#flirting is hard

[rj-opp]

Your honor objection!...They are both oblivious

[baskingsol]

Problem Club

pairing: eventual!OC x Geto Suguru x Gojo Satoru

summary: A dinner begins with the three idiots learning more about each other.

“Ah Ms. Yokai, dining with us tonight?” A small, older woman greets Yami at the entrance to a small-looking restaurant. 

“Wouldn’t ever go anywhere else Kobayashi-san,” Yami laughs. “Brought some guests too.”

“Oh!” Kobayashi says, glancing at the two men behind Yami. “The regular seating tonight?”

“If you could,” Yami replies. “Wouldn’t want to be a bother to any other patrons.”

“Oh nonsense!” The woman waves to Yami and the men follow her further into the restaurant. “As if I’d stoop to put someone else in your room.”

“Your room?” Suguru chuckles, admiring the painted shoji doors used as dividers between tables. 

Kobayashi shoots Yami a smirk, stopping in front of a pair of shoji doors set into the wall. 

“It should be all set for you already. I’ll send the new boy in to take orders in a bit. He could use a good scare, hasn’t been listening to Itamae.”

“I’ll be nice, Kobyashi-san.” Yami laughs, shaking her head. “Thank you.”

Kobayashi smiles warmly at the men before walking away and into a door labeled “Kitchen”.

“Frequent this place enough for them to save you a personal room?” Satoru teases, following Yami and Suguru into the room. 

Beyond the shoji doors lays a simple eating setup. Tatami floors with a single table in the middle of the room with four cushions for seats. Menus and glasses of water are already placed neatly on the table. 

“Old friends, so they always keep a place open for me,” Yami replies, plopping down into one of the cushions around the table. “Gotta have some privacy so I can eat in peace.”

“How old?” Suguru asks, sitting down at the table opposite Yami. “I assumed there weren’t many people that knew of you.”

“There isn’t. But old connections often are lost in the records of jujutsu society, especially those not concerning the main clans,” Yami snorts, unclipping and placing her mask down on the table. “Our families have been close since at least the Edo period.”

“Edo period?” Satoru interrupts, flopping down into the seat next to Suguru. “I didn’t think you were thousands of years old. You definitely don’t look old enough.”

“I’m not, idiot.” Yami laughs. “Our family alliance has just been that old.”

“Alliance?” Suguru adds.

“How much do you know of the story of Kuchisake-onna?” Yami asks, eyes flicking between the two men, arms relaxed above her head. 

“She was some ghost story our grandparents had told my parents to scare them when they were young,” Suguru chuckled as Satoru shrugged. “A warning about stranger danger or something.”

“Her story is much older and more complex than that,” Yami smiles. “Kuchisake-onna was a beautiful woman living here in Tokyo, previously called Edo in the Edo period. She was married to a samurai during the Tokugawa shogunate. Her husband was restless, enjoying the perks that came with his new high rank in society, fearing his wife was doing the same while he was away with other women. So one night in a drunken rage, he decided to make sure she would be unwanted by maiming her to be as undesirable as possible, slitting her face open.”

The two men sit silently, taking in the story as Yami continues. 

“Strong emotions are what spawn cursed spirits and with all the emotions during that night, when she died from her wounds, she became a cursed vengeful spirit, leading to the warnings to kids from parents to avoid ‘The Slit Mouth Woman’.”

“So how did she end up with you?” Satoru asks, breaking his silence. “Most cursed spirits aren't willing to bind to people without a contract.”

“That's true. Yuta and Rika have a binding vow that keeps them together. I have a vow with Kuchisake-onna, just differently than Yuta’s obviously.” Yami explains, rubbing her cut cheek. “When Kuchisake-onna died that night, she cursed her husband for what he’d done, a curse that has lasted through their bloodline. Any men born were born weak, crippled, or dead. The women though were born normal, but once every couple of generations there would be one that Kuchisake-onna would come back to protect, acting as if they were her daughter. Once the family caught on that Kuchisake would choose a host, they would cut the girl’s face to match. To honor her.” Yami spat out the last few words with a scowl. 

“Like a cult to worship her,” Suguru murmured, face blank as his mind wanders to years before. 

“Not much of a cult anymore,” Yami’s scowl twists into a smirk. “Kuchisake-onna doesn't take kindly to people maiming her kids.”

At that Satoru barks out a laugh, startling the other two. 

“So in their way to worship her, they only sealed their doom,” Satoru laughs again. “Oh, that's really good.”

“Satoru!” Suguru scolds, a vein popping in his neck. “I’m sorry for him Yami. He doesn't know how to act sometimes.”

“Oh it’s all fine,” Yami smiles at the black-haired man. “At least he's lightened the mood. After all that, Kobayashi-san took care of me and sent me to Yuki once I was old enough to start getting a handle on everything. I imagine Yaga was sent to find you (points lazily at Suguru) and he was shoved into the school by his family (points at Satoru who is just barely containing his laughter).”

“Oh yeah you should have seen him when he was brought to school,” Suguru chuckles, rubbing his hands together. “All holier than thou kid that needed a reality check.”

“You weren't any better!” Satoru teases back, poking Suguru’s bun. “You and Nanamin basically could have started a band with how much emo gunk you two were putting off. Didn’t grow out of it either.”

Suguru turns to scold the blue-eyed man, but stops shortly as a boy steps in through the shoji doors, holding a pad of paper. 

“Uh hello, My name is Daichi and I’ll be …” The boy starts listing off, stopping suddenly as his eyes widen at Yami’s wide smile aimed at him, flicking between the two men and her face. 

“Staring’s rude y’know,” Yami teases, Daichi’s face turning very red. “Kobayashi-san should have taught you better manners than that.”

“My apologies. Kobayashi-sama didn’t inform me we were having such an important client here today,” Daichi half-bows swiftly.

“Oh, she’s just scaring you,” Yami laughs, waving the boy up from his bow. “I’ll take two plates of the gyoza and a glass of soju, tell Itamae to make them extra crispy.”

“I’ll get the soba and a coke,” Suguru smiles warmly at the now less-nervous boy carefully writing down their orders. 

“Curry for me, and a sprite.” Satoru chimes in, scaring the boy all over again.

Daichi quickly scribbles down the order, awkwardly bowing again to Yami, and rushes out of the room. 

“God you’d think kids these days would have some manners!” Satoru faux-scoffs, grabbing at Yami’s mask. “This is much more scary than the real thing.”

“Is that a compliment from the oh-so-great Satoru Gojo?” Suguru teases, smirking at Yami. “Who would have thought you’d have it in you?”

“And so blatant too. I would think you’d have more shame.” Yami laughs, earning an eye-roll from Suguru and a huff from Satoru. 

"A man can't even compliment a pretty woman these days," Satoru pouts, tossing Yami back her mask. "Yeah, yeah laugh it up you two."

“So I assume you’ve figured it out that we’re a thing,” Suguru chuckles, gesturing between him and Satoru. “Not like we’re trying to hide it at all with Satoru’s subtleness like a bull in a flow shop.”

“You’re just as bad!” Satoru cuts in. “Always being so domestic, it’s impossible to do nothing.”

“I figured most sorcerers didn’t have ‘attachments’,” Yami says, with air quotes. “But makes sense that the strongest would be with each other.”

“Most don’t but find other ways to find ground with the profession,” Suguru explains. “Would you believe that our dear doctor Shoko is a raging alcoholic and smoker?”

“Oh for sure. Yuki always loves a good bottle of vodka. Like a worse wine aunt,” Yami laughs. “Everyone’s got their grounding methods.” 

"I used to be just as bad as Shoko with the cigarettes but the kids hated the smell," Suguru chuckles. "It's now a more "emergency smoke" situation. Satoru though is a feind for his sweets. I swear he loves sugar more than anyone else in the world."

“You know I need to keep my brain stimulated,” Satoru teases to another eyeroll and gag from Suguru. “So what’s yours, Ms. Yokai? For someone who barely exists, it seems like we’re some of the only people who know the most about you.”

“I don’t have someone waiting for me if that’s what you’re wondering,” Yami smirks. “Never been in one country for too long to have any long-term commitments. I’ve just barely been back in Japan for the last two years.”

“What brought you back?” Suguru asks gently. “Yuta wasn’t discovered until a couple of months ago, so he can’t be the sole reason.”

“Yuki had asked me to come meet her newest student,  Aoi Todo, now a Kyoto student. I’ve been taking jobs in the country since then.” Yami explains easily. “Most of the jujutsu world has heard of me in some form since then, so might as well make my full appearance in the best way possible to help out the school. Several clans would love me dead”

“Welcome to the club,” Satoru snorts. “Most of the jujutsu world would love it if Suguru or I weren’t such problems.” 

“To the Problems Club,” Yami laughs, raising her glass of water as she cheers with the two men.

a/n: Sorry this took me longer than usual to write. Moving and work really killed and trying to write flirting as someone who is as subtle as Gojo is damn hard. The dinner will be continuing next time!

[angelofsmalldeath011]

the day i become confident enough to not send in asks anonymously is the day i finally will be able to ask aout a girl TRUST

[euphoriascomingback]

Apparently telling your husband dick to "Sieg heil" and seductivly whispering "I'm your führer now" into his ear is not sexy...

"Put your wiener schnitzel into my gas chamber!" 🤣🤣🤣

@thatscottguy33

[catboythatbarks]

I liked your post, I'm obviously flirting with you, why are you ignoring all the signs!!

[beeesworld]

Frankie: What the fuck am I doing?

Jacob: Are you alright?

Frankie: No! No. Grace had this stupid idea that you were flirting with me, so I tried to flirt back. You couldn't tell?

Jacob: I thought you were having a stroke.

[starlightbrigade-dnd]

If you don't emote through your big fluffy ears, what's the point?

[rebelwheelsnycpoetry]

The Drummer, The Crush & The Jazz Club

by Michele Sommerstein

I always wondered… does her arms get tired, after a night of playing, at the small jazz club? She, upon the stage, stares at me, I think? playing- tikadatik takadatak symbols and snares, crash crash crash! Double time! Double time! Ditty boi closes her eyes with passion I see it and I can only sit in awe, silent hand upon my heart and I am blown away

Anticipation. This Thursday night took forever to come, and now It is just me, writing by this candlelight She upon the stage, with the silver drum set, Perhaps tonight, I will touch the curl upon her forehead look into the eyes and find the words, for this soul that never fails to blow my mind even if it was not her intention

Foolish, I am for in this moment too busy documenting the present writing this poem to not aid the night to bring it along with a stare, a glance, a smile My heart! Tickadatik takadatak! Double time! Double time! Crash crash crash! I stare, she smiles the candle burns my hand “ow” I mutter. She smiles again

And so, this…. inspiration Is it you? Is it me? That inspires me so?

No, it’s the energy between us It is us separate and yet one Let us lower our eyes gently to the soft sizzle of it all, after the club, I can press my lips against your forehead as you tell me the pipe dreams and passions that keep you alive…

and so, at near midnight and I watch as she parts from her silver drum set my mouth is silent, but my eyes are busy confessing I wait, as she makes her way, in my direction and as I begin to think of words I shall say, giddy and overthinking hello hello hi (keep it simple but with greater meaning. a beginning) when suddenly I feel, the strange breeze as she walks past me, my heart, befuddled quickly does the math as it watches her embrace her partner, with passion, with a light in her eyes the red headed soul with pink streaks who was behind me, the whole time the red headed soul that never fails to blow her mind, even if it was not her intention

my heart is torn between sadness and laughter, and so, it chooses both.

[fishwanderingforest]

Flirting makes no sense???

I was just at a party (Maibaumstüberl for my bavarians out there) and I was dancing with my friends and a girl/women seemed to want to talk to me, I made some space and she came up to me and went like

"YOUR HAIR IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL"

And I was like"THANK YOU!"

And then she went like

" WHAT KIND OF PRODUCTS DO U USE? "

and I actually do not use anything for my curls they are just like this without doing much but I didn't wanna give her no answer so I was like, okay I'm gonna give her the best brand I personally know and went like

"CANTU"

And then we talked really short real quick and she left and my friends were like

" YOU DID GIVE HER UR NUMBER RIGHT?"

and I was like? "NO?"

And then I was enlightened that that was flirting

Like apparently the body language gave it away , I just thought it was gays supporting girls or something (she did even have curls lmao it makes sense now)

And now I have realized if today's flirting is like this I'll end up alone because I just won't pick up on it

Anyway taking it as a big compliment because today is actually not a good hair day for me so-

[mischievous-thunder]

If truth be told, Logan secretly believes that Wade is a 💯

[chaotically-frolicking]

im trying to flirt rn send help

[skellagirl]

so I played through Origins again and there's this middle-aged man 🫣

Amrynn the Hero of Ferelden will smooch him, so help me God

why did they do him so fucking dirty in Trespasser anyway lol 😭 I'm half convinced he was originally meant to be an entirely different character and then last minute they were like, 'hey let's make him Teagan instead' but didn't change anything about his design. But it IS really funny when your Inquisitor rides up to the exalted council and looks up at him and he's just mean mugging the FUCK out of you

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Vanessa sucks at “flirting” with Mike

[loserbutch]

i don't know how to flirt so i really hope all the dumbass shit i say works

[angrycheesegirl]

Done with flirting, done with dating. From now on I'm walking right up to friends, cupping their faces, and kissing them until they nearly pass out from asphyxiation. It's 2023, I ain't got enough time left to be subtle in how gay I am.

[bigfatbreak]

a boon! dont forget to make him more treats :D