#found out he had two cousins he didnt know about

[mrsthunderkin]

Panique~*•°○☆▪︎°•○~

[wonbin-truther]

˚⊹ ᰔೀ dream boyfriend: incoming ˚⊹ ᰔೀ

╰┈➤ mixer pt 2

the mixer was practically full wall to wall with bodies. you had lost soobin within the first few minutes of arriving, although you assumed he was with the baseball team. your sorority sisters had left some time ago, telling you they were going to grab a drink and sit outside. you told them to give you a second to join them, wanting to first finish your bottle of water before you filled your body with liquor. you craned your neck on your tiptoes, trying to peer over the crowd that had inexplicably bunched up near the kitchen entrance.

"the alcohol cant be that good," you mumbled to yourself. stepping back down. you pushed a bit closer until two voices started to become recognizable.

"shut up asshole," the distinct shrill voice of your cousin rang through the air. you froze as another voice shot back at her, although it was somewhat quieter.

"can we please not do this here?" mark pleaded, glanced around at the crowd that had formed. somi scoffed, "so you think you can block me on everything and get away with it? over my dead body," somi scoffed.

"somi plea-" mark was cut off by a stinging pain across his face. the air seemed to still as the loud slap echoed through the party and settled in the whispers of the crowd. mark touched his reddening cheek, staring at the smaller girl in front of him with disbelief.

"i dont want to hear it. this is probably because of those dumbass friends of yours. god i told you to stay away from them. they would only fill your mind with lies and try to get you away from me."

you looked over and watched as jeno extended an arm out in front of haechan who was two seconds away from jumping in.

"anything to say?" somi crossed her arms in front of her body. marks head hung low and you felt a pang in your chest seeing him look so small. with one last disgusted look, somi turned on her heels and walked away.

you watched as his friends rushed to his side, questioning him about whatever just went down. you didnt know if you should walk over or mind your business. mark looked up, suddenly making eye contact with you. your feet started moving before you could even think.

"what’re you pouring," you asked the man standing in front of the counter. he held the labelless bottle of clear liquid in front of you.

"not too sure. wanna test it out?" he smiled. something about him gave you an icky feeling but you pushed it away, excusing it as just lingering feelings over mark and somi.

"sure just a little though," you watched as he grabbed a red cup, pouring the mystery liquid into it. "you're not gonna drink?" you stared at him.

he shook his head, "designated driver for tonight. im just serving the drinks." you hummed, downing the small amount in the red cup. he watched tentatively as you scrunched your face, "ugh definitely tequila."

"you came with anyone?" the guy asked. you didnt realize but he started to inch closer and closer to where you stood. "yea choi soobin. hes number 5 on the baseball team. im just trying to find my sorority sisters," you tapped your phone screen to see if you had any texts from any of the mentioned people.

"i dont see them around."

your fight or flight started to kick in as a hand found its way to your waist. you pushed the man away, "i have a boyfriend."

"i dont see him anywhere here either," the man only got closer to you, leaning closer and closer.

"dude seriously," you tried to back away but your balance felt shaky and your vision was starting to blur.

you shook your head, trying to gain ahold of your senses as the man laughed, taking your wrists into his with a hold youre sure would cause a bruise later.

"hey! what the fuck do you think you're doing with her?" was the last voice you heard before everything faded to black.

previous - main - next

synopsis! it wasnt your fault mark was the first profile to appear on your instagram! and it was most definitely not your fault when you told your annoying older cousins that mark lee, the captain of your unis soccer team, was your boyfriend and somehow got him invited to the next family reunion...

tags! (closed) @haedgaf @onlyhyunjin @mmjhh1998 @nctrawberries @multifandomania @hyuoonp @kittydollzz @bathilda @413ktz @alethea-moon @meowmarkie @urlocalbeaner5 @nanaxwi @lvrholic @sunghoonsgfreal @jakeshuneybby @nosungluv @evilsailorsenshi @calumsfringe @haesungie @tommina @vantxx95 @markeroolee @soobsung @tynlvr @morkiee @sehunniepot @starfilledgaze @pickmedolls @xcosmi @nneteyamss @slayhaechan @neozon3nha @nneteyamss @lionzyon @jakeslucifer @bbina @winwintea

[iwanty0uu]

❄︎ all characters are 19+ y/n being 20, second female character being 19, and male character being 21, contains swearing and mentions of violence ❄︎

•unedited•

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑…

Three weeks passed since the event with your “sister” and you didnt know how to feel. Life felt like a fever dream and as you sat down sadly in your college dorm, you received a dm, from Connie.. ?

You two had chemistry, well chemistry wasn’t the word, maybe advanced biology.. he was the type to make you think that he was all about you in private during your late high-school years, and then act like you were nothing more than friends in public. Considering that you two were friends, you couldn’t tell whether you were really trippin bout the way he acted or if you just caught feelings while he didnt. So for your own peace, you un-added him and went no contact. This went on for three years until tonight.You opened your inbox and the message read:

“long time no talk..heard niggas spreading shit bout you that aint sit right.. tell me wassup my heart.”

Your heart dropped.. the fuck was he talking about you like that for? HE CHEATED! WITH YOUR SISTER AT THAT!!

“Fuck it” you thought and began typing your paragraph..

𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

You remembered the footsteps that entered your household, and it was her.. Your sister, Nataly and your newly EX BOYFRIEND entering your home, your safe haven. She was greeted with stares from her father, brother and yourself. “How could you do that to your sister?” Your father asked? His tone was low, and he seemed hurt for you, but this was no regular empathy, this was trauma.His face seemed as if he had seen one thousand years worth of pain and heartbreak, and it broke him to know that his daughter, his baby was just like the person who had hurt him. History repeats itself no?

“Y/n I’m not here to ask for your forgiveness but I did come here to apologize-“ before he could finish his sentence, his face was met with your fathers fist, his blood flew through the kitchen, spreading along the kitchen floor like wet fresh paint. The crunch of Ony’s nose filled the room which was followed by a gut wrenching scream.. He had no time to talk or explain himself. You would have never expected your father to move so quickly considering his size and weight but it seemed as if he took his anger out on the boy. The boy who looked too much like the one who betrayed him and slept with his gold digging…wife, his cousin. After your brother pried your father and ex apart, Ony was unconscious, and your father’s once dark blue polo almost looked the same shade as midnight, and was soaked..

You watched your sister to see how she would react, would she try to help him? Ask daddy “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” in the voice she uses when she doesn’t get what she wants? But to your surprise, she tried to hug you, grabbing your hands and repeating “It was only twice.. it only happened twice.” Your brother must have seen the glint in your eye which caused him to act faster than you could, separating you and your sister before she got a matching broken nose.. “OH SO IM PEACE-MAKER TODAY HUH?” he repeated, pacing up and down the kitchen. “AWWWEEE SHITTTT IM GOING TO JAIL I GOT FINGER PRINTS ALL ON THIS BITCH- YO POP YOU MURDERED HIM- NIGGAS NOT EVEN BREATHING-“ his tattooed hands touched his waves, rubbing his face and fanning himself dramatically.

“You’re dead to me” you said to Nataly. And it was the last thing you remembered before leaving your home in a frenzy. “why does this shit happen to me god?” you pleaded in your car, eyes too swollen to drive causing you to pull over and take a break. After that, your memory was foggy, you did make it home though and skipped school for a week after..

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭

You found that your conversation with Connie lasted for hours, then led to an instagram facetime, then let to an actual facetime, to talking every day for the next month, being shady to Ony together, throwing subs on social media about him, and having study sessions. Over this month, your time in the empty lecture halls with him were the best, being alone in a big room with someone who you “weren’t supposed to be with” always turned you on.. or maybe you were just a little perv, but Connie noticed this. He noticed this as he sat next to you instead of across from you one day, how you looked at his lips and not his eyes when he got the correct answer. You purposely told him that you would reward him if he passed his exam which he did, knowing exactly what you had in mind. He noticed how your soft plush lips eased into his as if they craved the intimate privacy that they once despised, craving the secrecy that caused your situationship to fail. Your slick coated your dark brown g-string under your long skirt that was now hiked up, as you sat on his lap, the way he played with your nipple piercing remembering how everyone said it was dumb to get just one but it fit you so well. This was his first time touching you this way in years, and he would make this a moment to remember. Although he wanted to continue, he stopped to wash his hands at the lab sink before he began, and then came back to finish your lewd scene. You sat patiently waiting for him to finish and this gave you time to think about your actions. Were you doing this because of Ony? No, so why do you feel so nervous?

He turned around and returned to his seat, kissing your skin which sent tingles up your spine, calming you down, but you still had something on your mind and it made your balls blue. Your high came down and as usual, he noticed. Knowing Connie for as long as you did, his maturity was now visible and in that moment he promised that you’d be his number 1. It was hard to trust niggas now-a-days but what did you have to lose? If all hell breaks loose just wait until it freezes over and go about your life as you did before him. So being you, it was easy to agree but even harder to believe him, but you ignored it. You knew yourself well and if he didn’t treat you how you were supposed to, then he’d be gone. The heat between you went back to its intensity as he deepened the kiss, leaving hickies around the open skin on your chest above your tube top. Your legs fluttered open at his touch and you felt his erection almost burning into the fat of your ass, he slowly put his fingers back inside of you, thrusting while curving his fingers inside of you, hitting your sweet spot. You could feel yourself coming to your high, gripping onto his shoulders riding his fingers, begging for his touch and affection. You pulled at his studded earlobe with your teeth as his erection stimulated your clit. You found yourself tugging on his sweats, begging to be touched by him… You slid your hand into his ethikas, pulling out his cock, it twitched while you rubbed his pink tip that was already lubricated with his pre cum. You played with the plump of his pink lips while you grounded yourself onto his dick, sinking your way onto him. You both were on the edge and near to cum, so you weren’t surprised when he bucked his hips into you before you could gain your senses. You lost control of your body as it bucked in return, matching his pace and his sloppy rythm. “Fuckkkkkk con- shit” you rubbed his shoulders as you felt your high approaching.

“You take this dick good huh ma-“ he grunted, his rhythm now inconsistent as he slowed down, edging the both of you. You felt as if you were on cloud nine, the way he caressed your skin, touching you in the places that were left cold by your ex… rubbing his favorite spots on your body. His tongue grazed against your own, swirling in the pool of your saliva, he bit your lip causing you to jump slightly. He laughed while kissing the both of your cheeks, his thumb re-located to your clit, rubbing faster and harder, pressing down against your sweet spot as you whined against his hips.

“Connie! I’m cumminggggg, oh my-“ You grabbed his body for support as you felt him release inside of you, he gripped your hips, holding you still as you jerked against him, still in the after shock of your orgasm.

“Hold on y/n- shittt” he whispered as he felt his seed leak out of you. He slightly moved his hips, pushing the other half of his girth that couldn’t fit inside of you. As it kissed your cervix, you felt your eyes roll back…but there was another pair watching you.You both heard shushed voices outside of the door, forgetting the time and how the night classes started at 8pm… it was currently 9:30 and by the grace of God no one entered the lecture hall whilst you and connie had your randevu.

“shit the time-“ you mumbled, quickly hopping off of him, loosing balance instantly as he held you up. You grabbed some wipes that sat in the inner pocket of your telfar, and cleaned you both up to the best of your ability. You couldn’t control the giggles that left your mouth as you fled the crime scene, but that night liberated you.

𝟏𝟐:𝟎𝟎𝐚𝐦

Connies head rested on your chest as it rose and fell,he slept as you were left alone with your thoughts. You didn’t regret what happened and were looking forward to a future with him..but who’s eyes were it that you felt?…..

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐟𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐝.

hope yall liked this as much as i DREADED MAKING THIS jkjk..mwahh!~𝓵𝓮𝓵𝓮

[serxinns]

Hello! :3 so I have yandere platonic another sibling request so how about Izuku having a older sister who is protective I mean protective of him and would always glare at anyone who is mean to him and plus she is a platonic yandere, so when she learn about students who make fun of him in junior school let’s just say those students got put in the hospital for bad burns, and Izuku’s older sister would be friendly to class 1-a and kinda friendly to bakugou because she almost burned him after she hear that he was bullying Izuku, also here’s a scenario so her and Izuku and he accidentally talked about the training island arc and how there was no teachers on the island and when she heard that she went to nezu office and started screaming at him and almost burned his office if it wasn’t for class 1-a holding her back, so if you want to add any another reader oc maybe Izuku’s cousin?

Ok!

You were always protective of Izuku, ever since you found out Izuku was quirkless you swore that you would protect him no matter what, whenever bakugo tried to mess up and tease Izuku about not being quirkless you would call off his bluff and you ended up turning and into a yelling match between the two of you, if it wasn't for izuku excusing "kaccha's" words saying he was just teasing him the two of you would've been in the hospital

Izuku admired his older sibling ever since then he thought that you were all might 2.0! He would glare at any student who dared to talk to his sibling or drag you away making excuses saying he needed help with some of his homework or wanted to show off his new all might figure as the years grew izuku grew more attached to you way too attached to the point where you can't even be alone with him but you brushed it off as it was your job as the older sibling to protect plus you even admired how he was protecting his younger cousin Izumi!

But ever since he suddenly got this Powerful quirk and went to Ua your stress levels and protective levels went to the chain, giving you a heart attack every time a new scar was on his or Izumi's body, your mom crying finding out about The USJ incident and the and endless hospital trips was giving you a gray hair you even begged for your mother to just pull him and Izumi put of UA already 😭

You just wanted your little brother and cousin to be safe why can't they realized it yet!?

One day when you izuku and Izumi were talking to One another izuku accidentally mentioned the camp and you went BALLISTIC pressuring both of them to tell what happened Izumi spat out everything every single detail while Izuku was sweating bullets from seeking your frown turned into a deadly glare

Nezu was busy doing some school paperwork it was 5 pm he was happily drinking his tea and humming to some sweet classical music until he heard a bang and some yelling "Y/N SAN PLEASE!!" "NO WHAT WERE THEY THINKING THOSE BASTARDS" He heard him turn down his music a bit to listen to Cleary of what the commotion was about not even a 1 min later he saw a raging h/c you fire coming out of your mouth and with what seems to be ripped tape around their body like someone was trying to restraint them and izuku and Izumi and other of his classmates trying to hold you down

"Y/N MIDORIYA THIS IS NOT A APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AS CLASS REP I ORDER YOU TO STOP THIS AT ONCE" Iida yelled while grabbing into one of your arms while Kirishima held the other "Wow Izuku I didn't know your sibling was that strong" Kirishima said as he tried to pinned the other arm "Y/N PLEASE THEY ALREADY HANDLED IT I SWEAR IM FIN-" "BULLSHIT THIS WOULDNT HAD HAPPEN IF THIEE TEACHERS DIDNT DO THEIR FUCKING JOB" you said shaking and squirming around trying to get iida and kirishima off you so you can kill the rat

While all this is happening next looks so done just sipping his tea with a "😐" face and signs "4th destroying office incident this week" he thought as he sipped his tea once again and decided it was enough watching this tomfoolery "Right everyone let's y/n go I'll have a private chat with them" everyone including izuku and Izumi hesitated but let go praying you wouldn't kill the principal

After the whole conversation, you both agreed that the staff and teachers would be extra careful with you and make sure to watch out for Izuku and Izumi more (especially Izuku) in the condition that you get a week of house arrest cause you interfere with his quiet time and ruined almost half of his paperwork lol

[demontonic]

Obi wan with a bf who infodumps a lot?

OKAY IM GONNA DO THIS FIRST CUZ ITS GONNA BE LIKE REALLY SHORT

you would be the first guy hes with

hes pretty shy at first but youre just so excited about someone finally showing interests when you go on a ramble

the first time you did it he was simply looking at the stars and suddenly he was sitting down in the grass next to you listening to you talk about supernovas and black holes

you thought he was genuinely interested in what you had to say and that you were telling him things hed never knew

it simply was not that he hadnt known everything he needed to know about the stars, but you talked so passionately about the topic he was so entranced

he made it a point to be at the spot the next night hopeing you were there

to his disappointment you werent, the next morning however he saw you working in a small restaurant

he took anakin with him and had lunch there, you quickly noticed him and started taking his order

he was shocked to see someone so smart and full of knowledge working as a waiter, it was almost too mundane for you in his eyes

he questioned you as his, what you assumed to be, brother watched the interaction

“I thought you were a librarian, or an astrologist- even a pilot with all your vast knowledge”

“Oh- no no I just like to read a lot of books, I’ve always worked here it’s actually my families restaurant so I didn’t have a choice- not that I don’t like working here or anything it’s just expected I mean even my cousins work here and it’s always been family owned! My great grandmother opened this restaurant a long time ago so- um im sorry what can I get you?”

Anakin teased Obi wan for days after that, especially once he found out you two were meant to hang out with each other soon

It wasn’t a date or anything… right?

He took you into the jedi archives, you’d traveled and seen many beautiful libraries but nothing compared to the jedi archives

He’d spent about 10 minutes explaining the different areas and topics, especially the areas with knowledge only open for jedis

after that he wondered the aisles with you until both of you were holding at least six books

you’d sat in a far corner together quietly speaking on the different books you had collected

obi wan would never tell you but he’d read most of these books, yet he sat nodding along to you explaining like it was a grand secret

once you two started dating he hadnt even told anakin about you, he was too scared to lose you

at first you didnt want to if you had to remain a secret, but you were already too in love to stop now

you hadn’t meant to tell anakin as you knew obi wan was scared he’d tell but when anakin started talking about obi wan in battle you couldn’t help yourself

“Obi Wan is extraordinary truly it amazes me to hear of his adventures, makes me wonder if im worth it”

“so you two are together”

Id imagine in this instance anakin would then come out about padme and you guys would all live happily ever after

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

what is the story of you and violet like how did you start and how did it reach to where it did, of course only if you’re comfortable. ( i’m not trying to mock you or make fun of it, ik what you went through but since you said anything personal, i have wanted to know this. i’m interested in things which are none of my business. i pray im not sounding rude, i really want to come of as nicely as i can, but i can’t)

whole story below the cut, there’s a tldr at the end bc i added a load of unnecessary details. js brace its kind of a long one.

so we met when i was 12 and he was 15. i remember it was june 2020. i didn’t like him at first—got sort of a weird vibe. but then i got to know him more and, by september-ish, he became one of my best friends. by november, i thought of myself as having a crush on him (i didnt know i was aroace at the time) but i never made a move bc he was dating one of my friends, lets call her jude. we talked pretty much every day. i had to leave our friend group for safety reasons but he was my source of contact with the rest of my friends. i think we mainly talked on discord at the time?

flash forward to new years eve of 2020, and something happens. i’ll spare you the details, but needless to say my devices got confiscated. i still remembered his discord id, so i got my best friend to msg him and tell him what happened. i also got my favorite cousin to do the same, so he’d have two ways of talking to me.

keep in mind, my best friend and cousin both had it in their minds that i had a crush on him, so they’d both try to get him to like me. in june i think he broke up w jude. my cousin was also in regular contact with jude on instagram, so i got to msg jude at some point after the breakup and i distinctly remember her saying she’d be okay if i dated him but she personally was so unhappy w him. i didnt get that, but i think i later did

years pass w barely any contact. december 2022, i start dating someone else. january 2023, i realize i chose the absolute worst person and i break things off. then april 2023, i manage to get in contact w violet. we start dating the next day. (here he’s told me that he’s genderqueer he/she, but later he denied this)

i talked to him anytime i could and he'd send selfies a lot. i was scared about my parents so i asked him not to. he'd do it anyway. i didnt ask him to stop after that

he wasn’t necessarily a bad boyfriend, i js didnt rlly feel. idk. special? i’d make playlists for him and send voice recordings whispering “i love you” in arabic but i never got any of that back ig. the first few weeks were the best but after that? nothing. i’d send pics and he’d call me pretty and hot and say he’s so lucky to have me. later i found out he called every girl pretty when he’d see a pic of her.

i self-harmed for the first time when i was with him. what he did was ask me to send a pic of it so he could check if its bad. i told him i was suicidal. i dont remember what he said.

and then came june 15th, 2023. what a day. i talked to him at like midnight my time. i remember the last thing he asked was for me to send a selfie so he could show me off to his friend.

then my mom found out. and i was so scared of her getting angry at me that i downed 16 pills and got rushed to the hospital.

my mom didnt get angry. but my devices were confiscated again. and i couldnt talk to him. keep in mind, he knew i was suicidal. i was expecting some kind of response from him through my best friend because he was still talking to her at the time, but i didnt hear anything. instead, nine days after i tried to kill myself, on the 24th of july, he broke up with me. 

i didn’t blame him. when your suicidal gf ghosts you for nine days ofc you’re gonna wanna move on. it’s not his fault. i js felt kind of lonely, yknow? on the 30th i managed to log into my acc to talk to him, to explain everything, n all i saw was a breakup msg. i dunno.

in october-ish of 2023, i managed to get thru to him. i explained everything. he didnt give much of a response, but he did ask if we could keep talking. i said sure. we did keep talking and i invited him to tumblr bc i had more of a presence here than anywhere else. when my mom confiscated tumblr in november, i continued talking to him on google chat

in february 2024 he was my valentine js bc we were both single and alone and we thought itd be fun. i wrote him a letter. he didnt make me anything but its fine. you get the idea we were getting closer again

by this point i realized i wasnt receiving the amount of love i deserve, and i was kind of sad bc he’s not a muslim and i am, so we couldn’t get married, therefore we wouldnt have a future together (i’m the kind of person who wouldn’t have a relationship w someone if it won’t lead to anything in the long-term). he told me he wouldn’t become a muslim or study islam for me, so i respected that. i wouldnt forcibly convert him. but i also acknowledged that i couldn’t be w someone who’s not a muslim, so i asked him to stop talking to me. he said okay.

he’d still reblog stuff and send me asks—he even asked me to write a poem about him for my follower event. but around that time i had kind of been getting drained from exams and i didnt want boy problems on top of that, so i asked him to stop all contact w me. he respected that, as far as i know. he wished for me to have a nice life. i wished the same for him. and i blocked him. i havent talked to him since then at all, i dont think

so yeah. kind of lengthy story thats a whole load of nothing. i dont want you to go bother him about this. he was my friend before being my boyfriend, and he was with me during a dark time in my life. i respect him and i ask for you to please not send hate towards him. think what you will, just dont bother him. i’d be happy to answer anything else, but i think i js about covered everything.

tldr; we met when i was 12 and he was 15. we dated starting when i had just turned 15 and he was almost 18. he broke up with me after i attempted sewerslide. we continued talking for a while after reconnecting but i cut him off again last feb for religious reasons and we havent talked much since.

[mediocre-noodle]

THE WRITING!! ->

context for last photo (bc its new worldbuilding):

before releasing the flowers (at a funeral rite in kismadoré), a chosen someone starts off a poem and then the others attending chime in on the second verse. the poem was created by dallas during the wilds’ arc. its traditionally spoken at funeral rites in kismadoré.

the first funeral rite ever in kismadoré was a mass mourning when they had first found the ruins and the poem was said by dallas. the first one after the walls came down (day of the coup d’état) was led by asmo (juno has social anxiety).

(<- was inspired by the monologue from hiccup during stoic’s (? spell check) funeral scene in HTTYD)

general summary and background of the writing bc you cant tell what happened from the first paragraph ->

this is at the closing of the coup d’état (aka storming the castle and killing the king— dallas’ bio dad). just maybe 10-15 mins before this, dallas had killed his father and the battle was nearing a close (the resistance won if it isnt clear). there were many casualties on both sides. even though the battle was won, there were still fights going on (not many. not a huge battle zone. its more of resistance who are still trying to stay alive vs royals who are loyal and basically worship their king.)

on his way to help others still engaged in fights, dallas encountered a childhood friend-now-enemy who was pissed at him (enemy now bc indoctrination. also his cousin,, btw.) they were yelling at him and then just,, shot him. dallas was trying to de-escalate.

asmodae was nearby and heard the yelling and came to help fight (didnt know it was dallas— thought it was just another straggler) but sw what happened. she killed the friend turned enemy (shot to the head) (get rid of the threat is an important lesson skip taught them, even if it makes them sick thinking about it) and ran to try and stop dallas from bleeding, even if she knew it was pointless. dallas bled out in her arms.

hours later, when everything is over, asmo throws away the jacket that she used to try and stop the bleeding. its ruined. not with blood, but with memories. that night, she sits in the bath for almost two hours, scrubbing herself red trying to get dallas’s blood off her hands, even though it came off on the second wash. even to this day, shes convinced its under her fingernails.

-> the ✨ angst ✨ (btw i searched up symptoms of blood loss for this. your welcome /j (it included confusion ehhehehe)) (also this takes place over like,, 3.5 mins maybe. i write a bit fast paced i think. makes sense though bc hES DOOMEDDD HES BLEEDING OUTTT RAPIDLYY he also is a bit malnourished bc eating issues which may also affect it) (also yes i wrote the poem- aha) (im not The Best at writing sometimes— it takes sm energy for me to do it. i can do poetry but its gotta mean something)

dude……………. dude………………………………………

ive been trying to think of words for like 5 minutes but like. all i can think of is godDAMN

[cannibal-unicorn-ssssss]

Thunder cuddles.

Warnings : Not much, this is fluff, mentions of thunder and cigarettes.

No specific gender !!

im sorry its short, i randomly got this idea in class !! lolzz enjoy

You were at Brodies house , his aunt uncle and cousin were out of town, so you and Zakk were staying the night at Brodie. Zakk was smoking a cigarette in the living room, laying on the couch as he flipped through one of the magazines he stole from his father. You took the aunts room , staring at the ceiling , knowing you werent able to sleep because of the thunder outside, you always were afraid of thunder, or any loud noises, even if you hated to admit it. You curl into a ball , holding onto your legs as you try to sleep, trying to ignore the loud thuds from outside, it was already late, and Brodie had to be asleep. You shift in bed for hours, the rain nor the thunder were near to stopping, You eventually got tired of it, you sat up, looking arond before standing up and tiptoying to Brodies room, peaking in to see him listening to some of your cds , he probably had his headphones to max , since he didnt turn around to the sound of his door creaking open. You walk in, closing the door behind you before walking to Brodie, sitting on the bed and putting a hand on his back, making him jump. He takes his headphones off, looking up at you. ''You fucking scared me.'' He let out a shaky breath and sarcastically as you chuckled at his reaction. ''I can't sleep, and Zakk is probably whacking off to his stupid magazines. '' You say, your voice was softer, trying to make an excuse. Brodie looked away and nodded, understanding your explenation, or excuse in this case. ''Yeah.okay.. well what do you want to do? im pretty bored.'' He replied, looking back at your face , smilng softly. ''You just want to hang out here? you know, i dont mind you sleeping here .'' He added after, you look away. ''Yeah, i just need some company. '' You said, sighing knowing you needed anything, anything to fall asleep and ignore the sounds. Suddenly you heard the loudest thunder of the night, making you flinch slightly. Brodie took notice of this, slowly getting closer to you. ''Hey, you okay? its just thunder you know..'' He whispers, trying to comfort you, his hand goes to your shoulder, which made you look at him. ''Yeah,,...im..just scared of thunder, but im not a fucking pussy or something!'' You replied embarassed. Brodie sighs, looking away. ''Im also scared of thunder.. youre not pussy dude.'' He admits, sighing again. ''You want me to help you sleep? i dont know, hug till we fall asleep or something..? Im just trying to help..'' He asked, making you blush a bit. ''I dont need hugs- '' You defended, making Brodie roll his eyes, ''Zakk is not in here, he wont tease us for being scared.'' You were hesitant at first , but after a few minutes you found yourself awkwardly hugging eachother in bed, listening to the rain. ''I hope you locked the door, can you check? '' You asked, your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. ''Im sure i did, im too comfortable to move. '' He said, his eyes were closed as he held you close, making sure to make you feel comforted. ''You dont have to stay awake. you can sleep.'' He whispered, which made you finally close your eyes, feeling more comfortable cuddling your best friend, which you never did. You quickly fell asleep in eachothers arms, forgetting about the thunder and the rain.

Next morning, you two peacfully woke up, letting out yawns and sighs. You look over to Brodie, bursting out laughing at him, making him confused. ''What? Do i have something on my face? '' He said, slowly touching his face, his eyes were still closed, being half asleep. ''You have a penis drawn on your face..'' You say, making him sit up, and looking over at you. ''You do too..'' He said, smiling . Your laugh was gone, looking around for a mirror until you spot some pictures on the floor. You pick it up, looking at it, realizing it was you and Brodie cuddling last night, under it was was ' Fucking loverbirds.' written in a black marker, Zakk probably took this. ''Fucking Zakk took these .'' Brodie groaned. You two heard Zakk laugh and make a stupid joke about the two of you.

[avidreaderffn]

Here's the supergirl au that has been churning in my head for WEEKS now. If anyone has any more ideas, feel free to add them! I'd love to see them. Also let me know what you think about the roles i assigned each character!

SUPERGIRL AU

Right before the planet Krypyon exploded, two renowned and highly respected scientists put their daughter and her cousin on escape pods to save their lives.

Young Beatrice was told it would be her duty to care for her baby cousin Shannon, raise her, and make sure she knew her culture and became what an appropriate member of the House of El should be. Beatrice vows to do this, and both pods are sent off.

However, Beatrice just had to hug her mother one more time, so her pod left slightly after Shannon's. The last thing her father said to her was "just go! You dont have time for this emotional gestures!"

And. He was right. Because of her pod leaving later, the explosion knocked it off course and into the Phantom Zone.

When she finally came out of it and made it to Earth, two decades had passed. Her baby cousin was suddenly older than her, and acted fully like an Earthling. And Beatrice had failed before she even landed.

She briefly went to live with Shannon and her girlfriend Mary, an investigative reporter who was making a name for herself for being badass and no-nonsense and always getting to the point of her investigations, no matter the danger to herself.

Beatrice tried to teach Shannon more about Krypton while she lived with them, but the lessons kept getting derailed when Beatrice would break a spoon or put a hole in a wall or say something in kryptonese or question some commonplace Earth thing. Ironically, Beatrice was not earthly enough to be able to teach Shannon how to be kryptonian.

And. Shannon was just making a name for herself as Superwoman, the Warrior who could Bear the world's problems on her shoulders. And Bea living with her was threatening to expose her and putting her and Mary in danger.

It was Mary who came up with a solution. The Villaumbrosia family were british scientists who had earned Superwoman's trust and helped her understand her powers and adapt to them as they appeared (and were rather smug about it). Also, they had a daughter around Beatrice's age.

So Bea was sent to live with them, and to learn how to grow up as an Earth child.

Her new sister, Lilith, was told endlessly by her parents that it was up to her to always protect Bea, to he a role model, and to teach her how to pass as human and cover for her when she couldnt.

Bea grew up learning to fit herself into the box of humanity, trying not to stand out, to be as human as she could be, and to learn as much as she could about Earth so she could do it right. Eventually, her love for learning and her need to teach Shannon about their culture shifed into a love for teaching people about their own world, and she became a reporter for the scientific magazine Arqtech, led and founded by renowned scientist Jillian Salvius. There Bea reported about everything from the scientific advances Jillian was making, to analysis about various cultures from an antropological and technological point of view. Still, Bea didnt usually get close to people because she still sometimes acted in ways that gave people pause, and assumed that it was the kryptonian in her, and that she may put Shannon and Lilith in danger.

Meanwhile, Lilith grew up being told that she was supposed to be the protector of Shannon's cousin. She learned to shield Bea from everything, and joined the DEO in order to protect her from within the alien hunting branch of the government. Eventually, in one of her missions, she meets Camila, a stubbornly pro-alien detective, who teaches her to see things differently, to allow herself to just Be, and that not everything is a threat all the time, and even if it were, it doesnt always have to be Lilith's responsabiliy to fix it all by herself.

The DEO was run by secretly-an-alien Mother Superion, who was a shape shifter who had more in common with Shannon and Bea than they knew. She kept up the façade of hating and hunting all aliens, but secretly worked with people like Camila and DEO agents Dora and Yasmine to help them out of dangerous situations.

One of the people Bea was most wary of was Adriel Luthor. He was a billionaire who was viciously anti-alien, and had tried to kill Shannon in the past.

Once, when he had nearly succeeded, Mary had -almost- managed to expose him as being behind everything. So, to get attention off himself, or rather, get positive attention and distract from Shannon, he'd looked into something he'd learned from his father's will. His father had had a mistress and a daughter, and at some point the woman had been killed by a drunk driver and the child paralyzed. Adriel figured a medical miracle would be enough to get the press out of his dealings, and had his right hand man, Vincent, go fetch her. By that point Ava was a teenager and had been in the orphanage for years.

Adriel "created" the Halo. In truth, he'd based the design heavily on some technology he'd stolen from Shannon's pod, one of the last physical links she had to her home planet.

With the halo, Ava recovered full mobility and was indeed paraded in front of the cameras until the heat about Shannon died down. She was strictly forbidden from mentioning the chronic pain or any lingering issues she had, because "i fixed you Ava. Cured you. You should be grateful about it. And I dont make mistakes, so the pain is just in your head"

Years later, Adriel got put behind bars and Ava ran to national city to get out from under his thumb and get to properly experience life.

Meanwhile, Bea saved Lilith's plane from falling.

Once they meet, Bea is wary at first that Ava is going to be another Adriel, only to be taken aback at how much Ava loves and enjoys life.

Bea has dedicated her life to learning and perfecting Earth experiences. Ava teaches her to live them, and enjoy them.

Ava does what she can to undo the damage Adriel has caused to the alien community, and she grows close to Bea, and as they eventually become a couple, they learn how to live for themselves, regardless of the expectations others may have about them.

[haemosexuality]

memories i have of being a child and a lesbian:

-first week of 3rd grade, i walked in class and thought "ok i need to pick a boy to have a crush on this year". i thought that was just what you did. picked one bc i thought he had a cool haircut, proceeded to never have a conversation w him

-thinking "girls are naturally so much prettier than boys. this is common knowledge"

-being really jealous of the Cool Girl in my 4th grade class that was One Of The Boys. she played football with them. she sat really relaxed in chairs. she doesnt care about being pretty. isnt that just so cool? starts consciously trying to imitate her. also, even before that i always made sure to INSIST that my favorite color was blue and i did NOT like pink!!!!

-playing barbies with my cool, older cousin (she mustve been like 11? 12? i was around 8). her barbie was a mess because she had just broken up with her other barbie. i was confused. she explained to me what lesbians were (i knew men could be gay, but not women). immediately after that every single doll i had was a lesbian in a relationship. after figuring that it was probably a bit weird i was so obsessed with making my dolls lesbians, i came to the conclusion i would "probably like girls when i grow up". decided to tell my other, deeply religious cousin about this. she went "WHAT" and i went "HAHA JUST KIDDING IT WAS A JOKE" and never thought about it again

-a year later me and the deeply religious cousin were making ever after high dolls fuck. i was the one that came up w that idea (i also didnt know women could have sex at that point, i thought i had invented lesbian sex) and this haunted me for years bc i thought that that cousin had become homophobic after we grew up. recently found out shes also gay, good for her

-being just Really obsessed with marceline from adventure time for some reason. whenever i saw her on tv my heart would beat really really fast. wonder whats up w that 🤔

-being grounded for like, 5 months when i was 10 because my mom found out i was watching youtube videos from a lesbian couple. and also some videos with sex jokes. i wish i remembered that the lesbians channel was so bad

-i also watched lubatv. hes a brazilian youtuber famous for being openly gay. he introduced me to the concept of shipping, because ppl shipped him with another youtuber, t3ddy. he (plus facebook, and the cool older cousin from before) also introduced me to social activism

-asking permission from my parents to put a rainbow filter on my facebook pfp, in support of gay people. i thought i was such a good straight ally. i dont remember what happened but i think something negative mustve bc a lot of ppl were doing that in 2015. wait fuck now that i think about it that mightve actually been in 2016 because of pulse

- (we are still in 2015 im still 10) watching clips from Steven Universe Season 1 Episode 53 Jailbreak on youtube. they were (badly) subtitled bc i didnt speak english yet. i was absolutely shocked and could not believe they would show two girls kissing in a childrens cartoons, not bc i thought that was bad but bc i was like. would cartoon network really allow this??? i proceed to memorize the entire episode (again i didnt even speak english. and i watched it so many times i memorized it anyways lmao)

-being 11, and having my friend introduce to me this cool new thing she had found online, "fanfics". she linked me a college au fanfic of marceline and bubblegum from adventure time. it had a fade to black implied sex scene. i was hypnotized

-i was a very anxious child and every morning before getting to school i would prepare step-by-step what i would do when entering class. one day my internal monologue went "walk in, say good morning to teacher, kiss [previously mentioned girl best friend] on the mouth, say hello to- wait. where did that come from". start wondering if i was really Just A Really Good Straight Ally

-few days later, me and my friend group were discussing gay people. one of them asked "like i wonder if any of us are gonna be gay?". i thought for about 2.5 seconds and said "i think im bi", being the first one on my class to come out. they were all p chill ab it. i am not bi but its the thought that counts

-cutting off 30 inches of my really long hair and shaving one side at 11. my dad was mad at me for a week and he told me "i dont understand why you did this. you're looking like a dyke". originally i had planned to cut all of it really short "boy style" but the hairstylist insisted on at the very least letting half of it be longer. i did think half shaved hair was Cool so i was fine with that

[aita-blorbos]

wibta for continuing to refuse to tell my dad about my existence for over a year?

so i (24nb) was raised in new york by my mom with my 3 half-siblings, and spent a lot of my early life wondering about my dad (who i’d never met, and my mom didn’t know much about, lol) long story short some shit happened, i got disowned by my mom and still have a relationship with my older half-brother (jury’s still out on my younger half-siblings but i dont expect them to talk to me anytime soon lol) and so i was basically… drifting for several years until i found myself in california and settled down, went to college, and then for… complicated reasons the city i was in basically became an active warzone. my (now) fiancee (27f) saved me and i finished college and started a business as a pi. funnily enough, even though i wasn’t still actively looking for info anymore, i have a pretty distinctive appearance, and based on that and some timeline clues i was able to figure out who my dad is. i was unsure whether to pursue a relationship with that side of my family or whatever bc i already had a pretty established life outside of my family and being on my own has been kinda. a staple of my life since i was 15, but it didn’t matter as much bc he and his sibling were missing, so the only member of that family i had access to was my cousin.

which is where we get to him

so my cousin (27m) grew up thinking he was an orphan in some cult, i think he thought his parents were dead or didnt want him or something? anyways, when he was about 19 he met my dad (now 46m, at the time 38). he didn’t know my dad was his uncle at the time, but evidently my dad figured out who my cousin was pretty quick. my dad then made the decision to continue working with my cousin to fight, uh, some bad people, but did not tell the cousin about them being related. for about 6 years.

eventually my cousin’s parent (46???) resurfaces (they all thought he was dead lol) and a lot of shit happened (including that uh… whole city-being-a-warzone thing i mentioned) and it basically came out that my cousin’s parent was, well, my cousin’s parent. and then immediately after both his parent and my dad disappeared on an… extended business trip and went missing. three years later, my fiancee is dying of cancer, and decides to go on a trip to look for some experimental treatments to get rid of the cancer. after a few months of her gone, my dad and his sibling return, and two months after that, my fiancee returns (apparently she found them and got them brought back?)

a week before this, a friend of my fiancee’s (23f) went missing, and i started a search for her, but i realized there was a lot more going on than i bargained for, so after my fiancee went back, we made the decision to seek outside help. this help happened to come in the form of my dad, and his company. so basically i had to talk to my dad whether i was ready to or not, and since i definitely wasn’t, i made the decision to keep certain things from him. like the fact that he’s my dad.

so we’ve been working together for a while (we found the friend, he just also enlists my help as a pi for other cases sometimes) and i just… haven’t told him yet. here’s the fun part.

so my dad has a habit of picking on his twin for not knowing he had a kid for 25 years. my dad thinks this is hilarious, his twin and my cousin, less so. i happen to turn 25 in a few months, so i thought it’d be hilarious to wait until i’m at least 25 to drop this on him. my cousin doesn’t know, but he’d think it’s HILARIOUS, but my fiancee thinks i should tell him bc from what we’ve gathered it sounds like he’s had a good bit of tragedy surrounding his family, and my fiancee knows what thats like. one of my dads coworkers who pieced things together thinks its funny, but agrees that i should probably tell him sooner rather than later. wibta for waiting, if only for the sake of being able to turn his own joke on him and make fun of *him* for also not knowing he had a kid for 25 years, and definitely not because i’m irrationally mad at him for not knowing i exist for that long?

the reason he doesn’t know who i am already is because i make it a point to hide the distinctive features that are pretty inherent to his side of the family, not because i’m trying that hard to hide who i am from him, but because i have certain people who i don’t want to be able to identify me.

also, i realize i may have made it sound like my dad is a cop or a vigilante. he’s not a cop, i’d want nothing to do with him if he was, and vigilante isn’t exactly accurate either. mercenary might be a better term here.

[br1ghtestlight]

I know I've asked about the fischoders before

But have I asked about an in-depth dive about the fischoders' family tree and dynamic?

Also bestie how you've been? This is a check up >:D

omg we don't know that much about the fischoeder family in general so it would be hard to build a family tree BUT i could figure out some basic stuff :D going w/ the season fourteen timeline

calvin fischoeder was born on june 17th 1951 and his parents were probably already married and living togethet etc. very planned. weren't huge on having kids but it was expected of them and fischoeder papa needed somebody to pass his family business down onto so there calvin was!!! VERY spoiled early years as the only child of rich parents and mostly looked after by their mother. his father was usually away and busy with business BUT one the rare occasion he spent time with calvin he was very excited and idolized his papa Who gave him nothing in return. never even said he loved calvin bcuz men just weren't socialized to do those things. when calvin was a bit older he started spending more time with him to teach him how to run the business etc

felix was born february 5th 1956 and unlike his brother he was completely and totally an accident that his parents only kept because abortion wasn't very accessible at that point. calvin was VERY EXCITED to have a younger brother but lost interest pretty quickly when he realized that felix wasn't big enough to play with him while their parents were busy. when felix was like two or three they started being watched by a nanny more often than not while their mom was busy doing neglectful rich mom things. she tried to spoil felix a little bit w/ attention bcuz she knew he would never get any from his father but it still wasn't great for him always feeling inferior to calvin. they had their basic needs met by their nanny and housekeeps but as sensitive kids with no friends their own age and nothing to do all day (they were homeschooled until they were old enough to go to boarding school at like 11 or 12 idk) calvin took more of an older brother leader role and was parentified which did lasting damage to their relationship as siblings probably forever. despite this the love was there between them & they did have fun memories and play together even if they sometimes got into trouble and/or felix accidentally stabbed out calvin's eye

felix was definitely close with their mom but i think calvin was too. they both realized pretty early on that they weren't going to get any attention or love from their father (who talked down to calvin and mostly ignored felix's existence as if he was a shameful family secret) so they both became desperate for their mother's approval and while she tried she didnt really..... get along with kids very well she mostly found them smelly and annoying. very strict about good manners and growing up to be good little businessmen

as they grew up they were left alone MORE often without nannies or anything and eventually shipped off to boarding school. calvin obviously went to school before felix which led to more time for him to bond w/ their mom during her last years of life. she died when felix was maybe around 15 of an old-timey polio type illness and while they didnt take it GREAT (neither did papa fischoeder) they weren't really allowed to grieve either and kept going with their lives

they didn't spend time with other kids their own age because of being homeschooled (apart from maybe if they visited their dad at the wharf occasionally) but they did spend time with their cousins and extended family. their mom's side was much poorer so they rarely saw that side lest they be negatively influenced but papa fischoeder had a lot of siblings so they had lots and lots of cousins to play with. grover was younger than them by about 10-15 years so they didn't really play together very often but he came to visit sometimes with his older siblings and cousins and all the parents would have a visit together while the kids played in the garden :) fun times

[electrificata]

having music critic thots abt the weeknd im so so sorry

i saw the weeknd in concert last summer, it was amazing. i really dont like stadium shows usually, but his was killer, he had a cool stage concept (gently mad max-ish cult leader and his dancer-disciples, giant inflatable moon) and he's got the presence to fill up all that space. and ive been listening to him for almost a decade, obviously the music's there. actually the show i was at was where he debuted the trailer for the idol. its out now and i havent watched yet. i thought it looked cool then, but after everything ive heard.....im just really ambivalent.

in the early days, when he was keeping mysterious, no press, no photos, you didnt even know if the weeknd was a band or a guy. just this chilly, atmospheric, sleazy/sexy horror-movie r&b. nothing supernatural. but cruel. the lyrics were all about the worst kind of fuckboy shit, and obviously drugs, and the music really seemed to give proper weight to it. the speaker in the songs was awful, the music was telling you that his actions were violent and terrifying for the women he's hurting and for toxic for himself. if youre a person attracted to men, you know what its like to see how awful a guy can be and still be into him, maybe even BECAUSE of how awful he is. thats a fucking horror movie. those first xo eps are crazy, i still listen to them.

then he goes pop star. i remember the collab w/ ariana grande in 2014 was surprising but it found a perfect, plausible midpoint between their two universes. then he goes full max martin in 2015 with "can't feel my face" and again, bizarre to see this plausible way for the prince of darkness to get to the top 40 via a neo-michael jackson jam with a veiled drug reference as opposed to multiple explicit ones. but it made sense! he danced onstage now! i remember hearing it on the radio when i was picking my cousins up from middle school, that felt surreal.

and he just kept on doing the popstar thing. i dont think the sleaze ever really left, it just receded into the background. killer atmosphere, more pop hooks, a general darkness that felt credible coming from him because of the early stuff, its just lit with neon now. he gets increasingly more conceptual, which i love. i love a concept album. its still about fucked up relationships and now death more generally instead of drugs specifically. cool, great. i've been with him the entire time. that brings us up more-or-less to the present.

im not gonna recap all the shit around the idol, if you want it im sure theres an article or youtube video thatll do a better job than i can. ill just summarize my own thoughts: it feels like the sleaze is back, maybe some of the horror, but also Glamour. johnny depp's supermodel daughter has cum on her face. we're seeing headlines about how gross the sex scenes are. look how Glamorous this is. classic showbiz trick of using a cautionary tale about gross men preying on women to just....create images and narratives about gross men preying on women. this might be the place i cant follow him. i cant rule out watching it, i am a habitual hater and i might be in the mood to hate soon. but its making me think about the way we use glamour and beauty in entertainment. it cant be a default, it has an effect on the story.

[maerinhearts]

I need a safe space to talk about something in my life.

TW: Death

In February 2015, my paternal grandmother passed away. A lot of my family assumed my grandfather would follow soon after, but he didn't. I was at college in Pennsylvania when it happened, and my older sister, along with my grandfather, got in the car the very next morning to come pick me up for the funeral. I was very close with my grandmother so that was really hard on me.

In May of 2015, on my 20th birthday, I went to visit my grandfather as I had just gotten home from college and wanted to spend time with him. My grandma always kept track of the birthdays for grandpa, so I didn't expect to get a "Happy Birthday" or anything like that. However, he told me on that day that if shooting himself in the head wasn't a one-way ticket to Hell, he would do it. But he can't, because my grandma is in Heaven and he wants to be with her.

I'm sure you can guess how much that hurt.

I distanced myself pretty far after that without really realizing it. Plus, I have an older brother that I have not spoken to since late 2015 for certain reasons and they always took his side, even though he was in the wrong. That's a story for another day though. I always felt ostracized and like I didn't matter much to that side of my family so I distanced myself even more.

In February of 2019, my paternal aunt revealed that she had Metastatic Breast Cancer, stage 4. It had spread to her lymph nodes, her joints and her lungs. We weren't sure how long she had, but I vowed to spend as much time as I could with her. Then COVID happened. She loved camping. So the summer of 2020, when things started opening back up, I started going camping again so that I could see her. And in October of 2020, she passed away when the cancer spread to her brain. Her death was hard for me, I was very close to her as a child.

In May of 2021, my older sister and i received a phone call that my father was dying. He had Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and had been in a nursing home for 10 years. The nursing home stopped caring for him and he was starving by the time he got to the hospital. He could barely talk anymore, and he was a choke risk. The doctor gave us two choices that my sister and I had to make as his next of kin: permanent feeding tube surgery that he had a 5% chance of surviving or moving him into hospice and letting him die peacefully. We chose hospice. I won't go into full detail about the whole thing as his death was very traumatic for me, but he passed in June of 2021.

My grandfather has disowned me god knows how many times for not talking to him while grieving. And I can't imagine how it must have felt to lose your wife and all your children. But we were grieving too. He said some hateful things to me over the years. But even then, when he got rushed to the hospital on the evening of January 14th, I was worried. And I rushed to the hospital on the 15th to see him. His kidneys were failing and he was actively starving due to a mass partially obstructing his esophagus. He had stopped eating completely because he started choking. But he didn't tell any of us. He was rushed to the ER because my baby cousin found him collapsed on the floor. He got out of the hospital later that week and into a nursing home for physical therapy. But he just kept getting worse and worse....

We rushed him to the ER last Tuesday morning, January 31st. We needed him to have emergency feeding tube surgery. Only to find out that he didn't have long left. It was rough... we didn't get moved to a room in the hospital until 4 AM on the 1st. My sister and I didnt get any sleep that night. And we moved him into Hospice at 3 PM later that day... where we spent the next 4 days with him.

He passed at 1:58 AM this morning, February 5th, and I feel fucking lost. So lost. My dad's entire family is gone, and I'm only 27. His last day of consciousness was spent yelling at me about anything because he wasn't sane anymore. I got yelled at about flowers on the floor (there were no flowers) and I got yelled at for not holding his hand.

I'm so exhausted. I'm tired. I'm tired of the people around me dying. I don't want to go plan his funeral tomorrow. I can't say goodbye to the last living link I had to my father. And it didn't help that the situations were similar and they looked the exact same laying unconscious in that bed...

And no one understands how I feel. My sister and two cousins might, but honestly, none of them have the same views on death as I do and none of them understand any of how I have felt for the last 8 years alone. This fucking sucks. I had to driving home at 3:00 this morning after getting all my stuff packed up. I cried the whole way home. I watched him take his last breath and yet it doesn't feel like any of it has happened at all.

I know that people have probably been through something similar, but I just can't help but wonder why me? I'm just fucking tired...

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4/5

Book Blurb: An American girl becomes the British Monarchy’s greatest nightmare in this thrilling new series where royal scandals just got deadlier. As the King of England’s illegitimate daughter, 17-year-old Evan Bright knows a thing or two about keeping secrets. But when she’s forced to spend the summer in London with her father and the royal family, who aren’t exactly thrilled she exists, her identity is mysteriously revealed, and suddenly the world is dying to know every juicy lie the press prints about her. After a fun night turns deadly and Evan becomes the primary suspect in a murder investigation, the escalating rumors and fallout threaten to tear her life apart. As she fights to uncover the truth about what happened, she discovers royal secrets that are even more scandalous than she imagined – secrets that could change the monarchy forever. And her own may be next.

Review:

An American girl who just happens to be the illegitimate daughter of the King of England finds herself being forced to move to England to spend time with her estranged father and a family who didn’t know she existed after her latest blunder in school. 17 year old Evangeline “Evan” Bright doesn’t want anything to do with her father, the only thing she cares about is her mother. She loathes her dad for what he did to her mom and for abandoning them. So the last thing she wants is to spend time with a father who couldn’t be bothered to know her or be in her life. Yet here she is being sent to live with him after an incident in school and now she has to spend time with her step siblings who dislike her, a very cute boy, and family she’s never met. After a fun night out that turns deadly and ends up with Evan being drugged and nearly sexually assaulted, said boy who tried to film it and commit the act is found dead and all the fingers are pointing to Evan.... yet she knows she didn’t do it and that someone else is out to get her and destroy her. She’ll have to figure out what actually happened that night and who killed him as well as how she save herself and her mother from the news critics. Evan will also discover the true story behind her parents and who her father truly is and why his relationship to her has been distant. Family secrets will be revealed, betrayals, friendship, and a possible romance all come together in this mystery. This was a fun first book in the series and I can’t wait to see where Evan goes next and what royal mystery she’ll solve. i enjoyed Evan’s relationship with her family growing and I liked the romance, it was sweet and light and didn’t take away from the main mystery plot. The main mystery was interesting and I had a fun time reading this!

*Spoiler: her Ben cousin hired someone he went to school with to assault Evan and film it. Evan, despite being drugged, escaped and managed to get to safety with the help of Kit and her step sister Maisie. Evan discovers that her father Alexander has always loved her mother and that it was her mother who ended the relationship and wanted him to rule without being held back by her. Her mother suffers from mental illness and paranoia, but has gotten better. Evan discovers that Alex cheated on his wife Helene with her mother and that he has never stopped loving her. Alex in the end separates from Helene ( Helene was also cheating on him) and gets back together with Evan’s mother. Evan and Kit had gotten together, broken up when she thought he leaked her mother’s information to the media, and then gotten back together when she realizes he didnt. He was willing to take the fall for her and say that he murdered the guy who assaulted her when in fact he did not. Evan also did not murder him, Ben had set her up and Maisie had pushed him in an effort to protect Evan. Maisie and Evan become closer by the end of the book and Evan goes back to live in England and become part of the royal family*

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Children's, Delacorte Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[oroborosdreadwalker]

Ahh yes, fallouts equivalent of the hit song boulevard of broken dreams, the lonesome road, filled with the blue men groups evil cousins the red men group or the marked men, basically reskinned non-feral ghoul enemies, the tunnelers of whom i loath because i swear their hitbox doesnt work half the time and unless they are hitting you in which your hotbox grows 70 sizes and theirs yet again shrinks. 95% chance to hit at medium range with a brushgun with 4 shots thing didnt even fucking move the entire time EVERY FUCKING SHOT MISSED ONE EVEN KILL CAMMED AND SHOWN THE BULLET PULLING A FUCKING XCOM AND JUST GOING THROUGH ITS HEAD AND NOT DOING ANYTHING, and death claws, walk the lonesome road with E-DE but not our E-DE a diffrent one with the same names and memories as his mojave counterpart due to what i have to say is an robo hivemind for the eyebots, grab a personal nuke detonator, and start making oppenhimer even more depressed then he was, while making old Kimmy-Un climax with how much he wants to do that, have E-De taken frim you by some dude named after historical figure Ulyesses S Grant, but just going by Ulyesses telling you "gonna be real cheif this was your fault, your last package contained a fucking supernuke and this place got thanks snapped my G, so yeah your fault fuck you dont care you weren't told what you had, and was told not to look, i could give less of a shit, i could kill you now but I want to tell you how much of a horrible person you are for causing this even though you had no way of knowing, face to face, so imma just steal your robot ok fuck you bye, oh one more thing did i tell you ever though you didnt know what you where delivering because even if you looked in the pakage you wouldn't of found it, that you are 100% the only one to blame for this, not the person who knew what it was and willingly set it off because they ordered it so knew what to do with it? Nah he is completely innocent, i see no reason to blame him, oh by the wayndid you know i mostly work for the legion but dont share the philosophies? Ok cool, you suck, see you soon" explode more nukes, get called an asshole by uylesses a few more times and then confront the man of the hour after getting your robodude back, now two ways this goes down you fight him, his healing eyebots and the marked men at the same time, or you talk him down and fight the marked men together, you then either disarm the nuke, or nuke the legion, NCR or both, lonesome road over. Gonna be real the only thing i like about this DLC is Uylesses and E-DE everything else sucks dick, and is glitchy is fuck to the point i actually cant kill certain creatures due to there hitbox not existing simetimes I swear to Atom. Anyways DLCs done, might do Fo4 next or find a new game to rave over while i take a break from Elden Ring so i dont burn myself out on the game.