#giant yikes

[shadsasaur]

i am having a day

when we were trying to find a fix for one of my Various Ailments it turned out my eye is slightly off and i could go for a glasses. so today mom decides to come along for my month-post-checkup checkup to have a look at glasses with me.

on the way back to my place she mentions her phone said something about airtags. she drops me off, then comes back inside to show me her phone and the tag thing. we go out and experiment with the popup and realize we can make an tag beep. it is coming from inside the jeep. we cannot find anything inside. we crawl on the ground under. the noise is absolutely coming form the jeep, somewhere around the right rear wheel, on the outside. we cannot fucking find anything.

mom has nothing of value and no drama. there would be no reason to track and rob her. we realize the app says the tag has been on her since 5:46am.. which was about when her partner left for 3 weeks on the oil rigs 🙃

we spend two fucking hours searching [lex coming home and getting his gear to really get in] and as best as we can figure, having oil rig money means you dont care about the cost of an airpod and just shoved it in the jeep's body so it could neither be found nor retrieved. he kept calling while we were looking and she didnt answer.

we dont know what to do. i was trying to convince her to let me answer and say "SORRY, MOMS UNDER THE JEEP RN. YEAH SOMEONE'S PUT A TRACKER ON HER CAR, WHICH IS A COMMON WAY ROBBERS FOLLOW YOU HOME AN HIT YOUR HOUSE, SO WE'RE TRYING TO FIND IT TO GIVE IT TO THE COPS SINCE IT TRACKS THE PHONE NUMBER OF WHO OWNS IT! BYEEEE :D " to make him shit his pants but she wouldnt let me 🙃

anyways shoutout to moms shitty bf who apparently can buy an airtag but not read "if this thing is on a person who doesnt own it for a bit, they get an alert that its there with the ability to track its location and see a map of how long it's travelled with them"

[luhman16]

i boiled my forearm while making this /srs

[yikesharringrove]

Billy gets his curls from his mom.

Of course he does. Everything he actually likes about himself is mostly just because of her.

(And everything Neil despises about him is mostly just because of her.)

She didn’t leave many things when she left.

But, she left a dove grey scarf. A soft soil one that she would use to tie up her hair before she went to bed.

She told Billy it made her curls smoother, more defined, less frizzy.

Billy had forgotten about it. It was actually Steve that had found it in a box of miscellaneous items Billy was refusing to unpack, even after being in Hawkins for nearly six months.

Steve had let the cool silk run between his fingers.

“What’s this?” He asked, and Billy always likes how Steve can keep his voice even. Nonjudgmental.

“Scarf.”

Billy’s heart had tightened at the view of that scarf. He had forgotten about it.

“Why do you have it?”

“My mom. It was her’s.��

Steve just gave him a doe-eyed look, holding the scarf in front of him like some kind of precious artifact of Billy’s fucked up life.

“She used to wear them to bed. Tie her hair up, you know? She said it made her curls better.”

It always did. Her hair was always so beautiful. Sometimes she and Billy would sit in the back yard, in the soft grass, and she would brush out her hair. And they’d laugh at how huge it would get, but it was always as soft as the silk that Steve was holding.

Steve smiled, sitting down in front of Billy on his bed.

It was a rare moment of having the house to themselves.

Steve had parked three blocks away and walked, ducking around the back of the neighbor’s house to sneak in Billy’s window.

He reached up, clumsily tying the scarf around Billy’s head, tucking his hair in.

“There.” He smiled brightly, leaning forward to press a kiss to Billy’s heated cheek.

Billy started sleeping with the scarf.

Not only because his curls got better, (smoother, more defined, less frizzy, just like she always said) and not only because Steve liked to play with the thick ringlets, but because he missed her. He missed his mom every goddamn day of his goddamn life.

And sometimes, when he tied his hair up, he could pretend she had just done the knot for him. That she had tucked in any stray hairs and pinned the scarf to each side.

He’d do anything to feel close to her.

[toriowlfluff]

You draw meryl so tiny compared to vash omg djjgkdjxkf if i were him i would just start Crying over how widdol she is

I think he would start crying over how tiny she was before too but now? Boy, the floodgates are open. And I, for one, do not blame him.

[astaldis]

Not A Good Place To Stay The Night ...

@witchermonstermayhem

Witcher Monster of the Month June Prompt: Yikes

Characters: The Hansa | Geralt's Company Members (The Witcher)

Published: 2024-05-01; Completed: 2024-05-07; Words: 5,530; Chapters: 2/2

He never wanted to take this route. Not that he has been here before, but he has heard rumours, and they do not bode well. Neither does the almost darkness between the tall trees, nor the stuffy air smelling of rot and decay, or the absolute silence. It is never a good sign when there are no birds or squirrels around, not even mice. Of course, it is already autumn and he would not expect the animals to be as active as in spring when they are busy mating and finding food for their young. Yet, in a normal forest with acorns and beechnuts and pinecones and all kinds of other seeds, they would surely hop and flit about to eat as much as possible before the winter. Damn the marching Nilfgaardian troops for making it impossible for him and his companions to stay on the main road and out of this darkest of forests.

Uneasily, Geralt gazes around. The only signs of life besides the ancient, gnarly trees, the thorny underbrush and the dead stalks of grass and withered summer flowers are spiders' webs, and lots of them. Their silvery threads seem to be spread across every bush, spun between every yellowed blade of grass and draped around every bare branch of the trees, some of the webs tiny, no bigger in diameter than a ducat, others almost as big as a wagon wheel.

"Yikes, that stuff is sticky!" Jaskier exclaims, staring with disgust at his fingers. They are covered in the adhesive silk of a spider's net that got caught in his hair.

"Watch your head then," Geralt mutters. "And be thankful the spider wasn't at home."

"Ugh, Geralt, do you have to say things like this? Always so sensitive! What if the spider was at home and has crawled into my shirt? Fuck, I think it's already creeping all over my skin with it's six hairy legs." Jaskier shudders and shakes his shoulders, suddenly itching all over.

"Spiders have eight legs, bard, ants have six," Geralt corrects. "And you're fine. I haven't seen a single spider in any of those nets. Which is quite strange."

"It is indeed," Regis confirms. "There is something unnatural about this forest, something wicked. But I don't have the slightest idea what."

"Better we stay closely together then and try to—"

"—get through it as fast as we can, I couldn't agree more, Geralt. Preferably before night falls," Regis finishes the Witcher's sentence, as so often. This idiosyncrasy of his vampiric comrade is a bit irritating at times, however, Geralt has become accustomed to it by now.

So they ride on through the eerie silence of the forest, Jaskier on Pegasus keeping as close to Geralt's Roach as possible, Regis, Milva and Cahir following directly behind them.

Read the complete story on Ao3.

[doctorweebmd]

in other news tomorrow is match #3 for me and I suicide ranked only my home program. So.

[malikselfindulgence]

Morshid when he refuses and actively looks down upon showing any infliction of emotion in his actions or words and constantly berates those he loves "for their own good" so people assume he's emotionless and an asshole and that he doesn't care for them [guys I do care why can't u see it past this giant brick wall I've been painstakingly building for as long as you've known me]

[crimsonblackrose]

Oh no. I’ve been writing and haven’t been paying attention, just trying to hurry...and I just looked at the chapter count and it was longer than I thought it was and I just did the math for them all and I fear...this might be becoming too long.

[king7doms]

Hey, I really wanna write with you, but I'm also deeply intimidated by you. How should I approach you after reading your rules and stuff?

If it helps, I just tried to throw a can in a trashcan that I can literally reach if I just leaned forward a little bit and still missed so like I'm definitely not intimidating but also just literally DM me or inbox off anon (I'm not sure what I'm settings are for DMs at the moment honestly but if we aren't mutuals, just inbox off anon). I'm still getting into the groove here with this blog being solely these universes characters, but I am literally just existing on the internet and my whole intent with this blog is to write with people so please yell at me if you have ideas and want to play them out. ALSO I should have said initially but if you inbox me off anon, I'll answer privately. <3

[cptkitten]

Alright kids it’s time for a brief talk about cholesterol

Don’t fuck with it

Cholesterol buildup can lead to gallstones and gallstones can lead to gallbladder attacks that definitely go from “hmm I should poop” to “oh no what did I eat” to “I may have an alien parasite in my chest” to “this is probably a heart attack”

Included here you’ll find pain, barfing in the shower, inability to breath around the pain in your chest, and a trip to the er where they tell you your heart and lungs are fine, go home

After you get diagnosed you’ll turn around your diet and have a few more attacks anyway and it will be hell and I do mean hell

And then it’ll go away for a year or so

And you’ll think you’re safe

And then you’ll have a full slice of Costco pepperoni when you usually split it with your kid and that’ll sit on top of all the little indulgences you’ve had over time that have ever so slowly crept up and made just a little too much bile for that tender little organ to handle

And then you’ll be shaking in the shower wondering if this much concentrated begging counts as praying and if you’re actually as agnostic as you think you are

Don’t eat like me. Eat a balanced diet. Your health is important and can turn a normal night into uncontrollable agony. Drink water and eat lots of fiber.

[ham-and-cheese-studios]

Weird post, but I was watching vinesauce's robocop stream, which led me to watch some clips of the ED-209s from the Robocop remake, which reminded me of Israel's bullshit, which led me to read the comments of said clips and of course it was mainly people cooming over the sight of big robots killing brown people

And I bet if u made a movie where these big bois stomped around American cities/towns killing white people, audiences would be upset

[theodore-sallis]

Giant-Size Man-Thing (Vol. 1/1974), #1.

Writer: Steve Gerber; Penciler: Mike Ploog; Inker: Frank Chiaramonte; Colorist: Petra Goldberg; Letterer: John Costanza

[kerryweaverlesbian]

One interpretation of the fictional "Grundy Farm" from BBC Radio 4's farming radio drama "The Archers" suggests that the Grundys, this whole time, have had a MASSIVE horse and they've just never mentioned it

[hoshigray]

Hiiii, I have a request- could you do like jealous or after arguement smex- you can pick any sort of of storyline or any jjk character. (prefferbly a character like sukuna or toji because i feel like they'd be kind mean about it)

Tyy

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: oof, i think after an argument, sex w/kuna would go crazyyy (esp true form! like yikes)

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: true form! Sukuna x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - size difference - fingering (f! receiving) - impact play (spanking + pussy slaps) - clitoral play (grinds, swipes, and pinches) - biting - pinching - degradation (bitch, whore) - monster-fucking (he got 2 dicks) - double penetration; anal and vaginal - backshots/doggy position - pet names ([little]dove, my wife, pet, woman) - multiple orgasms - mention of drool/spit and blood.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3k

You dare avoid him? The King of Curses? Did the screws in your brain finally come loose, and now you’ve gone mad?

Ryōmen Sukuna rarely lets things slide. He is considered the top dog of the cursed Jujutsu world – he doesn’t find himself bowing down to things because things are supposed to bow to him. Anything and everything doesn’t go unnoticed under his gaze, as that’s the order of things that are supposed to happen.

And this philosophy doesn’t stop with you — his little dove.

Being engaged to a human spouse already raises flags of inconsistency. It isn’t rare for you and Sukuna to argue; the workers of the fortress where you reside can attest to this. The love is there, but Sukuna expects you to understand your standing in this marriage. You may be what he always keeps by his side. However, even you shouldn’t overstep him so carelessly.

Nonetheless, your humanness continues to poke him; your resilience is a thorn to your giant husband’s side. The more disagreements you clash with him, the bolder you’ve become in your standing, which makes the cursed man proud, albeit prefers it wasn’t directed towards him. 

And now, after he puts his thunderous foot down and shuts you up with your bickering, you decide to be courageous enough to turn your back on him? Him? Your betrothed? He couldn’t believe what he saw; your expression molded to neutrality before you turned on your heel and headed somewhere away from him. And then you don’t respond when he calls out to you — the absolute nerve.

Oh, you knew Sukuna wasn’t the one to be daring with, especially when you think you can get the last laugh. So, it would be best if he corrected your foolishness. 

“—Dahhh! Su’kunaa, stop! Let go—Ohhh!”

“Shut your mouth. Think you’re in any position to order me now, huh?”

He has you pinned to the tatami flooring, his upper hand on your head to keep your cheek printed on the mat despite your cries. The upper right hand has a good hold on your waist while his lower right hand grips your ankle to keep your legs spread. And with the lower left, he uses it to tease and toy with your chasm. The mouth of his chasm laps around your labia to lick the fluids that coat your slit while his middle and ring fingers grind on your sore clitoris.

This is your punishment: your husband reprimanding you as he gesticulates around your body. You can cry and holler all you want, squirm out of his hold when knowing your efforts are futile. He doesn’t care because he knows that he will make this point to you no matter what.

The tongue of his palm easily swallows your essence, pushing the muscle into your cunt to fuck you. You nearly choke on spit, sensing the considerable muscle swirl around your insides and graze your walls. “Mmph! Oh, fuck—Nnnm! Sukuna, no! I just came seconds ag—Oooh!”

“Do I care?” He raises his sole pink brow, four red eyes scanning your figure, writhing because of his touch. “You will cum however many times I say, my wife.” He draws out the last words to your ear, enjoying how small you appear under his massive shape. 

He lives for your shrieks, your pitch going higher and higher with every flick of his tongue. Swiping your clit makes it harder to maintain balance, your resolve slipping through your fingers with every push and pull of the abnormal tongue.

“Hahhh, ahhhshit, shiiiit,” your eyebrows scrunch together, nails purchasing on the tatami mat beneath you, which you’re sure your scratches would cause damage. Again, not that your jerk of a spouse would care; he is probably getting a kick out of you losing your poise because of him. “Ooh, ‘Kunaa, y’re going too fast…Nnnn !”

“Oh? Does the dove think I’m going too fast?” Sukuna licks the helix of your ear tantalizingly slow, and you gasp when he bites it while the mouth of his palm sloppily kisses the entrance of your vagina. “You wish to cum again, woman?”

You nod hurriedly, his chuckle rumbling to the core of your heart. The hand on your waist comes up to smack your ass, denting the skin by piercing his fingertips. You howl in pain, “Yesss, I wanna cum again!” 

“Hmph, no,” he removes his hand from your throbbing folds before slapping it; the abrupt action erupts a choked sob. Screams fly out at the pinch of his fingers on your delicate bud; the pain from your chasm stings, making your head pound. “You’re not some whore who gets to cum when they want; you’re mine, and cumming without my permission will get you into predicaments worse than this. Are we clear, pet?”

You had no choice in the matter, propping your ass up and your face down, forcing you to take his two cocks with both of your holes. 

“Aiishhh, oh Lord, Shhlow down! I’m t’oo full…!” 

“Mmnn, khheh, I bet you are, grippin’ on my cocks like a real bitch in heat…”

His lower hands keep hold of your hips, keeping you glued to his pelvis as he pistons his fat dicks into your ass and vagina. The tip brushes on your inner walls, and you mewl at every push as the girth stretches your caves. His upper hands keep you held down to the floor, submitting you to his robust stature that easily swallows your small frame.

Your face is still on the floor, drool trickling down your lips as ineligible babbles seep out. “Nnmahh, ahhaa…!” God, he puts so much strength on your poor body; the inability to move or move away from him keeps you immovable for him. 

Sukuna’s pace is unforgiving, propelling himself into your leaky wetness with no remorse. The fact that he has you come two times already doesn’t concern him; if anything, it aids him in pushing to and fro from your tight cunt. He bites his lip from how your rear contracts around him—so snug for his dual limbs as if you’d milk him dry.

“Fsshoo, ohhmy Go—Daah!” A hand finds its way to the left wrist on your shoulder. “Ohh, ‘Kunaa!”

Your wails are broken when he bends down; the added weight is so lethal that you might end up being pressed and being one with the tatami mat. “Hmm? What is it, woman?”

“—Ahhck! Fuuuhuck, pleaseee, can I pwease cu–Uhhmm?!”

You make him snicker, pulling back his rhythm to implement slow yet harsh ruts to your openings while throwing a slap to your asscheek. “Why should I let you?” 

A tear rolls down your hot cheek. “Pleasee, forg’ve me! I shouldn’t have…turned my back on you...”

Crimson eyes narrow while observing the way your ass quakes from his powerful pounds. Sukuna then comes to your shoulder to bite on your shoulder, and of course, you yelp bitterly. The sight of his canines drawing blood from his mark dials his excitement. “Say it properly, pet,” he purrs as he licks the wound on your shoulder.

“Mmmm! Suk’naa, my Lord…”

“Hmm?” He cups and squeezes your cheeks with his upper left for access to kiss your neck, and the lower left snakes down to play with your clit again. You gasp from the sensation of the tongue of his stomach licking your back, the colossal muscle having you arch like a cat.

Rubs on your pearl have you squeaking for him and eyes rolling upward— all desperate and aching for your release that you could break any moment. “Forgive me for stepping out of line...Hooooh, I wanna cum on yer cocks,” you admit while swaying your hips. “Please allow me to cum.”

“Depends,” you gulp at his quick answer. “This will be your only kind warning for this; if you dare do it again, don’t ever think of asking me.” Sukuna licks your cheek before he chews on the flesh, your breath halting at the graze of his fangs. “Understand?”

Your brave side takes over to turn to him meekly, watery eyes meeting his fierce red ones – a good move on your part. “Yess, my husband…”

And he sneers. “There you go, little dove.”

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header edit done by me + dividers by @/benkeibear.

[speculative-tuna-sandiwch]

When we meet aliens it's gonna be hard to explain the huge landfill with E.T. videogames.

Like, imagine we visit another planet, and they have a fucking mountain full of destroyed and hated media all about interacting with us.

[theminecraftbee]

the case of docm77 v zombiecleo: a very incomplete summary of events

i, of course, strongly recommend going to doc's video (or bdubs, cleo, joe, or skizz's, once they exist) and watching the whole thing for yourself i could NOT stop laughing. but for those of you who want a vague summary of some stuff that happens in the courtroom:

bdubs is insisting on being called "your highness" as opposed to "your honor".

we START with bdubs explaining he has set up a dramatic five-strike system; if either side gets five strikes (things that upset bdubs lol) he will "uh, not give them the death penalty, but--"

doc immediately tries to use this to take advantage of the system and get cleo strikes.

he instead accidentally immediately murders his own counsel.

it has been like One Minute.

"just in case anyone dies, there's a jury deliberation room under construction, there's a bed in there"

bdubs is paying everyone a diamond block for showing up if they listen to his judgement. help.

"thrust his sword into said swine" so skizz's opening speech is GREAT.

"wow, that was really good. but the camera is over here, so if you could do that again and look into the camera for me--"

"defense, first off, how do you plead?" (doc, grasping for his vague knowledge of american legal dramas) "i plead the fifth. i plead the fifth. uh. right?"

joe, in his opening speech: "this is esteemed around the world as a place where two adults who act like children can come to have their differences settled by you in the most entertaining manner."

HELP. "cleo is bringing to the court not an affair between two adults with an unsettled matter, but an adult and a large baby."

HELP IS JOE'S DEFENSE THAT DOC IS A LARGE BABY AND THEREFORE CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS.

joe: "you know, cleo has a lot of communication problems." bdubs, with great feeling: "yikes."

cleo, under her breath: "i'm gonna kill him."

"just a minute i'm setting up my lawyer", ren says, carrying the armor stand he had in the stands with him to the bench and putting false's head on it,

ren: "i cannot recall." bdubs: "YOU CAN'T RECALL WHAT HAPPENED?" ren: "i cannot recall if i cannot recall."

why is skizz doing a foghorn leghorn accent now,

skizz, about doc: "this is proof this man likes to intimidate, that he gets off on it." no one comments on this phrasing.

sorry ren making an armor stand falsesymmetry as his lawyer and companion in the stands is so funny.

"this is more evidence cleo is a poor communicator. she can't control her man--"

joe is very clearly just trying to make everyone in the room mad and it's really funny.

HELP. BDUBS BUILT A HEADS AND TAILS MACHINE TO DECIDE IF THEY'RE GOING TO ALLOW OBJECTIONS.

anyway it rolls tails so it overrules skizz's objection.

skizz's accent and vocabulary just keeps getting more and more exaggerated i think he's going for approximately benoit blanc,

beef: "he forcefully approached us and said he's the guy who wants all the wood." cleo and doc, snorting and giggling at this as one,

i feel like i should note that bdubs has a fireworks crossbow that he's calling his "whip" and hitting people with when they do something he considers wrong.

this leads me to wonder if bdubs thinks whipping is normal in a courtroom...?

i think its really funny that skizz is actively doing like, correct types and moments to do an objection, and it almost sounds like good lawyering, and then IMMEDIATELY bdubs goes "it's time to HEADS AND TAILS!!!" and breaks that illusion completely.

"well, it's heads, objection sustained, strike that from the record." joe: "well then i guess you'll never know what my point was." beat of silence. bdubs: "never mind, let's just add a strike, and you can say it,"

"i don't know how the esophagus entered this situation at all?" "let's pray it didn't. geez." "i was not thinking of doc's esophagus when i built the giant fish for his hourglass." <- this only barely makes more sense in context,

"no further questions your honor." "seriously???"

every time joe calls doc either a baby or a manchild is SO FUNNY. why is this his argument. it's SO FUNNY.

"but he has not proven mens rhea, which you your highness are very familiar with but for the viewers at home is not a gendered form of diarrhea--"

cleo, to doc: "doc are you sure you want to win this one?" doc, in clear and obvious distress: "i'm not sure of anything anymore man i just, i don't know,"

bdubs then interrupts to do the sponsored segment of court.

"the tall claims court is brought to you by!" bdubs puts a disc in. 13 starts playing. "shoot that's the spooky record. that's the worst one." he continues with his bamboo shop sponsored segment spiel anyway, with 13 continuing to play,

"i'm not going to ask for money, i'm just asking for a simple injunction against doc. he won't be allowed to use diamonds for redstone anymore." "WHAT??? THERE'S LIMITS TO THIS, OKAY????" "calm down doc, we're not gonna--" "WHAT NO WHAT CALM DOWN???"

"cleo i have to say that's way better than anything skizz said. skizz was talking and all i heard was bla bla bla bla bla but that was real heartfelt. if you're thinking about paying him, maybe don't."

doc: "i want to make peace and love that's all i care about i'm just a humble boutiquer"

"i felt like as her friend i needed to teach her what it feels like to lose something" i love how deranged that is doc keep going

"but it happened and i think i'm insane, right," doc says, then nods at joe.

"yeah this is really good" cleo responds, perfectly happy with the idea of doc declaring himself insane for no good reason,

cleo: "doc is just completely unhinged when people mess with his redstone, and i feel like my punishment would take away that emotional bond."

joe: "objection your honor, my client is unhinged in every context."

i like how this is "make fun of doc" day.

bdubs: "i'm going to deliberate quickly then i'll come back with my judgement." (turns around for like five seconds.) "and i'm back!"

HELP DOC HAS BEEN BANISHED TO A SINGLE BLOCK IN THE SKY WITH A CHEST ON IT FOR TWO WEEKS

THREE IF HE TOUCHES THE GROUND

AIR JAIL...........

bdubs adjourns court. doc, immediately: "WHAT THE HELL JOE??" "i did my best, man :/"

"DO YOU KNOW THE VEINS ON MY NECK ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE????"

jevin in the background of doc losing his shit just kinda murdering skizzleman for fun,

doc's main objection to the sky island is "BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO :(((((("

doc ends the video standing here:

in conclusion: yeah this seems like a very fair trial with no ridiculous elements at all. very serious and befitting the sanctity of court. yes. you should watch it for a very serious hermitcraft experience,