#fucks because he didn't even complete his training like what we know of it is that he was smelling flowers and singing how is that a well

[rafesslxt]

please please please do some hardcore fluff! i just want to see Theo really showing his love language (physical touch) like randomly touching y/n and doing anything to be close to her! kind of “i wish i could be in your skin” kind of thing, if you can!

touch starved | Theodore Nott

note: hi, thank u so much for my first request! I wrote a little bit with my ideas too, hope you still like it <3

warnings: some cursing, angst, arguing, hufflepuff!reader, me trying to write hardcore fluff, lmk if there are more

note: request are OPEN! English is not my first language

Theo was always interested in being as close to you as he could. He would love to just crawl under your skin if that was somehow possible. He loves to touch you, no matter where you are or who’s around you two.

But there were moments when this also brought its difficulties.

"Now, everything you need for the potion is at the front, take the ingredients you think would be suitable and get started." Professor Slughorn said.

Theo stood up like the good boyfriend he is and got all the Ingredients that he and y/n needed. "Here principessa, got everything we need." "Thanks Theo.“ You gave him a small kiss on his left cheek and started with the potion right in front of you.

Your boyfriend stood as close to you as possible, sometimes even right behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and stirred the kettle. He knew that other students gave him looks sometimes, but he didn't care. He just had to be near you and touch you in some way. He couldn't help it, you're like a drug to him that he can't get enough of.

Whether it was your soft skin, which smelled of vanilla from your bodylotion or your long shiny hair that smelled of peaches and was so easy to wrap around his fingers.

Your own scent drove him crazy the most. When you came fresh out of the shower, with nothing on you. Sometimes it took hours before you could finally get dressed and Theo would take his hands off you.

But he especially loves it when you play with his hair while you're both lying on the sofa in the Slytherin common room. The light tugging on individual strands made him moan softly and drove him crazy. Again, doesn‘t matter If you‘re alone or with your friends beside you. They all knew that Theo was completly smitten for you.

He also liked it when you gave him a massage after training Quidditch. "Yeah, right there baby, that‘s it.“ He groaned. He needed this. Your touch, your skin on his skin, your hands on his muscles. 

" Theo? You there ? I think it is ready, you can stop stirring." He woke up from his daydreams and looked down at himself. You were already looking up at him, chin resting on his chest. " Yeah, sorry." He put the trowel aside to stir and put both hands on your hips now. His lips just touching yours slighty as he whispered " You're beautiful." " Thank you." She smiled at him and placed both her hands on his abs above his shirt now.

His head lowered next to your ear " I need to feel you amore. Need to feel your skin on mine." He whined.

You giggled and looked around embarrassed. " Teddy, we're in the middle of class, you'll have to be patient." " Ugh... I fucking hate school."

That was a week ago now.

It had been a week since he had been able to touch you. To say Theo was on the edge was an understatement.

" Where's your other half Nott?" Blaise, who took every chance to gossip, asked. " What do you care?" Theo bit back, knowing that he didn't ask because he cared. "Oh just so, I'm just surprised as you were inseparable before and now you're hardly ever seen together. Trouble in paradise?" He provoked.

Mattheo had to hold Theo back so that the situation didn't escalate completely, but truth be told, Theo was just as worried. For different reasons to Blaise, but he wasn't entirely wrong. It was as if you were slipping out of his hands like sand. It was the weekend now and just like every other weekend before, you and the boys were always out together as a group in Hogsmeade.

What Theo didn't know, however, was that you weren't ignoring him on purpose, let alone ignoring him at all. You just had a lot on your plate, helping other students with their lessons, being a assistant for some teachers with extra work, doing your own homework and being Head Girl of your house. You had so much on your plate that you didn't even realize Theo was feeling like this.

"Where's y/n?" Mattheo asked his best friend a little more quietly so that the conversation remained private. " She's helping some first years with their studies and finding their way around Hogwarts now that the new year has started. "

Just as your boyfriend was about to hit his head down on the table, a soft voice sounded next to him " Hey baby, why are you hanging your head like that?" " Principessa?" His head shot up and his face began to beam with joy. " Come here sit with me." He scooted a little closer to Mattheo to give you more room. A few Slytherins gave you looks because you were sitting with them as a Hufflepuff, but you were already used to that.

You grabbed something small to eat and chatted with the rest of the table. You immediately feel Theo scoot close to you and put his hand on your leg. You smile a little and look at him. " What's wrong?" " I missed you." He whispered against your head, smelling your hair for the first time in a week. " When are you free again?" He asked and reached for your hand, but you stood up again at the same moment.

" I have to go, but I'll see you later, yes? " You quickly gave him a kiss and grabbed some more fruit. " What? But you haven't even eaten properly? Where are you going?" " Helping first graders, you know that." You smile and disappear from the Great Hall just as quickly as you came.

" Ugh…" Now he dropped his head on the table.

The day passed and it was time to go to Hogsmeade. "Hey man, maybe she's already there or she'll be coming after, don't worry." Mattheo tried to reassure his friend.

" It pisses me off. I'm her boyfriend! I should be more important than some stupid first years." Theo paced up and down the common room. " Yo, can we go?" Draco asked, coming out of his room. " Go ahead, I'll catch up with you." Determined, Theo got up and walked in the direction of the Great Hall first. Maybe you were hungry and came back. As he searched half the school for you, all sorts of thoughts and worries ran through his head.

What if you deliberately seek out so many tasks to keep your distance from him? What if your relationship is coming to an end? No, that couldn't be. He's the perfect boyfriend. He always listens to you, is always there for you, supports you in all your decisions, is attentive, loves spending time with you, even if it wasn't that important to you, but he also showered you with gifts.

Where could you be? He thought until a light bulb came on above his head. The library, of course. He ran up the many stairs until he stood in front of the library. Nervously, he looked for you. What happens if he asks you about it? What should he do if she says that she no longer wants to be in a relationship with him?

Although all the girls in Hogwarts were after him and he's extremely self-confident, he only had eyes for you and you were probably the only person in the world who could make him feel that way.

His heart skipped a beat when he discovered you with three first years. He cleared his throat quietly so as not to startle you. "Teddy? What are you doing here?" y/n whispered. You're the only one who's ever been allowed to call him that. The boys sometimes made fun of him, but were very quiet as soon as he threatened them.

" Can we talk for a moment? It's important." He urged, looking between her and the students. "You keep working on the task I gave you, okay? I'll be right back." The little ones nodded obediently and continued to work diligently.

You walked with Theo a few shelves to the back where you could talk undisturbed. "Is everything all right? Did something happened?" You asked worriedly. "Don't you want to be with me anymore?" He asked directly. " What? What are you talking about?" Confused and a little disappointed, she looked at her boyfriend. " You're not here all week y/n, no matter when we see each other, I have the feeling that you're taking every opportunity not to be with me. I - I'm scared for us. I miss you, damn I can't be without you around." He confessed.

"Teddy, that's absurd. I just want to help! You know I need good grades for my degree and it's easier to get them that way. I would never want to hurt you." She took a few steps towards him. "But you do! We are a couple! Shouldn't we be together more? I miss you so much, it's like my air is gone to breathe. I - I love you, y/n. Fuck I love you so much!"

Although they were together, neither of you had ever said the L word before. " You- You do?" " Of course! Why else would I be with you? Why else am I looking for you all over the school? Why don't you understand me?" Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair, completely enraged. " Theo I l - " " No you know what ? Forget it. It was stupid to come here, don't let me bother you. " " But - " but he was already out the door. " - I love you too." You whispered as he disappeared from the library.

On the way out, he realized what he had said. Fuck, wasn't he wrong after all? He knows how important your future and grades are to you. The more steps he took towards Hogsmeade, the more nauseous he felt. For the first time he told you that he loves you and then left you like that? Merlin, he has to straighten that out.

When he arrived in Hogsmeade, he bought a large quantity of your favorite flowers and lots of roses, chocolate and a present.

He was walking through the alleyways when the boys came towards him, Mattheo at the front. "Hey man, we've already seen you - what's wrong with you? Didn't go so well huh?" Theo shook his head. " No, not a bit, to be honest, I completely messed it up."

" Good luck then, don't mess it up again. She's pretty cool for a Hufflepuff," Mattheo grinned.

Back at Hogwarts, Theo already had a plan but he needed help. "Jane! Hey, I need your help, please." He looked at your best friend, who only returned his look in confusion. "What do you want, Nott?" She wasn't the biggest fan of his, but respected y/n's decision and trust in him. " I know it sounds crazy, but you have to let me into your common room." Jane started to laugh out loud " What? Have you gone crazy? In case you haven't noticed, you're a Slytherin."

" Jane please, I messed up and I need to apologize to her. I have something planned for her ." He pointed to the flowers and presents in his hand. "And you have to do this in her room?" She asked with a sigh. "Please." He swallowed all his pride and tried to be as convincing as possible.

Annoyed, your best friend exhaled and shook her head. "Okay, but let's keep this between us and for the record, I'm only doing this for y/n!" If Theo wasn't himself, he would have loved to squeeze her for joy. "Thank you! Can you give this to y/n? It says that she should meet me in her room." She took the note and pocketed it.

"Then come on, I don't have all day." She led him to the entrance of the Hufflepuff. " You never tell anyone about this, understand?" He nodded and continued to follow her. They walked through the same corridor as the school kitchen was. Suddenly, Theo stood in front of huge barrels, looking questioningly at them

Jane tapped on a barrel that was stacked between two others. She did it in a certain rhythm. Suddenly, the path to the common room opened up. Theo had never seen it before, let alone heard of it. " Through there, up and you're inside. Her room is the tunnel on the far left." " Thanks again. " He walked through the middle barrel and then up a short steep path through an earthy corridor, which brought him to the common room. The room was empty, probably everyone was out in Hogsmeade or somewhere in the castle for the weekend. As Jane had told him, he went through the small underground tunnel on the far left. The doors were round and looked like the lids of barrels.

Not quite his taste, but it all looked very cozy and sunny. (JKR had probably once described it that way.)

Inside y/n's room, Theo started putting up his favorite flowers and scattering rose petals around the room. He placed chocolate on the bed and kept the present in his pocket. It wasn't long before he heard the door open.

"Theo? What are you doing here?" You spoke a little more quietly, afraid that someone would notice that he was here. "Y/n please listen, I'm incredibly sorry. I shouldn't have hit on you like that, I know how important your grades are to you and I should have known that you wouldn't ignore me on porpose. And I'm also sorry that I just left like that after I said I love you. "

" Oh Teddy… " You walked up to him and hugged him tightly. He threw his arms around her and hugged her as tight as he could. " Is it true what you said?" " What do you mean?" " That you love me? " He looked down and took her face in both hands. " Of course, I love you amore. You're all that matters to me. That's why I reacted the way I did. I was… desperate and so… fucking touch starved. " I love you too, Teddy. " you told him with a smile on her face, looking into his eyes.

" Really?" He couldn't have been happier. " And all this wasn't even necessary." She pointed to the rose petals and chocolate. "Because I'm sorry too, I really should have thought more about us. Jane's going to help me tutor the children from now on. That way I have more time for us."

" I'm so glad everything is okay." He whispered against your forehead. " Me too." He took your chin between his fingers and lifted your head. " You're driving me crazy, dolcezza."

His lips brushed yours just softly at first, until you couldn't wait any longer and filled the gap between you two. The kiss was gentle but passionate. Theo grabbed both of your thighs and lifted you up, whereupon you wrapped both legs around him.

He sat down on the bed behind him, with you on his lap. You started giggling as he began kissing your neck. " Teddy… I don't know when Jane is coming back." " I want you so so so so bad… " " I know, but now is not the right time. I'm sorry… " He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled gently. " It's okay, don't worry about it. Besides, I have something for you. " He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cute little package with a bow. " Here baby, open it. " " Theo… you didn't have to do that, really. "

"Open it, trust me you'll love it." You carefully open the bow and flip open the small box. You accelerate quickly. " Oh Merlin, it's beautiful Theo. " With tears in your eyes, you took the golden necklace out of the box. On it hung the letter T which was set with small individual diamonds. "Will you put it on me?"

He took the necklace from your hand and pulled your hair to one side. He carefully put it around your neck and then put your hair back over your shoulders. "Thank you Teddy, I love it." Full of love, you kissed him, causing him to fall backwards onto the mattress. He briefly parted from your lips and looked down at your decollete, where his letter T now lays. " Fuck, now I want you even more than before. " You had to start giggling again. " Trust me Teddy, the right moment will come. " you said and sealed your words with a kiss.

Hope u enjoyed! Part 2 ?? Let me know ;)

my master list

xoxo Sarah

[taintedcigs]

we’d still worship this love — e.m.

part two of even if it’s a false god.

pairing: modern!college!fboy eddie x fem!reader

warnings: smut!!!!!!, 18+, MINORS DNI. p in v, cr*ampie, unprotected s*x, angstangstangst, eddie regrets everything!!, jealous eddie, a bit of protective steve, drinking, swearing, praises, nicknames, fluff!!

summary: in which eddie regrets what he said to you. (wc:6.3k+)

a/n: literally the lyrics match up soooo well w the story imo im sorry for the last line ok i rlly tried to hold myself back not to directly write any lyrics lmao. this is CHEESY. i hate THE ENDING. as usual! but im so glad u guys liked pt. one and i didn't want to deprave any of u !!! i did not proof-read so pls ignore any mistakes!! hope u guys enjoy this lmk what u think mwah!!

Eddie sighed as he checked the kitchen, you were still nowhere to be found.

He had fucked up.

So badly.

He grabbed the half-empty red cup sitting on the kitchen stand. A whiff of alcohol hit his senses as soon as he tried to sniff it; it reeked, but Eddie didn’t care at this point, downing it like it was water.

He grabbed the pack of cigarettes sitting in his back pocket, walking miserably toward the backyard as he lit the cigarette sitting between his lips.

“Let’s get you to Steve’s, yeah?” The voice that passed by him was quick to grab his attention.

Robin.

“Robin?” He exclaimed excitedly, causing Robin to mouth “Don’t”.

He took a step to get closer to you but stopped quickly in his tracks; he had caused enough fucking damage.

He made his bed, and now he needed to lie in it.

He watched as you and Robin left, leaving him all alone. 

2 HOURS LATER

DON’T ANSWER: im so fuckhjing sorry

DON’T ANSWER: i didnt fuckingmeanit lije that i swear

DON’T ANSWER: pls talk to me

DON’T ANSWER: r u at steve? i can come

DON’T ANSWER: pleaseeeeee we can’t leave things like this. 

You heaved a sigh reading his texts, he was drunk again, and you weren’t going to entertain him.

You blocked this contact. 

“He’s texting me.” You groaned, chucking your phone away as you plopped yourself onto Steve’s bed.

“What did he say?” Steve asked curiously.

“He wants to see me and talk, he’s drunk again.” You replied curtly, head still filled with the words he uttered to you.

“I just… I can’t believe he’d say that.” Robin chimed in, shaking her head.

“I could. He’s an asshole.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah… but I always thought he had a soft spot for you.” Robin muttered.

You chuckled dryly. “He has a soft spot for my body.” You crinkled with disgust.

Robin shook her head as she spoke. “No, I mean it, Y/N… I really don’t believe he meant it like—” 

Steve was quick to interrupt. “Jesus, Robin, stop making excuses for him. I know he’s your friend and all, but he fucked up. And there’s nothing he can do now to ever take back the things he did to her!” He exclaimed, the two of them started bickering back and forth. 

You wanted to sink into the bed; you so badly wanted to believe Robin, believe that Eddie’s words were all just a lie, just something he made up on the spot just because he was afraid. 

But Steve was right—even if it was a lie, even if it was all a huge misunderstanding, nothing he could do would undo the amount of pain he caused you. The nights you spent sobbing—nothing could change that. 

But a part of you also knew that, if Eddie ever caught you in a moment of weakness again, you’d do it all over again; you’d let him ruin you all over again, just to have him complete you for the mere seconds he made you feel loved. 

The bickering and the storm in your mind stopped with a sudden knock on Steve’s door. 

The three of you looked at each other in unison.

Shit.

Did that stupid bastard really have the audacity to come here? 

You looked over at Steve with pity, about to open your mouth and beg, plead with him to do something, and he was quick to understand your train of thought. “I got this.” He muttered, hand squeezing your knee for comfort before he attended the door. 

As soon as the door swung open, there he was, blood-shot eyes and messy hair framing his face. He was shitfaced and could barely stand against the door frame. “Munson.” Steve affirmed sternly. 

“W—where is she?” Eddie slurred, barely even letting Steve speak. 

“She’s not here.” Steve said without letting Eddie take a look. 

“Look, man… I know she is, please—” He tried to push past him, but Steve stood his ground, blocking his way before his face turned cold. 

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Steve almost hissed, the intensity of his gaze taking Eddie back. 

“Don’t make this any harder and just leave, yeah?” Steve muttered, almost shutting the door before Eddie’s heavy boots interfered. 

“Please.” Eddie pleaded, making Steve huff as he threw a quick glance your way, and you quickly shook your head, mouthing ‘no’s.

But that was it; Eddie barged in as he used Steve’s distraction to his advantage, you gasped when the door swung open, revealing Eddie. 

He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, his gaze held guilt and relief. Guilty because of the fact that he uttered those words to you. But, relieved that he saw you, relieved that he could finally explain himself to you.

Yet you looked at him with such disgust that it ached his heart, putting on a heavy ache on his chest. Every breath he took now felt like a struggle. 

“Don’t!” You seethed when he took a step toward you, Steve was quick to jump to your defence, but you waved him off. 

“Leave.” You could feel your face grow hotter with rage each time you spoke, you didn’t want him here, you wanted him to disappear from the face of the earth. 

“I’m so fucking sorry.” That was all that left his lips, his eyes were glinting with sadness, and his bottom lip trembled with guilt. 

“You have the nerve… You have the fucking nerve.” You chuckled dryly, tongue rolling inside your cheek in anger. 

“Please... Let me just explain,” He slurred. 

His drunkenness made you more angry.

“I don’t want you to!” You hissed.  

“I told you, I’m fucking done, Munson.” You spoke calmly, tears were threatening to spill, but you held your ground. 

“One fucking minute, I swear—” You heaved a sigh, and another angry chuckle escaped from your throat as you looked at Steve, as if to tell him to kick him out, signaling for help. 

“Alright,” Steve muttered. “She doesn’t wanna talk, Munson.” He spoke calmly as he held Eddie’s arm, trying to drag him out. Eddie’s protests fell deaf on your ear as you plopped yourself on the bed again, crying into Steve’s sheets as Robin played with your hair to reassure you. 

1 MONTH LATER:

Thirty fucking days.

Eddie was going to lose his mind. 

Blocked from everywhere, and you avoided him like the plague.

He knew he deserved to be shut out; he knew he didn’t deserve you. But even crumbs of information from you would have eased him.

Steve and Robin had been useless, except for today. Except for that cryptic message Robin sent him about you being at the party today. And he praised his lucky stars for that.

Until he made it to the party.

Until he finally saw you.

With Mr. Jock pinning you against the wall as you giggled at his unfunny jokes.

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Don’t make a scene, Eddie. Don’t fucking make a scene—

His lips pressed together, jaw quick to clench as he couldn’t help the way he almost sprinted toward you. He didn’t know if it was out of pure jealousy, or the fact that he had missed you so goddamn much that he couldn’t stray away from you anymore. 

“Hi, honey.” Eddie said sarcastically and chirpily, jealousy dripped from his tone, and he couldn’t help the intense gaze he had on the asshole. 

You froze in your place as soon as you recognized the voice. What the fuck was he doing? 

Standing between the two of you, “Who’s this?” Eddie spat, his hand aggressively pointing toward him. 

You rolled your eyes before you turned to him. “Don’t,” You warned, your brows shooting up and a fiery flash apparent in your eyes. 

“Who are you?” He narrowed his eyes at Eddie, and as if Eddie had been waiting for him to provoke him further, he gave a smug smirk. Body turning to face the asshole.

You panicked, and the ever-so apparent tension in the air grew thicker “No one.” You replied quickly, avoiding Eddie’s lingering gaze. 

“Really? You’re gonna play that card, princess?” He gave you a dry chuckle, jealousy gnawed at his insides. 

You squeezed your eyes shut to save yourself from embarrassment, but he wasn’t going to stop until this jerk wasn’t at your side. 

“That’s not what you were saying the last time I saw you—” You were quick to cut him off with a warning gaze, your eyes widening. 

“Eddie… This—this is Ethan.” You said through gritted teeth. 

Eddie mocked a realization face, and you wanted to punch that smirk off of his stupid smug face. “Oh…” He laughed all-knowingly.

“That Ethan? The jock?” You narrowed your eyes, annoyance setting over your face, and you couldn’t handle the heat growing in your cheeks. 

This asshole. 

“I’m sorry, man.” He chuckled, giving Ethan a harsh slap on the shoulder, a slap that wasn’t friendly in the slightest bit—and you were sure now that the tension in the space the three of you shared could be cut through with a knife.

You cleared your throat to speak up, but Ethan did it before you. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

This was the provocation Eddie needed, and you knew it; you saw that mischievous glint glimmer in his eyes. “Oh, just that she was telling me all about how fucking horrible you—”

You interrupted Eddie with a nervous giggle. “Sooo sorry! He’s just a bit drunk!” You gave Ethan a panicked smile. 

“I’ll see you around!” You called out, walking off while dragging Eddie as far away from him as possible with a harsh grip on his arm. 

You probably didn’t know what you were getting yourself into when you dragged him toward the closest empty room. 

“What the fuck?!?” You yelled into his face. 

He ignored your distress. “What are you doing with him?”

“None of your business.” You hissed.

“It is my business if you get with Mr Jock again.”

“I’m not getting with—” You lowered your voice mid-sentence, annoyance taking over. 

“What part of ‘I don’t want to fucking see you ever again’ don’t you understand?” You let out through gritted teeth, your face heating from anger. 

“Did you know…” He said, completely ignoring you, and you looked at him with the same angry expression, getting tired of his antics.

“When you get angry like that, a line crinkles on your forehead, and those sweet lips pout into a frown? You look so fuckin’ cute like that.” He murmured, leaning against the wall you trapped him into.

You let out an exasperated sigh, eyes rolling into the back of your head. “What the fuck is your problem?” You asked, brows furrowing. 

“What the hell do you want from me?” 

“You? I mean, eventually, I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep with you every night.” He smirked.

Fucking jerk.

You chuckled with an audible scoff. "Is this some kind of a joke?" You muttered under your breath, voice laced with irritation.

“You are so fucking irritating.” You spat, eyes narrowing. 

“Just… just—Leave me alone.” Your voice lowered, your face was coming closer to his, and all Eddie could think about was how nice it was to have you this close to him again, to feel your warmth again.

You could see it, the emotions his gaze held, but you didn’t want to fall for his antics again, so you turned quickly to leave.

“Please.” His pleading and his hold on your arm were what made you stop in your tracks. The way his voice cracked, you could hear the desperation. If only you didn’t care about him this fucking much…

“Please—just, hear me out.” He was almost begging, and you knew you should be running, you knew you shouldn’t care, not even to spit the venom inside of you that had been building since that night.

But you can’t help it. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You asked, words coming out in a sharp and biting tone as your anger escalated. 

“After what you said to me...” You looked at him with a piercing stare, your eyes practically emitting flashes of irritation.

“Do you have any fucking idea how much I can’t even stomach being around you?” Your nostrils flared with every breath you took. 

“In fact, I hate you.” You spat.

“You hate me?” He asked, inching closer toward you. 

“Yes!” You snapped. 

“Then show me.” He challenged. 

“W—what?” You stuttered, your confidence dissipating in a second as the room felt so fucking small when he was standing this close to you. 

Your guard was so thinly veiled that one fucking word from him was enough to shatter it.

And you knew, with one or two more pushes from him, you’d give in. You’d give in, regardless; you had missed him more than you would ever let him know. 

And you shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t.

“Take it out on me.” He whispered, gaze intentionally fixated on your lips. 

“You hate me, fine! One last time. Get me out of your system.” He’s so close to your face that when he leans in to whisper in your ear, you can feel his hot breath on your neck. 

He’s intoxicating—his endearing words, the jealousy, and the possessiveness—and you shouldn’t fucking fall for it. 

But it feels different this time; something is so fucking different about him that it’s throwing you off. The way his pretty lips frame the words is convincing. 

Making you believe that this would be the last time, making you believe that you could come clean off him if you had him just one more fucking time. 

You don’t say anything when you give in, your gaze lingering on his lips.

His eyes are quick to trace your face, admiring all of your features in awe, regret filling every vein in his body, knowing that this would be the last time. 

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he says roughly. He doesn’t let you respond, lets the petty comments die down your throat when he kisses you. 

Oh, Jesus, Fucking Christ. 

Your heart was pounding against your ribcage. There was something so bittersweet about the way he kissed you, knowing it was going to be the last. He twirled his tongue with yours, so needy and so fucking promising. 

Eddie knew you better than the back of his hand, so when you started whimpering against his lips, your knees giving out, he knew you didn’t want to waste any time. 

He guided you toward the bed, gentle as he had never been before. The two of you were slow to undress each other, savoring every fucking moment. 

He let you lead everything, going only at your pace and making sure everything was up to your desires, purely catering to you. 

You could sense it, see the difference in how intimate this was, compared to others where it was just senselessly fucking, this was passionate, and it was killing the two of you. 

Rather than just pushing into it, he kept his gaze on you, admiring the way your chest rose up and down as his calloused hands slid further down your body, nipples hardening when his hands stopped to ghost over your thighs. 

His other hand rested on your breasts, and he didn’t hesitate to latch his tongue on it, sucking while his other fingers toyed with your entrance. 

You mewled; you weren’t going to hold back. “Moremoremore.” 

But he didn’t move an inch.

That greedy bastard. 

“More,” You pleaded louder this time, growing impatient. 

Eddie looked at you with such hunger in his eyes that it had your core throbbing. “I’m gonna give you every fucking thing you need, honey.” He promised. 

“But I need… this. I need this memory of you engraved into my brain, forever.” He groaned, giving all of his attention to every part of your body. 

You were quick to nod, quick to oblige him, especially when he made you feel this fucking good. 

But you couldn’t help it, you needed him. Especially when he was everywhere, hands gliding all over your body, making you whimper with just his touch. 

And the way you looked at him was so fucking tempting that he was almost going to explode, you were pleading with your gaze, telling him to take you… fully. To make you his, one last fucking time. 

He could recognize the weight your gaze held, almost as if he understood your train of thought, he pressed his thumb further into your clit, circling around it as your core clenched on nothing. 

“Please,” You begged. 

“Such an impatient, baby,” He muttered into your skin, pushing past your folds as he earned a low groan from you.

“Missed those sweet noises,” He hummed, doing everything in his power to not pound into you right away, the way your cunt was gushing for him, the way you pleaded, Eddie was sure he’d burst if he had to wait more. 

With a tender touch, he tucked your hair back. “You have no clue how fuckin’ insane you make me.” He pressed a sloppy kiss, his hands were still working their way through your folds. 

“Each time I’m around you… it’s like I lose all my fuckin’ senses.” He slurred into your ear, his cock was straining his boxers, and you looked so fucking perfect beneath him, looking all fucked when he had barely touched. 

But you ignored it. Ignored every one of his words, you didn’t need his sappy shit; you didn’t need another reason to stay. 

You just needed to feel good. 

“Please, fuck, baby, please,” You whimpered softly, your nails digging harshly into his back, making his cock twitch more and more. 

Baby. 

He doesn’t even remember the last time you called him that, and it shouldn’t bring a stupid, childish grin to his face, but it does. 

He’s ready to put everything behind him, start over, and do whatever you say. 

But he’s sure you will never let him. 

“I need you, Eds.” You murmured, eyes gazing into his; a mixture of tenderness and longing overtaking your features, speaking to him without uttering a single word.

That was all it took for him to free his hard cock from his boxers, his pink-tip burning with desire as it faced you, beads of pre-cum dripping from it as you smeared it all over, giving it a few pumps before you placed it into your entrance. 

The low groans that escaped Eddie’s lips were so fucking loud, filling the room, and you loved it. You loved the strained sounds he made with one touch from you. 

He didn’t hesitate to push himself deep inside of you without a warning, the space now being filled with both of your contented groans. 

“Holy fuck,” He breathed, head tilted back as he grinned at the sight in front of him.

You with your mouth hung open, murmuring his name as you took his cock like the good fucking girl that you were.  

“Takin’ me so well, angel,” He praised, “Baby, so fuckin’ tight, mhmm.” He placed sloppy kisses between your jaw and the line of your neck, grunting as he pounded his cock in and out of you with a speed that had your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

You were lost in him now, lost in the pure passion and affection Eddie provided you. You never felt this fucking good; you never felt this fucking close to him, breathing heavily as you struggled to keep your eyes open. 

Everything was so fucking intense that you could barely breathe.  

“Look at how well your sweet cunt is takin’ me in.” Eddie moaned, watching the way his cock disappeared into you, nuzzling him with your warmth. 

“Fuckfuckfuck. S’fuckin’ warm, honey.” He muttered the deeper he pushed into you, and your walls were quick to clench around his throbbing cock.

You arched your back into him as you rocked your hips toward him.  

You wanted him deeper and deeper, faster and faster, his every moment was euphoric, and you needed him, more and more. 

He was making you greedy. 

God, you wanted to hate him so fucking bad. 

He groaned at your impatience, relished in the way you grunted your hips more into his cock, he chuckled smugly. “Greedy baby,” He muttered. 

You ignored his taunting while you begged for more. 

“Shut up,” You murmured, teasing him back.

And it was a huge mistake.

He cursed as he pulled out of you, and you whined at the emptiness, “Shit, shit, ‘m sorry” You whispered, but he ignored you, continuing his teasing while all you could do was thrash beneath him. 

“Pleasepleaseplease,” You begged, causing him to smirk down at you. 

And even though your pleas were heavenly, Eddie was in no mood to stray away from you, he needed to be inside of you. 

He needed to feel your walls hugging his cock, he needed to be as close to you as he possibly could. 

“I would never say no to you, doll.” He mocked, rocking his hips into you with such force that the whimper that slipped past your lips was sinful. 

“All fuckin’ mine, yea?” He whimpered needily, and you nodded without hesitation, even though you both knew that wasn’t true. 

You shuddered underneath him; he was filling you to the brim, and you cherished every fucking second of it. 

“Eddie…” You barely let out a breath; the pleasure and sensation of each of his movements overwhelmed you. 

He cooed, “S’stuffed with my cock that you can barely speak, doll?” He asked mockingly. 

You nodded without hesitation, eyes squeezed shut. “I—Fuck…” Your head was dizzy, incoherent babbles were the only thing that escaped your lips, and Eddie knew, he knew you were close by the way your legs trembled. 

“Fuck… honey—I know.” He purred cockily, his hips pushing further into you with a glorious thrust. “I feel the same, baby.” He groaned when you clenched around him again.  

“My perfect girl.” He muttered as he continued his pace, his cock rocking into you further and faster—as if it were possible—earning low pleads from you in return.

“I never—I never thought being with someone could ever feel this way,” He whispered into your ear. 

Don’t let him get to you; don’t fucking let his words get to you.

But fuck—does everything with him feel so fucking good. 

“But, shit, you’re so different…” He muttered, his pace continuing as he grunted between his sentences. 

“You’re so fucking different.” You avoided his gaze, the emotion it held was too fucking much for you to handle.  

You tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the way you felt the hot tears streaming down your cheeks. Your emotions were a mess. 

It felt good, and he felt good; his words, his fucking cock inside of you, everything felt so fucking good. It was the temporary fix you needed. 

“Don’t do this to me, Munson.” You barely let out, he could feel your thighs trembling. 

“I…I never felt this way before… Jesus—Fuck.” The rocking motion of his hips became rougher each time he spoke; you were clenching around him, getting tighter and tighter, driving the both of you into insane heights of pleasure.

“I think I lo—” You snapped from your hazy state of pleasure; each of his words was like a stab at your fresh wound, the one he fucking created. 

“Don’t,” You warned him sternly, interrupting before he could get another vowel out.

"Don’t fucking finish that sentence. Don’t do that with me.”

“I know you. It's not working on me." You whispered.

“But—” He pleaded, and you interrupted again.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, don’t ruin this.” The words were harsh as they left your lips.

“Don’t say things to make me doubt this, to make it harder for me to leave.” There was such a vulnerability in your voice that he couldn't help but want to protest. 

He wanted to tell you that it was all fucking true. That he was so fucking in love with you that he was sure he lost his mind. 

Yet, you don’t let him speak, you don’t let his words fool you, not again. 

You kiss him in a dizzyingly rough motion just to shut him up. 

His skin slaps against yours, rough, as if he’s trying to take his frustrations out, and you let him, you let him pound into you senselessly. You let his cock drive into you further, not stopping until he’s sure he’s stuffed you to the brim. 

“Eddie, fuck!” You mumble into his lips; your brows are drawn together, and he knows—he knows you are close. 

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He cooed, and you nodded quickly. “Cum for me, honey.” He encouraged, not stopping his pace as he roughly thrusted his cock inside of your throbbing cunt one last time. 

A gush of wetness pulsed out of you when you released around him, the strength of your orgasm was enough to choke you out, and white-hot flashes blurred your vision as he watched you in awe. 

He wasn’t far behind, as the strained moans that escaped your throat drove him closer to the edge. 

“Shitshit—s’fuckin’ perfect.” He grunted. The way your cunt convulsed around him was too much for him to handle. He slammed inside of you one last time.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck—” He growled against your hair as he came, his cock shrivelled inside your cunt, pulsing as he coated your walls with his warm cum, fucking his release inside of you.

The two of you stayed like that for a hot minute, bodies tangled to each other, both minds fuzzy as both of you tried to catch your breath. 

You could feel tears brimming your eyes again when the realization hit you. 

This was the last time. 

And you needed to leave. 

As soon as possible.

And that’s exactly what he’s afraid of, afraid of you leaving, forever. 

You are quick to shake your thoughts off, quickly getting up to get dressed. 

“Don’t,” He mutters, it’s barely audible. 

You turn to him with a quizzed look. “Please… Just, please don’t leave.” He begs, it’s the last sight you expect, and the last thing you expect to hear. 

And it should feel so fucking satisfying, to know he’s wrapped around your finger, to know he is practically pleading for you. But it doesn’t, it feels so fucking sentimental, and you hate it. 

“You knew.” You muttered, putting on the clothes you so carelessly discarded. 

“You wanted this to be the last time.” You whispered, not daring to look at him.

“I lied,” He was quick to reply. 

“Eddie…” You heaved a sigh.

“Please, just fucking listen to me for once.” He breathed; you’re sure you’ve never heard him this determined. 

“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m the biggest coward in the whole fucking universe, okay?” You turn around to meet his gaze, it’s pitiful and heavy with guilt, and you wish you never cared about him.

You wish you could just throw your feelings away and leave him behind. 

“I don’t deserve you!” He exclaimed, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Stop… just stop with the bullshit of making me pity you—” You replied angrily.

But he doesn’t let you finish. 

“Look, Y/N. I want that with you, I want something real with you… Shit—more than anything.” 

You chuckled, baffled. “Too fucking late for that.” You replied coldly. 

“I—it doesn’t have to be!” He spoke, grasping at straws to get you to give him one more chance.

Just one more fucking chance.

“What good will it do?” You whispered.

“You know what I realized?” You asked, putting on your shirt as Eddie gazed at you with need. 

“We’re both so beyond fucked up that...” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“Us—” You pointed toward the two of you. “We would never work!” You spat.

“I’m the last fucking girl for a relationship, and you’re the last fucking guy for a relationship.” 

“That’s why it would be perfect!” He tried to reason, but you shook your head.

“No—no, it wouldn’t! We’d eat each other alive!” You exclaimed, but Eddie refused. 

“So?” He shrugged.

“So? We’d just fight all the time! You really want a relationship that hard?”

“When did you become so fucking afraid to take a risk? A little challenge?” You narrowed your eyes.

He read you like a fucking book. You knew you weren’t afraid of a challenge.

You were afraid of getting hurt.

You were afraid of being more attached to him than you already were.

You were afraid of him running out once you decided to fully commit.

You knew it wasn’t all him; you were messed up in your own fucking way. Avoiding everything that felt too real was your specialty, because you’d rather be aching now than in the near future when he broke your heart again.

If you didn’t leave now, you never could.

“Goodbye, Eddie.” You muttered, shutting out whatever he was saying as you closed the door. 

Eddie sat on the bed, alone with himself, and his mind that was spinning with thoughts and his own voice telling him that he fucked up. 

He chucked his jacket to the ground as he rubbed his hands along his face in frustration. 

He had truly done it this time, he had lost you.

Forever.

But did he have to? 

Did he need to be a fucking coward again? 

Why would he give up this fucking fast when he didn’t tell you how he even felt? 

Eddie got up in a hurry, sprinting toward the party like a man possessed, spinning around each girl he saw in the hopes that it might be you. 

“Have you seen, Y/N?” He asked, and the blonde girl pointed toward the porch. 

He muttered a quick ‘Thanks’ as he slipped through the bodies in his way as fast as he could, making his way onto the porch with anticipation, eyes glistening the second he spotted you. 

You were sat on the cold wooden floor with your face buried into your hands, quiet sniffling was all Eddie heard. And he felt it again—that familiar ache—the same ache he felt the past month, when he couldn’t see you, talk to you, or know how you were doing. It returned instantly when he heard your sobs. 

“Hey… hey…” He murmured, causing you to jump as you turned to him with swollen eyes and your mascara was quick to run down your cheeks. 

“You’re gonna get cold, honey. Let’s get you up, yea?” He had never been this fucking caring, nor did he ever pine after you this much; he always held back, no matter what storms brewed in his mind. 

He extended his arm for you to take, but you glared at him coldly. “What are you doing here, Eddie?” 

“I need to talk to you.” He said. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You muttered, “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to—” Your rant was interrupted by his pleas.

“Please—just don’t say anything and just listen, please.” You sighed. 

“Please, Y/N.” 

“Fine.” You crossed your arms against your chest, your eyes still glistening with tears.

He inched closer to you. “These thirty fucking days I’ve spent away from you… It’s been torture, Y/N.” He shook his head. 

“You—you have no fucking idea the things I did... The things I’ve tried to forget about us... Forget you.” His voice almost cracked, distress overtaking his features. He was sincere, so fucking honest that it was starting to make you afraid.

You couldn’t decide if it was him or the chilly breeze that sent shivers down your spine. “And no matter what I did, I still found myself itching for you. A part of me that I couldn’t fucking kill craved for you… to see you, to call you.” 

You’d never seen him like this before.

Eddie was always guarded, all fun and teasing. Always turning serious shit into jokes.

And this was real. The only thing you wanted from him, the only thing you begged that he made a mockery of. The hypocrisy was appalling to you.

You opened your mouth, your brows had already furrowed, and he could tell you were going to curse him out, so he didn’t let you.

“I know… I’m a fucking hypocrite, I get it.” He whispered, and your eyes almost widened.

How the fuck did he read you that easily?

“And I’m so fucking sorry for everything I said.” He ran his hands through his curls, almost tugging them out for being an idiot.

“I was afraid, okay?” He heaved a sigh, hand ruffling through his messy hair.

You didn’t want to ask him what he was afraid of because you knew—because you were afraid of the same thing.

Your lips trembled with need; no words dared to come out of them. 

“I was so fucking scared because I did the first thing we promised not to do.” He squeezed his eyes shut. You knew how bad he was with his feelings; you couldn’t even believe that he had made it this far.

“I think—No, I know.” He shook his head.

“I really fell for you.” He was ripping open your chest now, holding your heart out. Telling you he felt the same. A gasping, quiet noise escaped your lips; this was all you wanted—needed.

You’ve been this close to Eddie countless times before; hell, he probably fucked you at a much closer distance countless times before, but this was intimate. 

“And I realized... I could lose everything in this fucked up world.” He took a deep breath, his face so close to yours that you could sense it. Sense every emotion radiating from his body—the vulnerability, the pain. 

Each beat of your heart was like a drumroll against your chest; everything you longed for was there, a breath away from you.

“But not you. Oh god, not you.” His brows knitted together in a painful expression, and his voice was barely audible as he looked at you with a gaze that held you as the center of his universe.

You wanted to kiss him; you wanted his soft lips to graze against yours; you wanted to sob into him, melt into him, and become complete with him. 

“W—what are you saying?” You asked, and you knew the answer, but you needed that confirmation, you needed those three words to leave his lips.

“I love you.” He said without hesitation, and you couldn’t help the childish grin that formed on your face, mirroring Eddie’s. 

“I—You do?” You stuttered.

“Yeah… I love you so fucking much that it’s embarrassing, really.” He chuckled, still not able to comprehend your expressions; you looked… frozen. 

“You, uh, you don’t have to say it back.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, all of this was so fucking new to him. What was he supposed to do now? Kiss you? No, no, no... He couldn’t do that because you didn’t say it back. 

“I’m sorry, shit, uhm—I honestly have no fucking clue what I’m doing,” He stuttered. 

You gave him a warm smile. “I’d say you are doing well,” You whispered, scrunching your nose. 

“Yeah?” He returned the smile—that goddamn smile that brought out his dimples. 

God, you wanted to kiss him. 

“You’re making it so hard for me to leave.” You muttered, turning around to take a breath as you shook your head.

Eddie sighed, hands quick to find yours as he turned you to face him. “Then don’t leave. Stay.”

His past words didn’t matter, and how your relationship started didn’t matter. None of it mattered now because Eddie was ready, ready to give himself fully to you. And he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered.

It was now or never. You heaved a sigh of breath as you looked into his eyes; you couldn’t help yourself. How could you not utter those words back to him?

“Jesus…When I told Robin that I was ready to fall in love again, I didn’t mean with you.”

You barely gave him any time to process your words as you smashed your lips with his.

It was as if passion was dripping from every move; it felt so fucking different to have this many emotions carrying your actions.

Before you could further it, taste him fully, Eddie pulled back slightly. You whined at the loss of contact. “Wait, wait, wait.” The words slipped past his lips quickly, eyes widening at your words.

“You—you? You are…?” He asked, baffled. He didn’t expect you to say it back.

He expected you to hate him forever. The thought of someone loving him was unfamiliar to him, especially to the extent that you did. Healing his fears without realizing it.

Your lips quirked into a smile. Why was he so idiotically cute?

You nodded, affirming him.

“Say it, please,” He pleaded, hands gentle as they cupped your cheeks. The look he gave you was mellow and your face tilted as you melted into his tender touch.

“I love you,” You muttered, eyes glinting with all the unspoken feelings you’ve been containing.

“Again.” A grin overtook his lips, and his widened eyes didn’t falter, shock and pure bliss apparent was written all over his face.

“Please,” He implored, brows softening each time you gave him that pretty smile.

“Soooo needy.” You narrowed your eyes jokingly.

“I love you,” You repeated, your gaze lingering on his honey-glazed eyes.

“Aren’t you a fucking dream?” You giggled, the dimples on his left cheek were pretty, he was so pretty.

“I love you more, honey.” He whispered, smashing his soft lips against yours.

And you invite him in to patch up the wounds he made, to give you the world, to love you fully; knowing that the blind faith transcended into something real, something worth worshiping.

[ticktokrobotsnot]

Hurricane

This is part 1. You can read part 2 here.

Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader 

Summary: The upcoming bachelor party that Carmen has to cater causes some tension between him and y/n. 

Word Count: 9.5k 

warning: alcohol, mentions of throwing up out of nervousness but no one actually does, or even comes close, fighting, smoking

--

Three hundred thousand dollars, what kind of fucking moron takes out three hundred thousand dollars just to blow his brains out and let his younger brother foot the bill. What kind of cosmic douche does that to another person? Y/n would never say something like that out loud but she certainly was thinking it after Carmen told her about the debts that he apparently owes on top of the bills he had yet to pay. In fact, Carmen was barely scraping by, he cut his pay check till all he had was enough to cover rent and the bare bones necessities. Rather than cut anyone’s pay, or cheaping out on ingredients, he sacrificed almost everything for this restaurant, for his brother. And what did his brother leave him? A three hundred thousand dollar bill. Once again, what a dick. 

“It’s not-” Carmen started. “It’s fixable.”

Y/n didn’t say anything, she continued to scrub the stop top and kept her face neutral when in reality her blood was boiling. It’s not her debt and she is completely free to run away before this ship sinks but she couldn’t help but stay. She had convinced herself that the reason she stayed was because this horrible and completely fucked restaurant was like a train wreak, you can't help but stand and watch it crash and burn. Definitely not because of any other personal reasons. 

“We just have to keep our heads down and get through the year and we can get some money off of our tab.” 

More silence.

They both knew it was a pipe dream, no matter what they did at the restaurant, they could only make an insignificant dent towards the impending debt. Y/n didn’t want to be negative when Carmen was doing his best to not crumble under the pressure so she looked up with a small smile. She wondered if the smile translated as an optimistic smile or a pity smile.

Carmen sighed, leaned against the wall and rubbed his face with his palms in an effort to wipe away some tension. Looks like it translated as a pity smile. 

“Tell me something good, y/n.”  Carmen mumbled through his hands.

It was like the words were lost in her mouth. What could she possibly say? What collection of words makes this shitty situation any better? The answer is none, sometimes words mean nothing. No amount of consoling or baseless optimism could make this situation look good. If you can’t make a shitty situation look good then you should at least make a shitty solution look good. 

“At least you have those bachelor parties, you can knock off a few grand.” Y/n offered.

“Yeah,” Carmen agreed half-heartedly. Looks like she couldn’t make the shitty solution look good either. Y/n gave herself one more attempt to lighten the mood before she sewed her mouth shut, crawled into a hole and died. 

“And let's not forget that your “loan shark” is your uncle and he won’t smash your kneecaps.” Y/n jokingly muttered, “Probably?”

Y/n heard Carmen exhale through his nose. Y/n lives to speak and live another day. After testing the waters for the past few months, y/n realized that in order to get Carmen to stop going into crisis mode she had to either talk about a solution or completely distract him. 

“What's the payment situation going to be like? …What is the interest?”

“No …no interest, just a clean 300k.”

“That's fair, adding interest on a loan like that would be like throwing shit in a septic tank. When is the bachelor party?”

“Uncle Jimmy is coming by tomorrow to give the details for that stupid fucking party.”

One quality that has persisted through out the years was y/n ability to not know when to shut the fuck up. The trait was helpful when filling the silence between the both of them. Carmen liked to listen more than talk, he didn't have anything to talk about except depressing shit. So when the air was filled with anxiety and tension y/n did what she did best, make a damn fool of herself.

“You think there's going to be strippers?”

Carmen looked up from his hands and gave out a laugh out of shock and it sounded like music to y/n ears. She wished she could record it, he really did have a nice smile and she wished he smiled more. Good god, he looked so… so…

“There will be at least strippers.” Carmen snickered while hiding his smirk behind his hands. It's like he knew she was waiting for it and was depriving her on purpose. This was a good learning moment for y/n though, shock humor lands well with Carmen. 

Y/n moved on to scrubbing the floor because she wasn’t able to look Carmen in the eyes after asking, “Have you ever been to a strip club?” 

She didn’t even have to look up to know what kind of look she was getting. She heard a bewildered laugh and looked up and was met with  an amazing view. His head was thrown back and his hand was running through his hair. 

For a brief moment, y/n tried to convince herself that all of the embarrassment she put herself through wasn’t worth it but after stealing a few glimpses of him she could confidently say it most definitely was.

“No I haven’t. You?” He then straightened his head and grabbed a towel and started scrubbing too.

“Of course, I've been. I used to work in one, you know?” Carmen’s head shot up.

“Yeah, but I needed a career change.”

“You worked in one? As a… dancer?” Carmen asked not quite being able to tell if this was a joke or not.

“You call strippers “dancers”? What are you, 90? No, I was not a “dancer.” I was a bartender.”

“Hmm” Carmen pondered before adding, “I knew you couldn't be one, I saw you slip on air this morning.” 

“My lack of coordination aside,” y/n rolled her eyes jokingly, “I spent a lot of time seeing the routines and stuff and I could never, I can barely run a mile let alone swing around on a pole. Those strippers are stronger and braver than the Marines.” 

“I have a cousin in the Marines,” Carmen added while scrubbing a particularly tough stain.

“Tell him that he’s a little bitch.”

Carmen stopped scrubbing and gwaffed into his fist. On the outside she looked normal but inside she was scratching the skin off her face in joy. She really wanted to seal the deal.

“Would you ever be a stripper?”

3-0 favoring y/n because Carmen looked up at her and laughed, and not a reserved one. A full one with an open mouth and red face. 

Holy fuck… what the fuck was she doing? She could be home right now rewatching a nature documentary to unwind.  She should be asleep right now. It's 12am and here she is sitting with her boss on the floor counting how many times she can make him feel good. And the worst part?  She was enjoying herself. 

“I don’t think I would make a good one.” He said as he moved closer to y/n and scrubbed at another scuff mark. 

He would make a great one, y/n thought. He has huge arms, a quiet but powerful persona, a sculpted face, and beautiful eyes. Y/n had to resist the impulse to say that she would throw all her money at him right this second. 

“It's your eyes.” Y/n humorously pondered, “They’re too intense, am I going to get a lap dance or am I going to get into a long and meaningful relationship?” 

Carmen's gaze lifted towards y/n, and she wrestled the urge to lock her gaze with his mesmerizing cerulean eyes. She wanted to etch into her memory the way the yellowing lights danced upon his irises, as they transitioned shades, but the flutters in her stomach were making her woozy. 

Y/n was a coward, so unsurprisingly she looked away, but not before stupidly adding, “You could add a blindfold to your act, I bet that would make the girls go wild.” 

What in the flying fuck was she talking about, y/n screamed in her head. Y/n had some nerve calling The Beef a train wreck when she was watching herself crash and burn and not being able to stop herself. It felt like an out of body experience, like she was watching someone else fuck up her life. 

Carmen looked like he was thinking about something and y/n wondered if she would have the courage to pick up her last check after she got her ass fired. 

“Judging by the amount of shit I have to deal with in this stupid fucking place, being a stripper is starting to look more and more…” Carmen stared at y/n for a split moment,  “tempting.” 

Y/n was glad that he had inadvertently stopped her from saying something really stupid but she needed a quiet place all to herself so she could squeal like a teenage girl.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, y/n was starting to notice how close they were and in order to stop herself from getting a sued for sexual harassment she forced herself to call it a night, and that was a tough call to make. Y/n smiled at Carmen before softly mummering, “Carmy, you’ve got a big day tomorrow why don’t we get you home?”

Carmen's posture straightened, and a slight haze seemed to veil his eyes. Rising to his feet, he extended a hand towards y/n. In the instant their palms met, a surge of thoughts flooded y/n's mind, realizing how deeply she would miss this touch once they released. The fleeting moment barely allowed her to relish the sensation, leaving her with only a passing recollection of his hand—warm, calloused, and undeniably strong.

After grabbing their stuff from the lockers, y/n glanced at her phone that showed 12:14am. The walk home was going to be a real bitch. Carmen did one last walk through before leaving. Y/n could have left after she got her stuff but she stayed for a bit longer. She leaned against the windows of The Beef watching Carmen leave the restaurant and lock the door. He didn't look a bit surprised at her still waiting for him, he knew she would always be there waiting. It was a tradition, they would close up and he would walk y/n to her car. He would wait till y/n car was completely out of sight before he climbed into his car and drove to his place. 

“Where did you park your car?” Carmen asked while shuffling through his bag to find his own car keys. 

“My car is at the shop, I'm going to walk home.” 

“You're going to walk home after dark? It's like 1 in the morning?”

“It's 12:30 and it's not that big of a deal, and if I get tired I'll just uber the rest of the way home.”

“That's how people get kidnapped, y/n”

“Don't worry, even if I do get kidnapped, I'll still miraculously make it to work on time tomorrow, and I'll have an epic tale to share for years to come." Y/n joked. "Why don’t I walk you to your car for a change? Where did you park?"

Carmen hesitated, not because he didn't want to offer a ride but because he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. It's just a ride home, it's not like ridesharing amongst coworkers is something new. 

“Let me drive you home. This is not a great neighborhood.”

“My place is opposite from your place, I'm not going to hold you hostage. Go home, you have a big day tomorrow.” Y/n pulled up Google maps to see how long the walk would take, 35 minutes wasn't too bad. 

“It's fine, I wasn't going to sleep right away anyways.”

Y/n shot a disapproving look. "Do you honestly think I was born yesterday? I mean, come on. You're planning to stay up late after a long day at work today and another one tomorrow?"

“Let me do this for you…Please.”

Y/n was contemplating beating his ass with one of the 2x4s lying around, how fucking dare he look at her like that when she is already holding her self back from jumping his bones. It was maddening. In that moment, the streetlight cast an ethereal glow upon his hair, transforming it into strands of pure gold. She couldn't deny the captivating effect it had on her. And that infuriating expression he wore, as if he had the power to make her surrender to his every whim, was driving her wild. If he had asked for her kidney with that look, she might have found herself on her knees, desperately clawing at her own abdomen to fulfill his request.

“Ok, thank you so much Carmen. You really are…kind.” Y/n tried not to look at his eye because she knew that she would feel another flutter and now she had an audience watch her throw up from overstimulation. 

“It’s the least I can do.” Carmen didn’t have the courage to thank her for making him feel better about the restaurant’s financial situation so this was the best he could do. 

They both walked to Carmen’s car in silence. Y/n had an unstoppable itch to fill the silence with some asinine conversation but she resisted. She knew as soon as she got home she would scream into her pillow for bringing up strippers and blindfolds to her boss, and she didn’t want to add more things to cringe about. They could be 85 and she would still pucker her face when remembering this night.  

They finally walked up to Carmen’s car, and Carmen opened y/n’s door for her. Y/n had to keep from fainting right then and there, she was a grown woman and Carmen was doing the bare minimum by helping out an employee and here she was fighting a blush. He walked over to the driver side and started the car. 

“You good?” 

“Sorry.” Y/n hands were shaking from the nerves.

“I can't find the seat belt connector thing, it's too dark." 

Carmen wordlessly grabbed the seatbelt from the base and trailed down the belt, softly grazing his knuckle on her collarbone before gently taking the buckle from y/n's hands and guiding it to the right place. 

Y/n mumbled a soft thanks. They both looked away for a second, both of them completely floored by Carmen’s boldness. Y/n couldn’t take this anymore she needed to get out of here before she became a stuttering mess, “Let me look up the directions, I’m geographically blind so I need Google to tell me where to go. I've been working here for months and I still need someone to tell me to get home.” Carmen pushed his tongue against his cheek to stifle another laugh. 

“Geographical blind”, who says that? That's literally the lamest fucking thing you could possibly say. Y/n was going to go home and watch a few meditation videos in the hope that she learns how to shut the fuck up. 

The ride back was nice and quiet. Y/n was too tired to talk and she was starting to feel guilty for making Carmen drive her home, he should be even more tired than her. They finally pulled over to y/n’s place, and she sat in the car for a few seconds to ground herself before she looked over to Carmen who was looking straight through the windshield. 

“Thanks again Carmen.” 

“Will your car be back tomorrow?” 

“The day after.” 

“I’ll drop you off tomorrow then.”

“That's too much Carmen, You aren’t obligated to do this. I’ll just leave a little earlier so I can catch a train.” Carmen looked like he was not satisfied with that response. Y/n didn’t want to leave early because she liked her time alone with Carmen but she couldn’t keep imposing. 

“I’ll drop you off, it's not a big deal.” He left no room for negotiation. 

Y/n smiled at him before grabbing her purse. Carmen got out of the car and walked around to y/n’s side to open her door. Y/n got out with as much grace as a toddler, she really needed to go to bed. 

“Carmen, you really are too… you're just too…” Y/n struggled to find a good enough word before mindlessly blurting out, “Good.” 

Y/n couldn’t see his face because the streetlamp was too far to illuminate his face so she didn’t know if she made him uncomfortable. 

“Thanks again, I’ll see you tomorrow Carm.” Y/n softly mumbled before walking into her building and while waiting for the elevator she saw that Carmen was still leaning against the car door. She gave him a small smile not seeing if she got one back. The elevator ride up was filled with y/n jumping, dry heaving, and overall panic induced mayhem. The second hand embarrassment was too much. The elevator dinged and she went into her place and looked out the window to really burn the memory into her brain. This is the exact date and location where Carmen dropped her off. 

She was surprised to see that he was still there. Everyone at work knew what apartment building she lived in because she invited them over for dinner recently, so it wasn’t a surprise that he knew the general area on where to look for her apartment. 

She flicked on the lights and picked up her phone to dial him and watched as his silhouette fumble around to  find his phone. 

Carmen spoke first, “I just wanted to make sure you…”

“I got home safe.” Y/n opened her window before giving him a wave from five stories. 

Y/n continued, “Go home, chef, I want to see you bright and early tomorrow.” She saw a blur of what she deciphered as a wave. 

“Night y/n”

And with that y/n closed her window and Carmen drove off. It was 1 in the morning so she didn’t jump or scream into her pillow like she intended to because her neighbors would kill her. So she settled for a shower and eventually passed out. 

Y/n was not a morning person my all means and told Carmen as an off handed comment a few months back. He offered her later hours so she didn’t need to come in super early for prep but she could stay to clean up. She got ready and got to the restaurant at around 11:30 am, where she found Carmen, Richie and an older man seated on a table at the far corner of the restaurant.

 Before she could slip away to make herself busy in the kitchen, she was called over by the older gentlemen with a finger curl. Y/n turned around assuming that he was indicating someone else only to find that no one else was there but her. She looked over again and pointed at herself and Richie rolled his eyes before kicking the chair next to him to indicate that she was to sit. Y/n took off her headphones and sat across from the old guy and in between the cousins. Carmen looked up and wordlessly gave her a polite greeting. 

If this was money problems why is this old fart calling me over? 

Awkward silence.

“Good morning.” Y/n started.

“Morning, did Carmen fill you in?” Carmen’s “uncle” asked.

"I'd be delighted to put a name to your face. I'm y/n," she said with a warm smile.

“I'm Cicero…” Y/n pretended to look a bit puzzled, “Uncle Jimmy, yes, yes, Carmen told me you were coming today”

No one filled the silence so y/n stepped in. 

“As much as I love the mystery, I do have work to do…so…why am I here?” 

Cicero spoke up, “Carmy’s got that catering gig at that bachelor party on Friday and we were wondering if you would like to help.”

“Catering to a bunch of drunks on Friday night, seems like exhilarating” Y/n said sarcastically.  “I'll be there. I’ve got to the kitchen, I shouldn’t leave Tina alone with my prep-” 

“Look, I'm going to be honest with you…” Cicero continued, Y/n glanced sideways at both Richie and Carmen but they looked as confused as she did. 

“Did you work out front a week ago?” Cicero asked.

“I covered for Richie on Tuesday?”

“One of the guys, the groom, saw you and thought you…looked…” It looked like he was embarrassed to finish what he wanted to say. “They want you to be there.” Cicero finished.

“This is what you were holding off on, we’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes in fucking silence so you could solicit a fucking chef?” Richie said in confusion before laughing and leaning back to glance at Carmen on the far right who was visibly livid, which caused him to laugh even more obnoxiously. 

“Be there and do what?” Y/n pondered, a flicker of concern crossing her mind. She couldn't help but wonder if this was how human trafficking stories began. She wasn’t really paying attention to either Carmen or Richie, but she could feel that it was getting tense on her right, where Carmen was seated.

“I'm just going to rip off the bandaid. They want you there to serve drinks.” Y/n couldn’t hide the look of bewilderment and relief. 

“Jesus, you were making it seem like I was going to have to sleep with them…Yes I can serve drinks. I’ll be there” Y/n got up from her chair and Cicero added.

“Do you know what a Hurricane Shot is, y/n?” 

Y/n immediately sat right back down, she let out a laugh and she was in decent company because Richie was also dying right next to her.

“They want that…” Cicero finished awkwardly. 

Carmen looked up after trying to burn a hole into his table. “What the fuc-” Carmen fumed. 

“What’s the pay like?” Y/n asked.

“Without you 5k, with 10k”. That made Richie stop laughing. 

“Let me think about it.” 

Y/n got up and walked out back. She stole a quick glance at Carmen who was sharing some choice words with his “uncle.” Y/n thought that she might as well get back to work. She was going to serve drinks no matter what but she had a feeling that she would get some resistance. 

The rest of the shift was relatively slow and Carmen was in his office for most of the day. Around 8, it looked like there weren't going to be any more customers so Carmen finally got out of his cave and let everyone leave early. He stood with his back straight and arms crossed in front of his office, his eyes narrowed at y/n. Y/n thought she could not deal with the brunt of this confrontation by herself, so she looked at Richie trying to nonverbally communicate for him to stay. Luckily, Richie understood and stayed and it was just the three of them alone at the restaurant. 

Carmen went inside and it was implied that the both of them should follow. 

“I'm going to serve at that party.” Y/n whispered.

“Yeah, no shit you are.” Richie agreed while whispering a lot less quietly. 

“It's 10 grand.” Y/n reasoned

“Who says no to 10 fucking grand?” Richie exclaimed.

They both walked over to the office. Y/n stood against the wall, it felt like she was being sent to the principal's office. 

The silence was killing y/n so she started, “It's just one day.”

“Only a few hours” Richie offered

“Which is basically just a few minutes.” Y/n reasoned. 

“Which is really just a few seconds.” Richie added.

More silence. 

“It's a lot of money cousin, and y/n is up for it.”

“Yeah, 10k in a few hours. I mean it would be totally crazy to say no.” Y/n remarked.

“You would be fucking crazy to say no.” 

“Yeah, Carmen, it would be pure idiocy to say no.” Y/n chimed in.

Carmen rubbed his temple and then looked up. “That is not happening. You aren’t doing this.” 

“It's 10k, Carmen, and all I have to do is pour some drinks. It's like money is just falling on our laps, we have to take advantage of this golden opportunity.” Y/n added, “God helps those who help themselves.” 

“You're religious?” Richie questioned

“No, but he’s Italian and they're religious, right? I thought it might help my case.” Y/n whispered.

“I can fucking hear the both of you.” Carmen was annoyed and y/n realized she didn’t really know how to convince him to let her help him. 

“What specific issue do you have with me bartending at this party?” If she got to the root of the problem she could find a solution that helped ease his worries. 

Carmen brooded in his corner. People didn’t give Richie enough credit, he was pretty good at reading a room and he knew that it would be better if he left Carmen to y/n. 

“I got something tonight.” Richie spewed out before turning around to get the hell out of there. As he was about to leave he mouthed You got this? Y/n gave him a subtle thumbs up.

They both stood in silence hearing the sounds of Richie walking around the kitchen to grab his keys and get his charger in the front, and eventually the door chimed meaning that it was now just Carmen and y/n. 

“Tell me what the issue is. Do you have safety concerns?” 

“That's one of many concerns.” Carmen knew he was being difficult but he couldn’t let this happen. 

“I'm just pouring drinks, I'm not going to be doing anything super dangerous.” 

“You are going to be pouring drinks for coked out dickheads. How is that not dangerous?”

“It’s nothing I haven’t done before. Besides, your uncle told me that I'm going to be giving hurricane shots, if anything I'm the dangerous one.”

Carmen looked up and furrowed his eyebrows. “Do I even want to know what that is?”

“You don’t know what it is?” Y/n had to resist snickering. “So basically, you would take a shot, then I would splash water on you and slap you…Do you want to see a video?” Y/n ushered Carmen to the only chair in the office.

Carmen didn’t know why he was humoring this and he didn’t want to admit it but he was wondering what the appeal of getting slapped was. If it's just slapping a few guys then maybe it wasn’t too bad…

Y/n pulled up a video and any bit of him that could have been convinced to let this happen shriveled up and died. It was a video of a woman in a very revealing dress sitting on a table splashing and slapping horny middled aged fucks. Absolutely not.  

Y/n looked up from the video and saw that she made it worse. Carmen was sitting silently in his worn out chair, not even looking at the video just staring at the floor. 

Carmen felt a hand on his shoulder and felt y/n come closer, he could feel her breath on his neck and it was making it hard to breathe. Softly, y/n whispered, “Carmen, you are being perfectly reasonable and very respectful but this is a once in a lifetime situation.” 

A soft pause passed while y/n was trying to formulate the right words.

“You do so much for me so let me take care of you, Carmy.” Y/n rarely called him that and the name slid down his spine causing him to shiver. 

Without even having time to think about what just came out his mouth, he mumbled a soft “yeah”. Carmen looked just as shocked as y/n. Neither of them were expecting that, y/n was expecting to have to postpone convincing him till tomorrow. 

Now the next hurdle was making sure that Carmen didn’t change his mind. “Why don’t you stay with me during the party? That way if anything happens you'll be there. Will you be my designated bodyguard for the night, Carmen?" Y/n playfully feigned a pout, allowing Carmen to remain silent, sensing that he might need some space to process the request

She slipped out before taking a deep breath, Jesus that was stressful. People killed each other for 10k and he was just going to throw it away. Y/n wasn’t going to let that happen, even if he said no she would have snuck into that party and got Carmen his 10k. 

She surveyed the kitchen, it was spotless. There really wasn’t much to do because the other chefs had done most of it but she had a feeling that if she left Carman alone, he would change his mind. So, she did what she did every single day, scrub these stupid floors.  

A few minutes had passed and y/n was wondering about what she should wear to an event like that? A small dress was a necessity but she only had a small black one from her college years. Would it even fit, it's been years since she last put it on? She needed to find her old pair of black pumps from college too, she knew they were deep in her closet. And while she scrubbed and planned her outfit for Friday, Carmen came out of his office and joined her wordlessly, taking the towel from y/n’s hands and scrubbing for her. 

He finally looked up, “I will be by your side the entire time. You can’t go anywhere unless I can see you-”

“What if I have to use the bathroom?” 

“No.” 

“No?”

“What if some sleazy fucker is waiting in the bathroom?”

“I doubt it. But ok, I'll hold it.”

“You can't cross the counter.” Y/n wasn’t going to anyways. 

“And I have to drive you home.” That stupefied y/n. 

“What? Why?” 

”What if one of those limp dicked pervs follows you home?”

“Carmen, you’re thinking too much. You don’t need to worry about me.” 

“I’m not letting you do this unless-” 

“Alright Carmen. We will do this your way.” Y/n gave him a smile to show that they were good. 

Carmen quickly glanced down and continued scrubbing the floor. The rest of the night was spent cleaning the floor and eventually neither of them could come up with any other excuses to stay together. There is only so much time you can spend scrubbing and organizing an already spotless kitchen.

They both went back to the lockers, grabbed their stuff, did a final walk through, and locked up. Carmen drove her home, y/n said goodbye through the phone and waved out the window. Y/n knew that this routine couldn’t last because she would pick up her car tomorrow morning but she was debating slashing a few tires just to make this last a bit longer. 

The next day y/n came in at 11:30 and was pulled aside by Richie. 

“Is it handled?”

“It's a bartending gig not an assassination. And yes.”

“That bastard said yes?” Shocked didn’t really cover what Richie felt.

Y/n shrugged her shoulders, “I know you wanna crack a few jokes but he is tethering and I don't want him to-”

“No wise cracks.”

“Also, the crew thinks I'm catering, could you keep the bartending underwraps.”

“Sure thing princess.”

“Do not-”

They were cut off by Fak and y/n took that as her sign to leave. Other than that, the day was exactly the same. The only other difference was that at the end of the night she had to walk to her car with Carmen. 

“You can back out, you know. This debt is my brother's… and now it's mine. You shouldn't get involved in this shit show.”

“Do you feel like you're taking advantage of me?” Carmen didn’t say anything. 

“How about you give me the day off tomorrow and we'll call it even. Paid leave.” 

Carmen smirked, “That's not really even.” 

“I'm giving you less than 24 hours notice and don’t even have a good reason to miss work tomorrow, I'm being a bad employee and you're going to let me get away with it. It seems plenty even to me.” They had ended their night relatively early, it was only 11pm and y/n wanted a few more minutes with Carmen, so she took a few wrong turns. Was that a selfish thing to do?  Yes. But did it feel right? Also, yes. 

They finally “found" her car. Carmen opened the door for her after she unlocked it. Y/n pulled out her parking spot and then drove off. But she didn’t forget to wave out the window and in the rear view window she could see that he was waving back. Y/n drove for a few minutes before double parking in an open street to rest her forehead on the steering wheel. She rolled up her windows and squealed. It felt good to be able to do that after holding it in for the last few days. She composed herself and drove home. 

The next morning was brutal because she had to completely gut her closet to find that black dress and heels. After a few hours she found them in the same box that held her cap and gown. She laid them on her bed and then went to get a haircut. On her way back she saw a tattoo parlor and walked in and asked if they had any temporary tattoos lying around. They found one wedged between some binders, it was a large rose. 

The night was quickly approaching and she had to leave soon. She had finished getting ready and right as she was about to leave she remembered the rose tattoo. Y/n ran to the skin, and peeled her dress up leaving her thigh exposed and placed the rose tattoo there. She grabbed a long black jacket and then she called an uber to take her to The Beef. The jacket covered up her cleavage but her legs were mostly bare and she regretted not wearing a pair of sweats for the commute. 

The restaurant was closed slightly early but it still was pitch black when she got there. Richie and Carmen were finishing up moving chairs and tables. Y/n walked in and the chime alerted them that y/n had arrived. 

“Hey guys. When does the party start? Am I too early?”

Carmen’s face betrayed nothing so she couldn’t really tell what he was thinking. Richie smirked, “The band of dickheads are coming in about 20 minutes.” 

“Can I see what the booze situation looks like?” She got a short tour of what the food and drinks situation was going to look like. She hadn’t taken off her jacket because it was still a bit chilly.

“Carmen, can you turn up the heat?” Carmen walked over to the thermostat in his office to adjust it to y/n comfort. With only 5 minutes before the party was supposed to start, y/n thought she might as well take the jacket off.

“I feel a bit out of place, I'm the only one dressed up.” 

Richie gwaffed,” Don’t worry you’ll be in good company with the strippers. Honestly, who's going to know the difference.” Y/n raised a cup of iced water to chuck at Richie.

“Hey, save that for our esteemed guests.” Richie said as he walked as far as possible to avoid getting splashed. 

Just as y/n was about to tell Riche to fuck off, Carmen walked in. He took one look at y/n and spent the next few seconds trying to generate a coherent thought. The first wave of guests came in and Carmen lost his chance to say something but it's not like he could come up with anything marginally comprehensible anyways. In a few hours the party was in full swing. Richie was sitting in the kitchen but the thumping music, the smell of booze, the reverberating sound of obnoxious drunk laughter was giving him a migraine so he went outside for an hours long smoke break, he wondered how Carmen was doing.

Carmen was not doing fine, he was doing horrible. The lights, music, and dancing were making him nauseous. But the thing that really tested his patience was the guys ogling at you. Y/n wasn’t really paying attention to any of the guys but they were getting more and more drunk. 

The room was lit with purple and blue lights and it was difficult to tell what was happening, and even though he knew it was wrong that didn’t stop Carmen from taking a few peeks at y/n back side throughout the night. If the back was rendering him speechless he could only imagine what the front looked like. The thought that these piss pots were seeing her would send him into a blind rage but the fact that each one of them would get hit in the face made it a bit more digestible. 

A guy came up to y/n, and Carmen walked right up to them to know why this fuckhead was talking to her. The groom had asked for the first hurricane shot. Y/n sent him away for a few minutes to give her time to set up. She turned to Carmen and gave him a mischievous smirk. 

“Payback time.” 

Even though they were in a very crowded room, y/n smirk made him forget it. It was a small and private gesture and no one else would be privy to see it. It was just for Carmen and no one else. That made him feel a bit better. 

Y/n and Carmen filled up cups with very cold water just to make it hurt even more. Carmen started to put ice in the water and when y/n saw what he was doing she threw her head back to laugh. The laugh made his heart flutter but the feeling of her hand grasping him to ground herself sent a shiver down his back and it wasn't because both their hands were ice cold now. 

The room was so loud that they needed to come close to the other’s ear just to hear each other.

“You gotta put a bit more ice in this one, Carmen ”

“Who’s getting this special order?” Carmen smirked, he was having fun. 

“The groom of course. Why are you asking a stranger you meet once to slap you across the face when you have a fiancée at home? Also, what kind of sick fuck gets drunk, high, and a hand job from a stripper the week before his wedding? That level of dickbaggary deserves a face full of welts.” Carmen covers his mouth to hide his smirk. 

“It's so tacky and…and…yuck. Hard pass.” 

Carmen took that information and stored it in his vault; no drinking, drugs, or girls of any kind during his future bachelor party. He wasn’t going to do the last two anyways, but he never wanted y/n to feel “yuck” about him so he would sacrifice the alcohol for his own bachelor party. 

“Have you seen the women here? Very pretty.” Y/n teased.

Y/n didn’t really know why she even brought it up, She spent the entire night facing the crowd and got an eye full of many tits and she knows Carmen’s witnessing the same scene.  Being surrounded by a sea of stunning and jaw dropping women had triggered a sense of insecurity within her. Yet, she reminded herself that those women were there to captivate with their beauty, while her role was to serve food and drinks. And to be fair, some of her customers have dropped their jaws after eating her food, balancing the scales of admiration. As such, any lingering immaturity or jealousy dissipated into the air.

The source of unease wasn't the presence of other women, but rather Carmen himself.  Y/n had previously worked at a strip club and hadn't experienced this level of jealousy before. But now, with Carmen by her side, she found herself questioning whether he was comparing her to the other women at the party. Did she even register on his radar amidst the crowd? While their relationship remained strictly that of coworkers and friends, she appreciated that Carmen hadn't abandoned her. However, she couldn't help but feel conflicted about his presence, as she didn't want him to witness the spectacle of beautiful women giving drunk idiots lap dances.

Carmen looked up at her while his head was still bent down filling cups with ice, “Uhh, I haven’t really taken a look.” 

Y/n doubted that but she didn’t want to protest, so she hid her insecurity behind jokes. 

“You should, Mrs. Berzatto could be in this crowd.” 

“I can guarantee you that they are not.” Carmen pushed. Y/n chuckled and Carmen could swear he saw her eyes glow.

“Hey, today has probably been really stressful. You can let go for a bit. You know, blow off some steam. There are plenty of women who would love to give you a lap dance. You know that pretty blond has been eyeing you since she came in.” Y/n pointed in some general direction with a straw but Carmen didn’t even look up from the water cups. 

Carmen looked into y/n’s eyes and was trying to decipher this puzzle she had put in front of him. She was telling him to go and talk to other women and even though her tone, face, and behavior was exactly the same as before, he couldn't shake off a faint undercurrent of tension emanating from her

“I like it here.”

“So you like to watch.” Y/n smirked while turning around to fill a styrofoam cup with sprite from the soda dispenser to cool herself. She was trying to be cool but it was coming off as vaguely threatening, she needed to get her shit together. 

Carmen turned around so he was facing her direction then placed his elbows on the counter and looked up at her with those killer eyes, “Yeah I do.”

“Mr. Berzatto, have you been drinking you’ve gotten, dare I say, bold?”

Carmen raised his eyebrows in a joking manner and y/n could swear that she saw stars glisten in his irises. God, was he handsome or what? 

“I think it's time to get this show on the road.” Y/n turned around to walk around the counter so she could hop on top, she couldn't do it from behind the counter because it was filled with liquor and cups and she would knock everything over. Just as y/n was going to walk out the counter, a muscular arm blocked her from leaving. She furrowed her eyebrows, and looked up at his eyes. 

“You promised, you wouldn’t.”

“I can't get to the counter from here…why don’t you walk me over there, so that no one bothers me. Earn your keep bodyguard” Y/n softened her eyes to convince Carmen, and to her surprise he let out a sigh before removing his arm and leading her to the other side of the counter glaring at anyone who even thought about looking at y/n. Y/n’s dress was so tight and short that she couldn’t really get up without flashing everyone. She looked up at Carmen and told him about the situation she was in and how she needed a chair or something. 

Carmen brought his face close to y/n so she could clearly hear, “Can I touch you?”

Holy…mother…of…fuck. Y/n’s brain flat lines and she stumbles out a quick and breathy “yes”. 

Carmen put his hands on her waist and y/n linked her hands behind his neck and just as y/n was about to close the gap, she let out a yelp as she was hoisted onto the counter. She is starstruck, her heart is beating fast and she is resisting the urge to kiss him from up here. She had to remind herself that he was just being helpful. 

"Tattoo?"

Y/n was a mess and she needed a few seconds to understand what he was saying, "It's fake, so that if anyone takes any pictures I can pretend it's not me." It took all of y/n's will power to connect these words together. It was getting hard to think.

Carmen took one more look at y/n stradling the counter before reaching over the counter to grab the same straw y/n used to point at some other women, and lighty dragged it across her knee. 

“Your past the counter, chef” 

Y/n was in a daze, her knee felt like it was on fire and that was just from a straw. She wordlessly got up on her knees and kneeled on the counter. 

Carmen walked right back to behind the counter and passed her a heavy cup.

“For our guest of honor.” Carmen grinned. He was making her lose her breath,  y/n was going to pass out and fall off this counter. 

Y/n took the cup of water and a shot of tequila from Carmen. Their pinkies brushed each other and sent an electric shock up her arm. 

“Make it hurt.” 

Y/n gleamed. She turned towards the crowd and shouted out a short introduction before calling over the groom. She passed him the shot which he downed in record time, y/n shot a quick glance at Carmen, before splashing the water right on his face and just and he slightly relaxed his face from the original impact of the icy water, y/n gave him a loud and painful slap. The sound echoed through the restaurant, and it became silent for a brief second before cheers erupted from the crowd. The noise makes Richie peek his head inside to see what the commotion was about. The groom's face was already bright red from the alcohol and the ice and somehow the right side of his cheek looks like someone painted it scarlet, y/n gave a thumbs up to Carmen, who to her surprise returned one back. A line began to form and while y/n was making everyone pay for being annoying dicks, Carmen called over Richie. 

“Its fucking boiling in here” Carmen commented, “Can you go into my office and turn the thermostat down to like 60-65 and grab my jacket.” Richie looked like he wanted to make some smart comment but the sound of another slap echoing derailed his train of thought.  Richie took one look at y/n, and Carmen wanted to curse him out and punch him across the face, but he refrained. “Richie, the fucking thermostat.”

Richie complained but Carmen wasn’t paying attention and so he left and turned the thermostat down and threw the jacket over the counter.

“When is this shit show supposed to end?” Richie asked while judging the guests in the most unsubtle way possible. 

“Two more hours.” Carmen said while looking at y/n. Richie rolled his eyes and left and Carmen was starting to feel the cold air coming from the air vent on top of them. Y/n was starting to feel chilly too and looked over at Carmen who was already handing her a nice wool jacket, his wool jacket. She slipped it on and Carmen felt like he could finally breathe. He was beating himself for not coming up with something like this sooner. The stupid shots were finished and y/n was ready to come down from the counter. 

“My ass and thighs are numb.” Y/n said while rubbing them. Just as she looked up towards the crowd she saw that Carmen was right next to her ready to help her come down. Y/n was feeling bold, almost invincible from spending the last 30 minutes slapping men. 

“Would you like a shot?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. “You’ve seen a million guys take it, aren’t you curious?” 

Carmen was struggling to come up with something to say, he didn’t even know how to react. “I have to drive you home.” His stare was making y/n feel like she was burning from the inside. 

“A shot of water?” y/n offered. 

Carmen thought to himself, what would he regret more? Taking the shot or not taking it?

He extended his hand towards the water pitcher behind the counter to pour himself a shot of water. Y/n grabbed one of the ice cups and scooped the ice with her left hand and dumped half of the remaining water on the already flooded floor. She wanted to avoid making this as painful as possible. Y/n took off the jacket and set it down on the counter next to her. She tucked her right hand in between her thighs to keep them warm so it would sting a lot less. Carmen took one long look at where her right hand was settled and then locked onto her eyes, 

“Hit me with your best shot, chef.” 

Carmen downed the shot before locking eyes with y/n. Y/n splashed the water on his face and gave him a solid slap. Not as hard as the others were getting but not so soft that she would be accused of chickening out. Carmen’s face whipped to the left before coming back to his previous position. 

“How was that, chef?” 

It must have been the lights or the fatigue but y/n could have sworn that he glanced at her lips. Carmen’s hands circle around y/n waist to bring her down. He carried her a few feet away from where they previously were so that y/n wouldn’t step on the puddle, set her down and walked her back behind the counter. 

“I can understand the appeal.” Carmen murmured. Y/n looked at him incredulously before laughing in shock. 

Y/n was about to tease him a bit before she heard shouting from the crowd. “Do you want to step out? I think I need a break” 

Carmen welcomed a break. He handed y/n his jacket and ushered her outside where Richie was smoking. They had forgotten he was still there.

“It's nauseating in there.” Y/n exhaled. 

Carmen pulled out a cigarette in an effort to calm down. They were no longer in a party where they could pretend they had no outside obligations. He had pushed the bounds of their relationship and he wondered if the lights, music, alcohol, and seclusion together was only affecting him. He closed his eyes and inhaled. Y/n crouched down because her feet were killing her. She could feel the blisters forming but she was going to be a trooper. All she wanted to do was lay down. Carmen crouched down to match her height and raised his eyebrows to ask what was wrong. 

“I need to go to bed.” 

“20 minutes left. You can wait in the car and get some rest. I can cover for you.” 

“I need to see this place after it’s cleared out. I think I forgot what it looked like before we had it packed with drunk chodes.” That earned her a snicker from both Carmen and Richie. 

A sense of tranquil silence enveloped them, providing y/n with a much-needed opportunity to gather her thoughts. She realized that she had to prevent herself from getting lost in the overwhelming depth of Carmen's presence. It was becoming clear that she had two choices: either distance herself from him entirely or bridge the gap between them, instead of remaining in their current state of avoidance, where everything seemed to be ignored.

Just as she was about to turn over to Carmen to ask him if he was free tomorrow night, a loud thump was heard inside the restaurant followed by a crash. Next came the screaming. Y/n and Carmen stood up and looked inside the window to see what got Richie to rush inside.

“Shit” Carmen exclaimed before running inside to stop the groomsmen from fighting. A wave of women ran out. Y/n didn’t go inside till the noise died down, she knew she would just get in the way. She pushed the door open and saw some guy laying on the ground with a bloody head. She scrambled to find a towel from the counter and then applied pressure on his head. Carmen had already called 911 and Richie was just staring with his eyes wide and hand on his head. 

The next few hours were a blur. The ambulance picked up the guy that was knocked out. The police came and took Richie, and everyone else was either taken by police for questioning or they left for the cops to get there. 

Y/n and Carmen were the only ones left standing on the pavement with little to no energy left. It felt like their bones were the only things holding them upright. Y/n didn’t have the energy to fill the empty space. So the trick to shutting her mouth was being tired, she could save herself from a lifetime of embarrassment by working herself to the bone so she wouldn’t have the energy to make a fool of herself. 

She started snickering which slowly devolved to full laughter, she held on to Carmen’s arm to steady herself. Y/n from 5 hours ago would never have touched Carmen under any circumstances unless he initiated it first but she was losing it. She was starting to feel light, like this wasn’t real. Like she didn’t see Richie bash some fucker’s skull in. Or that she spent the last few hours flirting with her boss just for nothing to come from it. Carmen could only just watch. 

“Let's get you home.” Carmen slowly ushered her towards his car. 

Y/n laughter died down. “I can’t go home, not with Richie in jail.” 

“You need some sleep” 

“And you don’t? Where are you going after this? Visiting Richie?” Carmen didn’t reply or look up at her.

Y/n went back inside, grabbed her black jacket and ran as fast as her shitty heels and blisters would let her. 

"I'm ready," y/n exclaimed with determination, taking confident strides towards Carmen's car. Carmen watched, momentarily transfixed and still processing the whirlwind of the past few hours. Y/n had laughed heartily as a coping mechanism, but inside, Carmen felt a deep sense of anguish, fearing the possibility of losing yet another loved one. He yearned to join in the laughter, knowing he couldn't do it without y/n by his side. Shaking off his thoughts, he quickly jogged over to where y/n stood, matching her pace as they proceeded towards the car together.

The car ride was silent, as both of them were fighting the urge to sleep. They got to the police station and y/n was so out of it she barely understood what groomsman status was and what would happen to Richie when the police officer explained it to her and Carmen. They were led to a seating area where they had to wait. Carmen threw his body on the bench and y/n followed suit. It was chilly and Carmen was wearing a shirt, so she slowly slipped off the jacket to hand it over. She felt firm pressure on her shoulders preventing her from bringing the jacket down.

“Keep it on, it's cold here” Carmen muttered. 

“I have a jacket” 

“It's too light.” Carmen’s eyes were drooping. Y/n sat back on the bench and tried to sleep sitting down but it wasn’t working. Carmen’s eyes were already closed so she shifted on the bench and laid her head on his lap. 

Once Carmen had confirmed she was fully asleep, he draped her thin black jacket over her legs and floated into unconsciousness. 

Carmen was shaken awake and woke up in a jolt. He eye’s meet Richie’s and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

“Aggravated Assault.” 

Carmen let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Carmen wanted to get up but he saw that y/n was laying on his lap. He gently slipped out from under her and carried her on his back to his car. He did his very best to ignore everytime that she dug her face deeper into his neck but he was still beet red when he gently placed her in the backseat and put her seatbelt on. 

Richie watched but didn’t have any motivation to say anything but a simple, “You got yourself a girlfriend, Carmy?”

“We’ll see when she wakes up.” 

--

Part 2

[heyhihellosworld]

𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭

Lando Norris x reader

Word count: 5.3k

Summary: An innocent round of golf with your friend's friends turns into a wirlwind of emotions and feelings

Warnings: Golf written by a no golf-fan, smut, fluff

Notes: Landoo again... I was going to write it about Charles but then it was golf, and Alex so it became a Lando one again but he has kinda grown on me, not gonna lie. As always it's gone a bit long...

"Okay, that was just bad y/n" Lily teased, bumping her hip with yours as she went past to gather her ball. "Shut up Lily!" you pouted following her example and picking up the ball that was laid close to the hole but not in it. Typically.

"It's not my fault you haven't trained enough sweetie" she mocked, her expression playful and teasing as you just huffed. "How the fuck have you had so much time training huh? You've been traveling with Alex for months now" you asked, baffled how she could accuse you for not training enough.

"Well we have played together, and even though Alex is not big competition it's still practice, plus some of his friends are slightly better"

"Well I've tried to train as much as possible but you know I have another work" you hummed, slightly envying her lifestyle. "I know y/n and I'm only teasing you, It's just fun to make you envious"

"Yeah it's so fun to stand in the café when you send me pictures of you and Alex on track or when you are swimming, who swims in November?"

Lily giggled as you walked side by side, dragging your carts behind you. Decided it was more fun to walk together than driving a car.

"It's not November cold there, it's hotter than summer so of course we will swim and why not tease you with it?"

"Because it's mean?" you suggested but Lily only laughed, shrugging her shoulders.

"I think it's fine, plus I invite you to come with sometimes"

"I know, but-"

"You work, I understand that" she smiled gently, knowing you needed the money to have a place to live and study.

"Anywaaays" she drawled out, her eyes telling you what she was gonna ask you and you shook your head immideately. "No Lily, don't even suggest it"

"Why not! They are all coming here next week for break, well all that lives in Monaco of course and Alex already invited me for a game, just... join. Once. It could be a nice break from work"

Your head shook through all of her words, telling her no no NO

But she didn't listened, Lily never did. She was stubborn like that.

"Once"

"No, I don't want to meet these people"

"Why not y/n, why not. Also you've already met them!"

"Because-" "Because what?" she interupted making you groan "Because. It would be weird!" you exclaimed, making her giggle

"Is this because of Lando?"

Her eyes gleamed with teasing and laughter. Her tried serious face failing miserably.

"No"

"Oh it is, it is" she giggled, poking you in the side, completely ignoring your deathglare as she continued to giggle

"It's not about him, it just... it would be really awkvard"

"Because of Lando?" "Because of Lando and all the others"

"I think it's more because of a certain brit who slid into your Dm's"

"Well okay that will be awkvard as hell, especially since I didn't even answer" Lily laughed, a light laugh that made you smile even though you didn't want to, this was a seruous thing.

"I think you're fine sweetie" "No I am not going"

-

The chatter continued through the whole round, your play slowly picking up, after all it had been long since you last played a whole round like this.

The one thing that didn't get better was Lily's nagging and by the time you stood at the parking lot, waiting for Alex to pick you up for lunch you were going insane.

"Alex tell your girlfriend to shut up"

Alex's eyes went wide as he looked between you, Lily giggling at him, poking her tongue out at you "he would never"

"You are too cute"

"Wha-what?" Alex stammered out, mouth slightly open as he looked between you.

"She has been nagging me the whole time about going with you to play golf"

Alex's eyes lit up and suddenly you regretted telling him that,

fuck

"That's a great idea! It would be so much fun! They love you!"

You let out a groan, glaring at Lily who clapped her hands together in excitment. You felt yourself bend, giving in to their excitment.

"Fine! Fuck you both because why are you always agreeing with each other but fine I will go on ONE golf round with you and if it's awkvard I will decide what we do for the rest of the year"

Both Alex and Lily giggled together over your words and tone, they had won this time.

"Why are you nerovus?" Lily smirked as you climbed into her car, already pouting.

"Stop it already, I will walk back in and lock myself with my tv" you huffed not very threathingly but Lily seemed to take your little threat seriously because she stopped the teasing immideately.

"Well you look cute at least" she smiled, patting your leg reasuringly "And I promise it will be fun, they are all cool to be around even if you don't know them too well which by the way is incredible seeming as your best friend is dating a driver"

You smiled at her, shrugging "It just never interested me that much, it's cool sure but I don't really think the men are the interesting part of it"

"I think you can change your mind, they are all nice enough"

"I have met some!" you defended and she sniggered "Yeah right, George because that went so well?"

"Stop it, he will not be there tody will he?"

By her face you knew he would before she hesitantly admitted it, "Maybe he will" she winced and you groaned

"Nooo, Lily! This was awkvard enough with Lando! Now George as well"

"It's fine, he didn't seem to hate you after it" "Lily, do you not remember?! I literally said he looked like a Ken and turned him down when he asked me on a date, that is awkvard as hell!"

"Well it was ages ago, plus he has a girlfriend now, it's fine!" Lily waved you off and you couldn't do anything but to pout about it.

-

"Where is the girls?" Alex questioned as he walked out towards the small group on the green grass, clubs and carts ready, smiles on their faces and caps on top of their heads. It was a sunny day, the warmth burning their bare arms and legs as they waited.

"I haven't seen Lily" George shrugged, it wasn't especially often both Alex and Lily joined the small golf cirlce on the grid but when they did it was always loud complaints because Lily always won.

"Did I not tell you that y/n is joining as well?"

"No bro, what the fuck" Lando murmured, his hand combing through his curls before putting the cap on again. "Fuck it's gonna be awkvard"

"Why would it be awkard?"

"Uh-I I kinda slid into her dms telling her she was pretty and all but she never responded"

An echo of laughter spilled from the group but Lando wasn't amused in the slightest "Welcome to the club man, I think soon all of us has been rejected by her some time in life" "Really?"

"She told me I looked like Ken and I qoute 'no thank you' when I asked her on a date and Carlos here tried to charm her with Spanish but she physically nudged him away and even Charles didn't manage to get her number, but to his defence she was with her ex then"

"So I'm not the only one at least?" Lando hummed, feeling a bit less awkvard at the revealation.

"For sure not" Alex smiled, patting his shoulder as he spotted the girls finally, smiling gently at your nervous look.

-

It went better than expected, nothing too awkvard and nothing horrendous happening even though it's awkvard enough to meet with the three guys you rejected in some ways but they were nice enough to brush it off and have a good time with you and Lily, after all the attempts from both Carlos and George had been a long time ago. What was a dread became a fun afternoon of mixed great and awful swings and laughter.

-

"So, the guys says you've rejected half the grid?"

Lando's voice brought you out of your concentration of watching Alex put. His eyes looking gently at yours, his skin crinkling around his eyes as he smiled wide. "Do they now?" you smiled back, shrugging your shoulders

"I wouldn't say I have rejected all of them, more... lack of interest and all of them have given up straight away. But some I did reject directly, sure"

"Like George?"

You couldn't help but giggle "Like George yeah"

"What about me? Was it a direct rejection or lack of interest?"

The question was sincere, serious and it caught you of guard. You had actually never meant to ignore Lando's dm but after you'd opened it it kind off just disapeared in your memory until it seemed too weird to answer it.

"I guess lack of interest"

"So does that mean you will go on a date with me if I show more interest?"

You grinned, teeth showing as you shrugged with a smile

The idea didn't oppose you, you kinda liked how direct he was, straight to the point. He didn't look bad, not at all. He was extremely hot with his bright smile and brown curls dripping into colourful eyes. You pondered it a little, date? It seemed inocent enough but was it?

Your lips pouted in thought as you met his eyes again "If you win the next hole I'll go to dinner with you"

"Really?" Lando smiled so brightly it made you chuckle "Sure" you grinned, winking at him as you walked ahead.

-

He was not bad, you had to give him that but you were better there was no question about it. However you seemed to slack on this hole, bad first hit-mainly because of Lando's distractions- made it one more swing than Lando in total, something the Brit celebrated in earnest.

He was so happy he could start skipping and it made the blow soften a little. You did want to go on a date with him afterall so in a way it didn't feel like a loss.

The whole round went the same, chatting and joking. Observing the Brit every given second, trying to play it off before repeating it.

It was not subtle but you didn't try to be either. He was nice to rest your eyes on, so you did.

When the round came to an end and you all stood at the parking lot, chatting and joking about the just played round Lando pulled you away slightly, smiling small as he combed his hand through his curls.

"Hey, you think I can get your number?"

Your eyes snapped up to his, lips pulling into a sly smirk. "Sure"

"Really?" he asked with suprise

You laughed softly, shrugging "I did agree on a date did I not? It would seem weird to not give you my number" Lando chuckled "Sure"

Despite your reluctance to go in the first place it turned out to be a common thing in the next couple of weeks. You felt yourself growing fond of the guys and spending time with Alex and Lily was always fun.

After Lando's win you had decided on a date weeks forward, why so far away you didn't know but apparently it had something to do with his training schedules and something around the topic. You didn't bother.

Regardless you felt a sear of hapiness everytime you saw his brown curls amongst the group. Usually hearing his gorgous laugh before you laid eyes upon him. But the sear of hapiness was nothing against the rumble of disapointment you felt whenever he wasn't there. Trying to mask the disapointment was hard.

He texted you. Every day, especially the days you didn't see him. It made your heart almost skip a beat whenever his name popped up on the screen, grumbling at yourself for the stupid reaction.

To keep it short your heart did sommersaults at the mention of him and it was stupid because you were still practically strangers.

He looked like a rom-com perfect date. Black dress pants and a dark button up. His curls were styled, not overly much but still enough to not flop around everywhere and he sported a warm, comfortable smile as he waited.

You felt giddy, something you hated but it was inevitable. His face lit up as he saw you striding towards him, eyes glittering in the dim light of the lobby.

"You look gorgous" he smiled, a line you deemed cheesy, something everyone said but it still made your heart skip a beat. Because it was Lando.

"Thank you" you smiled, kissing his cheek softly, loving the way his face flushed at the action, a sudden shyness taking over the usually confident guy.

Lando tried to compose himself as he led you out the door, smiling softly as you jumped into the car.

You had decided for a simple dinner date. Eating at a small comfortable place where you hopefully could be alone to just talk, get to know eachother in private and focus only on you, not the other idiots you called friends.

Lando's restuarant choice didn't disapoint. You had agreed on not going to any fine dining or exclusive super place but a normal cozy place. And he had done well. Booked a private table in a extremely cozy little restuarant. Red velvet sofas with dark wood tables and dim lit candles. It gave a homey feeling and your table seemed to be the furthest away from everyone else's giving you the perfect lone time you could posssibly find in Monaco.

"Wow, I didn't think you would manage this well"

Lando snorted, looking almost offended as you giggled at his face. "What?"

"Well not to bring you down but this is Monaco after all, it's an fine dining country"

Lando tilted his head, that was true and to be completely honest he couldn't take all the credit. He had gotten some, well, a lot of help from Lily and Alex to find the best spot possible for you but you didn't have to know that.

"I'm happy you like it" he said instead, smiling dumbly at you in a way that made you have to smile back.

"I do, it's great" you nodded as he poured up some water in the glass in front of you"

He was so easy to be around, silence never uncomfortable, talk never pushed. It flew naturally like you had known the guy for years. He made you laugh so loudly even the personel seemed to pick up on it, his flattering seemed to make you blush endlessly and his stories made you intruiged.

You loved how easily he was telling you about formula one, how he spoke to you easily about it, not complexing the sport you knew very little about. You loved how he trusted you with more private stories, loving how his eyes turned into hearts as he talked about his family and their support. But what you loved the most was how easy he fell apart under you. One comment and his cheeks turned a deep pink colour, eyes fleeting away from yours as a choked sound made it past his lips with a giggle.

To put it shortly the date was amazing, making you feel the same flutter you had felt every time you had seen his curly head on the golf course or everytime his name had popped up on your phone this last weeks.

It was riddicolous, you knew that but it didn't stop the spiralling feelings and flutter in your tummy.

After a heated discussion about Alex's golfing skills you left the restuarant, sated and full of the warm belly-filling food the place had provided. Lando had blushingly asked you if you wanted to go to his apartment, to 'watch a movie or something' and you had accepted, not caring what that would include or not just not wanting to seperate from him yet.

The walk was short, Lando's laughter filling the air of Monaco and lightning it up as you walked along the darkening streets.

His apartment was nothing short of amazing, not because you had thought differently. He was a formula one driver after all but still. It was a lot bigger than yours, not to bring down your own place which you loved, but this was the next level.

"Wow, this view is fantastic" you mumbled, going straight past him to look at the view of Monaco from his window. He had not put a lot of effort into decorating, something you deemed fine since he barely was here anyway but the space still looked nice. Modern as hell, but nice.

"Wow, just walk right through me why don't you" he muttered sarcastically making you huff out a laugh as you tore your eyes away from the view. "Sorry but this is... remarkable"

"And I am not?"

"Well I can't see the whole of Monaco in you can I?"

"I don't think you have even tried, have you?"

You giggled, poking his chest teasingly as he stood in the open room. His coat and shoes discarded, revealing his great looking button-up once again. "Fuck you look good in this" you hummed, teasing your finger on his first button on his shirt.

"Mhm, is that how it is miss y/n?"

You peeled your eyes off his gorgous shape and looked him in the eyes, the orbs screaming with cockiness and a hidden smirk.

"Been thinking all evening off what's underneath it" you admitted, letting your eyes travel again "I invited you here to watch a movie, but you have such dirty thoughts" he tutted jokingly "Sure" you scoffed, smiling at him

"A movie was what you were thinking"

Lando didn't answer, just gave you a giggly smile you reciprocrated.

His lips met yours in an instant, moving softly and slowly against yours, no hurry just savouring the moment. His lips were soft against yours, following you as you tilted your head slightly.

When you broke apart that was it, no itchy hands on each other no intention to do anything more right now. Both just sated to have shared that. Instead you took a step back. Grinning at the brunette as you walked around the sofa and plopping down in the comfortable furniture. “What’s the movie then?”

Lando smiled, not sitting next to you but leaning over the back of the sofa to get closer to you. “Whatever you want, you choose. Do you want something to drink?”

“Okay, uhm yes please, I take whatever you do” you smiled softly before reaching for the tv remote. Scrolling through the many apps and channels he had to pick a movie.

-

The movie was meh, not interesting enough to take your mind off the guy next to you but not boring enough to stop.

Lando kept on joking with you, straight up teasing you during the movie. Hands moving down your body, not in a overly sexual way but the way he cracked a joke, or a dirty comment made you boil with need and hotness.

It didn't take long until you broke. Shuffling up in the sofa, catching his gaze as you watched him with need in your eyes. His own eyes gleaming with cockiness and success. Watching his eyes were enough, scootching over you straddled his lap, catching him with slight surprise as you pushed your lips against his, needy and rough.

However it didn't take him even a second to respond to the kiss, battling for control, tongues fighting and hands gripping wherever they could reach.

Neediness pooled in your stomach but you kept it in control, not wanting to let him have all the control. "Fuck y/n" he sighed, leaning his head back over the couch as you pulled apart for a moment.

"Bedroom?" he smirked, one eyebrow raising and if you wouldn't want this so bad you would scoff at his expression but it was also Lando, you would not excpect any less from him.

Instead you nodded, letting him lead you to his bedroom which was just as gorgous as his livingroom. Big windows with view over Monaco, a few pictures on the wall and nice furnitures.

However he didn't let you spend a lot of time looking at the decor, instead towering over you, attacking you with his lips.

"I usually don't agree on doing these things on the first date" you hummed against his skin, his smile warming your heart even more. "Well technically I wouldn't count this as a first date because I feel like I know you by now"

You giggled "You are really full of it aren't you?"

His smile was so achingly sweet, made butterflies swarm in your belly and overflow with adoration.

You leaned up, catching his mouth with your again, kissing him slowly and affectionately, hand scratching on his scalp and luring out a soft sound from him which only made your heart beat faster.

Heat bloomed in your stomach, desire to touch him and make him feel good took over your thoughts as you kissed down his jaw, hands gently sliding under his shirt.

His muscles tensed under your cold fingertips, feeling out his sculpted stomach and muscles, gently rubbing over his nipples before trailing down towards his v-line and then back up again.

His mouth had dropped open slightly, eyes following your every move as he breathed hard, small noises tumbling out of him whenever your hands rubbed over his nipples or teased his pant-line, frustration bubbling in the small grunts and huffs as you took your time, feeeling him up, memorizing every part of his skin under your fingers.

When he had had enough he ripped the buttons open in a hurry before tugging it right off his body, throwing it away before he roughly guided your face to his again, wanting, no needing to kiss you.

The kiss was rough, heated and a battle of control. A battle you won as he pulled back and locked eyes with yours. His pretty eyes was glazed over with pure desire, visable in every centimeter of his body. In the way his shoulders tensed, body heaved and eyes glazing over.

You looked as he unbottoned his pants before tugging them off, taking a seat on his bed with an open invation dangling in the air. An invitation you took.

Two short steps and his hands enveloped you, pushing you against his hot body, limbs and breaths entangled as you sat straddled on his lap. His hands ran all over you, ripping your shirt off your body, your skirt bundling up around your hips as they moved against him.

His hot hands settled on your thighs, eyes not seeming able to leave were your panties where showing, sliding against his boxers.

When he met your eyes again you slid off his lap to the floor, loving the way his eyes widened and mouth opened as you settled on your knees, prompting him to sit up better on the edge of the bed.

Hands teasing over his boxers before his patience ran out. Eager fingers pushing yours away to discard the item. You couldn't help but to giggle at him, eyes narrowing him down "Eager much?" "Shut up" he grumbled, visably relived over the freedom he know had.

Your eyes slowly looked him up and down, completely naked in front of you, so easily and comfortable displayed on the bed. Not an ounce of embarrasment or selfconciousness, with all right.

He was gorgous from head to toe, his legs tense placed on the floor, hands gripping the bedsheet, arms flexing his toned muscles, chest heaving, his sculpted body, muscles showing, abs glistening, his face already looking fucked out despite having barely even started. His brown curls were a wirlwind of chaos, eyes looking at you with so much attention and focus, dick standing proudly against his stomach. He looked dreamy. Drool worthy.

When he grunted you realized how long you had been staring at him, clearing your head you stood up only to crawl out of your skirt and brah before dropping to your knees again. Hand immideately reaching for his hard dick.

It was already leeking pre-cum, a result of the teasing you had been keeping up for long now. You jerked him slowly, relishing in the way his eyes fluttered, not knowing where to look, eyes flickering between your newly revealed skin, eyes and to where your hand was currently moving over him.

A groan left Lando's lips as you thumbed his tip, hips jerking to try to savour the feeling but you didn't let him instead leaning forward to lick a bold stripe from base to tip. The sounds he let out was filfthy eyes closing, mouth agape. You could probably cum just looking at him.

"Fuck y/n" he grunted, hips jerking slightly, trying to get your tongue closer to him again and you let him, swirling your tongue over his tip before taking him in your mouth, slowly sinking down until you couldn't anymore.

You set a brutal pace, hand twirling around his base whilst your mouth sloppily worked over his tip, messily running your tongue on the underside of his dick every now and then.

He had lost the little control he had, groaning and moaning without a care, his head thrown back and hips thrusting desperately. You knew he was close without him having to say it and when he started to jerk more promiment you stopped, letting go of his dick with a pronographic pop.

He whined

He fucking whined and you felt like you were on fire. He was so sexy, so fucking sexy and you couldn't let it go. Desperation flowing in your core as you looked up at him, no shields from what you felt.

"Come up here" he whispered, his hand on your cheek guiding you up to his lips, gently flipping you into the matress, his body covering yours. A sudden gentleness taking over the whole sitatuion as he peppered kissed over your body. Moving from face down to your core. Licking over your nipples, gently sucking your skin, licking over your navel, inner thighs. Teasing you just like you had with him, delicate fingers peeling your underwear off.

When his mouth ghosted over your core you jerked, hands finding his curls pulling them like nothing else mattered.

He was skillfull, more so than you had imagined as he ate you out. Tongue moving, fingers holding, lips sucking, murmurs traveling through your body.

You moaned, thighs clenching around his head. The Brit let out a soft chuckle at your reaction, relishing in the way your eyes fluttered and body arched under his tongue but it didn't stop him from diving straight in. Licking and sucking until all you could do was pant.

He didn't let you come, the whimper on your lips disapearing as you bit your lip, hips chasing his mouth, another chuckle. A mocking one.

He didn't have much resolve left, eyes searching yours before positioning himself, gently pushing in as you nodded, too much excitment.

His head in the nape of your neck breathed hard against your collarbone, barely containing the lewd sounds escaping his soft lips, setting a gentle slow pace.

"Ah"

"Fuck baby" he groaned, meeting your hips with his making the friction tenfold. It felt like your head was swimming with emotions, moans you didn't even notice tumbled from your lips, sweet like sugar, filthy as few.

His hands hooked under your legs, drawing you even closer to him, using the hold to go harder, deeper and it felt like you would black out, eyes closing as he pounded into you. Eyebrows frowning in concentration as he tried to focus his thrusts.

"Feel good hm?"

It felt all too much, body squirming to get away from him, away from his thrusts touching your most sensitive places. Away from the overwhelming pleasure but he didn't let you. Just held you in place as he continued and you were positive you would soon start to sob.

"Fuck you take it so good" he grunted, hands tightening on your hips, pace never relenting, you couldn't answer just moan at his words. You couldn't in your life imagine him being this good in bed, nor so good at dirty talk, so hot.

"You close?" he mumbled, his hips starting to jerk slightly as he got closer to his release, keeping a hold on himself. "Hm?" he pushed as you didn't answer him, head spinning. "Yes, yes so close" you mumbled, positively trashing on the soft sheets.

It came fast and hard, blindingly so as you fell over the edge. Body crumbling, mouth open in silent moans. Lando came immideately, loud groans escaping his lips before he could stop himself, eyes dropped close, jaw slack. His eyes burning with pleasure and adoration, curls slick of sweat on his forhead, body heaving. He looked so gorgous you never wanted to forget this, wanting to etch this picture in your brain.

You felt spent to your very core as you relaxed, Lando's body covering yours once again but this time in a soft manner.

Falling asleep had never felt so easy as it did in his arms, his soft calm breaths tickling your cheek, arms wrapped around you thightly.

"Wow y/n! What has happened with you?" Lily giggled, watching as you did the perfect swing, the ball landing exceptionally close to the hole. "How much have you practiced?"

You grinned at her, raising one eyebrow, shoulders shrugging. "Not that much"

Lily didn't reply but her eyes held so many words you didn't want to reply to. So many questions danced behind her irises, smile saying it all.

"Maybe it's just the extra energy?"

"Don't start" you grumbled, pushing her to make her swing but she didn't, stubborn to say what she wanted to and at this ocassion she wanted to tease you to crumbles. "What, I mean I haven't pointed it out yet but let's talk about hickies huh? What is this y/n, are we back to being teenagers?"

You horrid face made Lily crumble in laughter, almost dropping her cart in the commotion. Your hand instinctively went up to your neck, grimazing as you did so. "That little prick!" you exclaimed, shaking your head as Lily continued to laugh.

When the laughter sobered off you turned to look at her again, a warm smile now etched on her face. "But hey, y/n. I'm really happy for you, he is a great guy and all that matters for me is that you are happy" "Aw, going soft on me now Lils?" "Maybe? I just always wanted what's best for you" she said softly

"I know" you smiled, throwing your arm around her shoulders as you continued walking

"But If you say anything to Alex about this!" you half heartedly threathened making her laugh, head leaning against yours.

[jordyn14]

I’m all yours | Joe Burrow

Summary: There’s always that one girl you can’t stand, but when they drool all over your boyfriend, it’s impossible to stand by and watch.

Pairing: Joe Burrow x first person fem eader

Words: 2281

Notes: this fic contains smut, 18+ only please // I know this is shorter, but I wanted to get something out. I hope you enjoy!!

“He did so well in the last game though. You did absolutely incredible. It’s a bummer that this season is over.” Britany, a players sister said from the left side of Joe, basically throwing herself onto him for the 100th time tonight. Today, Britany was hosting a little party for all of the players and their close families to celebrate the season. The whole night, Britany was throwing compliment after compliment in Joe’s direction, completely disrespecting the fact that I was his girlfriend of almost 5 years and sitting right across from Joe so I could see it all. Of course the seating arrangement had him sitting right next to her since it was her house.

Ever since the first day she met a joe at training camp last year, she's taken an interest in him, and I mean, who wouldn't? Joe was amazing in almost every aspect of his being. Not only was he stunningly beautiful with his huge muscles, tall frame, amazing hair, and amazing blue eyes, but he was brilliant, talented, kind, charismatic, nerdy, upon many more things. But at the end of the day, the only person that was truly allowed to drool over him was me, not his teammates sister who obviously would be down to fuck him right in front of the whole dinner party. What aggravated me even more was the fact that Joe wasn't saying anything. He didn't ask her to stop or move his arm away from her when she clung to his arm while having another one of her laughing fits at something he said that nobody else found that funny.

All I could do was eat my food, mingle with the rest of the people at the party, and look like I am having an amazing night, all while watching Britany basically fuck my boyfriend right in front of me. I've never been the jealous type. I have always been cool, calm, and collected around every single one of Joes teammates girlfriends or sisters and respected them, but that's because not a single one of them acted the way she has around him. Plus, I have had to watch her do this for months and months while the season was going on since she had a family pass, and I'm so fucking glad that after today, we will be done with her since her brother got traded. At every single team event that allows family, Brittany is always practically stuck to his side. Although the annoyance in Joe’s face and actions towards her are very evident whenever he's near her, it still doesn't mean I want her anywhere near him.

"And I am just so happy that you kept the facial hair, it really looks great on you." Britany said. Joe thanked her awkwardly and took the compliment, but then his gaze shifted to mine, knowing I was pissed off. I could feel that the entire dinner party was a little weirded out at her comment since they all know I am Joes girlfriend. “It was actually my idea. I'm glad you agree with me. I just think it makes him look...so much more desirable, y'know?" I said with a fake smile and laugh when Britany nodded and laughed. After I said this, her smile quickly faded, speechless after I said Joe was desirable. I picked up my fork and stabbed a piece of steak off of my plate and then brought it up to my mouth. While I slowly put the steak in my mouth, I looked at Joe who was shooting bullets at me. Once the steak was in my mouth, I dropped my fork to the plate and glared at Joe too, daring him to look away first and towards Brittany who was obviously changing the subject.

Swallowing the piece of steak in my mouth, My jaw clenched repeatedly over and over again, annoyed by the way he was just letting Brittany drool over him. "Joe, although my brother is leaving for Houston, I would love to hang out sometimes. You can bring your girlfriend too, if you want." Brittany said and then looked at Joe with a wild smile. "Bitch." I said under my breath so nobody could hear it. While still making eye contact with Joe, I took the napkin off of my lap and onto the table next to my plate and stood up. "Excuse me, I'll be right back." I said with a fake smile and stormed off into the bathroom where I could be alone and not see the two of them. For all I know, as soon as I closed the door, Joe bent Britany over the table and started fucking her.

The sight of the two of them angered me so much that I didn't even know what to do with myself. My blood was boiling and all I wanted to do was go home with Joe. Instead, I'm in Britany's bathroom-where she's probably fingered herself to the thought of Joe-pacing back and forth, deciding when or even if I should return back to the dining room where everyone else is. All I could think about was the image of Joe bending Britany over the table and doing exactly what he does to me. I imagined him pleasuring her as much as he pleasures me...when pure ecstasy and adrenaline is pumping through both of our veins. This thought only made me even angrier and made me contemplate whether I should just tell everyone I was sick and that I would call a cab to take me back home.

With my back turned towards the door, I heard the door swing open. Shit, I forgot to lock it. I turned around quickly and basically yelled out an apology, feeling bad that I let someone walk in on me, even if I was just standing there. But, as soon as I turned around, I locked eyes with the one and only Joe burrow. With a roll of my eyes, I let out an annoying sigh that sounded more like a growl and crossed my arms over my chest. "What are you doing in here?" He asked me. I scoffed as he shut and locked the door behind him and put his hands on his hips. "Shouldn't you be out there helping Brittany with her orgasm right now? I mean she was basically cumming right on the chair just by hearing you talk." I said, probably being a little too dramatic, but he still deserved it nonetheless. Joe shook his head and then scoffed.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Joe asked me. My fists were clenched as I turned towards the mirror instead of him and started to fix my hair, trying to ignore him. So many thoughts ran through my head and I couldn't stay quiet. I quickly turned back to him and walked a step closer to him. "Are you seriously going to stand there and deny the fact that Britany practically drools all over you when she sees you! It's like she doesn't even acknowledge me." I raised my voice and glared at him, not worried about anyone hearing since it was loud enough out there. "Is someone jealous?" Joe asked with a smirk. How was he going to stand in front of me and deny the fact that she was drooling over him? Hell, she's been drooling over him since the first day they met at training camp. The second she saw those bright blue eyes, tall frame, and big muscles, he became like a drug to her.

"What- no, I am not jealous. I'm fucking annoyed. Annoyed at Brittany and the fact that you Don't seem to notice it." I said. He sucked his teeth, making multiple "tsk" sounds and then began walking towards me. Breaking eye contact, I faced the mirror and walked towards it, putting my hands on the edges of the sink. Joe came up behind me with his huge frame and I finally made eye contact with him. Fuck. He was hot. "You don't think I haven't noticed? I see the way she drools over me and ignores your presence." Henry said. We both held each other's gaze in the mirror. "Then why don't you do anything?" I asked. Joe took a step closer to me and said, "Because, 1, as a professional athlete, I'm going to be around people I don't like but have to be around, and 2, you're the only woman in this world I care about. I am yours and nothing can change that." He said.

All of a sudden, he came up close to me that I could feel his huge boner pressing up against my backside. I sucked in a breath but maintained eye contact with Joe who towered over me. "Who do I belong to?" He asked me and began to drag his fingers up my arm and to my shoulder where he moved my hair out of the way. "Me." I said quietly. Joe smiled slightly but then began to kiss my neck, not breaking eye contact. A soft sigh fell from my lips. His lips detached from my neck, leaving me longing for his touch again. A pool formed in my panties and my core ached, wanting- needing- Joe inside of my right now. "What was that?" He asked again, wanting me to say it louder. "You are mine." I said.

As soon as I said this, Joe grinded up against my ass. I practically moaned at the feeling, needing him inside me right now, the desire for him proving to be too much in this moment. "What do you want? Do you want to go back to the party? Or do you want me to fuck you in Brittany's bathroom?" He asked from behind me. As we held each other's gaze, his eyes were clouded with lust and it only turned me on even more. "Fuck me in Brittany's bathroom." I wined out to him. In a matter of seconds, Joe removed his hands from my body and started to work on undoing his belt from his pants. Luckily, I was wearing a skirt, so I just pulled down my panties. When he was done, he got closer to me and I could feel him line himself up with me. "Don't be too loud, now, alright?" Joe asked me. I nodded quickly.

The tip of his dick hit my clit and then slid down to my aching core where he began to slide it up and down my slit. "Please, Joe." I begged. In a matter of seconds, and with a smirk on his face, he thrusted himself into me, not giving me any time to acclimate to his length and girth. A pornographic moan slipped from my lips. No matter how many times we have sex, I still never get used to the size of him. My body tensed up quickly as my walls closed around his dick, making it hard for him to push himself into me. "Calm down, just let me in. Take a deep breath for me." Joe said. I nodded and then quickly took a deep breath. When I finally let him inside of me, he started to pick up the pace, snapping his hips against mine quickly. While Joe began to fuck me, he bent me over the sink and grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head back. "Look at me." He grunted as he thrusted into me, his hips hitting mine at a fast pace.

Joe was filling me up and stretching me out so much to the point where it felt impossible to look up at him. But, the pain that filled my body was slowly getting replaced by pleasure, making moan after moan slip out of my parted lips. The grip on my hair got tighter and he lifted my head up even higher. When most of the pain was replaced, I brought my eyes up until we made eye contact. Knowing Joe was watching me and only me while he fucked me and not worried about Brittany only made me want to get fucked harder by him. Joe was mine and not Brittany's. "There's my good girl." He said. He loved to see the way my fucked our face looked. With every snap of his hips, he pulled my hips closer to his so he could plunge into me harder and deeper each time.

"D-don't stop. Fuck." I moaned out as he thrusted into me. Without warning, his other hand was brought down and started rubbing slow and gentle circles into my clit, helping me reach my orgasm faster. Knowing how loud I get when I reach my high, he put his hand over my mouth tightly. With how hard he thrusted into me and the way he rubbed my clit just right, I let go of the knot that was in my stomach, getting pushed over the edge from the pleasure, and my orgasm washed over me in waves. "Joe!" My loud moan was muffled by Joes big hand that was placed tightly over my mouth. My whole body began to shake and my legs folded, but was held up by his strong arms. My eyes were sealed shut and I felt a twitch inside of me, followed by a warm liquid that overflowed and began to drip down my legs.

My legs shook and once I felt Joe pull out of me, I opened my eyes slowly and met his gaze. "Oh wow." I said, breathlessly. Joe’s chest rose and fell quickly, out of breath too while he said, “I’m all yours.”

[aphrogeneias]

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 — body worship

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

warnings: steve is kind of a perv in this, but we love it. mentions of male masturbation.

Steve didn't mean to eavesdrop.

He really didn't. He just happened to be restocking the Horror shelves — which had been a mess with Halloween around the corner — while you and Robin were apparently gossiping on the other side of it.

That wasn't uncommon. The three of you were always gossiping like three old ladies at the country club, the only difference is that you were underpaid young adults with too much private information in your hands. Who knew working at a video store would give you that much of a window into people's lives?

That's what Steve assumed you were doing. What you were actually talking about was much, much better.

"Steve hasn't been giving me fuck me eyes. He wouldn't even fuck me in the first place." You were whisper-yelling at your friend, and Steve almost felt guilty about hearing you. Almost.

"What? He totally would." Robin raised her voice a little too much, which prompted a noise that could only be a groan from you. "If you gave him a chance!"

"Robbie, have you seen the last girl he went out with? What's her name again, Hannah? Heidi?"

"Don't expect me to keep up with Steve's love life. The homeric proportions it's taking are too much for me."

"Whatever. Have you seen his ex-girlfriend? C'mon." You huffed, and Steve's heart broke a little over hearing just how wrong you were. "I'm not his type."

"You are even more clueless than I thought."

"I'm not clueless. I'm realistic. No matter how much I'd love that to be true, it's not."

His hands trembled a little as he kept shelving and organizing the tapes. Something in the back of his mind kept telling him that he wasn't supposed to know all that, he wasn't supposed to be aware of your insecurities, but he couldn't bear to be the cause of them.

Despite all that, he had to agree with Robin. He could almost laugh, if he hadn't had to pretend he wasn't listening. It was almost unbelievable how oblivious you were.

He was giving you fuck me eyes, uncontrolably so. He was giving you fuck me eyes because all he could think about was fucking you.

In his defense, that's not totally true. He did think about taking you on dates, and holding your hand. He thought about telling you how beautiful he thought you were, and about making you smile — but all that faded away when he thought about your body.

Since the day you first walked through the doors of Family Video, his eyes couldn't look away. The way you moves your hips when you walked, how you looked with your hair up and your neck was left exposed, making him think of all the ways he could make your skin rise with his lips and teeth on it.

He craved for the times where you would take the night shift on Saturdays with him, when the store closed at midnight, because that meant he would take you home in his car and he would be able to see the way your thighs spread when you sat on his passenger seat. He yearned to run a hand over it and squeeze, feeling your soft flesh under his big hands. Getting to the sacred place between them, feeling you wet and wanting on his fingers.

It was worse when the weather was hot and you used to wear skirts. It made him completely lose his train of thought, instead thinking about bending you over the counter, pushing aside whatever cute little pair of panties you were wearing and drive his aching cock into you until you were both satisfied.

It wasn't much better when you wore jeans, though. Not when he kept picturing his hands hugging your curves, not the fabric that made your ass look like it was sculpted. He'd make sure to walk behind you, as closely as possible, just to run a hand over your waist, or guide you the other away with his hands on your hips, just to get a small taste of it.

Getting a whiff of your signature scent and trying not to get hard, thinking about running his tongue all over your skin.

And when he was in bed late at night, after standing uncomfortably in his jeans all day, finally able to stroke his cock at the thought of you, all he could think of was what he was going to do if he had you right there. All the ways he would worship your body, not leaving a single inch of it untouched.

You, in the middle of his bed, legs spread for him to feast. You, on your stomach, pretty ass perked up for him to grab and grope while he thrust into you until you couldn't hold back screaming his name. You, on your knees, your perfect lips even more perfect around his cock. Burying his face on your tits, on your tummy, kissing you in all the places he wishes he could see.

He just needed to find a way to prove it to you.

[prongspoet]

broken hearted | luke castellan.

first time writing for luke, so hope this is okay! tell me what u think in the reblogs i would love to know and get more luke asks!

summary: the curse of cabin 10 makes aphrodite!reader pretend to date her best friend so she doesn't have to cause a heartbreak to her actual crush. even though, at the end of it, she's the only one who had her heart broken. major inspo from this concept.

"You're staring." y/n' best friend, luke castellan, head counselor of the hermes cabin, pointed the fact out, side eying the girl right at his side, after looking at the boy sword training in front of them.

"he's staring back." the aphrodite girl said with a grin. the sunlight bathing her head making it comfortingly warm. luke would know, since he was the one caressing it while she laid down next to him. both of them on the grass, enjoying the late afternoon at camp. "so..."

michael dawson, ares' kid, was, in fact, staring. luke couldn't blame him, the way his best friend looked made everyone pay attention to her. she didn't even had to try. and still, the swordfighting happening in front of them made luke even more sure that mike needed a way so she could notice him. not naturally, but somehow, it worked, since the girl payed attention to him as soon as he started.

"oh well, like mother like daughter, huh. " he continued, in a mocking tone, holding his laugh, raising himself by his elbows, before taking one of his hands to the girl's arm. "your siblings wouldn't be too happy to see the goody two shoes dating an ares' kid, would they?"

"gods, don't fucking say that." she giggled, hiding her face with both of her hands. she went quiet for a second, still staring at the boy. "ares' kid or not.." y/n sighed, pouting slightly. "mike's nicer than the others, he wouldn't deserve to be a guinea pig."

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i have to do.” the girl muttered, with a soft sigh. she couldn't blame her mother, she worshipped aphrodite; her beauty, her power, her knowledge and her actions. that didn't mean that she enjoyed the judgment. the need to make someone else feel miserable just because she could. it wasn't fair. "the first love heart break thing."

"i'm glad i'm not in his shoes, that's for sure." the boy whispered, with a chuckle, still trying to be as quiet as possible. his thumb caressing her arm incessantly. it made her skin burn. in a second, y/n abruptly raised her chin, getting supported by her elbows, getting muffled groan from luke, once it hit his ribs. "what is it?"

"you could be!"

"am i your first love, daisy?" he raised one of his eyebrows, with a mischievous grin stamped on the boys face. the scar in his eye making itself more clear. "you should have told me sooner- ouch!"

"shut up, hero. listen to me!" he knew that tone. and as anyone else who had a single bit of sense, he kept quiet, wanting nothing more to hear her insane idea. "we could pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend." the smile on her delicate face kept getting bigger as she explained her brilliant - yet not completely effective - idea. "i could pretend to break your heart. no one gets hurt, i can stay with mike after is over, and my mom ends up being proud of me!"

the aphrodite girl stared at him expectedly, hoping he would buy her insane plan, hoping he could save her from doing something he never imagined her doing it. luke got quiet for a minute. his eyes were darker than usual. he couldn't stand that. y/n knew her best friend well enough to know that he meant to say something. he never truly did. "you shouldn't be looking for her approval."

"i'm not searching for approval i'm just trying to prove myself.."

"you don't have to prove your devotion to her by doing this." his tone stern, more quiet. colder. "you burn offerings for her every single day. you pray, you're always expressing how incredible she is."

"you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

and suddenly, the idea seemed more appealing than ever. she wasn't using her charmspeak on him. no, luke knew how sugary and sweet y/n's words could be when she wanted to. at that moment, his best friend was just being honest. and even though he could retribute that feeling, luke felt that he needed to do it. just for her.

"yeah," he nodded. defeated. "fine, i'll do it."

"really?" the girl hugged him tight. more excited than ever. "thank you boyfriend!"

"yeah, yeah." he grinned, letting her rest her head on his chest, carefully watching y/n closing her eyes, like nothing else would ever bother her. "just don't be too mean when you dump me."

pretending was easy.

they've always been stuck to each other. having dinner with each other. burning offerings with each other. planning capture the flag with each other. training, swimming, talking, sneaking out to parties. always with one right after the other.

it wasn't supposed to be different, they just had to make it more believable.

"we should be holding hands," y/n pointed out as the couple walked calmly to the main area, where dinner was starting. "silena asked me why we never hold hands if we're dating, so i thought we could make it more..."

"real, yeah." luke nodded, grabbing her hand right the next second she spoke. "c'mon, girlfriend, hurry up." he grinned, and she couldn't help but grin back. "i'm starving."

luke could do that. he could kiss her in front of people, and tell everyone the way they got together. he could hold hands with her, caress her back and almost have a heart attack when she kissed him behind his ear. he could live with that, yeah. it was normal. it was pretending.

until it started to change. suddenly. quickly.

he noticed her. the eyes, the shape of her face, the way her eyebrows moved when she laughed, and the look she gave him every single time she entered a room he was already in, and luke couldn't help but pay attention at her soft hair, how excited she became while looking at pretty flowers, and especially, how her fingers felt against his own scalp when they needed to do some pretending. she was an aphrodite kid after all. y/n was charming. y/n was lovely. y/n was his girlfriend, at least for a while.

and she couldn't help but notice him either. how his scar looked more bright when they. the subtle, yet attentive and gentle way he taught her how to hold a sword, how to train, how to fight. the infuriating way at how he held her chin up slightly, every single time, before sealing his lips against hers.

and for once, neither of them were pretending.

the bonfire started earlier that night, but the couple came to it late; y/n helped one of her sisters who was in a small crises, and her sweet caring boyfriend waited for her by the aphrodite cabin's door, holding her hand as soon as she got out, so they could sit together at one of the logs, full of campers, chartering, telling stories, and enjoying the peacefulness that the simple event emanate.

luke choose one of the back logs for a reason, it was darker, harder to anyone else to see them. even so, as soon as the boy started to leave little pecks at her jaw, he was able to hear some whistles and exclamations. teenagers were gonna be teenagers after all.

"alright," y/n sat upstraight, taking a deep breath before continuing. "you can't do that here."

"i'm just having fun!" the boy said with a mischievous grin. he knew way to well what he was doing. she hoped he would do it forever. the teasing, the almost getting caught made her heart sink every time. "you are my girlfriend after all."

"don't get ahead of yourself, hero." she muttered, grinning at him, before sealing lips with him again. "i still have to break your heart."

"are you sure about that?" he furrowed his eyebrows, pretending to be offended, but getting right back at his job pretty quickly. "i'll just enjoy it until the time comes then."

she laughed, taking her head back so he could have full access to her neck, delicately taking one of her hands to his scalp. and he noticed how much he loved that sound. so much in a way he wished he could bottle it up so he could taste it every time he felt miserable. that wasn't possible. but y/n promised that as long as they were together, he was allowed to make her laugh any time he wanted to, if if meant getting him happy.

that's why it hurt even more when he did what he did.

when he revealed himself to be the traitor.

"come with me."

"i'm sorry, what the hell are you doing?" she cried out, feeling her heart beating faster than ever. "you're not thinking straight. you're not. you're not like this, i-" the words got caught up in her throat. y/n felt like she could pass out at any minute. "i know you luke." her voice was a mere pleading by then, hoping with all her soul he would hear. "you wouldn't do this to me."

"you mean a lot to me, daisy, but this is fucking different."

he was different, and she finally noticed. his eyes darker, his tone stern, and the way he held himself up, like he was prepared for a fight.

y/n would never fight him.

and he would never fight her, right?

and when luke turned his back against her, letting the aphrodite girl caught up with a sob, furrowing her eyebrows, feeling the tears already soaking up her eyes, y/n thought she understood.

maybe aphrodite didn't buy it. and even if she did, she knew it started out with a lie. y/n was playing house. thinking she could be smarter than her mom, she could prove it to everyone else how that curse was a lie, and that nothing would happen to the one that didn't completed it.

but it did happend.

no demigod could ever stand out a god. y/n was no exception.

and she finally understood that.

by the end of the day, y/n went back to her well known cabin, shamefully, missing her radiant aura and pretty smile, hiding a shattered heart in her pocket.

[bonefall]

Mapleshade Discourse O'Clock

It's that time again!!! SO I just kinda want to jot down all of my various thoughts about it as a story and just generally weigh in about Mapleshade.

I like the idea of Mapleshade more than the actual Mapleshade that is used throughout the books.

She has a really good gimmick-- to haunt Applekin though the generations. I don't like how they turn her into a generic "cat satan" for Tigerclaw's Fury and keep making her appear as a vain lackey demon.

I like her characterization in Mapleshade's Vengeance the most, of all her appearances.

But, I don't think my reading of the character depicted in MV is what the author intended.

See, I like MV as a story with no hero. The only blameless characters are the kittens who drowned and Perchpaw, while everyone else is some flavor of selfish, cruel, or vengeful. Everyone thinks they're in the right, but no one truly wins in the end.

Nothing about it was noble. Every tragedy that happened was utterly avoidable. In the end, everyone bears some responsibility for the pain and suffering that happened the day those children drowned.

BUT I'm pretty certain that the intended reading was that Mapleshade would be the one clearly in the wrong the whole time, as she justifies her own actions like a villain does.

Especially knowing how poorly the writers thought of similar female characters like Squilf and Leafp lying about the three, or Nightcloud being jealous her crummy husband is acting strange around another woman.

I feel justified in assuming that when Mapleshade is not happy she's being cheated on, or when she refuses to correct Frecklewish's record knowing it's unsafe if her kits are revealed as half clan, the writer really does think you're not supposed to take her side.

Because women should just not have emotions about being cheated on or something, and lying is unspeakably bad even if the truth puts you and your children in danger.

But. Y'know. We can all use the braincell for a moment and see that this is fucking stupid

SO when the book goes on to have Mapleshade ignore all the warnings about the swollen river, show both ThunderClan and RiverClan being obscenely cruel to her, and then walk across that bridge while insisting in her head that the deaths weren't her fault, I think the implication is obvious AND SHITTY.

Ergo I reject it completely. I can see what the book wants to say, and I think it says something trashy.

In spite of how badly the writer wants it to be Mapleshade's fault the kittens died, I say it was the asshole who threw a bunch of kittens out into the rain for being mixed race, actually.

Oakstar had the power here. Ravenwing had some power as well, but he makes it clear it wasn't his suggestion to throw the babies out into the woods.

And when it comes to Bridge Discourse, it was at least the afternoon, raining heavily, and Mapleshade was trying to get to RiverClan Camp. A straight shot across the stepping stones.

I think it is ridiculous to imagine an extremely emotional parent managing three very scared children, attempting to get out of the rain and dangerous wilderness before nightfall, would be rational enough to realize a large detour would be safer.

MAYBE the distance from ThunderClan Camp to the Bridge is equal to the distance to the Stones. But the distance between the bridge and RIVERCLAN Camp is longer.

I hope this goes without saying; but Frecklewish didn't deserve the Dark Forest.

Even in Banana World logic where she was sitting on the bank watching those kids doggy-paddle. Do not fucking jump in to save drowning people if you are not trained to do that.

I'm dead serious, this is the first thing you learn in any kind of water safety course. They WILL panic, you WILL get dragged down, you WILL become another liability someone else has to save instead of helping your initial target.

And that isn't even mentioning this being a flooded river. That's POOL safety.

In spite of how I think Mapleshade was right to lie, I do think Frecklewish being that upset and angry was understandable.

You're entitled to your feelings, but not how you treat people. She still attacked Mapleshade and called the kittens a slur.

That's what makes her interesting, though.

I don't think she deserves the Dark Forest, but Frecklewish's anger is an interesting trait. I don't like how a lot of defensive interpretations of her character end up downplaying how she acted at the exile

why does a woman being rightfully angry suddenly strike people as "unsympathetic." Girls can also say things in fury they don't fully mean. OR girls can rationalize their unjustified, ballistic response post-hoc out of pride.

Idk let girls be mad. Admit they were wrong without deserving HELL. I don't like the woobification impulse.

It's not really a hot take anymore I think, but Frecklewish is definitely only in the DF because the writing team judges women characters more harshly. Oakstar threw babies out in the rain in fury, and Ravenwing didn't stop it. But somehow only Frecklewish, a normal warrior, gets DF'd.

But what really rattles around in my head about the whole story is the way that the in-universe culture is able to suddenly value ethics like peace, forgiveness, and tolerance when MAPLESHADE is ready to throw those things out, but BEFORE then, it's well established that Clan culture is violent, vengeful, and intolerant.

One of our earliest scenes is Rainfall snarling at Mapleshade that he loves the way Birchface and Flowerpaw drowned. He's threatening that he'll kill even more ThunderClan warriors.

Over in ThunderClan, everyone is itching for revenge against Appledusk for those deaths, even though it seems to have been an accident. Oakstar even hates RiverClan well into sequel books for this.

But then later on, everyone acts Shocked Pikachu that Mapleshade actually went and GOT revenge.

And like, let's be real. This is a battle culture. Yes, by OUR standards Revenge Is Bad.

But in these books, so full of war and clan conflict...?

What I'm saying is that I wish the books let Mapleshade be a little more "controversial" in-universe. Like some cats actually frame the story very differently, and you can learn a lot about a person by who they think the hero is.

And how RiverClan responds to the drowned kids bugs me a lot tbh

We just established over in ThunderClan that there are people who think the babies were born filthy for being HalfClan.

We know everyone there stood by and watched as Oakstar threw them out into the rain-- only Ravenwing even seemed uncomfortable.

AND we know very well that in a few generations, TigerClan will rise. Which openly executed a HalfClan cat and wanted to kill 2 apprentices.

We KNOW the bigotry in Clan culture is deadly and unfair.

But then they go over to RiverClan and Darkstar is sad these three kids are dead? And RC is furious with Mapleshade for that?

Again, YES, you and me with OUR morals know that this bigotry is insane and spiteful. What I'm getting at is that IN-UNIVERSE half clan kittens and their parents face extreme discrimination. Even within this book.

It's odd to me that Darkstar refuses to let Mapleshade bury their bodies, sends her away for the death of the kids while saying it's "not the season for losing warriors" to Appledusk, and it's meant to come across as delusional that Maple thinks her babies were buried dishonorably

I wish more women in WC got so pissed off at the absolute injustice of it all that they went on a girl rampage. Perhaps it's my own taste, but I like it a lot more when the villain isn't entirely wrong and there's several angles you can read the story from. If she didn't do what she did, she would have been the only one who saw any consequences for anything that happened.

Anyway in conclusion uhhh idk murder is wrong. But Mapleshade's allowed to do it because she's a silly billy. Her greatest crime was not killing Oakstar also

[qxldnya]

TEASING

Jude Bellingham X fotballer!reader!fem

Wc: 300

Warning: sexual tension, touchy jude, idk let me know what else-

A/n: this is my first fic so feel free to give me constructive criticism <3

Jude couldn't help himself. It was as if you had him wrapped around your finger, you had him just as distracted as he had you even if it is his own fault.

In his defense, you looked fucking phenomenal in that training kit. Coach had called you and the rest of the team, to go through the game plan for the upcoming games at the world cup.

Jude just couldn't keep his eyes off you. He kept stealing glances when the coach would look away. It was just you and those gorgeous short shorts.

It had Jude feeling quite feral when he had joined your side during the meeting. He didn't know what to do with his hands once he got into your vicinity.

He can hear coach droning on, but his words have fallen on deaf ears. Jude slipped his hand around your waist slowly, pulling you comfortably close.

You can feel the warm radiating on his frame, leaning into his soft touch as you focused intently on coach's words.

Jude maneuvered behind you, wrapping surrounding you in his arms.

It's a rare act of public affection that does warn you a couple states from your fellow teamates.

Jude doesn't care, though. He has his chest pressed against your back, dipping his head just a little bit to get real close to your ear.

"Knees still tender?" He whispered with a smirk, adoring how you nearly choked on your air.

You knew exactly what he was referring to. You had complained all morning about how bruised your knees were, how raw they felt after being tackled around during practice.

Jude was teasing you, trying to spur a reaction from you. Heat filled your cheeks, danced over your skin and made your knees weak.

Your eyes darted up to coaches in front of you and your friends, hoping they wouldn't notice how flustered you were becoming.

You snapped your jaw shut, deciding to ignore Jude's comment and focus on the job at hand

If only you had realize that you were challenging him. In a matter of seconds, his lips are brushing against your ear delicately,"Are you ignoring me?"

He uttered so quietly for only you to hear.

"Surely, you wouldn't dare ignore me, you know that would drive me crazy, don't you love?"

His word prove to be true when you feel his hands fall down to your hips and grip them tightly. Jude has you pinned back against him casually, and you nearly whined when you felt his teeth teasingly drag over your lobe.

You melted against his touch, all thoughts flooding out of you because how can you focus when he's breathing down your neck?

" Ju..."You mumbled under your breath, but you don't get to finish whatever plea or flustered comment that was in your head because his grip leaves you.

It took a second for you to realize that coach was sternly glaring at Jude with a look that read stop it or so help me. He had cleared his throat to get both of your attention.

"Do I need to separate you two?" Coach questioned, and you felt like a school girl that just got caught talking in class.

"No, sir,"You blurted out anxiously, not wanting anymore attention on you. You heard snickering from the rest of the team while someone shouted

"Well on there Bellingham!" that made everyone break out in laughter. Jude can't help but chuckle at your immediate reaction. You felt your cheeks get all hot and palms all sweaty with widening eyes.

"I—I don't, we, it won't happen again."

"You aren't the problem, L/n," coach claimed, his eyes on Jude.

"We don't need to have a talk, do we?"

"Oh god, not the talk,"Grealish murmured from across the room."You do not want that, trust me."

"What talk?"Saka questioned,"I haven't gotten any talk, is this a football related talk? Has everyone gotten this talk?"

"Unfortunately,"Mason admitted, sharing an awkward glance.

" coach always seems to walk in at a bad time to be fair" Phil piped in.

"Oh my god, please stop,"You spoke, completely horrified that this had become the talk of the meeting.

"The talk cannot be that bad,"Jude replied, making you smack him lightly in the chest as a plead to not drag this on. He glanced down at you to see your soft eyes just begging for him to get you out of the center of attention.

"But that isn't the point, we should really focus." Coach looked at him with a warning glance,"We will talk about this," He commanded before returning to the debriefing.

Jude felt you relax against him, and he gently pressed a kiss to your temple before whispering ever so softly in your ear,"And we'll continue this later, Darling."

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Imagine when the dagger squad first initially met at the hard deck Jake's wife noticed Bob first and is like "your my son now" and she tells jake their gonna parents and jake is excited to be a dad and javy is excited to be an uncle and she just introduces Bob as her son and everyone is like ???????? And jake is like so your not pregnant.....guess I better change that.

And on trainings Bob tells on jake to Mrs. Seresin everytime Jake teases him and she's like dont be mean to our son now apologize to our son right now😤😠😠 and she threatens him with a month of no sex if he doesn't apologize to Bob

Lollll okay but, just remember, you asked for this 🤣🤣

Practice Baby

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Wife!Reader

Summary: Jake Seresin's wife plays a joke on her husband and it backfires.

CW: This is very tongue in cheek. Swearing, mentions of adoption, pregnancy, it gets a little weird.

"You’re so cute, I just want to adopt you," you coo, pinching Bob’s cheek affectionately.

Bob grins at you. "You can adopt me. I mean, I have parents, but you can still adopt me. I wouldn’t mind coming over for some home cooked meals now and then."

"Aww," you say. "Anytime, sweetie."

"Amazing. Can I invite some friends over?" He laughs.

You give him a pointed look. "Maybe when you’re finished your homework."

At that moment, your husband walks into the pub with his buddy. When they spot you at the bar, they start heading in your direction.

"Fuck," Bob mutters. "I forgot who my dad would be."

You giggle. "He might be a little rough around the edges, but he’s a big softie when you get to know him."

"Not really keen on getting to know him," Bob retorts just as Jake and Coyote arrive.

Jake slips a hand around your waist and lowers his head to bring his lips to your ear. "You have no business being so fucking hot, Mrs. Seresin," he murmurs with a smirk.

You glance up at him with a smile. "I have some news, babe," you say.

Bob makes a whining sound and Jake flinches. "Jesus, Bob, when did you get here?"

Bob grimaces. "Been here the whole time."

"Really?" Jake furrows his eyebrows at him suspiciously.

You roll your eyes. "How do you feel about being a dad?" you ask with a completely straight face.

Jake turns to look at you with a stunned expression. His eyes are so wide, they look comical. He takes your face in his hands and brings it right up to his own. "Baby," he whispers. "Are you pregnant?"

You bite your lip, realizing you might've taken the joke too far. You hadn't expected Jake to react like this, and now you feel kind of bad. Jake has always seemed very neutral toward the prospect of children. So, you didn't, even for a second, consider that he might be excited to be a father. "Uhh," you utter slowly.

"I'm going to be an uncle?" Coyote pipes in excitedly.

Your eyes slide to look over Jake's shoulder, but Jake brings his face even closer to yours to redirect your attention. You wince, reaching to your side to pick up Bob's hand. You wave it sheepishly while Jake takes a minor step back and glances between the two of you questioningly. "Meet our son," you say with a nervous laugh.

Jake watches you with an unimpressed expression. Coyote narrows his eyes, blinking profusely. He's still trying to wrap his head around the situation. "What?" he says in confusion.

"Okay," you say, dropping Bob's hand. "You guys killed the joke. Congratulations."

Jake's mouth curls slightly upward. "Joke's on you, because I'm gonna put a baby in you."

You raise your eyebrows at him.

"It's your own damn fault," he says. "You put the idea in my head."

"But, we have Bob." You gesture toward the man to your right who doesn't quite know how to respond.

Jake grins at you and then at Bob. "We'll get him an, 'I'm going to be a Big Brother' t-shirt."

...

A month later, you meet your husband and his squad at the Hard Deck. You walk right up to Jake and smack his shoulder.

"Ow!" Jake yells. "What was that for, woman?"

"You called our son a bonehead?!" you shout at the top of your lungs.

Jake looks around to see the other patrons watching you. "Not a real son," he clarifies for the spectators. He rises from his seat and mutters in a low tone, "You're making me look bad, honey."

You give him a flat look. "You are bad!"

"It's all in good fun, this is how they learn," Jake says. "I'm just teaching him to grow a backbone like any good father should. Next week, I'm planning on taking him to his first kegger."

"Be nice to our practice baby," you say.

Jake puts his arms around you and leans his head on yours. "You're so weird, sweetheart," he mutters into your temple. "I love it."

"I'm being serious," you say. "If I hear him complain one more time, there will no sex for a month."

Jake gives you a pointed look, trying to hold back a laugh. "We're just going to have to teach our little Bob to stop tattling now, won't we?"

"Bob's not the problem."

Jake nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. "Sugar, let me get you a drink," he mutters, kissing your shoulder repeatedly while he runs his hands up and down your arms. "You seem a little on edge."

"Don't patronize me!"

Jake lifts his head and gives you a serious look. "Are you okay?"

You nod. "Just don't do it again," you say.

"I won't," he promises. "What are you drinking?"

You give him a sheepish look and purse your lips. "I'm not," you respond.

Jake stares at you in shock. "Are you fucking with me?"

You gulp awkwardly, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. You shake your head, sort of terrified to see how he will react after your tumultuous trial run with Bob.

Jake lets out a bewildered breath and then he pulls you in for a kiss, his arms winding around your back as he presses you into the table in behind.

"People are eating here," you hear Coyote complain.

Jake ignores him, continuing to kiss you feverishly. "I'm gonna be a dad," he mutters against your lips with a smile.

"I mean, you already are," you reason.

Jake chuckles, his hands caressing your waist. "Coyote!" he says, turning to look at him sternly.

Coyote looks up from his burger jadedly.

"I'm gonna need a car seat," Jake says proudly.

Coyote wrinkles his eyebrows. "For Bob?"

You snicker while Jake glances back at you with a thoughtful expression. "Car seats work for planes too, right?"

"Don't even think about it," you respond threateningly.

Jake grins. "You're right," he says. "You know, Mav and Rooster have this cute little motto. It goes: 'Don't think, just do.'"

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[erwinsvow]

you write rafe so good and like you get me like sometimes i’m reading and i’m like “how’d they know😦” so HEAR ME OUT lifeguard!reader (bc i’m a lifeguard at a few country clubs) and i think rafe would be drooling and kelce and top would make fun of him and they’d like break all the rules like back flipping off the diving board just to get readers attention

oh my god first of all i completely adore you!! im so glad yess we must be little brain twins <3 i would love to know which parts made you think that! but here is the best i could come up with for a lifeguard au which is soooo cute but imagine.. its a pogue reader...

rafe knows every pretty girl who frequents the country club, he's made a point of making sure he does. so a fresh face in the crowd stands out pretty easily, especially one like yours.

you're pretty without trying, hair tugged behind you in a ponytail and a simple red one piece, the bottoms covered with denim shorts. it's not the usual kind of outfit for the club, but maybe you're headed out by the pool or something.

he can only see you from the back, though when you turn around, he sees the white cross on the front of your swimsuit. then he sees the boy in matching red trunks next to you, the whistle around your necks and a little first-aid box in your hands. a hot life guard, it doesn't get much more stereotypical than that.

you look around the club, following the boy who can only be giving you a tour of the facilty, with curious eyes like you've never been here before. it's only then a comment from top snaps him into a frankly startling realization.

"can't believe they hire pogues for this shit. wouldn't be surprised if shit started going missing by the pool deck."

rafe thinks normally he'd throw another line in, laugh at what top's saying, but he can't find it in him today. so he keeps watching, the sweet way you smile at a little girl who stopped you to ask for a bandaid, the way you nod while taking in something else in your training.

"alright. you've been staring at that pogue girl for twenty minutes. what gives?" kelce asks finally, after rafe ignores what they've been saying to him for the third time.

"huh?" he snaps back, tearing eyes away from you to look at his idiot friends.

"don't tell me you got hots for the lifeguard. what're you, thirteen?" they laugh, but rafe doesn't.

"shut up." he stands, downing the rest of his drink. "m'goin' to the pool. you loser can come and shut up or stay here and yap."

when he finally gets out there, you've shed the shorts, looking over the kiddie section of the pool with a watchful eye, taking the responsibility of watching brats seriously. he doesn't hesitate, jumping into the deep end with a huge splash, one that gets your attention.

you walk over, making sure whoever that was didn't just fall in, when two boys yell over.

"hey! lifeguard! our friend needs help!" you turn to look back at the boy who's been training you, wondering if you should dive in or wait since you're still in training, when you hear them again.

"not him! you! in the red. hurry!" you don't hesitate, though you're confused, jumping straight in and swimming over to the boy. he doesn't look like he needs help, in fact, he looks like he's floating.

"um, excuse me-" that's all you get out when you get close to him, because he scoops you up like he's rescuing you, carrying you out of the pool like a bride. you kick your feet, yelling out. "hey! put me down! you're not even drowning!"

he sets you down, and you wipe your face, staring up at pretty blue eyes and an arrogant face, once you recognize, one that your best friends hate.

"oh. you. i should have known."

"me? yeah, heard about me, have you? only good things, i hope."

"yeah, no. what the fuck was all that? i thought you were drowning."

"yeah, i was. thanks for the help." confused, soaking wet, and not appreciating his two little sidekicks snickering behind you, you try to get away, when rafe follows.

"so, uh, how long you been working here?"

"it's my first day."

"yeah, i thought so. i never forget a pretty face, so-"

"are you serious?"

"dead serious. and yours is definitely pretty."

"rafe," you say, leaning in closer so he can hear you clearly. "stop hitting on me. i have to work. some of us actually have to work."

"know my name already, huh? what else have you heard-" you roll your eyes, he laughs.

"i heard you're a good swimmer," you say, taking another step closer.

"yeah. from who?"

"i don't know. i'm about to find out." with one hand, you push his chest, and he falls backwards into the pool, the water splashing around your feet. you laugh, watching him bob in the pool, his friends laughing too. "good talk. hope we never speak again."

rafe gets out of the pool, pushing his wet hair back. he calls out after you.

"yeah we'll see about that."

[patricia-taxxon]

So, I watched that response stream that DeadwingDork made about my furry boinking video, here it is if you're curious.

By some accounts, this gentleman seems like he means well, with regards to pronouns he pulls the "when in doubt, they/them" gambit, which is partway there. If he finds this, I'll politely let him know I don't use they, just she & it. Thanks!

I have good reason to believe he began this journey in good faith, but over the course of the video he slowly gives up being charitable, and it's very frustrating to watch. There's a few key moments of miscommunication I noticed that I'd like to clear up.

DeadwingDork and I got off on the wrong foot very early on, and part of that's my fault. I start the video openly lusting after Garth Alphandomega, and this put him on edge. This might be an ideological difference we can't get past, he says that Garth is "Just a wolf" when I personally think he's quite different from a wolf. After that, I do the joke where I say "If the opportunity presented itself I would fuck my-" and cut to The Flowers of Robert Mapplethorpe, but he didn't have the context to understand what I'm saying by cutting to that album in particular, so he thought I was jokingly saying I would fuck my dog. He spends the rest of the stream with that initial impression of me lusting after what he perceives as literal animals, it's kinda the initial rock that starts the avalanche and closes him off from understanding basically anything that I'm saying, until the end, where he's convinced I've just spent 43 minutes coming out as a zoophile.

This might just be a difference in artistic philosophy, like he interprets Alpha & Omega to be about wolves whereas I interpret it as being about people through the aesthetic lens of wolves. Metaphor isn't just for abstract art movies, after all. Garth walks on 4 legs, but he has enough obvious persistent human-like traits both visually and behaviorally for me to understand him as a person delivered via wolf. For the same reason, he is disturbed by my lusting for Shoukichi Pompoko, because he interprets that movie as literally being about tanuki. I think this the main reason the concept of a character being "simultaneously human and inhuman" completely whiffed on him. He skimmed over my segment on how Leo can be both a wolf and hispanic & didn't understand the relevance, because I don't think that contradiction can be resolved in his head.

The most frustrating part of this stream is the way he clearly picks up on a lot of the overarching subtext that I'm putting down, but by that point in the video he doesn't have enough faith in me to interpret it as being put there intentionally. He treats the connection between my special-ed dog training and my current animal identity as an unintentional self-report, when it isn't. There's this *maddening* segment where I talk about Pom Poko for the first time, and he... honestly quite accurately picks apart the picture I'm illustrating about alienation, but he handwaves it away in favor of his horrible mangling of the exact literal sentence I am saying at that moment.

He says:

"There's clearly a story here, but it's being buried. There's a lot of stuff that's leading towards... 'oh, you watched this movie and this movie and your parents did this and your fuckin' teachers did this, and that's why this is happening.' That's like the fuckin' undertones of this video, [but] the main takeaway is supposed to be that this movie... I dunno, makes you f.. is supposed to feel like how fuckin' animal people feel like they're... whatever, I don't, I don't... whatever."

He grabs at the subtext, the story I'm obviously telling with the surface level anecdote of my experience seeing Pom Poko when I was young. I say obviously, because he and his chat both understood it. But then he discards that, assumes it was unintended, and importantly, he doesn't have a good answer for what I'm actually saying divorced from that. Because... what's even left after you remove the subtextual story I'm telling with this anecdote? The anecdote itself? Of course he's empty handed.

Other notes:

He can't decide whether I'm an over zealous recruiter trying to call everything furry, or that I'm a gatekeeper trying to force robust definitions of 'furry' into the general lexicon. This isn't very important, it's just kind of funny.

He is dismissive of me saying I won't report news if my only source is Kiwifarms, but he doesn't really give a good reason for it. I am having trouble summarizing his argument for why I should have referenced a website whose users doxxed me. He hilariously suggests that I should negotiate with them to have my address taken down, as long as I'm not a "lolcow" about it. I'll be charitable and say that I don't think he's thought this through very much.

He hates that I "compare autistic people to animals," when that really just doesn't mean anything on its own. A comparison is a comparison, a follower of mine pointed out to me they could say that trans people are like cockroaches & it could either mean they are doggedly resilient in the face of harsh circumstances or that they are pests that need to be exterminated. I meant something specific by using an animal metaphor to describe my autistic identity, and it transcends the literal reading of "calling autistic people animals."

He derisively calls Echo a "gay furry sex game" when it simply is not. I'll forgive him for this because he hasn't played it, but Echo isn't porn, it's a horror game. There's sex in it, and it has the framework of a dating game, but it is far from the main appeal. I'm not saying this to elevate Echo above the degrading label of "porn," because Adastra is definitely porn and it's almost as good, just not as easily recommendable to outsiders.

He thinks its commendable that Sean Booth bought my album, which is nice.

Overall, I don't think DeadwingDork is outwardly hateful, but he is quite gullible. He accepts hate speech at face value and buys into narratives useful for hate movements. There's echos of trans groomer panic, that old "you're the reason people are transphobic" chestnut, and of course, using Kiwifarms as a news source. He said he came into the video knowing nothing about me and had no reason to be approaching me in bad faith, but he clearly doesn't trust me enough to think the main rhetorical thrust of the video was intentional.

bad stream lol

[bunnyreaper]

wc - 4.6k

warnings - 18+/nsfw (eventually), age gap (older male younger female), bodyguard!au, threat of violence.

notes - another visit to dilfville, a new series, because that's all we need, right? lol. hope you enjoy ♥

Friday nights meant one thing: unwinding after a long week of working in your home office, braving the outside world, and heading to the comfy flat belonging to your friend Jules.

While visiting her place was always a blast, Friday nights were for DnD. Leaving behind Earth for its fantasy counterpart and getting lost in the adventures of your group's merry band of do-gooders. 

Saturdays are usually spent drinking coffee, frequenting markets, and then rounding the night off with cocktails and dancing. (And Sunday's recuperating from being up on your feet all night, spending the day in bed reading whatever trashy romance novel is next on your reading list.) 

Your weekends are your sanctuary—your freedom from routine and work is your refuge. 

You dance around your bedroom, rocking your hips to the music as you pull on your clothes—a white blouse and black bustier to channel the vibes of your character Elora. 

When the doorbell rings, it's entirely unexpected. Anyone close to you knows you're just a few minutes away from heading out for the night—maybe it's a neighbour, you suppose to yourself as you head to the door. 

On the other side of your flat's door is an incredibly handsome man. Broad framed, ruggedly good-looking yet with a finely pressed white shirt and dress trousers. His features are striking, strong eyes and a brow slashed with a scar, stubble all over, and a neatly trimmed mohawk that strangely suits him. All in all, a sight for fucking sore eyes, standing so confidently and casually in your doorway like he belongs.

You hate how your eyes linger on his form far longer than they probably should, but the handsome stranger is just so enthralling.

"Hello?" You mumble, a little absent-mindedly, as you try to gather thoughts that aren't just lewd and dirty.

His stormy blue eyes meet yours, his cheek tugs into a half-smile that definitely doesn't meet his eyes, the faintest dimple appearing on his left cheek. "John MacTavish, ye maw sent me." 

"Oh, the bodyguard." You reply dumbly. Fuck. If you were opposed to the idea before, you certainly were now... or maybe you're not.

On one hand, you have to have a handsome stranger watching over you—on the other, you have to have a handsome stranger watching over you, while you act normal about the entire thing. 

You realise that you're acting completely the fool, so you snap out of your thoughts and step aside to allow the older man inside. "She didn't tell me to expect you... probably thought I'd run. Uh, come in." 

"Thanks." He nods as he steps through the threshold, ducking slightly as he does. 

Once inside, his eyes scan over the open-plan space of your living area, seemingly taking in every little detail. 

You watch him, sensing that his training and experience make him focus on the minute particulars of a room that others would completely skip over. 

Your mother had already clued you into the fact there might need to be security enhancements to the flat itself, and you assume those requests came at the behest of the man himself. He seems to be lost in evaluating what these might be. 

"So, what can I do for you?" You ask, filling the air with some sort of conversation starter. You have no idea what you're doing in this situation on the whole, but especially not when it comes to hiring, negotiating with, and retaining a bodyguard.

"It's what I can do fer you." He turns, taking you in now, and you start to feel self-conscious about having too many buttons undone, too much chest on show. 

Something tells you that MacTavish's gaze would make you squirm regardless—his eyes carrying a heaviness to them that seem like a fantastic attribute in a protector. Surely anyone who would even think about coming close to cause you harm would reconsider under his harsh look.

You start to wrack your brains for what he can actually do for you. Again, you have no familiarity in having personal protection, beyond what you've seen your mother undergo. Your work is fairly stable, you keep the same routine, and the biggest threat you ever seem to face is the creeps in the club. 

Well, apart from the online threats, but something about the anonymous, cowardly messages doesn't frighten you. 

"If I'm being honest,I don't exactly want a bodyguard. I don't see much of a point?" You admit, voice a little quiet. After all, you don't mean to upset or offend the man, but you're not sure he isn't just wasting his time with this job.

He squints, considering for a moment before he answers. "Yer maw sees things differently." 

She does, and that's probably the only reason you agreed to go through with this in the first place. You don't want to worry her, especially since her own security has had to be tightened due to said threats. 

"Yeah, she's really worried." 

John's brows furrow, a small frown appearing on his lips. "Aye, rightly so, considering everything." 

He seems serious and said severity gives you pause for thought. His job is to assess and protect against threats, so surely he wouldn't be here, acting the way he is were there not a valid reason for concern. The thought makes a lump form in your throat, makes your stomach twist in a way you'd rather not acknowledge. 

You try to cope with it the best way you know how—humour. 

"Eh, online threats are nothing new for a girl my age, you know? And it's not like I'm anyone important." You shrug it off, hoping that if you say the words aloud, they'll just come true. As you speak, your phone chimes with a notification from your group chat, reminding you of your upcoming plans—and the fact you're going to have to abandon this little meeting. "Uh, I'd offer you a cuppa, but I'm leaving soon." 

"Don't drink it anyway, but thanks." The man smiles slightly, before turning away once more and scanning the room. He cranes his neck to get a look down the hallway, leading to your bedroom and bathroom. "There's a difference between lads online, an' the kinda people that make up extremist groups like those targeting your maw and her party." 

"Really?" You laugh, a short, sharp sound that betrays your discomfort. You grab your jacket and keys by the door, desperate for something to fiddle with. "Thought they were all just sad loners, desperately searching for something to make them feel better." 

"Except some of them have connections, dangerous connections." 

There are a million and one reasons you don't want to go through with this, and very few urging you to. Though, removing a major worry from your mother's life is a big one—John MacTavish's gorgeous blues are another. The possible invasion of privacy lingers in your head, the worry that your father might be using this as an opportunity to have the inside track on your life, on all the things you don't tell your parents. Your mind also revolts at the idea of unnecessary restrictions to your plans, your friends being held under a magnifying glass. 

The thought of the threats being real is the only thing more startling. You sigh, resigning yourself to your fate. "If this is what will help her feel better, then I guess I better find a way to make this work." 

He nods firmly, joining you at where you hover nervously at the door. "I'd agree." 

"Unfortunately, you arrived at the worst possible time, because like I said, I'm just headed out. Can't miss the tube." You force a tight-lipped smile, making your excuse to leave—the thought of being late makes you jittery, the thought of being late continuing this difficult conversation makes you feel worse. 

"Where ye going?" He asks, head tilted. 

You know it's the first question of many. Where are you going? Who are you going with? The atmosphere already feels a little stifling, the relationship a little strained. You and John aren't friends, never will be friends. He's here to do a job, watch over you, and take your security very, very seriously. 

"This is how it's always going to be?" You ask, the question coming out a little snappier than you intend it to. 

John takes it in stride, unblinking in the face of your shortness, and yet unrelenting in his need for information. "Aye." 

Once more, you sigh. "Right... I'm going to my weekly DnD game at my friend's house, and please, I really don't wanna cancel." You plead, feeling like a child reasoning with their parents rather than two adults on equal footing. You hate the feeling, even if you know his intentions are pure. 

"How many friends?" He asks. 

"4." You answer instantly. 

"How long have ye known them?" His questioning continues, and his focus on the people you trust naturally drives you up the wall, even if again, you know it's just his job.

Your grasp on your keys tightens, your agitation growing. "I'll tell you whatever I can some other time, but please, I hate being late." You gesture to the door, indicating that it's time for him and you to leave. 

John grabs the door, opening it for you and allowing you to step through before he does. As you turn to lock the door, you expect him to arrange another time and to bid you farewell, but he doesn't. "I'll drive ye. Dinnae bother arguing, lass." 

His words have a finality to them that quiets you anyway, but the use of 'lass' renders you all but speechless. 

"Okay..." You mumble, leading the way down the stairs as his hand comes to ghost along your lower back.

MacTavish’s vehicle is parked out in the street, and as you approach the car, you can feel his eyes searching again. He beats you to the car, a sleek black Range Rover, opening the door for you before climbing inside himself.  

The action would be nice under any other circumstance, and such propriety is something you're probably going to have to get used to, but right now it just reinforces the annoying, infantilising feeling that you're currently suffering through. 

As you give your friend's address to John, he takes off without another word, flicking on the car stereo before he goes. The atmosphere is thick, stifling, and you can only hope that in time the feeling will lessen, especially if your mother makes him a permanent feature. 

On the way over, he picks up his questioning where he left off. "So, how long have you known this group?"

"A good few years, since uni." 

"We can go over names and details when you're ready." 

You take a deep breath, holding it in and then forcing yourself to calm a little. Instead, you try to focus on watching John, the diligent way he drives. "I'm assuming you have a long list of things we'll need to go over."

His eyes don't stray from you. "Aye, that we do." 

The two of you fall into tense silence for the rest of the drive, nothing but the music and the sound of the car to keep you company. In the quiet street your friend lives on, John pulls in to park on the opposite side of the road, killing the engine and the radio, making the silence almost deafening.

Your nerves are getting the better of you again, and yet John seems so comfortable, unperturbed by the awkwardness. You're unsure what comes next, what to say. 

"Not to be rude but, I'd prefer if you didn't come in." You utter, saying the first thing that springs to mind, despite it probably not being the best thing either. You flash the man an apologetic smile before you continue. "I don't know how to deal with all this, especially when we haven't agreed on how all this is gonna work?" 

You hope your earnest admission makes up for your temporary ill-manners. 

"Tha's fine, I'll stay here." He looks completely impassive. "Not ideal, but it'll do." 

He doesn't look bothered by the inconvenience, and you suppose you should assuage him of the idea it's going to be a quick visit.

"Really? I'll be gone for a few hours." 

His brow quirks. "Yer maw paid upfront, so as far as am concerned, my job's already started." Once more, his statement is absolute, and you don't bother trying to argue.

"Right then." 

John is out of the car first, headed straight to your side of the door, checking left and right before he opens to let you out. 

The action makes you both laugh and curse, perplexed by the deed as you climb out. "You're not my driver, you know you don't need to open the door for me?" 

He laughs too, derisive and short as he closes the door a little too sharply. "Not tae be rude, but I believe the words you're looking for are 'thank you'."  

"Gonna walk me to the door?" You ask, trying to shed yourself of your nerves and make the situation lighter. 

You can't stay tense and subdued for the entire duration of this relationship—besides, now you're moments away from reuniting with the others in Albion Vale and forgetting all about this mess for a few hours. That alone is enough to raise your spirits. 

John forces a cheeky, tight-lipped smile, the crow's feet at his eyes crinkling almost condescendingly. "Not feeling tha' gentlemanly anymore. I'm sure ye'll be fine." 

"I'm sure." You make your way halfway across the road, before coming to a realisation, stopping and turning. "Oh, what's your number, you know, make this whole thing easier?"  

John darts out, his arm falling just beside you as he ushers you across the road and onto the other side.

"Pass yer phone." He says, holding out a large, rough hand expectantly. 

"Right, yeah." You nod, probably more than is necessary, as you pass your phone over to the man. 

John takes the phone more softly than you expect, typing in his name and number before holding it back out for you to take. "I'll be here when yer done, to take ye home." 

"Uh, thank you." You take the phone, before walking away sheepishly heading into your friend's block of flats and toward her apartment. 

With each step you take, you try to push John and the threats and everything to do with the outside world far, far out of your brain. 

The night passes by in a flurry of laughter and fun, lost in the adventures of Albion Vale and the antics of your party. 

The session wraps up, and while you would usually be in no rush to head back—you know you can't sit around and leave John, however much a stranger he is, sitting in the car outside. 

You text him to let him know you're headed down in five, and when you make it to the street less than 3 minutes later, he is there, leaning against the car door waiting for you. 

"Thank you." You whisper, climbing inside. When John joins you in the car, he scrubs at his eyes before putting the key in the ignition. "Have you not been bored out of your mind?" 

"Nothing I'm not used to." He replies instantly, pulling away before you can ask any further. 

"What did you do before this?" You ask, curiosity getting the better of you. 

From your understanding, most bodyguards cut their teeth in the police or the armed forces, and have tonnes of experience under their belt.

John oozes an ex-forces demeanour–his perfect posture, constant alertness, and the scars littering his skin. 

It'd be hard not to notice, but becomes immediately obvious with the way your eyes seem to love settling upon him when they can. You have to force yourself to squash down the drunken, misguided lust that flares within you as you watch his large hands on the steering wheel and notice his veiny, hairy, and muscular forearms. 

"Army, Captain." He answers, pulling your attention back to him in a more professional manner properly. 

Something within the way he speaks makes you think there's more to the story—though you suppose with that kind of background, he has a cache of secrets and tales that he can never really share.

"Oh." You nod, feeling a little soothed. If you have to be protected, you suppose someone with his level of experience is the best man for the job. "I'm in good hands then." 

Once more, he flashes a forced half-smile. "Aye."

A moment passes, and you find more questions bubbling to the front of your brain. Naturally, you're curious about this man who is undoubtedly going to become a big part of your life from now on, but the fact that his nature is a little reserved makes your curiosity multiply. You've long been a sucker for closed-off older men—call it a character flaw. 

"Why did you leave the army? If you don't mind me asking."

There's a beat of silence where you think he might not answer, but eventually, he does, eyes still fixed on the road. 

"Medical reasons. Nothing that affects my ability to do this job." He rushes to add, a slight spark of defensiveness flashing through as his jaw visibly tightens.

You're no expert detective, and you haven't seen your protector in action, but your first guess is that whatever ailment made him leave isn't entirely physical. The fact he's been somewhat open about it puts your mind at ease, the fact that your mother has clearly vetted him even more so. 

You offer an empathetic smile that he likely doesn't see. "I don't doubt it." 

The drive home passes quicker and easier with a bit of mead in your veins, allowing you to loosen up enough to hum along to the music playing from John's speakers. The little buzz passing through you alleviates that sense of trepidation you felt earlier, luring you into a false sense of security. 

When the car pulls up and John lets you out, you know just what to say what needs to come next. "Well, I guess you should come in so we can formalise things." 

"I'd appreciate it." He nods, before turning back to the car to grab a bag and follow you into the building.

 *

You and John sit at your kitchen island, tea in your hand and coffee in John's—a neat, stapled stack of papers sits before you.

"Here's the contract I signed with ye maw, but she's given us some wiggle room." John says, tapping the top of the paper where the bold letters of CLOSE PROTECTION AGREEMENT — 141 SECURITY sit. 

"Nice of her to allow me a say, if I'm honest." You laugh dryly—you love your mother dearly, but you'd be lying if you said she wasn't overbearing. Your initial protests about this whole arrangement had been entirely shut down, and clearly, she didn't trust you to follow through considering she sprung John on you tonight, unannounced.

"I'm sure she just wants what's best for ye." John offers as you flick through the pages.

The contract outlines the agreement between the Guard and The Principal—with stipulations on activities, compensation, and conduct. 

It's weird seeing it all laid out on paper, seeing the hefty cost of John's services, and the fact you'll be giving this man free access to your home and life. All of this to keep you safe from some nebulous threats that have not even been acted upon.

"She does, but this is inconvenient, and frustrating to say the least." You purposefully choose not to include the words 'fucking annoying' and 'torturing me with a hot man I can't have', though your next conversation with your therapist will absolutely include such descriptions and more. 

"I can understand tha'." He nods understandingly, before raising his coffee and taking a sip—his gaze unwavering as he does. "You've never had close protection before?" 

You shake your head. "No, this is all new to me." 

"Okay. We'll start by discussing exactly what kind of protection you're looking for. Part of tha' will be dictated by what yer maw laid out, like I said, we can decide specifics." 

"Sounds like a plan." You lean back in your stool, tea in hand as you contemplate. Admittedly, you should have done some research before this, but in your defence, you did think you had more time. You're not entirely sure what boundaries you can set—but you hope that John can lead the process a little. "I don't think I can do something 24/7, and it's not like you can stay here, I guess."

You cringe internally thinking about how fucking awkward that would be—your tipsy brain supplies the image of the world's most uncomfortable sleepover. 

In your imagination, John looks grumpy and uncomfortable, still tucked up in bed in that stiff shirt with his boots still on. You are, of course, in little fluffy bunny pyjamas staring at him all gooey-eyed whilst he tries to pretend everything is normal. It takes conscious effort for you not to giggle at the mental image.

"I understand. I'd suggest I escort you anywhere outside these four walls, day or night, work and social events. Conduct security checks on your flat, vet close contacts, update your digital security, things like tha'." John supplies a rundown of potential actions like it's a grocery list, yet a very severe grocery list. His collected nature does put you more at ease.

"Sounds a tad invasive." 

"I'll try to make it as little as possible." 

"Thanks, I appreciate it." You smile slightly, truly thankful for his consideration and tact.

You give John a once over, thoughts once again ticking over. "If you're going to be with me everywhere, you can't walk around like that, outside of my work, that is. No offense, it's just, all my friends are gonna think I'm a self-important twat if I start showing up everywhere with some posh bodyguard." You stop abruptly, realising how much you're bloody rambling.

"Am far from posh. But, more casual look then, aye?" 

You smile a little nervously, hoping you haven't completely offended the man. "Please." 

This whole situation is beyond difficult to navigate—untreaded paths, forging new relationships, balancing existing ones. Your friends really are going to think this whole situation is beyond bizarre. They already find amusement in seeing your mother on the news. Having a bodyguard is going to leave you subject to endless teasing, relentless mocking, and attempts to make your and John's life a whole lot harder.

Your head falls into your hands as you rub at the sockets of your eyes, undoubtedly smearing your makeup and making a mess of your face. It'll get easier, you reassure yourself.

With your eyes closed and pressed into the heel of your hands, you don't see the way John's expression softens or the way he moves closer to comfort you before hesitating and stopping short. "Wha's the matter?" 

"I'm just... incredibly anxious about how this is going to play out with my friends, with work." 

John leaps into problem-solving mode, immediately pulling from his brain some words to soothe you, as well as making note of what bumps in the road to smooth out. "Ye mother said she already consulted yer work, and they're fine to make accommodations." 

Of course, she'd already talked to David about the whole thing. "So it'll be fine aside from all the gossip it will cause." 

"It's politics and I ken yer not naïve, everybody's talking anyway, no?" He offers, and yet you don't seem assuaged, so he tries a different tactic. "It's my job to blend in. They'll barely notice me." 

"With that haircut? Sorry." You giggle—surprisingly you find the mohawk suits his rugged look, but it certainly isn't something you've seen on a man that wasn't walking the streets of Camden. Though, even with a more fitting haircut, the man is so casually striking and ever so slightly imposing that he just naturally draws attention. "In general, you don't strike me as a man who does blending in well, not in civilian life anyway."

His eyes narrow for a moment, before he struggles to fight off a smirk. "Hmm, ye might have a point. Not changing ma hair though, sorry. Nae sure ye family has enough money for tha' one."  

His more playful side makes your heart soar, and gives you hope that everything might just be alright.

"I have a crazy idea." Okay, maybe you're more tipsy than you thought you were, as your brain supplies an outlandish plot and your mouth runs away with it. 

His eyebrow arches and his eyes sparkle with intrigue. John MacTavish seems like a man who likes crazy ideas. "Go oan." 

"I'll tell my friends that you're my boyfriend, and we're just so madly in love that you have to come everywhere with me. Means no real questions." 

Your proposition is met with deafening silence, despite the huge, encouraging grin on your face.

John laughs, just the once, before his expression hardens. "Not a chance, lass."

"Why? You don't have to really do anything. Besides, it'll save you sitting outside in the car, or staring from the shadows and making everyone feel uncomfortable." 

You realise now that while you noticed a distinct lack of a ring, there's the possibility that John is still attached, and what you're suggesting is wildly inappropriate—but it's not that point he argues on.

"Aye, so I just have to spend ma time socialising instead." He scoffs.

"Well, surely you're not brooding and mysterious all the time." You wager.

Once more, he finds a smirk tugging at his lips that he can't hold back. "No' at all, but it's been a long time since I was the life of the party, and something tells me that me an' your DnD friends don't have a lot in common." 

"They might surprise you, but you also might surprise yourself. Maybe you're a secret nerd." You wink, still being jovial before you shift back to your genuine pleas. "It'll make my life a whole lot easier and be one less thing for me to stress about. My friends wouldn't second guess the story much once they got past the shock of me bagging someone older, wiser, and oh-so-handsome. Please."  

You flash your softest, sweetest doe eyes and lay the compliments on extra thick in the hopes of swaying him. In the political world, you're used to using charm to try and get what you want, and know that without charisma you'd get nowhere. Perhaps it's a bit low of you to stoop to using flirtation on someone who could likely run rings around you when it comes to negotiation, but it's worked before, and at this point, you're desperate.

John straightens up in his seat, eyes you for a moment, and then lets out a heavy sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine." 

The fact he relents honestly takes you a little by surprise. You're relieved, but yes, surprised. "Huh?"

"Fine, I'll be whoever ye want me to be..." The look in his eyes shifts to something imperceptible, as he leans over the counter closer to you. "As long ye listen to what I say when it comes to yer safety and security. Deal?" 

He holds out his hand, and your own feels dwarfed when you reach out to take his calloused palm.

"You drive a hard bargain, John MacTavish. Deal." You shake, and neither of you makes a move to immediately let go.

"Aye, a know." He winks, and the action makes your heart skip a beat, your cheeks flood with heat.

Each second passes slowly, his touch feeling like too much and not enough all at once. You know at that moment that life from now on is going to be especially difficult as long as John is around.

What he says next is the final nail in that particular coffin. "Would've done it anyway, but glad I got ye to agree to ma terms, lass." 

[wordsbyrian]

Short: The Call - USWNT x Reader

Summary: Y/N gets the WWC call up facetime from Vlatko while being weird and it devolves from there.

A/n: One of my silly ideas finally completed. That's 3.75 of 7 fics from this poll completed/posted.

One of the biggest moments of your life and you go and fuck it up by being, well yourself.

It's not like you didn't know to be expecting the call. It's just that you weren't expecting it to be a facetime in the middle of the day on your day off.

Which explains your state of… disarray, so to speak, when you fumble to answer the phone, not looking at the caller ID.

“Hello,” you grunt, placing your phone back on your desk at an angle so you can continue your process.

“Hey, Y/N,” the familiar voice of Andonovski rings out in the room. You can hear him pause and take a deep breath before he speaks again, “What in the world is on your head?”

You all but freeze when you hear him and his question makes you slowly raise your hands and remove the over large mask you're wearing.

When you do, you’re unsurprised to see Vlatko staring at you waiting for an answer.

“It’s a Sontaran head, sir,” you say nervously.

“A Sontaran head?”

“It’s a character from one of my favorite shows,” you explain, “there’s a convention coming up and… that’s not important. Is there a reason you're Facetiming me?”

“Well, I wanted to see the look on your face,” he says.

You’re still holding on to the Sontaran head, clutching it to your chest as you begin to realize what this call could possibly be about.

“I just needed to let you know that you’ve been selected for the World Cup roster.”

You’re sure the look on your face resembles that of a fish, mouth wide and gaping while your eyes stare unblinkingly as you try to process the information you’ve just been given.

You’re going to the World Cup.

You.

The World Cup.

You’re so shocked that you have to double check that he really meant to call you.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Vlatko says, “Unless you would rather not come along.”

You answer very quickly, a sharp no shooting it’s way out of your mouth.

“No,” you repeat, “I definitely want to come, thank you.”

“Alright then we’ll see you at camp in a few weeks.”

“I’ll be there.”

Vlatko congratulates you once again before saying goodbye and ending the call, leaving you sitting there holding your Sontaran head with only 2 thoughts on your mind.

The first being that you need to call your older sister and tell her.

And the second is that you really hope the facetime wasn’t being recorded by the social media team for one of their weird projects. It seems like the type of thing they would do and if your teammates saw this you would never hear the end of this.

You weren’t so lucky.

Because just over a week later, you’ve been forced into a meeting room with the rest of the girls to watch videos that you now know are of everyone getting called up.

Kristie, Lindsey and surprisingly Kelley cry and Trin looked like she had been in the middle of a run. But there’s nothing as odd as you answering the phone with a glorified potato head on.

And well the teasing has already started.

“So, Y/N,” Kelley sys, sliding up next to you, “When do you plan on having us take you to our leader?”

Before you even really get a chance to respond, Sonnet appears on your other side pulling you into a headlock.

“Before you answer that we need to know the secret to defeating you,” Emily asks.

Rolling your eyes, you pull the older woman’s hands off you while answering, “I could tell you but you would just use that information to bully me.”

“What?! I have never bullied you a day in either of our lives.”

“Well there was that time you convinced her that the bus had left her behind and let her run all the way to the training field,” Kelley says.

“Or the time that you let me believe that,” Sonny cuts you off.

“Ok so maybe I have in the past been a little mean to you,” Emily groans. “But! But, I do actually want to know more about it. You said it’s from your favorite show, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t know about your favorite show?” “Friends don’t need to know everything about each other,” you tell her walking away.

2 weeks later, the day before you’re set to fly out to New Zealand for the World Cup, your nap is interrupted by someone pounding on your room door.

Opening it up, you’re surprised to see Emily and Kelley standing there, a laptop in hand looking distraught.

Before you even have a chance to ask them what's up, Kelley all but shouts in your face.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Uh, what?”

“Why didn’t you tell us that your nerd show makes you fall in love with the characters only to make them leave in the most heartbreaking ways,” Sonny asks, shoving the laptop into your chest. “Everytime you start to like a character, they get rid of them!”

Still shocked, you can barely stutter out a response.

“I genuinely have no clue what you guys are talking about.”

“It’s not right,” Kelley is shouting again,. “Rose, lost in another universe. Martha, just up and left because she couldn’t take almost dying every day. And the Doctor had to wipe Donna’s mind to save her life! It’s not right and it's not fair.”

It finally clicks.

“Oh man, you guys are in deep huh?”

“And we have so many questions.”

“Come on in, nerds.”

[byzantiumshades]

Pairing: Lee Jeno (NCT) x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff/Smut

Contains: Kissing, body worship, dry humping, swearing, dirty talk, hair pulling

Word count: 3345

A/N: With a special dedication to @sexygrass, I hope you'll like this version of cute 'n' sassy Jeno 😉

---

“The final assignment’s gonna be easy, my ass,” you murmur angrily, trying your best to focus on the book in your hands.

Despite the fact that you’ve been sitting there for over half an hour, not much progress has been made in your reading. If only this was the area of your interest, surely you wouldn’t be bored out of your mind, but well, it’s not.

“Why me,” you groan dramatically, throwing your head back against the backrest of the sofa.

It’s not like you didn’t expect it to be difficult – you did, actually – but it doesn’t make you feel any better now that you have to finally start working on it. Not to mention that you constantly complain about all the work you have to do, and this certainly doesn’t help your motivation.

“You don’t seem to be very into it," you can hear Jeno laughing from the bathroom.

He must have heard your whining all the way from there.

“No shit,” you scoff in the answer, as you roll your eyes good-naturedly.

Trying to work at your house proved to be impossible, as everything there distracted you: there was always something better to do than reading that goddamned book. When in the morning you video called Jeno to complain, he suggested coming over to study together, as he had an exam the day after tomorrow, and you agreed.

“We can motivate each other this way, you know,” he exclaimed with the sweetest of smiles, causing your heart to skip a beat.

That’s when you realized that you’re fucked. Desperately trying to escape one distraction, you’ve happily thrown yourself right into the muscled arms of another one. Maybe you should’ve thought about it some more before giving him a positive answer, but at that moment you were way too busy thinking about how pretty his brown eyes appear in that lighting.

“So, what exactly are you doing?”

Jeno’s voice makes you jump – lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice him approaching you.

“Reading, or rather trying to–,” you manage to say before you look up, and the words die on your lips.

He’s standing a meter or so away from you, a warm smile playing on his lips, as he’s waiting for your answer – at this moment it really hits you how fucked you actually are.

It’s all because of your tardiness – you’re not exactly the type to arrive on time, and Jeno is no stranger to that fact. There’s no wonder he simply assumed that he didn't need to be in a rush when he came back from his training – he thought you’d be late. This time, however, you arrived exactly on time, only to catch him still walking around in his sweaty gym clothes. A bit flustered with the turn of events, he asked if you mind giving him some time to clean up and change, and you, of course, agreed without a second thought. You were completely lost at this point, enchanted by this flustered mess of a man. You should’ve known better than to think that this is going to turn out fine, really.

“Trying, huh?” he chuckles, his long fingers pushing damp locks from falling into his eyes.

You don’t know where to look. Would be awkward if he caught you gaping at his muscled chest.

“Y–yeah, I’m trying really, really hard,” you answer rather nervously.

You’re trying to control yourself and not let your eyes wander, which is a crazy difficult task. From the corner of your eye, you can see droplets of water falling from his hair and rolling down his chest: slowly travelling down his muscled abdomen until they reach the waistband of his sweats and soak into the fabric. He’s saying something, but you can barely focus, as you’re too busy gaslighting yourself into ignoring how hot your best friend looks right now.

“You’re not listening to me, are you?”

“Pardon?” you question with an apologetic smile, trying your absolute best to ignore your dirty thoughts.

To be frank, falling for your best friend is, in your opinion, the worst possible option in terms of catching feelings for someone. You can’t even pinpoint when it happened and what exactly caused you to become infuriated with him. Was it his weird sense of humour and that joyful laugh of his? His respectful behaviour towards you? Or maybe it’s all about his handsome face? You can’t tell – all you know is that there’s something about Jeno that causes your brain to turn into a mush whenever you need it the most.

“This book must have tired you out more than I thought it would,” he chuckles good-naturedly, walking towards the table where his laptop is placed.

Moving some papers to the side, he settles comfortably on the chair, and then opens the device.

“You’re clearly out of it,” he adds over his shoulder with an amused smile, turning the laptop on.

You, on the other hand, are not as amused. You’re no stupid, you’re just stupidly in love with this irritatingly handsome man.

“Of course I am,” you say, tongue-in-cheek. “You really expect me to stay focused, while you’re walking around half-naked, huh? Might throw some t-shirt on, you’re distracting me, Jeno.”

Jeno turns around slightly, and stares at you, his brows furrowed: a perfect picture of disbelief. There’s something in his expression that you can’t exactly put your finger on, but it appears to be a hint of sadness, or even regret.

“Not that you have a bad sense of humour or something, but this joke isn’t funny at all.”

Now it’s your time to be surprised, as you blink quickly trying to process his words.

“I’m not joking, though,” you say, puzzled a bit by his reaction.

“You saw me without a t-shirt countless times already,” he hums, scratching his neck as if in wonder, but you know that in his case it’s a sign of embarrassment. “What’s the difference? I didn’t think you’d care that much.”

It’s your turn to furrow your brows now. It does affect you quite a lot, actually, he just doesn’t know that.

“So you think that it doesn’t affect me that you walk around me basically naked?”

“Please,” he scoffs, turning around back to his laptop to type the password in. “It’s not like you’d like to fuck me or something.”

Your mind goes blank for a second, the wave of heat immediately hitting your cheeks.

“What are you saying?” you chuckle nervously, your heart pounding rapidly in your chest.

Jeno glances over his shoulder, clearly not understanding the reason behind your awkward reaction. He clears his throat before adding:

“Doesn’t really matter what kind of attraction we’re talking about. It’s pretty obvious that you don’t think of me as someone attractive.”

First of all, you can’t believe your ears, and second of all, you’re starting to feel a little hysteric. You take a deep breath, and put your book to the side.

“You think I’m not attracted to you,” you say matter-of-factly, trying your best to keep the tone of your voice neutral.

“Exactly,” he shrugs in the answer, not even turning around, too busy checking something in his notes.

Your heavy sigh is a little dramatic, you have to admit, but you’re done, just done with this man. Either you’re an absolute pro at hiding your feelings, or he’s just a lost cause in terms of noticing what’s going on around him. You don’t really suspect yourself of being that good of an actress – you know very well that your self-control is in pretty bad shape when you’re around him.

“You’re such a fool, oh my god,” you groan helplessly, standing up from the sofa.

Two big steps is all it takes to reach him.

“Excuse me?” he dramatically turns around, clearly offended by your words.

A quiet gasp escapes his lips when he realizes that you’re now mere centimetres away from him, invading his personal space in a way that causes a shiver to run straight to his crotch. His breath hitches slightly when you gently grab him by the chin and tilt his head back so that he’s staring up at you.

“Look me right in the fucking eyes and say it again. Say that I don’t want to fuck you.”

Jeno opens his mouth but doesn’t say a single word. The longer his dark eyes bore into yours, the deeper the flush on his cheeks gets. When he licks his lips nervously, your stare drops unceremoniously for a second before you slowly raise your eyes to meet his gaze once again.

“Cat got your tongue?” you ask with a raised brow, your tone deeply amused.

He tries to shake his head, but your grip makes it almost impossible. His Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows audibly, and you don’t even try to stop yourself from touching it. The fingertips of your free hand caress his skin tenderly, and you can see that he’s barely breathing at this point.

“You see, Jeno,” you hum as your fingers move up his neck, brushing over his prominent jaw, down his neck to his collarbones and bare shoulders. “All this time I thought that I was so goddamn obvious that you purposely pretended not to notice my behaviour.”

“W–what?” he stutters out, his voice a bit higher than it usually is.

How the turn tables, really. You didn’t even do anything to him yet, but he’s already reacting in such an adorable manner. Jeno is truly delightful.

“Turns out that you simply can’t see shit, and that’s it. No other reason behind it except for obliviousness,” you scoff, shaking your head slightly.

“I–I don’t think I understand,” he murmurs, blinking innocently at you, his long eyelashes brushing his cheekbones.

“You think that I wouldn’t touch you even with the tip of my finger, no?”

This time he tries to nod, but once again the grip on his chin prevents him from doing so. It’d be too easy to answer this way – you want him to use his words, you want him to state clearly what he thinks and what he wants.

“Um, well, yes,” he answers then, the tone of his voice way less certain now.

You can’t help but huff a laugh in the answer. In the meantime, the fingers of your free hand comb through his still damp hair, and it truly feels marvellous to do so. You wanted to play with his hair for such a long time now, imagining more often than not about how he’d sound if you just pulled on them – so you decide to do exactly that.

“Think again then, babe.”

You let go of his chin, and grab a fistful of his locks, pulling his head back.

“Oh fuck,” Jeno whimpers in the answer, his gorgeous neck on full display now.

Once again, you have no idea where to look but for entirely different reasons than mere minutes ago. He’s just so stunning, and you can’t stop staring at him.

“You see, if I had the opportunity to do so, I’d have fucked you senseless plenty of times already,” you hum, your thumb grazing his lover lip teasingly. “I’d make you fucking scream my name.”

His breath hitches audibly, causing your core to clench deliciously. Seeing how responsive he is to your words, your actions, makes you hungry for more. You want him so badly.

“You can’t even imagine what I’d do to you if you just let me, Jeno. You make me go crazy,” you breathe out, leaning forward until your faces are mere centimetres apart. “All this time, I thought you’re not interested in me, and that’s why I never took the first step. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“I didn’t know,” he sighs, closing his eyes as your nails scratch his head gently. “You never reacted in any way to me, I just thought that you don’t see me that way.”

“Such fools, both of us,” you murmur, pressing your lips against his forehead.

A moment later you place another kiss between his eyebrows, then one on the tip of his nose, and on both of his eyelids. You’re dying to kiss every millimetre of his body.

“Do you want me to sit on your lap, Jeno?”

Your lips brush his when you whisper the question, and he opens his eyes, sending you a stare full of emotions. You can see the want in his dark eyes, clear as the day, and a shiver of excitement runs down your spine.

“Yes, please,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching towards you to pull you closer.

As you settle on his thick thighs, his arms circle your waist tightly, holding you as close as he dares to. Judging by his carefulness, he’s still unsure of what’s going to happen next, but he’s clearly not opposed to whatever you’re planning to do. You can’t help but marvel over the wonderful feeling of being in his arms, your body pressed tightly against his. Your breast touching his bare chest, your crotch pressed against his, faces in such close proximity – you can barely think straight. In this position, you can feel his hardening cock through the fabric of his sweats: it’s not completely hard yet but clearly on the high road to be fully erect, and your mind is already in the gutter, thinking about all the possibilities.

“Such a nice lap to sit on,” you say with a smirk adorning your lips, your hips rocking ever so slightly against his.

There’s a mischievous spark in his eyes just before he says:

“Actually, there’s nothing that’s stopping you from settling yourself on them more often.”

Jeno might be flustered as hell right now, there’s no mistake about it, but that sure ain’t gonna stop his sarcastic side from showing. You can’t help but smile widely in the answer, knowing very well that he has a point now that you’re on the same page.

“Glad to know,” you say before gently pressing your lips against his.

You were imagining that first kiss countless times already, but your imagination can’t compare to the reality of his plushy lips moving against yours, the feeling of his strong arms pulling you as close as possible. At first, it’s delicate and slow, but it doesn’t take long for both of you to lose your resolve. The kisses become more hungry with time, all tongues and teeth, his hands wandering all over your body, your fingers in his hair. Soon you’re both completely breathless, and have no choice but to pull away. Your body feels way too hot, and there’s nothing you’d wish for more than to take off your clothes, to feel his skin right next to yours without any barriers.

“I wanted you for so long,” he rasps, panting heavily. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you when we weren’t together, and when we did, it was even worse because I couldn’t be with you the way I wanted.”

You kiss him again and again and again, grinding your hips against his already hard cock, making him moan into your lips. The friction created by the fabric, and the hardness of his shaft, sends little bolts of pleasure through your body. Jeno’s right hand slips underneath your t-shirt, his fingertips delicately tracing patterns on your skin, while his left hand lands on your thigh, moving up towards your butt and down again.

“Jeno,” you sigh, when his fingers brush your breast ever so slightly. “You’re such a tease.”

“Didn’t you already know that,” he answers with a broad smile, his hands touching you everywhere they can reach.

“I suppose I knew,” you chuckle in the answer, shaking your head slightly.

What a perfect combination: easily flustered, and such a sweet man, but with a sassy side, a little bratty even.

“One of the reasons I’m so attracted to you,” you add, your hand slipping into his hair to grab it once again, gentler this time.

“Another one is that gorgeous neck.”

Jeno’s laugh turns into a soft whimper, when you place a kiss just under his ear and start to slowly move down his neck, one kiss at a time. It makes you feels so good that you’re the one making him moan quietly right into your ear, causing his cock to twitch underneath you with such simple actions as kissing his neck, whispering sweet words into his ear.

“You’re such a pretty thing, you know,” you pant out, nibbling on his earlobe.

The way he smells drives you absolutely crazy, and you love the way his soft hair tickle your face ever so slightly. Gorgeous.

“God bless women’s bodies aren’t as traitorous as men’s, otherwise I’d have been utterly fucked a long time ago,” you say with a small chuckle, licking his skin as your fingers rake through his tangled locks.

“What?” he chokes out, his hands now clenched tightly on the fabric of your t-shirt, his breathing heavy.

“You can’t even imagine how aroused I can get just from observing you simply being yourself,” you murmur, peppering the skin of his neck with kisses. “Only I know how many times I’ve got off to the memory of you cooking a diner for me shirtless.”

“Seems like I should do that more often then,” he hums, placing both of his hands on your hips.

“Wonder what would taste better: my cooking or me.”

“Good question,” you laugh, your mind already being flooded with the images of Jeno cooking for you, and you licking tasty things off his skin.

You start to slowly but steadily rock your hips against his, searching for the best angle to get off. When you finally find it, a jolt of pleasure runs through your body, and you sigh his name softly.

“My name sounds so pretty when you say it,” he murmurs into your neck, his lips, tongue and teeth all over your skin.

“Since today, I’ll say it as often as you want me to,” you moan, your head falling back as he starts to massage your breast through the fabric of your t-shirt.

The sounds of moaning, panting and curses fill the room, as the humping becomes more and more aggressive, both of you getting closer and closer to your release. The seam in the front of your pants rubs onto your clit just the right way, especially with his hard cock pressed against it. It feels wonderful to finally be in such a situation with him.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum into my briefs because of you,” Jeno moans, but clearly he doesn’t mind that.

“Next time, I swear to god, I’m coming right into your pussy,” he pants into your ear.

The image that forms in your head pushes you over the edge, and you come hard. While shivers run through your body, Jeno holds you strongly, bringing you even closer as you lazily move your hips, riding your orgasm. You can’t tell for how long you’ve stayed like that, but you sure took your time.

“I think I’m the one whose underwear is ruined now,” you sigh into his neck, when the aftershocks die out, and you can feel your drenched panties in all their uncomfortable glory.

Jeno laughs softly, such a beautiful sound feeling your ears. The feeling of his thick biceps pressed on either side of your waist is certainly something else, and you know that in the future his arms will receive a lot of your attention.

“I’m not sorry at all, but I’ll happily help you take your panties off,” he says, his hands massaging your butt and thighs.

“And the rest of your clothes too, of course. Let’s not forget, I have a promise to keep,” he whispers into your ear, placing kisses all over your head.

You can feel your core clenching in delicious anticipation.

“Indeed, you’ve made a promise,” you answer, a smirk forming on your lips.

“And I promise that I’ll make you scream my name, Jeno baby.”

His cock twitches at that.

“Can’t wait.”

Copyright © 2020-2024 by byzantiumshades. All rights reserved.

[peotego]

Unconditionally | James' POV

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Black!reader

Summary: Unconditionally but from James' POV.

Warnings: some swear words, Sirius being an ass in the beginning, my English? (since it’s not my first language)

Words: 3,5k+

Masterlist

In James Potter’s life, there was only one girl.

The only girl he ever had eyes on.

Oh, how he loved to look at her smile or laugh with her friends. How he adored the way she would throw her head back when he told a really funny joke. How absolutely and utterly in love with her he was.

He sometimes looked at her as if she was the one who hung the stars and the moon herself. As if she was the ruler of an old kingdom and he was supposed to serve her night and day. She was the first person he thought about in the morning and the last one in his mind before going to sleep.

But she was also his best friend’s sister.

She was untouchable.

And James Potter was seriously fucked.

He remembered when he first thought about her in a non-friendly way. It was quite soon when she stopped being just a buddy he would hang out with and started being the girl.

It was shortly after the Christmas break in their first year. (Y/N) and Sirius were already on a train and he came in late. (Y/N) was wearing a black dress and that was the first time when James noticed she was actually a girl. Of course, the girls in Hogwarts were wearing skirts as the uniform required it but James never paid a mind to it. However on that very train at the beginning of January, he noticed that one of his mates was a beautiful girl.

He didn’t know what to do with those feelings so he tried talking to his best friend about it.

A bad idea, right? Since his best friend was also a brother of the girl he was developing feelings for.

”Sirius, we need to talk”

”What’s up, mate?” Sirius was lying on his bed mindlessly playing with some spells he read about. Remus was in the common room trying to read a book and Peter was nowhere to be found.

”I think I have a crush on this girl” confessed James. That caught Sirius’ attention as he smiled wickedly.

”Really? Who is she?”

”It’s (Y/N)”

”(Y/N)? As in my sister (Y/N)?”

”Well, yeah”

James looked at his best friend expectantly. He did expect a piece of advice on what to do with those feelings or how to act on them. What he did not expect was the outburst.

Sirius was angry, furious even.

”James, she is my sister, you can’t have a crush on her!” Sirius stood from the bed and looked at James in shock ”She is my sister!” He repeated ”She is off limits for you. If you ever try to pursue her, it will ruin our friendship! Imagine what would happen if things didn’t work out between you two. How am I supposed to pick sides? What would you expect me to do? Side with you? Because I couldn’t do that! She is my family and I would have to pick her over you! Do you really want to ruin our friendship like that? Does it really mean that little to you?”

”Sirius, calm down” James panicked ”It’s just a stupid crush, it will pass”

”It better do, James, because we’re gonna have a big problem”

For a few days, James avoided (Y/N) like a plague. He was only eleven years old and he really thought that by acting on his weird feelings he would completely ruin his friendship with Sirius. It didn't help that by saying "we're gonna have a big problem" James thought Sirius implied he would beat him up.

James would not only lose (Y/N) but also Sirius. So he tried to get over it.

*~*~*

But in their third year, he still had those feelings. He was still crushing on his best friend’s sister. And he was truly terrified.

He started to hate those butterflies that appeared whenever (Y/N) was in the same room, whenever she talked to him, laughed with him, or touched his shoulder.

It was so obvious that Sirius picked on it and started a very serious talk with his friends one night.

”Guys, gather up, we need to talk about something very important” Remus looked at James and raised his eyebrows as if James knew what it was all about. Potter only shrugged his shoulders. When all three boys gathered close to Sirius’ bed, Black started talking.

”You’re probably wondering what is this all about. So let me explain. Birds told me that one of you has unconventional feelings for my sister. Look, I get it. (Y/N) is amazing. She’s smart, funny, kind, and she’s got this incredible smile that can light up a room. Believe me, I know, I live with her. Guys, respect the boundaries. Falling in love with my sister can complicate our friendship and put my sister in a tough spot, and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable or pressured in any way. I want you all to know that I appreciate you guys. We’ve got each other’s backs, we’re like a family. I want to trust you and I want to know that you won’t hurt my sister. Let’s keep the love we have for (Y/N) as sisterly as possible and keep our romantic interests directed somewhere else.”

”What?” Asked Peter when Sirius ended his little TED talk ”Who has a crush on (Y/N)? Is it you Remus?”

”Doesn’t matter” said Sirius quickly ”Just promise me, all of you, that you will never ever fall in love with my sister”

James stared at his best friend in disbelief. He felt betrayed, slapped in the face. What was he supposed to do other than agree to Sirius’ madness?

”Well, I can promise you that,” Remus said as the first one of the group.

”Me too” added Peter.

Sirius looked expectantly at James as the other two of their friends also looked his way. So as not to look suspicious, James shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

”Yeah, sure, I have my eyes on a different girl, I think she’ll be the future Mrs Potter” James lied. It was so easy to do so that he was surprised himself.

”Oh, yeah? Who is she?” Sirius didn’t believe him at all, he still remembered the conversation they had in their first year, and he still remembered the way James looked at his sister with lovey-dovey eyes.

”It’s… Lily Evans!” James himself was surprised when he heard what he had said. Lily Evans was one of (Y/N)’s friends, they were inseparable, always sitting together, laughing together, or whispering about some secrets during dinner. It was an obvious choice. Simple.

”My, my, James” Sirius smirked ”Then we have to ensure you go on a date with Evans soon!”

From that day forward James Potter pursued Lily Evans, even though he never liked her as more than a friend. But he wanted Sirius to stop being suspicious of him.

So he declared his love for the redhead girl the next morning to the whole school.

*~*~*

As years went by James’ feelings for (Y/N) only grew stronger. Each encounter with Sirius’ sister became an exquisite torture, a stolen sip from a well of emotions. He observed her, like a creepy stalker.

In the deepest parts of him, James harbored an affection, silent and concealed, a love he knew was not his to claim. He was a prisoner of this affection, torn between loyalty to his best friend and the magnetic pull of his heart towards his best friend’s sister.

When during one party in their 6th year Marlene suggested a game of Spin the Bottle, James was excited. That was his way to steal a kiss from the girl of his dreams without Sirius growing suspicious of him. It was only a game after all, right?

But when Remus mentioned that he shared his first real kiss with (Y/N) Black, James saw green. He sulked in his seat sending daggers into his friend’s back. If looks could kill, Remus would be long dead by now. And when he got to be the first one to kiss her in the game, years later, James’ angry fist hit the floor a little too much which made Mary look at him with a smirk.

As the game progressed James became more desperate so without his friends knowing he enchanted the bottle when (Y/N) spun it so it would definitely land on him.

He watched as her eyes went wide with the realisation of who she was supposed to kiss and James was scared for a minute that she would choose to tell the truth and drink instead of kissing him. But she didn’t. And he couldn’t be happier.

Her demeanor quickly changed and she smirked wickedly while saying ”Two out of three. Better get ready Peter”

Sirius shouted something about this whole situation being disgusting but James paid no mind to him. He was definitely too drunk to care. Slowly he got up from the place where he sat on the floor and made his way to (Y/N). When he positioned himself before her, he looked deep into her eyes and, oh Merlin, how he loved those eyes. Those eyes held the power over him. He marveled at the way they sparkled like stars in a night sky. He loved the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, how he could read her like an open book only by one look.

James put his hand on (Y/N)’s cheek and leaned into her. When his lips crushed on hers James could swear he saw fireworks. And when she kissed him back with just as much force he could only smile into the kiss. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth while she grasped his shirt trying to bring him closer. Oh, sweet Merlin, James could only dream about a moment like that. When (Y/N) bit his lower lip he couldn’t help but moan.

James tried bringing her closer to him if that was even possible, but his drunk self had too much strength and they fell to the ground, (Y/N)’s body under his.

”That’s enough, Prongs, it’s my sister” Sirius’ strong arms pulled James from (Y/N). Potter couldn’t help himself and grimaced but luckily Sirius didn’t see anything because he helped his sister get up. The only person who saw his face was Lily as she smiled at him knowingly.

*~*~*

That same night when the girls went to their dorm, Sirius started a conversation.

”How is it, Prongs, that you’re supposedly in love with Evans but couldn’t get enough of my sister while kissing her, hm? I thought you two were gonna have sex right in front of us”

”Padfoot, please, stop it already. We talked about it in our third year”

”Yeah, I remember, but I can’t shake the feeling that you lied to me”

”Padfoot…”

”He’s not wrong, James,” said Peter getting ready for bed ”You two looked very… comfortable”

”Horny, Wormtail, the word you were looking for is horny” added Sirius. ”See? I’m not the only one seeing this!”

”You’re all delusional. I’m going to bed”

So the next day during breakfast James shouted how much he loved Lily Evans even though it wasn’t true. And Evans kinda looked disappointed.

*~*~*

When the summer break between their 6th and 7th year at Hogwarts came, Sirius and (Y/N) spent it at the Potters. And while James couldn’t be more happy about it he was also angry that his best friend tried to be everywhere with them. Sirius wouldn’t leave (Y/N) and James alone even for one minute.

So when Sirius felt sick, James tried to twist the situation to his advantage and asked (Y/N) if she wanted to stargaze with him.

”Jamie, your father wants me to marry you,” she said unexpectedly and James felt shivers run down his spine. He would kill Fleamont Potter for his big mouth later.

”What?!”

”Yeah, crazy, right? He thinks I’m your mystery girl”

Because you are and he knows it, thought James to himself.

”Oh, and what did you tell him?”

”That it’s definitely not me. That I know the girl you have a crush on and he said that we’ll see”

”I have no idea why he said that, I’m very sorry” After what she said James thought that she wasn’t interested in him in any way. He needed to protect his own heart. So he distanced himself.

”No big deal, Potter”

While James was sulking and drowning in his own unrequited feelings, (Y/N) suddenly spoke again.

”James”

”(Y/N)”

”I’ve been thinking about you and Lily for a while”

What?

”Oh?”

”Yeah. I think she doesn’t deserve you”

That’s interesting, thought James.

”How so?”

”You see, Jamie, you’ve been trying to get the girl since we were thirteen years old and she’s still not even slightly interested in going on a date with you. She’s always laughing at you, turning you down. I don’t think that’s very good for you. I get that you’re in love with her but maybe you should start thinking about yourself a little bit?”

A stupid, stupid heart that started to beat faster. A glimmer of hope appeared inside of James.

”What do you mean?”

”You deserve the world, James Potter. You deserve a girl who will be madly in love with you. You deserve a girl who will love you unconditionally. You are a good guy. Sure, you have your faults. We all have them. But you should be loved the way you love other people - wholeheartedly. I don’t think Lily is the right girl for you. I'm also not saying you should do whatever I’m telling you right now. I just believe you should think about it a little bit and decide if it’s even worth it. Because you, James Potter, are definitely worth it and it’s her loss if she cannot see that”

If James Potter was confused before, imagine him in that moment. (Y/N) Black made no sense to him. She said that he should look for a girl that would give him all the love he deserved but she didn’t see that she was the girl he already loved.

So James did what he always did when he was confused. He joked.

”Wow, Black, do you have a crush on me or something?”

”You’re also an idiot” She slapped his shoulder and just like that they got back to where they started - to being just friends, which James hated by the way. "I’m your friend, I just hate to see you struggling so much."

”You are a good mate, (Y/N) Thank you for always looking out for me”

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

He didn’t mean to say it.

But what are you supposed to say to the girl you love when you’re not sure if she harbors the same feelings for you?

He gently took her hand In his and interceded their fingers. How he longed for that to mean more.

”Always”

*~*~*

After that conversation, when their 7th year began, James Potter promised himself that he would do absolutely everything in his power to convince (Y/N) Black that they were meant to be. So he stopped pursuing Lily Evans and after a long talk with her, when she advised him to just stop listening to Sirius and finally get the girl of his dreams, he began thinking about his master plan.

James Potter did everything a boy romantically interested in a girl would do, at least that's what he thought. He always sat next to her in classes, and he partnered up with her which made Sirius angry, he sat with her in the library and just watched as she was doing her homework, he walked her to her classes even when they had different ones and it meant he would be late to his.

So when the time came in October, when the Marauders’ prank was planned to happen, James was excited. He was the one who told the Ravenclaw prefect to be in that specific corridor at that time, he even paid him to be there. So when he started to chase the group and Remus suggested scattering, James paid no mind to anybody else while he grabbed (Y/N)’s hand and dragged her to the broom closet nearby.

And in that broom closet, he was finally able to confess his feelings. When (Y/N) said she reciprocated his feeling he couldn’t help himself.

But then the realisation came and James was mortified.

If he thought that the conversation with Sirius Black wasn’t going to be a big problem, he must have been an idiot. He had the girl of his dreams but he was scared to death with the thought of losing his best friend. In all of his master plan, James Potter didn’t think beyond the moment of saying ”I love you” in the broom closet. He wouldn’t dare to dream about (Y/N) reciprocating his feelings.

So now he had a problem.

(Y/N) and James dated in secret for a month while James thought about how to break the news to his best friend. (Y/N) only laughed at his imaginary scenarios because she thought her brother wouldn’t have that big of a problem.

She was right, Sirius Black grew up since they were all thirteen years old.

But James Potter was still scared.

”Padfoot,” said James looking in the direction of his best friend. Sirius was lying on the bed just like he was six years ago when they first talked about it. Remus was reading a book nearby while Peter was looking franticly for his Transfiguration essay. ”I need to talk to you”

”What’s up, Prongs? You have an idea for our next prank? Because I think (Y/N) mentioned something about invading Slytherin common room and painting it red and gold and I would love to do that”

”No, but it does concern (Y/N)”

”I'm all ears ten”

”Remember when we first talked about me having a crush on your sister when we were eleven?”

”It was you?” Shouted Peter surprised ”I literally thought it was Remus who fancied (Y/N)”

”Shut up, Wormtail. James is going to say something important. I remember. Go on, mate” Sirius tried not to smile. He knew already. (Y/N) told him but he patiently waited for his best friend to finally confess.

”And remember when you came up with that stupid rule when we were thirteen?”

”Yeah”

”And remember when I said I fancy Lily Evans then?”

”I think we all remember”

”I lied”

”I know”

”I’m madly in love with your sister, Padfoot. And I’m sorry, I really tried to get over her so as not to ruin our friendship. Merlin, I tried so hard but it’s impossible. I believe she’s the love of my life, mate. I want to make her happy, I want to be the one she smiles at, I want to tell her all the jokes just to hear her laugh, I want to marry her one day. That’s why I’m sorry, Padfoot. Because you are my best friend and I didn’t listen to you, I went behind your back, and lied to you for a month. But I'm not sorry for loving your sister. I believe (Y/N) is the one”

There was silence between the four of them for a while.

James looked as if he was about to die, Peter looked at his best friend with wide eyes, Remus tried to cover up his laugh behind a book, and Sirius… Sirius was staring at his friend without showing any emotion.

”What time is it, Wormtail?” Asked the Black heir instead.

”Um, it’s almost midnight, why?”

”And what day is it?”

”November 29th?”

”Moony, my dear, pay up”

”What?” James was surprised. He expected screaming, maybe a hex or two directed at him. But Sirius was completely calm when he grabbed a few galleons from Remus.

”You see, Prongs, I already knew. You weren’t very subtle over the years. I suspected something but you always insisted you loved Evans so I waited, patiently may I add. And finally, you broke down. I expected you would do so in our 7th year somewhere close to the end of November, Moony said that’s impossible and opted for the end of our 7th year. Prongs, I just won a bet thanks to you.”

”You’re not mad?”

”Well, you see, I would be mad if we were children. But we grew up since that time, mate. I feel weird knowing that you’re snogging my sister but as long as you’re both happy, it’s fine with me. Just don’t hurt her cause then I would be obliged to hurt you too. You know, because I’m the older brother and so on”

”I don’t intend on hurting her, Padfoot. I want to marry her”

*~*~*

Just like James Potter said, he actually did marry (Y/N) Black two years later. And Sirius gave the most hilarious best man’s speech everyone has ever heard mentioning that he always knew these two would end up together (to which Remus screamed ”NOT TRUE” so loud that Peter fell from his chair).

A year later, they all attended Sirius and Remus' wedding.

And only a few days later (Y/N) found out she was pregnant. James couldn't have been happier, and Sirius shouted something about being the best godfather on the whole planet.

When they all decorated the nursery, James could only smile. With his best friends by his side, the love of his life sleeping soundly in their shared bedroom, and the baby soon to be born, he had everything he ever dreamed of.

And all was well.