#from the 300 episodes I’ve watched

[ejzah]

Me: Gets hung up on one tiny detail in a story that no one will really notice or care about.

Somehow misses five essential details and half a dozen typos.

[cinnamontoads]

got lost in the sauce watching character analysis video essays they gotta stop recommending this shit to me

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 15

The Buddy System

Welcome back to Fantasy High where the Bad Kids are still fighting for their lives and, more importantly, their grades. 

After a sterling start to their Last Stand exam, they still have a lot more test to get through before they’re academically out of the woods and they need a perfect score on the written portion to pass which is incredibly harsh but that’s Aguefort for you!

This is a very long episode where everyone gets to be so cool. Truly, you can see how competent all of the players and the characters have become as they carve a bloody path through wave after wave of enemies. 

As usual, it doesn’t really make sense for me to do a blow for blow recap of this fight but it’s absolutely worth watching. It’s an absolute delight from Siobhan and Emily irl making up a limerick in tandem to pass the Performance section of The Last Stand to Gorgug rolling truly more Nat 20s than I’ve ever seen in my life and almost solo-ing a *Purple Worm*. There’s not really any commentary that I can add to improve on just how amazingly they do in the episode. They’re forced to use the auto-pass stamp twice but only on the two most unreasonable things Brennan asked them to do–write a 300 word essay longhand in five minutes and do a (gag) math word problem. With those two stamped, they get 100% on their written exam. They even get some extra credit (partially due to Siobhan’s IRL LOTR geekery). 

Not only that, but Gavin (the proctor) only gets hit (I think) once and never actually goes down! None of the Bad Kids do. Hell, Adaine–their squishiest member–basically just sits at her desk the whole fight answering questions and slinging spells and she’s fine! Happy ending, A+s all around, roll credits, right?

No, of course not. Nothing is that simple–not that this was simple. They can’t just be the first party to ever pass The Last Stand without dying and have it be done. 

During the fight, everyone–but especially Kristen–has been suspicious of Buddy. She does an Insight check and sees that he seems on the level but that’s not enough to quell her suspicion. Near the end of the fight, she eats the Vulture King eyeball (granting her a minute of Truesight) with the intent of seeing who Buddy really is–a reasonable instinct considering Ruben was in disguise at the festival. 

She sees that Buddy is Buddy. She *also* sees Kipperlilly Copperkettle invisibly aiming a crossbow at Gavin. KP clocks Kristen clocking her, smiles, and lowers the crossbow, instead choosing to SLIT BUDDY’S THROAT. Buddy falls to the ground, absolutely DEAD. Not making saves. FULLY DEAD. A blue scaly hand touches her and they both vanish–Kristen can tell that the spell was Plane Shift (which is necessary for getting in and out of this testing pocket dimension). She frantically looks for a diamond to cast Revivify but her pockets have been picked and Buddy’s Revivify diamonds are gone as well. 

They finish the fight victoriously but Buddy’s death casts a pallor on everything. This was supposed to be a fight to the death but Buddy was the one person whose death wasn’t figured into the bloodbath. Gavin tells them that they pass the rest of the year with A+s but is shaken and thrown off kilter by the seemingly random murder. Kristen tells him what she saw and Gavin says that he was observing so he can vouch for the fact that none of them had anything to do with the murder but this is a crime scene and they have to call the Fantasy FBI. The Bad Kids are all super worried about Gavin’s safety since Kipperlilly was going after him initially, but in the end they agree to take him to the Council of Chosen office in Bastion City so he can be under their protection and to leave Fig’s phone (juiced up by Gorgug) in the pocket dimension with Buddy’s body in case there are any shenanigans (you know, besides him getting murdered which was already a pretty big shenanigan).

The Bad Kids drop off Gavin and then take a bus back to Elmville with a new mission: CSI Elmville, let’s get this bitch arrested! 

Editing to Add: This is a very cool post by @thisisnotthenerd that covers all the Last Stand Qs and monsters in the form of Gavin's proctor notes. Check it out!

Detention 

Kipperlilly for Icing Buddy

This was gonna go to Brennan for making a bunch of stand up comedians do math under a time limit but I can’t not give it to Kipperlilly here. She smiled. She looked at Kristen, smiled, and slit Buddy’s throat. There was no gritting her teeth like it was a hard but pragmatic choice. She was about to take the life of someone who fully trusted her and she did it with glee. There is something *deeply* wrong with this bitch, and we knew that already but hoo boy this certainly clinches it. 

Honor Roll

Gorgug for DESTROYING that Purple Worm

Everyone was in top form this episode but if I have to give it to one person, I’m gonna give it to Gorgug for single handedly holding back a Purple Worm, a monster so terrifying that there is an official D&D show where the premise is that all the players have to fight an OP monster they’re almost certainly gonna TPK against and the title is “Faster, Purple Worm! Kill! Kill!” Our boy didn’t even drop. That’s Maximum Legend Behavior. 

Random Notes

Kristen has the thought that she interrupted a truly horrible thing that KP was about to do and wonders what the crossbow bolt was loaded with. I didn’t mention it in the recap but I wanted to call attention to it because Brennan called attention to it. 

Also Riz got some footage of Gavin clearing them with his tie and Gavin sent their scores to the superintendent (not Jace to be clear–Tectonya Karkovnya who we met in The Seven).

Ugh I’m so annoyed because if KP and Oisin get questioned under Zone of Truth they’re absolutely gonna be dosed up with Devil’s Honey.

Buddy’s throat was slit and there’s no rune on his chest so presumably he can be revived if he’s brought to a hospital–hell Kristen could probably do it with a higher level spell–but I’m worried someone’s gonna slap that rune on him while his body is alone.

Do we think KP killed Buddy without a thought because she knows she lives in a world with revives and she knows it’s temporary or is she just like I truly do not care what happens to this (literally) corny ass cleric. I don’t know him like that. 

Once again, I love Adaine’s div powers so much. “You crit actually.” What a legend. Also love Fig coming to her with doubt and her just being like don’t be crazy and slapping a reticle on the monster to help her aim. I really love their friendship. 

Adaine is my favorite Bad Kid and I am first in line to throw down wrath on anyone who tries to mess with her. That being said, my favorite non-Bad Kid character is Aelwyn who has absolutely tried to kill Adaine and attacked her on multiple occasions and also is wanted for murders she absolutely did. My point here is that Oisin’s next moves will determine if he’s “surrounded by bad influences/I can fix them” material like Aelwyn or, “Throw out the whole man” material like that cop Antiope had a crush on. I am still rooting for the former but I will flip on a dime, do not doubt me. 

I tried that essay writing task and with 25 seconds left on the clock (I stopped when I finished making my points) I was only at 174 words and my hand was seriously cramping. So I would say, valiant effort from the Bad Kids but that was a *rough* ask. 

Kristen’s Bless really came in clutch! Honorary mention to her for that AND for having enough intuition to keep an eye on the Rat Grinder situation. I wonder if Brennan contemplated that might happen. 

Fig bug zapping all those flying monsters was chef’s kiss. 

Did Bobby Dawn fail Kristen specifically so she’d have to take the Last Stand? If so, he is indirectly responsible for his grandson getting iced. Hope that tastes bitter when he finds out but for all we know he’s one of those ends justify the means guys. Bleh. 

This season really is a love letter to all that came before it. The questions, the pentacorn, Adaine’s go to move even magically just being making a fist and letting it fly. I really love how much love Brennan clearly has for this world. And the 100% score the players got on the test shows they obviously love it right back!

Loose Ends

It is Fantasy High tradition for us to get a huge lore dump near the end of the season that ties together a lot of disparate clues and I hope we’re getting there soon because there are a LOT of loose ends we have yet to tie. Here are as many major ones as I can think of right now in case it helps spark productive speculation amongst y’all. 

Who killed the Loams?

Why the move to Loam Farm for Frosty Faire?

What specifically was Ruben trying to do with the symbol when he was playing at the festival? Presumably the thing Grix was trying to prevent?

Who killed Professor Badgood?

What were the exact circumstances behind Lucy’s death?

Who was able to put the rune on both of their bodies and what exactly was the goal there?

What is the Devil’s Honey being used for? What about the other things Aelwyn was getting for KP like Ambrosia? Why did she want a Cloud Rider engine?

How is Jace involved? Why is he manipulating Ruben?

How culpable is each individual Rat Grinder? Are they all in it together or are there varying levels of how involved they are?

Why were Ankarana’s domains wiped from heavens’ computers?

Why did Ankarna become corrupted and why was she forgotten? Were the celestial gods (Sol and co) involved?   

How did KP find the rogue teacher?

Also what’s her damage? Why is she obsessed with Riz? What are her anger issues about?

What’s her current goal? Who is she loyal to (if anyone)? Why did she want to know about Kristen creating a god exactly?

Why did Lucy change her god and then change it back?

Why was Buddy specifically requested by the Rat Grinders?

Why is KP running for class president? And is Mazey being principal a purposeful machination or just a weird thing that’s happening incidentally? 

What’s up with Spy’s Tongue Curse and Kalina only being able to say Ragh’s name? Is it related to that conversation between Kalina, Adaine’s mom, and Jace from SY?

Why wasn’t Ivy surprised to see Fig in disguise as Lucy who was at the time fully dead?

What’s up with the party vision that Adaine has now had at least twice?

Where is KP getting her money from?

What made the Rat Grinders become the Rat Grinders when they started as the High Five Heroes?

What's up with the shatter stars infecting the soil around Elmville?

Where exactly is Cass right now?

What does Ankarna want?

How does Ruvina fit into all of this?

Feel free to hit me up if there's something you think I should add to the list! Can't wait for next week. I'll see you then!

[tismrot]

UNHEALTHY, NEURODIVERGENT GOOD OMENS BRAINROT

It really gets to me - how my brain was my own (my obsessions, emotions and intrusive thoughts were about me, my life, my relationships) until I watched that last episode.

I’d seen Season 1 a couple of years back and thought it was cute. I noticed the #ineffablehusbands hashtag via Instagram and I remember thinking “aww” - I didn’t care all that much. It wasn’t a Thing for me.

And then I notice season 2 is out on Prime, I wait a couple of weeks to see it and then, having finished some other shows I needed something new to watch while walking on my treadmill.

First episodes were… cozy. I shamefully have to admit I went “oh, right, they had that impossible love thing going on” when watching these episodes, and I thought it would be nice if they got together by the end, and it certainly looked like it was heading there, in a meandering, fuzzy way.

By the fifth episode I’m quite invested, of course, and after Beelz and Gab revealed their love in episode six, I was like YEAH, now Aziraphale and Crowley kinda gotta, don’t they? Still no brainrot yet, just the regular “I’ve watched almost all of this show now and the main characters are into each other, so I’m rooting for them”.

And then, of course, the Final Fifteen. It took me from [casual viewer in her 30s] to [teenaged, autistic me, alone in my room all of the equivalent of junior high, obsessively teaching myself to read and understand Elvish, sewing elven dresses for myself that I wore to school, listening to nothing but Gregorian chants and the LotR soundtrack, watching the movie until the cassette was ruined].

I’ve now read Ars Goetia, Paradise Lost and Dante’s Inferno. I re-read all of Jane Austen (and I’m not even a fan). I bought the script book, I’ve read thousands of pages of fanfics, and I’ve written probably 300 myself (of which some is published. It’s not very good, but it’s there, I made it, it’s the child of my brain that was born from this obsession). I draw again, and I haven’t for years. Everything I do and say and feel finds a parallel or reference within then GO universe.

And. I mean. I may be autistic, but since the days in my room during my teen years, I have lived. I have been around the block and I haven’t kept my nose clean, I’ve been terrible and terrific and out there, I’m an extrovert and I’ve made so many friends and enemies, I have experiences. When I was 14, I had very little of that at all. I did not see the brainrot coming, I had no idea I was still capable, I thought my own life had been dramatic enough.

3 months later, and I still can’t sleep. I see them when I close my eyes. I watch other kind of media and make notes for my fic. I want to break free, but God knows I’ve fallen in love, and I am BROKEN over this. Give me season 3 or give me a stash that lasts until then.

(This gif depicts me throwing Good Omens out of my brain)

[icecreamisgay]

silly redraw of this scene from the albrittina episode (i’ve watched it 300 times)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

New Taskmaster lineup announcement! That’s fun, isn’t isn't it? Let’s go over some of the new people.

I first learned the news the day after I booked tickets to see Emma Sidi in Edinburgh this summer, so that was good timing. I booked those because I like her in some other people’s Radio 4 things, she was good in Pls Like, she does amusing characters on YouTube, I read some good things about her stand-up show this year for which she’s currently doing WIPs, and she hangs out with Rose Matafeo so she has to be all right, hasn’t she? Oh, and I’ve spent too much time trying to get my hypocrisy-averse brain to reconcile my dislike of the dominance of socio-economically elite institutions over the arts, with how many of my favourite comedians were in Cambridge Footlights. I’ve done the work of reconciling that already, I may as well use it a few more times.

I'm much less pleased about Jack Dee, but it could be worse. I’m pretty strongly biased against Jack Dee because one of the first things I ever saw him do was be on the QI Girls Versus Boys episode, which was the first episode of QI to ever feature two entire women. They had Ronnie Ancona on with Sandi Toksvig, and they discussed gender-based topics, and it was terrible. A lot of Fry-era QI was pretty bad; panel shows got a lot funnier when they invented diversity in 2014. Also Stephen Fry is annoying and Sandi Toksvig should be Prime Minister, but I’m getting off topic here.

The point is that the first time QI had two women on at a time, it was so they could make those two women listen to a bunch of gender essentialist bullshit that they used as answers to the gender-related questions. At one point, Stephen Fry explained that the gender pay gap isn’t real because women play fewer sets than men in professional tennis. One of the questions was “Why are there more men than women on panel shows?”, and I thought the answer would involve one of the 300 levels of casual and institutionalized sexism that women tripped over on the path from making jokes on the playground to getting spots on television comedy shows. Nope. The answer Stephen Fry was looking for was “according to an American study”, audiences don’t find women as funny as they find men.

Through this, Ronnie Ancona in particular did a great job of walking the very thin line between trying to point out a bit of the bullshit, while not being the "argumentative feminist", and being funny at the same time so she’s not a killjoy feminist proving that women aren’t funny. She did this funny riff about female comedians locked in a paddock, and then she went back and forth with Sandi a bit about it, in literally the first moment in QI history of passing the Bechdel test, and Sandi started to say something about how rare and nice it is that she gets to sit next to a woman on a panel show, and Jack Dee interrupted Sandi mid-sentence to ask whether the reason they don’t have more women on panel shows is “once you get them started they don’t shut up”.

Now, obviously he was joking. The gruff, curmudgeonly persona is his thing, and this was meant to be part of that. But he got in a lot of "joke" sexist comments throughout that whole episode, a lot more than anyone else did even though this episode was essentially dedicated to comedic sexism. It doesn’t help that the YouTube comments are full of people unironically agreeing with Jack Dee’s comment that women don't shut up.

I saw this relatively early in my time watching all the long-running panel shows, so that was the lens through which I saw all Jack Dee's other appearances, and maybe because of that bias, I noticed that he interrupted women a lot on panel shows, and picked a lot of inappropriate moments for sexist jokes, often aimed at women in general on an all-male episode, or at the only woman in an episode, always a woman who was used to always being the one woman on panels and hearing jokes like that constantly. But at least when most of the men made those jokes they’d have laugh to suggest they didn’t mean it, Jack Dee would just glare at the women like it was their fault. And yeah, being grumpy is his persona, but he would sometimes break that and have a laugh with the men. Never women.

I don’t even mind a good ironically sexist joke. Honestly, I probably mind them less than I should. I enjoy a lot of comedy where a better feminist than me would reasonably say “irony is not a good enough excuse for how offensive this is”. I know irony is used to mask genuine bigotry and I hate that, but also, if I’m convinced enough that the person isn’t masking genuine bigotry, I can laugh at some pretty harsh stuff. You need to build up some cred before I’ll trust you with sexist jokes. If Nish Kumar went on a panel show and said all women should shut the fuck up, I’ll be pretty sure he’s kidding and it’s all right. But if Jack Dee has enough feminist cred to make those jokes okay, then I sure haven’t heard about it.

Also, Jack Dee showed up on Catsdown a lot and did the grumpy thing similar to Sean Lock, but was much much less funny about it, and yet everyone else on the show treated him like he was hilarious, and that annoyed me. Also, after Sean died, Jack Dee sat in for him as a guest team captain once, doing his significantly less funny version of Sean Lock's shtick (yeah it was probably Jack Dee's shtick first, I don't care), and I had a strong visceral reaction of

All right, that is way more words that I’d meant to write about Jack Dee. Honestly, after all that, he’s probably not that bad. He was mildly funny in Josh Widdicombe’s mildly funny sitcom. I heard some of his recent stand-up recently, and a bit of it made me laugh. I just don’t like him because I saw him on too many panel shows.

Babatunde Aleshe I know almost nothing about, except that he’s supposed to have been particularly good on Off Menu once (I wouldn’t know, don’t do food shows), and sometimes he does reality TV. I’ve seen him on Catsdown and WILTY and Rhod Gilbert’s Growing Pains, where he was never particularly memorable, but he was probably fine. I hope he’s entertaining.

And then there’s seat number five, and that’s sure an interesting one. Of course I'd thought about Rosie Jones as a potential Taskmaster contestant before, but I didn't expect it to happen. Not that I didn't expect them to have any physically disabled people. They've had Jonnie Peacock and Lenny Rush and one of these days they’re definitely going to cast Adam Hills and he’ll win and then Australia will annoyingly pull ahead of Canada in the competition for who has the most UK Taskmaster champions (it’s currently 2-2). But all those people are able to do most of Taskmaster without disability accommodations. I didn't expect them to cast someone who'd need significant accommodation.

Having said that, I was very happy to see they’d proved me wrong and are, in fact, going to do that. I think she’ll be great. There are lots of ways to make Taskmaster accessible – just because I thought they wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean I thought they couldn’t.

Rosie Jones’ style of humour will go great on Taskmaster. Some recent seasons have lacked a bit of spark of contestant interaction in the studio, and Rosie Jones is always going after people. She won’t leave anyone alone, which I think will work great on the show. She can be the chaotic wildcard ball of energy that Taskmaster needs to really get going. And she is very funny. That’ll be great. I'm excited to see her get into it with Greg and Alex as well as the other contestants. And to see her yell at people when anything happens during tasks.

So that’s the new lineup announcement. Have I covered everyone? I think that's all the important stuff. It’s good to have the lineup out there.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hello JWB! Your blog is the best!!

I recently started my 3rd rewatch of Ipkknd over the past 10 years and reading your blog alongside is so much fun! Your navigation for the blog is so meticulous. You are absolutely hilarious and reading your posts reminds me of when me and friends used to discuss the new Ipkknd episode every day on our ride to school! Good old times 🥲

I have a question for you as someone who has watched the show at different periods in her life. There are some scenes which I had a different perspective of when I was a teenage girl compared to now as woman in her 20s. For example, in my current rewatch I get so annoyed at scenes where Arnav holds Khushi hard enough to leave a mark on her arms, but when I watched the scene as a 12 year old its not something that crossed my mind as abusive (especially when they played the Oh-so-wonderful Rabba Ve over those scenes).

So are there are any scenes like that which you looked at differently over the years with age?

Hello my dear anon!

Such a brilliant question - SO MUCH HAS CHANGED with age and time.

1. Arnav and Khushi’s sangeet. I was just so happy to see them get married that I didn’t think much about it but as I grew older I just really didn’t like it. They completely wasted Akash and Payal and I never understood Mami’s over involvement in the sangeet and also… Khushi lip syncing to lyrics instead of a yes I’ll marry you and WHY IS MAMI PLAYING KHUSHI AND WHY IS AN AUNT AND NEPHEW DANCING ROMANTICALLY 😣

2. The dabba service. I actually liked it when I was younger cause the comedy made me laugh. As an adult though I’m bothered that Khushi’s decision to be financially independent does not stem from supporting her family but that she needs to return 300 rupees to Arnav? And somehow we’re supposed to think she’s highly intelligent for working at her husband’s place, through his office kitchen and that’s a … victory? Also so awkward for Arnav to publicly be demeaning of Khushi and him getting furious that she’s “insulting him” but also Khushi getting rabba ve because he enjoys her food? It’s just too regressive that anything Arnav likes about Khushi is tied to bahu duties - that is cooking great food or calling herself his wife. Also Khushi just acts so childish in general I cannot.

3. Khushi’s behavior when Arnav lost his voice. I found her irritating. She’s too childish. The fact she expects Arnav will give her a gift to thank her for having done a “great job” like WHY can this woman NOT be intelligent is beyond me. ARNAV AND KHUSHI DONE SHARE THAT RELATIONSHIP! ALSO WHY DOES SHE GO AHEAD AND SIT IN THE DRIVER’s SEAT??? IS SHE A LITERAL CHILD LIKE I NEVER DID THAT WHEN I WAS 7 MYSELF! And it’s supposed to be funny that Arnav makes her do squats in front of a police officer? That’s demeaning to a woman who’s supposed to be your wife. It’s just really not landing for me tbh.

4. Khushi as a character is very annoying post elopement because she’s reduced to a childish caricature without a hint of brain.

5. I don’t think Arnav does anything great or romantic in the 24 hours track. He has emotionally and verbally abused Khushi multiple times. The one time she tries to leave house - that too for the sake of his sister - he makes her work around for money, threatens her friends so they can’t financially assist her and then takes over her property? I don’t find this coercion romantic nor do I find it to be “ASR” style. My guy was running behind to say sorry cause he was rude to her on the day his parents died. The one day where he’s allowed to be by himself and rude because it’s a traumatic day. (I have to see Khushi’s birthday and the sexy back massage in a separate context to enjoy).

6. I’m not ok with Arnav showering gifts on Khushi after he brought her home by coercing her. I don’t like how Khushi switches into bahu mode to make Anjali happy - girl you were threatened by your husband two hours ago and you’re busy playing Mrs Raizada? - and I’ve said this before but the sudden showering of gifts felt closer to love bombing and a reward for listening to him. I know Arnav is a man of actions - a man of actions would correct his mistake. I needed somethings to be better between Arshi to enjoy this.

7. I DO NOT LIKE THEIR I LOVE YOU DAMN IT. The fact it’s preceded by a very non consensual/dubious consent suhaagraat setup and that Khushi is busy talking about rituals than actually talking about what matters is… ugh. It genuinely feels like sexual frustration and my heart felt so sad that he’s dragging her around pheras to get done with it and Khushi’s elopement was traumatic.

8. Khushi tricking Arnav to light Janmashtami diya. Arnav is an atheist, that’s just as critical as following another “religion”. Would Khushi get a Muslim man to partake in Hindu religious activities by plot? No right. Would she be appreciate being tricked into having bread and wine as that’s the flesh and blood of Christ? Nope. The fact that they show wow Khushi is amazing she brought a NON RELIGIOUS MAN to partake in a religious amazing and thus has more influence than Lavanya on Arnav grates my nerves. I’m religious, and I cannot imagine imposing it on anyone - especially not to my atheist brother.

9. This is something small but I don’t get why Khushi can’t stay over the day Anjali miscarries and when Arnav asks her to stay back. Like something majorly traumatic has happened and Khushi still has to go by what will be acceptable for Dadi? That it’s not ok for Khushi to stay over? I get it if Dadi interrupted cause she’s perfectly terrible enough to do it and Arnav then wants Khushi to leave cause he won’t be able to hear another word against Khushi and she matters more. But also this is Anjali - there’s no way Khushi is leaving the house until Anjali regains certain consciousness and stability.

These are 9 moments that I didn’t like as I grew older (I have some stuff that I didn’t like right off the bat, lol) but here are also a set of moments that I actually grew to love the older I got.

1. A lot of first half Arnav. Very well setup as an anti hero with darker shades. His opinion on marriage and relationships is actually really good and I love the scene where he calls off the arrangement for his arranged marriage cause he clearly states that this would ruin multiple lives.

2. Shyam. I thoroughly enjoy a lot of his scenes because what a villain! I love all of his “nice damad” scenes cause it perfectly establishes why none would suspect and why Payal Khushi will have a hard time telling the truth to the Raizadas cause it’s just so impossible. I also love kidnapping era Shyam cause he and Khushi have AMAZING scenes and the show remembers that Shyam is KHUSHI’s villain! He really drives the plot.

3. I really have grown to love the scene where Khushi thinks she must leave Arnav because he won’t be able to accept aarav and that’s stemming from her own orphan trauma and that when Arnav does see her leaving he’s so gentle about it. He makes her sit, addresses her concern and that Khushi just bursts into tears and hugs him and admits she doesn’t know what she is doing and I love it that Arnav cares for her and Khushi is being her most honest self. It’s so underrated and SO beautiful.

4. Heer Ranjha in a different context. Because what Arnav says is an apology and perhaps the best one in the show.

Thanks for the love,

- Jalebi

[ieroween1031]

So I just wanna talk about this

Because for me, it’s super important.

So based on the research I did, the average price of a sit-down meal in Thailand (not a street vendor, fast food or a luxury, 3-course meal) is roughly ฿60-150 (or ≈$1.57-3.95, in case you were curious). Also, of the sites I looked at, most of them said that breakfast is generally cheaper than lunch or dinner.

(Also, this is all just research and it might be absolutely incorrect, so please take it with a grain of salt. The exchange rates are accurate, but everything else about pricing might be wrong.)

The two pink notes were left by Sky, and they’re ฿100 notes, so what Sky left (฿200) more than likely covered the cost of the whole meal. And then my boy Prapai slapped that purple note down, too. That purple note is a ฿500 note. For all my food service workers out there, this is the equivalent of getting a $13 tip on a table whose bill was $8 max, but more than likely only about five bucks.

This stood out to me the very first time I watched this episode, and it made me super happy. From what I’ve found, tipping is not considered rude in Thailand like in some other countries in Asia, but it also isn’t expected. When people in Thailand tip, it usually only means leaving their spare coins or rounding up to the nearest note (i.e, leaving a ฿100 note on an ฿85 bill). Prapai left their server almost a 300% tip, and homeboy didn’t even think twice about it. And he didn’t do it to impress Sky (because Sky would have just rolled his eyes and said he was throwing around his wealth and showing off, let’s be honest), since Sky had already left the restaurant. Not only does this show just how rich he is, but also that he genuinely does have a good heart since he didn’t even hesitate.

Therefore, I’m headcanoning that Prapai is that customer that every server wants, and if you’ve ever worked in food service, y’all know the customer I’m talking about, and you probably had/have one in your restaurant; most likely a regular, knows his server’s name, patient and polite, tips fat and every server in the building knows his name and wants him in their section.

Okay, I think that’s enough overanalyzing the tipping habits of fictional tv characters for one day.

[w0lfinsheepscl0thing]

1898: Forgetting Their Shadows - Update

Since last May, I’ve been developing an 1899 fic, and I’m as excited about it as I was when I thought of it. However, I’ve been in a writing slump for almost a month and it’s been taking away all my confidence and motivation. But I’m not going to give up on the project till it’s done! I’m mainly active on Instagram, so after I posted some teasers I made for it back in October, mainly because I thought I would somehow finish it soon, I completely abandoned the idea of posting on here till it was done. But, of course, things didn’t go as planned. I really want to keep working on this fic, so, in hopes that it’ll help with motivation, I’ve decided to try and post updates for it here, even if they are small.

But first, I haven't really introduced this project properly! Settle in, because this is going to be a long one…

How I Started the Story

(Feel free to skip this or any of the points to get to the info you want; a lot is rambling!)

In April, 2023, I checked out 1899 and was immediately invested in Ángel (and Ramiro, of course. He just came later). I had no idea what I was getting into when I started the show, so I’ll have to admit, I didn’t think I’d like it at first, and it took till episode three to really get into it. If it wasn’t for Ángel, I might’ve not seen the whole thing through, which sounds crazy looking back on it now! I started to visualize Ángel and Ramiro’s backstory and where they came from while constantly hoping they’d get their own episode, so when I finished season one and found out it was canceled, I was very disappointed. Not only because they didn’t get an ending, but because now I wanted to know everyones’ endings. It was by this point I realized how stupid I was to think it wasn’t worth watching.

Also, at this time, I didn’t use Tumbler and assumed (from an Instagram only perspective) that the community for the show was dead. I also thought the people I loved and wanted to see more of weren’t appreciated among the few people still active in it. I really wanted to see the backstory behind Ramiro and Ángel, so I tried to write it myself. It was… terrible in the beginning. It was written in a script format, the chapters were only 300 words max, and a lot of it wasn’t realistic, but at least it was a start? Over time, though, I figured out I definitely wasn’t the only person who wanted to see more of them, and it evolved into not just those two people, but the entire story of 1899. I’m really glad it changed to that.

What Exactly Is This Story? What is it trying to accomplish?

I’m writing every backstory, then hopefully seasons 2 and 3, but also trying to make them as precise and accurate as possible. They include some of my own twists, as long as they aren’t contradicted by anything already confirmed, but the point is to make it everything the show was to be and more. I want it to have all of the detail and thought that Bo and Jantie put into it, even if it is painstaking to map out. I don’t want to give too much away yet, but just to clear something up (mainly for my own sake), this is my own take on the story and it’s different from other backstory/finishing the plot fics; I’m really trying to make it as different as I can!

So, Where Are You Now With It?

That’s complicated. I thought I had almost everything done for Volume One (Spain), but after getting through a rough draft of Chapter Six, I was gravely mistaken. I decided to take a step back and plan as much as I could, so once Volume one is out, I can almost immediately start on Volume Two, and so on and so forth. However, with so many puzzle pieces, it’s been tortuous to plan. Right now, I think the best option is for me to pick apart everything pre-simulation so I can understand everything that comes next. The main goal is for me to map out anything and everything, so I don’t change things later that ruin everything I already did, then (finally) finish Volume One.

This is going to be a while, but I want this to be as perfect as I can get it. At least it’ll be done this year, and I hope you're able to stick around for the journey :).

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodweeb]

If you guys haven’t heard, technoblade or Alex has passed away

I wasn’t his fan from the very beginning but in covid, around one and a half year ago, I started watching minecraft and the dream smp

Techno already became my favourite

Over a year ago he posted a video titles “where I’ve been”

Technoblade usually didn’t really upload and us the fans made that an inside joke but when we heard what happened, we were shattered to our cores

Technoblade has been suffering from cancer in his right hand for over a year, in the video he had told us about how he found about his cancer

Hearing the news, many minecraft players put up a purple ribbon on their skin, I don’t play minecraft so I just put that in my usernames, it stands for cancer treatment

Then he made another update video, telling us how he’s going for physical therapy

After that he also made a vr video, said that he woukd continue the series, in the video he sound3d so much better, like his health was getting much better

Did we speak too soon?

Today in my area, at 10 o’clock morning I opened my iPad to see if stranger things’ new episodes have been released

When I suddenly saw a notification from techno, I got super excited that maybe he’s gotten better

But then

My heart sank

Shattered into too many pieces to count

As I read the title

“So long nerds”

I immediately clicked on it, forgetting about stranger things.

We were met by techno’s dad and his dog floof.

He told us that technoblade had passed away. At 10 o’clock in the morning, I felt hot steamy salty tears run down my cheeks as I gripped my iPad, hoping it was all a sick joke

That randomly we would hear techno saying “TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIESSS” or “CANCER, IF YOU WISH TO DEFEAT ME, TRAIN FOR ANOTHER 800 YEARSSS” but that never happened

Techno had left a last message for us fans

His real name was Alex, which he greatly trolled us with “Dave”, he wanted us to live long and happy lives

And he told us something we never had heard from him, but we always knew that in our hearts

“I love you guys”

His dad’s voice cracked and he also cried

Telling us about how much techno was struggling to write these words for us.

I and millions of fans, his loved ones, family, friends all miss him dearly

He was an inspiration for millions of kids in the world.

For me, his humour stood above all, he himself for me stood above all

I always had his potato war series in my downloads, cause I knew that if I was ever really sad then his videos will definitely make me laugh when no body else can

I don’t have words to describe how I feel

My condolences goes to his family and friends, who lost him as Alex

We lost him as a legend, a god, an awesome human being, and as technoblade

Maybe only Alex has left us, technoblade will always be remembered in our hearts, he will always be part of our good memories, where I would stay up till 2 just to watch his streams because of different time zones

And now I’m here crying, literally sobbing as I write this, I haven’t been feelings very well but today when I heard about what happened, I sobbed hard.

I remember feeling so excited when I would always hear “startin the streammmm”, it brought me joy and comfort which I am really realising today.

I’m sure many others have too

“Blood for the blood god”

“If you wish to defeat me, train for another 300 years”

“Damce potato boy, DANCEE”

“I dropped out of college because minecraft was the only thing I had the intellectual capacity for”

“Welcome home thesuius”

“My chats is bullying me”

He truly didn’t deserve to go

At age 23, he had so much to live for

But even in those years, he made the best of them

I will never forget you king

Your iconic moments and quotes are forever drilled into our hearts

We love you too

Rest in peace king

Rest easy

o7

🎗💜

Fuck cancer!

“Technoblade never dies”

Technoblade truly will never die

[disasterarea-podcast]

Okay, wow, so a bunch of new people followed me. Hi! *waves shyly*

So just for a little Podcast 101 introduction:

My name is Jennifer and I’ve been doing this podcast since the very last day of 2015. I’m a neurodivergent bisexual with a very cute beagle mix named Professor Pancakes. I like road trips, gay romance novels, and little crafty things like paint by numbers kits and mini DIY dollhouses. My personal Tumblr is @trollprincess.

Each episode of the podcast is focused on one disaster in particular, although I do sometimes stretch one disaster over multiple episodes if necessary. For example, not long ago I covered the Grenfell Tower fire, which took three episodes. I’ve also covered tangentially related emergency organizations and groups like care teams and the RNLI.

I wish I could say I get an episode out a week, but I have two other jobs, one full-time on the weekends and one part-time during the week, so episodes come out when they come out. To get them early, I have a Patreon for the podcast which can be found at the link below. I post episodes there as soon as I record them, and they’re also ad-free there.

My definition of “disaster” is pretty broad. I will cover anything from shipwrecks and plane crashes to financial disasters (“Cats” the movie is on my request list) to DashCon. Yes, I did an episode on DashCon. I couldn’t resist. (It’s episode 132, fyi.)

As an addendum to that, I also cover mass shootings. (It’s my podcast, I make the rules.) The rule for me on covering mass shootings is that the shooter’s name will only be mentioned once, if that, and that each victim will be named if possible.

As an addendum to THAT, disasters and tragedies can be very difficult subject matter. Please understand that episodes may feature death and destruction and decide accordingly if listening to each episode will be good for you and your mental health. I provide more specific trigger warnings at the start of each episode if necessary, but I will completely understand if a new episode is not something you’re comfortable listening to and you’d rather go watch Taskmaster or something.

There will be mentions of politics in episodes, but very much because emergency declarations, evacuations, regulations, etc. are an important part of disaster response. I also talk about mental health a lot, both for my own sake and to normalize talking about it. Like I said, difficult subject matter.

I am not a conspiracy theory sort of person. Don’t expect me to use the phrase “false flag” with anything other than sarcastic disdain.

You don’t have to start at the first episode! Honest. The first episodes of a podcast are almost a mess with people trying to find their footing, and this one is not any different. I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes, but I’m totally up for correcting myself if I screw up.

Every hundredth episode I cover a fictional disaster like a real one. Episode 100 was the attack on Nakatomi Plaza, and Episode 200 was the events aboard Trans American Flight 209. I’ve got a while before I decide what to do for episode 300.

Episodes I’d recommend: I’m very proud of episode 170 about United 93 (I read and watch everything I can get my hands on about 9/11, but I don’t plan to cover the whole event on the podcast because with the way I cover disasters, it’d be twenty episodes long at LEAST). I also very much recommend Episode 72 on the “Twilight Zone: The Movie” helicopter crash, mostly because someone told me to stop mentioning American movies so much so I did a whole episode in which I mentioned as many movie set disasters as possible. I’m also absurdly proud of myself for the Chernobyl series, because I never did finish the AIDS series and I learned I very much could pull it off. (I did mispronounce roentgen, but that’s on me.)

If you listen to older episodes, I have taken requests in the past but I am currently on hold with those because my request list right now is at 62 disasters. (Yes, including “Cats”.) So give it a little bit and let me get a few more done and we’ll see if we can start those back up again. 🙂

Thanks so much for being here!

[gffa]

I saw a review of a recent episode of One Piece by chance earlier today and the story looked really interesting and I’ve been thinking of picking it back up, but I have a DILEMMA:  I left off in the anime somewhere around Sabaody arc and I was having trouble with it because there was so much filler and I was somewhere around Fish-Man Island in the manga and watching scenes get dragged out for minutes at a time, totally wrecking the pacing, was killing my enthusiasm. BUT have I been gone from the anime long enough that I won’t have the manga’s pacing in mind anymore and can just enjoy the anime for its own thing? I originally started with the anime, watching all that was available up through the Alabasta Arc and I had no problems with the anime’s pacing previous to that! And I love love love Oda’s art, it’s insanely talented and I think it’s stunning to look at, but it does require a lot of work to get myself in the groove of it and train myself not to skip over background details in an effort to get to the next line of dialogue. But will I fail out if I try to catch up on, like, 300 episodes of anime or whatever? Or will I get back into the groove of it and be fine?  (How is the anime’s pacing for those that have kept up with it?)

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello there, I hope you enjoyed your summer break! I'm the INFX anon from the post on June 30 (721567168810057728). I struggle with anxiety so I had trouble opening your response for months, until I did so today. I saw that you didn't receive the second half of my message and couldn't make a thorough analysis based on just the first half, so I figured I could try doing sending it now. I stopped somewhere halfway through describing my Se Inf, so I'll continue with that.

[I'm going to copy the previous post to put everything together.]

Hello, I am INFX, 21 y.o. After reading your blog, taking some tests and understanding functions (hopefully) a little better, I narrowed down my options to INFP and INFJ. If you are able to, I would gladly use your help in determining my type. As for important information: I have a generalized anxiety disorder, I had depression for several years and I am still prone to depressive episodes. English is not my first language.

I will start with INFP functional stack.

Fi Dom: I have a fuzzy sense of identity, which is why I often don’t know what I like or dislike, get stuck, don’t trust my gut feelings, rely on others a lot in decision-making processes. I do tend to judge things as either good or bad depending on my beliefs, but the beliefs are weak. I don’t trust them unless they are built on a solid framework of knowledge and evidence. I need to know rather than believe. My emotions emerge seemingly from nowhere. I can’t identify what’s the reason for them and how to deal with them. But for some reason I still think I make decisions relying on my emotions, it’s just that if I always relied on them it would do more harm than good.

Te Inf: I have trouble understanding Te. I know Te is about external structure. Actually I rarely encounter extremely messy lifestyle as in Fi extreme and I can plan things decently, even if I don’t like doing so. Structure helps me and I need it in order not to become chaotic, so I always have an agenda and don’t like it when plans are cancelled. Especially in recent years I got better at structuring my life. Most of the time I know what to do to solve my problems, I just don’t want to do it. So I don’t think I’ve ever encountered Te grip (at least not from what I’m aware of). At my lowest points I did have trouble to take care of myself but I attribute it to depression.

Ne Aux: Ne is one of the few functions I can decently use and understand in a positive way. I often look for new activities to participate in, new hobbies (especially creative ones). I have 300+ tabs open at all times because I research many different topics at once. I can generate creative ideas (usually for my art) with the help of sensory experience (such as music). Often manifests in unhealthy ways - I use daydreaming to escape responsibilities.

I can find a lot of opportunities but I don’t indulge in them or follow through, which makes my interests shallow. I like making lists (of albums to listen, movies to watch, stuff to draw, things to do in general), but I rarely do what’s in those lists. I’d rather daydream about it than actually do something. This is one of my greatest struggles, because I have ideas and inspirations but they always stay in my head or on paper and never come to fruition.

What makes me think Ne is my Aux rather than Dom is that I am very risk-averse and not very extraverted (I know ENXP are the most introverted extraverts though), I have never been very positive either or extremely chaotic either.

Si Tert: I am prone to not stepping outside of my comfort zone. I want new experiences but at the same time I’m afraid of them. As I’ve mentioned before I am very risk-averse, not taking even calculated risks. Fear of failure holds me back. I’m afraid that the status quo may change not in my favor (it will all go downhill if I make a mistake, so I’d rather do nothing at all).

Moving onto INFJ stack:

Ni Dom: I struggle with perfectionism because I have an ideal image of things I want to implement and I’m too afraid I will fail to achieve the ideal; I have a perfect version of myself in mind which I strive to be one day (but often fail to come even close to it). I don’t have a clear picture of my future though.

I know that many people equate Ni with “insightful” thinking, which I cannot relate to. I “predict” the future in a negative way, always expecting a catastrophe and feeling paranoid at worst. I often jump to pessimistic conclusion way before anything bad happened. I keep telling myself that it’s better to keep expectations low in order not to get disappointed.

Se Inf: I cannot engage with physical world because of escapism. When I’m outside I don’t notice my surroundings at all. I go through life on autopilot. Even when I try to be present and focus on the current moment, my sensing is dulled, almost muted, and the engagement feels shallow. I’m always in my head, made-up scenarios are more comforting to me than the real world. I reflected on it for some time and decided depression is not to blame because my Se was unhealthy/unused before that as well, it just escalated.

My partner (ISFX) helped me feel more grounded so now I'm more aware of what's going on around me, but I'm still not satisfied. I feel disappointed after any external stimulation, such as watching a movie. Even though I listen to a lot of music, I often joke that I hate music because most of it makes me feel nothing and feels boring. Since nothing (or very little) touches me emotionally, I find it very difficult to form opinions about what I experience (unhealthy Fi?).

At the same time I fall back on Se when I feel very bad, e.g. I used to go on long, 7-10 hour walks when I was depressed, physically exhausting myself so I would not feel a thing. Still prone to this, doing something physical feels like an easy reward (you're still technically doing something even if it's meaningless).

Fe Aux: I value equality greatly and I am quick to jump into others' shoes (although I do not consider myself empathetic). I rely on others in decision-making process, I have to accumulate different viewpoints before setting my mind to something. I think my Fe is not healthy because I jump to extremes, desperately avoiding intimacy and social connections in general but trying to live up to possible expectations of select few whose opinion matters to me (such as my family or my partner).

I am afraid that authentic expression of myself is not something others would like, so I suppress my voice even when I have something to say. I avoid conflicts. I am ashamed of my preferences, likes and dislikes. I often envision a version of myself that would be palatable to most people. I often shut myself off from my friends and tend to think that I don't need friends in general. I also perceive every social interaction as a contest which I should win, when I compare myself to others I feel sick, so I avoid social situations.

Ti Tert: I have a strong fear of inferiority (from my underdeveloped Fe). I rarely notice any possible signs of Ti loop though. One thing I have encountered is falling back on intelligence to boost self-esteem. But since I believe that I am uneducated and unintelligent, this mechanism fails.

I also noticed the pattern of avoiding people whom I perceive as high-developed Ti or Ti doms because they make me feel lesser and uncomfortable. I am envious of their vast knowledge and the ease with which they share it. I wish I had more knowledge because my self-esteem depends almost entirely on it, I need to feel "smart", it pressures me to develop Ti but I fail.

I think that is pretty much it. Sorry it took me so long to give a complete answer, it's all a bit of a mess. I hope I followed your instructions properly. I think my main question is whether the conflict that is most prominent in my functional stack is Ne-Si or Ni-Se.

-------------------------------

As I said previously, the INFP stack doesn't fit. There is more than enough counter-evidence to rule it out. As for the INFJ stack, all functions fit quite comfortably. The negative patterns and characteristics you describe are typical for immature INFJs. I think you suffer from Ni-Ti loop much more than you are aware of. Perhaps it's a good idea to read through past INFJ posts to understand your issues better.

[justinewt]

Heavy Hearts - THE 100 REWRITE Chapter Twenty-Two

[THE 100 MASTERLIST]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: It took Pike less than 24 hours after being elected Chancellor for things to go downhill. And Michelle's relationship with Bellamy was one of those things that quickly withered, for the sole reason that he chose the wrong side, thinking Pike was giving him a purpose; to help protect their people. To them, that meant starting trouble, maybe even causing a war, with the Grounders...

Words: 7k

Warnings: The 100 season 3 spoilers (episode 5 “Hakeldama”; episode 6 "Bitter Harvest"), blood, mention of mass killing, emotional distress, nervous breakdown, grief, betrayal

It had barely been a day since Pike took the lead at Arkadia and the group of nine of his minions, including Bellamy, were returning from their mission to exterminate the 300 Grounders who were stationed nearby to protect them. Michelle was outside of the Ark ring, drinking from a flask which concealed inside alcohol she had taken from the bar in the hangar last night. The last time she found herself drinking a whole bottle was when Murphy left with Jaha, a good three months ago. She was just so over it she didn’t know how to deal with the conflicting emotions within her. Her feelings for Bellamy, which she had tried to bury after it became too much for her, came into conflict with her frustration with the fact that he let Pike use him like this. Seeing the gate open and Pike’s group walk in, she stared at Bellamy who walked at the front. His bulletproof vest was covered in blood. She looked around, sliping her flask in her pocket and she moved closer to her father and Abby who were watching the comers with just as much shock on their faces. Everyone in the area had their eyes on them. It wasn’t just Bellamy who had blood everywhere, it was all of them. Octavia ran up to her brother, understandably worried but he seemed to kind of just brush her off, not even glancing at her, trying to be imperturbable. Or at least she hoped it was an act because it would mean he was beginning to understand and see what was wrong with all this.

“Lock it up.” Pike ordered the gate closed at he brought up the rear of the group. Bellamy had stopped in the middle of the ground, his head tilted forward, his gaze shifting around until he met Michelle’s. At the same time, Pike jumped on a stage, calling for everyone’s attention. Michelle crossed her arms, almost in sync with her father next to her. “Twenty-four hours ago, you elected me your Chancellor. Every action I’ve taken since, and every action I will take, will be to achieve one sacred goal. The creation of a self-sustaining, prosperous, and safe Arkadia.”

“Yeah.” The crowd agreed.

“This morning, on a muddy field, our people paid tribute to those who have been taken from us by sending a message to the Grounders. This land is ours now.” People cheered loudly, under the judgemental eye of Michelle as she frowned. Pike looked like a madman to her, speaking in such a fierce tone. “Resist, and you will be met by force. Fight and you will be greeted by death. Today is a new beginning. Mark it down, remember it just like the Grounders will remember it.”

As the cheering increased, Pike walked down and his group followed him, Bellamy at his heels as they walked past Michelle, Kane and Abby. This time no glances were exchanged between the two young people, and she just stared at them, gripping her arms tighter.

“No wounded.” Abby nodded quietly. “10 against 300 and there’s no wounded. How’s that possible?”

“10 with automatic rifles against 300 with swords, spears, and bows. Take down the archers and the rest of them will drop like flies.” Michelle said in a sigh. Her father and Abby looked at her. She was quick to understand how Pike, Bellamy and the others had gone about exterminating the Grounders. Get rid of the ones protecting the camp, the others with their blades won't stand a chance in front of bullets coming at them. While Abby headed to the infirmary, Kane and Michelle slipped away into a dimly lit corridor of the Ark ring with Octavia. With no one around, it was time to make a move. Kane informed the two girls that Indra had signaled and wanted to meet, meaning she had survived the massacre orchestrated earlier and he gave this mission to Octavia. He lifted a panel on the wall and gave her the direction to the crawlspace door, dropping her right outside the camp wall. She didn’t need much more convincing and slipped right in. An alarm went off as an announcement called for Kane to go to the Chancellor’s office. He closed the panel and turned to Michelle.

“I’ll go see Pike. Go to Abby and stay out of his sight. We don’t know what he will do next.”

“But—”

“Michelle, please. Listen to me.” She let out a sigh and nodded before heading to the infirmary outside, after asking her father to try and knock some sense into Bellamy if he came across the latter, and he left for Pike’s office. As she walked away, she realized how much their relationship had grown in less than a year. If he had asked her to listen to him back on the Ark, she would have spit in his face, which she did and there she was, barely rolling her eyes at the request and obliging. It may also have had to do with the fact that she was forced by circumstances to mature more quickly, even though she was only 18 years old. She was somewhat of a brat and very much insecure before she was put in solitary confinement but being thrown into the real world, having to take decisions for her survival as well as that of her friends, it really pushed her to being more of an adult when she had barely left adolescence. Now, she also had a parent to support and guide her through all of this when all of the young romances she got into ever only fucked her up even more. It didn’t mean she would always be so complient, otherwise she wouldn’t have sneaked out of that cave with Bellamy, ending up with a concussion and bedridden for days.

She casually exited the ring, tucking her hair behind her ears, and tying it as she headed towards the infirmary. She walked around the gigantic structure from the outside since she had thought, if Bellamy was somewhere, it was where Pike was, and that would be inside. She really didn’t want to see him right now. She walked across the camp and noticed that the gate was open. Curious, she turned away from her original path to go see what was going on. Though she knew her father had specifically asked her to go to Abby, it made her think of why he was so worried. It probably had to do with the fact that even if she could be mature at times, he was aware that she was still young and could be reckless and if she happened to behave in a reckless manner in front of Pike, it would be purely for provocation and that could get her in trouble. Pike wasn’t the annoying Earth skills teacher that he was on the ark, he was the new Chancellor, and he was aggressive. And because she wasn’t scared of him, it could enrage his followers and put her in danger, which Kane wouldn’t let happen. Maybe knowing that she was kind of protected, no matter what she would do, made her a little more confident and more daring when it came to Pike.

She slowed down, eventually coming to a halt and watched the Arkadia guards walk outside the campgrounds. She saw someone with their face covered up and only the eyes visible. Another man was standing there, his hands up. She squinted her eyes, moving to the side to get a better sight and she almost lost her balance, tripping on her foot when she recognized Jaha. It made her look for Murphy, thinking it might be there as well but there was only Jaha and the other veiled stranger. She watched the group of men talk, unable to hear anything they were saying because of the distance but she quickly felt the friendly reunion turned quite hostile when the guards’ interest fell on his companion and the weird bag he was carrying. One went to snatch it from the latter, and they fell to the ground, fighting. Jaha yelled his name as a gunshot went off. The man rolled off the guard onto the ground, his hand still stretched out to the bag before he rolled on his back. The former Chancellor, troubled by the sudden violence walked to the Farm Station guy that came up to him and retrieved his bag while they called out for a medic. Michelle tightened her lips, looking at the man lying on the ground. All she could think of was that since Pike had taken command, the guards were much more reactive, quick to shoot those whose faces they didn’t like. Those being exclusively Grounders, of course. Jaha kneeled next to his friend, telling him a few words, and hugging him as his body stopped twitching. She was taken out of her contemplation when Abby walked past her.

The man was carried away while Jaha and Abby entered Arkadia. Jaha saw Michelle standing there and for some reason, he seemed pleasantly surprised to see her. She just looked back at him; a little sad Murphy wasn’t with him. There was something about Jaha that bothered her, and it was the same than months before, when he left. He was acting too peaceful, smiling at her as if they were friends. Well, she did use to be very good friends with his late son, but she had never been as close to him as Clarke was. He faced her and patted her shoulders, being all too friendly for her taste. She wasn’t even sure a greeting made its way out of her mouth. This awkward reunion was quickly over, and she followed them to the infirmary.

“Where’s John? I thought you left together.” She asked him once Abby was done telling Jaha about all that had happened recently. Jaha chuckled at her eagerness to know the boy’s whereabouts. She glanced away, brushing her hand over her hair.

“Don’t worry about John, Michelle. That boy is a fighter. That might be one of the few things you two have in common.” His smile was meant to be warm and reassuring but she didn't like Jaha's new behavior since he became obsessed with this city of lights thing. Abby continued the conversation. Michelle began to walk back and forth next to them before seeing her father come in from the other side of the room. She instantly wondered what he and Pike had talked about. He looked at her and gave her a smile. Unsurprisingly, she received his smile much better than Jaha’s.

“And the others? You left with 12 people, Thelonious.” When Kane walked past his daughter, he saw Jaha and stopped in his tracks, shocked at the man sudden reappanrance in Arkadia, which was still named Camp Jaha, not too long ago. The two men shared a hug.

“Where’s your uniform?” Abby wondered, seeing he wasn’t wearing his black jacket anymore. Michelle hadn’t even noticed it.

“Pike just relieved me of my command. Stripped Lincoln of his commission.” He looked back at Jaha. “You always did have good timing.”

“Abby caught me up. I’m sorry about the election, Marcus.” It was a little weird for Michelle to hear her father’s name said outloud. Nowadays she called him dad but for 18 years of her life, she had called him by his last name, and it was the only other denomination that made sense in her head. She sometimes wondered about how Kane would have been her last name if her mother didn’t keep from him the fact, he was her child’s father.

“Forget the election.” He brushed it off. “The war you predicted the day you left is about to happen.”

“Ask him where he’s been.” Abby chimed in.

“I found the City of Light.” Michelle frowned at his claim. She just thought it was complete bullshit and her father was a little dumbfounded too.

“Well, that’s great. Isn’t it?” His slow and unsure delivery gave away his doubts regarding the topic.

“Ask his friend, Otan.” The Grounder that was shot outside the camp was wrapped up in a sheet, on a bed in front of them. The blood stain above the bullet wound had stopped spreading by now. “Apparently, he’s there right now.”

“I don’t blame you for doubting, Abby. I know how it sounds. But it is real, and it is incredible.”

“More like unbelievable.” Michelle let out, raising her eyebrows.

“One day you’ll be able to go there and see how wonderful it is.” He turned his head back to Kane, looking at the old Chancellor with doubt flooding his eyes. “Everything that you worry about now, war, power, none of it matters in the City of Light.”

“I heard you were here, Sir.” Hannah, Monty’s mother came up from behind Kane and went to shake hands with Jaha. Michelle began to wonder which sides he would take.

“And I heard you made it, Hannah. I’m so glad.”

“Chancellor Pike would like to speak with you.”

“We’ll finish this later.” His face looked much more serious as his gaze passed over Kane, Michelle, and Abby. The young woman watched him walk away from the corner of her eyes. A moment after Kane had left, Pike and a whole bunch of guards, with Bellamy among them, stormed in the infirmary. A soldier ripped the blanket off a woman lying on a bed. Michelle stood there, upset at what she was witnessing. She tried to lay low like her father asked. A guard pushed her out of the way, almost making her fall over. She stumbled, clinging to a bed’s iron frame next to her and holding herself against it so as not to be pushed again.

“Grounders, on your feet, line up now.”

“What are you doing? These are sick people.” Abby turned to Pike, outraged. “You can’t just throw them out into the cold.”

“We’re not. They’re being interned.” He explained to her as Michelle approached. Bellamy stared into the void and they both ignored each other.

“What?” Abby turned around when she heard someone hurriedly coming in. That’s when Bellamy decided to open his mouth.

“Lincoln, you don’t want to be here right now.”

“We asked them to come here.”

“We can’t spare the supplies.” Lincoln quickly looked away when a friend of his was being sat up on her bed, to be taken outside like the others. One of Pike’s dogs faced him, his hand on the gun at his belt. The woman grunted.

“She’s too sick to move.” He growled.

“Looks like she’s moving just fine to me.” Bellamy stepped in, telling him to back off and turned to Jackson, wanting to know why he even brought the Grounder here. At the same time, the sick woman they were forcing to stand up fell to the ground, groaning in pain as she was indeed too weak and sick to move. She needed more rest, but Pike and his minions wouldn’t let her. With a single punch, Lincoln put the man to the ground and Abby stretched her arm out in front of Michelle, moving her behind her. But the first hit wasn’t enough, and Lincoln bent over, grabbing him by his jacket and repeatedly punching his face. Blood spurted on the ground.

“Lincoln—” Bellamy tried to pull him off him, but he received a punch and fell backwards. Michelle let out a gasp and widened her eyes. She tried to take a step forward, but Abby held her behind her back.

“Lincoln.” The girl called out to him as Bellamy as he continued to walk towards Bellamy once the latter had gotten up. She might be on the same side as him, but she couldn’t deny she still had feelings for him. She was more frustrated rather than angry at him because she thought him siding with Pike made him look like a stupid sheep. Abby didn’t let go of her but she walked in front of the doctor and called out to him louder. They looked to the side and Pike had stepped forward, holding his gun low in front him, pointed at the girl at the feet of the bed.

“He goes with them.” Pike declared and motioned his head for his men to take him away as well. Michelle watched them handcuff him and swallowed bitterly. Her eyes shifted back to Bellamy, and they looked at each other, both a little unsettled.

“Sorry we had to do this the hard way.” Abby turned to Pike, anger in her eyes and she tightened her grasp on Michelle’s arm before leaving, dragging her out of the infirmary. She only broke the eye contact with Bellamy as they crossed the door’s threshold. As long as he was with Pike, he wasn’t the one she used to know. Michelle had no idea what Abby had in mind leading her down this maze of hallways until the two women found Kane. The doctor quickly explained the situation to him, and the small group no longer had many options available to them; They had to leave Arkadia before it was too late, and before Pike decided to get lock them up or get rid of them like he did the Grounders. News to Michelle, Clarke had been sneaked into camp by Octavia, who they sent for after she left her to talk to Bellamy alone. A few minutes later, while Kane, Abby and Michelle waited in front of the amovible panel to the crawlspace, Octavia and Clarke came running to them. The latter threw herself in her mother’s arms. Seeing her childhood friend after so long had Michelle a little taken aback until the blonde drew her into a hug.

“We know what happened. We know what Pike did. Is there anything we can do to prevent a retaliation?”

“Abby, hurry.” Kane urged her. He had their way out ready.

“We came here to give them Pike.” Octavia stated.

“He’s the duly elected Chancellor. Our people knew what they were voting for. Besides, he has the guards and all the guns. Can’t get close to him.”

“And that’s not the way we do things.” Abby added.

“Then maybe it’s time we changed the way we do things.” As Octavia spoke, a voice rang from the speakers in the camp, announcing a security breach. A lockdown was commencing and if they wanted to get out, their time was running out. “What about Lincoln?”

“You want to help him?” Kane pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her. It was a radio. “The range isn’t great. Stay close and wait for me to contact you. Go.”

“You’re staying here?” Michelle took a step towards her father before following Clarke inside the opening. The latter was having a quick talk with her mother as well. Both wished their parents would come with them.

“Go with Octavia and Clarke, I’ll contact you.” He put his hand on her shoulder.

“I won’t be of any use to them. I’m staying here with you… it’s not safer outside.” She argued quietly and he sighed, feeling that he couldn’t really convince her to leave this time. He might be afraid about Pike, but she was really set on staying with her father inside the camp. And she felt like she would be a liability to Octavia out there. She was a survivor who knew the ways of the Grounders and Michelle was just a girl whose dad wanted far away from the unpredictable Chancellor. He looked at her with worry and drew her into a hug.

“Just stay away from Pike.” She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t promise not to talk to Bellamy if she crossed paths with him. Once Abby and Clarke said their goodbyes for now, they broke their embrace and Kane closed the panel. As her face disappeared in the dark crawlspace, Michelle and Clarke stared at each other. They would meet again once things settled down and it would be a real reunion this time around. Clarke had to go meet up with Lexa and it would probably take her until nightfall to reach the Commander. Michelle kept a low profile, staying in her room until the sun rose the next day and she thought, for just a second, that she had woken up in Bellamy’s room like that night when she kept him company after Gina's death. They had fallen asleep, sat on the floor and she woke up to the realization that he had carried her onto his bed.

She stood up and went straight to take a shower, letting the water run down her face as she stared into the void. It felt as if everything was hitting her at the same time after all those months, her mother’s death, her fling with Murphy and his departure, the complicated beginnings of her relationship with her newly found dad and the romance she could have had with Bellamy and which she threw away, and now, he was siding with one of the few people she despised. After a few seconds, she felt her face twist into a pout as she tried to fight her urge to cry, letting out a whimper. She crouched, wrapping her arm around her knees, and put a hand on her mouth and began to sob like a child, strands of her waterlogged hair sticking to her face. She was crying like a child who had just lost her mother and was left alone with her thoughts and feelings for too long. Having to survive, she was actively trying to suppress all of it, to stay focused but after keeping it all to herself and never talking about it, she couldn’t help but break down in tears where no one could see her.

Her head was hurting quite a bit after bawling her eyes out for almost ten minutes straight. She tried to put a wet cloth on her eyes for a moment, to lessen the redness and swelling but she eventually left and went to the infirmary to help Abby around. Her hair was still damp, and she slicked them back to have them out of her face. She walked out of her room, putting on her jacket, not really paying attention to her surroundings. Her mind was still clouded by the overflow of feelings of mourning and grief. Without Clarke, or even Murphy, she felt especially lonely and even though she wanted to go to her father right now and just cry in his arms, she thought they had more urgent things to do. She, once again, set aside her feelings and focus on everything else. Until the next breakdown.

Michelle wanted to go and stay in the hangar, to have a drink and be alone but still somewhat surrounded by a few people, but she took a detour through the infirmary. Her headache didn't seem to want to leave her and every step she took as well as the slightest attempt at looking around made her grind her teeth. She passed Raven as she entered while the latter was leaving the room. The mechanic gave her a smile that was strangely friendly, and she seemed at her best, despite her bad leg. Michelle stopped in her tracks and watched her walk away for a second. She would have thought that the injury completely prevented to walk without wincing but there she was, acting like all her pain was gone, as if by magic. She looked away, wondering what it was that helped her and whatever it was, it tempted her. She turned back to Abby, standing by the bed Raven had sat up from. The doctor was writing down a few things on a notepad and she raised her head when she noticed someone approaching.

“Are you okay?” She rushed to look at her face more closely, illuminating her pupils with a small flashlight, worried to see her so tired and had her sit down on the bed. “Your eyes are quite swollen, and your pupils are a little dilated.”

“I’m fine, I just—” She had no idea why this blatant lie even came out of her mouth, but Abby was no fool, and it was apparently obvious that she had been crying. Her attempt to subside the redness around her eyes had been in vain.

“Well, you’re not fine if you came to see me. Did you sleep last night?”

“Yeah, but not very well. I woke up with a migraine and my eyes hurt.” She said, glossing over the fact that her migraines and tension in her eyes was caused by her breakdown in the shower but she wouldn’t say it out loud and Abby guessed the cause of it anyway, though she didn’t have the reasons why she had cried. Or maybe she knew without the girl even saying a word, Abby had always been like a second mother to her, and she was her mother’s best friend. She brought her some eyedrops to try and help with the redness. Michelle leaned her head back, applying the product and closing her eyes before she was given a cold compress. She put it on her eyes. Since she was completely still, her migraine was more bearable and with her eyes blinded, she swallowed whatever medication Abby chose to give her. After a dozen minutes, she put it down and Abby checked her eyes again.

“You should be fine now.”

“The cold sure helped.” She stood up. “How’s Raven?”

“The pain in her leg is gone.”

“But you’re not convinced?”

“It’s not usual for pain to disappear so quickly.” Abby stated.

“Did she take something?” That was the question that burned her lips. She wanted to know what had relieved her so drastically. Michelle didn't have any physical pain comparable to hers, but it was mentally that she was hurting.

“She said Jaha gave her the key to the City of Light.” Michelle didn’t respond. She looked down, thinking. Despite doubting the existence of that utopic place that Jaha told them about, she wondered if taking the key could help her feel better. She might have felt tempted to take it but there was still some reluctance and wariness towards taking whatever that key was. The two women left for the hangar and walked up to Jasper who was observing Jaha in the distance. The latter stood tall, holding a tiny black pouch in his hands. A bunch of people were sitting in circle in front of him after queueing to receive what was probably the key Raven had told Abby about. The former Chancellor glanced at the trio but for some reason, Michelle felt he was looking at her specifically. Maybe he could see she was conflicted about the thing he promised.

“They seem pretty happy.” Jasper noted.

“Yeah. They sure do.” Abby nodded and crossed her arms, not convinced. Jaha eventually kneeled next to the others and closed his eyes. Michelle watched him, silent.

“A lot more of them today, too.”

“I know you’re tempted, but, let me figure out what it is, first. Okay?” Michelle’s gaze went straight to Abby, but the latter clearly didn’t think that she was tempted. Her question was directed to Jasper. After she left the room, she headed back towards the infirmary, but Michelle remained next to Jasper without moving, staring at the meditation that was taking place before their eyes. When Jasper turned his head towards her and asked if she was tempted too, she just shrugged and walked away towards the tables in the other corner of the hangar. She took a glass and rested her cheek on her fist, leaning on the table, looking in the direction of the large door. The truck sat there. She closed her eyes as she exhaled through her nose, resting a little until suddenly, the sounds of several people entering alerted her. Standing up, she saw Pike's group heading towards the vehicle, opening, and loudly moving around crates of weapons and ammo. Something was brewing. No doubt what had occupied her father all morning. She saw the latter walk up to them, trying to say a word to Bellamy before they left.

“That’s a lot of firepower.”

“Let’s hope we don’t need it.” The young man replied, to busy with said weapons to look at the former councilman. She didnd’t hear what her father asked but with Bellamy’s answer, she figured he enquired about what they were preparing for. She moved to a table closer, trying to ignore the stray noises of those who were busy around them. “Planning for our future.”

“You know that looks a lot like our past.” Her father’s voice was low and because of the distance between them she heard it as a whisper, but she managed to listen. She appreciated that he kept trying to talk to Bellamy, but it unsurprisingly fell on deaf ears. He always replied with a much louder and determined tone. It also seemed he didn’t even see the girl sitting in the background.

“We’re building a life here. Not trying to make peace with people who only understand war.”

“Damn right.” Monty’s mother agreed as she walked back and forth from the ammunitions’ crate to the car. Kane tried to talk to her as well, but she couldn’t care any less. She stood up as Bellamy called for the group to move out and she approached, descending the few steps that separated the garage area from the tables. Her father looked at her with disappointment on his face. She was just as bummed as him. Standing on the outside of the car, calling for the last of them to jump in as the latter said goodbye to Nate, he glanced at Kane and Michelle, his eyes lingering on her for a few more seconds before he moved on to their mission and got in. He slammed the rear door as the hangar slid open and she took a step forward, watching the car drive away. She didn’t even notice Nate leaving as her heart ached. She felt betrayed by Bellamy. Closing her eyes with a sigh, she turned around and the two of them left. He could tell that Michelle was particularly down today and as he walked with her down the hall, he placed a hand on her shoulder. They stopped in their tracks, and she just looked down at her hands. He didn’ need to ask her what was troubling her, it was easy to guess at least some of it had to do with Bellamy. She had never told her father that she liked the young man, the same way she didn’t tell him about Murphy, and he just saw the two of them together.

“Why does he side with Pike?” She mumbled.

“He’s convinced he’s doing the right thing.” She nodded and took a step forward, resting her head on her father's shoulder, who wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. Her body shook with silent sobs as he stroked her back. She wished she had her mom to comfort her but at least she had him. While she found herself alone, without her friends, all busy here and there, she had her father. He knew that she wasn’t upset just because of her heartbreak over Bellamy’s actions. He had not forgotten the tragic death of her mother which had impacted them both so deeply. The day she died was the day he found out he was a dad in the first place. She raised her head a minute later, sniffling, and he cupped her face with one hand, wiping her tears with his thumb. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” She wiped her wet eyes with the sleeve of her jacket.

“I let this happen. Pike’s influence has gotten too strong.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head and advised her to go and rest in her room, promising to find a solution to resolve the situation. She ended up leaving for her room and he went to see Abby in the infirmary. Closing the door behind her, she sighed. This little moment with his father had done him a lot of good. She took off her jacket and dropped it on the chair at her desk before plopping down on her bed.

She woke up a couple hours later to a loud knock at her door. Leaning on the mattress, she sat up. She thought at first it might be her father until she heard Bellamy's voice calling her name from the hallway.

“What do you want?”

“Open the door, please.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed the doorknob. All her sadness was overshadowed by her frustration with Bellamy.

“What?” She repeated her question after she opened the door ajar. They stared at each other, and he glanced into the room through the opening.

“Can I come in?” She wanted to try to talk to him and avoid talking to him at the same time, but she stepped aside to let him pass and crossed her arms. For a second, he had his back to her, and she could see his gaze scanning the place for some reason. He turned around and his gaze seemed much more serious.

“So, what do you want? You quit following Pike around?”

“We walked into an ambush. Octavia had warned the Grounders that we were coming.” He ignored her remark and took a few steps towards her.

“Okay, and? What’s that got to do with me?” She raised her eyebrows.

“We know it was your father who told her.”

“I don’t know, last I saw him was when you left earlier. I don't track my father.” Of course, she knew but she was well aware he came down to her room to question her regarding their suspicions about her father's actions. He and Pike understood that Kane was the mole giving out intel to the outside and from their point of view, he was trying to sabotage them when all he was doing was trying to prevent a war. But she could tell that despite everything, they had no proof against him and could not accuse him of anything.

“You know Clarke was there last night.” He wasn’t even asking; it was a statement. He knew she knew. That her very own best friend they were talking about. And her silence gave it away in any case. “That same night, both her and Octavia disappeared, and who were you with? Abby and Kane.”

“Doesn’t mean I know what you’re talking about right now. You walked into an ambush. Not my fault. What were you going to do to those Grounders anyway? Exterminate them like the ones sent to help us?”

“We have to take actions to protect our people.”

“You keep saying that.” She raised her voice, letting her hands fall along her body. “Is it you talking? Or Pike?”

“I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Pike understands it, unlike your father.”

“You’re right. My father is thoughtful. He wouldn’t order the extermination of 300 innocents.” She had had enough. She sighed and grabbed him by the arm to push him out of her room, but he stood his grounds and slipped his hand in his pocket. In the blink of an eye, she found herself with her hands cuffed and he mumbled an apology before dragging her with him. She struggled but he closed the cell's door after removing the handcuffs and she found herself locked in with the Grounders already there. Looking around, she saw Lincoln, as surprised as she was to see her here with them.

Less than 30 minutes after Bellamy had forced her into the cell, he returned accompanied by Pike. She was pacing in the room, walking back and forth, dragging her feet on the floor, and stopped when she noticed them walking in their direction. Lincoln was sitting on a bench, watching the scene and they exchanged a glance, knowing the two men were coming for her. A guard unlocked the gate and pulled her out, tying her hands in her back.

“How long are you gonna detain me?”

“I might decide to release you if you tell us what we wanna know, Michelle.” Pike said before turning around, signaling the guards to take her with them, while a second closed the cell.  The guard thrusted her cuffed hands into her back, and she groaned, taking a few stumbling steps forward. When they reached another room, she was abruptly pushed down onto a chair, her restraints were attached to the chair to prevent her from moving around. Pike and Bellamy, who were joined by Monty’s mother, Hannah, stood on the other side of the table at the center, with the Chancellor right in front of her. She stared at Pike with that arrogant look plastered on his face, in silence, and when she looked away at Bellamy, he spoke up and snapped her attention back to him. “Eyes on me, miss Kane. I'm the only one you'll be talking to right now.”

“My name is Cartwig. Michelle Cartwig.” She hissed. Even though she had grown to love her father, she would never change her last name for anything in the world. Bearing her mother's name allowed Michelle to maintain her connection to her and honor her as long as she lived. It seemed he was looking to get a reaction out of her because he nodded and briefly smirked, his hands on his hips.

“I know. Your mother’s last name. Callie Cartwig.” She gave him a death stare, grinding her teeth as he he stressed the name of the deceased. She clenched her fists, leaning forward, pulling tightly on the handcuffs, causing a burning sensation to rise around her wrists.

“Go float yourself, Pike.” She let herself fall heavily against the back of the chair. He chuckled at her insolence.

“I must say, I didn’t know Kane was your father. But I guess did you. Your mother never told either of you, right? Not until she was on the verge of death anyway.”

“What is this?” She frowned, shaking her head. “You don’t know shit about my family.”

“True. Then tell me about your father. What is he up to, Michelle?” He leaned over and put his hands on the table. Maybe was he trying to be intimidating but she didn’t react much, keeping her head held high.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, sketching a tight smile.

“Now, you see, I think that’s a lie. Someone's been giving intel to Octavia, from inside the camp. And I'm sure you know what it's all about.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She would keep on lying every time he asked her that king of question again. She didn’t know what her father had been doing and how the ambush came to be, but she knew he was plotting against Pike. She had seen Clarke being sneaked in and out of camp and Octavia leaving through the crawlspace as well. She would never tell him all this.

“You’re a traitor. On the Ark—"

“You’re late to the party, Hannah, I was already a traitor on the Ark.”

“And you were a month away from getting floated. You were given a second chance, and you wasted it by choosing the wrong side.” He paused, she looked back at him, wondering what his silence was about. “But we’re not on the Ark anymore.” Her eyebrows relaxed, understanding that they wouldn't execute her, at least not for the time being and she stared at Pike, tilting her head to the side in incomprehension.

“So, what are you gonna do to me?”

“Maybe if we keep you and your father separated, he will make a mistake and we can arrest him. All right, lock her up.” He motioned to the guards and was almost lifted from her chair by them when they made her get up, because she didn't have time to stand on her feet. They held her arms so tightly that she barely had time to take one step after another, her feet basically dragging on the ground. They passed Bellamy and she glanced at him, but her eyes went on Pike nearby and she called out to him. He turned his head towards her, and she spat at him. Years later, and she was still spitting in the face of a figure of authority. Then, it was Kane, now it was Pike. The second she did this insulting act, her face distorted in pain as a guard struck her with an electric baton. She fell to her knees and heard Bellamy yell at them to stop. With her eyes closed, her face leaning forward, she caught her breath, which had been cut off by the violence of the gesture. She opened her eyes when she felt two fingers gently lift her chin. Bellamy was kneeling in front of her. She shook her face, pulling away from his fingers and he let his hand fall.

“I didn’t pick the wrong side. You did.” she said, letting out a labored breath. He looked at her, quiet, as the guards picked her up and dragged her back to the cell, where they unceremoniously pushed her to the ground after freeing her from her handcuffs.

“Locking up their own now.” She grabbed the hand Lincoln gave her and he helped her up, noticing the burn mark across her top, where she was hit. She gave him a nod as a silent thank.

“Yeah, they were already locking up teenagers in the past. Executing the adults.” Her tone made it easy for him to understand she had been detained before her people ever came down to the ground. She sighed, looking towards the door. The blow had hurt her much more deeply. She continued to hope that Bellamy would wake up and join them, but she was angry with him for letting Pike lead him astray.

[To be continued…]  

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Published (01/12/2023) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405​ @kika64 @mirellef2001

[chibivesicle]

Trigun Stampede - Episode 7 - with a title like ‘WOLFWOOD’, I was expecting him to die.

Yet, he is still very much alive at the end of the episode.  He saved the orphanage - cue manga plot line to die.  However, this wasn’t his second showdown with Livio; can’t have him dying just yet can we?

As I’ve said before, and I will continue to say, the technical aspects of this series are top notch.  The smooth fight scenes, the great facial expressions, especially from Meryl in this episode.  Yet, the payoff from the events of this episode ring hollow to me.  But that is continuing on if the payoff is earned or not.  And with all that introduction of the Bad Lads Gang, we don’t even get to see B.D.N. as an older fan, I have to admit that was a disappointment, he was a good villain who added to the character dynamics and helped flesh out Vash’s character early on. But before that, I’ll respond to some comments on last week’s post - I’m always bad about getting back to comments on posts - apologies. ^^;;  One comment was on how Wolfwood and Vash don’t need to become friends since it is Wolfwood’s job to take Vash to Knives.  That is totally correct - however, the ‘98 anime and manga both make it a point that Wolfwood and Vash become friends as it adds to their character development. Wolfwood realizes his guilt and also finds peace with his decisions because he became friends with Vash.  And Vash respected him in both either by literally carrying his cross in the anime in the final showdown with Knives or by using his own life force/span to blow a hole in Knives’ ark just to show him Wolfwood’s dead body on the couch while looking very pissed off.  Either way Wolfwood’s own actions that result in his death spur Vash into action. Another comment was about how I’m guessing this season is 12-13 episodes - I’m going by the fact that a lot of anime now are split into two parts for a single ‘season’ and they pace them out this way e.g. Spy x Family, LOGH:DNT etc.  It just reflects a change in the animation industry instead of the 90s where they would contractually agree with a studio to make seasons that were either 24-26 episodes long in one go or as long as 36-40.  Hence the use of recap and filler episodes, though I personally feel that the original Trigun does not suffer from ‘pointless filler’, it was clever in the story and character development.  I haven’t been gleaning the Japanese sources with much vigor since I’m not that into Trigun Stampede to care that much.  I think a comment on one of posts mentioned it might be a current 9 episodes for this part from Studio Orange.  I care enough about Stampede to give it a college try and watch it but at this point, it won’t hold much re-watch weight when I could go back to the original or read the manga again and enjoy it.

The last comment was similar to the first one, and I agree as well that Wolfwood really is stuck between a rock and a hard place.  He has to suck it up and do what he’s told to prevent other children from the fate he and Livio have come to experience.  There is just so much we can discuss about this and I love hearing back from other people and the different ways to look at things.

Okay, onto episode seven!

The episode starts off with everyone panicking as the Sandsteamer is off course and under attack.  And it is heading straight for Hopeland.  Cue Wolfwood panic even further!  The map labels the Hopeland Orphanage but the dialogue indicates it is also a town.

Which is it Studio Orange?  Honestly, it would have been best to label it as the town of Hopeland and note it has an orphanage through context than making that the key landmark.  It reads oddly.  The original stated that the Church orphanage is located 300 iles from December according to Wolfwood.

Wolfwood has a lot of angst trying to figure out what to do, lashing out at the Bad Lads members and then goes back to fighting Livio while telling Vash to flee.

Again, the fight sequence between Wolfwood and Livio is brutal and the July MPs remark that the two of them are monsters.  It seems that Livio has some sort of built in regeneration system that we can’t see and Wolfwood decides he has no choice but to kill him.

While this is happening, the Bad Lads gang is raiding the Sandsteamer and not really doing that much honestly.  They are doing a hit and run.  No B.D.N. - personal sadness.

Instead of disguising themselves as Bad Lad members, it seems that one of the two of them sweet talked them to spare them to report for an ‘Outlaw’ magazine.  We have Meryl taking pictures of them as they pose during the raid.

Since Meryl is pretty quick witted, I’m guessing she’s the one who came up with the idea and Roberto is just rolling with it based on his  body language.  But hey, they aren’t dead!  That’s a plus.

Then Vash shows up knocking out all sorts of Bad Lads making his way to Roberto and Meryl.

The group briefly chat about why they are there as Vash thought they drove off back towards July on their own.  We have him using his gun as a blunt object along with his robotic arm.  I guess when he ran away from Wolfwood, his goal was to just knock out as many of them as possible?  It is unclear what his objective is other than this is the way the writers have him run into Meryl and Roberto.  This shows off that he’s ‘not human’ according to Roberto and they don’t explain to him that they are still following him either.

He then continues down the hall taking out more Bad Lads with his knock them out strategy.

We do see Vash do this in the ‘98 anime (and in the manga) in the episode ‘Hang Fire’ with his famous terrible song about slaughter and genocide but the crux of that story was him begging a father wanting to kill the man who raped and murdered his daughter not to.  He kicks a freakkin’ rocket grenade with his foot and takes out men with his long colt 45 instead of shooting them.

The action returns to Wolfwood and Livio.  We had more 2D flashbacks about them and Wolfwood is resolved to take him out by insulting him and pretending him like he does care.  Livio gets emotionally stunned and when he goes to shoot him at point blank range, his shot is knocked off course and destroys Zazie’s monitoring insect.

This is where he turns to Vash in shock, since this is one of the few times Vash has fired his gun in the entire series.  Of course it is to protect Wolfwood and Livio.

Vash keeps pushing him to try to find a way to connect with Livio and Wolfwood fights him until he can damage the weird mind control device on Livio’s face.  He pop back into awareness and realizes that Wolfwood is his older brother, Nick and it looks like they might get him.

But all of the brainwashing from the Eye of Michael kicks in and he staggers about pointing his guns at Roberto, Meryl, Vash and Wolfwood . . . before he snaps and shoots himself in the head and falls off the steamer.  Tis a flesh wound.  We know Livio will be back later.

Wolfwood is clearly concerned and looks over the railing and notices a car that he knows is likely Legato and others.  However, he doesn’t share this critical information with others and instead angsting alone for a moment.

It then reveals that Legato is in the mood for some monologue time to state that Wolfwood’s ‘lack of faith’ is an issue and in order to get him to serve Knives better they need to destroy everything he cares about; Livio and the orphanage.

Once Wolfwood no longer has these important connections, it will be no problem to control him.  [sighs] If you say so less nihilistic version of Legato.  In the last episode we already had Legato establish that this version of Wolfwood has a very strong will and attachment to others, he should realize that this likely will backfire on him. 

What is throwing me for a loop is that Legato is the ‘religious’ one in this version.  That was squarely Wolfwood’s thing in the manga and ‘98 anime.  He seems to (based on his dialogue) believe that faith in something is greater than emotions.  Yet, in this episode, we do get some actual anger from him in his voice as well as a more sinister facial expression indicating our bad boy has emotions.

The religious fervor continues with his mannerisms as he decides to force his hand, literally.  If the Bad Lads Gang, Livio and Wolfwood can’t do the job, then he will do it.

This does appear to be very tongue and cheek dialogue from him, but I’m disappointed.  I miss ultra-nihilistic Legato Bluesummers.  He seems to be going through somewhat villain motions, but is missing that sick and twisted edge that made him as creepy as fuck in the original works.  I’m also missing his Knives worship.  We have no indication that he’s a man craving validation from a person he’s obsessed with.  Granted, we didn’t get that early on either, but he made it clear he was there for Knives’ agenda.

What is his ultimate plan?  Trigger the ship’s ion cannon to fire at the city and plow into it as well!  Wow!  I’m sorry, this is again lazy writing.  We are going to have Vash info dump for once, stating that the Sandsteamer is a modified spaceship, it still has it’s ion cannon and it was used to clear large rocks back in the day.  And he knows how to operate parts of it and busts into all sorts of unused rooms.

Oh noes!  We need to make the drama 110%, Vash declares that they have no choice but to try to manually override things.  I would like to note during this entire course of events, Legato is just twiddling his thumbs thinking he’s done the job.  Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched man.

Vash decides he’ll figure out how to mess with the cannon and ask Wolfwood to break into some sort of area to try to manually hold it back?

When we see Vash using the cargo container cranes to pull force on the ion cannon, and the moon in the background, I figured this was the new version of the Fifth Moon in Augusta.  Since we don’t know if Vash can make his angel arm in this version, he’d blow a hole in the Fifth Moon with the ion cannon.

While Vash works on mechanically messing with the canon poor Wolfwood is having a melt down trying to do the impossible. 

Meanwhile, Meryl is in the control room for the ion cannon with the fire lever before her.

Roberto makes his move and tells her it is time to go.  They had a deal to pull out when it was too dangerous.  He found an escape vehicle and orders her to take it.

She looks serious and hesitant.

He reminds her what her job is and that she is not a hero and is just a normal person.  We can tell they are leading up to some sort of confrontation between the junior and senior reporters.

Poor Wolfwood is there pushing on a giant ion cannon losing his mind.  This plot point is bonkers.  I get this is sci fi and that Wolfwood can heal quickly but super strength wasn’t in his background right?  Or not that we’ve seen. 

The conflict boils over when Meryl takes her stand to not be passive or run away!  She calmly says she can’t abandon them and that she doesn’t judge Roberto for running either.

But the events at Jeneora Rock shook her to her core.  She can’t be passive and has been feeling frustrated since those events.  Meryl has guilt for not being able to prevent Tonis from being injured and she sees it as her fault that he lost an arm.

She declares that she’s staying right here in the chance that she’ll be able to make a difference.  Honestly, Roberto doesn’t have much to say back to her and thankfully, he doesn’t.

This entire sequence shows where Studio Orange kills it with her facial expressions.  They are good, incredibly good.  It also further shows that Meryl is also taking on aspects of Milly by caring about others and doing the ‘right’ thing to help out others even if it took her some time to get to this point.  Studio Orange - I give you one point for actual character development for her.

Vash rushes down to help out Wolfwood.  He tells him that he does have something he cares about and Wolfwood pretends to be obtuse while they strain to try to push the ion cannon.

We see it strain his robotic arm which cracks and sizzles with electricity as well.  He’s working it to the max.

This entire scene gives Vash time to talk to Wolfwood as he tries to connect and humanize Wolfwood.  However, the sheer physics of this is crazy.  Even with a special robotic arm, they aren’t going to make that much of a difference. Yet somehow, they are able to nudge it just enough that when it reaches maximum charge, Meryl discharges the cannon.

Based on what happens it appears that the wrapped cargo crane cables and the collapsing of the arms created enough of a counter force that once they hit the ground it was able to pull it back and out of range until the discharge was complete.

I know this is a sci fi series, but the physics of this had me feeling a bit whaaaa?  We’ve been sticking to more logical rules in this series; this was out of place to an extent.  Additionally, Legato, why weren’t you trying to counter them more?  Twiddling your thumbs I presume?  Feeling superior?

Of course the crisis isn’t averted yet!  Now, they need to stop the Steamer from colliding with the town.  Wolfwood wants to blow it up taking himself with it.  He vaguely taps into past Wolfwood’s need to choose the needs of the many as opposed to the needs of the few highlighted in ‘Escape from Pain’.

Yet, Vash gets him to stand down despite his vow that Vash can’t save people without hurting others.

Vash then sends Wolfwood to the engine room and he runs off to the plant room.  This was briefly shown in the last episode, so we know the ship is powered by an individual plant.

Wolfwood becomes Kaite, and using his ability to heal, is able to open the hot pressure release door.  We see all the other men sitting down looking at their hands and hot gloves unable to hold on long enough.

I missed the original plot point with B.D.N and the Sandsteamer.  With the inclusion of Kaite, we see how Vash is able to convince someone to not be hopeless and to make a difference.  It also leveraged the point that Kaite was small enough to climb to reach the release lever and it just takes a normal amount of human force.

It is through this nudging to action part that Vash is able to influence others to act, even when at times we know he’s being passive about the big picture for himself.

Vash then goes to the plant to get it to power down and stop the out of control Sandsteamer.  Like in previous versions, he places his hands on the tank and requests assistance from the plant.

The Sandsteamer comes to a stop just before hitting the town and Legato decides to give up for the moment.  He orders Zazie to retrieve Livio from the desert ground.

A sandstorm then appears, prompting Legato to ask if this is Zazie’s work which they deny.

The sandstorm moves in on the Sandsteamer.  This time we have a real sandstorm as opposed to the one that never happened in episode three and also contrasts with the town that didn’t see wind power twenty-five years ago.  I’m still not over the there is no wind in the desert plot point.

At the end of the episode the gang meets up to realize the only place Vash could be is the plant room.  We see him hand to hand with the plant.  The plants have lost their angelic design and instead look like the aliens from Avatar.  Well sort of - or elves.

Vash turns to look at them and his face reveals the plant markings where in shock Meryl states that Vash is - a plant?

The episode ends with him looking at them before it goes black and he passed out collapsing to the floor.  We have confirmed Vash’s plant identity.  It seems like they were going for the same look of shock Meryl had to the Trigun Maximum manga when he uses his angel arm to deflect a bullet from hitting Meryl and she loses it.

Summary of this episode and some main points:

1.) Our team finally scores a win.  Mark them one point in the W column! This was such a long time coming.  I don’t consider the victory of the Nebraskas to count since it was just a sign of the doom to come.

2.) Wolfwood is at least getting some humanizing points.  He’s been forced into a corner and finally stops to listen to Vash and back him up.  Though it is with some reservations of course. 

3.) Hope does hold out.  It is hope that saved Hopeland.  That is rather heavy handed Studio Orange!  But that is the kinda of don’t worry viewer we will hand feed you the cheese are what you are going for with this series.  And the ion cannon plot point - you know that they have to save the day with the paradoxical pacing in this anime. 

4.) Religious elements in this series utterly baffle me.  I don’t know where they are going with this.  It is clear they didn’t get the original.  I’m still sitting on an ask in my inbox about the religious element to the original series - it will require a longer reply than I have had time to do at the moment but it will come.  Mainly, since the Christian elements can be read multiple ways and it is rather open to interpret in that context depending on your own knowledge of the base material. My main vibe is that by making Legato the religious one it just seems - oddly confusing.  He’s a villain and does not have a moral dilemma that stems from his religious upbringing. I just don’t get why he’s the one reading the bible and going on about faith in some sort of higher power (Knives?) it seems OOC for him. 

Character notes!

1.) Vash - fired his gun to save Livio!  However, the rest of the time he used it to stun Bad Lads.  So booooooo.  What I’m really missing is that Vash is a skilled gunslinger.  We have almost no indication of his skills.  He was able to deflect Wolfwood’s shot and he’s had a few early on, but he’s not giving us his awesome tricks and skills.  That is all being carried by Wolfwood at the moment.  I felt it gave greater weight to Vash’s ability to use his long colt AND manage to not kill someone.  It really made his vow to not kill more obvious in the manga and original anime.  The series is called Trigun and it is about an infamous outlaw with a huge bounty on his head and is known to be an excellent marksman.

2.) B. D. N. or Brilliant Dynamites Neon - doesn’t show up!  Major disappointment!  I was expecting him to get into the mix with a Wolfwood vs. Livio and Vash vs. B. D. N. showdown; no dice. I was excited for that outcome when episode six ended. There was no high stakes gamble on a one to one showdown at the toss of a coin.  Which Yasuhiro Nightow loves characters flipping American quarters and half dollars btw. 

That look from Vash as he emerges from behind the rubble!

His carefully aimed shots that make their mark!

And then how B. D. N. saves him from being crushed by zapping the rock when he realizes how injured Vash is and also saves the day.

The absence of B. D. N. also highlights how Vash impacts the behavior of others for the better.  He always respects them and it shows that people respond to that.  Again, it gives Vash better and stronger arguments for his personal code of conduct.

3.) Meryl and Roberto - Our lone female lead carries her weight!  And is able to contribute to the win for our core group.  She shows character development, thinking of more than just her story and job and looking back on her resume which Roberto threw out the car window.  Is following through on making a difference!  I again think the animation for her facial expressions was top notch here. I don’t know who is in charge of her story boarding for expression but they need to be paid more.  Roberto is a sad sack.  Yet, I guess being a sad sack works in this episode.   He seemed rather passive this episode.  Not sure why.  Where is old and bitter uncle info dump?

4.) Wolfwood - doesn’t die upon saving the orphanage.  We have no idea if he’ll die after showdown number two with Livio.  I was expecting him to die with our episode title, but instead, Stampede leaned into this episode of the Wolfwood Show again.  I know he is a fan favorite and very popular, yet Studio Orange isn’t leveraging his character as much as they could and should be doing.  But since he’s now an atheist, his original guilt is lacking from the anime and manga.  He’s only now using the argument of finding the lowest number of casualties for the greater good.  Which seems late pacing wise and also OOC for him.

Or as my friend Merdopseudo says, he’s not Wolfwood, he’s Fakewood.  I agree that this character is not even close to him from the ‘98 anime or Trigun Maximum. Yet, suddenly, he’s starting to notice that Vash’s idea might work. And is willing to give him a chance - I guess after they stopped the cannon and that Vash got him to confuse Livio.  Those two events are enough for Wolfwood to feel that he owes Vash one and will follow through with his plan to stop the Sandsteamer.  Does it feel earned?  I dunno, maybe if you squint enough.  5.) Legato - got angry and is religious.  Right.  We see him raise his voice and get visibly angry and try to do things himself but at the same time, he doesn’t follow through fully.  Which means you failed man.  What happened to your dedication to sparkle motion? -er- I mean your dedication to the mission of Knives? I am bummed out, I wanted nihilistic Legato.  Was he so confident that he thought he could let things happen without keeping the pressure on Vash and Wolfwood?

6.) Livio - has an unhealthy younger brother relationship with Wolfwood.  He was almost able to snap out of it and it looks like he was brainwashed by Chapel in the very hard to see flashback about his job.  Using the trope of ‘I have to catch up to X character!’ is so over used and I don’t like it being applied to him in particular.  Minus one for generic writing Studio Orange.  Additionally, there is no indication that Razlo the Tri-punisher exists.  We can see that he killed people in the flashback but it is not enough information since it is through Wolfwood’s flashbacks in Trigun Maximum that we first get an indication of Razlo’s existence.  Wolfwood is the one who watches him and notices the disconnect and then doesn’t know what happens when he runs away.

7.) Zazie - present.  We get to see an insect pulled out of their mouth.  Better than a vagina I guess [shrugs].

And with that I’ve hit all the points that struck me.  The episode ends with a sandstorm and Vash collapsing.

I’m going to guess that the sandstorm is generated by the lone remaining Seeds ship that hasn’t crashed to the planet’s surface and that they were tracking events and located Vash there.  They will use the sandstorm to pull the core group onto the ship, Vash will get a new arm from the Doctor. He’ll also meet up with Brad and Luida on the ship.

We only have a few episodes left, but the crazy pacing continues.

[spinetacks]

tagged by tumblr user @moxley ♡ thank you <<:

Last song: margaret - sukekiyo

Currently watching: OFMD s2 is airing on tv currently so rewatching!

Three ships: no one needs my k-pop ships 😖 so have these: mox/darby, brody/darby, hannigram

Favorite color: green or pink or grey 💚🩷🩶

Currently consuming: k-pop boys aren’t active rn so just wrestling and anything darb related I find really! I also got in the habit of watching an episode of atashin’chi before bed

First ship: uhhh very very first was heero/duo from gundam wing when I was a tiny babie (the foreshadowing of their biggest ship moment being a punch)

Place of birth: 🇬🇧

Current location: 🇬🇧 still! a few years ago I moved for the first time to 15 minutes away from where I started

Relationship status: recently out of a long-term relationship 🤧

Last movie: I took my mum to see wicked little letters and was the youngest person in the room by about 25 years :x

Currently working on: a brody/darby fic I’ve been handwriting at snails pace, repaints, designing stuff maaaybe to make darby charms because my shop has been standing empty for 300 years

tagging @aerodaltonimperial @junglemax @carrieway if you’d like !