#foxes and fate shorts

[cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga]

けも耳沖田さん by にごり

[scifriskyxy]

Afterwork incident || Fated Shadows AU

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It was another pretty uneventful evening. Shadow got from work early after a long week, as his boss thought he deserved a long break from the good work he did.

He put down his bag as he walked towards the kitchen to check the fridge for some water as he closed the fridge he heard a noice coming from his room which alerted him,he stared at the slightly opened door for a bit on high alert ,a cough was heard,he cautiously walked closer wary of the potential squatter in his room,he peeked through the cracked door just to find a horrid scene, a friend laying injured,no signs of her coming in through the window either ,she layed on the floor face flat, "Fate!? Are you- oh f$%!-"

Shadow said in a mix of shock and concern as he swiftly entered into the room and to her to access the situation better,multiple open wounds and bruises covered her body some where healing others seemed to be on the begining stages of infection, shadow saw not far his first aid just out of reach or her ,he wasn't sure how long she had been here but he wasn't gonna let her die,so he focused on the matter at hand ,he began patching her up focusing in the more severe injuries and infected injuries first before going for the least lethal ones after ,yet a question kept creeping in the back or his mind as he tended to his dear friend:

'Who or what attacked one or the most powerful and capable fighters known to no one but a handful of people.'

[ryin-silverfish]

A Guide to the Chinese Underworld (and what it isn't)

As many FSYY and fox posts as there were on my blog, I am actually a huge fan of the Chinese Underworld mythos. Mostly because I was once a morbid little kid that loved reading about the excavations of ancient tombs, and found the statues depicting hellish torture in the Haw Par Villa "super cool".

Apart from the aesthetics, the history of its evolution is also fascinating. Most of us, Chinese or not, only know the most popular version of the Underworld——the "Ten Kings" system, yet that isn't always the case. So today, I'll start off with a short summary of that.

In pre-Qin era, there was already this generic idea of a "Realm of the Dead" called the Yellow Spring, Youdu, or Youming, but we know very little about it.

Then, in the Han dynasty, two ideas start to emerge: 1) the Underworld is a bureaucracy, 2) the God of Mt. Tai ruled over the dead.

This early bureaucracy might not function as an agent of punishment; the main focus was on keeping the dead segregated from the living so they wouldn't bring diseases and misfortune to the latter, as well as using those ghosts to enforce collective punishments upon people for their lineage's wrongdoings while they were still alive.

Post-Han, after Buddhism entered China and took root, its idea of karmic punishments and reincarnation and the figure of King Yama was merged with folk and Daoist ideas of the Underworld bureaucracy, and, came Tang dynasty, resulted in the "Ten Kings" system that first appeared in Dunhuang manuscripts.

It was very rudimentary and far from well-established, as seen in Tang legends, with some adopting the Ten Kings system, some sticking to the Lord of Mt. Tai and some favoring King Yama, and overall little agreements on who's in charge of the Underworld.

But the "Ten Kings" system would become the mainstream version from then onwards, used in Ming vernacular novels and made even more popular by folk religion scrolls like the Jade Records (Yuli Baochao).

As such, most points in the following sections will be based on the fully matured "Ten Kings" system of the Underworld, as seen in the Jade Records and JTTW.

What happens when you die?

(This is a fictionalized walkthrough of the posthumous fate of souls under the "Ten Kings" system. I try to stick to the very broad progression outlined in the Jade Records, but many creative liberties are taken on the details.)

Let's say there's a guy named Xiao Ming, and he had just died of a heart attack. Bummers. What now?

Well, the first thing he saw would be the ghost cops.

There isn't really an unanimous agreement on who these ghost cops are: they may be a pair of ghosts in white and black robes, wearing tall hats (Heibai Wuchang), they may have the heads of farm animals (Ox-Head and Horse-Face), or they can just be generic ghost bureaucrats. For convenience's sake, let's say it was the first scenario.

"Who are you guys and where are you taking me?"

"Glad you asked!" The taller ghost cop, being the cheerful one of the pair, replied. It wasn't very reassuring, considering that his tongue was dangling out of his mouth way further than it should. "I'm the White Impermanence, my sour-looking colleague here is the Black Impermanence, and we are taking you to the City God's office."

This City God, a.k.a. Chenghuang, is just like how it sounds: the divine guardian of a city, who also pulls double duty as the head of the local Dead People Customs Office. They are usually virtuous officials deified posthumously, and in JTTW, they fall under the category of "Ghostly immortals", together with the Earth Gods a.k.a. Tudi.

So Xiao Ming went with the two ghost cops——not like he had much of a choice, made his way through the long queue at the City God's office, and was now standing in front of a gruff old magistrate in traditional robes.

"Name?"

"Wang Xiao Ming."

"Age and birth dates?"

"21, April 16 2003…"

After he was done asking questions, the City God flipped through his ledger, then picked up a brush, ticked off Xiao Ming's name, and told him to go get his pass in the next room. More waiting in a queue. Wonderful.

"I never heard anything about needing a pass to get to the Underworld," the girl in front of Xiao Ming asked the ghost cops, who were standing guard nearby. "Is this a new policy or something?"

"Yeah. In the old days, we'd just drag y'all straight to the Ghost Gate." The ghost cop in black said, then muttered to himself, "Fuckin' paperworks and overpopulation, man…"

(This "Dead People Passport" thing was popularized in the middle-to-late Ming dynasty, as shown by the discovery of such documents inside tombs in southern China. )

(It might have evolved from similar passes to the Western Pure Land in lay Buddhism that recorded their acts of merits. Which, in turn, might be traced back to the "Dead People Belongings List" of Han dynasty, to be shown to Underworld bureaucrats so that no one would take away the dead's private property down there or something.)

Anyways, after he received his pass, Xiao Ming departed together with the rest of the bunch, to be led to the Ghost Gate. It was like the world's most depressing tourist group, where instead of tour guides, you got two ghost cops in funny hats, and the only scenery in sight was the desolation of the Yellow Spring Road.

They weren't the only travellers on the road, though. Xiao Ming noticed other groups moving in the far distance, behind the fog and the flickering ghostfire, led by similar figures in black and white.

It made a lot of sense; realistically, there was no way two ghost cops could fetch hundreds of thousands of dead people all by themselves.

(SEA Tang-ki mediums believed there were multiple Tua Di Ya Peks——Hokkien name for the Black and White Impermanences, working for different Underworld Courts.)

At last, the Ghost Gate stood in front of Xiao Ming, guarded by two towering figures. Normally, they'd be Ox-Head and Horse-Face, like what you see at Haw Par Villa's Underworld entrance.

However, older Han dynasty works like Wang Chong's 论衡·订鬼 also mentioned two gods, Shenshu and Yulei, as guardians of the Ghost Gate, who would use reed ropes to capture malicious ghosts and feed them to tigers, making them possibly the earliest incarnation of "Gate Gods".

So here, they were what Xiao Ming sees, standing side by side like proper doormen, silently watching herds of ghosts being funneled through the entrance.

The place was more crowded than a train station during the CNY Spring Rush; the ghost cops had already said their quick goodbye and left to fetch the next group of dead people, leaving the resident officials of the Underworld proper to maintain order and quell any would-be riots.

Now you started seeing the Ox-Head and Horse-Face guys, poking at unruly ghosts with their pitchforks and dragging away the violent ones in chains. Among their ranks were other monstrous beings, blue-faced yakshas and imps, but also regular dead humans who look 100% done with their jobs, like the lady who stamped Xiao Ming's pass when it was finally his turn.

After this point, Xiao Ming had entered the Underworld proper, and his next destination would be the First Court, led by King Qin'guang. Here, his fate should be decided by what is revealed in the King's magical mirror.

If Xiao Ming was a good guy, or someone who had done an equal amount of good and bad things in life, he'd be sent straight to the Tenth Court for reincarnation. However, if the mirror, while replaying his life events, had displayed more evil deeds than good ones, he'd be sent to one of the 2nd-9th Courts for judgment and then punished inside the Eighteen Hells.

Each of the Ten Kings was also assisted by ghostly judges. Many of them were righteous and just officials in life who had been recruited into the Ten Courts posthumously——Cui Jue from JTTW is one such example, while others were living people working part-time for the Underworld, like how Wei Zheng, Taizong's minister, works part-time for the Celestial Bureaucracy in JTTW.

We decide to be nice to Xiao Ming, so, after reliving some embarrassing childhood incidents and cringy teenage phases in front of a bunch of dead bureaucrats, he was found innocent and sent to the Tenth Court.

The queue here was almost as long as the First Court's, stretching on and on alongside of the banks of the Nai River. King of the Turning Wheel made his judgment without even lifting his head when it was Xiao Ming's turn:

"Path of Humans, male, healthy in body and mind, ordinary family. Next!"

Exiting the Tenth Court building, Xiao Ming saw the Terrace of Forgetfulness, standing tall before six bridges, made of gold, silver, jade, stone, wood, and…some unidentified material. Before he could get a good look at them and the little dots moving across those bridges, he was hurried into the Terrace by the ghostly officials.

Now, both JTTW and the Jade Records mention multiple bridges across the Nai River. In the former, there is 3, and the latter, 6. The bridges made of precious materials are for people who will reincarnate into better lives, as the wealthy, the fortunate, and the divine, while the Naihe Bridge is either the common option or the terribad shitty option.

However, the Naihe Bridge proved to be so iconic, it became THE bridge you walk across to reincarnate in popular legends.

Anyways, back to Xiao Ming. He found himself standing in a giant soup kitchen of sorts, with an old lady at the counter, scooping soup out of her steaming pot and into one cup after another.

This is Mengpo, the amnesia soup granny; according to the Jade Records, she was born in the Western Han era, and a pious cultivator who thought of neither the past nor the future, only knowing that her surname was Meng.

Made into an Underworld god by the Jade Emperor, she cooks a soup of five flavors that will wipe the memory of the dead, making sure they do not remember any of their past lives once they reincarnate.

It tastes awful. Like what you get after pouring corn syrup, coffee, chilli sauce, lemon juice and seawater into the same cup.

Such was Xiao Ming's last thought, as he gulped down the soup, and then he knew no more.

Things you should know about the Chinese Underworld:

1. It's not the Christian Hell.

Rather, the Chinese Underworld functions somewhat like the Purgatory, in that there are a lot of torment, but the torment's not eternal, however long the duration may be. Once you finish your sentence, you get reincarnated as something else, though that "something else" is not a guaranteed good birth.

Other people can also speed up the process via transferring of merits: hiring a priest/monk to chant sutras and perform rituals, for example, or performing good deeds in life in dedication to the dead, or they can pray to a Daoist/Buddhist deity to save their loved ones from a dreadful fate.

Interestingly enough, a thesis paper I read mentions that, whereas Buddhist salvation from the Hells was based on transference of merits——you give monks offerings and pay them to chant sutras, so they can cancel out the sinners' bad karma with good ones, Daoist ideas of salvation tend to involve the priest going down there, sorting it out with the Underworld officials, and taking the dead out of the Hells themselves.

(The paper also stops at the Northern-Southern and Tang dynasties, so the above is likely period-specific.)

2. Nor is it run by evil demons.

Underworld officials are not nice guys and look pretty monstrous and torture the sinful dead, but they are not the embodiment of evil. Rather, the faction as a whole is what I'd call Lawful Neutral, who function on this "An Eye for An Eye" logic, where every harm the sinner caused in life must be returned to them, in order for their karmic debts to be cleansed and move on to their next life.

They can absolutely be corrupt and incompetent and take bribes——Tang dynasty Zhiguai tales and Qing folklore compendiums featured plenty of such cases, but that's a very mundane and human kind of evil, not a cosmic/innate one.

This is just my personal opinion, but if you want to do an "evil" Chinese Underworld? It should be a very bureaucratic evil, whose leaders are bootlickers to the higher-ups, slavedrivers to their rank-and-file workers, and bullies who abuse their power over regular dead people.

Not, y'know, Satan and his infernal legions or conspiring Cthulu cultists.

3. The Ten Kings are not Hades.

Make no mistake, they still have a lot of power over your average dead mortal. But in the grand scheme of things? They are the backwater department of the pantheon, who only show up in JTTW to get pushed around and revive the occasional dead people.

When Taizong made his trip to the Underworld, the Ten Kings greeted him as equals——kings of ghosts to the king of the living. If they see themselves as equal in status to a mortal emperor, then, like any mortal emperors, they are subordinate to the Celestial Host, and the balance of power is not even remotely equal or in their favor.

Also, it isn't said outright, but under the Zhong-Lv classification of immortals JTTW is using, Underworld officials will likely be considered Ghostly immortals, the lowest and weakest of the five types, much like Tudis and Chenghuangs.

Essentially: they are ghosts that are powerful enough to not reincarnate and linger on and on, spirits of pure Yin as opposed to true immortals, who are beings of pure Yang.

It's pretty much the shittiest form of immortality, the result you get when you try to speedrun cultivation (the Zhong-Lv text also made a dig at Buddhist meditation here), and if they don't reincarnate or regain a physical body, there is no chance of progressing any further.

Oh, and fun fact? In the Song dynasty, commoners and literati elites alike believed that virtuous officials in life would get appointed as ghostly officials in death.

However, the latter viewed it as a punishment. Which was strange, considering how they still held the same position and the same amount of authority, just over dead people instead of living ones, so there should be no big losses, right?

Well...it was precisely the "dead people" part that made it a punishment. See, a lot of the power and prestige they had as officials came from the benefits they could bring to their families and kins and native places, as well as the potential wealth and reputation bonuses for themselves.

A job in the Dead People Supreme Court would give them the same workload, but with none of those benefits. Since all the dead people had to reincarnate eventually, they couldn't have a fixed group as their power base, or keep their old familial ties and connections. At most, they could help out an occasional dead relative or two.

Like, working for the Underworld Courts was the kind of deadend (no pun intended) job not even living officials wanted for themselves in the afterlife. That's how hilariously sad and pathetic they are.

4. In JTTW at least, they aren't even the highest authorities of the Underworld.

That would be Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha, who is technically their boss, though he seems to be more of a spiritual leader than someone who is actually involved in running the bureaucracy.

Which makes sense, since he has sworn an oath to not attain Buddhahood until all Hells are empty, and his role is to offer relief and salvation to the suffering souls, not judging and punishing them.

Now, historically...even though Ksitigarbha in early Tang legends was still the savior of the dead, he seemed to be unable to interfere with the judicial process of the Underworld, merely showing up to take people away before they were judged by King Yama.

However, in the mid-Tang apocryphal "Sutra of Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha" (地藏菩萨经), he had evolved into the equal of King Yama, with the power of supervision over his judgements. By the time the Scripture on the Ten Kings came out, in artistic depictions, the Ten Kings had become fully subservient to him.

5. Diyu usually refers to the prison-torture chamber part, not the courthouse, nor is it the entirety of the Underworld.

And for the majority of souls that haven't committed crimes, they'll only see the courthouse part before they are sent to reincarnation. That's why I personally don't like, or use the name Diyu for the Chinese Underworld: I prefer the term Difu ("Earth Mansions"), which encompasses the whole realm better.

Also: even though historical sources like the Scripture on the Ten Kings and Jade Records seem to suggest that the dead were just funneled through this Courthouse-Prison-Reincarnation pipeline with no breaks in between, in practice, that isn't the case.

According to popular folk beliefs, after the dead were done with their trials/sentences, they stayed in the Underworld for a period of time and led regular lives, while functioning as ancestor spirits and receiving offerings.

Which would imply that the Underworld had a civilian district of sorts, populated by regular ghosts, making the whole realm even less of a direct Hell/Purgatory equivalent.

6. It is located in a different realm, but still part of the Six Paths and doesn't exist outside of reality.

In Buddhist cosmology, like the Celestial Realm, the Underworld is part of the Realm of Desires and thus subject to all the woes of samsara.

The pain and misery of the Path of Hell may be the worst and most obvious, but becoming a celestial being isn't the goal of serious Buddhists either: despite all the pleasures and near-infinite lifespan they enjoy, they are not free from samsara and will eventually have to reincarnate.

So if, say, the world is being destroyed at the end of a kalpa, all beings of the Six Paths will perish alongside it, leaving behind a clean slate for the cycle to start anew. The dead won't all end up in the Underworld and face eternal damnation.

7. The Black and White Impermanences would not appear in the Underworld pantheon formally until the Qing dynasty.

The concept that when you die, you get fetched to the Underworld by petty ghost bureaucrats is already well-established in Tang legends, but these were just generic ghost bureaucrats in all sorts of colorful official robes, with yellow being the most common color.

The idea of there being two specific psychopomps in black and white would only become popular in the Qing dynasty. Mengpo is kinda similar: although she existed before the Ming-Qing era as a goddess of wind, venerated by boatmen, her "amnesia soup granny" incarnation came from the Jade Records.

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister) Part 2

Part 1

AN: Wow I just want to say I have been so overwhelmed by the love part one got. Thank you for all the comments! I truly cherish each one!This part is a little short, because if I end up doing two different versions (a Lucien version and an Az version) this is where they will probably split off.

If you're new here check out my masterlist!

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: so much fluff, Angst, they be fightin'

Word count: 3485

“Are you sure you want to do this?  We can fully elope if you want to.” I whisper to Lucien as we stand in front of the double oak doors to my brother's office. 

At first I was confident that we had nothing to worry about. But now that I stood here, with only an ornate piece of wood separating us from the High Lord? The nerves had started settling in.

“I’m sure, an honorable male would ask your brother's permission before wedding you, and you deserve nothing but an honorable male.” he smiled, squeezing my left hand, the one his family ring currently found its home on. 

“But what if he says-” 

“Are you seriously doubting my silver tongue right now?” he smirked, cocking an eyebrow at me. “There’s a reason I was cursed to wear a fox mask for 50 years my darling.” 

“Believe me I know all about that silver tongue,” I laughed, nudging him with my shoulder as I recalled what that silver tongue did to me last night.  

“Shall we?” he asked, donning an unbothered face. 

“We shall,” I smiled before pushing open the doors. 

Inside the ostentatious study sat my brother, with his mate perched on his desk beside him with her back facing us. He broke his love sick gaze on her to see Lucien and I standing at the end of his desk. 

“Sister…Lucien, this is a surprise,” Rhys said, fixing some papers on his desk, as if to collect the thoughts swirling inside his head as well. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t knock, that was an oversight on our part,” I laughed thinking about the thousands of compromising positions we might’ve found them in. I silently thanked the cauldron for keeping that reality at bay. 

“I was hoping I could discuss something with you,” Lucien said regally. I was so taken back by his tone I couldn’t help but look up to him, his face was nothing short of the son of a High Lord. 

The air in the room stiffened as Feyre turned around to sit on the arm of Rhys chair, I suddenly felt like I was in a fishbowl. My brother and I had always been very close, I had shared everything in my life with him, there wasn’t a story of mine he didn’t know. But he didn’t know about Lucien, and I wasn’t sure how he would react to that. 

“Of course Lucien you can speak to us about anything,” Feyre smiled warmly,  placing her hand over Rhys’ as if to calm him down.

“With all due respect Feyre this is just between Rhysand and myself,” Lucien stated with the utmost respect, yet I still nudged his foot in warning. 

Rhys shifted in his seat a bit, placing his hand on Feyre’s hip, “Anything you have to say to me you can also say to my mate Vanserra.” 

This was not going according to plan. 

“Well, you see,” Lucien looked at me and I gave him a subtle nod to continue. “Y/n and I have been seeing each other for quite sometime now-” 

“And by seeing each other you mean?” Rhys interjected. 

Lucien cleared his throat, “We’re all adults here Rhysand I-” 

“You mean to tell me you’ve been fucking my sister?!” Rhys growled and I swear the mountains stirred in the distance. 

“Rhys calm down!” I shout but Feyre speaks up first. 

“How long has this been going on for?” Feyre asks, calmly. Her voice seemingly caused Rhys to lower his hackles. 

“Since Starfall,” Lucien answered truthfully. 

“Dammit I owe Cassian money,” she cursed looking at the door of the adjacent room. 

Rhys turned to look at his mate bewildered, “you had suspicions and you didn’t tell me?” he gasped. 

“Well Cassian thought they were going to hookup that starfall but I said there was no way,” Feyre said seemingly disappointed she lost a bet. 

“Guys?” I probe, turning both of their attentions back to us.

“What I’m trying to say is I admire your sister very much Rhysand, and I would like to ask for your permission for her hand in marriage,” Lucien said, giving my hand a squeeze. 

Feyre looked to Lucien, “But Elain is your mate?” she asks, confused. 

“And Azriel is yours y/n,” Rhys reminded me. 

“Come on Rhys, it’s been 400 years. If the bond was going to snap it would’ve happened by now. Azriel doesn’t want me.” I say honestly, and for the first time, the words don’t sting as much as they normally do. 

Lucien picks up my train of thought, “And Elain has made it perfectly clear that she wants nothing to do with me.” he says to Feyre, who gives him an apologetic glance.

I look over to see Lu smiling down at me, “We’ve been spending a lot of time together, and we get along well. I’m at my happiest when I’m with him,” I smile back at him before turning to my brother and Feyre once more. “Lucien is a good male, he’s kind and he takes care of me. I think we could make eachother really happy.” 

Lucien tugs on my hand to bring my attention back to him, “And y/n is a beautiful, smart, and charming woman. Any male would be lucky to call her his wife, including me.” his lips curl upward, and I can’t tear my gaze away from him. 

I had begged the Cauldron all my life to bring someone into my life who would choose me. I used to think that person was Azriel, but after all my years of flirting with him and trying to get the bond to snap I was only ever met with nothing. Yet here Lucien was, standing in my brother's office, saying I choose you. 

Feyre’s voice broke my train of thought and pulled both of our attentions, “Aww, Rhys they're so sweet,” she beamed grasping onto my brother's arm. 

Just like I had prophesied, I saw my brother's hard exterior melting under the ‘ooos’ and ‘ahhhs’ of his beloved High Lady. He stood from his desk and I felt Lu tense beside me as we both waited with bated breath for what the High Lord was going to say next. 

“Lucien Vanserra,” he said, holding out his hand. “Welcome to the family.” 

The tension in the air dissipated as everyone in the room smiled, Feyre was practically jumping for joy. Lucien gave Rhys a firm handshake over his desk and I could see that while the proposal was unexpected for my brother, he wasn’t unhappy. He knew just as well as I did that Lucien was a good male, that he would be good to me. 

“Oh we need to start shopping for dresses right now! I’ll grab Mor and Nesta and we can go out! We’re going to need a cake too!” Feyre squealed, hugging me tightly. 

“Uhh that’s the other thing,” I said hesitantly, not wanting to step on my sister-in-law's happiness. “We didn’t want a big wedding.” 

“We actually wanted to elope, and we want you two to be our witnesses.” Lucien picked up my sentence.

“Oh of course we will,” Feyre smiled looking at both of us before wrapping her arm around Rhys. 

Rhys looked more troubled than he did moments ago, like the idea of an elopement didn’t sit right with him. However if he did feel that way, he didn’t voice it. Not when the idea seemed to excite Feyre so. 

“When is the date?” Feyre inquired. 

I looked to Lucien who was already looking to me for an answer. We had never given the date a thought. I shrugged my shoulders at him, hoping he might take the lead. His eyes twinkled with mischief, it was that same look he gave me before he did something like wipe whipped cream on my nose or use his flames to singe my bum as he slapped it.

“The day after tomorrow,” he said with certainty. 

“The day after tomorrow?” the whole room gawked. 

Lu turned back to me, “Yes. We’ve never been conventional, why start now,” he gushed giddy with infectious excitement. 

I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face, “Okay,” I giggled. “the day after tomorrow.”

He leaned down to scoop me up in his arms spinning me around the room, Feyre’s laughter and my own bouncing off the ornate wood paneled walls. 

“But what will you wear?” Feyre asked, seemingly trying to figure out something in her head already. 

I pondered the idea myself before it hit me like a ton of bricks, “Oh I can wear mothers dress!” I exclaimed looking at Rhys.

“I’m sure that’s what she would’ve wanted,” Rhys smiled, tossing his arm around his excited wife. 

We parted ways with the promise of seeing them later this evening at family dinner. An event I typically despised, but now? Things didn’t seem so dull. I was walking in with my fiance, instead of alone. 

Lucien and I ran down the hallways hand in hand, laughing like teenagers getting away with sneaking out. 

“I can’t believe I just did that,” he laughed, backing me against a wall. 

“Did what?” I ask, out of breath from running. 

He leaned in close to my ear, “Told your brother how thoroughly I’ve been fucking you,” he smirks pressing a kiss beneath my ear. 

“Well you didn’t use language that graphic,” I snicker while playing with the ends of his hair. 

He pulls his head back from my neck to give me that mischievous look again, “I can always go back in there and tell him,” he teases. 

“Or…” I say low in his ear, “you could just show me.” I say suggestively. 

Lu’s lips curl upward brushing against the shell of my ear, “You little minx!” he growls hoisting me up, earning a squeal from me. 

“You are beautiful and amazing and charming and you are going to be my wife,” he gushes, placing a kiss on my lips for every tender word. 

Lu smiles at me before titling my chin up to meet his lips, the kiss warm and sweet. His hands pull my waist closer to him, and I bring my own from his chest to loop around his neck. He presses his forehead. 

This was the start of a new chapter, one where I was somebody’s first choice. One where I was chosen and loved. One where I didn’t come home to an empty home, or show up to solstice parties without a date. One where I had someone to kill the spiders in the house for me, one where I was chosen. 

As Lucien held me close to him, I could sense he felt all the same things too. It was a new start for both of us. A chance to be happy. 

That evening after much celebration from Lucien and I that involved some time between the sheets…and the shower… and the living room floor…we finally dressed for dinner. 

Dinner with the family was typically a laid back affair, it was the one time a week we could all see one another. Rhys would even make sure no one had any assignments during that time so that there were no interferences. My dress was nice yet laid back, nothing like what I would wear for starfall or a ball. 

Lucien came up behind me as I put on my earrings in the stand up mirror.

“You look lovely, my wife looks lovely,” he said, taking the earring back from my hand to place it on himself. Kissing my bare shoulder in the process. 

“I’m not your wife yet,” I smile, turning in his arms. 

“Maybe so but you’re going to be,” he reminds me, kissing my nose. 

“The day after tomorrow,” I say 

“The day after tomorrow,” he repeats back. “Now let’s go before our tardiness causes your brother to call off the wedding.” 

I laugh taking his hand and walking down the townhouse steps into the brisk night air. I checked to see that I had moved my impromptu engagement ring to my right hand before we got too far away. While I was excited about marrying Lu it was important to me that the wedding stay an elopement.  I wasn’t sure how the rest of the family would react. Despite our good humor and book swapping, Nesta may choose to rip off my head for taking her sister’s mate and who knew how Cassian might feel about me marrying a Vanserra, even if it was Lucien. 

As Lu held open the gate to the townhouse for me, the same way he did on starfall a year ago. I was sure that I had made the right choice. Not just in my future life partner, but in keeping the engagement secret for just a few days more. 

The family gathered around the table, each one of them placing a dish in the center to be shared. During dinners we didn’t like to have the maids do all the work, per the request of the Archeron sisters. They said it felt more homey if we all pitched in on the work and they were right. Lu and I parted ways and I gave Feyre and Nesta a warm hug before continuing to set the table. It seemed everyone was in high spirits as even when I passed by Rhys to lay down the potatoes he gave me a kiss on the forehead. 

Maybe everyone was in a good mood for once, or maybe things just seemed lighter because I didn’t walk in here by myself tonight. 

Dinner moved quickly, and Lucien sat next to me as he normally did, both of us thick as thieves kicking each other's feet all night. It was impossible to keep such a happy secret from the family, but it was also insanely fun. Every now and then I caught a knowing glance from Rhys or Feyre. But whenever Rhys looked at me his next glance was always to Azriel, who didn’t seem to suspect a thing.

When the meal was over we all took our goblets of wine and moved to the living room to drink, laugh and tell war stories, as we always did. Normally this was when I would make some half-assed excuse as to why I had to leave. The last thing I wanted to see was a bunch of mated couples all over each other. My heart still panged as Elain chose to sit on the arm of Azriel’s chair, but it was lightened by the brush of Lucien’s fingers against the back of my head as he went to sit across the room next to Rhys and Feyre. 

It wasn’t until Cassian started talking about going to war with the Valkyries for the one millionth time that I decided that I definitely needed more wine for this story. So I stood and marched my way into the kitchen with the promise of bringing back a couple bottles for everyone. 

The walk-in wine cellar in the kitchen was cold, so when I turned around with two bottles in hand and bumped into a very warm chest I nearly yelped. 

“Shhh it’s just me,” Lucien grinned, taking the two bottles from my hand to place on the counter beside us. 

“Lu you scared the shit out of me,” I say in a hushed tone as he hoists me onto the countertop. 

“I’m tired of watching them all cuddle up to one another in there, I want to cuddle up to you as well,” he smirked, placing kisses all over my neck. 

“Down boy,” I giggle, acting like I don’t feel the exact same way. I feel his lips curl against my skin as I run my hands through his hair.

“This is only going to get worse once you’re my wife,” he smiles, placing a slow kiss on my lips. 

“WIFE?!” 

I whip my head around from where I’m sitting on the counter to see Azriel standing in the doorway, a look of pure betrayal written all over his face. Lucien’s hands found my waist pulling me off the counter so that my feet were firmly on the floor. 

“You’re marrying him?!” Azriel shouts again and suddenly a smaller figure appears behind him, swathed in light pink and roses. 

“He’s my mate you can’t just take him,” Elain exclaims, seemingly coming into her own. 

I immediately see red at her words, completely disregarding Azriel in the room. Elain who wouldn’t give Lucien the time of day. Elain who knowingly entered an unethical relationship with Azriel and flaunted it. Elain who barely glanced at the pearl earrings Lucien had bought her for solstice. She had the gall to claim him, after the way she treated him.   

“Take him?” I scoff. “You don’t even want him.” I shout back, the words coming off a little harsher than expected. 

“She’s right y/n, Lucien is her mate,” Azriel interjected looking down at me, as if this situation didn’t benefit him in every way. Gods he would just do anything to make that girl happy. 

“That’s deft coming from you shadowsinger,”  Lucien snickered disdainfully, cocking his head at the spymaster. 

Azriel bristled, “What's that supposed to mean?” he snarled. 

I put a hand on Lucien’s chest to get him to back down, “It doesn’t matter, we’re happy. Is it really your mission to make everyone in this court miserable but yourself Elain?”

“HEY!” Azriel barked, taking a step towards me, his shadows rising behind him. 

Before he can get a step closer Lucien grabs his arm, “Easy,” he hissed, but Azriel’s eyes didn’t leave my scared form. 

Never in my life had Azriel raised his voice at me in such a manner. While I wanted to say I was unphased, the outburst had scared me.  As soon as he noticed my reaction to his behavior, a realization seemed to dawn on him, and he quickly stepped back.

“You’re taking my mate, was there a way I was supposed to react?” Elain sneered just as snarky as ever, as if this was just a cat fight among the females. 

The red I saw turned to crimson as I realized once more what she was doing. She didn’t want Lucien because she loved him. She wanted him because she felt entitled to him, she wanted both of them. My mate and hers. 

“You take my mate, I’ll take yours!” I seethed the words spilling out of me like venom, unstoppable and poisonous to those in the room. 

Elain’s eyes widened and I realized that the secret that I had kept for 400 years had finally come out. My stomach dropped and my blood ran cold, the world around me fading away as I discerned what I had done.  

“What did you just say?” Azriel said in disbelief, my eyes flitted over to his. 

Anger and hurt flashed in his golden eyes. I didn’t know what to say. Couldn’t know what to say. I had never prepared for this. 

“Azriel I-” 

“I’m your mate?!” he sneered, his voice tinged with malice.

 I felt a scarred hand grip my upper arm as if to winnow me away but Lucien was on Azriel in an instant gripping his arm right back. 

“Get your hands off my wife,” he growled, raising his own metaphorical hackles. 

“By the looks of it she’s not your wife yet. But apparently she’s my mate so I will handle her however I please,” Azriel said, getting up in Lu’s face, but to Lucien’s credit he didn’t back down.

It was as if after 400 years the bond snapped for Az. And every urge that came with that bond had snapped in place with it. The worst part of it all was that I didn’t know how to feel.   

“That may be true but I won’t allow you to touch her in anger,” Lucien stated glowering at the shadowsinger. 

Elain and I remained speechless and unmoving as Rhysand slid into the kitchen eyes ablaze at the scene before him. 

“What the fuck is going on?” he bellowed as he saw Azriel gripping me and Lucien gripping him. 

“It seems that Lucien has decided to wed my mate,” Azriel said with a smooth calm that sounded more like a warning shot. 

“You treat her as if she was-” Lucien snarled back before Rhys cut him off. 

“That’s enough!” he shouted and it was enough for both males to let go. “All of you get out of my sight and simmer down. We can talk about this when you can behave like adults!”

I think to protest my brother's orders, but he shoots me a glare so cold, so unyielding that I find myself sinking into Lucien’s embrace. I look to Azriel who wears his disappointment in me unnervingly well before winnowing both Lucien and I back home. 

to be continued...

Part 3

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[yoonia]

© Yoonia, 2016-2024. All rights reserved. — Unauthorized use and/or duplication of these works, including reposting, translating and modification in any form, is strictly prohibited | if you are under 18, please refrain from entering the restricted sections

key: angst ✵ | fluff ✿ | smut ♡  series: ongoing ✎ | hiatus ☽ | completed ✓

⇝— updated: Sept 11th, 2024 ⇝— fic archive 2016-2019 .｡.✰ ⇝— work in progress & writing schedule .｡.✰

𝐛𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ✩·.¸

About Time (Time Leap!au, Soulmate!au) | Jungkook x reader x Jimin (feat. ot7) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✎ ➛ Summary | Be careful of what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true.     ↪ Chapter masterlist

The Bedroom Hymns (a Bluebeard tale's twist; fairytale retelling au, fairy prince!yoongi, princess!reader, soulmate!au) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✎ ➛ Summary | Haunted by the questions about your father’s past and the dark tales that seem to follow him, the thousand mysterious doors and the secrets waiting for you to reveal, and the mysterious Prince that has been following your shadows between realms, you are off to a new adventure in the Land Far Far Away.    ↪ Chapter masterlist

Blood Moon Rising (Supernatural!au, Vampire!au, Werewolves!au) | Jimin x reader (feat. ot7) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✎ ➛ Summary | What happens when the only people you have put your trust in only repay you with betrayal?     ↪ The Shifters Series masterpost

Carousel (Arranged Marriage!au, CEO!au, Heirs!au) | Min Yoongi x reader (feat. ot7) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓ ➛ Summary | He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family's future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out.     ↪ Chapter masterlist

In Motion (Masturbation Club!au) | Jungkook x reader | ✿ ♡ ✓ ➛ Summary | The rule is simple; you can look but you can’t touch.     ↪ Chapter masterlist

𝐛𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢-𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ✩·.¸ 

Flux (Min Yoongi x reader x Jeon Jungkook) | Polyamorous!au | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✎ ➛ Premise | A collection of short stories about the journey of finding and learning about love, life, and trust.     ↪ Chapters masterlist

Red Series (Min Yoongi) | Secrets of Pleasure | ✿ ♡ ✎ ➛ Premise | A collection of short stories between Yoongi and his lover (reader insert) which will tell a tale of their sexual adventures together.    ↪ Chapters masterlist

𝐨𝐭𝟕 & 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 ☽.·✩·.¸

Slow Dancing (M) - Jungkook x reader; Namjoon x reader | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓ mini-series; soulmate!au, second chances!au ⇢ When fate has some tricks hidden in its sleeve      ↪ Chapter List 

28 Days (M) - Taehyung x reader; Jungkook x reader | ✵ ✿ ♡ ☽ mini-series; slice of life!au; unrequited love!au; first love!au ⇢ When you let yourself get entangled in your own little lies    ↪ chapters: (under construction)

Ravished By Two (M) - Seokjin x reader x Namjoon | ✿ ♡ one-shot; werewolves!au; polyamorous!au | 5k words ⇢ Mated to your Alphas mean that you have to submit to their every need

Threads (M) - Yoongi x reader; Namjoon x reader | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; slice of life!au; one-sided love!au; arranged relationship!au; 7k words ⇢ When life throws you a curve ball, leaving you with dark secrets to bury

The Agile Fox (M) - Yoongi x original character x Jungkook | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; supernatural!au, werewolf!jungkook, werefox!yoongi, werefox!oc | 52k words; part of Shifter Series ⇢ Sometimes the Fates can play tricks on you

Bed & Boyfriend(s) (M) - Taehyung x reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | ✿ ♡ one-shot; pwp; Polyamorous!au; 16k words ⇢ A long weekend filled with wanton pleasure with the help of his best friends

Sweet Temptations (M) - Taehyung x reader x Jungkook | ♡ one-shot; brothel!au; male escort!au; 20k words ⇢ Welcome to House Of Lust, where your escorts will be there to provide you with every need

Ever a Never After - Jungkook x female reader; Seokjin x female reader | ✿ ♡ adaptation from Enchanted movie; strangers to lovers!au; fairy tale retelling!au, Smut ⇢ Stuck between two different realms, two different lives, and a chance to write your own happily ever after, would you take it?

𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤𝐣𝐢𝐧 ☽.·✩·.¸

Cinnamon Bliss (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓ mini-series; single father!Jin, cafe owner!reader, unrequited love!au ⇢ When you share the journey of finding the path to healing and re-finding love again     ↪ Chapter List 

Of Bears And Bonds (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓ trilogy/mini-series; supernatural!au, werebear!Jin, witch!reader | part of Shifter Series ⇢ When you find your past, present, and future are all linked together with your fated ↪ chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 (end)

Blurred Lines (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓ trilogy/mini-series; teacher!Jin, teacher!reader, biker!Jin ⇢ People do say that the quiet ones always keep the biggest secret ↪ chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 (end)

Mistakes and Retakes (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; christmas rom-com; enemy to lovers!au; Part of the Stranded for Christmas Collab; 18,5k words ⇢ When your archenemy becomes your saviour

𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢 ☽.·✩·.¸

Clair De Lune (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; pianist!yoongi, escort!reader; 23k words ⇢ You were ready to leave a part of your life to move on to the next, and he is willing to give you a chance to end it glamorously

Pour Some Sugar On Me (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; enemies to lovers!au; baker!au; baker!yoongi; baker!reader; 14k words ⇢ When he shows you how baking and taste testing can be delightfully messy

Little Do You Know (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; artist/music producer!yoongi; established relationship!au; 22k words ⇢ With love, comes challenge. But what do you have to do to hold on? 

Bad Things (M) | ✵ ♡one-shot; brothel!au; street fighter!yoongi; sex worker/escort!reader; past lovers!au; 14k words ⇢ He always comes to you when he needs you to douse his flame, not knowing that he is keeping yours alight with his touch

Come Undone (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; established relationship!au, BDSM; 14k words ⇢ When your little surprise to please him backfires and he turns the tide against you instead

𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤 ☽.·✩·.¸

✎ 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 01. Intertwine (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; slice of life!au; past lovers!au, office!au; infidelity; 12k words 02. Tidal Waves (M)| ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; slice of life!au; past lovers!au, office!au; infidelity

✎ 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 01. Spotless Minds (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; past lovers!au; new beginning; inspired by Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Minds; 36k words 02. Eternal Sunshine (M) | ✷ ✿ ♡ one-shot; past lovers!au; new beginning; epilogue for Spotless Minds; 39k words 03. Sunset Glow (coming soon)

𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧 ☽.·✩·.¸

The Stand-In (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot & drabble series; friends to lovers!au, post divorce/failed marriage!au; expecting parents!au; 13k words ⇢ He is ready to help with your situation in more ways than one      ↪ Fic Index

Once Upon An Us (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; past lovers!au, exes to lovers!au, christmas rom-com; 47k words ⇢ When the fairy tale ending that you had been searching for had always been there the entire time

Lust Royale (M) | ✵ ♡ one-shot; royal guard!namjoon, princess!reader, unrequited love!au; 8k words ⇢ When you cannot resist falling into his temptation

The (im)Perfect Ending (M) | ✵ ♡ one-shot; past relationship!au, infidelity; 43k words ⇢ When you are given a second chance to rewrite your own happy ending

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧 ☽.·✩·.¸

Strip! (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓trilogy/mini-series; stripper!jimin, bartender!reader; single parent!au; spin-off for Bad For You ⇢ Sometimes a little bit of fun brings colours to your hard life, but what if he is here to stay?      ↪ chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 (End)

All Fervent Manner (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; established Relationship!au; 19k words ⇢ When you share the same secret, and neither of you could let the other know what you need the most

✎ 𝗙𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 01. Never Falling (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; enemies to lovers!au; singer!jimin; non-idol!au; assistant!reader; 21k words 02. Forever Falling (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; established relationship!au; singer!Jimin; non-idol!au; 30k words 03. Free Falling (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; established relationship!au; singer!Jimin; non-idol!au; 22k words

𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠 ☽.·✩·.¸

White Lies (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓ mini-series; childhood friends to lovers!au, first love!au, painter!taehyung ⇢ When his secrets came in your way to bare threats in the future you were building together     ↪ Chapter List

The Half-Lycan (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot & drabble series; supernatural!au; werewolf!taehyung, human!reader; 42k words; part of Shifter Series ⇢ The long journey of how the fated mates finally found each other     ↪ drabbles: Fever // Rapture

The Forsaken (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; supernatural!au; siren!taehyung; mystery; horror; 22k words ⇢ When his seducing voice lures you into falling in his embrace

The Dark Room (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; sex club!au; gentlemen club!au; 19k words; Side Story for In Motion⇢ Welcome to Club La Rouge, where your sexual fantasies come to life

A Christmas Fix (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ two-shot; Secret Baby!au, Second Chance!au, Strangers to Lovers!au; 55k words; Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration ⇢ The one-night stand that changed the course of your fate, along with your stepsister's ↪ chapters: 01 | 02 (final)

𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 ☽.·✩·.¸

Bad For You (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; stripper!jungkook; bachelorette!au; infidelity; 11k words ⇢ His whole presence emits sin and danger     ↪ Fic Index ↪ drabbles: ⇢ #1 // #2

Undressed (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; stripper!jungkook; bachelorette!au, infidelity; 20k words; Epilogue for Bad For You ⇢ He was the epitome of sin, yet he pulled you in that you just had to come back for more

Pay By Play (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; cam boy!au; Voyeurism; part of the Made With Love Project; 3k words ⇢ It is your first try to do something like this and he is making it all worth it

We Are All Dreamers [M] | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; enemies to lovers!au; soulmate!au; 16k words ⇢ When he tries to rebel against the soulmate system

Boyfriend Jungkook drabble #01 | ✿mini drabble; boyfriend!Jungkook ⇢ When he wants a taste of your ice cream

Slow & Steady [M] | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; painter!jungkook; 7k words ⇢ Can you resist temptation?

Show Me Something [M] | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; road trip!au, friends to enemies to lovers!au; first love!au; 51k words ⇢ When the extra passenger opens the pathway to your broken past

A Touch Of Fate (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ one-shot; enemies to lovers!au; soulmate!au; 9k words; Epilogue for We Are All Dreamers ⇢ When he shows you just how good you are together

Under The Blankets (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; established relationship!au, pwp smut, tattooed!Jungkook x tattooed!reader; 6k words ⇢ When neither of you can resist temptation

Mirrors: what becomes of us (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; friends with benefits to lovers!au, pwp smut; 8,5k words ⇢ Is it worth it to fall for someone who has never revealed the true content of his heart?

𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐮 ☽.·✩·.¸

Chance Encounter (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✎ series; college!au; teacher’s aid!au ⇢ What a simple DM mishap could lead to happen     ↪ Chapter List

Maps (M) | ✵ ✿ ♡ ✓ mini-series; friends to lovers!au ⇢ Naps, Christian Yu, your bed – would you ask for anything more?     ↪ Chapters:  01 | 02 | 03 (final)

Take Care Of You (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; pwp smut; established relationship; 2k words ⇢ Helping your boyfriend to relax after long nights of working

Unravel (M) | ✿ ♡ drabble; pwp smut; established relationship ⇢ He loves how easy it is to have you unravelling under his touch

𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐢𝐧 ☽.·✩·.¸

Sweet Spot (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; established relationship; 6k words ⇢ When his jealousy makes him more daring than he is used to

Press Play (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; established relationship; 3k words ⇢ When he has an odd request for you to fulfil

What You Wanted (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; established relationship; 10k words ⇢ When he makes sure that your first time would be an amazing experience to share

Overdrive (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; musician/artist!B.I, manager!reader, smut; 13k words ⇢ When your carnal favours lead to something else

𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 ☽.·✩·.¸

✎ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 (𝐤𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐤)  ● Howlin’ (M) | ✵ ♡ one-shot; werewolf!au; fated mates!au; 6k words ⇢ When your responsibility to the Pack life comes between your Fated

✎ 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜 ● Simon Says (M) | ✿ ♡ one-shot; pwp smut; established relationship; 4k words ⇢ Simon wants to play

✎ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐥 ● A Night With You | ✿ ♡ (implied) mini drabble; boyfriend!Chanyeol ⇢ A glimpse of the nights you spend with him

— © Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind, translations, unsanctioned adaptations are not allowed.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

You don’t get to tell me about sad

Next chapter

a/n: blame TTPD for this… idk why I keep doing this to myself.

summary: Azriel gets an assignment he can’t seem to decline. Now he has a princess full of attitude under his protection. The only question is whose cold heart will break first.

warnings: past trauma, mean people, age gap but everyone is of age so calm down.

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Azriel wasn’t sure who or what he was blaming for the situation that was unfolding. He could blame Rhys, who had put him on this duty. Could blame himself. He had been sloppy during his last assignment and nearly died in the middle of it. Meaning that he had to knock it down a tad. Just until he was fully recovered. And then he could raise his middle fingers at fate. Because she was laughing at him now. He should have just stayed put for a couple more months. Keep it to himself that he was itching to do something. Not sit there practically begging for an assignment. Well, now he dug his own grave, and he was forced to lay in it. 

Letting out a deep sigh, Azriel pushes back from the outside wall. Fluttering his wings a couple of times. A short-term thing, Rhys had said when he slipped the document onto the table. It had taken one glance for Azriel to feel the bitter taste in his mouth. But he hated saying no. Even if babysitting wasn’t on his list of duties.

"Ah, sir, it’s so lovely to see you. It is an honor to have the shadowsinger in our presence," an unfamiliar voice pulled him out of his thoughts, making Azriel’s head spin to the side. He had truly been just standing outside the villa for way too long. “Azriel will do just fine," he breathes out, turning to who he assumed was one of the servants. The sweet older man smiles, “I assume you are here to see the high lord." There’s no bitterness in his voice, and there's a true sense of pride there. “Unfortunately...", Azriel grunts, making the male practically gasp under his breath before he quickly pulls himself together. A fake version of the smile he had given Azriel, now neatly plastered on his face, “This way, please.”

Azriel doesn’t let his eyes wander as he walks through the halls. They were never familiar to him, and he doesn’t plan on changing that ever. So he strides along with the servant, wishing he could walk just a little faster. But by the sudden sharp turn, Azriel is quick to realize that no one is taking him to the belly of the beast. A side sunroom. That almost makes Azriel smile. He liked that he wasn’t trusted enough to be greeted in the main office. 

"Azriel," a voice that never failed to make Azriel frown, greets him as soon as the wooden door opens. "Eris," Azriel says, fixing his eyes on the male in front of him. A male who looked surprisingly awful. Eris loved looking good and not letting others see the real thing hiding behind the fox mask. "Sit," the new high lord gestured to the plush armchair, but Azriel shakes his head, “I rather not.” Eris lets out a sigh. “I’m sure you’ve seen the request," he says, rubbing a hand over his chin. “Bald of you to request anything truthfully," Azriel crosses his arms over his chest. A slight smile tugs at the fireling lips, “Maybe I like stooping low from time to time.” 

But Azriel refused to let on, “You hid her. You went behind the law." That was the first thing he had said to Rhys as well. But, of course, there were exceptions for the royal families even there. “I didn’t hide her," and here it was in that much firmer tone, one that always jumped out when one accused Eris of anything, “Beron did. Used her to control me. Too many souls know that she is a weak link”, “Surprised you didn’t just leave her by the border the way you did with Mor" Azriel cut in, letting that bubbling frustration ooze out. Even if he had promised himself he wouldn’t stoop so low, “She was also a weak link, wasn’t she?”, he jabbed, making Eris clench his fists. From the fire burning in his eyes, Azriel knew that the bite back would be as lethal as it probably would have been if not for the noise outside the room. The sound of feet and a figure practically falling through the door. 

"Eris," the voice was breathless, notes of laughter still on it. Tapping of the paws followed suit. As two hounds brushed past the folds of your skirt, rushing towards their true owner, "Eris, look..." your voice hitched as your eyes landed on Azriel. His face remained as cold as it was before, but he had to admit it. Azriel was waiting to see a scrawny girl. Not a young and mature female. Sharp autumn features. And those breathtaking green eyes...

“Oh, I...”, you quickly lowered your head, “I will come by later," but before you didn’t even turn, before Eris grunted, “No, come in, YN." You blinked a couple of times, clearly confused as to why you might be needed here. “What’s going on?", the question was practically a whisper as you wiped the dirt-covered hands on the skirt that looked nothing like the kind a princess should wear. 

“There will be changes happening," Eris said, placing his hands on the table, “You’ve been misbehaving." A light chuckle slipped past your lips. “What?" you breathed, shaking your head. “I do not have the patience nor time to run after you," the high lord said, waving his hand in the air. And that was all it took to make your shoulders droop. Your big eyes staring back at your brother, but Azriel sensed the shift in your energy. He saw the twitch in Eris’s hands, but he didn’t back down. “The spymaster will be taking you with him. You’re to behave accordingly,", “I will not go anywhere with that… tree of a man," you hissed, pointing to Azriel, who almost laughed at the insult. If one could even call it that. “What is this nonsense you’re weaving?”, you stepped forward, demanding an answer. 

“Mind your tone, young lady," Eris growled, pointing a warning finger at you. The room grew quiet. You could hear the flickering of the candles. A heartbeat. One, two, three. “I will stay in my room; I won’t go anywhere, I promise," you begged. Desperation. A nice weapon. But Azriel doubted that it would work on Eris. “You said that the last time and then proceeded to sneak out with Makoa."  Eris reached for the glass bottle, pulling a glass out. He had already settled on his decision, and he was showing you just that. “That was one time," you whispered, desperately trying to catch your brother’s eye. 

“Don’t lie to me," Eris chuckled. “I’m not," and you weren’t. Azriel felt it. He knew that Eris felt it too. “Pack what you need. You’re to leave as soon as possible. Further instructions will be given to you through the spymaster," and that was it. Dismissed. For a moment, Azriel thought that he would have to watch you cry. Beg maybe. “That’s all?”, you hissed through gritted teeth. “You want me to kiss it better?”, Eris asked. A breath hitched in your throat. Knuckles turning white from how hard you clenched your fists. You just spun on your heel. Candles dancing in your movement. A harsh slam of the door. 

Eris let out a shaky breath, but Azriel couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled from his lips. “You are a different breed," the spymaster said, shaking his head. “It will be easier this way," Eris muttered, not taking his eyes from the door. “I beg to differ," Azriel pointed out, turning to leave as well. “I didn’t ask for your opinion, shadowsinger," the fireling bit back. Azriel turned to face him once more. “But you asked for my help," and he knew he had a winning card in his hands. “I’m not doing this because you asked. I'm doing this because she is innocent in all of this."  That was the last thing he said before he stepped out too. 

He had barely made it to the outside terrace when he saw you practically stomping toward the woods. “Mother, give me patience," he muttered under his breath before leaping into the sky. “Where are you going?", he called out. But you didn’t stop. Your steps didn’t falter as you pushed past another branch. “To your fucking court," you hissed, taking your anger out on the poor bushes as you stepped over them.

“Are you sure it’s that way?”, Azriel called out, landing just a couple of feet behind you. You halted, turning left. “Save us both the trouble and let me winnow us there," he said, reaching for your hand, but you turned so fast, pulling a shining dagger from your belt and aiming it at Azriel’s throat. “If you touch me, I will skin you," you grunted angrily. Azriel lifted his hand, pushing his fingers beneath the blade. “You would have to aim a bit higher, princess; you wouldn’t hit the vital artery." He watched the way your jaw practically grinned your teeth to the nerve. 

“Don’t worry, I can always aim for your balls," you snarled back, turning away. Azriel rubbed a hand over his face, letting you walk a few feet ahead. “So, the plan is to walk through Autumn, Winter, Dawn, and Day, and let’s not forget the under-the-mountain part," he pointed out. You stopped once more. Even with your back turned to him, Azriel could tell the way your chest was rising and falling rapidly. 

Turn around; he practically begged in his head; don’t make me regret this even more. But just as he had concluded before, this was Mother’s way of making him pay for everything bad that he had done. Because you stepped forward, inching deeper into the forest. Azriel shook his head. For a moment, he considered letting you walk away, but he took to the skies instead.

You weren’t even sure if you were mad. Were you sad? Annoyed? Confused? It was all fine. Just last week, you were both swimming in the lake. You and your brother. Laughing. He had even pulled out his carving knife. It was fine. Lucien was going to come back, too. Angry tears rolled off your cheeks as you push back another branch, ducking under it. At least that winged bruit had chosen to leave you by. But they all do. A bitter laugh slipped past your lips at the thought of it. A burden from birth—that’s what your father told you day in and day out. Maybe if he had finished what he had started that night...

That thought snaps the same way as the branch beneath you. Your feet twist, making you yell slightly as the pain shoots up your leg. But that’s the least of your concerns, as your weight makes you topple over, hand-breaking the fall as the edge of the dome looms closer. Maybe fate has decided to give you a helping hand. But before you can blink, a strong hand wraps around your middle, pulling you up. 

“So you actually can’t be left to your own devices," a deep voice mutters, and you are cursing Mother once more because she could have sent anyone else, but no, that winged male had to be the one. “No one asked for your interference," you grunt, trying to push out of his grip. “Your manners are shit for a princess," he says, and you can’t wait to put him in his place, but the moment you manage to wiggle out of his grip, putting all of your weight on your feet, shooting pain rips through you. You hiss, stumbling over. The spymaster grips your elbow, steadying you. 

“What hurts?”, his voice is solid, but there’s no anger in it. "Nothing," you say through gritted teeth, thankful for the sunset that had already draped the forest in shadows, letting you hide your splotchy face. “Nothing?”, he asks again, “So, if I were to let go?”, “I said nothing.”You pull your hand away, turning back. You can hide a limp. You’ve hidden worse. Right? But you don’t get to take a single step back. Your ankle betrays you as a pained cry slips past your gritted teeth. 

And in a heartbeat, he is there. His big palm once again splayed against your stomach as he steadied you against his chest. Your heartbeat jumps up, but you don’t even get to gasp when he turns you around, lowering you to the nearest fallen trunk. You watch him with a frown. But don’t dare to fight anymore. What’s the point anyway? 

He kneels, his hands moving towards the hem of your skirt. You expect him to just lift it, but his hands halt as he tilts his head up. You can see that he stutters slightly at the sight of your puffy eyes. “Can I?”, he asks. You grit your teeth, “Don’t you own me now? You can do what you want." He frowns. True confession there. “I don’t own you. I am here to protect you. A bodyguard if you will," he says, and even if you want to call him out for lying, something tells you that he is not. “I don’t need protection," you say, crossing your arms over your chest. “Considering that you just nearly went flying over the edge," the spymaster gestures over his shoulder. You huff, lifting your left leg. Wincing from the movement alone. 

He reaches for it. His hands… Your heart skips a beat at the scars all over them. You can’t see much, considering that he’s wearing long-sleeved leather, but his whole hand... “You sprained it; it’s already puffing up." His voice makes you jump slightly as you nod along. He glances at you. “I’m afraid your journey through the five courts will have to be cut short, princess." He tries not to show it, but the bastard is practically oozing satisfaction. “Don’t call me that," you say, pulling your leg out of his grasp, cursing under your breath. “Princess?”, he asks almost smugly. “I still have two hands, you fuck," you grunt, trying to stand up, but the spymaster works quicker. His arms snake over your legs and back, and you’re up in his arms in the blink of an eye. You cross your own arms over your chest, refusing to hold onto him. “A tree, a fuck. All very original insults," he says drily, “Try Azriel next time, though. We’re trying to be professional about it after all.”

[rwrbficrecs]

A combined rec list for July & August ❤️

Before This, After That by @orchidscript (book-verse)

@dot524: Henry has a serious horse-riding injury and is in a downward spiral with his recovery until Therapist Alex pulls him out of it. I liked the sharp-edges interaction between them as they fall for each other. I actually read this one a while ago and it was just as good as a reread!

The darkest part of the forest by @everwitch-magiks (book-verse)

@suseagull04: I've loved this entire series, but this was my favorite by far so far! The way the author does world building in her fics is incomparable, even in a fic this short! I would love if she decided to make this a multichapter someday!

Count The Stars and Constellations by @everwitch-magiks (book-verse)

@suseagull04: I've said it once already this month, but it bears repeating: the way the author does world building in her fics is absolutely phenomenal! This one's an outer space saga for the ages, plus it's a multichapter, so we get to see Alex and Henry fall in love over the span of several years, and it's a bit angsty, but absolutely worth it!

An Exquisite Temptation by @tinyarmedtrex (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Henry became a Catholic priest to escape his homophobic family. Never did he expect to meet a stunningly attractive and equally charming, mouthy Texan who would seriously challenge his devout faith. Y'all can guess where this is headed, right? Delicious in so many ways: emotional, full of ‘80s vibes, angsty, smutty—an absolute masterpiece! Chef’s kiss!

How to get over Henry Fox: A list by dazedandconfused (book-verse)

@na-dineee: This AU is set in 2002, and Alex breaks up with the love of his life Henry. Even though it's clear they’d only be apart for a year, the story is still so gut-wrenching. The hurt and angst really got to me—reading that fic is a challenge, but it's absolutely worth it.

late night devil (put your hands on me) by @nine-butterflies (book-verse)

@suseagull04: The way this author took a 4 chapter fic and gave the world so much history and lore is absolutely incredible! Plus there are so many moments of Alex and Henry's relationship that're reminiscent of the book. Everything about this fic is amazing- and it's also definitely a good fic if you're looking for something for Halloween when it arrives soon!

right there beside him (all summer long) by @theprinceandagcd (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: The winter in Australia had me craving a story with summer vibes and this fic was perfect for that. Loved everything about this fic!!

Interrupted (series) by RadioFriday (book-verse)

@dot524: Henry is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, just like his dad was. This story follows him and Alex through their painful journey, including the end of it and beyond. Read this if you’re in the mood to have your heart broken, over and over.

the very essence of love by dollarstoreannabethchase (book-verse)

@suseagull04: It's RWRB, but from Henry's POV. The angst of the original is heightened in this (believe it or not, it can be done), but that makes the ending that much sweeter, and I loved the insight into Henry's thoughts!

somewhere in your world by @callmevenji (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Prince Henry, student at Oxford, tries to reach a hook-up gone wrong – and ends up texting someone else entirely: Alex. A deep chat friendship unfolds, while simultaneously Henry begins to fall for the charismatic FSOTUS. Whether it’s the universe at work, coincidence, or fate, the pleasure of reading this heartfelt fic is indescribably beautiful !!

In the Grand Scheme of Things by @itsmaybitheway (book/movie-verse)

@suseagull04: Meet cute at a wedding, instant attraction, intellectual banter- this fic has it all! Plus this is the best AU characterization of firstprince I've seen in a while, it's fantastic!

marked by rizcriz (book/movie-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: a soulmate AU with some extra drama - Henry learns that the reason he hasn't met his soulmate was his grandmother's plotting. Extremely well executed - my heart was breaking and then singing when it all turned out well.

Someday Soon I’ll See You (But Now You’re Out of Sight) by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays (book-verse)

@dot524: In the mood for some intense angst? I needed like two business days to recover from reading this one. The story is a devastating view of complex grief as different characters deal with Alex’s death. I thought that the odd and asynchronous ways the grief manifests for different people was raw, real, and well done.

peace by @raysletters (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This is the Sky High AU I didn't know I needed! I love how this isn't a carbon copy of the movie but uses each character's strengths and weaknesses- and it's also just a very cute magic high school AU, which is just the cherry on top!

Son of a Gun by foux_dogue (book-verse)

@na-dineee: I hope you’ve all read 'It's not a secret' by now? I wasn't aware until it was published, but I needed that follow-up so badly! In this fic, which can be read as a standalone, Alex cuts down his work as a tattoo artist to take care of the kids (good thing Henry is loaded) and inevitably has to deal with the Milton-Saylor Academy Mom Squad. Absolutely wholesome, full of domesticity—just like, excellent!

You Set The Tone by @iboatedhere (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Alex is an emergency room doctor and Henry a pediatrician in the same hospital, and their animosity (read: infatuation) with each other began just as unfortunate as in canon. Their gradual coming together, intertwined with the medical emergencies, is wonderfully crafted. The tension is effortlessly maintained over 70k words, never feeling contrived. I was so moved while reading, it hurt phenomenally good, and I cried more than I have in a long time.

pick your poison babe (im poison either way) by sheWritesToLiveVicariously (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Co-workers to lovers with lots of emotion and a touch of angst—it never gets old, right? This 5+1 story is part of the "little moments that pass us by" series, and like all the stories in it, it's rather short, but full of feeling, very soft, and so touching. I'm already looking forward to hopefully many more fics in this series.

Down In The Valley by @aforgottennymph (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: This Stardew Valley AU was such a lovely read and as an avid stardew valley player, I thoroughly enjoyed all the little easter eggs and references to the game. Even if you’ve never played Stardew, this is still such a sweet and delightful read!!

[heliads]

Newt x reader Bridgerton AU. Reader, the diamond of the season, is the Duchess of Hastings. She wants to marry someone who likes her as a person and isn’t after her money. Newt, son of a widowed viscountess, needs to marry to save his family’s reputation because his sister Sonya was seen alone with her fiancé Lord Aris before they were engaged. The anonymous writer Lady Whistledown is Ava, a widowed modiste who has her nose in everyone’s business, and Aris is the only one who knows.

'foxes and hounds' - newt

masterlist

The start of a new social season, although intended, supposedly, to be a cause for joy, feels rather more like a fierce uprising of dread, not celebration. Across the ton, young maidens find themselves new entrees– or, entrants– to the marriage mart. This game of rings and dances, men with ambition and women with more, will end in blissful happiness or deepest discontent. And all will be witnessed by every worthy family from one corner of the country to the next.

If all goes according to plan, an eligible would-be bride will find herself engaged to a man she loves, a man in possession of a handsome fortune and a sterling reputation. If luck slips past her, she’ll settle for someone decent, or someone without any income at all. If nothing goes in her favor, her first year in society will not be her last as a single woman. She will have to repeat her attempt the next year, this time without the glimmering aura of a new arrival, and hope that something within her has changed enough to attract a proposal. Otherwise, she will sink to the bottom of the pile of dance cards, ignored, abandoned, and grown up into a spinster. All that hard work gone to waste.

You’ve heard many young women discuss the marriage mart with nothing short of absolute terror in their voices. A good opening season can seal a girl’s fate forever. Attracting the eye of a worthy man is an impossible task for all but the best of the rosebuds, or so it seems. Most of us will settle for something halfway decent– a tidy sum per annum but nothing extravagant, a man with casual disinterest but nothing harsh. Something that can be shaped into something good, or at least ignored in favor of not being alone. Such is the romance of a married life.

You, however, hope to extract a little more out of the whole affair. As the Duchess of Hastings, you have no need for money. A marriage would be nice, the final touch on the portrait of a successful lady, but you do not require the financial stability of a husband. You have plenty of money and plenty of friends. You will inherit your estate. If you look for a husband, you will look only for love.

One would think, then, that entering your first season among the eligible women of the ton would be bereft of the panic permeating through most of your friends in search of husbands. However, when you line up with the rest of the young women to be presented to the Queen at the start of the season, you find that it couldn’t be less true. 

Your stomach is in knots, even as you sweep confidently through the corridor to wait outside the door. The white feather in your hair stands tall and proud. Your dress is crisp and finely stitched, the highest of fashion yet never gaudy. You attract stares wherever you go– from the other girls, envious and jealous and heartsick, from the men, longing and cutthroat and mercenary– but pretend they don’t phase you in the slightest. As duchess, you’ve had plenty of time to grow accustomed to onlookers. You won’t allow them to interfere with you on this all important day.

At last, your name is called, and you enter the throne room, your mother behind you. You keep your steps small but light, and seem to float towards your queen. When the time is right, you sink into an elegant curtsy. The moment seems to last forever, your knees bent, your hands shaking slightly, but when the queen calls you to stand, you look up to find her smiling benevolently at you.

“I believe I have found my diamond of the season,” she announces.

The room erupts in polite applause, and you do your best to smother a smile that’s entirely too giddy to be proper. As you retreat from the room, you gaze at the faces surrounding you, trying to remember which ones look genuinely happy for you and which seem to be identifying a prize pig for the slaughter. When the town gossips all gather later to share their thoughts on today’s proceedings, you’re certain that some of them will attempt to discredit you, saying that of course the queen would choose the duchess as her diamond, but you know just as well as all of them that you deserve the honor today. You were the best of everyone here, and it’s plain to see.

Among all of them, your gaze catches on a singular man, almost lost in the crowd from all the bodies packed together but no less entrancing. What strikes you the most is that his face seems kind, and his eyes sparkle with pride as they watch you go. Pride for you, for your accomplishments. As if he couldn’t be more delighted that you of all people were named the season’s diamond.

Then you’re gone from the room, and the kind man is no longer before you. Still, you puzzle over the encounter long after your carriage takes you home. You don’t believe you recognize him, but that doesn’t mean anything to sway you towards any decision. An image of the young man swims in your mind– short, dirty blond hair, an upturned mouth, dark eyes, his face almost spritely. Clever, for sure.

You know better than to mess with clever men. Clever men are the type to try and twist your mind, convince you that they only love you then attempt to make off with your money. You know full well what marriage to you will offer any would-be suitor. This season, you may be looking for affection, but every man in the room will be after your fortune. The task of finding someone who truly cares for you will be a difficult one indeed.

So, clever men or not, you’ll have to keep your heart under close guard. When the first ball of the season comes to be, you don one of your finest dresses, and firmly admonish yourself to be careful. The game of hearts is not one that you lose. Either you win, or you destroy yourself.

You time your arrival carefully, so as to make the best entrance, and your efforts are rewarded. From the moment you’re announced, all eyes turn to you. Were it not for your extensive experience with being scrutinized in the grand magnifying lens that is the ton, you’d be nervous to have that many people looking at you. Even still, you can’t pretend you don’t feel a small flutter in your stomach.

It gets easier once you sweep further into the room, once people start smiling at you again, when the conversation picks up and you’re asked for your first dance of the evening, which you accept. Your partner is a charming man named Minho– dark hair, witty eyes, an excellent sense of humor. He’s athletic and a decent dancer, and by the time the music stops, you’re back to your usual self again. You can’t stop yourself from mentally sizing up your dance partner. He seems nice, and you wouldn’t be bored around him, at least. His family owns land. Although he’s not of your precise social standing, few are, and he’s close enough to you that it would be a respectable match.

Still– still, you think to yourself, as you move away from the center of the floor once more to consider your dance card, it’s not quite enough. You want love, you want a spark, and you didn’t quite get that with Minho. There are plenty of eligible suitors here, though, and many more balls to come. You’ll have other opportunities to select a match.

A few dances later, though, your feet are beginning to feel heavy and you’re still no closer to finding someone of interest than you were at the start. A good lady of extensive training such as yourself should have no problem dancing the entire night through with a pleasant smile on her face, but you’re still human, still tired, and your charming demeanor is beginning to pinch at the seams before long.

The music for the latest dance ends, and you curtsy to your partner, praying silently that no one else will be looking to fill your dance card for the next rotation. However, when you turn around, you’re greeted with the sight of many anxious faces. Something inside you wilts, perhaps your endurance.

Before the mobs can descend upon you, however, a figure appears in front of you. You sigh in relief to see one of your closest friends, Miss Teresa Agnes. “Teresa! And here I thought I wouldn’t have a single good friend all evening.”

Teresa laughs, her dark hair shining. “I would never abandon you. Certainly not when our diamond is sparkling so spectacularly tonight.”

You smile at her. “I’m not the only one who’s sparkling, Teresa. You look lovely.”

“Thank you,” Teresa says sincerely. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to introduce someone to you. This is Viscount Newt, a good friend of mine. I met him through Thomas.”

You smile to yourself as Teresa turns to beckon someone towards you. Teresa has been harboring a not-so-secret admiration for Thomas since you were all small. This is her first season in the social circles, too, and if she doesn’t come out of it with a proposal from Thomas, you’ll think the sky has fallen. Even now, he’s watching her fondly from across the room, trying to pretend as if he isn’t pining madly while Minho teases him for it.

“Here he is at last,” Teresa says, and all of a sudden you can’t think about Thomas’ case of lovesickness for a second longer, because Teresa has brought her friend before you, and you know him. It’s the stranger from your presentation to the queen. The nice one, the clever one. The one that caught your eye, and then your imagination.

You curtsy automatically, and Newt bows. Once the two of you straighten up, you’re able to observe him more closely. You’d only gotten a fleeting glimpse earlier, but now you can drink in the sight of him, and you do. His eyes are dark, but catch the lights like stars. His mouth has a habit of twitching up at the sides, as if he’s always thinking of a joke but just barely managing to keep it at bay. When he looks at you, he really looks at you. You’ve been stared at all night by would-be suitors, but their gazes never went farther than surface level. Right now, it’s as if Newt can see through to your very soul, and most intimately of all, appreciates it.

Teresa gives you a confused look, and you realize you’ve been standing in silence for longer than is probably courteous. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you say.

“I must return the sentiment,” Newt returns. “Teresa has talked about you many times. I’ve been quite eager to meet you.”

“I hope I’m worthy of what she’s told you,” you say.

Newt smiles again. “I believe you’re even better than that,” he tells you.

Teresa is looking at you with an odd smile. “I believe I’d better let the two of you get to know each other, then,�� she says, and sweeps away before you can stop her.

Newt laughs. “She’s been wanting to set us up for ages. For a friendship, I mean,” he breaks in hastily. “Apparently, she thinks we have a similar sense of humor.”

“I look forward to finding that out myself,” you smile.

Newt’s eyes flash with mirth again, delighting you. Behind you, the music picks up again. Newt extends a hand towards you. “Would you mind if I shared a dance with you? Unless, of course, you’d rather sit for a while.”

“I’d love to dance,” you say quickly, and it’s true. All of a sudden, the pain in your feet is gone, as if it had never existed at all.

Newt smiles and takes your hand to lead you to the dance floor. The orchestra begins its melody, and you start your dance. You make a mental note to ask Teresa a little more about Newt later; he dances like an aristocrat, but he speaks so freely to you. It’s nothing like you’ve ever experienced in a suitor before.

Newt arches a brow as he steps through the dance. “Sizing me up, are you? It may be improper of me to ask, but I do hope I’m meeting your requirements.”

Your cheeks heat up. “I’m simply appreciating your mastery of this dance. Nothing more.”

Newt laughs easily. “Of course not. It’s not as if everyone else here is doing the same thing right now. Every dance partner is a strategy meeting. In just a matter of minutes, you’ll walk away knowing if I am a worthy wager, and I will do the same. This ball is full of hounds and foxes, my lady. We all know our parts.”

You glance at him, feeling a curious grin tugging at your lips. “And which am I? Fox or hound?”

Newt returns your proud gaze. “I suppose we’ll find out at the end of the season, won’t we?”

You laugh, feeling oddly triumphant. Newt has this way about him that you find enchanting. It’s  almost breaching impropriety with how candid he is around you, but it only makes you trust him more. The dance ends far sooner than you’d like. Newt relinquishes you to the storm of suitors outside, hopefully with just as much reluctance as you.

The rest of the night passes in a blur. Newt is truly the only one that stands out to you. You don’t have a chance to dance with him again, but you keep making eye contact as you dance with other partners. You can practically hear his clever words in your head, catching you in the act of evaluating the suitors in front of you. Fox or hound?

When the ball ends and you return to your carriage for the ride home, you’re blissful, practically dreamy. You’ve had enough time with Newt to dream about it until the next ball, where you’ll likely repeat the same cycle over and over again until the season ends.

However, your golden mood is shattered when your chaperone sits down across from you. Her face, by contrast, is twisted with disappointment. “Do you have any idea what sort of trouble you’re getting yourself into?” She asks once the carriage pulls away.

Still caught up in the heady dream of a merry boy who smiled the brightest when he danced with you, you don’t realize the trap descending around you until it’s too late. “What trouble?”

Your chaperone’s lips purse. “You’re meant to be dancing only with eligible gentlemen, my lady. I should hope that you’d be able to recognize the suitable candidates from the unseemly by now.”

The veil is pierced, and you’re beginning to be brought back to earth. “What are you talking about? I thought I made perfectly reasonable choices with my dance partners.”

Your chaperone shakes her head, a quick, sharp gesture. “All but one. Goodness, haven’t you heard about the trouble with that one family? I can’t believe Miss Agnes had the nerve to introduce him to you, but perhaps the fact that she’s so besotted with Lord Thomas is upsetting her mind.”

Your heart freezes in your chest. “You can’t mean to say that the Viscount is not a suitable bachelor? What else could he be?”

The other woman sighs. “You don’t know, do you? My lady, I would not interfere if I did not feel the need, but I can assure you, his motives with you are purely mercenary. That man is desperate for something to cover up the follies of his family, and you, my dear, are the perfect gilded shield.”

You feel cold. “What follies?”

“His sister, Miss Sonya, was seen alone with her fiance,” your chaperone murmurs at last. “Lord Aris. I would think you would have heard his name, although perhaps not connected it with Viscount Newt. Miss Sonya and Lord Aris were happily engaged, and by all accounts it was a fine union, but they were seen together without a chaperone past dark. Quite the scandal. The Viscount knows it and is eager to get the ton talking about anything but his sister’s misdeeds. Entering into a courtship with you would do just the trick.”

She’s right, and you know it, and you hate it. “He seemed so genuine,” you whisper, and instantly know how foolish it sounds.

Your chaperone, to her credit, is kind enough to take pity on you. “He did,” she tells you, “and you looked happy together. You would be less happy, however, when you found out the truth. I would rather you know now and stay away. Men like that are nothing but trouble.”

You nod solemnly, turning your head to watch the dark landscapes rumbling past. The sun is already beginning to rise, a hallmark of a late night out. It had been a beautiful night up until this, and now the entire evening is ruined in your mind.

“I feel for Miss Sonya,” you whisper. “She was already engaged. They were just talking.”

“She knows the rules of society, and so do you,” your chaperone reminds you. “We all have our roles to play.”

And the consequence of setting a foot outside your role is instant public mortification. Yes. What a forgiving world. You immediately plant your exhausted body in your bed when you return, hardly sparing the time to wash and dress, but the only things to bloom from your rest are troubled dreams of the boy that could have been yours. Now that you know the truth– that Newt was only trying to use you for a better reputation– every interaction with him is tainted.

You’d meant what you said in the carriage, though. You did think Newt was genuine. Hadn’t he laughed more than usual when he was with you? Hadn’t he regarded you with that fierce pride of his, as if he’d finally found a mind that was an equal to his? Hadn’t he watched you with something akin to jealousy when you danced with the other men that weren’t him?

Hadn’t you wished he would only dance with you? And don’t you wish that you could truly do what you promised yourself and marry only for love, never mind the rest? It is a simple dream to think that love is easy. Marriage is not simple, not in the ton, not in your lifetime. Every one of your days will be shaped by the whims of society, even when they take Newt away from you.

When it comes time for the next ball, you do your best to strengthen your spirits before you go. You intentionally avoid him, making sure to always have your dance card full whenever the music ends. It’s easy enough to find a crowd large enough to hide you from him, and yet you still catch glimpses of Newt from across the hall, several partners down, in a carriage many behind yours. You successfully go two balls, then three, without seeing him, but it aches like a knife in your ribs when you think about what could have been.

As it turns out, you’re not the only one wishing you were with him. At the fifth ball of the season, your attempts to distance yourself from the viscount are foiled at last. Newt tracks you down, signing his name on your dance card before you can stop him before leading you out to the dance floor.

“That’s a rather abrupt way of asking a lady to dance, don’t you think?” You ask as you curtsy.

Newt bows. “I felt it was the only way of guaranteeing that you would dance with me.”

“A lady never declines a gentleman in need of a dance,” you remind him.

The music picks up, and the two of you begin your paces. “A lady also never avoids a gentleman as thoroughly as you have at the last few balls,” Newt says. “Were it not for the fact that I know you to be as perfectly agreeable a duchess as there could ever be, I would say that it was personal.”

You can’t look him in the eyes, even with his hands on you, guiding you through the steps. “It’s not meant to work out, my lord. Us, I mean. We cannot forget the rules.”

When Newt speaks again, his voice sounds hurt. “Why not? Forgive me, my lady, but I remember what it was like that first night. You were happy. We were happy, and happy together. What changed?”

At last, you risk a glance towards him, and instantly regret it. Newt’s eyes are filled with genuine hurt. Are you wrong? Did he actually want you as more than a cover-up? “I heard about your sister,” you say as delicately as you can.

Still, Newt flinches as if you’ve hit him. “You don’t know the full story,” Newt says raggedly.

“Then tell me,” you beg him. “I would choose you if I could, but everyone seems to think that you are only interested in me to advance your station. Give me a reason to believe in you, not them.”

“I can’t say it here,” Newt whispers. 

“I can’t go somewhere with you alone,” you tell him quietly. “Especially not after what happened to your sister. You must tell me now, or we will never have another chance.”

“Alright,” he says at last. “But you mustn’t breathe a word of it to anyone.”

Once you agree, Newt begins to speak in a hushed whisper hardly audible to you, let alone the other couples around you. “Sonya is deeply in love with Lord Aris, and he is in love with her. So much so to the point that he has been battling a deep rage ever since that awful gossip rag, Lady Whistledown, slightly disparaged her last season. He took it upon himself to find out Lady Whistledown’s identity, and somehow, he did. The only problem is, Lady Whistledown is not someone Sonya would consider a friend. He wanted to warn her about the dangers of being anything less than perfect around that insidious writer, and he didn’t want to waste a moment. He called on her to meet with him as soon as possible. He didn’t think they would be seen, but they were, and of course Lady Whistledown ran with it to discredit them in case they would reveal her.”

You suck in a harsh breath. “It was never anything wrong, then. He merely wanted to protect her.”

Newt nods. “Lord Aris is a good man. He never would have done something like this if he realized how it would backfire. He regrets it daily, even though all he wanted to do was keep my sister safe. The ton knows their characters, too. Neither of them would do anything unseemly. The rumors diminish by the day, and soon, it will all be over. They will be happily married.”

He sighs and looks at you again. “I tell you this to explain myself, and to clear my name. I have nothing to hide from the situation with my sister and her future husband. In fact, it is only because they directly asked me not to spread this information that I haven’t gone public with the identity of Lady Whistledown herself to spare their reputations. I have nothing to fear, my lady. Certainly nothing that would make me risk the happiness of my marriage on a good rumor. I would court you because I have never met anyone like you before, nor do I think I ever will. You are utterly entrancing in every possible way. If you do not wish to be with me in that fashion, I would understand.”

You shake your head quickly. “I do want that, my lord. I want you.”

A careful smile slips across Newt’s face. “Do you mean that?”

“I do,” you tell him. “I have wanted you since the moment I saw you at my presentation. I would have found you no matter what lies they spread.”

Newt grins. “I believe I have decided something important, my lady. About your inner nature.”

You arch a brow as he spins you. “And what is that?”

“You’re a hound,” he informs you matter-of-factly. “Sharp and bright. Brave, too. But, then again, I am a hound as well. We make quite the pair, I think.”

“I think so too,” you tell him. In the days to come, rumors will abound about the viscount and the duchess. At first, there will be surprise across the ton, but then, even the most tenacious of gossips will realize that this makes perfect sense. The most clever of men and the most ambitious of women, bound together in holy matrimony. Even the best of poets couldn’t concoct a story that beautiful.

requested by @thornyrose463, i hope you enjoy!

the maze runner tag list: @blondsauduun, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @mayfieldss, @hiya-itsamber, @gods-fools-heroes, @hope92100, @23victoria, @w1shes43, @imwaysthelastchoice, @fadedver, @il0vebeingdelulu

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[ja3yun]

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY pt.1

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings for chapter: friends to lovers, mentions of self-doubt, sexual content/smut (mdni), fluff - like super fluffy, first times, pet names (love, princess, baby, etc.), protected sex, if I missed any lmk!

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. however, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other, but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

wc: 8.3k+

part 2 | part 3

a/n: hi! I decided to post at least the beginning of the story. this whole story is like 50k but honestly, you could read this as a stand-alone. It's not great and a little slow because all the juicy stuff happens later on but it is super fluffy. the chapters will probably be longer but for now, I'm keeping it short-ish.

The first time you met Sim Jaeyun was on the number 18 bus headed to your first day of high school. It was August, the sun was shining, and little did you know that the sunshine wasn’t confined to the sky. The bus was busy, students new and old graced the seats and aisles, and a sea of navy blue and black flooded your vision. Then you spotted it, a tiny seat at the back gone unnoticed. As you push your way to the back of the bus ignoring the disgruntled travellers, you take a seat and huff a breath, victory playing slightly on your lips. 

You are observant of your surroundings, one of the many traits you got from your mum. Not so observant, however, as you missed the way the boy beside you eyed you from the side smiling.  The sun shone heavy then. As the bus pulled up to your new school, people flocked to the tall building. The stones were an ash yellow, letters missing from the sign that sat above the entrance doors, and cracks on the pavement from neglect. You wondered if this was a foresight into your academic career.

“I heard it’s haunted on the third floor.” A voice so suddenly pulled you out of your trance. You twisted your head around to see a boy, the sun seemed to get warmer as you watched his smile appear. “Hi.” His hand raised slightly to give a wave, his head tilting with his smile spread so wide you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Hi”, you look back at the building, “is it really haunted? Because I will not even step foot in the building if it is.” 

He shrugs, “Rumour is there is a girl that occupies the third-floor girls bathroom. Her eyes got scratched out by a fox and no one came to help her, so now she haunts the bathroom to get revenge. If you see her reflection in the mirror and stare in her eyes, she claws them out.” 

You shiver, a sudden sick feeling rising from your chest, “Oh absolutely not”, you turn but he grabs your shoulders and faces you to the school, the sun suddenly exasperatingly hot. His back is pressed against you as his slight chuckle sounds through your ears.

“If you can face it for one day, you can face it for the next few years, yeah?” You looked at the school once again, inhaled, looked at the boy, and exhaled. His smile, that smile, was just enough to get you to nod. What you didn’t know is that the story wasn’t even a rumour, it was all in the boy’s head. He saw you, scared and apprehensive to enter the school. He wanted to let you know that if you can survive the first day of high school, you can survive them all.

“Y/N” you muttered, his eyes, those wide, brown eyes looked at you inquisitively, “My name, it’s Y/N”. That smile returned as he moved to the front of you.

“Jaeyun, or Jake. I don’t really mind.” He scratched his forearm as he let out a nervous chuckle. You finally take him in. You notice it all, the thick black hair in an almost middle parting, his straight thick eyebrows, his prominent lower lip that naturally goes into a pout, and his deep yet bright eyes that bore into yours. You took him all in. And he did the same. His teenage self saw you, every piece of you, you felt for the first time, that someone other than your reflection truly saw you. The sun burned your cheeks that day. 

You learned so much about him that day alone. You learned that he loved football, that he was smart and creative, that he loves his dog Layla more than anything else, he hates being scared yet he has fun at haunted houses. He becomes your best friend by lunchtime. It was the next few weeks that let you learn everything you needed to know about Jaeyun. He bit his lip more often than not, he runs his fingers through his hair frequently, and his eyes go wide when he gets excited and wider when he is curious, when he smiles widely enough his gums start to show. You notice it all. He becomes your first love by Christmas. 

You never let him know you’ve fallen for him. Why would you want to ruin such a beautiful friendship when he doesn’t feel the same way? You think he likes you for a while, but when you see him flirting with the class rep one too many times, you keep your feelings between you and the moon. 

But that was just it, his flirting with the class rep was nothing more than his friendly nature. That touch he laid on her arm was just a simple gesture, with no deeper meaning. You notice his behavior with her and yet just like the first day, you fail to truly observe him. Jaeyun’s hands on your thigh as he laughed at your terrible jokes, his head that leaned on your shoulder even when he wasn’t tired, how he’d stroke your hair while you were talking to your other classmates, his hugs lingering a little longer as he closed his eyes, how he subconsciously took the mushrooms from your side of the pizza because you hate the texture. You missed it all.

__

One year later you’re both inseparable. You’re happy. Jaeyun is disgruntled. You have a date, it has been a common occurrence since you turned 16. You go on dates, you think they’re the one and cry to Jaeyun about how you’re unlovable. It’s teenage naivety, it’s silly, it’s hurting him more than you could ever know. Jaeyun helps you pick out a dress that makes you look like you’re the only girl to ever exist. The pink sundress sits perfectly around your frame, the sun is out but clouds are forecasted, so you opt for a light white jacket. 

“Is this okay?” You ask observing yourself in the mirror. You aren’t delusional, you know you aren’t the prettiest girl in the world, but when you put on a dress like this, you hope you look good enough. Jaeyun is hyper-aware of how you check yourself in the mirror a little longer than normal. All the dates and rejections, it’s getting to you, and Jaeyun hates it. He stands and stands close behind you.

“You look like a princess. One any man would go to war for.”

You stop and take in his words. The sun leaks in through your window as you turn to him, “Be serious, Jake,” you say to him with annoyance, “can you be serious.”

He doesn’t understand, he is serious. Then, just like that it hits him. You don’t believe him, you never have. Jaeyun has spent the past year observing you, your every movement, every lipstick, every dress, every blush. You have seen only one version of yourself and yet Jaeyun has seen every version. Every perfect version of you. “I am serious,” his hands land on your shoulder and hold you still, just like the first day you met, “You look beautiful”. He wished he could say anything more, but his 16-soon-to-be-17 year old self only has so many ways to express his thoughts of you.

“Yeah,” you scoff and it makes Jaeyun stare at you, “If I was then I would have a boyfriend by now”. Jaeyun feels it, harder than anything before, the urge to scream. As he goes to speak your phone dings. You pick it up, leaving his hands empty from your shoulders yet he is still, staring at the mirror, suddenly aware that maybe, just maybe, he isn’t enough. Not enough for you. The sun sets behind clouds.

“Mark is here. I’ll speak to you when I get back!” You hug him quickly goodbye and ascend down the stairs. His body doesn’t move. The sun gets overtaken by the moon.

It’s 9 pm that night, not a word from you. He thinks the worst, you’re always back by 8 pm latest. He texts you. Y/N, are you okay? Did everything go well?

An incoming call. Y/N. He answers immediately.

“Jake,” pause, “what's wrong with me?”

That night he comes over and his first sight is your tear-stained face. You’re in your bedroom, crying into his shoulder as he strokes your hair, an unfortunate circumstance you have found yourself in too many times this year. “Why can’t I just find someone to love me.” The statement makes Jaeyun’s hands tense around your shoulders and his jaw tense. You feel the shift and pull away as you see his eyes, stained glassed in tears, “Jake…what’s wrong?”

“Am I not enough?” The question knocks you back, confused. 

“What-”

“Why is it never me you choose? Why is it everyone but me?” His jaw is tight and tears are leaving his usually bright eyes. You try to process his words, make sense of them and yet your brain isn’t comprehending anything that is happening. He inhales deeply before he speaks, but no words come out. You realise you have to say something.

And yet, no words come from you either, desperate stares are exchanged between you both as your jaw hangs open. The silence is enough for Jaeyun to feel he has ruined everything, and yet the silence means so much more than that. It’s realisation of the feelings you’ve buried, a realisation that Jaeyun, maybe just maybe, feels something for you. 

Jaeyun can’t hide his emotions, not truly. He’s open and honest about everything. If he’s sad, happy, angry, or guilty, he feels it tenfold and it pours out. This was the one time he wished that wasn’t the case right now. 

Shaking your head you look at him, “Jaeyun,” his eyes fall to his lap as he runs through what he’s just said, thinking about how any moment you’re going to walk out that door and never speak to him again. “Jaeyun,” you repeat, hoping he’ll look at you; he doesn’t. “What are you saying?” You needed confirmation.

“You look at everyone else, give them your time, put on your cute dresses for these boys that don’t deserve it. I’m not saying I deserve it but,” He looks at you with a fervor in his eyes you’ve not seen, or rather, hadn’t noticed, “can’t I get a chance to prove that I deserve it.”  There is a want in his eyes, an innocent want of love, of pure unfiltered love. His chest feels like it's been buried in cement and his breathing is jagged through the tears he forgets are cascading down his face. 

Without a beat of hesitation, your hands find their way to cup his face, your body shifting so you’re placed in front of his crossed legs. Your tears have stopped, crusted on your blushed cheeks. “Sim Jaeyun, you are everything I have ever wanted.” And it was true. You never told him why these dates didn’t work out. You started out thinking it was because you weren’t good enough but as more dates happened you came to the realisation that its because they weren’t. They weren’t your Jaeyun. Your thumb wipes the free-falling tears and he looks at you, eyes wide.

The moon shines as bright as the sun as the confession pours from your lips. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I didn’t think I was an option for you so I tried to find someone that wanted me back.” His jaw tenses under your touch, the words hurt. His hands found their way to your waist and squeezed, a reassurance that you were always an option, the only option. “But none of them were you.” The last sentence was a whisper, the room so silent it felt like you were shouting.

Jaeyun notices the tightness in his chest ease, and yet, he can’t speak. He can only hug you tightly. Any words he has the courage to say, he can’t speak while looking into your eyes. His chin rests on your shoulder, one of his hands still situated on your hip while the other is tangled in your hair. “You’re so stupid.” He mentally cringes as the words leave his mouth. Out of all the thoughts in his head, why were they the ones to flee? His hand strokes your hair as he pulls back relieved to see a smile on your face. “You’re so stupid, Y/N.” then he cups your cheek as he looks lovingly into your eyes. It feels like he is searching into your soul, trying to ask for permission - permission for what he doesn’t know. 

And then you kiss him. Your first kiss. His first kiss. It’s soft, not much movement, but enough for both of you to understand each other's feelings. The air feels hot like the sun like it’s a hot August day. Like that first day.

Jaeyun shared every first with you. First kiss, first date, first time, first fight, first makeup.

__

When you both went to school the next day, you held his hand. He took your hand in his often but this was the first time you held it as his. His love. People didn’t even notice at first, you guys were always together but when he kissed you so tenderly outside of your math class it caught the attention of others. Jaeyun kissed you a lot. Soft fluttering pecks were bestowed upon your face any chance he could take like he was making up for lost time. 

“Go on a date with me,” Jaeyun says as a statement rather than a question. 

You looked at him with a smile and head tilted back. Hands are intertwined with his as you start to swing them gently back and forth, “When?”

“Tomorrow. There is an outside movie theatre that opened up last week. They’re showing Labyrinth.” He notices your eyes shine, “I already bought the tickets so you have to go with me.” He laughed.

You paused and furrowed your brows, “But you don’t like Labyrinth, you said it’s too weird that David Bowie is trying to seduce a teenager.” 

“True,” He kisses your head, “but it’s your favourite movie. I’ll look past the unnecessary bulges and age gap for you.” Your head hilts back and he notices, “What?”

“You know they don’t actually date, right? Like he just infatuated with her innocence,” you pause and he smirks, “Oh..okay now yeah I understand what you mean.” He laughs at your final realisation. That laugh that made you smile. That laugh that made you want to start flying.

“Well, now we can go see it and you can watch it in a whole new light.” He kisses your lips, lingering there a little longer. He whispers against your lips, “So come with me?” You peck his lips and nod as you move back. 

“You just ruined my favourite movie for me but since it’s you I suppose so.” You roll your eyes.

“Good. The tickets are nonrefundable.” He pulls you into him and laughs. Jaeyun’s chest vibrates under your cheek and his heartbeat fast. 

You loved this. The way nothing had changed. Emotions were just heightened in the best possible way. Jaeyun was still Jaeyun, he was just your Jaeyun now.

“I gotta head to practice, Y/N. I’ll text you when it’s done.” He kissed you for the nth time and stared at you, “Don’t miss me too much, baby” He smirked as he saw your face go red. He had never called you any nickname before and especially not a pet name like this. 

You gather yourself and roll your eyes and playfully slap his chest, “I think it’s more that you shouldn’t miss me.” 

“I always do.” Not a beat missed, sincerity flooding his soft voice as he spoke the confession to you. Jaeyun was everything you could have asked for. He was it for you.

__

You and Jaeyun’s first date was 30 minutes away. 30 minutes to stop your heart from leaping out of your chest and for your whole body to cool down. It was unchartered territory. You had been on all those dates but you could always calm yourself down by saying at least it’s not Jaeyun but now it is. So what do you do? 

The sundress you picked out is suddenly feeling wrong. What if he doesn’t like it? What if you look frumpy when you sit down? You stand in the mirror observing every possible angle he could see you in to determine whether to keep it on or not. Jaeyun has seen you in every type of state from sleep deprived to sick. It couldn’t be worse than that, right?

Just as the golden sun floods through your window there is a knock at the front door. One last glance over in the mirror and a spray of perfume earns another chap at the door. You run downstairs and open the door quickly. “Sorry, I was just finishing getting ready.” You say before the door is even fully open.

Jaeyun is speechless. His breath is shallow as he looks at you in the dress. Blue like the sky in June, your hair wavy with two white bows holding back those pieces that annoy you. He usually tucks them behind your ear because he knows how they annoy you. His eyes glance at your neck, a little wet from the perfume you had sprayed. His mouth is dry, his palms are sweaty, suddenly he rethinks every decision he has made with the choice of beige trousers, a white top, and a denim vest. He felt so stupid.

You look at him and see his brain working overtime. Oh no, you think to yourself. Is he trying to think of a compliment because he hates it?

You’re both stupid. Stupidly in love.

“You look,” he pauses trying to put into words how he feels, “You look like you’re the muse for the stars.” They weren’t even all the words he wanted to say but all he could muster up.

A blush creeps up to your cheeks and the hairs on your neck stand up. You look into his eyes, but his are too busy taking you in. You feel shy suddenly. There is a strange look on his face, like something you’ve seen in movies but never in real life. 

“Um, thank you, Jaeyun.” You cough and grab your jacket from the wooden rack, “You ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” He breathlessly lets out, not taking his eyes off you, but never making eye contact. He’s scared to, just in case he says something too soon, too fast. He watches you put on your white slightly creased jacket. He loved this jacket on you. He loved everything on you really.

The walk to the outdoor movie is filled with random conversation, but he never looks at you. Jaeyun’s brain is filled with nothing but admiration; for you, for your outfit, for your body. He chokes it down, but every time your hair flies behind your ear he has to recompose himself.

You both arrive at the movie and give your tickets to the box office before finding your seats. There is little space to choose from but you find a summer seat on the left, a perfect fit for the both of you. The sun is setting.

Jaeyun pulls a blanket from his bag along with some strawberry laces, your favourite. “Thanks, Jaeyun.” You smile and he reciprocates the gesture. You sit with your legs crossed as you drape the blanket over you both, “Thank you for taking me here.” 

“I’ll take you anywhere you want to.” He nonchalantly states as he looks for the snacks he packed and your heart flutters.

Once everything settles and the movie starts you move close to him, your knees resting over his thigh. It makes him settle his arm on your leg, his hand placed over your knee. Your body stills as you feel his hand rub your knee gently, he doesn’t know what he is doing to you. As you look down you see his arm, veins prominently showing making you swallow but your mouth is dry. You’re weak.

Jaeyun notices you shift slightly and he looks to you, “Are you okay, Y/N?” You simply nod and try to focus on the movie. Suddenly you start to notice Jareth’s bulge a lot more than you used to.

Damn was it always that in your face? You think to yourself. Jaeyun squeezes your knee to get your attention as he leans into you, “You think I could pull off that outfit?” he points and sniggers as Jareth is shown on screen wearing the tightest silver trousers to ever grace mankind. 

Normally you would laugh at the thought and come up with a snarky comment but right now, with his hand now placed on your thigh where the blanket has fallen, you imagining what he really would look like in those trousers - more importantly how big he would look - you half-heartedly let out a laugh and his right eyebrow raise. “You okay, babe? You look kinda pale.” His hand squeezes your thigh and you jolt up in panic startling Jaeyun. 

“I um, I’m gonna go and uh,” you look around for any escape. You see a drink stand and thank whatever higher power there is for this opportunity, “Um, I’m going to get a drink, like, do you want one?” You grab your bag not waiting for a response and head to the bright yellow stand.

Jaeyun is confused because he thought everything was going well. His mind started to swirl as he watched you put in your order. His eyes suddenly grew wide as it clicked into his mind, his hand, he was pushing you. This is your first date and he was so stupid to touch and squeeze you like that. He shoves his head in his hands and digs his palms into his eyes. You’re so stupid of course she feels awkward you’re groping her on an innocent first date, are you thick?

You come back with a cherry diet coke for yourself and a grapeade for him. You hand him the drink and sit down. He mutters a quick thanks and shuffles away from you. You notice his sudden movement and sigh. If only you weren’t so wrapped up in your own horny thoughts you might have been able to have a normal date. Why were you suddenly so aware of every attractive point of your boyfriend? You’ve known him for so long you should have had plenty of time to oggle at him so why did you choose now? When he was trying to do something nice for you and now look, you thought, you’ve made him uncomfortable.

The rest of the date is quiet, you find yourself quietly singing along not noticing how Jaeyun is stealing glances. It's just like before you were his, the silent stares and longing to hold you. But he couldn’t, not now that he thinks he’s made you uncomfortable, not realising it wasn’t the uncomfortable he thinks it is.

The movie ends and you walk home in silence. Jaeyun doesn’t hold your hand, doesn’t look up, and simply keeps his head down until you get to your house.

“Jaeyun I-”

“Y/N, I’m sorry”

You both start at the same time, his head still hanging low as your eyebrows furrow,

“Why are you apologising? I should be the one to apologise.” You state matter of factly.

“Y/N, you never have to apologise if you feel uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have pushed it so far. I was so stupid to just put my hand on your thigh like that, it was inappropriate.” He rants. 

You are as confused as he was earlier. You step forward and grab his hand, “Jaeyun I was never uncomfortable with that?” You blush as you go to say what you were really feeling but you stop yourself. 

His head raises, eyes wide, “Then why did you just suddenly get up? Don’t lie to me, if I made you uncomfortable don’t feel the need to pretend I didn’t just to save my feelings-”

“I was turned on.” Shit. Your hand leaves him and flies over your mouth, eyes widen.

If you could slap a man right now it would be Jaeyun. Slap that smug look off his face as his jaw is slack, smile on his face, and tongue tracing his canine. He shortly laughs and turns around so his back is facing you as he lets out the heartiest laugh he can. “Jaeyun please stop laughing.” You find yourself slightly laughing as your hands cover your whole face.

Jaeyun spins and clasps his hands doubling over. You groan and playfully hit his shoulder.

Then just like that, his hands cup your face and his lips are on yours. “Baby, I thought I crossed the line.” He mumbles in between kisses. You’re hands wrap around his waist as you feed into the kiss. It’s passionate and hot, nothing like the rest. His hand comes around your throat and you feel his silver ring coldly pressed to your neck and you gasp. He uses this as an opportunity to stick his tongue down your throat. You’re moaning, your body is pressing against him, feeling like you need to be connected to him in every way possible. 

“Y/N,” he whines into your mouth and you simply nod and kiss him deeper, if it was even possible.

Jaeyun sees a light turn on in your house. It was your mum and you were about to be caught any second. “Shit, baby. I gotta go before your mum castrates me.” You shake your head and mutter a nu-uh as you pull him in for a kiss again, but Jaeyun simply pecks your lips and pulls away. “Y/N please.” He fixes your hair in a rush and wipes your mouth with his thumb, “to be continued, yeah?” Jaeyun smiles before bolting away from the door, just in time as your mum opens the door.

“Y/N? What are you doing standing out here?” Your mum questions you but you simply smile and shake your head never uttering a word. Heading upstairs to your bedroom you think about everything that happened. Your phone lights up your dark room like the sun protruding through clouds.

I’m so happy I get to kiss you like that forever x 

________

You and Jaeyun were kissing like that every chance you could. Before either of your mums got home, behind the stairwell during class, in the library during study periods, literally anytime you could. Everyone was sick of you both, teachers and students would roll their eyes. ‘You guys are so disgusting’, ‘Please get out of my face with this lovey-dovey shit okay?’, ‘Mr. Sim could you please move to the back of the class, this is a place of learning’. Jaeyun always laughed and said it was just because they were jealous.

All you guys did was kiss but the more you did, the more you needed him in every sense.

One night your phone pings indicating a text message. It was Jaeyun.

Are you awake?

Jaeyun was never one to message you this late.

I am. Are you okay?

Can I come see you? Are your parents home?

You take a breath in

You can come. Let me know when you’re outside and i’ll let you in

Time drags by slowly as you wait for him to text. This was so unlike him. Jaeyun never asked to randomly see you unless it was a reasonable hour, not half one in the morning. Your brain started to swirl around imagining every scenario. A breakup was forefront in your mind.

You and Jaeyun had been doing amazing, like something out of a crappy teenage love story but that doesn’t mean everything was peachy. But nothing that could warrant a breakup. 

Your phone pings. Your inhale holds for a solid 20 seconds before you check it.

out front x

You make your way downstairs, not unlike your first date with Jaeyun except this time you were quiet, floating down the stairs as best you could. You open the door and there he is. Clad in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, his feet are wearing the Timberland shoes you (your parents technically) bought him. The denim jacket he was seemingly wearing before is draped over his arm.

“Hi,” he says quietly. You say nothing but instead, move out of his way to let him in. It doesn’t take but a second for him to step in and make his way up the stairs to your bedroom. Your parents are aware Jaeyun occupies your bedroom most days, but they would never allow him at this hour. You follow him into your bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind you.

“Jaeyun, what’s wrong?” you ask so quietly that he almost misses it. But he always hears you. 

“I just,” he stops and sits on your bed watching his fingers as he seemingly counts them, “I needed to see you.” He doesn’t look at you. The atmosphere is heavy.

“Talk to me.” You see him stop as you say this. His body is rigid suddenly. Jaeyun was always so open and honest so you quickly sit next to him in the hopes it will encourage him to speak. “You can tell me anything-”

“I love you.”

The interruption is quick, too quick. You swallow your words and look at him. His eyes are focused on his hands but they’re panicked. Say something you think to yourself and the first words are,

“You do?”

He looks to the side but not quite in your eyes as he confesses, “Of course. I’ve loved you since I met you, I think.”

Deep inside you knew. You knew he was in love with you, and you him, yet here you are startled by his words. Your throat closes as you go to say it back. Why is your body so against you saying those simple words you’ve felt for so long?

“Y/N? Please say something.” He pleads. Is voice is strained, almost waiting for you to reject him.

“I-” you pause. It’s been something you’ve been wanting to confess for so long but you can’t seem to get the words out. The words seem so insignificant compared to your feelings for Jaeyun. The love you hold for the boy could never be accumulated by mere words, but you say them, “I love you too, Jaeyun.” That soul confession you’ve been wanting to say. His eyes finally meet yours as he cups your cheek. His hand felt like the sun on your skin.

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Really.” You let out a breath before suddenly, as quick as your heart was beating, his lips were on yours, moving softly, just like always. You needed more than this, your body was aching for him in ways you didn’t even know. You grabbed at his t-shirt desperately as you tried to connect your bodies as close as you could, your chest pushing against his as your hips raised from the bed, “I love you so much.”

That was enough for him to push your left shoulder onto the mattress as he hovered over you, his lips never leaving yours. You felt his lips getting needy, his grip on your waist and the hand that was once on your shoulder is now creeping lightly around your neck, his thumb brushing the area where your voice box is situated and making it harder for you to speak, not that you could speak.. Usually, if you got to this stage of desperation he would stop himself but you could tell he wasn’t registering his actions, too deep in the lust and love of it all.

“Jaeyun, baby,” you moaned lightly to grab his attention but he simply kissed down your neck to your collarbone, “Jaeyun please.” He pulled away and his eyes were wild, drunk on you.

“Sorry.” he states, “I got carried away.” Jaeyun goes to move back but you find yourself holding him by his t-shirt.

“Don’t apologise. I want this.” You look at his eyes as they flicker from one emotion to another. His eyes once sorry are now pleading you to repeat what he thinks he has just heard. Your hands hold his face and bring him closer as you feel his breath on your lips, “I need you. I want this.” 

That was all it took before he was kissing you, his hands now both enveloping your waist. His lips were so soft against yours, the small whines he was making as he kissed you making your head spin. You needed him, more than you did at the outdoor movie, more than any other time you made out with him. It was another level. 

His mouth traveled down your body, not removing any clothes but pushing your t-shirt up to kiss your belly right down to where your shorts met your hips. Your hips bucked to let him know he could take your shorts off and yet he doesn’t. Not yet. He kisses along the line of your lower abdomen, his hands run up and down your calves slowly. He’s teasing you and he knows it.

“Jaeyun please don’t” you whine as he looks up at you, eyes half covered by his lashes.

“Don’t what, baby?” He kisses just under your belly button and trails down, “Don’t touch you here?” His fingers press lightly on your slit and your hips buck upwards. Jaeyun grins and places a single finger slowly on your clit, “or here?” That was enough for you to let out a moan you didn’t know you were holding in. He smiles, rubbing your sensitive spot over your shorts, “So responsive, baby.”

You had never seen him like this. This Jaeyun was new to you, to both of you. He knew exactly what he was doing despite never having touched anyone like this before.

What you didn’t know was that he had asked his friend Heeseung for advice only a day prior.

“Have any of you ever eaten a girl out before?” Jaeyun asked coyly as his friends sniggered. Only Heeseung didn’t, he was the only one who knew how Jaeyun felt about these things, how insecure he was that he had never done anything like this.

“It’s all about listening and responding.” Heeseung states, “You gotta try it out and read the room, y’know? If you do something and she moans, do it again.” Heesung was only a year older and yet he knew exactly what he was talking about, “If she likes it, do it again, if she doesn’t, do something else. You need to learn about each others’ bodies.” Jaeyun looked at Heeseung as if he were a master of the female body. 

“How do i do it right though? You always see those tiktoks about girls blasting guys for not being able to get them off,” Jaeyun pauses, “what if I can’t?”

“You will just listen to her, Jake. Let her control the situation without her even knowing she is.”

And that’s what Jaeyun was doing right now. He was listening to your moans as he rubbed your clit. He heard your whine as he pulled his fingers away, eagerly pulling down your pyjama shorts. 

As he looked at your naked core he could only moan to himself, desperate to bury his face in but he needed to know that this is what you wanted. “Can I?” The words sent you over the edge, you lifted your hips as an invitation but he had to hear you say it, “Use your words, baby.”

“Please, Jaeyun.” You whimpered breathlessly, “I need you to make me feel good.”

And that was enough for him. Enough for him to dive his tongue between your folds, enough for him to circle your clit with his tongue, enough for him to moan at your taste. Everything in this moment was enough. His tongue was searching for every part of you that felt pleasure, and he hit every spot.

“Jae…oh my god,” you gasped and grabbed his hair as you pushed his face further into you, “Baby don’t stop.” Jaeyun took that as a sign to keep eating you like his life depended on it. He was so glad Heeseung had sent him videos to show him how to pleasure a woman. He’s glad he could please you. He moans at the sight of you being greedy for more because of him.

“Baby,” he whispers, his lips over your clit, “can I?” He traces his middle finger over your entrance as he waits for the response. You don’t know how you managed to huff out a “Do it” but you do, and Jaeyun takes no longer than a second to shove his forefinger into you.

“Fuck baby you’re gonna be so tight around me.” He moans as he thrusts his finger into you. You were scared to use anything other than your fingers to please yourself yet his felt so different, your walls felt so small suddenly. Your body clenches around him and he smiles, lips around your clit before circling his tongue. “More.” you moan out which makes Jaeyun add another finger. His nose is nudging your clit more and more, his breath heavy as he pushes in another finger. He knows you’re close and yet you don’t even register it. He knows you better than you do. “Are you gonna come, Princess?”

Princess

It was new, yet you nearly came at the nickname. “So close” you admit as he continues at your pussy. Jaeyun was drinking you like it was his last drop of water out in the desert and that was enough for you to come undone. His fingers never slowed down, his tongue still lapping up everything you gave him. You were panting, hands still in his hair. You felt so succumbed to him that you could do nothing but stare at him, his wet lips stained by your pleasure looking right back at you, “You okay?” He asks almost innocently.

“I’m fantastic” you huff and he chuckles as he lays a soft kiss to your clit. The action makes you shudder, “Jaeyun…” you breathe. Jaeyun looks up at you, slowly climbing until his face reaches yours.

“What is it, love?” Right there, that is the moment you knew you could never be anyone else. The overwhelming emotions took over your body as you pulled to kiss him with fevour like never before. Your hands tangled in his messy brown hair, your eyes rolling as you kiss him, “Jaeyun, I need you so bad.” 

He stares at you, almost in disbelief at your words, “Are you sure baby?” His eyes are pleading for you to say yes and to be honest, you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. 

“I’m so sure, Jaeyun,” you whisper. Your hand slowly makes its way down to his cock, your hand slipping under his sweatpants as you stroke him gently, “Let me have every bit of you.” You slowly pump his cock as he groans and his head falls back.

“Baby stop before I-” he stops your hand, “I’ll come if you keep doing that, at least let me come inside you.” Jaeyun’s eyes were pleading, desperate.

“Jaeyun-” you whine. He moves away discarding his sweatpants and boxers. Your eyes fall onto his cock. It stood flat against his stomach, pink and oh-so-pretty. You weren’t an expert but you could see it was at least 7”, his girth thick, a standout vein ran along the bottom of his shaft to the tip. Licking your lips you sit on your knees, waiting for him to do something. 

Oh fuck Jaeyun thinks to himself as he sees you, feet tucked under your ass, eyes glued to his cock. The strap of your pyjama has fallen down and left your right tit peaking out. His cheeks flush at this innocent yet filthy sight of you. 

Jaeyun starts taking his t-shirt off before leaning down to capture your lips with his. Its hard to tell whose lips are whose when they’re tangled into each other like this. Falling back onto the bed he is hovered over you as his lips never leave yours with the exception of him taking off your tank top. 

His hand finds its way back to your folds making you shiver and moan. The pleasure was too unbearable. “Are you ready for me baby or should I open you up some more?” His question was meant to be innocent - he really did want you to be ready for him, but you were so aroused that it was the most filthy thing to leave his mouth so far. The pleasure was so much that you couldn’t find the words to tell him to put on a condom, but you knew he had to, “Condom,” you point, “Second drawer.” 

He laughs, “Did you expect this to happen or something?”

Shaking your head and chuckling you reply, “Got them at the doctor's office when I was there. You know I can’t pass up anything free.” He laughs even louder as he puts his forehead to yours.

One small kiss and he reaches over to the drawer to pull out a condom but he stops suddenly, “Baby?” You prop yourself on your elbows to see what has caught his attention and your face flashes a crimson red. Jaeyun pulls out a small vibrator and smirks at you, “Is this my competition?” His eyebrows raise and a smile etches onto his face.

Playfully you hit his chest as you both laugh. Jaeyun leans into you again as he disregards the toy. “I’ll make sure you never need that again, baby. Only I get to make you come from now on, yeah?” He says as his lips brush against your own and you whine. You whine at how you don’t doubt for a second he’s the only person or thing you’re coming forever again. “You ready for this? We can stop whenever you want okay?” His voice is but a whisper.

“I’m ready.”

Jaeyun grabs his cock and drags it between your folds before he taps his head on your clit. “Fuck, Jaeyun, need you.” That familiar wetness from earlier is soaking your sheets and his cock all at the same time. He doesn’t stop teasing you, partly because he loves the way you’re wriggling and gasping under him but also to get you wet enough for him. Heeseung had also said it’s important to make sure you’re relaxed and wet enough that it would hurt less - he sent him videos on that too.

His tip is at your entrance once Jaeyun is convinced you’re ready to take all of him. “Breathe out for me baby, and if it hurts too much tell me.” His eyes never leave yours as you nod, “Okay.”

Jaeyun pushes his tip in as your hands find his shoulders and claw at them and he stops, “Princess, you okay?” He puts aside his own pleasure for your comfort. You nod but he doesn’t move as he waits for you to say something.

“I’m okay, Jaeyun. Give me a minute?” He nods and kisses you, as he leans forward his cock pushes more into you as you wince, “Shit, love I’m sorry.” Love. Jaeyun was bringing out every pet name he could muster and you couldn’t get enough of it. You kiss him to let him know it’s okay. The pain wasn’t as bad as you thought but that didn’t mean it wasn’t uncomfortable. You let him sit there for a minute. 

“I’m good, you can go.” And he does, ever so slowly. This was new for both of you and you loved that you were each other's firsts. It wasn’t awkward or tense, it was everything you needed it to be. 

“Baby you feel so good.” Jaeyun whined as he bottomed out, his eyes scrunched tight, “I can’t believe you’re real.” he whispered to himself. 

Grabbing his face with both your hands you stare at him being absolutely lost in euphoria. You are doing this to him and it's making you feel suddenly so powerful. This newfound confidence is making your head spin, your hips lift to meet his as you speed up the pace and Jaeyun’s eyes land wildly on yours. “Princess…fuck” he gasps as you clench suddenly around him. He wasn’t the only one to get some tips from other people, albeit your was from a TikTok you watched.

“Is it good, baby?” you whisper in his ear, and just like that, he’s spilling into the condom as his hips still. If you could tattoo one moment into your brain for the rest of your life it would be this; Jaeyun coming undone, his jaw slacking as he breathes heavily, his chest heaving up and down, sweat on his forehead. Your heart was warming at the very sight like you were watching the sunset. 

Jaeyun’s arms grow weak and start shaking as he tries to hold himself up. “I’m sorry.” He shyly says as he reaches for your face, “I didn’t mean to do that so quickly.” His face turns crimson red from embarrassment but you just laugh as you wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“Jaeyun it’s okay, it was everything I could have asked for.” You smile softly at him as he shakes his head. 

“No, I should have made you finish.” His eyes burn with determination and you have no idea what he is thinking. 

“Bab-” one quick thrust from him was enough to stop your question in its tracks. The pleasure spreads through your body but you muster up the energy to say, “Jaeyun you don’t have to, oh god.” He quickens with vigor like never before, his hand coming down to rub your clit.

“Princess I promised I’d make you feel good, yeah?” He breathily says, his concentration on his movements rather than his words, “I’m gonna make you come again even if it's the last thing i do.” One thing you loved about Jaeyun is that when he put his mind to something, he made sure to see it through. And if that meant having your come around his cock, that's exactly what he was going to do. 

You were trying to keep quiet and not alert your parents down the hall but that was a task easier said than done, you were moaning so loud that Jaeyun kissed you to muffle you.

“Baby you gotta be quiet,” he smirked as he thrust extra hard making you let out a long groaned moan, “I know I’m good baby, but try.” You were so overwhelmed with pleasure you couldn’t even roll your eyes at his cocky remarks. Instead, you fuelled his ego more, clenching around him and moaning into his shoulder.

“Jaeyun..I’m so-”

“I know, princess, I can feel you.” He whispers as he kisses your neck, “Need you to come all over me, yeah?” you swear he has been smirking for the past 10 minutes, “you love my cock, yeah?” 

“I love you.” Sincerity laced within your moan. Jaeyun’s eyes soften and his smirk falls into a pout of adoration. He loves you so much, everything he does from now on will always be for you. You’re his everything.

“God I love you too, princess.” He kisses you as his hips go faster. He doesn’t tell you he’s getting overstimulated because seeing you in pure bliss like this is enough for him to forget his own discomfort for your pleasure. 

“Fuck, Jaeyun, right there baby please.” You moan and he continues, he loves how vocal you are. 

“Baby, come for me.” He rubs a thumb over your cheek as tears well in your eyes, “Just for me, give me it all.” He whispers before he pecks your forehead.

You have never felt anything quite like this. All the mixed emotions of ecstasy, love, adrenaline, and joy wash over you as you practically scream his name followed by a bunch of profanities. Jaeyun is quick to kiss you to keep you quiet but that just makes you moan loader, orgasm seeming never-ending.

First times in novels and movies are depicted as these beautiful, hard-to-compete-with moments but now they all seem so dishonest and lacking compared to what you’ve just experienced. You wouldn’t trade this moment for the world, you wouldn’t trade Jaeyun for anything.

Coming back down you open your eyes to see Jaeyun smiling at you and stroking your hair, “Princess you did so well. I’m so proud of you. I wasn’t too much was I?” genuine concern etched on his face.

“Never. I’m so in love with you.” you giggle and kiss him.

“Babe I will come again if you say that.” He laughs before pulling out. The empty feeling that was once the norm now feels out of place. You don’t know how you ever lived before him, not being full of him. 

Jaeyun hisses as he takes the condom off and walks to the bin. You take the chance to look at him naked once. Thats all mine you think to yourself and smile lazily. As Jaeyun turns around he catches your smile and tilts his head, “Y/N? What are you smiling at?” 

“You,” you start, “just smiling at the fact you’re mine.” Suddenly shy you cover your face with your arm and giggle. He strides over and hovers over you again removing your arm so he can see your face.

“Always. I’m always gonna be yours.”

You cuddled as the sun rose.

[leth-writes]

Requests open!

-200 followers celebration announcement

-my A03

-I'll write for Marvel, DC, and the Twilight Saga and I'm open to writing both regular and dark/yandere dynamics.

-I'll write for Simon 'Ghost' Riley and Konig, both from Call of Duty.

-I'll also write for Aemond, Daemon, and Rhaenyra Targaryen, Jordan Li, and Homelander, as well as the Arcane characters Jinx, Sevika, Vi, Viktor, and Silco.

-I'll write for any character from parts 4,5, or 6 of jojo's bizarre adventure!

-I'll write for the following Slashers: billy loomis and stu macher; the sinclairs; Michael Myers; Kevin Khatchadourian; pelle; JD; the Lost Boys

-I'd also like to write for Chrollo from Hunter x Hunter, if anyone has any requests!

-I also write for both Helluva Boss and Hazbin hotel!

-When it comes to the Twilight Saga, I'll write for the Cullens, the wolves, and the Volturi.

Obvious rules apply:

-no homophobia, sexism, racism, or any other bigotry

-all characters aged up!

-This blog is 18+!

Feel free to ask me anything!

-I also have a ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/lethwrites

-I take commissions: up to 2000 words, $1/100 words. Message me if interested!

my game: https://leth-writes.itch.io/yandere-twilight

Anon list: 🤠, 🌌, 🍄, 🍒, 🐢, 🐿️

(Dividers by cafekatsune!)

Masterlist under read more:

Wolf pack x herbivore shifter reader

Yandere Aemond x reader

Yandere platonic The Boys

Wolf Pack x reader who has a dog that hates them

Twilight wolf pack x reader who is leaving for college

Yandere Aemond x Servant! reader

Cassandra Cain x Deathstroke's apprentice

TASM Peter x reader

Wolf pack x fox shifter

Batfamily hugs

Cryptid Batfamily

Batfam Soulmate au

some batfam headcanons

superman x reader

Tom Holland! Peter x autistic reader

Avengers x hypervigilant reader

Homelander x reader who stays in the shadows

yandere platonic the boys part 2

yandere platonic batfam x broke reader

Marcus, Aro, and Caius x reader headcanons

wolf pack x reader who went missing

yandere platonic the boys part 3

brief Ghost headcanons

Jordan Li x reader

Cullen petnames

Ghost x reader headcanons

yandere Aemond x reader

wolf pack x alligator shifter

Paul x reader with dirty sense of humour

Paul x reader with facial scar

Yandere batfam x broke reader part 2

yandere batfam x broke reader part 3

Yandere batfam x broke reader part 4

JD x reader

Yandere homelander x influencer reader

Yandere Chrollo post 1

yandere Chrollo x reader who can see ghosts

Cullens and a human s/o

Wolf pack x reader who's quite aggressive

wolf pack x short reader

homelander x supe! reader

random Cullen headcanons

Peter Parker red string of fate headcanons

Paul x Jacob's ex

Fishbowl (yandere Chrollo)

Yandere Tim Drake x meta reader

Yandere TIm Drake x meta reader part 2

200 follower celebration: Cassandra Cain

Seth x imprint leaving for college

wolf pack x easily flustered reader

Lost Boys x reader

200 followers: Jolyne

Wolf pack x reader they scarred

Yandere Aemond x reader

yandere spiderverse

HOTD x oblivious reader

Yandere batfam x vampire reader

yandere batfam x trying to fight them

Yandere HOTD x trying to fight them

yandere HOTD x reader scared of their dragon

NSFW Aemond x reader headcanons

yandere batfam x reader who's scared of them

[theverynothumankai]

I n T r O d U c T i O n P o S t

I’m Kai, also called Malakai. This is my blog for all things Nonhuman. Come join my little side of tumblr. <3

I’m a Polytherian, Polykin, Polylink, Otherfix, Otherhearted, and Fictionflicker/Otherflicker.

Theriotypes: Vancouver Coastal Sea Wolf (also known as Coastal Wolf and Vancouver Island Wolf); Canada Lynx; Red Fox; Nurse Shark; Snow Leopard; Maned Wolf; Norwegian Forest Cat; Coyote; Side-Striped Jackal; Dhole. Kintypes: Dragon (SeaWing/SilkWing Hybrid); Dragon (Night-Light Fury Hybrid); Dark Fey (Forest Type, from Maleficent); Avian (winged humans with tails); Raccoon (gold winged and gold horned); Silver Fox (with big crow-like/themed wings); Angel (shape-shifting, three pairs of wings, comforter of those who are lost). Hearttypes: Whale Shark. Flickertypes: Hylian (from TOTK/BOTW); Orphinki (OC species); Sable; Owl (all). Questioning: Ocelot Theriotype; Manta Ray Theriotype; Orca Whale Theriotype; Maine Coon Cat Theriotype; Jumping Spider Theriotype or Hearttype; Pallas Cat Theriotype; Manta Ray Kintype; Siren Kintype; Dragon Kintype (feathered wings); Mosasaur Theriotype; Blue Whale Theriotype; (Baby) Bongo Theriotype; Kirk’s Dik Dik Theriotype.

More Info On My ‘Types Here.

I’m a PseudoHuman, which means I may appear to be human, but am not.

I’m SunNonhuman, which means my nonhumanity is integrated into my baseline personality. It does not prevent me from having minor fluctuations of mood that feel slightly more animal or slightly less animal. I do not experience mental shifts to my nonhuman types.  I’m Transspecies (more specifically Humanfluid) and Voidpunk, which means I identify as another species (and more specifically have a fluctuating connection to my humanity), and that I’m reclaiming the dehumanization and demonization that I face in the marginalized minorities I’m in, basically I’m reclaiming dehumanization and fully embracing inhumanity/nonhumanity.

I’m Physical Nonhuman, in the way that since I am my ‘types, so is my body (although, I am aware that my body is technically human/human-presenting).

I’m a CladoNonhuman, specifically with my Owl Flickertype. I am all owls, not just one or a few, although I am more so connected to a couple specific species rather than equally to all. My Owl Flickertype comes and goes, it’s been gone for a while but it’s coming back again, and I have no doubt that that will happen again.

My Otherfix identity influences my nonhuman identity overall, by the way! So, a lot of my theriotypes and kintypes are due to hyperfixations (although, remember, they are involuntary and permanent for me!), and then a lot of my flickertypes have been due to hyperfixations (once again, involuntary and the flickertypes come and go).

The reasons/origins of my Nonhumanity is due to a combination of Past Lives, Fate, and Neurodivergency. I believe I was all my ‘types in past lives, and that I only found out about being these things in this life due to my neurodivergency.

I fluctuate between Nonhuman and Human, although am always on some level both, just other times are stronger for one and the other not so much, but overall I mostly refer to myself as just Nonhuman. My soul is a combination of all my ‘types, plus the intruding human soul of this life.

Please only refer to me as Nonhuman and Alterbeing, NOT as Human or Alterhuman.

I do not experience phantom shifts or any sort of shifts, but when I have in the past, it has only been once, very short (a few seconds), and partial. I experience loads of species dysphoria, envy, and sometimes euphoria, though.

I only have very poor gear, two homemade tails, and one mask, and am also currently working on wings. I’m hoping to get more materials to make better masks and tails for myself soon, though.

I do very poor quadrobics, but I adore doing them, especially when I can in public.

Fellow Physical Nonhumans/Alterbeings/Alterhumans, Non-Spiritual Nonhumans/Alterbeings/Alterhumans, and etc. are very welcome here.

I’m very queer. My gender is way too complex, but just imagine it as masculine, genderless, and animalistic, with lots of different aesthetics.

I use He/It/Rot/Void/Mutt/Pup/Teeth/Woof/Bone/Claw/Plant/🐾/🐺/🦝/🌿 pronouns + many more with those themes.

I’m AroAce, Aromantic and Myrsexual (Neuroasexual, Nebulasexual, Merosexual, Placiosexual, Dreadsexual, Acorsexual, Apothisexual, Bellussexual, Rosesexual, Requisexual, and Falsaesthsexual).

I’m Homoalterous (Gay/MLM), Omniqueerplatonic (preference for non-men), Panexteramo, Pansensual, and Panaesthetic.

I’m Ambiamorous with no preference. I’m heavy T4T-leaning. I’m also a Lesboy.

I’m undiagnosed/self-diagnosed (with research)(in the process of getting this all diagnosed) AuDHD, Pure O OCD, APD, SPD, RSD, BDD, ARFID, SAD, PTSD, Trichotillomania, Misophonia, and Dermatillomania.

I’m diagnosed MDD and GAD.

I’m undiagnosed (and in the process of getting it diagnosed as well) PMDD and/or PME.

SH and SI survivor, and in recovery.

I struggle with severe violent and ugly intrusive thoughts (due to my OCD), and have for years. Not as bad as it used to be, but still have some at least once a day.

I consider myself disabled due to my severe executive dysfunction that I’ve had for years, as well as for other reasons.

I also have severe imposter syndrome that I deal with 24/7.

I have special interests (Wings Of Fire, Harry Potter (I really love the marauders), Dragons, and Neurodivergency + Disabilities + Disorders), hyperfixations (current ones are nonhumanity and nonhuman gear), verbal shutdowns, shutdowns and meltdowns, am often in burnout, and mask quite a lot.

I’m in therapy, go every week, and love my therapist so much. /gen

Please use tone tags/indicators when talking to me. They are greatly helpful and appreciated. Thank you!

I’m taken by my lovely long distance mate, @itssiryapsalot @theremixedcreature.

I’m a minor (16-years-old).

I’m Agnostic, spiritual, and do not follow any God or Gods. I believe in past lives, fate, soulmates, twin flames, manifestation, the multiverse, the paranormal, witchcraft, and much more.

I’m a Reality Shifter and have shifted twice to parallel realities. (I’m a safe places for permashifters, respawners, and those who shift to realities where they’re a different race.)

I have one sibling (She/Her), @belles17 @fuckthisclubup. I love her loads, and yes, she is aware that I’m Nonhuman (and is totally chill with it).

My other Nonhuman accounts are: @sirius-the-lonely-angel and @malakaitheyappingwolf.

My Nonhuman Pinterest account is here.

More about me here.

I don’t feel like making a DNI, but my block button is my best friend, so get ready. Obviously, no anti-alterhumans, anti-furries, queerphobes, radqueers and radfems, TERFs, SWERFs, offending MAPs & Paraphiles & etc., sexists, racists, ableists (including those believe in “narcissistic abuse”), and etc. are allowed here. Also, those who are endo/non-traumagenic/etc. systems are safe here, so those against them can leave please.

Full credit to the original creators/owners of the dividers!!!

[hedgehog-moss]

I lost one of my chickens :( she was caught and carried away by a fox... I’ve been growing complacent about my chickens’ safety I think because we’ve only had one other attack before, a goshawk that swooped in abruptly (unsuccessfully), but no fox sightings nearby so I’ve been assuming Pandolf was a great deterrent. Which he is, just not foolproof. I’ve talked to some people in town about this and they were pretty philosophical about foxes stealing chickens, like “it’s the tribute we pay to woodland animals, it’s just a few hens here and there.” I don’t begrudge the fox for being a fox, if anything I have a renewed respect for foxes because everyone I talked to proceeded to give me their best / worst fox stories, and most of them involved foxes outsmarting humans (learning people’s habits / timetables, opening latches, faking a limp...) Still I feel terrible for my hen, she was only three. RIP Cordy :( You’ll be remembered fondly... (except by the cats.) I feel bad for the other hen too, who just lost her pal!

When I said that last thing, one of my neighbours jumped on the opportunity to try and convince me again to accept a rooster from him. He had a rooster baby boom last summer and I’ve been telling him for months that I don’t need a rooster, I don’t want to raise chickens I just want eggs, and his new argument was that a rooster would protect my hen (or if it comes to that, would heroically sacrifice himself rather than let the hen be eaten—I’m sceptical...) I asked around for a young hen but there aren’t any to be had in this season, so my remaining one is going to be alone until the spring, and my neighbour said she’d get stressed and male company is better than no company. (I wish I could ask my hen what she wants! Maybe she’s penning A Coop Of One’s Own as we speak.) I said the rooster was more likely to stress her out and harass her and he said nah they’re free ranging all day, it’ll be fine, and he’s young so your adult hen will boss him around. I was like, but then will he be any good at protecting her? etc. etc. and after a while I caved in.

When I told her about this on the phone my mum sighed “you’re terrible at saying no”—excuse me, I said no so many times and the guy just kept ploughing on until he could foist a rooster upon me. I’m good at saying no, other people are terrible at hearing it! I reassured her that I had only agreed to take the rooster for a short probationary period, and if he bothers my hen too much I’ll drive him back to his native farm. My mum was like “Drive him back? look I’m sorry I raised you as a city kid but there’s no need to waste gas on driving a rooster around, I’ll have no qualms about wringing his neck for dinner if he’s more trouble than he’s worth.” The rooster’s fate is not sealed though, if he is anywhere from vaguely useful to not actively problematic I’ll keep him, so we’ll see...!

[erisweekofficial]

We're so excited to be highlighting @utterlyotterlyx tonight! 🥹

They write Eris x Reader oneshots and multi chapter fics at also include a Reader x Azriel romance too. Right now we're really enjoying A Fate Inked in Starlight!!!!!

And if you want something shorter, we really recommend Can't Keep My Hands to Myself and Dark Paradise! 🔥

There are so many great fics, so please check them all out!

Read under the cut to learn @utterlyotterlyx's favorite fics they've written and how Eris is finally stepping up to become High Lord

What is your favorite fic you've written and why?

I'd probably say my favourite Eris fic was the first one I wrote when I started writing again - it would be Wicked Game, or it would be my Eris series, The Fox and The Fawn (incomplete) - Wicked Game because I am a key angst writer and I just love the depth to Eris in this fic, it really makes the reader feel his pain in a way that they haven't before, it is a sad ending but it is something I'd consider doing an alternate ending to. With The Fox and The Fawn, the series just really goes in depth with Eris, him being a bit stand-offish but keeping an eye on the reader from afar, slow burn romance where Rhys is the villain which I'm still perfecting the last two parts for!

Which fic was the most challenging and why?

Most challenging Eris fic would be Can't Keep My Hands To Myself - probably the most difficult because it's a Modern!Eris fic and even though it's short, I did struggle in capturing him from a modern day angle but it went down a treat!

What are some of your favorite fan theories about Eris?

My favourite theories of Eris are that he is just as misunderstood as Rhys once was but because he has no 'Inner Circle' then people really do believe that he's a villain, and I also LOVE the thought that he's actually the good guy in the Mor storyline - I think he's been super abused all of his life and just really wants to A) save others from that life, and B) have someone to understand where he's been and where he's going, and to understand that the mask he wears isn't who he really is.

We’ve just gotten word that Eris is on his way to become High Lord at this very moment. How is he getting rid of Beron?

Ugh this is a difficult one, despite how awful Beron is, I don't think that Eris would take it upon himself to end his life, I think he would maybe plant the seeds of treachery and either let someone else do it and turn a blind eye, or turn the other High Lords to his side where they could maybe force Beron to step down.

Please give us a name for one of his brothers and one of his hounds!

I think one of his brothers would be called Phoenix, and I think one of his dogs would be called Maple - runt of the litter but his favourite just because of how loving and doting she is, like she can read his mind and know what comfort he needs because she knows that he doesn't have anyone physically there by his side.

[puppetmaster13u]

It's the last day of Mermay...

So have my most common headcanons on who would be which (or take inspiration from such) for if they were merfolk <3 Yes, this is DCxDP but can be used for either separately if you want.

Bruce- Ray

Alfred- Remora

Kate- Angel Shark

Dick - Guppy

Cass- Cuttlefish

Jason- Thresher Shark

Tim- Bichir

Steph- Spanish Shawl Sea Slug

Duke- Anglerfish

Harper- Cichlid

Cullen- Rasbora

Damian- Stingray

Carrie- Dusky Batfish

Jarro- Starfish

Terry- Devilfish

Matt- Koi

Barbara- Jellyfish

Gordon- Squirrelfish

Ghostmaker- Moray Eel

Harvey- Tiger Shark

Selina- Catfish

Harley- Clownfish

Poison Ivy- Leafy Seadragon

Riddler- Corydoras

Joker- Piranha

Bane- Pufferfish

Mr. Freeze- Leopard Seal

Scarecrow- Anglerfish

Waylon- Saltwater Crocodile

Solomon Grundy- Coelacanth 

Penguin- Longfin Icedevil

Ras Al Ghul- Sturgeon

Talia- Pike

Dusan- Pike 

Deathstroke- Tiger Barb

Clark- Sea Lion

Connor- Fur Seal

Jon- Fur Seal

Kara- Sea Lion

Martha Kent- Ribbon Seal

Jonathan Kent- Manatee

Lex Luthor- Cardinalfish

Barry Allen- Marlin

Wally West- Swordfish

Bart- Marlin

Iris- Trout

Thawne- Wahoo

Captain Cold- Beluga Whale

Heatwave- Guppy

Captain Boomerang- Discus Fish

Mirror Master- Mahi Mahi

Green Arrow- Goby

Arsenal- Arapaima

Artemis- Grouper

Black Canary- Orca

Diana- Lionfish

Cassie- Lionfish

Cheetah- Spotted Snapper

Vandal Savage- Dunkleosteus 

Marvel- Whale Shark 

Billy- Wrasse

Mary- Wrasse

Freddy- Killifish

Eugene- Loach

Pedro- Danio

Darla- Goby

Black Adam- Gar Fish

Dr. Sivana- Dolphin

Mister Mind- Bristle Worm

Martian Manhunter- Octopus

M’gann- Octopus

Aquaman- Hammerhead Shark

Kaldur- Blue Tang

Oceanmaster- Ray

Plasticman- Oarfish

Booster Gold- Goldfish

Blue Beetle- Blue Shrimp

John Stewart- Sailfish

Hal Jordan- Neon Tetra

Red Tornado- Mantis Shrimp

Zatanna- Swordtail

Constantine- Fighting Fish

Doctor Fate- Wrasse

Deadman- Glass Fish

Klarion- Platy

Cyborg- Mola

Raven- Squid

Beast Boy- Triggerfish

Starfire- Koi Fish

Beast Boy- Fluffy Sculpin

Lobo- Wolf Fish

Deadshot- Ruby Barb

Killer Frost- White Koi

King Shark- Great White Shark

Doctor Light- Dolphin

Catman- Tigerfish

Angel Breaker- Redtail Black Shark

Trigon- Giant Squid 

Martha Wayne- Mako Shark

Thomas Wayne- Devil Ray

Lucious Fox- King Mackeral 

Jack Drake- Freshwater Angelfish

Janet Drake- Comet Goldfish

================================================

Danny- Betta Fish (Or Giant Phantom Jelly)

Dan- Lancetfish

Ellie- Betta Fish

Jazz- Oarfish

Sam- Lamprey

Tucker- Devil's Hole Pupfish

Valerie- Cherry Shrimp

Vlad Masters- Vampire Squid

Maddie Fenton- Lion's Mane Jelly

Jack Fenton- Whale

Ida Manson- Gulper Eel

Mr. Lancer- Hatchetfish

Spike- Gourami

Wes Weston- Carp

Kyle Weston- Perch

Paulina- Dragonfish

Star- Cichlid

Dash Baxter- Short Beaked Dolphin

Kwan- Goldfish

Box Ghost- Boxfish

Lunch Lady- Killifish

Skulker- Sea Turtle

Ghostwriter- Lyretail

Sidney Poindexter- Shubunkin

Jonny 13- Corydora

Kitty- Loach

Ember- Basslet

Desiree- Seahorse

Spectra- Eel

Walker- Frogfish

Nocturn- Lanternfish

Overgrowth- Sea Pig

Fright Knight- Swordtail

Pariah Dark- Skate

Princess Dora- Dragon Goby

Pandora- Leaf Scorpionfish

Frostbite- Crabeater Seal

Clockwork- Colossal Squid (or Congor Eel)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you want pics of any of the fish/creatures I am happy to put them out, I just can't put that many links on one post lol. (Also apologies if I missed anyone)

[fallingdownhell]

Could I request Cyno with an s/o that enjoys and tells dad jokes?

Imagine them teaming up and telling bad jokes to Tighnari and everyone else around them 😂.

I pity Tighnari in this scenario.. I really do..

Content: crack, if you want to call it that; just some funny stuff and bad dad jokes

Word count: 640 words

Hope I could deliver this the way that I pictured it in my head. Still, have fun with it!

If you are to date the one and only General Mahamatra Cyno, you WILL have to deal with his jokes one way or another

because by becoming his partner, you also gain the privilege to hear all the jokes he comes up with as the very first person

if you actually, honestly laugh at his jokes, Cyno is awestruck. He can't get another word out of his mouth for the next ten minutes straight, only stares at you

and if you were to actually share his humor and come up with such jokes on your own?

you better prepare yourself because Cyno might just propose to you on the spot

of course he would not do that, since you guys have only been together for a short time, but for him that was the moment he knew that he had to do everything in his power to keep you by his side and eventually, put a ring on your hand

After that, he was convinced that you were the one fated for him, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with

he loves how you come to him all excited when you came up with a new joke

"Cyno! Cyno! I got a new one!"

"Oh really? Let's hear it then."

"Okay okay... I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."

He looks at you and cracks a small chuckle, as he gets out his notebook where he writes your joke down to make sure he remembers it

He always makes sure to take you with him when he goes to visit Tighnari at Gandharva Ville

Because, and Tighnari hated to admit that, he actually likes you and the influence you have on Cyno, even though the both of you enjoy to torture him with those terrible jokes

Luckily though, you don't have the habit of explaining said jokes, that would always be Cyno's part to take over. And Tighnari truly hoped that it would stay that way. He and his sanity would not be able to handle two of the exact same sort

and while he had build up a pretty high tolerance over the years towards Cyno's bad jokes.. there's only so much the poor fox can take, especially now that he has to deal with two people

"Hey Tighnari, did you hear the rumor about butter?", you said, excitedly looking at him, while Tighnari just gave you a blank stare. "Well, I'm going to spread it!"

While Cyno let out a quiet laugh at your joke, the fox boy just looked at you, an expression on his face that could only be interpreted as 'are you serious right now?'

Then Cyno cleared his throat and went ahead to tell a joke of his own. ""Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

you snicker at that, when Tighnari suddenly stands up, not being able to take it anymore

"Both of you, leave. NOW!"

Let's just say neither of you were welcome at Gandharva Ville for the next two weeks straight.

But that just gave you both ample time to come up with even more jokes, which Tighnari would all get to hear eventually

Over time, people all over Sumeru would know you for one of two reasons. Either because you're the partner of their General Mahamatra, or as his "partner in crime", as some people began to call you, seeing as you torture the people around you with bad jokes as much as he does

If other people got a say in it, they would forbid both of you from ever talking outside of work, so they can maintain their sanity. But alas, that request didn't go through, so you and Cyno continue to tell terrible jokes both to each other and every person around you currently available

I had to actually research dad jokes for this one... I require compensation for the things I had to read...

[ctheathy]

Hiii May I request for Nine x Sweet Seedrian Reader? Yandere or not im okay with any! Thank you for all the tails variety content its v much appreciated

Yandere Nine w/ sweet!seedrian!Darling

Nine x Reader

Yandere Headcanons

Short Concept

Author’s note: Good day, Nonnie =))) tried my hardest to get creative with this concept, especially as I headcanon the counterpart foxes [Nine, Mangey and Sails] into sometimes having visions of the memories the original Tails held.

Nine/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Delusional mindset • Illusions • Mention of Cosmo’s death • He views the core memories that belonged to Tails as hallucinations • Nine’s isolation

What a complex scenario you're in ... Seedrians are known to be quite the rare and valuable characters, their species being infrequent among the environment as a whole and especially when it comes to Nine’s dimension. It is an absolute miracle you haven't been taken in as a captive yet and even managed to meet Nine in the first place, regarding his hidden agenda and isolated workshop from the community. As soon as you cross paths with the fox, the interaction is going to be quite similar as it would usually go. We have Nine trying to reject any offerings of friendship all while being sarcastic and demanding for answers in the process. He just doesn't understand... He's behaving absolutely intolerable towards you and he knows it. He constantly gives you the cold shoulder and snarky attitude towards the smallest acts of kindness you provide.

But in a way... Your sudden appearance to him sends him in a constant state of deja vu. He might behave coldly towards you, but your kind and optimistic behaviour. It sends him in a complete daze whenever even a few words leave your lips. Almost as if his mind is filled with memories that don't belong to him. You remind him of someone he has seen among his daydreams and fantasies. Thoughts that also seemed to belong to another... Certain visions slipping into his mind of another seedrian he has never even met before in his actual life. One who has died within his own mind literal years ago.

...Cosmo ?

Your arrival starts to freak him out ever so slightly. He's had dreams of a similar creature that looked just like you... And you seem to hold similar characteristics too, as well as your kindness and generosity. He cannot help but compare you to the mere picture of the one pleasant memory he has formed in his own fantasies. Illusions he believes to have created for his own self benefit and to prevent the loss of his sanity due to the isolation he faced. He'll start to question your existence and become hesitant with his behaviour towards you ...almost seeing you as if you were a Godsend created just for him in order to save him from his own loneliness.

Nine tends to assume the information he's seen among his illusions as in truthful to your own history, not getting the fact that you both are two separate seedrians. He's always viewed Cosmo as some sort of angel back in the day when she used to corrupt his dreams. And now he cannot help but expect you and hold you accountable to fill that same void as she used to before her eventual demise. Nine tends to grow more attached to you due to his aspect of the truth between realism and the simple illusions he's had in his past. And despite his desire for a realistic point of view, he is quite frankly just determined to believe that you are in fact that same seedrian as the one he's always considered emotional support, that you came back to life in order to protect him from his dreadful fate.

And he will keep you to fulfill that mere hallucination of his. Even if it's against your will.