#gay friendship

[julianitoss]

Casually ironing some clothes in front of my curious friend. Looking wasn’t enough for him.

Casualmente planchando ropa enfrente de mi amigo curioso. Observar no fue suficiente para él.

[gabriel-lovex]

Relax, take it easy 😘

[mclennonlgbt]

ULM vol. 3 is back on YT - with some additions!

These are the additions I noticed:

John's statement about George (I think from Lennon Remembers) that he wouldn't buy his album, that ATMP means nothing to him, and that George should be grateful that he could learn from John and Paul.

The addiction of John and Linda's performance of "Love in strange" in the background when the song "Bless you" sounded with the line: "Love is strange".

Excerpt from a 1975 interview with John in which he says he wonders what Paul thought of his performance of "I Saw Her Standing There" at Madison Square Garden.

The questionnaire, in which John described Paul as extraordinary, Bowie as thin etc., was supplemented with pictures.

The ending (which kinda broke my heart).

[remembertheplunge]

9/22/1989

I watched an interesting movie called “Alien Nation”. It was about extraterrestrials called Slags and the prejudice earth people showed towards them.

Slag

Fag

Flag

Fag

Flag

Fag

(Get it)

I’m feeling kind of like a Slag—flag—fag tonight.

John in court over a straight attorney we know’ head asked “what can I bring?” (I had invited he and his lover Al to my house for the next night). I said “You don’t need to bring anything”. John said “I’ll bring flowers”. The straight attorney looked startled  “flags!”

Who else heard? John is being very up front about the fact he will visit my house.

Maybe the others should know.

And, It’s funny how easily I can resolve ethical issues regarding John.

When you are on a sinking ship, everyone is equal. “Flags” in Modesto are necessarily on a sinking ship.

End of entry

[lgbtq-archives]

𝐆𝐚𝐲 𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞! | 𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐧 𝐋𝐆𝐁𝐓𝐐+ 𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐲

[respirationalactress]

Monday night/ cancer new moon/ at 4:30am my dog cried for the cold

A mental block I have RE starting a blog is - what if I have nothing to say? And I rarely do, in the way that I never write; but I always do, in the way that I'm always talking. But I want to be writing, and I've listened to like 5 episodes of This Jungian Life pod recently, so I'm making a dream analysis blog in the hopes that my nonconscious dream mind will prompt the things that my hyper-conscious writing mind is too stage-frightened to type. An aspirational writing practice.

I was on a camping trip with my family, and I went to the top of the hill, where there was a servo. A delivery boy, a teenager, drove up to me. He had a parcel for me, but he was confused by the name. He was reading the company name, Vevoke. I didn't really care about the package, it was something for my old workplace, but I thought the kid seemed nice, so I asked him to show me around the town, and he did. I asked, don't you have more deliveries to make? He shrugged, no, I only had two or three deliveries today, and I get paid by the hour so I may as well take a while.

I had a nice time driving around with him. I could tell he could tell I was queer, and I felt an affinity with him, like we both knew that if two gays could randomly find each other in front of a small town servo and drive around some streets together in the afternoon then... idk, anything would be possible etc. It was nice. I dropped him off near the servo and went back down the hill to where my family had set up camp. It turns out my brother knew the kid somehow.

This is bringing up for me a queering the map flavour of nostalgia. The kid in my dream wasn't anyone I know in real life, and it's not the first time I've created friends in my dream. Often I create people I crush hard on, but this time I had a more maternal, maybe even fraternal feeling towards him. It's interesting that the character was so specifically a teenager who could drive and had a job. These were things I wanted when I was young and living in a small town. In comparison, there is a very specific mention of my old job in the dream. I'd just had dinner with a friend from that job in the irl hours before the dream, and we were talking about our boss, a deeply repressed, deeply misogynistic, trenchantly evil older gay man. I remember once he shouted "FUCK THEM IN THE ARSE" in a meeting, after hearing we got a leg up on our competitors. As someone relatively new to arse-fucking at the time, I felt so angry that a gay man would evoke it as a kind of capitalistic, domineering... man thing. Now I feel sad for him. Maybe he really does think anal sex is so abhorrent; maybe he and his partner only treat each other like mates until the lights are off, until they're drunk?

I like that in my dream I wasn't needed as some wise person who could help the kid step into his queerness or figure anything out. Being gay was never even talked about. In fact, it was the kid who had something to give me, in the form of a parcel, which I didn't really care much for except for that it brought us both into a presence with each other, where the presence and normalcy of a tension free gay friendship is what was needed. I think about this in the context of the pressure I feel by my desires to mother a child, to let them grow up with the whole freedom of their own self. I think about this in the context of the anger I felt at my dog, crying at 4:30am in the cold, crying for the heat of a proximate body, not needing me to fix anything, just needing me.

I dream of a world where young gay kids only have a few things to do as they cruise around town, where they can run into other queers and not feel the shame drilled into them push fear and blood into their faces, push them away from remembering the world at the top of the hill, the world that their bodies promised them, which was always theirs, to make echoes, to befriend, to arse-fuck in........

P.S. We need to save Colleen Ballinger's brother's dancing child.......

P.P.S. God save my little brother, a sparkie who has always somehow known about the gayness.

[cakezfordayz]

First post here. Hope it's good.

[mencaptures2]

[offbrandtoaster]

As an incredibly awkward gay man, I recently (like... over the past year or so) befriended a not so awkward gay man, and goddamn that has done amazing things for my mental health and self perception. Having someone to occasionally reality check your ass who actually understands where your insecurities comes from is so nice lmao.

Like, I still have a ways to go in my own journey, but for the first time in a long time I at least feel like it can move forward again some day, and that's nice.

[mclennonlgbt]

Graham Nash and David Crosby kinda sus

Same energy:

Also, Joni Mitchell stated in her biography that she felt like Nash left her for Crosby.

Why aren't people shipping them??

[captainzigo]

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[your-gay-grandma]

date your friends - by which i do not mean you must literally date your friends but by which i mean go out to dinner with your friends, buy your friends flowers, tell your friends you love them, write your friends love letters, play your friends songs that make you think of them, help your friends with moving and doctors appointments and listen to their worries and joys. love one another so entirely and i promise the world will feel so much brighter and you will have a community full of love

[ayo-edebiri]

It sounds like the perfect movie

[remembertheplunge]

The conservative, hateful, ant-gay 1980's

July 21, 1986. Monday

I love this  open, new life style. Friends pound on my door and stop by. I met a guy tonight, Mark, from North Dakota and Minneapolis. He has slept with 3000 men. He started off with a blonde, tan Hawaiian beauty 10 years back. To my 4 or 5. Oh well. But, with aid’s, he’s slowed to zero I guess.

Julie and I had a good, long talk about many things, including the emptiness of one night stands. Greg stopped by. We reaffirmed our friendship and I felt true, good friendship. Steven called. We’ll get together next Wednesday at 9;30 for a drink at Face’s. 

July 22, 1986

Julie came over tonight,. Pleasant open talk. Julie told me “Hey, don’t say you’re gay—you are a person like anyone." That kind of good, open discussion is so refreshing. Makes me so happy.

Met with Steven and his cute 23 year old lover George, who was very upset I fear. Good talking with Steven. He is concerned about the conservative, hateful,  anti gay 1980’s. He said that his cute 23 year old is totally into the material. He wouldn’t even see “Parting Glances”.

The reason: He didn’t want to see anything that might deal with “the negative”, like Aids.

We jointly agreed the art in life is accepting it as it is.

July 24, 1986

Quick note only: Dinner at Nancy's. Nice. Met her sister , her sister's husband, and their kids. Nancy is like Shirley MacLaine in her relationships with married men.

Note:

Faces is a gay bar pavilion that open in  the Lavender Heights district in Sacramento in 1985. It is still in operation. It has several dance floors, bars and even a swimming pool!

Julie was a friend I met when I first moved to Sacramento in 1986.

Charlie became a lawyer and soon after died of AIDS.

Parting Glances was a 1986 movie playing in theaters when I first moved to Sacramento in the Summer of 1986. It dealt with gay relationship in the time of AID’s.

Shirley MacLaine is an actress. She has starred in many movies.