#fuck you too elgin

[mythosphere]

Not all archeologists were wildly unethical. Explodes Hisarlik Georg, who destroyed nine levels of ancient Troy including the one he was looking for, is an outlier and should not be counted

[training4theapocalypse]

PLEASE do what Scots actually say I’m so curious

Soap x Reader Scottish Dialogue Inspo

To celebrate Burns Night, here are some realistic smutty Scottish terms and some general stuff to do with relationships. Feel free to use this if you find it helpful 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Disclaimer: my tiny country is made up of countless accents and Soap is canonically from Kilmarnock but his voice actor is from Elgin so who TF knows what he’d actually say.

I also don’t think you need to write in Scots either - I’m Scottish and I don’t (unless am absolutely ragin aboot somethin’) but I can see why you’d want to for Soap’s dialogue. 

Behave yersel’

This is easy - it’s just ‘behave yourself’ but it can be used as a smutty admonishment.

“I’ll sleep on the couch - you take the bed.”

“Behave yersel’,” says Soap, unfastening his belt.

Bonny / Bonnie

Spell it whichever way you like. This is primarily an adjective but I see it used as a noun in fic. All. The. Time. It was used a long time ago as a noun - and maybe it still is further north - but where I / Soap are from it's really only used as an adjective these days.

“What do you think of the new recruit, Captain?”

“Aye, she’s bonny, awryt.”

But use this sparingly - and only to describe a person as a whole and not individual body parts. (e.g. you wouldn’t say “Your tits are so bonny.”) 

Darlin’ / Doll

The two most common pet names I hear from men here. It is ROUGH as anything and makes me melt. Ughhhh. 🥵

“D’ye like whit ye see, doll?”

Fuckin’ hell

An exclamation that’s pretty ubiquitous across the UK. Soap would 100% say this after sex or if he was surprised by something that made him horny. From clips of Soap I’ve seen I know he says “Steamin’ hell” too but I’ve never heard this IRL.

You sit in Soap’s office, perched on his desk wearing your new lingerie.

He opens the door and freezes, jaw on the floor.

“… Fuckin’ hell.”

Gads 

This is a very specific Kilmarnock / Ayrshire thing (which is where Soap’s file says he’s from). And it comes from a very old-timey phrase ‘egads!’ which is hilarious to me.

Gads can be used as an exclamation for something shocking (OR something cringe depending on the context).

“You honestly think that I snuck into your room because my bed was uncomfortable? I want you to fuck me, Soap.”

He swallows. “... Gads.” 

Gantin’ for it

AKA Gagging for it. Juvenile way to describe being horny. Soap would probably say this about himself in a jokey way. 

“You alright, Soap?”

“Aye, aye. I’ve just been gantin’ for it ever since that new lassie joined.”

Lassie / Lass

Girl. Younger. (Pop off age difference fics)

Missus

Literally “Mrs” but surprisingly not just used to refer to your wife. Really commonly used to refer to a girlfriend.

“Look, whatever the missus wants she gets. Awryt?”

Wee (insert expletive)

Literally call me whatever you want as long as you put ‘wee’ in front of it. Wee bitch, wee slag, wee slut (omggggggg). 

Soap tuts, as you writhe against his thigh. “Yer an impatient wee thing, aren’t ye?”

Anyway, that's all I've got for now- if I think of any more, I'll add to this. You don't need to credit me if you actually use this - I like to think of it as service to my country 🫡

P.S. This made me realise I've only ever had sex with Scottish people so maybe some of this is just normal sex stuff and not Scotland specific???? HAHAHAHA

P.P.S. I was getting really into the dialogue so I've written a short fic about Reader x Soap.

[burningtacozombie]

so Elgin James is rebooting Prison Break for Hulu without the original characters, Deadline reports.

I've never watched that show but chances are, he's gonna fuck that up too. you know, like he did Mayans MC. good luck to fans of that show, y'all gonna need it.

[liathebookwyrm]

A non-exhaustive list of dead people I have beef with in no particular order and for no particular reason

Alexander the Great. Great general, not nearly enough of an attention span for maintaining his empire

The Victorians. For making it weird. It being everything they ever wrote about. Except for flower language. That's cool.

Saint Paul. For having far too much of the New Testament ascribed to him and making my religion classes harder than they had to be.

Ea Nassir. He knows what he did.

Everyone involved in the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Olaf Tryggvason. For his approach towards Christianising his sovereign (and not so sovereign) lands.

Whoever Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre is based on.

Christopher Colombus.

The idiot that started the El Dorado legend. And all the idiots that believed him.

Lord Elgin. Fuck him and everyone like him.

Whoever thought it a good idea to steal one of the Easter Island sculptures

The person responsible for the Hermes scandal of 415 BCE.

Ioannis Kolettis and Alexandros Mavrokordatos. For having names that are very difficult to spell when you are ten and looking entirely too unlikeable in the illustrations of my history book.

Whoever decided "καταπλεω" (katapleo) should no longer have it's original meaning. We had a verd specifically for the act of sailing off to fuck shit up!

On a similar vein, whoever lost the recipe to the composition of Greek fire.

The academic that unironically called Sapfo straight

The person responsibilities for destroying part of the Homeric Hymn to Demeter. I have Questions.

The person who decided "Wednesday" should be spelled thusly

Everyone involved in the formation of modern German grammar and syntax.

The utter psychopath who made a show of publicly unwrapping mummies in front of an audience.

[cookinguptales]

Okay, I’m gonna start with Freddie. Now... when the spoilers first dropped and I heard them without watching the episode, I was actually fully expecting to feel as bad for Freddie as I do for Marwa. But then I watched the episode and was like... you know, very few people would deserve what happened to Freddie here but I think he might be one of them. lmao

(Full disclosure before I start, I did go to a fairly prestigious school for many of the exact same subjects that Freddie seems to have studied. I also talk about Genji Monogatari and the Palatine Hill for fun. So I am in a very unique position to hate Freddie specifically because I went to school with so many douchebags just like him. But I will freely admit that I might be projecting.)

So, other than repeatedly just calling him “That ‘Elgin’ Marbles-Fucker” to my friends over the past week, what do I think about Freddie?

Hmm... I think Freddie’s character can actually be summed up very well by the list of activities he showed the screen. That crazy motherfucker wanted to go see The Met, The Whitney, and the Chelsea galleries in the same fucking day. That sounds like the action of an art lover until you realize that means that he’s not taking enough time to actually look at anything.

Freddie, I think, is the type to race through a gallery simply for the experience of it -- and not fully appreciate a single thing he saw there. The kind to have a conversation about an archaeological site without actually saying a damn thing. The kind to have a boyfriend without ever putting in the work to learn who he actually is.

I very strongly get the impression that Freddie grew up fairly rich and privileged and probably got a lot of things handed to him over the course of his life. He strikes me as narcissistic and self-involved while being very willing to let Guillermo shoulder a lot of the emotional load of their relationship alone, as well as being the kind of person that will flit from interest to interest without a lot of care for price or fallout because he’s always been able to.

I do think that some of this may be the writers just writing the most British character alive and some American writers just always associating British people with poshness but... yeah, there were a lot of markers for privilege in him, from his job to his attitude to the way he carries himself that I think are difficult to overlook.

The narcissism is pretty self-explanatory, tbh. Nandor used hypnosis to make both Freddies be cool with the fact that they were cloned, but he didn’t make them get along with each other. He certainly didn’t make Freddie 1 cheat on Guillermo with Freddie 2. So we’re already working with a character here who’d rather spend time with himself than any other person, is perfectly happy to have academic conversations where he just goes in circles with a person word-for-word agreeing with him (which would be literal hell for me, but I digress), and who doesn’t mind cheating on his partner at least once, arguably twice.

Freddie is oddly like Nandor, in a way... I don’t think that Freddie ever set out to hurt Guillermo in this episode. He just... didn’t think about how his actions would affect anyone but himself. Nandor treated Freddie like a shiny, but Freddie treated Guillermo like one, too. He moved on from Guillermo and cheated on him and really ignored his feelings for the whole episode because he didn’t think it would be a big deal. Freddie just approaches everything in his life with this surface-level interest that he never actually commits to. It’s a happiness without true satiation and a sort of bland niceness without kindness.

He just kind of... alights on things like a butterfly. He seems nice enough and people like him and he’s happy enough to be there, but he’s ultimately going to fly away because at heart, that butterfly does not give a fuck about you.

I’m also fascinated by the way that Freddie approached this whole trip. While it was ostensibly a trip to go visit his boyfriend, he really made it about what he wanted to do 90% of the time and it’s not even really made clear if he spent any intimate alone time with Guillermo whatsoever. (And I’m not even talking about sex -- I mean genuinely any quiet time where he actually got to enjoy Guillermo’s presence without distractions.) 

He was just as happy to do his list of NYC stuff with someone else, he was okay ditching Guillermo to hang out with other people (including himself), and he showed a remarkable lack of interest in Guillermo’s feelings, worries, or even his hobbies. Like... it really felt more like this was him gallivanting halfway across the world for a NYC vacation than it was ever actually about Guillermo. Which makes me so sad for him, tbh.

And I’ll get into this more in another essay but just... it didn’t seem like he was that invested in Guillermo. He never seemed that intimate with him, never really listened to what he was saying (hello, showing up at someone’s house without warning them??), and dropped him like he was nothing the second a new shiny showed up. It makes sense that he’d use Guillermo as an excuse to visit NYC, but why even carry on this relationship for all these months in the first place...?

My theory is that Guillermo was a very convenient person for Freddie to be around. He spends a lot of his time talking him up, he’s always learning about Freddie’s interests, and because he’s lying to him for the entirety of their relationship, he never really asks Freddie to do any emotional heavy lifting. So I do think that Freddie likes Guillermo. He has affection for him. But Freddie is also on a fundamental level okay with a surface-level relationship that flatters him while not actually asking anything of him. This relationship was always innately casual to him.

I think it says a lot that by far the most successful relationship Freddie has is with himself. Not only does this feed into his narcissistic tendencies, it is also the easiest possible relationship you could ever have. There are no arguments. You don’t have to learn about the other person. You don’t have to care about someone else’s feelings. You never have to do anything you don’t want to do. You can just have these boring, surface-level conversations where the two of you speak in circles without actually saying a damn thing.

Honestly, I just think that Freddie is one of those selfish douchebags who seems nice until you realize they’re not actually talking to you specifically. They’re just... talking. And saying vaguely nice things. This kind of person is not remotely dependable; they have all the trappings of niceness without actually caring about you. You are basically the same as talking about the weather to them. They’re happier if it’s a sunny day, but it’s not exactly a make or break situation for them either way.

Freddie never actually cared about Guillermo. He didn’t care about Nandor, either. He didn’t even really care about traveling the world studying art; he sure gave that up quickly enough and he wasn’t exactly studying the art in NYC to start with. He really just cared about himself and living an easy and unexamined life that allows him to go from interest to interest without actually demanding anything from him.

And some of that is probably that he was designed to be a plot device, but some of that is just... Freddie. That “Elgin” Marbles-Fucking Douchebag. lmao.

[killiked]

GINUWINE IMAGINE

Old imagine for my unreleased planet him book, warning there’s smut involved 💦

You lay in bed with your adorable puppy nestled on your stomach, his warm weight providing a sense of comfort and contentment. As you gently rub his soft fur, you can feel the gentle rise and fall of his breath, a soothing rhythm that lulls you into a moment of pure tranquility.

Just then, Elgin enters the room, shirtless and glistening with sweat, his toned muscles glistening under the soft, warm light. He's just returned from his intense workout, and the sight of his sculpted physique leaves you momentarily speechless. His deep breaths signal the exertion he's just undergone, and his skin carries a faint, enticing scent of his exertions.

Elgin flashes you a tired but affectionate smile, his eyes sparkling as he gazes at you and your furry companion. "Hey there," he says in a husky voice, his eyes locking onto yours. "Missed you and this little guy."

Your heart flutters as he approaches, “what about me?”

“I missed you too.” He chuckled looking at you as your eyes stab him left to right.

Elgin's smile warms your heart as he leans in closer, his eyes locked onto yours with a passionate intensity. You feel your pulse quicken as his lips meet yours, the soft, electrifying touch of his mouth sending shivers down your spine. Time seems to slow as you share a lingering kiss, a testament to the deep connection you both share.

As the kiss deepens, you feel a bead of sweat from Elgin's workout become a scent on your no3e. It's a testament to his recent exertions, and even in this intimate moment, you can't help but chuckle softly. "Go take a shower," you playfully insist, giving him a gentle push as you break the kiss.

Elgin grins mischievously, the playful glint in his eye matching your own. "Only if you join me," he suggests with a wink, clearly not eager to part ways.

Your laughter fills the room as you shook your head at the boy. Was he crazy? Maybe a little? No he wasn’t cause right when he asked you decided to follow anyways.

Leaving the puppy on the bed and closing the door behind yourself you went directly into the bathroom with Elgin. At first it was awkward, something it wouldn’t usually be but the more that went on and the more you began undress, slowly that awkwardness disappeared.

You stepped into the shower, the hot water cascading down your body. Instantly Elgin got a whole of your thick waist and rested your back against the wall The steam filled the room, awakening your senses and setting your skin ablaze.

His hands moved from your ass to your back, pulling you closer to him as the kiss intensified. You could feel the heat radiating off his body as he held you tightly, the scent of his cologne filling the air. You felt a wave of pleasure and excitement as you melted into his embrace.

“Fuck me daddy.” You begged knowing he loved that nickname that graced from your mouth, it was true—-just as you couldn’t say anything else he lifted you up a little more before lifting his member up and putting it inside you.

You let out a soft moan, the pleasure of the moment sending yourself into a blissful trance. His thrusts were strong and deep, but too deep when he went a little after on you sometimes his member would fall out and your voice would cry for it be brought back in.

“Elgin.” You whined, but all the boy could do was chuckle.

When he put it back inside you the slippery mess began to excite you.

Him hitting all the right spots and sending pleasure waves through your body. His grip on your waist tightened and you felt your orgasm building up, ready to burst at any second. You were lost in the moment, unable to control the pleasure that was surging through your veins.

You hit his shoulder a couple of times to warn him but he was to in it himself to even dare pay attention.

“Ahh! Wait….” His thrusts became more intense as he felt himself getting closer, his breathing becoming labored and his grip on your hips tightening. You could feel his muscles flexing as he pushed into you, his movements becoming more erratic as he reached his peak. With one last thrust, he let out a loud groan as he released his climax.

He filled you inside, but he also keep going, asking you in the midst, “You didn’t come did you?” You shook you head desperately, which made him go in a trance, you were almost there but you hadn’t released yet and his mission to make you cum if not once then the most you ever done before.

Screaming matched the sounds of the running shower, it was like a competition, but clearly you were winning.

“ELGINNN!!!!” You screamed as you began to hyperventilate, the steam in the shower blind you, the air was thick but not well for you to catch it, you went limp as you felt yourself there.

You let out a chuckle.

“You okay?” He asked stilling letting you get off just a bit. You clutched a few times before saying anything but when you did, it was only a kiss in reponse.

exhausted from the passionate lovemaking, He smiled in the kiss, and you could feel the warmth radiating from his body as he pulled me close. We shared one last tender kiss before bursting into laughter, relieved to have shared such an intense moment of pleasure together.



[buttercuparry]

Thoughts about S2 :

Victor is my fav but I'm afraid they will kill him

Randall the fucking Conspiracy theorist can just suck my imaginary dick *pardon my language*

Jade god damn it just think before you speeeeak and buy yourself some Empathy™

Sara I misjudged you

Elgin u are my second fav don't die

slowwwwer season I prefer the 1 , also because the supernatural layers became a looooot but without any sense. I preferred it when it was about clues and they were going somewhere, here it seemed a bit too much with the dream dimension. You cannot establish rules and change all rules on the go

If Fatima's baby is a monster I riot

Ellis scared me I thought he would be dead by now

If we were in my nightmares omg it would be frogs everywhere and moths for u T_T brrrrrr

Not a fan of new characters in general

I would ship Sara and Kenny if they had not screwed that

Tilly is scary as fuck I never trust a granny in horror movies I have seen the visit

god damn it, Christopher!

Jimbojim is the stupidest guy in town ding dong new flash

Tabitha - Jade - Victor = my golden trio

Ethan : annoying kid in horror movie - video game trope

They will not need that much food with the pace they all die

Jade god damn it give back that bike

I miss Hot!Priest

It doesn't change anything to put Tabi out of the equation, it just feels like a potiential end if they had no budget for S3

Victor, my boy. He is trapped in that town since he was a kid, but it is also his home. He lost his mom, his sister, but he is trying, he is trying as he did but failed all those years ago. And people think that he has something wrong with him but he is trapped in his memories- but he forgets and so he draws and it is all so heartbreaking.

Randall can go fuck himself.

Jade is an asshole, selfish fucking prick, but I love him and he screams at haunted dolls and wears kitty t-shirts and has hallucinations of soldiers and dead men :3

Sara is the tortured oracle but she did pull a knife on a kid, following the instructions of those voices and I know being trapped in a town that won't let you leave will make you desperate but yeah...i haven't been able to look past that.

(She is desperately trying to make up for it and she feels so guilty and so much pain...maybe next season I will warm up to her again)

Elgin may you have the strongest plot armour.

Yeah totally, season 1 was more structured. I think in trying to mount horrors upon horrors, they over did it. It could have been the night creatures + something about the dream dimension. Or night creatures + the mystery of the forest. But they went creatures + lighthouse+ radio + dreams + ballerina + dolls and + and + and + and +....

It didn't really settle. Hoping season 3 would be better.

Prayer circle around Fatima. Let her AMD Ellis and their baby be happy.

Amelie please don't talk about moths being everywhere omg. Omg. OMG! OMGGGGGGH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I knew the moment they had another paramedic on the bus, that she would know Sara somehow. That she might even be her lover!

I don't know if I remember Tilly...

Jim is truly so stupid. Like ugh ugh...and the way he got led by Randall! UGH

YES! TABITHA-JADE-VICTOR!

Ethan is that special kid from every horror movie. He has got that something the forest wants!

Hot priest you were gone too soon and left behind your husband Boyd :(

I don't think they have put Tabitha out. In Tabs may now get to move around in the world and research why and where she got stuck with her family and how is it she got out. She isn't just going to sit around while her kids are still trapped!

[divorcingjimmatthews]

season 2 episode 5 reactions as i watch

huge spoilers obviously

(this is mostly for myself to have somewhere to scream as i go, its LONG AF youve been warned)

RANDALL IS SCARING ME SO MUCH LIKE PLEASE DONT BANG ON STUFF WHAT IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY MAKE THE TALISMAN FALL I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK WITH THIS SCENE. RANDALL STOP STOP STOP YOURE GOING TO DIE DUDE

(straight up cant watch the rest of the episode because i paused it and cant bring myself to unpause lmaooo. from ends here for me i guess)

ok its over thank god

JADE STOP DRINKING SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN. hes even sleeping with the fucking journal like please he needs 20 interventions

also dammit he actually moved to the bar i accidentally manifested it LMAO

can the show please stop torturing this man with the hallucinations please and thank you

TABITHA IS IN MAMA WOLF MODE LETS GO

boyd defending sara... knowing what happened to his wife and what she did... oh man. this hurts. knowing tabitha also lost a child before turns the intensity of all this to eleven millions

LMAO ok someone calling tabitha out for her basement hole and its consequences at long last. i love tabitha but like it has to be acknowledged

"That part i cant help you with" dang Good Line

honestly cant even imagine how sara is feeling i dont know what id be doing in her situation like just watching it stresses me so much.

ETHAN BABY :'(((( im sobbing

KRISTI IS SO PRETTY oh my god i am so bisexual right now. she cant just do this. the shirtttt. i think im seeing the sweetest and most beautiful woman in the world

dhsjfhsh marielle doing the same thing with the shirt that i had the reader do in my fic i cant even

"For a long time it smelled like you. Now it just smells" i laughed so hard

"Youre still you" 🥺

SARA GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU TRYING TO GET K oh yeah wait she probably is

oh its her house ok god i thought she'd gone to the matthews'

NEW HOUSE WHO DIS

cant belive an extra got one of the few houses this is so funny to me for no reason

this scene gosh. ouch. ouch. im taking 2 damage per second watching this episode

JADE. the bottles. jade my beloved this is point of no return level stuff. mrs Liu please come get him home

VICTOR

victoooor

"You dont look good" im losing it

thank you victor

victor 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love him. the sweetest

JADE IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU DONT BE LIKE THISSS

"WAIT" i fucking cant i love this man

"This took me all fucking night" jade never stop being the funniest mf on the planet please

jim calling tabitha tabby is so sweet it got me

"Faith. In you" oh boy. Oh man. Oh boy oh man. This scene. How is this show hitting every singe fucking note.

donna brought up abby omgomg

OK BUT CAN YOU BLAME HIM FOR WANTING TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVE THIS TIME

(maybe)

(arghhhh this is so hard)

"only monsters live in the woods" ethan i love everything you say. go my boy

(sara voice) okay

"The trees theyre changing" i love how victor is 100% harmless but could NOT be any more ominous lmaooo

CAR GRAVEYARD

"When i was alone i moved the cars because i didnt want to see them. Theres a lot more behind the rocks but those were already here" GODDAMMIT

no but victor is literally the sweetest man on earth. you were rightfully angry victor !! jade now you apologise.

"okay" ill kill him

victor sitting on the car 🥺🥺🥺🥺 im going to cry

what a scene. my god.

SARA HAS ONLY BEEN THERE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS?

"Do you live here in town" ELGIN i love you

poor julie if she knew her crush is out there flirting with the local murderer

"I like what i like and i like owls" based. thats me writing 300 jade posts per day

oh boy this scene (me about every scene)

"THAT PART ALWAYS SEEMED A BIT LIKE WISHFUL THINKING TO ME" im. ill be processing for 3 years

"Did you do something that needs forgiving?" elgin my sweet boy

jim rightly proud of his badass kid

"you put hate inside me" :'(

is she gonna give her her stuff damn shes too nice

a part of me is feeling like shes gonna smash it tho lmao

SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU MRS LIU

i am starting to assume that everyone forgot about tobey so jade is never even gonna know that it was sara lmao

KENNY

oh my god kenny

im hurt seeing him so hurt

TOWNSPEOPLE CAN WE GIVE KENNY A BREAK OVER HERE PLEASE WHAT R U STARING AT HES VERY RIGTHFULLY MAD HE HAS EVERY RIGHT

oh elgin

elgin youre too sweet

elginnnnn

everyones gonna hate you elgin 😭😭😭 i am suffering for you

KRISTI BECAME EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS NOT A DRILL

now please do jade

"KRISTI WHERE ARE YOU GOING BABY STOP"

KRISTI NO NO NOOOOOO

i love her so much

"People liked him, then he changed" dont do this to me

"I am at the end of my rope" oh god

TABITHA??????

holy fucking shit im going to die of heart attack

this doesnt have captions i dont know what the creepy ghost children are saying

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING I WISHED TABITHA AND JADE WOULD INTERACT AND LOOK AT THIS NOW

i knew jim would not vote box lets goo

BOYD WHY

Randall ????

OKAY that tabitha and marielle scene from last episode was bothering me so much i cant believe i didnt think of this

what an episode my god

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

SEASON 4 FINALE BABYYYYY

NOT STARTING OFF WITH COCO’S FUNERAL PLEASE

You know what tho? Letty might get her shit together. I hate it has to come like this but she might do it. I believe in her.

Angel can’t even go to the site because he FUCKED. COCO’S. DAUGHTER. Omg every time I remember I’m pissed off again

They didn’t deserve him. You’re so right Letty. He was the best of them and now he’s gone. Damn we really gotta say goodbye. Imma miss tf outta Richard on this show. He brought such depth to Coco. He was phenomenal.

TIG!! MY PSYCHO LOVE!! WAIT NOT HIM ABOUT TO KILL OL’ BOY

And not the Nurse coming in

$80,000?! FOR ONE JOB???

WAIT I KNEW IT

DONT. EVER. THREATEN. EZ.

Zeke is dead and gone yall. He gone. This is EZ through and through. This some cold-blooded shit right here.

EZ you should at least give the girls the money. Like they ain’t do nothing

NOT MANNY MEETING WITH THEM. JESS FINNA SET THEM UP. PLEASEEEEE NOT MY BABYYYYYYY

OH GOD THE SONS ARE HERE

I’ve missed Tig a lot actually. It has been so nice seeing him. I’m gonna take “sexy and bad” as a reference to Venus. Her and Tig are still together because I say so.

Oooo Marcus finding out that they killed Montez and they got a snitch in the clubhouse. Shit finna get realllllll

Creeper don’t even talk to her. It’s a waste of time. Shiiiiittttt she do got all your tea

AND SHE TOLD HIM THERE’S A RAT IN SANTO PADRE

i want that bitch DEAD. YA HEAR ME? KATIE IS DONE. KEEP COCO’S NAME OUT YO MOUTH

Louie is botching it but his heart is in the right place and this is really fucking nice. I think the car is really cute.

Padrino says it’s 3 to 1 and EZ says “more of them to kill”….WHATS NOT CLICKING EZEKIEL????

They’re staging a coup. I said Padrino would always have my respect but they were gonna dethrone or murk him.

Wait Adelita killed him?? How’d she get involved??

Emily been playing secret spy all season and it’s all been for NOTHING. Miguel got himself back together and got his son back so quick. I can’t stop laughing omg 😂😂😂😂

And no, I do not care that Erin is dead. Me and Holland have beef since the Teen Wolf years so I never cared about the character. I’m sure Emily will plan some way to avenge her next season but for now Miguel is winning and I am LIVING

Sofia throwing up and shit….guess we finna find out if she can really hang

NOT LIKE THIS!!! AND NOT BY FUCKING ISAAC DUDE. THEY FINNA BURN HIM??!!??!!!!

HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS!!

ELGIN WHEN I FIND YOU

Letty went and got Hope!! Okay that makes me feel better. That’s really nice. The women sticking together and I’m so damn proud of Letty! I KNEW SHE COULD! I just hope that Hope doesn’t run when things get hard again because they will and Letty is still growing. And so is she.

“We have that in common” You are yo Daddy son. DUH!

We finna lose Pops too?? He might as well tell the truth.

SECRET’S OUT LETS GOOOOOOOO

He finna killswitch????

Angel has a SON. He don’t wanna do this shit. What a fucked position to be in. But has he even told EZ about the baby yet??

EZ is out of CONTROL. They are so bloodthirsty and FOR WHAT? Y’all started this shit, wouldn’t even let Marcus finish talking because you’re thinking off pure emotion.

Y’all finna burn this club to the fucking ground. He is absolutely right. They gon see next season. They gone see.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE SEEING THE POWER PLAY FOR WHAT IT IS BUT IT’S TOO LAAAAAATE

Bishop’s face! Angel’s face!

Look at EZ sitting comfortable on the throne and giving a damn State of the Union address. THIS SPEEEEEECH!! HE’S WHACKED

Angel finna have a real tough time next season. Oh boy.

Poor Jay-Jay’s family….I guess this was Sofia proving herself tho. Ez really should give them the money. Some if it. Something.

That Ez and Angel scene was…..I don’t know what to say besides I’m real scared. I’m SO. SCARED. I just wanna repeat again that Ez IS GONE.

Creeper finna SNITCH?! DONT PISS ME OFF.

Oh HE IS TAKING ALL THE HEAT. A REAL MUTHAFUCKA FOR LIFE !!

Ez look a plum fool still on that twin mattress.

I think Angel got the location from Padrino and burned that bitch to the ground.

Wow wow wow y’all done stressed me tf out

See ya next season

[the-lady-general]

Insomnia essay about LDS, Reflections, beware of heavy spoilers. Terrible spelling, very rambly. I'm not getting any sleep and neither will you :p

Tl;dr: latest lds is one of my new favourite episodes overall, they're showing that geniune nerd passion that makes star trek so amazing. also i love where this season is going and i love that the showrunners are catering to me personally specifically. (lds is The Most Trek.)

i think it's telling that what gets mocked in both plots are the uniforms and the optics and the whack fringe bs that starfleet have to deal with (the delta flyer as the culprit for threshold, the brain worms from conspiracy). it's also telling that cadet rutherford has some of the most vicious criticisms against starfleet. but look at him and the passion he has for making space hot rods! rutherford-of-the-present is so shocked at how angry rutherford-of-the-past is, but they both care SO MUCH. they just want to build spaceships and go fast and make friends! present rutherford can see that past rutherford's anger is infantile, and he's lashing out because he's scared and hurt, presumably by the institution he trusts. there are still entirely benign options for the line "he'll think it was elective" - it might have been a traumatic accident and a next of kin decided to take the chance and not saddle rutherford with the memory for example. of course "starfleet was problematic" does make for the more compelling story. but considering how this season is going ("trust the system!" and it works! because this is the utopian future!), it would surprise me if they did it in any other way than "starfleet was problematic, and the problem is going to get fixed".

the archaeologist and mariner likewise is a super compelling subplot. because mariner wants to be the Bad Boy so badly, but she saved the contact after the archeologist revealed she's a good guy - just stealing the elgin marbles from the british museum/those toras from the vatican museum rather than doing it the long-winded paper-based way that starfleet would have done. and i can't remember right now and i'm too lazy to look it up, but was it mariner who complained about federation scientists always "taking the shortcut & not going through the academy" and then needing starfleet to rescue them in minding the mind's mines? we also don't see the archeologists motivations at all - does she geniunely care about returning the grand nagus staff because it's the symbol of office for the head of the ferengi theocracy? or does she just want to be the Big Damn Hero who Doesn't Play By The Rules? and does it even matter to rom and the ferengi?

(as an aside: does rom care about the stick. does he have a new one. is the old one in any way significant to him or his people. was zek's stick auctioned off for his funeral. rom's the fucking nagus, he could have hired a ferengi crew to steal it back and wouldn't have needed to rely on a human.)

and can you imagine getting mocked for "aren't you guys a military" not even a decade after the dominion war? when you're representing ALL peaceful interests of ALL member species? because the mission isn't just about expansion or border protection or w/e:

the presumption is that the universe is enormous and full of friends, life that we don't even understand, amazing phenomena that make you reconsider your place in life/society/the universe, technologies and cultures that can elevate the standard of living on a massive scale - and then you constantly come across, like, abandoned drones that destroy planets, lifeforms like the horta or the space amoeba that are dangerous to the unwary, parasitic life that destroys entire cultures on purpose, expansionist empires, cultures that choose outright fascism or slavery or personal gain over societal welfare. and your own people are constantly running away to the fringes and settling somewhere to found Weird Cults without legal oversight. And ultimately, the Federation has its problems, because how WOULDN'T you have problems, but there is such an emphasis on self-determination of members and neighbours that the result is a massive collection of cultures who enjoy such a high standard of living that even participation in society (work, military service etc) is entirely voluntary for billions of people.

And it's all so incredibly fragile. so when there's a cemented windsock or a cube or a romulan with ambitions or fucking butt parasites are headed for earth, who are you going to call? THE GUYS WHO JUST WANT TO STUDY QUASARS. and then you laugh at them because their sincerest wish is to not be a military, but they are the ones fulfilling that role when necessary.

(because they put themselves into that role on purpose. but that's the set up, isn't it? what if the military'a first mission was humanitarian and scientific? what if they tried to protect everybody regardless of membership status?)

I think for fans and official writers it's always tempting to look for the grimdark in starfleet because on the one hand, that's what's missing from the original vision (not really, there's plenty of grimdark right from the start, but they're optimists about it.). on the other hand the whole thing is coming out of american exceptionalism, which isn't the worst basis for speculative fiction. and on the third (?) hand, there has been this fashion since the early 2000s (and i blame 9/11 and shrek, whomst i love) of doing everything ironically and deride the kind of passion that makes star trek so great.

So the last episode was SO GOOD and very cathartic. They just want to study quasars and protect the right to self-determination of all sentient life! that's what they care about! and it's so easy to point and laugh and call them nerds because, to steal from tolkien's lotr foreword, they've bared their heart for all the world to see and take a shot at.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Okay baby boo, I feel like you might need this.

Do you always write characters true to canon? Yes and no. At the end of the day, you are neither Kurt Sutter or Elgin James. And they aren’t you. That’s the same for EVERY OTHER writer out there in this fandom and beyond. The purists can claim otherwise, but they aren’t correct. We’re all interpreting as we see fit.

Basically, you are taking these characters and placing them in an offshoot world of DDD’s creation. A beautiful, layered, slightly different world to what they exist in, and in your world, they act true - I think at least - to how they would if faced with what you throw at them in your plot(s).

Examples that have stuck in my brain:

Angel HURLING his phone in panic when he realized Keri was real in The Dream. He would do that. That’s too much for his little brain to process rationally, and you nailed it.

Basically the entire characterization of Chibs in Thief of your Heart. Nailed it. I could blindly accept that as canon if nobody told me otherwise. You also wrote Gemma flawlessly. That isn’t easy. Believe me.

Angel (again) finishing with Bella in Edge of Seventeen when he discovered her real age… only to go and mess up bigstyle by going back to her for one last time. Because he’s a mess and he’s needy and we’ve never seen him love a woman that hard on the show, but you took him there and with your god given talent, you showed us the side of him we all know exists.

EZ and Camille. All of it. I would have loved to have seen you work with him as truly dark of his own devices rather than the tumor, but it wasn’t my story, it was yours. And you did it justice. Loved Marge to death, btw.

Last, but not least, you gave us an actual character for Manny. We were robbed too soon to see much more in the show, but sweetie, you gave us him. I loved him and Hannah in all their flawed excellence.

You take these guys and you don’t take away from who they are, you add to them, Darkly girl! You give us a look behind the curtain. Build more onto them, and that isn’t canon, but it’s freaking wonderful. It’s the point of fanfiction. What you write is still very much believable to the situation you’ve created in your brilliant brain.

Don’t take it to heart if people can’t see this, sweet girl. You keep so many people enthralled with the creations you share with us. There’s never a word wasted, you’re clever and funny with it, the tenderness you detail is amazing, your smut is SO fucking incredible, and you give just the right amount of angst, even though I note that you do err on the lighter side with your stories. And that’s okay, because it’s your style. One day, you might give full on dark and stormy, unhappy endings steeped in melancholy. You might not. Both options are a-okay

Keep up the great story telling. Big kiss 😘

Might be crying a little bit right now, nonie. Might. That’s so kind of you, thank you for taking the time to share that x

[drabbles-mc]

Send a character ask game: Taza & Nestor

Ooo let's do this!

Taza Romero-

First impression: When I first started watching Mayans, I didn't really have any strong feelings about Taza one way or the other. I liked the chill energy and vibe that he gave off, but he wasn't a character that I initially felt very drawn towards.

Impression now: I wanna shake the man by his shoulders in the hopes it will knock some sense loose in his head. 😂 So much could've been avoided or at least handled differently if he just talked about what was going on! However that being said, I do really enjoy his character and I'm curious to see what they're going to do with his storyline next.

Favorite moment: Early seasons quips with Bish will always have a special place in my heart. And the little exchange with him and Creeper will always be a top-ranking moment for me 😂

Idea for a story: I have a request for him sitting in my inbox right now that I'm hoping to get started on today that I'm very excited about! Being able to build his character out a little more and give him a current (and less-heartbreaking) love story is something I'm super thrilled about getting into.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think it's necessarily unpopular but I think the fact that Taza didn't rock Bishop's entire shit at some point during s4 was a crime. I wanna see the man throw hands at the ex-president idc 😂

Favorite relationship: Early seasons I can easily say that he and Bish were my favorite. But I did also love the complicated relationship between him and Laura as well.

Favorite headcanon: It's come to my attention that never in the show is it ever actually stated that Taza lives on a ranch. But the actor who plays him does and that's just bled over into the characterization of the character for a lot of people in the fandom (myself included) and I really love that for us.

Nestor Oceteva-

First impression: Believe it or not, I was pretty indifferent about Nestor at first. I wasn't overly drawn to his character because he was so entwined with Galindo and I've disliked Miguel from the jump lmao. When I first got into the show, I definitely thought he was very attractive, and that scene where he and Bishop fight and smile afterwards definitely made me 👀 But he wasn't really on my radar at first.

Impression now: I love him, your honor. He's my character now, sorry Elgin. But real talk, the arc that he's had so far for someone who is such a minor character is really interesting to me.

Favorite moment: What isn't my favorite moment? 😂 I do really love the exchange with him and Marcus (I think it's in s2?) after they save Marcus from Hobart. A very close runner-up is the scene in s3 where Nestor has the gun to Marcus's head in the car because Gino's acting in that scene is just soooo chef's kiss. But the sweet moment between the two of them wins out for me

Idea for a story: I wish I could let y'all lose inside my head so you could take the plot ideas you like and write them because I never know if I'm going to get around to them all 😂 I have a few different AU's bouncing around in my head where Nestor has a younger sister and godddd I love the potential in the dynamic so much

Unpopular opinion: If Nestor never sees Miguel again it will still be too soon. That man never gave a fuck about Nestor and I'm glad Nestor dumped his ass 😂 (Miguel really is my enemy #1 in the show I love to hate him so I'm biased lmao)

Favorite relationship: Nestor and Marcus. I love the growth of that dynamic and I think that Marcus could be the mentor that Nestor has always needed.

Favorite headcanon: Bruh anything family-based for Nestor is an absolute fave of mine. I love thinking about what his relationship with his brother was like (and by extension Miguel as well). I love the idea of him with a younger sister. I love thinking about how complicated his relationship with his parents might be. UGh the family drama thoughts I'm obsessed

Send me a character and let's discuss!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

hello, me again (person watching the last leg) - i've reached series 11 and i'm still really enjoying this show so i've come back with more notes from the past few seasons

-so far my favourite guest has been jessica hynes, due to her calling trump and pence cunts and the story about punching a guy who threw eggs at her. in a similar vein i liked miriam margolyes, who called alex a yob and said they should bleep josh more and then proceeded to say cunt twice in quick succession. -i experienced a brief millisecond long crush on josh when he snapped "well we should give back the elgin marbles cos they're not fucking ours" like yes king rage against the british museum

Part 2:

-one of my problems with this show is their tendency to "both sides" things a little too much, so im worried for when the topic of transgender people starts to pick up. idk how bad it is in canada but in the uk the media is extrememly biased against trans people, including the bbc, so i've got a bad feeling it won't be handled with a lot of grace.

-i think my favourite example of someone still laughing after the segments changed is in s10 ep10, where everyone is still laughing well after alex's misguided joke and josh is in hysterics during the outro

-im still not used to politicians turning up, but i dont have such an instinctive knee-jerk reaction anymore. yesterday i watched ed milibands episode and i was not prepared for him to a) have a sense of humour, or b) make that pig fucking joke. that being said i'm glad they all have the snooty rp accent because otherwise i might start actually liking them.

-in bad news, i've just realised that they've taken all but the most recent three episodes off of all 4 so when i get to later seasons i'm going to have to head to reddit for pirating links. i dont understand why they'd do this, honestly it makes me really sad to think theres a chance it's gonna be gone forever.

anyway yeah, im still having a blast watching this!

That's great, I'm glad you're enjoying it! And glad you still have notes!

- Jessica Hynes has been fantastic every time on The Last Leg (and just on everything else she does, which is on my mind at the moment as I only just watched last week’s episode of Outsiders and I think the way she and Joe Wilkinson play off each other is the best thing about this season). She was very good next to Chris O’Dowd in that episode when he showed up hammered, a whole situation that I found so hilarious that it makes me readjust how highbrow I like to think my sense of humour is. Another thing that reminds me I’m really not above things like that is I think Miriam Margolyes saying “cunt” twice in about a minute, and the collective reactions to that, is one of the funniest things that’s ever happened on that show. I sometimes re-watch just that bit and lose my breath laughing every time. Margolyes comes back a few times in future seasons, and she’s just good every time.

- Yeah Josh Widdicombe is not super political, but every once in a while he says something like that with what sounds like some genuine venom behind it, and that’s always good. Welcome to crush on Josh Widdicombe club, even if you were only briefly a member!

- Yeah, the tendency to “both sides” is a recurring issue, and one that, to be honest, only gets worse. It’s mostly not that bad, the show does take clear stances on lots of the most important issues, but sometimes they drop the ball. I understand why, they’re a mainstream Channel 4 show and they’re not trying to get in trouble, and sometimes, to their credit, they say some controversial stuff anyway. But they’ve pulled punches at times that I haven’t liked.

I can’t recall a lot of specifics about the way they take on trans issues, but I think I’d remember if I ever thought they handled it particularly badly, so you don’t have to worry about that too much, with one glaring exception. In 2019, people on Twitter asked them to give the “Dick of the Year” award to Graham Linehan, and they refused. I agreed with their reasoning for refusing – it involved the fact that Linehan had Tweeted about how he wanted to win that award, and they have a policy against using their silly year-end thing as a way to give more attention to people who are actively courting that attention, so anyone who says they want to win the Dick of the Year isn’t allowed to win it. That’s fair enough, but I didn’t like the way they explained it. There was a very short, careful, speech that really “both sides”-ed the issue in a way I did not and still don’t like. I think people Tweeted about giving Linehan that award because transmisogyny is clearly an important issue to lots of fans of The Last Leg, and they dismissed those concerns with the way they responded. I wrote a post around this time last year with the exact wording of what they said, if you want to know how bad it was before getting further invested.

I think it was a serious misstep, and not the only time I’ve remembered that they’re not going to get on the wrong side of people who do things like significantly influence their industry or, for example, give them MBEs. Their recent post-queen death episode reminded me that I should not expect this show to take difficult positions on things (I didn’t expect them to come out calling for a Republican revolution or anything, but any nuance at all in their sycophantic reverence for the monarchy and all it stands for would have been fucking nice). Having said that, I think they’ve got a lot of things right over the years, and moments with which I have a significant problem are few. But it’s good to keep your expectations at a level where you’re not too disappointed when they refuse to rise above things.

- Back to fun parts! The outro is always the funniest time for one of them to have an uncontrollable attack of laughter, because it’s when they’re not able to make up lost time by rushing through other stuff later, so Adam really has to just keep reading the autocue over whatever’s happening. Always funny. More often happens with Alex, but sometimes with Josh too, and sometimes they just set each other off. I think that might be my favourite thing about The Last Leg – any time Josh and Alex set each other off about anything.

- Oh God, I forgot they had Ed Miliband on. I suppose the fact that he can be so likeable on a comedy show is why comedy shows shouldn’t have politicians, but having said that, they sometimes create among the best episodes (I have to admit the Nick Clegg episode made me like Nick Clegg, it’s a good thing I don’t have a vote in British elections).

- Don’t worry, The Last Leg is well archived not gone forever. Send me something I can reply to privately (a private message or a non-anonymous ask) if you end up having trouble finding links, though stuff from seasons 15-ish and later tend to be not that hard to find. The early seasons are tough though, I’m glad I picked those up when I did. And the London 2012 episodes might actually be gone, but the rest is out there.

[vodka-redbull-daily]

October 21st, 2023

*Graphic Sexual Content*

I took a little bit of a nap before getting up again at midnight.  I had told D-- that I was going into work today and originally that had been my plan. Back when we had made this plan like a week ago. D-- was very clearly a fake name or nickname but I don’t really care. It’s not like I’m actually looking to get to know him on that kind of level. If he wants to use a fake name, it’s whatever. Honestly, I should probably also do that. All the way back when I used to try and sell feet pics, I went by Erin Red. Maybe I should pick up that alias again. he seems pretty okay with me only being able to come see him after I get off work which is way too fucking early in the morning. he lives all the way out and Elgin too. That was a full hour drive from where I am.  but he wants to pay me 400.  might as well go.

We've been sexting throughout the week. I guess that's what it is. I keep saying messaging, texting, talking to, but I guess when you get down to it it is sexting. role-playing out sexual encounters through the phone, him constantly sending me dick pics, talking about what he was going to do to me when he finally got a hold of me. I've been talking this way with B--, S--,  and probably pretty much most of them if I think about it. and for some reason it didn't hit me until just now that I was sexing them. and that I probably should be charging for it. Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I am too much of a slut for my own good. I was honestly just enjoying myself and didn't even think about charging for it.

I got dressed and texted him that I was leaving. I was out the door by 1:00.  I stopped at the gas station  on the way there to fill up since we would be such a long drive and also got some red bull. i need that caffeine to keep me awake and Spunky since I had already had so much sex today  and was honestly caught off guard by how good it was with B------.  I was kind of hoping it would be mostly a let down like it was with everybody else. I'm all for sleeping with three different people in one day, but I was still a little bit sore from B------. don't get me wrong, I liked it. feeling sore between my thighs actually continuously turned around throughout the day  and that little bit of blood in my underwear got me all hot.

One of the good things about  it being so early in the morning, or late at night however you want to read it, was that there were almost no other cars on the road. I really don't think I would have gone if I had had to go during the day and fight traffic as well as Drive the entire hour. instead, I mostly just Cruised along the hallway there.  Since it's out in the middle of nowhere, the stars look really nice.

When I got there, I really thought he had either gone to sleep or he had sent me to the wrong address. The entire house was completely dark and the driveway was encircled with trees. I sent him a text and he confirmed that he was in fact there and was actually sitting on the porch. it was just so dark I couldn't see shit. so, I walked up to go say hi to him. For some reason, he just grabbed me and hugged me immediately. I don't know why that was. Maybe I felt less awkward for him but it felt way more Awkward for me. We sat on the porch for a little bit while he had a cigarette and it was really cold since I was wearing shorts and a crop top. He was very old. I mean I should have guessed that since his profile said he was 55 and his pictures showed an older man. but I guess I just forgot that he was actually that old.

so frail, voice doing that weird shaky thing that old people do. and the hug, I could even feel how loose his skin was on his bones. the lack of muscle mass. the beer belly poking out despite there being pretty much no other meat anywhere else on his bones. We sat outside and talked for a little bit about engineering stuff. He was talking about something about how his father had owned a factory that made pizza trays. I didn't really care that much to be honest. Soon enough, we ended up going back to his bedroom.

Once in the bedroom, he wanted to make out for a little bit. We did that as he slowly started to remove my clothes with his shaky ass hands. He made a comment about me being quieter in person that I was over text. I don't think guys understand the difference between having a conversation like that over text versus doing it in real life. I don't have time to think about the response, have time to type it out, see that it looks weird, and redo it. whatever. It wasn't very long before he took off his pants and had me suck his dick.

He had me suck his dick for so long. for such a long time I was just bobbing up and down on his dick as we would get hard and then go soft again.  He really was against me using my hands, apparently really excited by the fact that I had to chase his dick around with my mouth. It was so incredibly boring for me. We went on this for like 20 or 30 minutes. just me sucking his dick while nothing else was happening. He would make all these horrible old man noises. Finally, he had me bend over with my ass in the air and put on a condom. He made some joke about not wanting any more kids. He had barely got to dick inside me when it went soft again.

so, we went back to just sucking. so much to sucking trying to get it hard again. this time, it was just a limp noodle for quite some time. I don't know why I was fighting so hard to get the hard  again. probably because I was horny as fuck at that point and wanted to actually get dicked.  I don't know what's wrong with me, but I could honestly have sex all day long. I'm probably not tired of it. Maybe I should see a doctor about it.

It took another 20 to 30 minutes, but eventually he was up and at ‘em again.  I guess he realized that he shouldn't waste this opportunity since it might not  ever happen again. He put on a new condom, again had my ass up in the air and this time successfully put his dick inside me. He pumped in and out about four times before he came. It was a mixed bag of emotions about it being so short. On the one hand, I obviously didn't cum from that.  on the other, I kind of didn't want to be fucking this old man for hours and preferred it to be shorter rather than longer. Also, he was leaning very heavily on my shoulder, almost as if all of his weight was being pressed down on that hand and it was kind of hurting. 

He apologized for it being so short, but in the same breath was complimenting himself about how good his dick was. He also said that he thought that he was so big that he was hurting me. I know I make a lot of noise in bed and most of the time it's not even for show. I just make noise. but for some reason he confused my usual moans and whippers  for cries of pain, I guess.  We laid there for a little bit more,  made out for a little bit, then we got dressed again. I think I'm starting to realize that going more than one round per person is not very common. I guess I'm just spoiled. with Him,  we used to go over and over again. for hours at a time. we would soak through all the sheets, he would use two or three condoms.  I guess that's what I'm looking for and I'm not going to be able to find it here. 

I got my money off the counter. Four crisp $100 bills.  actually, it was more like two brand new crisp $100 bills on two very old, very wrinkled $100 bills. I made a joke to D----- that they matched him. She was disgusted, but also found it funny. On the drive home, I saw a little bit of a  high speed chase, I guess.  it was literally the middle of nowhere and a cop was following pretty close behind me. I was a little bit worried since my registration has been out for months now and I don't have insurance. He was so far behind me and he had his lights on already that I really didn't know what to do.  Then, I noticed that he was actually following this big van. like one of those kidnapper type bands. The van didn't have his lights on so that's why I hadn't seen it at first, but they were pretty quickly catching up to me and I was speeding a little bit.

(I always speed a little bit. sue me)

 The van and the cops weren't going incredibly fast, but they were definitely going faster than me. He came all the way from miles and miles behind me before they both finally passed me. I kind of pulled a little over to the side  because I wasn't really sure what was going on. I just wanted to get out of their way.  if the van was helping the cops, then it wouldn't want to be on their way in case the cops got pissed off at me for being too slow. and if the van wasn't helping the cops, then I didn't really want to help out the cops because fuck that shit. on the other hand, depending on what the van was in trouble for, maybe I should have helped? who cares. again, they weren't actually driving that fast so I don't know if it was really a chase. It was just weird. They drove past me, again not zooming past me, just driving, and ended up getting so far ahead of me that it wasn't really my problem anymore. 

Total Earned: $1,400

Body Count: 7

Dick Pics: 6

Sex Ranking:

B------

Him

T-----

R--

T-----

D--

M---

[eusuntgratie]

Ramble about country music AUs for 500 words, pls.

okay last one for tonight but i'm too excited not to answer this.

y'all i'm so obsessed with this fic its ridiculous. i have annoyed at least four humans by talking about it too much.

centrifugal motion is a country singers tknp au and its so goddamn good i don't know where to begin. yes, of course, it is well written and the characters are incredible. but there's two reasons this fic really stuck with me i think.

one is that the author did a phenomenal job of blending people form one universe into another world. this is one of those fics where i just got totally lost in that universe. i just wanna swim around in there forever. i am truly, genuinely sad that i cannot go to a travis konecny concert or buy West Elgin Standards or see Nolan Patrick and the Lonely Hearts live or buy his merch. its devastating.

second, is that the author is a southern queer who wrote the story for other southern queers, and damn they did a phenomenal job. i think anyone and everyone should read this fic, but if you're from the American South or spent a lot of time there, if you grew up listening to country and folk and bluegrass, if you're a queer person from the south, if you have a weird or complicated relationship with country music (I AM ALL OF THESE THINGS), it will speak to your soul. so many little moments, references to specific songs, the way the characters talk about music... i could go on and on. there's five playlists attached to the fic to give you the vibes and they all punched me right in the face in the best way. i teared up in the grocery store listening to song i haven't heard in a decade. i dug up an old country playlist and started devouring new ones and have been singing my heart out ever since.

i'll also just add that while y'all know i love angst, i love that my boys don't suffer for being queer in this one. it was just so goddamn lovely to read their love story. i don't want to spoil, but reading about these two falling in love and choosing to live their lives on their terms was just really fucking good for my soul.

this is one of those fics that i will read over and over. it came to me at the right time and i'm so so so grateful i found it. go read it! and after you read it, check out the other works inspired by because there is a truly amazing love letter to fandom about this 'verse that is just so fucking cool.

sleepover weekend | ask grace

[tackysapphic]

i love museums but sometimes I just remember out of nowhere like just how much is stolen and I just am Filled with rage. GIVE THAT SHIT BACK