#francis & franz they/them

[pronoun-asks]

:^] hello! id like to try out francis + franz (same name) with they/them and a little sprinkle of he/it? i really like werewolves, im about to start watching doctor who, im still in search for a name lol,, thanks sm azure!

No problem, Francis!

A newcomer stopped by some time ago. Their name is Francis. They love werewolves. Werewolves definitely make for some cool characters! I wonder if that's why werewolves are an interest of his. Franz was about to start watching Doctor Who when they sent this ask. I wonder if he began watching it since then. I hope it enjoys the show! Francis is undecided on their name. They're looking for a name. I hope they find one they like! Anyway, I hope Franz has a good day, he enjoys its interests, and they take care of themself!

[ivobatic]

song: licht - mike singer

[coreofmyfruits]

HEAD CANNONS !

★ Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

Stu Macher ↓

Physical traits

Pigeon toed

6'4

Has to usually duck down through door ways

Slouchy posture

Has immense upper back pain

Prone to head aches

Left handed

Large hands (Billy calls them monkey paws)

Warm hands

Has a bunch of scars on his knuckles

Has a lot of scars in general but they accumulate in the same general areas

Personality

ADHD

ASD (autism spectrum disorder)

NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)

Stu got diagnosed with ADHD at a young age due to always being an interruption in class and especially silent reading, always having to get up and be doing something. Not too long after he got diagnosed with ASD because of his lack of awareness and his parents concerns about him being behind in class work (he just wasn't doing it). Stu never got properly diagnosed with NPD he never even thought of himself being a narcissist.

Likes and interests

Horror movies (mainly psychological thrillers)

His favorite movie is Eraserhead

Favorite color is black (because when he first met Billy he thought Billy's eyes looked black)

Loves to read

likes to read to Billy in silly voices (especially when it gets to a 'serious scary' part of the book)

Likes Edgar Allan Poe and Oscar Wilde

He likes hip hop and rap but really likes ska punk and surfer punk (queercore is also a must)

Likes low riders

Unironicaly loves the show Pimp my Ride

Actively ghost rides the whip

Wants a jacuzzi in his car because of Pimp my Ride

Likes to compare hand sizes with Billy because it pisses Billy off

Uses Billy's head as an arm rest

Steals Billy's clothes specifically his pants because they're baggy enough to fit but he can wear them as low-rise and he loves when Billy tells him to take off HIS pants because Stu looks 'stupid'

Stu just likes it when Billy turns red and tells him to take off his clothes

Always an opportunity to carry Billy anywhere bridal style never an opportunity not to

The scent of Billy's shampoo and how he naturally smells like pinecones and rain

Antique surgical tools

Dislikes

Bitches, cunts, liars oh my!

Sydney, not because he's jealous of her and Billy but because he used to have a crush on her

Betrayal

Abandonment

Being ignored

Talked over

Fish he fucking hates fish

The beach after it rains

Tooth pain

Unneeded laugh tracks

Sitcoms

YA romance novels

White women audacity

Starbucks

Lines

Victim mentality and complexes

Billy's stubborness

Love languages

Acts of service

Words of affirmation

Physical touch

Sexuality

Bisexual

Billy Loomis ↓

Physical traits

Slightly bow legged

5'9

Overly Straight posture

General neck pain

Tense shoulder muscles

Has Hyperacusis

Prone to migraines

Left handed

Shorter fingers wide palms and strong grip strength

Always has cold as fuck hands

Has a lot of scars mainly on his middle to lower back

Half Mexican

Easily tans

Frizzy hair

(slightly) Allergic to red food dye

Personality

ASD (autism spectrum disorder)

ASPD (anti social personality disorder)

Billy has not been diagnosed with either ASD or ASPD he's not even aware of the possibility of him having one especially not both at once. Billy's father was never around enough to notice Billy's acute behaviors or to even think of getting a specialist to diagnose him also Mr.Loomis is a lawyer it wouldn't look good for his job if his son was 'crazy'.

Likes and interests

Horror movies (slashers)

Favorite movie is before sunrise

Favorite color is teal (he would never admit it but it's because Stu looks good in teal)

Mainly listens to the same three bands (pixies, Radiohead, my bloody Valentine)

Loves the song pink triangle by weezer

Has a guilty pleasure for 40s and 50s love songs

Likes to draw

Favorite artist are Keith Haring, Andy Worhal and Francis Bacon

Draws like Franz Kafka (he doesn't know who Franz Kafka is this is just a reference to what I think his drawings would look like)

Really likes playing in the mud and jumping in puddles

Loves worms

Eats the shit out of some Oreos

Plain hotdogs

Likes how large Stu's hands are

How Stu smells like warm wool and fire

When Stu picks him up

Biting Stu (mainly his shoulders)

Stu in HIS pants

Tea

When Stu reads to him

Blood

Phantom skulls

Dislikes

Sydney, he's never even liked Sydney not before he found out about her mom and his dad and especially not after... He just always had this feeling

Tatum Riley (he looks better on Stu)

Cops pigs and donuts

Healthcare system in America

Abandonment

Betrayal

Being cut off

Being hung up on

Noise in general

Phone bills

Lawyers

Ableist(ism)

Ableist infrastructure

Gender pay gap

Misogynists

Hamburgers

Poppyseed buns

Layering clothes (he would rather freeze than put more than over shirt on)

Socks

Shoes in the house

Hot weather

Sweating

Baths

Coffee

Reading

Love languages

Words of affirmation

Acts of service

Gift giving

Sexuality

Asexual (non sex repulsed) and queer

★

Tags !

@ghostfacemp3

[best-habsburg-monarch]

Maria Theresa, Archduchess of Austria, Queen of Hungary, Croatia and Bohemia, etc. reigned 1740-1780

The empress who reformed the empire while having a ton of children at the same time.

Maximilian , Emperor of Mexico, reign: 1864-1867

The last emperor of Mexico who supported liberal reform against the desires of Mexican conservatives.

Propaganda under the cut:

Maria Theresa:

From anon:

- chucked into ruling at age 23. while pregnant

- no prep!!!! Prussia invades Silesia!!! Ministers fucking around for their own provincial interests instead of for the Whole !!!!! and she has to somehow cope with all of this ....

- ALL WHILE being pregnant with Joseph (II) and we know that guy was just as ornery in utero as he was irl

- she's everything! He (Francis) is just ....Ken.

- YAS QUEEN rediversify that gene pool

- originally reluctant to participate in the 1st partition of poland (who wants galicia let's be real)

Maximilian

From: anon

- He loved plants

- He was a sassy man

- He had good taste

- He learned Nahuatl

- He’s cute (I mean look at him)

- He said “gay rights”

- He banned child labour in Mexico

- He gave many rights back to indigenous people

- Bro was wronged by France (haven’t we all?)

- He’s baby

- Got executed, come on, give him this guys 🥺

- He loved to design gardens and collect insects which makes me think he would've loved playing animal crossing

- An outspoken liberal in a period where the monarchy was still quite conservative.

- Vice-Admiral of the Navy who initiated scientific projects and exploration.

- Aesthetic girlie. Collected flowers, painted, wrote poetry, and kept a journal. He would have loved Tumblr.

- (Probably) gay or bisexual.

- Allegedly slapped Franz Joseph for refusing to allow Lombardy to have an elective body.

- Sisi's favorite brother-in-law (and not in a romantic way, fuck you Netflix)

- Refused to take the Mexican crown until a plebiscite had been held because he wanted to be invited by the Mexican people.

- Gave up all of his Austrian titles to go to Mexico because he believed he had made a promise to them.

- Also, his wife was amazing and capable and the amount of pure misogyny that certain historians and biographers have thrown at her is ridiculous. I know this isn't a Carlota poll, but she'd want Max to win.

- Netflix did him unbelievably dirty. Please give him this.

Did you know my man Max repatriated many pieces of Mexica artefacts?

He told Austria to cough up 3 main things that he thought were rightfully Mexican.

1. The Chimalli

2. A codex

3. A letter from Cortez to the chocolate man people seem to call Charles

The Austrians took their time but eventually gave back something

The Chimalli next to max so people know who to thank for it

[archduchessofnowhere]

Hi, hope this question won’t be too long.

In “The Real Francis Joseph, the Private Life of the Emperor of Austria,” by Henri de Weindel, it states that in 1873 at the Vienna Exhibition, Empress Elisabeth was given an Egyptian slave who was part of the exhibit. The book later states that Elisabeth nursed the boy when he was sick and that he became a playmate to Marie Valerie and Sisi even had them photographed together and allowed copies of the photo to be sold. However, when the photo was caricatured in the newspaper Franz Josef became so angry he had all copies of the photograph and caricature destroyed. Another source said the boy was named Mahmoud (with the spelling varying according to source).

My question is though is there any information on what became of the boy afterwards? (The Weindel book doesn’t mention Mahmoud beyond this event). Or even to the accuracy of this incident?

Hello! I think Wendel is actually talking about a boy called Rustimo, who entered Elisabeth's service around 1877:

Rustimo with Archduchess Marie Valerie and with Crown Prince Rudolf.

There doesn't seem to be an agreement on how Rustimo actually entered Elisabeth's entourage. According to Corti, Rustimo was "presented to her by the Khedive [the title of the governor of Egypt]" (1936, p. 280), meanwhile Brigitte Hamann says that he was "a blackamoor the Shah of Persia (according to one of various versions) had sent as a gift" (1986, p. 231). Giving that in both versions he was allegedly a "given" to the Empress, it may be safe to assume he indeed had been enslaved.

Before continuing, I'd like to make a small detour to talk about an event from Elisabeth's childhood: her father buying five enslaved boys in one of his trips.

Soon after the future Empress of Austria's birth, her father Duke Max in Bavaria embarked on a several months-long trip to Orient. In Cairo Max visited the slave market, and was horrified of seeing "people being sold like cattle", as he later wrote down in his memoirs about the trip (Winkelhofer, 2022). It was then probably an attempt at altruism what brought him to buy five boys from the market and bring them back with him to Munich, instead of just an "eccentricity" as it's often put.

Why did I mention this? Because the boys remained in the service of the Duke for many years. As Dr Martina Winkelhofer points out:

They lived in the servants' quarters at the back of Palais Max, on the second floor. Elisabeth also had her room up there, but at the front of the building. Having to deal with black servants was an everyday occurrence for her from childhood. (ibid)

Considering this, it wouldn't have been "exotic" for her to take Rustimo into her household. But given the reaction of the court, it's not strange that previous biographers see this only as her wanting to offend Viennese society. Landgravine Therese Fürstenberg, one of the Empress' ladies-in-waiting, wrote to her sister in August of 1877 that (warning for racist connotations):

The Archduchess [Valerie] recently took the blackamoor along on the promenade, he was put in the carriage with the French teacher, who sat next to the heathen feeling shamed and sad; the Archduchess always gives candy to children along the road. But now none of them dared to come near her when they saw the black boy and tried in every way to avoid the monster and his bared teeth, so as to get to the candies; all this seemed a great joke to the little girl. (Hamann, 1986, p. 231)

We have (even more) explicitly racist comments made by Landgravine Fürstenberg as well as by Countess Mária Festetics, another lady-in-waiting, but I rather not share them, they're just too nasty and add nothing to the post. You can make an idea of how everyone felt about Rustimo.

And what about Valerie? According to Corti, she "was afraid of him and took some time to grow accustomed to him" (1936, p. 280). But she never wrote down her feelings about her playmate. In the over 300 pages of her diary, she only mentions him once, in an entry from February 24 of 1880:

At ½7 Puttl and Raab come and we both have a dance lesson together until 7 o'clock when we have a supper and then "Eile mit Weile" [a board game] with Rustimo. Papa comes after ½8 until 8 o'clock. Then I go to bed (p. 21)

Elisabeth had Rustimo baptized in 1878 (it was just unacceptable that the Catholic Habsburgs had a heretic in their service). He was given the Christian name of "Rudolf" after the Crown Prince, his godfather. The Empress wrote of this ocasion to her mother Ludovika:

Today was Rustimo's christening in Valerie's salon… Rudolf was godfather. It was solemn and ludicrous, there were tears and laughter. He himself was very moved and wept. (Hamann, 1986, p. 231)

Rustimo continued to ascend in the Empress favor, and in 1884 he was made "announcer of the bedchamber". He remained in the service of Elisabeth until 1890, when he was pensioned, and in 1891, Rustimo "was sent to the charity institution in Ybbs, where he died the very next year" (Hamann, 1986, 232).

Screenshot of the Official Guide of the Austro-Hungarian Empire from 1890 that shows Rustimo as part of the staff of Elisabeth's chamber (middle column, at the bottom).

While Hamann states that Rustimo fell out of favor in 1885 (she gives no source for this) and that after he left court he was abandoned, Winkelhofer claims that, while writing her two-part biography of Elisabeth, she found evidence that it was the Empress who payed for Rustimo's stay at the institution Hamann mentions, and also for his grave when he died (she wrote about this on Instagram but I cannot for the life of me find in which post, you'll have to trust me on this one sorry). Winkelhofer has said that the second part of her biography, which will be published on August this year, will have this evidence, as well as new information about Rustimo; she claims it we'll give us a new image of him. This is actually the reason why I hadn't written about Rustimo yet, I was waiting for her book to come out to have all the information we have available and make a more complete post.

As for the claims made by Wendel, I honestly don't know. None of Elisabeth's biographer mention anything of her nursing Rustimo, and clearly all the copies of the picture of of him with Valerie weren't destroyed, since we have it to this day.

Before finishing this post, one more thing: Muhammed was a different servant! We know nothing (yet) of him, in fact neither Corti nor Hamann mention him in their books. Winkelhofer just says in the first part of her biography that "the Nubian Muhammed Beschir, [was a] servant for three years until his return to Africa" (2022). But she has also promised to reveal what she has discovered of this unknown servant in the second part of her biography, and I can't wait for it!

I hope that you found my answer helpful and I promise you to update this ask when I get Winkelhofer's book!

Sources:

Corti, Egon Caesar Conte (1936). Elizabeth, empress of Austria (translation by Catherine Alison Phillips)

Hamann, Brigitte (1986). The Reluctant Empress: A Biography of Empress Elisabeth of Austria (translation by Ruth Hein)

Hof- und Staatshandbuch der Österreichisch-Ungarischen Monarchie, 1890 

Schad, Martha and Schad, Horst [ed.] (1998). Das Tagebuch der Lieblings Tochter von Kaiserin Elisabeth. 1878-1899

Winkelhofer, Martina (2022). Sissi. La vera storia. Il cammino della giovane imperatrice (translation by Federica Saccucci)

[just-wublrful]

the winds talk to the stars sometimes. that’d be nice. i’d like that.

The Worm King’s Lullaby, Richard Siken | Autobiography of Red, Anne Carson | The Chronology of Water: A Memoir, Lidia Yuknavitch | I Dreamed I Forgot, Leila Chatti | Henry and June: From the Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, Anaïs Nin | Letters to Milena, Franz Kafka | Eurydice, Margaret Atwood | Sue Zhao | The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket | Ross Gay | Elegy for the Four Chambers of My Brother’s Heart, Steven Espada Dawson | In A Dream, trans. Lenore Mayhew & William Mcnaughton, Anna Akhmatova, | Sue Zhao | Francis Forever, Mitski | The Hurting Kind, Ada Limon

[ID: An assortment of quotes and lyrics from various sources.

1. Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.

2. I once loved you,/ now I don’t know you at all.

3. What lived and died between us - haunts me still.

4. I dreamed I forgot you/ but to dream was remembering. I have words for you/ only, a linguistic fidelity./ Cherish and anguish and fool./ I look for you, I am finding/ out if I am brave. Last/ I saw you, it was the same disruptive season: robins trilling in the young/ flush, trees shivering/ pink all down the street./ I thought the ache/ would ruin me, and maybe it did./ Here I am in the beatific after/ still calling back to you.

5. “You carry away with you a reflection of me, a part of me. I dreamed you, I wished for your existence. You will always be a part of my life. If I love you, is must be because we have shared at some time the same imaginings, the same madness

6. ship to you (you belong to me, even if I should never see you again) [...] these I know, insofar they do not fall into the

7. was that you love him anywhere,/ even in this land of no memory,/ even in this domain of hunger./ You hold love in your hand, a red seed/ you had forgotten you were holding.

8. We loved, didn’t we? I was devoted to you, like a nail to a bed. A splinter to skin. Sometimes I was soft, though, do you remember?

9. “(...) I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close... I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else--and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”

10. I am sorry. I am grateful./ I just want us to be friends now, forever./ Take this bowl of blackberries from the garden./ The sun has made them warm./ I picked them just for you. I promise/ I will try to stay on my side of the couch.

11. We’re under the same moon and I’m sick/ with that knowing.

12. You and I/ are like grief and the mountain,/ we will not meet/ in this world./ But sometimes/ will you send across the stars/ A sign?

13. If I could have done it all again, I would have loved you better. But I could not have loved you more.

14. And autumn comes when you’re not yet done/ With the summer passing by, but/ I don’t think I could stand to be/ Where you don’t see me.

15. I see the tree above the grave and think, I’m wearing/ my heart on leaves. My heart on leaves./ Love ends. But what if it doesn’t? End ID.]

[ataraxiaspainting]

F A Q.

masterlist: it's in the works but not at the moment!

posting days: i'm trying to work on a more stable posting schedule for stories but i will most likely be answering inbox messages on fridays, saturdays, and sundays! mostly saturdays though.

tagging: feel free to tag me in anything! as long as the post in question does not do harm to me or others, of course.

writing history: ever since i was little, i've pretty much always had a love for making up stories and saving them on my laptop. i got into x reader works when i was in middle school i think... still am just as much into them now as i was back then.

art history: i've always loved to draw/sculpt too! i may not be the best at making art myself, but i have always loved looking at other people's works, especially paintings. my current pfp is actually a painting of ophelia from shakespeare's hamlet, done by alexandre cabanel.

music taste: i really only listen to classical and k-pop/j-pop, along with game osts. though my queen mitski breaks her way into my on repeat playlist multiple times a day. my favorite songs from her are buffalo replaced, i bet on losing dogs, i will, francis forever, my love mine all mine, i want you, stay soft, class of 2013, townie and last words of a shooting star. non-mitski songs are often either by red velvet, twice, king gnu, or kenshi yonezu.

book recommendations: i read a lot on days i'm not so busy, mostly reading thriller/horror stories. my main recommendations are notes from the underground by fyodor dostoevsky, i have no mouth, and i must scream by harlan elison, the cask of amontillado by edgar allan poe, the stranger by albert camus, the metamorphosis by franz kafka, uzumaki by junji ito, the talented mr. ripley by patricia highsmith, the collector by john fowles, misery by stephen king, coraline by neil gaiman.

favorite tropes: lovers to enemies, enemies to lovers, the reluctant hero, paying the price for victory, the mysterious neighbor next door, a deal with the devil, the unhappy ending, cults and religious extremists, mysterious things are happening, seducing an archenemy for an opportunity.

other fun facts:

-> i'm a criminology major.

-> i played a lot of instruments and sang a lot when i was younger. i'm trying to get back into it now. my favorite instrument to play was the electric violin and my favorite type of music to sing was choir-like osts like mourning from nier automata, lacrimosa from the one and only mozart, and song of the ancients from nier replicant.

-> i'm a huge animal lover. i often watch streams of horror movies, listen to video essays, or write while snuggling up with one of my dogs. i also often volunteer in community service, with most of it being either being at a shelter/adoption event or some sort of event involving a fundraiser in schools. i once happened to do an adoption event that happened to be fundraising more resources for schoolchildren, and it was one of the best moments of my life. got to pet a lot of animals too, and that made the time like ten times better.

CURRENT ANONS -> childe anon

this post will be edited/added to as life goes on.

[thatstudyblrontea]

23 books for 2023 📖

I was tagged by @booksnpictures and @leer-reading-lire to share 23 books I want to read this year – thank you!!! It's taken... some time to write them down during exams, but I made it. I'm skipping rereads and <20 pages stories that I plan on reading, but I'm including the books I've already read this year, my Substack subscriptions and the entries for the Tackle Your Classics reading challenge. Books from 14th down are really just books that have been waiting years in my shelves, and really deserve some attention!

Demon - Mikhail Lermontov

Carmilla - Sheridan Le Fanu

The 40 Days of Mussa Dagh - Franz Werfel

The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman

The Showstone - Glenn Cooper

Daisy Miller - Henry James

Benito Cereno - Herman Melville

Dracula - Bram Stoker

The Charterhouse of Parma - Stendhal

Bartleby, the Scrivener - Herman Melville

Young Goodman Brown - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Babylon Revisited - Francis S. Fitzgerald

A Rose for Emily - William Faulkner

Not My Father's Son - Alan Cumming

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

A Day in 2889 of an American Journalist - Jules Verne

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Saenz

The Time Machine - H. G. Wells

The Fall of Gondolin - J.R.R. Tolkien

From the Earth to the Moon - Jules Verne

Shakespeare Stories vol. 2 - Leon Garfield

*book I'll have to read for my thesis n. 1*

*book I'll have to read for my thesis n. 2*

I'll return to this in 6 months, to see where I'm at and how many of these books I've actually read (probably a few – I'm not good at planning my readings in advance). I'm tagging @problematicprocrastinator @the---hermit @studyingfilms (if you haven't been tagged already!!) and anyone else who wants to participate!

[astro-naut9]

Hello!!! I would love to introduce you guys to my OCs (and possibly, lore)! So here, have them first!!

Their name is Francis Wry and she uses whatever pronouns!

He is genderfluid and likes girls (one specific). They are 12-18 years old but is 16 in my main story (will be explained), so don't be weird!! They are Filipino, a rockstar, loves music and the universe.

Here are some other pics of them I could find (may be different but its because she explores a lot of styles. Usually has their hair short and dyed either red, blue, or purple, or just plain black [natural])

reference photo

WARNING:: bl00dy stuff after the see more !!

thts it!! ik i have some more but i dont have all my arts, they're like scrapped and deleted ://

[callisteios]

Drop the names of all the gay art from Greek god qiz plsssss

ok anon youve kind of sent me on a spiral bc i have a lot of art saved on my pc with titles like gay and gayy and gay2 so im having to a lot of image reverse searching AND i don't actually know which greek god quiz you're talking about since they both have a lot of gay art but here goes!

Jean Puy’s Girls sewing on the terrace

Frida Khalo’s Two Nudes in the Forest (The Earth Itself)

Franz Ludwig Catel; Maenad with a Goat

This is an illustration by George Barbier in an early edition of the Songs of Billitis (sidenote the songs of billitis is one of the craziest pieces of classics inspired media and i love it so much (side to aside if anyone knows where to buy a copy of this edition i will love you forever if you send it to me)

Eugene Delacroix Horse Frightened by Lightning

Gustave Klimt’s the Kiss

Herbert James Draper’s Ulysses and the Sirens

pablo picasso the Bull

Frans Snyders - Group of Birds Perched on Branches

two friends by francis picabia

il romanzo nel convento by Gioacchino Toma

This is a piece by Suzuki Harunobu but unfortunately I can’t find its name!!

Nicu Enea i think called the bathers?

the union of painting and sclupture by Louis-Jean-Francois Lagrenee

Friedrich von Amerling’s The Armed Maiden

Warren B. Davis possibly entitled Iele (or depicting them, im not really sure)

Eduardo Kingma The Evening

Gazbia Sirry, Women Talking

Erich Heckel The Dead Woman 1912

Paul Delvaux Entombment 1953

August Macke Little Walter’s Toys 1912

Pierre Antoine Demachy Two Fanciful Architectural Studies with Figures Date unknown

Joseph Mallord William Turner ?Boats at sea c.1830–45

Mary Anne Yerkes Early in Day in Desert Quiet 1965

Sarah Bernhardt Sarah Bernhardt Autoportrait c.1910

Leo Putz Hinter def Kulissen (behind the scenes) 1905

Nasr Abdel Aziz Eleyan Date/title unknown.

Edward Okuń The Four Strings of a Violin 1914

There you go! Extremely long post, sorry about that. Let me know if i got anything wrong, there are definitely a couple I’m not 100% about!

[glassfm]

(lewis   tan,   demi   man,   he/they,   forty)   **   ♔   announcing   FRANCIS   XAVIER   “FRANZ”   JÖNSSON,     the   KING   OF   SWITZERLAND!  in   a   recent   portrait   they   seem   to   resemble   LEWIS   TAN.   it   is   a   miracle   that   HE/THEY   survived   the   last   five   years   and   for   that   reason,   they   are   FOR  the   kingdoms   working   together.   reflecting   on   them   now,   they   remind   me   of   FISTS   CLENCHED   TOO   TIGHTLY,   THE   ECHO   OF   AN   EMPTY   ROOM,   LAYERS   OF   ICE   OVER   EVERYTHING.

❝   with   the   strength   of   sparta   and   the   patience   of   job   ❞

you   are   so   rigidly   self   controlled   that   it   borders   on   violence.   this   is   how   you   survive.  

you   are   told   the   story   a   thousand   times.   you   had   an   older   brother   once.   sweet   blonde   babe,   jönsson   blood   flowing   through   his   veins.   your   parents   could   not   have   another   and   saw   no   harm   in   taking   in   a   pitiable   spare   --   your   mother   birthed   you   in   a   harbor   they   had   visited,   bleeding   in   the   lowest   deck   of   a   foreign   boat,   and   your   kind   and   generous   parents   renamed   you   for   a   missionary   to   the   distant   lands   she   had   come   from.   you   decide   early   on   that   you   prefer   franz.   you   were   a   quiet   infant   agreeable   and   easily   pacified.   your   brother   died.   suddenly   you   were   a   problem.

you   grow   with   all   eyes   on   you.   you   are   judged   and   cannot   afford   to   be   found   wanting.   there   is   no   noble   in   switzerland   without   an   opinion   on   your   breeding,   on   your   manners,   on   your   speaking   and   dancing   and   shooting   and   every   facet   a   king   could   have.   a   king   could   lack.   your   mother   tells   you   that   she   loves   you   but   it   is   plain   that   you   are   not   the   child   she   bounced   at   her   hip   and   she   does   not   touch   you.   when   you   are   seven   your   pup   dies   and   you   sob   and   your   father   fixes   you   in   place   with   a   look   so   severe   that   you   know   you   have   made   a   mistake   you   can   never   repeat   again.   you   keep   this   memory   cradled   tightly   to   your   chest   like   hands   pressed   over   a   gunshot   wound.   you   learn   to   be   measured   and   calm   and   unaffected.   they   do   not   praise   you   for   it   but   the   stares   soften   somewhat.   in   your   head   you   make   a   list   of   slights.

a   line   of   little   siblings   are   adopted   in   your   wake   and   you   surprise   yourself   with   how   fiercely   you   love   them.   you   were   never   taught   affection.   you   offer   protection   instead.   you   keep   the   burden   of   approval   to   your   own   shoulders   and   leave   them   more   space   for   their   loves   and   their   rages.   you   cannot   say   that   you   are   warm   to   them   but   you   are   kind   the   only   way   you   know   how,   an   ever   watchful   shield   from   the   harshest   of   duties   and   the   sharpest   of   consequences.   kings   are   meant   to   be   the   protectors   of   their   people   after   all.

your   father   dies   as   fathers   do.   you   stand   tall   at   the   funeral   and   you   stand   tall   at   the   coronation.   wearing   the   crown   had   always   been   an   inevitability   you   could   not   entirely   imagine   happening.   you   had   hoped   that   it   would   render   you   publicly   unimpeachable   and   without   flaw.   you   learn   hope   is   for   fools.   the   whispers   quiet   but   the   eyes   grow.   you   marry   and   you   have   an   heir   and   you   rule   well   and   carefully   and   it   is   never   going   to   be   enough.   you   shepherd   switzerland   through   plague   and   you   vie   for   world   peace   and   you   are   left   with   the   constant   drive   to   make   things   a   little   more   perfect.   to   try   a   little   more   hard.   to   control   it   all   a   little   more   carefully.   you   are   the   head   of   your   country   and   you   are   still   an   outsider.  

yet   you   are   never   caught   being   anything   less   than   steady.   you   are   a   pinnacle   of   grace   and   poise.   your   calm   is   remarkable.   your   wisdom   growing   with   every   year   of   rule.   firm   and   fair   is   what   you   always   aim   to   be.   you   absorb   information   --   you   absorb   insults   --   you   never   forget   a   thing.  

inevitably   some   quiet   flaw   strikes   the   match   and   you   explode.   you   are   ugly   in   anger.   you   are   incandescent.   you   are   the   thinnest   and   strongest   panes   of   glass   and   you   will   leave   blood   in   your   wake   when   you   shatter.   but   that   is   your   private   shame.   that   is   the   hairline   fracture   built   by   ever   constant   ever   growing   stress.   you   do   not   allow   yourself   it.   you   do   not   allow   yourself   anything.

[sunsolar12]

felt so bad for 432 that I gave them a friend. is it even remotely accurate to canon? probably not. anyway, their name is Francis Smith (not to be confused with Francis Williams [who is the Sandwich Thief], Franz Matthews [they're missing], Francine Ostrovsky [She works in HR] and Francis Rodgers [hes old as shit and also is 547 while Francis Smith is 433

[best-habsburg-monarch]

The clash of mother and son that did actually happen when they were co-ruling. In this situation you get to play the part of Kaunitz and decide who is right.

Maria Theresa, Archduchess of Austria, Queen of Hungary, Croatia and Bohemia, etc. reigned 1740-1780

Joseph II, Holy Roman Emperor, reigned 1765-1790

Propaganda under the cut:

Maria Theresa:

From anon: - chucked into ruling at age 23. while pregnant

- no prep!!!! Prussia invades Silesia!!! Ministers fucking around for their own provincial interests instead of for the Whole !!!!! and she has to somehow cope with all of this ....

- ALL WHILE being pregnant with Joseph (II) and we know that guy was just as ornery in utero as he was irl

- she's everything! He (Francis) is just ....Ken.

- YAS QUEEN rediversify that gene pool

- originally reluctant to participate in the 1st partition of poland (who wants galicia let's be real)

Joseph:

From anon: "I mean... Does this dude even NEED propaganda?! If this guy doesn't make you root for an absolute monarch, then noone will. Like with the caveat that enlightened absolutism is still absolutism and thus still not a GOOD way to run a state - well, Joseph II. was truly the most enlightened of absolutists. Just the fact that he abolished serfdom and instituted religious tolerance in Habsburg domains is enough to make him stand far above all of his predecessors and successors. Like, all of the other contestants can go home. None of them could ever top that (Franz Joseph I. had several opportunities, but wasn't keen on taking them). Even his other reforms were at worst misguided, but driven by genuine desire to better his country. Plus, you have to feel bad for him - the poor guy busted his ass for the country, just to have to take back a lot of his reforms simply because they were too ahead of their time, both of his marriages were unhappy (partially his own fault, but only partially) and, lest we forget, both of his kids died young. Voting for him is the least you can do for my poor baby!"

anti-Joseph II, from anon: Joseph II anti propaganda cheated like hell and treated his nephew Franz I (II) really mean by denying him company and food sometimes and also insulting him all the time. only good thing about him was that he was in Amadeus (1984) which was a banger film

[pastelprince18]

How did Sylvia reacted when Franz disappeared one day?

Oh she was....mad. She knew there relationship was rocky but she wanted to repair it. She found someone she really loved and figured she would spend the rest of her life with him in Mayberry.

But Franz (belongs to @bowlerhatwearer ) wasn’t happy at all, he probably was in the beginning but it just slowly faded. Once she knew the best way to lock him in was having a baby with him. She didn't expect to have twins tho, they knew Dotty was coming but Francis was a surprised. Course she didn't want a boy but maybe this would rope him in still.

And it did, but slowly it too faded away and so he just left. The twins were around 5-6 at the time and this was the beginning of where Francis was getting physical and mental abuse. She didn't care to love him but only her daughter. She despite Francis with not to only look like him but to also share the same name as him. The reason she never torment dotty was cause she was “perfect”.

And she may never seen it but she was too tormenting her own daughter and would get mad at her if she were to protect Francis. Of course not how she hurt her own son but put Francis in closets so she won't be able to see him. (Even if that was a punishment for dotty to see her brother locked away it was already a punishment for him and made him have claustrophobia)

She blames her ex for hurting him, him for the divorce, him for everything. But even franz himself regrets for leaving but only cause he never wanted to see his two babies hurt and he wished he took them away 

[bowlerhatwearer]

I can understand why Franz was reluctant telling Dotty the truth, I mean "leaving your family because staying with your wife no longer felt right" sounds selfish on paper.

Greetings Anon

Tagging @pastelprince18 since I thought this question might interest you :-)

~~~

For Franz it was, very difficult to talk about it because he himself, does not understand it himself, there was just, those thoughts that told him it was for the best to just, leave. However him being hesitant to talk about it made it worse for himself because a part of him wanted to talk Dorothy, the part of him telling Franz that it wouldn't get any better if he continued not to talk about it, but he could for a long time, not bring himself over it to do it.

He was so worried talking about it with Dorothy, not because of how his daughter might react, he has accepted and knows that she has every right to be furious and angry with him, after all he left them all behind, but rather because he himself has difficulty understanding it, and it gnaws on him, he feels so sorry for what he has done, he just wishes he himself could explain it, but, he can't.

Every time, Franz wanted to talk with Dotty about it, or believed he had found the strength, he just couldn't, no matter how hard he tried it felt like as if there was a lump in his throat that made Franz unable to speak about it, and it just made him more nervous and sad that he couldn't talk about it for a long time.

I have to admit, I am not sure if it is Franz, who takes the courage one day to talk about it, or if Dorothy figures out that "Father Weißschloss" is her real father but it would be a very emotional confrontation, with Dotty, understandably, angry at her father for abandoning her but more importantly, having abandoned his son Francis who needed him the most. Franz would be an absolute mess, because he knows how much he has messed up, telling his daughter between sobs, tears and kneeling on the floor, how sorry he is, for everything and that there was not a single day where he did not regret for having abandoned them, leaving them behind with their abusive mother.

~~~

Yours sincerely

Bowler

[breitzbachbea]

10, 25 and 32 for the weird questions for writers!

Thank you a lot for this, kitay!

Weird Questions for Writers

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Has a piece of writing ever haunted me ... That's a good question, I don't think I have an answer to that. I have read some weird things already, like "Nichts" by Janne Teller or "Das Kartengeheimnis" (The Solitaire Mystery) by Jostein Gaarder, because my aunt gave that to me when I was perhaps way too young to grasp it. I should reread that one.

Haunt, haunt ... Books I read for sure had an impact on my life! But haunt? Does my own writing haunt me, because I think about it near-constantly? I don't know. I think there's a lot of ghosts in my mind and in the words I put on the page, but I can't call out anyone specifically.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Oh, I have a few of those!

Some Charlie ones: - Charlie has a giant extended family with a fucktillion cousins and he hates almost everyone. They are all on his mother's side and she hates them, too. It's mutual. - Charlie is neither a dog nor a cat person. His favourite animals are birds. - Charlie took Piano lessons upon his mother's wishes but got quickly bored and his father helped him dodge lessons and played football with him instead.

Some other ones: - Paddy's best friend Kilian has an older brother called Keith and their other best friend Angus has at least one younger sister - Some people have middlenames that are never brought up: Katta is called Katharina Lieselotte Schlosser after her godaunt (and her little brother is called Lukas Georg Schlosser), Robert is actually called Robert Brandon Bailey, and Fabio Fabio Giuseppe Bellini. Alois is called Alois Franz Huber and his sister Elisabeth Maria Huber, while Gwen (Charlie's mother) is actually a Gwendolyn Aoibheann Higgins, born Fitzpatrick. - Franci has an older half sister called Beatrice. They both grew up with their mother Daniela and he never actually met his father. - Michele's grandmother Lena actually wanted to become a musician, but was married off to his grandfather Giovanni instead. She's from Greece and never really learned Italian, despite living the rest of her life in Sicilian and raising one child there. - Michele also has aunts on his mother's side, but never met any of her family, since they kicked her out and disavowed her for dating Salvatore. So there's a very good chance there are some cousins of his running around in Syracuse. - Harry was the captain of his school's Gaelic Football Team! Didn't make him that much more popular with the rest of the students, but he and Charlie played on the team for a while and the Coach loved Harry. If shit hadn't gone upside down, he probably would have become a professional athlete for a career. - Robert's cigarette brand of choice is Mayfair, because once a cheap bastard, always a cheap bastard.

A lot of those facts are me shaking family members and friends out of my sleeves, but I can't, for some reason, recall other hyperspecific details right now. Tattoos maybe, that some people have? I don't dwell too much on people as individuals in the sense that I know them inside out, but I love to make OCs that aren't part of the story at all but populate the world oh so nicely. It makes it feel less like the world revolves around the characters I picked as the main ones and more like a camera just accidentally follows them ... If you would ask me, say, something very precisely though, like "What is XYZ's favourite colour?" I would be able to think about it and answer it!

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Some of these things I could maybe have put into the haunting category as well, but they probably fit better here.

I love a lot of quotes, but especially Gräfin Orsinas, from Emilia Galotti. Her "Die Unglücklichen ketten sich so gern aneinander" (The Unfortunate ones like to chain oneself together) is one of the top quotes of all time and I cannot even tell you why!!! I just like it, it's so ... compassionate and yet a bit overdramatic, like everything about her is. I love to use that saying when something goes wrong for more than one person.

Robert Harris' Cicero Trilogy has left quite the mark on my life. I really want to put this quote somewhere on my walls, because it motivates me like no other: "It is perseverance, and not genius that takes a man to the top. Rome is full of unrecognized geniuses. Only perseverance enables you to move forward in the world."

But the things that especially haunt me, that shake me to my core are scenes like at the end of the first part of Imperium, where Tiro describes all the senators who play an important role, sitting in the senate building during the setting evening sun ... He says he remembers them clear as day and can't believe that they, with their dreams and ambitions, like the building they are sitting in, are only dust now.

And one from the end, after Tiro is done writing about Cicero's life ... talked about his death ... As much as his death breaks my heart each time, despite it being inevitable, there is something so soothing to this end: "Often today I reread On the Republic, and always I am moved, especially by the passage at the end of book six, when Scipio describes how his grandfather appears to him in a dream and takes him up into the heavens to show him the smallness of the earth in comparison to the grandeur of the Milky Way, where the spirits of dead statesmen dwell as stars. The description was inspired by the vast, clear night skies above the Bay of Naples: I gazed in every direction and all appeared wonderfully beautiful. There were stars which we never see from earth, and they were all larger than we have ever imagined. The starry spheres were much greater than the earth; indeed the earth itself seemed to me so small that I was scornful of our empire, which covers only a single point, as it were, upon its surface. “If only you will look on high,” the old man tells Scipio, “and contemplate this eternal home and resting place, you will no longer bother with the gossip of the common herd or put your trust in human reward for your exploits. Nor will any man’s reputation endure very long, for what men say dies with them and is blotted out with the forgetfulness of posterity.”"

I had to reread The Cicero Trilogy immediately after the first time, because it ends in a way that makes you think "No! No this can't be how it ended! It started to well! All the fights we won! All the progress made ... for nothing?!" and bamm, you are back at rereading the Verres trial. Yet ... yet this was what probably made me sob the first time around. Maybe it all doesn't matter that much. Maybe you can find peace in tragedy, for it happened all the same ...

And ... I do have to shoutout two Fanfics. If only because I always bawl like a bitch when I reread Sadlygrove's Istanbul & The Bosporus ... Those fanfics made me unpack something I carried with me for 5 years in therapy ... I can't do them dirty and not mention them.

From "Istanbul", we have: "He couldn't do it. It had been… almost two hundred years since he'd last set foot inside the palace. And it wasn't even a palace any longer, he shouldn't feel oppressed by it. Really, if he were honest with himself, he didn't feel that way--oppressed, that was. He felt… sad. Haunted. There were too many ghosts there, both pleasant and miserable. The pleasant ones were worse."

[...]

""I'm not sorry for throwing that ring into the sea."

"And I ain't sorry for giving it to you."

Greece's heart began to hammer. "Did you ever actually love me as I am?" He already knew the truth. It was easier to forget it some days.

There was a long pause before Turkey gave him the closest thing to an answer Greece could have hoped for: "I will never let someone break my heart like you broke mine. Never again.""

I am sorry, but ... but ... I am close to tears just copying them. It resonates so well with me that the pleasant ghosts hurt so much worse than the miserable ones. And the dialogue, oh! OH! Nothing gets me like the "I know I hurt you. I know I hurt you when I loved you. But I also loved you and I will not deny that. I will not deny the pain and I will not deny the love. Both happened." Man fuck. I am crying again.

And there is also the end from "Mama Said Knock You Out" that lives in my head rentfree:

"For the first time in a long time, Sadiq tells the truth about himself: "No one's gonna love you like I do. Not now, not ever."

There was just the slightest hitch of breath: "I should certainly hope not. I doubt I could survive it.""

Mwah. Chef's kiss. If my TurGre Fanfiction "The Amulet" even only packs half as much punch as sadlygrove's does, I will die a happy and accomplished woman.

Oh, and how I found all of those ... Emilia Galotti we read in High School or whatever you wanna call Oberstufe, The Cicero Trilogy was mentioned by my Latin teacher when we did Cicero and my sister owned the first book. So I began reading it, stopped at some point but bought the entire trilogy in paperback just before I went to the Tagesklinik, aka ambulant psychiatry, for a few weeks. I first found Istanbul and Mama Said Knock You Out, because I liked A Persian Rug of No Importance so much ... Now, I usually only read porn and I avoided "Istanbul" like the plague because of the break-up tag ... knew my heart wouldn't be able to handle it ... and wouldn't you look at that, I was right! I bawled for hours after reading it and then had to talk about it the very same night in therapy.