#given that he died at the start of the novels

[iceunhie]

— out of this world (and into another) : genshin impact

premise: you could've sworn the transmigration curse didn't have an effect on you... so what exactly are you doing here?! (alternatively, you tumble straight into your favorite video game; and you're kinda fucked)

...or, a genshin manhwa otome game inspired au.

act i: scaramouche, alhaitham, wriothesley.

↳ act ii: lyney, neuvilette, kazuha, kaeya. (next)

warnings. fem!reader but can be imagined as genderless if u'd like hehe, a shit ton of manhwa tropes in one, this is a hot mess aka not proofread all that much, half clunky half decent writing

a/n: as promised via the poll heh,, while i do plan to make this an actual au, im not that sure ^^; just the tip of the iceberg here tho!!

MAIN MASTERLIST | AU MASTERLIST (coming soon)

YOU — unsuspecting civilian turnt transmigrator

you've always been too attached to fictional characters for your own good.

yes, even the ones that are remarkably irredeemable (the power of a backstory is very formidable) and complex (complexity is a virtue!)

villains have always been destined to die, be cursed, or destined to curse others. it was heartbreaking, really. you've wished for a chance to rewrite their fates for them to find even a sliver of happiness, even when the fate of their plot says otherwise.

which is why when you find yourself awake into the game of your dreams, “Teyvat's Seven Stars”, like any lover of cliche novel and manhwa tropes, this is the time you think that maybe life wasn't so shitty on you.

....there's only one tiny, teensy, itty bitty problem here, actually.

you're not the protagonist. you're not even one of the protagonist's faithful friends and underlings that light protagonist's road to conquering the world and its men (and as of the 4.0 update, it's women); no, you're none of those.

you're a no name extra, and not to mention, a character involved with the game's main villain characters who are coincidentally the love interests of the game's black route!

[ unlock transmigration package: ultimate transmigrator's route ( ????? MODE ) ]

[ no ] [ yes ]

( 国崩 ) SCARAMOUCHE — the tyrant

“as of today, you will be engaged to crown prince kunikuzushi, who is her grace the shogun's rightful heir to the throne.”

when given approval to stare at your so-called soon to be husband, you expect the worst, mostly. the multitudes of character dialogue you've played through detailing his rather discourteous personality (which basically meant he was a huge asshole) don't exactly paint a pretty picture.

however...

who was this tender hearted looking scaramouche that ‘obliterated armies in the blink of an eye?’ the t in tyrant stands for tyrannical, not timid!

eyes like lighting framed by the longest eyelashes you've ever seen and an unfairly pretty face, comparable to a fair lotus. after fawning over his otherworldly countenance, a sinking realization of dread pools in your stomach.

oh, you are so screwed.

essentially tied to the indigo-haired ticking time bomb of a future tyrant due to the strong standing of your family for a period of until the main story starts, you're destined to never get crown prince scaramouche's affection, being his fiancée who scaramouche is arranged to for political means only.

not to mention, you're in an even more deadly position; of all the characters you switched souls with, it's the one that essentially dies by their own fiancé's hand because they were horrible to him! what atrocious luck!

frantic, you wrack up about three ways to survive.

plan a) win over the shogun's favor by being an appropriate partner unlike the original flavor of this body, who resorted to bullying the innocent prince and unknowingly digging their own grave or b) be a guiding friend to scaramouche as he learns the ways of the world and c) make sure you don't end up giving the protagonist a bad ending via his twisted personality.

weighing all these options, you decide to do all three in hopes to cement a life instead of a deathflag. prevention is better than the cure (aka: the protagonist) after all!

(you may also just want to spend time with your favorite character. having a time limit and a sign that says ‘i'll die in the future!’ should at least warrant you extra time to show some affection to scaramouche, at least.)

so, you do what anyone in your position would do: give affection! lots of it.

admittedly, it wasn't all flowers and rainbows. scaramouche—ahem, kunikuzushi—was very shy and reserved indeed, with his mother ei even worse off! (besides, who trains and studies all day and has to stop crying every time they were injured?! that was just too much!)

it was rather hard at first, the frigid atmosphere of the usually silent Tenshukaku Palace almost impossible to permeate. but with your amazing charm (read: deathflag radar) and social skills, you manage to let the members of the Royal family open up to you.

speaking words of praise in ei's cooking (a very difficult feat to accomplish), spending afternoons with your fiancé and teaching him ‘how to be a shoujo worthy male lead, name-version’ (very confusing to explain), and the cherry on top, driving away that vile teacher of his—the Doctor—once word got out that he'd been taking advantage of scaramouche as a political puppet king in the future. trauma enabler destroyed! look at your immeasurable powers!

(“you're not a failure.” clasping kunikuzushi's hands in yours as he reels back from you. damn that doctor.

his tears shot a wave of heartache through you. you can't bear to see your favorite in such suffering. “whatever happens in the future, i won't abandon you.

no matter what, i'll always be on your side, okay?”

kunikuzushi looks at you with something in his eyes—something like adoration. “do you promise that?”

“yeah.” you say without hesitation, the glow of the sunlight hitting your face so dazzlingly that kunikuzushi's eyes widen that his mouth hangs agape in awe. “i promise, kuni.”)

to your greatest delight, your efforts worked in your favor.

ei now spends time with her son, and though it's almost always just a tad bit awkward, you and the guuji yae miko get the two to strike up conversation, and overtime, kunikuzushi becomes more open to you.

(“[name], what kind of man is your type?”

“huh? well...” you think for a while. this was a great opportunity to say it, right? that life changing protagonist quote!

“to me, the only person i'll ever like the most is you, kunikuzushi.”

“do you really, really mean that?” and oh, he looks so cute—flustered and red from your words. worth it.

“yup! now, i made some shimi chazuke, try some—”)

(admittedly, lots of favoritism is involved.)

—and while you reap the fruits of your hard work, you spend warm, sunlit afternoons with ei at tea, even learning about other nations from scaramouche's aunt nahida and even befriended a few of his future affiliates—childe (though for some reason, kunikuzushi always pulls you away from him whenever he spots the two of you together), signora (she tolerates you, you think) and etcetera.

(“then, if i do well, can you kiss me on the cheek, [name]?”

you agree, much to his delight. scaramouche avoids the gaze of a certain pink haired fox eyeing him questionably. unbeknownst to you, he glares at the woman's scrutiny.)

unprecedented things unrelated to the plot happen too; like how your family, which basically only saw you as a political bargaining chip and an unwanted child they could get rid of easily—no longer sent you any demeaning letters demanding money once scaramouche found out....

(“they've been leeching off of you for how long?” so scary... is this was kunikuzushi is like when he's worried?)

(“...kunikuzushi, how long will you keep up that weak-hearted facade of yours? if they find out how.... dishonest you are....”

“i don't need the reminders of a foxy old hag that doesn't know her place. this is fine as it is.”)

(you don't need to know.)

but, you're nothing compared to the inevitable flow of the plot. inazuma is wracked with war, and it just so happened that you'd been unceremoniously kidnapped by a certain resistance leader's trusted general, used as a hostage bargain for approximately the majority of your life. in the worst moments in your dreary cell, there's only one thought in your mind.

....kunikuzushi's face, devastated when he tries to reach for you, before slipping away from him like sand— face morphing into an unbridled state of rage that's too natural, too familiar. when did he learn to make a face like that?

(they say the kingdom was wracked with thunderstorms all night that day.)

afterwards, fate doesn't make it kind for you.

years go by in the blink of an eye, with your capture fervently forgotten in the midst of the growing animosity of the two conflicting forces.

although you did hear that yae sent out a search party for you while at the resistance's base, the shogun's forces never reached you.

eventually, you got released secretly by sympathy of kokomi, the leader of the resistance, who felt pity for you getting caught in the crossfire. letting you go under the condition that you'd likely never meet any of the precious characters you've gotten to know and change was a heavy price to pay, but you didn't have any choice.

indeed, no matter how much you tried to divert the plot, your duty as an extra has ended, and you were even lucky to even be alive. you could only hope that your fiancé—ex-fiancé—took note of your lessons well, bidding farewell to inazuma as you hop on the boat to mondsdat.

by now, you at least hoped that scaramouche and the protagonist met, his true chance at happiness starting now that you were basically dead.

(even if your heart felt like breaking into a million pieces.)

....is what you thought would happen, but why is it that after three years from your supposed capture, inazuma was still at war?

“that crazy prince... he's still working to find his former fiancée... and he's razing almost every village apart looking for them!”

“—didn't the shogunate say that whoever finds her would receive almost 3 million mora?”

“the entire lot of them are lunatics, i tell you. all because of a missing person, too!”

what's more, why was it still going because of you?!

( 艾尔海森 ) AL-HAITHAM: the information guild master

to be fair, normal people don't really run into one of their favorite characters often after transmigrating.

but to be fair, again, you certainly didn't think you'd actually be in your favorite video game franchise caged in bed with essentially one of its main love interests.

eyes wide and unceremoniously looking—definitely not ogling— at the toned body that's currently enveloping you in its arms, the soft tuft of ashy gray hair caressing the crook of your neck, murmuring incoherent mumbles of—is that another language?

???????

you blink, looking down at the bare body currently embracing you. oh. oh.

you're an extra.

you're just an extra, but why are you in bed, currently being served breakfast by the most gorgeous man you've ever laid your eyes on, with a pretty view of the rainforests' canopy?

“you should lie down. if i recall, sufficient sleep is required in order for the human body to perform its basic bodily functions. although our partnership is temporary, to let you fall to harm is a situation i'd like to avoid as much as possible.”

“....what?”

“...?”

the guild master, al-haitham, is a character in Teyvat's Seven Stars that is heavily debated on whether he's technically a villain or not. in the game, he's the right hand of sumeru's leader, nahida, working as the overseer of the AKASHA, a guild that gathers information to the nation's leader. he's a pretty shady character—always working behind the scenes and very unfalteringly blunt—and a ‘villain’ for crown prince scaramouche's route, helping the protagonist escape his clutches.

he's often the subject of comedic ire, his banters with a certain broke architect always the highlight of any bonafide al-haitham fan.

“we're expected to work together by lord kusanali's decree in the duration of investigating the hivemind project the lord suspects the baron siraj is partaking in.”

right, that one scene in the game where al-haitham needed to go undercover to infiltrate a coup de etat staged by one of the factions against nahida... right... what.

you were that extra! the one that fell in love with him and pined for his affection!

(“well, i get that part, but does sleeping together really have to play a part in this...?”

al-haitham gives you a mere quirk of the lip, tilting his head. “we do have to play the part of a married couple in dire straights, do we not? this cover is more efficient.

...besides, i don't have anything to complain about. you're certainly better company than kaveh.” )

in truth, al-haitham wasn't bad company. far from it. aside from the internal giggling and fangirling (you) and the incredible stack of books (alhaitham) that you have to see more than the grey haired man on a daily basis, the two of you work out a rapport that stems from memories of the body you transmigrated in.

he's nice to be around, surprisingly considerate when he wants to be—he tells you about the books he always reads....

(who even reads ‘20 Tongues Language Memorization Guidebook: A Basic Overview of Vocabulary and Terms’ for enjoyment?

the content makes your head run in circles because of how complicated it is; but who wouldn't like to listen to an extremely attractive man overexplain to you with a calm and pretty voice?)

...is generous enough to provide meals and cook dinners that have you crying tears of gratitude because you know how awful yours compares (it was either too bland or too seasoned; al-haitham is surprisingly picky when he wants to be)

(you assigned al-haitham the title of “absolute s-tier husband material”— his capabilities are out of this world!)

by chance, you once gave al-haitham a little tidbit of information that proved to be valuable later in the investigation—courtesy of your avid game knowledge—when you two had been lost to the psychological illusion magic cast by siraj when you two finally broke in his estate.

(“whatever happens, if siraj messes with your mind, just make sure to think of me instead of anything else.” al-haitham lets his hand find yours.

“you once asked me if i trusted you, [name].”

“....” you're treated to one of al-haitham's rare smiles, one that warms you up from within. “i do. so don't let yourself get hurt.”)

however, your temporary partner had faltered for once, flinching when siraj took the form of his old grandmother who'd passed to exploit al-haitham's mind, hesitating and frozen in place while siraj inched ever closer to finding out his weakness.

and you couldn't stand it, the character you cared for—the al-haitham that always had a plan, always knew how to stay calm, had looked so unsure and hopeless.

(“wake up, al-haitham!”

with you cradling his face, al-haitham stares back at the only constant in the memories of his grief, eyes meeting yours. “you don't have to do it all alone. i'm right here, aren't i? believe in me.”)

your (fake) husband snaps back to reality, finally allowing enough time to apprehend siraj and put a stop to his malicious project.

(“thank you.” al-haitham tells you solemnly. it hits you that this may be the last time you may ever see him. “i'm grateful that you brought me back to y— to my senses.”

there's a sincerity in your voice that rings from your heart. “anytime, al-haitham.”)

you thought that was the end of it.

defeating siraj meant you two no longer had to associate with each other, but somehow, to your great surprise, al-haitham doesn't stick to the plot at all. you were sure you didn't interfere with the game, though?

for some reason, al-haitham doesn't erase himself from your life, unlike the original route's flow.

in fact, he's become... easy to run into, a constant in your otherwise mundane life. he takes you out to lambad's tavern for an occasional drink, says he's lending you his headphones when you find yourself overwhelmed by the city (you were never good with noises) and even helps you out as you vent your problems to him.

(the day after, said problem conveniently disappears. how strange....)

and most of all, allowing you to enter his personal space... leaving kaveh's jaw dropping when he accuses al-haitham of having a lover.

“you're always going who knows where with them! what else is there to figure out?”

“...we are merely friends.”

“a friend that you let into your personal library? do they know that you still keep the ‘fake’ ring in a box inside the closet?” kaveh laughs. “nice try, al-haitham.”

(after all, kaveh could never unsee the way al-haitham's eyes softened at the feeling of the head on his shoulder lean onto him, with you no doubt asleep. he even took his headphones off! kaveh has never seen him actually take them off in order to keep the person who's sleeping on his shoulder as undisturbed as possible.

in fact, kaveh doesn't think he's ever seen al-haitham be this touchy or considerate with anyone this much before.

.....and most importantly, kaveh would never forget the way al-haitham, a man who found no merit in politeness and preferred bluntness, a man who preferred solitude rather than company—deliberately getting close to someone—pressing a fleeting kiss on the crown of your head.

kaveh blinks. it seems even the throes of love can reach even the most unconquerable of peaks....)

( 莱欧斯利 ) WRIOTHESLEY — the monster duke of the north

“—i need you to gather information on duke wriothesley. serve him undercover as one of the prisoners of the fortress.”

the duke of meropide—a man swamped with terrible rumors. they say he was exiled from the nation due to murdering his entire family. they say he possessed a face worthy of the title of a beast— grotesque, littered in scars. they say that any who end up in his estate, the iron prison of the north, meropide, never saw the light of day again.

(“only criminals of the worst kind are fated to be sentenced there. nobody returns, so we've stopped questioning it...” )

so to say you're not fearing for your life that bad right now is a massive understatement.

“now, mind telling me how you were able to sneak into the most impenetrable prison in all the land, miss prisoner?”

how did it end up like this?

so you wake up and find yourself in jail. lovely.

seriously, of all the places you can transmigrate into, why did it have to be fontaine?! Teyvat's Seven Stars chapter 4's main starting point, the nation of justice is littered with dark themes and high difficulty capture targets.

.... such is the case with the man in front of you. unlike what the rumors of him say, duke wriothesley paints a rugged yet dashing picture of a nobleman, even if he was —if you recall— one of the hardest capture targets to conquer in the game.

a villain character who you played once during one game route, acting as the driving force during one of the love events of one of the protagonist's other love interest, lyney. duke wriothesley almost assassinates lyney's younger brother, freminent, leading lyney to rally up a certain group to bring the nobleman down.... a typical side character villain, who's existence was added as late as 3 patches away from lyney's.

(even inazuma would be better than this! at least the tyrant route could be avoided, and let's not mention the easy sumeru route as well...)

“well, miss prisoner, cat got your tongue?”

in summary: fortunately for you, the body you transmigrated is in the position to spy on the current affairs of the fortress of meropide, with courtesy and with permission of one of Fontaine's leaders, neuvillette. unfortunately for you, it seems our dear monsieur wasn't able to inform wriothesley beforehand, leading to the current situation.

aka, you're pressed dangerously close to wriothesley's chest, with a knife at his throat and his hands pinning you against the wall, noses almost touching. you're not sure if this is even the kind of tension that two people who are trying to kill each other are supposed to have...

(“i'm an ally!” you sputter out. wriothesley raises an eyebrow at you. “monsieur neuvillette sent me.”

“how am i supposed to trust you after i saw you slinking around here, knife at my throat?” he replies, eyes narrowing. “i know that i'm labelled as a beast, but i don't really know what came over that pretty little head of yours when trying to sneak into my chambers.”

what does he take you for?! “...are you accusing me of something indecent?!”

“just saying — i've met lots of prisoners with your excuse, my lady.”

“i'm prepared to use this knife, you know.”

“hah.” wriothesley grins. “how aggressive. more aggressive than most. do you want me that bad?”

“stop twisting my words!”)

in any case, you hate wriothesley. you know he's one of the characters in Teyvat's Seven Stars and is a villain for one of the easy love interest routes in the game, but his personality is... a real piece of work.

you'd rather the protective and kind kazuha, or even the charming and elusive lyney! why did it have to be him?

not only did he not believe you, he even told you to prove your authenticity! you're just glad that his assistant sigewinne had been there to vouch for you — you're not sure if you'd even be on your two feet right now if she didn't.

so now you're stuck constantly on your feet, running to and fro — helping the dark-haired man record new prisoners, establishing trading routes to the main city of Fontaine, and treating other prisoners of the fortress with sigewinne.

your biggest surprise by far, though, is just how... different the duke is from the rumors. his scars were merely battle scars of honor (to which sigewinne rolls her eyes, “your grace, please stop trying to look cool”) he got from various succession fights, not scars to show how he was cursed to turn into a beast. he has a love for tea, but always seems to have a cup of your favorite blend with him when you feel tired after a long day of working (laboring) for him and the estate.

(“your daily report of new convicts, your grace.”

“-this is the tea you like, your grace. i've prepared it in advance.”

“you're very adamant on proving yourself. aren't you sick of such tasks by now, miss prisoner?”

“no.” wriothesley's expression screams 'why not?' on it. “ it's because of my own misjudgement of you.”

“...elaborate.”

“i may have had unnecessary prejudices on your conduct thus far. but you're... not like what the rumors paint you out to be.” you say sincerely. “you're more amazing and incredible than anyone else. i truly do admire you.”

wriothesley's expression; you couldn't decipher it. “i see.”)

he's battered, but caring. sigewinne makes you watch (in horror) as she doodles cartoonish looking characters on his face when he's asleep — wriothesley never fusses, only an exasperated sigh to his assistant. he's harsh with his tasks and duties, but is the first to rush you into sigewinne's infirmary to tend to you after you pass out from overwork.

(“don't worry, [name]. the duke may not look it, but he's very gentle!” sigewinne giggles. humoring the little girl who was the first to show you actual decency in this place, you try to nod. sigewinne doesn't seem convinced.

“i'm serious! after all, compared to other people who've snuck into the fortress, you're the first he's treated this way.” she says cheerily.

“what does that mean?” you can't help but scoff at that. “so he just works someone to the bone from the get go?” you shudder. damn production zone...

sigewinne blinks. “ oh no, not like that. it's just that he's never been so lenient before. in fact, when you fainted, he even gave me the order to prioritize treating you over anything else.”)

well, this wasn't exactly what you thought you would be doing when you transmigrated into your favorite game, but you suppose you can take it.

besides, you'd miss a certain duke otherwise. life truly is full of strange twists....

a/n: thank you for making it this far! if anyone asks why wriothesley's was short, listen, this was completely impulsive and i was out of inspiration LOL, but i do hope you enjoy! look forward to new parts though hehe :3

@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.

[doufudanshi]

ON GHOSTS AND DEMONS: Wei Wuxian's "demonic" cultivation?

There are a few big misconceptions I have repeatedly seen in English-speaking fandom about things that are fundamental to the story of MDZS. One of them is this—

Wei Wuxian is not a demonic cultivator.

To prove this, let's take a deep dive into the original Chinese text of MDZS.

(Adapted from my original gdoc posted on Twitter on May 27, 2022. All translations my own unless otherwise stated.)

Demon vs. ghost

Let's start from the very basics. In addition to orthodox cultivation using spiritual energy and a golden core, there are two other forms of cultivation that are mentioned in the novel:

魔道 (mó dào), or “demon cultivation/path.”

鬼道 (guǐ dào), or “ghost cultivation/path.”

To be clear, 魔 mo "demons" and 鬼 gui "ghosts" (and thus their respective cultivation/paths) are not interchangeable because of the in-universe worldbuilding within MDZS. Using the characters in the term 妖魔鬼怪 "monsters," MXTX created four distinct categories of beings, each of which has a strict definition in the novel. From chapter 4 (jjwxc ch 13):

妖者非人之活物所化; 魔者生人所化; 鬼者死者所化; 怪者非人之死物所化。 Yāo (妖) are transformed from non-human living beings; mó (魔) are transformed from living people; guǐ (鬼) are transformed from the deceased; guài (怪) are transformed from non-human dead beings.

And of course, WWX hoards all the ghost-type pokemon monsters at the Phoenix Mountain tournament, and he only exerts control over corpses, spirits, and the like (aka people who have already died). (As opposed to Xue Yang, who appears to have been actively trying to make 魔 "demons" out of living people with those "living corpses" of his, perhaps.) (And, ironically, in order to avoid showing necromancy / zombies on screen, CQL technically does show WWX practicing demon cultivation because everyone is "supposedly alive" even when they're corpses? Which is, funnily enough, far worse morally in the MDZS universe, lol.)

So, intuitively at least, we know that WWX must be practicing ghost cultivation—now let's look at some concrete examples from the book.

Running the numbers

1) 魔道 (mó dào) means “demon cultivation.” As such, it must use living humans.

魔道 appears one (1) time in the novel.

Yes, once. The only time it appears is in the term 魔道祖师 modao zushi, or the namesake of the novel, in chapter 2. This is a title the general public has given him through rumors:

魏无羡好歹也被人叫了这么多年无上邪尊啦、魔道祖师啦之类的称号，这种一看就知道不是什么好东西的阵法，他自然了如指掌。 Wei Wuxian wasn’t called titles like “The Evil Overlord,” “The Founder of Demon Cultivation,” and so on over the years by others for nothing—he knew these sorts of obviously shady formations like the back of his hand.

2) 鬼道 (guǐ dào) means “ghost cultivation.” As such, it must use dead humans. 

鬼道 appears 12 times in the novel.

Here is the first instance that 鬼道 appears, which I believe is the first time Wei Wuxian's method of cultivation is properly introduced. From chapter 3 (jjwxc ch 8):

蓝忘机 […] 对魏无羡修鬼道一事极不认可。 Lan Wangji […] had never approved of the fact that Wei Wuxian practiced ghost cultivation.

Here's another quote from chapter 15 (jjwxc ch 71) for funsies:

蓝忘机看着他，似乎一眼就看出他只是随口敷衍，吸了一口气，道：“魏婴。” Lan Wangji looked at him as if he saw through his half-hearted bluff. He took in a breath, then said, “Wei Ying.” 他执拗地道：“鬼道损身，损心性。” He stubbornly continued, “Ghost cultivation harms one’s body, and harms one’s nature.”

3) 邪魔歪道 (xiemowaidao) means heretical path/immoral methods/evil practices/underhanded means/etc—e.g., lying, cheating, stealing, bribery, and so on.

It appears ~24 times in the novel.

I mention this last term because it is often used to refer to Wei Wuxian's cultivation, but as a pejorative. Every instance of 邪魔歪道 is said by or to quote someone looking down upon Wei Wuxian’s cultivation (Jin Zixun, Jin Ling, etc.) and referring to it derogatorily, whereas every instance of 鬼道 guidao/ghost dao is said by someone discussing it neutrally and/or factually (Lan Jingyi, Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian himself, random cultivators at discussion conferences, the narration, etc.). Here is a pertinent example with Jin Ling (derogatory) and Lan Jingyi (neutral) in chapter 9 (jjwxc ch 43):

金凌怒道：“是在谈论薛洋，我说的不对吗？薛洋干了什么？他是个禽兽不如的人渣，魏婴比他更让人恶心！什么叫‘不能一概而论’？这种邪魔歪道留在世上就是祸害，就是该统统都杀光，死光，灭绝！” “We are discussing Xue Yang,” Jin Ling said angrily. “Am I wrong? What did Xue Yang do? He’s scum that’s lower than a beast, and Wei Ying is even more disgusting than him! What do you mean ‘don’t make sweeping generalizations?’ As long as those practicing this kind of demoniac, heretical path are alive, they’ll continue to bring disaster. We should slaughter all of them, kill all of them, annihilate them once and for all!” 温宁动了动，魏无羡摆手示意他静止。只听蓝景仪也加入了，嚷道：“你发这么大火干什么？思追又没说魏无羡不该杀，他只是说修鬼道的也不一定全都是薛洋这种人，你有必要乱摔东西吗？那个我还没吃呢……” Wen Ning shuffled around. Wei Wuxian gestured at him to stay still, only to hear Lan Jingyi also cut in loudly, “Why are you getting so riled up? It’s not like Sizhui said Wei Wuxian shouldn’t have been killed. All he said was that people who practice ghost cultivation aren’t necessarily all like Xue Yang. Do you have to go around breaking things? I didn’t even get to eat any of that yet…”

Tl;dr—Wei Wuxian does not 修魔道 practice demon cultivation. When Wei Wuxian’s craft is discussed in a neutral and factual manner, it is referred to as 鬼道 ghost dao. 

In fact, Wei Wuxian’s imitators are also referred to explicitly as 鬼道修士 ghost cultivators.

魏无羡早就听说过，这些年来江澄到处抓疑似夺舍重生的鬼道修士，把这些人通通押回莲花坞严刑拷打。 Wei Wuxian had heard a while back that over the past few years, Jiang Cheng had gone around snatching any ghost cultivator suspected of being possessed or reborn, detaining them in Lotus Pier to interrogate them using torture.

So why the confusion?

Of course, there is the matter of the novel's title, which I will get into in a second. But the real issue is a matter of translation.

The idea that WWX uses "demonic cultivation" is a misconception in English-speaking fandom due to issues with the translation of terminology. Of note, EXR actually did translate 鬼道 guidao as "ghostly path" most of the time, though there were at least 3 instances of "demonic" and 1 instance of "dark," especially regarding the first few.

However, this misconception was perpetuated (and arguably worsened) by 7S's official translation, which not only mistranslated additional terms as "demonic cultivation/path" (at least in book 1), but also consistently mistranslated every instance of 鬼道 as "demonic cultivation/path."

So why is this book called 魔道祖师, commonly translated as "Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation?"

One possibility is one posed in Chinese-language meta online, which often cites that WWX himself is a sort of 魔 demon. While this may be true—after all, he can hear the voices of the dead—it doesn't quite explain the fact that the title sets him up to be the 祖师 or "founder."

My take is that this novel is very much concerned with hearsay vs. truth. This is one of the many monikers WWX is given by the public, who collectively view him as evil. (Also of note is that the non-cultivator public is not aware of all the nuances that cultivators learn re: distinctions between the 妖魔鬼怪 monsters.) In the quote from earlier, note that the first title we're given is actually 无上邪尊 “The Evil Overlord,” then 魔道祖师 "The Founder of Demon Cultivation." Like, what can that be other than MXTX telling us, "please take both of these with a HUGE grain of salt, lol."

(And not only the title, but the very first line—"魏无羡死了。" / "Wei Wuxian is dead."—is a lie.)

I think the title is genius, honestly. It intentionally makes readers come into the novel with preconceived notions that Wei Wuxian practices 魔道 demon cultivation and evil techniques—just like the public in the novel. What better way to tell a story warning about the dangers of how easy it is to fall for misinformation and jump to incorrect conclusions?

(Though, in our case, perhaps it worked a little too well.)

[waitingonher]

LOVER'S ROCK [h.o.o. characters in love]

percy jackson

memorizes your fast-food/gas station order. even if you didn’t ask, percy’s still gonna get you a lil something from wherever he goes. he has a shoe box that holds every single thing you’ve ever given him. may or may not still have the receipt from the restaurant after your first date. listens to the music you recommend him. usually, percy’s very opinionated about the music he listens to but he always gives yours a try. embarasses himself solely to see you laugh. yes, the time he dropped his ice cream cone into the hudson was on purpose.

annabeth chase

waits for you to watch the latest episode of your favorite show. annabeth will wait for you no matter what, even if it pains her to not know whether or not her favorite character just died. eases up around you. she appreciates not having to be completely on guard all the time. paints your nails for you. annabeth always finds it funny when she sees your non-dominant hand perfectly manicured while your dominant hand looks as if you did it blindfolded.

jason grace

annotates his favorite books for you to read. when it’s the occasional romance novel, jason writes “us <3” in the margin everytime the love interests do anything remotely romantic. gifts you a necklace with his initial. he smiles everytime he sees it resting against your chest. jason’s phone is entirely made up of you. his lockscreen, his home screen, his widgets…everything is you. jason randomly gives you massages. if you’re working on some school assignment he’d come up behind you and start massaging your neck and shoulders, getting out the knots you didn’t even know you had.

piper mclean

allows you to bypass her dnd. most of the time, piper’s on dnd so she made it so that only your notifications could bypass it. she does the chores you hate the most. even if she hates it just as much, she’ll do it just to see you happy. piper loves making those cheesy couple videos with you on tiktok. every day she’ll tell you how you two are basically tiktok famous?? piper only listens to you when it comes to fashion advice. yeah, she’ll acknowledge what others have to say about her outfits, but she truly only cares about what you think. 

leo valdez

loves you to the point of invention. you can’t even count the amount of gadgets leo’s made for you. he also comes home with little knicknacks made from spare parts of his projects. flowers made of metal scraps >> regular flowers. lets down his guard for you. leo doesn’t feel the need to keep up his happy, humorous persona when he’s with you. he lets you take whatever side of the bed you want. even if leo likes to sleep against the wall, he’ll let you because he knows it makes you happy.

hazel levesque

buys matching couple outfits. you two have your own pinterest board dedicated to your matching outfits. takes care of your hair. considering her own hair, hazel knows a lot about hair care. date nights where she oils your hair and washes it for you over anything else. ties your bows for you. she laughs when you finish tying the bow in your hair only to realize that the loops and tails are different sizes. wears matching jewelry. you two have lockets with photos from your first date. 

frank zhang

never the first one to let go from hugs. frank can and will stand there and hug you for the entire day if you want to. ties your shoes for you. whenever he notices your shoes are untied he entirely stops what he’s doing and drops to the floor, propping your foot on his knee to tie it. always gives you his food. even if you had said you didn’t want any, frank still shares some with you.

[1427]

would you? (pt. 2)

Negan x Reader

Summary: Your mom died when you were 15, your Aunt Lucille was given custody even though she was battling cancer. When the world gets upended and Lucille dies, Negan is all you have, but he isn’t cut out to be a parent. When he becomes the leader of the Saviors and takes residence in the Sanctuary he’s almost a stranger. No one wants anything to do with you because you’re Negan’s “daughter”. So when you confront Negan about needing company, he obliges. You don’t realize that the feelings you’re developing are inappropriate, but Negan does.

Setting: Height of the Saviors era Sanctuary, Negan’s bedroom. 

Warnings: SMUT, age-gap (reader is 18, Negan is early/mid 40’s), virgin!reader, manipulation, guardian!negan (technically it’s Uncle!Negan and it IS mentioned explicitly), oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, stocking!kink, innocence/corruption!kink, reader is described several times as a doll/toy, read at your own risk ok

Word count: 3.3k

A/n: uhm, my heart was racing the entire time I was writing this please read at your own risk fr

// Part 1 //

masterlist

18+ mdni

I was just bending over to grab my pencil, coach. 

For a while, you don’t bring up what happened that night. Going to lunch like everything’s normal. Negan is even more disturbed by this than he was by your innocent flirting. You don’t bring it up, but you’re different. Reminding him of some of his former students. The girls with obvious crushes - ones they were trying to hide but actively weren’t. They’d do things that could easily be explained away. 

Sorry, I only packed these shorts today. I didn’t realize they were against dress code. 

It was easy to not look then, to hardly be affected by silly teenage girls who had no idea what they were doing. He could go to the teachers lounge and flirt with the TA’s if he was really looking for someone younger. But younger isn’t necessarily what Negan liked. ‘Innocent’ wasn’t something he thought he could get into. But with you? He had all control, every single aspect of your life was in his hands - and he knows he fucked up. He knows he fucked you up… but he’d gone and fucked himself up too. Finding himself wanting to teach you everything. So caught up in the knowledge of how bad you want him makes him feel like a king - moreso than any amount of wives. You only wanted him. You only knew him.

Oblivious to Negan’s dirty secret and because he’d threatened to stop seeing you if you continued this flirting behavior you stick with subtle stuff. Wearing even lower cut shirts, mini-skirts and stockings. And sure, the stockings had holes in them. But Negan liked that even more than if they hadn’t. It let him imagine you weren’t this pristine untouched thing. He wasn’t sure which was worse; fantasizing about you as this perfect little doll that’s never been held by anyone, that doesn’t know anything about a man’s body or as this thing he’d corrupted. Giving you romance novels? What an amateur mistake on a colossal scale. 

When you started wearing skirts he could smell you. Your wet cunt, sweet and unmistakable, every single time you walked into his bedroom for lunch. He tries to ignore it, tells the kitchen to make more pungent food, wears cologne, but it doesn’t matter - he could pick your scent out of a line-up of the undead, having had weeks to memorize it. 

Negan’s cologne only makes you more wet for him. You can barely make it through lunch anymore. Trying your best to keep up with the conversation that you’re almost positive he’s phoning in as well, but it’s not easy when all you can think about is him stuffing you full on the bed that sits a dozen feet away. You’re desperate to make a move and terrified that any move you make will disrupt everything. 

You scour your books for some kind of clue on what to do next, how to make it impossible for him to say no - but there’s no obvious answer. With no experience to tell you that Negan was losing his goddamn mind waiting for you to make a move or proposition so that he could oblige it. 

He gets sick of waiting. Sick of drinking down his disgust with himself. It only makes the fantasies more vivid. Almost tangible and right there. All he really had to do? Touch you. And he knows it. 

He’d stopped getting you gifts and novels after that night, but today? Today he had something real fuckin’ special. 

You’re sitting across from him eating… only desserts? Weird choice, but still delicious. “What’s the occasion?” You ask, taking a bite of the strawberry shortcake set out in front of you. 

“Do I need a special occasion to treat my favorite girl?” He says it so casually, but he’s never said anything like that to you before. 

“Okay,” you breathe out a chuckle, “who are you and what have you done with my uncle?” 

“Woah now, ‘Uncle’?” The title made him visibly uncomfortable, but not because he didn’t like it. He was too far gone with you, and now anything that made it more taboo just spurred his hunger further. 

You breathe in deeply, as if you’d just confessed to something. Simply put, you had. He knows how bad you want it. He can smell it on you, and you didn’t care he was your family. Not even just your almost supposed ‘guardian’, no. You saw him as your uncle and you still wanted it. Bad. “Yeah, you are my uncle, aren’t you?” 

“That makes you my niece.” He says it like it’s news. Not understanding that he’s trying to gauge your reaction. 

For some reason, it makes your heart pound. Your ears get hot, and that same smile you’d tried to will away that night he’d forced a confession out of you (in the form of a moan at his touch) blossoms on your face. Pink cheeked and starry eyed, “It does,” you nod, you really don’t know any better, “Anyway, what’s all this about?” 

Negan scrambles for an answer that isn’t the one he can’t say out loud, “Missed your birthday, wanted to… make it up to you.” His voice is low, droning, and it makes you shift in your seat, crossing your legs. Negan notices and smirks at your body giving you away. You’re so easy. 

“Oh… thanks.” You take another bite of the shortcake before moving your fork to his plate to take a bite of chocolate cake. He lets you, he’s been letting you get away with so much more disrespect than he’d ever allow from anyone else. Telling himself that no teenager shouldn’t be getting away with little stuff like that, but really it’s because he likes it. He wishes you would take more control, and just ask him already. He’d wished for weeks that you would press yourself up against him like you had before he’d made you aware of your own feelings for him. And he hates that he told you that you weren’t allowed. That it was wrong. Because it is, but he doesn’t care anymore. 

He’s sick of waiting for you to understand how to make a move, “I got you a little something too.”

It’s almost unbelievable that he’d gotten this for you. One of the saviors had tried to smuggle it to keep for himself, and once Negan saw it… he couldn’t think of something better for you. “Now close your eyes,” he purrs. 

You slam your eyes shut and put out your hands eager to receive another gift. Feeling a hard plastic case being slipped into your fingers, “Now open them.” 

It was a… you had no idea. Looking up at him in confusion you’re met with a look of complete and total satisfaction from Negan. Smiling wide at your reaction. “What is it?” You whisper, smiling back. 

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll show you.” And he winks. He fucking winks. You’re a mess. You’re putty. You have no idea what this little pink egg shaped thing is, enclosed in the plastic balanced in your hands, but you know it’s something… different. He can tell you still have no clue what it is, what it’s for, but he sits and waits for your thanks. 

You can feel it, your legs tremble as you’re about to stand up but you stop yourself. You’re not supposed to flirt with him. And he told you that that’s what hugging him is. At least when you do it. You look to him, chewing on your lip, you want to feel him pressed against you so bad it’s making your knee bounce in anxious anticipation. You think about the fact that if you were hugging him you’d be able to smell his cologne even stronger, maybe you could even get away with kissing him on the cheek. After all, you could just blame it on the gift again. 

He’s just sitting there, leaned back in his chair, staring toward the window. It would be so easy to just… you get up and crash down into his lap. Draping your arms around him, pulling your face into the crook of his neck like you always do. This time is different, like everything else has been different since that night. You can’t will yourself to move. Your breath caught in your throat as your gaze travels upward. All you can see is his neck, his chin still pointed away like he’s trying to hold himself together. You feel a guilt creeping into your periphery but it’s drowned out by the heat between your legs. Without even realizing you’re doing it, you plant your lips on his neck. 

He’s quick to react, his hand coming to grip your thigh just as instinctually as you had kissed him. Negan is sick of waiting, he was not built for this. “Do you want me to show you how to use your gift?” 

You’re melting, all your senses dizzy with his hand so firmly on your leg. Feeling his calloused palm through the tears in your stockings, your skin prickles. He puts his one arm underneath your legs and the other under your arms and picks you up, placing you gently back down in his chair. The suspense courses through you, tightening and moving to your limbs. The personification and embodiment of an exclamation point, you’re trembling as he stalks around the room. Taking the still unopened gift off of the table, you hear the click of the knife from behind you as he paces. He’s cutting into it as he leans down and breathes in your ear, “If you want me to stop, you tell me to stop, okay?” 

You nod in response, trying to swallow the knot in your throat.  He keeps talking, walking around to face you again as he gets the small mysterious device free from its packaging. “I fucked up with you,” you can tell he’s going to start monologuing like he always does, building up the anticipation you already can’t take. Your hands pulling at the hem of your skirt because you don’t know what else to do with them. “I want you to know that I know I’ve made mistakes. I’ve really really fucked up your pretty little head.” As he speaks he moves back around behind you. Cheeks flushing at the compliment. He’d called you pretty. 

“But don’t worry, kid,” his voice in your ear feels like his stubble beneath your lips that you’ve imagined so many times, “I’m gonna fix you right up.”

His hand glides down your chest from above you and your body dramatically arches into his touch. Shivering as he moves his way down to one leg, pulling on your stocking to maneuver the limb onto the arm-rest. He does the same with the other, as if you’re some doll he’s positioning. You’re putty, not a single ounce of resistance inside of you. He moves his hand to lift up your skirt, letting it fall to your stomach. Unable to look at yourself in such a provocative position you close your eyes. 

“Holy shit, girl.” Negan’s smile devours him as he takes it all in. You’re not wearing underwear underneath your stockings, something he was absolutely not expecting. Your pretty pussy all smashed up against the mesh, your juices seeping through. In the light it almost sparkles. He’s never seen a damn thing like it. He hadn’t even done anything yet, and you were a shaking mess in his chair. Waiting so patiently for him to fix you. 

He had planned on putting the little vibrator against the fabric of your panties and stockings, and while he still could… he can’t stop himself from putting his warm hand between your legs instead. He doesn’t want to stop himself, he wasn’t built for that. Fuck the piece of shit vibrator and fuck all of his stupid fucking plans to take this slow. No, he knows what you really need. Him. 

His big hand comes to rest on top of your mound, pressing his fingers flat against the wet fabric of your stockings hard. The pressure.. the warmth.. your hands immediately shoot up from your sides grabbing his forearm as you gasp at the feeling. Pulling yourself even more flush against him, any piece of him you can get. 

You’re shaking, Negan can’t think straight. All plans out the window, that smell, he needs to taste you. He rubs his whole hand, all four warm fingers, against the sopping fabric in circles for only a few seconds before bringing his hand up to his nose and taking a deep breath in of your scent. (He won’t lick you from his fingers, that’s somehow beneath him.)

You whimper under his touch and whine when he pulls away, but you don’t move other than to put your arms flat against the armrests of the chair. He was going to fix you, right? So you submit, not really even understanding how to react to any of this. 

His dick is so hard against the fabric of his pants that it hurts. He tries to readjust, but it only makes him groan. Your neck cranes at the noise, but before you can get a look he’s in front of you, pulling up on the mesh directly above your heat, taking the knife he’d still been holding and cutting into it. The sound of the stockings tearing only makes Negan’s dick harder, revealing your glistening cunt like unwrapping a fucking present. Just for him, all for him. He did this… all of it. 

He rips the fabric more before pulling your hips closer to the edge of the chair and kneeling down on one knee. His face buries against you with a haste you weren’t expecting, your body shooting up at the feeling. So sharp and too much, you squirm against his tongue but he keeps you still. Growling into your cunt, “I said I’m going to take care of you, doll, so you have to let me.  Stop. Moving. Just…” his tone softens, and he kisses you sweetly on your hood, “relax.” 

Negan dives back in more gently this time, taking in the taste of you slowly. Drinking from you, he’s never tasted anything so sweet. So pristine. His tongue swathing in large laps against your lips, you’re trying your best to relax but your orgasm builds faster than you can tolerate. It felt like fucking magic, filling you with stars that buzzed all the colors of the rainbow. He flicks his tongue between your folds, directly onto that spot and your orgasm shoots through you like a bullet. From your core to the top of your head, no orgasm you’d ever had had felt like that. It left you wanting, it wasn’t enough. Your walls pulsate, gushing thick white perfect ecstasy into Negan’s mouth. He snickers against you, his nose resting gently on your still quivering clit. 

He doesn’t want to wait - picking you up like you weigh absolutely nothing, bringing you and your dizzy head to lay gently on his satin sheets. Bliss; and yet, you yearned. 

Inside. 

Your whole body shouting, the personification and embodiment of a fucking exclamation point. His belt clacks against your sensitive folds as he races to get himself inside.

And then, all of a sudden and just like that - you’re whole. His lips smashing into yours in a desperate need to claim every part of you. 

When he’d imagined it in his head you were naked, all skin and blush and like sweet honey coating his senses. It was all different, but he didn’t mind you like this. Clothing soaked with sweat and your own sweet nectar; he felt like he was in high school and he’s taking your virginity underneath the bleachers. All limbs and throbbing need and no time, no breath to waste.

 He kisses you deep and rough until you can’t breathe and you pull away, still adjusting to his size which you imagine is large from the discomfort inside of you, snaring itself into your vision like white flashes of electricity.

His first few labored thrusts hurt like you imagined it would, though it’s not like anything you’ve felt before. The burn of your walls stretching over him makes your breath hitch sharply in your throat, “That’s a good girl,” he purrs in your ear as he pulls out and slams into you harder. Tears sting your eyes as you nod into his shoulder, silently willing him to keep going. Don’t stop. He couldn’t stop even if you’d asked him too, your pussy is too wet, too hungry and swallowing him whole. He knows what you need, he can tell, even if you couldn’t. You need this. 

Negan is seeing fucking stars, your hole stretching so perfectly around him like it never needed anything more, “Fu-uck,” he’s not going to last 5 minutes. He leans back, taking your hips and pulling them off of the bed to stay attached to his while he fucks you like that. Your shoulders still down against the bed, you’d never read about a position like this and it hurts but you like it. Your eyes traveling down his body as he buries himself slowly into you. All the way to the hilt, and that’s when you see it.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, causing him to look down and see what was going on but he had already pulled back. 

“Hm?” His tone is amused. 

“Do it again,” you whine. He smirks a brilliant flash of white teeth, before his face completely falters at the sight when he presses himself all the way into you again. Both of your eyes wide as the outline of his cock protrudes from your belly. 

“Jesus,” his voice is loud, it seems to vibrate your brain against your skull. He draws himself out of you and shoves back in - more unceremoniously than previous. He’d been trying his best to not hurt you, to take it as slow as he could manage; but seeing his hard length poke out of your body was too divine, way too fucking hot for him to not lose any semblance of control he’d had. 

Negan drowns you out, your loud screams, your hands clawing at his forearms, as he rails into you. Eyes fixed on your stomach as he watches; he doesn’t even realize you’re cumming until your hips shake violently in his grip. Your walls clench so tight his cock is pushed out. Negan clicks his tongue, as if you’d done something wrong. Moving himself in position back on top of you, his elbows coming to rest above your shoulders, his whole being swallowing you up. Your arms and legs wrap around him to try and still your shaking body as he ruts up and into you like a wild animal, his breathing jagged, his movements much less languid. Rough and desperate and all consuming. 

Using your body like a toy to get himself off, he’s hardly paying attention anymore. Grunting curses that you’re trying to memorize through a hazy veil of satisfaction.

He’s. Falling. Apart.  

And it’s wet and hot and so deep inside you that you can feel it in your fucking throat. You scream, loud, as he empties himself inside you.

Quickly, too quickly, he pulls himself out. He wants to watch his seed spill out and onto the gray sheets. You’d said you fucking sucked at painting, but Negan thinks this is the most beautiful piece of art he’s ever fucking seen. His cum dripping out of your freshly and newly used pussy in soft glistening strings to pool underneath of you, the white in stark contrast to the dark fabric is something real fuckin’ special. 

He’s smiling, kneeling above you with his hands on your stockinged knees as he watches between your legs. You’re in another world, on another planet and lost in your senses. It was everything you’d dreamed it’d be. Heaven. 

Negan had every intention on this being a one time thing. After all, hysteria was curable - but as he lays back on the bed to catch his breath he’s already caught dreaming about you in every position, any way he can place you. His perfect little toy, all just for him. Only his. 

[brabblesblog]

Sounds like a plan.

Drabble set right after act II’s confession scene. What if Tav didn’t feel quite alright with Astarion’s manipulation, and tried to just go along with it for his sake?

Angst with a happy ending. Also a tiny bit of Gale. Enjoy!

Read on AO3.

Masterlist.

He starts to notice when you stop smiling at him.

Oh, you'd smirk and laugh when talking to him, but that wasn't it - you just didn't smile.

That one he'd craved so much to see, the one that made your eyes crinkle and your nose flare a little. That smile. He hadn't seen it since the night he confessed his feelings to you.

He’d worry about it more, if you two didn’t spend every waking moment together. If you didn’t move into his tent. Didn’t cuddle with him every night, and woke up tangled in his arms every dawn.

So he put it aside for now. Your relationship was a new and fragile thing, and he dared not risk it.

That is, until he noticed you smiling like that with Gale. Astarion had just been walking back to camp from a hunt, when he had heard your voice and Gale’s and had inadvertently began to eavesdrop.

You had been sitting by the campfire with the wizard, reading one of those raunchy romance novels Shadowheart had given you. The two of you were huddled close together, knees touching, chortling and snorting as you read the passages aloud.

“I don’t think elves have… appendages of that size,” Gale remarks after a particularly salacious line. “Would they?” He shoots you a particularly nasty smirk.

You laugh, all pretense thrown aside. “I haven’t seen enough elf cock to know,” you mumble. “Or any other type of cock, for that matter.”

Gale chuckles. “You’ve been sleeping with one, have you not?” There is a small note of sadness in Gale’s voice when he says this, and you note it. You had turned the wizard down for Astarion.

The laugh that was about to come out of you dies at Gale’s words. You remember sleeping with Astarion, remember how your relationship started, how-

You shake your head, trying to clear out those thoughts. You want to just have fun right now, not think about your complicated situation. Gale notices, and he closes the spicy book. He looks to you, those large eyes holding nothing but affection and concern for you.

“Is something the matter? Anything you need, I’ll be there,” he reminds. He may not be your partner, but he’s still one of your closest friends in camp.

“Actually.” You weigh your options. No one seemed to be here at camp, and so you decide to confide in your friend. “Yes. There.. there is a problem. With.. with Astarion and I.”

Astarion initially rolls his eyes as he hears this conversation. It’s just banter, and he doesn’t mind. What made him stay there and listen in for a moment was the sound of your laughter. It was so genuine and he had not heard it in what felt like forever. He felt a pang of jealousy that of all people, Gale had been the one to bring it out of you. As he prepared to go back to your shared tent, he finally heard you mention his name. He froze, immediately rooted to the spot by fear. He had to know what was wrong. He had to fix it before you left him.

Gale puts a comforting hand on your knee. “Then I will lend you my ears. I shall keep your confidence.”

“It’s- it’s hard to explain,” you begin, speaking gently. “Does it make sense if I say I understand why he would do something he did, but it hurts anyways?”

“More than you know,” Gale replies somberly. “You understand their reasons. Sympathize, even. But you can’t help how you feel.” He pauses, considering it. “Does he know?”

“No.” You shake your head, answering without hesitation. “I didn’t want to give him more things to worry about. He..”

He already has too many things on his plate, you figured, and your petty little issues are nothing compared to what he’s going through.

Gale nods. “And you didn’t want to burden him. I understand.” He clears his throat. “I’m not a good choice for advice regarding relationships, however- it’s common knowledge that hiding things from each other so early on is a portent for disaster. I hope you know that.”

“I know, Gale,” you say, your tone sharpening. Then you let out a sigh, forcing yourself to calm down. “I just don’t want to hurt him any more than he’s already been hurt. I can’t hate him for what he did to me, but I want to hate him for how much it hurts.”

Your voice breaks at the last moment, and you bury yourself in Gale’s shoulder. He wraps a comforting arm around you, letting you finally let out those feelings you’ve been bottling in.

“I thought,” you gasp, “that he’d finally be the one person to actually want me for me.”

Astarion, hidden in the periphery of the camp, sees and hears everything. He keeps silent, as his own heart rips at the sound of your sobbing. Of course. How could he have been so blind? How could he have just assumed you were okay with what he did? After his confession, you had said everything was okay, and he had taken it at face value.

Gods damned it, Astarion thinks. As the conversation dies and you gradually shift to just sobbing into Gale’s shoulder, Astarion slips away.

You head back to your shared tent and hour or so later, opening the flaps. To your surprise, your lover sits there. He snaps upwards the moment your face pokes in, as if he had been waiting for just that exact moment.

“You’re back early,” you say, slipping in and closing the flap behind you. You drop to your knees and crawl towards the bedroll beside him, exhausted.

“Caught a boar quite early on. I daresay I got a bit lucky,” is the reply, delivered in a tone that just sounded off to your ears. He moves to wrap an arm around you, pulling you close to him. “And you, darling? Catching up with the wizard?” He tries to go for nonchalant, and absolutely fails it.

You notice it then, the way he’s actually not even breathing. The way his chest is stiff as a board, the way his fingers tremble.

“Astarion,” you squeeze your eyes shut. “You heard.”

“Every word,” he says, a pained sigh escaping his lips. His arm stops pulling you close. You turn to face him, and you see his face, more pained than you have ever seen him before. When he had confessed, he looked frightened. This time he looked resigned. You watch him clench his jaw, preparing to say the words he knew he should say.

Astarion takes a small, sharp breath. He meets your gaze.

“I hurt you.” The statement is quiet, emotionless. “You shouldn’t have told me you were okay, darling. You should have let me know.” His jaw works again, and he struggles to say the next words.

“I’ve put your things in your pack. You can leave whenever you wish.”

He tries not to cry. Not to beg for you to stay. Because you deserve to go. You deserve real, and if you can’t be real with him, then he isn’t the one who deserves you. Swallowing, his hand caresses your cheek. “I am sorry.”

Sorry he can’t give you what you deserve. Sorry he hurt you. Sorry he was what he was.

You sit up. You try to see what he’s thinking, to see if this relationship still had anything to salvage. But here in the dark, it’s very hard to tell. You brace yourself; the thing missing here was communication, and you’ll be damned if you don’t try to do just that before it all blows up.

“Do you want this, Astarion? Us?”

A quick, quiet hiss of pain breaks the silence. His eyes brighten, filling up with tears. They don’t fall just yet.

“Yes. Gods, yes.”

Your own shoulders drop, and you exhale.

“Then I’m going nowhere. But I suppose we should talk about what you overheard.”

He exhales, relief flooding his features. The guardedness isn’t quite gone yet, however. He makes no move to close the gap. Instead he sits up, matching your position.

“What else is there to say? I manipulated you. You felt a lot less gracious about it than you originally thought. Seems about the sum of it, no?”

There is a little defensiveness there. As if he’s already building walls in the event of your departure.

“Somewhat, but not quite.” You clear your throat. “I don’t blame you. I’m not upset at you. Or resentful. Or whatever else you think I am. Before anything else, I want you to know that.”

His eyes widen, surprised. He had overheard the conversation; he should have known this. But hearing it so directly said was different. You can see his shoulders sag as the tension leaves his body, as that terrible knot in his heart starts to loosen. He nods, acknowledging your statement and an encouragement to continue.

“I’m just hurt.” That was the root of all of it, really. “I’m hurt, but I didn’t want you to know. You already suffer so much, that it felt…” you trail off, trying to find the words.

“Frivolous, darling?” He suggests. As you nod he continues. “Just because I’m going through things doesn’t mean there’s no space… for your feelings,” he begins tentatively. He takes one more small breath, then reaches across to take your hand, just like he did that night he confessed.

“I’ve spent two hundred years carrying my own burdens. You have shared my load. Please. Let me lighten yours too.”

You scan his face, on instinct, trying to see any signs of insincerity. There is none. His eyes are round and open, and his hand remains on yours, palm up, an invitation for you to come to him.

You choke back tears, leaning forward to touch your foreheads together. “It’s just that I wished you were.. that we started differently. That you wanted me..”

“For you,” he says, repeating what you said to Gale. “I know. And I might not have, at the start. I might have seen you as a means to an end.”

He gathers his courage and moves to wrap his arms around you. “But now I do,” he whispers against your ear. “I want you for you.”

You melt into his arms then, moulding yourself to his torso as you cry yet again. But unlike your tears when talking to Gale, this feels like relief. Like home.

He shushes you, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “You said you aren’t upset at all. But you can. We can..” he thinks for a moment, then proceeds. “We can take some time apart, if that’s what you want. We can take a step back and see if we can end up back here again.”

Saying that felt like torture for him. But he knew it needed to be said. You needed to have that option.

You shake your head. “No. I’m- I would very much rather be in this, whatever this is,” you say with a teary laugh. “But you’re right. I think I’ll still need some time to go through it and accept everything.”

“Just don’t forget, Astarion. It’s not your fault. It’s not,” you say vehemently. “I’m just hurt, but I’m not holding you responsible.”

He wants to protest, but knows better than to. Instead he nods. Carefully he cups your face in his hands, and you shiver as his cool palms make contact with your wet cheeks.

He kisses the tears away, each kiss a soft, feather-light brush against your skin.

“Thank you,” he murmurs. For your kindness. For your forgiveness and grace. For your love, although he couldn’t even use that word yet, even to himself. For the gift of yourself, always so generously given, from the very start.

He wishes he could someday live up to your love. That he would be worth everything you give him. He tries to voice this out.

“If you’re staying, then… it gives me a challenge, mm?” He tries to smile. “I’ll try to be worth the trouble. But no promises, darling.”

You huff out a laugh. This beautiful, strong, insufferable man. How could he think he wasn’t worth it to you? But you understood. You felt the same way.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you say. “As for me, well. I don’t imagine I’ll ever be worth all that, either.”

“Then we’ll be worthless together,” he says without missing a beat. If you only knew how special he thought you were. How worthy. How you make him want to be better.

He presses his lips to yours, finally. Sealing your words together. A promise for you two to share each other’s burdens. Together.

“Sounds like a plan,” you agree.

[roploem]

Accidentally became a god SY au:

Shen yuan dies and gets transported to a weird in between of worlds. Obviously he is panicked thinking that a fu€king meat bun killed him, when the system appears and explains he is going to become SQQ.

SY starts to screech and fight against the system, because he does NOT want to become a human stick!!! So the system finally decides that it’s going to fw SY in a different way…

So SY gets to customize his own character!! But the system won’t let him choose normal colored hair… whatever!! what awesome and cool character doesn’t have some unique colored hair! So he chooses white, because it can go with any clothes AND it looks cool and elegant. He just sets his other settings to random (the system removes the max on his stats…)

So a white haired SY gets transported to a random forest in PIDW… and when he tries to approach any village, they panic thinking he is a demon… he isn’t!! So to prove he isn’t a demon he uses his strangely large amount of Qi to heal injuries and other such things…

Suddenly the towns folk have done a 180 and are treating him so well!! He is being given food, a place to stay, and any trashy novel he wants!!

Little does he know they all basically worship him and the ground he walks on…

I’m not sure where in the time line this would be, or what ship I should do… but honestly it’s kinda open.

(I have more of an urge to make this one than the other ones I have made… what do y’all think I should do for the timeline and ship?)

[sapphicjackal]

Bingyuan Soulmate au 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Shen Yuan told himself he would wait until the next day to read the web novel he found, Proud Immortal Demon Way. The web novel had only been uploaded for 20 days now, making it fairly new and unknown. It was probably only because Shen Yuan had searched with keywords that the exact webpage came up. So far it only had 4 chapters, each one being a reasonably sizable length.

Normally, this was the kind of story that Shen Yuan would truly enjoy.

It seemed intriguing and held great promise. The bits of world building that had already been sprinkled in were captivating and promising. Shen Yuan could see the makings of a great premise.

However-

The protagonist is named Luo Binghe, and this is a story of his suffering. 

The first chapter starts with a baby, one abandoned to float down the freezing Luochun river during the coldest night of winter. Named Luo Binghe, the unwanted orphan lived on the streets. How he survived infancy was left vague, but he was eventually taken in by a poor washerwoman who had little to provide other than the love in her heart.

Luo Binghe wanted for nothing, even while having so little. He was spat on and bullied by the masters that his adoptive mother worked for, but he was content purely because he had his mother. She taught him to cook and she brushed his hair while telling him stories of peerless immortal cultivators. 

She worked tirelessly to provide for him, all without a single complaint and wearing a warm smile. She saved meticulously for a long while to be able to afford a jade Guanyin pendant for her son, only to find out that the jade was fake. The heartbreak of it all took its toll, especially when there was no extra money for food and her health began to take a turn for the worse.

Luo Binghe had to beg for food to give her, and work to get her medicine. On the day she died, he went out to beg in order to get her a bowl of watery congee. He was beaten for the right to have a cold bowl of food, and by the time he returned, she was already dead.

From there, he lived another two and a half years on the streets until he turned 10, the minimum age requirement to take the test for the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Renowned as the top cultivation sect in the world, it was also the only sect open for anyone to join so long as they had potential and were chosen by a Peak Lord. 

Luo Binghe traveled up the countless stairs and threw all of his effort into digging a hole, wishing with all his heart to be chosen. He was overjoyed when a peerless immortal cultivator stopped before him, one who looked distinguished and elegant, dressed in greens and white. Luo Binghe was the only one chosen for the second highest ranked peak, Qing Jing Peak.

This should have marked the turning point for Luo Binghe’s miserable luck, the beginnings of something good.

The first chapter ends with Luo Binghe’s tea ceremony, with his new Master dumping hot tea over his head with a cold look of disdain. Luo Binghe’s tears mixed with the dripping tea while his Shizun scoffed at him, proclaiming him a worthless Beast. Shen Qingqiu tossed him his manual, telling him with a sneer to learn it well before kicking him out.

Things don’t get better.

The next day, Luo Binghe received his materials from the Head Disciple, Ming Fan. He was only given the worst of what they could offer, and he was barred from being allowed inside of the Disciple Dormitory. Luo Binghe was forced to find shelter in the woodshed which became his home.

It marked the start of the relentless bullying from Ming Fan and the other disciples. Shen Qingqiu had clearly marked the boy as a pariah, meaning the whole Peak left him to fend for himself. He was kicked out of lessons with some Hallmasters, and given endless chores that kept him from attending the classes he was allowed in. The only person who treated him kindly was Ning Yingying, but this only drew further ire from Ming Fan who had a crush on her.

Life was miserable, but Luo Binghe did his best to rise above it. He did his work, and he learned what he could. It took months for him to even be able to read his manual, but once he could, Luo Binghe threw himself into studying cultivation. Only. He didn’t know that the manual was a fake. One made to look genuine, but would waste the years of greatest potential for a cultivator, and could even lead to death.

The fourth chapter left off on Luo Binghe being whipped for hours because Ming Fan blamed him for messing something up. Luo Binghe was left bleeding in the dirt while his scum Shizun walked away.

Shen Yuan finished reading with a foul taste in his mouth, staring blankly at his phone screen long enough that it turned off automatically. Normally, this kind of narrative was one that Shen Yuan enjoyed. One where a protagonist starts from nothing and climbs their way to the top, then slaps their faces and takes revenge on everyone who had pushed them into the dirt when they were at their lowest. Shen Yuan liked YY stories, it was easily his favorite genre to read.

Maybe once this could have been the start of Shen Yuan’s favorite story.

Instead he felt nothing but sick.

His soulmate had told him pieces of this information, accompanied by all of the feelings that went along with it. Binghe had told him that his mother died close to three years ago, and how much he missed her. 

Maybe if he found the story first, he would have seen Binghe as a protagonist first. Maybe he would have found it cool to be soulmates with a fictional character. It wasn’t even that hard for Shen Yuan to wrap his head around. He knows tropes very well, and a modern guy finding out he’s soulmates with a fictional character is a popular genre.

But-

Shen Yuan has spent hours writing to his soulmate for the past few days, in those snatches of time that Binghe manages to steal. He’s spent a few days getting to know his Bing-er in all of his earnest and sweet glory. Binghe was a true white lotus, born in the muck yet managing to remain pure despite it all.

Shen Yuan has spent 15 years loving his soulmate. 

Ever since he knew of the concept from his parents. He’s been writing to his soulmate since he could hold a pen, first it was nothing but the sloppy scrawls and doodles of a child, but he learned quickly to write. Literacy had extreme importance in society, and children were taught to read and write as soon as possible so they could communicate with their soulmate, especially among those with wealth.

Binghe has been at the end of every message. 

Even if they’ve only known each other for a short time, Shen Yuan has cared for his soulmate his entire life.

Binghe is more than a protagonist. 

Shen Yuan didn’t manage to sleep a wink. The first half of his night was spent reading, and the second half spent waiting for Binghe to wake up. He knew Binghe rose with the sun, and so he only had a few more hours to kill while waiting. He flipped through tabs on his phone, opening and closing apps restlessly. 

Shen Yuan doesn’t think about his soulmate being abandoned at birth. He doesn’t think about years of getting tormented by those around him. He doesn’t think about a confession laced with pain. This one likes Qing Jing Peak. Qing Jing Peak does not like this Binghe.

No.

Shen Yuan doesn’t think about it at all.

He lost track of time, flinching in surprise when he finally felt the tingling swipe of a brush on skin. Shen Yuan sat up in bed and turned on his lamp, fumbling for his marker. He couldn’t help his smile at Binghe’s words even if he tried. All of the suffocating heaviness was lifted all at once, leaving him feeling light and unburdened.

“Wishing Yuan-ge a happy day!” Binghe had written, his brushstrokes precise and careful, words filled with happiness. 

“Good morning Bing-er.” Shen Yuan responded, returning the sweet greeting of his little white lotus of a soulmate. 

Shen Yuan bit his lip, staring down at his arm. He had thought about what to say for hours now, so he pushed back his strange hesitation and began to write. “You told me you had trouble cultivating, I thought about it last night. The most important part of learning is cross referencing. Is there any way you could look at someone else’s manual?”

“Yuan-ge?” Binghe wrote, shining with innocent curiosity.

“Make sure your material is real. People could be trying to hurt Bing-er with fake material.” Shen Yuan asked, full of worry and suspicion. 

“This one will check.” Binghe responded, he felt faintly skeptical, but completely truthful. It took a heavy weight off of Shen Yuan that he didn’t even realize he was carrying.

“Thank you, Bing-er. I hope I’m wrong.” Shen Yuan wrote, feeling utterly relieved though it was threaded with an underlying anxiety. 

Shen Yuan went through the rest of his day with Binghe’s situation lingering in his mind. He ate breakfast the chef made with his mother and meimei, both his father and his older brothers already left for work. He went back to his room and did his schoolwork.

Technically, Shen Yuan attends the best private academy in Beijing. However, he doesn’t actually go onto the campus because of his health concerns. His parents worked it out so that all of his work is sent to the house and his tests are administered by teachers who come to him instead. 

Shen Yuan used to resent it when he was younger, wishing that he could go to class with other kids and make friends, but now he’s glad he does have to spend most of his day surrounded by other teenagers.

In addition to his standard curriculum, his mother also has him tutored in the four arts. It was something that Shen Yuan actually enjoyed though his siblings found it to be tedious. Now he would have to take it even more seriously and learn more outside of his lessons so that he could teach it to his soulmate. 

Hours earlier than he expected, Shen Yuan feels a brush on his skin. He can immediately tell something is wrong, the feelings are overwhelming, upset, and heartbroken. Shen Yuan excused himself from dinner and went to his room, checking his wrist.

“You were right, Yuan-ge. It was fake.” Binghe wrote, full of helpless anger, bitterness, and pain.

Shen Yuan swallowed heavily, feeling furious for Binghe. The confirmation that his soulmate's life is at the very least connected to the web novel was something that Shen Yuan would need to think about later. For now, he needs to comfort his soulmate.

“I’m so sorry, Bing-er. You deserve better.” Shen Yuan wrote, wishing that he could do more for Binghe to keep him safe. If everything is true in that web novel, then right now his soulmate was living in a woodshed. A fucking woodshed. He was being hurt by everyone around him and doesn’t have a single good thing to his name. 

Binghe deserves nothing but the best and now Shen Yuan is all too aware that Luo Binghe has been forsaken by those around him. Shen Yuan wants to find the author and thrash them until they answer why Luo Binghe has to suffer. Why did they do this the the sweetest person that Shen Yuan has ever met? How can they stand to hurt Luo Binghe who has never done anything wrong but had the whole world against him from the start?

“Yuan-ge.” Binghe wrote, his brushstrokes shaky and filled with desperation, longing, loneliness, and pain.

Shen Yuan choked on secondhand pain, feeling his heart break for the overwhelming betrayal that Binghe has suffered. Shen Yuan wishes nothing more than to be there for his soulmate, but all he can do is write. 

Shen Yuan concentrates on sending comfort and love, writing messages one after another to his Binghe.

“My Bing-er, I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“We’ll figure this out, Bing-er, I’ll help you.”

“I’m so sorry Bing-er, you deserve better than this.”

“Bing-er deserves the world, I would give it to you if I could.”

“I’m here, Binghe.”

Shen Yuan runs out of space on their left arm, so he leans over to begin writing on his leg. He choses one sentence, the most important truth he wants to impart onto his soulmate. He writes small, repeating the line uniformly spaced out one on top of the other until it fills the skin from his ankle to his knee. 

When Binghe still hasn’t responded, Shen Yuan starts writing a symmetrical series of lines on his other leg.

“Binghe is precious.”

He had nearly finished on his second leg when he finally received a reply from Binghe, right above their knee.

“I wish Yuan-ge was here.” Binghe wrote, his words containing fathomless amounts of yearning.

Shen Yuan grit his teeth, wishing he could fulfill Binghe’s wish. He wanted nothing more than to give Binghe everything. Everything he deserves, all the love he should receive. Shen Yuan feels useless, but he pushes that away.

All he can do is try his best to help Binghe in any way he can.

That day, Shen Yuan subscribes to Proud Immortal Demon Way, and he never misses reading an update as soon as it is uploaded. He leaves comments criticizing the author for making Luo Binghe’s life so needlessly miserable. He hopes the author will listen and lessen Binghe’s suffering.

[bad-tf-fic-ideas]

(314) Today's fic idea is a novel system of cybertronian reproduction: sexual reproduction, for a cybertronian, involves a process of igniting and then nurturing a spark next to one's own until it is just about large enough to sustain itself, and then sacrificing one's own elemental metals and sentio metallico to create a tiny, savage little thing that is — at least in the beginning — mostly teeth. They then eat their way out of their parent over the course of about a year.

Cybertronian young (sparklings, also affectionately called "teethlings," "bolt-biters," or "the bane of my fragging existence,") then spend their early years gnawing on and consuming metal around them. Their parent is always the biggest, biologically safest, and most nutrient dense source of such material, so that is what they eat and it is up to their parent to prevent them from chewing through anything too important (accidents are common). After about a decade of this, they have absorbed enough resources for their nanites to construct a more complex processor, so they start distinguishing themselves with more significant personality traits.

Given the pain, inconvenience and resource intense nature of this process, it's little wonder cybertronians have historically chosen to reproduce non-sexually — you know, the religious way. Thanks be to Primus, etc., etc. As a species that invests so very much in its young through this method, it would be particularly disadvantageous to attempt it in an active war zone.

Only... the hot spots are gone. Vector Sigma is a long way away and might be gone, too. The allspark is lost. And a lot of cybertronians have died. Their numbers are dwindling.

When it starts to seem less like insanity and more like your only option, what do you do? Well, if you're an Autobot, you ask for volunteers. And Optimus Prime would never ask his people to volunteer for a process he won't undertake himself.

[violetdisasterzone]

yet another svsss hill I'm dying on despite the apparent popular opinion — bingqiu would be great parents! give them a decade of peace and quiet to start healing from the trauma of.. everything and to get comfortable in the fact that their love and commitment to the other is reciprocated equally, and I can 100% see them wanting some little ones.

Shen Qingqiu overcame both his age AND gender to become Cang Qiong's resident milf in a matter of days after his transmigration. He's great with kids - as Shen Yuan he had a younger sister who he likely helped raise or was at least somewhat close with, he obviously loves teaching and doting on his disciples, he's immediately protective of random-abandoned-toddler!Binghe in the dream realm after escaping from the Water Prison, and obviously in the Return to Childhood extra he's (the only one) having a great time. you're telling me he WOULDN'T want a baby version of Binghe for real??

and as for Luo Binghe himself, the joke/argument I see most often is that he'd be jealous of the baby for taking his shizun's time and attention away from him. first of all, by the end of the novel, do you know how many times that man has died in his arms, pushed him away, or been separated from him in some other very traumatic ways, mostly while he was being influenced by an evil sword that amplified his worst intrusive thoughts? do you know how many people WOULD take Shen Qingqiu away, given the chance?! I think he deserves to be a bit paranoid!! but again, with a bit more distance and healing from his traumas, time, and reassurance that Shen Qingqiu really is staying, I fully believe he will mellow out in that regard. with that aside, Luo Binghe is a total mama's boy, he's a part-time emperor full-time housewife, and his greatest dream has always been to be a family with Shen Qingqiu. I don't think it's a stretch at all to imagine that someday in the future, he would want to grow that family with him too. and although we don't see him interacting with children in canon the way we do Shen Qingqiu, I cannot imagine him not loving his kids, a tangible result of their love, to pieces too.

[pennyblossom-meta]

L Lawliet: a deep dive into the expanded universe pt.01

EDIT (07/04/2024): Added some imgs.

Apologies for being so late to give this a follow up to @maevearcher's meta which can be found here and here. As usual, she’s made excellent points and I'll try to answer the ones which caught my eye.

Since this post ended up gaining a life of its own and becoming a bit too long, I’m splitting it in 2 or 3 parts. The core of the content for part 01 starts after under the button to Read More.

Here we talk about L's humanity.

I'll start with a disclaimer of my own: while I consider the manga as the base for the story, I'm very much open to the expanded DN universe as a complementary study of the characters and their motivations — sometimes even filling in the blanks for some of the background mysteries, such as the dynamics of Wammy's House and how L's successors view him.

To further clarify: by canon I mean the manga and any works by Tsugumi Ohba as the base material. I think @maevearcher and I are more or less in agreement on that, from what she mentioned in her own posts. As she said, the written word is indeed the baseline truth.

The expansion of the DN universe also has its own very special set of problems; for example, in many ways, L:CtW (L: Change the WorLd) commits the sin of overindulgence by throwing in considerations that, arguably, go against canon. Besides the ending where L lives for a final 23 days and Watari dies, the portrayal of Near in the movie (though in the novel he's also walking a fine line between becoming partially and very much OOC) is also a point of contention. I confess that I really wasn't fond of the way they portrayed Misa as a potential crush of L given canon insights on his opinion about Light whether in the role of Kira or as a person (pg.64 of Vol 13: How to Read, henceforth referred to as V13:HTR), but aligning L to become more humane and forgiving was at least interesting.

The same happens with the live action movies, the 2015 series, and the musical. At least the game Spiraling Trap isn't clashing with canon elements — that I could tell. The main plot is separate from the events of DN and the dating sim is a little slice of heaven into L's thoughts and emotions which I dearly love.

However, while L:CtW does indeed overindulge, the novel AN:LABB (Another Note: LA BB Murder Cases) gives us a singular glimpse into L through the eyes of Mello while keeping the events mostly accurate to the main plot, even with its slight deviations. It's certainly an optional perspective to the core of DN, but one that I always found very insightful. In V13:HTR, Obha mentions how he would’ve liked that there were more novels about L and how he solved previous cases, in a similar fashion to how Nisio Isin approaches AN:LABB. Here’s what Ohba says in pg.61 of V13:HTR:

(...) I didn’t think up much for [L’s] past. For him to be in such an influential position, he must have solved an amazing amount of cases, but I have no idea what kind of cases they were or how he solved them. But I would love for NISIOISIN, who wrote the Death Note novel, to write more stories about that (...)

This means that, to some extent, even the original author, Ohba, accepts AN:LABB as close to canon — or rather, as canon as it can get given the creative liberties allowed to a third party writer. To that point, Nisio Isin took L’s capoeira demonstration during the Yotsuba arc and made it a whole thing in the novel, with L taking inspiration from Naomi Misora’s skills. However, given the importance of that event, in the main story, L takes a while to even remember Misora so we can infer that either the stress of the case is getting to him OR learning capoeira and subsequently Misora’s role in it didn’t leave that much of an imprint on him because true canon didn’t really put that much emphasis into it. Either way, it’s an extrapolation that works. The technicalities can be overlooked given how ambiguous the scene is, as there is more than room to deduce a different past.

At the same time, I am an apologist that there are shared characteristics to L throughout the different mediums. My own interpretation of L's character has the manga as a baseline, but the expanded universe has taught me that there are sides to him that might not be so easy to perceive in dialogue bubbles or illustrations alone. Little things like L's addictive personality or the way he represses feelings are visible in the manga but caught beautifully in the novels, for example.

Going from the written word into the screen also represents a loss of the purity achievable only within the narrative in-book, where you can extrapolate and reach your own conclusions without being subject to the bias of sound and movement — though manga aggregates the visual to words and with it an altogether different dimension of meaning. That's one of the many things I enjoy about elements of fiction introduced through books; the stillness of the images and the narrative are more complex. Every time the baseline gets adapted, it loses something or that something shifts to fit into the perception of others. It ceases being pure and its essence is fundamentally shattered. Like the concept of a musical score on paper that gets played by an orchestra, there will never be an adaptation as good as the source material because it breaks the illusion.

While I can certainly extrapolate and accept the loss, I find that the written word from the novels, the tone of a VA's voice and the body movements in a live action still complement the manga well, despite narrative clashes.

About L’s humanity

Recently I've been re-watching the anime and it's incredible how Alessandro Juliani's understanding of the character resulted in such a well-rounded voice for L. I actually prefer the EN version to the JP because of the voice acting. It's superbly brilliant, even if L becomes less listless. He's certainly still aloof, but his aggressiveness is portrayed more vividly; in contrast, L in the manga feels a bit more dangerous and scary to me due to the range of expressions that the anime didn't manage to add in due to time and budget constraints. If anything L tones down how dangerous he can be. He does this on purpose so that he can trick and trip his adversary, as can be seen during his earlier interactions with Light. At times, L makes a mockery of himself, apparently placing himself in the position of a more demure individual while sharply observing the world around him and forming conclusions.

As to @maevearcher ‘s first point:

(...) An image of this lonely autistic genius, locked inside the confines of his ways, waiting for the right person to come along and save him from the banes of his solitary existence…until he meets Light and realises there’s someone out there who he can relate to, for understanding and stuff. I personally don’t buy too much into that.

The depth to which L relates to Light can be overestimated, but not without reason. Theirs is mostly an adversarial relationship with varying deviations throughout the expanded universe, but if we solely consider the manga then we get this comment from Ohba regarding whether L has any friends on pg.64 of V13: HTR:

Nope. And when he says that Light is his first friend that’s a big lie. He never considers him a friend. He probably secretly thinks really negative things about him.

During the Yotsuba arc, L is at a disadvantage. Light has turned the tables, tricked him into what Beyond Birthday could not do and thus gained a solid position into rendering L almost powerless to charge him. To elaborate on the latter point: BB wanted to create the perfect, unsolvable crime to humiliate L, making him lose, and thus “spend the rest of his life trembling in fear of B’s shadow” (pg.163, AA:LABB); L would know who the guilty party was but wouldn’t be able to prove it or bring that person to justice. As such, L would not be able to solve the mystery. At the end of the novel BB fails due to Misora’s quick thinking and that’s that. However, Light has several advantages that BB lacked, starting with his own social position, charm and the impeccable reputation of a model student and the prized son of a police chief who helps solve cases every now and then.

We can argue that, what truly happens in manga canon, is L and Light showing how much they respect each other for their detective skills, forming a sort of strange kinship within the cat and mouse game, especially when Light loses his memories of the Death Note. The game thrills them and they enjoy pushing each other’s buttons. No one else has ever challenged them like this. That being said, the first time they meet up for coffee after the tennis match, L is observing Light like a hawk, keeps testing him for a reaction and seems somewhat irritated at how much Light talks. I would venture a guess that L doesn’t actually like Light that much, even when he loses his memories. He might even find Light a nuisance when he waves the flag of morality — though this is a common problem L is confronted with when dealing with the Task Force, in particular Chief Yagami and Aizawa. This also places him at another gruesome disadvantage, as he’s surrounded by people who openly dislike and criticise his methods. The Task Force is also extremely wary of the way L pursues Light and think he’s being stubborn without proof to substantiate his reasoning. Ironically, it’s Aizawa, one of L’s most critical subordinates, who initiates Light’s downfall years later once he starts to consider L’s suspicions in light of Near and Mello’s tactics. 

Both L and Light respect the game, no matter where it takes them. I would further make an educated guess that Light even preyed on L’s vulnerabilities during the Yotsuba arc, predicting how L might fall into depression for failing at the game. Light was more than capable of understanding that L’s competitive and childish side would make him a sore loser, especially given that he had already “lost” the first round of battles just by showing his face. Even if there is a sliver of friendship between both during Light’s months of amnesia, it’s dead and buried the moment he becomes Kira again. 

My conclusion here would be that, while what happened with Light was extreme, it was also somewhat similar to Beyond Birthday’s eternal enmity towards L: the challenge, the need to humiliate and take down the greatest detective, one of the most brilliant minds to ever walk the Earth. There are some notable quotes from AA:LABB that reference what it is to be L, surrounded by future challengers and individuals who both look up to L and want to prove they’re better than him:

Pg.69

By simple arithmetic, L's ability in 2002 was the equivalent of five ordinary investigative bureaus, and seven intelligence agencies (and by the time he faced off against Kira, those numbers had leapt upward several more notches). This is easy to think of as a reason to respect and admire someone, but let me say this as clearly as possible: that much ability in one human is extremely dangerous. Modern danger management techniques rely heavily on diffusing the risk, but his very existence was the exact opposite. In other words, if someone was planning to commit a crime, they could greatly increase their chances of getting away with it by simply killing L before they began. That was why L hid his identity Not because he was shy or because he never left the house. To ensure his own safety For a detective of L's ability, self-preservation and the preservation of world peace were one and the same, and it would not be correct to describe his actions as cowardly or self-centered.

Pg. 117

L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House. Everyone of us wanted to surpass him. To step over him. To step on him. M did, N did, and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal.

Pg. 160:

B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki - L.L.  For anyone from Wammy's House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter - and Beyond Birthday seized this case as his chance.

One of the biggest problems with these quotes is that they paint a very complicated — and, ultimately, suffocating — picture of what it is like to be L. Ohba himself mentions Watari’s predisposition towards collecting geniuses from all over the world and what Wammy’s House has turned into, under the snippet for Watari’s character (pg.60 V13:HTR):

He’s a guy who cultivates detectives for fun. That’s kind of terrible, isn’t it?

Everyone profits from L. Watari becomes richer than ever. Wammy's House becomes breeding ground for geniuses who end up dreaming of a life where they enjoy constant thrill and challenge. However, in order to do so, the dream cannot be complete until the successor crushes the original; until M, N, B and A defeat L. At least one of L’s successors couldn’t handle the pressure and committed suicide. B, known as Backup, runs away from the orphanage and goes on a murder rampage. Having never met L in person, he deduces several personality quirks that the “original” demonstrates, going as far as exacerbating them in order to be creepy and repulsive. Mello, who boasts of having met L in person and being privy to stories about how he defeated several other detectives (then taking their aliases as a trophy) both fervently admires L and wants to step on him. 

Step on him. That’s quite the turn of phrase. It does sound scary, doesn’t it? To be surrounded by people who would take the opportunity to pull you down, no matter how much they admire you. They want to be you, to prove that they’re better than you. It’s game and ego. Life and death. Winner and loser. 

And that’s perhaps the most blatant summary in approved canon of what it is like to be L that we’ll ever get. We can, of course, argue that Watari cares about L. He’s not only his handler, but also the one who brought him into Wammy’s House. It’s fairly clear that he nurtured (and even enabled) some of L’s most distressing character traits, though I wouldn’t necessarily say it was with a purely utilitarian agenda. It’s perfectly acceptable to extrapolate how Watari might’ve wanted to keep L, a child of great intellectual genius, happy by allowing him to be challenged and properly educated. In fact, AN:LABB (pg. 145-46) even gives us L’s perspective on the kindness that justice can achieve, which is confirmed within the expanded universe to be similar to Watari’s teachings as L confronts Kujo in L:CtW. 

"I have nothing to do with him," L said. "To be completely accurate, I do not even know B. He is simply someone I am aware of. But none of this affects my judgment. Certainly I was interested in this case, and began to investigate it because I knew who the killer was. But that did not alter the way I investigated it, or the manner in which my investigation proceeded. Naomi Misora, I cannot overlook evil. I cannot forgive it. It does not matter if I know the person who commits evil or not. I am only interested in justice." "Only... in justice... " Misora gasped. "Then ... nothing else matters?" "I wouldn't say that, but it is not a priority." “You won't forgive any evil, no matter what the evil is?" "I wouldn't say that, but it is not a priority." "'But..." Like a thirteen-year-old victim. "There are people who justice cannot save." Like a thirteen-year-old criminal. “And there are people who evil can save." "There are. But even so," L said, his tone not changing at all. As if gently admonishing Naomi Misora. “Justice has more power than anything else." "Power? By power ... you mean strength?" "No. I mean kindness." He said it so easily. Misora almost dropped the phone. L The century's greatest detective, L. The detective of justice, L. Who solved every case, no matter how difficult... " ...I misunderstood you, L." "Did you? Well, I'm glad we cleared that up."

I would, once again, venture another educated guess that, while Watari’s primary reasons for starting a program of successors to L was noble, it ultimately backfired on an individual level. Society wise, the letters, as L calls them in L:CtW, are a force for good. They solve crimes, help law forces around the world to keep peace. Some of them even become scientists like Dr Kujo — though she becomes the main antagonist in the spin-off novel. However, the pressure this kind of lifestyle fostered creates a group of individuals who are highly competitive and manipulative. Some, like A, can’t handle it. Even L has his own troubles, being called a reclusive sociopath, possibly by the police forces who treat him as a utility rather than a person. He’s someone they admire and resent, who is tolerated given how effective he is at cracking down cases. 

This passage from L:CtW paints a grim picture of the way L suppresses his own feelings as he breaks down for not being able to prevent Maki from being kidnapped (pg. 150-51):

"Light...it hurts. My heart--" It was a hurt that L Lawliet had suppressed, that he had to suppress in order to continue his existence as the peerless Detective L. How had the world's top detective been described in regard to facets of his personality rather than his ability as a detective? He had been called a kinky detective who relished bizarre murders, a human computer capable only of measuring mass murders in terms of cold numbers, a reclusive sociopath. What L thought of such estimations of his personality only L could know. But no one could truly understand L. How L did not and could not forget the faces of thousands of victims. Who could comprehend the man who had lived his life, and had to live confronting all the lives that ended prematurely, the tears of grief-stricken survivors, the devaluing of life as a daily reality. How was it possible to measure the pain of such a man? Was it a strain so heavy that L's back curved under all its weight? Was it an agony so terribly to leave the indelible dark circles around his eyes? Was it a feeling so bitter that every bite he took needed to be coated in sugar? The chronically rounded shoulders, the inevitable dark circles, the eccentric tastes--L suppressed the pain of being a champion of justice, but the evidence of the pain was moulded into his very body.”

Even within the clear disparity from the official canon, this passage slaps. It humanises L further, making the detective become a person and not just a machine who is content with his lifestyle. I know there’s a tendency for those who prefer the manga to see L as someone who is unabashedly himself and perfectly alright with the life he lives. I would argue that the Kira case was not only the most difficult challenge L ever faced, but also a series of moments where he had to be at his best — and at his worst. He had to do everything within his power to solve the case, not only because of his pride but because of what he considers to be his sense of justice. Saying with such confidence ‘I am justice’ is a rather cheesy and childish thing to say out loud, though I read it as both what started as a child’s stubbornness and what L became, as he positioned himself as a barrier to prevent crimes. 

L suppresses himself, represses his emotions; he tries to control them, as Fu Takashi says in an interview, he is “dependent on games or battles of the mind”. Perhaps this is a consequence of the foundations of his personality. Despite L’s innate stubbornness, it could be argued that this is as much his fault as it is Watari’s, who didn’t nurture L’s social skills as he should have when he was a child. By not having an outlet outside of his hobby, L is trapped in a prison of his own making. Superficially, L is a “smart guy who hates losing”, but what about the rest? What about the things that make him human, the connections with others? In the same interview, it is mentioned how L feels lonely and needs affection. But what affection can you get when you isolate yourself from the world and keep everyone at arm’s length? He’s not a machine. Even machines become obsolete with time, and need outside help to keep functioning.

As for the latter point, if everyone around L is trying to step on him, humiliate him and surpass him, then it’s only natural that his emotional defences would be up. Aside from Watari, whose loyalty he can count on, he’s alone. L has no one else. And everyone around him will have a dangerous, significant probability to betray him.

Next in part 02: About romance, having someone close and intimate, the meaning of the Monster speech.

Tagging @rinneroraito and @sharkiethrts who might be interested in this meta.

[thepersonperson]

Thoughts on the tragedy of Gojo Satoru and narrative cruelty towards him as of JJK 261.

Some notes before we start.

1) This originally was going to be an analysis about how Gojo is Megumi's dad. Then JJK 261 came out and shattered my heart into millions of pieces.

2) This analysis will briefly deal with suicide.

3) The light novels are canon and provide critical insight to characters and their motivations. I would go as far to say they're the equivalent of Bleach's CFYOW for JJK. I will be citing the official translation from my own copies. There is a fan translation (Book 1 & Book 2), but the syntax is a bit clunky to read. Either version is fine, I just highly encourage reading them.

4) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 

5) Read the light novels.

(Click pictures for captions/citations.)

Preface

Umineko no Naku Koro ni (When the Seagulls Cry) is a visual novel about a person who is fundamentally misunderstood by those around them. They desperately want to be loved without being perceived, believing themself to be unworthy due to trauma and immutable characteristics given to them at birth. Instead of telling anyone these feelings directly, they play games akin to torture. They torment the ones they love over and over in hopes they'll see through their actions and understand them.

"Without love it cannot be seen."

If you've ever heard of Umineko, you've probably seen this quote. It's the lens in which you are supposed to view the contents of the novel in order to understand the heart behind the actions.

Keep this all in mind as I attempt to answer the following question:

What's wrong with Gojo Satoru?

Short Answer: Being the Strongest. He never got over the trauma inflicted by Toji that was worsened by Geto. And because he's the Strongest, he never sought help for these problems. I’m not going to explain why this is the case here—we’re just accepting this as canon for this analysis. How this trauma manifests and affects his interpersonal relationships is the focus here.

Regardless of trauma, Gojo Satoru is a fascinating character in that he is simultaneously a egotistical arrogant dickhead and a deeply caring individual. He's not one or the other, he is both at the same time at all times. Allow me to explain how he pulls this off.

2 Birds 1 Stone

Gojo Satoru is a 2 birds and 1 stone kind of guy. What I mean by this is that Gojo will do 1 thing and have 2 reasons behind it. The reasons often seem contradictory which leads fans and characters to have a polarized view of Gojo based on how they feel about him. If you hate Gojo, you will only see the bad/selfish reason. If you adore Gojo uncritically, you will only see the good/selfless reason.

This is why without love, it (Gojo's heart) cannot be seen.

I will now provide examples of this 2 birds 1 stone action.

Ijichi Kiyotaka

Ijichi and Gojo’s relationship is the best to start with because it teaches you how to read Gojo’s words vs his actions/results. We all know Gojo is very blunt in an rude way. This is at its extreme when he’s with Ijichi as seen in the following panels.

Gojo straight up tells Ijichi he’s useless as a sorcerer in a way that makes him cry. It’s definitely bullying, but it’s not to torment Ijichi even though it seems that way. Ijichi comes to understand Gojo was just trying to make sure he wouldn’t die. This particular scene took place right after Haibara died, Nanami quit, and Geto defected. The harshness is how Gojo is choosing to say “Hey I care about your life, but don’t get too close to me, I can’t handle that.”

Gojo was even kind enough to offer a productive alternative that let him participate in Jujutsu society without risking his life—driving a car and putting up veils.

Still, Gojo’s bullying of him is a lot. It makes Ijichi doubt that Gojo even likes him. Gojo has to spell it out that he trusts Ijichi the most. Ijichi being weak means he cannot betray Gojo like Geto did, therefore Gojo can fully trust him. Still, Gojo is aware his weakness is other people, so as The Strongest, he can’t let him in all the way. This leads to him showing affection/care in the most insane ways possible. (It’s not really a surprise people don’t understand him when he uses this plausible deniability model.)

ENTER: JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 3 Asakusabashi Elegy

As stated in CFYOW, Gojo is aware of Ijichi’s stress and went out of his way to help him deal with it.

Not only does he recognize the stress and notice he hasn't taken time off for it, but he also pinpoints the reason so well that it moves Ijichi to tears. (Summary of Pages 75-77: He feels guilty for failing Yuji twice. Gojo assures him it’s not his fault and flicks him on the forehead.)

But! Gojo can’t be too affectionate. The very next day he piles a good deal of work on Ijichi’s desk he is aware will be stressing him the fudge out. (See Pages 78-79 for full context.)

It should go without saying that treating Ijichi like this is not ok. My point here is to demonstrate that despite being a massive asshole, Gojo does care.

So what did we learn here?

1) Gojo is aware of people’s emotional problems to some extent.

(IDing Ijichi’s stress source accurately.)

2) Gojo is aware he is unable to deal with emotional problems on his own so he enlists outside help.

(Having Shoko and alcohol help cheer Ijichi up while he talks to him.)

3) Gojo’s bluntness and flippant behavior is both rude and serves a purpose for the recipient.

(Gojo bullying Ijichi to keep him out of harm’s way.)

4) Gojo packages his affections with cruelty to keep people at a distance.

(Gojo flicking Ijichi on the head while telling him to take it easy. Taking Ijichi for a night out and then burdening him with extra work the next day.)

5) Other people do not understand Gojo and misread his intent all the time.

(It took Ijichi about 10 years to realize Gojo cares deeply about him.)

Nanami Kento

ENTER: JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust, Chapter 2: Resurrection Doll

This chapter is so good at fully fleshing out the Gojo Nanami dynamic that I will not be using manga citations for most of this part. Please read it. Or listen to the official audio drama which has been fan translated.

Gojo spends the first half of this chapter messing with Nanami, forcing him to try unique foods and drinks and generally enjoy himself. You know the typical purposeful Gojo bullying. (See Pages 33-38)

Then it gets rather serious when they arrive at their mission’s destination. They have to deal with a grieving mother. Gojo is blunt. Nanami is comforting. (See Pages 47-50)

What’s interesting about this interaction is how Gojo reflects on it. He acknowledges how bad he is at dealing with attachment issues that come from grief.

Gojo and Nanami find the culprit and the both of them are quite pissed at how he’s exploiting grief to make a profit. They kind of let him be tortured by the curses that eat his body for a bit before killing him. Gojo makes Nanami do it because he can make him die a human death. (See Pages 50-57)

Even after he has expressed hatred of his man for preying on grieving parents, Gojo still ultimately wants this person to have a proper death. This captures the duality of his inhumanity (torture) and humanity (merciful death) quite well.

The following bar scene ties this all together nicely. (See Pages 58-60 for full context.)

I want to note that it is constantly drawing attention to the sentimentality the both of them feel as they converse about how this particular mission messed with them.

As stated in CFYOW, Gojo believes adults treat their stress with alcohol and conversation. And yet, he denies himself the alcohol.

Gojo denying himself this stress relief seems to be a combination of him being too wary to let down Limitless and not believing he needs it. He's the Strongest and he has to be the Strongest at all times, otherwise someone like Toji will get him.

As stated in CFYOW, Gojo recognizes his students will face trauma similar to himself and Nanami and that as adults they must look out for them.

What's so heartbreaking about this interaction is how Nanami is painfully aware Gojo isn't following his own advice of stress relief and says nothing. In a way it almost reads like Gojo, who knows people see him as a giant child, is asking Nanami to help him too in the most roundabout way possible.

As stated in CFYOW, Gojo deliberately paired Yuji with Nanami because he recognizes he is unfit to keep him emotionally stable. (Also note he refuses to have Yuji’s humanity denied as Sukuna’s Vessel. His concerns are explicitly about Yuji as a kid and nothing else.)

Not only is this for Yuji’s benefit, but for Nanami’s as well.

As we know, Nanami and Gojo have one thing common: they lost their best friends because they couldn’t be there for them. This guilt motivates both their actions as adults. Using that connection through shared grief, Gojo is trying to help Nanami heal from that wound with Yuji.

Why Yuji? Nanami’s best friend, Haibara, was a cheerful, friendly boy with a big heart—just like Yuji. He may not be able to replace Haibara, but that familiarity helps Nanami move on. We know this worked because Nanami dies without regrets thanks to Yuji. (All while seeing Haibara too.)

This is called the Nanago Bible for good reason. We have Gojo being an absolute annoying dick to him and then doting on him so targetedly it kind of makes your head spin. Just like Ijichi, Gojo cares but he’s got to bully you first before he shows it. (Totally sane and healthy behavior. /s)

That's why this hurts so much.

This is so cruel. Gojo does all this for Nanami only to be misunderstood by him in the end, and learn that everyone else is the same way.

However, Nanami still cares for him. Like Gojo, Nanami doesn't show affection unless he's being kind of mean. The best example of this is Yuji calling him Nanamin. And to be honest, his whole stern father dynamic with Yuji.

Nanami puts on a show here. He pretends this is pissing him off but he ultimately accepts it.

We've already established that Gojo is unable to fully understand other people. Nanami calling him a pervert/weirdo/self-satisfier was affection and Gojo too misunderstands him. So we're left with that panel of Gojo looking very hurt.

Iori Utahime

Similar to Ijichi, Gojo trusts Utahime because she is weak. And just like Ijichi, Gojo doesn’t say “I trust you won’t betray me like Geto”, he says this:

Not ignoring the misogynistic stint to his bullying of Utahime, Gojo has been doing this for so long that Utahime flat out hates him. It’s in her official character description. And Gojo is unaware of this because he can't read people well. But you want to know what else is? Her love of sports. (Baseball is one she's really into.)

After the disaster that was the first half of the Goodwill Event, Gojo makes the second half enjoyable for the students and Utahime specifically. 2 birds and 1 stone. Baseball means kids get to enjoy their youth and Utahime gets to have fun with something she genuinely enjoys. And Gojo gets to piss off Principal Yaga and Gakuganji as a treat.

Hopefully you can see the pattern now. Gojo cares for people while also being an absolute menace to keep them at a distance for what he believes to be their own good. And still he craves a direct connection with them. All of it is him failing to cope with Toji and Geto in a healthy way and being The Strongest.

Gojo's Heart

Now that we've established how to read Gojo's actions and words, let's take a look at his heart. What kind of person is Gojo Satoru really under all the posturing?

Other People

Though Gojo likes to act like he's above it all, other people are his weakness. This is not limited to other sorcerers, but the non-sorcerers as well. His attachment to people is so strong that it has been used by each major villain as an exploit. Toji used Gojo's fondness towards Riko to catch him by surprise, both Geto and Kenjaku used his sense of duty towards complete strangers to trap him, and Sukuna used Megumi to throw him off guard.

The Hidden Inventory and Shibuya Incident arcs in particular echo each other in set up and outcome—Kenjaku's plan being a finessed version of Toji's. Gojo panics over Riko and strangers potentially dying with the same expression as his weakness is exploited until he comes up with a solution on the spot. And these solutions ultimately fail to stop the villain from obtaining their goals. The difference between them is how Gojo follows up on the collateral damage. Post-Geto fallout, he starts more directly checking in on the people he potentially hurt.

The follow-up with Ijichi about Shibuya is illuminating. It reiterates that unconsciously Gojo created a domain on the fly that wouldn't be lethal to strangers, and it reveals that his cursed energy itself is hellbent on protecting others. What this indicates is that Gojo's soul is devoted to others. If he didn't care, none of this would be possible.

That being said, Nanami also isn't wrong to call Gojo a Jujutsu Pervert. Gojo does very much get off on fighting to the point where he starts disconnecting from other emotions. Just as the Hidden Inventory and Shibuya Incident showcased how much Gojo cares for other people, the same arcs showcased how unhinged Gojo is when left to his own devices.

He's both caring and a freak at the same time. Polarizing behavior included.

Gojo’s Students

Gojo cares a lot about his students, their enjoyment of life, and their futures. He also wants to change Jujutsu society without senseless bloodshed so he goes out of his way to recruit strong children with potential as his allies (Megumi, Yuta, Yuji, Hikari). Some may think he’s only using the youth for his own purposes. Others may think he just wants to help troubled youths. But it’s both. Gojo is doing both of these things. And boy does he feel immense guilt over it when it goes poorly. See how he handles Yuji "dying".

It should be noted that he still tries to maintain his jokey persona with Shoko and Ijichi while he genuinely gets upset. And he does this by bullying the tar out of Ijichi. (It's really no wonder the poor thing thought Gojo hated him.)

As stated in CFYOW, JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust, Chapter 4: Ijichi at Work, Gojo’s style of care is one that is focused on helping the children handle the emotions he couldn’t at their age. (See Pages 116-118 for full context.)

Gojo basically finds children who are like himself and tries to make sure they don’t wind up like him. This is how he has chosen to cope with his trauma.

You could read this as manipulative and selfish if you find Gojo unbearable. It did turn out poorly in the end. But remember how he forced Nanami to speak of Yuji as a person and not a vessel. And how Gojo discusses with him the fragile hearts of youth and how he wants to prepare them for grief. Gojo is anticipating Jujutsu society ruining their lives and acting preemptively.

Gojo also postures in front of the students. As their pillar of stability, he pretends everything is ok because he's the adult in charge. Look at how quickly he buries his grief when they notice something is up.

And each time he does this, it works. He definitely believes what he says and that does make him annoying. However, the students feel secure because he's promising to take responsibility. When he fails them, he blames himself and no one else. That's the attitude of someone that cares despite most of his students not seeing through his arrogance.

Geto Suguru

It's not up for debate that Gojo was in love with Geto. Gojo 100% was gay for Geto. What is up for debate is whether or not the two of them ever acted on it when they had the chance. I lean towards the interpretation that this love was never realized in life. (Gege is a huge fan of yaoi that ends in tragedy.)

I want to make it very clear, after reading the contents of JJK 261, I believe Geto is the one who failed Gojo the most. He had a fundamental misunderstanding of his best friend so bad that he abandoned him and was shocked that Gojo still loved him in the end. It took him until the afterlife to see that all Gojo wanted was him.

Gojo checking in on him wasn't enough, Gojo not killing him for 10 years even though he could've wasn't enough, Gojo saying something that caused Geto to blush before he killed him wasn't enough, Gojo dying and immediately greeting him first wasn't enough. This is when he finally understands.

Before not denying the fact Geto saw Gojo as a self-satisfying Jujutsu pervert who cared about no one else.

Geto was too consumed by his own trauma and hang-ups to see Gojo with love. He wound up doing the exact same thing he killed non-sorcerers for; putting all the burden of their relationship on the strongest and expecting him to do all the work.

And yet somehow Geto was able to find the love Gojo also deserved. He made a family and was surrounded by people who openly loved him and even understood him. It makes me a little bitter.

At one point Geto did understand Gojo a lot. Enough to be his moral center and sense his suffering. He even accepted Gojo's awful personality when everyone else wouldn't. Since their breakup, Gojo has been mourning him. Every little thing Geto told him to do while they were together is something Gojo incorporated into his life.

Using the personal pronouns "Boku" and "Watashi" over "Ore" to be more polite? Done. Not killing ordinary people, even if they suck, because that would be pointless? Done. Even to the point where he spares most curse users or rehabilitates them. He takes care of Geto's family even after he's dead. Looking after the weak because he's strong? Done until it kills him.

Gojo is chasing after a Geto that no longer exists. These little rituals keep that ghost alive. And they turn out to be super beneficial to other people so let's make it another 2 birds and 1 stone that hides the fact he's grieving.

Gojo's Guts

In summary, Gojo does care about other people despite treating them in bizarre and unpleasant ways that aren’t ok. He may be using them as a way to work through his own trauma, but he is also determined to see that they live better lives than himself. 2 birds, 1 stone.

His status as The Strongest isolated him so severely that he was doomed to being misunderstood by everyone he loved. Both because of how Gojo treats them and how they treat his power. (Limitless being the metaphorical and literal barrier between himself and others.)

Gojo wants to give love and be loved but is denied it at every turn. His heart is that of a pathetic sopping-wet cat that pretends it's completely dry.

Narrative Cruelty

The narrative ire for Gojo Satoru cannot be overstated. This person sums it up the best.

After JJK 261, it has become abundantly clear to me that Gojo was intending to die the moment he made the date December 24th (the most romantic day in Japan and the death date of Geto Suguru). He has all this grief and guilt and truly believes that no one living will ever understand or care about him in the way he wants. The only one Gojo believes will understand him is Geto and he wants to be with him. (And that didn't pan out well either.)

Gojo is also refusing to burden the students with being a monster even though they're offering. As an adult he is in the right to do his damndest to make sure the minors in his care don't become as broken as him. He knows being a monster sucks and his whole goal is to put an end to that.

Plus, he blames himself entirely for this situation in the first place. He's taking responsibility by killing the elders to ensure that when he dies, his students don't pay for it. In a way he's correct, failing to kill Geto properly because he loved him is why they're here now. Kenjaku exploited that love to seal him and Gojo knows it.

The Gojo vs Sukuna fight was Gojo effectively committing suicide to be with his one and only love who fundamentally misunderstood him in life and barely understands him even in death. And ironically, the one who kills him is the first and only person relate directly to his suffering and acknowledge him as himself. Sukuna frees Gojo from the title of Strongest and leaves him as Gojo Satoru, appreciating him as the one who cleared his skies.

This is so unbearably cruel it makes my stomach twist just thinking about it.

It's why I want Gojo so desperately to come back to life. I want him to experience love and know that he is loved. I want him to come to terms with his grief and work through it. But we don't get that. He dies and is surrounded by people that barely understand him while claiming to have no regrets.

What's the point of this narrative ire?

Japanese society is largely Buddhist. Detachment, a kind of Stoicism, is a tenant of Buddhism. Emotions are to be let go of. Ideally when they arise, you don’t cling to or bury them. A version of this idea from Zen Buddhism manifests in Japanese culture as a mantra known as Suffering in Silence or Gaman. In summary, if you're hurting, you hide it. That's the proper thing to do. It leans much more towards repression of emotions instead of their release/detachment.

JJK deliberately draws inspiration from Buddhist teachings and imagery so I'm assuming Gojo Satoru being the poster child for Suffering in Silence is intentional. Taking everyone's burdens and pretending it's all ok because he's the strongest and that's what you're supposed to do.

He took on most of the burden for protecting Amanai Riko and they both died for it.

He took on the burden of being stronger, going on missions for both Nanami and Geto while they grieved until they both left him.

He took on the burden of raising Megumi and Tsumiki and look at what happened to both of them.

He took on the burden of every student no questions asked, money food, dealing with higher ups, etc and all but 2 of them treat him kindly.

He took on the burden of killing Geto, which Principal Yaga forced onto him when he was 17 and it came back to bite him 11 years later in Shibuya where he took on the burden of dealing with that veil.

This is a cautionary tale demonstrating just how much this kind of mindset can ruin your life. JJK has always been a massive critique of Japanese societal standards. And despite Gojo rebelling against it, the toxic ideas a part of his upbringing are ones he can't let go of for himself. He believes he can't be fixed, so he paves the way for the future generation with all his body and soul.

That's why this is so cruel.

In life Gojo was treated like an object by everyone around him. His clan saw him as a tool for their glory and pushed everything onto him. The higher ups, Yaga, Nanami wanted to push everything onto him and they did when they could. You can say whatever mean thing you want to him because he can clearly handle it. You can assign whatever mission or task because he's reliable as the strongest but not as a person. He gave his life for others and even his body, only to be scorned by those very ones he's helping. (Think back to how he forced Nanami to speak of Yuji as a person and not a vessel. He doesn't want any of his students to be dehumanized like himself.)

Yuta is only person who stopped to ask if Gojo was ok. He's the only one that noticed his status as a monster was eating him alive. He's the only one who had a problem with everyone talking about Gojo's body like a tool. And to help him be less lonely he asked for explicit permission to be the one to desecrate it.

Gojo doesn't want his students to give up their humanity and be lonely or give their lives to win. He's ok with them taking risks if it means they survive (see Megumi). And from what it looks like, Yuta will be the only one to fully understand him (obtaining his memories and all) and then die as the result of it.

So in a cruel twist of irony, Gojo will have one person know him fully as a monster and they will likely die as the result of it, further justifying his self-isolation in the first place. It's a game he always loses no matter how he plays.

Sukuna wasn't really wrong when he called Kashimo greedy for wanting Love and Strength. With how their society is structured, they really can't have both.

Note: I'm leaving Yuji out of this because he had no idea this was the plan and always saw Gojo as his teacher first, aka a person. This is also his general reaction to Gojo going things alone.

There's still more...

I also want to note Shoko's reaction here is another instance of Gojo not understanding those around him. From her first official character profile it's noted that Shoko has finally quit smoking for 5 years because Utahime asked her to.

Now what is Shoko doing in that panel and during the entire fight? Smoking. She's just mirroring Gojo's own behavior towards her. Pretending everything is ok and saying nothing of her true feelings. After getting blown off emotionally by both Geto and Gojo as a teenager, Shoko gave up on reaching them.

Gojo did this to her for over a decade and she's doing it back to him. Not because they want to me mean to each other, they just don't know how else to deal with their own trauma. To an extent the other students are doing the same. They're just being like their Sensei.

Gojo went out on a suicide mission believing only Yuta and Yuji cared about him in life as a person. (Megumi's getting his own post and believe me it's not fun.) The 2 most empathetic characters were able to let him know they saw his heart. With love it was seen. Other people cared and didn't show it or they flat out treated him like an object. Gojo is both at fault and not at fault for this.

It hurts me a lot and it's very cruel, but I think this has severed its purpose. If you don't tell people how you feel, they'll never know. Emotions will eat you from the inside out and no one will notice because on the surface you look ok. There aren't a lot of people like Yuta who will take the time to look for your heart, so it's better to outright show it. Don't put off grief, it will consume you.

Gege Akutami...when I get you...

Another prominent theme of Umineko is how poorly readers treat the creators of the story they are experiencing. Often times fans will say and wish horrible things on the author when the story they like doesn't go the way they want it to. You're free to feel upset by how this story's direction and critique it to your hearts content, but please remember Gege is a person too. Don't do to Gege what everyone else has done to Gojo.

Remember: "Without love, it cannot be seen."

However JJK ultimately concludes, I make you this promise.

"This game story will not have a happy ending."

[dira333]

Of Godzilla and the Night Sky - Iwaizumi x reader

Finally done - tagging @shoulmate and @emmyrosee because for some reason Osamu had to play wingman in this one - come get your man

It helps that Miya Osamu is roughly your age. 

“Please,” you say, swallowing around the lump in your throat. “I’m a quick learner!”

He eyes you for a moment. His face does not tell you anything and you suppose you can’t fault him for saying no. You’ve got no experience waiting tables and he’s not exactly looking for an employee.

“You can start tomorrow,” he agrees finally. “Do you have some time to go over everything right now or are you willing to come in earlier tomorrow?”

“I don’t have to be anywhere right now,” you stutter around and he nods, beckons you behind the counter.

This is how it starts. This is how it ends.

You’ve paid off your publisher instead of writing the last novel in your contract.

You’re free but without a job, almost all your savings have gone toward that freedom.

You’ve got no proper training but the almost forgotten two weeks you spent photocopying papers in your father's office when you were fourteen.

Maybe you’ve written too many romance books, have searched for too many signs where there had been none given, but the glowing sign of an Onigiri shop had called you in like a beacon in the stormy sea called life.

-

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya!” You greet with a friendly smile. Atsumu throws an arm around you and pulls you in.

“This is what I was talking about!” He calls out to his brother. “No one wants to see your ugly face when they come in. This is a smile that makes me want to eat.”

“Gross,” Sakusa mutters right behind him but while his mask hides his mouth, you can tell by his eyes that he sends you a smile.

Most of Atsumu’s team comes by at least once a week. High on adrenaline after a win, for team bonding, as Meian calls it, or just to lick their wounds after a particularly nasty loss. They’re not easy, with Atsumu, Hinata and Bokuto all fighting for your attention while Inunaki keeps ribbing and teasing whoever he can get to. But they’re still under your favorite customers and sometimes, when the ruckus dies down a little, Sakusa comes to sit at the bar, mask put away, and asks about your day. You know Osamu thinks he likes you and Atsumu constantly tries to set the two of you up on a date.

But you know better. 

“How’s moving going?” You ask when Sakusa takes a seat at the bar, far away from where the rest of his teammates are trying to drink each other under the table.

Sakusa smiles softly. “It’s going well, thank you. But I’ve come to loathe the feeling of cardboard boxes. It’s disgusting.”

You laugh. “You are very particular in your likes and dislikes, aren’t you?”

He cocks his head to the side as if waiting for something. You sigh. “But you have great taste.” You add and he smiles smugly. 

Ever since you met his girlfriend - and was sworn to secrecy by him right after - he’s come to collect that particular comment almost every time the two of you talk.

“But enough about me,” He eyes the counter for a second before placing his elbows on the surface and leaning in. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing okay,” you tell him sincerely. “Osamu pays well and I don’t have that many expenses. I keep going like this I should be fine.”

“Hmm,” he eyes you suspiciously. “But you miss writing?”

You tense, throwing a look over his shoulder to check for people listening in. But they are still absorbed in their drinking game.

“I’m not… I miss the rush of it when the story would just… flow out of me. But I don’t have anything to tell right now and I don’t want to sit at my desk for hours staring at an empty document. That’s… That’s worse than cleaning the bathrooms after someone had the spicy Onigiri’s.”

Sakusa pulls a face but he nods, understanding. “I’m sure it will come back. But it’s good that you don’t have to rush anything, right?”

You smile. Yeah. It’s good. Life’s good.

-

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya!” You greet with a smile, hoping against hope that the nervous beating of your heart does not show on your face.

Atsumu reaches you first, slinging an arm around you before bounding off towards their table. There’s Hinata and Bokuto who hug you, Kageyama and Ushijima who nod at you in greeting, before Sakusa winks at you and steps aside to let Iwaizumi greet you.

The smile on his face makes your stomach flip a little but you keep your smile in place.

“Good to see you could come in again,” you tell him. He pulls you into a hug, warm and comforting, his scent washing over you like a wave of fondness. 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he whispers into your ear before he pulls away again. 

“Come on, Coach!” Atsumu calls from the table, “We’re hungry!”

“Tell your brother then!” Hoshiumi crows right before Suna yells “Samu!” through the restaurant.

“Yeez, I’m here!” Osamu calls out from the kitchen. “And I’m not deaf, have some manners, will ya?!”

Iwaizumi takes his place at the table. It’s no coincidence that you come to stand right next to him to take their orders. It hasn’t been that long since they come in regularly after Friday’s training, Japan Men’s National Volleyball Team taking up most of the available space. It’s no loss in profit to keep the restaurant reserved for their team meetings and you’ve certainly enjoyed yourself ever since the first time Sakusa ventured over, Iwaizumi in tow, to introduce the two of you.

You like him. A lot, actually. There’s a warmth in his eyes that you seems to increase every time he looks at you. His interest in you is calm but sincere, and he remembers even the small things you mention offhandedly - like how you were worried that the plants you own could be poisonous to the kitten you found on the street or how your favorite brand of coffee has been discontinued. You like that he takes things slowly but is never careless about the meaning of his words. You wish, for the first time in forever, that you could write a story that feels like him. 

…

“Can I walk you home?” Iwaizumi asks as the team’s clearing out. You’re disinfecting the table, almost jerking up from surprise.

“I… uh…” You throw a look at Osamu who grins. 

“Go,” he insists. “I can take care of this.”

You live barely fifteen minutes away and while you’ve longed for a shorter distance on particularly rainy days, you loathe the shortness of your walk tonight. Iwaizumi’s warmth seems to seep into you just from walking next to him. His laugh vibrates through the air in a way you can almost see.

“I used to paint doors,” you recall as you walk, not really sure what question of his got you to this answer, “Hoping I’d be able to open them and step into different worlds.”

“Do you like that idea?” He asks, “To step out of this world, to get away?”

“Not necessarily to get away. It’s more like… What’s out there, you know?”

He nods slowly, eyes straight ahead. You wait, trusting the time he takes to think.

“When I was a kid, I used to capture Cicada’s. But I always let them go again. I felt sorry for them, I think, because their life’s so short anyway.”

“But you still caught them.”

“Yeah,” he laughs, rubs his neck awkwardly, “What does that say about you?”

“I don’t know, but… maybe you knew that they did not belong to you, but you still wanted to hold on to them for a moment. Like friends? We don’t own them, they don’t belong to us, but we still wish we could keep them close.”

“That’s a weird analogy,” Iwaizumi teases you and you can’t help but laugh about it. “Yeah, but it’s late, so I’ll blame it on that.”

Your apartment block appears in front of you. You stop, not wanting the time to end. A small white face appears in your living room window, peering down at you. 

“Do you own a ghost?” Iwaizumi asks and you laugh. “No, that’s my kitten. She’s got a black body and a white head, so I named her Onigiri.”

It’s his turn to laugh. “You are quite creative with names. But I guess Onigiri wants you to come inside, so I won’t keep you any longer.”

It’s as awkward as it is not, to stand in front of each other, unsure on how to say goodbye. It’s Iwaizumi. It’s Iwaizumi.

When he hugs you, you wish he would have kissed you but you still sink into his arms like you always do, trying to imprint his warmth into your skin to last you until next Friday.

…

That night you can’t fall asleep.

Around midnight you find yourself in front of your computer, typing away, too tired to really think about the words flowing from your fingertips. But there are cicadas and little boys and doors leading to nowhere and everywhere at all.

-

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya!” You burst out, a little breathless from running. Just seconds ago you’d been helping Myamura in the backroom when the bell over the door alerted you of new customers. Iwaizumi’s grinning and you can feel your own lips pull into a wide smile at his sight, your hands already moving to grasp his. 

“I’ve got something for you!” You tell him before you can back out, glad that he came in alone today, just like you hoped he would. After all, it’s not Friday.

“Really? But I have nothing for you-” He starts, breaking off when you come back. “Is that a book?”

“Yes. Well, a manuscript, you could say. I wanted you to read it first. It’s a little silly and I might not sell it after all, because, you know, the whole thing about Godzilla-”

“You didn’t?!” His voice flips a little, his eyes wide. “You really wrote that silly little thing I mentioned?”

“Not silly at all!” You promise, still beaming. “I’m still working on a title, but I think “My best friend Godzilla” is a strong contender.”

Before you can react, think, feel even, Iwaizumi pulls you into a crushing hug. Your head sinks against his shoulder like it’s an instinct, like your body instantly knows where it belongs. 

You could have stayed there longer, warm and safe in his embrace, if not for Osamu pointedly clearing his throat behind you.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” you pull back, “I was supposed to help Myamura.”

“Are you staying?” Osamu asks Iwaizumi over your head, handy busy as he speaks. Iwaizumi shakes his head and you feel your heart drop a little before he turns back to you with an apologetic smile. 

“I’ll see you on Friday. I’ll try to finish the book until then.”

“Oh, you don’t have-”

“I do.” He leans forward, pressing his lips against your temple in a move bolder than anything else he’s done before. You freeze and when he pulls away, his face is flushed and his voice hoarse as he bids you goodbye.

Osamu’s sending you a look that you pointedly ignore, skipping down the hallway to where Myamura’s waiting for you. Your heart’s somewhere in Iwaizumi’s back pocket, beating as fast as a hummingbirds wing as it follows him wherever he goes.

-

“Closing up?” Iwaizumi’s voice reaches you where you’re currently wiping the tables, exhaustion pulling on your limbs. His voice is soft and filled with warmth and something else you can only hear when he talks to you. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask, surprise evident in your voice. The doors should have been closed already.

“Osamu let me in,” he explains, stepping closer and pulling you into a hug. You sink into the embrace, the way he holds you threatening to put you to sleep.

“What are you doing here, though?” You ask again, trying to fight the exhaustion. “It’s not even Friday yet.”

“I finished the book. I wanted to talk to you about it.”

“Oh?” You pull back, anxiety filling your stomach. Suddenly you’re no longer tired.

His smile sets you at ease. It’s that small smile he gets when he’s proud of something but doesn’t want to boast about it. You’ve seen it happen a lot with the team but never directed at you, never like this.

“Well, I… uh…” You turn around, trying to figure out what else you’ve got to do before you can call it a night.

“You can go home,” Osamu’s voice calls out from the kitchen. “I’ve got it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m your boss,” he points out, voice much too warm for his choice of words, “Go before I reconsider.”

…

“I never thought I’d get to read a story about a bitter Biologist who befriends Godzilla and learns to love humankind again because of that friendship.”

You laugh. “But you put that idea in my head. Why is it so surprising?” 

“Oh, don’t put this on me!” Iwaizumi puts a hand on his heart as he walks and it looks so much like Atsumu’s usual antics that you can’t help but giggle even as he talks on. “I only said it would be cool to see humans from Godzilla’s point of view. You created everything around it.”

“What was the best part?” You ask, nudging his side with your elbow. “Of the story?”

To your surprise he falls quiet, staring up into the night. You can’t see any stars through the fog of millions of streetlights, but somewhere above you they still exist. You look up as well, hoping to find what he’s looking for, hoping to find some calm when your heart’s still beating much too fast, much too far away. 

“I might butcher it, but I want to quote it.” He starts and your mouth turns dry when he looks at you like that, like he’s found the stars in your eyes instead of the night sky. “I saw the world as black and white before I met you. Too many wrongs and not enough rights, as if the world had turned into a night sky and one has to squint to make out the little shimmering dots of good in the blackness of bad. But you turned the night into morning, black into the soft lavender hues of a sun rising.”

“Hajime,” you breathe out and his lips pull into a smile you’ve never seen before. It’s wide and daring but softer than anything you’ve ever seen before. 

“I love your book,” he says, voice strong and confident now, “Because you put into words what I felt but didn’t know how to explain. And you told me how you felt too.”

“I-I did?”

His hands take yours, his skin warm, his hold strong. There’s something like amusement shimmering in his eyes. 

“Somewhere in the middle of the book you messed up. Our bitter Biologist was suddenly named Hajime. I can believe some coincidences but not this one.”

You swallow thickly. He pulls you forward and you sink into him like it was always meant to be. His lips press against your temple and you wonder, not for the first time, how one step to the left can lead you down the right path all along.

my Kofi if you want to tip me

[crim-bat]

More thoughts on giving Jason Todd a more well defined niche, less populated

Thinking more about the issue where jason todd doesn't really have a defined niche and i think that if he's not going to be a crime lord (which with DC wanting him to be working with his family, I don't see happening) then interestingly there is another character's niche he could probably steal.

I think that there's two really good options for Jason if they wanted him to have a more defined spot without rubbing up against someone else he's friends or family with like roy harper or fellow members of the batfam.

Jason gets into paranormal nonsense. All those times Jason escaped death by disappearing off screen he actually died (thanks to @fantastic-nonsense for bouncing ideas off with me on this). That time at the end of his original return story? Actually died, walked it off. End of Battle for the Cowl where he fell off a train? Died. Walked it off. Only instead of going full deadpool, he's in the middle ground between life and death, constantly being brought back to life and using that to investigate the paranormal. Essentially, Jason becomes a dark souls PC. When he's going through some shit, he occasionally goes "Dear Reader" like he's in a Jane Austin novel.

Jason Todd kicks Slade "Death Pedo" Wilson off of his perch as noble mercenary and him and Rose Wilson start up a business together. Basically A Team shit. Slade doesn't deserve to be the cool boba fett of the universe. He lost that privilege in the Judas Contract with what he did with Tera. This option is kind of hypocritical but I'm also not in the line of business where I care about Slade Wilson given that whole thing in said Judas Contract Story

Anyways just some general thoughts. We can more fully invest in the absurdity of Jason's second origin or we can go more into him being the action hero guy of the bat family.

[diorgirl444]

to all the greasers i’ve loved before - chapter 1.

warnings: bad writing (my first time writing a multiple part fic ), don’t let the picture of dallas fool you he barely features in this chapter i’m afraid, fem! curtis reader though it is never specified whether the reader is a bio daughter or adopted and so can be read as either, doesn’t follow book canon, 1060 words <3

you had always loved love. your parents were more than happy to recount stories of how you would wander around the house dressed in your nightdress with the lace curtain over your hair clutching onto a small posy of daisies and dandelions. you had called it playing weddings and it was your all-time favourite game.

this obsession with love trickled into other things with most of the cookies you baked being heart-shaped or being the only person to still give everyone, even the weird kids handmade valentines after it was deemed uncool at about thirteen. yes, you loved love but there was an important differentiation, you loved the idea of it. so you supposed it was natural that you began to write love letters the way some people wrote diary entries.

you kept them in a teal silk hatbox of your mothers which had long since lacked the hat intended to be in it. there was one letter for every boy you had liked at one time - five in total. Bryon from volunteering at the hospital, Johnny from freshman homecoming, Dallas from two summers ago, Randy from Model Un and Keith since forever. you supposed your letters were less i love you love letters and more goodbye love letters. they were a way of accepting the crush whilst also allowing yourself to let go and move on. that you could sing to the Ronettes and not be singing about him, that you could buy milkshakes at the diner and not wonder which flavour he’d choose. the letters set you free - at least they were supposed to…

Keith Jacobs was a friend of your brothers but you’d always been a bit in love with him. his mother moved to Tulsa all alone with one son and a baby girl just across the street from you and so your parents, lovely people that they were invited the Jacobs round for a fried chicken dinner. you made a peach cobbler for dessert and when Keith asked for seconds - you glowed with pride. by the time he’d finished his third helping you’d already decided what shade of white your wedding dress would be and from that day he was practically always at your house. there was time when it was the four of you, Daryl, Soda, Pony and Keith but then your parents died and it all changed.

Daryl had to grow up and then the other three all started hanging out later and getting into fights which was fine because you had Angela and Sylvia. well, you had Sylvia till the summer before high school. then suddenly over that summer, she started smoking cheap cigarettes and wearing tight jeans where you were still happy to read a silly romance novel and bake cookies. angie was more like Sylvia really but she was like a street dog who you’d given a treat to - loyal to a fault and kept coming back.

which leads you to where you are now, the last day before junior year and the house is packed. you and Daryl were determined to keep up the tradition of home-cooked meals, mainly for Ponyboy but if you were honest with yourself sometimes as you mashed the potatoes with the radio turned up you would close your eyes and pretend your parents were slow dancing behind you. it turned out that most of your brother's friends didn’t normally eat well so they would often come round too. privately you wish they wouldn’t, they were too loud to you with no manners and they didn’t wash their hands before they ate. but for Ponyboy, the baby of the family you put up with it. You break out of these thoughts when Two-bit speaks, because as you hate to remember he’s Two-bit now not Keith anymore.

“guess who scored themselves a girlfriend”

You choke on your broccoli as all the boys cheer and clap him on the back. your ears ring and you feel like you’re gonna be sick. quietly you whisper to Daryl.

“I don’t feel very well. I think it’s my monthlies - I’m gonna go to bed”

he nods ruffling your hair affectionately as if you're still five and not almost seventeen. you don’t mind - that’s Darry’s way - playing dad to you and your brothers.

“g’night kid I’ll bring you some hot cocoa up and one of those hot water bottles wrapped in a towel.”

as you retreat to your bedroom with tears stinging you hear a chorus of “goodnights” and “feel better soon” from all apart from Dallas. despite your pain you still have the energy to roll your eyes, god forbid Winston cares about someone other than himself for once.

once you clasp your box and retreat under the floral quilts that your mom made you finally allow the tears to fall as you reread the letters. you decide tomorrow you’ll draft a new letter for two-bit, an official goodbye to the foolish hope you’ve clung to for so long. You hear the click of the look, and hastily you shove the letters back into the hatbox and wipe any resounding tears. Pony perches on the edge of your bed holding out the hot cocoa and water bottle that Darry had promised you.

“sissy, you okay?”

you bite back a laugh when he calls you that, a name that he called you as a baby that just stuck. then you watch his eyes catch the hatbox with curiosity.

“what’s that?”

clutching the box to your chest you speak.

“nothing just an old hatbox of mom’s that I keep recipes in. I’ve been working on a new strawberry shortcake one.”

you lie easily knowing that since that’s Pony’s favourite dessert it’ll distract him. he grins widely at you and you are reminded how young he is like a stab in the gut.

“promise?”

he says holding his pinky finger out.

“promise baby, I’ll see you in the morning okay?”

standing up you say to him as you press a kiss to his forehead and place the box away in the top shelve of your wardrobe. he’s still at an age where he pretends that stuff grosses him out so he scowls childishly as he leaves the room. you slip into your white cotton nightgown and finally let sleep overtake you. you’ll deal with it all in the morning and yet in that weird stage between sleeping and awake, you swear you hear the door open once more…

hope you like it! xoxo, flo <3

@socgf @heart-shqped-box @jujuheartz13 @r0seb100d @cranberrv @anifever @notagreasernotasoc @honeysmoonn for now i’m just tagging all the people who expressed an interest but if you don’t wanna be tagged or wanna be added let me know <3

[maleyanderecafe]

Mushroom Oasis (Visual Novel)

Created by: DeersphereStudios

Genre: Romance/Horror

Mushroom Oasis is very cute, and I love Mychael's design a love (I'm a huge sucker for good monster design). @deerspherestudios always seems to make pretty nice games with cute characters and it was really nice to be able to hang out with Mychael! The artwork in it is also very pretty and cozy, much like Mychael himself.

The story starts out with the MC losing their cat, and has become worried about their disappearance. After being unable to look for them, they desperately look into the forest near their house. After wandering for a very long time, they end up stepping in a fairy circle, where they pass out due to the spores after finding their cat's collar.

Waking up in a cabin, they are tended by someone with messy hair. The two of them talk for a while, with the guy revealing himself to be named Mychael. The MC finds Mychael's appearance to be a little bit odd given the horns, his green skin and his pointed ears. The MC tries to ask Mychael where their cat is, showing them a picture of her, but Mycheal doesn't seem to know. Mychael seems touched that the MC is willing to go out of their way to find their cat, and is happy to make conversation with him. While the MC tries to go home, Mycheal seems to convince them using his spores that they should stay. Mycheal brings the MC to the kitchen and offers them food.

If the MC refuses and leaves, Mycheal will reluctantly let them, but as they walk, they end up falling to the forest's influence, passing out. The end is Mycheal walking sadly to see the body of the MC taken by the mushrooms in the ground next to their cat.

If they agree, Mycheal will cook them something and the MC eats it eagerly. The two talk about why Mycheal lives in the woods until the MC accidentally drops their mug on the floor... which Mycheal catches with his tail, later revealing his four eyes. This can lead the MC to either freak out or stay calm.

If the MC decides to calm down, Mycheal will become bashful hiding behind his plate, telling the MC that he'd be willing to hide his eyes if they'd prefer. The MC drinks the tea, and reassures Mycheal about his appearance. Mycheal insists on having the MC stay for the night.

If the MC freaks out, they will try to escape. Mycheal tries to get them to calm down. They can either attempt to take the sewing needles as a defense or leave them.

Leaving them will cause Mycheal to grab the MC forcefully and use his spores to brainwash them into calming down. He cries a bit, sad that he won't be able to love the "real" MC but is willing to play along with the sedated and brainwashed version of them. The MC is then brainwashed into believing that they've been with Mycheal all of their life as Mycheal plays along with this state.

Taking the needles will cause Mycheal to release spores to get the MC to calm down, however, if the MC does attack him, the needles are stabbed into his heart causing him to fall down bleeding. As Mycheal dies on the floor, he talks about how happy he was that the MC was there with him before dying. The MC feels regret.

I gotta say that this artwork is way, WAY too pretty, from the backgrounds to the characters, it's just really cozy and it's great. I love Mychael's design since I love looking at unique monster designs and it's pretty cool seeing a mushroom based monster character. His four eyes are just so expressive, and he has cute expressions. The creator really has to pull on the heartstrings on the ending where he dies though, don't they.

As a yandere, Mychael is pretty interesting because he is pretty much doing the right thing in forcing the MC to stay with him. As we see in the bad endings, if the MC does end up leaving Mychael's cabin, then they end up being taken by the forest much like their cat, so subduing the MC using his spores is probably the best he can do to make sure that they don't leave, even if it's likely out of selfishness as well since he is pretty lonely. The spores do raise up the question of how powerful his mind control is, as we see that sometimes the MC can break out of it, while in others, such as the ending where the MC is braindead, they can pretty much completely erase their memory. It might come down to how much is released in the air or even what kinds are released. It's possible it might come from his eyes as well, since they turn into a sort of pink hypnotic state. Mind control in yandere stories is an interesting topic to get into since it goes into the idea of if the yandere is okay with an MC that doesn't really have a free will anymore and the amount of angst if they do ever snap out of it. Mychael is a curious creature since I'm not sure we know where he came from or if he's the only one of his kind. My theory is that he's some sort of mutation with the forest (since he's able to sort of tell when the forest "takes" someone and is unaffected by it or at least knows how to avoid it) and possibly was chased out by humans at some point as well (thus his complex about his appearance) so he's forced into isolation. Or I'm completely wrong since there can be a lot of reasons why he isolates himself so much. Also, his blushing sprite? Adorable, I love it.

Overall, a pretty cute demo. I like how it's introduced with the MC running after their cat which I feel is pretty different from how other VNs I've played initially introduce their MC. I'm curious to see how Mycheal will develop as a yandere as the story goes on.

[charleslee-valentine]

The Lost Boys name etymology:

As the leader of the group, we’ll start with David. The name David means ‘lover.’ His approach to vampirism is somewhat romantic. The ritual and the wine mixed with blood, takes on an erotic edge for example. Their lips touching the same bottle and the exchanging of fluids, and the haze that follows. His role as the leader could be violent given his power, or indifferent like Max’s way of running things- but he chooses to genuinely savor each member of his little pack. The tears he sheds for Marko are shed with love. The words he whispers to Michael, conscious or not, are endearing and soothing. Whether these bonds are more than platonic to him, or even approached in an acceptable way, he still has loving and sharing that love deeply in his nature, amplified by his powers.

Following him is Dwayne. Dwayne can mean ‘dark.’ Not just referring to his hair among the group obviously, his name could give a tiny glimpse into his character. Being less than a main character his screen time and thus his analytical depth is limited, but something about Dwayne is he can go from smiling with the group, to taking on a very stoic or cold expression fast. The ‘darkness’ inside Dwayne could be festering more than the other boys and making the whole -slightly irritating but mostly harmless teenager facade- a lot harder to keep up for him. Notable especially around Max is that stoniness. Part of his depth, it seems, is distrust for anyone outside of his boys, even his own sire. Dwayne’s edge (and weakness, actually) is his quickness to hold those dark and bitter feelings.

Marko involves some mythology to understand his meaning. The name itself stands for ‘dedicated to Mars,’ and Mars is the God of a few things, prominently war and feral nature. What this means for Marko is possibly strength and power. Of course, he is the smallest and that’s why he’s picked off first, but had the fight been between an awake Marko instead, his name hints at him possibly being the most brutal of the pack. It would make sense, that smaller stature equates to speed, in addition to the heightened vampire powers. Marko probably strikes like a feral animal. His tendency to drift to David and, in the words of Alex Winter himself, serve as something of a lap dog to him, is also possibly because of this nature. The idea being that he sacrificed some of his humanity to the brutality of vampirism and turns to David like a handler of sorts.

Finally is Paul. Maybe unexpectedly, the name means ‘humble.’ Where this personality trait can most prominently be seen is in Paul’s treatment of Star, Michael, and Laddie. He seems to be the only one to empathize with how unsettling vampirism can be and offers gentleness to each, at least in the novelization. There are also still distinctly human traits to him like his substance use, his more enthusiastic expressions, and turning on the radio, which he initiated out of the group. Even refraining from harassing (though affectionately, as we know from the deleted scene) Maria the video store worker. It seems that Paul uses being a vampire to intimidate humans and half vampires much less than the others. This makes him a branch towards humanity. Where he loses his humbleness is when he dies. He takes the time to brag about the stupidity of the Frogs and it costs him time. In his grief he gave up a trait that was so woven into him, and thus became reckless enough that he gets killed.

That’s the case with all of the boys really. Their rage and grief over Marko’s death meant letting those qualities either amplify or disappear to the point of losing themselves, and then losing the fight. In Dwayne’s case, he embraced the violence in himself and targeted Sam even when he knew it wasn’t safe because of Michael’s proximity. The ‘dark’ quality of him took over the common sense. As for David, he trusted in Michael so blindly that he was still trying to coerce him to their side. Even after Marko was gone and now the boys were dropping like flies, it was too hard for him to just stop loving someone. It only becomes clear too late, and then Michael has the upper hand and David’s the one dying.