and settle, the pitter-patter of rain turning into droplets, the wind no longer infused with electricity. They're in the calm of the storm. 

Relief floods through the air. 

They wouldn't die today. 

Blackbeard rips his dagger from the mast with three sharp, wrangling tugs, sheathing his weapon and looking towards the worst of the squall they had just escaped. Most of his kohl is gone, barely staining odd bits and parts of his skin, entirely doused in sea and sky water. 

The emptiness creeps around his heart like a familiar sickness as he watches his merciless death and surge of zeal pass. Hopelessness stings his eyes before he gently closes them. He clenches his jaw. 

No one would notice the warm tears that blend perfectly into the storm's residue like a disguise. 

He was so tired. So fucking tired. 

The cheers of ease from his crew are short-lived by a snarl from Izzy, followed by quick steps towards the first mate. 

When would this end?  

The sound of Izzy wincing in pain. Ivan shouts for someone to help him bring his first mate to the infirmary. Unsteady steps.

When would it fucking end? 

A door closes. 

The subtle clap of thunder and glint of lightning echo the throb of Edward Teach's heart as the overfamiliar deep-seated pain returns to coat the emptiness in a virulent shell casing. 

He silently wishes he let go instead. He wishes he could feel anything other than this.

The sea knew its Kraken well. But it also knew Edward Teach. 

The storm responds with a gust of icy wind, chilling his tears, whipping them away.

-

"We've spotted a small passenger vessel approaching, Captain. It seems to have been set off course by the storm we passed a few days ago." 

Blackbeard mindlessly watches his crew from the rails of the quarter-deck, holding his second bottle of brandy that morning as Izzy stands tall and attentive beside him despite his nasty bruised ribs and side. He was still healing, but he never outwardly showed any pain he might be experiencing, being idiotically stubborn about being bedridden as always. 

"Are we low on anything?"

"No, Captain."

"Board the ship, loot it for any valuables to trade-off once we reach land."

"Will you be joining us this time around?" 

Blackbeard downs his alcohol, marveling at the burn as he shifts to walk down the steps, shooting Izzy a threatening expression the moment the drink settles in his stomach. He doesn't answer his first mate's question.

A pair of eyes burn into the back of his head as he descends, the sensation leaving his stomach churning. He doesn't acknowledge any of it as his heavy steps send a warning everyone knows by heart, a familiar thrum. Don't bother the Captain unless absolutely necessary.

It was only a portion of the wordless tunes the crew had learned to listen for and follow, a dance everyone had to learn to survive Blackbeard's ever-shifting melody, his state of mind. The crew responded with distance and sure footsteps with every thundering bellow of his boots. A crescendo of broken glass bottles and furniture, the ostinato of their Captain's unbridled rage to be swiftly answered with shared looks, a sign to speak to the man only after an hour and a half of eerie silence. The Revenge was a stage, and the Captain's Chambers was the backroom. Whatever happened behind the curtains, no one dared to acknowledge past the cues and resounding echoes of whatever had turned the ship dim and mourning. 

However, whatever happened at night when everyone settled to sleep was a different world altogether. A time when the show didn't exist, and with each hushed conversation, the crew would utter a discussion formed on how to escape, to shut the performance down, and theories about what happened behind closed doors. 

The Revenge was a hell of a place to be for the three weeks following Edward's sudden change of heart, and it showed. 

The burning sensation of Izzy Hand's gaze as Blackbeard makes his way through the doors to the hallway eases. The moment Edward is free from prying eyes, he presses his back to the door, letting out a shaky sigh, trying to hold himself together with pins and needles. 

He gulps down the remaining brandy in his grasp to help dull the erratic, nauseating emotions clawing at his insides as he makes his way to his quarters. He sets the empty bottle down when he closes the door and reaches the desk in the middle of the room, grabbing for the others littering the window stools as he passes them. He pops the cork off and doesn't hesitate to take another swing as he all but carelessly throws himself across the length of the bed, eyes easily finding the lighthouse painting he couldn't toss away with the rest of Stede's things. 

His heart clenches painfully at the memories attached to its existence, from the plan to become a lighthouse to fool the Spanish to the late heart-felt, soul-wrenching breakdowns Edward has experienced more than once following Stede's absence. The ones that left him conversing with the lighthouse as if it was the only company he'd ever had. The only thing that has seen and heard everything Edward has ever uttered in this room. Aware of the depths in which the pain rooted itself into his being. The only object that would listen without him needing to fear the possibility of being pitied or hated.

Edward Teach may not know who he is without the Kraken, Blackbeard, or Ed, but if anything were to grasp an idea of who that person would be, it would be that stupid fucking painting. He's laid himself bare and shielded himself in front of it more times than he can count. 

Would it be silly if he'd somehow become attached to the one thing that embodied everything that boils his blood, tortures his heart, and frees him all at once? 

The Kraken would say that attachment led to heartbreak, the one thing he desperately wanted to escape from. So why would he stoop so low as to keep this useless object around? It wasn't anything to him. It wouldn't fuel his path of destruction or aid him in his quest to show the world how monstrous he truly was. It wouldn't make those around him tremble at his mere name or make the blood staining his hands taste any sweeter.

Blackbeard would say that he didn't deserve the reminders, that warm longing that slithered its way between his ribs at the thought of the Gentleman Pirate's shenanigans, the odd way he did things. The way his eyes widened, looking at Blackbeard with the kind of awe that festered without fear, unlike anything he's ever encountered before. The way the Gentleman Pirate's words were the only weapon that cut people down ten sizes and set fires. 

And Ed? Ed would say nothing else mattered when Stede's kind smiles shone brighter than the sun. When his tongue dripped of golden honey and white clovers with every sickeningly sweet phrase, he'd utter about the places within Ed that no one else bothered to set tender eyes upon. If he could keep Stede's soft, caring, and clumsy fingers caressing his heart to settle the most vulnerable parts of him securely in his palms, then there would be nothing to think through for the rest of his life.

Edward guessed the question didn't matter in the end, he was torn apart from the very seams in three separate directions, and not one of them could give him the answers he yearned for. 

He takes a sip from his drink, eyes never leaving the lighthouse. 

"I hate you," Edward whispers. "But I hate you less than him. Consider that the closest thing you'll ever get to a compliment from me." 

The image leans back and forth with the rock of the waves. 

The man looks out the window, barely acknowledging the glint of the sun's rays across the ocean's surface. "I do hate him, right?" 

The picture's silence is all he needs. 

Edward downs the rest of the bottle.

-

Blank

-

The muffled sound of terror-stricken screams fills the pauses between each boom of the canons and faint splashes of bodies hitting the water. The raid had been going on for a while now, long enough to leave Edward's inebriated mind to wander through memory lane like it wasn't one of the worst parts of his mind to stroll through. 

He'd already done the usual emotion-infused ramble towards the lighthouse and nearly killed himself with his own dagger while sloppily performing tricks with it. He is playing a pitiful excuse of Russian roulette with himself to scratch at the growing itch to feel nothing. So, what's adding walks down memory lane to his routine? Surely it only got worse from here. Why prolong the inevitable? 

A single stifled gunshot finds its way past the walls of The Revenge, and a memory spills into his consciousness like black ink. 

Blackbeard snaps his head back, eyes easily finding the young man holding the gun that had just saved his ass. Israel steps beside him, shoving the crumpled body to the side with a sharp kick, shooting Blackbeard with a dark, cautionary look.

"Watch your ass, Captain, or we won't be coming out of this one alive."

Blackbeard grins something wicked. "Come on, Israel, look who you're talking to." 

"Precisely why I have to remind you." 

The pirate Captain barks out a laugh that sends a chill through the air, stilling a few of the poor souls who'd crossed paths with him on their venture across the seas, leaving his crew to deal a fatal blow at their short bout of fear. Bodies fall to the floor coldly, staining the deck red.

Blackbeard clasps a large hand on his crewman's shoulder, the glint in his eyes morphing into something vile. "I need to get below deck, watch my ass for me then, mate." He tosses the crewman a grin as he turns, cleanly slicing at a man's arm, the appendage falling to the ground with a sickening thump. The man's scream of pain never comes as a bullet between his eyes swiftly ends his pathetic life. 

Blackbeard cackles.

Israel does exactly as he was told.

The Pirate Captain sidesteps when someone chances a slash at him. Israel quickly blocks the recovery attack, giving Blackbeard enough time to rip out his gun and blast the motherfucker in the torso, sending him flying back and crashing into another fellow. 

Death trails heavily behind them like a warning. Lifeless eyes stare after leather boots caked in crimson, a flintlock's echoing boom and a foil sword's piercing whistle. The two fought together perfectly, covering each other's blind spots and filling the spaces where the others' skills faltered. 

Destruction had met calamity, and it was anything but sweet. The taste of iron and sweat hung too heavy on the men's tongues to imitate anything but irreconcilable power, piquant and tangy. 

The two made it below deck to the galley with a few enraged stragglers betting their chance at surviving. Israel fended them off as his Captain searched the room only to deflect a killing blow to the head by a cunning foe; grabbing a pan at his side, Blackbeard smashes the assailant's face with a hideous crunch. With a glance around to ensure there was no one else Israel couldn't deal with, Blackbeard rummaged through the room for only a few moments before seeing it. 

What followed next was a burst of flame and heavy smoke filling the dreary sky as the ship slowly sank the remaining men that hadn't been kept as hostages. Blackbeard's crew watched from the safety of their vessel, the blaze warming the quickly chilling night, the frantic yelling barely recognizable over the sounds of the fire. 

And there, watching the aftermath of their handiwork as the helmsman steers the crew away and out towards the endless sea, Israel stands at Blackbeard's side. 

With the smell of burning flesh in the air and the itchy, sticky feeling of dried blood on his leather and skin, the Captain realized how easy his crewman fell into the role. His ability to match Blackbeard to a T, to follow through with unwavering fidelity and obedience, the voice who always stood on Blackbeard's side when no one else would and without hesitance.

It was the night Blackbeard made Israel Hands his first mate.

"Above all else is loyalty to your Captain, Israel," he'd stated, leaning against the rails, smoking as his newly appointed first-mate watched him in earnest. "Remember that." 

"Of course, Blackbeard."

The door slams open with a violent bang. 

"Stop the raid!" 

Blackbeard unsheathes his gun on instinct, pointing it towards the person with the balls to burst into his quarters and demand anything from him. He shoves away the insecurities bubbling in his chest. Having been found vulnerable and unguarded, the tear stains standing out from the kohl smearing his face, burning as an unwanted reminder at the pairs of eyes suddenly in his presence.

"It was in Blackbeard's authority to loot and raid that vessel. Get back on deck!" Izzy barks, sneering at Jim as he steps towards them only to have a dagger swiftly placed at his throat, blood trickling down his neck. 

"Don't," Jim growls at the first-mate, turning their gaze back to Blackbeard. "Call off the fucking raid now! There are children on that ship-" 

"Jimenez-" Izzy bites out in warning, but Blackbeard's already lowering his gun and rushing past them both, shoving Izzy to the side as he dashes up to the deck, Jim hot on his heels. 

His mind fills with curses as fierce anger licks at his insides, igniting the embers in his chest, fueling his urgency without the help of his unsteady steps as the alcohol makes the world tilt. 

He doesn't acknowledge the pain in his shoulder as he harshly stumbles into the door frame as he passes through it, too occupied by the sight of the two children sitting on his vessel in front of Fang and Ivan, shielding the kids from the passenger ship.

Eerily familiar shouting and shattering bottles mesh with the battle's unfiltered outcries and impacts. 

"Worthless goddamn woman!"

His hands tremor with the sudden adrenaline of the faint memory, breath catching in his throat. It doesn't last long when a piercing wail buried underneath the bluster snaps the recollection away as fast as it had appeared.

Blackbeard calls for the raid to stop immediately. Ordering his men back onto the ship, trying his best to cover their asses alongside some of his crew as guards appear from the upper deck of the other vessel, raining down bullets on the pirates trying to leave at their Captain's orders. When Blackbeard's informed that everyone's on board, including his injured men, he shoots the remaining guard's up-top himself. He may be drunk off his ass, but he still knew how to use a gun, unlike Calico Jack. The motherfucker. 

With no one else to worry about, Blackbeard orders Fang to get them as far away from the ship as possible, eyes quickly scanning the crowded deck for a particular person.

The Kraken makes his way towards Izzy, grabbing him by the shirt and shoving him into the nearest mast with a snarl that matches the magma warming his insides, lava leaking from his mouth, searing the man in his clutches from the white-hot fury churning in his belly. "What the fuck were you thinking?! You know the rules when looting vessels! And don't feed me that shit about you just following my fucking orders! You've done everything but listen to me ever since we set foot on this ship!" He unsheathes his dagger and stabs it into the mast at the side of his first mate's head as he turns dark, steely eyes to pick out Jim in the mess of his crew, "And you, don't you ever fucking barge in like that again, or I'll grind your fucking bones to a pulp!" 

Jim doesn't even bat an eye at his threat, and it only fans his rage as he turns back to Izzy. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't tie you up and leave you on the doorstep of the fucking English!" 

"Blackbeard-" 

The Kraken tugs the dagger out to ram it harder into the mast nearer to Izzy's neck and roars, "Tell me, dog!"

When the shorter man only sputters nonsense, the Kraken shoves his first mate to the side, forcing him to the ground, standing above him. 

His breath reeks of booze as his hands tremble. The kohl still marks traces of weakness down his cheeks as his messy hair falls across his tense shoulders and face, framing fierce eyes that bore into Izzy with an intensity that would have anyone else shit themselves. But not Izzy, never Izzy. His first mate never backed away when he was violent. It used to be a comforting quality, but now it just made him want to rip the man apart. 

Izzy growls, scowling, "You're not yourself!" The smears on his face sting at the statement, leaving the Kraken suddenly overly aware of the eyes watching them, the tension settling thick in the air. "It's my job to make you, you again!" 

"Oh, by disobeying and betraying me every chance you fucking get?!"

"I'm doing this for you!" 

"Fuck off!" Blackbeard snaps and quickly unsheathes his gun, cocking it at Izzy, who lets out a sputtering breath at the weapon. Edward's eyes start to sting, the anger in his chest wavering as shame, self-loathing, and insecurity mix into a concoction of nerves. "I said give me a reason!" 

"The English are still after both of us! If you toss me to the sharks, there's no way for me to help you with them! Even if you can deal with them alone, there's no telling what would happen! You need me," Izzy boldly states, "You fucking need me, Captain." 

The Kraken bares his teeth at his near smugness and pushes a leather boot to his first mate's neck, choking him. "One more mess up, and I'll kill you my fucking self. Do you understand?" 

A pained groan escapes Izzy's lips. 

"Do you understand?!" 

"Yes, Blackbeard." 

The Captain removes his foot, and Izzy moves to his side, coughing as he holds his throat, face red. Blackbeard glares at the rest of his crew. "Back to work!" 

No one needs to be told twice as the deck busies itself with ship maintenance, fixing what had been damaged in the semi-failed looting. 

Blackbeard peers over at the children taken aboard and out of the skirmish. He glances down at the gun in his hand, noting how hard he's shaking, thinking better about approaching them. He was drunk and had just reamed his first mate a new one in front of the entire crew, minus those in the infirmary. Now wasn't the time to be dealing with children. Instead, he motions Jim over from where they were staring him down from across the deck and charges them with the responsibility of watching over the kids.

Neither of them says anything as Blackbeard retreats back below deck, not gracing Izzy so much as a glance as he passes by him as the shorter man holds his wounds that had undoubtedly been worsened in their little confrontation. 

The Kraken couldn't care less about his state. The bastard didn't deserve his concern.

"Izzy?" Blackbeard repeats, a small ghost of a smile forming on his lips, raising a brow at his first mate.

Leaning against the mast of the quarter-deck, Israel glances at Blackbeard, narrowing his eyes, instantly defensive. "What?"

"Nothing, I just didn't know you had a nickname, mate." Blackbeard crosses his arms, peering down at the shorter man, amused by the roll of his eyes. Always so easily ruffled, no wonder people loved to talk shit about him behind his back. "You told the boys you prefer it over your actual name. Why didn't you tell me?" 

"It isn't important," Israel firmly reasons. Blackbeard takes note of the suppressed connotations hidden in his words. "It doesn't change anything about my role as your first mate." 

Blackbeard leans against the mast beside Israel. The man looks up at him, brows furrowing. "I don't know about that, Israel," Blackbeard states, shifting to look up at the evening sky. Israel watches him, studying his amused expression. "Calling you Izzy isn't taking away from your role as my first mate either. If everyone's calling you Izzy, isn't it really fucking weird that I don't? You're my first mate and frankly the only first mate I'd trust with my life and with my name."

"Your name?" Israel repeats, taken aback.

"Yeah, my name," Blackbeard confirms, face contorting into its natural cold, stoic state. "You know what happens to those who call me by my real name. You were there for most of the executions, which should tell you how much I trust you, Israel. You've proven yourself to me on more than one occasion." Blackbeard turns his gaze to Isreal, "So, let's make a deal."

"I'm listening," Israel states.

"If I get to call you Iz, then you can call me Edward," Blackbeard proposes.

"Deal."

"You've always been a reasonable man, Iz." He claps Izzy on the shoulder as selfish glee leaks into Izzy's expression.

"I learned from the best, Edward."

Blackbeard chuckles. Izzy's lips nearly twitch into a smile.

-

A gentle, caring hand wipes a tear from her cheek, barely brushing the bruise already forming there. "Alma, look at me." 

The girl forces herself to do as she's told, turning her gaze toward her mother, who kneels down in the grass. Alma bites down on her bottom lip, trying her hardest to keep the lump in her throat down. Her hair waves ever so slightly in the warm summer wind. The shadows of leaves dance across them.

"Do you know the difference between someone stupid and someone brave?" Alma shrugs her shoulders, shifting her gaze to stare at her mother's cravat, fiddling with the black cloth. Mary settles her hands on her daughter's forearms, eyes scanning her expression. 

"An idiot doesn't care about who gets hurt. They don't think about anyone else but themselves. And, to be honest, they don't think about the consequences of their actions either. But someone brave?" Mary shifts, holding her daughter's hands securely in her grasp, leaving the cravat to fall from Alma's fingers as her mother tries to catch her gaze. "She does what she knows is the right thing to do. Not just for herself but for everyone she cares about, those who matter. She doesn't back down even when it's scary, even if she's made a mistake. She follows through, faces it head-on, and isn't afraid of admitting that she did something wrong, that she's scared." 

Alma meets her mother's determined, understanding eyes, unspilled tears blurring her vision.

"You're brave, Alma. Never allow anyone to tell you any different."

Louis's hands are clammy as he grips her hand and arm, clinging to her tightly as he hides his face, hiccuping between each sob. Alma holds her brother as close as possible, watching as the man with the black face paint stomps away. 

"Alma, what do we do?" Louis asks in a small, unsteady voice. He peeks up at her, rubbing his cheek on her arm, staining her with warm tears. 

Alma turns her gaze away from the pirates to glance at her brother, uncertainty making her eyebrows pinch together, trembling lips pressing into a thin line. "I don't know."

"I want to go back home, Alma," Louis pleads, tugging at her.

"I know," She states, eyes catching sight of someone walking towards them. She impulsively tugs Louis behind her, glaring up at the person as she stands tall in front of her cowering brother. 

The pirate wearing a hat narrows their eyes at her. "Follow me." 

Louis releases a terrified gasp at the words, digging his fingers into Alma's dress and pulling the two away from the person watching them like a hawk. "They're going to kill us!" Louis weeps frantically, starting to hyperventilate at the alarming situation they both found themselves in. "Alma, we can't go down there, please, we can't- Alma, I'm scared."

Alma pales and stares up with wide eyes at the person, suddenly hit with the same realization. 

They were going to die, weren't they? They had just been hiding in a room what felt like seconds ago before being spotted by two leather-clad men. The same men forced them to board the ship while protecting them from most of the sights and sounds of whatever was happening before being called away, leaving them alone hesitantly. Alone to be approached by this person who was surely about to take them downstairs and end their lives. Because these were pirates. The real pirates their father had read to them. The pirates that left Louis waking up in the middle of the night crying after Alma had indulged Stede's endless stories of fearsome outlaws in lawless seas. 

They were about to die by real, true pirates, and there was nothing Alma could do to stop it.

"You're not going to die."

The words cause Alma and Louis' tear-stained faces to blink up at the pirate, not quite understanding. 

"I said, you're not going to die." The words are less harsh, softening around the edges, though barely.

"T-Then where," Alma swallows down her stutter, "Where are we going then?"

The pirate crouches, looking the two children in the eyes as Louis steps back in fright. "My room, if you can call it that," The pirate half mutters to themself.

The children share a look, brows knitting.

The person raises a brow almost light-heartedly. "Would you rather stay out here and fry yourself in the sun and piss everyone off when you get in their way instead?" 

The words leave Alma studying the pirate, face scrunching up in consideration. 

They seemed odd, like how the men who brought them aboard were strange. The one with the white hair and beard had tried to calm them, and the one in the striped shirt and dreadlocks had physically shielded them more than once following every big boom. The pirate standing in front of her now seemed desperately trying to look approachable despite appearing unsure, annoyed, awkward, and determined. 

All three might have acted the way they did to build a false sense of safety, so this stranger could lure them downstairs to kill them, but that didn't feel like an accurate assessment. 

So, that really only left one other possibility. These were perhaps somewhat friendly pirates, and if that was the case, following this pirate might be the best thing for her and Louis. They had, after all, pointed out what would happen if they stayed here.

Alma swiftly thinks through their options. 

"Alright, we'll follow you."

The stranger nods their head and stands back up, walking towards a flight of stairs. It takes a moment of quick explanation for Louis to not panic and instead cling to Alma, following after the person, shoes clicking against the floor, watching each leather-wearing pirate walking past in fear and suspicion. 

When the three step down further into the boat, Alma experiences the same feeling most characters in her favorite books do. She recognizes the uneasiness in her shoulders as she scans the nearly bare hall. As Alma studies a broken cabinet lying against a wall and a covered mirror, something drops in her stomach. She even experiences the tug in her chest when she notices the shadows that dull the warm sunlight that creeps in from the wooden floorboards and windows. 

It looks like a place a monster would hide, the kind that was once an ordinary person cursed to hurt others. Like La Belle et La Bête by Beaumont, a vampire or a werewolf, maybe even a vengeful ghost who fractures or hides things around them to feel better about what's happened. 

Alma quietly wonders if that's what these pirates were, cursed seamen wondering the tombs of a life they once belonged to and longed for. She can't help but find comfort in the thought of all this being one of the stories she'd sneak into her bag and read when no one was looking. Even the ones Alma would read under the tree near the creek a little ways away from her home, the little spot when she didn't want anyone around, especially her brother. 

She loves him dearly, but Alma always wished he wasn't with her all the time, wanting to do and be a part of everything she did. But, ironically, she didn't want Louis to be anywhere else but with her right now. She wasn't sure she could stay brave without him here to become a living, breathing reminder of what brave big sisters did; protect their little brothers. 

They eventually reach a room deeper in the ship, and the pirate ushers them inside, instructing them to sit down on a nook. Louis holds Alma's hand tightly, squeezing it as he leans his head against her shoulder. His wide, teary eyes follow the stranger's every move, flinching as the person squats in front of them.

"Are you guy's hurt at all?" The pirate asks, shifting their hat back to better look at the kid's physical state.

Alma shakes her head, "No." 

The stranger acknowledges this and stands back up, gracefully taking a seat on the bed across from them, crossing their legs and slouching. Uncomfortable, tense silence fills the space between them, only interrupted by Louis' sniffles and horse coughs from wailing loud enough that even the man in the face paint could hear him over the fighting when he emerged.

Alma's brows knit in thought as a question comes to mind. She glances at the pirate chewing at their bottom lip, looking somewhere to their left, uneasy and restless. This stranger might be the best and only person Alma can voice her question to, considering they haven't done anything terrible yet.

Uncertainty eats at her as she tries to frame her question. Stealing her expression and squeezing Louis' hand, she repeats her mother's words in her head. 

You are brave, you are brave, you are brave…

"The man-" The stranger looks at her, "-with the black face paint and the one he was yelling at. Who are they?" 

The pirate huffs, lazily shrugging their shoulder, answering the girl’s question. “The whiny guy practically trying to get himself stepped on was Izzy, Blackbeard’s—or the Kraken’s, fuck knows what he’s calling himself now—first mate.”

Alma sits up at the familiar name, "Blackbeard's on this ship?" 

"Yeah, he's the Captain," They nonchalantly gesture to their face in a fluid motion, "Black face paint guy." 

Alma blinks, suddenly overcome with curiosity. 

She knew about Blackbeard, especially since her father had read stories about the Pirate Captain to her months ago before he'd abandoned her and their family. But, even when Stede returned, he'd spoken about his adventures with Blackbeard. 

Alma hadn't necessarily believed him at the time, more because he'd decided to come back as if nothing had happened and less so that he may be making up the tale. Her father was always a bad liar regarding things he was passionate about, making it easy to pick up if his stories were false. 

But, even if her father might not have lied about his pirate life, there was no way her father could have gone on an adventure with the man she'd just witnessed minutes ago. Stede ran away from geese like her grandfather had told on countless occasions and became increasingly disturbed when confronted with the idea of violence. 

A nervous, eccentric man like her father couldn't breathe in the same room as the Blackbeard she'd seen without most likely fainting. She was certain.

"Wow," Alma breathes, staring off into the distance. "My father was more courageous than I thought." The stranger raises a brow, and Alma clarifies. "My father told us he had met Blackbeard on a Spanish ship, the two of them going on adventures together." 

The pirate's eyes widen, multiple emotions playing out across their face all at once, eyes glancing between the two children, realization quickly dawning on them.

"What were your names again?" 

"Alma and Louis Bonnet."

"Mierda…"

Alma's face scrunches up. "Did you know my father?" 

"Know your father?!" The stranger exclaims, standing up sharply, causing Louis to press himself closer to Alma, flinching. "He was my Captain por el amor de dios! And he just flat-out disappeared! Are you saying he's alive? Is he coming?" The pirate waves their hands wildly. "Wait, no, don't answer that question. We can't get caught talking about him." They quickly make their way over to the kids, leaning in close, causing Louis to hide his face, a frightened squeak leaving him. Alma just stares, completely lost. "Never talk about him, especially in front of Dickbag Captain. He'll toss you off the ship quicker than you can blink. ¿Comprendido?" 

The two kids share a look.

"Jesucristo," They rub a hand across their face, "Do you understand, numbnuts?" 

"Why doesn't Blackbeard like our father-" Alma's question is drowned out by a series of loud shushes, a hand slapping over her mouth. 

"What did I just say?!" 

Alma grumbles, her irritated comment muffled against the person's hand.

Louis looks between the two a little ways away, having quickly scooted away from the pirate when they quieted Alma, turning pleading eyes towards his sister. "Alma! You're going to make the pirates mad! Stop it!" 

The girl pry's the hand off her mouth, "Well, it's not my fault! It was just a question!"

"A question that'll get you killed, now zip it, or I'll zip it for you!" The pirate warns, matching the glare Alma turns their way.

"Make me banana breath!" 

"Alma!" 

"Banana breath?!" 

"Hey, Jim, are you in there?" The three turn their eyes towards the door as a rhythmic knock follows. "I don't want to get threatened to death again, so, if you can, let me know when to come in." 

The stranger rolls their eyes, walking over to the door and swinging it open to show a man standing on the other side, his eyes glancing between the three of them and the floor, head bowed. 

"What?" The pirate asks, harsh and direct. 

"Ivan and Fang sent me," The man looks around at the floor, never looking the pirate in the eye for long. "They wanted to know if the children were alright. Since you know," He vaguely waves his hand. 

"They're fine, though I think Señorita bocaza here will get herself killed before the night's end."

Alma puffs, glaring daggers at the back of the pirate's head. The man at the door snickers as the pirate whips their head around and shakes their head mockingly, sticking their tongue out at Alma. Louis looks like he's about to cry again as he shakes his sister's shoulder, silently pleading for her to stop. 

"You never told us your name," Alma points out, ignoring her brother again. 

The pirate opens their mouth to respond in annoyance when the man in the doorway interrupts. Pointing to himself and then the stranger with a smile. "I'm Frenchie. This is Jim." 

"Alma and Louis Bonnet," She responds, gesturing between her and her brother. 

Frenchie's eyebrows raise as his mouth goes slack, "I'm sorry, did you say, Bonnet?"

"Does no one here know how to shut up?!" Jim shouts, throwing their arms up, exasperated. 

"It's polite to introduce yourself," Alma argues.

"We're on a ship! This isn't some fancy little tea party, so can you all just stop risking everyone's lives for a second!"

"Uh," Frenchie glances between Jim and the children, face pulling into a worried expression, "If you're his kids, what do we do about that little problem, then? I'm not sure we have any more things on board he can break." 

"Easy," Jim responds through gritted teeth, "Don't. Say. Anything. About it."

"And if he finds out anyway?" Frenchie asks, fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt. 

"Well, they're not my kids, so…." 

"Hey!"

Jim waves Alma off, "I'm half-joking; I'll just go through with my original plan." That catches the little girl's attention, and Jim instantly shuts her down. "And no, I am not telling you about it." They push Frenchie into the hall. "Now, it's the grownup's time to talk. If you come out of this room at any point, I will hunt you down and stab you, got it?" 

"Uh-huh, sure you will," Alma groans as the door slams shut. 

A muffled shout answers her through the door, "Don't make me regret keeping your asses safe!"

There's a short pause before Louis speaks up from the nook, knees to his chest, half of his face hidden in his arms. "You're really brash, you know that?" 

Alma turns to her brother, the joy from the interaction slipping at her brother's frightened voice, her smile faltering. "Yeah, well, at least we know more than before."

"Oh, do we really? I learned that pirates are just as scary as I thought and that you're the worst sister ever!" Louis cries, chin trembling as he curls into himself, hiding the rest of his head in his arms. 

Alma's shoulders drop, guilt turning in her tummy as she watches Louis start to shake again. She slowly makes her way over, taking a seat next to him, letting him shuffle away from her as she crosses her legs. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be…brash, as you put it. I mean it."

Louis sniffs, using his sleeve to wipe at his face. "I know. It's just what you do." Alma lowers her head, playing with the ends of her hair. "You did the same thing when our cousin visited last fall when you got in trouble for throwing mud at her face." Louis glances at Alma with a shy expression. "It was kinda funny." 

Alma smiles, "Yeah. Just not something you'd appreciate, right?" 

Louis lets out a wet sigh. "I just don't know how you do it, Alma. Aren't you afraid that you'll just make people angry? Or that you'll be hurt if you keep talking and acting all tough? Those people could have killed you right now because you wouldn't stop being nosy!" 

"But, they didn't, did they?" 

"That's not the point!"

"Then what's the point?"

"Aren't you scared of what could happen? Don't you ever think things through?" Louis stresses.

"I think things through," Alma states, "And I just know that the worst possible thing I could ever think up is what won't happen. Remember what Doug taught us? Always remember the most realistic outcome when thinking of the worst possible scenario. If Jim and Frenchie wanted to kill us, they wouldn't have been kind enough to ask if we were okay and introduce themselves. Even though Jim didn't particularly like talking to us, they still answered some of our questions." 

"And what were those?" 

"Blackbeard is on this ship, and if what father said was true, they used to be friends. Jim and Frenchie knew our father. And there's also a rule about not speaking about him in front of Blackbeard." Alma turns a contemplating look to Louis. "The ship must have been looting ours, and that's why they attacked us, which was by accident. Or at least, I'm guessing, based on what Blackbeard said while scolding his first mate."

Louis nods, rubbing his arms. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

Alma shifts closer to Louis and wraps her arms around him, squeezing him in the hopes of comforting him, squashing every ounce of fear that plagued her little brother. "We're going to be alright."

Louis leans heavily into her sister's embrace, a warm, wet smile appearing, closing his eyes at her reassuring words and confidence.

"I trust you."

-

"Don't make me regret keeping your asses safe!" Jim shouts at the door with a huff, fixing their hat as they turn back to face an amused-looking Frenchie. They curl their lip, "What?" 

"I didn't peg you as an 'I'm actually not that bad with kids' type," Frenchie comments, cocking his head to the side. 

Jim crosses their arms, rolling their eyes. "I'm not good with kids either. They're loud, obnoxious, stupid little attention seekers, and I want nothing to do with them. If I didn't want Captain Dickbag on my ass, I wouldn't have come within fifty feet of them." 

"That's not what it looked like," Frenchie remarks, smile growing. 

"Shut up and get your eyes checked," Jim grumbles non-threateningly, grabbing Frenchie's sleeve, pulling him further into the hall until the door leading to their room is farther away but not out of sight. Their eyes check their surroundings briefly before settling back on Frenchie. "Now start talking."

"Well, there isn't much to talk about, really." Frenchie fidgets with his green scarf. "Captain has locked himself up again, and everyone is busy with the ship and tending to the rest of the Kraken's crew." 

"And Izzy?"

"Forced back into the infirmary," Frenchie answers, frowning. "You were serious, weren't you? You're thinking about going through with your original plan." 

"With these kids on board, I might not have a choice," Jim admits. "He's lost it. He fucking marooned our crew! He isn't getting out of this unscathed!" 

"Yeah, but it's Blackbeard, not only that but now the Kraken. You're going to get ripped to shreds."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Well, unless you've spoken with a very powerful sorcerer and don't get turned into a snail, I think going up against the best, scariest sea captain alive isn't the best move." 

"Mira, tonto, he's already left our crew to die. What's to stop him from killing us all because he wants to?" Jim pointedly gestures towards their room, venom dripping with each hushed word. "These kids are now onboard a floating fucking prison, and I will not stand here waiting for the off chance we can escape!" 

Frenchie raises his hands, backing a step away from Jim. "Nope, you're right, totally." 

Jim huffs, muttering something under their breath before slipping their thumb through the holder around their hips. "Look, I'm not stupid; I know what I'm doing. Just make sure to stay out of his fucking radar unless absolutely necessary, got it?" 

"Uh-huh, got it."

"Great, glad we're on the same page."

"Right, like we ever were."

-

His shoulder is sore from running into a doorway from his rage-infused drunken stupor, having given up massaging it. Trying to use the slight pain to ground him and make the nausea in his gut settle. 

Edward is peering through the only window he dares to unveil, holding his legs to his chest, cheek pressed to his knees, eyes glazed over. He half-mindedly watches the ocean sloshing against the ship and witnesses the first seconds of dawn, painting the sky in a deep amethyst purple. There are specks of glistening white stars standing against the slowly retreating night, clouds mixing between dark navy and lavender blues that caress the gentle sky. He can feel the ship rock underneath him and the red robe wrapping him in familiar smooth velvet, pooling around him. 

It's been hours since he was last on deck, the door locked shut, barricaded with the piano he hadn't tossed off the ship's edge. He didn't want another repeat of one of the crew members barging in, not when he felt raw. 

Izzy had been right, the English was sooner or later going to become a pest, and it was better to keep Izzy close, under wraps, so to speak. His first mate had pledged himself to the king and fought for an agreement to save Blackbeard from biting the bullet, leaving the English now pissed off with their broken allegiance. They were in danger of getting their asses blown to hell worse than before, and if the Kraken had gone through with his warning of tossing Izzy to the English, God knew what would happen. Izzy might drag Edward down with him given a chance or lose Izzy's usefulness when push came to shove. 

Nothing with his first mate was as 'simple' as it used to be. Nothing snapped into place anymore; they didn't click. Everything they had at the beginning of their partnership has dissolved and left nothing but a frustrating thorn in his side.

The only thing he had to fall back on was his old life, the predictable, legend-infused pirating he can never seem to escape from for too long. He has been met with defiance whenever he's ever tried to be anything other than a bloodthirsty, born-of-the-devil monster. It's a lesson he's learned early in life, but somehow he'd forgotten all about it. 

God decided Edward wouldn't be a man surrounded by anything soft and beautiful. He was meant to be a poor, worthless little boy who grew into the role of a monster with age, and she wasn't about to flip the script now. There is nothing for Edward here. The Kraken is everything he's meant to be. So why try anymore? What's the point?

Edward closes his eyes.

He was tired, and it wasn't just emotionally and mentally this time. His eyes ached, and his bones felt like anchors, leaving him unable to move from his seated position deep down in his ever-restless mind despite the faint ache in his shoulder and the oncoming protest of his knee. 

His mind kept consuming question after question, thought after thought, never leaving a second of peace for Edward to sleep longer than a few short hours. Yet again, it's hard to sleep when every dream is accompanied by soft, gentle smiles and sweetness so thick it always leaves Edward sick to his stomach.

Despite Edward's best efforts, he can't escape Stede, even when unconscious. He has recurring dreams, ones where the smell of salty seas is thick, and Edward can hear Stede's voice reading to him over the gentle whistle of the wind. Sometimes the scent changes into scented candles, and the feeling of the wind turns soft and cozy like thick blankets pressing against his body and the warmth of Stede's own at his side. 

The dreams reflect a memory that makes his heart swell, squeeze, and weep each time he remembers it. Most people think Edward—much like every other pirate—can't read, and they wouldn't be entirely wrong. Stede had never assumed; he always seemed to excel in curiosity but never made blatant assumptions regarding Edward. 

So the night they'd been talking about his ship's library, the topic of conversation had elegantly changed over to Stede's favorite books. His preferences, how he'd read to his children every chance he got, and how much his daughter enjoyed the adventure stories he'd read. Most were stories about pirates because it was Stede, and Stede had latched onto piracy with every inch of his being. Inserting it into his daily life with his children to share his interests with them, set an example to follow so that they'd share what they loved with him, too, or something along those lines since it usually never went as planned, or so Stede explained.

Then Stede had asked if Edward had any favorite books, and if he didn't, what would have been a book he had always wanted to read. 

If it were any other person, Edward would have answered with the usual fib that he couldn't read at all, that he'd never been taught, too poor to get a decent education. But it'd been Stede, and he never judged Edward. Yes, Stede was an insane idiot who was a total dork, but Stede never once pushed Edward or asked anything from him that wasn't Stede's weird way of making Edward happy, comfortable, or reassured. At least, before the English, so he told him the blatant truth.

He had taught himself how to read in his youth with a sheer 'fuck you' mindset when someone had told him he wasn't smart enough or capable before Izzy came around and taught him everything else he hadn't learned by himself. Blackbeard could read, and it came to his advantage when everyone around him believed he couldn't understand a scrap of it. Carelessly leaving out documents and not sparing him a glance when he inspected pieces of paper, studying his enemies, gaining information. 

That, however, didn't dissuade the second truth of the matter. Blackbeard was 'word blind,' or as Stede had helpfully given on the academic term, Dyslexic. Edward had only ever known the phrase 'word blind' because his mother's boss had some kid who couldn't read or write like everyone else. His mother had explained it had something to do with the eyes since it was a visual deficit. The eyes couldn't see words right, messing up what they saw to the point that some people can't read, even when taught by the best schools. 

Stede had given him one of his many warm smiles when he caught on, politely dismantling the false explanation for the disability. Explaining how it had more to do with the brain and how it interprets language. 

That night Edward learned what it felt like to have a deeper perception of himself, even if it was just a portion of who he was. The feeling of understanding settled snugly into his chest every time Stede brought up a struggle he'd experienced before, a characteristic he knew all too well or an ability he always prided himself on that was somehow linked to this learning disability. It was one of the conversations Edward kept close to his heart, the same part he'd placed in Stede's hands when the man told him he wore fine things well. 

It made the empty, throbbing void where his heart used to be, ache worse every time he woke up from those dreams. That made Edward hide his face in his hands, eyes stinging with the lump in his throat from every replay of the same moment. The same feeling of consideration that struck him in the chest made every kiss to dream Stede's shoulder tender, a thousand 'thank yous' hidden in every single one of them. 

It was one of the reasons he had to get rid of Stede's books. When he first returned to the ship, Edward had spent hours looking through Stede's library when he had the energy to do something more than lay in his own pit of despair. Damaging the pages with sticky marmalade fingers and thick tears before eventually giving up on trying and crying into the unfortunate pages he'd stop at to weep into like the pathetic heartbroken piece of shit he is. 

He couldn't stand to look at them once he realized people like him didn't get libraries on ships. Not because he couldn't make it happen—he could—but because the Kraken didn't have any need for books and useless decorations. They reeked of Stede, and even that was enough reason to throw them out to end up at the bottom of the ocean, where everything that held Edward's fragile sensibilities is buried more and more every day. 

Edward opens his eyes to shift his head to gaze at the empty shelves hidden in the pitch-black darkness that engulfed the cabin early in the morning. They looked as hollow and lifeless as Edward feels most days when even misery takes its leave to join anger somewhere far away from him. Leaving him with nothing but the echoing emptiness.

Everything was so fucking depressing, and Edward didn't have the energy to give a rat's ass anymore. The itch in the back of his mind makes itself known with the sudden longing to be at the bottom of the sea with Stede's things. 

The sensation doesn't last long as his mind turns to the likelihood of the ship they'd nearly attacked being left at the bottom of the ocean with a sudden shock of dread. They hadn't done enough damage with their cannons to sink a ship, but God herself knew that that doesn't mean shit when you have Izzy Hands as your first mate. 

Blackbeard rubs at his face, somehow reaching a new level of exhaustion. He would have to demand his first mate to tell him what damage he'd caused. Also, Blackbeard had to figure out what to do with the children on his ship. 

The simplistic answer would be to drop them off somewhere safe as quickly as possible, but Edward isn't about to drop two fucking minors off anywhere. He'd have to talk with them about where their destination would have been or have someone else find out for him. But then again, after the shit Izzy pulled, he doesn't want anyone else to be given a chance to fuck things up around here.

Blackbeard groans as he shifts, flinching from the ache in his knee as he unfolds it, painfully stretching out the stupid fucking thing across the bed. Ignoring the chill that runs up his spine, forming goosebumps across his skin from the brisk morning air cooling his quarters. 

Continuing to massage his knee, Blackbeard picks his clothes off of the floor near the broken dresser the lighthouse painting is settled on. Pulling on his pants, he fastened his brace, lifting his leg off the bed to move his knee around, grimacing with a sudden surge of pain from the movement. 

"Fuck," he mutters to himself as he lets his leg drop sharply, going back to massaging it through the leather instead, hoping it's not going to be one of those days where it bugs him unless he boils some water and warms the son of a bitch with a rag. 

It takes some time until it doesn't bug him as much anymore. Eventually, he can stand up and shuffle slightly towards Stede's secret closet, delicately folding up the red robe and storing it away, unable to look at anything directly as he shuts the hidden wardrobe behind him. He continues getting dressed, seating himself back on the bed when he's fully clothed, using the light of the only open window and the reflection of his dagger to apply kohl to his face and the growing beard before clipping on his single dangling earpiece. 

With all the parts in place, Blackbeard lifts his dagger and stares into his reflection one last time, eyes cold and threatening, darkened by the black kohl staining his features. He slowly utters the phrase under his breath that rips Edward away from him.

"I am the Kraken, the killer in the flesh, a monstrous legend bound by nothing but rage and hatred..."

Sheathing his dagger, he stands, head held high as he makes his way out of his chambers, removing the piano and setting it in front of Stede's other closet carelessly. There's no sound besides the skeleton crew above deck as Blackbeard makes it towards the infirmary first.

The Captain keeps his eyes forward, actively avoiding the few broken and untouched decor pieces. The sight of the fractured paintings, maps, and the weapons and tools fastened to the walls all make his fingers twitch. The Kraken wants to rip each one with his bare hands. Feel how the metal bends in his fists, hear the crunch of wood, the tearing of canvases and frames. He doesn't indulge the urge; instead, he forces his attention on the few injured men occupying the beds as he walks into the ship's infirmary, making sure his steps barely stir the room's occupants from their slumber. 

Blackbeard finds his first mate easily, dozing in the bed farthest from everyone else despite the room's size. He looms over Izzy like a shadow, mildly reminded of the day he severed the man's toe and fed it to him. Though he was much more dressed now than before with only his vest gone and his shirt unbuttoned to not constrict his healing ribs. 

The Kraken pinches his first mate's forearm with a twist of skin, pleased when Izzy jolts awake, harsh words muffled by the gloved hand that swiftly finds its way over his mouth to ensure he doesn't wake the others. The remarks quickly die on the man's tongue when his eyes meet the Kraken's gaze, watching him with uncertainty as his Captain leans in close. 

"You will answer every single one of my questions," The Kraken whispers into Izzy's ear, words thick with a warning. "Or I'll feed you more than your toes, got it?" The Kraken can feel how Izzy's throat bobs as he swallows, head nodding in understanding. "Good," The Kraken removes his hand from his first mate's mouth and pulls away from Izzy's immediate space. "Now, how much damage did you cause to the ship you attacked yesterday? Did you damage it enough to sink it?"

"No, Captain," Izzy whispers, shaking his head, "I merely ordered warning shots and ensured the crew disposed of the guards. Word has spread that we've been looting vessels left and right, and ships are starting to become infested with guards, making it harder to ensure that our remaining crew is kept alive." 

The Kraken narrows his eyes, ignoring Izzy's observations, "Are you certain there's no way that ship could have sunk?" 

"I'm certain, Captain."

"Good," Blackbeard half-heartedly mutters, moving to leave.

"It was never my intention to disobey you, Captain," Izzy states quickly, sitting up. Blackbeard pauses, head turned away from his first mate. 

"You know I would never ignore your mandates without good reason, Blackbeard. Bonnet ruined you, turned you into something you're not," Izzy starts, exasperated. Blackbeard clenches his fists and jaw, body tensing as he snaps back to face his first mate with a burst of rage. Izzy simply never fucking gives up, does he? Edward is tired of hearing this spill, of this fucking excuse. "I have always done everything you have ever asked of me and more. He left, but I have never abandoned you!"

"Israel!" The Kraken barks, watching the flash of distress that swiftly appears across Izzy's face with satisfaction.

"It's my job to make sure you are content!"

"When have you ever made sure I was content?!"

"If that means disobeying," Izzy raises his voice, ignoring Blackbeard, "Or bending your commands to ensure that you remain yourself, remain my Captain, then I will! Even if that means protecting you from Stede's brats before they can destroy you too!"

Edward freezes, the air suddenly knocked out of his lungs, mind silent, body stiff. For a moment, all he can do is stare through his first mate, the world slowing down as the words ring in his mind like a piercing echo. All traces of his hungover state seem to evaporate with it.

Denial is the first emotion to arrive at the ludicrous mention of Stede's children on board The Revenge. Stede was never shy about speaking of the family he left behind when it was simply him and Edward. He knew of Mary's hatred for the sea and her disdain at Stede's idea of living out on the waters as a family. If these were the same children raised under her, then there was no way they'd be here at sea. Who was with them, if not Mary? Would the woman Stede described even allow her children near a boat, let alone on one? 

Uneasiness accompanies the thought of Stede having been on that ship. Was Stede the one who was watching over the children? Why was he there with them? Did Izzy know he was there too? 

Had Stede been killed by his first mate in a supposed declaration of 'protecting' Blackbeard?  

Multiple emotions come to life at the question: worry, hope, confusion, countless amalgamations of feelings he doesn't have the time to unpack as they eventually rapidly tunnel into that all too familiar searing outrage. 

The Kraken takes Izzy's shirt with a tight fist, tossing him onto the floor carelessly, thoughtlessly, ravishing in the pained gasps, wheezes, and groans, the tremor that ignites Izzy's body in near-visible pain. The others in the infirmary do nothing but add to the satisfaction feeding the sea monster's wrath. Their bodies tense in fear from their beds at the chill that freezes the room with each thump of the Kraken's steps towards Izzy Hands. 

"Don't fucking mess with me, Israel!" The Captain yells, the words booming, sharp enough to slice Izzy three feet shorter. "The next words out of you better be a god damn explanation, or your spleen and kidney will go nicely with your fucking rations!" 

Izzy meets the Kraken's gaze without issue, "I was following your orders when Fang and Ivan reported spotting children aboard. I had been ready to cease the raid, as always, until I caught sight of their faces, and I knew I had to keep them away from you! I ordered the attack to continue, but Jim intervened before I could follow through. I would never harm those children, Blackbeard, but I had to protect you from them!" 

Edward sucks in a sharp breath, knees starting to tremble as a lump forms at the back of his throat. The Kraken wants to tear Izzy apart limb by limb without mercy. Watch him squirm, cry out, bleed. 

It must show on his face because Izzy's frozen in place, staring as if holding his breath. An unsettling calm settles over the Captain as something cruel slithers its way up Edward's spine and fixes itself tightly around his heart.

The Kraken sneers.  

"You're worthless, Israel Hands. Not a spec of value in you."

Izzy's expression cracks. Edward's heart suffocates. 

The Kraken looks away from the pathetic man and steps around him to the door, looking towards one of his injured crew members, pausing at the entrance. 

"You," The Kraken barks at the bearded man, "Once you've recovered, you'll be filling Israel's place as my first mate, understood?" 

"Understood, Captain!" The man repeats, voice deep, expression composed, sitting as straight as he can.

Blackbeard knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he had been on the boat the night the Spanish nearly killed Stede. He wielded an ax, checking the surroundings behind him as he spoke to the Gentleman Pirate. 

The Kraken turns back to Izzy, watching the turmoil unfold across his face. Drinking in how his eyes turn desperately to him, stuttering out words that the Kraken didn't care enough to listen to as he shoots a glare that he hopes stops the man's heart for good before leaving Israel Hands lying on the floor, stripped of his name, title, and power. 

Edward doesn't leave the cruel clutches of the Kraken's grasp until he's standing in the Captain's Quarters, knees hitting the ground, shoulders heaving with each stifled sob.

-

"You'd think getting kidnapped would be a lot more eventful," Alma states, spread out across the floor, staring up at the ceiling. "Maybe we are being tortured to death, but with bordeom." Jim rolls their eyes as Alma turns her head to face the pirate, lips pressed together tightly, nose scrunched up, “I’ve seen it done before! Charles at the all boys school has nearly repelled every other kid his age from hanging out with him because of his long explanations on different types of fungi.”

“Kid, don’t you have better things to do than talk my ear off?” Jim grumbles, sharpening their dagger with frustration. 

“No, I just thought irritating you to death would be better than doing literally anything else,” Alma responds sarcastically, crossing her arms and looking back at the ceiling with a condescending shake of her head. 

“Oh, you’re a little fucking shit.”

Alma doesn’t respond, trying to stifle a grin at Jim’s comment. Louis’ snores and the echo of footsteps around the boat are the only sounds filling the early morning between the pirate and girl. 

It’s only been a day since they were taken, but Alma’s found out that despite how dark and depressing the ship is, speaking with Jim was always entertaining. They always acted so tough, mysterious, and annoyed by everything that it made poking and prodding at them unexpected fun. 

“I’m sure you’re used to it by now, you sailed with my Dad after all,” Alma comments. Jim shoots Alma a glare as the girl let’s out an exaggerated sigh. “‘Don’t talk about Stede aboard The Revenge or someone might hear you and tell Blackbeard and then he’ll get really mad,’ I know, I know.” Alma turns to face Jim, settling on her side with an annoyed huff, resting her cheek on her fist. “He talked a lot, right? And he had this weird habit of moving his mouth while saying or reacting to something? Did he ever kinda shut down while he was here?” 

Jim blinks, brows knitted as their eyes shift over Alma’s guarded gaze. Something unspoken passes through the silence and Jim’s resolve crumbles ever so slightly within their expression. They rub their eyes and grunt out a string of spanish mutters, sheathing their dagger before laying down on their bed, a leg freely swinging back and forth at the side of the bed in uncertainty. “Okay, Señorita bocaza, you can only talk about your father in this room and I’ll answer what I’ll answer and that is going to be it unless said otherwise, got it?” 

Alma grins triumphantly, “Okay!” She shifts closer, staring up at Jim expectantly. “Okay, so how was he as a Captain? Were all his stories true about the islands? The ships he’s been on? Did he really get into a sword fight with Blackbeard’s right hand man?” 

Jim shakes their head, almost seemily regretting their decision already, “He was a terrible Captain. I don’t know which ones he’s told you about but we’ve been to a handful of places and ships, most of the time he was getting himself killed on them in one way or another. And yeah he did, probably the only time his idiocy was somewhat impressive.” 

“He was still annoying, right? The talking, the weird mouth habit?” 

“Dios Mio, yes.” 

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Alma states in a contemplative tone, staring at the floor, drawing imaginary shapes into the wood with a frown. Jim glances at her expression before turning to look at the wall. 

“He wasn’t always an idiot, though.” 

Alma swiftly looks back up at Jim, raising a brow with a tilt of her head, opening her mouth to nudge Jim to continue as a harsh knock on the door stops her. Jim and Alma turn their gaze to the door, the pirate instantly standing, smoothly coming to stand in front of Alma and Louis, a hand resting on their freshly sharpened dagger. Alma’s eyes are glued to the door as her breathing picks up, a feeling in her tummy causing her to feel like there was suddenly something to be afraid of. 

That something was wrong. 

The white bearded man that had ushered her onto the ship comes bursting in, eyes wide, glancing around the room before landing on the two kids with a kind of half-hearted relief. “The boss wants to talk to the kids.”

“What about?” Jim prods, narrowing their eyes, hand resting at their hip instead of directly over their dagger. 

“He’s found out they’re Stede’s,” The guy explains. Jim and Alma share a glance with a shared thought, did he hear about it from us? “I don’t know what  happened but I think Izzy must have figured it out and told him because he’s no longer first mate.” 

Jim’s expression flashes through different kinds of shock, hand falling to their side. “Dick face demoted him?”

“Yeah, and it’s not pretty, Izzy’s scary quiet and Blackbeard’s locked himself up again for a few hours now. He’s only recently ordered me to send the kids into his quarters.” 

“Drunk?” 

“Not black out but a little tipsy.” 

“On a blind rage?” 

“Nothing was broken when I was called in.” 

Jim doesn’t look at Alma but she knows exactly what Jim’s worrying about. They have this subtle tell when something’s bothering them, they’ll clench their jaw and lean to the side while going from direct eye contact to a repeated ‘glance and look away’ or indirect eye contact. They did it everytime Alma tried to ask Jim questions about themself. 

[licncourt]

louis as a female-coded character (or not)

I'm fully aware that this is a controversial topic and it's obviously been argued quite a lot in both directions, namely Louis as female-coded vs Louis as an example of white male privilege. I'll start by saying that, as is the case with many things, I don't see the answer as a clear "he is" or "he isn't". He has features that pull both ways, and that's really to be expected.

In general, Louis exists almost exclusively in shades of gray, in a state of almosts and not quites. That near-total ambiguity is integral to Louis as a character and I think trying to apply one universal reading to him is reductive. If he can be almost moral, almost evil, almost disciplined, almost human, why can't he be almost female-coded or almost a picture of white male privilege?

To make this less complicated, I'm going to split it into three main sections: the compelling arguments for reading Louis as female-coded, those for reading him as an all-encompassing white masculine figure, and where I think things shake out in my personal opinion.

Louis as female-coded:

PSA: I have spoken already about my dislike of characterizing Louis as a misogynistic stereotype of a woman in late canon and some fanon. I see this as an entirely separate issue, female-coding =/= misogynistic stereotypes. At least not always.

I think there will always be some validity to a reading of Louis as female-coded simply by virtue of his origin. You can never separate him entirely from the woman who inspired him, who created him as a self portrait. Anne Rice crafted Louis as a fictional reflection of herself in the midst of maternal grief and that will always exist as a baseline reading.

Another controversial topic in VC debates is the abusive nature of Loustat in IWTV, specifically if/to what extreme Lestat was an abusive partner. I'm not going to discuss that at length here, but there are some (I think) generally agreed upon harmful behaviors on Lestat's end and a lot of those end up creating situations for Louis that parallel common female experiences.

The first of these is Lestat's means of exercising control over him. Louis is (at least in his mind because of Lestat's insistence) ignorant of important information about vampires and vampiric nature. This makes him dependent if he values his own well-being. For many women, especially in the 18th and 19th centuries, minimal or a total lack of formal education restricted their ability to function independently. This also extended to an ignorance of their own bodies. Louis' forced reliance on Lestat's knowledge of life and his physical form mirrors this rather well.

Another way Lestat secures control is with Claudia. This one is very obvious, clearly a "baby trap". This act could actually code Lestat as female in some ways, but I would argue it's more analogous to a husband forcing a pregnancy on a wife to keep her from leaving. His previous method of control failing, Lestat takes advantage of Louis succumbing to his hunger in order to create Claudia.

Through a sexual lens, the feeding becomes the "intercourse" itself (I know, I'm sorry, please stay with me) and then Lestat, without Louis' consent, takes the potential that's held in the dying Claudia and creates a daughter. By turning Claudia, he's mimicked an "impregnation" that mirrors a man sabotaging birth control or forcing unprotected sex during a sexual encounter. The initial act is consensual (the feeding), but it's extended to cause an unwanted pregnancy (ie removing the condom, not pulling out).

At this point, Louis feels an emotional attachment to Claudia that's compounded by his own part in her creation, as if he created the potential for "life" that was "fertilized" (fed with blood). This is very common with mothers in cases of unplanned pregnancy, and it often pushes the woman to attempt reconciliation with her male partner for the sake of the child and to keep the family unit intact, especially if she, like Louis, feels that leaving would risk the child's safety or force her to forfeit custody (we know Lestat made implied threats against Claudia to Louis and could certainly have physically prevented him from leaving with her).

Within the power dynamic Louis and Lestat create, there are some ways (not all) in which Louis takes a more feminine position, at least in a stereotypical manner. In a mutually toxic hetero relationship, the quintessential model is often an outwardly aggressive man (in this case Lestat, the one who appears to have done most of the yelling, breaking objects/property damage, threats, displays of physical strength, etc) and a manipulative woman playing mind games (here that was Louis, leveraging his intelligence to punish Lestat by feigning apathy, undermining his self-esteem, withholding affection, etc). Obviously this is not the case for every toxic straight couple, but I would argue that these are the general assumptions.

Outside of his relationship with Lestat, Louis is also written and described by AR in strangely misogynistic ways. Again, I've talked about this before, but I'll run through some examples. The first is what is essentially slut shaming (I hate that term, but it gets my point across). At the end of TotBT, David and Lestat have a discussion that boils down to the idea that being turned into a vampire against your will (being raped) is preferable to consenting to being turned because it absolves the victim of any moral responsibility and makes them stronger.

Obviously the implication is that Louis is immoral (a "slut") for asking to be turned (consenting to and having sex). This is a disturbingly common belief in our culture. Not only is a woman having and enjoying sex immoral, but a victim of rape (or a vampire who was turned against their will) is better and stronger for it having happened (unless the woman was "asking for it", but that's another issue).

David (the truest representation of white male bullshit in the entire series, perhaps ever) comes up again as the AR-appointed perpetrator of this kind of idea, this time in Merrick. Instead of being morally weak for asking to be turned/having sex, his narration is deeply disparaging when it comes to Louis' mental health. On numerous occasions throughout the book, David speaks negatively of how emotional Louis is, trivializing and seeming disgusted/annoyed by his grief, suicidal thoughts, depression, and later, his sexual assault.

This is a terrible and deeply uncompassionate way to frame mental health in general, but what tips this dismissal of emotional pain it over into some very unfortunate female-coding is the simultaneous emphasis on Louis' beauty, sex appeal, and "softness". Really the only unequivocable positives David seems to see in Louis are how beautiful he is (this is mentioned many times and culminates in an unwanted sexual overture) and how soft/gentle he is in a very infantilizing manner. He's overly emotional, but at least he's quiet, non-confrontational, and well-behaved with nice, appropriate hobbies <3

The misogynistic female-coding goes even farther in the Prince Lestat trilogy, but that discussion/my rant about submissive tradwife Louis is linked in the PSA.

Louis as an embodiment of white male privilege

Right off the bat, it's easy to understand why people see this archetype reflected in Louis. He's white, he's wealthy, he's educated, he's a family patriarch, he owns slaves, and dictates the life of his mother and sister. He's the embodiment of what privilege looked like in the 18th century colonies. Even further, it's clear that this really is the lived experience Louis identifies with and that it's how he sees himself based on his reaction to Lestat's control over him.

Louis taking on a somewhat female-coded role in his vampire life is especially interesting since he doesn't start the story that way. By gaining vampiric power (becoming sexually involved with/marrying a man if we go back to female coding), he actually loses a portion of his autonomy, something that is obviously disturbing and foreign to him. Fortunately for him, a lot of it remains intact. His race is still visibly white, his gender visibly male, his economic status remaining unchanged or improving. He's the unchallenged breadwinner of the family and the sole manager of their business ventures and finances, something that in itself refutes the idea that he's entirely female-coded.

These static realities are a significant factor in his ability to exist as a vampire and it shields him from a great deal of potential hardship. He doesn't have to attend a day job to have a reliable income, he has access to slaves and servants to do tasks he couldn't complete on his own, and his wealth, gender, education, and race all come together to deflect suspicion and protect him should any arise (of his vampiric nature or of his sexuality/relationship with Lestat).

Furthermore, he seems largely unaware and/or unconcerned with this fact. His relationship with his privilege and how it informs his his intellectualism and moral compass is demonstrated pretty effectively in IWTV and it really permeates his narration and his character flaws. That lack of awareness is a privilege of its own. He's never in a position where he's required to examine his own complicity in the suffering of others or his part in larger frameworks of power because he's never the victim of it or of people like him.

So where does that leave us? In a pretty interesting place as far as I'm concerned. Louis comes out as a character who is at the top of the social ladder but pretty lacking in autonomy in his personal life. He's an almost maternal figure to Claudia but also the paternal backbone of the household. He's a predator and a victim, a devoted intellectual who's emotional to his own detriment. My favorite thing AR ever did in VC was refuse to mold Louis into an existing shape. He's contradictory and cherry-picked in a way that feels authentic.

Personally, I much prefer this blended masculine/feminine reading for both Louis and Lestat because it makes their relationship feel much more organic and less like a heterosexual "who's the woman/man" stereotype (which I think it very much is later on). Some gay couples have a distinctly masculine and distinctly feminine partner who take on larger gender roles, but more often that isn't the case. Both Louis and Lestat are Claudia's caregivers/parental figures and seem to invest equal effort in her upbringing. Lestat is physically stronger but Louis is the sole source of income. They're both predatory through vampirism but have noticeably effeminate traits.

The fact that both of them exist as fully fleshed out characters with a blend of masculine and feminine traits (like most real people have) and an obvious amount of gender non-conformity is part of their draw and what makes the story and dynamic of relationship work so well in the trilogy. They become far less interesting and far less complex individually and together once AR makes them "married" for real. She puts them into "man" and "woman" boxes by playing up Louis' feminine traits and Lestat's masculine traits to an absurd degree, even if it comes in direct conflict with their established personalities.

All of this is what makes that late-canon simplification and feminization so disappointing to me as a fan. The compelling nature of Louis as a character is so reliant on his dualities and committing to one reading or the other takes away from his dimensionality. It flattens him out and sticks him in a box, and one of my favorite things about him in the trilogy is that he isn't one thing that can be nailed down.

That's why I never find "Louis vampires" in pop culture (Edward from Twilight, Stefan from TVD, Angel from Buffy, etc) to be as interesting as the source material. Boiling him down to "sad vampire who doesn't like to kill humans" fundamentally misunderstands him and forgets about the conflicting traits and cognitive dissonance that makes Louis Louis.

Declaring him a masculine or feminine caricature and committing to reading him as such takes away from the experience and I hope anyone who falls firmly on one side or the other of this debate gives this perspective a chance.

[alarrytale]

Happy Friday, Marte! Two things for little discussion.

Talking about Louis´ closet and his flamboyancy/mannerism - just yesterday I told my friends that I will probably travel to Munich in September to see Louis and just to get away from my normal life for a bit. And when I send them the first announced artists, I noticed there´s Tokio Hotel playing there as well. I don´t know how much you loved/hated them 20 years ago when they were popular mostly in the central Europe but the singer Bill Kaulitz has never done a comingout but it´s very obvious where his sexuality stands imo. So it just makes me into daydreaming how it will be adorable if Louis manages his hard closeting trauma from 1D, stop targeting to het male audience and stop doing this wannabe toxic masculinity (which is totally fake ´cause like how can a soft, flamboyant and dainty gay fits into toxic masculinity anyway) and just be proudly and openly himself. IMO he doesn´t really need to do coming out, he still has F on his back to be "safe" but just wanted to share opinion that there are queer artists that are not out and we still know they are queer because they are themselves. And Louis can easily be one of them and I think it will help him to get new audience from queers.

Seeing Louis is still in Sydnes, one part of me is happy that he is is enjoying time off with his friends in Sydney because who would want to be stuck in the middle of the winter in sun-less Europe when you can be in warm sunny Australia. But second part is sad that he´s still there and not with his boy who is not with him but in London (according to some fans on twitter who witnessed him there and there last and this week). But I know they know what they are doing so guess H is busy working and Louis is just enjoying vacation and that´s why they are not together now.

Happy friday to you too, anon!

I have no knowledge about Tokio Hotel. I agree that it would be a dream if Louis managed to overcome his closet restraints and rebranded his image into something not so toxic and something closer to who he'd want to be and project without societal and label pressure. I think the whole situation is coplex. Harry is out there acting flamboyant without it hurting him, but with Louis (who is naturally flamboyant, it's not put on) it might be too much since he's not straight passing like Harry is. If Louis suddenly were percieved to be gay by the gp, larry rumours would return and all eyes would be on Harry. Sony wouldn't have that. Bg wouldn't be enough. So i think there's still pressure on L to supress his flamboyancy and it's tied to contracts, bg and Harry.

Louis is still in Australia. The sightings of H in London from random twitter accounts is an old trick they use to place him where they want him to be. I laughed when i read them, because it's too detailed and not tweeted like a fan would. There is no need for H to ride citrus fruit bikes in populated places if he's not papped or stunting. The only reason he's out there doing it is for promo, and for it to be promo he must be papped. So pics or it didn’t happen. It just made me even more sure H is in Australia with him. If H is not it's because he's working like you said. L might also be having a week off and will head back to London soon. We'll see!

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I would love to hear your thoughts on how louis engages with masculinity.

anon 2: Not the same anon, but would you like to talk about how Louis engages with masculinity? I am quite interested to hear your thoughts on it.

******

Thanks anons - that's a really interesting question that I've really enjoyed thinking about.

I've been mulling over what a useful framework for understanding msaculinity is - particularly from a point of view of how an individual might engage with it and there are two points that I want to make. The first is that I think masculinity is something more than what would currently be understood as gender presentation - masculinity is also about power. So to understand how someone engages with masculinity also involves looking at how they interact with other people and heterosexuality as an institution. The second, obvious but worth articulating point, is that every part of masculinity is culturally specific - and not in an abstract sense, but about a particular time and place and relating to the wider power relationships of that place.

By starting with how Louis self-presents and interacts with cultural signifiers that are associated with gender - we can see that the starting point is the working-class, northern English culture he grew up with. A lot of fandom discussion don't really seem to understand that relationship - and see everything which is a signifier of not liking posh things as being about gender - as if working class women don't exist. (This is a side note so I won't go fully into it - but one of the things I hate about shallow discussions of masculinity - is that they'll often equate masculinity with being working-class in a way that seems designed to erase the dangers of men with power).

I'm not going to talk specifically about fashion today, because I've talked about it before. But as he largely engages in fashion that is part of working-class culture - there is an interesting ambiguity around gender and fashion. Nobody would ever look at Louis and say 'that's feminine' or 'those are women's clothes. (Even though I think there have been a couple of times when the fashion ID suggested that they were). But if a woman or non-binary person was wearing them, people wouldn't necessarily say 'those are men's clothes'. It all comes back to men and masculinity being treated as normal - but the dynamics of streetwear are quite different from clothes that trace their history to more formal menswear traditions.

It is very obvious that as well as focusing on working-class gender performance - he also largely avoids engaging with cultural signifiers associated with feminity. My assumption here is that Louis almost certainly likes the things he says he likes and dislikes the things he says he dislikes - but he's also not sharing everything. We've no way of knowing what he engages with and doesn't share (and I think it's really important to assume that there's lots he doesn't share with us. I think it's as annoying to assume that what we see is all there is, as it is to assume that what Louis is hiding conforms to a very narrow image a particular fan has of him). But I think it's also reasonable to respond to what he presents - and he presents himself as largely not engaging with cultural signifiers associated with femininity. That's one of the things that fans are responding to. Part of my problem with responding to it is that I've had a lot of terrible takes in my inbox and it's hard not to feel like I'm somewhat responding to them. So I might just leave it there. I'll just say that I think the way to analyse this is focusing the way that seeing an absence of femininity is core to masculinity - and not demanding that an individual performs femininity for your amusement.

There is an interesting exception to this, which is slightly bigger than signifiers - and that's emotions. Louis presents himself as someone who is very in touch with his emotions and willing to be vulnerable (this is where there are some interesting cross-overs into power). I think that's interesting about him as a person, but I also think how he does it is really telling. When he talks about it, he often makes it a characteristic of men like him (saying things like - in Yorkshire we wear our hearts on his sleeve). He's not presenting himself as separate and different from other men, but instead suggesting that being in touch with emotions is fully compatible with his understanding of masculinity (I don't know how widely recognised this would be - I think it's interesting either way).

This provides quite a nice segue into power - one of the things I reacted to most strongly recently (although there's tough competition) as a description of Louis as macho - to me that suggests an aggressive and combative understanding of power and masculinity. That's not what we see Louis do - when we see him interact it isn't with a sense of hierarchy, but much more attempting to build common bonds. So much of the way Louis interacts with people appears to have elements of siblings to it. With fans, or people who he has status around - he's the big brother. But it's not just that - you see a wider attempt to make those sorts of relationships when he interacts with other people. (I'd probably have to rewatch X-factor to comment on how he interacts with people with more power and status). It's worth noting that this is really compatible with working-class northern masculinity. It's not separate from the rest, but part of it.

The relationships we mostly see Louis have are fraternal relationships - he does mostly seem to interact with men. I've talked about this in terms of discrimination and I'll continue to do so. But I think it's also worth understanding as part of his engagement with masculinity. It is part of the wider cultural context - one of the things that I really noticed when I moved to the UK is that socialising was much more gender segregated than I was used to. But mostly interacting with men is a way of engaging with masculinity.

There's an interesting flipside of this, which is that Louis doesn't seem that interested in representing women or femininity in his music (particularly not in his solo career).

That last point is connected with his (lack of) engagement with heterosexuality. I've made it clear that I don't think that Louis is very good at performing heterosexuality. And I do think that feeds into all of this - it's part of why the siblings dynamic is so strong with fans and how these different elements fit together.

I'd be really interested in other people's thoughts about all this - because there is a lot of sort of odd handwringing about Louis and masculinity - and not a lot of discription of what's going on.

[sofipitch]

Amc fandom seems to be falling into top/bottom discourse and it's so silly because i see them as switches.

Most see louis as completely top because he is a person who needs to be in control to feel safe. But I can't ignore how Louis melted into Lestat's arms during their first sexual encounter and for the first time fully surrendered to desire, even as Lestat took control, Louis felt free.

I don't know, I think both parts are necessary for Louis to be able to fully enjoy his sexuality, once he gets over his internalized homophobia.

Hmm yeah I REALLY hate top/bottom discourse. I have 0 skin in this game, I write them as switches for the simply reason it gives me more scenarios to work with in fic and I enjoy all fanfic as a result. I'll sometimes see ppl say they can't enjoy a fanfic that puts one of the characters in a sex position they don't like and, lame honestly :/

While ppl IRL will have preferences, and for some ppl those preferences will be rigid, Louis and Lestat aren't real and so far have never expressed a preference in anything. So a lot of people arguing for certain preferences are often rooted in stereotypes of "top= male, bottom = female". Additionally arguing one way or the other with the race relations intact also isn't great, there are "bad connotations" for arguing either way. Someone could say Lestat topping is a white man dominating a black man (which top =/= dominant) or arguing Louis has to be a top could be applying increased masculinity to Louis because he is black (which again, top =/= masculine). I don't agree with either of these thoughts but I also think ppl might argue based on this. So by creating this discussion in the first place ppl might be perpetuating stereotypes.

I often think back to something Chris Rice said on an "ask me anything" on his ig stories. someone asked his position, and he answered with how for years he had been assumed and semi forced into one category based on his presentation and personality and the stereotypes that come with that and it made him very uncomfortable and started to develop bad feelings over sex. He said he finally felt better when he allowed himself to choose without the restriction of expectations and just do what felt good. That ig story was a good example of how stereotypes can harm actual ppl

Bc honestly that is what determines anyone's preference, what feels good to them, not personality. Sex is about pleasure. Like you said anon, if you watch the character's movements and if Louis melted in Lestat's arms when he took control, that was about pleasure, and that's subjective to everyone. If ppl want to write Louis or Lestat in one position or the other, jut say it's what you like (bc let's be honest, lot's of these arguments are ppl just revealing a lot about themselves) or imagine, when personality gets brought in to these discussions I'm pulling out the flyswatter.

[bryant30sigmon]

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[richmond-rex]

... what exactly is the grand appeal of the House of York? For me personally, the constant online obsession with the Henry VIII and the Tudor era in general (although Henry VIII imo is rarely discussed as much as his successors) was exhausting and the Yorkists seemed like a breath of fresh air, and I still do find them very interesting, but i don't get what makes them so great in comparison to the Lancasters or Tudors?

Hi, anon! I truly wish I knew what this weird obsession with the house of York is about. I think that just like in the case of how popular history approaches Henry VIII and his wives, there's this obsessive focus on their physical appearance that is incredibly objectifying and shallow. Edward IV is treated as a 'golden boy in a golden crown' — Antonia Fraser goes so far as to talk about his 'blond [sic] good looks' as if she's never seen his extant lock of brown hair or any of his portraits — and popular historians talk about him almost as if he was a greek athlete that by the virtue of his incredible jock hot body should be king and have his awesomeness recognised. And don't be fooled, that includes tons of ableism against mental illness in the figure of Henry VI. This is from Helen Castor:

At eighteen, Edward was everything [Margaret of Anjou's] ineffectual and distracted husband was not. Unusually tall, strongly built, and jaw-droppingly handsome, he had irresistible charisma, combining easy bonhomie with an imperious will and a shrewd political brain that had been honed by early experience as his father’s trusted lieutenant.

Also, just to be clear, you open the first academic biography about Edward IV and they will tell you: Edward IV had no political experience before ascending the throne — he was simply incredibly young! He was a minor still studying in Ludlow when his father created a whole hullabaloo in England! Military experience is not the same thing as political experience and I don't know how the two can be conflated in this way if not simply to enhance some idea of awesomeness.

The mantle of kingship rested squarely on the broad shoulders of Edward of York.

I'm begging pop historians to please be fucking normal when talking about historical figures. Of course, looking masculine / performing masculinity was an important aspect of kingship but 'having a hot body' was hardly the only way a man could perform masculinity in the middle ages. Something that few people know is that chastity was regarded as supremely masculine, for example, and that was a role Edward IV himself was at pains to be cast at. It's also clear from contemporary sources that good looks weren't regarded as the end-all-be-all of kingship. The French Chronicler Philippe de Commynes treats Edward's good looks (though he says he had started losing them by 1475) almost as his fatal flaw compared to Louis XI's shrewd intelligence.

The incredible ironic thing about pop historians that focus on their subjects' physical appearance, though, is that they inevitably turn to criticise their ageing / 'loss' of good looks in the most despicable terms imaginable. It's not uncommon to see the same people who praised Edward IV for his hotness to be incredibly fatphobic towards him at the end of his life. I've seen this happen with pop historians writing about Henry VIII as well, for example, Tracy Borman. There's this almost perverse sense of enjoyment in casting a figure high only to bring them down so low.

I truly think that the fascination with the house of York is founded on this incredibly shallow basis of thirsting after Edward IV's once-hot body and his audacious hot approach to life. And his audacious hot approach to life even gets misinterpreted and transformed into something else. Yorkist fans like to talk about Edward IV as the most awesome WARRIOR KING that slew and crushed his enemies on the battlefield when academic biographers agree that he literally avoided the battlefield when he could. He had a skill for fighting but he doesn't seem to have born any love for fighting. Pollard calls him a 'knight of Venus'; Charles Ross, in his classic biography of Edward IV, says:

Still his avoidance of major schemes of foreign conquest may have been partly a matter of temperament – for he was a rare example among medieval kings of a successful commander in the field who yet had little natural taste for warfare.

Then you get Richard III fans who like to focus on his almost unparalleled sense of chivalry and 'social justice' (I've seen people literally use this term for him, a medieval ruler) but at the same time they must prove that Richard III was a good-looking young man because that matters to them just as much for some reason:

I literally wish I was kidding about all this, yet the worshipping of the glorious Y chromosome of York is a thing that exists.

[alltheselights]

Doesn't that mean Larry isn't a thing though?

First, let me note that this is something Harry and everyone around him has been saying in not so many words since November 2019, and if you were in doubt then, the music video could not have been more obvious about the intent of the song, or at least the marketing.

But to answer your question, no, it doesn’t. I feel like one of the main reasons why Harry's comments from last night would make you freak out or question your beliefs about Harry and Louis or double down in your denial about what the song is intended to be is if you've defined your existence as a Larrie around this idea that Harry is 100% a gay man who could never in a million years be attracted to a woman. And unfortunately, I think a lot of people have done that.

I feel like there has always been this very strict belief that 1) Harry hates his womanizer and fantasy boyfriend roles, that 2) he has despised and been unconvincing in every PR relationship and stunt he’s ever had, and that 3) he is not attracted to women and could never be attracted to women. And I used to fully believe all of these things too, but I feel like with time and perspective, I don’t necessarily anymore.

I think that Harry's womanizer image while in One Direction went several steps too far to the point where he and the other boys were uncomfortable with it, but there were moments where Harry had fun with it. One example is when they were doing that interview in Australia with Liam and Louis and Harry went over to snatch the woman's phone number. Eventually, however, I think it reached a level where he was disgusted and frustrated by it because it came to define him and made him seem like a bad person, which is not accurate, and at that point, he was not interested in playing along with the image they assigned him. I also think it was started at such a young age when he had no power to consent to it truly, and that was never going to be acceptable in any way.

Now that Harry has gone solo, I believe that he has significantly more control than he ever did then. He could have gone in many different directions and he has definitely embraced a more open, ambiguous image, but I think it's hard for people to admit that he's also embraced a new role as a fantasy boyfriend. It's not the same as before, as he's able to be more ambiguous about his sexuality and with his clothing, but he markets his music as being about women, he publicly dates only women, and he takes actions to appeal to the female gaze. I often see people talk about how Harry isn't trying to appeal to women because he doesn't fully embrace a stereotypically masculine look, but as I've seen discussed more and more often lately, those stereotypically masculine looks actually appeal more to the male gaze. This article talks about that. Many men think women are attracted to intimidating, uber macho men, but a lot of women are actually often attracted to men like Harry who are in touch with their feminine side. When Harry is shirtless and sweaty in a music video but also not afraid to wear feminine clothing or to talk about his feelings, that DOES appeal to women. They do find that sexy and attractive, and Harry and his team know that and they play to it when they can.

This role isn’t the only one that Harry embraces now that he's solo, but it is something that he and his team have chosen to do. After so many years of us defending Harry against a womanizer image that took things way too far at a young age while Harry was still figuring himself out, that can be a tough pill to swallow. However, we have to realize that both things can exist in the same universe. Harry can have been uncomfortable with where the womanizer image that he was given at age 16 when he had little power to change it and also choose to embrace a kind of fantasy boyfriend role now that he's a solo artist, older, more comfortable with his sexuality, and able to make decisions for himself. He can take control of a narrative that previously harmed him and use it to benefit him and to sell more music, more merch, and more tickets.

When Harry stunts with women, even when he's very convincing (like with Kendall on the yacht when she was laying on top of him and kissing him, or with Olivia on the yacht recently where they were dancing and kissing), you see people claim that it's a "gay yacht" or that he seems miserable even when he doesn't. Do I believe both are absolutely PR relationships and not genuine? Yes. Do I believe that Harry acted convincingly as someone interested in women in both instances? Yes. I think part of the reason why yachtgate with Kendall was so upsetting to me at the time because even though I never believed it was genuine, it LOOKED genuine, and I’d never thought Harry could pull that off. I think part of the reason why the Olivia yacht stuff didn’t bother me at all is because at this point, I do believe Harry can convincingly appear to be interested in women, even if he’s also interested in men, and so when he did, I was fine with it and didn’t feel threatened by it. It’s the same thing with Harry’s acting in DWD where a lot of Larries tried to claim he was unconvincing after seeing a two second clip of him making out with a woman. I thought he looked fine, as did most of the random people who watched that clip, and it did not threaten my beliefs about Harry because I recognize that he can be convincing in heterosexual roles and it doesn’t impact whether he likes men or not or whether he’s in a relationship with Louis or not.

Now don’t get me wrong - I don’t think he’s convincing in every instance, not even in every instance with Olivia or Kendall, but I’m just saying that I think he can play the role with them when he wants to. I don’t think he appeared uncomfortable in either instance. And I think when you admit that and acknowledge it, it’s easier to be a fan because you’re not living in denial and trying to act like Harry is DISGUSTED by these women and could never in a million years convince anyone he’s attracted to them, or attracted to women in general.

I don’t know if Harry is attracted to women, but based on his behavior and the types of things he writes in recent years, I do believe that it’s a possibility. I know I’m in the minority on that, just as I am with most of my beliefs, but even if people don’t agree with me, I feel like it’s really important that people realize that your existence as a Larrie should not be so rooted in Harry only liking men that your theories are all threatened or you’re enraged by a comment about a song being about female orgasms when they’ve been clear about that since day one. Harry can like women and still like men. Harry can like women and still be with Louis. Harry can write a sexual song about women and still like men. Harry can write a sexual song about women with numerous co-writers and still be with Louis. These things are not mutually exclusive, and when you treat them like they are, that’s when the denial starts and that’s when people start getting angry and upset with Harry over something that is not a big deal.

[bleedinglovehes]

liam payne sucks tbh

This compilation is for my dear friend, who goaded me into making a comprehensive list of every time Liam Payne has been openly homophobic in the past ten years, with a couple of bonuses at the end! Because he has been. A lot. He’s displayed his privilege and offended LGBTQ+ people on multiple occasions and shows no signs of even attempting to educate himself or empathize with those his words have hurt. On that note, let us begin this journey.

Let’s start with the obvious, shall we? The infamous Duck Dynasty's Family Values tweet. Anyone who’s been in the One Direction fandom should be able to easily recall the incident, but I’ll break it down for you. On January 18th Liam tweeted about how he loved the “family values” on Duck Dynasty. By that time, it was know that the family was openly homophobic. Just one month prior, in December 2013, the families patriarch (Phil Robertson) was suspended from the show following homophobic remarks that received backlash. (He compared homosexuality to beastiality).Liam immediately received backlash for the tweet, for good reason, so later that day he took to twitter to claim that “Being a fan of someones show and the way they still hold a family together doesn't mean i am ok with all they say”. (https://twitter.com/LiamPayne/status/424679109634314240) That was his “apology”. Now, Liam’s association with the Robertson’s did not end there. 8 months later he posted a happy birthday message from Willie Robertson (Phil’s son) on his instagram. Though his interacting with the Robertsons had upset many LGBT+ people, Liam continued to openly support the family.The very next month he, and close friend Andy Samuels (pay attention to that name, we’ll reference it later) went shooting in Louisiana with the family. Andy and Willie Robertson’s sister in law both posted about the event at the time, but the posts have since been deleted.

Now if you were one of the delusional people still convinced of Liam’s membership in the LGBT+ community, you may find lot’s of faults in my logic. Him supporting a family sticking together doesn’t mean he shares their homophobic values, and you’re right, to an extent. But a queer person would not be so careless. Liam is displaying his privilege as a straight white man by ignoring the disgusting homophobia displayed by the patriarch, and likely shared by his sons and grandchildren. So, with that incident we have, at the very least, hopefully shown the audience Liam’s blatant ignorance when it comes to the LGBT community.

Let’s continue. 2014 was the start of a startling trend of tasteless comments Mr. I-Used-To-Be-In-1D-Now-I’m-Free has made in relation to the community. In August of 2015, Liam said that Girl Almighty (a One Direction song he wrote on) is about "trying to find that number one woman of your life” which would have been fine, except he went on to say that “none of [the fans] can relate to, because most of you are girls. Except for the boys in here, you know what I'm talking about." Almost immediately, his remarks were under fire for being too heteronormative, and he was accused of being homophobic. Instead of using the incident as a learning experience, Liam took to twitter to first clarify he is “in no way shape or form homophobic that's a ridicules thing to say and I'm not here to offend people so take it as you will”. Essentially, rather than apologize to every LGBT girl at the show, he decided to say since he’s not homophobic the comments weren’t offensive. He went on in another tweet and called the statement that deeply offended his non straight female fans “throwaway”. All I can gather from his little twitter tirade is that Liam was upset that his “throwaway” comment hurt LGBT people and that those people would not let it go. He finished by tweeting “crap end to a good day”, blaming the backlash rather than his own ignorant comment. All of the tweets are still on twitter and a quick search will bring them up for you.

2015 was a big year for Liam in terms of casual homophobia, and just one month after the Girl Almighty Incident, he was back at it again with… The Pride Flag Incident. Now, to provide some background, pride flags started making appearances at the shows in large numbers thanks to The Rainbow Project. The project was started to promote a safe space for LGBTQ+ fans. It garnered a lot of attention and the starters of the project clarified several times that it had nothing to do with the infamous “Larry” ship, which I will not discuss as frankly it’s not relevant to my main point. So a month before the Pride Flag Incident The Rainbow Project was getting attention from the media. Anyone who took two seconds to research the project and motivation behind it would know that it was only to support queer fans.

Okay but seriously, the Pride Flag Incident was a big deal. Let me explain. In the summer of 2015, gay marriage was legalized in the US. LGBTQ Americans were absolutely thrilled, for good reason, and pride flags were seen in abundance. So here’s what happened. Liam was interviewed by Attitude, a UK gay magazine. Now he started off alright, claiming that he found it, “funny that being gay is still something that’s talked about as though it’s not natural”. The use of the term “funny” is… troublesome for me, but that’s not the issue with the article. It’s his next statements that, once again, show his ignorance. He talked about there being an increase in rainbow flags at One Direction shows following the legalization of gay marriage. He made the correct point and he should've stopped there. Unfortunately, he continued, saying “I think that was mainly because people think of the Louis and Harry thing, which is absolutely nuts and drives me insane.” Once again he ignored the huge queer fanbase One Direction had amassed at that point and was subject to backlash. He, once again, took to twitter and, once again, stood by his ignorant comments rather than make a real apology. I won’t bring up Harry. I won’t bring up Harry. I won’t bring up Harry. I won’t bring up Harry… ok fine I have to. Harry actually waved a pride flag at the next concert they had. AKA, the one right after Liam’s comments were made public. Harry was, according to Liam, one of the people being disrespected by the pride flags.

I’m sensing a trend here. Liam makes an ignorant comment that offends people, Liam goes on twitter and stands by the ignorant comments, Liam claims people offended are in the wrong. Moving on, I'm honestly not sure what Liam did in 2016. I think that’s when Strip That Down was released. Anyways he only offended…. every one direction stan with that.

2017 though, that one was big. That’s when Liam made The Clothing Comments. So in May he was on the radio, probably promoting something, and was asked which members of One Direction he would let watch his child. He said that he’d pick Louis, because he’s a dad, and that neither Harry nor Niall made the cut. The issue? His reasoning behind why Harry wasn’t a suitable babysitter was that, “I couldn’t rely on Harry because I feel that my child would come out dressed in something that I just wouldn’t understand”. Yet. Another. Ignorant. Comment. Harry had, beginning in 2014 and continuing to 2020, been dressing in a non traditionally masculine way. 2014 had him sporting pussy bow blouses while 2020 has gifted us with a lace jumpsuit equipped with matching lace gloves. Now, therein lays the issue with his comment. Harry doesn’t dress in a traditionally masculine way. That was apparent in 2017. That’s what Liam had an issue with. Also, Liam has been making comments about Harry’s fashion sense on a semi consistent basis since that article dropped so… yea.

2018’s… incident… is almost funny to me because once again Liam display’s absolute ignorance when it comes to the LGBT community. It began with Liam taking place in Adidas’s Prouder campaign in June. It was sponsored by a bunch of celebrities and an article was released where each gave a quote about what makes them proud, obviously in relation to Pride. When Liam was asked the question he answered “I think since I’ve had a little boy, everything changes in life. ‘I’m aiming more for him to be prouder of me, and already he’s making me a better man, which I think is incredible.’” He did not reference the community he was supposedly supporting. He received immense backlash for his “straight pride” comments on twitter and gay news outlet Pink News.All in all it was just insensitive. He was dragged on twitter for not knowing the meaning of pride and the movement he was supporting.That’s not where the incident ended though. On July 7th London hosted the annual Pride Parade, that I’ve heard Liam promised to attend. I do not have receipts for this, so my next point may seem a little weak at first, but stay with me. Instead of attending the event, Liam attended a Dolce and Gabbana fashion show. Why might that be an issue? Well, since 2015, the fashion label has been called homophobic after two directors made insensitive comments about same sex parenting. So, if you don’t believe he promised to attend the show, the fact that he attended a show for a homophobic brand should upset you.In fact, Liam has shown no indication of distancing from the brand. In contrast, Harry has only been seen wearing Dolce and Gabbana once since the comments were made. (Performing on the Jimmy Kimmel show in Nov. 2015). Liam has worn D&G several times in the years since the comments were made.

2019 was a bad year for Liam, and not just because he took Zayn, Harry, and Niall’s number ones and slapped them together to debut at #111 on the Billboard Hot 100. In July he was paid by the Saudi Regime to perform in Saudi Arabia. The issue? In Saudi Arabia being gay is a crime and women’s rights activists are jailed. Nicki Minaj was also set to perform at the festival but backed out due to the Saudi Regime’s blatant homophobia and sexism. Once again he displayed his ignorance and privilege. He’s not queer, he’s not a woman. So he accepted the money and performed. Now I know he had fans there excited to see him, but he made the wrong choice. He should’ve backed out and not accepted any money from the Saudi Regime. July was just not a good month for Liam.So he was asked whether or not he planned to vote in the election. His response? “I think I will vote but I am always out of the country. We need a mobile app where we can vote with our thumbprint or something. I mean, in regards to Boris or Jeremy, I don’t think we give people enough time. Same with West Brom football club. They always change their manager every week it seems and we never get time to gel with anybody.” He’s just so ignorant. As a rich white straight man, the election had no effect on him. He seemed to indicate a preference for Boris Johnson, a racist sexist homophobe. December was by far his worst though. So his debut album, LP1, dropped at the beginning of the month. Immediately, Liam was attacked for his fetishization of bisexual woman, seen in the song “Both Ways”. It’s just disgusting, and made worse by his history with the LGBTQ community. A straight man singing about how hot it is that his girlfriend likes girls is just… so bad. That whole incident speaks for itself in my opinion. That brings us to the reappearance of his comments about Harry’s clothing. He claimed that “I couldn’t put myself in that. I’d look fucking… It’d look weird.” Now, has anyone seen what Liam has worn over the years? Liam’s issue is that the Met Gala look was feminine. He’s claimed to be the antichrist version of Harry, and you know what? I see it. He’s a straight man uncomfortable with men wearing feminine clothing and gay people in general. Harry is a queer man who thrives in feminine styled or women’s clothing. They really are opposites.

So what have I established? A pattern of ignorance that have hurt LGBT people on multiple occasions. Now, ignorance does not equate homophobia, so here’s how we know. Remember his friend Andy Samuels? Well he’s been openly homophobic (and sexist) on his social media. He’s been friends with Liam for over a decade. Remember when Harry made his iconic “not that important” comment? Liam’s reaction is… troublesome. He does a short laugh, and then glances off camera with an uncomfortable look on his face. Take from that what you will. There are UNCONFIRMED rumors of Liam using homophobic language backstage at One Direction concerts. Like with his reaction to Harry’s “not that important'' comment, there is no proof, but, based on his other actions, I am inclined to believe it happened. So there you have it. Liam’s history of ignorance. Homophobia is defined as a “dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people”. I think it’s safe to say that applies to Liam. He’s uncomfortable with feminine styled men, supports homophobes (The Duck Dynasty family, Dolce and Gabbana, Boris Johnson), and makes ignorant comments that are extremely offensive to LGBTQ people. He may not go around screaming slurs, but he is homophobic. He’s the type of homophobic person who claims not to be because he knows a gay person. Who claims the pattern of ignorance is simply the fault of the one getting offended. That’s who Liam Payne is. Look, you don’t have to agree that he’s homophobic, but you have to agree that he’s ignorant and refuses to get educated. And you have to admit that there is no way he’s LGBT. There is no way anyone could orchestrate a smear campaign that relied on so many casually ignorant statements and incidences.

This post was not my fault. Really. It’s wasn’t. It’s actually my friend’s fault. She told me that there were people on tumblr who actually believe Liam Payne is LGBTQ+. Shocking, I know. She also said that some people were comparing the experiences of Liam, a straight man, to Harry, his queer former bandmate. Which, no? And because I am so sure people will deny everything I have presented, a link to a google doc with links to each article and tweet I referenced has been included. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1i2lWQPr0oQeA_MYLdkmp6G19waj9KSYaQgcBek8O2OE/edit?usp=sharing

[thestylesindependent]

The following is an excerpt from A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends: Meme-Worthy Celebrity Crushes From A to Z (Running Press) by Esther Zuckerman, senior entertainment writer at Thrillist. Opinions expressed are those of the author.

It’s virtually impossible to dig into the history of celebrity crushes without discussing boy bands. Stemming back to the days of the Beatles, boy bands have been crush incubators, known as much for their music as for their ability to pose on posters that hang on teenage bedroom walls. While the modern idea of boy bands existed before the ’90s, the decade turned boy bands into an industry with the likes of Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC eliciting mobs of screaming fans. For the first decade of the 2000s—after the leftovers from the ’90s faded from relevance—it seemed like the era of the boy band was over. And then a couple of lads from England—and one from Ireland—came along.

One Direction was not born organically. Each member of the fivesome auditioned for The X Factor as a solo act. Then Simon Cowell had a genius idea: Individually, they would probably generate some amount of buzz. Together, they would be unstoppable. Cowell was right. One Direction mania jumped across the pond and initiated a new era of boy band worship. This group was different from its ’90s predecessors. They were shaggy and didn’t really dance. But their fans were also different. These were kids raised by the internet, and they expressed their love for Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, and Niall Horan as such. Stanning for One Direction involved slash fiction and Tumblr.

But when the time came, One Direction faced an age-old boy band question: What happens when they break up? Who becomes famous? For years, the pinnacle of post–boy band success had always been Justin Timberlake, crying a river all over the radio. (He also found controversy along the way. No, we will never forgive him for throwing Janet Jackson under the bus at the Super Bowl.) But who becomes the Joey Fatone? One thing was always certain: Harry Styles was a goddamn star. Styles had always been the likeliest candidate for post-One D fame. He was the most rambunctious of the group, as at home palling around on talk shows as he was crooning on the stage.

Still, no one could have predicted what he was about to unleash. Styles, on his own, somehow surpassed the prom¬ise of his early career. The individual that emerged was like the love child of David Bowie and Stevie Nicks, all flowing blouses, wide-legged pants, and funky vibes. He occupies a space in between the masculine and the feminine and is an ally without being obnoxious about it.

When he left the womb of One Direction, his goal was to write his own material. The sound that emerged was not Timberlake’s white boy soul or the radio-ready pop of his bandmate Zayn Malik. Instead, it was a throwback hybrid of folk rock and pop—not a complete copy of an era that was not his own, but more indebted to his predecessors than his contemporaries.

The narrative around Harry Styles is that he is a Very Good Boy. It starts with his devotion to his mother, with whom he is reportedly very close. More proof of his sweet¬heart status can be found in the story about how he ended up being a polite houseguest to his friend The Late Late Show with James Corden producer Ben Winston for twenty months. As his star was rising in One Direction, he was crashing with an Orthodox Jewish family. “That period of time, he was living with us in the most mundane suburban situation,” Winston once explained. “No one ever found out, really. Even when we went out for a meal, it’s such a sweet family neighborhood, no one dreamed it was actually him. But he made our house a home. And when he moved out, we were gutted.”

It’s anecdotes like this—revealed in the singer’s first Rolling Stone cover story, written by none other than Almost Famous director Cameron Crowe—that frame Styles as a superstar who is relatively down to earth, a nice person who cares about being good to those around him. I mean, one of the songs on his recent album Fine Line is titled “Treat People with Kindness.” Styles once said: “There are others. People who are successful, and still nice. It’s when you meet the people who are successful and aren’t nice, you think: What’s yer excuse? Cos I’ve met the other sort.”

Styles gives off the impression that if you were to hang out with him you’d probably have a pretty pleasant and slightly wild time. Profiles of Styles tend to include stories about parties on beaches where nudity or clothes swapping is involved. He’s spoken about how doing mushrooms influenced his latest record, Fine Line, and once led him to bite off the tip of his tongue. But even though that detail sounds like it might belong in an outtake from a seedier history of rock ’n’ roll—think: Mötley Crüe—it’s bizarrely wholesome coming from Styles, who has gone out of his way to promote a message of inclusion.

Though he’s publicly only been linked to women, he’s never exactly declared himself straight, either, and has alluded to bisexuality in his lyrics. One time, he declared, “We’re all a little bit gay, aren’t we?” Regardless of how he himself identifies, he’s made it a mission to promote a safe-for-all environment at his shows. On one tour stop, he took note of a girl in the crowd’s sign which declared she was going to come out to her parents because of him. He asked her mom’s name, quieted the room, and shouted, “Tina, she’s gay,” triumphantly. It’s an especially welcome development for someone whose early celebrity was defined by slash fiction with which some of his bandmates were openly uncomfortable.

His style started to evolve with his own fluidity as well. He took to wearing ruffles and low-cut shirts with wide-legged trousers. The effect was circus ringmaster mixed with ’70s Laurel Canyon chic. There’s a cheekiness to the look, evidenced by photo shoots in which he affects like he just told a dirty joke. He has said he dresses this way not because he’s trying to allude to anything, just because he thinks it looks cool. And, the thing is, it does.

Harry Styles may have been made in the confines of the boy band universe, but when he struck out on his own, his message became freedom. He makes the music he wants, wears the clothes he wants, and encourages everyone around him to love who they want—even if that’s just Harry Styles.

[alarrytale]

It´s the anon who send you the blog link first asking for that larry denial by H.

I mean first thing nobody probably ever realize is that anyone can´t say "yes, larry is real but shhhh don´t tell anyone, it´s a secret" like what are everyone expecting as an answer to that question? Nobody will confirm it for multiple reasons we, larries, well know why and if anything, it will out them both, simple as it is. I wrote this point as a reaction for that ask but it´s not a larrie blog and not even open to larry so the answer to was that H never directly denied it but this time he supposedly denied it and that´s why that fan unlarried and disappeared. And of course the discussion (read more asks reacting to mine) went straight to how Louis denied larry multiple times and larries are lunatics who don´t believe him eventho he said it and said he´s straight, other anon said how larries ruined their cute friendship (classic one) and the person running that blog even said that they thought that Louis having a kid will make larries stop believing but they still believe it. So I left this blog because curate your fandom experience. So the final conclusion to this theme is that it´s not true?

And my addition to anon who wrote about being in a queer community and being the only one who believes H is queer. I came to this fandom as a solo het harrie who thought the same - he´s doing it only for attention, he has balls to wear extravagant and feminine clothes but he´s straight because he dated famous women only. What made me change my mind is literally digging into his queercoding, into his past actions (i mean baby boyfriends era when he was so obviously in love with Louis, hello?), him visiting gay club in like 2012, him saying how he´s open with his sexuality to his family and close friends, him obviously reading MP on Feb 2020 when nobody knew what will come next month and next year doing everything to get the role of Tom Burgess, him singing about poppers and aknowledging it, his gay stylist calling him Sue/Angel Sue and H calling him like that as well. Or the whole chapter called rainbow bears, hello!!! And I can continue. You don´t even need to go that deep under the surface and just look at his neck wearing feminine pearly necklace and bananad*ck for years (and it´s still there when you zoom the latest pap shots, yay!) like no straight man would do that so yes, that´s queercoding as well and it´s not part of the costumes. So I think it´s way too easy to just say he´s doing it all for attention and you just have to be openminded and just go under the surface and look for all those evidence. Just like I did last year and it took me like 2 months of exploring it all. It´s just sad that most queers don´t recognize him as queer but guess that´s the result of years of gaslighting and him being deep in his closet which means it works. But I still think most people noticed him only recently (2019-2022) and so they just don´t have any idea that he´s been like that since he was 16 because it´s been way too long ago.

Hi, anon!

Harry has never denied larry (if you're not counting the sunrise interview). Louis has done it plenty of times (none of it convincingly).

I agree with you that if people actually look into H they'll come to understand that he's gay and not queerbaiting, nor breaking down toxic masculinity. He's queercoding because he's gay. It might take a bit of research to come to understand that he's gay. Casual fans might not look up the video diaries where he's drooling over Louis or read his magazine interviews. So they'll continue to assume he's straight. As long as the tabloids cover his PR/bearding relationships and he has two different personalities on and off stage, they wont have a clue.