#for more proof just look at gay or european

[phoenixkaptain]

I saw someone call Legally Blonde sexist and it makes me honestly wonder if they even watched it???

Maybe the movie is wildly different, but the entire point of the musical is accepting yourself and being as feminine as you want because stereotypical femininity doesn’t make you any less intelligent or capable.

Elle’s entire story arc is going from thinking that she has to wait for Warner to propose to her, thinking that she can’t look too desparate to get married because that will make Warner look bad, to proposing to her boyfriend at the end of her graduation speech. She learns that she doesn’t have to wait for a man, she doesn’t have to make life decisions based on a man, she can make changes to her life and circumstances entirely of her own volition.

The entire point of the musical is staying true to oneself. Callahan, the literal villain, tells his students that they have to change themselves to be taken seriously. They have to change their moral compass, and they have to win every case by any means possible. He mocks them for thinking compassionately. He doesn’t even entertain the idea that a woman who teaches self defense didn’t murder her own husband. He teaches Elle that she has to change herself to be taken seriously in any context, but no matter how much she changes, she’ll still just be viewed by him as eye candy.

Meanwhile, the actual mentor figure is Emmett (at least when it comes to law). Emmett’s song is the antithesis of Blood in the Water. Chip on Your Shoulder is about sticking to your guns. Emmett tells Elle all about his motivations to be at Harvard law, and his motivations and backstory fuel his entire character. He grew up with just his mom and the men his mom dated, not very good men, and he became protective of his mom. He’s there to make his mom proud, he’s there to make his mom happy, he’s there because he made this chance for himself and he’s taking it.

Unlike Callahan’s point of changing yourself to be taken more seriously, Emmett’s is entirely about how Elle doesn’t have to change herself, she just has to actually start putting effort into studying. He doesn’t expect her to change anything about herself except for the amount of work she’s doing. He teases her, but he’s completely accepting of her interests.

Emmett is the one who inspires and teaches Elle to be passionate about school, not Callahan, and it’s because Emmett’s teaching methods involve staying true to your morals. Staying true to yourself.

More than that, the entire musical is built on Elle’s relationship with her female friends. The “Greek choir,” the female students, Paulette, Brook Wyndham, etc. Enid is one of my favourite examples, since she has this line: “I used to pray for the day you’d leave, swore and down you did not belong. But when I’m wrong, then I say I’m wrong, and I was wrong about you. So listen up! I see no end to what you’ll achieve, that’s only if you don’t turn and run. You proved it to me, now show everyone what you can do.”

Enid is a feminist and generally, in the beginning, is snide about Elle, but she learns from Elle that she doesn’t have to be afraid of showing her own femininity. Enid is in a highly male-dominated field and she’s a lesbian; she acts more masculine and tries to fit in with the boys, and she does this because she wants desperately to be taken seriously. Elle shows her that she doesn’t have to pretend. She goes from looking down on Elle to looking up to her, and the character arc is just super sweet.

Legally Blonde is about as far from sexist as it’s possible to be. Just because a few characters (who are literally antagonists or are misguided and grow and change over the course of the story) are sexist, that doesn’t make the core of the musical misogynistic. It’s not, and to look at it that way is incredibly diminutive.

[kyra45]

Just a simple look at what makes me suspicious of jenniferpss. This isn’t a call to go harass them or bother them I’m just stating my concerns they ignored in order to tell me I’m attacking them with my questions.

1. They tagged users who have been personally affected by Laura Deramas is the past. A brand new account wouldn’t know who these blogs are unless they have heard of them prior. Even then, why tag them?

2. They may have originally said in their post (or somewhere on their blog at some point) that it’s illegal to be gay/trans at their location but if they live in America this just isn’t true. While there is laws in some states that negatively impact such, you wouldn’t spend years in jail for just being gay/trans. More so if your a resident of Massachusetts.

3. Their claiming to be European but in America for healthcare. If you know the states, healthcare here is expensive. I know some may do it for reasons but stating your European is kinda pointless if it doesn’t really play a part of anything.

4. They said they use Facebook pay since some people use it. I’m sorry but in my 11 years of tumblr experience I’ve never seen a single blogger ask for people to pay them on Facebook pay. It requires a payment option via messenger and would need you to have an account.

5. Their whole story doesn’t really add up much at all if you examine it closely taking into consideration that they are an European living in America. Originally their post said they had a screenshot of an email but there is no such thing.

6. The images are entirely selfies that may be stolen from somewhere else and are clearly not the same person.

7. Messaging users who share their post. Sharing someone’s post isn’t an open invitation to send messages asking for tons of money on the spot. Laura was known to do this and also send sensitive images without being prompted to.

In conclusion, jenniferpss could be a scammer but I’m not saying they are. I am not attacking them. I simply had questions and they did not answer them within reason. They simply came to my blog to try and argue with me about how I’m attacking them just because I asked them about something in a public setting.

If you received a DM from them after sharing their post and are comfortable with sharing it, please do so I can provide proof they are messaging users.

[tilynation]

u dont have to post this ask cause i dont want antis using this to circle jerk but i cant seem to find any gay rumors of lily aside from rihanna in the lchat. the models thread dont even think she’s bi. can u post the links to her gay rumors if you have them? i recall some tily shippers saying she had rumors with freja and gemma?

Questions About Lily’s Sexuality

Thanks for the ask. I posted it because I’m not worried about antis. I’m confident in my research, we are just here to have fun, and we have a good community of people who want to talk all things gaylor. I have not encountered any antis directly on the blog or in my asks except for one fervent Kaylor fan who has been harmless. I like Kaylor by the way and think that both Kaylor and Tily could have happened. They don’t negate each other or interfere with each other if you believe a realistic Kaylor timeline. On to your questions about Lily . . . and an update at the end.

Lily is Bi / Some Form of Queer / Label Free

Let’s start with Lily’s interviews about Rihanna. They predate their hookup/fling/situation. Lily openly expressed her huge and lasting crush on Rihanna several times in print interviews. This alone proves some form of queer. We’ll go further, but this answers the question of whether she’s straight.

Lily also posted about her being fruity, liked posts that tagged her about being label free (and used a picture of her) and supported gay rights/marriage equality without ever calling herself an ally. She posted with rainbows and wearing rainbows more than usual in 2016/2017. She makes the V sign around her mouth or other p***y licking signs in photos often. It’s the most I’ve ever seen from anyone.

Lily / Rihanna

Check the Rihanna or Lihanna tag on the blog. I’ve posted about this a considerable amount beyond what’s on L Chat. They most likely had something. The infamous pic touching Rihanna in the club during Paris fashion week, the report of them making out at a party (from someone credible who posted under his real name), following Rihanna around for about 6 months across the country, etc.

Lily/Rihanna happened at the end of or after Cyprien, Lily’s boyfriend from 2013-2015. Cyprien does not “debunk” Tily (sorry to the few Taylor/Joe blogs I’ve seen say this). They don’t overlap at all and Lily was not seen with him after 2015. I’ll even give you a visit to his country in early 2016 with her friends but there’s literally nothing after that. Cyprien ending by early 2016 and Rihanna ending after Coachella/LA in Spring 2016 give us the lead up to Taylor/Lily during Taylor’s chaotic Spring/Summer of 2016 and then the Tily Autumn.

The New York Crew

Lily has been a part of a known group of NYC/European lesbian and bi women for the past several years. It’s mentioned on the L Chat and is well-documented on Instagram. I’ve posted about it a bit on the blog and have received submissions from anons who know this info too. I also know she’s in the group because I know someone who dated one of her friends in the group. When her friends wanted to see her during the Tily years, they had to go to London because she wasn’t in NYC anymore. (Part of the extensive proof that Lily moved to London when Taylor said she moved there with her London lover). My personal head canon is that Lily tried to find someone in the wealthy lesbian/bi women group, then tried it with Rihanna, tried it with Taylor (and tried to get Taylor to come out/commit a bit), then when that didn’t work out took the path of least resistance to a well off life by hooking up with a billionaire who she knew liked her.

Freja / Gemma / Models Thread

Lily’s rumors with out lesbian model Freja are from the L Chat. They hung out a lot outside of work for a few years before Cyprien.

I saw some early Tily fans mention Gemma but I haven’t found anything regarding her and Lily that would make me think they were more than friends but I haven’t looked at Lily much during the aughts. If I find something, I’ll post it, but Gemma is not important to Lily’s sexuality or relationships.

The Models thread on L Chat has their favorites and that’s fine. They didn’t keep up with Lily on that thread. Lily was posted about elsewhere on L Chat where the general consensus is bi. Funnily, the one time Lily got mentioned on the Models thread they thought she had something with Karlie based on this night :

Polo Club / Country Club St. Tropez

What Taylor and Lily had together was fun while it lasted and we can look back on it with fondness. It was a good two years, maybe a bit more. It’s most likely been over since 2019. Lily went off social media in January 2020, deleted the “AT” and ♥️ emoji from her birthday post for Taylor right before Miss Americana and The Man were released, and headed off to the modeling industry’s retirement life - the girlfriend and likely baby mama for a billionaire, a man about 6 times richer than Taylor. Lily was recently tagged by the social account for his polo club in St. Tropez (no photos of her) as presumably at one of the events a few weeks ago. Alshair was tagged also as were a bunch of rich dudes who won some polo cup. The photos of Alshair’s polo and country club on this account look exactly like the scene described in “Cowboy Like Me,” with Lily likely telling the rich people what they want to hear. It would be nice if she came back to the fashion world, even if not to model, but I don’t begrudge her the life she chose.

The ironic part of the Polo Club St. Tropez is Lily first went there on July 19, 2016. I posted about that date in my “Cruel Summer” post.

That was the first day of Leo’s gala and the yacht everyone was on was Alshair’s. That was presumably when Lily first met Alshair. There are videos of her riding horses at the Polo Club on 7/19, so either she mentioned it or Alshair knew she liked horses and set it up for her to ride there during the Leo’s gala trip. Fast forward 5 years - Tily is over and Lily is the likely girlfriend of the billionaire owner of the polo club.

“Breakable Heaven” indeed.

[atmilliways]

Both going to grab the same thing and touching hands, then making eye contact.

[cliche tropes & prompts]

You got it! This prompt is from January, so here's PROOF that I really AM still working on old requests. 😂

You didn't specify a fandom or pairing, so I just went with some pre-klok Nathan and Skwisgaar. Some discussion of condoms and totally gay kissing included.

They Both, They Both They Both Reached For

“So, uh. How’s it going?” Nathan asked absently while he dug around in the bathroom drawer dor a condom. What a dumb idea to just dump them all in there loose like this, who’s dumbass idea had that been—but then, nothing else in their apartment was very organized, so why would this be.

“Eughhhhh, pretty goods.” Skwisgaar, looking impatiently over the other man’s shoulder. “I means, I ams here. Waitings for this pro-fah-crack-tits thing all yous Ameriscans womens ams obsessings with just to get into-sides of you knows whats. This whole times.”

“Alright, fucking . . . shut up a minute.”

With a jerk, Nathan pulled the drawer completely out of the cabinet and dumped the contents on the corroded countertop. He poked through the resulting mess with a finger, frowning. The condom wrappers were flashy and distinctive, so they should have been easy to spot. Except. . . . .

Nothing was catching his eye.

“Fuck, I think. . . . I think we’re out.”

“Noooooooooooooes,” Skwisgaar moaned in anguish, crowding close to see for himself. Unfortunately for Nathan, that meant scrawny guitarist chest pressed against one side of his back—and they’d both just been engaged in activities that had involved a certain amount of getting sweaty. Gross.

They both saw it at the same time: one last condom. The last condom, aka ticket to getting laid, aka all inclusive evening vacation to pound town. Both men thought, Mine!

Nathan was closer, but Skwisgaar had longer arms. First, their hands banged together. They each whipped their heads around to glare at each other, vivid green irritated frown meeting icy blue suspicious glare. Then they descended into an unruly mess of reaching for it and trying to stop the other from getting anywhere near it at the same time.

Before long, the scuffle went from just hands, to arms, to a full bodies event. Nathan banged an elbow on the sink, Skwisgaar nearly got knocked ass-first into the toilet, and even some hair pulling became involved. But it all happened more or less silently, lest their dates overheard and got too annoyed to still be in the mood.

“Gives it to’s me!” Skwisgaar hissed.

“I was here first!” Nathan whisper-rumbled. “Ow—you bit me!”

“Goods, I was tryings to! Ahhhhggh—Okays, okays! Truce?”

“. . . Fine.”

They pulled apart, eyeing each other warily. Nathan had won the strategic position of standing nearest to the bathroom door.

“How are we going to fucking decide that I should get the last condom?” he asked irritably.

Skwisgaar tossed his head in annoyance. “Pfft, whats makes you so sures you gets it? I gots a real greats ladies ins there, can’ts lets her be the ones what gets away.”

“You’ve had a date every night this week!”

Skwisgaar shrugged, blond hair cascading over his pale, scrawny shoulders. If he was trying to loom, he failed; he might have had the advantage in height, but Nathan was too solidly built to be intimidated by a handful of inches. It was like a string bean trying to overshadow a squash. “Can’t help beings popsular, Nathans, it ams my curse.”

Nathan snorted, but grudgingly changed tracks. “I’ll play you rock paper scissors for it.”

“Fucks nos! Last time we does thats you hits me unsconskous with yous dumb rock fist and I wokes up an hours later with a heads-ache.”

“Well . . . fine, but how the fuck are we going to settle this?”

A bit of mischief sparked in Skwisgaar’s eye and a smile began to bloom across his face. “I gots an is-dea, I thinks,” he said slowly.

“. . . What idea?” Nathan asked. They’d been roommates for a few months. They got along pretty well, for the most part. Occasionally one would throw out some suggestions for the others’ musical projects that actually turned out to be really on point and helpful. It was a good arrangement.

But Nathan still wasn’t sure he trusted the guy in matters of the dick. Skwisgaar seemed like the type willing to fight dirty.

“Ams simple,” Skwisgaar replied, smile widening and sharpening at the same time. “Whoever ams better, gets it.”

Nathan, feeling as though he was being zeroed in on in some way, was about to ask better at what—and perhaps that was the exact sort of thing people were talking about when they told him he was a little slow. Before he knew what was happening Skwisgaar was seeping into his personal space, hips angled unexpectedly close, hands sneaking up to hold his head in place, tipping his chin up a little, and kissing him.

Lips, tongue, warmth. And, fuck, Skwisgaar was good at kissing. Maybe it was a European thing.

Shock took over, or Nathan would have totally shoved him away. . . . But also, he had literally just come in here from making out and heavy petting, so it wasn’t like this was a huge jump in genre, even if it felt weird to tilt up for a change. That was his excuse for slowly yielding and then kissing back while his hands went instinctively to the Swede’s ass.

Once he’d fully jumped in, the kiss deepened and quickly became a fast-paced game of back and forth, push-me-pull-you, tug of war. That was the idea, right? See who was better? Well, in order to determine that and win the prize, he had to participate. And he was really, really motivated to win that prize.

He wasn’t sure when his eyes had closed, but it might have been around the time he’d started to use his teeth and Skwisgaar had retaliated by sucking on his entire lower lip.

He wasn’t sure when his focus on what the prize actually was had started to get kind of hazy. Ignored but not forgotten, the partial hardon in his underwear was definitely beginning to show signs of interest; he felt a similar twitch through the white silk boxers pressed against his stomach. Skwisgaar made a soft, inviting sort of sound into his mouth and pressed in closer.

He wasn’t sure, at first, what to do with himself when the other man broke the kiss with a triumphant laugh, holding up the brightly colored condom wrapper just close enough for Nathan to see but not take.

“Looks to mine two eye whats I win,” Skwisgaar crowed, kiss-reddened lips flashing into a smirk. “Ha! Better lucks next night, dildo!”

With that, he stepped around Nathan and slipped out of the bathroom—but not without bestowing a farewell hand on Nathan’s ass, a slap with just a hint of a grope.

Nathan stood there for a little longer trying to gather his thoughts—the most coherent of which were along the lines of, Huh, I guess I was right about that playing dirty thing.

His roommate had just kissed him, which was completely gay . . . but he hadn’t hated it. Actually, he’d kind of the opposite of hated it. And maybe wouldn’t mind doing it again, see what else those lips could do. It would probably be worth it; he happened to know that Skwisgaar had broken up at least half of the bands he’d played guitar in with his dick. Not that Nathan was thinking about his roommate’s dick!

. . . Maybe they should be in a band together. Nathan had been thinking about putting one together for a while—not just a band but the band, the one he’d saved all of his best shit for. They seemed to be on the same wavelength, Skwisgaar was an expert guitarist. He would make a good lead. . . .

Or something like that. He’d have to think about it more later.

In the meantime, Nathan was all wound up and with limited options for getting off. He shook his head to clear it and reminded himself that he still had a girl in his room, so at least the night wasn’t going to be a complete bust. . . . Even if it probably meant having to, ugh, reciprocate oral sex.

[ahysopae]

PLEASE TALK ABOUT YOUR TAKE ON KHAI'S SEXUALITY I NEED MORE TOL ANALYSIS 😭😭😭

Okay, so on Khai's sexuality. Little warnings before I start: I see him from the prism of my own experience, that, are by definition, not universal to all. My take is nothing more than an opinion about a fictive character (and I will speak about my own life because I love TMI) Also I am a white European cis-woman, and even if my take should have nothing to do about culture, I think it's something to keep in mind. Finally (promise it's the last warning) I will talk about internalized biphobia.

First, a little more about me. When I think about it now, it has always been obvious that I'm not straight (the way Lucy Liu in Ally McBeal still live rent-free in my head like 15 years after the last time I watched this show is a proof). More, that I am not gay either (like I will not say how many time I watched the second Narnia movie because of Skandar Keynes when I was 14). But I only accepted my bisexuality like five years ago (I was 23, something like that). Before that I had like a lot of hookups in like a year, all with men (because ya, at this time I didn't even let me think to date other genders - yes it's here that we start about internalized biphobia). It was easier to only go in date with men, and just not say no to them, than accept I was looking to women the same way. I think you already know where I go. Khai is at first glance a womanizer. Like he has how many girlfriends in the bit where Third introduce him? At leat 5? I don't want to check so let's say that, okay? He seems to have sex with all of them, not so long after meeting them. Also, we realize soon enough that he has no problem to break up with them: girlfriends come and leave, friends stay. And yes, Khai will ditch them (Third the first) for a girl, but at the end he is closer to his friends than to any girl. I already stated that Khai was in love with Third since the start too (like normally you don't need to tell your friend you will never date them, except if you think about it), so why did he never try anything? Don't tell me he didn't know how to flirt, because you flirt kinda in the same way with men and women (and he knows how to do that, clearly). So it's something else. It's not homophobia either. He doesn't seem to have anything to say about the relationship between Two and Un for example (except that he hates Un). It can be him being oblivious (as a proud representative of the dumb bi cliché, I accept Khai as one of us), but I choose to see his reluctance to recognize his feelings for his best friend for what they are in the same way I see my denial of my attirance for women for like 20 years: voluntary blindness. Most of the time it's easier to pretend you're straight or at least mono than accepting you can be attired by more than a gender. I think it has something to do with the "slutty bisexual" narrative (... yeah I never say I was logical). TLDR: I have a lot of empathy for Khai because I interpret him like following the same kind of path than me (except I still don't have a mean significant other who care dearly about me and love me and frankly it's biphobia). I love him among other things because he reminds me of aspects of myself and my past that I have learned to love.

[thegreenmeridian]

My email to the Open University:

Dear Professor Blackman,

I am a current student with the OU (<student ID number>). I have just finished the first module of my bachelors and I am supposed to be signing up for more soon. However, the news that the OU is going to be operating a “gender critical” research group has made me seriously rethink this.

I am a trans student. “Gender critical” is term used by radical feminists et al who are openly hostile to the existence of people like me and actively deny the science behind our identities and the medical care we need. To “gender critical” people, my transness is the product of misogyny and my seeking the lifesaving medical care I require to treat my dysphoria is a form of self harm. This is patently false. Study after study has shown that we are who we say we are, and that trans medical care is the ONLY evidence-based way of helping us. It is the academic equivalent of allowing “vaccine critical” studies or “climate critical” studies.

Beyond the intellectual absurdity of encouraging this research group, I beg you to consider what message this sends to your trans staff and students. Being trans in the UK has become increasingly terrifying over the past few years. I have been lucky enough to escape that by virtue of having moved to a European country where “debating” my identity and right to exist as I am is rightfully considered as hateful as debating the existence of gay people. I am in no way being hyperbolic when I say that fear of ever having to return to the UK has resulted in me needing anxiety medication and sleeping pills. Nor am I being hyperbolic when I say I would rather die than return to the current political climate for people like me. I would fear for my physical safety from others, and I would fear for my mental and physical health thanks to the efforts of the “gender critical” lobby to decimate trans health care.

By allowing this group, you are telling me and every other trans student or staff member that none of that matters. Our health, our safety, must yet again be pushed aside for the sake of coddling an anti-science hate group. And make no mistake, these people ARE a hate group. Any person whose position is that a suicidal trans teenager is “threatening suicide to get their way” is hateful. The women that have referred to my trans body as mutilated are hateful. The women who threaten violence on any woman who dares use a public bathroom while looking masculine are hateful.

I cannot continue my education with the OU if this goes ahead. I greatly resent finding myself in this position. Make no mistake, this is not a matter of protest for me. This is a matter of self preservation. I refuse to stay a part of an institution that would give legitimacy to a group that gleefully contributes to an environment in British society and medicine that causes harm and death to people like me. I will not give my money to an institution that would deny my personhood. Nor will I myself through the experience of engaging with tutors and such when I know that being openly disbelieving of my existence is something that is allowed and even encouraged by the OU. The fear that my transness may be disbelieved or taken as proof of my character by the people I ought to be able to rely on for my education would be, I should hope obviously, detrimental in the extreme to my studies.

I do not know you, nor your politics. I admit to trepidation regarding your beliefs on this matter by virtue of you being British. Such is the climate of the UK these days for people like me. But I hope that you, like me, value science over conjecture. I hope that you can engage with trans people in good faith and see us as people, not as a topic to be debated. I hope that you can listen to us, listen to not just the hell we go through fighting to be seen as we are, but to the joy we find in being ourselves and the lives we build as trans individuals. Above all, I hope you will recognise that the “gender critical” ideology is one that will rightfully be seen by future generations the same way my generation sees Section 28’s ban on “teaching” homosexuality in schools, and that to involve the OU in the legitimising of such beliefs is to tarnish its reputation as an educational institution.

Thank you for your time,

<name>

[serialreblogger]

i need so much proof that shakespeare was bi as all hell please and thank you :) (its true duh, but um. i need to know more thank you) (๑•́ ヮ •̀๑)

THANK YOU FOR ASKING! May I submit the following evidence to the jury:

Sonnet 20 in its entirity. It’s one long love confession specifically addressed to a male beloved, grieving that they happened to be male. For those curious, the beloved is described as encompassing the highest virtues of man and woman together (in more modern terms, genderqueer/bigender/GNC/trans might apply. Of course, it’s doubly impossible to say anything of the sort for certain, given that a. those terms weren’t available to 17th-century Europeans and b. we have no way of knowing who Shakespeare was talking about, let alone if they were non-cis).

This entire poem is Shakespeare addressing someone as “man? technically. woman? probably also yes. do i care either way? no. are you the love of my life? absolutely.” Shakespeare essentially just goes:

[ID: a gif of Jonathan Van Ness saying “Gorgeous.” end ID]

and calls it a day.

Sonnet 63 uses he/him pronouns throughout. See especially: “[Time] shall never cut from memory / My sweet love's beauty, though my lover’s life: / His beauty shall in these black lines (this poem) be seen . . . he in them [will remain] still green.” (In other words, Time will never erase the memory of Shakespeare’s “sweet love’s beauty,” though it will take his life: his beauty shall be preserved in this poem forever, and so, in that sense, he will remain forever young and lovely.)

[ID: the “is this a pigeon?” meme, edited to show “shakespeare” gesturing at “a poem” to ask if it is “the key to immortality.” end ID]

He does the same in Sonnet 19, begging Time: “Him [my love] in thy course untainted do allow / For beauty's pattern to succeeding men” (“Leave him untouched, spare him / so that he can remain the model of absolute beauty for every man forevermore”) and declaring that though Time will do what it always does, still Shakespeare’s love will have his beauty preserved forever in this poem.

Sonnet 68 is similar, except instead of grieving the inevitable loss of youth, Shakespeare praises his beloved for aging gracefully: “In him those holy antique hours are seen, / Without all ornament, itself and true . . . Robbing no old to dress his beauty new.” He’s praising his beloved for proudly showing the wrinkles in his cheek and fading hair, instead of using the hair of the dead for wigs (as many did at the time), or trying to feign a youth he no longer has.

[ID: Shakespeare’s new and improved attitude to age. A grey-haired woman in brightly coloured clothes leans against a graffitied wall. The caption reads, “OLD is the new YOUNG.” end ID]

For the record, I maintain that Sonnet 42 is big polyam vibes, but that’s more debatable and would require a whole separate essay to argue for. Still. Gotta include it in the list.

also, as I said in a previous post:

all the genderbending in Shakespeare’s plays is, in my view, about 40% unapologetic projection and wish-fulfillment with a slapdash retcon at the end so he didn’t get executed, 20% quiet seething rage, and 40% him playing with the sort of humour that’d get him upvotes in early modern England. 

[ID: John Mulaney saying “I’m very gay. I’d like a few dollars.” Wouldn’t we all. end ID]

Of course, Shakespeare’s queer content isn’t explicit outside the sonnets, which had less wide of an audience. If you were too obvious, or ticked off the wrong person, or if some lunatic decided to use your words to promote their destabilizing social violence, you WOULD get executed. That wasn’t a hypothetical. Some people were more open than Shakespeare. They paid the price. Look at what happened to Marlowe and Kyd.

It was dangerous to be queer in early modern England, especially if you didn’t have the same protections that the aristocracy enjoyed. And Shakespeare wasn’t an aristocrat. In my mind, it is the opposite of odd that he would play off his queer content with humor and “happy endings.”

Shakespeare was living in a highly charged, highly controlling political climate, where anything subversive could spark another civil war. Censorship was high, and stakes were higher. Just because a lot of Shakespeare’s queer content (particularly in his plays) is left vague and only included when it could be treated comedically doesn’t mean it wasn’t also genuine.

[calacuspr]

Calacus Weekly Hit & Miss – Carl Nassib & UEFA

Every Monday we look at the best and worst communicators in the sports world from the previous week.

HIT – CARL NASSIB

“I hope that one day videos like this and the whole coming out process are just not necessary," said Carl Nassib, the Las Vegas Raiders’ defensive end after revealing that he is gay.

In making his admission, during Pride month no less, Nassib becomes the first active National Football League player to come out publicly.

Nassib added: "I'm a pretty private person so I hope that you guys know that I'm really not doing this for attention. I just think that representation and visibility are so important.

"I'm going to do my best to cultivate a culture that's accepting and compassionate."

He followed up with a written message admitting that he had “agonised over this moment for the last 15 years” and it was only after he received so much encouragement from family and friends that he decided to go ahead.

“I am also incredibly thankful for the NFL, my coaches, and fellow players for their support,” Nassib wrote. “I would not have been able to do this without them. From the jump I was greeted with the utmost respect and acceptance.”

Nassib is also donating £100,000 to the Trevor Project, a suicide prevention service for LGBTQ youth in America, a creditable gesture which highlights his understanding of the struggles many young people face.

Amit Paley, CEO & Executive Director of The Trevor Project, gave thanks to Nassib for his generosity and said: “The Trevor Project is grateful to Carl Nassib for living his truth and supporting LGBTQ youth. Coming out is an intensely personal decision, and it can be an incredibly scary and difficult one to make. We hope that Carl’s historic representation in the NFL will inspire young LGBTQ athletes across the country to live their truth and pursue their dreams. 

“At a time when state lawmakers are actively trying to restrict transgender and nonbinary youth’s participation in school sports, this news should serve as a clarion call for greater LGBTQ inclusion in the locker room and on the field.”

Of those who have admitted that they are gay in the past, Michael Sam came out before being drafted into the league in 2014, but never played a regular season NFL game.

Roy Simmons, who played for the Giants and Washington in the 1980s, was one of a number of players to come out after retiring. He told the New York Times in 2003 that he did not feel safe announcing that he was gay while he was in the NFL.

“The NFL has a reputation,” he said at the time, “and it’s not even a verbal thing – it’s just known. You are gladiators; you are male; you kick butt.”

Hall of fame quarterback Warren Moon revealed that gay players had long been a part of the NFL. He tweeted: “As long as they helped us win and were great teammates- their sexual preference was never a issue..

“We live in a different time now where diversity is much more accepted. Cheers Carl, and I hope this lets other athletes know, its OK to say who you are...”

The Raiders tweeted: “Proud of you, Carl” while club owner Mark Davis played down the significance of the announcement and said: “He’s a Raider. If he’s happy, I’m happy. It takes courage. I thought we got to the point where this wasn’t (a story). It doesn’t change my opinion of him as a man or as a Raider.”

The NFL was swift to offer their support for Nassib with Commissioner Roger Goodell saying: “The NFL family is proud of Carl for courageously sharing his truth today. Representation matters.

“We share his hope that someday soon statements like his will no longer be newsworthy as we march toward full equality for the LGBTQ+ community. We wish Carl the best of luck this coming season.”

NFL Players Association executive director DeMaurice Smith added: "Our union supports Carl and his work with the Trevor Project is proof that he -- like our membership -- is about making his community and this world a better place not for themselves, but for others."

Certainly 20 years ago, Nassib’s announcement may have ended his career based on the macho culture within the NFL locker rooms but the fact that his shirt was the top-selling NFL jersey on its network after his announcement according to sports apparel retailer Fanatics.

Nassib is now a poster boy for a new era in American Football and it is to his credit that he is embracing the challenge.

"I do not know all the history behind our courageous LGBTQ community," he added, "but I am eager to learn and to help continue the fight for equality and acceptance."

MISS – UEFA

The football community has been largely united in support for the LGBTQ+ community recently, from European players donning rainbow laces and calling out blatant acts of homophobia.

However, UEFA have been criticised for not explicitly challenging or condemning homophobia during Pride month.

German captain Manuel Neuer’s decision to wear a rainbow-coloured armband was initially banned by UEFA before they quickly changed their position.

UEFA then last week rejected a request to illuminate the Allianz Arena in Munich with rainbow colours during the EURO 2020 Group F match between Germany and Hungary.

There was suspicion that the proposal was a response to new Hungarian legislation, which has banned the promotion of homosexuality to those under the age of 18.

In a statement posted on social media, UEFA defended their decision by saying: “UEFA is proud to wear the colours of the rainbow. It is a symbol that embodies our core values, promoting everything that we believe in.

“Some people have interpreted UEFA’s decision to turn down the city of Munich’s request to illuminate the Munich stadium in rainbow colours for a Euro 2020 match as ‘political’. On the contrary, the request itself was political, linked to the Hungarian football team’s presence in the stadium for this evening’s match with Germany.”

The major of Munich, Dieter Reiter, was one of many who saw this as a missed opportunity from UEFA and he had hoped that the illuminations during the match would “send a visible sign of solidarity” with Hungary’s LGBTQ+ community.

The Germany and Hungary game finished 2-2 and summed up the mood from the footballing community perfectly towards homophobia and UEFA’s decision.

A pitch invader took to the field with a rainbow flag as the Hungarian National anthem blared out around the stadium, while Leon Goretza celebrated his late equaliser for Germany by running over to away fans and making a heart gesture with his hands, conveying the simple message that homophobia will not be tolerated.

Undoubtedly, UEFA have not a strong and clear position regarding homophobia throughout the EURO 2020 tournament.

Earlier, during Hungary’s opening Group F game against Portugal in Budapest, a set of Hungarian fans were seen holding a sign that read “Anti-LMBTQ”.

UEFA had an opportunity to react instantly to confirm the LGBTQ+ community as equals in society and in football but its delays had the result of many feeling unwelcome.

It took five days for UEFA to release a short statement on their website on the incident and no action has since been taken against Hungary.

The delay meant the message was not instantly dismissed, which suggests UEFA do not take the issue seriously enough.

Joe White, a spokesperson for the LGBTQ+ fans group 3LionsPride, has criticised UEFA’s messaging. In a statement, he said: “UEFA will tout themselves as supporters of equality and rainbow-wash their brand when it suits them, but rarely proactively engage or make improvements for LGBTQ+ people involved in the game.

“LGBTQ+ people across the game are not able to enjoy football when they have to face hatred in stadia and online.

“It’s clear that UEFA once again has its head firmly buried in the sand and is no ally of the LGBTQ+ community. Until UEFA start taking serious action against discrimination, the beautiful game is once again allowing its ugly side to rear its head.”

The rainbow symbol in football stadia reassures to LGBTQ+ individuals watching EURO 2020 that they are welcome in football. It demonstrates that attitudes towards homosexuality are improving within the sport.

Without the rainbow, particularly during Pride Month, those messages are lost.

Germany has led a continental call for greater LGBTQ+ unity throughout football. In the days following the UEFA Allianz Arena rejection, officials across Germany ignored the guidance, as stadia in Frankfurt, Augsburg and Nuremberg, as well as in Belgium, joined Munich by lighting up in rainbow colours.

Elsewhere, UEFA sponsor Booking.com, will use a rainbow outline in all of their pitch-side adverts for Round of 16 matches, including Holland’s game against the Czech Republic in Budapest.

Ahead of the tie in the Hungarian capital, Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte said that Hungary has “no place in the EU,” unless they retract their homophobic laws.

UEFA have demonstrated that the rainbow symbol will not be universally accepted in football, which is hardly consistent with their own claims to be pro-LGBTQ+.

The inconsistency shown by European football’s governing body during Euro 2020 underlines the fact that they have a long way to go to regain the confidence of the LGBTQ+ community.

Perhaps it is time for UEFA to go back to the drawing board and come up with a consistent policy which allows freedom of expression in the promotion of sexual equality.

[crossdreamers]

What is the difference between sex and gender?

Very often discussions about what it means to be transgender ends up in a quarrel about the difference between sex and gender. Some argue that there is no difference. Others that you cannot understand human beings without distinguishing between the two.  Here follows a pretty clear explanation.

Some days ago I got the following anonymous tumblr-question:

Hi! I don’t know if you answer this kind of questions, but my friend just came out as trans to his family and I really want to support him, and I feel like I should start by understanding him and the trans community as a whole better, as well as being more familiar with concepts of gender and sex, etc. So I wanted to ask if you have anything I could start with to begin understanding all of this better ?(literally keywords to google can work or books/articles,anything works!) 💜💜

The map versus the world

I think that much of the confusion found in online discussions about sex and gender is that many people think the map is exactly like the world itself. But when you think about a map of Times Square in New York, as this one...

... it is very easy to see that this 2D rendering is nothing like what Times Square looks like, feels like, sounds like and smells like in the real world. 

The map is a very simplified abstraction containing symbols that are there to help us navigate the real Times Square.

The same applies to language, including scientific concepts. The world itself is so insanely complex and “messy” that there is no way simple, human made, words and concepts can capture it all. 

The five dimensions of sex and gender

Originally English had one word, one sign,  to capture the complexity of what it means to be a man or a woman, namely “sex”. That  word was used  to capture at least five very different phenomena:

1. BIOLOGICAL SEX

Ultimately biological sex is  about gametes: sperm and eggs. In biology males are those who  produce sperm and females are those who produce eggs. Sperm meets egg and viola, you have a baby.  This is a fact. We would not be here without them.

Hormones decide whether a fetus ends up as a human being producing eggs or sperm, and most often – but not always – this hormone production correlates with  relevant chromosomes, XY in males and XX in females.

2. SEXUAL CHARACTERISTICS

Hormones also trigger the development of sexual characteristics. The primary sexual characteristics (genitalia) develop early on. The secondary sexual characteristics (facial hair growth, breasts etc.) appear during puberty.

Most often the development of secondary sexual characteristics follows from the biological sex, but there is a lot of variation and no absolute clear boundaries between the two sexes as regards looks.

3. GENDER EXPRESSIONS

While the development of sexual characteristics is triggered by hormones, the development of gender expressions are (for the most part) not. 

Among gender expressions we find clothing (skirts vs. trousers), mannerisms (crossing or not crossing your legs when sitting) and even interests (knitting versus wrestling). 

We know that these gender expressions are cultural and not biological for two important reasons: They differ from culture to culture (Roman men wearing togas and Scotchmen wearing kilts) and from individual to individual. Where I live (in Norway) most men are not afraid to cross their legs when seated, and women do love jeans.

4. GENDER ROLES

Gender roles refers to the way cultures divide tasks between the two genders, informally and even legally. 19th century European and North American had no right to vote. The majority of nurses world wide are women, even today.

Few of these gender roles have a firm biological basis, as the political and cultural changes that took place during the previous century has shown us. 19th century women in “the West” were supposed to be emotional, irrational and inferior to men in most ways. They were therefore not fitted to a life of leadership, the men said. They were, on the other hand, considered more nurturing than men, which made them the obvious choice for child rearing. 

Since then women have proven themselves capable in all strands of life, and many men are very good at taking care of kids.

5. GENDER IDENTITY

Gender identity is your deep felt sense of being a man or a woman (or neither or both). Most people (non-transgender cis people) never reflect on their gender identity, because no one is challenging it. 

Transgender people, on the other hand, as well as some intersex people, are forced to reflect on the difference between biological sex and gender identity, because they strongly, continuously and persistently feel that their sense of being a man or a woman (or some other category) does not match their legally assigned gender. 

People may disagree as to what causes this dissonance between biological sex and gender, but there is no denying that the mismatch exists. 

The sense of being a gendered being is undeniable

Gender dysphoria is real. The sense of being forced to live as the wrong gender is real. This means that the sense of being a gendered person is real. Gender identity is not the same as sex.

Anti-trans activists will often talk about transgender and intersex people being statistical outliers, saying that they do not in any way represent normalcy. There are actually as many intersex people as there are redheads in the world, but let us, for the sake of argument, say that they are right about this. This still does not change the fact that for many people several of these five variables do not match. 

If you have not done so already, you should take a look at the TED Talk of Emily Quinn, an intersex woman with XY chromosomes and “balls”, as she puts it. She looks like a woman, expresses herself as a woman and clearly thinks of herself as a woman. She is real, and through her very existence she provides clear proof of gender identity not being the same as biological sex.

I love the following photo of her, because it makes it so clear that she is using feminine gender expressions to express her real gender, XY chromosomes be damned.

Intersex or transgender

One important difference between intersex people like Emily Quinn and transgender people is that it is relatively easy to track down the biological roots of an intersex condition, being those chromosome variation (XO, XXX, XXY, XYY) or hormonal variation during the development of the fetus.

The transgender gender mismatch might also have roots in genes and hormonal variation (most medical experts seem to think so), but most often it becomes visible as an intense conviction of being “another” gender.

This has led some anti-trans activists to dismiss feelings in general as not being “real”. I remember discussing all of this with one such person, who desperately demanded a clear and unambiguous definition of what it means to be a man and woman, and it had to be based in visible biology. My attempts at telling him that emotions are real too had no effect.

But they are. Emotions are as real as genitals and chromosomes, and if someone continuously and persistently tell us that they are a man or a woman – in spite of all the harassment and social exclusion – you’d better believe there is something real causing that experience.

Mental illness

At this point in gender discussions I have often noticed that those who want to harm transgender people reach for the “mental illness” card. Sure, the feelings might be “real”, they say, but trans people are wrong. 

The map tells these people that Times Square is square. There is no room for circles. So trans people are delusional or perverted. Because science!

The consensus in medical circles is that this is not the case. Trans people are not mentally ill. They are as well equipped to navigate the complexities of life as cis people. They are more likely to be stressed out and depressed, for sure, but that is because they find themselves invalidated and harassed on a regular basis, not because they are mentally ill. 

The American psychiatric manual, the DSM-5, and the international health manual, the ICD-11 are both very clear: Being trans is not a mental illness. 

It is not all about gender expression

Some lesbian trans-exclusionary “radical feminists” (TERFs) try to use their own life experience to explain away the gender variance of trans people. 

Queer culture is full of people who identify as their assigned gender, they argue, but who nevertheless violate the norms of gender stereotypes. There are gay men with feminine gender expressions and lesbian, masculine, butch women.

The argument is that trans people are basically cis people who mistake the desire to express  masculinity and femininity through clothes, mannerism and musical taste for a different gender identity.  When people who used to think of themselves as masculine lesbian women come out as transgender men, they are simply dismissed as deluded women by the TERFs.

They have clearly no idea of how gender dysphoria affects a transgender person’s life. The suffering can be tremendous. You do not think about transitioning on a whim.

And here’s the thing: There is as much variation as regards masculine and feminine expressions and interests among trans people as there is among cis people. 

For sure, great many trans women make use of feminine gender expressions to celebrate their womanhood and get affirmation from those around them. But in this they are no different than cis women, which the flourishing fashion and cosmetic industries can attest to. 

There are butch trans women, in the same way that there are masculine cis women. There are femme trans men, in the same there are feminine cis men.

In other words: Gender expression does not always parallel gender identity.

A postscript on the term biological sex

Some transgender people do not like to talk about “biological sex.” They argue that a transgender woman is and has always been a “biological woman” even if she has not undergone hormone replacement therapy and/or surgery. It is the cultural assignment of a gender after birth that makes the difference, they say.

I understand the argument. They are not wrong.

But keep in mind that biologists use the words “sex” and “gender”, “male” and “female” differently than we do in everyday speech.  To use the map metaphor: Similar symbols can refer to different things.

We need to be able to compare biological sex with experienced gender. It is the only way you can make sense of gender dysphoria and the way many trans people feel alienated from their own bodies. This is why I have used the term “biological sex” throughout this article.

Conclusion

The gender mismatch of transgender people is as real as the sex/gender match of cis people. The very existence of transgender people proves that sex is not the same as gender.

Photo: Alexandr Screaghin

See also this Scientific American article on sex and gender, and my own article: “Sorry, gender cannot be reduced to biological sex.”

[fluorescentpipedream]

Darius Murphy - Patriarch of the Murphy family, unfortunately cursed to girls and with no one else to carry on the bloodline, he deals with what he’s got. Rough around the edges and usually very harsh on his daughters, he generally wants what’s best for them but in a lot of cases isn’t fond of how they’re turning out or who they’re choosing to spend their lives with. 

I finally found one I love for RJ

Skinner Sweet - the American Vampire. Made in 1880, Skinner is a ruthless, sociopathic nightmare creature with vampiric tendencies and rattlesnake fangs (and apparently venom too). Skinner has been in and out of the world off and on since the early 1900s, popping up in places like Los Angeles and more recently (if you wanna call the 60s recent) returning to Las Vegas where he retook one of his old aliases to start working with Prim senior. After a chance meeting with Justice Malone he comes to somewhat work with Section One, though not as a direct member, more someone that can be called in to work for them when they need a very particular type of work done. In his current case he was sent to find and make sure Danielle De Arithorn was still “alive” and keep her somewhat on the right side of the world. He was captured once by the Hunters, though aside from them managing to get a vial of his blood, which turned into a corrosive poison soon afterward, Cirian was unable to use him for much of anything nor turn him to their side. Skinner has no real allegiances to anyone and generally keeps to himself, though lately he can be found pretty much wherever Danielle is. In the past he’s had a severe hatred of the “European Vampires” and has taken great pleasure in not just killing them but utterly erasing them from the world, though these days, as long as they don’t mess with him, he won’t really go bothering them.

 Now for the new guys: 

Matthew Favrou - Matthew came into my head as a man who enjoys sex, to the point he doesn’t care if you’re gay, male, female, somewhere in between...whatever you are, he can and will make your toes curl. He lives in New Orleans and works at one of the less tourist-y bars on Bourbon Street. He was the guy in school that knew just how to make everyone weak in the knees, and yet never really got into a permanent relationship with anyone. He dated Frankie and Natasha while they were in high school, at the same time and even had a threesome with them but he’s also had a revolving door of partners since then. A genuinely good man who will do everything in his power to help someone in need, he finds himself taking a job as a more upstanding version of an escort service run by the illusive Danielle de Arithorn. When he shows interest in joining he turns his attention to Danielle directly, stepping clear over the line and bites the inside of his mouth get his blood on the tip of his tongue and uses that to stimulate the vampire’s lower regions. In doing so, he inadvertently binds himself to her, though doesn’t seem that bothered by the fact when she reveals it to him. Matthew does get the job to work for her company but has a few times he keeps for people outside of work as well, especially since his number is on the wall in both the men and women’s rooms of the bar he works at with the note: For a good time, call Matty 

(I love when my characters talk to one another, apparently he knows how to make the damn Dark and Stormy that Bill keeps trying to order and offered to make it for him.) 

I’m not sure what this guy’s name is just yet....but he came into my head because I keep seeing a lot of pictures of Billy from Scream every time I go looking for Skeet Ulrich and I started to wonder...what if he didn’t die at the end of the movie and was actually arrested and went to jail? Would he have blamed it all on Stu and gotten a shorter sentence? Would he have managed to convince someone that he hadn’t actually done the horrible things...or would it have been something darker...play the victim of circumstance and get out only to start doing worse? As far as I can tell, this guy’s not ACTUALLY from the Scream series but does have a lot of the same tell-tale actions. Him and another guy went on a killing spree, he was stabbed by one of his victims but because the house was a disaster and there were a lot of dead teens, he managed to play it up for a little while that he was just one of the ones that managed to survive it all. Unfortunately for him, the one survivor turned him over and he’s been in jail for the last 20 years. They couldn’t manage to pin ALL of the murders on him otherwise it would have been a death sentence, mostly because there was literally no proof he or the other guy did anything, they always wore gloves, they didn’t give off any particularly unsettling vibes that made people say ‘we always knew they were up to something’. While he’s spent all that time in jail it never really did much for his grasp on reality. He’s still pretty homicidal, now he’s just older and has had more of a chance to study his craft, even if it was behind bars. 

So...he’ll be fun. I’m not sure how quick I’ll get around to making him, we’re still arguing about where and when he’s going to be. 

@musesnotebook

[viltrumitesuperboy]

“I’m Spider-Man” (Peter Parker x Male Reader)

It’s Tom Holland’s birthday and I (finally) finished something yesterday.

Partially requested by: @rklf001

Peter tries to tell you that he's Spider-Man.

Word count: 1537

"I'm Spider-Man. I am... Peter. I. Am. Spider-Man. I am Spider-Man. I'm... gay. I'm bi. And I'm Spider-Man."

Peter groaned and hit his head on the mirror, sighing as he pushed himself back from it. He stared at his face in the mirror, sighing and trying a few more times.

"Peter, dinner!"

He left his room in defeat to wash his hands then went back to the kitchen to help set the table.

"Peter, are you still trying to talk to that friend of yours about being in love with him?" Aunt May asked with her hands on her hips.

He jumped, almost hitting his elbow on the counter as he was grabbing forks and plates.

"What? No! May, of course I don't like him that way," he sputtered out, rushing back to the dining table mostly to hide his face.

"I know you do. And I heard you in there," May said, placing a bowl down in the middle of the table. "You're trying to tell him you're Spider-man? Why?"

"I just... he's one of my few... only friends and I want to be able to trust him with that information. Ned already knows, I just have to tell (Y/N) and MJ," he said.

May smiled and put her hand on his shoulder, rubbing her thumb on his shirt as he looked away.

"Hey, look at me. Would you rather he found out the way Ned and I did? I mean, it was kind of funny but you know that you'll have to explain a lot more. And I'm sure he'll still be one of your best friends."

Peter started to smile and gave her a hug.

"Thanks, May."

"Take him to a museum."

"May!"

You and Peter were sitting on a large rock overlooking northern Central Park. The sun was up, and it was still morning. Families were playing together on the large patches of grass.

"Look. That kid just did a backflip!" you laughed in awe. "That's so cool."

Peter shifted, giving you an awkward smile when you turned to him.

"What's up?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, and turned your body to face him more.

"(Y/N), I... I am-"

"In love with me?"

His eyes widened as he stared at you in shock.

"I- no, that's- no!" he stuttered. "I mean it's true but that's not what I wanted to tell you!"

You laughed and put your hand on his shoulder.

"It's fine. MJ and Ned kept telling me and I didn't believe them. But then you started saying something that sounded like that so... I'm sorry," you sighed, putting your hand down and giving him an apologetic look.

"Do you wanna go to the Met?" Peter blurted out.

"Like, as a date or...?"

"Yeah."

"Then let’s go!"

"Peter, look at this!"

You pointed at a piece of armour and started to explain it.

"So, the Japanese were the first ones to use leather armour. It was much lighter than the metal armour the Europeans used, and it's tough so you can't get a sword through it that easily. And over here is the longbow the Mongols used! So much more efficient than crossbows, obviously with skill. Also, their system made a lot more sense. Europeans had a monarchy, but these guys did it by how useful with battle skill they were."

Peter listened to your rant and followed you as you speed walked to the different objects through the entire museum that caught your eye. You kept going through about four different sections before he stopped you.

"Sorry, but we've spent like 3 hours in these 4 sections. Do you wanna go get lunch and then come back?"

You checked your phone before awkwardly laughing, agreeing with him as you headed for the exit.

"I got carried away, I'm sorry," you said.

"No, it's okay. It was fun watching you get so hyper. That was like me when I- when I, uh, helped Ned with that Lego Death Star set," Peter replied.

"You hesitated."

"Wha- I mean it though!"

"Whatever you say, Peter."

After a lunch you shared in the park, you went back to the museum, this time on the left side. Once again, you were giving him just some of your knowledge of the historical subjects until you both reached the Greek and Roman sculptures section.

"I've read all the Percy Jackson books. I got this," you bragged, holding a hand out to Peter.

"I've read them multiple times through," Peter retorted. "I bet we don't even have to look at the plaques."

You both gave each other knowing glances before beginning at the first piece of art, immediately naming the Greek mythological character in it before giving each other a high five and laughing.

"Oh my god, we're actually nerds," you laughed.

"This could only be worse if we played Mythomagic," he responded, moving to the next piece.

"Maybe someone should make that game," you mumbled.

"Dionysus!"

"Dude, I was distracted! Not fair."

You both burst into another fit of giggles but moved on quickly when people around you began staring. As you continued through the many sculptures, Peter's hand found yours and you smiled just for a moment. Then he pulled you along and you couldn't stop smiling as you both continued to compete to name each character.

Once it was about 5 PM, you both exited the museum to the subway, hoping to get to Peter's place to hang out with Ned and MJ.

"Hey, uh, (Y/N)?" he suddenly said once you were both seated in the train car.

"What's up?" you answered, leaning in a little closer to hear him talk over the train's noise.

"I didn't meant to tell you that I really liked you romantically and that I wanted to take you out on a date. I mean, not today. I was planning to tell you that I... I am..." Peter trailed off.

He opted to take both your hands and fumble with them.

"Peter?"

"Well, first, I just want to say that today was really, really nice. And you were really cute today just talking about all the history and art stuff you know, not that you're not always cute. I just don't want your view of me to change when I tell you this one thing."

You furrowed your eyebrows before giving him a reassuring smile.

"You can tell me," you said quietly, squeezing his hands.

"(Y/N), I'm Spider-Man."

The rumbling train hid his voice from the rest of the world, but you heard him clearly.

"I-I'm sorry, what? You're joking, right?" you asked in shock, studying his face for any sign that he was lying.

"That's what I wanted to tell you earlier but you cut me off," he admitted, giving you a guilty look.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I mean, I guess I believe you? I don't really have proof for why not."

The train stopped at your station and he let go of one of your hands for both of you to leave, and you smiled at the fact that your hand was being held by a boy you had a massive crush on before remembering what you were just told. You both did a bit of a speedwalk to his apartment, all the while you peppering him with questions about being Spider-Man, his powers, how he hid his identity (to which he answered "I don't know" and he quickly pulled you into his room and shut the door.

He opened his bag and took his clothes off, everything but his boxers.

"What the- Peter!" you scolded.

He pulled the familiar red and blue outfit onto his body. It was extremely loose and seemed to just be a bad cosplay, but then he pressed the center and it tightened onto his slim body. He then reached in and pulled out two cylindrical objects out and the famous mask.

"You... I guess you are Spider-Man," you mumbled.

"I guess I am."

You took the mask, inspecting it and seeing the "face" of the person who had saved hundreds of people ever since he first appeared.

"I just wanted to be able to trust you with this. Ned found out by accident and so did May, so I wanted the person I really, really liked that I am, uh, Spider-Man," Peter quietly said, fumbling with what you figured were his web shooters. “By the way, I can do a backflip.”

"Well, I'm glad you told me. All those things."

You pulled him into a hug, enjoying the embrace of someone you cared about deeply.

"I should take this off. MJ and Ned are coming over and MJ doesn't know."

"Right, right."

You both reluctantly pulled back and he put his regular clothing back on, shoving his suit into his closet as you both smiled at each other. The ringer that let you know someone was downstairs rang and he suddenly leaned over and pressed a kiss to your cheek. He rushed out his room to answer it, and you blushed as you watched him leave. It seemed that you needed to go on more dates with him if you wanted more of those kisses.

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

<<Prev | Next>>

Part 18

"Are you sure I can't help with any of that?" Angel asked. 

"Would you let someone who doesn't know anything about your culture's food help make it?" Demie said, looking over his shoulder to where Angel sat at the kitchen table. 

"Dude, my parents both worked sixty hour weeks," Angel said with a shrug. "I grew up on Kraft mac and cheese and Bagel Bites." 

"Ew," Demie said, wrinkling his nose. He had no idea what Bagel Bites were, but he'd seen Elaine make mac and cheese out of those bright blue boxes. The stuff looked positively radioactive. 

He turned back to what he'd been doing. He had very much wanted to make dolma - it felt befitting for having a guest over for the first time in his entire life - but Elaine had been very firm when he gave her the shopping list that she was not going to drive to Charleson in search of grape leaves and pine nuts. So he had to make due with tomatokeftedes and patzaria. 

Currently, he had the fritters chilling in the freezer and the potatoes mashed, and was in the process of peeling cucumbers for tzatziki. He had had the good sense to make the beets a day before. 

"So, you're like… really into food, huh?" Angel asked. 

"I'm Greek, of course I'm into food," Demie said absent-mindedly as he pulled a knife and the sharpening rod out of the knife block on the counter. 

"No, I mean like…" Angel paused as Demie swiftly drew the blade along the steel before dropping the rod back into the knife block. He sliced the cucumber down the center lengthwise and then chopped the vegetable with the speed and skill of a trained chef. 

"Like you said you have a garden, and you clearly made those goat treats yourself, and you can do that with a knife…" 

"I make my own cheese, too," Demie said.

"Omigod, really? Are we having some with all this?" 

"None of these recipes really use feta…" Demie said. He was loath to do anything in the recipes that hadn't been taught to him by his grandmother. Angel made a noise of disappointment, though, and Demie looked over his shoulder at him. "Why, do you really like feta that much?" 

"I don't think I've ever actually had any, I just really want to try homemade cheese," Angel said. "Especially if it's made by you." 

Demie felt the tips of his ears get hot, but he couldn't really figure out why. No one had ever been impressed by his cooking before. Then again, the only people he'd ever cooked for were Marius and Elaine. Marius would always compare Demie's cooking to their grandmother's, and Elaine had the most garbage tastes in food he'd ever seen, so neither of them were particularly enthusiastic about what he made. 

"Uh… I mean, if you really want some, there's some in the fridge," Demie said, nodding over his other shoulder at the fridge. 

He saw Angel start to stand up out of the corner of his eye, but right at the same time, the front door opened. Both he and Angel stopped and turned towards it, to see Elaine step inside. Her hair and arms were covered in sawdust, no doubt from trimming lumber at the hardware store, and she looked even more pissed than usual. 

"Oh, hi!" Angel said. His voice was bright and chipper, and felt entirely out of place in the trailer. No one was ever that happy in this place. 

"I'm Angel," he said, holding out his hand. 

Elaine narrowed her eyes, looking at the hand offered to her. "I know," she said, and stopped off towards her bedroom. 

"Did I say something wrong?" Angel asked, turning to look at Demie. 

"Nah, Elaine's just a huge bitch," he replied. He swept the ingredients on the cutting board into the blender and blitzed it on high. The vintage machine complained loudly, the blade sputtering as the engine tried to generate enough power to move. Demie felt extremely self-conscious. The blender, along with everything else in the trailer, needed to be replaced, but there was no money for it. Most of the time he just put up with it, but having an outsider see how he lived made him feel deeply inadequate. 

Finally the blender managed to work the cucumbers into a chunky paste, and he set it aside, turning his attention to the stove. 

"What's that?" Angel asked as Demie poured oil from a large plastic jug into a large pan. 

"Uh, peanut oil," Demie said, lifting up the jug and looking at the label. "It's supposed to be healthier than canola oil." 

"No, I mean, what were you humming just now?" 

The heat spread from Demie's ears across his face. He hadn't even noticed that he'd been humming. It just sort of came naturally. Music was just ingrained into his life - it had been, ever since he was a kid. Cooking, gardening, herding… basically anything that required any sort of care towards another living thing, his family would hum or sing to. There was no proof their voices affected food or plants or animals like it did people, but there was always the possibility that maybe they could make the food taste a bit better, or the plants grow a bit fuller, or the animals act a bit more tame. 

He didn't really know how to explain that to Angel, though, so he just mumbled something that he wasn't even sure were words. 

When the oil started shimmering, the tomato fritters came out of the freezer and went into the pan. They sizzled and splattered, and Demie had to jump back just a little. Most things in the kitchen didn't bother him, but the stove was just about at crotch height for him, and he'd splattered hot oil on his balls enough times to know it wasn't pleasant. 

That was another thing he was self conscious about - he was technically naked from the waist down around another dude. Of course, he was always naked from the waist down. He didn't see the point in wearing pants; they just seemed constricting, especially since his knees and ankles were anatomically in different places than a human's. But he did technically just have his ass and balls out around a gay guy, and that was kind of weird. 

He didn't have too much time to think about that, though. He had to keep an eye on the tomatokeftedes so that they didn't get too dark, fishing them out of the pan and laying them to dry on a piece of paper towel. Next he got the beets out of the fridge and got two clean, but mismatched, plates out of the cabinet to serve the food. 

"This smells amazing," Angel said as Demie set the plate down on the table in front of him. "I don't think I've ever had Greek food before. Except gyros, are gyros Greek?" 

"It's pronounced yee-rohs," Demie said as he sat down in the other chair. "But I've never had food from wherever you're from, so whatever." Was that racist to say? He wasn't sure. Angel was Asian, and Demie thought he could remember him saying something about his ethnicity, but he couldn't remember what it was. 

"You've never had pho?" Angel asked. 

"I don't exactly eat out," Demie said. 

"You don't even get delivery?" 

"Delivery from where? Billy Brook has like one shitty diner." 

"Oh, right." Angel looked a little bit embarrassed, and quickly took a bite of food. "This is amazing," he said after he swallowed. 

"It's alright," Demie responded, picking at his plate. 

"You don't really take compliments well, do you?" Angel asked. 

Demie had to stop and think about it. Did he? "I guess I'm just not used to getting any," he said. 

"Aww," Angel made a sad noise. Demie looked up to see him pouting. He couldn't help but snort. 

"Dude, what the fuck?" 

Angel's face broke into a smile. The corners of Demie's mouth reflexively lifted in response. He felt weird - he didn't smile a lot, but seeing Angel smile wanted him to do so, as well. It was kind of like how performing made him feel less anxious and empty inside, but multiplied by ten.

"Can I ask you something?" Demie said. 

"Sure." 

"Do you actually listen to heavy metal? No offense, you just don't seem very… hardcore." 

"Yes, I listen to heavy metal," Angel replied. His tone was a little strained, a little annoyed. 

"What bands?" 

"Is this a test?" Angel narrowed his eyes at Demie. 

"Huh? No? I just… just wanna know, I guess." 

"Well," Angel said with a dramatic sigh, "back in middle school, I knew this kid, he was a few years older than me… he was a total metalhead - a lot like you, actually. With the hair and the beard, at least, not a goatman, I mean. But no one would really hang out with him, because he wore a trenchcoat and stuff. But no one would hang out with me, either, because I was the one Asian kid in school. So we just kinda wound up hanging out together, since there was no one else to hang out with. And he turned me on to Korn and Slipknot and from there I just fell down a rabbithole, y'know?" 

Demie furrowed his brow. "Seriously?" 

"What?" 

"Korn? Slipknot?" 

"What's wrong with them?" Angel asked. 

"Nothing," Demie said. He wasn't really sure how to word it. They just weren't… great. 

"Oh? So who do you listen to, then?" Angel asked, aggressively pointing his fork at Demie. 

"Uh, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Slayer…" 

"Oh, and you're going to judge my tastes in metal, when you listen to the most basic metal bands ever?" 

"Hey, no, I listen to other stuff. Like… Blind Guardian, Labyrinth, Rhapsody of Fire…" 

"Yeah, you would listen to Blind Guardian," Angel muttered. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means you definitely seem like the kinda guy who'd listen to nerd metal." 

"What!? Blind Guardian aren't for nerds, they're like one of the most influential European power metal bands--" 

"Yeah, who sing about their LARP campaigns." 

 "They aren't for nerds!" 

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU'RE BOTH FUCKING LOSERS THAT I'D BEAT UP FOR LUNCH MONEY," Elaine bellowed from her room. 

Angel glanced over his shoulder, then back to Demie. They were both silent for a minute, but then Angel's face cracked into a smile and he wheezed, and all of a sudden they were both laughing.

[eclecticash22]

For the anon asking about the Norma Jeane anon! LD goes into more depth on this.

**Trigger Warning: sexual themes, self harm, suicide**

Also, before you begin reading I want to make sure that we’re on the same page. No judgment is welcome here. Anon doesn’t want to be judged and I do not want to see judgment. You’re entitled to your opinion, but if you have anything negative to say, then I ask that you keep it to yourself. This is a judgment free zone and it will not be tolerated! Thank you for being kind human beings.

Hi this is LD from the Norma Jeane ask. I was gonna answer this in your ask but the letter limit made it hard to explain. I ask that when you post this that my username remains unknown. To respond to the other anon, I asked another psychic on tumblr who I was in a past life. She said a European woman between the 50’s-70’s. Now I’m not sure what made me decide to look up Marilyn Monroe but I did and I just felt something. I’ve looked into her and we really have a lot of similarities and synchronicities. Our childhood is similar. My mother is someone that part of me loves but another part would rather stay away. My dad is in my life, but as rarely as we see each other he may as well be absent. Norma Jeane would go to the beach with her mom sometimes and she’s always loved the beach. The beach for me is one of the few places where all of my worries disappear. I overthink a lot. But being at the beach, there’s just one thing on my mind and that’s the water. ( I’m also the same person that asked you if I was a mermaid sorry😅). Anyway, like Norma Jeane I’ve also been sexualized at a young age. Like her, it started with ppl in my family. Idk i just always seemed to attract ppl in that way. I had mixed feelings about it at first. I loved the feeling of sex, craved it lots of times(I heard that not everyone who has been sexually exposed at a young se stays away from sex and the opposite may happen instead). However on the other hand, I felt dirty for the ppl that I’ve had those intimate moments with. It was never rape because i was never forced. It would just be suggested by a friend or cousin and I would give in. I always had a hard time saying no to ppl. I felt guilty and ashamed whenever I would touch myself( I probably should’ve warned from the beginning that this might get a bit sexual). However, I’m starting to embrace my sexuality and am learning that whatever attracts ppl to me is my own kind of power, so long as nobody takes advantage of that. I’ve never been in any foster home or orphanages but I remember my mom threatening me a lot of times about cps taking me away and telling me I would live in a foster home. I’ve stayed in numerous of different people’s households. Some family members. Some friends who I clung to( I think I have abandonment issues, I get very attached to ppl I like). Idk I was just always looking to stay with a family that wasn’t my own. I’m also very shy now in contrast to my friendly younger self. Despite that I’ve always been told that I’m good with words and speaking. I’ve always loved reading and am good at writing, although I don’t really like writing much. If you knew that Marilyn Monroe loved to read and wrote poetry, then congratulations you know more about her than most ppl who walk around with her on shirts and posters of her on their walls for aesthetic reasons( something that bothered me at first but whatever). I’ve also been into acting. My mom told me that I was good with speaking in public and that I should try it. She encouraged me to join in middle school but my shyness and fear of being embarrassed or made fun of prevented me from doing that. I tried out tho in high school. Although that was short lived because the theatre teacher left, she told me that I was good and I enjoyed acting very much. Animals are something else that I really loved. I always wanted a dog, but because I’ve lived in apartments almost my whole life, I always ended up with fish, which was probably a sign from my higher self that I was a mermaid but that’s a different story. I’m sorry I’m all over the place and I keep losing track. There’s just so many things to cover. Los Angeles is another place I’ve been interested in going to. Specifically Sherman Oaks. That’s because I had an obsession with the late Cameron Boyce, who now that I look back on had a few things in common with Marilyn Monroe, such as height, where he lived, being an actor, writing poetry, and dying at such an untimely age. My walk is something else that I think we have in common.

This doesn’t happen often because it’s not really noticeable, but every now and then someone would point out how I would twist or how my hips would sway whenever I walked. My mom looked at me funny once when I was younger when I walked in front of her. This is because I’m a guy. A bisexual guy specifically, which makes sense since Marilyn has been with many men. Maybe she’s been with a few women as well, or maybe I’m fully gay and just won’t accept it yet idk. I’ve always been feminine as well. I don’t identify as a woman, but I do feel like one lots of times. I’ve also been told a few times that i should be a model, mainly I think because of my long legs. A trait Marilyn also had. Maybe because of my face too but I don’t think I’m THAT good looking. Then again, there were ppl who didn’t find Marilyn attractive enough either. I’ve also been in a mental hospital once. I’ve had suicidal thoughts and even tried it a few times. I’ve seen a therapist, and right now, with how I’ve currently been feeling I wonder if I’m bipolar. I also suffer from insomnia and anxiety. Again, if you know more about Marilyn Monroe than just looks and glamour than you’ll understand. I also love the 50’s aesthetics. Although I’m a fan of the 80’s and 90’s as well so ig that probably doesn’t mean much. I love roses and been interested in gardening. I’ve also always wanted to live in one of those Spanish homes. I always found them beautiful.I love love. I love men, I love children. I have a lot of fantasies. Part of those fantasies are of being with various men(I’m not getting into details). But other fantasies involves being with a secure, fun, intelligent man who really loves me and having children. Which is weird since I’m a guy but Marilyn has always wanted to marry with a man she really loves, have kids, and be a good wife. After she settles down and retires from her career ofc. It hurts me so much that none of my relationships seem to last. They always leave. I’m currently trying to recover from a “break up” right now. I’ve determined my beauty and value based on how many guys are attracted to me, which is cruel and untrue. There are times when I feel like I can’t really live and be happy without someone by my side. I have a huge fear of being alone and rejected and unhappy my entire life. Just the thought depresses me. I can’t express enough how much I’ve loved and gotten attached to boys, thinking I would be loved back and live a life together, only to be heartbroken. I think in this life, I have to learn lessons that I didn’t learn in my past life to not depend so much on men to keep me happy and that I shouldn’t get so attached. Not all relationships are forever. There are probably more similarities but that’s all I can think of for now, and this is long enough already. Now, even with all of these similarities it still doesn’t prove that i was Marilyn Monroe. I’m pretty sure a lot of ppl can relate to most if not all of what I just said. So I went to you Ash to ask if Joe DiMaggio was my twin flame in my past life(yes that was me too Ash I’m so sorry). I feel like Marilyn and Joe were twin flames in that life and I’ve had dreams of this guy who looks very similar and have similar characteristics to Joe. When you told me Joe DiMaggio was in fact my twin flame, I saw this as another confirmation that I could’ve been Marilyn Monroe in a past life, however I still couldn’t be 100% sure so I decided to just pop the question I really wanted. I asked Ash if I was a girl named Norma Jeane. I didn’t feel comfortable saying Marilyn Monroe because I didn’t want to be seen as those egocentric nut jobs who claim to be the reincarnation of famous ppl. I also knew less ppl would know who Norma Jeane is compared to if I put Marilyn Monroe. In fact it’s these very reasons why I’m hoping that what I’m telling you doesn’t get out of hand. I don’t like TOO much attention and I don’t want to be backlashed for believing in this. Speaking of which, Marilyn also

Didn’t like all of the attention and invasion of privacy a while after being famous. She would walk around in “disguises” and give fake names whenever she checked into hotels. Which is somewhat similar to things I’ve done before. Marilyn and I both seemed to be secretive and enjoy our privacy. Not that we weren’t honest or open, it’s just not everyone needs to know everything you know. Also I’ve always said that I wanted to die in my sleep. I’ve always said that because I wanted to die a peaceful and painless death, not knowing that I did die in my sleep in my past life. Anyway, yeah so I asked if I was Norma Jeane and I got a yes, which was a relief. I’m sorry anon that this probably what you wasn’t looking for. I didn’t have any psychic moments. I didn’t have any dreams or recall any memories. Marilyn Monroe didn’t appear to me and tell me that I was her in a past life. Everything that I learned is only due to research, signs, intuition, and these two lovely and helpful tumblr psychics that I mentioned. Ofc part of me will always have doubts whether or not I really am Marilyn Monroe. It’s only natural to have doubts. Just like how I have my doubts if I’m really a mermaid in the astral or spirit realm or afterlife or whatever you call it. But until I get proof that I’m not Marilyn Monroe or a mermaid or that Joe DiMaggio wasn’t her twin flame, I will go on believing these things to be true or at least a possibility. But I’ll never be 100% sure until I’m dead. This has honestly been painful to talk about considering I’m bringing up not only my past life but also my past in THIS life, which some of it still hurts. But it’s been nice sharing this. Thank you❤️.

*Hey, LD! Thank you for sharing your story. And no need to apologize for asking about being a mermaid or Joe DiMaggio! I’m happy to answer your questions  ❤️ ❤️ *

[migleefulmoments]

CrissColfer Strategy #2

This piece was posted on 2/19/20 but it is originally from 2018 prior to LM/DC. It’s always amusing to read their theories about big upcoming changes in Darren’s love life in light of the fact that Mia has been a steady force in Darren’s life for 10 years.

Here they are debating whether Lea will be Darren’s new beard- a theory that required them to ignore both Mia and Zandy. In this post we see justcantgetenoughcc using the “trust me I know more than you do but I can’t share it” strategy. Honestly, this is the one that baffles me the most. While I can see the slow-motion gifs for what they are- pure manipulation, I know that TLOS isn’t the Klaine bible they want it to be and I can understand how other’s can be conned with that evidence. What I can’t understand is why anyone would trust someone who continues to say “I know more than you do but I can’t share it with you...just trust me”.  Those very words are literally the exact words that should raise one’s caution flag. Mommas, the one thing you should teach your children is to never trust someone who claims to know the truth but can’t share any evidence. Especially if that story goes on for 5 or 10 years.

***********************************

ilikesomedistance There was a discussion many years ago, that they (PR and F/ox) wanted to bring Lea and Darren together. But it never worked out for many reasons.

Guess it’s happening now.

stopandimaginelove  But whyyyyyyyyyyyyy 🤐

justcantgetenoughcc Interesting question.

The primary reason was always to break Chris and Darren up.

RM/Ricky all playing together. AB imo not that invested but to a degree (at least initially). Even beard (she realized what she can have by getting rid of Chris and why she too is very much part of the game now). Each had their own reason for being invested, as Chris and Darren in love and united as a team, made it difficult to manipulate Darren. In a way, that - Darren and Chris in love - was also their Achilles heel. Each put the other ones’ interest first - and got manipulated in giving up their autonomy. Chris had nothing to hide as he was already out. Why would he even need a beard? They were so young and so naïve to Hollywood’s manipulation tactics. I don’t think they had anyone with industry experience, with their interests at heart, to advise them or look out for them. It was too late and they were in too deep, by the time they realized what they had agreed to. They still tried to back out of some of their worst mistakes. Some day… they will tell those stories or it will turn up in Chris’s books.

Initially people assumed that all that proximity and playing boyfriends onscreen - and no doubt their amazing chemistry - must be why they were together. I am sure they thought it will never last or they will get over it or get tired of it and move on to others once the itch was scratched. Like most young guys (as young gay guys - not my opinion at all - but a lot of people believe that).

But it didn’t happen that way. They didn’t break up. Instead they went and got engaged over Dec 2012/NYE 2013 (that was from when we have the pic of Chris looking at his ring standing next to his suitcase at an airport). They were serious from the get-go. They were ‘IT’ for each other.  They were even living together (even before Glee Live 2011 - in Chris’s first rented apartment in LA). I think it was Joey who once commented that he saw Darren only when he needed more clothes (Don’t quote me on it though. Ha). When Chris bought his first home in Laurel Canyon, guess who moved in there with him? It wasn’t W as most of the fandom was led to believe. There’s enough proof in their own words and since this is going to be a long post, I am going to leave some of those details out of this. And some I can’t reveal.

Why do you think LU Tour happened? It was another attempt to break them up and also to get Darren to declare his longtime gf of a hundred years. There was no way Darren would agree to it when Chris and Darren are together. And so his team came up with the clever “DIVIDE and CONQUER” tactic. Get Darren away from Chris and break him down.

Nothing ELSE came out of LU tour and so I am right in my assumption here.

A Darren who missed Chris on the road, who was mentally and physically exhausted from his days on the tour… gave in… WITH TEARS… a heartbroken Darren was FORCED to declare a gf - reading from a script, answering questions from a script, at the Toronto Radio Interview - WHILE he was already ENGAGED to CHRIS.  There are many ways I can cement the claims I am making. But they are NOT mine to share.

If you doubt me, that the intent ALWAYS was to break them up (come on guys! connect the dots!), so much has been exposed in the last two years, especially in the last six months.

Why were they forced to have beards? It wasn’t FOX (in fact there's a story not known to many that FOX was going to let Chris and Darren come out (heck they even knew of their engagement - again stories that I cannot reveal) but others disagreed/disapproved of that move and stopped it). Some of the old fandom crowd know of this. Why were their beards ALONE always allowed access to the glee set? Why were M and W paraded so much on the sets? Why was the beard woman given a job at FSO (where she did nothing really but was given free credit for work others did). Chris was already OUT. He was a grown up guy who always took care of himself even when he was much younger.

During 5.14 filming in NYC, it was clear that the film crew took care of Chris and Darren. All their needs on the set was met along with the rest of the cast present (Amber, Chord, Kevin, Lea and Darren). Even holding up their winter coats for them to slip their arms through. W didn’t do anything other than obstruct the filming (and there were a lot of complaints about W and he had to be told many times to move out of the crews way). Do you think Chris paid for W to accompany him to NYC where he wasn’t needed at all? Who had the most to gain from that decision to have W there?

The beards were ALWAYS meant to WEAR THE GUYS DOWN. To create discord between them. To grate on their nerves. To be a thorn in their side. You get the drift.  It still didn’t work. Those two guys still stayed strong.  

Yes, there was an attempt to END KLAINE early in S6 and use Darren/Blaine as Lea/Rachel’s LI and have them be the prime couple who got married to each other (instead of a Finchel wedding that RM always talked about) at the SERIES Finale. That didn’t work either. That story is known to many in the fandom. But is not mine to tell.

Look at all the attempts made to prevent Darren and Chris coming out. Since 2015.

I have repeated this so many times since 2015 and am going to repeat it ONE LAST TIME for the people who have joined the fandom since 2015.

Glee was filming the last season. Beards were barely on the set even with all the heavy make-out scenes (heavier Kliss scenes, emotional scenes, the elevator scene, the wedding, future Klaine etc). Guess everyone felt bearding was ending too as Glee only had a few more months left. We got the NOW FAMOUS BTS interview from the ranch - the day the Klaine wedding was being filmed - where Chris and Darren were interviewed by Leanne Aguilera (and not M). Where they admitted so much and looked radiant and vibrant. Best of all they admitted to being good friends in real life.

Then we got the Ellen Show where Darren and Chris interacted and wrote each others names (not to mention the incident where Chord slipped up and mentioned meeting Chris and Darren. Nothing dramatic happened by way of reaction or retaliation from PR).  Then came the Paleyfest and the Mario Lopez radio Interview - where Chris was present with Darren and Mario in the recording room. We counted Chris’s laughter interspersed  - at least five times. It wasn’t edited out. We rioted over all of those events repeatedly. It was like the CC drought was finally over. They were allowed to breathe free. And acknowledge each other. Say they were good friends with each other.

[We have proof on several claims I make here and are known to a lot of people but we can’t share them yet].

We knew they went on a European vacation that ended in Paris where Darren had to attend the CON with a few other Glee cast. Darren alone didn’t stay at the hotel where the CON was held, where the rest of the cast stayed. Ask yourself why. Darren returns to NYC and starts rehearsing for Hedwig Broadway that starts mid-April. Everyone was happy and there were several SM follows of both Darren and Chris back to back by Hedwig Crew and BTS crowd. Lot of happy tweets and fun stuff.

It felt like Darren had a few more months left to freedom. Chris plans his TLOS4 book tour around Darren’s closing show at Belasco - so that he can sit in the audience and not watch from the shadows as he did during the first 119 days of the run. Alla Plotkin, Chris’s publicist, allowed it and supported it (if there were any known contracts or clauses that prohibited Chris’s presence at the closing show, Alla wouldn’t have /couldn’t have allowed it) and planned the whole tour accordingly with Chris.  

So close to freedom and to coming out… and then out of the blue, Darren’s perfectly written Broadway BIO was edited to a mess of a BIO and  ‘xos to mia’ was included. Overnight Darren’s personal life got hijacked by a scheming woman and Darren’s manager. Eleni who was a longtime good friend of Jeff Jernigan, was appointed as Darren’s assistant (watchdog) at Belasco. Darren who hadn’t even seen or heard from the beard for many months, and Darren who had never displayed any real closeness to the woman - posts a dressing room kiss (long story about that too. (Read mleigh69’s post on how the Belasco kiss was staged).

From there on, everything went to hell in a hand basket. All their hopes and plans were dashed.

From that time to the present, how closely Darren is monitored and watched and babysat…is ridiculous. Darren has more people on his secret service detail,  sometimes more than even the President himself (it feels like). He sang 4 songs in Utah recently and he had Ricky, AB, Jeff Jernigan, Eleni, beard and Ken Sunshine (the boss of Sunshine Sachs) with him in Utah.

All their attempts to coming out was thwarted. Chris wasn’t allowed to attend the Hedwig closing show even though he had timed it to end the day before, giving him time enough to fly to NYC from LA. Chris who had never made a career misstep, chose to put his reputation as a children’s book author on the line by acting drunk - just so he could get on a plane to NYC. He had to watch the closing show from the shadows but am sure that was preferable to being beaten or giving in to two conniving people.

Even the ENCAGE was partially to stop CrissColfer from coming out. See what the encage did. All of Darren’s commitments and obligations were OVER AND DONE with by then… except for the NOOSE called the encage now. That was pretty timely, wasn’t it?

Why is Darren going on a tour with Lea Michele when Lea’s album was poorly received and didn’t do well at all? All her shows failed. She really has nothing much going on.  Hmmmm…

If am guessing, let me be wrong for one last time… WHAT IF IT IS TO KEEP CHRIS AND DARREN APART? As all their attempts and excuses to prevent Chris and Darren FROM COMING OUT ARE EXHAUSTED?

So now there are tours and MORE TOURS… where Darren's TEAM THINKS he has to remain NO HOMO for the tours to sell. They quickly got him committed to a LONDON concert while ACS was still airing.

Now ACS is over.

And sure enough, just as the ENCAGE IS COMING APART AT THE SEAMS… we have THE LM/DC TOUR!!!!

tahtah678

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Hi Mod, I want to submit a long confession but I’m aware it’s not totally doll related, more like “constructing characters” related and I would understand I you chose not to publish it as it’s quite long. Anyway, thank you for your work and for this blog :)

Mod: Kindness gets you everywhere, Nonny -

I wanted to react on the gay fetishization subject (warning, not a native english speaker here) : I grew up as a yaoi fangirl very young, as soon I got my hands on the Internet at the tender age of 11, back in 2000. I read everytime and evrything and had an appeal for gay-centric stories (m/m and f/f) as I felt they were less « mushy » than your usual shojo manga : compare let’s say Fushigi Yugi to Banana Fish that I discovered at the same time, so not the same.

I wrote bad “yaoi” fanfictions early, trying to steer clear of the stereotypes but miserably failing. I was so young and stupid.

For context, I’m also a middle-class white girl living in a « rich » european country. Can you smell the privileges ? But I was aware that I was a lucky girl, even if those issues were less much discussed than today.

I despised (and still do) the term « Fujoshi » for Yaoi fangirls. Fujoshi are not what I identify with : Fujoshi are hardcore yaoi fans with a fetish that despise het relationships in fiction when themselves are 98% heterosexual. I just wanted somewhat realistic romantic relationships between cute male characters in shows where female characters were just dumb, boring or inexistants, as it’s still often the case today unfortunately.

Today when rereading my fanfictions I just want to laugh and claw my eyes out at the same time. I reworked slightly some of them but I chose to let them online with the disclaimer that I was very young at the time and with my apologies for the bad characterisation. I looked at those writings like an old shame to bury, now they’re more like a proof that I grew up and improved, even a little in the « slash department ». I honestly don’t think there were truly offensive things in my writing even as a very young person but I’m always willing to learn from my mistakes if they’re pointed out to me (some were, and I apologised and corrected).

This helped me develop and construct my characters, that I have with myself since I was in primary school, too. Internet helped me do that, working and improving on characterisation, of OCs, of fanworks, of my perception of the world and of the other people. And finally, I can shell them into a solid body with dolls having endless possibilities. It’s like this hobby was the one thing I was missing to finally translate my characters in the real world, and I’m immensely grateful for that, for the community and for those blogs where we can speak up on anon (or not), be judged, be helped, learn, respond and so on. It’s hard creating stories and characters that truly works, with believable behavior and I love seeing your characters, what you do with them and how they evolve in time. For me, this is the core of how I see our hobby, and I love that. So thank you.

~Anonymous

[jinniesmeow]

good evening. this is a very long rant. if you’ve been tagged in this, it means I have a message for you :’) it’s at the bottom of the post, and that’s the most important part, so dear mutuals, feel free to just go read that part and don’t feel forced to read all that bullcrap I've written. thank you if you do, thank you if you don’t. 

if we’re not mutuals and you’re reading this, well I guess thank you because this is hella long and cliché af. I'm sorry to everyone for this. though it kinda has nothing to do with what I'm saying, I was feeling particularly gay tonight and I'm in my feelings right now so yeah. if you’re willing to read, just click, you know how that works. 

first of all, hello. thank you if you’re reading this, whether we’re mutuals or not, this isn’t a private post so if you’re reading this, hello to you, I hope you’re having a wonderful night or day and I guess sorry for what you’re about to read if it’s considered TMI. I don’t know everyone on here so I'll start with the basics. I’m zia, aka users jinniesmeow, yunholy, hwangitzy and very recently yuzukhei. I'm (almost) 19, and in case you didn’t know, I'm French. and Italian, fortunately or not, idk. 100% European and white anyway, and my ancestors were all 100% racist and homophobic (I mean Poland and Italy? come on.). My sister, who’s turning 23 this year (she’s not on Tumblr), and myself are the first generation in my family to be queer on whichever side of it it is you’re looking at. 

Indeed, (if you didn’t know somehow, now you do) both her and I are pansexual. thankfully, our mom is far from being homophobic and racist and she’s a very open minded person, like really. neither of us have ever had a coming out, and none of us plan on doing it. I totally understand the necessity for some people to come out to their relatives and all that, but here’s why I personally refuse to do it: I don’t get why I have to tell people I'm not straight. I think it only fuels the fact that being straight is seen as the norm, because do straight people ever announce they are straight? exactly. being queer (gay, lesbian, pan, ace, whatever) is not abnormal, it’s not unnatural, so I refuse to have to scream it to everyone, and I don’t mean by that that I'm trying to hide my queerness, because I'm very open and honest about it, and I always have been. I hope one day, we won’t need to come out anymore and that people will stop assuming our sexuality. until then, I'll let people get flustered whenever I imply that I'm not straight without having ever stated it clearly before because fuck that shit. 

anygays. so, like I said, I've always been very open and honest about my romantic and sexual orientation. I know lots of bi/pan people “realise” they are queer when they’re a bit older, during their teenage years or early adulthood, but (un)fortunately I am not one of those. I have literally always known I liked girls too (in the first place, I mean). actually, I’ve always thought attraction and romance were about the person, like, I mean it was an evidence to me ever since I was a child, and how can I explain that I got slapped in the face when I discovered that it was not a universal thing, that it was not “the truth”. so there I was, in the middle of elementary school, openly saying I liked girls in front of everyone because I thought it was normal. I mean, it is, but you get what I mean. 

on top of that, the term “pansexual” has been occulted and invalidated for years, and most people didn’t even know of it until like maybe 3 years ago. remember, I'm 19, and there I was in middle school at 13 years old telling people I was pansexual when they’d barely even heard of bisexuality (while everyone else was like ‘I'm straight!! ew the gays’ btw). honestly, I cannot count how many times I've been called a pedophile, a necrophile and zoophile. by my very own friends, yes. 

same with high school, but I'm not going to repeat myself. just for the precision: no, I have never been physically or mentally bullied for that, however, I was mocked a lot because of how tall I am (I was 1m73/5′7 at 14) and because I can be quite androgynous since I don’t have big boobs. I have large hips though, so those fucking males didn’t miss the chance to pick on me for that too. obviously though if I've never been full on bullied it’s because: 1. I've always had friends and I've never been a ‘loner nerd’, 2. I was tall and intimidating, 3. I was respected for my intelligence and grades and wasn’t being full of myself about being a top student, and 4. because I was neither fat nor a person of colour, obviously, and those are privileges I'm very aware of. I have still been called a ‘woman with a dick’ and other transphobic shit and was often treated as if I were a boy, though. 

I still identify as a girl. I have been so, so complexed about so many things about my physical appearance for so long, I can’t count how many hours I have spent looking at my naked reflection in the mirror, feeling disgusted, wishing I had bigger boobs and that I would “look more like a girl” and so on. how much I have hated my body is something I can’t even measure. as of today, I've realised there is no such thing as “looking like a girl” and I've made a lot of progress on liking my overall appearance and accepting my body, sometimes I even think I'm hot™ and definitely think men don’t deserve me but for some fucking reason I can’t choose my sexuality (crazy right) and I still am attracted both romantically and sexually to them :/ 

anyways. now you know how long I've known that I'm a pansexual and throughout all these years, every time someone talked about the community or when pride came, no one mentioned us pansexuals, and I've seen us being invalidated so many times I really started doubting myself. I was like, “it’s like being bisexual, I'm just being butthurt and pushing it too far” but at the same time I never stopped calling myself pansexual. to some people, it’s just a preference in the choice of words to say you’re bi or pan, but to me there is a difference, even if it’s the smallest ever, and yes. being bi and being pan are “basically the same thing” and both orientations are very close but that very difference means everything to me. I am attracted to people, romantically and sexually, regardless of their gender. that is exactly it. and it’s very important to me.

I'm sorry if this is a mess, it’s hard to say things in the right order when I have so much to say, but I'm going to go back to what I was saying in the beginning about my family. I talked about my mom. my parents have been separated since I was 6 and haven’t spoken to each other in like 12 years btw. so, as for my dad, I know he wouldn’t care. he’s not homophobic, not racist. he does say homophobic and racist things sometimes, without realising it, like a lot of people do, and that doesn’t make him a homophobe. I know he doesn’t care if I'm gay, and I feel good just knowing that. however, remember, my family is italian. everyone around us is 100% straight (except for my cousins, I'm pretty sure one of them is bi-curious and the other is ace, but they aren’t open about this at all and have probably never questioned their sexuality lmao) and then there are my sister and I in the middle of it, and we’re like “yup, we’re the gay cousins”. the italian side of my family is huge. like really, my father has a total of 24 cousins (and I don’t mean the little ones and all that, I mean first degree cousins), so imagine how many of us there are in total when you’re counting everyone’s kids, spouses, grandkids and great-grandkids (you read that well, some of his cousins are old, some are even deceased). and they’re italian. and 100% into their religious set of mind that has them believe their god forbids being gay and that we’ll burn in hell. whatever, would’ve been going there anyway, gay or not so it’s not like I care, all the more reasons to be a fag. 

and yes I have proof they are racist and homophobic, I've heard the things they’ve said. so, I, whomst has had depression for basically all her life and also has every existing form of anxiety there is, don’t exactly feel comfortable around these people. and on top of being gay, I listen to “Ching Chong music”!!! how do I have to put into words that I know exactly what they think of me? I even have blue hair now so like, blending in even less than before. so yeah. 

to add on to that feeling of worthlessness, when I entered high school, I was still a top student without doing any type of work whatsoever, but then depression got the best of me (like for real this time how am I even still alive tbh) and I fell so hard I could barely stand going to school anymore. my last two years of high school (it lasts 3 years in France) have been disastrous. I barely attended and could barely manage keeping my grades above average, because I had zeros on 99% of my homework since I never did it. still had good enough grades on tests though, and it saved my ass. 

honestly, I don’t even want to talk about these years and how I was feeling, because it’s still too fresh for me and I'm stil trying (yes, trying) to heal from it. I can say without a doubt that they were some of the worst years of my life though. however final exams came and my ass managed to get a really good grade without revising anything, this way I could send a big, huge, fuck off to my teachers who had been shitting in my face for years and making me feel like the hugest shit on earth. I hope they choke on their jealousy. then I went to uni for about three months, where I majored in English, but eventually decided to stop because I couldn’t go a day without having a panic attack on the train, because I still couldn’t get my ass to do any work, because I was bored out of my mind and just when I had started feeling better after leaving high school I was sinking further down. I spent months staying home without seeing anyone but my mom and doing nothing but watching Netflix (the French catalogue isn’t as interesting as the American one btw). then, I finally found the guts to go see a therapist. not gonna say it was a mistake, but I'm glad I stopped because this bitch was just here to take my money. I took antidepressants for a few months, and I have stopped really recently, actually. in all honesty, I have gotten much better, thanks to my own doing, I've worked so hard on getting better and I'm proud of how far I've come. 

today, I can finally say for the first time ever in my life that I am proud of who I am. 

the whole point of saying all of this shit you have (maybe) read is not because I want people to give attention to me or anything like, I don’t want pity or anything and truly don’t think there are any reasons for people to feel any pity towards me. I'm saying this because I want to thank the people around me for just existing, for supporting me, for making me feel validated. because you might not realise it, but (a lot of) you are often talking about your problems, and it makes me realise that I'm not the only one feeling this kind of way. it makes me realise there are people who might understand me, even just a little. and when I see you talking about your sexual/romantic orientation (or lack of so) it also makes me feel accepted. I see you guys reblog such validating things, and then some of you even have pride flags in your layouts, and you have no idea how my heart feels about it. if you weren’t aware, I'm a twitter person. I've spent so much time on there, I have met lots of people, lots of which are part of the community and openly supporting it, and yet I have never felt more validated than since I've been on here. 

I've also met the people I consider “the most” as my internet best friends on here, like my best best internet friends, if that makes sense lmao, and not actually on twitter (although I might be pushing it because I have actually gone from IVL to IRL with most of them so like... whatever.) point is: I have met amazing friends I'm so thankful for on here. and all the people I see in my dash, to all of you, thanks for everything too even if we don’t really talk and if we haven’t had actual discussions before. now if you want to, you can always come to me to talk about whatever the fuck you want. 

so, here, I want to thank all of you, because today I'm finally starting to think maybe, just maybe, that I want to keep on living and that good things might happen to me. I have no plans for the future, since I never imagined myself getting this far in life, but I'm still willing to give it a try. 

please, if after you’re reading this, you’re thinking about telling me cliché things about staying strong and all that, I'm going to ask you not to do it. it just feels like pity to me. or choose your words wisely, I'm begging you, because I can’t stand thinking anyone would pity me. please don’t feel like that, that’s not the point of this.

I'm doing this as a thank you, and as a message to everyone out there who’s read this. I hope my words mean something to you. maybe help you? it’s ok to be confused about who you are. it’s ok not to like yourself, it takes so much work to get better and all that, but just know that you can do it, it is possible to do it. it takes time, it will hurt, but it’s an option. it’s not impossible. 

now. I have some people I want to send a quick message to. I guess some of you will be surprised, but just read what I have to say please, and know that from the bottom of my heart, I mean it.

@hwangwhatjin Emily. I don’t even know where to start, and soon I won’t even be able to see what I'm typing anymore because the tears I've been fighting while writing all this crap have started flowing all of a sudden the second I typed your name. you’re the first friend I made on here. we started off nothing, and I was a no one, and yet you still talked to me and all that. you’re honestly one of the most tolerant and kind people I have ever met in my life. you’re the exact opposite of prejudiced, you’re so open minded, so not giving a shit about other people’s quirks (I mean it in the right way) that don’t concern you directly, like people are who they are and you don’t give a damn about it, it’s amazing. I know this doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I can’t find the right way to put this. you’ve also always been there to listen to me whenever I wanted you to, and you have never judged me once. you have no idea how thankful I am for having you in my life. I wouldn’t want to have anyone else hold the title of bro. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry we haven’t been talking lately. I hope I can help you just like you’ve helped me and support you as much as you need me to in the future, and I want you to know I'll always be there for you, I'll never let you down. you have no idea how much I can’t wait to meet you so I can wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate while I light up a gingerbread scented candle (yes, I remember) and put on some blink-182 and stroke your hair because it’s what you deserve. you’re one of my best friends, like ever, and it’s such a pain we’re so far from each other, fuck this damn channel. one day I'll just swim to you to hear your wonderful accent you say you hate so much. anything to see you. I'm sorry I'm so old, I wish it were less of a problem, but as you grow up this gap will be less and less of an obstacle, so let’s just be patient, yeah? I love you, bro. roach bros to the end of the line.

@pikachulein Laura. ok. where do I start and how do I stop my eyes from sweating so much. you know, I'm just gonna say it. in my opinion, soulmates aren’t the people we’re especially meant to be with in a romantic way, and we might even have several of them. I just think they’re people who just bring you so much, and people who are like another version of you, but different. kind of like I described in my Felix au, actually. when I call you my soulmate, I really mean it, because I'd never thought I'd meet someone who understands me so well because they relate so much, someone who basically shares the same mind because hell, when have we ever had different thoughts on something like... it will never cease to amaze me. it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other, but I actually think you’re one of my closest friends. hell, on the day we meet, because I'm not taking no for an answer, I don’t even know how I'll be holding up like, I won’t know how to act. so in advance, I'm sorry if I'm so weird at first. you’ve listened to the story of my whole life and you’ve shared your experience back, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that. maybe you haven’t realised, but you’ve been of a huge help to me. thank you for being so understanding, for not judging me, for being so open about everything with me, thank god I have someone with whom I can talk about literally any subject without it feeling uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. I have so many things to say I can’t even find the words, honestly. I’m just so thankful that you exist and that I have you in my life, and that you actually like me as a person too. thanks so much. you’re my best bitch, together we’re the baddest bitches of the pan squad and I can’t wait to travel across Europe with you for real. the world ain’t ready for us. 

@hanniesunshine Isabel. you’re just the biggest ray of sunshine ever. everything about you is so pure I'm even scared to be one of the people you talk to because I feel like you don’t deserve to talk to me (I mean like you deserve much better than me) and that I'm way too filthy for you. you’re always so good and kind to me, so, so supportive, and I can’t even thank you enough for that. honestly, every time I see you somewhere, kakaotalk, WhatsApp, Tumblr, I just can’t help but smile because you’re the purest and brightest being the earth has ever seen and I can’t believe you would actually want to talk to someone like me. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for being such a cold bitch (and for using this word) sometimes, and for almost never finding the right words. thanks for always being so eager about reading my content. I'll keep supporting you, and I'll do better in everything!! I love you, so, so much. I'll always be there for you if you need me or want me. 

@sleepyracha Marie. I'm so, so sorry I'm so inconsistent and that I don’t talk to you as much as I used to, I hope we’re still okay. I just want to thank you for being the open minded person you’ve shown me you are and for supporting me all the time, and for very interesting conversations about literally anything. I promise I'm learning Spanish and that soon we’ll be able to talk together in another language than English. I hope you’re doing well and that you know I'm always there for you, and if Tumblr isn’t the best place for you, tell me where you want me to be for you. congrats on passing this year, you’re someone amazing and you’re so chill, it feels so good to see someone like that. thank you for even talking to me in the first place, thank you so much and I love you. 

@lesbianbias Nina. you’re such a soft and pure person, I'm so glad you were my skz anon and that I got to meet a wonderful person like you. you’re always showering me with love, and I always feel like I don’t deserve it. thanks so much for all the support, please, please never change. I love you and you’re amazing. thank you for being so chill as well. I'll make sure I'll return that love to you. 

@xiaocity siya. thank you so much for listening to me, you know what I'm referring to. I know you’re one of those who really deeply understands me and I'm thankful we got to talk, even just a bit. I'm always there if you need me, thank you for supporting me and my works, and be more confident in your writing, it’s good!! I think we actually have a lot in common too, so if you ever feel like talking, feel free to drop by in my dms.

@littlefallenrebel Sophie. we haven’t talked that much, but I feel like we should talk more. we have a lot more in common than we think, I'm sure of it. thank you for being you, thank you for the messages you’ve been spreading with your posts and reblogs. you’re an amazing person and I'm happy you’re my mutual because you’re a truly good person. 

@visualgiggles sam. thank you for your reblogs, whatever they’re about they never fail to cheer me up, whether they’re about tolerance or just memes, even the latter help me regain faith in humanity. we haven’t talked that much but I would gladly talk some more with you if you ever wanted to. you’re a wonderful person and I'm thankful you’re my mutual. 

@dreamypansexual I don’t think we’ve ever talked, I'm not even sure I know your name so I don’t want to say something wrong. but that doesn’t matter, because you’re still one of the people who make me feel the most validated here. hell, you literally have a pan flag as your layout (your user... I mean yeah). your posts are always making me feel so much better because it proves me that there are still such tolerant and open people out there, so thank you. 

@cloudyyboii honestly, I think it’s kind of the same as with your friend right above between me and you. it doesn’t matter though, thanks for the validation and the tolerance you’re spreading around. love you. 

@jxsng Kylie. I don’t think we’ve ever had a private conversation, but whatever. you’ve shown me lots of supports in every other way and you’re such a sweet and open person, I'm thankful you’re my mutual. I feel small next to people like you because I feel like you hold the whole world in your hands, you’re one of those meant to go places and it shows. I'll always support you too. thank you for everything and I love you.

@ggukksrose shims. you’re definitely one of the people who make me feel validated the most, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I always see you sticking up for others and telling the haters to go fuck off, and you even did that with me. you’re an amazing person, and I admire you for the confidence you’ve managed to achieve and I wish you the best in the future, I hope you’ll only get better and better with your fights and if anyone ever messes with you I'll be throwing hands. just say the word. I love you. 

@cypher-yngi Emerson, am I wrong? we’ve never talked though we’ve been mutuals for so long. from what I've seen, we have a lot in common and I'd be more than ok to have even a simple conversation with you, even if you said Orangina was good. you’re also one of those who have helped me feel valid and realise I'm not alone in this world, so if you’re ever feeling alone, and if you want to, let’s be alone together, maybe? gotta love FOB. also, you have amazing music taste. and you're a fellow yoongi stan, and that itself says a lot about the kind of person you are. thanks for existing and I love you.

@wonwonbebe ah... have you ever told me what your name was? I have terrible memory. doesn’t really matter. I love you, I'm so thankful that you were my anon and can’t believe you actually went through all that just to talk to me. you have no idea how thankful I am. you’re a wonderful person, and I'm so, so happy to see that my mutuals are all so amazing and tolerant. thanks for all the positivity. 

@psycho-robin-chan robin, right? we’ve talked a bit before. if you read what’s above, you’ll probably find some parts a bit familiar, haha. I actually loved this conversation with you, if that makes sense? it’s always interesting and it feels good to let it out. I also like seeing I'm not alone, and I like to think that when I speak about such things with people I might also be helping them feel better. so thanks, you also make me feel valid with your posts and reblogs, and you’re such a tolerant and open and chill person at such a young age. never change anything! thanks for being here and supporting me. 

@mirohell sage! we haven’t been mutuals for long, and I'm not expecting you to read everything I've written, it’s ok if you don’t, really. I just wanted to thank you real quick because you’re already showing me lots of support and I feel like we’ll be getting along well. if you want to read this, I'm sorry for putting so much on your shoulders so quick lmao, you’ll basically be knowing so much about me without having asked for anything. feel free not to read it, I'm repeating myself again but really, the actual important part of this post is this one where I thank you all individually. so thank you!! I'll do my best in supporting you in the future as well, and not only by showing your edits some love haha

@theminho min! we haven’t been mutuals for long either, but thank you for caring about me. thanks for even just following me. thanks for this message you’ve sent, it means a lot really. you don’t have to read all that I've written above either,, don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to thank you personally too for just being here and for the support. feel free to come talk to me whenever you want (if you ever want) and I'll be supporting you always!! 

@justlovingkpop my sweetheart, you’re just too cute and so supportive and loving. thank you so, so much for everything and for coming to talk to me!! I'll go reread some of your work soon to because I've missed it. thanks for existing, and know that I'm always there for you. love you lots. 

@strawb-milk-tea my babyyyy I'm going to repeat it but thank you and I love you and you’re so cute and you’re NOT a potato ok, you’re so, so pretty like I knew I was gay but phew... I feel valid too when I see you. long live the gays. 

@five-pence hey there! it’s been a while. hope you’re doing well. thank you for supporting me, thank you for making me feel valid as well, and I love you very much. I'm here whenever. 

@jooheonenthusiast yo. we’ve basically only talked bc of that one post I made, and it’s been enough to show me that you’re an amazing person and a bad bitch. thanks for your support and fuck the homophobes. I love you. 

@marriael adellum. you’re a really kind person. you’re so pure. and you make me me feel very much valid, love your profile pics from the last days by the way. thanks for existing and I'm glad you’ve joined us on the network, it’s a pleasure to have someone like you around. hope I'm not too much of a pain in the ass. 

@channiiebby gryphon. we’ve never talked privately, but you’re a sweetheart. thanks for being you. you’re valid and you know it, and that makes me feel valid too, so thanks for showing me it’s okay to be who you are. I love you.

that’s it. I'm out of words. I've been at this for like 2 hours now. if I think of anyone else, I'll just reblog and add them. but right now I feel totally empty because of all the emotion hive poured into all this and I need to recharge, so good night and I love you all. thank you for your time and attention. 

happy pride month everyone,

your friendly neighbourhood pansexual, zia.