#found this in the drafts and i hope my bestie sees this

[smutinlove]

Hello! I hope you are doing well.

I just read the rules for requests post and I wonder if I can send one. Hopefully, this is alright... Would you mind if the reader was non-binary? Not sure I can ask that so I'll leave it to you.

I kinda really wanted to read Jason and reader being best friends, and reader and Jason going to an amusement park with other friends. Whether friends and bestie/reader know about Jason's identity as Red Hood is up to you.

Reader wants to go to the haunted house attraction, but since they're easily frightened, they always avoid going on one. But they really want to have the experience someday, because even though it's scary, other people seem to have fun.

Maybe Jason sees that and decides to drag Reader and their friends inside, and they all have a grand time, because Jason is scarier than the actors. 😆

—hope i did this right!

•non-binary reader. (i really hope i did this right otherwise im cooked)

•no use of y/n, she/her, he/him for the reader (if there is let me know!!!)

•i've never been to an amusement park so idk if i got any of the amusement park shit right

The scars on his face and arms had slowly started to fade, but they were still there. It showcased what Jason Todd, your best friend had, been through.

He had died and then was reborn, shocking you especially. And later on, you found out about his identity as Red Hood. But that didn't matter. Today is supposed to be a fun day full of adventure and excitement.

The sun hit Jason's face, causing him to blink rapidly. "Idiot," you muttered. He rolled his eyes playfully. "Whatever," he said, digging into your bag of popcorn while your friends laughed.

You and the others continued to stroll around the amusement park. As you and your friends went deeper into the park, you noticed a giant medieval-themed haunted house with a sign that read, "FREE FOR TWO HOURS!"

You wanted to go. But it looked terrifying. There was a man dressed up as Dracula taking pictures with tourists outside the haunted house. He looked terrifying.

You gulped as you tried to lead Jason and your friends away from it. But then Jason uttered the most jaw-dropping words ever. "Hey, there's a haunted house! Let's go," Jason said. He grabbed your hand and led you and the others right to it.

Jason opened the door and motioned for you and your friends to go. "Scared, Todd?" you challenged. "We'll see." He winked and went in after you.

The interior of the haunted house was scarier than the exterior. There were cobwebs everywhere. It was dark, and there was only one way. Straight.

There was a curtain. Jason, being the brave soul he was, slid the curtain. Someone dressed up as a skeleton jumped up and screamed in Jason's face.

Jason stared at the "skeleton," totally confused, before chuckling. "Funny," he said. The "skeleton" gulped. Jason pushed past the skeleton, venturing further into the haunted house. You and the rest of your friends followed behind him; some were already terrified but also trying not to laugh.

As you, Jason, and the others ventured further, the walls became more closed in, making you feel trapped. You heard a creak and gasped. The lights started flickering. Jason laughed.

"A little trick. I bet a fake spider or a vampire will pop out any second now!" Jason declared, running a hand through his hair. You and the others murmured "okays" and "whatevers."

And sure enough, when Jason turned a corner, you heard a scream and rushed in front. Jason stood there, laughing as the man dressed as a zombie fumbled to get up, and he looked terrified of Jason. Soon, you and the others burst into fits of laughter.

───── ❝ authors note ❞ ─────

yayy

it's not my best work

it's been sitting in my drafts for a week or something but oh well

anyway it's pretty obvious that i've never been to a haunted house or an amusement park... #poor

[bitchlessdino]

hey, i’m back. recently i’ve been in my chanrot era so if you could please write a daddy kink chan smut i would really appreciate it. also thank you for the he mingyu smut, i was freaking out inside.-🎧

Pairing: bf!chan x afab!reader

Genre: smut, light fluff

Word count: 2.1k

tags: initial reluctance (lighthearted), blossoming established relationship, daddy kink (initially just Chan), slight degradation, reader has tits, mentions of voice kink, asphyxiation, wall sex, pussy slapping, unprotected sex, creampies, cumplay

Summary: You've heard of dadless behaior but what is daddy behavior? You found it unlikely that the answer would be right under your nose. Better yet, already balls deep inside you.

author note: hiii, I'm back. and what a way to be back than to finish up a dino request. SK was amazing, everything was new and exciting. I'd be happy to answer any travel questions or if you wanna just pop in my inbox, I’ll graciously respond. I missed you guys <3

P.s. to 🎧 bestie I’m so glad you enjoy Mingyu’s fic and I hope you enjoy this one too!

He had you by your throat, cock plunged balls deep in your cunt, slamming into your cervix with every calculated thrust. A pool of arousal soaked into your bed sheets as your shallow breaths barely escaped. His upper body weight pins you stomach down on the mattress and his gaze falls on you, emitting unadulterated power. Lost in the world he’s created, he feels you shudder beneath him while you desperately call out to him in your beautifully strained voice.

A smug smile hangs low from his lips. “That’s right. What’s my name?”

“Daddy?”

You sputter, coughing on your own loud laughter as your boyfriend stares back at you with an unamused face in part to your reaction. This was how you initially reacted to the request of his suggested name in bed, pale in comparison to the idea of a reaction Chan had in mind when he thought to bring it up to you. He could only huff in annoyance as you doubled over on your stomach in playground laughter.

“Come on. It’s not funny. Just say you’ll try it out with me.” He whines.

“You think begging is daddy behavior?” The teasing persists with tears in your eyes.

He sighs in relinquishment before pulling himself up from the bed, his bare torso feeling the draft of the conditioned air as his eyes glaze over in the direction of the shared bathroom. “Forget it.”

“Wait, Chan.” You stretch out your arm to claim his wrist in your grip. Your laughter falters seeing the genuine disappointment in his eyes, forcing you to render yourself to a calmer manner, aiming to uplift his spirits, “Come on. I’m just playing. Don’t be upset.”

He scoffs, “The love of my life is laughing at me, in my face, how am I supposed to take it?”

“I’m not laughing at you,” you pull him back onto the bed, “Just…daddy? Really?”

“Yes, really. It wouldn’t hurt to try once.” He says in an utterly soft tone, and you feel your hard shell melt all at once.

Chan is many things. A good friend, a doting boyfriend, and an amazing lover (at least from what you could tell since you only started to have sex recently). ‘Daddy‘ was…different from what you were used to, and frankly just seemed uncharacteristic for Chan.

“Aw, love,” you run your hand through his hair, those pretty eyes looking back at you in a brew of longing and lust, “You’re so sweet and sexy as is. It’s…overdone. Why would you want to be called something like that anyway?”

“I’m curious. I mean…your voice is so pretty I wanna hear how you say it.” He whispers, and that alone causes whatever is in your stomach to do flips.

You roll your eyes in defeat, a love-struck grin on your face, and tug his arm to have it buried between your exposed breasts, their warmth causing a flutter in Chan’s chest. You tuck your chin on his shoulder, looking at him wide-eye, batting your lashes at him in keen interest. “Well. If…daddy…could tell me what this entails, I may just be a bit more interested.”

He digs his teeth in his bottom lips, pleased, and takes a hand to the side of your jaw to trace over it. His soft baritone voice drops an octave and his eyes narrow at you, “It can be whatever my baby desires.”

Your eyes glint from the reflection of the sun peaking through the bedroom window and bouncing off the vanity mirror. The corner of your lips turns up in a small smile, “How would me calling you daddy make things anymore different from what we already have?”

His hand smooths over from your cheek to trail over your shoulder and settles on your hips beneath the sheets. He presses his smile against your forehead, ghosting over your skin to do the same to the tip of your nose, just as delicately, and finally tucking them in the pillowy texture of your lips. You purse your lips to deepen the kiss, but he kisses you just as swiftly as he pulls away. He watches you through his heavy eyelids, seeing how your lips twitch at the loss of his presence, silently laughing to himself.

“Cute.”

How quickly he takes you by surprise by slamming back in the sheets, your eyes shooting back open immediately, heart pounding out of your chest. His hips gradually dip into yours, the outline of his bulge imprinting into your thigh, and you feel one of his hands creep down to the thin fabric of your underwear. A corner of his lips perks up feeling your anticipation soak through and create a thin film between the pads of his fingers.

“Wet? So early? I hardly done anything.” He snickers.

You let out a small whine, hand cupped over his cheek, thumbing its texture, “Can’t help it…daddy.”

He rubs into the fabric, tracing along your slit repeatedly until both his middle and index were evenly coated, your hips shifting beneath him, helplessly under his control. He hears how your breathing got more irregular.  A shift of focus is obvious within you and you could only do one thing at a time; breathe or enjoy the show. Lucky for you, he’d make it an easy choice.

“Well,” he draws his face close to hover over your ear, smiling wide as he says, “too bad you don’t get to cum.”

He pulls his hands away from your body, sticking his fingers in his mouth and retreating to the bathroom giggling. You sit up from the bed in disbelief, throwing the covers back on your body, “Chan! Really?”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have laughed.”

Chan would be proud to know that you were eating your words. He was all you could think about for the rest of the day. His eyes and their allure, then his arms and their strength. You craved his attention, crossing one leg over the other, suppressing your innermost desires of him feasting on you like thanksgiving dinner. The hours of the day would drone on, and you were counting the second of every minute until you’d finally be reunited back home after a long day’s work. 

You needed it, especially from that morning, which would only replay countless times in your mind. Heat running to the apples of your cheeks remembering his musk, you felt a teenager again thinking about their crush as they passed the hallways. It seems as though he was no better as his hands were immediately on you the moment you greet him. Your hips parallel to one another, your wrists pinned above your head against a wall, and his heavy breath ghosting over your jaw. The scene brought a familiar shiver down your back, like a return of an old friend.

“Well, don’t you look pretty?”

The shape of his cock knocks at the surface of your core, gripping your wrists single-handedly, and drawing shapes on your skin with his lips, feeling you swallow from the base of your neck.

“Daddy, please…”

“What,” he taunts, tightening his grip, “what does my baby want?”

You gulp, “Fuck, daddy. I want you so much.”

You spoke from the pit of your stomach, clenching your abdomen as he presses up against you closer, already unbuttoning the top of your slacks. 

“What a dirty mouth you have.”

He abrasively tugs them off you, hands slipping underneath your underwear and feel proof of your words. “Fuck, you weren’t kidding.”

The obscenities that’d leave your lips the moment you felt his middle finger dip inside your warmth made Chan prideful. His eyes bore into yours while his fingers worked inside you, slightly lifting you off the ground.

“God, I could fuck you here and you’d be happy about it, wouldn’t you?”

He pours every ounce into his hands, your body uncontrollably sliding erratically over the wall, “Mmh, daddy, yes.”

“Such a good slut. All for me.”

He fucks into faster, the spillage falling to even down his forearm, you achingly gorgeous sounds of pleasure playing surround sound in his ears. He muffles them against his lips, hiking up your legs to embrace him as you leverage against the wall behind you, thrusting his still-clothed lower body into you. God, he wants to fuck you like a used-up rag doll.

“Fuck, daddy…you fingers…”

He slowly their pace, pumping them at controlled force in every interval. His sweat-damp hair reached his eyes, meeting your dumb-fucked gaze, “Yeah, yeah, they good?”

You choke on a breath as you feel him thrust inside deeper, “F-fuck, yes…”

You vibrated around him and he knew he couldn’t take it anymore. He holds you to the wall with his upper body but soon bares his lower body. His length teases your slit before his fingers flick at your pussy so suddenly, causing you to wince with a soft moan to follow.

“You think you can take me up against this wall, like a good little slut? Hmm?” He slaps them again. 

“Mm, daddy, please. I want it…I want your cock in me…”

A smug grin takes over before he watches it swallow inside you, pushing his filthy fingers in your mouth, defiling you in both his favorite ends. He drags his mouth over your nipples, hard to the touch, and readily available after your top was the first thing you undressed for him before he put you in such a situation. Squeezing them in a free hand, he mouths over it starved, flicking his tongue and sucking as if he was raging with thirst. 

His hands were now knuckle-deep in your mouth, hips lacking in remorse, and your gasping for breath would otherwise be concerning, but in this case, indicated the ravenous sin that took over your body, coating your tongue with your taste. He takes out his hand to wrap them around your throat, watching the sanity leave your body as he fucks you until pure submission. You were more object than human at this point. Yet, you felt so alive.

Your body was not used to something like this. You felt flushed at the touch, ecstasy mainlining in your veins, screaming a name you wouldn’t even say in your dreams, now rolling off your tongue like water flowing through a river. “Daddy, daddy, daddy—”

“I’m right here baby…You’re taking me so fucking well,” he groans.

“Daddy, more, daddy…”

“More? More?” He teases.

“Please daddy.” You spoke from the depth of your throat, feeling him return with more speed, knocking your ass back into the wall.

A manic smile spreads across your face and you gasp out in excitement, clutching around him until you could feel your eyes roll in the back of your head. “Yes, fill me, daddy. I want my pussy full of your cum.”

“You know just what to ask for, hmm? You want daddy’s load inside you?”

“Yes, daddy’s cum, please…”

Chan was growing tired but not of you, never of you. “You think you’ve been good enough for me to deserve it?”

You nod rapidly, “I’ve been so, so, so, so good. I want it. I deserve it.”

“Okay, well you better hold on tight. I have no plans to give you mercy.”

He takes either one of your legs to his side and you oblige, holding on to him as he delivers his promise. Your head knocks back into the wall rhythmically with no delay. His lips plant against yours naturally, harshly claiming your kiss and chewing on your bottom lip to sustain his momentum. Your hands ran through his hair, over his back, clawing at his ass; your orgasm wasn’t far along your path.

Your hips jerk against him, clenching his full length in your walls, vibrating to the kiss, unknowingly dripping so far past his thigh until practically reached his knees. He follows soon after. Thick warmth paints your insides one coat, a second coat, and then a third, but does not stop the man from pushing it deeper back into you, spilling into the floor without a second thought.

He ruts into you until you’re spent, which seems like it’ll never be the case at that point, and even carries you to the bedroom to use you again and again. Chest to sheet, your head being held up by his hand on squeezing the base of your neck, and your ass in the air fitted against his cock and torso. You could practically hear the echo of skin slapping and human suction bouncing off your walls. His stamina felt endless and you loved every restless second. As did Chan, realizing your answer to his questions and demands was a joy like no other.

“Ask again. Do you find this to be daddy behavior?”

“Yes, daddy.”

[carmsgarms]

just wanna hug you for the jkr post bc my former friends made me feel insane for not validating their continued engagement 💜

Bestie listen youve unzipped me and im about to go off. Harry Potter was my entire life until she literally couldn't shut the fuck up about trans women being perverts and infiltrators. I was a lonely neurodivergent weirdo and Harry Potter brought me solace as a kid. I read each of the books at least 7 or 8 times, that shit is INGRAINED in my brain. One of my best friends of 10+ years is my friend today because the first thing we bonded over was seeing the last HP movie. I used to be deadset on my 2nd tattoo being my pottermore wand with my hogwarts house. I wanted a fucking HP-themed wedding. The first funko pops I bought were Harry Potter ones. My first serious boyfriend told me he wanted to propose to me in front of Hogwarts castle (this was something he said to guilt trip me when i dumped his ass) ((also thank the gods that never happened he was a shithead and so is jkr)). My mom for some godforsaken reason let me help her name my youngest brother when he was born because she couldn't think of a name and my 10yo ass fuckikg picked DANIEL because of Daniel Radcliffe. I was in DEEP.

And you know what? Aside from the books I camped out to buy on release day and the DVDs that are crammed in a box somewhere in a storage unit, I have gotten rid of every single Harry potter thing I owned because I grew the fuck up and found better things to like. Sure I'll watch the DVDs again every few years to feel the nostalgia again because a good chunk of the cast are great people (we fucking stan Dan Radcliffe and David Tennant in this house ) but I'm not giving jkr another cent of my money or an inkling of my time beyond that.

You are so valid and you are allowed to be upset if your friends continue to engage with Harry potter content.

Anyone who days "uwu my nostalgia" ask them if they still sleep with their fucking baby blanket too.

My former boss wouldn't shut the fuck up about the new video game when it came out. At least once a week he'd ask me if I'd played it yet and every single time I would tell him "I'm not engaging with that franchise anymore. JKR uses money to fund anti-trans legislation." And he'd always spout some bullshit about nostalgia or "but it's SO good" or "yeah I just try to separate the art from the artist / oh but the devs who worked hard on the game! / but playing the game doesn't actually support her! (yes the fuck it does if the game does well it boosts her platform)"

And especially now that my wife has come out, I'm extra ready to fight the next grown person who tells me they ~separate the art from the artist~ like fuck off. There are better things to spend your time and energy on. I hope everything JKR makes flops hard. Everything shes done since the last movie has been a disgusting cash-grab and none of it is even good. I'm beyond thrilled that BG3 has had a wild runaway success and a longer-lasting player base than the fucking game she put out. Nothing has ever disappointed me more than JKR being the way that she is.

Oh but the lore and world building? The ability to make your own character in such a fun and magical immersion world?bDnd has better lore than Harry potter ever did and the lore adds up and makes sense. If you look at her shit beyond the surface level she is actually fucking TERRIBLE at world building especially when she tries to do it without being a fucking racist ((does anyone remember when early drafts for the American magic schools that were using Native American imagery and it was all REALLY FUCKING OFFENSIVe and let's also not forget "no-maj" being the least fucking creative thing she ever came up with)

"But my hogwarts house" PLEASE choose a better Personality.

I have more nostalgia for Avatar the Last Airbender these days since i got into that when it first started airing when i was 12 (and look if you're really into the fuckin houses as your Personality you can get that with ATLA! Water tribe forever bitches)

"But the characters!!!" Please. There are better characters ALL AROUND YOU. pick up a fucking comic book. Yknow Superman actually has a similar structure, he's got the nerdy Normal friend and the love interest and it's a goddamn shame none of the movies include his bestie Jimmy because he's just as important as Lois Lane is.

"But all the strong female characters!" It is 2024 please I beg you to find other female role models (I will again point to Avatar the Last Airbender and Literally Any Comic Book Featuring A Woman. Captain Marvel is actually really good. Battlestar Galactica is also chock full of strong female characters and that came out in the early 2000s!)

Bestie i genuinely feel bad for all the fucking white people who can ignore all the bullshit JKR has done and said and all those sad saltine cracker flavor type people whose entire personalities are Watching The Office and Enjoying Harry Potter And Star Wars. Grow up. Move On.

If it's that important to you (and i mean the general you here not you specifically), please do what I did and Marie Kondo that part of your life. You don't need to hold onto the safety blankie you had as a child. You don't have to hold onto the pair of shoes that got you through high school and are out of fashion and falling apart. You give it a sendoff. Say "thanks for getting me through that part of my life but I'm moving on" and you move the fuck on.

I did something really sappy for my 30th birthday - I said goodbye to the franchise. I mourned what could have been. I went to Universal studios ((also bc Simpsons land and fast and furious ride and ET and a bunch of other stuff are there)) but I stopped into Harry potter world to do everything once and say goodbye to that part of my life since it was something I had wanted to do for most of my youth, and my friend who i became friends with because of harry potter was there with me. We drank the fucking pumpkin juice, had breakfast at the three broomsticks, appreciated all the little easter eggs around hp world, rode the hagrid ride, and ate a chocolate frog I wore my trans rights shirt and dressed gay as hell, my friend is trans so he just ~existed blissfully~ . I think every Harry potter fan needs to acknowledge that the franchise was good for them in the 90s, mourn that part of their life, and move on.

Bonus: me being Gay as Fuck in front of the castle. I hope JKR fucking rots and fades into obscurity and people come to realize she's worse than HP Lovecraft.

[writers-reach]

Hii! Just found this blog and i really enjoy your writing. Just wanted to say that it would be nice if you had a sort of drafts/wip list where it says what requests you have accepted and what youre working on. Just a suggestion. Also since you did general hcs for minato it would be nice if you did them for minako too. Thanks and have a great day!

persona 3: general fluff headcanons (minako arisato)

notes: gn!reader, fluff, headcanons

minako is very energetic! always wanting to try new things and visit new shops and dragging you along (this girl has so much energy and a hollow leg... you're lucky she doesn't run your wallet empty. she's too nice to do that)

sometimes these bursts of energy are interspersed with days where she's just exhausted and depressed. these days she will wordlessly come up to you and open her arms for a hug.

will bring you along to go shopping with her and ends up sneakily buying you a plushie or snacks, presenting them to you before y'all leave and go home :)

i think she'd be the kind of person to want to like... dress similarly? like yk. couples clothes.

sharing headphones! listens to your music, but also shares her taste (she strikes me as someone who would listen to that hybrid genre of death metal and jpop. like babymetal. i think the genre is called kawaii metal?? idk)

being partners with minako means being besties with junpei, i don't make the rules. silly goose squad rise up!!!

oscillates between being confident in the relationship and silly and awkward. giggles at little pecks on the cheek.

she's so cute i love her so muchhhh bring my girl back atlus

a/n: hope you like this!! and tysm for the suggestion on doing a list of drafts. it really helps both you, the audience, to see what i'm workin on and for me to not feel overwhelmed with requests!!

[cowboy]

journal #2

Good eve. :)

I've been in a strange way these past few days. I don't even know where to start seeing as this is seen by strangers who know nothing about my life, not even the mundane or simple things. but I'll just go into it.

This feeling I've been having of feeling like a tiger pacing in a cage has existed for years now and it flares up every once in a while. what does it feel like to let that pressure buildup go? is it possible to let it go? what would cause that pressure to burst and be freed? is this feeling eternally subconscious-to-conscious-to-subconscious-again? as in, i feel like it comes and goes but always exists. does it ever truly, truly leave? what does it mean to feel free, or cageless, anyway?

do y'all even know that feeling i'm talking about? lmao.

i have been going crazy over this crush for way too long and that's definitely adding to my feeling. i feel absolutely tied to a crush when i have one; i become addicted to the sensation of being near them and i forego so many of my desires and needs for them.

i came back home the other day to a messy room for five days in a row and only today could i clean it. i'm actually also realizing i haven't had my meds for a month now and i think that's really adding to this feeling and these actions (or... lack thereof).

anyway, i made a hinge profile this morning and i quickly realized how much i enjoy being found cute! it usually makes me feel really nervous but the separation of an app/ability to just swipe left or whatever made me feel more in control. to be clear, i hate that i enjoy it so much. i feel very vain in that sense -- i suppose it's human, but i'd like to think i don't need/want to be found attractive. oh well. i do i guess. not sure if that's something i should like... fix.

hinge both helped and did not help at all with my crush. i've been able to realize there's attractive funny interesting people out there that my crush tunnel vision was distracting me from, so i feel a lot less tethered to my crush. on the flipside, i realized so quickly that the type of person i am really truly fully attracted to at the moment doesn't exist, because it's just my crush. i just want someone exactly like him because i just like him so much. Lmaoooooooooo.

i'm also feeling stuck on this one art piece i'm making for my now-ex-but-still-bestie -- here's a pic of all the drafts i made of it:

that pic is missing one; four drafts total exist.

here's a close up of the most completed one:

plus my stupid looking goose ass. (my eye is red and irritated rn.)

it says "isn't it funny that we're here and not there?" i liked this concept for a while but now i am sick of it after drawing it three times and i feel like the message is boring to me now. i wanna draw something new, but i haven't properly set aside the time to develop any novel concept that would be appropriate as a gift for my friend.

anyway, i'll try to figure that out. what i'm more interested is -- do you feel like you get anything from this image, emotionally or intellectually? does it interest you at all whatsoever? what do you think the meaning is behind this piece, if any is notable at all? (i like it when people form opinions or theories behind the meanings of my pieces, so anything is valid 100%.)

also, would anyone be interested in purchasing one of these original drafts from me for like $10 or $15? again, i'm seeing if i might dip my toes into selling my art online so any feedback is helpful. hehe.

i'll end here. i have some more to post -- i'll be posting a little sketch comic draft of "notes on having a crush" and maybe people can find those relatable or what have you.

i hope everyone's having an excellent day. i am having a good one myself, despite that strange feeling of being pent-up and unresolved. :)

[mountsmase]

Bestie

Give me something about him taking care of girly with flu. I need it 😂

WAIT I NEVER POSTED THIS? I just found it in my drafts 😭 im sorry bestie

Oh no I hope you’re feeling okay 🥺

The thought of Mason looking after you whilst you’re sick always makes me 🫠

He’d be so so so attentive

He always would be but when you’re sick or not feeling very well he’d just step it up a notch and do literally everything in his power to make sure your comfortable and on the mend asap because he hates seeing you so deflated 🥺

He wouldn’t let you lift a finger, making you meals and bringing them to you in bed/on the sofa, doing all of the jobs that need doing around the house and waiting on you hand and foot, whatever you want he’s got it for you

He’d be running you baths, showering with you and washing your hair for you, making sure you’re still doing all of your skin care because he knows you hate it when you go to bed without doing it and there’d be SO. MANY. CUDDLES.

If he’s not at training or doing something for you he’d be right next to you, arms wrapped around you and cuddling you back to health

and he wouldn’t even care that he might get sick, you’d be pushing him away and he probably wouldn’t be allowed to kiss you but he’d still be there, loving on you in anyway he can

[consularmain]

Alliance Commander Ask Game

THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS. I was tagged a very long time ago by @sullustangin to do this and I completely forgot

1) Who’s your Alliance Commander? What class are they? Alignment? Random other facts you wanna share?

My Jedi Knight is my canonical Commander for my legacy. Her name is Minerva and she’s been through a lot of changes since I started playing her in 2018. She is a Guardian tank with a Shadow secondary class. She’s trapped at Light 5 because of how the old alignment system worked, but I headcanon she’s closer to Light Three. She has one of the most detailed backstories I've ever made for a character and I'm so proud of her :') She's like my child lol

2) What’s a reason or two you like that this character is your Commander? Minerva is not and never wanted to be a leader in any way and I live for that kind of inner conflict. Plus the expansions feel very natural with the Knight as the Commander imo.

3) What’s a reason or two you don’t like about them being Commander? I can’t think of anything other than I wish the writers would let her get some rest. Give me a cutscene where she's just enjoying being with her friends and boyfriend pls

4) Why did this character of all your OCs become Commander? Like I said earlier, it felt natural for Minerva to continue her fight against Vitiate and she was also the first character I got to endgame before Onslaught came out so she's just fixed as the Commander in my mind.

5) Who did they side with? Did they stay loyal or go saboteur? Or maybe you headcanon they defect properly? Minerva decided to side with the Republic, but she kept the Alliance separate and declined the offer to become a member of the Order again. She believes in the Republic but she hasn’t been a Jedi for a long time – even before she was put in the carbonite. And it would be incredibly inappropriate given a new “attachment” in her life. 

6) Are there any NPC’s from the class stories you’d like to see/HC join the Alliance? Ex: Master Timmns, Ardun Kothe, Watcher One, etc. Lord. PRAVEN. In my hc, he was on Ossus during kotfe/kotet and joins the Alliance after Onslaught. He's Minerva's bestie and the writers can't take this away from me.

7) How’s your OC feeling about the current Malgus situation? She's over it, honestly. She is so tired of people coming back from the dead.

8) Are any of your other OC’s part of the Alliance? If yes what do they do for the Alliance? Do they get along with your Commander?

My Chiss trooper, Jame Harper, is Minerva's cousin but they're closer to sisters. Harper had given up hope she was still alive and attacked Zakuul to avenge her. Once she joins the Alliance, Harper is responsible for training new recruits and strategizing for the big battles.

After the incident on Dromund Kaas, Acina sent her Wrath to Odessen to show the Empire’s support. Tegan and Minerva’s old rivalry picked up right where it left off but now that they're on the same side, they actually start to respect each other. They become frenemies but it doesn't last long.

Freya and her Clan join Torian on Odessen and are responsible for keeping the peace between Imperial and Republic personnel. Freya knows Minerva doesn't have much family so she takes on an almost motherly role, fussing over her and making sure she takes care of herself.

My Smuggler, Lyall, is Minerva's eyes and ears in the Outer Rim. He's a friend to the Alliance, not an actual member, but he appreciates what they're trying to do. He and Minerva share a history so it's no big deal for him to help out on the occasional mission.

9) How does your OC feel about Odessen? (Bonus: how do you feel about it) Despite all the craziness around her, Minerva feels at peace on Odessen - something she's not felt in a long time. She loves the wild forests and the endless lakes and rivers. It feels like home. She's never felt that way about anywhere before, not even the Jedi Order. I personally love Odessen. I wish there was a stronghold on Odessen so I could decorate it to Minerva's tastes.

10) How does your Commander feel about being the Commander? To say Minerva has a complicated relationship with it would be an understatement. Some days, it's great. She's doing more for the galaxy than she ever could as a Jedi. But sometimes she realizes just how many lives will be effected by her decisions and she feels trapped. She doesn’t feel anyone should ever have so much power. But she's lucky to have such a strong support system behind her and they make it bearable.

11) Favorite place in the Alliance base? Minerva's favorite is the little pool at the base of the statue in the Force Enclave. She meditates for hours in the sunlight coming in through the crack in the ceiling. As for mine, it has to be the war room. I love seeing my companions just vibing with each other.

12) Favorite mission in KotFE? Definitely visiting the old world on Zakuul with Senya. I wish we got to see more of it or at least get a Zakuulan stronghold but I doubt the story will ever bring us back to Zakuul :(

13) Favorite mission in KotET? The palace mission, just because it's where we get Arcann lmao

14) Least favorite mission in either? Why? The walker missions are brutal. Except for the one on Iokath. That one is so much fun lol

15) Is your Commander successful because they’re skilled? Or are they perhaps just really lucky? Minerva has worked hard to hone her body and mind into a weapon, but she also believes the Force is on her side as long as she listens to it. To her, luck doesn't exist.

16) From our OC’s point of view, SoR -> KotET wasn’t a fun experience, did they develop any fears as a result? A lot of her fears were realized. She was abandoned by the people she trusted and the Jedi Order, the only constant in her life, was practically wiped out. Valkorion was once again in her head and the fear of him taking over at any given moment made her distance herself from the people around her in order to protect them. It was the loneliest period of her life. 

She also has a fear of public speaking so she hates it when she has to give speeches to encourage people.

17) AU time! If your Commander wasn’t Commander, which of your other OCs would have likely taken their place? Harper has a habit of falling into positions of leadership despite her loner attitude. I can see her somehow accidentally becoming Commander in Minerva's place because no one else stepped up.

18) Who’s someone your Commander hopes they never have to deal with again?

19) Does your Commander hold on to/still use any titles they earned before KotET? Minerva's begun to let go of her old life but she doesn't mind being called "Master" or "Battlemaster" by other Jedi. She earned those titles so it's a sign of respect for her.

20) Share something, anything at all, you want about your Commander that you’ve not really gotten the chance to share before but really want to. Minerva loves trashy entertainment. Holovids, shows, books - it doesn't matter, she loves it all. It's antithesis to everything she was used to growing up that she found it so compelling. She's also a sucker for those romance books you see in line at the grocery store.

[xthescarletbitch]

BESTIE I HAD ANOTHER ESPADA IDEA so like it’s late at night and you’re restless and you usually don’t smoke but you see espada outside smoking so she offers you one and lights it with the tip of her own and you’re so close you’re almost touching noses and she lingers in your space even after your cigarette is lit and you two stay huddled together and talk about what’s keeping you up at night and she lets her walls down and is more open with you than with anyone else and you’re kinda worried that when the day comes things will go back to how they were but when she sees you, there’s something different in the way she looks at you and when you go out to see her that night, she shares her smoke with you instead of having you smoke your own and each time you two get more comfortable with each other until she finally kisses you and wiwonroaueowhrpe

bestie, i'm sorry this is so late. i forgot about it in my drafts. i also must apologize in advance because clearly, i am not an experienced writer when it comes to those intimate moments... so i hope i did this idea some justice. <3

hazy midnights || camila "la espada" montero x reader

sfw, but i still prefer no minors (curse words are involved)

cw: reader has insomnia and anxiety, there is smoking involved

word count: 3200+

author's note: so i wrote this with the idea that the reader and camila have already had some sort of mutual pining going on, but it's gotten nowhere until you meet up one night. i also incorporated a lot of spanish to keep with the theme.

no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t seem to disregard the incessant thoughts that circled around in your head. all you wanted to do was sleep, but you couldn’t, and the more you fixated on the amount of sleep you were losing, the worse it got. to make matters even more frustrating, what felt like hours passed of trying to sleep turned out to only be a few minutes. 

you thought you’d see the light of the next day at any moment, but the gloomy darkness in the barracks remained. the only light that peered in was what the stars were giving from the night sky, in addition to the faint lighting of the lights around camp. the setting was made for sleep, but you found none. of course, that wasn’t new to you–insomnia was no stranger in your life, nor were the intrusive thoughts that plagued you. 

laid on your back, you turned your head to the left and caught a glimpse of dani snoozing away on her bed. it was intriguing how she could manage to sleep after all the horrors she’d witnessed and the trauma she’d experienced. you were happy for your friend, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t feel pangs of jealousy and resentment. 

you glanced back up at the ceiling and decided to take out your phone, which was placed underneath your pillow. as soon as it was raised into your view, the time flashed across the screen: 1:15. 

“mierda,” you cursed under your breath. “it’s going to be a long night.”

you decided to turn on your right side, which gave you a clear view out the window. in the distance, over by a tree, you saw a spark of light appear and then diminish. it could’ve been something as simple as a bug, but considering that you were at the montero farm, the most rational explanation to you was the lighting of a cigarette. you had no idea who it could’ve been, though; out in the west, it could’ve been anybody–it seemed that everybody smoked… well, except you. however, you were intrigued to join them anyway. after all, it seemed more appealing than staring at random objects around the barracks and cursing yourself for not sleeping. 

slowly creeping out of bed, you slipped into your combat boots and laced them up. you snuck up to the door of the barracks that was left slightly ajar and quietly pulled it towards you until there was enough space to make a stealthy exit.

as you walked out of the barracks, the gorgeous night sky caught your attention. it was a beautiful shade of blue that was magnificently complemented by flecks of white and yellow that almost resembled stars–who knew for certain in yara? there was a gentle breeze that brushed against your skin, promptly reminding you that you hadn’t even considered a jacket, but still, your feet continued to take you forward. you’d be fine.

you approached the tree and peeked around the other side to spot espada leaned up against it with a cigarette between her fingers, huffing out a cloud of smoke. she noticed your presence and waved you over to her. 

“hey,” you said, rounding the tree to stand by her.

“hola,” she muttered, putting her cigarette between her lips. she took a puff before speaking again. “you smoke?”

you weren’t generally a smoker, but the release of chemicals it would bring sounded enticing. plus, the thought of spending some alone time with espada didn’t seem so bad, either. you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have a bit of a crush on her. then again, who didn’t? 

reading your face for an answer, espada grabbed her cigarette box from her shirt pocket and flipped the top open, pulling one out. you extended your arm out to grab it, thinking that she would place it in your hand. instead, she stepped forward and casually raised it to your mouth herself. you welcomed the interaction, parting your lips and closing them around the cigarette. your eyes made contact as she pinched her cigarette and leaned forward, getting close enough to light your cigarette with her own. 

once your cigarette was lit, and your belly was fluttering from the small interaction, espada stepped back to lean against the tree again but never quite returned to her prior distance. she remained lingering in your space, facing you, her eyes rarely leaving yours. there were a few moments of silence when you would both take drags of your cigarettes, looking up at the night sky every so often.

“what has you up so late?” she asked, seeming genuinely interested.

“too much on my mind, i guess,” you admitted. the same could be said for just about any yaran, but they could sleep just fine. why couldn’t you? “y tú?”

she shrugged, sighing as she exhaled her cigarette smoke. “i dunno, the same.”

you nodded your head in understanding. it was right back to the silence filling the air, along with the cigarette smoke and your attempts to stifle the little coughs that tried to escape. you wanted to say more–to keep the conversation going–but nothing hit you.

“it’s beautiful, no?” she finally broke the silence once more, pointing up to the sky with her cigarette in hand. 

“sí,” you nodded. “not many beautiful nights like this.”

she looked hesitant for a moment, staring right at the ground. it seemed like she wanted to tell you something, but she couldn’t quite get it out yet. you waited patiently, continuing to admire the night sky. it was beautiful. 

“mi mamá and i would watch the stars sometimes,” her eyes looked up for a second, but then went back to the ground, like she couldn’t make eye contact while recollecting those memories. “she would tell me that when we go, we become like them.”

“that’s beautiful, espada,” you complimented, tilting your head to admire her for that bit of information, appreciating the vulnerability. you never thought you’d see a softer side of her, and you certainly didn’t think she’d ever willingly let you see it.

“i look for her on these nights, you know? been gone for years, but i keep lookin’.” 

you smiled at her as she looked back at you, and a tiny smile appeared across her face as well. more moments were spent looking up at the night sky, with your occasional glance back down to espada, who seemed to have a lot more on her mind. 

“is something bothering you?” you finally decided to ask, worried about her, but knowing that you may not even get a response back.

her attention was now on you, rather than the night sky, and you could read her expression better. there was a sort of longing that you couldn’t quite place, though–a longing for what? 

“yes.”

“do you want to talk about it?”

there was hesitation. her eyes peered all over, but never quite landed back on yours yet.

“look, you’ve shown that i can trust you, sí? you can’t repeat what i’m about to tell you–not yet.”

“of course,” you assured. “you can talk to me.”

she nodded and looked back at you, maintaining eye contact, but seemed to still hesitate to divulge any information. you squeezed your eyebrows together and continued to look at her. 

“what’s going on, espada?”

“mierda… do you remember the lieutenant i’ve been trying to locate?” 

“sí.”

“he’s not just any lieutenant. he’s my little brother.”

“espada, i-“

“he changed his name when he joined the fnd. now he’s working for that hijo de puta josé.”

“does anybody else know?”

“some do, and they call him a traitor,” her voice trailed off. “but he’s still a montero.”

“are you close to finding him?”

“no sé. i just know he’s a big scientist at one of the facilities, but i don’t know which one.”

“what’s the plan when you find him?”

“to… bring him home.” espada spoke lower that time, lowering her head as well. “i don’t know if he will come back. papá has always been so hard on him. on both of us. alej couldn’t take the heat, so he left. papá says he doesn’t care, but i know he does. deep down.”

“i’m so-“

“no. i don’t need your pity.”

you just tilted your head to apologize, not wanting to ruin the moment. you were surprised that she was even telling you something like this, but honored at the same time.  

“pinga. anyways,” she put out her cigarette and immediately lit another. “do you want to talk about what’s keeping you up?”

you shrugged, not knowing what to say, but getting the hint that she wanted to move on with the conversation. “i’ve just always had a hard time sleeping.”

“por qué?”

“i dunno,” then you looked to the ground. “i just think too much.”

“ah.”

“sí,” you hesitated for a second, but then realized how hard it must’ve been for espada to open up herself. “i don’t know how to stop some recurring thoughts.”

“what are they about?”

“sometimes irrational things, sometimes rational things.”

espada nodded as she listened, giving you the go-ahead to keep going. 

“i think, no, i worry a lot about this war. i know we are strong, but do we really have what it takes?”

“fuck yes we do. we are going to get that comemierda.”

“will i even be there to witness it?”

“herma’… you’re a good guerrilla. don’t forget that.”

“pero-“

“oye, how do you think you survived this long?”

“help from some amazing guerrillas.”

“sí,” she stepped closer, putting her hand on your shoulder. “and you’re one of them.”

“i guess so.” you looked down at her hand, which lingered. “thank you, espada.”

“call me camila. and i am always out here around this time, so join me when you can’t sleep. i could use a smoking buddy.” there was another one of her adorable smiles–rare to see, but you were just getting spoiled with them that night. 

“gracias, camila.”

~

even after your cigarettes were put out, you continued to small talk. hours passed until the sun was finally starting to come up, and you parted ways. 

you walked back to the barracks with a fear that the intimate moment you just experienced would be forgotten forever. you felt even closer to camila after the night you had, and you wanted to get even closer. there was a glimmer of hope in you that she might begin to see you differently–if she hasn’t already–and maybe even try to get closer to you, too. unsurprising to your habit of overthinking, you also wondered if she truly meant her invitation to meet up again at night. 

~ 

after managing to get an hour of sleep, you were awoken by the sound of the others around you getting up and ready for the day. you figured there was no use in trying to get any more sleep because the noise alone would keep you awake. you pulled your pillow over your face to stifle a grunt before deciding to get up and perform your morning routine. 

last night’s thoughts remained in your head as you got ready for the day. you were obviously no stranger to overthinking, but you couldn’t help but ponder your crush on camila. what happened only intensified it, and you just wondered if there was potential for anything more there. getting caught up in your own thoughts, you were reminded by dani that it was time to go.

finally finished and ready, you stepped outside, spotting camila executing her attack moves with her knife near her tree. you stopped and found yourself staring at her, admiring her prowess. she paused for a moment to take a deep breath and wiped the sweat from her forehead before glancing around and finally landing her eyes on you. 

fuck, you thought. 

expecting a cold stare or even a quick head-turn on her part, you were instead greeted with a gentle smile before she returned to her sparring. her small expression made you smile as well, and you continued about your day, following dani out of the camp. 

you were not immune to ruminating over the previous events as you and dani fought soldados in madrugada. she caught you distracted a few times, but you brushed it off like it was nothing. she did not need to know about your silly crush because it was silly, right?

~

that night, when everybody else was sound asleep, you took a chance and went out to meet camila again. as you once again rounded the tree, camila saw you and smiled, seemingly happy to see you.  

“ven acá,” she commanded. “i want you to try this.”

you made a spot next to her against the tree and grabbed the cigarette she offered you from her hand. you inhaled quickly, then exhaled slowly. 

“mmm…” you pulled the cigarette from your lips and rotated it in your hand, analyzing it. “qué es esto?”

she took the cigarette from your fingers and took another puff. as she blew out, she opened her mouth to proudly utter: “the good shit. i’ve been saving it.”

~

the night went by quickly as you conversed, took turns smoking the same cigarette, and enjoyed each other’s company. you discussed more things about yourselves, relishing in the time to get to know each other some more. interest was shared on both sides and it was a pleasant experience. you hoped that every night would be like that.

the most unfortunate part always crept up, though, and that was when you had to call it quits and retire back to the barracks. it was the same as the night before–camila offered to meet up again the following night, and then the night after that, and the night after that.

~ 

several nights went by, and they were several nights filled with meetings between you and camila in various spots, like the tree or sniper’s nest by the camp. they have been nights when you both took pleasure in each other’s company, getting to know each other on a deeper level. you both grew close so fast, and it felt like you had known each other for ages. 

the “silly” crush on camila has since grown exponentially as you revealed more of yourself to her and, in turn, learned a lot more of her. your feelings get to a point where you can no longer contain them anymore, and one night, you decide it’s time to approach her about them. 

~

your head was against camila’s shoulder as you both sat, looking out onto the camp from the sniper’s nest on the mountaintops. camila was talking about her day and how she managed to make some strides with the other guerrillas–which she can now call them–that she was training. you looked up at her every so often, hoping to make eye contact with her, and when you did, it left butterflies in your stomach. you had to tell her how you felt. 

as with every other night, there was one cigarette shared between the two of you. when it was finally gone, camila rubbed it on the ground and flicked it off the mountain. the hand that was holding the cigarette was then rubbing your shoulder as your head still laid against her shoulder. when you turned to look at it, she removed it.

“i-i’m sorry,” she muttered quietly, sitting up a little bit.

you lifted your head off of her shoulder and watched as she stood up. she brushed her thighs off with her hands and looked down at you with that same longing glance that you saw several nights before. you had previously dismissed it as just having been missing her mother, but at that point, you were starting to wonder if it was more than that–if it was much more in that moment. 

“what’s going on, camila?” you questioned, worried, but also fairly curious to see where it was going. would you even be able to work up the courage to confess your feelings to her?

“there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you.”

oh? you thought. could she have been feeling the same way? no. she couldn’t be.

“what is it?”

her face reddened, and her eyes lingered on yours. she hadn’t even spit it out, and she was already looking nervous–it must’ve been a big deal. the least of your worries caught your attention in that moment and you couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she was. the moonlight shone on her skin divinely, accentuating her features and making her lips glisten. you felt bad for staring at a time like that, but it was true. she was beautiful.

you finally stood up and stepped closer to her, hoping that the closeness would bring her some comfort to share what has been plaguing her. 

“camila? what’s the mat-“

you were quickly cut off by her lips against yours, her gloved hands cupping your face on both sides, and her body moving you slightly backwards. you instinctively placed your arms behind her neck to bring her even closer to you, deepening the kiss. her head tilted to the side to give for better access as you both continued to savor the kiss. you found your hands lifting to brush against her face–which was surprisingly soft–as you held her in place. you never wanted that moment to end.

so many emotions were running through you as your lips were together. was this it? was it finally happening?

camila pulled away for some air, causing your lips to turn into a pout. you slowly opened your eyes to see a smiley camila looking right back at you. your hands were still on each other as you pulled each other close once more to share a quick little smooch or two. 

before she pulled away for good, she rubbed her nose against yours and then exhaled slowly. your cheeks already had some heat in them as you maintained eye contact with camila, whose hands were now off you as she stepped back. she studied your expression, worried about the impulsiveness that she just gave into. 

“lo siento.”

“why are you sorry?”

“pinga, i just couldn’t hold that in anymore.”

“it’s okay, camila. i’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”

she was somehow shocked: “really? i mean, me too.”

you giggled, and since she was still within an arms reach, you pulled her close to you once more, but this time, to hug her. you felt safe and secure in those arms, and it was another place you did not want to leave. she put her arms around you and squeezed you tighter, letting out a rather large exhale–one you can only guess is of relief.

when you pulled away again, you were both smiling, feeling good about the turn of events. it was clearly soemthing you have both been waiting for as those nights have passed, and it couldn’t have turned out better. 

~

you and camila went back to your little blanket to watch the stars. your head was back on her shoulder, and her hand was on yours–and this time, it was going to stay. she ran her hand up and down your arm, enjoying the moment, happy to finally have gotten that out of the way.

before you went back down the mountain, camila turned to you and took your hand in hers. 

“so, same time mañana?”

[remmyswritings]

Here’s part 3 of my still unnamed blaise zabini x f!reader series.

Part 2 is here

tagging some of my moots in case they want to read it: @booksmusicteaandanimals @cregan-starks @witch-and-a-half and as always thank you to my bestie who just read this draft over for me, and helping me make decisions

The room was stiffly quiet as you settled into the chair across from Blaise. As like all your previous meetings in the Room of Requirement, the room had provided you with two extremely comfortable chairs and a sofa in the middle- much like the set up of both of your common rooms and typically the two of you would be cuddled up on the sofa. This was not a typical meeting, however.

It was not a typical meeting when you walked in a couple minutes early as you were prone to do, to find the room empty. It was not a typical meeting when Blaise walked in the second the clock on the wall struck 9 and settled directly into the chair without even a word leaving his lips.

His hand unintentionally grazed yours as he walked past, prompting you to head for the chair across from him, but you knew that if it was up to him he wouldn’t have let any physical contact occur between the two of you.

He looked at you. His eyes openly declaring the storm of emotions he felt for you while the rest of his body stayed silent.

“I’m sorry,” your eyes stilled on his fingers as you spoke, not able to return his gaze yet not able to keep your gaze off of him, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” The coldness in his voice startled you, forcing you to finally look at him.

Your lips parted, the clock ticked away as you bit your bottom lip only to release it, “For everything,” you breathed deeply, “I guess.”

You were the one looking at him now as his gaze turned downward to his own hands, particularly to the ring he had subconsciously started to play with. You saw the way his adams apple moved as he mulled on your words.

“When you mean everything-” there was a crack in his voice, the only other sign that you knew he was just as apprehensive about this conversation as you were.

You shook your head automatically even though he still wasn’t looking at you, “No, no… not us. Just…”

The silence stilled between you once again. He still hadn’t looked up at you. You couldn’t help yourself, you were on autopilot as you moved to the edge of the sofa closest to him, your hand slowly making its way into his view.

His hands retracted to his body as his eyes finally met yours, his lips turned into a snarl. He was hurt, you knew that of course, but something about his refusal of your touch broke the last piece of you.

You hadn’t felt the tears running down your face, not until Blaise’s cold fingers hovered over your face. You couldn’t stop the sad smile that formed as you forced your fingers to take over from him. He knew he’d caused your tears, he hadn’t meant to but he did, and he wanted to be the one to stop them, but he let you cup your fingers to your face as you composed yourself.

He never did like seeing you cry.

A sniffle emerged from you and then your muffled voice, “I’m sorry, for what happened this summer.”

He remained silent, watching as your face ever so slowly returned to his view. A cautious smile formed, hoping you’d continue.

You seemed to be calculating your words as you continued on, “I wasn’t in a position where I could send you any letters. I’d hoped I could at least send you one at the beginning- my mum had mentioned where’d we be staying since before we got on the train. But, well, I just wasn’t able to. I don’t mean this as an excuse just an explanation because I am still so sorry.”

You watched him. You watched as he contemplated your words.

•••

As the brisk fall air turned to the chilly snow, you found your smile growing larger each time your eyes met Blaise’s. Your relationship strengthened with every hand graze and every dinner date… even if you weren’t calling them dates. Yet, when Blaise appeared that night with a nervousness surrounding him, you couldn’t help but question if this was it.

“Everything okay?” You forced yourself to smile as Blaise brought you into one of his hugs.

He nodded as his arms tightened around you just ever so slightly before pulling away completely, “Everything’s fine.”

You settle back down onto the sofa, using the contact of Blaise’s hands in yours as a way to soothe your beating heart. He says everything is fine so everything is fine.

The night goes on in it’s your usual fashion, the two of you discussing your day- you complaining about Umbridge as much as can be done without bringing down the mood entirely, him talking about his Quidditch practice and the upcoming game in a few weeks. You let the routine comfort you, when Blaise suddenly breaks away from it.

“What are you doing this weekend?”

Your body stilled. Weekends weren’t part of the routine just yet. Yes, he’d forgiven you, but you hadn’t made it to the weekend stage. Not when you were still trying to build up what you’d broken.

“This weekend?” The words sounded foreign against your lips.

He nodded, his eyes desperately trying to connect with yours as you looked in every direction but him.

He tried again, “Love,” your ears perked at the words, “I’d like to take you out on a date to Hogsmeade this weekend… if you don’t already have plans.”

You had plans. You knew you had plans. Hermione had told you about the plan to meet various students at Hogs Head to discuss Umbridge and her lack of teaching. You were expected to be amongst the crowd. You looked at Blaise and nodded, “I’d love to go on a date.”

The smile remained etched on your face as you snuggled into bed that night, your first proper date with Blaise. That was a good sign. You knew Hermione would understand.

•••

“I am sorry I won’t be able to make it,” you drifted between looking at Hermione as you spoke and watching the other students as they reached the entrance of the castle.

She nodded as she took in your anxious state, “It’s alright. If you want we can meet up tonight, Ginny and I will tell you how it went.” Her hand reached out to grab yours and gave it a tight squeeze, “You excited?”

Your whole body seemed to tingle at her question, “I think I understand the whole butterflies in your stomach thing now.”

Her mouth opens once more but before she can even pose her question, the crunching of snow close by causes you to turn your heads. A slight disappointment grows when you realize it’s only Harry and Ron finally ready for the trio’s outing to the village. Until you see the flash of a dark green scarf behind them, hovering at the doorway.

You don’t even bother saying goodbye to Hermione, merely leaving her with a nod and another hand squeeze as you hurry over to meet Blaise. You can hear the three Gryffindors retreating away from you but there’s really nothing else on your mind as you greet Blaise with a hug, and surprisingly a kiss on the cheek.

It’s a quick movement, the only evidence it occurred being the same quickness with which you step away. But Blaise is just as quick as his arms tighten around you, savoring the moment for as long as both of you want.

You haven’t even left the grounds and yet you know that this date is off to a wonderful start.

[itsabirbe]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy! Your one request for if I chose to write that one shot was to let you know beforehand so you wouldn't get jump scared. and.....I...may have forgot- But it's fine! just uh- Yeah. I did it! I have it written its a little over 3k. I was about to post when I came on here to double check that you allow inspiration, and found that message. So I'm putting it in drafts until you see this so you aren't jump scared! :D Sorry for still the very very little warning, I have been super busy and just started to write for fun without really thinking about the consequences of my actions. My apologies for my poor planning and failure to communicate. I am also just really really excited about this fic, but i'll wait for your go ahead to post! And I hope you enjoy it too! :)

dw about it bestie! :D I mostly just wanted to know so I could run as fast as I could to read it :3

you can go ahead and post it whenever, it’s your work after all! I’m glad you’re still finding time to write even if you’ve been busy <3

[weird-dere-writes]

Alright you know why I'm here! Ichidere college au lore let's go!

Wooooooooo!!!! 💃🏾✨

More Ichidere lore in the College Byakujas universe >:))))))

I like to think that after that time he was kind enough to help me look for you when I was lost, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him. I could be doing just the most mundane thing and he will pop into my head. Even more so than before when I was simply crushing from afar.

I will be brushing my teeth and his voice will pop into my head and then I’ll accidentally make myself gag. I will be filling my car up with gas and start thinking about how he walked me off campus after I gave you your thing, and then I will have spent a little more money than intended when i come to and look at the little screen on the pump. Casually eating lunch and thinking about how stronk his arm looked when he raised it to scratch the back of his head and I bite my tongue about it and sob cus OW MY TONGUE.

Like I have only experienced the man for at most a couple hours that one day but I am an entire mess lmao.

Quite licherally spinning him around on a rotisserie in my brain and I cannot control it.

AUGH and when you let me know and you Byakuya have noticed my fondness for him I am lowkey bashful when I’m with you guys going around campus. Cus I feel like y’all are always looking and me and wondering if I am looking to see Ichigo (which I might be sometimes, but y’all don’t have to know!!).

Now I am just casually hanging around the school even though I haven’t started attending yet. But! With you and Byakkun’s help I have started the process of applying. Because it’s a little late, I’m unsure if I’ll make it in but my fingers are crossed! Would be cool to graduate the same year as (what is hopefully) my college sweetheart like the bestie and her Byakkun 🫶🏾.

Ichigo also thinks about our first time meeting from time to time, though nowhere near as much as me since he actually has stuff to focus on with his internship and prepping for his first grad year starting soon.

Specifically he thinks about how I was almost about to cry when he found me. Like you said, he’s polite! So he didn’t say anything then. He was glad he was able to get along well with me and help out to make those watery eyes go away. Sometimes tho he finds himself wondering if he’ll see me around on campus again by chance. He hopes if he does that I’m not so upset.

He doesn’t like to see anyone sad, but he felt something a little different when he thought about me specifically. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because I was your friend? And you were sort of an extension of his mentor Byakuya to him?

One time he’s working with Byakuya on something. And it’s on something a little more to do with your expertise. As you’re drafting up a little paper to help Byakuya you realize because of my Psych degree I might be able to help with a part you’re a little unsure about. We were hanging out at your house at the time having a little sleepover, so I was also able to write some notes of my own on the sheet.

Byakuya brought it with for the project. Ichi knows Byakuya’s handwriting, so he figures he didn’t write this reference page they were both looking at from time to time. He asks who did, to be told that the purple ink is in your handwriting, and that the pink ink is mine.

Byakkun goes back to working but Ichigo is looking at the paper for a moment, blinking to himself. When Byakkun steps away, Ichi is lightly stroking places where my handwriting is. He thought my writing was pretty…

Lmao also thinking about if something goes wrong with Ichi’s car, so you end up volunteering me as his ride and i wanna KILL U CUS HOW COULD U DO THIS TO ME!! IM NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR THIS PLS 😭. At first it’s a lot of the three of us (me, you, n Ichi in the back). But then you start making moves. Insisting Ichi sits in the front with me (“Oh I just need to go through my bag and it might get messy!”). And then eventually you just yeet all together and start getting rides with Byakuya, leaving me ALONE. And you’re smirking about it but I am a WRECK cus I’m so silly about him HELP. This point is when he and I exchange numbers since we no longer have you as a middle person.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Your matchmaking is VICIOUS but i know it’s out of love lmao <333333.

[tojisun]

Not me running on liquid courage again. 💀🥂

I mean we all know canon toji is an asshole ❤️, but domestic?!?! It just makes you wanna bash a keyboard 😗 like how can you not! It's so fucking frustrating! He IS beautiful indeed its frustrating!

🥺🥺🤧 ahh this response! I know I said thank you already but like 🥺 thank you. I'm happy you found a healthy outlet. It takes a lot to acknowledge when you're not feeling well AND to doing something positive about it, so virtual hug 🤧 bring it in 🫂!

I wish school systems would actually give a fuck and do a better job preparing students for uni (dont we all). Everyone has a different situation but uni will always be there. I mean they want your money loans, right?? Take all the time you need while you're in uni. This is just my experience, but I feel like this is really only one time where you'll have a chance to work on your adult life before it becomes an expectation.

I just miss being a student for leeway at work. 0h and bc I like learning.

Omg I feel you on a personal level. Taking a 18 hour semester and a +50hr job for WHAT!!! In the end, I changed my major when I had 3 more classes until I graduated, so i graduated in 6 years 🙃.

Truly, please be kind to yourself. We only have 1 fucking day in the week to not think about work. I'm channeling my spirit energy to you. I wish you the best! Please take care and stay safe.

(Sorry for any typos)

omg hey!!! howre u!! sorry it took a while for me to respond ahdjwjs

no no bc that’s exactly me!! canon toji was so much of an asshole that i had a hard time writing him being soft and domestic and kind (ie: my first established fic was toji leaving the reader for mamaguro bc ik that man would choose her in any universe </33) but then i was like fuck canon. i want toji who’s in love w the reader; toji who cares for the reader; toji who’s moved on and healed from mamaguro and loving the reader for them and not as mamaguro’s replacement!!!! (most of my fics tend to follow this au)

i remember when i was drafting one of my first fluff fics (not headcanon or drabble), one of my besties told me, “ur projecting.” like maam, do u think i dont know 😭 but yea i wrote my soft toji whose scarred lips are gentle when they kiss the reader because toji is so pretty, we need him being happy with reader!!!!

thank u so much for the hug!! ive been having severe bad weeks and i needed this <3333 hugs you tight too 😚

and absolutely!! my school did ok in preparing us for post-secondary; college did amazing in helping me transition from high school setting and into post-secondary setting; but fuck. uni is a whole different level. can’t catch a break fr like AHHSHSHH

but yes thank u so much for the advice!!! i can absolutely see what u mean. like rn, even if i have work and back-to-back lectures, i still have the opportunities to ask for time-offs to prepare for my midterms and finals and papers which has helped me greatly! the life experience is helping me lots while giving me some form of coddling and ik this wouldnt really last into (greater) adulthood so that kinda sucks :((

and omg u switching majors is nerve-wracking but amazing at the same time!! ik sm of my friends who just suck up with their majors even if theyre fr struggling so im glad that u were able to pursue something more your style. im sorry it took long for u to grad though but still!!! im so happy for uu!!!

and i will be kind to myself, i promiseee!! ive been doing better these past few days and hoping to have more kind days moving forward!

thank you again for this kind mssge! ur words and kindness truly means a lot to me. take care darling, and have a happy and safe drinking 🥹🫶🏼

[mashed4077]

🌃 intro post! 🌃

(bit late but i didn’t want a cluttered bio anymore so here’s this)

hiii im shay! i fixated on mash back in november and i officially finished it on march 22nd 2023!! im gonna rewatch soon tho

about this blog

this is a side-blog!

tags: i tag pretty extensively for the sake of categorization; here’s hoping my character tags prove fun to scroll through!

queue: as of the day i’m writing this, i have a very full queue, because i have a habit of liking literally every post i see related to a fixation, and then spam-queuing it later to clean my likes out. so i hope you enjoy all the content! lots of funny scenes and textposts, well-made gifsets, wonderful fanart, and insightful meta, if i do say so myself. mashblr is a talented bunch!

original posts/content: i don’t contribute much on my own, but i love to ramble and i hope some of my lengthy tags prove an interesting or at least entertaining read :) i do dabble in fanfic writing and i’ve got a few mash works in my drafts, but i’m not sure if they’ll ever see the light of day. i’m also fond of meta and character analysis, so if i ever work up the courage maybe ill put out some moderately thought-provoking posts in that realm.

some of my opinions relating to mash characters & ships can be found under the read more!

these are all subjective and i completely respect anyone who disagrees :) we’re all here to have fun!

summarized thoughts on the characters (kinda sorted by fav to least fav)

mulcahy has been driving me bonkers for months (and my jewish ass has been putting far too much thought into catholicism lately bc of him😒)

frank,,,, listen. i’m sorry. but listen, as baffled and/or disgusted as you are, i’m the mf stuck being the only one in this entire fandom who flails over frank burns. so how do you think i feel. ik he’s absolutely awful, but he’s just so damn pathetic, i can’t help but like him and find him fascinating

radar is a bubby to me, i dont rlly have complex thoughts on him hes kinda just a comfort character to me n ilhsm

charles... he snuck up on me. i didnt expect to like him, much less relate to him (-_-) i just exposed myself as a charles winchester kinnie how will my reputation recover

i love hawkeye a lot, as we all do <3

i love trapper john mcintyre!!!!!!!!!!

i love margaret!!! i love klinger!!! i love henry!!! 

im pretty neutral on potter and bj

in short: i love them all a lot but mulcahy and frank have each driven me particularly mad in different ways and radar with his animals has made me cry and charles would probably drive me nuts if i let him but i am keeping him at arm’s length.

summarized thoughts on ships (again, strongest first)

(yes i have frank ships. no i am not proud of it)

my mash otp is hawkahy. it’s been slowly draining the remainder of my sanity. i havent slept in months. send help

i am a sucker for enemies/rivals to lovers and hawnk kinda makes me a little nuts.

i know he’s not good for her but i think margaret x frank have a rlly interesting relationship and they can be cute sometimes, and i think about them more than i’d like to admit. i am not immune to het ships consisting of badass women with control issues and their toxic pathetic purse-dog boyfriends.

henry x klinger is literally canon idc

pierceintyre... ;-; hh

i love semi-niche trapper ships. trapcahy is a little bit 👀 and i really like trapper x margaret

hawkeye x henry... shh...

bonus trios i think about sometimes😳: hawkeye x margaret x frank, margaret x frank x flagg (SHH), hawkeye x trapper x mulcahy. do u see my evil vision

aaand some platonic dynamics i particularly enjoy

mulcahy & klinger are besties :)

mulcahy & margaret have a sibling dynamic that i absolutely adore, esp in the potter seasons, particularly the later ones.

charles & margaret are a fun duo. the ship tease they did a little was... idk how to feel about it, but i like them as buddies.

margaret & klinger... the girlies

hawkeye & klinger!!! the el jibbities are flocking together..

hawkeye & margaret :)

i do very much enjoy hawkeye & bj’s friendship

not friendship but charles & mulcahy’s animosity is sooo funny i will never tire of it

notps: klinger x charles, and hunnihawk. do not doxx me.

i think thats all for now. enjoy my nonsense!

.mobile header credit.

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[owlfacenightkit]

Hi bestie! Lots of emojis for you hehe! ❤️ + 🎁 + 💕 + 🦋 + 🦈 + 📚 + 💌 + 🎨

Hi bestie!!!! I was scrolling through my drafts and found this! So here ya go!

❤️ What is your favorite line you’ve written in a fic? I... honestly do not know. Perhaps I should reread my fics sometime and find that out lol

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share? LET'S GO WITH THIS DOUXIE FIC I'M WORKING ON >:D

💕 What is your favorite fic you’ve written? Currently that stands as my unfinished Danny Phantom vivisection fic. I am VERY proud of it

Though for published fics? Probably this one

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write? Ough. Another hard question. Probably have to go with uhhhh... hmmmm.... that honor probably goes to Sasha Waybright (even though I haven't written her in FOREVER)

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write? Anne!! And the rest of the Plantars!! I don’t know why they’re so hard to write but they just are!!

Editor's note (editor is me lol): This ask is really really old (it's from January of 2023!!!!!) but this part still stands lol (The majority of this ask had to be revised because. Outdated. Very, very outdated lol)

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend? HELL YEAH!! Not gonna tag them, but @/jackdaw-sprite!! Has to be my favorite Danny Phantom author. I just. Hrnmgh. *Inexpressable sounds of adoration*

The characterazation? The writing itself?? Idk. I really love it

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write? Does hurt/comfort count as a trope? If not, then uhhh... found family? <- She says, having never really written found family before lol

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? Goodness this is hard. My DP fic hasn’t been posted yet, so I guess any fic or scene

[rainyrefrain]

tell us abt your ocs!!

ask and you shall receive >:)

Nanya Forza(she/her) She's changed the most since her creation. At first, she was a mermaid OC for the book: Of Poseidon by Anna Banks (give it a read if you like enemies to lovers with a little bit of fake dating. Galen is a bit possessive tho) and she would get Toraf to fall in love with her. Then Toraf was super OOC and he turned into Remus, who I'll mention later.

Once she was no longer tied to a specific book, she changed once more. She was no longer a mermaid (but still a princess). She's going through a lot: her mom died, she'd caught her boyfriend cheating on her, and she was recently appointed as a Cabinet member.

Then I decided to scrap the whole princess thing and she's a law student in her senior year. Her dad is some rich oil guy and people generally hate him (myself included).

Nanya is kind of an introvert. She likes spending a lot of time by herself, but she's got huge attachment issues and needs people to survive. She's not one to seek confrontation and tends to keep quiet. However, she will tell you if she hates you. It's a strange combo ngl.

Anyway, I gave her a dog because she's totally a dog person. She drinks coffee more than tea, likes trashy reality tv, and should not be trusted behind the wheel (she barely passed her driver's test).

Remus Hwang(he/him) Like Nanya, he is the product of my OOC Toraf X OC fanfiction that will never see the light of day. He is Nanya's bodyguard in both of my first drafts. I mostly chose this for him because I didn't know how else to give Nanya friends where it's obvious they have at least some history. Also, he's her love interest.

In the college/non-monarchy storyline, he's a nursing student who found himself sitting at the same library table as Nanya but never actually speaking with her.

He's outgoing and caring; it seems like he makes a new friend every day. He tries his best to be someone people can trust and rely on. He's got really good memory, and makes an effort to remember details about others to understand them better.

He likes vinyl records, candles, jazz, dancing like no one's watching, and cooking (he's horrible at baking, but that won't stop him from baking you cupcakes for your birthday). He gives the best hugs and has a contagious laugh. I love him fr <3

Neveah Valiant(she/her) I decided that Nanya needed a girl bestie so I made Neveah. She's Nanya's roommate. She loves art and making things with her hands. Much like Remus, she's quite the social butterfly. She knows everything about everyone (which is surprising considering she has yet to figure out that Nanya and Remus are into each other). Idk she's a side character that kind of acts as someone Nanya can talk to so that I don't write exclusively inner dialogue.

Benjamin Valiant (he/they) They are Neveah's twin. He and Nanya were inseparable in middle and high school, as both shared a love for mystery and law. They hope to become a social worker because he feels a strong conviction to help people in need get out of bad situations. He has their own place, but he spends most of their time at Neveah and Nanya's apartment because they find it to be more cozy.

Phillip Danzell (he/him) I hate him from a reader's standpoint, but I love writing him so much. Phillip is Nanya's ex-boyfriend. He's also the child of rich parents and he treats life like it's a constant party. He's unemployed, not in school, and he simply goes and does what he pleases. He was only interested in Nanya because their parents are friends and it seemed convenient (Nanya's feelings were real though). He's constantly flipping from being charming and a gentleman to being an absolute prick; you never know which Phillip you're getting until he opens his mouth to talk.

[americanrecord]

hi kelsey! it's nice to see you back!

just had a few writing questions for you as i am really looking to writing as a future career option/aspiration. i've been writing fanfiction for the past few years almost consistently - a lot of one shots and long series written - and writing is quite honestly the love of my life. i almost always look forward to sitting down at my computer with a coffee and lana del rey and pick up where i left my story off, or planning characters and settings and plot lines. i love most of what comes with creating stories.

quite honestly, i have faith in my writing ability. it's not something i usually question but what i do question is how manageable is writing as a career? how do you get your books published? do some never get published? there are so many anxieties and worries going into something like becoming an author and it's one of the things that really makes me feel i should choose a more "realistic" career option. i'd love to write on the side! but i feel like when i pick the "realistic" option there might not be enough time for me to pursue it as a career.

sorry if i'm rambling, it's just something i'm curious about as you're obviously hoping to get your book published (and i have every faith that you will). sorry if this comes off as rude too - it wasn't intentional :)

hi, bestie! it's nice to be back!! sorry, that whole getting a job thing and actually having to go every day and for all 8 hours is a real killer. i've also been busy getting draft 3 in order! so if i'm ever dead for a long period of time, either my life has blown up or i'm deep in writing/editing something. this past time was both!

anyway, writing questions, yay! first, i think it's great that you're looking at it like a future career choice/option! you should always keep as an option even if necessity has other plans. it's so nice to hear that you've found a genuine love for it, too. as somebody who used to write a lot of fanfiction, it's still real writing, and it's an amazing place for many writers to get their start. (truthfully, if more writers started out on ao3/wattpad, we might not see booktok so infested, but that's another topic) i also know that the fanfic territory comes with a lot of struggles, either people being demanding, judgmental, inconsiderate, and or just plain un-encouraging in their silence despite their consumption, so i love to hear that it's a source of immense happiness for you. i hope it stays that way, if and when you transition to original work, if that's the type of writing you're looking to pursue!! (i can certifiably say that while the writing, drafting, and editing process is tedious, particularly in the case of the latter two, i am having so much more fun.)

i also love to hear that you have faith in yourself! more of that! but i will say that being an author is really not a career you can simply elect. take it from me, if anybody could be an author, with any level of skill or effort, i would be an author. many more people would be authors. to be a career author (in the sense that you don't need to have any other jobs to support yourself), you have to have books successfully published, and—in most cases, a good few of them. it's pretty rare for an author to become a mega-millionaire (at all), but especially based off a debut novel. again, take everything i say with a grain of salt because i quite literally am not an author, but i would never advise any aspiring author to quit their job until they are racking in the amount of money that would allow them to write unsupported.

1.) how manageable is a writing career?

depends. this is strictly speaking in regards to a novel-writing career, by the way, because there are many writing jobs on the market that quite literally pay you for your writing. probably not enough, but...still. no publishing industry, just freelance/assigned topics and vibes. on novel-writing: i'm not published, i have no money, so i work as a paralegal. that takes up all my days, monday to friday, 9-5 (7-6), so my writing time comes from 6-11 on weeknights and then i maximize my weekends. some would say that's not manageable for a writing career, and...well, it's technically not, but it is what it is. the hard truth is that most aspiring authors have to squeeze writing time between shifts, late at night, early in the morning, onto sticky notes at work, on weekends, on time off, during holidays, etc. what is required for an author to have an authoring career would be not working or working perhaps part-time and having a living arrangement where there is somebody directly supporting you financially. be that a parent, a sibling, a spouse/significant other, a really faithful friend, whatever. that is the ideal. that, however, is not an obtainable reality for many, so day jobs it is. finding time in the in-between is your best bet. for me, i make the best of it!! it's still time, and it's so much more than nothing if you use it. it's not the most encouraging thing, maybe, yes, but it's reality, and as soon as that dreadful spoonful goes down, the easier it is to pick up, reshuffle, and find a pattern/writing habits that work for you. say you write an amazing novel in those small spaces and get it published, yielding yourself a little success, then things can change. doors might open, time might free up, and you could find yourself in the middle of lots of writing time!! think of that not as an impossibility but something to work toward. many, many authors out there, even ones with name recognition, still can't afford to quit their day jobs, because books aren't always highly profitable, NYT bestsellers, even if they do well. that doesn't mean they aren't authors, it doesn't mean they can't juggle a writing career (and consider whatever else they do the side hustle), or that they won't keep writing publishable novels in their downtime. it sucks, but as i tell myself: it's life. (as long as i live in capitalist hell)

2.) how do you get your books published?

i'll let you know when it happens to me! but also, jokes aside, it's a long, long, longgggg process. the writing, drafting, and editing processes, plus the feedback cycles, are only like the first half of the journey. so you finished a manuscript, yay! it's shiny, and perfect, and at the appropriate length, and—nobody wants it. publishing a book, traditionally (as in through a publishing house, not through self-publishing, which anybody can do), has as much to do with skill as it does with luck. you sent your book off to a literary agent at the exact right time it was the type of book they were looking for and/or it was what the market was demanding. for example, though i fear the market is becoming oversaturated, what is huge right now is romantasy (romance x fantasy). many a writer are polishing up their dragon and sex books rn and sending them in and likely receiving agents because readers are devouring those voraciously. it might not even be good, it might not be as great as *yours*, but it's what the market wants, and it'll be what the market gets.

and publishing is a whole iceberg of things, but the basics of it (granted, i don't know what happens behind closed doors because i'm only just compiling the stuff i need to start sending things out. i'll no doubt be running suicide blonde through another round of edits/cuts before it goes anywhere) are that you take your manuscript and your publishing materials and send them off to agents. publishing materials, which can be researched independently because real writing instructors will break them down better than me, typically include a query letter (basically, 5 second synopsis on ur book, the word count, genre, intended audience, etc, meant to bait an agent), a synopsis (slightly longer explanation of your book and it's major plot points, including a spoiled ending), and the amount of your manuscript they're interested in reading in their first pass. i was talking about this yesterday, i believe, but they'll usually ask you to paste anything from the first 5–25 pages (i haven't seen anything more extensive than the first three chapters) of your manuscript into the email body. the agent who receives your email will then read your query letter, synopsis, and manuscript sample (sometimes, they just ask for the letter, sometimes a varying combo of things) and, if they like your stuff, they'll request the full manuscript. then, if they like that, they'll offer you representation. if they don't, you'll get a rejection. (but still promising, because your materials interested them. either there ended up being a weakness in the manuscript or it just wasn't what they were looking for.) if you never hear back about asking for a full manuscript, it's safe to say its a silent rejection. you'll usually never hear back from an agent unless they're interested. and you can find agents on online databases. there, they'll say what types of manuscripts they're looking for. never send your fantasy book to a guy looking for nonfiction unless u want an automatic negative. and, usually, don't send your stuff to more than one agent from a company at a time. and never ever send anything in that they didn't ask for. if they wanted just a query letter and five pages, do not send them a query, 2-page synopsis, and the first three chapters because "my story doesn't get good until then." you'll get an automatic rejection and the question from many authors that, if your book doesn't get good until page 24, why you didn't start your book as of page 24.

but, say you do get an offer and all those logistics sorted out, it's the agent who is then responsible for taking your manuscript to various publishing houses and trying to find the best deal possible for your novel. many agents are career-long partners and most agents, if not all, want to secure the best deal for you, because if you don't get paid, they don't get paid. they will never see a dime for your work until you do. everything else is a little hazy for me because i haven't gotten there yet, but once things get picked up by a publisher and contracts are signed, books go through edits, design, production, etc, all so it will end up on a little bookshelf and hopefully in some happy reader's hands.

3.) do some never get published?

absolutely. yep! never. some books never get an agent (and agents are typically needed if you want to get anywhere, especially the big 5 american/NY publishing houses) and therefore will never get the chance for traditional publication. and some get picked up, but die somewhere in the process, and never make it to publication. that's why it's important (and i'm in the middle of breaking these rules, so i will be panicking about suicide blonde later, partially why i'm interested in writing a shorter standalone novel rn) to sort of write a novel, particularly debut/first novels that apply to the standards of the genre. for example, if you have a straight up, trope-driven romance, it MUST categorically have a happy ending and should probably fall within 70-90k. when you're an established career author, you have soooo much more flexibility to be like, fuck that, here's my 115k romance, but...that's a pro of having sway. by that time, you've demonstrated to publishers that you can sell a book, so they're much more likely to allow you to depart from genre/publishing conventions.

but, yes, some never get published. or, or, not right away. for example, people might have written four books before one ends up getting picked up. those other three dormant ones are referred to as trunked novels. often times, publishers like the idea of trunked novels, as it shows that you're not a one-trick pony who can only write this singular story. and, often times, a writer can publish that fourth book and then pull out those other three novels, re-examine them, and possibly publish them. for many authors, their debut novel that the world sees is often not the first book they wrote.

so there are a lot of anxieties, and i understand them all. legitimately, i do. that is why i would advise that, unless you are wealthy or have somebody willing and able to support you while you pursue your novel-writing career full-time, that you should always pursue another career to bring in money to support you while you write. it doesn't mean go to law school (unless that's your jam) and be a lawyer and never write again because at least you'll be guaranteed to bring home the big bucks, it just means find something you like enough to fill your days and pay your bills and use your free time to devote to your true passion until hopeful publication happens and your circumstances witness potential changes. tiktok/booktok, as much as i bash it, has also opened up a lot of opportunity for self-published work and writers too, so that is always an option and one that absolutely shouldn't be frowned upon. the trad publishing industry is known for being oversaturated with white, straight, cis writers as it is, so many POC, LGBT+ writers often have to take routes like self-publishing. it's not a bad thing, it's not a sign that you're a lower quality writer, and it does give you complete creative control over your own novel (i just recommend forking up enough to pay for a thorough, professional edit and get good at marketing yourself.)

i would never call writing/authoring a silly/unrealistic dream, it's just one that's not immediately available for many people and one that needs to be worked toward. so while you may need to push it to the side, it doesn't mean it's not there. like i said, scores and scores of writers wrote phenomenal books in their brief, squeezed moments of downtime. i've picked a full-time job, i have no other choice, and yet i make time to write because i love and prioritize it. things like children and other commitments might compromise this, but it's not something i contend with, so it's worth keeping in mind! use the free time while you have it and see what happens. even if i never get published, i'll never stop writing simply because i love it so much. if i die with a trunk of novels, then i die with a trunk of novels, but it's a sign i did with my life what made me happy, even if not successful.

so i rambled and am too lazy to go back to check for typos, so hopefully this was helpful and transparent and helped demystify things a bit! thanks for the encouragement and faith too!! please know that i go through moments of crisis and hopelessness literally every day, but i will persevere, and so will you !! (and u did not come off rudely at all, and if you have more questions, i'm always here <3)