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shihalyfie · 4 years

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An Adventure/02 pseudo-honorifics chart

I’ve mentioned a few times that I maintain an Adventure/02 honorifics chart for the sake of fanfic writing (it’s generally a pretty vital thing to have on hand if you intend to use honorifics in fanwork, or even in fiction at all), and I’ve even mentioned that I’d like to release it someday, but one thing that was always holding me back about it was my constant checks for accuracy -- an acquaintance was also keeping one, and when we compared them we found some minor inconsistencies that would require us to rewatch the entire series with a notepad to get the right references.

After a fashion, I realized that I was scrutinizing this way too closely. The important part is not the specific honorifics themselves but rather the pattern in which they’re used -- especially because they would often alternate in-series, partially intentionally, and partially because they would flip-flop depending on writer. On top of that, most people who would be interested in this are likely writing post-2002 fanfic, where it could be reasonable for certain honorifics to change based on certain relationships.

As such, I’ve decided to just throw out the minutiae, forget about making an organized “chart”, and simply write a general overview of how the twelve Adventure/02 kids use honorifics for each other. Hopefully this can be an interesting resource/meta for those who are considering writing fanfic with these (or even simply due to general interest).

Before we begin, a few notes:

Overall, I am mostly omitting “obvious outlier cases” where a character called someone else something different from usual, but context made it clear why that particular instance was different. (For instance, Miyako trying to butter Daisuke up by calling him “Dai-chan” in 02 episode 8; she very much would not have done this in most circumstances.) I am also not looking too deeply into one-off outlier cases that seem to wildly fall outside the pattern, and seem to merely be the result of whoever was writing that episode/piece of media not checking the chart.

The tri. anime series and tri. stage play actually contradict each other, and given that they’re supposed to take place in around the same period, you basically have to commit to one or the other here. Between the two, the anime series has a number of incursions that go against patterns in ways that make it difficult to form a consistent analysis about it, whereas the stage play is much easier to make a consistent case between 02 and Kizuna (with comparatively much fewer outliers), so in terms of providing actual analysis, I will be prioritizing the latter’s take.

Due to similarly having too many obviously contradictory incursions, 02′s first drama CD (Armor Evolution to the Unknown) is also mostly removed from consideration, with the exception of instances when it’s a factor in an already ambiguous situation.

All twelve Adventure/02 characters are consistently respectful with elders and strangers (with some exceptions; Taichi really wasn’t very amused with Gennai when they first met). The following analysis is important mainly in regards to the kids’ relationships with each other.

I’ll be marking down the first-person pronouns for Digimon partners as well, but for the sake of brevity I’ll be sticking with the “base” forms (Child for everyone except Tailmon, who’s Adult) and not the higher ones.

General overview

A quick crash course on honorifics and how they’re used!

Firstly, there’s first-person pronouns, which, in the scope of fiction, generally are used to indicate a character’s disposition. Note that “one character consistently using one first-person pronoun for nearly every situation” is very endemic to fiction in particular; in real life, one may change their pronoun depending on whom they’re talking to or the context in which they’re speaking, but Japanese fiction is generally much more consistent about using these as consistent points for characterization, even to the point of bringing out pronouns that aren’t practically in use anymore in real life.

The ones generally of importance to the Adventure kids:

ore: Masculine and assertive. Note assertive instead of aggressive; it simply implies being very self-assured, and you can still have a stoic character who uses ore. Since it’s a very casual and somewhat brash pronoun, a character who uses this might still default to something like boku depending on the surrounding circumstances (for instance, Taichi, who normally uses ore, will still use boku when speaking to adults on the phone).

boku: Masculine and deferential/polite.

watashi: Gender-neutral and somewhat deferential/polite. When used by male characters, usually it’s to imply that they’re particularly mature or polite (since otherwise you’d probably expect boku).

atashi: Feminine and casual. The “casual” connotation means that it’s often employed by aggressive or assertive girls in a sort of feminine equivalent to ore, but it can also simply mean that they’re just very girly (see: Mimi).

When referring to each other, honorifics come into play. Honorifics are generally used based on a combination of “comparative level of station” (i.e. whether someone is in a “higher societal position” than you or not -- yes, even a single school grade can matter here!) and “sense of distance” (i.e. whether you are a close friend to the person in question or not). And, of course, there’s also the question of how polite the speaker is in general. These factors do weigh against each other, so that’s why it’d still make sense for two very close friends to use honorifics on each other, if said friends are portrayed as particularly polite in general.

No honorific: Referred to as yobisute in Japanese, this is actually something that merits a category on its own, because it’s something you should only be whipping out when you’re particularly close to the person. This is especially in the case of elders; unless you really do have a close relationship to the elder in question that they can forgive it, you’re being a bit in-your-face and rude for acting like you’re on their level.

-san: The most common honorific, because it’s the one you can generally rely on to default to if you’re not sure and want to be polite. Upward-facing and polite.

-senpai: Similar to -san in that it’s upward-facing and polite, but it has a stronger connotation of “someone who has been in a certain field longer than you have”. Depending on the characters in question and the relevant situation, it and -san can be interchangeable (this happens with the 02 kids and their Adventure seniors, who are both people the 02 kids look up to as people in general and people who are in higher school grade levels and further experience in Digimon-related issues).

-kun: Downward-facing and polite. In this case “downward-facing” simply means that the person you’re addressing is either on the same “societal level” as you or lower on the social ladder; it’s not meant to be used in a condescending sense! (Well, at least, not by default, anyway.) Its use is still considered respectful, especially moreso than dropping the honorific altogether, but it simply means that you’re also not necessarily deferring to the other person being higher than you. On very rare occasions, you could theoretically use it for a senior you consider yourself particularly close with, but this kind of usage never comes into play with the twelve kids in the Adventure universe (its most notable Digimon usage is Appmon’s Haru using it for Rei, who’s one year older than him).

-chan: Endearing and somewhat casual. Often used for younger girls. Because of it having a “cute” implication, it’s the one honorific here that may be advisable to avoid if you want to avoid that implication; it’s not rude per se to be using it, but it’s definitely possible to want to avoid the implications and go for “-san” (despite that normally being upward-facing) or “-kun” (despite that being a bit more formal) instead.

On top of that, it should be noted that there is a difference between calling someone by their surname vs. their given name, mainly in terms of sense of distance -- formality usually dictates prioritizing surname first by default, someone really close with a particular friend can go as far as given name with no honorific, with the other extreme being using surname and adding an honorific. Likewise, “surname with no honorific” can imply a bit of bluntness yet mutual level of comfort in a relationship, while “given name with honorific” can imply politeness but still with a sense of tight friendship and familiarity -- basically, it’s a grey area. Fortunately, in the case of Adventure/02, this only really matters in the case of Ken (and, in one instance, Koushirou).

And finally, note that if two characters call each other a certain way long enough, honorifics can “stick” and even start taking on an “endearing nickname” sentiment -- which is why you might see a phenomenon of people still using honorifics on each other even when their closeness to each other might suggest otherwise. This is pertinent mainly in the case of certain characters who continue calling each other a certain way even after their relationship should suggest that they’ve gotten a lot closer -- the implication being that they’ve called each other that for so long that it feels weird to change now. (Yes, that even includes between dating and/or married couples.)

Incidentally, all Digimon partners (with the exception of Tentomon and Hawkmon, who use -han and -san respectively, and Wormmon, whose single-minded dedication to “Ken-chan” means he really doesn’t talk about anyone else other than a reference to “Izumi Koushirou-san on the phone” in 02 episode 26) simply refer to the humans by given name and no honorific (including humans who aren’t their partners); presumably they’re allowed this due to not being members of Japanese society per se, and therefore not being beholden to its standards.

To wrap this up, here’s a reminder of everyone’s school grade levels in relation to each other, from highest to lowest (note that we don’t actually know anyone’s specific birthdays, so we have to go by school years):

Jou

Taichi, Yamato, Sora

Koushirou, Mimi

Miyako

Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, Ken

(empty space here)

Iori

Taichi

First-person pronoun: ore (assertive)

General honorifics pattern: Given name, no honorific for the boys (”Yamato”, “Jou”, “Daisuke”, etc.). Uses given name with “-chan” with most younger girls (”Mimi-chan”, “Miyako-chan”), the implication being that he simply treats them casually without being extra blunt or extra polite.

Parents: tou-san and kaa-san (still roughly respectful, but casual enough to drop the respectful o-).

Sora: As he’s known Sora for a while even before the events of Adventure, Taichi simply calls her “Sora” with no honorific.

Mimi: Taichi was known to call Mimi “Mimi-chan” in Adventure, which was consistent with how he called Miyako in 02, but in Kizuna it seems to be just “Mimi”. There are multiple potential interpretations, one being that something may have happened to make the two more intimately close between Adventure and Kizuna, one being that something happened to make Taichi feel that Mimi shouldn’t have a “diminutively endearing” honorific, one being that the scene in question was rather serious and he felt it wasn’t the right time...and one being that the writers simply just forgot.

Jou: Notably, Taichi’s lack of using honorifics for the boys also extends to Jou, who’s a year older than him, either because he’s fine being casual enough with Jou that he doesn’t mind violating propriety, or he made the same mistake as Yamato (see below) and initially mistook him for being in the same school year due to Jou not initially coming off as very senior-esque (unlike with Mimi, Jou wasn’t explicitly designated as the leader of the others’ camp groups).

Hikari: Hikari is Taichi’s sister, so he simply calls her “Hikari” with no honorific.

Other notes: Amusingly, while everyone calls Gennai “Gennai-san” for the most part, Taichi isn’t very patient with him at first and calls him “jiji” (old man) during Adventure, but seems to have gotten over himself and calls him “Gennai-san” in Kizuna. (Well, he’s not an old man anymore by then.) Unlike Taichi, Agumon uses boku (polite), despite the two characters otherwise being very like-minded. Agumon is a little more easygoing than Taichi in general, so it can be said that Agumon represents Taichi’s nature of not being altogether aggressive when it really comes down to it.

Yamato

First-person pronoun: ore (assertive)

General honorifics pattern: Given name, no honorific for the boys (”Taichi”, “Jou”, “Daisuke”, etc.). Like Taichi, he uses given name with “-chan” with most younger girls (“Hikari-chan”, “Miyako-chan”).

Parents: oyaji (think roughly in the sense of “my old man”) for his father, kaa-san (again, a bit more respectful but still rough enough to drop the o-) for his mother (whom he doesn’t live with).

Sora: Yamato omits the honorific for Sora, implying he considered her a close friend even during the time of Adventure.

Mimi: Notable mainly because of our lack of information about this; Yamato and Mimi never referred to each other over the course of Adventure or 02, and while Mimi’s way of referring to Yamato (”Yamato-san”) was easy to extrapolate even before Kizuna based on existing patterns, the reverse could go either way, depending on whether Yamato would see her as close enough to merit the drop. The Adventure mini dramas have him call her “Mimi-chan”, but this was in unison with everyone else, so it’s hard to tell whether it counts; the tri. stage play and the Kizuna novel has him drop the honorific.

Jou: Like Taichi, he never uses any honorific with the one-year-older Jou, the canonical explanation being that he initially mistook Jou for being in the same year (well, not like Jou was acting as the epitome of a dignified senior...).

Ken: Yamato initially refers to him as “Ichijouji-kun” when discussing Ken’s circumstances with Iori in 02 episode 35, but during 02 episode 42, when Ken is now working directly with him and has integrated himself more as everyone’s friend, Yamato simply calls him “Ichijouji”, being more willing to speak to him on a more blunt/close level (but not quite knowing him as well as the other 02 kids, whom he’s on given name basis with).

Other notes: Yamato is the one Adventure senior who gets a lot of interaction with the 02 group in Kizuna, and interestingly, the four of them all call him “Yamato-senpai”, despite him not going to their school -- given that they’re dealing with a Digimon incident, the implication is that they’re treating him as an experienced senior in that respect. Despite what his shy personality would suggest, Gabumon in fact uses ore, like Yamato. Gabumon can be said to represent Yamato’s emotional core, so it is true that he can be very assertive when it really comes down to it.

Sora

First-person pronoun: Mostly used watashi in Adventure, with fairly uncommon lapses into atashi, fully moving to atashi by 02. This is consistent with her characterization difference between Adventure and 02, the latter of which portrayed her as quite a bit more assertive about what she wanted and rather less deferential (and also a lot more willing to come off as more feminine, at that). The tri. stage play sticks with atashi. Kizuna has her go back to watashi, which can possibly be taken as her deciding to be a bit more mature in her adult years -- basically, Sora is the kind of person where going either way fits her, since she’s capable of being assertive but also likes to carry herself calmly and maturely (and her teenage years are where you could most definitely believe she’d be the most aggressive about it).

General honorifics pattern: Uses “Jou-senpai” for Jou, treating him properly like a school elder. Given the rest of her way of using honorifics, most likely she’d use “-san” or “-senpai” for most elders. Uses given name plus “-kun” for younger boys (”Koushirou-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”) and “-chan” for younger girls (”Mimi-chan”, “Miyako-chan”). In other words, generally diligent about using honorifics, dropping it only with people she’s particularly close with.

Parents: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san.

Taichi: Having known Taichi as a peer for quite a long time prior to the events of the series, Sora simply just calls him “Taichi” with no honorific.

Yamato: Initially Sora calls him “Yamato-kun”, and it’s reasonable to extrapolate she probably would call most boys her age with the “-kun” honorific, but early in the series, Sora starts alternating between “-kun” and simply calling him “Yamato”, which allegedly was actually intentional to indicate foreshadowing of their building relationship. This alternation continues all the way into 02, even after they start dating -- Armor Evolution to the Unknown has her calling him “Yamato-kun” even when she refers to him super-endearingly (implying it really has become a nickname of sorts), while DSB has her drop the honorific, and both firmly depict them as dating. For what it’s worth, the tri. stage play and Kizuna also depict her as dropping the honorific.

Daisuke: Sora actually drops honorific for Daisuke, possibly due to knowing him from the soccer club.

Ken: “Ichijouji-kun” in 02 episode 38. This is in the context of her observing how much he’s changed, so, much like with the other seniors, she thinks well of him, she’s just not particularly close with him to merit moving to given name basis.

Other notes: Piyomon, who’s portrayed as clingy and affectionate, uses atashi from day one.

Koushirou

First-person pronoun: boku (polite)

General honorifics pattern: -san for everyone older (”Taichi-san”, “Jou-san”). “-kun” for younger boys (”Takeru-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”).

Parents: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san.

Mimi: Mimi is the same age as Koushirou, but Koushirou presumably doesn’t feel comfortable using the “affectionately endearing” “-chan” and would rather use the more respectful “-san” instead.

Hikari: Hikari is an unusual case in that she’s quite a bit younger than Koushirou, but Koushirou still calls her with “-san”. Presumably, he didn’t feel comfortable going with “-chan” like everyone else did (and presumably for the same reasons he won’t use it for Mimi either). This persists even all the way into 02, but interestingly, he calls Miyako differently (see below), so it’s hard to say what his stance would be on younger girls in general, or whether Hikari got special privileges due to the circumstances of how she met the group (as the younger sister of his respected senior Taichi, and as a fellow Chosen who met everyone during some rather personal circumstances detached from school). The tri. stage play floats up the idea that he might have accepted “Hikari-chan” by 2005, but Kizuna takes the stance that he’s still using “Hikari-san” in 2010.

Miyako: Koushirou, having met Miyako during some rather impersonal circumstances and initially only having a computer club senior-junior relationship with her, calls her “Miyako-kun”. Note again the avoidance of the “-chan”; he really doesn’t seem to want to use the “cute” honorific, and would rather treat her a little more formally.

Ken: Koushirou refers to Ken as “Ichijouji-kun” in general, Ken getting the surname basis as he joined the group on the level of him somewhat of a stranger to Koushirou compared to the other 02 kids. That said, this shows up even during their heart-to-heart in 02 episode 33, so other than the surname thing, it’s clear that Koushirou using the honorific is less detachment and him simply wanting to extend the same respect he uses for everyone else.

Other notes: Koushirou is infamous for using polite language (-masu, -desu, etc.) in every circumstance, including even with the Digimon (who are generally treated as being outside societal obligations of honorifics) and younger characters. The implication is that this came from Koushirou being deferential to everyone out of sense of distance and lack of self-esteem after his revelation of being adopted made him lose sense of his place in the world. In Adventure episodes 38 and 54, it’s made apparent that Koushirou wants to learn to speak more casually with others, but has difficulty doing so, and his parents and Tentomon assure him that he doesn’t need to force himself. Koushirou continues speaking this way even into 02 and Kizuna, but the epilogue implies that he at least doesn’t do this with his daughter (and the Character Complete File that he at least broke out of this with Tentomon). Tentomon uses Kansai dialect, which is stereotyped as being associated with easygoing and less book-smart characters (in contrast to Koushirou, and also for the absurd humor of the terrifying-looking Kabuterimon speaking this way), but he also uses the polite form, so he can be said to match Koushirou in this way by simply being polite and deferential to others in general. While most Digimon don’t use honorifics for humans, Tentomon also uses “-han” (the Kansai variant of “-san”) on any human he talks to.

Mimi

First-person pronoun: atashi (casual). Mimi is normally a very polite girl, but she also likes being in-your-face cute, so her usage of the pronoun is in line with this.

General honorifics pattern: -san for any and all elders (”Taichi-san”, “Sora-san”), -kun for younger boys (”Koushirou-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”), and -chan for younger girls (”Hikari-chan”, “Miyako-chan”). Mimi is depicted as having been raised as a sort of “lady of the house” (ojou-sama) personality due to having been spoiled by her parents, so she’s basically a “spoiled sweet” sort of girl who is polite and respectful to pretty much everyone -- hence why her speech pattern is uniformly consistent across everything. Of course, since she’s also very fond of “acting cute” and proud of it, younger girls like Hikari and Miyako get the cute “-chan”. The sole exception to her pattern is “Jou-senpai” (see Jou’s section on why).

Parents: Super-affectionate “Mama” and “Papa”, in line with the over-the-top lovey-dovey-ness of the Tachikawa household. Mimi’s mom goes as far as to endearingly call her “Mimi-chan” (her father is just “Mimi”).

Ken: Referred to Ken as “Ichijouji-kun” starting in 02 episode 25. This was in a context of her wanting to get him in to help, so she clearly has no ill will with him, she just doesn’t know him all that well compared to the other 02 kids.

Other notes: Palmon, who also enjoys acting cute, uses atashi much like the like-minded Mimi.

Jou

First-person pronoun: boku (polite). There’s an incident where he famously slips into ore when trying to intercede in the argument between Taichi and Yamato during Adventure episode 8, so it can be taken that he does have it in him to be more assertive if he lets his emotions take control of him, but otherwise is deferential.

General honorifics pattern: Interestingly, Jou seems to consider himself close enough to the older boys in the Adventure group to use given name with no honorific (”Taichi”, “Yamato”, “Koushirou”), despite what his insistence on societal propriety might make you think. In other words, he can be very casual when he really wants to be. With the girls, he generally uses given name plus “-kun” (”Sora-kun”, “Mimi-kun”), the implication being that he doesn’t like using the affectionate “-chan” on them and wants to keep them at a somewhat respectful and polite distance rather than the more casual manner he treats the boys with. Likewise, boys who are a certain level of younger than Jou are on given name basis plus “-kun” (”Takeru-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”); since this includes Takeru, who was also part of the Adventure group, it seems to have more to do with closeness based on age than anything. It’s unclear what he would do with elders since he’s the oldest depicted of the twelve, but most likely he’d at least be consistent about his -san and -senpai if he’s not particularly close with them.

Parents: Jou was never depicted with his parents in the series proper, but in Armor Evolution to the Unknown he uses “tou-san” for his father and “kaa-san” for his mother (generally respectful but still somewhat casual).

Shin and Shuu: Jou is depicted as calling them “Shin-niisan” and “Shuu-niisan” respectively.

Hikari: Jou’s one major reference to Hikari in Adventure was “Hikari-chan” -- presumably, Hikari being so young that it’s okay in his book to use the endearing honorific. The tri. stage play has him use “Hikari-kun”, so you can maybe presume he now sees her as old enough to be treated with the more formal honorific. Because both cases are somewhat isolated (one showing up really only once in the series and one being from a writer who may not have caught that one time), it’s difficult to make a projection.

Other notes: Jou infamously seems to exude such a “school senior” aura that he’s occasionally called “Jou-senpai” in settings where other characters might use “-san” for others (mainly Mimi, whose initial relationship to him was being under his responsibility in their summer camp group, and the 02 kids, who jump on using “-senpai” for him much faster than they do most of their other Adventure seniors, despite not even going to the same school as him). This has led to the Japanese fanbase often latching onto calling him “Jou-senpai” affectionately. Gomamon infamously uses the first-person pronoun oira, which is basically like the assertive ore but with a more laid-back and almost country bumpkin-esque air to it. It’s much in line with his very laid-back and playful personality, the complete opposite of Jou’s.

Takeru

First-person pronoun: boku (polite). This is actually a plot point; Adventure episode 12 (which is a Takeru focus episode) also uses boku in its title, and the narration for the 02 episode 50 preview suddenly uses boku, culminating in the reveal that the narrator was Takeru the whole time.

General honorifics pattern: Consistently uses given name “-san” for all elders (”Taichi-san”, “Jou-san”, “Miyako-san”, etc.). Uses given name plus “-kun” for boys who are the same age or younger (”Daisuke-kun”, “Iori-kun”). Hikari is “Hikari-chan”, so he’s comfortable enough to use the endearing honorific (although it might just be because it’s Hikari, whom he happens to personally know very well). In general, Takeru is a fairly polite person and adheres reasonably well to honorific propriety.

Parents: Super-affectionate and somewhat childish “Mama” and “Papa” in Adventure; generally respectful “okaa-san” for his mother and ever so slightly more casual “tou-san” for his father in 02.

Yamato: In Adventure, Takeru initially calls Yamato “onii-chan”, the “o-” being respectful, and “-chan” being endearing. He carries this into 02 as well. Given that it’s unlikely for him to continue doing this much longer after 02, different media ended up going in different directions with this; DSB went with “nii-san” (still very respectful, but missing the “o-” and not as “cutesy”), the tri. stage play went with aniki (one of its few holdovers from the tri. anime; somewhat more blunt and less respectful), and Kizuna uses DSB’s “nii-san”.

Ken: Takeru starts off calling him “Ichijouji-kun” when they’re just starting to get to know each other. This does happen to persist even as their relationship gets deeper and Takeru significantly warms up to him, culminating in him still seeming to call him this by Kizuna’s drama CD, but it seems to be more out of politeness/respect (or, most likely, habit, considering how long it took for Ken to get on good terms with everyone in the group) by this point. (Ironically, this is a significant improvement over when Takeru had punched out the Kaiser in 02 episode 17, in which his references had been an extremely passive-aggressive “Ichijouji-san” and a more genuinely angry “Ichijouji” -- once everything had calmed down, Takeru presumably felt that he at least deserved proper respect.)

Other notes: Patamon uses boku, much like Takeru, which is probably meant to accentuate his “childishness” (in Adventure) and general like-mindedness with Takeru and easygoing nature (in 02).

Hikari

First-person pronoun: watashi in Adventure, atashi in 02, watashi in the tri. stage play and Kizuna (specifically the drama CD). This is likely for similar reasons to Sora in that Hikari was portrayed as rather deferential to others in Adventure but got quite a bit more assertive in 02, then, as she got older, went back to carrying herself a bit more maturely (and, if the tri. stage play is to be believed, went back to it at an earlier age, presumably since she’s more on the polite side than Sora), albeit still of course bright and assertive when she wants to be.

Parents: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san.

General honorifics pattern: Much like Takeru, she consistently uses given name with “-san” for all elders (”Sora-san”, “Koushirou-san”, “Miyako-san”). Uses given name plus “-kun” for boys of the same age or younger (”Takeru-kun”, “Daisuke-kun”). It’s unclear what she would do with younger girls, but she probably wouldn’t be averse to using “-chan”. All in all, much like Takeru, she’s fairly polite and adheres to honorific propriety.

Taichi: Hikari consistently calls Taichi “onii-chan”. Given Hikari’s personality as a lot more willing to come off as “cute”, this is in line with her.

Ken: Like Takeru, Hikari starts off calling him “Ichijouji-kun” and sticks with it even after the group accepts him; again, Ken took an unusually long time to get on good terms with everyone in the group, by which time the surname basis had likely become habit for her, Takeru, and Iori.

Other notes: Because Hikari is called “Hikari-chan” by so many characters, the Japanese fanbase tends to attach the honorific to her name a lot when discussing her. Tailmon’s first-person pronoun usage mirrors Hikari’s in that she uses watashi in Adventure, atashi in 02, and watashi in the tri. stage play and Kizuna drama CD -- beyond mirroring Hikari, it also exemplifies 02 being the point in time when Tailmon seemed to be keen on making use of her new life and freedom.

Daisuke

First-person pronoun: ore (assertive)

General honorifics pattern: Consistently uses “-san” (”Taichi-san”, “Koushirou-san”) and/or “-senpai” for his elders (mostly “-san”), with the exception of Miyako (see below) -- in general Daisuke is actually quite respectful of his seniors in the Adventure group. For his friends in the 02 group, he eschews honorifics entirely and generally goes to given name basis with no honorific (”Takeru”, “Iori”), with the exception of Hikari (see below), so when it comes to people he’s actually closer with on a personal level, he doesn’t really seem fond of keeping distance with honorifics (much like Taichi and Yamato).

Parents: Doesn’t directly address his parents in the series proper, but the Character Complete File supplies “tou-san” and “kaa-san” (generally respectful but casual).

Jun: Refers to her as “aneki” (blunt and in-your-face).

Taichi: Although Daisuke has used both “-san” and “-senpai” for both Yamato and Jou, Taichi is the one where the interchangeability is most clear, since Daisuke has a particular relation to him as his respected soccer club senior.

Hikari: Consistently calls her “Hikari-chan”. The implication is, of course, that he sees her as cute and endearing, although it’s also completely possible he’d use “-chan” for any other similar age or younger girl he develops a particular rapport with (he does go along with Mimi’s suggestion of “Nat-chan” in The Door to Summer).

Miyako: Omits the honorific with her and simply calls her “Miyako”, despite her being a year older. The implication is that they banter so much and are so like-minded that he feels comfortable being more abrupt with her. She personally doesn’t seem to mind, especially given that, when Daisuke momentarily gets a bit disoriented and calls her “Miyako-san” in 02 episode 30, she complains that it sounds weird (meaning that it sounds weird coming from him, given that everyone else in the group calls her this).

Ken: Initially calls him “Ichijouji” prior to 02 episode 39, having just gotten out of the fights with him as the Kaiser and not quite being on personal friendship levels with him (much less treat him at a “polite distance”), but still wanting to handle him casually in his bid to integrate him into the group and get to know him better. He first drops the idea of switching to given name basis and calling him “Ken” in 02 episode 30, and is depicted as directly switching to it on-screen and committing to it when declaring Ken to be his friend in 02 episode 39. From then on, with Ken as basically his best and most important friend, he sticks with it.

Other notes: Being the very active and playful type, V-mon uses ore, just like Daisuke.

Ken

First-person pronoun: boku (polite); that includes as the Kaiser, implying that he was trying to portray himself as “regal and dignified” during that time.

General honorifics pattern: “-san” for all elders (”Koushirou-san”, “Miyako-san”), although he also uses “Yamato-senpai” in Kizuna (implying a sort of “Digimon senior” relationship with him and potentially other seniors by that point). Given name plus “-kun” for Iori, and presumably all younger boys. Ken generally uses given name basis for everyone, including the seniors; however, because he started off using “Motomiya-kun” and “Izumi-san” for Daisuke and Koushirou respectively before eventually shifting to “Daisuke” and “Koushirou-san”, it’s implied that this wasn’t necessarily the case when he was still initially ashamed of being around everyone.

Parents: Super-affectionate “Mama” and “Papa”, and his mother calls him “Ken-chan” in return (he’s just “Ken” from his father). The history behind this is really complicated, but the point is that the family is very affectionate when it all comes down to it.

Daisuke: Initially alternated between “Motomiya-kun” and “Motomiya” (phasing out the former as the series went on), having been in an awkward position of Daisuke so prominently having opposed him before suddenly getting in his face trying to befriend him. He drops a “Daisuke” (no honorific) in his head in 02 episode 26 and once outwardly in 02 episode 39, and while he never quite commits to given name basis during 02 itself, he uses it in DSB and in most postcanonical material, including Kizuna, indicating that with their relationship having gotten so close, Ken eventually got over himself and started referring to Daisuke as such.

Hikari: Hikari is the same age as Ken, but he calls her “Hikari-san”. Since the circumstances of why Ken wouldn’t use “-chan” with her are apparent (given his relationship to the 02 group at the time, it would have been incredibly inappropriate for him to use an “endearing” honorific with her), it’s hard to tell whether he would have extended this to all other girls his age or younger, or whether his way of referring to Hikari would have changed as he got to know the 02 group better (our latest point in time is Spring 2003, where he still calls her “Hikari-san”, but past that, it’s unknown).

Takeru: Notable mainly in our lack of information about this -- other than Daisuke (see above), Takeru is the only other boy his age that we get to see, and 02 never actually has Ken use his name in the series, so there’s been dispute over whether it would be “Takeru-san” or “Takeru-kun” (with a larger camp going for the latter, since Ken’s not averse to using downward-facing honorifics, he just clearly didn’t want to use “-chan” for Hikari at the time). There have also been interpretations that Ken might have been on surname basis with Takeru for at least a while; this is also ambiguous, given that he was initially on surname basis with Daisuke but went straight to given name basis with Iori (who, at the time, hated him the most out of the 02 kids).

Other notes: Nobody in the Adventure/02 group of kids actually calls him “Ken-chan”, but Wormmon and his family calling him this stuck so much in memory that the fanbase (and, at times, even official staff) constantly defaults to endearingly calling him this. Wormmon himself uses boku, much like Ken (and also in line with his generally polite disposition).

Miyako

First-person pronoun: atashi (casual). Does occasionally use watashi (polite), but this is very, very rare.

General honorifics pattern: Uniformly given name “-san” for all elders and seniors (”Sora-san”, “Mimi-san”), with the exception of Koushirou (see below), and seems to not be averse to using “-senpai” in certain cases. Generally uses given name plus “-kun” for younger boys she’s good friends with (”Takeru-kun”, “Ken-kun”), but will eschew it if she has a particular rapport with them (see below). Uses “-chan” for Hikari, and likely other younger girls as well. In general, Miyako’s neutrally polite to others “by default”, but is a bit more willing to be in-your-face with people when she deems them to be particularly close.

Parents: Uses “kaa-san” for her mother (generally respectful but casual). She’s not seen addressing her father directly within the course of 02. The Character Complete File supplies “okaa-san” and “otou-san” (overall respectful).

Siblings: Miyako isn’t seen addressing Mantarou directly during 02, and her only direct address to her sisters is in Armor Evolution to the Unknown, during which she calls them “onee-chan-tachi”, implying that she may call them “onee-chan” (respectful, endearing) individually.

Koushirou: Having looked up to him as a computer club senior (but not really having known him personally at the time) prior to the events of 02, Miyako starts off the series calling him “Izumi-senpai”. While she is depicted as briefly calling him “Koushirou-san” in 02 episode 33, most portrayals stick with “Izumi-senpai” (even Kizuna), and given that she calls the other Adventure seniors by given name honorific, the implication is that it really has stuck too much with her, given the way she looks up to him.

Mimi: After bonding with Mimi in 02 episode 6 and fantasizing about Mimi being a sister-like figure to her, Miyako starts calling her “Mimi-oneesama” (”older sister Mimi”). While she does carry this into 02 episode 14, this only crops up when Miyako is in a particularly cheerful or playful mood; when things get serious, she goes back to using “Mimi-san” as usual.

Daisuke: Unusually, she only calls him “Daisuke”, with no honorific like she does Takeru. The implication is that, with how they bounce off and bicker with each other, she considers him enough of a peer to just go straight for the name (especially since she’s averse to Daisuke calling her with an honorific in turn; see above).

Ken: Initially called him “Ken-kun” while gushing over him in 02 episode 8 (not knowing he was the Kaiser), basically fantasizing over the idea of being close to him. Once his true nature was revealed and the fight with the Kaiser ended, Miyako initially kept him at distance as “Ichijouji-kun” when contemplating her feelings on him, but immediately started going back to using “Ken-kun” after solidifying her intent to have him on the team in 02 episode 25, committing to it fully in 02 episode 30 after the incident that led to her slapping him. She is the first person on the 02 team to use given name for him; the implication is that she deliberately decided to start calling him this because of how much she wanted to reach out to him and consider him a friend, with no illusions of standoffishness, and the fact she made this kind of conscious change so early into knowing him is likely why she didn’t end up getting habituated into surname basis like Takeru and Iori seem to have.

Iori: Miyako never uses an honorific for him, simply calling him “Iori”; the implication is that this is from her background of having known him as a neighbor and friend prior to the events of 02.

Other notes: Hawkmon uses “watashi”, which is in line with his very formal and polite attitude. He also perpetually uses polite-form Japanese, and is one of the few Digimon to use honorifics, adding “-san” to everyone’s names.

Iori

First-person pronoun: boku (polite)

General honorifics pattern: Consistently “-san” for everyone older than him (”Koushirou-san”, “Daisuke-san”), occasionally “-senpai” if the circumstance is right (very rarely). Since he’s the youngest of this group, we don’t get to see much about how he would address younger people, but it’s likely “-kun” would be in play to at least some degree. In general, he’s extremely adherent to societal propriety.

Family: Generally respectful okaa-san and otou-san in reference to his parents. His grandfather is “ojii-sama”, getting an elevated honorific due to his extra tier of formal respect from Iori.

Ken: Iori calls him “Ichijouji-san”; by the time he fully warms up to Ken (which takes him the longest of any of the 02 kids), he still calls him this, all the way up to the Kizuna drama CD. Presumably, it also got habituated.

Other notes: Like Koushirou, Iori speaks to everyone formally and politely with the -masu/-desu forms, but in Iori’s case, it’s implied to be part of his strict and formal upbringing, and something he consciously has to hold himself to -- unlike Koushirou, who had to actively force himself to try and speak casually, Iori speaks casually on-and-off with the Digimon, and actually has multiple moments of slipping into casual speech whenever he loses control of his emotions or gets sufficiently angry. Because of this, it’s hard to tell if he’d continue to speak formally with younger people, although Kizuna depicts him as at least speaking that way with his peers in school. Armadimon uses the assertive ore and speaks in Nagoya dialect, giving him an image of a very rough-around-the-edges but laid-back type.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #shihameta

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peachdoxie · 4 years

Text

It’s always an experience to look back at myself as an adolescent and realize how much of my behavior was influenced by the fact that I am asexual and aromantic but didn’t yet know that.

In elementary school, I mostly wore t-shirts and pants of some sort. They were vaguely feminine, but not very much. To be honest, I don’t think I paid that much attention to what I wore in elementary school, though I was obviously influenced by external factors. But in the fifth grade (age 10-11) is I think when I started to actively reject femininity. It definitely happened once I started middle school (11-14). I opted more for a gender neutral look rather than a masculine look, though I didn’t think of it that way - just “not girly”. This trend followed me into high school (14-18), though around age 15 or so I got over my “not like other girls” mentality, which was never super strong but definitely present.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to dress more femininely. There were times when I wished I could wear a blouse instead of a t-shirt and get a hair cut or something. I didn’t want to be super feminine and wear makeup or jewelry or whatnot, but the t-shirt look is hard to pull off and still be seen as mature and have people take me seriously as I grew older. I actually enjoyed the chances to look rather feminine when the circumstances allowed it – namely, dances at high school (until I stopped going to them entirely) and prom.

The problem was that I didn’t like the attention I got whenever I made a change. If I wore a nicer shirt one day, people would comment on it. If I got a hair cut, people would comment on it. If I did anything out of the ordinary, people would comment on it. And save for social situations that were intended for fancier clothing, such as school dances, I did not like the attention. At all. It was mostly from teachers and other female friends who were genuinely nice about it, not even unwanted attention from boys or men. It didn’t help that I went to a small K-12 school, meaning I was with the same 100-odd classmates every year and regularly encountered my old teachers. There were no good transition moments to make any changes besides summer, and even then I didn’t.

I used to wear my hair in a ponytail all the time – initially just to keep it out of my face, but then because I did that constantly, any time I would wear it down on a normal day, someone would comment on it. It got to the point where I would keep it in the ponytail all the time. It was somewhere past my shoulder most of the time. One day when I was 15, during my regularly scheduled hair cut, I decided to cut off enough inches to donate the hair and my stylist straightened my hair for it. It was cut to a bit above my shoulders. I wore it down the next day at school and got a lot of compliments about it. It made me so uncomfortable that I put it back in a ponytail the next day.

(I eventually got so sick of the ponytail and the way it made me look too gender neutral that I forced myself to get it cut short enough that I couldn’t put it in a ponytail and I just dealt with the discomfort until my shorter hair was normalized.)

It did vex me, back then, why I didn’t like any attention that focused on how pretty I looked whenever I made some change to my physical appearance. I didn’t think that it was because I didn’t think I wasn’t pretty and that’s why I didn’t like the attention – I was fairly aware of how body image problems in teenagers worked, and to my recollection, that never played a big role in my dislike of attention. I knew I had good skin and pretty eyes and did think my face was pleasing when I looked in the mirror. And rejecting femininity a bit helped me find solace in not conforming to beauty standards. I also must give credit to my mother, who was nothing but supportive and never pressured me to perform femininity, and neither really did any of the other adult figures that had a significant influence on me, which certainly helped.

As an adult who has studied queer theory and feminist theory, and who has reflected on my experience as a young acearo woman, I’ve come to realize how much my sexual and romantic orientations impacted me in this regard. It resolves the paradox of wanting to be more feminine-presenting to look more mature while simultaneously dreading any attention I’d get for making a change towards femininity.

To a younger me, any attention to my appearance when I presented even a tiny bit femininely meant that it increased the chances that a boy might ask me out. Not hit on me, but ask me out. It was one of the interpersonal things I dreaded the most during high school. I did not want a boy to ask me out because I knew I would say no because I wasn’t interested in dating. I was desperately afraid of making things awkward between me and whoever it was, because the boys that were most likely to ask me out (in my mind) were the boys I was close friends with. In my mind, knowing that a friend of mine in high school had a crush on me was a terrifying prospect – knowing that I had rejected them while they were still “in love” with me. The influence of media was definitely there, as I’d seen way too many Disney Channel TV shows and movies where the guy was rejected by the girl and it made things awkward. I didn’t want to lose any of my friends that way. (I won’t go into details, but my reluctance to date anyone did end up backfiring on me and I did lose a friend, though that was largely due to my own awkwardness on not understanding why I was so reluctant to date anyone.)

The romance part would have been okay-ish, but at that point I didn’t yet have a split-attraction model to go on and so, to me, any act of dating would necessarily involve holding hands, cuddling, and kissing, and possibly sexual activity, all of which I knew as early as age 11 that I did not want. And because I was repulsed by the idea of physical and sexual intimacy, dating was out of the question. I knew it was okay to not want to date anyone and to not want to have sex with anyone, during high school or ever, because my mother had raised me to think those are valid options (thanks Mom), but at the time, I didn’t have a concept of what being sex-repulsed was.

I think that made it difficult and uncomfortable for me to process the idea that someone could be sexually attracted to me. I wasn’t so ignorant to believe that other people were also repulsed by sex and I knew other people enjoyed sex, especially teenagers. But the mere idea that someone could view me in a way related to sex – even if they didn’t want to act on it – was so unsettling to me that I couldn’t stand it. I don’t think it was about being seen as a sexual object by boys, since those were easy to turn down (and I did have a few male classmates ask me out), but rather seen as being sexually attractive to boys I already had a good friendship with.

Also, while I was aware of homosexuality from a young age and had no problems with it, there were no girls out as wlw while all of this was going on, so it didn’t occur to me to be wary of their attraction. I knew as well that I wasn’t interested in girls, so – because my framework was “straight or gay” without a concept of asexuality – by default I must be interested in boys, and them with me. There’s also the gendered stereotypes of girls sharing everything with their girl friends, but not sharing emotional intimacy with boys. But most of my good friends were boys, and so if I were to be emotionally intimate with any of them, I’d have to date them.

Of course, I lacked the knowledge and self-awareness to figure all of this out until much later, and it took longer to come to terms with the relationship I had between femininity, others’ sexual attraction, and my own self-image (though none of that is static, nor should it be). I also lacked the awareness that the boys I was friends with who might be interested in asking me out might also not be interested in a physical and sexual relationship. I didn’t have the concept that an emotionally intimate relationship in high school could be anything but physical or sexual. I think a lot of it came down to the fact that I didn’t know how to process any potential awkwardness, but I wasn’t fully aware of my inability to process it, so I just avoided it as much as I possibly could. Looking back, there were definitely some contradictions in how I thought and behaved, but hey, I was a young and socially awkward teenager navigating an uncharted territory that I didn’t know was uncharted.

Besides being fairly vocal to my friends about the fact I wasn’t interested in dating (which I explained away by saying “I don’t want to be distracted by dating during high school”, such a typical excuse of non-straight folk) the best weapon I had against people finding me attractive was to downplay my appearance. And so I desexualized my appearance – or, rather, maintained the neutral appearance I’d had from elementary school and made it even less attractive to boys (at least, in the opinion of my adolescent self.) Any act of femininity that was noticed by a teacher or female classmate was something that could be noticed by a boy in my high school, which meant that they may be inspired to ask me out, which meant sexual attraction, which was repulsive and uncomfortable to me.

I hold no ill will towards myself for not understanding this when I was a teenager, and I don’t blame any of the authority figures or educators in my life for not helping me understand this. It’s likely they didn’t understand any of this themselves, and it’s not like I was fully aware of why I felt certain ways and did certain things either, nor was I very open about all of this either because I can be a rather private person at times. It’s also not like asexuality, aromanticism, and sex-repulsion are well-known things, let alone discussed frequently in books about childrearing and queer adolescents. It’s just another sign of how the hyper focus on heterosexual monogamy (also known as amatonormativity) in Western culture and society actively hurts queer people, especially when they’re young and aren’t aware that they’re not straight, or are but are struggling to come to terms with that (it also applies to non-cis folk, but that’s not relevant to my experience.)

Ultimately, I see my struggles with gender presentation and interpersonal relationships, and the stress they caused me, during middle and high school as a symptom of our culture and society’s failure in general to represent a wide variety of queer experiences – particularly outside of lesbian, gay, and trans identities – to young people so that people like me can better understand themselves. I can’t deny the fact that the social norms about dating and relationships in high school that I found in the media I consumed had a major impact on me, to the point where they sometimes contradicted how my mother tried to raise me. This post is in part a reflection on myself that struck me recently, but also yet another piece of evidence about how the lack of representation for ace and aro people actively damages our lives.

#wow this ended up getting long #anecdotes by peachdoxie #asexuality #aromanticism

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raavenb2619 · 4 years

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I think I’m a cis girl but now I’m questioning. I don’t really like it when I’m called a women and hate feminine clothing, but I don’t feel like a guy. I don’t mind when people use she/her and I do enjoy some feminine things like long hair and doing some girly things. I think I might be non binary but I’m so confused right now. I could just be a non conforming girl because I mainly look like a girl and sort of act like one. Sorry you get asks like this all the time.

No worries about the ask, my ask box is open so that I can answer asks like these.

One thing that you might find helpful to know is that gender identity and gender presentation can be different. If you enjoy having long hair, if you like doing “girly things”, that might just be because you like those, independent of your gender identity. The same also goes with pronouns, the pronouns that you use/like/are comfortable with/want to use can be informed by lots of things, like how accepting your environment is, how much time you’ve spent using different pronouns sets, and so on.

If you don’t feel like a girl, but you don’t feel like a boy, there are a number of different terms that could fit you. If you find that your gender changes over time, you might be genderflux or genderfluid. If you feel like your gender is very present, but isn’t defined in terms of the gender binary at all, you might be maverique. If you find that you don’t feel like you have any gender at all, you might be agender. If your gender feels very neutral, you might be gender neutral or neutrois. I can’t tell you what you are, because the only person who can do that is you, but I can tell you that research and just exploring different gender identities can be very helpful, especially if you don’t really know how you feel. If something resonates with you, feel free to try it out; giving a label a test drive can also help you figure out how you feel.

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions.

#ask #anon #original #questioning #questioning gender #questioning nonbinary #questioning enby #questioning transgender #questioning trans #Anonymous

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candyclan · 5 years

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My HONEST opinion of Kalvin Garrah

Kalvin talks about how the reaction videos he does are purely based off his opinions and they aren’t meant to actually hurt people. While I feel like yes, that may not be his intent, he takes information from what he thinks he knows about them from what they say and draws wrongful conclusions. He applies the logic “well if you were really trans, you’d do XYZ” which is honestly not okay. Just because he feels like “he’s protecting the trans community” doesn’t give him the right to invalidate people he’s never even seen or talked to irl. That being said, I do think he is correct that there are people who do not experience dysphoria and therefore do not have a legitimate reason to transition (physically) who do, and realize it’s a mistake (that’s why there’s detransition videos out there). This is tragic, and honestly, could very well reflect badly on our community because of how conservatives may take it.

Kalvin promotes the idea that seeing a psychologist is SO important before physically transitioning and altering your body in PERMANENT ways. He also promotes that before settling on “Yup I’m trans” you should rule out every other possible explanation for issues with your body: like body dysmorphia or an eating disorder etc. I feel as if he has contempt for people who are identifying as transgender and don’t actively try to alleviate their dysphoria. I agree with a lot of people who are fairly neutral on this topic that there isn’t a really clear cut defined definition of what dysphoria feels like other than “discomfort” toward gendered aspects of what you were assigned at birth. For Kalvin because his dysphoria is so strong, he uses it as an identifier of his trans identity and an UN-identifier for others. Just because he experiences an extreme does not mean every trans person experiences that extreme as well, and it could be a manageable discomfort, almost like a paper cut (while still uncomfortable, and totally legitimate) compared to a bullet wound in his case.

Because dysphoria is so subjective, it isn’t fair to label someone as a “transtrender” just entirely and solely on how someone looks on the outside. They may have a higher sense of self-esteem than Kalvin did because of how heavily his dysphoria affects him. This may mean that while they identify genuinely as being trans and probably do actually experience dysphoria (even minor) they choose their preferred gender expression over the idea of “passing”. I understand this because I actually have some really stereotypical “feminine clothes” that actually cause me dysphoria to wear but I wear them anyway cause fuck people. The reason I have such a soft heart towards him is because he and I have a shit ton of things in common and also I watched him cry on his YouTube channel. Legit sob. I see his human in all of this. I see his flawed thinking, and his less than perfect expectations of “gender presentation” as a reflection of his own internal monologue “well I can’t wear this because it makes me look girly”

While I have those thoughts too, a LOT, I never project them on to people the way he does in the videos he makes of the “transtrenders” <—- the reason I put this in quotes is because I hate that word (and he admits he hates it too) there should be a nicer way of politely saying you used to identify as trans or thought you were, but actually aren’t. “Transtrenders” has such a negative base to it because it implies the individuals gender identity is illegitimate and perhaps a phase. While I actually do think there are people who may be confused and do mistakenly identify as being transgender, we should never imply another person is this because that’s FUCKED UP. ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT PERSONALLY KNOW THAT PERSON TO A HEAVY EXTENT. Claiming, like Kalvin does, to have the “criteria to know if someone else is trans” is fucking bullshit. He makes a good point about it being in our brains and there ARE actually studies that prove that is a legitimate thing, he pushes so hard for it to be seen as a mental health issue so “Real Trans People™️” can be provided healthcare. He has correlated it to a mental health issue, and while I personally think: “Idgaf what it’s called just let me have it covered through insurance.” The fact that you would never in a million years tell someone they aren’t depressed/have anxiety because their symptoms aren’t as bad as yours or they don’t experience it the same way, that’s literally what he’s doing to trans people AND IT is FUCKED.

All of that aside, I didn’t know what being a transmed really was until I saw his videos. I didn’t have any real idea how little sense it made that if you don’t have dysphoria...how can you be trans? I hate how there’s such a stigma on the internet about how dysphoria is rooted in EXTREME MEGA DISCOMFORT when in reality, I can safely say in complete confidence that I didn’t have that huge issue like he did. I have top dysphoria but not so much bottom (unless I’m on shark week and then wellllll....death 0.0) ITS okay to not “hate” what you were given, and be in a better mind space about it than other people because WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT and experience dysphoria in different ways and we are all valid as fuck. I feel as if because so many people can experience body dysphoria and social dysphoria in so many ways literally in as many ways as there are people, in order for it to be considered a mental health issue and be covered by insurance there’s this push to try to come up with what dysphoria ISNT instead of the variety of experiences that is gender dysphoria.

So, in general, my thing is, only the individual can really tell (just like in depression and anxiety) whether or not they’re dysphoric based off their own feelings they have toward their AGAB and how it affects them. It’s almost as if he’s just like every other asshole out there that thinks their opinion matters because they’ve gone through SO MANY STEPS to be trans. His transtrender videos really are demonetized, and he claims to not do it for clickbait or shock factor to get people to watch it and that it’s his raw, unfiltered opinion about an issue he actually genuinely does care about a lot. I personally think the videos need to be taken down because it makes him look so much worse than he really is, and honestly what if the person that he’s talking about in those videos actually was trans and they killed themselves because of the hate his supporters dished. Showing their channel and saying that they don’t have dysphoria (in Kalvin’s eyes) labels them a target to abuse from the people that support Kalvin, whether or not that is his intent. I understand why this could upset someone. This upsets me. I feel a personal connection to someone that is using legitimate facts and points to validate his conclusion that some are worthy (that fit his personal idea of what being trans is) and some aren’t (those that don’t) this being said: That is not all that he is, I promise you. I believe “transtrender” is a thing dear god I’m highly uncomfortable with that word but there isn’t another one to use. I would never LABEL someone a transtrender under any circumstances because to do so would be honestly disrespectful to that persons identity and honestly denying their right to explore who they are. So what if you think you’re trans and then realize later that you weren’t??? As long as you didn’t medically transition, you literally didn’t do anything but explore who you are. It is never okay in my mind to label someone as that, especially if you don’t personally believe in how the person chooses to identify because like I said there’s as many ways to experience dysphoria and a disconnect towards your AGAB as there are people. It comes in different severities and different people prioritize change towards specific parts moreso than others.

That being said if you know you are 1000000% comfortable with your assigned gender at birth (not just learned to tolerate certain things/choose to accept the hand you’re dealt or live with it like me and my vag- how some trans people can), why would identify as being transgender? It’s when this “choice to go with the hand your dealt thing” really gets to Kalvin because he can’t imagine is transition being without the whole kitten kaboodle. Is perception of his gender honestly is a huge reason he can’t see why non-binary AFAB people could ever learn to embrace/tolerate certain aspects of their body. I don’t think he fully understands that binary gender roles that may moreso apply to TRANSGUYS don’t apply to non-binary people.

Non-binary people literally do not identify with one gender binary over another, so Kalvin has a hard time understanding them. It is important to note however, he still respects people even if he doesn’t understand. If he didn’t respect non-binary people as a whole, he would be preaching about how “non-binary isn’t even a thing” because he tends to NEED to think in logical terms with facts and data like the similar brain thing (mtf brains=more like cis female ftm=more like cis males) it becomes hard for him to understand the struggles of non-binary people. Non-binary people don’t fit his “mold” so to speak. Perhaps it’s because he once was a “non-binary SJW” in the past and then pulled a 180 and turned into this literal person that tells other people they aren’t trans even though he’s never met them irl and knows next to nothing about them. It’s funny how he claims that detransitioners turn into TERFS when his transition, which was supposed to help his mental state (perhaps it did idk), had him go from non-binary to low key for all intents and purposes a gatekeeper. He from his perspective claims to know it all because he’s trans. Consider this analogy: being transgender is like trauma. People can be united in that they suffer from it or that it affects them, but everyone’s situation is unique amongst all others so everyone has different “triggers”. I’m sorry if this analogy offended you it’s just I was trying to make sense of it the best I could in my mind

@kalvingarrah

#kalvin garrah #ftm #nonbinary #mtf #trans #transgender #discourse #dysphoria #opinion #candyclan #cisknight #truscum #tucute #upset

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aurora-diary · 3 years

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A SELF-REFLECTION OF MY GENDER IDENTITY

July 12, 2020

Sometimes I will catch myself staring at beautiful women out in public – not out of lust, but envy. I would imagine being in their bodies; having their skin, their hair, their curves, their beauty…but something inside me, some sort of shame or decency instilled in me during my childhood, kept me from lingering on it for too long. Or at least, it tried. It was a harmless idea that became the subject of many engaging fantasies in my imagination.

When I was a kid, my sister played a game where she put me and my brothers in dresses. I remember feeling strange and excited with the idea of it. I would endeavor to recreate and explore this feeling. When the house was empty or my family was fast asleep, I would stealthily try on more of my sister’s clothes. I was never caught in the act, but my mother suspected what I was doing and scolded me. This didn’t stop me, but it definitely instilled the idea that what I was doing was deviant and creepy. I even became embarrassed to be seen watching “girly” cartoons, keeping my love for shows like Sailor Moon and Kim Possible a secret from my family out of fear of being ridiculed.

In the seventh grade, I wrote a short story about a boy being transformed by a god-like entity and discovering that he liked being a girl. My teacher found the story in my desk and read it, resulting in me being sent to the principle’s office and having my mother called. This incident still bothers me to this day.

By my teenage years, I came to believe that these reoccurring fantasies were nothing more than some sort of paraphilia and linked it to my transformation fetish. During this time, I began to research into LGBTQ+ topics and by the end of high school, I started to question my gender identity and sexual orientation. After I moved out and began living on my own, I became more comfortable with exploring these areas of myself. I started to occasionally cross-dress around my residence and even came out as pansexual to my friends.

As for my gender identity, I wasn’t exactly sure. I didn’t exactly feel like I was one-hundred percent cisgender. I felt like I was some gender-neutral spirit inhabiting a male body. I briefly considered that I was possibly genderfluid, but scrapped that in favour of agender, later preferring to identify myself with the broader umbrella terms nonbinary and genderqueer.

As of the past few months, a new consideration came to mind. Was I, perhaps, transgender? I considered the evidence. Cisgender people certainly didn’t fantasize about being the opposite sex. Most of the characters I played as in tabletop roleplaying games were female. I got some small amount of joy being called “one of the girls” by my female friends and being accidently misgendered with female pronouns by my Filipino coworkers who were still new to English. My friend Hazell once told me that I radiated “sapphic energy”, noting that she saw I had a “different sort of appreciation for the female form”.

When I look into the mirror, I don’t see myself staring back at me. I see a stranger, somebody else’s body. I see the visage of a wirry-cow or lubber fiend, with its hairy face, broad shoulders, and balding hair line. I used to think it was just vanity or self-esteem issues, but I’ve come to understand it as body dysmorphia. When I was a kid, I once thought about potentially getting a sex change one day, but quickly dismissed it in fear of what my family would think. I fear that if I transitioned, I would have regrets. What if I would just look like a gross parody of a woman? What if I wasn’t really transgender? I have a deep-seated disgust for ugliness and cringe that’s difficult for me to shake off. Perhaps I simply wanted to dissociate myself form being a straight cisgender male in fear of being demonized, so I convinced myself I was something I wasn’t? No, that last one is definitely ridiculous.

There is no shame in exploring who you are. I felt a little ashamed when trying on different genders and pronouns to see which ones would fit, but my friends were nothing but supportive. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

#2020 #diary #gender identity #transgender #nonbinary

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herdustisverypretty · 7 years

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“Kuroko no Basket is not gay” - and why that statement is bullshit

I know I said I was leaving for today but this is something that has bothered me for a long time and I would like to say this.

I take issue with the title statement, and I’m going to explain why. This is going to be a very long post so grab a snack and get comfy.

Okay. To begin with, I’m going to talk about Kagami. He, along with Kuroko (but that’s another story), are the only male characters on the Seirin team who show no interest in Momoi. There are plenty of things that make this odd. One is the fact that Hyuuga has said he doesn’t like girly girls, yet even he salivates over Momoi. So Momoi is hot stuff. Yet Kagami shows zero attraction to her. He says to Kuroko that she’s cute, but that doesn’t mean he’s interested in her. Kuroko agrees she’s cute, but we know he isn’t interested in her at all. You can be aesthetically attracted to someone but not romantically or sexually. Secondly, his interactions with Alex. Kagami seems thoroughly disturbed by Alex when she does things such as try to kiss him or when she walks around naked. First of all this is odd for a teenage boy. It’s not that Alex isn’t attractive. The Seirin members also go gaga over her similar to Momoi. And I don’t believe it’s that she’s a mentor/parent/older sister figure, because of Himuro’s interactions with her. Himuro is not bothered by her behaviour at all, he just seems amused. When she tries to kiss him, he stops her and says people don’t do that casually here. This implies he’d be fine for her to kiss him if they were back in America. You could explain this as ‘maybe Kagami is just a prude’, and yeah, maybe he is. That’s one option. However there’s more. In Kurofes, his answer to ‘what is your type (as in romantic partner)’ is very odd. I have spoken to other people who speak Japanese and they also agree his answer is very strange. So, Kagami responds that he is attracted to “an elegant gir- person”. He starts saying the word girl, and then stops and changes to a gender neutral term. This is odd. The change from female to neutral seems significant. Why did he feel the need to stop saying a female term and change to a neutral term? Plenty of other characters in Kurofes say gender neutral person instead of girl (male characters) or boy (female characters) but that’s a normal response and they most likely are still straight. However that Kagami felt the need to specifically change his answer is very strange. My personal theory is that he just doesn’t think about his sexuality. He doesn’t seem the type to think about that kind of thing. All he cares about is basketball, not who he’s going to date. My theory is that he started saying girl because most people default that everyone is straight (shitty but true), and since Kagami doesn’t think about this he just automatically began to say girl. However, he changed his mind. So I think in that moment he realised “wait I do like guys” and thus changed his answer. You could take his answer two ways. That he’s bisexual, and wanted to use a neutral term to say he likes both girls and guys. Or you could take it that he is gay. Reo for example uses a gender neutral term in his answer, but we know he’s canonically gay. I would believe either, that Kagami is gay or bi, but personally I think it’s entirely possible that he’s gay judging by his interaction with female characters.

We’re going to move onto another topic. The topic is that Fujimaki knows jack shit.

Example one. Murasakibara. Murasakibara is autistic. There is no doubt. There is no argument. He is. He is autistic. However, I don’t think Fujimaki intended for him to be autistic. And by that I mean, Fujimaki does not know what autism is. He doesn’t know it is a thing that exists. There are a few reasons to support this. First, the way other characters talk about Murasakibara. Kuroko for example. Kuroko’s a smart kid. He likely would be aware that Murasakibara is autistic. However, when Kuroko describes Murasakibara and his personality, he makes no mention of this condition. Murasakibara is essentially described by characters as to be ‘just weird’. Things such as autism and mental illnesses are not understood well in Asian countries. I honestly do not have much knowledge of the way such things are treated in Japan, but in South Korea these things are barely acknowledged. Martina from EatYourKimchi has spoken about her experiences as a teacher in S.Korea. She mentioned that she had students she was convinced were autistic, and when she brought this up to the other teachers they responded “No they’re just a troublemaker. There’s nothing wrong with them.” I assume this view is the same in Japan (especially going by Fujimaki’s opinion of LGBT culture - which we’ll get to later). So, Fujimaki likely doesn’t even know autism exists, he just thinks it’s a weird personality some kids have, and gave it to Murasakibara for variety, without realising his character actually has a medical condition.

Example two. Reo. I love Reo. He is beautiful and lovely and I love him. But he is THE SHITTIEST AND LAZIEST attempt at a gay character I have ever seen. Fujimaki has NO IDEA about anything LGBT. There have been discussions on this already, for example here. I highly recommend you read this post, but I’ll also go into this as well. So in Japan, for many people who are not in the gay community, being gay, transgender, or even just a crossdresser are considered the same thing. If you’re gay you’re trans. If you’re a male who wears dresses, you’re gay and trans. And so on. That’s the opinion. It’s fucking stupid. But that’s how it is. Now let’s look back at Reo. First of all, Hayama refers to him with a female honorific, ‘nee’ meaning older sister. This does not necessarily mean Reo identifies as female. In Asian countries, many males who exhibit motherly qualities are often referred to with female terms. For example, my fav kpop group of VIXX. The leader, Hakyeon, is very motherly to the younger members, and the younger members sometimes refer to him as their mother. Does that mean he’s gay or identifies as female? Of course not. The same is with Reo. He’s motherly to the other members of Rakuzan, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s transgender. He certainly could be, but he also could not be. The combination of multiple things, the female honorific, the fact that Reo has been depicted with the other female characters in art and omake panels, and that Hyuuga uses a transphobic slur with him, all suggests that Fujimaki shares that stereotypical opinion of if you’re gay you’re also trans, and so on. I’m not saying Reo is or is not trans, I don’t know and I will never know, because Fujimaki doesn’t fucking know either.

More on sexuality and why Fujimaki knows nothing about LGBT. Alex. Her answer as to what is her type in Kurofes is that she likes assertive men. However we know Alex is bisexual. She is attracted to females as well. She states this plainly. You could say she only platonically kisses girls and while I recognise platonic kisses are a thing (I’m aroace so ofc I do) I don’t think it applies here, and I will tell you why. To most of us modern kids on tumblr, sexuality and gender are all very normal things that we know a lot about. But to most what I’m going to call ‘normal’ people not on tumblr, they are not educated in such topics. A straight man is just not going to kiss another man. Maybe if he’s an actor playing a gay character, but I don’t think many straight guys are going to be pashing other guys just for fun. If they were into that, they’d be bi. Same with straight girls. I know plenty of straight girls who just would not kiss another girl. It’s not homophobic, it’s just their preference, similar to a lesbian or a gay male not wanting to kiss someone of the opposite gender. It’s just preference. And that’s fine. Fujimaki does has the stereotypical opinion of westerners which is “we’re all gay, we all make out with everyone, and we love taking our clothes off”. And yeah. That’s what Alex is. I love her, but she’s the stereotypical Japanese idea of what an American is. Which is highly inaccurate. However, this does not change the fact that she is bisexual. Again, Fujimaki may not have intended that, but as the same with Murasakibara, it’s true whether he knows it or not.

So. We have established that Fujimaki knows nothing about his own characters. By all this information, it’s entirely possible other characters could have different gender identities or sexualities. Fujimaki would probably say ‘no, they’re all straight’, but tbh, I’m not going to listen to anything he says judging on the way he wrote Murasakibara, Reo, and Alex. I’m just not.

My point here after all that is: if you know the characters better than the author does, do whatever the fuck you want with them. Say they’re gay, say they’re trans. Whatever. Do what you want with them. Fujimaki has no fucking clue what he’s doing with them, so feel free to take his characters and do what you want. If you want to say Takao is gay, go for it, he’s certainly homo with Midorima. If you want to say Kuroko is aromantic, go for it. I get that vibe too.

Basically, do what you want with them, and let others do the same. These are fictional characters. They’re meant to be enjoyed. If you feel the need to snap at people and police them for identifying with a character and saying they are *insert identity here* then you’re an asshole and you need to reevaluate your life choices.

Good day.

btw, Kuroko no Basket is gay af

#kuroko no basket #kuroko no basuke #knb #kurobas #kuroko's basketball #kagami taiga #kuroko tetsuya #himuro tatsuya #alexandra garcia #murasakibara atsushi #mibuchi reo #long post

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tasia-ghost · 7 years

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name etiquette

hello friends! It has been a while now since I settled on my new name and you have all been very good about using it, which is much appreciated. As I’ve become more and more acclimated to the name, I’ve come up with some usage guidelines I’d like to put into place. These are always subject to change, so I’ll try to keep you all up to date.

This first update is in regards to my ever-developing understanding of my own gender. For some history on that point, for the majority of my life after I realized that I wasn’t a boy, I have identified as non-binary. It was only just before starting my medical transition in 2016 that I decidedly identified as a woman, and for a few months after I still used the term non-binary on top of that.

I have used a lot of different non-binary identities; the ones I can remember, in the order that I can remember them, are (scroll to the bottom if you don’t need the history lesson):

genderless/agender: This was the first term I used when I started experimenting with my gender. Something about the simplicity and minimalism of just not having a gender at all appealed to me. At the time, my pronouns were “whatever”, but I began to find myself preferring it when people used “she/her”.

genderqueer: After spending some time trying to pin down my gender more specifically and not being successful, I went for this non-binary umbrella term. I started responding to “they/them” and “ey/em” pronouns as well as “she/her”.

genderfluid: This term began to appeal to me the more and more I found myself identifying as feminine. I also started to only use “she/her” pronouns, as enough time had gone by for me to be certain those felt best.

non-binary girl: In the time leading up to my beginning hormone therapy and then some time after, I spent a majority of my days in “girl mode”, as they say, to the point where I began to wonder if there really was any fluidity to my gender at all and maybe it was just me being hesitant to go “full trans”, so to speak. I still felt some comfort in the “non-binary” identity, and I liked the seeming contradiction of using a binary gender like “girl” and simultaneously identifying as “non-binary”, just to fuck with cis people.

anyway, that leads us to today. For about a month or so now, actually starting almost exactly at the one-year mark for my HRT, I’ve begun to feel that fluidity in my gender again. I started experimenting with “they/them” pronouns and going out in a more androgyne style of dress, instead of the hyper-femme I usually use since trans girls have to be extra girly to be recognized as girls in public.

let’s just say it went well. It felt really good, really right, more so than any time I’d identified as n.b. before. I think a year of hormone therapy to take the boyish edge off my features and give me some nice, plump plums was exactly what I needed to actually feel comfortable queering the gender binary more.

with that in mind, I’ve settled upon the identity of pangender for roughly the same reason as I identify as pansexual: I don’t see a reason to put a lid on all the possibilities. That said, my gender is also fluid, changing by the day, with my pronouns following. Right now I switch between “they/them” and “she/her” depending on how I’m feeling, but I imagine there might be days when other pronouns are also appropriate.

but, to the point, my name etiquette has changed to reflect this new update to my gender.

regardless of my pronouns you can use: Ana Clare: Like usual, this is my everyday name. This is what you should when you introduce me to new people. Ana: The standard shortening, if three syllables is too much for you. Remember it’s not pronounced the same as “Anna”!

when I am using she/her pronouns you can use: Anastasia: Formal. Pretty. Remember it’s “ah-nah-stah-si-ah”, not “an-uh-stay-shuh”. Tasia: Standard shortening of above. See pronunciation above too. I like this one, more people should use it.

when I am using they/them pronouns you can use: AC or Ace: Two syllables. One syllable. Whatever floats your boat, friend. Thank Gabe for the “Ace” version, very slick and very neutral. Tas: Another shortening of a shortening. I like this one. I dunno.

thanks to all of you for being supportive and reading this post! Have a nice day.

~ AC (Post-script: since AC is also my initials, I’ll probably still use it to sign things, regardless of the pronouns of the day~~)

Last updated: 15 October 2017

#bits #self

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eachdubh · 7 years

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How I Express My Gender

I've encountered some confusion from people I consider to be close to me, as well as from people who are not so close, about my gender, how I express it, what it means when I say I'm gender fluid, and how I should be addressed and referred to. So I'm going to address some questions I've gotten recently, and questions I've seen other people encounter. Are you transgender? Yes! I do not identify as the gender that correlates to my sex at birth, and that makes me transgender. What gender do you identify as? I identify as gender fluid. Specifically, I tend toward identifying as male or mostly male most of the time. You could also accurately use the terms non-binary or gender queer. Wait, gender fluid? That's not a gender! Well... You're right. Kind of. Gender fluid actually means that I do not always identify as the same gender at any given time. Okay, so... How do I refer to you? Well, I have been using almost exclusively male pronouns for a couple of weeks now. Occasionally, when I'm presenting female, I used female pronouns, however if you default to using male pronouns for me all of the time, that's perfectly fine! Please do not default to using female pronouns all of the time. Male pronouns... So male terminology? Actually, no. If there's a neutral alternative, please use that. Sibling, offspring/child/kid, nibling (the commonly accepted neutral term for niece/nephew), Momdy/Moddy/parent, spouse/partner/queerfriend/lover/etc. The only thing I can think of that I haven't discussed/come up with is a suitable alternative for uncle/aunt that I actually like. Suggestions welcome. I don't mind male slang, like dude or guy. Okay, then why don't you use they/them pronouns? If you want to use neutral pronouns for me, that's fine. They/them isn't my preference simply because the grammar rubs me wrong. I don't use ze/zir or ze/hir because they're not well known or in common usage. Since male pronouns don't bother me, I tend toward those, but I'm not against neutral pronouns either. Do you want to be a guy? Sort of, I guess. I want to have male genitalia, a male body, and I experience physical dysphoria regarding that. So are you on hormones? No. Hormone Replacement Therapy has some serious drawbacks, and I want to try raising my testosterone naturally. HRT may be on the table again some day, but it's not right now. Okay, what about surgery? I've been talking about and considering the pros and cons of top surgery. I'll probably get a significant breast reduction eventually, rather than getting rid of my breasts entirely. Bottom surgery is off the table, despite my dysphoria, unless significant advances are made in the way the surgery is performed. Are you going to change your name? Maybe...I don't know yet. I might change my first name to Aaron instead of Erin, but I might just leave it. I might find a neutral name I like. Since Aaron and Erin are such similar names in pronunciation, it's not an urgent problem for me. So... Is this new? No. When I went through puberty, I spent a lot of time debating whether or not I wanted to be a guy. I ultimately decided that since I occasionally really, really enjoyed being "girly", I should just stick with being a girl. I was raised to think of gender as being an "either or" thing, so I had to choose between being a girl or a boy I figured since I was already a girl, I'd just stay that way, even though it often made me super unhappy. I shut those feelings away and didn't address them again until about three years ago. I've been slowly reopening that box, and as I get more comfortable with my identity, I'm starting to express myself more truthfully. This may seem like I'm being inconsistent, or like I'm changing my mind about things. Be patient, this is the process of me exploring myself, and it's really hard, a long process of examining feelings I've had for a really long time and never addressed until now. How do I know what gender you identify as in any given moment? Okay, so, when I'm not knocking around at home, I try to make it really obvious when I identify as female. If you can't tell, if there's any doubt in your mind at all, it's best to either ask me (I don't bite, I swear) or just assume I'm identifying as male. If I'm at home, well, I don't make nearly as much effort to make it clear to anyone but me, so... Ask, or assume male. Male is always safe. Have more questions? Please ask! I'm basically an open book on this topic.

#gender #expression #gender fluid #gender queer #nonbinary #q&a #pronouns #who are you

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pinkpeccary · 7 years

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all the trans ask game asks !!!!!!!!!!! or any five, if that's too many !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^-^

under the cut bc long

1. How did you choose your name?i still use my birth name irl, because it’s familiar and i like it, but i use ollie on here bc it’s the name i would change to if i changed. i like it because it’s gender neutral, leaning masc, but could easily not be. it actually started as a name for characters i made up, and eventually i realized i liked it enough to use it for myself.

2. What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)probably when people assume me to be a girl and refer to me as such. like it bothers me less if the person knows it’s not totally accurate, and it depends on the circumstances and the person and the word they use (i’m pretty okay with girlfriend or sister), but that’s the big one.

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?i’d say more social, the physical stuff comes and goes and i can control for a lot of it with clothing

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?idk really, i think i just try to distract myself by being around people i trust and just doing something else to get my mind off it. if it’s a physical thing i might change clothes to something that makes it a little less strong.

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?junior year of high school, when my trans male friend was talking to our theater teacher about the complications of passing and being out and shit and mentioned demigenders as a complicating factor in that it’s not as black and white binary as people think

6. When did you realize you were transgender?probably a few months after i started thinking about it, the process was a little weird because i went from “i’m a girl” to “i’m a demigirl” to “i’m agender” and so on, but yeah

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?this isn’t true of every trans person, but personally i find it very freeing from gender roles and biases. because i’m fluid and have difficulty conceptualizing gender in the first place, i can kind of just respond to any “x gender does this” thing with either “that applies to me” or that it doesn’t, regardless of the gender they name.

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?i think i’d self-describe as genderfluid. idk what between, but i think it is fluid and it feels different from day to day. i can’t easily conceptualize how gender works, so most of my descriptions are based of vague feelings. lately i’ve been leaning masc (gender-wise, not necessarily presentation-wise).

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?i talked to my mom about it a bunch during the process and that was fine. i didn’t really tell anyone in high school because it never came up and i didn’t know how to bring it up. at college it’s fairly straightforward, it’s customary to share pronouns when you meet people here, so i say i use whatever pronouns and that’s that. i’ve only really gotten into the details of it with [k tag].

10. What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?haven’t really tried it, i don’t really get bottom dysphoria

11. What are your experiences with binding or tucking?binding works somewhat. i don’t like that i have to wear a shirt over the binder to really get flat; if i just wear the binder it doesn’t look as smooth.

12. Do you pass?i mean the obvious response to this is “as what?” i don’t read male bc i’m smol, have a round face and a girl’s name, etc. in terms of dress i think i’m probably read as queer in some way, because of short hair and occasional “boy” clothes, but idk what people think my gender is by looking.

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?i want top surgery. idk how that’ll work, because i’ve been trying to get it arranged for this summer but being home is a bad experience so idk how that’s going to work. also i haven’t looked into this much but getting rid of the ability to be pregnant would be A+.

14. How long have you been out?since i got to college pretty much, so about 8 months or so

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?so the ones i can remember off the top of my head, in no particular order: demigirl, caedogirl, commogirl, agender, agenderflux, nonbinary girl, stargender

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?only microaggressions, like people using overly binary language or assuming me to be a girl, etc.

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?my college has all gender neutral bathrooms. elsewise it depends on where i am, if i feel safe doing so i’ll use whichever bathroom is free/closer because i feel like i can identify with both binary genders to the same extent in that case

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?my mom’s supportive, so’s my dad as far as i can tell, idk if my sister knows and i don’t care, my brother definitely does not know bc i’ve never really explained it to him (and it would be hard bc he’s got some cognitive issues and is still kinda young so it would take a while) but he’s wonderful and i’m sure he would be fine with it

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?i wouldn’t. i don’t want to read as binary in either direction.

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?i wish i could’ve figured this out when i was like 10. i had major dysphoria all through puberty and ignored it on the basis that it was “probably just body image issues” and that i had “more important things to worry about.” i wish i could’ve known this was a possibility then so i maybe could’ve done something earlier.

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?i use it pronouns. i don’t like binary pronouns bc i’m not binary, and i don’t like neopronouns bc they’re too weird for me (not that they’re bad, i just don’t personally like them). singular they sits weird in my head because it uses verbs in plural tense, even as a singular word. it is my compromise for that, as a singular gender neutral pronoun. it also has the added benefit of feeling right for when i want to distance myself from personhood, which i do as a mentally ill / autistic thing sometimes.

22. Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?absofuckinglutely. i can’t conceptualize it. i really like things to make sense bc #autism, and gender doesn’t make any fucking sense.

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?i don’t really know. i guess maybe people not letting me be who i am? idk. i’m in a pretty good place wrt physical danger, bc i pass as my agab, live in a pretty liberal place, and am v white. so idk.

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?ignoring gendered clothing, stopped having periods, telling people i use any pronouns

25. What do you wish cis people understood?i want them to know what it’s like to not be certain in your gender. i can’t understand what that certainty feels like, but it seems really strong in most cis people (and some trans people as well) and i want them to understand that not everyone has that.

26. What impact has being trans affected your life?i mean it’s a major part of my identity, so probably a lot, but idk specifics.

27. What do you do to validate yourself?i really like the phrase “i’m the prettiest boy.” i’ll usually say that in my head when i’m having a good day, or like when i’m getting dressed in the morning and i like my outfit (even if it’s a girly outfit). it’s not technically accurate, bc i’m not really a boy, but i would prefer to be read as a boy than a girl.

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?it’s pretty shit. there’s a couple good reps, but mostly you don’t really see it. also nonbinary rep is absolutely terrible.

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?ngl the only one i know is laverne cox

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?idk

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?last semester i went to my college’s trans affinity space (this semester it conflicted with a class i’m taking). online i just kinda talk about my gender sometimes, i’m not really that involved.

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?probably the same (autistic genderfluid), presenting boy-ish, etc.

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?i have no passions

(this is a lie i have many SpIns)

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?whatever you id as and whatever you feel comfortable sharing is totally cool and you are rad

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?i mean i’d honestly say my gender identity is probably a symptom of my disability. aside from that i’ve got the thin white kid privilege in that i look like the stereotypical nonbinary. i’m fairly privileged in terms of trans stuff based on location, circumstances, appearance, etc, so yeah.

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?i wear what i feel like for the day. i like sundresses, and usually think of myself as more “boy in a dress” though it definitely doesn’t read that way. sometimes i wear more boys clothes, and i think i just read kind of butch rather than “boy”.

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?i lean masc on the basis of i’d rather err on that end of the spectrum. it’s like a balance between how i’m seen and how i feel, and the “girl” end already has a whole bunch of stuff, so i’m balancing it out by being more “boy”

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?in big words it’s grayromantic acespike. it’s connected to my gender in the sense that it’s probably also a result of being autistic. i’ve only really been attracted to one person (my current bf), and i guess the only comment i’ll make is sometimes there’s an implication that i’m not gay enough, not because of being a-spec but bc the only person i’ve demonstrated attraction towards is the opposite binary gender from my agab. so. that’s a thing.

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?i really don’t care. [d tag] isn’t, and he’s wonderful, so i don’t think it matters to me.

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?i just kind of distract myself. there’s only really one thing i want to do, and i’ve been living with dysphoria for long enough that i can kinda just wait it out until it happens.

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?tumblr

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?i have a bunch of trans friends (not so much in my immediate friend group) but yeah

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?no

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.i don’t have the spoons to come up with a question rn but this was fun

#moonbeamroses #thank you #gender #ollie talks to people #pp

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airoasis · 5 years

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Toilets, bowties, gender and me | Audrey Mason-Hyde | TEDxAdelaide

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/toilets-bowties-gender-and-me-audrey-mason-hyde-tedxadelaide/

Toilets, bowties, gender and me | Audrey Mason-Hyde | TEDxAdelaide

Translator: Mara Guadalupe Niklison Reviewer: Peter van de Ven i wonder what you first suppose whilst you see me. Maybe it can be something about my curls – individuals normally point out them. Or "What a dapper little man." In my expertise, one of the crucial first things humans do is count on i am a boy or are not certain whether i am a lady or a boy. We do that to all people. We count on what gender someone is, established on how they seem, and if we can’t inform, we get stressed.I say "we" seeing that I do it too. It’s ingrained. Our first choice and often unconscious. But why? Well, i’m Audrey, and if we’re talking biology, i’m feminine. But I consider it is more elaborate than that. For an entry point, let’s seem at my type. As you could most commonly see, i’ve a specified sort, however I wasn’t born wearing fits, bow ties, and flamingo socks. My type needed to evolve, and it is going to keep evolving, and i suppose it gives some insight into my changing expertise of gender. This is a photo of me before I began college, sporting a star Wars prime, a skirt, and sneakers, demonstrating to the sector that i’m a woman! It is the skirt, right? Everyone knows that signal.So at this age, I used to be just a girl who did not care much about what I wore. It was once practical and various. This all took another turn when I hit the age of 5 and began university. I don’t forget certainly one of my first days at college, and that i was within the girls’ bathroom when two women I knew came close me and mentioned, "appear, there may be a boy in here." I appeared over my shoulder, however there was no person there. So I asked them, "where?" i noticed they intended me. I was fairly bowled over, as i would simplest been around folks who knew and understood me. I felt upset and alienated. Ultimately, this misrecognition started going down in public toilets as good, with adults assuming my gender. Normally, i’d get matters like "Why are you in here?" or "incorrect bathroom." This finally result in me being hesitant and tentative about even going to the bathroom in public. Most likely, people failed to simply say something in any respect. They simply stared at me. This felt, and feels, worse. At tuition, this happened increasingly regularly, however whilst many people in that situation could have began dressing more regularly female, in dresses, with long hair, or bows, I grew to become increasingly masculine imparting, sporting what we keep in mind to be boys’ clothes considering in them I felt most authentically myself.I used to be lovely adamant about just wearing male things. What that intended to me was no pink, and even purple, or any type of costume, skirt, and even glitter and frills. I did not think of myself as a boy, however some thing that was recognized as female felt uncomfortable to me. I adopted the label of "tomboy," which intended a lady who wore boy clothes and played with boys’ toys. To me, this kept away from conflict. Tomboys are long-established, proper? They’re even considered a stage – as though we’ll grow out of it. My father and mother under no circumstances fought my insistence on avoiding clothes. They allowed me to select what I wore when you consider that they believed it had no concerning who I was once.I began sporting shirts and bow ties to any slightly formal occasion. This is a image of me at six sporting a bow tie I produced from paper when you consider that Dad was wearing his material one. As for my expertise in bathrooms, i attempted to avert the predicament by waiting until men and women left earlier than I went in on account that otherwise, i might consider trapped. Until concerning the age of 9, when any individual mistook me for a boy, i would reply comfortably that i’m a woman.But finally, it stopped feeling proper; as an alternative of gaining self assurance the extra it happened, I lost it. "woman" did not suppose correct, however "boy" did not believe right either. So, what did i need? I am now not definite I particularly knew at the time. My buddies started getting more and more into sporting activities, but I was in no way sporty, I was once a bookworm. If I have been a boy, individuals would most often have stated I was a touchy one. They do not have a tendency to use that time period as much for women, given that it’s what’s anticipated. So I began placing out with a gaggle of women. This did not really alter my type, more my perspective to the word "tomboy," which I grew to dislike.I started to realise I could nonetheless be a girl and put on mostly male matters. In my intellect, I was nonetheless a girl for the reason that I didn’t suppose like a boy. At the age of eight, I traveled with my parents and the cast of our movie, "fifty two Tuesdays," to the Berlin international movie pageant. "fifty two Tuesdays" was once partly a few mom transitioning from female to male. I photograph a few of you are thinking, "Oh, no! Audrey simply bought this gender confusion from her moms and dads movie making." however this gender questioning happened before they started considering the fact that it, and they say I’ve taught them as much about this as they’ve taught me. Anyway, in Berlin, I met Bart. Bart wore drapy black substances, excessive heeled boots, nail polish, and eyeliner, but he wasn’t dressed as a girl. This demonstrated to me that I could be flamboyant and androgynous with my style, that my love of bow ties didn’t need to exclude something probably female. That year, when the movie gained the Crystal undergo youth Jury Award, I took to the read carpet in eyeliner and nail polish. This is a photo of me that night time. Observe the bow tie.I started to suppose of gender as anything more dynamic. Gender used to be now not your genitals or even what you wore or acted like, and possibly it wasn’t constant. I will take a 2d to pose a query to you. Why does it subject to you whether i am a boy or a woman? And in the event you suppose it would not, i’ll really ask you to stop and consider. Have you ever ever come across any person whose gender you simply cannot position? Have you ever desired to know, although you do not care both approach, have you ever desired to understand what they’re? For these of you who say, "No, i’m totally cozy not knowing, i don’t use ‘he’ or ‘she’ when speakme about them, I simply treat them as a human without any gender identifiers." well, that’s impressive. It can be difficult to do. Simply try to speak about any one for a minute with out making use of gender terms. It is rather complex. That is Audrey. Audrey is a … … Young person who doesn’t establish as any gender.Audrey writes reports they usually love writing. Audrey loves writing – now not the experiences love writing. Oops. It can be rough for everybody. We wish to understand considering of our language and, also, in my experience, it can be for the reason that we treat guys and boys otherwise to women and ladies. And we wish to know methods to treat them. Routinely i am pleased that men and women mistake me for a boy considering that I get to have actual conversations with humans.They inquire from me about my future, and we speak about about what I want to do. More commonly, once they find out i’m no longer a boy, they do not know tips on how to treat me. My friends, who exhibit extra outward signs of being ladies, traditionally get referred to as matters like "sweetheart," or "darling," or "love." folks comment on how pretty they’re. Recently, when I traveled overseas, i noticed a pattern of gender neutral or all-gender public lavatories, which makes me consider so relieved. Having that choice makes me love going to the lavatory in public, and i love i do not ought to tell any individual what genitalia I own.Here’s a picture of me in my sparkle pants, as I call them. They really added flare to my type, they usually also particularly confuse some humans about whether i am a boy, and even, almost certainly, make them uncomfortable when you consider that I seem like an awfully flamboyant, or even girly, boy. Though i do not feel this is invariably easy, i’m so completely satisfied with the choices I made once I used to be younger to wear what made me think good and that I felt expressed me considering the fact that I suppose i would be a a lot unhappier kid or else. I nonetheless get referred to as a boy in public instances, however, in phrases of bathrooms, i attempt to go to the all-gender or unisex ones, or, if I are not able to, i’m going to the disabled bathrooms. Even though I do still use the girls’ bogs in tuition and repeatedly in public. Utilising the women’ bogs, I certainly not suppose excellent, and that i still generally tend to go with someone else. Although i’m no longer labeled as a special gender after I go to the disabled bathrooms, i do not feel best still, considering that it simply jogs my memory that there are more commonly no toilets for humans like me, who don’t establish inside the gender binary, and that toilets are simply a different means we categorize folks.My kind has advanced significantly for the reason that the big name Wars t-shirts and skirts of my early childhood, and that i consider it has rather a lot to assert about how I now recognize and bear in mind gender. I’ve realized that, for me, gender is a spectrum. What my gender expression and identification is, is absolutely about me and no longer about how other individuals perceive me. I do not know how we take care of that in a global so determined to define by gender. I’m going to leave you with that identical question. Why does it topic to you whether i’m a boy or a woman? Or that i am in the improper toilet? Does it relatively matter to you which rest room i exploit? When you consider that it does subject to me. Would it harm you to not recognize someone’s gender? Considering that despite how uncomfortable it could make you suppose, you assuming my gender makes me think uncomfortable day-to-day. All i’m asking is for you to simply sit down with that little little bit of uncomfortable to make any individual else consider better. Due to the fact that it does topic to me.It matters to me when I stroll with my pals and also you say, "hi there, ladies!" but I don’t need you to make amends, i do not hold my grudges, but everytime you say that it smudges my completely happy ideas into undefinable phrases. It concerns to me when you say i’m a handsome lad in view that while you may be complimenting, it makes me question my inner imaginative and prescient of myself. So, strangers, sit down uncomfortably while I inform you how my gender tiers from daily, commonly neutral, oftentimes fluid, usually gentle, sometimes fierce.It doesn’t make me a boy, however it does not imply that i am realigning, and i don’t need to be redefining what it manner to be a girl. Due to the fact that i am no longer a lady. So it does topic to me. (Applause) .

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years

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Toilets, bowties, gender and me | Audrey Mason-Hyde | TEDxAdelaide

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/toilets-bowties-gender-and-me-audrey-mason-hyde-tedxadelaide/

Toilets, bowties, gender and me | Audrey Mason-Hyde | TEDxAdelaide

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mjfrancoposts-blog · 7 years

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Linking theories with celebrities

The topics which I touched within my project are: Gender and Feminism. I chose these two topics because they are closely related and I believe there are really present nowadays in our lives and you face lots of times during the day some challenge which it requires to place a tag on your gender or sexuality, it can be whilst you’re shopping clothes and it is still a little bit weird to see boys looking in the woman section or girls in the boys section, or children which have it all separated in pink or blue which associates directly hat pink is not a boys colour or blue is the typical colour for boys. Nonetheless, this new non-binary people are starting to be a great part of our modern culture which is much liberal and understanding than others which are close minded and who thought that gender is only classified by the sex you have been born in. Being Non-binary or gender fluid means that you actually feel you are from both sexes, one day they wake up feeling like a man and another day they wake up feeling as a woman, this people are “a minority within a minority” according to The Independent’s article which was shared in class.

According to Butler gender is a performance (Butler, 1990) you act as a girl because you feel or are a girl, this also applies to boys. I personally thought about placing this gender issue into the fashion field because fashion is also a performance, just as the gender fluid change their sex, fashion trends are very dynamic and now with the cruise collections and the winter and summer collections fashion is more ephemerae than ever. Moreover, fashion being a constant performance is one of the key links of the magazine related to both of the main topics, we dress up in a certain way to transmit to people a certain message, as well as the dress codes to certain events or occasions which you will normally don’t get the chance to dress up in a certain way and you feel like a movie star or a James Bond whilst wearing a tuxedo. Fashion is a performing act which mixes a lot of different topic due to the social connotations you give due to the way you are dressed. I found very fascinating how these two cases really look alike and one is fully accepted by society and the other one is not.

Fashion and gender are very linked together because social standard and the idea of how a man looks like and how a woman looks like are implemented in society. As women should look in a certain way, for example, have long hair, go always immaculate to anyplace, wear high heels, wear dresses or skirts, etc. and for men, for example, be manly, be strong, wear trousers, and can’t experiment with clothing because it is very girly or weird that a man can like fashion, etc. typical stereotypes which are nearly never met. Therefore I decided to make it of people who are expected to look in a certain way but still they break the rules and yet don’t look weird or ridiculous by being gender fluid or transsexuals. Just as in the video of The Independent about the couple of non-binary people, Owl and Fox Fisher, which discuss about how they should look, how they should introduce when meeting new people, etc. just little confrontations to boxing themselves and still they are annoying and tedious to being explaining themselves all the time. I chose this topic to create more awareness in society for this minority. (Fenton, 2016)

The second main topic of the magazine, as already mentioned, is feminism. Each of the celebrities that I chose represent in different ways feminism. Jaden Smith represents how women in society are now stronger than they were and are practically equally qualified for any job as men are and this is why he wears skirts, and is not ashamed of it. He is the face for one of the biggest Haut Couture houses, Louis Vuitton, for women’s wear. Nicolas Ghesquière has turned the point of view of last year’s campaign as well as this year’s. The Creative director for LV has placed a man on women’s clothes to show the world that clothes actually don’t have gender but they can be worn by whoever wants to. The son of the actor, Will smith, stated on June in 2016 to be gender fluid “I’m just expressing how I feel inside, which is really no particular way because every day it changes how I feel about the world and myself” (Woolf, 2015). We can see how Jaden belongs to this fourth feminist wave where equality is present.

Hari Nef has a different story; she was born in a male body which she didn’t felt at ease. She changed whilst she was at university and she presented herself to different agencies until IMG chose her due to her personality and magnificent story creating the first transsexual model to sign a contract with IMG models. She represents the power of women; she is clearly the “trans fashion muse of our generation” according to Dazed magazine (So, 2015). She fights for a cause: transsexual people to be seen normal in society and thus, make their sexuality not matter, but what they have to say does as well as encouraging people to explore their gender. Nef is feminine, pretty and a woman who belongs to the fourth wave of feminism, she talks about her sexuality in an open way as she did to Elle magazine “I prefer men who are queer. Not gay men, but queer men – guys with an open mind. Bisexual men, because they're able to understand the different elements of the body without judging that I don't conform to a certain ideal.” (Casparis, 2016). She is concerned about a global issue which is gender, and talk freely about her changing body. She is willing to have a great impact on society and is totally determined to raise her voice.

I chose Erika Linder because of her androgynous style, though she likes being a woman and is comfortable about it, she is more of a tomboy. Furthermore, I picked her due to her fight against being boxed into one sex as there was a time where she only featured in male adverts or campaigns and it was fine for her but she is a woman. Although, she is the type of girl that doesn’t wears much dresses she is still feminine and proud. Nowadays thanks to Louis Vuitton and its creative director Nicolas Ghesquière, she has re-entered the woman section of fashion although she still wants to catwalk for men, as she believes that her male work will stand out more as she is a woman. She, as a female, already represents femininity her way. For me she represents the breaking of the gender box. “Each box has distinctive characteristics that ONLY women or ONLY men should embody.” (Carolina, 2016) This ‘box’ which represents society and social standards and how she defies it by not wanted to be boxed in any way.

I found Pat Dudek researching through the internet looking for different people who could fit into this androgynous alternative look which I wanted and just when I saw him I thought “I found the person who I was looking for”. This student has a lot of potential and is becoming one rising star in this arty/quirky modern culture which people live gender in many different ways and being androgynous is starting not to be a problem but a way to present yourself to society and a way people should accept you. This gender fluid movement which is uprising nowadays, gives more voice to woman as it gives equal possibilities to them as men have by placing them in the same step as men; just as the article I am neither MR, MRS nor MS but MX (Tobia, 2015) which states this “The addition of Mx also represents a significant step forward for the feminist cause. By decentering gender and providing a gender-neutral option to the terms Mrs and Ms, Mx allows women a third option that is not centered around their marital status or patrilineal nomenclature.” By giving woman the chance to choose which gender status they are willing to be referred to as, society is starting to open more boundaries and empower the female figure. Though he is a polish student and hasn’t got any influence yet, he represents fairly well the new artsy modern culture that is approaching and which is more tolerant than the previous generation.

I wanted to focus on the part of my friend Paco, I wanted to show that to be gender fluid you don’t have to be weird looking, but it is more a way you live your life. I wanted to create this section like a statements that anyone can be gender fluid and that is completely normal. That is why I decided to choose the photo which I made of him taking a coffee and place it as the main photograph of his article, just to make him real human being. A person whom you can see perfectly may walk through the street. I try to break that concept of ‘otherness’ (Jensen, 2011), which this topic usually has, as it is a taboo; the stereotype of you must be weird just because you don’t feel part of any gender, the idea of being ‘other’ people the weird ones. I wanted to break all those prejudices and show that they are persons just as you and I which need the same respect as you want for yourself. Therefore this is why the interview I made to him is very significant. I think is very motivating as it is a cheerful story, but it is true that in general it is a topic which is still taboo in our society and even more in the Spanish society which is still influenced by some social standards based in the Catholic Church or Franco, the dictator Spain had until the mid-70’s. I asked him the basic questions that whomever that doesn’t know about the topic would ask, because the magazine can be purchased by whoever wants to, therefore sometimes you have to explain topic since the start. Additionally, it is a way to as already said break the otherness people may have about the topic as with this interview you understand how he lives and what has made him be how he is and probably you can relate to some of the things he might say.

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