#genuinely honest to god in love with him he makes every single day better

[sga-owns-my-soul]

not to be disgusting on main but my partner does this thing when he sleeps where he has to be as close to me as possible and when i get out of bed when he's asleep i come back to him being fully on my side of the bed (often with his arm half off the bed) like he's looking for me in his sleep and i'm gonna fucking melt i'm so goddamn in love with this boy

[zombieunicorngamerzu]

(Astarion x fem reader)

[Warnings - love confession, P-N-V, cream pie, lovemaking, marking, claiming, soft dom Astarion, sub reader ]

“How many times do I have to tell you Astarion, no!” You snapped for the upteenth time at Astarion’s desperate attempts to accept his advances, but not because you didn’t like him, it was actually the opposite… you loved him. That’s why you were trying so hard to keep him away, you were growing dangerous and unpredictable with the tadpole in your brain, it manipulated you into doing dangerous, evil things, and you were terrified of your impulses that you were getting weaker and weaker to control by the day. You were turning into a monster.

“Why not?!” He cried out with a usual fit, “Is it me? Because I really need to know if this is you just trying to play hard to get or if you genuinely hate me, it’s getting hard to tell, dear!” He waved his hands in the air in a defeated gesture, his expression softening slightly as he stepped closer, his tone softer, “Is it me?”

You looked at him with such a pained expression, you were so conflicted, so scared, you knew he wouldn’t give up unless you blatantly rejected him and even then he still might keep trying, but that wasn’t even it! You loved him… but you couldn’t risk hurting him, even if that meant loosing him In a way, and you knew if you told him what you actually thought he would never give up, but hearing him voice his insecurities of himself… thinking he’s the problem… when he’s not, nor could he ever, it broke your heart to see the look on his face as he awaited your answer. “No Astarion, it could never be you, there’s not a thing wrong with you that i dislike…”

“Oh don’t go and do the whole “it’s not you it’s me” phrase, don’t make ME feel guilty just because you don’t like the man I am, or what I am… just be honest if your disgusted by me, if you don’t trust me, if you fear me, but DO NOT LIE TO ME!” He cried out in a rare moment of vulnerability, he’s had this built up for as long as he could, but now he’s finally broke, “I’ve had enough of that in my life…” he spoke out so softly, his head drooping down as he frowned, trying not to tear up or let his voice crack. Gods… he loved you so much he would tear out his own heart right now if that’s what he needed to prove it. “Please Y/N… just give me a chance, I swear… i-i can change, I can be a better man, I-“ you had to cut him off.

“Astarion, enough!” You couldn’t bear to hear him speak like this, you didn’t want him to change, he was perfect. “I don’t want you to change a single thing about yourself…” Those words themselves seemed to shock him, his head leaning back just a little with a stunned, puppy dog-like look before he spoke, “Well then what is it?! Here I am bearing my heart and soul out to you and you just say, no? Without an explanation, I-I need more than that!” You were staring to tear up at this point, just dropping your head with a heartbreaking sigh that he caught, stepping closer as he took your hand, “Darling please… speak to me, whatever it is… just tell me and we’ll deal with it, together. I can handle whatever daddy issues or baggage you may have so just blurt it out!” He chuckled wearily, but he was concerned overall for you seeing how much you were struggling, he realized this was something more.

“I-I’m changing Astarion…” you spoke out with a shaky tone, your lip quivering as tears started to fall down your cheeks, “And I’m scared, I’m turning into something… dark, I can feel it growing every day, and I’m terrified I’m going to just- loose control, I-I feel like a monster, I don’t even think I’d realize if I was already one, but I can’t risk hurting you, killing you…” you spoke out your fears with such honesty, such vulnerability, you just decided to be honest, maybe you could console him and convince him to leave you after you voice your concerns. “Darling, you are far from a monster.” Astarion scoffed, chuckling as he leaned his head back, motioning his hand towards himself, “Y/N, if you are a monster… I-I must be… Lucifer reincarnated, the embodiment of evil! And even if you were a monster I would still love you, hell- if you start to get all growly and nippy, I-I’ll tie you up and feed you squirrels to sate your bloodthirsty hunger!” He blurted out making you burst out a few giggles through your tears, making him smile with pride at making you laugh.

He stepped closer again, inches from you as he rested his hands on your shoulders to rub soothingly, “Was this really all it was, just you scared to… hurt me?” He scoffed with a gentle tone, he was surprised and just dumbfounded. You just sighed and looked up into his eyes, such a beautiful brown, and the gentle expression on his face, the slight head tilt as he awaited your answer, it made your heart flutter at how gentle he was being. “Astarion, what if I-“ he put a finger to your lips, cutting you off, “No more what ifs. Do you love me?” He asked bluntly, staring into your soul with such a look of determination, he would not give up on you, no matter what. You lifted your eyes to meet his with a pained expression, quiet because you knew you did, you knew if you said yes, he wouldn’t never let you go, but if you said no, you know he would know you were lying, you both could see how much each other cared for one another, the amount of times you’ve come close to death just to have the other race to each others side with such fear in their eyes that the other would die before either of you got the chance to just confess your undying love.

“You know I do…” you nodded with your honest confession, making him smile with satisfaction, cupping your chin in his hand before he pulled you closer, “Then that is all I need to know, I get to choose how I live my life… not you, I get to make the decision to stay, to love you, I’ll deal with the consequences myself.” He spoke with such passion before tilting your face up, his face inches from yours with his eyes locked on yours, “Now may we stop this torturous foreplay and make love already?” He smiled so adorably, tilting his head, “May I kiss you and make you mine, love?” Those words made your heart beat alive you swore and all you could do in that moment was nod as the last few tears fell down your face, meeting him in a passionate love-felt kiss.

Astarion’s arms wrapping around you protectively to cradle your body closer as he deepened the kiss, his hand cupping the back of your head and only pulling back when you needed air only to pick you up with a smile, your legs wrapping around his waist as he spoke, “Now, my love, I’m going to take you back to my tent, no- OUR tent now and make bedbreaking love to you until the entire camp knows your… mine…” he growled out those last few words possessively before carrying you back to his tent, it was daybreak, making his skin have a golden glow, his silver hair looking lightened by the dying sun, you were relieved, scared, anxious, but surprisingly, you just knew it would all be okay.

As he laid you down on his bedroll, Astarion did his very best to be caring, gentle, kind, and most of all respectful as he carefully stripped you bare of your armor, kissing every inch of bare skin he revealed, starting with your neck, then your shoulder, then down your arm, the back of your neck, down your spine… until every article of your clothing was off so he could admire every inch of your body, his voice husky as his eyes grazed over you with adoration and affection, “My love, your… gorgeous, ethereal, breathtaking…” he moaned out huskily with a whine as he helped you to lay down, tilting his head as he gazed down at you, knelt between your thighs still fully dressed in his white tunic shirt and black leather pants that were now a little strained around the nether regions due to you did he start to strip for you, pulling his shirt over his head to reveal his pale skin and rippling abs, his chest rising and falling quicker with his excitement that was also shown between his thighs, straining through his pants he wanted to rip off for being in the way of him and you.

But he couldn’t wait, having to lean down in just his pants to kiss you tenderly, now that he had you, he just didn’t want to part from cherishing you even for the little time it took to undress himself, he just needed to feel your love, your touch, he waited long enough, “Help me, my love, please…” he whimpered out against your lips with a desperation, making you nod through breathy moans and breathes as you slid your hands down to unbutton his pants, shoving them down so he could kick them off, revealing his generous length, he was perfect, not too girthy or large, but just right, and so so pretty, his tip a angry pink and already dripping pre-cum for you, he was throbbing and impatient, but he was restraining himself. Astarion wanted this night to be perfect, not just lust. Love. He wanted to love you. To make slow and passionate love while worshipping your body to greater lengths then you’ve ever had, he swore in that moment to protect and cherish you for all off eternity, Gods be damned.

“I love you, Y/N, monster or not.” Astarion whispered out as he hovered over you, his arm holding him up as he guided his other down to his length to press his tip at your soaked entrance with a pleasured growl, gently pressing in until you gasped from the intrusion, making him still so you could adjust. He brought his hand up next to caress your cheek, leaning down for another deep kiss to distract you as he pushed in deeper slowly, making you arch with a whine against his lips at being filled, the stretch felt so good, and due to just how gentle he was being with you, it only made you wetter, you’ve never seen Astarion like this, so serious, so passionate and caring, so sincere… but as he started to slowly move, gentle thrusts accompanied with his deep breathy moans and various kisses littered across your collarbones before he dipped down more to suck one of your nipples into his mouth, making you gasp and arch, threading your fingers in his hair to tug which only made him groan with pleasure and nip at your nipple before thrusting a little harder in return, making you moan out loud.

The pleasure and passion only burned brighter as the time went on, Astarion focused on littering your skin with Marla of his claim as he pumped his cock inside you with a mission to claim you as his own, his eternal love… you both were matching each others moans, your thighs wrapped around his waist as he pounded into you, getting you closer and closer to your release which he could feel building with how your walls were pulsing around his cock, it made him gasp and moan, his hands pushing your knees up to your chest before he started to thrust more intensely, his focus on making you cum, getting his pleasure from your whines and cries as you sung such a pretty song for him. He could feel your slick coating his cock, watching his cock as is disappeared inside your tight wet heat repeatedly, it was enough for him to shutter and tense, moaning out loud, “L-Love, I’m close, please… ugh… cum with me, my love!” There was no way you could have held back with Astarion begging you with that breathless tone and stuttering thrusts, you felt his cock throb inside you which only made you shutter and moan with a nod as you placed your hand on his chest, gasping and arching as your eyes squeezed shut, crying out as your walls clamped down on his cock, covering his length with cum which only made him moan so passionate and loud with no shame, “Yes, darling, good girl! Cum for me, cum all over my cock, god! I love you!” He cried out, falling over you before wrapping his arms around your waist, thrusting sloppily before moaning into your ear as his orgasm hit him, his cock throbbing before his cum spurt deep inside you, filling you with his seed as he panted and groaned, his hands lazily stroking your lower back, his voice softer as he came down from his high, “Your mine…”

(Now I’m a lesbian… but this man makes me question myself…)

[museandwords]

worship in decay ( bucky barnes x reader)

Warnings: female!reader, dubious consent, lots of alcohol consumption, mentions of casual sex, addiction mentions, the avoidance of genuine feelings, foul language, self-destructive behaviors, self-hatred?, self-esteem issues, parent issues, childhood trauma, bucky is no saint, but he tries to be a good boy, mentions of mental health, this will be expanded on per chapter.

Author’s note: this was affectionately nicknamed the hoe fic. i have been working on this for the better part of the past two (three?) months. im still adding, re-writing and editing a lot of the chapters. so far i have 7 chapters planned, though this may change as it's expanding by the second. weekly updates are planned, and to be perfectly honest this is just self-indulged and an ode to the sluts. please validate me, feedback is welcome. also sorry i've been gone for so long (i got married)

MINORS DNI! 18+ ONLY

PROLOGUE 

You don’t know why you do it. 

You suppose you could put the blame on your absent father, or the degradation and restrained hatred your mother held for you. You remember being that small child – begging for their love. 

Now you find it in the hands of strangers. 

Maybe you could blame it on the liquor that burns your throat and melts the ice off your bones and paints the world in some rose-coloured hue.

Or maybe (and this is the part that scares you most) you’re just truly a despicable human being, in which all of the ugly parts of your parents made you whole. 

You try not to think too much about that. So you find comfort in the warmth of bodies, the hunger in kisses, the worship of strange men that bring you closer to God than any religion could. 

At the end of the day; human beings are mammals at their core, it’s a dog eat dog world, and you’re starving.

‿︵‿︵ - - ‿︵‿︵ 

Waking up in the 21st century initially shook Bucky to his core.

American culture had fallen into a frenzy of degeneracy that could’ve made James Buchanan Barnes cry. 

But he wasn’t James Buchanan Barnes anymore, he was something else.

And he was already desensitized to the dread of the world thanks to the recollection of his own mental house of horrors.

He just couldn’t believe there were more people like him.

People who are more desperate, self-serving, and shameless, he notices. He feels right at home with them. 

That debauched urgency to chase a temporary high to replace the self-hatred even just for a little while was something he and these kinds of people shared. Addicts, the depraved, the lost, the broken. 

Let them say Bucky Barnes was their king. 

He's learned quickly that being brainwashed and kept on ice for the past 70 years really took a toll on his libido, go figure. He’s like a damn teenager full of raging hormones wanting to stick his dick in anything that moves. Now all he craves is the warmth of a human, living breathing body beneath him while their essence fills the holes in his soul. 

What surprises him more is that they let him. They let his blood stained hands all over their silken soft skin, they let his rotted essence into their core, infecting them, tainting them, over and over, and they enjoy it.

His teeth graze their neck, and they should be scared that the Winter Solider could rip their throat out in a millisecond.

Instead, they coo and sigh and hold onto him tighter. It's addictive.

He loves them, every single one, for one reason or another. 

This one makes pretty noises in his ear and smells like candy, that one has a beauty mark beneath her left eye and can make him laugh, those other ones look pretty in sundresses and make him breakfast in the morning.  They all give him something, things he never knew he needed. To be adored, taken care of, loved.

[euryleli]

I don't think anyone from the byers-hopper family is going to die!

I would love to hear more about your theories regarding this subject if you really think there's an actual chance of characters like Will and El (or even Jonathan) dying in st5 - because from where I stand, I just... can't see it happening!

It doesn't make sense to me for a number of reasons!

First there's Will: a closeted gay teen from the 80s living his WORST life in smalltown, Indiana. Will, a boy who has been bullied his entire life not only by his peers but also by his own fucking father - all in the name of this inherent otherness he carries that's been associated with his queerness since episode 1 from s1!! The boy that's always described as kind, honest and sensitive - the little kid who changed the world of every single one of his loved ones with his absence. William Byers, the boy who went to hell, spent a week there and then came back all wrong, slowly losing his identity because he was fucking possessed by this otherworldly creature - who was burned out of him, mind you AND the after effects of his frolicking in the upside down for seven days straight and late possession by freaky monster #1 led to a connection that haunts him TO THIS DAY!

THEN (because it can't get better) we have stranger things season 3 and 4 where will byers gets beaten time and time again by forced conformity, internalized homophobia and, of course, the usual supernatural Horrors that we're all acquainted with (and that have a canonical narrative connection to all the issues previously mentioned but wtv)!

Ur telling me that this boy who hasn't known A SINGLE DAY OF PEACE in his LIFE (because Will had it bad before the upside down), who's the only confirmed gay character (as of now) AND the one who doesn't believe he can or even deserves love?? Is going to die??? This boy is not gonna have his happy ending? Will Byers, the starting point of this whole story is gonna be used as a pawn to... what? Further develop a straight relationship that actively hinders the arc of the female main character (El)? His death is gonna "complete" his arc and we'll deal with another case of the "Bury Your Gays" trope? Mike's character is gonna be buried alongside Will then because if his ending is one of conformity then all his actions throughout the series make no god-damned sense - basically he's just an asshole and an awful fucking friend? What the actual fuck??

So... Will dies, saves everyone but leaves Joyce and Jonathan completely heartbroken? Even when their love for Will is what kick-started the whole show? The show started with us rooting for them to find Will and they did!

But oh... wait... he died lol

It doesn't make sense, narratively speaking.

"What about El, then?" you ask!

Look, I'm slightly scared for her too but I genuinely think they're not gonna kill her off and the main reason is Hopper. What's the point of having Hopper grieve Sarah, his first daughter who tragically dies at a young age from cancer, just to make him start coping with her loss, bonding with El - actively viewing her as his family - to then take that family from him A SECOND TIME?? WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT?

Aside from El's arc and her development as a young girl who was robbed of her childhood and sense of self for so long finally coming into her own person (not Hopper, not Mike, just El), killing her off is an efficient way to ruin not one but TWO of the most beloved characters in stranger things.

Having either Will, El or both of them dying in the finale would be a tragedy and yes, stranger things has it's moments where everything goes wrong and people die (and stay dead) but...

It's not supposed to be a tragedy.

That's not the kind of show we're watching.

Hell, you can say that they're going to kill the other family members then! But I don't see them killing Joyce or even Jonathan (although I can admit I'm not fully confident on that last one) because - again - it defeats the whole purpose of the show and Hopper came back from the dead already, the duffer brothers are not gonna kill him AGAIN (El grieving her father a second time is just as bad as Hopper grieving Sarah, then El)

The Byers are the heart of the show and sure... stranger things s3 and s4 kind of lost the plot on that front, but we're definitely getting back with willel and their final arcs in s5 (their family, now with Hopper and El, will be heavily featured in their development)

So, yeah...

Stranger Things is, fortunately, not a tragedy - and considering the love I have for all the characters (especially the Byers-Hopper) I can't say I'm upset about it.

[becca-e-barnes]

Hey lovely! I love your work so much honestly you’re absolutely amazing! I was just wondering if you’d ever write anything for sbf!bucky again? I re read your work about him all the time and I’m a little bit of a whore for him 😅 no pressure whatsoever, it’s just that sweet baby has my heart 🥺

Sbf!Bucky has been really heavily requested recently and now I feel like I've been neglecting him 😩 I really enjoy writing him and it lets me dabble in my dream of being a milf some day

But I feel like he has a real sweet tooth. He's a dessert guy, 110%. Not like your husband or your son.

From the very first Sunday that your son brought Bucky over for dinner, he's been so into your desserts because a good dessert is something he's really missed during his last couple of years at college. It doesn't even really matter what you make, every week he tells you it's even better than whatever you made the Sunday before.

The store bought, dry cakes he sometimes treats himself to don't even come close to the fluffy sponges you make for him. He tells you your lemon meringue is better than the one his aunt used to make and your pies are probably a cure for sadness. He exaggerates but at least he sounds sincere.

And it's nice. It's nice that he appreciates your effort. It's nice that your desserts actually get eaten and enjoyed. It's nice that you're not sitting at the dinner table alone after lunch. Company is nice. Compliments are nice.

"I know it's late but I don't want you to think I'd forgotten." You made yourself busy in the kitchen, talking a little louder so Bucky could still hear you in the dining room. He usually helped you plate up dessert but not today.

"What are you talking about?" Bless him, he sounded so confused. "I can give you a hand if you like?"

"No, it's okay. Close your eyes." You thought your instruction was clear enough but Bucky still protested.

"Just close your eyes, Buck." You could've sworn you felt him raise his eyebrows but he did as he was told anyway.

You set the plate in front of him and laid a little dessert fork above his placemat. "I know your birthday was last Tuesday but I thought we could still celebrate it today. You're only 24 once." Bucky opened his eyes to the most mouth watering slice of chocolate cake he swore he'd ever seen in his life.

Two thick layers of moist chocolate sponge with a rich chocolate icing in between. The cake must have been heated for a couple of minutes, making the icing warm enough to make the layers slide slightly. Thick, warm chocolate sauce rolled down the sides, taking with it a light dusting of powdered sugar, almost washing away the single lit birthday candle. The plate was decorated with a perfect scoop of cool vanilla ice cream and some fresh strawberries, left overnight in a teaspoonful of sugar to draw out their juice.

"You didn't need to make a whole cake just for me!" His genuine excitement was heartwarming, quickly blowing out his candle before wax melted onto his dessert.

"Sweetheart, I make a whole cake just for you every week. Happy birthday." You lifted the little dessert fork, slicing through the sponge with it, making sure to add a little ice cream and a slice of strawberry before raising it to his lips.

You could swear he actually moans when the cake passes his lips. He makes the same noise at dessert every Sunday and you swear you never get tired of hearing it. It's so close to the noise he makes when he first sinks inside you and God, that sound is beautiful.

Your foot grazes his leg, gently but deliberately and there's a battle going on behind those eyes when he takes the fork from his own mouth. On one hand, your husband is in the next room, sitting beside your son, Bucky's best friend. On the other hand, Bucky needs you to know how much he appreciates this. Appreciates you. And if he's honest with himself, your husband and son being so close has never stopped him before.

"Fuck, you've ruined me." He groans, pressing his lips to yours in a hurry. Somehow you manage to stifle your surprise, catching up when he presses you back onto the dining room table.

"You and those fucking desserts. It's not fair. You get me half hard during dinner and then you feed me the best chocolate cake I've ever had? Do you know how unfair that is?" His hands are all over you, pulling your skirt up in between frantic kisses.

The chocolate cake is all but forgotten, the ice-cream left to melt while Bucky kisses your neck before he tugs your panties off, tucking them into the back pocket of his jeans.

[itspkuwu]

EEnE characters ranked (MY OPINION)

Let’s cut right to the chase, because I really wanna put this out there.

Lee Kanker is in last place. She gets lower than F tier. Where Marie and May had moments where they seemed to genuinely care about each other, Lee just sits there, manipulates, and spreads cruelty. And as for the times where Marie and May were fighting/being mean etc? Well, I have a theory. Remember in Big Picture Show where we see that Lee has a third eye? You know who else has a third eye for no good reason…?

DEMONS. LEE IS AN ACTUAL DEMONIC MENACE WHO BRAINWASHES HER SISTERS JUST TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL MISERABLE. AND EVEN THEN SHE MISTREATS HER “MINIONS” TOO.

And remember when Nazz kissed Double D and Eddy on the cheek? Compare that to how they react to the Kanker’s kisses. How big those lips are… that specific shade of red… the way the Ed boys become horrified every single time…

THE LIP STICK IS CREATED BY LEE AND HAS DARK MAGIC INSIDE OF IT. THATS MY THEORY. IM STICKING TO IT. SCREW YOU LEE.

(that was a joke lolol)

Everybody in the “lol why” tier it’s just an object that isn’t Plank or I haven’t seen those episodes yet. So I can’t really give my thoughts yet.

Rolf’s animals get their own tier. They have an amazing caretaker :3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DORK DORK DORK DORK ITS KEVIN DJDJUDUFHDBRJRIRID.

He’s just a jerk lol. AND NO I DO NOT SHIP HIM WITH ANYBODY. NOT NAZZ. NOT DOUBLE D. ESPECIALLY NOT DOUBLE D. NOBODY.

except his bike.

Eddy’s brother (whose name is apparently Tarry??) is also a jerk. But he makes a pretty cool antagonist. And he just makes me like Eddy even more.

also i feel like he would be a tumblr sexy man

Mildred blinks at you :D

Plank is an immortal God who will one day rule the world. This is my canon.

I REALLY wish we could have seen more of what happened to Jonny post Big Picture Show. Him being “The Gourd” and having a villain arc just sounds super fun. Other than that he’s just a weird kid. I like him.

Don’t let Jimmy fool y’all. He’s a lil maniac. He probably gets it from Sarah. And it’s always a shocker to me given how much he acts so innocent and harmless. He’s a pretty neat anti hero.

I KNOW I SHOULD HATE SARAH. But I feel like there’s more to her than meets the eye. I honestly think her parents taught her the hate her big brother. If they weren’t around, she probably wouldn’t been to mean to him. Making me feel extremely sympathetic for both of them. And at least she looks after Jimmy, giving her redeeming qualities.

To be honest this show needs a character like Nazz. Everything has to be balanced out with someone who isn’t constantly out to get something, being mean, or acting like a weirdo. But yes, she does have her moments, which are rightfully deserved. Plus, I just really like her chill and hippie way of going about.

Marie Kanker and May Kanker are being ranked together. The potential they have to be redeemed is through the roof. They deserve so much better. If Lee wasn’t around to mess with their heads, I think they would be truly happy. Marie could spend her days jamming out and living on the edge, while May is cute and ditzy and a voice of reason at times. Plus both of their hairstyles are really eye candy for me.

The Ed boys are also being ranked together. What else can I say that hasn’t been said already? The way these three bounce off of each other is extremely enjoyable and definitely gets good laughs out of me. I know they have their moments where they aren’t so friendly, but you don’t always have to get along with someone for you to still love them. And when the gentle giant goof, the soft hearted nerd, and the selfish man with a heart of gold do get along, it’s sweeter than jawbreakers :)

AND NOW WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE TRUE GOD. THE LIGHT IN DARK TIMES. THE DIAMOND WITHIN THE DIRT. THE ONLY BOY ON THE SHOW WITH A GOOD HAIRCUT.

ROLF. THE SON OF A SHEPHERD.

Rolf is hands down one of if not the best side character in animation history. He’s a goober for one thing. But a goober that’s gets us to take him seriously. You do not mess with this man. His pride is enough to break you leg. And yet, he still manages to be one of the nicest characters in the show. He’s so friendly and upbeat! And when he isn’t… his dark side is also a fun time.

And another thing, he’s a fish out of water. Which also allows the viewer to feel sympathetic for him. Like in Wish You Were Ed. Seeing Rolf cry is something you’d never think you’d see, but when you do, it makes you feel a somber emotion you had no idea existed. It’s amazing.

yeah, Rolf is amazing.

Also I asked my sister if she wanted to dance to That’s My Horse at her wedding and she said no. What a loser right?

So uh, that’s my list. Hope you enjoyed.

Go hug a chicken.

[luveline]

jade my love hi!!! hope it’s not too late for me to catch up with if it barks, all 3 parts. this is gonna be THE longest commentary ever. i’m warning you. can’t say i’m sorry <3

part 1

first of all you’re SO good at setting the scene. the first description of r with big headphones and sepia sunglasses makes she look sooo cool. and eddie!! the way his transformative smile makes him younger!! his excitement in hearing her good news like it’s his!! he’s so sweet it almost made me forget they’re gonna hate each other

"Do we know those guys?" you ask. 

Morgan grabs your hand and drags you up. "They know us," she says. "That's what matters." 

+

You're both embarrassed by her and impressed. Morgan is pretty and talented and extremely loud — she's not afraid to stick up for herself, even when she's (nearly always) wrong.

i know morgan is a meanie (ananya too sometimes but morgan is like. another level i think) but she’s kinda slay sometimes i fear

If Godless decides to keep you, it's a huge, blinking, neon-lit sign that says you're good enough. 

They chose me, and you're stupid for letting me go. 

They chose me. I'm something worth something. You didn't see it, but it's there in me. 

you know how these things go, there’s always some heart-wrenching line where i don’t really have anything to say but wanted to highlight as one of my favourites. this is the first of many <3

You often think the worst thing about Morgan is that you love her, or you could love her more, if only she felt the same way. She isn't all evil and she never will be, she's just a person. But she takes shit out on you and makes your life harder than it needs to be, so even her most endearing moments fall short.

another favourite! i love the way you write every single one of your characters, even the mean ones, as real multifaceted people

Eddie knows exactly who you are, and he hates himself for it. He remembers you, the first you, shy and sweet and so excited, sitting pretty in Indianapolis International Airport with your guitar and your huge leaky headphones pounding death metal.

NOOO HE REMEMBERS HER. i’m rereading part 1 but i genuinely forgot about that 😭

You'd been pretty and maybe you knew it, maybe you didn't, it didn't matter — what he liked most was the way your hands had moved as you spoke, hummingbird thrumming, an energy he'd seen in himself and every other musician desperate for a chance. He loved the passion and your eyelashes and the way you'd smiled as you'd waited for your plane, the two of you destined for New York, where you both seem to have looped back now. Only, he'd been cursed with remembering your every detail, and you either didn't remember him or don't care. Both sting, but he likes the second better. He'll take purposeful cruelty over the casual any day. 

HER EYELASHES HELLO?? also “he’ll take purposeful cruelty over the casual any day” </3

"If it barks like a dog, and it heels like a dog," he says, pausing, words coming out thick and slow, "it's a dog."

listen. the way i’d have slapped him like 5 min ago. i’m writing this now that i’ve finished part 3 (cause i keep notes on my phone and i come back to them to write my silly little comments) and i KNOW i like him but OH MY GOD.

"I would've said you were mean." 

His jaw drops. You look hurt, and you leave with a discomforting frown. 

it might be the influence that amy march on little women (2019) has on me but calling someone mean just HURTS. cause it’s so childish. and so honest. she could’ve said that he was a dick to her WHICH HE WAS but choosing the word mean makes it soooo sad :((

For a split-second you adore him. It's the meanest thing you can do. 

You aren't expecting him to fuck up. His hand slips down the neck and that's it, one missed second of sound. He throws himself back into it and doesn't look your way again, a storm of emotions clouding his handsome face. 

Not what you'd meant to do, and yet. There's a cruel satisfaction in knowing you'd had any sort of power over him.

AND CHOOSING TO END THAT FIRST PART LIKE THAT????? jade you’re SICK (love u)

part 2

It drives Eddie insane. He can't help it. He hates you and he wants to linger on the sidelines and watch you play. He can't stand the despondent look in your eyes when you look at him, when you look at the floor. He needs you to know that you're better than they tell you, but he can't make himself say the words. 

eddie is just SOOO. like he’s so confused about his own feelings it makes me genuinely both furious and sorry for him

He's tipsy and he won't remember, but he wants to fuck you stupid just for that (affectionately).

NOT THE (affectionately) YOURE SICK (affectionately)

Eddie worries he'd wanted to see you so badly you've appeared as a hallucination, and he hates himself and it's all old news anyways, but you turn back with a cold as ice beer in hand and press it into his arm until he whines.

sorry i cackled a bit at him thinking he’s HALLUCINATING. poor thing (im still so mad)

Your thoughts are a mess until they aren’t — hold his hand. You put your fingers against his palm and he squeezes them together like he’s collected them, tugging you out of the crowd and across the room to the slick black bar. 

LIKE HE’S COLLECTING THEM ajsjakdn that was so cute i love it when you write things like that <3 i know that must be a word for it but i can’t think of it rn

Eddie smiles at you. For the second time that night, he looks like somebody else. 

HIS TRANSFORMATIVE SMILE <///3

You deserve somebody being nice to you right from the start. Eddie’s trying to make it right but he’s said some shit he can’t take back. He wants you to have someone who’s a hundred percent sweet on you, he just doesn’t wanna have to hear the adoration in your voice when you talk about it. 

…..im not so mad anymore. (im super in love rn im so easy)

He sighs and takes your discarded pull tab out of his pocket. He thumbs the rounded edge, thinking harder than one guy should ever think about anything that isn’t metal.

another favorite <3

part 3

His fingers twitch, eager to write about you. He has some lyrics in mind. Evil wretched girl with wicked sweet hands. Heart eater. Soft around the edges. 

He wants to write about your stupid chubby thighs and how they look in skirts. He wants to write about your wrists, your knees and their ever-present bruises. Metaphors for your sickly sweetness won’t stick; cruel becomes kind. Taunting turns teasing. 

how she looks in skirts. even though morgan says she looks bad in them. he thinks about her in skirts :(((

Eddie locks the door and Wayne shuffles into the kitchen promising coffee and cake. He should protest, tell Wayne he can go back to bed and they’ll catch up in the morning, but he missed the small stuff like this, when he’d get home late from band practice or a midnight premiere of a sci-fi flick and his uncle would be sitting up waiting. 

irrelevant but coffee and cake is my go to offer when im catching up with my family too <3

Eddie hides his smile with a long sip of coffee. It’s hot and awful, ‘cause no matter how much love Wayne puts into it, dollar store coffee tastes like burnt grounds from the get go. Eddie missed it more than anything. Sometimes he’s in the back of the queasy tour bus or lying on the floor in his hotel room coming down off of something risky and all he can think about is Wayne’s coffee.

this one might be super favourite but it’s cause i really love wayne

Anyway, the memory of her face won’t leave me alone. It makes me feel like crying. So I haven’t touched anything in two weeks and I thought coming home for Christmas would make up for all the secrets I’m keeping

and this one is a super extra favourite. just cause it’s really good and it made me held back some tears.

You wince. For a moment, you’d seen something stupid, a pale face hidden in the pillow across the way. 

they’re SO. thinking about each other in random moments. like she’s thinking about him as she’s trying to think of building a home. you’re sick i love you

“Oh, you’re getting a flat rate now? Go you, superstar.”

you have no idea how much i appreciate you referencing the airport scene but you’re kinda breaking my heart here jade baby

“No, fuck you. You string me around with your hot and cold act and now you’re coming to my shows taking me to dinner,” —your voice stiffens, thickens, as you glare at him from across the table— “asking me how I’m doing? And I’m the one who has to explain themselves? You tell me, Munson. Do I think that you’re pretty?”

another favourite!!! <3

eddie kissing her arm did a number on me and i cannot comment on that without feeling insane

It doesn’t feel like admitting defeat, as he’d initially thought it might. Neither does it feel confessional. You can’t confess to a secret already known. 

He kisses you just once. A light brush of his lips against yours. Anymore than that and he knows he’ll start making promises like someone who has room for them. His eyes scrunch closed hard and he struggles not to squeeze your poor cheek as the pressure of your lips builds, as they part, as he pulls back and you chase him. He can’t kiss your mouth anymore than that, but your hands are grabbing at him, pleading and twitching and cold against the searing skin of his abdomen as they search underneath his shirt. Eddie feels the soft curve of your hip under his hand, knowing he can’t fuck you here, and undecided on whether that’ll be his ruin or his saviour. 

and

“I feel sick all the time,” you say. Your hands flex against his skin. “The only time I feel alright is when I’m playing– when I’m making something.” You press your head to his chest. “Or when I’m with you.”

Eddie thinks of all the shitty decisions he’s made. His restlessness, his bad attitude. His propensity to assume the worst. How he’d taken your thumb rubbing a smudge off of his cheek in the Prover Theatre as a jab, rather than a helping hand. 

He wraps his arms around you. 

Your head fits under his rather well. 

“I know what you mean,” he says. And out of everything he’s told you today, that’s the hardest to say aloud. 

jade, my love. you know how i feel about your writing. this doesn’t come as a surprise for you and it certainly shouldn’t come as one for me, but it does, every time. not to steal your own writing but your works have something transformative about them, where every time i feel like i can’t go back to the person i was before reading them. like poetry, you know? that inner shift you feel when something hits you deep down? that’s your writing for me. eddie and r’s conflicting feelings and mean remarks and utter honest confessions were so beautifully written and progressed so naturally. you’re so talented, but mostly you work so hard on your writing and it’s so evident that you love it so deeply, i can’t thank you enough for sharing it with us. can’t wait to see what’s coming next from you (you knew what you were doing writing that cliffhanger!!!) (also now i truly am a little bit sorry that this might too long)

i love you!! 💌 - lu

AHHHH IM SO SPOILED LETS GO

setting the scene <3 okay thank you so much firstly, I think my problem as a writer is that half of the time I don't actually REMEMBER to set the scene but I've been getting much better at that! as well as learning to include like past details / more back story for characters and I'm so happy to see it's coming through

Morgan is kinda slay <\3 I wanted her and Ananya to feel very real, and for that I didn't just want to make them like blindly hate the reader, because if they did they wouldn't keep her in their internationally famous band! I also just really enjoy writing them. Ananya is this effortlessly beautiful intelligent girl who worked hard to get where she is, and she's not going to let Morgan, also beautiful but not quite as smart (thinks she's smart lol) ruin that, but she's still someone who has her eyes on other things. In the chapter I'm writing now they've had a spat and I've tried to emphasise how much Morgan relies on her casually

Eddie remembers her!! And he's been holding on to that little tidbit for so long!!! Pencilled in, I think he's gonna bring it up in like a heartbreak moment

Oh my god!! I won't lie I thought the like a dog comparison was literally so cruel, as I was writing it I was wondering if maybe it is too far but that's actually the point, he does go too far and if you said that to somebody you knew better it would probably damage your relationship, and I needed that to give their relationship this tenuous unsteadiness so I can manoeuvre the plot in the last chapter and the upcoming one. And I can kind of use readers vulnerability against her.

EXACTLY! he's "mean" like mean is a criminal offence, and absolutely she could have said you're a dick you're a jerk but those insults could have other influencing factors, the root of the insult is that he literally was just mean he lost his temper and she wasn't as innocent as she thinks (are we ever?) but what he said was so close to the bone, it was exactly what she hates about herself and he read her for filth and I think that's so interesting, that he can see her so clearly, and a big focus or theme for me in the fic that he uses that skill in a way to hurt her, and then spends the rest of the time feeling guilty and trying to walk it back because her slight is half imagined (she WASNT making fun of him at prover theatre, and she DID honestly forget she met him years ago, but those things left him off kilter, like an ego blow he wasn't expecring)

Eddie is so fucking confused about what he wants in the second chapter. I think I was a little confused too on where I wanted to go and I think that's why they ended up meeting on good terms so quickly, but it actually worked out because I was able to show their true intentions to EACH OTHER but not yet the people reading — reader knows what Eddie told her while he was drunk/high, but you guys don't yet, and I've been seeding it in, there's a little more of it in chapter 3 and there's even more now in the current wip, and Eddie doesn't QUITE know what he told her either even though he's remembered little bits, which is an important dynamic between them between each other. In the same way, she got drunk and told him about how she worries she'll be nothing (which was honestly self indulgent) and she has to trust him with that. Trying to build their relationship!

The skirt thing! My very first rival rockstar request I got at Halloween, I answered it with a plot line about skirts! Okay so i knew I wanted to include that but didn't know if I would, and I wanted to keep the option open hence inserting those details about Morgan thinking she doesn't suit them and Eddie going crazy over them. I don't know if I'll ever include it but it was like a secret homage to the idea that turned into this fic!

Eddie and Wayne!!! I realised pretty recently that I can literally make their relationship whatever I wanted it to be and If It Barks and the new ghost fic I'm writing fell victim to that, it was honestly one of my favourite moments getting to write about them, very very enjoyable.

YOU ALWAYS CATCH MY TINY REFERENCES 😭 u have no idea what it means for me to be able to throw in a little detail wondering if anybody notices and knowing that you do.

Eddie kissing her arm was like. I wanted to show that he's losing his pride? Not that it's humiliating to be affectionate, bit I figured it was incredibly intimate to do that, it's not like a kiss to the cheek that can be explained away, and I also just wanted the imagery there. I think that's a good thing to paint, the two of them in a snug nook of the bathroom all folded in on each other and he could kiss her on the lips if he wanted to, but he genuinely just wanted to kiss her arm and couldn't really stop himself from doing it

I'm always conflicted including details like "he wants to fuck you" because I don't want to take away from the romance, but then I remember that sex is actually romantic most of the time and I feel better about it. Like, he wants to fuck you stupid (affectionately) worked for me because he REALLY meant the affectionately part! he has such a raging crush on her at that point, and at this point when he's kissing her in the bathroom, and they still haven't fucked yet and he's a real human being, of course he wants to fuck her, she wants him to fuck her too 🤧 I would have made them in the bathroom honestly but I wanted to show that they're still not on sure footing, and that reader is super not okay in the situation that she's in (not so much because of Eddie, but I hope that it's evident that she has like a levy that's about to overflow) — she means it when she says she doesn't feel sick with him (self indulgence again, I put that bit in because I wanted her to feel relatable sure but I wanted to vent about some of my own feelings at the same time, I feel good when I'm writing and when I'm with the people I love, but the rest of the time I feel fucking awful, and it's awful, and I think it's one of those things other people can't fix for you, so that's why he hugs her and walks her back and they don't fuck because I didn't want it to look like he was attempting a quick fix)

My love!! I can't believe that I get to be your friend and also someone that you read. I say it to you all the time but I genuinely just forget that you can see what I'm making and that we literally met through my bad fanfic, I'm so happy to know you're still reading me, still enjoying it, still finding all these details and I'm incredibly spoiled to get to see your thoughts like this. I really love talking about why I've written what I have and even more do I enjoy seeing what you thought was good. I'm not gonna lie I absolutely love the attention and it isn't lost on me how long this takes you every time, it's a real actual true gift not just to receive your commentary but to be your friend !!

The cliffhanger was <3 necessary! They're gonna fight so badly 😢 love you so much lu baby!!

[romistav]

““you guys are so fucked up.” 

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON MAX AND DEJAN’S EXIT LAST NIGHT? WHY DIDN’T YOU VOTE FOR THEM?

”my thoughts are that it’s great dejan is no longer here. he was dragging everyone here down and, i mean, getting in an actual fight with josh right before leaving? clearly, not a good look. i wasn’t going to vote for my abusive ex to stay on the show, sorry.” 

HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THE START OF CASA AMOR?

"i think it’s technically the best thing that could’ve happened to me but i am still not happy that it happened. i mean, i miss marcus and it hasn’t even been a full day. i’m trying to let myself be distracted and for the most part it’s working but then i start thinking about what he’s probably doing and the fact that i have no clue who he’s talking to. this essentially made everything i’ve been trying to do all that much easier, though. i have to give it a chance but i still think you guys are fucked up.” 

ARE THERE ANY NEW ISLANDERS THAT HAVE CAUGHT YOUR ATTENTION? WHO?

”stella is incredibly stunning. i mean, she’s tall and i’m pretty sure she just naturally smells like vanilla or something. charlene is pretty cute, she hasn’t tried, like, hitting on me or anything so i don’t think that i’m her type but i can see us being friends. she wants us to be a ghost hunting duo or something which sounds fun and a lot more chill than most of the stuff i’ve been up to in here. zeke is, like, well you’ve seen him. god, is it fucked up to say that all of them have caught my attention? dante is such a cutie. that accent could make anyone melt, i think. he invited me to go visit the vineyard he works at which i know might have just been him being polite but that was very sweet.” they give the producers a look like they’re ready for the next question only for them to shoot another look right back at her. “and jude, too. i’m excited he’s here.” 

ARE THERE ANY NEW ISLANDERS YOU DON’T SEE YOURSELF VIBING WITH?

“not really. i think the only one i haven’t really spoken to is angel but i can see us getting along, too. i think i’m a pretty easy person to get along with, to be honest. still, having them around is nothing compared to having everyone else here. i miss getting to discuss every single thing that’s happening with josh and dylan. i wonder how they’re doing. i mean, josh is probably loving it.” 

DO YOU THINK YOUR HEAD COULD BE TURNED? 

“what i think doesn’t matter as much as the fact that my only chance of staying on here is if my head is turned. you know that better than anyone. i do think that you like me, though, because you’ve given me plenty of good options to pick from. i’m looking forward to seeing where it goes with someone here but even then i think everything is going to shift as soon as everyone comes back to this villa. like, i don’t know, obviously i can’t see what’s going to happen but i guess, yes, i can see my head being turned.” 

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR ‘OTHER HALF’ IS UP TO IN THE OTHER VILLA RIGHT NOW? HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THEM? 

“i hope that marcus is having a great time and i hope he’s getting to meet lots of interesting and fun people. i’m not giving you anything else, that’s genuinely how i feel. i already said that i miss him, right? so, yeah. i wish him all the best and those bombshells are so goddamn lucky they get to meet him.”  

[mlmmetalhead]

Steve Harrington with a boyfriend headcanons

Male reader.

I remember being annoyed by Steve in the first season and look where I am now.

Writing this while almost dying from the amount of cold milk I drank.

It was really hard for him to comprehend and accept his feelings towards a guy.

Your relationship started as really close, if not best friends.

I don't think he'd be able to accept his feelings towards a guy, unless they knew each other really well.

Really oblivious as well.

So even if you thought you were dropping obvious hints, they all went right over his head.

Cut him some slack, I don't think he ever even thought about a same-sex relationship.

When he started feeling funny about his friend, immediately rushed to Robin for advice.

If I'm being honest, she probably caught onto your attempts almost immediately after they started, so she was pleasantly relieved when Steve's braincells finally worked, as they do once in a while.

She pretended to hear about this for the first time, gave him some of the most obvious pieces of advice and called it a day.

Probably ended up embarrassing himself, because he thought you were supposed to come up with a different strategy to score a guy.

He tried, but ended up just turning back to his god awful pickup lines, just a little... Different.

"When I'm around you I can't think straight."

"... Are you okay?"

"I don't need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you."

"What the fuck-"

You end up just asking him out yourself, since every single one attemt of his fails miserably.

So happy it's unbelievable.

Literally jumping in his place with fists clenched.

Goes home and just runs around his bedroom until he gets tired.

Since it's still the 80s, you two can't have public dates and expression of PDA, which is why every single one of your dates is "just hanging out with a friend".

It takes time since he's fully used to call you his boyfriend, but he's really exited he can actually do that.

Will try so hard to set up a perfect date, but it'll all crumble down somehow in the end.

Truth to be told, it's his favourite kind of dates, memory wise.

There's a lot more to remember from a date that went wrong, then from a quiet, nice one.

Not to mention how much he likes it when you console and reassure him, he feels so much better in your arms.

Again, mostly because he isn't used to not needing to be seen as a "leader" of the relationship, it'll be really hard for Steve to ask for praise and reassurance when he needs it, and he needs a lot.

You might have to make the first move here, again.

A lot of work is required from you in this relationship, actually. Because Steve for the love of god, will not speak up about his problems himself.

Not at first, anyway.

But when you notice he's been off, when you ask him, and make him feel better, even if it's just something as simple as a cuddle session, he'll melt. Almost physically, he just loves you so much.

On to the more general stuff,

Sometimes, you just happened to tag along on Steve's and his kid's crew adventures.

Then, "sometimes" becomes "every time", and then, whenever you aren't there, someone always goes "Call Y/N!"

Were you asking for this? Hell no.

Are you complaining? Not really.

Every time this happens, Steve is going to apologize profusely every chance he gets, because he genuinely feels like you don't want to be there.

"Y/N, I'm so, so sorry, really, you can go the next chance you get, I promise it's okay no one's going to-"

"It's alright, babe, I'm not complaining."

"No, but you actually can go home, I promise I won't be-"

"I said it's okay, Steve, I am okay with this."

But this comes mostly from how much he cares for you, and doesn't want you hurt because of, what he feels like, is his responsibility.

Again, I somehow always end up with discussing serious matters.

I don't know where to put this hc but here, but he adores cats. Loves 'em.

If you have a cat, will not leave it alone whenever he comes over. He'll talk to it in a baby voice while cradling it like a child.

If you don't, you'll sometimes hear something along those lines:

"Y/N, can you move in with me and adopt a cat? Please?"

"Why can't you just adopt a cat on your own?"

"Because then it'll be your cat! Y'know, a special one."

If you're on a date and Steve spots a cat walking around, y'all are not leaving the location, until the cat will get fed up with his antics.

If you'll visit him while he's working shift at Scoops, will refuse to leave the counter even after you've made you order, staring at you with practical hearteyes, making it painfully obvious to everyone in the cafe.

He likes getting you little things.

Can get you a literal piece of junk he found somewhere at the mall, and will say:

"This reminded me of you."

With the most loving expression ever.

And you won't be able to reject it, goddamnit.

Overall, he's a lovesick dummy, take care of him, even if he wants to seem as the one in control, he really just needs a hug.

[wildm00re]

i love how when we talk about portwell and rinis being racist, they talk right around it. like address the anti blackness you should towards gina?? but they don’t care to hold themselves accountable!

it’s baffling the way the show went out of its way to show us that gina was NOT in the wrong for dumping ej; they showed us that despite having very strong feelings for ricky in s2, gina had no intention of getting in between him and nini and somehow they painted her as the villain every single time.

in s2, she was slut shamed for having a crush… people were really slut shaming a teenager with a crush on a disney show and didn’t see anything wrong with that…

“poor nini, gina is a terrible friend for dating ricky” gina dated ej too… another one of nini’s exes and she didn’t care… she encouraged it even😭 they’re projecting their feelings onto nini because to me that’s one of the main reasons a lot of them shipped rini to begin with—

—they either 1). projected joshua and olivia’s irl dynamic that they had during interviews onto them or 2). projected themselves into that relationship— because let’s be honest, there were a lot of weirdos in the fandom back then especially after the ‘epic season finale kiss’ that rini had. i remember seeing GROWN people wanting rini to have sex scenes in s2 when these kids are like 16/17 on a disney show 😭

anyways as i was saying, with gina being a possible love interest for ricky, a lot of these weirdos couldn’t project onto her— that’s how it usually is for white fandoms when their fav white leads/white passing leads get a character of color/black character for a love interest. they start saying “they’re better off as friends/siblings :(“ “they have more chemistry with [insert other white character here]” or they say the typical “i really tried to get into them but it’s just so forced” line that i’ve seen used for various ships of mine across fandoms (e.g.: westallen, dansen, scira, dickkory, etc)

with portwell shippers, for most of them it’s always been about what gina can do for ej not what they can mutually do for each other. it’s always “ej deserves better” “poor ej deserves to be happy” “ej was there for gina when nobody was and THIS is how she thanks him 😡” “ej is trying his best why is gina so hard on him”

again, gina is the one being held to impossible standards; what gina wants or needs is not important to them— and then they wonder why they get called out for being racist?

this is getting long, but someone replied to one of my posts a few days ago (a reply i can’t see anymore for some reason?) but it was a post where i was defending gina from the fandom’s shitty takes and they said something along the lines “ omg she’s human not a god hold her accountable” and i was just ???

accountable for WHAT ? genuinely, i want to know what this poor girl did that is getting her villainized like this?

is it having unresolved feelings for ricky? because she wasn’t acting on them. she literally tried and tried to be a good gf to ej up until the last minute where she couldn’t stand being miserable anymore. besides, it’s not like ej wasn’t aware of the history rina had, he brings it up multiple times— so, i don’t get how ej knowingly entered a relationship with a girl with unresolved feelings for another guy, and he’s the ‘victim’ while gina is the ‘bad guy’ ? he knew what he was getting into

and yes i do feel sympathetic towards ej (despite his annoying fandom), his father is terrible but that doesn’t change the fact that he was making gina miserable and it doesn’t change the fact that they weren’t right for each other.

(sorry this got really long—)

[virtual-insanity28]

Hello!! This is my first time requesting on here and I saw the requests are opwn for the Security Guards 👀 And I was Wondering if you could write headcanons for Mike Schmidt with a S/O? Like just general headcanons if you were in a relationship with Mike. Also I hope you have a wonderful Day, night, evening or morning!! :]] :DD

Mike Schmidt x Reader Headcanons

ahaw, you’re too cute, chat! i gotchu, no worries! hope these aren’t too short, though!

have a wonderful day, night, evening or morning to you too!! >;3c

Life with this man is rather…difficult. The reason why that is said is for Mike has been distant and crude since day one of your fateful meeting. Can you blame him, though? His entire childhood is full of trauma and wrong choices, so he is afraid that if he gets too close to somebody, he’ll somehow hurt them.

For the first few months of dating him, he is still that same reserved man you’ve managed to fall in love with.

Don’t get it wrong! He loves your company! It‘s merely just as said previously; he’s afraid he’ll hurt you.

On days that he feels generous, Mike may allow you to come with him to an arcade or a ‘fancy’ restaurant(which may literally be one step from a McDonald’s due to his paycheck being limited). And, boy, does he love every moment of your hang out.

He adores seeing you happy. It lets him know you genuinely like his presence more than his looks. He had a few relationships in the past, yet those barely lasted a single month because of his reputation. Breakups are actually a reason why he has his rising anger.

Mike is also destructive at times. He tends to freak out after coming back home from his shift at the pizzeria, and is either extremely calm or extremely panicked. In any situation, though, he immediately directs his way to you to calm down. What can he say? He loves the warmth of soothing feeling you give him, so cuddling to make him feel better is always his top want once anxiety hits him.

Let’s be honest, Mike is an absolute joker. Once he was born, it’s like all of the dad joke power flowed inside of him instead of his own father.

He’d go to verbal jokes to physical pranks in a matter of seconds. And depending on the person, most of his jokes aren’t jokes. If he said something along the lines of “I‘m gonna kill you,” then you better make sure to get that person running miles away from Mike’s radius. He will not be kidding if he says that to someone you know he particularly doesn’t like.

There is this rumor that Mike is a good kisser, and god damnit you better believe it. Even though he hasn’t been in a relationship recently(before you), he keeps the title of being the best FNaF Guard kisser out of the all.

Pulling you by your waist, the ocean blue eyes of the guard glimmer down at you, half-lidded. It has been forever since he had this close of a relationship with someone, so he doesn’t refrain from holding back his love, given some time to adjust to it, that is.

“How do I say ‘I love you’ in idiot?” He snickers a bit after his mock before leaning down and practically slamming his lips onto your, enveloping you into both a warm hug and kiss.

[oceantail-oceantail]

If you ever have free time, I strongly recommend you listen to Bad give genuine relationship advice (romantic or platonic). 

It legitimately affected my outlook on relationships and I clipped it to keep it forever. 

(transcript under the cut)

Bad: I’m gonna give you a pro tip are you ready? Piece of life advice, ready? Foolish: Oh yeah, please! Bad: *snaps* The source of all conflict between two parties in a relationship of any kind… friendship, etc. assuming it’s a consensual relationship and that you’re not forced to be near them. The source of all conflict is unmet expectations. Foolish: Unmet expectations is the core problem of all relationships? Bad: Well, it’s the source not necessarily the core. Foolish: Oh! Bad: The point is, that’s why having proper communication in a relationship is one of the most important things about a relationship! Communication! Because if you communicate your expectations with people, they can’t be surprised when you feel a certain way because you communicated it to them. Foolish: So let’s say the classic, “Do my pants make me look fat?” Do I just be honest? Bad: What is that person expecting? Are they expecting an honest answer? Or are they expecting you to say something that makes them feel better? If they’re expecting an honest answer, then you know that, then.. be honest. If they’re not expecting an honest answer, and they’re expecting you to just say something that makes them feel good, then if you know that then you can go “oh they just want me to say something that makes the feel good,” and then go ahead and compliment them! Point is, if you know what their expectations are *snaps* boom. Foolish: But what if I don’t know what their expectations are? Like it’s out of the blue— Bad: AH! Then there you go!! You’re not communicating enough!! Communicate more, Foolish! Foolish:  That’s unrealistic though, to be able to communicate that well! To every time they ask a question I should be prepared to know the answer I should give... Bad: It’s not that deep. Think about it like this. Here’s an example. If you leave laundry on the floor, and the person you’re with gets mad at you for it they should obviously communicate their expectations with you, that they want to live in a house where people clean up after themselves. Communicating that allows you to know what their expectations are. That way, when you’re not holding them up, you can’t just be like “oh well I didn’t know that you didn’t want me to leave clothes lying right here!” [transition] Bad: the point I'm saying is: you need to communicate with the person you’re with to set your expectations for things in the relationship. [transition] Bad: Communication. Communication is the most important things in a relationship. Puffy: How do you tell your significant other that they’re terrible at cooking? Bad: Again, what are their expectations? I would say, in a relationship, people should be honest with each other. Puffy: Yeah but how would you deliver that message? ‘Cause you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Bad: Okay then that’s easy. *in an exaggerated voice* “Oh my goodness, honey, look!!!! Oh my goodness!! Free cooking lessons?! They just sent vouchers for free cooking lessons in the mail! Let’s go take these classes together, that sounds like a lot of fun! Come on we can both learn how to cook, we can do a couples class together! *back to regular voice* Boom. There! Right there off the bat, they don't feel like you’re singling them out, you get to spend time together doing something fun, it’s a win-win! Foolish: *laughs* That’s actually kinda big brained there!! Puffy: Okay but what if you think your partner is not as attractive anymore, would you be like “oh my god, free botox??? For you??” Bad: No, listen. First thing everyone that gets into a relationship needs to remember is this: physical attractiveness… everybody is guaranteed on the downward slope of that, okay? At some point, everyone’s going to look really old, and no one looks great when they’re super old. [transition] Bad: and if they’re not beautiful by societal standards, what’ll happen is that their personality will overflow and you’ll start to see their personality on the outside and they’ll look physically beautiful to you. You follow me? Foolish: That was beautiful, Bad. Bad: That’s the reality of it. Remember, physical attractiveness and physical appearance fade. Keep that in mind, it’s the road every human is on. [transition] Bad: Listen, if you’re looking for a long term relationship, and someone asks you “what do you really like about this person?” And the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a physical characteristic, odds all you’re not in that for a long term relationship. Because at the end of the day, that’s not going to be something that’s going to last forever! ‘Cause again, physical characteristics fade over time. [transition] Puffy: but like, when you’re trying to set your friend up on a date with someone and you’re like “well tell me about them” and they’re like “they have a good personality” and you oh “oh,, so….hmmm.” Bad: No! You can say stuff like “I really love how—” than you describe something about them, “they’re so much fun to be around! Literally we spend so much time together, like the other day, we watched a movie then he made me laugh with their commentary” is something you could say. That’s just an example, you feel me? Puffy: Hmm, so what do you love most about Skeppy? Bad: I think Skeppy is a very awesome friend, he gives good advice, he’s very funny when we record videos they’re very hilarious. [transition] Puffy: well you didn’t once complement his dump truck, so you don’t love him as a friend [fade to black]

Puffy’s stream: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/912086765?filter=archives&sort=time starts around 1:19:17 Foolish’s stream:  https://www.twitch.tv/videos/912061105?filter=archives&sort=time starts around 1:44:02

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and They’re- Oh Crap They’re Barbatos’ Kid!

This is the second part of that one request I answered for Dia and Barb’s possible kids. Sorry this took so long! Writer’s block, y’know? Anyhoo~ enjoy, everyone!

This story didn’t start on the first day of the exchange program, it started five days before in Barbatos’ room at three in the morning with the poor butler waking up in a cold sweat.

Oh dear, it appeared the exchange program would be up in a bit of a tizzy. He had… a child? Oh my… Barbatos hoped the young master wouldn’t be too miffed about the student not being a totally normal human.

On the day of the exchange program, Barbatos insisted he had to be present for the event, he carefully pushed a cushioned sofa in the drop zone before opening the portal. The child fell right out of the sky and landed perfectly on the couch, they were already wearing a helmet and looked quite shocked by the cushioned fall.

Well, it was a big shock to the assembled crowd, but the child gave everyone a lopsided smile and removed their helmet.

“So, I assume I’m here for the exchange program?”

Dadbatos

Well, this child was incredibly… what was the word the kids were using? chill? They were quite chill considering the situation, and was surprisingly prepared for the sudden drop into hell.

“Oh, I had a dream that this was going to happen, and I dream about the future n’stuff. I thought I’d come prepared.” “Ah, that’s very sensible.”

Diavolo recovered quickly from his shock and was positively delighted to meet this little munchkin. He insisted that they had to stay with their dad.

MC was polite, if not a bit overly calm about a lot of things. They didn’t run off to start trouble, and they didn’t seem very impressed by the Devildom itself. It was sort of like this child had a very low maximum level of excitement. Barbatos was glad his child wasn’t some little hellraiser.

He was never a child himself, so he’s a bit clueless about what children actually enjoy. Here child, have a… have an old torture weapon. Don’t use it on anyone who doesn’t deserve it :)

(I’m kidding, Barbatos is too responsible to give one of his instruments of torture to a child. That’s for when they’re older.)

“MC,” Barbatos knocked on his child’s door. “Have you done your homework?”

MC answered the door with a grin on their face. “Yep, done this week’s and next week’s. I’m getting a head start on the potions project due next week.”

Barbatos almost breathed a small sigh of relief. Thank the stars his child was responsible, it already took a big chunk of his energy to make sure Diavolo didn’t get distracted from his paperwork. Though, his stress levels did rise a tad when he got a glimpse at the mess in MC’s room.

“Are you going to clean that?”

“Nah,” MC shrugged. “It’s whatever. I know where everything is and nothing’s a fall risk. See you at dinner, father.”

And with that, MC shut the door. Well… no child was perfect.

As much as MC’s lack of cleanliness bothers Barbatos, he knows his kid isn’t being maliciously lazy, just for the love of the Demon King please stop leaving cups on the coffee tables without a coaster!

Oh yeah, Luke has a big sib. Sorry- little sib, because Luke isn’t some chihuahua child, he’s a totally mature grown-up Angel.

Barbatos is the type of father who will let his child go off and have whatever kind of fun they want as long as they don’t slack on their important duties.

Barbs also has a goddamn torture dungeon so we here at Stupid Headcanons inc. do NOT recommend trying to eat MC. Doing so may result in you wishing you were dead.

Don’t fuck with the butler.

Lucifer

…out of literally everyone in the room, the last person Lucifer expected to have a secret scandal baby… had a scandal baby. Damn.

At least the human wouldn’t have to live with him and his brothers. The last thing Lucifer wanted was for Barbatos to be even more aware of the chaos that went down in that house every single day.

MC and Lucifer have a healthy level of respect for one another, but Lucifer just can’t shake the feeling that this kid is messing with him somehow.

Just, little things… MC offering him fruit and loudly assuring him that it was just blackberries and nothing poisonous, asking if the RAD uniform suits his tastes, proclaiming that the dirt was high quality-

SOMEONE TOLD MC ABOUT LUCIFER’S FIRST VISIT TO THE DEVILDOM!

MC wasn’t exactly visibly goading him, they said everything with an innocent smile on their face.

When MC starts getting nosy with the attic, he’s not terribly sure how to deal with it. He was going up against a child that could at least partially tell the future. After the first time Lucifer told them to scram, they never went back to the steps… at least not when Lucifer was there to guard it…

After everything goes down, Lucifer is glad that MC wasn’t hurt or anything. He’d come to like the child and it’d be awful to lose the only person who could get his more hyperactive brothers to calm down.

Mammon

Mammon wasn’t present for the meeting, but when he was informed later, the news was met with an eloquent: “the fuck? Huh, wild.”

He isn’t too interested in MC at first. At least until the little runt saved him from getting busted for skipping class. Mammon was just eating his lunch in the courtyard when MC passed by and calmly told him that if he skipped class he should not hang out in the west staircase because Lucifer was going to walk down those steps during third period.

At first Mammon tried to brush off the warning, but ended up listening to the kid anyway, and what do ya know! He didn’t get caught by Lucifer!

That’s when it clicked that MC could see the future, right? Right?! Ya know what Mammon could use that for?! Right?!

Gambling! Scams! Schemes! General shennaniganery!

MC wasn’t terribly enthused about the entire situation, so they may have messed with Mammon a little. Just a bit.

It’s not like Mammon ever listened when MC told him to cut his losses and leave the casino anyway 🙄

Leviathan

First reaction? Thank the anime gods that there wouldn’t be another normie living in the house with him…

Reaction upon hearing that the MC was Barb’s kid? Really? Barbatos? Wow… well, to be fair Levi totally understood why someone would be attracted to Barbatos, I mean, Levi’s watched plenty of anime involving butlers, but Barbatos actually having a living breathing child? Damn.

But still, Levi wasn’t going to hang out with some normie brat. He had better and nerdier things to devote his time to.

Whenever MC visited, Levi was up in his room. But once MC decided to poke their head in the door while Levi was in the middle of gamer raging.

They calmly sat Levi down and explained to him that he could be upset about whatever happened in his game, but lashing out wasn’t going to fix anything or make him better at the actual game.

…damn it… they were right.

Slowly but surely Levi and MC built up a friendship, and the brothers rejoiced at the lack of rage related Lotan summons.

Satan

Out of everything Satan could have possibly expected from the second exchange student, this was not one of them.

Satan began to wonder exactly how MC’s powers worked, he didn’t exactly have any concrete data to compare them to because Barbatos was so mysterious

Hm, how very interesting. Satan decided that it was up to him to satiate his own curiosity and began to study MC. To be honest, MC wasn’t being terribly interesting.

They were a pretty normal kid all things considered. MC went to class, made friends, did their work, very very normal. Well, except for the fact that they seemed to dodge practically every unfortunate thing that could have happened to them.

They’d stop at the perfect time to avoid something accidentally being spilled on them, they always had pencils ready, and they always seemed to know exactly when a teacher was coming… mad sus.

Satan eventually confronted MC about this, and they just shrugged and explained that they tend to dream about what was most likely to happen the next day and would adjust their actions accordingly.

It may have been anticlimactic, but MC did inform Satan that there would be a cat in the courtyard in fifteen minutes.

HE NEEDED TO GO!

Asmodeus

Asmo had genuinely been looking forward to the new exchange program, he was excited to have a new face around the house to shake things up! He loves his dear brothers but spending thousands of years with them makes their shenanigans become a bit… well, a bit boring.

But my oh my, the new face was being obscured by that tacky bicycle helmet… the new face looked an awful lot like Barbatos…

Once Asmo registered what was going on, he was positively enchanted with the little half human. They were just so cute! They looked like a baby Barbatos with those adorably chubby cheeks!

Oh Barbatos~ he just had to let Asmo babysit!

When Asmo managed to sweep MC away for a fun day with shifty uncle Solomon, he was reminded of all the shenanigans that he, Barbatos, and Solomon used to get up to.

*sigh, Barbie was always so busy… no time for a fun night of torture, chaos, and revelry

Anyhoodles~ MC was always such a relaxed little thing. They let Asmo vent whenever any awful tragedies occur, like when Asmo finds a sweater that isn’t in his size… *sniffle*

Beelzebub

A child of Barbatos? The best cook in the three realms Barbatos?! …hey kid want to hang out with cool uncle Beel?

Beel tried everything in his power to get MC to make him food. I mean, the genetic disposition for making good food has to have been passed down from father to child!

When MC finally made Beel food, he was ecstatic!

…Until the food touched Beel’s tongue and he realized it wasn’t good, it was just… okay. Average. Passable.

Aw man… but the kid looked so excited to have made something for Beel…

Beel really hammed up his reaction to make MC feel better. Beel was like “Wow. So good. Amazing.” “Thanks Beel.”

Very sweet child, they don’t mind being used in place as a dumbell.

Belphegor

Damn, and here Belphie was, thinking Barbatos has standards. Apparently not!

When MC went and walked up the attic steps, Belphie was almost bouncing on his toes in anticipation. This human had been a pain in the rear to call up, so he was excited to finally get a good look at them. And lo and behold, a half demon child of Lord Diavolo’s butler.

MC grinned and greeted Belphie first, using his name and asking why the Avatar of Sloth was stuck up in the attic of his own home when he was supposed to be in the human world. Belphie was flabbergasted and didn’t exactly know how to respond.

He came up with a new plan quickly. Belphie didn’t exactly know how this kid’s powers worked, so he’d continue with trying to trick them into opening the attic door. Allowing Belphie to end their miserable little life and thus ruining the exchange program.

The child continued to visit Belphie up in the attic, relaying the events of what was going on, and Belphie continued to play the part of prisoner. Until one day in particular…

MC appeared in front of the door, looking a tad more unkempt than normal, they weren’t smiling their usual carefree smile either. Their eyes bore holes into Belphegor’s skull as they flared at him.

“How long have you been planning on killing me?”

MC had seen the future where they died at Belphie’s hand, and they sure as hell were not going to let him out of the attic after that. Though, they did tell Belphie about Lilith’s true fate before they left, and assured Belphie they had no reason to lie to him about something he wasn’t directly involved in.

So, Belphie did get let out of the attic eventually, and even though MC smiled and welcomed him back all the same, there would always a barrier between the two. Broken trust wasn’t easy to mend, after all.

[demonwield]

which mun inspires you a lot?

Unprompted || Always Accepting!

     Man. . .I don’t want to come out and say something that might make others feel HURT, but since I’m being asked, I’m going to be honest. In truth, there’s a LOT of people who inspire me, fuck I could pull out a follower list probably 100+ strong of people who motivate, or inspire me, for a lot of different reasons. So, let’s go down a SMALL list, those who are probably the STRONGEST inspirations for me. 

@zorkaya || Renata. Lord, I could talk about this absolute sweetheart so much. FIRST, Ren has been a dear friend of mine for years now. Really, it’s shocking how long, on and off sure, but unchangingly and unflinchingly, how long we’ve been friends. She’s seen me at my best, seen me at my worst, she’s fought for me in the past, she’s been there to help me through that DramaTM bullshit last year. She’s never let rumors, or false call outs, or the other bullshit fuck with our friendship. She’s been a darling, and I cherish her to death. Atop of that? She has one of the BEST OC’s around: seriously, Zarina is amazing, and always going to be in my top 3 favorite OC’s of all time. I love her writing. I love her...well, everything really. 

@exrhlab || Languid, this guy is amazing. He’s the one who dragged me down this rabbit hole of pain and torment that is Arknights, and is one of my most common people you’ll see on my blog. Because he’s a great friend, and we genuinely both like to cause PAIN and TORMENT to our muses, and write both twisted, but also fulfilling stories. We chat constantly, and he’s just a great person. 

@eraba-reta-unmei || Everi, this motherfucking girl. Man, she’s a total twerp sometimes. But I wouldn’t be here to this day if not for her. She’s gotten me through some DIFFICULT moments in my life, and is one of my closest friends I can ever ask for. We’ve been around together at this point for so long, and there’s days where we want to rip eachother apart (if you don’t hit that point with a friend, are you truly FRIENDS lets be real), but we always bounce back cause that’s our relationship. We suffer hell in League, we used to rp all the fucking time (which yknow we need to do more again hell yeah), we’re close. 

@ryusxnka || OH BOY, is it more Caleb Love Hours? Well if anyone has been around this blog long enough, you all know I love my brother. That’s all there is to it: I’d not be here today without him. I wouldn’t even  be able to show my FACE on this site ever again if not for him, and god I love him to death. He’s amazing, okay? He’s OBSESSED with Toshiro Hitsugaya, of course, but he’s also just the best with him okay? His writing is spectacular, god, Caleb is literally HITSUGAYA INCARNATE. He’s super good hearted, he’s smart, he’s funny. He’s just a great brother, and I love him t o death, okay? I probably sound like a broken record, but it’s true.

@pcrdiseseekers || OH BOY, it’s JAZZY love hours! So let’s take a long trip down Memory Lane, cause fuck me, Jazz here is one of my OLDEST friends at this point. Hard to believe it too, cause I remember Jazz when she was but a weeeee Naoto Shirogane blog back in the day, far before her love for Multi-muses, and her love for Kyouko Kirigiri. God, back in the day, I used to be SO terrified of her. And we all know, and I can hear it now, ‘Wolf, buddy, you’re ALWAYS terrified of people!’ Well, I’ve gotten a lot better: someone literally had to GO TO JAZZ HERSELF and tell her, for us to first interact, it was that bad. (No, I didn’t even plan that, and goddddd, I was a fucking mess when they did.) And lo and behold, ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER now, always someone I come back to, and cling to like she’s my own flesh and blood. Jazz, I love you to death. I truly do. And you are just absolutely spectacular. It’s hilarious how long we’ve known one another, and I don’t regret a single day: you’ve given me some of the BEST rps over the years as we FULLY TORE DOWN poor Kyouko into Kaneki’s queen, how Homura fell for Centipede, Kyouko studied Ichigo, Yang and Adam had their forbidden, ESTRANGED relationship. God, we’ve done so much over the years, and I look back on it all so many days nowadays and go ‘jeez, to relive it all again.’ Here’s to more years of good times, huh? 

@shuanghe || Valkyrie. My big sister. My darling, sweet guardian practically. God...she’s my rock. My anchor. She’s so much to me, and another person I love with all my heart. Much like the people before me, she’s a great mix of Writing, and Personal feelings, who has been with me for many years now. And I truly am grateful to have her in my life. 

@sung56sun || Kianye, so little we’ve known one another now, and yet it feels like we’ve known eachother  for an eternity already. And it’s you, you specifically, who makes me feel it’s OKAY to gush about my darling muses. I won’t lie, even on my own blog, I feel I talk too much about my OWN characters, and it’s you who makes me think on that, and go ‘stop that, you’re being dumb’. Others have tried to tell me the same, but it’s the constant FERVENT LOVE and ATTENTION you throw us, that truly make it hit home. And for that, I’m forever grateful for how much you love Akame, and, incidentally, how well we get along. You’re dear to me, and you’re stuck with us~

@bonesugar || Asa, Asa Asa Asa, such a darling you are. Your writing, your descriptions of your replies, the way you make such a BEAUTIFUL girl like Sucrose so endearing, so amazing, I truly admire. Just like Kianye, I’ve known you for so little, and yet I have adored every moment we talk. And I look forward to more and more in the future of us chatting, rping, and gaming together. 

@erobret || Ferrrrrrgie. Oh man, much like Jazzy, I’ve known Fergie for fucking years. It’s hilarious how long we’ve known one another, and just like Jazzy, she’s always been a fantastic friend. We lost touch for a while because I had to vanish for a bit, but then I found her again, and well. Reliving old memories, and rping again, is amazing. Chatting with Fergie is great, and just. Fergie is great, okay? I really can’t formulate the words without just reusing at this point more of what I’ve already said. 

@jiingweii || Sophieeeeee. My dearest, my twisted friend. My soft and squishy marshmallow friend. My busy little friend. Even though we don’t talk as much anymore as life happens to the both of us, you are still DEAR to my heart, and I wish every day is wonderful to you. I love seeing you on my dash from all  your blogs, and you are a joy to see, and hear, from always. I truly would not have kept Akame all this time if not for you: it was you who put the most faith in my girl, who gave me the confidence to keep her going. And I am forever grateful for that. Because now she is my most loved, and used, muse, without a doubt. 

     Okay, this is going to get SUPER long if I don’t stop somewhere, so down below? Is a bunch of other people I could rant on about, but I don’t want to be typing a twenty five page ESSAY even though I could and flood the dash worse. 

@medinventive || @nulltune || @unhclyblood || @remunporium || @curiouskinetic || @lucernarosa || @luckuki || @ichigokurosaki || @destallo || @maljefe || @nosheath || @karmesinrot || @mamoriitai || @veroxins || @x-ame-x-damnee-x || @noircisaint || @retour || @shukuchiisms || @redhorncl || @zhuangshii || @babelmedicus || @amourise || @evelicious || @risingsol || @electric-ecclectic || @electricea || @dementedstatic || @pervicax || @lunaetis || @darksonofsparda || @capravulpes || @stahri-light || @charmerquilled || @rebelquilled || @batoushoujo || @phantarei || @hutaou || @popolaroleplayhub || @devotionobsessed || @amazingwcbs || @algizkali || @baizhuo || @nexarerum

[thunderheadfred]

💥Bakugou HC's💥

Aged-up pro hero Katsuki for all of these. Some NSFW beneath the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

He’s scary good at everything he tries. Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. It’s infuriating. Has zero patience when other people can’t immediately master a skill. Never let him teach you anything. Not that he’d offer, nerd.

He WILL offer, though. A lot. He can’t believe you still can’t Do That Thing. Tsh. Like THIS. You're gonna hurt yourself, Dummy.

But hold on. Of course you have unique skills of your own. You work hard to improve yourself. Trust me, he's the first person to notice. He doesn't praise anyone lightly, so when he raises his eyebrows and whispers he's impressed, your heart will go thermonuclear.

Perfect spelling and fully punctuated texts. Never uses abbreviations. Employs a grand total of four emojis, all of them angry faces. Constantly leaves you on read. He's busy, dammit.

Doesn’t smile or laugh in public (except sarcastically). His real smile is a crooked, fragile thing. Never make him feel self-conscious about it, or you might not see it again for weeks.

He does not talk about his private life to the press. Ever. Will K.O. rookie reporters who can't keep their big mouths shut.

HOweVER: he's intensely kind to his fans. There is a whole photographic sub-genre of little girls in cosplay hugging Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight like he's a Disney Princess.

Too smart for his own good. Emotionally hyper-vigilant. Overthinks every interaction to hell and back. Will act like he's not listening but actually hears every single word in a ten-block radius.

INSECURE AF. 110% convinced he will never be good enough. Terrified of his loved ones leaving him behind. Does he do anything to assuage his fears? Like... talk to anyone about it? Hell no. That would require admitting he has fears to begin with.

Seeing people upset makes him upset, especially if he doesn't know how to fix it.

The epitome of being mean because he cares. He genuinely does not seem to comprehend that monosyllabic grunts and lopsided shrugs are not actually that comforting.

Because he was such a brat growing up, he wants to make up for it now. Sort of. In his own way. Look, he's trying, okay?

He smells - so - good. Obscenely good. He doesn't wear cologne; are you joking? There's the burnt-sugar caramel candy smell of his quirk, for starters. And since he sweats deadly ammunition, he showers and wipes himself down almost constantly. He always smells clean. Like a fucking meadow.

Never got that growth spurt he was hoping for. He’s a short man - not even THAT short - but he has a Napoleon complex anyway. If you’re taller than him, the collars of your shirts will all be stretched out. He’s constantly dragging you down to his level. He will assert himself all the fucking time; the pissing contest is never-ending. Don’t wear tall shoes unless you want him to drag you around on a leash. If you’re shorter than him, that’s good. That’s very good. He likes that.

He’s an incredible cook, but everything he makes is a nuclear fire challenge. Adapt or starve.

- - - - -

Dating

Makes artisanal, nutritionally flawless bento lunches for both of you. When people assume his S.O. makes them, he gets fucking pissed. Damn right your co-workers are jealous of my cooking.

Your pet name is Dummy. Don’t like it? Fine. You can be dumbass.

There will be zero PDA in this relationship. His hands are shoved so deep in his pockets you can’t even try.

Intensely private with the press. But with his friends, he will brag about you nonstop. Bakugou Katsuki has the most talented and attractive and intelligent S.O., and anyone who doesn't recognize that is blind. Were you assholes even listening?

A mutual buddy definitely recorded one of these drunken brag-rants and sent it to you for safekeeping. Do not let Katsuki find out about it, unless you enjoy having an ash pile for a phone.

Gets jealous about everything, at least at the start. He calms down eventually. Kinda. He stops saying shit to you about it, anyway, because he learns to trust you. But anyone who so much as looks at you in a too-friendly manner will get the death stare of a lifetime.

He’ll throw all kinds of temper tantrums and the two of you will argue about every tiny fucking thing. He’ll scream out car windows, he’ll ball up his shirt and gnash on it. But he will never raise his voice at you. He’d rather die than make you feel unsafe.

Honestly, the constant bickering is really just... uhh... passionate communication. Eventually you both hash out the important things. You'll learn how to step around his landmines and actually make your points, and he'll learn to open up. A little.

Once you meet his mom, Katsuki starts to make a lot more sense. His family just... emotes like that. Eventually, you and his dad form a spousal support group consisting of exactly two lifetime members. He teaches you the Bakugou family semaphore you need to survive a long-term relationship.

Katsuki can dish it out but absolutely cannot take it. The only person who can level with him about serious issues without explosive fallout is his dad. Or, on a lucky day, Kirishima.

If you give him a legitimate criticism (even gently!) he will take it about as gracefully as a knife to the gut, because it confirms everything he hates about himself.

To your never-ending shock, you’ve made him cry. Yes, CRY! You monster! More than once! His lip gets all *trembly* and his eyes get all *watery* and all you want to do is hug him, but. No. He’ll storm out and wander around for a few hours before coming back with the problem perfectly solved.

He always takes your advice to heart. No, he will NOT talk about it, stop asking.

Gets mad if you don’t snuggle him on the regular. Will drag you into his lap with a pissy little grunt. There might be two seats on this couch but you will not be needing both of them.

Takes pictures of you while you sleep.

Takes even more pictures of you when you're awake but think he's out of the room.

He looks at all these pictures when he's away on high-stakes jobs. He gets all bleary eyed and sleeps in a salty puddle without you. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

You don’t have to meet him at the door or anything, but when he says “I’m home,” you’d better answer fast. If he doesn’t know your precise location in 0.05 seconds, he will assume you’ve been kidnapped. He never checks the fridge for notes. Never assumes you've gone down to the konbini for a snack. No, it’s kidnapping every time.

A terrrrrrible bed partner. He goes to bed at senior citizen hours and will never fuck you after sundown. He snores SO loud. Runs hot and sweats through the sheets. Slaps and elbows you in his sleep and aggressively spoons you with his loud, sweaty body. You WILL want to suffocate him. Separate bedrooms aren’t such a horrible idea......

BUT HANG ON, because in the morning he transforms into an honest-to-god angel. He's half awake, his guard is non-existent. Morning Katsuki is a doting kissy-faced marshmallow man.

If you can wake up before the ass-crack of dawn, he will pamper the fuck out of you. You are royalty for one (1) hour only, and he is your bleary-eyed slave. You want a cuddlefuck? You got it. Hugs? Kisses? Take as many as you need. You want a perfect, fluffy, NON-SPICY omelette with a heart drawn in ketchup? Here it is, gorgeous.

Then he gets in the shower and the spell is broken.

- - - - -

💥bang BANG💥

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: this here is an ASS. MAN. He'll spank you with his quirk; doesn’t matter if you’ve been good or bad. Wants to see you wince when you sit down later.

Likes pounding you face down with a vice grip on your waist.

Unfortunately, even with all that said... he doesn't exactly have the feral beast sex drive you were expecting. He’s married to his work and has the fuddy-duddy habits of a once and future valedictorian. Only fucks you when he has the time and energy to fully dedicate himself to it.

But ohhhh. Shit. When it's time? It's TIME. The man will rush for nothing. Stamina for days. Making you cum as many times as possible is a point of pride. Yeah, you passed out once.

You’re gonna need those days off when he’s done with you.

That dick THICC.

Sends unsolicited dick pics. Only after you’ve been dating a good long while - he doesn't show that shit to just anyone. But yeah, don’t check your phone at work. He won't cum without you; those pictures and videos are time bombs. You better get home. Now.

Physically dominant as FUCK, but won’t verbally degrade you unless you ask. Well, let’s be honest. Unless you beg.

Praise him and reap the rewards. A long hard ego stroking will get him off more than touching his cock ever will.

Will grab your hair and fuck your throat. Will also stop immediately if you need him to.

The two of you have safe words and gestures. Even for vanilla stuff. He’s paranoid about scaring or hurting you. He insisted you both sign a color-coded ‘love contract’ that he meticulously formatted in a word processor. When you gave him guff about it, his blush was the darkest crimson you’d ever seen.

Coin-flip: he will sometimes be unbelievably gentle in bed. Doting and affectionate, taking perfect care of you. Like, it’s baffling. There’s no warning, the switch just flips. When you want him to be extra-rough and mean, he’ll sweetly worship you instead. For hours.

Bonus: he likes being penetrated. But of course he’s got a complex about that too. Super intense power bottom. You will never fuck him hard enough. He’d like to see you try. Hit his prostate just right and he might literally explode.

You'll live happily ever after but he will say he loves you out loud exactly once. Maybe. If you're lucky. And you're both about to die.

[dreamerstreamer]

Toxic Taste

Pairing: Dream / Clay x gn!reader

Summary: [Dream SMP!AU] It's a perfect day for a picnic with your friends. Well, it seems like one until you suddenly fall very ill.

Warnings: very minor cursing

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: this was requested by @amintyworld​! everyone just loves protective dream, don’t they? i had fun exploring this concept, and i hope you enjoy!

You hummed, fixing your hair in the mirror before giving yourself one last once over, nodding to yourself. Looks good. Just then, you heard the door swing open behind you, creaking with a quiet groan. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

“Hey, are you ready to go?”

Whirling around, your hand quickly grabbed the woven basket on the table beside you as you flashed Clay a bright grin, bounding over to his side with a skip in your step. “I am, now.”

Without having to say another word, he lifted his arm toward you, and you looped yours through his, your fingers tightening around the basket handle. The two of you stepped outside together, locking the door behind you before making your way down the oak path. Above you, only a few clouds dotted the cerulean blue sky, drifting along the gentle spring breeze.

It really was a perfect day for a picnic.

Turning, you cast a curious glance over at Clay. “Are you excited to see what everyone brought?”

He bobbed his head, his lips quirking up into a wicked grin. “Yeah—I can’t wait to make fun of whatever George made.”

You frowned, shooting him an unimpressed look. “George is a good chef in his own right,” you chided.

His smile widened, reaching over to gently tap your nose. “Yeah, but you’re the best.” He patted your basket cover, his viridian gaze swirling with mirth. “They’re gonna love your cookies.”

You rolled your eyes at him, snorting, but he didn’t miss the way your lips twitched. “You just say that because you’re my boyfriend.”

He hummed. “Just because I’m biased doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

You raised your brows at him. “Oh? So you admit that you’re biased?”

Leaning over, he brushed his lips against yours in a peck, pulling back with a dazzling grin. “Of course,” he murmured in that soft tone that made your cheeks grow hot, “without a doubt.”

You swallowed, trying to calm your frantically beating heart. “You’re so cheesy,” you said, adopting a passive tone, “no more dilly-dallying, now. We have a picnic to get to.”

He sent you a crooked smile. “Okay, okay.” His eyes flashed. “I’ll race you.”

“Huh, wh—?”

Before you could even process what was happening, he had suddenly bolted, his arm leaving yours. Almost immediately, your body yearned for the warmth of his pressed against yours, and you found yourself stumbling after him.

“Wait, Clay!” you called after him, your basket bouncing beside you as you watched him crest over the grassy hill. “That’s not fair! Get back here!”

He only turned to shoot you a goofy grin, laughter bubbling on his lips as he disappeared from view, his hoodie fading to nothing more than a tiny speck of green among the swaying blades of grass. You couldn’t stop the laughter from spilling from your lips, bursting from your chest like fireworks.

“You are so dead when I catch up to you!”

He called back over the horizon. “If you ever!”

Your grin only grew wider.

Oh, he was so dead.

“Your bread sucks.”

You gasped, lightly smacking Clay’s chest. “Clay!” Whipping around, you sent George an earnest grin. “George, I think your bread is wonderful.”

Beside you, Tommy made a face, setting his slice down on his plate with a disgusted glance. “Nah, I agree with Big D. This bread is pretty shit.”

Now, it was Wilbur’s turn to gasp. “Tommy!”

Tommy’s brows knit together as he scowled. “What? I’m just telling the truth.”

George let out a long groan, his glasses threatening to slide off the crown of his head as he hung his face in his hands. “I am never baking, again.”

In an instant, Niki was on her feet, flailing her arms. “No, no, no! Don’t say that—baking can be a lot of fun!” She paused for a moment, then her eyes lit up. “I can teach you a new sourdough recipe, if you’d like!”

George lifted his head, blinking at her with wide, hopeful eyes. “You would?”

She nodded, a bright smile tugging at her lips. “Of course!”

Sapnap snorted, taking another bite of steak. “I can’t believe you have to learn from someone else how to make good bread.”

George groaned again, glowering at his supposed best friend. “Why is everyone ganging up on me, today?”

Clay was quick to butt in. “Haven’t you heard? It’s National Be Mean to George Day.”

Tubbo blinked, confusion clouding his features. “That’s not a real holi—” He paused, then gasped. “Oh, wait.” He grinned. “Never mind.”

George’s glare only intensified, and he sighed. “Niki, forget it.”

While Niki practically shriveled into a puddle, Wilbur spoke up, offering him a reassuring smile. “Well, I think your bread is delicious, George. Genuinely.”

George flashed him a thankful grin, adjusting the glasses on his head. “Thank you, Wilbur.”

Letting out another laugh, you leaned back against Clay’s side, his arm firmly wrapped around your waist as you snuggled against him. Your friends were always up to weird antics, and while you didn’t necessarily agree with their actions, you were willing to indulge in them, if only to see what would happen next. In front of you, you gingerly picked up the half-eaten fish skewer from your plate, lifting it to your lips as you took another bite. It was sweet, and vaguely tasted like saltwater, but you liked it. It was unique, in its own weird way.

You watched as Clay reached across the patterned blanket for the plate of cookies you had brought, gingerly picking one up. Glancing up at him, you opened your mouth. “Do you actually think George’s bread is bad?” you asked softly. “Or are you just trying to rile him up?”

He paused, the cookie halfway to his mouth, then shrugged, biting in. “It’s a bit of both. It isn’t half-bad, I guess.” He shot you a cheeky wink. “Yours is still better, though.”

You groaned, feeling your face grow warm. “Stop that.”

He tilted his head at you, a cocky grin spreading across his face as he chewed. “Stop what?” he said, leaning in close to you. “Being honest?”

You did your best to send him a glare, but you knew it was half-hearted at best. “Yes.”

His grin widened, his eyes glimmering with affectionate arrogance. “Never.”

As his eyes locked onto yours, you felt your glare melt away. With a small hum, he dipped his head to yours, pressing his mouth to yours with a smile. His tongue lapped at your lips, and you grinned back. He tasted like chocolate chips and sunshine. You pulled back with a quiet gasp, your cheeks burned with heat as his emerald eyes bore into yours, crinkling at the corners.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he whispered for you and you alone.

Your heart swelled. “I love you, too.”

He stared at you for a moment longer, then pressed his forehead against yours, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Also,” he added, “you taste like fish.”

You sent him a horrified look before smacking his arm again, your heart flipping as he wheezed at your reaction. “S-Shut up!”

He only wheezed harder in response, and despite your embarrassment, you felt a smile tugging on your lips. That was the thing about Clay that got you every time—as much as he would tease you and make your heart go wild in your chest, you knew he meant every single thing he told you. He was just so sincere like that, and it made you want to sink straight into him.

God, you were so, so in love.

Just then, a howl pulled you away from your attack on Clay. You turned to see Quackity, his mouth agape as he pointed at Niki, a bewildered look plastered to her face. “Niki!” he screamed. “You brought cake?”

She blinked, stunned for only a moment before she smiled, nodding. “Yeah! It’s homemade and has vanilla frosting.”

Quackity immediately sank down to one knee, one hand outstretched toward her as he said dramatically, “Marry me.”

Niki’s smile didn’t falter for even a second. “No thanks.”

Quackity’s arm dropped, and he let out a whine. “Damn, you didn’t have to say it so quickly.” Crossing his arms over his chest, he sat down with a pout. “You could have at least pretended to think about it.”

You all burst into laughter, giggling as Niki simply set her cake down on the blanket next to George’s bread. Wilbur had brought three watermelons—how he carted them over by himself, you had no idea—while Tommy brought pork chops. Tubbo had also caught fish for the occasion while Sapnap packed steak. Meanwhile, Quackity had carried a sack of apples over to the picnic, but you had a feeling he may or may not have stolen them, since he didn’t exactly own an apple orchard of his own.

You opened your mouth to ask for a slice of Niki’s cake when you suddenly froze, a bolt of what felt like lightning tingling up your spine. Your head spun, and you could have sworn your vision darkened at the edges. An uneasy pit grew in your stomach, and you frowned. Why do I feel so... strange?

Pushing yourself forward slightly, you tried to sit up straight, only to feel your arms wobble before you crashed back into Clay’s side once more. In a flash, his arms were around you, holding you steady as his green eyes peered down at yours.

“Hey,” he said, his tone growing serious, “are you okay?” He wrinkled his brow. “You look a little off.”

You blinked, feeling your stomach churn with uneasiness. “I’m, um—I feel kind of sick.”

Without an ounce of hesitation, Clay was on his feet, stretching his arm out to you. “Here, let me help you up.”

You slipped your hand into his, doing your best to hang on tight as he tugged you upward. You expected to simply stand on your own two feet just as you would in any other situation, but the moment you were up, you suddenly felt your knees buckle beneath you, your legs going numb. You gasped as your feet went flying out under you, your fingers digging onto Clay’s palm.

“Clay—!”

With a whirl, his arms held you to his chest, your sides shaking. A rush of anxiety rolled through you, and you looked down, desperately trying to move your foot, only to find that you couldn’t. It remained as still as a rock, and you wanted to cry.

“[Y/N],” Clay breathed, his hand on your face as he supported your weight with his other arm, “what’s wrong?” His eyes desperately searched yours for any clue as to what was happening, but all you could manage was a broken, choked whisper.

“Clay, I—” You swallowed, your hands trembling around his arm while something stung at the back of your eyes. “I can’t move my legs.”

He froze, his voice dropping to a deadly low whisper. “You what?”

You shook your head, hanging onto him for dear life. The spinning had gotten worse now, and you felt sicker and sicker by the second. “I-I don’t know, I don’t feel good and something’s wrong and—Clay,” you breathed, tears welling up in your eyes, “I’m scared.” Your heart pounded in your chest, but for all the wrong reasons. “Am I going to die?”

His gaze hardened, filling with determination as his hold around you tightened. “No,” he said without even an inkling of doubt, “you’re not.”

Before you could react, he suddenly swung one arm beneath your numb legs, easily hoisting you up so that you were carefully pressed against his chest. You gasped as your friends’ eyes landed on you, their faces full of worry as your head lolled against Clay’s shoulder.

“Everyone,” he said, his voice booming across the field, “there’s something wrong with the food.” His eyes narrowed. “Don’t eat it.”

He turned his head, dipping his head toward George as he said, “George, I need you to get me as many regeneration potions and golden apples as you can, ASAP.”

George was on his feet as fast as he could, already turning on his heel. “I’m on it,” he shouted as he took off, already booking it down the hill.

Finally, Tubbo spoke up, asking the one question that had been on everyone’s mind. “Dream, what’s going on?”

Clay’s eyes darkened, and you could just barely feel his hands tighten around you while your vision swam.

“[Y/N]’s been poisoned.”

Wilbur gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth. “Oh my god.”

Sapnap whipped his head around, gazing at the once serene picnic blanket with sheer terror. “What the fu—”

Suddenly, your hand shot up to grip Clay’s collar, his eyes immediately darting to yours. You gasped, your head absolutely throbbing as your heart rammed against your rib cage all too quickly. You opened your mouth, your spit tasting like salt and ash.

“Clay, I—”

The words died in your mouth as the world went dark, enveloping you in cold darkness.

You awoke with a start, bolting upright as you gasped, the cool air flooding your aching lungs. Immediately, you felt your stomach churn in retaliation, and your skull practically screamed at you to lie back down again. Slamming a hand over your eye, you felt the spinning of your head slowly fade away. Disoriented and dizzy, the blurriness of your vision began to lift as you blinked, taking in the sight of the room around you.

You didn’t recognize the windowsill at your side or the mattress you were lying on. The closed door stared back at you as your gaze swept over it, almost as if it knew you were confused. Not even the sheets looked familiar.

Where... am I?

You swallowed, something sharp and uneasy prickling up your spine.

What happened?

Your eyelids fluttered shut, and you tried to recall the events that had led you up to this moment.

You remembered... cookies. And a picnic. Clay’s hand in yours. There was food, and laughter. Then suddenly, you were queasy. Sick. Something wasn’t right. Then... nothing.

You blanched. Did I pass out?

Just then, you heard the door click, the hinges swinging open with a creak. Your eyes flew open and your breath hitched in your throat, and you turned, your fingers curling tighter into the sheets. Your eyes went wide as Clay walked in, one hand on the handle and the other holding an apple. The moment his eyes met yours, he froze.

“Clay?” you whispered, your voice sounding hoarse.

The apple dropped to the ground.

In an instant, he was in front of you with his hands on your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks. His emerald eyes bore straight into yours with an intensity that sent your heart reeling. The words flew from his mouth in a flurry, his gaze never leaving yours.

“How are you feeling? Can you hear me? Is everything feeling alrig—”

“Woah, woah,” you said, waving your hand to cue him to stop, “what happened?”

His fingers trembled against your cheeks, and you could have sworn his eyes flashed with something wet. “[Y/N], oh, I’m—” He swallowed, his neck bobbing as he sent you a grateful smile. “I’m just so glad that you’re here.”

His hands pulled away from your face as he stood upright once more, heading for the open door. “Here, I’ll be back in a second.”

You raised your hand toward him, opening your mouth to say something, but he was already gone, having disappeared down the hall in a flash. Blinking, you sat stunned and even more confused than before, left only to wait and hope for an explanation once he returned.

Hardly even two minutes passed before you heard the rumbling of footsteps racing toward the open door. You squeaked when a series of faces filled the room, their cheeks red and chests heaving as they caught their breath. Clay immediately shuffled back to your side, slipping into the space on the bed next to you before grabbing your hand, squeezing.

“[Y/N]!” Niki cried, her eyes filled with panic. “Are you okay?”

Beside her, Tubbo’s hands shook at his side. “We only just heard from Dream that you were awake.”

You opened your mouth, then closed it, your mind still hazy with everything that had just happened. Struggling to come up with an answer, you found yourself blurting the first words that came to mind. “How long has it been?”

You saw George shoot Sapnap a look, shrugging his shoulders before glancing back at you. “Uh, like, half a day.”

You shot forward, gaping. “Half a day?!”

Tommy flashed you a bright grin, leaning against Tubbo’s shoulder with a teasing look. “Yeah, you should have seen Dream run around! He spoon fed you regeneration potions and probably even read three whole fuckin’ libraries’ worth of books on poison antidotes while you wer—”

A hand suddenly smacked into Tommy’s skull, and he yelped. Behind him,  Wilbur scowled. “Tommy!” he scolded. There was a soft giggle, then Wilbur whirled, his eyes narrowing. “And Quackity.” The giggles stopped. “Don’t think I didn’t see you laughing. This is serious.”

There was a slight pause. “Okay, but it is funn—”

“[Y/N],” Clay suddenly said, cutting Tommy off as his hand squeezed yours.

You blinked, trying to ignore how low his voice sounded right about now. “Y-Yeah?”

He cocked his head at you, gesturing to the sheets covering your lower half. “Can you move your legs?”

“Um...” Lifting an arm, you flung the sheets off of you, carefully shifting your leg back and forth. “Y-Yeah. I’m still feeling kind of funny, though.” You wrinkled your nose. “I’m not sure if I can stand, yet.”

He frowned, his eyebrows furrowing as he ran a hand through his hair. “Damn. I had a feeling this would happen, but I still wished it wouldn’t.”

Quackity took a step forward, his hand outstretched toward you. “Here, [Y/N], try—”

A snarl ripped itself out of Clay’s throat, and his shout echoed off the walls. “Don’t touch them!”

A tense silence immediately fell over the room, and Quackity back-pedalled, pulling his hand back as if he had burned it on hot coal. You watched as a pang of guilt shot across Clay’s face before he sighed. “Sorry, I mean—” He shook his head, lowering his head. “Fuck.”

Sapnap sent him a small smile, sincere and reassuring. “Hey, man,” he said softly, “it’s alright. We get it. You’re stressed. I’d react the same way if I was in your position.”

Clay raised his chin a little, his lips quirking. “Thanks, Sap.”

Wilbur suddenly spoke up, his eyes trained on you. “Dream, I think we still have some questions we should ask.”

Clay blinked, then nodded. “Right, thanks, Wilbur.” Clearing his throat, he turned to face you head on.” Do you still remember the picnic?” When you nodded, he continued. “Did anything out of the ordinary happen?”

You paused, then shook your head. “Not that I can remember. I woke up, packed up a basket, walked over to the field with you, ate with everyone, then...” You gestured vaguely. “Well, y’know.”

His gaze hardened. “What did you eat?”

You thought for a moment. “Um, I ate an apple, and I had two slices of George’s bread.” You paused again, furrowing your brows. Then, your eyes lit up. “Oh, and I also ate some of the fish.”

Clay stared at you. “Fish?” he parroted.

You bobbed your head, humming. “Yeah. That’s about as much as I remember.”

There was a brief moment of silence, and you could practically see the gears turning in Clay’s head. “Did anyone else here eat the fish?” he finally said after a while.

Your friends cast curious looks at one another before George raised his hand, shaking his head. “No.” He jutted his head toward you. “[Y/N] was the first and only person to, I believe.”

Clay pursed his lips. “Tubbo.”

Tubbo jumped, looking panicked and shaky as he stammered out, “Y-Yes, Dream?”

Clay narrowed his eyes. “Who exactly brought the fish?”

Tubbo gulped. “Uh, it, um, ah—” He inhaled sharply at the look on Clay’s face, then sighed. “I did, Dream.”

For a moment, it was quiet. Then, Clay sighed, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Oh, it all makes sense now.”

Now, it was Tommy’s turn to speak, his expression clouded with confusion. “How the fuck does that make this make any more sense than it did before?”

Clay suddenly slipped his hand out of yours, your palm meeting nothing as he rose to his full height. You felt the air grow cold.

“Tubbo,” he said slowly, casually—almost too casually. A crooked, charming smile spread across his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “What kind of fish was it?”

Tubbo lowered his gaze to the ground. “Pufferfish,” he said in a tiny whisper.

Tommy stared. “Oh.” Understanding flickered across his face before being replaced by horror. “Oh.”

Clay took a step forward, the grin never leaving his face. “Tubbo—”

Your hand shot forward, grabbing onto his wrist before he could take another step. His arm was tense underneath your touch, but he stopped the moment your skin met his. “Clay,” you said quickly, your words rushed and hurried, “stop, please.”

He turned, looking back at you over his shoulder. You shook your head at him. “I’m sure it was an accident. Tubbo would never poison anyone deliberately, let alone me.”

You heard a soft hiccup, then Tubbo spoke. “I-I wouldn’t, I swear it! I just... I thought cooking pufferfish would make them less toxic for other people.”

Niki raised her hand, her face pleading as her eyes darted back and forth between Dream and Tubbo. “I can vouch for him, and not just because we’re friends. He might have built up his own tolerance for pufferfish poison, but I don’t think he realized just how bad it could turn out to be.”

Tubbo nodded frantically, looking smaller than ever as he finally lifted his head. “Seriously, Dream, I would never do it intentionally, I promise.” He turned to look at you, his sides shaking as your gaze met his.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N],” he whispered, honesty and desperation soaking into every syllable he spoke, “I really am.”

Your face softened immediately, and you could only hope he knew how sincere you were being. “I forgive you, Tubbo.” Your eyes flit to the man in front of you. “Do you, Clay?”

You couldn’t see his expression from where you were sitting, but the look of terror on Tubbo’s face said it all. “Yes,” he said, “but only because you do.”

Your grip around his wrist tightened. “Clay, I’m positive. Please, just let it be.” You tugged a little, and he turned, watching as you kicked your legs at him with a small smile. “I’m all better now, see?”

The coldness in his gaze finally seemed to melt, and he shook his head at you, his lips twitching. “Fine.” Walking back over to you, you tucked your legs back against you as he sat on the bed, levelling a glare at the crowd gathered in front of you. “Now everyone, get out.”

There was a whistle. “Jeez, aggressive mu—”

“Tommy,” Wilbur said again, already tugging at the blond’s collar as he tread toward the hall, “an angry Dream is not someone you want to mess with.”

Tommy glowered as everyone filed out of the room, his voice fading away as they disappeared outside. “Ugh, you are such a killjo—”

Sapnap sent you a friendly smile as his hand wrapped around the door handle. “I hope you feel better soon, [Y/N].”

You returned his grin with a grateful look. “Thanks, Sapnap.”

With one last wave, he pulled the door shut, leaving you alone with Clay. Shifting forward slightly, you swung your legs off the bed, nudging him with your side. “Clay?” you murmured, your eyes searching his face. It was at times like this he was easier to read.

With a sigh, he hung his head in his hands, the vein in his neck bulging out. “God, I know he means well, but I still kind of want to wring Tubbo’s neck, right now.”

You leaned against him, pressing your cheek to his bicep. “Clay, don’t say that.”

He lifted his head, growling. “I know, I know! It’s just—”

He bit his lip, then sighed again, his arm reaching up to pull you onto his lap. Shifting you around so that you were facing him, his leaned his forehead against yours, his hot breath tickling your skin.

“You don’t know how scared I was,” he whispered, sincere and true. “I never want to lose you. Ever.”

Heat crawled up your neck, and your head spun, but not for the same reasons as before. “C-Clay.”

His hand stroked along your back. “It’s the truth, y’know? I’d never lie to you, and I mean every word.” Leaning upward, he pressed his lips to your forehead as he spoke, the words shaking against your skin. “You mean more to me than you may ever know.”

You hummed, your heart blossoming in your chest. “Even if that’s the case,” you said, “you don’t need to be so upset, anymore.” You felt his lips leave your forehead, and you peered up at him through your lashes. “I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

You leaned back in his arms, reaching up to brush your fingertips over his freckles. A soft smile tugged at your lips as you watched him melt a little at the gesture. “Now,” you said, quiet yet firm, “promise me you won’t be mad at Tubbo the next time you see him.”

He blinked. “W-What?”

You pursed your lips. “Clay.”

He chuckled. “Alright, alright. I promise.” A sly grin slipped onto his face. “But only if...”

You raised a brow at him. “Only if...?”

You half-wanted to smack the stupid grin off his stupidly perfect face. “Only if you give me a kiss.”

You giggled, slipping your arms over his shoulder and around his neck. He always knew how to make you laugh, even at serious times like this. Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his in a sweet kiss. He still tasted like freshly squeezed lemonade, gleaming in the light of the sweet summer sun. You felt him smile against you, and you pulled away mirroring his expression.

“There,” you whispered, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Does that seal the deal?”

He hummed, tilting his head at you while mischief danced in his eyes. “Maybe you should do it again just to make sure.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but couldn’t stop the giddy smile from spreading across your face.

Your picnic may have been a disaster, but you wouldn’t mind ending your days wrapped in Clay’s arms more often.