#for those of the unintiated

[just-honey-dewd]

Miraculous Ladybug: Spoilers for Perfection (Part 1)

I’m dead.

Warning, I’m quite critical in this review/ramble. MLB spoilers for S5 E12, cuz screw chronological episode releases. Part 2 will cover Emotion (cuz I had to stop it halfway to process the madness).

Fun fact. I feel like the jump in development between these two episodes actually speaks to the amount of episodes you could skip if you wanted to see what this show would be like if it went through a more “Show don’t tell” angle. If anyone has come up with a definitive “show-don’t-tell” cut of the show once it’s finally finished, pls send me a drive or a recommendation list, or I’ll have to do it myself /hj

For realskies, I….? Perfection was middle school secondhand cringe I suppose. The “I love” “moo” thing is self-aware, but still cringe nonetheless. Wondered of a funnier variation of her trying to say “ew” instead in reaction to Adrien’s established camembert stench like she keeps holding up a picture of camembert each time to try to get herself to say “I love (ew)” — but never even considers the correlation with that stench and Plagg. I’m actually curious btw about the french variation as a non-french speaker. Je taime? Right? Idk how the cow card would play into this.

Also mad props to MLB for tackling miscommunication and issues like fear of rejection, fear of failure, golden child syndrome with more care between the Marinette and Kagami, and having that translate into an akuma — screw you I could care less what they’re actually called now — that wasn’t just blindly destructive to everyone around em. More self-destructive, which I find to be more common for people irl. The ratio of people who’d use their negativity to lash out on others is hard to gage, but I know it’s been way too late in the game for there to be only this one akuma who’d rather sit and wallow in their lonliness. More people would rather crawl in a hole and die than inconvenience a stranger.

That desire to want to sit in isolation for days on end is quite relatable. More so than the manbaby temper tantrums you’d see from Mayor Bourgeious, the Ice cream guy, or Gabriel Agreste ffs. One can argue that Hawkmoth intentionally seeks out powerhungry hateful individuals: but that requires assuming Gabriel wasn’t just blindly choosing anyone with shallow grievances, with his powers amplifying them to be stupidly destructive. So I think the less complicated conclusion is Gabriel doesn’t seek out the strongest of negative emotions, (the baby akumas shoulda been a dead indicator), but he’ll take anything. Still doesn’t take away from the fact that aside from “Perfection”, there hasn’t been any other akuma who’s emulated what it’d really feel like to have your deep negative feelings of inadequecy be amplified. Or maybe I’m just projecting, which in that case, my bad 😋

On a separate note, this show had the potential to explore the deeply tragic misuse of the butterfly miraculous — that capacity to empathise with others, recognise their sadness beneath the anger —it really coulda been a good eye opener for mental health in society. But ehhh I already shot myself in the foot long ago for even insinuating MLB would ever try to reflect or deeply respond to modern-day issues. It really isn’t more than what its premise surmises. Aside from also being an anti-rich, soap opera, pre-teen angst monstrosity. But I digress.

Overall, Perfection is not for my age demographic but the sentiment comes across. Also, Adrien attempting to sing a dramatic ballad, and it being overshadowed by Marinette and Kagami’s shared feelings of inadequecy in their relationship to each other was both disheartening but also hilarious to me. “No worries, Adrien can always come up with another song from the heart off-screen! Besties come first!” Slay honestly. (Actually I take that back, Kagami don’t follow Lila’s IG!!!—)

Thanks for reading!

[cringefail-clown]

hateful gaze

[cassyapper]

felix. pick up the fucking phone. you stupid bitch. where the FUCK are my CHILDREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN. WHERE ARE THEY. FELIX I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME. PICK UP THE PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE

[jeannereames]

Hi! I was reading your pinned post and realized that you were a professor at PSU! I’m currently an archaeology/ancient mediterranean studies student here, so that’s pretty cool. Anyways, I was just wondering if you knew about any on going research projects going on regarding Alexander the Great (or anything related). May it be digs, archival work, research- I’m super interested in this area of history and wanna get involved!! Sorry if this is a long shot but I wanted to ask. Thanks!

Hello, there, fellow Nittany Lion!*

Yes, I got my PhD from Penn State and taught there for Religious Studies and Classics both as a lecturer back in the late 1990s.

As for digs, there is one at Pella, but it's already filled out for this season. But keep an eye on it; I believe next season may be the last? I've got a former student who'll be there this year (and perhaps next).

Dig at Pella via AIA

Pella Urban Dynamics Project (U. Mich)

Keep an eye on the AIA (Archaeological Institute of America) site for other opportunities in Greece.

Also, message me if you would, so I have your actual name and email, and I'll keep you in mind if I hear of other opportunities. Let me know who you're studying with at PSU (Mark Munn?). Dr. Munn has digs of his own, and TBH, when it comes to experience with archaeology, any dig will give you some experience.

You should also look into summer programs offered through the American School of Classical Studies at Athens. They've had Macedonia-centric programs in the past. One, in fact, got tanked by Covid. So bookmark that site and, in fact, explore it thoroughly, if you're not already well familiar with the ASCSA.

(Spelling out some of these acronyms for those unlikely to recognize them.)

--------

* For the unintiated wondering what the heck a "Nittany" Lion is ... it's a (mountain) lion that lives on Mt. Nittany, of course. *snort* Penn State (located in State College, PA) nestles in "Happy Valley" which lies between (low) mountain ranges, and one of these is "Mount Nittany." It's actually an extremely lovely place, but also one of the few I had SERIOUS allergy problems for my entire 8 years there. Pollen counts are crazy.

[2bit-sunshine]

I swear if i ever make a cohesive universe im not gonna have time travel. I hate time travel. Too many problems

I think the most i am going to have is like a description of time as a zipper on a jacket. It starts open, free, where all possibilities exist unfettered in the aether. Then, as time does, it zips along the zipper tread. Moving toward the other end.

As the zipper closes the time line is formed with events having happened stuck in that state of the past. They happened. No changing them. Then as the zipper continues to close, the space of open possibility also shrinks with more events becoming likely and transitioning into the past.

As the timeline zips shut you will have a future of less and less outcomes. Especially the closer you are to the present.

Because the future is made upon of possibility there is a chance many things could happen. Transporting to the future is impossible as well as there is nothing "solid" to stand on.

But that isnt to say you cant see the past or future. Time travel is less travel and more observing. You can observe past events easily enough as there is a solid line you can follow. You can observe the future possibilities as well and this can give you an edge in mapping out potentials scenerios where you can game the future into a state you want but the longer you wait the more it closes, shutting off potential possibilities.

The trick isnt whether or not those things are possible. It would be in this universe. Its that you need an extradinary amount of focus and awareness of the past or future you are trying to observe.

What i mean is this. The timeline that exists in this universe i want to concoct isnt just one singular timeline. Its several concurrent timelines for every particle, atom, object, animal, person and consciousness. How do you even find one thing in all that mess?

The tricky thing with this analogy of a timeline to a jacket zipper is that it paints it as one lone timeline. But it is an anology for the unintiated. Because of course things are more complex than that. To dig deeper is to know the the timeline of the universe is more zippers than you can count. Then you need to be able to find those specific zippers for what you want. They all are moving at the same rate and in the same direction.

It can help to know the events of a particular past. This allows you to cross some things off as being some other zipper. If you know a house was built in this location and what it looked, you can better observe the location history because that house wouldn't be in another zipper. Its even better if you have the thing you want to observe there with you. You can observe a persons past if they are there with you.

There are layers to this though and it isnt less complicated than time travel just a complicated i happen to like more. Some people might be able to just see a past or future. Others might be able to show it to others as well. But how do you see it? Observing the timeline of a person is like looking through their eyes. You hear the thoughts that are relevant in their voice. You smell and hear and see and feel as they do. The more prominant the thing they are noticing the more you notice it yourself.

People may be the easiest as they are able to process things on multiple avenues. They can see something happening and can hear it too. Most of all they have thoughts about it.

An object not so much.

Unless i do something wacky, a rock doesnt see what happens around it. Neither will it have a nose to smell or nerves to feel its outsides. I think it is more likely that you get impressions of consciousness on an object and able to sense recent, common or strong inprints. In a sense its a proxy for a person in a distant point in time.

You hold the sword and you can reach out to a person who held it and their timeline. But it doesnt help if you just have the sword and no idea who wielded it. Depending on its age it could have a robust history or a very short one. Knowing who held it will allow you to zero in on a past point.

I covered the person and the thing but not the place. Places are even wierder as their timelines can include multiple objects or people. Im not ready for all that tonight.

Time travel. Fuck it. Just make it a immutable past with a future of possibilities but no way to actually travel to those pasts or futures. I dont like thinking about all the timey whimy bs of paradoxes and shit

[ace-and-ranty]

Okay, but on the “Where is the Middle Ninth Generation” debacle...

What do we, as a fandom, think of the possibility that the answer is strictly Doylist, as in, “Muir just didn’t fully think this through”?.

I mean, I absolutely have faith in her plot and wordlbuilding abilities, but I also know what happens when you throw several obsessed fans into a Tumblr fandom and shake, and what happens is “Wow, you guys are really overthinking this specific X thing I never thought twice about.”

[fayesdiary]

You know who I haven't talked about for a really long time? The Annas!

I wanna talk about Annabelle (the playable Anna from Fates for the unintiated about this whole Anna Clan thing), since after all this time I finally got a good grip on who I want her to be!

Considering how many children Mother Anna and Jake have, some of them were bound to have middle child syndrome. Annabelle constantly compares herself to her sisters, feels the rest of the family barely notice her, and she's desperately trying to find her place in it.

This is why deep down she values her rivalry with Annalise (Awakening): while the two constantly bicker with each other, Annalise pushes her to improve in a way that the idealized versions of her sisters never could, even if it's out of spite. Also, well, she appreciates the attention.

Annalise loves to call her "Dumbbelle". She's still trying to figure out an embarassing nickname of her own as payback.

Ironically, while she feels she's not as good a merchant as her siblings, she's one of the sneakiest Annas, hence her default class being an Outlaw, wielding a bow and her Xenologue in Fates. Her main career is treasure hunting and permanently borrowing riches from bandits.

In general, Annabelle developed quite the snark, but she can be really sweet and grateful to those who appreciate her.

Also, the six fingers in her artwork were surely an art error, but who cares? She has twelve fingers now because I said so.

[hunnybadgerv]

Memorable View | Mass Effect | Guardians in the Darkness

Summary: A relaxed stroll brings up happy memories and turns into heated exchange that sends Nyx and Kaidan rushing home for a bit of peace.

a/n: I have no idea if this was a prompt, or just popped up, but I started it back in 2018 and then just let it sit. So, I went through it a few more times to polish it up. I can’t believe I haven’t posted more about Nyx and Kaidan.

Read on AO3

Memorable View

-1-

Slow strolls through the wards became part of their ritual. In a way it could be calming. On the Citadel, you could barely tell there was a war on. At the same time, that exact fact could be immensely frustrating. Kaidan’s hand in hers managed to keep those darker thoughts at bay. He gave her a squeeze and Nyx grinned up at him.

“I love that smile,” he told her.

“Good, because it’s all yours.”

A low chuckle passed between them. His fingertips grazed the line of her jaw when he bent to brush his lips against hers. “I’m a lucky man.”

Nyx’s grin took a mischievous tilt. She poked him in the ribs. “Yes, you are.”

Using their clasped hands, he pulled her closer, only releasing her in order to drape his arm over her shoulder. His lips brushed her temple when she slipped her arms around his waist. Her eyes flitted around the space, taking note of the location. It was a force of habit, her life made her threat assess every place she walked into, every person she met. Even in the arms of her lover, it was something she struggled to turn off completely.

“We’ve been here before,” she said, loosening her grip around his middle. Her hand reached up to take hold of his, which dangled over her shoulder and she pulled him toward the lookout point. “Remember?” she asked, glancing back at him as her pace quickened toward the railing.

Nyx Shepard sighed through her nose. The flutter in her chest reminiscent of that day that seemed like so many lifetimes ago brought a tender smile to her lips. The warmth of Kaidan against her back stood in stark contrast to the cold metal beneath her palms.

“Big place,” Kaidan whispered against the shell of her ear. His lips pressed against it softly.

“You do remember.” She released the balustrade, trading chilled metal for the hand slipping around her middle. Encouraging his grasp on her to tighten as she curved herself against his chest.

“How could I possibly forget?” His laughter curled around her, vibrating through his body into hers. “It was the most embarrassing moment of my career up to that point.”

Their laughter increased as they held one another close, staring out at the vast expanse of the Citadel’s arms. “It hit me like a truck,” she breathed as she leaned completely against him, wholly faithful that he’d hold her steady in any storm.

“How?” he laughed. “You knew I was interested in you that first night before we even put out.”

“I know. I just figured maybe the uniform would turn it off,” she admitted, studying the massive space station around them. It was shocking how similar those two moments seemed in her mind.

“Didn’t work for you,” he teased, resting his cheek on her head.

“No. I guess I just hoped your willpower was better than mine was turning out to be at the time.”

Kaidan chuckled again. “Clearly, not.” He pressed a kiss into her hair, shaking his head just a little. “You were so calm about it though. Just—” his body tensed, his voice taking on that note of command “—lock it down, Marine.”

Nyx turned in his arms; the movement bringing his gaze to meet hers. “Actually,” she said, emphasizing the word by pressing her hands up the muscled plane of his chest, “I said I appreciated the thought. And I did. I still do,” she told him, her fingers tracing along the sides of his neck.

“Well, I still think the Council is lucky as hell to have you as a Spectre.”

“Luckier now that they have you, too.” Nyx inched closer, her voice softening.

Kaidan mirrored her, closing the distance with a measured pace of his own. “Not sure I could ever fill your shoes.”

“You don’t have to. You’re making your own mark.”

The tip of his nose brushed against hers when his head tipped. “Just glad I can do it by your side again.”

“So am I, Kaidan.” Her gaze flitted over his face, as if she could memorize every detail. “I love you. Never stopped,” she admitted.

“I know. Me too, Nyx,” he said, the words rushing past his lips before they met hers.

Their arms tightened, as if physics might somehow bend around them and allow them to force every molecule of anything from between them. The kiss, which started gentle, quickly threatened to consume them both. His hips pressed hers against the railing, his body curving over her as they refused to let the kiss break.

In the beginning of their relationship, they moved with the caution of the unintiated. They foolishly believed there would be time later to show the other how they felt, how much that person meant, how they esteemed and respected them. Compartively, now, at the tip of the spear, they didn’t waste time. Didn’t hold off for later what could be done and said in the moment, because better than anyone they both knew the truth of the adage that tomorrow was promised to no one.

A gasp drew them apart, though not too far. Between panting breaths, his lips brushed hers.

“Let’s go back to the apartment,” Nyx mumbled, her fingers twining in his hair. Heading off any possible argument at the pass, she added, “We still have time.”

“Yeah, let’s.” His eyes darted from side to side without his forehead even leaving it’s resting place against hers. With a resigned sigh, he kissed her once more, harder than the sweet pecks he’d been tasting her with while he contemplated a plan. Not more than a moment later, with one arm still around her waist, he guided her toward the taxi call.

Nyx stretched on her toes to plant tender, wet kisses along his neck while he tapped out the request on the console. She used her grip on him to gain her a bit of extra leverage when it was needed.

As the console’s AI voice chimed, “Transaction confirmed. Your car will arrive in two minutes,” Nyx nipped at his adam’s apple.

“A lifetime,” he muttered. He pushed his hands through her hair, prying her from his neck for their mouths to meet once more. Her lips parted in response to his open mouth. His tongue plunging against hers when they met once more. His fingers tangled in her hair, cradling her close, as if to keep her from escaping. But that was the farthest thing from Nyx’s mind.

“Humans,” a gruff voiced scoffed in passing, but neither paid the comment any mind. At that moment, they had the only thing each of them needed. The chiming of the console barely more than a minute later proved more successful in distracting them from one another.

 -2-

“No driver,” Nyx observed, flashing Kaidan a cheeky smile over her shoulder as she climbed into the backseat. She patted the seat next to her with a lift of her brow. But it was the way she bit her bottom lip that sent Kaidan’s mind into a frenzy. Every fiber in him wanted to snatch that lip from between her teeth and suck it into his mouth where he could nibble at it himself.

Damnit, he thought sliding into the offered spot. The door barely closed before she scooted closer, but he wouldn’t want her anywhere else. His hand covered her cheek and he got his wish. She freed her lip, just in time for him to capture it. Her hand fisted in his shirt, letting his teeth nip at her plump bottom lip before he let go only to capture her entire mouth.

Her leg draped over one of his, and his hand moved over the muscular curve of it to her rear. With one arm around her waist and his other hand grasping her ass, he tugged her onto his lap; her legs tucked on either side of his thighs. The weight of her against him felt vital—it anchored him there in that time and place. The shift of her hips against his broke their kiss with a moan on both their parts. For a moment, Kaidan wondered what he’d been thinking pulling her into his lap. When his teeth, found purchase in the thin skin of her neck, wrenching another sigh from her lips, he remembered—leverage.

His hands skimmed her ribs as he alternated wet kisses and sharp bites toward the neckline of her blouse. Her heavy breathing echoed in his ears, along with his own racing pulse. He pulled a button loose when his chin rested in a makeshift net of fabric, exposing more of her decadent skin to his ravenous explorations.

Nyx’s hand caught his, when he moved to undo a second. “We’re not that far from home, Kaidan.”

“Far enough,” he teased, tipping his hips up against her as his other hand kept her from rising beyond the temptation of feeling him against her.

“Damnit, Kaidan.”

Her hands tipped his chin upward; her lips met his hard. His hand moved from her buttons to cover her breast, squeezing it in his palm as he let her control the kiss. Kaidan encouraged the movement of her hips, the hand still on her ass tightening with each rock of her body against his. He welcomed every thrust of her tongue into his mouth. With greed, he swallowed the moan that escaped her when he rolled her nipple between his fingers.

Their destination might not be far enough for them to have sex, but it didn’t mean that he couldn’t get her close. He popped another button loose on her blouse, his hand ducking into it to hook a finger on the lace of her bra. Breaking the kiss, his attention shifted on a dime as he dragged his tongue over her newly bared skin. His amber eyes turned up toward hers as he flicked the tip of his tongue at her pert nipple. The soft chuckle in her throat shuddered. Her head fell back with a gasp, when his mouth wrapped around it.

Kaidan hummed in approval when her hands fisted in his hair. She held him fast, like her survival depended on the way he teased her breast. Desire spurred the way her hips worked against his, her body teasing against his straining cock. He wanted to feel her against him, skin to skin. Wanted to strip them both bare and worship every inch of her before anything pulled them out of this bubble of stolen normalcy and lust.

That would require patience. Sure, he possessed it, but employing the will to enact it was a different story entirely. Leading with his tongue, he traversed the swell of her body to the valley between her breasts. The hand on her rear gave her another encouraging squeeze, prompting her hips into another languid roll that left him groaning against her dewy skin.

“Kaidan,” she whimpered.

His eyes flicked up to meet her gaze. He loved the sight of sex on her—lips swollen from his kisses and her own teeth tugging at them, parted just so in an effort to entice his tongue to push past and steal the breath right out of her lungs. Her hands loosened in his hair, but he didn’t make the dive, not yet. His hands changed places, one rising to pull her blouse to the other side as the fabric teased toward and caught on the nipple he’d already teased hard. Another begged for his attention.

Sharp, white teeth puckered her rosy and plump bottom lip once more with the shift of her clothing. He dragged his tongue along the lacy edge of her bra. His fingers skimmed her ribs, inching closer to his goal. Kaidan’s amber gaze focused on her, unwavering, as he tugged the fabric beneath her other breast. He stared at her when he slowly shook his head, letting his lips barely brush over the sensitive peak before him.

Her breath shook; her attention as rapt on him as his was upon her. His tongue darted out to flick the nub and she cried out. He did it once more, the reaction not nearly as marked. So, he dragged the flat of his tongue over her skin to the tune of her languid moan. Greediness motivated his attentions, the need for her pleasure, to hear her let go of everything except what they shared.

“Approaching Destination. Thank you for choosing Citadel United AirCar Services. Enjoy the rest of your visit. Locally, you can find fine restaurants, gaming establishments, and popular entertainment venues, including the Armax Arsenal Arena, where the best in the galaxy pit themselves against some of the Milky Way’s most challenging forces,” the automated voice stated. The electronic voice cut through the sound of their heavy breathing, but did nothing to deter Kaidan from his task.

Shepard, however, must have maintained far more self control than Alenko would have liked to allow. Her fingers tightened in his hair once more, but this time her movements were more demanding than enticing. She tugged; he hissed and her nipple fell from his mouth as he stared up at her. “We’re almost there.”

“Almost being the key word,” he replied, pinching her moist skin.

“So bad.”

“Only when you’re involved.”

“Likely story.”

“Fact,” he argued, lunging toward her.

With a bright peel of laughter, Nyx sat back on his lap. Her hands tightened in his hair for a flash, before releasing their hold and carding through the strands. She attempted to smooth it back into place as best she could. Kaidan proved far less cooperative, letting his hands tease over the bare skin she’d yanked his mouth away from moments earlier. Every time her breath caught, he grinned; until she batted his hand away and righted her lingerie. She leaned forward and kissed him. When it broke, just as their taxi slowed and maneuvered to drop them just outside the apartment building, her buttons were refastened; though her appearance remained a bit disheveled once she slipped off his lap.

 -3-

The door opened onto the bright neon of the Silversun Strip. This part of the Citadel buzzed with life and activity no matter the hour. Nyx hurried out of the vehicle and held her hand out for Kaidan’s, which grasped hers tightly in reply. Just that chaste touch kept her pulse racing. Of course, it didn’t help that he left her nipples aching, and now pressed against the lace of her bra they screamed for the warmth of his mouth and smooth touch of his palms. Every inch of her skin seemed to crave his attention, she buzzed with anticipation—for a private moment in the elevator ride, for the quietude of the apartment where they would both be able to toss all sense of caution to the wind and drown in one another.

Nyx felt her mouth turn downward when they neared the elevator bank to find a quartet of people also waiting for the lift. Kaidan stopped behind her, the firmness of his chest against her back made her shiver.

“A shame,” he mumbled against the shell of her ear.

A smile curled her lips and she turned. Slipping her hand behind his neck, she pulled his ear toward her and he allowed it. “Lucky you. I had retaliation in mind.”

Kaidan pulled back, grinning at her. “We could always wait for the next one.”

“Or we could take this one and I can get your clothes off sooner.”

“Roger that. I like that plan better.”

When it arrived, Kaidan slipped into the rear of the lift car; Nyx pressed their floor on her way to join him. She stopped in front of him. Her hand nearest the wall left the railing when the car started to move. Then she leaned against him, Nyx took a chance at retaliation. His whole body stiffened when her fingertips grazed his inner thigh.

Her teeth clamped down on her lips to suppress her laughter when he inched backward. A thud resounded as his heel bumped the kick plate, signaling the limits to his escape.

“Nyx,” he whispered into her hair, as if the warning might detour the upward track of her hand.

Certainly, he could have grabbed her wrist before she pressed her palm against the length of him. He covered the rumble in his throat with a cough, and her grin widened. Kaidan’s thick hand clamped down on her hip and pulled her against his chest. It didn’t keep her from teasing him, but then he knew her weaknesses as well as she knew the touches that would drive him insane.

“Payback.” The lazily drawn out syllables of his taunt rumbled down her spine.

When the elevator made its first stop, she leaned back and looked up at him. “Bring it, major.”

He clasped her chin and pressed a hungry kiss to her lips in a fervent answer to her challenge. Thankfully, the elevator didn’t empty before they reached their floor, or Kaidan might have just hacked the car and trapped them there intentionally. She slipped her hand into his and pulled her lover in her wake, not that he needed any further encouragement to stay on her heels.

The apartment door opened with a quiet swish and Kaidan’s arms wrapped around her almost instantly. He growled low into her hair, before he bared her neck and bit her at the junction of her shoulder.

“You know you started it,” Nyx said with a hiss. She turned and draped her arms around his shoulders.

Kaidan hummed against her lips, sealing their mouths in another deep kiss. “I’m going to finish it, too,” he promised.

“Then stop talking about it,” she said, laying her hands on his chest and pushing his back against the stone wall just inside the entrance. She held his heated gaze, fingers moving quickly to loosen his belt. “And do it.” With that challenge, she inched his waistband down.

A moment of indecision on his part gave her all the advantage she needed. Uncovering his stomach, she dotted kisses across the topography she knew well as she sank to her knees before him. He pushed her hair away from her face staring down at her. When her lips parted, so did his. The flick of her tongue against him curled his mouth into a smirk.

“Beautiful and devious,” he started, the final S fading into a quiet hiss as the flat of her tongue traced his length from base to tip. “This,” he said, swallowing when she guided him into her mouth, “is not quite what I had in mind.”

She didn’t give him an answer, at least not a verbal one. No, she limited her response to gentle sucks, dexterous licks, and the restrained use of teeth. It earned her a bevy of low and delicious moans that only spurred her along and prompted gentle hums that she knew drove him wild. Kaidan didn’t take his eyes off her, couldn’t; it was part of the thrill, how much he enjoyed watching her, watching them. From the subtle shift of his hips, which he strained to control, to the way his fingers threaded through her hair, tightening when her creative tongue or adroit fingers found just the right combination of touches, she could sense him inching closer. She waited for him to decide if she’d finish him there and then or if he’d pull her free.

A hint of saltiness hit her tongue, and she shifted, squeezing her thighs together tighter. One palm pressed up his body, slipping beneath his shirt along the slope of his chest. His shoulders pushed into the wall, his hips pressed toward her, deeper into her mouth. Her other hand moved along his shaft as her lips teased at the tip of him.

“Nyx,” he groaned at her.

Her thumb hooked in the hem of his shirt, bearing his chest, or at least as much as she could without stopping. Her decision made in the greedy echo of her name. His voice carried a telltale hint of desperation, even though she knew it for the polite warning it was. He always warned her when she went down on him. No matter how many times she dropped to her knees for him, no matter how many times she let him come in her mouth he still told her that the pleasure rose in him, still gave her the chance to detour her course.

Her tongue swirled the sensitive crown with a hum in her throat. It clung there like a question. Inquiring, as if he had more to say than just her name. It wasn’t the real purpose of the sound, however. She knew Kaidan, knew what he liked, knew what drove him past the edge, like the vibration now surrounding through him.

That electric warm amber gaze stoked a flame within her. With a fist tightening in her blond hair, his eyes finally slipped shut. His head pressed back against the stone wall, his hips jutting forward and bucking into her mouth. She welcomed it, the weight of him on her tongue, the pulse of him between her lips, the musky flavor that coated her tongue and throat as he came. Swallowing, she watched him, watched his climax shift through the tight muscles of his abs and ripple further. His chin fell and his heady, inviting gaze met hers once more with a smirk.

“I need to taste you,” he admitted, his tongue flicking across his lips.

Raising one knee, Nyx pushed herself to her feet, her body skimming his. “How about tasting you?” she asked, the tip of her tongue brushing his lips as he loomed over her.

His tongue dove past her lips in reply. Her arms fell comfortably around Kaidan’s shoulders, while his closed around her body. When he lifted her off her feet, her legs circled his waist, ankles hooking behind his back.

The toe of his boot resounded off the frame of the sofa when he located it, then he set her on the edge of it. Still, the kiss did not break. Her legs loosened, draping on either side of him, while his hands moved from her ass to the fly of her jeans. He wasted no more time. Nor did she, once their lips separated. She pulled up each foot in turn, shedding her boots to facilitate the removal of the clothing he quickly unfastened. Kaidan straightened, pulling the soft blue t-shirt over his head and letting it fall.

Staring at the way his arms flexed, Nyx traced her fingers over his skin until he jostled her in his effort to disrobe her. She tried to balance on the back of the sofa, but the manhandling dropped her over the edge when he yanked the pants along the length of her legs, lifting them both straight into the air to accomplish their removal completely. Laughter bubbled up from her, but her blue eyes didn’t leave his face once the brush of denim left her skin. Bending her knees together, she rested her bare feet against his stomach as she laid across the sofa cushions at an odd, upside-down incline. His warm, calloused hands rested on her knees, shifting them so that her feet found purchase against the cool leather. It was a progression of motion she couldn’t strip her gaze from.

With a gentle press, he separated her knees, baring her core to his ravenous gaze. “Kaidan,” she breathed a tingle alighting over her flesh. He hadn’t even touched her, but the way he stared at her, every inch of her, she could imagine the ghosts of so many enticing touches he’d lavished upon her. “Please,” she gasped without really knowing what she wanted most.

Soft kisses landed on her knees as his fingertips skimmed over her skin in an ethereal manner. In sex, he moved like he did in the field with deliberation and consideration. With precise kisses and measured bites, he inched toward her overheated core.

Her breath shook in her body, when he finally dragged a single fingertip over her labia. It went right to his lips, his tongue flicking against it as she stared. His other hand tightened on the inside of her thigh. “So wet,” he breathed, the exhale coasting across her body with a chill

“You have that affect on me,” she admitted. “And you’re so damn gorgeous when you climax.”

His hum rose, dark and tempting, as his fingertip traced the same line once more. She could feel the easy way it glided against her, inching deeper with each pass and plucking at her hooded clit before retreating to trace a circle of temptation around her entrance. The pace of it was maddening, but the traces of Nyx’s conscious attention mainly focused on keeping herself from sliding into the floor rather than finding a retaliatory way to tease. She grasped the cushions tightly to anchor her body under his attention.

Breath catching in her throat, she didn’t dare blink when he leaned closer. His fingers opened her, exposing her clit to his consideration. The flick of his tongue against her created a shudder of surprise in her body, despite her anticipation of just that motion. When his lips wrapped around the excited nub, a breathy moan escaped her. Her head fell back, savoring his attentions, including the way his finger still teased through her folds as his tonge teased her clit. One foot shifted and she pushed it down his back.

Rather than trying to take retribution or exact some kind of control over it, Nyx basked in it, in his attention. From the tip of his tongue and the heat of his mouth to the firm push of his fingers into her and the way he hooked them against that rough spot inside her. Kaidan played her body toward an explosive crescendo. She writhed, face going bright red from the combination of excitement and the effects of gravity. Then he pulled away just before she reached the pinnacle. His hands moved over her legs, toward her knees then back toward her pussy, which he bypassed to trail up her stomach.

“Kaidan,” she gasped at him, surprise and inquiry warping her voice as well as her countenance.

“Not yet,” he told her wearing a smirk as he fisted his hands in tails of her blouse. “Close your eyes.”

It took more than a beat, but she complied. The movement of his hands jostled her as a chorus of tiny buttons thudded off soft surfaces and bounced across harder ones. Then he knocked her feet over the edge of the sofa, leaving her in a giggling heap.

After righting herself, she peeled off her destroyed blouse, and unclasped her bra, tossing it aside as well. All the while Kaidan achieved his own nudity. Then he hopped over the back of the sofa, and landed near her on his knees. One hand grasped her ankle and dragged her toward him, her bottom squeaking across the leather in a way that dissolved them both into giggles. His smile still brightening his eyes when he leaned over her; his body covered hers.

With one hand between them, he drew the tip of himself through her folds to tease and inflame her skin once more. “It’s not polite to tease. I thought politeness was the Canadian claim to fame.”

“Oh, well, I’d hate to defame every one of my countrymen,” he chided against her lips. As he pressed a kiss to her mouth, his hips thrust flush against hers, filling her in a single stroke.

She gasped into his mouth, but he refused to let the kiss break. Her leg draped over his hip as he tilted into her again, another sharp stroke that earned an incoherent chirp. He swallowed every single sound that escaped her lips as their bodies found a fervent rhythm. It finally broke when he shifted. Staring down at her, he perched himself on one knee between her legs; his other foot falling to the floor for more leverage.

Kaidan gripped her thighs. Nyx, however, couldn’t take her eyes off him—the roll of his body, the movement of the muscles under his glistening skin. “So hot,” she muttered, popping her hips to meet his with the same kind of fervor she might have used if she’d been straddling his lap.

“I know,” he agreed. Judging by the growl in his voice and focus of his gaze moving over her bare skin, she doubted they were talking about the same thing. Not that it mattered.

Relentless, he didn’t let up, but then neither did she. With his body out of reach, her hands teased across her own skin, caressing her breasts and pinching her nipples as he made her moan. They wanted the same thing. His hand slipped between them before he covered her body with his again. The heat of his skin as much as the pluck of his fingers against her clit sent her head spinning. She pulled his lips to hers, burying her hands in his hair as her tongue slipped into his mouth.

Her moan deepened with the crackle against her skin. He echoed it, a similar sound reverberating deep in his chest. “Yes,” she muttered against his neck with every snap of his hips. She could feel it in his body as well, in the rapacious rhythm and the way he swelled inside her. His teeth tugged at her bottom lip, her nails digging into his back and his neck, as every muscle in her body tensed in an instant of pause before she shattered around him.

“Fuck, Nyx,” he groaned against her mouth when she cried out. Her lips covered his; she swallowed every grunt of his finish, holding his face in her hands as he filled her.

Her heart jackhammered against her ribs, when he collapsed atop her, held up only partially by the elbow he got in place just in time. She could feel his heart beating a powerful staccato within his own chest as their kiss deepened. Kaidan took it over once more, his tongue gliding against hers, deep into her mouth as if claiming her as his own; Nyx only opened herself wider to it, to him. With every passing day, she loved him more; and while she didn’t know where the future might lead, she knew one thing. They had one another. Here, now, and for all the tomorrows she could claw from the grip of fate and the Reapers.

Read on AO3

[emmalenalouisaellis]

Tea Time Recipes: Jaffa Cake Cake

It’s a new year and a new season, but we’re still in lockdown which has left me with a little more time on my hands in which to try and test a few new recipes. -Although not necessarily the budget or the confidence in which to stretch to creating a brand new cooking channel with gleaming cooking utensils and a full range. Maybe one day *sigh*

But on the plus side, I’ve been very excited when  scrolling through the various social channel, I see something a little bit different, or a twist on an old favourite and comfort food. In this case a Jaffa Cake Cake.

Mcvittie’s Jaffa Cakes - for the unintiated are one of Britain’s secret pleasures combining the flavours of orange jelly, sponge and rich chocolate to become one of our tea time favourites. There is some drama of course about whether they are a cake or a biscuit but what really matters is the overall flavour. 

So why not capitalise this and make a larger version for everyone to share - rather than squabbling through the packets about who had the last one...

My variation of the recipe is enough for 8-10 people (depending on hunger levels) and can be made for under £5, which is great for those wanting to dip into baking without the price tag. I used a bag of Vanilla flavour sponge mix* from Tesco - for £1, eggs, water, orange jelly (or jello for my international friends) and some dark chocolate. 

*If you prefer to create your own sponge I recomend my recipe here.

Jaffa Cake Cake - Serves 8:

You will need:

2 x 10″ Round Baking Tin - I recomend using non stick tins as it saves on the washing up and allows you more time to enjoy tasting. Or some greased and lined tins.

1 x 8″ Round Baking Tin

1 Mixing Bowl (Large)

1 Mixer (or Wooden Spoon Method if you haven’t got one)

1 Palette Knife

1 Measuring Jug

Wire Cooling Rack

Ingredients:

2 Medium Eggs

100ml (7 tbsp) water

1 Pack of Orange Jelly - Hartley’s is good as it’s usually 50p.

2 Bars of Dark Chocolate

Method:

For the Sponge 

1. Pre-heat the oven to 190°C/Fan 170°C /Gas Mark 5. 2. Empty the cake mix into a mixing bowl and add the eggs and water. 3. Mix with a handheld whisk for 2 minutes until smooth.

4. Divide the mixture equally into the two tins and bake in the centre of the oven for 15-20 minutes until risen and golden brown.

Jelly

1. Open your jelly pack and cut it into cubes. Cutting into cubes will help your jelly dissolve quicker and it sets quicker too.

2.  Pour the water and mix it up into a liquid and then add the mix into the 8″ tin.

3. Leave the jelly to set in the fridge over night, or within the freezer for 20-30 mins. You know it has set when there is a nice consistent orange texture and the jelly ‘wobbles’ but is firm in the centre. 

Cake Assembly:

1. Remove from the two sponges from the oven and allow the tins to cool for for 5 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack. 

2. Remove them carefully from the tins, being sure to preserve the shape and remove the jelly from the fridge/freezer.

3.  With the first sponge place it on a plate so that it is facing the same way up as it was in the tin and add the jelly. You can add this as a whole circle or spread it evenly over the sponge. Be careful to avoid it leaking out of the sides.

4. Cover the jelly sponge with the other sponge to create a lid and lightly score the surface with a knife to create the crossed effect of the original.

5. Break the chocolate into squares into a small bowl or the measuring jug and melt in the microwave or on the stove for 30-40 seconds.

6. Once melted gently pour the mixture onto the lid of the cake and smooth it down with the palette knife to cover the lid of the cake. 

7.  Reapply the hatched pattern with your knife and leave the cake in the fridge to set for 30 mins or so before eatting. 

8. Once the chocolate is set the cake is ready. 

I always think it taste best when it’s fresh but if you’re a smaller party, or aren’t ready to eat 8 slices, it can be left in the fridge for up to 3 days. Serve it it with a nice cup of warm tea and your favourite china set. I like mine milky with two sugars.

So how did you get on? Please let me know in the comments and check through my blog for more vintage and traditional recipes.  

Have a beautiful day.

Emmalena x

[safrona-shadowsun]

Truthful Thursday: What sort of lfie would Safrona consider boring?

“Boring, as in normal? In my world, a touch of normality isn’t something I’d outright condemn, you know. I am a Warlock, opened up to the Void, Mister Ash. That’s the core of who I am. I deal with the very abnormal nearly every day.”  A weak chuckle released. “I sometimes find myself drinking when things become too...not normal.” Safrona’s pleasant little smile hardened. Words could not often define the level of strangeness the Void Elf experienced, not to those unintiated, friend though the Druid might have been. She elected to not explain, moving on to the crux of the inquiry.

“I suppose true, insufferable boredom would be one where I was lounging around like royalty, and handed everything on a platter. Not only would it be boring, but I’d feel inept, useless. Old. And no longer for this world. That is the sort of boring that relates to a true death, for me.”

{ @asharinhun }

[popculturebuffet]

Comics Corner: Child’s Play #1 “Night of the Living Doll”

S

Happy days before Halloween everybody. While I have an X-tra Spooky treat planned for the day itself, I thought i’d start branching out from X-Men Comics (though that will be my primary focus), with a comic i’ve been dying to read since I found out it existed: The Child’s Play mini series from innovation comic, one of only two series and 10 comics overall starring your faviorite murder doll and mine: Charles “Chucky” Lee Ray. Also contains a slasher off to see who would win between Chucky and some classsic killers because the comic put the idea in my brain. Wanna Play? Then join me after the cut. 

WARNING: This review contains scenes of Gore. While I did try to cut it down being a horror comic about a slasher villain, this was inevitable, Discretion is advised. 

Child’s Play is a horror franchise I absoltuley love. While i’ve procastinated on seeing the DTV sequels, not that I think their bad i’m just a forgetful mess sometimes, and Seed, because no amount of Jennifer Tilly or intresting gender identity issue stuff will compensate for me having to watch Chucky masturbate, I have followed the series for years, afraid to watch it because I wasn’t a huge horror fan at the time and Chucky scared the shit out of me as a kid. Eventually I realized that despite my fear I loved the franchise for it’s thoroughly interesting killer, entertaining kills, and at it’s best great stories and at it’s worst so bad it’s good royalty. Even the Don Manncini, creator of the series and writer of every film and director of three, disowned remake is pretty good if thoroughly it’s own thing.  So naturally a Mini-Series taking place between 2 and 3 that may fit neatly into continuity, this is my shit and i’m so happy to finally read it. 

For the lapsed and unintiated, the Chucky/Child’s Play series, the original anyway the remake is it’s own thing and has it’s own backstory, follows Charles Lee Ray, aka Chucky, a serial killer who in desperation to get away from the cop perusing him after his partner ratted him out, used his vodoo knowledge, because every serial killer knows voodoo apparently, to put himself in the nearest vessel, a doll. The rest of the backstory can be covered as we go as the first issue does a really good job of organically explaning it for the unaware. Granted I don’t know if most non child’s play watchers would be intrested in this comic but it’s a nice gesture. 

This mini comes to us from innovation entertainment, a 90′s publishing company that made tie in comics for a number of things, and from writer Andy Mangels who also wrote Innovation’s Nightmare on Elm Street comics, which Linkara has covered in detail if your curious and which i’ll probably cover myself at some point, especially since this issue made a strong impression on me.  Speaking of which, the mini as mentioned takes place between the second and third films, both of which have their own adaptations that i’ll cover eventually, but I felt the original story was more appealing. As far as I can tell there have only been really three bits of media outside the franchise, not counting the aborted video game: A , from all accounts, terrible endless runner game, this mini series, and another mini series from Hack/Slash creator and former Nightwing Maestro Tim Seely, as well as a crossover between Hack/Slash and Chucky from Seely. And having read said crossover and found it excellent and feeling just like the movies in regards to the little shit, I hope to find the mini one day and share it with you lovely people. But even if I had i’d probably be covering this one first since chronological order combined with the fact it seems that mini dosen’t fit into canon anymore and this one might. Now the exposition is out of the way let’s get to the good stuff. 

Since I didn’t really cover the covers in my first two X-Men reviews, and feel I really should going issue by issue it just hadn’t occured to me, let’s look at the cover. It’s decent, kinda a parody of old horror comics covers or old horror movie covers and a nice start to things.. although frankly I would’ve preffered the splash page instead. 

I love it. It’s a nice little gag, and while the blood splatter is partly nonsensical and looks like Chucky just killed a guy to splatter some extra blood about to make his collection look more badass.. though given who we’re dealing with it wouldn’t suprise me, so it dosen’t really detract. That being said being a burgeoning horror fan and having seen films from most of these franchises and knowing enough about those I don’t from other reviewers reviews, i’d be remiss if I didn’t speculate about if Chucky could win against these other titans of terror. PLACE YOUR BETS BITCHES, IT’S A SLASHER OFF. 

Chucky Versus Micheal Meyers: He’d stab him for the love guru. Easy joke aside the horror of haddonefield does have size and strength, even in his old man version from the recent movie and upcoming sequels, over Chucky and while I thought this would be easily him... Chucky has him in speed and agility. He could climb that fucker and stab him up and down, shadow of colossus style, until even Micheal would have to buckle over, or just as likely set an elaborate trap like 2k18 Laurie. Micheal has some intellegence and a Chuck’s own drive not to give up, but that won’t save him from an opponent who’s faster, smarter and just as piss angry stubborn. Chucky wins.  Chucky Versus the Creature from the Black Lagoon: Chucky. The creature is strong but chucky’s craftier and would poison a lake just to kill a bastard.  Chucky Versus Jason: Tough call. Like Micheal, Jason is slow.. but he’s also 20 times more durrable, stronger and way more likely to get Chucky off him. He’s also more likely to use the environment meaning even if I vastly prefer Chucky, it’s a more even fight and more likely to go in Jason’s favor, as any trap Chucky set would likely get walked off. Jason wins.  Chucky Vs The Phantom of the Opera: Not really a traditional slasher and I don’t really know the version that is or the version that isn’t to be frank, but it seems like Erik could take chucky in cleverness and ruthlessness and combined with having home field advantage, i’m calling advantage Erik. He wins.  Chucky Vs Dracula: Okay 1, make this a movie yesterday Mancini and 2, this is a tough one. On the one hand Drac has mist, a horde of brides, wolves and transformation. If it’s home court, Chucky’s gonna die, especially if the count simply uses his brides to seduce him as Chucky is kinda easy that way. But in the US? Chucky is an onry bastard and Dracula has a ton of weakness, so I could see Chucky loosing round one then coming back to kill the bastard at dawn and anyone dumb enough to defend his coffin. Plus Chucky isn’t alone having Tiffany and the ablity to split himself among good guy dolls, so I could see Chucky creating another army of himself to do a suicide run on Drac’s castle. It’d hurt but Chucky is a vengeful dick. Chucky wins. Seriously Mancni get on this.  Chucky Vs Freddy: Depends on the setting: In the Dream World, it’s likely Freddy as he can throw Chuck off guard by giving him his body back or using former survivors, while in the real world it’s Chucky’s turf but Freddy still has knife hands with more reach than his lumbering opponents, so even with prep I expect Chucky to eat that one, so I give it to Freddy. But honestly I prefer Don Mancini’s ACTUAL pitch for a crossover he’s trying to get happening: Chucky and Freddy meet up, and actually admire each other’s style but realize that two killers in town will dry up all the victims so they wage a dirty rotten scoundrel’s style looser leaves town contest: whoever chops up the most teens by dawn stays. I want that yesterday too.  Chucky Vs Xenomorph: If it’s a facehugger as shown, Chucky, it probably woudln’t be able to bond with him and he’d stab it. But a proper showdown.. xenomorph. It matches Chucky’s speed, ferocity and while not as intelligent is still far stronger and just as ruthless.  Chucky Vs Leatherface: Chucky. While Leatherface has the better weapon and matching speed, Chucky can outthink him. Chucky wins but while I haven’t seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre, against the whole clan Chucky probably woudln’t win.. but would probably throw in with them long enough to survive since he’s a murderous bastard too and as long as he dosen’t have to join in dinner, it’s essentially his MO with help and family. He’d probably grow to either love them or get annoyed enough to kill em all.  Chucky Vs  The Tall Man: Tall Man. The Phantasm Ball is just too powerful and Chucky too vunerable and stubborn for a teamup.  Chucky vs Pinhead: Pinhead. I may be too squeamish for hellraiser but he’s FAR above Chucky’s paygrade.  So overall it’s 4 to 6 with Chucky loosing, but he still put up a far better fight than you’d think. And for funsies before we move on to the actual meat of the comic at long fucking last.  Chucky Vs Ash: Ash. Ash is dumb sometimes sure, but he’s just as stubborn, has dealt with being accused of murder before so framing him won’t work, and unlike the Slashers he’s got a shot gun, which while chucky can dodge, I could see Ash pining him. Dumb dosen’t mean he isn’t clever. However I do want to see the hyjinks that would insue so please, Mancini, do this one if you either can’t get freddy or if you can after that. Please? Okay so with ALLLL of that out of the way, let’s dive in. 

We open on the above, what’s left of Chucky after Child’s Play 2, being reforged into a fresh body. It’s exactly as pleasant as you’d think. 

Maybe he just says that because the sight of him with lipstick gives grown men heart attacks. 

See? Unsuprisingly, that’s one of my faviorite Child’s Play moments. Or maybe he just needs a pair of fresh eyes to stop being so hetronormative. 

I do love this bit, it’s a nice bit of comedy that dosen’t feel too broad and fits right into the franchise, even before the outright horror comedies. And now for you ladies and gentleman and other’s pleasure...LIVE NUDE CHUCKY!

Granted Bride would later retcon in a penis, but given he’s in a third body by then. Or maybe it’s the fact his body gets more human the longer he’s in one, so maybe he grows one or fused a strapon to himself. I dunno. I’m not an expert in Chucky’s Penis. That’s Don Mancini’s job. So Chucky puts some pants on, because wether it’s because you love somebody or want to stab them silly, you put your pants on for them, and wonders if he should wear something more inconspicuous before realizing he’s a 3 foot animate doll.. he’s always going to be conspicuous, another inspired bit of comedy. This is something I like about the issue: Regognizing how ludicrious the two sequels at the time were, Mangels leans into the comedy a little, but without overriding the horror, as you’ll soon see, somehow correctly predicting the direction of the franchise. But chucky made a mistake.. the last page showed him triggering an alarm by accident and well. 

As you can see in a neat stylistic choice, the siren blares over the entire page as Chucky makes a run for it and a mysterious observer sees a slight against god running about, decides cool and follows. He accidently slams into chucky in another funny bit. He offers a ride and while Chucky balks at this weirdo, said weirdo points out that how’s he’s going to outrun the cops otherwise and Chucky reluctantly gets in. And it says something if the guy with a bigger body count than a heart attack still has reservations going with you. The teen says Chucky reminds him of a kid who was in the papers for claming a doll killed some people and his mother who backed up the story, was suspected to have did it and put her in an insane asylum, or as this little shit calls it “Electro-Shock Pallace” as someone who himself is mentally ill, and afraid of asylums and lives in a world two decades removed where mass killings happen often and are often pinned on mental illness, fuck this twerp and I can’t wait for his commupance. Chucky sets him straight. 

See this is why I didn’t jsut do a big infodump on everything right up front, the comic does a good cjob recapping child’s play 1, and 2 isn’t relevant to the plot aside from the intro. They explain things quick and fast and chucky himself gives a good chunk of the film’s backstory pretty quickly once he and shades here get back to his house. 

This is also interesting as even the films haven’t really gone into how Charles Lee Ray felt as he became a doll or if he was conscious when Karen first got him. There’s more of course, and while it’s not necessary to this story, Karen does show up in this series, so i’ll fill you in on where the story went from there, as well as what Chucky left out or wasn’t there for. Here we go... Karen Barclay was the struggling mother of young Andy, who wanted a Good Guy doll for his birthday. Karen, not having much, found one second hand... Chucky. Chucky started manipulating the young kid, offscreen though that just makes it more unsettling even if the mystery of if Chucky’s real or not is kinda pointless when we saw a guy explode himself into a doll. I also like the nod that Chucky knows about as much as the fans do as to why their was a mega explosion. He first kills Karen’s best friend and Andy’s babysitter for the night, which Andy blames Chucky. No one belivies him.. which is understandable.. what’s not is when Chucky kills next, having andy take him to his acomplice’s house and blowing it up, NO ONE seems to question why a little child blew up a known criminal, how he knew where the house was, or why, when the previous crime was done in the home with motive, he killed some random guy. I do love this film but this bit feels especially dumb on the cops part not even bending a LITTLE. But this isn’t a review of the first movie so let’s move on.  Andy is comitted, which as sad as it is to see an innocent child thrown in an institution does make at least some sense so they can find out if he’s really seeing things or not, and Karen returns.. and finds that the Good Guy dolls don’t come with batteries, yet Chucky has been talking like any other toy. As a result we get one of the best scenes in the franchise history if not it’s best, and really, as much as I try I can’t do it justice. Though if you can’t watch in short he does an exorcist when she checks the batteries, she threatens to burn him, and he reveals himself. In long... it’s worth a watch. 

Chucky runs for it, Karen tries to tell Mike who dosen’t belivie her.. until Chucky comes for him. Chucky then heads for Dr.Death, his vodoo 101 teacher, who refuses to help him viewing him an abomination but stupidly left a vodoo fetish of himself around and you can guess the rest. He reveals Chucky can only transfer to the first person he revealed himself too so he heads for Andy with .. this. 

Mancini had to know what he was doing right? Right? Anyway. Karen and Mike find a dying Death who tells them to aim for the heart and who his target is. Andy dodges Chucky and escapes the Aslyum heading home where we get a final confrontation between the Barclay’s, Mike and Chucky, which is damn good and ends with Andy burning the fucker with a badass response to his claim of being his friend to the end “This is the end friend”. This dosen’t quite finish him but a shot to the heart, with Mike to blame, kills the bastard.. for now. Now we’re all caught up, let’s get back to the story. 

Dipshit has called his friends to see Chucky and as seen above, Chucky is wondering why he shoudln’t kill the guy.. but Dumbass has a good point for once: his one friend is studying magic, presumibly at Durmstrang since Hogwarts dosen’t tolerate that kinda shit, and could help summon dr. death to see if they can fix his situation. Granted Death viewed him as an abomination and wanted nothing to do with Chucky, but he might let something slip or have no choice and it’s better than the nothing Chucky has to go on. Chucky gives exposition to Fuckwit’s friends and claims he killed Dr.Death in self defense, which isn’t entirely innacurate and Steaming Bowl of Elephant Piss suggests holding a seance. But one of his friends, Burt, who seems to be the only one to see Chucky for the red flag he is, calls an audible and Chucky grumbles off while they talk in private. 

As you can see, Fuckbucket sets the intellgence standard for his group. However their not SO obnoxious that it distracts from how horrible what’s about to happen will them will be. Except shitty shitty bang bang. Since It’s hard to remember all of the dead meets names i’ll be calling the girl Molly Ringwald, Burt by his name since he’s being sensiable, the moron drinking his own blood Edgelord, and Numbnuts MCGee my current barrage of creative insults. But yeah none of them take Chucky as a threat seriously, which is a nice little meta commentary on how most people think they could take Chucky, even though the guy is nigh unkillable, smart and fast and stronger, if not heavier, than him being a doll would make you think. Burt is the ONLY one here who seems to think harboring a serial killing doll is a terrible idea and thus the only one I respect. And “Most LIkely To Run Into A Wall” has the genius observation seen above where he asks “we’re helping him why would he hurt us”... when he’s already threatned to kill him and has no use for any of them once he has any info they can scrape up, with Burt pointing out even if their sucessful they’ll be responsible for more killing. Sadly he’s outvoted. Seriously while I do like Mangels, I question his opinon on teenagers and horror fans, especially given his long screed about the horrors of the world at the front of the issue and how his comics horrors don’t compare to racisim or homphobia, though the latter is a nice touch considering this was the early 90′s and some horror audiences could be homphobic morons, when the horror fans he portray are a darwin award of the decade winner, a moron who cuts himself not because he has serious issues with depression but to drink his own blood, a witch who goes along with their stupidity, and ... one likeable guy who’s coded as a wuss but is the only sane one here. 

So morons r us, plus burt and chucky, call Dr.Death’s spirit forth in a very moody and atmospheric scene. Naturally it goes GREAT. 

Dr.Death’s form dissolves terrifyingly and awesomely and our morons, and Burt,  are left, literally since they turned the light’s down in the dark> Burt is freaking out and has shards of crap in him thanks to all this.. couldn’t of killed fuckaround could you John? Burt is lead to the bathroom, while Fuckwit and Edgelord head downstairs, Fuckwit heading further down to check the breakers since the power is out for the whole house while Edgelord actually says something smart and wonders what they ALL shoudlv’e been thinking about: Where’s chucky? He has a response in this AWESOME looking panel. 

And here’s where the it dosen’t undercut the tragedy bit comes into play. Sure these kids are kinda dumb.. but most teens are, and they might not belivie he actually killed peope or even if they did, think they can take him as foolishly stated. They had their whole lives to become better people, and Mollly Ringwald and Burt seemed like decent enough people while Edgelord was probably going though a phase. Dum Dum Dumbassigan dosen’t really get a huge repreive but the point is NONE of them deserve to die and they aren’t dialed up to obnoxious, except assface, to be that unsympathetic. Their being stupid sure, but again MOST TEENS ARE or will at least be easily talked into doing something that all common sense says should kill them. And sadly in David, aka edgelord’s case...

Yeah it took a while but I had that gore warning for a reason. And he then decides to fill David with knives. I also stopped calling him edgelord because well. .look at it. The death is horrifying, well drawn and only made worse when Chucky decides to play “pin cushion” and fill him with knives off screen. His next target is sadly my man burt. He does complain A LOT and while a little whiny, given he’s covered in cuts, about to die and was the ONLY ONE here to excercise caution.. yeah he has a right to be. And then.. this happens to Burt in the bathroom...

Yup, THAT just happened. But I like it a lot.. it’s done with style, humor.. but not without horror either. A nicely done little parody. Molly, or wendy as the comic calls her, wonders around the Darkness for a bit.. and then finds David’s corpse.. which I own’t show as holy shit it’s as graphic as it is horrifying. And given what I showed you of his death earlier, that’s saying something.She tells an approaching Moron to stay back.. and well..

In order....... I am so angry at that first panel “I don’t know what happened here....” I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE. 

BITCHCAKES, YOU LET A SERIAL KILLER INTO YOUR HOUSE WHO VANISHED ON YOU AFTER A SPOOKY GHOST TOLD YOU TO KILL HIM OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. WHAT IN THE STAR SPANGLED, CHERRY COATED MARSHMELLOW FUCK DID YOU THINK HAPPENED.  Second, while I get her logic, Fartnugget isn’t capable of working out basic sequence of events let alone killing a person.  And finally.. there is no amount of gifs that can convey how happy I am at that last panel. 

Wendy goes mad from the shock and Chucky, whos’ been lurking under the table this whole time with a Freddy Glove, strikes. 

It’s no “welcome to prime time BITCH”, but I think Freddy would dig it. Naturally, the glove dosen’t kill her but she snaps her neck.. and then chucky , of all things, calls the police. 

I’ll not explode with rage again btu the david’s dead line tempted me, as HE JUST KILLED YOUR FRIEND OF COURSE HE DID. As for his threat... Chucky is unimpressed. See this was his plan. At least once they stopped being useful. Gee who could’ve predicted that? Chucky has decided to frame ponytailed idiot for it, a real brilliant way of going about things, and to me WHY Chucky is such a threat. Even if you beat him, if you don’t have proof.. he still gets you locked up and then comes back stronger than ever. This ending also actually helps with a plot hole some might have with the series. 

Chucky dosen’t leave fingerprints. He MIGHT as he turns more human, bud odds are he dosen’t, thus it’s easy enough to frame whoever’s left.. though it was neat to see him do so intentionally. Truck Nuts breaks down, Chucky flees and we end on a teaser for the next issue as some mysterious Doctor has come to Karen Barclay with promises to help go after Chucky. But that’s for another day. For now our story is done. There’s also a page for a “Stuck On Chuck” contest, with the winners getting to be in issue 5. Just bringing that up so if I ever get there, I won’t have missed it. And with that we finally close out. 

Final Thoughts: 

This issue is excellent. I was expecting something slightly cheesy and not great, and while there are narmy elements: the commentary on horror being a media scapegoat seems out of place and as I made abdundantly clear on second read the lead is insufferable. His fate is still tragic, but he’s such a moron I can’t help but feel he brought it on himself, but his friends aren’t so obnoxious that you don’t feel bad when they do die, a mistake full on horror movies make too often. The kills are gory, as shown there’s some nice visual flair here and there, and chucky is drawn amazingly, especially for the time. There’s an awkward shot here or there but for the most part the artist really captures him well. This comic is a hidden Gem and if your a fan of the films or even just the first one, I strongly recommend it, or if nothing else as I haven’t gotten to the rest, this issue.  If you liked this review, feel free to like or reblog, and if you want one like it for the issue or graphic novel of your choice, just pm and slip 5 bucks into my paypal and i’ll get right on it as soon as the first week of november. Until then, i’m your friend to the end. 

[elvensemi]

Laelia: A, F

*burning elmo gif* (For the unintiated, Laelia is my character in our Monster of the Week game, she’s a cannibal monster and I love her) 

A: Aptitude1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? Origami. It’s a weird little thing that she does to keep her hands idle when she’s watching tv or bored in class. Back in middle school she would just sort of accumulate a ring of little origami swans and stars during the course of the day, and she keeps jars of tiny origami pieces sorted by type and color in her trailer. 2. what activities have they participated in? Laelia was never big into clubs or social groups even after she started high school. She wasn’t good at sports--although several tried to scout her when she had considerable physical improvement during her sophomore and junior years--and wasn’t smart enough for chess or social enough for debate. She does sometimes run drugs and she dabbles idly in prostitution, but those don’t... really count as... activities, really. One time she did absolutely destroy a hot dog eating contest though, and won the cash prize. 3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? Laelia isn’t big on self-improvement. The skills she monetizes were mostly handed to her, like her strength. She isn’t really familiar with the hard work -> skill system. 4. what things are they bad at? Schoolwork. Laelia isn’t objectively the smartest person, to begin with, and she also probably needed glasses when she was younger and never got them. Add in some dyslexia and you have the perfect combination for someone who struggled in school up to the point where they stopped caring. 5. what is their most impressive talent? Well I mean she can unhinge her jaw, that’s pretty cool! She’s also double-jointed, and if you shoot her, she gets better. 

F: Fun1. what do they do for fun? *sweats* UH. Well. Ahem. Other than the obvious. She drinks a lot and does a lot of drugs and wanders around the woods. She’s normally fairly confident she’s the most dangerous thing around, so she can take risks that other people ordinarily would not. She also really likes going to the movies but only goes when Julie invites her. 2. what is their ideal party? Lots of friends, lots of drugs, maybe a pool. Loud, obnoxious, ideally someone would end up passed out on the roof and the cops would be called. 3. who would they have the most fun with? Julie, probably. She doesn’t approve of drugs so Laelia just does them ahead of time, but she’s consistently a good time. She also likes her horror movie nights in with Russet. 4. can they have fun while conforming to rules? Nnnnnnno. 5. do they go out a lot? Yeah! She’s out most days. It’s a warning sign if she goes back to locking herself in her trailer for days or weeks at a time. 

[jewish-privilege]

So as you must imagine this is a pretty festively ADHD time of year for me:

–Hannukah Time—

–Xmas in all its various permutations including 50 versions of “This Christmas” and “Go Tell It on the Mountain,” to be followed by Chinese food and a movie….

—Kwanzaa–yes I celebrate it and Love it!

So let’s start with Hannukah.

A Hannukah primer for the unintiated:

Hannukah is not the Jewish Christmas.  It predates Christmas as a commemoration by a couple hundred years.  Gift-giving as an element of Hannukah emerged fairly late in Jewish tradition and in North America its inextricably tied to the proximity of the holiday to Christmas.  In Eastern Europe and Germany it was traditional for Jews to give a little “gelt,” or Yiddish for gold coins, to their children on Hannukah.  Along the Mediterranean coast and the Middle East Jewish children were encouraged to give tzedakah (which means righteousness but in this case refers to charitable giving) on Hannukah and many received money on Purim or Passover.  If you have ever wondered about those gold or silver foiled chocolate coins–they took the place of the real thing once Jews lived in countries with paper money.

Hannukah has several traditional narratives.  The first one, you may have heard of involves a revolt against the so-called Syrian-Greeks (Greek colonists and Greek influenced Middle Easterners who wanted everybody to follow Greek culture and civilization) and those Jews who really wanted to join them and those who wanted to remain true to Yehudah/Judea and her indigenous Monotheistic temple cult and cultural traditions and laws based around the observance of the Torah.  A war, lasting several years ensued and a heroic figure Yehudah Maccabee emerged leading the Jewish people to victory against the Hellenists and Hellenizers.  The holiday miracle passed down from generation to generation was that there was only one jar of consecrated oil and this oil should only have lasted one day, but lasted eight days.

...Some Hannukah traditions you might want to read up on include eating foods fried in oil–to recall the miracle (all Jewish holidays are keyed towards food and most Jewish foods are keyed with specific Jewish holidays); playing the dreidel–a spinning top with Hebrew letters used to do harmless gambling involving candy and other treats, and lighting the hannukiyah—(what you may have learned as a menorah) each night for eight nights. We are also supposed to say special prayers including the Maoz Tzur (kinda my favorite tune) which means Rock of Ages and the Hallel–Psalms of Praise and Shehecheyanu–which is a prayer on new seasons.  The candlelighting is blessed every night and some, like myself observe a special “umph” day called Zot Hannukah on the last day…

...What do I serve on Hannukah?  Well typically its usually a one day thing that I cook for and I pretty much make the rounds on all other days of the holiday.  While I do like the traditional stuff–latkes-or potato pancakes (some of ya’ll might say hash browns LOL), with sour cream and dill or sour cream and green onions, and doughnuts–always a yum—deep frying is a cooking style particularly important and endemic to both the Middle East and Africa.  It is of course, the cooking style–for good or for ill–that the Southern United States is best known for.

Hannukah meals to me include a lot of treats from the Sephardic world.  My home synagogue is a Sephardi synagogue.  The traditions come from the Middle East and the Mediterranean basin while Ashkenazi traditions come from Central, Northern and Eastern Europe as well as the former Russian Empire.  I will do latkes however as you see above

Just in case you were wondering, traditionally African Jewish communities–the Beta Yisrael of Ethiopia, the Lemba of Southern Africa, and groups in West Africa, did not celebrate Hannukah.  For the Beta Yisrael in particular because Hannukah was not a Biblical holiday they didn’t know of it!  Now in Israel, many Jewish communities of African descent celebrate Hannukah with Jews from around the world.

The Hannukiyah and the Kinara of Kwanzaa are similar in form but don’t have the same meaning.  Hannukiyah’s are in the home because its called in Judaism the Mikdah Me’at–the little Temple. The original menorah was in the Holy Temple–and that menorah—with seven branches instead of nine, held the oil mentioned in the story of the miracle.  The Kinara has seven distinct principles associated with it.

Oh one more thing–Hannukah, Kwanzaa, this, that…all holidays are “made up,”  by human beings for human beings.  I have the feeling that Kwanzaa would be a lot more “official” to the wider world if market forces could benefit from it–but its not a holiday that’s meant to be commercialized.  It is a holiday where African Americans and people of African descent who choose to celebrate it are supposed to keep money in their community (cooperative economics) and to overall avoid spending a lot of money on needless things and commercializing the observance… So for you Kwanzaa-naysayers, put that in your kinara and light it!

I know Hannukah is over for this year, but Michael Twitty has some excellent recipes at the link!

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

One: I sighed as the elevator began to shake, vibrating with motion. please. For those unintiated, its from YIIK (which stands for Y2K), a not very good, but very memeable, RPG.

okidoke

Askbox is currently closed as I work my way through these older asks

[lecliss]

ALIEN PREGNANT?!?!!?!? i support furry girlfriend but maybe she should date someone else. Also hell yes he's trans

TRANS BEN! TRANS BEN!

But yeah, agreed. It was really just a one off joke that was unintially insensitive from the only episode Kai appeared in initially, but then she was brought back and it was Flanderized into her being a full on furry that only cared about Ben's alien forms that she liked(the werewolf the most) to the point that she didn't give a single shit about Ben at first. And like, there's nothing wrong with Kai really. I chalk it up to bad writing honestly. But, that did NOT make her a favorable character after that, lmao. And also did not give the basis of her relationship with Ben a very good justification which from then on only felt forced to keep the future that the original series established when the show had contradicted several established things already. Like, just cuz the original series said Ken's mom was Kai doesn't mean they had to keep that when it changed Kevin's entire backstory just an arc before. Like??? Just annoying tbh.

Anyway! Alien pregnant! One of my favorite episodes in the whole franchise actually!! So, one of Ben's aliens is a Necrofriggian, which reproduces asexually once every, fuckin. I dunno. Thousand-something years. And it just so happens that the week this species wide event occurs is in the same time frame Ben is alive, and the same week as prom.

So Ben's Necrofiggian in the Omnitrix, Big Chill, starts taking over and eating metal all around town. It's disrupting Ben's life while he's also acting kinda strange. Which, I shit you not, was pregnancy symptoms. He ate a whole jar of pickles and then drank the pickle juice. In front of Kevin. After adjusting Kevin's bowtie for prom and saying Kevin looked really nice in his suit.

And then, like, in the middle of prom, Big Chill takes over and flies away and the gang follow him and find him at his NEST that he built out of all the metal he ate. It was not graphic. No human style of birth happened. But there were like ten or so baby Necrofiggians that formed(they are legit adorable, trust me) and then the tiny last one shares a look with Ben and he says a final word to his baby children as they flufter away into space. And yes, it's kinda weird, but also super cute and it makes me fuckin cry man.

And then!! In an episode in Omniverse, Ben is dealing with Ma Vreedle after some clones of her sons were killed and Ben made a comment about understanding what it's like to be a Mother and something about either missing or loving your kids and. Fuck man. 😭😭😭😭😭 Ben feels a real connection to those babies and it crushes my entire soul!!!

So yeah, Ben trans.