#fucking fight me crab

[hippolotamus]

Another off the menu request for the WIP game…

🦀🔪🦞🤿

The OGs will know.

-a totally anonymous anon

For you Totally Anonymous Anon

It’s been several (occasionally tense) months since Crab moved in with Lobster. While the space had seemed ideal at first, it became considerably less so as time went on. They often found their claws and shells knocking into each other. Especially during periods when Crab would regress and insist on carrying his knife everywhere.  Lobster loved Crab, and treasured his very existence. In fact he often found himself wondering how he had ever lived alone. However, Lobster did not care for being poked and prodded.

I may regret this, but if you have no idea what this means, please go here for something truly ridiculous and fun

Also tagging @stereopticons @lizzie-bennetdarcy @tizniz @statueinthestone @diazsdimples @spotsandsocks

[lucksea]

happy pokemon day to the best pokemon ever made... maybe one day you will be in another game

[daisychainsandbowties]

"the idea that ava regularly DOES miraculous things, but the only miracle she seems aware of is beatrice,, is the simple truth of being alive."

did you have to?? did you really fucking have to because i think not. suing for emotional damages or whatever 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

i’m sorry someone will mention ava silva and i immediately lose the ability to be normal

[crehador]

parting thoughts on ragna crimson (first cour)

i think it was... the first episode? that i didn't really vibe with. felt like a decent enough fantasy, but unremarkable in just about every way

THEN A WEIRD GUY APPEAR

iirc it wasn't until the second week that we really met crimson, which is kind of a shame because imo the show doesn't really start to come together until then. i like ragna well enough, but it's really the combination of the two of them that compels me

always love a duo where they have the same goal, but drastically different personalities/values/modes of operation/etc

always extra love a duo that's like "team up with me, a dragon, to kill all dragons then once we've achieved our goal you'll kill me too"

(like vanoe but with dragons. i think. my memories of vnc are actually very hazy)

and always extra extra love when ayu gets to just do his thing, playing guys who are girls who are guys who are etc etc etc

it's certainly not the best of the season, and still overall fairly unremarkable imo, but also not really bad in any way. if there's one thing i find lackluster i guess it's that i feel like they don't lean enough into this... pseudo-past life thing that ragna has going on (with the powers and presumably memories of his 'older self' passed down to him)

like ragna is still more or less his 'normal' self in terms of personality, which is fine, he's got a fun enough personality, but if he had some like... old man tendencies mixed in there, or if we saw more of his memories with crimson maybe? i don't know, just feels like something more could have been done with that fusion of past and present (or rather future and present)

looking forward to the second cour but at the same time... hoping this series won't be too long lol

[televenus]

what did i do to deserve getting obsessed with street fighter

[hauntingblue]

Pluton lore: it can be used to make islands disappear. But why would crocodile want that

Zoro no learning that a swordsman is worth nothing if he can only attack and can't protect... yeah yeah yeah

Water luffy is so silly but makes so much sense like this is how we got to gear 5... also robin laughing.... this is where she thought she might join... like at least she will laugh with them. Also crocodile gets mad right after so it works to rile him up too!! Magnificent plan luffy

[rivilu]

This stardew run has been so unintentionally funny bc by the time I was even close to 3 hearts with Elliot I was nearly maxed with pretty much every other bachelor (and also Maru bc strawberries)

[divinepriestesskokomi]

We don't talk enough about how goddamn funny Tighnari is. That man is unphased by everything.

Cyno shows up at his doorstep with a small child who is traumatized, illiterate, terminally ill, and has an ancient god sealed away in her body, and asks him to help raise her, and Tighnari's only objection is that he doesn't know how to teach preschool level academics.

He eats a poisonous mushroom, passes out, and has a hallucination and just goes "damn that was crazy. Let me write it down for science."

The dudes in charge of the whole country repeatedly beg him to come work for them and he tells them to fuck off.

The second fatui harbinger, said to be as strong as a god, threatens him and he basically tells him to fuck off too.

The traveler gets possessed by god and then comes back to tell him that the sages are building a false god and he's like "Damn that's fucked up. Anyways I gotta go check on my patient."

Dehya and the Traveler basically say "Hey we are helping Cyno overthrow the government" and he's just like bet.

He get's struck by lightning and is just like "Oof. Anyways gotta go check on my patient, good luck fighting a god".

He finds an illegal sentient robot crab and just adopts it and tells the matra not to worry about it.

He passes out from heat exhaustion in the desert and is just like "Damn. I'll need to bring some sunscreen next time".

Finds out Cyno has a long lost brother/cousin and is just like "Cool. Why don't you come over for dinner, meet the family".

The craziest shit can happen to this man and he's just like "Allright why not. This might as well happen" and I love that about him

[asstalos]

i may just be biased but playing through the game world’s roster does feel a little boring

[arinmoss]

i still very much have an old commission i have to finish first before i do anything else but ONCE ido finish it i might..........i might just hve to draw some of these bachelors......namely elliot and sebastian lmao

[hippolotamus]

AO3 Wrapped 2022

Tagged by the lovely @shortsighted-owl Thanks for the hoot! 🦉

This year I dove into the 911 fandom and tried to branch out in SC. Made lots of new fic friends and had a blast collaborating on everything from pining to angsty to completely ridiculous 🔪🦀🤿🦞

Works Published: 19 (!)

Word Count: 137,281 words

Hits: 30,170

Bookmarks: 555 (I assume we're using the stats bookmarks here? If it's my bookmarks the number is 73)

Most Popular by Kudos: I'm weaker than a man should be (Buck/Eddie)

Most Hits:  There are some things you know... (Buck/Eddie)

Longest: Whatever may come... (Buck/Eddie) (59,522+ words)

Shortest:  This is the miracle that I've been dreaming of (Alexis/Twyla) (830 words)

Most Comments:  The Sound of My Heart (David/Patrick)

Fic that made me cry:  Warm Hellos and Our Last Goodnights (David/Patrick) Folks, cry is an understatement. The correct term is sobbed. I sobbed. Buckets of tears. Required lots of rehydration and actual rest to recover from.

Fic that made me smile: I know all your secrets (David/Patrick)

Gifts: Give Your Heart & Soul to Me for @walnuts-and-berries

Technically The Sound of My Heart for @vanillahigh00 I started it December 2021 and finished in January 2022

Collaborations: co-authored Could you love the ocean with me? with the lovely @shortsighted-owl and exchanged boatloads of ideas back and forth with others

Events: debatably Finish it Fest

Tagging: @stereopticons @blackandwhiteandrose @apothecarose @alysiswriting @rmd-writes and loml @lizzie-bennetdarcy 💖😘

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

(not in a necessarily bad way and it's by Clockwork's design)

Bats, or Constantine, or the JL, or whoever you want to be close to Danny in this prompt, don't notice it right away. It takes them a while to figure out its not purely coincidence. And even after they do figure it out, they still have their doubts.

The thing is, it doesn't work all the time. It also doesn't seem to have a system or a schedule to it, nor is it any kind of a superpower, as far as they can understand. By God, does Danny have way too many superpowers, but most of them are consistent, and yet this one... is weird. Weirder than anything they've seen before, and they've seen a lot, okay.

It also only works if Danny does it without thinking.

"You know what'd be perfect right now? A cheese sandwich," Danny says over the comms, in the middle of the fight with Dr. Freeze, "A warm, grilled cheese sandwich just out of the toas- Owch, what?" There's a pause. And then, "Guys, you're not gonna believe it, a cheese sandwich just smacked me in the face! I think someone threw it out of the window or something!" Danny sounds bewildered, but excited, and there's a sound of chewing from his comm now. At least he is eating, so that's good.

"I fucking hate robots," he grumbles the other day, punching his way through the Brainiac invasion in Metropolis, with no comm and only for the Supes to overhear, "No, correction, I hate only evil robots. The ones that interrupt my astronomy class. The ones that shoot motherfucking lasers and walk like crabs, and ruin a perfect day, and- I wish- aw, fuck, no, that's bad wording. Don't wish for shit. But if all these robots would just suddenly, miraculously malfunction and stop attacking me and the whole city, that would be, like, real nice of them."

A few minutes later, something goes wrong with the Brainiac's control over the army of robots, and all of them just stop moving and fall down at once. It is deemed as a chance, a lucky shot, a coincidence. Supes keeps quiet over what he heard Danny say.

"Oh, you bitch-ass fruitloop, you know what I want?" Danny yells at Plasmius, as the ghost is laughing like a madman, "I want a fucking brick to fall down right on your head, like, right now! Maybe that can set your brains straight for at least five minutes!" And even before he is finished talking, there's something falling down from the sky and hitting Plasmius's head. It's not a brick, to be exact, it's Miss Martian's shoe, though. She has no idea how it even came undone and fell from her foot. But it did somehow knock Plasmius out cold, so there's that.

It doesn't happen all the time. Red Robin does the math - the improbable accidents only happen in about 26% of the situations, given that Danny says something. It's by no means a reliable power. It also doesn't happen only during the fights: there were numerous times when Danny just said something like 'I wonder if the cafeteria serves garlic bread today' and sure enough, there's garlic bread there. Even if it was not on the menu. Ever.

They try to question Danny himself, but he has no idea. He doesn't even notice the coincidences most of the times - which is not surprising, knowing that they only happen in one out of four situations and Danny is known to have a short attention span. So, after a few unsuccessful investigations and failed attempts at calculating how this even works, they all give up. It has never jinxed anything, as far as they know, so everyone just leaves it be.

Danny is just magically lucky like that.

Meanwhile, Clockwork is having a good laugh about it. Danny's suggestions amuse him, and it's funny to watch the other superheroes having a mental breakdown over it, so he rigs the timeline from time to time. Just a little.

[nikolaibelinski]

me laying out my logical points to God for my dad waking up and living thru hospice care

[void-tiger]

Fighting through erganomic and setup limitations and logistics For Me: NAH.

Doing it for friends’ projects: yeah!

[fishpostings]

you know what? fuck it. im going to fight every nautical poster on this site. @official-crab-posts is the latest on my list. fight me in the tournament for most nautically awesome posts.

[littlebigplanet]

the ocean loves me so much. it loves everyone so much. the salt air and the sound of the waves and the wind-chill and the motion of the water are all ways to say i love you