#flare yatters

[flarefloofer]

Y'know what? I want to know where the books that take place in 2025. The ones where the teenage protagonists were born in 2010.

I want contemporary fantasy where the hero is training undercover throughout covid. I want popular media references made.

While I don't exactly want people referred to as "alphas" or "skibbidi", I want to see more slang that we use day by day. I read Of Mice and Men recently and it was chock-full of slang back in the 1930s.

Right now, Rick Riordan is as close as we get in the popular media (even then, Percy was born in 1993), and most standalones I read have protagonists that today would be in their 20s or 30s.

Give me something that reflects how teenagers act right now. Childhood memories with phones, having cromebooks in school, Snapping their friends, hidden eastereggs with memes, etc.

Heck, give me some tumblr nonsense in a fantasy novel lol

[dinoflooof]

*making a whole new blog for my specific hyperfixation in order to actual refind the posts*

...

*losing the epic post about snake ribs and plant roots among the minorly science-related memes*

[flarefloofer]

Part of it too is that if the reveal is big enough, it gives your brain that dopamine of "OMG I FIGURED IT OUT I WAS RIGHT :OOO"

Which, in my opinion, is the best part of foreshadowed plot twists

that some people respond to any well-foreshadowed reveal with “ugh that plot twist was so predictable” proves bad faith criticism has rotted their brains to the point they think it’s bad writing if they can correctly identify information the writers were intentionally giving them

[flarefloofer]

If Odysseus went to court...

His charges, (going off the logic that he to blame for everyone dying):

3 reports of Assault (Cyclops, Circe, Poseiden)

Several counts of theft (Cyclops, Apollo's cattle, likely more cases that went unreported)

7 counts of manslaughter (Cyclops'd, Elpenor)

At least 114 cases of 1st degree murder (Scylla'd, the Suitors)

At least 587 cases of 2nd degree murder (Wall'd, Poseiden'd, Zeus'd)

At least 1 instance of Substanse abuse (Holy moly)

Top tier trickery (Too many instances to count, such as the Trojan Horse and Nobody ploys.)

________________________________________

Keep in mind, this is not counting the sirens or any lost during the visit to the underworld. The events mentioned are from Epic the Musical, with some inspiration from the Odyssey (6 men died during cyclops attack in Odyssey and then Elpenor's little roof incident)

This only reason the infant is 2nd degree murder is because it was a "spur of the moment" decision made under duress, considering it wasn't preplanned. The suitors we'll call 1st degree through, since in the Odyssey he stuck around as a beggar for a while to access the situation.

Oh, but hey, if you're defending him in court, just call it all self-defense and I'm sure your client will be released with a little persuasion.

[dinoflooof]

am I an actual dino nerd?

nah

I miss the little details. Forget facts. And I couldn't care less about popular media with dinosaurs in it more than half the time.

but that doesn't make them any less fascinating.

[unicromx8]

     His remaining wing flares out and shoves the tiny shred of his alternate into his Herald’s servos. 

     ( Eat this. )

     “Uh... thanks? I’d... rather not. Still not huge on the eating thing.”

     ( Get over it. You’re a Herald of Unicron, eat what your Liege gives you. )

     “But, like, where’d it come froMMMFFPH--”

     Unique and One, clearly unimpressed, reaches over to his Herald to shove the chunk of golden metal into his open mouth. That yattering mouth is held closed, a thumb rubbing at the crest of a throat, until he finally feels it bob.

      “... y’know, actually, that kinda wasn’t bad. Where’d you get that from?”

     Silence answers him, echoed in Unicron’s pedesteps as he walks away. Apparently, he’s not going to get a response this time. 

      The Herald huffs and, consideringly, licks his own arm. 

[flarefloofer]

they should. yes.

especially with soup.

it's probably healthier than a hamburger-

rice is the perfect food and westerners should eat more of it i'm so serious

[flarefloofer]

what if...

what if I just

create the most hideous amalgamation of everything you want to avoid in writing with every single cliche, terrible line, and a setting that drives people absolutely bonkers

and then right after release the sequel that is the literal definition of glory.

I'll make them confused. I'll make them horrified. I shall be judged but I shall be judged on my own terms.

[qdesjardin]

As the accompanied children cross through the gate, light glimmers from the landscape of living crystals. A civilization of Gnomes and Elves – like ants, they are seen walking along the branches, or in some places, gathering to see the children from afar.

Some of the crystal clusters would split away, with each separate globules flying off to service a different existing cluster, or to reform entirely in another place.

Service Gnomes skid between the clusters on web-like rails – escorting freight cargo.

The Conductor leads the children to a very large platform inside a tower. Not everyone will fit at once, so the ones behind get to watch the process where the Conductor rolls his hand through a watery control device, and a bubble is formed, lifting those on the platform up in zero gravity, and carrying them afloat to one of many huge connecting tubes – they stretch from the diameter of the snow globe to the very centre.

Utena glances at the bubbles and all the children who float around in them. She thinks she sees a girl who looks like a young version of herself, spinning around and colliding with other kids.

In her head, imagery flares up – the roses she was lined up with in the coffin, the cruel starkness of glancing at her parents' graves. Crying miserably to herself every night in the foster care place, alone, and when the figure skating programmes come on TV, she feels a pang in her heart – would she find Spike Spiegel again, enrapturing her world with total delight?

There has to be another time.. I want to see him again, watch him dance again, hear every single word out of his mouth like silk again.

I can't bear the painful reality of being alone.

I don't want to be alone anymore..

So she ran away, when it was supposedly lights out, and everyone was supposded to be asleep in their cots. She'd looked up someone in the phone book whose was listed as Spiegel, S. – listed with the address. And that could just be him – she tried calling the number, using her one free phone call privilege, only to be met with an answering machine message: "Hi, you've reached the Spiegels. We're sorry we can't reach you at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message, yatter away!"

[flarefloofer]

Princess and the assassin but the princess used to be a commoner before being claimed by the king and no one has ever sent an assassin after her until now the assassin doesn't kill her because he's dead first not because of the "kindness" of his heart- he's actually taken out by her guard first and the princess gets mad at her guard because she thinks that she can relate and talk to the assassins A mysterious person keeps sending more assassins after her and she and her guard eventually have to leave the capital for her safety (despite her protests) and they have an entire enemies-to-lovers arc because he's bound to her orders but he keep DISOBEYING THEM BECAUSE HE CANT LET THE FREAKING PRINCESS DIE.

bonus points for gender swap and he have silly prince and his over-with-it personal guard who starts to wonder if it's just him or all guys who are this naive

[flarefloofer]

I am now three hours into research about how canned goods are processed and then it never becomes relevent in my wip.

you can take a quick pause from writing to fact-check something on the internet. but watch out

[flarefloofer]

guys im doing it im sitting down and writing

its a miracle

[flarefloofer]

Reading up about the dire wolves rn and everyone keeps referencing Jurassic Park and saying “what could go wrong?!” sarcastically.

I feel like people need to remember,

ITS A FILM.

It’s fake. Made up. The dinosaurs in it aren’t even scientifically accurate, just shrink wrapped versions used for popular media.

And then second of all, is it really a concern?? We live on fucking planet Earth, we have poisonous frogs and elephants and whales and jellyfish and massive cats

Why are we worried about direwolves when we already have wolves? Direwolves, that, are in a wildlife reserve that’s 100% not just near some big city and have enrichment.

One of Jurassic Park’s issues was that it was a THEME PARK. The dinosaurs were in small cages with nothing to do. Pent up, hungry, trapped. I mean, wouldn’t you want to be free?

But these direwolves are in acres upon acres of land with toys and caretakers away from civilians.

Yall use some logic here before freaking out and claiming “Jurassic park is really happening oh no we should all be terrified of these scientists”

Maybe focus on the benefits of bringing back species diversity?? They’ve got teeth just like any other animal, we get it.

[flarefloofer]

No but this is the exact same when drawing-

I'm sitting in math doodling in my math book and suddenly i have the most wicked expression I can muster as I sketch this one character-

Anybody else make the expressions of their characters when they're writing? If somebody grimaces, I'm grimacing with them.

[flarefloofer]

Something I just realized is that I avoid second-hand embarrassment like the plague

But some of my favorite media has a bunch of it because it makes it interesting- it gives the reader something to feel, even if it's the squirmy "aaaaaaa what the heck whyyyyyy duuudeee stoppp" kind of feeling lmao

Another reminder to everyone (including myself 😭) not to worry about if your story is "cringe" because Uh Cringe is good I guess? I kind of lost the plot here didnt i whoops

[flarefloofer]

I like to think that Scylla has facial recognition and can recognize any sailor that comes through her lair a second time.

Specifically, if anyone did what Odysseus did and sacrificed some men, she’ll let them pass peacefully the second time.

Like- “you’re the man who brought treats 6 years ago! You had snackies last time! Hello!!”

And then she roots around the ship to sniff out any sacrifices and if there aren’t any she pouts to see if snack man hands his men any torches out of pity for her puppy eyes